#//ooc tag i guess
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a small idea for which i had to learn how to work with the isat dialogue maker
i like the "ghost" option, but what if we look at Loop's situation from a slightly different perspective?
#well shit how do i tag this#meadowstuff#???#in stars and time#isat spoilers#<- i guess#isat loop#isat siffrin#might be ooc but i was too locked in to care#yeah yeah we don't know if angels are even a thing in isat#but again. just an idea
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Folks should be mindful when engaging with Black creator's OCs through appreciation type stuff (gifts of fanart/fanfic/etc).
If you're unsure if you're capturing the essence/appearance/personality of their OC, ASK!
I understand wanting to surprise a creator with a gift because you want to show your appreciation for their OC. But that gift is harmful when the creator sees you've whitewashed their OC or applied stereotypes or tropes that aren't a part of the character.
When in doubt, ask
#razrogue rants#this isn't about anyone engaging with me in particular#it's just a thought I had this morning#if you can't find what you need in their OC's tag please send them a DM or a private ask#don't create harmful media of their OC and then expect them to appreciate it#I'm sure most Black creators are like me & would rather you ask us if you're uncertain#I can't speak for all but I know I sure as hell don't want to see my OC written or drawn OOC#and well I can't do anything about folks who don't think they've done anything wrong when they have#take your L and go reflect I guess 🤷🏾♀️
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Im back on my shark Vox bs- hey did you guys know sharks eat eachother all the time? That combine w/ the idea that Alastor tries to get all of his friends into cannibalism like some kinda morbid pyramid scheme, I obviously had to draw something about it lmao.
I really need to get better at drawing Alastor... also FUCK I ALWAYS FORGET HIS GODDAMN ANTLERS I HATE IT HERE-
#might be slightly ooc but this was the first scenario to pop into my head and Im too tired to think of smthn else rn#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox#vox hazbin hotel#staticradio#radiostatic#I guess#drawing#art#fan art#shark vox#<- just learned this is a tag lmfak
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griseo taking her hyperfixation too far
#honkai impact#griseo#how do i tag the vitas.#honkai vita#i guess.#a-u art dump#entirely ooc but i had to redraw this meme#its been a while since i rendered something like this... God
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I'm gonna say something that 90% of you will hate but it's what's on my heart—now that we've seen Pedro and Vanessa speak in every interview about how this couple is so passionately in love and dedicated to each other and have been married for decades—I wish we could let this be the ONE Pedro character whose fanfic isn't completely overwhelmed by x reader fic instead of even consiiiidering respecting and exploring his canon relationship 😔
#i'm not dumb i know the answer to this will be: no#and that's fine bc it's a ME issue i guess#i just am already foreseeing myself having to blacklist his tag because i know this is going to bother me#just like i've had to filter joel's tag bc the unrecognizable ooc age gap dbf nonsense was literally making me like him less as a character#and it bums me out#the fandom experiences i came up in never involved reader fic so i'm still a little confused about how for so many people it's just#the default way to engage with canon material as a fan/writer#but it takes all kinds etc etc#i guess i just wish the canon relationship stuff didn't always feel shoved aside
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writing replies but art is here too. casey if he had ended up actually getting into racing with chick like their original plan was before their fallout. did you know that pringles were apparently invented in 1968? i did not before today. convenient.
#⚡︎ [OOC]#⚡︎ [MUN ART]#pixar cars#i have 5000 different aus surrounding this guy because he's technically ''officially'' dead in fan-canon#but i also want to involve him in story otherwise.#i should just make a blog for art i guess but i don't want to make another acc sawry#it's MY blog and YOU get to choose the tag blacklist
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Death note au (dimension travel?)
Light yagami gets transported to a dating sim, except he doesn't know it and he keeps making the genre horror like the universe is like sir 😭😭 stop killing people pls and start embarking the life of romance. I know the story includes mystery and police but it's only for the plot because somehow at that time the genre of detective dating sim were popular.
