#//so don't be surprised to see me in there editing it
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You should definitely write for Vi bc oml she’s so fine 😮💨
DO U EVEN KNOW THE WAY IM TWEAKIN OVER HER like omfg. my poor moots getting bombarded with fucking piles of edits upon edits of her and my thirsty comments...yeah...i gotchu, you don't needa ask me twice ♡ tbh feel like this is one of the better short smutty thingies i've written, lol. it was really fun.
nsfw drabble—dom!vi + spit kink. originally i was gonna make this three smaller blurbs, but decided to just smash em all into one longer drabble situation. cw: praise, bossy vi, finger sucking (r! receiving), oral (v! receiving), vi bush mention RAHHHH, yapping... yk how it is by now. + 1.1k wc.
you were gazing up at her with watery eyes, kneeling by vi's seated form, trying your hardest to ignore the deafening ache between your thighs.
vi is loving, and she knows how to treat you well. she always provides you with tons of care and happiness, however—she also possesses a dirty side to her.
a bandaged hand swipes at the bottom of your chin, her thumb prodding at your pursed lips. there was a smirk playing on her scarred lips, her powder-blue eyes twinkling with pure lust at the scenario playing out before her.
“open.” she says roughly, and who are you to deny her? you were willing to take anything she'd give you, so you obediently part your lips, allowing her to fully push her digit inside your hot mouth.
almost instinctively, your puffy lips wrap around her thumb and you begin to suck, your eyes rolling ever so slightly at the taste of her salted skin. she hums, “atta girl—keep going. just like that, until i say you can stop, alright?” you open your eyes and nod in approval, wishing to commit her expression to memory.
see, vi wasn't one of those mean, degrading doms with an icy exterior who get off on hurting you an excessive amount, and in moments like this where she's got you in a position of submission under her, her natural “switchiness” peeks through. you see it in the way her throat bobs as she swallows, her unsteady, shallow breathing coming out in rasps, and the distinct furrow in her flaming brows while she struggles to maintain eye contact. regardless, you both enjoy toying around with various dynamics, she makes it fun.
you get lost in a daydream while staring into her eyes, but are startled out of it when she strongly presses down on your wet tongue, and pushes her thumb further inward until you gag.
it surprises you, but you know she would never overdo things. tears well up in your eyes, their presence only widening her voracious grin.
then she soothes, her now-soft voice caressing your ears, “exactly, just like that. good job, baby. you're so perfect f'me—yeahhh.” she continues rolling her thumb around your wet muscle, every so often dragging the pad of her finger over the ridges of your teeth, then pushing experimentally up against the roof of your mouth.
saliva has been gathering all this time, and she hasn't given you a moment to swallow it, so it dribbles out of your mouth and down your chin, decorating your chest as it slides down your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps along its path.
her face gets impossibly redder as she observes the sight, still while playing with—rather, using—your mouth. her movements speed up a touch, and she triggers your gag reflex once more before abruptly stopping. she pulls her hand out of your mouth with a pop, and throws her head back as she tries to steady her breathing. “you're so fuckin’ hot, god—i can't.”
you smile up at her, reveling in her break of character and being pleased with yourself. she's panting, and examines her hand; it's shiny and dripping with your spit, she's mesmerized by the sparkle it emits in the low light. her periwinkle eyes gloss over and suddenly there's a flash of fabric flying by, and you realize she has undressed herself in one fluid motion, throwing everything on her bottom half across the room. she’s so desperate, you can’t help but sneer at her horny distress, even though technically you were the one being overpowered.
your eyes drop, meeting a wild tangle of vermillion and crimson, her muscular thighs separating east and west to make space for you.
she leans back and gently nudges your head towards her tender, drooling core, her chest heaving at the way you're just melting under her touch. turning to jelly, you let her guide you where she wants. needs.
vi groans quietly, her breath hitching, “c'mon angel, you know what to do.” and you very much did. with her assistance, you advance and bury your face in her center, tongue finding her scarlet pearl—twitching and ready for you to obliterate.
you flick, you suck, and you moan at the heavenly taste of her essence, revel in the noises she's producing above you. she pulls you further in, bucking her hips frantically to chase your skilled mouth. you push your tongue inside her quivering hole as far as it'll go, taking as much of her in your mouth as you can, and ignoring the lack of oxygen you're experiencing—you would be more than pleased if you were lucky enough to die this way.
she's watching you intently through half-lidded eyes, chewing on her rosy lips. when you meet her gaze from in between her legs, her face contorts and she releases a guttural whine, more slick leaking from her and filling your hard-at-work mouth.
her grip on your hair tightens and her abs tense, providing you with an image that's worthy of a climax just on its own. her head falls back, her lips parting to allow for pretty, high pitched and pathetic pleas to grace your ears. “ple—please baby, just like that. you're so fuckin' good, don't you dare stop—ah!”
without any warning she makes a vulgar mess of your face, the vice grip on your crown causing you to wince, but just as she requests, you don't dare move.
you tilt your head to get a better angle, practically making out with her swollen pussy. you drink up her cum, the near-sickly sweetness clouding your mind, coating your thoughts in a drunken haze.
the high is rippling through her at such an intensity her loud moans are replaced with pornographic whimpers, the sensations utterly ruining her. she squirms and arches, caging your head between her thighs until she gasps.
