#//it hurt lemme tell u

[janinemel]

Never The One

author’s note: no hate to janine x egon, i absolutely adore the ship, this is just a fic🦔 this is referring to one of the old drafts for Ghostbusters where janine and egon get married in a chapel in Las Vegas

Pairings: Janine Melnitz x Egon Spengler (ROMANTIC), Egon Spengler x reader (one sided), Janine Melnitz x reader (PLATONIC)

Warning(s): Angst, unrequited love

Not proofread

Janine and Egon were very good friends of yours. You loved them so much, Janine was like a sister and Egon was someone you’ve grown to love. You met Janine in high school and graduated with her. You met Egon when you went to college to become a nurse, you remained in contact with him after getting your degree and went on to nursing school.

You and Egon shared many memories together, he introduced you to his friends, Peter and Ray. You all became friends and grew close as a group. Eventually, you’ve grown feelings for Egon but you never told him or hinted at it. With how busy your life has become, you never had time to do anything anymore and was kept busy at the hospital you worked at.

Time to time, you would meet up with Janine for breakfast or lunch and catch up. It was like nothing ever happened and you two remained close after all these years. She was like a sister to you, you loved her so much and wanted the best for her.

When Egon told you about this business he was trying to make with Peter and Ray, you were happy for him. You offered all of your support and even lended money despite his protests. You wanted him to succeed and that’s what they all did. They opened a ghostbusting business and called themselves the Ghostbusters.

When Janine expressed she was looking for a new job after leaving a workplace that wasn’t good, you offered to talk to one of your friends about a new business they opened up and ask if they are hiring. She thanked you and gave you a huge hug, saying lunch was on her.

After talking with the guys, they accepted and hired her. Janine was so excited when you told her the news and practically threw the both of you onto the floor when she ran to hug you. She was always such an affectionate person towards you, despite her reputation for being a serious person and hard to budge.

Time goes on, your feelings for Egon became noticeable and Peter even talked to you about it. You told him you didn’t want to make things awkward and decided not to go through with confessing your feelings to Egon. But, on your days off, you would come get Egon and take him out to lunch. You two talked, just like old times and that’s how you liked it.

Egon was an easy person to talk to, he offered solid advice and was always there when you needed something. You remembered how he stayed up with you when you showed up to his dorm room, in tears after finding out your boyfriend cheated. He consoled you as you weeped and he never left your side.

Everything changed when Janine told you about Egon and how she liked him. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell her that you also had feelings for him and just listened to her talk about him. She looked so happy talking about him and you knew you had to do something. You swallowed your pride and offered to talk to Egon for her. Janine asked if that was okay, you gave the okay and she gave you a hug while thanking you.

You felt yourself break when she hugged you, this was really happening and it was your fault. But, Janine’s happiness was more important and you wanted the best for her. If only you weren’t so selfless and knew how to stand up for yourself, you would be happy too.

After that, you spoke to Egon and he accepted the arrangement for a date with Janine. That was it, you lost Egon and Janine gets to be the world’s happiest woman alive. But, how could you be angry when the people you absolutely loved and adored are together? That should be enough for you. Is it?

The night of their date, Peter found you standing outside and he just stood beside you. You told him that you should have listened to him and Peter didn’t know what you meant until he remembered that day. He apologized and when you looked at him, you bursted into tears. For once, he had nothing to say and he held you as you cried.

Snapping of your thoughts, you realized that you were sitting on one of the benches inside of this tacky wedding parlour. Janine and Egon stood in front of the room, Janine dressed in a simple white dress and Egon dressed in one of his usual suits. Louis was here as another witness, he was practically jumping out of his seat because he was happy for them. You were happy too.

This wedding was rushed and unplanned, Janine randomly suggested to get married and Egon agreed. You happened to be in Las Vegas for a vacation and Janine called you to tell you the news. You immediately got dressed and arrived at this tacky parlour they chose.

Egon looked preoccupied and Janine looked so happy. The wedding officiant said they may kiss and Janine kissed him while Egon was caught off guard. Louis threw rice, you looked at them fondly while clapping. You smiled, you felt your chest hurt and you wanted to cry. You may love Egon but he belonged to Janine, you were never the one. Janine was your sister and best friend, you could never take that happiness from her. You had to be happy, for them.

[introspectivememories]

can i be honest? i dont think tim and bear have a really grand proposal. i think it happens at their apartment that they got bc bear finally put his foot down and went "baby you're immunocompromised. you cannot live on a murderboat on the gotham river" and tim reluctantly gives in but not without finding some random apartment complex that's still near the marina so he can go down and get his ass beat at poker by pie. and so it happens late at night, when tim is in nightwing sleep shorts and bear's old band tee on and bear is in some horrendous anime sweats and no shirt because their home is the only place he's ever felt comfortable leaving his scars out. and the lamplight gives a soft hazy glow to bear's tattoos and tim reaches under the shirt to scratch and in the movement bear can see the bear tim got tattooed onto his hip and he can't help grin softly. and they're both sitting on the couch as some lame ass procedural drama goes on in the background and they're eating batburger. tim's got the nightwing special and bear has the sword robin combo. and the ringbox is burning a hole through bear's thigh and tim makes some stupid comment about how lame meredith sounds begging some guy to love her and all bear can think is how much he loves this boy. so he gets up to get some water and he positions his phone so that he can get the best video bc tim is a sucker for home video and he plops down on the sofa hard enough that tim turns around to complain except bear is holding the ringbox open with a soft "marry me?" and tim goes "what?" and bear says "baby i have loved you since you walked through the gates of our high school and i loved you when you left and i loved you when you came back. i love the way you talk to yourself and i love the way dance when i put music on. and i even love the fact that you shove your ice cold feet in my shins every night. and i don't know exactly what to say except that i want to do this everyday until you get dentures and i get a hip replacement. and i want to be horny in the old age home and-" and tim cuts him off sob-laughing and says "can i say yes now?" and bear who is also crying says "wait, let me finish love. -and i want to do this in as many lives as we get together. so all this to says, timothy jackson drake, will you marry me?" and tim launches himself bear and shouts "yes, yes, yes! a thousand times over, yes" and they're sobbing as they slip the rings on each other.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 167

warnings: a little long and nsfw hmh masterlist

Today has been frustrating to say the least. John has been talking a lot more about Helen lately, and usually it doesn’t bother you but lately it has been. Her birthday is coming up soon, so you’re sure it’s just that which is causing him to talk about her so much. You don’t mind hearing stories about her since, at the end of the day, John is married to you and the two of you have a child together, but there’s only so many Helen stories you can hear before you start to feel a little jealous in a way.

John had told you about three different stories in the past two days, and you tried to gently tell him that you’re a little sick of the stories, but Ronan threw up everywhere and ruined the moment. Babies, right? You ended up getting so frustrated with John’s stories that you’ve been pretty much ignoring him all day. If you do talk to him, you’re usually pretty short with him, and he’s obviously picked up on it that something is wrong with you since he’s keeping his distance.

Or maybe he just doesn’t care.

Ronan is at your parents’ house for the night, so you’re hoping that you can get a little dressed up and try to take John’s mind off of Helen and put his focus back onto you. You dropped Ronan off, then you went to the mall and grabbed a few new pieces of lingerie in hopes that John will finally give you a little more attention.

Again you’re aware that John is married to you and that Helen isn’t…coming back to steal him, but it sucks that his mind has been so preoccupied with Helen lately. Your marriage is starting to suffer a little bit, and now you’re even getting into little spats over nothing. You literally yelled at him over something that usually wouldn’t annoy you at all.

Inhaling deeply, you get out of the car and head inside to hear John talking on the phone. You left your bag in the car since you knew John would be around the house, so you just walk into the kitchen and see him at the kitchen table.

John looks over his shoulder at you and waves, then he turns back around, “Yeah, man, sounds good. Alright, bye.”

You set your purse on the table and look at John as he gets up, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Aurelio asked if I wanted to go play some pool tonight, so I said yes.” he says as he opens the fridge to get something to eat.

“Oh,” you slouch a little, “Okay.”

John looks at you and raises his eyebrows, “Is that okay, or…”

“You don’t need my permission.” you say as you look at him, then you shrug, “Have fun then.”

“Well, what are you going to do tonight?”

You inhale as you shrug, “Uh, I don’t know. There’s a lot that I can do. I need to go through Ro’s closet and pack away her clothes that don’t fit. I need to do some laundry. I mean, I’d hang out with Tess, but they’re up at the lake house with Jimmy’s family for the week.”

John nods, “Yeah, I thought about that.”

“I’ll find something. There’s plenty I can do around the house. I do have a new book that I’ve wanted to read, so…” you say, putting a fake smile on your face.

Nodding his head, John looks down at his bottle of water, “Uh, do you think you’ll manage the dogs tonight? I might not be back in time to take them for a walk. Sadie can be a handful.”

“Yeah, of course. I was thinking about taking them to the Oyster Bay dog park.” you say as you shrug, and John nods his head. “I don’t have anything else planned, so…”

“I better go shower. Aurelio is going to pick me up. He’s got a new car he wants to show me.” John says, and you nod as you look up him.

John leans down and kisses your cheek before he leaves, and you slouch a little since you’re going to be spending the night alone. There are several things that you need to get done around the house, but they won’t take more than an hour. Maybe you can surprise John when he gets home though.

