#//netflix has been my bff for two days

[gguk-n]

Jokes In The Cloud (Carlos Sainz x Comedian!Reader)

No Face Claim. All the pictures are from Pinterest.

CONGRATULATIONS TO CARLOS ON WINNING HIS SECOND GP THIS SEASON!!

punchlineprincess

Liked by y/bff/user and 2,389 others

punchlineprincess Vacationing with the people who get on my nerve the most

y/bff/user you forgot to take me😔😔 punchlineprincess y/bff/user sorry bbg, next trip with you alone😘😘 y/cousin/user you annoy us more🙂 y/mum/user not a nice thing to say Y/N punchlineprincess y/mum/user I was joking😅😅 user1 if someone saw her IG they would think she's a model😍😍 user2 God I've seen what you've done for others, when is it my turn🥲🥲 user3 pretty and funny. I want her!!❤️❤️

{Reader's POV}

The gears in my head my turning, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I still had to refine my script; I was sure I could do it if I have a few hours. "Sweetheart, dinner's ready" my dad called out from the bedroom door. "Dad, I have to leave" I stated. "To where?" my dad asked, walking in. "You know that Netflix special I was gonna film" I began, he nodded along, "well, they want to film it on Monday" I finished. "That's in a day" he stated. "2, since it's in New York" I explained. "Cassidy will send me my tickets, but I think I'll be leaving now" I spoke. "Sorry about ditching the family trip. I know how important it was for you" I mumbled. "It's okay, darling. This is bigger. This will catapult you to fame like you always wanted, I mean I'm already so proud of you but this is still bigger" he explained trying to calm me. "Me and your mum will help you pack, come on" he said and called my mum.

The two of them helped me pack my bags. He explained how my Netflix special would be filmed soon and I would be leaving soon to everyone. All my younger cousins and nieces and nephews were so excited. Cassidy sent me the tickets. I made sure to pack everything while my mum fed me, it was chaos in the best way possible. "I'll be leaving now" I hugged my parents good bye. "Can't wait to watch it" my aunt spoke patting my back. "Mention us" one of my younger cousin's spoke. "I'll try" I laughed. My niece kissed my cheek wishing me good bye. My nephew wasn't ready to let me go yet, my brother had to pull him off me.

I waved good bye as the taxi left the resort, my family waving back as I disappeared. The ride to the airport was short, I was too busy going through my material to notice when I reached the airport. I paid the taxi driver and hauled my luggage to the check-in desk. The person behind it, checked me in and I was headed to immigration. This was the first time I noticed that I was sitting first class. When did my manager have this kind of money to book first class. I'd have to bring it up with her once I had the time.

I got done with all the formality and headed to the waiting area, where I spent my time going through my script and tweaking it ever so often. I downed a RedBull to try to align myself to New York time, so that I can combat the jet lag.

As the speaker's announced the boarding for my flight, I grabbed all my stuff with the plan to finish it up on the plane. The air-host lead me to my seat. I noticed a man sat on the seat next to mine, he looked an awful lot familiar, until it hit me that it was Carlos Sainz; my heart started pounding. I walked up to my seat, put my luggage away and sat down. My hands were shaking by the time I sat down, pulling my laptop out. I started typing away with shaky hands. "Is that a script?" a voice came from beside me. I turned around to find Carlos with his head turned, trying to figure out what's written. "Yeah, I'm a comedian, this is a script for my show" I tried to speak as confidently and calmly as possible. "That's cool. I'm Carlos, Carlos Sainz" he introduced himself. "I'm Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N" I shook his hand. "I'm a Formula One driver, maybe you'e heard about me" he further elaborated. I know, I've been obsessed with you for years, my poor brother has to listen to me talk about you for hours after every race, analysing the whole race. I have a fan account called carloslover, were the thoughts running through my head. "Yeah, I must've heard about Formula One some where" I said tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Well it's nice to meet you" Carlos said. "It's nice to meet you too" I said with a smile. "I'll let you get back to your work" Carlos said pointing at my laptop.

I spent a couple more minutes working on it before I was disturbed by Carlos, not like I was complaining; "I'm sorry but I'm kind of curious about what the script your working on is about" Carlos spoke slowly. "I'm filming a Netflix special in New York. So, I'm fine tuning my script" I chuckled. "Oh, sorry for disturbing you" Carlos replied sheepishly. Damn, he looked so cute, I caught myself fawning at him. "Ah, it's nothing." I quickly looked away, "I love when people are interested in what I do" I smiled. "Then, I will continue to annoy you a bit" he laughed. "Be my guest" I smiled back.

A few more tweaks and a good hour later, I was able to close the laptop, happy with the script I had at hand. "I'm guessing you're done" Carlos chimed in. "I am" I said stretching a little. "Maybe you could practice a bit with me" Carlos suggested. "I do want to practice my crowd work" I thought out loud.

"So, Carlos are you really a full time driver or a model? I can't really tell" I said. Carlos's face turned red, "Is this how you do crowd work?" he trailed. "I, no, can't let the opportunity to flirt with a man as handsome as you go" I smirked. Carlos's blush only deepened, "So, I'm special" he laughed. "Obviously" I shrugged. "If it's anything, I thought you were a model and not a comedian" he retorted. "I get that a lot. But doesn't work in my profession when people don't think pretty people tell good jokes" I retorted back. "I've never heard any of your jokes, but I'm sure you're funny since Netflix wants you" Carlos said. "Hope so" I said holding up my hands with crossed fingers.

I felt like the time flew by, as Carlos kept me company. Just as the flight was about to land; "Will I see you again?' Carlos asked hopefully. "You could, if I had your number" I remarked. Carlos pulled his phone out and handed it to me. I put my number in and called myself. "I'll see you soon." I winked as I saved Carlos's number. "Can't wait" Carlos replied, smiling at me as we grabbed our luggage to leave.

Cassidy was waiting for me as I exited the airport. "I'm so sorry, I should've checked my emails" she apologised grabbing my bag. "It's fine, let's go. I'm exhausted" I replied grabbing my bag back. We caught an uber back to the hotel. I rehearsed my script with Cassidy for the next few hours, trying not to memorise it so it would sound genuine.

punchlineprincess

Liked by y/bff/user and 2,378 others

punchlineprincess Done filming my first special, can't wait for it to air🥹🥹

y/bff/user I'M SO EXCITED🤭🤭 user4 I'll watch it just to see that outfit😍 user5 so pretty😍😍 y/mum/user so proud of my baby💖 y/dad/user my baby's all grown up😭❤️

punchlineprincess

Liked by y/bff/user, carlossainz55 and 3,289 others

punchlineprincess Joked my way into his life🫣🫣

y/bff/user ooohhhh who is this??👀👀 y/dad/user what is this behaviour y/n??? user6 OMG!!! I love this❤️❤️ user7 the best couple ever and idek the guy😅😅 user9 y/n being sporty wasn't in my bingo card🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ user10 the golf date!!!❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 user11 I want to go to an art museum with my lover and imitate art like that😏😏 user12 this is so Carlos coded plus he's in the likes😣😣

punchlineprincess

Liked by y/bff/user and 5,378 others

punchlineprincess I may have gone overboard for the premier at home🥲😅

y/bff/user I'M SCREAMING WHILE WATCHING IT🥹🥹 y/mum/user my baby❤️ carlossainz55 so proud of you ❤️Liked by Author user13 what does Carlos mean by that, like he knows her🙂👀 user14 the funniest shit i've watched in a while🤣🤣 user15 loved this so much!!!❤️🤣 user16 finally the real comedian that's getting the recognition she deserves😂😂

punchlineprincess

Liked by carlossainz55, y/bff/user and 1278,340 others Tagged carlossainz55

punchlineprincess Sorry I'm not normal about my boyfriend winning his second race this season😭😭

carlossainz55 I think having you there was my lucky charm🍀❤️ punchlineprincess carlossainz55 aww!! but it was your big brain and hard work❤️❤️🥹 y/bff/user aww!! watching both my babies win respectively 😭😭Liked by carlossainz55 and punchlineprincess y/dad/user good job Carlos👍 Liked by carlossainz55 user12 I should've known after those dates🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ user20 seeing her hug his mom when he won was so cute😭😭 user21 the most unlikely couple🥹🥹 user22 I get it Carlos, I get it😍😍 user23 Vamos Carlos!!👍👍 user24 I want a full timeline how everything went down😩 user25 I'm so happy I got to witness this race😭😭 user26 she was so sweet to all the fans and even took pictures with us!!😭🥹

After the race win celebrations on the podium and the team, after the interviews when I finally got him all to myself; "I'm so proud of you baby" I whispered as I pressed a kiss on his lips. "I'm so happy you got to see me win" Carlos mumbled not letting go. "I can't believe instead of watching you on TV I got to watch you in real life" I said pulling away. "I don't know why you lied to me when we met" Carlos laughed. "Well I couldn't tell you I'm @ carloslover on Instagram and Twitter and I've been in love with you since you debuted" I laughed. "I think I wouldn't have paid much attention since you're so pretty" Carlos smiled running his hands down my sides to rest on my waist. "Well I'm a Carlos lover and I am Carlos's lover. It's a win win" I smiled, "You and I both, princessa, you and I both" Carlos captured my lips in another, yet steamy kiss pulling me closer so my body was touching his, "You are all sticky and smell of champagne", I mumbled against his lips trying to pull away but Carlos pulled me closer, "No" he muttered and continued kissing me. He walked back to sit on the couch pulling me down with him, straddling his lap. He pulled me closer, our bodies touching, his hands roaming mine before they found home on my ass. We pulled away slightly breathless but Carlos than started his assault on my neck, sucking on my sweet spot near my collar bone while pushing me down on his lap. I could feel him grow under me. I pushed him away, "Nope" I said firmly. "No?" he asked cocking his head to the right with his big brown puppy eyes, "We're not doing it here. Let's get back to the hotel, maybe after you smell a little less like alcohol, I'll think about it" I said getting up. "Y/N" he whined holding my hands as I stood in front of him. "Not even for today's race winner" he pouted. "No. Baby, this is your work place. I will do anything and everything you want but out of the paddock" I said. "The car?" Carlos perked up. "Carlos, darling, we'll be on the headline tomorrow reading Carlos Sainz Jr knows how to celebrate his win in Mexico with girlfriend in his black Ferrari" I said. "Fine, Let's go back soon. I can't wait" he humphed before going to change out of his race suit. "I love you" I called out. "También te amo" he called back.

[femdomlieeh]

Notebook of a fool ✧ Xiaojun

BFF!Xiaojun ✧ Crush!Fem!Reader

WC—3.8 ✧ k

WARNING—anxiety ✧ heartbreak ✧ crying ✧ pet names

THEMES—sfw ✧ light angst ✧ future fluff (?) ✧ best friend au ✧ crush au

NOW PLAYING—OTT ✧ IVE

A/N. 누나 (nuna) = older sister

psst! Next update is a Beomgyu smut… probably my fav smut I’ve ever written

M.LISTS—wayv ✧ latest updates ✧ read on wp

All rights reserved © femdomlieeh

✧ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ✧ ੈ ✧

Today was one of those bad fucking days. One of those days when you can't find any positivity in anything. One of those days when you don't feel like talking to the people you love the most. One of those days when you just want to give up.

The first thing you saw in the morning was a notification of a text from your boyfriend. Looking at the white speech bubble is something you usually look forward to when you see Wonwoo's name bright up your screen, knowing he always has something entertaining to tell.

But this particular morning he said something you wish were a joke.

Wonwoo Boo💞

[ive been thinking lately and _____ i think we need a break]

Mommy🤠💦

[You're not going to tell me why?]

Seen 10:17

You asked him the first thing that came to your mind. He couldn't possibly just expect you to be OK with having a break without a reason, right?

After an hour you accepted the fact that he had left you on read and that he wasn't going to reply anytime soon.

Maybe it was because he called you _____.

He never called you by your name. Only your friends called you that. He was supposed to call you weird or cheesy pet names and nothing else! 

He left you with a headache. He left you with your bad thoughts and theories. Damn you, Wonwoo.

It was very human-like of you to be in a bad mood. Only a robot would feel nothing in this situation. The day wouldn't get any worse. You were going to make sure of it! Your mood may have been bad, but you weren't going to let anyone else get affected by it. Lashing out on innocent people because you don't feel good on the inside is something you hated doing.

Today you were going to hang out with your best friend, Xiaojun, have a picnic on a park next to the Han river. Xiaojun had packed a cute pink basket (that he had specifically bought for you two to use for picnics together since they happened at least thrice a month) which was filled with kimchi kimbap, green grapes, two clementines and some churro flavored chips and you had packed a large outdoor blanket so Xiaojun wouldn't have too much to carry. For almost a week you two hadn't met up and you both missed each other and wanted to make up for the days you had spent apart so of course you went for the nice, typical not-romantic-at-all picnic hang out session.

But no.

You weren't going to meet Xiaojun and ruin his parade with the rain cloud that was following you around wherever you went since you opened your eyes this dark morning. No, you weren't going to let the first time you two meet in such a long time be ruined by the sad news you got this ugly morning.

누나 🥰

[I can't hang out today, sorry]

Prince Junnie🦄

[why not?☹️]

누나 🥰

[I'm not feeling too well]

Prince Junnie🦄

[it's ok i'll make u some delicious soup😊]

누나 🥰

[No, you don't need to, I don't want you to get sick!]

Prince Junnie🦄

[but ive missed u sm☹️]

누나 🥰

[We'll meet another day I promise to make up for this!]

And so you put the phone gently on the table to lay on the sofa and binge watch some random show. You made sure to turn your phone off first since you knew you'd cut Wonwoo some slack in case you read any persuasive text from him — he's good with words and making you feel loved. Whilst you were looking through all the lists Netflix had created for you, which were filled with movies and series you either had already seen or weren't interested in, Xiaojun was still expectantly waiting for his screen to go bright.

She must be joking, he thought.

Unlike you, Xiaojun's morning had started out brilliant. From the moment he opened his eyes, he was smiling and full of energy, excited to hang out with you after not seeing you for five whole days. He had missed you. Spending time with you was one of his favorite hobbies! Since you two had picnics regularly you two had decided that you would take turns in deciding and packing the picnic basket and this time it was Xiaojun's turn! He had been so excited all week, planning out a shopping list days before. He had specifically purchased grapes this time because he had this fantasy of putting one in your mouth (which sounded weird, but it would feel intimate to feed you fruit) and also playing around and throwing grapes up in the air and catching them in the mouth. 

Needless to say, he liked you a little more than a best friend should and that was a bit of a problem. His friends kept telling him that it was stupid to spend so much time with you and that Xiaojun should either try to ignore his emotions or he should distance himself from you until he loses feelings, because it was unfair to hurt himself by giving himself false hopes of getting somewhere with a taken girl. 

And Xiaojun knew it. For so long, he'd known that it was a bad idea to like you. You didn't like him in the same way, and you even had a boyfriend for fuck's sake — and a really pretty one at that! But no matter how many red flags there were, he still wanted to spend everyday with you. He didn't want a week to go by without being with you. He wanted to cuddle with you on a picnic blanket. He wanted to kiss you when you visited photo booths. He wanted to share hoodies with you. He wanted to stay up late and talk until you two fell asleep in each others' arms. He wanted to be the only one you called Prince. 

Wondering why you called Xiaojun 'Prince' when you already were in a relationship with Wonwoo? Well, Prince had been Xiaojun's nickname before you even met Wonwoo (yes, you'd known Xiaojun longer than you'd known Wonwoo, yet you still found yourself in a relationship with the latter — or not anymore actually). And though your (then) boyfriend never liked it, you had convinced him it was just a friendly pet name. Because that's exactly what it was.

To you.

To Xiaojun it was the closest he'd ever feel to being your boyfriend. But you started using that pet name less and ever since Wonwoo came around and ruined everything more than it already was ruined. Xiaojun even had to change his contact name on your phone to include the word 'Prince' so you wouldn't forget to call him that.

He loathed Wonwoo.

Wonwoo was always the reason why you couldn't hang out with your bestfriend for too long, why you couldn't call him Prince on certain occasions and why you couldn't look at him as a potential boyfriend. Wonwoo was an attention thief. Not really. But it felt like it. Xiaojun was jealous of everything Wonwoo had with you.

Because your boyfriend obviously was a threat, Xiaojun felt like he needed even more of your validation than before (which was already a lot). He needed your attention. If you ignored him he'd think it was your way of telling him that you had left him completely for Wonwoo. Ridiculous! He shouldn't feel like you owe attention to him.

Your friendly fucking friendship was the closest thing Xiaojun had to being together with you in the way he really wanted, so he valued it a lot. Not having you as his girlfriend was painful enough, but not having you as even his friend would break him.

Right now you weren't validating your time together, nor your friendship — or at least it felt like it to Xiaojun. He always needed your attention and unlike normally, he wasn't getting it right now. His smile dropped and so did his excitement for the day.

Was this the end?

He knew that spending one week without each other would lead to more time for you to spend with your damn boyfriend but he didn't know it would lead to the end of your friendship. 

No way he'd bail on the picnic plans.

Prince Junnie🦄

[can i pls come over? i bought fruits for u<33 i'm sure fruits is exactly what u need right now!!]

Prince Junnie🦄

[idc if i get sick or not bc i still wanna hang out w u]

Prince Junnie🦄

[pls 누나]

Sent 11:33

You had ignored him only once before and it was a horrible experience.

The way you ignored him (on accident) was so hurtful that he had to leave the gathering that he had looked forward to for so long, confusing the other guests, to go and lock himself in a bathroom so he could cry without bothering anyone. You'd gone right after him since you knew it wasn't very Xiaojun-like to leave a fun time for no reason. After you had knocked on the door and reassured him you were his best friend and not a random person coming to make fun of him, he let you in the bathroom.

The sight you were met by was his crumbling figure on the floor and overflowing tears on his cheeks. He had thought that you wanted nothing to do with him. Stupid you didn't see the obvious signs. It was because of the fact that you hadn't paid any attention to him that Xiaojun had gotten the idea that you had grown bored of him or that you wanted to leave him for Wonwoo (he hadn't told you the latter part, of course). And weeks later you did get together with Wonwoo. And that made him cry himself to sleep for days which you never knew.

How much your lack of attention and affection for Xiaojun had affected him was scary. And a fucking sign, you idiot. Nobody gets so worked up over the loss of affection of someone they view as a friend. Ever since that incident you'd made sure to always remind him of how much you value your friendship.