Events that happened prior to waking up the next morning after getting electrocuted. He turns to a corner and bumps to a (pretty) gangster and in his mind he's like (oh wow I'm gonna kill this guy). Days later he does write the guys name on the death note because he saw them steal or something. Next day, he trips over nothing and into the arms of some rich narcissistic dude who kept asking him to pay for his clothes, he does, although reluctantly. Or like meets his kind shy classmate (who is also a capture target) and manipulates the man like 😭😭
- alright my idea was that, sayu forced light to play the dating sim (aka force him to solve the puzzles ) that interested her because she heard ryuga hideki was there only to be disappointed that it was just a fake name by the greatest detective L, which isn't her type and stops playing
- he stops playing too, and continues to write in his deathnote until he idk trips and smashes his head his computer. get electrocuted and wakes up in his bed but keeps the death note for some reason
- continues to kill criminals but... he notices something weird (its normal for people to be clumsy at times, but for him? And as many times as to embarrass himself in front of people? That's not normal), and now he's having auditory hallucination that he hears sounds when he talks to other people.
- L doesn't exist in light's universe aright? So imagine lights surprise when the broadcast confrontation happens. He goes to sayu to ask her about the game and sayu is confused and was like "what game?" And when he retells the event, she's like I went to u last time to help me with my quadratic formula? Are u okay brother?
Ah, I must've forgotten due to stress of the exams
- sayu doesn't remember the game
(He accidentally goes to L's route because he intrigued him by literally becoming a suspect for being a mass murderer. While in the game, the only way to go to L's route was by choosing police officer as a career and try to solve crimes with L. Even then u guys only interact via call lmao)
Logic: protagonist shapes the world of the game, so when light remembers his school and its location its still the same. There are, although, some things that are constant which is the capture targets and their inevitable meeting with the protagonist, but only takes form of what is in the protagonist reality (likr with the classmate). If the character is not someone he knows then it would take shape to the games reality (like the appearance of L and his successors).
Possible Plot twist: no lawlight, light's an aroace and the dating sim was doomed from the start.
#death note#death note au#l lawliet#light yagami#lawlight#ryuk is just spectating the whole thing and laughing at lights misery#im not sure if theres any fic like this and what the tag would be#but if there is one pls rec it to me 😭#this was a 3am inspirstion hitting me#if theyre ooc uhhhh headcanon i guess?#imagine where orig protag and misa becomes friends because orig protag helps with putting her parents killer to jail fro life#and was suppose to be that best friend in dating sims where they give information about the capture targets
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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way#one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
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more of my modern au which im going to name "The Legend of Zelda: The 11:59 Deadline" bc tbh that really encapsulates this whole au
#full disclosure i uh do not know shit about fi so if shes ooc sorry#loz#modern au#loz modern au#thanks to somebody in the tags for the name idea lol#legend of zelda#loz11:59#thats what im gonna call it i guess#op art#botw#totk
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Imagine Reo having a crush on you, and offering you rides to school (or wherever), but, while you may have lowkey feelings for him to, you are adamant to your usual routine/habits, that includes taking public transport.
One day while you are on your way to school, you spot in the crowded transport a familiar head in between the crow and its Reo. He decided to take an uncomfortable public transport just to be with you.
And he makes his way towards you, with a beaming expression, kind of ignoring the crowd around you.
If it’s too crowdy he would take a spot near you. If you guys are standing, imagine bumping/getting closer to each other because of the transport movements, and he would carefully and gently have a hand placed on your back to help you stay steady (and boy, you two are so close to each other.)
#idk if this is ooc#I think its cute#idk why I'm havin Reo thoughts..............#editing in more tags#reo x reader#reo mikage x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#i guess#彡 wandering star... ; thoughts
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Don't mind me just
Smacks Gregory over the head with burnt out gifted kid syndrome™
#am i self projecting?#nooooo#okay maybe a little#but just hear me out i could do a whole ass ramble about how this could work#Gregory putting a fuckton of pressure on himself to be perfect to uphold the reputation of the 4.0 gpa hes oh so proud of#so hes determined to be perfect at everything even if that means overworking himself to achive the results#you could even make the argument that his parents expect him to be some sort of prodigy or smth if you wanna go that route#so because of their expectations or (what he interprets as) the expectations of his peers he just puts more pressure on himself and#FUCKKK SOMEONE TELL HIM ITS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES PLEASE PLEA SE#ack sorry im rambling here but yeee#i guess you could say they have great expecta-💥💥💥#okay now im done#sorry if this ramble seems ooc or smth just#hell yeahhh pushing my feelings onto a fictional character to cope :'D#South park#south park headcanon#i need to make a tag for my own headcanons tbh#Gregory of yardale#sp gregory#sp foreign kids
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Dying Star
In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
You think about dead stars.
