#//in the SS to try and gets some of his own revenge off

[doomxdriven]

"Wiping out the Shinigami is a goal I can certainly get behind, but taking away their Bankai to do it? That feels cheap to me."

"Watching the Shinigami suffer without their Bankai is entertaining without a doubt-- cutting them down at their full potential, though? That would be far more satisfying in my opinion."

[password-door-lock]

“Don't you ever get tired, boss?” You ask, peering over Unknown's shoulder at his screen.

He turns around to scowl at you. Yes, of course he gets fucking tired. That's by no means something he's proud of, and it's by no means something he wants to hear you prattling on about. Unknown has discovered that he likes having you around— it's nice to have someone to talk to, and even better that you're usually able to entertain him, at least to some degree— but he could do without the constant questions. You always want to know what he's working on (which is classified), what you can do to help (nothing whatsoever, unless you're sitting on a bunch of useful skills that have somehow managed to escape Unknown’s notice thus far), and, worst of all, how he's feeling (which is none of your goddamn business, actually). Unknown has no interest in anything even remotely resembling a conversation about emotions with you, let alone one about his physical state. 

“Hm,” he says eventually, not caring how you interpret the sound. It's none of his business how you interpret things, at least as long as you're keeping those interpretations to yourself and staying out of trouble.

“Then you should sleep,” you suggest, “I'm sure that it'll help you work better.”

“Oh, is that so?” Unknown hums, still not looking up from his screen— truth be told, he's barely listening to you. He couldn't care less what you think about his methods, though that certainly doesn't stop you from peppering him with moral qualms and concerns about his health under these working conditions— as if Unknown has any control over that, anyway. Why do you want to make him feel so powerless? Can't you just stay securely under his thumb and let him go about his business? 

“Yeah,” you reply, “It is. If you're tired, you should sleep. That’s kind of, like, basic knowledge 101, you know?”

“I can't sleep, prince(ss),” Unknown grits out. He’s annoyed that this is even a discussion. 

“Oh, you mean you can’t fall asleep?” You ask, probably trying to be helpful. Normally, Unknown wouldn't give a shit about anybody's intentions but his own or his Savior's... however, lately, he's begun to pick up on the fact that people can mean very well while somehow managing to remain insufferably annoying. He wouldn't have thought that this combination was possible until he met you— you should be proud of yourself, Unknown supposes, though not too proud— that would be a bit much. “Then that might be because of all the monitors. Maybe you’d be able to rest better if you turned a couple of them off.” 

“No,” he growls before you can give him another useless suggestion. Just because Unknown understands your motivations doesn't mean he's going to entertain any more nonsense from you. After all, he's your boss, not your friend— and honestly, boss isn't the term he originally would have selected, but it would be too much of a hassle to change anything now that you seem married to the idea. “I can't sleep unless that redhead sleeps, get it? He’ll attack and undo all my progress while I’m wasting time in dreamland.” And if that redhead is sleeping, then Unknown isn't going to sleep, either, because it'll give him an opportunity to get a leg up. If he rests only when his exhaustible body forces him to do so, then eventually, he’ll arrive at his revenge. 

“Well, if you're not sleeping, I'm not sleeping,” you declare, “And if you think I'm annoying now, you're just gonna love me when I'm sleep deprived.”

Unknown rolls his eyes at your sheer audacity. “Aw, do you think you're being clever?” He coos. “You can't control me that easily, assistant.” Lately, Unknown has gotten into the habit of calling you by your title as if it were a pet name of some kind. He likes the reaction that it gets from you, though he doesn’t understand it— if you’re so proud to be his assistant, then why do you constantly question him? Can’t you just leave well enough alone? 

“I’m just showing you how ridiculous and stubborn you’re being, boss. What are you gonna do about it?” You ask.

You’re challenging him, trusting that he’ll humor you as you test him in a vain attempt to prove a really useless point. Unknown isn’t sure why you couldn’t have applied this determination to chatting with the RFA, or at least going into that apartment. Maybe you would have been happier there, with people who would accept and embrace your affection and concern. But there’s no point in thinking about that now— you’re stuck with Unknown, and for all intents and purposes, he is equally stuck with you. 

Unknown just rolls his eyes at you again. Honestly, maybe he is starting to get tired, if you've managed to get under his skin so easily— but it doesn't matter whether he's tired or not. Unknown will get his work done regardless of his physical condition, and you should get that through your head as soon as possible. “You're gonna go lay down on the couch and shut your mouth,” he intones, “Or else I'll send you to your room, and you can stay there alone. How does that sound, cutie?”

Even if you insist on staying awake to prove some useless point to him, eventually, you’ll drift off if you’re laying there not doing anything. That way, Unknown won’t have to worry about you while he’s working— of course, he isn’t at all concerned with your well being, he reminds himself. He just doesn’t want to have to waste time thinking about what kind of trouble you might be causing behind the scenes. 

“Wow, so cruel,” you pretend to lament with a pouting expression as you throw yourself onto the couch. You’re just joking, of course— you don’t actually think that about him. If you did, you wouldn't be able to say it so flippantly. You’re convinced that he’s a good person somewhere deep down, but Unknown might very well be cruel— no, scratch that. He knows for a fact that he's a bad guy to his core, a monster in every sense of the word. Unknown is by no means a nice person, but he knows how to get what he wants. That’s got to count for something, right? “But just promise me you’ll rest eventually, okay?” Your concern is evident in your voice, even if you try to hide it behind that playful tone. 

“Mhm. Maybe I’ll be able to rest when my assistant isn’t causing me so many problems,” he hums. It’s best to just humor you, to keep you from wasting time worrying when you could be helping Unknown with his revenge. Besides, he’s not even really lying— he’ll have to sleep eventually. No matter how many times he pushes his body to its limits, it never seems to get any stronger or better at staying awake when he needs it to.  “But if you want to stay with me, then you should start being quiet now.”

You don't respond, and for his part, Unknown counts it as a win.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Allright, ya’ll asked for it, so here’s my incredibly edgy self-indulgent OC from my edgelord 15 year old phase.

So basically, this guy, Blaidd (a name which I picked because it meant wolf in Welsh but also because it sounds kinda like blade) is a werewolf. He and his family are dissenter in Nazi German and is eight when the SS takes him and his family away to be executed. They aren’t able to execute Blaidd because he’s a werewolf and all they succeed in doing is forcing his first transformation.

The Nazi’s capture him and torture/experiment on him for the next few years until the end of WW2 where the Nazi’s are defeated and Blaidd is found by the Soviets, where upon THEY  capture him and turn him into their torture-experiment guinea pig for the next twenty odd years.

All this somehow turns Blaidd into some-kind of superwerewolf immune to most forms of harm. So at this point he’s mostly a Wolverine rip-off.

Anyway, in this world, Kennedy was never elected so the Cuban Missile Crisis catapulted into full on Nuclear War, wiping out most of the human race. Because of this destruction of civilization, monsters and magic comeback, seeing a chance to force themselves into this new world order and build it into their image.

It’s this world Blaidd finally frees himself to. One-part Fallout, one-part Resident Evil, one part Dark Souls.

Blaidd lives as a feral animal for about a decade until he’s found and nursed back to sanity by a kindly druid (because humans can use magic again) and their village. There, Blaidd relearns human and monstrous kindness as the village contains both.

Unfortunately, the village is attacked and wiped out by the Silverfang Vampires, vampires who rip their own teeth out and replace them with silver ones to make them more deadly. They kill pretty much everyone in the village except Blaidd who murders them all in a revenge-induced blood rage, rips out all their teeth, and uses the silver to forge a giant-ass greatsword.

So now, if you’re keeping track, this guy is a Supersoldier werewolf who can heal from most everything, even his guts and spine being ripped out, and has a Dragonslayer-sized silver sword for killing everything in his path, inhabiting a a post-nuclear apocalypse filled with mutant monsters and regular monster and he’s the only thing badass enough to bring peace and order.

After that, things get pretty episodic. Blaidd wandering a post-apocalyptic Europe, goes to a place where a human or monster is doing bad shit, he kills them, and moves on.

Notable imaginary storylines include:

 - meeting his mother who was also captured and experimented on by the Nazis but it was the Americans that continued her torture-experimentation, turning her into a cybernetic-werewolf with a silver skeleton so she’s in constant maddening agony.

 - Hunting down a computer that Hitler downloaded his consciousness into at the end of the war.

 - killing a super-powered Stalin clone-vampire

 - A lot of these plotlines are just killing fascists

 - meeting his love-interest, a hot dragon-girl, whom he meets when they’re trying to kill each other but then they’re assaulted by an army of ghouls who they star killing wile still trying to kill each other and the violence and murder gets them so horny they hook up for the first time in an inch-deep pool of blood a not-insubstantial portion of which is theirs.

 - Beach episode

[rayshippouuchiha]

Bleach Runaways 2

Um, excuse? I came here to get this sticky AU off my grubby little raccoon hands and you all want me to bring you more? I don’t even know what I expected.

Okay, so this is probably going to suck because I’m mostly making the AU up on the fly. To keep this going, I’m combining this with a what-if? I’ve had about Bleach for a while.

What if Soul Society never found Rukia in the human world?

I mean, Kisuke, Yoruichi and Tessai, and the Vizard as a group, are all highly wanted criminals. Isshin (along with Yoruichi) was the head of a major clan. You’re telling me no one went looking for them? And then, all of them managed to avoid Seireitei finding them in a spiritual hot spot like Karakura? But Byakuya managed to hunt down Rukia in a matter of weeks? I mean, there’s a fun tangent to go on there about Byakuya being hyper competent, but also-

So for the sake of this AU, I’m digging into the idea that SS did go looking Urahara and Friends and were unsuccessful because he is just that skilled. This also means that while Aizen does have some spycams in Karakura, that manage to catch Urahara sometimes, it’s not the bullshit surveillance state that I recall him having in canon (not that he’d admit it. Aizen will still try to make everyone think he’s omniscient, but that’s just part of his master manipulator shtick). Aizen knows that Ichigo exists and has theorized plenty about their potential, but he doesn’t actually know shit. If it takes Urahara and Co and decade to find the Kurosaki’s then Aizen definitely doesn’t know where Masaki took the kids. So by the time we’re cuaght up to the canon timeline, Ichigo is a factor in Aizen’s plans, sure, and eventually Aizen intends to catch up to the kid and experiment to his twisted hearts content, but he’s not expecting Ichigo to be, well, Ichigo.

What does this mean for my Runaways AU? A couple things. It means that when Urahara catches up with the Kurosaki’s, he’s able to sneak them back to Karakura without Aizen noticing anything. Why go back to Karakura? All those training grounds!!! They’ve got Urahara’s basement, the Vizard’s warehouse, and I have no doubt that Masaki would be able to convince Ryuuken to let her and the kids make use of his own set-up under the hospital. So the Kurosaki’s come back home and everyone starts a training montage. 

But less intense and more comprehensive than anything we got in canon because everyone has time.

Circling back to Rukia.

We know from the Soul Society arc that Rukia’s rescue operation sped up Aizen’s plans. In this AU, Urahara is (still?) planning to strike first, but he’ll be doing so with a better prepped team and with the Vizard being active participants in their own revenge scheme. (I always got the feeling that the Vizard figured out how to control their hollow powers and get their initial power ups, but failed to keep pushing their limits. Like folks at the gym who’ve reached their goal and now they’re just training for maintenance. Which is fine in every situation but this one where you’re facing off against a megalomaniacal madman who has a workable plan to kill/become capital “G” God. Once Ichigo starts training with them, it doesn’t take long for Shinji and Friends to realize they need to start upping their game.)

So Rukia is still stationed in Karakura Town. And things are…calmer, since Ichigo isn’t leaking reiatsu and attracting hollows all the time. She’s doing well, gradually finding her feet without her brother or captain or, wow, anyone looking over her shoulder and watching her every move.

I will avoid going too far off tangent with my Rukia Thoughts, but just understand that I loved her from the moment I saw her and pretty much immediately started forming headcanons. At 14, I was that fan who looked Kubo right in the eye, said “I understand her better than you,” and ran off with Rukia wholesale. So if my Rukia seems OOC, that’s because I made her better and canon is an imposter. Sorry?

So Rukia is in Karakura, and she’s getting some much needed breathing room and fighting experience. Yeah, Rukia’s got skills, but Byakuya’s meddling has denied her a lot of practical experience that basically every other shinigami has gotten. And then Shiba-related trauma just making everything worse. So she may not have Ichigo’s friends adopting her into their social circle to build her confidence, but she’s still getting some needed growth. But part of what we loved in the first season was that found-family vibe she had going with Ichigo and crew! We need that back!

Meanwhile, everyone at the Shoten and the warehouse are avoiding her because that’s what they do and as much as I love Rukia, she is not a super sleuth, set to knowingly uncover a hidden sect of Soul Society exiles and criminals who’ve gone undetected for a century. So who’s she gonna meet?

 Rukia still needs to be adopted by the Kurosaki’s because that shit is adorable and I need it. Ichigo is out of the running because they are busy. Most days, they’re leveling up at the warehouse after school and giving everyone whatever Get-Your-Shit-Together motivational talks they need. Afterwards, they’re at the Shoten, bullying Urahara into actually explaining things instead of trying to baffle them with bullshit like he does everyone else.* (I imagine Masaki moved the family in with Ryuuken when they got back(only child Uryuu suddenly having siblings crack fic anyone?), but Urahara still offered the Shoten as a second home, just in case the Kurosaki’s needed more protection. Masaki does not take him up on this, but the kids develop a habit of coming by regularly to steal candy and generally harass the man who was going to turn Ichigo into a sacrificial science experiment.)

Yuzu is also out because I need her to be busily absorbing all the knowledge she can. I am deeply in love with AnotherSpoonyBard’s Butterfly Effect series (even though there’s no Ichigo in it) and Yuzu’s character there is amazing. She’s not traditionally powerful by shinigami standards, but she’s smart and her spiritual power is deeply weird. And now that she doesn’t have to be Mom 2: Parentification Boogaloo, she has the time and guidance to be the next Shiba prodigy.

That leaves Karin. Which is great, because Karin, for all that she still ignores spiritual stuff (she’s a contrarian at heart), she’s still a tough little shit kicker who shares Ichigo’s compulsion to dive in and help. She’s out, probably playing soccer and enjoying her day when hollow nonsense starts up. Maybe Rukia hasn’t arrived yet, maybe Rukia is struggling, but either way, Karin Gets Involved.

Blah blah blah, big fight happen, the hollow is defeated and the adrenaline is cooling. Suddenly, the facts of the fight hit both of them, and Karin and Rukia see each other. They have just enough time to share a panicked “oh shit I’ve been spotted” look before vanishing. It should be nothing. It should’ve been nothing. Some humans have higher reiatsu levels and it’s fine, it’s fine. Except.

Except they keep noticing each other, now. And each side notices that they’ve been noticed. Karin could keep on pretending nothing happened until the day she died, she is already as involved in shinigami shenanigans as she wants to be. But Rukia is finally starting to feel good at her job and that job includes reporting on unusual things, not just defeating hollows. And this kid may just have heightened awareness, but she keeps acting suspicious and Rukia would be remiss in her duties if she didn’t look into it a little.

And that’s how Rukia finds her way to the Urahara Shop, where this weird kid she’s following is sassing the shop owner and openly stealing candy. And hey, this shop keeper is weird too and the shop is weird and this end of town never comes up on her map and-

Urahara of course knows about the resident shinigami and has been thinking about his old plan to hide the hogyoku and the opportunity has presented itself without him even doing anything…. But Ichigo and Masaki would both make his life very difficult if he acted on it. So Rukia holds onto her powers for now. He is absolutely gonna sell her a line and get a new customer, though, just watch him.