“Well, I might as well get started on laundry.” you say to yourself, then you head upstairs to your bedroom as John shuffles though his drawers. You take the laundry basket and set it aside before you head into the bathroom to grab any dirty towels and clothes, then you come back out to find John looking at you.

“So, are you just going to continue to pretend you’re not mad at me?” John asks, and you look at him. He gestures to you and shakes his head, “I know you’re mad at me.”

You wave it off, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something. You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder all day.” he says, and you shrug as you walk over to the laundry basket. “Tell me now before I leave.”

You furrow your brow as you look at him, “You--”

“Not leave,” he says, shaking his head, “But I mean before I leave in a bit.”

“Nah, it’s all good.” you say, and John huffs as you look at him, “God, fine. I just thought we’d hang out tonight. Since you know, it’s been a few nights since we’ve been alone, but I get it. You have friends too.”

John shrugs, “I haven’t hung out with Aurelio in a while. Thought it’d be fun.”

“Hey,” you reach out for his hand and smile, “It’s all good.”

Obviously it hurts your feelings that John doesn’t realize that you’re hurt that he’s been talking about Helen so much and not really spending time with you, but you’ll let it go for now. You’d hate to upset him before he goes out for some fun. You had an ex who did that to you all the time and it’s not fair--you refuse to do the same to John.

Squeezing his arm a little, you smile at him, then you grab the laundry basket and head down to do the laundry, but John calls out for you.

“I know you’re mad at me.” he says, and you shrug. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Of course.” you nod, then you head downstairs.

__

Bleu and Sadie had so much fun at the dog park and they tired themselves out, so you dropped them off at home before you decided to take a long drive. You got yourself a greasy cheeseburger, some fries and a chocolate shake, then you drove around aimlessly for about two hours just listening to music. You have to admit that it was nice to have an evening to just yourself. You needed it more than you even realized, and you’re feeling a little bit better than you did earlier. That is until you look down at your phone to see that you don’t have any texts from John.

John’s been gone for about five hours now, and usually he’ll just text you a simple little message, even just a heart emoji to let you know that he’s thinking about you. Today you’ve gotten nothing. Either he’s ignoring you now or he’s having a lot of fun.

You pull into the driveway and open the garage to put your car in, then you sigh as you get out of the car. You’re greeted by Bleu and Sadie as you walk inside, and you lean down to pet them before you let them into the backyard for a bit.

Whenever your mom has Ronan, you always call her before she goes down for the night, so you sit down on the couch and pull your phone out, pressing it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you sigh softly, “How is Ro?”

Your mom laughs, “She’s good, like she always is. She’s laying in Dan’s arms right now getting her bottle before she goes down. She’s been an angel today! We went for a nice walk this afternoon and played with some bubbles, then she had some steamed chicken for lunch.”

“Oh, she’s a big fan of chicken.”

“She gets it from her mom,” your mom says, and you smile a little. “Ro, say goodnight to your momma and daddy.”

The smile fades from your face when you realize your mom thinks John is with you. You hear Ronan babbling on the other end of the phone, and you smile to yourself.

“Goodnight, baby!” you say to her even though she probably can’t hear you, then you sigh as you sit back on the couch.

“No goodnight from dad?”

You inhale deeply and sigh, “Uh, no, he’s out with Aurelio tonight. They went to play pool or something.”

“I bet that’s been nice to just have a day to yourself.”

“Yeah, it’s been alright.” you shrug, then you get up and head to your bedroom. “I’m probably gonna crash early since Ro is with you and John is out.”

Your mom laughs, “Nothing wrong with that, honey. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Give Ro a kiss for me and her dad. Love you.” you say, then you sit down on the bed and look down at your phone as you hang up with your mom. You look over at the drawer where you have the lingerie tucked in, then you get up and grab it before you head to the bathroom.

__

Fixing the lace on the garter belt, you look at yourself in the mirror and smile, then you poke your head out to the bedroom when you hear the front door open. You quickly fluff your hair up and fix your makeup a little, then you peek around the corner as John walks in and sits down on the bed.

“Hey,” you say, and he barely glances over his shoulder, “How was your night?”

“Pretty good. We played a couple rounds of pool, a few of darts, and I unfortunately had too many drinks since I feel a little tipsy.” he says, keeping his back to you as he pulls his shirt off and kicks his shoes off. “It was a good thing I didn’t drive.”

You lean against the wall seductively since you’re expecting John to turn around and see you, but he just lays back to pull his pants off. He groans as he sits back up and tosses his pants carelessly onto the floor, and you slouch a little.

Walking over to the bed, you crawl onto it and kiss John’s back up to his neck in hopes that it’ll get him in the mood. He looks over his shoulder at you and smiles softly as you move to kiss his neck, then he leans back a little to look at what you’re wearing. You move closer to him as you kiss his face and move your hand to his crotch, but he pulls your hand off of him.

“We need to talk.”

“We don’t need to talk it out right now,” you whisper as you move closer to him, “We can just…work our way through it first.”

John gently takes your hands and pulls them off his chest, “Not tonight, baby.”

You hold his gaze for a moment as you grow sad and embarrassed, tears filling your eyes, then you pull on your robe that you left on the bed. You kick off your heels and pull your robe shut as your chin wobbles, and you grab your pajamas from your drawer before you grab your pillow and phone.

“I’m sleeping downstairs.”

John sighs, “You don’t have to sleep downstairs. It’s fine, peach.”

“No,” you look down to avoid his gaze since you’re so damn embarrassed, “I want to sleep alone tonight.”

Holding tight to your pillow, you head down to the guest bedroom, then you close the door and lock it since you know John will probably try to come talk it out at some point, and you’re so embarrassed that you don’t even want to see him right now.

You pull off the lingerie like it’s infected and leave it on the en suite bathroom floor, then you pull on your pajama shorts and shirt before you crawl into the bed and pull the blankets over your head as you cry.

__

It’s Thursday, which means John works the morning until about noon, then the two of you would usually go and get Ronan. You’re planning on getting her and dropping her off with John for the rest of the day. You’ve successfully avoided John before he left for work--not that it was really that hard. You just don’t want to even see him right now, and apparently he’s fine with it since he hasn’t tried to talk to you.

Looking into your mirror, you see that your eyes are a little swollen and bloodshot from crying so much last night, but you put on a brave face and head in to get Ronan. You open the door and smile when you hear Ronan squealing and babbling, and you wave at her as you walk into the living room.

“Hi, bug!” you smile, leaning down to get her, and as soon as she’s in your arms, you begin to cry softly. You sniffle as you lean back to look at her, and you smile when she tugs your hair, “I missed you!”

“She’s been so good,” your mom says, then she looks over to the door in confusion, “Jonathan isn’t with you?”

You hold her gaze as you shake your head and start to cry, and she immediately reaches out and pulls you to the couch. She holds you in her arms as you cry, calming you down and telling you that everything is okay, and you cling to Ronan a little tighter.

“I don’t know what’s going on. I know this is just normal marriage stuff, but I never thought John and I would be affected by it.” you whisper as you sit up, “We just haven’t been ourselves lately.”

Your mom nods, “Maybe you two need some time alone to talk things through.”

“I really need Tess right now,” you say, and your mom nods. “It’s just…a little awkward talking about sex with you, mom.”

Your mom laughs softly, “Okay, I’m sure.”

“Is it okay if I just leave Ronan with you for the rest of the day? I can get her tonight before dinner.”

“Of course!” your mom smiles as she rubs your back, “If John shows up…”

You nod, “He can take her. I’m sure he’ll be confused to not see her when he gets home or whatever. I don’t really know what he’s thinking lately.”

“That’s new.”

“It is!” you laugh as you set Ronan back down on the floor so she can play with her toys, “In all honesty, I just don’t really want to see him right now. Not while my emotions are so intense. I just…”

Your mom wraps her arm around you and rubs your back as you cry, “It’s okay.”

You sigh as you look over at her, “He’s been talking about Helen a lot more lately. It just hurts my feelings. Usually I don’t care, but him talking about her all the time and then not really giving the usual amount of affection is just weird. I just feel like there’s a disconnect and I’m not sure if it was intentional.”

“I can promise that it’s no intentional, honey.” she smiles as you look at her, and you inhale deeply when you realize John has talked to her. “I promise you. Just go home and talk to him.”

Nodding your head, you look down at your wedding ring as you sniffle, then you inhale deeply and exhale as you get up to hug and kiss Ronan, “I love you, bug. I’ll be back to get you later.”

You wave at your mom as you walk over to grab your purse, and she gives you two thumbs up as you laugh.

__

Sitting at the table as you flip through a magazine, you hear the door open and the dogs both get up to greet John. You clear your throat a little as you sit at the table and wait for John to find you, but there’s a part of you that feels like maybe he doesn’t care that you’re even home.

“Hey,” John walks in the kitchen and furrows his brow a little, “Where’s the bug?”

“Uh, at my mom’s still. I’m gonna get her later.”

John looks at you for a moment, then he nods his head and looks down, “Uh, I have a book I need to get done by tomorrow, so I just really need to focus on that. It’s just that there’s a deadline and I haven’t been focused so much on it lately, so…”

“Okay.” you bite your cheek as you look at him, then you slouch when he leaves the room.

