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amirawrah · 2 days ago

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⭐︎ Everything Real Returns

with JUDE BELLINGHAM⭐︎ requested by @mariejuli

synopsis: They were history—until one hit to the head made him forget the breakup… and remember only her.

note to @mariejuli: girl i love your requests they're good.

You hadn’t even planned on going.

Your dad had an extra ticket, and it felt harmless—just a Real Madrid match, just a Saturday outing. You told yourself it didn’t matter that Jude played here. You were over it. Over him. You’d said it enough times that it had to be true.

You’d even put on a neutral outfit. Nothing that screamed you were there for anyone in particular. You were just a girl in the stands. A stranger in the sea of white jerseys.

But of course, the moment your dad found your seats, you saw her.

Sitting two rows down, just close enough to notice, just far enough to pretend you didn’t. Jude’s current girlfriend. His mom beside her, like always. Laughing at something she said. Like she belonged there.

You adjusted your sunglasses, looked anywhere else, and kept your face unreadable.

It wasn’t that you were bitter. You weren’t. You were just... watching the life that could’ve been yours. The same one you used to live in. Only now, it wore a different face and sat in your old seat.

The game kicked off. And for a moment, the noise helped. You let the chants and stomps drown out the ache in your chest. You clapped when your dad clapped. Smiled when the crowd roared.

And then, in the middle of the first half, Jude looked up.

Just for a second. Eyes scanning the stands. Like he felt something.

Like he knew.

You froze, barely breathing. His gaze landed on you—sharp, deliberate. And then...

Nothing.

He looked straight past you. Blinked. Walked away.

Just another face in the crowd.

Your stomach twisted.

You should’ve expected it. What else was he supposed to do? Smile? Wave? Run across the pitch and ask how you’ve been?

Of course not. You weren’t his anymore.

The match rolled on. Fast, physical, intense. You tried to focus on anything but him. But then—

A clash. A body on the ground. The stadium sucked in a breath.

Jude.

He was down. Not moving.

You stood instinctively, heart hammering. Around you, people murmured. Replays flashed. His head had snapped back in a mid-air collision. You caught the way his body slumped when he hit the grass.

Medical staff rushed in.

You didn’t realize you were gripping the edge of your seat until your dad touched your hand gently.

“They’ll take care of him,” he said.

You nodded, numbly. But something felt off. Heavy. Wrong.

You didn’t know why, but you stayed.

And a short time later, someone from the team’s staff came looking for you.

“He’s awake,” they said. “But... he’s disoriented. He’s asking for his girlfriend. By name.”

You blinked.

“I think he means you.”

You didn’t move at first.

The staff member repeated it—“He’s asking for you.”

Not someone. Not his girlfriend, in a vague way. He said your name. As if it were still written on his tongue like a habit he couldn’t shake. As if all the time and heartbreak in between hadn’t touched his memory at all.

You followed them through quiet tunnels, your steps heavy with disbelief. The hum of the crowd faded behind you. With every turn, your heart pounded louder. You weren’t ready. You hadn’t been ready since the day you walked away from him.

The door to the infirmary cracked open.

And there he was.

Laid out on the cot, shirt off, shoulder wrapped, hair a mess, a thin bruise blooming at his temple—but smiling. Not just at the nurse. At you.

“There you are,” he breathed, eyes lighting up.

You froze.

“Hey,” he said again, softer this time. “I kept asking for you. Thought they weren’t gonna let you in.”

You looked around, waiting for someone to stop this, to explain what was happening.

“Jude,” you said carefully, stepping in. “I—I’m not—”

He sat up too fast, winced, then reached out for you like a reflex.

“No, don’t do that,” he murmured. “Don’t... don’t be mad at me. I’m okay. Just needed you, that’s all.”

You stared at him, stunned. This wasn’t the Jude from the pitch. Not the focused, stoic machine you’d seen play minutes ago. Not the man who looked right through you like you were invisible.

This was your Jude.

The one who used to crawl into your lap when he was too tired to talk. The one who left notes on your mirror in the mornings. The one who once cried in your arms after a match no one else knew had broken him.

He held your gaze like it was anchoring him.

“I had the weirdest dream,” he mumbled. “That we weren’t together. That you were gone. I hated it.”

His fingers brushed your wrist gently, like he didn’t want to scare you off.

“But you’re here now, right?” he whispered. “You’re here, and it’s still us?”

Your throat burned. You didn’t know what to say.

He leaned in, forehead almost touching yours.

“You’re still mine, aren’t you?”

And for a second—just a second—you almost said yes.

Because it felt too real. Too raw. Like the world had paused and spun backward, just for him to look at you like that again.

But you blinked, and the reality returned.

He didn’t know. Not yet.

Not about the months apart. The tears. The silence. The way you had to teach yourself how to live without him. The new girlfriend. The new life.

He was still in the before.

And you were stuck in the after.

Still, you couldn’t leave.

You sat on the edge of the bed, and let him hold your hand like it was sacred.

You didn’t speak, because your voice would betray you.

You just looked at him—at the way his lashes fluttered, how his breathing slowed when you were close, how even bruised and broken, he looked more at peace in this lie than he ever had in the truth.

You stayed until the doctors came back in.

And when they asked him again who they should call, he didn’t hesitate.

“She’s already here,” he said, squeezing your hand. “My girl’s here.”

The door creaked open again, slow and cautious.

You looked up, half-expecting a nurse.

It was his mom.

Denise Bellingham stepped into the room quietly, eyes scanning the scene—the soft way Jude was curled into you, hand still in yours, like his whole body only trusted your presence. The way your fingers hadn’t let go.

She paused.

You stood, flustered, wiping under your eyes even though no tears had fallen yet. Jude blinked at the sound and turned his head, his gaze lighting up again.

“Mum,” he smiled sleepily. “She’s here.”

Denise gave a small, wavering smile back, but her eyes stayed locked on you.

“I see that,” she said gently, voice low. “Hi, love.”

Your chest tightened. You hadn’t seen her since the breakup. The last time you did, she hugged you like a daughter. Now, you weren’t sure what you were to her anymore.

“Hi,” you whispered, voice catching.

She stepped forward slowly, her expression unreadable. Not angry. Not shocked. But emotional, in a way that made your heart ache.

“You alright, sweetheart?” she asked Jude, brushing a hand through his curls like she used to when he was younger.

“I’m good now,” he mumbled, eyes drifting closed. “I just needed her.”

The silence that followed was loud.

Denise turned her eyes to you again.

You knew she’d heard everything. Knew she understood what he thought. Knew she could see the truth, but chose not to say it out loud just yet.

“I’ll step out,” you said quickly, pulling your hand from Jude’s.

But he gripped it tighter. “No—don’t go. Stay, please.”

“Jude—”

He looked up, brows furrowed, eyes pleading. “Why would you want leave me?”

The pain in his voice almost made your knees buckle. You sat back down instinctively, and he exhaled like it was all he needed.

Denise stepped closer and put a hand on your shoulder. Soft. Reassuring.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said quietly, only for you to hear.

“I didn’t expect to be here,” you replied.

She nodded, eyes welling just slightly. “He asked for you right away. Kept saying your name. We thought maybe he meant...”

Her words trailed off, unfinished. You knew what she meant. The new one.

“She’s on her way,” Denise added, more to herself. “This is going to get complicated.”

And right on cue—heels.

Click, click, click down the hallway.

The door swung open a little too hard.

She walked in like she owned the place. Designer coat still buttoned up, not a hair out of place. You didn’t need the nurse’s glance to know this girl wasn’t a regular in Jude’s life—she was performative. Presentable. Pretty. But not warm.

“Oh my God,” she gasped, eyes flicking from Jude to you in half a second. “What’s going on here?”

Jude stirred, squinting at the voice. His grip on your hand loosened slightly, but not all the way.

Denise turned to her with the calm tone only mothers could master.

“He asked for her,” she said.

She laughed, a little too sharp. “Seriously?”

“Lower your voice,” Denise warned.

“I’m his girlfriend,” she snapped, stepping forward.

“Then maybe you should’ve gotten here sooner,” Denise replied, cutting and calm.

The girl went quiet.

Jude blinked again, looking between the two of them, then back at you. His expression shifted—confused. Uneasy.

He pulled his hand away from yours slowly.

“Wait... what’s going on?” he asked, voice groggy. “Why are you both here?”

The room felt like it tilted.

You stood up carefully, your heart cracking at the loss of his warmth.

“Jude,” you whispered. “You hit your head. You’ve been... a little out of it. You thought we were still...”

Your voice failed.

He looked at you harder now, his confusion turning into realization. He glanced at his mom, then the girl standing awkwardly with her arms crossed. His eyes returned to yours—softer now, flickering with something that looked a lot like grief.

“Oh,” he said quietly.

You nodded once. “Yeah.”

No one moved.

Denise broke the silence. “I’ll give you three a minute.”

She gave your hand a gentle squeeze before walking out, shooting you a look only you could understand. The kind that said: I’m still on your side. Always was.

And now it was just the three of you.

Jude looking at you like you were a memory he wasn’t ready to relive.

You standing there with everything unsaid.

And the girl in the doorway, rolling her eyes, already pulling out her phone like she was bored.

The silence was unbearable.

You could feel the tension swirling between all three of you, thick enough to choke on.

Jude sat upright now, the initial daze from his injury slowly fading. He looked between you and her, piecing things together in real time—and every second, you could see it hit him harder.

“I thought...” he started, then stopped.

His eyes found yours again, and something in them cracked.

“I thought you were still mine.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “You’re not the only one who thought that, apparently.”

She scoffed from the doorway. “Are you seriously doing this right now, Jude?”

He flinched. Like her voice cut deeper than expected.

“You were unconscious,” she continued, her tone sharp and defensive. “You got hit in the head and woke up asking for her. You didn’t even say my name once.”

“That’s not fair—” he started, but she rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I’m being unfair?” She folded her arms. “I show up to the here to be with my boyfriend, and he’s playing house with his ex who—what? Just happened to show up looking like she still belongs to him?”

That last part was aimed at you. Venom in her voice. Insecurity in her eyes.

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t need to. The weight of Jude’s stare said enough.

“You don’t get it,” Jude said quietly, still looking at you. “When I woke up, I felt like I was home. Like I’d had this horrible dream where I lost her and I just—I panicked.”

“Yeah?” his girlfriend snapped. “Well, guess what? That wasn’t a dream. She’s gone, Jude. I’m the one here now. You moved on, remember?”

He turned to her finally, brows pinched.

“Did I?”

She blinked. “What?”

“Did I really move on?” he asked, voice rough around the edges. “Or did I just pretend I did because I didn’t know how to live without her?”

You couldn’t breathe.

His girlfriend looked like she’d been slapped. “Wow.”

“You didn’t see the way I fell apart,” Jude went on, his voice low and unraveling. “She did. You didn’t know the version of me that wasn’t scoring goals or doing press—she did. She held that version. And I let her go.”

He turned back to you, eyes shining now. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Your heart was in your throat.

But you shook your head slowly. “Don’t do that, Jude. Not while you’re with someone else.”

“I shouldn’t be,” he said instantly. “I should’ve never been.”

The room pulsed with silence.

His girlfriend took a shaky breath. “So... what? You’re just done with me now?”

Jude didn’t answer.

He just kept staring at you like the world could fall apart and he’d still be reaching for your hand.

You finally spoke, voice soft and honest. “You’re hurt. Confused. Don’t make decisions when your head isn’t clear.”

“But I am clear,” he whispered. “For the first time in a long time.”

That was when his girlfriend stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

You didn’t move.

Neither did he.

“I’m sorry,” Jude said quietly. “I’m sorry I let you go. I’m sorry I didn’t fight for us. I thought I was doing the right thing. But waking up and thinking you were still mine... it felt like breathing again.”