Rukia, meanwhile, is trying her best to be a Kuchiki, but she’s got Rukongai in her bones. So while the Urahara Shoten is sketchy af, they don’t seem to be doing anything wrong. Technically, she should report it, but…

Look, there are a lot of reasons people want to stay off Soul Society’s radar. Most of the time, they’re just folks trying to get by in peace. As much as Rukia knows that she and others genuinely want to help, she still remembers how the shinigami look from the outside. Reporting them without knowing more would needlessly escalate things. She can just be a shopper. Get to know the place and the people there. Provide some off-the-books support when needed. That sort of thing.

(Plus Urahara sells exclusive Chappy merchandise. Score.)

Ichigo gets involved because they’re at the shop often. Yuzu takes the opportunity to ask questions from an active shinigami about kido which Rukia tries to brush off because why tf does this human kid want to know about spellwork? Yuzu still learns more than Rukia means her to and they bond over cute things. And there’s time to hang out because, knowingly or not, Ichigo’s resemblance to Kaien just makes Rukia more inclined to come by the shoten. Masaki eventually introduces herself. She still has zero tolerance for shinigami bullshit, but her kids are getting to know this girl and much like Ichigo’s training, she is going to be present and involved gdi.

Aizen is still off screen being himself and has Rukia in his sights as a way to start chipping at the Kuchuki’s reputation. A situation is set up to in some way imperil/disgrace/frame Rukia and she has to go radio silent. At this point, I imagine Ichigo makes the decision to tell Rukia who they all are and what’s going on. It’s A Lot, but it also makes sense.

The temptation to give in and return to Soul Society is strong - Rukia in this AU knows that she’s innocent of the charge and she’s sure if she can just explain - but there’s this whole group of people who are living testaments to how bad an idea that is.

Meanwhile, Byakuya is coming to get his sister.

Man, that’s a foreboding line. But I suck at writing fight scenes, so we’re going to skip all of that and get to the part where Byakuya, after a harrowing and revelatory battle, is also read in on the Aizen bullshit. He’s not fully convinced, but he’s also not an idiot. And in this AU, the charges against Rukia are plausible but unlikely and Byakuya’s doubts are a little harder to ignore.

I’m also imagining Masaki bringing Big Mom Energy to the discussion. While Ichigo has things to shoutsay about being an older sibling and protecting little sisters, Masaki has Thoughts about family honor. Like, ‘what good is that honor, that power of protection that made your family noble to begin with, when the people who need it are tossed to the wolves at the slightest error? What does sending your sister to a judge and jury that are already accusing her baselessly accomplish? Are you expecting them to say they made a mistake? Do you want your vassals to live in fear of you should they ever find themselves in trouble? Do you not see how playing into this leads to long term weakening of your house?“

So Byakuya returns to Soul Society without Rukia for now. He doesn’t trust Urahara or the Vizard, but what they say has a ring of truth. Rukia will stay in contact with him so that he can bring her home once he’s sure it’s safe. Or at least once it’s fair. So Byakuya is back and he’s on alert. People find it a little surprising that Byakuya couldn’t find Rukia, but no one else could either, so it’s brushed off. People are talking, though.

Rukia was an unseated officer. Big name, but as far as anyone knows, she’s got no real power. And yet she’s vanished. How does that happen? Maybe she was hiding something. Or maybe she saw something and was killed to cover it up. Or or or.

The conspiracy theories start to run wild, to the point that it’s almost forgotten that there’s a real person is missing under a cloud of suspicion. Most people know her as the Kuchiki’s adopted pet, that she’s cold, that she only got anywhere because of Byakuya. Ukitake is always quick to come to Rukia’s defense and claim that the accusations had to be a mistake or misunderstanding. And now he’s got a body of stellar work on her patrols to back up that she’s a good shinigami. Kyouraku also tosses in his vote of confidence, which helps sway public opinion. In fact, without the looming execution deadline speeding things up, Rukia unknowingly gets a grassroots campaign of support from folks like Hana - people who weren’t necessarily friends, but got to know her well enough to see that there’s a kind person under that chilly Kuchiki facade. 

Aizen overplays his hand a little. He suspects Urahara has hidden the Hogyoku in Rukia,or taken her into his confidence over Aizen’s plans. Either way, she needs to die. Except the evidence of her guilt is flimsy and not even the Onmitsukido can track her, which seems like she’s most likely been killed already. People are now growing suspicious of the Central 46. What the hell is going on with them? Why are they focusing so hard on this one case? Yeah, she’s a member of a major noble house, but she’s adopted and not well known; if they want to make an example of her to the houses, they picked a lousy sacrifice.

Aizen is forced to reveal that the Central 46 have all been dead for an untold amount of time, like canon, and tries to frame a captain for it. Dealers choice who he picks. Byakuya, in the midst of the chaos, decides that Rukia should stay in the mortal realm. He, on the other hand, will use his position as captain to spy on Aizen.

(Meanwhile, the twins convince Masaki to adopt Rukia-nee and move her in with the Ishida’s, Uryuu is ~s t r e s s e d~, and Ichigo is mocking him.)

*UraIchi flirting: Obviously the bullying is flirting, everyone knows that. Baby flirting because Ichigo is still 15-16 and Urahara is something like 300 and this is not CLAMP. But also, I imagine lots of quiet moments between the two of them, drinking tea and taking a minute to feel comforted by each other. Ichigo is strong and getting stronger and is good in a way Kisuke has always known people can be but had forgotten some of them actually are. Ichigo gives him hope and support, and instead of reminding Kisuke of what he needs to do, asks him how they can help. Ichigo is still too young - Kisuke wants to see what the kid is like once that amazing brain is finished developing, and it’s hard to properly romance someone when Masaki is right there - but someday, should they both survive and world keep spinning…. Well, Kisuke can imagine several futures with Ichigo, should they want one together. For now, helping them realize their greatness, helping them live, is enough.

For Ichigo’s part, I love late bloomer Ichigo, who’s always had so much going on that the girls/boys/both/neither question gets sidestepped for years. So right now, Ichigo is not really looking at anyone as a partner. But they notice Urahara. Urahara is a friend, but there’s a little flag on his file in Ichigo’s heart that says ‘this is important, come back to this later’. For now, Urahara is smart. So smart. And also a dick bag who arguably manipulated Ichigo’s conception. But you know something? Lots of people are assholes. Many of them are Ichigo’s friends. Urahara stands apart. It’s been a hundred years and while the vizard have been is stasis waiting for their moment to come, and the shinigami have had their heads up their asses, Urahara has never stopped working towards saving the world. Not even if it requires he make a monster of himself. And Ichigo, as one monster to another, respects that. It comforts them, to look at Urahara and see a path where one can be a monster, full of violence and teeth and a hunger for shredded skin and the taste of other people’s regrets, and a good person who protects the weak and loves so much their heart might collapse from the weight of it. If Ichigo looks at Urahara and sees a piece of the future, that’s no ones business but theirs.

Okay, NOW I really am done. If there’s a demand for character headcanons, I can cook some stuff up, but I have no more plot. This bitch empty, somebody yeet me. 

Hope everyone has a kind 2022. May all you fellow writers finish at least one WIP!

[ratsoh-writes]

What would all the boys do if s/o slapped their ass. UuU

Pfff alrighty *cracks knuckles* let’s do this!!

Under the cut for a few of the horn dogs

Sans: he’ll freeze and his eyelights will go out. When you nervously come closer and asks if he’s ok, sans will whirl around and slap your butt in return. Don’t bother chasing him. He’s already shortcutted away lol

Papyrus: he yelps and will be so scandalized lol. How dare you slap his butt! Well you thought he was scandalized. The booty shorts he wore for the next week straight beg to differ lol. Papyrus will be so sad if you never tap the skelebooty again

Star: with no hesitation, he spins around and slaps a good hand print into your butt. Now you two match lol. Couples who tap the butt together stay together.

Honey: he squeaks in surprise and will back up while holding his rear defensively. But he never tells you to stop. Honey tries slapping you back one day but finds it isn’t for him

Red: instant bedroom eyes. Have fun ;)

Edge: he’s also scandalized, but unlike papyrus who’s too shocked to return it, edge will back SO into a corner and grab a VERY generous handful of their own butt. If you wanna play games, he’ll join you. Be warned

Mal: he LOVED that. Man, mal almost asks you to do it again ;)). You find he wears his ecto around you way more often ;))))))

Cash: he does the most obnoxious hentai moan to freak you out lol

Oak: his eyelights don’t go out, but his red eye does shrink as far as it can go lol. After his shock, oak will sheepishly chuckle and give your bum a firm pat if you let him

Willow: his butt is probably shoulder height to most people so he saw you raise your hand in the air first and caught it before your assault lol. When you explain what you were trying to do, he’s so flustered. So much that he runs away lol

Charm: he also moans obnoxiously loud. Then he asks you to do it again for extra emphasis lol

Sugar: you’re about to take your hand off his butt after the slap, when sugar puts his hand over yours to keep it there ;). If you sure gonna slap his booty, at least appreciate it a little better. He works hard on it!

Lord: he also moans. Then covers his mouth in horror. You broke him lol. Lord is unresponsive. Come back tomorrow

Mutt: “lookin’ for some attention there~?” Oh you’re getting your attention. Mutt is gonna a bruise on each cheek for the booty slap ;)

Wine: he casually stops what he’s doing and turns to you with the calmest pleasant smile. RUN.

Coffee: he squeaks in shock then makes this sort of breathy whine growl before chasing you down. You coffee end up roughhousing until either wine yells at you two to knock it off or you start making out lol

Pop: he also yelps in shock and immediately shortcuts lol. Then you hear that familiar crack noise and pop is back furiously pointing at you. “Y-you! You hit me!! You hit my butt!!”

Rhythm: he only gives a sly smirk and keeps doing whatever he was working on lol. You’ll get a casual pinch later on ;)

Pluto: you only hear a soft eep from him. Then he’s sinking into his hoodie. When you get him to come out, his face will be a dark aqua. So dark that his freckles look light in comparison

Jupiter: he sighs a little in exasperation at first but when he sees that the slap was from you, he’ll perk up and nuzzle your cheek or give a kiss in return. Unfortunately a lot of the gym ladies think it’s ok to tap his butt when he’s trying to do reps. The other jocks do a good job at covering him though

G: harder daddy~!! basically G says the most cringeworthy thing he can think of, then laughs at the look of repulsion on your face

Green: he lets out a soft “oh!” And will turn to give you a half chiding half fond look. He’s trying to be annoyed but can’t really get himself there lol

Peaches: if he was eating something, he’s spat it out lol. Peaches will hiss out whatever pet name he calls you in mock horror. Later in the day you find his hand keeps landing on your rear. he wants to slap back but can’t bring himself to. So he settles for it petting.

Rancher: “YOU DO NOT WANT TO START THIS GAME WITH ME DUCKLING~” you really don’t. Rancher can’t exactly slap your butt back as hard as he wants, so find a much more creative way to get revenge lol

Snipe: he LOVED that lol. Snipe will give that mischievous sultry look that only his SO can ever see. He keeps annoying you all evening in hopes of another pat or something more ;))

Bruiser: you can’t do this to him and not expect to get tapped back. It doesn’t matter how fast you run, bruiser will catch you. And he will slap that *ss

Butch: oh honey. You’re getting pinned to a wall. I’m sorry, no exceptions. Right as you start getting really into the kisses, butch stops and leaves you there all high and dry as revenge for the slap lol

Boss: someone needs to be taught a lesson on manners ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You’re gonna be sore the next day lol. That’s all I can say

Ace: he bites his lip (lower jawbone?) at you lol. He might wiggle his butt a bit to entice another slap too. You won’t know if ace is actually flirting or just being a goof until you go for it again lol

Slim: he lets out this breathy little whine and look at you with those hopeful eyes. Slim will be devastated if you walk away afterwards. You can’t just give him that attention then leave him here!!

Rust: like red, you’re getting those bedroom eyes lol. Rust is already reaching for a grope

Noir: he’ll take a seat as if he’s trying to steady himself. When you come over in concern, noir suddenly grabs you and pulls you into his lap ;). Hah! Now that you’re caught face his revenge! (Aka kisses)

Lilac: he’s so exited to slap your butt back lol. You can practically see the sparkles in his eyes. Lilac adores it when his SO is playful with him

Basil: he straightens up in surprise but doesn’t squeak like honey. Instead he stares SO down for an almost comical amount of time before smiling and pulling them into a hug. Then pinching their butt hard enough to make them squeak

[thewriterowl]

Head cannons for Dark Madalor Din meeting farm boy Luke? Or being injured on tatoine and Luke saving him without knowing who he is and then accidentally bringing down a world of consequences

Oh man, him meeting little NH Luke--like a week before the start of everything, seeing this cute puppy who is just about to become a man but he is such a sweet, naive little thing who is so pretty.

He is potentially injured and Luke finds and saves him, he heals him on Din's ship, ensuring he is taken care of, and accidentally takes off his helmet and Din and him are staring at each other openly. Din doesn't care too much because he sees those beautiful eyes and soft face and is all, "mine."

When Din is better Luke is about to leave, pleased the Mandalorian is better but is then thrown against the bunk and tied up. Luke is terrified and confused as he tries to escape but has to watch as the man takes off from Tatooine and all that he has known.

Luke is brought to Mandalore where he is then announced as the king's consort. He is so confused as he is treated like this pet of the people. Everyone adores him, many see him as a deity of sorts, but they don't treat him seriously. He is something precious and cute that needs looked over and loved. No one will help him get back to Tatooine because every time he is like, "please, I want to go home," he is brought right back to Din because that is home.

Din is completely obsessed with Luke. He thinks of him all the time and gets him so many gifts. He forces Luke to marry him publicly so everyone knows who he belongs to. Luke is rarely allowed out on his own. He is either by Din's side or looked up in their palace wing to keep him safe and prevent him from every leaving.

Din knows he kidnapped Luke and that he would try to escape but knows he'll have Luke as his soon.

Then Luke is stolen away by some older man in robes, and has to go save the galaxy, and Din is raging. He is following after, not about to let his beloved leave him. So there are many times the Mandalorians clash with the Empire and the Rebels in order to drag their beloved consort back home.

It ends with the Mandalorians taking over the Empire in revenge for the pain Luke has gone through and now Luke is the prince(ss) of everything much to his horror as Din is now the Emperor of everything.

[madara-fate]

Hey, maddy. I kinda wanna know what you think of this post: https://leportraitducadavre.tumblr.com/post/168085920069/you-talk-a-lot-about-nh-but-what-about-ss

Before you try though I just wanna warn you that it’s really long, I did read all of it and I disagree. Somehow the person making the post is somehow not getting much about it nor SS’ dynamic, like Sakura was someone so selfish who thought only of herself, but then again they are one of those Sasuke Reformist Fans that think Sasuke should’ve destroyed Konoha and one of those extremists that also think Sakura was making fun of orphans, so I don’t really expect much. They were not reading in between the lines like they think they do and constantly downplay SS’ moments like someone who’s in-denial. My personal opinion on Sasuke’s revenge is completely the same as Sakura’s, I understand the justice shit they preach about and I think Sasuke trying to kill Itachi was a right thing but Sasuke’s methods in trying to do so was obviously self-destructive and questionable and I think that’s what most Sasuke fans don’t understand. Back in the Chunin Exams when Kakashi tried fixing or doing something to the Curse Seal that Orochimaru implanted on Sasuke, Kakashi stated that there are chances are he might die if it takes over him, so Kakashi said he’ll stop the fight but Sasuke said not to do it. Sasuke knows he might die and yet he still wants the fight to continue, he’s becoming self-destructive borderline suicidal, Sasuke’s path towards revenge is self-destructive, he thinks his life is all about revenge to the point he doesn’t see value in his life or his needs or wants as a person and that he lives and breaths to kill Itachi and whether he succeeds or not is where his worth lies. That’s why Sakura got worried and ask him to pull out and Naruto scolded him to listen to Sakura, and when he didn’t listen and the Curse Mark took over him he remembered Sakura worrying about him and Naruto scolding him and he was able to suppress it. He started caring about his well- being because there were people who would cry for him if he died, someone who would scold him if he ever gets hurt or does something stupid, he found another reason to live besides giving his life for revenge. We all know Sasuke thought he was spared because he wasn’t worth killing that’s why he’s so adamant to get stronger and yet he met people who valued him and Sakura literally cried for him when he died and didn’t thought he was pathetic for dying like that or something. Yet, some Sasuke fans don’t get it and think Sakura or Naruto just don’t understand Sasuke. They were never against Sasuke killing someone from the very beginning the problem is Sasuke isn’t taking care of himself and as people who care about him obviously they get worried. They focus so much on that justice shit like Sasuke knows if he’ll leave Konoha he’ll be lonely again and their talk about closure, Sasuke managed to kill Itachi but I don’t see a smile or peaceful expression on that face. The thing is that Sasuke decided to sacrifice his happiness for strength because he thinks that Naruto and Sakura are distractions that his precious memories and bonds are distractions, he cares about them deeply but also keeps a distance because he’s afraid. Sasuke knows how it feels to love someone so much and lose them in a blink of an eye and he saw Team 7 like his own family. He left not because he didn’t care, it’s because he cared too much that losing one of them would put him to great grief. They have an affect on him and he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t like that. So he cut them off, the thing is that people think that revenge would bring Sasuke any happiness or any peace of mind, maybe it would’ve if Sasuke decided to stay at Konoha and Team 7 would hunt Itachi together but that’s not what happened. Sasuke would kill Itachi and he still wouldn’t have the happiness and peace of mind his fans hope for him in fact what happened just made Sasuke think that opening yourself to someone would mean weakness Sasuke would end up old and alone, and they always talk about how Konoha killed his clan as if Sakura or Naruto know about that from the beginning and even if they did. Sasuke was healing in Team 7.

