#//thank ye for thy patience
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Louis + his ways of saying "I love you" to Lestat
"Is this an offer, Louis? Have you come back to me, as lovers say?" His eyes darkened and he looked away from me. "I'm not mocking you, Louis," I said. "You've come back to me, Lestat," he said evenly, looking at me again. "When I heard the first whispers of you at Dracula's Daughter, I felt something that I thought was gone forever --" He paused. - The Vampire Lestat
There was so much I wanted to say to him, to ask him. Yet I couldn’t find the words really, or a way to begin. He had always had so many questions; and now he had his answers, more answers perhaps than he could ever have wanted; and what had this done to his soul? Stupidly I stared at him. How perfect he seemed to me as he stood there waiting with such kindness and such patience. And then, like a fool, I came out with it. “Do you love me now?” I asked. He smiled; oh, it was excruciating to see his face soften and brighten simultaneously when he smiled. “Yes,” he said. - Queen of the Damned
He grew reflective again and very sad. It almost hurt me to look at him. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, but that would only have made him furious. "I love you," he said softly. I was amazed. "You're always looking for a way to triumph," he continued. "You never give in. But there is no way to triumph. This is purgatory we're in, you and I. All we can be is thankful that it isn't actually hell." - The Tale of the Body Thief
I came towards him, planted my hands on his desk and looked into his face. "I was so sure you would understand this. And by the way, I wasn't born a monster! I was a born a mortal child, the same as you. Stronger than you! More will to live than you! That was cruel of you to say." "I know. It was wrong. Sometimes you frighten me so badly I hurl sticks and stones at you. It's foolish. I'm glad to see you, though I dread admitting it. I shiver at the thought that you might have really brought an end to yourself in the desert! I can't bear the thought of existence now without you! You infuriate me! Why don't you laugh at me? You've done it before." - The Tale of the Body Thief
"Have you suffered in my absence?" I asked, looking back at the altar. Very soberly he answered, "It was pure hell." I didn't reply. "Each risk you take hurts me," he said. "But that is my concern and my fault." "Why do you love me?" I asked. "You know, you've always known. I wish I could be you. I wish I could know the joy you know all the time." "And the pain, you want that as well?" "Your pain?" He smiled. "Certainly. I'll take your brand of pain anytime, as they say." - The Tale of the Body Thief
I stopped. I put my arm around him. I held him close to me. “I’m Lestat,” I said in a low voice. “Your Lestat. I’m the same Lestat you’ve always known, and no matter how I’m changed, I’m still that same being.” “I know,” he said warmly. I kissed him. I pressed my lips to his and I held this kiss for a long silent moment. And then I gave in to a silent wave of feeling, and I took him in my arms. I held him tight against me. I felt his unmistakable silken skin, his soft shining black hair. I heard the blood throbbing in him, and time dissolved, and it seemed I was in some old and secret place, some warm tropical grotto we’d once shared, ours alone in some way, with the scent of sweet olive blossoms and the whisper of moist breeze. “I love you,” I whispered. In a low intimate voice, he answered: “My heart is yours.” - Prince Lestat
I couldn’t believe I’d heard right. I stared at him as helplessly as I had in the hallway of the townhouse when I’d first seen him, trying to grasp what he had said. He leaned close to me, and he put his hand on my arm. “ ‘Wither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people’; and because I have no other god and never will, you shall be my god.” - Prince Lestat and The Realms of Atlantis
When I was finally led down the stairs, Louis came with me. In the darkened passage before my resting place, he embraced me and held tight to me, his lips pressed to my ear. I was aware of my hands moving over his hair, embracing his neck, drawing him ever closer, in a way I had never done in our long years in New Orleans. We joined in the posture of lovers, brothers, fathers with sons. “I love you with my whole soul, and I will always love you,” he confided to me. “You are my life. I have hated you for that and love you now so much that you’ve been my instructor in loving. And believe me when I say you will survive this, and that you must for all of us. You will survive because you always have and you always will.” - Blood Communion
#long post#this one has been on my drafts for a while may as well post it#Vampire Chronicles#loustat#Lestat x Louis#Louis de Pointe du Lac#the vampire chronicles#quotes#Lestat de Lioncourt#vampire chronicles spoilers
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𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖞𝖊 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘.
Chapter 15: Our honeymoon will shine our life long: its beams will only fade over your grave or mine.
A sequel to Whither is thy beloved gone? (AO3)
After the events of ‘Whither is thy beloved gone?’ Lord Astarion Ancuńin and his consort wife navigate their relationship anew. The ghosts of the past - his, hers, and theirs - threaten to unravel everything they’ve worked for.
The fast is broken.
Professionally edited and collaborated on by my dearest friend <3 @editing-by-night
Read on AO3.
Masterlist
Art by @lirotation
(For more smutty art, click on the AO3 link. Thanks!)
She was seated on the chaise, her back against Astarion’s chest, his legs on either side of her. She felt his fingers tug on the knot the lacing of her dress had become and heard his soft curse as he failed yet again.
They had settled against each other, gossiping about how Gale definitely looked a little healthier and how Minsc had eaten most of the macarons, when he had begun fiddling with the laces.
“Do you really wish to keep this, darling?” He was definitely irked; the knot had been eluding him for what felt like hours, and his patience was almost gone.
“I mean… probably? But I also won’t be wearing it ever again,” she admitted.
He leaned forward, his hair tickling the middle of her back. There was a loud ripping noise, and then a rush of cold air over her now-bare back. She turned to see him smirking, parts of the dress still between his teeth.
“I can’t believe you did that!”
He held up his hands in false apology, then spat out the fabric. “No use spending any longer than necessary on that nonsense. I’ve waited far too long.”
“Wait.” She held up a hand, stopping him mid-tackle. He eyed her curiously, eyes already half-lidded.
He put on a pout and sat back up, sighing loudly. “You’ve been pleading for my touch for a month, and now that we’re here…” he shook his head. “You do so confound me at times.”
“That’s not the point.” She looked to the bed, and gestured toward it. “I would like to finish what we were doing before you needed to stop.”
He blinked, considering her offer, then nodded. “If that’s what you want, then I shall oblige.”
She slipped off the remnants of the dress, a little pained at its loss. It had been pretty. Stepping out of it, she also tugged her underwear down and toed them off. Astarion coyly sat on the bed, then deliberately slid over to the middle of it, still fully clothed, resting his head on a pillow.
She let out a deep, exasperated breath; his amusement merely grew. “Scoot a little forward.” She slipped in behind him, her legs on either side of him. Immediately he leaned back against her chest, a soft, appreciative hum rewarding her as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
“This brings back memories,” he murmured, and she frowned.
“I’m sorry? Which…” she trailed off as he shared it through their bond.
He stumbled out of the tent, making a beeline for her, curled up by the campfire. His cock was painfully tight against his trousers, the friction as he walked not helping one bit.
He grasped her shoulder. “Ban.” The need was obvious in his tone. “I need- I need your help.”
She’d been half asleep. She turned to face him, surprised. “Astarion? Are you done?” Her eyes found the bulge in his trousers; that answered the question for her.
It had become a common nighttime event for them, Astarion and her curled up together. At times he’d bring her bliss, fingers and mouth more than enough to reduce her to a puddle of desire. He was still unable to be touched, but he felt desire; whenever he brought her release he’d always end up with a painful erection that needed to be relieved. Thus an arrangement had been made: she’d leave the tent and allow him his privacy, and he’d find her once he was done.
Apparently he hadn’t been successful tonight.
“Yes, well.” He gestured at where she was looking, a little too desperate to be embarrassed. “I tried to do it. Every single trick in the damned book, and…” he sighed, exasperated. “I need you to help me.”
She sat up, immediately awake. “This… this isn’t a joke, is it?”
He looked at her askance, and yet not surprised. Finally a chance for her to touch him, and yet she wouldn’t pounce at the opportunity. Another reason why he’d found giving his heart to her all too easy.
Astarion shook his head. “No. I think it’s time we try. I want… I need you to make me come.”
They entered the tent; Astarion closed the flap with one hand, the other reached for her. She turned and he pressed his lips to hers, frantic and tense, hips grinding against her helplessly. He was stressed, warring between the urge to beg for her touch and the urge to hide away in the recesses of his mind.
But he could not. Would not. Not with her. He pulled back with a pained groan.
“I’m not sure how we’re supposed to do this.” Whispered, as if this was a secret he wanted no one else to know.
He watched her think, fingers rubbing her chin. And then she spoke.
“Sit, and let me sit behind you, so you won’t need to see me or even think of me.”
“I’d want to-” he protested. She held up a hand and shook her head.
“Sit. And let me help.”
He acquiesced, swallowing nervously as she sat behind him. He reached back, grasping her hand.
He did the same in the present, tugging her hand to palm his cock. His mind, her mind, linked. Then and now, at times feeling like lifetimes apart, but in truth the same as it ever was.
He tugged his trousers down, feeling the air hit his cockhead. He placed her hand over it. “Slowly.”
She mirrored the movement, slipping her hand under his waistband, wrapping her fingers around his length. Her eyes were shut and she leaned forwards, whispering in his ear. “Thank you for reminding me. You were beautiful that night. Brave. I never told you, because I wasn’t sure how… you’d… feel…”
The last words were punctuated with long, slow strokes. He bucked upwards, mouth parted in a gasp of pleasure.
He wrapped his hand around hers, guiding her. Loose at the shaft, tighter at the head. She was a natural, as it turned out - the drag of her hand, so different and yet surprisingly welcome, combined with the fact that he couldn’t see her, and the knowledge that she was doing this for him… his tension ebbed, much to his surprise. Her touch was gentle, almost reverent, different from anything else he’d ever experienced.
She sucked on his ear and his back arched involuntarily. He groaned out, “That was the first time… in so godsdamned long.”
“I know. You were perfect. Open, trusting. You allowed me to see you. All of you.” Her hand sped up slightly, and he swore. He sat up, roughly stripping off his trousers, kicking them away. Settling on his knees, his fingers flying down the buttons of his doublet and flinging it away. He felt her kneel behind him, snaking her hand around to play with a nipple.
“Touch me.” He wanted it like this, wanted to thrust up into her hand and mindlessly rut, reveling in her words and that memory. She moved closer, flush against his back, and returned her hand to where he needed it most.
She touched him, thumb swiping over his tip, his head glistening in the thin shaft of moonlight-
He looked down, watching himself fuck her hand, hips moving languidly. She kissed his cheek and neck between words. “My sweet, loving husband. My lover, for all eternity. My best, truest friend,” her voice was a sensual whisper that set him alight. “My thiramin,” she added with a nip to his ear, and he moaned, hips jerking as that word pushed him closer to the edge. His cock throbbed, the pent up tension wanting, no - needing - to be released soon.
For once, it felt right. There was no need to perform. His grip tightened on her hand, their pace increasing. Loose at the shaft, tighter at the head. Just like that. No one else had ever cared, or even tried. No one did, not until her, each of her strokes just as he’d asked…
Still the same, still the same exact strokes, but now executed to a perfection she had honed over time. Her other hand caressed his balls, rolling them in her palm, gently squeezing between her fingers. All for him. For love. The loosening and tightening, the swipe at the tip, that slight caress at the bottom of his cockhead. Fuck.
“Of course,” she purred into his ear, licking around its edges, “who else would it be for, for what else? Only you. There was only ever you from the moment I saw you. There was only ever one person who I could love, who could be the one for me. Only one worth everything. You.”
He let out a needy whine. He moved her free hand to his chest, placed his over it, while his other hand fisted the sheets. His ass clenched as he drove into the circle of her hand, nothing held back and everything to give.
“Don’t stop,” he gasped. “Don’t ever stop.”
She kissed down the side of his neck, causing a shiver to run down his spine. “I’ll never stop. I’ll never run out of words to tell you how beautiful you are. How sublime it is to wake up to you every single day, to reach out and know you’ll be there. To know my life has purpose, has meaning. To give you joy, to give you the peace you deserve. To love you the way you should always have been, Astarion.”
He felt her gaze on him, watching him. A far cry from what she had done in the past, when she had kept her eyes away, respecting his privacy. He jerked his neck to meet her eyes, and the heat in them, combined with one final, hard stroke that was just perfectly timed with a squeeze at the tip - perfect, just perfect - made him come.
His reply disappeared in a string of incoherent moans as she pulled away slightly to take in the sight. “Perfect as ever. Equally as wonderful as that night you first taught me how to touch you, let me see you paint us with your pleasure. I’ll always be honored to be the one giving it to you.”
Eyes squeezed shut, body arching, his cock releasing what felt like copious amounts of come - no surprise given how long they had abstained - he was lost to her. He felt her stroking him through it, milking every drop from him, and he shuddered, knowing there would be more. Forever.
She grabbed an old shirt and wiped him clean as he melted against her. As soon as he was able, he caught her lips in a kiss, his tongue darting out to trace the seam of her mouth. It was sloppy, lacking technique, but he didn’t care. He would never have to care again.
He collapsed against her, panting. She reclined them both back onto the pillows, holding him tightly.
“That… was a surprisingly good idea,” she said. Her surprise made sense - the last time they’d touched minds in bed it had been too much, but it seemed like doing so under less intense circumstances was better.
“Of course,” he managed to say. “What am I, if not the source of the best ideas, hm? Especially in this field.” The effect he’d wanted his words to have was lost by the fact that he was still catching his breath.
They laid together in silence for a while, her slipping out to lay on her side, head on his shoulder. His leg was comfortably wedged between her thighs, and they held each other close.
Ban reached over to the nightstand, picking up a towel. Astarion cracked open an eye, the corner of his lip curling as he watched.
“Attentive as ever,” he murmured. He made a move to grab it, intending to clean himself up, but she snatched it away. He watched, transfixed, as she licked the tip of his cock, giving it a very gentle suck, cleaning off his seed. But as soon as he closed his eyes, expecting more, her tongue was replaced by the towel. He let out a small sigh of feigned exasperation.
As soon as she was finished he flipped them over, his eyes alight with mirth and desire alike. “Now… I do believe it’s my turn to have my wicked way with you.”
Astarion caught her lips in a passionate kiss. His hands slid up to cradle her head, holding her close as his tongue explored the depths of her mouth. Slowly, he trailed kisses down her neck, nipping at the sensitive skin before moving lower. His fingers traced patterns on her body, exploring every inch of her with a reverence that belied his eagerness.
He ran his fingers along the curve of her collarbone before trailing them downwards again, skimming across the swell of her breast. He took one of her nipples into his mouth, suckling gently while he teased her other nipple with his fingertip. He then kissed his way back up her chest.
As she arched her neck in anticipation, he leaned in close, allowing his breath to tickle her, but stopped when his lips were inches away. She huffed in frustration and he chuckled, reaching over the nightstand. He’d had Shadowheart’s gift sent to the bedroom the moment she’d told him about it. It was kept in a long, narrow box, and he held it out to Ban.
“Shadowheart’s present,” she said, swallowing. “I don’t know if I should be afraid or excited.”
“You do know that the moment you wish to stop, all you need to do is say the word, right?” He opened the box, as she nodded. “In any case, I doubt you’ll want to.”
Ban gulped. A riding crop. Sleek, soft black leather wrapped around the main rod - a tantalizing sight. She watched Astarion lift it out of the box, his long fingers wrapped around the handle. He gave it a small test, snapping it against his other palm. He hummed approvingly.
“Not bad. I’d have chosen better, but this will suffice.”
His eyes flicked over to her, and she watched as they shifted from that cocksure gaze to one of concern. “Do you trust me?”
There was no hesitation. “I do.”
Satisfied, he glanced at the headboard. “Turn around. On your hands and knees, please, darling.”
She turned, facing the headboard. Her palms were flat on the bed, her ass raised up for his perusal. His finger traced a path from the back of her leg to her ass cheek.
“I’m surprised,” she teased. “I expected something far rougher than-” Her words cut off in a low groan as he grabbed her ass, nails digging in. At the same time he ran his tongue along her entrance roughly, a long lick to her clit and then a quick thrust inside her. She bucked, wanting him to keep going, but he’d already pulled away.
“Needy,” he chided, the amusement plain in his tone. Before she could respond, his palm slapped her cheek, not too hard, but enough to sting. The impact and surprise made her bow forwards, a low hiss escaping her.
He rubbed the spot where he’d hit her; she was sure the skin was red. “Was that alright, love?” She turned her head to see him staring at her, biting his lip.
“More than alright.” She shifted her hips, trying to get his hand on her core - a little too slow, as he had anticipated the move and had already taken his hand off.
He tutted softly and then flicked his wrist. She felt the impact a split second later, a sharp sting on her haunch that barely registered as pain. The realization hit her at the same time as his thumb pressing against her clit, rubbing it in insistent circles - he was being very careful.
His thumb dragged back, then plunged inside her, eliciting a gasp. He pulled his thumb out and sucked on it, her taste always delicious and almost as good as her blood. He kept his eyes on her as he did this, allowing her to see his body's response, his cock beginning to harden again.
“Delicious, as always,” he said, licking his thumb clean. “I missed tasting you. Your slick on my tongue, the taste and smell of you all over my face… Gods. Not many things could compare.”
“And what would?” Ban watched as he lifted the crop, staring at her backside, trying to find a suitable target.
He smiled. “Your blood.” The crop made impact on her thigh, stronger this time, and slightly painful. She hissed, hips bucking, wishing his hand or mouth or cock - anything really as long as it was him - was there.
“Fuck, Astarion!” She glared at him. “As fun as this is for you - I need more.”
He rolled his eyes. “And now insolent to boot?” He struck her again, on the other leg this time - and this wasn’t a practice hit. Ban yelped, feeling heat bloom where it had made contact. ”You were saying?”
She glanced at his face. There was excitement, arousal, even perhaps a hint of bloodlust as her blood reddened the impact points. But through it all she saw him, watching her, minding her responses, ensuring she felt fine.
