#//more of me picking a crappy topic

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

TENDER CARE. 18+

pairing. bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary. you’ve been feeling insecure lately and your boyfriend, bucky knows just the way to make you feel pretty

word count. 2847

warnings. 18+ only!! hurt/comfort, reader feeling insecure, lots of hand kissing bc that shit makes me weak, kissing in general, praise, body worshiping, oral (f receiving) little bit of titty stuff, unprotected pinv sex, bucky being the best bf. minors dni

It was late, the evening quiet - the winter moon, a bright slither of silver amongst the dark blue sky. 

As you lay in your bed, admiring her -the moon’s- beauty through the condensation of your window, your mind begins to drift, irrationality throwing hurdles at you. Your brain darting back and forth to those same thoughts you've been having more of lately - ones where doubt and insecurity flood any sense of logicality. 

You knew you had no reason to feel this way. Your boyfriend always went to grave lengths to ensure you felt loved and appreciated, showing you nothing but tender care. Though, there was just something in your brain, that little green gremlin instilling distrust within you - no fault to him.

You felt isolated with your sense of humility, often feeling as though you didn't have someone to confide in, someone to talk to. It wasn't an easy topic to bring up, and although you felt comfortable enough with Bucky to share your mind freely, this was something that you just could not stomach. 

Not only were you thinking about yourself, you were thinking of Bucky. The thought of admitting to him you felt insecure in your relationship felt like the highest form of betrayal. To confess to the man who's been torn apart and stitched together more times than one can count - that you felt unlovable, was something you couldn't bear. 

The amount of hurt you would cause him simply by sharing was enough to deter you. So, for that reason alone, you kept it hidden. Letting yourself wallow in the crappy feeling unaided. 

Your phone vibrates on your nightstand beside you, the screen obnoxiously bright - the white almost blinding you within your dim bedroom. Teary-eyed, you peek over at the caller ID, your boyfriend's name displayed beside his picture. 

You wanted to talk to him - to hear his voice, but you knew your wavering tone would give away your dismal state. So, you let his call go to voicemail, like all his others from this evening. 

Feeling guilt-ridden for declining his calls, you pick up your phone, deciding to send him a text instead. But when you unlock your phone, you see a pile of missed messages from Bucky, each text growing more and more worried at your sudden disappearance - his last one reading, 'I'll be over in 10' which was nearly ten minutes ago. 

You exhale in frustration, cursing yourself as you wipe your eyes - carefully blotting the sensitive skin with one hand, the other typing a response. You decided on a small, white lie, replying, 'sorry, I was sleeping.'

The second your thumb presses send, you hear a frantic string of taps on your door - the repeated sound of knuckles knocking. You take a moment to situate yourself before making your way to your front entrance, socked feet paddling over to answer. 

You peek through the peephole, your boyfriend on the other side - visibly distressed as he rakes through the front strands of his hair. You reach for the handle, unlocking the door with an expression you were sure to be disgrace. "I'm so sorry. I was in—" you start.

"Are you okay? You didn't answer. I got worried— I thought something happened," Bucky cuts you off, walking past you and stepping into your apartment.

You close the door behind him, turning to meet his frazzled features. "I know, I know. I'm really sorry. My phone was on silent, and I was in bed. I didn't see anything til just now," you confess, sharing parts of the truth.

He deeply exhales, gaze softening as he looks over you. He pauses, seeming like he's analysing you, eyes honing in on your evading ones. "What's wrong?" 

You knew your gag would be up sooner or later, but you didn't expect it to be this soon. Sometimes, it was like your boyfriend knew things about you before you even did yourself - as though you failed to remember who you were talking to.

"Nothing," you smile, kissing his cheek as you step past him. "Just tired— didn't sleep properly."

"Yeah?" he hums, not quite believing your half-truths. He kicks off his boots and follows you into your room, soft footsteps behind you like a shadow. "How was your day?" he asks, talking like he's scoping you out.

You sit on the foot of your bed, shrugging at him dismissingly. "Same old. How was yours?"

He steps towards you, eyes darting around your room before focusing on you - everything becoming more apparent. "Fine. Good," he nods, softly groaning as he takes a crouch in front of you, kneeling on the floor between your legs so he's level with you. "What's wrong? What's going on?" he asks, eyes following you with the movement of his head, brows narrowing.

"Nothing," you reply, speaking faintly. Responding minimally in case your voice were to break.

"No?" he questions, placing a delicate hand over your knee - the palm emitting warmth onto your skin through the fabric of your pyjamas.

You shake your head, bottom lip beginning to waver under his attention. 

"Then what's on your mind?" he asks gently, his tone warm and concerned.

"I told you," you avoid his eyes, looking down at your hands on your lap. "Didn't sleep well."

He sighs at your tenacity to push him away, head cocking to the side. He adjusts the stance on his knees, and your hands scramble for him - reaching out and holding onto him as if you were to stop him from leaving. Though only he wasn't leaving - he was just getting more comfortable. 

"I wasn't leaving," he murmurs, slipping his hands into yours, thumb brushing over the back of your hand assuringly. "Did you think I was going to leave you?" he asks, lips lining into a faint frown.

You notice his brows tug upwards in the middle, the tell-tell sign he was beginning to think too hard. "No, I was just— I... don't know."

"Well, I'm not," he responds shortly, speaking like he was being stern with you - tough love. "Now, what's going on with you?" he asks, his grip on your hand tightening with a reassuring squeeze, the silent act encouraging you. 

You inhale steadily, letting the air fill your lungs. "I haven't been feeling good."

He keeps his eyes on yours, following you. "Okay, why?" he questions shortly, wanting to get to the root of the problem as quickly as possible.

"I've been sad."

"Why?

You shrug. "I just have."

"I need more than that. Why have you been sad?"

"I don't know."

"Why?" he repeats, brows straightening.  

"Because I feel... ugly."

He hesitates, his shoulders slumping at your confession, visibly digesting your words. "Ugly?" he recites, the remark leaving a foul taste on his tongue. "Honey," he lingers, softly shaking his head.

Bucky stills, his forehead creasing with what you perceive to be pity. His mouth opens as though he's going to say something, only for it to snap back shut. He faintly sighs, bringing your hand to his lips. "You know that's not true, right?" he rhetorically asks, pressing a kiss into the back of your hand.

You don't say anything, the only reply being a short exhale and an awkward smile.

"Because I think you..." he pauses, kissing another patch into your hand. "Are the prettiest," a slow smile lining his lips - an expression that's now mirroring yours.

It was so simple. Everything Bucky did to reassure you - he did with ease. Just the tiny, loving act instantly melting the tension in your mind. His care for you pushing away any sense of self-doubt.

He peppers another kiss into your hand. And another - littering a short string of them over your wrist. "Don't listen to your brain, okay? She's not always right," he murmurs, expression softening like it was reassuring his words.

"I know," you nod, weakly smiling at him. "Just—"

"Hard. I know," Bucky finishes your sentence, nodding at you understandingly. 

He leans forward and places a soft kiss on the centre of your lips - his own brushing over yours sweetly, the action grounding and comforting. He pulls away first, eyes half-lidded as they glance over you, focusing on the almost pleading look on your face.

Your free hand reaches up to his face, palm enclosing his jaw as you bring him back in for a kiss - lips working over his more urgently than the time before. 

"Thank you," you mumble against his mouth, merely pulling away to show your appreciation. "You're so kind to me."

His grip loosens on your hand, now sliding both up to your face, cupping your cheeks as he deepens the kiss - tongue slipping into your mouth willingly. His lips leave yours, trailing a line of kisses along your jaw and down the side of your throat. 

"Always," he murmurs, the short word muffling into your skin. Whispering, "I want to show you just how pretty you are."

A soft whine-like hum vibrates in your throat, the noise accepting his words eagerly. Your hand trails into the short strands of hair at the back of his head, fingers grazing his scalp as you hold him to the crook of your neck. Neck tilting to the side, allowing him more access to you as you reach for his jacket, pushing the fabric off his broad shoulders. 

He presses a final kiss into a patch of your skin and pulls away, looking at your ever-softening features - eyes and brows growing pliant under his attention. His hands slowly roam down to the hem of your t-shirt, fingers hooking under the fabric as they lift, pulling it off your head in a steady, swift motion.

You sit in front of him, chest bare and on display in front of him, letting him take you in - not shying away like you did earlier.

Bucky remains quiet, his eyes fixed on the lewd sight before him, silently storing the image for safekeeping. He brings his hands up towards your tits, cupping under each - holding them in his palms. "So beautiful," he hums, leaning in to place a kiss on the swell below your nipple, giving his attention to each breast.

He rolls them in his strong hands, delicately playing and toying with them, thumbs skimming over your sensitive, hardening nipples, pressing kisses into the skin above. He looks up at you from between your tits, eyes full of love, full of warmth - looking up into your blissed ones with nothing adoration. 

He places a hand over your middle - fingers spread wide as he nudges you backwards, silently and carefully laying you down. Your bare back against the covers with him kneeling on the floor between your spread thighs. 

Barely leaning over you, he reaches up to kiss a trail over your abdomen, lips skimming along your jittering stomach as his fingers slip into the waistband of your underwear and pyjama bottoms. He pulls them down - light tugs as he drags them off your hips and down your thighs, grazing kisses over your now-exposed skin as he undresses your lower half. 

Pulling the fabric off your ankles, he sets it aside, replacing the material that just covered you with kisses - lips grazing up the length of your legs, chaste pecks over your skin like he was worshipping you. The kisses trail higher and higher, reaching up to the crease between your thigh and cunt where he continues the worship, tongue faintly swiping over the skin.