Except for today.

He thought he had made it clear enough to you that you never ever should ignore him unless you really meant It. Unless you really wanted to part ways. To go from the bestest friends to cold acquaintances. Some people might think it's crazy to be this attached to a best friend but you weren't just his best friend. You were his love and happiness. Without you he didn't have either.

Five minutes passed since he triple texted you and he still had no reply. Slowly he felt how his tummy was turning into knots and how his eyes started stinging.

Prince Junnie🦄

[ur making me worried]

Prince Junnie🦄

[hey!! text me so ik u didn't die from choking on strawberry milk 누나😰]

Prince Junnie🦄

[r u ignoring me?🫠]

Prince Junnie🦄

[unless u have corona, meet me by the river at 6 if u care abt me. i need to talk to u abt smth important]

Sent 12:04

If you didn't show up he knew for sure that you had left him behind forever. If you did show up then he'd confess to you. So spontaneously he couldn't keep his feelings away from you for another year because it wasn't healthy and he knew it. He knew he would have to tell you about his feelings sooner or later. And after being without you for a whole ass week and after experiencing the cruel punishment that is being ignored and even thinking you broke your dear friendship off, he knew the time had come for him to finally woman up and confess.

Whilst he was anxiously thinking through why he made such a bold move and possibly ruined any future he had with you, the girl he loved was being lazy and stuffing her face in pillows in front of a TV.

one season of Bojack Horseman later...

Tossed between blankets and an overflow of pillows, your tummy roared like a lion. You hadn't eaten anything yet. Maybe it was time to do something other than numbing your feelings with Netflix and the drinks you had at home? As you stood up you felt heavy. You had moved maximum 100 meters in the past few hours — to go to the bathroom, then kitchen and back to the living room — and it had taken a toll on your body physically.

Fuck.

You sat back down on your sofa and brought your phone to view after hours without it.

[6 new messages from Prince Junnie🦄]

Fuck. The last message was sent so long ago. You looked at your windows. It was dark outside. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. As fast as you physically could, you put on a pair of shoes and a jacket with your aching limbs.

In just a few minutes you were on your way to the closest bus station. The whole bus ride to the river was filled with thoughts putting you down. Your favorite person in the world was sensitive about this stuff and you hurt him. You were supposed to not let your bad mood affect anybody around you. But who were you kidding? Of course something had to go wrong with an idea you constructed and analyzed for four microseconds.

Before you knew it you had arrived at the destination. You were speed walking to the river. You two always went to the exact same spot by the river since it was usually vacant, by some miracle, and had a pretty view of a bridge.

You were naive enough to think that isolating yourself from your bestfriend and your phone would help solve your problems, so you were certainly naive enough to go and check if Xiaojun was still at your meeting place hours after you were supposed to meet him. What if he wasn't there? What if he was there?

The water was shimmering from the moonlight and next to it was a bench and an athletic, tall silhouette. Your eyes widened. Could it be...? Sniffles. That's the sound that came from their direction. You walked closer and could make out the lines of a figure that was all too familiar.

"Prince?"

The silhouette turned around and though it was dark you could see that it in fact was him. You quickly sat down beside him and noticed that a couple of notebooks were scattered on the ground next to a bike. You didn't know what to do, never having seen glad Xiaojun cry. After another particularly loud sniffle you turned your attention back to him. The light of the moon exposed the redness and tears on his face. For hours he'd been outside and his face was still wet with tears.

"Why are you still out at this hour?"

He choked on his tears and rested his face in his hands, "Because I'm a fool."

"No, you're not a—"

"Why are you here?" he interrupted you.

Touché.

"You told me to meet you if I care about you."

"You come here hours later as if I don't mean anything to you," he hurried out before his voice could crack.

"I'm sorry about that. But if I didn't care about you I wouldn't show up at all," you spoke with a soft tone. The last thing you wanted was to be harsh, especially since you were the reason your best friend was upset.

"Why did you do this to me, 누나?" he looked you in the eyes as if he'd find any answers inside them.

"I promise I didn't do it on purpose. I would never hurt you on purpose," you took his hands into yours, oblivious to how the simple gesture made Xiaojun a bit hopeful on the inside.

His hands were so cold it was shocking that he was shaking because of his crying and not because of the ice-like coldness. That's what happens when you're out for hours when there's no sun — or person — to keep you warm.

"I saw the messages 20 minutes ago and got here immediately. I would never purposely ignore you, Prince."

You made sure to use his nickname in almost every sentence you spoke, silently telling him that you don't want to fight. Slowly you brought his hands to your lips and kissed them lightly, five kisses on each hand for every finger. He looked at your lovely action and felt how his tears were slowing down. The kisses didn't make him warm — maybe for a second — but at least they made him feel somewhat better inside.

"I'm so, so sorry you had to be here in the cold," you apologized and kept his hands in yours as an attempt to warm them.

One part of Xiaojun wanted to continue being mad and make you feel bad for the hurt you'd caused him but the bigger part wanted you to hold him in your arms. He loved you and couldn't stay mad at you for long even if he tried.

"I-It's OK, 누나. At least you're here now," he whispered and looked at your locked hands, admiring the sight since it may never happen again — or maybe he should make sure his hands are cold more often—

You sent him a sorrowful smile and let his head rest on your shoulder, resting your own against it as an instinct, both from being comfortable and tired.

"From now on I will check if I have any texts every hour for you," you said with an exaggerated joking voice to lighten the mood.

He giggled. You weren't even being that funny but you were both tired and sad, so anything even a tiny bit funny was hilarious to both of you.

"What did you want to tell me before, Prince?" you whispered into his fluffy hair and petted it.

Should he tell you how he feels? Should he possibly ruin this? If he told you how he truly felt, would you ever kiss him hands like you did just now? Would you ever touch him this caringly ever again? Would you continue to call him Prince? Or would all of that be gone due to your loyalty to your sweet precious boyfriend Wonwoo?

For hours Xiaojun had been outside in the cold waiting for the love of his life so he could tell her the truth. But it took time before you, the love of his life, showed up. Too long.

When a person is alone outside with notebooks filled with blank pages to write feelings and stories in, it's easy to let emotions take over. He ended up writing around seven poems. Some poems were really cheesy and written in the spirit of the moment. Some didn't even rhyme. Some were a perfect description of where he was in him non-existent love life.

But they all had one thing in common.

They were melancholic and written from the point of view of a man who was hopelessly in love with his best friend.

"Nothing. I just wanted to have a picnic with you, 누나. I was just being dramatic to convince you to come despite feeling under the weather," he lied right through his teeth.

That made no sense because you two had never been on a picnic after sunset and Xiaojun would never lie to make you come see him. But you were tired and desperate to leave the cold outside, so you chuckled lightly, believing him immediately.

"Then where are the snacks?" you asked, confused since the only things around you were notebooks, a bike and water.

"I ate them."

Laughter filled the air; your genuine one and his fake one.

You put your face in his cheek, making him blush (not that you'd notice, since his cheeks were already red from before), "Well, my tummy is a little too thin right now, so let's go somewhere."

"In the middle of the night?" he questioned.

"Yes," you smiled against his cheek and he felt it, making him smile too.

"OK."

You both were still smiling when you were picking up all the notebooks to get ready for the ride. Jokes were thrown here and there. It was as if nothing had happened. You both knew it was a misunderstanding and you valued the friendship with the other too much to put energy into arguing. And you were tired too, so the argument wouldn't even be that epic even if you tried.

"What about your bike?" 

"Oh nooo! The buses are always so full now that it's too late to take the subway!" Xiaojun whined.

"You know what? Since I was a jerk you can go take a warm bus while I ride in the cold," you said impulsively.

"B-But, 누나—" he smiled, flattered. 

"B-But nothing," you interrupted him and sat down on the bike. Anyone who had spoken to you knew you were stubborn. He laughed. The little sadness he had left was gone by now. His cheeks were dry. Still red, but not from crying, now they were red from blushing.

"OK, whatever you say, 누나."

"You brought a transport card right?" you made sure since he came by bike.

"Yes I did~ See you in an hour, 누나," he winked at you and waved with a smile brighter than the moon before running to the bus that just arrived.

You waved back to him and got ready to bike — you definitely needed a head start. But before you started you couldn't help but see something white standing out in the darkness.

It was another one of Xiaojun's notebooks. You must've been too tired to notice it when you were picking them up. Thankfully the notebook was open or else you wouldn't have noticed it as it had a dark cover. You took it into your hands. To make sure it really was Xiaojun's you needed to read at least a snippet.

You prayed it was Xiaojun's because it would be worse if you read a stranger's private thoughts than your best friend's since you already knew all him secrets. The snippet was Xiaojun's. It was from one of the pages of poems that didn't rhyme, that was very cheesy but depicted how sappy he was feeling and also told him part of the story that you never knew.

I want to feel my best friend's lips on my lips

I want, more than anything, her to call me HER Prince

You drop the book on the grass. So that's what he wanted to tell you.

[sweetwhispersofchaos]

Top Gun Threesomeissance 2023

My deepest apologies to @sushiwriterhere for how late this is, but it's done and posted and I thank you for inspiring me to stretch my writing skills and creative process with this one. I tried to take an unconventional direction with your prompt so I hope it's not too left field for folks. I had fun either way ;)

I literally wrote this, read through it once, and posted it. So be gentle.

Summary: Bob hasn't been intimate in a very long time and now that someone has caught his eye, hes panicking. He needs an education and Phoenix and her girlfriend are all too happy to oblige. Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female Reader x Natasha "Phoenix" Trace Length: 6K Warnings: Smut. So. Much. Smut. Bob Fucks. Phoenix Fucks. (MINORS DNI)

After the uranium mission, Bob and Phoenix returned to their original units at Lemoore. This time, though, as friends rather than strangers. They ate lunch together often, went out with friends on the weekends, and had a standing date to watch movies and eat junk food at Phoenix’s apartment every Wednesday night. Often you would join your girlfriend and her new BFF for Wednesday night movie night when you didn’t have to work. Bob made for a great third wheel to your dynamic duo and you both loved having him around.

One Wednesday though, Bob showed up for movie night, soaked from the rain with his own dark clouds shading his normally happy, shining eyes. Something was obviously bothering him as he stumbled into the foyer, fumbling with a grocery bag while trying to kick off his squishy tennis shoes.

“What happened to you?” Phoenix asked as she came in from the kitchen to take the bag while you returned with a towel.

“I’m just havin’ a day is all. Sorry for the mess.” He took the towel from you with a sullen expression of gratitude and moved further into the apartment.

Luckily, he was over so often that he had some spare clothing and comfort items in the guest room. Bob went to change while you and Phoenix prepped the living room with chip bags, beers, and a soda for Bob. You were just pulling up Netflix when he returned, looking almost worse than he did at the door. He walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Phoenix. Her dark eyes met yours where you stood in the middle of the living room with the TV controller. You both shared similar looks of concern and the movie was suddenly forgotten.

Phoenix spoke up as you turned and sat on the floor in front of where she and Bob were on the couch.

“Ok buddy, somethings obviously up. You were fine when we left the hangar earlier. What gives?”

Bob let out a sigh and rotated his head until his neck cracked. There was a war happening inside his head and you could tell he wasn’t sure whether to unleash it or not. You reached your hand out and rested it on his knee, trying to reassure him.

“Whatever it is, we’re here for you. It can’t be that bad.” You said gently.

Bob huffed a sarcastic laugh and reached up to rub his face vigorously with both hands under his glasses. He then growled and threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

“Fine. I’ll tell yall. But you gotta promise not to make fun of me.”

You shared another questioning look with Phoenix then she put her arm around his shoulders. “Bob, we would never make fun of you.”

“That’s absolutely not true. You both picked on me for two weeks over the vomit incident at Six Flags.” He accused.

“That was different, and you know it, Floyd. This seems serious, so spill it.” Phoenix said with a squeeze to his shoulders.

“Yall remember Rebecca? The gorgeous red head we met last month at the farmer’s market?”

You and Phoenix both nodded wordlessly while staring at him intently to continue.

“We’ve been on a couple of dates now and I really like her. I mean, really like her.” He said emphatically.

When neither of you spoke up, he huffed again and continued. Beads of sweat were starting to pearl on his forehead as he became more and more visibly nervous.

“Uh, well. I invited her over to my place for dinner this weekend.”

“What!? Bob! That’s awesome!” Phoenix shouted as she practically leapt off the couch. She smiled brilliantly at him, and you smiled at her enthusiasm for her friend.

“No. You don’t understand. She’s coming to my apartment. Alone. At nighttime.”

Phoenix smiled even bigger. “Bob, I’m pretty sure we understand the intentions of this mission.”

He looked up at her with disdain and you realized something about this so called mission was really troubling him, so you spoke up. “Babe. Calm down.” You said with a small laugh at the sour expression Nat gave you.

“Phoenix. Look. I’m not a virgin, but, uh,” he hesitated “it was my high school girlfriend. We were together for 3 years. We did it. Then she broke up with me when I left for college.” He looked between you both with a wounded puppy expression as he sank further into the couch.

“Robert James Floyd. Are you telling me you haven’t had sex in a decade?” Phoenix asked as she placed her hands on her hips. Most likely she didn’t mean for it to sound as accusatory as it did, but you intervened quickly, nonetheless.

“Bob” you started with as gentle a tone as you could muster “have you had any physical encounters with a woman since your high school girlfriend?”

His face began to flush bright red, and you watched Phoenix's dark eyes go wide with shock. She regained her seat next to him on the couch and grabbed one of his large hands in both of her much smaller ones. You were thankful that she calmed down before he ran screaming into the torrential downpour outside.

He cleared his throat “I’ve had a few make out sessions but nothing concrete. I was so focused on school and then training that the opportunity never presented itself. Who wants the geeky guy, right? Next thing I knew a decade had passed and here I am, thirty years old with the chance for intimacy right in front of me and I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure where to put my hands or mouth or anything. How do I know she’s enjoying it? What do I do if she isn’t? She’s so perfect and I want things to be perfect for her and I just know I’ll mess this up. Arggghhh” he grunted as he stood, pulling his hands through his hair. He started pacing around the room, almost making you dizzy from your seat on the floor. This was a truly conflicted man and you felt so bad for him. He obviously cared about this woman and his want to be good for her was endearing.  

While he walked around the room continuing to rant about his lack of carnal knowledge of the female species, your eyes once again connected with Nat’s, and you could see her gears were turning. Nothing good ever came from the plotting expression she was now wearing while deep in thought. Nat slid onto the floor and came to a stop on all fours next to you. She raised her hand to whisper an idea into your ear and you whipped around to look at her with surprise. Her eyes implored you and she shook her ass in the air, enticing you. You considered her proposition for a moment more before whispering to her “Doesn’t hurt to offer I suppose.”

Phoenix smiled then sat back on her heels before rising. She held out her hands to you and pulled you up, her arms wrapping around your waist once on your feet. She placed a chaste kiss to your cheek then released you, entirely too much excitement gleaming in her eyes. Just as Bob turned to pace back Phoenix stepped up, blocking his path and bringing him to a halt. You were always amused by their comical height difference. Bob’s frantic eyes looked down into the smirking face of Phoenix as she placed both hands on his chest.

“Bob. We have a plan. So, take a breath.” He stared at her, then looked over at you, then back to Phoenix, looking more perplexed than ever.

“A plan?”

“Yup. No movie tonight. Instead, we’re going to teach you.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped, brought up short as he began to realize what she meant by her statement. Phoenix slid her hands across his chest, down his long arms, and intertwined her fingers into his with a reassuring expression.

Bob stammered “But, uh, Phee” he choked on a chuckle “I. Teach me?” he finally asked. You closed the gap between you and your girlfriend, placing your body flush to her back and reaching around to wrap your hands around their connected ones. You smiled at Bob as his eyes met yours. “Let us help you, Bob.” You implored gently “Nat’s bi, I’m gay. I can guide you while she handles the physical aspects. We wouldn’t be doing anything we weren’t comfortable with. But we won’t do this if you aren’t comfortable.”

“Yeah, and just consider it a maneuvers exercise like work.” Phoenix interjected. “Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make me cum. But this time the enemy is a friendly and we’re going to walk you through it step by step. End of the night you’ve gained experience, we’ve all had a fun night we can laugh about another decade from now, and you pounce Rebecca this weekend knowing exactly what you need to do!”

You just knew Bob was going to pass out. He was sweating profusely now, his eyes darting between yours and Nat’s as you both squeezed his hands firmly. In the silence something seemed to come to him suddenly. His eyes focused again, and his lips closed into a thin line.

“Wouldn’t this be like cheating on Rebecca?”

He had a point, you thought, but Phoenix jumped in always ready with an answer.

“Have you and Rebecca discussed exclusivity yet?” She asked.

“Well, no, we haven’t. We’ve been on exactly two dates, and I know she’s seen someone else during that time. So, I guess, the answer would be, no? But I'm hoping to impress her this weekend so we can discuss being exclusive, and I feel like this is my one shot to do it.”

You felt a little relief with his answer. You wouldn’t want anything to ruin the friendship your girlfriend had developed with Bob.

“Sounds good to me. Besides. We do this as an educational exercise, blame the alcohol that we haven’t actually consumed, and tell no one. But only if you’re comfortable and trust us. We can always bust out some anatomy charts and porn if you’d prefer?” You rolled your eyes at your girlfriends’ suggestion although you knew she was serious. When it came to facing a difficult task, she was nothing if not methodical with her plan of attack.  

“Bob. The most important part of this is that you are relaxed and willing. If at any time you aren’t, we can stop.” You added for reassurance as you slid your hands up Natashas’ arms then rested them gently on her shoulders.

Bob started to speak then stopped. His eye lids slammed shut and he took a deep breath, obviously working through the tennis match in his head. Then, something seemed to click for Bob. All the lines on his face relaxed and as he opened his baby blues, the clouds seemed to roll out. He stood up a little taller, his hands still intertwined with Nat’s, and he nodded once.

“Ok yeah. Let’s do it.”

You smiled at him as Nat reached up and gave him a gentle peck on the cheek.

“Let’s do it indeed.” She mused then flashed you a sassy smile as she led Bob down the hall by one hand to her room. You just shook your head with a grin and followed them. Your girlfriend had an insatiable appetite for physical touch, and you weren’t the least bit surprised she was willing to be the sacrificial lamb for Bobs sexual awakening. You just hoped she would be gentle with him. At least a little, anyways.