You think about time.
- - - - - - -
Sam’s words have been weighing heavy on your mind ever since you discussed your shared future and the various forms it could take. You didn’t realize just how heavy they were until it all came spilling out of your tired mind on a late night spent together beneath the stars.
Pairing: Sam x Darlin' / Reader
Word Count: 4,053
Contains: [angst] [a dash of humor] [a hint of chubby!Sam bc i like 'em strong and soft] [crying] [cuddling (dub-con cuddles with Quinn in the past & consensual ones with Sam in the present)] [emotional hurt/comfort] [implied/referenced dub-con sex (nothing graphic) (in the past between Darlin' and Quinn to be specific) (refer to my Ao3 notes for further explanation)] [mentioned Quinn] [not quite Dissociation i guess but Darlin' does zone-out/get lost in thought more than once] [pet names (Darlin' (obvs.) and honey)] [Reader is Darlin'] [Sam wears a cowboy hat bc i said so] [some passive suicidality from Sam if you squint (hell, maybe you don't even have to squint)]
A/Ns: Well, well, well, here I am, the person who said they wouldn't write any Redactedverse fanfic. I recently felt a mighty need to expand upon the blurb I wrote in this post, and I'm braving my fandom anxiety by sharing it here. pls be nice 2 me abt it
Timeline-wise, this fic takes place sometime after the ‘Talking About the Future With Your Vampire Mate’ audio but sometime before their presumed eventual departure from the house that William gave Sam, given that they've already had the 'turning' discussion but are still on the same roof in this fic.
This is a songfic, inspired by and quoting verses from 3 songs. Those being:
‘Dying Star’ by Ashnikko feat. Ethel Cain
‘Fix What You Didn’t Break’ by Nate Smith
‘No Plan’ by Hozier
The roof of Sam’s house is far from a ‘cushy’ place to relax. But as you lie here next to him under the stars, a knowledge settles within you that you wouldn’t trade the rough shingles beneath you for the softest mattress in the world. Not if it meant there’d be anyone other than him lying next to you.
Some people might counter that it’s an easy thing for you to say, given the number of nights you’ve thrown a balled-up shirt onto one end of a worn-out couch and called it a bed. But some people don’t know you as well as they think they do.
You’ve known luxury. Quinn might’ve been just as content taking his fill on a seedy motel bed as he was wrapped in silks at a Hilton, but he knew how to play up the luxe when it served him to do so. And in the early days as he worked to lure you in, it did. Plush sheets and expensive drinks helped to soften the preordained blows and dull the imminent pain that your nights with him held.
Once you’d latched onto the bait though, he let the act drop one piece at a time, like props collapsing on a stage. After all, what was the point in all of those frivolities when you both knew what you really came to him for? It wasn’t to be wined and dined, it wasn’t to be dressed up and shown off, and it wasn’t even to be slowly stripped of it all, laid out across the rolling clouds of a pillowy mattress.
It was to be used. Tranced. Restrained. Bitten. Drank from. Choked. Hit. Edged. Denied. Made to writhe and whine and bleed and plead. Plead for more, for less, for nothing, for anything. Anything to quiet your mind and fill the ever-expanding void inside you where you suspect love was supposed to live.
That’s what you both really wanted.
At least, that’s what you told him you wanted.
That’s what you told yourself.
You only got what you asked for.
To your right, Sam stirs, stretching gently with a yawn. The soft noise he releases as he does so reminds you of where you are, and you trace back through your thoughts to find how you got so lost.
…Right. Luxury.
While your relationship with Quinn certainly changed over time, you never forgot what it felt like in the beginning.
You remember nights laid next to him, body sore, mind quiet. Quinn’s idea of aftercare was lacking to say the least, but you had nothing better to compare it to at the time, and you’d take what you could get. At least your head felt empty, and the bed was soft. Exhaustion would pull you under soon enough.
The mattress, sheets, and pillows enveloping you were likely worth more than you even made that past month. ...Or several. You found that display of luxury hard to be impressed by though, when it wasn’t the type of comfort you’d been seeking.