You’ll just have to talk to him later.

__

Since John was still downstairs working on his book, you decided to just sleep in the guest bedroom again. You haven’t talked to him at all, and you even called to ask if Ronan could stay the night again. Your mom took it as a good sign, though it really wasn’t.

You sit up in bed as your stomach growls and look over to see it’s nearly 2 in the morning. You stretch a little, then you get up and quietly open the door to find John laying back against the wall as he sleeps. You smile to yourself as you look at him, then you kneel down and gently brush your thumb over his cheek.

“John,” you whisper to him, then you smile when he opens his eyes, “Go up to bed. Go to bed. You can’t be comfortable here.”

“You locked the door.” he says softly as you nod, then he sits up a little, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You look down as you tear up, “I know. Me neither.”

John reaches over to touch your cheek, “That doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it?”

“Well, what did you mean?”

“I miss my wife.” he whispers, then he rubs his thumb over your cheek and down to your bottom lip, “I miss my best friend.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you sit down on the floor, then you look at him and nod, “I miss mine too.”

“I promise that we can talk through everything in the morning, but for now, can I just hold my wife?” John asks, and you nod your head. He gets up and reaches for your hands, then he helps you stand up.

Holding hands with John, you head up to your bedroom with him and smile to yourself, feeling your hand in his for the first time in what seems like weeks. You crawl into bed and lay down on your side only to realize you left your pillow down in the guest bedroom. John lays down on the bed and moves his pillow over to share with you, then he smiles when you get under the blankets with him.

John gently rubs his thumb over your cheek as you look at him, “I love you.”

“Do you?” you ask as you tear up again.

“I do.” he nods, then he pulls you closer until you’re inches from his face, “I will never stop loving you. It’s a promise.”

You nod your head as you look at him, “We’ll talk in the morning?”

“Of course.” he whispers, then he leans forward to kiss you. He pulls you closer as he lays on his back, then he holds you in his arms, “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too.”

__

You feel John pressing kisses to your face and neck as you lay in bed, and you slowly open your eyes and smile when you see him next to you. You inhale deeply and roll onto your side, and you’re a little taken aback when he leans over and kisses you. He slips his tongue into your mouth as he crawls on top of you, and you laugh when he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he smiles, then he sits up to look at you, “Missed that laugh.”

“We still need to talk, so don’t start getting all lovey-dovey. I’m not sure you’re going to love me after this conversation.” you say as you tuck his hair away from his face.

John gives you a blank stare, then he shakes his head, “You could tell me that you hate my guts and wished I was dead, and I’d still love you.”

“You know I’d never say that though, and I definitely don’t hate you or wish you were dead.”

“Well, I would hope not.” he says, and you both start to laugh.

Taking a deep breath, you sit up in bed and cross your legs before you look down at your hands and spin your wedding ring. John sits up next to you and wraps his right arm around your waist, then he presses a soft kiss to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“I hurt yours the other night…” John whispers to you, and you look over at him, your cheeks growing warm and red when you remember how embarrassed you were, “You could kill me and I’d think it was justified because I hurt you.”

You bite your cheek as you look at him, then you look down and frown, “I know that Helen’s birthday is coming up, and you know that I usually don’t mind hearing stories about her, but lately it’s just been one story after another. You haven’t been giving me the same amount of affection as usual, and I just thought…maybe you weren’t all in with me anymore. Like the novelty of me wore off or something. Like…like you were just over me and you were ready to move on to the next.”

John moves your hair away from your face and nods when you look at him, giving you more time to get out everything that you need to say.

“Lately it has been painfully obvious who you wish was still here with you.” you whisper as John’s eyes grow sad. “You swapped out kissing me for telling me stories about the time you and Helen went to Fiji. You stopped holding my hand and replaced it when the story about the time you and Helen took a roadtrip. You stopped having sex with me, showing me affection, giving me even just an ounce of your love, and I noticed that I’m not the main focus anymore. I’ve completely been replaced by a ghost from your past. And…unfortunately, between you and me, if I can’t be your main focus anymore, then…”

“Stop!” John shakes his head as he looks away, then he looks back at you with tears in his eyes, “So, you want a divorce?”

“So, you’re admitting that I’m not your main focus anymore? Your dead wife is?” you get off the bed and laugh as you grab out something to wear, “It’s funny how you promised me that I was always going to be your main focus. You always reassured me that it was me who you cared about most. And yeah, if you can’t see what you have in front of you and you’re going to continue to live in the past, then yes, I want a divorce! I’m not going to feel inferior in my relationship again. I did it before and I refuse to do it again. I deserve to be put first. I deserve to be someone’s main focus.”

John gently touches your arm and shakes his head, “She’s not my main focus--you are! You’re my main focus. You and Ronan are everything to me, you know this! I know you know this!”

“Then why can’t you stop talking about Helen?”

“Because I want her to see how happy I am and I’m sad that she’s missing out on it.” he says, and you shake your head as you walk away. “Baby, I promise that you’re the only one I want. I need you. I need you more than I’ve never needed someone before. I can’t function without you!”

You look over at him and shrug, “I don’t believe you anymore.”

“What can I do to make you believe me?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe stop talking about your dead wife all the time.” you say, and John immediately nods his head. You groan as you close your eyes, “I’m hearing the way I’m talking, and I hate it. I hate that I’ve gotten to this point--being jealous over her, but I can’t keep pushing aside my feelings just to protect you. I used to push aside my feelings for other people and I refuse to do that now.”

“And I don’t want you to. I want you to tell me how you’re feeling.” John says as he walks over to you, reaching out for your hands. “I want you to be honest with me. We’ve always been honest with each other about things, we’ve always talked things through. It’s always worked for us. Why change that now? Come here. Please.”

You walk with John back over to the bed, and you sigh loudly as you sit down with him, “I’m scared that we can’t come back from this.”

“Yes, we can.” John whispers, rubbing his thumb over your cheek, “You found guns in the basement and we came back from that. We got into a huge fight about that pregnancy test, and we came back from that. We can come back from this. We can come back from anything.”

Wiping away the tears on your face, you look down as you cry harder, “I’m scared you don’t love me as much anymore, like all the love you had for me in the beginning has dried up and you don’t have any more.”

“Listen to me,” John tilts your chin up and smiles at you, “It’s because I love you so damn much that I’ve been talking about Helen. I know it doesn’t sound like it makes sense, but just hear me out.”

You laugh tearfully, “You better make it make sense, Wick.”

John takes a deep breath and exhales as he holds your hand, “I think there’s still this part of me that feels a little guilty. I’m married to this amazing, beautiful, smart, kind, everything-under-the-sun-that-is-wonderful woman, and we have a beautiful daughter together. We live this amazing life with each other, and every day is an absolute dream. So, I think there’s this part of me that feels guilty because I feel like I’m truly giving my all to you, and I didn’t do that with Helen--she didn’t even know my past. I’m so sorry that I’ve been talking about her so much, and I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel like you’re not important to me. I promise to you that you are my best friend and the only person I can see myself with. You’re the love of my life, and I’m so fucking sorry that I haven’t made you feel as important as you are. You have given me so much: a great marriage, our sweet bug, an amazing fucking life. I owe everything to you. I am so sorry for how I’ve treated you.”

You reach over to hug John as you cry, then you bury your face in the crook of his neck as he holds you. He pulls you closer until you’re almost in his lap, and he clings to you like his life depends on it.

“And the implication that you’re just some novelty or trophy wife hurts.” he whispers into your hair, “You’re everything, Y/N. Everything to me. I don’t want you to ever think that there’s a time limit on my love for you. It’s never going to go away or wear off. If anything, my love for you gets deeper every day.”

You nod, “I know.”

“I love you so much, baby.” John says, then he leans back and cups your face, “And I’m sorry for embarrassing you the other night.”

You immediately look down as your cheeks turn red, then you sit back and shrug, “It’s okay.”

“I want you to know that I thought you looked fucking amazing.” he smiles as you look at him, and you shrug again. “I just…didn’t want you to think that I was not in the mood to talk but I wanted to have sex, you know? I didn’t want you to think I was using you or anything.”

“But I was the one initiating the sex…”

John nods, “I know, but I just didn’t want you to think I was just using you to have sex and that I was going to go back to just treating you like shit.”

You shrug as you look over at him, “I just wanted to know if you still found me attractive.”

“Oh, trust me, I do!” John laughs as you start to smile, “And I definitely realized that we haven’t had time alone, and I’m suffering.”

Looking up at John, you hold his gaze as you smile softly, then you look down and exhale, “I still feel a little stupid.”

“I’m sure,” John nods, then he tilts your chin up, “But it’s nothing compared to how I feel. I’ve treated the one person who loves me endlessly like shit. I’m embarrassed and shocked--shocked that you didn’t pack a bag and leave me.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you, John. I just wanted us to get back to the way we were.”

John reaches over for your hand and kisses the back of it, “And we will. I promise that I’ll work harder than ever to prove that to you.”

“I believe you.” you whisper as you hold his gaze, then you gesture to the bathroom, “I better shower. I need to get Ro soon.”

“Can I come with? When you pick up bug?”

You nod as you get up from the bed, “Of course, John.”

John sighs as he looks up at you, then he reaches out for your hand, “I really am so sorry.”