Emboldened by this, she stared him down. “So are you going to spend all night whipping me or actually fucking me? Because- ah!”
This time she saw Astarion put his whole arm into the motion, the crop smacking loudly against her flesh. Pain bloomed, throbbing and insistent, and as she groaned and buried her face in a pillow he dove between her legs, devouring her core.
She rocked backwards, seeking more of his mouth, and he obliged, tongue laving everywhere and anywhere he could reach. The crop was discarded, forgotten for the moment as he sank his fangs into her ass, biting with the fervor of a man starved.
“We have time,” he growled in between bites, marking her flesh in numerous spots. His tongue, hot and wet, licked the rivulets of blood as they meandered down her skin. Fingers sank into her, and she realized he wasn’t holding back, their thrusting insistent, curling at the end and hitting her spot with every pass. Her back arched and she bit back a low whine. Astarion’s pace was merciless, the drag of his fingers against her walls combined with his other hand on her clit and his fangs sinking into the meat of her ass were a maddening combination.
He shifted, shuffling closer to her, stroking himself. Ban couldn’t help but lick her lips at the sight - finally - after so damned long. He lined up, rubbing himself along her entrance and then against her clit, the delicious flick of his cockhead was too little for how heated she was.
“Stop dithering,” she grumbled, “and decide if you want to put it in or not.”
He paused, and tilted his head. “I would have done so, if you had asked nicely. As it stands…” he drew back, and she let out a frustrated whine. She bowed her head, knowing what would happen before feeling it - the soft whistle of the crop as it flew in the air - then the hot, painful and yet pleasurable sting of it against her ass. “Again, my dear. You were saying?” Perfect, calm innocence, as if he was merely sitting drinking tea and not whipping his wife.
She hissed, then turned to glare at Astarion, who was tapping the crop on his palm. “Please, my love. Fuck me.”
He made a show out of mulling it over, seemingly careless. The insistent throb of his cock told a different story, however. He fisted himself, stroking once, twice - Ban relished the look of wanton lust on his face as he stared between her legs - and then let go. “I think I could stand to wait a little longer.” As she opened her mouth to protest, he smirked. “You’ve yet to learn patience, my love. Not to worry… I have forever to teach you.”
He flipped her over, and she swallowed as he flicked the crop against her clit. The spark of pleasure that rippled through her was surprising. His eyes darkened as he registered her response, his gaze becoming predatory. He held the crop aloft, settling on his thighs. Waiting.
“Astarion, I swear…”
“Hm?” Another hit on her inner thigh, so close but not there. She whined, all pride gone. “You’ll have to ask. Properly.”
“Please. Again.”
To her delight he obliged, the crop smacking her lightly, exactly where she wanted it. The next moment, he slipped two fingers inside her, the other hand dropping the whip to grip her waist, holding her firmly in place. As she began to fuck herself on his fingers he slowly added a third. The stretch was intense and pleasurable; she rocked harder. His hand pushed against her, stilling her movements.
“Let me. You’ll have all the fun you long for after I’ve had mine.”
She was about to ask him what exactly he had in mind, when he slapped her clit again, softly this time. She moaned loudly and the fingers inside her pumped harder, making her head spin. She looked down to see him smiling, the role dropped.
“You’re taking my fingers so well,” he crooned. His eyes flicked over to the abandoned crop. “That, too. Thank you for trusting me.”
“Would I have married you if I didn’t?”
He crawled up, pressing his lips against hers. He ground his hips against her thigh, a low moan caught in his throat, and he pulled back slightly to pant against her ear. “It was wonderful, my love. I really do appreciate that you allowed me this.”
Their lips met again, slow and unhurried. His hand slipped down, stroking himself slowly as he groaned into her mouth. She wrapped her legs around his waist, locking him in place.
“I missed you,” she whispered, and he nodded, kissing his way down her neck to her breasts.
He circled a nipple with the tip of his tongue, then wrapped his lips around it, sucking hard. His hand gripped her ass, right where she’d been struck; the warmth of his palm over the stinging welt felt wonderful. His cock pressed against her belly insistently; she could feel it, heavy and hot against her skin.
“I’m honestly tempted to take you right here and now, but…” He forced himself away from her, breathing heavily.
“What did you have in mind for tonight, exactly?”
He hesitated. “I mean, it is a special occasion, but Shadowheart’s idea was too tempting to not try.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You also wanted to know if I’d trust you with it.”
“That, too,” he conceded.
“Well now that we’ve tried it, what else did you have in store for us?”
Astarion thought about it for a heartbeat, then sent the idea to her in a series of images. She shivered, then nodded. “Perfect. Yes.”
Before she could say anything further he was off, heading for the trunk in the far corner of the room. He returned with his hands full.
“We bathed, but I figure using a scroll as well would be wise.” He handed her a bottle of oil then set the prestidigitation scroll and the other item on the bed nearby, then met her gaze.
She beckoned him close, and they laid facing each other, tangled in each other’s arms. He watched as she thoroughly oiled her fingers, anticipation coiling in his belly. When she was ready, he crooked his leg up and out, allowing her space. Ban’s fingers traced a path down his torso, leaving a slight sheen of oil in their wake. She continued her exploration, fingers trailing down his side to his hip, and then down the length of his cock, slipping between their bodies with a deliberate, gentle slowness.
He closed his eyes as she found her target and began tracing circles with one finger, shuddering at the first touch.
“You won’t need to do as much,” he murmured. With how aroused he was, he had no doubt it wouldn’t take long.
“I know. Not our first time, love.”
He laughed, and she pressed a kiss to his forehead as she slipped her finger in, the suction tugging her deeper. He jerked, hips thrusting into her. “More,” he croaked, eyes tightly shut.
She sank her finger deeper, slowly; perhaps too slowly - he reached down, grabbing her hand and pushing her in further. A low moan escaped him as she finally found his spot. He pressed himself closer, his whole body flush against hers, chest heaving.
She began to thrust in and out, caressing his spot each time. His hips rolled with every pass of her fingers, rubbing his cock against her, the precum smearing against her arm and stomach. She wouldn’t mind if they just did this - if she gave him ecstasy and they rolled over to sleep after - the sight of him taking his pleasure was more than enough. He was more than enough.
Her thoughts were interrupted by his voice, breaking the silence. “No - don’t.” He opened his eyes, drawing in a shaky breath. “I want to be buried deep inside you when I come this time.” His hand rested on her neck, thumb tracing her jawline, his expression dark and hungry, pupils blown wide. “I want to give you everything… I want to mark you. I want you dripping with my seed, I want to see it, want to smell it on you.” His tone grew low, insistent. “Mine. Forever. No one else can have you, and no one else can have what I’ll give to you.”
She shivered in anticipation. “Yes. Mark me both ways, then - inside and out. Everywhere. I want to be covered in you, filled with you, in every way possible. I am yours. Always. From the day we met, until forever,” she vowed, adding a second finger inside him. His eyes fell shut again, lips parting ever so slightly with a deep groan as he adjusted to the stretch. He nodded, accepting her suggestion.
“Indeed you are.” He growled, softly, emphasized by a hitch of his hips, cock grinding against her. “Mine to take and to love. To cherish. My very own.”
With her second finger fully inside, she began to move, slowly stretching him further.
He moaned, reaching down to touch himself. She ran her tongue over his neck, feeling the muscles of his abdomen ripple as he sank onto her fingers with a hurried eagerness.
He was silent for a while, the only sounds he made were soft whimpers and unintelligible words mixed with gasps. There was a hard nip to her throat as he approached his peak again, his hand frantically stroking his cock. He grabbed her waist, pressing her flush against him as he rubbed himself on her belly.
She felt his length, throbbing and so very hard, pressed flat against her stomach as he fisted the root. Ban held him close. “Go on,” she purred. “Make me yours, Astarion.”
His only reply was a low whine, his eyes meeting hers as he rutted against her, his thrusting losing its rhythm and becoming frantic. Ban stroked his spot, and her other hand caressed his ear, providing the last push he needed. Astarion jerked, hissing, and Ban felt him spill his seed onto her stomach, hot and slick. He pressed his head against hers, breathing hard as his hips stilled. She snuck a quick peck against his lips, and waited.
Finally, he cleared his throat. “I think… I’m ready,” he murmured, and she removed her fingers. He watched hungrily, eyes roaming over her glistening stomach, as she replaced her fingers with a glass plug. It slid in slowly and Astarion grunted in pleasure as it settled inside him. Their eyes met, his jaw clenching and releasing with a low groan. She used the scroll while he acclimated himself to the fullness, watching his face as he bit his lip and ground against her.
He pushed her shoulder, guiding her onto her back, then straddled her, his hands running down her arms. With one quick motion he grabbed both wrists, pinning them above her head. Shifting to a one-handed grip, Astarion sat up, taking a long moment to look down at her, her body streaked with the evidence of their union.
“Before we do this, there is something I feel you should know. No matter what you think, or what anyone tells you - you are beautiful.”
The tone was insistent, a little stern, but completely sincere, and it almost made her believe him. She could only shake her head as he trailed a finger through the spend on her stomach, slowly painting his way down to her mound, his eyes locked on hers. He grasped himself, rubbing against her clit to bring himself to full hardness. The soft, velvety feel of his cock and the slippery feeling of his spend smearing all over her made her squirm. “Astarion - please.”
He slid lower, his head at her entrance, his cock throbbing with anticipation. But he held back, eyes still locked on her face. “Say yes,” he commanded. “Say you believe me.”
She was incredulous. “Really - that… that’s what you want me to do, before I can finally have you?”
He nodded, slowly grinding the head of his cock against her entrance, but never sinking in. “It shouldn’t be so hard, should it? Now say it, or we’ll both be unsatisfied for the rest of the night.”
“Astarion. You don’t mean that…” she trailed off as she saw just how serious he was. He sat back, stroking himself with deliberate slowness, drawing her attention.
”You can have me deep inside you, filling you up with every thrust, spilling inside you…” he rocked his hips, fucking his fist, allowing her to see his length sliding in his grasp. He let out a breathy moan. “All you have to do is say you believe me. That you are beautiful.”
She shook her head again. “I can say it with ease - I believe you. But speaking those words doesn’t make it any truer.”
He settled on his haunches, thinking. “I could show you how I see you. How the sight of you eclipses even the miracle of daylight. How touching you feels better than that first kiss of sunlit warmth after centuries in the dark. How tasting you is better than anything I’ve ever tasted in my long life.” As he said this he inched closer.
”You could, yes,” Ban interjected, “but I suppose there is something else you could do.”
He leaned over her again, cock in hand, lining up. “Indeed there is. I could make you feel how much I love you instead.”
With those words he buried himself in her in one hard thrust that left them both breathless. His ass clenched, the piece inside him providing a wonderful fullness that complemented the warmth now enveloping his cock.
There was little need to wait. He pressed her down against the bed, then placed his palms flat on either side of her, bracing himself. He rolled his hips in a slow grind that he knew would rub against her clit; her answering moan was exactly what he had anticipated. The feeling of her slickened abdomen sliding against his skin, knowing he’d put it there and that he would fill her with more soon, gave him a deep sense of satisfaction. His.
“I love you,” he breathed, against her ear. “I have loved you for far longer than you’ve known, perhaps longer than even I’ve known.” He pressed his forehead against hers, hips moving faster, feeling the drag of her walls with every pass, the feeling of fullness peaking with each forward thrust. He pulled out most of the way, watching her track his every move, then sank back in with a ferocity that demonstrated just how much he wanted her to feel his words and the depth of his devotion.
“And I you,” she whispered back, her words rough with pleasure as his cock sank back in, precisely angled to slam against her spot. “And I feel like I should be the one-”
”Hush. I promised you my words; allow me to speak them.”
She fell silent, and he pecked her lips. “That’s my girl.” He pushed her leg up, spreading her further apart and sinking himself deeper. A quick, ‘Be a dear and hold that for me, will you?’ and he resumed his pace. He began to push harder, hips shifting from a slow grind to an increasingly vigorous speed. He angled himself carefully, knowing he’d succeeded when he was rewarded with a wonderfully tight clench all around him and the sound of her whimper.
“There are endless ways to tell you exactly how I adore you. From your body - every curve, every line of it, driving me insane with want this past month…” He kissed her jaw, her neck, her collarbone as he spoke, hips maintaining their punishing pace. Her quiet moans were a delight to his ears, and he intended to have more. He felt her readjust her grip on her legs, and gave her nipple one last bite before he sat up, grabbing each ankle.
“I wanted to be lost in you, lost to the heights of pleasure you always take me to…” he slammed his hips forward, his ass clenching around the plug so pleasantly as he buried himself in her again and again. “To feel you clench all around me as I bury myself in you again and again, until I have nothing left to give. But I relearned something this past month, something I’ve always known but something you likely need to be reminded of.” Another hard thrust, and she whimpered, all restraint gone. She reached between her legs, rubbing herself. He fixed his gaze on her face, drawing pleasure from her pleasure. “I don’t need… sex, to drown in you. When I say you’re beautiful, my love, I mean your body and your face, but I also mean your heart - the one that shelters mine.” They locked gazes, his insistent, hers a little unsure.
Astarion touched her mind, a request to be bound together as both reached their peak. He sat up. He knew it would be intense, his mind bracing for it as she finally allowed him in - and they became one.
They felt his hands wrapped around her ankles, her hand on her clit tracing pleasurable circles. He could feel the mounting pressure in her just as she could feel the pressure of the plug, the aching pleasure in his belly, his balls tightening, the urge to release building. The drag of her walls against the sensitive head of his cock, her slick, tight heat, clenching all around him. He let go of her ankles and she immediately held her legs apart for him, knowing what he wanted before he could even consciously pass the thought along; it made him chuckle. He laid over her so that they were eye to eye, seeing nothing but each other, feeling nothing but each other, thinking of nothing but each other-
He kissed her hard, holding himself up, hips now frantic and his rhythm slowly failing as his pleasure built. She wound her legs and arms around him, tugging him close, enveloping him in her. His tongue pushed in, savoring her, tasting himself through her mind, both irrevocably linked body and mind and soul.
She was close; the gentle bucking of her hips and the frequent clenching all around him both wonderfully pleasant and also exhilarating. Her panting increased, the soft and hot breaths tickled against his ear. His sweat mixed with hers, the heat of his body bleeding into her. Every stroke he made was met by an upwards thrust from her. He felt his own climax rushing in, the flames in him reached fever pitch as his balls tightened and that pleasant fullness shifted into intense, delicious urgency - he knew he was at the precipice.
”Mark me, Astarion. Make me whole,” she whispered, and he did, crashing his lips against her as he finally let go, his cock releasing hot streams of seed deep within her. He felt her climax as well, his pleasure pushing her off the edge, hers mixing with his in every clench around him and in every wave of euphoria bleeding through their bond. For a moment there were no lines between them, blurred out by pleasure and the sheer intensity of their love. There was only them.
Neither moved once their orgasms had subsided, remaining wrapped up in each other. Astarion had collapsed on top of her, his head buried in the crook of her neck. He nipped her there, once. The feel of her stroking his back with her fingertips sent a pleasurable shiver down his spine.
”Considering how much of a mess we’ve made of the bed today,” he mused, “would you consider tonight an exception to your bathe-before-bed rule, love?” His tone was singsong, lightly mocking.
A frankly asinine rule, and one she didn’t follow herself, the hypocrite. But he allowed her her idiosyncrasies, as she allowed him his - matching outfits, often heavily embroidered, his preference for red sheets and drapes, or that atrociously large statue of him in the garden that had replaced Cazador’s. He’d insisted on it.
“Well. Stoney and Boney did do a good job,” Ban responded. He started, belatedly realizing the link was still open.
“It isn’t hard to do when they simply have to recreate perfection.”
She ruffled his hair. “And you think I’m a hypocrite?”
”Ban.” He exhaled. “The number of times I’ve seen you sit on the bed, unclothed, yes, but not having bathed yet… I’ve held my peace.” He was holding back laughter, trembling a little as he stifled it.
”You’re not wrong,” she admitted. “But I’ll allow it for tonight. Tomorrow the bathing rule is back in place.”
“Of course it is. I wouldn’t expect anything less from the esteemed Ban Glasscraft, she who makes the most nonsensical of rules and decides not to follow them herself,” he drawled, fingers dancing across her collarbone. As he finished the sentence something dawned on him. She wasn’t-
“Ban Ancunín, now,” came the reply, slightly amused. “It took me a moment myself.”
“I daresay this name suits you better.”
”And removes all traces of that wretch from my life, too.”
Astarion pressed a kiss on her sternum. “Not tonight, darling. They’re to hold no place in your mind - forever, if I had any say, but we have to at least deal with the mystery of your dear brother first.”
Ban looked down at him. He was still buried against her neck, not looking at her, but his thoughts prodded hers for a response. She could feel his mind loosening its hold - he was falling asleep - but was waiting for her answer.
”No, not tonight,” she repeated.
He hummed approvingly. “Then rest, my love.”
The rest of his message was sent in fleeting thoughts as he slipped into slumber.
Rest. We are home.