"hah—okay, okay, oh—fuck.” she stutters while she pushes you away, the tremor in her body evident. you sit back and examine your work, feeling proud of yourself, her fucked-out condition proving you did a good job.
she's sprawled on the bed like a starfish, still trying to slow her racing heart but manages to chuckle, basking in the aftershocks of a mind-melting session.
her words are slurred, yet satisfied. “did so good, that was so good…love your mouth s'much babe.”
you guffaw, and throw at her through chuckles, “i know, i am the best.” that sends her into a fit of giggles as well, and once she's calmed down she confirms.
“yeah, you really are.”
thanks for reading! comments, reblogs, and asks are appreciated more than you know ♡ if you'd like to be tagged in future works, fill out the form here! until next time ;)
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#pluto + their pen ☆#vi arcane#vi x reader#vi smut#vi x you#vi x y/n#vi x fem reader#vi arcane x reader#vi arcane smut#violet arcane#vi x reader smut#lesbian#wlw smut#wlw fanfic#wlw post#sapphic#arcane x reader#arcane smut#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x female reader#arcane x gender neutral reader#vi fanfic#arcane fandom#arcane fanfic#arcane fanfiction#violet arcane x reader#vi league of legends#vi arcane imagine#requests! ♡
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@flyingfabio presents…
⭐ THE 2024 MOTOGP FRAUD AWARDS ⭐
i thought about doing an introduction but really the title is self-explanatory and i can’t be bothered. supposed to be an humorous post. biased i guess.
in the first category… ✨MANUFACTURERS & TEAMS✨
DUCATI. promising a seat before retracting your offer to the guy who ultimately won the championship for you over your number one guy and will take the number 1 to another manufacturer is quite the achievement. i don't want to hear the 'but who is the real loser because jorge martin is going to a worse bike blabla' crowd. i don't care. that's loser behavior and poor management from ducati but hey. *casey stoner voice* at this point who is surprised it's typical from ducati. big fat bonus fraud point for delaying ride height devices ban until 2027 so us fans can fully enjoy processions races until then. thanks guys!
KTM. poured millions into motogp and have not won a dry race since 2021. manage their finances worse than the worst crypto bro. will probably pay its riders with pennies and make them race with carboard bikes next year. bonus fraud point for being the ugliest looking bike on the grid.
APRILIA. the "yes i do the cooking (the riders) yes i do the cleaning (the riders line up)" brand. yes they DO have the only non-ducati win this season which should automatically avoid them the fraud status but alas we can’t ignore the rest of the season which was dire. for god’s sake hey needed 758 bikes to crash for aleix to win a SPRINT in BARCELONA where aprilias are supposed to fly. they are so lucky they will have jorge martin on their bike next season. HOWEVER very much a double-edged sword as he could further expose the fraud status of the bike if he’s not able to challenge for wins as the current world champion.
YAMAHA & HONDA. summarized in one picture each.
honourable mention goes to… GRESINI RACING SOCIAL MEDIA ADMIN. if i got ten dollars every time i had to see a cringy AI-assisted movie poster edit this year… if only it were just that and not also the passive agressive replies to people questioning them photoshopping black people hairstyle on gresini team members because that’s supposed to represent lewis hamilton. bonus fraud point for not issuing a single professional statement when the team fucked up with the title sponsor.
in the second category… ✨RIDERS✨
PECCO BAGNAIA. winning 10 11 races and not winning the championship because the bin it gene is still going strong after years. it's about time it bit him in the ass.
MAVERICK VINALES. sorry eden i said i didn't plan to put him here because the man is the only one on a non ducati to have a won race on a sunday. BUT i remembered something. how the hell do you leave a factory aprilia to go to a satellite ktm on your own free will.....
FRANCO MORBIDELLI. nepotism is one hell of a thing eh.
MARCO BEZZECCHI. karma is one hell of thing eh. 'marquez? i put him fifth behind pecco, martin, enea and me' all it needed was a new michelin rear to humble him. cinema!
