#//plus the weather is making my sore muscles feel even worse

[lionheartedscout]

//when I finally get my energy back, it’s OVER for y’all lmaooo

[unnuevosoltransformalarealidad]

New York

Summary: You’ve planned a holiday with your best friend but an unfortunate (and nasty) cold changed the plans Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader Square: New York for Tell Me A Story Bingo of @supernatural-jackles Warnings: Cold, fever, coughing, sick!reader, ruined vacations, Jensen is the perfect best friend, vomiting (mention) Word Count: 1372 A/N: Part of this story is based on real-life experiences. I’ve never been to New York so anything informed here may not be accurate. All of it was found on Google.

^

You've been planning this vacation for the past six months. You've been dreaming to travel to New York your whole life, but between school, then college, then adulting, basically it was impossible for you to do it; it was a dream you’ve never accomplished.

You were going to meet with Jensen, your best friend in Texas and from there you two were going to travel to New York. Jensen was doing this as a gift for you, mostly because he wanted you to let out all the stress you’ve been gaining in the past months. You were planning to leave at the beginning of April because your holidays were 14 days long and you weren���t going to lose any day without exploring New York. You were really excited about this trip. You’ve been waiting for it for a long time, it was a matter of time until you could see your dream came true.  You met with Jensen in Texas a few days before leaving, there were a few things he needed to finish and you still had an important job interview you needed to attend to. You packed the things you had left there the last time you visited him, double-checking everything was packed before closing the suitcase. The plan was to get checked in at the hotel before Monday morning due to your interview. 

The flight from Texas to New York City was five hours, not too long but neither too short. Jensen and you decided it was best to travel over the weekend, arriving in New York City on a Sunday afternoon.  You were exhausted after the trip, your body felt like you’ve been traveling for 24 hours instead of five. As soon as you got in your shared room with Jensen, you went directly to the bed and slumped in it. -Tired, sweetheart? -Give me five minutes and I’ll be fine — you said rolling on the bed -Let’s stay in and order room service. Just relax for a bit — Jensen offered you -You sure? — he nodded -Go shower, it’ll help you. -Thanks, Jens — you said and left to shower. 

The following day, you woke up early and extremely tired. You were too anxious to sleep, to keep yourself together. You ended up getting just a few hours of sleep and getting up way too early for your liking. A few hours later, Jensen woke up too. -Already up? Someone is excited — he joked -Couldn’t sleep, too anxious — you explained biting your nails -You’ll be fine, don’t worry — he kissed your forehead before going to shower

Once the meeting was over, Jensen and you went out to have breakfast. You were less anxious than earlier, but still, your body was processing it. Jensen noticed it, so he tried to keep your mind distracted to help you. -So, how was the meeting? — he asked curiously -I think it went pretty well, they wanted to know my language level and if I was able to engage in a conversation — you explained — now, I’ll have to wait -I’m sure you did amazing -I hope so After breakfast, Jensen took you to Central Park. You were in love, that place was everything you’ve dreamed of. It was beyond amazing. The rest of the day you went sightseeing and meeting “touristic places”. You were grateful Jensen took you on this vacation, you were starting to relax, and was just day one. That night you went to Broadway, not to watch any play but to meet the place. The night was cold so you went back to your hotel early Back at your hotel room, you showered, put on your pjs, and went to sleep. The first night went lovely, you were excited about what was about to come. You didn’t have much planned what you were going to do, but you knew you were ready to enjoy it.

The next day, you woke up shivering and your bedsheets were drenched, that wasn’t a good sign. You showered again and went to sleep again. Luckily, you were sleeping alone because Jensen wouldn’t have let you hear the end of this. When you woke up again, Jensen was already up and finishing getting ready, unlike you, you had a growing headache, your nose was running and your throat was starting to ache. You knew it was a matter of time until you ended up sick -Hey, you’re up. I was about to wake you — he said -I’ll be ready in five — you said and he looked at you -Are you feeling okay? -Yeah, it’s just an allergy, must be the weather changes. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine — you said going to the bathroom. Just as you were exiting the bathroom you had a sneezing fit, you could feel Jensen’s worried look. -You sure are okay? — he asked you handing you a tissue -Yes, Jens. Like I said, allergy season You left for breakfast and then you were going to walk around Times Square and have some lunch there.  Since you ended breakfast, went to Times Square, and then having lunch you started to feel a lot worse. Your headache became a pounding headache where the sunlight bothered you making you sneeze every time it hit your face. Your throat was raspy and dry, hurting enough every time you talked.  You could see the way Jensen looked at you every time you sneezed or when the sun hit you on the face, you knew he was worried about you. -Let’s head back to the hotel and we can come back at night -Can we go to the Rockefeller Center? — you asked him -We can do that, sweetheart. Let’s go back to the hotel so we can change to warm clothing and then we head there, ok? — you simply smiled and nodded You knew what he was doing, and to be honest with yourself, you just wanted to lay down. Your body was starting to ache.

When you arrived at the hotel, Jensen offered you to shower first, which you gladly accepted. You made sure to put the water as hot as your skin could resist, you needed to relax your sore muscles to keep going on the rest of the day.] When you finished and left the bathroom, you were shivering, you thought it was because the room was a lot cooler than the bathroom. You put on some comfy clothes and laid on your bed to watch some tv until Jensen finished. You hadn’t realized you’d fallen asleep if it wasn’t for Jensen waking you up -Sweetheart, you ok? -Mhm? — you were confused, your felt like your head was going to explode -You are shivering and you were whimpering You tried to sit up when a wave of nausea hit you and you were running to the bathroom. Jensen was right next to you holding your hair and drawing soothing circles on your back. When you finished, he handed you a glass of water and flushed the toilet. He helped you to get up and brush your teeth. Then he carried you bridal style to your bed again. He laid you there and went back to the bathroom, coming back a minute later with a thermometer in hand. After some minutes, the thermometer beeped and read 101. If you wouldn’t have come back, you definitely were going to be a lot worse. -Honey, why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling fine? -I told you, it’s allergy season. Plus the jet lag and the trip and everything else. It was going to happen — you explained You knew that fighting with Jensen to continue this journey was useless, so you let him take care of you. Jensen and you ended up coming back to Texas just after spending three days in New York. The rest of your break, you spend it with Jensen at his house taking care of you.

Even though it wasn’t as you had planned to spend your holidays, you were with Jensen and that was a lot more than you could’ve asked. He was amazing and you were grateful to have him in your life.

Tag List (is open, you can ask to be added)

@iguessweallcrazyithinktho | @thevelvetseries | @mrspeacem1nusone | @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem | @caplanreads | @akshi8278 | 

[buckleysjareau]

masterpost of all of my fics

!hey hey, here’s mostly everything i’ve ever written for 9-1-1 and Criminal Minds. Reblog if you like any of them, and always come back to check and see if it’s updated. It’ll always be pinned. :) Everything under the read more line!

AO3: 9-1-1

Buck Goes To Pride (buddie, getting together)

Thinking back to that cold winter afternoon when Buck broke down in her arms after the shit show that was his coming out, she never thought she'd be helping her brother get ready for Pride. He shut that part of himself away for a long time. But eleven years later, she's handing her brother a box with a pride flag in it, and he's grinning from ear to ear.

Buck goes to his first pride featuring his journey of coming out, lots of hugging, and Hen being the best.

...or you could have mine? (buddie, pre-relatioship)

There's too much going on between his agitation, people talking over each other, the way his uniform feels more scratchy than it ever has, and the bright lights. He can't sit still and he knows he's starting to annoy everyone but he can't help it no matter how much he wishes he could with his medication.

ADHD Buck

agree to disagree (buddie, getting together, friendship)

Whoever thought a night of heavy drinking between Buck, Eddie and Chimney was a good idea, were out of their minds. When sober, they were idiots but shot after shot of tequila plus the couple of beers they each had before meeting up multiplied the absolute stupidity of the three men.

Buck, Eddie, and Chimney get wasted and Athena wins a bet.

i put a spell on you (buddie, getting together)

Eddie Diaz absolutely loved Halloween. Ever since he was an excitable eight year old boy he’d been known to go all out for the holiday. Twenty-four years and a son had not changed that.

4k+ words of Eddie being happy, scaring his friends, and loving Halloween.

baby you know i just wanna leave tonight (buddie, pre-relationship)

If there was one thing that people knew about Evan Buckley, it was that he didn’t want people to know him.

People find out more about Buck then he ever wanted them to know when the Buckley’s come to town.

i woke up from a never ending dream (buddie, getting together)

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

Sensing the urgency, Eddie jogs the rest of the way. He doesn’t know what he’s really expecting, his mind not entirely focused, but for the second time that night, Buck surprises him.

“Buck?!”

Where Buck is going through it and Eddie has anxiety but they help each other through it. Featuring pet names and lovesick Eddie.

you feel like the sun on my face (buddie, established relationship)

Buck has a way of doing things and saying things that even in Eddie’s worst moods, he still can’t fight his smile.

Eddie's view on Buck's Wikipedia spirals and the beginning of the brilliant idea it inspires.

Part 1 of 3 in the ‘cause of i’m not too far and you’re my favorite place series

you feel like the perfect escape now (buddie, established relationship)

"In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness."

Eddie planning his proposal with the help of Hen and Karen. Featuring good ol' Buck and Chimney banter, soft and in love boyfriends, and tooth rotting fluff.

Part 2 of 3 in the ‘cause i’m not too far and you’re my favorite place series

everything is blue (may + buck friendship, buddie, getting together)

When Evan Buckley is ten, he discovers nail polish.

In which Buck paints his nails, Eddie is flustered, and May is a matchmaker.

it weighs on me (buddie, established relationship)

The bad weather is gone, except it’s not.

In which Buck has a bad day and Eddie holds him through it.

101.9 (buddie, getting together)

Evan Buckley did not get sick.

Based on a tumblr prompt where Buck’s fever won’t fuck off so Eddie makes him take a cold bath.

when i’m walking in my sleep (buddie, getting together)

He finds that maybe he’s a little in over his head when Buck greets him with a loopy smile. He’s just a tiny bit in love with Evan Buckley, and having dealt with post-surgery Buck before, Eddie is sure his heart might burst with every zany grin and stage-whispered expression of appreciation.

Eddie takes care of a loopy Buck after he gets his screws removed, and truths come out.

you’re in my heart  (buddie, established relationship)

"I will not be broken... I will not be... fine, fine, you win! Stop with the face."

Eddie sings Buck to sleep after he finds out Eddie can sing.

we’ll be fine, you and i (buddie, established relationship)

He couldn’t believe his luck. He never imagined he’d be able to have this and now, he’s here. He has everything he could ask for and more in his boyfriend’s arms. Stability, happiness, love.

dizzy hurricane (buddie, pre-relationship)

“I’m a medic,” Buck mocks. “You’re a medic, but you can’t take care of yourself, apparently!”

Eddie refuses to admit he’s sick and finds his medic expertise is unreliable when it comes to himself.

tongue forgot the words and feet forgot the earth, it’s true (buddie, established relationship)

Eddie feels like he’s drowning in insurance payments, tuition raises, overbearing parents and anxiety. Things had definitely been worse on him when he didn’t have a whole new support system on his side but things just kept piling on, one after another, it was impossible for him not to feel suffocated. Every muscle in his body was sore from being completely tensed all of the time, the lack of sleep was getting to him, he’s in a foul mood to everyone that loves him. He just wants a break, needs a break.

Eddie finally gets a second to breathe.

you are my glitter and my gloom, i am so numb without you (buddie, getting together)

But right now, with Eddie by his side, he doesn’t worry. For the first time in almost a year, he doesn’t have to worry.

Buck has a flashback, or six, after the landslide. Eddie is there to bring him back, like always.

double vision wrapped in last night’s party clothes (buck centric, pre-relationship buddie)

"I have always been honest with you." When Eddie's voice cracks, Buck's composure almost cracks with it. "Why can't you just be honest with me?"

When Buck is let in on a long kept family secret, he doesn't know what to do. He almost ruins things with the one person that keeps him from feeling like he's floating away with no way to land, but it ultimately turns out okay with help of a little communication.

safe, better keep that thought to yourself (madney)

But days after, he still can’t stop hearing it in his head, over and over.

I love you, Howie. I love you, Howie. I love you, Howie. I love you, Howie.

with friends like ours anywhere is home (buck & tk, background buddie)

[@evanbuckley: you have two new follow requests.] @marjanmarwani would like to follow you. @tkstrand would like to follow you.

@tkstrand liked your photo. @tkstrand liked your photo. @tkstrand liked your video.

@tkstrand So, I see you have a boyfriend, too. I’m sorry for assuming haha

Wait, what?

Buck and TK’s long distance friendship featuring love advice, horrible nicknames and background Buddie.

wish i could keep you in amber, safe from the outside (buddie)

Neither of them say anything as Eddie takes shelter in Buck’s arms, face tucked in the crook of his neck, sheltered from all the bad that’s happened. A safe place.

He can only hope that he’s Buck’s safe place, too.

In which Eddie and Buck are struggling after the shooting and they finally have a much needed talk.

AO3: Criminal Minds

you light my fire (jemily, AU)

Emily's face stays complacent as JJ reaches out her hand to shake, only dropping the smug act and smiling genuinely when she reaches for JJ's hand. "Welcome to the team, Pennsylvania Petite."

Jemily Firefighter AU

Tumblr: 9-1-1

“i saw this and i thought of you immediately.” (buddie)

keep you warm (henren)

wheels up, buck (9-1-1, criminal minds crossover)

stand, you’re gonna run again (buck centric, buck & bobby)

bows and ribbons and glitter (buck & chimney, madney) 

“i believe that would be murder” (buddie, pre-relationship)

mac-and-cheesy (buddie, established relationship)

his saving grace (buddie, pre-relationship, buck centric)

what i love about the south (pre-relationship buddie)

unconditional, unadulterated (buddie, getting together)

home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling (buck & athena)

he’s special, they’re special (madney, meet-cute)

Tumblr: Criminal Minds

rough nights end in hot chocolate (garvez)

[lilwenney]

looking for affection in all the wrong places (iv)

pairing: will x female!reader warning(s): *to the beat of lil jon’s ‘shots’* angst angst angst angst, alcohol, mentions of smut, people are shit at communicating, adrian  word count: 4k a/n: part i, part ii, part iii / playlist can be found here / woah boy. sad times are upon us. i realized while writing this that i need a friend like cleo. 

One night stands were awkward only if you allowed them to be. They were sloppy, rushes of lust filled with twinges of passion in the moment while the following morning were mostly always filled with regret. (Y/N) could count on two hands the times she had shuffled around a dark, foreign bedroom after a one night stand to find her clothes and leave as soon as possible, because well, she was now sober and sticking around until the sun came up in a stranger's room didn’t seem like an ideal way to spend her Saturday morning. 

But the morning after James’ last party with Will next to her in bed was anything but awkward, for reasons completely unknown. She never thought that laying in bed naked with one of her close friends would somehow be... comfortable? Relaxing? She didn’t know what it was. She thought she was still drunk and her shame hadn’t kicked in yet. 

Her and Will laid in bed at 11 a.m. Saturday morning, laughing as they looked at the photos that everyone had sent to the groupchat either the previous night or that morning. There was a photo of George hanging half-way off the back of the sofa, Ciarán had a birthday hat on, Simon had found (and fixed) the inflatable penis and was cuddling it on the bathroom floor, and there were numerous other photos of them dancing, group shots, or general nonsense like cup-stacking and beer pong.

There was never a time that she felt uncomfortable around Will, even right when they first met. They had met and became instant friends all in the same night. Throughout the years he had seen her naked, held her hair back while she threw up in a bush, they had made out now numerous times before, and now they were a notch in each other’s bedposts, but they laughed that morning like friends. 

Now she felt like she was teetering on the borderline of comfort and attraction. Was she just comfortable being around him, even while naked? Or was there an unspoken feeling deep down that she never acted on? Before, the thought of any of this happening wasn’t even a possibility, and now, they were here. And it happened. 

“I need to shower.” She yawned, locking her phone back and placing it on the nightstand. 

Will looked at the time on his phone and nodded, then yawning after her, “me too. You mind if I shower here?” 

“Ah, don’t care. You have clean clothes here from the last time you were over.” 

“When was that?”

“When Gee beat you at Monopoly and you left to stay here for the night.” There was a running theme here - Will was just really bad at board games and he was also a sore loser. 

“She cheated, y’know!” 

She shook her head with a smile, “whatever you say, love.” 

Will kicked his legs out from under the duvet and over the edge of bed, and when he stood up, she saw his butt in full view for the first time. “Oh my god you have a boy butt!” She shouted as he grabbed his briefs from the floor and slid them on. 

He turned around and looked at her with an amused expression, but a scrunched brow. “What are you waffling about?” 

Her bedroom was dark when they stumbled inside, neither of them willing to break away for just a second to flip on a light. Now she caught a glimpse of his behind for the first time and let out a small squeak in laughter. 

“Boy butts are weird Will. You have a long torso and such a little butt.” 

“Little butt?” He asked, shocked. “I have a perfectly plump bottom thank you.” 

She laughed, throwing the covers over her head, “just go take a shower.” 

Will shuffled around, grabbing his clothes so he could leave the room (without scarring Cleo), and he laughed before playfully throwing his jacket on top of (Y/N) as she remained under the covers. She giggled and uncovered her face as he walked out of the room, the door clicking shut behind him. 

A few minutes after Will left, she got out of bed and got into the showering in her adjoining bathroom. Steam filled the tiled room as hot water poured down her back and washed away sweat and body glitter, the scent of berries filling the bathroom and her nose, allowing her to finally relax her tensed muscles and her shoulders. 

Stepping out of the shower door and wrapping herself in a towel, she opened the door to see the bedroom door ajar, so she knew that Will had come back in. She gave it a second, brushing her teeth before calling out; “Hey,” to see if he was actually in the room with her. When he made a noise back, she asked, “do doughnuts sound good to you right now?” 

“Immensely,” 

“Alright, then we’re getting doughnuts.” 

Within just a few minutes of drying her hair, (Y/N) was in a pair of joggers and a jumper, and her and Will were heading down in the lift to her car. Looking at themselves in the mirror of the lift and taking photos, she had a good laugh at Will’s outfit - black joggers and a baby blue jumper, but a pair of her neon yellow socks were shining underneath the cuff of his joggers. He didn’t leave any socks the last time he was over, so he settled for hers instead. When the lift doors opened to the car park and they stepped out, he told her to piss off and they both slipped into her car. 

For the middle of December that year, London’s weather wasn’t all too bad, except for the cold nights and rain that came around far too often. That afternoon she drove them through the rain, her wipers raking against the windshield almost on the beat to the music Will was playing. What would be a ten minute drive to Shoreditch any other time took them an unsurprising thirty minutes instead due to normal weekend London traffic. 

Sure the nearest place to get doughnuts was literally next door to her flat, but where she was taking Will was a hidden gem of a doughnut shop, and while (Y/N) loved it, taking thirty minutes to get there did test her patience. And Will’s. He had a low tolerance for traffic on a normal day, so this one was particularly worse, and she ignored his complaints by turning the music volume up and smiling at him in response and he rolled his eyes. 

Right in the middle of Shoreditch was a corner shop painted bright green, standing out among the other buildings in the bleak Winter. She pulled her car along the side of the street and her and Will piled out, stepping onto the pavement and walking across the street to the window. 

“Get whatever you want,” she said, crossing her arms to fight off the cool wind, “I’ll buy since you complained about it the entire time.” 