You blinked fast. “I didn’t come here to reopen this.”

“I know. But maybe it needed to be you know?.”

He reached for your hand again. This time slower. More fragile.

“I don’t know what happens next,” he said. “But I do know I don’t want to keep pretending I’m over you.”

Your fingers trembled, caught in his.

And for the first time in forever, you didn’t pull away.

The next day, the Bellingham house was quiet.

Jude sat in the living room, nursing the side of his temple with an ice pack and a blanket still draped over his shoulders. He looked like he hadn’t slept—probably hadn’t. His mom sat across from him, mug of tea in hand, eyes never leaving his face.

“So,” she said finally, breaking the silence. “Do you want to talk to me about what happened? And I mean really talk.”

Jude sighed. “I thought she was still mine.”

Denise nodded slowly, taking a sip. “I know.”

“She came in and everything just... clicked. Like no time had passed.”

“She always had that effect on you.”

Jude leaned back into the couch. “I messed up, Mum.”

“I know that too.”

He looked over at her, guilt painting his expression. “Why didn’t you ever say anything? That you missed her. That you thought she was the one.”

She tilted her head. “Because you weren’t ready to hear it. And it wasn’t my choice to make.”

He swallowed, throat dry. “She looked at me yesterday like she didn’t know if she hated me or pitied me.”

“No, Jude. She looked at you like she still loved you. And that scared her.”

He didn’t say anything for a while. Just sat with that.

“She’s not gonna let me come back easy, is she?” he finally asked.

“No,” Denise said. “Not if she’s smart. Which she is.”

Jude gave a tired smile. “Yeah.”

Denise leaned forward, setting her mug down. “So the question is: are you going to earn your way back into her life, or are you just going to sit here and feel sorry for yourself?”

He looked at her. “You really think I could?”

“I think if there’s anyone in this world who could make her believe in second chances,” she said gently, “it’s you.”

Later that week, things started to shift.

The press had already caught wind of something unusual. Jude’s sudden injury during the game. The strange delay after he woke up. The fact that his current girlfriend had unfollowed him and Jobe’s Instagram.

Then came the photo.

A blurry hospital hallway shot, clearly taken on a nurse’s phone, showing Jude with his head tilted against someone’s shoulder. Not the girlfriend’s. Yours.

No face. Just the outline. The posture. But it was enough.

Twitter went insane.

“Isn't that Jude's ex??”

“Lowkey think he never got over her. He never looked right with the other one.”

Your phone blew up with texts. Your dad even asked if he should’ve “dressed better for the game in case people were watching.”

And Jude? Jude didn’t hide.

He didn’t make a statement. But he didn’t deny anything either. Just posted a picture of him on his story just to tell some fans that he's alright.

The internet buzzed.

But for once, you didn’t care about the noise.

Because two nights later, there was a knock at your door.

And there he was. Hoodie, cap, fresh flowers in hand.

Not the Jude from Real Madrid. Not the public version of him.

Just the boy who once said you made the world feel like summer.

“I’m not here to ask for a second chance,” he said softly. “I’m here to earn it.”

You stared at him. At the flowers. At the way his eyes searched yours like a question he wasn’t sure he deserved the answer to.

“…Wanna come in?” you whispered.

And he nodded. Because this time, he wasn’t walking away.

Four months later and you and jude had done it differently this time.

No soft-launches. No secret vacations in Ibiza. No sneaky paparazzi spotting you through tinted windows. You and Jude rebuilt everything from the inside first—where it mattered most.

There were long phone calls into the early morning, where he let you unpack all the hurt without cutting you off.

There were days where he showed up at your place with groceries just because he knew you hadn’t eaten yet. Nights where you fell asleep on his chest, and he’d whisper, “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

And there was therapy.

For both of you. Separately. Together.

Jude was softer now. Still fiery on the pitch, still relentless with his goals—but when it came to you, he slowed down. Looked you in the eyes. Asked before assuming. Apologized when needed. Listened.

Denise, of course, had welcomed you back with open arms, acting like you’d never left. Jobe even joked, “Y’all back together? Cool. Now I can stop pretending to like the other one.”

The media eventually stopped prying. Especially when it was clear Jude wasn’t interested in fueling the noise. He only smiled at questions about you.

But the real moment?

The real public moment?

That happened one evening at Santiago Bernabéu.

You hadn’t planned to go, but Denise really wanted you to be there. Just a chill match. Real Madrid vs Sevilla. Nothing high-stakes.

Until halftime.

Jude had scored a banger right before the whistle. The crowd went wild. His teammates swarmed him. Cameras followed him as he jogged to the sideline.

And then, without warning...

He looked up.

Right at your box seat.

Hand over his heart. Smile soft. That same look—the one from the hospital.

The one that said: I never stopped choosing you.

Commentators caught it instantly. Fans screamed. Denise nudged you.

And the internet?

“Jude just hit us with the hardest ‘she’s mine’ look ever 😭,Bro scored, looked up at her like shes magic,okay but I felt that. He’s in love love.”

Later that night, he posted a photo on IG: just a blurry selfie of the two of you after the game, your head on his shoulder, your nose scrunched up mid-laugh.

Caption: “Everything real comes back❤️.”

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lieslab · 19 hours ago

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And I heard about the twister that lives inside your heart

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Felix X gn reader

Summary: You breakup with your boyfriend, unable to cope with your rapidly declining terminal illness, but he refuses to let you fight alone.

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 8k

Trigger warning: Terminal illness, stages of grief, hospice care, descriptions of the body shutting down and death.

A/N: This has torn my heart to shreds. If that's me, I can't imagine what you'll experience. Terminal illness is horrible and brings unimaginable pain to everyone involved. To the requestee, I hope this is what you were looking for. Please grab your tissues before you start, you'll need them <3

_ _ _

Feelings could be fatal. Felix knew that. You could call it naivety, but he called it love. Felix knew he loved you from the first day he saw you. The way the breeze flew through your hair and cherry blossom petals rained down behind you.

Your eyes scanned the area. You were searching for something and it certainly wasn’t the love of your life. When your eyes caught his, a soft pink flushed your cheeks. His freckled cheeks pushed up into a smile, two dimples appeared, and he gave you a brief wave.

Your own smile grew and you returned his wave. In those few seconds, he threw away the need to rush to the company building. They wouldn’t miss him for a few extra minutes. He introduced himself and you greeted him. Before he knew your name, he knew his heart was yours.

Such a cliche k-drama moment, he talked about meeting you all the time. Whenever he got the chance, he brought it up. Recounting the way the petals drifted towards your body, as if they were magnetized by your being, just as he was. The sunlight reflected in your eyes in a way that made your soul shine.

Some group members scoffed, shoving their fingers in their ears, waving him away, and throwing shots of disapproving groans. Not yet taken captive by their own lovers, they couldn’t stand such a cheesy romance. Other members felt the opposite way. A brightness when Felix’s head perked up. He spoke with his hands, gesturing and pouring out his endearment for you. People didn’t know Felix without knowing you.

Jeongin happened to be one of these members. He listened to Felix’s words about you non-stop. When Felix talked about the dates you went on, he took silent notes. If any member could pull someone and make them the happiest person on earth, it was Felix.

A walking ray of sunlight, hand crafted by Apollo himself. Embedded with charm and charisma. A whimsy childlike wonder coddled his heart and kept him young. Jeongin took note of that, too.

The cheesy pickup lines. The apology gifts for occasionally doing the wrong thing and hurting your feelings. The special presents, not for a specific reason, but just because he could. Because maybe, deep down, the tiny trinket of your favorite animal would look cute on your side of the nightstand.

He purchased you some of the things you talked about. The way your eyes always widened and your smile grew. Sometimes, you never fully pulled the gift from the bag all the way. Instead, you leapt into his arms, covering his face with kisses. Treating him with your very own personalized thank-yous.

Felix tried not to talk about you all the time. He knew things existed outside of you, but you were the love of his life. Life is full of beautiful things and you were one of them. He told the world about you.

From brief conversations with strangers, complimenting their outfits that you shared traits with, to showing you off on his arm at formal events. His heart stitched to yours. Smitten from day one, he thought you’d be his forever.

Jeongin grew used to this idea as well. So when he awoke to Seungmin shaking him and informing him something was wrong with you and Felix, on a starless night, he panicked. He jerked himself upright with tendrils of dark hair sticking up like he’d been zapped with lightning.

He shoved himself into a hoodie and slides. Each footstep that landed closer to Felix and Seungmin’s dorm, it brewed anxiety in his chest. You weren’t just Felix’s significant other, you turned into one of Jeongin’s closest friends. He cared about the two of you immensely.

A soft hand knocked on the outer oakwood of Felix’s bedroom door. “Felix? It’s Innie, please let me in.”

“Go away.” His voice seeped with sadness. “Just leave me alone, please.” A sniffle followed up his plea.

It killed him. The idea of his group mate and one of his brothers tucked alone inside his room, he hated it. He took a step forward, pushed open the door, and slid inside. What he saw caused his heart to drop.

Felix sat up in his bed with his white comforter tucked over his shoulders. His usual honeyed freckles sat red and swollen. Beneath his eyes, tears glistened over the tops of each cheek.

“Felix, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s over, Innie. It’s all over.”

“Huh?”

“They broke up with me over text. I don’t know what I did. They won’t respond to me. They left a long paragraph, stating they were moving away. What did I do, Innie?” His bottom lip quivered and more tears filled his eyes. “What did I do?”

“Lix…” His voice came out softly. He imagined all the things he could have done in a split second. A broken sob fell from Felix’s chest. With squeezed shut eyes, he tucked the blanket tighter to his body; trying to seek out the comfort your warmth could no longer provide.

Behind him, Seungmin stood silently in the doorway. His face fell from the news. The last few days, his brain tuned through the conversations with Felix. No fights. No bitter arguments. From what he remembered, everything had been working out for you two.

Jeongin stepped forward once and then again. He leaned forward, parading into the bed besides Felix’s body. Just as Felix did to him so many times before, he pushed himself closer to the broken man.

Occasionally, even the sun needs to experience the comfort and softness of the sky’s blanketing clouds.

~ ~ ~

On a grassy cliff, you overlooked the beach down below. Above you, seagulls squawked and squalled. They swarmed, desperate for food, but you didn’t have any. Nourishment for your own body was the last thing on your mind, let alone food for the birds.

Silky blue waves pushed white foam against the rocks below. You sent the break up message to Felix and then hit block. Some would call you a coward, but you called it love. Love is always dangerous and this one wasn’t much different.

For a few minutes, you teetered on the edge of the cliff. Not planning to jump, but rather reminding yourself you were human. You could feel the sea spray from up here. The squawks of life from above. The garbles and playful water splashes of the aquatic life below the crashing waves.

You existed somewhere in between at this moment. Somewhere between soaring high above the heads of everyone you loved and slipping beneath the gentle waves of the sea. Soft tendrils of bright green grass wrapped around your ankles. They tethered you to earth, a gentle reminder that you weren’t alone.

Life has a tendency to knock you down when life is going great. Just when you think you might get to soar, you’re a few feet off the ground and you’re dropped again. Another challenge. A new task and what will it result in? Do you manage to accomplish it with pride, or let it drag you off your feet and pin you to the ground?

Life felt that way recently. You and Felix were browsing apartments. Nothing too official yet, but just ideas. It had been the next step of your relationship. Eventually, marriage and a house. A family? You debated, but there wasn’t a solid conclusion. You never strayed from that truth until now.

You loved Felix with your entire heart. When you stayed over at his dorm and awoke to the constellation of freckles, you understood why people loved the stars so much. Patterns and small detailings in between life’s fine print. An entire secret that only few people understood and gained the grasp of.

Throughout history, multiple people found similar patterns in the sky. They recorded them, gave them names, and pulled stories from them. Felix’s freckles made you an astronomer in your own special way. With a single swipe of your thumb against his cheek, you could recall all the memories.

