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idabbleincrazy · 8 months ago

Text

Catalyst

Fandom: Smallville

Rating: E

Pairing: Clex

Characters: Clark, Lex, Lois Lane

Word Count: 4503

Warnings: under the influence, pwp, smut, dirty talk, teasing, bondage, bottom!Lex, rimming, anal fingering, anal, Lex is a lil slutty and a lil subby (but only for Clark), coming untouched, Lois is looking *respectfully*, mention of the Justice League, canon divergent

Summary: Turns out all they needed was a little shove in the right direction...

A/N: set in an au where Lex never tried to kill Clark in the Fortress, so no hand issue and no need for Queen blowing him up and no clones needed to repair him. so, I guess, Smallville versions of Clark, Lex, and Lois set in other Superman iterations? idk. I had an idea but it doesn't fit squarely in Smallville canon. Opening dialogue prompted from this list.

"This is wrong." Clark halted his movements, Lex's shirt bunched in his hands, torn open and halfway down the older man's shoulders.

"So wrong." Lex's voice was a husky rasp as he tilted his head up to close the unwanted distance between them, shimmying his way out of the ruined button-up. "And so fucking right, Clark. Kiss me."

Clark gave in, too dazed and aroused to resist the wet, friction-reddened mouth pressing against his. He let the tatters of expensive cotton flutter to the floor, his hands gripping around Lex's hips and tugging him impossibly closer. He knew, somewhere in the recesses of his brain, that this really, really, shouldn't be happening. He tried to ignore the feel of Lex's tongue slipping over his, oh, so sweet, so slick, and the way their cocks rubbed against each other through thin layers of fabric, to focus through the haze of red clouding his thoughts.

"We…we were…fighting, weren't we? How…oh, God, Lex!"

"Tired of fighting, Clark. Tired of secrets, and lies, of pretending I don't think about this every fucking night." Clark felt Lex's fingers grappling at his belt buckle, his teeth scraping along his jaw. His cock twitched in his pants, throbbing at the pleasurable sting and Lex's rough words sounding in his ear. "Don't care why we're not fighting. That was never what I wanted. This. You, here, like this, hard for me. This is what I've wanted for so long, Clark."

“Shit, Lex…we can’t…I was…angry, at you, some…new experiment with Kryptonite, did you-?”

“That was just a red herring, Clark. It always is.” Lex’s hands moved up from Clark’s unbuckled belt, scrabbling at the tie around his throat, tugging it away to work at the buttons of his shirt. Needed to taste more of that golden skin. “Only way I get to see you anymore is if you’re swooping into my office in that ridiculous costume to yell at me, or snooping around LexCorp with Ms. Lane. And, frankly, Superman, I’m starting to run out of schemes. So, whatever this is, magic, a mutant with some kinky grudge, I don’t care, I’ll take what I can get. You can hate me later.”

“You…you know?”

“Oh, Clark, the second I saw the Red-Blue Blur streaking across the skyline, I knew it was you. How could I not? You could never hide yourself from me as well as you thought. I know you too well.”

Clark groaned as Lex's teeth scraped over his throat, surprised by how he could feel the slightest sting of pain beneath the pleasure. He'd come to Luthor's office as himself this time, to pose some questions on the latest batch of tests Lois had caught sight of in her constant digging into LexCorp, wanting to see what he could find out as Clark, before rampaging through as Superman like he always did. The last thing he remembered was the two of them yelling at each other about ethics and repercussions, and a flash of red light beaming through the window. When it had cleared, they were wrapped around each other, Lex's lips beneath his, Lex's hands in his hair, his own shredding through Luthor's shirt without a care of the show of strength.

"Stop thinking, Kent. Use that superspeed of yours and find us a bed before I lay you out over my desk. Not stopping this, Clark, not till we get what I know we've both wanted for over a decade."

Lex's tongue was back in his mouth before he could snap a retort, arms wound around him and clinging. He let himself give in to the desire coursing through him, picking Lex up off the floor and zipping through the tower up to the penthouse. Unerringly, he found the master bedroom, and tumbled Lex onto the orgy-sized bed.

Speeding out of his clothes, he stood bare before Lex, nerves creeping back in as the older man gazed up at him with a hunger more ravenous than any he'd seen in those steel-blue eyes before. His cock, so hard his foreskin had already fully retracted, pulsed out a thick drop of pre-cum, eliciting a groan of want from Lex as he watched it cling from the tip of the jutting erection.

"God, you're beautiful, Clark. Perfect. Just like I knew you would be." Lex tore at his belt as he scrambled further up the bed, desperate to be rid of his pants, to pull Clark to him and feel him, skin on skin. "Shit. Little help?"

Clark smirked a quick Luthor-worthy shark-toothed grin, his eyes flashing red, and pounced. Lex was naked beneath him before he even felt the air whoosh out of his lungs, warm skin pressed against his own from chest to cock. He really didn't know what had triggered the change between them from hurling verbal pain at each other to clinging to each other, sucking face, and he truly didn't care. He'd wanted him for far too long to give up what might be the only chance to know what it felt like to be fucked by Clark Kent. And from the feel of the thick cock brushing against his own as Clark's lips latched onto his throat, he was going to enjoy every inch of it. Arches his head back to press into the mouth sucking bruises into porcelain skin that he hopes will last more than a day or two, legs spreading to accommodate the width of Clark's hips. He trails his hands up the brunette's sides, one digging clawed fingers into a shoulder, the other tangling into thick hair he's only dreamed of learning the silky-softness of.

"Jesus, Clark, just take me already. Trust me, I don't need foreplay right now. We can be soft and sweet next time," Lex groaned half in arousal, half in frustration, as Clark began slowly moving down his body, licking and nipping at random points of skin. "I want it hard, Clark, rough, and raw, and everything you couldn't be with anyone else. You know I won't break so easily."

"Fuck!" Clark didn't curse often, hard to just leave behind the two decades of small-town politeness drilled into him, but it was worth it to feel the subsequent shudder that ran through the lithe body beneath him. He was so hard it hurt, Lex's urgency thrilling him to a level of desire he couldn't remember feeling with any other lover he'd had. "What do you want, Lex? My mouth, my cock…my ass? Tell me, baby. Anything, everything, anything you want, and I'll do it. There's nothing I haven't already imagined when it comes to you, Lex."

And just where had Clark learned to talk like this, Lex wondered as he groaned louder, pulling at his hair to urge him back up, capturing his mouth in a desperate kiss, tongue teasing along Clark's, memorizing the precise dimensions of that mouth he'd spent far too many nights fantasizing about. Superman presented himself to the public as this otherworldly Boy Scout, all wholesome and polite, and here he was, spouting filth that would probably make even Lois blush. Let it never be said Lex Luthor couldn't dish it out as good as it was served.

"Want you to fuck me, Clark", Lex panted against his lips, nipping harshly at the bottom one. "Dreamt about that huge cock filling me, splitting me open so I feel it for days, leaving me aching when I have to sit through meeting after meeting. Want to be spread open for you, taken…make me yours, Clark, make me scream, make me beg."

Clark had to close his eyes at the unexpected burning he felt building up, his control slipping at the onslaught of dirty talk. His heat vision hadn't reacted that way to his arousal in years, but then, he hadn't felt this much need for someone since he and Lex had become embittered towards each other. Only someone like Lex could test his resolve this way. One of his favorite fantasies popped into his head as Lex spoke, fire tingling behind his eyelids at the images flashing through his mind.

Once he was back under control, he did a quick scan of the room and sped off the bed, grabbing what he was searching for from various drawers. Setting the lube beside Lex just as the older man registered the movement, he held up the handful of silk with another shark smile. Lex's breath hitched, and he nodded at the unspoken question in Clark's gaze, limbs spreading out to the corners of the bed.

"Do it."

Before Lex could blink, his hands were secured to the newels of the headboard by the expensive ties Clark had rooted out, tight enough to keep him in place without cutting off circulation, and Lex couldn't help but feel a surge of jealousy at the font of knowledge he didn't know the Kryptonian had possessed. He pushed it aside as Clark laid himself back over him, deciding it better to take advantage of the gained experience rather than sulk or rage at not having been the one to teach him.

"Let's see just how flexible you are, Lex." Using the other two ties, Clark bound Lex's feet beside his hands, folding the businessman practically in half. Kneeling back, he looked Lex over, his cock leaking pre-come at the sight of him spread open for the taking. Lex's cock bobbed, hard and proud and leaking, against nearly-washboard abs, surrounded by a smattering of coppery curls, and as Clark's gaze drifted lower, he could just see the tiny hole twitching from between slightly spread pale cheeks. "God, Lex, all the times I imagined you like this, all the times I've x-rayed through the layers you hide behind, never did you justice. So sleek, and smooth, and yet, still so fit. Look how your muscles flex and strain like this. Gonna put them to a true test tonight, baby."

Lex twisted against the ties holding him in place, wishing he'd turned over before allowing Clark to strap him down. At least then he'd be able to get some much needed friction on his aching cock. All the times he had pictured himself at Clark's mercy, or vice versa, had never been this intense, and he just knew that by the time this was over, he was going to have come harder than he ever had before. He couldn't hold back the moan that fell from his lips as Clark finally reached out and touched him, that huge, warm hand stroking down the back of his left thigh, fingers trailing down to the curve of his up-turned buttocks. God, he must look every bit the wanton slut, trussed up like this, but, fuck, if he didn't revel in it.

"Clark…"

Clark felt a thrill of possessiveness rush through him at the slight whine in Lex's voice, the word full of need, but not yet a real plea. Bending down, he swiped his tongue through the growing puddle of pre-come pooling on Lex's stomach, growling in pleasure at the taste of him, and the twitch of muscles that rippled across his torso at the touch. Nothing was hidden from him now, every bit of skin bared to his sight, emotions clearly written on Lex's face, everything Lex had tried to keep from him, revealed in the depths of those stormy blue eyes.

With his cock throbbing against his own abdomen, Clark followed his own hidden desires, taking the tip of Lex's erection into his mouth, suckling the bulbous head briefly before releasing it. Lex groaned out his displeasure at the too-brief contact of wet warmth around his cock, the sound going high at the end as that slick tongue trailed down the shaft of his aching length.

Clark would've been content to suck Lex down, to taste him as he poured down his throat, but his cock had other plans, needing the tightness promised by that enticing pink pucker teasing his sight from beneath the heavy, full testicles as he licked and teased his way further down between Lex's stretched and straining legs. He relished the whimpers Lex voiced when he mouthed at his balls, engulfing first one, then the other, in the heat of his mouth, letting his tongue roll around each, unconsciously cataloging the weight and give of them.

Releasing the right sac with a hint of suction, he continued his downward path, tongue licking over the sensitive patch of skin beneath them and trailing slickly down, along the perineum, nose pressing into damp flesh and inhaling the musky scent as he neared his target. He braced his hands against the tautened muscles of Lex's thighs as the older man strained against his bonds again at the first flick of his tongue over the furled ring of muscle, keeping him in place as he licked around the rim of puckered flesh.

"Oh, fuck! Clark…shit, never thought you'd - oh, yeah. Yeah, baby, like that, just like that." Lex tried futilely to buck up onto the slick appendage teasing his asshole, his cock leaking steadily at the knowledge that it was Clark, his Clark, giving him the rimjob of his life. That broad, nimble, tongue lapping over his hole, dipping into it, humming noises of hunger and satisfaction like he was devouring a fresh slice of homemade pie. No one had ever eaten him out with such naked enthusiasm. "Christ, Clark, in me. Want you in me."

Ever the people-pleaser, Clark smirked against the saliva-slickened hole, thrusting his tongue into it, deep as he could. Using his x-ray vision to help guide him, he flicked the tip of his tongue repeatedly against Lex's prostate, his grip tightening around his thighs as he renewed his thrashing at the sensation. He'd never done this before, though he knew of the act's existence. Never wanted to. Never wanted to be this intimate with anyone else, knowing he would only have been imagining Lex in their stead anyways. Everyone knew how obsessed Lex was with Superman, no one knew just how much the reverse was also true. He craved every part of the man he'd thought was his enemy, his body, his heart, his soul, everything. He'd stopped fooling around with men after college, realizing it wasn't fair to them when all he saw was Lex when he fucked them. Women were easier, kept him in the moment, with their soft curves and softer voices, not as likely to leave him biting back the wrong name as he shouted out his release. And now he had him. He tasted better than he had ever dared to imagine, musky and masculine, dark and raw and thrilling beyond belief.

"Clark! Oh, God, stop, you have to…too close, Clark. Don't wanna come yet. Not till your cock is in me."

After a final flick, Clark relented, his mouth retreating from the glistening pucker. Quickly, he snatched up the lube he'd set aside, warming the cool gel before slicking up his fingers. As he circled a finger around the twitching rim, he turned his head to kiss along Lex's left leg, nipping lightly at the corded tendons to feel the muscles spasm minutely between his teeth, trailing his mouth up to the slender ankle. Tongue laving over the sole of his foot, Clark slid his forefinger into the twitching hole, pleased to find Lex relaxing into the stretch so easily.

Lex arched his head back into the pile of pillows as Clark's finger sank into him, the slick digit nearly as thick as his tongue. Between that and the attention being paid to his foot, of all places, he felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin, shivers of arousal coursing through him with each new movement from his alien lover. He knew sex with Clark would be far from ordinary, how could it not be? But this…oh, this was beyond any scenario even his overactive imagination could have conceived. He didn't know how he had managed to keep from coming this long, every move Clark made was orgasm-inducing in and of itself. It was merely the thought of that thick, steel-hard cock finally thrusting into him that kept him holding out. He'd never edged himself like this before with any other lover, delayed gratification had never been his thing. But Clark, Clark was worth the wait. After years of it, what were a few more minutes, here or there?

"More. God, Clark, more."

"Shit, Lex, you're beautiful like this. Your eyes, so wild and open, showing me everything. Tell me we won't go back to how it was before, Lex." Clark slipped another finger in beside the first, scissoring the digits as he watched Lex's face, his head leaning against his foot, nosing at the smooth skin. "Tell me we're done pretending. Can't go back to acting like I hate you, Lex, I won't. I'll never be able to look at you and not see this. The honesty on your face as I fuck my fingers into you."

"Oh, Jesus Christ! No, Clark. We won't go back to that. I'm done pretending." Lex was panting, forcing the words out between thrusts of nimble fingers. "Now that I know what you look like underneath those cheap suits and…brightly colored spandex…I can't fake the anger anymore. If you ever yell at me, oh, God, I'll only remember all the other things that pretty mouth can do. Fuck, another finger, Clark, stretch me wide for you."

Clark obliged, the third finger a tight fit as he tried to ready the loosening hole for the girth of his cock. He knew he was big, bigger than most human males, and he didn't want to cause Lex any undue pain, regardless of the healing abilities the older man possessed. They'd caused each other enough unwanted pain to last a lifetime.

"Now. Please, Clark," Lex begged, flexing harshly against the ties strapping him down, growing desperate as he tried to fuck himself on the broad fingers spearing him. "Please, fuck me. I want to feel you, your cock, oh, fuck, please."

Clark growled at the sound of Lex Luthor pleading with him so wantonly, the megalomaniac façade gone, just Lex, as he was always meant to be with Clark, needy and uncaring of showing it. He could feel the last few bits of whatever it was that had overtaken him fading away, leaving him with only the pure lust he had harbored for his former friend, still just as strong, still unfettered and raw. And judging by the growing, uncharacteristic but so obviously honest, desperation Lex was displaying, the effects of the flash of red light were leaving him, too. At least he could come away from this without the guilt of thinking he'd done anything to Lex that he didn't truly want.

Easing his fingers out, Clark slicked his throbbing cock and positioned the head at the rim of the stretched hole, moving to brace his hands on either side of Lex's head. He kept his gaze locked with Lex's as he started to slowly push into him, watching every minute reaction as his cock stretched him even further than his fingers had. Pausing when the body beneath him stiffened, Lex's breath hitching in his throat, he held himself halfway in, waiting for the nod to continue. The feeling of Lex surrounding him so securely, his hole clenching and grasping around the shaft of his cock, set the fire tingling behind his eyes again, and he gritted his teeth against the threatening loss of control. Inch by inch, tortuously slow for both of them, he sank into Lex.

"Yes," Lex gasped out, as Clark finally bottomed out within him, the sting of the stretch only adding to the pleasure of the fullness he felt from the huge cock invading him. He suddenly regretted being tied up, wanting nothing more than to wrap his limbs around the broad body looming above him, clutch Clark tightly to him, keep him from ever leaving his body, this bed. "God. So big. Oh, fuck, never felt so full."

Clark heaved a gusting breath as he took control of himself, fighting back the urge to thrust hard and fast into the still-adjusting body pinned beneath him. He dipped his head and captured Lex's lips with his own, kissing him deeply and hungrily as he felt the tight grip around his cock slowly relax.

"Move," Lex moaned against his lips, trying to buck down on Clark's cock, his own twitching and leaking profusely against his stomach. "Please, Clark, oh, God, need you to move!"

Clark bit at Lex's lip, pulling back at the waist to give him what he was begging for. Faster than Lex could track, Clark reached up and untied the silk wrapped around his ankles, guiding his legs around his hips as he thrust back into him. Lex yelped out in pleasure, his heels digging into the small of Clark's back.

"God, you're so tight, Lex. So perfect. Can't believe how well you take all of me, baby. Never been able to fuck anyone like this."