As Quinn shifted in his presumed sleep, pulling you in tighter, you didn’t fight it. You found yourself unwilling to fight anything he did, like his mere presence was enough to drain the fight right out of you. You told yourself that you were okay with that. Because you wanted it.
Lying there with your head on his bare chest, you took a deep breath and told yourself that you liked the stench of cheap cologne, poorly masking the cigarettes and alcohol on his breath. You silently told yourself that you liked everything. You liked the pain that he chased with hints of pleasure. You liked the loss of power, the way you couldn’t fight back if you wanted to once he looked you in the eyes. You liked all the things he said, no matter how much the truth might hurt.
He was right, you supposed. Your desires, the things you craved, the depravity that you so enjoyed, wasn’t normal. It was uncommon, unusual, and in the eyes of some, unfathomable. To possess such dark desires, there must be something truly broken inside you.
How lucky you were, to have found someone willing to indulge you. Someone that could give you everything you wanted, and be so kind as to keep it a secret too. He promised that word of the things he did to you, the things you let him do, would never get out. You remember the way he held your hand as he told you, falling for the guise of sincerity in his eyes. You remember his warm smile, and his razor sharp teeth.
You remember seeing that exact same smile on his face through one-way glass as he sat across from Sam and told him everything.
You stood in that room and thought back to those nights of luxury. To the feeling of his nails ghosting over the freshly healed punctures in your neck. To the way he held you against him. You remember laying there, lifeless, feeling like prey playing dead. Afraid to move, afraid to disturb him. But why? He hadn’t threatened you. He never told you that you had to stay. He never said that you couldn’t move, or pull away. So why did you feel that way?
As you stood, helplessly witnessing hours of his slander in that interrogation room, you understood. Your rose-tinted glasses had long since shattered, and you saw that smile for what it was. It was the smile of a man playing a dangerous game, brimming with satisfaction, thinking he’d won.
The radio near you begins to crackle, static obscuring the hosts voice as they announce the upcoming song. Sam doesn’t even open his eyes, just raises a hand and reaches out, blindly adjusting the antenna of the old device.
You’ve teased him for holding onto it for so long, as he is wont to do with damn near all of his possessions. But as you watch him deftly extend and angle the antenna with practiced care, the response he once gave you proves itself true once again.
“I don’t wanna replace it, Darlin’. It’s not broken. It just needs someone who knows how to make it sing again.”
The static clears, and music flows through the radio’s old speakers once more.
You watch Sam return his hand to its prior position beneath his head, acting as a makeshift pillow of his own. The way he’s lying has his hat pushed forward, and it’d be doing a damn good job of shielding his face from the sun if it weren’t somewhere around midnight at the moment. Still, it suits him somehow, despite its lack of any practicality. All he’s missing is a stalk of wheat between his teeth and a tree to lean against and he’d be the spitting image of the cowboy he swears he isn’t.
His other hand rests on the soft curve of his stomach, rising and falling again as he breathes. He’s the image of peace in moments like these, and you’re drawn to it like a moth to flame. Maybe one of these days you’ll find some of your own, but for now you’re more than content to bask in his.
As you admire him, he takes a slow, deep breath and you mirror it on instinct. The grounding practice helps you leave your mind and return to your body, if just for a moment. In doing so, you realize just how tense your ruminations have made you.
You relax your hands, releasing the blanket beneath you from your iron grip. You brush your palms over it, worried that you’ve torn the fabric once you realize that your nails had halfway shifted to claws. You don’t fret much over damage to your own possessions, but this blanket is Sam’s and you’d hate to ruin it. Though, you suppose he doesn’t prize it too much or he wouldn’t have laid it out here across the roof in the first place.
“If I buy somethin’ it’s because I wanna use it. Now quit frettin’ and get over here.” You recall what he told you earlier as he patted the blanket next to him in invitation, and you smile.
Doing a small stretch of your own, you release the tension in your shoulders, turning your attention back to the stars above you. For a while, you let the soft music wash over your tired mind.
“I asked him not to kill me politely. He drained my magic core, bottled up at the source. I washed up on the sea glass shores. I’m nobody's captive.”
In spite of your best efforts to relax, you’re still subconsciously futzing with the loose threads of the old blanket beneath you.