Phoenix dropped Bobs hand once everyone was in the room and moved over to a Bluetooth speaker on her dresser. She flipped it on, and soft music began to quietly fill the room as she placed her phone on the stand next to it. Bob stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, just watching Nat as she swept around the room lighting a few candles and drawing the curtains. She spoke as she flitted around. "First lesson Bob. Set the mood."

You closed the bedroom door behind you and looked up at the imploring blue eyes that were staring at you.

“Are you sure you don’t mind me, uh, you know. Doing, you know, this, with your girl?” he whispered to you.

You gave him a gentle smile. “Bob, that woman right there lives for physical touch. She will have her way with you and then have her way with me because she’ll be so revved up, so I’ll win in the end as well. Trust me, I’m totally ok with this.” And you winked as you brushed past him.

Phoenix turned from the curtains just as you moved into her space and wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her close. She giggled slightly before your lips were gently massaging hers in a deep kiss. You pulled back and looked into her chocolate eyes. “Nat, go easy on him. Try not to scare the poor boy.” You whispered quietly into her lips. She only giggled again then shimmied out of your embrace and slinked to the middle of the room where Bob was still standing hunched like a cornered mouse.

Phoenix ran her hand across Bobs lower back as she moved around his side to face him, grinning like a cat toying with her prey the whole time. You quietly moved to the other side of the king size bed, stripped down to your basic black bra and panties, and sat up against the wrought iron headboard.

Phoenix looked past Bob and scoffed. “Oh, not fair! You’re distracting me already!” she pouted. Bob looked over at you, flushed red, then averted his eyes again. You just shook your head with a small laugh. “Phee, concentrate. You’ll get your turn with me later.” Her smile grew wider before she turned her focus back to Bob.

“Ok Bob let’s talk making the first moves. Think of this like our pre-flight check list. You’re in the cockpit and it's time to warm up the engines and prep for go. You’re going to take charge of the situation just like you do when we’re getting ready to fly. So, what would be on your checklist to get things started in a sexual situation?”

You stifled a snort behind your hand as you watched Bob turn bright crimson, and begin to stammer with wide eyes. Phoenix looked at you quizzically. “What? I thought I’d put this in terms he would understand.” She said defensively.

“Natasha. He’s not working on an airplane. Do you want him to treat you like one? Rebecca? Maybe soften your tactic just a little babe?” you implored through a weary grin.

Phoenix huffed then blew a loose strand out of her face. “Fine.” She said bluntly before looking up at Bob. “Sorry.”

“S’ok Phee.” He croaked.

“Bob, you still ok?” you asked, wanting to protect him every step of the way.

“Yeah, I’m good.” he said as he hesitantly slid his hands around Nat’s shoulders then down her back, enveloping her in his broad wingspan. Her face registered disbelief at his sudden boldness, then her arms wrapped around his waist, and she smiled up at him. You grinned too. “Good boy.” Nat cooed and bob let out a nervous chuckle. “Now what do you want to do to me?” she asked.

He took in a breath then answered on the exhale. “I’d like to kiss you.”

“That sounds like a great first step Bob. Go ahead and kiss her.” You encouraged gently.

Bob leaned down and connected his lips to Natashas. It was extremely hesitant at first but then Phoenix leaned in reassuringly and he began to deepen the kiss. You watched as their tongues started to dance. “Nat how does that kiss feel?” you asked.

Never breaking apart, Natasha moaned into Bobs mouth, and you watched with pride as Bob slid his hands down her sides, letting them come to rest on her ass. Another moan escaped from Phoenix, and you praised Bob. “Very good Bob. Did you hear her moan? That’s a good sign. Keep going.”

Bob broke their kiss and released Phoenix, a whimper falling from her mouth. Before she could protest though, Bob removed his glasses, tossing them to the side. He reached behind his head with one hand and pulled his shirt off in one swift move. He may not have been your cup of tea but even you were impressed with the agility of the shirt removal and the taught abs he kept hidden away. “That was hot Bob. Right Nat? Wasn’t that hot?”

Natasha said nothing though, only smirked wickedly. She drank in the sight of Bob in nothing but his jeans as she ran her fingers over his stomach, tracing the lines of his muscles. “Oh, that was very hot.” She oozed and licked her lips. Bob seemed spurred on by her reaction, pulling her back in for another long and sloppy kiss. Maybe a little too sloppy. “Bobby, try to keep the kisses softer, less moisture.” You watched as he swallowed and backed his tongue off a little, choosing to nip gently at her bottom lip before dipping his tongue into her mouth slowly. Natasha moaned again and something in your own abdomen jumped. God damn your girlfriend made the most beautiful noises when she was enjoying herself.

“You have her attention, Bob. Take advantage of that.”

He broke the kiss again, staring into Phees eyes as his hands gently grabbed the hem of the black oversized t-shirt she was wearing. As he began to lift it, you decided this was a great teaching moment.

“Bob, hang on.” You instructed calmly and he did, looking up at you anxiously. You continued. “This is a perfect chance to build some anticipation. Before you rip her shirt off, skim your hands along her skin as you raise it. Let your hands wander and build some electricity. Appreciate her body and she’ll appreciate you.” He nodded once then began kissing Nat again as his hands slid under the hem and across her smooth stomach. You watched intently as his large hands glided down her sides and her hips then slid around to her bare ass. He gave her cheeks a gentle squeeze and both he and Nat let out almost matching whimpers. You smirked, pleased to have a student who learned quickly.

“She has a great ass, huh Bob?” you asked, and he nodded into their kiss. “Tell her. Complement her.”

Bob let his kisses wander up from her mouth, across her cheek, to her ear lobe then he whispered into Nat’s ear “God I love your ass.” And he squeezed it again. Natasha let her head roll back with a moan and you realized you were starting to feel a little warm. You loved her ass too.

With her neck exposed, Bob trailed kisses down from her ear all the way to the sensitive spot where her neck met her collar bone. You decided Bob didn’t give himself enough credit, he was doing a good job relaxing and following instinct. You knew Natasha wasn’t faking with her little kitten purrs as he worked the spot with quick licks and nibbles. It was becoming harder for you to remain an impartial instructor in this activity, you couldn’t help it, Natashas pleasure gave you pleasure, no matter how she was getting it.

His hands moved from her ass and began to lift the shirt, unhurriedly. Bob skimmed his fingers along the soft skin of Natashas hips and sides, stopping the assault on her neck to remove the black fabric completely. She stood there in a purple thong and bra you were sure made Bob’s heart skip a few beats at the same time yours did.

“Phoenix” he whispered adoringly. “You’re incredible. I just want to. I want to…” he trailed off while holding her hands and looking up and down her body in appreciation.

“She is so gorgeous, isn’t she Bob?” you asked huskily. “What is it you want to do? Don’t tell me, show us.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. Bob let go of Nat’s hands and cupped her breasts over her bra. He leaned down and placed a languid kiss on the top of one and then the other. Nat ran her hands through his hair and sighed. “Yes Bob, you’re doing so good baby boy. You’re making her feel so good.” You hummed.

“Bobby, take the bra off. I want more.” She begged and you watched as he turned her around quickly, pulling her into his body, eager to please. Bob bent down to suck on the sensitive spot in the crook of her neck while his hands slid her straps down her arms. He then stood and worked the clasps of the bra until they sprang apart, and the bra dropped down her arms and landed on the floor.

“Baby you have beautiful breasts. Bob, how would you show her you like them?” He looked up from behind her, his eyes dark with lust, and gave you a smirk, before his large hands wrapped around and cupped both of Natashas breasts firmly. Nat gasped as he began to knead her breasts, letting her head rest against his chest.

You were starting to feel moisture between your legs. Watching Bob work Natashas breasts, pinching her nipples and tugging on them was making you delightfully jealous but you tried to remain focused on his education.

Natasha was rubbing up against Bob as he worked her chest, moaning and running her hands along the outside of his thighs. You were starting to salivate at the sight of her squirming. Then Bob shocked both of you. He removed a hand from one of Nats breasts, put his two middle fingers in her mouth and she began to suck on them. A rush of heat ran up your spine.

“Very nice Bob, so hot. Now what are you going to do with those soaked fingers?”

Bobs eyes met yours as he removed his damp fingers from Natashas slutty mouth and quickly slid them into the top of her panties. Before either of you knew what was happening, he had run his slick fingers along her folds, causing Natasha to buck against him and release a loud pant. You squeezed your legs together, trying to calm the burning sensation rising between your own legs. You watched as his large arm snaked around her torso, holding her in place while his other worked her slit. You could see the wet spot growing in her thong and it was almost more than you could handle. You had to shake your head to remain focused on the job.

Natasha let out several moans then panted “Bob, God, oh Bobby. I want more.”

You smirked. She was so frantic, and you loved it. “She wants more Bobby, what are you going to give her? Get on your knees and slowly pull her panties down. Torture her.”

He did as he was told, dropping to his knees. He cupped her ass and lathered one of her ass cheeks with a wet kiss that made her moan with a grin. God that ass did things to you and your vision was starting to blur. Bobs fingertips dragged deliberately up the outside of her legs, ankle to waist, then even more slowly pulled her thong down to the floor. You were salivating at the sight of your beautiful girl standing bare and writhing in front of you.

“Bob, you’re doing so good. Can you hear all the small pants and moans she’s making?” He nodded his head as he stood, his hands roaming all over Natashas soft skin. “That’s how you know you’re doing a good job. She’s warmed up and ready for you, time to take things to the next step.”  

Natasha swung around and made quick work of his zipper, being careful not to catch his very large erection. She pulled down his jeans and briefs in one quick movement, releasing his large cock into the cool air with a gasp. You could see her eyes glistening with enjoyment. Your baby girl loved cock and you knew poor Bob was in a little bit of trouble. Nat got on her knees and began to suck him, hard, cupping his balls with one hand while the other braced on his thigh. Bobs hands instinctively grabbed on to Nats hair as his breaths became loud and ragged. He let out a loud “Oh shit” and looked at you shocked as Nat took him all the way in.

You smirked at him. “Bob, are you enjoying her mouth? If so, tell her. Complement her good work.”

He was now thrusting into Phoenix’s mouth while tugging on her hair, his mouth agape as he struggled for breath. His eyes drifted from yours down to hers and between pants he did just as he was instructed.

“Nat that feels amazing. Suck me, just like that.” And then his head lolled back as Natasha worked her magic.

“Bob, do you want to cum in her mouth? Or somewhere else? You asked and he growled as his head flopped forward to look at Nat again while she worked.

“I want to cum in her gorgeous pussy.” He let out through his forced breathing.

He was getting the hang of this. You knew how much fun Nat had working a cock with her mouth and that if you didn’t stop her now this would all end too quickly. “Natasha honey” you said and she slowed her ministrations before releasing Bobs cock with a loud pop.

She looked over her shoulder at you sheepishly. “Sorry babe, I got carried away.”

“Bob, help her up. Take charge. You know what you want next, make it happen.”

He bent down slightly and grabbed Nat’s wrists before yanking her up to him. Her body crashed into his and he began kissing her again. His arms snaked around her body and pulled her in even closer. The sweet sounds coming from her mouth had you squirming. You wanted to kiss that mouth so bad right now. Squeezing your thighs together wasn’t helping anymore, so you slid your hands into your underwear and began rubbing your mound to find some friction. You sighed and Bobs eyes opened. He took in the sight of you working your bud and his eyes widened while he still kissed Phoenix.

“Don’t worry about me Bobby, focus on her. You’re doing great.”

What happened next happened so fast you almost missed it. Bobs hands reached under Nat’s ass and lifted her off the ground. Two steps and he had her flung onto the bed on her back. Before either of you could say anything, Bob laid on his stomach and began kissing the inside of Natashas thighs, first one and then the other. Her head was now lying next to you on the mattress, and she smiled at you with so much heat in her brown orbs.

“Baby, I think he’s a fast learner.” She hissed as his mouth began to lap at the outside of her smooth slit.

“I think you’re right sweet girl.” You said with a smile before reaching over to gently remove some hair from Natashas forehead. You continued to rub yourself, enjoying every saccharine sound falling from your girlfriend’s mouth.

“God I want this pussy so bad. Tell me Natasha. Tell me I can eat your pussy?” Bob practically growled from between her tanned legs. Nat bucked her hips as she grabbed his hair and pulled him all the way in, his tongue beginning an all-out assault of her clit. Her back arched and you couldn’t help yourself. Your free hand grabbed a handful of Natashas right breast and began to knead it. She was making a range of feral noises now that had you pick up the pace in your own underwear.

“Bob, Bob, yes Bob. Right there, that’s perfect. Suck my clit, oh oh yes like that. Ughh” her back was arching now and you knew she was getting close. Natasha loved nothing more than having her pussy eaten. It was your favorite thing to do to her and you had to focus on something else to keep from joining Bob on the action.

“Shes getting close Bob. Fuck her. Let her cum on your cock.” You instructed as you removed your hand from Natashas breast. He lapped a few more times at her opening before sliding up her body and layering her breasts with kisses and nips of his teeth. Natashas hands were everywhere, his hair, scratching his shoulders and biceps. Natasha was a babbling mess of want and need.

“Robert Floyd if you don’t fuck me now I’ll, I’ll” Nat trailed off as he moved the head of his cock to her maidenhead. Bob’s face hovered over Nats briefly before he looked up at you, his face searching for permission.

“Make her feel good Bob.” You nudged and that was all the encouragement he needed. Bob slid his cock into Natasha and she let out a loud moan that sent your head spiraling. You needed more relief than this, you were so wet. As Bob began moving in and out of Natasha you reached over to the bedside table and pulled out your tiny bullet, pressing the button and practically shoving it down your panties. The buzzing went unnoticed as Bob and Nat continued to fuck on the bed next to you.

“Don’t let things get stale Bob, move her legs, let her feel you at different angles.” Bob growled into the crook of Natashas neck before he pushed back onto his knees. He threw Natashas legs onto his shoulders and grabbed her hips, lifting her up as he started to pick up the pace, bumping into her pussy with more pressure. She was becoming a loud, vulgar mess, practically screaming obscenities as her hands grabbed ahold of the bars above her head. The mess in your own panties grew with every shout Nat released into the thick air as you moved the bullet back and forth over your sensitive nub.

“Phoenix, cum baby. Cum on my cock.” Bob bellowed. He released her hips and grabbed each of her ankles. He spread her legs wide and really leaned into the fucking. Natasha just gasped repeatedly, no longer forming any words.  You knew she was close when she became incoherent like this.

“That’s it Bobby, let her have it. She’s ready. Make her cum.”

Bob released one of Natashas legs and put his fingers in her mouth to lick before moving them to her clit and rubbing fast and furiously on it while fucking her hard. A few moments later and Natasha was grabbing at anything and everything as she hollered out her orgasm. “I’m gonna cum. Oh yes Bob fuck I’m coming.” She let out the deepest, most feral screech as Bob fucked her through it. You were close to your own release and could practically see stars now. You realized Bob was looking at you while he continued to move in and out of Nat, slowing his pace. “She’s such a good girl. You’re so lucky.” He huffed and you looked down into her ravaged eyes as you quietly came, creaming all over your bullet. You leaned in to kiss her smoothly before looking back up at Bob.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself Bob. You did so good getting Natasha there. Now move her how you want her so you can cum.” Natasha whimpered while Bob looked briefly contemplative. Then he removed his cock and hooked his finger in the air, beckoning Natasha to rise to him. Slowly and with wet matted hair, she did as she was told. With both on their knees he kissed her lightly, cupping her face, before he used his hands to work her around and onto all fours, her perfect ass up in the air.  Natasha was practically face to face with you now and grinning through a haze.

As Bob slid into her pussy, Natasha whispered up at you “This was a great idea.” Then Bob grabbed her hair in one hand and her hip in the other and began pounding into her. You watched Nats face melt into anguished pleasure as Bob began to rumble into the void. With her eyes firmly locked on yours Bob shouted “Fuck yeah” as he came hard into your girlfriend’s pussy. His body continued to push back and forth with his release. As he slowed his pace, he freed Natasha's’ hair, and you moved in to give her a gentle kiss. Bob leaned down, still attached to Phoenix, and peppered her shoulder blades and upper back with light kisses. Bob whispered into Natashas back “Thank you.” Then he slid out of her and sat back so that she could collapse onto the pillows next to you.

Natasha giggled, rolling over onto her side. “Come here, handsome.” And she motioned for him to lay down behind her. Bob did as he was told, molding his front to her back and wrapping his arm around her stomach as his head hit the pillow behind hers. You chuckled at the sight. Your girl was quite proud of herself, and you knew that once Bob left you would get to have your way with her as well. It was going to be a long night for your needy girl.

“Bobby, I think you’re ready to take Rebecca for a ride. How do you feel?” you asked. He had his face buried in Natashas hair at the base of her neck and he rolled back just enough to look at you. A goofy grin met his lips. “I can’t fucking wait.” And all three of you laughed.

“She won’t know what hit her.” Natasha added as she wriggled back into him further. “Also, this is the best part. The snuggles and praise after its over.”

He raised his head to prop it up in his hand and with a peck on her cheek he said “Thank you for sharing yourself with me. I feel much better about this now, and you were so perfect. You’re both excellent teachers. I can’t believe I’ve gone so long without this. What was I thinking?” Natashas grin grew even bigger.

“Don’t sell yourself short anymore Bob. Just like in the air, you’re a 10 in the sack. Gave all new meaning to don't think, just do." He shared a look with you and you both shook your heads with a laugh. He kissed her shoulder again, then got up and dressed, placing his glasses on his face last. In the dim light he came around the bed and kissed the top of your head, thanking you once again for your help. As he made his way back around the bed to head for the door, Natasha sat up and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“Bob” she said coyly with a sinful expression, “If things don’t work out with Rebecca, I don’t mind doing this again. If you ever need or want extra practice.” He just shook his head and smirked. You shared a look with him that communicated the same thing: This woman was wonderful and also going to be the death of you both. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

“Remember, this didn’t happen. See you tomorrow, Nat.” And with a wink he left the two of you alone in the room.

“Natasha Trace, you are so bad.” You said with a playful pinch to her side. She rolled over laughing and grabbed you until you were anchored on top of her.