His freckles brightened on the sunnier days. In the winter, they paled. You hated when they were dulled over with makeup. He insisted they were still there, but you forced yourself not to reach up with a licked thumb and rub it away. His makeup artists hid them without a second thought. They erased history.

No matter how hard the next part of your life would be, you had to face it alone. As uncomfortable and unwanted it was, you vowed not to bring him down with you. You couldn’t and you wouldn’t.

You would not let Felix pull off his helmet and lose himself in the deep dark diagnosis of your terminal illness. Your satellites crashed. The spaceship nosedived. You ran on fumes.

Your brain screamed mayday, but your heart chose peace; death with dignity, even if it hurt.

~ ~ ~

Felix used to sleep peacefully at night. Now he jerked upright with shaky breaths. His arms reached out for you, squirming and grabbing in the darkness, he never found you again. The heartstopping realization that it wasn’t just a dream. This was real life and you were gone from his.

You blocked his number.

He showed up at your apartment door banging, but you didn’t appear. The door didn’t swing open. He tried to knock on the windows, doing anything he could to reach you through the white siding and aged bricks. You never heard. You weren’t home.

He moped. His teary face buried into the cold pillow and he screamed. Seungmin’s nights were busted open with the grief of his roommate. The first few times, he rushed into Felix’s room to settle him down.

It stopped the night Felix locked his door. Seungmin grabbed the knob, but it didn’t turn. Inside, his limbs kicked and tangled in the blankets. Sweat caused his t-shirt to stick to his skin. He shrieked, calling out for you, but you never came.

Even in his dreams, you never showed up. If it weren’t for the pictures of you in his phone, he might have assumed he dreamt it all. Your bright eyes and familiar smile. Your hands connected together like puzzle pieces. Where did you go?

He started to take his attention to the night sky. Restless and missing you, he dropped himself in front of his window. Star-filled constellations, the ones you compared his freckles to. What a privilege it was to be seen in nature.

When a glowing white orb swooped across the night sky, he weakly whispered your name. Nothing else mattered besides you. Where did you go? Somewhere beneath the blanket of darkness, you had to be drawn to something, or maybe someone.

Did he do something wrong? It wasn’t cheating. Arguments hadn’t occurred in quite a while. The two of you hated bucking heads and when you did, you were both sure to come to a conclusion, or pause the high-filled emotions to walk away for a break.

“You walked away, but you’ll come back, right? Come back to me, baby.” Moonlight reflected in his teary eyes. He clutched his arms around himself tighter, wishing it was you. “Just… just come back.”

He barely uttered your name before collapsing and burying a sob in his hand, trying not to awaken Seungmin.

~ ~ ~

It took a few days before you agreed to meet with Jeongin, but you didn’t go to his dorm. You couldn’t tell Felix about this. You didn’t want to tell Jeongin, but when he called you in a shaky voice, you knew he was crying. It broke your heart. If this was Jeongin, you couldn’t imagine how Felix must feel.

You texted him the address and waited inside the set of double glass doors. Behind you, a bright pastel yellow soaked the walls. Bright and happy colors to try and pull you away from your impending doom. You tried to stay positive, but gloom haunted these halls.

You sensed it on the first day you moved in. Assigned to a small room with an attached bathroom. A closet to hold clothes, a desk with a single chair, and a TV stand welded into the wall with a flat screen TV.

The lilac bedding mocked you. The sage green walls reminded you of life. All the lush green things you’d leave behind. The simplest things like the scallions topping your scrambled eggs and the color of your favorite body wash.

Those that were more prominent; soft grass beneath your feet, the earthy and warm scent of ozone when rain approached darkened skies, the towering green swaying in the wind when you looked up in the middle of the forest.

The staff tried to make the outdoors exciting. Black metal benches perched around the exterior. In the back, a garden adorned with flowers blossoming in every direction. Ivy grown arches you could walk beneath. Stone bird baths that bright birds dipped their heads in and shimmied their feathers, no matter the weather.

You grew to hate the birds. Their happy warbles, their chirps, and the way they could flutter away from their problems with ease. You wished you could be a bird, it’d be so much easier than this.

When you spotted Jeongin’s car pull into the parking lot and enter a space, you finally pushed open one of the glass doors to approach him. He slowly stepped out of his car, staring at the red-bricked building in shock.

“Why are you-”

“Living in a hospice center? Because I was thinking about pregnancy and bringing another life into this earth.” You weakly chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but Jeongin’s head shook.

“Why are you really here?”

“Because I’m dying, Jeongin.”

His face fell. You stared at him, taking in every small detail. The straight dark brows and half-moon eyes. Your heart would inflate with happiness when you made him laugh so hard, he leaned back and squeezed his eyes shut. As if shutting his eyes would make the humor disappear. Usually, it’d lead into more teasing and taunting. Today, an empty silence blanketed the two of you.

“What?”

“I have a terminal illness.”

“Terminal?”

“I can’t be cured, Jeongin.” You tried to smile and reassure him that you’d be fine, but you couldn’t get the corners of your mouth to lift high enough.

You pulled away from the people you loved because you denied it. Because maybe you couldn’t see their faces, feel their warmth, and go to bed at night, only for your brain to remind you that you’d be gone soon.

Terminal illness cannot be cured. Incurable. Irreversible. A punishment that nobody expects, but humans are doomed to fall victim to it, regardless.

When cancer riddles your body and leaves you broken.

When the brain’s functions decline and your cognitive ability starts to speed downhill like an olympic winter toboggan.

When disease infects a vital organ and tears apart the relationship it has with your body, it starts shutting down.

A variety of different kinds are out there. You just never thought it’d be you. Not at this age. Not at this point in your life. Not now.

You just started to live, but death is greedy. It takes and it takes and it takes. It is never enough. Death will never have enough. Hands soaked with blood and an engorged stomach full of souls and their fading warmth. Today, it looms behind you. Tomorrow, it steps closer.

Anxiety burrows and nausea builds, but we never escape it. There is no leaving this life without the help of death. Whether you deny it, or accept it, you denied it. Death is cruel and you learned it at a young age.

Family dinners grew smaller as it picked out family members. It took pets from the safety of the four walls that you called home. How do you live with the realization that you are meant to die sooner than most?

“You need to tell Lix. He’s broken without you. He’s miserable and-”

“I can’t,” you whispered. “I can’t do that to him and I won’t. He can’t know about this, Jeongin. This will destroy him.”

“It’ll destroy him more if he doesn’t know you’re suffering through this alone.”

“Innie...”

“Please, you-”

“Jeongin!” You snapped as tears burned in your lower lids. “I can’t tell my boyfriend I’m dying! I-I just-” Your bottom lip quivered. “I-I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!”

Sensing you were about to break, he reached out to steady you. That’s when your arms wrapped around him tightly. You sobbed in his arms, terrified of it all. What did you do to deserve this? How do you cope with the anxiety and accept that death is striding towards you without stopping?

Your own body, the thing saving you since birth, it’s not enough to shield your soul. Some higher power, some natural thing, it comes no matter what.

What a curse that your death came before your life could really begin.

~ ~ ~

The hospice center was imprinted on the inside of Jeongin’s eyelids. He couldn’t sleep. The nurses from earlier kept him up. How anyone found comfort by working with the dying, he didn’t know. People shouldn’t have to die, but they did.

Blocks away, you laid on your deathbed and Felix didn’t know. You knew, Jeongin knew, but not Felix. With each breath, the balloon of guilt grew. What if you died without Felix being able to say goodbye? It’d kill him. The guilt would drown him.

In a spur of the moment decision, he shoved off his blankets and pushed them off. He slipped on his slides, grabbed his car keys, and headed outside. On the way out of the dorm he shared with Chan, he dialed Felix’s number.

After midnight, Felix was half asleep at the window. Curled on the floor with a cheek pressed against the window seal, his eyes groggily opened at the sound of a vibration. He sniffled and sat up, swiping at the phone to answer the call. “Hello?”

“Felix?”

“Innie, are you okay? You sound worried. What’s wrong?” He sat up with a yawn. Brushing back his messy hair, he adjusted the phone to his ear when Jeongin blubbered. “What did you say?”

“I need you to come meet me in the driveway with my car in it.”

“Is something wrong?”

“You need to know something.”

“I’m coming.” He rushed into the apartment’s entryway and shoved his feet into his still-tied shoes. Jeongin hung up on him, waiting for his arrival.

He didn’t have to wait long. Felix appeared less than two minutes with his phone still in his hand. “Hey, are you alright?”

Tears pricked at Jeongin’s eyes and he shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I need to tell you. I called and talked to-”

Felix cut him off and stepped forward. “Really? They answered the phone? Are they okay?”

The words vacuumed from his throat. How do you tell someone you love their significant other is dying? You were back in a bed, surrounded by the fading souls of others, slowly dying. He shook his head frantically and pawed at his eyes with his sweater.

“They’re at a hospice facility. They said it’s a terminal illness, Lix.”

He couldn’t breathe. His dark eyes stayed focused on Jeongin. Through the dark, he reached out and gripped his wrist. “What kind of sick fucking joke are you playing, Jeongin?” He squeezed his wrist tighter, too afraid to face the truth.

“You’re hurting me,” he whispered. He tried to tug away, but Felix squeezed harder. “I can take you there. I’ll take you there right now. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t keep it a secret. I can’t watch you suffer. Neither of you. I-I can’t.”

“How long do they have left?”

“The doctors are saying three months at most.”

“What hospice place?”

“The one right by the catholic church on-”

Felix didn’t wait for an answer. He spun around and took off into the darkness of the night. Jeongin called his name, but he didn’t stop. You were dying and he didn’t know. You didn’t break up with him because you hated him, you called it quits because you were dying.

White street lights blurred through his tears. Each one put a spotlight on his silhouette. Cruel higher powers watched in mockery. What happened to God and prayers? What happened to prayers being answered?

He couldn’t breathe. The air in his lungs ran out back in the driveway. It came out in whimpers and pants for air. His throat suffocated. You weren’t meant for the earth to take back. The ground couldn’t hold you like he could. It wasn’t warm enough. You’d never be able to see the sun from six feet below.

Immortalization and praise. Paradise and pleasure. The family he’d never get to start. His legs pushed harder, he ran faster. The wind roared through his hair and he screamed your name in the darkness.

He wanted an outstretched hand. An explanation. A cure. Something to bring you back and keep you alive. He’d give it all up to save you. Whatever organ you needed, you could have his. He’d die if it meant you could stay alive. Anything you needed, he’d give it. He’d give his everything to keep you safe.

The heavy thumps of his heart, the ticking time bomb of yours. Every breath he took, another you lost. He ran in your direction, stumbling and screeching your name. You slept soundlessly in a dreamless sleep.

Near the end of the road, the curb caught his ankle. He jerked forward, shoving out his hands to stop himself. The pavement scraped and drew blood. God kicked him in the back, a reminder that not even the bravest and loyalist believers could stop his will from unwinding.

Shaky breaths turned into choked out sobs. A dog with no home. A lover with no life. You were everything to him. What happens when everything is ripped away? When the goals are jerked from the journal before the accomplishments? Your body withered away and yet, you still craved life.

Headlights shone behind him. He dropped to the ground defeated. His fingernails dug into the concrete and a sob escaped his throat. Familiar voices called his name. Chan got there before Jeongin.

He pulled up the younger member and tugged him to his chest tight. Felix uttered your name again, unable to stop the louder sobs. The current of life changed. The tides shifted and pulled you under.

You cannot always save the people you love, especially not in the snarling face of death.

~ ~ ~

In the morning, you awoke to something soft stroking your cheek. You mumbled Jeongin’s name, thinking he somehow stumbled into your room. Instead, you found the familiar eyes of your boyfriend. His lips quivered before they smiled.

