#//i think. his worldview is really interesting. he doesn't like to lie but also ends up lying to himself a lot. saying he's fine with thing

[kitakami-zorua-kin]

Not everything needs a meaning There's a reason for the existence of the term idling, while I prefer getting stuff done recreational breaks are important, and I wouldn't say we have been arguing now have we? More of a civil discussion.

I'm called on-your-side anon or Oys for short btw nice to formally meet you,l I'm the one sending those lengthy/ier asks.

as for this place since its a multiverse there is an abundance of info, be it alters of yourself or people you know or entirely new ones, that you can use if you are willing, sure takes a while to get to that info but I believe it's rather gratifying to find what others do wrong and process this info as so to not do the same. There's a lot to be learned here if you are willing

//I'll definitely check them out if they pop up again thanks I love collecting new blogs.

Also for you tell me one thing about your version of the siblings you added to them, or in Russet's case created, that you absolutely adore.

Also I'm sorry I keep writing Russet's name differently every ask, I kinda use the qwerty and the qwertz layout, and multiple language packs on my phone so autocorrect fuddles Sometimes and I don't notice

... I guess. I just prefer to stay busy - there's always something that needs to be done in the club, or I could be training...

Oys. It's... You aren't awful, at least. You seem sensible. I can appreciate that.

... I guess I can see the merits of that. Information is a form of power, of strength. ... Though I doubt most are as sensible as you seem to be, from what I've experienced here.

[googledetective]

my thoughts about the new drdt episode...

I want to start off that this episode has not left me in a great mental state and this piece of fiction is starting to effect my reality in a negative way, currently. I do suffer from mental health issues, so please be sympathetic. If something I say seems too emotional or a bit off, that's likely why. My therapist will be hearing about drdt, lol. No hate towards drdt, it's an amazing project, and I'm amazed at how the piece of fiction is able to make me react in such a way.

1. I am not educated on ASPD or anything like that, so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me. I had a feeling that Levi likely had it from his secret, but this is a cool confirmation. I like that this is represented in a really great way, and that the reactions to his confessions are also very realistic. I like Levi a lot, but now I understand him so much more, and it makes me really appreciate him.

2. I find it interesting how Levi is so detached, as Veronika said, to everything. Even if I was not capable of remorse, I would've remembered killing my own father. I wonder what his father did to be so looked down upon.

2.5. OKAY SO HES KINDA JUST LIKE ME FR. like I stated previously I've had some bad mental health issues in the past to the point I've kicked windshields of cars in and attacked people. It is not my proudest moment, but holy shit I can relate to this a lot. It makes me so good to see someone who's done shit like I've done who's trying to change.

3. Ace really did care about Levi and considered him a friend, which warmed and broke my heart at the same time. I really hope Ace finds another friend, because he deserves to feel some comfort and joy. I hope he learns about Levi's ASPD and realizes Levi has no malicious intent towards him. I find it nice that Ace did really trust and look up to Levi though, it proves him capable of friendship and deeper feelings that people usually overlook. Great complex character.

4. I was shocked that Levi sided with David, but honestly I do too. David is a good person, and we see that later in the ep where he doesn't tell Eden what Arei said.

5. J CALLED OUT HU??? UNEXPECTED. called her a stupid argument moderator. Interesting. I love you J, but watch it.

6. Veronika's secret isn't the worst thing she's ever done- interesting. I think it could be the thing she's the most ashamed of, but you never know. It really breaks my heart for Hu, and I hope we get a backstory on her soon.

I'm coming back after point 14 and adding this: these secrets don't seem to be any of the worst things they've ever done, nor relevant to the killing game (besides "Xander's"). These secrets are personal. I think they each have worse secrets but they are too related to the killing game so they couldn't give those out.

7. Excuse you, David. Freaky ass.

8. that is NOT Teruko's secret 😭😭😭

9. This is seriously rich coming from J, as she usually escalates the situation.

10. Eden's monologue broke my heart. I am so glad David lied to her at the end, or I think Eden's heart would've been broken. This just makes me so sad.

11. "That maybe there would be a world in which we would be friends." I'm sure there would be, since your fans have created worlds that you're dating her.

12. Arei needs to genuinely shut up. This is where I get very upset and irrational. I am so fucking mad at Arei for lying to Eden. For the rest of Eden's life she's going to be wondering what she could've done or if her friendship was enough. Why the fuck would you lie and say you believed you could change, only to come back and admit you know you can't. My heart breaks for Arei though, because I believe she could've changed. This especially makes me so upset because as a previously bad person who relates to Arei and tries to change, I feel like I'm going to give up hope to do so too. Obviously I gotta overpower and not let fiction effect my reality, but it really hurts.

13. Arei's worldview that nobody is a good person mirrors David's (though David excludes Xander). Makes me really sad. I can hope, but there's really no hope left.

14. Well we know who attacked Xander (what the actual fuck). I hope we learn how that ties in later. Eden's hidden quote, "you can never go back, no matter how hard you try." maybe it's referring to this incident instead of the situationship with her friends in the past.

15. Love this.

16. WE HAD A JRUKO MOMENT!!! So happy about this!!!

17. Why the actual fuck does Whit know so much about how that hanging mechanism would work. You're making yourself look so suspicious. High and low were highlighted, which was interesting.

18. Whit said this murder would've been hard if Arei wasn't a willing victim. If she was, this just makes this case even more tragic. She may have convinced herself to give up hope and cooperated with the killer, which pains me a lot. I think this was due to David's secret.

19. I love the carousel bit! And the banter between Arturo and Whit. They had banter last trial too, so that's a continuation. Maybe they'll have a confrontation in the future.

20. NICO FUCKED BRO

21. At this point my only logical conclusion of who I think the killer could be is J.

22. Everyone is bringing up Ace's friend- Taylor! It's seriously throwing me for a loop bc that's my name!

ENDING:

To clarify, I think it's sad that Arei believes she can't change and even started doubting Eden.

[katatonicimpression]

Has Exodus been Redeemed?

So, I saw someone posting about this the other day, and they made two really good points. Summarised here:

Bennet being redeemed because of Krakoa is weird and bad.

Any redemption Bennet gets should involve children because of that thing when he kinda maybe sorta tried to kill Luna

And yes these are both good points but also... are we supposed to think of current bennet as redeemed at all?

Some thoughts on all the above:

Is Bennet actually doing anything different now than he was in Messiah Complex?

I mean, no. Right?