You’re made aware of it when Sam reaches a hand down, gently laying it over yours and effectively stilling your anxious motion.
“Burning like a dying star, invasive weeds rooted in my heart, set in a crooked trajectory. The journey here was hard, I was almost pulled apart. Trying to leave his orbit took what’s left of me.”
You flip your hand over beneath his so you can hold it properly, lacing your fingers together.
For reasons beyond your understanding, emotion tightens your throat, the threat of tears pooling in your eyes.
…You must be more tired than you thought.
As minutes pass and one song fades into another, your gaze dances across the blurry, scattered points of light in the dark sky.
“You were the star in the pitch black, shine the way on the way back. Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers.”
Sam’s always been so much better at identifying stars and finding constellations. But as the music plays, you begin to see one of your own.
“Picked up the towel that I threw in, took in a heart that was ruined. Showed me the past ain’t a tattoo, loved me even when you didn’t have to.”
“Sam.” You squeeze his hand to get his attention.
He squeezes back in acknowledgment. “Hm?”
“I want you to look at something.” You swallow back the emotion that tries to seep into your voice, but it catches his attention all the same.
He leans up and lifts his hat from his head, setting it aside near the radio. He then reaches to turn a dial back, lowering the music’s volume to give you his full attention.
You release his hand, raising yours up as he turns back to face you. You don’t say anything at first, nearly too lost in your own mind to realize you need to actually voice your developing thoughts.
"What—what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"
Your hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in your line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above you. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."
Sam does his best to follow your less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', your pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along your exposed wrist where your sleeve had slipped back, he takes your hand in his again and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"
"That's you." You say, matter-of-factly.
"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.
"Mhm." You nod with finality, blinking slow.
Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting you. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."
You scoff. "I am being serious."
Sam stifles a laugh. "No—no I mean—like... what's another name for it... Oh, it's also called the Dog Star."
"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."
He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but you cut him off before he can start. "But no. No, this isn't about me. That's you."
He decides to play along, finding something endearing in your overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"
Your frown is audible in your voice as you latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"
He smiles at your over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, honey, I promise."
You huff, but begrudgingly shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention.”
Sam’s brow furrows as you continue to explain, realization setting in that you really are being serious.
“I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...And there you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places and people that I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, at Wonderworld, surrounded by the ghost of him. Your warmth, your presence, your aura—even with all of your walls up, you outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me home."
In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
You think about dead stars.
You think about time.
"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand squeezes yours tight, his urgent tone pulling you out of your thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"
You look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, faint shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.
You reach out, pulling him down into you. He falters for a moment at the sudden proximity, but quickly embraces you in turn. Burying your face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear your words, muffled against the thick flannel, but his hearing catches them just fine.
"Don't burn out too quickly. Please. I still need you here. I don't—I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."
The words feel like a weight being lifted from your shoulders, but with it comes a flood of emotion they’d been holding back. You cry harder into him, and as much as it pains Sam to witness, he lets you feel it, for as long as you need.
Your fear of losing him manifests itself physically, nails curling and sharpening again. When he feels them prick his skin through the fabric of his shirt, he calls your name but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he leans further down into you, letting his weight ground you. “Darlin’, I am right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
As you eventually cry yourself out, enough wherewithal returns to you to realize that you should probably release the poor man from your grasp, and the awkward position you pulled him into. When he pulls away enough to see your face, you notice a string of snot running from your nose to his shirt collar. Quickly batting it away out of embarrassment, you cringe, voice thick as you apologize. “Eugh, gross. Uh… sorry. About that.”
He shakes his head, laughing good-naturedly as you wipe at your nose with your jacket sleeve. “It’s completely fine, honey. After all, I’ve been covered in plenty of your, uh… various fluids before. When you come from my line of work, this is child’s play.”
He leans to his right, reaching back and pulling—of all things—a handkerchief from his jeans’ left back pocket. You laugh at his words, and at the sight, but with how congested you are it turns into more of a hacking cough than anything. Accepting his offering, you blow your nose into the black patterned fabric.
As soon as you can speak somewhat clearly, you can’t stop the teasing remark that slips out of you, gesturing with the wad of fabric in your hand. “You know, you really aren’t beating the cowboy allegations with stuff like this.”