Your hands worm into the roots of his dark hair, fingers locking on the shorts as you hold him to where you want him, guiding him to the needy little spot between your thighs. Chest rising and falling, inner thighs twitching as the anticipation builds in your stomach.

He situates himself in front of your pussy, lips mere inches away as he softly breathes over it - teasing you, his eyes locked on your trembling stomach above. He places a peck on the bottom of your slit. And another. Lining a stripe of kisses up your cunt til he reaches your clit where he skates past the nub, tongue skimming over it.

Hands working over your thighs and to your hips, he adjusts you, placing your legs over his shoulders - letting them drape freely over his blades as he delves in deeper between your thighs, caressing your plushy folds with his lips and tongue. 

You murmur the first half of his name only to be cut off by a whine, the desperate noise catching in your throat when he nips at your clit, his lips wrapping around the mound - tongue skillfully flickering across. 

The noises he muffles are lewd and obscene - gruff, soft groans as he adulates your pussy, pushing his mouth in closer. Your fingers tug tighter on his roots at the consuming feeling, back lifting from the bed in an arch, mindlessly grinding your cunt into his face. 

Within minutes, you become a twitching, moaning pile of mush, coating his chin with your slick as you cum - thighs clamping around Bucky's head between.

He places a final kiss on your pubic bone before pulling away, standing up with a chubbed-up cock in his pants, the area tenting after tasting you. You hold his gaze, looking up at him with blissed eyes and a stir in your stomach - the sight of him making your cunt twitch. 

He wipes the wet from his chin on the back of his hand, briskly drying his stubble before undressing his lower half - tugging down on his combat pants and boxers, letting the material pool around his ankles as his cock springs free. Full length hard and ready, tip leaking precum. 

You scooch up your bed, resting flat with your head on the pillow, eagerly awaiting him. Your thighs instinctively spread as he crawls up the bed and between your legs, slotting his lower half between you - anchoring his weight on his hands either side of your head.

He leans in to kiss you, making you taste yourself on his tongue, the residual creamy slick transferring onto your own. Cock absentmindedly rubbing up against your pussy, the faint friction making you whimper into his mouth.

Your hands hook into the hem of his t-shirt, fingers gripping the bottom of the fabric as you guide it up his back, pulling it over his head as you break the kiss - his chest now bare and up against yours. 

Balancing on his left metal hand, he dips the other between you, reaching for his cock, wrapping his fingers around the base. He gives himself a few short strokes, guiding his head towards you - pushing his tip through the slick of your folds, coating his cock in your wetness before sinking into you.

You take him at your own pace, walls fluttering and loosening around his shaft as he eases more of himself into you - your pussy swallowing little bits of him at a time. Your hand paws at his wrist placed on your hip, fingers enveloping around the thickness, silently pleading and begging him to get closer.

He looks down at the lewd sight of you spread out in front of him: your brows knitted, eyes soft, lips bitten - natural, unadulterated beauty all desperate and malleable for him. He notices the bliss cloud in your eyes and gives your glistening, stuffed pussy a final once over before hovering back over you, chest lingering above yours. 

His lips skim over your jaw, trailing even more kisses down the side of your throat, giving you easing, reassuring pecks as he slips more of his cock into you - distracting you from the dull ache. 

"You are so beautiful," he whispers into your skin, sealing the compliment with a kiss. "You really are," he adds, pressing kisses into your shoulder. "I don't know how you don't see it."

You bend at the knee, holding it at his side - the new angle opening your hips wider, allowing that last bit of his cock to slide in, head hitting at the hilt. You keep him snug to you, arms lazily wrapped around his neck, your other leg entangling with his as your lips shadow each other. 

The moonlit room fills with soft, wet clicking - the sound of your pussy and sticky skin hitting cuts through the bliss-filled noises that slip past both of your lips, lewd noises surrounding you in the dark.

Bucky pulls his forehead from the crook of your neck to look down at you, eyes hinting at something - like his mind was temporarily elsewhere.

"Earlier," he starts, his voice hoarse as his hips wind into you, cock rubbing your walls so nicely. "When you said that thing," he adds, following your eyes when they bashfully divert away. "You tell me when you feel like that... I'd be happy to remind you just how pretty you are."

a/n. I had an idea for myself, what?? and my first full fic in almost a year??

[monzamash]

to be loved — carlos sainz

carlos sainz x you — “i can take care of you. you won't need anyone but me.” requested by @dancininseptember masterlist

The short stroll from your office to the apartment never really bothered you. In fact, you typically enjoyed the fresh air and the chance to enjoy the city you loved. But it was early February; rain was threatening the Spanish skies and the frost bitten breeze stung your already tear-filled eyes. It was a crappy end to an even shittier week, your energy wasted on people who didn’t deserve it.

You practically flung yourself through the door of the apartment and shed all remnants of the day – coat, beanie and scarf, all strewn haphazardly, and in that order, on the floor of your small entryway. It took every ounce of energy you had to kick off your heavy boots, each one hitting the wall much harder than you intended. Maybe it was an unconscious way for you to let out frustration, the scuff marks on the white wall a stark reminder of your last straw.

The smell of fresh bread and bolognese sauce hit you as you slunk down the hallway, your tummy grumbling on instinct. You hadn’t eaten since yesterday, a terrible habit you had fallen into lately and Carlos had noticed. He was home more during the cooler months, easily picking up on your little habits that both endeared and worried him. So he made sure, while he was close to you, that you came home to a warm meal every night – because looking after you was his calling in life.

“That smells incredible.”

Carlos briefly glanced over his shoulder and gave you a bright smile before turning down the stove and grabbing a washcloth to clean his hands. You loved him like this; soft and relaxed, in his element. The kitchen was his playground and you remember the sigh of relief that left your lungs when he told you he loved to cook on your first date, because you weren’t particularly gifted when it came to the pots and pans.

“Hope you’re hungry,” He sang, circling the island in the middle of the kitchen to say a proper hello to his beautiful girlfriend, “How was your day?”

A rigid sigh fell from your lips as you fell into his arms, the loving embrace triggering tears to spring to your eyes for the third time today. Carlos held you tight and brushed his hands down your back, comforting you through the sobs wracking your aching body.

“Ay, mi amor,” He soothed, “Breathe for me please.”

Carlos guided you through a couple of deep breaths, chests rising and falling together in synchronicity until your sobs subsided, air finally filling your lungs again. A tight squeeze around your waist brought you back to the man holding you in his arms, worried eyes searching yours for a sign that you were okay as you pulled back and gave him a soft smile.

“I’m okay, I’m sorry.” You sniffled, head shaking.

Carlos tutted as he thumbed away the trail of tears from your face, “Do not say sorry, my love. Talk to me…”

Anger replaced sadness as you told him about how your sister had completely disregarded your feelings for the millionth time, accusing you of only caring about yourself while she’s all alone and stressed about wedding planning. Carlos has managed to get you to sit up on the counter beside him while he finished dinner, but not before pouring you a glass of red wine to nurse while you purged all the negativity from your day.

“She called me a bitch and then uninvited us from the wedding, which by the way I didn’t want to go too to begin with,” You huffed, hands animatedly flying around while he tried to keep up with the drama.

“And all I said to her was that work has been stressful and that us trying for a baby hadn’t been… fruitful, I guess. She flipped out when I said that because her dickhead fiancé doesn’t want kids and she thinks she can change his mind…”

You took a sip of wine and noticed Carlos' eyes rolling like they always did when the topic of your sister came up. He was as sick of her shit as you were, unapologetically scoffing at her selfishness. Making you feel bad when all you needed was someone to confide in was one thing, but lashing out on you was something he couldn’t stand by and watch. He knew he couldn’t do anything right now; maybe he would make a stern phone call tomorrow once the dust had settled.

So instead of getting upset, he put down the wooden spoon coated in the most delicious sauce you had ever tasted and nestled himself between your swinging legs. His warm chocolate eyes stared into your soul as he planted his palms on your thighs, tethering himself to you.

“You know I can take care of you, mi vida,” He said, voice deep and barely above a whisper, “No matter the problem, you won't need anyone but me, I promise.” 

For the first time in weeks, you felt your heart slow down and return to a normal rhythm as Carlos pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. You softly moaned in unison and gripped the grey shirt hanging loosely from his shoulders, pulling him in closer – not that he had any plan on going anywhere.

No, all he wanted was for his girl to feel heard and to be loved because all he needed was you.

a/n — loved writing carlos again. inbox detox is still open !!

[genericpuff]

completely off topic but regarding something that i saw pop up in my FB feed and i need to rant about

please do not fall for this shit

nintendo is NOT anti-AI.

it's really easy for them to say they're not going to use generative AI to create their games, because this statement has nothing to do with the very real issues with AI art such as the blatant theft of artists' work, environmental impact, replacement of humans in the industry, and just flat out unethical shit that AI has been designed around

it has EVERYTHING to do with their intellectual property rights, which Nintendo is NOTORIOUS for protecting with an iron fist even at their own expense. and i'm not talking the usual sensible argument shit like "ofc Nintendo wants to protect their IP's, they're a business!" i'm talking about the fact that this is the same company that just recently did a major takedown of the vast majority of Nintendo-licensed games on Vimm's Lair which aren't even being sold legitimately anywhere anymore-

i have so many fucking bones to pick with the flaccid bootlicking anti-piracy arguments out there but basically it comes down to this:

Nintendo is not a small indie company. They are literally one of the biggest, richest, most powerful gaming companies on the planet, rivalling Disney in just how many major franchises they own and profit off of. Many of their games are cultural classics, not just through the sentimentality and nostalgia of our childhoods, but also for all the innovations they made through games like Super Mario Bros, Super Mario 64, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and many others that we, within the world of gaming, owe a lot to and should be able to access and play. It's not a matter of "wanting these games for free", it's a matter of wanting to be able to access these games, period, and Nintendo is deadset on making it as difficult as possible, even when it doesn't necessarily profit from them (need I remind you that many of the games that were taken down from Vimm's Lair are NOT available through their shitty, poorly-ported emulation subscription service - plus that subscription service can be altered and/or removed at any time, regardless of what you paid for, just like the Wii Virtual Console was, meaning you do not own any of the games you're paying to play on there.)