“I know. And you love me for it. Now get over here and show much how much you love me for it.” And you did. All night long.

[nysocboy]

The Feast of the Seven Fishes: Most of the tropes I hate, but I liked it anyway.

 The Feast of the Seven Fishes just dropped on Netflix.  All I know is that it's a Christmas movie starring Skyler Gisondo, so the likelihood of gay characters or even subtexts is minimal.  I'm going to watch anyway

Scene 1: Beautiful establishing shots of a mining town in West Virginia, winter 1983.  Tony (Skyler Gisondo) is painting by the river and gazing at his acceptance letter from a prestigious art school.  Angelo (Andrew Schultz, left) and his penis, "Mr. Boner,: stop by to tell him about a party with girls desperate to have sex with any guy who asks.  "Nope."

Well, how about coming along on his date?  There will be extremely horny girls there, too. "Nope."  If I didn't know from the plot synopsis that he has two girlfriends, I'd have pegged Tony as gay.

Scene 2: Back in his shabby working-class home, Pap tries to get Tony drunk on homemade hooch. We cut to a super-elegant mansion, where a super-elegant rich girl named Beth yells at her even-richer  boyfriend Prentice (Allen Williamson, left) for backing out of his promise to spend Christmas with the family.  He's going skiing with his friends instead. Prentice, baby, the first rule of relationships -- never leave them alone at Christmas. They'll be with someone else by Boxing Day.

Mom is upset: "You'll never land a rich husband with that attitude!  Like all men, he prefers the company of other men."  So all men are gay?  Beth wants a husband who will spend time with her.  That's what gay bffs are for, girlfriend.

Scene 3: Beth hanging out with her Italian-American friend, complaining about this whole "get a rich husband" thing.  They smoke pot.  Meanwhile, Tony's Uncles Carmine and Frankie (Ray Arbruzzo) are stocking up on booze, when they see Tony's ex, Katie, throwing herself at a truck driver.  They discuss her boobs for several minutes before getting around to complaining about her post-breakup downward spiral.

Cut to Juke (Josh Helman, left) telling his buds about the Feast of the Seven Fishes, although they obviously already know.  He stops to complain about not having a girlfriend, which is especially tough at Christmas. Foreshadowing -- ten to one he gets with Katie.

Scene 4: Rich-girl Beth and her friend,  incredibly high, stare at the menu at a hot dog restaurant, trying to decide what to order.  How about hot dogs?  They discuss going to a party tonight, but all of the parties are full of girls desperate to have sex with any boy who asks, so they'll get groped and prodded all the time. "Well, maybe I'll do a little groping," the friend jokes.  Ok, this is a lesbian.

Nope. "I've been dating this guy and his penis." Wait -- her boyfriends are  "Come along on my date tonight" Angelo and Mr. Boner. And they have this cousin: "Cute, nice, smart..."  A gay guy would immediately ask "How big is his cock?"  Maybe Rich-girl Beth could dump her Christmas-hating boyfriend for Tony? Or at least seduce him and then dump him on New Year's Day? 

Scene 5: At his parents' grocery store, Tony yells at Vince (Cameron Rostami) for being late. They argue and fight until Dad breaks them up and yells at Tony for being too hard on the kid. So, baby brother?  They discuss his future running the family business.  Uh-oh, Tony hasn't told the folks about art school!   

 Cut to Vince walking home.  His Uncles, who were buying booze and discussing Katie's boobs  earlier, give him a ride. See how intricately everybody is interconnected?

They arrive at Tony's house in time for dinner.  Dad yells at them for not bringing any "v.o."  "Well, you didn't ask for any."  "It's Christmas -- we always get v.o."  The family so far consists of Dad, Mom, Grandma, two uncles, Vince, Juke, Tony, Angelo, and his penis.

Meanwhile,  Tony, Cousin Angelo, his penis, and the friend (Sarah) are on their way to pick up Rich-girl Beth.  They discuss the horrors of Catholic school, with those sadistic nuns, and then wonder why Beth would be into an Italian.  "Is she getting extra credit in anthropology class."

How about that? I'm out of space.  You know what's going to happen, right?  Tony and Beth, Juke and Katie, the end.

Beefcake: None.  But no half-naked girls either, not even at the strip club where Katie works (we just see the back entrance).

Other Sights: Beautiful exteriors and a lot of food cooking, mostly the seven kinds of seafood traditionally eaten on Christmas Eve.

Gay Representation:  No, except for an occasional line that could be taken as suggestive.  No homophobia either, except for an occasional "fruit."

Plot: Minimal conflict: Grandma doesn't like Beth because she thinks all Protestant girls are prostitutes, Beth's mom and boyfriend try to get her back, Tony breaks the news of art school.  Very predictable, to the point of being clunky. Of course Tony-Beth and Juke-Katie become couples. 

My Grade: This movie has most of the tropes I hate: "small towns are superior to cities," "family is everything," "girls are the meaning of life," and "gay people do not exist."  But I still liked it.  B-

There are some butts and dicks on the NSFW version of this review.

[feuervogel]

I posted 1,843 times in 2022

That's 378 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (1%)

1,830 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sophiamcdougall

@edgeofpanic

@ironedorchid

@dirtyzucchini

@bossymarmalade

I tagged 1,824 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#cats - 98 posts

#lol - 72 posts

#art by op - 65 posts

#tumblr - 54 posts

#tik toks - 53 posts

#art - 52 posts

#memes - 46 posts

#humor - 33 posts

#uk politics - 28 posts

#hellsite (affectionate) - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#especially since my sister had a completely different relationship with her and wouldn't understand if i talked to her about it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Recent media viewing

I decided to open up Netflix the other day and watch the Sandman adaptation. It's as good as everyone has been saying it is! And episode 5 has some gross bits that you'll see coming if you're paying attention (also, the nice black lady and her dog don't die, if you're worried about that). The Corinthian is EVEN CREEPIER in live action.

I spent a lot of time thinking "God, that actor looks and sounds familiar" whenever the Corinthian was on screen, but I looked him up and he wasn't in anything else I've seen, so I guess he's just got That Kind Of Face (or at least lower half of it, since he's got dark glasses on 95% of the time.)

While I was on Netflix, they showed me recommendations, as algorithms do, and I browsed the anime selection to see if there was anything to add to my (extremely long) watchlist.

I decided to watch Tekken: Bloodline, because deep in my heart of hearts, I love 2D fighting games. Not at all because I've been a JinHwo shipper since the early 2000s, nope. Anyway, it's a Netflix original, originally voiced in English. The voice acting ranges from fine (Jin, Hwoarang, Nina, Paul) to cringe (Jun, Xiaoyu) to comical (Heihachi), and for some completely unknown reason, Heihachi's assistant uses weeb-Japanese and says "hai" when she could say "yes, sir." (Like, this is the ONLY Japanese in the show. I'm not counting uses of sensei, because that's been borrowed into English as a martial arts term, or the time Paul says "Mishima Zaibatsu," because that's been in the US versions of the game since forever.)

Is it any good? It's not bad... It's basically the plot of Tekken 3, with references to 1&2, with Jin finding out about his family and Heihachi being a total asshole (I mean, duh). The character designs are weird, like their faces are too small for their necks and chins are too pointy, and somehow Jin looks like Heero Yuy in profile. I laughed a couple times (Paul (or maybe Nina): You two are friends? Jin & Hwoarang (unison): NO!) and may be on the way to shipping Jin/Hwo/Xiaoyu because they're ADORABLE.

When I got my new computer for Xmas, it came with a free 3-month trial of Apple TV. I didn't do anything about it until they sent me an email that it would go away if I didn't use it, then I signed up. There's actually a good bit of good stuff on there, so I'm keeping it for 4.99 a month.

Severance: suuuuper creepy SF mystery/thriller? where people can sign up to get implants that sever their work lives from their home lives so they can work on something so secret, even their work-selves don't know what it is. Season 1 ends with a massive cliffhanger that was extremely brave, because S2 hadn't been confirmed yet. (It is now.) It stars the guy from Parks & Rec and guest stars Christopher Walken.

The Essex Serpent: based on a book, apparently. Tom Hiddleston plays a vicar who lives out in the wilds in the 1880s or so; Claire Danes is a recently widowed paleontologist. Hiddles is utterly charming, as always; Danes is a bit flat, as always (I've always liked her, but she has about 2 expressions: confused and sad). There's a doctor who wants to date her, and her BFF/maid ALSO wants to date her, but she's only got eyes for the vicar (who's married, of course). Anyway, she hears rumors of a sea monster in the river and goes to investigate it, which is where she meets the vicar and so on. You can tell it's going to be a romance, but that part is somehow not compelling.

For All Mankind: space race AU where the Soviet Union gets to the moon first and NASA has to catch up. A lot of the real-world timeline is changed in ways that are good (space shuttles! moon base!) and bad (USSR doesn't collapse). In season 3, there is an extremely honest depiction of Gay Life in the 90s and of the within-group politics of assimilation or not. I lived through it (before I knew I was queer, or admitted it anyway), and it still punched me in the gut. We've made so much progress in the last 30 years that it's easy to forget just how terrible it was back then and that Don't Ask Don't Tell was the progressive compromise. It made me think about all the puriteens here on tunglr dot com and the stupid discourse about ~flawed media~ and ~problematique~ stuff. They should watch it and maybe fucking learn some history.

The end of season 3 is dfjhadkjghk;djkhgojwhjdfxhvjh basically and season 4 can't come soon enough.

5 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#4

G witch ep 6

That was extremely fucked up.

They're speed-running all the super fucked-up bits from UC and 00. Good job.

9 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

#3

I have a very specific request, and I'm sure someone here can point me in the direction of acquiring this. (These, I guess; there are two specific fannish things I've wanted for a while.)

The litany against fear, in its entirety, in calligraphy or similar. Not twee. (I'm not actually into Dune, but having basically cognitive behavioral therapy on my wall might help me with my stupid anxiety.)

The Discworld DEATH bit "to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape", with or without the rest of the speech. (It's a long speech and would make the piece too busy.) Not twee. Potentially illustrated with silhouettes in the background behind the text.

I have no artistic ability nor any skill at graphic design, and I lack the patience for calligraphy. Thinking about embroidery or cross-stitch makes my fingers hurt. (My mom was an avid cross-stitcher and taught me when I was a kid. I could never hold the needle properly.)

Type of item: poster up to A2 size

Price: up to around 20 € each

13 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

#2

I can't be the only person who wants directors or whoever makes these decisions let Oscar Isaac have his gorgeous salt and pepper hair. A grown-ass man, silver at the temples, charming smile. Please?

Also I saw a comment about Dune that said they "aged him up" to play Duke Leto, and it took everything I had in me not to comment "oh, you mean they didn't make him dye his hair?"

32 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Been playing Disco Elysium and I tried on some new pants.

[ID: screenshot from the video game Disco Elysium

YOU - I like regular, normal things.

VOLITION - Mhm, I know you do. These interisolary pants are like wearing a perfect *compromise* in your nether regions. No one will call the Moralintern on you like this, that's for sure.

You're a little more moralist now, buddy. A little more *normal*. Even if you didn't want to be.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Makes sense. This is what wearing boring office trousers does to you.

end ID]

39 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[moonstrider9904]

Hello, brilliant Moon! I was just thinking about you today for various reasons so feel free to ignore all of this right here BUT I'm about to be maid of honor at my best friend's wedding the Saturday before Halloween and she's marrying an absolute jackass. Think immature, self absorbed Admiral Rampart (including the Imperial prejudices even though he thinks he's so progressive, and without the ability to plan or take care of himself, since my bff refers to him as her other toddler, the first toddler being her dog). I cannot stand him, but she loves him so I'm keeping my mouth shut because I'm here for support (and she would also not listen to me if I told her she was making a mistake, she really really really wants to get married).

ANYWAY, one of the things getting me through this whole event is the mental dialogue of all members of the Bad Batch, but especially Crosshair and Tech, mocking the crap out of this dude. Maul also has some choice words. But I also think of your beautiful work with Crosshair, Maul, and the witch character which I will probably re-read in my downtime during wedding stuff since it will be spoopy season. That story is perfect and I hope you add more to it, but PLEASE do not sweat it if the muse is gone on that one. Writing comes and goes. Everything you share is a joy and you have loads of talent.

Now please go have a treat because you deserve it, especially if you just read everything I wrote.

May, I am always so very happy to hear from you!!

I can understand the frustration of seeing your bff go off with someone who is... not ideal... and if you're comparing him to Rampart then hoooo I'd smack him. But I very much admire your will to support your friend, I think that's very noble and speaks very well of you!

Now, in this house we know Crosshair would mock the very absolue crap outta him! He'd make a day of it and show off his snarkiest remarks, and I think Tech's mocking would be so darn elegant--you know how there are insults that are insults without actually saying anything insulting? I feel like that would be Tech's way of expressing his feelings

Maul, oh my dramatic unhinged king, he'd certainly join forces with these two to form some more chaos.

Thank you for your beautiful compliments and your encouragement!! These days, with the amount of WIPs that I have brought upon myself (oopsies) I kinda switch between focus. Like, this week I've updated four new chapters in Moonwalker after literal months of not touching it lol.

But I've been drawing lots of inspiration for my other works, and just like you said, with spooky season around the corner, I'm sure I'll be updating Night Personified soon enough! :3

Thanks so much :3 I'm off to have a Saturday evening nap with netflix in the background, I think I need it. You go on and have a treat as well!! You're so sweet and kind and you def deserve it too :3

[seobseobs]

merry kiss-mas

my secret-santa present to beloved @juunnies !! <3

sorry it was closer to new year than christmas TT when i started writing, my parents had this sudden vacation planned 😭💀 so i ended up writing this in a rush, n it might not be as good as i expected it to be... but i hope u enjoy regardless!!!! 🎄💗💞💗💗💞💞💞💞💗💗💗💞

bff!yeonjun x reader (no prns) • 1.2k

romantic; fluff, angst, an attempt on thriller, teenie tiny humour, bffs to lovers au

[ nothing can stop your christmas with bff!yeonjun . not even serial killer!beomgyu . not proofread , a snip of taening , never a safe space for ppl who romanticize serial killers 🙁🤨 ] - reposted

back to suite

"have you heard?" is what yeonjun greets you with as soon as you open the door. letting him in and immediately locking the door after, you huff in frustration, "no shit. that's the only thing everyone is talking about"

choi beomgyu.

the name that would make anyone in your neighbourhood stands frozen- literally too because it's winter right now haha.. alright not funny. no one knows exactly what he looks like. the only thing people know is that he is a tall, handsome, "friendly" guy. well, friendly until he's not.

technically, there should have been a face by now but the guy beomgyu is just so good at hiding away from the cctvs and even with eye witnesses, the portait drawings from them do not match at all. you've seen the drawings and you have to admit that they're all just lost causes in the art department although it really bothers you to no end with a faceless name as the residents' only warning.

but you and yeonjun decides that no serial killer is going to ruin your christmas. "or even if he does, we'll die together okay", is what yeonjun teasingly adds the other day.

speaking of yeonjun, you only just now notice the neatly wrapped present in his hand. the wrapping paper makes you cry, it being dark green with shirtless six-pack santa as it pattern. your bestfriend who takes note of your sour expression lightly shoves you in the arm and throws you a wink, "like what you see?"

you let out a 'yuck' as you finally make your way towards the tv, yeonjun trailing behind. it was a shame you don't have a fireplace for the "christmas vibes" but you don't mind it that much.

sitting down, your best friend immediately reaches for the remote tv and starts scrolling through your netflix account. you and yeonjun has this christmas tradition of binging netflix until one of you knocks out. and only the next morning, you would open each other's gifts and exchange christmas wishes or just random talks really. you realize it's not very christmas-sy but it has been the most comforting christmas that way.

or maybe because you're with yeonjun. cheesy, you wince internally.

"y/n babe, what about 'love hard'?", yeonjun leans over to you without turning his head. "hmm? what is it about?" you turn your head towards the tv.

catfish. broken hearts. fake dating. sounds christmas enough.

"sure", you finally answer and he lets out a small 'yes' and proceeds to grab the nearest blanket (yes, nearest because you have a lot of blankets) to throw around the two of you. four hours in and another random christmas movie playing, yeonjun pokes your arm.

you turn to him, grateful that you didn't voice out a "what is it?" because with this proximity, you're sure you would've paused your sentence and yeonjun would've definitely be acting all cocky and shit and tease the hell out of you. you raise your eyebrows and his eyes gleam in excitement, like he's about to ask you to bake cookies together this instant at 1am.

"do you wanna bake cookies?"

no wonder you're his bestfriend.

"yeonjun bestfriend. babe. baby. bitch. i really love you but i don't have butter right now so we can't", yeonjun grunts at your response and knocks his forehead to yours lightly. (you wonder why you're not dead yet in that moment.)

he lets out a whine, "but i want cookies~~" "and that's your problem", you cup his cheeks and push his face away from yours, showing him off a big mocking grin. "but...", he pleads once again, hands reaching out to cup your cheeks to imitate you. my heart is about to fucking explode, you bitch.

"damn bro, are we about to kiss?" is your attempt to distract yourself from the tingling sensation in your chest but yeonjun's reply did nothing to help,

"wait.. so i can kiss you?"

krik.

krik.

krik.

he caresses your cheeks with his thumbs, "y/n?"

you purse your lips, the question you ask came more awkward than you imagined and you really want to slap yourself for throwing such a joke in the first place, "you... want.. to kiss.. me?"

"yeah, so can i?", he bashfully smiles.

"sureeeee...? i mean why not haha. ha. as bestfr-" "as lovers, you ass" "damn, you like me?" yeonjun makes a duh expression at you and snickers, "why the fuck then would i want to kiss you?" "for fun?" "you've got to be kidding me" "i don't know??? how kissing works?? anyway why are we taking so long, aren't kisses supposed to be shor-"

your words got muffled as yeonjun places his lips on yours. so that's how kissing works... this is.. kind of nice.

reciprocating his touch, you tilt your face a bit to deepen the kiss. yeonjun's lips on yours feels like home, like it belongs. makes you want to be those kind of couple you and yeonjun would pretend to throw up over. this year's christmas is without doubt, the best christmas you ever had.

merry kiss-mas everyone.

"oi y/n, wake up"

that's not yeonjun isn't it?