When it comes down to it, Bennet's moral failings are quite straight forward. He doesn't care who he hurts, who he kills, so long as he conceptualises it as a step towards securing the salvation of mutantkind. He is myopic, narrowly focused on whatever he's decided his goal is, and his thought process is (sorry babe) irrational. He is not stable. He's not able to recognise that instability. Neither is he able to recognise his own hypocrisy when it arises. His worldview warps to make sense with whatever he's decided he needs to do. And, when all is said and done, he'll say it was God's plan.

So, he's like any old cult leader or anti vax podcaster, really. He pedals dangerous nonsense and has the just the right combination of personality flaws and mental illness to still be a true believer and a moral crusader.

Or he's like, you know, a crusader.

In Messiah Complex - an almost incoherent sprawling mess of a crossover event from 2007 - Bennet is distraught and struggling after M Day and ends up taking his Acolytes to meet Mr Sinister because he has come to believe that the only solutions lie in mad scientism or something. Bennet gets on his knees for him (literally) and then he and his Acolytes team up with the Marauders to fight the xmen because something something Destiny's diaries something something baby something something ice-stique something something. Bennet straight up vanishes from the story before it concludes. Idk maybe he went out for lunch.

Anyway, I bring it up as an example of a time where Bennet is looking for direction is his Holy War, joins forces with other mutants/mutates, and tolerates an uneasy alliance because he is 100% devoted to the mission.

Psychologically speaking, is bennet really behaving any differently in the krakoa era? Is he making different kinds of decisions? I don't think so.

In fact, Krakoa challenges his character less than Messiah complex. Which is weird, because in the latter he's straightforwardly a villain. Krakoa era Exodus is not a villain, not even an antagonist.

(I guess he's Sinister's casual antagonist in Hellions, but a) that's a comedic role and b) Nathaniel is the villain of hellions so that wouldn't even count)

He's not a heroic character either. He's just kind of an entity. Protagonist of one issue of Immortal X-Men and primarily featured as an interesting member of the supporting cast.

Krakoa offers Bennet a course of action where he is able to do what he always does (throw himself wholeheartedly at a mutant supremacist project while thinking of himself as the good guy in all of this). He is a defender of Krakoa and an ally to their cause.

So, this is not an arc. Categorically, it is not a character arc of any kind because he does not change. So, in that sense it's not a redemption arc either. But of course he is a character who has gone from villain to "guy who's on the side you're rooting for"

I think it's not wrong, then, to argue that what we're seeing from Fall of X era Exodus is the presentation of an unearned redemption. He's good/better now, but no actual story arc is there to back it up. He's not grown or changed or learnt anything. He's not been challenged. There is nothing in the text to suggest that he would now see non mutant lives as valuable, worth sparing.

So... is this bad writing?

He has not changed or learnt anything, are we supposed to believe otherwise?

The Krakoa era contains many in-story critiques of the nation it depicts, and to mixed results. Interestingly, Bennet is not heavily featured in this regard. Throwaway comments about him being scary or insane are tossed around, but he is not meaningfully involved in a story that questions the ideology of Krakoa - or of his ideology specifically.

It's hard to tell, then, what we're looking at. Let's roughly divide it into two possibilities:

Bennet is being portrayed as nicer, somewhat redeemed, and the mission of Krakoa is understood to be a virtuous endeavour.

Krakoa is understood to be a morally flawed endeavour, and Bennet is just being his same old self and not redeemed at all.

2 seems closer to what Gillen is doing in my opinion, but I think there's room for debate.

It's not like immortal xmen is really about the moral implications in the flaws of Krakoa. It's much more focused on the psychology of the characters on the Quiet Council and their interpersonal conflict and intrigue.

But, of course, explosions go boom.

Despite the intimate themes of immortal xmen (and its adjacent minis and oneshots), its overarching plot threads primarily involve krakoa being threatened with annihilation (inferno, judgement day, dominion crap, miscellaneous orchis crap, etc). Because of this, bennet is primarily featured as a defender of the people of Krakoa when they are under attack. This absolutely does lend itself to interpretation 1, wherein Exodus' zealotry is position's as a (complicated) good in the necessary and just cause of Krakoa.

To me, it feels like gillen is telling a story featuring characters who are predominantly morally grey or outright villainous, and using a setting and plot backdrop that forces them into the same or similar boat, allowing the writing to explore their intricacies. If the setting and plot were too normal - if it were one where the heroes would refuse to work with the villains or one where the villains were constantly being antagonists - many of those more interesting character beats would be cut off.

However, I don't think he has fully succeeded in this regard. The overarching thread of the innocents of krakoa being in mortal danger and needing protection is one that has moral implications. It does end up framing Bennet heroically, even when the on-page material does keep reminding you that he's, you know, a deranged zealot.

There's more that can be said about how the fact that Krakoa is constantly under threat of total extinction undermines any attempt at nuance in its portrayal, and how it contributes to the greatest failings of this era. But I do plan to write that retrospective soon so I'll save it for later.

For now, I'll say that to me it feels like the intent was not to tell a story of redemption arcs at all. Instead, morality was not the focus and the storytelling deliberately steers away from the pedagogical. However, despite this intent, the shape of a redemption story remains, simply due to the nature of Bennets role in Krakoa.

Won't somebody please think of the children?

The one way in which we arguably do see change in Bennet is with The Children.

Bennet is shown telling stories to the children of Krakoa, teaching them and, also, protecting them. His interactions with Kafka in X-Men Forever are a good example of this.

The thing with Luna (he takes her from Fabian who was, unsurprisingly, responsible for all this mess) is a pretty bleak moment in Bennet's history. It also I believe leads to him being stabbed by Dane which I can't imagine him enjoying.

Bennets canon history is actually kind of weird. He's one of those characters with a lot of "idek how he got out of that but he turned up later on so he must have" in his wiki. The krakoa era is probably the most prolonged, stable period of his existence where the audience has had a strong sense of where he's at and what he's doing for the last five years.

Similarly, in universe the krakoa era could well be the first time Bennet's life has been anything close to normal for a long time. He has a home that isn't a supervillain lair, and actual down time for the first time since Mags woke him up. He is walking around in public and kinda sorta socialising for possibly the first time in his entire life.

He has that line about how he's old and wise, and that other line about how he's not naive (a repeat - he says it in the 90s and in krakoa) and both of those things are lies. Because he's, you know, a delusional cult leader. He is not literally old. He was a young man (which in medieval terms could literally mean still in his teens) when he went into that coma. And it's been 30 years real time since he woke up. But no characters who were adults then have aged in that time (and some (emma) have got younger) so whatever it is in universe it's not more than a few years. He's still in his 20s in my interpretation. Moreover, his life experience is extreme social isolation and a series of fanatical violent cults. He is naive. He's not wise.