“Hi, there.”

“Lix?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry. Jeongin told me everything and I’m not leaving you on your own for this.”

You couldn’t be mad. Maybe, deep down, you told Jeongin because you knew he’d tell Felix. It’d take the pressure off of you. You’d never be able to explain it in full detail without breaking down.

Perhaps, you’d been chasing your tail in denial because now that Felix was here, acceptance slipped between the two of you. A silent, but necessary evil. Neither of you could stop this ending. You’d try to do whatever it took, but people don’t leave hospice alive.

“I should be the one apologizing,” you whispered. “I was selfish.”

“You were scared. This is scary. It’s better to be scared together.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you. I feel like I ruined you. I made you fall in love and now…”

“You could never disappoint me.” He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “I love you and you’re mine.”

“I love you, too.”

“Scoot over. I’m not leaving you here to fight this alone.”

~ ~ ~

You loved one another endlessly and it flowed effortlessly. Your love ended in a doomsday. Your time was limited. Felix took a hiatus, wanting to be there with you through everything.

You refused to let your terminal illness break you. The first two weeks, it almost felt like staying at a hotel, if you took away the staff members coming in to check on you. Felix stayed with you after purchasing an air mattress. He refused to let you be alone.

In the third week, he brought you a notebook and a pen. You stared at it with a raised eyebrow. “What’s this for?”

“I figured you could make a bucket list.”

“But I’m in hospice?”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t dream. I mean, they probably won’t recommend you go skydiving, but there’s other things you can do.”

He leaned forward, gently taking the pen from your hand. He wrote a bullet point and the words ‘fancy dinner.’ You glanced over and chuckled. “Really?”

“What? I’m thinking of something really nice. Whatever you want, just let me know. Steak? Sushi? Korean Barbeque? You just let me know and we’ll go.” He reached over, gently booping the tip of your nose with the pen, and placed it back in your dominant hand.

You glanced down at the empty stripes of notebook paper. A bucket list wasn’t really something you thought much of, especially now that you were in hospice. You bit your lip, wanting to think of something.

“I’ve got it!” You jerked forward, scribbling something out. “That’s what I wanna do.”

Felix’s face softened. “Really? You mean it?”

“A hundred percent. Of course, I mean it. I don’t know how. Not enough time, but I think if we-”

“We’ll figure it out.”

You nodded and your eyes met his. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and hugging you in a tight hug. A quick kiss to your nose, right where the pen tapped you. Your arms returned the favor. A soft sigh escaped your lips and you relaxed.

You’d be okay dying in his arms like this. ~ ~ ~

Death lingered, but you roared. Using what time you had left, you did it all. In a final trip at the grocery store, you and Felix argued over what flavor of milk was better. Strawberry or chocolate? It lasted nearly the entire shopping trip.

The two of you went back to his dorm. Seungmin went over to bother Changbin and Hyunjin. You’d seen the guys in passing, but you didn’t see them too much. They all grew fond of you. Seeing you now and knowing you’d be gone soon, it was a hard pill to swallow.

“You’re going to burn the vegetables!” You called over your shoulder.

“Hey! No, I’m not!” Felix laughed and stirred the multicolored veggies in the pan. “Shut up and focus on your own dish.”

“Telling a dying person to shut up is crazy work.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! Come ‘er!”

You let him grab your waist and spin you around. A dizziness settled over you. You smiled, regardless. His hands slipped to your hips and he gently squeezed. The fullness of your body melted away the less and less you consumed.

Your fancy dinner turned into a home cooked meal. Not that you were complaining, it beat hospice food. You were due to return there later tonight. Until then, you and Felix were up to your usual antics.

You teased him and he teased you. You playfully bumped into one another, careful enough not to cause accidents. Felix placed you in a kiss the cook apron. Every time he could, he snuck kisses on your bare skin. Not sure how much time you had left, he took advantage of it.

You squeaked and shivered as he pushed another soft kiss into the back of your neck. “You can’t do that! That’s cheating!”

He mocked you in a high-pitched voice. You spun around, reaching out to weakly grip his throat. You started to laugh, but it turned to coughing. The playful energy in the air ceased instantly.

“Easy, easy. I’m sorry.” He pushed your hair back from your face. “Deep breath in and out.” His other hand went to your back, rubbing it to support you. “Do you need some water?”

You nodded, a little embarrassed you ruined the fun. Just when you forgot you were dying, it came back to bite you in the ass. A brutal reminder that each second between the two of you was precious.

He gently squeezed your shoulder before walking away and heading to the cupboard. He grabbed a glass and you forced slow deep breaths. Your body shut down more and more as the days went by.

You could feel it. Your limbs felt heavier. Your body, more sluggish. Your brain became slower. Thoughts were on the tip of your tongue and then disappeared.

When he reappeared with a glass of ice water, he pushed it to your chapped lips. You tipped your head back and slowly sipped. It soothed the aching sides of your throat. For whatever reason, your mouth felt drier; an interior sahara desert that you couldn’t shake.

“Let’s take it easier, yeah?”

You hummed. He pulled the water away and sat it on the counter. You hated to admit it, but the hospice staff were right. They allowed you to venture out with Felix, as long as you were up for it, but warned you that as time went on, you probably wouldn’t have the energy.

All the extra oomph and fun on your bucket list, you had to make adjustments. Hospice staff wanted you checked in at certain times. You were supposed to be an inpatient. You assumed they let you slip out more than usual because you were younger.

Some of the older people were stuck in their beds. Heavy limbs, death rattles, and the faint whirring of oxygen tanks. Death wasn’t a constant thing. Some people had a few weeks and others were like you, they had a few months left.

Regardless, a hospice inpatient center wasn’t a good place for a rowdy couple still head-over-heels in love. You wanted to run. They lectured you. When you laughed too hard at something Felix said while a nurse checked on you, she shot the two of you an unamused glare.

Not because she was mean, but because she grew worried. All the laughing and screwing around, it wasted your energy. You didn’t want to conserve it. You couldn’t. Death was coming and your time was still limited.

“Felix?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I think we should do that last thing on our bucket list this week.”

He glanced back to look at you over his shoulder. His heart ached, knowing what that meant, but he nodded. “I’ll talk to the guys and we’ll do it.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Stop getting so sappy, you’re going to make me burn the vegetables.” He stuck his tongue out and laughed at you.

“You started it!”

~ ~ ~

Two days later, the two of you stood in thrifted outfits. You held hands out in the back of Chan and Jeongin’s dorm. The rest of the guys speckled around. Jeongin stood with a bible open. “I’m so glad I get to carry out my dream of becoming a priest before you die.”

“You’re welcome.”

The guys sat in a plethora of lawn chairs. Jeongin stood beneath a gazebo and glanced between you and Felix. “Are the two of you ready to begin?” The sun and the guys became your witnesses.

You nodded and Felix agreed. His thumbs slowly brushed along the back of your hand. Jeongin sighed and read off a random passage of vows he found online. “Do you take Lee Felix to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

Felix blinked rapidly, squeezing your hands a little tighter. You smiled and nodded your head. “I do.”

“And Felix, do you take-”

“Shut up. I do. Of course, I do. Lawfully wedded spouse, from this day forward, better, or worse, or whatever. In sickness and until death do us part. Blah, blah, blah. I don’t care about that part. I just want to kiss you.”

In the background, laughter appeared. Jeongin sighed and shut the bible. “Well, I guess I didn’t need that. Go ahead, you may kiss the-”

Gasps filled the air. You squealed. Felix wrapped an arm around you and dipped you down, causing one of your feet to leave the ground. When the warmth of his lips met yours, your hands cupped his cheeks.

Jeongin blinked rapidly, trying not to cry. A few of the others looked the same way. When Felix pulled away and placed you back on your feet, a warm and fuzzy feeling filled your heart. He grinned at you and booped your nose.

“Alright,” Chan clapped in the background and shoved himself to his feet. “It’s time to cook the lamb and sides. Who wants to do what?”

When you offered to do something, he shook his head and waved you away with Felix. “I think Felix wanted to discuss something with you.” He winked at Felix and spun around, dishing out roles to the other guys.

You glance back to find Felix. He smiled and grabbed your hand. “Yeah, sorry. I wanted to do the ring exchange away from everyone.”

“Oh, I forgot about the rings. That’s one of the most important parts and I-”

“It’s okay, I’ve got it.” He grabbed your hand and led you away from the guys and the grill. Across the way, he stopped in his and Seungmin’s backyard.

As carefully as he could, he pulled out a velvet box from his pocket and opened it to reveal two rings. Your face softened instantly. “They’re gorgeous.” The pair of rings sat snug between black velvet padding.

“I got us both rings with our birthstone colors. Mine is sapphire, but it doesn’t matter. You can either pick that, or yours. It’s entirely up to you.”

“I want yours. I want to take a piece of you with me to the grave.”

“Do you have to remind me that you’re dying so often?”

“I can’t let you forget.”

He playfully rolled his eyes, grabbed the sapphire jeweled ring, and slowly placed it on your ring finger. You picked out yours and grabbed his hand. You hesitated for a moment, noting how warm his hands were. Lately, yours has lost their warmth far too quickly for your liking.

“Hey, are you okay? It’s okay if you want that ring, really, it-”

“I’m okay. Just thinking.” You slipped the ring on his ring finger and held it up to the sparkling sun. “This fits you well. It looks beautiful with your skin tone.”

“And the band color matches. Look at us. We did it! Kinda. We’re married! In theory, that’s all that matters.”

You laughed and nodded. He reached out, cupping the side of your cheek. He kissed your forehead affectionately and pulled back. “Before we go back to the others, I wanted to read something I wrote to you.”

He pulled a folded piece of paper from the breast pocket of his suit and stepped back. “If you were to tell me our love story would end with you dying months ago, I would have laughed. I would have dubbed it absurd and moved on with my life. Over these past few weeks, my world has shattered, b-but-” He choked up. “You’ve managed to help me rebuild it in ways that I didn’t think possible.”

“I’ve always feared death. I’ve hated it. It’s sat on my shoulder and haunted me since I was younger. Out of the two of us, you’re the first to cross the rainbow bridge. I like to think that heaven is as big and beautiful as you imagine it to be.”

“Whatever happens, it must be good because people usually don’t return from death.” A weak chuckle fell from your throat and he continued. “But please know, you’re welcome to come back at any time. If you find out that you can haunt people, my house is always open.”

He didn’t dare look up at you. Not yet. “Our love is immeasurable for one another. I don’t think the spirit realm can stop it either. The devil can try, but I believe we’re untouchable and-”

He shook his head and wrinkled the ball of paper. “I’m sorry, it’s stupid. I should have worked better on it.”

“Nah, I’m glad you let me know I can haunt you. I’m going to take you up on that offer. Maybe try a ouija board or something? We’ll come up with a code word to let you know I’m okay.”

“Like?”

“Maybe a symbol, or something.” You shrugged. “I’ve always thought Monarch butterflies were pretty.”

“Monarchs it is.”

“Speaking of butterflies,” you reached down and took something from your own pocket. “I didn’t write vows because I couldn’t think of any, but I bought a disposable camera. I thought maybe we could take photos throughout today and the next few days. You can look back on them after I’m gone.”

“That’s really beautiful. Can I take one of you?” You nodded. He turned on the camera, stepped back, and adjusted the frame. When he found the right angle he clicked, lighting up your eyes with a bright flash.

“You’re a natural at posing.”

You stared at him for a moment. A halo of sunlight shrouded you. He wanted to remember this brief moment forever. Your eyes went to the ground before finding his “Felix?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to die,” you finally admitted. Tears filled your eyes. “I’m so scared. I don’t want to go alone.”

He leaned forward, shutting off the camera, and wrapping you in a hug. He pulled your head to his chest. “I don’t think you’ll be alone. It’s been documented that some people see their passed loved ones before they go. I think they’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”

“You really think so?”

