#//guess who forgot they had stuff in their inbox again

[swanimagines]

Hi :)

I just want to say that I love your work and am so sorry about your mental health (I can sympathise❤️). I know it is much, much easier said than done, but please try and give yourself as much grace as you can - with both writing and life.

With writing, it is ok to fail with it, and I know you want to beat yourself up with it - but experimentation is where you can find things about your style you'd never know.

I'm sorry if I come across as preachy at all, but I wish you well and, once again, adore your work ❤️❤️

I'm so sorry it took this long to reply, I was at my mum's and didn't really check Tumblr during staying there.

But thank you for your comforting words, I'm trying not to beat myself up over not being able to write right now. I have a lot going on irl*, so I guess that also affects my mood and why I feel so stressed about this. Usually, writing is my outlet for these situations, when I'm stressed and have my head full of thoughts, writing makes me calm down. But now I just can't get anything out, no matter what or how I try. I got a suggestion to clear out my inbox a while ago when I last made a post about this, but the problem isn't my requests, I have LOADS of ideas for my requests, and I'm excited to write them, but I just can't get it written the way I wanna get it written. I'm advised to write my own ideas. They have the same problem as my requests. I'm advised to write whatever I can think of. The moment I try, my head just empties itself.

"Hmm what to write, can't think of anything, well if I force myself to write: Horses are green and they eat marshmallows. Uh. I don't know, I just can't think of anything sensible. Even writing this is kinda a struggle because I just? Can't write the way I'd want to, these aren't the thoughts I'd want to write but I already forgot what I was going to write, I thought of that like 10 seconds ago and already forgot. And not to mention that writing this is boring af. I'd much rather to clean a bathroom, bleh."

And it goes on and on and on like that.

*Looooong story and I don't have patience to write it all especially when most of it irritates me a lot anyway, let's just say I was promised something a year ago to happen soon after London but I've had to wait til now because of stuff not dependant on me (the person who would grant me a permission was on a sick leave til July and insists on seeing me on 5th of November before giving the permission and I want to strangle her for that, because I've been forced to wait for 6 extra months because of her sick leave), now it's finally happening next week but I'm still kinda furious about it because a lot of things have been ruined/delayed/cancelled because of it being so late, and I'm terrified this will negatively affect next March. It wouldn't affect it if it happened when I was promised it will happen, but unless some stuff will happen instead attached to this thing that's happening, I'm forced to change my plans for March a quite a bit (mainly meaning I wouldn't be able to get many photo OPs and would have to choose the most important people I want to get a photo OP with, and whose autographs I want) and it would crush me because it's my last convention ever with Shadow and Bone cast and I'll be mopey after that anyway, so a possibility that I may not be able to gather as many memories as I intended at first, and it's because THINGS DON'T WORK like they should and I'm forced to pay for shit service like this... yeah. I'm sure you understand why it's extremely annoying and unfair.

About the "some stuff", I'm HIGHLY doubtful about it because basically it'd mean a bunch of extra money for me to spend every month and I just can't believe that's possible before the institute who's paying confirms it. Everyone around me says it's true and my calculations are 100% correct etc, but like? I just can't believe that before they themselves confirm it. If that's indeed true, then everything is fine and I'll forgive them all their sins because I'd be able to buy more than what my initial plans included. But again, I highly HIGHLY doubt that because that just can't be true unless I'm living in some kind of fever dream, not with this government 😅

[jaembun]

i can’t get over you.

you’re not together, and you never check your inbox. he carries on anyway ！⠀⸻⠀lee donghyuck x gnr ⠀ angst (?) fwb au voicemail format ⠀ cw mentions of drinking & vomiting suggestive (ish) ⠀ wc 1.6k ⠀ now playing . . ☆

생각⠀writing a whole ex fwbs smau aint enough nooo i gotta write ts too 🤦‍♂️

⠀☆⠀00:12 AM

wow. that was—great. i had a good time, and i hope you did too. i think your phone’s dead, because you were all over chenle asking to borrow his, so maybe you’ll only hear this in the morning.  [he laughs]  i hope the hangover isn’t too awful tomorrow. my hip doesn’t hurt too bad from whacking it on that counter, in case you were wondering. i didn’t know you were gonna lift me like that, that was crazy! mark gave me a weird look when i came back to the others, but he always looks like that after a few shots—like he’s just sucked on a lemon. anyway, goodnight. get back to me soon, yeah? maybe we could do that again—it doesn’t have to be serious, no labels or anything. just a bit of fun between friends.

⠀☆⠀11:35 PM

[whispering]  my phone’s the one nearly dead this time. eight percent, so i gotta make it quick. tonight was.. really nice. thanks again. the takeout was really cool of you too, and i’ll pay you back when i get in. i’m talking so quiet ‘cause im in an uber, and i think i just saw the driver giving me a dirty look through the mirror. he has his own playlist on—i mean, unless there’s a new radio station called ‘on the grind’ with two fire emojis and, like, the one of the arm flexing? it’s all been pretty bad stuff so far, but there was this one song, and—it kinda reminded me of you, a bit.  [a pause, before he brushes over it]  i tried to shazam it because i’d look weird leaning over the console to see what it was called, but it was over by then. bummer! we’re coming up on my street now, though, and i’m on three percent now, so i’ll go. see you soon?

⠀☆⠀09:47 PM

injunnie asked me about that mark you left. i made up something about my kitchen cabinet door, but i know he didn’t really believe me. he had that look in his eye, you know? that one where it feels like he sees right through you. anyway.. maybe we should keep them somewhere less noticeable next time? we’re not—you know.

i’m going out with mark and chenle tonight. they’re doing a two-for-one on cocktails and there’s karaoke, so i think it’ll be fun. i probably won’t see it ‘til tomorrow, but call back when you hear this.  [he laughs]  or if i am still up and drunk when you call then you can sing me a lullaby, yeah?  [an awkward pause]  uh. i’ll just—talk to you later.

⠀☆⠀10:26 AM

[hesitant]  oh my god. i didn’t—sorry. i should’ve told you i had someone over. i completely forgot about the brunch thing, it’s my fault. kind of a dick move, too, i really am sorry. i don’t know how to.. i’ll buy you dinner, or something. to make it up to you.

[a prolonged pause]

[haltingly]  that—that was just a one-time thing, though. just.. just in case you were wondering. it won’t happen again. 

[another pause, and the sound of him shifting in his place]

so, um. yeah. i just wanted to apologise, ‘cause you were gone before i could get the chance. call me when you hear this? if you want to, that is.

⠀☆⠀00:03 AM

i guess.. i guess you’re busy, or something. sorry. i know it’s late. you’re probably asleep. or working? renjun told me you’re on night shifts now.. did it slip your mind with me? or maybe you’ve told me already, i don’t know. i think my memory’s been getting worse lately.  [a scoffed laugh]  fuck, maybe you’re with—you know. someone else? that’d be fine, obviously, i know we’re not.. yeah. hell, i was the one who said we weren’t gonna be exclusive.

[a pause]

i haven’t been, um. seeing anyone else, though. not since that last time. it’s just you. but if you were, then.. anyway. i heard jeno tell you his friend was single the other day. that jaemin guy? and that restaurant downtown would be nice for a night out, tonight. they do that salad you like, and—and the side dishes. 

[a second pause. he takes a breath in]

i think.. i think i need a drink. text me once you listen to this?

⠀☆⠀11:58 PM

[sounding a little breathless]  hi! i think im going to fill your inbox up at this point. maybe the reception’s bad in the taxi. but anyway—i had fun tonight. again. i.. i missed you, you know?  [a giggle]  wow, i think i feel a little light-headed. in a good way, obviously. i almost forgot what it was like with you. oh! and the actual reason i called—you left your hoodie here. better come grab it soon, or i’ll have it for myself. you can never have too many clothes.  [he stops for a moment]  does that sound too.. ah, nevermind. i hope you get home alright. talk to you tomorrow, baby.

⠀☆⠀10:49 PM

renjun asked me what we were doing. i knew he probably knew—or at least, like, had an idea of what was going on—but it still surprised me. nearly choked on my drink when he sprung it on me out of nowhere. i thought he just wanted to get lunch. i told him the truth—that we’re just.. messing around. he’s not gonna tell any of the others, so don’t worry. he thought—  [a stilted laugh]  he thought that we were together. but.. well. we’re not, obviously.

[a pause. he mumbles something to himself, cuts himself off, then tries again]

did jeno give you jaemin’s number? he had that gross grin on his face the other night, that same one he did when he kept trying to set chenle up on a blind date. and you never did tell me if you were out with him the other night. not that it, like, matters. but still.

[a second, longer pause]

anyway. i think i’m gonna go to bed. can we get dinner soon? i’ll pay.

⠀☆⠀11:18 PM

hey.  [a small pause]  i don’t know why i’m calling, really. i’m just at my apartment. watching reruns and drinking through that wine chenle gave me—which is awful, by the way. i think he was just trying to get it out of his fridge by offloading it onto me.

that movie you told me you watched all the time back in uni was on earlier. i would’ve called then, but my phone was dead, so i kept it on. it was pretty good, actually. kinda.. sappy. but in a good way. romantic, i don’t know. romcoms have never really been my thing, but i know they’re yours, so.. yeah.  [a tired laugh, and a pause. the tv is faintly audible in the background]  i didn’t know i could get wine tipsy this early. maybe that’s why i called out of the blue? ah, i don’t know. i’ll go now, though—this episode’s just starting to get interesting. let’s talk later.

⠀☆⠀01:21 AM

[he’s yelling, almost, struggling to be heard over the beat of the song blasting through the speakers]  yah, why did you dip? i was—i was looking forward to tonight, you know. jeno is boring, and mark is a lightweight, and jisung steps on my feet when we dance. it would’ve been way better with you here. and i miss you, baby. they need to fire the DJ here, because they’re seriously awful. i might just ditch the rest and come find you instead.

[he stops, considering it]

actually.. yeah. you won’t mind, will you? yah, pick up, c’mon. call me back, ‘cause i’m on my way to your apartment. i’ll buy a bottle of malibu on the way so it won’t taste as awful when we throw it up later, and you can set up that speaker chenle got you last year, because i know you probably still have it stuffed in a closet somewhere.  [his voice returns to normal volume, and the music is abruptly significantly quieter]  get your dancing shoes on, baby. and.. take your shirt off?  [he giggles, and his laughter interrupts his goodbye]  i’ll be there soon!

⠀☆⠀02:17 AM

fuck. can’t you just—can you pick up? please? i need it, i need you to hear this. i feel like i’m going insane, it’s fucked up.  [a pause, and a slightly shaky breath]  why did i say that? why did i say no labels? fucking.. fucking mark and shots and that bruise from that fucking counter. i’ve drank too much, and i hope i forget i’ve said this in the morning, but i—i need to know. it’s just you for me. that time with that guy was stupid, and i should’ve kicked him out as soon as i woke up, but i knew about brunch and i knew you’d be coming over and i was feeling petty so i just thought.. i thought you’d get jealous, i don’t know. it was stupid. i’m sorry for lying, baby. i didn’t mean to. is it—is it just me for you too? did you save jaemin’s number? did you text him? please tell me you didn’t. he doesn’t know anything about you, not like i do. i still have your hoodie, and renjun thinks i need to get my shit together, and chenle nearly threw up on my shoes on the way out the bar, and i just.. i want you. i want you so bad, it’s killing me.

[a long pause. his mumbling is inaudible]

call me back when you hear this.

[wutheringskies]

"Well, personally, I don't think MDZS characters are on the spectrum?"

oh. not even Lan Zhan? (or Song Lan?) I'm autistic and it's genuinely impossible for me to not read him that way. Especially the part where your personal morals clash with the chaos and messiness of the outside world. He's my favorite because I felt his journey and growth as a character deep in my soul. Idk about other autistic people but to me it was always the most painful thing: holding on to my values while trying to be more flexible and not attacking people or cutting them off for minor offenses. Over the course of the story,Lan Zhan manages to mature,understand Wei Ying better,and become more flexible without becoming disillusioned or passive,so he's really an ideal in that sense.

Sorry,I ranted too much again

"No wonder why Jiang Yanli, though a little more aware due to her sex and standing, gives the same vibes? like a sort of lost, good, kind vibe?"