"Told you, Clark. You don't have to be so careful with me. Want it hard." To make his point, Lex bucked his hips, meeting Clark's next thrust with a deep moan. "Wanna feel you, oh, fuck, yeah, all of you. Everything you can't be with anyone else, be it with me. Let it go, baby, and fuck me."

"Fuck."

Kneeling up and gripping Lex's still-bound hands in his own, Clark did as Lex pleaded, his next thrust going as hard and fast as he dared, Lex's nails digging uselessly into the back of his hand as he held on tight. Lex arched into it with a loud, delighted moan, stretching his neck taut to mouth at the edges of Clark's collarbone. Taking the approval at face value, Clark thrust again, starting a quick rhythm of in and out, speed building up slightly past the limits of human motion.

"Oh, yeah, fuck, Clark, that's it. That's it, baby. Shit! Right there, please, Clark, right there." Lex felt Clark's cock pummeling his prostate, every thrust splitting him open anew, and he could feel his balls pulling up, his climax nearing the point of no return. He hadn't come untouched since he was a teenager, but he knew it was damn well going to happen now. And soon. "Don't stop! Oh, God, fuck, don't stop, baby, please. So close, Clark. So fucking close. Ohh…I love you, Clark Kent."

The last was uttered in so soft a whisper, Clark barely heard it. His rhythm faltered for the briefest fraction of a second, time slowing as he looked down into Lex's face, seeing the truth there. Time went back to normal speed as he ripped the ties from around Lex's hands, needing him free to move with him. Fingers immediately tangled in his hair, tugging him down to a pleading, gasping mouth. He kept thrusting into Lex, arms wrapping around him to pull him close, his own orgasm threatening on the edges of his control.

"I love you, too, Lex Luthor. I never stopped. Oh, God, Lex, I've always loved you, through everything. Come for me, baby, let go. Let me see you."

Lex's eyes, wide and wild, were watery as he cried out once more, his cock pulsing between their close-pressed bodies. Clark rode him through his orgasm, groaning at the renewed tightness of clenching muscles around his aching cock, stray drops of come landing high on his chest.

"Beautiful. So beautiful when you come, Lex. Oh, just fucking perfect."

Capturing sobbing lips with his own, Clark thrust one last time and stilled, his own release rocketing through him. He felt Lex's cock spurt again, an unexpected second climax catching them both by surprise as Clark filled his twitching hole, swallowing down Lex's moan.

Lex's limbs flopped limply to the mattress as he came down from his release, drained of more than just the come that covered them both. Clark, still embedded deep within him, collapsed lightly onto him, taking care not to cause injury, breathing harshly into his neck as he pulled him close.

Neither of them had recovered from their explosive orgasms before the door to the bedroom swung open with a resounding slam as it bounced back off the wall. Lois Lane stood in the doorway, staring at them, her face caught somewhere between disgust and lust as she took in their bare, tangled bodies.

"Dammit! Bruce said the spell would be worn off by now." She started marching across the large room, gathering up articles of clothing at random and tossing them on the bed. "Guess he didn't account for the red Kryptonite enhancement skewing the timetable."

"Lois."

"I don't care what your monkey brain is telling you right now, Smallville. Get dressed and release the evil CEO."

"Lois!" Clark snatched up the pair of pants thrown at his head, scrambling into them to hide his most private bits. Lex, of course, just stretched his sore muscles, spreading out like the Adonis he was, unabashed by his nakedness.

"No, Clark. You may think sex with Lex is what you want, but that's just the red K talking, okay?"

"God damn it, Lois! Stop. Whatever happened, it wore off at least twenty minutes ago. And red Kryptonite has never made me do anything I didn't want to, only took away any reasons I might have had for not acting on it. Now, please, leave."

Lois dropped the torn remains of Clark's shirt, turning back to face them again, unable to stop her gaze from drifting over towards Lex's lithe frame draped across the bed.

"Fine. But you are debriefing the League about this. I am so not going to be the one who tries to make Ollie understand that Lex is now untouchable."

"Goodbye, Ms. Lane", Lex drawled from where he was snuggling into the pillows. "Tell the Bat, no hard feelings, huh?"

With an eye roll and a huff, Lois stormed back out, the door swinging shut with another slam. Clark sank back onto the bed, somewhat deflated. He felt the mattress shift as Lex sat up, his hand sliding up to rest on the back of his shoulder.

"Guess you'll need to head off the calvary before they come barging in, too, hmm?"

Barely pausing to think about it, Clark took Lex's hand in his, tugging his pants back off with the other as he rolled over to face him. Pulling Lex into his arms, he waited until the older man finally met his gaze.

"They can wait. I've more than earned a little vacation time."

Lex smirked and allowed Clark to maneuver them both under the comforter, letting himself fall asleep in the warm embrace of the only man he'd ever loved. If Clark wasn't going to freak out over the events of the evening, then why should he? It had taken them nearly a decade to get here, and they deserved to enjoy it.

*****

@leatafandom

#smallville fanfic #clex fic #lemon #clex

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songofsaraneth · 6 months ago

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4, 21, 36

4. Favorite science fiction book(s)

Ooooh i think my Favorite piece of sci fi is actually a novella but i feel like no one is likely to ask the 'favorite novella' question so I'll list it here anyway: Silently And Very Fast by Catherynne Valente, which is available to read online in full from Clarkesworld. It's weird, it's emotional, it's a little sad, it blurs the lines about what it means to be human/a person: and that is my favorite combination of things.

Similarly, the Murderbot Diaries series as a whole is high up there for me, for their combination of fun romp, meaning of being a person, and closed-off character learning to open up.

Actual novel-books. I feel like if I read it now I would probably go "hm" about some parts that I'm sure have not aged so well but Snow Crash was formative to me as a young teen as well as to the direction science fiction itself as a genre, so i'm giving it a spot on the list.

And lastly, even Douglas Adams agreed that he was not really writing sci fi but just using a sci fi setting as a backdrop, but I can't discount my years of enjoyment from Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy either. Some runners-up (runner up's???? idk): I really enjoy the Vorkosigan Saga books though the later ones sort of decline in quality i think. But the first ones following Miles as a main character, The Warrior's Apprentice and The Vor Game, especially were a bright ray of sunshine when i was drudging through "classic" sci fi novels in 2017. Loved the Imperial Radch books because we have found again an example of my favorite trope: an AI/robot sort of entity becoming A Person (im just a sucker for nonhumanity themes). I also did really like Ninefox Gambit and The Three-Body Problem for hard sci fi, but liked the following books in their respective trilogies less. Also not a 'book' but the multimedia sort of webcomic 17776 is another story i love. ok i have to cut myself off or i'll go on forever

21. The book(s) on your school reading list you actually enjoyed

I think the book I had the most fun reading in class was in 4th grade when we did The Westing Game. It was a little mystery story and it was one of the few times I didn't just read the whole thing ahead and we'd really talk about what we thoguht was gonna happen next, whodonnit, motives, etc. And at the end my class (which was actually only like 7 people because it was the advanced reading class) all dressed up as a different character and brought in props for them and other classes came in and could talk to us and read little synopses and try to guess who did the murder themselves. Except since there were more than 7 characters we also had to make a bunch of dummys of the missing characters to sit in those chairs and afterwards the lifeless yet life-size plushie of Sydelle Pulaski lived in my basement for like. 8 years. no idea what happened to her... sorry Sydelle!

36. Your absolute most favorite character(s) from any book you've ever read.

ooouurrghhhh... this is so hard but i think just due to how immediately and profoundly i imprinted on her, and how the archtype of her character played out similarly in subsequent books and every time it ruined me like an earthquake, i have to go with Rachel from Animorphs. she's angry! she's violent! she's afraid of what that means she might become! so she lets herself become a tool for the war so she doesn't have to dwell on the question because if she does, it might break her, and they can't afford that so she shuts away those fears into a little box. uhg every time i reread the series i get 1000 emotions about her all over again.

#ramblings #replies #tumblr games #books #reading #book asks #its hard not to put ROTE characters as top top fave but i came to those books later in life and while they have RUINED me #animorphs had the 18 year advantage on affecting my formative personality and sense of self

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musubiki · 1 year ago

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btw idk if someone already asked this but do they say ily right away??? do they hook hook up right away??? i need the deets

YOU KNOW THIS IS SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE SOLID ALREADY BUT I DONT YET!!!!! i DO know that lime definitely wouldnt let a large amount of time pass between when they hook up and when he tells her hes in love with her (in either order it happens on the same night. now way hes gonna be regularly sleeping with her and still be like "but what if she doesnt like me...")

at least the version in my head i have right now, they dont get together until the post-game (after the main storyline)!! after the witch king is defeated and everything is FINALLY, for the first time since mochi became a witch, quiet and normal. (im putting the rest under a read more bc its a bit long, its just me rambling about what happens) ->

i think he would tell her during the little dinner celebration they have after the witch king is defeated. everyone is there, the witches and their guilds and sulluvan and even the merchant takes a night off to party with them (strange). mochi is outside with pom, pom probably scolding her again on "this is the way you shouldve handled the fight so all that bad stuff wouldnt have happened. you shouldve been more resourceful as a witch blah blah blah--" and lime has to come rescue mochi from poms scoldings. grabs the cat by the neck and gives her to coco (coco likes snuggling pom against her will. shes the friend that grabs cats and forces them into hugs while the cat struggles and meows)

so he stays out there with her for a bit (alone 👀), chatting about nothing. eventually he asks "So now what?" since they always had something going on. and mochi says "Now...we can finally just. rest. run the shop and help people where we can. normal witch stuff." and starts rambling about how theyll still do commissions and fun adventures and travel around and stuff but for the most part, everything will be normal and theres nothing they cant handle anymore. and after shes finally done talking lime just goes "...will you go out with me?"

(the woman was too stunned to speak meme). its a mix of emotions cuz theres a 5% chance hes joking but the look on his face is so serious. and its also not a total surprise given their very blurred line relationship but it still stuns her to hear him say it.

and in VERY tcwg fashion, of course somehow gets interrupted before she can answer him. coco or sulluvan or SOMEONE starts yelling from the house "HEY THE CATERING GUY IS HERE AND NEEDS MOCHIS SIGNATURE AND OSCARS ALREADY TRYING TO EAT YOU NEED TO HANDLE THIS ASAP!!!" and lime is ready to kill somebody. the rest of the night mochi cant get a second alone with him and every time they make eye contact across the table they both get flustered.

the next day lime probably had to report in or something and mochis groaning to coco about "Noooo i didnt even get to respond what if he hates me!!!" and lime stressing over "Was I too forward...? No way right..??" (hes not overly stressed. at that point hes decided to just be dedicated to being unapologetically in love with her. he has a PRETTY good idea that shed say yeah but in the off chance shes like "nooo" then he decided to love her anyway and just be there for her)

so as soon as he comes home mochi is like "Hey!! Lime!! so uh!! I just remembered I need to go hunting for ingredients in (insert remote getaway she has access to)!! I was wondering if you wanna!! Come with me!!" the whole time red-faced and fidgeting with her braid. lime, bag in hand goes "I'm ready. Lets go now." (pom is like "mmm adventures yum" and mochis like "ahah....just lime." and forces her to stay there)

when they get there (via mochis magic doorway portals), and lime sets his stuff down, and mochi is there stammering and red in the face trying to get her words out, mumbling like "Lime! Uh! About yesterday!! I wanted to!! Um!! Well!! I wanna--//"

and before she can even get proper words out, he grabs her by her waist, pushes her against the counter and kisses her. its one of those deep, passionate, hands-all-over-her kisses. and when he breaks away from her, he nuzzles her hair and presses his forehead to hers and tells her he loves her. he tells her EVERYTHING. how he thinks about her day and night, he misses her when he has to leave, he loves her laugh and her smile and the softness of her touch and the feeling of her warmth on him, and he loves the tone of her voice and the way she cares and does little things for him, and every time he looks at her it makes his whole day. and he tells her how just knowing her has made him a better person and he wouldnt be anything without her. and how hed love her no matter what or no matter how long or no matter if this is something she wants or not, hed love her anyway.

he gives her little kisses between each thing he tells her, and by the end of it shes crying (getting back to the thing i was talking about a few asks ago). she hugs him tightly around his neck with her tears dripping on his uniform and tells him shes loved him her whole life and was always terrified to tell him because she didnt want him to leave and she knows how he generally was with other girls who have crushes on him. as soon as lime hears the "I've loved you my whole life" thing though, his response is "WHAT?! THAT LONG?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?!!" and feels a tinge of being pissed off that he couldve had her this WHOLE TIME, to which she responds "I WAS SCARED!!"

and he smirks at her and says "God, you really are literally a scaredy-cat." and shes still crying lowkey so just leans forward into his chest and muffles out a "Shut up you jerk." and he just stares at her for a bit, stroking her hair and planting little kisses on her head, and asks "...do you really love me?" because hes still in disbelief and this doesnt feel real, to which she reminds him that she (as a witch) will always always always love him and never stop loving him for the rest of her life.

so lime kisses her again. and again., and starts escalating it because god knows now that he has the green light there is NOTHING stopping him from having her. probably lifts her up and carries her into the bedroom to have his way with her

(funny tidbit though-- they were originally gonna stay there for like a week because lime wants her all to himself for a while to get all the s*xual frustration out of his system. he thought once he finally gets to be with her then he would have a better grip on how much he wants her, but in fact it makes it worse. so they end up staying there for like 2-3 weeks and even then they had to be forced to come back because oscar was tired of running the shop by himself and they were fucking up the business)

#anyway. enjoy the read if you wanna read the whole thing #this is one version!! so not set in stone #bpp #text #lore #there could very well be a version where they hook up first if lime at some point is pushed too far and breaks #either way the two events are very closely correlated so if one happens the other will also happen #the last paragraph is why theyre not allowed to be together until after everything is handled because lime would need her far too often

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narasgifs · 8 months ago

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I have to scream about Lust, Caution a bit more because it's just one of those films that alters your brain chemistry for a while. Everything below the cut bc spoilers, and triggers, and this is long. (It's also not a review or analysis or anything I just had to ramble about it and now I feel better lol)

For how simple the premise of this movie is - seducing and killing the enemy - it was so complex.

Firstly, what really didn't come through the trailer I saw on imdb was how it all started. As in: this was originally no organized secret service effort but a bunch of theater kids deciding to murder a man lol And I have to acknowledge that historically speaking it is extremely common for political resistance movements to include a lot of university students. So it's great because it both makes the plot more realistic, but it also adds a level of absurdity because it becomes clear early on that these guys are very much in over their heads, and don't know what they are doing. I mean they are really talented actors. But they have no idea how to kill a man. And when they get there to actually kill someone it gets really messy. (It's also not the guy they set out to kill.)

I feel like this beginning also gave Wong a lot more agency than I expected, and I really appreciated that. Because with a lot of similar plots, the heroine often gets pushed into this plan against her will. (She is trained to be a spy, or she is the only one who can do it, etc.) Here, there is some peer pressure, of course, but she decided quite freely to get involved in it at first, and then she again made that decision a few years later. Also, in my understanding, she was the one who initiated the whole seduction bit of the plan when she wrote down her number where Yee could see it. The others in the group were clearly uncomfortable with the idea at first. (A lot more uncomfortable than with the idea of putting a bullet through a man's head.)

So you know, I liked that I felt like her own choices put her into these situations, basically.

I also found it interesting, how from the moment Wong stepped on stage, you couldn't really tell anymore when she was acting and when she wasn't. Obviously, she played different roles, but for example, in the first part, when she rushed to the phone, she looked so giddy, and it was only her friends around so there was no need to act that way, if there wasn't a little bit of honesty in that. (She also looked pretty heartbroken when she learned they were moving away. More than a failed mission warranted.)

Or when later she tells the leader of the operation that they should act soon and how Yee is hurting her... At that point, the things that happened between them were pretty consensual. Yeah, he was being a dick throughout, but at that time he wasn't intentionally being cruel anymore, I think. There was more of the risk of what ended up happening, that she would actually fall in love. But the way she warned them was also a bit of an act.

So idk I just really enjoyed the genius actress thing, and how the lines between act and reality blurred by the end of it. Because I felt like what really managed to capture Yee were the honest, playful parts of her, the parts of her that she let shine through the act.

The chemistry was obviously incredible between the two main characters, and the acting, and the way it was filmed were so beautiful. There was this constant push and pull between them. From the beginning, they were just looking at each other so intensely, that it was clear how much of an attraction there was. But then they had so much trouble reaching for each other. Yee was obviously extremely heavy-handed at first. But you could tell that sometimes even he recognized that he overstepped, and then he would try to touch her more gently, but he would be extremely clumsy about it. And then he would get frustrated and go back to violence. Meanwhile, when Wong tried to touch him more gently, he would push her away, because that just wasn't something that he was used to allowing himself. I just loved how much of this was communicated without words.

And that is exactly why I liked the sex scenes too. I read that this was made based on a book and that the book didn't have all these scenes. And that obviously the whole thing got censored to bits in mainland China and got quite a bit of pushback. (Because of the nudity and but also the political part of the ending.)

Personally, I think the sex scenes were an amazing addition, and if anyone says that intimate scenes don't add to character development or the plot then I will shove this movie in front of their face lol (No I won't bc this movie could be pretty triggering, but it's also a great example of how sex scenes can be well done and I'm passionate about that okay?)

