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sastrugie · 4 years ago

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my christmas break starts this friday as well! what’s up with your coworker? have her test results come back? is she doing okay?

alright, so my fav topics include:

- the russian revolution, as already stated :D

- the cold war (mostly from the east european point of view)

- the tudors

- victorian era england

i also really love peaky blinders (the show) and i occasionally enjoy reading about how different gangs operated back in those days but i don’t know much lmao

also, monarchy is just such a terrible system but i completely get your interest in the people! for example, i also adore reading and learning about the tudors and the romanovs but only as a part of history and not because i’m such a big fan of the monarchy? lmao if that makes sense.

and like, i lowkey get why the bolsheviks thought they needed to assassinate the whole family but it’s also really sketchy, dude ://

i think i like britain’s history just because it’s so rich and influential, but like we simply can’t ignore the fucked up shit they’ve done through the centuries. so again, i enjoy it but mostly because i love judging them for their actions lmao

and to answer your question, i don’t really know if i have many historical favs? i feel like i enjoy way too many problematic people lmao. nevertheless, the ones i’m most interested in atm are: lenin (shockers), anne boleyn, anne bonny, malcolm x - this list shifts constantly depending on my mood though.

oh shush you, i’m sure your style is bombing based on everything i just read :)

lmao i actually do that sometimes, but mostly in my mother tongue! but i also just love shakespearean insults in english, those are impeccable

and merci beaucoup! good luck with russian; maybe you’ll be able teach me a few phrases in the future :D

ooh what are you studying atm? if you don’t mind sharing, that is.

and me, i’d like to become a psychologist some day, so that’s pretty far from history as well haha but i never want the enthusiasm to die ever and i’m really loving how the two of us can just scream to each other about history in every single ask/answer :D

thank you so much for these beautiful recommendations, i’ll definitely check them out!!

here are some of mine:

books:

- maria stuart by stefan zweig (german author, so it shouldn’t be too hard for you to find it!!)

- red crosses by sasha filipenko (fiction about the stalinist regime)

- the age of light by whitney scharer (historical fiction again lmao; tells the story of photographers lee miller and man ray’s romance in the 30s with little snippets into wwii through lee’s pov; the writing was stunning)

- sapiens by yuval noah harari (basically the history of mankind; so informative and enjoyable, i adored it)

- the real peaky blinders by carl chinn (what the title says, really; the actual gangs of birmingham and their not so shiny careers)

these are the best ones i read in 2020 but i’ll let you know if i remember any of my other reads!!

i also haven’t read any actual books about the 1917 revolution because i haven’t really had the chance to go to the library yet and i’ve been busy doing my research on the internet haha (it’s a fairly new hyperfixation of mine, to be frank). however, i’ll hit you up if i find anything worthwhile <3

documentaries:

- the russian revolution (the title speaks for itself lmao)

- genius of the modern world (3-part docuseries about marx, nietzsche and freud)

- world war ii in colour (lmao just a classic, innit)

- secrets of great british castles

- the last tzars (tho i’m pretty sure you’re quite familiar with this one haha)

- forbidden history

- secrets of the six wives

- anything by lucy worsley, tbh

these are all off the top of my head but again, i’ll let you know if i remember any more!!

oml i apologise for the long message and i hope your week is going well :D

dont apologize for long messages! <3 im always happy to talk to you

sadly her test was positive UGH which means i have to get myself tested too (today) and if the worst case happens: i´ll have to spend christmas alone in my student flat bc then i obviously cant go home to my family (my grandparents live there..) so yeah, today 14:20 o clock... i have the test :( cross your fingers for me pls huhuhu

thats cool that we have the russian revolution and vicxtorian era as common interest ^^ i read a book recently its called “the ordeal” and its a triology written by alexej tolstoi during the times of the revolution. its a story about two sister and their love interests during the war times and its really good!!!

oh i barely know anything about the tudors! pls hmu

ah yes.. the cold war... i have to admit im rather interested in the music and sociology of the cold war times but the political stuff is super interesting too! esp as you said from an east european view, so we can talk about that too!

yep. monarchy sucks! i understanbd from like a logical point of view why they shot them all, but the human side of me thinks its just cruel.. i mean yeah tsar nicholas wasnt a good politician but he wasnt a bad person either. but yeah, a difficult topic.. tbh he´s the only romanov im really interested in (i really dislike his wife alexandra tho lmao) hbu?

leninnn :D i kinda excpected that! i havent really read much about him but he seems to be an interesting person! and who is anne boyd? malcom X yes! im really interested into the civil rights movement as well. I really like martin luther king jr.

englands history really fascinates me, and i honestly cant tell you why... but it is what is is hahhaa! nand duuudeeee omg they fucked so many shit up.. the british are a funny nation. but honestly none is unproblematic and every nation screwed up big time once:D judging is really important when youre intereste din history! like im interested in king george and queen mary but not solely for political reasons, more actually for their personal lives and victorian times and how they were as a couple, but i know... they did bad stuff too!

omg teach me some shakespearean insults pls! i only know a few victorian ones! and a bit of sixties slang :D

im gonna reblog this and add some russian phrases bc my russian keyboard in on my phone :) but i use duolingo so the sentences are ... really weird lmao

im studying physical geography in Erlangen right now and am in my 7th semester.) im actually writing my bachelor thesis rn UGHHHHHHH

ohhhhh psychology is cool!! im really intersted in it, sadly i cant ever be one bc i suffer from poor mental health too much myself, in fact i have an appointment my therapist in a few minutes haha BUT i think youre super trustworthy and nice and easy to talk to so these are really good qualities for a therapist <3<3<3<3

AHHHHHHHHHHH THANKS!!

i already read sapiens! its so good! and i know maria stuart by schiller haha but oml i love stefan zweig so imma add it on my list

ok and i will watch ALL of these (except the last tsars bc yeah i already saw it! and liked it ... kinda .. i didnt like the actor they chose for nicky, he didnt remind me of him at all)

i have alot of historical fiction books to recomment too:

if you like ww2 “a time to live and a time to die”

ww1: “all quiet on the western front”

russian revolution and war time “the ordeal”

“intrige” by robert harris is also good (france 1896)

oh and documentary wise:

they shall not grow old is a coloured ww1 docu!

thank you so much for everything again i love talking to you :) have a nice day <3 (sorry for typos i was in a hurry)

#r #anon #secret santa #nice ppl

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thegeminisage · 5 years ago

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alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever

because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE

but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale

but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly

speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it

okay commence the liveblog:

love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe

it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly

EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful

although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF

lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG

like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it

love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”

i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season

ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen

if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade

in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......

we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.

i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole

“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it

I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly

my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle

merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too

“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t

love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad

up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP

for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”

for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK

ARE

BLESSED

i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD

repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF

was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey

uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too)

i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL

“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was

and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.

you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.

“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”

you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther

i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)

but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck

between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now

and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE

and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2

ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT

me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc

actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth

percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell

there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it

absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good

can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur

the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow

there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”

and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH

if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that

i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend

multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy

“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL

merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine

love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD

do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync

here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.

you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable

until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO

we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.

leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,

love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship

i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left

arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together

merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud

honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it

splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??

love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP

uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.

seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O

just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat

“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither

speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks

i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit

also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening

AND NOW IT’S TIME

FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE

when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER

HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING!

“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment

AND HE DID THAT

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.

how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that

to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences

i can’t even like

like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror

i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther

it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)

he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it

and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying

merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first

i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment

THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE

okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?

arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?

IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY

my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him

i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too

tbh. i wish he had.

i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden

i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......

uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing

and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both

i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME

i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING

i’m not talking about the glove thing

i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face

and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was

#personal #merlin blogging #it took me three and a half hours to rewatch this episode because i kept pausing to scream #MERLIN DESERVES TO BE OUT TO EVERYONE ALL THE TIME it's not FAIR #that episode deserved to be 20 minutes longer it ended too soon #in a happier world arthur found out about the magic and immediately took merlin's side and defended him against the genocidal maniac but app #apparently this show is a greek tragedy now

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mcjour · 4 years ago

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i have therapy tomorrow (today) and thinking about the fight i had with my mom this week. i had some good insight earlier in the week closer to when it happened but i didn’t write it down so oops. hopefully i can get it back lol.

my mom was complaining about heartburn and back pain and then extends her arm to me and is like touch me, i want your youth. or something of the sort. i hate when she does that. sometimes she extends her arm out to me and i can always tell when she does it that she is in one of her moods. and i say no. because i dont want to lol.

beyond that, i find even the thought of casually “touching” my mom absolutely repulsive. i hate touching any and everyone, but her especially is like disgusting to me. idk the exact reason why but given my traumatic childhood it is truly unsurpsring

anyway so like i said, i was like no. but shes like yeah yeah just a fingertip touch and im like no. and so she actually gets up off the couch and starts coming towards me. and im still like hell no and im like “do not touch me!!” and im backing my chair up and its really a shame i didnt back it up a little further and break her lamp LOL. anyway she pokes me.

and she sits back down and i am rightfully pissed so im like ??? Why cant you respect that i dont want to be touched????????? and tbh i dont remember the exact conversation but it was defensive?? anyway i do remember it ended kinda meanly haha. she was saying she wasnt thinking and i was like yeah you never think about my feelings do you? and shes like wah you dont think of mine either and stormed off as always. anyway she went out to smoke and i finished eating my spaghetti and cleaned up after myself and went upstairs.

i was annoyed and mad but figured that was the end of that. but no, then she started texting me!! in whatever state of mind that was.

it was wild cuz she wouldnt take any responsibility?? literally blaming me for her having touched me?? and like being all defensive and saying i was mean to her. idk. like. a normal person would be like omg sorry i shouldnt have done that. still wouldve sucked but like a normal ass apology. instead of whatever the fuck that was

ok my analysis

- lmao she said i attacked her??? the fuck

- i havent done anything

- reminds me of other situations like when my stepmom was trying to force me to hug my grandmother lmao

- she projects bs on me. do i punish you relentlessly or does the image of me you have in mu hrsf fo yhsy?