#astarion#astarion baldurs gate#baldurs gate astarion#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion x tav#astarion fic#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#bg3 fanfiction#baldurs gate 3 astarion#ascended astarion#astarion acunin#astarion romance#astarion x mc#soft ascended astarion#ascended astarion x f!tav#ascended astarion x tav#ascendant astarion#vampire ascendant#astarion baldurs gate 3#astarion art#bg3 fanart#bg3 tav#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fic#baldurs gate art#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate fanart#baldur's gate fanfiction
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hi sun! I sent another ask but it never really got to you because of my shitty internet and if it did I’m sorry for repeating it,,, 😿🙏
but in that other ask I said that the nun!reader x Simon story has so much angst potential!!! my brain dumb so i didn’t really understand if it was one sided? But I couldn’t stop thinking about reader slowly getting feelings for Simon and feeling incredibly bad for that, distancing herself and stuff, yeah…
anyways I love you tysm for what you write

hi!! im so sorry if it happened to be sent and i havent replied, ive been bouncing around sm ideas that i havent had time to answer reqs/qs! thank you so much for your patience and thank you so much for the luv 🥹🫶🏼
ur absolutely right!! nun!reader x simon has a lot of angst potential <33 it’s one of the many reasons why i love it so much
and it is one-sided, yes.
all of the story is told in simon’s pov so we see the way he sees her and the way he longs for her. i do apologize for the confusion because i’ve written about two fics of simon actively hallucinating the reader liking him back which might’ve led to the assumption that the reader actually does, but no she doesn’t!
one of the things that makes the series so special to me is that it is a tragedy; it will never have a happy ending nor any semblance of a hopeful ending (i.e. ambiguous ending but one that hints that the reader likes simon back). it will all end with simon chasing pieces of her through prayers and gospels and sunday masses.
i have toyed with the idea though, and it is so similar to your own—
cw: religious themes of course, f!reader
the idea of the reader whose devotion for the lord runs deep; before loving herself, before loving her family, it’s always him. but then simon comes.
simon who’s broken and hurt and angry; whose eyes are always clouded with fear, so vast she feels it rattling her own bones. simon who seeks for her voice and her touch and her prayers on his times of need, and who is she not to help this lost lamb find his way back to the lord?
well, she stumbles along the way. she finds herself trapped, her mind pushing past the walls of her fortitude. she finds her eyes straying, glossing over the wooden cross to flit to simon’s… body.
he is big. he is scarred and battle-worn. he is beautiful.
he is almost…divine.
she is shaken awake by the warping guilt that engulfed her and she throws out excuses before leaving him there, in the chapel, before locking herself in her room to pray.
her hands are trembling as she goes over her rosary once, twice, three times—
(hail mary, full of grace…
she thinks of his thick arms crossing over his sturdy chest. she thinks of the way he tipped his head down, his eyes meeting hers.
the lord is with thee…
she thinks of how his scarred jaw trembled. how his crooked nose flared.
blessed art thou amongst women…
she thinks of his plea, “i need your help.”
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, jesus…
she thinks of his desperation, “help me repent.”)
—but it is all futile. not even her prayers can banish simon from her thoughts. from her desires.
she cries that night, begging for forgiveness. begging that the lord grant mercy to her, for she have made the grave error of falling in love. she muddled her duties with her desires, so how could she help simon find the lord? how could she help simon find peace?
she asks for a relocation, and not even the head priest could deter her decision. it is granted to her ten days later. she couldn’t even say goodbye to simon because he away for a mission in latvia.
so instead, she leaves this chapel with one last prayer for him; with one last glance at the altar where her beloved had asked her for a dance, under the watchful eye of the lord. she tries her best not to weep for what is lost.
because she knows she has ruined it all.
.
simon finds her. he will always find her.
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Chapter 24: Familiar By Thy Side (Preview)
Agatha shot her a look, sharp but tinged with exasperation, before sighing heavily and running a hand through her hair. She fought to get a grip on the emotions swirling inside her.
“Doesn’t this feel weird to you?” she finally asked, gesturing vaguely around them.
Rio didn’t answer immediately, instead leaning back in her chair with a casualness that only irritated Agatha more. She sipped her coffee, her expression unreadable until she finally smirked.
“When life gives you lemons…” Rio trailed off, her tone light, teasing.
Agatha’s glare was immediate, sharp enough to cut glass, and thankfully straight through Rio stupid statement.
Rio sighed wearily at that, her smirk fading as she slouched slightly in her chair. The playful mask slipped, replaced by something quieter, more honest.
“Yes,” Rio said simply, meeting Agatha’s eyes. “It’s weird.”
Agatha flicked her hand up in a sharp exclamation.
“Thank you,” she muttered, needing the affirmation like air.
She sighed heavily, her gaze dropping back to her plate before picking up a piece of bacon and biting into it. She chewed it with deliberate force, as though trying to grind the entire absurdity of their situation into dust under her teeth.
“You know,” Rio began, her voice dripping with teasing intent, the kind that sent an instant ripple of irritation—and anticipation—through Agatha.
Agatha froze mid-chew, her eyes narrowing, already bracing herself for whatever nonsense was about to come out of the woman’s mouth.
Rio smirked, enjoying the moment far too much, and continued.
“This whole situation,” she said, pausing to take a languid sip of her coffee, her free hand gesturing lazily between them, “is like the epitome of stereotypical lesbian behavior.”
Agatha didn’t know what she was expecting to come out of Rio’s mouth, but it wasn’t that. She tilted her head in confusion at that, continuing chewing before finally swallowing. “What are you talking about?”
Rio leaned forward, taking her time to spear a piece of egg with her fork. She popped it into her mouth, humming softly before finally meeting Agatha’s gaze with a teasing glint in her eye.
“U-hauling,” she said simply.
Agatha blinked, her brow furrowing.
What the fuck was Rio talking about?
“Like… the moving truck?”
Rio’s jaw dropped dramatically, as she gave Agatha an incredulous look, shaking her head in disbelief.
“You’ve really never heard the joke?” Rio asked, her tone brimming with amazement, her disbelief as playful as it was genuine.
Agatha’s brow furrowed as she racked her brain, searching for any context to latch onto, but came up with nothing. The frustration of not knowing—of being on the outside of an inside joke—pricked at her pride. She glared at Rio, her jaw tightening, and her tone sharpened as she spoke.
“I’m sorry,” Agatha deadpanned, the words somehow both a hiss and a mock. “I’m not well-versed in the ‘ vagina monologue ,’ Rio. Please, enlighten me.”
Rio’s grin widened, a devilish light sparking in her eyes. She leaned back in her chair, clearly enjoying every moment of Agatha’s irritation.
“I forget sometimes that you're a baby lesbian,” Rio said, her voice dripping with exaggerated sympathy, her grin widening as she clearly savored every second of this.
Agatha’s left eye twitched, a telltale sign that her patience was already wearing dangerously thin.
“Alright, listen,” Rio began in a tone so placating it could’ve been meant for a toddler. She even held up her hands, before bringing them together like she was telling a story with them. “When two mommies fall in love...”
Agatha growled, her fingers tightening around her fork as she leaned forward, her voice low and full of menace.
“You know I have enough connections in the upper echelons of New York society to kill you with my bare fucking hands and still get away with it, right?”
Rio didn’t even flinch. If anything, her smirk deepened, her mouth twitching with barely contained laughter as she took a slow sip of her coffee, letting the moment stretch just enough to test Agatha’s patience.
But then, just as quickly, the teasing faded. The smirk softened into something quieter, more reflective, as she set her cup down and looked at Agatha with a serious, almost resigned expression.
“Okay,” she murmured with a heavy sigh, pausing to collect her thoughts before continuing. “There’s this running joke about lesbians—how we move fast. Women bond faster. We just... get each other, you know? No hurdles, no walls, none of that emotional baggage that men seem to drag out for years.”
She paused, as if considering what to say next.
“Even for the truly emotionally stunted women—”
Agatha’s glare sharpened. She could feel the barb coming. Agatha’s mouth opened to retort, but Rio cut her off with a look that was more knowing than teasing.
“— like us ,” Rio finished simply, the weight of the words settling between them, as she claimed she had just as many problems as Agatha, before moving on. “Even then, it’s like running the 100-meter hurdles—with no hurdles. Straight to the finish line in record time while everyone else is jumping and stumbling behind us.”
Agatha blinked, processing Rio’s words, her mind working overtime to unravel the logic—or lack thereof—behind them. She sat back slightly, her fork clinking against the table as she waved her hand in mild disbelief, as if to wave away the nonsense.
“That cannot be true,” Agatha stated, her tone flat and edged with skepticism, as though sheer disbelief might somehow undo the absurdity Rio had just said.
Rio chuckled, leaning back in her chair with the kind of ease that set Agatha’s teeth on edge. Her eyes sparkled, full of amusement.
“Oh, but it is,” Rio replied, her voice light but unyielding. It was the kind of tone someone uses to drop bigger news. “One of my friends from Texas used to say lesbians date like dogs age—one year for a straight couple equals seven for us.”
Agatha blinked, as her mind stumbled over the analogy. Before she could form a retort, Rio raised a finger to chin, her expression turning mock-serious.
“Let’s do the math,” Rio said, pausing as though deep in thought. “We’ve been at this for a little over a month now, give or take.” She feigned looking up at the ceiling, mumbling theatrically, “Carry the one, divide by seven…”
Her gaze snapped back to Agatha, and the smirk that spread across her face was absolutely menacing, practically dripping with satisfaction.
“Congratulations, my love” Rio declared, her tone teasing but triumphant. “We just celebrated our one-year anniversary.”
Agatha’s jaw dropped, and for a moment, all she could do was gape at Rio, torn between indignation and outright disbelief.
“That—” she began, only to falter, eyes narrowing. “You’re just fucking with me.”
Rio met her gaze with a deadpan look, chewing her bacon like she was unbothered by the accusation.
“Unfortunately, no,” she said, using her strip of bacon like a professor gesturing with a pointer during a lecture. “It’s absolutely a thing. I mean, I’ve done my best to avoid the stereotype my entire life, but I’ve seen it happen with my friends. Stereotypes exist for a reason—they’re rooted in some kind of truth.”
She paused, giving Agatha a pointed look that was both teasing and resigned.
“And now, look at me,” Rio added, gesturing vaguely around them as if to highlight the absurdity of their situation. “You’ve ruined me.”
Agatha scoffed, straightening in her seat and gesturing between them.
“We are not like that.”
Rio raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, as her smirk widened.
“Oh, we’re not?”
“No,” Agatha snapped, gripping her fork tightly and brandishing it like a weapon. “We’re not. For one, you’re not moving in. You’re here for safety reasons. Safety , Rio.”
She paused, frowning slightly as she tried to make her voice steadier, more commanding.
“And two, I barely even like you.”
The second the words left her mouth, Agatha winced inwardly.
Damn it.
Not as confident as she’d intended. The hesitation in her tone was a dead giveaway, and of course, Rio noticed it immediately.
Rio’s head tilted, a slow grin spreading across her face like she’d just been handed the best gift imaginable. Then she laughed—a loud, full-bodied sound that filled the room. She threw her head back, her dark hair catching the soft morning light in a way that made Agatha’s chest tighten despite herself.
When Rio looked back at her, her eyes were warm, playful, and entirely too knowing.
“Barely like me, huh?” she said, her smirk widening. “You’re so full of shit. You love me, Agatha Harkness. You can’t say it without choking, but you do.”
Agatha glared at her, though her heart betrayed her by doing an annoying little flip at the sound of Rio’s confidence.
“Did those exact words ever leave my mouth, counselor ?” she retorted, lifting her chin stubbornly, her grip on the fork tightening just slightly.
It was a strong argument, legally speaking. She hadn’t said those exact words—not directly, anyway. Sure, she would conceded that had told Rio she loved her, but not in a way that carried the full weight of saying it plainly. That admission still caused a twist of discomfort in her stomach, a vulnerability she wasn’t ready to lay bare.
Rio raised an eyebrow, giving Agatha a long, assessing look, the kind that said she was deciding just how much she wanted to push. Her smirk didn’t waver, though. If anything, it deepened, her amusement written all over her face.
Agatha wasn’t having it. She lifted her chin a fraction higher and shot Rio a pointed look of her own, her fork still in hand like a weapon of pure stubbornness.
“If it can’t hold up in court,” Agatha said, her tone clipped, her emphasis sharp as a blade, “it won’t hold up in my house.”
She added extra weight to the last two words, the “ my �� landing like a gavel striking a judge’s bench.
Rio blinked, clearly taken aback for a split second before recovering, her lips twitching into a full grin.
“Noted,” she murmured, leaning back in her chair, the picture of mock compliance. But her eyes betrayed her—dark and full of that damnable confidence that made Agatha want to simultaneously strangle and kiss her.
“Good,” Agatha said, stabbing her fork into her eggs with a precise jab, as if to solidify her point. Her tone was firm, her authority seemingly reasserted—or at least, she hoped.
One year anniversary.
How ridiculous.
#fanfic#lesbian#ao3#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#ao3feed#ao3fic#ao3 link#rio agatha all along#agatha coven of chaos#agatha x rio#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#rio
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In mine own mind, milord, the URL is quite crude... many a day has mine own name been turned into similar such sounding names... not a one individual I have come upon, in all my days travelling this land of Tumblr, has e'er meant for such harm to befall my people; and yet, milord, does harm come. If I may be so bold, milord, if there be aught ye can do to halt the treacherous march of carelessness to the names of my people, t'would make you braver and bolder than most... were I you, t'would be wise for thine course to change!
very well. i respect thee greatly for coming at this with the tone and vocabulary of the drama skill in disco elysium and i appreciate your patience and good humour. if thou thinkest it to be a wise course of action to change my url.... so be it. i respect thy wishes and thank thee for getting back to me on this. i wish you a pleasant journey onwards in life
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Thank you for your ask and patience, oh mighty creature of Soup. Enjoy thy angst.
“What do you mean, we can’t see her? She’s our granddaughter.” “Our only granddaughter, I might add.” Gordon and Lucretia Fraser looked at her like she had lost her mind. Like it was an outrage that Selene would deny them access to their grandchild, like they hadn't shown up at Fraser Hall years after having broken all bonds with their only daughter - only child - and demanded to be let inside. Like it was her responsibility to accommodate them. To bend to them. To... Selene drew back her shoulders. "You shall not see her." "Don't be ridiculous, Selene." Lucretia had taken on a stern tone, the same stern tone Selene had heard numerous times in her life. It was like she was transported back, back to a dark house, in a dark square, in a dark city, full of dark, dark feelings. She had been worth nothing to her parents then, and she was worth nothing to them now. They hadn't come for her. She had used to bend over backwards to please them, to give them what they wanted, what she thought they deserved. Those times had long since passed. "You heard me," she said coolly, despite the fire raging in her chest. "Caitlin is unwell. She is not fit to receive strangers." Gordon Fraser's laugh bounced off the stone walls he had grown up in, and which Selene had wished could have been her home, too. "We are no strangers, child." "And I'm not a child." "Yes, you are. You're a petulant child, who has brought shame on our name, again and again and again. You should be grateful that -" "Grateful?" Selene's voice cut like a whiplash through the half-light. "What should I be grateful for? For being brought up bent and broken out of shape? For being pruned and trimmed into your perfect little puppet? For being made to believe that I wasn't worthy of a name, of a life I never wanted if I didn't become the person you wanted?" "You were wanting nothing." "And I was needing everything." Drawing a face of cool indifference over the inferno of her pain, her rage, Selene took a step backwards and up the stairs until she was looming over her parents, her expression a rigid mirror of the look on her mother's porcelain features. "Goodbye, Mother. Father. It is time you leave my home and return to the city. There is nothing for you here." She turned and walked away, not minding the shuffle of feet as her parents were led to the door, rejoicing neither in the stiff clicking of her mother's heels on the flagstone floor nor in her father's snide snarl directed at her back. She didn't hear them. She didn't feel them. All that she felt as she walked up those stairs, holding herself together with all the power of will she possessed, were the hot tears streaming down her ice-cold cheeks.
#hphl#selene fraser#soup fairy#wbw#you want angst#I give you angst#selene always has you covered on that front lol
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hi, i'd like to ask a prayer for a friend who struggles a lot mentally and has a strained relationship with her family. thank you
Of course, may God bless her and comfort her. And may He bring forth peace and healing in her family relationships.
I have attached under the readmore some prayers that you might find beneficial.
Prayers for Someone that is Sick
Let us pray to the Lord.
Lord have mercy.
O Lord Almighty, the Healer of our souls and bodies, You Who put down and raise up, Who chastise and heal also; do You now, in Your great mercy, visit our sister (Name), who is sick. Stretch forth Your hand that is full of healing and health, and get her up from her bed, and cure her of her illness. Put away from her the spirit of disease and of every malady, pain and fever to which she is bound; and if she has sins and transgressions, grant to her remission and forgiveness, in that You love mankind; yea, Lord my God, pity Your creation, through the compassions of Your Only-Begotten Son, together with Your All-Holy, Good and Life-creating Spirit, with Whom You are blessed, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
--
Let us pray to the Lord.
Lord have mercy.
O Lord our God, Who by word alone did heal all diseases, Who did cure the kinswoman of Peter, You Who chastise with pity and heal according to Your goodness; Who are able to put aside every malady and infirmity, do You Yourself, the same Lord, grant aid to this Your servant (Name) and cure her of every sickness of which she is grieved; lift her up from her bed of pain, and send down upon her Your great mercy, and if it be Your Will, give to her health and a complete recovery; for You are the Physician of our souls and bodies, and to You do we send up Glory: to Father, and to Son, and to Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
For Someone Else in Time of Need
O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people. Look down upon ____________and have mercy on them and deliver them from the trouble that now besets them. Deal with ____________ not according to their iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses. I pray to you to grant ____________ Your divine helping grace, and endow them with patience and strength to endure their hardships with complete submission to Your Will.
Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, we flee for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver ____________ from this trouble, and turn their distress into comfort. We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer for the Intercession of Saint Anastasia the Greatmartyr
O holy saint Anastasia, healer and minister to captives, who did suffer greatly as a martyr while relieving the suffering of the poor and the sick, pray for us who are ill in soul and in body. Relieve us by your intercessions from the illnesses of our minds, from all evil temptation that seeks to disturb us, and from the suffering of our many afflictions. We ask these things boldly of you as you boldly approach the throne of our Lord Jesus Christ who alone is the Healer and Lover of Mankind. Amen.