Even the first one between them, that is SA (there is no question about that) even that one had its place. It shows who Yee is: the man who orders another one to die in the first two minutes of the movie, and someone whose job is to torture people. It also shows that he is extremely paranoid, and doesn't trust her, so he would rather hurt her and take control of the situation. Because, let's face it, she made it pretty clear that she was there to have sex with him. He didn't need to force it. He just wanted to rattle her and restrain her because... well, because he's an asshole, ruthless secret police chief. (And because there were already two other women who tried to kill him by seducing him, you know) I'm not trying to justify his actions, or anything, but what happened was pretty in line with his character.

The whole movie that far showed that he was a very dangerous man, but that scene just really cemented that he was a threat even to her.

And it also showed a lot about her. I lost my mind when afterwards she was lying on the bed and she just smiled... Like... she was not as upset about what happened as you might have expected??? And you could interpret it in a lot of ways. As a feeling of accomplishment that she did manage to do what she set out to do with her acting... Or idk, hell, to me it was clear that our girl had some daddy issues. That with her father taking her brother with him and leaving her in a warzone and everything. And you know, Yee must have been like twice her age. It also kind of went back to that conversation they were having when he told her that he saw that she wasn't afraid.

Anyways, it was also obviously shot in a way that was sexy, in the same way we can find some non-con fanfic sexy and art should be allowed to do that.

There was nothing remotely healthy about this, obviously, but it was also really complex and I liked that.

And then every other sex scene was not just beautifully shot, and not your typical missionary setup, but you could also see the character development in them. Wong discovering her sexuality, for one. Especially, if you compare any of those scenes to the one with the other student.

The other thing you could see in those scenes was how they started to trust each other more. Yee stops restraining her and lets her touch him. In some of those shots, he's just lying on the bed and letting her get all over him.

And then there is the one where she looks at his gun, and he catches her looking... And then instead of making a big deal out of it, he lets her pull the pillow over his eyes?? (And they both seem to really enjoy that one... ) That scene really spelled out everything between the lines.

The way I like to think about it is that by the end of it, they both must have known deep down who and what kind of person the other one was. He knew she wasn't honest with him. And she knew that he wouldn't hesitate to sign their death warrants. And they fall for each other anyway. She chose him over herself and all of her friends. And he was absolutely heartbroken by the end.

I loved this movie, and I loved the characters' dynamics, and I loved the acting.

#so fucked up #but so delicious #lust caution #okay I think I'm done talking about this #I just had to get that all off my chest lol #nara rambles #dead dove do not eat

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purrincess-chat · 2 years ago

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I must admit that the idea of prpr is so deeply ingrained in the fandom culture that it's hard to give up on it. I saw lots of old fanarts of Adrienette, and they all are supposed to be post-reveal. I remember reading a reddit post saying that Adrienette basically cannot happen pre-reveal. Even when S5 has started airing, fans speculated that if they dated pre-reveal, there wouldn't be more than one date, and then they would inevitably break up. I think those who are upset about pre-reveal Adrienette, are mostly upset about the fact that they couldn't foresee that.

I've talked about this a little before, but fandom is a double edged sword. It's perfectly fine to speculate about what you think is going to happen or to come up with headcanons or AUs or silly ideas that are fun, but that's all they are. Speculation and fun. You have to draw a line between canon and fanon and also recognize that all of these analysis posts (even mine) while they may sound smart and true, we are all operating off of limited information, and therefore none of our takes are 100% accurate. People get stuff wrong all the time because new episodes come out that completely change the game. The analysis I wrote yesterday could be completely uprooted by a single episode if canon so decided. That's why I tell people to take everything you read in fandom with a grain of salt. Because even the "smartest" and most well thought out takes can be wrong because we don't have all of the episodes. I'm not an authority on this show by any means, nor is any other fan. Even the fans that got hired by Zag aren't privy to every single detail about the show. They know what they're told, and even then, stuff can change last minute. It's fine to speculate about what we think is going to happen, but if we're wrong, that's not canon's fault.

And look, prpr is a fun idea in fanon, but I never foresaw it being canon. Look at the what if episodes, those two jumped immediately to being a couple, so I never had a reason to think the actual reveal would be any different. The thing about building up these fanon ideas in your head is it sets an unrealistic expectation for canon, and you're setting yourself up for disappointment. You have to separate the two. Keep fanon in fandom, and let canon tell the story it intends to. Because the thing is, we aren't the ones in the writing room. We don't know all of their plans or what things need to happen in order for the plot to work. We can speculate all day long based on the little clues we have, but canon can still throw a curve ball. I mean, after the s4 finale, did we expect to get reverse love square and canon Adrinette midway through s5? Clearly not 😂 But here we are. Canon is going to do what canon is going to do whether we like it or not. It's fine to not particularly like some decisions canon makes, everyone has preferences, but to say canon is ruined or bad or should have done some popular fan idea instead is not only entitled behavior it's also childish lol. Canon is ruined for you. And that's fine. But it doesn't mean canon is inherently bad just because you didn't care for the direction it's going in. A lot of people would do well to remember they are one person, and no one is making them watch. If they don't like canon anymore, don't watch it anymore. 🤷‍♀️ As some have pointed out, there are tons of shows that do high school romance better, so go watch one of those.

Idk, I think people are crossing too many lines and blurring fanon with canon. Fan ideas are meant to be fun for fans, not to influence and predict canon. If something makes it into the show or we guess something correctly, great, but that's not guaranteed or owed to us. There also isn't a rule that says if canon contradicts your fan idea that you have to stop doing it in fandom? Fans can still write, draw, and make headcanons for prpr or romantic LadyNoir if they want, but like it or not, Adrinette is still canon, yall. Even all the way up to episode 20, and I doubt it's going to change in the last few episodes. Get used to it. Or go watch something else idc 🤷‍♀️

#cat replies #asks #ml spoilers #s5 discourse

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henriklarsen · 2 years ago

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TASK 001; NPCs

Annika Larsen | August 1971 - February 2017 | Status: DECEASED

Annika had always been a giving person, even in her youth. She dreamed of being a school teacher, of having her own gaggle of children to look after - dreams that she held onto even when she was still a child herself. Raised with a number of younger siblings to look after, she learned the ropes of childcare from an early age.

She met Fredrik in high school and knew then that he was the man for her. It was like a switch was flipped - that was how she described it years later. He’d shown up on her doorstep with a Tupperware container of chicken noodle soup and his notes from all the classes she’d missed due to getting her wisdom teeth removed, and in that was the moment she said she’d fallen in love - even coupled with the embarrassment of being seen with the swelling in her cheeks still going down.

They were married when she was freshly out of college and just beginning her career in teaching science to elementary students. When she and Fredrik began trying - and for a while, failing - to have children, it broke her heart. But the holes were filled by those she temporarily adopted while they sat in her classroom, bright faces open and eager.

When Henrik finally came along, she spoiled him silly. She’d bend to his every demand (within reason, of course), snuggle up with him in bed while reading a bedtime story until his eyelids grew heavy. She was the type of mother, when Henrik was school age, that would write little notes and doodles in his lunch (’you’re one smart cookie!’) that would hopefully bring a smile to his face if he were having a tough day.

Even when the infection hit and everything changed, a family living life on the run, in their own little corner of the world, Annika never stopped trying to make it the best she could for her son. She took over where his schooling left off as if nothing had ever really changed. Hopeful that maybe this infection would blow over as quickly as it had come. She taught him some of her ‘favorite’ recipes to make, ones that, on reflection, were likely made up on the fly with whatever ingredients they happened to have on hand at the time. She patched up scraped knees. Transplanted flowers around whatever place they were calling home. She tried to make life as closely passable to what it once was so that when they finally got back to it, it would be as if nothing had ever changed.

But eventually that dream had to come to an end when she shoos Henrik out the back door of the cabin they’d been calling home, watches to insure he’s running in the direction she can only hope is safety, before standing beside her husband and taking down as many of the infected that had come to find them as possible so that they cannot get to her boy. (fc; amelia curtis)

Fredrik ‘Rik’ Larsen | January 1970 - February 2017 | Status: DECEASED

Where Henrik inherited his intelligence from his mother (a statement that never failed to come up in conversation with family friends - ‘that boy is all Annika’) his perseverance and athleticism came from his father. Even before the infection, father and son were often seen going on camping trips together, always turning events into competitions. Who could catch the bigger fish when out fishing on the water, who could make the most baskets on the basketball court, and who could touch the rim of the basketball hoop (the answer to the last being Henrik, with the help of his father hoisting him into the air to do so).

Fredrik worked in construction and contracting, picking up odd jobs here and there on top. There was something to be said about envisioning a project and then seeing it come to life, despite bumps along the way. He’d always been an adaptable and easy going kind of guy, and he caught Henrik emulating such traits, always observing his father with a watchful eye and a curious gaze. There was nothing the man could do wrong, after all - and Fredrik did his best to live up to the expectations of his son even when he so often fell short of his own.

When Henrik turned sixteen, Fredrik didn’t hesitate to teach his son how to drive, even if the car he was teaching him in was one that certainly didn’t belong to the family and had been started without the turn of a key. Being able to drive would be a skill that would be endlessly useful, even if the world never did return to what it once was.

On top of learning to drive, he taught him other survival skills along the way - how to hunt, how to scavenge, how to hold a rifle, how to string and shoot a bow an arrow. They’re all things that Fredrik is forced to teach himself to ensure he and his family survive through this infection, most things he never would’ve thought he’d need to know. But when it’s turned into a game, a competition, there is no doubt that Henrik would do his best to learn it.

It’s not until much later that he’ll realize it’s those skills learned that have help kept him alive all this time.

Fredrik’s last day is beside his wife, holding back the infected when it’s too late for them to run but they still have the option to ensure their son is safe. (fc; jonas karlsson)

#tasks #task 001 - NPCs #ft; annika larsen #ft; fredrik larsen #//idk what happened here i set out for little blurs and had no idea what i was going to write and then this monstrosity happened #//i shall go back to hiding in my hole now

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omiscurls · 3 years ago

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Diluc, zhongli and childe reaction to their s/o breaking up with them after something they said, maybe after a week or so after they argument they think the s/o forgave them but they break up instead? I WANT THE ANGST

consequences

plot: reader decides to break up with the character after not speaking to them

contains: diluc, zhongli, tartaglia (idk how am i going to do this to my special boy but ill try my best)

warnings: angst, breakups, implied past toxic behavior

a/n: OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO HARD- I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO BREAKUP WITH PEOPLE

diluc

hopeless thoughts ran through your head as you fought with yourself about wether to enter angel’s share or not, hand halfway through to the doorknob. your mind hadn’t been made up just yet, you were still in between two very different scenarios - the urge to forgive him for his hurtful words growing stronger each day, as anger and other emotions subdued to loneliness and the feeling of a part of you missing, ever since the two of you stopped talking.

your mind flashed back to the exact moment when you looked into diluc’s eyes, always so soft and calm for you, forming a way of anger he never expressed towards you before. to the feeling you got right then and there that this man is not the same one you’ve met and fell in love with.

the process of coming to terms with that conclusion was as painful as the first strike of his angry glare, and even though he seemed to have realized the weight of his words right after saying them out loud, no matter how hard you tried, you could not erase them from your memory.

one strike of that pain, one memory of that night was enough to make you go through with your plan, door to the bar opening with a little screech.

it was like just another late afternoon, with charles tending the bar, knights and townsfolk filling the hot room, and the smell of alcohol traveling through the air.

“hi” you said to the bartender “is master diluc around?”

charles, busy with his work, quickly replied that he’s out back, opening a barrel. you nodded and went where his directions guided, pushing open yet another door to see the back of the man you loved, looking just as always from this angle, working over said chore. he didn’t even seem to mind the fact that someone walked in on him working.

“diluc” you said with a sigh, and he almost immediately turned around, tools falling from his hands and onto the ground.

“darling, hi” he replied quietly, walking over to you but stopping half way, eyes set to analyze your expression, figure out what was going on in your mind. “i’m glad you’re here safely, i haven’t heard from you in over a week” he added cautiously, as if weighing every word before deciding to say it out loud.

“well” you sighed again, once again going over wether you should actually break things off right then, mind taking pity on his troubled expression, tired eyes, on the obvious eyebags that were much more apparent than before, a sign that he didn’t catch too much sleep. “i had to come to terms with what i’m about to say”

he wanted to tell you he was sorry, he really did, but words didn’t seem to come out of his throat. obviously he was sorry, it was a bad day and he meant none of what he said, but you knew that, right? you knew he always cared for you and loved you… right?

he wasn’t the best with words, hence, the idea of apologizing with a gesture after you were done teaching him his lesson came to mind. a brilliant idea, one could never go wrong with a thoughtful deed for their significant other, just give him one more chance.

“and my conclusion is, we need to take a step back and… reevaluate things in our lives. i’m not saying this is the ultimate end, but what you’ve said, and how you’ve said it made me realize…”

you were making a good point. you were talking about your feelings. he should listen, but the only thing he heard was the blood pumping through his veins, and the two single words

the end

so there won’t be another chance? he won’t be able to prove himself? what do you mean, the end? the best thing that ever happened to him in his sad life was coming to an end because of him? but he was so careful, he treated you like his treasure, because that’s how he truly felt, like his lifeline, something he could never lose…

and all it took was one sentence too much, one glare too intense. for the first time in what, six, maybe seven years, his eyes began to water, as he blinked the tears back at a rapid pace.

“… and that was a shitty thing to do. i hope you know that. i don’t know if i had anything else i wanted to say, perhaps i did, but… that’s all. see you around, i guess” you mumbled, loosing confidence in what you were saying, taking one last glance at his lost eyes before turning around.

turning around from him, from the love of your life, was perhaps the hardest thing you ever had to do, and yet you did do it.

before you could reach the door again, though, a cold hand caught your forearm. your eyes met his, with just a glimmer of hope that he would magically say all the right words and somehow make you stay, you didn’t want to leave, yet knew you had to. if you wanted to preserve the respect you had for yourself, you had to leave.

why were you giving him time to say something?

his helpless gaze seemed to speak with a thousand words, begging, pleading you to not leave through that door, but as much as his lips did part, not a single word left.

he couldn’t say anything to hold you back, and you ripped away from his grip, turned, and walked away.

and just like that,

he was all alone, again.

he was gonna need a drink.

zhongli

tears flooded your vision, blurring every details of zhongli’s face, causing you to only see a pale color palette, instead of your favorite person, ever. maybe it was for the best, maybe it would make it easier, you thought, but that was a foolish thing to hope for.

even through the salty tears, you could make out his eyes, it’s glow never failing to guide you, and comfort you, now seeming to burn their way through you, through your body and soul.

“you’re stuck in another love, zhongli, we both know that!” you exhaled a bit louder than you intended to, the outcome sounding more like an accusation than a fact. “how can you ever say you love me, when it’s so obvious, and so apparent, that every time you look at me, you see someone else? you HOPE for someone else?”

you could only wish the words you spoke didn’t come out as a complete mess, because of those tears you were constantly choking on. desperation seeped through your voice, as the feeling of helplessness rose every time you looked at your lover and at the anguish, and confusion he presented.

how could he make this so hard? it’s not like you’ve presented some statement he didn’t know already, right?

you hoped your eyes would say all the things you didn’t trust your voice to. you hoped he’d somehow hear how all you ever wanted was to be enough, was to meet his standard, how it tore you open that every time he said <i love you> his eyes wandered everywhere but onto yours, how all his touches seemed absent, how all his compliments were truly about some other face, some other smile, some other kind soul.

the worst part was, how could you blame him? how can anyone, ever, blame someone for being in love, of all things? love was something beautiful, and once you’ve experienced it, you’re drowned in it forever, and don’t even want to see the surface again.

love is beautiful. when you’re the one who’s receiving it. love was beautiful, to you, too, when you loved how his wisdom flew through his words, how his kindness hugged your spirit, how his aura brought you comfort. you loved his eyes, you loved his cheeks, his lips, every single detail of his skin.

the love you felt made you complete, made you warm, until you finally realize the thing you should’ve seen much sooner.

that you were merely a mirror for him to look at someone else, someone long gone.

suddenly all the warmth you felt was directed back at you, burning you inside, making you wish you never felt it in the first place.

“aren’t you gonna say something?” you whispered.

his long fingers found their way to your hand, but you snatched it away.

if you fell onto his charms now, you wouldn’t be able to get out once more.

his breath hitched as he gathered himself to speak

“i want nothing more than to love you” he said, although quietly, it rang through your ears like the loudest of screams.

you scoffed.

“we both would’ve wanted that, then”

“and i’m sure i can, if you just—“

now, laughter was all that you were capable of letting out.

“zhongli, you can’t train yourself to love someone. and even if you could, then how do you think that would make me feel? like i’m so unlovable you had to force yourself through it to grow accustomed to a feeling similar to love?”

“that’s not what i—“

“that’s what it means! let it go, please, please just… let me go” you sighed, standing up from the bench over at liyue harbor that you were sitting on. the sun has begun to set on the other side of the sea, and you couldn’t help but notice, it would’ve been the perfect date.

“i do sincerely hope you’ll find someone who’ll love you just the same” he finally stated, as he gave up on trying to make you stay.