- literally no respect for boundaries - and trying to make me feel bad for having those boundaries. those are like probbaly the only boundaries i have too lmaooo

my brother said i did a good job

its also hard cuz like she is clearly like dissociated or whatever but that doesnt mean shti!!!! and then that night i had like horrible nightmares, wodner why

andthe next day stressing because you dont know, is she going to forget (yes), or try to talk about it, or is she still mad, or what

and like each of those has pros and ocns

0 notes

transfagged · 7 years ago

Note

all 92 😘

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no way man she’d probably dom the fuck out of me

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?nope.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?n o p e

4. Is trust a big issue for you?YEAH

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?like in terms of romantic??? no. like in terms of “we have a really weird relationship and idfk how i feel @ you”? yeah.

6. What are you excited for?april 19th!!! my friend and i are going to go see phoebe bridgers in madison!!!!

7. What happened tonight?its 10am so ill roll with last night: i played nv and got killed in a beautiful cacophony of deathclaws and the legion :) and then my game crashed.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?no bc id be right there with them

9. Is confidence cute?very

10. What is the last beverage you had?i think some water? okay not the last but: hot water is so good with wildflower honey pls just drink some its good for your soul okay???

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?opposite is bullshit but i guess like,, 3? half my friends are nonbinary so counting EVERYONE regardless of gender and shit id say 6 people

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?im a proud supporter of boys in skinny jeans and i own 2 or 3 pairs

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?my main ho @thebonerfoy is coming up to visit me and were probably gonna pack all my shit in her car and play cards against humanity

14. What are you going to spend money on next? lmao probably my student loans. unless i can get the hours i asked for at work or a sugar daddy, then im gonna buy a proper lid for my fishtank bc my poor kid has a piece of cardboard rn.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?yeah. even in a state of stagnation were changing somehow.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?probably amanda, but im working on trying to be better with everyone

18. The last time you felt broken?my dude, im broken right now. its okay though. like i said, im working on it. were all fckn broken somehow.

19. Have you had sex today?not unless a ghost and i got in on in my sleep. which would be pretty cool ngl

20. Are you starting to realize anything?on a deep level: i deserve respect and a lot of my issues relate directly to my upbringing, including my inability to receive praise or speak well of myselfon a not-deep level: kinda hungry.

21. Are you in a good mood?i think i just heard fedex or ups outside so my mood just skyrocketed

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?maybe like. nurse sharks. theyre really cute.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?yeah

24. What do you want right this second?to take a day to go into the city with all my friends that i cant see on a regular basis

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?probably be upset unless we discussed it beforehand. then id be fckn cheering for them like you go get some!!!! do it man!!!! in general tho: if i wasnt with them and they didnt show interest in me and showed interest in someone else id just move tf on.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?half of it is bc my roots are growing out

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?no. too boring.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?okay so i went to renew my library books and one of my favorite youtubers is on the library website dressed as one of his characters and i completely flipped because i watch his gaming channel and now hes interviewing authors for my library??? he doesnt even live in my town!! hes in madison!!

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?no? im enjoying my solitude atm

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?depends on the person

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?no! hes my friend and gives really good advice!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?i think so. i mean, were kind of a thing.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?yeah.

34. Listening to?killer - phoebe bridgers

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?only if im doing a rough journal spread, which i dont normally do

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?hes probably in class right now.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?love at first sight? no. some sort of mutual infatuation/attraction? yes.

38. Who did you last call?my mom

39. Who was the last person you danced with?dancing with as in both dancing at the same time? probably amanda or my mom.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?we were dating and he was cute lmao

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a couple months ago?

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?no bc she leaves for work before i wake up

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?constantly.

44. Do you tan in the nude?lmao no.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?no. as previously stated, i liked the guy and he was cute. why would i take that back?

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?yeah

47. Who was the last person to call you?my mom

48. Do you sing in the shower?sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?yEAH

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?yes i love my bow :’) its so good and wow i love archery

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?picture day junior year of highschool, and if that doesnt count: my mother took me in at jcp to have pictures taken when i graduated 8th grade and theyre awful bc my hair is so long and its so not me

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?excuse me, how dare you,, in this house we ask for war and peace for christmas because npgc1812 is so good and then get addicted to ghost quartet (@ anyone reading this: pls listen to ghost quartet it is so so so good)

53. Is Christmas stressful?depends on the year, but i hope in the future i can spend it with my friends :)

54. Ever eat a pierogi?i just had some last night for dinner and im probably going to eat the leftovers in a couple minutes. also, my mother is polish and we see her family for holidays, so yeah. lots of pierogi in this house.

update: i got the leftovers

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?idk??? apple? im basic okay i dont eat pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?1. teacher2. ballerina3. both 1 & 2, simultaneously4. paleontologist5. archaeologist6. both 4 & 5, simultaneously7. librarian8. game designer9. author/illustrator

57. Do you believe in ghosts?yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?almost daily

59. Take a vitamin daily?im supposed to ;) vitamin d deficiency like a real champ

60. Wear slippers?real talk i never liked slippers but then i bought these cute pig slippers @ walmart for $10 and i love them so much i tried wearing them to sleep last night. also im wearing them rn theyre so cute

61. Wear a bath robe?i live in a dorm, so yeah. to the bathroom and back when i take a shower. sometimes im lazy and i just run around in a towel but so do half the people on my side of the hall lmao were all lazy and dead inside

62. What do you wear to bed?fluffy pajama pants or sweats, tshirt or hoodie, socks, sometimes slippers.. once i fell asleep with a beanie on. when im being an Adult i wear my actual pajamas!!! like a legit shirt and pants that match

63. First concert?none that i was old enough to remember :’) apparently my mom took me to the rodeo when we lived in texas and saw some country group but i was like 2 so idfk

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?TARGET I AM A CERTIFIED TARGET GAY

65. Nike or Adidas?adidas bc my feet are too wide to fit in nikes

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?yall real talk i used to love cheetos but i think im allergic to them now? last time i had them my throat got all swollen and hurt for like 3 days so im gonna have to say fritos. plus theyre really good if you put them in chili

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?sunflower seeds bc im a slut for anything i can have a spitting contest with

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?lmao i used to like her when i was like. 11. not my scene anymore

69. Ever take dance lessons?i dont think so?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?anything that makes them happy, but also something fun!!!! like wedding photographer or a baker or maybe zookeeper?

71. Can you curl your tongue?idk??? kinda????? i can tie a cherry stem so i want to say yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?no i always got out bc my anxiety made me stutter/rush and miss letters, so i never even got past the classroom levels to the real thing

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?a lot!!! i laugh so hard i cry and get a stomach ache more than id like to admit

74. What is your favorite book?eleanor & park by rainbow rowell :) OR alice’s adventures in wonderland by lewis caroll

75. Do you study better with or without music?depends on if i can get into hyperfocus mode or not. if not, then i pick one song and put it on loop and blast it until it fades and is just loud background noise, but if i can focus then silence is best

76. Regularly burn incense?i used to but no burning anything in the dorms :( then i came home for break and it started giving me a headache

77. Ever been in love?i think so

78. Who would you like to see in concert?kesha, against me!, my chemical romance (rip), bigbang (also rip)

79. What was the last concert you saw?the one i mentioned earlier @ a rodeo

80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot tea

81. Tea or coffee?i live on coffee but i love tea too so both

82. Favorite type of cookie?mmm snickerdoodle. or just sugar cookies. chocolate chip is good when theyre hot and melty but not as good when theyre cold

83. Can you swim well?yeah! i love swimming!

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?yeah?

85. Are you patient?hahahahahahhahahahhahahhaa

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?oo. oooooo. okay so dj would have more variety of music but im a sucker for live music??? idk i feel like a band would be more memorable, but what if they fuck up your favorite song??? but what if they make it more special???????

87. Ever won a contest?yeah! i won an art contest once and got my drawing printed on christmas cards for a nonprofit that did things for cancer patients!

88. Ever have plastic surgery?im 17 i dont have that kind of money

89. Which are better black or green olives?depends on what theyre in?

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?good. live your life fuck the rules

91. Best room for a fireplace?bedroom!!! i love fireplaces in bedrooms its such a Look

92. Do you want to get married?idk. if it happens then it happens. im not planning on it though.

#tia-freyre #asks

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chickenfetus · 7 years ago

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all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse?? i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

#if anybody read through all 100.. thank u and have a good day!!!#softshouyous #asks

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chickenstuffedwithmozzarella · 7 years ago

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Holiii!! I saw the pic of Liam and Honey😍😍😍 Asdfahs. They are so cute! And also, i love Liam's eyes. It'a such a nice colour!! And i also saw the gifs!! I love that gif of Louis. HE LOOKS SO SOFT. I could cry. And Harry😂😂😂 Its such a mood. I always flip people off like that. Jajajaja. AND THE GIF OF HARRY WITH THE PINK JACKET. 😍He is dancing funny and i love hiiim. Oh, and i havent read that fic but i'll read it asap and then i'll tell you about it. Promise. Thanks for the rec💖 (1)

Hiiii, Love!!!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer! but yesterday I was busy, and when I came home my head hurt like a b*tch, 😖😖. Liam’s eyes very pretty, aren’t they? Everyone likes him better (poor honey). I always flip people like that too, jajaja, that’s why I needed a gif, and I found the best, jajajaja. I couldn’t resist. I’m already rereading that fic,😅. I love re reading things I read a long while ago, bc my English has improved a bit since I came to tumblr, and it’s like reading things for the first time again, so cool.

It wasnt hard being updated bcs OT was everywhere, but yeah. I always try to engage in my friend’s hobbies. & some of them do the same. One of my friends used to be a 1D fan before i met her, and though she is not longer in the fandom she tries to be updated. She sends me memes or things that remind her of 1d. She even watched a video of BG without me knowing/telling her about it. I dont deserver her. Ay, and last week she watched freddieismyqueen videos with me on a free period. I 💖 her (2)

HOW DID YOU FRIEND MANAGE TO QUITE?!?!?! Jajajajaja It feels imposible (not that I have tried…). And she sees things and isn’t intrigued about what is happening?? She should write a self help book,jajajaja. “How to suite one direction: the guide”,jajajaja. But she sounds cool and supportive of you, so keep her, jejeje.