“I know,” you nod, then you squeeze his hand, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” he whispers, then he lets go of your hand as you walk into the bathroom.

__

Ronan was so excited to see her daddy when you picked her up earlier, and she’s been clinging to him all night. You’ve been clinging to him too, well, more like he’s been clinging to you! He’s been giving you an explosion of affection but you’re not complaining about it at all. He’s definitely not doing that toxic love bomb thing though--John is always affectionate.

“Dada!” Ronan squeals loudly as John pushes her stroller, and you lean down to look at her. She reaches out to touch your face as she giggles, and you playfully chew on her fingers.

Holding tight to John’s arm, you walk with him up the driveway and smile when he leans over to kiss your head.

“I need to finish that book tonight, but I think I’ll be able to finish it quickly. Probably within 45 minutes.” John says, and you reach down to get Ronan out of her stroller, “Then I thought we could watch a movie.”

“Sounds good.”

John smiles as he folds up Ronan’s stroller and rests it against the wall when he gets inside, then he turns to you, “I do wanna come with and say goodnight to my favorite bug.”

You hold Ronan in your arms as you walk up to her room with John behind you, then you set her down while you grab out her pajamas and the lotion she needs for her skin so she doesn’t get too dry at night. She has a fan that she’s been sleeping with to keep her cool at night, but sometimes it dries out her skin.

“Why are you getting so big, huh?” John says as he sits down to change Ronan’s diaper, and you turn around and smile as he tickles her tummy. Ronan laughs as John blows raspberries on her tummy, then she puts her hands on John’s face when John lifts her up and kisses her. “Our baby is growing up so fast.”

You frown as you sit down on the floor next to him, “I know. I can’t believe how big she’s getting.”

“Time is flying,” he whispers, watching as Ronan walks over to get a toy, “I feel like I’ve been saying that since the day you got pregnant. Makes me sad how fast it’s going by.”

You nod as you look over at him, “But it really hasn’t been that long. Seems like it, but it hasn’t.”

“True,” John smiles as Ronan walks over to him with a toy, and he smiles wide and playfully grabs her and makes a loud chomping noise on her stomach as she squeals with laughter.

John is the best dad ever, and Ronan is always laughing non-stop when he’s around. He’s always playing with her on the floor and encouraging her, and you’re so happy that she has such a great dad.

“Okay, okay, let’s not get too crazy.” you laugh as you stand up, “We’re trying to get her to sleep, remember?”

John laughs as he gets up from the floor, then he reaches down for Ronan and cradles her in his arms. He bounces her a little and smiles at her as she sucks her thumb, and you walk over to get a better look at her sweet face. Ronan looks over at you and reaches out for your face and she smiles when you playfully nibble on her fingers. You watch Ronan’s eyes growing heavy with sleep, and before you know it, she’s out.

“Babies,” you laugh as John leans down so you can kiss her, “I wish I could fall asleep that fast.”

John chuckles, “Give you a few cocktails and you do fall asleep that fast.”

“Yeah, true.”

“Goodnight, bug.” John whispers as he kisses Ronan’s cheek, then he lays her down while you turn on her nightlight and fan. He reaches for your hand and walks with you out of the bedroom, then he pats Bleu’s side as he trots in to stand guard all night. “Okay, I’m gonna head downstairs to finish up the book real quick, then I promise you have my undivided attention all night.”

You wrap your arms around John’s neck and lean up to kiss him, “Okay.”

“I promise that I am going to make up for the other night.” he whispers against your lips, and you nod your head. “I’ll be back up soon.”

You kiss John once more than you watch as he quickly heads down to the basement. You know that John will most likely take 30 minutes to get everything done, but you honestly want to join him. He doesn’t mind you hanging out with him while he works but he usually gets distracted by you since he always offers to let you help. Tonight you want to distract him in a different way.

Taking a deep breath, you head into your bedroom and open your drawer to get out the lingerie that you tried to wear for John, and you stare down at it.

“You can do this.” you whisper to yourself to get yourself hyped up, then you exhale shakily as you run a marquee of bad thoughts through your head.

What if John doesn’t like it? What if he doesn’t want to have sex with you right now? What if he gets mad at you for distracting him?

“Stop,” you whisper, silencing the thoughts clouding your head, then you stand up and look at yourself in the mirror, “He loves you, he thinks you’re sexy. He’ll love this.”

You head into the bathroom to get changed into the lingerie, and you grab out your make up bag to touch of your makeup that you’re already wearing. You exhale shakily as you stand in the bathroom and continue to get yourself a pep talk in your head, then you begin to undress.

__

Standing in front of the mirror, you turn to the side a little and smile as you check yourself out, then you fix the bra straps a little more. You look really good, and if John doesn’t think so, he’s out of his mind. You grab your robe off the hook and put it on, then you decide to forget the shoes since John will immediately turn around when he hears you’re wearing heels.

“Okay, you can do this. Who knows? This could be the best sex of your life…” you whisper to yourself as you walk down to the living room. You place your hand on the door handle as you try to calm yourself down, then you open the door and head downstairs.

John still has his back to you when you get to the bottom of the stairs, and you walk up behind him and lean against his back. He glances over his shoulder at you, then he leans back a little to kiss you.

“Bored upstairs?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” you say, then you wrap your arms around his waist, “Thought I’d come join you.”

John chuckles, “Well, you might be just as bored.”

You let go of John to pull off your robe, then you toss it on the couch behind you. Your hands shake as you stand there for a moment since you don’t know what to do, then you tap John’s shoulder and watch as he looks over his shoulder. He furrows his brow a little and spins around in his chair to get a better look at you, and his mouth instantly drops open as he stares at you.

“Do I look okay?”

John lets out a laugh in disbelief, then he grabs you and kisses you hard on the lips as he lifts you into his lap. He tosses the tool he was using over his shoulder as he kisses your neck, and you laugh when it rolls off the table and onto the floor.

“Should we go upstairs?” you ask as John continues to kiss your neck.

“No,” he shakes his head and sets you down, then he walks over to the sleeper sofa and pulls out the bed with little to no effort that makes the ache between your legs throb, “I’m taking you here. I can’t wait any longer.”

You shrug as you look at him, “Probably a good idea considering I think I might a little too loud.”

“No such thing.”

You smile as you watch John getting the bed all set up, and you laugh when he walks back over and grabs you to pull you into his arms. John carefully lays you down on the bed as you smile at him, then he crawls up to you and leaves kisses along your body. He tugs the garter belt that you’re wearing as you let out a small laugh, and you lean up to look at him as he gazes at you.

“So beautiful,” he whispers, pecking you before he gives your body more attention, “You look so fucking hot, baby.”

John continues to kiss all over your stomach and thighs, and you smile when he spreads your legs apart and gently rubs you over your underwear. You whimper softly as he slides his hand into your panties, then you prop yourself up on your elbows as you look down at him.

“You make me so wet, John.” you whisper as he smiles at you, then you lay back down so he can pull your underwear off. John loves a garter belt and stockings duo, so of course he doesn’t dare touch those. You close your eyes and bite your bottom lip when you feel John’s tongue sliding between your legs, and you arch your back and moan loudly when he sucks on your clit, “Oh, shit!”

John sucks on his finger before he slides it into your pussy, and you grip the mattress as he pumps his finger in and out slowly. He crawls up to you as he continues to finger you, and you grab him to pull him down to your lips.

“Fuck me,” you whisper to him as you frantically unbuckle his belt, and you smile when John lets out a small laugh, “What? I want you!”

“I want you too.” he whispers as he kneels on the bed to pull his shirt off, then he quickly kicks his pants and boxers off before he lays back down on top of you, “I always want you. Always.”

You wrap one arm around his neck and place your other hand on his cheek as he lays down on top and gets himself situated. You hold his gaze as he leans closer to your face, his lips brushing against yours and his breath hot against your skin, and you moan softly as he slips between your legs. John lets out a small breath as he pushes himself in deeper, then he swallows hard and shudders when he moves as far in as he can get. He says something about the feeling but it gets caught in his throat, so you’re not sure exactly what it was. You’ll take it as a compliment.

John slowly begins to thrust his hips as he holds your gaze, then he leans down to kiss you before he continues looking at you, “God, you’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you,” you whisper to him as he smiles at you, “I love you more than anything.”

Digging your nails into John’s biceps, you arch your back and moan loudly as pleasure courses through your body, electrifying every nerve. The sound of John between your legs grows louder as you become wetter, and you cling to him as he picks up speed.

“Does that feel good?” he croons in your ear, and you whimper loudly, nodding your head, “You want me deeper?”

“Oh, fuck!” you scream loudly as John sits up to get a better angle, and you reach down and rub circles on your clit as John watches. He pats your thigh a little to get you to roll over, then he holds your hips as you kneel on the bed and wait for him to slide back between your legs.

John’s right hand slides up your back to your neck as he slowly pumps his hips, then he helps you sit up to lean against his chest. You look down as John pulls your bra off and tosses it to the floor, then you close your eyes and smile when John caresses your breasts and sucks on your neck. He immediately begins to fondle your breast with the piercing, and you let out a small laugh.