He's also not really had a chance to just be and coexist with other people. So, in that sense it's not weird to see him be kind to children in Krakoa. Nothing we've seen technically contradicts the idea that he would be. Willingness to threaten a child in one situation and the ability to genuinely care for children aren't actually contradictory. But emotionally, there is resonance to showing this softness to him in this regard.

So, this is the one area where you could say there has been a meaningful change to Bennet, but again it has no narrative arc to it. Beyond simply the implication that if you let this guy chill for a minute, he eventually does mellow a bit.

But it is nice. And it is fitting.

Static characters and hypocrisy

Bennet is a character who fundamentally is incapable of seeing himself as being in the wrong. This is baked right into the type of villain that he is.

Redemption arcs can come in a lot of different forms. Sometimes the fictional universe has concrete concepts of good and evil, and a redemption is about aligning yourself spiritually with the good side (e.g. star wars) or by fulfilling some abstract metaphysical requirement (e.g. Buffy). Sometimes the emphasis is on doing the work to improve yourself (e.g. zuko), and sometimes it's a grand gesture at the right moment. Sometimes it's because a bigger bad came along, sometimes the redeemed one suffers a lot, sometimes they don't.

There's also the fun cartooney type of redemption arc where the bad guy is forced to just kinda hang out with the heroes and becomes part of the team by osmosis. Tgis is a personal fave but I don't think it suits Bennet - he should have an actual arc if it happens at all.

So, if there's an actual arc, it could vary a lot but one thing it requires is introspection and for the character's flaws to actually be confronted in the text.

Now, is it possible to write something like that for Bennet? Yes.

There are limitations, as with any character. He wouldn't suit an arc than evokes a grandiose good/evil darkside/lightside dichotomy because part of his problem is that he already thinks like that. Similarly, you would have to be careful when introducing a character foil (someone to be azula to his zuko for example) because he is not self aware enough to recognise his own flaws in the other. In general, he's someone who can very easily externalise any moral lesson he learns. It's doable, but difficult.

The example I want to evoke is Isaac from Netflix Castlevania. Isaac's storyline in s3 is basically him just travelling from A to B, and on the way he encounters these little vignettes. Some affirm his world view in s2 (aka "humanity sucks might as well help Dracula kill everyone") and some gently challenge it (e.g. "you should consider having friends") and he talks about it. He does philosophy. He reasons through his positions. And, eventually he starts to change. By the time he confronts Hector in s4, he's no longer here for revenge. He's moved on. He's now acting according to what he thinks will make things better.

I love this. I love that it's completely internal as an arc and I love how much agency isaac has. And I love that the dialogue is genuinely clever. Most philosophy dialogue in pop culture is written to just sound deep, but in castlevania they really managed to maintain meaning and coherence throughout.

And obviously the shape of Bennets arc would be different to this, but the idea of a well crafted "man does philosophy, sees the abstract concepts illustrated in narrative vignettes as he does so, and then eventually changes for the better". And a good writer could do this for him.

But should they?

So, this is that lingering thing. You redeem a villain in a comic book and now you've lost that villain. You let Exodus meaningfully improve and then he's no longer available to churn out as a big or medium bad. Maybe you might want to keep Bennet's delightful combination of flaws because it allows you to explore them. Maybe a redeemed Bennet isn't really Bennet anymore, or doesn't have what you want from him as a character. You make the unselfaware villain introspect then what are you left with?

A happier character, sure. But maybe not a good ingredient for a story.

And with bennet, the kind of introspection and self confrontation needed for a redemption arc would change him a lot. It would change him at his very foundation.

Does that mean he's doomed to be a static character? Not necessarily. I think it would be possible to bring shape to his storylines without shaking those foundations, but it is limiting. And also, they don't focus on him enough to do it.

Conclusion

The title of this section is a such a joke because I have nothing conclusive to say. I feel like if you read this far, you've been tricked.

I think Exodus makes for an interesting villain, and (imho) is actually best suited to be posed as not the only/main villain in a story. A supporting antagonist, if you will.

But that doesn't mean seeing him in a protagonist role isn't welcome. I loved it the one time it happened. And as for uncomplicated heroics? No, he's not there yet. And if he got there, it would involve a pretty hefty change to his character.

But it's not like I would be mad if it happens. We don't need a crusader villain (especially as I personally don't think Bennet's zealotry is well suited to paralleling modern religious extremism - at least not the mainstream stuff) and hell, I want to see what a fully sympathetic write of him would look like. Maybe he'd get to talk to Dane again. That could be fun.

But it doesn't look like that's going to happen. He'll probably continue to hover in this "villainous ally" space for the foreseeable future. He's in heir of apocalypse. I doubt he'll get a lot to do.

Anyway. Thanks guys if you made it this far. Hope you have a nice day. I'm currently spending billable hours sitting in a stairwell writing essays about comics. What a time we live in.

[that-ari-blogger]

The Wizard Is Wrong (Wonderful)

Across the story of Wicked, the audience has been introduced to characters with varying relationships to the concept of truth. From Elphaba’s unwavering honesty, to Glinda’s dissonant worldview, to the Wizard, who is an idiot and a liar.

I don’t think either of the observations about the Wizard are particularly groundbreaking. What I think is interesting, is how these two cancel each other out. As in, when the wizard tries to lie, he ends up saying things that are true. But this isn’t as obvious for most of the musical because the Wizard spends the entirety of it lying through his teeth.

But what happens when the Wizard tries to be honest? Well, then you get Wonderful.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked)

The context around this song is that Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs (The Wizard) is trying to convince Elphaba to join him. He has tried deceit and bargaining, but Elphaba is clever, and has called his bluff. So now he is trying a different tactic, honesty. Unfortunately for him, that's not something he's good at.

“Then suddenly I'm here Respected, worshipped, even Just because the folks in Oz Needed someone to believe in Does it surprise you I got hooked, and all too soon? What can I say? I got carried away And not just by balloon”

In other words, Oz was like this when I got here, I can’t possibly be to blame, right? And if we were to use his version of events, things are simple.

But as it happens, the audience has already been told that this is false. It isn’t an accident that Doctor Dillamond taught history, and that provides some more information. Diggs came to Oz after a drought, and people were looking for people to blame.

The Wizard then stepped into this world, and because he fell from the sky, he was handed everything on a platter. Essentially, Diggs is living a power fantasy.

But on an even more basic level, the people looked to the Wizard for help, and he used that need for personal gain and to oppress a specific group. Even from what he said, he is fully culpable for the current state of Oz, because he actively made the problem worse.