This isn't about being "cheap" or "not wanting to pay for games". This is about media preservation and the virtue of actually owning the things we pay for. If these games were resold at official outlets for reduced prices or made more accessible through e-shops that don't close down in between console generations or drip feed the odd legacy title every few months or release crappy ports on their outdated af tech for only a few months at a time for three times the price of their original value, people would gladly pay. It's the fact that people are having to put up with all of the hoops that Nintendo has put in place to prevent them from even handing them money to play their favorite titles that even drives them to piracy to begin with, and Nintendo will gladly shut those sites down to protect their IP even when it's an IP they're no longer profiting from and aren't making active efforts to sell.

Like, I would gladly hand over a reasonable amount of money (i.e. not the cost of a brand new triple A title in 2024 which is like $80-$100 here in Canada) for Diddy Kong Racing on the Switch, but ofc it's not on the fucking online play store and even if it was, I'd have to deal with paying an overpriced subscription fee for a port of the game that would undoubtedly run WORSE than it does on my PC, and that subscription service can be taken down at any time. But Nintendo wants me to not pirate the game that's not available on their shitty subscription service because... just don't do it, pretty please??

Nintendo is not anti-AI. They would gladly use AI in place of manual labor to scour the internet and dish out DMCA's to every emulation site, archived ROM hub, fan game, and artist alley creator if they could... oh wait, they already are.

Do not fall for the virtues of anti-AI when it comes to companies like Nintendo. They are not anti-AI. They're anti-ownership. They're anti-preservation.

[double-features]

ALIVE - TATE LANGDON x READER

˙◠˙------ tate langdon x gn!reader

SUMMARY : after finding out the captivating boy they fell in love with was dead, no more than a phantom haunting their house, reader wants to join him in the afterlife. they needed to stay with him forever.

WARNINGS : (attempted) suicide, topics of death

GENRE : my crappy attempt at angst!!

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The little bottle of prescription pills should have worked its magic. But..

You were still alive.

Having lived in the so-called 'murder house', you figured your death would be inevitable; bound to happen whether you liked it or not. And frankly, you liked it. Being just another angsty teenager, you thought that maybe things would have gotten better,

And for the most part, they did. And who else was there to thank for that than Tate. The mysterious boy that drew you in like a moth to the flame. Maybe it was his cute dimples, or those intense near-black eyes that sent shivers down your spine every single time you looked at them.. Maybe it was the morbidity that seemed to follow him, how someone so angelic had so much baggage following him.. Whatever the case, you were both intrigued and smitten.

“I would never let anyone or anything hurt you” God, Tate had such a way of making you feel seen. Making you feel like the most special person on the planet, even if you thought of yourself far from such.

You were important to him, that's all that mattered.

'My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains', you were never one for poetry before you met the boy who seemed to pop up out of nowhere; but he sparked an interest in you like no other. Tate made you feel, he was the one who kept you grounded. Poetry ended up being one of the most important things in your life after he mentioned Keats once.

He was like a guardian angel sent from the skies to protect you. Whether or not the big man up in the clouds was real, you were certain that Tate was meant to be your savior. Your wonderwall.

Such an ironic choice of words, really. Oasis' frontman himself gave the explanation on what the hell a wonderwall was; an imaginary friend who could save you from yourself. There were so many layers to that, so many connections to what you were dealing with now..

Alas, you two had been so in love. Sappy, lovesick children who clung to each other like lifelines. Tate needed you, you needed Tate. His idolization of Kurt Cobain meant so many sessions where the both of you just sat together and listened to Nirvana, cuddled up on the bed. You were locked inside his heart-shaped box. All the comfortable sweaters he lent you to keep warm at night..

“I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone..”

You should have known it was all too good to be true. Someone who fits perfectly with you? Yeah right. You still couldn't forget the sinking feeling in your gut when you first read that news article that just so happened to pop up when you were looking for Westfield High's website--

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Westfield Highschool student Tate Langdon, age 17, shot and killed 15 fellow students, injured countless others. There is no motivation known as to why the boy went through with it- some speculate drugs and bullying might have been involved, but others claim he hadn't even dealt with much.

“I didn't really know who he was, I remember that he sat in the library a lot. Just sat there, like, me and a few of my friends would stop in there during our study hall and he'd just be seated, looking at whatever book he picked out for that day,” states one student we interviewed after the massacre.

Whatever led to such a tragic event, late yesterday evening, the FBI shot the class of 94' alumni and brought justice to the innocent students he murdered just earlier in the day. Was this an elaborate suicide act? We may never know the real reason behind the sickening actions of Langdon.

All we can say is, for the families of the lives lost at Westfield, don't give up. None of this is your fault...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

It was all so sickening.

Tate. The boy you had clicked with, the boy you gravitated towards, quite possibly one of the first major loves of your life. This.. psychopathic monster was not the Tate you had grown so fond of. Sure, Tate was a little weird, there was obviously some sort of chemical imbalance, but he would never do anything so horrible.. Would he?

Every time you click on another article, the more dread filled the pit you feel deep inside you. All the glee that being with Tate had brought you so far since your move all seemed to crumble, along with the trust you had built. Tate was a ghost.

A ghost. Dead. Just a part of your imagination. At first, you believed that maybe you had heard the name somewhere before and created this delusion of a boyfriend. But that didn't explain how the pictures perfectly matched the appearance of the grungey blond.

That was your breaking point. The moment your seemingly recovered misery returned, it hit harder than ever before.

Tate was dead. He killed people. You didn't even notice the sting in your heart at first until you saw the prescription medication in your peripheral.

Maybe it was the need to be with Tate in the afterlife, maybe it was just the old ideations bubbling over, or maybe it was the guilt of 'dating' someone so damaged. Whatever the reason, the impromptu decision led you to where you are now; in the arms of the boy you loved, under the running frigid water of the shower.

You were still alive.

Feeling the wet, cold sleeves of a sweater wrapped around your waist, you leaned back into the person seated behind you. Curse Tate for being so strangely comforting! You weren't supposed to crave his touch anymore, you were supposed to hate his guts.. But you couldn't bring yourself to do that. You could never hate Tate.

Never.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Even hours later, not a single word was shared between the both of you guys. When he finally released you from the cramped tub and let you cope alone in your room, there was a strange pit inside of her, an emptiness that only Tate filled.

On your bed, you blankly stared at the ceiling and debated whether or not you wanted him there by your side in that moment. No matter which way you looked at it; he was the push factor for your failed attempt. Then again, it was worth mentioning that..

Tate saved you.

Contradictory, isn't it? The conflict is also the resolution. The usual pessimistic attitude you held would tell you that the negatives outweighed the overlying positive, but not this time. Your thoughts all led you to one need. Tate.

Weakly, you called out into your room, not nearly loudly enough to be considered a yell. “Tate..”

By your bedside appeared the tall boy, looking just as empty as you felt. He looked like the shell of what you knew him to be, there was no doubt that, just like you, he was affected by what happened. Why wouldn't he be? He loved you.

For what felt like forever, the two of you stared into the others dull gaze, searching for any sign of emotion to appear. It was quickly broken by him, voice shaky as he slowly sat down next to you.

“..Why would you do that..? Why would you hurt yourself like that..?”

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you didn't have some silly comeback. There was nothing funny about this at all. “I..”

“Is something wrong..? Was I not a good enough boyfriend..?”

“I'm still alive..”

The comment seemed to take Tate off guard, evident with the widened eyes and lack of a quick response. “You're-- Yeah. You're still alive..”

Alive. Because of Tate. For now, you decided to keep your awareness of what he did in his lifetime to yourself. Since, despite everything, he was still your savior. Misery loves company.

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≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼ ------ reblogs & likes are always appreciated, keeps me motivated to continue creating :)

A/N : first attempt at angst, totally rushed because it was my goal to just get something out before christmas. posting schedule is NAWT existent, sigh.

[ramblebramblefun]

The back pieces of Dynamight's mask tilt this way and that like some kind of weather vane, as the wind picks up before the storm.

Red sky at morning. Hero's sure warning.

He looks... Well, he looks like Kacchan always does, just with dramatic lighting. Backlit by the red rising sun, he looks like a villain's sure warning, with his lips pulled down in a familiar frown and the knowledge Izuku has of just what he's capable of.

Kacchan's amazing.

... He doesn't do well in the rain though.

Kacchan is scowling at the clouds on the horizon like the weather is conspiring to personally offend him.

That's not very likely; Izuku has been dutifully checking the weather each time Dynamight and Deku are scheduled to patrol together, and learning a little about how weather forms while he's at it.

(If Kacchan's still going to call him a nerd, he might as well live up to it.)

High pressure systems, low pressure systems, convection currents, latitude, the jet stream, the water cycle, rain shadows-

Izuku could tell you all about the weather, but Kacchan would probably tell him to shut up and drag him away to do "more important things."