“why?” you chuckled “so i could make them suffer the same way you made me?”

tartaglia

(archons give me strength)

you found nothing but guilt, looking into the endless ocean trapped in his eyes. for the first time in forever, they glistened, but not with a spark of joy, like you always hoped they would, they shone a sickly shine, caused by a thin layer of tears, that didn’t dear to spill over his porcelain cheeks, almost as if afraid of making contact with the ruthless face of the number eleven of the fatui harbingers.

he could’ve easily been crying if only he let himself go. he would’ve been in tears, sniffing and coughing, but he just… wasn’t. he held those tears in the gates of his eyes, as if his life depended on it.

the guilt you found inside them, wasn’t his, but yours. you felt guilty, watching this composed, confident man fall into pieces right before you, crumbling before your sight. why were you doing this? you seemed to forget all those terrible things you’ve heard just from the way his irises begged for forgiveness and brows furrowed in inexplicable sadness.

but you couldn’t, no, this time you couldn’t.

“my word” you swore on dear life you’d burst into tears if your voice shook right now “my word is final. we’re over. and that’s… that’s it. you need to understand that there won’t be another chance.”

the moment his lips parted, you knew you were lost.

“i have told you so many times already, but i will say this as much as i need to, it will never happen again! i swear, on everything i love and everything that i am, i swear on life itself, i won’t ever let that happen again! you know i won’t! come on, i promise you, if there’s anything you can say about me is i do keep my promises, don’t i? darling, please…”

“promise yourself to heal and become better, first” you stated coldly, watching faith disappearing slowly from his fixed look.

“im sorry, you know i am, im sorry, im sorry, im so fucking sorry!” a scream left his throat as desperation took over both reason and self-respect.

“sorry isn’t gonna cut it”

“then what will? i’ll do anything, anything in the world, anything to prove myself to you. i get that you can’t love me, i understand that, but please, let me win your trust again.”

he said unnaturally calmly, compared to what he did before, and you got concerned immediately.

i understand that you can’t love me, his words rang through your head. oh god, what were you doing? guilt stroke again, right at where you felt your heart to be.

right when you wanted to turn around and leave, he must’ve sensed that, and pulled you into a tight embrace. not suffocating, as they often describe it, not toxic and desperate, but… as loving as every other hug you’ve ever received from him. as calming and grounding, even though you could feel his heart racing. he didn’t refuse for you to leave, he didn’t trap you.

you understood after a while,

he was saying goodbye. all the love trapped inside his heart seeped out onto you, all his feelings surrounding and engulfing you.

“let me promise you this” he whispered, voice shaking painfully “the next time i’ll see you, i’ll be a better man. someone you will be able to be proud of, someone worthy of both your trust, and love. i won’t stop until i’ll be enough for you to look at me without the disgust and fear you have now. i promise. i’ll be better.”

“until then, then.” was the only thing you were capable of saying before leaving.

as soon as the door shut behind you, you rested against a wall and covered your mouth with a hand, unable to hold your tears any longer.

you heard a cry through the door. so he does have some feelings left, after all

your daily reminder that requests are open [here]

#genshin angst #genshin impact #diluc angst #zhongli angst #childe angst #diluc x reader #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin impact x reader #gender neutral reader

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davnittbraes · 2 years ago

Text

The First Step - Chapter Five

Part of The World Is Light, Embodied.

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader (eventually)

Rating: Explicit (not in this chapter but the series is so

Word Count: 4400

Warnings etc: Reader insert, female reader, anxiety, alcohol consumption, angsty yearning and tension, I hate slow burns why am I doing this to myself

Notes: I have no idea if alcohol is illegal on Kinyen, but the Gran don’t tolerate it well and the only mention of any kind of cantina on their home planet is a “speakeasy” in Capra so I figured it’s probably outlawed? Idk. Am I overthinking this? Definitely. Moving on. I’m making stuff up about houjix here, though now I really want one.

Please check out the Series Masterlist page for more info.

Hyperspace lines blur past the transparisteel, painting the cockpit in a faint white glow, the hum of the engines a hypnotic counterpart. Takodana is only moments behind you, but far enough away that the sting of the bruises on your arm aren’t so distracting anymore.

A heavy silence lies over the small space. And not the kind of silence you like.

This silence is buzzing with tension and anticipation. It crawls along your skin, quickening your pulse, trying to twitch your fingers and shift your hips in your seat.

There are questions coming. Questions about what had just happened, about your past. You have to find some way to answer without lying - the bounty hunter will be able to tell if you lie, you have no doubt about that.

Mando sits back in his chair, visor on the transparisteel, but you can feel his gaze, like he’s looking at you out of the corner of his eye. Training your expression into a mask of innocent politeness, you silently wait for him to do or say something.

Time passes, minutes ticking by along with the lines of hyperspace.

He doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak.

He’s waiting you out, waiting for you to break, and even though you know that, it’s not helping the anxiety bubbling up hot in the pit of your stomach.

Ok, you can’t take it anymore. “So where are we headed?”

The helmet turns ever-so-slightly toward you, his voice low and calm. “That depends. Is ‘Katye’ your real name?”

Kriff. Right to the point, no surprise there.

You need to be careful, figure out how to respond without giving too much -

Stop.

I can’t keep doing this.

You chose to follow him - twice, now - knowing how dangerous he is for you.

This is a consequence of your decision. A consequence you accepted in exchange for following whatever it is that keeps pulling you together.

And he’s been… good to you. Kind, polite - well, maybe not by some social standards but the effort was there, at least. He’s helped you get out of trouble despite having no real obligation to you.

Maybe you… maybe you can trust him. A little.

And he’s got the kid to think of. You can’t blame him for wanting to know who you are, with the little guy to protect.

He needs honesty, now.

As much as you can give him.

Turning slightly in your chair, you face him, and the helmet swivels to look at you. “I’ll answer your question as best I can. But there are some things… I can’t talk about parts of my life. I understand your reasons for being suspicious - pfassk, I’m practically a blaring signal horn to a bounty hunter, I get that. So if my answer isn’t enough, I’ll stay where you can keep an eye on me until we hit dirt again, then I’ll leave and we can forget we ever met.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then shifts to face you fully, resting his hands on his thighs. “Tell me what you can.”

The soft tone of his words throws you off for a moment. The fact that he wants to respect your boundaries - and give you a chance to set them - is not what you were expecting from a man who commands the space around him, silently daring anyone and anything to contradict him.

Your throat is dry, you swallow hard and take a deep breath. “‘Katye’ was the name I went by when I was working with Bril’s crew. He found me living on the streets, and I didn’t have anyone, family or friends. I needed money, a place to stay. So I joined him.”

Memories threaten to pull you into the past and you move your gaze to the control console, not really seeing the mysterious switches and knobs, just needing a neutral space to look at. “They treated me like one of their own at first, and I thought I was safe with them. We did jobs, mostly small-time smuggling and robberies. Eventually though, we started to get attention, and Bril wanted us to go after a risky target with a bigger take so we could go underground for a while, wait for the heat to die off.”

A sharp smile curves your lips. “Of course, what I didn’t know was that they had figured out a more efficient way to get a bigger payday and deflect attention - by setting me up to take the fall. But the job went bad, I realized what their real plan was and I escaped. Took what credits I had been promised and left, started over.”

He’s still for a moment, a silent statue of silver, black and brown. When he speaks, his tone is oddly amused. “That’s where you learned to fight like you do.”

“What do you mean, ‘like I do?’” Frowning at him, you shift in your seat. “I’m no Mandalorian, I’m not professionally trained or whatever, but I can defend myself.”

He lifts a hand slightly, a flicker of orange-fingered leather in a subtle placating gesture. “You fight like someone who has done it to survive. You don’t hold back, you fight with everything you’ve got.”

“Because I am everything I’ve got.” Emotion pulls at your chest, and you shove it away forcefully.

That’s an old wound, should be healed by now, for crikk’s sake.

“I… can understand that.”

That same emotion is in his modulated voice.

Right. Mandalorian.

Silence ticks by, and you try to find some way to stop it, something to say to divert from the last words exchanged. But your chest is too tight, and your eyes are stinging, and you know if you try to speak right now you’re just going to humiliate yourself.

He moves, leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees. It’s a strangely defenseless position for him, as if he’s trying to make himself seem smaller. “The kid and I are… laying low. There are people who want to take him, dangerous people. I’m charged with keeping him safe.”

A pang of concern flashes through your chest. “Who?”

The helmet tilts, black visor considering. “I can’t tell you.”

You fall into silence again, meeting his unseen gaze, chewing on your bottom lip. There’s a tentative trust building in the space between you, one that you don’t want to break. “Ok. We both have secrets. I’ll respect yours, as you respect mine.”

He nods once, sitting back in his chair. “Is there anyone else you’re avoiding?”

“I… yes. But I will tell you if I think we’re going to cross paths with them.” You meet that black visor’s gaze steadily, pushing as much sincerity and honesty into your words as you can. “And I won’t let my past endanger the kid. I promise you that.”

You let your words fall and land as they will. That’s all you can say. If that’s not enough… well, whatever is drawing you to him, that intense attraction that pervades even your dreams, it’s not worth giving up your truth.

For a moment he doesn’t move or speak, just looks at you, weight of his gaze pressing you into the seat.

Then he stands abruptly. “You can stay with us until you find a suitable place to start over.” The atmosphere in the cockpit shifts, tension dissipating. “We’ll reach Kinyen in about sixteen hours. I don’t have a bunk, but you can find a space in the hold for yourself. There’s extra blankets in storage.”

He turns before you can say anything, two strides and he’s dropping down into the hold in a flurry of silver and black, leaving you staring at the empty place where he had stood.

Wait -

Springing out of your seat, you follow him, skimming down the ladder and landing lightly on your feet. He pauses, turning to look back at you, an obvious question in the tilt of his helmet.

You freeze.

Pfassk, he’s right there, barely made it a step from the ladder, his tall frame and broad shoulders block out the lights above him, cast him in shadow, pull you into the darkness. He’s so close, you could touch him if you wanted, just reach out and feel -

The thick fabric of duraweave over solid muscle scratches faintly under your fingertips, warmth of the skin beneath quickly bleeding through. Blinking rapidly, you look down and realize your hand is curled around his bicep, right below his pauldron, gripping lightly but firmly as if afraid he’ll slip out of reach.

Oh.

You hadn’t meant to -

It was almost involuntary, like you couldn’t help yourself -

Pfassk.

That’s a terrifying concept.

“Thank you.” The words burst from your lips, a little too loud, edged with the bewildered anxiety boiling in your thoughts. Taking a breath, you try again. “Thank you for stepping in back there, with-with Bril. And for… for letting me stay, even though I can’t tell you everything you want to know.”

The helmet tips in a silent nod. Then he looks down at your hand, still wrapped around his arm.

Dank farrik. You’re still touching him and now it’s weird and awkward and you pull your hand away -

Smooth leather grasps your fingers.

You stop breathing.

His gloved hand curves around yours, thumb brushing over your knuckles, words falling softly into the space between you. “Everyone’s got their own armour of sorts.”

Then he’s gone, turning and striding away out of sight, leaving you standing there, hand hovering in the air as his last words repeat in your mind.

Everyone’s got their own armour of sorts.

The words are your own, said to him after thinking you’d pushed too hard, making him uncomfortable about never taking off his helmet. Not an apology but something more meaningful.

A statement of acceptance.

Realization runs through your body in a tremor.

Your secrets are your armour, carefully placed over the delicate parts of you, keeping you safe from harm.

But you’d never told anyone about your time with Bril and his crew. Not even the few people in your life who had managed to slide into something like a friendship with you. No, you had kept that secret close, just like all the others.

Until today.

Yes, your secrets are your armour. And somehow, the Mandalorian had slipped underneath it.

*****

Capra was one of the only places on Kinyen to get a decent drink, so even if the city wasn’t nestled along the Saeduree River, a bright blue tract of freshwater that shimmered beautifully in the sunlight, you would have loved it anyway.

There was a little speakeasy on a side street in the northwest quarter, shoved in-between an electronics repair shop and a fabric store. Since the native Kinyen species, the Gran, couldn’t biologically tolerate alcohol, it was legally prohibited planet-wide, though you were pretty sure the local authorities were well aware of the speakeasy and chose to look the other way.

The Gran might be generally sober, but the non-Gran who came to Capra were usually not, and the locals understood the importance of making sure their business partners and tourists were comfortable and relaxed, ideally with a bit of an alcoholic buzz in their system to ease negotiations and help lighten wallets.

You were settled into a cozy corner of the speakeasy with the kid floating in his pod beside you, on the opposite side of the room from the Mandalorian and the Ithorian he was speaking with. They were talking in hushed tones too soft for you to make out what they were saying.

Which was fine, you hadn’t come along to pry into Mando’s business - you figure the only reason he’d agreed to let you come with him was because he was more reluctant to leave you alone on the ship than he was to reveal who he was meeting with. He hadn’t said so, but you had sensed his internal struggle, and suggested your current situation, with you keeping the kid out of trouble while staying far enough away not to accidentally overhear whatever it was Mando was discussing with the Ithorian.

“Kriff, kid, chew before you swallow or you’ll end up ruining another robe.” You reach over and take the sweetcake out of his tiny hands, breaking it up into smaller chunks for him to eat.

He burbles at you cheekily, but he does slow down at least.

Sitting back in your chair, you take a sip from the glass of whisky you’d bought - a couple fingers of Corellian. Not enough to affect you, obviously, since you were babysitting. But enough to settle in your stomach, warm and heavy. And encourage your thoughts to drift as you watch the kid snack away.

What was the little guy to the Mandalorian, anyway? You’re pretty sure the kid isn’t biologically Mando’s - ears like that couldn’t fit under a helmet - unless Mom’s genes were extra strong. Besides, Mando had said he was “charged with protecting” the child, which didn’t sound like a typical father-child relationship. But who would give the kid to someone who couldn’t speak his language? And why to a lone, Mandalorian bounty hunter?

Your thoughts come up blank. It’s no use, you don’t have enough information to come to any kind of conclusion about Mando and the kid.

Movement draws your attention. A blue and yellow striped creature shuffles out from around the corner of the bar, beady black eyes peering at you warily from above a wide mouth.

A houjix!

The four-legged cephalopods prefer freshwater habitats but enjoy scrambling about on land for short periods of time, especially if their owners are around. Known for their friendly dispositions, only acting aggressively when seriously threatened, they’re popular pets among the Gran, but not so much elsewhere - being not exactly pleasant to look at by popular standards, most people pass them over for more attractive animal companions.

Which, of course, means you have a soft spot for them.

You lean down, twitching your fingers just above the floor. The houjix’s gaze immediately locks onto the motion, spiky clubbed tail flicking in interest. Tentatively, it crawls across the floor, pausing every few steps to peer around as if anxiously assessing potential risks.

The bartender stops his tidying to watch the interaction, calling out to the houjix, something in Gran that you don’t understand but that sounds encouraging.

The houjix glances back at the bartender, then turns to you, moving forward with a bit more enthusiasm. You can’t help but smile as the creature sniffs at your fingers, nudges its scaly nose into the palm of your hand.

The kid coos, ears perked with curiosity, watching the houjix as you scratch the space between its eyes, and you smile. “They’re very friendly, see? But they spook easily so you have to move slowly and be quiet around them.”

Leaning forward to see better, the kid giggles when you tickle under the houjix chin and it pants happily, big tongue lolling out from the wide mouth. The whole scene is so endearing - the kid’s delighted curiosity, the houjix’s goofy grin - a warmth that’s not from the whiskey blooms in your stomach.

Then there’s a movement from the far side of the room and the houjix startles, scrambling back to hide behind the bar. You look up to see Mando striding toward your table.

“Making friends?” He sounds amused as the helmet turns to look from you to where the houjix disappeared.

You shrug, swallowing the last mouthful of whisky and reaching over to brush crumbs from the front of the kid’s robe. “Recruiting. Thought you might want to add to your adorable creatures collection.”

“Not sure I’d call that thing ‘adorable.’” He keys in a command on his vambrace and the kid’s pod floats toward him.

“Aw come on, every creature has its charms. Even scaly, snaggle-toothed squid. And big, scary Mandalorians.”

Dank farrik. Didn’t mean to say that.

You push back the flood of embarrassment and change the subject quickly. “Are we leaving?”

The black visor just looks at you for a moment, then turns away as he moves toward the door. “Yes. We’re heading back to the Crest.”

“‘The Crest?’ You stand to follow him. “Is that the name of the ship?”

He pauses, helmet tilting in what you think is surprise. “Yes. The Razor Crest. The name is written on the side, can… can you read Basic?”

A barrage of memories explodes across your thoughts, pulling a wave of hot anger to the surface. You quickly shove it back down - another old wound that should have healed by now. “Oh, I can read well enough. But I try not to look too hard at anything mechanical. It can sense my attention and tends to break instantly just to spite me.”

“Your blaster is mechanical.” He gestures to your thigh holster, his tone lightly teasing.

You pat the blaster strapped to your thigh gently. “I’ve had this one for years, only blaster that has never jammed on me. I’ve deduced that it must be immune to my curse.”

He huffs his laugh but doesn’t respond to that, turning to stride toward the exit door. Following him and the kid out of the speakeasy, you throw the bartender a friendly wave over your shoulder as you step out into the sunny street.

It’s a beautiful day, warm, with a light breeze coming off the river that carries the fresh scent of the grain fields beyond the city. Even though Capra has a population of millions and hosts the main spaceport for the planet, the city itself is clean and almost quaint, architecture inspired by the Gran’s agricultural history, with smaller buildings than what you’d usually see in a big city and narrow streets obviously designed for carts with wheels and other ancient methods of transporting goods.