"go away", you wail your arm in the air in an attempt to shoo the person away. a sigh escapes the person's lips as you feel the couch dips beside you, "but you're the one making breakfast todayyy.. and i'm hungryyy.." your eyes flutter open at the mention of breakfast and there lo and behold, your roommate kai. you almost forgot you have a roommate.

you furrow your eyebrows after scanning your surroundings and kai notices, doing the same to search for the source of your distress.

"where's yeonjun?"

his mouth forms an 'o' shape before he nods to himself. kai's lips curves into a small smile as he pats your shoulders, "you must have missed him huh. i miss my taehyun too y/n but life goes on, i'm sure they'll be proud of our progress up until right now"

"what the hell you're on, kai? you're talking as if he's dead. he was here last night, that's why i asked. don't be so dramatic lolll"

kai stops his patting and stares at you for a second before his gaze lowers to the ground,

"because he is, y/n"

huh?

"but he was here last night", you protest.

"y/n. he died three years ago. morning after christmas, he went to buy butter to make cookies for your first day as a couple or something like that but.. beomgyu.. got to him" your roommate explains and you have to hold yourself from laughing.

"so you're telling me yeonjun is dead because of butter?" you let out a chuckle.

"y/n i'm sorry..", he tries to console you by rubbing your back.

shaking your head to yourself, you smile, "who the hell dies because of butter.. that's so stupid...", your chest tightens, "so stupid...", your voice shakes at the end but you ignore it, ending it off with a humourless laugh.

"you're so stupid, yeonjun"

✒ hmmm... stares.. not really proud of this

[melismaticmadness]

INTERVIEW

Request: “Something in the lines of reader playing reggies gf on the shows s2 and she becomes bffs with charlie but people keep shipping them. Something in like interview style or so....”

Description: FLUFF

1811 Words

Warnings: one curse word!

Charlie x Reader, Featuring Jeremy

Hope you like it!!

Press was always an exciting time as an actor, but even more so with this cast because of what happened before press events for season one. Their virtual press was great, but you can tell how excited they all were to experience it together this time around. Julie and the Phantoms was the best job I had gotten since moving out to LA. Honestly, it could be my big break. I was playing opposite Jeremy as his love interest, but our off-screen relationship was strictly platonic. Obviously, he and Carolynn are married and she is the sweetest. Jeremy is more of a mentor to me.

I sat in between Charlie and Jeremy for our first interview of the day when a production assistant came in and prepped us for the topics for this interview. Each interview has a slightly different focus, so it’s helpful that we know before we get started. The soft-spoken man raddled off some talking points: Charlie’s sleeves, Jeremy’s new character arc, my relationships/experience joining the cast, and then all of us would have time to add in stories of our choice if there was time. Easy. This cast makes it really easy to connect and bond. They are a family and I am so lucky to be a member of it now.

What I didn’t expect was to get so close to Charlie during rehearsals and filming in Vancouver. The two of us were instantly inseparable. He came to watch my film on set, I came to watch him. We rehearsed our lines together almost every night after long days, and Owen even considered me his other roommate because of all the nights I was asleep on their couch. Hanging out with Charlie felt like we had known each other our entire lives, but it had only been about a year.

Interviewer: “So, y/n, you seem really well connected to this cast, even though you’re sort of the new kid in the group. Would you mind telling me how you felt about joining this project?”

Y/N: “Oh I definitely felt welcomed right into the group. I remember my first night in Vancouver, Charlie came to check out my apartment, Owen came too, and I remember Charlie and I trying to prank Owen when he fell asleep on the couch but it was an epic fail. We had water and shaving cream all over the floor and ourselves, oh my god it was a mess, but that’s kinda the proof of how fast I became part of the group. Night one and they were already including me in their fun. The same goes with the girls, Jadah, Madi, Sav, Tori- we immediately were meeting for breakfast before filming together and having movie nights. It was the best welcome I could have imagined, knowing how close they all were from last season.”

Interviewer: “Jeremy, what was it like having this new energy come in, especially to shake things up for your character Reggie, who really was much of the comedic relief last season, but now has this mutually flirty relationship with y/n’s character?”

Jeremy: “Well, it was great having y/n come in and it allowed us all to explore Reggie outside of his quirky one-liners. It’s not that hard acting opposite, y/n, the talent they bring in was insane and we got along really well so it made it a lot of fun exploring Reggie as somewhat of a ‘ladies man’.”

Interviewer: “Yes it was fun getting to see more of who Reggie is, or was? Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen season one, Reggie is dead. All the boys are dead. Anyway, speaking of seeing more of something- Charlie, I noticed the sleeves on all your shirts this season were barely there. Is this a Charlie characteristic that just carried over to show off or was this specifically written for Luke?”

Charlie: “Oh gosh, haha. I think it’s a little bit of both. I definitely bring a lot of myself to Luke, but even in season one, Soyon, our amazing costume and wardrobe supervisor, was cutting the sleeves off Luke’s shirts. I think it played into his 1995 bad boy persona, and now it’s just him.”

Y/N: “and you just like showing off...hahaha!”

Charlie: “If you got it, flaunt it!” With that, all three of us and the interviewer were cracking up laughing and Charlie was flexing which kept us going a minute longer.

Interviewer: “AH,” they sighed, “Y/N, the internet is freaking out about you, truly, because of some photos of you with Mr. Gillespie over here. Let me read some things for you - ‘my heart is broken because I can’t have Charlie, but at least y/n can. I ship it,’ under an Instagram photo of you two the caption reads ‘ship it so hard it’s like the Titanic,’ which is my favorite. It’s too funny. So my question is, what is going on here? Is there a secret showmance that you’re hiding behind Reggie?”

Charlie and I are now laughing hysterically again. I don’t think the interviewer realizes how nervous our laughing sounds compared to before, but hopefully, it’s not noticeable to fans or the rest of the cast. I wasn’t expecting to get questions about Charlie and my relationship when I was supposed to be talking about my character, the whole experience, and all my scenes with Jeremy.

Y/N: “Oh no, no, no. We are friends! Nothing is going on,” I looked over at Charlie who had his eyes locked on me most admiringly. He was going to let me handle this however I wanted. “Charlie and I just happened to click right away during rehearsals and now I feel like he’s the older brother I never had!”

Charlie looked a little hurt at that ‘brother’ comment, but he jumped in to echo what I had said.

Charlie: “Ya know, the fans are so great. They love to keep up with our lives and find little hidden clues in the show about the backstory, and I think that’s just what happened with our friendship. We’re best friends, we have so many inside jokes, we hang out a LOT. But, Nah, nothing is going on here. It’s cute though that they ship us! Look out, Jere! I’m stealing your girl!.”

Interviewer: “You heard it here first everyone, Mr. Gillespie isn’t off the market! Thank you all for your time today. Everyone make sure to check out season two of Julie and the Phantoms, now on Netflix!”

*****************************

After a long first day of press, I was finally walking back into my hotel room in New York when my phone went off.

I tossed my stuff on the couch and plopped down to see what I had missed all day. Charlie had just texted me asking to meet him on the roof.

“The roof?!” I grunted, “How did he even get on the roof?” Back out the door, I followed signs to the roof. Swinging the door open once I got up there, my breath was taken away. New York City right at dusk, with the cool breeze hitting me, was so beautiful.

“Gillespie, are we allowed to be up here?”

“Kenny said we’re less likely to be followed or have our picture taken together if we were up here and came up separately. So, if we get in trouble, it’s on Kenny...”

“The view is amazing. Not surprised Kenny knew about it.” I said as I went to look out over the glass barrier at the edge of the building. We looked out in silence for a minute or so when I heard Charlie exhale.

“Y/n, what was that today?” he said running his hands through his hair.

“What was what today?”

“That whole ‘Charlie is my brother’ thing,” he made his voice go up in pitch to mimic my voice when he said it and I could tell it was bugging him, but I didn’t know why.

“I was caught off guard...I mean we’re friends.. but I figured no one would believe that if I didn’t squash the rumors right there. Sorry if it was like, emasculating, or made it seem like you don’t have any game, lol.” I playfully hip bumped him to get him to laugh a little and it worked but there was still something on his mind.

“Char, is your manager upset with what I said? I can fix it tomorrow, I’ll figure something out-” I said tilting my head in front of his so he was looking at me instead of the view.

“No, y/n, no, it’s okay..” he hesitated, “but is that really what’s going on?”

It felt like the wind was knocked out of me at that moment and all I could do was slide my back down the glass and sit on the roof. My head was in my hands and I didn’t want to say the wrong thing next.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry if I caught you off guard,” Charlie said squatting down to my level. “I just thought..maybe you felt something, anything, telling you this was more than a friend to friend relationship..” Now he was rubbing my back. Damn, this boy is my best friend.

“Charlie, I- I don’t want to lose my job. I love working with you and with everyone,” I took a deep breath, “but I can’t say I never thought about it. I have definitely thought about it.”

“Okay, so what are you thinking in that head of yours?”

“I’m thinking that I care about you and that I have for a while but didn’t want to admit it to myself until now,” looking up at Charlie I could tell he was fighting to hold back a smile.

“Kenny, won’t fire you. I talked to him in LA before we went up to Vancouver because I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me because of how I felt.”

“You told him in LA?! He’s probably been watching us and laughing at us for MONTHS. Oh my god.”

“No, it’s cool. He just warned me to make sure I wanted to be more than friends because he didn’t want to lose you.”

“Wow. Okay.” The weight I didn’t even know I was holding, had been lifted off my shoulders. “The fans really do know us better than we know ourselves.”

We both laughed and Charlie finally settled down right next to me.

“Look, I’m not saying we rush into anything. I knew I had to say something before the opportunity was gone. Now that the show’s out, you’re going to have guys banging down your door for a date.”

“I guess it’s a good thing the only guy I am looking for is you then, hmm?”

“Thank god for that interview…” Charlie said under his breath.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // APRIL 22

Kidnappings, murders, and million-dollar heists, oh my! My favorite pop culture from April featured quite a few crimes and quite a few star-studded casts. Natch, most of my picks are narrative movies, and now that Oscar season is over, I’m back to theater for brand-spanking new releases. But you can also find two documentaries (okay, 1.5 documentaries), a selection of live performances, some long reads, and of the Beatles on this list, so if crime doesn’t pay your interests well, there’s still plenty more to entertain and make you think this month.

April Crowd-Pleasers

1. Death on the Nile (2022)

My love for Agatha Christie adaptations is well-documented, so it’s no surprise the latest adaptation was right up my alley. (Er, right up my river?) Kenneth Branagh’s detective Hercule Poirot is investigating Annette Bening, Russell Brand, Gal Gadot, Rose Leslie, Sophie Okonedo, Jennifer Saunders, Letitia Wright, and more, and there are nearly as many twists as cast members. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. Ambulance (2022)

I could not capture in words how delightful Ambulance was, but I tried really hard with phrases like "majestic chaos" and "symphony of mayhem.” Read my full review for ZekeFilm about Michael Bay’s latest, which is exactly what you want from him if you don’t care about bots, body builders, or Benghazi. It’s the first movie I’ve seen twice in theaters since Jojo Rabbit in 2019, and it’s great to be back, baby! Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 6/10

3. Olivia Rodrigo: driving home 2 u (a SOUR film) (2022)

Is this “documentary” shameless advertising for its star, Olivia Rodrigo? You bet. Is it also a collection of killer performances, fun making-of-the-album clips, and gorgeous Southwest vistas? You also bet. If you’re a fan of Rodrigo’s debut album SOUR, don’t miss this concert rockumentary that’s a time capsule of teenage-dom and of coming into your own artistic voice. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

4. Nine to Five (1980)

Ever been frustrated with management at your office job? Nine to Five is the catharsis you need. (Not that I’m speaking from experience.) Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton, and Lily Tomlin are fed up with their boss Dabney Coleman’s harassment, mismanagement, and general unpleasantness, and after a few misunderstandings, it turns into…kidnapping? I love a plot that escalates to bananas, and all three of these ladies (and that Oscar-nominated theme song) are in top form. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

5. Brewster’s Millions (1985)

April means baseball is back, and that means it’s time for baseball movies between games. I rewatched some of my favorites this month (like Moneyball and Take Me Out to the Ball Game), and Brewster’s Millions was my favorite of the new ones I checked out. Minor leaguer Richard Pryor has to spend $30 million in 30 days to get a $300 million inheritance, but he can’t tell anyone (including BFF John Candy and manager Jerry Orbach) what’s going on. Hijinks ensue! Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. The Lost City (2022)

What’s more enjoyable than a Sandra Bullock rom-com? We’ve gone without them for over a decade, and this action-adventure is a refreshing and hilarious return to form. Bullock is a fading romance novelist, Daniel Radcliffe is the eccentric billionaire who kidnaps her, and Channing Tatum is her handsome dum-dum cover model who tries to rescue her. Oh, and Brad Pitt shows up—why not? Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

 7. John Mulaney: From Scratch Tour (2022)

If you get the chance, don’t miss John Mulaney live. He performed a 90-minute set at Denver’s Red Rocks Amphitheatre, and I laughed so hard I cried—what more can you hope for? I also left understanding rehab and addiction better than I when I sat down (see his recent SNL monologue for a taste), which made it feel like an intimate sharing of his most vulnerable moments as much as a comedy show. It’s a fascinating art-imitates-life performance I hope makes it to Netflix soon so I can say I’m not interested in science “from magnets to ducks” and people know what I’m referencing.

8. SNL Round Up

Season 47 of Saturday Night Live is getting close to wrapping—don’t miss these before the finale.

"Paw Patrol" (4714 with Oscar Isaac)

"Home Repair Show “ (4714) — I’m not sure why, but Kyle Mooney’s dry delivery made me laugh so hard I cried

"Short-A** Movies" (4716 with Jerrod Carmichael) - Pardon their French, but I am fully on board with this category of movies

"Story" (4716)

"Post-Covid Game Show" (4716)

"Cabaret Night" (4717 with Jake Gyllenhaal) - Pardon a few NSFW comments, but I really connected with this embracing of our mediocre achievements like finishing a chapstick before losing it

"Black Eyed Peas" (4718 with Lizzo)

9. Double Muppet Feature: The Muppet Movie (1979) + The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

Everyone handles stress differently. I handle it by watching Muppets movies and eating ice cream for dinner. The Muppet Movie (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10) chronicles the origin story of Kermit meeting his pals, and The Great Muppet Caper (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10) sees Kermit and Co. solving a mystery about missing diamonds. (Caper would also been a great double feature with Death on the Nile.) John Cleese, Elliott Gould, Charles Grodin, Bob Hope, Cloris Leachman, Carol Kane, Steve Martin, Richard Pryor, Diana Rigg, Orson Welles, and more make appearances, and I sleep better at night when I lie in bed thinking of the Muppets instead of work. 

10. Hotel Artemis (2018)

Jodie Foster and Dave Bautista run a secret Los Angeles hospital for criminals including Jeff Goldblum, Sofa Boutella, Sterling K. Brown, Jenny Slate, and Zachary Quinto. And on a night when the whole city is rioting, what could go wrong? While the dialogue is a little too obsessed with exposition (seems like we could’ve shown instead of telling some of these things), the plot coasts on the cast’s charisma into something fun. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10

April Critic Picks

1. Rushmore (1998)

Another Wes Anderson film, another romance with an age gap. Jason Schwartzman’s intense prep schooler obsessed with extracurriculars is a car wreck you can’t look away from as he attempts to beat out Bill Murray for the affections of a teacher at Rushmore Academy (Olivia Williams). The aesthetically-pleasing eye of Wes Anderson transforms a story of teenage ambition, rebellion, and revenge into something entirely charming. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. Double Feature - Classic Screwball Rom-Coms: Midnight (1939) + Ball of Fire (1941)

In Midnight (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), chorus girl Claudette Colbert and taxi driver Don Ameche are crossed in love in Paris as she schemes to marry rich. In Ball of Fire (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9.5/10), nightclub singer Barbara Stanwyck and encyclopedia writer Gary Cooper are crossed in love in New York as she schemes to marry a mobster (Dana Andrews). Pair these for an evening full of witty banter and unexpected love triangles.

3. Hamilton

Guys, it took two extra years, but I’ve finally seen Hamilton, and it lives up to the hype. That’s it—that’s the tweet.

4. Good Reads

When I travel, I dig into my Pocket to catch up on longer reads. To and from Denver I dug into thoughts on the chaos the Internet creates in our culture and the plot holes of…Air Bud. Yes, Air Bud.

“Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid,” atlantic.com (2022) 

“Stop Firing the Innocent,” atlantic.com (2020)

“The New Puritans,” atlantic.com (2021)

“Frankly, My Dear, the Whole Thing is a Stench in My Nostrils,” ListOfNote.com (2022)

“Hundreds of Ways to Get S#!+ Done—and We Still Don’t,” wired.com (2021)

“How an Ivy League School Turned Against a Student,” NewYorker.com (2022)

“Watch John Oliver Unravel the Legal Arguments of Air Bud,” vulture.com (2022)

“Viola Davis Says Critics ‘Serve No Purpose’ but We Do – and It’s Not to Sell Tickets,” TheGuardian.com (2022)

5. The Endless Summer (1966)

Get yourself in a summer #mood with a documentary about surfing in the ‘60s! Filmmaker Bruce Brown is following two surfers searching for an endless summer, following warm weather around the globe through Africa, Asia, and the Pacific. While a few moments have aged weirdly, these surfers are approaching new waves and cultures with an open mind and heart, ready to make new friends and improve their skills on the board. Be careful or you might head out the door with no itinerary or suitcase because this doc will ignite such a strong wanderlust! Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

6. Norma Rae (1979)

Grab your union pins, cardboard, and markers—we have a movie you need to get behind! This month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I checked out Sally Field’s first Oscar-winning role. In the Gilmore Girls episode we’re covering, Lorelai is sticking it to the man just like Norma Rae (or should we say Crystal Lee Sutton?), so we’re sticking Sally Field, a tiny North Carolina town, and a union movement to your podcast feed. Listen to the ep. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

7. Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

I can find a few quibbles with this sci-fi action comedy (e.g. few of those NSFW moments felt more provocative than consistent with the theme), but this genre-defying adventure is an ADHD trip through what-ifs, kung fu, hot dog fingers, googly eyes, and bagels, which is to say, I have zero idea how to explain this movie about Michelle Yeoh hopping through the multiverse. (Mild spoiler alert) “In another life I would've really like doing taxes and laundry with you,” is one of the most honest, romantic lines I've heard in a minute. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

8. Paul McCartney!

After listening to the Licorice Pizza soundtrack on repeat for weeks, I had to do a deep dive into the source of one of my favorite tracks on the compilation. After listening to McCartney (1970), Ram (1971, with Linda McCartney), Band on the Run (1973, with the Wings), McCartney II (1980), and Flaming Pie (1997), I have come to some unexciting conclusions:

Paul McCartney writes great love songs

Paul McCartney writes great lyrics

Paul McCartney is a great musician

Keep reading Crowd vs. Critic to stay up to date with hot takes and groundbreaking writing like this! 

