Tumgik
#//not sure why you'd even want to but you know
jayswhorex · 2 days
Text
missing you
kenji sato x fem!reader
warnings: shower sex, multiple positions, angst & smut
you had an irresistible grip on kenji sato. there was something about the way he always came back to you. sure there had been other girls at some point but he always knew you were the best. and not just when it came to sec but also when it came to everything else. nobody knew kenji sato better than you and maybe he was a tiny bit scared of that. yes, he had a hard time committing to you but he knew if he had to settle down, he couldn't imagine it being with anyone else. so when you showed up at his place and needed a place to stay for a couple of months how could he say no to you?
your schedules had always conflicted so when the two of you rarely saw each other it wasn't such a big surprise to kenji. and times you did see each other were awkward, kenji had been tired of putting up a facade & you knew he just needed his private time. even though during those times all he wanted was to talk to you.
but this morning things had been different, you had decided that you'd take a shower much later than planned to avoid kenji. he snuck out last night to do well…you knew what and had yet to come back. you found yourself just standing under the showerhead, letting water spill all over your skin. you were stuck in your head, trying to grasp why out of nowhere you asked to stay here with kenji. yes, he cared for you but you could never believe that there was a chance in hell he loved you.
you were so distracted by your own thoughts that you hadn't even heard kenji walk in, "mind if i join angel?" his hypnotic voice snaps you from your thoughts. you open your mouth to answer but quickly close it. you open it again and answer with a soft, "mhm".
the cold breeze when kenji opens the shower curtain causes you to shudder, wrapping your arms around your body. "relax" he says gently placing his hands on your waist from behind. his touch was soft and warm, a feeling you used to be used to until you had decided to avoid kenji. you were still trying to make sense of why you were doing this. why are you so scared of letting kenji see those other parts of you?
his mouth pampered your neck with kisses from behind, his hands making their way up to your chest. a delicate whimper escaped your lips, causing you to relax into kenji's touch. kenji squeezed your breasts before giving his attention to your nipples that had softened under the water. he groped on tit while he teased the nipple of the other. "
ken…" you managed to call out, feeling his cock twitch against your ass. the pulsating of his veiny cock against your aunt could only make you more aroused than you had been before. he knew what it meant when you called his name like that and he saw no reason to deprive you of what you craved for. his breaths were deep and heavy, almost as if he had been waiting for this moment. waiting to be able to touch you again even if this was the last life. he keenly guided his cock your drenched cunt, craving to fill you up almost like a dog in heat. a string of sloppy curses falls from your mouth as he slipped his cock in with such ease. there was a brief silence that kenji broke with no hesitation for you, "i missed this baby…i missed us"
kenji gently moved his hips, testing the waters. "kenji you don't have to say that-" a hushed groan accidentally left your mouth, your knees nearly buckling. "just to get in my pants" kenji let a chuckle, you could sense a bit of cockiness hidden beneath that little laugh of his. and god you missed it. "sweetheart i don't know if you can tell but we're way past me getting in your pants," he says a bit frustrated because he wasn't joking.
he was serious about missing you, not the sex nor the fling, he just missing you. he missed your little smiles and the way you'd let him talk to you, he missed you. his thrusts were deep yet rough, and you heard the loud splashes of water getting caught between your bodies. "i know ken but…" kenji's hands found their way to your waist once again, bringing your lower half closer to his. with how wet the walls were and how hard ken was pounding you & your lack of focus you could barely get your sentences out. "…i don't want you to say something you don't mean"
"but i do mean it angel" and that's when it hit him, kenji had to show you. he had to make you understand that needed you and he couldn't do this back and forth anymore. he knew now he was sick of it. you whined when you felt his thrusts slowing, he swiftly pulled out of you and turned your body so that you were facing him. "ken-"you were slightly confused but when he picked you up and gently slid himself into you, you got the memo. "just listen angel please" kenji held you bu the thighs while you had your arms wrapped around his neck, a mixture of moans and groans spilling out of your mouth with each thrust kenji gave you.
"i miss you when you've left early for work in the mornings," he said followed by a hollow grunt that threatened to escape his mouth. your insides clenched around him, encouraging him to be a little less gentle with you. kenji nearly slammed you up against the wall, earning some very noisy moans from you while toenails dug into his back. he knew they would definitely affect his performance at his next game but that was very far from his mind. the only thing he was focusing on right now was you because he had so much more to say and he needed you to listen.
"i miss you when you work late"
"i miss you when you can't come to my games"
"i miss being around you baby"
"i fucking miss hearing your voice" kenji was so stuck in his own head, chasing this high with you while also mumbling out how much he missed you, and need you and wanted you. his words had to mean something to you because, in the end, he was the one you came to when you needed a place to stay. though still dazed, kenji finds himself gripped on the flesh of your thigh firmly as he really himself inside of you. your legs wrapped around his lower waist bringing his body even closer to yours. his grip on your thighs loosened a bit and he leaned his forehead against yours, trying to calm himself down. he feared the silence that had fallen between the two of you but at least he had told you how he was feeling even if that meant nothing to you.
but you could only smile at him and say, "i missed you too ken"
806 notes · View notes
satorubi · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
꒰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦 ꒱ a night of ferris wheels, face paint, and fried oreos quickly becomes sour when a 'cheer me up' date with eren leads to you doing the walk of shame back to your apartment.
꒰ 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫 ꒱ eren x yn, blk fem reader 14.6K words ╰┈➤ yn uses she / her pronouns, eren’s so lovesick m' sad, connie is a prick lmao, toxicity warning, pussy play, slight handjob, female & male orgasm, doggystyle, breeding lol, yn cries but s’ from pleasure, slight conflict - arguing, eren gets his heart broken i fear :/, yn is delusional 4 con ngl, pet names used such as bby, sweet girl, mama, pretty girl, angel, etc.
꒰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 ! ꒱ i almost abandoned this fic but i got my spunk back n' now i feel dramatic lol, anyway . . this one will be menacing. i feel like the smut is all over the place but ugh, we'll see. also i wrote connie with a man i used to know in mind so forgive me if he’s an absolute asshole. thas all 4 now. lol, bye. enjoy n’ don’t forget to read my content warnings above before continuing please n thank u :3 — icymi < prt 1 & prt 2
Tumblr media
the sound of crème-colored nikes hastily screeching down the hallway punctuated connie's furious trek to eren's condo. his face was a mask of annoyance and barely restrained rage. 'of course you'd run here', he utters bitterly under his breath. where else would you go after that tantrum you threw this morning. wasn’t that what the argument was about? how much better eren was than him? how much of a bad, horrible potential boyfriend he was?
connie scoffed, shaking his head as his mind conjured up his worst nightmare scenario : eren, with his arms wrapped around you, nuzzling against your neck, poisoning your mind with whispers about what a loser your boyfriend was and how you should ditch him.
but even as jealousy clawed at his throat, he still couldn't muster up an ounce of guilt for his own contradictory. yeah, maybe he'd possibly been seeking comfort in someone else's arms too - late nights at work that had absolutely nothing to do with getting some overtime in like he’d told you, devious texts he’d made sure to delete before coming to visit you . . . that was his business. he had needs, and if you couldn't satisfy them, well, that was on you.
he wasn’t necessarily mad at you. he was the one to say that were was nothin' wrong with 'getting to know' multiple people at once. he knew what he was getting into when he hit you up for the first time. what really twisted the knife in his back was the fact that out of all the people you could've run to, you chose fuckin’ eren. his friend and his rival all in one, the only person who'd always wanted what was his. it felt like the ultimate betrayal, and honestly, a mockery of everything they'd built together.
maybe that's why his texts were still yet to be read.
well, connie wasn't about to just roll over and let it happen. hell no, that’d kill his ego faster than mushrooms could. he'd come here to drag you away from this colossal mistake and remind you of where you should be, where you belong . .
with him.
by his side. not eren's. never eren's.
so, upon approaching suite 28A, connie removes his chain, wrapping it around the brass of his knuckles. y'know . . just in case. he knew the kind of energy he was coming with, and now the only thing left to do was knock on the door and see what eren was on.
in fact, connie’s idea of a polite knock was driving the front of his timberland boot forcefully against the pristine wooden door, again and again, the crashes echoing loudly down the hallway. he’d probably get eren slapped with a noise complaint or two, but to hell with the neighbors - that was child's play compared to the real matter at hand.
a deafening silence ensued, thick with emotion as connie waited with bottled nerves for any movement from within the apartment. the stillness painfully stretched for a few seconds until faint sounds of quiet shuffling could be heard from the other side. at the subtle signs of eren’s presence just feet away, a rush of adrenaline flooded through connie’s veins, pure fury rising within him like molten lava.
at long last, the door swung open, revealing the man connie had been waiting to converse with for what felt like hours - eren. posed calmly in the doorway, he stood motionless as he effortlessly towered over connie with narrowed eyes glinting ominously in the dim light.
“s' a lil' late for boy's night, no?” eren’s lean frame casually blocked the entrance, one arm propped against the doorframe in a territorial display.
“yo’ phone broken?” connie started, clenching his jaw. “didn’t see my text?”
eren sighed. “i did. i jus’ . . . don't think she wants to be bothered with anymore antics from you tonight.”
connie laughed and shook his head at eren’s immaturity. “look, i’m not doin' the bullshit, bro. just tell her to get her stuff and come on so we can head home and sort our shit out.”
if heading home meant going back to your place so he could kiss your ass and tell you how sorry he was like always, eren was most definitely not having that.
“she good where she at.”
“tuh . . and where's that?”
a small smile tugged at the corner of eren’s mouth as his thoughts meandered to waking up tangled in silk sheets next to your slumbering form just minutes before. your leg casually draped across his lap in easy intimacy, foot grazing his thigh as you shifted.
“doesn’t matter. like i said, she good. don’t worry about it.”
connie showed no intention of backing down, hands clenching into tense fists as he shoved them into his pockets, itching to strike out as his annoyance begged for an outlet.
"you’re actually fuckin' pathetic, eren," he spat out. "real shit. you’ve been plotting for months, years even. waitin' for me to leave her lonely. you must be real delusional if you think my one fuck up is gonna get you some pussy."
oh, the irony.
a muscle in eren’s cheek feinted as he worked his jaw. "watch y'mouth, connie. m' not on that tonight."
connie barked out a cutting laugh. “or what? the fuck are you gonna do, beat me up?”
just on time, connie’s poisonous rant cut off abruptly as both men's heads swiveled in unison toward your soft, familiar voice calling out from the living room.
"rennie? is that you? s' late - who's screamin' like that?" you emerged groggily, rubbing sleep from your eyes. connie’s rage momentarily subsided at the sight of your bare face and the pink headscarf he'd bought you wrapped neatly around your head, a reflexive smile touching his lips.
but then his gaze trailed downward, fully taking in your . . lack of clothing. all you had on was an oversized vintage band tee that hung off the shoulder, the worn fabric barely grazing your thighs. with every step, the shirt rode up further, putting the curve of your ass cheeks on display beneath the cotton.
and eren wasted no time raking his gaze over your figure, eyes darkening before flicking a taunting look at connie.
you stared blearily at the young man framed in the doorway, features scrunched in confusion. “umm, am i still dreamin' or is that connie?"
at the familiarity of his nickname on your lips, connie couldn't help but chuckle. “yeah, s'me babe.” the endearment rolled naturally off his tongue before the gravity of the situation crashed back down. his eyes trailed your body again, throat tightening. “but uh, whatchu doin' over here? went by your place and you weren't there. called, texted, got nothin'.”
you let out a small sigh, turning slightly into eren’s sturdy frame as you felt his reassuring heat envelop you.
“connie, don't be coy,” you said, hoping to quell the confrontation. “there’s no reason to go there with me right now.” no seriously . . you’ve cried enough tonight.
“in that case, maybe we should get you home. get you into somethin' y’know . . . a lil’ warmer. make you feel good for all the trouble i-”
you peered between the two men, brow furrowing as you clung to your last reserves of patience. “i’m okay stayin' here for the night, actually.”
connie just laughed, though there was a brittle edge to it as his gaze raked dismissively over eren’s imposing silence. "c’mon baby, don't be like that. really lettin' him get in your head, huh? he’s jealous, pretty. it’s written all over his face. s' damn shame, too."
eren’s eyes flashed dangerously. "did i not tell you to shut the fuck up?" he bit out, shoulders tensing as he took a threatening step into connie’s space. before things could escalate further, you quickly lifted a halting hand to eren’s chest, feeling the coiled tension in his frame.
"ok, ok, that's enough," you delivered firmly. to connie, you repeated more insistently, “i think you need to leave, 'kay? we're not doin' this shit right now. i have an exam in the mornin' n' this is the last thing i needed from you after today."
connie’s mouth tightened, spots of embarrassed color blooming on his tanned cheeks. the blatant rejection stung, resentment twisting his expression.
"yeah . . you definitely been hangin' around him too much,” he shook his head, tonguing the inside of his cheek as he gave you one final look of annoyance. "call me when you done here. when you ready to stop fuckin' on my friends and you figure out that you miss me."
your heart nearly stopped, his accusatory words making you flinch.
for one, because it was harsh, and for two, because it was fucking true.
and it'd only been a few hours.
"w-what? we didn't -"
he only laughed dryly. "yeah . . okay, yn."
it felt horrible to lie. you knew connie must've felt betrayed seeing you here after the messy way things were handled earlier. it was a terrible look. but hearing it said aloud, in that tone . . . it felt so surreal.
you couldn't describe the whooshing in your stomach, not knowing if you'd been caught or insulted, possibly both. but you couldn't confront it now. connie was already angry, the wounds too raw to meet head-on. you’d only dig yourself a deeper hole.
as if sensing your distress, eren moved closer, bracketing your body protectively before you could say another word. his burning gaze stayed locked on connie, voice dropping an octave. “leave. she told you once and i don't wanna' hear her tell you twice.”
curse him a thousand times over. how could someone still manage to be that sexy while pissed off?
the implicit threat shimmered in the charged air, connie’s hands moving in his pockets, shoulders bunching. but faced with eren’s intensity shielding you, he had no choice but to swallow his bitterness and take it out of the lobby with him.
for now at least. this was far from over.
connie scoffed, taking a breath before calmly letting out a “remember this shit, eren,” and starting the long journey back home. you released a slow exhale as he finally turned on his heel, shoulders slumped in a defeat he hoped he'd masked. he didn't leave without one last burning look your way first - eyes awash with shame and reproach, "cause i know i will."
you forced yourself not to flinch from that stare. it’s not as if you hated connie - not even close. when he wasn't wrapped up in toxic masculinity or his own insecurities, he could actually be sweet and attentive. you’d even shared plenty of good memories over the years prior to evolving romantically.
either way, you were leaving for your trip with him out of the city in just two weeks. which was exactly the amount of time you'd be giving him to get his shit together.
two. fucking. weeks.
with connie disappearing around the corner, you let yourself relax back into the embrace of eren’s home.
the tension from the confrontation still thrummed through him as you tugged him back inside, shoulders bunched and jaw clenched. he looked almost comically fierce, like an aggravated guard dog not quite ready to stand down.
you couldn't help an affectionate giggle at the sight. “eren, he's gone now. you can stop foaming at the mouth.” your teasing voice seemed to penetrate his agitated haze. slowly the fire in his eyes dimmed to a gentle smile as he turned his attention fully back to you.
his gaze trailed your figure almost vulnerably before he stepped closer, long fingers coming up to pinch your cheek with tenderness.
“you good?” he murmured, breath fanning your face. that simple touch made your heart stutter as you fought to appear unfazed.
“yeah . . . i’m fine,” you managed to whisper, cursing internally as your voice wavered. inside your mind churned with a storm of emotion at being this close to him after all this time - nerves and excitement and longing threatening to spill out if you let your guard down.
you cleared your throat. “and um . . thanks for having my back out there. that was a bit . . . too much.”
eren just shrugged, full lips curving crookedly. “m' jus' your bodyguard, remember?”
a fond smile tugged at eren’s mouth as he noted your drowsy, slightly unsteady posture. no doubt you were feeling the pleasurable aftereffects of the thoroughly enjoyable night you spent tangled in passion.
his gaze swept over you with tender concern. “how’re you feelin' for real though? anything hurt right now? saw you limpin’ after we finished up earlier.”
you gave a small shrug, warmth filling your cheeks. “i’m a little sore i guess. my legs kinda feel like jello, and i gotta wake up early tomorrow.”
eren nodded knowingly, trying and failing to contain his self-satisfied grin. clearly, he had thoroughly exhausted you in the best possible way. but still, that protective streak flared up at seeing you so worn out. he moved closer, hand coming to rest gently on your hip. “aww stink, was i too rough with you?” his voice held a mixture of genuine worry and humor beneath the teasing lilt. the last thing he wanted was to truly hurt you in the heat of passion.
but you were quick to shake your head, assuring him, “you’re so annoying . . m’ fine, just grumpy . . n’ sleep deprived.” another yawn cracked your jaw just then as if to emphasize the point.
eren’s attentiveness made warmth bloom in your chest as he swiftly retrieved some tylenol and poured you a chilled mug of juice. he settled beside you, broad palm coming to rest comfortingly on your thigh as those soulful green eyes searched your face.
“yo, i uh . . know this is random but...is there any truth to what connie said? about me bein' too protective? too overbearing?”
you could hear the genuine worry edging eren's question and quickly shook your head. “no, no not at all,” you assured firmly. you knew connie was likely just grasping at straws, trying to get under eren’s skin any way he could in the heat of the moment. but you wouldn't let seeds of self-doubt take root.
covering his hand gently with your own, you met his gaze. “i’d do the same for you. i think s' normal to protect someone you love. especially when connie thinks he gets to jus' barge in here and confront us like a crybaby.” you gave eren’s fingers a grateful squeeze. “don’t pay him any mind, he just doesn't understand our friendship. you handled it really well, eren. i’m proud of you, seriously.”
“thank you.”
a flicker of some indiscernible emotion passed through eren’s eyes at the word 'friend'. even after the passion and raw vulnerability you both exposed tonight, it seemed that term didn't quite encompass all that lay unspoken between you now.
you felt an answering warmth bloom across your own cheeks as the weighty silence expanded, full of possibility and unasked questions. there was an intimacy here that transcended friendship, and you both knew it even if the right labels hovered just out of grasp.
“oh . . and eren?”
“hm?”
ducking your head, you spoke softly, almost like a secret. “you think he'll ever change? honestly?” your words tapered off, but the question hung between you, filling the hushed kitchen with promise.
“for you, i sure hope so.” eren mumbled, slowly giving you time to pull away. he reached to softly squeeze the back of your neck, calloused fingers trailing feather-light strokes down the slender column of your skin. when you leaned into the tender caress, he tilted your chin up, sea-glass eyes searching yours with quiet but firm intensity.
“regardless . . i’ll be here,” he murmured, voice a low rumble. “even if he doesn't want me to be. i always have and i always will.”
Tumblr media
“so hold on, you're tellin' me that connie and eren almost fought . . . over you?” your roommate sasha chuckled as she nearly sputtered out her sip of mango boba across the usual sunny corner nook's marble table.
you answered sasha's question with a nod. you'd been laughing at her reactions to breaking the news about what happened back at eren's place since you'd left psych 405 together earlier this morning.
though, for the sake of protecting your peace, you decided to leave out the friends-with-benefits situation. not out of mistrust, but . . . it just wasn't the right time for this to be out in the open yet, or ever at all for that matter.
it had been exactly four days since the connie incident, and in other words, a nonstop four days of him making efforts to reach out. whether it was through subliminal tweets and songs on his story, edible arrangements sent to your door, or sasha having to tell you how many times he asked her to put in a good word, the man just wouldn't let up.
you couldn't lie, the effort was sweet and all, given that's exactly what your relationship had been lacking these past few months. but spending these last few days within eren's vicinity had only seemed to extend this small break from connie in the most pleasant way possible.
late night bubble baths, smoke sessions on the balcony while looking over the noisy city, and two adorably bad attempts at making you breakfast in bed later, you found yourself gushing over eren at random hours of the day. kind of like right now.
“sounds like you and eren have been gettin’ closer, hm?”
“yeah . .” you smiled at the thought of him, tracing the fresh love lines on your palm, the ghost of eren’s lips still lingering there as your mind replayed a bouquet of affection from him on a loop. “connie referred to him as my new bodyguard, says he's too much. but i dunno’, thought it was pretty sweet of him gettin' all protective over me . .”
“are you smilin’ about who i think you're smilin’ about?”
you started to roll your eyes when sasha skipped over to sit beside you in the booth, her fingers pinching your shoulder playfully. “i knew it! i knew you were leaving shit out. i mean, i’ve known this since we were kids. it was always so obvious! oh my god, tell me every detail. when did all this start bubbling up? and why didn't you tell me, you sneaky little slut?”
just before you could become overwhelmed with her questions, you thought back to simpler times. it’s true, she'd always hoped you two had heart eyes for each other. you could blatantly reminisce about the pure excitement on her face when you told her about smooching eren on the cheek after his big game sophomore year. it wasn't anything major at the time, at least to you, especially knowing what a ladies man he was. fuck, he'd probably gotten hundreds of kisses that day. but sasha couldn't sit still. she even went as far as envisioning you both growing old together on a farm with nothing but bunnies, cows, pigs, and one another.
you could only imagine what she'd say if she found out he was practically your sex coach.
“no no, don't start this again, sasha. besides, i’m talking to connie, and even if i did have a small, tiny liking for eren, hypothetically speaking, we've been friends for too long. i don't think he'd be into me in that sort of wa –”
“bitch, fuck connie! be for real. that man has loved you since before even knowing what the definition of it was. why else do you think they stopped getting along after connie asked you out?”
she had a point. anything you wanted, eren was there. anytime you needed him, eren was there. rain or snow, any place, eren was fucking there. it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that he might've been somewhat attracted to you. but it also didn't take a lot to know that boys were stupid. they’re always sweet to girls they find appealing, so this was probably just a simple case of being friends with, well, a guy.
“i jus’ - i dunno’, okay? i mean, yeah he's sweet and he makes me . . really happy, but, eren isn't really the settling down type. plus, like i said, we've been through too much and you've seen how these things go in the movies. if it was meant to be it would've happened already.”
sasha pursed her lips. “ ‘not the settling down type’ ? he dated mikasa for 6 years, yn, and that alone is human torture in itself. trust me, he could settle down little ol' you if he really wanted to, which in this case, i believe he does.”
she turned to face you fully, but you stopped her before she could say anything more. “sasha, s’ never gonna’ happen. plus, me and connie are meeting up to talk this out later anyway so . .”
sasha only sipped her drink, eyes moving side to side as she sent you a look you knew way too well. “oh my god, what now? why’re you lookin' at me like that? like i’m lying through my teeth?”
she suddenly let out a loud “hah!” drawing judgmental eyes and distinctive chatter from all around. “you just blew your own cover, missy. inever said you were lying, but now i know you are.”
“jesus, i just don't understand why you actually think eren would ever -” before you could finish your sentence, the familiar rhythm of your buzzing phone shut you right up. you peered down, mindlessly thinking it was probably connie who'd finally found a way around being blocked.
but it wasn't. In fact, sasha put it into words faster than you could. “you better fuckin' answer, bitch,” she said, pointing at you with direction as if scolding a child. because speak of the devil - eren was calling.
“i-i can talk to him later. s'probably jus' him checking up on me . .” the quiet stutter in your voice caught you off guard. how did this man have the power to make you trip over your words without even being in front of you? without even speaking to you? you didn't know, but it was a question you both did and didn't want the answer to.
sasha grinned at you like the cheshire cat, eyes sparkling with mischief and poorly contained glee. “well, it should only take a few seconds then, yeah?”
you shot her a glare, but there was no real heat behind it. your french-tipped finger hovered over the accept button, a strange mix of nerves and excitement swirling in your gut. “guess so,” you muttered.
“put him on speaker!”
you took a deep breath and swiped to answer, bringing the phone between the two of you and turning the volume down to a reasonable level. “hi eren, what's up?”
“hi, yn.” his deep, honey-smooth voice filled your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. it was low and mellow, and you heard the distinct sound of chatter and metal clanking in the background - he must've been called in at the shop today. “i was jus' checkin' in, see how your day's going. know you had some school shit you had to do. feels like forever since i saw you last.”
you laughed softly, shaking your head even though he couldn't see you. “ren, it's been like four hours. we had breakfast together this morning, remember? i spilled coffee on your shirt.”
“ah, think i remember,” he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. “my shirt as in the one you stole. dunno’ how i could forget the sight. looked good on you.” your cheeks heated at the memory, at the way his eyes had darkened as they raked over your bare legs, the hem of his tee barely skimming your thighs.
by now, sasha was making exaggerated kissy faces at you, hands clasped beneath her chin in a pantomime of swooning. you flipped her off, turning slightly in your seat to hide your face.
“i miss you. been thinkin' bout’ you all day.”
you heart did that fluttering thing again, a warm glow spreading throughout your chest. “i . . i miss you too,” you admitted softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
there was a beat of charged silence, the weight of unspoken things hanging heavy in the air, yet in no way awkward at all. if anything, you'd almost completely forgotten there were other people in the room.
then eren cleared his throat, his voice dropping an octave. “so, i was wonderin' if you'd like to uh, come with me to this fair they're havin' down in trost tonight?”
a fair? in trost? that was about a three hour drive away, two if you could beat the evening rush of traffic. this was practically a road trip, an activity that felt so important given that's what you'd planned to do with connie in just a few days.
“i know i said this morning that i’d let you breathe, to collect your thoughts. but i wouldn't wanna eat churros and take corny photobooth pictures with anyone other than you.”
sasha quietly gasped, her mouth forming into an 'o' shape while you bit your lip, hesitating. you’ve been so down you’d almost forgotten about the good times - the times when your mom would take you both to the fair, where you and eren would be sick to your stomachs after stepping off the gravitron due to being way too excited to wait for your snacks to digest. there’s just been so much going on lately.
guilt twisted in your gut as you remembered your earlier words to sasha. ‘i’m meeting up with connie later to talk things out.' the words tasted bitter on your tongue now, the prospect of facing your so-called boyfriend after letting eren fuck you senseless now filling you with queasy dread.
because you would do it again. you hated admitting that, even just to yourself, but one thing you could say with confidence is that a man with hip movement like eren was a dangerous thing for a woman like you.
he waited for your response, hope and anticipation lacing his tone. and god, there was nothing you wanted more than to curl up beside him, to lose yourself on a rickety roller coaster and in the solid warmth of his body pressed against yours as you squealed at the predictable drops and turns.
“if you agree to get kitty face paint with me and ride the ferris wheel, then yes,” you said at last, resolving to deal with connie later.
“you got yourself a deal.”
“want me to grab some of those sour gummies you like for the road on my way over? there’s a store near campus.”
“yes please.” eren said, smile evident in his voice. “i think you're my favorite person.”
“yeah yeah, i better be.”
there was no time for eren to respond before he was cut off by the sound of jean's agitated voice. 'yo motherfucker, your break ended two minutes ago. you can giggle and kick your feet later. let’s go.'
both you and sasha tried your best to hush your laughs but it was nearly impossible. “hi jean,” you said in unison, already knowing he was probably rolling his eyes.
“hi ladies. miss y'all too, but cars don't fix themselves.”