“I hope so. I want to see my grandma again. If you see her, please give her the biggest hug for me, will you? She always gave the best hugs.”

Your arms tightened around him. Your head dipped against his chest. His heart beat rhythmically. A painful pang of envy cut through you and you hated yourself for it. It wasn’t his fault your body was giving up.

You sniffled. Tears soaked his suit, but he didn’t complain. He didn’t fight it. Instead, he gently placed the point of his chin on top of your head. His arms shielded you. You should have physically lived forever. His heart wasn’t the right place to carry your memory. He wanted you here forever.

His eyes went over to the side. A few yards over, the guys talked and laughed. This was hard on them too, but they tried not to let the two of you see how much it bothered them. Death was hard for everyone. It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that all these people he loved would be gone one day. Where would they end up? How? How do we keep going after the people we love are gone? Being human is such a poetic tragedy. So much beauty. So much pain. A chaotic mindfuck of emotions, too short and insufferably long; how rare and beautiful it is to exist.

“When the time is right, I’m going to come find you and hold you just like this,” Felix finally uttered.

“Promise?”

“Of course, I promise.”

“And in the meantime, you have to keep making good music. I’ll come back to haunt you. You should talk to me and tell me how life is. I’ll find a way to communicate, somehow.”

“I believe it.”

You pulled away from his chest and sniffled again. “Are we deluding ourselves?”

“Probably, but it feels better that way.” He pressed another kiss to the tip of your nose. “We should probably go before the food gets done and the guys eat it all. Changbin and Han would.”

“It’s not nice to throw them under the bus like that.” You took his hand and led him back to them.

“It’s true and you know it. After this? We’ll have some of that cake I made.”

About that time, Hyunjin came out of the back door with a square sheet of cake and a candle. Not yet lit, he slowly walked it over to the pair. The happy birthday song left his lips. Right as he nearly approached, he stumbled and slipped.

Gasps sounded and Hyunjin shrieked. He jerked upright with wide eyes. The cake crumbled into pieces. He peeked out from beneath the vanilla buttercream frosting on his face. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I-”

“Why did you sing happy birthday?” You asked.

“I couldn’t think of a wedding song from the top of my head.”

You lost it. A giggle burst from your stomach. You laughed, curling down and clutching your stomach. Felix joined in and the rest hesitated. Changbin was the first to break into high pitched laughter, pointing at Hyunjin. Hyunjin threw him the middle finger and that broke the rest of them.

Han reached down, pulled a fingerful of cake from Hyunjin’s cheek, and put it in his mouth. “Wow, it’s still good. Great job, Yongbok. Hyunjin, uh-” He glanced down. “You should learn to walk better.”

“I’ll kill you!” Hyunjin’s dark eyes widened and a hand clamped over his mouth. “Wrong thing. I didn’t mean to say that. I just-” He got up and bowed to you. Cake crumbs and rich white icing slathered his face and suit. Feeling horrible, he wanted to disappear. When he bowed, bits of destroyed cake hit the ground.

You couldn’t be mad. None of you could. Nothing about this was traditional. It was one last party. A marriage. A celebration of life. It was everything tied all together. Later, your family and more friends were showing up.

Everything all at once because your tomorrow wasn’t promised.

You glanced over your shoulder, grinning at Felix. “Hey, we might as well take another picture and put that camera to good use.”

~ ~ ~

You died three days later. After that last big hoo-rah, you dwindled quite rapidly. You tried to put on a brave face for Felix and everyone, but he saw through your exhausted facade quickly.

For those three days, it was a lot of quiet conversation in the stillness of the hospice room. The sage green walls and the chirps of the birds from your open window. You shifted to watch them, unable to stand watching the television.

Everything ached. It didn’t hurt, it just ached, as if you ran an entire marathon without stretching and pacing yourself. IV fluids pumped you full of meds, trying to make the last bits of life as comfortable for you as possible.

Felix forced himself to harness peace in the moments of your sleeping silence. When your chest rose and fell, a sure sign you were still alive. He pushed your hair from your face, gently planting kisses on your colorless skin.

The warm color disappeared. As your illness strengthened inside you, you weakened. You tried to be the bigger person, hiding your fear, but on that last night, you knew your time was coming.

You curled up to Felix, unable to let go. You didn’t eat. Instead, you shifted to his chest, listening to the steady wallop of his heart. “Felix?” You whispered

“Hmm?”

“I think my biggest fear isn’t death itself. I think it’s leaving you behind. I gave you all my love for nothing. I feel like I gave you this burden.”

“You’re not a burden and this isn’t a burden. Don’t talk like that.” He wiped a tear away from your cheek. “You’ve been my greatest adventure.”

Your bottom lip quivered. “You mean it?”

“Every last word.”

You stayed entangled like that for hours until he had to use the bathroom. You were half asleep, drifting away. He kissed the top of your temple and then your nose, promising to be right back. It only took a few minutes, but it was long enough.

When he came back and shifted you, he jerked back as if he’d been slapped. He sprinted away, calling for assistance. The pastel yellow walls mocked him. Tears filled his eyes as he explained the situation to one of the nurses. The stillness and fading warmth of your skin.

In your final act of mercy, you waited to go until he was tucked safely in the bathroom. He didn’t see the way your sleepy eyes followed him into the bathroom. Your breath caught in your chest after he shut the door. You couldn’t get it back, but you didn’t panic.

Your body filled with helium. You floated. One last final gasp and your eyes drifted shut. A soul laid to rest, slipping to the other side, and diving into the sympathy of warmth.

You left the world knowing you were loved and even if it was short, that was the most important part.

~ ~ ~

At the funeral, the heaviness wasn’t as bad as Felix expected. Of course, he missed you. They all did. Maybe it hurt a little less because they knew it was coming. He stole as many kisses as he could. The next would have to wait until he joined you on the other side.

He blotted his eyes as the preacher spoke. In the cemetery burial, he spoke to your loved ones. Sniffling and teary eyed, Jeongin stepped up beside him. “Felix?”

“Yeah?” He glanced over his shoulder.

“Why does death have to be so hard?”

“Because it can’t live. It takes lives because of envy. It tries to capture and cage something it can never obtain.”

“I miss them.”

“Me too.”

He pulled a white rose from a vase and approached your coffin. Jeongin tagged along behind him. Felix stepped up first. He glanced at the stained wood, hoping that wherever you were, you finally found peace. He placed the white rose in the center of the coffin.

Before he could speak, something tickled his hand. Glancing down, the fluttering wings of a monarch butterfly. Tears welled in his eyes immediately. “You missed me so much, you came back this quickly, huh?”

Behind him, Jeongin peered over Felix’s shoulder. “Is that a monarch butterfly? What is it doing here? It’s too early for monarchs.” He stepped forward and slowly eased his rose next to Felix’s.

“It’s them,” he whispered. The wings flapped again and went to the edge of his suit. He blinked wet eyes and smiled. “I love you.”

Just as Jeongin was about to remove his hand from the coffin, Felix gasped. Jeongin’s head turned and his eyes widened. On the tip of Felix’s nose, the winged creature sat unbothered.

“Woah, didn’t you used to always kiss their nose?”

“I called them my butterfly kisses.” Silent tears trickled down his cheeks. “They came back. One more kiss before they go.”

I love you, too.

After a few more seconds, the butterfly flapped its wings and took off. Their eyes followed it higher and higher into the air. They exchanged another look and Felix smiled. He chuckled and wipe away falling tears

You might not be there in person anymore, but you’d always be with them in spirit.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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ricedeity · 4 hours ago

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hi again

yuma: his vision is like.. "little halloween ghoul", cuz his color scheme reminded me of a pumpkin. basically his entire sv1 design was centered around being able to give him pumpkin shorts LOL. since he was the second ever jp male vocal i did also try to give him more japanese-style clothing too w the sandals. he also had a bit of a bandage motif to give a sense of eerieness. for v2 i dialed up the japanese-style w the top but also wrapped it the way it's done for corpses to keep the sense that Something's Wrong With Him

natalie: similar to kevin, as the first feminine english voicebank her general design vision was just "steampunk girl". i also wanted her to look very classic, hence the vintage-looking hair style. reprised this in sv2 by elevating her gloves to opera gloves for class. i just realized looking at her now that i forgot to add some details to her sv2 design ough. but anyways. something i think is cute about her sv2 design is that the hair kind of looks like a fancy hat. classy lady

mai: miss mai saw the biggest change in design direction because sv2 gave her coworkers! she used to be the only complimentary voicebank, but now there's 2 more, so i knew right away i wanted them to have some kind of matching uniform. mai has an "apple bunny" motif, and i described her as a student, so i thought it'd be cute if the other 2 were like her teachers. she gets to keep the ribbon to maintain her "sweet lolita" subflavor.

cong zheng and xuan yu: their design vision is "half-tone rock royalty". cong zheng has a rose motif and xuanyu has a (half) moon motif. i thought it was cute that they had matching color schemes so i wanted to keep that matching "half"-ness as much as possible... it's a bit more literal in their sv2 designs w the color split going right down the middle

cheng xiao: her design vision is "peking opera but idol", more or less. i aimed for a simpler, more stylized idol-ish outfit with peking opera design elements, rather than full peking opera costume, just for the sake of drawability. that said the amount of peking opera douyins on my fyp increased significantly between sv1 and 2 so her sv2 might feel a bit more authentic LOL

ninezero: i think this joke has been lost to history. but the reason ninezero looks like this is because of his first demo trailer.

he just looks like this to me forever now. but i gave him clothes for sv2.

lin lai + yun quan: i would say their vision is "things about chinese children i find kind of funny" (big disclaimer: i am chinese and allowed to laugh at these things). in sv1 it's the hairstyles they gave them in back in the olden times. for sv2 it's the school uniforms that modern chinese school kids wear today.

yun quan's new pigtail + hairclip style is supposed to vaguely resemble the butterfly shape. linlai has a new little plant sprout on his hat. i also realized that the jersey designs being different imply that lin lai and yun quan go to different schools........

ritchy: his vision was always "rapper + pirate" (cuz his color scheme/design reminds me of like... algae on water). that's why he has the big coat + shirtless combo. his sv1 design leaned a little more towards rapper than pirate so i just leaned a bit the other way for his sv2 design. his hair shape kind of resembles a big captain's hat a little bit.

d-lin: his vision was "rapper + cadaver". his sv1 version wears all white because it's what chinese corpses traditionally wear in funerals. his "rapper belts" are also meant to double to look like his innards are coming out. he's also got the Y incision commonly done for autopsies, now looking a tiny bit more subtle in the SV2 version as the Y part connects to the hoodie. like linlai, he didnt have enough hair to give him a new hairstyle so i gave him a different hat. bucket hats are cool

wei shu: his design vision was essentially "humble, flowy chinese-style clothing". his vest hanfu thing is replaced with a more simple overcoat. instead of big flower that mixes in to his hairbun, now a few of smaller flowers mixed throughout his hair, that hopefully carry through that "delicate" feeling (kind of like a disney princess). i also gave him and ling wan matching braids.

hayden: his vision is "catholic garb + 2000s boyband". the collar + vest he wears in his sv1 is meant to simultaneously be giving "bishop" and "jonas brother".

since sv1 leaned heavily on the "catholic" side (esp w the cape), i leaned more into the "Jonas Brother" side for sv2 with the goofy ass scarf. its length and flow is also meant to resemble a catholic stole. if you have the whimsy for it in your heart.

sheena: she's the first native en/jp billingual voicebank, so her design vision was "japanese silhouette + western fashion". it's a bit subtle, but her sv1 design is meant to be a kimono shape! the middriff is the middle sash, the cover over her arms forms the long sleeves, etc. i couldn't really think of a way to reprise this smoothly for sv2 so i put a shawl on her and gave her more of a classy lounge singer feel while still kind of keeping the kimono shape underneath.