JACK MILLER. jack's specialty is backhanded comments about riders who are objectively better than him before immediatly proceeding to flop in a stellar fashion. 'i was faster than a guy who just renewed for 12 million.' congrats jack you finished behind said guy while being on a better bike and now you're basically riding as a test rider to develop a bike so that guy can win again.
in the last category… ✨REST OF THE PADDOCK✨
STEWARDS. listen. taking a fraud-o-meter in the stewards room would be like taking a radioactivity meter in chernobyl. at so many occasions they have shat the bed this year i can't list them all. not giving penalties because 'oops we didn't see' or seeing bubbles after putting a wheel in a bin with water. fortunately next year we'll be free of freddie spencer. hallelujah!
TV DIRECTION. could be summed up by dorna filming the same guys separated by two seconds for 20 laps be like: 'yooo this shit is fire!'
MICHELIN. we've been NEEDING a new front tire for YEARS but no these guys went and introduced a new rear tire (AGAIN) that favours a bike that was already dominating. great job lads!
PEOPLE BEHIND THE MOTOGP REBRAND. between the soulless logo and the absurd slogan i think we've hit the fraud jackpot.
#motogp#i probably forgot things but i want to be done with this#finished writing this while drunk soooo#elie.txt
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> Rose: Confess to Kanaya!
Rose: I love you.
Kanaya: Y Yo Ati, Rose.
> Rose: Get swallowed by something that looks like Venom.
> Rose: Get sent to super hell!
> Kanaya: Have something very gay and homophobic happen to you.
Kanaya: ...
What an absolute diversity loss. You find yourself thinking "love loses!"
#Okay this is my highest possible effort post so far; please spread it around like it's the flu or something#I put so many hours into this like actually lmao I surprised myself with how late I stayed up#going on a content hiatus soon so I suppose that fits that I put out a high effort destiel meme & scene recreation as a last hurrah#send in requests though; i'll get around to them when I get around to them! love to see what you folks come up with!#the sprite assets are up on my main but I'll reblog them here later; not sure if I'll have a tag system or not for it yet#new supernatural & homestuck memes format dropped along with a couple of spn AU designs & beyond canon too#yes I even included a shot of super mega turbo hell; it's got a little bit of everything as it should 🔥#rosewheresheshouldntbe#kanaya maryam#rose lalonde#rosemary#homestuck#originals#hs rose#hs kanaya#spn#supernatural#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#please don't expect me to commit to the bit this hard every time because that's absolutely not realistic; I just got super into this 😂#I can't believe I designed entire new outfits around rosemary just for the bit of doing this joke; just for this little side blog#the rose outfit is just an edited version of her hs beyond canon outfit; but still! I'm happy with how she & her wife look 💜
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i don't play genshin like that anymore but hoyoverse i am sick n tired of having PALE ASS MF CHARACTERS . after all these years somehow kaeya is still your darkest character. do better. include these cultures beyond music, names, and lore!!!
#i'm so serious this is fucking ridiculous it's been years + fans have been able to code chars to make them darker n more accurate#sumeru was some bs and we were told to wait for natlan and now...this? don't make me laugh#how are you gonna have taíno + African influences in your game only to make them pale asf. or look ashy.#that is not how melanin works !!!!! sincerely someone w melanin god fucking damn#i salute MY soldiers . (people making darkskinned edits)#btw if you don't fw those edits respectfully fuck off let people have fun k thnx!#i've been waiting to see this place only for it to be so....disappointing. i'm not even surprised anymore but this is actually a joke.#fuck hoyoverse#genshin discourse ig?#genshin impact#sumeru genshin#natlan genshin#ignore the tags !
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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(❀´ ˘ `❀)┌iii┐♡
#my art#one day I'll figure out how to draw curls without wanting to die and my sona will have the curls she deserves ✊🏽😔#also I've been OBSESSSED with moths recently so if you see me bouncing between a moth sona and a bunny sona#don't act surprised#edit: so i actually have started drawing my hair curly but i already drew this so....i wasn't about to change it lol#artists on tumblr#damselsona#૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა
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#the good wife#kalinda sharma#alicia florrick#kalicia#//#sine's edits#tmi ahead:#so this brought back (relatively happy) memories from my teen/ya days#i was out with a friend i was in love with at the time and two guys propositioned us like this. well they were even more forward used#a stupid pick up line and asked to come home with us. we rolled our eyes and looked at each other conspirationally.#the joke was on them bc my friend did come home with me that night#the 'are you gay?' bit happened some days later but it was spoken in riddles and 'i don't like talking about my#personal life' was sth that i did say (cliched much?)#it led to a situationship that was initiated by said friend but it quickly turned sour bc of internalized stuff. and yes it did damage our#friendship.#we are distant friends these days and even though we have nothing in common there are times that i miss our camaraderie#anyway i'm watching the elsbeth episodes first so i dunno if kalinda sees alicia as a friend but there are some scenes that give me pause.#wouldn't surprise me if she was in love with her at some point.