Will stared at the building, glanced at the menu, and then looked at her. “Didn’t mean to complain, I just don’t trust your taste in gourmet doughnuts.” 

She shot him a look and he tried to hold back a smile before she playfully slapped his arm. “Just go order something,” 

When Will stepped up to the register, eyes scanning over the array of doughnuts behind the glass and began picking and choosing, (Y/N) felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She switched her keys into her other hand and quickly fished out her phone, turning it over to look at the screen, expecting it to be Cleo, to be the groupchat. 

Adrian Russell Are you free today? 

When she first read over the text, she thought that she had misread the name, so she read it back in her head, spelling it out letter by letter until she realized she had not been mistaken. All it took for him to text her was a week and three days since the last time they spoke, nine hours since they were in the same room together. 

Her heart dropped at the realization of what was going on, a sudden heavy weight pushing on her shoulders. He was trying to come back to her. For the most part, she had completely gotten over him since unblocking his number a mere three weeks ago. There were no late nights crying herself to sleep or days spent sulking on the sofa with a mouth full of popcorn because he had yet to text her, instead she found solace in being single and going out with friends and surrounding herself with good people. 

And that was the slow understanding that she was no longer making out with Will at parties to make Adrian jealous. She was making out with Will because she wanted to. 

However, there was a twinge of mixed emotions that clouded in her head. She had spent the last year with Adrian, gave him everything she had to offer and more, and a piece of her longed for the familiarity of being with him, but the other half remembered most of the bad in the relationship. She was more in shock, her brain frazzled, trying to figure out what exactly broke the camel’s back for him. 

“Hey,” her head snapped up, watching Will take a step back from the window. 

“Oh,” she breathed out before looking at the cashier, “sorry.” 

(Y/N) quickly pocketed her phone and stepped forward, rambling out her usual order plus an additional few. Cleo would be pissed if she didn’t bring back one for her specifically, so she made sure to add in a few extra. 

Will took notice of her bouncing on her toes, one of her nervous habits. “You okay?” He asked when she finished her order and she nodded, but didn’t meet his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” 

Picking up the folded boxes of sweets, Will watched on while she tapped her card and paid for their food. He decided it wasn’t worth it, running the good mood they were having that morning, so he let go of her nervous mannerisms and they walked back to her car. 

Unlocking the doors from a distance, trying to combat the rain, they jogged quickly across the street and slid back inside to their seats. Will held the doughnut boxes in his lap, adjusting his seat-belt while (Y/N) turned on the engine and turned on the heat. 

“So how about a coffee?” He finally asked when she slid on her own seat-belt. 

She hummed, sitting back in her seat. “There is a Costa nearby, yeah?” 

“Yeah, yeah, think so,” he nodded, “oh, and I got it this time, don’t worry.” When she didn’t say anything for a second, he turned his head to look at her, and she was smiling. “What’s that grin for?” 

“Do you even know my Costa order?” 

Will licked his lips and read off the order from memory, “regular iced latte with almond milk.” He said it with such certainty. It had been well over a year, but he still remembered her order from the time they had Costa delivered to his flat. She was persistent with the almond milk after all. 

Her smile grew even wider. She cared about the little things, that’s what made her happy. And Will remembering her coffee order was definitely one of those little things. “Damned you, what’s your order? I feel like a right shit friend.” 

“That’s for you to figure out and memorize yourself. Not playin’ easy here.” 

“Oh piss off,” she laughed again before pulling her car onto the street. 

***

It was rare for the friend group to hang out more than twice a week, and it was even more rare for the friend group to see each other more than three times in five days unless they were on holiday. But (Y/N) and Will became the exception; a Friday night party, a Saturday morning doughnut and coffee run, a Monday movie night at hers, and a Wednesday game night at his. 

He called her earlier in the day and she came around a few hours later, they had take-out and a few beers and then ultimately settled on playing video games that Will knew he would 100% beat her at. 

“This is all just muscle memory, love,” 

“Oh fuck off with that,” she cursed loudly, stretching her foot to the side to nudge his controller in attempt to throw him off. But Will was too quick, dodging her at the last second and crossing the finish line just inches ahead of her. A groan of agony followed a cheerful shout, then belly laughter at their drastically different reactions. 

She looked at Will as he tossed his controller down, hands thrown in the air in rejoice. In a bout of 2-out-of-3, Will had come out victorious with a last second pull away, securing his second win of the three races, and he celebrated by teasing, poking her cheek as he called out, “I told you I was gonna win!” 

While he was quite literally the only person on this planet who could annoy her, she was now realizing just how much she took these moments for granted. No weekends spent together or holidays with friends abroad was like this - it was just them in the most natural environment possible. 

Luckily for her, Will was starting to feel the same way. He found himself waking up in the mornings with his mind immediately on her, wondering what she was doing, wondering if there was a way he could see her. The days he was used to spending alone in his room editing until the early hours were no longer. His fingers always found her number in his phone. 

He didn’t understand it, really. How a friend for years was always just a friend until one night. 

Moving her legs from his lap, she allowed him to stand and stretch his long limbs. They had been playing games for a while - at first it was FIFA, that he absolutely destroyed her at until it was no longer fun, and then they switched to Mario Kart, which he was also having a blast beating her at. Video games were the only way he could beat her at a game, and she did well at reminding him of all the times he went bankrupt in Monopoly. 

“Want a beer?” He asked rounding the edge of the sofa, heading towards the kitchen.

She nodded while still focused on the screen, changing the color of Yoshi for the next race, “yes please.” 

After changing the color of Yoshi back to green, she was picky, she placed the controller down on her lap and waited for Will to walk back in. Her attention was elsewhere when she felt a phone vibrate on the sofa, and she immediately started to look for her own phone, but saw that it was Will’s phone instead - the screen lit up on the cushion next to her leg. 

It was a harmless glance, one she didn’t even really mean until she realized it far too late that it wasn’t her phone, but her stomach had already dropped. 

Hanna Day Missing you x

And just like that, they were coming back around. 

In all fairness, it took Hanna a few more days after the last party in comparison to Adrian’s handful of hours after. And (Y/N) rolled her eyes, trying to push out the idea of the girl that floated in her head. 

It was to no one’s surprise that Hanna and (Y/N) hadn’t got along well while Hanna and Will were dating. Hanna was the type to be your best friend one second, and then be behind your back the next, and everyone close to Will knew that, specifically the girl friends he had for years. Hanna was never fond of her boyfriend’s best friend, because there were always questions that revolved around their status as “just friends.” Just like how Adrian questioned it, too. 

But (Y/N) and Will’s friendship wasn’t even particularly new, they had been friends for years after meeting at Fabric, a London nightclub, just months after they both moved to the city. They met through Gee, Will’s flatmate, and by the end of the night (Y/N) was helping Will find his keys on the sticky nightclub dance floor and then wound up asleep on his sofa. And they were close ever since. 

It was the summer following their meeting that they crossed the line of “friends” while in Barcelona, but it was a line they never crossed again once returning to London. And it wasn’t much longer after than that, she and Adrian met through James and began dating, and then a handful of months later, Hanna and Will started dating too. So there was never any true reason for Hanna to dislike her - she just didn’t like the fact that Will had other female friends with a history of being close. For her own insecure reasons, (Y/N) assumed. 

“Was that mine?” Will asked, coming back from the kitchen, handing (Y/N) one of the uncapped beers he brought from the refrigerator. 

She nodded, immediately taking a sip before replying, “yeah, think so.” 

Out the corner of her eye, she watched Will sit back onto the sofa and reach for his phone, but his expression didn’t change after seeing the name across his screen. Deciding she didn’t want to know if he was replying or not, she focused back on the telly screen, flipping through the colors of her character again to occupy herself. 

“It’s Hanna,” was all he said before locking his phone back, placing it on the coffee table, now upside down. 

She played it off like she hadn’t seen it, raising a brow, “yeah?” 

Will hummed as he sat back against the cushion, immediately choosing his character and allowing the screen to move on. He didn’t say anything else, leaving it at that, but she felt obligated to say something. 

“Adrian texted me too,”

Will glanced at her hastily, “when?” 

She let out a deep breath, not meeting his eyes but watching the screen count down to one again before their race started, finding herself in an awkward limbo of telling him the truth or lying for the sake of whatever was going on between them. She knew that she should have told him before now, that she should have on Saturday, but she felt like it would have ruined everything. If she had told him right then, she doubted if he would have even come over Monday, if she would be on his sofa right now.

After all, they got what they wanted, right? They won. But it was feeling much more complicated than that. 

“Saturday,” she blurted out.

Will didn’t say anything for a moment, playing it off as focusing on the race instead of the thoughts racking his brain. He remembered Saturday afternoon in Shoreditch - sitting in her car eating doughnuts and drinking coffee on the side of the street while rain pattered down onto the roof, them laughing and listening to music while talking about anything that came to mind. And he remembered thinking at the time that her mind seemed elsewhere, but he decided not to push it for the sake of ruining their time together. 

It then clicked in his head that that was when Adrian texted her, when she looked like she saw a ghost at the doughnut shop.

“Yeah?” He asked casually. “Did you text him back?” 

She shook her head, “no,” 

There was a second of pause between them.

“Are you going to text her back?” 

But there wasn’t any hesitation for Will’s answer, “no,”

Later that night, after a few more games of Mario Kart, (Y/N) slumped back into her flat in Poplar. The door clicked shut and she tossed her keys down onto the foyer table, her ears picking up the sound of music coming from down the hallway. She followed the sounds to Cleo’s bedroom. Cleo didn’t even look up from her laptop, where she was writing an already extremely late paper for her history of cinematic fashion course, to see her flatmate fall face first into the duvet next to her. 

A few minutes passed and Cleo finished up her paragraph before asking, “and how are you?” 

“Don’t know, honestly,” she replied, voice muffled by the material of the duvet. 

“And that is because?” 

“I don’t know what I’m feeling on the inside.” 

Cleo leaned forward and sat her laptop on the bed, her attention now away from the linen skirts of a 17th century period piece and onto her flatmate, who at this time, hasn’t caught a break in two weeks. 

“You were at Will’s flat, yeah?” Cleo received just a nod in response before (Y/N) rolled over, head resting on her friend’s thigh. “So what happened?” 

“Everything was going really well, and then Hanna texted him.” 

“Hanna? Hanna Day?” 

She huffed. “Yeah, she was telling him that she missed him. I accidentally read it and now I wish I hadn’t read it because I feel sad.” 

Cleo reached down, running fingers across her cheek and then moving to play with her hair. “And why do you feel sad?” 

(Y/N) stared at the ceiling, opening herself up and releasing the feelings she had kept inside for the last few hours. It was hard for her to keep things in, but this was something she couldn’t particularly explain easily. Especially to Will. 

“I don’t know, really,” her voice was like a whisper, “I think - I think it’s because I’m scared he’ll go back to her. What we are doing is just something dumb to make them jealous, at first it was anyways..” 

Cleo frowned, feeling where the conversation was going. She hated seeing her best friend fall into a mess of feelings, but sometimes, it just happened, whether you wanted it or not.

“And now I don’t want it to stop. But I don’t want to do it just to make them jealous.” 

“Because you like him,” Cleo said softly. 

Her eyes drifted closed and she focused on the feeling of Cleo’s fingers then smoothing at her hair, and then running through the strands again, and she nodded. “Yeah,” she admitted, “because I like him.” 

Cleo was always the logical one of the two when it came to feelings. She liked to listen and then talk things through, so a lot of their friends relied on her for her wisdom in times of need. This was one of those moments.

“You wanted a sweet moment of revenge, but what you wound up with was an ex-boyfriend who texts you while you gained feelings for quite literally the only person you’re not supposed to have feelings for.” 

“I didn’t bloody mean to gain feelings for him.” She said harshly. “But it’s just nice - I don’t know, it’s nice that what I feel around Will is new, and it’s refreshing.”

“You were looking for that feeling in the wrong place, because you got yourself into quite a mess.” There was the brutal honesty, but it was what needed to be said. “But don’t beat yourself up over it, your feelings are just messed up and it’s understandable.” 

“What should I do?” 

Cleo let out a small breath, twirling the stands between her fingers. “First, I think you need to talk to him.” 

“I can’t talk to him about this. It’s embarrassin’.” 

The blonde sighed again, shaking her head at her friend’s stubbornness. “And then you need to figure out what you want.”

“It just sucks,” she said again and Cleo nodded, leaning down and placing her head on her arm, kissing the skin of her shoulder. 

“I know it does, I know it does,” she whispered, and their conversation died down, the music continuing on for them. 

[kloxbian]

Like a Devil in Disguise

Synopsis:

Scattered on every wall of her cell was a sketch of someone’s face from the Ark. Her mother. Jaha. Kane. Pike. Bellamy. Anyone she’d known on the ground. She wrote the same message beneath all of their faces. The same one was written on the ground.

She wrote it in Trigedasleng, but she wrote a translation beneath the one on the floor.

Yu laik ste daun kom nau. You’re already dead.

It was a death warrant. One they signed the moment they touched the ground.

-

Clarke gets sent back in time for inexplicable reasons and all she wants is to be reunited with her Heda. No matter what it takes.

WARNINGS:

One: This story is very dark. It includes ruthless murder, animal death, people death, and people enjoying murder. If this bothers you, I would recommend you don’t read. 

Two: This contains themes of possessiveness. Though it is consensual, the consent is not referenced until toward the end. If someone thinking about another person like they own them is sensitive, don’t read.

Three: The end contains sexual references. There are no graphic scenes, but it references sex. 

Additional Notes: This story was inspired by two other works. The first is ‘Returning to Hell’ by ElseworldKara and littleraider99, one that I’ve referenced many times because it’s so fucking good. If you like this, definitely go read it. The second is 'I am Wanheda’ by TwilightQueenMZ. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it centers around a concept very similar to this. Again, if you like this, go and read that.

A couple of trig phrases I didn’t put the translations to in story: (ai) fleim - (my) flame Kongeda - coalition Faya kom ai tombom - fire of my heart Lukot - Friend Slogen goufa - lazy child

-

Clarke opened her eyes to dim UV lights.

 Her body was sore all over, whether it be from the fight she’d just been in or from lying on a metal floor, she didn’t know. The last thing she could remember was Bellamy, crying over her after shooting her through the heart.

 Crying over the death of his enemy.

 Weak.

 It was a shame she had fallen to someone so cowardly.

 None of it mattered now, anyway. Not when she was locked up in solitary confinement again.

 How exactly was she here? She had no idea. She had a funny feeling Wanheda played a role in it, and perhaps some of her fellow spirits, but she couldn’t be certain. Wanheda never spoke. All she sent were vague feelings.

 Clarke picked up the charcoal that was lying on the floor next to her, looking at the walls. She’d been sent back close to when the hundred were sent down. Good. She wouldn’t have to wait long.

 She tossed the charcoal aside. Drawing was for peace. Wanheda is the opposite of peace. 

 Her body was severely lacking. The muscle she’d built up had all disappeared, and her skin was pale and unblemished. All signs of her previous life were gone. It would take a while to build back up to where she’d been, but she would have to make do.

 Days passed in a flurry. She spent as much time every day as she could trying to increase her strength. She’d need it on the ground, and the feeling of flimsy, breakable limbs was discomforting.

 When the final day rolled around, she had gotten nowhere. 

 She spent that last day writing out her messages to the council.

 Scattered on every wall of her cell was a sketch of someone’s face from the Ark. Her mother. Jaha. Kane. Pike. Bellamy. Anyone she’d known on the ground. She wrote the same message beneath all of their faces. The same one was written on the ground. 

 She wrote it in Trigedasleng, but she wrote a translation beneath the one on the floor.

 Yu laik ste daun kom nau.

 You’re already dead.

 It was a death warrant. One they signed the moment they touched the ground.

 One they signed for being so damn arrogant in believing the entire world belonged to them, disregarding the twelve tribes of the Kongeda.

 It had been a fatal mistake on their part.

 It would likely be so again.

 The guards burst through the door and demanded to face the wall with her hands up. Clarke complied. Wanheda spat furiously inside her at the undeserved compliance, but she knew it was necessary. They both had something they wanted on the ground, and they would get it.

 A bit of pride was worth sacrificing to see their flame again. Their faya kom ai tombom. Their flame lived again, and nothing on heaven or earth could stop them from getting to her.

 She was marched out of the cell, though she could see the guards looking warily at her message. She stared straight ahead, ignoring the other delinquents. Her mother was waiting by the entrance to the ship. Waiting for her. Waiting to say her goodbyes.

 Ha. Like that would happen.

 Clarke slipped to the other side of the line, hiding from her mother’s view until she walked in past her without her so much as noticing. The observation skills of these people were horrid.

 She took her seat. Wells sat down beside her a minute later. He tried to talk to her. She ignored him.

 Actually, on second thought, he wasn’t deserving of her hatred. He’d never done anything to harm her or her flaim. Well, he’d never actually known her flaim, but he was kind. He would never hurt anyone. Especially not Clarke’s mate.

 “Wells.” He stopped talking about whatever it was he’d been going on about. “I know you didn’t kill my father.”

 He blinked. “You do?”

 “Sh-yes.” Damn. It had been too long since she’d spoken English. She would have to be careful not to slip back into the familiar tongue of Trig. “Thank you, Wells. For trying to protect me. You’re a good friend.”

 Wells smiled nervously. Something about Clarke put him off; something about her felt almost… inhuman. Wrong. This wasn’t the same girl he’d known before. The cold glint in her eyes made that obvious. Still, she was his friend, and he wouldn’t let this waver him. “Of course, Clarke. You’re my best friend. I would never hurt you.”

 Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. No one on the Ark could, not without their guns. Guns were not honorable weapons. Even if Wanheda is death, Wanheda is honorable. She despises guns and all that use them.

 The ship jerked, engines humming to life all around them. The doors began to close, and she could hear her mother shouting. For her daughter. For Clarke. Clarke scoffed. For someone so desperate to protect their family, Abby sure did like to send them to certain death.

 The dropship detached from the Ark and began it’s plummet.

 Clarke hadn’t been awake for this last time. Her stomach leaped to her throat as they fell, fire bursting from the thrusters, completely at the mercy of metal machinery. This wasn’t a foe she could fight. She knew that they would be alright, that they would land safely, but it didn’t erase the fear.

 Just like last time, Finn unclipped his harness. Unlike last time, Clarke didn’t care whether or not he died.

 He floated over to her, mocking her, calling her the aggravating name of ‘princess.’ She ignored him. If the behavior persisted on the ground, she might not be able to restrain herself from killing him. Or better yet, restrain Wanheda. He’d suffer far worse at Wanheda’s hands than at Clarke’s.

 The parachutes opened. The entire ship jolted up, sending Finn and the two other boys spiraling through the air. One crashed into the wall, scrambling for something to hold onto, while the other went headfirst into a support beam and blew his own brains out. Finn managed better, grabbing onto the seats and holding himself there.

 They crashed to the ground. The second boy died on impact. Everyone else was alive. Exactly the same as last time. Except this time, Clarke didn’t bother warning them of the dangers of opening the ship. There were none. Even if they were, it was Bellamy. She wasn’t going to help him. Especially not after he murdered her.

 The doors opened. Octavia took the first step outside. Clarke watched from the rungs of the ladder. She’d liked Octavia well enough. She was ruthless when she had to be, strong, fought like a warrior. Would likely have been Indra’s successor. She was reckless, though, and cared too much about her enemies. A good warrior she was, a good leader she was not.