“you’re an asshole,” eren grinned before returning his attention right back to you. “duty calls, ma'am. hit me when you're on your way over to mine, yeah?”
you nodded even though he couldn't see you. “stay safe in battle, i’ll see you soon.” an 'i love you' rose to the tip of your tongue, the words burning in your throat like aged whiskey. but you swallowed them back, the time not yet right, the feeling still too raw and fragile to voice.
you ended the call and slowly lowered the phone, staring at the screen until it went dark. when you finally looked up, sasha was grinning at you like she just won the lottery.
“okay so, hear me out . . . the wedding will be in august. i’m thinking cabo, or maybe paris if you're feeling extra romantic. oh - and vodka, lost and lost of vodka.”
you tossed a wadded up napkin at her, rolling your eyes. but you couldn't suppress the giddy smile stretching across your face, the excited butterflies taking flight in your stomach.
“he likes you and i don't wanna’ hear shit else! ‘three hour drive down and back just so i can cheer you up' my ass.”
you laughed and maybe, just maybe, she might've been onto something. and that thought simultaneously thrilled and terrified you, the implications and consequences of taking that leap swirling in your mind for the millionth time.
but then you remembered the way he'd looked at you this morning, eyes soft and full of something that stole the breath from your lungs. the way his thumb lingered on your bottom lip as he wiped whipped cream from it, his touch electric and reverent.
you recalled the safety of his arms, the rightness you felt waking up with your head pillowed on his chest. like coming home after a long, weary journey.
so yeah, maybe you could pretend you weren't terrified . . . at least just for a small while.
Tumblr media
the warm evening air enveloped you as you stepped out of your apartment building, the fading sunlight painting the sky in stunning hues of orange and pink. the pure excitement thrumming through your veins was palpable, a giddy anticipation for the night ahead, for the chance to create new memories in a place that held so much nostalgia.
eren waited by his car, leaning against the passenger side door with a smile that was equal parts affectionate and mischievous. he looked effortlessly handsome in his work attire - dark jeans and a long denim button up. he must've wasted no time coming here. after all, he didn't want to have you out too late, knowing you took your sleep seriously. it felt almost criminal, the way your eyes locked onto his pushed up sleeves revealing strong, tanned and tattooed forearms that starred in a few of your recent dreams.
you took a moment to appreciate the view, and surprise surprise, so did eren. why wouldn’t he when you looked this good? he didn’t even know what to focus on — perhaps maybe the oversized boyfriend jeans, slung low on your hips as your pink thong tantalizingly peeks from the waistband. or maybe the way your flawless makeup begged for a closer study, each artful stroke of the brush highlighting your beauty . . and oh, he couldn’t forget about the knitted hello kitty bralette that really added the touch to your whole do. he could die. the snug fabric was just barely supporting the soft swells of your titties — pretty and full, n’ so so suckable too.
you almost think he’s giving you the eye of judgement, but that thought subsides when you notice his tongue run across the skin of his lower lip, hungry for you. it’s not like you hadn't seen eren look at you like that a thousand times before, but something about tonight’s glance felt so different - almost like he wanted to do more than just look.
just then, eren pushed off the car as you approached, his smile widening into a full blown swoon fest. “there she is,” he called, holding out his arms for a hug. “was startin' to think you stood me up, girl.”
you rolled your eyes fondly, stepping into his embrace without hesitation. his arms wrapped around you, solid and warm, the scruff of his still-developing beard tickling your temple as he pulled you close - your bodies swaying from side to side, “as if,” you scoffed, your words muffled against his chest. “you know i’d never miss the chance to kick your ass at ring toss.”
eren’s laugh rumbled through you, the sound wrapping around your heart like a well-worn blanket. “ima’ make you eat those words, watch.”
you pulled back just enough to smirk up at him, one brow arched in challenge. “we’ll see who's eatin' what by the end of the night.”
something flashed in his eyes, dark and heated, gone so quickly you almost thought you imagined it. but then his hands were on your hips, guiding you gently towards the open passenger door.
“fuckin’ minx.” he chuckled. “get in before i change my mind about being seen in public with you.”
you swatted at his chest half heartedly but allowed him to usher you into the car, the plush leather seat enveloping you like an old friend. passenger princess looked good on you.
eren leaned in, his woodsy cologne filling your senses as he reached across your body to grab the seatbelt. his fingers brushed your collarbone as he pulled the strap down, the fleeting contact sending sparks skittering down to your core. you held your breath, hyper aware of his proximity, of the way his eyes seemed to linger on the curve of your neck and the swell of your bottom lip.
there moment stretched, expanded, the air between you growing thick with a tension that felt both familiar and altogether new. you teetered on the edge of something, on the cusp of a sweet precipice, and the anticipation was delicious and terrifying in equal measure.
just as you were about to throw caution to the wind and boldly close the gap between you, a voice cut through the charged silence.
“ahem . .” sasha cleared her throat pointedly, leaning down to poke her head through your open window. “are you two forgetting something?”
you startled, jerking back from eren like you'd been caught by your mother. he blinked, looking at you once more before turning to face sasha ith a rueful grin.
“sasha,” he greeted, his voice slightly rougher than usual. “to what do we owe the pleasure?”
sasha rolled her eyes, her expression caught between exasperation and amusement. “just thought i’d come see my two best friends off on their big date. y'know, make sure casanova here doesn't skimp on the romance.”
you groaned, burying your face in your hands to hide the embarrassment rising to your cheeks. “sasha, for the last time, s'not a -”
“can i chat with you for a sec, eren?” she interrupted, jerking her head towards the rear of the car. “bro to bro, mano a mano?”
eren raised his brows but nodded, shooting you a quick wink and dimpled smile before circling around to meet sasha. you watched them in the rearview mirror, your curiosity piqued by the conspiratorial way their heads bent together. like they were plotting their breakthrough evil plan in a marvel movie.
straining your ears, you managed to catch snatches of their conversation over the low hum of the idling engine.
“. . . spit some game, jaeger, i mean it. this is your one chance to . .”
“y’know how i feel, sash. i jus’ don't wanna’ fuck everything up . .”
“think, it's now or never, man. you got this . .”
their voices faded to an indistinct murmur, drowned out by the sudden pounding of your heart. were they talking about you? about . . liking you?
the thought sent a swarm of butterflies rioting in your stomach, a dizzying mix of hope and nerves and sheer, unbridled want. you’d heard it over the years yeah, but with it being possibly confirmed, to know that you maybe, possibly, felt the same way.
you were pulled from your reverie by the sound of the driver's side door opening, eren sliding into his seat with a smile that was equal parts sheepish and determined. sasha leaned down to your open window one last time, her eyes sparkling with mirth and something softer, almost wistful.
“ah well, you two crazy kids have fun, alright?” she said, her tone light but laced with sincerity. “oh and, eren?”
he looked up, brows raised in question.
sasha’s grin widened, her eyes flicking to you before settling back on him. “remember, you're the edward.”
your eyes snapped to sasha, brow furrowed in confusion. “bitch was that a twilight reference?”
she lifted her slender fingers to her lips, playfully twisting them and muffling a “possibly . .”
with that cryptic parting shot, she straightened up and stepped back from the car, giving you both a jaunty salute. “don’t do anything i wouldn't do! love you guys!” she called, laughter lacing her voice as eren shook his head and shifted the car into drive.
and then you were pulling away from the curb, sasha's figure shrinking in the rearview mirror as the city blurred past in a kaleidoscope of light and color. your heart was racing, your skin humming with anticipation, with the knowledge that tonight, everything could change.
the road stretched out before you, an open invitation, a promise of adventure and possibility. and as eren reached over to take your hand, lacing your fingers together like it was the easiest thing in the world, you knew that whatever happened, wherever this night took you . . .
this wasn't going to end well.
Tumblr media
the carnival was a splash of both color and sound, a dizzying assault on the senses. the air was thick with the scent of frying oil and spun sugar, shrieks of laughter and tinny calliope music filling the balmy night. eren watched you take it all in with a soft, indulgent smile, your eyes gone wide and glittering with inquisitive wonder. "aight', where to first, sweet girl?” he asked, bumping your shoulder with his. “wanna' stuff our faces before or after i win you the ugliest, most obnoxious prize on the midway?”
you grinned up at him, looping your arm through his and tugging him into the bustling crowd. "mmm, food first. i can't kick your ass at games on an empty stomach."
"oh, s’ like that, huh?” he arched a brow, smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. "awful big talk knowin’ how bad at those you used to be when we were kids."
"shut the fuck up, eren," you shot back breezily. “jus’ wait till’ i win. i may even be nice. i wont post your L on my story to embarrass you like i was plannin' to.”
"awe, so sweet of you," eren choked out a laugh, something bright and fizzy bubbling up in his chest. god, he'd missed this - the easy back and forth, the playful ribbing. being with you, talking with you — all the time, goofing off like life back at home wasn’t complete shit . . . nothing else even came close.
he let you pull him up to a garishly lit concession stand, elbowing rowdy kids out of the way with an expert nudge here and there. “two cotton candies, please,” you chirped to the bored-looking cashier behind the counter. “one blue, one pink.” eren reached for his wallet but you smacked his hand away, already shoving a few crumpled bills across the sticky surface. “my treat, mr. big-spender. wouldn't want you going broke before you have a chance to win me that giant banana with the dumb face.”
he rolled his eyes fondly as he accepted the enormous swirl of cotton candy, blue as a summer sky. “happy now, princess? m’ puttin’ my foot down on lettin’ you pay for the funnel cake though. a man's gotta retain some dignity.”
you snorted inelegantly, tearing off a huge chunk of pink fluff and stuffing it into your mouth. “bye. you haven't had dignity around me since we were in pull-ups.”
“brat,” eren grumbled, reaching out to pinch your sticky cheek. “watch n’ see if i share my deep-fried oreos with you now.”
but there was no heat to his words, his voice honey-warm with affection. you fit together like this, he mused as you ambled through the crowd, bumping hips and cracking jokes. like two oddly shaped puzzle pieces that shouldn't - couldn’t make sense, but somehow formed a complete picture.
a dangerous thought. one he should really fucking know better than to indulge in this deep in.
shaking off the bittersweet ache, eren focused on the flex of your fingers twined with his, the bounce of your hair as you dragged him towards the midway. the deafening musical dings and whistles, the roar of delighted screams filling the muggy air.
true to your word, you thoroughly trounced him at the ring toss, the squirt gun race, the basketball free-throw. but he just laughed at your victory dance, pretending the warmth in his chest was from healthy competition and not the glow of your pretty face.
he did end up winning you that stupid banana at the ‘test your strength’ game though. it took three tries and way more cash than the damn toy was worth, but the sparkle in your eyes when he presented it to you with a victorian bow - fuck, he'd empty his whole wallet to see you make that face again.
“aw, my hero,” you crowed, hugging the prize to your chest. “how can i ever repay you?”
“hmm.” eren tapped his chin, pretending to think as he slung an arm around your shoulders. “lemme’ get a kiss on the ferris wheel n’ ill call it even.”
you gasped in mock outrage, smacking his chest. “asshole. to think i was gonna’ let you have some of my twinkie . .”
his dirty joke in response was swallowed by a yelp as you commenced beating him over the head with the stuffed banana, both of you dissolving into helpless laughter until your sides ached with it. and christ, it felt good. it felt like coming up for air after spending so long beneath dark, crushing waters. like breaking the surface to feel the sun on your face, filling your greedy lungs with sweet, clean air.
he couldn't remember the last time you'd laughed like that. the last time he'd seen you this close to carefree, eyes bright and cheeks aching from smiling.
not for months. maybe longer.
the thought was a cold shard of sobriety in the giddy warmth of the night, a needle scratch on a perfect track. because even now, even with the salty-sour tang of lemonade on your tongue and powdered sugar dusting your chin . . . he could see the shadow behind your eyes. the tightness at the corners of your mouth, the faraway slope of your gaze when you thought he wasn't looking.
“aight’, question time,” he ventured later as you idled in line for the ferris wheel, the colored lights limning your profile in neon blues and pinks. “you look like you wanna’ start swingin.’”
you huffed a small laugh, but it didn't reach your eyes. “that obvious, huh?”
eren just waited, gaze steady on your face. patient. he knew you, knew every twitch and tell like his own heartbeat. knew you'd crack as long as he gave you enough rope.
you sighed, knocking your head back against the metal railing. your voice was soft, almost lost beneath the squeal and clang of the carnival rides. “i dunno, rennie. guess m’ jus’ . . in my head tonight.”
“in your head bout’ what, mama?” he couldn't resist pushing, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer. sure enough -
“connie.” you spoke the name like it pained you, your brows pulling together. “m’ worried. we’ve never fought this bad before . . . s’ weird.”
“and you can’t stop thinkin’ about him, hm?” eren fought to keep his tone neutral, his expression calm. even as jealousy rose up to choke him, a living thing with claws in his throat.
you shrugged listlessly, pulling a loose thread on your cutoffs. “i jus’ feel so stuck, y'know? like no matter how shitty it gets, no matter how much we hurt each other . . i can't make myself let go. it's fucked up.”
“hey, no.” eren took your shoulders in his hands, ducking his head to catch your downcast eyes. “s’ not fucked up to care, yn. not fucked up to wanna’ fix something that matters to you.”
‘ . . . even if it kills me to watch you try,’ he added silently. ‘ . . even if i think you deserve so much goddamn better.’
you looked up at him, eyes glassy and bottom lip caught between your teeth. weighing his words, searching for a trap. for a hint of judgment or agenda. he let you look, let you see the sincerity on his face. let you find whatever reassurance you were seeking in the endless wells of his eyes.
“i’m jus’ so tired,” you whispered after a long moment, voice cracking on the admission like a fist through a pain of glass. “of the fighting, the mind games, the whole fuckin' roller coaster. m’ so confused, eren . .”
eren's throat closed up, a familiar ache kicking behind his ribs. “oh, baby, no” he murmured, the endearment slipping out unchecked. “c'mere.”
you sank into his open arms like your strings had been cut, face pressing into the warm crook of his neck. he cradled you close, one broad palm smoothing up the delicate ridge of your spine as the other fisted in your hair.
“i know, mama,” he rasped into your temple, eyes squeezing shut against the sudden burn of tears. “you're gonna be jus’ fine. because you're the strongest girl i know.”
a small, watery laugh shuddered out of you, your fingers curling into his shirt. “flatterer. you're jus’ sayin’ that cause you have to. best friend code of honor and all that.”
“yeah n’ i’ll keep sayin’ it,” he shot back fiercely, giving you a squeeze. “s’ the code. but m’ also sayin’ it cause it's true. i love you . . i’ll only ever tell you the truth.”
he felt like an asshole saying that. especially with knowing the kinda secrecy he was sitting on.
you huffed wetly, burrowing deeper into his chest. let his steady heartbeat soothe you as you breathed him in, the clean salt and smoke and leather of him.
“thank you,” you mumbled after a long moment, the words muffled against his shirt. “for always bein’ there.”
“always, love.” the vow was low and solemn in the humid night air, tangling with pipe organ music and shrieking laughter. “you never gotta’ thank me for that. taking care of you is part of the gig.”
‘even when it's slowly killing me,’ he didn't say. ‘even when every second i'm with you and not with you is its own special kind of agony.’
“still.” you pulled back to grace him with a wobbly smile, eyes red-rimmed but clearer than they'd been all night. “i couldn't do this life shit without you, ren. make’ me really happy.”
eren swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “yeah?” he meant it to come out wry, a gentle tease. but his voice was far too raw for that, scraped bloody on the glass shards of his heart.
something flickered across your face, there and gone too quick for him to catch. but then the ferris wheel lurched to a stop before you, and a pimply ride attendant was impatiently waving you forward into a rickety gondola.
the moment broken, you flashed eren a quicksilver grin, bumping him with your hip. “enough of the heavy shit. get that ass in there and buy me a ticket to the gun show since you claim you can beat me at that too.”
“ohhhh, so you wanna’ talk shit again?” eren growled playfully, chasing you into the tiny, swinging car with fingers hooked into claws.
you shrieked with laughter, batting at his hands as he dug them into your sides, both of you a tangle of flailing limbs and snorting giggles as the wheel cranked to life. and just like that, the strange tension was broken. shattered like a soap bubble on a summer breeze.
but eren could still feel it as he slung an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his body as you rose into the starry sky. the bittersweet ache, pulsing in time with his heartbeat. the unspoken words, curdling on his tongue, trapped behind his teeth.
he loved you. he was in love with you. so deeply, so consummately, it defied language. it transcended anything as paltry and mundane as a few paltry words.
and he knew, with a soul-deep certainty, you'd never be his. no matter how much his stupid fucking heart liked to play pretend, you'd never look at him the way he looked at you. never crave his touch, his kiss, his love the way he did yours.
you were in love with someone else. and that . . . that was a hurt that no amount of carny music and fried dough could soothe. a loss he'd spend the rest of his life failing to make peace with.
so he just pulled you closer, staring out at the patchwork quilt of lights and color without really seeing it. let your warm, solid weight against his side, the soft puff of your breath on his throat, sear into his memory. a talisman against lonelier nights to come.
but still, a traitorous voice whispered in the back of his head . . under the harvest moon, with the whole world spread out a glittering carpet below, he felt the phantom brush of your mouth on his. the shape of his name, gasped into shared breath like a revelation.
like an answer to a question it was getting harder and harder not to ask.
later, as he white-knuckled the steering wheel, jaw working around all the words he couldn't say, eren tried to console himself that it was enough. that you needed him, wanted him, even if it was for a lesson or only to make the hurt go away for a while. that you'd even seen him, just for a moment, as someone you could lose yourself in. someone you could want.
but it wasn't enough. it would never be enough.
because now you feel it too.
the drive back to your apartment was quiet, the silence heavy with all the things left unsaid. you could only fiddle with your fingers as eren's hands were gripped white-knuckled on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched as he stared straight ahead. you could practically feel the words radiating off him in waves.
you wanted to reach out to him, to smooth the furrow between his brows with gentle fingertips. wanted to tell him that it was okay, that you felt it too - this terrifying, exhilarating thing building between you.
but you didn't. you couldn't.
so you stayed quiet, letting the low crooning of the weeknd fill the space. the music was soothing, a balm to your turbulent emotions.
you let yourself get lost in it, in the sensual rasp of his voice and the pulsing beat. let yourself pretend, just for a moment, that this was all there was - no complications, no messy feelings, no connie waiting for you. just you and eren and the open road, salt-kissed hair whipping in the night breeze as you chased the endless horizon.
but all too soon, reality intruded as eren took your exit. the familiar streets slipped past your window, each one a reminder of the real life you were returning to. the life you weren't sure you fit into anymore.
eren pulled up outside your apartment building, shifting the car into park. for a moment, you both just sat there, staring out the windshield at the silent sidewalks bathed in shadows. you knew you should say something, should thank him for an amazing night and head inside. should gather your things and slip out of the car, out of this moment that felt too momentous, too full of unspoken possibility.
but you couldn't seem to make yourself move, couldn't force the words past the lump in your throat. because this...this felt like a crossroads, a turning point that you weren't ready to face.
beside you, eren took a deep breath, hands flexing on the steering wheel. when he finally spoke, his voice was low and rough.
"i had a really good time tonight. with you."
you swallowed hard, heart kicking against your ribs. "i did too," you managed, barely above a whisper. "it was . . . it was really sweet of you. to do all this for me."
eren nodded, a small, almost sad smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "i meant what i said - that i'd do anything for you." he turned to look at you then, sea-glass eyes finding yours in the darkness. "i love you. y'know that, right?"
your breath caught, eyes twinkling at the same pace as the butterflies in your tummy at his words, "i love you too, eren."
his gaze searched yours, something raw and aching swimming in those depths. slowly, so slowly, he reached out, fingertips grazing the curve of your cheek. you shivered at the contact, eyes fluttering closed. his touch was feather-light, but it felt like a brand. a claim, “what? why you lookin’ at me like that . . ” he spoke, voice cracking on the last word.
"cause i think you’ve earned yourself a g’night kiss," you say in the same tone, "c’mere, rennie . ."
before you could second guess yourself, before you could talk yourself out of it - and before you could even begin to regret, eren closes the distance between you, his lips finding yours in the darkness of his mustang as if he’d been waiting the entire night to do so — and well, that's cause he had.
the kiss was soft at first, gentle, just a whisper of breath and a brush of skin. but it felt like the world tilting on its axis, like a supernova exploding behind your eyes.
eren made a low, almost wounded sound in the back of his throat. his hand slid into your hair, cradling the back of your skull as he angled your head, deepening the kiss. his tongue swept into your mouth and you opened for him immediately, helplessly, a moan rising in your throat. he tasted like salt and sin and something uniquely eren. you wanted to drown in it, in him. wanted to sink into his heat and never come up for air.
your hands fisted in the front of his shirt, tugging him closer as months, years of silent pent-up longing poured out of you. the center console dug into your hip and your seatbelt was biting into your shoulder but you didn't care, you couldn't, not when eren was kissing you like a man starved.
eventually, the dire need for oxygen forced you apart, chests heaving as you blinked at each other in the charged stillness. eren rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, his heart thundering against your palm through the thin cotton of his shirt. "that’s one hell of a way of sayin' g'night, hm?" eren asks, his hands roaming your curves greedily, mapping out the dip of your waist, the flare of your hips, the fat globes of your ass as you climb into his lap. each touch only stoked the inferno building in your veins, your cotton panties growing damp in the middle with evidence of your arousal.
and he must’ve noticed too.
"eren . . i-" you stutter, but he only groans as you begin to grind yourself, hard, against the rigid line of his dick. your nails are still digging into his shoulders, and he’s still moaning as if he’d been punched in the gut until his head falls back against the seat — now he’s looking at you, maybe even looking through you.
"what, baby? what d'you need, hm?" he questions, gently tugging on the waistband of your panties, "c'mon, princess. dont be shy, you can tell me."
you hear those words and begin to think sasha may had been right. maybe it was time to stop overthinking and just . . let yourself feel. let yourself experience. let yourself have this, have him, even if it’s only for a night.
so you do . .
"i wan' it, eren," you breathed, catching his chin and tilting his face back to yours. you held his blown-black gaze, letting him see the resolve there. letting him see how much you wanted this. wanted him. "wan’ you to fuck me again . . please ?"
eren sighs, "we don’t have a condom, my love."
"i don’t really give a fuck about that."
well then, shit. permission granted.
" . . say less."
a thrill danced down your spine at the raw yearning in his voice, the way his hands flexed restlessly against his thighs like it was taking everything in him not to just rip your clothes off himself.
holding his gaze, you slowly peel your bralette to the side - revealing your plumped titties and tossing it carelessly into the backseat. cool air kissed your overheated skin and you shivered, nipples pebbling against the temperature. you almost begin to cross your arms over your chest - shielding yourself out of habit, but eren won’t allow it — "don’t do that. c'mon, mama . . s' nothin' i’ve never seen before." eren’s soft voice fills your ears and the awed hitch in his voice eases any lingering nervousness within you, replacing it with a deep and pulsing want. besides, this far into knowing one another, hiding from him in general just seemed so silly now, pointless.
because how on earth could you ever feel judged when you had someone in front of you who saw you as nothing less than perfection?
this was right.
right?
it felt right.
how could it be anything other than right?
eren's breath caught audibly as you shrugged out of your thoughts, your bare chest rising and falling rapidly under his heated stare. "y-you can touch me," you whispered, half command and half plea. "you don’t have to be gentle anymore . ."
he wasted no time in obeying, big palms coming up to cup the weight of your breasts almost reverently. you sighed at the contact, head lolling back on your shoulders as he kneaded the soft flesh, clever fingers plucking at your nipples until they ached.
"so beautiful," he rasped, thumbs circling the stiff peaks, just enough pressure to make you squirm slightly. "could play wit' 'em for hours, get you all worked up n' desperate jus' from this, huh?" you whined helplessly, arching your back to push further into his touch. "sensitive," you gasped out as he pinched softly, sparks of both pleasure-pain zipping straight to your core. "always so - ah! - so sensitive, i-i dunno why - "
"i know, baby," eren soothed, leaning in to lave over one aching bud with the flat of his tongue. you cried out sharply, hands flying up to sink into his hair. "know everything about you . . know jus' how to touch you, know jus' how to fuck you, know jus' what makes you cum f'me."
he closed his lips around your nipple and sucked hard, just on the right side of too much. and your hips bucked uselessly against him, seeking all of any friction that wasn't there. "wait, wait, wait - eren!"
"shh, don’t fight me," he mumbled around your flesh, rolling the bud between his teeth before releasing it with a wet pop. "gonna' make you feel s'good, love, don't worry." then he was urging you backwards, big, calloused hands gripping your waist to help you shuffle until you were reclined against the passenger side door. you went willingly, eagerly, letting him maneuver you however he wanted. he followed the line of your body, hovering over you propped on one elbow while his other hand skated down your trembling abdomen. and when he reached the waistband of your shorts, he glanced up at you through long lashes, a question you already were familiar with forming in his eyes.
"may i ?"
"yes! yes, yes, hurry," you whimpered, already lifting your hips in silent permission. "p-please - i don’t wanna' beg. don’t m-make me beg . . " a muscle in his jaw ticked, eyes flaring hot as he swiftly popped the button on your jeans and drew down the zipper. his knuckles brushing over your ass as he worked and you keened, already embarrassingly wet for him.
"almost forgot how responsive you are," he praised roughly, dragging your shorts and panties down your legs in one smooth motion. "fuckin' drippin' already, jesus. really missed me that bad?"
"yes," you panted as he tossed your clothes somewhere behind him carelessly, leaving you bare and open to his hungry gaze. "always . . always m-missin' you . . "
"diddo," he promised, shifting to kneel between your parted thighs. "if you hide from me again i’m stoppin' . . got it?"
"y-yes . ."
the urge to ask, ‘yes what?’ almost kills him, but he quickly settles with a wink and a husky, "atta' girl." and then his fingers were on you, parting your slick folds, and coherent thought flew right out the window.
"o-oh," you gasped, hips canting into his touch as he explored your soaked flesh. "oh fuck, yes . ."
eren groans at just how easy his fingers slid into you, walls sucking him in and painting them a pretty white. "aw, baby . . look at that pretty pussy," he rasped, circling your entrance teasingly as creamy sounds start to fill the car. "y'so perfect, fuckin' drenched too - damn . ." you could only moan in response, writhing under his touch as he gathered the slickness at your opening and dragged it up to your aching clit, then quickly smearing it all over your cunt - a few pats from his palm colliding with the sensitive surface. pat pat pat! " . . i stretched you good, didn’t i?" the first pass of his fingers over the swollen nub made you jolt like you'd been electrocuted, a choked cry catching in your throat.
"erenn — y'so m-mean . . stop teasin' me."
"mm, lost your v-card and now you gettin' bratty on me?" eren mused, rubbing slow circles over your clit, just enough pressure to make your toes curl. "yet you the one beggin' to cum on my hand. ain’t that somethin' ?"
"nngh - rennie! f-for realll, i- i can’t! i can’t hold it a-anymore," you managed to rasp, voice thready and thin as his hands worked you over slow and purposeful. "n-not gonna' last, baby, p-please lemme' c-cum . . "
"then do it, m' not stoppin' you," he coaxed, speeding up his fingers. "c'mon, lemme' see. tryna' make me beg for it? hm?" his free hand found your breast again, pinching and tugging at your nipple in time with his ruthless rubbing, the dual sensations hurtling you towards your climax rather fast.
"close! m' close," you whined, back bowing as the tension in your core wound tighter and tighter. "e-eren, m'gonna . . fuuuck, right there!"