Also this April…

On another episode of SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I checked out a movie and a show inspiring Paris’s work banter on Gilmore Girls: Working Girl and Just Shoot Me! Would the work-place banter in these productions really help her be a better server at Rory’s DAR event? We discuss if an average TV show is better or worse than a movie with some icky undertones and an award-winning theme song.

At ZekeFilm we watched major movies from the 1920s we missed. For me, it was the first talkie, The Jazz Singer. Read what has and hasn’t aged well from the musical, and see our team’s full selection of films (including a Best Picture winner and a John Ford classic) at ZekeFilm.org.

Photo credits: Hamilton, Good Reads, Paul McCartney. All others IMDb.com. 

[snowboiwinwin]

can i req for victon reaction when bff! s/o constantly confessing but they think of it as a joke until s/o distances and gets close w another member 👉👈

pls make it a fluff i dont want to cri lmAo

+ im so sorry if this is so detailed sksbskdm

+ take ur time and thank you!

Hi love! 🥰 Thank you so much for your request, I really appreciate it! I’m sorry it took me quite a while to finish this... I’m also sorry if they’re all repetitive! I hope you like it though! 🥺

--------------------------------------------------------

Seungsik:

i find it quite hard to figure this guy out tbh

obviously he is super kind and sweet, but i have no clue how he would react with his best friend confessing

as a friend he is  reliable, honest and very supportive

he is just a great shoulder to cry on

not someone to belittle you or not taking your worries serious

so obviously you fall for him... he is your rock

although he is the oldest and knows a bit about love

i think he would ignore every single signal you send him

like he would be absolutely oblivious and have no clue about your feelings

your confessions? he thinks they are a crazy prank you pull on him

and that really frustrates you... it also hurts ngl

so you decided to take a step back and try to get your feelings under control

but to no avail

Byungchan, the only one of the bunch who is able to tell you’re in love with their leader, tries his best to help you through this heartbreak and somehow manages to distract you with his funny antics

when Seungsik notices you coming over to the dorm less and less and Byungchan always talking about you... he starts to feel weird

maybe jealousy? he really doesn’t know

so he confronts you one day, as he is not one to get into conflicts with his children, and he does that in a very calm and mature manner

no screaming or shouting, just two grown-ups having a serious talk

again, you tell him;

“Seungsik, I. Am. In. Love. With. You! Can you finally be a grown-up about it and stop laughing at my face, accusing me of ‘pranking’ you?!”

he would be soooo taken aback cause

you love him? for real? tf? when did that happen?

but after the initial shock, he is quite relieved 

“I thought you were dating Byungchan... you almost broke my heart.”

you slap his shoulder lightly, crossing your arms and pouting

“you broke my heart first with you constant rejection!”

I’m sorry... but if you would let me, I would love to be your boyfriend. Cause I love you too.”

Seungwoo:

this baby would be SO confused

you constantly want to talk to him in private and then just say “i love you”

he will always reply with an “i love you too” and a big smile on his face

that you are actually confessing... well he really doesn’t get it

he thinks it’s just your way of platonically saying that you love him

and you might be too shy to say that in front of the guys

soooo yeah, he thinks you’re just being his great friend, making him feel loved

he obviously appreciates it and does not understand why these private conversations always seem to ruin your mood

Hanse is the one who kinda notices your sour mood whenever you had a talk with his bro

so of course he confronts you about it and you tell him the whole story

if anyone knows Seungwoo, it’s definitely the boys

and Hanse has actually great advice for you... or so you thought

“Seungwoo is VERY oblivious. Sadly, you will have to think of a grand gesture, or else he will just think of it of something friendly and platonic. Even if you would surprise him naked on a bed of roses... he would still be confused and not get that you’re in love with him.”

how are you supposed to do this? what kind of gesture is grand enough?

Hanse is no help in coming up with an actual plan, don’t get your hopes up

therefore you just go with the flow and ask yourself “what feels right?”

food is apparently the key to the heart, so you settle on a romantic picnic, at night!

Seungwoo is obviously surprised with how secretive you act and what brings you to the park at night

but when you sit him down and tell him sincerely about your plan and what made you do all of this

he is speechless

mind: blown

he did not see that coming

but after the initial shock has set in, he surprises you with a big smooch

“I love you too. Romantically as in my girlfriend.”

Chan:

he would know

and it wouldn’t be a secret that he knows

you have talked to him about it plenty of times

but when he explained that he doesn’t want a relationship just yet, you understood

putting labels on what you guys have, is making him anxious

he knows he can’t be there like a boyfriend should

so knowing he isn’t your boyfriend, pressured him a lot less

you promised you would wait until he was ready and that’s what you did

sometimes it got really frustrating and you tried to distract yourself by hanging out with Seungsik

he is such calm and gentle guy, not hyper like the rest (minus Hanse)

so most of your days are now spend with the leader, obviously very friendly dates, you are not looking for another guy to mess with your feelings

Chan of course noticed how you hung out more with his member than with him

and suddenly he started to fear losing you

because let’s be real, Seungsik is beautiful and he has a great personality

Chan then looked for Sejun and asked him for advice

he feels stupid - how can he say he isn’t ready for a relationship and then be jealous of you hanging out with other guys?

that is not fair on you at all

“channie! you are in love. we know, i know, everyone knows. why are you like that? go and get your lady, please!”

and although he wanted nothing more than to punch Sejun in the face, he decides to finally make your guys’ relationship official

when you arrive at the dorm, it’s show time

“Hey... I don’t wanna beat around the bush... I’m ready.”

“Ready for?”

“Ready to be your boyfriend.”

“What if I’m not ready to be your girlfriend?”

“Don’t mess with my feelings.”

“Joke, let’s make out.”

“I already regret it.... but hey, I love you.”

Sejun:

soooo you guys are a very special pair of friends

you guys have been inseparable since birth

but along the way, you guys decided to become friends with benefits

the rule: no catching feelings

and it worked out fine

until you kinda developed a small tiny crush on the beautiful man

but obviously this is a secret - you don’t want this arrangement to end

Sejun has also developed feelings but obviously you are not aware of that either

both of you are quite oblivious 

due to your guys’ arrangement, you never got your hopes up

but although Sejun fulfilled your needs, you still craved for love

and Chan was seemingly offering you that kind of love

you aren’t sure about that yet, but he has asked you out on a coffee run (date)

when Sejun found out, he was furious

because yes, you aren’t his girlfriend and no one knows you guys are sleeping with each other...

BUT how dare Chan make a move on his bestie?

and love of his life... tf?

after your date with Chan, which was so beautiful

you got a message from Sejun

typical booty call

kinda sad and hurt, you still walk towards the boys’ dorm

Chan is quite surprised to see you yet again but doesn’t ask too many questions

Sejun is already in his room, more than ready to get right into the chill part of netflix and chill

this time it feels different though

as if he is more caring

he handles you a lot gentler than usual

and is constantly asking if you’re okay

not that he usually isn’t caring but he is not as aware of your feelings during the process

after you guys are finished, he pulls you super close

also very unusual

after a while just cuddling, he finally speaks up

“I think I’m ready.”

“For what?”

“To go a step further.”

“... you wanna try anal?”

“WHAT?! NO!!! I wanna date you, you dumb idiot.”

“Okay, works fine by me. I wanna date you too.”

“Great, now shut up and kiss me.”

Hanse:

he is so in love with you

absolutely head over heels in love

but he does not dare to say a word

to him, he is bad news and you definitely deserve better than him

but that’s bullshit cause Hanse is god-like

his confidence hits an all time low when it comes to you

with you it’s different

when he is with you he feels loved, he loves himself and he just enjoys your presence

Hanse knows whenever he hangs out with you, there is no judgement and he can be himself

so obviously he is in love with you, how could he not?

but there was Sejun, the attractive hulk

Hanse loves his friend but the way you look at him and how you always seem to hag out with him, makes Hanse feel sick

he isn’t one to be jealous though

you deserve all the love and happiness

even if he isn’t the reason for it

for you, Hanse was never more than a friend

but nowadays, the way he carries himself, you do kinda feel attracted towards him

and as Sejun is a naturally flirty guy, you go to him and ask him if he has noticed anything different about Hanse and how you can try and steal his heart

unfortunately Hanse overhears your conversation

and let me tell you

HE IS SO HAPPY

he can’t get rid of the smile on his face

but he doesn’t say anything and walks to his room, happily swinging his hips

after your talk with Sejun, you decide to go home but not before saying by to Hanse

as you walk into his room, he immediately pulls you into a tight hug

“I love you so much. I heard everything you said to Sejun and I can’t even put into words how happy I am. I love you, so fucking much, please let me be your boyfriend.”

“I want nothing more than for you to be my boyfriend. I love you too Hanse.”

Byungchan:

i feel like it’s a regular occurrence for you guys to prank each other

so obviously when you tell him you love him more than a friend, he bursts out laughing and asks you where you hid your camera

this is obviously very frustrating

how on earth are you supposed to tell him about your feelings in a serious setting, when nothing you guys ever do is serious?

after various tries, you decide to give up 

you cannot waste your time when he clearly isn’t that interested in you

so you distance yourself and spend more time with Subin

Subin is quite the opposite of Byungchan

he is way calmer and more relaxed than your best friend

it’s a nice change

Byungchan notices how you start watching YouTube videos with Subin instead of him

which he doesn’t care about at first, cause you are allowed to have other friends too!

but when all you ever do is hanging out with baby Subin... he feels horrible

and he gets mad

and he acts on impulse

he is usually very peaceful an solves arguments ina calm manner

but when he sees Subin, he immediately starts to accuse the boy of stealing you from him

Subin is take aback at first but then turns furious as well cause he is well aware of your feelings for the lanky giant

“If you weren’t an idiot that constantly reject her, you wouldn’t need to cause such drama!”

“What do you mean? I am not rejecting her?”

“But you are! She is so in love with you and all you ever do is laugh in her face! Imagine how she feels.”

Byungchan is shook

so he immediately calls you and arranges a meeting

all this time you confessed you were actually serious?

he feels so horrible

he never meant to put you through all of this

before you can even greet him, he smashes his lips against yours and kisses you as if his life depended on it

“Woah, what was that channie?”

“I love you. And I know you love me too. I’m so sorry it took me so long to realise!”

“I love you too. I’m so glad you finally know.”

Subin:

i’m so soft for Subin

he is such a cutie

he is very young, so I think he might not really know that he is feeling butterflies in his stomach and not just the food he is digesting 

telling his hyungs about how he feels weird around you nowadays and them being like: our baby is in love!, has him confused

is he really in love?

you bet he googles his “symptoms” to see, what the internet says about all of this

and good news: all the sites tell him, he is indeed in love (with some expectations but he trusts his hyungs)

but how is he supposed to tell you?

to him you are this unreachable goddess he will never be good enough for

he is a baby, there are more mature guys out there that are far better for you than him

especially Chan

he is also your friend, you guys get along so well

and while Subin is happy you love his friends as much as he does

it breaks his heart little by little every time he sees you with his favorite hyung

little does he know that Chan knows how in love he is with you

it’s not like Sbin tries to be subtle at all

but you are so focused on your friendship, you don’t realise all the little things

so one day Chan sits you down and asks you a bunch of stupid questions

“Don’t you think our Subinie is super sexy nowadays?”

“He is definitely boyfriend material.”

“I would love you two to date!”

Subin walks into the dorm and overhears you guys

he is so embarrassed 

so he storms in and drags you into his room with no words spoken

“what was this all about?”

you ask confused

“I think I might be in love with you.”

Subin stutters, cheeks and ears tinted red

you smile softly and press a sweet kiss to his pouty lips

“good thing i might be in love with you too.”

“WHAT?! FOR REAL?”

“yes... so what do you say? should we date?”

“uhm... I would love to! Yes!”

[sienne-k]

hello to everyone and welcome back to me after a three-day absence! my queue has completely dried out so i’ve been hard at work for half the day putting it back up lol

in other news, i have spent two days not socializing in any way at all except with my bff whom i haven’t seen in months. we spent two lovely days all holed up in her room and binging a new kdrama. well, new to me - she had already watched it but was happy to rewatch it with me. and boy oh boy... the drama was AMAZING.

if you like fantasy or more like supernatural (the genre not tv show), found family, mystery & cop, and a lovable cast with a mixed age range, this show is for you - THE UNCANNY COUNTER. the heroes fight evil spirits who enter humans who match their ‘evilness’ and then get entangled in and old, unsolved mystery involving corrupt and simply evil politicians, as well as two of the heroes. you can find the drama on netflix, it’s 16 one-hour long episodes.

fair warning though - there’s some violence, blood and maybe gore. it seems not as bad as squid game. then again, i haven’t watched squid game at all so i may be wrong.

[bomberqueen17]

wee precious flower prince: muffin top buttocks

so this is only a partial session but it’s taking me forever to write up, lol. so here it is.

12/26; I’m in kind of a dark place personally and we’re all tired and burnt-out, so much drink is taken and we can’t remember how the buttons work.

I had to look up the last time we played. Apparently around July 4th sometime, but the last time we were in regular rotation it was, like, May, so. It’s been a bit. (For a quick recap, this is the Wee Precious Flower Prince tag where my previous write-ups are, and if you don’t feel like finding out the hard way, the tl;dr version is that at the beginning of the quarantine lockdown when I got laid off I went to isolate with my BFF from high school, heretofore known as Math Mom or MM for short (a math teacher and a mom, that’s a complicated backstory), and one of my college roommates, to whom I introduced her, and who she’s now been with since like 2000 or 2001 thru his whole medical school experience and now numerous years as a doctor, who for simplicity’s sake I call Doctor Friend. He incidentally minored in video gaming, and as a result is real good at Xbox. He often plays it in the evenings to unwind; he has been working rather unsurprisingly hard through all of (*gestures broadly*) this. MM and I bullied him into downloading Witcher 3 early in the quarantine lockdown because we’d watched the Netflix miniseries and it would be more interesting than the shoot-em-up multiplayer he plays most of the time. (Warframe, if you’re into that shit.))

The kids have been intermittently in school but never more than two days a week and often less. But anyway, the part that’s germane to this writeup is that, perhaps not surprisingly, the children have since our last session destroyed the gaming chair in the living room, and so as I lay our fair scene, understand that our brave game controller operator, DF, is operating under the handicap of not having a chair to sit in.

So the first thing that happened is that he sat on— ok I should back up. They have a trampoline in their living room. It’s a small trampoline, about three, three and a half feet across. (My feeble American brain helpfully suggests to me that that’s about a meter if you split the difference.) It was given to them by DF’s fitness nut father. Not for the children, but because this is a great form of low-impact exercise for adults; you don’t bounce on it, you use it to run in place. I don’t know; he’s very Manhattan, which incorporates a certain amount of trendiness and folds in a healthy dose of being super neurotic about unexpected things, as far as I can tell. SO anyway. They have a trampoline in their living room, upon which their son bounces for probably six to eight hours a day. He got a Switch for Christmas, and so plays Yoshi’s Crafted World while jumping on a trampoline for hours. This child is about to turn eight and could likely run a marathon; he proudly pulled up his shirt at his dad’s request and showed off his sculpted, ripped abdominal muscles, which are sort of hilarious on a child his size. (He’s still just barely at the age where his head’s a bit too big for his body, but his body is r i p p e d so it’s adorable and hilarious. LISTEN we all have to keep ourselves going somehow in the pandemic and this is way less distracting than his sister’s method, which has been to develop a massive anxiety disorder. KIDDING. wellll sort of. Anyway that could be going worse but it could be going better, but this is all a digression.)

So there’s a trampoline in the TV room. DF booted up the xbox, sat on the trampoline, and while the screen loaded proceeded to go on a 20-minute rant about Cyberpunk 2077. He hasn’t gotten a lot of people time lately, so.

Long story short he was disappointed about CP2077. Join the club.

Finally we got Witcher loaded up. It’s raining and we’re in a… Novigrad maybe? and we don’t recognize Geralt’s outfit and because of the rain shine effect and the way the tails of his shirt hang it looks like he’s wearing 1) really tight thigh-highs that are 2) causing his buttocks to kind of squeeze out the tops in a muffin-top effect and 3) said buttocks look as though they are encased in silver metallic booty shorts. We paused to look at what the fuck he was wearing, panning all around, and determined that no it’s like, a short tunic over like, hosen-style trousers, and his braies are hanging out, and what looks like muffin-top buttocks is really the short tail of his tunic kind of blousing out under the tight belt that holds the Guy Fieri orange and black gambeson we forgot we’d put him in. Suddenly there was screaming, and we realized that apparently by standing there in the middle of the bridge in the rain looking at Geralt we were causing the guards to panic, so we had to leave suddenly.

“Now,” DF said meditatively, as Geralt walked along a rainy sidewalk, “I have to remember what all the buttons do.” He called up the map, decided on a particular quest, and figured we’d walk along the way and look at all the big question marks on the map. Somewhere in there, we’d remember what the buttons do. We passed a beggar pissing off the edge of a bridge in the dark, which was kind of more local color than we’d strictly expected to see, and next to him a woman was randomly pitching pails of water off into the darkness. Self-refilling water pails, which was even more surprising. 

Contract: Mysterious Tracks. Well, we gotta walk there, so. “Where’s Yennefer?” MM asks. “She smelled great at that funeral.” “Before I smell the ladies, I’ve got to remember how the buttons work,” says DF. “Press X to smell ladies,” Dude suggests. (He knows nothing of video games and has only sat in on these sessions a couple of times, so he has no idea what we’re talking about but is all-in on the color commentary.)