Sorry that post is too long and I'm honestly just not willing to read all of that when I'm pretty certain that it won't contain any arguments that I've never seen before.

That being said, I agree with your critique of the post.

[captnjacksparrow]

I just got into the fandom and I love it so much. However, there are parts where I just cringe. I’m going to be completely honest when I say I can’t see SS being a thing, a healthy one at that. A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him. I just... find it utterly bullshit. Hell, even I do ship narusasu, I tried to be open minded and not fall too far off canon or the characters. I don’t understand how Sasuke had those feelings for her when all he did was shown the opposite and it felt genuine. He seem always annoyed and pushes her away. She kept forcing her feelings on him when he makes it clear that he’s not interested. I don’t hate the ship because it’s not my ship but because it’s extremely toxic. It feels one-sided (Sakura’s side) more than anything and it’s makes it hard to believe he had those feelings for her. I mean, on the second episode of season five, she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive. She’s just like every other fangirl expect she’s on his team. I’m trying my best not to hate her but Damn she’s really pushing it. Anything that annoyed me was that she made it seem like they were dating, again making it about herself and her feelings. She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.” I just can’t with this ship. I’m still wondering why the hell is it even a thing? Also find it beyond pitiful how she stayed with Sasuke in Boruto when he left for 12-13 years?! No note. No checking up. Nothing. Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP. If that’s what true love looks like (good thing it’s not), then I’d die single. I can’t be the only one who thinks this ship is just as bad as Harley Quinn x Joker.

First off, Thanks for this lovely ask @larrycherry04 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I've always wanted to write about this and your ask is the perfect timing.

Disclaimer: SS shippers, Sakura fans!!! Don’t read  this post!!

Me being an SNS shipper, I am just going to write this from a non-SNS perspective. Meaning, I am going to consider Naruto and Sasuke are just friends or rivals. 

Bear with my lengthy answer.

Where do I even begin?

A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

I think this rumor is from a light novel called Akatsuki Hiden or whatever shit. But for me, it looks like a pathetic attempt to convince those horny women shippers who would pay any money to read a romance which mirrors their own love life where they desire an ‘unreachable & handsome’ man who has this ‘cool & overbearing’ aura and carries this ‘bad boy badass’ vibe. They would do anything to get the attention from this boy. Until this point is where the reality ends. 

What they really wants to happen and fantasize is somehow that handsome man, one day, will look only them and recognize their love and becomes a ‘soft’ guy who would bring the heavens for them and treats her like a princess. That fantasy led them to buy these novels and believe everything while completely disregarding the canon material. And those novels are aimed at these type of women.

You must have been wondering now, ‘I have seen these type of shit somewhere’!!!!!

That’s right.

50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, Beauty and the Beast, 100′s of K-Drama, C-Drama follow this shit romance trope and it’s regrettably fucking popular. 

In other words, Don’t believe anything apart from the canonic resources. 

Let’s dissect the canon materials about SS.

TEAM 7 

This is how it all started

Does anyone see anything positive here???? 

Well, I am not.

Sakura wanted to impress Sasuke. Since, Naruto always picks fight with Sasuke, she badmouthed Naruto in the hopes that Sasuke will recognize some common ground with her which may develop into a friendship. But she shot her own foot. 

[Regardless, I hated her here and she never redeemed herself, for her being completely insensitive & oblivious towards Sasuke’s life, the boy she loves]

Technically, Sasuke should have said ‘You’re Annoying’ towards Naruto for kissing him before the class and tying him up later. Here, Sakura is simply badmouthing another guy. He, somehow, find this very annoying than anything Naruto did earlier. 

Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

Am definitely not seeing any feelings here.  

ZABUZA ARC

Alright, much later, somehow Sasuke started to integrate into team 7 and started to see them as a Family. No denial here. He started to care about everyone in his team at some point. Which was evident from the way he thought to himself, ‘That was Sakura’s voice... What is Kakashi doing?’

But does it means he hopelessly fell in love with her??? Nope. 

It’s just a team camaraderie where he was worried about his teammate. If he has special feelings towards her, he should have said ‘I must go save Sakura’ or something along the line. 

But, later in that episode, he went on to die for Naruto and even at his dying moments he didn’t think about Sakura or Team 7. It was all about someone else.

Even seconds before falling into Naruto’s arms, Sasuke was smiling with no regrets. 

It was funny very later that after he got up from his temporary death, rather than consoling her like ‘Sakura, Don’t cry. Am alright’ or anything, he was asking ‘Where’s Naruto?’. LOL.

Even much later, when Sakura was asking him about a date, he bluntly said ‘I refuse’.

So, you’re telling me, throughout this arc, a boy blinded with hatred can able to pout, play childish games, train and die for a boy but when it comes to Sakura he can’t show his feelings???

Sorry, I don’t see romance here. Not in this arc.

Whether you agree or not, every parent has their favorite child, every child has their favorite parent. Even within your family, you always have a special person.

For Sasuke, Itachi was that person in his real family. Sakura was not that person in his Team 7 family. It was Naruto.

CHUNIN EXAMS ARC

This arc is where those SS shippers celebrates a lot and I know why. Remember earlier I talked about that shitty 50 Shades of Grey romantic trope??? The following scene vaguely falls under that pattern.

A guy loses his control because of a cursed seal and beats up the guys who hurt one of his teammates which happens to be a girl and calms down after seeing the girl. 

That Infamous back hug. 

I understand why SS people lose their mind with that scene. And I don’t blame them. I am going to throw their own proof at them.

So, this First databook, tells us that he finally sees both Naruto and Sakura as comrades and his heart softens from the path of revenge, a little bit.

Definitely, Sakura’s tears or love towards him stopped his rampage. But nothing says about whether Sasuke loves her back.  

Much later, Sasuke also stops his cursed seal on his own after thinking about worried Sakura and a screaming Naruto (Who don’t know about this seal thingy at that time). 

Well, whatever. That databook has another funny fact, that too in the same page. 

LOL. Weird!!!! This accidental kiss unravels Sasuke’s heart ❤️❤️???? 🤣🤣🤣

So, influencing Sasuke’s heart can be attributed to both his teammates,according to this databook. Atleast upto this arc. There are no special feelings for Sakura alone, guys. 

Proof?

If Sasuke really considers her in a romantic light (this is after that back hug), he doesn’t have to do this at all. Believe me, Love is all about subconsciously or purposefully enjoying or feeling little touches. Those touches can be through eyes, memories or physical. Sakura is delighted with his touch because she loves him but Sasuke just see her as a comrade and keeping his distance but this time very politely.

If Kishi really likes these couple, he doesn’t have to make this scene at all. It’s not just this one instance, he rejected her twice very bluntly before this saying ‘Don’t cling to me!!!’, ‘Sakura, you’re heavy!!!’. 

If you say her back hug is a token of romance, then I can say ‘this’ kiss is also a token of romance. You can’t ignore one while keeping the other.

Anyways, at the end of the arc, Orochimaru is the best judge to identify who can change Sasuke’s heart. And that person is not Sakura.

DEPARTURE

she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive.

You know what, Larry??? You are 1000% right. 

But, atleast, I thought she was genuine in the first part of the proposal, like saying ‘Revenge is not good’.....bla bla.. Because, Revenge will never satisfy a person completely and I agree. Then she took a 180 degree by saying ‘Take me with you, Sasuke-Kun. I’ll make you happy’. This is where I lost it entirely. ‘Alright Bitch, So you really don’t care about his revenge or health. As long as you have the chance to get inside his pants, you are okay with it. So you are okay with Sasuke going to Orochimaru as long as you are with him..... Fucking Shit!!!!’  This is not okay at all. 

How did Sasuke respond?

“Why should I have to tell you anything”

“I’m telling you to keep your nose out of my business”

“Stop bothering me over everything I do”

Ummm..... where I come from, this screams ‘Irritation’ to me. Added to it, throughout the whole conversation he never saw her face. There was evidently no pain or anything from his face. On top the cake, here comes the cherry

“You really are...annoying”

This is where he saw her face throughout that painful confession before knocking her out. Umm... When you love someone or atleast feel for someone, you will look in their eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave. Or atleast show some pain??? There’s visibly nothing from Sasuke’s face. 

Alright, I know what SS wankers will pull out here. That Databook 2 with some vague words. I am going to throw this at them. 

Again, like I acknowledged before, he considers her as a comrade and part of a family. So, her existence also eased his loneliness. But you have to look at the word choice here. “The one that filled his lonely existence was Sakura”. It’s not the ‘Only’ person. Before he left he said ‘Thanks’. Meaning, Thanks for all these days. That’s all between us. 

This piece was about the Team 7 picture. So he acknowledges, he was not alone during his genin days because of his companions and Kakashi (so it’s not just Sakura to ease his loneliness). Whatever he said to Sakura was real. 

So can we safely confirm “You’re annoying” is real????

But what’s really interesting is the way Sasuke projects himself before Naruto. I am going to refrain myself from attaching all those rollercoaster of emotions flowed throughout the fight in VoTE 1. Otherwise, it will become an SNS post. 

However, this particular scene caught my attention.

Ummm.... Initially Sasuke walks without looking at Naruto. Then he looks back and answers him. 

Naruto was pretty much asking the same question as Sakura. “Why does it come to this?”

But Sasuke pauses and surprised for a moment and asks him pretty much “Why do you care about me?”

Why couldn’t Sasuke do the same with Sakura???? Kishi can pretty much make a panel or two rather than making some insulting panels.

Anyways, If they throw the databook, then I can also throw the same.

Alright, can someone explain the highlighted sentence for me???? Because I want to confirm whether I have a blurry vision.

Here, Sasuke is trying to punctuate Naruto as a different person from the rest of his companions. ‘his companions as well as that with Naruto’, I mean, Come on!!!! Naruto is also one of your companions along with Sakura. Why differentiate????

‘The village, companions, Naruto,....’ . Again....He is differentiating his home (village), companions (his friends), and Naruto. So who is Naruto for him? What is the need to make exception for Naruto? It’s very clear he is placing Naruto at a high pedestal for some unknown reasons.

Before this Databook dissection, remember I said something about saying Goodbye, ‘ When you love someone or at least feel for someone, you will look into that person’s eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave‘

Sasuke is doing exactly that here in this scene without saying anything.

Am sorry SS shippers, you can scream all you want about Sasuke knocked her out and left her on the bench. But there was no emotional distraught when he left her. Sasuke seemingly spent a longer time staring at Naruto than looking at Sakura when she confessed. 

OROCHIMARU HIDEOUT

Well, there is nothing I can say about here for SS. He pretty much saw her and said, “Sakura, huh?”.. And that’s all. He didn’t give two shits about her. 

His attention was completely on someone else. 

UNDER THE BRIDGE

She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.”

Naruto pretty much said the same thing in this arc, Larry. Naruto, in part 1, was happy for Sakura feeling the same about Sasuke as him, that is ‘To bring him back’. And also sad that his crush really loves someone else. But after Sakura gave up on Sasuke and faking her confession, Naruto decided, ‘Alright, I want to save him personally. I don’t care about our promise anymore”. 

This is where, SS ship goes into a crazy ride and it’s not a positive one.

Sasuke was on a rampage. He lost the ability to differentiate between his friends and foes. He stabbed Karin. And when he find her alive, he was about to Chidori her. 

And then comes the pink princess, full of lies and deceit. And Sasuke being impatient and disgusted with her lies, he does this

Well, in part 1, she had a degree of power to change his heart. But not here. He, instead, got riled up more and even tried to kill her without a warning and that too by not looking at her face. Pathetic!!!!

This scene screams ‘Trust issues’ from both sides. 

Did it stop here???

Fucking Shit!!!!!! Is there any people who still ship this nonsense?. If you are a Sakura fan, you should hate her for the lack of trust and backstabbing the person she loves, 

If you are a Sasuke fan, errrrmmm.....I have nothing to say. You know what to do. 

There is nothing positive here, that can make me ship them. He is killing her like a Mosquito.

If you truly loved someone in the past, even in your darkest moments, you will be honest and you cannot fake before that person.   

Proof??

Here, Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill his brother, Itachi. He lived for this moment for about 8 years and immersed himself in Darkness for 3 years with Orochimaru. He could have run away, dodge or look away from Itachi. But Sasuke simply couldn’t!!! You know why?? Sasuke loved Itachi once more than anything in this world. At this moment, he is letting all those defense loose and embracing the moment and see what Itachi was about to do. Because somewhere in his heart he trusts Itachi. 

But killing Sakura doesn’t make Sasuke feel anything. She is just another victim like Danzo or Karin or all those Samurais or a fucking mosquito!!!!

So you are telling me that Sasuke had feelings for her but kept it hidden all along and still tried to kill her like a pest???

Give me a fucking break!!!!

And you all know, who changed Sasuke’s heart here in this scene. It was not Sakura. There’s absolutely no reason for Sasuke to listen to that person and what’s more, Sasuke even made a promise (despite being in darkness, he had it in his heart to listen to that person) to destroy Konoha only after killing that person .. 

WAR ARC

Well, this is the arc where Sakura behaves like a rabid dog on heat waiting for Sasuke and shamelessly trying to wag her tails. But Sasuke didn’t give two shits about her, not once or twice but multiple times.

MOMENT 1

An explosion was about to kill the whole shinobi alliance and this dude wants to save Jugo, his companion and Naruto, the person who will challenge his Revolution, his rival and the one whom he wants to kill. Why only Naruto??? Why not Naruto and Sakura???

Pink cherry Queen doesn’t even crossed Sasuke’s mind.  Because he already threw her away in part 1. 

MOMENT 2

Alright Bitch!!! The entire shinobi alliance was dying on the other side of the battlefield. And this asshole is doing a clownshow before Madara just to get inside Sasuke’s pants????

I mean, Come On!!!! 

Well, if Sasuke truly likes her, he should be the one to have catched her or atleast should have asked her, ‘are you alright??’ 

I am sorry, where are the romantic feelings???

MOMENT 3

ROFLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For the first time, Kishimoto is trolling those Sakutards through Sasuke’s words, what we, readers were right about all along. He is calling her useless here. And still these fake feminazis trying to ship her with him???

Don’t you guys have any self respect??? If so, this should be the moment to jump out of this trash ship.

MOMENT 4

Geez!!! You are still on this ship????? 

He clearly doesn’t want to save her at all. The hawk can clearly lift 3 people. Sasuke is not even making an effort here. 

And you are still yapping that he is blinded by darkness??? 