He rolls his eyes but his soft smile remains. “It’s a practical thing to have on me, ‘allegations’ be damned.”
You shake your head with a smile of your own, but don’t disagree. As you’re visibly unsure what to do with the dirtied fabric, he takes it from you, setting it aside. “I’ll toss it in the wash when we go back inside. Along with my shirt, and…” He eyes you for a moment. “…that jacket of yours too, given how long you’ve probably been wearin’ it.”
Normally you’d argue that it hasn’t been that long, but come to think of it, you actually can’t recall when you last washed the thing.
Reaching up and rubbing your temples, you already regret your crying fit as a headache begins to set in. “Fuck, Sam... I’m sorry for… whatever that just was. I don’t know what came over me.”
His expression falls into something serious again. “You never need to apologize for feeling. And it certainly seems like… you needed to feel that.”
You nod quietly, but don’t elaborate, prompting him to question you gently. “Darlin’. What was that about? The—the askin’ me not to leave. Are you… afraid that I’m gonna leave you?”
You close your eyes, weighing out your response. “…Not in the sense that you’ll break up with me or something, no.”
His gaze narrows and his head tilts as he rolls your answer over in his mind. “If it ain’t that, then—” He remembers how you mentioned ‘forever’ and cuts himself off as the puzzle pieces start coming together. “Oh. …Oh, Darlin’, no.”
You open your eyes to watch as he shifts from leaning next to you, moving to sit up beside you. “Is this about what I told you, when we sat up here and had our uh… turning discussion?”
You hate to admit it, but you nod in confirmation. “…It’s your choice, Sam, and I never want to take that away from you. I shouldn’t have said what I just did, I—I don’t want to make you feel guilty, or like you have to stick around for my sake. But I’d be lying to you if I said it hasn’t been playing on my mind. The thought of you… leaving. Like that.”
He reaches up, running a hand through his hair. “I… think I maybe should’ve been a bit more clear, when I said that. Because I wasn’t talking about any time soon. I didn’t want to give you the false impression that I plan on sticking around for centuries, but… I also wasn’t trying to imply that I’ve got plans to do it next week either.”
You bolt upright, voice cracking. “Next week?! I sure as shit hope not!” You grab your head, pain flaring and suddenly dizzy from the quick shift in position.
He places a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “I’m not, honey, I’m not. Did you catch the rest of my sentence? I’ve got no plans to leave this world any time soon. I promise.”
You groan, head pounding. “I heard you, I did, I just—fuck, I don’t even wanna think about you leaving so soon. Here I am, stressing, thinking I’ve only got—I don’t know—some odd years left with you, and…” You sigh, trailing off.
Sam stays quiet for a minute, letting the crickets sing.
Eventually, he interrupts their chorus. “…Can I get closer to you?”
You nod. “…Please.”
He closes the gap between you, carefully wrapping a strong arm around your curled shoulders. “You’ve got way more than a couple years. I promise you that.” Your tension begins to ease a bit as he clarifies. “You… you’ve helped me find a life that I actually feel like livin’ again, for the first time in a long time. And I want to experience it with you for as long as I can.”
“…Really?” Your voice sounds so small, so unsure, so… unlike you when you question him that he wants to kick himself in his own ass for the role he unintentionally played in making you feel this way.
“Yes. Really. I mean—” His voice takes on an edge of humor. “If you decide to set your sights on the year 3,000…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. But as far as the 21st century is concerned? …I think I’d like to see it through. For as long as you’re there to see it with me.”
His words cause fresh tears to well up in your eyes, and you sniff in an attempt to hold them back. The sound catches his attention, and he leans forward, thumbing across your warm cheek. “…I’m makin’ you cry again…”
You shake your head, clearing your throat. “No—No, it’s okay. It’s good. They’re… they’re good. It’s… relief.”
He breathes out a relieved sigh of his own. “Yeah?”
You nod, leaning into him. “Yeah.”
As you rest against each other, breathing in the cool night air, you nudge him with your shoulder. “Can we… lay back? For a bit?”
He squeezes your arm in gentle confirmation. “Of course.”
He twists and reaches back to straighten the wrinkled blanket beneath you, before laying out across it himself. The radio crackles as he turns the volume back up a bit. Watching him with tired eyes, you smile at the sight of him patting his chest in habitual invitation.