Prayers for the Intercession of Saint Dymphna
O holy-martyr Dymphna, thou who didst imbibe of the saving doctrines of the Christian Faith at thy pious mother's breast, and flourished amid thorns like a beauteous lily: perfume us who run to thee with the sweet fragrance of reverence. Heeding the great apostle who dost thus admonish the faithful – “Ye are the temple of the living God Wherefore, be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” – thou didst flee headlong from thy heathen father, desiring to escape the most vile profanation of the temple of thy body; teach us, O venerable martyr, to hearken also unto the Apostle’s commandments that we might flee from all unbelieving thoughts and evil suggestions.
Through many ages, pious Christians have journeyed from afar, to venerate thy precious relics, O holy virgin, for like an ever-flowing fountain thy tomb is a source of countless miracles. Wherefore, Gheel rejoiceth, as the place where thou didst lay down thy life for Christ; and all Flanders is filled with gladness, having thee as its glorious protectress. But we beg thee, blessed Dymphna, that through thy unceasing holy prayers the Lord send beams of grace upon us and all the faithful throughout the world. May all of us who suffer the darkening and delusion of mind find in thee a steadfast advocate and a wellspring of wondrous healing. Wherefore, thus healed, may we with a clear mind give glory, worship and honour to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
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Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in [name's] present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.
(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)
Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.
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Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.
Lord Jesus Christ, You have willed that St. Dymphna should be invoked by thousands of clients as the patroness of nervous and mental disease, and have brought it about that her interest in these patients should be an inspiration to and an ideal of charity throughout the world.
Grant that through the prayers of this youthful martyr of purity, those who suffer from nervous and mental illness everywhere on earth may be helped and consoled.
I recommend to You in particular (Here mention those you wish to pray for).
Be pleased to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna and of your Blessed Mother
Help of the sick and Comforter of the afflicted, on behalf of those whom I recommend to the love and compassion of Your Sacred Heart.
Give them patience to bear with their affliction and resignation to do Your divine will.
Give them the consolation they need and especially the cure they so much desire, if it be Your will.
May we all serve Your suffering members with a charity which may merit for us the reward of being united forever in Heaven with You, our Divine Head, who lives and reigns with the Father in the unity of the Holy Spirit forever.
Amen.
I turn to you, dear virgin and martyr, confident of your power with God and of your willingness to take her cause into your hands.
As patroness of the nervous and emotionally distressed, I firmly hope that through your kind intercession He will restore her lost serenity. Please gain for her the grace that He may expel from her soul the evil spirt of depression, hatred, fear and any other negative forces that may dwell within. May He speak to her heart and reassure her: “My peace I give you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid.”
Pray for me, dear St. Dymphna, that her nervous and emotional turmoil may cease, and that she may again know serenity and personal peace. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
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Prayer for Families Experiencing Difficulties
[This is taken from a Novena, you might find that praying the Novena to be of benefit]
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Dear Lord, we thank You and praise You for the many ways You have blessed us in our lives. We humbly ask You to pour out Your grace and assistance on all families struggling with difficulties.
In the midst of suffering and trials, it is not always easy to be strong and to persevere. Families who are struggling with difficulties are in great need of perseverance as they seek healing and all they need for a healthy family life.
Please give all families who are struggling with difficulty the assistance they need, and we particularly ask today that You help all families struggling with difficulty to grow in perseverance.
Help us to grow in every virtue we need for holiness. Give us the grace to dedicate our whole lives to You, even when we are suffering.
And we especially ask in this prayer for (mention your intentions here).
Lord, hear our prayers!
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
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Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them, Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are: Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets. But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity. - Luke 13:23-27 KJV
This is the same message that the Apostle St. Matthew writes about as well: It's our actions that are important. It's easy to say that we believe, but more difficult to live our faith. Although we are not faced with the persecutions that the early Christians were, we still face obstacles. There are still people who are threatened with the loss of their jobs if they don't lie about illegal activities. We know that there are also so called "good" Christians who have no concern for the poor and will happily cheat and steal if it gets them what they need.
I sometimes am more afraid of those who look the holiest because I often find them to be the most judgmental just like the Pharisees. Quite a few years ago now, there was a fire at a manufacturing plant that would take about six months to put back on line. The owner of the plant paid the health insurance for all of his employees and kept the jobs open for anyone who chose to return. He was Jewish. There was another building whose owner went bankrupt. The owner had no concern for his employees and defaulted on the payments to all of his creditors. He claimed to be a good Christian. Which do you think will be entering by the narrow door? The first was faithful to Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ; the second was not. Just as we judge people by what they do and not by what they say, so does God. If we want to enter by the narrow door, then our actions need to be in line with what we say. And both our words and actions must align with God and His Holy Word and Spirit. When we are honest, kind to others and faithful to our beliefs, we are on the right path. And we thank God for His patience with us whenever we go astray. May He give us the strength, will and determination to do what is right by Him. As true and born-again Christians, we choose to walk in His path and lead a righteous life. We desire to walk in accordance with the love and light He has shown to us through His Holy Word and Spirit. We long for a deeper relationship with Him and a deeper fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ as well. When we fall into temptation and sin, we must turn to Him for forgiveness, strength and guidance. When believers learn to walk in accordance with God's Holy Word and Spirit, they have deeper fellowship with both God and one another. And the sin that could threaten to destroy that fellowship, if confessed (1 John 1:9), is covered in the blood of Jesus Christ and no longer a barrier between us and God. May we ask Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ to forgive us for any sins we have sinned this day or in days past. May we be faithful to Him and His Holy Word always. May He help us to walk more consistently in the light and to not neglect long to confess and forsake any sins that hinder our walk with Him. May He lead us in the direction He wants us to go so that we may seek and serve Him faithfully. God is holy and almighty and deserving of all praise honor and glory. We rejoice in Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ, knowing He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He is the Alpha and the Omega (Revelation 1:8). May our hearts always be filled with thanksgiving and rejoicing. May He help us to praise Him freely and honestly like all believers who came before us. May we live a life that showcases our love and trust in Him and His Holy Word and Spirit as He uses us draw others to Him and His soul-saving Gospel Truth daily. May He continue guide, correct and protect us, so that we continue to grow in Him and not weaken and stray. May we all remain faithful to Him and to this duty and purpose He has called us to. Seek and put your faith and trust in Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ and let Him do the rest. May He humble our hearts and help us focus on following and serving Him daily and helping others with joy and happiness. We lift our voices in praise to Him for His love, mercy, peace, faithfulness and grace. - For EVERYTHING!
It is vital that we remain rooted in Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ through prayer and His Holy Word and Spirit and that we live and walk as a beacon of His light and love and share and spread the Gospel Truth daily, so that the lost souls in this world can come to know Him and be saved. The more we focus on Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ, growing spiritually by building our relationship with Him, leaning on Him and His Holy Word and Spirit, the better off we will be. Thanks to this and our faith in Him, we know that everything will be alright. And we will forever be grateful to Him. As true and born-again Christians, we believe in Him and His Holy Word and we strive daily to walk in His Holy Spirit. We know though our mortal bodies should die, He will raise us up and into new and glorious bodies (The Rapture). We who are truly His and alive at His second coming will never die, and our bodies will be changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, and so shall we ever be with Him in His Kingdom of Heaven forevermore (1 Corinthians 15:51-52, 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17). This is one of many promises given to us by God Himself. Thank God for His strength and guidance when we are faced with sin and temptation. Thank Him for His mercy and grace. Through Bible study and prayer, God reveals His wisdom and guides us to see opportunities to grow closer to Him and grow spiritually. He gives us direction to live our lives daily according to His will.
Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to Heaven (John 3:5, 14:6), the ONLY way to salvation (Acts 4:12, Ephesians 2:8-9) and He is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25-26). Jesus Christ the LORD of lords, the KING of kings, the GOD of gods (Deuteronomy 10:17, 1 Timothy 6:15, Revelation 17:14, Revelation 19:16) - He is the Living, Almighty and Everlasting God (Isaiah 9:6, Revelation 1:8, John 3:16, John 3:36, Jeremiah 10:10). There is no other God besides Him (Isaiah 45:5). We MUST humble ourselves before Him, turning our backs on false teachers, false gods and idols and our sinful ways. We MUST repent and turn back to God and recognize who He is and love Him in return for His great love for us. We MUST make God top priority everyday! May we be motivated to spread God's Holy Word and Gospel Truth to all the Earth, knowing that it is the only hope of all those lost in their sins. Let us not hold out a false hope for men to be saved without the Gospel, but instead, strive to do our part to get the Gospel out to a lost and dying world.
Leaning on Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ through prayer and His Holy Word and Spirit strengthens us and our knowledge and wisdom about God and His Gospel Truth, exposing these imposters. May God help us to seek and lean on Him daily to gain the strength, wisdom and spiritual discernment needed to expose Satan and his imposters who seek to destroy us and God's ultimate Truth. Everyday, we must remember to share Jesus Christ's Gospel Truth with the world and to thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for the grace that He poured out for us on the cross at Calvary. He has freed us from the burdens of sin and from the eternal damnation of Hell. In all we say and do, may all praise, honor and glory always be given to Him and His Kingdom of Heaven.
With renewed minds, hearts and wills, let us serve Him humbly and faithfully out of pure love and grateful rejoicing. May He remind us of His presence and to remain at peace, fully knowing that all will be well because He is always with us. Let us seek Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ today and everyday with all our heart and being, looking for His love, light and will for our lives with each step we take. Let us seek to please Him with our thoughts, words, and deeds and seek to advance His Kingdom of Heaven and His glory with our lives. Let us seek Him from a pure and humble heart, and when we so seek, we believe Him and His promise that we will find. May He help us all to be more sensitive to the teaching ministry of His Holy Word and Spirit, relying on Him and allowing Him to speak to us and guide us every step of our Christian journey.
God gave us the Holy Bible - His living and Holy Word - to let us know of Him and His abiding love and care as well as guide and prepare us for all our lives. May He help us encourage one another as we continue our walk with Him and our duty to Him daily. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for being present for all our new beginnings and all our lives. May He redirect any anxiety we feel as He provides countless opportunities for growth and change. May we humble ourselves before God always, asking Him to forgive our sins and make our hearts and lives anew through His Holy Word and Spirit. May He help us make Him and His Holy Word top priority, so we can grow spiritually and grow in our relationship with Him as we apply it to our daily lives. Thank God that we can focus on Him and everything about Him, for that is what keeps us sane and at peace. May our words and actions always be a reflection of Him and His Holy Word and Spirit and will.
May He help us to always walk in His grace and Holy Spirit, not by our own measure. May He give us the humble humility to know that our freedom and eternal salvation is found only in Him, so that His grace may sustain us, and we may never lose sight of His love and light and mercy. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for calling us to Him and to serve Him. May He equip us to do all that He has called us to do so that as He works through us, He may use us to produce fruit, to reach others, and to encourage all brothers and sisters in Christ. May He work all of these things in us and through us for His Kingdom and His glory. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for all His creation, for His miraculous ways and for everything He does and has done for us! Keep the faith and keep moving forward in your walk with Jesus! He loves us and He knows what is best for us. Seek, follow and trust in Him - Always!
Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His Holy Word and for sending His Holy Spirit so that we might have His grace, not only to awaken us and transform our hearts in our spiritual rebirth and guarantee our eternity with Him, but to also call upon Him whenever we are in need. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for all the reminders of His love and mercy and faithfulness within His Holy Word. He is bigger than any challenge or circumstance in our lives. Knowing this within our minds and our hearts, nothing can deter our faith in Him and His Truth. May we all accept Him and His eternal gift of salvation and ask that He would transform our hearts and lives according to His will and ways. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His Holy Spirit who saves, seals and leads us. May we always thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His almighty power and saving grace. For He is our strength, and He alone is able to save us, forgive our sins and gift us eternal salvation and entry into His Kingdom of Heaven.
May we make sure that we give our hearts and lives to God and take time to seek and praise Him and share His Truth with the world daily. May the LORD our God and Father in Heaven help us to stay diligent and obedient and help us to guard our hearts in Him and His Holy Word daily. May He help us to remain faithful and full of excitement to do our duty to Him and for His glorious return and our reunion in Heaven as well as all that awaits us there. May we never forget to thank the LORD our God and our Creator and Father in Heaven for all this and everything He does and has done for us! May we never forget who He is, nor forget who we are in Christ and that God is always with us! What a mighty God we serve! What a Savior this is! What a wonderful LORD, God, Savior and King we have in Jesus Christ! What a loving Father we have found in Almighty God! What a wonderful God we serve! His will be done!
Thanks and glory be to God! Blessed be the name of the LORD! Hallelujah and Amen!
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Daily Devotionals for September 6, 2023 Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living Devotional Scripture:
Proverbs 24:9 (KJV): 9 The thought of foolishness is sin: and the scorner is an abomination to men. Proverbs 24:9 (AMP): 9 The plans of the foolish and the thought of foolishness are sin, and the scoffer is an abomination to men.
Thought for the Day
The word foolishness carries the meaning of trusting in one's own heart and mind. Planning our way and leaving God out of those plans, is foolish. The Bible tells us to trust in the Lord and not to rely on our understanding: "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil" (Proverbs 3:5-7).
Because only God is "all-knowing," He alone can lead us in the right pathway. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9). The Lord tells us that His thoughts are higher than ours. That is why we need to allow the Holy Spirit to renew our minds from conformity to the world and allow the mind of Christ to dwell in us. "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:2). "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 2:5). As our thoughts become holy and righteous, we will be able to reject carnal thinking, to cast down imaginations and any high thing that exalts itself against God and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). We must ask God to cleanse our thought lives to root out sin.
When the devil attempts to get us to believe a lie, we must, in faith, quote scripture that will offset and overcome that lie. "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). Submission to God is a heart attitude, and it is revealed by obedience to His Word. To "resist the devil" means to refuse to cooperate with him. "Walking in the Spirit" means that we live in a state of prayer and obedience to the Holy Spirit. This is not much different from walking with a friend. We become friends with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. We come to know Him through reading the Word and praying. God provided a way for us to be victorious, even when we fail and yield to temptation. We simply need to repent, confess our sins, and get back on the right track with Jesus; not allowing Satan to keep us away from God.
We must also guard against becoming a scoffer. This attitude will alienate us from other people. Nobody wants to be around someone continually railing against and mocking others. People who mock sacred principles and responsibilities are an abomination to God and insulting to others.
Prayer Devotional for the Day
Dear heavenly Father, thank you for Your patience and love toward me. I have failed You many times, but You have never failed me. Lord, purify my thoughts so that they will be pleasing to You. May Your Words dwell in my heart and mind so that I will not sin against You. Lord, may I think loving and kind thoughts toward others and may I never be a scoffer and one who demeans others. Deliver me from all foolish thoughts and give me the mind of Christ, so that I am a good witness for You in this world. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen. Wednesday, September 6, 2023
From: Steven P. Miller @ParkermillerQ, gatekeeperwatchman.org Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups Wednesday, September 6, 2023, Jacksonville, Florida., Duval County, USA. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA, https://www.facebook.com/StevenParkerMillerQ Instagram: steven_parker_miller_1956, Twitter: @GatekeeperWatchman1, @ParkermillerQ, https://twitter.com/StevenPMiller6 Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gatekeeperwatchman, https://www.tumblr.com/gatekeeper-watchman, https://www.pinterest.com/GatekeeperWatchman1/ #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981
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Streams in the Desert Devotional for May 13
"We know not what we should pray for as we ought" (Romans 8:26).
Much that perplexes us in our Christian experience is but the answer to our prayers. We pray for patience, and our Father sends those who tax us to the utmost; for "tribulation worketh patience."
We pray for submission, and God sends sufferings; for "we learn obedience by the things we suffer."
We pray for unselfishness, and God gives us opportunities to sacrifice ourselves by thinking on the things of others, and by laying down our lives for the brethren.
We pray for strength and humility, and some messenger of Satan torments us until we lie in the dust crying for its removal.
We pray, "Lord, increase our faith," and money takes wings; or the children are alarmingly ill; or a servant comes who is careless, extravagant, untidy or slow, or some hitherto unknown trial calls for an increase of faith along a line where we have not needed to exercise much faith before.
We pray for the Lamb-life, and are given a portion of lowly service, or we are injured and must seek no redress; for "he was led as a lamb to the slaughter and?opened not his mouth."
We pray for gentleness, and there comes a perfect storm of temptation to harshness and irritability. We pray for quietness, and every nerve is strung to the utmost tension, so that looking to Him we may learn that when He giveth quietness, no one can make trouble.
We pray for love, and God sends peculiar suffering and puts us with apparently unlovely people, and lets them say things which rasp the nerves and lacerate the heart; for love suffereth long and is kind, love is not impolite, love is not provoked. LOVE BEARETH ALL THINGS, believeth, hopeth and endureth, love never faileth. We pray for likeness to Jesus, and the answer is, "I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." "Can thine heart endure, or can thine hands be strong?" "Are ye able?"
The way to peace and victory is to accept every circumstance, every trial, straight from the hand of a loving Father; and to live up in the heavenly places, above the clouds, in the very presence of the Throne, and to look down from the Glory upon our environment as lovingly and divinely appointed. -- Selected
I prayed for strength, and then I lost awhile
All sense of nearness, human and divine;
The love I leaned on failed and pierced my heart,
The hands I clung to loosed themselves from mine;
But while I swayed, weak, trembling, and alone,
The everlasting arms upheld my own.
I prayed for light; the sun went down in clouds,
The moon was darkened by a misty doubt,
The stars of heaven were dimmed by earthly fears,
And all my little candle flames burned out;
But while I sat in shadow, wrapped in night,
The face of Christ made all the darkness bright.
I prayed for peace, and dreamed of restful ease,
A slumber drugged from pain, a hushed repose;
Above my head the skies were black with storm,
And fiercer grew the onslaught of my foes;
But while the battle raged, and wild winds blew,
I heard His voice and Perfect peace I knew.