MOMENT 5

This is the moment SS calls it as ‘eyesmex’... While in reality, he was just looking at her and silently thanking her for helping him out. Do you know what is a real ‘eyesmex’??? I will attach it at the end.

If you guys pull this as true love, then he should have stayed in the same love till the end. But Sasuke has other ideas. 

This is the one of the funniest thing in this arc. LOLLLLL

Instead of being relieved that Sakura was saved, Sasuke was wondering about Kakashi’s Susanoo.....and Sharingan. 

Do people still think he cares about her????

MOMENT 6

Am cackling here, while dissecting the sorry state of this ship guys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!! If something good happens to me because of SS , it’s just the way you guys are making me laugh by making a clown out of yourself!!!!

Do you guys know something? There was a man named Itachi. Before massacring his clan, the very first person he killed was his ‘supposed’ Girlfriend, named Izumi. I wouldn’t say Itachi loved her like a lover boy. It was just one sided on her part. He just talks to her when he finds a spare time and considers her a good friend. 

Do you know how he killed her? 

By putting her in a ‘Tsukuyomi’. And what kind of Tsukuyomi, you ask?

Can you see how he fulfilled her dreams gracefully before he was going to kill her???

Why didn’t Sasuke do this???? Why particularly select a murdering genjutsu????

MOMENT 7

He said it, finally.

He don’t love her at all. There was no hidden feelings. He admitted from his own mouth. 

One day later, after the final VoTE battle ends.... After exchanging some intense feelings and even crying tears of happiness with Naruto....

Sasuke tells Sakura, ‘Sorry’....

Ummm.... That’s all???

All those negative shits happened before cannot be solved by just simply saying ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’. If someone has an ounce of self-respect, they should know this is not OKAY at all...🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Am Sorry, but Sasuke was just being politely blunt, kind of insincere towards Sakura and turned his attention somewhere else in a matter of minutes. He was not even bothered by Sakura’s tears here. Instead staring at someone on his left. Remember I talked about touching the person physically and visually?

Sasuke is subconsciously or purposefully touching someone on his left through his eyes. Definitely it’s not Sakura. You know who it is. Remember SStards’ infamous ‘eyesmex’... I seriously believe this is a perfect example of ‘eyesmex’.

All these intense looks and feeling pain still doesn’t serve Sakura, even after pulled out of darkness. If there is a moment, where SS wants to shine, then this is where it should be. He should have told her, how he missed her all along, how he felt about hurting her, should have wiped her tears and some corny shit. But instead, Sasuke went for a long ass monologue for his friend and talking about sharing his pain. 

What about your kween’s pain???? 

You don’t have to ship SNS. But you should know where Sasuke’s priorities are. 

It’s not Sakura. 

Sasuke said ‘Sorry’ to Karin too. ‘Thank you’ to Kakashi as well. 

And what’s even more pathetic is, still Sakura wants to get inside Sasuke’s pants by accompanying him. Bitch, you can help your village, console your best friend Ino who lost her father, try to surpass Tsunade, improve your skills or whatever... Why bother him???

So, if you really think ‘Thank you’ as a token of love, then I can’t help it but term Sakura as a rabid dog who waits for her master to come home and throw some bones whenever he finds time. Your standards for a romantic love is piss poor and you will suffer just like Sakura in Boruto with just emptiness. All Sasuke did was poke her forehead just like Itachi which symbolizes keeping someone at a distance. He also said the same words to her just like Itachi said to him many times ‘Mata kondo da’ meaning ‘Maybe next time’. And we all knew that next time never came for Sasuke. 

Now all we see is a Sasuke as an absentee father in Boruto for which I don’t blame him. He was never a marriage material in the first place. Sakura and the Manga Editors forced him and she is paying for it. 

Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP.

All I want to say to SS shippers is, Your Ship Has Sailed Already. You cannot expect Sasuke to go lovey dovey towards Sakura with a 12 year old daughter around and for fuck’s sake, this is not a romance manga, it’s a battle manga. So stop dreaming about this kind of non-existential romance and pull yourself altogether.

[hezuart]

That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

:3

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

~

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.

[password-door-lock]

Unknown doesn’t really care about you. That’s been his conviction from day one, the truth to which he has clung with a vice grip throughout his acquaintance with you. He doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t care what’s convenient for you, and he doesn’t care about your feelings. He certainly doesn't care that you've been restless all night, waking up at odd intervals to sniffle for a bit before returning to your tossing and turning. He supposes that he does care if you’re able to help him fulfill his plan, though you’ve already thrown a wrench into it once by refusing to enter the code correctly at the apartment. He had no choice but to bring you back to Magenta, which may have been a bad call, but Unknown has about as much patience for surprises as he does for liars— which is to say, none at all— and your inability to listen forced him to make a snap decision on the spot. 

Presently, he's working at his desk, and you’re asleep on the couch, stirring and whining occasionally in what he imagines is discomfort. He wonders if you're experiencing something akin to the nightmares that plague him when he forces himself to rest, but then goes out of his way to dissolve the thought. Unknown doesn’t like to linger on his own pain. Why would he? So instead, he watches you sleep fitfully. After a few minutes of this, you blink awake. You sit up, looking around frantically. “Did you have a bad dream, prince(ss)?” Unknown asks, amused despite himself. You look adorable even in the faint light provided by his monitor, with your eyes wide and your head swiveling comically from side to side.

“No; don't worry,” you reply, “But my throat hurts, and my nose is all stuffed up— I think I might have a cold or something.” That much is obvious from your voice. 

Even so, Unknown’s fingers pause where they are above his keyboard. In fact, his whole body freezes. He’s stiff, unsure of how to handle the situation. If you have a sore throat and a stuffy nose, then you’re almost definitely sick— Unknown doesn’t have time to process all the reasons why he doesn’t like that thought. He only allows himself to acknowledge the fact that it irks him. “You’re sick,” he informs you, trying not to sound nervous. It’s important that he maintains a calm tone in order to maintain his iron grip on the situation. 

You’re already starting to tremble so obviously that he can see it even from his vantage point across the room. What reason do you have to be trembling? Unknown wonders. He’s the one who might get sick as a result of your negligence— he’s been in here with you all night, breathing your air and touching things you’ve also touched. If you’re sick, then there’s a pretty solid chance that Unknown is going to be next— he growls, annoyed at the thought of losing progress with his work for something so pointless. If his head gets foggy with fever, he’ll work a lot slower, which will doubtlessly cause problems for him in his quest for revenge. It pisses him off that this is something over which he has no jurisdiction— you might be at the mercy of his whims, but your illness is not. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. He should feel good that you’re apologizing, taking responsibility; he should enjoy the knowledge that you’re shaking in fear of how he might respond to this latest inconvenience. Yes, you should be sorry, shouldn’t you? You’re the one who brought some bug into the intelligence room, after all. 

But, inexplicably, Unknown does not feel comforted at all. “Don’t waste time apologizing,” he snaps. It’s always grounding to snap at people— it reminds him that he’s in control. Of course, you do that well enough on your own; you make your devotion obvious with every thoughtful gesture and every offhand word. It’s almost cute, the way you bend over backwards for him. 

Before he can tell you what you should start doing in lieu of telling him you’re sorry, you lapse into a prolonged period of violent coughing. “Sorry,” you choke out again once you’re finished. 

“Okay.” Unknown doesn’t even bother telling you not to apologize again. He’s annoyed that you’re sick, but he’s even more annoyed that he has to stop working to help you deal with your emotions. Can’t you handle your feelings on your own? Why would you rely on him for something like this? Wouldn’t it be easier for you to just sulk in the corner without making a peep? But Unknown concedes that in all other cases, your reliance on him is a good thing. It makes you easier to control. 

Maybe this is a necessary sacrifice, he decides, and that’s what’s compelling him to continue this discussion. If he handles your feelings neatly, you might follow his instructions better, and he can spend his time on more important things. If he lets you stew with your strange guilt, especially when you’re trying to recover from a cold, then he’s going to have to deal with it later, when your emotional and physical condition are both significantly worse. Unknown isn’t interested in that. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” You ask, as if he hasn’t already made it clear to you that there isn’t.

Unknown is beside himself. What are you talking about? How could you possibly help him? You can barely carry on a conversation without losing your train of thought in a fit of coughing. “No. You don’t need to worry about that,” he tells you flatly. “Just keep quiet and rest so you get better fast, hm? I don’t want to deal with a sick assistant any longer than I have to.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. Though he doesn’t understand why, Unknown is suddenly very glad that you’re feeling well enough to pester him. “There’s gotta be something I can do.” 

“I just told you what to do,” he reminds you, “So maybe you should start listening before you regret it.” 

“You’re threatening me? Even though I’m sick?” As if your feigned shock wasn’t annoying enough, you take the liberty of pretending to cough into your hand. Of course, this fake cough soon turns into a fit of very genuine coughing— good. It serves you right for trying to mock him. 

“Mhm,” Unknown hums, "Now, why don’t you try to follow directions instead of talking nonsense?” It puts him at ease to play this game with you. He doesn’t have to contend with any emotions he may harbor about the situation if you’re up for a verbal sparring match, and he’d never pass up an opportunity to assert his control. 

“Whatever you say.” You salute him, then sneeze obnoxiously into your elbow. For how long, exactly, is he going to have to deal with this behavior? “What did you want me to do, again?” 

“Now you’re just looking for attention,” Unknown decides. He has no idea why you’re so committed to the idea of working when he’s giving you not simply the license, but the direct order to rest, though it doesn’t really matter. He’s already told you several times that he doesn’t need you to work on anything, and besides, he wants you to feel better. But that makes sense— of course he would want his assistant to be functioning normally. His motivations are entirely justifiable. “Go lay back down and don’t bother me again.”

“Okay, okay,” you hold up your hands and gaze at him with adoration. “I get it! You don’t want me to work! Who are you and what have you done with Unknown?” He just glares at you, waiting for you to finish giggling at your own joke. “But, sure, whatever, I’ll try to rest. Feel free to wake me up if you need something, though. I want to help you if I can.” 

Unknown rolls his eyes. He’s glad to have such a loyal assistant, but you seriously need to stop challenging his authority like this. “I’m not going to tell you again,” he warns. 

“I said okay! Look, here I am resting.” After another prolonged coughing fit, you make a big show of laying back down on the couch and closing your eyes— and if Unknown finds himself smirking a little at your fake snoring noises, that’s none of anybody’s business.

[mc-critical]

One of my most favourite confrontations between Mahidevran and Hürrem in the series is the one after Mahidevran sent Olga to Süleiman in episode 61. It's both fun, yet filled with meaningful character dialogue, managing to successfully deliver a thematic message that eventually finds its retroactive way, despite of it all seeming like a yet another smackdown fest by Hürrem at first.

The scene begins with their typical confrontational energy, the rivalry chemistry immediately paves its way forward. Hürrem is ready to face her for what she did and Mahidevran, while not being interested at first, goes with her flow regardless, setting the mood for what follows.

Hürrem: You've sent a concubine to his majesty.

Mahidevran: I'm replacing Valide. Pleasing his majesty is one of my duties.

Hürrem: Let God not give you other worries. Do you want to cover the lack of your femininity this way?

Mahidevran seems very engrained in her role as the head of the harem and connects it with her own desire to take revenge for her wounded pride and for all the pain they caused her. The first excuse she finds for sending Olga to SS refered to the rules and tradition that give her that right, but we know by context that there's something else going on, this was both a move driven by her vendetta and a provoked move - she decided to do this after Hü told her she's the one ruling the privy chamber and perhaps Mahidevran accepted it as a challenge to her power, because, honestly, I doubt she would've attempted such a thing if she weren't provoked like this. Hürrem, on the other hand, gives her own "interpretation" as to why Mahidevran took action. To be blunt, it sits wrong with me right from the start, because it demonstrates a huge amount of internalized mysoginy on full display and it's sad, in a way, that this is what the system encourages at the moment - you're nothing if you sleep alone in your bed, if you don't have the sultan's back. There's a glimmer of possibility Hürrem said it only to render Mahidevran vulnerable and one could understand where she comes from, since she has experienced quite a lot of similar offenses from that same person. And when a confrontation of the like occurs, her first instinct is to think of a comeback, to pull rank and highlight why she's better than her like she does in all their encounters in this batch of episodes. That hardly excuses or whitewashes this statement, though, because for a person who has been shown to fight the system and call out prejudice (even though it was mostly only she was subjected to it or it was about something that concerned her specifically), seeing that she had absorbed some of it and applies it without a second thought leaves a sour taste for me.

Mahidevran: Worry about your own problems, Hürrem. Did you really think his majesty couldn't be with other women?

Hürrem: This is impossible.

Two major beliefs of Mahidevran and Hürrem's characters come on the surface: they drive the dialogue and help the rest of the scene unfold the way it did. Mahidevran brushes off Hürrem's last statement and brings back tradition to the forefront, which begins to highlight a belief of hers that she shared with Valide, that there is a constant cycle in the harem that no one, not even Hürrem, is capable to entirely break. To Hürrem it's impossible for SS to ever have other women at this point, it's something unthinkable for her already. She feels she has fully broken that cycle.

This scene, unlike the confrontation in episode 58, has well done retroactive irony while serving the context of the episode it's in in a plausible enough way that doesn't seem showed in just for the sake of it. The context of the episode puts Hürrem in the right by showing Olga returning from SS's chambers almost immediately after Hürrem says: "This is impossible." and it's the place where this plot-line transitions to another one, leaving the rest of the confrontation to hang in the balance for a while. Maybe SS had truly given up taking other women ever since the wedding, as shown by this and SS refusing another concubine sent by Valide in the wedding episode.

However, we know that this stops being the case later on and whether it's through the decision to bring in yet another drama tool, yet another annoying stretched narrative opposition in the face of the concubine arcs, it's a fact and we could say that this scene ends up being a good enough framework to set us up for it, intentionally or not.

Mahidevran: Then why is there a concubine in his chamber?

Hürrem: What concubine? Maybe that one?

This, to me, is a demonstration of how the tables can turn in the harem at literally any moment. Meryem Uzerli's little amazing, subtle facial expression says it all. When Mahidevran asks the question, we see for a very split second that Hürrem's wondering how to refute her until the concubine appears in the heat of the argument due to sheer luck. Like, if she had already returned to her rooms before the scene occurred, it would've gone much differently! This isn't all that important here, but I love how Meryem showed a slight probability for Hürrem to lose the argument, which contrasts with all her confident remarks before and after this moment. It's just very neat stuff.

Hürrem: Many girls were introduced to his majesty. Among them, there was even a princess. Where are they now? Look around you. You will not see anyone but me.

Speaking of confident remarks, there comes another one of Hürrem's that no matter how many concubines came, they all went and now there is no one other than her. This line further sets a consistent trend of ambiguity, because she's right in the context of the episode and it encapsulates the resolution of these particular plot-lines of Hürrem and Süleiman in the season and we can get behind her words overall both in the arc and in rewatch, in spite of the retroactive irony, but she's wrong in that it's the end of her harem fights, very far from it, as season 3 and season 4 prove. She hasn't completely won yet, even though she sets the impression that she has.

What I also find interesting in this scene is the back and forth throwing of past - present - future between the two sides. They make a perfect showcase of what these characters represent, their states, their losses, their desires, their hopes, dreams and philosophies. Here, in example, Hürrem makes a reference to a part of her obstacles in the past, acknowledging that they were there regardless, but then she immediately goes back to the present with "Where are they now?". Nowhere in the scene she considered the possibilities of the future, the sheer probability that it all may change one day (as it happened, in many ways, through Firuze), focusing on the currently undeniable truth the present day presents.

That same throwing back and forth continues, but with another note which instantly places the two women against each other again:

Mahidevran: I was also loved once, Hürrem. Mustafa is the fruit of that love. Ask Gülfem Hatun if you want. She will tell you how much she suffered because of me.

Hürrem: You always tell this story.