“Fuck, yes…” John whispers as he thrusts his hips, and you feel his hand sliding between your legs. You lean your hands on the back of the sofa as John grips your hips tighter and pounds into you, then you smile when he leans down to kiss your cheek. “My girl. My favorite person on this planet. Fuck, I love how you feel.”

You whimper as you lean back more to kiss John, then you squeeze your eyes shut and feel John’s breath against your neck as you both moan loudly. John jerks his hips harder one last time, then he lays down and smiles when you crawl on top of him. He holds your waist as you slide down every inch of him, and you place your hands on his chest as you roll your hips.

“You feel…” you shiver as your teeth begin to chatter, then you grip John’s chest harder, “You feel so…good! I need you to fuck me harder!”

John bends his knees and wraps his arms around you so you’ll lay against his chest, then he kisses you as he thrusts his hips. You cling to John as you let out a loud string of moans, then you grip his bicep as you nearly scream his name.

“Oh, shit! Oh, fuck, John! John!” you scream into the crook of his neck, then your body begins to jolt as you come.

John’s hips begin to move faster as he brings on his orgasm, and you cling to him even tighter since he’s losing his rhythm. He holds tight to you as he jerks his hips one last time to fill you up, then he frantically moves your hair out of your face to kiss you.

“Oh, god!” you moan loudly as John holds tight to you and rolls you onto the bed, then he kisses down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth. “Mm…”

“You…are so good.” John whispers, and you open your eyes to finally look at him, “So good, baby. I love you more than anything in this world, and I can promise that that will never change. You are the only person I want, the only person who I think of. You are a constant thought in my mind. No one else. Just my favorite girl.”

You reach up to touch John’s cheek, then you nod your head when he wipes away the tear slowly sliding down your cheek, “I love you so much, John. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You are never losing me. I am with you until our last days.” he whispers, then he gently kisses you, “You’re the love of my life. The absolute love of my life, and that will never change.”

You sit up and pull your knees close to your chest to cover your breasts since you always feel a little self-conscious after you and John are intimate, then you look at him and tilt your head a little as you try to unscramble your thoughts.

“I’m sorry for being so blunt about Helen,” you whisper as John reaches over for your hand.

“Don’t be,” he shakes his head and moves closer, “Sometimes it’s okay to be blunt, especially when your husband is being clueless.”

You shake your head, “I don’t want you to think I’m still here always worrying about your love for me, or thinking that you’re still in love with Helen. Helen hasn’t been a subject of conversation for…a long time, then all of the sudden every story is about her. I know her birthday is soon…”

John nods as he sits up, then he looks over at you still covering yourself up. He lets out a small laugh, then he reaches over for his t-shirt, offering it to you. He grabs his boxers from the floor and pulls them on, then he smiles when you pull your hair away from your face.

He used to never be this comfortable around you. When you first started dating, he wouldn’t dare be completely naked in front of you. Obviously he was naked when you’d have sex, but after he’d usually put a blanket over his waist. Not anymore. Nope. He’ll just lay right there in front of you, completely naked. You certainly don’t mind. John is very well endowed, so you definitely don’t mind when he wants to…let it all hang out. He’s confident and it’s sexy.

“You know you don’t need to cover up around me.” he says, and you chuckle as you nod. “Why do you do that?”

“Just self-conscious, I guess.” you shrug, looking at him, “I’ve always been like that after sex though.”

Probably has something to do with your ex. He’d love your body during sex but he was usually pretty critical of it afterwards. John has never been like that but sometimes it’s hard to let go of trauma and rewire your brain. John definitely makes you feel sexy though and you know he’d never say a bad thing about your body.

John nods, “I know. But you should never feel insecure around me. I love your body.”

A smile spreads across your face as John lightly brushes his fingers over the stretchmarks on your thighs that you always worry about, then he moves closer to kiss you.

“Your body is…” John whispers as you hold his gaze, “Incredible.”

You laugh loudly, then you shove John’s shoulder a little, “You’re full of shit.”

John shakes his head as he lounges out next to you, “Not at all, Mrs. Wick. You look great.”

“Thanks,” you smile and lean down to kiss him.

“I know that I’ve been talking about Helen more and like I said the other night, I just wish she could be here to see how happy I am.” John whispers, and your eyes soften when he looks down at your hand in his, “We have the life that Helen and I would have wanted; quiet, simple, relaxed. We also have this other life that you and I want which is just chaotic and loud and unpredictable.”

You laugh as you nod, “Well, that’s life with a baby.”

“And it’s great!” he smiles, then it slowly fades a little, “I just wish Helen could see how happy you and Ronan make me. It’s all so confusing to me, so I’m sure it is for you as well.”

“No, I get it.” you nod when he looks at you, “It’s a great life, why wouldn’t you want her to see that?”

John nods, “Helen wasn’t just my wife, she was my friend. She was my only friend. I didn’t have Jimmy and Aurelio then.”

You reach over and cup his face when his chin wobbles a little, “I know.”

“She’d be happy for me.” he says, and you scoot closer to him, “I know there was a part of Helen that knew I wanted a family. I didn’t even know it until I met you, but maybe it was always there. She just figured it out before me. Having a family was something that she couldn’t give me. Only you could give me all of this.”

You smile tenderly when John looks up at you, and you lean over to kiss him a few times as he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You hold his gaze for a moment, then you look down at his hand on your thigh.

“She would be so happy to know that I’ve found my peace,” he says, and you look at him, remembering the words from Helen’s final card to John. “You’re my peace. In this chaotic world we live in, you give me peace. You calm me, you settle my brain and unscramble my mind. There is no one in this world that can give me that but you. I know this and you know this. You’re my soulmate.”

You sniffle as you look up at him, “I’m not asking you to never speak about her. I have never asked you to not speak about her or tell me stories about her. I’m well aware that you were married once before and you had a pretty good life with her, and believe it or not, I am so happy that you had that.”

John smiles softly, “I know you are.”

“I’m glad that you had her and had a beautiful life while it lasted.” you smile as you reach over to cup his face, “I’m glad you had someone to take care of you until I got here.”

“Me too,” he whispers, kissing the palm of your hand.

You sigh a little as you hold his gaze, “Maybe you want Helen to meet Ronan…”

John looks down and nods his head as he holds your hand, “I was thinking about asking you, but I wasn’t sure. I don’t want to cross any lines.”

“Maybe if she meets her…”

“I’ll stop talking about her,” he says, and you slouch and look down as you tear up, feeling guilty about being so upset. “Hey, hey, look at me.”

You look up at John as he tilts your chin up, “I feel bad now.”

“Don’t.” he shakes his head, “Don’t feel bad. I apologize for how I’ve made you feel, okay? I’m sorry.”

“I know,” you smile as you look at him, “And I am too.”

John smiles as he wraps his arms around you to hug you tight, and you melt in the warmth and security of his arms. You bury your face in the crook of his neck and inhale his cologne sticking to his skin, then you lean back and smile when he moves your hair out of your face.

“Why don’t we go out and see Helen tomorrow?” you say, and John nods his head. You get up from the bed and grab your lingerie that is thrown around the basement, then you smile at John as he grabs his jeans. “Sorry I distracted you from finishing your book.”

“It was a much welcomed distraction,” he whispers against your lips, then he stands back as you trade out his t-shirt for your robe since he’ll need to finish his work. He pulls his shirt back on and smiles as he sits down on the stool and pulls you between his legs, “I’ll be up in about 20 minutes.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and look into his eyes, “Okay.”

“I love you more than anything in this world. I want you to know that,” he whispers as you tear up, “You’re the only one for me.”

“I love you too.” you lean forward to kiss him, then you gesture to his book as you sniffle, “I’ll let you finish that.”

John pats your side as he smiles at you, “I’ll be up soon. Please don’t go up there and cry.”

“I wont,” you say, despite the fact that you’re tearing up. John tilts his head and gives you a look that makes you laugh, “I won’t! It’s just a little extra leftover tears from our conversation.”

“I mean it, peach,” he pulls you back to him, “If you’re still feeling upset, talk to me. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

You cup his face and hold his gaze, “I am. I promise. I’m okay.”

John looks into your eyes for a moment longer, then he kisses you gently, “Okay. Just keep checking in with me, okay? I don’t want you to feel upset or anything.”

“I know.”

He’s truly the best man. He really, really is.

A smile spreads across your face as you watch John turning back to finish his book, and you head upstairs to take a shower.

__

John stopped by the florist to get some flowers for Helen, and you laughed when he came out with a huge bouquet for you as well. You’re certainly not upset with him anymore, but it is nice that he has apologized and acknowledged that he was talking about Helen too much.

You would never ask him to stop talking about her since you know he’s not purposely doing it to hurt your feelings. He’s just happy in his life and he feels guilty that he’s so happy and living a great life. It’s a hard thing for even John to wrap his head around half the time, so he doesn’t expect you to fully understand, but you understand enough.

Leaning against the tree, you smile as you watch John kneel down in front of Helen’s tombstone as he holds Ronan. You’re too far from him to be able to hear what he’s saying, but you can see his mouth moving. He bounces Ronan in his arms a little and kisses her cheek, then he looks at the granite tombstone as you tiptoe closer.