"mhm. thas' it," he praised, grinding the heel of his palm against your clit as he pistoned two fingers into your fluttering pussy, curling and dragging them along your insides to complete your, already fucked out, look. "yeah, yn. gimme' all of it. i know you got more." eren continued to work you through it, touch gentling but not letting up, wringing every last aftershock from your quivering body until you collapsed back against the door, boneless and hazy.
"been holdin' that one in, haven’t you," he murmured, withdrawing his fingers slowly, your over-sensitive walls clutching at him greedily as you leave a gooey trail behind you. "don’t think ill ever get tired of seein' that - fuck, n' look at all this . . " he exhales, playing with the remainder of your essence on his fingers before lolling his tongue out of his mouth to lick at them, "leavin' snail trails n' shit. how gross of you. nasty fuck."
you can’t help but laugh once you regain consciousness, swatting at his abdomen all the while unintentionally spreading your legs further apart in a way of politely asking for more, "talkin' shit but you have a cum stain on your pants? bye."
eren’s cheeks go read before his head even whips down near where your finger teasingly points, "mmch . . whatever, bro," he mumbles, looking off to the side as he tries his hardest to fight the dimpled smile on his face.
you then yank on the hem of his shirt, enough to where he's stumbling — hovering over your frame now. and oh, was he so intimidatingly handsome, "hey, i think s' cute. means he likes me."
eren chuckles, "he?" but you don’t laugh. instead, you take the chance to rest your hand on his thigh. you nervously trail your fingertips all the way up until where his zipper begins, doe eyes blinking slowly like a sleepy kitten . .
"yeah . . him," the words come off as a moan the more you stare, cupping his budge in your hand as you begin to rub and tease him through his pants — cause eren wasn’t the only one who could play at that game.
"yn -"
"can i . . can i make you feel good too, rennie?" you ask, nuzzling into the side of his neck. shit, you didn’t really know where the surge of dominance was coming from - but you damn sure weren’t opposed, "lemme' get on top . . please?"
"ion' know about all that."
"mmch - why not? i feel fine, nothin' hurts. why d'you get to be the one to have all the fun . . so annoyin'." your eyes roll, and eren just shakes his head. 'and you, my love, are so stubborn,' he thinks. eren had never been one to turn down the opportunity to be pleasured, but this? were you even ready for that — it’d only been a few days since you lost your virginity. poor dude just didn’t wanna’ hurt you. but now . . the more he thought about it, the only thing he could see is the image of you lowering your ass down on his lap, nails clawing into him as he holds you close in an effort to help you balance.
shit, how can he possibly sit here and tell you no?
so with a deep breath and one last look at your plea, he obliges. llifting abruptly, you squeal when you feel his gentle hands grabbing your hips - "hop in back," he grumbles, and when you do he follows, wasting no time to spin you round' n' press you against the window. with your titties smushed against the glass, you gasp as knees your legs apart, "arch y'back, c'mon. you said you wanted to please me . . let’s go."
"b-but wait, ren i dunno' how to —"
"you'll learn." thick fingers nudge at your thighs, eren taking the time to appreciate the view — and you moan high and needy when you feel his fingers gather some essence from your folds, circling around your clif to warm you up a little bit.
"this all f'me? he murmurs softly in you ear, the rough pad of his fingers painting sticky patterns all over the throbbing flesh, "all this . . jus' cause m' lettin' you be in charge, huh?"
"yes . ." you hiss, grinding back against the hard ridge of him, chasing his touch, "oh p-please, e - s' startin' to hurrt . . . need you."
"gonna' give it to you, baby," he promised darkly, already kneading the fat of your ass in his hands. he wanted to go slow . . he really did, but shit, he just felt so greedy for you, "gonna' make sure you get y'nut off jus' like i do . . ain’t that right?" he says that last part a little quieter — because oh, he needed to talk to her too.
your pussy.
the vice that had you somewhat embarrassed by the sheer amount of wetness pouring from it. it just felt so good — bent over n' spread for him. he knew that. he could tell from the crude curses and raw pleas spilling from your mouth.
"l-lemme' put it in, rennie . ." you shakily ask, and his laugh only makes you wetter.
and just then, he teases . . the front of his pelvis slowly thrusting into your backside - as if he were in you. you writhed impatiently, a lump building in your throat. "o-oh my god," you choked out again. "fuck me, eren. i-i wan' it . . . please?"
"fuck you? thought you wanted to fuck me? now you beggin' like a slut . ." he playfully retorts, and you flinch and keen at the name. slut. slut? hm . . slut. it felt so different, so new, so . . nasty. nasty in the best way — but eren’s completely still. scared, maybe. had he crossed the line? was that too much? too harsh? too weird? who knows . . he hadn’t even noticed the word slip from his mouth until he saw the momentarily stunned look on your face, "o-oh, shit. baby, i didn’t mean that in a bad way - s' jus' some shit i like to say sometimes when i’m really . . into it. m' sorry i —"
"no no, say it again, rennie."
he pauses, lifting his head up from the side of your neck, "w-what? slut? you . . you like that?" he asks, brows scrunched together with a seriousness that you couldn’t help but to giggle over. so with a laugh, you smile, nodding your head as you almost begin to grow fond at the new-found discovery.
"y-yeah, i like that. makes me feel . . i dunno', sexy," you shrug, eren giving giving you one last look — one of consent and . . . dangerous focus.
eren chuckles, "sexy, huh? dont say that jus' cause you wanna' make me feel good." he warns, and there was only a tiny whisper of, 's' okay, i'm sure. i like it, i promise,' left before you look behind you to watch him gently undo his zipper, wiggling out of his pants, then finally his black hannes briefs. then it springs free — his dick. you missed it, the look, the feel. it was so pretty. long, fat, heavy, n' cleanly groomed with an angry red tip that just couldn’t stop leaking even if he tried to make it. and your mouth waters, a newer stream of arousal forming between your legs . .
eren created a monster.
a slut certified, monster.
eren takes your smaller hand in his big one, wrapping it around the thickness of his shaft, "put it in slow . . i don’t wanna' hurt you," you’re taken by surprise when you see him gather saliva in his mouth to spit it where your hands rest together, "stroke it jus' like this a lil' bit," he instructs, moving your hands in a synchronized rhythm before gently removing his grasp and letting you palm it on your own, "mhm, slow . . . up n' down."
"am i doin' it right, eren?" you ask, and he couldn’t have given you a prettier answer.
"y-yeah, baby . . feels s'good, shit." you watch as his gaze his fixed on your motion, and emboldened by the reaction, you decide to experiment by twisting your wrist and running your thumb over the leaking tip. the more you got the hang of it, the confidence entered your body faster than eren could say — " oooh, fuck yeah . . " now bucking his hips involuntarily into your grasp, "ssss' o-okay, okay . . c-chill out, m' not tryna' cum jus' yet, girl."
"that’s what you get for playin' around." you tease, and finally, "now, come on. i wanna' feel you again . . i’ll be good, i'll go slow, n' i'll listen, i promise." and he groans at the desperation in your voice, he loved you so much. god, so so much. it was hurting him. this was hurting him. he knew it would, always had — but that’s just the price he’d have to pay tonight.
"okay . ." he smirks, pushing back any and every logical thought telling him no. telling him that fucking you like this, touching you like this, was only going to dig him deeper, "go ahead . ." you nod, and with a gentle squeeze to your ass, he helps you line himself up with your entrance — the blunt tip of his cock pushing past your stiff ring of muscle.
"a-ah shit, y'so tight," he grunts, staying put as your velvety walls recognize and embrace his length, "relax f'me, angel . . breathe." you do as your told, taking a deep inhale and exhale as you feel him start to push in a little, a bit deeper so that just the tip was sitting within you - splitting you open all over again inch by delicious inch. it burned in the best way possible, your pussy struggling to accommodate to him at this angle.
fuck . . he really was big.
"oh god — e-eren, that f-feels . . different," your voice almost sounds like you’re on the verge of tears as you begin to wiggle your hips a bit to adjust better, your pussy clenching like there was literally no tomorrow, "i-i . . s' so deep already, fuck . ."
eren looks down at you, a look of slight concern washing over him, "s' jus' the tip, mama . . is it too deep? wan' me to take some out?" but that leaves him the minute he watches your eyes roll to the back of your head. oh, it was a good kind of deep, "or . . you wan' some more?" he coos.
"mhm! m-more," you’re happy. so happy that you’re too giddy to wait on him to give it to you. flushed, you slowly move your hips back and forth, taking more - gasping as his dick finally kisses your cervix with each motion. "r-rennie," you cry, picking up the pace as you begin to throw yourself back on his dick - the obscene sound of skin slapping and the churn of your cunt filling the thick air of the car.
the action catches eren by surprise, a choked moan rumbling deep in his chest, "oh fuck — thas' it, princess," he praises, "y-yeah . . . bounce that shit. there you go." as a reward, eren captures your lips with his own, licking into your mouth as he grips both sides of your waist.
lost in pleasure, there’s nothing that you can really do but moan brokenly, bracing your palms against the now foggy window because . . you just couldn’t take it. the more you dragged yourself up and down his dick, the more your walls pulse around him, the more your stomach tightens . . the more you begin to grow closer to your high.
"ren-rennie . . fuck me back," you whine, and he obliged with ease. his hips move, and he starts with slow thrusts meeting you halfway. he watches you, transfixed, your tits bouncing with each roll of your hips. unable to resist, he captures the tip of your ear into his mouth, sucking on the skin and twisting it between his teeth in a pleasurable yet painful bite, "oh my god — right there! right there, eren, oh shiiit," you gasp, head lolled back onto his shoulder, drooling, as he delivers nothing but the deepest strokes he could.
"yes. take that dick . . you f-fuckin' slut." you can feel his potency, his dominance starting to really fade into view, "take. it. all." the snap of his hips was brutal, and from then on, the gentle dynamic between you shifts, and you find yourself reveling in the authority. submitting.
submitting to him.
"nnn — s' so good . . m' y-your slut, only your s-slut, only f'you," you slur, drunk from pure pleasure. eren groans at the praise, his rhythm faltering for a moment before resuming his punishing pace with renewed vigor.
"y'like bein' nasty, huh? like h-havin' me split this pussy open on my dick? i know m' gonna' make you cum soon. i feel it, mama — grippin' me like you never wanna' let me go."
it’s true. the grip you had on him was crucial, crucial enough for you to believe that eren had completely ruined you, "n-never," you reply to his words, "wan' you i-inside me always," oh great, and you’re babbling now too. so far gone you couldn’t even censor yourself, your thoughts, your want.
eren's gaze locks onto your pleading one, feeling the urgency in your voice. the way you were moaning for him as his hands glided possessively over your form, memorizing each and every contour and curve as if it were the first time all over again. "you’re a f-fuckin' masterpiece," he breathes out softly, overwhelmed by the thought of really, truly, making you his. "cum for me, angel," he urges, voice strained with the effort of holding back his own release, "p-please cum for me . ."
those exact words push you over the edge, and you cum with a silent scream, your walls clamping down, wave after wave of intense pleasure crashing over you — stealing the breath right from your lungs and making your pretty, french tipped toes curl. and through the haze of your climax, you feel him too, thrusts now erratic.
"get there, rennie . ." you encourage dizzily, "cum in m-me. now. please - let me h-have it . . i been s'good." in you? like in you, in you? girl are you crazy?
well, the answer was yes.
and he was crazier.
wrapping huge hands around the front of your neck - pulling you back on his dick to use you like a fucktoy, he brought your foreheads together as he began to piston into you, powerful hips driving his body in a relentless, deep-dicking rhythm. "never." he emphasized each word with a brutal thrust and grind. "gonna'. want. anyone. like. i. want. you."
you could only wail in response, still clinging on to the solidity of the door as he picked you apart with brutal efficiency. your pussy was gushing constantly now, cream squelching out to paint the both of your thighs with each hammering impact of his pelvis on yours. that molten coil in your core pulled taut as a bowstring, quivering on the very edge of snapping.
eren didn’t have time to protest. he was too far gone, so much so that if he weren’t — the next words leaving his mouth would’ve never seen the light of day. not in a billion years. "f-fuck! fuck, baby m' cummin', m' cummin' f'you - fuuuuck yes! hngh - i lov-love you, i love you so fuckin' much, yn . ." his words trail off, and with one last guttural moan, he slams a final time before stilling, his cock throbbing as he spills his cum deep in the depths of your womb.
but you’re still for other reasons. reasons like . . the phrase that just escaped from his mouth. what did he say, love? eren . . loved you? like, really loved you? no, you must’ve misheard him. you must’ve been so out of it that the ‘lust’ section in your brain had you dreaming cause . . that wasn’t a part of the plan.
it was never a part of the plan.
"w-wait, what did you just say?" you whisper, your heart pounding in your ears as the weight of eren's words sink in. the hazy afterglow of your passionate encounter evaporates in almost an instant, replaced by a cold, creeping dread.
eren blinks at you, his expression a mix of both confusion and uncertainty. "i uh . . i said that . . i love you," he repeats, reaching out to cup your cheek with a trembling hand. "cause i do . . love you, yn."
you jerk away from his touch as if burned, causing him to flinch. you then scramble away from his grasp, hurriedly grabbing for your discarded clothes with shaking hands. "no," you cut him off, your voice high and thin with panic. "no, no, no . . you don't get to say that to me. not now, not like this, not ever."
eren sits up, pulling his boxers up on his waist as he watches you yank on your underwear and top with jerky, uncoordinated movements. "yo - wait yn, hol' up," he pleads, his voice rough with . . something similar to grief. he was losing you, he knew he was, "hey, c'mon. shit — please, can we jus' talk about this?"
"there's nothin' to talk about, eren," you snap, refusing to meet his gaze as you fumble with the buttons of your jeans. your skin feels too tight, your lungs constricted, like you can't get enough air. "this was supposed to be just sex, remember? you were supposed to be teaching me, helping me learn . . this wasn’t what we agreed on."
"fuck what we agreed on, yn. i can’t control how i feel about you," eren counters, frustration bleeding into his tone. he rakes a hand through his tousled hair, jaw clenched tight. "is it really that fuckin' crazy to think that i like you - that i love you?"
you flinch at his words, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "yes," you whisper, hating the way your voice cracks. "yes, it is crazy, eren. i'm with connie. i love connie, and he loves me. what we've been doing . . . it was never supposed to be anything more than physical."
eren stares at you for a long moment, something like heartbreak flashing in his eyes before he looks away. "sounds more like you tryna' convince yourself that thats jus' what it was, to me," he says hollowly, a muscle ticking in his jaw. "but, of course. how could i forget? i was just a fuck, right?" guilt churns in your stomach, sharp and acidic. you never meant to hurt eren, hell no. you never wanted your friendship to get so complicated, but in your desperation to be a somewhat ‘better girlfriend’ to connie, to figure out how to satisfy him, to please him, you'd let things go too far.
"that’s not fair," you whispered, eyes over-bright. "i never had that intention. y'know damn well that i care about you — the both of you!"
"do i?" he snapped before he could stop himself. "cause from where m' sitting, it looks a whole lot like you jus' got done fuckin' me n' havin' the best nut of your life, only to go runnin' back to your dickhead boyfriend the second shit gets real."
your mouth fell open, shocked anger and betrayal twisting your features. "y'know what, fuck you, eren! you don't get to judge me, not about this! you knew what this was, you knew i had unfinished business —"
"unfinished business?" he croaked out a laugh, eyes stinging and throat gone tight. "is that what we callin' it now? silly me, i thought maybe, just maybe, you were ready to cut the cord on that bitch ass loser tonight. guess you had other ideas the whole goddamn time."
tears were welling in your eyes now and it killed him, ripped at his fucking heart to see you hurting because of him. but he couldn't stop, the hurt and rage and crushing disappointment was just pouring out of him like blood from a wound.
"the trip," he bit out, fighting to keep his voice steady. "you still plannin' on goin' with him?"
you looked away, fingers twisting together in your lap. "well now i don't fuckin' know. maybe i will."
maybe. that single word cracked through eren's chest like a gunshot, shattering the fragile hope that had been kindling there all night. fuck, but he'd really thought . . . after what you'd just shared, the soul-deep connection, he'd really let himself believe you would choose him. would finally see how it was always supposed to be him.
but no. yet again, connie came first. your history, your obligation to the familiar . . . it won out over everything. over him.
over what could've been.
"maybe, huh?" he scoffs, and just as he’s about to try and say something else, something that could persuade you to maybe think twice, the thought leaves as quickly as it arrives.
because your phone is ringing.
and when you don’t even take a chance to hesitate to fish it out, eren catches a glimpse of the caller ID, his stomach plummeting to his toes. connie. of fucking course.
he watched, something bitter and ugly unfurling in his gut, as you bit your lip and accepted the call with a shaky, "h-hey, what's up?" angling yourself away from him as connie's gruff voice emanated from the speaker, mouth set in a tight line. eren couldn't really make out what was being said, but from the stricken look on your face and the way you were suddenly scrambling for the rest of your belongings . . he could only take a wild fuckin' guess.
you were leaving him, again.
eren made a low, disgusted sound, but you couldn't look at him. couldn't bear to see the betrayal that would undoubtedly be painted across his face.
connie's voice filled your ear once more, slightly tinny but painfully familiar. "hey babe. jus' wanted to y’know. . check in, see what you were up to. we didn’t really get to text much earlier while you were in class so . . ."
you closed your eyes, guilt and confusion and residual longing warring in your gut. "yeah. i mean, s' fine. i'm . . i'm okay."
"yeah? that's good." a pause, heavy with unspoken thoughts. "i miss you. been thinkin' bout' you all night."
another cry threatened to bubble out of your throat. if only he knew what you'd been doing mere minutes ago. who you'd been doing.
"i miss you too," you heard yourself say, the words automatic. empty.
beside you, eren sighs. when you chanced a glance at him, his face was a mask of bitter resignation. as if he'd expected this — cause deep down, he knew he had.
"you still comin' over?" connie asked, oblivious to the turmoil roiling in your chest. "to talk things out, remember . . i jus' — this shit been heavy on my mind, y'know?"
your stomach bottomed out, panic and indecision clawing at your throat. this was it. the moment of truth. you could tell him no, could go back, choose eren and the sweetly blooming possibility he represented. could finally break the chains of habit that kept you tethered to a love that had long since soured.
or you could do what you always did. could fall back into the familiarity of connie's arms, his promises, his inevitably recycled bullshit. could put off the terrifying unknown of a real future for the dubious comfort of a shitty past.
in the end, cowardice won out. you were too weak, too scared, to seize your own happiness with both hands. not when the alternative was so ingrained, so automatic.
you hated yourself even as the words spilled from numb lips.
"okay. yeah, we can . . we can still talk. jus' gimmie' a few minutes to um, get ready."
you hang up, and you felt more than broken when you see eren go stiff, a full body reaction like your words had finally killed him. but you could only watch helplessly as he slowly withdrew from you, his warm hand and steadiness receding like the tide in the waves you saw earlier at the pier.
he was already reaching for the door handle on your side, already putting distance between your bodies as if he couldn't stand to be near you a second longer.
"get out," he said flatly, his voice devoid of inflection. cold in a way you'd never heard him direct toward you before.
"what," you whispered brokenly, your heart shattering behind your ribs. "we aren’t done with this conversa -"
"i said get the fuck out!" he roared, frustratedly slamming a palm against the steering wheel. "go run back to your sorry ass excuse of a boyfriend, yn. go let him break your heart for the millionth goddamn time when you go on that trip. jus' don't expect me to be here to pick up the pieces when he does."
tears were flowing freely down your face now, each word out of his mouth a barbed blade in your chest. "you don’t mean that. n-not at all. please, can we just-"
"no. no more talkin'. no more fuckin' excuses, man." his eyes finally met yours and the anguish there, the rage and sorrow, stole the breath from your lungs. "i'm done. i'm so fuckin' done being your backup plan, your shoulder to cry on when shit goes south. i can't — i won't do it anymore."
"eren," you choked out, but he just shook his head.
"go," he gritted from between clenched teeth. "go and don't look back because i can promise you this, i won't be here waitin' when you realize what a stupid fuckin' mistake you've made."
it’s quiet, so quiet you feel like the only thing you can say is . .
"i hate you. i absolutely fuckin' hate you."
"diddo."
a sob wrenched from your throat but you fumbled for the door anyway, spilling out onto the sidewalk on quaking legs. the apology, the desperate plea, withered and died on your tongue as he peeled away from the curb with a screech of rubber, not sparing you a second glance.
you watched his taillights disappear around the corner, feeling like your still-beating heart had just been carved right from your chest. like you'd been disposed, scraped clean and left raw and aching.
with wooden limbs, you made your way up the walk and fumbled with your keys, barely seeing through the veil of tears and lash clusters that even a 'two week hold' glue couldn’t save. somehow you managed to let yourself into the dark apartment, nothing but the dim light of sasha's favorite sit-com rolling in the background.
"hey babes," she groggily says, rising from the couch with a yawn, "fell asleep waitin' on your ass — woah, are you . . are you crying?"
only once the door closed behind you did you let yourself crumple next to her, heaving sobs wracking your frame as you fall into her embrace, "honey, oh my goodness . . what happened?" you cried like you were bleeding out, like you'd just lost the most important thing you'd never even really had.
you didn't know how long you laid there, cheek pressed to sasha's chest, tears and snot and self-recrimination soaking into her pajamas.
long enough for the moon to track slowly across the sky, silver and uncaring.
long enough for the sun to come up, sasha sleeping — but your eyes still so open.
long enough to realize that you’d done it.
you’d actually lost him.
Tumblr media
©️ SATORUBI - please do not copy, translate, or modify my work without my approval ! thank you for playing . . the challenge has only just begun.
443 notes · View notes
girlgenius1111 · 2 days
Text
hand in hand
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
part 2 to i'll never leave. never mind. what is healing? what is moving on? you aren't sure. if you know anything, though, it's that alexia will get you through this. and if she ever wondered, you'd get her through it, too. pretty angst but lots and lots of fluff. heavy discussions of grief.
-------
Maybe you were looking for a distraction, or maybe you just knew your girlfriend well enough to know that she wasn’t entirely herself. It could have just been stress, of course. She was clearly running herself into the ground worrying about you. At home, Alexia was attentive; she seemed to know what you needed before you knew you needed it. She was there, arms open, before you’d even registered that you needed a hug. She distracted you before you even realized you were spiraling. At work, it wasn’t much different. She always had an eye on you, and if she couldn’t for some reason, she made sure someone else did. It was, of course, suffocating at times. Even when it got to be too much, though, Alexia seemed to sense it. She’d leave to go get lunch with Mapi, or visit Eli. She’d kiss you softly, make you promise to call if you needed her, and head out. The few hours of space always worked perfectly, and by the time she returned home to you, all of your annoyance was gone. 
Alexia was perfect. More than perfect. You just had this tugging feeling in your chest telling you that something was off with your girlfriend. Your suspicions were only confirmed when you awoke in the middle of the night to find her in tears next to you; a sight that was completely out of the norm for her. 
“Ale? What’s wrong?” You mumbled groggily, reaching blindly for your girlfriend. Her sniffles had woken you, though they cut off sharply as soon as you shifted next to her. 
“Nothing, amor, nothing. Go back to sleep.” Alexia replied, her voice thick with tears. You forced your eyes open, pulling on her when she tried to roll away from you. 
“C’mere.” With a bit more tugging, you managed to pull Alexia onto her back, leaning up on your arm to look down at her face. Her skin was soft under your finger as you wiped a tear away, and you couldn’t resist the soft kiss you placed onto her cheek. “Why are you crying, baby?” 
She shook her head a bit, refusing to look you in the eye. “I just had a bad dream.” Alexia lied. It was concerning that she was lying about having a nightmare. Normally, that wouldn’t be something she’d openly admit, so if she was doing so now, it meant that whatever she was really crying about was much worse. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” 
Alexia just shook her head, leaning imperceptibly closer to you. 
A conversation would have to come, that much was obvious. Now, though, her eyes were drooping, and you felt sleepiness creeping back up on you too. You both needed sleep, and whatever had to be said could wait until the morning. 
So, you just snuggled into her chest and laced your fingers with hers. You were pretty much as close to her as you could get, and she seemed to relax minutely at the feeling. “Wake me up if you have another dream, okay?” 
“Sí, amor.” Alexia whispered. 
It was almost too easy to fall asleep. You were warm under the blankets, and pressed up against Alexia. Her heartbeat was steady, as it always was, and the sweatshirt she was wearing smelled like her. You hoped she found you as comforting as you found her. 
You were almost completely asleep within a few minutes, but still awake enough to hear her when she spoke. 
“Te amo.” She whispered, sliding her hand up the back of your shirt and settling back into the pillows. 
-----
With a long training session the following morning, there wasn’t any time at all for the two of you to talk beforehand. Only when you’d both returned home, showered and changed into comfy clothes, did you decide to broach the subject of what was wrong with her, though you were beginning to think you had an idea of what it was. 
It had come to you that morning, when you’d woken up before her. She must have gotten warm in the middle of the night because she’d shed her sweatshirt, leaving her in only a small tank top. She’d been asleep on her stomach, and you’d been tracing your finger over her back tattoos when suddenly the cause of what had been bothering her became obvious. 
She was unusually clingy, today, although maybe it was just regular clingy, now. In the aftermath of what had happened, since your girlfriend had been keeping you as close to her as possible. You found yourself curled into her side on the couch, an old Barça match on the screen that Alexia was taking notes on. Instead of bringing it up casually, like you wanted to, it ended up spilling out of your mouth out of nowhere. 
“Ale? I wanted to check on you.” You said suddenly. Alexia startled slightly as you broke the relative silence of the room, and paused the TV. 
“On me?” 
“On you.” You confirmed. Alexia turned herself fully in your direction looking a bit defensive. “This has to be… triggering for you, no?” 
Alexia shrugged. “I guess.” 
“Look, Ale. This isn’t a one way street. I love you and I need you, but you can need me too. This can be hard for you too.” 
Alexia nodded slowly, blinking hard. “It has been a little hard. I do not like to see you hurting.” 
“And…” You prompted. 
Alexia shut her eyes tightly. “And it reminds me of what happened. It reminds me of what I felt, and what I saw my Mami and Alba go through, and-” she cut herself off, inhaling a shuddering breath. 
You pulled her in, slightly awkwardly as you guided her head into the crook of your neck.  She was taller, and she ended up laying half on top of you, but the anguish on her face and the almost panicked way she gripped onto you distracted you from that. 
“I am okay.” She promised, though you felt a tear drop onto your skin. “It is just hard.” 
“You don't have to be okay. I’m here for you too, Ale.” You promised.
A brief pause. “I do not think I am okay.” 
You fought a smile at the contradiction, running your nails up and down her back. “Can I do anything?” 
“Stay here with me and do not let go.” She requested. “Maybe… maybe we can go see my Mami later? And Alba? I would like to see them, but if you do not feel ready or-” 
“We’ll go for dinner.” You agreed instantly. It would be nice to see Eli and Alba. To feel the love of a family, even if it wasn’t yours. Though, if Alexia ever heard you say that she’d be furious; she insisted that you were a part of her family. 
As if stricken by a thought, Alexia wrenched her head away from you, a rather frantic look in her eyes. “Amor, this does not mean I do not want you to talk to me, or come to me if you are hurting. I can handle it, I promise, I-”
You cut her off, shushing her gently as she began to panic. Her greatest fear seemed to be you pulling away from her. You tried not to think about why that was. “Ale, I know. I’ve got you, and I know you’ve got me. Yeah?” 
Your girlfriend nodded, satisfied. “I’ve got you.” She affirmed. “And you’ve got me.” 