Yes! yes! Those are exactly the vibes. I was just joking to someone a while ago that both Lan Zhan and Wei Ying have been raised by the exact same older sibling figure. Honesly that puts Yanli and Xichen's achievements in perspective,cause they both encouraged or allowed their younger siblings to be idealistic and righteous,instead of stifling those impulses,which is a choice and a great thing.

And yes,unlike Lan Xichen,Jiang Yanli is that passive mostly because of her status and sex. And because of being traumatized by a horrible abusive narc mom.

They should have been allowed to have like a soup and flute club together every sunday or something. The friendship would have done them good. (Maybe let Wen Ning join too)

Anyway,thank you for replying! It was fun talking to you!

Hey! I'm really sorry for not seeing this before. I forgot to open my inbox.

Yes, I personally do not perceive MDZS characters on the spectrum. There are two reasons for this - firstly, Lan Zhan's character is very well written. Personally, I did not feel the need to enhance him. I think you can call me a bit of 'canon purist,' that is, I derive most pleasure from improving my understanding of a literary work to be as close as possible to authorial intent (I am of course, open to divergences, enhancements, and all sorts of stuff. But if we go by my 'default' setting, it is this.)

Secondly, I would count as a neurotypical person. I think you'd agree that in many fandoms, the 'quiet' or 'just a little bit weird' person, as well as the cheery, energetic person are often immediately headcanonned as neurodivergent. Thus, I guess I felt like doing so to Lan Zhan etc might be me leaning heavily into stereotypes! In my personal experience, my close cousins - though diagnosed similarly on the spectrum, had extremely varying thinking processes.

However, it is enlightening to know more about why you characterized him as such - especially about becoming more comfortable in his skin. Lan Zhan is also my favourite character, though for different reasons. I can relate to his desire to perform each task with excellence, preference for quietude, and struggle with his dominant orientation. How he tried his hardest to be a liberal, before becoming radicalized. The struggle of being someone who respects traditional and societal values, but has his own strong personal ideals, morality and desires that cannot co-exist with them :( It's tragic how he wished to protect the one he loved, tried but wasn't good at expressing himself, wasn't powerful enough to guarantee peace, wasn't politically smart enough to change things, wasn't strong enough to fight the whole world for him, and eventually, he was even unwanted by his lover, who was hurt by him. Thus, exiled by love and punished by his clan, he really had nothing to look forward to. Yet, he choose to rise up, day after day and make the differences he could make.

I think his persistence and his healing is the most impressive thing about him for me. How he was inadequate but then, became someone who could protect Wei Ying.

There's no need to apologize! I quite love your takes and rants. (PS - please don't take my stating I am a canon purist as a form of discouraging thought. That is only for my personal satisfaction!)

I totally agree. I wish to add Xiao XIngchen to this club. In a highly tense political environment, these characters were adorably in need of some splash painting and crafts sessions. I'd love to put all of them together in some club in a Modern AU. Jiang Yanli will cook, Lan Xichen will paint and play sad, and funky melodies, Wen Ning will help and Xiao Xingchen will laugh at everything.

[orphicpoieses]

Life Lately

Hey there! It’s been a while since the last time I posted something.

Life was a little bit of a rollercoaster in the last few months but more on that later. If you wonder what happened to my inbox and tags: I simply forgot.

No, seriously, I have no view over the activities on here since last year summer, I guess. So I will just drop all the asks and start new.

If you already know me: welcome back to my small blog. If you don’t know who I am:

Hi. My name is Mimi. I am an aspiring writer for (dark) fantasy series and pen and paper games. Normally, I didn’t do much besides talking about my writing, but since I shifted in my day to day life to a more and more challenging and exciting schedule, I will probably turn this blog into a life diaries or something similar.

To give you a short overview over the recent events in my life, I will briefly go over them:

I had quite a pause on Project Rosary, but started again a few weeks ago. There is not much to say about this project, besides that I somehow got to meet some of my future beta readers? I now have a list for all of those people (a total list of 5 - perhaps more). I haven’t even finished draft one… I don’t know if this is a good thing or not xD

I started programming my Discord bot again! Kupla will have even more features in the future, which are currently only accessible for my close friends (Guild ID is set to our main server), but maybe, it will be available for more people in the future.

University is going quite well. I have gained a lot of new friends over the past year. I would even go over to saying I know so many people right now that I am literally overwhelmed by it to a certain point. Nevertheless, I never want to miss any one of them. Especially that one friend I am happy to call my boyfriend 💕

To be honest with you, I started writing several life updates posts but I never posted any of them. Even though so much happened in the last year and even though I could tell you so many things about all these events (organizing a huge party, being part of an official conference, publishing my first self-designed and co-written thing, new relationships, being in an official political position at university and so on and so forth), I am not sure what to write.

I don’t know if anything of this is interesting for you, since I linger in the writeblr part of tumblr.

Nothing - at least the 95% of the long list of things - is not writing related and I haven’t got the time to actually write on my own projects, even though I set myself an unofficial deadline to be done with draft 1.

Most of my time at the moment is consumed by university work and my mental health.

The truth is: my mental health is struggling at the moment to a point where my boyfriend and I agreed on changing our both schedules around, trying to become healthier in our sleep cycle, activities and overall mindset. He is way more mentally stable than I am, which is good for someone who is constantly overthinking stuff but also sometimes very frustrating.

My goal to change my daily routine is one of the most important things at the moment and by far the most present topic in my life.

I understand that this is not the content you hoped for when you saw my blog in the first place. I mean, I am originally a writing blog and people subscribe for a reason: to see exactly the content they hope to see. But at the moment, this blog is more a personal diary, instead of a blog about my projects, doing fun stuff like tag games and shoutouts.

Yes, I still love writing. Yes, I am still going to drop content about writing in the future. But this is not the only content anymore for me.

I would go on and say “drop me in the comments if you are interested in following this new journey” but obviously I will find out over interaction and follower counts.

Perhaps, I will get active again, when I have more to tell than “yay, I worked on my project for two hours but unfortunately I cannot tell you what I exactly did because I cannot risk getting rejected by an agent because I told too much”. Because my writing project is exactly that: a secret so I have a chance to get published in Germany.

Anyway, I hope I didn’t bore you to death with my little life update or scared you away that my content will be changing if I am active again.

I hope to see you soon in either the comments, reblogs or in my inbox and I wish you a very nice day.

Group hug! 💕

Let me tag you for visibility (tell me if you don’t want that in the future!)

@thetruearchmagos @enchanted-lightning-aes @yourfriendlywriter @365runesofthesystem @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @mirrorthoughts @kaatiba

[sdr2lovemail]

I just recently rewatched the mugen train arc and fell in love with Enmu again! I forgot all about him when I saw the Hantengu clones...😳

If you write for kimetsu gakuen could I request just relationship stuff with gakuen Enmu with a really chill partner? They hardly bat an eye at all the weird stuff he does. They're also a photography teacher at kimetsu academy. Totally not like my oc 😋I hardly see writing about the kimetsu gakuen universe.

If you write this thank you so much!

Kimetsu Gakuen Enmu x (GN) Reader

Synopsis: General dating scenarios with Enmu!

Notes: Non consensual picture taking, Enmu is his own warning. Gakuen Enmu is so silly and strange. I hope we see more of him in the spinoff manga. I'm trying out a new mix of headcanons and little scenarios for some requests.

Inbox is open!

●Your first meeting was downright creepy. Despite the rocky start, you continued to talk to the man against your better judgment and warnings from friends and family. 

●Enmu himself didn’t know why he was so entrapped with you. His whole life, he only cared about a few things: photography, dreams, and trains. Maybe it started as a simple curiosity that turned into infatuation.

Sitting on a bench at the station, you waited for the train. You looked up from your phone’s screen upon seeing the flash of a camera. Standing uncomfortably close was a man with an eerie smile. He was dressed formally and had square tattoos on his cheeks. He didn’t say anything, only looking between you and the camera.

“Did- Did you just take my picture?” You looked at him with a questioning gaze, leaning away as he approached.

The man giggled. “Oh no. I was taking photos of the train. You just happened to get in the way.” He was lying, not even trying to hide that he had taken another photo.

“Oh, well, I wish you would’ve asked me first.” You shrugged. This city, especially the school you worked at, was full of strange characters. One more wouldn’t be much of a difference. You’ve heard stories about a man who stalks around train stations; never did you think you’d actually meet him.

With a sigh, the man sits down on the bench. “Isn’t this station just lovely? It’s so fancy and clean. Newer train models come through here as well!” He was ignoring anything you said, opting to ramble on. 

You hum, taking a moment to think about his question. “I guess I never thought about it. It is a pretty nice station.”

He lets out another airy laugh as a deep blush coats his cheeks. He felt spurred on by your laidback personality. Offering you a handshake, he introduces himself. “I’m Enmu Tamio. Say, do you take this line often?” 

Accepting his handshake, you introduce yourself as well. “Yeah, this route takes me to my job. I’m a photography teacher at a nearby school.” The man next to you smirks. He’d have to come by this station more often.

Enmu leaps up with a joyous grin, stepping in front of you. “You enjoy photography as well? How wonderful!” His fingers idly fiddling with the buttons of his camera. He wanted to get to know you better. To know your likes, dislikes, what you do for fun, everything. Enmu had never felt this way about another person; he was simply excited.

“Perhaps you’d be interested in my train lovers club. We specialize in photographing the rails.” Enmu hands you his business card with a phone number on it.

Soon, a train pulls into the station, and Enmu visibly perks up. “It was wonderful talking with you; we should do it again sometime. Can you hold this for me?” He shoves something into your hands before running into the train with a wide smile. Stopping at a window, he takes the time to wave goodbye. Looking down at what he pushed into your hands, it was a leather belt.

●Once the two of you start dating, you’re the one Enmu calls when he gets arrested. His club members were thankful they weren’t the ones getting called anymore. Not that they ever answered.

The police officer guides you to a holding cell, navigating with ease. Like they had done it many times before. Once the door slides open, Enmu is already by the door and clinging to your arm.

“My love, you came in record time. Always so quick to my aid, never asking questions.” Enmu sighed as he rubbed his cheek into your sleeve.

With a bleak look, the officer hands Enmu his camera back. “Please, keep your clothes on next time. We can’t keep doing this.”

Enmu barely pays the officer any mind as he continues to fawn over you, not even looking at them as he snatches his camera. “I’ll try my best. Come, my love. I must show you the pictures I got before I was detained.” 

●On the topic of the members, they often try to ask you to reel Enmu in when he’s acting out in public. Whether he’ll be trying to nap in the luggage compartment or taking his pants off, they’ll look to you for help. However, he might start taking his clothes off faster when it comes to you.

●Enmu often asks his members to take candid pictures of you; the club members attend a university near the school where you teach, so it would be easy for them to snap some photos. They decline because they’re railroad fans, not stalkers. That’s fine with him. He takes enough pictures to last a lifetime.

●Along with his photography, Enmu likes to scrapbook. Though his books are pretty barebones, he feels like too many decorations will take away from the beauty of the pictures. He has many scrapbooks dedicated to you with different types of photos. Ones from dates, ones you’re aware of, ones you’re not. Enmu just loves to flip through them. 

●Enmu would love to go on photography dates with you. While trains are his passion, he’ll take you to many scenic places out of the city. 

●More often than not, you’ll have to pull Enmu back to reality. He struggles with differentiating his dreams from reality; he’ll look for you to help ground him. However, there are also times when he prefers to be off in his own world, blankly staring off as he’s curled up against you or in bed.

●He will tell you about every dream he can remember, often calling you first thing in the morning so he doesn’t forget any details. When you’re unavailable for his lengthy calls, he writes his dreams down in a journal so he can tell you all about them next time you’re available.

[acoldsovereign]

FOR THE MAN WHO WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVES.