“Best thing that has ever happened to me, Hel, I swear. Being a dad is…amazing. It’s better than anything I could have imagined.” he whispers, and you stand back a little, “I still don’t know how I got so lucky. I’ll never understand what I did to deserve them. First with Y/N and now with Ronan. Still don’t know if I even deserve them. I’m trying my best not to let them down, but I might have failed lately with Y/N, but I’m trying. I’m trying every day to be better because that’s what she deserves. She’s…so amazing.”

Ronan looks over John’s shoulder and waves at you, and you smile as you wave back at her. She reaches out for you and causes John to look over his shoulder, and you grimace.

“Sorry,” you point at Ronan, “I can take her.”

“Nah, come here.” he sits down in the grass and reaches for your hand.

You sit down next to John and take Ronan to set her in your lap, then you look at him, “When was the last time you were here?”

“When we came here and her sister showed up,” he says, and you scrunch your face a little as he laughs, “Yeah. Well, I just wanted Helen to meet Ro since this is the last time I’ll be coming out here.”

You furrow your brow and shake your head, “John, I--”

“I know. I know you’re not suggesting that,” he nods as he looks at you, then he smiles, “But I think Helen would understand. I can already hear her yelling at me and telling me to stop coming to visit her when I have you and this chunky bug at home.”

You look down at Ronan as John pinches her cheek, then you look up at him as he continues.

“I have such a great life with you, peach.” he whispers, then he shakes his head as he gestures to the tombstone, “I’d be upset too if the tables were turned, so don’t ever think you’re wrong for feeling the way you feel. It’s just you and I now.”

“Us and the bug.”

John chuckles, nodding his head, “Us and the bug. And I love it.”

“We love you.” you smile as you meet him halfway to kiss him.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says, groaning a little as he gets up. He reaches down to help you up, then he brushes away the grass on the back of your pants before reaching for your hand, “I think we deserve some ice cream.”

You chuckle softly, “I’m not trying to blame everything on it because it obviously wasn’t all me, but…I got my period this morning.”

John looks down at you and laughs, “Really?”

“Yeah…” you blush a little as you nod, then you look at him, “I know I was being a little…dramatic, but now it’s a little more obvious as to why. My periods since having Ro have been…rough, so to speak.”

“That’s okay,” John smiles as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “I was mostly to blame though.”

You stop at the car and watch as John gets Ronan in her car seat, then you smile at him and wrap your arms around him tight. He smooths your hair away from your face with both his hands, then he cups your face and kisses you tenderly as your eyes roll shut. He wraps his arms around your waist and places his hands firmly on your ass, and you both start to laugh when he squeezes a handful a few times.

“So grateful for you, peach.” he whispers, and you tilt your head as you smile at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you peck him again, then you get in the car and watch as he looks over at Helen’s tombstone one last time, which causes you to tear up a little. You smile as John gets in the car and reaches for your hand, and you let out a small laugh when Ronan squeals loudly in the backseat. “Yeah, you tell him, Ro. Hurry up, dad!”

John leans up to look in the rearview mirror at Ronan, then he laughs, “Okay, okay! Let’s go get some ice cream!”

__

You wander around the house and look for any of Ronan’s toys that might have been snuck away by Sadie, who is notorious for stealing toys, and you smile when you walk past the office and see John looking at the computer screen.

“Hey, you…” John says just as you walk past, and you lean against the door frame and look at him, “What are you doing?”

“Well,” you take a deep breath and cross your arms, “Tess called me a little bit ago and told me to keep an eye on Ro’s toys since Sadie likes to chew on baby toys, so I am currently hunting any lost toys down.”

John chuckles, “Found any yet?”

“Nope,” you shake your head, then you walk in and look around the office, “Oh! Spoke too soon.”

You bend over and find a toy hidden under a pillow, then you hold it up and look at it. It’s not one of Ronan’s most played with toys, so you’re not too upset about it. You’re not upset with Sadie either; these things happen.

“Ro never plays with that anyway,” John says, and you nod as you toss it into the garbage can next to him. He turns in the chair a little and smiles, and you walk over to sit in his lap as he wraps his arm around you, “You smell good, like…vanilla.”

“It’s the perfume you bought me.” you smile, then you inhale deeply before you look at him, “Look, I know the conversation has moved on, we’re all good, it’s been hours, but…I don’t want you to not go see Helen anymore, and I know you’re probably thinking ‘she’s just going to be upset when I go’, but I won’t. I don’t want to take that away from you. Seeing the way you took one last look at her grave just broke my heart. I can’t take that from you.”

John rubs your back and shakes his head, “You’re not taking it from me. I’m choosing you. I’m choosing to put the past in the past.”

“But she has no family here,” you say as John wipes away the tear on your cheek, “She has no one here to tend to her grave or come out to give her flowers for her birthday. I can’t stand the thought of that. I’ve always tried my best to respect your relationship with Helen because I know if I ever say anything bad or negative about her, you’re gone. You’d leave.”

“I would not.” John says, seeming hurt by the accusation.

You look down at your hands and swallow hard, “Or you’d hold resentment towards me for it.”

“No. I know you,” John whispers, rubbing his thumb against your chin, “I know you better than I know myself, so I know you’d never say anything bad about Helen. You’re not that kind of person.”

“I would never say anything bad about her,” you say softly, and he nods as you inhale deeply, “I’m not saying we need to go have picnics out there for her birthday and every holiday, but...”

John smiles, “How about this? How about when I feel like going out there, I will?”

You hold his gaze for a moment, then you look down at your wedding ring, “Um…”

A small laugh escapes John’s lips as you look back up at him, “You think I’m going to go there all the time now, don’t you?”

“Well…” you look at him and laugh a little since he caught you.

“I’m not,” he shakes his head, then he sits back a little and looks at you, “I think this is where I should spend most of my time, and I like that. I like it here. Just the three of us.”

You nod, “I guess there’s this part of me that knows that if it were you that…passed, I would sleep on your grave.”

John chuckles, “Well, I’m flattered.”

“I am so desperately in love with you that I can’t imagine moving on and marrying someone else.”

“That’s good…” John nods, raising his brows, “Considering I’m alive and healthy.”

You playfully roll your eyes and shove his shoulder, “You know what I mean!”

“I do,” he nods as he holds your gaze, “And before I met you, I felt the same way. Who knows, maybe after I--”

“Oh, fuck no!” you get up from his lap and put your hand out, “We are definitely not going there. You’re living until you’re 160.”

John laughs as he reaches for your hand, “As long as you’re here with me, I am totally fine with that.”

Letting out a small sigh, you walk back over to him and stand between his legs as you cup his face, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he smiles, leaning up a little to kiss you, “I’m not going anywhere. You’re gonna be sick of me soon.”

“Impossible.” you whisper, then you kiss his forehead and smile at him as you lightly rub your thumb over his beard, “Popcorn and a movie?”

John gets up from the chair and nods his head, then he wraps his arms around you from behind and walks into the kitchen with you still tight in his grip. He buries his face in the crook of your neck as you get a bag of popcorn out to pop, and you laugh when he doesn’t let go.

“Not letting go?”

“Never,” he whispers, and you look over your shoulder at him and smile when he tightens his grip.

You close your eyes and wrap his arms around you more, then you lean back against his chest and feel the warmth he radiates soaking into your skin as you smile.

“Good.”

__

taglist:

@sakurachan-9 @beingnerdyissupercool @tnu-ree @ruby-octo @scream-queen-25 @ladyren33

[hazlezah]

Happy disability pride to everyone with symptoms you don't understand and that your doctors don't either

[basaltdelta]

NETHER BIOLOGY i love nether biology... would you like to see my nether headcanons doc by chance, the first few points in it are about climate n stuff i looooove speculative biology stuff. if you have your own stuff related to the environment i would love to hear it 👀

ID FUCKING LOVE THAT !!! I have my own nether doc too we can trade docs in the alley. I've mostly focused on magic systems and like- How Piglins Use the environment. Im Slowly Building It Up and im getting to a place I really like as I make like, in-world characters that are also archeologists researching stuff, so I can establish what We OOC know and what people in the world actually know.

Bc my worldbuilding takes place a few centuries after a war happened that left the Pretty Developed Civilizations of the Nether scattered and relegated to rebuilding villages. So its like. The ReDomestication of the Nether by it's residents in a way. Like the Crimson Nether Grass had been farmed into a version of overworld wheat, but since Shit Went Down, it escaped and is now a common thing to find everywhere outside of the nether- STRIDERS TOO theyre all semi-domesticated and it Shows. THERES SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!! IM DEVELOPING A PANTHEON!!! AAAAA!!!

[autobotmedic]

[ waves at ppl who are still following/mentioning me despite my lack of activity

have a good holiday or just food in general yes that

[mechawolfie]

HUH weird i used to love dogs more than anything when i was a kid but now i find I'm more like. nervous w them. i wonder if that's related to me becoming more sensitive to sounds/smells/etc recently

[dreamofbecoming]

finally watched s3 and i think it’s very funny how jaskier and yennefer both came to see geralt on what was essentially his deathbed and immediately sat down and started crying like “oh my god babe i had the worst day you will not beLIEVE-”

[akascow]

its crazy coming home with so many bruises from work bc i honestly have no memory of getting them

like i know how i would get them

but i dont remember getting them

and thats weird right

[banyanas]

whatever the hell is wrong with sasha and marcy in Down Below can only be defined in the edition of the DSM we get like 20 years from now

[pieflavoredartz]

ITS SUCH A BEAUTUFUL MORNIN AAA

[cursed-spirit-manipulation]

Always a lil funny when ppl talk Abt Suguru being like the only one who saw Satoru as a person and not just a weapon bc like I don't think they're wrong! But I also don't think they're right

[ppulverse]

my wrist has been hurting for a few days and now the pain is getting worse and it's spreading to my arm and 💀 it's so bad

[yukizme]

the day you and megumi broke up was the worst day of gojo satoru's life.

now, not only did he have to deal with a moody teenager at home, he also had to deal with you at school.