Patrol is very important, but somehow Izuku doesn't think that's what Kacchan means.

For example, if Izuku were to attempt to inform Kacchan all about the weather, he has the sneaking suspicion that Kacchan would just let him. Kacchan's eyes might glaze over and he might practically fall asleep on his feet, but he would grimly continue on in his Kacchan way, trying his best to give Izuku his full attention.

And then blow up someone else.

Kacchan's been like that since the war. Izuku can do almost whatever he wants, and Kacchan will pretend that it's fine.

It's not fine, though.

Izuku almost wishes sometimes that things would go back to the way they used to be, when Kacchan would blow up at him and assert his boundaries so that Izuku knew where not to step next time.

It had been awful, but by the end of middle school Kacchan had actually been a lot better than he had been at the beginning, the Incident notwithstanding. Or, rather, Izuku had gotten better at squishing himself into the little box that Kacchan demanded that he inhabit.

Izuku doesn't even want to tell Kacchan about the weather. He can tell Ochako, who will laugh at his enthusiasm, or Shouto, who will respond with a thumbs up and a smiley face emoji. That's his thing, lately.

But if Izuku wanted to tell Kacchan about the weather, then Kacchan would let him, even though he really did not give two shits and would probably rather do anything else than stand on a rooftop listening to Izuku ramble on about how in the southern hemisphere the winds are so strong that they call them-

Anyway. That's not the point.

The point is... The point is, Izuku can never really be sure if Kacchan actually wants to hear Izuku talk about things-that-are-not-the-weather, or if he's just humouring him because Kacchan's just weird like that now.

Like, yeah, Izuku and Kacchan are friends now, and that's amazing, Kacchan's amazing, but...

But. They are standing on a rooftop, taking a break, and Izuku has no idea what to say to him.

Hello? The weather looks crappy?

How are you? Do you think you'll be okay?

Are we okay? How do I talk to you? What do you like to talk about? Because you will not throw me off this building if I open my mouth, but that doesn't mean you care about what I have to say? I'm not fucking fragile? I won't cry if you tell me to shut up? Or at least pick another topic?

Izuku could explain Kacchan's own quirk back to him in a way that makes his eyes narrow in intrigue, but he cannot, for the life of him, tell what's going on in Kacchan's head.

He used to have a pretty good read on him. Izuku used to own the dictionary to Kacchanese, and every time Kacchan did something, Izuku would know why.

Izuku does not know why Kacchan is standing on a rooftop next to him, watching him out of the corner of his eye.

He's been doing that a lot lately, too. Looking at Izuku when he seems to think Izuku won't notice.

That's silly. Izuku always notices. It's Kacchan. If Kacchan's looking at him-

Then Izuku is looking right back.

Kacchan doesn't even startle when he realises Izuku has caught him in the act. The old Kacchan might have blustered something about Izuku being the one staring at him all the time, but new Kacchan...

New Kacchan just raises an eyebrow.

A challenge.

Izuku can do challenge.

He lets his lips pull up in the start of Deku's signature smile.

Dynamight grins right back.

And then they're off, and they're going to have to talk, one of these days, about how Izuku is supposed to talk to this new, quieter, overly permissive Kacchan and how all that crap in middle school doesn't mean that Kacchan isn't allowed to have boundaries now and how maybe they should both see a therapist like how Tsuyu told him last week, but for now, today, jumping off a skyscraper-

For now, Izuku has a race to win.

First one to the scene, first one home, first to reach number one- The rest of their lives, chasing each other, just like this.

Bring it on.

[writingmingyu]

This with Mingyu 😩

https://pin.it/6DyqqgzTR

I'm sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a while! I've just been so busy with work that I haven't thought about writing BUT I totally see this.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It would be like you and Mingyu were in the same friendship group in high school but you would never hang out one on one. Not because you couldn't, I mean you'd known each other for YEARS. But it would just be a bit weird? You didn't really have common interests, you were both brought into the group as friends of friends and while you got along in a group setting, being alone you feel like you'd not have much to say to one another.

It wasn't until you both went to college that the group dispersed. And you found yourself in the same dorm as him. 

It was kind of funny, out of all of your friendship group that you'd both be there. Mingyu saw you struggling with some boxes when trying to move in and offered to help. You were relieved to see at least one familiar face around. Even if it was him.

Despite the fact you hadn't talked much in the past, you did find yourself talking to Mingyu more and more. At first it was just in passing in the hallway or at fresher events. And then it was him inviting you out to parties and introducing you to new people. That was something Mingyu was always good at while you had struggled so you were thankful to have him. 

A year or so later, you found yourself in the shared dorm kitchen late at night. Mingyu was there cooking some ramen and offered you some so you hung out and got to talking. 

This was a normal occurrence, at first by accident and then more and more you found yourself in the kitchen when you discovered Mingyu was the king of making instant ramen noodles. 

It was weird but something about knowing Mingyu for so long made it easy to talk to him. Maybe it was because you didn't care what he thought or you didn't think he'd remember but you had started confiding in him. 

Tonight though, something felt different. The actions were the same, Mingyu standing by the stove and you sitting on the counter, sharing how your days went. Then as you sat down to eat the topic changed and instead of you confiding in Mingyu, he had decided to open up to you. 

The realisation came slowly, as you were watching him talk, your eyes focusing in on features on his face you'd never noticed before. Your body involuntarily leaning closer to his to feel his warmth and breathe him in. It was as if time had stood still and it was just you and him, the last people on earth in this crappy kitchen eating instant noodles. 

“Sorry, I'm boring you aren't I?” Mingyu said, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

“No!” You rushed to say, “I was just thinking about how much I like this.”

“Me too,” he smiled. “You better start eating or your food will be cold!”

You pick up your chopsticks and begin eating as Mingyu continues with his story. So you might be falling in love with this idiot, or at least starting to see him as more than that guy you knew in high school. Normally that idea would freak you out, but being here with him, a sense of calmness and serenity washed over you. And you knew that if this was the rest of your life it wouldn’t be so bad.

[jillsandwhichs]

Our Future Days

Joel Miller x Reader series, Chapter 5, Cherished Times

Masterlist

Pairing: F!reader & Joel Miller

Summary: You and Joel spend Friday evening together, you get high and have a great, memorable talk

WC: 3.6k

Type: SFW

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Friday, finally. The day has officially come but it feels like no time has passed since you and Joel, along with little Sarah, had a meal together. That dinner was excellent, it had you contemplating the night you three had the rest of the day and even the past two days. Now, all you've been doing is sitting in your kitchen, at the centered island counter and waiting for Joel to arrive home.

He texted you a bit earlier saying he'd be working later than usual, but by ten, he'll be home. You're still unaware of what it is he exactly has planned for you, but you're excited nonetheless. The idea of actually hanging out with him one on one sounded great, you two haven't been able to do so yet, but finally! You enjoyed being with Sarah, of course, but you and Joel didn't get to engage in topics you wish you could have. Maybe tonight is the night you'll be able to.

Becker was being a good boy too, just laying on the kitchen floor, huffing out to himself. Becker isn't used to being alone as often as he has been, but he'll adapt. You always make sure to leave some lights on along with the television, without some brightness and sound, the dog would go mad. He'd go mental. Sometimes, while you're at work, you'll speak to him through the monitor you bought on Tuesday, just so he feels a tad bit more comfortable being lonely.

Nonetheless, you were on edge about seeing Joel. Before you left his home the other day, he seemed so on the DL about why exactly he wanted to see you on Friday, especially later at night. You didn't care, not at all, but your inquisitive side was surely curious. All you had to wait for was that large, black truck to pull up onto your guy's shared street, then you'd know he's home. You plan to text him before going over there too, not wanting to intrude too early.

Your head quickly turned at the sound of your iPhone buzzing on the counter, shaking as it did. It could only be one person - Joel. You picked up your phone, clicking the power button with your thumb and reading off the notification. It was him, thankfully.

"On my way home now, bring a snack with you or something, a drink or two too."

His message was short and sweet.

You didn't fully grasp why you'd need to bring snacks and drinks though, you two definitely weren't going to a movie theatre, it closes after the last showing and that was damn near an hour ago. But whatever, you suppose, you luckily went grocery shopping recently so bringing some stuff over to his house wouldn't be an issue. You messaged back ASAP, hopefully he wasn't already driving home, no texting and driving allowed!

"Sure thing, but why, if I may ask? Lol..."

You also intended to keep your messages short.

You don't want to seem pushy or obsessive, no man likes that. Joel seemed like the type to not really know his way completely around a phone besides texting and calling and maybe some crappy mobile game he downloaded. The idea that Sarah would use his phone to play silly, girly games was adorable, most parents allow their children too, you doubt Joel and Sarah are much of an exception.

As you put your phone down, you stood up and opened the pantry door right beside you. You weren't all too stocked, you've only lived in Austin for a week, so there wasn't much but you could make due. You grabbed the bag of potato chips along with a box of cheese crackers. They aren't the most healthiest nor the best snacks in the world, but they're very tasty and Joel will most likely eat them. Besides, if he doesn't, you can just walk right back across the street and get something else.

Placing the foods on the counter, you immediately opened the fridge right beside it, scanning what drinks you had. By drinks, you and Joel had different things in mind. He'd obviously prefer a beer, so you grabbed him one, grabbing yourself a soda can. You also placed those beside the snacks.

Snacks and drinks, check, for whatever reason he believed the two of you would need them.

Maybe he planned his own personal movie night for the two of you? You're clueless.