// @scarlxtleaves / @thuganomxcs / @peoplcshope

---

{{ Happy Birthday, you fuckin' fucker! (I say this with love). I remember when I first came to the DBZ RPC months ago and I was so shy I didn't know how to communicate properly. People scared me. Following people scared me. People following me back scared me. I was freakin' scared of EVERYTHING. I even unfollowed a person I followed (and then followed them back when they checked in with me) because I realized how bad that looked/how problematic it could be if I didn't address it. I felt so bad, and I still do sometimes. I'm so glad that mutual was understanding and patient with me, aaaaaaaa. Needless to say, ya girl had SO many issues in the beginning. I was a HOT MESS. Hell, I didn't even have all of my muse info up but you didn't give a shit about none of that. You just took one look at my blog, saw 'despot of the universe' on my header and said 'LET IT RIP' like Beyblade. DUDE, you were ballsy as fuck and I'm so glad for that! You gave me my first ever starter here!!! THAT made me remember you! Everytime I logged in, it was to respond to our Future Gohan/Maiz fight thread. (I'm actually looking for it now because that's gonna be something I continue after I reply to someone else first 👀). You're one of the first people I ever plotted with too, even if that intimidated me a little. I mean, granted it was after you gave me the starter because I was freaking worried about everything, which was why I was all over your inbox, "okay, so she can do this and that...", "i have no problem with them having this sort of dynamic", etc. Gosh, you were overwhelmingly sweet and kind to me and I appreciate that. I know this is not something I should apologize for, but I'm still sorry that I scared you slightly when I changed my username to acoldsovereign from maizthefemalesaiyan, and didn't tell you in advance. I didn't realize you wouldn't recognize me so I had to put the former name in my old promo post. YOU'RE why I did that. I didn't know what other accounts you had and I just wanted to let you know it was meeeeeeee! ;w; But then you forgot your password to the blog so we couldn't even communicate anyway! One thing I will say-- it is funny I recently posted about Toriyama and Future Trunks and what the latter means to me because guess what blog I found you on. Guess what reunited us. Yeah.

FUTURE TRUNKS.

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?????? That man is always doing something for me! You would've thought he was REAL. But anyway, it was so cool to have you back on my dash again! It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize who it was. I saw the name "Jay" on your promo post and it didn't cross my mind it was you, man. Not until I went down the blog and saw the writing style matched up. Remember how I just burst into your inbox and made some noise? And then you realized it was me? That shit was hilarious. We were so happy to see each other. Everything's been smooth sailing since then and we've created so many cursed memes, threads, jokes and storylines. Dude, we fuckin' made Rengakura. That little psychopath LOL. Well, moreso I made him but your response to that thread in particular made it so that he didn't come out any worse than he could've. Damn you for having Trunks make the right decision! (Again, I say this with love). At least in one verse, Trunks finally gets a happy-ish ending though. He lives with his mostly mellowed-out/former-tyrant for a wife and a pseudo-sane Saiyan-hybrid child on a spaceship, having space adventures. 🥺 Papa Trunks isn't something I knew I needed until I got it so thank you. I also did not know Maiz was actually capable of chilling the eff out-- THAT was a surprise to me. The fact that she's actually a decent mother is hilarious, considering all the fucked up stuff she's done before without blinking an eye. I also love how through our threads, you can see how she naturally came to care for him, even if she's sadistic and still messes with him from time to time. One of my favorites scenes with them unironically was when she offered to take Trunks to a tropical planet for his birthday. She was actually affectionate towards him the proper way more or less, but he didn't realize it because he was so used to her being busy/selfish/frosty/teasing. Bro thought he was dying. That was tragically sad yet funny all at once. I'd say more but this is already a lot and you already know how I feel about your Yusuke and our favorite assassin, Sanosuke.

Long story short- thank you for warmly welcoming me into this small, but chill RPC. I'll always love and appreciate you.

Happy birthday, Jaybird.

[illegalmushrooms]

shrooooms, the kids miss uu where art thou 😭

... hey!

(incoming yap session, beware)

This is a little awkward. I haven't touched my Tumblr in like, apparently three years. There's some questions in my inbox, but they're so old it feels a bit strange to answer them now, right? 😭

Anyway. It's nice to see you! Whoever you may be! (Are the kids OK?)

Last week, for god knows what reason, I re-donned my mushroom hat (humor me for a moment and imagine a Mario Toad-style monstrosity) and published a new (old) chapter of Don't Leave! (y'all remember that? Does anyone reading this right now remember or know who I am??).

Laying off the parentheses now--I explained in the chapter a bit of the future of the story and what was happening with me. Oh my gosh, is that a conveniently-placed link to the chapter down below?

As I mentioned somewhere in that conveniently-placed link, I'm mostly fine, and there's nothing else I have written for Don't Leave! so far.

Well...

Okay, so that's a complete and utter lie. I do have something written. But I'm afraid it's not very useful.

I actually wrote... a complete, very dramatic ending to the story. It's an interesting ending, to say the least, but of course, the story is nowhere near that point. I'd have to write another thirty-forty-who knows more chapters or something to even reach this supposed ending, and by then I might not even like the idea I have there.

I guess that's not relevant. I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that I never, ever, forgot about Don't Leave! I've thought about it a lot, even when I haven't been writing a single word. I've been reading every comment and message I received across the different platforms, and you know, smiling stupidly at my phone every time. I've totally missed the world of fanfiction! I've missed Bella, the ridiculous character I conjured up within the depths of pandemic-era isolation! I've missed sitting down at my laptop and tap-tapping away and sinking into this wonderful world Togashi made!

So here's what I'm going to say about the story. (This post just gets longer and longer, doesn't it? Sorry!)

As of right now, there is no next chapter.

I can't say when there might be a next chapter.

I can say that maybe, life-permitting, I'll post something in the fall, if I can squeeze in some time to rewatch HxH. I've just... forgotten a lot of the go story's intricacies that an author has to keep in mind to write a comprehensible fic.

That's what I have to say about Don't Leave! .

(and, to anyone who might be thinking of those other fics I wrote, which I highly doubt anyone is... I actually have a few chapters of them simmering in my docs somewhere. But I'm a bit embarrassed about it, so let's consider them dead for the moment, alright?)

Now that I've cleared that up, and some of my conscience along with it, I suppose I'll drop in a tiny life update for any curious souls. I've never disclosed much about myself and I'd like to consider myself awful cool and mysterious, but can I speed run certain vague life events from my past three years?

I... survived a car crash, travelled to new countries and places, moved, wrote a ton (fanfic and general fiction, all of it kind of ass), survived a fire, worked and toiled to the capitalist machine, had a couple mental breakdowns, conquered the mental health, lost it again, conquered again...

...and so on...

What's next for me?

I am hesitant of publishing anything else at the moment. I have a lot of fics I'd written just sitting in my files; everything from miscellaneous anime stuff to Harry Potter to this one reallllly odd story about isekai-ing into Minecraft, of all things. (I actually kind of like that one. Don't know if there's an audience for that kind of thing, though). My writing has absolutely improved since those admittedly rough early chapters of DL (I am ASTOUNDED it ever gained the little audience that it did) but there's still an anxiety I have about sharing my work. Silly, yes, but that's that.

For right now, I have the new DL chapter, I have this long-ass update post, and I have my genuine appreciation.

Much love to anyone who might still care. <3

Until next time?

Illegal Mushrooms

[leffee]

thinking about the boys again and how the show's treatment of them genuinely makes my blood boil

For Vinnie the treatment is definitely worse but whenever the three are together the show feels inclined to make them the most cowardly, pathetic, manlosers ever (and I mean that negatively) while the girls who are much less likable are treated much better, for some reason. Look if you really want to make the boys wimpy losers, at least make the girls like that too, make them girlfails (Zoe already has that girlfail energy so)

Like... make them all losers except for maybe Russell because he actually has his shit together

And that episode where they go to China. Like, I can't. WHY ARE THEY LIKE THAT??? The boys are clearly afraid of something and the girls (minus Penny) are assholes to them. I get Pepper doing shit like that but Zoe and Minka? No, I don't buy it. A fear--no matter how silly it seems-- should NEVER be made fun of. Media where one gender gets treated like a joke compared to the other, no matter if male or female, makes me so angry Istg.

How about instead of the during the episode, Zoe and Minka spend their time trying to assure the boys that there's no ghosts and that is just a myth, only to keep having Pepper play silly pranks on them that scare them even more. And she just makes fun of them (Pepper I love you but it just makes sense okay) and then Zoe and Minka could confront her and there could be a little moral about the thing with fears that I just said. Maybe Pepper sees how much her pranks and teasing has gotten to the boys (they're more paranoid and jumpy, Russell is probably on the verge of tears) and she realizes that she took it way too far.

So then maybe before the dance or after, Pepper apologizes to the boys for making them so paranoid. Sure, she thought those were harmless pranks and gentle ribbing, but not everyone sees it like that. The boys forgive her, of course, and there we go :) the Penny stuff can stay the same

I apologize for the ramble but I had to get that out of my system. Anyways, I guess I gave you an episode rewrite I guess

I just- yuuup. It's exactly like I said, when they're all separate it doesn't really happen (aside from Vinnie :/) but when they're seen as a unit as in against the female pets they are just treated so fucking unfairly and always given the short end of the stick, I swear. And mind you this group has Russell - whose defining feature is being smart, and Sunil who is arguably the second smartest pet. I did mean it that whenever those boys vs girls plot come out it feels like a modern "feminist" movie, except that the director forgot that feminism is all about gender equality, not girls being better, smarter, etc than boys.

I swear, their teasing is shown as a good thing and I hate it. Like to a point it could be seen as them being just comfortable with each other, enough to point out some quirks, but honestly it's not a thing here, they were just being assholes cause "haha, boys stupid and smelly!". I definitely stan your re-write.

Pls, don't apologize, I'm always happy to see you in my inbox, and I very much agree with your thoughts. It's just interesting to get someone's who is not that familiar with the show, cause after I rewatched that thing for so many times my perspective changed so much towards some things, and while I see more, in some cases I'm just so used to it I kinda just forget it.

[ca-suffit]

First of all I wanted to thank you for your work here! I just got here, I had no idea this account existed but 5 seconds reading it and I'm already more enlightened about what has been going on. I'm white, English is not my first language and I'm also autistic so I haven't noticed 95% of all of that. Thank you very much.

As for a question, as I said I just got here so I don't know if this has already been addressed, but I was wondering if amarawombat it's a safe account, given she also participate on the fanbooks with noncontextlestat. I love her content, it's one of my favorites, but now I'm kind of worry because I'm not sure about anyone anymore ._.

I don't want to be paranoid, so I guess I'm also asking for maybe something concrete that I could hold on to while being, as I mentioned, white, autistic and not from USA/Europe. I feel quite lost, to be honest.

Once again, thank you for your work and I'm sorry if any of this is inadequate or if my English was too messy.

hi!! I'm glad it's helped to find this account. I'm always happy to answer stuff too, so plz feel free to ask me anything (my inbox is p backed up rn but I will always answer stuff eventually!!)

oh, amarawombat is the armand cosplayer!! she's here too but I forgot her username. I've never known of her doing anything. association with certain stuff doesn't always mean the person shares views. lots of ppl have contributed to the fanbooks over time and most of them are just general or even casual fans. that's why I don't like call out posts, bcuz so often it groups ppl up like this when u can't always rely on that to assume things about ppl.

I think that white lestat cosplayer she's with sometimes has me blocked tho, but I'm not rly sure if that's the same person as who posts here. that still also doesn't mean anything about her, necessarily btw. idk either of them personally or have ever seen or heard anything around otherwise. they're just here to post cosplay stuff. blocking me doesn't mean the person participates in racist fandom bullying either.

[ghostlytalkin]

I want to be super clear, and because this deals with my attempt and some pretty dark ass stuff regarding MYSELF I am going to put it under read more, nobody is obligated to read it but to clarify for probably more my sanity. But I ask that please don't go to others blaming them for what I tried to do. I took things that was said and let it swallow me instead of ignoring them like I would do towards a lot of people. This being said, here is a crazy long message.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

suicide attempt, medications, hospitals, stalking, death threats, police {briefly}, long ass post

I am not going to blame ANYBODY but myself for my attempt at suicide. I suffer greatly from suicidal idealization and the idea of dying before getting old. I suffer from depression and my therapist and I are working to narrow down the type of depression I have because it acts like the tide changes and they do not want to give a automatic diagnosis. I also deal with minor obsessions and hyperfixations which we're working on.

I did spend some time under suicide watch in the hospital. I had my sister checking up on me through my nurses, who were super nice and one let me talk her ear off for nearly fifteen minutes before my meds kicked in and I passed the fuck out. I have been going through the motions of anti depressant medication and tbh I kinda hate them because of how tired they make me. But I am still taking them because everybody has told me that it takes time to adjust and my therapist said that it cane take a bit for your body to adjust. Plus I have insomnia and so the sleep I guess is needed because I've sleep deprived myself for years and worked on only 1-4 hours of sleep since I was in middle school.