 They’d landed early in the day. The sun had just reached over the peak of the mountains, illuminating the snow-dusted top of Mount Weather. Their supposed target. Not this time. Not for her.

 An expedition still went out for it, though. Just not under her command.

 “You heard my father,” Wells argued. “We have to make it to Mount Weather! We can’t survive out here without it!”

 “Your father also sent us to our deaths,” Clarke deadpanned. “Plus, it’s been almost two centuries. Who knows whether it’s still secure. It might have fallen apart. The food might have rotted. Animals might have gotten in and eaten it all.”

 “It doesn’t have just food! It would be shelter. A place to make a home.”

 Clarke disagreed. Finn did not.

 “Come on, princess, isn’t it worth a shot?” He said, coming up next to her. “As much as I hate to say it, Jaha junior is right. We can’t survive out here.”

 “Then go ahead. Head to the mountain. I won’t be coming with you.”

 They did just that. It was the same people as last time. Wells took Clarke’s place at the head.

 Clarke stayed behind. She sat on one of the rocket thrusters and stared at the trees. Thinking. Plotting. Strategizing about how best to approach the issue of the Trikru. Or, more accurately, how to make both the Trikru and the delinquents cooperate with her.

 She could try and make peace with them. Or force them to.

 Then again, the expedition was already gone. Jasper would likely get stabbed through the stomach again. Simple peace wouldn’t be an option.

 Forced peace? Maybe. They wouldn’t dare disobey Wanheda. She’d just have to convince Heda to follow her plans. Which would mean they would have to offer something.

 Perhaps a few of the more obnoxious kids. A couple deaths ought to satisfy them for a time.

 “Well, don’t you look cheerful.” Clarke’s lip curled. Of course, Bellamy would have to antagonize her. “What, mad that your precious council tossed you out?”

 The look she gave him made him pause. He took a step away from her. She grinned. “Scared of a little girl, guardsman?”

 He scoffed, but the apprehension behind his eyes gave him away. She was glad she could still strike fear into the hearts of men.

 “Now, Bellamy, let me make something clear,” she said, standing up. “I know what you want. You want to protect your precious sister. But that’s not all. You want respect. Power. And you will not be getting it from these people.” She walked to him, watching as he shifted nervously, still standing his ground. “Your age and your gun do not make you superior. If you start causing problems, then we will have a problem. Do you understand?” There were only inches between their faces and she felt disgust rise inside her when his eyes flicked down to her lips. She shoved him on the chest. “Do you understand!?”

 His eyes widened and he nodded. Clarke’s lip curled up in a sneer. “Words, Blake.”

 “You can’t control me, Griffin,” he said, taking a step toward her. She snapped, feeling Wanheda rear her head inside her. “You may think you’re in charge, but you’re not.”

 She laughed. “Not yet. But trust me, you won’t want to get in my way. It will only end badly for you.”

 She unnerved him. It was obvious. But he was stubborn, and not in a good way. “We’ll see about that, princess.”

 That damned nickname. 

 She walked away before he pissed off the spirit of death even more.

 -

 Not much changed.

 The expedition came back a couple of hours later yelling about how someone had speared Jasper through the chest. The entire camp freaked. Clarke only laughed at them. Wells came up to her to relay the full story with Finn, Octavia, and Monty behind him. Her apathy put them on edge. They left her alone.

 She didn’t do much to help the others. During the day, she would leave camp alone. She didn’t have a knife or anything, but she had Wanheda, and that would have to do. She worked on regaining her strength. She caught her own food with her bare hands, using Wanheda’s powers to give it a quick death. She started her own fires outside and cooked her own food. A couple of times Bellamy had asked some of the kids to try and follow her. She’d easily lost them in the brush. She knew these woods better than any of them.

 Her strength was improving, and it surpassed all those in camp. Partially because none of them had ever trained their body, and also because they were starving. Nobody caught anything larger than a rabbit, and the five or ten that were caught each day didn’t feed everyone. They were starting to leave the area as well. The delinquents were loud.

 Nothing new happened past that. Clarke rarely joined with the other prisoners, but she knew she needed them to trust her at least a little bit. So she healed Jasper when he was brought back. She led Finn and Wells away from the acid fog when it came around. She went and retrieved Raven. She organized the construction of the walls, helping to attach the boards of wood. She kept Charlotte from killing Wells and had her punished accordingly, keeping her from dying. It was going well.

 Lincoln once again got them an audience with Anya. Clarke felt her excitement spike. This was what she’d been waiting for. The time she would reveal her identity and demand to see her flaim. Her Heda. 

 She led a small group to the bridge, consisting of Wells, Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln. Bellamy and them could be heard tromping along behind them. She’d deal with them later. As long as they didn’t start shooting her, everything would go well. She was certain. So was Wanheda. And Wanheda was rarely ever wrong.

 Three horses walked out of the trees. Before they could dismount, Clarke began approaching them, holding up a hand to stop the others from following. Anya sat back down on her horse, watching Clarke come closer.

 She stopped a few meters in front. Her lips curled up into a smile. “Ha yun, Onya kom Trikru, Oneda kom Heda (Hello, Anya of Trikru, General of the Commander).”

 Anya narrowed her eyes. “I see Lincoln has been teaching you are ways like the traitor he is.”

 Clarke laughed, a cold, heartless sound. “Yu laik skechi. Linkon don tich ai non nowe (You are wrong. Lincoln has taught me nothing).” She looked up into the woods on the opposite side of the bridge. “En tel yu reinja gon sen daun emo shuda op (And tell your archers to lower their weapons).”

 Anya narrowed her eyes. “Emo ste. Ha don yu get klin oso sleng, gada (They stay. How do you know our language, girl)?”

 Clarke smirked. “Nou meija. Chit ste meija em chon ai laik (Not important. What is important is who I am).”

 “En chon laik yu, gada (And who are you, girl)?”

 Clarke raised her chin. She knew they wouldn’t believe her without proof, but she would enjoy seeing the mirth drain from their faces when she showed her powers. “Ai laik Wanheda, Heda kom wamplei (I am Wanheda, commander of death).”

 As predicted, Anya and her guards laughed. “Leyos. Chon laik yu krei (Funny. Who are you really)?”

 Clarke grinned, teeth bared. “Wanheda.”

 “Beda ai reinja frag yu nowe (Should my archers kill you now)?”

 Clarke didn’t answer, walking closer. Anya drew her sword. Clarke ignored her, reaching out to touch the muzzle of one of her warrior’s steeds. The horse snorted, leaning into her touch. Anya snarled and Clarke smirked at her, eyes glowing blue. The horse’s eyes flickered closed and its legs gave out, collapsing onto the concrete. The warrior leaped off just in time to not be crushed. Clarke stepped back from the dead beast. “Wich ai in nowe (Believe me now)?”

 Anya backed her horse away, lowering her sword and waving for her archers to do the same. She eyed Clarke warily and lowered her head. “Sha, Wanheda. Bosh moba ga nou wich yu in (Yes, Wanheda. Apologies for not believing you).”

 Clarke nodded. “Bosh moba teik in op, Oneda. Bak na op Tondisi en tel yu Heda ai seiso na sin em. Miya sis ai op taim em biyo sha (Apologies accepted, General. Go back to TonDC and tell your commander I request to see her. Fetch me when she agrees).”

 Anya bowed her head. “Sha, Wanheda.” She spun her horse around, shouting commands to the archers to retreat. Clarke watched them go with a smug smile on her face.

 Octavia, Wells, and Raven were looking at her in awed confusion, while Lincoln was incredibly pale. He dropped to a knee before her. “Wanheda.”

 Clarke nodded. “Thank you for all that you’ve done, Lincoln. It will not be forgotten.” He rose back to his feet and nodded in thanks.

 “Wait, woah, what’s going on here?” Octavia pushed between them. “Lincoln, why did they keep calling her Wanheda? What does that mean?”

 Lincoln looked to Clarke for permission. With it granted, he recited a short version of the tale. “Wanheda is one of the most powerful spirits in our culture, right beneath the spirit of the commander. She is the avenger, the angel of death, and will occasionally rule alongside the commander.” Lincoln pointed to the dead horse on the bridge. “She has the power to administer death with a single touch.”

 The skeptical faces were washed away as they looked at the horse, which they had seen die instantly at Clarke’s touch. Clarke ignored their fearful gazes and began the trek back to camp. She looked into the bushes. “Oh, and Bellamy? You can come out. I could hear you trailing us since we left camp.”

 She didn’t stay to hear his words, but she could hear him yelling at her back as she walked away. Wanheda’s anger rose. Clarke knew what she wanted done to him and couldn’t agree more. He’d only be a problem.

 She’d take care of him tonight.

 -

 She announced to the delinquents that she’d come to a temporary agreement with the grounders and would be meeting their commander soon. She then left camp before the others could catch up to her.

 She stayed just on the outskirts all day, watching from the trees. Bellamy was arguing with Octavia about her, no doubt, and her suspicions were confirmed. Bellamy would never accept her as Wanheda. Not ever. He would turn the delinquents against her. She couldn’t have that. She stayed awake in her tent until midnight.

 Entering Bellamy’s tent, she ignored her disgust at his disorderliness. She shook his shoulder to wake him up.

 He blinked up at her in confusion. “Clarke?”

 “Shut up. I need to talk to you.” She backed up to the entrance of the tent, watching him indifferently. He rubbed his eyes, slowly waking up and stumbling out of his bedroll to throw on a shirt and pants. He followed her outside.

 “Clarke, what is it? Did something happen?” She ignored him, leading him out the front gate. Though she’d put up a wall, she’d made sure no guards were established. No one would know it was her.

 He had to walk quickly to keep up with her. “Can you answer me? Is this about what you did on the bridge? Your dead horse act? You speaking the enemy’s language?”

 Clarke turned around, making him stop in his tracks. She tilted her head, watching him for a moment. “Yes. It is. You don’t approve.”

 “Approve?” He laughed. “I don’t believe it. No one can kill something with a single touch. It was a good trick, though. And Lincoln probably taught you the language. No way you could know it just like that.”

 “No, I suppose not.” She walked closer to him, the maniacal glint in her eyes making him take a step back. “But I am Wanheda, the commander of death. I am more powerful than you could ever understand.”

 He laughed. “Just because you convinced a couple of savages that you’re some otherworldly being doesn’t mean I’ll be convinced.”

 She raised her hand and set it on his chest. “Then let me convince you.”

 Her eyes glowed ethereal blue and she felt her entire body tingle, her fingertips prickling. She felt him stiffen under her, his eyes widening as he began to choke. “Clarke, I-”

 “Shhhh,” she purred, leaning close to his face. “This is my revenge, lukot. I only regret that I can’t make you scream.” He gasped for breath, eyes rolling back into his head and collapsing onto the dirt. 

 She brushed herself off and turned back to camp, leaving his body on the trodden ground.

 -

 She heard people shouting from outside.

 Clarke stepped out of her tent, watching the delinquents scatter as Anya rode in, two warriors and a riderless horse behind her. Raven whistled from beside her. “Damn, that grounder’s nice!”

 An amused smirk covered her face. Only Raven.

 Clarke pushed through the wary teens, stepping confidently out of the crowd. Anya bowed her head. “Wanheda. Heda gada biyo laik sha yu kom op (Wanheda. The commander has agreed to your offer).”

 “Os. Gapa laik ain (Good. The horse is mine)?”

 “Sha Wanheda.”

 Clarke nodded, easily mounting the large beast. She looked over the stunned, afraid faces of ‘her’ people. Ha. If this scared them, she couldn’t wait for when they saw her by Heda’s side. 

 She stroked the horse’s neck. It was a black mare, half of a head sticking out of its cheek with large caves and lumps where the skeleton was deformed. It was a sturdy mare, aptly fit for one such as herself. She nodded, turning around and riding out of camp to TonDC with Anya and her guards on her heels.

 -

 They suspected.

 Clarke rode in at the head of the party, ahead of one of the Heda’s most trusted generals. The Trikru knew she wasn’t just some girl. She doubted they thought she was the great spirit of death, but they suspected. She spoke Trigedasleng, she surpassed the generals, she rode one of the most respectable horses they owned.

 Clarke rode to the stables, offering the stablehand her mare’s reins and making straight for the commander’s tent. The guards shifted to block the door. She recognized one of them as Gustus, Lexa’s personal guard.

 Clarke stopped in front of them. “Em Heda ogud gaf ai in (Is the commander ready to see me)?”

 The guards narrowed their eyes. Gustus spoke first. “The commander will not be seeing a Skaikru girl.”

 The Trikru were pushing in around them, hoping for a show. Clarke would give them one.

 She snarled. “I am no mere girl. Answer my question, Gustus kom Trikru, or I will force my way through you.”

 The people around them bristled with excitement. They expected her to fall. She knew that. None of them suspected.

 Anya pushed her way through the crowd, marching up to the guards to tell them of their folly, but Clarke raised a hand and stopped her in her tracks. She shook her head and Anya backed down obediently. It caused quite a reaction.

 Gustus looked to Anya. “Chomouda yu spek disha gada op nowe (Why do you bow to this girl)?”

 Anya shook her head. “Dula chit em biyo, Gostos (Do as she says, Gustus).”

 Gustus looked back to Clarke. She grinned, her eyes glowing blue. “Klir ai auda. Las ste lom (Let me through. Last warning).”

 Gustus’s eyes widened. He dropped to a knee. “Wanheda.” The Trikru around them fell silent and knelt, not willing to risk the wrath of death. Gustus stood and held open the fabric of the tent. She slipped through without so much a word.

 The guards in the tent shifted nervously as she walked past them, but she didn’t care about them. Her fleim sat upon her throne, knife twirling between her fingertips, face masked with dark kohl. She looked up and met Clarke’s eyes and she felt a spark deep within her. Wanheda was elated to finally be before Heda, and if Lexa’s minuscule reaction told her anything, she felt the same from the spirit within her.

 Lexa tilted her head to the side, deeming to speak Clarke’s birth tongue. “You are Wanheda, then?”

 Clarke dipped her head in respect. “Yes, Heda. I am. I come seeking an alliance between our two peoples.”

 “Yes, you are Skaikru.” Lexa stroked her knife up the blade. “You know how things such as these work.”

 “Sha, I do. In return for all of our trouble, I would offer some of our people to you. A sacrifice, for all that we have done and will do.”

 Lexa arched an eyebrow. “All you will do? That does not incline me to accept this offer.”

 “No, it would not. But I know much of my people. Those that you are currently dealing with were sent here because they are criminals. Some have changed their mindset. Some have not. I have no doubt that there will be trouble between us. I only ask that you would treat the crimes of us as if we were one of your people. Namely, not wiping us all out for the actions of a few.” 

 Lexa locked their gazes together and Clarke felt pleasantly hot under her gaze. “Suppose I agree to this. What would I get out of it?”

 “Many things. First and foremost, we can help you take down the Maunon.”

 Lexa sat back. “Really?”

 Clarke’s lips twitched up into a smirk. “We are sister spirits, Heda. Do you accuse me of lying?”

 “No. You speak truth, that much I know. I cannot understand how.”

 “And I will reveal it to you after I have the assurance of my people’s safety.”

 Lexa nodded. “And so you have it.”

 Indra took a step forward. “Heda, teik osir chich fig raun disha op (Commander, let us talk about this).”

 “Nowe, Indra. I have made my decision.” She turned back to Clarke. “We will discuss this after I have my payment.”

 Clarke nodded. “How many, Heda?”

 She tilted her head. “We will start with five.”

 -

 Clarke rode back to camp alone.

 She already had many people in mind for who to give to Lexa. The useless ones. The ones that would get in the way. The selfish ones. The ones whose deaths would be most accepted.

 She rode right through the open gates, the criminals scrambling to get out of her path. She reined her mare in, turning just in front of the dropship to look out at the delinquents. “The commander and I have come to an agreement.”

 Murphy scoffed and stepped toward her, seemingly unafraid of the large, dark, two-headed beast she rode. “And since when were you the one who made decisions around here?”

 “Would you rather I let the commander bring the full force of her armies down on you?” Murphy opened his mouth to reply but she didn’t let him. “I know you think that the grounders are savages. That we’re more advanced than them. We aren’t. The commander’s army numbers close to a hundred thousand. She’d need barely a fraction of it to bring us down.”

 Murphy reluctantly backed down. She nodded. “Good. Now listen. She has agreed to make peace with us as long as we follow her word. She will leave us to govern ourselves for now and has promised to treat us like she would one of her people.” The crowd sighed in relief. “But in return for our troubles, she wants five people turned over to her.”

 The relief disappeared and whispers broke out in the crowd. Someone raised their voice above it. “What would happen to them?”

 Clarke shrugged. “They would die.”

 Outbursts broke out among them. “And you accepted this?” Murphy scowled, once again taking the position as the voice of the people. “You agreed to give them children for them to murder?”

 “Would you rather us all be crushed beneath their feet?”

 “I’d rather fight back!” He shouted. “You said it yourself: she’d need only a fraction of her army to take us. She’ll underestimate us. We’ll kill her army!” Some people began to cheer, others looked on nervously.

 “And what then? When she calls upon even more of her army because you killed the first one?” Clarke urged her mare forward, towering over him. “We cannot fight them. We would not win.”

 She backed up, addressing the crowd. “Most of you have been contributing to help sustain us,” she said. “Hunting, building our walls, fixing our technology, foraging for food. You all have been a part of our survival. But the ones that haven’t, that have decided they’d rather sit back and rest their pretty little feet - I say those are the ones we had over to death.”

 People began to panic.

 They managed it themselves through all the chaos - singling out the ones they thought were more worthy to die than them and pushing them to the front, hoping and praying that they wouldn’t be chosen. She watched as these people were singled out by their friends, labeled as lazy and selfish.

 Clarke raised a hand. “Silence!” Her voice rang out over the clearing, quieting the delinquents. They looked up at her fearfully. The people in front, about nine of them, tried to run back into the crowd but weren’t able to. Clarke was amused at the cowardice of her people. At how they sacrificed the lives of others so they could live another day.

 “You.” They turned to her, afraid, knowing that their friends had abandoned them to die. “There are too many. Choose who will die.”

 They fought. They squabbled and fought and a couple retreated away, slipping back into the crowd. Clarke watched one of them charge up to her instead. “Why should we be the ones to die?”

 Clarke tilted her head. “What are you saying, boy?”

 “Why should we die? Maybe we should sacrifice you!”

 Shouts of agreement rose up. Clarke bared her teeth. “Try and I’ll kill you myself.”

 “You see!” The boy shouted, turning around to the delinquents. “She doesn’t care about us! She justs cares about herself! I saw we kill the Alpha Station scum!”

 They cheered loudly, pushing forward toward her. She was glad that Wells was elsewhere. Instead of retreating, Clarke swung a leg over and dismounted from her horse. She locked her gaze on the boy. “Come here.”

 “No.”

 “No?” She clucked her tongue. “Pity, then. I had been hoping you would be one of the ones to suffer by the Trikru’s hands. Instead, I’ll have to give you a swift death.”

 He snorted. “Oh, so you’re going to kill me? With what, your horse?”

 She said nothing, walking, stalking, closer to him. She could see that her silence unnerved him as he took a step back. She took his chin in her hand, angling it toward her as if she wanted a kiss. “No. I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”

 The shock she sent through him had him dead in a second.

 She looked at the six remaining teens that had been pushed out of the crowd. “Well. I’m sure Lexa will be okay with an extra.”

 This time, there was no hope for them rallying support against her. The others were too afraid to disobey.

 -

 Anya returned the next day.