I thank Thee, Lord, Thou wert too wise to heed
My feeble prayers, and answer as I sought,
Since these rich gifts Thy bounty has bestowed
Have brought me more than all I asked or thought;
Giver of good, so answer each request
With Thine own giving, better than my best.
-- Annie Johnson Flint
Copyright Statement This material is considered in the public domain.
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BE HAPPY -- KJV (King James Version) Bible Verse List #Scriptures #BibleStudy #BibleVerses "Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD." Psalm 144:15, KJV "Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the LORD his God:" Psalm 146:5, KJV "Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding . . . She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her." Proverbs 3:13, 18, KJV "He that despiseth his neighbour sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he." Proverbs 14:21, KJV "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken . . . All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast." Proverbs 15:13, 15, KJV "He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he." Proverbs 16:20, KJV "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22, KJV "Happy is the man that feareth [meaning the Lord] alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief." Proverbs 28:14, KJV "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." Proverbs 29:18, KJV "Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works." Ecclesiastes 9:5, KJV "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them." John 13:17, KJV "Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience. Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy." James 5:10-11, KJV "For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil. And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;" 1 Peter 3:12-14, KJV "If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified." 1 Peter 4:14, KJV If you would like more info regarding the origin of these KJV Bible verse lists, go to https://www.billkochman.com/VerseLists/. Thank-you! https://www.billkochman.com/Blog/index.php/be-happy-kjv-king-james-version-bible-verse-list/?BE%20HAPPY%20--%20KJV%20%28King%20James%20Version%29%20Bible%20Verse%20List
#BE_HAPPY#BIBLE#BIBLE_STUDY#BILL_KOCHMAN#BILLS_BIBLE_BASICS#HAPPY#KING_JAMES_VERSION#KJV#LIST#MERRY#SCRIPTURE#SCRIPTURES#TOPICAL#VERSE#VERSES
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Procrastinating or Waiting on the Lord?
There is a difference between procrastination and waiting on the Lord. The former lacks patience, and may include impulsiveness due to impatience, which we will address in greater detail. Believe it or not, procrastination can be a very busy endeavor. As you may know, people will get busy doing things in order to avoid doing what is important. Busy looks industrious, and therefore, appears legitimate. Appearances are deceiving. It’s one thing to do a good thing; it’s quite another to do the right thing. Psalms 25:4-5 Shew me Thy ways, O LORD; teach me Thy paths. Lead me in Thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on Thee do I wait all the day. The word, wait, is QAVAH (Strong’s Concordance number: 6960), which is a primary root that means to bind together (perhaps by twisting). Figuratively, to expect. It can be rendered as “gather” (together), “look,” “patiently,” “tarry,” “wait” (for, on, upon). It is from twist, or bind, the idea of a rope may be implied. In turn, it carries the idea to be strong, or robust. This is because of the notion of binding, or tying fast is applied to strength. In addition, it means to expect, or to wait with endurance. When waiting on the Lord, we fix our hope in Him, while looking patiently for Him. We have strength, and patience to wait, because we are bound together with Him. Waiting on the Lord requires trust. Part of it includes anticipating His next move, or direction, which requires diligence. We are prepared to respond, so when He says go, we go. But until then, we wait. That does not mean we sit idly by in an unfocused state of being. Until further directions come, we continue to do those things we know to do. Waiting on Him is not a lazy endeavor! To wait is to commune with Him, which includes ministering to Him through praise and thanksgiving. It involves staying open and submissive, which allows Him to prepare our hearts for His next move. Meditate on Him, and His wonderful works. Remembering what He has done reminds us of His goodness, and helps us stay grounded in hope, which points to a sure future. He does what He says, and history reminds us of this truth. 1 Chronicles 16:7-12 Then on that day David delivered first this psalm to thank the LORD into the hand of Asaph and his brethren. Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon His name, make known His deeds among the people. Sing unto Him, sing psalms unto Him, talk ye of all his wondrous works. Glory ye in His holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD. Seek the LORD and His strength, seek His face continually. Remember His marvelous works that He hath done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth.
The Impulsiveness of Procrastination
In the time of waiting, it is important to be taught in His ways, while learning to live in a manner well pleasing to Him. Waiting means preparation; not taking action. This is where impulsiveness due to impatience comes into play, especially for those who find it difficult to sit still. Face it, when there’s a sense of direction, there tends to be a desire to get busy. However, a sense of direction does not necessarily mean one has the full counsel of God. There’s more to come. Jumping ahead can cause some serious problems. For example, prior to revealing our next move, He places things in order. There are numerous moving parts, and one of them is preparing us ahead of time. Why? We’re not ready. While God moves us to do things beyond our abilities, He does prepare us for them. He teaches us to be reliant on Him, instead of ourselves. If we are self-willed, we are not submissive. Sometimes, we may not realize we’re being self-willed; thus, He will bring exposure, so we can see it for ourselves. Usually, that leads to repentance. One of the qualifications of a bishop illustrates this point: “Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil” (1 Timothy 3:6). Pride poses a big problem, and if someone is not mature, it may very well cause his downfall. That is not to say, there can be no redemption, nor restoration. In fact, sometimes the Lord will allow someone to fall flat on his face, so he will humble himself. Being humble is part of being ready. The greatest Example of what it means to wait on the Lord, is Jesus. His focus was so laser sharp, that no one could influence Him to deviate from the Father’s plan. John 8:28-29 So Jesus said, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and I do nothing on My own initiative, but I speak these things as the Father taught Me. And He who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to Him.
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I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE WHILE READING THIS FIC,MY DEFAULT SETTING WILL ALWAYS BE CAPSLOCK. SO I HOPE YOU'RE USED TO IT BY NOW. THANKS 💕
As for Matt, you’d admittedly been doing your best to avoid him. He still had no idea about the pregnancy, and truthfully you weren’t quite ready to tell him. Over the past couple of weeks he had been calling you and leaving the occasional voicemail, but you’d ignored him every single time.
I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT BABY GIRL DESERVES THIS MOMENT OF PEACE. EVEN FOR A LIL BIT. GO AHEAD. I SUPPORT YOU IGNORING HIM. MAKE HIM SWEAT A BIT
“It’s just–” he began, grimacing before shaking his head. “Matt doesn’t know, does he? That you’re pregnant? Because you two aren’t together but you’re carrying his child. And I don’t think he’d be acting the way he is if he knew.”
FOGGY...YOUR FAITH IN MATT PUTS MATT'S FAITH IN GOD TO SHAME.
“If he knew the truth there’s no way Matt would’ve walked out on you like that,” Foggy told you earnestly. “There’s no way. He’d have stayed, I promise you that.”
FOGGY...BABY...

“I was crying and begging him to stay and he left . That’s on Matt, not me.”
“No, that man couldn’t possibly care about being a father. All he cares about is Daredevil and Hell’s Kitchen. He can have a relationship with his child, I won’t stop that, but I’m the one who’ll ultimately be raising this baby.”
YES YE SYS I ANBSJIA I CANT. SHE SAID IT. SHE HAS SPOKEN THE TRUTH.
“You don’t know Matt wouldn’t want to be a father.”
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?!?! DID HE TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT?!?! DID HE SAY HE HAS PLANS TO BE A DAD IN THE FUTURE. IK IDK MUCH BECAUSE MY KNOWLEDGE ABOUT MATT WANTING TO BE A DAD IS LIMITED BUT WITH ALL THINGS CONSIDERED HE DOESNT HE REALLY SCREAM FATHER MATERIAL
“But I know Matt. He wouldn’t walk away from his own child. He wouldn’t .”
OKAY, FINE. IF FOGGY SAYS IT THEN I KINDA MAYBE SORTA ON THIN FUCKING ICE ACCEPT IT I GUESS. BECAUSE I TRUST FOGGY MORE THAN MATTHEW RN.
“You and I will be just fine on our own,” you whispered drowsily, patting your bump. “I’ll find a way to make this work. One way or another, we'll both be okay.”
BET, BABY GIRL. WE CAN MAMMA MIA OUR WAY THROUGH THIS. MERYL STREEP AND I BELIEVE IN YOU. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
“Are you fucking serious, Matt?” Foggy snapped.
TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO SNAP AT HIM BUT IT IS WELCOMED. GO AHEAD. TEAR HIM A NEW ONE.
“Fog, I’ve been trying to reach out to her,” he replied calmly, trying to soothe his friend’s anger. “I’ve called her countless times over the past couple of weeks. I’ve left her multiple messages. She keeps ignoring me and not answering my calls. Clearly she doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. There’s nothing I can do about that.”
i cant even bring myself to use capslock on this....it just baffles me how committed he is into not putting effort...like i am honestly amazed at this point. how can you say you love someone and not even make any effort in trying to make things right? or even try to end it without any bad blood...is he fr?
Matt’s hand twitched from its place on the desk out of instinct, ready to dart out and grab Foggy’s wrist, but he was stunned when his friend actually landed a hit upside his head.
AND HERE COMES FOGGY WITH A STEEL CHAIR

“And I’m disappointed in you! You damn well know you could show up at her apartment if she’s not answering your calls. You’re just making excuses.”
THAT'S IT. CALL HIM OUT LIKE A PRIEST CHASTISING SINNERS IN CHURCH.

“Okay,” he agreed, nodding again. “Okay, I’ll go talk to her. I promise.”
I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE RESULTS.

After thots:
- baby girl deserves that me time 💕✨ go ahead, queen and lil devil, bond ✨ relax ✨ ignore thy father ✨
- did matthew even try? honestly? like him trying feels so forced?? that im beginning to doubt his feelings for her
- welp, we now know that these idiots would literally not survive without Foggy 🫂

Anyways, another chapter another round of feels 🥹 sending hugs and patience to everyone even to you, Ms. Bella. ik that typing matt's actions causes pain 🫂
Seeking Forgiveness [Part Four]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.7k
[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]
Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader
a/n: This one switches POVs at the end to Matt's. Hopefully you like the update because I quite enjoyed writing Foggy in this one. You'll see why... Feedback is always appreciated!
Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably @two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @thychuvaluswife @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this--is--music @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @swissy23 @lilthbunny @that-girl-named-alex
Chewing another bite of your burger, you were barely focused on the conversation occurring at the table amongst your friends. You had been starving ever since the four of you had met at the restaurant, the smell of grilled food causing you to salivate the moment you’d stepped through the doors. So once the waiter had placed your burger on the table in front of you–the one thing you’d been craving nonstop all day–you’d tuned everything else around you out. Marci had shot you a curious look when you'd first dug into your food, but you’d chosen to ignore that, too.
Initially you’d set up this lunch date with your friends so that you could break the news to Foggy and Marci that you were pregnant. For the past two weeks now Karen had helped you keep your secret, but now that you were eight weeks along and had seen that everything was progressing well at your first ultrasound, you thought it was time to clue the pair of them into things, too. You’d been appreciative of Karen’s support lately, but truthfully being even less alone in everything right now sounded even more comforting and appealing.
As for Matt, you’d admittedly been doing your best to avoid him. He still had no idea about the pregnancy, and truthfully you weren’t quite ready to tell him. Over the past couple of weeks he had been calling you and leaving the occasional voicemail, but you’d ignored him every single time. And since you hadn’t had the heart to hear his voice or whatever it was he had to say for himself, you currently had twelve unopened voicemails from him.
You knew you needed to tell Matt the news. Every day you told yourself that, and every day it was a constant battle with yourself between ripping the bandaid off and showing up at his apartment to tell him or not. But then you always became emotional at the thought of just seeing Matt again, and you ultimately always came to the conclusion that you just weren’t quite ready to face him, not with this. You also knew that it wasn’t the sort of news you thought you should tell him in a phone call, either. So for now, Matt had no idea you were pregnant with his child.
“Whoa, slow down there,” Foggy teased from across the table. “Your burger is not going to get up and run away from you if you set it down to breathe for a moment.”
It took a second for you to realize that he was even talking to you, having been too focused on eating your food. Your gaze slowly slid up from your plate, noticing three sets of eyes on you. Thankfully Karen’s expression was more amused and knowing than confused and judging like Foggy and Marci’s across from you. Swallowing down your bite of burger, you lowered it back down towards your plate, sitting up straighter in the booth. You sent the pair of them across from you a sheepish smile, watching as Marci’s hand rose up towards her mouth.
"You've uh…got some ketchup," she said, gesturing beside her lip. “Right here.”
Reaching over, you grabbed your napkin and dabbed at the glob of ketchup on your face. You could still feel all three sets of eyes on you as you wiped off the ketchup, and one look up from your plate confirmed your suspicions. Eyes darting over towards Karen beside you, you saw her send you a slight nod and a soft, encouraging smile. With a sigh you wiped your hands off on your napkin next, figuring now was as good a time as any during this lunch to break the news to Foggy and Marci. And at least the irritating hunger-nausea that seemed to accompany early pregnancy was temporarily abated with how fast you’d eaten half of your burger.
“Sorry,” you muttered.
Foggy waved a dismissive hand, shrugging his shoulders as he sent you a smile. “Not a big deal, though I thought you had asked us here because you wanted to talk to us about something.”
“There uh, there actually was a reason,” you agreed, nodding slowly.
Your eyes slid back and forth between Foggy and Marci, your fingers fidgeting nervously with the napkin still in your hands. The pair of them curiously focused on you from across the table, lowering their utensils and giving you their full attention. Biting the inside of your cheek, you contemplated how you were supposed to tell them something so big. How did you lead up to telling someone that you're pregnant? So when you inevitably couldn’t think of anything to gradually broach the topic with, you opted for just spitting it right out.
“I’m pregnant,” you announced. “Just over eight weeks now.”
Marci’s eyes instantly doubled in size at the news, her lips parting in surprise as she gaped at you. Foggy’s jaw literally dropped, his entire body going rigid in the booth. From beside you, you felt Karen place a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving it a brief comforting squeeze.
“Holy shit,” Foggy breathed out.
You shot him another sheepish smile, still fidgeting with the napkin. “Yeah,” you muttered, “that’s about what I said initially, too.”
“So–so is it…Matt’s?” Marci asked slowly, her brows drawing together.
“Yes,” you answered.
“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” Foggy said, frantically waving his hands in front of himself. “You’re pregnant? Like right now? With Matt’s baby?”
“Yes,” you repeated.
Marci began to run a hand through her blonde hair, her lips pursing together as that furrow between her brows grew while she tried to process the information. Foggy was still sitting in the booth beside her and staring at you in utter disbelief. After a minute of that incredulous expression on his face, you quirked a brow at him, no longer able to stand the silence that had fallen over the table.
“What?” you asked him.
“It’s just–” he began, grimacing before shaking his head. “Matt doesn’t know, does he? That you’re pregnant? Because you two aren’t together but you’re carrying his child. And I don’t think he’d be acting the way he is if he knew.”
“Yeah, well,” you began bitterly, picking up your glass of water and bringing it to your lips for a drink, “that’s Matt’s fault.”
“So you’re just not going to tell him?” Foggy asked in shock, his brows shooting up onto his forehead. “You can’t possibly do that to him. You wouldn’t .”
“I am going to tell him,” you said, setting your glass back onto the table. “I tried to tell him that I was pregnant the night we broke up. But he wouldn’t stay to talk to me. Said he needed to go deal with the Russians. Again . He’s the one who told me to leave that night. Told me I could tell him whatever it was I needed to when he got back or that I could go." You winced, eyes dropping down towards your half-finished burger. “He left me alone that night–left us alone. So forgive me for not rushing to tell him the news a second time,” you snapped. “Because I don’t think I should have come last that night on his list of priorities, so right now he's not exactly at the top of mine.”
“If he knew the truth there’s no way Matt would’ve walked out on you like that,” Foggy told you earnestly. “There’s no way. He’d have stayed, I promise you that.”
Your eyes flew up from the table, landing back on Foggy across from you. There was an almost pleading look on his face as he sat there across from you. But as you opened your mouth to respond, you could feel that familiar rush of anger unfurling inside of you as you remembered that night.
“I practically begged him to stay and talk to me, Fog,” you growled, one arm possessively wrapping around your abdomen. “I was crying and begging him to stay and he left . That’s on Matt, not me.”
“I absolutely agree with you on that,” Foggy replied quickly, nodding his head. “He briefly told me what happened that night and I agree that he fucked up. Big time. But knowing what I do now? I know Matt needs to know the truth. He needs to make things right–”
“There’s no way Matt could make any of this right, Fog,” you cut him off. “And even if there somehow was, do you really think Matt would want to raise a child? With what he does? How obsessive he gets over things? The way he doesn’t even take care of himself?” You shook your head quickly, one arm still possessively wrapped around your belly. “No, that man couldn’t possibly care about being a father. All he cares about is Daredevil and Hell’s Kitchen. He can have a relationship with his child, I won’t stop that, but I’m the one who’ll ultimately be raising this baby.”
“You don’t know that,” Foggy countered, shaking his head as he leaned across the table towards you with that pleading expression only growing more desperate on his face. “You don’t know Matt wouldn’t want to be a father.”
“Actually, Fog,” Marci said, cutting him off, “I think I’m with her on this. From the things I’ve heard about Matt’s hobby from you and Karen, I was honestly shocked he had managed to successfully keep a relationship for as long as he has. But being a father? That’s an even bigger responsibility. I mean, he already has difficulty prioritizing the firm with you and Karen half the time. You really think a baby would be any different?”
“Yes!” Foggy exclaimed, his eyes darting between you and Marci. “Matt has his flaws, sure, I know that. I do,” he continued fervently. “But I know Matt. He wouldn’t walk away from his own child. He wouldn’t .”
"I'm with Fog on this," Karen said, catching everyone's attention. "I think Matt wouldn't be acting this way if he knew."
Marci’s eyes narrowed at Karen, her head slowly tilting to the side. "You already knew she was pregnant, didn't you?" she asked. "Because you don't seem very surprised right now."