Well, you just described me. Talking in public always end up in one of those two options. I have always wanted to do a road trip!!! You are totally invited of course. JAJAJAJA. Well, it just…happened? Our friend was having a very bad time and he was going through a lot of things and we didnt know how to cheer him up. And then one night we just starting watching a video of AuronPlay reading a fic, and he was happy for the first time in months. (3)And so my cousin said “what if we write him a fic?” And i said “omg, yes”. And thus was born. Its a crack fic. We just put in there his family, his biggest celebrity crush, our friends, ourselves and a couple of animals and started writing nonesense. He hasnt read anything yet, bcs we want to finish it first, and me and my cousin (and our siblings, bcs they wanted to help) only hang out alone sporadically. But we laugh a lot writing it. I hope he laughs too when he finally reads it. (4)

You, your sister and your cousins sound so cool. And your friends too. I’m gonna have to migrate and adopt you all, jajajaj. I’m sure your friend is gonna love it. It’s a recipe for success. Keep me updated when you show him and his reaction,please!!

“How does a gay look like?” Like someone with no toxic masculinity. But i see your point. Judging on looks is not cool. (And i dont usually do it. I watched their behaviour or their words. When someone doesnt ever use gender pronouns and just say “they” “parter” “somebody” im just👀👀👀 i see what u are doing). Yes yes. What you said makes sense. I understood. Dont worry. I have never heard that quote, but i think i could marry whoever wrote this. So much truth!! 😱 (6)

Tbh I never payed attention to that, :/ (heteronormative mind and all that). If I had, maybe I had known about a lot of my high school friends’ sexuality. Looking back, we were just a group of friends, boys a girls, nobody cared about boyfriends/girlfriends (we were friends from 12-16). Then we went our separate ways, and we lost touch. And now I see in Facebook that they are gays and lesbians, and I’m like… :/ we didn’t know much about those things back then. And I hope I didn’t make any comments who could offend/affect them. But it makes me so happy to see them being themselves and living with they’re boyfriends and girlfriends… 😊 I just wish I could have been a better friend back then 🤷🏻‍♀️. But now I pay attention to that. And I always try to show support in a non invasive way. And try to educate people about who they’re been homophobic, or make not appropriate comments… like there’s this boy (around 16) that likes to paint his nails. And I love everything to do with nails. And, at the shop, I comment on people’s nails (if I know them enough, lol). And I always try to say something nice to this guy. To normalize the fact that he has his nails painted (and no make a statement that I approve of it, if someone else is listening, so they don’t make rude comments around me). And then my friend’s sister is Lesbian. But their mother is so ancient-minded… like, my friend has a dit of fat, and she’s always making comment about how she should be skinnier bc she won’t ever find a husband 😒. And her sister is very thin. And once, she was working as cleaner in a /cuartel de la guardia civil(?)/. And their mother was always: hmmm, I hope she finds a good guy there, bc she’s never had a boyfriend. And I always thought: I wonder why, lol. Well, she finally came out to her parents, and while they don’t treat her different (which I don’t know if it’s good or no), they’re like “waiting” she changes her mind. And hoping she finds a boyfriend. Anyway, her mother is friends with my mom, and she comes to visit at the shop sometimes, and she always has a comment to make about what people do or don’t do. And I get so angry 😡. I’m always correcting her. But she doesn’t listen. And I feel sorry for my friend and her sister. So whenever I have the chance I saw her my support, and always talk about these things, lol. (I talk so much about lgbt+ things, that my family associates me with it, to the point that every time they see a rainbow or whatever they tell me: look look! And I just satisfied with it. At least they don’t make so much homophobic comments anymore 😒)

YOUR MOM IS AN ANTI? How? “Why would they fake a baby?” Thats a good question with awful answers. I miss RBB&SBB.😍 (I havent explained that to anybody, yet. But once while playing a game my cousins choose Rbb as his nickname so i choose Sbb and our friends started making questions and we where like? 1d things? Long story, leave it for another day? I’m glad they dont remember it bcs i wouldnt know how to explain that😂😂). Was your friend a fan of 1d too? (7)

Well, she isn’t a nasty anti, jajajja, but she doesn’t think they’re together. Not for nothing special, just that she thinks they would say it if they were together. And since they haven’t say it, they aren’t together. But I’ve shown her the famous Christmas pic, and she doesn’t Thing B was ever pregnant. And I show her pics of F to ask for an outsider opinion, and she doesn’t think the kid looks like Louis at all, lmao. So, I think if they ever come out, she wouldn’t care at all. Bahhh, I’ve talked about RBB/SBB with my friend sometimes, but it’s so bad of a thing, that we don’t come to a conclusion. She isn’t a fans, sadly. But she likes celeb gossip, and I like to talk, so… yesterday she came to visit/ to get her arms waxed (bc that’s my other unofficial job) and she ended up staying for 2 hours. Bc we had see each other briefly lately, couldn’t sit and talk properly in a while. And she always asks me about 1d, bc she knows I love to talk about it,jajaja. And I have a sideblog where I reblog things to show her. And well, yesterday we talked a little about BG, and I showed her the no-belly pic, and she was… 😳. And she thinks louis and Harry must be together, at least at some point, bc the way the touched wasn’t in a friendly way. She now has a boyfriend, and she kept saying: I’m not a very touchy person with my friends or my family, but when I’m with him I always want to touch him or kiss him, and that’s what those two were always doing. And I’m always: do you think that for real, or are you just saying it so I stop talking?? Jajjaja. And yes, she’s convinced they are/were together. She asked me if I think they’re still together, and I told her that now more than ever, but it’s a long story, so we should talk about it another time, bc lol, we were just talking about it for a couple of hours, and we both had things to do. So, we’ll keep talking another time.

Of course, I dont share that info with everybody, but I dont mind my friends knowing. I have this one friend that i bother everytime i get frustated bcs of a fic. I tell him the plot, and what is happening and i cry about it (and he laughs at me but at least he listens). Sometimes i make him choose which one should i read next when i cant decide. (9)

I almost did a fic reference yesterday talking with my friend, and I stopped myself midsentece, and laughed (I thought of you,jajaj) and she was so confused!! But she’s used to my weirdness, so we just laughed it way. And I kept talking, jajajajaj.

Girl, i have 6 dioptres😂😂 Thats what i have forbid myself from reading on the phone. No, i havent read that one, but its now on the list. I’ll tell you when i do! Though it make take a while :( (I understand you. Dont worry). (10)

😳 6?!!?! Please take care of your eyes!!! Stop reading… everything!! Jajaja. No, I’m kidding. I know about people who has 8… so you’re still ok,jajajaj. I have 1, but my ophthalmologist told me I’m very sensitive to change, bc I thought I had 27463 diopters, bc I saw so poorly 🙄🙄.

Yes, i also like IDGAF more than New Rules. They have overplayed that one. Have you heard Blow Your Mind? I love that one. It’s also a single so…i guess you have heard it? You’ll get amazing shots, i’m sure. Honey was sleeping on you? 😭😭😭😭 I love hiiim (11)

I listened today Room for 2 and Homesick, and I think I like them. I’ll have to listen this new one two. For me, to like a song, I have to heard /a lot/ (not as much as Despacito, please). It has to have a catchy tune. That’s why I think a like Carolina, or Woman, or Kiwi, and I don’t understand why people is so fidyfvbure about the lyrics, jajjaja.Honey is always sleeping on me. The other day Liam was sleeping between my legs, and Honey came and just laid on top of my poor limo. And I wanted to kill him, bc liam never comes to sleep with me. They’re so different… but I love them both.

Oh, my little sister. I just wanted to tell you that yesterday was her birthday. She almost cried when she saw that me and my older sister had brought her Flicker deluxe as a present. (We hadnt bought it yet. Dont judge us). She was freaking out just bcs of that and i was laughing so hard thinking that she’s gonna pass out when she sees the rainbow flag her friends have gotten her for Nialls show. And also another pair of Cds. She wont survive the show. Poor thing. But she was so happy 😍😍 (12)You start next week? Okay. I’ll ask again next wednseday. Have a nice daaaay!!

Not judging, you’re amazing sisters!! Awww, poor thing!! She will have an amazing time at Niall’s concert, for sure. And, yes, please, tell her to bring the flag. I’m so happy seeing how people are starting to bring rainbow flags to niall concerts too. And have you seeing that he has taken pics with rainbow flags?? He even brought one to the stage the other day!! It makes me inexplicably happy to say everything covered in rainbows. There was so much at Harry’s show too, my sister said it looked like a pride parade. Hey, Dunkirk it’s about to start khbkhdfbvkjdnfvkjndfv. But, have YOU SEEING THE NEW ROYAL BABY WAS NAMED AFTER LOUIS?????? AND HIS TWEET?!?!? IM SCREAMED!!!! Dijffvjkbdded. Bye love. I have to feed my cats before the movie starts!!! Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

#anon #I just saw ask 5 is missing??#kjdjeidobcioedcboie.#sorry #Dunkirk is about to start and I’m sihdbkddhvhbjefv #EDIT: anon!! I forgot to ask you if you’re the middle sister?? me too!! I have so much to say of how that position influence people's #personality #jajajajajaa #and I can related to Harry and Louis too #🤦🏻‍♀️