We encountered some bees and remembered that we have a terrible vendetta against bees in this game. “They need to die!” MM said. There ensued an awkward few moments as DF realized he had no idea how to access any of the Witcher powers. He had to scroll around and find the diagram, but fortunately he had enough presence of mind to retreat beyond where the bees were stinging him. He managed to Igni the hive but then it wouldn’t let him pick up the honeycomb, and in the attempt, he got caught in a little copse of three trees and rattled around until we were all dying of laughter. Finally he managed to get out, and we resumed the journey, realized we were heading the entirely wrong direction, and then were beset by wolves, which was worrying until he realized they were only level 5. Yes, this is still Death March mode, but Geralt’s level 17; it didn’t take much to kill a pack of wolves, surely.

Er, well. Okay, it kind of did. “I don’t…” DF said slowly, pushing buttons, “remember how to… heal? Uhhh I probably need to figure that out.” Then after a few moments of waving around his weirdly-glowing sword (we’d forgotten he had this bizarre sort of scythe-thing of a fantasy blade now) he said “Uhhh how do I put my thingy away?”

“In some games, you can’t,” said my-Dude, referring to the Cyberpunk 2077 glitch where the character’s dick clips through their trousers unfixably. DF finally got the sword sheathed, after a bit more fiddling, and then was set upon by deserters.

“Your ass is mine!” one of the deserters yelled, and MM was like “Oh! Well if you know how to press the buttons, you can have it!”

“I mean,” said DF, accidentally sheathing his sword and then punching several deserters with his fists instead, “tempting.”

He did manage to kill the deserters, whereupon there were immediately guards we were cautioned not to behave aggressively around lest we upset them. “Where the fuck were they for the deserters,” DF grumbled.

Geralt walked through a campfire and got set on fire and then just sort of wandered around like that for a bit, which led MM to quip that his muffin-top-ass was smoking hot.

DF was still intensely trying to remind himself of how the buttons worked, so there followed an interlude where, sword drawn, Geralt locomoted himself down the street by a combination of repeated hopping, rolling, and flailing. Nobody called the cops, and we didn’t kill any bystanders. It’s not like DF doesn’t use the Xbox all the dang time, but he hadn’t so much as looked at Witcher since (I looked it up) a solitary excursion in July, after not having touched it since May. So… bit of a re-learning curve here.

“Sweet,” DF said, “ghouls,” and went to town fighting them. Of course one dropped the predictable loot, which is the only thing Dude remembered from last time we watched this game being played— he made up a song about Monster Bone and gleefully redeployed it here.

“Oh yeah,” DF said, finishing up  the fight and destroying the monster nest. “There was a whole sequence of things I used to do. Like. Oiling myself up. I need to get back into that.” Meditatively, he paged through the options. “Potions and food and shit. Yeah.”

He’d picked up a new quest called Tough Luck but then couldn’t find it in the quest list. Shrugging, he went on with the game, and then suddenly it made the “AAHH” noise and was like “Quest completed: Tough Luck” so apparently that quest consists of just whatever you were gonna do anyway. Good to know? “That’s level thirteen,” DF muttered to himself, as a new enemy charged onto the scene. “All right, I need to actually figure out how to fight now.” And then he promptly put the game on pause and took an intermission to go mix another drink.

Quite a lot of drink had been taken all around, by all of us, at this point. We’d had a cheese plate before and during and after dinner, with many exotic cheeses (MM’s brother had sent it for the holidays), and yet DF reappeared eating a string cheese, which set my Dude to Judging him, and sparked a heated debate over the validity of string cheese as a foodstuff. “There’s a time and a place for different cheeses,” DF said defensively, “and now is the time for string cheese.” “It’s not even really cheese!” Dude protested, which sparked a lengthy search for the container so the nutrition information and ingredients could be read. I absented myself from the discussion, instead seeking out yet more evil things to put into eggnog.

Immediately after intermission, we returned to strategize how to defeat an actual enemy with actual stats. DF oiled himself moderately and just hit the thing a bunch and killed it, but. “Oh EATING,” he said suddenly, “that’s the other thing that restores health,” and ran down the road alternately drawing and sheathing each of his two swords.

We hit An Unfortunate Turn Of Events, which is yet another of the many, many, many bits in Witcher 3 where some poor hapless peasant who in keeping with the world building should probably be illiterate still sits down with pen and expensive parchment to write out some incredibly dramatic-ironic words that by rights he really should not be taking the time in an emergency to right. Every time, I recite the bit from Monty Python’s Holy Grail where they’re reading a note scrawled into the rock face and it says “Castle Aaargh” and they theorize that perhaps the teller died while carving it. Anyway this Castle Aargh note was about refugees finding a safe place to flee too, next to a bunch of refugees who had not arrived safely and were now dead beyond helping. Nothing to be done but to loot their corpses, of course. Then we killed whatever monsters had done them in, of course, and then the screen froze up for a cutscene. “Ohh,” DF said, “this is when everyone walks back all burly.” Meaning, of course, the animation that plays when you clear an area so it’s safe for its inhabitants to come back— and the inhabitants are invariably these large, capable-looking muscular dudes and you’re like why could you not do anything about this situation?? They always look sort of threatening. But sure enough, a bunch of meathead-looking dudes swaggered onto the screen, and when the cutscene ended, Geralt was surrounded by small children skipping ropes directly over the dismembered corpses of whatever thing he’d just killed, while he’s still in the process of looting. Distantly, one of the sprites coughed, and DF yelled “HE’S GOT THE ‘RONA”, proving that we do still live in the current era.

Onscreen, the scenery unfurled into a particularly dramatic sunset, and MM sighed. “I’m feeling the spice nog,” she admitted, sipping some of her extremely-boozy eggnog to which she’d added spiced jaegermeister. DF turned around and said, mock-mournfully, “You used to feel MY spice nog.” (Hm their 20th wedding anniversary is coming up.)

We went into a village to find out about a contract, and as we stood talking to a man, a random woman walked up and just RAMMED into Geralt’s back, knocking him staggering forward. The woman made one of the weirdly-sexy “oof!” sort of noises people make in these games. “YOU ran into ME,” DF said, somewhat aggrieved. Anyway we got our info and ran off into the woods. “Big,” Geralt said, of the tracks. “Really big.” I love how he monologues to himself all the goddamned time. We picked up a trail and had to follow a scent. Bear? we guessed. “Fiend?” A cave popped up on the minimap, so we started doing laps of it, more or less, trying to figure out what the fuck we were looking for. We kept being offered crow’s eye, and told to Examine poop, so we picked flowers and looked at shit.

Abruptly we found the cave entrance, by falling into it. “I bonked!” MM said, mimicking what her children still say when they fall, and immediately followed it up with her own line. “Do you need a band-aid, Geralt?” He did not, and only took slight fall damage, fortunately. Immediately we found the fiend, who was dead.

Right about now DF began to complain that the trampoline upon which he was sitting was not super ergonomic. We paused to refill our drinks, and thence continued our examination of the cave, since it seemed important to know what had killed the fiend. “Can you summon your horse inside the cave?” MM asked. DF pushed a button. Geralt made a “poof” noise and emitted a green gas. [ok i think he took a potion, is what happened, but this is what it looked like to us.] “Not that button,” DF said. “Excuse you,” MM said, affronted. “Sorry,” DF said, in old reflex.

Since we are old, when we discovered that the fiend killer was a chort, we all said more or less in unison “The King’s gone mad with power! He’s gonna eat the Chort!” (oh my god kids these days don’t know about that site. we all feel old thinking of it.)

Turns out we need to make a chort lure, but I believe I’ve mentioned before here that DF operates under a terrible handicap where he’s from downstate, so in his dialect the word “lure” is pronounced identically to the word “lore” so he’s going on and on about Chort Lore. Coincidentally we need fiend dung and crow’s eye, which were both outside. Kind of a gimme, but like, whatever man, we’ll take it. So we made what DF, possibly tired of us mocking his <strike>speech impediment</strike> accent, dubbed Chort Lube. “He needs a good swording,” DF reflected, as he set up his items. “Put the lore in your slot!” I told him. “Lube,” he corrected. “Lube in my slot.” By this point of the evening, rather a lot of drink had been taken, so at that moment he accidentally de-equipped all the garments on Geralt’s upper body, and then exited the equipment panel. Geralt stood half-naked upon the moonlit hillside, looking dramatic and perhaps a bit chilly. “Fuck,” DF said, belatedly noticing what he’d done, “where did my shirt go?”

After some struggle he got Geralt’s shirt back on but then we really struggled attempting to deploy the chort lube. “You cannot do that now,” the game said at one point. Then DF Igni’d the hillside, then he jumped a few times. “You cannot do that now,” it said again. “No…. no…. not here… what the fuck.” Igni again. It was a regular lil comedy of errors. It had little gold circles we were supposed to be in, but DF hadn’t played long enough to get un-rusty before he’d drunk enough gin to be impaired, so. Eventually, we got the hillside lubed. Then we had to lube the sword. I was quite impaired by this point as well but somehow still instantly knew that relict oil was what was necessary. (Why is this what my brain has now?) We went back into the cave, and found some Devil’s Puffball, as you do. “I feel like I should use that on my face before I go out,” MM observed. “No,” I said, “i feel like that’s more of a decollté situation?”

At some point, MM noticed that in the intervening time since DF last got Geralt a haircut, DF had grown his own facial hair out accidentally to match. Chops, mustache, soul patch— some of that is to leave the areas where a surgical mask needs a good fit on the face bare, in DF’s case, but it did mean it looks like DF got Geralt’s hair did to match him.

while we were distracted by this, we fell into the cave again, which was good because we had forgotten where it was. The chort came in, ready to fight, and DF said, nonchalantly, “At a time like this, I like to have a lil snack,” and equipped himself a ham sandwich.  “Wonder what sign is gonna be useful for this,” he went on, still unconcernedly paging through his setup. “Well, a lil quen never hurt.” After a bit, DF observed, “Hm, sword’s not doing a ton of damage.” For once, for a wonder, he was pretty good about renewing Quen as it broke. “Eeehhhhhh ah here we go!” At last, the chort went toes-up, and we looted the corpse and then fiddled around endlessly in the inventory screen, as one does. “He needs bits for his stuff,” DF said. “No,” MM corrected, “he needs stuff for his bits.”

The quest gave a healthy 320 xp, which was nice. We noted that we still don’t have superior beast oil, which was like, the only thing MM wanted out of this whole game. Upon inspection, we realized that we don’t even have Enhanced beast oil yet, which is a bummer. So we need to get bison grass and bear fat, which sounds like a hell of a party if you ask me. And like. A cockatrice stomach, which. Not a party, there.

Quest complete, we fast traveled to Ursten and hit up a few question marks enroute to the White Lady quest, up next. We passed a really lovely sunrise, and paused to admire it.

DF got up and un-velcroed his pants loudly. “Uhh,” I said, not sure where this was going. “Is there superior beast oil?” MM asked excitedly, still mentally stuck on the prior conversation. “Come find out,” DF said, and staggered off to the bathroom. (She did not.)

When he came back, I commented that I hadn’t expected his pants, which looked like, IDK, regular dude pants, to be Velcro at the waist, so he came over to show me the fastening and accidentally still had his fly down so I fell backward off the couch and there was a great deal of hilarity over the fact that he’d just Cyberpunk’d me.

Next up we paused to look at a scenic lil island full of nekkers, that was also sort of surprisingly on fire? Abruptly DF discovered the trampoline was too annoying to lie on any further, so he relocated to the couch where his wife was, and instead of sitting next to her, sat on her, after the manner of a very large dog not quite aware he is too large to be a lapdog. Unfazed, as this has been a regular occurrence over the two decades of their pair bond, MM moved her drink to her other hand to rescue it from being spilled. She said, of Geralt’s onscreen look, “I am still having trouble visually parsing your muffin top buttocks,” only through the filter of her considerable consumption of Jaegermeister, it came out “I’m having trouble with your muffin buckets,” which if any of us are sober enough to remember this will likely pass into household lore. DF realized he can’t read the text onscreen from his comfortable seat atop his wife’s entire person, and asked if she could make out the text. After some squinting, she managed, but said, “I need my opera glasses if we’re to continue this configuration.”

Meanwhile, Geralt had gone and stood in a hot cadaver fire. Shortly thereafter, he discovered a beehive. “AHH IT’S BEES,” he said, running wildly around. “Surely he can squiggle them with his fingermagic,” MM said. “Ah yes,” DF said, “my fingermagic is well known across the land.”

The quest name was “The Things Men Do For Coin” but it popped up with something obscuring part of it, so all we could read was “The Things Men Do For C” and MM briefly lost her mind about what C stood for. I’ll leave that to the imagination. (I was texting with a friend and in an adorably ace manner they were like ‘i was thinking about sailors needing vitamin C…’ ah, no, that was not the general, uh, thrust of the conversation in the room.)

Break for inventory management. Geralt tried on some baggy trousers and smacked his thighs, which in the bulky pants did a strange firm sort of jiggle. We all laughed quite a lot at that.

I should have switched to water, but at this point apparently filled my cup with vodka. Listen it is a cold dark fucking winter and I’m gona do what I’m gonna do. Endregas showed up but none of us could read the screen at all, so much squinting ensued. “The endrega queen just got you with her Thagomizer.” “Endreg queen? Performs in dreg?” “That needs more workshopping.”

Post-fight, Geralt performed an entertaining series of calisthenics while DF tried in vain to find the “summon Roach” button. Hop, skip, run, punch, hop, hop, draw sword, put sword away, throw bomb. Whoops! Nope. Nope? Nope. I finally Googled it and told him how, so he summoned Roach like nothing had happened and went on our way.

[anotheruserwithnoname]

What am I looking forward to?

I get asked what I’m looking forward to in terms of entertainment as 2021 trundles along. I thought I’d put together a list of my thoughts of the things I have marked on my calendar (or am prepared to buy, as the case may be!)

Klokkenluider, The Sandman, The War Rooms: Obviously I’d be failing at my duty to not include Jenna Coleman’s trio of upcoming projects! I have a confession - I’ve yet to watch all of The Serpent, too. Hoping for a DVD or (even better) Blu-ray release of that later in the year too. UK has one already. Netflix does release many of its shows to permanent media so hopefully The Serpent will be one of them (ditto Sandman and War Rooms down the line).

Free Guy: the much-delayed video game-based film starring Ryan Reynolds and Jodie Comer. Reminds me of Ready Player One, which was one of my favourite films of the last few years. And it’s the first leading film role for Jodie Comer from Killing Eve and it looks like she might be playing a nerdy version of Villanelle (without all the murdery sociopathic stuff; at least, I assume!). 

No Time to Die: Some aspects of the trailers have me concerned, and whenever I hear people talk about “new directions” I get antsy because that rarely ends well. But this is Bond and while there has been the occasional poor 007 film in the past (A View to a Kill and Quantum of Solace are the only Bond films I dislike and avoid; not a bad ratio out of 25) the odds of me liking it are pretty good (hell, I even consider Spectre to be one of the best Bonds ever, and I know that’s unpopular opinion). I was concerned about Phoebe Waller-Bridge being one of the writers due to my opinion that Fleabag is overrated (I know, another unpopular opinion), but that was before I saw her work on Killing Eve. If she brings some of that spirit to the film, it’ll work. Some of the things people are complaining about don’t bug me, especially regarding the 007 designation which belonged to somebody else before the events of the 2006 Casino Royale film and in all likelihood they’ll reboot continuity with whoever follows Daniel Craig anyway so none of that matters. They could kill Bond off and it wouldn’t make a difference.

Lower Decks Season 2: Speaking of unpopular opinion, Season 1 was one of the most pleasant surprises of last year. I think the backlash against Lower Decks is primarily a case that, for many fans, their dislike and disappointment of the current state of the franchise is so high that even if they do something good, it’s rejected automatically. I’ve given up on Discovery, have little interest in Picard (I had good things to say about it last year but it’s not aged well) and don’t care to see Strange New Worlds. So I was prepared to pooh-pooh on Lower Decks (I could have worded that a bit more elegantly; I dedicate that to Seth McFarlane) but, while it’s obviously a non-canon spoof, it still feels like Trek, which I cannot say for the current live-action shows. Basically that means it’s The Orville done for Star Trek. Which is fine, because it works better than Discovery’s and definitely Short Trek’s attempts at Orvilling (which in my opinion was about as entertaining as gerbilling - did I type that out loud?). And I think Beckett Mariner is the most interesting lead character of a Trek series in years. Speaking of The Orville...

The Orville Season 3: It’s in Red Dwarf territory right now in terms of it taking forever between seasons, and I am worried that being on Hulu might make it too edgy and turn away the many who latched onto it because Discovery was too edgy. But I have faith in Seth McFarlane, so eventually we’ll see it. If not, maybe I’ll give Avenue 5 a shot. Oh, and I am expecting Season 3 to be the end. It feels like getting it made - even taking C19 into account - was very difficult this time around and McFarlane sounds like he has a lot on his plate. If it does end, I hope somebody continues it in novel or comic book form (the comics have been incredible - seriously some of the best tie-ins I’ve read in years, and they’re canon too apparently thanks to being written by the show’s producer).

Magnum PI Season 4: It’s a sweet show and I watch it for the Magnum-Higgins ship (which is currently following the Clara-Danny trajectory). And I keep hoping co-star Perdita Weeks is able to recruit BFF Jenna Coleman to appear someday. So there’s that.

Legends of Tomorrow Season 7 and the conclusion of Supergirl Season 6. Another unpopular take is I happen to really like these two CW shows. Supergirl is calling it a day after 6 seasons, with the final season split into two parts, with the second half airing later this summer. Legends is still midway through S6 but has been renewed for a 7th. Both are fun, with Legends literally being the only show on TV that is legitimately unpredictable (seriously, this past week was a riff on Baby Yoda of all things - and no, Beebo was a riff on Furby. Different merch magnet, pay attention.), plus it’s most likely (IMO) the reason why John Constantine the character is unavailable for The Sandman series (which opened the door for Jenna Coleman to be cast as his ancestor Johanna, which is fine by me!).

Killing Eve Season 4: obviously. It’s only because of Jenna Coleman that you’re not getting wall-to-wall Jodie Comer on this blog. If she and Jenna are ever cast together in anything, I might need to call an ambulance.

Peter Capaldi’s debut album. It’s about time! No it’s not, that would be silly. And I don’t want to thank C19 for creating the circumstances that led to Peter doing a record. But still - a Peter Capaldi album is coming. It just better not be digital-only. I want to see him on the New Release rack at Sunrise Records.