I know I said that rpcvent outed me, but it was pointed out I had an earlier post where I put that I was evie/eevee. I honestly forgot about it and thought people pieced it together from rps I've mentioned having been in. That is on me. Even if I don't agree with rpcvent on things everybody has their own opinions and it is whatever.

I am getting help, I have decided to put this blog on pause for myself except for 1 day a week I will put things in the queue to run for the other 6 days. I will be having my inbox open for others to still come to if they choose, nobody is obligated to come to my inbox. But my inbox will be monitored by another so if death threats start coming in the inbox will be closed again. This is not up for debate and my person monitoring my blog will delete anon hate directed at me.

If anybody wants to be respectful and be like "hey this thing that you did had hurt me/a friend/somebody I know." I am open to it and bringing it to my therapist to find a corrective action on how to change and do better. I will also apologize. I never intended to cause people harm, more like call out their behaviors after they'd been talked to. I want to be better and do better and not having been told before I was causing issues I had no idea. I want to do better and make sure I am not that person.

For the people who were saying I was online while I was away and reporting it to other blogs

Please, don't monitor somebody's online status like that. For me personally it triggered my ptsd. I spent the last 6 years with an online stalker in the witch community who would monitor when I was online to try and narrow down my timezone to then would start asking my friends where I lived. They used multiple accounts to try and find out and get close to me under fake names. It got to the point where police were involved because they told people they had found out the area I lived at the time in Oregon and had gotten a plane ticket to come find me and kill me. And this all started because they were watching for me being online.

I am a pretty guarded person because I am scared of that happening again. I was almost doxxed three times, twice to this kind of person. It got so bad that police both in my state and their state was involved and it was confirmed they did have a plane ticket to Oregon. On discord I have a constant status of being idle, sometimes I will switch it to DND if I will be away longer than a few hours and forget about it, and it's because of this situation. I have a protective order against my stalker and charges had been pressed for telephonic harassment {which sounds fake and I thought it was fake until the officer I was working with showed me it was a real thing}.

And I'm sure somebody will run to tell this to other blogs, fine. Yeah I was stalked for SIX years. But what did I do? I told them I could no longer help with a situation I won't get into detail about and other people started to talk about how creepy stalker was and they said it was me telling people. That is the jist of it because frankly that situation has been dead to me and I've been trying to live my life despite my stalker persisting up until two weeks ago.

Please don't just monitor somebody's online status just to report it to others. That's really uncomfortable.

AS FAR AS THIS BLOG:

I will leave it up. There is two call outs that need to be up for others. This being the Elysium items, which was requested that I reblog and leave open for everybody so they can always have the receipts of behaviors and that of Cody because I've also been asked as he still is not taking accountability for his behaviors towards women and those who look feminin.

I will be doing more research before I post things, I'll look into whatever you guys send me or I will continue to ask for proof. Again, no proof sent will be posted without permission unless it is proof I personally found and posted. I want to do better, so I will make myself more informed.

I'm not going to join rps though to find things, that's weird and I think would be suspicious and I am not comfortable with doing that. What other people do and then send to me is on them. But right now I will be only answering things one day a week and will converse with my therapist regarding things because it's important to monitor. I'll be taking the rest of this week and next week off to allow myself a break and have time to further process and heal for myself for what I've done.

Thank you for reading this if you did. I am apologetic for the hurt that I have caused and I hope y'all have a lovely day.

[nohrslittleflower]

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ? 

Elise doesn’t really understand romance. Not in the ‘oh I’m just an innocent baby’ way, just and ‘I don’t get why people make such a big deal of it’ way. To her, it’s just like being the best of best friends. She thinks it sounds nice, but she’s fine whether or not she has someone. It doesn’t matter all that much in her opinion. If she loves someone, she uses every excuse she can to spend time with them, and gives them literally everything she sees that she thinks they would like. It’s basically the same thing she does with her siblings, but she would definitely ditch the one she loves if her family needed her. They’re what’s most important to her, and whoever the other person is would need to accept that, or she would break up with them immediately. It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between someone she really likes and someone she has a crush on. She’s a bit more calm with the latter, but that’s it. 

[im-poe-dameron]

you're upset one night, and you don't know where to go, so you end up at your enemy's house, and as they open the door, you stay silent for a second, before saying (with tears in your eyes) ''i don't know where else to go.'' your enemy doesn't say anything. instead they pull you into their arms, giving you a shoulder to cry on.

- back at it again with another prompt! could i possibly get this one with my other favorite flyboy, poe dameron?

IT'S ALWAYS BELONGED TO YOU

a/n: okay so this has been in my inbox for SO LONG, but i got a huge spark of inspiration and was in the mood to write for poe. so out came whatever this fic is of enemies to lovers meets heated arguments meets well...........the good stuff. i finished this tipsy and half asleep so i don't even know if it makes sense but enjoy my darling!! (yes the title is from will turner). unedited and not beta read so there is most likely mistakes.

summary: injured from a fight at the cantina you seek out someone unexpected.

pairing: poe dameron x fem!reader

word count: 5.5k+ (i guess?!)

warnings: explicit so minors BEGONE, cussing, so much angst, bacta shot (aka involving a needle), pain, arguing, mentions of death, fingering, cum eating, overstimulation (blink and you'll miss it), fluff.

The frigid feeling of the night on your bare skin kept you from staying still and debating on whether or not this was a good idea. Somewhere in the brawl you forgot your jacket hanging on the back of your chair. The same jacket that once belonged to your father. You wanted to go back for it, but you’d been tossed out of the cantina for a reason and re-entering didn’t seem like a feasible option.

With reluctance filling every bone of your body, you made your way through the rain and back towards the camp you’d been tasked with protecting. You weren’t sure why you were put in the same group of people as the man who hated you so thoroughly is hurt at times–but there you were. A part of you wanted to fall into your slightly uncomfortable cot for the night; giving up without another thought.

Only you knew that if you showed up with a split lip and cuts on your knuckles, you’d be reprimanded to Corellia and back. Which left you with only one other option.

Sighing, you tightened your still bleeding hands into fists, trying to ignore the chills that spread rapidly down your spine.

His door looked more threatening than a whole horde of stormtroopers. It was a ridiculous notion to come to, but there you were–unable to simply knock and ask for help. You were hopeless when it came to admitting that you needed it in the first place. Asking someone–let alone the man who loathed your very being–made you realize that you’d rather face those stormtroopers. 

What were twenty men with blasters compared to this situation?

A cough wracked your body, sending a searing pain down your side as you practically shivered. It was then you realized the bastard from earlier has most likely snapped a rib or two.

How would you explain this? How could you come back from this?

Nothing was worse than asking someone you considered an enemy for help.

Fighting the urge to tuck your tail between your legs and run, you raised your arm–knocking assuredly on the door. There was absolutely no turning back now. Which is what you were afraid of.

The echo of rain hitting against metal rang in the clearing behind you–reminding you of what you’d have to walk through in order to get home. If he said no, laughed in your face and refused to help, you’d be horrified but you would go. After all, the both of you had treated one another with enough cruelty to make even Leia herself shocked. You weren’t even sure what caused this whole situation in the first place.

Why did you hate each other?

Why did you want to see him hurt and why did he want to do the same to you?

For months you could barely be in the same room together for more than five minutes before you were going at each other’s throats. Yet you were pretty sure if someone asked you what started it all–neither of you would have an answer. It just seemed to materialize out of thin air. The hatred seeping so far into your hearts, you couldn’t find a good enough reason to let go of it.

You vaguely heard him shuffling towards the door, a thump of him hitting something filtering through the metal.

There was still time. You could sprint the other way and forget this whole night ever happened. You’d patched yourself up numerous times before. Why did you need him to do it this time?

You were five seconds away from turning tail and running when the door slid open to reveal a shirtless and sleep deprived Poe Dameron. The slight shock on his face at seeing you was almost laughable. Except you then realized–you couldn’t laugh without doubling over in pain. The surprise quickly slipped from his face, being replaced by a sour look you would recognize anywhere.

“Hi,” you said softly, tucking your hands behind your back to hide the sight of your split open skin. That however didn’t stop his eyes from falling to your bleeding lip. “I know I have no right to ask this–”

“Who did that to you?”

The small tendrils of heat you’d been reaching for began to curl around your chest. Squeezing tightly until you had no choice but to acknowledge that they were there in the first place. Your rib still hurt like hell, yet hearing the slight worry in his voice counteracted that pain.

“Doesn’t matter,” you said quickly.

“That’s not what I asked,” he said–eyes hardening as they fell to the way you were leaning against the wall, placing more weight on your left side than your right.

You’d only ever seen him look this way during the heat of battle. When he was determined to come out victorious–the rage shining through the dark brown of his iris, nearly burning a hole through your chest. He was angry you were hurt. It was a surprise to come to that realization and yet it wasn’t an unwelcome one at that. Shifting your body, you tried to alleviate some of the pain that shot down to your leg–feeling like you might pass out from hypothermia the longer you stood there.

“Some guys in the cantina didn’t want to believe I was with the Resistance,” you huffed, shrugging your shoulders slightly. “They are worse off than I am. Trust me.”

“Where are they?”

A flutter tore through your heart. You’d never felt this way in his presence before. Some part of you knew that you were supposed to have these emotions when it came to Poe, but that was just it. The knowledge that this felt wrong–made it feel so right.

Maybe that’s where the hatred came from. The incessant understanding that this–whatever it was–should not happen. Poe was going to one day be a general and you would remain just the way you were. An engineer who knew their way around a blaster in the midst of battle, but nothing more. So, you shoved down the emotions you were feeling until they settled at the bottom of your stomach–turning your body bitter.

Poe Dameron, no matter how appealing he was to you in this moment, would only ever be the asshole who called you names like slip and rookie.

“Why come here?” he asked, still taking up space in his doorway–keeping you outside.

He wanted an answer and just like when you were asked why you hated him–you couldn’t come up with a good one. Why were you there? Why did you feel the need to come to him? For all you knew he would do a shitty job in patching you up, but that didn’t seem to matter. You knew the answer and you also knew…you didn’t want to say the answer.

“I–I didn’t know where else to go,” you replied, lying through your clenched teeth.

Waiting for him to laugh–tell you to go back to your, too small, cot was worse than the pain now spreading like a fire through your chest. Except he merely stepped to the side, giving you enough space to hobble inside–tears building up in your eyes at the small act of kindness. His hand landed on your arm, dragging it up until your knuckles were directly in his line of sight.

“It’s not that bad,” you blurted out, forcing yourself not to wince when he led you to the small stool placed near what you assumed to be a kitchen.

“Bullshit,” he muttered.

Just that one simple word brought a smile to your face, but you promptly wiped it away as he returned with a bacta kit and a wrap from your waist. You hadn’t even told him that you suspected your ribs were broken. He could simply tell by the way you were holding yourself. Once again that sickeningly sweet warmth shoved its way to the center of your chest, spreading up towards your neck.

He didn’t speak as he cleaned your knuckles. Simply kept his head ducked down–his curls falling against his forehead as he tried to pull out whatever glass might have been there. The alcohol in your veins was gone the second his hand touched yours. The feeling sobering you up quicker than you would have liked. Which meant you now had to sit and try not to stare at his still half bare form; or the way the muscles on his back tightened as he hunched over slightly to get a closer look.

“How many were there?” he asked, breaking the silence.

Again you winced, averting your eyes when he lifted his head. “Four.” The word was mumbled under your breath, and it wasn’t until you felt his hand tighten around your own, did your gaze snap back to his.

“What the fuck slip,” he breathed.

“Look they weren’t–”

“You could have gotten yourself killed,” he snapped.

Rearing back, you tried not to flinch from the pain in your side. “I was perfectly fine on my own.”

“Perfectly fine huh?” He stood when you nodded defiantly. “Then explain why you came to me bleeding.”

“I told you I had nowhere else to go,” you said.

He scoffed, shoving the opposite stool he was on closer to you, and sitting down. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Why?” Now it was his turn to back away. “Why shouldn’t I lie to you? If you haven’t noticed Dameron–we hate each other. I can’t remember a single time you were ever nice to me willingly so give me one good reason why I should even consider telling you the truth.”