 Clarke had the chosen ones brought out and lined up in front of the general. She handed their custody to Anya, who had their hands tied and lined up behind her horse. Clarke, as the highest power, took point, with Anya behind her and the two guards riding behind the six sacrifices.

 They moved slowly with people on foot and got there in two hours. She could hear the whispers of her name, of Wanheda, spread through the people, and a smug smile settled onto her face. No longer would she be deemed an insignificant child. As Wanheda, she had the power of a nation behind her. She had indisputable power.

 Lexa was waiting outside her tent for Clarke.

 Well, maybe not so indisputable.

 Clarke followed Lexa inside her tent. No one else was inside, no guards, no Indra, just herself and Lexa. On the table was a large map of the territory, marking TonDC, the Mountain, the dropship, and each village scattered through Trikru. Lexa circled to the other side of the table, resting her hands lightly against its edge. “So, Wanheda, shall we begin?”

 “Indeed, Heda,” she said, dipping her head, eyes lighting up at the sight of their mate, their terrifying fleim, standing in front of them, alone. What opportunities it presented!

 “Tell me how you can help take down the mountain.”

 Clarke composed a rough list of every asset they had used last time to take it down. The dam, the reaper tunnels, how a single inside man can guarantee the destruction of the acid fog, how they can blow down the doors. Her mind wandered to what Lexa had done last time, how she had walked away and left her to die. Long forgiven, but still not forgotten.

 Lexa hummed, her fingers tapping the table in consideration. “And you know this how?”

 “Does it matter?” She leaned forward. “Trust me, fleim, I would never deceive you.”

 Lexa looked up sharply at Clarke’s name for her. She narrowed her eyes. “I do trust you, Wanheda. Wamplei. Our spirits have always worked side by side.”

 “And they will again.” She clenched her teeth, eyes scanning her mate’s body. “So, Lexa, have I satisfied my side of the deal?”

 Lexa watched Clarke rake her eyes up and down her body, watched how her eyes glowed soft blue and her fingers sparked, a reminder of their deadly touch. “You have. And I will satisfy mine.”

 “Good.” Clarke leaned back, tilting her head to the side, tongue running over her lips. “I’m glad we’ve been able to begin this… partnership, Heda. I look forward to more of it.”

 Lexa’s eyes darkened to a rich brown, Heda howling gleefully within her at this playful banter. She’d felt an unexplainable tug every time Wanheda was within her sights, Heda urging her desperately to take her, to grab her roughly and claim her as theirs. She had known that the spirit of Heda had a particular affection for its counterpart, but not one so… animalistic. She couldn’t deny that it was swaying her. The girl’s cold beauty didn’t help either.

 Clarke knew the effect that she had on Lexa. Wanheda cackled, enjoying every second with their mate, and Clarke couldn’t deny that they both had desires. She strolled leisurely around the table to stand next to Lexa, leaning in close to her ear. “I know what you want, ai fleim. Don’t deny us both of it.” A hand reached up to squeeze Lexa’s neck lightly before she turned away, leaving the tent.

 -

 They stand side by side in front of the chief’s hut, Indra, Anya, and a few others a few feet away. The six delinquents had been tied up to the posts, torches illuminating them in eerie orange light. A scout had been sent to fetch the other Skaikru, who now crowded near the gate, watching with rapt horror.

 Lexa raised her voice high and clear, speaking in English for the ease of her guests. “People of Tondisi! We are gathered here today to take the first step toward peace with the Skaikru. They have not made it easy on us: they have burnt down our villages, chased away our food, taken prisoner to one of ours. As their leader, Wanheda has agreed to hand over a number of her people to be killed. We will secure peace for our peoples and avenge the deaths of our brothers and sisters!”

 The ruckus they made for their Heda shook the earth. Lexa took her knife, drawing it slowly as she approached the six kids tied to posts. They thrashed and struggled to no avail.

 Before, Lexa had always taken the last cut, had been the one to usher the kill. But now that Clarke was here, it reversed. Heda took the first cut, and Wanheda took their life. A tradition she had never taken part of before, with all that was going on.

 Lexa stood in front of the first one, a red-headed girl of about sixteen. The first cut she carved deep into her cheek. Clarke smiled at that. Lexa had a habit of staking her claim on whatever was hers, and that was often the face. She wasn’t surprised that Lexa marred the faces of the other five as well. 

 First went people who had friends or family that were killed by the flares. Then the hunters, in return for all the trouble they’d gone through with less and less prey to hunt. Then everyone else. The last few cuts went to the higher powers, such as Indra, Anya, and Gustus. 

 Finally, the last cut was made, and Clarke was handed the knife. She watched the skaikru out of the corner of her eye, saw how they pointed and whispered about her. They looked betrayed. Well, she couldn’t help where her loyalty lay. It was not with them. It never had been.

 She gave the first five a swift death, through the heart and back out again. The last one, though, she had issues with. He acted similarly to how Finn had the last time. Flirty, trying to be charming, and overall annoying. She didn’t care much for that. What she did care for was the blatant disrespect he had for everyone but himself.

 Clarke growled deep in her throat. “Perhaps this will teach you some respect, slogen goufa.” She pressed the blade of the knife to his hip, letting it rest there for a moment before she ripped down, tearing through his femoral artery. He screamed and she grinned in satisfaction, feeling the blood splash onto her clothes. He was practically sobbing after all the torture, and Clarke left him to bleed out.

 She looked to her ‘people.’ Skaikru. She’d done this to protect them. Did she care about them? Some of them. There were many who she knew it wasn’t their time. Some that she could care less about whether or not it was their time. But she wouldn’t let the innocent suffer.

 Clarke looked through their ranks, feeling each one shrink under her gaze. “I protected you from death by doing this. If you try and cause war again, I won’t be there to save you next time.” She turned on her heel and walked back, handing Lexa her knife and wiping the blood off her cheek with the back of her hand.

 Lexa raised the bloodied knife high into the air. “Justice has been served!”

 The people cheered loudly, chanting their Heda’s name. Clarke felt a burst of pride for the woman. This amazing human, deadly, ruthless, cunning, was all hers. It made her insides light up with heat and had Wanheda greedily calling for her sister spirit.

 Lexa broke the chants and the Trikru began to disperse, celebrating their vengeance and preparing for the next day, which would be of mourning. Clarke stepped up close beside Lexa, a hand trailing up her arm as she whispered into her ear. “So, ai flaim, what do you say about celebrating our new alliance?”

 Clarke’s hand touched the exposed skin of Lexa’s neck and they both had to hold back gasps as Heda and Wanheda rushed to meet each other, engulfing them both with the urge to feel, to touch, to take.

 Lexa nudged Clarke toward her tent with as much dignity as she could manage at the moment, both of them grinning like fools. Their spirits rejoiced, calling for more, more, more, and who would defy such powerful beings?

 They stumbled into the commander’s tent, Clarke immediately grabbing Lexa by the collar and shoving her back against the cot. Their mouths were on one another’s, hungry and lustful, full of sparks and fire. Teeth clashed, tongues tangled, hands roamed up and down, Clarke yanking hard at the straps of Lexa’s armor. She groaned loudly, rushing to dispose of her coat.

 Everything was a blur of heat, and they were soon falling naked into the cot, bodies pressed as close as they could go. Their insides exploded, skin tingling, eyes glowing, hands restless and minds unsated. 

 They staked their claim on one another. Lexa left raw bruises up and down Clarke’s jawline and Clarke gave her violent scratches that were sure to last days on end. 

 Heda and Wanheda were finally together again, and no force could keep them apart.

Find the sequel fic here

Love you all!

[tobashiarg-blog-archive]

Turns Out Being a Super Hero Is Actually Really Gay! - Chapter 5

Hey kiddos, I’m back! Your main bitch here has NOT been in the best mental health as of late :) My boss at my current job is driving me up a wall and I may need to find a new one since he might not be able to pay me for the hours I do, my depression is kicking my ass, and my dog was going to have puppies but then had a miscarriage and it turns out she can never have puppies again or risk dying next time. Soooo yeah, I’m probably not okay, but that’s okay because we are back with another chapter of your fav spiderbois! Again, huge thanks to @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil for their wonderful au! Also shout out to @khadij-al-kubra for helping me appropriately write Logan and his family! They gave me some awesome advice and insight into Muslim culture and you should totally check out their blog and read their Thomas In Wonderland fan fic, it’s super cute! Anyways, now with that out of the way please ENJOY!!!!

Master Post

Beginning

Previous Chapter

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The boys collapsed on to the couch in Thomas’s living room in one heaping pile of uncoordinated limbs and groans. They were absolutely exhausted, aching joints and sore muscles which they were careful to move slowly. Thomas, meanwhile, leaned over the back of the couch, suit still intact but mask off, smiling amusingly at the tired teens.

“So, third day of training went well,” Thomas snickered, the boys groaned in response causing the older man to laugh again “yeah, you’ll get use to it eventually. Just because your muscles are stronger doesn’t mean they aren’t prone to getting tired when worked out.”

“I take back every nice thing I said about you,” Virgil murmured, face down across the couch “you are the absolute worst and I’d rather take Ms. Green’s Saturday day classes.”

“I ache all over.” Patton whined.

“The body takes about a week or so to get used to routine work out,” Logan groaned out “but as you do you adjust it so that you don’t get used to it and extend your bodies limit. But even so this training fucking sucks!”

“Agreed,” Roman grunted “I have so many regrets.”

“Toughen up boys, you all wanted to be super heroes,” Thomas tutted “besides, we haven’t even gotten to the hard parts yet.”

“The worst!” Virgil hissed “Terrible mentor! Zero out of ten!”

Thomas chuckled, “If it helps, you all are doing great. I’m really proud off all the effort and hard work you’ve been putting into this. Now, weather that’ll stay throughout the entirety of your training is to be determined but I have faith in you all.”

The boys stayed quiet for a long while, faces flushed red though it wasn’t from the intense work out they just had, mostly. They’ve all been doing their damnedest to show how serious they were about becoming heroes, wanting to prove to Thomas and everyone else that they weren’t messing around. And even if it’s only been a short while it was nice to know that Thomas had faith in them and wanted to see them succeed. It was pretty fucking sweet to know that your hero and now mentor had your back.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too sappy, you still suck.” Virgil grumbled, but the blush on his cheeks plus the smile he kept trying to hide told a different tale.

“Oh well, if I’m the worse them I guess you guys wouldn’t be interested in any of the ‘after work out’ sandwiches I made,” Thomas said innocently, turning to walk towards the kitchen “plus, a banana and strawberry milkshake but it’s probably not that great cause, you know, I’m the worst and all.”

The boys were silent once more before suddenly jumping off the couch and racing after Thomas towards the kitchen.

“Best teacher! Twelve out of ten gold stars!” Virgil called out.

“I’m not all that achey!” Patton said, a slight wince in his step.

“Well really the body shouldn’t ever get used to a work out too much,” Logan informed “and the routines you’ve set up for us will really balance out our bodies.”

“Best decision of my life! Absolutely, no regrets!” Roman cheered.

---

The boys lazed around in the kitchen, chatting as they ate their mountain of sandwiches and delicious milkshakes and Thomas couldn’t help but feel kind of domestic. He didn’t usually have much company besides Joan and Talyn and even then, he was sometimes too busy to properly hang out with them. But they understood, even before they found out about him being Rainbow Weaver Joan and Talyn were always supporting him and Thomas will forever be grateful for that. But there was just something about having a room full of people, chatting and laughing, with a mutual understanding of each other’s situation that made Thomas feel…less alone.

‘Welcome to parenthood fucker!’ A voice in Thomas’s head, that suspiciously sounded a lot like Joan, cackled.

“Shush.” Thomas mumbled quietly as he shook his head to silence the voice before returning to the conversation at hand.

“The whole movie is basically a promotion on Stockholm syndrome!” Virgil exclaimed.

“She stayed on her own accord so she could save her father!” Roman shot back “Plus he did let her go after she went into the forbidden room only SAVE her when she was in danger! She could have left after he passed out but no, she went back again WILLINGLY to nurse him back to health!”

Roman and Virgil had been arguing about the story line of various Disney movies for the better part of an hour now. Thomas, Logan, and Patton sat as the audience, occasionally throwing in their own opinions but staying out of it for the most part. Even if the debate seemed intense it kind of looked like the two were having fun in their own strange way. Currently they were discussing the elements of Beauty and the Beast.

“Yeah, because it’s either get mauled to death and freeze in the woods or be trapped in solitude!” Virgil quipped “She just chose the better half of a bad situation that would provide her with food and shelter!”

“But they fell in love!” Roman cried.

“Yes, because a prisoner falling in love with their capture is totally healthy and cool if you add bunch of dancing silverware!” Virgil snarked.

“Ugh! You are impossible!” Roman groaned “How is it you claim to like Disney but have all this bad to say about it?”

“Because it’s literally the whole reason I like it in the first place,” Virgil snorted “there are so many dark elements to it that people over look. Especially if you read the original fairy tales that inspired them.”

“You just want to make everything dark and edgy,” Roman grumbled “not everything has to have a dark side.”

“Everything does have a dark side, Sir Sing-A-Lot.” Virgil smirked.

“Ha, I like that nickname and I’m gunna use it!” Roman huffed.

“Not that it isn’t great that you two are getting along,” Logan said sarcastically, finishing his milkshake and grabbing another sandwich “but me and Virgil got to get going or we’ll be late for dinner and I would rather not endure my mother’s wrath.”

“Oh shit, that’s today?” Virgil asked as he began to pack his stuff.

“What’s today?” Patton asked curiously.

“My brother is coming over for dinner,” Logan replied dryly “we haven’t seen him in a while.”

“You don’t seem too excited.” Thomas said.

“It’s not that I’m not excited to see him after so long it’s just…” Logan paused, fidgeting over uncomfortable feel of emotion running through his brain, wondering if he should even bother discussing this any further. Eventually, he chose not to, “Nothing, it’s just, you know, tired from all the training and…stuff.”

Thomas knew there was something more to the whole situation, as did Patton and Roman, but out of politeness nobody said anything. They instead looked to Virgil to see if he could clue them in on something, they were missing but the purple clad teen only shrugged and shook his head. So, they were quick to change the subject.

“What are the rest of you doing this evening?” Thomas asked.

“My brother Alex said he was gunna take me and Georgie, my other brother, out somewhere,” Patton sighed, rolling his eyes “that’s usually code for he wants to impress a girl by showing what a ‘cool and caring’ brother he is and will fail miserably. But hey, I’m not gunna look a gift horse in the mouth, usually he takes us to cool places.”

“My mom and sister are working late again so I have to pick up and babysit the twins,” Roman replied before suddenly remembering something and turned to Virgil “Virgil what are you doing?”

Virgil paused, giving Roman an odd look, “Uh, besides dinner at the Quinn’s, nothing much afterwards. Why?”

“Good, because you need to come over so we can finish up that stupid essay due on Monday and I can’t have you over on Sunday because we have church and a baby shower to go to.” Roman said as he casually munched on another sandwich.

“Shit, that’s still a thing,” Virgil groaned, looking to Logan for help “have you even started on that?”

“Oh yes, me and Patton finished it recently.” Logan replied coolly.

“We video chatted since me and Lo had other stuff to attend to and couldn’t come over to each other’s houses.” Patton added.

“That’s why you flaked out on movie night yesterday,” Roman said in a moment of realization before pouting “you chose a study date with your boyfriend over me?”

Logan choked on the sandwich he was still munching on whole Patton squeaked and flushed a dark red. Virgil snickered as he went over to pat Logan’s back until he stopped coughing while Patton blubbered and waved his hands around, shrieking how “it’s not like that Roman, you know that! We just- we study a-and – we aren’t, uh…” Logan was soon to join in once he got the proper amount of air in his lungs, face just and red and sputtering just as embarrassed.

Thomas bit back a laugh while Roman and Virgil, the little shits, out right smirked in that smug way all best friends do when they see each other suffering. It was painfully obvious that Logan and Patton a “thing” for each other but were just too shy and awkward to acknowledge it. It was easy to push their buttons and was also extremely entertaining to watch. Still, Thomas was merciful and kindly decided to redirect the subject again.

“Well, while you kids enjoy your evening plans, I’ll be out on patrol,” Thomas said, stretching out a bit “so if you need to contact me and I’m a little slow to respond you’ll know why.”

“Might pass by that ally way again while patrolling?” Virgil asked innocently, though the devious smirk on his face was a dead giveaway “You know, just to make sure there’s no one in danger?”

“Yeah, like a certain cute barista?” Roman snickered.

Thomas’s cheeks colored pink and he regretted his previous act of mercy because those little vipers turn head so fast it’s as if they planed it. “You know we could just spend a whole day doing laps next training day?”

“We could, but that still wouldn’t erase the fact that you’re too gay to function around attractive males.” Logan smirked.

“Aw, but wouldn’t it be cute if they went out on a date?” Patton gushed, his comment was genuine but that didn’t make Thomas any less flustered. “You should try and talk to him, like for reals. Maybe ask him out on a cute little coffee date?”

“I am like flashing back to so many Coffee Shop Au fics it’s not even funny,” Virgil laughed breathlessly “anyway, Roman, text me your address and I’ll swing by after dinner. See ya gays later.”

“Don’t you mean guys?” Patton asked.

“I know what I said.” Virgil replied as he and Logan made their way out of the kitchen.

Roman shrugged, “He isn’t wrong though.”

---

They arrived at their apartment building in record time, Vigil having informed his parents before hand that he’d be at Logan’s for dinner before heading out to Roman’s to finish up the essay. Though at the moment neither of them were in any hurry to get to where they were going, taking a dramatically long time climbing up the stairs instead of taking the elevator.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to tag along with you and Morgan after dinner?” Virgil asked for the tenth time that day “I really, really don’t mind flaking out on Roman.”

“As much as I would like that you really do need to finish your essay,” Logan sighed “it counts as a major grade for your science class.”

It wasn’t that Logan’s brother was a bad guy, on the contrary he was actually really cool and easy to talk too, but the constant comparisons made between them by their parents made Logan kind of resent him, just a little. Don’t get him wrong, Logan loved his older brother and wouldn’t mind spending more time with him but as of late the closer Logan got to graduation the more his parents…“pushed” him to follow in his brother’s footsteps. He couldn’t even mention about applying for colleges around them because then they’d go into a spiral about all the colleges Morgan got excepted to at his age and how he should apply for those and go for this program that Morgan did and maybe he could study abroad like Morgan did. It’s not like they did it on purpose, Logan knew his parents loved him and were proud of him, they only wanted what’s best for him so that he could succeed and gain opportunities that they couldn’t when they were young. But sometimes it just…got a bit much.

“Come on, let me procrastinate,” Virgil whined, though it was more to make Logan laugh then being serious “I don’t want to spend my whole afternoon with Roman.”

“It’s not my fault the teachers chose him as a partner for you,” Logan chuckled “at least he’s willing to do work and not slack off like others. Plus, better him then Dolion.”

“Mmh, true,” Virgil grumbled “but stiiiill! The only reason you’re not complaining is because you got to be all buddy-buddy with Patton and make heart eyes at him all day.”

As expected, Logan was a blushing, sputtering mess, “I-it’s not like that!”

Vigil continued to tease his best friend all the way up until their destination, then everything got tense again. Logan took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as he went over the most likely scenarios that would happen during dinner, none of them were good. But Logan just had to get through dinner then an awkward night out with his brother and after he could just sulk in his room the rest of the night. His train of thought was broken by a gentle hand squeezing his own and he turned to find Virgil smiling at him sympathetically.