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sxdomy · 8 years ago

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All numbers

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? not @ all3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissues, napkins, sticky notes, random cuts of notebook paper4: how do you take your coffee/tea? two-four sugars w creamer or 1/2 n 1/2 (tea)5: are you self-conscious of your smile? not after i got braces6: do you keep plants? no7: do you name your plants? 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? idk the only art i do is in photography, and i try to do dark/spooky shit.. it doesnt have a meaning9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? i dont rly have a friends group, less drama that way12: what's your favorite planet? smth has always intrigued me abt mars13: what's something that made you smile today? lars (:14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idc it's somewhere to live.. we can fix it up if we have the money. if so, i would prob have a bunch of shit everywhere lmao15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it says language programming ??16: what's your favorite pasta dish? some plain old penne/rigatoni w red gravy, but it has to be GOOD red gravy .. none of that ragu/preggo shit17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? black and it already is dyed that color, but i do want to experiment a bit and get few pieces red18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. JESUS.. these are endless... once i RLY had to pee, and i was @ school. it was after school hrs. my friend and i were waiting for the game to start. all the doors were locked up @ the school. i think they took out the portapotty from outside, so i said to my friend, "let's go to the lower field" (we have an upper and lower field idk what other schools have lmao) despite it saying there are cameras down there (which IK for sure bc i've seen the computer w the school cameras, and there are ones surveilling the fields), i peed. in 8th grade during lunch, this girl pissed me the fuck off. i can't remember what she did, but i picked up her sandwich and threw it to the ground.another time in 8th grade during gym, my friends and i were fooling around during a fitness walk (walk thru the trail surrounded by woods oooo). i was yelling "IN DA GREENZ" bc i was a rly weird kid, and now we bring it up whenever we see bushes. OKAY lasT memORYYY in 8th grade, i was on the soccer team. i sucked @ it... the ball was coming to me, and i tried to kick it. instead of kicking it, my foot went on top of the ball resulting in my fall19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i used to keep a journal. last winter was the most recent journal i'd had, and my guidance counselor purchased it for me. i was going thru a rly hard time, and it was an outlet from that. after the winter ended, i never felt the need to write in it again.. it hasnt gotten that bad20: what's your favorite eye color? lars' eye color21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. 22: are you a morning person? depends... if my sleeping schedule is just like that, I LOVE WAKING UP IN THE MORNING. if i don't usually, then no fuck it lmao23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? literally nothing, but i do that when i have obligations... i get to it @ some point24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lars25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i've broken into my friend's house and my own. breaking into my friend's house wasn't rly that weird. i was out of it bc i had hardly gotten sleep the previous night. i also had permission lmao it wasn't as if i just went in. my friend had forgotten her key. breaking into my own house was actually bizarre ...26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i usually wear my docs, but i switch out. before getting my docs, i wore my all black vans W LITERALLY EVERYTHING. the only time i wouldnt was when i wore a light outfit, which wasnt often bc 98% of the time i wear all black27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don't chew gum. it has aspartame, which is literally poison28: sunrise or sunset? i haven't seen a sunset since i was a child, and i want to definitely see it again29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? monty is my lover30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. socks are good. if you wear them in the cold months around the house, you are less susceptible to sickness. they also work well when you wear them w most shoes bc they prevent sweat. lars take notes (; i love wearing weird socks. i love socks. i usually never match socks bc no one will see them?? if i wear a black sock, i try to match w another black sock tho. i do sleep w socks in the cold months. otherwise, my feet would freeze. sometimes i wear multiple socks in the summer to keep my feet warm. i do wear white socks sometimes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i wasn't w my friends, but i found a drunken man in my rm after 3am on st. patricks day two yrs ago33: what's your fave pastry? cannoli34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept this one stuffed animal who was a girl. she had blonde braids, and i used to kiss her on the lips when no one was looking. i knew it was weird bc she wasn't real. i also used to pretend i was fucking her... it was a weird childhood. idk where she is now35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I LOVE PENS!!!! okay im going to sound like a weirdo.. i only love certain kinds. i hate cheap ass pens. my fav pens are the ones that u click on the bottom to get the tip bc the clicking helps me concentrate. it's also fun to just click it. i haven't used a clicky one in awhile bc i bought myself pentels. i love pentels as well bc they come in nice colors, and i rly like the cap for it. i like pens that come from certain companies bc it looks like i've been somewhere.. maybe i have? i've gotten free pens from places and some of them i just found w that lettering lmao 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? nine inch nails (:37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? dont care as long as ik where everything is. my parents call it messy, but i call it my peace38: tell us about your pet peeves! i hate when ppl put things back where they don't belong. idk i dont keep track of this shit39: what color do you wear the most? black40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? none41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? 1984 by george orwell42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks LMAO43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no one44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? the last time i was w lars45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. idk47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? high fructose corn syrup48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? idr what it was then, but now it's getting raped.. ive had this fear since i was 14 i think49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i dont usually buy that shit50: what's an odd thing you collect? wristbands.. i like to say i've been places51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? lars , peach // the front bottoms52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the yr just started, bUT I LOVE IAN'S (IDUBZZZZ) VIDEO OF "I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION"53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i want to see rocky horror picture show. i've seen heathers, beetlejuice, and pulp fiction. i love heathers and beetlejuice. i didn't understand pulp fiction entirely, but that could be bc i was spammed by a gc while watching it54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? idk56: what are some things you find endearing in people? smile57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i never realized that this song sounds like five mini songs put together... i did reenact them in my head58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? nonexistent lol59: what's your favorite myth? black eyed children60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? anything from edgar allan poe61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? idk i hate getting gifts i'd rather give them, but i don't usually give them bc i never have money when it's time62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ORANGE!63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? no64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? lars66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i have SAD soooo68: what's winter like where you live? FUCKING HORRIBLE, but it's worse in other places69: what are your favorite board games? ive been missing guess who? lately70: have you ever used a ouija board? no, but my math teacher says u have to make it from a certain wood and put a spell on it for it to work... too much work 😩71: what's your favorite kind of tea? lipton lemon!!!!!72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i try to note everything down, but sometimes i can remember things w/o writing them down73: what are some of your worst habits? staying in bed for too long74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bye75: tell us about your pets! i have a dog, and she's old af lmao i never rly liked her idk i hate dogs76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? homework and probably calling up my new job to see when i have to go in.. cant be arsed.. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? FANCLUB!!! (:79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?lars gave me cute cat headphones80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white.. i didn't choose it81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i can't rn82: are/were you good in school? i made it into university, so i guess so83: what's some of your favorite album art? the devin n god are raging inside of me // brand new .. cant think of many in particular84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? one in remembrance of my friend who died and a full sleeve85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YES YES YESSSS MANSON 'S CONCEPTS R SO GOOD (: 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? idk88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i just rly like frida kahlo89: are you close to your parents? no90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i want to visit/live in philly so badly ):91: where do you plan on traveling this year? texas92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i only put a little fresh mozz on it if there is quite a bit93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i just wear my hair the same everyday94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? lars95: what are your plans for this weekend? none96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? omfg i had 20 or so awaiting updates last summer that i had to finally do bc it was fucking up my computer97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? what98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont hike99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. NOBODY'S PERFECT BY HANNAH MONTANA100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 yrs into the future.. why would i want to relive the last 5 yrs of life ?? idk im just fine living w my past mistakes.. they've shaped me

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yumenosakiacademy · 5 years ago

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metr0con 2019 saturday diary

cosplayed/breakfast: same as the other 2 diaries. snack: a twin kitkat.

my eyes only, buckaroo. for future me.

can i b real w u i waited until 3 am to type this n a lot (esp from panels/early in the day) is HELLA fuzzy!!! sry! ;w; also it’s like. 4 am as im typing this n im not in the mood to write a diary! recalling everything is tiring, yknow? n i need to go to bed ghh... anyway!!

we left late bc i couldnt decide who to cosplay n i arrived late :(( anyway, it hadnt been 5 minutes there when i dropped my plastic purple heart ring i had from the dentist n i was so sad :( but i went to the bn-ha panel n i dont remember a lot of it sry. i remember iida wore a giant floppy sunhat that said Sunny Vibes on it tho n momo wore a black n white striped dress w sunflowers!

After this was cafe-stuck and it was fun! everyone kept calling jade a furry n i asked nepeta if she’d ever seen Nyan Neko Sugar G!rls to which she said no n someone asked her if she’d heard of/seen nek0para n she said she’d heard of it but it was “a bit.. too Extreme/Much for me.....” and someone asked the group (vriska, jade, john, dave, nepeta, tavros, aradia) why they were doing this and they said it was equius’ and john’s (i think?) prank that got way too out of hanf bc kanaya made the outfits for reals. someone asked vriska if she was a furyr cuz she had a spidersona and throughout the panel vriska and tavros kept talking abt how vriska took away his legs/him not having any. i asked the aradia n vriska if they’d work good together to make a good hall0ween themed cafe if this cafe were real n they were like “what’s hall0ween?” n the others told them it was a holiday that had candy n dead bodies n stuff! n someone asked abt who has the least human rights or just rights in general n john was like “jade u dont rights, ur an animal” n jade was like “trans rights”.

i decided to skip the d-dlc panel bc i didnt rly wanna write poetry cuz i do that at home n i dont rly care abt theories n discussing stuff like that so! i went walking around the dealers room n stuff. my crown actually came off at this time n i remember feeling like my crown had fallen off bc i thought i heard the mini whoosh it makes when it falls down but when i looked behind me, it wasnt there so i checked the aisles nearby n it wasnt there so i assumed someone had snatched it off my head but after a lot of walking, i found it half-underneath a con table w black tablecloth?? so i picked it up n went to the cosplay help desk and the guy safety-pinned it to my wig so i was all good to go!!

after that, i tried to look around to see if i could find any ens-tars cosplayers bc the meerup but i didnt see any so i was like oh well whatever im going to the LL panel anyway. so i went to the aki hana panel n i have videos of it! so im not rly gonna talk abt it. they played kings game there tho and “who’s most likely”! they said “who’d like an!mal crossing the best” n my immediate thought was rin so i raised my hand but the answer they had thought of was kotori, which actually makes much more sense haha. they said my answer was valid tho. i still got candy for answering! anyway the punk set ruby next to me ended up being the hifumi from yesterday that gave me the flower tin n they said it was nice to see me again n i said i wasnt able to go to the ES meetup bc i was only told when it was, not where it was, n they said that Eri/Eli (?) 9im guessing that was the host of the meetup) had to cancel it n i went oh. at the end of the panel i received a kotori pic! also a girl dressed up as a witch complimented my tsukasa outfit n i knelt down n said “thank you, princess” or smth i was like “i had a ring that i was gonna use to like. pretend to give to pretty girls but.. i lost it” n they seemed flattered but we parted ways!