“Always.” You promised. Alexia pulled you in closer, and hoped that you really meant that. 
------
It seemed to come out of nowhere, the argument. One minute you were sprawled across your girlfriend’s body on the couch, watching a show, and the next, you and Alexia were on opposite sides of the room, dissolving into a shouting match. 
It began when Alexia asked a seemingly mundane question. One of her hands was tangled in your hair, and the other was tucked up under the back of your shirt, her nails bluntly scratching at your skin. You were as content as could be, until she paused the show, and sat you up off of her a bit. 
“Amor, the team is going out tomorrow for team bonding, to the beach. We should go.”
Perhaps it was her tone, or maybe the overly soft look on her face, but her comment felt ridiculously condescending. Like you were a child she had to convince to go to school. You didn’t like to be coddled. You might have even just agreed, if the way she’d phrased her statement hadn’t’ so suddenly infuriated you. And, alright, maybe you were a bit irritable. 
“You can go. I don’t feel like the beach.” You told her, trying to remain neutral and not freak out over something so insignificant. Alexia clearly didn’t pick up on the fact that you were annoyed with her, though. 
“You do not feel like much these days, amor. It worries me.” She commented, sitting up and attempting to pull you back into her. Again, you felt like a child, incapable of controlling her emotions and completely reliant on her girlfriend to hold your hand through everything. 
“You mean since my brother died? I haven’t felt like doing things? Shocking.” You replied bitingly, feeling a pang of guilt in your gut at the surprise that flashed across Ale’s features. 
“Hey, take a breath,” she began, trying to calm what she now realized was an impending argument.You were too annoyed to be calmed. Too annoyed by her hovering and her concern. Her never ending patience, her refusal to just get annoyed with you right back. You were overwhelmingly frustrated by the love she insisted on giving you, even during times you were sure you didn’t deserve it. 
With a huff, you stood up from the couch, and walked a few steps away. “No, Ale. I don’t want to go to the beach, and I don’t want to take a breath.” 
“Okay, then maybe we can talk-”
“I don’t want to talk, Alexia! Jesus christ. Could you stop hovering for two seconds? You are suffocating me.” You spat at her, feeling regret as soon as the words left your mouth. As soon as you saw her face go completely blank, and your girlfriend went from soft, comforting Ale, to captain Alexia, who had a poker face like no other. 
“I am sorry you feel that way, I am just trying to help.” 
“Stop trying! Stop helping, stop caring. It is too much, Alexia, it is infuriating. You are infuriating. If you want to go to the beach, go to the fucking beach. If you want to move out and stop dealing with me, go for it. I don’t care. I don’t care what you do, just leave me alone.” 
Alexia’s jaw clenched tightly, and you saw her take a few calming breaths. You hadn’t meant it, hadn't meant any of it, but you couldn’t understand why she wouldn't just yell back. You didn’t understand how she was looking at you with so much love and so much empathy when you didn’t deserve it. 
“I am going to go for a walk, and we can both calm down.” She said soothingly. 
“NO! We are having an argument, let’s have an argument Alexia. Don’t run away from it.” You snapped. 
Alexia shook her head. “I do not want to argue.” 
“Well I DO,” you shouted. “I can’t handle you treating me like I'm made of glass. Why won’t you yell at me? Why won’t you be mad at me and tell me I’m being ridiculous and sensitive and dramatic? Yell at me, swear at me, Ale, please. We both know I deserve it!” 
“No.” Alexia said firmly, taking a hesitant step in your direction, freezing when you moved away from her in response. “You do not deserve to be yelled at.”
“I was just so mean to you, Ale,” 
“Because you are hurting. And it is easier to be angry and to shout than to be sad. It is easier to push me away than it is to tell me what is going on in your head. I know how your mind works, mi amor. And I will not let you suffer by yourself because you think you deserve it.” 
She walked closer, and she looked so inviting. All you wanted was to collapse into the hug she was surely about to offer, bury your face in her sweatshirt and let her hold you. But you knew, you were sure, that you didn’t deserve that from her. Not right now. Maybe not ever again. 
“Stop,” you said weakly, though your feet refused to carry you farther away from the blonde approaching you. There was a sad smile on her face, and you felt like something inside of you was shattering at how perfect she was. She knew what you even needed when you didn’t know yourself. It wasn’t fair that she was so loving; you could never be deserving of it. 
“No,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around you, a bit relieved when you didn’t resist at all. You sank into the embrace, curling into her larger body. Your body shook with quiet sobs, that only grew louder as Alexia pressed a few kisses to the top of your head. “It’s okay, amor. Just let yourself feel.” 
How she knew that you’d been pushing your feelings away when you hadn’t even known was beyond you. 
Alexia didn’t let go until you pulled back, raising a hand to wipe your tears away. The blonde beat you to it, though, carefully brushing them away with her thumb, her touch so gentle you barely felt it. In that moment, her love for you was entirely overwhelming, and there was nothing you could do but accept it. Maybe you weren’t deserving, but Alexia clearly thought you were. Even after seeing the worst sides of you. 
“I didn’t mean anything I said.” You whispered. “I’m so sorry, Ale, you aren’t suffocating me, you are perfect and I love you. I love you so much.” 
“I know you did not mean it, amor, I forgive you.” She promised, leaving a gentle kiss on your lips. 
“I’m sorry.” You said again, the words mumbled against her lips. 
“I forgive you.” She repeated. Her brow crinkled as she studied you for a moment, a deep inhale before she spoke. “We do not have to go to the beach. But you are allowed to have fun, and feel joy. You are allowed to live, mi amor, even if Wesley isn’t. He would not want you to spend the rest of your life punishing yourself for something that was not your fault.” 
You reached up to lay your hand over where hers cradled your cheek. “You know me too well.” 
“No, I know you just right.” She murmured, once again bringing you into an overwhelmingly comforting hug. You buried her face in the crook of her neck, and wondered how it was possible for such an overwhelmingly perfect person to love you so much. 
And you went to the beach the next day. 
 ------
It was becoming easier for you to take time to yourself when you needed it. Maybe it was because you felt like the grief might build up and wash you away if you didn’t deal with it as it came, but regardless of the reason, you were trying to cope in a healthy way. 
Which was why, after a night of very little sleep and a morning that could only be described as the start of a very bad day, you’d told Alexia to go to training without you. It was unusual for you to take a day like this, and you supposed this was probably where Alexia’s anxiety stemmed from. You were exhausted, honestly, every part of you. Your brain and every muscle in your body ached for a break, and you decided to give in. Injury risk was always higher when someone was dealing with something like this, and you didn’t want to tempt fate.  Really, you just wanted some time to sleep some more, and maybe make a nice lunch for your girlfriend before she came home from training. 
She’d left you a bit reluctantly, offering at least 5 times to just stay home with you. You’d insisted, though, knowing that even if the club and your teammates wouldn’t care if Ale took the day with you, it would make you feel guilty. Even guiltier than you already felt.  
Everything would have been fine, if you hadn’t gotten so carried away cooking Alexia’s favorite lunch that you forgot to check your phone. After waking up from a nap, you’d barely glanced at it before heading into the kitchen to cook what you’d been planning on cooking. 
Leaving your phone behind on your nightstand. Unaware that Alexia was beginning to panic, as you hadn’t responded to any of her texts. She’d been gone only a few hours, but her worry for you seemed to know no bounds, and before long, she’d convinced herself that you weren’t responding because something terrible had happened. 
She could see it in her mind, what she’d find when she got home. She cried the whole drive from the training grounds to your shared home, more terrified than she’d ever been in her life. Alexia couldn’t lose you. And this simple miscommunication easily convinced her that she already had. 
“AMOR?” Alexia shouted, smashing the door back into the wall as she burst into the house. “MI AMOR?” She began to rush into the house, stopping in her tracks when you appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. 
“Ale? What’s wrong?” You asked, more than startled by the state your girlfriend was in. Alexia was breathing hard, her face was flushed, and she looked completely panicked. Still in her training kit, hair in a ponytail that was falling out, she looked so far from her usual put together self. Within a second, she was crossing through the living room and yanking you into a bone crushing hug.
“You are okay.” She choked out, holding you so tight to her it was almost painful. Putting your confusion aside for a moment, you nodded into her neck, entangling your hand with her hair. 
“I’m okay, baby. I’m fine.” You assured her. She leaned back after a minute, placing both her hands on your cheeks and looking down at you, her eyes overflowing with tears. “Ale, what is it?” 
“You are okay?” She murmured again, her eyes scanning over every inch of you. 
“I’m fine. What is-”
Your sentence was cut off by Alexia pressing a fierce kiss to your lips. Sinking into the kiss, you felt her tears dripping onto your cheeks, before she pulled away to try to stifle a sob. This time, it was you who leaned back, shushing her softly. “Tell me what’s happening, you’re scaring me.” 
Alexia let out a humorless laugh. “I am scaring you? Why did you not answer your phone all day? Not my calls, not my texts. You- you just did not answer, and I was so scared and I thought-” Alexia stepped away from you, pressing hard at her eyes with her hands, as if that would stop the tears. “You have to answer the phone. You have to. I cannot lose you, mi amor, I need you-” 
The pieces clicked together in your mind, and you deflated, guilty flooding your body. “Oh, Ale.” You sighed, pulling her back into a hug. This time, her grip was weak as she trembled against you, crying quietly. “I’m okay. I'm so sorry, baby. I’m okay.” 
Alexia held you and cried for a concerning amount of time. You’d really never seen her like this before, completely distraught. You got to see glimpses of Alexia’s vulnerability, normally.  A tear here and there. The occasional whispered insecurity when you laid in her arms at night.  As time passed, more and more glimpses, but glimpses all the same. 
This was more than Alexia had ever allowed you to see though, and you made sure to be just as comforting to her as she was to you when you were upset. You held tight to her, only leaning back to cup her face in your hands once she had stopped crying for the most part. You’d never felt so guilty for missing a phone call in your life. 
“Why- why did you not answer?” Alexia asked after a minute, wiping impatiently at her tears. You continued to stroke her cheek gently, recognizing that she wasn’t going to let go of you anytime soon. 
“I slept for a while, and then I was making you lunch. I left my phone in the bedroom, Ale, I’m so sorry I scared you.” 
“I thought…” she trailed off, the unspoken words hanging between the two of you until you hauled her back into you with a surprising amount of strength. 
“I’m not going anywhere, Ale.” 
“You promise me?” Her words were muffled by your hair, but you could feel that she wasn’t even really asking; she was begging. 
“I promise.” You meant it. There was no force, in heaven or on earth, that would take you away from her. If love for your girlfriend was all you had, you wouldn’t need anything else. 
She held you tighter to her, as if she was just making sure you didn’t go anywhere. You’d never felt so wanted in your life. 
------
It always weighed on her more, on the anniversary. Losing her father had left its scars on her, and they made themselves known some days more than others. Today was always one of those days. 
In years past, she’d take the day off from training and spend it with her family. It was maybe the one day of the year that Alexia allowed herself the grace to be imperfect, or so she perceived herself. Today, she let herself be a girl who really just missed her Papi. And when she became this vulnerable, there were few people she was comfortable being around. 
Really, it was just two people. Alba, and her Mami. More recently, you were on that list, too. 
The two of you had been together for two and a half years. The first year, Alexia had just…. Ghosted you the whole day, not sure how to let you into this part of herself she kept so securely locked away. Last year, you’d slept over and spent the morning with your girlfriend before she went off to see her family. You’d met them at that point, but Alexia wasn’t ready to bring you to something so… private. 
The last year had been a difficult one, and not just for you. Alexia was just getting back onto the pitch, getting back to herself, when your brother had died, and that sent everything back into a tailspin. Your girlfriend was so worried about you, all the time, that she’d almost missed the date. She would have, if her sister hadn’t texted her and asked what her plans were. 
It had only been a few weeks, and though you were doing better, Alexia wouldn’t feel right leaving you on your own, and she didn’t want to bring you into a situation that would remind you of what you were going through. Alexia decided that this year, she’d remember her Papi by doing what she was sure he would have done in her situation; making sure her partner knew how loved she was. Her father always looked after everyone, and Alexia had taken on that burden long ago. She’d sacrifice this one day of grief she allowed herself, if it meant you were even marginally happier. 
Alexia told her mother and her sister her plans to stick with you for the day, since it was a day off, and they’d both understood completely. Days off in the past couple weeks had consisted of a lot of sleep. Your mind was exhausted, and both of you were drained from the intense training and match schedule the team was sticking too. You spent most of the day asleep, preferably on or snuggled up against Alexia, and she was content to make sure you caught up on the sleep she knew you were losing. Your girlfriend had no reason to think that this day off would be any different. 
How absurd of her, though, really. To think that you wouldn’t know the significance of the day, wouldn’t acknowledge it. Though Alexia always treated you as if you were the most important person in the world, she hesitated to accept the same treatment. She didn’t think she was deserving of it, and that was something you vehemently disagreed with. She was the most important person in your world. Alexia should have known you wouldn’t allow her to put you first. Not today. 
------
Alexia woke up feeling heavy. Like her body knew the significance of the day. This was perhaps why she didn’t notice that you weren’t in bed next to her. Not until she reached over to hold your hand, thinking that while you were still asleep, at least, she could allow herself to hurt, but found only soft sheets. 
She got out of bed to look for you almost immediately. Because she wanted to make sure you were okay, and also because she very much wasn’t. And she desperately craved a hug from you. The delicious smell coming from the kitchen alerted her to your location, and she padded softly down the hall towards you. 
She moved silently, as she always did, pausing to watch you, because the sight in front of her was making her heart melt. You were standing at the counter, carefully plating some warm pastries. She recognized them as her mother’s recipe. They were some of her favorites from her childhood, and she was almost instantly overcome with emotion at the thought of you asking Eli for the recipe. You were humming quietly, looking more yourself than you had in a while. 
All of this, combined, seemed to be too much for your girlfriend, because when you saw her out of the corner of your eye, turning to smile at her, she already had tears in her eyes. 
Your smile turned sympathetic, and you abandoned your spatula and the pastries to walk over to her. You didn’t hug her right away, instead, you placed your hands on her cheeks and wiped away the few tears that had escaped. 
“Hi my Ale,” you whispered, guiding her face down and standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss to her forehead. No sooner had you done that, than she was pulling you into her arms around you and lifting you up. You wrapped all your limbs around her like a koala, inhaling the comforting smell of her shampoo. 
“What did you do all this for?” She asked, voice muffled by your shoulder. Maybe you were just in a good mood. Maybe you hadn’t remembered. She wasn’t sure if she wanted you to remember or not, honestly. If you did, she’d have to allow herself to feel. And if you didn’t, repressing those feelings would probably be just as difficult. 
You pressed a soft kiss to her neck. “Did you think I wouldn’t remember what today is?” 
Alexia put you down, though she kept you pressed close to her. Her face was conflicted, but you were acutely aware of the sadness in her eyes. She shrugged. “You have had a lot going on, I did not want to take away from-”
“Your feelings do not take away from mine. Today is hard for you, I know that, and I want to do whatever I can to make it a little easier. Yeah?” 
“You do not have to,”
“Alexia, we are not pretending that today isn’t happening. You deserve to remember your Papi, and be as sad as you need to. Understand?” 
“I love you.” She murmured, her voice breaking. “Thank you.” 
“You don’t need to thank me,” you told her, something she’d been repeating for the past couple weeks. “Today is your day. We can do whatever you feel like doing, vale?” 
“Stay here. With you. Lay. Do nothing.” Alexia grumbled, sounding almost like a caveman. You smiled gently, nodding along with her requests. She could have asked you to cartwheel around the yard for hours on end, and you probably would have said yes. 
“Eli and Alba are picking you up at 7, though, and you’re going to go visit your papi.” 
Alexia’s tiny smile faltered. “Picking… me up? Just me?” 
You looked suddenly unsure, the previous confidence you’d had completely gone at her question. Had you done something wrong? “I don't want to intrude on your family time, Ale-”
“You are my family, and I want you there. I… I need you there. Por favor.” She requested, bringing her forehead down to press into yours. 
“Of course, baby. Whatever you need.” As if you’d ever refuse her. 
It only really hit you hours later, what she’d said. You are my family. It felt… right. It felt true, like it fit. When you were with Ale’s family, the gaping hole that your parents and your siblings had left after your last meeting didn’t feel so empty. 
Healing was a funny thing, and you were pretty sure that the loss of your brother wasn’t something that you could ever really, completely heal from. But as you sat at dinner with Eli, Alba, and Alexia, you saw joy in them. Joy they had evidently recovered in the years since their loss. It gave you hope. That maybe everything would be okay, maybe you could feel like yourself again. 
Eli and Alba were laughing to each other at some ridiculous story from when Alexia first began to drive, and your girlfriend was blushing slightly, though she was smiling a bit. You leaned into her, resting your head on her shoulder. 
“Thanks for bringing me.” You whispered. You turned to look up at her, and you knew Alba was just seconds away from making fun of Alexia’s heart eyes, the ones she always seemed to have when she gazed at you. 
Alexia didn’t care that she was about to be teased, though. ‘Thanks for coming.” She whispered back, leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek. 
Alba laid into her then, and Ale shook her head, wrapping her arm around your shoulders and pulling you into her. Alba could make fun. Alexia was too busy thinking about how desperately she wanted to really make you a part of her family to care very much about her younger sister’s teasing.
You kept calling her perfect. As she watched you tease Alba right back, this time about how she’d shown up to brunch a few weeks ago with hickeys all over her neck, looking like she’d been out with a vampire, you said, Alexia knew the truth. If she was perfect, it was because loving you made her so. 
------
haven't really been feeling like myself recently, and i wasn't entirely sure i wanted to write tonight but i gave it a shot and it didn't feel like ripping my teeth out with pliers. so a win is a win, hey?
i think i like this. i think.
hope you all enjoy 🥰🫶🏻 appreciate everyone being kind and patient <3 love to you all
tell me if you find typos okay thanks bye i love you
499 notes · View notes
roosterforme · 3 days
Text
Mr. Right Now Part 2 | Hangman x Reader
Summary: As soon as you decide that Jake is the one you want for your first time, he's very clear that you'll be playing by his rules. You're ready to get this over with and get on with your life, but he's determined to make you admit that you're allowed to feel good. And maybe you want to enjoy this with him.
Warnings: adult language, mentions of sex and virginity, sexual touching, 18+
Length: 3800 words
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader
Why is Jake on my masterlist!? Mr. Right Now masterlist
Tumblr media
"Jake," you whispered as his soft hair glided through your fingers. You liked his name. He was handsome. He was older. His lips tasted delicious. He had green eyes.
Why had you been so focused on Rooster? Oh, right. Because your roommate, Kylie, said he was good after she slept with him. She told you all about the Navy bar and the different guys with call signs, and you made it a point to remember that Rooster was the one who she said was the gentlest. 
You froze. Jake had his hands around your waist, his hips pressing his semi hard length against you. Those pretty green eyes were locked onto yours, and you knew it would be a long shot to get him to agree, even now. But something else was bothering you about this whole scenario. You suddenly wondered if Kylie and Jake ever had sex.
For some reason, that idea alone was enough to piss you off. Going blindly after Rooster would have been no big deal, but Jake seemed to actually give a shit about you. He just took the time to make sure you were really twenty, and he kept questioning you as to why you were here in the first place. In this bar where you apparently stuck out like a sore thumb.
But you wanted Jake specifically for your first time, whether he had already fucked Kylie or not. You leaned in and kissed him again, and he seemed more than willing now. You hoped your little skirt and tight shirt weren't going to fail you after you made it this far. He just needed to take care of this one, basic thing for you, and you'd be on your way. Then you could go out with Cooper who you were actually so ready to date, and you wouldn't completely embarrass yourself with him.
You let yourself touch Jake's hair again as you asked, "What's your call sign?"
His hand felt huge against your butt, and you went willingly when he pulled you even closer. "Hangman," he said in that cute Texan drawl. That didn't sound familiar at all, and Kylie was pretty proud of all the call signs she'd managed to collect. Maybe she hadn't gotten to him yet. Or maybe she wasn't his type. That thought alone made you smile even more as he continued to touch you.
"Okay, Hangman," you whispered against his mouth in the middle of this crowded bar. "I'm ready for you to take me to your place."
He kissed you gently and shook his head. "Let's go out to my truck, and I'll drive you back to your apartment or dorm."
God, he was such a good kisser, but he was really grating on your nerves at this point. You were a little nervous that he would keep saying no and then ruin your chances with Rooster or one of the other guys in attendance tonight, even though they would be clear backup options now. You whined in annoyance. "Come on, Jake."
"No. I'm not taking you home with me," he replied firmly. 
You stomped your foot; you really wanted to lose your damn virginity, and you couldn't give it away. "You don't even have to take me back to your place. We can fuck in the parking lot."
"Jesus Christ, Darlin'. That's not happening either," he said, looking scandalized. "Definitely not for your first time. And a leather mini skirt is an impractical outfit to get fucked in anyway."
You tipped your head back and groaned. "Well how was I supposed to know that?" Then you looked at his handsome face, pretty much ready to call it a night and try again tomorrow at a different bar. "I'm doing everything wrong."
He had the nerve to laugh at you again. "No. You're really not. The skirt is just going to make guys want to work harder for it. And honestly, somehow the sneakers are doing something for me?"
A small glimmer of hope flashed inside you as you ran your fingers along his stubbled cheek. "Yeah?"
"God. Damn. It." He was practically growling now as he started to haul you toward the exit. "If we're doing this, then we're doing it right."
"Okay!" you replied immediately, not really sure what you were agreeing to as he led you outside to the dark deck, letting the door close behind the two of you. The loud interior of the bar was a thing of the past now as he took your chin between his thumb and fingers and kissed you a little rough with the ocean as the new soundtrack. 
You almost dropped your purse as you tried to wrap your arms around his neck, already wanting more of him. "If you really want to do this," he said between kisses, "then you're playing by my rules." You were practically whimpering as his lips found the side of your neck, because why did his words sound so sexy?
"Absolutely," you whispered. "Jake's rules."
He half carried you out to the dimly lit parking lot as he muttered, "This is a terrible idea." He squinted at your face and added, "You seem like the type who never learns her lesson."
"I resent that," you said, running your lips along his ear even as your feet left the ground. "I have a 4.0 GPA. I always learn my lessons."
He grunted as he helped you into what you assumed was his truck before standing outside the door with his hands on his hips. "Like I said, you're a real smartass. Now listen up. I'm going to be as gentlemanly as I possibly can during this whole thing."
"Whole thing?" you asked, wondering what he could possibly mean. He just needed to get completely hard, shove his cock in you for a little while, and then call it a night.
"Yeah," he grunted, his green eyes a little wild in the glow from the truck's dome lights. "I'm going to make sure you come. I'm going to be as sweet as I can be. But you need to be clear if you're not having a good time, or if you want me to stop. If you can't abide by those basic ground rules, we're absolutely done here."
Oh. He was really taking this seriously. You chewed on your lip, and his face became more apprehensive. But you weren't debating with yourself whether or not his ground rules would work for you. You were actually trying to figure out why he was already being better than anything you anticipated tonight. Anticipated ever.
"Oh, my god," you gasped. "Are you married?"
"What the fuck kind of question is that?" he shouted, looking angry now. "Of course I'm not married!"
You reached out to him and grabbed his hand. "Sorry! It's just that you're sweet, and you seem to be taking this really seriously! I was just checking!"
Jake scowled, and his tone was one akin to hurt. "I'm not letting you make yourself believe that all you deserve for your first time is a careless fuck in a bar bathroom or a parking lot, and I'm certainly not letting one of those drunk assholes maul you apart!"
The more you thought about it, you really didn't want to be manhandled or have to pull your skirt up in a bathroom stall to make the best of things tonight. You squeezed his hand which you were still holding as you softly said, "Thank you."
He ran his free fingers through his soft hair and muttered something that sounded like, "Yeah, don't thank me yet." Then he kissed your lips and said, "Buckle your seatbelt," before he let go of your hand and closed the door. 
-------------------------
You were pretty quiet on the drive back to Jake's place, but you didn't seem as nervous now. If anything, he thought his nerves were ramping up while yours were calming down. He couldn't remember how many condoms he had left in his bedside drawer, and when he tried to estimate how many he might use tonight, he almost missed his turn. Was he really going to do this?
"You live by the beach," you remarked, playing with the hem of your tiny skirt while you looked out the window.
"I do," he replied, mentally cancelling his morning run if you were going to stay over. The implications of letting you spend the night were creeping up on him, but kicking you out was absolutely not going to be an option. You likely had the entirety of the rest of your life to be disappointed by men, but he wasn't going to set that precedent. 
"How old did you say you were?"
Jake felt a little dirty now when he said, "I didn't. But I'm thirty." He tapped the brakes when he was about a block from his house. His truck already smelled sweet like your perfume or shampoo, and he glanced at you when he turned onto his street. "Let me take you back to your place."
You laughed softly as you leaned a little closer to him. "Negative, Hangman. I have a twin bed and a nosy roommate. I think we're better off doing this at yours."
"Come on, Darlin'. That's not what I meant, and you know it."
He coasted up to the stop sign on the quiet side street; he could see his little, white cottage on the next block, but he turned to look at your face in profile as you crossed your arms over your chest. You were looking straight ahead, chin proudly held high as you said, "If you really don't want to have sex with me, then turn right and head back toward Pomona Avenue."
It wasn't that he didn't want to. You were all pouty lips and feminine curves and perky tits, and yeah... he did want to fuck you. And he wanted to make it so good, you'd ask for more. He wanted to take his time and pull that first orgasm from you while he gave it to you exactly how you needed it. When he didn't turn his truck back toward Pomona, you looked at him and whispered, "It's okay if you're not into it, Jake. You can take me home. You don't have to worry about me."
He made a noise at the back of his throat and licked his lips. "That's not it." He wanted to say more, but for now, he answered your concerns by moving his foot to the accelerator and driving straight through the intersection. You visibly relaxed in the seat next to him, and a few seconds later, he was pulling his truck up to his house. You were looking out the window toward his cottage, and when you reached for the door handle, he let his hand rest on your bare knee. You turned his way immediately, and he said, "You never agreed to play by my rules."
"I agree."
He shook his head. "Then tell me what my ground rules were."
You bit your bottom lip, and he could feel you squeeze your legs together as you whispered, "You said you'd make sure I come. And that you would be sweet. And that if I tell you I'm not having a good time, you'll stop." Jake let his hand slide a few inches higher, and you responded by easing your legs apart and telling him, "I agree with the ground rules."
Jake nodded once and said, "Looks like I'm stuck with you now."
You kissed him. Somehow you caught him off guard every time you did it. You were tentative and inquisitive, and when you moved closer, his hand eased up your thigh. "You're stuck with me," you murmured between kisses. "For probably at least a half an hour." Jake started laughing, and you pulled away slightly. "What's funny?"
"Darlin', you're playing by my rules. You want me to teach you about sex? Half an hour isn't even going to be enough to get you warmed up."
You looked surprised as you reached up to run your fingers through his hair. "Teach me about sex? I thought you were just going to fuck me and call it a night."
Jake moaned. "Definitely not. Now let's get started."
--------------------------
You found yourself in Jake's living room, eyes darting around, trying to figure out what to focus on first. He was an actual adult with award commendations from the Navy and a massive TV. You felt small in his space, and some of your bravado melted away as he chuckled and said, "I'd offer you a drink, but, you know."
You tapped the toe of your sneaker against the hardwood floor and said, "According to my ID, I'm the same age as you. I like white wine, thanks."