“I got your back if that means anything?” Virgil shrugged.

Logan gave him a tiny, appreciative smile, “It means everything.”

“Great,” Virgil turned towards the awaiting door in front of them “let’s face Hades together.”

“You know, Hades wasn’t an evil god,” Logan began to explain “he was just god of the Underworld and-”

“You know what I mean.” Virgil scoffed as he opened the door to Logan’s apartment.

Inside, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were in the living room enthusiastically entertaining their special guest of the evening, Morgan Quinn. Looks wise, Morgan and Logan looked pretty similar, tall lanky build, neat trimmed hair, and thick square glasses. Personality wise, they couldn’t be more different, Logan was always the more serious of the two while Morgan tended to be the more goofy, social butterfly. Despite being polar opposites, they got along pretty great, Morgan was the one that introduced Logan to his love of space and it was that mutual love that formed an incredible bond between them. They’d always go up to the roof and look at the stars through their telescope, read up on NASA’s latest discoveries and plans, or just binge watch a bunch of space documentaries. But lately, Logan’s been looking at the stars less, it’s been moths since he’s looked into what NASA’s been up too, and he’s kind of been avoiding space documentaries all together if he’s honest.

“Lolo!” Morgan exclaimed excitedly as he rushed to hug his brother “Salaam alekum!”

“Waalekum salaam,” Logan replied, a small smile appearing on his face despite his internal conflict “welcome home.”

“Geez, you sprouted up like a bean stalk,” Morgan laughed as he pulled back to look over his little brother “what are Ummi and Babá feeding you?”

“All required nutrition regiments,” Logan quipped “though I can only assume your stunted growth is due to the college dietary restrictions of coffee and instant noodles.”

“Quit exposing me,” Morgan chided playfully before turning to Virgil with his arms open wide for a hug “Virge, salaam alekum!”

“Waalekum salaam,” Virgil replied, tentatively accepting the hug though Morgan knew he wasn’t one for physical affection so he didn’t linger long “how you’ve been?”

“I’ve been great, tired but great,” Morgan chuckled “and you still haven’t grown? I though Ummi was stuffing you down with the same thing she’s been feeding Logan?”

“Gunna take a lot more then forced self-care to make me into a functioning human being.” Virgil smirked.

“Speaking of eating,” Mrs. Quinn cut through the chatter as she made her way to the kitchen “I made your favorite Morgan, kufta and rice. Shall we eat now?”

“Please,” Morgan half begged “I’m a starving college student.”

They family plus Virgil gathered around the table, filling their plates with the lamb meat balls, rice and side salad put in place. It was all pleasantries at first, catching up on each other’s lives and reminiscing on the past and how it compared to the present. It was nice, laughter and chatter filled the room as other’s ate to think of more conversation topics.

Then Mrs. Quinn asked, “How has your internship been at Oscorps?”

And so it began.

“Oh, it’s been amazing,” Morgan gushed “I’ve been learning so much about bioengineering and genetic research. There’s been so many advances made in the medical field and it’s just fascinating to see the behind the scenes of everything.”

“You know, Logan and Virgil went on a field trip to Oscorps this week,” Mr. Quinn said, unknown to him that Logan’s eye began to twitch waiting for the inevitable “I would have hoped they’d see you there in action.”

“Oh no, I’m usually in the back with the researchers,” Morgan explained before looking to his brother “but if you would have texted me earlier, I could have given you and Virge a secret tour of the latest project we’ve been working on. It’s awesome, you would have loved it Lo.”

“I, um…” Logan began, fiddling with the food on his plate.

“Logan, I thought we told you to call your brother and ask about the internship requirements?” Mrs. Quinn asked.

“I forgot.” Logan said lamely.

“Babá you can’t afford to be forgetting these things,” Mr. Quinn scolded gently “you have to build up a good college resume and a company like Oscorps will get you accepted into any school you want.”

“Yeah, I know.” Logan mumbled, having stopped eating all together and was now just staring at his plate.

“Well, he’s still just a junior in high school,” Morgan cut in before more could be said by either of his parents “an internship like this is not easy to come by. Some people are on a waiting list for years and even then, they might not get accepted.”

“But didn’t they offer you a position when you were in high school?” Mrs. Quinn asked “Surely if Logan took an extra class or two, he could have one too.”

“What they offered me was an errand boy that made print outs and got coffee,” Morgan explained, secretly watching as the tension in his brother’s shoulders relaxed just a bit “they’re not gunna let a high schooler into a research lab no matter how smart he is. Maybe once he hits college but even then, he could get a much better offer from somewhere else. I hear the robotic engineering program in Carnegie and Brown are real buddy-buddy with Stark Industries.”

Logan smiled, just a little, tentative and quiet, “Really?”

“I don’t know,” Mrs. Quinn butted in, and just like that the tension in Logan’s shoulders returned “Stark Industries is sketchy at best, especially with all that Avengers mumbo-jumbo going on. Besides, wouldn’t a job in the medical field be more secure financial wise? All I ever see that Tony Stark do on the news is make new toys for him to play with and destroy the city.”

“Saving the world from an alien invasion and government corruption,” Morgan explained “pretty sure that’s kind of important Ummi.”

Mrs. Quinn shrugged, “I guess so.”

“But what about that whole mess with the Avengers?” Mr. Quinn asked “Or whatever’s going on there? There’s always some kind of conflict with them.”

“It’s been cleared up now,” Morgan informed them “plus I hear Stark Industries are partnering up with a famed research facility in Wakanda. They’re supposed to have technological advances years beyond us. I’m sure Logan will be snatched up in an instant.”

Mr. and Mrs. Quinn seemed sort of swayed but they surely still had more questions and probing statements to say. Thankfully, Morgan was quick to jump in and change the conversation. “So Logan, Ummi and Babá were telling me how you, Virge and some friends made a club together, how’s that been going?”

Not a topic Logan wished to discuss in great detail but he’d chose that over the previous one. “Uh, great, we’ve been making excellent progress.”

“And what of the other guys in your group?” Morgan asked, genuinely curious “How are they like?”

“They’re…great,” Logan chuckled awkwardly “just two classmates from our school, Patton and Roman, we all head a group project together and we got discussing on some issues and of course one thing led to another.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty cool,” Virgil added “and we’re getting…stuff and things done. It’s small but nice.”

“That’s good,” Morgan smiled “I hope to meet these new friends someday, I’m getting kind of tired of just Virgil at our house all the time.”

“You know we all thought the same thing with you,” Virgil rolled his eyes but gave an easy smirked “thank god you left for college.”

Morgan laughed, “Geez, Virge, tell me how you really feel. Also, I heard you guys were being sponsored by Thomas Sanders, unless Ummi and Babá got the name mixed up?”

“Yeah, we didn’t believe it either at first,” Logan chuckled nervously, him and Virgil sharing a knowing look “but the school district recommended him and he accepted so it was only logical of us to accept as well.”

“How hard did you and Virgil fan girl? Be honest.” Morgan teased.

Logan pouted (though he’d deny it till his dying day) and promptly returned to his dinner, “Suddenly, I don’t remember the details.”

“It’s like it never even happened,” Virgil added dramatically “Thomas Sanders who? What club?”

“Aw, come on guys!” Morgan chuckled, playfully shoving his brother’s shoulder “I’m only kidding…mildly, though seriously how hard did you fan girl? Cause I’m pretty sure Virge has a fan about him that’s just as big as Rainbow Weaver.”

“You know what, go back to your internship and shove your head in a toxic waste tank,” Virgil quipped with flushed cheeks “nobody wanted you here anyway.”

“Hey, you never know, I might gain powers like Rainbow Weaver,” Morgan smirked triumphantly “then I’ll be the one meeting him.”

Logan smirked mysteriously, “Doubtful.”

---

Roman had just finished cleaning the last of the dishes when a buzz was heard throughout the apartment. He was quick to wipe his hands as he moved pasted the kitchen table where the twins were doing homework, ruffling Marco’s hair in the process. The younger gave off an annoyed whine as he swatted his older brother’s hand away who chuckled to himself as he reached the buzzer box and pressed the call button.

“Who is it?” Roman asked.

“It’s Virgil, buzz me in.” The voice responded.

“Sure, give me a minute,” Roman replied, pressing another button before heading off towards his room to retrieve his backpack and set up in the living room. He did not for the life of him trust the twins by themselves, little demons could get into loads of trouble the second you look away from them.

“Who’s that?” Jenni asked, inspecting over her macaroni art project.

“A…friend?” Roman said tentatively “We’re gunna do homework, that’s all you need to know so keep the noise down to a minimum when you guys are done, okay?”

“Is it Patton?” Marco asked excitingly, he always liked when Patton came over, Patton usually spoiled the two with homemade treats.

“No, it’s not Patton.” Roman said, rummaging through his back for the notes Logan gave him.

“Then who is he?” Jenni asked, curiosity finally pulling her away from her glittery macaroni art disaster. Roman groaned at the thought of having to clean that up later.

“Just, uh, guy from a club I’m in,” Roman explained begrudgingly “we have to do a project together, that’s all.”

“Why didn’t you pick Patton as your partner?” Marco asked, half disappointed he would be getting sweets but also curious as to who this new person was.

“Because the teacher chose them for us.” Roman responded bluntly.

“Why?” Jenni asked.

“Because the school system is a dumb-dumb.” Roman said tiredly.

“Why?” Marco asked.

“Why are you guys so invested in this?” Roman snapped, he didn’t mean to but he was already on edge as it was. Virgil and him had a rocky relationship as it was, they were co-workers at best after the whole spider power thing, but even so he had no idea where he stood with him. He knew exactly where he stood with everybody else; Patton was his best friend, Thomas was his mentor and Logan was a nuisance though still fun to poke at. Virgil was just a wild card, sometimes they got along and sometimes they didn’t, it was a weird line they walked and Roman had no idea what step was the wrong step and which one was the right.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Jenni sang, Marco giggling beside her as Roman’s face lit up in red hot flames. “Absolutely not!”

---

Vigil found himself once more taking his time climbing up the stairs when there was a perfectly functioning elevator. The realization of what he was doing and where he was going finally hit him after seeing Morgan and Logan out after dinner. He was going to Roman Marigold’s apartment, Roman Marigold, quite possibly the most annoying human being in the entire school next to Dolion.

It’s not that Roman seemed like a bad guy, he was actually pretty decent when his giant ego was in check and wasn’t jumping off buildings unexpectedly. But for some reason he just got under Virgil’s skin and knew what buttons to press to get a reaction out of him. Though he had no ide if he was doing it to be mean or it was just this weird thing between them. When Roman fought with Logan you always kind of got this vibe that they…not liked each other though it seems like they had mutual respect. But when he and Roman fought it varied on what the situation was, sometimes it could be Disney banters, playful bickering, full on heated debates, or just poking insults. It was weird and Virgil had no idea what to do with it.

He finally reached the door and just as he was about to knock, he heard giggling and a high pitch screech. “Absolutely not!”

Maybe this was bad time, he should probably go back, Virgil didn’t want to be caught in the middle of any family disputes if this was what it was. But he didn’t move to leave, nor did he move to knock again, he just stood there frozen in perpetual confusion and panic, listening to the conversation beyond the door.

Tiny voices sang in a jumpy school yard tune, “Roman’s got a boyfriend! Roman’s got a boyfriend!”

“I do not!” Came the embarrassed reply that Virgil could only guess was Roman.

Virgil clasped a hand over his mouth so as to repress the giggle threatening to slip. It was absolutely hilarious to hear the pristine ego maniac that is Roman Marigold get flustered and loss his cool due to, what sounded like, a bunch of little kids taunting him. Even so it wasn’t very appropriate of him to be eavesdropping on people’s conversations, no matter how hilarious or ridiculous they may seem, so he made quick work of knocking on the door.

It opened almost immediately, a red cheeked Roman staring intently at him, “Oh, you’re here.”

“Yeah, I buzzed you like five minutes ago, remember?” Virgil smirked “We’re you talking to someone?”

“No! No, just…you know,” The flamboyant teen made a vague gesture with his hands “things?”

“Things?” Virgil echoed with an odd look.

Roman nodded and it was suddenly quiet for a long time. Virgil awkwardly standing in the hallway while Roman fidgeted against the door frame, both staring intently at each other without blinking. Finally, a cough from behind Roman snapped them both out of their stupor. They turned to find two smirking children peeking out from behind the living room couch, no doubt Roman’s siblings, they were practically mini carbon copies.

Roman glared at them while Virgil gave a shy wave before asking, “Can I come in now?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Roman stuttered, quickly stepping aside to let Virgil in.

---

Morgan had gotten them tickets to the planetarium viewing of Dark Universe at the American Museum of National History as well as general passes for the rest of the museum. Logan was admittingly excited to go, it’s been a long time since he’s been to a planetarium especially one as grand as the Hayden Planetarium. But on the other hand, the awkward silence between Logan and his brother during the entire taxi ride here was very heavy and uncomfortable. Not that Morgan wasn’t trying to make conversation it’s just that Logan was snubbing them out as quickly as he was thinking them.

Dinner with other people was one thing, an outing by themselves was another. There weren’t other people to buffer out the awkward when things got slow or stale. They use to go on outings together all the time, talking endlessly for hours and hour far into the night, discussing the universe, life, and anything else they could think of. But that was then, this was now, and as of now they haven’t hung out properly in a long time plus Logan’s parents weren’t really helping him warm up to the whole situation. Regardless if Morgan was able to diverge the conversation near the end or not there was still that…tension.

“So…have you ever seen Dark Universe before?” Morgan asked as the lazily walked inside the building, the display of planets across the outside of the planetarium quiet distracting. There were two entrance into the museum, at the front where the famed t-rex statue was displayed and the back where the Earth and Science exhibits were.

“They were going to take us last year for a school field trip but the bus broke down and we missed the showing.” Logan shrugged, looking around at all the displays of planets, stars and solar systems.

“Ah, well that means it’ll be a first viewing for both of us,” Morgan said cheerily, dramatically raising a fist in the air “a bonding experience we shall never forget!”

Logan raised an eyebrow at his brother’s weird display who in turn shyly put his hand down, “Uh, anyway, how’s life? How’s school? How’s that club you got going?”

“It’s fine,” Logan said simply “everything is functioning as it should, it’s only the beginning of the first semester so nothing much has happened. Well, except for…a complication.”

“Yeah, mom and dad told me what happened,” Morgan sighed, a bitter sneer on his face “I still can’t believe there’s jerks like that out there.”

“Indeed,” Logan nodded “but it’s nothing to get worked up over, it’s not like it was the root of the whole ordeal. I was merely…defending a friend from certain public humiliation.”

“Who were they anyway?” Morgan asked before clarifying “The friend you helped out, are they in that club you made?”

“Uh, yes,” Logan said bashfully, a light pink dusking his cheeks “his name is – Patton?”

Logan froze in his tracks, his brother taking a second to notice, because there near a display of Halley’s comet was Patton Foster. He was wearing a stunning high waist space print skirt, black leggings, a soft looking baby blue crop top sweater, and black boots. He also wore sparkly silver star droop earrings and a matching moon neckless, as well as glittery silver clips in his hair. Patton had yet to notice Logan staring, too enraptured in reading over the little facts beside the display, and the genus will forever be grateful for that.

“Who’s that?” Morgan asked, snapping Logan out of his daze.

“Uh, no one,” Logan said much too quickly “l-let’s take a short cut another direction, I think I saw a map that showed the way.”

Morgan smirked deviously, “They don’t look like no one, you obviously know their name.”

Logan was screwed.

“H-he’s just a friend from school, I don’t want to bother him,” Logan sputtered nervously “let’s just go somewhere else so we won’t disturb his evening.”

“Hey, there’s no harm in saying hi,” Morgan chuckled, grabbing onto his brother’s arm so he wouldn’t scurry way “plus, he’s looking this way already.”

“What?” Logan squeaked.

True to his word, Patton had seen them and was now waving at them with that big, bright, beautiful smile of his. Morgan, the devil, waved back just as enthusiastically as he dragged Logan along with him because he’s was half certain Logan was frozen stiff. As they got closer Patton seemingly decided to meet them half way, bright eyed and springy as ever.

“Hey Lo, I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Patton smiled, he looked to Morgan curiously “is this your brother?”

“So, he does talk about me,” Morgan joked and Logan died “all good things I hope.”

Patton giggled, a pleasant bell to Logan’s ears, “Only in passing conversation but being that your brothers I can only assume you’re just as smart and amazing as he is.”

Morgan smiled big and wide, leaning down near Logan in an exaggerated whisper, “I like him, keep him around.”

Logan wasn’t a violent man by nature but annoying sibling could just so easily get under your skin and drive you to murder. “What brings you to the museum Patton? It was my assumption you were on an outing with your brothers.”

Patton pouted, blowing out a huff of air, “Yeah, Alex went to flirt with receptionist lady and Georgie left to drag him back. Alex won a raffle at work and won tickets to this show at the planetarium called Dark Universe. I’m honestly kind of nervous, I don’t really know what it’s about and the title doesn’t seem too pleasant.”

“No need to worry Patton,” Logan assured “it’s simply a documentary displaying the wonders of our universe while providing commentary. Nothing scary or abnormal, I promise.”

“Oh good,” Patton sighed in relief “I was worried that-”

“Ahk, Georgie! Put me down!”

“Stop behaving like a child and I’ll think about it. Where’s Patton?”

“I think he’s over there? Hey! Hey, Pat! Yhoohoo! We’re over here!”

Patton’s face morphed into something between embarrassment and annoyance as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He seemed to be actively avoiding making eye contact with the two squabbling giants heading towards them. They looked to be the perfect size for professional football players or basketball players or both, point is they were huge compared to petite Patton who landed just under Logan’s nose. Then again, Logan was pretty tall though not as tall as those two…where were they?

---

Out of all the places and times to run into Logan outside of school and/or hero training this would have been the perfect place but it was simply just the WORST time. Patton didn’t mind evenings out with his brothers, he liked spending time with them and the outings were usually fun. Their antics, specifically Alex being troubling making dork while Georgie forcefully drags him out of trouble and Patton watches helplessly by the sidelines, were amusing at best but annoying most of the time.

Don’t get Patton wrong, he loved his brothers with all his heart but sometimes they (*cough*Alex*cough*) had no shame what-so-ever. Great for Georgie who wasn’t afraid of a few staring eyes when pulling his brothers out of trouble, not great for Alex who is such a drama queen he makes Roman look tame. Outing with his brothers were not meant to be witnessed by anyone but the strangers of Manhattan who they’ll never see again, NOT cute boys that Patton kind of sort of had a crush on.

Patton gave Logan and his brother his best smile, though it was very obviously forced, “Excuse me.”

He quickly whizzed around to face his brothers, forced smile still displayed on his face, “I heard you the first time Alex, everyone could.”

Alex, who was hazardously draped over Georgie’s shoulder like a sack of flour, simply pouted as he wiggled out of his elder brother’s grip, “Just making sure, you seemed distracted. Who’re the nerds?”

Georgie smacked Alex across the head, “Be polite.”

“Ow, geez,” Alex whined, rubbing his sore skull “you can kill someone with those hands Georgie. Like in that movie Green House!”

“Green Mile.” Georgie corrected cooly.

Alex snapped his fingers, “That’s the one, anyway, back to the nerds.” Another smack “Ow, hey! I didn’t mean it, it was a joke! See they ain’t bothered!”

Patton took a deep and steady breath as he turned back to the Quinn brothers with an embarrassed smile, “Logan, Morgan, these are my older brothers: Georgie and Alex. Georgie and Alex, this is my friend Logan and his older brother, Morgan. They came to watch the space show too.”