As you walked past Becker, you gave him some quick pets, making sure he felt unconditionally loved. Deep down, you do feel sorrow for him. For the fact he's had to be alone recently, you feel guilty. He'll live though, you always come home to him. You sat down on your comfy couch, your phone in hand. You'd just wait til Joel messages back, or until you hear his car pull in. You didn't want to sit in the kitchen any longer.

-

On the dot, ten at night exactly, your phone buzzed as you received a message from Joel. You waited a couple seconds, per usual, before pressing the message and viewing it. This message was a tad bit longer, you reread it a few times, happy with the fact it was longer than the others he has sent before this. The message read,

"Just got home. Let me check on Sarah, then you can come over, so I would say five minutes. Don't forget those snacks and drinks, just sit on the swing out back, wait for me there, yeah? See you in a minute darlin'."

Such a cute message.

You had already figured he'd check on Sarah first and as he should, he's a wonderful father from what you have seen so far and Sarah appears to be a sweet young little lady, you're grateful to have already met her. You also didn't know until just now that he had a swing out back, that would be fun. At least now you know that a movie night is checked off of the list since you two will be outside rather than in.

Getting up off of the couch, you doubled check to make sure Becker had food and water in his bowl; He'll be a whiney baby without both. You'd try to be home before midnight, you have no clue if you work tomorrow, they told you that weekends would be off and on - You didn't mind. You decided to just message back, letting him know you saw his first.

"Okay, see you soon Joel."

You made sure your phone was strictly set in the back pocket of your jeans, not wanting it to slip out at all. You also grabbed the snacks and drinks, managing to carry all of it in your hands. It was not the most efficient way, but it got the job done and that is all that matters. You chose to just wait on your porch til it was time. "I'll see you soon babyboy." You whispered to Becker, puckering your lips and making a few kissing noises. He just stuck his tongue out and ran back to the couch. "Crazy dog." You snickered out as you opened the front door, then closed it.

Outside, the air felt thin. It was more cold outside than hot, the occasional breeze hitting your face. The sound of crickets and owls could be heard in the distance, along with cicadas which were so very annoying. The other day before you went into work, you found a cicada shell on the hood of your car - Scary. Your phone read 10:03 now, so you began to make way to his place. You'd just have to cut past the fence and into his backyard, then you'd be able to see the swing you have yet to ever see.

As you treaded across the street, out of the corner of your eye you saw a light in his house switch off. You're assuming Sarah's light since it was upstairs, Joel must be making his way down now. Beneath you, you could hear the grass crunching and the sidewalks scratchy, gravel sound. You were almost tiptoeing now, feeling like a teenager sneaking out all over again. But alas, you're a young adult with your actual own free will now. You could do anything - With limits, of course.

You cut through Joel's backyard, taking a glance and scanning the area. He must've meant the swing that was resting on his back porch. It looked cozy and sturdy enough, good on him for choosing it to be where you'd both relax. You strolled up to it, staying as quiet as possible. You don't know if whether or not Sarah knows you're coming over, but in case Joel wants it to be just between you two, you tried your best not to be rowdy. Young girls, especially daddy's girls, can hate to share their father.

You'd understand if Sarah was that way. Not that she'd need to worry, it's not like you and Joel are going out. A child's imagination can fly anywhere, especially one who has a high maturity level such as Sarah.

With a soft sigh, you sat down on the swing. It creaked slightly, the sound was a bit eerie. You sat crisscross, you found it more comfortable that way. You waited for Joel to come out the back sliding door, you waited very patiently. As you waited, you set the food down, along with the drinks, hopefully he'll like what you brought over.

The moon was directly in front of where you were sitting, the sight was gorgeous. Not to mention, stars were scattered all along the sky, taking their places as always. You always preferred the sky either at night or when the crack of dawn strikes. It's always beautiful outside. If it was normal, you'd decide to get married at night, just beneath the dark sky, it would be so lovely. You aren't worried about marriage yet though. You are still in your prime.

Whilst you were deep in thought, you heard the back door slide open. Your head shot towards it, a cute smile playing on your lips when you seen Joel. He smiled back, rather a smirk. "Hey sweet thing." "Hi Joel." You replied, he sounded tired, he probably had a rough day at work. "How are you?" "I'm alright, happy to see you though. How about you?" "I'm okay and me too, been waiting." You chuckled, heaving as he took a seat beside you, the weight of the swing increased.

"How's that dog of yours?" "Becker? Great. Just being his usual self. How's Sarah?" "She's doin' just fine, she was awake when I got home, had her right back to bed." Joel snickered, glancing at the food and drinks you brought. "What did ya get?" He asked you. You turned your head and let out a hum before talking. "I got some chips and cheese crackers. A beer for you, soda for me." You voiced, placing the chips and crackers between the two of you, then handing Joel his beer.

"Ah, smart girl." Joel chuckled, cracking the cold can open and holding onto it. "This is that good kind too." He added on. "Why didn't you get yourself a beer?" "Not much of a drinker, I also plan to sleep once we're done, so." "That's alright, you do you." He shot you a quick grin before sipping his beer again. You wanted to ask him why he wanted you to bring snacks and drinks and why exactly he wanted you here at ten, on a Friday. You were very curious.

"So... Joel," You began, drinking some of your pop. "May I ask you some things?" "Shoot." Joel gave you a friendly nod. You gazed at him momentarily, finding it awfully hard to pull your eyes away from him. He looked roughened up, moreso today than ever. It was attractive to say the least. "First off, why did you want me here, today, at this time?" You wondered. "To be quite frank, it's when Sarah is usually in bed, plus I figured you wouldn't tomorrow." He stated. Reasonable enough.

"Okay and why did you suggest I bring some treats? Was it just because?" "Oh, well, that gets me to my point." Joel chuckled, reaching into the pocket of his well worn, stained jeans. The way he did it was so hot, your eyes kept wandering to places they shouldn't have. He pulled out what appeared to be a thick joint, weed, you were stunned. "Say darlin', you ever smoke?" "I mean, once or twice." Truthful. You smoked somewhat in college, but it was always through a pen.

He laughed at your words, not necessarily believing you. He always took you for more of the goodie two shoes type. "It's been a damn rough week for me, I bet for you too, I figure we light it up and get high, you want to or nah?" He questioned you, his Southern accent really pulling through there. You were surprised, honestly. You didn't take Joel for a smoker, a drinker sure, but not a smoker. You hope he doesn't smoke cigarettes, those are nasty. So gross.

"Gee, I haven't smoked in forever." You giggled, your eyes glaring down the joint, it was a fat one, packed real well. "Did you roll it yourself?" "Bought it off a buddy of mine, he sells, seems to make good money therefore I'd assume good weed too." You can't even recall the last time you smoked. You wish you could for this exact moment. "Can I see it?" "Take it." He passed it to you. You took it, the immediate smell of marijuana flowing up to your nose, it's been awhile for sure.

"Looks good." "It is good, promise." He swore to you. Hell, why not? It's been years and besides, you trust Joel and his words. It won't be bad at all. "Sure, what could go wrong? Do you have a lighter?" "That's my girl, I sure do." Joel snorted, taking the blunt back in between his index and his thumb. "I'll take the first hit, let you know if it's good." You shook your head up and down in reply, you truly trust his opinions. As he lit it up, you decided to be honest. "I've only ever smoked through pens." Joel's concentrated eyes focused on the joint as he spoke, "Oh yeah?" "Yeah."

After the paper and weed caught fire, he pulled it away from the lighter, taking a good gander at it before setting the joint between his lips. Joel took a large exhale in, letting all of it delve into his lungs before he pulled it out, letting the smoke come out through his nose. You watched intently the whole time, somewhat in a trance as you stared at him. You didn't realize Joel could get more attractive, yet here you are, believing so.

He seemed to have enjoyed it, no complaints yet or maybe at all. You are a tad bit timid; It's just you haven't done this in so long. What if it gets to the point where you just cannot stop coughing? That'd be a bummer.

"So? How is it?" "Tastes good, not to rough either, think you'll like it, c'mon, give er a shot." His voice was so soft whenever he spoke to you. Does he speak this way to everyone? "Thanks." You mumbled beneath your breath as you took the blunt. You just chose to wing it. You set the thing between your lips, taking a decent drag and then blowing it out through your lips. The grey, smokey smoke quickly disintegrated, as if it had never existed.

Joel was correct - It wasn't bad at all. Tasted sweet, it was weird. All the weed you had in school tasted the exact same, this was an entirely new world for you. "Good?" "Very." You cleared your throat, handing it back to him. "You take it well." He hummed, hitting off of it again. The way he said that made you melt. Any sort of approval from this man was highly welcomed.

"It's been so long." You chuckled out, watching Joel as he let out the smoke. "I smoke here and there, mainly when Sarah is already in bed, she don't even know I do." "Wow, really?" "Not at all, girl would hound me about it if she did." He snickered, handing it back to you now. You took a graceful hit, not even an ounce of a scratchy feeling in your throat occured. "Man, I'm surprised, usually I am non stop hacking." "My buddy makes some good herb, he's been doin' this a long, long time." Joel explained. "Well, he's good." You smiled, handing it back to him.

You weren't looking at Joel, but rather downwards as you smiled. You found yourself enjoying this evening very much. Any time you come home after doing something fun, it's so difficult to sleep because it is all that's roaming through your mind. You lifted your head back up and noticed Joel's dark eyes were fixated on you, a grin on his face whilst he smoked. "You got a pretty smile." He murmured, maintaining eye contact with you as he took a drag.