“So you lied to them” “Elphaba, where I'm from We believe all sorts of things that aren't true We call it ‘history’”

This is… complicated. It’s a half-truth misremembered and twisted to fit Diggs’ beliefs. The real idea that this is inspired by is historical bias. By which I mean, if you are being pedantic, it is impossible to be 100% accurate about historical events. You can get really close, but because of biases and contexts that weren’t written down and fragmentary evidence, being entirely accurate is impossible.

There is a difference between “not having all the information”, and “believing a lie”.

Voiceplay is an Accapella Band who gave their take on the musical as a whole that I highly recommend, and Geoff Castelucci's bass during Wonderful is really good.

The Wizard exists under the effects of a pretty strong Bandwagon Fallacy. Everyone else is doing it, so that makes it ok. But he’s wrong about everyone else, and he’s wrong about whether other people’s actions justify his. In that way, he is an equal opposite to Elphaba, who seeks to do the right thing despite nobody else wanting to make that choice, while Diggs uses those around him as an excuse.

"A man's called a traitor or liberator A rich man's a thief or philanthropist Is one a crusader or ruthless invader? It's all in which label is able to persist"

This is, again, a misremembered half-truth. Because yes, historical bias does exist. There are historical figures who were less than perfect. But that doesn't mean reality changes to match modern biases.

Also, this doesn't actually answer the question he was asked. Diggs was told to justify his decision to become a cult of personality, and his answer was: "history is made of lies". Again, there is a difference between historians simplifying thigs and a person making up a persona for themself. But again, the Wizard suffers from a Bandwagon Fallacy, and so he thinks that this makes him right.

That there is the key, the Wizard is convinced that he is in the right here. But he isn't. The world doesn't work the way he thinks it does. So when he finally leads into his offering, it is already dubious.

"At long, long last receive your due long overdue Elphaba, the most celebrated are the rehabilitated There'll be such a whoop-de-doo A celebration throughout Oz That's all to do with you"

The Wizard is offering Elphaba what he thinks she wants, because it's what he wants; praise. The Wizard covets attention and is convinced that everyone else is the same, so Elphaba must want that same praise, right?

Not anymore. In The Wizard And I, this is explicitly one of the things Elphaba dreamed of, but now she has learned too much. Diggs is ok with Oz's flaws because they benefit him, Elphaba can't be.

I'm sure The Wizard believes that second bit, but I don't agree. Based just on Oz itself, in what parallel timeline will the people just accept Elphaba after the metric ton of trite that has been talked up about her. The Wizard thinks that prejudice will just go away if you conform, but that isn't how it works at all, and Elphaba knows it.

"If that's love, it comes at much too higher cost."

Different song, but it's a perfect putdown to the entirety of the Wizard's antics. He may believe what he is saying, but he is wrong. The acceptance he offers is fake and means that Elphaba must sacrifice everything she wants to achieve it. That isn't worth it.

Final Thoughts

For all of his posturing, the Wizard is a remarkably simple character. He wants power, and he lies to get it. But if you combine that with his utterly scuffed worldview, you get some really interesting side effects.

He is also narcissistic, which doesn't exactly help his position. The world has bent over backwards to service his needs, and he has never truly known hardship. He is the stereotypical Iseki protagonist that gives the rest of the genre a bad name, the true Mary Sue.

The problem is, he's also bloody charismatic and fun to watch, which means people listen to him. I've heard people in real life agreeing with his line about labels, and it drives me up the wall.

Next week, I will be looking at the reprise of I'm not that girl, and Glinda's self reflection, as well as As Long As You're Mine. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[coffeebanana]

📚 Adrien, Ivan, Rose

💔 Kagami

💎 anyone

Thank you so much for the ask!! (i am sorry this is months late but you know when a deadline has passed and suddenly your brain is like "oops this isn't a thing i need to do at all anymore" even though that's a lie? well this is like that, except the deadline was arbitrary aksjkfsdjbf. so yeah this has been sitting in my drafts half-finished for a while 😭) 📚 assign some characters to be in a group project together, and I’ll tell you how that would go (Adrien, Ivan, Rose) Ooooh! This is such an interesting group to think about! Ok, well, Adrien spends the first five minutes trying to shake his disappointment that he didn't get put into Marinette's group, but it doesn't take long for him to get sucked into his group's enthusiasm.

Rose has like 10 billion ideas with varying degrees of over-the-topness and wants to put glitter and everything. Initially Ivan is shy about sharing his own thoughts, but Rose and Adrien encourage him until he does, and they love his ideas. Ivan is also familiar with handling Rose's more extra ideas from their experience in Kitty Section, so he's very helpful in whittling them down into realistic concepts they can actually use. Adrien ends up the de facto leader of the group, since he's the best at organizing the ideas and thinking practically about what they'll need to execute them, but if asked he claims it was 100% a team effort.

All in all, they only get accidentally covered in glitter once, so it's a success. (Months later, Adrien still finds the occasional bit of glitter in his room, since you can't ever get rid of glitter not EVER it always stays around. It always makes him think of his friends, which makes him smile.)

💔 send me a character, and I’ll tell you some canon tidbit(s) I like about them that no one ever talks about (Kagami)

akjsdbkj I'm going to be honest: this is the question that tripped me up and made me accidentally put this ask aside for months, because I don't know. It's hard because she doesn't get a lot of screen time, so I can't really think about things people never talk about. But she doesn't get talked about enough in general so anything is fair game 😎(thank you littlebug server for your help with this akjbsfdk) I think one thing I love about her is like...her growth throughout the series? Because when we first meet Kagami it's very clear she has a very specific worldview and particular ideas about how things should be, but throughout her interactions with Marinette and Adrien throughout the series you see her considering their POVs more and more and developing who she is outside of who her mother wants her to be. Like, her deciding to befriend Marinette, or her sneaking off to date Adrien, or when she calls Adrien in risk (I saw her get a lot of flack for that scene but I freaking loved it). And I think that's one of the reasons I love Marigami so much, because Kagami's relationship with Marinette, be it friendship or something romantic, really pushes Kagami out of her comfort zone. And Kagami pushes Marinette in other ways. They really balance each other out in a cool way.