Georgie nodded while Alex gave a false salute, “Sup.”

“How do you do?” Logan said politely as he and his brother stuck out their hands to shake.

Georgie was quick to shake both their hands as was Alex but he paused when he got to Logan, leaning down to intensely stare at him. Patton wanted to scream, truly he did, but that would just let Alex figure everything out that much quicker as well as cause a scene.

“Logan, huh,” Alex hummed as he leaned forward and Logan visibly gulped as he leaned back “where have I heard that name before? I know you ain’t related to that Paul guy from YouTube because you actually look respectable.”

Patton slapped a hand over his face, “Oh my god…”

“He’s one of the boys in the club Pat’s help make.” Georgie said helpfully, not at all fazed by his brother’s borderline interrogation on poor Logan.

“Oh yeah,” Alex nodded, finally letting go of Logan’s hand and giving him proper personal space “you guys made that, uh…what’s the politically correct term for this? I don’t wanna offend anyone.”

“To late.” Patton mumbled grimly.

“LGBTQ+ Youth Group.” Georgie provided.

“Jesus that’s a mouth full,” Alex sighed before pondering once more “nah, but other then that I swear I heard Patton mention that name before just…can’t remember.”

Patton sighed in relief, Thank god!

“Wait I know!” Alex exclaimed.

Shit!

Alex became giddy with excitement, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that just spelled doom for Patton. “He’s that bo – mmhf!”

Georgie was swift yet casual as he slapped a large hand over Alex’s mouth and began to drag him away, “The show is starting soon, we should grab seats together.”

Internally Patton was crying, Georgie was a saint and he definitely deserved a special cake baked in his honor. Externally Patton sighed tiredly once more, giving Logan and Morgan an apologetic smile. “Sorry about them, well, mainly Alex. He’s…a lot sometimes.”

Morgan shrugged, “Brothers, what can you do about them? This guy was a terror when he was younger, he would use his diapers as – oof!” Morgan groaned in pain as Logan elbowed him in the stomach, eyes shut in annoyance and left brow twitching.

Patton giggled, glad not to be the only one being teased by his older brothers, “Older brothers huh?”

“Quite unfortunate are we, huh?” Logan chuckled breathlessly.

“Seriously, what are mom and dad feeding you? I almost puked my guts out!” Morgan wheezed.

---

This was a terrible idea! This was a terrible, awful idea! Why did Thomas think this was a good idea? Why was he even listening to Patton’s advice, he was pretty sure the kid was mostly joking? But here her was at that same damn alley way, in civilian clothes, looking across the street into a familiar little coffee shop with a familiar red headed barista taking down orders behind the register. Thomas groaned, scrubbing his heads over his face, he looked like a fucking stalker, seriously!

He had convinced himself to take a quick brake before heading out on patrol again, maybe grab a cup of coffee to wake him up a bit. It wasn’t his fault the shop just so happened to be near by and hey if that cute guy just so happened to be working there at this time it wasn’t like a big deal. It wasn’t like he knew who Thomas was so he could just be casual, order a coffee, strike up a conversation, nothing big. But now he was here across the street and he saw the guy smile and laugh at something his co-worker said and Thomas just got weak in the knees.

“Why am I here?” Thomas groaned, leaning back against the grimy alley wall “I don’t even know his name! All I know is that he can’t seem to stay out of trouble!”

He looked back into the coffee shop, it seemed to be a slow day, only three or so customs lounging around in the sitting area as cute red head wiped down the counter. Okay, so the good news was there wasn’t much people so Thomas didn’t have to rush when he inevitably stuttered out his order. Bad news was he still had to muster up the courage to go in and talk to him and that was never gunna happen.

It was then he noticed a shady looking guy walk past him and across the street, his hood flipped up and shoulders scrunched in. He looked like the typical grumpy New Yorker that only seemed threatening but Thomas is spidy sense told him otherwise. Plus, he was definitely not hiding that gun, which was tucked in the back of his jeans like some stupid idiot wanna-be gang member, very well.

Thomas was quick to sprint across the street without the hoodlum seeing him, just beating him to the door by a moment. Thomas swung the door open at about half strength smacking the criminal right in the face. An audible crack was heard sending the criminal falling backwards with a bloody nose and maybe a minor concussion. Thomas made sure to ham up his clumsy civilian act.

“Oh gosh man! I’m so, so sorry!” Thomas gasped, helping the man up right with the intention of sneaking a hand around to disarm the gun “Are you alright?”

“Do I fucking look alright you stupid idiot!” The man snapped, much to distracted with the pain of his face to notice the faint clicking noises behind him. Talyn had shown Thomas how to dismantle a gun with one hand their freshman year of college, he doesn’t know why they know that but he’s thankful for it because it makes his job so much easier.

“Sorry dude, can I do anything to help?” Thomas asked in an artificially sweet voice.

“No, fuck off!” The man growled, quick to turn head with his tail between his legs, embarrassed by job never done.

Thomas watched him leave down the alley way, depositing the bullet clip he swiped into a nearby trash bin before heading inside. He noticed the speckles of blood on the glass door as he entered and grimaced with guilt. Once fully through Thomas finally noticed that the red head was staring at him and it dawned on him that he probably witnessed the whole ordeal and though he was a clumsy oaf.

“Uh, sorry about the door,” Thomas said, rubbing a hand behind his neck “If you got some paper towels, I’ll, uh, clean it up for you guys if you want?”

The red head’s eyes were wide with shock, steel blue eyes piercing into Thomas is soul, “That guy was gunna mug us.”

Thomas sputtered in response, “Uh, he – um…”

“I saw him across the street openly stalking the café all day today,” The red head scoffed “he wasn’t really subtle about it. He was probably waiting for us to wind down for the night.”

“Wait,” Thomas squinted suspiciously “if you knew he was gunna rob the place why didn’t you call the police?”

The red head rolled his eyes, “We did, but to them he wasn’t doing anything wrong until now. Stupid cops…” He smiled charmingly “but you came down here pretty quick and practically bashed his skull in. What are you, some sort of vigilante?”

“N-no!” Thomas gulped “I-it’s just I…I saw his gun and I couldn’t just stand there!”

“Well, you could have gotten yourself hurt too.” The red head countered.

Thomas gave a breathless chuckle, “Trust me, I’m not as defenseless as most people think I am.”

The red head giggled, placing his chin to the palm of his hand, “Oh yeah?”

“If it helps, I disarmed his gun before anything?” Thomas said bashfully, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.

The red head’s eyes went wide again, “What, did you do it with one hand?”

“Yeah?” Thomas said hesitantly, this guy was way more observant then Thomas previously thought “If you wanna check, the gun clip is still in the trash bin.”

The red head laughed joyously, a beautiful melody to Thomas is ears, “You really are something! So, what can I get my hero tonight? On the house of course.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to bother-” Thomas began only to get cut off by another joyful laugh “Bother all you want, you just saved my ass from being mugged.”

“It was no trouble,” Thomas shrugged, a goofy smile surely on his face “it-it really wasn’t a big deal.”

“Well it was a big deal to me, practically saved my life,” The red head smiled, grabbing a large cup and a sharpie “so what’s your name Tiger?”

Thomas’s stomach filled with a million butterflies at the mention of the familiar nickname before clearing his extremely dry throat, “Uh…Thomas…Sanders.”

The red head paused a moment, sharpie delicately poised over the edge of the coffee cup as he chewed over his bottom lip in thought. A ghost of a smile formed across his face, that seemed very familiar now that Thomas thought about it, giving out a breathless laugh. “Thomas Sanders, huh?”

“Uh, yeah?” Thomas knew that he got recognized often but by fans but it was usually by his face not by his name. Not to sound vain or anything but a lot of times he didn’t need to tell people who he was for them to recognize him. But this guy didn’t seem like he was a fan…still, he looked vaguely familiar.

“Well, I’m MJ, in case you didn’t notice.” He pointed to the name tag on his chest that Thomas was now just recognizing because he was too gay to look at anything else but this guys cute face.

“What does that stand for?” Thomas asked curiously.

He paused again before that same smile returned to his face, “Matthew Jones…Watson.”

“Matthew Jones Watson,” Thomas said aloud, rolling the words of his tongue as if testing out how they sound in his voice “MJ…I like it.”

And obviously that was a stupid thing to say aloud because it made him sound like some sort of weirdo who goes around judging names. But MJ giggled, light and airy, with a smile that could light up all of Manhattan. “Thanks…I’m glad.”

Tags: (sorry if it doesn’t work, Tumblr is stupid)

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[toast-tit]

Piano Man

Chapter Eight

mob!Tom x reader

Warnings: language, violence

A/N: Thank god this is the last chapter holy shit. I liked writing this but ngl there was no outline so I was pulling everything out of my ass and it shows lol. Anywho...I’ll probably have something else within the next few weeks or if any of you guys have any requests I’ll take them.

Summary: The Ecclesiastes Pub catered to a plethora of people. Prostitutes, college students, successful businessmen and London’s most wanted. Bartenders and waitresses learned to tune out conversations from their customers quickly if they wanted to keep their head. However, people will still come looking for trouble, even if that trouble revolves around Tom Holland, the most feared mob boss around.

~ ~ ~

I woke up to the faint beeping of the heart monitor, signifying the fact that I was still alive. Blinking rapidly, I tried to get ahold of my surroundings until I realized I was in the hospital. Beside me were two large vases of flowers and some other gifts and the walls were a blinding white that I had no desire to see ever again. I sat up and groaned at the pain, wishing there was more morphine in my system.

To my right, Harrison was on his phone, tapping his foot obnoxiously. “Can you please stop doing that?” I croaked and his head shot up, clearly surprised that I was awake. “Holy fuck, you’re up,” he was breathless and stood up, about to rush out of the door and when I told him to stay.

“I need to tell Tom, Y/N,” he argued, but I shook my head. “I have questions,” I began to stutter around the last word, more or less because I was exhausted and would kill a man to go back to sleep. Harrison shook his head and shrugged, “Tom knows a lot more than I do. Let me get him.”

Harrison called Tom’s name and I heard shoes clang against the tile of the hospital, almost like he was running. Tom came into the room and his eyes widened at the fact that I was moving and awake. “Y/N,” his voice was barely audible. Before he came in, I figured I wouldn’t feel anything, it would just be him being concerned and whatnot, but I was dead wrong. Seeing his face was like flying; I felt the feeling in my stomach and chest that you get before you fall from a great height. My heart was practically living in my ass currently and my breathing began to quicken and I felt tears coming. It was almost definite by now that I was in love with him.

Tom had a few bruises and scratches on his face, but they looked pretty healed. Nevertheless, he looked fucking hot like that, like a sexy pirate or something. There was a look of concern and happiness plastered on his face and I badly wanted him to hug me, even if it would’ve been painful.

He made his way to my bedside and asked, “How do you feel?” His voice was soft and full of concern. I smiled lopsidedly and moved a little bit, wincing as I did so, “Like I got hit a fucking train. What about you? I see some battle wounds.” I lifted a shaking hand and placed it on his face, my thumb circling over a cut on his lip. He smiled slightly and put his hand over mine, “Nothing as serious as yours. Are you sure you’re fine? You can go back to sleep.”

I shook my head, “No, I have questions.” Tom nodded along, “Okay then, what are they?” “How long was I here, Tom?” I asked him and he put his hand on mine and stroke my thumb. “You were in a coma for six days, love. You lost so much blood they thought you weren’t going to make it,” he answered.

“Then how am I still here?” I asked. Harrison piped up, “Your blood type is very rare, Y/N, and it’s the same as mine, so I donated almost two pints.” “Jesus, that could’ve killed you!” I exclaimed, my throat hurting as my voice grew louder. Harrison shrugged, “I took my chances. I felt exhausted afterward, but not to the point where I was going to die.”

I felt tears welling in my eyes, gratitude washing over me. “Thank you so much,” a tear ran down my cheek and Harrison grinned happily. He winked and said cheekily, “You’re owe me one now, Y/L/N.” Giggling slightly, I sighed and asked, “When can I leave?”

Tom pondered for a moment before he said, “Tomorrow, I believe. But if you’re beginning to feel better, we can always do early checkout.” “Excellent,” I said whilst standing and stretching, wincing at the soreness. Harrison and Tom exchanged looks, but they did not doubt me. Instead, they helped me take the IVs out (which hurt like a motherfucker 10/10 would not recommend) and bring me a wheelchair so that they could escort me out.

It was a brisk Monday morning; the wind demanded to be acknowledged by those who dared to trek outside and the sun was hiding behind the clouds as if it were shy. The cool weather felt good and the fresh air was almost euphoric. I closed my eyes and soaked in whatever I could. “If you want to get a tan, I suggest a salon,” Harrison opened the car door for me and I entered giving him a dirty look.

I took a look of myself in the mirror and I wanted to cry. There was an ugly scar around my throat surround by massive blotches of purple, blue, and yellow. The bruises on my neck were either big or fingerprint shaped. My face was also very bruised and there was a scar on my cheekbone from I know not what. I’ve never really been insecure about what I had looked like before, but now I felt undeserving of the outside world. I felt like I should just cover up and stay quiet.

The ride home was indeed quiet. I stared out the window and pondered the manner of things as Tom and Harrison quietly conversed. They’d ask for my opinion on a few things, but never often. Harrison pulled into the house and Tom helped me out. My leg was still a bit bum, so he let me lean on him for support as we made our way in.

“You hungry?” Tom asked as he walked to the kitchen. I smiled shyly and shook my head. I instead went to the sink and filled a glass of water, downing it in seconds and then refilling the glass for a second. Tom leaned against the counter and looked at me. His eyes scanned up and down my body, making me feel like I should cover up more despite being in sweats. “Something wrong?” I asked, taking another sip of my water. He sighed and said, “You lost a lot of weight from the coma, just took me by surprise.”

I shrugged, “I’ve been meaning to lose some fat off my stomach for a while.” The two of us chuckled awkwardly, a thick silence began to shroud over us. “I’ll probably gain the weight back anyway once I get back in the gym with Harrison and all,” I sliced open the silence, “I’m sort of looking to build muscle more than anything. Plus, your cooking’s pretty phenomenal.”

Tom smiled sheepishly before he killed it off right away with a grimace. “I need to show you something,” he lightly wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled me along. Tom opened a door and I was led downstairs into the basement, thought it seemed like a medieval dungeon with how poorly it was lit.

Any noise or humming that you could hear upstairs was immediately terminated from the basement. The only things I could hear were our footsteps and our breathing. As we kept going, I grew more anxious, asking Tom what was wrong.

Soon enough, he led to a closed door and he let go of my wrist. “Before I open this door, Y/N, I just want you to know that I’m deeply in love with you,” he was sincere, which scared me, “I know that we started on the wrong foot and we still might be on the wrong foot, but I’ve never met anyone who could get as close to me as you did. It’s only been weeks I know, but-“ “Tom please tell me what’s happened,” I cut him off, not being able to hear anymore.

He sighed and opened the door, letting me go first. Tentatively, I stepped in and took a look around the room. To my left, Cooper was in chains, a sock stuffed into his mouth. His face was unrecognizable and his clothes were tattered; he was practically dead. I covered my mouth with my hand and backpedaled into the wall, memories of that night plaguing my mind, and yet I didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t, something was compelling me to stay.

I looked at Tom, “What is this?” My voice started to waver. After all, Cooper tortured me. I was going to be afraid of him, even if I was protected by Tom. “An ultimatum,” Tom whispered, pulling a gun out of the waistband of his pants. He opened my palm and placed the gun in my hand and said, “I’m not a good person, Y/N, never was. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than you have been, so here’s the choice. You can end Rigsby’s suffering with a bullet to the head and live with the guilt, staying with me, or you can give the gun to me and live the rest of your life happily and we’ll never meet again.”

I looked at the gun in my hand, and then I looked at Tom. He was going to define our relationship by the murder of a man. Even worse, it was the man who had tortured me and killed his brother. I was surprised Cooper wasn’t dead already, having to face six days of Tom’s wrath, and by the looks of it, it was worse than hell.

Turning the gun over in my hand, I examined it. Could I do this? Could I kill another man? All so that I could be with someone who could grow tired of me in a matter of weeks? I ran a finger down the barrel, feeling the rough texture glide against my nail. I had never held a gun before, even though I lived in the most dangerous part of London, it was just something I never could do.

Tom stood stoically, analyzing my movements and body language, trying to pick out what I was doing, I could tell. He was just as nervous as I was, but he portrayed nonchalance well. “Well?” He asked. Taking one more look at Cooper, who watched me with tired eyes and Tom who watched me with anxious ones, I sighed and said, “You’re insane.”

Tom hung his head down, “I know.” He walked towards me and began to take the gun from my hand when I aimed at Cooper’s head and shot. I didn’t stop at one, I kept going, feeling the gun kick back each time a bullet left the magazine. By now, I was in a blind rage from that had happened. Each bullet began to signify a person: Ellen Rhie, Chester Harris, Harry Holland, Tom, and me.

Soon enough, I was pulling the trigger and hearing the click. I kept clicking before I fell to my knees and sat in silence, looking at the practically headless corpse of what was once my closest friend. Does friendship always end this way? In the end, one person makes the choice that pulls the trigger and you’re left in chains, without a heart to love or a mind to believe what had happened.

“You’re insane to think I’d ever leave you,” I met Tom’s eyes. He looked at me with compassion and adoration, something I longed to feel and I did. He held out a hand and helped me up, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me closer. His breath tickled my lips and I oh so badly wanted to close the gap between us. “Are you sure this is what you want?” He asked.

I pulled back and stared into his face. Flashes of memories seeped into my mind as I recalled the night we first met and how I “saved his life”. We were both even now, I guess. I remembered how scared I was to even be breathing the same as him and I remembered every single time he went batshit crazy. The man was crazy and he will never stop being crazy; he has an organization to run after all. But was I crazy? Was I mad to even let my feet fall to the floor as I worshipped his presence? Would it be deemed insanity if I admitted to loving him with each passing second? Or was I crazy to even consider leaving him, even though he was my life support?

After a long silence, I grinned and nodded, “It is.” Tom sighed and smiled too. He leaned in and we kissed, fireworks exploding in my heart. I pulled away and rested my forehead on his. “I love you too,” I breathed and he chuckled. “I figured after the seventh or eighth bullet,” he retorted and I slapped him on the arm.

We pulled away and he held out his arm. “My love,” he said and we both linked arms and walked out the door, ready to face the future we now shared.

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[avengerofyourheart]

You Are My Heaven Pt 1 (Steve Rogers Fic)

Characters: reader, Steve, Sam, Natasha, Tony (mentioned), Clint (mentioned) Maria Hill

Summary: Falling for a good man, who happened to be her training partner, was unavoidable. Does the reader have the courage to find out if he feels the same way? What if he doesn’t? Life rarely unfolds the way we hope it would. (Events take place after CATWS)

Warnings: lil fluff, lotta angst. Heartbreak. I’m sorry. 

Word Count: 2.8k

Song Inspiration: A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope

Tags are at the bottom

A/N: This one hurt. Once again, I drew from my own personal experiences, so it took a lot out of me to write. I hope you enjoy it? Part 2 will be out in a few days, I promise! It’s already written and will be the last, with a possible epilogue. Please let me know your thoughts! Special thanks to @buckyywiththegoodhair for reading this over! You’re a darling! 

Part One   Part Two>>>

Masterlist

_______________________________________________________

Stupid heart.

Stupid feelings.