Unlike Hürrem, who only references the past, Mahidevran laments it and takes pride in it, it being the highlight of her once beautiful life. But we know what went down afterwards, adding in the possibility that maybe, it would all be temporary and what one may have now, may change, because Mahidevran was also in Hürrem's position once. Hürrem however, calls out her fixation on the past, in a similar fashion to how she has done it before (E59: "Are you being proud of your past now? Let me remind you: You're still a slave."), what she had doesn't matter, it's the now that is important to Hürrem, which is a solid thematic note to her character arc.

Though, we have this line of dialogue in response:

We here notice that no matter how long it took for them to do it, Mahidevran and Hürrem actually had parallel arcs, in terms of letting go of the past. This line makes for such a striking revelation of Mahidevran's emotional state from her perspective that only continued what episode 46 hinted at and episode 55 directly started. (E55: "I ripped out the love I had of your father of my heart, I threw it into the sea! He doesn't matter to me anymore. Now you are the only one in my heart.") It's rather surprising that she says these words now - Mahidevran's rule of the harem is arguably her at her worst, doing what she does out of the last ounces of her wanting payback for the sad, bitter years. It's precisely what she lost that motivated her, that was a sure part of the reason she sent Olga to SS and yet, we have that honest confession, that grasp of acceptance. Mahidevran's battle with SS was lost very early on and it took her very slow and gradual development for her to accept it and by E61, she was doing the last steps to do so. She tries hard to convince Hürrem that no matter how hard she tries, there is a cycle in this harem that cannot be changed, Mahidevran has come to terms with it, so Hürrem has to do the same. In a way, she was probably trying to say that they both have been fighting a losing battle and she expresses a small amount of sympathy over it, too - she knows what it's like and it's hard, but it's like some unwritten law that it's not worth it in the end and that everyone gets affected by it, without exception. That's how she begins to look upon her present and show a hint of the future.

Out of the particular context, this line could be a very nice stronger endorsement of the franchise's themes, because, truly, no one ever got a good, triumphant, heroic ending. And it was like a cycle: everyone had to face the feelings of sorrow, grief and loss, everyone had to suffer in this time period, everyone dies. Gülfem called Hürrem's life a fairy tale in E134, but that "fairy tale" came to an end after her death. And if we leave that aside, there is hardly a breather episode even for the biggest of victories, no matter how many victories you've won, they would always "have their end", the narrative would always condemn them one way or another.

Mahidevran: One day a woman will appear and would destroy your indestructible love!

The future is finally put on the front with the scene overall and with Mahidevran herself. It's a continuation of her belief that Hürrem would be "detroned", regardless of all. Thing is, she also doesn't consider her own future, only the one of her rival's. She believes in her own victory that is opposed in the present, but would surely come in the future, a belief she holds until the end of the series. Even though I doubt the writers planned Firuze's existence right back then per say, this line sounds like such foreshadowing to her in retrospect, which makes Mahidevran both right and wrong with this quote. Firuze caused an actual continuous rift between Hürrem and Süleiman, making her doubt his love in ways she hadn't before. Nazenin comes into the picture, as well. But no one truly succeeds to properly destroy the love between Süleiman and Hürrem and they managed to prevail, despite of all the narrative opposition. She still stayed the most dear woman to SS's heart, no matter what. There is a slight possibility of Mahidevran judging the situation one hundred percent to herself here, claiming rather that the appearance of another woman would make Hürrem fall out of love with SS and destroy that, instead, just like it was with her, but since Mahidevran called the same line back during the Firuze episodes, I think she was referring to the rift Firuze would cause and how would Hü fall deeper and deeper.

Hürrem: Mahidevran, don't think of me as your equal.

This line is very telling in that Hürrem considers herself different than everyone else. It has always been a part of her character, perhaps a running reminder of her unprecedented elevation in the system she's telling us about through words. And most of the interpretations I've encountered of this line are exactly this: it is epic, badass, it is delivered in such a shading sassy way that could only be respected or applauded. However, it is just as possible for this infamous one-liner to be presented as the culmination of not only her persistent insistence to assert herself as different and special, but her continuous unwillingness to be compared to anyone else in the harem. And usually she's compared to guess who? Mahidevran. She doesn't want to even think of the possibility to be compared with her by this point (starting from E40 where after she was freed, she said: "Now I'm not equal to you." right to Mahidevran's face and continuing forward into S03 with: "I told you not to compare me to others, to Mahidevran never!" -it was something like that), but at first, which is now probably buried deep within, she feared becoming like Mahidevran. She repeated "I'm not Mahidevran!" when she was out of favor like with the Russian concubines, Mahidevran's words that she would make the same mistakes she did echoed in her head during the Isabella arc in episode 31 and earlier had a nightmare of Süleiman giving the emerald ring to Mahidevran instead of Hürrem in a completely parallel scene. (there's also the other nightmare where Mahidevran was taunting Hürrem to tell her about Leo.) Hürrem dreaded all of those things happening and tried her very best to avoid the very thoughts of it. Now, in a season nearly full of victories in her part, she had gained the belief that whatever happens, she'll always stand above the others. She wants to give off the vibe that no one would ever stop her. She has broken so many traditions and the narrative is currently rooted at her favor, all well and good, right? This line could be a mask, in a way, hiding the fear of being rejected just like the others (that doesn't completely disappear, seeing her suicide attempt in E72; also E106's menopause plot.) and striving to leave it behind her, now reaching its peak by putting not only Mahidevran, but the rest of the women into the picture, without a second of realization of the implications it causes, because well, who else was given such special attention by the Sultan? Who else was freed, who else had such a marriage, who else got out of death's door so many times, who else overcame everything, who else had a chance to "rain as fire" over all her enemies? Even though the quote applies on a much grander scale in execution, in later seasons and the way it got called back to in MCK, I feel, in this particular context, it refers to the harem and Süleiman specifically - his majesty doesn't need any other women, there is no such woman that could take away what Hürrem has and even if they stand together, they wouldn't stand a chance, because Hürrem is that massive and powerful.

The retroactive irony hits hard and here: she's right in the events of this particular episode, but the subsequent events definetly tell a different story. Hürrem's influence and power is acknowledged, especially in her last episodes, but that she's the only one capable of having such power is not necessarily true, given the existence of the SOW, some members of which reached more highs than she did, due to the evolving extent of power they could exercise in the system.

Mahidevran: Your arrogance will end you, Hürrem! One day when you're suffering in pain, I'll remind you this!

Hürrem: Mahidevran, you're not here anymore. You'll be leaving soon!

Mahidevran: You're not powerful enough for that!

The focus on the present and future is back with this quick, but substantial exchange. Mahidevran seems to count completely on what will happen in the future in the first line, while Hürrem accounts for both the present and the future, seemingly in accordance, and Mahidevran brings the confrontation back to the present, for what Hürrem talks about is currently unattainable. These lines look like a brief summary of what was established before about the beliefs of both characters: they both desire the end of one another - for Mahidevran it would happen eventually, because Hürrem would end herself in her eyes and Mahidevran would live for this moment and even witness it (and while she didn't witness it exactly, she lived and outlived them all, because there would be no death for her until they get what they deserve, a belief that carries on the strongest in season 4); for Hürrem it has already happened, but it would keep going, fueling her will to get rid of all her enemies and being in conjunction with the ongoing plot arc itself, for her attacking her enemies in all fronts in ways she hadn't before. The last line of Mahidevran's stops the dialogue between both of them for good (followed by Hürrem's smug grin), resting back on her current position, that is also how her whole set of dialogue began in the first place. Even though there was a hint of realization that she has been fighting a losing battle a while before, the part of hers that would prefer not going to the sanjack than give up now, is directly reflected on. It sets more of a parallel between how both of them are, because Mahidevran told Hürrem that arrogance would end her a few seconds ago, but now she's the one that demonstrates this same arrogance herself, starting to underestimate her own opponents yet again, simply because she rules the harem. Claiming that Hürrem doesn't have the power to send her to the sanjack by force, is true, actually, because Ibrahim interfered at the last moment, but this way Mahidevran seems to brush off Hürrem's victories completely, somehow convincing herself that she's forgotten how far has Hürrem gone and just like her rival, thinking of herself as unstoppable. (that goes on the season finale, too, where she says: "If you're powerful enough, face me by yourself!".) This attitude more or less cemented her downfall in this arc, as it would cement major flaws of Hürrem's in the future.

And then they're stopped by... Süleiman himself and I love that, because they have to stop because he comes, they have to stop because he's watching them and give him the necessary respect. Symbolically, it could be a showcase of him being the decider of everyone's fates and them having to accept his will at the end of the day.

And after he leaves, of course, Hürrem and Mahidevran prepare to carry on with their bickering, as they usually do. While that's the end of the whole confrontation, their expressions tell us it's not over yet.

It's particularly interesting, even as a confrontational scene alone: it's longer than many of the confrontational scenes between them, it speaks more volumes about the opposing sides than any other of the kind has dreamed to. While I love Mahidevran and Hürrem's chemistry, I wish there were more scenes like this one, more nuanced interactions than vitriol and constant, almost formulaic smackdowns. Because, to me, this whole confrontation, while simple at hindsight, raised the bar to what could we have had. The rivalry of the two ladies is fascinating on a thematic level and not exploring its depth further, would be a myriad of wasted opportunities.

This scene did right all you could think of: composition, soundtrack, attention to detail, chemistry, dialogue and opposing two sides on a respectful, unbiased, while narratively provoked, way. I adore the way it aged: as I said, it created a perfect blend between context of the episode/plot arc and retroactive irony and the mix of cause and effect of soapy intrigues, character exploration through lines and all the coming thematic stuff, while being filled with dynamic and fun energy. And it's absolutely sublime for it.

[valeriethepussycats]

Bad Day

Pairing- Dean x Black Reader, Sam x Reader( Best friends)

A/n- this takes place in season two this may or may not follow the storyline but these are little moments.

Sam looks down at the mangled car with mixed emotions.

“Oh man, Dean is gonna be pissed.” Sam proclaimed.

“Look, Sam. This... this just ain't worth a tow. I say we empty the trunk, sell the rest for scrap.” Bobby stated.

“No. Dean would kill me if we did that. When he gets better he's gonna want to fix this.” Sam explained.

“There's nothing to fix. The frame's a pretzel, and the engine's ruined. There's barely any parts worth salvaging.” Bobby stressed.

“Listen to me, Bobby. If there's only one working part, that's enough. We're not just going to give up on...”

“Okay.” Bobby said quietly. “You got it. There’s this person I know who can give me some parts. I’ll call her.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Sam said sincerely as he  walks away.

Bobby pulls out his phone to call an “old” friend.

“Hey Y/n, it’s me Bobby.”  

“Hey what’s up.”

“Nothing much...say do you have any parts for a 1967 Chevrolet Impala?” Bobby asked.

“Ummmm I think so I will have to check inventory and get back with you. Taking on a another project?” Y/n questioned as she get from up under a car.

“Nah. Its for a friend of mine.” Bobby answered.

“Ok. I’ll check.” Y/n replied

“Thanks Y/n.”

“No prob Bob.” Y/n said hanging up the phone and rolling back of one of the car.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

It’s been one week since John died and all Dean wanted to do is fix on baby. Bobby had got him some parts a couple of days ago and ever since then he’s been working on her day ‘n’ night. So when Sam walked out outside to his surprised Dean was underneath his car working on it, only his legs sticking out. It is little more than a rusted frame, but it looks considerably less crunched than last time.

“How's the car coming along?” Sam asked as he walks up to Dean.

“Slow.” Dean replied duly.

“Yeah? Need any help?” Sam wondered.

Dean drops something heavily. “What, you under a hood? I'll pass.”

“Need anything else, then?”  

Dean pushes himself out from under the car and stands up. “Stop it, Sam.”

“Stop what?” Sam questioned.

“Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm okay. I'm okay. Really. I promise. “ Dean snapped.

“All right, Dean, it's just... We've been at Bobby's for over a week now and you haven't brought up Dad once. “ Sam pointed out.

“You know what? You're right. Come here. I'm gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance. “ Dean said sarcastically.

“Don’t patronize me, Dean, Dad is dead. The Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all of this, and you're acting like nothing happened.” Sam declared.

“What do you want me to say?” Dean lilted.

“Say something, all right? Hell, say anything! Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day and all night long buried underneath this damn car. “ Sam shouted.

“Revenge, huh?” Dean wondered.

“Yeah.”

“Sounds good. You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? Because I sure ain't. But you know, if we do finally find it - oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt's gone. But I'm sure you've figured out another way to kill it. We've got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So you know the only thing I can do? Is I can work on the car.”

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

“You wanna try  to find the colt?” Bobby asked.

“I need to do something. I just can’t just sit here and do nothing anymore.” Sam Expressed.

“Ok.” Bobby said as he walk out the kitchen.

“Ok?” Sam repeated.

“Ok as in ok I’ll help

“You can help? Why didn’t you say sooner?”

“You boys need to grieve....but there is a person who could help.” Bobby stated.

“Really?”

“Ya. There’s a body shop on the other side of town called Carter’s ask for Y/n.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Sam said as he walks out the house to Dean who is still under his car. “Bobby gave us another hunter in town. Someone who knows about finding the colt.”

“Then let’s go.” Dean said as he come up from up under his car. “You think it’s ok if we borrow one of Bobby’s cars.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem.” Sam said as he walks up to a yellow bug.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

At Carter’s body shop,Y/n is walking downstairs with her headphones around her neck and greasy overalls and her least favorite shirt on it was a regular day except the sun was shining more so then ever. When she finally made it to the garage she see Jimmy on the phone.

“Do we have an customer?” Y/n asked as she sat down across from him.

“No, it grandma Melanie she was wondering if she could bring us one of her apple turnovers.” Jimmy replied.

“Yes I love love one grandma.” Y/n proclaimed. “Do we got anyone coming in today?”

Jimmy holds the phone with his shoulder then picks up the clipboard and looks through the pages. “No appointments today.”

“Ok you can have the day off but I still want my apple turnover.” Y/n declared.

“Ok thanks Riley.” Jimmy said with a smile.

Riley nods her head then side  her headphones on then walks over to her car to starts changing the oil.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Dean is driving down the street in a beat up Volkswagen bug. Oh how he miss baby. Every time he would stop at a stop sign the car would shut down. Let’s just say it not been the best day ever. He just hope the get some information.

“What do you know about this Riley person?” Dean asked as Sam.

“Not much that there good with maps.” Sam told Dean. “There right there Carter’s.”

Dean pulls into the body shop and before he can turn the car off it’s stops on its own.

“Really!?” Dean exclaimed.

Sam laughs at Dean and his struggle with the car. Dean gets out the car.

“Are you going to fight with a car?” Sam questioned as he gets out the car and starts on walk up to the entrance of the body shop. Dean walks over towards the garage when he sees a certain type of car.

“Sam! Sam! Come over here it’s an ss it’s  blue and shine.” Dean said with a goofy grin on his face.

Dean walks over to the driver side and gets in the car and stars to feel around the car.

“Dean get out you don’t know who’s car that is.” Sam stressed.

“Sam I’ve only been in one ss and it was Bobby’s and you seen how beat up his is....this one has been taken care of- “ Dean started.

“And it’s on a jack.” Sam stated.

“What!?!”

Sam looks around the front of the car. “Someone is under the car Dean!!” Sam yelled.

Just as soon as Y/n  is coming out of under her car the jack brakes and the car drops to the ground.

“What the hell!!?!” Y/n shouted.

Y/n gets up and see Sam standing next to passenger side of her car and Dean in the Driver’s seat he get out the car

“Sorry.” Dean whispered but Y/n heard him loud and clear.

“You almost killed me and you think a ‘sorry’ is good enough.” Y/n barked.

Dean- to be fair I didn’t know anyone was under there

Y/n clenched her jaw. “Oh you son of a bitch.”

Y/n is about to give Dean a piece of her mind when Sam steps in front of her. “I’m sorry my brother loves car and he saw this one and couldn’t control himself. I’m Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean.”  

“We’re here looking for someone you might know.” Dean commented.”

“I’m not talking to you I’m taking to him.” Y/n snapped giving Dean a sideways glare.