"what do you mean you both broke up?"

"it means we're no longer together."

"but — but WHY?"

"reasons," megumi deadpanned, not taking his eyes away from the tv in front of him. gojo watched him for a minute and when it became clear that the kid wasn't gonna cry and ask him for help so that he could win you back, he knew exactly what he had to do.

a few blocks away, you had just finished tearing up over a sad song which reminded you of your current predicament when your phone pinged with a new notification.

you reached over to dig your phone up from the pile of pillows thrown on your bed and almost threw it out of the window when the name 'sea urchin🥊💍' stared back up at you.

you snapped back from your trance when it pinged again — and again and again and again until you couldn't take it anymore and opened the messages, your heartbeat echoing in your ears.

sea urchin🥊💍

do u care bout me be honest

i am giving you 5 secs pls pls pls

take me back 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

if this doesn't work lemme try this

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

c'mon u have to take me back now it's only being NICE

i am going to sleep now last chance

come onnnnnnnnnn

hello this is his dad do u care about megumi

on the other side, gojo was furiously trying his best to make it seem like it was megumi who was texting you and so far, he was absolutely convinced that he was getting the hang of it. it was only when the phone buzzed with a new notification that his dream of mastering espionage was shattered.

girlfriend

megumi's vocab includes yes, no, fuck off, what the fuck and itadori NO

he will strangle u if u use emojis

nice try tho sensei

tell that mf to talk to me if he wants to

or wtv

is he ok

not that i care

make sure he sleeps early tonight bc he got that training thing tomorrow morning

again i do not care

also delete these messages

(thank u)

gojo looked up grinning from megumi's phone, his eyes locking on his kid. megumi was fast asleep on the couch, his head leaning back against the back of it. even from some distance, gojo could see the tiredness etched on his face and something else that made him so restless. and despite not seeing you, he could bet his entire fortune that you were the same way and it made is heart hurt, seeing the two kids he loved like his own hurt so horribly like this.

looking at the messages you sent and your obvious care of him, he was sure that you'd both be okay.

gojo was there to make sure of it. and if one of the reasons for doing it was because he didn't wanna deal with antsy and moody teenagers for god knows how long, well, that was no one's business but his own.

[satorusdiary]

dilf!toji being your ex bf

fluff & angst + making up + cuddling + toji not being able to resist you when you look so fragile + toji forever loving you

part 2! - back in love !

You sent 1:03 am

hey, r u awake?

toji places the cigarette back down on the ashtray, looking at his phone slightly shocked. it’s been months since you and him have had contact, the split up that has happened to your relationship has left a strain in his heart.

why did you text him at this hour? and most importantly, why aren’t you asleep? toji knows how well your sleep schedule usually was.

his friends look at him concerned, the look on toji’s face confusing them even more compared to when he stopped smoking repeatedly just a few seconds ago.

“fushiguro, you good?” satoru questions, patting his friends shoulder as he looks over at his friends phone. he wasn’t able to get a look at the message before toji pulls the phone into a direction that wasn’t able to be seen.

“yeah.. jus’ lemme call someone real quick.” before the rest of his friends could protest, toji is up and walking over to an empty room in the apartment. taking a seat on the bed.

Toji sent 1:09 am

thought i told you to lose my number

now that’s something he wouldn’t text you, he immediately starting regretting sending that message the second you immediately read the message.

you were his sweet little girl. the young woman who he swore he was gonna marry, the one he swore to have kids with.

things were different when he realized how much his life would have an impact on you if you stayed with him.

what’s good about a sweet girl who has a bright future getting with a older man selling illegal substances, that could send him to jail for years and years.

yeah not good at all.

toji knew what’s best for you, and if it meant him not being with you then it was worth it.

because he loved you, and would do physically anything in his power for you to have the best in life.

You sent 1:09 am

i know, i just need someone to talk to rn. i’m sorry

his heart weeps, you still want his comfort even after he has completely broke you, and your relationship with him.

he should be in jail for just breaking you in general.

toji sighs, not knowing how to reply. he wants to comfort you, yet he wants to push you away from his life. push you away from the trouble and the dangers that could happen to you.

he thinks you have given up until you text him 3 minutes later.

You sent 1:12 am

can i call you, please toji?

he couldnt deny it. he just couldnt. his love for you was simply unbreakable even if you weren’t together anymore.

his friends out in the living room are most likely concerned and worried for toji, but that’s the least of his problems. he needs to know if you’re okay, if you’re hurt.

‘incoming call from Toji’

he swears his heart skips a beat when the call goes through.

toji is not one to get nervous. especially with anything in general. but when it came to you, everything comes crashing down. when it comes to you, toji is willing to do anything for you, because you were his girl. his love.

“..hi” your voice is shaky, it seems you’re nervous as well. could he blame you though? this was the first time in months he has actually spoke to you.

“hey.” he replies, hoping you wouldn’t notice the weak tone in his voice as he spoke.

there’s a moment of silence, and soft breathing from your end before toji speaks up.

“are you ok? why’d you call me.”

it’s harsh, his tone is harsh. your eyes begin watering, and you hope he doesn’t notice.

“i-i am just having trouble sleeping, that’s all. ‘wanted your company atleast to calm me down.” your tone has a small strain, as if you were crying for hours before you called him.

it was as if he was able to see your puffy eyes through the screen, he could just imagine it now.

“there’s something else, hm? c’mon tell me, y’know i won’t judge.” especially with you. is what he wanted to say as-well, but he couldn’t get to soft with you now. he couldn’t.

he hears a sniffle from your end, feeling his heart clench once more. as if his heart is dropping to the bottom of his stomach.

“okay.. t-truth is i usually sleep better with you ‘round. but since you’re gone, ‘ts been kinda rough. i just wanted to call you for once, to see if it would help..” you confessed, voice breaking down in between sentences.

toji has an urge to put you down, and hang up. but he couldn’t, how could he resist you? especially after everything he has put you through.

the bracelet on his wrist that has your initials come into his vision. you had made this for him when he was sick, he has never took it off ever since.

“y’want me to come over? not gonna make contact, jus’ gonna be there til you sleep.” he says calmly, he swore he could’ve heard you sigh in relief.

“mhmm, yes please..” you’re still polite, his sweet girl is still sweet around him. that’s what he misses with you.

“alright’ be there in 10. jus know i’m never doin this shit again, kay?” he says harshly, too harsh.

you sniffle again, he could tell your frowning and having tears drop on your phone screen. his heart strings get tugged, and he calms his weeping heart.

he’s hurt you once again.

the call ends before you could say anything else, and he’s out of the bedroom quickly taking his keys. his friends look at him concerned.

“yo, you good?” suguru comments, looking up at his friend who was ready to leave the apartment.

“where you going?” satoru also questions.

toji shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh as he turns to look at his of friends once again.

“gonna be gone for a bit, see ya tomorrow?” he waves them off, and goes out the door before they could reply, or ask anymore questions.

he knows he said he would be at your place by 10 minutes, but he ends up arriving in 5 minutes. quickly at your door step, knocking on the door gently.

just as he predicted, you open the door almost immediately.

when he looks at you, he swears he could break down then and there. on your door step.

your eyes are puffy, you’re wearing his hoodie that he “accidentally” left at your home, and there were dried tear stains on your puffy cheeks.

he wanted to kiss your cheeks badly, and cradle you in his arms. but he resisted.

thats before you crash into his arms, immediately breaking down. hugging him tightly as if he was going to disappear again.

toji breaks, he can’t handle the cold act around you any longer.

“y/n? what’s wrong baby? speak to me..” toji coo’s, his harsh tone disappeared. you automatically feel comfort from his nice tone, something you missed.

there he is, the sweet older boyfriend you have always missed. the man who was your home, your protector, your everything.

“‘missed you s’much toji. miss being with you and megumi, i-i can’t sleep without thinking about how i could’ve been better for you.” you stutter repeatedly.

it was no lie that megumi missed you as well. the boy who is only 3 years old can not go a night without asking where you were, if you were coming back to him without breaking down. because you made the little boy feel loved.

toji’s heart breaks, now he notices how selfish he has been. yes he was protecting you, but he also broke you so much. regret seeps into his body, he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly.

“‘s not your fault sweets, you were more than enough for me. c’mon, let’s go to bed.” he murmurs, picking you up bridal style and walks towards your bedroom. the door behind him shutting closed.

the photo of you both happily together was still on your night stand, toji’s heart breaks for the millionth time in the past hour.

his side of the bed was cold, as if you never slept on it. that’s because it felt wrong sleeping on that side, knowing it once belonged to him.

you continue crying as you’re placed on the bed, still in toji arms. he’s careful with you, placing kisses on your face and rubbing your body to give you his heat.