eri: first jp rap voicebank, so in wanting her design to still feel japanese her vision was "street fashion gyaru". i elevated it to a bit more of a classy vibe in sv2, but the big varsity jacket is swapped for a big hoodie to keep the "street"-feeling vibe.

ayame: her design vision was "sweet lolita but literally" as in pastry sweets, haha. lots of ribbons as well. i took her apron-ish dress and took in more of a maid-waitress kind of look for sv2. her ojou-sama hair drills also levelled up.

jin: his design vision is basically just "sleek, well-dressed uncle with a rockin' past". he was already one of the more simple designs, but i think the tattoos are still striking.

yi xi: her vision was "athletic street fashion + butcher". the stripes on her sv1 top are meant to be like stripes you often see on athletic clothing, but also meant to resemble a slit throat. this is the best design thing i've ever done, by the way. sv1 also utilizes a jumpsuit like one you'd wear for sanitary food-handling, but also doubles for cool street fashion.

i felt like i'd be cheating by using the jumpsuit again for sv2 (even though it's sooooo good). so i leaned a bit more into the butcher end by just giving her an apron. i feel like the cut of her overall dress can kind of look like a qipao if you squint, which gives a chinese flavor. the opera gloves that "end" at the normal gloves are meant to resemble butcher sleeves.

yes, i think it is a bit silly to put a face mask on a vocal synthesizer whose only job it is to sing. but between "butchers wear face masks for sanitary reasons" + "face masks for street fashion" i feel like i had a right to.

ling wan: her design vision was something like... "modernized-version of what would look cool on the back of a horse with a bow and arrow". this is partially why she's one of the only girls with pants lol..... big flowy pants and a long element that blows cool-like in the wind. again, she and wei shu have matching braids

felicia: her vision was "cunty theater kid", basically? for her sv1 i kept it steampunk like natalie's, but for sv2 i pushed it a little more witchy. felicia is a voicebank with a lot of range so i think something like this has the potential to encapsulate her many possible usages. she's got a bit of a "crown" submotif (like a strawberry crown!) that carries through on the choker in sv2. also the top hat is so crucial to me.

riku: his design submotif is "boring jpop guy fashion" HAHA. i think i was referencing bump of chicken specifically? anyways i suppose he's a bit more idol-y in his sv2 iteration, but the jpop guy flavor persists

wanted to yap a little bit about my SV2 vimalion design process as i wait for my arm to recover from drawing all those fullbodies o(*￣▽￣*)ブ part 1 of ????

i have always loooooved vocaloid update designs, v4 update era was my Absolute Favorite, so when sv2 was announced, against my better judgement, i was absolutely determined to make "update" designs for all (checking) 28 ?? vimalion sv designs. ough

there were a few things i wanted to achieve:

i wanted the SV2 designs to feel more like a unified ensemble

i wanted it to be obvious from an immediate glance whether you were looking at a SV1 or SV2 design

i wanted to leave flexibility for new future SV2 (only) designs in the future

vimalion sv1 designs were largely "neutral colors (black, white) + key colors", so for sv2, i reduced this down to "dark neutrals (black, grey) + key colors, with a gradient". it does make everyone look a little bit emo, and some sv1 designs (like weishu) didn't have any light neutrals which kind of makes them fail point 2, but i think overall it worked out pretty well :')

i also gave everyone newwww hairstyles ^_^ because it's fun. but i made sure they were all hairstyles that didn't change the length or cut of the hair cuz i like the idea of them being able to switch between these designs at will lol

(also, i added an extra line to the logo. for Synth V Two)

but the main challenge of this premise is that there are many vimalion designs i simply feel like i nailed on the first shot. i simply think that some of the vimalion designs are Perfect. also some of them i made like, literally only months ago. so i can't really go a miku v4 or longya v4 route of trying to "improve" or "modernize" them with only slight adjustments.

to this end, my approach was more along the lines of v4 flower: take the same original Vision, but turn it into a different direction*

i feel like this approach lets each iteration have its own identity, and since i don't want the SV2 designs to be replacement for the SV1s but rather just New Additional Designs If You Want Them, i felt like it was the right approach :-)

*i know v4 flower was just based off a genderbend fanart but bear with me for the sake of my design theory lol

anyways, i haven't really talked publicly about the direction/themes/motifs/Visions for the vimalion dt designs, so i thought it'd be fun to identify them and talk about how i did them in a different flavor for their sv2 designs! some are a bit more interesting than others haha

Saki: the og, very first AI voicebank... so i wanted her to feel very Lowkey, very Tutorial Character. nonplayable secretary in the idol game vibe. so my vision for her is "chic sexy office lady", which i did with a sexy little tube top- fully out for her SV1 and buttoned up under her blazer (but still w some skin showing under) for SV2- combined w sexy officewear (it's just normal officewear?)

Qing Su: she and saki were the only faceless vocals for a while, so when people made fan designs they often made them reaaaally complex. so i wanted qing su to be elegant but simple: "marine fashion + hanfu". hence the sailor collar :-) SV2 has her showing more skin but i feel like it's like a "walk in the ocean" vibe. she's also got a bit of a lace subtheme in SV1 so i brought that back in SV2 with the gloves to kind of echo the "elegance" vibe of the long skirt.

also! back when letter vocals were only 1 letter i also tried to incorporate the letter into their designs... this didn't last long, but it did stick for qingsu- in her SV1 design, the combination of her bun and the hair stick make a Q shape. i reprised this in spirit for SV2 with the hair loop + ponytail also making a Q shape :-)

Ryo: his vision is "street fashion + modernized traditional japanese". for his SV1 i gave him a little half kimono thing, kinda samurai reminiscent... SV2 i gave him a haori instead (though i brought the kimono sleeves back for vibes) + hakama pants. also, his hair is based off kenshi yonezu, so i just picked another kenshi hairstyle for SV2 lol

Kevin: i felt bad for english voicebanks not having traditional fashion motifs to pull from like the japanese and chinese ones. i figured steampunk is the closest thing to immediately recognizable English Fashion Culture, so that's why the english voicebanks have steampunk elements. and thusly as the first English voicebank his vision was just "steampunk guy". i brought back the K-shaped neck thing from one of Kevin's earlier design iterations because it's sooooo good. and then i put the goggles on his head because they annoy me around his neck. that's basically all i have to say for him.

mo chen: his vision is "cute menswear + chinese fashion", or more succinctly "match qingsu" LOL. i couldnt really get him to matchsies super close w qingsu anymore though so i swapped out his wendy collar so he could have an elegant sweater vest over chinese collar moment. his hair is in a loop to match his sister but maybe it can look like the O from his logo if you want.

an xiao: his vision is "elevated high fashion suit". it was a very dramatic weird bodysuit moment for SV1 but SV2 looks a bit more like a normal high fashion suit LOL. also his tits gotta be out. also idk he gives me "suit + sneaker" vibes right? dont you agree? (holding a microphone up to you) hey

feng yi: she was the first one i earnestly designed with "VIMALION" in mind rather than just one-off designs, so i went a little bit too crazy with giving her motifs. i guess her vision theme is "han lolita-ish?" but she also had subthemes of clouds, ribbons, that weird criss-cross thing on her wrists... plus her main theme of ginkgo... anyways. i took the fluff under her skirt that served as a "cloud" vision and gave it to her as a fashionable little shawl for SV2. i swapped the zettai ryoukai of her arms and legs (thigh socks -> opera gloves, bare arms -> bare legs) just cuz?? i also made her colors closer to what they actually are LOL

weina: her vision is "phoenix goddess". i regretted giving her a bird theme when ling wan came out and was actually bird themed HAHA. but for SV2 i just did another angle on this vision, though maybe a little more elegantly this time... hers probably feels the most like a "level up". you can't tell in her key art but her cape is still wing shaped i promise.

----

okay i'll do the others in another part another time!! my arm hurts goodnight

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lyvhie · 16 hours ago

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★ ˙ ̟ ─── . “missing you”.

Things were turning out to be more difficult than Jaemin had anticipated. You were away on a two-week work trip—something important that couldn’t be rescheduled. That meant a full week of just him and your daughter, a dad-and-daughter bonding marathon.

And honestly? Jaemin thought it would go smoothly. After all, his little girl was usually sweet, cheerful, and easygoing. They were already so close; how hard could it be?

Well… way harder than he thought, apparently.

The first days went by smoothly, really. You and Jaemin had sat down with her beforehand, carefully explaining that you would be away for a few days, but reassuring her that time would fly by and you’d be back before she knew it. She had been totally brave about it, nodding along with wide, serious eyes—even though she couldn't quite hide the small pout that formed when it was finally time to say goodbye.

But she only managed to keep up her cute, brave facade for four days before her gloomy mood started to seep through, something Jaemin noticed right away. It began with her waking up for school without her usual energy, making it unusually difficult for him to coax her out of bed and get her ready. And unlike her normal, spirited self, she didn’t even protest when he gently told her she couldn't wear her fantasy costumes to school. Then came the silence during meals, the persistent little pout as she went about everything, and the way even the smallest mishap—like not finding her favorite pajama or accidentally spilling toothpaste off the brush—was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Jaemin tried everything to cheer her up: cuddles, cartoons, new toys, even extra dessert. But it was clear that what she really missed was you. And, honestly, he couldn’t blame her; he missed you just as much. If he was being truthful, he didn’t know what else to do to make her feel better. Seeing her like that only made the house feel even emptier without you, as if your absence was more noticeable with each passing day.

Even though he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, admit it, he refused to let his little girl stay upset like this.

Jaemin carefully brushed her wet hair, watching her through the mirror. Her small face was scrunched in a frown, her little legs swinging back and forth as she fidgeted with the hem of her green princess dress. He had let her choose her outfit for the day, hoping it would cheer her up, but even that didn’t seem to lift her spirits. It was like nothing could shake off the gloom that had settled over her.

He prepared himself with a deep breath before placing a big smile on his face, "Is my princess excited to have a super special day with Daddy?" he asked, keeping his voice bright and playful as he set the brush down.

She paused her fidgeting for a second, lifting her head to meet his eyes through the mirror, her expression unimpressed as she mumbled, “Yes, I guess…” before turning her gaze back down to her hands. Her lack of enthusiasm made Jaemin sigh softly.

He crouched down to her level, gently poking her chin. “What can I do to make you smile, sweetie?” he asked, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes met his again, the same stubborn pout still there, “Bring Mommy back.”

His expression softened at her words, his heart squeezing quite painfully. In a way, he was relieved that she had finally voiced what she was feeling, but on the other hand, he felt a little helpless, guilty even, that he wasn’t doing a better job at easing her sadness.

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before scooping her into his arms. She immediately clung to him like a little koala, her tiny arms wrapping around his neck, her face burying itself into the crook of it, seeking the irreplaceable comfort only he could give.

"I miss her too, sweetheart," he murmured, rocking her gently in his arms. "I know it’s hard without Mommy here, and I know she misses us just as much. I bet she’s even counting the days to come back to us."

He rubbed slow, soothing circles on her back, his voice as gentle and warm as ever.

“And you know what?" he continued, his tone brightening just a little. "She would hate to see you feeling so down like this. She told me that every time you smile or have fun, she can feel it in her heart, no matter how far away she is. That’s why, if you’re sad, Mommy will feel sad too. And I’m pretty sure neither of you want that, right?”

She nodded slowly, nuzzling against his neck.

"And I also don’t want to see my beautiful princess making that face," he said, gently pulling her away just enough to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking softly across her skin. "I miss your bright, sunshiney smiles." He gave her a teasing pout. "I thought you liked spending time with Daddy, but it looks like I’m not as cool as Mommy after all," he sighed dramatically, exaggerating his expression to mirror her earlier one.