He was trying not to laugh as he walked into his kitchen, and you followed along behind him, watching as he reached for a wine glass and filled it with ice water. "Enjoy your chardonnay, Darlin'," he drawled, and now you were also trying not to laugh.
"Thanks," you whispered before taking a sip. You tried to set your purse on the counter, but the clasp caught the edge, and both of your IDs came sliding out along with a strip of three condoms. When Jake met your eyes you said, "I made sure I was prepared before I left my place. I'm young, not stupid."
"But the Hard Deck?" he asked, closing the distance between your bodies. "Not your smartest move, parading around in there with a fake and some condoms. The guys that hang out there wouldn't know their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to making sure a woman enjoys herself."
"You hang out there," you told him with a little eye roll, and his fingers came up under your chin. He tilted your face up until you were staring into his pretty green eyes, and your core clenched with need.
"I don't make promises I can't keep," he told you, and you absolutely believed him. "Now, you said you're a virgin, but why don't you go ahead and tell me how experienced you are."
You swallowed hard, chin still held in place by those rough fingers. "Is that really necessary? I'm ready to go, Jake." You set your glass of water on the counter next to the condoms and reached out to touch his solid abs through his shirt.
"There's a little more to it than that," he told you, stroking your jaw with his thumb. "Let's talk and get to know each other a bit."
The last thing you wanted him to know about was your complete lack of experience with guys. "We don't have to do that." 
"Yeah, well I want to," he told you, finally releasing your chin.
"You're very old fashioned," you said with a smirk, and your hands settled on his belt.
"I'm a lot older than you, smartass. Humor me." Instead of responding with anything about yourself, you held eye contact with him while you yanked the end of his belt free from the belt loops and started to unbuckle it. A smile danced along his lips, and he said, "Fine. I'll start. I'm a Lieutenant in the Navy. I grew up in Texas, but I've lived all over the country. My favorite food is chili. I love running on the beach in the morning before it gets too hot out. I have four sisters. And I'm a Scorpio."
You had the button of his jeans undone, and you were easing his zipper down as you said, "You do seem like a Scorpio, Lieutenant Jake." His green eyes were still on yours as you officially went further than you ever had with a guy by letting your fingers run along his impressive length through his underwear. He licked his lips as you reached the tip and then dipped your hand inside his snug boxer briefs. He was warm and velvety soft while also getting harder by the second, and you gasped at the look in his eyes. "Does this feel good?" you asked softly as his pupils widened.
He nodded once, and his voice sounded raspier as he told you, "Yes."
"Good," you mused out loud, unable to contain your smirk as Jake grunted softly. "If you like it, then the guy from my physics class who I want to go out with will probably like it, too."
Suddenly, Jake's hand was on your wrist in an iron-tight grasp, preventing you from stroking him. "What?" you gasped, his hand tightening incrementally as something dangerous flashed in his eyes.
"Lesson number one. When you're with a guy, and you have your hand wrapped around his cock, you shouldn't be talking about a different guy."
You pouted up at him and said, "I already told you earlier that part of the reason I wanted to lose my virginity was so it would feel good when I get with Cooper."
"And I'm telling you right now that you're done talking about him," he grunted. "Got it?"
A chill of delight ran up your spine as you whispered, "Yes. Understood."
His grasp on your wrist released immediately, and he leaned in, kissing you softly one time. "That's just a surefire way to get a guy jealous," he informed you, and another little chill ran through your body as you considered that maybe you just made him a little jealous. 
When you ran your hand along his length again, his lips were back on yours immediately, and he moved you so your leather covered butt was pressed against the edge of his countertop. Then he took your hips in both of his big hands, and you whimpered into his mouth. He teased you, pulling away slightly just so you'd chase him for more. He was throbbing against your palm as your other hand found his hair once again. 
He was sexy. Even the rough stubble on his face felt delicious as it rubbed your chin and cheeks. Then, just as his lips started to migrate along your jaw, he carefully reached for your wrist again, withdrawing your hand from his jeans. "Yes, it feels good, but this isn't about me, Darlin'."
When his lips skimmed down your neck before settling on your pulse point, you whimpered his name. Then he sucked gently on you there while he toyed with the zipper at the side of your mini skirt. He was big and strong, and he smelled good, and as he worked your zipper down, inch by painstaking inch, you shifted so you were rubbing against him.
As soon as his fingers dipped inside the elastic of your underwear, it felt like you were clenching around nothing. Usually you had to use your fingers for a while to get that kind of result, but he hadn't even touched you there yet. Then you realized you were wet. Really wet from his lips and his touch. Your thong felt damp against your skin as your skirt started to slide down your hips, and your voice was a little too loud as you gasped and said, "Okay, I'm ready. I'm definitely ready. Let's do it. Where's your bedroom?"
Jake's lips released your neck. He brought his mouth up to your ear and told you, "Absolutely not. Not yet."
Your skirt slipped a few more inches as Jake ran his nose along the shell of your ear. "God. Do you need me to ask nicely or something? Please?"
"You're playing by my rules. Did you forget? We're not rushing through this." Your skirt dropped to the floor at your feet as Jake pulled away and looked at your face. "Unless you're not having a good time, Darlin'. Say the words, and I'll stop."
You had no control of your body as your head tipped back, a low moan escaping as you said, "I don't want you to stop." You panted as you rubbed your wet panties against the open fly of his jeans. "It feels so good. But I want more."
Jake's hand found the back of your head, tilting it forward until you were looking at him again. "What do you want me to do to you?" he asked as one of his calloused fingers played with the lace trim along the top of your underwear.
"I want you to fuck me," you whispered with a moan, nodding your head as he smirked at you. 
"Really, pretty girl? You sure that's it? Because it sounds more like you want me to make you feel good." His fingers stroked up to your belly button and back down again as you bucked against him. "I think you know by this point in our conversation that you're allowed to enjoy this. And I can tell that's what you really want." 
"What could possibly feel better than getting fucked?" you asked in desperation. "I want you to fuck me!"
"No, you don't," he whispered, voice harsh and needy. He kissed you hard on the mouth two times before adding, "You want me to make you feel better than you've ever felt before. You want me to touch you with more skill than you can touch yourself. And none of that has to do with me fucking you. Tell me I'm wrong."
You bit down on your lip as his hand reached around to your butt, and suddenly you knew for sure it wouldn't have been like this with Rooster or any of the other guys at the bar. They would have fucked you and unloaded into one of the three condoms by now. Maybe you wouldn't have even gotten wet for them. You'd probably be back at your place in bed, planning on seeing Cooper on Monday morning with a new outlook on life. But it wouldn't have been like this.
Jake wanted more than that for your first time, and now you were starting to see that you could have more as his rough fingers kneaded into you. If you were already about to come just from rubbing yourself on him, then playing by his rules and letting him take his time was sounding better by the second.
You took a deep breath, let your lips brush against his and told him, "I want you to make me feel good."
"That's more like it, Darlin'," he crooned. "I'll take care of you."
----------------------------
Jake is about to show you that he's a man of his word. He keeps his promises, and he's already made some to you. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
@blahehblah
@sotalife
@desert-fern
@furiouspiespytaco
@rosiahills22
@daggerspare-standingby
@je-suis-prest-rachel
@callsign-joyride
@theharddeck
@withakindheartx
@roosterscockpit
@whatislovevavy
@hangmanbrainrot
@neferpatra
@sehnsuchts-trunken
@averyhotchner
@thedroneranger
@cherrycola27
@mygyn
@hoyaharper
@gennyanydots
@callsign-magnolia
@whisperofsong
@seriouslyseresin
@hotch-meeeeeuppppp
@katiebby04
@supernaturaldawning
@chassy21
@tylerjones98
@captainjaspenor
@gigisimsonmars
@fanboyswhore9
@angel-w0nderland
@abaker74
@idontcare-11
@isaebella
@bringnattolife
@xoxabs88xox
@djs8891
@hufflepufftruffle
@cottagecori
@lex-winchester
@schoollover
@wolfquake23
@paintlavillered
@blue-aconite
@mrsevans90
438 notes · View notes
haitiangirl4life · 2 days
Note
Jude x older!reader where she has a kid and the kid is jude's biggest fan and makes her go to a fan signing where jude meets her and falls in love. Maybe more domestic with him spending time with the kid too 🫠🫠🫠.
Thanks love 💃
Purple
Masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Your son is in love with Jude Bellingham and so are you.
𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Jude Bellingham x you
𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 3.9k
Warnings! FLUFF, cute kid, domestic fluff, sweetness,
A mother's love knows no bounds.
Which is exactly why you're standing outside the real Madrid stadium in the freezing cold with your energetic toddler practically vibrating from excitement.
You were here to attend a meet and greet that your son had been begging you for weeks to take him to.
And you didn't want to disappoint him, so you made sure to clear your schedule and make time for him.
You were up all night last night working on a project, and then you were up again at 6am so you could make Leo a nice breakfast before taking him to the stadium. You were tired, but seeing Leo so happy made it all worth it.
You look over at your son, who was clutching his soccer ball and jersey to his chest as he bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet. His eyes were shining with pure joy, and he was practically bouncing. He looked so cute like this. You hope he never grows up.
“Mommy, look!” Leo squealed, running to your side. You smiled as you took a moment to scan the crowd. The stadium was packed with fans all dressed in Real Madrid gear, all there to see Jude.
He was one of the team's most popular players and Leo's absolute favorite. The walls of his room were plastered with Jude posters, and he could recite Jude's entire history with the team from memory. You'd known he would be over the moon to get the chance to actually meet Jude.
“Look where?” You ask, scanning the crowd.
“At Jude,” Leo said, pointing to a man who was standing by a table, signing autographs. He was tall, probably around six two, and broad-shouldered, with dark skin and soft brown eyes. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a men's magazine. And you would be lying if you said you didn't feel a little flutter in your chest.
But you were here for Leo, not to flirt with a soccer player, so you put aside your feelings and followed your son through the crowd.
Jude was wearing the Real Madrid uniform, and he was grinning broadly as he laughed with some of the other fans around him. He looked up then and met your eye for a moment, and you felt a little thrill run through your body. He really was even more handsome up close.
But then, he looked away and focused on the next person in line.
“He’s coming this way,” Leo whispered, eyes glued to Jude. Sure enough, the star was making his way through the crowd, stopping to sign autographs and shake hands along the way.
“Mommy, I don’t know what to do,” Leo said, turning to you with wide eyes.
“Just go up to him, and ask him to sign your jersey,” You said, smoothing out his shirt and running your hand through his hair. “I’ll be right here behind you.”
“Okay,” Leo whimpered. He's always been a shy kid, and you knew he was nervous about meeting Jude. But you also knew that this would mean the world to him. So you grabbed his little hand and started to walk over with him.
Jude was shaking hands and chatting with the fans, so you just stood behind Leo until he was ready. It took him a few minutes, but eventually he worked up the nerve to tug on Jude's shirt.
“Hi,” Leo said quietly. He was still clutching his jersey and soccer ball in one hand, and you could tell he was trembling. Jude turned around and looked down at him, his eyes softening with concern when he saw your son’s nervous face.
“Hey there, buddy,” Jude said, dropping into a crouch beside Leo. He rested a big hand on your son's shoulder, and you noticed that his thumb was brushing against your son's neck in a soothing motion.
“I’m Jude.” He said with a smile.
“I’m Leo,” Leo replied, looking up at Jude in awe.
“What can I do for you?” Jude asked. Leo glanced over at you for a moment, then back at Jude.
“Will you sign this for me?” He asked, holding out his jersey. Jude nodded and took the jersey from your son.
“How about I sign both this and your soccer ball?” He asked. Leo nodded eagerly and Jude grinned. He signed both items, then handed them back to Leo.
“You’re so cool,” Leo said quietly.
“Thanks,” Jude said, ruffling your son's hair. “I think you're pretty cool too.” He said with a grin. Your son beamed at his words, not believing that his favorite football player thought he was cool.
“Thank you,” Leo said, clutching his signed jersey to his chest. You could already tell it was going to be his new favorite thing.
“You’re welcome,” Jude replied. He looked over at you then, and you could feel his eyes on you. You looked back at him, and there was a moment. You both knew it. He held your gaze for a moment, his eyes softening as he took in your features. You could see him drinking you in, and it felt like he could see your soul. You held his gaze for a few seconds, and then Leo was tugging on your hand.
"And who might this be?" Jude asked, turning his attention back to your son. He had a soft, warm voice that sounded like it belonged in a jazz club.
"This is my mommy," Leo said, gesturing to you. You could feel your cheeks heating as Jude's eyes returned to your face.
"Hi," You said, smiling at him.
"Hi," Jude replied, stepping closer. He was even more handsome now that he was closer. His dark skin was flawless, and you could see the definition in his muscles even under his uniform. He was a big guy, easily over six feet tall, and you felt tiny compared to him. You could see the sharp angle of his jawline, and his soft lips looked like they would be perfect for kissing.
"Are you enjoying the signing?" He asked, looking down at you with warm eyes.
"Yeah," You said, smiling back at him. "My son loves you."
You heard Leo giggle then, and you looked down to see him grinning at you.
"Can I have a hug?" Leo asked, looking up at Jude with pleading eyes. Jude's expression softened, and he kneeled back down and held out his arms.
"Of course," He said, opening his arms to your son. Leo squealed with delight, handing you his jersey and soccer ball and wrapping his arms around Jude's neck. Jude hugged him back, picking him up off the ground and swinging him in a circle. You watched them, feeling your heart swell with pride and happiness. Leo had been begging you for weeks to take him to this signing, and you knew he would remember this moment forever. You could already tell he was going to cherish this memory.
"Thank you," You said, smiling at Jude as he set your son back down on his feet.
"No problem," Jude said, smiling back. He glanced down at you, his eyes roving over your body before meeting your eyes again. You felt a little thrill run through your body at his gaze.
"Do you have a jersey?" Jude asked, holding out a pen.
"I'm just here for my son," You replied, gesturing to Leo, who was now lost in his own little world. Your sign that he was ready to go home.
"Here," Jude said, grabbing a jersey from the stack on his table. "Take this one."
"Are you sure?" You asked, feeling giddy at the thought of him giving you something.
"Yeah," Jude said, scribbling on the front of the jersey. You watched as he wrote "For Leo's mommy" in bold letters, then handed the jersey back to you, his hand brushing against yours as you took it from him.
"Thanks," You said, feeling your cheeks heat at his touch.
"You're welcome," Jude replied, smiling at you. He was still holding your gaze, and you could feel the air around you start to thicken. There was something about him that made you want to get closer, and you had to force yourself not to lean towards him.
"I better go," You said, glancing down at Leo. He was still playing with his jersey, and you knew he was ready to go home.
"Yeah," Jude said, nodding. He glanced over at Leo, a soft expression on his face. "It was nice to meet you both."
"You too," You replied, forcing yourself not to meet his gaze. You didn't want to get stuck in those warm brown eyes again, or you knew you would never leave.
"Bye," Jude said, holding out a hand to your son. Leo ran over and gave Jude a quick high five, then took your hand and tugged you towards the exit. You waved at Jude, who was watching you with a warm smile, before you walked out of the stadium.
That was a year ago and so much had changed since then.
Jude had written his phone number on that jersey and the rest was history. At first you had been very scared to be with him. I gnoring his attempts at flirty text messages and calls. You were older than him and you had a son. You weren't sure if he was ready for all of that.
But he had been persistent.
Jude would text you every day, leaving you flirty messages. He would also call you every night before you went to bed. He told you stories about his games and he would listen to you talk about your son.
After a few weeks, you finally agreed to meet up with him for a date. You were nervous, but as soon as Jude arrived at your doorstep, you felt at ease. You talked all night, sharing stories and laughing together. It was one of the best nights of your life.
After that date, there was no going back. You had fallen in love with Jude, and he loved you too. Both of you.
Introducing to Leo that Jude was your boyfriend had been easy. He already thought Jude was the coolest person alive, and he was excited to have him in your life. However, getting him used to you guys dating was tough. Especially with your ex-husband in the picture.
Leo was still stuck on the idea of you guys getting back together , so it took some time for him to fully accept Jude as your new partner. He was used to having you all to himself, and the introduction of a new person, even someone he admired as much as Jude, was a big adjustment.
But eventually everything worked out, and they have become the best of friends.
Now you guys were all living in the same house.
You woke up with a smile on your face.
You could feel a heavy arm slung over your waist, and a big warm body spooned against your back. You felt a warm breath on your neck, and a gentle hand stroking your hip. You could hear the deep hum of your lover's voice singing softly in your ear. It was your favorite song. He only sang it to you.
You rolled over in his arms, burying your face in his chest. He smelled like your body wash and soap, and you could feel his morning wood digging into your thigh. You smiled as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you.
“Good morning, baby,” You murmured, rubbing your hands up and down his chest.
“Morning, love,” Jude replied, leaning in to kiss you. His lips were soft and warm, and you felt a little thrill as you kissed him back. He was so sweet to you. He always made sure you were happy and comfortable.
You were just getting into the kiss when you heard your son's voice. You pulled away and looked up to see Leo standing in your doorway, rubbing his eyes.
“Morning,” You said, smiling at him. He smiled back and skipped over to your bed, crawling up to snuggle between you.
“Good morning, buddy,” Jude said, pulling him in for a hug. Leo squealed happily and wrapped his arms around your lover's neck.
“I had the best dream ever!” Leo said, leaning back to look at you and Jude. “I dreamt that you guys were my mommy and daddy!”
You heard Jude suck in a breath, and you looked up at him to see a look of shock on his face. You knew he had been wanting this for a while, so you didn't want him to get too hopeful.
“That's a nice dream,” You said, smiling at your son. He nodded happily and leaned back into Jude's chest.
“Can we play today?” He asked, looking up at Jude with pleading eyes. Oh boy here we go, you think. If there was one thing Jude could never say no to it was Leo. And Leo knew it. And he always used it to his advantage. He was a sneaky little brat and he always got away with it.
“No I have to go to work baby,” You said, sitting up. You were a nurse at the hospital and you were scheduled to work today. Leo frowned at your words, his little lip pouting. He hated it when you left him. But he loved Jude even more. So you knew he wasn't gonna be sad for long.
“Oh,” He said quietly. He looked over at Jude, his eyes lighting up with an idea. "Jude can play with me instead!"
The tall footballer grinned, reaching down to tickle your son's stomach. You watched as Leo giggled, his pout forgotten. "I'd love to," Jude said, smiling at you. "What do you want to do?"
"Hmmm…" Leo said, thinking. "I don't know yet."
"Well, let's eat breakfast first," Jude said, sliding out of bed. You watched as he picked Leo up and carried him out of your bedroom, your son's little legs wrapped around his waist.
You followed behind them, heading into the kitchen. You had half an hour before you had to leave, so you had to hurry. You were sad that you would be missing Leo's soccer game, but you knew Jude would take him.
You stood on your tip-toes, reaching up to grab three bowls from your cabinet. Leo was chattering excitedly as Jude got him a box of cereal and milk. You watched as he poured some into your son's bowl, and then passed you one with a wink. He loved when you cooked, but he also knew you weren't a morning person. So he always got your son's breakfast ready. It was cute.
You smiled at him as you set the bowls down on the table, then bent down to give your son a quick hug. "I'm going to go get ready," You said, pressing a kiss to Leo's head. He nodded, already digging in to his cereal. He waved at you as you walked back to your room, Jude's eyes following you.
You took a quick shower and got dressed. Then you headed back out into the kitchen, where your son and lover were waiting. Leo was bouncing up and down, clearly excited about his day. You smiled at him and leaned in to give him a hug.
"I'll see you later, okay?" You said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He nodded, clinging to your neck.
"I love you, mommy," He said, squeezing you tight.
"I love you too," You replied. You felt a warmth in your chest, and you glanced up at Jude to see him smiling softly at the two of you. He looked so sweet as he watched you and Leo hug, and you felt another little thrill run through your body.
"I'll see you tonight," Jude said, pulling you in for a kiss. You melted against him, his big hands resting on your hips. You felt him pull you closer, his tongue sweeping into your mouth to tangle with yours. You could feel Leo watching the two of you, and you broke away with a laugh. "Let me go to work."
Jude chuckled and pulled away, letting you go. You gave him one more quick peck, then leaned down to give your son another hug. "Be good today."
"I will," He said, smiling up at you. You smiled back, then grabbed your bag and headed out the door.
Now left alone with your son, Jude decided to make something to kill time before his soccer game.
"What do you want to make, kiddo?" He asked, ruffling your son's hair. He was sitting on the counter, watching Jude with bright eyes.
"I don't know…" He said, frowning. He looked thoughtful as he scanned your kitchen. Jude smiled as he watched him. He loved when he did this. He could tell your son was thinking hard, and he loved watching him try to decide what he wanted to do. "Cupcakes!"
"Cupcakes?" Jude asked, looking at your son in surprise. He hadn't expected that one. But then again, it made sense. Cupcakes were one of your son's favorite snacks.
"Yeah," Leo said, nodding. He hopped off the counter, skipping over to the pantry. Jude watched as he pulled out a bag of flour and sugar, then skipped back over to Jude.
"You sure you don't want cookies?" Jude asked, eyeing the ingredients in your son's hands. Leo frowned at his question.
"No," He said, shaking his head. "I want cupcakes. They're better than cookies."
Jude chuckled and took the ingredients from your son. He was a bit confused by your son's logic, but he knew better than to question it. "Well," He said, setting the ingredients down on your counter. "Let's get started then." He grabbed a stool for your son and set it beside him.
Leo grinned and hopped up onto the stool, peering curiously at the ingredients. He watched with rapt attention as Jude got everything out, and then helped him measure out the ingredients. He was excited to be doing this with Jude.
"Cupcakes are my favorite," He repeated, helping Jude pour the batter into the cups. Jude smiled as he watched your son work. He could see that he was trying really hard to pour it perfectly, and he was impressed.
"I know," He said, ruffling your son's hair. "I'm glad we're making them together." Leo smiled and looked up at Jude, his eyes shining with happiness.
"Me too," He said softly. "I love you, Jude."
Jude's heart melted as he heard your son's words. He loved your son so much, and hearing those words come from his mouth made everything worth it. He wrapped his arms around your son and pulled him close.
"I love you too," He said, kissing your son's cheek. He could feel his heart swelling with emotion as he held your son in his arms. He knew he wanted to be his dad. "You're my favorite kid in the world."
Leo giggled and leaned back to look at Jude. He had a happy smile on his face, and Jude could tell he was feeling content. He was happy to be spending the day with him, and he was glad they had decided to make cupcakes.
"You're my favorite too," He said, smiling at Jude.
Jude smiled back at your son and helped him into the oven. They spent the next twenty minutes chatting while the cupcakes cooked, and then they let them cool. Jude made the frosting, and then helped your son frost and decorate the cupcakes. It was really cute watching your son work. He was focused and careful as he put sprinkles onto each cupcake, and Jude could tell he was happy.
When they were done, Jude carefully helped him put the cupcakes into a tupperware container. Leo had decided halfway through making them that he wanted to bring some for his teammates later.
Your son skipped over to the table and grabbed a cupcake, pulling the wrapper off and taking a big bite. Jude watched as his eyes lit up with happiness, and then he grabbed another one for himself.
"These are delicious!" Leo said, taking a bite. Jude smiled as he chewed his own cupcake. It was good. The frosting was a little messy, but he knew Leo would like it.
"We make a good team," He said, nudging your son's shoulder with his hip. Leo grinned and took another bite of his cupcake.
"I know," He said, licking his fingers. Jude chuckled at him. He was a messy little brat sometimes. But he loved him anyway.
"You almost ready to go?" He asked, glancing at the clock. It was almost time for your son's soccer game. Leo nodded and jumped off his stool.
"Yeah!" He said excitedly, skipping over to grab his bag and cleats. He had changed into his jersey to make cupcakes, but he needed his bag and cleats to play. Jude helped him with his shoes, and then grabbed his water bottle and followed him out to the car.
The drive to the field was uneventful. Your son chattered excitedly from the backseat, telling Jude all about his friends and what he wanted to do after the game. Jude listened attentively, nodding along as your son talked. He loved hearing your son's thoughts. He had such a happy outlook on life, and it was infectious.
They made it to the field a few minutes before the game started. Leo hopped out of the car, his eyes lighting up as he spotted his teammates. He waved goodbye to Jude and ran off to join them. Jude watched as he ran over to hug his coach (his uncle), then turned and waved again. Jude waved back at him and hopped out of the car, grabbing a seat on the bleachers.
The game went quickly. Leo's team won 4-2, and he scored one of the goals. Jude must've been the loudest parent on the sidelines, cheering for him and shouting encouragement. When the game finally ended, he jumped down and walked over to where your son was waiting for him. His coach was giving him a high five, and your son looked happy. He was sweaty and dirty, but he was grinning from ear to ear.
"I did it, daddy!" Leo said excitedly, running over to hug him. Jude froze at his words, shock filling his chest. He looked down at your son and smiled. He had never heard him call him that before. He like it.
"What did you say?" Jude asked, voice soft. Leo looked up at him, his face serious.
"I called you daddy," He said. Jude could hear the nerves in his voice, and he knew he was worried he would get in trouble. But Jude would never scold your son. Especially not for something like that. He wanted your son to call him that.
"Are you sure?" He asked, pulling your son in for a hug. He wanted to make sure your son was comfortable with it before he said anything else.
"Yeah," Leo said, smiling up at him. "I want you to be my daddy."
Jude's heart swelled with emotion as he heard your son's words. He was so happy to hear that. He wanted to be your son's dad. He wanted to protect him and care for him. He wanted to be there for him and give him everything he wanted.
"Okay," He said, kissing the top of your son's head. Your son's face lit up, and he squeezed Jude in a tight hug. He was so happy. Jude smiled as he held your son in his arms. He felt complete. He wanted your son to be happy, and he was glad he had made him happy.
He would always be there for him.
Always.
-Bianca🌻
285 notes · View notes
inkdrinkerworld · 3 days
Note
soft dom!remus x reader who lives with a. family member who's not so nice and always tries to embarrass her or make her feel bad about herself? my grandmas like this and i'm just so tired of it lol. obviously you do not have to write this if you don't feel comfy, i love you and ur writing !
that's so mean and i hope you can get out of there soon doll <3 hopefully this can bring you some comfort for a little bit.
You call Remus while you're just on the brink of tears.
"Hey dovey," he sounds so happy and upbeat you debate if you should tell him. At your silence, Remus speaks again. "Are you okay, dove?"
You sigh, all shaky and broken and Remus coos on the other end of the phone call.
"Not really." you mumble, picking at a scabbed mosquito bite on your thigh. If Remus were here, he'd take your hands in his and give your fingers a squeeze, but he isn't here and picking at the scab helps you to keep your breathing even.
"What happened, baby?" you can hear him shuffling. "Need me to come get you?"
"They're just being mean again, and no one does anything." you flop onto your bed, head hitting one of your stuffies and you grab onto it's leg.
"Every time I say anything I'm the bad guy. I can't" your breath shudders with the realisation of what you're going to say. You can't live here anymore. "I don't think I can stay here anymore."
Remus sighs harsh down the line, wanting desperately to be near you so he can pull you into his lap and tell you he'll make everything okay.
He settles for doing it over the phone while he starts his car. "Pack your bags baby," you frown.
"Everything?" you ask shakily and though you can't see, Remus smiles. Remus had said they only had one last chance, when you'd driven to his house in tears and shaking so hard he'd been worried that you were going to pass out.
"Everything, dove." You don't hesitate and start packing everything you own away into a suitcase.