💎 Ask me about rare pairs I wasn't sure if this was supposed to refer to a specific rare pair or like rare pairs in general, so I'll ramble a little about both. It's funny, actually; prior to this fandom I was never really a multishipper. But this fandom has a lot of great rare pair content and it sucked me in! (Especially because it gives me an excuse to write more sapphic ships ahaha.) I love writing rare pairs because it lets me explore familiar characters in new ways and get to know characters I'm not well acquainted with a lot better. Plus, it's fun coming up with backstories/headcanons for characters that don't get as much screentime in canon--it's like flexing brain muscles I don't use when I write love square fics. And yeah...Marigami is my favourite rare pair in the fandom for sure, but I already talked a bit about why I love them in the last question so I'm also going to talk a little about Alyanette because my brain's been thinking things about them lately. Hands down my favourite thing about Alyanette is how their relationship is built on like...a mutual admiration for each other? Like, you have this really cool set-up where Alya looks up to Ladybug, but Marinette only followed through on becoming Ladybug because of how much she looked up to Alya--and BOTH of those things were established so quickly, like their gut reactions to meeting each other was basically just mutual admiration. And you get to see them gain a deeper understanding for each other as the series goes on and it's just lovely. We need more Alyanette content in the world <3

[aotopmha]

Attack On Titan Chapter 118 Thoughts

Aside from a few smaller moments, I think there really are just two big points to talk about in this chapter:

1) We're given much more direct doubt about Eren's apparent agreement to Zeke's plan and through that, also to Historia's apparent pregnancy and Eren's claims about the Ackerbond being a thing.

2) Gabi's and Falco's arcs have at least in a large capacity moved towards being done. I feel like there might be a little bit more coming from them from this point on, but they now have pretty clearly-defined character arcs.

So, going to the first point, we're just straight-up told Eren might be lying.

I really like that there is doubt in the claim that he's lying, as I think there should be after Eren broke everyone's trust like he did.

Mikasa leaving her scarf behind, Connie having enough of being betrayed, Armin trying to reason it out and Jean admitting his envy are all great in-character moments to show everyone's doubts and hopes about Eren and add just the right enough needed nuance to the situation. Eren can't just treat everyone like shit and abuse their trust in him without any kind of doubt from all of them.

I think Mikasa leaving her scarf behind is particularly nicely handled. It feels like she is leaving it behind in case the doubts about Eren turn out to be true, it’s not a heavy-handed "I'm done with him forever" moment, but rather a much more mature, nuanced "we'll see" moment as I think is appropriate for her character.

By the end of the scene, none of them completely turn on Eren yet, but they're also not completely on his side. Again, just the appropriate amount of nuance in my eyes when considering everyone's relationships with Eren and what he did.

The Ackerbond idea being a lie is supported by them rebelling against the king, but also by the fact that Mikasa is doubting Eren at all - she tries to reason it being real because she is supporting him at all, but that's also just as easily all her own feelings and the bond they actually ended up developing.

Eren possibly going along with Zeke and Yelena just for the sake of another goal of his own says that Historia didn't have to go along with Kiyomi's plan, either.

As of this chapter, I actually stand most by the two possible ideas that Eren might either intend to wake the Wall Titans either as just a threat to scare the rest of the world or, looking at the scene Armin thinks of, he might wake the Wall Titans for destruction, but as of now I'm at least pretty confident he at least has his own thing going:

As for the second point, Gabi finally sees the world in a more complex manner than just the black and white "Eldians are bad and Marleyans are good" mentality because of her interactions with the Braus family and Kaya:

Her moment of character development happens after she hears Kaya talking about her in such a hateful and hurt manner.

That moment happens because she saw her kindness and came to see her as a person like any other.

She got the chance Marley doesn't give it's people: she got to see another perspective beyond the black and white one she developed because of Marley.

It's Eren's and Reiner's arc across a much shorter timespan, but I can accept it because Eren and Reiner didn't get the chance to see another perspective for a much longer time and because they had far longer-lasting baggage on them before their worldview was challenged.

Gabi's situation is much lighter: despite still being a warrior candidate, she is simply challenged before any of her life experiences have a chance to truly sink in and shape her - she just lost her friends, as well, but unlike her, Reiner and Eren got to stew in everything they went through for a while.

Falco was introduced as being fairly insecure, but the circumstances of him getting time together with Gabi, getting the chance to constantly take action and the possiblity of him turning into a Titan brought out his bravery to confess to her and be honest with Gabi.

In the face of having their worldview challenged, both turn into better and stronger people.

As for some of the side stuff, I appreciated the moment with Nile especially since it rounded out his character even more.

He's such an interesting case to me because of the dislike he gets (particularly he got at first), when he's always been pretty reasonable and understandable to me.

People simply seemed to dislike him at first because he was an antagonist to the SL, without ever even looking at what he was actually saying. It's an interesting "us vs. them" case and an interesting example of the expectations people have for the roles characters play in a story and how that affects the read of a story.

The force opposing the perspective we follow must be completely evil, right?

Nile is sort of an example of the story's themes showing up on the meta level of the story and I've always thought that’s neat.

I also thought Yelena was extremely entertaining. We haven’t had this type of larger-than-life antagonist since Kenny and she’s a lady character that’s allowed to be batshit without making her a wierd fanservice character or a completely incompetent idiot that’s just insane.

Overall, though, I thought this chapter just had really solid character writing and I enjoyed it for that.

[thebluelemontree]

Hi, this is lyastark (i changed blogs), you responded to my ask here: /post/175700394682/. i wanted to say that i loved your meta! i was thinking more of their relationship in the purpose of the story. for me, no one knowing about this interaction has to serve some plot purpose. b/c of this, i think that sandor is going to be the one to tell her about LF shitty behavior towards her. her relationship with him is the ONLY one that LF doesn't know about. we know he doesn't b/c he NEVER mentions (1)

sandor to sansa. he was quick to dismiss tyrion, loras, wilas, margaery, etc but he said nothing about sandor. i also believe that sansa has gotten to the point where there’s no one “new” she has met that she would 100% trust with something this big. sandor is someone she explicitly trusts not to lie to her, and is someone she associates with safety and her old life. he’s her hidden dagger, if you will

Hey, glad you liked it.  

Yeah, I’m in agreement that Sandor will be crucial to Sansa reclaiming her identity in a few ways, and it will pay off that their relationship has flown under the radar for all this time.  While Jeyne Poole is also an alternate possibility or an addition to that, I think Jeyne is on course to meet with (perhaps travel with) Arya first.  It may take all of TWOW, maybe to the beginning to ADOS, for Arya and Sansa to reconnect.  One thing I’m reasonably sure of is that things will start happening pretty quickly in TWOW for wrapping up Sansa’s training arc.  With only two books left, it’s time to start moving all the remaining characters into the final act.  