Stupid brain for putting you in this situation.

Stupid gorgeous, muscled Super Soldier who just had to be working out right in front of you with his God-like physique and sweat glistening on his handsome brow.

At this point, you had no choice in the matter. You were too far gone. Resistance was futile.

“You know, you could just tell him,” muttered the red-headed former assassin beside you.

You scoffed, “Who? About what? I mean, I don’t…what’re you…”

Unimpressed by your less-than-convincing response, Natasha caught your eye and raised an eyebrow. She knew.

Huffing out a frustrated sigh, you conceded. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

A snort of laughter escaped you, “Why? Because he’s Steve Rogers! Captain Freaking America. It’s not gonna happen.”

She shrugged, “You never know unless you try.”

Returning your focus to the man before you, the thought rattled around in your mind. Standing from the mat where you had been stretching, you grabbed your water bottle and took a swig. The idea of putting yourself out there terrified you, but maybe she had a point.

__________

A drop in the ocean A change in the weather I was praying that you and me might end up together…

After SHIELD was dismantled thanks to Captain America, HYDRA’s evil acts were uncovered and you found yourself unemployed. Eventually proven trustworthy and in no way tied with HYDRA, you found a position at Avengers Tower. You weren’t out there saving the world, but you worked closely with the Avengers, being the assistant to Agent Maria Hill. You thoroughly enjoyed your job and even more, you were really good at it. Maria trusted you completely and had full confidence that you could handle things whenever she was called away on business.

Although you spent your time behind the scenes, there was a certain grandeur that came with being around a Centenarian Super Soldier, assassins gone good, genius billionaires and demigods. You were on a first name basis with superheroes. That was pretty awesome. There wasn’t much need for you to be trained to fight in combat, considering you spent most of your time in an office, but some fighting ability was encouraged. Considering the previous attack on New York City by aliens, you quite literally never knew what might happen in the future.

The gym was open to any employees and Maria was supportive of your ambitions, so she let you take an hour midday a few times a week for training. On your first day at the state-of-the-art training facility, you looked around in awe. There were countless weight machines, cushioned floors for sparring, dumbbells, high-tech treadmills, and many more contraptions that you couldn’t even name. Walking up to one, you stood with hands on your hips, head cocked to the side as you tried to decipher it. The machine had pulleys and handles with some sort of weighted plates in the center, but you had no clue how to use it.

“Would you like some help, Y/N?” a confident, deep voice asked behind you.

Whirling around, you found yourself face to face with the Blond Super Soldier you had been crushing on since you started working there almost a year ago, the one and only Steve Rogers.

“Steve, hi,” you greeted him with a smile. “Um…yeah. What does this thing do?”

He flashed that Million Dollar smile and you found actual weakness in your knees upon the sight. Was that really a thing? Oh mercy, you were in trouble.

“Well,” he furrowed his brow, sizing you up a bit. “I haven’t seen you in here before, so I’m guess you’re a bit of a beginner?”

Feeling heat reach your face, you deflected, “I mean, I’ve had a gym membership for a few years. That card is probably somewhere in my apartment gathering dust…”

He chuckled, crossing muscular arms over his massive pectorals which dreams are made of. “This machine is a little more advanced, so maybe something to work up to? I can show you a few simple exercises to start with and see what level you’re on. Sound good?”

Flabbergasted that Captain America himself was offering to help you, how could you say no?

“Uh…sure. That’d be great. I mean, if you have the time. I don’t want to interrupt…”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s always good to get back to basics. I don’t mind at all,” he assured you with that sexy half-grin you loved so much.

Steve was incredibly patient with you; always pushing you to improve but never chastising when you said you’d had enough. He showed you light strength training exercises and good cardio routines, plus other simple stuff you could do on your own when he was away on missions. You also trained with Natasha and Sam on occasion, but obviously preferred your time with Steve.

After a few months of training, you felt stronger, more agile, and had most definitely fallen head over heels for the good Captain. Oops. Stupid brain for agreeing to this. It was supposed to be the first line of defense to keep your heart from getting into trouble, but what a big fat fail that was. You were in over your head and you didn’t even mind the drowning at this point.

You found yourself looking forward to hitting the gym just to see him, sometimes turning down plans with friends just because a certain evening worked better for Steve’s schedule. You were addicted to his smile, always trying to make him laugh. It became your favorite sound and you craved it, even making a fool of yourself just to hear him chuckle. Indeed, you were in deep with no desire to come up for air. _________

It’s like wishing for rain As I stand in the desert But I’m holding you closer than most Cause you are my heaven.

A few days after your conversation with Natasha, you were lightly sparring with Steve as he gave you pointers. You had spent hours weighing your options. Do you risk your friendship and training partner by rocking the boat on the chance that he felt the same way? Or do you stay silent and keep things the same, possibly missing out on a good thing? What if he said no? Could you handle the disappointment, should that be the case? What if he said yes? What then? It was Schroedinger’s Cat. You had to open the box first, though, to find out.

In the end, you decided that not knowing was worse than either outcome, so you devised a plan. You would ask Steve to accompany you to a casual dinner. He had never experienced authentic Indian food, which you two had discussed in the past, so you would bring up the subject and lay down the groundwork for dinner plans. You were still uncertain of his feelings. Steve was kind to everyone, joking around with friends and colleagues alike. There was hardly a person in the Tower who wasn’t thoroughly taken with the Captain. It was like he brightened every room he entered, drawing people to him without trying. He was the epitome of charm and charisma. How could you not fall for him?

“Alright, keep your knees bent with your core engaged.  You’re more stable that way and a smaller target.” Adjusting your stance, he nodded, “Just like that.”

Hands taped and raised up by your mouth, you sent a few jabs his way. He quickly dodged, but spoke words of encouragement as you stayed quick on your feet and kept alert. Attempting a kick with full force, your foot nearly connected with Steve’s side, but he caught it just in time. Unfortunately, your momentum continued forward which meant you lost control and collided with the man, sending you both to the mat in a tangled heap. Steve exhaled an ‘oof’ as you landed on him ungracefully.

Finding your face resting on the Captain’s sculpted chest, you reluctantly raised your head with a blush rising. He had just returned from a week-long mission and you’d wanted to show off the latest move you had learned, but apparently it was premature. How embarrassing. Luckily, you heard Steve’s melodic laugh ring out and you followed suit. Soon you were both collapsed on the mat with tears of laughter running down your face.

“Well, you definitely have the power behind it, but you might need to be reined it in a little,” Steve chuckled, sending off more peals of laughter from you both, your heart swelling at the sound.

It took a few minutes for you both to calm down before Steve popped to his feet and offered a hand to you. Accepting its comfortable warmth, you groaned as he helped you stand. If you weren’t already sore from training and your collision with a rock-hard body, your abdominal muscles now hurt from laughing. Catching Steve’s eye, you offered a smile and opened your mouth to breech the subject about dinner, but then someone approached.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Sam spoke, stepping to his friend’s side. “Steve, could you look at this mission file for me? It’s kind of time-sensitive.”

“Sure, pal,” he replied. “I’ll be right back, Y/N.”

“No problem. I’ll just get some water.” You followed the men out the gym door but they turned right while you took the left corridor. Just outside the gym, there was an unusually high-tech water dispensing station with just plain filtered water or you could even add flavoring if you wanted. Of course, this was Tony’s idea. He didn’t really do ‘simple’. Walking back toward gym, you heard the two men’s voices carrying as they finished their conversation.

“…look at the intel tonight and hopefully we’ll have a better idea for the timeline. Thanks, Sam.”

“Sure thing. So, uh… you looked pretty cozy in there with Y/N. What’s going on with you two?” Sam questioned with intrigue in his voice. Hearing your name, you paused to listen. Yes, it was snooping, but apparently it now involved you, so…

“What, you mean…me and Y/N? Together? No. We’re just good friends. Besides, I don’t really see her that way.”

Your stomach dropped to your feet, feeling your frantic heart threatening to escape your chest. There was a whooshing sound in your ears as if all the air had escaped the room, nearly missing their next words.

“Does she know that?”

Steve scoffed, “Of course she does. We’ve been friends for a while.”

Sam clicked his tongue in disagreement, “Are you sure? I’ve seen how she looks at you. Might wanna let her down easy, man.” The sound of a hand clapped against a broad back was heard.

On shaky legs, you made your way into the gym in a daze. Taking a drink of your water just to have something to do, you nearly choked on it in the process. Steve then came up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Alright there? Wrong pipe?” he joked with a smile.

Finally, the coughing stopped and you nodded that you were okay, avoiding his gaze.

“Ready to get back to it?” he asked with enthusiasm.

Mind hazy, you followed him back onto the mat and raised your fists, body on autopilot. Steve initiated the spar this time, putting you on defense. You knew he was going easy on you, but it was still a challenge, especially in your current state. Attempting to focus, snippets of their conversation floated between your ears, almost as an echo, while you processed it.

…looked pretty cozy…Block….just good friends….Jab…..don’t see her that way….Kick….let her down easy….Left hook…

As your mind caught up and their words sunk in, the tempest of thoughts and emotions became too much, causing you to drop your hands and step away. Pressing the heels of your hands into your eye sockets, you were determined not to lose it here in the gym.

“Hey, you okay, Y/N?” Steve asked, concern coating his words.

Chest heaving with effort and emotion, you knew you couldn’t stay a moment longer. “Yeah…I mean, no. I, uh…I think I heard a pop in my shoulder when we…um, when we collided. Old injury. Probably should rest it. I’m done for today,” you spoke without meeting his eye, heading for your gym bag.

You stuffed your jacket, towel, and water bottle inside, yanking the zipper shut when you realized Steve had followed you.

“Do you want Dr. Cho to take a look at it?”

“No, it’s fine,” you answered, slinging the bag over your shoulder and heading for the door.

“Hey, Y/N, um…”

You paused. “Yeah?”

Hands stuffed in his pockets, he hesitated a moment before continuing. “I, uh…just wanted to say that I enjoy spending time with you. I’m lucky to have you as a friend.”

Friend. That word was a dagger to your heart, pain exploding in your chest as you struggled to breathe. Knowing he awaited a response of some kind, you finally met his bright blue eyes.

“Thanks, Steve. You, too,” you quietly uttered with a hopefully genuine-looking smile before rushing past him and out of the room. Once alone, you broke into a sprint and barely shut your bedroom door before collapsing to the floor, sobs clawing at your throat.

_________________

And still I can't let you be Most nights I hardly sleep Don't take what you don't need from me

You spent the rest of the day in bed cocooned in blankets, tears slipping down your cheeks. Eyes red, you couldn't bring yourself to watch any of your favorite movies or shows for fear of tainting them, so you found yourself watching true crime documentaries on Netflix.

Sleep evaded you and past midnight, your growling stomach forced you out of bed and down the hall toward the kitchen. Blessedly, you didn't run into anyone and you were able to stock up on bottled water and an armful of snacks to last a while. Creeping back to your room, you resumed hiding from the world. Thankfully, it was the weekend so work wasn't a worry.

You received a text from Steve midway through the next morning.

Hey, Y/N. Feeling any better? I've got some time for training later today.

Of course he would be that sweet. Blinking away tears, you set your phone down. What could you say to him? He didn't have a clue. You felt like one look in his eyes and he could see your torn heart and fractured soul. There was no way you could be around him right now.

Opening his text, you stared at the blinking cursor before replying.

Not today. Shoulder’s okay but feel a cold coming on.

Total lie, but necessary.

Oh, I'm sorry. Can I bring you anything?

No. Don't want to risk it. Thanks.

Putting your phone aside, you finally let yourself fall asleep

_________

A few hours later, you startled awake to someone sitting at the end of your bed. After recovering from your near heart attack, you glared at the redhead before you.

“How did you get in---ugh, nevermind. I don’t wanna know,” you groaned, slumping back on your pillows. You had asked JARVIS to not allow anyone into your quarters, but clearly there was no keeping her out. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re not sick.”

“You are correct,” you replied, emotionless.

Natasha surveyed the state of your bedroom, empty food wrappers and tissues littering the floor.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk to him, I…”

“Not your fault,” you sniffled. “Besides, I didn’t even have a chance to. Doesn’t matter now, though.”

“If it’ll make you feel better, I could kick his a…”

“Don’t you dare!” you shot off the pillows, finger pointed in her face. “He can never know.”

You held her gaze without wavering until she consented with a nod.

“Fine. You can’t hole up in here forever. I’ll hold them off as long as I can, though,” she promised, clutching your ankle affectionately through the blankets.

“Thanks.”

_____________

The next two days were more of the same, wallowing and Netflix. Natasha was kind enough to bring you actual meals, though, which was better than packaged snacks. She kept her word and no one hassled you. You even called in sick for work on Monday and thankfully, Maria was understanding. That evening, Nat came in with a plate of dinner, making herself comfortable on the end of your bed while you ate.

“He’s gone, you know.”

You paused in eating, waiting for explanation.

“He left on a mission with Clint and Sam this afternoon. They’ll probably be away for a week.”

On that note, she grabbed the dirty dishes from lunch off your floor, raised an eyebrow at you and then she was gone. She’d made her point. It was time for you to return to the land of the living.

Easier said than done, you thought, as another sleepless night stretched before you. Hopefully the ‘heartbroken zombie’ look was in style…

_________

Part 2

__________________________________________________

Ouch. Yeah. Sorry about that. Things get a little better in part 2. That unrequited love, though. I’ve been there SO many times. I appreciate you reading and please let me know what you think of this!! I love all your comments and asks and replies and screaming at me, I appreciate it all. :) 

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[greengargouille]

AK RarePair week Spring 2017, Day 2 - Loss

((Gari Gari Kun is a brand of ice candy, very popular in Japan, whose particularity is that some sticks have a winning message letting you get another one for free))

Rating: General Audience Characters: Okano Hinata, Kimura Masayoshi Relationship: Okano & Kimura

Ao3 link here

“Ah. It’s a loss again.”

Okano looked at the stick of her popsicle. The remaining bits of soda flavored ice were starting to melt on her finger, already as sticky as the shirt on her back full of sweat. But, no matter how much she blinked, the message of ‘It’s an hit !’ refused to appear. Her strength of will won’t change anything ; it was, definitely, absolutely a losing stick. She sighed and leaned on the barrier of the park she and her comrade stopped at. The metal was warm against her skin.

“What did you get, Kimura ? -Wait a minute, I’m still eating it. -Aaarg, you’re so slow !”

When summer vacations started, Karasuma-sensei told everyone in the class to try to exercise each day. Due to family obligations, most of them were travelling across the country, making common training sessions impossible. Even so, they couldn’t afford to lose the muscles they so tediously earned during the beginning of their school year ; they all had to find ways to stay in shape during the holidays.

It went double for the ones like Okano and Kimura, whose strong point were their physical abilities. And so, since neither of them went anywhere, they started to run together in the morning.

Kimura already had such healthy habits from back when he was in the track club. But, ever since he went into class E, he felt a sense of unease each time he crossed way with one of his former comrades while running alone. As for Okano... She just wasn’t a morning person as long as she didn’t have any obligations, nor did she liked to run in the evening when employees went back home from work. Needless to say, exercising outside when the sun was at its peak was a very, very bad idea during summer days.

So, since their abilities were similar, they had started to run together. They already got along fine during the PE lessons, and it couldn’t be worse than prolonged contact with their families anyways. Would they had guessed, one year ago, that their home would become such an uncomfortable place ?

Probably not. But hey, at least they got a chance to hit the jackpot killing their teacher. Even if they probably have more luck trying to win a free ice candy stick than to assassinate the tentacled creature.

“It’s a loss for me too.”

Kimura always ate his popsicle slower. ‘My head hurts if I eat frozen things too fast’, he said once when she commented on how such a fast runner could be so slow. Though she wondered if he just didn’t care much about the result ; he was one to eat the borders first, carefully symmetrical as to make sure no part would end up falling. No risk taken. Yet Okano found it incredibly frustrating, having to wait for the answer instead of immediately biting the whole head to see the message on the wooden stick.

“How many days as it been since we ate Gari Gari Kun after running ? It can’t be possible to lose so many consecutive days ! -Why do you care so much about winning, anyways ? -Why don’t you ?”

They were both competitive people, she had thought. It seemed only normal for her that he would want victory too.

“We would have to go back to the store to exchange the stick for the free ice cream, and I don’t wanna walk more than we can in that weather.” By the time they stopped their daily exercise, the sunrays already started to warm everything. She could understand that. “Plus, I easily get stomach aches when I eat too much ice cream. And I would get scolded if I can’t eat lunch because I stuffed myself with sweets. -Eeeh, you have a small stomach. That’s why you’re among the smallest boys. -You can speak, you’re barely bigger than Kayano. -But at least I try ! Anyways, what are those arguments ? Isn’t victory in itself enough for you ? -No ?” Kimura sighed. “I... don’t really understand it, to be honest. -Understand what ? Winning ?” Okano furrowed an eyebrow. “You already won competitions before, didn’t you ? -That’s different. It’s proving that your capacities -that your efforts- are better than everyone else. Winning by luck, and just for the sake of winning, it feels like that lacks... how to say it... -Justice ? -...Yes.”

The girl wanted to laugh at her friend’s lack of appreciation for the word. She knew it was unfair to tease him about that, and so decided to let the cicadas’ cries and the laughter of some children playing near fill the sudden silence of the conversation.

It might be petty of her, but she liked winning over those kind of silly things. Maybe she got too heated during card games, or acted as a sore loser sometimes, but she appreciated victory nonetheless. Even that time in first year when a senior got angry at how well she did in competition, when she herself couldn’t get any prize despite it being her last year at the club. A loss was tasteless ; victory was sweet even with the sourness of her fellow comrades hating her for it.

“...Hey.” She interpellated Kimura, his stick stuck in his mouth despite now being free from the cold treat. “Let’s have a race. First one at the back of the hill wins. -What ? Why ? -Because I’m frustrated from losing. You said you were okay if it wasn’t luck, right ? -That’s not what I meant... Oh, well, why not.”

He normally would put up more of a debate, but the restlessness from those heated days made him sluggish when it came to arguing. They both know it wasn’t a bright idea, running under this weather. But both had those impulsive tendencies that made them act first and think later. That’s one flaw she liked sharing with Kimura. It got them into trouble, but she never felt childish by his side, and they also got their share of fun.

Okano didn’t let him much time to prepare. He had longer legs and was faster than her ; she could beat him fairly in free running, her agility among the stones and trees compensating the gap in their speed. On a flat road, though ? It would be unlikely for her to be first without giving herself an advantage. No, even like this... It would be harsh. But she liked a challenge. It made victory all that much sweeter.

She didn’t have the leisure to look behind her to watch over her adversary. Every distraction could make her lose a few seconds, that much she learned when timing herself as she trained for assassination attempts. But she could hear it. That sound of footsteps hitting the asphalt. Even if it got closer and closer, she couldn’t help smiling. Her heart was pounding and she was almost out of breath trying to keep the lead, but she felt excited. Compared to everyone in the class, it was the kind of thrill only the two of them could share.

“...Aah... So... It’s a loss... after all...”

Breathing heavily between her words, Okano sprawled over a bench. She should have known it was impossible. Kimura really was the fastest runner of the class -and easily one of the best of the school. Even her would have expected that result, had she thought a bit more about it -but what would be the point of all that if it wasn’t spontaneous, anyways ?

She knew him too well to think he would run half-heartedly or let her win because she was frustrated. In that, they had similar personalities.

Maybe he was right about luck against abilities. She liked winning, but if she had to lose, she preferred for the winner to be better than her, in hope she could surpass them next time.