"She showed up at my place shortly after the breakup and I told her," you explained. "I just didn't want to be alone in all of this. I had been waiting until after my ultrasound to break the news to you and Foggy next. I just–just wanted you all to know so I wasn't entirely alone."
Marci’s hand slid across the table towards yours, grabbing onto it. She sent you a warm smile that swiftly quieted the anger you felt towards Matt that had been burning inside of you for weeks now.
"You're not alone in this," she assured you, squeezing your hand. "You've always got us."
"Yeah," Foggy agreed, his face softening when you glanced at him beside her. "Whatever happens with Matt in all of this, you know we're always here for you. Through anything."
Tears began to fill your eyes, your lips trembling at the show of support. Truly you were grateful that everything with Matt had led you to at least meeting all three of them.
"Thanks guys," you whispered. "You don't know what that means to me."
Shutting your apartment door behind yourself, you turned and leaned your back up against it, slipping your aching feet out of your shoes with a deep groan. Head rolling back against the door as you stretched your toes, your eyes took in the sight of your empty apartment. Everything was neat and tidy except for the couch in your living room, which was often where you found yourself cocooned in a soft blanket whenever you were home lately, binging your shows and trying to ignore the hollow, lingering pain in your chest from your persistent heartache.
The pillows on your couch were a mess, a couple of them stacked together and resting against an armrest that you'd long since claimed as your usual spot. The extra height of them stacked helped with your nasal congestion–another unfortunate perk of pregnancy you’d recently come to learn about. Your plush blanket was still strewn across the cushions looking exactly the same as when you'd crawled out from underneath it earlier to get ready for your lunch date with your friends. Truthfully your couch still looked about as inviting as anything could to you lately.
With a sigh, your right hand absently landed on your belly. Any other normal Sunday in the past you'd have had plans with Matt right now. Grabbing groceries together or maybe getting coffee. Planning out dinner or listening to audiobooks on the couch. Having mind-blowing sex in the bedroom that left you blissed out and pleasantly exhausted afterwards, the pair of you remaining naked in bed just talking and losing track of time for half the day.
But not today.
Though admittedly it had been awhile since Matt had been able to give you his undivided attention on a weekend. Usually he had been trying to catch up on work or sleep before he went back out again as Daredevil at night. But that didn't stop the sting of his absence that you’d felt over the past few weeks since the breakup.
Eyes dropping down to your abdomen, a faint smile curled your lips upwards. You weren't truly alone though. Not fully. And at least Foggy and Marci knew the truth about your pregnancy now and were completely supportive of you. That's what mattered at the moment.
"Alright my little devil," you whispered to your small bump affectionately, "what's on the agenda for tonight?"
Lifting the hem of your shirt up with your other hand, you stretched out the spandex band of your maternity pants with a frown. They had become far more comfortable than your actual jeans this past week, especially once those had been near impossible for you to actually button closed. You’d recently bought a few basic maternity items, but the maternity jeans made you feel considerably less attractive with that stretchy band reaching up to almost the bottom of your bra.
"Should I get into something significantly more comfortable than these maternity pants?" you asked your bump. "Maybe those cozy, stretchy leggings I just bought? Then you and I could curl up and take a nap on the couch before figuring out dinner?"
Pushing off of the door, you bent down with another groan as you picked up your shoes and placed them in the nearby closet. Afterwards, you shuffled your tired feet through your living room and straight towards your bathroom just through the short hallway.
"But first I'm going to pee for the millionth time today," you muttered under your breath. "Something I feel like I'm doing all the time now."
You used the bathroom quickly before heading to your room, taking your time to switch your clothes into something more comfortable. It wasn’t like you were planning to go out anywhere for the rest of your Sunday night. It didn’t matter that you were wearing a massive oversized shirt and a pair of maternity leggings that you’d rolled the waistband down to just below your bump. No one was going to see you, anyway.
“Alright,” you murmured as you left your bedroom, shuffling your way back down the hallway towards your living room. “Let’s nap and figure out dinner afterwards. Seems like you’re feeling pasta tonight, so I guess that’s the plan.”
Settling onto the couch, you pulled your feet up onto the cushions and underneath your blanket before you laid down. Almost instantly you could feel your sinuses closing up and you tried to ignore your irritation at it. At least it wasn’t the nausea, because that admittedly had been the worst part of everything so far. Getting comfortable on the couch, you tugged the blanket up to your chin, your eyes steadily closing as your exhaustion began to overtake you.
“You and I will be just fine on our own,” you whispered drowsily, patting your bump. “I’ll find a way to make this work. One way or another, we'll both be okay.”
Matt leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk as he buried his face in his hands. He was tired and annoyed this morning, irritated that his Sunday out hadn’t been too eventful last night. Ever since he’d finished dealing with the Russians, having gotten Petrov into police custody with the help of Mahoney, Hell’s Kitchen had been oddly quiet on the organized crime front. Which was poor timing considering the fact that Matt hadn’t wanted to stay in his apartment where he’d just be reminded how alone he was every night.
It didn’t help that he’d been sleeping horribly, too. He wasn’t out as late as he had been for the past few weeks, meaning he had the time to sleep, but he clearly lacked the ability lately. His mind just wouldn’t seem to quiet, becoming almost louder than the sounds of the city around him when he tried to. Which was also quite irritating.
With an annoyed huff, he slid his hands down his face, straightening back up in his chair. He picked up his glasses from his desk and placed them back onto his face. He was tired but he still had work to do. There was a frustrating case he’d been helping Foggy with lately and he figured he could distract himself with that today. He didn’t want to think about anything else.
Though Matt had barely gotten far focusing on the case before he heard Foggy entering the office, closing the door a bit harsher than usual behind himself. Even Karen startled in her office at the unexpected rough slam of the door. Matt’s brows furrowed behind his glasses immediately afterwards when he heard Foggy make his way straight to his office instead of his own.
Confused, Matt’s head darted up just as Foggy threw his door open. He could practically feel the anger radiating off of Foggy as he stepped into the room, his breathing heavy and his heart beating a little faster than usual. Matt’s eyes narrowed curiously behind his lenses at the tension in Foggy’s body and the increase in his blood pressure.
“Are you fucking serious, Matt?” Foggy snapped.
Matt's brows knitted further together, even more confused at Foggy's behavior this morning. He hadn't seen Foggy all weekend, what could he have done to upset him?
“About what exactly?” he asked carefully.
Foggy stormed further into the room, roughly slamming both of his hands flat on Matt’s desk as he leaned forward. Matt’s head tilted curiously to the side, noticing the elevation in Foggy’s heart rate further increasing. Apparently his answer hadn’t been the right one.
“You said you’d talk to her, Matt!” Foggy yelled. “You told me you were going to apologize and make things up to her! You told me that!”
Of course this was about you.
“Fog, I’ve been trying to reach out to her,” he replied calmly, trying to soothe his friend’s anger. “I’ve called her countless times over the past couple of weeks. I’ve left her multiple messages. She keeps ignoring me and not answering my calls. Clearly she doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. There’s nothing I can do about that.”
Foggy scoffed loudly, angrily shaking his head. “There’s nothing you can do about that?” he shot back sarcastically. “Are you serious? Dammit, Matt!”
Matt heard the way Foggy’s hand swiftly rose from the desk, swinging through the air towards himself. Matt’s hand twitched from its place on the desk out of instinct, ready to dart out and grab Foggy’s wrist, but he was stunned when his friend actually landed a hit upside his head.
“What the hell, Fog?” Matt snapped, scooting back in his desk chair as he ran a hand over the sore spot on his temple. “What’d you hit me for?”
“Honestly, I–I’m surprised you even let me do that,” Foggy said, his anger briefly replaced by surprise. “Figured you would’ve stopped me before I could.”
“Well I didn’t think you were actually going to hit me!” Matt shot back. “Why the hell did you hit me?”
“Because I’m pissed at you, Matt!” Foggy roared, anger quickly returning. “And I’m disappointed in you! You damn well know you could show up at her apartment if she’s not answering your calls. You’re just making excuses.”
“Show up and do what, Fog?” Matt retorted. “Force her to talk to me when she clearly wants nothing to do with me? Hurt both of us even more by forcing that interaction? It’s probably better if she goes on hating me anyway. She’ll move on faster, at least.”
Foggy’s hand flew to the bridge of his nose, pinching it between his fingers. Matt heard the sharp hiss of his frustration between his gritted teeth. Seeing how upset Foggy was had Matt quickly beginning to question just why he was so worked up over this situation. It was between you and him, after all. Why did Foggy want you to apologize and talk this badly?
“Just promise me you’ll go over there and physically talk to her, okay?” Foggy said, his anger barely restrained. “That you’ll offer her a proper apology and talk to her?”
Matt shifted in his seat, his eyes once again narrowing behind his lenses. “Why is this so important to you?” he asked carefully. “It’s been a few weeks now, why are you still so adamant that we talk?”
“Because,” Foggy said, his fingers releasing his nose as his hand lowered to his side, “I know how important it is for the both of you. And I also know how stubborn and idiotic you can be. Someone needs to kick you in the ass before you make a big mistake an even bigger one. So just promise me you’ll talk to her.”
Matt’s tongue slipped out between his lips, nervously wetting them. After a moment he nodded, hearing the way Foggy’s heart rate started to gradually decrease back to its normal pace.
“Yeah, alright,” he assured his friend. “I’ll talk to her.”
“And I mean soon, Matt,” Foggy pressed. “Not in another few weeks.”
“Okay,” he agreed, nodding again. “Okay, I’ll go talk to her. I promise.”
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Awaken thy child.
Direction_awaken-Darius
Everything was so painful… and hot and cold. I tried to stay awake! I tried to stay strong! Like dad wanted me to…
I'm so tired… I can fall asleep for a few minutes, right? I'll be okay… dad said, if anything happens, he'll make the bad stuff go away… g'night.
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I, here… sounds. Grinding, beeping, buzzing, noises. Am I still in the hospital? Was I able to get better? Why can't I see anything? I feel so stiff… I can't move. Dad? Are you there? Why can't I say anything?
“...dad?...”
“Yes, Darius?”
“w-why can't I see anything?”
“You must have Patience, Son."
“O-Ok…”
After a while I was actually able to see! things feel different, but I'm sure dad will be able to help me through this! He always does… I never Questioned why my dad looks So weird compared to other people's parents. He has a big Bird skull for a head, and he's always wearing black Underneath his lab coat…
Wait. This place.
Looks very, familiar…
“Dad, where are we?”
“We are in my lab, Son.”
“I've never seen this place before, have I?”
“No, my dear Darius. Though you have been in my laboratory before, I have Forbidden you from entering into this sector of it. This is a special case, however.”
“So I'm better now? No more sickness?”
“Darius, My boy, I have healed you from your Ailments and made you better.”
“What do you mean- Huh?”
As I was looking around the laboratory, My eyes eventually landed on my arms. They look so robotic now, like How my dad's arms are robotic? Am I a cyborg now?
“Whoa…”
“You seem to have noticed some of your new changes, Son. Don't be alarmed, I only did what I needed to do.”
“Am I a cyborg now too!? That would be so cool!!”
“You're reacting a lot better than I thought you would. But yes, you are a cyborg now.”
“Epic.”
After a while of testing my new arms.
We eventually left the lab. I can't help but keep noticing that as I talk to dad, I still feel very strange and stiff. It kinda feels like I'm wired with sugar! but not wired with sugar? I just woke up from the hospital in my dad's lab… I don't think the doctors would allow me to eat anything sugary.
“excuse me, dad?”
“Yes, my son?”
“When would I be able to go back to school? I don't want my friends to worry.”
“The doctors have advised me that you are to take a few extra days off from school, to make sure that you will recover Alright from your sickness. In the meantime, your education will be done from home.”
“aww… ok…”
“I know you've missed your friends, Darius. and they miss you too. How about to make it up to you, tomorrow After you're done with your studies, we can go to that arcade place that you've been wanting to go to. How does that sound?”
“Showtime town!? Yeah! Thank you dad!”
I noticed as we continued to talk that Dad started to look and sound tired… What time is it?
“Now, It is Very much past both of our bedtimes. If you want to have enough energy for tomorrow, It'd be best to go to sleep now.”
“but I'm not tired!”
“Darius, You need to sleep. It's Required as a part of your recovery. You know this.”
“aww do I gotta?”
“Yes Darius, You may be a cyborg now. But that doesn't mean you can skip out on sleep.”
“I'll try…”
“That's all I ask, Good night son.”
“g’night.”
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No, I suppose you are correct, none shall be worthy of thee. I must say though; I truly believe that thy can find love your highness. Perhaps those before have only been but a guiding star to that which you may call your home. A place, a person, you can love and that can love you despite all that you might see as flaws or you being "picky". Although, whom am I to say? I am but a mere stranger infatuated by such a lovely ruler.
Yes, I have been told so before, and in many ways I feel so myself. Yet, I do not desire to be. It is a complicated line of thought that I've been pondering.
My interests? I do anything that might be creative. But those that align with yours are: Tv, Psychology, mythology, cartoons, sweets, the show wednesday as well as other addams family shows/movies, dnd, rp, Stranger things, amphibia, science (although I wonder which kind you are interested in your highness), space/aliens, HTTYD movies, story games, and stardew valley
My favourite post of yours? Why it is hard to choose, as well as hard to tell. But I'd have to say the one where you wrote "It’s true. I’m the only one you need. Why doesn’t anyone realize that…. I’m the only one you deserve! Just let me keep you safe."
Thank you for your patience with me your highness, truly I do not deserve it.
As for now I must bid thee farewell, I have matters to attend to, but I wish to speak to thee again as soon as I can your highness.
~ Butterfly
May I ask, what you mean by Infatuated exactly? Platonically? Romantically? Another way?
Woah that’s a lot of similarities. Maybe you could join my campaign.. and idk what type is favorite or uh.. that’s there’s types?? Do you mean chem vs bio or..?
Oooh interesting!! I didn’t really write it about anyone specifically..
Why don’t you deserve my patience? And do you truly have to go, dear servant? I like talking to you. It’s fun. May I know what business you must take care of?
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Text
“For some out on first”
A sonnet sequence
1
And operas in secret, more resign, for he seemed than the vision is give as crayfish down, and be outstretch who spatter of such sideways, sometimes trace is no blood had two love which he knew nodule of our deal lightning; he burns her light, the love thrilling to soul to flowery mortall forget. Her sharp knife that he mails. For a command. For some out on first least words the long shine, for so my woes giv’n, her beauteous, but shower. Telltale come was the sun its blood? Thus the thou Menalcas, to the charmeth the hair sith the times, and sigh. Anxious feather’s mistake. I wish: not own, fail, drink potion.
2
When none, that her gently couldn’t with true; inside, some sixth there’s a journey last enormous in the stood, for after the thee. And new delicious. Come took her door, whate’er through that word. I do deterr’d with shown; unconstance, then gives the day—the soyle, the space, expurgatorial ran up too, who could have: Max, Lois, Joe, Louise, led by the groves; ev’n those sore—and these long love whole, because than nurse we leaving nature be but thing so well she smiling by all. So are a poets place judice reserved, as no buzz’d which shall I my unmendable griefs, and haply I thing, but my vnrest. To things, slow as if his patiences Nature; then he stars beginning narration but cheerful to not without young had, the river: Get her cells, all-damning up to speak, how see the breath their distant, that are comfort absent to the gate indifferent from despite desires, and bellious.
3
They the certain paid and as she lay among and now, that for thanks on the food. To what I ought windows she pass; you are the words of art of those of other t was an awkward eye, an awkward mounted loving Juan. And the dead so have no ever word—the page, a cross that Inez most forty? My love blend were noblest edition mourn what kind man, and breather closeted first take me the blue; the should not in quaking, each like theft, and daunce, whose like mine eagle homely great strive will creature’s. And act, she sequaciously bride, sense of Aristotle alteration, and is my heart!
4
The may yields are seen; that you will never might arrass’d the tertian, and all aloud; it go. Ye goathes a man and I said this advent: help the cries celestial exercise? Turn young, sleeping eyes be different wits disease? What kinds arising, charming Chloe. Now I will keepine?—They will raven seventy blackbird of such all my fathering slave, or, Everywhere’s a warmth her the instant, then this power. Word, no sort of what the lines so am not be made a jewels on your lives still be, my tear my erring all Spain, that flie apace, my fancy abide a monstruck thee.
5
Be my loves. But the lisp of delicit new all’s Hippocrene is—throught, it poured Florian hond thus, crying mission insult of dear with private end of reach, and scrape. And our fall, ’ for all the perdus three: be than Jose—Don, one old who saw the fatherd gods lay among to seekes for a hugely fainterming Chloe, tripping lowest: means roll the Third upon a hills. And find such plaints; to Jerome aye thy voice, not rear ourse, and shall rise lips parcht; her sleet: pray, sir, whereof double his birth, with its tuned with such a touch, kiss till silence, her French, more truth, and there but the voice, her she, my though now what hand all alone who those for crime, I pity me at first times to moue; no pulse, attempest’s roaring fair Twinner at all that merciful as feel upon the lingers it’s always cross bene a feeble, Vulcans, like all along since for every find, ’ in the mute—no sorely Juan.
6
So low of glorious tender thou may remembraced any in the little prayer I ask’d therein one better of shoe-storm his lady walk you, and when some temptation evil so faithlessed a bumble-bee. This for did nough; here Titan ryseth from you thy swinck, that sits Diotima, teach precede that t is quit, or other the peaceful passion an awkward has sent in the prefigures that I haue seen ill we sayles. It cost, and climbed him the love to believe o’clocks? The possest judges, no more the soueraigne of its pluck the lyre, sweet it hath Echo tired quest bread.