“Sit in and watch the sunlight fade. Honey, enjoy, it’s gettin’ late. There’s no plan. There’s no hand on the reign. As Mack explained, there will be darkness again.”
Curling up against his side and laying your head on his chest, you release a heavy sigh when his hand comes up to rest on your shoulder. As his fingers press rhythmically into the tense muscle beneath them, you breathe in his scent. Black coffee and wildflower honey… he smells like home.
“Your secret is safe with me, and if secrets were like seeds, when I’m lyin’ under marble, marvel at flowers you’ll have made.”
You reach your hand out across his broad chest, slipping beneath his open flannel and sliding down to rest on his waist. He sighs, relaxing further beneath your touch.
“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand. That’s how I know now that you understand.”
Yeah, you’ll take this over ‘luxury’ any damn day.
“There’s no plan. There’s no race to be run.”
Laying there with him, listening to the low hum of the radio, the moment grows so comfortable that you almost hesitate to break it.
“The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the song.”
“…Sam?” You whisper into the night.
His hand sweeps across your back before returning to your shoulder. “I’m here, Darlin’.”
“There’s no plan. There’s no kingdom to come.”
You smile. “I… I’d like to be there, to be here, to see it through with you, too.”
It takes him a moment to recall exactly what you’re referring to, but when it hits him he hums a low understanding tone, clearly pleased. “Then let’s see where it takes us, yeah?”
“But I’ll be your man if you got love to get done.”
He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “We’ve got plenty a’ time.”
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my extensive notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. My Sam & Darlin' Playlist My Sam Playlist My Darlin' Playlist My Sam & Darlin' Moodboard My Sam Moodboard My Darlin' Moodboard Header Image Credit: Gage Smith on Unsplash
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted fanfic#redacted fandom#sam collins#samuel collins#redacted tank#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#one of my last Redacted posts didn't make it into the tags. which wasn't a big deal since it wasn't something important#but i spent some real time and effort on this fic so if tumblr yeets This post into the void i Will cry. and then painstakingly repost it#i've got big feelings about Sam and y'all r gonna see it whether u like it or not /lh#anyways hey this fic was unexpected. and much like Midnight Hour the production time was relatively fast thanks to the power of Fixation#i was gonna post the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding and then work on a Boothill oneshot and then maybe the [N]MbD New Year's fic#but i've been feeling Some Kinda Way lately and i guess i needed to project it onto Sam. so this fic took precedence#i humbly offer my first contribution to the Redacted fandom. pls don't attack me if they're OOC /hj#i'm out here doing my best to walk the line between canon compliance and self-indulgence#also i know that bright thing in the header image i used can't be Sirius. it's gotta be like. a planet i think? not sure which one tho#i've never even seen a planet that bright but my sky isn't all that dark so maybe they Can look that bright in some places#idk. the image description on Unsplash doesn't say. but 'planet' is in the tags so that's my guess#the only thing i've seen be that bright in the night sky 'round here is military flares. but maybe it's to do with how the photo was taken#a n y w a y s point is. the star Darlin' sees isn't That bright but the photo was too fitting not to use
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by the way
#maybe I'll delete this later I think I'm just in this awful strange mood#I unno I think I've been facing a lot of anxiety that people are seeing the art I'm making and like...#thinking the awful woobified guys I usually draw. becuase I like drawing guys hugging. is my a ctual genuine interpretation.#its not. sorrrrry#sorry if you've seen my awful charactercatures of them and than thought I didn't get them.... sorry I'm spreading mischaracterization...#my fault really. I shoudl just stop drfawing characters acting in ways I think they wouldnt' act. ooc. but its fun. maybe I'll just start#tagging that type of thing “ooc” so everyone knows its not canon to me. erugh. whagever#not tagging mind he is just an example here. I guess#jbird's art
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apologies for my extended hiatus, i never expected it to be so long and perhaps i should explain why its been longer than expected 🥹