The Gran you pass by are friendly enough, offering polite greetings though you’re a complete stranger. One even waves to you as you move through the streets back to the ship.

You wave back, smiling pleasantly. “This isn’t a bad little place.”

The helmet turns to look at you. “Are you planning on staying here, then?”

“Oh. Uh…” You hesitate, uncertainty suddenly churning in your stomach. “I guess I could. I’ve worked on farms before, could probably scrape out a living as a hired hand for a bit.”

It’s the right thing to do. Kinyen is quiet and peaceful with plenty of opportunities for you to take the next step.

But that black visor is pinned on you, the mysterious gaze behind it a question that’s impossible to ignore.

Forcing a light chuckle from your oddly tight chest, you smile crookedly. “Who am I kidding, me, on a planet with only one bar? Doesn’t seem like a long-term option, to be honest.”

Mando looks away again - was that a little shift of relief in his shoulders? - as he leads you and the kid around a corner, heading down the street that ends at the spaceport, where the ship is docked. “I wouldn’t have picked you for a heavy drinker.”

Shrugging one shoulder, you scoff. “I did have my days, when I was younger. Now, I enjoy a good drink once in a while.”

“Just whisky?”

He noticed what you were drinking.

Of course he did, the man notices everything.

You throw him a glare of mock offence. “Oh, I dabble in other areas. When it comes to whisky, though, I’ll try it but nothing beats Corellian. Every other whisky is subpar.”

“Is that where you’re from? Corellia?”

The question throws you off, teasing attitude fading slightly. Most people would expect you to either confirm it or clarify where you were actually from. But that’s too close to those secrets you’re trying to keep. “No, I’m just a fan of their main alcoholic export.”

He falls silent. Kriff, there you go again, derailing the slowly growing… whatever it is between the two of you. He’s going to get sick of your avoidance, kick you off on the next planet, maybe even make you stay here -

“I’ve never had it.”

You’re unable to stop from staring at him, struggling to pull your focus out of your spiraling anxiety. “You’ve never had Corellian whisky?”

The helmet tilts just slightly toward you in a way you’re starting to recognize means he’s amused. “No.”

You click your tongue. “That’s a tragedy, right there. Never had Corellian… next time I get my hands on some, you have to try it.”

“Fine. But it better live up to the hype you’re giving it.”

“Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.”

He falls into silence again, but it doesn’t feel strained this time, just a natural quiet that you’re starting to realize is a frequent occurrence with him.

The spaceport pops into sight as you pass some buildings, the ship - the Razor Crest - looming over the speeders waiting for the next transport to come in, and your curiosity sparks. “Where are we headed next? Are you tracking a bounty?”

“I haven’t taken bounties since I found the kid.”

Huh. That’s surprising. Wait - “‘Found’ the kid? Like just stumbled across him on the street one day?”

He’s quiet for a moment again. “Not exactly.”

You can sense the edge of that wall he keeps around his secrets, and you instinctively back off, thoughts picking through what he had said. “So how do you pay for everything?” You immediately clap a hand over your mouth. “Wow, that was wildly inappropriate. Please ignore me, it’s not my business.”

The black visor stays looking straight ahead, but you catch that tilt of amusement again. “I take jobs when I need money. Whatever work I can find that doesn’t put the kid in danger.”

“How long have you had him?”

“A while.”

You raise your eyebrows. “And it’s just been you and him?”

“For the most part, yes.”

“So you’ve been caring for him, by yourself, while taking work for money so you don’t starve or get stranded somewhere with no fuel?” Something like sympathy twists in your chest. “That’s a lot for one person to take on.”

The black visor does look at you then, a quick glance that is completely unreadable to you. “This is The Way.”

He said those words with a rhythmic intonation, as if they were a… prayer? Chant? He had mentioned a creed, of some kind, when you had asked him about why he never removes his helmet. Maybe those words have to do with his creed.

Regardless, the life he’s describing sounds tough, full of struggle and worry.

You look down at the kid floating beside you, reaching out to gently stroke the edge of one floppy ear. He stares up at you, big eyes wide and solemn, and the twinge in your chest grows. “The “way” seems… harsh.”

“The Way is The Way of The Mandalore. To follow The Way, one must protect one’s clan.”

Now that definitely sounds like something ceremonial. Mandalorians are fighters, you know that much. No surprise their culture is focused on protecting their clans - protecting the future of their people in a galaxy that seems to be constantly at war.

You tweak the end of the kid’s ear. “And he’s part of your clan?”

“Yes.”

There’s a note of something in his voice that’s dimmed by the modulator, and you can’t quiet tell what it is, but you don’t want to pry. “Well, that answers that question. I was wondering what your relationship to the kid was, but if he’s part of your clan, I get it now.”

“You do?” His surprise is obvious even through the modulator.

“Yeah. Your clan is your family, right? So even if you’re not biologically related, he’s still your… well, seems like he sees you as his father, so. He’s your son.”

The helmet turns away again, his body language stiff.

Crikking hells, messed up again.

Honesty. It worked last time.

You stop abruptly, and after a step he pauses, turning slightly to look back at you. “Ok, I need to explain something. I’m not used to… uh, this kind of conversation.”

Great job, very concise, now he’s probably more confused than before.

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you try again. “I mean the kind of conversation where I’m not analyzing everything the other person is saying, trying to figure out what they want from me, second-guessing each word. I… I don’t usually let people this close.”

And stop right there, that’s getting a little too personal.

But he’s still staring at you, silent, and the words keep flowing.

“I’m just not used to feeling… free to talk, I guess. But I don’t want to upset you or make you uncomfortable - you’ve been respectful of my boundaries, I want to do the same for yours.” Chewing your bottom lip, you search for the right words to get across what you’re trying to say. “So if I say something you don’t like, please tell me to kindly kriff off and I’ll shut my mouth.”

A strange sound comes through the modulator - was that a laugh?

Those ridiculously broad shoulders quiver.

The Mandalorian is laughing at you. Not just his little huff, an actual, legitimate laugh.

A confusing mix of mild offence and amused delight make you smile in bewilderment.

The helmet moves once from side to side. “I wouldn’t dare. That mouth of yours is one of your best features.”

Then he’s turning away and starting off down the street again, the kid gliding along behind him in his little pod. You stare after them, a foreign warmth blooming beneath your ribs that leaves you breathless.

That mouth of yours is one of your best features.

Dank farrik.

The potential double-meaning behind his words…

Yeah, no. Not gonna go there.

You don’t need any more fuel added to that attraction simmering under your skin. That seems to be getting worse on all its own.

Maybe you should stay on Kinyen. If you keep following the Mandalorian, it’s going to be more and more difficult to ignore whatever that warmth is under your ribs, fluttering within your heartbeat.

Then the helmet turns, flashing in the sunlight, and that unseen gaze falls on you again.

Your feet move toward him without any further hesitation.

*****

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#the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the world is light embodied

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teddy-yandere · 3 years ago

Note

Heyo, it's me again 👀 I see you need some requests with something different

Can you write about yandere Dabi and Hawks?

So, they fall in love with a darling with a quirk, that doesn't want anything to do with heroes or villains. They try to lay low as much as possible, but somehow had to use their quirk to get out of trouble, maybe that's when Mr Crispy and Chicken Nugget see her, start mildly stalking the Darling, realize they are cute or something and go full yandere? Like how would they treat Darling when they are trying to escape or in general.

Idk I Just want something with these two 🤣🤣🤣

It's not a Demon Slayer request, but I will not break my new tradition

Here's Koku-chan trying to be cool

Yandere Dabi and Hawks x Reader

⚠️WARNING⚠️ will contain dark themes

A/N = Feel free to request any characters you want. I write for many different fandoms , all you have to do is scroll to the bottom of this post and pick what fandom and character you want me to write for and send me a request. My inbox is always open so feel free to chat with me!! <3

* .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * * .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * . *.:｡✧ *ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. *.

• It had been a normal day for Hawks , until he got a call that the famous villain Dabi had strikes again. This time , Dabi had robbed a bank and set it on first not too far away from Hawks post. Hawks stared at his screen , before rolling his eyes and taking off into the afternoon air. From far away , Hawks looked very graceful , flying in the air so easily , but not to you.

• You had never really liked hero’s or villains. You found them annoying and they always found a way of disrupting your day. You always tried your best to ignore them. That is why you weren’t too happy when you saw Hawks flying in the air , because you knew that it meant that there was a villain near by.

• You tried to ignore the sirens and noise coming from a random direction. You could not tell what direction they were coming from , because of how loud they were. Just then , you were about to turn a corner when all of a sudden , you could feel a explosion. Your body practically flew in the air , in order to save your self , you had to use your quirk.

• It felt like everything was a blur. Luckily you were able to get yourself into a stable position , and take a look around. You had no idea what had just happened. You were trying to find the cause for the explosion, when all of a sudden you spotted hawks and a villain named Dabi just staring at you from the roof of a tall building. Hawks then called down. “ Are you okay??!” You ignored him and started to walk away. Dealing with a hero and a villain was the last of your problems. Right now , you wanted to get home as fast as possible.

• You thought that the villain and the hero would forget about you , but no. When Dabi first saw you , he thought that you were the most graceful person ever. Your hands looked so soft from in top of the building. Dabi wishes that Hawks wasn’t right their with him , so he would be able to follow you. Little did Dabi know , that Hawks was just as fascinated with you. Hawks cursed under his breath , before letting go of Dabi and telling him to go. Hawks needed to find you. He hopes that you hadn’t walked to far away. Little did Hawks know , that when he let Dabi go , Dabi started to follow you .

• Dabi doesn’t know why he get so attracted to you , honestly he thought you looked so adorable. Another part of him knows that he followed you because he feels like you can’t protect yourself. You look very vulnerable, and Dabi wants to protect you. Hawks stalked you because you seemed different. On more than one occasion, Dabi and Hawks caught each other stalking you . Every time they would catch each other , a big fight would happen.

• Eventually, they just decided that the best thing, would be if they shared you. They also wanted to kidnap you. Their plan was to take you at night . That way nobody would be able to identify them. They also wanted to catch you off guard. They couldn’t risk you using your quirk on them.

• When the finally took you , they tried their best to comfort you. They knew that you were very confused , but they tried their best. It will take a very long time for you to learn to live , and trust them. Hawks will make you nest ( that Dabi is not allowed in ).

* .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * * .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * . *.:｡✧ *ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. *.

Thanks for reading Darling !! <3

Feel free to request any character you want. I write for all genders. If you don’t tell me what gender you want then I will just make it gender nuetural. I write for many different fandoms such as:

• Demon Slayer

• Haikyuu

• Attack on Titan

• My Hero Academia

• Death Note

• Jujitsu Kaisan

Have a nice Day / Night ~

#yandere headcanons #anime #yandere #yandere my hero academia headcanons #yandere my hero academia #yandere dabi headcanons #yandere dabi #yandere dabi x reader #yandere dabi x y/n #yandere hawks #yandere hawks headcanons #yandere hawks x reader #yandere keigo takami #teddy yandere

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cozycryptidcorner · 4 years ago

Photo

Kinktober 3: Naga/Semi-public

Tags: naga, semi-public, is there a word for female cockwarming? pussy warming??? idk, uhhh, yeah

You don’t know why you find the upper levels of the library so enticing. Once the archives are closed, no one very much cares to venture up to the near-attic, the scent of carefully dusted wood calming after a day of stressing over whatever class you feel like you’re falling behind in. Up here in the rafters, surrounded by ancient scripture and stories of lands almost forgotten, you can slip out of your mind and focus solely on what you must.

Okay, well, scratch that, maybe you do know why you like it up here. Thunder roars in the near distance, shockwaves of sound vibrating against the windows and stone of the walls. It doesn’t take too much of a temperature shift outside to suck out all the heat through the thin sheet of glass separating you from the raging storm, and by the way a frigid nose pokes beneath your skirt, someone doesn’t find the cold as enticing as you.

With a steady hand, you turn the page of your textbook, eyes scanning the page as a scaled tail wraps around your ankle. Tapping your pen against your notebook, you practically glare at the illustration, trying to ignore the imploring fingers slipping beneath your underwear. All you offer in response is a quick shift of your hips to ease his struggle, his breath almost cool against the wetness between your thighs.

“Malak,” you half-whisper, tangling your fingers in his white hair. “You said you would help me study.”

“I’m cold, baby,” he hums in response, hiking up your skirt further up to your waist. Teeth graze against your inner thigh, nothing more than a playful nip, but it melts your insides down to a boiling point. “Let me warm up first.”

Swallowing thickly, you only turn back to your schoolwork, trying to angle yourself on the chair in a way that lets you spread your legs as far as necessary. Focus, focus, focus, your mind chants as his tongue slowly teases the skin around your lips. Intention when casting runes is just as important as the markings themselves; to fully produce their desired effect, one must-

A burst of pleasure runs up the length of your spine; you have to catch yourself before you let out a sobbing whimper. Malak’s tongue has graced your clit with its presence, his bright blue eyes looking up from under the table with a sly triumph. Clamping your mouth shut, you turn back to your work, trying to focus on making a flashcard with the proper vocab words as he spreads the skin of your pussy out.

Trying to keep your voice steady, you say, “what are the three virtues one must exhibit while casting runes?”

“Clarity,” he kisses your slit, “focus,” another kiss, “and aplomb.”

“Good,” you manage to get yourself under control, taking a sip out of your thermos, “glad to see you’re keeping up.”

He makes a purring noise, flattening his tongue and licking from top to bottom, little sparks of thrill running through your core. Then, just to be infuriating, you think, he lets out a small whimpering noise that sets your entire being on edge. Still, there’s no one around to hear his little show of subjugation, so you decide to let it slide.

Up, down, up, down, a smile on his face as you wrap a leg around his cool back.

Keeping your voice under control, you look over your notes. “What is considered the rune for this modern age?”

He waits for a beat, flicking his tongue against your opening, then says, “Synthetic Moderna.”

You shudder as he delves back down, but you have to nod your head. “Ri-right. What about- what about the Acadian Revival?”

“A period in the nineteenth century revolving around the idea that older magicks were somehow better than modern- do I have that right?” Without waiting for your answer, his mouth closes on the upper part of your pussy, slowly pushing his tongue between your folds, sliding it back and forth against your clit.

You suck in your breath. “Y-yeah, that’s it exactly.” Trying to convince your quivering core that everything is alright and you don’t have to pay attention to what’s happening between your legs, you turn the page, eyes dancing over the chapter for more important information. “And what put the Acadian magic back into obscurity?”

You think you can feel his eyes rolling, but you’re so focused on the letters in your book that you don’t look. “Older magic was useful for the older world. New technologies mean new uses that don’t coincide with those ancient concepts.”

“Yes, that’s- that’s correct.” You don’t understand how he can be so very casual about everything while his tongue slowly probes your entrance, nor could you ever fathom why he might not insist you pay his own body any mind. Still, you suppose that you’re grateful for the release.

“Have I earned my prize yet?” He asks, batting his pale, thick eyelashes at you.

“Not yet,” your chest is tight, your core even hotter. “We need to get through this unit first.”

“Mmph,” he complains against your pussy, taking one of your lips and nipping gently with his fangs.

You don’t want to ask him for any more information, mostly because his face feels awfully nice against your throbbing core, but you also don’t want him to flunk out, no matter how much he seems to know his stuff, he has a nasty habit of not showing up to exams. “Who is an influential figure that began the development of Synthetic Moderna?”

He shivers against your body, tail wrapping up your shin and closing in on your knee. “Alphonsa Rodrigez.”

For being at the mercy of someone hellbent on making you cum, you think you’re doing an outstanding job at ignoring him… until his fingers become involved. Your vision blurs despite your desperate attempts to focus on anything and everything but him. Clearing your throat, you continue, “and what exact discovery did Doctor Rodrigez discover?”

He moans into your pussy, his throat rumbling low and sweet. Now that his fingers are involved, the stroking of your clit doesn’t cease when he looks back up at your face, “isn’t she the one who came up with the three virtues?”

You inhale sharply as he presses his thumb into your slit, but say, “no, she wasn’t the one to finalized the three virtues into mainstream practices… it has to do with the idea of clarity, though.”

“Oh,” he says, realization in his eyes as he offers a kiss to your thigh, “right, wasn’t she involved in the development of neural observation when it came to the actual casting?”

“Ye-Es!” Your voice lilts and almost becomes a whine as Malak, the fucking bastard, closes his mouth around your clit and sucks just as you open your mouth. You clap your hands over your mouth, face red, hoping desperately that no one heard. Judging by the lusty smile on his face, he knows what he did, and you feel the urge to smack him upside the head. ” Malak!”

“Careful, baby,” he says, infuriatingly quiet, “someone might hear you.”

As though the universe heard his words and decided that it would be super funny to turn against you in the worst way imaginable, you hear footsteps. Sucking in air, you’re quick to fix your posture, wrapping your legs around Malak’s neck in the hopes of keeping him still. Despite the hazy layer of sweat on your temple, you think, you hope that you don’t look like… well, like someone is mouth fucking you beneath the table.

“Are you alright?” A head pokes out from the back, eyebrows raised. A grad student you recognize, he’s one of the TA’s in your least favorite class this semester, though you’d never tell him that.

Silently, you thank every god who might have brought the desk you’re sitting at because it’s one of the older fashioned ones, the kind that closes off and hides whatever might be underneath from passersby. Briefly, you wonder if the person who first made them had this exact reason behind it. Malak’s tongue doesn’t give you an ounce of reprieve, working almost harder to flush your face, hoping with all the power in his fingers that you might squeal with pleasure.