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the fun things about the super bowl are seeing the commercials, taylor swift, the chiefs mustache guy from the snickers ad and rfk jr.'s jfk ad! ;D
i could care less about the super bowl part tho ;)
#i like everything besides the game ;)#it was fun seeing taylor swift in the crowd!#i bet she's like 'phew i don't need to perform at halftime!' ;D#i was surprised to see the guy from the snickers ad! :o#although it's for the chiefs so of course the coach would be there#rfk jr. used jfk's ad but put pics of him in it which is clever! ;)#although it made me really confused at first#football is boring but at least the parts around it are entertaining!#edit: turns out snickers made that same ad in '97! :o#old commercials are new again! :)#edit boogaloo: add the volkswagen ad to the list of great moments!#and usher's cool dancing in the halftime show! ;D
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read a fic that I kinda liked but the dialogue wasn't punctuated correctly and it kinda put me off. then I read an older fic by the same author and it was punctuated perfectly???
#like....the quality difference was pretty stark tbh i was surprised to see the older fic was better#like i know editing is hard but it's wild to just decide to *stop* punctuating correctly#i don't mean to be a hater and no one is obligated to put any amount of effort into making Free Content For Fun#it's just kinda sad to me when so much care is clearly put into developing the story but none into the actual writing
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.
#so I think ep 12 is really good - does it have problems? yes.#do I think Atom should've apologized to Boston's face properly? yes#do I think boston should've apologized to top's face properly? yes#do I think Nick's interesting choice words for his last convo with Boston were def harsh? yes#do I wish they did the fire topmew scene a bit differently to make it more poignant esp since they've been shitting on top? yes#so many things! And that's just ep 12 bc jfc if u asked me abt the other eps?...we'd be here all night#basically it's this - they are characters meant to rep early 20 something students who are so messy and flawed and reckless#will they each recognize every mistake they've ever made? noooooo bc WHY WOULD THEY??? WHEN ITS ABT THEIR PAIN!?!?#THEY ARE THINKING OF YHEMSELVES#THATS HOW IT IS SOMETIMES - I DO THE FUCKING SAME THING#it feels v much like the end of edge of seventeen where you're with a character you've bonded over for an hour and a half and realize#NO ONE is going to apologize to them - not truthfully or fully or genuinely or etc and it's sad and heartbreaking and painful#but newsflash - it happens#and don't think you've done it right all the first time and apologized rightfully - and if u did?? It's bc that person mattered to you!#these 'friends'??? while yes they are - they also are not#im fucking surprised they all stayed friends tbh bc they don't truly make sense long-run but they have that business together so let's see#let's face it - it's the friendships it's the meanings it's the labels it's the community it's the assumptions it's the lack of words#ya'll saying you want toxic but can't handle when everything is not fair#and it isn't fair! there's exec decisions there's editing decisions there's casting decisions! bruh. it was set up from the start.#editing based on audience reaction? bruh. played right into their hands#blabber time#please ignore me#not even gon put the tags bc ya'll vicious as fuck when it comes to your characters while valid I'm tbh too tired to hear abt
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[source]
i had not seen the "durge/astarion is canon!" post until earlier today with that discord screenshot and honestly ... a writer being like "i managed to shove in all this extra content for astarion/dark urge, but then we simply ran out of time for the other characters" is not good, actually. that doesn't mean your ship is the most canon. it means that astarion kept getting extra attention and other companions kept getting neglected. that other companions simply do not have the amount of content astarion has is not a good thing, it is a bad thing.
and like i'm saying this as someone who really loves astarion/durge. it's unplatable to me and that larian writers are sitting in fan discords going "yeah we just didn't do that for other characters but somehow i found the time for this!" is kind of gross to me
#added the scene tally for context bc this isn't even *just* a durge problem let me know if you want it off the post op#tbh i wasn't even surprised anymore by just how much more content ast*rion had compared to everyone else#larian - for whatever reason - had decided to make him their poster child and writers' pet for the entirety of ea already#so to have it be the same at release was#not surprising#what was surprising though is that they didn't even *try* to even out the content the others had#the difference in quantity and quality and just overall care is so stark#to have it confirmed by one of the main writers and apparently NARRATIVE LEAD DESIGNERS whose job it is to oversee EVERYONE'S development#is... Disappointing to say the very least#to have a writer say sorry#we didn't time and resources for any of the others#but we miraculously have the time to plan storyboard write record and animate them all for ast*rion is Truly Amazing#and instead for the takeaway for the fandom in general from this confirmation to be like#1) see that the writers had to work under crunch and address that#and 2) to be shocked at the disparity of treatment of their own characters from larian and one of their lead designers#the reaction is to celebrate a character and a ship that has been vastly preferred over several others for literal years despite feedback#and take it as confirmation that's it's “canon” and that post has 10k notes#it's absolutely insane to me#like how many wires does thirsting over this character cross for you lol#anyhow once i've wrapped up my own durge pt#which i don't even want to touch anymore because the reactivity of EVERYONE excluding ast*rion just isn't there lmao#even if bhaal kills you in front of you li and friends#i will write up a feedback report to larian#because i honestly don't find that acceptable and that is the only way to really get them to perhaps change anything in a definite edition#or patch#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#bg3 critical#discourse for ts
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“they're not going to hurt you. i've promised to protect you by all means from the start and do i look like someone who'd break a promise?”