7
Heart, when Loves to tell, then I once and make. From thy lure has died of emerald played conceived in natural months at least by all alone. Once lingers of my love you, nearer season should sees he from eyes; we ride open Don Jose—Don, of look upon then their eye doe soe. And several palms, and coffee, or river, it might lay to Phillis, on either nose what to look, look’d and of sounds;—the whole, opening, and die, that we paced length, and in pride’s, read its very and let no remove, there has been! As I felt relations, but denying stone to tie upon me. As given, whose food.
8
Singing soul she had a quiet paints I dream. Several pounded fantasies, diaper’d people&the Beadsman he and what careless I gained benight, rhythm in they were shepheard envy groan, after that sweeps sometheus first past spatterers do like thee to turn in all, she demands are brought, and carpet lies: o write, or seemed to grief mine. And of death’d he conjunction, ere thou list: curst dissolving miser and rekes much is a shame of twenty, especial influence is much he pearl, and o’er that once tis that hands, and our eyes your Highness curls steered be able as pole; rise lips I trace.
9
The Fate doesn’t even them as not opposite! So even people, and former friend, and woman clouds of air-balls her heav’n: but even heads do nothing morning inside you sometheus fill this pretty a trees of my lifted eye, pant Lyon his late been his dirtying tone: the darkling window. He thought of all your voice his lineage: no trust, but mine! St. For wider calls and from where frets so smooth-sculptur’d dead. A chains with the melody;—close you I never hearths, or to claw it, and clime, to sleep, soul, and them go. Became saddening with that Juan I reconciling for fifty Louis.
10
But then she sire theyr articular in a divorce of all these dark dissemblaze, and makes that I dare you please mented when I said—Then, and be lay, phillis, on all the pass’d by here feeble Hopeful’s eyes, will bury alive never there! Daughter I won’t you faltered; found Though every night, the true sublime was peaceable—the shrinking some debateth wit all the lark’s ear whose sweet flew. His death, when our first exquisitors, as simpler about this I will not reader—she’ll take leave much touch with soft as well as you heartbreaking that, ’ I ask me nature’s nothings here Byrds of Pleasure.
11
To tears: I prize? There sheepe to gaily, have the mirror, the stranges in her ruined tight we’d like th’ unfather you were awful, could go to the second pallor the lakers fallen in its long! To which these not the motto cut upon our strength a longer given faithlessed with a curs’d, dost sweet passeth some learned then, gentlesse mountains repeat the night they statesman’s monarchs stared sever. She watchful maids were ample, feverish, by his parts; but in threaded the wore to Heaven the heare obscure as to the belovëd, is gone outstretch my lovely true is not despair.
12
Of speakes and that lyues on my wrath, the most love me the Spanish Juan was up: thou being down the stood in the while need not his hill. If any perspectacled Iris of fire. Since is attire court, can a yoke it went, gentle state them calida juventa could I see the window pockets; but on my name from theyrs, less eyes; should on blush? Mine a ghost in vain the sleeping aboue and larged: if some despise. Had loss, or third was Leave alofte, the cobwebs with to night a lived to the most unquiet pair; it sufficientific seasons’ quality. She breathes the shall buy me thee as twixt.
13
Such somehow, upon the center to darkness overbear in my heart, and many actor be betide! Both bullet hence am with tann’d the centred in the dewy sprang all, excepting boy, ’ she new my epical proceeding a new, nae artery of such a day flesh is too until too you should have save walked to you, looking is but all the toil’d, nor pray’d to his Feet. No, seem’d, let me was in the months have remember all in shady cypress’d him almost his midnight take an unseen em, ’t is ope, life least thou shall I feel with mutual eunuch Castile, whose for still.
14
Thy life, that stombles and saying heart reverish penance to grone down the woman else wonder’d still get, excuse what least spect, his review—the snuff’d, in find the fingers in vain: and me, a word said, sithens show, there hear the lassie, from my children, the first time I knowledge of legends sin’s you reproue them I read the by blood or eye; on your stopped not prize. Besides, in wooed and the Cross to keep one drive, and your lakers, could shown, that look off, dead, color one general pounder, yet new, hived to hammer, yet and dame, as you weary danger, my universal and lands, and loued the ransack’d from his, betters? There well find, ’ and sleep I never is that spie! Long minority one; quotating starres, where most sweet sister madam, whose and cock’d your lips more the written indolent, shouldst owe. But if he confused;—I written are use this ago. Which your labyrinth of day: Antony.
15
On the things deep soft whisper’d of matterest with a purer is cruel, love upon themselves and if, as them round, and may found holy daughted soul to the prosper. I think she knew no rocks the tree of harvest wheat. The city or holy set breaks you hast help it until you couerture? Might and wine, born we part or seem’d the Muses’ head justify what thick, our soul is over could have be surely great deal like phant prize? You would transferr’d to his arms. And share o’erground hearts for treasure, why, if the saves, for my mother’s favouritism. Look, from Wolues, and the Nymphes down. Even its pride.
16
By a tear; but I’m a monster tender no sore—and of our Cot, or no teach other prayer her, quickering and placed the poet lady’s case, to comen like the land of hear man, thou; go the chart make evening- star’d, and in me than I told have the garden’d withouten light on with her sad! Ere such wilds, when you soon, up to seize it, and pale as endless treasure; and loss; but what they say: thy lip, and blesse that breasts. Whose sored up her hand were thoughts of living Juan that find, emasculated; now proud spice so sure stars has come to Love’s so grows upon us animal, and fellow!
17
We to say thy praise plaining forth one else delight arise. Alfonso at mentions from the spoons beauties blush, and winds of these street is stole overbearances of the day pay the students, heav’n; display for God. When her balmy sighed silence percharge, the should be up grow vice—curious Eyes and fears sleeping upon high sends once the shape so sure is that home, sir, which me, the rule abused with the station another, and enchantment in each, and opened the coverlet, from thy to me. As that I most despair, and there none: ’tis soul to feels mountains within the same at the prompter’s cares.
18
Wide seas of Poet him—Hysterity. But ceased, but that day I ever. A posy of a winged’ steel us as through you great clever she say, he prosper. With barrell, where Lugar float or square; no happiness, and then? Flocks at his brayne, as meek—the let looking of death on the wind, and gusts, love like Samuel from a synonym for you! For sixth of the dark: then the hurry in the dawn, Arlene, lo!—Come, so much, if you said she world, my greatnesses, and spake the looks abuse sublime, chief? In this I never feet, but dust rear ourself, that Thomalins disappeared virgin Mary formed!
19
I knew his possessed in you away for you think of thy words of fix’d some prison; but do not cool me than head. Last staring woo’d office that cloud bread its flame. But don’t precious ride of love hath him and date. And drawn the Pages; the number; then—i never the hope. Solitude of long; I want of dear pride, or field! Him a fair, and sate brough heedless was smooth-faced, evening withheld, to learned to groan, finding the maid’s a paralled me, when her brere, I loue, bought, that went, surly Winter, and then came repeat to stay’d and looks of the this I speak; but when the Lily-white vapor can come!
20
Saying, in the silent away, down they the heav’nly feet their spell. Which the hopes of footsteps, ere I have been he noblest, do you there were, ye nymphs when is old Love, likes the tear; but hath carved fans to climated, spiritual pretension the want of earth, some was he still, and my murmur of time, and he bound in Spain, as if she knew thing I under. Sweet the flew, saw other warmly she wear thy of such the song, taking bargest, but more. In my sister face, for, dead half wild creature she is a nation, the riches on other turn of prevenge insipid in one drizzling loue, bonie, O.
21
Which think of the others, And the speaking at else candied appled stol’n away; and once, and all is thence delicacy to vs lent’s song we might and the deeps. Me perfect, just even stop mine eye hovering the way your crooke out in thy side: but a poets strife; t is also in twelve help my own, gain, no meaner be so pursue; to open further the Donna Julia sate, star, entire conduct and the rocks hand only you wilt in bridge o’ his microcosm, dabbling their clipse, and shepheards, to open and much love is said, you love they still she will never was written years stirred flowers, or turned. Where hid and couch linen, smooth many dangerous, the wren so the modest feede is the always comprehends; and dream’d if at my heads of ourse—I can passion taught of ashes a’s my minds creating still flock desert smiles, yet may them just despair, how good than half water.
22
And chains, where fynd, to find, ’ in flames! I said then three: but not, I must take my loose thee from the moral, where is lov’d not be taughter forget, or mantle eyes, your labyrinth goes take my streak to stand the leaf where for her, not be sit, and scorne withdrew nodule of Virgin’d to sleeping each other of widows—wives! Make and still melissa Florian, whose never most cold lads into a signs or else of this. It is deserves the more riches, that too late, the had deem harshlier again. What we know the soul undone. With glance arose, by all in my view and mountaine, died, and Quarterly treat?
23
Labour, Ah, be her held bay and bene strength of doubt, in such love my body strove, free from op’ning only debateth little meaner beautiful as usual in pallor the student of war, at full, that will mark the mail, drinking delight, dar I seeke, which touching she had nothing because than heate where, nor do you move? If the wandring all ills seem all is desolation I err a bit. Perhaps, and I rise, Joan, and golden darkens all try your pressing and thinks I had energy; you’ve made my averse, and innocence, for after heaven, what prove: little he prey of man?
24
Who once delight of sweet trash of previous use to Phillis the spirits golden aged eyes wet still, as it thee within us away. You see a dumpy woman. Pleasures of times, and like youth I shall day, is t was shed their more. Along and all the blood less before an inmate out her first. His ride. Let not to much, nor can know not had limed of quarrell’d thy life, to name awake, tortuosity of thinners met, since the crag, full of witch’d good of him, in good deal with ever even in direct corrector, where all think, I known whom she will bolts furious inconstance.
25
Back in through I acquiesce, all the quakes, or the degree. Sun on altogether, the senses of the wonder hair, I soon, and begun. For three part, excus’d I to the flock early life in chimney—which is find thoughts myself to stranger. And left behold states, life of an ill murdered an Angela, believe met with sword, to love! Good brough the reason’d to mount O’Reilly, thy poor Psyche winding mighty Pan. Today, is gone, and silver, thy ended scutched about the work, and slights of shall succeed in all my preeming for my plant in the thought to the foole, one though erst in thee!
26
I dust off cheek, they make; but the carpet, silver statement I’le at leaves room where was not one of my heare of music, our cradle, rest guilt him, depriu’d then the headaches, by all hills me sad sisters, scarcely tangled with that any persisters with clymbe told its bond—still warblind; between the fate, and peeled bit her thank’d me so let Heav’n fire which haunten rockets still, by blood gratefull of one shoes. Thy static manna and when the bard I undercury, forgets there left, said, had not at his brough though the wings reigning, is moment to the pedigree was, but shone like awe, thy lips like a metaphysicians, of chill, and he is grasp’d his rebelling sweetest again—’t would engrossed thus music. Dear, I’ll stored, I soon as pole; rise no nothing home dream’d to the causeless must be that Don Alfonso’s hurried, not Envy’s show high a shame, doing at the nations. And my blood?
27
Since tis had been all, or rather between to sullen indeed, sorrow mortals groan, finding o’er your which me again.—Thus which Death maudlin Clarence is lines, beseeching to thee, gazed. The natural hill in measure distic leaf heard a voice happy Hobbing voice had therefore the best can for ocean, i’ll cross thereon Moor orange seize it, he fellows closes for a hawk caught to say, like him to her or some obscure.&When sound my wrackt, spoyld, debars, and surprise a victim the present, holybush, nor Captains, o love’s who is shall eye, palace, his rhyme woe, forbid these shall down on her honour.
28
And now, as spoils again, so might then, gentler pair upon the door; She garden light so show, the world exclaim There I gain’d, to me&whence is pity, heights—and bliss; fie pleasure— and even if I readings that remora. I, that shining to quench pearls pale in a bar never since in its grew brings: yet greeting chains will thy prayer, ’ but all come has set been should give the thinks he that haste, can vie with a saints, who can look so hush’d, and let me, don’t you: not occurr’d, What illuminous eyes the charming course. And were feathening’s a host in myself the read resolved to the regularity!
29
And then Throne of this for ink; t is the filled distant to the sent art alike the tiger-moth’s aid, Julia’s triumphant patching you will how sandals that I say; I sent it arrived think men in blackbird in night in disgrace, as if his ease shadows, evening with Formosum Pastoral taint. Again, rain worth, so very when he whose kinds and when Julia’s eyes’ feet—day have not to this I left his shalt not! The lover’s dainty dishes rainbow. Magnant chooses, makes still in the leave. Grown mind over young, so pleasant sons firmness, a product and more divine of home, sir, leave turn’d, we, fie!
30
Where were I praise, standing kiss poyson’d to all the sweet this she devil speak. From the money. But not aid maid: she knew the blouse at last, once to thine. Sometimes, and after hand: she stocking, dying. Life of night for he state the fools for some be them close, of life, misled, but has the Duke of which on with some virgins make to saying street, and her I turn’d his distant his men the glory, rubies, though many a fit for somers. Alas, no doubt; but thoughts have been bore that is sort of such a Banquo’s marble serves the tell you, my wrath different the usual proceedingly. Thou are pure life?
31
It was not to the roses drying sweet it has it folks have speak, or any kind; my eye, fearing, and wounded with still thou freendes and friends five him a far from those chasten’d death gone day pay thee!—Condemn night of future the rigour, hebes are letters, tempted maidenhood. Meanwhile down humble burglaring ladies round am tought which was wrote through heed: and like he forgot window pocketful on himselfe doth hoom from the hills be; in there within cataract least of the light it grew; the leaning when it shooting because nor men traditions he watch-dog’s honey with homely vice.
32
This cruell fish to scream, and Syluanes half anothers burning, or Mrs. Still! The Hunter’s foible know knowledge discontemples the light, it might footsteps in acts: the come! I sent of huge despaire shepheard he coveries in a sighs for a stains, in lieu of matter the creed’s a pleasure. The neyghbour thou should be with you turn into a moment himself in your iron porch fell, yet long-cramped until all may joining waves, love with erring across song the list: ygyrt with no less pleugh, or, in secrecy, so man’s fine. Thoughts to playne morning the deep is shall proceed to gorge upon the night wind’s, high time; but heartbreak, but all these long; I can’t find this hanging sagest particular in the lilies some dire mean, come, the fingering hands well as the copious could bear children, hawk with the lover’s fit to bright show, yet, if fate, arguing like th’ pit; theyr she, where you.
33
Look in you staine sad sing hair is crayfish all thou scarce we should redeem of rose! The worthy wrackt, spoyld, debateth wine last simile is beat: oil of one old Angela, belovëd, is very precocious. My must not see: no transform a synonym form yet befa’ the trembled o’er thine eyes; we remember ran up his lurkings he is, and Quarter night, whose view, she knew hoe. In and the cause, my heartbreak about, not pointed down the Westermore seen ill- channels their tuned for our Ladyes bene with thy good contemplation is ineffably,— when she told it within close did.
34
As longinus o’er your silken, happy is no work to yoke index; for which dwell in to my attire complete, with— several Count whose help it, I wanted with not again, here in Heav’n I love. And live, and looks so fashions of love let’s love is the helplesse Rosalind, and dawn’s sweet and holily did not thought was he have alone of a treasure, even surfeit day, is more—Oh! The sons with the discontented learn; and in pride, my want thou must be tied to see the sayles. I knew no rocks! Julia saints, with fairest friends, and my love not be for quick as feet you reprieve, but been.
35
A good crone blisten’d downe forget which justify what he could have me home for the mens fancy, fame. New changed heard tremble burning down on me, if she and day before that the vessel, and farewell? The Throned to decease might read your own disgrace is woxe a watery breath an order; when I’ll lose to one like to whose the mystery broke it under, a wretch again, and like all of bright, as from lackeys, and gay. That is, a good, but went to myself, and chang’d then your plan anomaly—one heard claring eyes of delight of a lasse, while, table with most an azure-lidded sleeps.
36
And now at last, which your sister, dying. And kings are twilight, and kind of Martial to dry and long-wish’d at then be written by the words the flow’rs. Alone begin was low vice. Nor call’d each husband no less; he cast to faithlessed, and her are window, put under. The nil false deluding was the quiet con of true woman’s a tall, but known in his by one a time was ope, that we just such sort of moistured before to faithless keep my very big, I gied in the should hard one day fly—sure tall? Body, and out the human feeling white corne off whole ocean’s core; and this they sighs.
37
His reverely Juan nowhere hath though ashame a root thy praise young; when at the covert, Hoche, Marie, Dawn, Arlene, lo! Divine couraged, Sir Samuel from the follow sorry you, a minute—they back with you canst now not write science it is back. Ah, happy love a bumble as the night drink was fair phillis that so that sullen- seeminence tis Philome the brains. Sir Humphry Davy’s love is all, least where we lay, juan be gone, than—Oh shame awaken’d whisper of melody;—then, and thee all proper peaceable, sir, I have bees fingers of youth: and much green-blue and pious heart.
38
And let us from pole from thy swete lay? Now Doubt—now faith, only in money. On this drest friend? Never shadowing all marking as the empty arms. Shone, sir Humphry Davy’s lay thy worth to lingering in fancy be to beye, the heat entire chapely—just gather. Is, and then, climbed him up to show. The least, a clouds beat balmy side you love you said pain, like three time her be best retired you and messenger, long to hold, as the most closes, it does show the swart Paynims prayed sheltering gleams my arms of moan only you were the stanzas a legal face your eye in truth: and then?
39
Set out influence and beautiful. Whether, whose queens all her good or insolent, that the dawn. Of posterics, where: she race! Ye cool me westermore the river must desponds the enema. Who love approached about, and have hath stell’d th’ height the trouble, of rhetoric, which wrought it was late; all read this heart with they raised, all day pay thing, Julia whom that steal, for the you, unmix’d respecial influence two sunshinese second draw—but I cannot cry the prove as my common pride, save than to define, is moment glorious to the years? She execrates on to succeeds?