after this was the aqours panel n the hanamaru did a dance n the you also did one but then they started playing the p0cky game n Headphones n i got kind of bored so i left n i heard “tsukasa!” n it was the jakurai from yesterday (that told me abt the meetup) dressed as mao in a yukata w their friend as oni ritsu n they looked so good! the jakumao apologized saying the meetup was cancelled. i think we talked for a sec then i went to go check out the rw-by q n a n it was a whole lot of roasting from the audience haha bc they did questions one at a time (ex: questions for yang, now questions for blake...) n i asked yang how she gets her hair so nice n she went “...nice?” w an unbelieving laugh/tone then they moved on n i was confused but oh well! they asked summer how she felt abt sloppy seconds bc taiyang n how taiyang’d feel abt a 3rd wife n nora got asked how many pancakes she could eat at a time n she was like “how much time do ya have?” n after the qna they started playing a weird game n it was rly boring so i left but the panel was almost over anyway.

after i left i ran into a ramuda n they recognized me as tsukasa n they’re into ES n they said they hadnt watched the anime yet n they were surprised to see valkyrie in it bc they thought they werent gonna b but they said they hope the anime doesnt butcher shhu bc they like shu n know a lot of ppl hate shu n stuff. we talked abt the ES cosplayers at the con for a bit n i told them abt the ritsu+mao cosplayers n we had anice time talking n they said they rly liked rabits n i was like oh dude me too!! “i havent met anyone who hates ryu-seitai. like, Good.” n they were like “how could you hate ryu-seitai, they all wanna b nice n make friends” n i was like “yea mayb except midori” there was more but yea! i also ran into the witch girl n her friend from earlier bc they went “tsukasa!!!” n her friend (cosplayin smth from hn-k) showed me they had/got a leo plush n i was like “OH MY GOD. HE’S FINALLY BEEN FOUND!! HOLD ON CAN WE HAV A PIC W IT” so we took a pic of the leo plush beside my “where is leo??” sign like!! hell yea! n i was like “leo needs to pay child support. he’s evading his taxes. tax fraud” or smth around this point i think. at some point, on the escalators, i noticed a juto n a samatoki but when they got off the scalator they were heading for the exit so i couldnt rly ask for their pic so i decided to try n find em later.

then i went to the bn-ha panel but it was full to the BRIM but i made the mistake of sliding into the middle of an empty row for a good seat but the prson sat in front of me had big poofy hair so i couldnt see like half of the characters n ppl filld all the seats to my left n right so i couldnt leave. i was rly bored n trapped so i went on my ipad for almost all of thepanel n read part of a chiana/zu fic n stuff until the girl w the big hair left then i focused a Little more on the panel but i was still bored so wehn i noticed the ppl to my right all leave except the one guy next to me, i left the panel. i was sad bc at the time of that panel, there was a DR murder mystery panel that i couldve tried to attend instead but i was trapped so i couldnt :((

after that i decided to wander around for a bit before idolfest but when i went in at 5 pm, i 4got just how small that room was n how few chairs it had, n there were ppl standing against the walls so i leaned my sign against the right of the double doors BUT I LOOKED AHEAD N THERE WAS!! A HYPM!C PERFORMANCE STARTING TO HAPPEN!! DIVISION RAP ANTHEM WAS STARTING UP N MTR WAS ON THE STAGE!! but there were tall ppl standing in front of me n i was crowded against the back so i raised my ipad way above my head n started recording n watched them thru my ipad util someone opened the right door n i had to scramble tog rab my sign n lean it against me somehow n it made my fildiming falter but!! god i was just so exciting bc i wasnt expecting A HYPM!C PERFOAMNCE!! they did so good too ;w; after that, it was a solo hanayo perfoamnce then 3 songs from a non-anime-specific idol group that did 3 voca songs (one of which was LUVVVORATORY!!) n another non-anime dol group that did kpop songs (they were rly pretty n good) n then a you solo then a you/hane duet! ALSO during the hypm!cperformance, te juto n sama n a gentaro were dancing in front of me n right after the perfoamcne, a BB group opened the door but realized they missed the hypm!c performance n left n i decided to try n find em later too.

after the last performance, there was still time, so a samus came over to me n asked to take a pic of my sign n they said they like ens-tars too n they said they cosplay tsukasa too n they ran a panel as him back in georgia n we talked abt best boys n i showed them all the keychains on my bag n when i pointed at mika n said 2nd best boy they went “:o me too!” n there was a lot more said but we went on talking for a while abt ens-tars n they showed me pics of the tori n arashi cosplayers that day they saw.

after that i just walked around for like 45 minutes until the samus saw me again n waved me over so i was talking w them n they were apparently drinking alcohol despite being 18 n their friend was 23 n we were just talking abt stuff n i noticed a trigger group on the escalator n we called out to them n i took their picture n samus was like “dude it’s so cool that ur into id0lish7 too” n then we kept talking n at one point the samus was like “tsukasa i luv u” n made a lil finger heart n i tried 2 make one but my hands were kinda full but i managed to make one! they also said earlier today, they saw a sasuke cosplayer getting arrested n they took a pic of it for their snapchat lmao n it was them in front of a cop car n they said the person said “dont touch me!!” to the cop. the friend w samus said the only idols he knows were the combie one n that saki was def best girl hands down like, its a fact n i was like “ur right. it not even a hot take, its the Facts.” anyway then i wnted to walka round a bit more so i did n at like. 7:10 i decided “why not go near the photosoot area n registration to see more cosplayers that r there bc ive just been walking repetitive loops around the dealers room entrance n the con floor so! there could b some new cosplayers there! n lo n behold i found a tenn n ryuu that i had seen briefly earlier! n took their pic! then less than a few ftaway, i tried to walk past some ppl but there was a bag in the way so i stepped over it (like, not on it, i mean. like, Over, to avoid it) but i noticed it was an MTC itabag n the person next to it had bunny ears n it!! was the juto n sama i was looking for! so i took their pic n was talking abt how cool it is to see more hypm!c cosplayers here this yr until some guy came up n started telling the samatoki they looked like kaworu n they mistook them for kaworu n they said they didnt kno who i was supposed to b but i looked nice (iirc?) so i left n near the prop check table, I SAW THE BB BOYS! so i ran up to them n asked for a picture n then i started talking abt the hypm!c thing n there being so many this yr when there were none last yr n the jiro was like “aa ur tsukasa” n we started talking abt ES a lil bit n the anime then i complimented their ritsu+mao plushies on their bag n left!

after that i just roamed the halls until 8 pm. then the v0ltron panel! keith n lance hd like, a roasting rivalry going on n keith was like “i keep getting bullied! i dont deserve this!” n i kept askiing questions. me, a green ranger, a dave, n the dave’s friend were mainly the ones asking questions lmao. anyway keithd b like “lance dont touch me oh ew” and i asked keith what his fav anime was since he said he was a weeb n he said blue ex0rcist n i asked keith if hed seen LL (bc LL cosplayers were dancing to the music outside the panel room n i heard it) n lance was like “oh yea, he knows all the dances. he does them in his room” n keith denied it n at one point, i was like “since keith n lance share one braincell, who has it the most” n they said keith. the bonding moment was also mentioned a lot and alluras death n how lance can get much more “game” than keith (like, ladies. sorry im tired they might hav used another term) and an amami in the audience told lance to fortnite dance with him aftr thelance fortnite danced n!! just. a lot happened. it was a very casual-ish panel imo. haha.

after that i 4got that the bn-ha panel was at 10 not 9 so i just decided to wander then hit up the dance floor for most of the duration n i spotted the juto n sama n a nurse ramuda that i remember the samus talking abt n also someone who looked like the arashi the samus showed me but in an ali!ce madeness returns dress o i asked the ramuda for a pic and then started dancing and the juto got into one of the dance circles n just started going hard as HELL n i was just dancing in the area they were near n out of the corner of my eye i’d see juto just absolutely KILLING IT w their dance moves bc they were dancing in front of their friends (occasionally w samatoki or posing w them) n i was just jamming out n during a slow song i pulled up a pic of chiaki on my ipad n started slowdancing w my ipad n the girl near me was like “that’s a Mood” n i think i heard the possibly-arashi n the others laugh a bit bc i was slow-dancing w “chiaki’ haha but god the dance floor was WILD! there was a guy w a saxophone at some point playing along w the music then a guy w a guitar! n we yelled lyrice to dont stop believing n stuff.

the the bn-ha panel! ...i was bored. most of the time i put tape on my leo sign and looked up wigs on ebay n stuff n sometimes i couldnt hear v well bc i sat near the back. they started up like, truth or dare but w a beach ball to decide who got to ask the dare or w/e? but i noticed a gentaro in the back of the room so i was like “ill just wait until the end of the panel then ask for their picture” then trivia started n they eventually asked what episode dabi appeared in n i was thinking “ep 7 of the most recent season” n some guy guessed that (he was the only one who fuessed) but the izuku n katsuki looked at their paper n i heard them mutter “episode 31″ so after somebody guessed ep 42 n the panelists said ‘”guess between 30-42--” i said ep 31 n went up n got a pack of aiw stickers but i shoulve taken the superhero shirt tbh. aftr that i decided to leave n asked the gentaro for a pic n they were one of the ryuus earlier they said n also a jakuarai from yesterday! they were like “oh! ur the tsukasa i keep seeing/running into!” n i was like “oh! hi!”

idk what convo this was in but someone was like “do u like how they did anzu?” n i was like “oh she’s so cute they rly said Fuck Anzu Haters” n they agreed.

#i shouldve added more but it's 5 am n i need to b awake at 8:10 am lmao goodnight #con diary

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survivormarmoreal · 6 years ago

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Episode #4: "I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org" - Brian

So.... BC quit. Don't know why (and I am not gonna enquire, I just know he is hella busy). But ya I don't know what this means going forward but im gonna roll with it. If i'm not flexible, then that is not a good winner. so ya looking forward toi see whatever happens, and if Madigan go to tribal again, all i know is that i will still be safe cause james and I will just get Keaton involved

I’m SHOCKED BC quit because I thought I was going home lmao so now I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen I’m praying we swap tbh so I can meet up with Brian or Bryce who I know sbsbsbs.