“i-i miss you.. s’much.” you repeat, looking up at him for the first time with clear sight. tears drying back on your cheeks.

he gives you a sad smile and kisses both of your cheeks, sticky with tears.

“i miss you more sweetheart, missed my little girl s’much.. ‘l’ll explain everythin to you tomorrow, kay?” he questions, caressing your cold cheek.

the smile you give him is sad, but could easily melt the coldness in his heart.

after you nod he places a kiss on your lips, before pulling you closer, your head on his chest while is head is rested on top of yours.

the night goes by, and your soft snores fill the room. toji’s eyes are still glued onto the photo of you both, looking so happy, so dumb and in love.

he is gonna make that happen again, only for you. he’d figure out everything else soon, his priority was now you.

“i love you, missed you more than anything. baby.” he whispers quietly, placing one last kiss to your temple before drifting off to sleep.

for the first time in months he is able to sleep with no bad feelings, or any nightmares.

that is because you’re by his side, by his side to push away all the bad thoughts. by his side to make him feel loved again.

Jujutsu Kaisen masterlist

part 2 - back in love !

a/n: don’t mind typos pls, it’s like 3:47 am😭😭

[reidrum]

I can't stop thinking munch!spencer x reader who's insecure about having thick thighs (it's me, I'm reader)

take a seat | s.r

hi thank u for requesting!! i tried to be ambiguous about reader’s size but if it doesn’t come across that way lemme know and ill fix it!!!

wc: 1.7k

cw: 18+ smut minors dni, afab reader, face sitting, munch!spencer my beloved, insecure!reader who i took to be a little self indulgent sorry, fluff, hurt comfort but no hurt lol

this is also not proofread sorry

_______________________________________________

the thing about spencer is if you have any fear or qualm about anything, his main verbal form of comfort is information. and it’s not a bad thing, not at all. finding comfort in the facts is what spencer hopes to achieve when he spews his tidbits. it’s just, sometimes it’ll do more harm than good, or even worse, do nothing at all.

that’s where you’re at right now, sitting in spencer’s room with your legs tucked under you while he sits up at the head of the bed. the top buttons of his dress shirt are undone, tie strewn somewhere in the room. you’re still fully clothed albeit in a loose t shirt and some panties. the want in his eyes is undeniable, his question still lingering in the air.

you weren’t exactly the most confident person, but was anyone really? did people really wake up in the morning, look at themselves in the mirror and say, ‘wow, i look beautiful today.”? tell themselves they’re going to have a good day because they said so?

so when you’d spent your whole life living in the shadows trying to blend in and just do your job, one day an ever observant spencer reid saw you struggling to carry your coffee and your bag into the bullpen and came to your rescue before it could spill all over you. you were a mumbling mess, uttering thank you’s and i’m so sorrys and i’ll be more careful next time. but his gaze on you was unwavering, even in the face of your uneasiness, and firmly but softly told you nothing was wrong, and suggested that maybe you and him should get coffee before work to avoid this rush next time.

falling in love with him was too easy after that.

spencer never failed to make you feel cherished, loved, safe, always going above and beyond to care for your needs and wants. the trust you had in him was immense and you knew he would never steer you astray.

so sitting in front of him on his bed while he adorns a small smirk asking, no telling, you to sit on his face, made you falter a bit.

“you want me, to sit on your face?”

he nods, “yeah.”

any thought you’ve ever had vanishes from your brain, “b—but, won’t it be uncomfortable? for you?”

“not at all.”

seeing spencer be surprisingly calm about this is having the opposite effect on you, creating the unsettlement in your gut. like he’s been thinking about this for while, has wanted you at his mercy in a way you haven’t experienced before, has thought through all the facts and possibilities and ruled with absolute certainty that this was what he wanted, needed. and right now your body is betraying your mind as the heat pools between your legs.

but that brain of yours, a blessing with its vast knowledge but a curse at how easily a single thought can send you into a deep spiral, is working overtime to convince you that this isn’t really what he wants.

he can see the cogs working overtime and scoots closer to you and places a comforting hand on your thigh to rub soothing shapes with his thumb, “what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“nothing i-“ you stop before you can get too deep.

his eyes look at you expectantly, luring you to continue.

“what if i hurt you?”

“that is literally impossible.”

“what if i suffocate you?”

“then that would be a great way to go out.” he chuckles.

you lightly slap his leg, “stop that.”

he gestures you closer to sit curled into his side, a comforting arm smoothing you up and down. “if you really don’t want to do it that’s okay i don’t want to push you, just want you to feel good s’all.”

you ponder for a minute, “…you would tell me if it’s too much right?”

“i would,” he nods, “but i won’t need to.”

he squeezes your hand in reassurance, and you remember that spencer reid would never lie to you.

which is why you say, “okay.”

his eyes light up like a carnival, “yeah?”

you take a deep breath, “yeah.”

“come here,” cupping your cheek to bring in and kiss you.

it starts off slow, deliberate. like he wants you to know how much he appreciates you placing your trust in his possession, and how gently and carefully he’s going to take care of it.

you hike a leg over his lap to straddle him and wrap your arms around his neck, letting his lips mark you like a road map. he moves down your jaw and uses his nose to nudge your neck away, giving him better access to litter the skin with love bites.

the moans spilling from your mouth spur him on, he starts subconsciously bucking his hips up causing you to grow restless for more.

he senses this and motions for you to lift up on your knees above him so he can slide his body down flat between your legs. the warm palms of his hands rest where your thighs meet the swell of your ass.

you look down at the sight of him laid out for you, and catch his shit eating grin staring back. the dichotomy this position gives you with a sense of power to be over him like this but the vulnerability at feeling so exposed caused a swirl of emotions for you.

“hey,” he squeezes his palms laid on your ass, “if this is a lot, that’s okay.”

“no, no.i think i want this. i’m just scared.” you softly admit.

“nothing to be scared of, angel. it’s not like i haven’t eaten you out before, it’s just a different position,” his hands move closer to your core, “let me make you feel good, please.”

you stare into his eyes once more, being met with nothing but trust and lust for you. with a deep breath, you nod your head.

he smirks again, “alright sweetheart, take a seat.”

you slowly inch your body up his own, hearing him outwardly groan as your cunt came into his line of sight.

“jesus fuck, you have the prettiest pussy.”

you preen at his words once you’ve reached the position, and you hover in hesitation. he wraps his arms under and around your legs and gently pulls you down.

and he attacks you like a man starved. his tongue licking a full stripe up your cunt, letting it swirl around your clit. the feeling is so intense in this position you have to lean forward and brace yourself on the headboard.

with a gasp you whine out his name, “oh my god, fuck.” he continues to use his tongue to barrel you towards your peak, knowing exactly where to touch and lick to rile you up.

he can tell you’re still holding back, feeling the tense muscles in your upper thighs harden under his touch. with a sharp tug he pulls you to be seated fully on his face, and he lets out a deep groan that vibrates through your whole body.

you’re fully at his mercy now, held down by his large hands and his mouth working so hard to make you see stars. the pleasure is overtaking all of your senses, when you look down to meet his eyes they’re staring right back at you, reveling in your ecstasy. a languished moan leaves you as you tangle your hands in his hair and pull.

he laps up your arousal with urgency, tongue moving in such a delicate and intricate way you would think he’s writing a love letter with it.

the coil in your gut starts to tighten and you can feel your peak coming fast, “spence…” you whine.

he hums in response, silently acknowledging what you mean. one more slow lick up and down your slit was all it took to push you overboard. the endorphins rush over you like a tsunami as you try to ride out the wave of your orgasm.

spencer doesn’t stop his motions and continues to work your overly sensitive clit, gripping your legs tighter to him as he prevents you from escaping.

“shit, oh god baby, you need to st—stop.” you brokenly moan out. you tug on his hair hard as you try to release his grip on you, and after a few minutes he takes pity and lets you go.

you let out a big and tired sigh as you flop to the side of him, one leg still draped over him as you’re both panting heavily, attempting to come down from the heat of the moment.

he smoothes out the leg over him with his hand and turns to face you, face plastered with a stupid grin and glistening with you.

“see? that wasn’t so bad.”

you scoff breathlessly, “i think maybe you’re trying to kill me.”

“maybe,” he laughs, “ but you liked it right?”

you nod bashfully, “did you…like it?”

his eyes widen, “are you kidding? you looked so hot it drove me insane. you’re always so beautiful but having you like that…i like making you feel good, it makes me feel really good, and that is a win-win.”

you smile at him and move closer to fit under his arm and into his side, your hand resting on his chest. he tightens his arm around you and whisper, “i love you.”

“i love you too,” you say through hooded eyes. your hand starts trailing lower, “must have been really good for you seeing how painful this looks.” you softly say, gesturing to the aching bulge in his boxers, the dark patch stained by precum.

his breath hitches as you inch closer, “baby, no it’s okay. you don’t have to do th—“ the sentence gets cut off when your hand gives him a tentative squeeze.

“i don’t have to, but i want to. i should thank you somehow for making me feel so good,” your voice dropping an octave in lust, “will you let me show my thanks, honey?”

you stare at him with the sultriest doe eyes he’s ever seen, and he’s thoroughly convinced in that moment that you are, in fact, trying to kill him.

still a great way to go out, he thinks.