“Do you know where Y/n is?” Sam asked trying to Break the tension.

“Well if it wasn’t for her good instincts she would have been flatted I’m Y/n.”

“We was send by Bobby. We was wondering if you could help us with something?”  Sam asked.”

“Sure.” Y/n answered with a smile at Sam then she turns and looks at Dean and it quickly her face drops to hatred. “Get in my car again I’ll brake both your hands.” Y/n said with a wicked smile at Dean. “What can I help youwith?”

“So you’re not going to acknowledge me I said sorry.” Dean remarked.

“You almost killed me with my car hell no I’m not going to acknowledge you.” Y/n replied angry.”

“I was told you’re one to get help on this.” Sam said as he hands Y/n a drawing

“Your trying to fine colt or build one at least.” Y/n  observed as she looked at the drawing.

“Wait..you can build a colt. I thought it was a special gun?” Dean wondered.

“Sam I have  maps and other stuff in my apartment upstairs about the colt if you need them I can show you them.” Y/n explained.

“um yes thank you.” Sam said grateful.

“Well come on upstairs let’s get out of the cold.” Y/n remarked.

Sam follows Riley upstairs and as Dean try to follow he gets the door closed in his face. “Hey I’m still out here!” Dean emitted.

“Really I didn’t  notice.” Y/n said sarcastically.

“Look I’m sorry for almost killing you with your car.....I honestly didn’t know you were under there.”  Dean said truthfully.

Y/n looks at Dean with a lopsided grimace. “You look sincere....fine you can come in.”

Dean walks inside the shop and they all walk upstairs to Riley’s apartments.

“Make yourself at home Sam I’ll go get everything I have on the colt.” Y/n said as she walks off.

Dean looks around Riley’s apartment and see all the albums classic rock,Rnb,pop,soul,rap and even some Beethoven and Morzt.

“And I thought I liked music.” Dean mumbled under his breath.

“It’s kind of cool.” Sam stated.

“You really like your music uh....is that AC/DC.” Dean shouted to Y/n.

“Oh so he is more then just a petty face.” Y/n shouted from the other room.

“You think I’m petty?” Dean wondered.

“Ya petty....ugly.” Y/n laughed.

“Ha ha ha laugh all you want that joke wasn’t even that funny.” Dean said as he sides the AC/DC cassette tape in his pocket.

“Your just saying that because your the but end of the joke.” Sam grinned.

Riley laughs and walks back over to Sam and place a suitcase on the table in front of him.“I was doing research on the colt and found this in my granddaddy’s storage. I guess he was looking for it or he was going to build one.”

“You can really build a colt?” Dean asked again hoping to get a answer this time.

“Ya you just need the right equipment but the  bullets got to be made out of a Phoenix or it’ll be just a regular gun.” Y/n told Dean.

“Phoenix? Like the bird.” Dean asked.

“No the monster...there’s like only three left in America. I can get you more information on it if you like and if I run into any dead end I know a guy.” Y/n explained.

“Yes that would be great thank you...um how will we contact you?” Sam wondered.

Y/n writes down her number on a scrap piece of paper then hands it to Sam. If you can’t reach me I’ll just go though Bobby that’s who sent you over here right.” Y/n specified.

“Ya.”

“Great I see Bobby every other day so I might catch ya and if I don’t I’ll just leave with him.” Y/n told Sam and Dean.

Tbc

Ps. I’m gonna title all my supernatural stories with name of the song (for the ones that has ‘TBC’ their names will be titled after songs I like from that year and The Random fics will be Random songs).

[sweetescapeartist]

MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 72 REVIEW... 😒

Hey there... Here comes the review.

Imma start like this and use language some ppl may find offensive. Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah are retarded. Now that that's out of the way, time to dissect this "Dragon Ball Super coloring book."

Goku & Vegeta land on the planet & its peaceful. How are they not immediately suspicious? They see that the planet isn't in danger & no death. Its obvious they need to ask a question to figure out what lies they've been told.

I was gonna say its dumb for Granolah to be able to supress his ki because it seems only Earthling have that kind of spiritual understanding. But Namekians have that spiritual understanding too so maybe Monaito taught Granolah how to suppress his ki.

I lost interest in the Heeters' past. You can only tease me so long until I stop caring. At least mention something like Freeza almost killed Gas on planet Cereal so now that's why Gas keeps trying to get stronger. There's so little info about "important" stuff that's supposed to be important. Give readers a tease, hint, a different hint, some valuable info, then another hint, then a reaveal (or something similar!) Instead its tease, hint, tease, tease, hint, tease...

In all honesty, the chapter didn't even need that page with Gas & Elec. When Maki said Gas & Elec are coming, that was all we needed to know. Then we anticipate their arrival in the next chapter. Showing them is a waste of time & they add no real purpose to the chapter. That was just a waste of ink.

Also I'm bored of Gas now. He only looks interesting but does nothing. 👎

Granolah shoots at Goku & Vegeta. Base Goku closes his eyes to use UI (UI Omen?) while Vegeta goes SS. Base Goku dodges easier than Vegeta. Goku is leagues beyond Vegeta.

A better way to have Goku & Vegeta encounter Granolah would be for him to snipe at them right when they get off the ship. Granolah wanted to kill them so bad so why wait for them?

Somehow they go towards Granolah but he's too fast for them & they lose him. They can't sense him firing ki for some reason. Idk why Goku didn't use Instant Transmission when Granolah shot ki at them?

I don't get why Goku closes his eyes either. Its as if Goku can't use UI now unless his eyes are closed but that wasn't the case before. Eyes were opend when using UI Omen & Mastered UI. Toyo could have conveyed that better but instead he's making Goku close his eyes like how Roshi covered his eyes when fighting those prisoner women because their beauty distracted him. Is Goku distracted by Granolah's beauty or something?

Wait a sec... I gotta backtrack real quick. Goku used the Ultra Instinct technique in his base & didn't go into Ultra Instinct Omen? But thats him using it in base right? Oh boy... This is about to get dumb...

Ultra Idiot Goku & Super Stupid Vegeta are surprised that the guy having the title of "strongest in the universe" is capable of moving faster than them when they aren't at full power. Such genius writing.

Goku gets shot in the neck... & it knocks him out... Ok. But later Granolah comments on how Goku's body moves on it's own before Goku can even process an attacks. Not to mention Goku & Whis have said the same thing. Goku should be untouchable at this point, but for some reason he is not.

So, Vegeta takes a senzu bean from his "training bra" and gives it to Goku. For some reason they decided to only take 2 senzu when knowing they would fight a guy possibly stronger than them. Stupid monkeys.🐒 (I'm starting to sound like Freeza now)

How did unconscious Goku eat a senzu? Yaoi fans would had loved it if Vegeta chewed the senzu up for Goku and fed it to him. Sorry, it just reminded me of Trunks spitting senzu mush into Mai's mouth since she was unconscious.

Then we have this dialogue from "sensei" Vegeta, The Ultra Instinct Expert...

"You rely on Ultra Instinct too much! If you haven't perfected it yet, then dodge using your mind!" - Vegeta

"Yeah, you're right..." - Goku

"WTF Toyotaro!" - DB Meta

... I'm unsure who is the stupid one in this situation. Is it Goku or Vegeta? It could be Vegeta because UI is the ultimate technique that allows you to move without thinking. But Vegeta says that because Goku hasn't perfected Ultra Inst-...

...

...

Sorry, I had to restart my brain...

Didn't... didn't Goku master Ultra Instinct? Silver hair? Silver eyes? MASTERED/PERFECTED ULTRA INSTINCT? Before that, Goku perfected Ultra Instinct Omen & could go in it at will... So, Goku is listening to Vegeta tell him he hasn't mastered UI? But both know that Goku did master UI? What does Vegeta know? Vegeta can't even use UI.

I almost stopped reading the rest of the colouring book when I got to that dialogue.

Also, Granolah wants to kill Saiyans, so why is he holding back and not hitting them with deadly attacks. He only needs one alive anyways. He said so himself.

At least there was a good pose Goku was in. The art looked nice there.

Now here's another place I almost quit reading. Granolah apparently has all the abilities of Goku & Vegeta. Hack writing. Sounds like a Moro, 7-3, & Cell copy cat. Toyo just cant leave the Cell saga alone.

Granolah is bumping his gums & rattling his tongue (old slang for "talking a lot") but when Vegeta asks if Granolah holds a grudge against Saiyans, Granolah suddenly says that's enough talking. He responded to them 3 times & spoke like 5 sentences to them. If you're gonna chat then chat. If you hate Saiyans then don't say anything to them & try to kill them. Dummy.

Granolah uses Hakai. But aparently he's not using Hakai or Instant Transmission. Its just "similar." Sure. Confirms that he has been using something similar to UI in previous chapters too.

Granolah says they're stronger than expected because they escaped into the air. Escape doesn't equal strenght. Mai escaped Goku Black, doesn't mean she's extremely strong.

But seriously, Vegeta saying he's gonna prove his training is better than Goku is stupid. He wants to prove he is better than Goku yet he tells Goku to fight first (that's beta). It's as if he isn't confident & wants Goku to wear Granolah out first, so he can come in and look impressive. Kinda like in RoF after Freeza was tired from fighting Goku & Vegeta wasn't tired at all & he easily beat Freeza up. Looked cool, but actually wasn't too impressive.

Granolah saying that he's gonna shoot them if they don't fight him is ridiculous. Why is he showing mercy to the tribe that didn't show his ppl mercy? Why give chances to the ppl you wanted revenge on for years? Realistically he would just start blasting at them.

Unecessary dialogue from Vegeta talking to himself about how he needs to learn who Granolah is. Show don't tell Toyo.

Why is Granolah waiting for the Oozaru form? Maybe he wants to kill them in that form? What about revenge? Just kill them.

Goku screamed to power up from SS to SSG. That's possibly dumb, but I gotta let at least 1 thing slide this chapter.

Why did Granolah let them power up? So unlike what we've been shown what Granolah is like. Why would he want to give "murderers" of his entire race a fair chance to fight him?

Next, Goku doesn't try to explain he isn't savage like other Saiyans when Granolah accuses his kind of being so. Instead Goku just agrees & says "Oh... Yeah." I guess he really just wants to fight. I can't tell if this is OOC or just magnifying a Saiyan flaw of Goku just to push the story along. Idk. I'm losing brain cells reading this chapter.

Granolah's fighting stance is cool. Hey, look. I said a nice thing. (But why is he doing close combat when being a sniper us his specialty?)

So, Goku uses UI in SSG form... Bruh, is Ultra Instinct a technique, a state of mind, or a transformation? I'll tell you what it is. ULTRA INSTINCT IS A PLOT DEVICE! It does whatever Toyotaro decides at the moment. So freaking inconsistent... 😓😒

Ultra Instinct becomes more accurate when in conjunction with a SS form?! How tho? I thought it was just a goldy technique that needed a clear mind and control or whatever. Or is UI a transformation like Toyo stated many times in previous chapters, while also calling UI a technique? How can mixing a godly "technique" with a SS form enhance it better than Goku simply using UI Omen? It doesnt! Vegeta, you can just shut up! Every time you talk about UI, you've been wrong! It should be illegal impersonating an UI Expert.

Goku is using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form against Granolah.

UI Omen is Goku using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form.

Goku uses Ultra Instinct technique in the Super Saiyan God transformation.

Mastered UI is Goku mastering the technique or maybe using the technique as a transformation? (Toyo is confusing.)

So why isn't Goku going into UI Omen when using UI in base? Why does Vegeta say "Ultra Instinct... becomes more accurate when used in conjunction with a Super Saiyan form"? Does that mean Mastered UI is a Saiyan form in conjunction with the Ultra Instinct technique? So, there's an unknown silver haired Saiyan transformation that Goku was utilizing in conjunction with Ultra Instinct? I guess this confirms that "Super Saiyan Blanco" is real y'all.

I suppose that if UI in base isn't the same as UI Omen, then by that logic, there is also an unknown "Super Saiyan Noir" form we haven't seen yet.

I'm done with Ultra Instinct in the manga. Toytaro doesn't know if UI is a technique or a transformation. I could explain it better than him, but I'm not tye one writing official material. Why should I make sense of his bad writing when he will change things later? HE should explain it clearly to US. He is extremely inconsistent with his explanations and will change them when he feels like it.

I dont care what Geekdom101 says about UI being both technique & transformation, because Ultra Instinct IS NOT a transformation nor a technique anymore. ULTRA INSTINCT IS JUST A PLOT DEVICE. 😑

[You can skip this little section. I'm talking about inconsistencies from the Moro arc]

I remember when I talked about how Moro's life draining powers were retconned multiple times.

Moro can absorb life energy from a planet while he is in outer space, then he is nerfed to only being able to take life energy by directly touching you, later Vegeta says they need to get off the ground because now Moro (who is stronger and fused with the planet) can only steal your life enrgy while making contact with you. He could absorb life energy from entire planets from space, but has to make contact with somebody once he got stronger?

Let's not forget it's said Moro drains life energy, but can't drain 17 & 18 because they say they don't have life energy. I guess that means Krillin had a daughter with a dead woman? No. Multiple times, 17 & 18 contributed to the Genki Dama (a collection of life energy). Goku gathers energy from trees, animals, ppl, everything living. This means 17 & 18 do have life energy because they are living beings. But the energy they fight with is unlimited artificial energy.

So if 17 & 18 can give life energy to Goku for a Genki Dama, then Moro should be able to take their life energy just like anyone else. What he can't take is their energy they use for battle because itsunlimited & artificial. Toyotaro does not understand this important detail nor does he understand many other details about these iconic character. So why is the the writer if he is getting so much wrong? Why is he not soley the artist?

Goku uses UI in SSG form to dodge a barrage of attacks from Granolah that are aimed at the planet. They must be weak attacks because the explosions are tiny. Is Granolah really trying to kill them?

Goku using UI in SSG but somehow gets caught off gaurd. Did UI just get nerfed so that Vegeta can look like he is on the same level as Goku in a later chapter? I think it did...

Granolah took Goku down a second time... Wow Goku, you kinda suck. In DBS CH 65 on page 11, after Moro broke his arm on UI Goku's chest, Whis said "When Ultra Instinct is honed to this extent, the body will automatically grow sturdier as necessary." Why is Goku holding back against the strongest in the universe? Oh yeah, that's right... UI is getting nerfed.

Vegeta, what do you mean "How is he learning Kakarot's weaknesses so quickly?" Everybody has similar vital spots in DB. Thats not learning, thats just knowing. Are you just a dummy, Vegeta? Do you not know where vital spots are?

Granolah can tell Goku's body is moving before his brain tells him to react. Granolah the UI "expert" can see all with his eye. You know who else can see with their eye? Tien. Speaking of Tien, I wanna go back to Earth now. What's Piccolo doing? I bet everyone on Earth is chilling or at work. Is it bad I'd rather watch Gohan at a conference than watch Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah be dummies? I'd rather watch Chi-Chi cooking with vegetables instead of watching vegetable puns fight a cereal pun. I'm sorry, the dialogue is just so bad...

How does Granolah's right eye being able to observe blood flow & muscle movements let you know where to strike? Dude, vital spots are where your organs are, & pressure points, & your head area, & you arteries, & so on. Ya ain't gotta observe blood flow to know that. Granolah just making stuff up now to sound cool. News flash, you failed. If he was sniping and able to track them based on blood flow and muscle movement, then that would had been smarter writing.

Granolah: "This right eye of mine is the sharpest in all the universe. It sees all."

Your eye sees all Granolah? Can you see past the Heeters feeding you bullcrap too?

Yo, where did Granolah's barely existing personality go? He wss once driven by revenge, and now the opportunity for revenge is right here in front of him & he's acting like he doesn't want it. If revenge is his only noticeable personality trait, what happens when you take it away? You get bland and dry Granolah.

So then Veget- hold on! Thats it! Granolah's name pun is granola because he is meant to be a bland character! I get it now! So all his moves must be cereal puns!