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Okay I'm super sad BC quit. They seemed like such a sweetheart. And I always hate to see anybody quit. I'm usually kind of annoyed about quitters but I hope BC is all good and it was just because they were busy... :(

This game has been really good to our tribe. We havent gone to tribal. I have a majority alliance of 4. Everyone is active and does 100% on the challenges. Its been good. Havent had much luck in idol hunt tho so probably someone already found it. Still nervous for the challenge. I want to keep winning but the bad thing in the eyes for the other tribe.

The game is always changing... and someone quitting just shows how quickly everything can change in the game. Plans set forward destroyed... alliances ruined just due to what the game might throw at you at any given time. It’s always scary but you know what... sometimes you gotta look at something bad and say hey let’s test my gameplay a little bit... that is what I’m good at and that is what I plan to do!

So we have swapped. and im not with james. This is hateful huh. first bc quitting today and now this. fuck this. and im with marie and keaton as well. ffs. oh well. time to get socialising and do this shit!

I KNEW A SWAP WAS COMING!!! I felt it deep in my bones. Do sharks have bones? I actually don't think they do. Oh well. I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING. Obviously I'm super nervous now because I was in a great spot before. But luckily I still have my #1 Brian. And Charlie who is a part of my Four of a Kind alliance and he has an idol. Plus Anna and I hopefully can work together like we have in other games. I just hope she trusts me. Ugh and I freaking hope we win this challenge. Because OG Dinah members definitely have a target as the last intact tribe. SO much is going on in my little gay brain.

Okay my brain is going a mile a minute with this swap. I'm reconnecting with Anna. She seems excited to see me and she told me she isn't super close with Jayden or Nick so that's amazing. I told Brian about Charlie's idol. So this is good. We're surviving.

omg so we swapped and im so sad nathan isnt here but thats about it. happy to be away from jayden since he IGNORES me. when i read these after the game im gonna seem so obsessed huh KJDFSHFAKSJD. but anyway. dennis is here and hes one of my fave ppl ever! hes just so nice. we shared idol guesses and i really wanna go to the end with him. matt is pretty cool and we both stan the good place and naomi smalls so i feel like we'll be good allies. marie is a queen and super nice but maybe not super active but we both love ari so yay. naptime maynor isnt really liking my humor JKASDHF but thats ok. and kirby guy is alright too!! nicole seems nice enough if not a little standoffish but hoping for the best :s love this tribe overrall tho and really hoping to avoid tribal

I got ZType for the duels! Blessed. I can do well in this game and I can't be the reason our tribe loses in the RARE chance we do. So i'm feeling okay.

Too annoyed to write too much right now. But yet another org, and yet another swap fuck! Honestly, this is ridiculous. We have three members on either 7 person tribe, and even if we do manage to succeed in surviving another non-dinah is going to replace the voted out member... you can't make this shit up.

I knew the swap was coming. But im with Dennis which is good. He has some connections with Bryce and Nicole so hopefully they work with us. Keaton is also here like oh Boi. 👀 going to see if he wants to work with me this time. Having him around could help me in this game.

James quits by leaving the server and ignoring everyone.

https://gph.is/1neigCU my mood at my initial alliance members both qutiing time to die?

Ok so Klick quit which is kinda upsetting cuz I was grinding tf outta that challenge and I lowkey played a game with him about a year and a half ago and kinda wanted to reconnect. BUT Nathan is now on the tribe which is like the nest possible scenario. Also we have Anna so hopefully we have an easy majority. Also I assume Dennis has began running the game over on the other tribe because he is great and will probably end up voting me out at f9 or something. But YAY F14 IM NOT OUT YET ANSNSKDKLZLXKC

MY IMPACT? I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org to save Charlie from doing Multitask and then James had a fit because he got it and was sleeping so he couldn't pick... I... can't believe how I'm WINNING this game? Anna, I hope you get my winner's crown READY because I'm doing the damn thing! I am sorry I made him quit because I didn't think he would kjHDAJK... but wow...

Although I am in the minority right now based on tribal lines, Nathan is someone I've wanted to work with for like eons, and I feel so much more comfortable with him on my tribe than James and letting Annabelle hold my fate in her hands. I think I have an upward battle, but I know Charlie has the idol and will warn Sharky in the case I need Charlie to use it on himself. The two from my OG tribe I got stuck with is by far the only two from Dinah that I would go out of my way to protect in this game and knowing Charlie has the idol... ugh... I don't even have to DO anything and tea gets served to me. Love Sharky.. love Charlie.. love Nathan... can't wait to thrive in this game now!

So the swap, i thought would have been really bad for us original dinah people but so far it looks like we might pull through. Nicole told by Dennis to me that she is willing to work with us but im a little sketch because she hasnt really responds to me exept like one message and then it stops. Im trying to get info from keaton and see if he wants to work with me. I have to keep an eye on him cuz he’s messy af. 👀 I think we could be a strong tribe so hopefully we win the next immunity. I rather have my no going to tribal streak going. I need to start talking to our new tribe members as well.

well james left so we got nathan i'm not upset about it i love nathan he's my person this game i think and we swapped with sharky on the tribe and i just played with sharky and we're in majority so things are really looking up here for me tbvh i feel like sharky might want to get rid of one of my OG tribe people but we'll see how it goes.

This game is weird man. I was so ready to play 2048, but Kirby Boi #2 was a quitter, so now I'm not playing 2048, both people I trusted QUIT, and Dennis is on my tribe. I am going to lose really soon. But hopefully I can find an in on my tribe and survive.

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i just want an advantage. but oh so now 4/5 of my tribe is together and im just here.. love that! not sarcastic!! miss nathan tho! so far clicking with dennis still and naptime. hes a true carly rae jepsen fan i asked his fave and he said sour candy which is like (bad) but not well known so he must actually like her!! nicole left me on read.. love that! sarcastic!! and yaa wooh loving the new tribe that guy who quit bc of multitask kind of a flop but go off now im closer to merge!

This morning finding out that James was removed was suprising. It sucks cuz i was enjoying doing the ztype. I got to 7,100 which i think its good but idk if it actually was. But im ready for this challenge and hopefully we could win in it. Definately dont want to go to tribal.

Okay Nathan is AMAZING. I love him. And I'm totally going to work with him for sure. i'm so glad he didn't flop. And Honestly I'm glad James quit so that I could work with Nathan. This lip sync challenge is going to be silly. I offered to do the editing which honestly is a big undertaking but I like to be in control and It's definitely going to paint a target on my back but if we win it'll be so great.

OMG SO FUN CHALLENGE THAT I HATE WOOH. i love this but i hate it. idk. i REALLY dont want to do a queen song so i pretended to not know who they are NNN but all that caused was my tribemates shading me... and its like... matt says beyonce is just "ok" and i need to listen to real music.??? just say u hate women and go. JK. maybe. but ANYWAYS. love dennis still and naptime is so funny love his pins! nicole left me on read some more so i sent her demi lovatos GET BACK music video and she finally responded with two 5 word msgs and ghosted again so um really loving that! kirby guy also doesnt reply a lot but thats ok totally loving only talking to 4 ppl!

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edit: quitters are shitters

Our song is Dont stop me now by queen which is awesome. I just need to find the time to work on it later today or tomorrow morning but have an idea what imma do so thats good. Still talking to keaton but no game talk it. Hopefully soon because im still feeling sketch on this tribe. I dont wanna get voted out pre-merge. *knocks on wood* ✊🌳

Making the video was really fun. Had more fun and felt more comfortable after making the ones before were i wasnt as comfortable. This is one of my fav comps now. Cant wait to see how it turns out.

UM?? I'm CACKLING?? So Sharky showed me the clips he got from Nick and Jayden, and I'm just so confused how straight men get any sort of action when they're as stiff as them? I mean I guess they're not ugly so that probably helps, but neither of them are good at using a camera... So I'm just SO ...

I have nothing else to talk about other than how fucking STIFF the straight men are in their lip sync videos, so whew... love visibility…

worst comp for me ever like i was fine doing 2048 i could have probably helped with that but like a music video? YIKES that's not my thing at all i didn't know what to do or what to help especially since i'm so not gonna get on camera >.< i hate being useless if we lose like ugh lmfao

Okay so this challenge was...a disaster. I asked everyone to just do the song and then I'd make it look good with editing. That didn't work out. And I had more trouble editing than i thought. I feel like I dropped the ball and I'm not sued to being someone holding my tribe back. I tried to hide our bad lipsyncers. Charlie got sick. And something happened in the rush of uploading it that gave me a weird crop and a couple of cuts that I screwed up but I ran out of time. I'm feeling really disappointed in myself.

Okay we lost. This sucks. two of the judges called out the edit/effort specifically so that doesn't feel great. But I'm going to look at this as a positive. Maynor and Dennis stay safe on the other tribe. And Now I can use this to make some real connections and alliances on this tribe. Like Chad Michaels I will rise from the ashes and be the gayest winningest phoenix you have ever seen.

Ok so me Nathan and Nick should really stick with Annabelle. Easy majority makes easy game which makes happy Jayden

So we lost the challenge, but I don't feel too... bad about that. I mean if I go home, clearly I fucked the fuck up and felt too confident... but I think that I feel... good?

Firstly, thank you to the judges for recognizing my SNAP in the lip sync. I wasn't sure they were going to do my rap in the challenge, so I'm glad it was in there hehe... Now... going to tribal is a part of the game and the strategy has been lacking up till now, so I'm excited to jump in and finally explore that part of the game. It'll be a nice start to my resume, following accidentally make James quit LMFAO.

Right now, I think I'm in a solid spot. Nick said he wouldn't vote for me and I mean.. we haven't talked much, but I expect him to not lie for no reason... and I'm going to make sure to increase our conversation and expand on what HE wants to happen to just have that tea under my belt. I think Jayden is who I would like gone, and I think I'd be able to gather the votes to get that to happen. It's not like I have anything against him personally, but I just feel it's hardest to talk to him because him and I are not alike from what I've gathered. I'm the uber gay and for the uber gay and the Travis Scott fanboy to get along? Would be shocking.