His words seemed to worry her, as her eyes widened in alarm, and she shook her head fiercely.

"No, no, you are super cool, Daddy!" she exclaimed, immediately cupping his face with her tiny hands. "I love spending time with you, I love you, Dad!" Her hurried words made his heart swell with affection. She was just too cute.

"Really?" his frown deepening as he pretended to still be upset.

"Really!" she nodded quickly, her determination clear.

"How much?" he asked, a teasing glint in his eyes.

"This big!" she opened her arms wide, a fierce look of conviction on her face, as if she could somehow measure her love in physical space.

Jaemin couldn't help but laugh at her pure, innocent, and sincere statement. "I love you even more than that, my love," he said, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek before lifting her up into the air. Her giggles erupted immediately, the sound filling the room and chasing away any trace of her earlier teary eyes. Her laugh was like music to his ears, and seeing her smile so brightly again made his heart swell. He gently set her down, holding both her hands in his.

"What do you think about we keep going with your princess day as planned?" he asked, his voice full of warmth. "We’ll have lots of fun, and then we can call Mommy later so she can hear all about it. What do you say?"

She nodded enthusiastically, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "Yes, yes, yes, let's do it!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and pulling him along with surprising energy. Jaemin, completely caught up in her enthusiasm, just let her drag him, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Alright, lead the way, princess.”

Phew. Crisis avoided.

"So, she told you that you're cooler than me?" you asked with a raised eyebrow, peering at him through the camera of your phone.

"Pretty much. Loud and clear, no hesitation," Jaemin whispered back, his voice soft and low, matching yours. He carefully shifted a little, mindful not to wake the small figure sleeping soundly on his chest, her little fist curled into his shirt.

He had done a great job tiring her out today, taking her to all the fun places and letting her play as much as she wanted. That’s why, after a warm shower, she could barely keep her eyes open, falling asleep halfway through telling you about her day and how much she wanted you back.

Seeing you and listening to your voice, even if only through a video call, had been enough to finally ease her little heart, her worries melting away, for sure this time, into peaceful sleep.

“We’ll see about that when I come back,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “Anyway, I’m glad everything’s okay. I was worried things might get a little too… chaotic.”

“Hm, you don’t need to worry that pretty head of yours about us, baby,” he hummed, his voice low and full of warmth. “I told you I’ve got everything under control.”

He knew you were already overwhelmed with work; the last thing he wanted was to add any more worries to your plate. He could handle things—he would handle things—if it meant keeping his wife's mind at ease. Jaemin glanced down at his chest, his fingers threading gently through your daughter’s hair as she slept peacefully against him. His gaze softened even more, his heart full at the sight of the two most important people in his life, even if one of them was miles away for now.

“She missed you like crazy today, though,” he chuckled, looking back at you through the screen, his smile a little crooked, a little tired. “And I did too.”

Your eyes softened, warmth blooming in your chest. “I know… I missed you both like crazy too,” you said, leaning closer to the phone screen as if it could somehow shrink the distance between you.

“That’s why,” he continued, a playful glint in his eyes, “you need to stay focused and finish all your stuff quickly so you can come back to us. Otherwise…” he paused for effect, “I’ll be forced to go there and bring you back myself. And I have someone here who would be more than willing to help with the mission.”

He successfully managed to pull a laugh from you. Again, it seemed like today he was doing a great job with his girls.

"Okay, okay, I got you," you said with a soft smile, nodding. "I’ll be home before you know it."

"Yeah," he hummed, his voice warm and sure, glancing down once more at the little girl sleeping on him. "We’ll be right here waiting for you."

↝ taglist: @nebularsung, @spacejip, @peterm4rker, @sinisxtea

#jaemin #jaemin x reader #jaemin fluff #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct dream x reader #nct dream fluff

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nowprettybbyimrunning · 13 hours ago

Text

He's a 10 But He is Making Out in Room 2

This is chapter 1 from the series "Carter's Favorite Season is Autumn"

W.C: 3,8k

Warnings: mention of blood, stitches, cursing, injury by patient.

Autumn Hawthorn’s first day at County General Hospital in Chicago did not only mark her first residency day at the ER, but also the day her own personal foundations got shaken by an external and unexpected force. Said force had a tall figure, a handsome face with the most inviting and kind brown puppy eyes she had ever seen, and a name: John Carter. She has always been a good girl who does not lie and hates anyone who does, so if you ask her about her colleague, she’ll say that meeting him is the best thing to happen to her in the last months. Well, more like the second best thing. The best one is starting her residency.

Interested in following pediatrics, her favorite doctor to work with was Doug Ross, who seemed to have taken a liking to her and let her follow him around like a lost puppy everywhere he went.

Every day was just about the same.

She’ll wake up before the sun has risen and get ready as quickly as possible, eager to get to the ER and start working. At the beginning, after meeting John, Autumn would get herself and Dr. Carter coffee to go and they’d drink it together at the break room in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. But that was until a few days ago Doug started getting it for her. Now she’ll drink the coffee Dr. Ross bought for her while John poured himself some from the coffee pot and eventually they were called down to tend to a patient.

She and Carter would also have lunch together at the cafeteria and then around 3 p.m., when their eyelids began to shut, they’d meet again for another coffee to help them keep going, not a very healthy habit for doctors.

And finally, if they were lucky enough to get to go home that very same day and not have to work night shifts, John walked her to her bus stop and said goodnight with a quick hug.

She had checked her reflection on the hospital’s doors before going in, making sure her curly auburn hair looked good and her working outfit was still decent and nothing had happened to it throughout her walk from her apartment to the ER. But, what for? if as soon as she stood inside the chaos that was County General, she saw the only reason why she wanted to be presentable each day, talking to the patient that occupied most of his lately. Autumn noticed the way Carter’s lips pulled slightly up into a smirk and couldn’t miss Liz’s arm, possessively grasping his shoulder while batting her long eyelashes at him.

During the course of her first few weeks at the ER, Autumn had talked her therapist's ear off about an incredible amount of horrendous scenes she had seen and experienced, including the first patient she and Carter saw die; however, none of them stirs her feelings up as much as seeing Carter constantly and without a care in the world flirt with Liz (a patient nonetheless) at the front desk, and today was one of those days.

The brunette had made her appearance not too long ago, and ever since then kept coming back and asking for Dr. Carter specially to see her. Everyone knew what was going on, of course. Jerry even had seen them getting into John’s car once and driving away together. But no one said a thing even though it was clearly morally wrong. Autumn wondered if they had something serious going on, were they going on dates? Did Liz know the way Carter likes his coffee just like she did?

It was torture. Starting what she knew would be a long and arduous shift with the image of the man that she was slowly but surely falling for, trying to play the womanizer role out in the open was torture. It wasn’t right, Carter did not seem like that type of guy.

Fuck doctors. Or well, student doctors for that matter. Autumn was not putting up with that shit, she made a beeline directly to the bathroom and almost ran into Carol.

“Hey kid, what’s with the face?” since the nurse’s comeback they had found a safe place in each other, and of course she immediately caught up on her cranky mood.

“The one I was born with?” Autumn joked in an attempt to get out of the confrontation, but she knew she had been cornered when Carol peeked her head around the bathroom door to spy on what had caused her to frown.

“Oh, I see… It’s a loverboy matter” the redhead couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her colleague’s (she hoped soon would be friend) comment as she washed her hands just for the sake of doing something with them.

“Don’t call him that.”

“But Pumpkin isn’t that what you want him to be?” Autumn knew she had used the lame nickname they had given to her just to try and soften her.

“Who wants who to be what?” Susan interrupted their conversation by rapidly walking into the bathroom, three were a crowd and it was starting to get suffocating.

“Autumn and Carter” claimed Carol at the same time the resident said “no one nothing”.

“Ohh I love this topic!” Dr. Lewis was also clearly in on the redhead’s little crush.

“It’s not a topic and it will never be ‘cause I’m going out there right now” Dr. Hawthorn almost sprinted out of the small room that seemed to be closing in on her with each second that passed around the topic of John Carter.

Luckily for her, neither he nor Liz were still at the front desk. Maybe she had gone home already, or he had been called to tend to a patient without her help. Either way, Autumn was glad to not have to continue to see the scene that almost made her crash out within her first three minutes at the hospital.

But that was until Dr. Benton asked her to get some files of his he had forgotten at room 2 and she immediately got down to the task. Who knocks before going into what is supposed to be an empty room at a hospital? Maybe after today she should start building on that habit, because when she abruptly opened the door what she found was far away from an empty, normal, usual, hospital room. Instead she found John and Liz mid makeout. At the interruption, Carter turned around white as a sheet, and the state he was in would’ve been a sight for sore eyes if it wasn’t for his company; disheveled hair sticking out everywhere from someone running their needy hands through it, crooked tie along with not one or two, but three unbuttoned shirt buttons; ragged breathing and lastly, plump pink lips shiny from lip gloss. Liz wasn’t far from that, she was sitting down in a bed and her skirt had rolled up slightly, the ponytail Autumn had seen her in when she got to the hospital was nowhere to be seen, now her brown hair was free and messy and her green shirt brought up the red on her cheeks from the heat in the room.

“Autumn hi” Carter greeted her “when did you get in?” The only man in the room tried to fix his hair and rubbed the palm of his right hand on his lips to get rid of the shine from Liz’s lip gloss.

“Uhm just a few minutes ago, I- sorry I just came for these” Autumn grabbed Benton’s files that were right next to Liz’s hand on the bed.

“Hi! I’m Liz” the brunette tried to introduce herself and extended her hand for the redhead to shake, Carter standing right in the middle.

“I know” Autumn ignored the girl’s gesture and turned around, leaving for the second time that day a room that made her feel like she was running out of air.

It’ll definitely be a long, very long day.

“You have to stop doing this Liz” Carter reprimanded the girl while both of them tried to fix their clothes, no longer in the mood for whatever it was they would’ve ended up doing if Autumn had not walked in.

“What are you talking about?” and of course she was playing dumb.

“Showing up at my job and looking for me, you’ll get me into trouble” but she laughed, “I’m being serious” he knew that word had already gone around, and after what had just happened he was sure that either Dr. Benton or Dr. Greene were going to call him out. Not because he did not trust Autumn, she wouldn’t tell a soul what she had seen, but somehow everyone always knew.

“Yeah sure Carter, you’re a doctor, I had a rash, do the math”.

John finally got the tie’s knot down right, and started going for the door. He didn’t even answer her, and maybe it was for the better. They had been going at it for a few weeks, and even though everyone knew, no one really said something. But then again, no one had actually caught them. Until Autumn.

Man did he like her. Autumn, not Liz. He did like Liz, otherwise he would not have been hooking up with her. In fact, Carter even got to enjoy her company sometimes. Yet, it was the redhead, his coworker, his colleague, whatever you want to call it, who was infiltrating every waking and sleeping thought of his. And he didn’t complain. Dreaming of Autumn and looking forward to seeing her during their shifts had brought fun and excitement to his daily life, but it made it hard for him to really focus and concentrate. Plus, everyone had noticed the way Dr. Doug Ross flirted with her and tried to steal her help whenever he could. It pissed Carter off. A student doctor? He wanted to tell Doug to get a grip. After all, everyone also knew the only reason he was so invested in Autumn was to try and make Carol jealous. But who was he to do that? It would also be a bit hypocritical of him given the fact that he was sleeping with a patient.

Sadly, Carter did not see the redhead for the rest of the morning. He actually tried to hide from her, too embarrassed to confront her after what she had walked into in room 2. It was weird, they usually chose cases together and helped each other out, so John knew his friend would be questioning him about it if they happened to cross paths.

However, his freedom from Autumn did not last long.

At around 1 p.m., Carter was filling out the chart of the last patient he had released when he heard some commotion and shouting from one of the exam rooms. Followed by a crash, and then a scream; from a voice he would pick out anywhere. He quickly ran toward it followed by Jerry and one of the security guards.