“Because–”

“Because why?” you shouted, no longer in control of the emotions that unraveled your very being.

This was inevitable in the end. A fight between foes–when the meaning was far more than either of you could comprehend at a time like this. If you weren’t injured, you’d have tried to shove him away from you. Put as much distance between the both of you as possible, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his, let alone shift your body away far enough to clear your head.

“Because it’s us!” Dropping his head into his hands he rubbed at his eyes, oblivious to the way your mouth dropped open slightly. “It’s us. And yeah we fight, and we try to kill each other, but it’s us. I’d take a fucking bolt from a blaster for you.”

Your breath hitched, eyes watering at the sight of him tearing his own walls down for you. The same person he made everyone think he hated. You must have been stuck in a dream that found its fun in making something like this feel so real. It was twisted how much you longed for it to be real–how you wished you could break down your own walls just as he did.

“Poe–”

“If you don’t think that’s true then you obviously don’t know who pushed you out of the way in the last battle.”

You remember that day. A stormtrooper had gotten the upper hand, and while you were attempting to leap for an abandoned blaster on the floor, he had fired the shot. Someone shoved you of the way, effectively knocking your head against a rock and knocking you out. Except they had saved you from dying. Now–as you watched him run his hands through his hair to appease some of the stress building in his body, you realized how wrong you’d read every situation since then.

The walls holding in every built in emotion you had felt in the last year cracked. Severing your armor in two–allowing him to see a part of you that you closed off to everyone else.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you breathed, eyes still wide.

He shrugged. “Why didn’t you tell me you took down the TIE fighter that nearly blew me to pieces?”

Freezing in place, you watched his lips tug upwards in a small grin as the truth finally spilled free. You weren’t even supposed to be in an X-Wing, but then you heard the panicked transmission call. They were out-manned, outgunned, and on the verge of being wiped out. So you did the smart thing. You jumped in a ship and attempted to help–saving Dameron halfway through the battle from the very brink of death.

“How did you–”

He leaned closer, invading whatever personal space you had left. “Rose can’t keep a secret to save her life after four glasses of Jet juice.”

“You knew this whole time that I saved you?” Exhaling a shaky breath, you tried to stop your heart from leaping out of your chest. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?”

“I figured you hated me, but not enough to watch me die.”

“Poe Dameron you’re an asshole.” It was said through a weak laugh, the tears spilling down your cheek as you realized how stupid the both of you were.

He smiled, cupping your face and wiping them away with a soft brush of his thumbs. “Right back at you slip.”

Shifting, you managed to lean your forehead against his, eyes shutting for a moment of peace. “Hey, why do you call me that?”

His huff of laughter washed across your face–his thumbs still stroking your cheeks. “Cause you slipped through my fingers when we first met and have been ever since.”

If you didn’t feel the absolute ache in your chest before that moment, you did now. Somehow he’d taken every time you’d burned with anger towards him and flipped it–causing you to burn, ache, long for him the longer you sat there. He was the reason you were still alive; the true reason why you came here for help instead of anywhere else. You wanted to see him–to know that the loathing he felt was just a cover for something he couldn't quite yet describe.

“Poe,” you whispered, placing your hands on his shoulder in order to keep him from moving. “I–” The breath in your lungs stuttered as you tried to get out words that you never realized you felt until tonight.

They were stuck, lodged in your throat as you realized what it would mean for you to finally admit that this was real. You’d have to open up to him–show him all the ugly bits you did your best to ignore, because they were far from perfect. You were far from perfect. Except he didn’t seem to care.

“I know,” he said. “Me too.”

Gripping lightly on his hair you dragged him closer until his lips sealed over yours, effectively stopping your heart. You were nearly positive that he’d stolen every breath you had ever taken and would take in the course of your life, with this one single kiss. Which only made you press against him harder, lips moving in a more swift manner to forget the pain you both put each other through to get here. How stupid were you to think you could make an enemy out of a fated lover.

Licking against his bottom lip, you felt his hand slide from your cheeks down to your waist. Gentle enough to avoid the wounded areas, but firm in the decision he was making. He chose you. He’d always choose you.

The taste of him would leave you inebriated for days to come. Peppermint and something so purely him that you wouldn’t have been able to put into words even if you tried. Somehow that left you wanton, desperate for more. It stuck to your taste buds, shooting lust through your veins. Curling your fingers even further into his hair, you tentatively opened your mouth to him, shivering when he took the initiative to lick slowly–hotly–against your tongue.

You could stay there for hours just doing this. Tasting him for as long as time allotted you to do so. However, fate had a slight difference in opinion, because as you moaned into his mouth, he gripped your side–sending a jarring pain down to the very tips of your toes. Crying out, you yanked him back by his hair; an audible groan tearing from his throat.

“I’m sorry,” you said, letting go instantly. “I just–”

“Where does it hurt?” He bypassed your apology, choosing instead to run his hands lightly over your side until he caught you noticeably flinching.

“It’s–fuck–I swear it’s fine.”

He shook his head, biting back his smile as you attempted to play off the pain that nearly had you collapsing onto the floor. Picking up the bacta kit he began to put it together. Really it would take a few seconds and it would be over with, but the way he glanced at you for permission before lifting the side of your shirt, felt like the act took longer than that. Biting down on your split lip, you ignored the way your body tensed when his warm calloused hands touched your side.

“This might hurt,” he mumbled, still so close that you could feel his breath against your arm.

“I can take it.”

Seeing him attempt to swallow down his smirk had your thighs clenching together. While you certainly hadn’t meant for it to sound that way, you weren’t upset when his mind fell to that conclusion. If you weren’t stuck in one spot, you’d have asked him to do far more than simply kiss you. Which made the entire situation that much more aggravating.

You could only kiss him.

Tensing as the needle punctured your skin, you forced yourself to think of anything other than the situation you were in. You couldn’t look at him–not when he was leaning forward like this, his lips inches away from your arm. Not when you could feel your control wavering, on the verge of snapping in two. Fuck your injuries, you’d heal eventually, but knowing Poe he’d demand that before either of you two did anything–you’d have to heal first.

“Stop fidgeting,” he said, pressing down on your side to keep you from pulling away.

“Just hurry up.”

“I’d be able to if you sat still.”

Grumbling under your breath, you felt him pull away, the clink of the needle hitting the counter coming from behind you. “Is that it?”

“I’m going to have to bandage your waist until we can get you to the medic tomorrow.”

“The bacta won’t…heal my ribs?”

He chuckled, grabbing the bandages he had pulled out from the closet you all had in case of emergency. “No it won’t. Bones are a little more complicated.”

“Well fuck–” Wincing when you shifted back, you saw him pause a foot away from you. “What’s wrong? Not enough bandages?”

Poe stumbled over his words, his eyes dropping to your body before dragging back to your eyes. You felt the tug in your stomach at the sight of him openly admiring you, but you shoved it down. Too prideful to admit that you liked the look on his face and wanted to see it again and again.

“No–uh–I’m going to need you to–well–”

“Spit it out Dameron,” you said, a teasing smile spreading across your lips. “It can’t be that hard.”

The words had their intended effect. His eyes narrowed, hands gripping the bandages tighter as he stared at you without any embarrassment in his eyes. Something shifted in the air around you–nearly sparking a fire that slowly inched its way through your body.

“Take off your shirt.” His clipped tone caused your body to react in such a visceral way you nearly let an incoherent whine slip free.

“What?”

Stepping closer, he began to unravel the bandages. “Unless you want the bandages on top of the fabric.”

“No–I–” If you weren't being watched by him–stuttering underneath his gaze–you would have made a sly comment. No doubt causing yet another argument, but the look in his eyes quickened your pace.

It took you painfully shifting and him helping you–his hands dragging up your sides slow enough to have you shutting your eyes for some reprieve–for you to finally get the shirt off. You were better off simply sitting here rather than feeling him handle you as if you’d break any minute. It was maddening. Yet each time he wound his arms around you to keep the bandage straight, each brush of his hands along your bare skin, sent shivers down your spine.

“Almost done,” he said.

You opened your eyes, peeking at his face and felt your stomach bottom out. His jaw was clenched, eyes staring directly at his hands that didn’t stray from his task. What you thought was merely you overreacting at the loss of touch you’d experienced, was something else entirely. Poe had always been the man to keep perfect control over everything he worked on–a spitting image of the leader he was meant to be. At times you found it annoying, except you never realized how far his need for control went.

“Poe,” you murmured, breaking through his tightly locked mindset and allowing him a moment to pull away.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked.

Shaking your head, you ran your fingers through his curls, pushing them away from his forehead. You never understood the fascination with a man’s hair until this moment. Until he titled his head back–leaning into your touch–as his eyes fluttered shut. The look on his face nearly brought you down to your knees and even as he opened his eyes, you saw the brown nearly swallowed whole by his pupil. He wanted more.

You both did.

“Poe–”

He pulled away, returning to his spot on the stool and tying off the bandage. “You’re injured,” he said. In all honesty you weren’t sure if he was trying to convince you or himself. “I’m not going to be the reason you hurt even more.”

“You won’t hurt me.”

The words felt strange coming from you, knowing everything you went through to get to this point. It was ironic in a way. Except you couldn’t focus on the past–you didn’t want to. Knowing that the thoughts you had weren’t just fickle emotions, brought out new sensations you knew only he could make you feel. Poe Dameron was an addiction you didn’t want to kick. He was the poison in your veins and the antidote on your tongue.

Wincing, you leaned forward to bring his gaze back to you. “You can still kiss me…”

The worry on his face gave way to a smile you’d only seen directed at you a few times. Well–the times you’d actually been looking at him. You didn’t know it yet, but you were the cause of nearly all his smiles; the reason he found himself in a daze–lost in thoughts of you. Without hesitation, he captured your lips with his. The tang of him, already something you missed, once again filled your senses. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to drag him closer or pull away for air, but you decided on the former.

Gasping as one of his hands hesitantly brushed against your bare breast, you nearly fell into his lap. If you weren’t careful the both of you would end up on the floor and that would cause more harm than good. Poe knew that, which is why it only took him a few seconds to switch places with you. Shifting your body until your legs were over his thighs–the heat of his body now pressing firmly against yours.

“Fuck–” you breathed; practically shaking as your nipples brushed against his bare chest.

“My beautiful girl,” he mumbled against your cheek, his lips trailing down to your jaw–nipping lightly at the skin there. “Saved my life.”

The words you intended to say came out as a whine of his name instead when he pressed your hips down against his own. Effectively grinding his cock right against your clothed cunt. Sparks trailed up your spine, giving kindling to the fire that now streaked its way through your veins–causing you to press even closer to him.

Thankfully the bacta shot numbed the pain you were in, but you knew things wouldn’t get farther than this tonight. If there’s one thing you understood–Poe never backed out on his word. He’d kiss you until your head went fuzzy and your heart nearly gave out, but he wouldn’t press you into something that would cause your body pain. Somehow that only made you want him more. Until you were practically dragging yourself against his lap and sucking his tongue into your mouth.

He groaned, his hand grasping at your ass to still your movements. “We can’t–”

“Please,” you breathed; the beg was clear in your voice. “I’ll be good.”

“Fuck baby you’re going to kill me.”

Giggling, you scraped your teeth along his jaw. “You and I both know it takes a lot more than me begging for your cock to kill you.”

“Don’t be so sure about that,” he grunted, his hand reaching for the button of your pants.

The first touch of his fingers sliding through your slick nearly caused you to lose all sense of yourself. A heady moan ripped its way out of your throat as you tucked your face into his neck. Without meaning to, you began to grind against his fingers–positive that you wouldn’t last more than a few minutes from just him exploring. You were desperate for him; aching to feel him fill you entirely.

“Is this cause of me?” he asked, his eyes wide at the feeling of you practically dripping onto his palm.

You nodded, pressing your lips against his. “Yes. Now can you please–please touch me.”

Your heart nearly shattered when he shook his head, pulling his hand from you. This was the sensible thing to do. Wait until you are completely healed to move any further. Only you couldn’t stop the cry of desperation from leaving you. Steadying your breath, you began to shift away from him; certain that the both of you would simply head to bed now.

His hand grasping onto yours is what stopped you from moving.

“What–”

“Show me,” he breathed, dragging your bottom lip into his mouth and letting it go.