I’m just going to put the rest under the cut.  This isn’t so much a coherent meta, but me just riffing because I have a lot of feelings about this topic XD

Littlefinger was only a mask he had to wear. Only sometimes Sansa found it hard to tell where the man ended and the mask began. Littlefinger and Lord Petyr looked so very much alike. She would have fled them both, perhaps, but there was nowhere for her to go. Winterfell was burned and desolate, Bran and Rickon dead and cold. Robb had been betrayed and murdered at the Twins, along with their lady mother. Tyrion had been put to death for killing Joffrey, and if she ever returned to King’s Landing the queen would have her head as well. The aunt she’d hoped would keep her safe had tried to murder her instead. Her uncle Edmure was a captive of the Freys, while her great-uncle the Blackfish was under siege at Riverrun. I have no place but here, Sansa thought miserably, and no true friend but Petyr. – Sansa I, AFFC.  

“She would have fled them both…” if she had another option available to her.  If she had another friend nearby, but in her mind, she doesn’t.   

For Sansa’s training arc to end, her sense of isolation and dependence on Littlefinger have to be overpowered.  It is a psychological obstacle as much as it is a physical one.  Sansa has seen Littlefinger literally get away with murder and come out in a stronger position than he was before.  He seems to always be a step ahead of his enemies.  He has already bribed and extorted his way to power among the Vale lords.  He’s iced Yohn Royce out of political influence.  He’s planted seeds of doubt in Sansa toward Myranda Royce before she even met her.  (On a side note, Myranda does know Sansa’s real identity, but has never confronted her about it and nor has she used that information against her).  So LF’s locked down all the potential allies or troublemakers that he can see.  But we know there are things he can’t see, like the possibility of Sansa winning Lothor Brune’s loyalty from him.  Nor does he seem to be aware of Lyn Corbray’s seething resentment over being ousted as his brother’s heir thanks to Littlefinger’s marriage brokering.  Not to mention he’s hired a bunch of hedge knights for his household guard not suspecting for a moment that they are there to steal Sansa from him.  Littlefinger’s hubris has made him blind to things that are right in his own backyard.          

While I’m 95% sure Sandor will be at the center of Sansa reclaiming her identity, I definitely don’t think he will be her only trusted ally or source of support before it’s over.  That comes from Sansa herself in doing what she does best:  being kind and empathetic to win people over.  I see her cultivating her own little band of helpers to escape rather than (as some speculations suggest) Sansa simply name-dropping at the tourney and all the Vale lords instantly pledging their swords to her as their new regent/leader/whatever.  That makes for a dramatic turn of events but is also pretty unrealistic as I see it.  I think she will eventually be in a position to receive Yohn Royce’s military support, but I strongly disagree that it’s going to be as easy as name-dropping.  Littlefinger has too much backing of his leadership right now.  The Vale lords at the tourney are already on board that gravy train of gifts, gold, and glory.  He has custody of Robert Arryn.  No one really gives a shit about Lysa’s murder and everyone is looking toward the future with the more robust young falcon, Harrold Hardyng.  IMO, Sansa needs to get with Yohn Royce before the rest of the Vale falls in line.  He’s against the ropes right now (and being kept far from the tourney for a good reason I think), but he is the one that is most likely to wrest back political power from Littlefinger once Sansa is no longer his pawn.  Then she would have powerful backing of her own.  The trick is getting her to Yohn Royce and for that, she needs a persuasive reason and the confidence to flee from LF.                      

Where Sansa is in the story right now, I think she already possesses most of the individual puzzle pieces to what Littlefinger has done.  She just hasn’t been able to bring herself to put all those pieces together into one complete, horrifying picture.  There’s a lot of trauma and suppression of painful thoughts wrapped up in the things she’s seen and experienced.  Things part of being Sansa Stark that will shatter the tenuous safety she finds in being Alayne Stone.  She knows on one level that Littlefinger did something with Jeyne.  She’s buried that memory and thinks about Jeyne only in more innocent times.  She hasn’t dared to ask probably for fear of the answer and for fear of the repercussions from asking.  And there’s the fact that she’s trapped with her abuser, who has muddled help and safety with exploitation and pushing her moral boundaries.  She’s under a lot of pressure to marry HtH, which has been framed as her best and only chance to go home, even if it comes at Robert Arryn’s expense.  All she has to do is let go of her empathy and see people as objects she can use to further her interests, and then she can not only feel safe but powerful and untouchable as well.  No one will ever hurt her again.  Littlefinger’s philosophy is terrifying, but there are parts of it that are very seductive to someone who has been made to feel powerless, stupid, and vulnerable.  In a way, Sansa is being tempted with adopting a cynical worldview similar to what the Hound was for Sandor. Narratively speaking, what better person to bring her back from the edge of losing her humanity than by the person she inspired to reclaim his own?  Sandor and Sansa have been saving each other all throughout their story.  The first moment they met was defined by Sansa looking Ilyn Payne, the persona of death, in the face and falling backward into Sandor’s hands (ugh, my heart!).  Many times he just seems to appear out of nowhere to catch her.  So yeah, Sandor as a “hidden dagger” works really well not only for literally saving her life, but saving Sansa Stark’s identity and her core values.  But that also comes with unpacking a lot of unpleasant things.                   

The missing piece of the puzzle and the one thing that will be the final straw should be learning that her father’s arrest and execution was orchestrated by Littlefinger.  Sandor was a present for all that.  He’s the best person to tell her, and yes, she would believe him.  That forces Sansa to start looking at all puzzle pieces she has avoided putting together.  Turning against LF will not just be a triumphant moment, but it’s probably going to be ugly and painful.  Sansa has a lot of suppressed guilt and shame over what LF has made her complicit in.  While she was never a willing participant and shifting responsibility on to her was a key feature of LF’s abuse strategy, Sansa has played a role to some degree in the cover-ups of LF’s crimes.  Some people think the unkiss is a symptom of PTSD.  Nope.  This situation right here puts Sansa at risk for PTSD.  It will be shattering to know she ever called Petyr a friend, trusted him, and sometimes helped him while he did awful things.  There’s your dark night of the soul that a few people reasonably predict for each of our major POVs in TWOW, especially if an innocent like Robert Arryn dies (I’m 50/50 on that).  She’ll need someone who can relate (think of Sandor’s dying anguished confessions of his sins), someone who won’t judge, and someone that can help guide her back to being Sansa Stark because right now, that identity comes with a lot of traumatic baggage.  Just as being Sandor Clegane did.  (UGH, MY HEART!) 

I could go on about how similar both Petyr and Sandor’s backgrounds and origins are, how cynism plays into their world views, and the divergent paths they took.  They don’t have to speak of each other or share a scene together, but they have always been opposing philosophical forces with Sansa between them.  One embodying sweet lies and the other blunt honesty.  But I think the most telling passage about these three is in Eddard VII:

Sansa said, "I knew the Hound would win."

Littlefinger overheard. "If you know who's going to win the second match, speak up now before Lord Renly plucks me clean," he called to her. Ned smiled.