You don't have much, just clothes, your prized stuffed toys, shoes [which are on your feet] and your books. Everything fits tidily into the suitcase and a carryon.
"I'll be there in twenty minutes, and you can stay with me." Remus says it like it's the easiest thing in the world- your moving in with him. Like it won't possibly cause more problems in this house, which it might, but he doesn't want you to factor in their feelings anymore.
"You deserve a home that's peaceful, not one filled with shouting and screaming and mean names, dovey." he says it so softly you can't help the way your breath hitches and the tears finally tumble down your cheeks.
"Yeah," you murmur, wiping at your tears and sighing. "I'll wait for you on the front step."
Remus really wishes he could be there now. He also knows why you want to wait on the front step, because then he doesn't have to come in and give everyone in the house a piece of his mind before whisking you away.
"Make sure you have an umbrella and your sweater, it's gonna start raining." you're already wearing his green one, with the yours and his initials stitched into the wrist cuff.
"Thanks Remmy," you sniffle and grabs your thighs and start hauling them to the door.
"No need for that dove, I'm ten minutes out. We can go to the store after, see if they have any of your favourite gummies. Forgot to stock up after this weekend."
You smile, you'd like nothing more. "I'll be waiting, Remmy."
257 notes · View notes
jomteaaa · 2 days
Text
you fall first, but he falls harder
a/n: i can only write fluff, so please trust me that it's fluff. there's like, one usage of 'she', timeskip spoilers, and a bit of language. it's my longest fic yet (which isn't saying much), no beta we die like daichi
you don't know that tsukishima kei knows about your crush on him. it's so damn obvious, how you turn red so easily when he's around. unfortunately for you, though, he doesn't reciprocate, nor does he bother confronting you about it. you are his closest friend other than yamaguchi, and as much as he hates to admit it, he doesn't want to lose you as one. it's so tedious, anyways.
---
"it's our last year in karasuno, do you have anything planned?" you ask as you lay on the floor of tsukishima's room. you're supposed to be studying, since it was what you came over to do with kei and tadashi, but you gave up somewhere halfway in geography.
"it is my last year, but who knows about you? you've been slacking so much, you'd probably have to repeat a year. and could you get up?" he sighs and nudges your side with his foot.
"asshole," you mutter, cheeks growing red. if you know that he just dodged your question, you don't do anything about it. "just you wait, i'll enroll into kyoto university and make you eat your words, beanpole."
"sure." his reply drips with sarcasm, but he doesn't doubt that you can make it far. there's a knock at the door.
"sorry for being late!"
"tadashi!!"
---
kei knows you can read him like an open book. you can tell he's having a bad day just by a conversation with him through text. he also knows that when he says that he doesn't want to talk, you immediately ring his phone.
the first time it happened, he had tried to decline your calls, or just ignore it entirely, but you're insistent. eventually he picked it up, filled with pure irritation at that point.
"could you--"
"i'm heading over. i promise i won't push for any details. i'll even get strawberry shortcake on the way." you immediately stated. he paused to mull it over.
"fine, but if the cake sucks, i'm kicking you out." it's safe to say that the cake was good enough to make this a habit. at this point, tsukshima doesn't even know why you still call him to let him know you're coming over. the both of you know you will no matter what.
so here you are, sitting on his bedroom floor with him and eating desserts in silence, save for the music playing softly from his computer.
"you're gonna get in trouble with your parents when they realise you snuck out." he remarks. you shrug your shoulders, stuffing the remaining taiyaki in your mouth.
"i know."
"don't eat with your mouth full." you roll your eyes with a furious blush. somehow, you being here with him becomes sweeter than the strawberry shortcake.
---
you were there when tsukishima made the decision to go professional with volleyball.
his last match as karasuno's middle blocker had ended. his body was sore all over, but somehow the freak duo managed to convince him and yamaguchi to play one more match back at school, just the four of them with yachi. but even with landing third in nationals and a final intimate match with his teammates, he still somehow feels so unsatisfied.
the walk home with you was silent. he was grateful you didn't say anything. he couldn't handle anymore questions about how he was feeling when he himself was unsure. it was when you two stepped outside the convenience store after getting ice cream did he come to the conclusion that he never wants to have a last match.
"i'm not going to give up on volleyball after graduation." he announced out of the blue. you were caught off guard for a bit, before grinning at him. "i expected that."
"why?"
"you call hinata and kageyama freaks for being so insane about volleyball, but you don't even realise that you're just as equally crazy about it as them." you said it so nonchalantly as you eat your ice cream, like you're stating a fact. now it was his turn to be taken off guard. he took a while to let it settle in before chuckling softly.
he should have known that you know him better than he does himself.
---
it's graduation day. tsukishima and kageyama are stuck with their four teary-eyed friends by their side. kei awkwardly pats your head, not knowing how to comfort you. you laugh at his feeble attempt, your rosy cheeks burning red. have you always been this cute? in the midst of all the bittersweet interactions, you get distracted by something on your phone, and let out a gasp.
"what is it, (name)?" yamaguchi asks. you're trembling slightly, and tsukishima grows worried.
"i, uh, got into kyoto university," you say in disbelief. "i actually got in!" everyone congratulates you, but you only care about one thing.
"tsukki, remember that day i told you i'd make you eat your words?" he hums in acknowledgement. you shove the acceptance email in his face, but he can only focus on how proud you look with that shit-eating smirk. "what do you have to say now, beanpole?"
he smiles. that's my best friend right there.
"nothing."
---
you were gone before the new year, and kei was handling your absence well until semester started. he had believed it'd be fine, you were only across the country, not across the world. plus, you promised you would call as often as you could.
but he doesn't sees you in his classes anymore, and you don't come over when he's having a bad day. he got himself strawberry shortcake to lighten his mood like it usually does, but he only feels hollow. it doesn't help that since he's going pro, his volleyball training is almost everyday now, and with your commitments, he rarely gets to call you anymore. it hurts like hell inside.
"hey tsukki, you've been off recently. is everything ok?" tadashi calls him one day.
"i'm fine, yamaguchi." kei lies. tadashi isn't convinced.
"does it have something to do with (name) being in kyoto?"
"why would you say that?" he answered too quickly for his liking.
"well, you bring (name) up quite a bit, and when you realise she isn't there, you get all quiet and snappy." tsukishima is about to retort back, but then it hits him.
oh shit, he's in love.
---
the day you finally return back to miyagi to visit, tsukishima waits at the station with yamaguchi. kei's eyes are constantly searching the crowd and flickering to his watch every so often.
"tsukki, relax, she'll be here soon." he ignores tadashi's reassurance.
tsukishima kei is a composed man, always able to think before he acts. but when he catches sight of you, he runs. before you can register anything, he hugs you, gripping onto you like a lifeline, like he will die if he lets go of you.
"tsukki--"
"gosh, i missed you so much, you idiot." he knows you could have easily lost feelings for him when you were away.
"wha--"
"i've suffered so much because of your stupid, dumb ass." he doesn't care.
"wait--"
"i like you, so go out with me before you have to head back to kyoto." you're back, and he's scared to lose you again. every second you stay quiet, the louder his heart beats in his ears.
"really?" you finally say, your voice barely over a whisper.
"yea." another pause.
"guess i'm yours then, beanpole."
bonus:
"you know, i knew about your crush back in high school."
"what the heck?"
"you didn't necessarily hide it well."
"then i'll have you know that yamaguchi told me everything that happened when i've been gone."
"...fuck."
295 notes · View notes
midnightbears · 3 days
Note
can u also pls write some gyomei headcanons🫰🫰😞
✿ no other word makes my mouth as tender as your name . . .
— in which cassie (aka the author!) offers the reader her personal headcanons for how himejima gyomei is in a relationship . . .
#STARRING. himejima gyomei x fem!reader <3
#TAGS. sfw. tooth-rotting fluff but it's fine. casual intimacy get your mind out of the gutter!!!
#NOTES. i love this man thank you for requesting! i hope it wasn't too short?? i wrote this on my phone and that's why it was so quick <3
Tumblr media
above all, himejima gyomei is a caring man, and he would be incredibly protective of you, aka, his spouse, always ensuring your safety and well-being. his nurturing nature would shine through in every interaction, whether it’s helping you with daily tasks or providing emotional support. somehow, he is attuned to your every emotion, and he can tell what you need or desire with only a whiff of your scent, or the weariness of your form. it is truly a miracle how familiarized he is with you, managing to read you like an open book even without asking. whenever you bring this up, he chuckles at you, simply offering you a small "i just know, dearest."
despite his imposing appearance, the stone pillar is nothing short of gentle with you, nothing but adoration staining his fingertips when he grazed you with his touch. soft and reassuring, a touch that felt like kisses by citrus fruit from the tallest of lush trees. this man treats you like a porcelain doll, so scared of breaking you, thinking that if he squeezed or pushed too hard, you'd shatter into a million pieces. despite that, you seek him out like a moth to a flame. his touch grounds you, whether he gives it by hugging your body, patting your head, brushing your hair, or softly caressing your cheeks. it is addictive, you think, having such a mighty, robust man touch you like you are made of glass. it gives you a kick, knowing he could crush your head if he so much desired, but he chooses not to, and instead treats you so sweetly.
for gyomei, i feel like acts of service and quality time would be his primary love languages. every task he performs, no matter how small, is infused with love and attentiveness. making you tea, helping you cook, dusting some of the shelves and cleaning around where he can, running you a bath, staying in bed just a little longer, sitting together in the living room while you read a book aloud, offering to meditate with him when he knows you're stressed... he is aware of how difficult it is to have a spouse who is a demon slayer, and a pillar, at that, so he wants to ensure that every moment you can have together is appreciated and beneficial.
gyomei would appreciate the beauty of shared silence. simply being in each other’s presence, without the need for words, would be a comforting and intimate experience for him. i think he believes that finding someone who understands you is much more important than finding someone who just loves you. sure, many slayers love and respect the imposing stone pillar, they are aware of his strength and of his title as 'strongest slayer of the corps', but who understands himejima gyomei? who will sit beside him with nothing but their presence to offer? who will see beyond his immense strength and gentle demeanor to the depths of his soul, recognizing the quiet, steadfast man within?
believe it or not, if you are now in a relationship with this man, you are now the person who will be hearing his voice the most out of everyone he knows. gyomei talks when he needs to, this is a known fact. he is not scared to voice his thoughts to whoever needs to hear them, always doing so with his deep, tender voice. but when it's just you around, he finds himself... mumbling often. they're silly things, most of the time, but they always make you smile. "ah... namu amida butsu." "you smell nice, dearest." "cute cat..." "you are beautiful." "would you like some tea?" "the garden smells nice." "are the flowers in bloom?" he may not say much, but whatever comes out of his mouth? he means it.
i feel like the final boss with gyomei would definitely be sharing his past with you. he acknowledges what he did, he is remembering everything vividly as he tells you, and he hopes you don't see him as a monster of some sort. he doesn't get to finish the story at the small sob that suddenly leaves your mouth, and you do nothing but throw yourself at him, slightly berating him for ever thinking that you would see him as a monster. gyomei's worries melted away like snow under sunlight. he is not what he did, and you make sure to remind him of that through his every act of love, every moment he spends devoted to you.
gyomei would be so normal about casual intimacy. he'd ask you to bathe with him, under the excuse of aiding him, only to pull you in as soon as you're inside the water, breathing in your scent, holding you close to feel your natural warmth emanating from your body. he looovess to caress you i just know it. and most of the time it's just him acting subconsciously, as one breathes. you could just be laying together on the floor, or having some chill time by the engawa enjoying the evening breeze and he just, has the sudden urge to move his hands toward you, caressing whatever peep of skin he can find while his eyes remain ahead, a soft, gentle smile pulling at his face. as i've said before, when you're both bathing, i feel like that need for closeness multiplies by a hundred. it's something sacred to him, baring your bodies to each other. he's literally that one quote that's like:
"soaping together, that is sacred to us. washing each other's shoulders. you can fuck anyone — but with whom can you sit in water?"
324 notes · View notes
maxtermind · 2 days
Note
requesting an f1 fic inspired by the song “reckless driving” by lizzie mcalpine ft ben kessler? 🙏🙏 (any driver & i adore your work)
never felt this way with no one
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
★ : feat :: oscar piastri x reader ★ : genre :: flufff, mature ★ : word count :: 1k+ ★ : a/n :: i love lizzy so much, this was so fun to write
Tumblr media
you were driving while a slow song was playing on the radio and as soon as there was a red light, you stopped and smiled before turning your head to look at—
oscar held your face in his hands before slamming his lips against yours. you eyes widened before you closed them and kissed him back.
he tasted sweet like the dessert you guys got before leaving the restaurant.
he deepened the kiss as his hand slipped from your face to the back of your head. it was too consuming but good.
as you got lost in mingled breaths and soft lips, the light turned green and a loud horn from behind had you stumbling backwards.
oscar cleared his throat as you started the car again. refusing to face you because his face was tinted and his heartbeat was so loud he could hear it in his ears.
what he missed out on was your own cheeks that were burning as your mouth stayed in an upright position. hard to stop smiling because this— him. it was exactly what you you were expecting from today through all the nervous getting ready for the date.
"i'm sorry..." he started before you shook your head.
"i'm glad you did, don't apologise." you murmured trying to breathe and get rid of your smile.
"i wouldn't have... i mean i wanted to but—"
you stumbled over your words but finally looked at him as oscar's hand squeezed your hand that was closest to him.
"i wanted to do it more." he admitted. "i've been thinking about it all night. i just... i wasn't sure if you'd want me to."
you chuckled as you shuffled to get comfortable in your seat, your eyes on the road, feeling a little braver now.
"oscar, i've been hoping you'd kiss me since you picked me up."
he laughed, the sound light and full of relief. "really? i've been so nervous. i kept trying to find the right moment."
you turned onto a quieter street, feeling the tension from earlier melting away. fuck, where were you even driving to? one kiss and the man had turned you into a mess
"i guess the red light was the perfect moment."
oscar nodded, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. "yeah, it was."
you glanced at him to see why he trailed off and were satisfied to see that he was already looking at you— at your lips and your skin felt like it was on fire.
you knew what he wanted because you wanted the same— more.
oscar sighed as you pulled into a parking lot, putting the car in park before turning to face him fully. your insides burning with the desire to feel his skin again.
"well, we're not driving anymore." you whispered, not knowing where this recklessness was coming from.
oscar grinned and shook his head as he leaned in close once again. "no, we're not."
he kissed you again, this time slower, more tender. you wanted to be careful, not wanting to kill the flame before it was even lit but as his hands found your waist, pulling you closer, you melted into him, your hands threading through his hair.
and you decided that just this once, you’ll give in and let him take the lead even if his hands are off of the lead.
the kiss deepened, becoming more urgent. your breaths mingled, the car feeling both too small and too intimate. but you guys were too far gone now when he pulled you over onto his lap.
oscar's hand slid under your shirt, his touch feather-light against your skin as you gripped his thigh. you gasped softly when he rubbed circles on your waist and kissed down your neck, the sensation sending shivers down your spine.
you broke the kiss, your forehead resting against his as you both tried to catch your breath. "oscar," you whispered, your voice trembling with need.
he looked into your eyes, his own dark with desire. "god you’re driving me insane," he admitted, his voice low and husky.
you nodded, suddenly you brain too foggy to reply coherently, feeling the same burning need. "i want you too."
his hands continued roaming over your body, exploring, caressing. your own hands were busy, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against yours. you managed to get it open, your hands sliding over his chest, feeling the hard planes of his muscles.
oscar's lips found your collarbone, kissing, nibbling. you arched against him, a soft moan escaping your lips as you realized that he was leaving a mark. the heat between you was almost unbearable.
but then, as you both tried to maneuver in the cramped space, you couldn't help but laugh. the steering wheel, the gear shift, everything was in the way.
"i'm too jelly, i can't drive," you admitted, breathless and laughing.
oscar grinned, his own laughter joining yours. "you know i can drive," he said, a teasing glint in his eye.
you cracked a joke, unable to resist. "would i be worried about your driving skills off the track?"
"i think you'll be safe with me." he laughed, the sound rich and full. “won’t let anything happen to you baby.”
you leaned in for one more kiss, slow and sweet, savoring the taste of him. when you finally pulled back, you were both smiling.
oscar took the keys from you, and moved to the driving seat, still feeling the lingering heat of his touch on your skin.
you didn’t know how this happened, but you were glad it did. that it went this far. feeling like a teenager when you noticed that oscar couldn’t keep his eyes on the road.
“eyes on the road,” you joked, your breath hitching suddenly when he leaned over to squeeze your thigh in reply.
you sneaked your hand towards his vacant one and intertwined your fingers, blushing furiously when he pulled the joined hands towards his mouth to leave a kiss.
"want to go back to my place?" he said shyly, expecting you to turn him down.
but you felt a warmth spread through you at his question, the simplicity of it making your heart swell. "yes, i would love that," you whispered, your voice soft and full of affection.
Tumblr media
( masterlist \ drop a request ) ©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.
387 notes · View notes
slayfics · 3 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Unknown Pleasures Ch. 3
You’ve had a crush on Katsuki Bakugo since joining UA, but will another student change your mind?
1.3k words
Chapter links
Tumblr media
The following day after your argument, Katsuki was sitting in the common room of the dorms, eating breakfast before classes. He saw you make your way down from the dorms and walk into the kitchen to grab some food.
Once you had grabbed your food you quickly scanned the room and made your way over to take a seat next to Hitoshi. Katsuki blinked, expecting the sight to disappear. Sure, you two had argued last night, but that wasn't an uncommon occurrence. Usually, these fights were forgotten the next day and you'd go back to prancing by Katsuki's side.
Katsuki heard your stunt last night, the way you raised your voice so he could clearly hear you talking to Hitoshi. He knew it was a stunt to try and make him jealous. Why were you still keeping this act up though, he wondered. It's not like he could believe you actually cared for that purple haired freak. The dude looked like a zombie, and he was far behind the rest of your class with hero work. There was nothing admirable about him at all.
Yet, there you sat having breakfast with him. Smiling about something. Katsuki grunted, and decided you'd get over your tantrum eventually and realize your act wasn't working. Katsuki almost felt bad for Hitoshi, who plainly had a crush on you. Didn't you realize it was cruel for you to use him that way?
Katsuki watched as you and Hitoshi finished up eating and made your way out of the dorms together. A sinking feeling hit his stomach when you didn't turn to glance at him even once. Didn't you want to see if your ruse was working? Wouldn't you want to check if Katsuki looked upset by you giving your attention to someone else?
"Hey man you alright?" Eijiro asked, snapping Katsuki out of his thoughts.
Katsuki clicked his tongue, "What the fuck was that about?" he asked, head bobbing in the direction of you and Hitoshi leaving the building.
"Oh, those two? I don't know but they were up late last night hanging out," Eijiro answered.
"Are you serious?" Katsuki snapped. He had heard your comment complimenting Hitoshi's room, but he hadn't heard you stayed to talk to him for any longer than that.
"Yeah, I was going downstairs to get some water when I saw her leave Shinso's room. I know you guys had a fight last night, everything ok?" Eijiro questioned.
"Everything is fine," he grunted.
Eijiro hummed unconvinced, "Ok if you say so, but if you're worried maybe you should talk to her. Apologize," he suggested.
"HAH? For what!?" Katsuki exclaimed.
"I don't know- whatever you two fought about. I’m just saying don’t you want to be on good terms with the person you like?” Eijiro asked.
“I didn’t say I like her!” Katsuki yelled.
“Oh... so you don’t like her?” Eijiro questioned, tilting his head confused. He knew Katsuki well by now and it was obvious to him Katsuki had some type of feelings for you.
“I didn’t say that either!” Katsuki barked, becoming even more frustrated.
“Relax man, but you should probably figure that out though… from what I heard she seemed to be getting along really well with Shinso…” Eijiro stated.
“Tch- whatever,” Katsuki mumbled, then quickly grabbed his bag to head off to class.
The rest of the day didn't go any better. Once he walked into class, he saw you sitting on Hitoshi's desk, idly playing with his lavender locks while you two chatted. Give it up already, Katsuki grunted to himself. Paying no attention to you or Hitoshi, Katsuki took his seat near the front of the class. The problem was, you didn't pay any mind to Katsuki either. Continuing your conversation with Hitoshi without a second thought to Katsuki entering the room.
Katsuki found himself letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding when Aizawa walked in causing you and Hitoshi to finally separate.
What the hell could eye bags even be talking to you about that was so interesting anyway. The useless shit he learned in general studies?
Throughout Aizawa's lecture, Katsuki found his thoughts wandering off.
Did you not care at all about your fight with him? Why hadn’t you said anything to him all day? Are you actually interested in Hitoshi?
Katsuki expected that by lunch time things would have gone back to normal. However, he couldn’t have been more wrong. When Aizawa dismissed the class for lunch, you bounced right over to Hitoshi. A wide grin adorned your face as you two walked to the cafeteria.
What the fuck?
Katsuki's grip on his bag tightened, and his knuckles whitened. Couldn’t you stop playing around and drop the act already?
Completely focused on watching you and Hitoshi disappear into the crowd, he didn’t hear the perky redhead sneak up behind him.
“You look pretty upset man,” Eijiro observed.
“I’M FINE!” Katsuki yelled, alerting some passing students to jump.
But he wasn’t fine. The pit in his stomach only grew as he watched you scoot closer to Hitoshi at lunch. The two of you laughed at something you showed him on your phone.
The way Hitoshi leaned into you to get a better view of your screen made Katsuki want to scream. Did you intend to keep this up until Katsuki gave in and said something? Or worse… was this real? Were you actually enjoying Hitoshi’s company?
As more time passed, Katsuki found it harder and harder to deny that this act was just a show. His ego argued with him that you couldn't actually be interested in another boy. Yet, there you sat laughing and smiling with someone else.
Then it all came to a head during the afternoon training session.
The training was simple sparing matches. A random drawing decided which two students would spar together. Comically so, Katsuki and Hitoshi were paired to spar.
You felt your breath catch in your throat when the match was announced. Why did it have to be Katsuki? Your nerves stood on end, as the two boys made their way to the designated sparring ground.
It's fine, you attempted to soothe yourself. Katsuki obviously didn't care about you or Hitoshi, right? If he did, he would have attempted to reconcile today after the nasty fight you two had last night.
The whole class was on edge as they waited for the spar to begin. As if everyone was wondering the same thing, Katsuki wouldn't go too hard on him right?
But just as Katsuki had underestimated your feelings for Hitoshi, everyone underestimated Katsuki's jealousy.
Within a few minutes of the spar, Katsuki had Hitoshi on the floor. The recent transfer to the hero course was no match for the experienced Katsuki. Attempting to hold his own, Hitoshi wrapped the capture scarf around Katsuki's wrists to no avail. A strong blast still came his way effectively knocking him out cold.
Katsuki's jealousy and rage getting the best of him, he let out another explosion directed at his classmate despite him being already knocked out on the floor. Aizawa quickly stepped in to stop the now one-sided beating.
Once the smoke and rubble had cleared the gruesome scene came into view. Hitoshi was on the floor, unconscious, fresh wounds across his face, dirtied from the soot of Katsuki's explosions.
The sight elicited a frenzy response from you. Your fists clenched, face hot, and ears ringing you trampled over to the sparing ground. Interrupting the lecture Katsuki was receiving from Aizawa, you broke in between and slapped Katsuki across the face.
Everyone froze, even Aizawa was caught off guard by your behavior.
Katsuki looked at you astonished, speechless for one of the first times in his life.
"YOU DIDN'T NEED TO GO THAT HARD!" You yelled.
The stinging on his cheek, the distraught look in your eyes, and the venom laced in your words made the realization finally hit. It wasn't an act.
"You really like him?" Katsuki mused almost to himself.
Tumblr media
sinners: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @derangedmango @reneinii @peachsukii @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @that-one-fangirl69 @pinkpurpledreams
173 notes · View notes
fuckmyskywalker · 2 days
Text
18+, smut, could be angsty, oral, Sam is a bit vulnerable but he deserves it.
This is for my girlies that get horny after venting.
Tumblr media
"I did something stupid," Sam pushes you into your living room, ignoring the confused look on your sleepy face as he slams the front door. He shouldn't be this loud— you were already kind enough to answer the phone and let him in, God knows your parents despise him, and he doesn't want your father walking downstairs in his stupid blue boxers yelling at him to leave. "I did something so fucking stupid—"
Pacing around the room, you follow him around, the tiredness slowly disappearing from your eyes. You have no idea what could Sam be doing after midnight, but the distress that follows him around like a shadow worries you.
"What happened?"
He shakes his head, tugging his shirt anxiously. "You don't get it. I'm such a fucking idiot—" He is in a loop. Thoughts running through his head in lightning speed. "I—I don't even know why am I here."
"You don't have anywhere else to go," Yours words are by no means harsh, simply truth; and sometimes, the truth hurts.
He glares at you but says nothing, continuing his stressed pacing. He can't get that guilty feeling out of his chest, constricting his heart and presumably stopping his blood flow; Sam is not sure if that's how it works but it sure feels like it.
"Sam— just tell me what you did, I don't think it's that bad—"
"Do you think I'm a whore?"
His question catches you by surprise. That's not what you were expecting.
"Excuse me?" You frown, taking a step forward.
"Do you think I'm a whore?" He repeats, standing in front of you. His blue eyes are restless, the streams of black eyeshadow, the puffy color... he's been crying.
"I... I don't think you are a whore," There's lingering confusion in your voice, wavering at the end. Whatever this means, you truly hope it helps ease his ache.
"Then kiss me."
A sudden lump in your throat causes you to choke. First he wakes you up, desperately asking you to open the door, then, he runs around the couch like a trained dog, only to ask you such an inexplicable thing and then such a sudden request?
"Why?" Hesitant, you try to cup his face. Is not something you'd do. Anything that's happening is something you'd do. Sam just slaps your hand away gently, you can tell there's no mean intent.
"Kiss me... please."
The lingering taste of his tears is a flavor you will never forget. It's a sheer coat that covers his chapped lips as you lean forward, wondering why are you allowing yourself to be compelled. Sam stands still, closing his eyes and fighting the urge to... explode. With everything that is going, with every plan that goes wrong, there is a sad yet reassuring feeling in knowing you will always listen.
When the kiss— finally becomes a proper touch, not a poor excuse of a kiss, Sam's hands circle around your waist bringing you closer. He melts, lodging in your arms. Tripping over his boots, you find yourself on the couch, with the face of a man who looks like he has lose his mind hovering over you; ocean eyes as vicious as a storm closing in order to claim your lips once more.
Heated, hurried, you can't understand the fuel behind his actions, but you can't stop him either. It's new— and any pleasure he is experiencing, you are as well.
"Promise you won't... judge me?" Sam whispers, sliding his hands down your sleeping shirt, it smells like you, your perfume, that body wash, that scent that makes its way into his brain.
"I would never judge you," It's sincere. Everything you do is sincere— which he hates. Why do you have to be so good? So stupid— so genuine.
"I prostituted myself— well, I tried," He chuckles, a humorless, self–pitiful chuckle.
"Sam," You mumble, the anxiety now contagious, creeping up your chest. "Why?"
"Because I'm stupid."
Lifting the shirt over your head, you want to stop him, not because you want to, but because... you really want to hug him. Sam, on the other hand has other things in mind, lowering his head to circle your nipple with his mouth, suckling gently and looking up at you, gauging your responses. You are helpless, arching your back and moaning quietly, aware that your parents are still sleeping upstairs.
"And why are you doing this?" Perhaps it's better not to ask, but curiosity is only natural.