“Huh?” Your brain had turned to mush at the idea he was suggesting.

It wasn’t until he clasped your hand over his, having you guide him towards your cunt did you realize exactly what he wanted. Show me. He wanted to know what you wanted. How you liked to be touched; what exactly would get you there to the very edge of climaxing. His eyes were clouded with lust, mouth swollen and spit slicked as he watched the realization dawn on your face.

“Show me,” he urged a second time, biting down on his bottom lip when you finally took the initiative.

A ragged gasp left you when you pressed his fingers lightly to your clit, teaching him the pace that made your toes curl. Already you could feel your orgasm building, the tightening in your stomach growing with every swipe of his calloused fingers against you. Pushing his hand down further, you guided him, moaning when his fingers caught on your entrance. It wouldn’t take you long to hit that peak, his name already a pleaded out moan on your lips, but you needed more than what you could show him.

“I need–” You tilted your head back when he pressed the first finger into you.

“What do you need?” he asked, his other hand cupping the back of your neck to bring your lips back to his. “Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

“I–” He slid another finger into you, smiling briefly as you choked on your words. “I need more. Oh fuck.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded, digging your nails into his shoulder. If you thought you were guiding him on how to give you an orgasm, you were sorely mistaken. Within seconds, you were a mess on his lap as he sped up the pace of his fingers, the heel of his palm grinding against your clit with every movement. Feeling his eyes on you as your mouth dropped open and your eyes fell shut was almost too much.

“Poe!” you cried out when he found the spot along your walls, rubbing his fingers over it with every thrust. “I’m gonna–ah fuck I’m gonna cum.”

“C’mon baby,” he murmured. “Cum on my fingers.”

You didn’t hear the rest of his words, because the coil in your body finally snapped. Shattering your very being in two as he pushed you even higher with his fingers. Above the sounds of your breathing was the audible echo of his fingers plunging in and out of your cunt. The wet squelch enough to have your orgasm prolonging to a point of near pain.

Sobbing out his name, your legs shook as he gradually slowed the pace of his hand until you were reaching down to stop it altogether. Sparks spread up and down your spine, rendering you immobile as you gasped for a full lungful of air.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, the disbelief clear in his voice.

Laughing softly, you pressed your lips against his. “I can’t feel my legs.”

“Good kind or…”

“Definitely the good kind.”

You watched as he sucked his fingers into his mouth, moaning at the taste of you. The sight of his eyes shutting in bliss made your clit throb and you nearly asked him to do it again. Instead, you opted for kissing him–tasting yourself on his tongue–while you waited for the feeling in your legs to return.

Which they did a few minutes later.

“Oh shit,” you muttered, glancing at the digital clock he had attached to the wall.

“What’s wrong?” Sighing, you attempted to get up from his lap only to have him stop you. “What happened?”

“I forgot my jacket at the cantina,” you said.

“You can wear mine.”

The ease in which he said those words reminded you of your feelings. You would choose him again and again, no matter the consequences in the end.

“I’d love to,” you replied, wincing as you stood up. “But it was my dad’s jacket. I can’t lose it.”

Poe got to his feet–his hands settling on your hips to keep you steady. “Wasn’t he a pilot?”

“In the Rebellion. Yeah. I didn’t know you knew that.”

“I always paid attention when you thought I didn’t.”

Smiling, you felt heat begin to creep up the back of your neck, warming your face. “Thanks…for paying attention.”

“Don’t thank me yet slip,” he said, leading you through a few stumbling steps till your legs hit the edge of his bed. “I’ve still got to make you see the Maker once you’re fully healed.”

He laughed when you smacked him on the arm, your body finding the thought incredibly appealing. There was something dangerous about being this in tune with someone you thought you hated once. You weren’t sure it was a good thing or a bad thing yet, but you knew he’d help you find out eventually. So, rather than fight against the feelings that begged to be bricked up and hidden, you gave into something greater.

It took three more sexual jokes, a kiss or two, but soon you were lying together in the bed, his chest pressed against yours. You tucked your head into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent as you drifted off. Happy for once in a very long time.

Feeling the uncomfortable ache return to your side woke you up from your relaxing sleep–causing irritation to rise in your body. Poe slept soundly beside you, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist and head pressed into your neck. Which is why you tried to stay as still as possible. Except you could feel the burn start to come back with full force.

You had to see a medic today. The sooner the better.

Shifting slowly, you managed to turn to your other side–relieving some of the pain. Only to freeze as you caught sight of the brown leather pilot’s jacket hanging off the back of a chair. Blinking, you cleared the sleep from your eyes to make sure you were seeing what you actually thought you were seeing. The same jacket you’d left behind–the very last piece of your father you had–was directly in front of you.

Your breath caught in your throat–the tears welling up in your eyes. Poe had ventured out into the pouring rain in the late hours of the night, all to retrieve your jacket. He knew how important it was to you; understood the significance of the garment you wore proudly each and every day.

Blinking back the tears you felt the last of your walls crumble into pieces around you. Finally exposing your heart to the world that had turned it cold in the first place. Only now, as you felt Poe stir behind you–your eyes still stuck on your jacket–did you know that your heart was eternally protected. Just as he saved your life and healed your wounds, he’d do the same for your heart.

For as long as time allowed.

[leviathans-watching]

HI PRETTY!! i was wondering if you could write an imagine for the brothers of an mc who is all bundled up, cheeks red, mittens on, etc, when its snowing and the brothers finding it cute? i literally cannot wait for winter oml summer is so mid

the brothers seeing mc all bundled up for the cold

includes: the brothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .6k | rated g | m.list

a/n: hello!! i'm not a huge winter fan but i did my best so i hope you enjoy! my inbox is open to chat, leave feedback, or req so come say hi

please reblog <333

➳ lucifer watches as you pull on another layer, wrapping a scarf around your neck until it covers half of your face. “are you sure you need all of those layers?” he asks, and you shoot him a glare. the effect is somewhat diminished by the thick hat pulled low over your forehead and he resists the urge to smile. “yes,” you say, exasperated, words muffled by the aforementioned scarf, “i don’t think me becoming a human popsicle would reflect well on the exchange program.”

➳ mammon doesn’t understand how your teeth are chattering. it’s not even that cold! “to you, maybe,” you mutter, shaking another pack of hand warmers, “but humans aren’t meant to be exposed to the frickin’ elements for that long.” mammon laughs, tugging you close to his side, a feat considering the large, puffy coat you’re wearing. “don’t worry,” he says, “i’ll cuddle you when we get back, get you all nice and toasty.”

➳ levi surreptitiously takes a photo of you, inwardly squealing at your cuteness. you had dragged him out to play in the snow, something he’d never done before, and your excitement was infectious. “isn’t this great?” you ask, breath fogging into the air. “the cold air makes me feel alive!” levi grins at you, watching snowflakes drift onto your shoulders. “i’m glad you’re having fun,” he says. “winter might be my new favorite season.”

➳ satan looks at your pleading face. “what do you want?” he asks, sighing. you crack a rueful smile, gesturing down at yourself. “i can’t put my boots on,” you explain. “my snow pants are in the way.” satan raises a brow. “so you want me to do it?” you nod, and he sighs again, before kneeling down to help you. you giggle the whole time, but he can’t find it within himself to be too out of sorts, as the slight of you all bundled up is one that’s going to stay with him for a while.

➳ asmo can barely see you under all of the winter gear you’ve put yourself in, and he knows there are several more layers of sweaters and long-sleeved shirts beneath your coat. “that ensemble is so not cute,” he sighs, looking you up and down. “couldn’t you have at least gotten a matching set?” “no way,” you laugh. “i needed the thickest stuff they had which meant buying independent pieces. i’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to live with it if you don’t want me to freeze!” asmo tilts his head to the side, considering. “ugh, fine. i guess it’s not too bad,” he finally admits, “but that's only because it’s on you.”

➳ beel watches you blow on your hands, rubbing them together to stimulate blood flow. “are you alright?” he asks, and you sigh. “i forgot my gloves at the house. feel how cold my hands are!” you thrust your hand out at him, and beel grabs it, jolting at the sensation. you’re much colder to the touch than you normally are. “that won’t do,” he says, “come over here and put your hand in my pocket.” you do as he says and he covers your hand with his, already planning on switching sides in a few minutes to do your other hand.

➳ belphie groans at the feeling of cold wind on your cheeks, but your eyes are bright. “this is so fun!” you exclaim, trying to adjust the earmuffs covering your ears. your mittens get in the way and after watching you struggle for a few moments belphie wordlessly steps forward and moves them back into place, reviving a bright smile in return. “the cold sucks,” he says, and you laugh. “don’t be like that. we can go in and wrap ourselves in blankets soon.”

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your won

[deliwrites]

ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕊𝕝𝕦𝕥 // 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊 // Dream Team

// DATE // 26th of November 2022 // PAIRING // DreamTeam x fem!Reader, george x fem!reader, sapnap x fem!reader, dream x fem!reader // WARNING // flirty!reader, use of real names, tease!reader, playgirl(ish)!reader, reader being playfully teased   // WORDS // 2,5k+ // SUMMARY //  Your first day in America with the boys. (it's a bit of a filler cause I've been very busy with college, sorry!) // CREDIT // I have use a small paragraph of the first book of the "to be claimed" series from "Willow Winters". I highly recommend it if you are into a/o/b stuff.

// SERIES // Intro // Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // I’m open for serie title suggestions for this one! Feel free to comment your suggestion here or sent it into my inbox!

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

After our group hug, I looked up to actually look at Clay. Nick and George going to grab my suitcases.

“I knew you would be gorgeous,” I told him. I don’t think he was expecting exactly that. A loud chuckle coming from him in surprise. A bright smile covering my face. Standing on my tippy toes, I peck his cheek. “Now, where is Patches?” I ask with excitement. Don’t tell them I said this, but Patches is definitely the biggest reason I decided to move.

“Alright, let’s let those two deal with the suitcases,” we laugh at the two somehow struggling to get them out of the car. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, Clay starts leading the way to the front door.

“Patches!” I sing song the moment the front door closes behind us.

“Last I saw her she was in my ro-”  a meow interrupts him—patches. She walks over to us from the living room.

“Hmm,” I giggle evilly. “I guess you forgot to tell Patches about your plan,” smirking, I stand on my tippy toes again, this time pecking his lips now that we were in private. Clay smiles, only a little defeated. He did at least get a peck. I peck his lips two more times before walking over to Patches slowly. Lowering to the floor. “Hi cutie,” holding out my hand for her to sniff. Cautiously strutting over, she starts sniffing my fingers. Quickly after nudging my hand. Allowing me to pet her. “Awh, you like me already!” Gently I pick her up, cradling her in my arms like a baby.

“Of course, she likes you,” Clay says, watching fondly at the interaction. Watching me baby-talk to the cat. She somehow meowed back in response. “You’re part of the family,” getting up from the floor I sent him a smile. Still holding onto Patches who decided to hug me.

“So, where is my - unfinished -  room?” Before Clay can answer, the front door bursts open. George and Nick arguing as they stumble inside with my four suitcases. The commotion causing Patches to jump from my arms, using my shoulder. Leaving a slight stinging sensation from her claws. Running who knows where to hide from the two. “You guys okay?”

“I thought you packed light!” George exclaims, making the question sound more like a statement.

“I did?” I answered with confusion. I had been carrying all four suitcases and hadn’t really noticed one being heavier than the others. Maybe one because of books, but not so much heavier that it would cause such a struggle. Walking over I took the heavy suitcase, noting that it seemed heavier. Placing it on the floor. Unzipping it, I take a peek inside. “She did not,” I mutter, smacking the suitcase shut. I had no idea what else was in this suitcase. But I did not want them to see what mom had put in it.

“What? What’s in it?” Nick asks, his voice filled with curiosity.

“Let’s not worry about it,” I quickly go to zip up the suitcase, not noticing the look the three share. “Hey!” I squeak when I am suddenly pulled away from the suitcase. Clay having a tight hold on me. Leaving us both to sit on the floor. Trapped I am unable to move out of his hold as I trash around. I’m forced to watch Nick and George open the suitcase. The first thing in sight is a - one of my many - baby albums. One I didn’t plan on bringing, along with a box filled with other pictures from my childhood. Under those, I could see - spicy - books and a black Hunkamüller box. That box was not filled with lingerie tho. No, no, but I think you can guess when I tell you that I would rather have them look at my baby pictures.