You giggled slightly, blushing immensely from his compliment. You hoped that under the dark night, he wouldn't take notice of your rosey, smooth cheeks. "You think so?" "Mhm." He responded, coughing slightly as he passed the joint back over to you. "Thanks." Your eyes twinkled while you stared at him. It was safe to say that around Joel, you feel all sorts of ways. No one back home made you feel like this. It was totally new. You'd never met a man like him, he was different in the most amazing way possible.

Breathing in deeply, you felt the smoke linger in your throat and mouth as it exhaled through your nostrils and out into the windy night air. You shivered slightly, not fully expecting the breeze. Joel took notice of it. "Let me go inside and grab us a blanket, yeah?" "Okay, thank you." You eyed him as he stood up, briskly walking into the house and very shortly after, coming back out. He had medium sized plaid blanket, it'd work for the two of you to share.

"Alrighty." He grunted, plopping back down and covering you up first, then himself. The blanket simply rested on your guy's laps. You two were also sitting quite close together. It was cozy, the two of you all alone beneath the brave sky before you. You were happy you got to experience this. You wonder how your life would be currently if Joel wasn't even your neighbor. Probably be a whole lot different, not as anticipating, that's for sure.

Out of no where, not even a peep to be heard, you began to laugh, uncontrollably. It was absolutely so random. You tossed your head back, your giggles filling the air as you laughed effortlessly. Joel looked at you, a sparkle in his eyes as he did. He knew what was going on. You were stoned, out of this world stoned. Higher than a kite even. You snorted, covering your mouth and snickering. "I can't- I can't stop." You laughed out your words. Joel began to chuckle with you, being able to control himself unlike you.

"You got a case of perma grin. Don't worry, it oughta go away soon." He laughed, his arm around the chair as the swing swung. "Oh my Gosh." You laughed harder, hiding your face in your hands. Joel just kept watching you, enthralled like never before. Oh how pretty he found you to be. "Let it out sunshine." He bellowed, his pearly whites flashing. That was the first time you ever saw him truly let out a smile in front of you.

"Forgive me." You giggled, tears forming in your eyes from how much you were tittering. "That's alright, you got high for the first time in awhile, I ain't surprised." He said softly. You felt his hand touch your shoulder, his arm wrapping around you. You smiled whilst laughing at you scooted closer to him, placing your head on his shoulder. "It's been way too long." "Maybe we gotta do this again another time." "Most definitely." You responded.

You were shocked that he wrapped his arms around you. The warm embrace felt nice, you glady accepted it. Within the proximity of Joel's backyard, you could hear the wildlife as if it were only feet away. The night was rather young and so calm, you were enjoying this more than you intended on. Joel's arm around you was glorious, you felt on top of the world. You wonder everyday how he feels for you. If you're the only one developing feelings, you'll feel like a total fool.

"This is nice." Sure is." Joel replied, slurping some of his beer. "Time is it?" Joel questioned you. You pulled your phone out, it was fifteen minutes after ten. "10:15, guess I didn't realize that much time went by." "Time goes by when you're having fun." Joel stated the iconic saying. He wasn't wrong.

"Wanna come inside? We can continue smokin' in there, or watch a movie, I don't care what it is we do, it's just nice to get a damn break, especially one with you." Joel spoke, you heard him curse to himself beneath his breath afterwards. It was silly, hearing him talk somewhat romantic. You pulled away with a glimmer. "Yeah, of course. I don't think I can do a movie tonight but smoking and eating some of these snacks would be nice." "Great... C'mon now." Joel let you go, standing up and opening the door.

You walked through first, carrying everything. He then walked in behind you.

What a great night so far.

[starkwub]

(Tw: Starkercest)

Mob boss! Tony and his son, Peter (super out of the blue idea (considering I usually never write mob Au's), but figured I'd write it down ha!)

Just thought of Mob boss Tony allowing Peter, his prized possession son, go out on his own to live life since the boy had been harping about it for ages. Peter wanted to feel like all the other kids in his class. He didn't want body guards or exuberant allowances--nothing.

Tony of course couldn't say no after having done so for years-but that didn't mean he wouldn't be tricky about it.

Peter didn't have to know that he hired people to go to his house and be sketchy--knocking on the door at strange hours of the night or tampering with his window. Perhaps even telling the men to make creeping sounds within the home, just so Peter might feel more afraid of being on his own. He'd get people to stare at him on the streets, or following him after a late night shift at work in a dark hoodie with a jangling set of keys in their pockets so the boy would know they were there.

At first Peter wasn't all too fazed--thinking that it was just another one of 'dad's undercover body guards', but after a while--with his Dad denying the accusations and having not recognized any of the gruff and uneasy looking faced that met his gaze, the paranoia started to set in.

When it got to the point where Peter couldn't sleep for hardly a wink before startling at a creak in the floorboards or a brushing knock at his door--he did the only thing he possibly could think to do in that instance.

Call his Dad.

Sniffling, Peter grappled for his phone in the dark and clicked on his dad's profile, hearing the dial on the other end and then the un-familar beeping.

Why wasn't he picking up?. He always picked up.

It had been nearly 15 seconds before the beeping stoped and then came a sleep-laden voice on the other end.

"What is it baby? It's late, you should be asleep by now."

Peter shivered at the comforting voice and huddled a bit in the bed, pulling the blankets up and over top of his knees.

"Dad I.." He sniffled, looking worryingly at his bedroom door,

"I wanna come home. Just to visit--of course."

When his dad pressed on the topic, wonder why such a sudden thought had crossed his mind at three am, Peter just pouted and wrapped an arm around his knees tightly.

"Haven't seen you in a while s'all.." and suddenly his tone turned sour, "Why? You don't want me there?"

Tony coo'd and seemed to ruffle his bedding on the other side of the phone before speaking in a tone that Peter knew all too well.

"Of course I want to see you baby. Wish you where here right now so all you had to do was knock on my door, crawl into bed, and tell Daddy what's wrong instead of calling from a state that's a million miles away."

Daddy. Peter's heart thumped in his chest wildly at the honorific. It'd been so long..too long, since he'd heard it.

"It's not a million, jeez.." Peter retorted, suddenly remembering back to what it felt like to be with his Dad. His room somehow was always so much warmer than his own, and as he flexed his fingers to feel them stiffen from the chill, he sighed.

"I'll see you tomorrow then? I'm off with this weekend so I'll let them know I can't do any overtime."

"Mm.." Tony hummed, shuffling a bit more, "Alright sweetheart."

They stayed on the line for a few moments longer, and as Peter yawned, now letting his body slip back down to the crappy mattress, he breathed out against his phone.

"Want me to stay on the line?"

Peter nodded sleepily, knowing that his Dad couldn't see it, nor hear it, so he let out a muffled hum of his own, enjoying the subtle deep chuckle that came from his father's throat in response.

-- -- --

There can always be more, but I'm going to stop it here and count it as a win that I've finally written and posted something on here again XD I've been so enamored by the Harry Potter fandom as of late so my mind has taken to straying away from Starker more than usual

Hope everyone is doing okay! :)

[misc-obeyme]

Ok so I'm a Lucifer's fan wouldn't be cute If Mc and Lulu had like a lot of daughters together and they just come around Lulu jump at him asking for him attention.

"Daddy pick me up please🥺"

"No Is my turn! Daddy pick me uup!😡"

And the funny part is that drama never stops in the house when the daughters fight for his attention or for their own clothes or when their periods come and how emotional/chaos they can be.

When they get up in the middle of the night and ask to sleep with their parents of course being near daddy Luci- ahem.

Literally all of them are daddy's girls including Mc😂

Poor Lucifer. First he has to deal with the chaos of his six lil bros then he switches to dealing with the chaos of multiple daughters lol. Are there six of them, too? Because that'd be funny.

Lucifer is such Dad material, imo, but I think he'd be far more lenient with his daughters than he is with his brothers.

Not to get angsty, but I think a lot about how Lucifer would deal with having kids with MC. There's no question that he has daddy issues. I think it's easier for him to consider Satan his little brother than it would be for him to consider Satan his son.

Because look at who he has as a role model... I think he would struggle with the idea that he couldn't be a good father because he only had a crappy one.

But he'd also have MC and it's not like Simeon and Barbatos aren't right there being father figures, you know what I'm saying??

Anyway, back to the topic which is that it would be incredibly cute if Lucifer had a bunch of daughters that were very demanding of his attention. I think he'd be a big softie and give in to them constantly. MC would not help the situation at all.

I also see him helping them with homework and making them pancakes... what a guy. If they need a private tutor, he sends to them to Uncle Satan. If they want to play Fangol, he sends them to Uncle Beel. That is really cute to imagine lol!

[everygame]

Star Wars (Arcade)

Developed/Published by: Atari Released: 05/05/1983 Completed: n/a Completion: I’ve played it hundreds of times…

It’s been a tough few weeks here at exp. Towers with a lot of stress and sadness for a variety of reasons (though the book launch has been fantastic: I’m so grateful to everyone who picked up a copy!) I feel pretty bad that I wasn’t able to post an article last week (and even this one is showing up, technically, a day late.) There just hasn’t been that much time–any time–for gaming. So let’s go all the way back to the beginning.

The very first game I ever played.

I’ve talked about this before, but this is the very first game controller I ever held:

It is still one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. In fact, I’ve often considered picking up a GRS Flight Yoke so I can touch one whenever I want (or even do something absurd like try and play through X-Wing with it or something) but it’s a bit cost prohibitive.

[“Hang on. You’ve been saving your pennies to pick up a XE-1 AJ Cyberstick because it can be set up left-handed and you regret that you never got the first re-issue, and that’s basically as expensive. Consider your priorities, man!”--Ed.]