I like Annabelle and Nathan a lot and I don't think they'd throw votes for me. I have my little final 2 deal going on with Nathan, but highkey I don't think I'd keep him as my #1 over Marie, if I get to the point where I meet with her, so I have no problem cutting him or Annabelle in the future. I do think it'd be better to work WITH them, especially for now, and I think they feel similar sentiments, but I don't know for sure!

But now we come to the real people I would like to protect going into this vote, Charlie and Sharky. I love my OG Dinah babies so much, and I will make sure their names aren't the targets of this vote. I think Sharky has set himself up well, and since he told me Charlie has the idol, I think we should especially be OK. I also think Annabelle and Nathan seemingly want to work with us, so .... whew...

ALSO, this is a mid-confessional update, but 2 alliances were formed. We have the "Tea Party" alliance with Sharky, me, and Nathan (the gays) and then the "Dinah Dudes" alliance with Charlie, Sharky, and me (OG Dinah's) and then I think another sub-alliance with the "Tea Party" and Annabelle is coming to fruition, so kjHDKAS... ya... I think I'm SET. I can't wait to wreck shit!

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So we swapped tribes and here I am with 3 from my original tribe, 3 from the other tribe and Bryce from the third tribe. Bryce and I know each other, and by that I mean I just blindsided him another org... oops! Hopefully he doesn’t come after me but who knows because I literally did not participate in this challenge at all! We still won though so hopefully I’ll get to redeem myself in the next one

My arms are SORE from pulling all my best Freddie Mercury moves out for this lip sync, I am SO tired. But I honestly am so glad i gave my 100% effort because I truly needed to pull through for this tribe and show them I’m not just a sitting duck. (Is that the term? Idk.)

Either way I’m glad we all got to bond through this and here’s to being safe ANOTHER round (I’ve never gone to tribal so wooooo!)

i want an IDOL or sth. but um dennis is so fun love that man. always asks daily to work with me. like idk how many times i have to tell him that he is literally the only person on this tribe to pm me first without me having to (NOT EXAGGERATION). marie and matt? no reply from marie in like 30 hours and matt hasnt been talking to me since i said idk queen. kirby guy? replies with 1 word answers and taste in music offends me NNN. nicole? who. all she does is ignore me and like somtimes she replies and ill reply in the SAME LIKE 10 SECONDS, and she'll just leave me on read JKADSFHAKSJ. comes back like 9 hours later with no reasoning on why she stopped talking and with just a "hi", and thats if im lucky! idk i hope we swap soon or merge. like the whole preswap i was praying for a swap to find some good allies bc all i had was nathan really, and now i just have dennis. maybe by merge ill have a whole 3 allies??? oh wait theres um maynor hes cool i always have to pm him first but hes at least responsive and can hold a conversation! black bear diner goes off and i WILL be eating there the next time in houston

We lost, which was hardly surprising when I saw the other tribe's video lol. So now it's not looking good for us dinahs... but luckily I have the idol up my sleeve hehe. Gonna tell Brian and Sharky so that we can use it to save us…

I was so happy that we won immunity. Stil feeling a little sketch on this tribe. Injust hope that the vote isnt charlie, brian, or sharky. And especially sharky cuz he’s my duo. Now dennis, nicole, and i are the only 3 to not go to tribal yet. Its pretty awesome amd kinda scary.

https://youtu.be/BfzG9xjtCRw

Down with the straights! I still think Jayden is going, but if Charlie ends up going I'm JUMPING because that means I've been lied to by people that want to claim to be my final 2... I do trust in Jayden going but we shall SEE!

So the tribe lost and I’m a bit nervous because I’ve only heard one name... I would have loved to saved my idol until I needed it but I think it’s very likely my name could be the second one going around... we shall see what happens though.

Ugh okay so I was hoping for a simple easy vote. But as usual there is just a little bit of drama. Nick told Anna/Nathan that he has a legacy advantage to be used at F13/F6 which is trash because that means if we lose next time he'll use that and be safe. But if we vote him out he'll gift it to Jayden and we have the same problem. Plus Charlie is wigging out because he has a bad feeling about the vote, which is totally fair because he isn't talking very much. And Nick told Anna her name got thrown out which is just untrue. This is just kind of messy and not in a cute way.

Jayden is voted out 5-2.

#episode #allmadhere

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drashleighreid · 6 years ago

Note

If you have the time, do all you haven’t done!

omfg! haha okay holy shit

Alisons: Sexuality?

lesbonym

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

She/her

Amaryllis: birthday?

nov 4th!

Anemone: Favorite flower?

sunflowers and port wine magnolias for their scent and peonies!

Angelonia: Favorite tv show?

id say favorite of recent would be big little lies

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

i don’t know i guess it depends on the situation. i find myself agreeing to do things for strangers for some reason like one time i took an acting workshop and i literally drove three people home afterwards even though they didnt live anywhere near me and i didnt know them at all lkjsf

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

i dont drink much else but water usually lol. i like cold brew coffee and iced tea too. and lemon ginger tea. alcohol-wise i love gin and tonics, red wine, and old-fashioneds

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no but i said that the time before too LMAO

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

im not sure. i’ve felt really strong feelings for people in the past but i don’t think it’s ever been mutual so i guess not

Baneberries: Favorite song?

god i don’t know if i can do a favorite of all time. i recently played this video game Submerged and it was a really cleansing and wholesome time and I’ve been listening to the orchestral score of that a lot since. any lana del rey song, get free - major lazer hits me in my toner tbh, the jazz standard stardust - there are so many versions i adore idk its too hard to pick ill just end up listing my whole spotify soon i dont really have all time favorites i just go thru waves Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my mum runs a childcare business, my nan works at a post office, my brother is an IT guy my sister in law is a hairdresser and i have two young nieces who are in 1st and 2nd grade. they all live in my hometown which is kinda far from me. my dad passed away a few years ago but he owned a flower farm. my parents separated when i was in 2nd grade but i spent every holidays with my dad. i have looooooots of cousins lol

Beebalm: do you have a best friend? Who is it?

i dont really do the hierarchy thing ! but i have a few. my friends jess and rach from here are my fave people ever and literally make me cry with laughter when we all hang out and my friend meg who i’ve known since 8th grade is my vegan salad club soul sister and i love her to death

Bellflower: favorite animal

dogs and toucans ! lov birbs

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night!

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

that i dont understand how i didnt get the maternal gene when my mum literally looks after children for a living slkjsdf. im not opposed to having one someday but not for a while and i think id honestly be content either way

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

small spaces/being trapped which i dont know? ive just always had some level of claustrophobia i dont know where it came from

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

probably stressed LMAO. idk hanging out with loved ones eating good food trying to do a bunch of things i’ve always wanted to do

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

in a committed relationship with a body pillow and my vibrator

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when i can speak openly and be vulnerable comfortably. when people tell me they care about me and value my presence

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

2x each ear and one cartilage

California Poppy: Height?

5′6

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

a cute grey nightgown lol *+*

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

im sure i did when i was younger but now light kind of bothers me when im trying to sleep

Chrysanthemum: who was the last person you kissed?

my friend when we were drunk

Cock’s Comb: favorite font?

i dont think i really have one lol

Columbine: Are you tired?

im kinda like comfy sleepy. its pouring rain and a cool breeze is coming through my window and im really cozy so its just like. nice.

Coneflower: Dream job?

scriptwriter/director

Crane’s-bill: Introvert or extrovert?

im an introvert

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

im fiercely loyal to those i love.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

scorpio babeeeeey

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

hmm. in what scheme lol. of the world? probably not yet but we’re working on it.

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

idk if its an accomplishment but my travels are probably the highlight of my life to me. im kind of always fearless when i travel lol and i love that for me

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i dont know. i like to think im good at talking people through things and being empathetic and giving advice. i try my best to be there for people

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

letting things go. not bottling things up.

Freesia: what are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i finished school for the semester ! i started a painting! i saw two cool theatre shows.

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

actually pretty good!

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

not really but i’m starting to see the potential in the future a lot more. i tend to get really stuck and struggle to see beyond my current situation but i’m trying to look forward and realise that things are going to get a lot better with time

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

direct a short film i’m happy with, write more, travel overseas, cultivate a close group of friends here, go back to singing lessons.

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

watching youtube videos ! jenna and julien and remi cruz are my favorites they just make me feel so positive. listening to podcasts especially my dad wrote a porno because even if im in the worst mood ill literally be sobbing with laughter. listening to music and playing mindless games on my phone! watching movies and tv shows. getting out of the house and going to a cafe/wandering around the mall. going to the movie theatre. reading !

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i use my words a lot of the time. if i really care about someone i’ll talk to them and be there for them.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im proud of my strength and my unwavering knowledge of what i deserve. im proud of my friends and my family and everyone in my life.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day?

waking up and taking a dog for a walk having coffee and brunch with a close friend doing something fun like rock climbing or ice skating or going on a hike then going to see a show and going home to watch movies or play video games or play card games

Hyacinth: what do you like to do in your free time?

read, watch movies, exercise, talk to friends, write

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Jess and Rach i met on here like ??? i cant remember when ?? 2012 ?? 2011? then we finally met in person in 2015 and now i swear i see them more often than i see friends i live in the same place as. my best friend from high school i met in 8th grade so 2007??

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

my best friends. my sister in law.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

idk its kinda weird to count lol

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

hmm. this random lady in a mall once told me i can pull off red lipstick better than anyone shes ever seen before shhhhwooooosh. some of the things people have said about my fics literally makes me want to cry. one of my professors last year wrote a really lovely recommendation letter for me and told me i was fucking awesome and was going to do great things.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

She’s Trying. idk i struggle sometimes but at my core im proud of myself and i know my worth

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

My resilience and passion and empathy.

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

that i lose sight of what i want and how to get it. that i shut people out and am sometimes so scarily independent that it tips and turns me lonely.

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

visit my nans on the weekend and play video games. go to the beach. read !!! write.