“Y/n’s baby pictures,” George smirks. Immediately flipping through the pages quickly. Laughing when he finds a picture of me naked. Showing it to all of us, I was laid on a cushion, on my belly. Ass plumb nice and round in true baby fashion. ‘Awh’s filled the entree way as they continued flipping through them. All the while I groan in both embarrassment and frustration, hiding my face in my hands.

“They are just baby pictures!” I try to minimize the hype of the photo album. “I don’t know why mom packed those.”

“She packed it so we can tease you with it,” Clay says from behind me, still keeping me trapped in his hold. Though I stopped trashing, just letting it happen. Scoffing, I rolled my eyes, not that he could see.

“And what are these,” Nick grabs one of the few books in the suitcase. These were my favourites, there were more going to be shipped by my mom. But they didn’t need to know what they were about.

“Just books… Nothing to worry about,” maybe I should shut up though. I didn’t like lying and I especially couldn’t lie to these three idiots. Besides, nothing I say is going to make them stop looking through my stuff. I wouldn’t mind but like this, it felt very exposing. 

“To be claimed, Willow Winters,” Lucky for me I got the discreet version, so as long as they didn’t open the book I would be in the clear. “What’s this about?”

“I’m not saying anything,” I should really listen to my own advice. With a mock scoff, George takes the book from Nick. Opening it to a random page.

“Before the torn clothing even hits the floor, his tongue-”

“George stop,” I try to stop him from continuing as he reads from the book. He just glances at me, smirk devilishly on his lips.

“His tongue is on me. His rough stubble scratches against my inner thighs and it’s even better-”

“George ple-” before I can finish my plea Clay’s hand covers my mouth.

“Shh, we’re finding out how kinky you really are,” he says in a hushed tone.

“ ‘Please!’ I can’t stand the torture any longer. I need my release. He moves from between my legs and hovers over my body while wiping my glistening arousal from his mouth with the back of his hand. His lips are swollen and his silver gaze doesn’t hide his desperation to be inside me in the least. At least both of us are affected. ‘You need me to fuck you, Grace?’.”

“Wow, we know you’re horny, but not this horny,” Nick teases me when George stops reading. Thanks fuck. Pulling Clay's hand down I mock a laugh.

“At least the men in these books are able to pull more girls than you guys,” laughs fill the space. Clay finally let go of me. Thankfully they decided they had done enough snooping for today. Instead, actually deciding to show me around our home. Ending at my empty bedroom, lucky me, it has an ensuite.

“So, as I explained before, for now, we are rotating beds,” Clay says after putting one suitcase down in the room, George, Nick and I doing the same with the other suitcases. “Tonight, my room is all yours. Tomorrow George’s, then Nick’s. And it will repeat until your room is ready.” 

“Hmm, are you sure you trust me in your rooms?” I smirk evilly.

Around noon whilst we were all relaxing on the living room couch, my phone started ringing.

“Shit,” I mumble, quickly answering the phone. “H-hey mom..,”

“Y/full/n, you’ve made me worried sick! You said you would call when you landed!” my mom's voice rings loudly.

“I’m so sorry! I promise that I’m okay. I have arrived safely-”

“I don’t believe you! Hand the phone to George.”

“What? George is more believable than me?” I ask offended, the guys laughing at my reaction.

“Just hand over the phone, unless you’re not actually with them.”

“Okay, okay,” doing as told, I give my phone to Geoge who puts it on speaker.

“Hello Mrs Y/l/n,” he says calmly.

“Oh thank god, my angel hasn’t been kidnapped.”

“What!?” I exclaim. Clay wheezed beside George.

“Honey, the only way I would know for certain would be George’s British accent,” mom says like it’s nothing. “If you would have just turned your video on-”

“Mom-”

“It’s okay, Y/n, you can turn the cam on,” Clay reassures me like he was reading my mind.

“You sure?” He nods with a sweet smile. Taking my phone back from George. I turn on the front camera.

“There you are,” mom smiles tearily.

“See, I’m alright. I’m in one piece. I’ve just been fed by Clay,” I turn the camera trying to show her I was actually in one piece. Also showing the empty plate on my lap. “I’m being well taken care of.”

“As promised!” Nick says, popping his head into frame next to me. “Also thank you for making her bring a baby photo album,” he smirks, making me roll my eyes.

“I actually can’t believe you put it in my suitcase!”

“Awh, but hun, I had to give the boys something to tease you with,” she grins like a Cheshire cat making the guys laugh.

“I thought you were on my side,” I pout.

“Oh, but I am. I am always on your side.” She says in that motherly voice. “But since I won’t see them myself. It meant I couldn't tease you with the pictures myself.”

“Fine, I’ll let you get away with it. But I’m definitely going to hide it.”

“Oh, we’ll find it,” Clay promises, making me reach over George, hitting his arm. 

The call goes on for a little while longer. Ending when Mom goes to bed.

At 9 pm I gave up on trying to keep myself awake. Saying goodnight to the guys, pecking their cheeks. Retreating into Clay’s room after sending him a wink. Using that as a way of saying he was allowed to join me when he went to bed.

I quite literally plummet onto the bed the moment I’ve undressed. Wrapping myself in the comfortable sheets. Which smells delightfully like Clay. It was such a new scent but it was so comforting. Almost like I hadn’t left home. I tried to fight the sleep but almost instantly fell asleep.

It was close to 2 am when Clay was finally able to sneak into his own room. George had gone to bed around 11:30 but Nick stayed up another hour. Not waiting to risk waking those two he had to wait longer. 

Grinning when he saw her figure in his sheets, her face nuzzled in his pillow. Quietly taking off his clothes. He crawls into his bed, on the other side of her. With gentle hands, he pulls her figure closer to him. She grumbled a bit, Clay softly chuckles. But that’s enough to make her stir. Blinking slowly Y/n looks at Clay, a smile forming on her lips.

“Hey,” she says sleepily, a lazy smile on her lips.

“Hi cutie,” he grins at the lazily blinking girl. She snuggles closer to the tall male. “You tired, baby?” she nods against his chest. “That’s alright, go back to sleep,” he pecks the top of her head. He obviously hoped something would happen between him and the teasing minx he was currently cuddling. But he understands how tired she is. It was a long day for her. So much to digest. A whole new life to get used to. There would be many more days for just the two of them. The thought of it brought a smile to his face. Not that she saw.

“Love you,” the confession shouldn’t have shocked him as much as it had. Y/n often told him, Nick and George, that she loves them. But hearing it in real life felt so much different.

“Love you too,” he replied softly, giving her another peck on her head. Clay laid awake for a while longer. Not used to sleeping with someone. Especially, someone, he cared for as much as Y/n. 

He had spoken about it before. And he truly means it. He spoke about Nick and George being his soulmates. Maybe not in the traditional sense. But he thinks the same of Y/n, it might just be a little different. What he knows for sure is that he loves the three of them so much.

The next day I was happy yet surprised to find Clay Next to me. A quick flash of a memory reminding me that he had joined me late last night. He was still asleep cuddled into me. With a grin, I worm my right hand free. Reaching up to softly caress his face. My thumb traces his cheek, his slight stubble catching on my skin. I took my time appreciating his face. Loving the light freckles scattering across his nose and cheeks. He had told me he had them of course, I just hadn’t seen them. And now I get to stare at them as long as I want. Beautiful lashes decorating his closed eyes. Wild curly dirty blond hair framing his face. Plumb slightly pouty bottom lip. Tracing my thumb softly across the pink skin. I watch as it subconsciously gets pulled into his mouth. Licking his lip softly, making me bite my lip. I quite desperately wanted to kiss him, but he’s asleep.

“I can feel you staring.”

“Huh? What? No, I’m not!” I replied startled. Turning away like I wasn’t just appreciating his face. He chuckles, pulling me closer to him. Arms wrapped tight but lovingly around my waist. Giggling as he peppers the top of my head with kisses. Turning back to face him I smile up at him.

“Did you sleep well?” he asks gently, his left hand coming up to cup my cheek. A blush flushing my cheek as I nod to answer him.

“It feels like home,” I tell him. I wasn’t necessarily talking about sharing the bed with him. But it all just felt like it was normal. Like I didn’t just move countries. This is my home. With my three boys. It’s meant to be this way.

“I’m glad,” his voice is soft. Slowly leaning in, giving me the option to pull away. Instead, I met him halfway. Our lips slotted together in a tender kiss. No tongue, just lips pouring out feelings of finally making the dream come true. 

“Hmm, I’m hungry,” I tell him romantically the moment we pull away. Biting my bottom lip with a grin.

“Idiot,” Clay chuckles. “Go get dressed, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Okies,” I peck his lips once more before getting out of bed. Clay doing the same, smacking my ass to get moving. I squeak watching him smirk as he goes to his closet. Leaving the room, I go to mine. 

When everyone was awake we made plans. Our schedules weren’t free for shopping for the next two weeks. So we freed a random Wednesday, Thursday and Friday for shopping and building. Clay would have done his face reveal by then. So he agreed to do a building stream with me, along with George and Nick.

[elysianslove]

ay yo? lmao haiiiii any chance we can get some haikyuu boys and nicknames they'd call their s/o? a lil deprived of kageyama, so if possible can you pls include him?? i hope you're doing well :)

omg wait i remember seeing this in my inbox and planning on answering it but i ,,, i forgot :( im sorry :( but here it is lovely <3 

HAIKYUU BOYS AND NICKNAMES 

ANGEL ! — 

akaashi; out of all his nicknames for you, this is his favorite!! he just thinks it’s very fitting for you, because you’re nothing short of ethereal for him. loves to say it when he’s first greeting you or as he kisses you gn or!!! when he says thank you :) 

osamu; it slips sometimes with him!! not his go-to but it’s very familiar on his tongue when it comes to you, and that’s very endearing :,) just slips casually when he’s asking you a question like, “angel, do we need milk?”  

daichi; omg he usually adds to it and it ends up being some cheesy stuff like “angel-face” and it makes you all flustered because wtf man :( and he always says it while laughing teasingly too ugh :( 

suna; suna has the cheesiest nicknames for you and you cannot convince me otherwise, and you can never tell if it’s genuine or ironic but,,, it doesn’t matter. he sounds so sweet calling you “angel” so whatever :) 

aran; this man. this man. he says it cause he knows it has you weak. he says it so lovingly, so sweetly, so casually, so suave and relaxed and his voice is so smooth and deep. who wouldn’t be swooning over him??? 

aone; AONE AONE PLS AONE PLEASE. he’d just think it’s such a sweet and kind and soft nickname and he likes the way it sounds when it’s whispered and he thinks nothing is more perfect than nicknaming you angel and he says it all the time like “ok, angel,” and “see you tomorrow, angel,” and, “love you, angel,” and it’s so quiet but so sweet hwbwjsjd 

oikawa; he’s about to be in 90% of these cause he’ll be calling you anything but your name. is it because he wants to be annoying and to get on your nerves? or is it because he genuinely means it? the world will never know. you’re not even sure he himself does. 

DOLL ! — 

matsukawa; are you kidding me this is his. it’s HIS. he sounds so hot saying it and he looks so hot saying it and he’s so charming and it’s so like easy on his tongue. and he has a slight drawl to it too and he always says it with this aura of relaxation and ease it’s so hot. he just. he loves it. he loves you. you love it. the world is a better place. 

atsumu; he thinks he’s way cooler than he is when he says it. you suppose he is pretty hot when he calls you doll but you’re not gonna tell him that!!! it’s not his go-to but you can catch it slipping off his tongue every once in a while. 

kuroo; yesyesyes he loves it. only ever says it when he’s so up close and personal with you like cups your cheeks and hovers his lips against yours like, “heya, doll,” and he’s just so handsome. ugh. 

kageyama; at the start of your relationship, kageyama called you by your name and nothing else!! but then he had like this talk w someone and they asked him what he calls you and he realized like,,, am i supposed to be doing it differently??? spent so long just searching up “cute nicknames for my s/o” and then he found “doll” and was like ok. i’ll try. and he tried!! and it stuck!! plus timeskip kags calling you doll??? that’s so hot bye

oikawa; this might be the only sincere nickname he has for you cause everything else is either to provoke you or to be cringy and annoying. and i’m sure you prefer doll over sweet cheeks and pumpkin pie and cinnamon whatever like you hungry tōru?? anyways he loves loves loves calling you doll cause he thinks it’s such a ? smooth and serene nickname? and his voice always gets deeper and quiet when he says it so!!!! 