Littlefinger bet against Sandor and lost.  Daddy approved. 

[boardbysara]

The Perfect Reason For A Breakup

He was dead set against having a long-term relationship with me from the get-go - I could tell. It was obvious. He basically - like any man - said it directly without saying it directly at all.

I pestered him about it for the entire six months we were seeing each other. At the end of our time together, though he said he loved me and would miss me... he still said directly, without saying it directly, that we wouldn't be together even if our circumstances righted themselves.

Of course I felt rejected. And of course, like any woman would, I agonizingly over-analyzed every single possible reason for his rejection.

There's the fact that I made the classic mistakes that usually make men run... but his love for me increased over those six months, so that doesn't really pan out.

There's the fact that we are both passionate about our faith practices which differ enough that neither would really convert to the other person's. But he was ready to commit to his previous lady who also didn't share his faith, so this reason also doesn't pan out.

There's the assumption that I'm just not pretty enough. I was, as admitted by him, not his usual M.O. when it comes to physical appearance. He usually goes for shorter, chubbier girls. I am 5'6'' and skinny. He literally called me "a skinny." I was his "first" skinny. But he repeatedly and earnestly told me that I am beautiful and sexy in ways a man had never done before, and the man could not keep his hands off me. So that doesn't really pan out.

There's the fact that we do not share the same ethnicity and therefore the same culture. He's very passionate about his culture. I love his culture too! That's why I date guys from it! But of course that's not the same as me being from within it (but gosh how much I wish I was. I swear I was Latina in my past life!!) Except his previous lady wasn't either. So again, it doesn't pan out.

It only leaves one thing left, and while I was praying last night, I felt like God confirmed it:

It's the fact that I'm white collar (and he's blue.)

We never had a conversation about it, but he made comments. I could tell that he has some strong feelings about it.

It did make for some gaps in our emotional connection. I'm a writer. I blog. I self-published a book. I have plans to publish more. He would always make comments about how he "doesn't read." (Not technically true, he is literate, but he doesn't read for enjoyment.) He joked that was why he wouldn't be able to read my books. Ummmm. I definitely need to be with somebody who will read all of my books (front to back)! I want someone I can read books WITH and discuss them together.

There were differences in our perspectives and knowledge that I felt were glaring sometimes and were obviously rooted in a difference in education and exposure.

I knew if I'd taken him home to meet my family there would be some awkwardness... or at least a bit of a barrier to him being able to bond with my family simply because the conversation would be about things he didn't know about or take an interest in.

I could sense the effects of that cultural gap, but I would never judge him for that. I would never write him off as a long-term partner for any of that - for being blue-collar.

I get the sense he does though. He wrote me off. He'd written me off before he'd given me a chance and then he grew to love me in spite of it but it didn't erase the effects of it. Not enough for him, I guess.

His previous lady was blue, too. And the one before that.

And as I'm writing this, it makes me sad, but knowing this also brought me peace.

I REALIZED THAT IF YOU ARE GOING TO REJECT SOMEONE, THIS REASON MEETS THE CRITERIA OF THE PERFECT REASON.

It's not about the subject matter - it's not about the blue collar/white collar reason. It's about the parameters of the reason.

Think about it!

I can't change it - so I don't need to freak out and stress and try to change it.

I'm not inferior because of it. I have absolutely nothing to feel bad about!

I can't be mad at him for it! I mean, I'm sure lots of other people would be mad - I'm sure lots of people reading this are finding fault with him for it. But I can't. Because being with someone who is from the same culture (even if that culture is based around which working/educational class you fall in) is one of those things that makes you feel more at home with a person - makes you feel like you have things in common, like they understand you. And I understand wanting someone you feel at home with - I do too! And I could feel the gap in that between us at times too.

I can't be jealous of another woman for being the opposite of me in this. (Because being jealous of someone for NOT having a college education is illogical. It just doesn't happen.) His next lady might be shorter than me (I've always wanted to be shorter than I am), she might be what I would consider prettier, she might be Latina, she might partake in his faith, and I might feel a tinge of jealousy for all those reasons because they eliminate barriers to being with him (and he is a great man.) But they're not the reasons that I'M not with him. There is ONE reason why I'm not with him - according to all the possible reasons why he could have been against a long-term relationship from the get-go - and it's not one that I can possibly be jealous of.

All of which means I can't really be jealous or mad about his future relationships.

All of which means we actually have a much higher chance of maintaining a genuine friendship. (Except now I don't want that.)

That list, ladies and gents, makes up the criteria for the perfect rejection of a person/relationship. Something you can't change, that isn't a flaw, that you can't feel inferior for, or jealous of, or angry about - and allows the preservation of a friendship if you want it.

I can't lie and say that I don't want someone who fills in the gaps that we both felt - I do! The difference between him and me is that I don't see being blue-collar as a deal-breaker. I think someone who is blue-collar could still fill in those gaps (of me needing more intellectual stimulation) as long as he was a reader.

You don't need to go to college to be smart and get a great job... but in order to have real knowledge and a broader worldview, you do need to read books. This is proven in myriad stories of some of our world's most successful entrepreneurs. So a degree isn't a requirement for me - but books are.

I didn't see his blue-collar status as being an impediment to our relationship, but he does. And I can't force the man to read books.

But I can rest easy knowing that his rejection was one that cuts out all the angst and drama.

FAQs:

If he knew he wasn't going to have a long-term relationship with you from the get-go but proceeded to hook up with you anyway, doesn't that make him a douschebag? Yes. Yes, it does. But he has acknowledged it, apologized, and embarked on the road to change. I.E., is no longer taking advantage of me and my feelings and is working on no longer being a douschebag, in his own way.

If you could tell he was dead-set against it from the get-go, why did YOU keep hooking up with him? Because I naively thought I could change his mind. This is a very common mistake women make. The answer is no - you will never change his mind, no matter what his reason. It just so happened that his reason was something I very truly cannot change. I learned A LOT from this short-lived relationship that will definitely be covered in future posts.

[oumakokichi]

What are your thoughts on Saiouma as a ship? I don't particularly like it because Ouma has to suffer with an unrequited love for a detective who doesn't come around to his way of thinking before he d i e s and also thought of him as a villain goddamn it saihara

Haha, I’m actually a pretty avid saiouma shipper—it’s myfavorite ship of any DR game, really. It’s one of those things where I canunderstand why it didn’t work out because of the problems that arise in canon,but I can’t help being particularly invested in all the potential it could havehad under different circumstances.

