#//seriously I'm sick of this happening

[deoidesign]

I can't wait for this to come back!!! >>> when is this coming back?

[thelikesoffinn]

So what are we saying, are the Maze Runner books nice? Worth the read?

[crimeronan]

side effect of having my hydroxychloroquine work really well is that i'm forgetting what it felt like to be Really Horrifically Sick. both because of the emotional distance and because of my general memory issues. the memory issues are a LOT worse concerning Times When I Was Horrifically Sick.

so i'm actually pretty grateful to my past self for the amount of time i spent oversharing here. if i scroll back like seven months in my autoimmune tag i can find posts of me essentially going "eh, i'm sleeping for 22 hours a day but i don't really care anymore bc i've accepted i'm gonna die" and "life sux. can't breathe or think or feel my chest but that's constant so i don't wanna go to the ER about it AGAIN" and "docs took 14 vials of blood 4 x-rays several lung images several lung tests and an EKG before i even left the hospital today. even tho they havent gotten my test results back yet" and i'm like god Damn.

I REALLY LIVED LIKE THIS????????

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

'...you know jokes like those actually hurt me, right?'

"who said I was joking?"

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'oh.'

[music-for-them-asses]

Where are the cute guys with similar interests and values who didn't participate in January 6th in my area?? Am I gonna have to start overturning rocks with a stick?? Where the FUCK are they hiding

[divinekangaroo]

What is your thought on the S6 Tommy and Lizzie sex scene, would you consider it to be dispassionate and disconnected, they don't kiss. Does it scream end of a relationship that is long time coming?

I think it looks like grief-stricken lovemaking, and an attempt to connect between people who’ve been married for eight years and having sex for some fifteen years and who just had a daughter die, so possibly passionate sex is not on the cards for a while, and maybe hasn't been on the cards for a long time prior either. 

This sex scene also lands at a time where it's burdened with a massive amount of emotional issues delivered, not just Ruby's death, but Duke's reveal, and Tommy having just been given a terminal diagnosis. Perhaps Tommy feels like he's on some kind of countdown now to find a way to ‘fix’ this tangle of grief and disappointment between him and Lizzie, hence relocating their efforts to a hotel room to try to re-spark something more passionate. 

It seems Tommy always takes the role of sexual initiator with Lizzie: so, given this is not their first time having sex after Ruby's death, this is possibly also one of many attempts by Tommy trying to use sex to provide and receive physical comfort and intimacy. The relocation to the hotel room is trying to let them get through it without Ruby coming into the conversation. Lizzie's got plenty of reasons to be mad at him, and is definitely hurt, but she isn't shunning him or cutting him off from sex. They're both still reaching out for each other in the way they know has worked for them in the past, because I do think they use sex in particular to connect when words tend to trip them up badly.

They're very focused on each other’s faces in this scene, eyes open throughout, close and touching, a full length body press, so I think of how this sex scene is more about proximity and touch, which is intimate and connected.  The lack of kissing doesn't bother me one way or the other - I don’t really think of them kissing much, more touching /nuzzling. They don’t ever kiss in greeting the way some couples do, but they do embrace and usually touch/press faces. 

On whether a (tired, trying-to-connect) sex scene screams the end of a relationship a long time coming, I think they did a great job in S6 of playing the relationship dynamic as so very complex, you can never quite tell if a break up will or won’t be inevitable.  But that complexity, I find, is more in the dialogue and their other non-sexual physical touches, not this sex scene alone.  If there were a sliding scale as to ‘doomed relationship’ vs ‘fragile/imbalanced but ongoing relationship’, I’d put the sex scene on the ‘ongoing relationship’ side. I find it sweet and intimate and sad, and very middle-aged married couple, and they're both ok being a little bit pathetic with each other in favour of still making that effort to hold each other.

[i3utterflyeffect]

By the kickstarter stickman, I mean the one that shows up in this video, it’s the first 36 seconds, afterwards it’s just Alan explaining kickstarter stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwofhyizvnA

And as something to add to hangman, in response to a comment saying “Bruh for a moment I thought he was gonna start choking but guess not”, Alan replied with “yeah... we thought it might be too dark if he started choking”. They might not be choking but they could’ve been, just an idea to chew on <3

i keep forgetting that Alan made ava 1 when he was like, 13, it's so unreal seeing his face in that video because what the fuck this guy is a full-on adult in current day. all the videos i see are more current day. what the hell who is that he looks my age or even younger that should NOT be allowed

no thoughts on the kickstarter stick in particular though. seems like a typical ava stick pre-current era. really love that he went a completely different direction for sc though.

and also. oh my god. yeah no i wonder why that would have been too dark <- deeply horrified by the idea of that

[feelbetterlove-books]

Okay Idk how much I'm going to engage with posts about tonight's episode or even Bucktommy in general atm because I am devastated by what happened and honestly the more I think about it the more pissed off I get, so it would probably be better for me to not...but ily Bucktommy Nation I hate that we're here rn

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

not my online friend trying to have the "not all zionists" conversation with me rn

[fondfamilies]

when the show starts gideon's had time off for ptsd he buries it deep down & carries on & makes himself work with it, then when his little guy gets it too he passes on some shitty advice & otherwise (as much as we see) stays silent about it. then it all gets to gideon (you know, because he doesn't deal with it or take it seriously as far as we see) & he quits, leaving reid to keep working with ptsd & the bad advice. i love gideon but maybe it was good for reid to see that his mental health management was perhaps something to not take to heart too much hahah

[krshush]

There are certain ways my brain is autocannibalizing that just. It Just.

[the-yearning-astronaut]

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[gloriousmonsters]

read camp dama.scus. enjoyed some stuff, really wish i didn't have the experience so often reading a book that's Good and Progressive and about Queer Affirmation etc of feeling like i'm side-eying the author like 'and you know that delineating the people that oppose you as pure evil that therefore deserves torture or death or being eliminated from society entirely is bad, right? you know that, right??'

[kelbunny]

Can things just stop breaking and falling apart please. I just want people to see my art and analysies.

I'm tired, I hate this, and I want to break something.

[bibiana112]

I too wish that the medical hack that made me grow up in a purgatory like state of existence would rot in prison Akane was so real for this

[fallowhearth]

Have spent my annual leave today catching up on administrative things related to my mum's legal docs and my brother's long term care plan. My brother has been doing great since my mum retired, he's much happier and making huge strides in expanding his life skills. Mum now has all day to devote to incredibly long and complicated forms, beaurocracy, and wrangling what meagre services are available. Not to mention the extra time she can spend with him. It really brings home how cruel and precarious the current state of affairs for disabled people is.

If you are disabled, the government relies upon you having a relative who has the energy, time, resources, aptitude, etc to take on a second unpaid full-time job as your carer. It relies upon you having replacement relatives to step in if your original carer gets old, sick, or disabled themselves. If you don't have such a relative handy, then go fuck yourself. There is no backup plan.