But you’re stronger than that, more determined than he, so you offer up a casual smile and a noncommittal shrug. “Sorry, Martin, I saw a spider. You know how I am with those.”

“Ri-ight,” he says, drawing out the center syllable for longer than you would like. Maybe he’s just mocking you for the phobia? “Of course, sorry for interrupting.”

“Oh, I’m just studying-”

“Of course, goodbye.” And just like that, his head ducks back between the books, gone and embarrassed for reasons you don’t want to think about. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a tail poking out from where the wooden board almost meets the floor, thrashing about like in some kind of distress. Or some sort of perverse pleasure.

You don’t have time to feel shameful because Malak is attacking your body with a much more vicious gusto than you had thought him capable of… okay, well, maybe not, but you did think he would at least wait until the study session was over. Steadily, with so little mercy, he sucks on your clit directly; you have to bite down on your hand to keep from crying out.

Even if you offer up a meager question, you know that he’s so focused on your pleasure that he couldn’t be bothered to answer. You’re almost afraid that you might be squeezing his head too tightly, but he doesn’t seem bothered in the least, arm snaking around one of your legs to shift and position however he needs. Out away, then back closer when a chill of coldness threatens his delicate skin.

He’s sucking now, sucking on your clit, except it’s not like those quick, kissing motions; it’s full-on, and your vision tangles with a web of black. Everything in your core is tight, hot, yet Malak is cool enough to tie your body down to the mortal plane, even if he’s relentlessly licking like his life depends on your orgasm. And there, you can feel it coiling in your stomach. You have to bite down on your sleeve lest you start whining like a pup. With your other hand, though, you rake your fingers through his hair.

Now he’s looking at you, crystalline eyes filled to the brim with smug satisfaction. Still, his tongue moves against your lower regions with the skill of a well-seasoned whore, a kind of his own desperation on his face. Almost like his very being depends on your pleasure. He gently pushes a finger into your pussy, curving it slightly to hit that one specific spot, then slowly begins to massage your inner walls, and you are over.

You can feel the beginning of the orgasm creep up inside your core, small tendrils of pleasure reaching out through your nerves. The steady building turns into waves, though, morphing from a modest sort of feeling to something large, bright, and overshadowing everything else. Something slick and hot rushes through your pussy, trickling out and into Malak’s eager and waiting mouth.

The sounds he makes while drinking your cum are obscene, even though he tries to keep quiet, just as you asked. But he doesn’t slow down and instead lets you ride out your orgasm on his face, tongue still licking and mouth continuously kissing despite your body’s slow decline off that high. Everything in your body seems to shut off, muscles relaxing as the final rolls of pleasure ebb away, until you’re barely nothing more than a shivering, boneless mass on the chair.

He crawls up your body then, every movement with purpose and vigor. He kisses your stomach, a shiver pulsing out from it, then up your sweater, pausing at your collarbone, then goes to your neck. You wrap your arms around his torso and your legs around his waist, snuggling up against his solid, large body to ground yourself.

“Babe?” He asks.

“Yeah?”

“What leap of advancement does Synthetic Moderna have over its many predecessors?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Incorrect! That's a penalty."

#naga/reader #exophilia #naga #monster lovers #monster/reader #kinktober #story

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yuyupowers · 3 years ago

Text

aristocrat!yunho

aristocrat!yunho x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst

trigger warning(s): description of an anxiety attack, brief description of death, memory loss. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: i swear this wasn’t supposed to be this long sdkjflds

none of the pictures are mine!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

eldest son of a duke

okay, so

among nobility, the jeon family are well respect but considered to be a bit,,,eccentric

they adhere to all the social expectations expected amongst nobles, but their attitude towards non-nobility is what sets them apart

though most noble families are polite when interacting with non-nobility, they generally try to keep their distance; avoid their company, if possible

not the jeong’s

it wasn’t unusual to see duchess jeong knitting in her tea room with maids, merchant’s wives, or whoever else wanted to come

to see gunho running around with his friends, a pack of street urchins, low, and middle class children

to see yunho in the market helping one of the many older couples haul their cart into place

his family had managed to find the delicate balance of being “normal” enough not to suffer social ostracization, yet “odd” enough for people to dismiss their “peculiar actions” as “typical jeong behaviour”

now, onto the loml yunho

perfect gentleman pt. 2

extremely charming and a great conversationalist

no matter how awkward or shy the other party may be, yunho has this way to draw them out of their shell

(just ask mingi)

excels physical and hands-on activities (i.e. hunting, horseback riding, swordsmanship, etc,,,)

average in terms of book smarts

so while wasn’t about to lead the next technological revolution, he wasn’t “stupid” either

rather, i’d argue that yunho’s brilliant in non-traditional ways

his quick wit and ability to think on his feet is part of his charm

but his greatest strengths are his observational skills and emotional intelligence

able to discern people’s emotional state easily and quickly

he’s someone who’s kind, bright, and genuinely cares about other people’s problems (sometimes a little too much)

a natural leader - people tend to flock towards him

between him and mingi (who despite not acting like it, is extremely book smart), they’ve got all bases covered

(+ yunho’s willingness in using unconventional methods to gather information)

that’s actually how he met you

or rather, “found” seems more appropriate

see, he has an excellent rapport with the street children

being six foot one and offering shoulder rides does wonders

and because he wants to stay updated on what problems the people around him are dealing with, he gets the children to “report” to him if they find or hear anything unusual

(the children are more than eager to play spy, especially when there’s candy involved)

one day while taking a stroll, one of his kids ran up to him totally out of breath

he wheezed something about a “mysterious lady” before grabbing yunho’s hand and dragging leading him to an alley quite far away

to say he was surprised was an understatement

most of the time, his kids brought amusing but mostly useless information to him

(even if he is more than content listening about the cute squirrel they fed earlier that day)

usually they didn’t lead him to an unconscious woman lying in the middle of an empty alley

(yes, that’s you)

hurrying to your side, he drops down and checks to see if you’re alive

other than being unconscious and getting some dirt in your hair and on your clothes, you seemed to be okay

gingerly scooping you into his arms, he tells the little boy to fetch the doctor and bring him to the jeong manor

fast forward a couple hours and you’re roused from your unconscious state by the sharp smell of ammonia mixed with lavender

blearily, you rub your eyes and blink once, twice, before your vision finally clears

then panic

you don’t recognize where you are or the two faces that hover by your bedside

sensing your anxiety, yunho smiles warmly speaks in a soothing tone

“hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re in a safe place. my name’s yunho and this is dr. adley. i found you unconscious in an alley.”

and though you’re very confused and still mildly unnerved, you can tell this yunho guy is genuine

“,,,okay.”

so you settle into the (extremely comfortable) four poster bed and let the doctor examine you

except now it’s time for panic pt.2, but ten times worse because why the hell can’t you remember anything?!

you can’t even remember your own g*d damned name !!

to make things worse, there doesn’t seem to be a reason why you can’t remember anything

no bumps or injuries anywhere on your body

and chances of a robbery gone wrong, a kidnapping, or a failed assassination attempt were very unlikely since you were dressed in commoner’s clothes

disquieted by your alarm and the doctor’s confusion, yunho slips out of the room and returns after several minutes

the doctor, offering apologies to both you and yunho, says he has no idea what’s wrong or what could’ve happened to you

all he can suggest is to rest and hope that your memories eventually come back to you

your burry your face into your hands, a whirlwind of frustration, confusion, and fear brewing in you

apparently nobody, including yourself:

knows who you are,

where you came from,

why you were unconscious,

and why you lost your memories

to top it off, you have no money

…

just when you were about to idk,,,scream and/or punch something-

you feel two large hands engulfing yours, lowering them from your face

taking a seat on the edge of bed, yunho offers a faint smile as he idly traces lines from your wrists to your fingertips

a surprisingly soothing gesture

“,,,i know you’re overwhelmed right now, but please don’t feel as if you have to do this on your own. i talked to my mum and dad; you can stay here until either someone finds you or your memories return. in the meantime, we’ll help you out as much as we can, yeah?”

and though you’re in no position to argue, your first instinct is to decline because though you’re amnesiatic, you still have common sense

what kind of family, wealthy or not (actually, especially wealthy), lets a complete stranger stay in their house?

do these people have no sense of danger?

but yunho is as stubborn as he is kind, and this was how you ended up staying with the jeong’s

(you insist on working to earn your stay, much to yunho’s dismay. in his head, unless it helped in recovering their memories or, unfortunately, was necessary for survival, who would make an amnesiac work?)

the first couple of days were awkward

duke and duchess jeong had briefed everyone in the manor about your situation, but when making casual conversation, lapses in memory and uncomfortable silences were inevitable

“oh, i adore this purple! hey, what’s your favourite colour?”

“,,,i uh,,, don’t know.”

“,,,i’m so sorry-”

but awkward has never a problem for yunho, and you quickly grew fond of the gentle giant

“since we don’t know your name, can i call you little sun? since i found you on a sunny day and you’re little-”

“yunho, not everyone can be six feet tall”

“six one, actually”

“,,,”

true to his word, he does his best to help you recover your memories

roped mingi into helping

when you finished your tasks for the day, he’d bring you to all sorts of places, trying all sorts of things

on a hunting trip with yungi, you discovered that: a) you’re proficient in horseback riding, b) you have astounding aim, and c) you’re surprisingly agile

yunho, who’s always been penchant towards athleticism, was delighted to have someone to compete with

mingi just grumbled. sure he was clumsy, but how did someone with no memory beat him?

while helping the gardener, you found out that you have a rather extensive knowledge of flora

yunho jokingly (kinda) suggested that maybe you were a huntress

mingi bombarded you with questions and quizzes about plants

find out what kind of plant you are by decorating your dream room

hoping that you’d run into someone or somewhere familiar, yunho would take on walks all over the city

during your walks, you learned that you preferred nighttime (while he preferred the day), that you found solace in being alone (while he preferred company), that you liked sweet things (while he preferred chips)

a month,

two,

six months passed liked this

you made progress, but you couldn’t stop the bitterness from bubbling in your chest; negativity spreading through your veins like toxin

sure, you consider your favourite colour to be a precious memory in its own right

but who cares about what your favourite colour is when you can’t remember your own name?

you were vexed by the fact that, at this point, you know more about yunho than yourself

even if learning about him made your heart flutter

just a little

and the nightmares

the nightmares

they drove you crazy

you never remembered what you’d dream of, but every night, without fail, you’d wake with tear stained cheeks and sweat soaked clothes

tonight was particularly bad

normally, when you woke, you’d force yourself to take several deep, calming breaths until your breathing evened, grab a glass of water, then crawl back to bed

today, you couldn’t breathe

no matter what or how hard you tried, your heart wouldn’t stop pummeling against your ribcage;

your blood wouldn’t stop rushing between your ears, creating a cacophony no one else could hear;

wave after wave of nausea would slam into your gut

your vision’s blurring

oh god

you’re gonna pass out

you’re gonna pass out and forget the memories you worked so hard to remember and all the memories you made and you’re gonna forget yunho and mingi and-

suddenly, much like the first day, two large hands engulf your own, idly tracing lines from your wrist to your fingertips

“little sun, it’s me, yunho. your yunho. focus on my hands and voice, yeah? i’m right here.”

he continues to murmur sweet nothings until finally, finally, your heart settles back in your chest, your breathing levels, and your vision clears enough to see yunho

your yunho

and in this state, one look at his kind eyes is enough for the tears you’ve been holding in all this time to spill over

because though you cry in your sleep, you never let yourself cry when you’re awake

too focused on chores, too focused on remembering, too focused on trying to get some semblance of control over this uncontrollable situation

without a word, he pulls you into his chest and runs his fingers through your sweaty hair, offering the sound of his heartbeat to anchor you back to this four poster bed when you were ready

but g*d, does it break his heart to see you cry

he expected to hear you wail, to take the brunt of your fists as you pound his chest

but he hears nothing

instead, he feels your tears soak his shirt, feels how you tremble in his arms

and that is so much worse.

it takes long minute for you to stop crying, and another for you to feel composed enough to detach yourself from yunho’s (now soggy) chest

you’re sure you look awful

puffy eyes, blotchy cheeks, and a runny nose

(and you feel embarrassed that yunho witnessed your breakdown)

but he thumbs away the remaining tears from your cheeks and murmurs that he’ll be right back, returning with tissues and a glass of water

and a new shirt

he hands you the glass of water, tosses your used tissues in the garbage, and climbs underneath your (technically his) covers, patting the space beside him

when you too find refuge in the warm blankets, he pulls you back into his chest

his arm acts as your pillow as he kisses the crown of your head, murmuring into your hair

“wanna talk about it?”

it takes you several moments, but you eventually tell him about the negativity seeping into every inch of skin

the nightmares you never recall keeping you up at night

the irrational feeling of stupidity because you can’t remember who you are

yunho silently, attentively listens to you as you spill your heart

and if he hadn’t pulled you so close, you might’ve seen the weariness in his usually carefree features

the conflict and hollowness brewing in his normally inviting eyes

but by the time you finished talking and pulled back, the expression was gone and the familiar smile you adored so much was back in place

“tomorrow, let’s go to the place where i found you.”

a faint smile bloomed on your lips because though this wasn’t the first time you visited, it was a reminder that you weren’t alone

that no matter how the chances dwindled, yunho would remind you that it was never zero

it was hope that got you through the night

the two of you have never done anything that could be considered anything but platonic

much to mingi’s irritation

but just for tonight, yunho decides to be a little greedy

he kisses your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, your eyelids, you wrists, your palms, your knuckles, your fingers

anywhere he can reach,

except for your lips

you’re emotionally exhausted and vulnerable; he’d feel like a dick if he forced a decision - especially an emotionally fraught one - onto you right now

he threads your fingers together, murmuring soft promises: you’ll remember who you were, you’ll be okay, you’ll find your way again

and you finally let the exhaustion, the steady rhythm of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, and the warmth and comfort that is yunho lull you to sleep

the next morning is a cold one

gusts of wind bite into your skin as you curl in on yourself, trying to preserve any remaining shred of body heat

noticing this, yunho tucks you under his arm with a sheepish smile and flushed cheeks that were definitely red because of the cold and not because he was flustered

cute

a peaceful silence falls between you two as he leads you to the alley

and since it was early, the only sounds that accompanied you was the quiet patter of your footsteps and the chirps of birds reluctant to travel south

feeling like it simultaneously took too long and not long enough, the two of you arrive

an odd smile settles on yunho’s lips

,,,was that bitterness?

“,,,here we are.”

interrupting your train of thought, he takes your hand and leads you to where he found you

g*d

you could feel it

somewhere in the back of your mind, something almost tangible was shoving its way forward

you’re so close, just a little more and-

suddenly, a chill that had nothing to do with the weather ran down your spine

before you could understand what you were feeling, yunho shoved you behind him and parried the dagger aimed for his chest

a gruff looking man only a little shorter than he stood before him

his clothes tattered and dirty, skin littered with scars, hair and beard scraggly and matted, he looked like one of the many men that inhabited the slums

but those men were sagging skin and bones, never knowing where or if they would get a next meal

this man was muscular

and judging by the familiarity of his actions, this clearly wasn’t his first assassination

the two men, unable to disengage, snarl as they continue to press into each other

much to your surprise, when you were about to jump into the fray, the assassin screams at you

“YOU ‘UCKING WHORE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! KILL HIM!”

big mistake

because not only is yunho clever and athletic, he’s one lucky bastard

in the brief second the assassin’s attention was diverted, yunho ducks

his weight and moment carries him forward, and he stumbles,,,right onto yunho’s blade.

yanking both his blood soaked short sword and body away from the assassin, the man crumples to the ground

but until life is drained from his eyes, he bores holes into your head, message clear: kill him

a deafening silence weighs down upon you when the man stops breathing

even the wind stills

yunho stands there, a far away look in his eyes as he grips the short sword

blood is splattered all over his hands, across his cheek

it trickles from the hilt, down the blade, and eventually drips onto the ground beneath him

snow begins to drift from the gray skies, landing on his hair, his cheeks, his eyelashes, his coat

as if trying to comfort him

as if trying to wash the blood away

and you?

you couldn’t move.

not when the floodgates had opened and a torrent of memories threatened to pull you under

you knew who you were

you were yn, born to a peasant mother who died at birth and a father that abandoned you soon after

a ghost of a person, and unknown assassin raised by an unnamed noble who resented the jeong’s for their wealth, their nobility, and their favour with the royal family despite their peculiar attitude

nothing but a tool

a tool told that if successful, he’d grant you wealth and freedom

but that if you failed, he’d kill you himself

…

the assassin wasn’t after yunho, he was after you

a warning to finish the job, or else

…

you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking

and yunho,

your gentle giant, yunho

envelops your hands in his, idly tracing lines from your wrist to your fingertips

there’s no comfort this time.

not when he drew lines of blood across the back of your hand, not when you searched and couldn’t read anything expect for this sad smile on his ordinarily open features

“,,,do you remember?”