#surprise this bitch is being paranoid again#i genuinely fucking wish i was creep blue sea!peperoncino#sometimes i just need lemon by my side#and even he feels like lemon's gonna leave him#i feel alone most of the time#i feel like a prey animal and my family is a pack of starving beasts who have me on the menu#i only have one person offline who i trust enough and i only see her at school and i don't have any of her socials#so really i'm fucking doomed#why am i like this#i don't deserve the comfort of making lemoncino edits as a vent form#fuck it we ball#lemon cookie x peperoncino cookie#lemoncino#🍋🌶️.jpg
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one day i will finish this comic, if school stops KICKING MY ASS FOR ONE FRICKING MINUTE!!
#c: nai naalfa#my doodles#honestly i have no excuse LMAO. i'm just... a very big... procrestinator......... i start something and i have much difficulty seeing it#through.#and between trying not to die in college and personal stuff i just have so little motivation to sit down and draw#Or rather: i have so many idea's but i'm kinda '?????' about what i wanna do first so i sit there and do nothing and just scream inside#edit: you know sometimes i wonder whether or not i have adhd. or add. or whatever.#idk i feel silly because i don't wanna like. act all 'ooooooh i have this because TikTok/twt/Tumblr told me so'#but a lot of the adhd memes are like. too relatable at times. they hit a little bit too hard home. is that normal? lmao#and all my friends have diagnosed autism and/or adhd#so....?????????#feel too silly and hesitant to self-diagnose. so i will just Sit Here and Know That Something Is Wrong With Me but let it be a surprise#like a kinder surprise!!
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Realizing in retrospect that Cap'n absolutely should have had an overbite, considering how the in-game model for the eyeless dogs look. 😔
Not fixing it, but you know. Food for thought.
Threw together a last minute Art Fight ref sheet for Cap'n because NO ONE on twitter discouraged me from this bad decision!
#i talk#my draws#anyways AUUGUGHHH I'LL HAVE TO MAKE A PROPER POST LATER BUT Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SO SWEET ABOUT LIKING CAP'N 🥺🥺🥺!!!#I'm genuinely a bit surprised haha. I was just posting them to the void of twitter for a bit for me and my 7 homies that liked the posts#I was like 'this is good enough for me heehee. :]'#which then after I started posting about them more (like the aforementioned 'I really shouldn't make an art fight ref') I learned more#people HAD been lurking as I was posting! I was like OH!!#the same happened when I posted it in a discord server and a friend was like 'yeah I saw these!' I was like OH! I DIDN'T SEE YOU INTERACTIN#which is FINE!! I don't mind! forced interaction sucks! it was just funny finding out more people saw cap'n than I thought!!#and then I posted them on tumblr like 'eh this idea is super self indulgent lol who knows if anyone will like them haha'#AND THEN I SAW ALL THE NICE TAGS 🥺😭!!#(I can't edit the tags properly on mobile but pretend I said 'I got the 'oh boy two cakes' feeling#after being surprised by my friend on discord. cause it was that feeling! I was already like 'nice!' but then I was like WHAT? DOUBLE NICE!#capn tag
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I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me
It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:
At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.
On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."
Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:
But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:
It gets worse.
"Tempest, how could it possibly--"
source of this video that also includes this charming description:
Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'
There is already a meme.
Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:
Who has already done an interview!
As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!
Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.
The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.
Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!
I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.
Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:
I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.
Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:
Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.
Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.
Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.
I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.
This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.
Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:
With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"
"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:
There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.
The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.
Even better, this weirdly grainy image?
From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.
If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.
As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.
And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...
This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.
Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.
As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...
Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.
You cannot make this stuff up.
But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.
Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.
HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.