Saihara’s lack of understanding can be frustrating,certainly, but it’s also something that’s necessary from a plot perspective.Kodaka so obviously wanted to craft Ouma into a “catbox” character, someonewhose intentions and motivations were kept secret to the end, in order to giveplayers a reason to go back and replay the game and try to pick up hints theymight not have noticed before.

Ouma himself wanted to remain an enigma to the very end. It’snot entirely Saihara’s fault that he couldn’t crack the “mystey” that Ouma was,when Ouma himself was making it so intentionally difficult for him.

Not only that but I think I’m used to just a whole differentlevel of frustratingly incompetent and dense protagonists thanks to Umineko.Umineko is a very similar work tondrv3; both are extremely meta, both deal with the issue of finding a middleground between “gentle lies” and “painful truths,” and both feature a centralcharacter who sets themselves up to be the “evil villain” despite actually havinggood intentions at heart.

But Umineko’s protagonist, Battler, is so… so much morefrustrating to deal with than Saihara. In my opinion, anyway. There’s also sortof an issue I have with Battler’s character being written super inconsistentlyacross 8 different episodes, where Saihara doesn’t suffer from that same issuesince he’s only in the one game.

Like Battler’s struggle to understand Beato and her game,Saihara doesn’t quite realize what Ouma was really like or what he was tryingto tell him about “lies” and “fiction” until it’s far too late—but unlikeBattler, there’s a whole lot less trading of insults and berating Ouma onSaihara’s end. Saihara does genuinely try to be patient with Ouma, up untilChapter 4. Saihara’s patience reaches its end there; in my opinion, he’s completely in the right for putting hisfoot down.

Ouma crossed a line with his behavior, and was pushing waytoo hard to try and make Saihara ally with him. It’s a fact that Saihara couldn’tafford to trust everyone blindly, that his job as the detective required him todoubt and suspect people. But it’s also a fact that Ouma was at the extreme endof paranoia, moreso in Chapter 4 after his tentative attempt at forging analliance was crushed so thoroughly by Miu’s attempt to kill him. Ouma was acynic and was absolutely ruthless in his attempt to teach the group that the “truth”they all wanted so badly was a horrible, awful thing. Saihara not standing forthat kind of behavior and telling Ouma off for it at the end of the chapter 4trial is well-deserved, because Ouma neededthat wake-up call.

It is, of course, more frustrating after that point thatSaihara doesn’t really spend a lot of time dwelling on Ouma or the things hesaid to him in Chapter 4 after they more than find enough evidence to provethat Ouma was never actually evil—that he, in fact, was the person mostresponsible for keeping them all alive and that he sacrificed himself for theirsakes when he didn’t have to.

But again, I attribute that to Kodaka’s attempt to keep Ouma’s“catbox” intact; if Saihara had gone pondering Ouma’s character too much andrevealed everything about him by Chapter 6, there’d be almost no incentive forthe player to go back and replay the game themselves to figure things out.Ndrv3 is a game that challenges its players to think, speculate, and theorizeas much as they can. While I don’t doubt Kodaka will probably hand out ananswer sheet of sorts in the future to the questions we have now, it’s clearthat he wants us all to stew on things for the time being. And that’d beimpossible with our detective spilling the beans and handing the answer out ona silver platter.

I’m satisfied that at the very end, I think Saihara reallydid, truly understand Ouma as a person. The answer he reaches, about how there’sno “correct answer” between truth and lies, about how lies can be used to helpand comfort people in the same way that the truth can be used to hurt people,is exactly what Ouma wanted them all to realize so much. Lies were Ouma’s ownsource of comfort, something he had to rely on because he couldn’t trust almostanything about himself or take anything at all for a fact.

Saihara failed to grasp that worldview at first, because hisentire character is one concerned with pursuing the truth. A detective’s rolein any mystery, ever, is to expose the truth in its entirety. But this isexactly what causes Saihara so much fear and hesitation. He has a naturalcuriosity and a genuine, honest-to-god talent for finding the truth. But healso wants to bury his head in the sand until everything goes away. He doesn’twant to be responsible for exposing people’s secrets, but he also doesn’tbelieve that lying is the answer either—until the end when he realizes theequal value that both lies and truths hold. His character development isextremely tied to the lessons Ouma teaches him, both in the main plot and inhis FTEs.

I really love saiouma as a ship because I feel like thepotential for a deeper understanding and acceptance of one another was alwaysthere—it’s just not something permitted by the main plot. Between the fact thatOuma was deeply paranoid and distrustful thanks to the killing game, and thefact that Saihara was far too hesitant and weak to come to a full understandingof things until much later, there were too many factors preventing Ouma fromever really genuinely reaching out, or letting himself be reached out to.

But that’s exactly why his prison mode ending is sosatisfying. Without the killing ever actually starting up, Ouma’s paranoiasubsides noticeably. He’s still cautious, still inclined to doubt and distrust—buthe’s not nearly as unshakable in his cynicism. He doesn’t know any of them, butsince no one actually becomes a murderer, he’s okay with letting his guarddown, even if it’s just slightly.

When Saihara expresses genuine interest in “getting to knowthe real him” by his final prison mode event, Ouma actually allows him to reach out, and says thathe wants Saihara to “stay by his side” even after they leave the school. And Saiharathinks to himself that even if Ouma still needs to rely on lies, because that’sthe kind of person he is, he’s sure that Ouma “can’t lie about the warmth ofhis hand.” He has a whole inner monologue about wanting to hold Ouma’s hand sothat he won’t need to lie as much, basically.

And it’s really sweet and genuinely touching. There is somuch hand imagery between the two of them, so much talk about reaching out andbeing reached out to. In the main plot of ndrv3, reaching out was animpossibility, but it could work so well under other, better circumstances, inmy opinion anyway.

Anyway, this is all just my take on it. Saiouma might not beeveryone’s preference as a ship, but it’s still one of my favorites personally!Reading Umineko and seeing Beato’s love for Battler constantly hinted andalluded to long before it was actually revealed in later episodes reminded mequite a lot of the ways in which Ouma acts around Saihara before dropping theconfession reveal in Chapter 4, so that probably contributed quite a bit to myenjoyment of it. I’d still highly recommend reading Umineko to anyone whoenjoyed ndrv3, actually.

Ouma’s feelings for Saihara are an important part of hischaracter as a whole, contributing both to his motivations to help him grow anddevelop as a person, as well as his frustration, both at Saihara’s failure tounderstand his hints all the time and at himself for letting his emotions getin the way of his logic. It’s okay if people do or don’t want to interpretSaihara as potentially reciprocating those emotions under other circumstances—Ijust find their dynamic incredibly interesting, and the potential forimprovement and growth on both sides is something I really like in my ships.

Thank you for asking, anon!