“,,,”

“,,,you knew.”

he did.

his suspicions appeared early on, spurred by your unusually good marksmanship, agility, and uncanny knowledge of plants

specifically poisonous ones

he turned to this “unconventional” ways of gathering information

starting off with his kids,

then some trusted tclose contacts

but when nothing - and he meant a questionable amount of nothing - turned up, he left the legal sphere and delved in the underground; the black markets

yunho has people who owe him favours - people who’s debts he’s paid off, who’s fights he’s fought on their behalf

it took a few months, but eventually he got the information he wanted

marquess yoo who openly showed his distaste for the jeong family “released his pet into the wild”

but the jeong’s were not stupid, and they were loved

when yunho’s father confided to some close acquaintances about the predicament they were facing, they took matters into their own hands

they never meant to hurt you

only to capture you and talk you out of killing, bribing you with money, protection - threats, if necessary - if you testified against marquess yoo

but somewhere along the way, things got messy

it ended with an unconscious girl lying in the middle of an abandoned alley; three grown men running away because oh dear lord, she’s dead; and a child leading yunho straight to you

letting go of your hands, yunho goes to kneel beside the man he just killed

closing his eyes, he mutters a prayer for the (not so) poor soul who unknowingly got himself tangled in this mess, and grabs the dagger

it feels like someone doused you in ice as yunho walks back to you

horror morphs on your face as he gently - why was he always so gentle? - wraps your fingers around the hilt and places the blade against his neck

the smile that you love so much but currently hate rests on his lips as he cups the side of your face with his free hand

his thumb idly brushes against your cheek, eyes twinkling with adoration as he drinks in every last detail of your face as if,,,

as if,,,

he’s ready to die

“no one knows we left this morning and no one knows we’re here; not even mingi. if you kill me, you’ll have enough time to collect some of your reward and run away.”

by now your hands were shaking so much that if yunho didn’t have his hand wrapped around yours, you would’ve dropped the blade

but as the snow floats down and lands in your hair, in his eye lashes, in the fog of your shared breaths, in the space between you,

here to witness a great tragedy

you both knew,

that one of you has to die.

#ateez yunho #yunho #jeong yunho #ateez #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez headcanons #aristocrat!ateez

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favefandomimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Happens For A Reason (d.s.)

Summary: after rudy breaks up with you for elaine, you’re thrusted into the arms of none other than drew starkey.

AN: i wanna marry drew starkey and idk why it took me so long to write for him

also: i know rudy and elaine wouldn’t be the kind of people to do this, this is entirely a work of fiction! no hate to either of them, especially elaine!

You saw it coming. That was the worst part about your ever so subtle break up with Rudy. It was subtle to the fans but you, and everyone else, saw it coming. The second Elaine came into the picture, it was a matter of time before everything went to hell.

You had been dating Rudy since a few weeks after Outer Banks started shooting in May 2019. Now seeing as its April 2020, the rumor mill hadn’t stopped since Elaine’s numerous posts of Rudy.

Drew had known Rudy was going to break up with you for Elaine for a few days and it was killing him not to tell you.

Rudy had confided in him that the relationship with you just wasn’t working anymore. He said he loved you but he couldn’t stay with you when he had feelings for someone else.

Drew told Rudy it was going to hurt your regardless and Rudy just couldn’t accept that he was going to cause you pain.

But then it happened. And the worst part was that you didn’t yell, swear at him or get angry. You were quiet, though he could see the tears brimming in your eyes.

“That’s it? Just, ‘okay?’ You’re not going to yell at me?” Rudy asked you. “I knew this was coming. You and her had been inseparable for months. I was just in the way.” You said sadly. “I still love you, Y/N.” He said. “Not like I love you though.” You replied.

A solemn silence fell upon the apartment as you sat down on your couch. “I think you should go.” You said quietly, quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks so he wouldn’t see.

Of course he felt guilty. He never wanted to hurt you and yet he ended up doing so by making you feel like you were in the way.

You sat on your couch, bringing your knees into your chest to make yourself feel calm. You were on the edge of a full blown panic attack because you felt like you weren’t good enough.

Your boyfriend broke up with you for another girl. What did she have that you didn’t? Aside from Rudy now.

After a few minutes passed by, there was a knock on your apartment door. Whoever it was, you didn’t feel like the company.

Drew left Rudy’s apartment and quickly went to your’s the second his friend returned. He could tell by the look on Rudy’s face that you probably weren’t in the best state of mind.

He knocked on your door and waited for you to answer but that never came.

“Y/N, I have a key so I’m just going to come in anyways.” Drew said from the other side of the door. You didn’t move though. Not feeling like removing yourself from the comfort of your couch.

The door opened and Drew stepped inside, seeing you clinging to yourself on the couch. “Y/N,” He started, walking towards you with haste. He sat down beside you and pulled your distraught figure into his chest.

He held you close as you silently cried to him. “Why wasn’t I good enough?” You asked. Mostly as a rhetorical question but Drew needed to tell you that you were wrong.

“Y/N, you are more than good enough. Rudy’s an idiot and I know one day he’s going to regret ever letting you go.” Drew told you.

In the moment, you didn’t believe him. You thought you’d always be second best.

Over the next few weeks, a whirlwind of things happened to you. You began to realize that your relationship with Rudy was simply because you felt like it was right for you to be together. Your characters on the show were love interests, so of course lines were going to blur.

Outer Banks had been picked up for season 2 but amidst the pandemic, no one knew when filming would start.

And you and Drew had started going out. It started slow, him not wanting to rush you or make you feel like you had to go out with him just because he had feelings for you. But the pandemic had other ideas; the two of you ended up being on lockdown at his apartment.

But neither of you were complaining. You got what you could from your place before hunkering down at Drew’s.

It started out as you sleeping on the couch and various nights of binge watching Netflix. You didn’t tell Madison or Madelyn, in fear of it getting around. The only person Drew told was Austin. Mainly because he had waited so long to be with you he needed to tell someone.

But fans started to notice. Your instagram pictures had the same background as some of Drew’s lives. You’d post a story of a movie and an hour later, Drew would do the same.

Eventually you moved from the couch to Drew’s bed (not sexually). You and Drew got unbelievably close and soon it was time to make it official.

And it was the happiest you had been in quite a long time. Finally you were in a relationship where you didn’t feel second best or as if you weren’t good enough. Drew made sure you knew that you would always be the first choice.

Outer Banks was finally back to filming in Charleston and you were thrilled. You hadn’t seen any of your cast mates since before the pandemic.

You and Drew had arrived shortly after everyone else and met them at Chase’s apartment that night. After the daily COVID test you all would have to endure.

“We’re here!” You greeted as you stepped into the apartment, Drew’s hand wrapped tightly around yours.

Madison and Madelyn ran to you and hugged you tightly, one that you happily returned. “I missed you! Where have you been? You and Drew went AWOL for like two weeks.” Madelyn said.

“We had a little getaway for a bit before all the craziness started. Wanted a little relaxation just the two of us.” You answered. “Seriously you guys are the cutest couple ever. Instagram won’t stop talking about you two.” Madison said. “It’s been, what, five months?” Madelyn asked.

You nodded your head, a sappy smile plastered on your face as you thought about he past five months Drew. “Look at her! She’s blushing!” Madelyn commented.

You and the two girls were in the kitchen talking, while Drew was with the rest of the guys. “How are you and Y/N?” Chase asked. “We’re great. Like seriously, it’s been amazing. It doesn’t feel like it’s only been five months.” Drew answered.

It was clear that Rudy was a bit uncomfortable with the subject matter since you were his ex girlfriend. “Okay, there’s something I want to tell you guys.” Drew started. “And what is that?” Austin asked.

They watched as Drew subtly fished something out of his pocket and all their jaws dropped when they saw what was in his hand. “Dude, no way.” Chase commented. “Are you serious?” JD asked. “Yeah, I got it a couple weeks ago.” Drew answered, a smile on his face.

“I know it’s only been five months but I’ve loved her since that first month on set. The timing just wasn’t right.” He added. That was clearly a dig at Rudy and what had gone down between the two of you. “Don’t you think it’s a little early to get engaged? I mean, I get why’d you want to, you’re 26 but does she? She just turned 22.” Rudy interjected.

Drew felt he had no right to judge him on his relationship with you when he was the one who broke up with you to begin with. “Well, if you actually paid attention to her instead of another girl while you were dating, you’d know that she wants to get married and start a family by 23.” Drew snapped.

“That is true.” JD said bashfully. It seemed that Rudy was so preoccupied with another girl that he didn’t bother to listen to you and everyone else did. No wonder it was so easy for you to move on. You were being treated better than he treated you.

“I don’t know when I want to do it but I want to do it soon. While we’re here because this is where we met.” Drew explained. “I think it’s a great idea. You two are great together and I’ve definitely noticed a change in Y/N. She’s been way happier.” Austin said.

Drew smiled as he looked at the ring in his hand. He went to great lengths to find the perfect ring for you and that was making a fake pinterest account to follow your engagement ring pinterest board.

“Have you told the girls?” JD asked. “Are you kidding? They’d 100% tell her and I want this to be perfect.” Drew said.

Rudy sat there silently to himself, listening to Drew talk about amazing you were and proposing to you. He didn’t need to be reminded of how great you were because he already knew that. He knew better than anyone, he dated you for a year.

“Did you hear about Rudy and Elaine?” Madelyn asked you. “No, what happened?” You asked. “She cheated on him. A few weeks ago actually.” She explained. “Really? Is he okay?” You questioned. “He says he’s fine but I know he’s devastated. I mean, he did let you go for her and it bit him in the ass.” Madison answered.

Of course you felt bad for Rudy. It’s a terrible feeling to be cheated on and you wanted to make sure he was okay. “Should I talk to him?” You asked. “I think he’d appreciate that.” Madelyn said.

After everyone had settled down, you had gotten Rudy’s attention and asked him to join you outside on the balcony.

“What’s up?” He asked. “I, uh, heard about you and Elaine. I’m really sorry.” You said. “It’s okay. It was probably my karma. I let go of the best thing I had and then this happened.” He said.

“Rudy, it happened for a reason. I was devastated after you broke up with me. I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. So, I know how you’re feeling. Like you weren’t good enough and you clearly didn’t make them happy. It sucks but you’ll be okay. I’m okay now.” You told him. “Does he make you happy?” He asked.

You thought back to all the times you were at your lowest and Drew was always there.

“Yeah. Yeah he does.” You said with a smile. “That’s all I want. I just want you to be happy.” He said. You gave him a friendly hug, mainly for closure.

You both walked back inside and Drew pulled you down to sit on his lap. You pressed a kiss to his forehead as you fell into casual conversation with everyone.

Drew looked up at you as you laughed and smiled with your friends, completely enamored with you.

He knew you were it for him and you knew he was your endgame.

Drew had been planning your proposal for a while. It was now October in Charleston and the whole cast was going to the South Carolina aquarium on their day off.

Madison’s girlfriend, Mariah, was also in town visiting and Drew felt it was perfect.

Madelyn would have your parents on Facetime while Chase had Drew’s. All of the people you loved in one place to celebrate you and Drew.

You were walking through the giant ocean exhibit, admiring the animals, holding Drew’s hand.

All of your friends trailed behind, not wanting to ruin your moment.

Drew stopped you and you looked at him with furrowed brows until he got down on one knee.

“What the hell?” You questioned. “Y/N, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Since the day I met you, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Even when I didn’t have you, I knew we’d end up together. And I know it’s been about seven months but there’s not a doubt in my mind that I want you to be my wife.” Drew started.

Madelyn and Madison were crying, the boys were smiling, Rudy more than the rest. He could see how much Drew loved you, more than he ever thought he could.

“So, Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked. “Duh! Of course I will!” You answered. Drew smiled and placed the ring on your finger.

@y/n__: umm WTF i’m engaged?! i love you to the moon and beyond @drewstarkey

@rudeth: congratulations you wonderful humans! i love both of you

@madelyncline: i’m not crying, you’re crying

@fan1: OMG YAY CONGRATS

@fan2: my otp is getting married!!!!!!

@drewstarkey: i love you more (oh and thanks for agreeing to spend the rest of your life with me)

#imagine #imagines #Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rudy pankow #chase stokes #madison bailey #madelyn cline #austin north #jonathan daviss

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sassyhobbits · 4 years ago

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Part 2 for the living is so much harder than dying/ Aelin going back to doranelle fic pleeaase? I have some ideas! In KOA Rowan mentioned wanting to take Aelin to where he lived with Lyria and said it was close to Doranelle so they could do that. Or they could go to one of the Whitethorn private properties and she could get to know his family better. Or they could visit Mistward again on their way back! Idk anything you do will be perfect! Thank you!

i loved this idea so so much!! so, here you go!! get ready to feel some feelings. i absolutely adored getting to explore and write this idea. enjoy!!