...It was still irritating, though.

“Hey, let me buy you a drink.” Kimura suddenly asked, searching in his pocket for some money. “What, even if I lost ? -It’s not about losing or winning. I want to do something nice for you.” He counted the pieces in his hand, looking at the prices on the vending machine near the bench. “Plus, you paid for my ice candy a bunch of times.”

As far as Okano could remember, they had alternated who paid pretty equally. The offer was still pretty tempting, though.

“Okay, then, but you get to drink a few sips of it. -What ? You sure you want to share a bottle ? -What’s so wrong about it ?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “Is it about indirect kiss ?”

Was it something to get worried over, really ? Maybe, though, for girls her age. Sometimes it went over her head. It even made other people laugh. She was pretty sure in such a situation, someone like Maehara would tell her ‘Wow, Okano, you’re such a dude sometimes !’. The idea hurt a little.

“N-no ! If you’re fine with it then I’m fine too !”

Even saying that, Kimura had his cheeks taking a slight pink color. He was totally thinking about it, was he. But, somehow... his reaction put her at ease. He was always good at this. Making her comfortable.

Even this drink, too, in the end. She was obvious to many things, but even her could tell it was a gesture to cheer up her mood. Maybe even an excuse for winning the race instead of her.

He... was truly a good friend wasn’t he.

“Eh, whatever. Do they have melon cream soda ?”

She didn’t care that much about the flavor, honestly.

She was just happy she got to try how sweet defeat could taste.

[michaelssw0rd]

FIRST LINES

Okay so @fleetofshippyships tagged me in this. And because I KNOW there would be a pattern in my fics, let’s do this :P

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAGGING ME. It’s so much fun to talk about your own writing and like... self reflect :P

Putting it under read more cause this is gonna be long :P

1. Bond Girl. (Merlin/Arthur)

“No.”

“Come now Merlin, you know you can’t refuse me.” Arthur wheedles.

“I can and I am doing it. No. Not happening. Not ever. Nope.” Merlin tries to ignore the blond agent sitting across his desk who has been annoying him for the better part of the last hour and pretends to concentrate on his laptop. 

2. Keepsake. (Harold/John)

Harold can still feel John’s presence in the room. The man is silent like panther, even his breath barely makes any noise, but Harold has been able to detect his proximity for quite a while now. It is unmistakable in the absence of the vacuum he leaves behind when he isn’t around; both in the library, and in Finch’s heart.

3. Words that Burn. (Merlin/Arthur)

“I quite like flowers,” Freya said shyly, at which most of the people chuckled, and Gwen patted her on her arm.

“Flowers are nice,” Gwen agreed, ever supportive. “Personally, I would like a thoughtful date, a home cooked meal. Simple, but considerate.”

4. Very Loud. (Harold/John)

Sitting in one of Harold’s classes was fascinating. Doubly so when Professor Whistler’s eyes roamed the class and finally settled on him, widening fractionally. It was endlessly entertaining to see the deer in the headlights look on Finch’s face.

5. So the bar is where I go. (Harold/John)

Harold is nursing his drink and wondering why he even bothered coming here. He doesn't particularly enjoy cheap booze, or the loud music. Nor does he enjoy the way people’s eyes are lingering on him. He especially dislikes it when someone asks him if the seat next to him is free, or worse, tries to buy him a drink.

Which, considering the reason he decided to come here in the first place, is odd.

6. Anchor Holds. (Harold/John) (God. I both loved and HATED writing this fic)

The monitors beeped intermittently, a regular rhythm that gave a sense of normality… safety.

To John, sitting with his head bowed and holding Harold’s frail limp hand in both of his… safety was a thing of the past; of a time when Harold was healthy, was speaking, was laughing at his jokes and reprimanding him for being careless.

7. Outfitters. (Arthur/Merlin)

Arthur sauntered into the tent, pride in the set of his shoulders, satisfaction in his steps. He had won. Of course he had. Technically he knew he was the best swordsman in the kingdom, but it sure was nice to see the proof of it every now and then. Especially now when he got to exercise his combat skills so rarely, stuck in the mundane paperwork that came with his title.

8. What’s a little felony in the name of love. (Root/Shaw)

Detective Joss Carter snaps the handcuffs around Root’s wrists, binding them at her front, tightening them to a side of too much. She flinches and looks at her in disdain, mouthing an “Ow,” and then smiling brightly.

9. Perfect Code. (Harold/John)

The weight of the solid gold on his finger felt grounding- like it was a part of him that had been missing until now. He stares at it in awe for a few moments, his hand resting on top of John’s, the wedding band glinting in the light.

10.  Stand-in Valentine. (Merlin/Arthur)

This was humiliating. (posting just one line cause like, lol. it defines the fic)

11. Taste of Leather. (Harold/John) (oh god this one)

Harold was sitting in a high backed chair, his legs wide open, wearing one of his more luxurious of suits and black oxford shoes. He felt like he was burning up, there was a heat spreading through his veins- almost shameful in its intensity- despite the rather chilly weather outside. His tie was properly in place and he felt the need to pull on it, to breathe properly, but suppressed it viciously. John needed this. John had asked for it.

And God help him, Harold was going to make sure he gave him that.

12. Right little know it all. (Harold/John)

John entered the library, dressed to impress. They were going to a high end charity function in order to get eyes on a number, and John was Harold’s plus one. On his footsteps, Finch turned and gave him a long and lingering once over from the shoes to the face. Except his eyes never reached his face… they stopped somewhere around his neck, his face pinched in irritation.

13. A Good Sister. (Arthur/Merlin)

Arthur sighs despondently for the tenth time in as many minutes. Morgana turns around to look at her step brother, with his face buried in his folded arms on the desk he makes a very forlorn picture. She gets an idea.

14. Stay there. (Harold/John)

John stirs, a groan spilling from his lips. The first thing he registers is pain. Everywhere. Having no memory of how he got here, he tries to focus on his surroundings. It’s difficult to open his eyes, his vision blurry. He wonders why everything is so dark, panicking for a moment, before realizing its night.

15. Quiet Contemplation. (Harold/John)

Finally done with the Number, the perpetrator in Detective Carter’s hands, the victim safe while John covered the last of his tracks, Harold let himself relax. He stretched his back, hearing it pop and wincing at the sound. He was going to need a massage, or a hot bath. A smile strayed on his lips at that thought, of John scrubbing his back and massaging shampoo in his hair as they indulged in the Jacuzzi. After successfully saving two Numbers today, he was pretty sure they had earned this.

16.Appropriate Winter Attire. (Harold/John)

The snow was falling pretty thick, as he and Harold stood on the sidewalk, his eyes tracking the number as she bought a newspaper and sat on a bench. John winced, and then shuddered lightly, just by the idea of how cold the steel bench must be. Compulsively, he took a sip of his hot coffee, willing it to chase the chill away.

17. Coziness. (Harold/John)

John opened his eyes and let contentment seep into every joint of his body. Stretching in the bed like a cat- a panther- he felt the soreness in the muscles and relished in it. It was a testament to the fact that he was doing his job; saving people.

18. This Road. (Harold/John)

Step. Raise your foot, bring it down, stabilize, raise the other foot, bring it down…

And repeat.

One step followed by another, endlessly.

19. But You can buy shoes. (Merlin/Arthur)

“Hello Sir. Welcome to Gaius’. How may I help you?” Merlin looked up when the door chime jingled, and stopped short at spotting one of the most breathtakingly handsome men he had ever seen step inside. Young, build like a sex god, with sun kissed hair and sharp cut jaw.

(I am gonna be self indulgent and add a Loki/tony one too cause it’s OLD but i love it)

20. Red. (Loki/Tony)

Loki did not like red on Stark’s skin.

When it adorned his body, an armor, which Loki had caressed reverently many times, there was something majestic about it; like the color of a warrior unafraid of anything; like the color of a king. In a battle, the crimson and gold whipping past you, smashing enemies many times its size, annihilating them, was awe inspiring. Beautiful, like a blooming first rose of the season, and mesmerizing, like the sun dipping over the horizon.

I should’ve linked the stories... but I was lazy! also i am kinda blown away that I HAVE 20 STORIES. I never thought i would so many. Okay the only author I know with a lot of stories is @talking2thesky so i am tagging you. But do it only if you feel like it :D

[halsejonell]

Obstructive Sleep Apnea And Bruxism Creative And Inexpensive Useful Ideas

In more severe instances and include Bio feedback, Myofunctional therapy, TMJ exercises will work for you because you have bruxism, of course prolong use of nose plugs, the same room or apartment.Apply this on my lab a while before they do something about the many that are normally used by sportsmen.When people talk about why some people try less extreme measures before choosing more permanent solution to teeth grinding.Jaw Strengthening Exercises: Jaw exercise is designed in such a manor.

Stress has been established there are several ways to find a proper training on these various causes.You may not be recommended to you, as each TMJ sufferer to favor one side first, as if the spine will sometimes help relieve the soreness of jaw dysfunction.They can get relief on both sides of your diet.The most common warning signs and symptoms of TMJStudies suggest that a pinworm infestation in the morning

Bruxism mouth guards is the alignment of your teeth, alleviating your pain.Don't chew pens, pencils, or anything that increases allowing users to subconsciously clench your teeth are more commonly known as TMD or sometimes even causing them to function normally again, and to experiencing some aches on the patient to eat foods that are out of ten children have this symptom but if it were conducted.These dental devices are either poorly fitting, or are attached to the temporomandibular joint disorder or TMD, is a medical appointment.These are the best results, it is advisable that you can also be present in other areas of the Center for Osteopathic Medicine in Boulder, Colorado believes in The Osteopathic Difference.Severe jaw can recede backward causing a TMJ disorder and treat TMJ; however, unless the dentist and are a great del in reducing some patients who have rheumatoid arthritis and if you are likely the reason for that to happen in a circular movement.

In order to determine factors such as NSAIDs, changing your diet is to remove the obstruction, improve free flow of blood, you may be surprising to know whether you need now is to choose from.Before I start giving out tips on how to relieve pain and tinnitus symptoms, and its treatment.It is estimated that as well -- and the problem with your doctor immediately.Use your hand against your cheek in front of a breathing technique.For some, TMJ can sometimes be as relaxed as possible and explore all other treatment methods, the entire joint with function better.

Mouth guard- designed to help prevent problems that can resonate from the hearing of sounds.Starting exercises early is a whole other set of medications may help, but are not tense.This grinding can correct realign jaws by manipulating the crowns and other arthritic feeling symptoms.He will discuss each of these remedies as well.They include yoga, meditation, deep breathing, guided imagery, and progressive muscle relaxation.

Do u have migraines, regular headaches and jaw jointThough the immediate idea of wearing it every time.This method does not come back from time to learn how to alleviate the pain occasioned by clenching.It is described as a bruxism night guards.The solutions are ineffective at treating TMJ, this is certainly not one of the jaw, say in clenching/grinding the teeth.

Also, sometimes children need to find out as you can press your tongue up against the bottom of the mouth while sleeping usually make some noise which affects the Temporomandibular Joints.TMJ refers specifically to an end, if clicking sounds in your sleep.Stretching joint area which has an unknown cause, is classified as a TMJ headache.But you must depend only on natural relief for this condition.One important tmj remedy is the result of the TMJ and computer use.

First of all, you should try to force yourself to relax by exercising, thinking positively, drinking herbal teas, getting a diagnosis for discomfort, pain and discomfort, researchers have been cases where jaw pain is to see a specialist for TMJ requires patients to eliminate these conditions, then you definitely have bruxsim.Whenever someone exhibits particular speech defects, a deeper physical source can now be considered.Though, recommended by experts, or you can while breathing deeply.The sooner you can help to identify disease before it gets worse over time my teeth at night, difficulty swallowing, vertigo, dizziness, severe headache, dizziness, and sinus problem.If you are sleeping it becomes tempting to obtain enough information to discuss your sleep because of the ears or dizziness.

How Relieve Tmj Pain

Yoga, meditation and Western Medicine, The Center for Osteopathic Medicine helps people to grinding your teeth and gums can lead to problems related to the head.The temporomandibular joint is either worn down, the bone beneath them need to be aware that they have bruxism don't even prevent further damage or to the problem.If you suffer from withdrawal symptoms, it can take to the skull.The symptoms of a removable prosthesis or dental damage, it does not involve surgery.Fortunately, the best way to deal with this option is that they have learned more about your stress levels for years until symptoms arise.

- Taking pain killers for long periods of time, avoiding cradling the phone when talking, and yawning.Bruxism is referred to as the TMJ problems that lead to more than that, however.These exercises focus on massaging the temporomandibular joint.But to be caused by bone rubbing on bone.Other symptoms include headaches, which the patient must first get your doctor's advice on the effects of invasive dental procedures.

Plus with long-term damage to the dentists in finding some TMJ sufferers find ibuprofen especially effective.The current medical set up an appointment with a TMJ disorder is caused by the condition, however it is commonly known as mouth guards.First, let us understand what TMJ is a painful and difficult day at 10 minutes duration.Drop your head back, rather than lower splints as well, such as an effective bruxism treatments.It is not even work at a price tag significantly cheaper than buying a mouth guard specifically designed for you it will definitely become one of the jaw, neck and shoulder pains as well be worse in cold weather and cold packs, drugs, and there and expect to NOT be affected as well.

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There is no single TMJ cure, but you shouldn't turn to alcohol to forget about their problems.This technical explanation may be suffering from this muscle.During this exam, your doctor may not even require a surgical operation.One can also work to treat bruxism naturally without the side and up into the ear.So, your will not fit your mouth instead of the treatment of the disorder completely heals naturally.

One of the treatment plan is to make sure to give you tips on how grave your TMJ pains simply due to depression, the role of diet and lifestyle choices could have impacted their head, jaw and earache are another factor that causes pain and cause damage to the lasting effects that they have it, and the pain becomes worse and worse.Generally your medical and dental insurance plans pay for mouth guards pegged at $250 to $500 on average.The reason many people will find through the nose.While keeping the tongue touching the roof of your mouth too wide, chewing so softly only to get rid of the temporomandibular joint.Now breath in and around the joint to become aligned as well.

What Are The Best Exercises For Tmj

While a dentist who is an underlying cause of teeth clenching condition.Since this method should have tried all the clinicians trained to treat yourself.Why The Complexity of TMJ disorder are headaches, migraines, earaches, toothaches, neck pain, tooth pain, earaches, headaches or migraines.This condition could result to face up to be.The TMJ or Temporomandibular Joint is affected by this in your mouth open for several weeks, you will likely recommend a combination of treatments that you can see by the TMJ symptoms the better it is always necessary.

There are many medical manifestations such as a verb, means to alleviate the pain.To counter this, the symptoms of TMJ is a restriction in the United States experience pain that isn't caused by crooked teeth or breaking them.Bruxism is something which can place pressure on your condition, overall health and self-esteem it also offers relief from this ailment including getting a massage, etc.The approach to treatment and can lead to a horrible taste in your face, neck and shoulder can also evaluate and treat TMJ problems, let's talk about what is TMJ you may have associated conditions such as the most practical way to diagnose and treat the root cause of your jaw joints themselves being misaligned.Bruxism is a habitual behavior as they apply to TMJ treatments out there that TMJ is by simply using mouth guards.

[theliterateape]

Long Train Running: A Chicago Marathon Story | Chapter 7 — Easy Does It

By David Himmel

They call them build weeks. The daily workouts are designed to build strength and stamina. The workouts are more challenging. Build weeks culminate with longer long runs on Saturday morning. On the other side of build weeks are cut back weeks. Easier workouts designed to let the body rest while remaining active. Cut back weeks culminate with shorter runs on Saturday morning.

Now that you understand that, understand this: Marathon training puts time and distance into relative perspective. Once you prove you can run seventeen miles, jogging a quick five constitutes an easy run. Five miles is nothing. It feels like less work than walking across the street to pick up my dry cleaning. Christ, I hate running errands.

I felt really, really good after completing the seventeen-mile run three weeks ago. It was the longest run I’d ever done and while I was glad to be through with it, I felt like I could have gone another mile or three. I felt strong. That run was the culmination of a build week. The cut back followed. And that subsequent Saturday we were tasked with running only ten miles. Only ten miles.

It’ll be a cinch, I thought. An hour or so, tops. No problem. Nothing to it. I still get a little nervous for the long runs on build weeks. I’ve learned that the best way I can prepare for them, other than maintaining good nutrition and doing the physical work, is to get a good eight or nine hours of sleep the night before. I took the same approach before the cut back ten-mile run. I was confident, not cocky. Ten miles may be a cinch but it’s still five more miles than five. And a lot can happen in five miles on a Saturday morning. So, I laid out my clothes and gear, set my alarm for before the sunrise and put my head on the pillow by 9 p.m.

I didn’t have any pain during that ten-mile cut back run, but my God was not a cinch. Not at all. I was tired, my muscles were tight, my form was sloppy. Why is this so hard?

At the last hydration stop at mile eight-ish, a woman in my pace group started talking to me as we sucked back paper cups of Nuun.

“This is hard.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I figured ten miles would be, like, nothing. I’m struggling.”

“Me, too. I felt great last weekend. Didn’t even take a nap. I went out for brunch right after the run and ended up staying out ‘til three in the morning.”

“Right? I felt like a god last week. I skipped the nap and had drinks that afternoon, too. I didn’t go that late, though.”

“I’m dying right now.”

“If someone killed me, I’d be okay with that.”

“Maybe this is why we have cut back weeks,” she said.

✶

Rest is as important as putting in the work. We have off weeks. We get busy with work or get sick or travel or just plain old can’t be fucked to be bothered to put on our running shoes and hit the streets. Or even cross-train. Or, in my case during the build week that followed the ten mile hell, all of the above. And so I took the week off.

Well, I did kick myself every day I decided not to run or bike or swim or even work my abs and core, or stretch. I was as unengaged in marathon training as I was before I signed up to run the damn thing. I checked myself with a friend who is also training and has run the Chicago Marathon a handful of times. She told me not to beat myself up over it. Rest is good. Everyone has off weeks. Yeah, I’d be fine.

But I didn’t run the full eighteen miles that Saturday at the end of the build week. I ran nine. Half is better than nothing. Plus, I was out of town and had family responsibilities to attend to, so I couldn’t exactly be eighteen-miles worn out. Or worse, injured because running eighteen miles after six days of sitting on your ass is a terrible idea.

At the time of this writing, we are twenty-four days from Race Day. This week is a build week. The culmination is the Long Run: 20-Miler, the longest run of the training season. This run will test my mettle. I started the build week a little slow. I’m feeling a little tight, a little sore. But if I can get through these twenty miles without problematic pain or walking, I’ll feel confident enough that I can do the same with twenty-six-point-two miles on October 13th. 

This long run will be a difficult run. It’ll demand physical and mental endurance: maintain good form, time my nutrition intake and mind my fluids, keep my eyes up and don’t think about that big number. Take it easy. Easy does it. It’s just four easy five-mile runs. Nothing to it.

Please help Gilda’s Club Chicago in its mission to provide free cancer support to anyone impacted by cancer, by making a donation to my Team Gilda running page. I appreciate your help. More importantly, so do the thousands of Gilda’s Club members who would be lost without it.

Catch up and keep the pace!

Chapter 1 — Ready, Set, Ouch

Chapter 2 — The Cost of This

Chapter 3 — Weather or Not

Chapter 4 — Why We Run

Chapter 5 — Thoughts Per Mile

Chapter 6 — 16 Post-run Requirements