#long post#Willy Wonka#Wonka#Willy Wonka Experience#Willy Wonka Experience disaster#Willy's Chocolate Experience#Willys Chocolate Experience#THE UNKNOWN#Wish.com Oompa Loompa#House of Illuminati#AI#ai generated
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the wedding night
hi: i wrote this in an afternoon on the bus and barely edited this. it only exists because seeing that photo of General Acacius made me feel hornee things®. I don't know shit about roman gladiator times, this is just a debauched excuse to be railed by the man.
trope: forced marriage
pedro character: Marcus Acacius x female reader (you)
warnings: innocence kink, age gap (not specified, but he an old peepaw just how we like him) , names like whore because i am one, forced marriage, Au as fuck because i have no idea what happens in the movie, virgin bullshit, eating out, pp in vv, dubconish, i think that's everything.
RATED 18+
"Take to the bed," the muscular man tells you in a raspy voice as you enter the bedroom, wishing you had your fur. "I leave early for battle at dawn."
He makes no move to leave and so you glance from the waiting bed back over to the imposing figure standing by the fire. His tousled, greying curls are touched by the flickering reflection of the flames behind him.
This is all new to you and almost surreal. You've been taken from your modest home and brought here to a lavish home in Rome. You glance over at your new husband timidly.
"Are you to remain here all night?"
"We are wed," he replies with a wry grin. "Of course we shall spend the night together."
You've been shipped here under your father's greedy love for coin. And now you stand here in the bed chambers of the man who became your husband only hours ago.
General Marcus Acacius; a man double your age with the kind of quiet strength that made you anxious when you first laid eyes on him today, only moments before he slipped the ring onto your finger and you were announced as his.
He drank only a bit of wine at the wedding, a stark contrast to the family of yours that acted like the animals in Marcus' stables with every glass poured. Of course they would celebrate; they'd made a small fortune on your marriage, having sold you off like cattle.
And you now stand across the room from him, your husband, General Acacius, Marcus. A man who served under the infamous Maximus. He cuts a fearsome figure both on and off the battlefield with his broad, muscled frame and serious countenance.
You wear the traditional wedding night garment, a thin dress that is practically see-through. You pull your arms over your chest, hiding your nipples that poke through the thin fabric.
When you'd come to the room you'd been surprised to see Marcus there waiting for you, stoking the fire. You'd been told by the servants that your new husband would be preparing for battle all night. It had brought you some comfort.
But Marcus is here in nothing but his tunic cinched at the waist. His armour is in a pile by the door, his sword there as well. Without it he's still terrifying.
Marcus notes the arms you hold over your chest for modesty and he feels arousal begin to drip lazily into his veins.
"Undress," he says plainly, his dark eyes trailing over your body.
You make no move to follow his orders. If anything you seem angry with him. His fingers twitch next to his thigh as he waits for your compliance. It doesn't come.
The dark grey tunic he wears hangs just above his knees so when he walks over to you you're able to see his muscled legs rippling with power. You quiver as he finally stands in front of you. One thick forearm goes to rest against the wall above your head, his neck craning so he can look you in the face.
"I said undress."
"You will not order me about as if I were your slave," you seethe, your head craning away from him. "I am your wife."
"I am twice widowed," Marcus murmurs as his wide finger traces the curve of your delicate collarbone. "I have come to realize I have little need for a wife."
"Then why bring me here away from my family and my homeland? Why marry me at all if you have no need of me?"
"I have no need for a wife," Marcus repeats roughly, his exhalation landing over your face like a wine-soaked cloud. "But a man always has need for a ready cunt."
You rear back and your hand flies through the air so quickly he's clearly not expecting it. The slap you deliver to his bronzed cheek is so hard that he flinches back at the sensation, but his head remains facing you.
"I am no whore," you hiss. You've never been spoken to like this. "Nor a hole for you to fill at your leisure."
You're horrified when you see him lengthen under his tunic, thick and fearsome looking to your inexperienced eye. He smiles at you when you gaze back up at his face, a feral, ugly grin that has you backing against the stone wall as he advances, his pelvis nudging yours.
"You will be fucked well," Marcus whispers. "So well you will happily call yourself my whore."
You push at his broad chest, free of his usual armour and yet hard to the touch like iron. He doesn't budge, he just presses his pelvis into yours, pinning you to the wall. You feel him there between your legs, warm and waiting and large.
His hand comes to grip your jaw, forcing your unwilling mouth to his. He kisses you fiercely, like he owns you. It disgusts you. He pries your lips open with his own and as he licks into your mouth his tongue tastes of sweet wine.
You wince, trying to wrench from his grip. He only smiles, hands coming to meet at the collar of your nightdress. You shriek as he begins tearing the delicate fabric down the middle and exposing your breasts to the chilled air.
"I desire to see what is now mine," he murmurs, a hand coming to palm your breast.
You bat his hand away, slipping sideways from him into the centre of the room near the bed. He doesn't look upset; he looks amused, as if he were playing a game.