Wow, rude–though I’d probably use the Cyberstick… more? (Though looking at how well the yoke works with a variety of games on MAME, I'm conflicted.) But to get back on topic, the original Star Wars arcade release is very special to me. At some point in the 80s, but a bairn, on a visit to the Magnum, Irvine’s long gone (long gone–it’s just a field now) leisure centre, my dad sat in the “cockpit” version of the arcade cabinet popped me on his knee, put in 20p and I was transported into Star Wars.

It really had everything. You’re flying an X-Wing towards the Death Star. The music you know is booming, the actual characters from the movie are cheering you on with voice samples, you get to shoot tie fighters, do a trench run and even shoot the exhaust port. Even with your dad gently guiding the controls, it feels incredible. You are never the same again.

And in many ways, neither were video games! Released in early 1983, I think that Star Wars represents the first true “thrill ride” arcade machine in its cockpit form as a game that absorbs the player totally in an (albeit slight) narrative. There had been sit-down arcade cabinets before–Atari themselves had released Hi-Way as early as 1975, but this wasn’t just a racer. 

It’s interesting to consider that this is also likely a key release that proved the value of a licence to a game (surprising, perhaps, as I’ve just written about the two previous Star Wars games and even liked one of them.) Licences had existed since Sega licensed… the Fonz(!?) for an arcade racer, though they’d have existed earlier if Atari had managed to get the Jaws licence (in an amusing example of Nolan Bushnell’s underhandedness, after not getting it, Atari released a game called “Shark Jaws” with “Shark” in tiny letters, and he made sure to release it under a unique subsidiary to not get Atari sued into oblivion.) 

Despite that history, licensed games were few and far between–as likely due to high fees as both licensees and licensors not really having an idea what to do with X or Y concept as a video game. Which is a bit sad, really, when we think of all the late 70s IP we could have experienced in the form of extremely crappy video games. Kojak for the Atari 2600, or something. Though I suppose we did get several The Electric Company games for Intellivision?

There’s a strange sort of luck to Star Wars, too, as it would be released mere months after E.T. The Extra Terrestrial was released for Atari 2600, a game that did so badly despite being licensed from (at that point) literally the highest grossing movie of all time that you’d assume no one would ever try to do something like that again. However, Star Wars had been in development since 1981 and would be released right before Return of the Jedi, hitting the zeitgeist bang on.

(There’s an even stranger bit of trivia here too. Atari CEO Ray Kassar is quoted saying of E.T. “I think it's a dumb idea. We've never really made an action game out of a movie” when a Star Wars action game would have been in development for about a year by that point. Executives: they definitely know what their company is up to!)

Ultimately, Star Wars was the right game in the right place at the right time, and in many ways, the industry has been chasing that high ever since.

Can I say something though?

It’s…

It’s not really that great, is it? It is the prototypical video game thrill ride in its best and its worst aspects. The big, flashy cabinet (designed by Mike Jang, detailed by The Arcade Blogger) masked a game that is both limited and extremely repetitive.

I’m sure like many kids who experienced it for the first time in the arcades (but only briefly), I made sure it was one of the first games I got for my home computer (via the same mail order club I got The Eidolon from, actually) and when you’re faced with just the steak without any sizzle–and the Amstrad CPC port is surprisingly faithful–you are done with the game in about five minutes. Even if you’re literally five yourself.

Because Star Wars really lacks any strong “hook” to the play that you can hang onto. Composed of three segments–the open space shooting gallery, the surface tower battle, and the trench run–each simply plays out for a set length of time that you can’t affect, and each features a very limited amount of patterns. There are no quirks or tricks or surprises in the play; you get a small amount of movement beyond the cursor so can shoot or dodge enemy fire and that's it. After you’ve run through the stages a couple of times you know everything you need to do, you get it completely, and the only thing that keeps you going (or kept me going) is getting to do the trench run, the most fun, interactive and thematic part. But you keep asking: is there anything else?

Though the game does change a bit–the surface tower battle most memorably isn’t in your first loop and uses bunkers in the second loop before switching to towers–there really isn’t. I suspect that high level play of this is largely memorisation, and I suppose you might be able to get into a Pac-Man like hypnotic flow; considering high-score records in this game have ranged from seven hours to five days some people must enjoy it. Though I think the analogue rather than digital nature of the interface makes it a less predictable and therefore less satisfying game to "solve" and for me, returning to it via emulation showed me that really, there’s nothing there. It needs the sizzle to be something—in fact, it shows just how incredible the sizzle was.

That isn’t the end of the world; Star Wars is temporarily fun, iconic and unarguably influential. But if I want to actually enjoy it… I guess I gotta go buy that flight yoke after all!

Will I ever play it again? So… of course I will! I’ll always play the cockpit machine any time I see it. Just the once each time though, for old time’s sake.

Final Thought: As well as a lot of great history on the development of Star Wars, The Arcade Blogger has also dug up some extremely fun videos that reflect just how badly Atari needed Star Wars to be a success, including a bizarre segment on a New York-area Saturday Morning show where they have to plug the machine in after they wheel it out and then the designer, Mike Hally, hasn’t been informed he’s supposed to leave the shot at the end of the segment!

Every Game I’ve Finished 14>24 is OUT NOW! You can pick it up in paperback, kindle, or epub/pdf. You can also support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up digital copies of exp., a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[jordanandegypt]

Hello Jordan.

September 13, 2024

(Warning - this is a little map-heavy! Y'all know how I LOVE maps!!)

Greetings from Amman, Jordan!!  Salam! We have connected with our friends and met our delightful guide, Nader.  Let the trip begin!!!!

We escaped Zürich without eating cheese fondu, buying chocolate or a Swiss watch.  Yes, we have NO proof that we were ever there. Well. we did buy some grandkid stuff and we had a lovely visit, albeit much too short.   And before we leave that topic, I have a correction.  As we walked about this lovely town of Zurich we encountered some super busy multi lane roads and there, my friends, we found the walk/don’t walk signs.  So they do indeed have them despite my reporting that they did not. But they appear to be few and far between.

On Thursday, Sept 12, we flew from Zürich Switzerland to Athen, Greece. 

This morning we flew from Athens to here.  WHY? - you ask.  Money my friends - Money.  Getting to Amman from a lot of places is not easy and not cheap.  I was looking for non-stop flights that were reasonable priced and had the timing I could work with and after much research - (OMG - you cannot believe how much time to put into this silly endeavor) I landed on taking two days and doing these short flights with an overnight in Athens.  Now - the flights were on small planes - and one option I had was to pay an additional $7.00 as insurance against the airlines going bankrupt.🥴. I took that option FYI!

But it all worked out perfectly.  We left Zürich in the AM and arrived in Athens in the early afternoon. The little place we stayed picked us up then arranged for us to be picked up for dinner on the beach.  SWEET!!!!

And MAYBE the Greek Salad and grilled fish was delicious because we were in Greece or because we could hear the Mediterranean lapping right there  - but whatever the reason, dinner was delicious. (Our younger son, Logan, BTW - pointed out that all salads in Greece would be technically Greek salads - but this is not going to bring me down!)

Today we got to Athen’s airport WAY TOO early but so what.  We had a coffee and before we knew it we boarded our flight on Royal Jordanian.  Now - let me say - WOW!!  The cleanest roomiest seats ever and we were traveling coach.  With the exception of one little issue - my gluten free meal was absent - but they scrounged around and I did not go hungry.  “Come ON!” To quote my youngest granddaughter.   I will say not exactly gourmet - but you be the judge.

But would I fly Royal Jordanian again?  Why, yes I would.  A crappy lunch on this lovely airplane with attentive flight attendants was just a little blip.

Another reason I wanted to go through Greece was to adjust myself to being completely unable to read signs.  While in Greece there were somethings I could make a guess on and somethings I could not  - like the sign below.

But once we got to Amman I figured I wouldn’t have a clue about anything - and it appears I am correct.

So, somehow I thought easing myself into that would be a good idea.  BUT clearly the answer is NOPE!  So really the reason for Athen was money...

Anyway - Jordan:

Michigan is about 2.5 times bigger than Jordan but Jordan has more than 11 million+ people, about  1 million more than live in Michigan.  And of that 11 million people 5 million live in Amman - the capital of Jordan.  A peek out of our hotel window lets you know this is a HUGE city!

A quick review on the location of Jordan.

Jordan is bordered by Syria to the north, Iraq to the east, Saudi Arabia to the south, and Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories to the west.   For those of you who were flipping out about us coming here (MOM!), we are indeed close to the Israel/Hamas conflict.  Amman and Jerusalem are just a little more than 60 miles apart.  

But we are visiting this beautiful city and then going north to Jerash.  After Jerash we will be heading south to Petra and we will certainly be close to Israel - but no worries.  You wouldn’t want us to come this far and not get to see Mujib Valley , the Grand Canyon of Jordan.  Hopefully, we will get a look at the Dead Sea as well.

When we arrived we had to buy a Visa and it was exactly as we had been told - EASY- PEASY!!  We stood in a short line - forked over our passports and 40 Jordanian dinars (that I got before we left Saline) and we got a single entry Visa and a welcome to “The Hashemitec Kingdom of Jordan.”  “Enjoy your time here!”

I’m so excited to learn about Jordan, the people, the geography, the history, their politics and more.  Already I learned that 85% of the land is desert and that water is scarce and they have NO OIL.  I admit I was surprised!  I discovered that it is a Sunni Muslim majority religion country (95% according to Wiki)  and I expect to learn more about this.