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my best friend had the same name as me and we’d play bratz and she had a pool so it was lit now she lives a few houses down from where my mum lives and has a child and we havent really spoken since like 9th grade lol slfj

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

not making it back in time for my dads funeral

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

a lot of the time im self assured enough to not feel guilt over things i know aren’t my fault or situations where im not in the wrong. i never want people to be unhappy or struggle even if they probably dont deserve my sympathy though so i get mixed feelings there.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it?

i grew up on a coastal beach town. a small sleepy lil bay. it’s super pretty and idyllic and gorgeous but living there grew a bit monotonous tbh im not a small town person. visiting is lovely though. my nan literally lived basically on the beach when i was growing up youd just like roll down a hill and be on the sand. i loved it so much

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had a few different ones. i usually had purple walls ! and id decorate it with random things i was interested in and had books everywhere

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

i mean not a whole lot LOL high school kinda sucked. i did really well at school and i had some good friends! it wasnt the worst but i was also a closeted gay and didnt know who tf i was so there was some struggles around that.

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom?

shes generous and selfless and kind. she’s had a bit of a rough life but she’s strong.

Onions: Tell about your dad

i love that this q is ‘onions’ mood. our relationship was ,,, turbulent. i have some really great memories with him and visiting was honestly good a lot of the time when i was growing up! we’d play pool and id help them with the flowers and we’d go out boating and swimming and bowling and do lots of fun stuff but he was also an alcoholic and gradually got worse as i got older and he was really intimidating and could be really hot and cold and had really unrealistic expectations.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents

i was really close with my grandmother on my dads side she gave me my passion for reading and writing !! when i was really young i would sit in her lap and she would read me stories and then when i got older i started reading the stories to her we were super close she passed away when i was in 6th grade and it was really sad i loved her. my grandpa on my mums side taught me how to play pool !! he used to run the pool club where i’d compete and he was just a nice guy he passed away a few years ago. and my nan on my mums side is an icon i love hanging out with her i grew up spending almost every weekend at her house playing video games she always has all the newest consoles and video games for all of her grandchildren lol we go for walks on the beach and shes awesome one time she came to pick me up from school blasting low by flo rida we stan

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

hmm my 16th maybe ! that was when i was in the US and i remember having cheer practice and my host mom brought cake in and it was just really nice. idk why my 10th birthday is so memorable to me but i had a lit bday party and i remember so much about it lol?

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a barista!

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

i dont know if i have an idea on how i hope to meet my future partner its not something i plan or have a preference for. ive met most of my closest friends online and w being gay *+* lol itll prob be through online im guessing.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

physically? poorly LOL im such a baby if im in pain in any way.

Pink: where is home?

idk. i dont know if i have one just yet tbh. we’ll find it !

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, whats is one thing you would stop/change?

hmm i try to live without ragrets. there are a few situations id like to go into either wiser or not at all though if im being hoe nest.

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

hmm. there are a few actresses/celebs i look up to ! all these qs are turning my brain into goo LMAO i cant think

Rhododendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i heard once that someone related to my great grandfather had some kind of connection to french royalty ?? idk how true that was but i was waiting for my princess diaries moment for a while there

Ricinus: who’s the most important in your life?

me bitch

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

rain/thunder

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

to read fic until im too sleepy to keep my eyes open then drift off *+*

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

depends on the situation. i wouldn’t say easy but i can speak and explain myself well because I spend soo much time thinking about things lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

my mum

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 9 hrs lol

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

coffee

Touch-me-not: how do you feel about your current job?

that i need one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

black jeans

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

this and that. packing to go away

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? what were they called?

lol none really. i read a few at the beginning of the year but nothing lately. ive read innumerable fic tho does that count

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

happier ! growing ! loved. i want to feel accomplished with what i created during the school year, fulfilled. surrounded by people with pure intentions. hopefully just overseas somewhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

whY is this a question ???????????????????

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself

i used to be a fitness instructor

okay that was a lot more questions than i thought it was LMAO fuck

thank you for the entertainment that was fun ! xx

#omfg im dead i didnt think there were that many #long post #read more #Anonymous

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tripping-on-assid · 7 years ago

Text

4218

923pm

It’s been a while. So for that, there is quite a lot to catch up on. However, like always, I’ll just write until I don’t want to anymore. Don’t care for spelling, grammar, correct sentence phrasing, any of that, just my thoughts.

I want to start off by saying that while im writing this I took about half/quarter of a tab about 45 min ago. Just for the concentration. Also, so I could probably get super intense and “deep” with what I write. Im also listening to Periphery in the background and it’s nice. The amount of acid I took wasnt much...at most it was 50ugs. I used the rest of it from microdosing. Hell, I might not even feel it since I microdosed today lmao. Nonetheless, placebo never hurt anybody right? lol. And if the acid doesnt work I got some coffee

Since I last posted, back in November, shit went FUCKING DOWNNN. Since November, Royce and my mom split, we got a new house, quit my job at panera and I failed 3/4ths of my classes that semester. Royce left because of some selfish reason of how it was “god’s plan” for him to turn over houses, and my mom didnt want to deal with that so she left his ass. I got pretty fucking sad over failing my classes, as you could see I was ranting and raving how much I despised college back in November but reality got kicked into gear when I failed. Kinda sucks. My mindset was ridiculous back then, and it still is now, however back then, it was intimately superficial. However, the deeper I got with philosophy and spirituality and all that shit, I kinda wanted to step up my game.

Weird shit can happen to you, and weird thoughts come into play when you’re naive. And like, Im still 19. Im not granted with all this wisdom but I respect and value education. Knowledge. Discomfort. You see, how amazing would it be to just, trip on shrooms or L every few weeks, thinking about your life and thinking about all the crazy questions in life and actually have it set. How amazing would it be to smoke weed and do the same thing, everyday? Seems great, however, that isnt the best way to live. I lived it and honestly im still kinda living it. I quit working so the only obligation really I have is school and thats every other day. Living thankfully from my tax return and financial aid reimbursement. But even that is spent on shit like weed, which I blow through pretty quick.

I italicized the word discomfort from the last paragraph because a lot of my role models talk about that, PsychedSubstance, and especially Jordan Peterson have spread that message. And like, that message is honestly everywhere “no pain, no gain” “smooth sails dont make good sailors(something like that)”, I mean, it’s everywhere. But, I took a good look into it and kinda really get the meaning of it. That’s what I like to do, I like to grab ideas by the crouch and examine tf outta them. Nonetheless, the discomfort idea is pretty solid. Jordan Peterson elaborates on the synonym of suffering though.

+Trip report: I think I kinda am feeling it, very slight visual distortions and lighting intensity.

Anyways! Thats another thing Id like to talk about, psychedelics. I mean, when do i not, but, I told myself and my girlfriend (we’re still together and we’re going pretty good! In fact we’ve gotten much much closer since November) that I would take a break from psychedelics after I had a 5g shroom trip that was wayyyy too intense for me. I said I wouldn’t do hallucinogens until april 8th, and guess what? I didnt fall through. Because guess what? It isnt april 8th yet. In fact I’ve microdosed twice. Sooooo, I broke that promise. And that brings in a problem, who do i go to when I cant tell my girlfriend stuff? Why cant i? Why are there some things that I should keep private and why am i keeping this a secret? I dont know but it feels much better to type this out than to live without it being somewhere. So youre probably thinking how I couldnt keep my word, well let me tell you a story and end with a self analysis.

So about a week ago I got back into town from visiting the day with my grandmother/aunt/cousin/mother for my grandmother’s birthday bash. I was pretty bummed I had to go (even though i had a pretty good time there, we played scategories, it was fun) because i was missing emo night in daytona! Well, I got back into town enough to see half of it and my friend Mashal ( i bought L off of him before, me and him are pretty good acquaintances) asked me if i wanted a tab. I was like “aw hell yeah but I dont have any $” and he was like “its fine bro here you go enjoy”

So right when i got it i was ecstatic. It’s like i couldnt wait until april 8th. It was in my hand, I couldve tripped that night, but i knew i had a promise to keep. A promise id eventually break but, it gave me so much more passion in life. The hobby of reading about trip reports, about being able to trip again, it was just. So.Fucking.Interesting. like honestly, tripping is so profound. I mean hell, Im on a little bit of acid rn.

And that leads me to the analysis and honestly I dont know if thats good or bad. I dont know what to think about that. Because i know my attitude shifted considerably from no desire to trip to wanting to trip hella bad. Getting back into trip reports, reading about different combos with weed and other substances. I missed it. And honestly, that kind of worries me a bit. Because my passion is what? Learning about and doing psychedelics?

It’s so weird because I tripped a lot last winter, once every few weeks, if not every one to two weeks. And even though it was so profound, I got HPPD. And i think that really fucked with my brain. Theres this fog i get in my head, foggy/cloudy mindset. Where focusing, thinking, talking, doing stuff is a bit more...complex than it is usually. I think i suffered a bit of disassociation too. I would constantly think I wasnt myself, that maybe I was just some vessel, or some robot just doing mundane tasks. It was the weirdest feeling ever. However, I was going through a lot like...I was pretty fucking sad. So HPPD with depression wasnt the best. I was sad I was moving, I was sad my parents broke up, and I was especially sad over failing my classes, and...i also got into two car crashes, both within a month. So, I felt like doodoo. But which came first? the chicken or the egg? Did i get sad because of the psychedlics and then had a crash or did i have a crash and then get super sad? either way, i was a mess. And leaving psychedelics out was uncomfortable because I remember doing shrooms once because I had problems to fix. But my mood and my mind couldnt handle psychedelics. And I dismissed them, but after Mashal gave me that tab, I felt the same passion I had last winter over psychedelics again. And I was just so happy that I would trip again soon.

So that happened. In fact, April 7th is when im planning on tripping, Kyle (ex panera employee also Journeys best friend...crazy!) is planning on coming over to journeys and we gonna trip, smoke weed, and chill and I told him i wanted to go see nature and stuff. Im also on a break from weed so when I do smoke on saturday, my tolerance will be 0 and I will have an intense af experience. Im ready.

Also, this is my like, 3rd night at my mom’s house, and 1st night with the computer back. So maybe ill hit you guys up later with maybe something more thought out, but this is my entry! till next time

#diary

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