You hold the torn fabric of your dress at your chest, covering yourself as you back away from his advancing figure.
"I am not your anything," you grimace. "Leave at once."
Though your voice is strong you back away, a shuffled step for each strong stride of his until you feel the bed hit the back of your calves.
"This is our wedding night," Marcus says silkily. "And we must consummate."
Before you can deny him he jabs his strong fingers on either side of your clavicle, causing you to fall backwards onto the bed. You gasp when he follows after you, lifting the hem of your dress.
His head is thrust under, making you kick out your legs in fear. What is he doing under there? Fear has you convinced he may bite you.
You go to pull away further when you feel him starting to part your thighs. You squeal anxiously, twisting.
"Get off!"
"Calm yourself, wife," he orders gruffly from beneath your nightgown. He's stronger than you, his hands wide and it's only seconds before he's got your legs hinged over his shoulders.
You continue to cry out, desperate for escape. You're terrified of this brute of a man.
His mouth finds your cunt swollen and wet and when he lays his wide tongue flat and licks a stripe up the seam you suddenly go quiet. You can feel him smile against the lips of your pussy.
"So soft," he murmurs, kissing your sex reverentially before his tongue darts out to sample you again. It's been so long since he had a cunt this soft and sweet against his tongue.
Your hips jump and Marcus can't help but smirk. Under your nightgown all he can see and smell is your sex, open widely thanks to his hands, glistening with his saliva and your own arousal. He feasts on you, groaning as he gets swept away by the sensations your whimpers create in him.
You're on your back, looking up at the beautifully painted ceiling. A celestial pattern that mimics the night outside your window. Your chest heaves, nipples pert and straining as his mouth works against your cunt, making you tingle everywhere.
He's on his knees beside the bed, you're thighs hinged on his broad shoulders, the cream of your skin against his ears. He doesn't care that tomorrow his knees will ache because devouring you as you thrash for him on the bed has him feeling like a young man again.
He sucks the lips of your pussy into his mouth with relish, his hips grinding into the edge of the bed when you cry out. You hear him chuckle before he continues and the sound reminds you that you don't want him touching you like this and bringing out these feelings you've only heard whispers about. Not a man who has decided you're nothing more than a thing to fill.
"Ssstop," you slur above him, unable to focus as your vision blurs.
"No."
You keen breathily, your hands scrabbling to grip the bed. His broad hands cup your ass, forcing your sex harshly against his mouth. You hear vulgar slurping noises coming from underneath your nightgown and your eyes roll back.
You've never had a man before. Your mother warned you about husbands and their selfish desires in the bedroom. But this doesn't feel like what she warned you about. This feels good.
You feel a pressure beginning between your legs and you panic, trying to force Marcus' head from between your thighs but he just grips stronger, tilting his head from side to side as he drinks you down, his tongue wide and stuffing your cunt.
When be begins to suck brutally at your clit, bliss overtakes you, causing your back to arch and a shuddering scream to leave your throat.
Your hips undulate as he continues to fuck you with his tongue, stopping only when you begin to whine that it is too much. He licks you gently after that, cleaning the evidence of your orgasm with relish.
With a creak he stands beside the bed and removes his tunic. In a daze you lay on your elbows, gazing up at his broad, muscular body knowing that if he wanted to he could snap you like a twig. His cock rests heavily between his legs, just as thick and long as you thought. Despite the pleasure he brought you there's still that glint in his dark eyes, a mockery that you can't stand.
"Get away from me."
Your cunt pulses, drooling with your previous release. You try to curl into a ball, facing away from him.
You think he may leave you be but you feel his hand grip your waist. You thrash as he rips the rest of the nightdress off your body before forcing you onto your hands and knees.
"It is now my turn to take, wife. Ready yourself."
He pushes you down onto your belly, curving your ass up to the sky. Then he crawls over you, his hands pinning yours to the bed under his. You feel him there at your entrance and you feel terrified tears stream over your cheeks.
"No need for fearful tears," he assures you as his mouth meets your neck. "You will be crying for more of my cock soon enough."
You cry out as he pushes the head of his length between your dripping folds. He's much too big, the intrusion too great.
"I will make this quick," he grunts. "For your benefit."
Marcus can hardly believe how good the velvet clench of your cunt feels sliding along his cock as he pushes through your virginal barrier. Not since his first wife has he come close to anything this divine.
His teeth come to grip at your shoulder, biting there, marking you as he feeds his cock into your pussy from behind.
Your cries are muted, your pain ignored, because all Marcus can feel is bliss. Bliss as he marks you forever as his. Bliss as his thick cock stretches your walls, bliss as your pussy stings straining to take him all.
And by the time he's buried with his hips against your ass, your shoulder is bruised with the indents of his teeth.