So the learning begins in earnest tomorrow and I’m going to bed.  We are now in Arabic Standard Time and we are 7 hours ahead of Michigan.  This adjustment is - like the VISA procurement - EASY-PEASY!

Tesbah ala khir. (Good Night in Arabic - and this is NOT easy-peasy). Also just for a little smile - my autocorrect changed that Arabic phrase to "Teabag la Kir" - which I'm pretty sure means nothing.

Salam

[aching-joints]

If one of your characters had to write an AITA post on Reddit, what would the title be?

I point to oc yap card at u ! Tell me about Jude and Alana more

I love u, ur so sweet for this!

It's funny u choose them!!!

Alana and Jude are my little lab rats who lived in isolation for like 50 years in an abandoned lab, (are they human? alien? something else? we'll find out eventually 8 -).)

Because of where they were brought up as children and later adults - a place with strict rules, a solitary room they both shared with a few books, a couch and a painting on the wall that Alana hyper fixated on for 50 odd years after the "experiment" was shut down and they were forgotten about - they have no real concept of what "AITA" would even constitute. They don't even really know how to act "human".

There's a lot to it, but the tl;dr is that Leticia went to steal something and ended up with them instead. She had to call like 4 other people to show up, because they unsettled her and she didn't want to be alone with them when taking them back "home".

Leticia actually wanted to take them back to where she picked them up from (yea, she's heartless and I'm full of angst) because they scared her and creeped her out (Alana and Jude would just sometimes stare at her for hours, it wasn't malicious though - no social cues and they did just spend 50 years in a small room with not much to do - Leticia was new).

So, the point being - there could be a lot of AITA posts (mostly Alana though, she's honestly fucking nuts, I love her though), but they possibly wouldn't even know they were the assholes and wouldn't think about it that way, unless someone told them that they were and explained why.

For them leaving that room they were abandoned in was basically exploring something new - they're not entirely human, they don't need sustenance (or so we thought) but they're discovering things like human foods, mobile phones, internet, TV, social gatherings, etc., etc.,

More to the AITA questions though

I think with Alana it might be easier because she's more eager to push boundaries she's not even aware of, ever since Leticia got her and Jude phones with internet connection, Alana has been OBSESSED. Every crappy AI food recipe? She'll fall for it. Spend six hours doom scrolling TikTok? No problem. Reddit for five hours? No problem. She's crazy about it.

It might be something to the lines of:

"AITA because I "WASTED" food trying a TikTok recipe for crunchy chicken (i've never had!!!) and accidentally giving everyone food poisoning because the chicken was raw?"

It's ridiculous on the surface, but obviously, she lacks a lot of common sense and it's been a learning process. Admittedly - Alana has a very scientific approach to things, because that's how she was raised, so her approach to actually dissecting feelings/cultural norms etc., is very skewed as well. When the topic of sex was eventually brought up, her solution was to hook up with everyone that messaged her on every dating site - she's not a fan and a bit dumb.

As for Jude.

I don't think he'd ever write an actual AITA post, because he's more level-headed than Alana, calmer, his brain isn't a continuous storm of thoughts, desires and wants like Alana's.

I think in Jude's case, he'd be more likely to directly confront the person and ask about what he did wrong and reflect on that, as much as he could, before he'd probably piss them off by asking 100 questions about why, how and again why? He's still learning too, even if he's less annoying than Alana is.

This got really long, I'm sry. 👉👈

[spurgie-cousin]

picking apart people's looks seems to be all most fundie subreddits do anymore. it's pretty... idk, disheartening.

Yea, I think a lot of people are attracted to "snark" communities bc it gives them an excuse to be more judgemental and crappy than they're allowed to be in every day life. And I'm not trying to sound high and mighty like I don't do some shit talking too lol but it's not the primary reason I follow so those people, for me it has more to do with the like, sociological aspect bc I just find religion and religious culture fascinating. Particularly evangelicals just since I was one and am still surrounded by them.

I've noticed people get kind of obsessed with the Bates in particular, probably because they're all just so online and it just fosters parasocial relationships. Some people in that Bates subreddit sound more like fans than snarkers, they just get so into who looks like who and the babies looks etc etc and that's honestly weird as hell of them too. I don't think their looks should be as big of a topic as they are in those communities.

[impromptu-sketches]

Hello...this is my first ask to you, sorry if it's kinda rambling. Thanks so much for your BL recs & reviews. You really helped me found out what to read and where to read them...💐🤩

I just saw some anon ask BL recs based on a certain ship. Do you mind if I ask BL recs based on my fav ships, too?

My fav ships are :

* Ash/Eiji (them, but please not end up in tragedy).

* Gon/ Killua (aged up, of course, but with their personality).

* Atsushi/ Akutagawa or Dazai/Chuuya (I can't pick which I like better between them, you can choose instead).

* Mikaela/ Yuuichirou (the ship that made me read danmei and then BL manga/manhwa, sorry if it's weird order to know BL).

Sorry if I ask too much, it's okay if you want to pick just one ship, I'm already happy.

Thanks again @impromptu-sketches ....🌼

Thank you for the ask 🌼

I'm sorry, but I'm only familiar with Ash/Eiji so I don't think any recommendations would be accurate for the others unless I had more info about them.

For Ash & Eiji... I don't think any other couple could compare. But here are some recs I think you'd enjoy:

Night Fragments | sunshine x sad boy, fantasy

Path to You | just a wholesome happy read

Frenemies: Thicker Than Blood | action, friends/rivals to lovers, historical fantasy, badass x badass

Killer Crush | killer x actor, comedy

Dark Heaven | childhood friends to lovers, ride or die relationship, very heavy topics but happy ending

Aitte Yatsu wo Oshiete Kure yo | chance encounter/strangers to lovers

December Rain (warning: also tragic but I have to recommend this one) | two boys just trying their best

Into the Depths / Nanohana Boys (not a BL but felt like a BL) | disabilities, psychological, slice of life, friends

I'll actually add another list for Gon & Killua. I haven't seen the anime, but my understanding of their dynamic is silly x silly? Here are some recs you might like:

Lost in the Cloud

19 Days

Boys Dormitory 303

Wolf in the House

4 Week Lovers

Punch Drunk Love

Killer Crush

Pearl Boy

My Influencer Boyfriend

Happy Crappy Life

Dekoboko Sugar Days

Window to Window

You Get Me Going

Don't Get Me Wrong, Boss!

Karasugaoka Don't be Shy!!

Liquor & Cigarette

Love So Pure

Who Can Define Popularity?

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

Definitely didn't send an ask yet for those 15 questions... So I choose Gareth! 😏

Totally only the one ask in my inbox! 😂 thanks bestieeee 💕 here ya go…

1. Are you named after anyone?

I think my parents might’ve got Gareth from a book called Give Your Kid A Welsh Name Americans Will Actually Be Able To Pronounce… honestly I have no idea where that came from. Middle name Alwyn is after my granddad.

2. When’s the last time you cried?

Do we really have to go there? Wouldn’t you rather know about my favorite pizza toppings? (Pepperoni and pineapple.)

Alright Janie says I should be honest, so the last time I cried was three days ago, I dreamed that she was back in Hawkins Lab and they maybe-accidentally-maybe-deliberately drowned her in that stupid fucking tank of theirs, and I woke up bawling like a stupid baby. There. Happy? Can we go back to talking about pizza now?

3. Any kids?

Nope. Maybe someday, waayyyy in the future, but not now.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah, it’s actually a pretty bad habit of mine. My big mouth has gotten me in trouble more than once.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

What they’re wearing. I don’t judge them for it, I just notice it. Especially if it looks like a band shirt.

6. What’s your eye color?

Janie likes to call it “cornflower” (because she’s just goddamn adorable) but it’s just ordinary blue.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I kinda like both. I don’t mind being scared by movies because I know the bad guys don’t usually win.

8. Any special talents?

Just music I guess. I play drums and piano. Eddie’s trying to teach me guitar but it’s pretty slow going.

9. Where were you born?

Bala Cynwyd, PA. My family moved to Hawkins when I was three.

10. What are your hobbies?

Playing music, dungeons and dragons, writing crappy songs and poems, drawing, and helping Janie look for cool rocks to add to her collection.

11. Do you have any pets?

No, I want a cat but my dad’s allergic.

12. Any sports you play?

Um… between fifth grade and tenth grade I played this super awesome sport called Run The Hell Away From Bullies. Sooo much fun.

13. How tall are you?

NOT TALL ENOUGH, OKAY???

14. What’s your favorite subject?

In high school it was English. It’s harder to pick now that I’m in college— I’m studying to be a music therapist and just about every class on that topic is fascinating.

15. What’s your dream job?

Honestly I’m pretty excited about the music therapy, but if I had to pick something different I’d say author. It would be pretty cool to write something as awesome as Lord of the Rings!

Losty answers as your choice of character

[anneapocalypse]

1624 MTD: 5152

Today was good. After some bad days last week, I'm more or less back on track. I know not every day can be good but man, it's just so nice to have a good writing day when there have been so many crappy ones lately, and having a good writing day just makes everything else better.

These two companion fics have been difficult to hammer into a structure, and my outlines are still incomplete, but nevertheless it feels like they're starting to take shape at last. I have more faith that as I write the scenes I know are happening, they will lead me to the ones I haven't yet figured out. Today I worked on the Urianger fic, and it was fun, or as much fun as a story about grief and isolation can be. (Which, well. It's a topic I return to over and over with my faves.) His voice gets more comfortable and more fun to write the more I work with it. (And then I walk away and start saying "thou" to my husband, which just goes to show that a person picking up the language they immerse themselves in really isn't so farfetched. :P )