pt 1

~~~

The mountains of Doranelle were a beast.

Although Aelin had grown up surrounded by the Staghorns, hiking up the peaks that surrounded the city her husband had been born in was still an arduous journey. Her thighs ached and her lungs burned from the thin air as they climbed higher and higher in the gray sky.

Normally, the young queen would have complained by now, but in her heart, she knew better, even though Rowan had yet to explicitly say where he was taking her.

Her husband had woken her before dawn that morning, telling her to get dressed. Immediately, Aelin knew something was on his mind. His face had been solemn, lips pressed tight, something pained in his eyes.

So, Aelin had climbed out of the massive bed and dressed in a tunic and a supple bair of worn boots, braiding her hair back tightly. They had slipped silently out of Sellene’s palace as the sun rose, running through the forests once they had gotten out of the city.

When they had come to Doranelle on Sellene’s invitation, Aelin hadn’t planned on a grueling climb up the steep mountains.

Often, Aelin was able to read Rowan’s thoughts as if they had been written on his forehead but today… he had withdrawn deep within himself. She knew better than to pry, though she wanted to know what was going through his mind, why he needed her to hike up the rocky path with him when it would have been much easier for him to shift and fly.

They had been trudging up the mountain silently for a little less than an hour when Rowan paused, kneeling down near the edge of the path where a cluster of wildflowers grew. He picked a few, and continued to pluck any more he happened to find on their journey.

It was then that Aelin began to realize where Rowan was taking her.

Flowers, the mountains… her heart twisted deep within her chest.

When Rowan wasn’t looking, she snatched up a few weather-smooth stones she found, slipping them into the pockets of her trousers.

Soon enough, they crested onto a grassy bluff, situated within a crescent of the mountains. It gave a spectacular view of the forest below, Doranelle a tiny, little speck on the horizon. It was here that Rowan stopped.

Aelin gazed around her, unsure of what she was searching for. She slowly stepped forward, the tall grasses swaying around her in the sharp mountain winds. At first glance, there was nothing there. Barren. Gray. Cold. But then, the toe of her boot caught on what felt like a large stone. Aelin looked down through the grasses and slowly recognized that she was on the edge of what looked like the foundation for a cottage. A little ways away, there was a crumbling fireplace that had nearly been finished off by time. Aelin stepped up into the foundation, imagining walls, a kitchen, a cozy bedroom, and what might have become a nursery if the cottage still stood.

A tear trailed down her cheek.

This had been Rowan’s home with Lyria before he had lost her.

Aelin looked over her shoulder, finding that her husband was now kneeling near the edge of the bluff, head hung low. As she grew closer, she noted the headstone situated before him, the letters carved so painstakingly in the Old Language. Even though Aelin didn’t speak it, she knew what it said.

Silently, Aelin lowered herself to her knees beside him, noting that he had placed the bundle of wildflowers he had collected at the base of the headstone.

For a few moments, nothing was said, only the howling wind to fill the air.

“This was our home,” Rowan rasped at length, the first he had spoken since he had woken her up this morning. “We picked out this spot together, I built the cottage on my own while Lyria set up her garden and…” His voice wavered, fingers clenching into tight fists. “We had a few years of peace here, but not enough. Nowhere near enough…”

The tattoo that ran down Rowan’s face seemed to suck up what light managed to get through the heavy clouds.

Aelin wished she had words that would make everything better, but she knew those didn’t exist. Still, it hurt her to see her mate filled with such sorrow.

And so, Aelin simply took Rowan’s hand and held it tightly, offering what comfort she could. She listened as he began to speak softly in the Old Language, knowing he was telling Lyria about all that had happened since the last time he had visited her grave, just as she did every time she went to Sam’s.

She didn’t know how much time passed, falling into the lull of her husband’s soothing voice, resting her head on his shoulder. Eventually, his story came to an end and he bowed low, pressing his forehead into the ground before the headstone and murmuring a prayer, one that Aelin recognized. The royal family of Terrasen had always passed down prayers and laments in the Old Language.

Rowan sat up, his eyes clearer than they had been, face less tight. Although there was still some sadness in his gaze, it wasn’t as consuming as it was that morning.

Aelin placed a hand on Rowan’s shoulder, inclining her head towards the headstone. “Do you mind if I have a moment?”

He gave a soft smile and nodded, pressing a quick kiss to her temple before pushing to his feet and giving her some space.

Aelin took a moment, sucking down a deep breath before reaching into her pocket and pulling out two stones: one for Lyria, and one for the babe. She placed them gently on the top of the headstone.

“Hello, Lyria,” Aelin began softly. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

She swallowed hard, nervous for some reason.

“I know you prefer flowers, but that’s not what we do where I’m from, so I hope you don’t mind the stones,” she continued. “I- I’m not sure how much you know about me, but my name is Aelin. I’m Rowan’s wife… and his mate.

“He’s told me so much about you, I feel like I know you already,” Aelin said with a tiny laugh. “I wish I had gotten to meet you. I think we would have been good friends.”

Aelin shifted her weight slightly, wetting her lips.

“Maeve tried to convince me that what you shared with Rowan was nothing more than bits of her magic pulling at your strings, but I know that’s not true.” Aelin shook her head. “No. Rowan loved you so much. Hell, he still does. I don’t think he’ll ever stop. He still smiles when he talks about you, still regrets that he didn’t have more time with you in his life.

“So… I suppose I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for loving him, and for making him happy. Thank you for the role you played into making him the male he is today, the male I love with every ounce of my soul.” Aelin felt her eyes begin to burn with tears once more, and didn’t bother to try and stop them as they welled and blurred her vision. “I’m sorry you had to suffer for a role in a game you were forced into. I’m sorry you couldn’t get your happy ending.”

She wiped at her eyes, trying to banish the lump in her throat. She sniffed before holding out her hand and conjuring a rose made of flame, burning bright against the gray sky. She placed it down beside Rowan’s flowers, knowing her magic wouldn’t burn them. The flames wouldn’t last forever, but it was the best gift she could think of giving. A bit of Aelin, a bit of Lyria.

The young queen reached out, placing her fingers against Lyria’s name carved into the stone. “One day, we’ll meet properly. We’ll have a grand time together in the Afterworld.” Aelin pulled back with a little smile. “Until then… goodbye, Lyria.”

Aelin bowed her head, quickly murmuring another prayer, before pushing to her feet. She turned to the side, finding Rowan had not wandered far, and he was looking at her with tears running down his face. He had listened to every word she had uttered to Lyria.

Rowan grinned through the tears, closing the distance between them and wrapping her up tightly in his arms. Aelin more than happily returned it, burying her face in his chest and breathing in his pine and snow scent.

For a while, they didn’t say anything, simply holding one another and strengthening their hearts.

“I know Lyria would have loved you,” Rowan whispered into her hair.

“I’m very likeable.”

Rowan’s chuckle rumbled in his chest, pulling back far enough to look Aelin in the eyes. His hand rested on the curve of her cheek before he kissed her softly. “I love you, Fireheart. So much.”

Aelin kissed him again. “I love you too, Ro.”

He wrapped her back up in his arms, content to stay in the quiet, to think and reminisce, for a bit longer at least. They stood together, looking out over the wilds of Doranelle. Rowan whispered stories about the time he spent there with Lyria, Aelin hanging on to every word he said.

They lingered on the mountainside until the sun began its slow descent.

#aelin!! and!! lyria!! would!! have!! been!! friends!!!#this is the hill i die on #rowaelin #my writing #post-canon fic

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tinyjeanmarco · 4 years ago

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Helloooo 🥺🥺 idk if ur into writing hurt+comfort but I’m in such a big fat mood to cry rn and there’s not a lot Porco angst out here... I was thinking along the lines of modern au and ur already in a relationship but ur incredibly insecure about urself and the relationship, but Porco reassures u in the end that he really does love u and goes out of his way to prove it <3

(I realize u likely won’t get this done tonight and I’ll probs be in a better mood tomorrow BUT it’s still true there isn’t a lot of Porco angst out there!!)

Also if u don’t write angst pls ignore this!! Thank you 💖💖

teddy (a hurt/comfort fic)

hello my darling!! i hope that you’re in a better mood now and don’t want to cry anymore! （＞д＜） remember that it’s okay to cry and to take care of yourself. your body loves you and you should show it just as much love. i do really love hurt/comfort fics! they always make me feel so soft in the comfort part. 🥺 i’ll do my best to write this! i think porco can be a real comforting boyfie that just cares so much about you. ♡ also sorry this was so late after your request, love. (｡ ́︿ ̀｡) i listened to idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish, and emotional anorexic by svavar knutur while i wrote this so you kinda get the vibe i was feeling while writing!

wc: 1,818

modern!porco x gn!reader

warnings: some angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending, i swear.

he’s just busy, you thought as you exited the coffee shop. you clutched the cup in your hand tighter as you checked your phone for what must have been the twentieth time that hour.

you texted your boyfriend, asking if he wanted to do something that day, but alas, it’s been a few hours and no response. you knew he had classes, but they should be done by now, meaning he was just ignoring you at this point.

no, he’s busy. you reminded yourself. yet, you weren’t sure how much longer you could buy that thought. you couldn’t tell if that was true anymore, or if it was just a way to keep your bad thoughts at bay.

you debated texting him again, but were worried that you would annoy him. maybe that was the issue in the first place; he saw your text and wanted a break from you, thus making him ignore you. it had already been nine months since you started dating, maybe he was annoyed with you.

you picked up your pace as you walked back to your apartment, no longer wanting to be around people, in case you broke down in some way. you knew it wasn’t the best to be alone when you felt like this, your friends telling you that getting out and doing things would take your mind off your anxious thoughts.

you couldn’t seem to text anyone to tell them you felt trapped.

stepping inside your apartment, you locked the door behind you and toed off your shoes before making your way to the bedroom. you tossed your keys on a table as you walked by.

your mind just kept racing faster the more you were alone with the silence that was suffocating you. the best course of action was to take a nap, you decided. so, you changed, and put on one of porco’s hoodies that he gave you.

yet, when you settled under the covers, sleep wouldn’t find you. your insecurities picked you apart down to the bone. at this point, you had felt like you were being drowned. it was so hard to swim in the fog that was your head.

your brain had managed to convince you that porco was tired of you, and it was on its way to make you think he would break up with you. in the back of your head, you knew this was false, yet it kept persisting. it wouldn’t leave you alone.

instead of ruminating about things you didn’t want to, you thought maybe putting on one of your sad music playlists would help quiet the thoughts, which, in hindsight was an okay idea at most. it really only served to upset you even more.

you didn’t even notice tears were leaking from your eyes until you found your nose was beginning to clog. you wiped at your eyes, and just cried harder.

you were trying so hard to be okay, but your insecurities would not leave you alone. you hated it so much. you just wished they would leave you alone. tired, you were so tired of always feeling like not enough.

normally, you would communicate to porco about how you were feeling because communication and telling the other how you feel in a relationship is rule number one. yet, you were so convinced he didn’t want anything to do with you at the moment, so you refrained.

the only option left was to just keep crying until sleep somehow made its way to you.

a few hours later is when you woke up, thanks to the constant buzzing of your phone. why couldn’t everyone just leave you alone?

sighing, you did your best to wipe the sleep from your eyes before you squinted at your phone screen to see who was calling.

your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. it was porco. what would he want? was he finally going to break it off? would he tell you that your texts got on his nerves so he needed space?

you decided you didn’t feel like answering it, not wanting to deal with whatever it is he had to tell you. you weren’t mad at him, you just didn’t want to be even more hurt than you were already. that means ignoring everything completely.

after the phone finally stopped ringing, you kept getting texts from him but you just put your phone on do not disturb and shut your eyes again.

you had fallen alseep again, but it didn’t last as long as earlier, because you happened to hear a soft knocking on your bedroom door. shooting up into a sitting position, you scanned your room for a nearby weapon. who the fuck was in your apartment?

the answer came when a gentle voice, which you didn’t want to hear, followed the knocks.

“baby? are you in there?” and ever so slowly, the door pushed open. your body felt like it was made of lead as he stepped into the room. you forgot you had given him the spare key.

“oh, were you asleep? i’m sorry if i woke you, sweetheart.” he made his way over to your bed and sat himself on the side of it.

“yeah, i was asleep. it’s fine though, i needed to wake up anyways.” you mumbled out. he nodded before speaking again.

“what’s got you down? and don’t tell me nothing because i know you only take naps when you’re upset or it’s exam week.” he reached a hand out to take yours, gently stroking the top of it with his thumb.

“are you tired of me?” you blurred out, not quite answering his question, but to porco, that was enough of an answer that he got what was going on.

“no, no, no, baby. why do you think that? talk to me, honey.” his other hand that was not in yours, reached up to gently cup your face, encouraging you to speak.

“i dunno, you had to be not answering my texts for a reason.” you sniffled, tears coming to your eyes again today. when would they just stop and let you be happy?

“i’m so sorry, baby. my phone died today after i got called in for an emergency shift at work, and i didn’t have a charger at work. i promise you, i’m not tired of you. i was thinking of you the whole time i was working. i’d rather be with you then at that dump.” he gave a small squeeze to your hand. you squeezed back.

you had felt a little of the weight lift off your heart at his words, but you had spent so long today just overthinking and assuming you were right. the sadness wasn’t going to go away immediately.

“i’m sorry i overthink so much and always make you deal with it.” he just tutted and crawled on the bed to plant himself right beside you, pulling you into his chest.

“don’t you dare apologize. you know i care about you and have no problem making you feel more comfortable.” you felt yourself melt at his words and sink into his embrace. with every word he spoke, the thoughts in your head got quieter and quieter.

you closed your eyes and just listened to his heartbeat for a second before saying anything else. one of his hands reached up to your face and wiped the last of the tears away.

“thank you, porco.” you sighed and snuggled in even closer.

“you don’t need to thank me, this is what i’m here for.” a kiss is pressed to the top of your head, and you feel him shift. “now, how about i run to get stuff to cook for you and we can spend the rest of the night in?”

“you don’t have to, pock. i’m okay with just ordering a pizza or something.” you turned to him and pressed a kiss onto his nose before connecting your lips together.

“but i wanna.” he mumbled into your lips, not wanting to break the kiss.

you eventually reluctantly agreed, and decided to hop in the shower to melt away the rest of the day’s stress as you waited for him to return. he promised it would only be fifteen minutes max that he’d be gone.

the hot water running down your back felt like heaven. you could feel the knots in your neck and shoulders just dissolve under the heat. you were okay, not like earlier when you were wrapped up in despair.

you still felt tired and a little numb from the thoughts that polluted your head that day, but at least you no longer felt the need to cry. now you just craved the touch and comfort of your boyfriend, whenever he returned.

as you were getting dressed after your shower, you heard porco call out that he had returned from his shopping adventure. pulling his hoodie back over your head, you shuffled out to where he was unloading the groceries he had purchased.

when he saw you, he hurried to grab something he set aside and made his way over to you.

he got you a giant, cuddly teddy bear and some of your favorite chocolate bars.

“what’s all this for?” you inquired.

“i got it for you, to help cheer you up and kind of apologize for being irresponsible.” he scratched the back of his neck, a light red dusting his cheeks.

“pock.. i don’t know what to say. you really didn’t have to do this.” you took the bear from his hands and hugged it close to you.

“but i really wanted to, and it’s to make up for you being sad. whenever i’m not around, you can just hug the bear and pretend it’s me.” he set the chocolate aside on the counter and went to pull you into a hug, effectively squishing the stuffed bear between your bodies.

“this bear will never live up to the expectations of cuddling with you, pock.” you let out a small chuckle.

“well, then i guess i’ll just have to be sure to cuddle you as much as i can.” he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“you won’t hear me complaining.” you leaned into him and pressed your lips together, craving his affection. “now, please cook for me, baby. i’m really hungry.”

you tried to give him the best puppy eyes you could muster. he laughed and gave you another quick kiss before pulling away and turning to the rest of the things he bought.

“of course, just make sure you sit there looking pretty and i’ll get right to it.” you finally felt a big grin form on your face, finally relaxed.

you hated that you could get so sad and insecure sometimes, but porco understood you, he didn’t judge you. you could always trust him to pick up the broken pieces when you didn’t feel okay.

#porco x reader #porco galliard x reader #aot #attack on titan fanfiction #aot x reader #snk #snk x reader #porco #porco galliard

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clefairymuke · 4 years ago

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Hiii! I just read your announcement i’m so happy you are my favourite fanfic writer EVER! I can’t wait to see whats to come! Anyway, I have a request for a fluffy aot oneshot :3 (set in season 3/2 ofc bc 4 is too angsty) I have this idea of an Armin x Reader or Levi x reader , where reader is rlly smart about titan stuff which helps them in a mission outside the walls and Armin/Levi notice this and kind of compliments them ?

(sorry for my english it isn’t my first language, and i’ll probably send a lot of requests i’m sorry I really love your writing you can ignore me if i’m annoying) C

you’re not annoying at all omg!! your english is great. thank you so much for sending a request! i'm gonna be honest, angst is literally my fucking life. idk if i’ll ever be able to write anything without including a little bit of angst lmao. i took a liiiiittle bit of freedom with the prompt because reading it put this idea in my head that i absolutely couldn’t get rid of. i hope you enjoy it!! <3

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Pieces | Levi x Reader

pairing: levi x reader

themes: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

tw: mentions of death and violence

word count: 1147

Returning from a mission outside the walls was never easy. The cart that carried the bodies was always full of soldiers who paid the ultimate price in the name of humanity. It puzzled you at times; you wondered why those willing to give everything they had for freedom they may never get to taste were the ones that had to wind up dead; was it not cruel? Why were the best souls, the ones ready to achieve freedom for people they had never even met no matter the cost, always deprived of a full life?

The idea threatened tears to your eyes as you shut the door to Levi’s suite behind you. You ran your hand through your hair as you noticed his absence; you hoped he would return soon. As you practically fell onto the couch on the far side of the room, your tears fell too.

Of course, you were used to death -- even comfortable with it -- as was required of any soldier. Every so often, though, a mission would leave you in shambles. You would witness as a starry eyed cadet or a long-serving friend was torn to pieces in front of you, and it would be too much to handle. Every few missions, you would fall to pieces.

After your first few months with Levi, he started to notice this pattern. At first, he considered that you weren’t fit to be a soldier -- sitting next to someone sobbing after a successful mission would make anyone think that. Soon, however, he came to the conclusion that you didn’t show your compassion in the same way he did. He would pack the patches of fallen Scouts in his desk drawer while you came apart only yards away, and he would be there to pick up the pieces.

You tucked your knees into your chest and recounted the mission over again in your head, seeing the faces of all those who didn’t return. The hot tears did not cease running down your face. You turned your head toward the door as it clicked open, your eyes meeting one of Levi’s boots against the wood floor before they traveled upward to see his face, as emotionless as ever. It took one moment of looking at you for his eyes to soften.

He walked across the room, away from you, stopping silently at his desk. He pulled the patches -- at least ten of them -- from his jacket and laid them to rest among the others within the drawer, the smallest of frowns crossing his lips as he pushed it closed. He stood there for a second, eyes shut and his hand still grasping the handle of the drawer -- a moment of silence, you could call it. Your sniffles brought him back to reality.

He walked carefully over to where you sat, his grey eyes soft with understanding as he placed his hand on your cheek, wiping a tear away with his thumb. He sat next to you, his arm coming to rest around your shoulders. He pulled you tightly into his chest and allowed his other hand to cradle your cheek, silent permission to let it all go. And so you did. You felt your tears soak through his shirt almost immediately as your chest heaved with pain.

“I know,” he whispered into your hair, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Listen to me.” He pulled you gently away from him, holding both sides of your face so that you would look him in the eyes. You nodded at him, your blurred vision still able to discern the concerned lift of his eyebrows and the worry in his pupils. “Do you know how many lives you saved today?” He still whispered, his own form of a comforting tone that you had come to find solace in. Still, you shook your head at him.

“You knew exactly how to distract that abnormal. Using the flares was genius, and you thought of it so quickly. So many more would have died if not for you,” he told you, drawing shapes on your cheeks with his thumbs.

“People still died, Levi. I didn’t do much of anything. You ended up killing it. You should be congratulating yourself,” you replied, voice groggy from tears and breaking every so often.

“I wouldn’t have had an opening to kill it if not for you. The only person I know that understands titans better than you is Hange. You don’t realize how valuable you are, love.” You could see in his eyes that he hoped this would be the end of it -- that you would accept that many more would’ve died had you not been there, and you would cheer up. He knew better than his hopes, however, and thought it would take more. He was okay with that.

He started again, voice unwavering, “Ever since you joined the Scouts, we’ve come so much further. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Today aside, you’ve saved hundreds. I’m not sure what would’ve happened if you weren’t with us today.”

You nodded, the heaving of your chest coming slower and your tears becoming sparse. He wiped away what was starting to dry with the back of his hand, never letting his eyes leave yours. He kissed your forehead, letting his fingers trail through your hair, softly pulling out knots as your breathing slowed.

“That’s my favorite thing about you, you know,” he continued softly. “How smart you are. You know so much about them, and it makes you a better soldier. The more you know, the better you understand. That’s why it’s so easy for you to solve problems like that abnormal today. The way you think, it just -- it amazes me.”

You felt the beginnings of the smallest smile come to your lips, relishing in his praise. Levi wasn’t the most sentimental of people; compliments are few and far between in a typical day. You leaned your head into his neck, finally calming enough to enjoy the warmth radiating from his body. His hands were unexpectedly soft as they ran under your shirt to rub your back in the most comforting manner you’d ever come to know.

“I love you, you know,” he whispered, lips pressed against your temple. You let your arms loop around his waist and lifted your head to look up at him.

“I love you,” you answered, knowing tears stained your red, puffy face. You knew he didn’t mind. His hand caressed your cheek with the most gentle of touches as he pulled you in for a kiss, first grazing your lips with his as if he was asking for permission before kissing you deeply and without restraint.

A few more months from now, you knew, you would be here again; but it didn’t seem to matter as long as he was there to pick up every piece.

#AoT #aot x reader #levi aot #aot oneshots #fluff #levi attack on titan #levi fluff #hurt/comfort #angst #levi angst #levi ackerman oneshot #attack on titan #snk x reader #snk #snk oneshot #shingeki no kyojin

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