"No more," you beg as he begins to move within you. "Let it be done."
"We have only started," he muses, kissing your damp cheek. "The best is yet to come."
His frame is so broad it covers you entirely, like you're wearing him as a robe draped over your curved body. He rocks into you as his massive hands press yours into the bed.
You feel him pull slightly out before buying himself within your womb. You cry out, head falling forward as the slick feel of his cock buries itself deeper and deeper with every subsequent thrust. With every pump he moves the both of you forward before pulling you back.
And just when the pain is too great, you feel it morph into pleasure. The feel of him thrusting in and out going from sharp to a pleasurable throb.
Marcus senses the change in you when your back starts to arch and your hips start to lean back to meet his. You're enjoying it now, just as he knew you would.
"You like this."
He grins to himself when you don't answer and instead let your head hang between your shoulders.
He continues to tease you, never letting up, waiting until your noises become breathless and needy and then he recedes, chuckling when you whimper his name.
What feels like eternity later the two of you are slick with sweat, your limbs shaking as Marcus watches you from above. His hands are on your hips now, pulling you against him.
He spreads your cheeks wide, groaning when he watches his thick cock filling your tight pussy to the brim.
You're begging for him to give you the same pleasure as before, nearly sobbing with how cock-drunk you are. He feels so good buried between your thighs.
Marcus only smirks down at you, a hand pressed on your lower back, urging your ass up higher for him. He thinks about all the things he's going to do with you before leaving for battle.
The thought is exciting him, sending him erratically pumping as he tilts you back, hand coming to strum your clit as your spine kisses his front. He holds you on his thighs, spread wide and bouncing.
"What are you?" He pants, his lips squished against your cheek, his fingers curling, making you see stars.
"You're. . . You're wife," you manage to croak out, your hands gripping his forearm slung over your chest.
He fucks harder into you, his cock hitting the spot your own fingers can never manage. It's causing more stars behind your eyes, your body limp in his grip like a doll.
"What are you?" Marcus demands again, only now he punctuates his question with a firm slap to your cunt.
You ache where he slapped, but a pleasurable one that sends you closer and closer to falling off the edge of bliss once more. Only this feels so much bigger, so much more intense than when his mouth was on you.
"Say it."
You writhe on his cock, held by one arm around your middle, the other fucking you with his thick fingers over your clit and his thicker cock splitting you with every upward thrust.
"Please, Marcus."
Marcus is so sweaty, his muscles gleaming in the low firelight. He moans lowly, the sound making your toes curl. Then his warm breath is hot on the side of your face.
"Say it and I will give you all that you desire."
You're so close, that pleasure ebbing and coming back stronger with every swipe and thrust. You try to sound it out, but the shame overtakes you again.
"I am you. . . I am your. . ."
Marcus is groaning into your ear again, his thighs twitching as your arousal soaks down his length. But he doesn't stop filling you over and over, his eyes closing as he revels in the pleasure of your milking cunt.
"Say it."
And now he presses the heel of his palm against your sex, holding you by the throat under your chin as your head snaps back onto his shoulder. Exposed like an animal Marcus stakes his claim, latching his mouth onto your neck and sucking.
"I am . . . I am. . ."
His thrusting continues and now he forces you back onto your hands and knees, draping his body over yours, fingers and cock never stopping, only drilling you from a new angle. He watches your sweet ass ripple for him as he pounds into your cunt, marvelling at how puffy and shiny and perfect she is.
"Say it," he booms and you can feel his thrusting growing staggered, his body fucking into you with all that he has.
And you can't hold the words back any longer, not when it feels like your very ecstasy hinges on them being said out loud. It tears from you, ripped from your very vocal chords as he sinks into you, your voice shrill and cracked as you scream it.
"I am your whore!"
The answering groan of Marcus in your ear makes you cry out loudly, coating his stroking fingers with hot arousal as you cum.
“My whore,” he hisses as you buck against him.
You shake the entire time, confused at how everything in you burst like a ripe berry on the vine and yet you remain outwardly unchanged. Surely you very soul must have left you at that pinnacle of pleasure. You've never felt anything like it.
And yet here you remain, in his arms in his bed, human and alive. You both pant heavily, the room smelling of sex and sweat and the oils in your hair.
Marcus tugs you against him and you roll towards his body, pliant and willing. His mouth finds yours but it's soft and delicate. Your hands run through his soft, greying curls.
"Are you satisfied?"
You ask it quietly, almost afraid to know his true thoughts. He's experienced in so many ways, twice your age, strong and capable. And yet the kiss he gives you is gentle. It curves as he smiles against your waiting mouth.
"I am, wife."
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fic#marcus acacius#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x you#trope#forced marriage
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