So looks like I have a lot of stuff to occupy my time coming up!

[feuervogel]

Recent media viewing

I decided to open up Netflix the other day and watch the Sandman adaptation. It's as good as everyone has been saying it is! And episode 5 has some gross bits that you'll see coming if you're paying attention (also, the nice black lady and her dog don't die, if you're worried about that). The Corinthian is EVEN CREEPIER in live action.

I spent a lot of time thinking "God, that actor looks and sounds familiar" whenever the Corinthian was on screen, but I looked him up and he wasn't in anything else I've seen, so I guess he's just got That Kind Of Face (or at least lower half of it, since he's got dark glasses on 95% of the time.)

While I was on Netflix, they showed me recommendations, as algorithms do, and I browsed the anime selection to see if there was anything to add to my (extremely long) watchlist.

I decided to watch Tekken: Bloodline, because deep in my heart of hearts, I love 2D fighting games. Not at all because I've been a JinHwo shipper since the early 2000s, nope. Anyway, it's a Netflix original, originally voiced in English. The voice acting ranges from fine (Jin, Hwoarang, Nina, Paul) to cringe (Jun, Xiaoyu) to comical (Heihachi), and for some completely unknown reason, Heihachi's assistant uses weeb-Japanese and says "hai" when she could say "yes, sir." (Like, this is the ONLY Japanese in the show. I'm not counting uses of sensei, because that's been borrowed into English as a martial arts term, or the time Paul says "Mishima Zaibatsu," because that's been in the US versions of the game since forever.)

Is it any good? It's not bad... It's basically the plot of Tekken 3, with references to 1&2, with Jin finding out about his family and Heihachi being a total asshole (I mean, duh). The character designs are weird, like their faces are too small for their necks and chins are too pointy, and somehow Jin looks like Heero Yuy in profile. I laughed a couple times (Paul (or maybe Nina): You two are friends? Jin & Hwoarang (unison): NO!) and may be on the way to shipping Jin/Hwo/Xiaoyu because they're ADORABLE.

When I got my new computer for Xmas, it came with a free 3-month trial of Apple TV. I didn't do anything about it until they sent me an email that it would go away if I didn't use it, then I signed up. There's actually a good bit of good stuff on there, so I'm keeping it for 4.99 a month.

Severance: suuuuper creepy SF mystery/thriller? where people can sign up to get implants that sever their work lives from their home lives so they can work on something so secret, even their work-selves don't know what it is. Season 1 ends with a massive cliffhanger that was extremely brave, because S2 hadn't been confirmed yet. (It is now.) It stars the guy from Parks & Rec and guest stars Christopher Walken.

The Essex Serpent: based on a book, apparently. Tom Hiddleston plays a vicar who lives out in the wilds in the 1880s or so; Claire Danes is a recently widowed paleontologist. Hiddles is utterly charming, as always; Danes is a bit flat, as always (I've always liked her, but she has about 2 expressions: confused and sad). There's a doctor who wants to date her, and her BFF/maid ALSO wants to date her, but she's only got eyes for the vicar (who's married, of course). Anyway, she hears rumors of a sea monster in the river and goes to investigate it, which is where she meets the vicar and so on. You can tell it's going to be a romance, but that part is somehow not compelling.

For All Mankind: space race AU where the Soviet Union gets to the moon first and NASA has to catch up. A lot of the real-world timeline is changed in ways that are good (space shuttles! moon base!) and bad (USSR doesn't collapse). In season 3, there is an extremely honest depiction of Gay Life in the 90s and of the within-group politics of assimilation or not. I lived through it (before I knew I was queer, or admitted it anyway), and it still punched me in the gut. We've made so much progress in the last 30 years that it's easy to forget just how terrible it was back then and that Don't Ask Don't Tell was the progressive compromise. It made me think about all the puriteens here on tunglr dot com and the stupid discourse about ~flawed media~ and ~problematique~ stuff. They should watch it and maybe fucking learn some history.

The end of season 3 is dfjhadkjghk;djkhgojwhjdfxhvjh basically and season 4 can't come soon enough.

[galactichoneybee92]

The Problem With Spinning Out and Zero Chill

Okay so spoilers. All the spoilers. Go into this at your own risk because every possible spoiler for both shows. Also: I will be speaking about these two shows with the assumption that readers have seen both and as such, will not need a summary of either. Okay, still here? Cool. 

I have no big hot take, just some observations that I would like to put out into the universe in regards to Netflix’s two most recent ice skating shows. Because I have a lot of thoughts, and also one big question for anyone who can maybe help me? 

For starters, Spinning Out and Zero Chill are both Netflix originals that premiered around approximately the same time, both of which feature figure skating as a backdrop for a lot of interpersonal drama surrounding the characters. It’s wonderful, because while I’m not very invested in sports I adore figure skating- It’s beautiful and fun to watch even if you don’t know a lot of the technical aspects or the names of the moves. However, for centering around the same sport the two shows are very different. Also, Spinning Out has already been confirmed to have been cancelled after the first season, while the future of Zero Chill is still up in the air.

In regards to personal preference, I liked Spinning Out a lot more than Zero Chill. It had a love story for me to invest myself in, as well as some messy, dramatic family dynamics, and overall the show was a lot more mature. I suspect that this may have actually been to the show’s detriment but that’s for later. In contrast, I found Zero Chill to be fluffy to the point of an ABC Family special. 

Do you remember those? Shows like Switched at Birth or Secret Life of the American Teenager, that tried to tackle big mature topics while keeping things family friendly? Do you remember how the writing was usually pretty sub par and the drama all seemed super contrived because there was only so much they could actually do within their given boundaries, so they made a much bigger deal out of small issues than they deserved? Yeah. Zero Chill felt like that. For example, the “hazing” from the hockey team was to...put balloons in his locker? And that was a...major diss? Worth getting super pissed? Idk. It’s just that, without the confines of being family-friendly day time programing, I have come to expect more from Netflix original programming. 

Alternatively, Spinning Out may have veered too far into the dark and gritty spectrum. If I had to guess where it failed, I would say that it introduced A LOT of drama, all within the first season and at times felt, overwrought. I think Spinning Out could have done with slowing down and taking a breath. Draw things out. Have the mother slowly escalate her abuse, stop and start with her medication, stretch out the love triangle between Kat, Justin, and Marcus. When I first started watching I thought that maybe Marcus would be Kat’s Luke Danes. Like throughout the show she dates other people, but eventually she realizes that she loves him and they end up together but...nope. The show established pretty early on that we were not going to have an epic, interracial friends to lovers romance. And I loved the enemies to lovers romance we got between her a Justin (Though I really think it should have taken longer. I liked that they hooked up before and that he was kinda low key pining but stretch it out. Sloooooooow buuuuuuuurn. Make it goooood. I want to feel the pining.) but it did feel like the cop out answer. And then they immediately introduce a black female character because apparently in the year 2021 we still have shows with exactly 2 black characters that are there to date each other. Like fuck, even South Park has made fun of that trope, it’s time to move past it. 

Secondly I think that it’s super out of character for Kat to ever go off her medicine, even if it is to help her skating. It’s the same way I felt when they introduced Ian’s mental Illness in Shameless. Like, maybe it’s a thing that people do and if you’ve known people that act this was in these scenarios than sure, maybe I’m wrong. But it just feels like they go to so much effort to show the effect that their parent’s mental illness has on them and their life when left untreated, they establish the characters as grown up too quickly, forced to mature due to their parent’s poor choices, and then just decide to have them follow in their mother’s footsteps when the plot demands more drama. I hated that as a choice for Ian and I hated it for Kat. Partly because I feel like it’s very out of character and cop-out writing, and also because I feel like if they had to do it at all it should have been later on in the series. 

One advantage that Zero Chill had for me over Spinning Out is that at least the characters were consistent. In this case I’m speaking mostly about Kayla, but also some of the others. Sure, I found Kayla’s impulsivity annoying instead of charming like I feel was the intent, but I liked her friendship with Skye arguably more than Kat’s friendship with Jenn. Mostly because Skye was pretty chill throughout the entirely of the show while Jenn would go from hot to cold and back. Do I think it’s stupid that Kayla and Skyle’s big storyline was “I want to skate with my BFF but regulations don’t allow it?” Yes. You’ve already established that Kayla doesnt care about competitions. The only time she ever did was because she wanted to skate with her OTHER BFF. So like....just skate now? You have Skye’s mom’s approval at this point, it doesn’t have to go anywhere. But at least the two seemed to genuinely be friends. Kat and Jenn started off with potential but then turned fairly toxic. Kat was never that supportive of Jenn, always wrapped up in her own stuff and Jenn just got crazy at the end there. I understand her being upset about Justin but then she learns that Kat is bipolar, you think theyre cool, and then she immediately throws that back in Kat’s face at the first inconvenient moment. 

Can I just say though, how much more interested I was when I thought the secret figure skater was someone on Mac’s hockey team? I was trying to guess which boy it secretly was and I thought that there would be a subplot about her trying to convince him to figure skate with her, but he would feel pressured by his parents to play hockey instead. And that would work as a foil to Ava, who wanted to play hockey but was instead forced to figure skate. And there would be an eventual romance because what can I say, I’m here for the romance. But no...it was Skye and then there was just that subplot about Mac wanting to date his sister’s only friend. And like, when I was trying to guess who it was I thought it might be Bear and that would be her romantic interest but....no. Bear just, also likes Skye. 

Also, is it some unwritten rule that for every white girl figure skater with brown hair, there must be an Asian best friend? This isnt a complaint, just an observation. 

And clearly I don’t ONLY have complaints. I thought that both shows ahd a promising premise, and I loved the relationship on Spinning Out. When Zero Chill actually bothered with real issues instead of contrived nothing issues, I think it did it pretty well. I liked the friendships and family dynamic better in Zero Chill, but wished that it would have been a little more mature like Spinning Out. I liked that the characters in Spinning Out were mostly adults and that it had a more adult tone, but I wish that they had dialed the melodrama back just a bit. What I really want, I supposed, is a combination of the two shows which leads nicely into my question for you all: 

I remember browsing Netflix months ago and seeing a figure skating show advertised, however it wasn’t either of these shows. It feels like these two shows were once one, and then got split up into two because I am completely unable to find the show I originally saw a commercial for. 

In that original ad there was a brother and sister, one who played hockey and one who figure skated. But the hockey brother was jealous of the sister because he felt like their parents prioritized her figure skating. So one day, before a big performance of hers, he met her right before the performance and yelled at her about how unfair everything was and it shook her up and when she went out on the ice she wasn’t focused. She slipped and fell, split her head open on the ice, and her confidence was shaken. 

But like...that wasn’t either of these shows so what the hell was it??? Were they once one? Was there some other show that hasn’t been released yet? Did I see it in a dream???? 

[maggiecheungs]

2020 ~everything~ wrap

i finally have time to do all of the tag games that people have tagged me in over the past month or so! i cannot for the life of me remember who tagged me in which one, so i’m just putting ~everything~ in one huge post. if i tag you anywhere then consider it a standing invitation to do whichever of these you haven’t done :) in fact, this is me issuing a standing invite to any of my followers who wants to do it :) also, thank you all!

Creator Wrap: Favourite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

this collection of philosophy quotes paired with thai bl series, (and its sequel) which is possibly my favourite thing i’ve ever made. for, uh, nerd reasons.

these gifted text post memes i made still make me laugh sometimes

this fic about green from 2gether, which i wrote in the notes app on my phone and published the same day. not my absolute best writing but i am very fond of it <3

i have a bunch fof friend zone dangerous area edits/shitposts which i like, but i’m particularly fond of my fzda as satire headlines (which now has a sequel!)

i also love my crisgood-walmart-lesbian post. i might send it in to gmmtv to try and convince them to do a crisgood-bffs spin-off

+ bonus: since i wrote this list i made this gifset (my first ever!) of jennie panhan in the shipper and i love her too much not to include her on here

+ extra nerdy bonus: this niche meme about Chinese philosophy, which still makes me crack up whenever I think about it

Favourite Creators/Follow Forever

i’ve completely lost track of who’s following who from which blog, so this is just going to be a haphazard, non-exhaustive list of people who i adore/admire/am vaguely intimidated by, mutuality be damned. maybe we talk all the time! maybe we’ve never interacted! maybe i am constantly there in ur tags... lurking... 👀... but if you’re on this list you have made me smile at least once this year and i love you for that alone <3

@wjmild kylie!! you make gifs of arm & tay & lee (separately or in various combinations) & the shipper & and kapook & random fluke pusit cameos & school rangers so i don’t have to <3 ilysm

@janeramida vianey, you have such impeccable taste in general, but your sizzy gifset in particular is so gorgeous it lives in my mind rent free

@applelapis bri, this post was a callout and i want you to know that it haunts me at night as i lie awake staring at the ceiling :((((( i hope you are happy

@gigiesarocha cata, i love it when you show up on my dash bc you have!! such taste!! also, every time you gif gigie i gain five years of life <3 pls continue doing the Good Work

@pvrrish​ eleni, i remeber legit thinking that this was an official poster when i first saw it, it’s so beautiful

@ahysopae​ juliette your khaithird fic is so good and it literally changed the way i think about khai (not an easy feat)

@kurosawadachi angel, whenever i think about grace’s speech i remember your gifset and get literal chills

@doctorbahnjit alexa, you have no right to be as funny as you are. your friend zone edits give me life

@khaotungthanawat sam, you’re probably sick of getting tagged in these lists by random strangers, but i just had to bc your gifsets are Pure Art

@tanwirapong roa, all your gifsets are so ✨iconic✨

faiza @asianmelodrama and rahul @petekaos! yours were the first two thai drama blogs i followed and for ages i lowkey thought of you as my fandom parents.

and some more blogs that make me happy: @curlykytta / @lee-thanat  / @fck-inspector-m / @pangwave / @tichawongtipkanon / @tawanv @kimmonv (violet istg i have spent more time this year trying to figure out how many blogs you have than i have spent admiring your gifsets. & i spend a lot of time admiring your gifsets) / @taytawan / @1akorn and @yihwas (and your radiant lovechild @lakornladies ofc) / @teh-ohaew / @vihokratanas (mel your gifsets are just so gorgeous) / @tootiredtoosadtooangry / @headcompletelyempty / @demiromanticmickey​ / and there are definitely more but my brain is a sieve so apologies if i’ve forgotten anyone!! i love you all!! 

2020 HIGHLIGHTS ✨

rules: list your top 10 shows (bl or not) you watched in 2020 (doesn’t necessarily have to be shows that came out in 2020 though!)

1. 2GETHER & STILL2GETHER

my first thai drama, and even after all the amazing shows i’ve watched this year, it still has a special place in my heart. watching 2gether was the first time i’d ever seen a queer romcom that just... was. for me, by the simple fact of its being, 2gether was revolutionary. and then still2gether came along and took all the best things about the first season and gave us something beautiful and quiet and lovely and just proved to me, once and for all, that queer happiness doesn’t need to justify its own existence. there can be gay cuddles on the beach for no other reason than that we want them. 

2. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

i don’t really have the words for this one but. it makes my heart so very soft.

3. FRIEND ZONE 2: DANGEROUS AREA

season one was mindless fun because everyone was an absolute trashfire and it was hella cathartic to watch, but season 2... wow. i love it for so many reasons: it has messy and authentic queer rep; the characterisation is excellent and i somehow care about all of the characters; amazing women taking centre stage(!); a wlw relationship with lesbian, ace and bipolar rep; multiple interesting plotlines; actual character development; arm weerayut as a chaos gremlin... absolutely one of my favourites of 2020.

4. CHERRY MAGIC

i don’t think i need to explain this one, which is fortunate, because i have no idea how exactly i’d describe the happy-warm-fuzzy-queer-seen-loving-affirmed-profound feeling that rises in my chest whenever i think about it. 

5. THE GIFTED: GRADUATION

confession: i liked season 2 more than season 1 (with the exception of the ending, which we don’t talk about). season 1 was enjoyable and interesting, but for me it was season 2 which made me love this series. it did some incredibly interesting and complicated things (even if it didn’t quite nail the landing): it pushed characters to the breaking point and wove so many layers into the story and questioned its own underlying themes. plus, watching it alongside everyone in the fandom made it 200% better. i love all of you and i love this show. egg girl 5eva.

6. THE SHIPPER

i 100% understand why so many people didn’t like this show, or found it problematic, but through some fluke it absolutely worked for me (even the ending). one day i will write an essay explaining my rationale, but for now i’ll just say that it’s one of my favourite shows about adolescence and queerness and identity and compassion and friendship and love that i’ve ever watched. 

7. YYY

this series is absolutely off its rocker, and it somehow managed to be one of the most affirming shows i’ve watched. it shouldn’t have worked by it did, and i love it so much.

8. 3 WILL BE FREE

absolutely iconic. amazing plot, stunning visuals, great characters, canon polyamory, jennie being incredible... what a series.

9. MANNER OF DEATH

i love the fact that this show exists; i love the mix of crime and romance; i love maxtul’s acting; i love the central relationship; i love bun. i know we’re not even halfway through yet, but this show is doing something special and i’m so grateful that i get to watch it unfold in real time. 

10. CHIHAYAFURU (SEASON 3)

odd one out on my list, but I had to include it. chihayafuru is my all-time favourite anime and it finally got a third season, which is somehow even better than the first two. mashima taichi is one of my favourite characters of all time and his storyline hits me on such a profound level. plus, in the years since i first say this show i’ve fallen in love with classical japanese literature (particularly heian poetry) so i had newfound appreciation for the karuta matches (aka i cried every time someone recited one of my favourite poems)

other favourites: together with me, he’s coming to me, sotus and sotus s, my dear loser: edge of 17, why r u, theory of love, wake up chanee!, gameboys, pearl next door, uta koi (anime), three kingdoms (2010), blood and water (netflix). (itsay would almost certainly be on my list if i’d had time to watch it. same with dark blue kiss, which i had to pause so i could do my assignments)

Final Thoughts

well, it’s been... a year (i don’t think anyone needs a reminder of the details) but writing this post has reminded me of all the amazing shows and people I discovered over the course of it.

thank you to everyone for being so lovely and creative and funny and quirky and kind and passionate. you’re all incredibly awesome people and i wish all of you the very best xx