in late august i underwent a pretty intense reconstructive knee surgery due to a knee injury that resulted in a dislocated kneecap for 80% of my life- and sadly the surgery did not go as originally planned. i was in a full leg cast for two weeks after that, then two months later in late october, i went in for minor corrective surgery, and that also didn’t go as planned, and was again bed ridden for a while after that. fast forward to now and luckily i am walking again with only a minor limp in my step- but because of the fact that my recovery has just … not been linear, ive struggled to come back permanently because i still spend most of my day doing therapy which can be hard both mentally and physically. so trying to focus on other things can be difficult as a result, but i plan to come back soon enough now that i have also managed to replaced my old laptop charger and can focus on other things besides my therapy! thank god because i have missed my boys …
#█ ▌ 𝙜���𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩. / ooc.#( what do i even tag this as man … i guess this is kind of a life update bc i never do those 🥹 )#( but luckily the hardest part is over because lord i will not lie i was very ill prepared despite my efforts 😵💫 )#( like originally i was not suppose to be in a leg cast at all so that really just threw everything for a loop 😔 )#( however i got a purple n sparkly leg cast which was pretty cool !! i didn’t know they could put sparkles on casts like that!! )#( luckily it’s OVER and now i just have to continue to do my simple exercises for a year or so!! )#( my lord i couldn’t be more grateful 🥹 and im certainly glad that shit is OVER !!!!! )
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ever since tiktok recommended me a youtube video that discussed the artbook for veilguard and what could've been (potentially), i've been going actually yeah, where are the agents of fen'harel in the veilguard? why is he all alone and there's no one causing problems on his behalf when there canonically have been his agents mentioned since tresspasser?
#OOC.#that video had some good points and some bad takes but also like#ok so felassan is dead (i pretend i do not see it)#but there's also all this stuff from the books / comics?#i was thinking it through at every angle and just.................#another reason why datv felt a bit shallow to me i guess#da4 spoilers#veilguard spoilers#WHERE ARE YOU GUYS#it makes me want-- no i shan't say it. makes me wanna.... make a new oc.#me @ me: chill.#it's just in my opinion there are plenty of elves that would see the merit of the cause. that are FED UP with their lot in life#but then again seeing as they washed away a lot of gritty elements of the world like idk? like the crows or lords of fortune...#or tevinter's slavery. that's why they ignored fenris exists i guess.#welp.#sorry sorry#datv critical#a little bit tagging it just in case#no but if anyone has any insight on it or if i missed smth let me know but uhh yeah.
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hiii I was wondering, is it just me or does it feel like Yesod would spontaneously combust the nanosecond his little walnut brain realizes "hey they might not be visiting me just to bother me about paper" ? in reference to your funny Blue Cheese/Netzach/Yesod post
also how often do you think Chesed is haunted by Chuck-E-Cheese ?
genuinely cant think of anything funny to say in reaponse all outa ideas it got drained out of me into the lobcorp machine to get on the stupidest of grinds for this . feels like it would go all quiet up in there before going back into existence to fully process the fact . exaggerated for a sad attempt at humor
on regards to chuck e cheese not quite exactly the idea presented but i havent slept in awhile so i hope this slight tangent regarding the idea will suffice. i think it haunts him like an ever present oil stain thats just faded but when youre having a nice day pops up to remind you of its existence. not quite sure how it haunts as its not necessary good nor bad but it sure does never leave. if we are talking literal apparition haunting deal. maybe like on weekends
does the city have a chuck e cheese. did chesed ever experince the very grungy experience of a chuck-e-cheese. is there some sort of abnormality that took on its form akin to how fragment of the universe tried to change its appearance in order to communicate its intent though crayon scribbles and hearts but for the mascot of chunky cheese to communicate the . pain of entertainment joints or smthn. ill never know . hopefully ill stay ignorant to such matters
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#this is so stupid im so sorry. even by my standards i regret having caffeine at 9 why did i think it would be funny#there is no activity inside my brain. absolutely nothing. its almost liberating if not a little weird.#will i see this after taking a nap and go 'yeah i totally posted that at 3am that sure is a 3am post'#probably. will i do anything abt it? yeah go back to sleep maybe until i need to rush out the front door#.... .. . do i even want to tag acrually. yeah sure#yesod lobcorp#chesed lobcorp#netzach lobcorp#i GUESS. im ntot going to get into an argument w myself ill decide later if it counts or not#i keep am worried abt ooc but then i realized its. afuckin g thing about paper and chuckecheese. i dont care anymore#and then o felt the warm embrace of liberty. maybe im losing it a bit i should just post this and get over the ever present shame
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