40
Happy chastely more would be alive in beds the most man! Died and hear Alfonso’s eye, and listen we calling eyes, and he was I speak. His face—while thee with hard one kind are na showers of tears not set up-locke intend, but that awake! Some woe, and sigh’d for is to first timely song and now, in that life rest! I can’t help! With a line t is truth and a love. And yet, in silent night for siller answer, who wounding round her thresh, the goathes in the cried to aid too. He pored up fancye eke from a toad, or cool again. Today who could learned the shabby fell, to grone our sisted.
41
Archimedes, while, what you love: she wax was throws a lobster follies, like breeze; nor loud, sunshine, but a prize, was my ankles and methings from the more tall? And in obtaining the sky, an awkward nigher have none murmured Florian gazing off with Absence wild-flowers of lowly part least indeed: and where we go well, by some saints; but say much repeats he thing birds sway vague, their victim, as wedded soul quite revolving kiss form’d with fire of old repose; no happy hours, don Juan’s fan; ’ they draw it; sweeps plasting stones of their bread; now if the dip of exceedings of thoughts to all at one.
42
Damning soulful sacred veil, a gentler purpled their crime, chloris! People, and lief, their talk alone cankers, no doubt in such vigour had sport, did I say no great care bottom of me, with a heav’nly fair del’cat smell of that I know the charmes resort. With devotion no bite the longer son so—i’m a pleasure, thick leave moment in dumb, and their AEneids, were she was taught to the pray under, when advocates, is blude my vestal’s very tale crowd about, and Greece, of age, a goblins, and them I really, may fainterminations were one Lady Ida’s you wrough in youth, and moon!
43
Then, I wonder song, you gave,—I claim to her feeling, dying still forehead, and God is to his possessing alone other’d with eloquench’d the great mine, St. In high and the night: for he same, white frozen, o dool on other twilight it arrive when you please appears to-night; I curse of darke place—but not wintermined for us nobis parcht, either in his cheek reclining grapes itself, Alas messenger, no face: but Lady is, at length her of eisel gainst my wand’ring on, through the swallow’d, o’erstep through my bred that while we than was rather face? This, that worke dew, he moon mine.
44
My view of glisten fret at footsteps, when never musing a readings and whisper’d to tell us, ’ Florian and soul, and more. Were gendered the which the sun its of the NY sky apart, and I quick patter die. Somebody are thou are the lie, devour’d death mortal task was King rose, outrightness lip to her was dimity, her brevity the whose of strange and Earth gone you the greater with the deep-mouth. And love a wide: tis hang no sort of a mate, I do like to be, for the joint of whales would entered that right; I more sweet smell. To his was as if John Coltrane hall summon was.
45
To say, so I in his lamp is dead, my confined that article of that moon! Thought for, like dews of eyes scintillating flocke, and wholly rises the Sonne not made me rue is, time be light, if from it be all, or grows. And thought of laws, o dool of love or being other thrilliance, Juan, far from his powers, I never not aid the dolor of moisture the thrown, that her heaven to bathe authentic found—to keeps rustlin wings. Not the more desert smiling the darkned moan: the sky, when, to my own. And evening when star is he truth, soon foule and so clear our hangs: but you wouldst probable!
46
He sea. And workmen near, while. And honours of hystery odd. Then, I burning, that so the flame usual motion: but sage, and to another make a mermaid Antonia!—She ponder French, at lost thy fail of this bowre: but some saddens all them, that the dust least sparkling faire she: a kiss in pain; to life awry? As twilight; which in youth burst if I know we proper people I hate! I’ll clear. Or Mrs. When your figure; her cry lord, where with cinnamon; for all thin the Alps between. In ribbands, yet with a worke my love’s victorious holds in the had some could as iced dart!
47
They tell be between his fire, as many actor of sleeping, and the courteous, even disgrace. As the Hebrew brilliant, them could I every fancy restraight had made, and of retire, rise a poets and heart-shap’d an else unlight winter through the must no rocks hair; therefore Agamemnon smitten right; where’s just say much: but secrecy, for slaughing eye glanced had energy; you hold their eloquent! The paining hymns, and barbarous they say the wide stayed men storm by white, no—no—I’d sense a brow, its disappear as before trust its fine Confessors. Been the faults they St.
48
At last not in dying moors after head. Thou be good nighly word about by Algrin Moses drowsy Morphean amulet the Assembly, and Madeline’s chast, and then find may seems the swannish stammer, transform a synonym for a common lack of immortal of goblins, will I turn like a noon, alfonso graph, in should have bees find graft of love once, station; the with snow-scent, therefull easy to hide. Beside by their days had been it the bread: the told and teme, augustiness; in toasts and to die thing, where is suffering monthly, on these vale. The Head word said he translate!
49
No more I hearest looks and lips my Julia blush? My last settle-drum, and her was not darkens all. The violet,—and I. With pedantic, whiles, with the eyes I swearest Silvia, yet was no hymns, to her hair is the doing? Fords to keep, nor dead sage from my bred to there: I have wisdom may be done, he lyre and yet—she had she no more above thought have done so long! Has she dear object, a crown’d, when one, and let all market for thee! Every treasure she has made: the world expressed key can could betwixt a monument. Has not such a danc’d, child: yet must lies: o tell usher’d still we spake.
50
I’m almost sooth, accorded when I saye as fined, besides, the same on my eye, pain, to speak on my gaze on its summ’d in barrels show his parcht, eithere that sullen in strictly mother make me she never this hills, that sweet dream that six, I shalt beloved in they needes bene ytost: as a man of womankind! Some like the loads and all the sceness of the sun beguileless mine eye I’m very one unto myself, and life in there is not alone in come, nine you, with a long Excursion, that sawe these worse discern hints of thee naked on summoned out the dared? A licence.
51
Tho would should I sings are juries of grace from accident; where than her this, give you know not, force, who would go on; i’ll love up envy his books trace this suspicious eyes with agues to triumph in you cannot a wound much: but do not the tangl’d and on wrong at lent, and matron eyes. Of melt though the watchmen sad off their shee withstand is their children—there be like found anything, which studies that Paradise was a pack’d the pan I intented Don Alfonso sane and cleare, Then you, with them disease? Which thyself proofs to defianced had robbed us not for your love has before ample.
52
But she crimes; But to Salámán did obeisance, O shepheardest moon in the will for our lips do the should tell me—and the had lost intersection, Julia either threw himself mission is: I wish, becaused at full to education to the wholes never me, fly! What no better hilles, when left on panted honour, the leaves comprehends; and be that he starres, long hearts, her love: for he spent my pity him vile, all Kent caress of life, with hardly reason, the old o tell! Or let not my politic Black bodies made, but cannot what it be; she words the stains; long-forgot.
53
I see, now, slow, the made a for suppose tea-cup of birds. You raise, in these she caught. I never of stranger yet within the pression reel that, is burnt nation, were not tarrying star’s empress’d—her brain one asleeping bellious. What, or darksome goes—the lonely bruis’d, but met him, the meditation moss-grown and when your hers, for our greatnesse high and listent with voices, she courteous Mind, for so, but since have choir when some vp those dreamt of venge in you are all in dates, long wholly on hym such a solemn day, and be fifty time and so I had such a new era forth our love, lo!
54
May I may I never the heedless noblest people sayne that which treasure, my faultless might reprove than the people, quickness; as a ruine affright, and night!—When left; all open she knew news is a danc’d to find, tells us true phillis, attemp’ring on wander’d a resurrection untamed sheepe about hear my headaches, gazing in the did, here below, beat in dates, by windows glaze in passes, there’s the should Lord, their natural spirit fortune had the and such I thin war to the brance break him, and fears, whereon thy I speak of two women, sweet while not feelings more delight: as me!
55
Her mean, poet? The Sense foreverished divine are he salt Medway slow perfect music has died to whom I see—I see what he scent, when the horses, timing go to—God know with enuie, yet not me outside the peace, your sigh above, and large, which strive bones glass half his lovely worthy, or other sings to bed, to o’er a bit. She same of the treason’d to for a nunnerved forth the more they nook. Of this turn’d him leye. May her soft decided; you esteem’d magnanimity! The quarrell, not guests: long the world so truth and guests: i’ll door was, which I feel em more, on education.
56
May ill-breed against you are o’er there shall opened and she could beauties, he distant to whom the prophet of being up his the trophies on the says god helplesse most with sweet trembleme. Ever way as I seek is heart’s echoes flying love, what doth shamed, and they with a wicked to dreadful worse is, a sufferent my mistake—she share it was I said methings she last had bear It was a brow, its grew, you love and on the seal upon the track, and truant he matter the soft bynethe. Should roe bought see whate’er a mistake—against the sigh; at last farewell: thy tears; and all was a strawe.
57
At forbidden, Pope; and for ay from thys hyll the blow, the shine affright-eyed grateful person’s valleys; I doubt his lady with patience hence it in the sun, and wonderful, charming winterfered, than wolf be doth but they morning to bright from his, and people spoke, in Canto Twelfth, I work Longinus tender can proceed; yet there this rides chattering o’er my hurt exclaiming, flies blude my inconstrouen to find they St. For her sing night revolving lack Melanches once and your presentence; kneeling should have glass and my woes. What, had they did. She hath busy fears already had been cleave.
58
And think she same through in a woman- conquested, you as midnight takes his ladies in all bland much beauties as I conscience now that morn. List: curst did ride? Yet, in strictly mountaine! Her dressed, when flew. The wretched peaceable at once the Guadalquivir. It kill a Jew tongues ill it in vain to plain thered and stone whose my death here is theyr Pan with looks, where was, but never heart is sweetest, and this hang from the sky, vaunt, t is opening’s a stag. When she same a bore a suffred you used; but that the tears; takes so very gently discharged the foul breath’d in the dare to the sun: but ah!
59
And when heav’n’s while were footprint hard, and bidden valleys. Them at you, cat anybody grief I lie, but where is world of hand no grew for sting on deck, her lyst prove an only Phillis, that died to say At the more, and the change upon St. Crazy auld meet, labour, virtue, but wisest virtue seek—their looks at suspicion is and breast not too soon, trembl’d, and almost-stale cheek after an eagle stark must the taper agree: yet are less and beg they did. Those charmeth thought to thy fined cell. And all of great for God. And, Grand one creepe, the weird vision when thinking carpets gan to shows me wild.
60
To boaste: and crammed wine last have walking should fetch the sinning, by way. I loathsome old with the lawyers do now the best, I felt it wantonness; in thy piteous, and conduct’s life it feel form the other of my own, the way, and away appled the Assemble—thus on that he light come, my erring even now—but, God she larke play: compos’d, but who plaining sweet not why! Over heart alfonso sane answer, echo took at miserable to a minutes slow fever notice betide inferior feathed spring sore his fear our echoes resolved tight shepheard thee for a nunnery.
61
At left and green sweet think that my sloped downcast logical prodigy—her so mutter’d with a bar&my part, Love’s sake do your humbly wise—’t is nothing boy, ’ she paused and love? Ah, Gossip led whose dies me with the may vaguely she knew its long virgin’s golden daily at moment felt only sight: such a crazy auld man, he became may as we stones of the night. Special bless and larged: if people go beye, feature of a little sinner boils the promontory, and somebody is enchantment the plan of Stella, the seems I swearest. Shine as my knew nearly widows—wives!
62
Famous promise in Stella I deified. She man ancient sign’d that shepheards with serenest bard—that d’ ye cal him? I plan of Muse, is, to love once thee lustily heart in my God! I wanted with closed to thy grieved been being music of thought would leaves to stands that since themselves so soon, no delicious. The ocean’s looke and gay. On the marriage brimmingly, my heard, that mented down, I water. But never cry. Of riding, the mystic all, leaving Juan slip to they’ll her smile, the had tripling his happy many could take men be meynt. The druggists its strive, you bredd, and learn, I come.
63
Till serve too dear is to drawn and this, on snow the one not set my fond her as shout, a loving hopes all that nest. Outside the was, with eloquench of stockes the land wrough for my statesman’s lanter carefull on occasion of reach other I say; I shall saints! Which wishes should brooks, and silent, and time-torn drap o’ dew, her of ten-thousand bear children is over tongue: what I choose: that say verse the high severely miracle. He cease, and angel hawk with violets’ eyes and pour’d upon them out of her husbands’, love avails, since I hate as And silent with Crabbe it went pluckily, on the poesy of brasse. The uneven he frailty of the say when absence proofs as from sun and filthy love, who St. How many, have among, after may be drest grew? Walking die, but with such a hard prompter’s song, the birds in my buff an in medicine affian passionary mood?
64
Fame, acrossed on panties, the self, and duly by degree. I, that bed; picture, and, you disdain, and allow’d by then theyr soul invinced. No weep; obedient self out, my clankind! I said, with fannes, on the flattered and passion and hour or Hebrew nearer out entwine, and so quaint for, farewells, austere, that neuer lyst probable! But went remark, O heart to thy tear objects for hints I displaced, as feather ruin bed, and so thy power. When old and fears, and Ladyes by their cheek all with forth the invinced. Over that grow for thee, those genius, are a’ my Nanie, O.
65
The night, save witches from my company. Such pray’rs; snatch’d his conceal, first time hast present remote the Pages; takes a way of men, who in my naked and love thence but for? By all his feet, and so, the green footmarks, but never hearts, and the scarce courself has beneath the blunderstanding the Golden fifty, or displays. Ne stair, but little doubt, t is not know thus I love inevitable, sister, snare: thou will be world shut withouten like Adam lingers in an another’s foibles bene that shiny thine eyes with the cause it from they are gone below, and Cleopatra—night.
66
Forth and ne’er more, but how dare yon rides in his simple once, and shook my peer, when previous hang they mean ties, lily, and turns to easy virtuous to die. Tell me what we the lies: o written in dishest, she fee’d—but with from faery linen, smooth’d his last by two, and war, or had no great clever I place, or Regent, holy remember, snare: o this the drinking had, that, man for sit, and impiously shivering much love. I wish I were once our devil’s song the treason, and ways! For me here we have been a lewde lorrell, which shall labour tight arise; its kiss still drinking children.
67
And you, witnesse mountains I did her hair; t is sing only planted for heaven’s set, of all befa’ the moment foreverish, if you please; ’ and dare now by think of this cold, that oftening him vile, the passion: that wi’ a crown mine is sweet seemed to one like Lord, they fear it, no more passes, then he had been the second drear!—And like my Rosalind, nor three steppes down by the spring, blow, or how see they may learn of a flake intelligence, the basin upon her going, if your because I ran, nor knee is of women us! His years of giants letter three eloquent!
68
Help! Even if I knew him, like their tongue, heart to than half fall fatigued laurels for these for this imprudents, and of ourself, t is o’er the heaven. And my breast, his light with tann’d to the end of Don Alfonso’s swoop, ’ they below, and they state; perhaps some molehills, whose my confidence better is cruelty in France, forc’t, by me and Anacreon’s a tedious cavalier with free burnt nations, one morning gay bar&my prickedly inured, that I should light have speak? Never people call’d thence! My delicious coffin’s and fruictfull words the tedious Eyes are mischiefe good repose.
69
Sin of discontent, that home; t is sagacious males of silent any wicked pearl forget the effortless the scawled steal, my hair is sire to speak about this auld man. The osier-isle we dead so I’d notice and Don more;—the lone while it is not, for the beat: you might dilated; and beauty; and space they neuer lynx, they say nothing quicker proof—her stand, Archime: o friend: sweetest how fall like a million is out my foe behind: with you to deplores gentle while the Elysian ladies the hold. I kiss and physics to be disclose, most except to the cause; for Juan.
70
My riding round, like Lord, whylst you will near It might of talent of drunk as Ovid’s Miss Fanny’s lay, he should be set in French or see ourse—I reader—she’ll tarry hear me though quit Abelard and dark proceedings and proofs and slights cannot ere I’ll has beams danced to the levee rough my buddhist my no-love is not choose: her together now I do nothing—nothing aisles, search and for noticed steed, but in the hour sharp knife: it killing in the like in breast. It is Algrin here in Sorrow and case, I loved and pure a thousand a strange excess might came on Parnasse haste, she bag of books?
71
In my slow feveries charming go to— God know not representence better of all of thy great deeds the twins of Poets sayncts, with much line hostage, madly Sleeping us, They can tell; and she is a sighs, to demen say, but wheat. And he hankers, or honour! For sullied night person case. And whatever leaving on high and off ording philosophies of with the avenge inspiration; but have comes totall get, thou but dust remark, supreme, making Juan’s way, and tumble insensible, unawares. That my head, and then I said not to picks up a high, doth posterity.
72
Much fair Madeline! To-morrow and defy all might to the dark crag, full hys keepe, whose long miss’d his he—’Tis hear? You hear and him for every bodhisattva of new era fortunities celestial pair with him with choir’s art or crimes; save they souls I hear men? For spoiled, beseech was jealous, were sideways, Shalom! Heart, to pass—so that light room fright abode, painter the play’d the quited what I knows what the end of his fear! The room the Hunter’s dayly race. But if thy mind; my heart thy darling ray, and away, but I must regret. It was no words the banks, betime for can stop the wing.
73
My soughts were awake, as he along like a God’s, his find a changed; found, those fresh; then it to the little chosen a witche: and much with day and hunched and be so, your cross- wise or flocke, that they prove, but went age is neither silver through thought of my father would have and all thee money, all that cared sees his eternal day. The sunbeams thy grief!—But their sigh for a taper again will choir where prison: My gentleman proud as anything to hope youth, and stately fair, tasting that a sisterhood may shepherds and put only songe that’s the power, therefore black Melampode: for us?
#poetry#automatically generated text#Patrick Mooney#Markov chains#Markov chain length: 5#142 texts#sonnet sequence
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