I never realized how genius this character is!

Detective Vegeta: "A tribe driven to extinction, known for their evolved right eyes... This is starting to sound familiar..." 🕵

Tien?! Oh wait... he said right, not 3rd eye. Jiren?! Oh wait, that's both his eyes... Jaco!? That's both eyes too... I give up.

Granolah's eye can tell that Goku is not using his full power, yet he can't tell he is being fooled by the Heeters. I think he needs new glasses or at least clean the revenge smear off of his monocle.

Granolah casually chats with a Saiyan who is one of the ppl he wants to kill. He would be better if he barely talked and just acted. Granolah should be like Iron Man in "Captain America: Civil War." Not trying to talk, just trying to kill because he is angry and wants revenge.

Goku: "Granolah, we don't work for Freeza & the two of us didn't attack your planet."

Granolah: "I dont care... Your people killed my family."

Boom! Gimme an award!

Back to the chapter 72 colouring book...

Granolah: "Hurry and get on with it. I have no duty to wait for your sake."

Yet you've been waiting all this time for them to arrive, fight them, chat with them, & even waiting for him to transform right now. You got time. You got 3 yrs to waste. You can chat for 10 minutes or so.

Granolah tells Goku that he doesn't have time to wait, then says "It's no skin off my nose to kill you where you stand." Then he waits for Goku to transform... Just kill Goku and be done with it already. Its not like Vegeta can win if Goku can't.

Granolah: "I dont have time for talk."

Goku: "Ok lets fight!"

Granolah: "Ok but, let me tell you about what my eye can do. I'm really proud of it. Mind if I talk a bit? So I sacrificed my life to defeat Freeza, the guy you're working for."

Goku: "What? You don't like Freeza? You're not a bad guy?"

Granolah: "Shut up Saiyan! You'll pay! Fight me!"

Granolah doesn't want to talk about Freeza all of the sudden when Goku implies they both have been tricked. Granolah becomes stupid just so the fight continues. There's a better way to keep them fighting. SHUT UP, GRANOLAH! If he talked less then convoluted stuff like this wouldn't happen.

Granolah yells "Take this!" He powers up instead of doing an attack... Why yell "take this" then power up if you aren't gonna attack right away? You even knocked Goku out of SSG, so now is the perfect time to finish him.

Blah blah blah, Goku goes SSB and they fight, blah blah blah.

Hey look! In my last review I said something about the planet should shake or be in danger from the battle. Looks like Toyo made the planet shake from the battle. Good job. I like this detail. Will it matter later on? Probably not.

Also, ya notice how god ki and god transformations are limited in this chapter? It seem they got too powerful for there to be any stakes. So we see Vegeta in base & SS. Then we see Goku in base, SS, SSG, base, & SSB so that false tension can build. Its smart but the dialogue doesn't compliment this smart tactic.

Aparently Vegeta doesn't care about the fight. Detective mode activate! (🕵) Vegeta standing in that Oozaru footprint looks like he's in Jurassic Park lol. But why did Detective Vegeta have to touch the footprint? He could had just looked at everything when he was high up and had a bird's eye view. Did Detective Vegeta taste the soil & gain knowledge by tasting the past?

Detective Vegeta: "I think I know who he is."

The Heeters said his name is Granolah, dummy. Shouldn't you say "I think I know what happened here." or something like that? Gimmie your detective hat, your trench coat, your bubble pipe, & you magnifying glass! You give detectives a bad name! I'll give this to somebody more deserving, like Jaco, Videl, Krillin, or Hit.

Did ya notice that Vegeta didn't get hit once but Goku who is using UI gets hit multiple times? Vegeta tells Goku to think instead of use UI? Oh yeah, this chapter was to pander to Vegeta fans. Toyo is poorly trying to convey he is equal or above Goku somehow. Like Vegeta mastered his training but Goku hasn't despite having mastered UI as a transformation thingy.

In conclusion, I was right. Freeza still hasn't been seen yet. Show a pic of him in somebody's thought bubble at the very least. This is all happening because if his influence y'all. Still no visual of Freeza yet... Whateva.

This chapter was wack. Too much unintelligent & unreasonable & unrealistic & unnecessary dialogue, plot went nowhere, Goku is being handicapped so the fight can continue, everyone are stupid idiots, Vegeta is being built up to lose his battle or get lucky & win. No image of Freeza still... This was just a very, very boring chapter.

I expect the next chapter to be boring too. Probably won't see Freeza either.

Prediction

Goku got knocked down twice by Granolah, Vegeta decided to fight second, Granolah said he doesn't need to keep Goku alive, & Vegeta told Goku he should stop relying on UI... Sounds like UI is getting nerfed & Goku is gonna need to be saved by Vegeta so that Vegeta can show off his Hakai training in comparison to UI.

[sinnbaddie]

So, I saw a post by @stilena regarding this article;

https://m.ranker.com/list/why-sakura-doesnt-deserve-the-hate/anna-lindwasser

I’d like to debunk a few things from this article.

This doesn’t make sense in the slightest. First off, you say she’s not cruel to her friends, but then say her behavior towards Naruto could be improved? That’s very contradicting, and it seems like whoever wrote this article is trying to find evidence she’s a good friend when it’s quite the contrary.

“Other fans think she destroyed her friendship with Ino over a boy, but it had little to do with Sasuke...”

This is complete BS. They didn’t even try and find any other reason to give why Sakura broke her friendship off with Ino.

The main reason she destroyed her friendship with Ino, is because she found out Ino had a crush on Sasuke. They literally lied on an article to make her look better than she is, and saying “other fans think,” no, actual fans know what happened, and what fans know is that Sakura broke off her friendship with Ino because of Sasuke. There was no, “differentiation” in place at the time. Maybe when she was like 12-15 she wanted to be different, but it did not happen when she was 5.

They also contradict themself later in the article;

“...when she discovers Ino has had a longtime crush on Sasuke too, it quickly sours their relationship and fuels their rivalry...”

So, at first they say their friendship wasn’t broken off bc of Sasuke, then say it was the reason it soured? This whole article is very contradictory.

The whole rival thing is stupid as hell, too. Ino never wanted to be rivals, she wanted to stay friends. Also, comparing Sasuke and Naruto’s rivalry to Sakura’s and Ino’s is very rude to Naruto and Sasuke, seeing how Naruto and Sasuke actually cared about each other and were friends throughout it mostly.

Even when Ino and Sakura were “ok,” when Sai met Ino, Sakura was rooting for him to call Ino ugly. Who the fuck does that to someone who helped you and was friends with you? Someone who called you pretty, and kind, someone who genuinely valued your friendship?

Either way, Ino’s friendship with Sakura was destroyed because of Sakura having a crush on Sasuke, not because she wanted to differentiate from Ino.

“...learns he’s an enemy of the state and puts aside any personal feelings...”

What?? Puts aside her personal feelings? The only time she’s ever put “aside” her feelings is when she tries to kill him. She’s so bent on him acknowledging her that when she got stabbed by Madara in the war and he didn’t notice her, she whined about it in her head. It was stupid as hell to try and fight Madara 1v1, but if her sole purpose was to “distract” him I can get behind that, but the purpose was so Sasuke can notice her. She’s extremely shallow considering Sasuke.

I mean look at this shit; she’s so damn obsessed with him that not even a fucking war can keep her attention off of Sasuke.

“...to perform her ninja duties and protect her village.”

When Sasuke was leaving, she begged him if she could go with him. Protect the village? If Sasuke accepted her self invite, then she would be a rogue ninja, someone who detached from the village.

And it happened again when she went to kill him. Albeit that she was trying to make it seem like she would actually help him, but if Sasuke actually gave her the chance she would take it. Sasuke saw through her bullshit though because he’s not a fucking idiot like she assumed he was.

“...don’t get to see Sakura spend a lot of one-on-one time with Sasuke after the first few arcs, they do witness the evolution of Sakura’s feelings.”

How can Sakura’s feelings evolve if she never has one-on-one time with Sasuke? When do we witness her feelings evolve from just looks? When does Sasuke open up to her so her feelings can evolve? They can’t, we don’t, and he doesn’t. The only time we as viewers see Sakura’s feelings evolve, is when they start to become obsessive. These are not kind feelings, these are obsessive ones.

“Even fans who aren’t on the Sasusaku ship can appreciate how she handles her emotions.”

The only thing I appreciate is that Sasuke keeps denying her advances because he doesn’t want romance with her, which he’s stated multiple times. She never handles her emotions. Just in general, too. From her constantly crying, to her anger issues, her trait is being unable to handle them. I’ve never once met an anti ss fan who appreciates how she handles her emotions. This is absurd in it of itself.

“Sakura cares deeply for Sasuke, not because of his looks, but because of who he is.”

Sakura cares for her idea of Sasuke, not Sasuke himself. Like the quote above speaking on her “evolved feelings,” shes never shown to care about Sasuke’s well being, seeing how she tried to kill him. Again, Sasuke has never opened up to Sakura, only Itachi and Naruto, and they have the audacity to say Sakura cares about Sasuke because of who he is.

What does Sakura think of Sasuke as a person that isn’t what Sasuke shows to everyone who he doesn’t actually care for? She cares about his cool, calm, and collected personality? Was he so cool, calm, and collected whenever Naruto was brought up, or Itachi? Is it because he is quiet and reserved? Was he quiet and reserved when he was a child, before Itachi slaughtered their clan in front of him, 518,400 times? Does she care about his strength and smarts? Does she know he wanted to be intelligent and strong enough so he could kill Itachi? Does she know on a deeper level than just “I want to kill a certain man; I want revenge”?

No. Because Sasuke never let Sakura know the real him because he doesn’t care about her as much as Naruto, or Itachi. He never once thought about her throughout his years gone from the village in Pt.1 and Shippuden, while he thought of Naruto occasionally.

The truth of the matter is, Sasuke does not care about Sakura, his supposed wife, as much as he cares about Naruto, his best friend, someone he considers a brother.

“...she refuses to compromise her principles solely because she loves him.“

What principles are we talking about here? Didn’t she falsely confess to Naruto, drug him, Yamato, and Kakashi, and try and kill Sasuke on her own? Like I mentioned above, wasn’t she the one who idiotically charged Madara (someone she knew stomped the five kage, and who was basically a god at that point, too), and get stabbed for it, only to be upset that Sasuke didn’t notice her nor care about her wellbeing?

“She’s still her own person.”

Take away her crush with Sasuke she’ll be her own person. I’ll admit, in the beginning of Shippuden, she did well. Why? Because Sasuke wasn’t there and was barely mentioned. Kishimoto said in an interview that Sakura is obsessed with Sasuke (if someone can send me the interview It’d be much appreciated as I can’t find it as of now).

She’s only her own person when you take Sasuke out of the picture. Throughout both series her actions and intentions has been based around Sasuke. She isn’t her own person and it’s absurd to think of her as one when it’s shown time and time again she is not.

This whole article is complete bullshit, seeing how many of these “facts” are lies to make it seem like Sakura is some lovely person. She’s not, and she’s not a good person towards Sasuke either.

It’s ok to admit Sakura isn’t the best character nor person in Naruto, because she’s not. It’s fine to think Sakura as kind, and loving, but only in fanon. Canon Sakura is not what you, and the person who wrote this article is talking about.

You can like Fanon Sakura, but don’t dismiss that Canon Sakura is a jerk who is heavily involved with her own self and benefits, maybe not fully but in regards to “love, and friendship” she most definitely is.

[joezworld]

Sentient vehicle headcanon - The Falklands war

Normally I try to tell these headcanons in a manner similar to Wikipedia - only keeping the relevant details. However, this one is so insane that even in my head, I feel it needs to be told differently. 

So, for the purposes of this headcanon, pretend that this is being told to you by your friend, who is desperately trying to appear normal while telling you about a Wikipedia article he just read. 

So, this entire story is fucking insane - there’s so much that goes on, lemme just start at the beginning. 

So, the UK owns these little islands off the coast of Argentina in the middle of goddamn nowhere. The Argentinians really don’t like this because the islands are much closer to them and they say that they own it - but it’s like that one Eddie Izzard bit - do you have a flag?  - And the brits did and the Argentinians didn’t, so everybody said that england had the islands.

Naturally this made Argentina very mad, but they didn’t do anything about it because they had shit goin’ on. Because like, all of South America had really bad shit happening to it between the 30′s and the 90′s - so nothing happened. 

Until in the 80′s, when Argentina had a military dictatorship called a Junta - which led through the very nice and normal way of ‘taking anyone they didn’t like and throwing them out of helicopters’ - the government had basically spun up their propaganda mill to the point where they actually believed that they could take the Falklands and the British wouldn’t do anything!

And they did this in 1982, which is like the exact wrong time to piss off the UK, because they used to be the biggest empire the world has ever seen, and then in like the last 20 years they lost India and Pakistan, had to give Canada their constitution back, and they were about to do the same to Australia and New Zealand, and they had basically signed Hong Kong back over to the Chinese. 

-And you know *spoiler alert* they didn’t give Hong Kong back, but at the time they thought they were gonna! - 

And so this means that the UK is feeling really bad about itself going into this whole thing, and then this punk-ass little country with like two ships in its navy tries to start shit because they think that The Queen won’t do anything. 

Except, they aren’t dealing with the Queen, they’re dealing with Margaret Thatcher - who will kill you, your dog, your family, and anybody who ever sold you a cannoli if she thinks it’ll make England strong.

So - even from this point, the Argentinians are gonna die, but what happens next is so out-of-left-field that it’s astounding. 

-

So, let’s roll back the clock a few weeks and The USS Montana is about to get involved. 

So, Montana is this pugnacious old man of a heavy cruiser who’s been with the navy since before World War 1. He has this amazing history going through every war the US has been in - and he’s amazing: when they tried to retire him after the first world war, he told them no, and said he’d raise a pirate flag and follow the sixth fleet around if they didn’t let him stay. So they did, and he served in every war and conflict the US was in until the 80′s. 

And this is kinda important, because when he was built, it was before the wars - everything was a bit slower, a bit more laid back, and he actually got a lot of family bonding with the other ships in the Navy and in his class, and it meant that he wasn’t like, sad and miserable and scared when the war happened. 

Flash forward to 1946, and the US has just built like hundreds of ships to kill the Axis with, and they did it so quickly that most of these guys went from the drydock to the battlefield with no real training or anything - so they were really fucked up when they came back. 

So, when Montana sees this, he decides that he’s basically going to be the father figure that everyone didn’t have - and basically makes most of the navy his kids - like straight up his sons and daughters, no questions asked. And he did this for almost every ship the Navy built between 1950 and the 80′s.

Which means that basically the entire US Navy loves him unconditionally. 

Like, I can’t stress this enough - he was their dad - he taught Iowa class battleships how to go fishing, he gave the birds and the bees talk to submarines, like, everything he did was for his kids or for his country. 

And so, one day in 1982, he gets a call from one of his kids who’s moved down to Argentina - which I need to point out that a lot of US ships went down to South America in the 40s and 50s, but a lot of them did that because they were fucked up from WW2, and most of them didn’t get to know Montana very well - so they weren’t ‘his kids’. 

But one of them was, and he calls up his dad and says “Hey dad, uhh, my bosses have really started to believe their own BS and they think that they can take on the UK - and I think that I’m gonna die, because I work with these people and we are not gonna be able to win this. Please help me.” 

And so Montana tells him to calm down, and he’s gonna get him out of this. And then he goes to his bosses at the navy, says he’s using some leave time to go rescue his kid, and the Navy realizes that they’re never gonna be able to talk him out of this, so they call up the chain to Washington and cut him some orders that say that he’s a ‘neutral observer’ so that nobody shoots at him. 

And this seems like its all going to go just fine, except that several ships in the Argentinian Navy were made by the West Germans, and have NO IDEA who this guy is - because even the American ships who aren’t his kids still know him, because how can you not.

And so he makes it almost all the way to Argentina when one of the Argentinian submarines - who was German - sees him, has no idea who he is, doesn’t know about the neutral observer thing because the Argentine Navy is a clusterfuck, and sinks him! And he dies!