SUNSHINE ! — 

hinata; please he is all the sunshine, but he always claims that you’re the true sun in his life. idk hinata would be so lame yet so cute like that :( and he always says it with such a big grin he’s so cute pls :( 

tendō; he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute !!!!! your contact name is “my sunshine” definitely definitely definitely. he is literally in love with you and wants the whole world to know it. he loves screaming it out for everyone to hear but also absolutely adores like hugging you from behind and whispering in your ear as he kisses your cheek, “hey, sunshine.” :(((((

kenma; kenma doesn’t wanna think too hard on the whole nicknames thing but he also does kind of sort of really wants to call you something special and the first thing that pops in his head is sunshine. first time he used it you were Shocked but he was acting nonchalant about it (read: freaking out on the inside) and you were like “ok guess im sunshine now.” and you are his sunshine to this day. 

BABY/BABE ! — 

atsumu; it’s easy and it’s endearing!! he personally loves being called babe but he loves hugging you close to him after a long day and just sighing, “hey, baby,” like. he loves it okay. he thinks it’s perfect cause it fits and cause it’s like kinda traditional yk!! 

bokuto; he loves calling you baby cause he just cannot fathom that you’re his like he loves to always say it!!! and he loves how casual it is too like he can just call you that?? that’s so cool?? 

iwaizumi; again with the traditional but endearing and fitting. he doesn’t have to think too hard on it, but also it still means something and is more than just your name or a shorter version of it. also he sounds so hot calling you baby or babe idk i just know it. 

hanamaki; king of “babe! babe :( babeeee! babee. babe come on! babe! baby :(” you’re 99% sure he’s just provoking you at this point. like say babe one more time. but he actually loves resorting to baby, especially when you’re upset and he wants to be as endearing and kind as he can to you. 

daichi; very traditional too tbh. honestly when you two first started dating it was all he could think of saying without feeling awkward or feeling like he was trying too hard. later on when he started to feel more comfortable and more secure he got more creative. 

nishinoya; he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. the moment he can actually call someone his baby or babe. it’s his favorite and possibly only nickname (aside calling you pretty or gorgeous or handsome) and it will always be. 

MY LOVE ! —

akaashi; definitely definitely definitely calls you “my love” like i am 100% sure of this. akaashi is just so. he’s just so romantic but it’s also so unintentional? he says it because it feels natural and it feels right like you are his love after all, aren’t you? 

sakusa; he’s not one for elaborate nicknames honestly, and he feels like “my love” is the right balance of sweet, kind, fitting, and subtle and serene. it’s not doing too much but it’s also doing more than enough yk? also people that look like they would wear a trench coat/blazer and a turtleneck beneath also look like they would use the term “my love” hence sakusa and akaashi. 

tendō; i am telling you guys he is a simp. the loveliest simp ever. he says it so sweetly too like it genuinely makes your tummy twist and heart backflip when you hear him say it cause you can hear how genuine he is in his words oh my god. 

kita; he just !!! he is just husband material okay!!! he is so endearing and he says it in the softest most genuine voice ever and it’s literally his go to because yes you are his love you’re his entire world!!! he loves you!! he wants you to know it every time he calls out to you!! 

BUNNY/PUPPY ! —

bokuto; ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE LOVES IT. he. loves it. he just finds it so cute and like. he loves the way he associates it with you now. prefers puppy over bunny but like. he loves both. he adores both. 

matsukawa; calls you bunny all the time. not more than doll, but it’s definitely so common. he won’t use it around others not because it’s embarrassing but more because he kinda wants it to be just a thing between the two of you, honestly. 

kenma; IT SLIPPED ONCE AND HE WAS LIKE. A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS. he calls you bunny!! sometimes, not always. when he wants something from you mostly. “pass me the water.” “no.” “bunny please :(” it works like magic every time. 

oikawa; oh my god can you imagine??? he loves it so much because one, he thinks it’s such a cute nickname props to whoever decided let’s use pets as literal pet names, but also two, he thinks nothing describes you or fits you better. you are just his bunny :( his puppy :( he loves you :( 

kageyama; timeskip kageyama calls you puppy. i have nothing more to say.

hinata; timeskip hinata calls you puppy. again, i shall say no more. 

suna; hello !!! he loves to call you bunny and/or puppy. the feel of satisfaction he gets when he calls you that like ,,, he feels like you’re properly his yk? yk.

KITTEN ! — 

kuroo; this one is for him and only him. 

LOVELY ! — (maybe sweetheart too) 

osamu; is there anything more beautiful than a tired osamu snuggling up to yoi and with a deep gravely voice saying, “missed you, lovely,” ? no there is not. it’s his favorite nickname for you, and he uses it all the time!! kisses your forehead as he leaves and tells you, “have a good day, lovely,” and comes back home and says, “hiya, lovely,” and tilts his head when you wanna talk to him about something like, “what’s up lovely?” cause you are his lovely, you’re his loveliest. 

sugawara; i have no other explanation other than i can picture it perfectly. he thinks it’s the best choice of a pet name he’s ever chosen and thought of. and he loves the smile on your face whenever he says it, he thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever <3 

BAE ! —

hanamaki; is it a joke? is it not? both. 

okay im sure i missed so many boys but i can’t think of any rn bc it’s like. hella late :( but i wanted to put something out for you guys!! point is, if i didnt mention a boy and you want to know, send me an ask!! and if i didn’t mention a nickname and you want to know that too? send me an ask well!! ill be happy to answer it <3 

love u all mwah <3 

[hmslusitania]

75+77 for buddie

75. Bed Sharing + 77. In Vino Veritas

I didn't mean to actually end up turning this into a ficlet but, uh, anyway here we are. I think it’s my penance for the fact I’ve had two prompts from you in my inbox for literal months that I haven’t gotten to yet 😬

tw: alcohol use. Nothing happens with it, there isn’t even drunken kissing, but they are drunk for this ficlet, because as the prompt says, there is truth in wine.

-----

The wedding goes off without a hitch.

Buck has never been happier to see Maddie happy. He’s done this one before – walked her down an aisle – but he likes this one so much better than the last time. He likes everything about this wedding better, from the groom (Chimney, of course) to the setting (a vineyard, with the entire attached villa rented out for the wedding party to stay at).

But the party’s wound down now. Mr and Mrs Lee are watching Jee-Yun, and Maddie and Chimney have been bundled off to the bridal suite, and the only people left in the main reception hall are Hen and Karen, slowly revolving in place together even though the music stopped maybe an hour ago.

All that’s left is for Buck to go find his room.

Of course, when he does, it’s full. Buck considers the scene before him, hands on his hips, and finally shakes his head. The three boys – Harry, Denny, Chris – have constructed a pillow fort out of all the bedding in Buck’s room and are sound asleep, still in their formal wear.

Buck’s phone looks a little blurry when he pulls it out to text Athena, Hen, and Eddie to let them know exactly where their boys are, and then he’s got to find somewhere else to sleep. He tiptoes past the kids to get his toothbrush from the bathroom, and as is so often the case, notices exactly how drunk he still is when he catches sight of his own face in the bathroom mirror.

He collects his toothbrush and talks himself down a little and then heads off to try and find somewhere to sleep that hasn’t been utterly ransacked by eleven-year-olds. He only makes it halfway down the hall before he stumbles into Eddie, who seems soberer than he is for all of three seconds before he starts plucking at Buck’s suspenders.

“You’re wearing suspenders,” Eddie announces, hooking his finger under one of the straps and letting it snap back against Buck’s chest.

“Yeah, it’s fancy,” Buck replies. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Chris, I was gonna check on Chris,” Eddie says. He plucks at Buck’s suspender again and giggles at the snapping sound it makes.

“Chris is good, they made a fort in my room,” Buck says. “So I was gonna sleep on the…”

He trails off when he realises he doesn’t actually have an endgame here.

“On the?” Eddie prompts.

Buck shrugs broadly, and with the amount of wine he’s had that night, it messes with his equilibrium enough that he tips backwards. It’s only Eddie’s fingers wrapped around his suspenders that keeps him from going over.

“On the other side of my bed,” Eddie says, and starts pulling him down the hallway. Buck can barely walk backward while he’s sober, so he’s very impressed by Eddie’s ability to do so now.

“Can I borrow your toothpaste?” Buck asks, because it is suddenly the most important thing in the world that he brush his teeth.

Eddie’s face goes deadly serious. “No,” he says. He lets go of one of Buck’s suspenders to open the door behind him and pulls him inside. “No, man, there’s a line in friendship and toothpaste is just—”

Before Buck can do more than tilt his head, confused, Eddie breaks and starts giggling again.

Buck’s never really seen him drunk before, he realises. And when he’s been tipsy, it’s been on beer. Wine-drunk is a whole different ballgame.

“No, of course you can use my toothpaste,” Eddie says. “Do you need to borrow my toothbrush, too?”

Buck holds his own up obligingly.

Brushing your teeth when you’re drunk and giggly and your best friend is also drunk and giggly and keeps bumping into you while trying to brush his own teeth turns out to be a challenge, but they somehow make it through and finally collapse on Eddie’s bed.

They start off in their full suits from the wedding, but after lying there for a few minutes, Buck sits up – ignoring the sudden surge of dizziness – and takes off his jacket so he can slip the suspenders down off his shoulders. He lays back down, spreading his arms out flat across the surface of the bed to try and get his head to stop spinning. A moment later, Eddie sits up and removes his already loose tie from around his neck and drops it off the edge of the bed, followed quickly by his jacket. When he lays back down, it’s on his side and Buck only notes that they forgot to turn the lights off when he realises he can see every detail of Eddie’s face while Eddie stares at him.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Eddie asks at something that is probably supposed to be a whisper.

“Yes, absolutely, please do,” Buck says.

“I love weddings,” Eddie says.

Buck grins at him, oddly endeared that this is a secret.

“Shh,” Eddie says, pressing a shushing finger to Buck’s lips.

Buck goes cross-eyed trying to see Eddie’s finger, and Eddie goes cross-eyed doing the same and then shakes himself.

“I mean, shh,” he says again, this time pressing the finger to his own lips.

Buck makes his best solemn, nodding face.

“Not – not the big ones? With the frilly white dresses and the bridezillas and the terrifying mothers-in-law and stuff,” Eddie says. “But the ones like this where – where you know the sky could fall down around everyone but it would be okay because the people getting married love each other so much.”

“It was nice,” Buck agrees. “Nicer than the last time Maddie got married, too. That was a big frilly dress wedding. I didn’t like that one.”

Eddie wrinkles his nose in distaste. “What about the other weddings you’ve been to?”

It’s hard to tilt his head sideways in confusion when Buck is already lying down but he gives it his best effort. “What other weddings?”

“The other weddings you’ve been to,” Eddie says, which is just the same thing he said before but in a statement instead of a question. “What were they like?”

“I haven’t been to other weddings,” Buck says.

Eddie gasps. “What?”

“The only weddings I’ve been to are Maddie’s,” Buck says.

Eddie doesn’t seem able to comprehend this. “What about your cousins and stuff, though?”

“Don’t have any,” Buck says.

Eddie makes a face at him like this is utterly unacceptable. “Well, when we get married, it’ll be like this. It’ll be nice.”

Buck’s heart does a full three-sixty in his chest. “Say that again?”

“Maybe not a vineyard? Like, somewhere – I don’t know, but I like this with everyone staying over, maybe like a cabin or something? I don’t know,” Eddie says.

“Eddie, we’re not dating,” Buck says.

The look Eddie gives him would be funny in any other circumstance except Buck is way too drunk to handle it right now.

“We’re not?” Eddie asks.

“No,” Buck says. And then, suddenly, he’s second guessing himself. “I don’t think we are, at least?”

“Well, that’s stupid,” Eddie replies. “We should be dating.”

“Obviously,” Buck agrees. “Probably, like, years ago.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Duh.”

“Duh,” Buck echoes, and then bursts out laughing. When Eddie starts laughing again as well, Buck rolls over and tucks his head into Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie wraps and arm around him and Buck hooks a leg around one of Eddie’s.

They’re still entangled when the sun comes up.

Fanfic Trope Mashups!