Sam takes a moment to reply, focusing on your breasts, running his hand up and down your abdomen, feeling you, making sure you are real. His teeth nibble on your hard nub, tugging it until he drags another low moan.
Pleased, he smirks, or at least tries to. "Because I know you love me... and that's what I want."
There's no denying, although it wasn't the best way to express it. Your hands run through his hair, yanking it softly as he switches sides, using his free hand to pinch your nipple until you are breathless. It feels good to see you enjoy it, it feels nice to be... loved.
Next thing you know, your shorts are hanging from your ankle, his nose is rubbing against your clothed core, not content with the smell of your perfume— he needs you.
"Please don't tell me to stop," Sam whispers, pulling your panties to the side and shyly licking your slick folds. It's embarrassing how easily he got you this aroused, but he doesn't seem to care. Humming, he frowns, cheeks burning in clear desperation. "Fuck... you taste so good. Better than I could ever imagine."
Butterflies trash inside your stomach, replaying his words inside your head at least five times before you realize he is parting your lips with his thumbs, admiring how pretty your swollen pussy looks under the dim light of the living room. Sam dives in, licking your clit in what is nothing more than beginner's luck, before he jolts at your reaction.
Hearing you gasp his name is wonderful. Is what he needed. What he truly wanted, despite not being the most popular way to achieve it. He will regret it, I mean... who wouldn't? Randomly appearing on your crush's doorstep after a crying next to a dock and arguing with himself about whether he should throw himself to the nearest river or seek for comfort?
What he will not regret— ever— is the opportunity to see you like this.
Your head hangs back, resting on the itchy armrest, squeezing your eyes shut when his tongue slides in and out your dripping pussy, savoring every drop, even moaning against your core. He looks like he's enjoying himself, something you'd never thought possible.
"Are you going to come?" Sam asks, words muffled by his incessant licking and exploring. He's decided to memorize every freckle, every moan, every twitch.
The knot in your lower stomach is getting tighter, which only increases when he uses his calloused thumb to rub your clit in circles, tight and fast, giving you no time to think or breathe. His tongue explores your walls, feeling his own chest heaving. You can't be this gorgeous, this beautiful— another reason to hate you. Another reason to love you.
Nodding, you know better than to rely on your words. What if you get too loud? Although, the wet noises coming from his tongue and your cunt are already loud enough. Sam laps at your slick, enjoying it very clearly. His cock strains painfully inside his shorts, he ignores it, at least for now— or he'll make a mess in his boxers.
"Good girl. You always listen to me. No matter the hour."
196 notes · View notes
mandarinmoons · 1 day
Text
You bit your lip as you tried to hold your giggles back, tip toeing to Spencer as his back was turned to you and all of his attention was turned towards the hot stove.
You woke up to the sound of what seemed to be like a yelp of pain and rustling through the cupboards, an all familiar sound you recognised as Spencer probably cut into his finger again and was searching for a band aid. You chuckled to yourself as you muttered, “They’re in the bathroom counter” to yourself. Even with having an eidetic memory he never seemed to remember the exact place for the first aid kit.
Only a few steps away from your boyfriend, you took the last leap and lightly wrapped your arms around Spencer’s waist, making him jump.
“Someone’s jumpy this morning.”
“Yeah, I wonder why,” Spencer’s response was mumbled and you caught on to the annoyance in his tone and his lips in a light pout, which turned into a smile a second later as you kissed his cheek.
“I’m sorry. Did you find a bandaid?”
“How did you… I woke you up, didn’t I?”
You nodded and rested your chin on Spencer’s shoulder, your attention drawn to his hands as he quickly turned over the eggs and bacon on the frying pan, trying his best to cook each side evenly.
You felt your eyes get droopy again as the body heat radiating from Spencer felt like a warm blanket. Instinctively you felt yourself nuzzle into his neck and Spencer squirmed as your nose hit a well known sensitive spot on his neck.
“Are you trying to make me burn breakfast?”
“Hmm no, I just can’t help myself when you’re so warm.”
Spencer laughed as he felt your arms tighten around him, for someone not usually so keen on physical touch, he felt as though he’d rather die than go a whole day without your snuggles.
“Breakfast is ready.”
“Five more minutes.”
Spencer grinned and turned the stove off, moving to the side so he could wrap his arms around you too.
“Oh, I forgot something.”
“Yeah? What did you forget?”
Taking Spencer’s hand, you pressed your lips to the finger he had accidentally butchered, a light wince coming from his mouth before being replaced with a giggle.
“What was that for?”
“Love heals all wounds, especially if it’s my kisses.”
“They sure do love, they sure do.”
Taglist: @radioactiveinvisible @whoisspence @sreidisms @lanascinnamongirls @luvkatryna @sp3ncelle @iluvreid @khxna @keiva1000 @reidstheyfriend @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @kimm4710 @niktwazny303 @reidsdaisies @mindfullycriminal @cumulo-stratus @themarauderseraslut @gayfor-rosadiaz @gubsbuubs @multifandomsimp69 @chyozai @deppfanatic @potatovoyager @indyvelazquez
If you'd like to be removed from the taglist send me a DM or a message in my inbox
If you want to be a part of my taglist go here!
You can find my masterlist here!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments and like & reblog to support <3
154 notes · View notes
kpop---scenarios · 2 days
Text
Maniac (1)
Tumblr media
Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader x Minho
Genre: Mafia au
Warning: Sexually Explict Talk [18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT READ.]
Word Count: 2k
“Y/N.” Your father calls from his office. “Come here.”
Without attitude, and promptly, you quickly leave the book you were reading at the kitchen counter and head down the hall to your fathers office.
“Yes, father?” You say, walking into his office right away.
“Do you have plans tonight?” He asks, never looking up at you. He remains concentrated on his paperwork.
“Ah, no, I don't believe I do.” You answer. “Why?” You wonder.
“You're escorting Mr. Hwang Hyunjin out tonight. His father and I are in talks about marrying the two of you. So spend some time with him and please, put in some effort.” He says. “ I'd like this wedding to go forward.” He says with a sigh.
You were the only daughter he had to marry off. Every other leader in this world had sons, so unfortunately your three older brothers were quite useless to him when it came to merging families.
You had known since you were young what your role in this family was. You knew who your father was, and what he was. You'd been around guns and violence since you could remember, and it's been instilled in you from a young age, when your father asks you to do something, you do it. Without hesitation and without talking back. Your fate has always been signed, sealed and delivered, the only question was to who. Your father currently was in talks with a few other leaders, but it seems the Hwang's have made a significant enough move to have you meet their son.
“Yes father. I'll go get ready now.” You smile, leaving the room and heading up to your own room. You sit in front of your mirror, slowly doing your makeup, trying to make sure everything is perfectly even and sharp. You wanted to make a good first impression. It was important to your father so it was important to you as well.
“Y/N. He's here. Hurry up please.” Your father yells from downstairs. You smooth out the dress you had slipped on as you quickly put on your shoes and grabbed your bag. Nerves flowed through your body as you walked out of your room and down the stairs. As you come into view, you see a black haired beauty standing with your father. His dark eyes, sharp jawline and kissable lips were the first things you noticed. Your breath hitches as you get to the last step. You didn't know this man and here you were a fucking disaster.
“Hwang Hyunjin, this is my daughter, L/N Y/N.” Your father says, motioning between the two of you.
“It's nice to meet you.” You smile. Hyunjin looks you up and down, smirking as he grabs your hand, placing a gentle kiss before letting it go.
“Likewise.” Hyunjin says. He turns to look at your father. “I'll make sure she's safe, sir.” Hyunjin says, shaking your fathers hand. The two of you leave the house, heading out to the car that was waiting for you both. He opens the back seat door for you, closing it once you are in before he walks to the other side. He slides in beside you, leaning forward to speak to his driver.
“The club, please.” Hyunjin tells him, leaning back against the seat. “So, Y/N. Marriage, hey?” He says.
“It looks like that.” You say, looking out the window.
“Do you want to marry me?” He asks you.
“I've known since I was little I'd be marrying whoever he picks for me, so it's not some big shock to me.” You explain.
“So you don't have some secret boyfriend you run out to see late at night?” He asks.
“I've never had a boyfriend.” You say, shrugging your shoulders.
“But you've fucked?” He asks.
You shake your head no.
His jaw drops.
“Kissed? You've had to at least have had someone slide their tongue into your mouth.” He chuckles.
Again you shake your head no. His jaw drops even further.
“How?” He gasps. “How can you have never done anything? So you don't know how it feels to have your pussy eaten, how it feels to cum with a cock buried deep inside you?”
You sigh loudly. “I never experienced any of it. Not that I haven't wanted to. But my father has always told me that my future husband won't want someone who sleeps around. Even living this lifestyle, the men want their women pure. So I have just avoided it. Not that I haven't had the opportunity.” You chuckle.
“I can imagine you've had a lot of opportunities, I mean look at you.” He whispers, leaning in closely to you. “This makes me want to do very bad things to you.” He smiles.
You get tingles all through your body as he stares at you, your heart thumping harshly in your chest. You lick your lips as you look down at his. Fuck you wanted to just do it. But you couldn't, it wasn't a guarantee that you were going to marry Hyunjin. There were other families throwing their sons in the ring, and you needed to remain pure for whoever you were going to marry.
Once the two of you pull up to the club, Hyunjin opens the door for you, taking your hand, leading you into the club behind you. The bouncer waves the two of you through, causing groans from the hundreds of people waiting in line to get in. As soon as the two of you walk in, you're hit with the smell of sweat, body odor and liquor. Hyunjin leads you past the bar, past the dance floor, the drunk people making out in the hallway, and you a private set of stairs to an area that clearly not many people are allowed into.
“Ah, a few of my friends are here.” He says, motioning to the table of rowdy boys.
“Gentlemen.” Hyunjin says as the two of you walk over to the table. “This is my future wife, L/N Y/N.” He announces, pulling you beside him. The seven men stop and stare at you, a few of them smiling.
“Hi, Y/N. I'm Seo Changbin, it's nice to meet you.” He says, giving you a small wave. You wave back to him, saying hello to the others.
“I'm Kim Seungmin, very nice to meet you.” Another one says.
Why were they all so fucking hot? Christ.
“That's the L/N Y/N?” One asks. “From the L/N family?”
“The one and only.” Hyunjin says.
“Well, it's a pleasure, Y/N. I just heard tonight that my father has offered quite a bit to your father for us to get married.” The man chuckles. “I'm Lee Know, but you can call me Minho.”
“Oh.” You chuckle. “I wasn't aware of that.”
“It wasn't long ago, so I'm sure your father will be speaking with you later.” Minho smiles, glancing at Hyunjin. “Be good to my future wife tonight.” He says. “Don't do anything you're gonna regret, Hwang.” He finishes, taking a sip of his drink.
“I'll do what I want, Minho. Gentlemen, Enjoy your evening.” He half smiles, grabbing your hand to pull you somewhere a little more private.
“Would you like a drink?” He asks. You nod your head, ordering your favorite cocktail, while you and Hyunjin sit at a little table, huddled away in the corner.
“So.” He begins, taking a sip of his drink. “Looks like I am going to have some competition.” He breathes, leaning into you.
“It looks like it.” You smile.
“You know.. I could just show you why it should be me..” he pauses.
“You know I can't do that.” You whisper, pressing your knees together to try and soothe the throbbing of your clit. Fuck, just because you hadn't had sex before, didn't mean you had no idea what being horny was. You've been horny for years and have almost caved multiple times, but Hyunjin, he was making it harder to say no then it ever has been before.
“I could make you feel so fucking good.” He groans, leaning in even closer, his lips hovering just inches away from yours. You wanted to break the space, you wanted his tongue in your mouth, his fingers, his mouth, his cock inside you. You fucking wanted it all, but if what Lee Know said was true, there was a chance you weren't marrying Hyunjin, and you couldn't do anything if you weren't sure.
“I bet you could.” You smile, turning away to grab your drink, chugging it back. Hyunjin sighs as he sits back in his seat, sipping slowly on his scotch.
“The fact that you're so fucking pure and won't give in is so fucking hot.” Hyunjin groans.
You're about to say something when your phone rings, you check it, seeing your father calling.
“Hi father.” You say, answering.
“Y/N, how has your time been with Hyunjin?” He asks.
“It's been good, daddy.” You say.
“Ah good. Can you please ask him to bring you home, there's something we need to discuss.” He says, hanging up the phone.
“He wants you to bring me home. He says he and I need to talk.” You say, slipping your phone back into your purse.
Hyunjin nods his head, quickly finishing off his drink before he takes your hand, leading you past the men you previously met. You look back, your eyes catching Minho’s and you see him send a small wink towards you, which makes your stomach flutter.
When the two of you are in the car, Hyunjin holds out his hand, asking for your phone. You hand it over to him unlocked and watch as he types his number into it. “Call me, anytime, for anything.” He finishes, handing your phone back to you as his driver pulls up to your house. He takes his finger, putting it under your chin, pulling you close to him. “until next time, darling.” He whispers, his driver opening your door for you. You smile at him, slipping out of the car and heading inside your house.
“Daddy?” You call out. “I'm home.”
“My office, Y/N.” He yells back. You should have known.
“How was it?” He asks.
“It was good. He's very sweet.” You smile.
“Mhm.. well tomorrow you're going out with Lee Know.” He announces.
“I met him tonight.” You say.
“Did you? Huh, his father.. he has a lot of good ideas for how far we can take this merger. I hope it goes well tomorrow. We'll be making a decision soon.” Your father says, putting his glasses back on as he goes back to his paperwork. It was never ending.
“Good night.” You say, walking out of his office.
“Good night, honey.” He mutters. You walk to the living room, seeing your two friends, but also bodyguards sitting there watching a show.
“You guys weren't there tonight.” You announce, sitting between the two. “You always come when I go out.”
“Nah, your dad said you'd be safe with Hyunjin.” Wonho smiles.
“Who I've heard he is fucking crazy protective over things. And especially over women. But that's just the whispers on the street.” Shownu chimes in.
“Have you ever met him before?” You ask, laughing. Shownu shakes his head no. “Then don’t be making comments about people you know nothing about.” You laugh. Are you coming tomorrow?” You ask.
“What's tomorrow?” Wonho asks as you stand up, walking towards the stairs. “Are you going out with Hyunjin again?” He asks.
“No, tomorrow is Lee Know. His father made a..bid I guess, tonight.” You say. They both stay silent, as they nod their heads. They looked like they were keeping a secret from you, but you'd be able to get it out of them eventually.
You head up stairs to your room, getting ready and changing for bed. You'd met Hyunjin and Lee Know only once so far, and though you may not know much about them yet, you were already having a hard time choosing. That night you fell asleep dreaming of how Hyunjin made you feel, and wondering if Minho was going to make you feel the same way.
174 notes · View notes
miaoqing · 3 days
Text
svsss fact check/common misconceptions
"quick", i called it, and then it turned 8 pages long. sigh
this is a compilation of my own research (based on the english tl of the novel) and summaries of what @svsss-fanon-exposed has painstakingly examined; for more in-depth explanations/discussions + even more topics, please do check out @svsss-fanon-exposed <3 and of course, let me know if anything here is false, if you want a source for anything, or if there's anything else you'd like me to add!
this got quite long so! cut time!!
SHEN YUAN
death
Novel: not specified. 
Donghua: choked on a bun (not food poisoning!)
(iirc the yoghurt/food poisoning thing is the ghost of either an early draft or something mxtx allegedly posted on social media but that never made it to canon. don't quote me on that tho)
terminal illness
Entirely fanon. svsss-fanon-exposed post here
age
He transmigrated at some point between 15 at the absolute youngest and 23 at the absolute oldest; most likely 19-21. (fun fact: if he was younger than 19, LBH is actually technically older than him post-canon)
did Shen Yuan wear glasses?
Never stated in either the novel or donghua but not contradicted either. svsss-fanon-exposed post here
is shen yuan an unreliable narrator?
close enough
LUO BINGHE
early years
Fishermen got Binghe out of the river and gave him his name (Luo as the river, Binghe meaning icy river). He then wandered the streets for a few years, and then he was adopted by the washerwoman. After she died, he joined CQM.
hair
Binghe’s hair is not canonically curly </3 
scars
The scar on his chest is from when SQQ stabbed him at the edge of the abyss. The one on his hand is from the Jinlan city arc. svsss-fanon-exposed post here
bingge’s harem
Novel: "nearing three digits", “three-digit number”, “innumerable”, “large”, “vast” .... 
Donghua: around 3000
Not specified if this is just the wives or if it also includes concubines etc
xin mo
Bingmei is more prone to Xin Mo’s backlash than Bingge, as stated in the bingge/bingmei extra
demon mark
Binghe’s zui yin (not huadian, check entry in “misc.”) can change shape and expand. He can also hide it at will, but it seems to take some effort. svsss-fanon-exposed post here
head disciple
SQQ chooses Binghe as his head disciple, probably to explain why he let him move into the bamboo house. Ming Fan isn’t and never was the head disciple - check the entry “SQQ’s disciples”
Luo Binghe is big and buff and way taller than SQQ
False. Very in-depth svsss-fanon-exposed post about lbh’s appearance here but basically… he’s built like a kpop idol… personally i’m thinking Jeonghan or Haechan but could probably go as far as like… Taemin maybe. He’s also only like 2 cm (1in) taller than SQQ.
SHEN JIU
why did SJ hate LBH???
He was jealous of LBH for getting to join a sect and improve his cultivation at the best age and for having a mother who loved him. That's it lol. He also feared Binghe's power and potential which is why he made sure to sabotage him at every step. (ch 1)
“Envy that Luo Binghe had a mother who was “the kindest in all the world to him,” envy of Luo Binghe’s talent, envy that Luo Binghe would enter Cang Qiong Mountain Sect at the best age for cultivating.” - Ch. 19
qiu haitang called qiu jianluo "a-luo", which is why SJ hated binghe
Entirely fanon; she only ever calls him gege (also the "Luo" is a different character = slightly different pronunciation)
surely SJ wasn't thaaaat mean to LBH??
yeah no he really was just that much of a child abuser :/
fake cultivation manual
ch. 1 vol 1: "The cultivation manual Ming Fan had given Luo Binghe was a fake"
SQQ&YQY extra: “Luo Binghe was using the incorrect cultivation manual that Shen Qingqiu had handed him; he should have long since died bleeding from the seven apertures, his body rupturing down to his bones, skin, meridians, tendons, and flesh.”
so either SJ made Ming Fan hand the manual to LBH, or he was on board with Ming Fan doing that out of his own volition. Either way, SJ was well aware of this happening.
SJ was SAd by QLJ
Not explicitly stated but definitely a possible interpretation
SJ only went to brothels to sleep
Fanon but likely; svsss-fanon-exposed post here
SHEN QINGQIU
SQQ’s disciples
The number is not specified. Only Ming Fan, Binghe, and Ning Yingying are mentioned by name, but there were at least a few more (eg. Ming Fan's lackeys, the disciples waiting by SQQ’s bedside when SY transmigrates, the group he passes by on the peak). Ming Fan is (presumably) the oldest and about 16 at the start of the story, Binghe is around 14 (or 12-13; mentioned in svsss-fanon-exposed post here) Ning Yingying is the youngest (svsss-fanon-exposed post here), so all his disciples are presumably between ~12-16. no new disciples were taken in after Binghe - he's still the newest shidi when SY transmigrates.
NYY might not be the only female disciple on QJP - in the bingge/bingmei extra, SQQ refers to some disciples as “a group of teal-robed boys and girls”, however, the Chinese word used for "boys and girls" here doesn't actually specify gender. NYY is referred to as "Shen Qingqiu's youngest female disciple" but it's hard to tell if it's meant to be interpreted as "youngest of the females" or "youngest and also female, unlike the others".
Ming Fan was never head disciple - he is only ever specified to be the oldest disciple/the first one to become their master’s student. however, if a head disciple isn’t chosen, is it usually the most senior disciple who does their work - which in this case is Ming Fan. svsss-fanon-exposed post here
There might be "outer disciples" on QJP, in which case Ming Fan would be SQQ's earliest disciple, not necessarily the first on the whole peak. However, there is no outright mention of any outer disciples on QJP; the only mention of outer disciples is in regards to An Ding.
SQQ’s eye colour
In the novel his eyes are described as black. however, in many official illustrations they are green, grey, or some other lighter colour. 
svsss-fanon-exposed post(s) here
META
how long was pidw?
novel: LONG. Its posting time spanned 3-4 years (SY says 4 years in chapter 1, Airplane says 3 years in the Airplane extra). Airplane allegedly “updated ten thousand words a day, every day, for three years straight” with “periodic burst releases of eight whole chapters”. He had also written other works before PIDW.
donghua: 6666 chapters
what’s the svsss timeline?
link to ao3 post by VagabondDawn
post examining the pre-canon timeline by svsss-fanon-exposed
CQM
peak lords’ ages
Shen Jiu was about 33 when he died. Yue Qingyuan is roughly three years older than him and Liu Qingge is a few years younger. others are unknown. check the svsss-fanon-exposed post re:the timeline linked above
• CQM's disciple robes are colour coded
canon. svsss-fanon-exposed post here
qing jing - the eng tl says teal but the Chinese character used to describe the color can mean one of several shades of green/blue-green/etc qiong ding - unclear but YQY wears black in the donghua and “dark-hued robes” in ch. 19 bai zhan - black disciple uniform, but LQG wears white (novel) xian shu - pink/purple (donghua) an ding - blue (official art)
others unknown :/
MISC.
how did Airplane die?
He spilled noodles onto his laptop while laughing at Peerless Cucumber's forum posts and electrocuted himself when he pulled the plug out trying to save his half-finished file. This is kind of weird because if Airplane had an unfinished draft on his laptop when he died, SY couldn’t have finished reading the entire novel; unless the system somehow finished the chapter, uploaded it as the final chapter after Airplane died, and did such a bad job that it killed SY. Alternatively, he could have been working on a bonus chapter after finishing the main story, in which case SY was already dead by this point :0
but yeah TECHNICALLY you could argue that cumplane indirectly killed each other lol
However, Airplane transmigrated into a baby Shang Qinghua; he spent probably at least 30 extra years in "PIDW" compared to SY
huan hua
little palace mistress is the old palace master’s daughter, not granddaughter
all demons have forehead marks
fanon, straight up contradicts the canon text. only heavenly demons have demon marks in the novel, despite what some of the official art suggests. also, this type of mark would be called a zui yin, not a huadian. svsss-fanon-exposed post here
Liu Mingyan
Liu Mingyan is not confirmed to be either head disciple or even the most senior disciple. she might be! but it’s not stated in canon. svsss-fanon-exposed post about head disciples here
that's it for now! again, lmk if there's anything i missed or anything else i should add!! + check notes for comments from others :)
102 notes · View notes
cheolaholic · 1 day
Text
ring of love; csc (06)
summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.
Tumblr media
modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut
chapter warnings: brief mentions of crimes (drugs, robbery, abduction), brief mentions of sex and hormones
a/n;; i have risen from the dead, everyone. I know it's been a while since I last updated (4 months 💀) But, please enjoy this chapter and hope that I do not disappear for another few more months until the next update lmao. Also posting this update while I'm on my lunchbreak lmao
Tumblr media
You didn’t think that figuring out a place to meetup with Seungcheol would be difficult, but alas, it was. The places Seungcheol had initially suggested were either too far or the price range of their menus could amount to at least a month’s worth of your rent. Maybe it was the years of not seeing him that you had forgotten his parents had their own businesses, which obviously, means money is never an issue for Seungcheol.
After telling him you had to commute to some of the places or either needing to Uber or have Vernon pick you up, Seungcheol found a decently priced cafe near your place with a cosy looking interior design. Having finally settled down on a place to meetup, you now began to stress about an outfit.
You tore through your entire wardrobe before finally panic-calling Aki who agreed to help, on the condition that you tell her everything that will go down at the meetup. You agreed and after hours of outfit try-ons, you settled on a brown oversized sweater, a black pleated skirt, paired together with doc martens loafers.
“Are you sure this looks okay…?” your voice full of uncertainty as you stared at your reflection. Aki, who was on video call on your phone that’s propped up on your dresser, rolls her eyes at your question. “Babes, you’re literally so pretty right now that you could be someone’s gay or bi-awakening. Don’t worry, okay? I'm sure he’s equally nervous of finally seeing you again after what? Almost half a decade?”
“That's a dramatic way to say almost 5 years, but okay.”
“Just be your normal self, ___. Even if he’s changed appearance or physique wise, I'm sure he’s still the same ol’ Seungcheol from more than a decade ago. Well, at least for you, it’s more than a decade.”
“That is true… thanks for helping me out, Aki.”
“Anything for my bestie. Now, go and see your prince charming!”
“Can you and my parents stop calling him my prince charming?” you whined, only for Aki to shoo you through your phone.
“Tell me the deets afterwards! I want all the nitty-gritty - don’t you dare leave anything out!”
Tumblr media
Seungcheol got to the cafe an hour earlier than the agreed meeting time. He tried to get some sleep but the adrenaline of being able to see you again kept him up. Sitting at the booth and occasionally glancing at the door, he would try to come up with things to talk about. Of course, he knew he had to explain why he dropped off the face of the earth for years without contacting you. But, he still needed to think of other ways to fix the rift between you both.
“Seungcheol…?”
When he hears his name being called, he lifts up his head and it was as if time had stopped. There you were, shyly standing in front of him as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt. A few seconds after he realised he was staring, Seungcheol snapped back into reality. “Have a seat, __.” Ushering to the seat across him, flashing you that gummy smile that still sent your heart running for miles.
You did as told and after placing both your orders to the waitress who came over, Seungcheol nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “So… I didn’t know you were friends with Vernon…” he began, “Let alone a best friend since, y’know, Aki.”
“Yeah, I didn't really have a choice when he came up to me with that awful tie-dye during orientation. I was so glad when he got rid of it with how much my eyes were hurting.”
“That's Vernon for you,” he chuckles, “When he said he invited a friend, I was expecting maybe a classmate since Mingyu did the same with him.”
As you fidget, Seungcheol takes notice and leans his elbows on the table, reaching out a hand. “Hey, no need to be scared, okay? I know it’s been years and you’re most likely overthinking things right now, but I'm still me.”
“Where did you go…?” you asked in a shaky voice, “You just… ghosted me and later on, I found out you’ve been in Seoul for a while. Why… why didn’t you try to reach out?”
Withdrawing his hand and thrumming his fingers against the surface of the table, Seungcheol was silent for a moment before explaining himself. “That weekend when I headed to Seoul to check out Pledis, they had told my parents I qualified for one of their pre-u programmes. But, the slots in Korea were full, and if I did want to join the programme, I had to join their partnering unis abroad. They had Carat University in Japan and An Ode University in Melbourne.”
You quietly listened to Seungcheol as he continued.
While he wouldn’t mind waiting for an empty slot to be available in Pledis but, his parents had encouraged him to enrol into An Ode as they had an apartment in Melbourne. In the event he didn’t want to stay on his own, they’d be more than willing to pay for his dormitory. “They said the enrolment opportunities for pre-u programmes like these are rare… And, since I was given the opportunity, they encouraged me to take the chance.”
“… And you did…”
“I missed you like crazy, _. But, I couldn't get your calls or texts, not even reply nor call you back because I had to wait two weeks to be able to get a new phone and sim card. When I finally did get them, you had changed your number…”
Your face went red with embarrassment at the memory. A few days after your return from Jeju, your parents had brought you to go shop for a new phone and you’ve decided to change your number in the process. Since Seungcheol had dropped off the face of the earth at the time, you thought it wouldn’t matter anyway if you had changed your number since what were the chances of him calling you?