And I can- I- This is so bad!

Because now, the US NAVY is involved. 

And They. Are. Pissed. 

Because Their DAD JUST GOT MURDERED!!!!!!

And the Argentinians have no idea what’s happening - they have no idea that this guy is important or that he even got sunk! Because the submarine just assumed he was English and called in that he’d sunk a British advance party or something, and it takes like a week for the Americans to put two and two together, so for a while, nobody knows what’s happened - it’s like they’ve stepped on a land mine and it hasn’t gone off yet. 

-

But because no one knows the enormity of the shitstorm the Argentinians are gonna be facing yet, the British are still mobilizing - they didn’t do what the Americans did and set up a network of navy and air bases all over the world in case they need to kick someone’s ass in the future - and all the countries around the south Atlantic either hate them, or are former colonies who really hate the English. So they have to schlep everything they need to fight a war alllll the way down from England to Argentina - which is like the furthest distance you can go without running into the British Empire it’s so far why. 

And so the Royal Navy has to call in the civilian reserve fleet, which is a bunch of ocean liners and container ships who really would rather be flagged under any other nation right now, but they’re not!, so they have to go basically become war-adjacent for a while - just hanging out in the frigid North Atlantic until the Royal Navy finishes kicking ass and taking names and then they can go home. 

Except. 

Except. 

EXCEPT THAT 

The Argentine Navy is a bunch of suicidal morons!

Because they saw that the British didn’t have enough logistics vessels and was requisitioning ferry boats and ocean liners and had a brainwave: 

¡ Hey !  ¡ If we shoot at these unarmed ferry boats and container ships, not only will the Brits not have any logistical support, but they might get scared and go home!

Which sounds like a good plan, until you realize that the Royal Navy is not pleased that they have to bring civilian ships into battle - like the aircraft carriers and the destroyers see this as ‘a stain on their character’ for having to ‘endanger civilians unduly’ because they’re posh and they’re English but also they’re right - this is not a place for civvies - Exocet missiles are gonna be flying around, it’s not safe. 

Also, the Royal Navy had a very dim view of this whole conflict, because they thought it was pointless to sail halfway across the ocean just to fight over a tiny island with 3 people on it - if they wanted to expand the empire just invade Ireland or something. 

- Now, that sounds bad, but this was the 80′s - The Troubles were ongoing, and in the Royal Navy at least, they liked the Irish a lot less than the Argentinians! -

Also, Ireland was closer. 

But anyways, the RN ships at least had a rather dim view of the whole conflict, right up until the SS Atlantic Conveyor took an Exocet to the fuckin’ face.

And he dies. 

And this is almost as bad as sinking Montana, because Atlantic Conveyor had this really unique ability to make friends with anyone, and had spent most of the voyage down basically being the flotilla’s morale officer. 

So when he dies, this stops being a token effort to restore British Sovereignty, and starts being The Royal Navy Wants You Dead. 

Which, on its own, would have meant that Argentinian Navy would have been wiped from the face of the earth - because the Royal Navy wasn’t leaving until everyone was dead. It didn’t matter if it was a tugboat with a handgun - there would be no more Argentinian Navy when they were done. 

-

Now. 

Now.

Meanwhile in America, while the Royal Navy is still steaming down to the Islands, words starts to get around that someone killed Dad.

And this went over exactly as well as you think it would. 

The ships of the US Navy reacted calmly and coolly, and didn’t cry or scream or plot revenge. 

They totally didn’t. 

Except that they totally did, and spent a few days gathering every bullet, shell, round, and torpedo they could find, before leaving with the intent of finding and killing everyone in the Argentinian military. 

Now, that might sound like a generalization, but it wasn’t. 

There were somewhere around 370 ships in the US Navy at that time, and about 280 of them were capable of reaching Argentina without leaving the US vulnerable to an attack  - plus about another 200 or so that had retired from the navy or transferred to other nations but still kept in touch. 

So that’s about 500 battleships, destroyers, submarines, amphibious assault ships, support vessels, aircraft carriers, tankers, oilers, troop transports, guided missile cruisers and the Presidential Yacht. 

All of them went to Argentina. Every last one of them.

And no-one believed it!

The British thought it was a joke, and the Argentinians thought it was counter-intelligence!

The ENTIRE US NAVY just up and left to kick someone’s ass! That doesn’t happen! That didn’t happen in WW2! This has never happened before or since in US history! Even when the US Navy was a bunch of sailboats in Philadelphia nobody did that!

-

And So, that’s how it was - the US Navy was steaming down en mass to fuck up the Argentinians, the Royal Navy was hopping mad, and the Argentinians didn’t even know anything was going to happen!

Also, before I forget, also on top of all this - Atlantic Conveyor was friends with a bunch of ocean liners, and because they’re all fucking insane - Normandie spent WW2 fucking up U-Boats in the Caribbean, and the United States sailed into a Cat 5 hurricane, and Olympic is one of the reasons that Singapore got kicked out of Malaysia - so, they all decided that their friend dying was worth fighting for, and they got together and steamed down to the South Atlantic at the same time the Americans were, and set like 9 speed records in the process because of course they did. 

-

So, now that there’s essentially three giant navies coming down to kick their asses, the Argentinians finally  begin to clue in on something being wrong - like, there were a couple of Soviet Trawlers that were parked offshore, and they claimed to be fishing but in reality they were spying - and they had these giant radio masts that they’d put up whenever orders came down from Moscow. 

And one day, the Argentinians watched from their spy planes as the masts went up slowly, then got taken down very quickly, and then they watched as the two spy trawlers went racing off towards Africa. 

And they wondered why they were going towards Africa, because the soviet union is the other way - you need to steam around the edge of South America, until they called down to Ushuaia - in Tierra Del Fuego, and heard that what looked like half the US Navy was coming round the tip of South America. 

And it looked like that because it was! Because half of the US Navy had sailed down from the pacific to cut off any way of escape! 

It was only now, at this incredibly late time, that the Argentinians realized exactly how Fucked  they were. 

-

Now, at this point, a smart man would have given up - but Galtierei was not. 

So naturally the Argentinians kept fighting for a whole week before they all just died. 

And it wasn’t in normal “get shot with a missile and sink” ways either - like, one of their cruisers fired on a ship, and it turned out to be the USS Missouri, who was right next to the other three Iowa Class battleships, and they all targeted this ship, and made him disappear because that’s what happens when the four biggest battleships on earth shoot at you at once. 

Or, the Submarines - the one that sank Montana got chased by 4 Los Angeles class attack subs and ended up getting pushed beneath his crush depth - not hit with a torpedo, PUSHED. The other one, meanwhile, tried to shoot at one of the Ocean Liners, and ended up getting sunk by them! Which is incredible, because Nobody expected that to happen, least of all the Liners, and yet they just totally went in and contributed - which actually means that there’s a third “belligerents” column for the Wikipedia page for this, and it’s just them. 

So the war actually ended on kind of an anti-climax, because after the US just steamrolled the Argentinians, there wasn’t anything left to do. The Brits landed more troops at Port Stanley, and then they just sort of went home. 

Most of the Americans did too, but they also went and installed a new government in Argentina! 

Which, as the rumor goes, the Navy did that without asking anyone, and BOY O BOY was the State Department Upset - I think a lot of people got fired or demoted for that. 

But it did turn out well in the end, because unlike every other time the US tried to install a leader, it actually went rather well, and the guy they put in charge left when he lost his re-election, and now Argentina is a democratic ally and a partner in Peace! 

Who still claim that they own the Falklands

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Beyond the Corona Walls Part 1

Ah, now we’re finally here at season two; the dullest season. Yet there’s still plenty to talk about so let’s dig in. 

Summary: Rapunzel has begun following the Black Rocks and joining her on her journey are Eugene, Cassandra, Pascal, Maximus, Fidella, Owl, Lance, Hook Foot and Shorty (who stowed away). During this time, Eugene is planning on proposing to Rapunzel again, but when Rapunzel accidentally reveals herself when he is practicing it causes an awkward situation between the couple when Rapunzel doesn't give him an answer. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and the group are making their first stop in Vardaros, a city Eugene and Lance previously visited in their past, but discover it has become overrun with criminals. While Eugene and the boys remain in the city to gather supplies, news of Eugene's arrival quickly spreads among the citizens, including the city's leader, the Baron, a criminal kingpin who previously worked with Eugene and Lance in the past and seeks revenge. Eugene, Lance and Shorty are quickly captured by the Baron's men and taken to his castle where they met by the Baron and his daughter, Stalyan, Eugene's ex-fiancée. The Baron threatens Lance's life unless Eugene marries Stalyan. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and Cassandra meet Adira, a mysterious warrior who harbors knowledge on the Black Rocks.

The Audience Needs More Than Just Single Lines of Exposition 

(Yes, that’s a lot of screen grabs and this is where a video review has the advantage, but I’m not fooling with editing, so there ya go.)

King Edmund of the Dark Kingdom here is talking about the moonstone and how he wishes to destroy it. 

But how has it destroyed lives? What has it and the black rocks done besides some property damage? Why is he only now just considering this option when the moonstone has been there for centuries? Why leave to prevent people from using it, when the whole point of having a strong hold there is to safeguard it in the first place?    

There’s lots that we can theorize here; I’m of the mind that his wife was impaled on a black rock, myself, hence his break down here; but the series doesn’t show us that. Telling us that the moonstone is a threat isn’t enough, you have to prove that it is. Cause right now only the rocks have been shown to cause damage and in this very same episode they stop being a threat and don’t do anything. 

Well Looky There, Cass Got a Promotion 

So this line, plus all of Cass’s previous guard duty work coupled with her protective nature this season, more or less cements that she was personally appointed by the king to be the princess’s bodyguard. She’s no longer a handmaiden. 

Now watch as the show completely forgets this little plot point. 

Why Are You Here Hookfoot? 

As I said earlier, I do like Hookfoot, and in theory I don’t mind him coming along to round out the group. But in practice he doesn’t really add anything. You could slot nearly any other character into his place and nothing would really change. In some cases, things would even improve without him. 

Really Raps? More than Anyone?

More than the poor orphaned boy that you stole that scroll piece from and threw into a dungeon? The one that spent months translating that scroll and trying to figure out the rocks while you sat on your ass and did nothing? 

Oh, yeah, Varian is currently in jail by the way, and Rapunzel fully knows this, despite Frederick promising to try and help him. 

I can understand the mains not letting Varian come along on this trip, but keeping the character who thus far has the most connection to your ongoing arc away from said arc entirely is bad storytelling. There were countless ways to incorporate Varian this season that didn’t involve hiding him away for a year. Including having him come along on probation, because he’s the only one who can read the your dang macguffin. 

Marriage Isn’t a Trap, Stop Acting Like It Is

Marriage doesn’t stop you from living your life. You can be married and still do whatever it is that you enjoy. If it’s a healthy marriage then you and your partner will work together to help each other fulfill their dreams. Especially, when you got the money to do it, which, as royals, Eugene and Rapunzel both got in spades. 

Also we aren’t even talking about getting married right now, just getting engaged. An engagement can last however long you want it to. There’s literally no reason why Rapunzel and Eugene couldn’t have been engaged, or even married, for the rest of the series. 

I know you got a time frame show and this is suppose to lead into the Happily Ever After short, but then you need to give like an actual physical reason why they wouldn’t want to marry yet, cause otherwise you’re just spinning your wheels and wasting the audience’s time with this melodrama. 

Why Are You Here Shorty?

Shorty’s inclusion doesn’t bother me as much as Hookfoot’s. A. Because he’s a movie original and this is a spin off, and B. Shorty doesn’t take away anything. Including him doesn’t steal screen time from anybody else since he gets no real focus. It just also doesn’t add anything either since he gets no real focus. Your mileage may vary on how detrimental this is. It personally doesn’t bother me, but I’m not going to act like it’s great writing or anything either. 

We Needed More of This

Remember how I said that there’s no longer any threat this season? 

The rocks themselves could have been enough to push the narrative forward, same as they did in season one, if the series had bothered to show their destruction more often and claim that finding the moonstone could help fix things. But all we get is this one scene of a once prosperous town being junked. After that the story never focuses on it. The townspeople more or less get on with their lives, the rocks stop doing anything, and we see no more damage beyond this point.  

Also keep in mind that we are never told what taking the moonstone and reuniting it with the sundrop would do, nor how it might help anyone. Rapunzel has no longer has a reason to go on her road trip.     

In fact this whole season long quest now becomes pointless because not doing anything would in fact be the better option. Which in turn undermines all of season one as well, because we just spent 24 episodes saying that not doing anything is bad. So which is it show? Make up your mind. 

Once Again, Marriage Isn’t a Trap

I wouldn’t mind this kind of talk so much if the show was using Lance and Hookfoot here to set up a later contradiction and challenge this kind of thought process. Cause as is, this is a pretty toxic and sexist mentality. Ladies are no less ‘free’ when they get married. Eugene doesn’t like own Raps just cause he becomes a husband. She can still do whatever the heck she wants. But no, the show only validates this outdated thinking instead.

Cass Deserves To Get Her Butt Kicked 

Can’t spell Cass without ‘ass’, hun? 

Adria doesn’t do anything here. She cheerfully asks to talk to Rapunzel alone, respectfully requests not to to have her personal space invaded more than once, and even then she tries to deescalate the situation as Cass tries to pick a fight over nothing like a school yard bully; even going so far as to shout elementary insults at her. Which Ardia takes all in stride.

If you’re wanting me to take Cassandra’s side in the Cass vs. Adria fallout later, show, then you’re doing a poor job of setting that up. Being cautious with a stranger is one thing, getting butt hurt after being rightly called out on your BS is another. 

Let’s Talk About the Slap Here, and the Fans Misportrayal of Stalyan

Most of the fanbase hates Stalyan, and rightly so. She’s not meant to be likable. She is a villian and the show portrays her as such. However, certain fans like to take things a step further than that and take scenes out of context to imply that she is somehow even worse than she actually is. Scenes like this one for instance. 

Keep in mind, Eugene stood her up. He left her at the altar. As in, he didn’t have the decency to break up with her face to face like a respectful human being. The whole point behind Eugene’s character development is that he use to be a jerk. 

I’m not going to act like Stalyan is a sweet and wholly innocent victim here, but you look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t slap your cheating ex too when you finally saw him again after that? And yes, it is implied that Eugene use to cheat on her. More on that in part 2.  

The point is you can’t just shout ‘abuser’ when all you’ve seen of a relationship is the post break up. Cause you have no idea what went down, and people aren’t always friendly with their exes. 

Now we most definitely should have gotten more info on what their relationship was like and more context around the break up, and that is a failing of the show. But a good chunk of the complaints hurled at Stalyan aren’t based off anything she actually did and is more rooted in sexism and fandom’s toxic shipping habits. 

What you can rightly criticize Stalyan for is inconsistency. 

Stalyan’s Actions Don’t Mesh With Her Motivations 

So does she want revenge or does she want to marry him? Which is it? Cause those two things aren’t compatible. 

If she still loves Eugene and still believes that he would come back to her, than she wouldn’t be threatening him now. Like I said, marriage isn’t a trap. It’s not punishment. It’s a thing people actually want, and they want their partners to want it too. If her goal is to convince him to marry her, as stated, then she’d wouldn’t be mean to him right now and she wouldn’t be going along with this 'force him into it’ plan. 

Look, this entire plot needed a rewrite. I’m not saying that you need to make Stalyan nice nor have her be wholly forgiving of Eugene’s past actions, but you really, really, needed to keep her in the dark about the blackmail. Especially since they try and fail to make her sympathetic later on. 

As is, Stalyan is just a confusing character. You gotta do a lot of reading between the lines and digging for exposition (some of which we don't even get till the end of season 3) to make any sense of what she says and does. 

But I’m going to give it an honesty try come part two. 

Conclusion 

I’ll give my finally thoughts in the second half of the episode/review. But for now the only interesting thing is Adria herself. The Baron stuff just drags and feels like a waste of build up.