Turns out you were wrong.
“When I finished the programme, I stayed in Melbourne for a year and a half for their business course before transferring back to Korea to finish it in Pledis.”
“That was… that was at least two and a half years ago. Seungcheol, are you… are you telling me within those two years you never bothered to even look for me?”
“I begged them not to tell you!” he defended, “I wanted it to be a surprise! I wasn’t expecting our first meeting after years to be you witnessing me boxing!”
“I did! I went back to Daegu to look for you, but your parents had told me you went to Pledis! I tried finding you all over the place, but for some reason you were never in my line of sight!”
“Wait, wait,” holding up your hand in disbelief to stop him from talking, “you went to see my parents? They never told me anything!”
“How did you get into it in the first place though?” you asked, the waitress arriving with a tray of drinks and some cakes, “I heard you’ve been underground boxing for a year now.” Taking a sip from his drink, Seungcheol stared out the window, watching random cars and pedestrians pass by.
“I’ve been underground boxing for two years, actually, when I was back in Melbourne.” he answered. “A senior saw me during one of my Taekwondo matches during pre-u and invited me to try boxing. A few months later, he introduced me to this trainer who was looking to coach someone for a boxing match and everything just kinda fell into place.”
As a blanket of silence fell over the table, you muttered out a small “I missed you…”. Seungcheol gives you a smile, reaching out his hands to hold yours as he brings them to his lips, placing a kiss on your knuckles – an action that causes you to blush. “Well, I’m here now. I’ll make it up to you, alright?”
“I expect good food.”
And he replies with a sentence that has the butterflies you thought had died start fluttering again.
“Anything for you, pup.”
Tumblr media
“...No…”
“Yes.”
“No… You’re lying…‘
“___, I swear on my life, I am not lying.”
“Ew, Cheol, that’s gross!” You whined, pushing at his shoulder with a disgusted expression, “I don’t need to hear about your sex life – much less a three way you had!”
Seungcheol laughs at your reaction, “Hey, if you think mine’s gross, you sure hear Mingyu’s. Who knew models were so… hormonal.”
“Lalala, I’m not listening!”
After your catch-up lunch at the cafe, you brought Seungcheol to the park near your apartment. The area enroute… was sketchy, to say the least, and that was putting it lightly. If you were to remove the sugarcoating, it looks as though you could get mugged or abducted if you lady luck was having a bad day and decided to take it out on you.
“No offence, pup –”
“Non taken.”
“But, at least three blocks of your housing area looks like they’re being used for drug operations. I know you can fight for yourself – I mean, I taught you how to defend yourself when we grew up together. But, have you ever thought about… y’know, moving to a safer area?” 
You had thought about moving out, but with the current rent prices being equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment, the dingy area is the best you got.
“I mean… It can’t be that bad, right…?”
“___, look at the place… I know you value your independence but, surely there are studios or apartments for rent that are safer and more… well lit, y’know?” Seungcheol notices how you began to pick at your nails, a habit he’s noticed when you both grew up and a sign that you were either anxious, nervous or both.
“Budget restraints?”
“Yeah… This is the best I got, Cheollie… Anywhere close to campus is expensive, and a decent apartment is… well… if I had a mortgage, I could pay that off, y’know…? I have a part-time job – I work as a barista at one of the cafes near campus. It pays decently, kind of higher than the usual amount part-timers get per hour but, let’s say I move out and rent an apartment near campus – I wouldn’t be left with much money after paying for rent and the utility bills…”
“Ever thought of getting roommates?”
“In case you’ve forgotten, Mr Choi, I am not a people’s person. Ask Hansol, it took me a year to actually open up to him, even after he’s been introducing me as his best friend for months.”
“Your parents should have property in Seoul, right? Why don’t you stay there instead?”
“Because I’m an only child, Seungcheol. My parents will pay the bills even if I was willing to fork up my own cash!”
Adding on the fact that you had no transport of your own, the dingy little apartment area really did seem like the best option for you – at least, for Seungcheol he was still… iffy (rightfully so, he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you).
“Any public transport nearby?”
“There’s a bus stop that’s a 5 minute walk away from my place.”
“Okay…”
What you forgot to mention however, was the lack of reliable or functioning light source of said bus stop to your apartment’s lobby. But, surely, it wasn’t a detail worth mentioning to Seungcheol, you thought to yourself.
Tumblr media
“Y’know, I thought your crush on Seungcheol would actually die down within those 5 years of no-contact.” Aki confessed as you typed on your laptop, phone propped up against one of your pen organisers. “I mean, it kind of did? But, instead of you being over over him, it’s more like… it’s more like your feelings weren't as obvious as back then.”
“Was it that obvious though?” you asked, turning your head to look at her as she shrugged her shoulders, “Not gonna lie, you’re pretty good at hiding it. I only noticed it after spending more time with you and noticing the subtle signs. If anyone was observant enough, they’d notice. But, to those that just look over the surface, not really.”
“...Do you think Cheol noticed…?”
“___, I might offend you and almost all the male species out there with this statement but, boys are dumb.” Aki moves her position from her desk to her bed, lying down on her stomach. “You both have been friends since you were kids so he should be picking up the signs. If he doesn’t then he’s either dumb or playing dumb.”
There was a moment of silence between the two of you before you asked, “Do you think he knows I like him and he’s just playing me?”
“You and I both know Seungcheol isn’t like that,” Aki began, “Your well-being is a priority to him – you’re a priority to him. Maybe he’s never thought about it, y’know? You both grew up together, maybe the lines were blurred to him.”
Aki could still see the uncertainty on your face, which by all means, you had every right to feel that way. After all, Seungcheol had gone no-contact for 5 years and a person can change a lot within those 5 years. Who’s to say he actually is just a bastard who would step on people’s heads just to get what he wants. “Why don’t you start spending more time with him? Like the good ol’ times!” Aki suggested.
“But… what if he is, and he’s just really good at hiding it?” you asked again, the anxiety and nervousness eating you up as you thought about Seungcheol taking advantage of your feelings.
“___, darling, you and I both know Seungcheol always puts his loved ones above him – he makes them a priority. And, he’s always put you first, even up to the point he dropped off the face of the earth!”
“Rekindle the friendship, y’know? Sure, you both had a catch up session today, but you and I both know that isn’t enough. 5 years worth of catching up – and not to mention, I need to kick his ass.”
You let out a small laugh, “You’ll need to fly over to do that, Aki.”
“Hey, don’t tempt me, ___.” Aki playfully warns, narrowing her eyes at you and pointing a finger at the screen, “I have the money to do so, and I will.”
“God, Aki…”
"Hey, Seungcheol isn't the only one that would do anything for you and has the money to do so."
Tumblr media
[0212] cheollie: hey, ik it's pretty late rn [0213] cheollie: but, i just wanted to text you this before i forget [0213] cheollie: thanks for agreeing to meet up with me today and hear me out about my whole disappearance and lost all contact [0213] cheollie: and i'm really, really, really glad that you still see me as that boy you grew up with all those years ago [0214] cheollie: and i really had a great time catching up with you today [0214] cheollie: and i'll always be here for you if you ever need me, ok?
Seungcheol stared at the text he's about to send out.
i'm always going to be right by your side no matter what
After silently debating with himself, he deleted the draft and set his phone on his nightstand, laying in his bed as he stared at the ceiling of his dark bedroom - contemplating as he slowly drifted off to sleep.
Tumblr media
taglist (unable to tag a few ㅠㅠ)
@yoonclip @1004luvangel @catjunhui @mystikha @spk93 @tinkerbell460 @yoozuku @dnylwooo @christinewithluv @limbomoon @plutoxxxworld @i-give-up-1234 @m1ngyuc0re @yunloyal @leclercloverbot @bettybeako @billboard-singer @ocyeanicc @krupyadoorrahe @seobinnieshi @xcynthiaaa @k411z @disneyprincesshuri @sunnyapp @khxsh @staygenezy @loufi8iepuff @ursweetener @noisypapergalaxy @wonwootakemyheart @sugainpinksweater @leah-rose03 @thisisnotthelastofus @yearnoclock @kwonhoeshi @minhui8966 @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @ru-lin @deobiforever @belladaises @cheoliekkuma @duskunt1ldawn @hyneyedfiz @marshmallowshouse @ak6ko @chwevernonlover @jejuboo-s @tsukinluv @atinytinaa @gyros-cum-sock @soupbinlily @jungwoos-luvr @ener-energy @watermelon-sugars-things @cyberpunkhwx @ddaengpotate @nightwingsrobbinhoods @chaerrylov3r @joshuaahong @wonussmile @uliceeeeeeee @wonwoo24 @shinetogether17 @simplejihoon @luvkpopp
96 notes · View notes
sakinote · 3 days
Text
Busy schedule — nrk : Fighting + readers a lonely loser lol ✉ wc : 4.5k
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
: "She became a victim of my busy schedule though, and I know that it's not fair that don't mean that I don't care."
Tumblr media
Riki was always busy. He had a bunch of extracurriculars he did for school on top of dance, so you never really got the chance to see him anymore.
He'd always apologize, saying he knew it sucked never getting any of his attention but in the end, nothing ever changed. He was still busy and you still rode the train home alone every day.
Riding the train by yourself wasn't a new concept, lonely yeah but you got used to it eventually.
People on the train were usually either elders coming home from work or students huddling in groups of themselves, and it sounds depressing but beyond Riki, you didn't really have friends, which was okay. Until Riki joined a bunch of extracurriculars beyond his daily dance practice, which left him no time for you.
And it's bad to think about but the thought eventually got a hold of you and you started wondering if Riki enjoyed not being around you as often. You were clingy so it was understandable wanting some space from you, it still made you upset to think about though.
This thought alone has caused you to distance yourself from Riki subconsciously, which despite how busy he is he noticed because you're still his girlfriend after all.
-
The train was often packed with teenagers on the way home, you'd think you'd bump into someone and make friends for once but not once has it happened. You've begun to lose hope in talking to people.
Sure you could strike up a conversation but that's terrifying so you choose not to, which is probably one of the reasons you don't have any friends. How you started knowing Riki on the other hand was a grace from god.
In middle school, Riki came up to you rather then the other way around and asked to be friend's.
Spacing out on the train, thinking to yourself made you realize just how lonely you were when he was he wasn't around. Considering he's been your only friend since you guys were 12, being 18 in high school now. You've become slightly dependent on him, and it's another thing you've added to the long list of your lonely life.
Long lost in thought you feel a head hit your shoulder, you jump slightly cause it startled you but when you look to your right its a boy. Probably fell asleep, why else would he put his head on a stranger's shoulder.
Your body tensed up a bit, it was kinda hard to not be tense with someone resting on you.
You wanted to wake him and ask him to move but disrupting him wasn't in your best interest so you left him alone. On the plus side his hair smelled really nice.
-
The train came to an abrupt stop which shook the boy awake
Realizing he had fallen asleep on a stranger, he stood up and started apologizing profusely like a scolded child.
You followed in his steps and stood up, letting out shaky reassurance and telling him not to worry about it. It was overwhelming with people around looking at the two of you but eventually, he calmed down and explained himself "I really didn't mean to fall asleep on you like that, let me make it up to you!"
He was enthusiastic and energetic, especially for someone who was just freaking out.
"Oh oh no need! Really it's not a big deal." Still shaky you tried to convince him he was blowing it out of proportion. He wasn't taking no for an answer and he even managed to get your number so he could apologize more properly later.
After that he said goodbye and ran off the train, leaving you dumbfounded. You kind of just spaced out the rest of the way home, the whole situation was so dumb it was kind of funny.
So funny you wanted to tell Riki which you planned to do when you guys called tonight, you guys always called sometime before bed.
It was a point he made. No matter how busy he was and how little time he had for you, he'd always call.
You laid in bed waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
12am and no call. You weren't mad at him, you understood he couldn't always be there but you thought some notice would've been nice, instead of just laying there for hours on your phone.
Time passed and you gave up on waiting for a call. You placed your phone on your nightstand and got in bed.
Your mind started to wander, what was he doing that was so important? All of his activities end before 5 so why couldn't he call you? Was he okay? Was it a family thing? Did you do something?
In the midst of thinking you fell asleep.
-
In English the next day, during break time. It was your 4th period and Riki had yet to even mutter a word to you. As time passed, it was getting more upsetting and even more nerve-wracking.
You scanned over everything that's happened the past few days and you couldn't think of anything you've done.
You looked back at Riki to see him sitting at his desk analyzing his work, but you turned back around when you got a text.
Some random number that you didn't have saved.
"You're in English rn right?" The text creeped you out a bit, so you pressed to know who it was "Oh shit sorry! Just realizing I never gave you my name yesterday! It's Akio from the train. I wanted to come say hi if you were in English :)" Knowing it was him made it sorta less creepy feeling, he was still technically a stranger though.
You hesitated on replying but gave in "Ohh right haha, yeah I'm in English"
He liked the message but didn't actually say anything back.
Eventually, he came swinging in loudly with a booming "HI" as soon as he opened the door. It shocked not only you but everyone.
Riki who was staring at the boy in confusion.
Riki's eyebrows furrowed even more as he saw the boy walk up to you and hug you like you'd known him forever, slightly glaring at the boy. He sit's down in the chair next to you "What class do you have next?" His voice still much too loud for the atmosphere, the girl next to us shushed him, in which he apologized quietly and turned back to you.
"Uh math." You said quietly, shaken up by the boys incredibly friendly demeanor.
The boy started rambling on about how that was his next class too and how it's surprising you guys hadn't become friends sooner, all while you look back at Riki to see him still eyeing the boy down.
Riki got easily jealous, and he was possessive, but this looked more like confusion and annoyance then anything.
While on the other hand luckily for you the boy tended to talk more then he listened which was good as you were still too nervous to talk to him like a normal person.
Once Riki realized you weren't all that invested in what the boy had to say he finally took his eyes off of the boy and returned to his work.
After what felt like forever of Akio rambling and you silently smiling and nodding, it was time for Math.
Besides Math and English, you and the boy didn't have any other classes together, so the rest of the day went as normal, besides the fact that Riki seemed busier than usual and wasn't talking to you.
But the way home from school was different.
On the train ride home, you were walking to sit where you usually do when a familiar voice started to yell for you, you turned around, and it was Akio.
He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to a seat, exclaiming that now you had someone to ride the train with. Before you could get a word in, he continued, once again going on about anything and everything.
He was a bit over the top for you, but you had to admit, he was nice, and the company was nice too.
-
The train came to a stop, and you said your goodbyes, he offered to walk you home, but you declined. You told him you lived a bit from the station, and he left it at that. Getting home you got into some comfy clothes and passed out.
Asleep for about an hour and a half, you were awoken by a text from Riki
All it read was "I'm coming over" Don't get me wrong you were excited he was coming over; this was the first time in a while, but you were still upset with him for not only not calling you but also ignoring you all day. So you just texted back a simple "ok" and started your homework while waiting for him to arrive.
He didn't live very far so it didn't take long, as soon as he got there, he plopped on your bed and gave you a look.
You asked him what it was for, and he stayed silent for a few seconds followed by a contemplating hum, "Who was he? The guy in English that was acting all buddy-buddy with you?" He said it so calmly as if he didn't care if he got an answer.
"Ohh I met him on the train" You turned back to the homework on your desk "He fell asleep on me and asked for my number so he could apologize later!" his brows furrowed and his eyes creased a bit, "Seriously?"
You nodded and he continued "He gave you his number so he could 'apologize later'?" You again nodded at his very sarcastic question.
His tongue played with the inside of his cheek "Has he apologized yet?" He sounded almost annoyed
You chuckled nervously, his gaze was strong and intimidating.
"No, not yet.." He let out a 'psh' sound, he was clearly annoyed but not with you. More so with the situation. "He gave you his number cause he thought you were cute. Not cause he wanted to apologize." His voice was deeper
You didn't believe it so you rebutted "That's not true ki, I'm sure he'll apologize soon!" He continued to look at you, almost like he was trying to analyze what you were thinking. "Block him" He sits up on your bed
"What??"
He repeats himself "Block him"
"Why Riki."
"Are you dumb? He clearly doesn't want to just apologize. Does he know you have a boyfriend?" He started to sound angry, almost a little sad sounding. "How do you know that? You've never met him."
"I've met guys like him and you didn't answer my question, does he know you have a boyfriend? Me? Does he know you have me?"
You opened your mouth but nothing came out for a second, "I don't know? I mean I didn't mention it" Before you can finish, he tsk's and looks away "But the only reason I didn't mention it was cause he didn't ask Riki. I really don't think he's trying to get with me."
He ignored you "What's so good about him anyway?" He was starting to get fed up "He's nice Riki. I mean he made time to see me in English today despite being busy himself." You emphasized the 'made time to see me' part which Riki took as a jab.
You didn't necessarily mean it as one but you were tired of never seeing your boyfriend and so it just kinda came out. "You know I try to make time for you." Instead of sounding annoyed, he sounded genuinely hurt and tired, he looked down a bit as he continued "And I know that you don't really have friends besides me but you shouldn't befriend the first person that talks to you." He gets off your bed and heads to the door, "It's stupid and pathetic." He finishes before he shuts the door, harder than he should have.
His voice was laced with venom, almost like the sadness from before completely desecrated. And it left you dumbfounded too.
You weren't one to cry, you didn't cry about anything.
Not that you couldn't, but you made a point not to. It's pathetic and embarrassing, but despite that, you felt your eyes well up. You wiped them before anything could come out and decided to head to bed early. Couldn't cry if you weren't awake!
Granted it took forever to get to sleep, but you kept replaying what Riki said non-stop. 'Stupid and pathetic' weren't new words to you, but when they came out of Riki's mouth they felt a million times worse.
-
Going to School was dreadful, more than before.
Riki was avoiding you and so you were avoiding him back. You continued to hang out with Akio, it probably wasn't the best idea but you rather hang out with someone Riki doesn't like than be lonely again.
A whole week of this pettiness has gone by, nightly phone calls have stopped, goodnight and good morning texts, walking you to and from school whenever he had the chance, all of it stopped.
You know you shouldn't totally blame Ki, it wasn't completely his fault. You said some mean stuff too, but you couldn't help but be so angry at him despite it all.
Of course, you guys have gotten into arguments, and of course, with those arguments came insults but he'd never said something so cruel to you, something you confided in him he used against you, which hurt the most.
Everything was too much to think about so you dove into your studies, more than you already were. Not only studies but other things too, anything to get your mind off of it. Throwing yourself into things isn't a new concept for you, you did it whenever you got overly anxious. It would cause you to eat less, go outside less, and socialize even less than you usually do. Now the difference between then and now is you'd usually have Riki to make you feel better, but you don't so sitting in your dark room all day will continue.
Riki on the other hand, doesn't know what he's feeling. Though he's noticed you not taking care of yourself properly which is making him feel crazy guilty, he knows it's because of him.
Riki's so mad at you for choosing some other guy but he feels so bad for the things he said.
He didn't mean it, he knew you knew that, at least he hoped.
He just wanted to apologize and make it all better but he couldn't. His pride mixed with not having a lot of time made it hard to talk to you so he just didn't bother. Plus he wanted to truly work out what he was going to say before he attempted to talk to you.
He'd catch your eyes in every class, in the lunchroom, in the auditorium, everywhere. He wanted to see your face, he wanted to see you and hold you but he just couldn't let himself be vulnerable and admit he misses you. He's hoping you'd do that but you were just as 'non-vulnerable' as he was, maybe even more.
Which meant he'd either have to make it up to you or lose you over some random boy you met a few weeks ago. Luckily for you, he's sickly in love with you whether he'd admit it or not so he chose the former.
-
It wasn't spontaneous, Riki thought it over.
He planned when it would happen, how it would happen, where it would happen, and what he thought the outcome would be. He wanted to start it all off by making sure to spend the whole day with you.
So he went to your house before school, he loved walking you to school but he rarely got to do it since he had to be at school so early. But the way you get all giddy when you see him at the door makes him happy so he canceled morning activities to walk you.
Seeing him at the door was a little surprising, especially cause he didn't knock, you opened it before he could and the walk to school was uneventful. Silent, but not awkward.
Riki didn't try to hold your hand. He didn't want to make you upset by acting like nothing was wrong, but when passing by a little shop he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside.
At the rate you two were going you would've been early to school, and he saw something in the window he knows you've been eyeing so why not.
He didn't say anything as he pulled you through the shop up to where the display was.
A large stand with matching phone charms.
It was a niche interest you had, and you had tons of them at home but the thing about these ones is that they're matching.
Two long chains, decorated with beads that had small charms on the end. One with black beads and a white star on the end, the other with white beads and a black star on the end.
Riki knew you had been looking at them for a while, thinking it was cute considering his favorite color is black and yours is white.
He found matching things cute, he found it even cuter when you'd get a tint of rose on your cheeks and try to hide your smile as you showed him a new piece of matching items you bought for the two of you.
He thought about this as he walked to the register, making his own cheeks turn a slight shade of pink as he looked at you. You weren't looking at him but it didn't go unnoticed.
Walking out of the store, chains in hand, without letting go of your wrist Riki asks for your phone and puts the charm on.
He does the same for his phone and then holds them up together in his hand to show them off.
You tried to act non-cholent but your dumb little smile made its way onto your face and made Riki smile even harder as he handed you your phone back, and you guys continued walking.
You hated your smile. You felt it was too... cheeky. Too wide, and it made your cheeks all big.
But Riki adored it. The way your eyes would light up and close a little every time something made you happy, or how you'd cover your mouth if you felt you were smiling too much, just for him to pull your hand down and hold it in his. He loved your smile, he always looked for it everywhere he was, he especially loved it when it was he who was the one causing it.
He knew he couldn't always be the reason you were smiling but as long as you were happy it didn't matter to him.
He kept on glancing at you just to see you smiling and looking at the phone charm, you saw him doing it but didn't say anything. You thought it was cute how cheesy he acted when he thought no one was looking.
-
The rest of the school day was normal for the most part; the assigned seats of each class were fumbling with Riki's plans to be by your side all day, which he knew would happen.
Tables in your class were set in pairs of two, you were at the front of the class seated with a girl you barely knew and Riki was a few seats behind.
As break time started, Riki used his height to his advantage and threw a piece of paper above the guy in front of him and it landed perfectly on your desk. You looked back to see who it was, despite already knowing. You gave him a small smile which made him melt, and as you opened it you saw two stick figures holding hands in a flower field.
It was cheesy, yeah but it was cute. Cuter coming from Riki as he wasn't one for cutesy things.
He would write cute little notes and letters to stick in your locker but that was rare, so this act made you blush so bad you had to hide your face slightly.
You went to draw a cute photo back but before you could even get your pen out Akio spotted you and caught your attention.
Riki tried to ignore it, he didn't like the guy yeah but he also knew he was your first friend besides himself so he wanted to attempt to become friends with him for your sake.
Looking at Akio you saw Riki come up behind him. They had never stood side by side so you never realized how much taller Riki was in comparison and it shocked Akio too as he let out a child-like yelp when he turned around and saw Riki behind him.
You could tell Akio put his guard up a little.
-
During Riki and your petty silent treatment towards each other, you talked to Akio about how you were dating Riki and that you still wanted to be his friend but there needed to be a bit of distance.
He took it really well which was lucky for you as you had a hard time confronting people.
-
Akio backed up a little from Riki who was giving him a slightly annoyed-confused look, and bumped into your desk.
He wasn't scared of Riki per se, but Riki was intimidating. Tall, broad, cold stare, etc.
But in the moment of silence, Riki begrudgingly introduced himself.
Akio stood up a bit and introduced himself back, voice kinda shaky which made Riki chuckle. Akio, who has proved himself to make friends easily, quickly got comfortable with Riki and started talking about anything and everything.
As the conversation went on, Riki took the seat next to you as the girl had left a bit ago.
Riki grabbed your hand under the table, another thing he didn't often do as PDA wasn't something he enjoyed.
Eventually, the break was over, and it was time for the next class.
Akio said his goodbyes and ran off, Riki on the other hand wanted to walk you to your next class.
Walking to class, Riki had yet to let go of your hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth here and there.
And luckily the class was on the other side of the building which left you guys some time to talk, or more specifically some time for him to apologize.
He looked over at you almost nervously and squeezed your hand the tiniest bit before starting.
"I didn't mean it." He wasn't the greatest at starting apologies or apologizing in general, and although you were pretty sure you knew what he was talking about, you still asked. "Didn't mean what?"
He took a sharp breath in "When I said you were stupid and pathetic, just overall being a jerk..." he paused and looked at you before continuing.
"But that's not even all, I haven't been making any time for you, I was petty and ignored you, I got overly jealous and possessive, and I have just been a huge asshole." You were so focused on him apologizing that you hadn't even realized you guys weren't in the school building anymore, you were outside behind the school, in the small garden the school had created not too long ago.
"What are we doing out here?" You looked at him with confusion "I wanted to talk with you more privately."
"We're gonna get in trouble for skipping class, Ki."
"Don't worry about it, okay? I'll take all the blame." You looked at him, debating if you should stay out here or convince him to talk later but his eyes were almost pleading for you to stay out there, and so you listened. "Fine," you said with a slight smile.
He took a second to collect his thoughts and how he was going to go about this but eventually, he got it and started.
"I'm sorry I've left you alone so long. And I'm truly so sorry that I never made time for you, a busy schedule isn't an excuse to be distant, and I need to learn that."
"Rik-" You tried to cut him off and say it wasn't his fault but he didn't let you. "Wait just, wait okay." You shut up
"I care about you so much, you're truly the only one for me, and you mean the world to me. What I said during our fight was so fucked up, and I need you to know I didn't mean any of it. I want to be around you all the time, but I know I can't, and I'm glad you found someone you can be with when I'm not around.
I want you to know that I want to make all of this up to you. All the lost time, the phone calls I missed, the dates, just hanging out together, I want to make up for all of it. And I will, I promise.
I love you. A lot, and I'm gonna prove it this time. I'm going to be the best boyfriend you can ask for and I'm going to be your best friend again. Okay? I'm going to spend as much time as I possibly can with you. I love you so much. You don't have to forgive me now but I-"
"Riki." You successfully cut him off this time as he was starting to run out of breath and his cheeks were all pink.
He looks at you like a scolded puppy, catching his breath a little, Pure word vomit he thought.
"I love you too, so much. And I promise I'm not mad. It hurt never seeing you, yeah, and we definitely have distanced, ourselves as both a couple and friend but it's not your fault. You're busy and I understand okay?" He gave you an apologetic small smile before bringing you into a hug
It was warm and loving, just as all of Riki's hugs were.
He put his head into the crook of your neck, "I missed this so much" He mumbled, squeezing his arms around you tighter. "I'll do better. I promise." You smiled and softly caressed his hair. "I love you Ki."
"I love you too baby. So much."
-
Later throughout the day Riki walked you to every class, smiled at you whenever your eyes met, and was friendly with Akio whenever he came around.
After school, he came to your house and you guys just laid with each other. Something you hadn't done in ages, and although you knew he wouldn't be able to do this every day, you were just happy he was trying to make more time for you, and he was just happy to have his girlfriend back.
Tumblr media
@ Sakinote
Note: Sorry if the ending is bad or rushed, iv been working on this for like 2-3 weeks now and just wanted it out. But this is definitely my longest fic and I hope u guys like it :)) also I think I made Akio seem like a bigger character than he actually was... srry
121 notes · View notes