When they rushed in they found what was clearly a psych patient who had somehow been able to undo his arm’s restraints, and unfortunately got a hold of a scalpel and hit Autumn on the forehead.

Once Jerry and the officer were able to subdue the patient, Carter made his way to Autumn who was leaning against a wall in a corner of the room watching everything unfold while clutching her forehead, blood streaming down her face and into her forearm, staining her scrubs.

“Hey, hey are you okay?” Carter gently placed his hands on her shoulders and tried to direct her look at him.

Dr. Hawthorn seemed to be in shock and did not answer right away. She blinked at him, confused. But then she gazed at her hand and saw it covered in blood and her eyes opened like saucers. Autumn hadn’t noticed that the blow she took had been strong enough to draw blood. Her face contorted in pain.

“Come with me” John started and steadied her when she almost fell.

Once they were alone in one of the exam rooms, Carter sat her down at one of the beds and inspected her wound, “you’ll need stitches” he kept his voice soft and low, forgetting how embarrassed he was to see her just mere minutes ago. he gave Autumn some gauze to keep on the cut while he gathered what he needed to stitch her up and put on gloves.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad” the redhead spoke for the first time, trying to joke with him, yet John did not smile as he was already in his doctor mode. And he would not tell but this was his most important (and favorite) patient so far.

“You know someone should’ve been with you in that room, he is a psych patient it wasn’t right for you to be alone with him” he said in his most serious tone, not tending to her wound yet.

“I was just checking if he had fallen asleep or-” Carter interrupted her.

“Still, Autumn you have to be more careful with this type of patient, he could’ve gotten you good” he tried to concentrate as much as he was able to prepare the needle and thread.

“He already got me good, didn’t he? you’re about to do stitches on me” there went the jokes ignored, again.

“Whatever, just tilt your head back for me” Dr. Hawthorn obeyed him, and he carefully peeled the gauze full of blood away, their hands brushing just a tiny bit, “you’ll have a scar, at least a tiny one”.

“That’s fine, cool guys seem to dig them” she was getting tired of trying to lift up the mood with no positive results, and her eyes searched her friend’s face for some signal of what was wrong with him, but Carter was not looking at her. He was too focused on cleaning her cut first and the sudden silence in the room engulfed them.

It had been minutes when Autumn decided she couldn’t take it anymore and spoke, “Carter, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” of course he knew what she meant.

“You’re not laughing at my jokes, you’re not looking at me, you’ve basically been avoiding me since I walked in on you and Liz” she saw how his lips twitched at the mention of the brunette.

“Yeah you’re right, I’m sorry it was just embarrassing” he threaded the first stitch through and Autumn flinched, “sorry, almost done though, just one more will be enough”. She shut up for a while and just watched his face while he worked, admiring the way his jaw tensed due to his concentration; and when he was finished smiled at him “aaaand we’re done”.

“Thank you, Carter” she thanked him while he took off his gloves, a few moments of silence passed while Autumn covered her fresh stitches with new, clean gauze. “What is going on between you and her?”.

The question knocked John off his feet and he answered automatically in what was not the best tone or way, “why are you asking? I don’t ask questions about you and Doug”.

“Me and Doug? Carter what are you- wow you must be really embarrassed then” Autumn practically jumped out the bed and walked to the door to get out of that room as soon as possible. She had just taken a scalpel to the forehead, she was not going to put up with whatever John was trying to argue about. She and Doug? What was he on? Was he jealous? No, he couldn’t be.

“Oh come on everyone noticed it” that stopped Autumn in her tracks and made her turn around to look at him.

“Noticed what exactly?”

“Him flirting with you” John stated without looking at her, pretending to be too occupied tidying up what he had just used to fix her up.

“You’re insane, Carter” he had to be kidding, she let her hands rest on her hips, showing him that she was starting to get mad.

“Oh, really? I’m insane?” Autumn nodded, “then explain to me why he brings you coffee every morning”.

She rolled her eyes, “that’s ridiculous, he is just being nice and you’re mad that I stopped bringing you coffee every morning when I no longer had to get my own”.

“Yeah right, he is being nice” now he was looking at her and suddenly felt scared of how close she had gotten to him, “then why is he always asking for your help with the most dumb shit ever?”

Autumn actually laughed at that, “he is supposed to teach us stuff, he is just doing his job, John” she pronounced his name tightly, almost through her teeth.

“So now you don’t know how to take someone’s temperature? he’s not even asking for your help in peds!” Carter was starting to raise his voice, not even he recognized himself at that moment.

“It’s all practice, just because I want to specialize in pediatrics doesn’t mean I’m not going to watch other cases, you do the same!”

John scoffed, “he is your superior Autumn, do you know the trouble you could get into?” he was being insufferable, he knew it. And he also knew Autumn was not going out with Doug, yet he was still jealous.

“Jesus Christ what has gotten into you today!? Did I walk in right when she was about to suck you off at work and pissed you off?” she had gone too far.

“Wouldn’t you like that” but he always seemed to be two steps ahead of her. There was a sudden quiet in the room, the air thickening as the minutes passed, the implications of Carter’s comment too sharp for one of them to keep talking.

“Go to hell”, Autumn said and left John alone, slamming right into a chest on her way out. Someone’s chest. Dr. Ross’ chest. It seemed as if the devil himself had been listening to her’s and Carter’s discussion and decided to stir things up even more than they were.

“Autumn, there you are!” Doug smiled down at her, “I heard about what happened, I’ve been looking for you, are you alright?”, and just as she was about to answer, the door of the room she had just gotten out of opened, and out came John, scoffing at them and walking away. “What’s with him?”.

“Ignore him, he has had a weird day”, Dr. Hawthorn crossed her arms over her chest, trying to cover the blood that had dripped on it, “and I’m fine, just two stitches it’s not a big of a deal”, she reciprocated his smile with a tightlipped one, and for a moment she wondered if maybe Carter was right and Doug had been trying to make her fall into his charms.

“Well, it’s not nothing, I talked to Dr. Greene and Dr. Benton and you’re free to go for the day, get some rest” when Autumn heard the news, her shoulders slumped forward in relief as she could feel a headache brewing and would love nothing more than to lay in her bed and drink some very hot tea.

“Thank you, Dr. Ross I think I need it”

Doug placed a hand on her sidearm “you need it and you deserve it, you did good today”.

“Good?” the redhead raised her eyebrows, “I got assaulted by a psych patient because I was stupid enough to check on him alone”.

Both of them laughed, “yeah well, happens to the best of us”.

“Doug”, Susan called from the end of the hallway, “they need you in trauma 2”.

“Duty calls”, he buried his hands in his jacket’s pockets, “call if you need something, though”.

“I- I- yeah sure I will”, Autumn watched him walk away until he turned around before going down the corridor.

“And Dr. Hawthorn?” she just mhmed at him, “they look good on you, the stitches”, not only did he have the guts to say that to her, but he also winked at her and Autumn swore she could feel her throat dry up.

For Carter, the rest of the day could not get more boring even if he tried for it and wanted it to. He had stitched four patients and given ibuprofen to other three that just had headaches. He hadn’t seen Autumn again since he got out of the exam room and saw her talking to Dr. Ross, not even at the break room for her usual 3 p.m. coffee, the one they drank together ever since Doug started buying her morning one for her.

Even though he knew that to do it would probably get her to talk to the nurses, he decided to ask Lydia about Autumn’s whereabouts. He approached the entry desk where he had seen her last just a few minutes ago and found her right there.

“Lydia, hi” John rested his elbows on the desk.

“Hello, Dr. Carter” the woman side-eyed him, word probably got around about him and Liz that morning.

“Have you seen Dr. Hawthorn?” He gave her his best smile, trying to get on her good side.

“She went home hours ago” finally, Lydia looked straight at him. Carter knew he was not going to like what she’ll tell him next when he saw the lady’s lips curling up into a grin, “Dr. Ross talked to Dr. Greene and Dr. Benton and got them to agree to send her home after today’s incident”, there it was, Doug Ross once again in the conversation.

“Uhm- well, if she calls and needs anything, could you please let me know?” he was jealous, he really was.

“Oh don’t worry kid, Doug’s got it covered” there was almost a singing tone in the way Lydia said that.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what I said, loverboy”, did she just call him loverboy?

“Lydia please erase my name from the board”, the man of the hour, Doug Ross was putting on a jacket while pointing to the whiteboard behind the desk, “I’ll be back in like an hour”.

“W- Where are you going?” Carter tried to stop himself from asking, but the need to confirm it (because he knew exactly where the man was going) was stronger than him.

“To check on Dr. Hawthorn”, Doug answered and Lydia flicked Carter’s elbow to mess with him, “do you want me to pass a message?”.

“No, no it’s fine”, John immediately left the desk, he couldn’t bear watching Dr. Ross leave the ER knowing all too well where he was going, did Autumn even know he was going to her’s? He needed a nap, a long one; and to not wake up until the redhead was back so he could make amends with her.

#john carter x reader #john carter #er nbc #er 1994 #john carter x oc #er tv series #er tv show #noah wyle #doug ross #doug ross x oc

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otacringe · 1 day ago

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WAIT NEW ID PHOTOS... it was probably because to fix the don height thing and also to have a way to replace the old art bc of stuff with the artist* but I wanna go into them :D *I don't know enough to speak on the incident as I wasn't playing Limbus when it happened, but from what I know I disagree with the way she was treated. Please do not make this post about those events, this is just my analysis of the art. (my personal in-universe headcanon is that they've updated these since they feel they're able to disclose more information to dante)

yi sang is wearing his league outfit from canto iv! i assume the original art was done before that outfit was finalized but this makes more sense.

faust's is the same, but we're not learning anything more about her anyway.

don's now shows her in sancho's clothes! the reason i think in-universe they replaced these to accommodate for dante's knowledge is largely because of yi sang's and ESPECIALLY hers, as she seems to be wearing a standard fixer outfit and is smiling in the second photo- presumably to hide her identity.

ryōshū's is also mostly unchanged aside from the fact that she has her sword with her now. not much to gain from there, but she's in the same boat as faust in regards to being kind of a mystery.

it's unclear if mersault is still wearing an n corp. uniform now, but the outfit looks the same so i'd assume he is. he looks almost... sad? in this one though, so that's something to think about

hong lu is wearing what i'd assume is more along the lines of his family's traditional dress instead of what i'd assume is an lcb sweatshirt like what they made the sinners wear for check-ups. he seems a bit more smug here, though that might just be style differences. (also, this outfit is somewhat similar to the one he was wearing in an extra piece of promo art albeit with some blue instead of being all white! i just think that's neat.)

heathcliff's is the same, nothing to say about it.

same with ishmael's. i'd guess that these are unchanged because the two of them have pretty clear civilian origins- he's from a backstreets syndicate and she's a sailor

rodya's dress is colored in a kind of confusing way where i can't tell if it's just red or a black dress with blood on it... leaning towards the former though. her hair's a little messier now which i like! clearly she's just Done Some Shit

sinclair looks about the same, though he's a lot more sad than serious which makes sense. again i assume the old photos were taken second and his ties to kromer were meant to be somewhat confidential so the new one having him more shaken up seems logical.

outis looks the same like the other two mysterious limbus ladies. i still like that she's wearing her military uniform though... when are we getting that trojan horse lore i wanna see the Big Horse

greg is wearing the hoodie he had on as a civilian in canto i!!! very happy to see that acknowledged, i'd guess his outfit from the first photo is just his lcb uniform without the vest. i love you gregor samsa lore...

#moony speaks #long post #pmoon #limbus company #lcb #my favorite new one is mersault's if anyone's wondering- it's so simple but the change does SO MUCH in terms of how you see him #don's is a close second for lore though followed by yi sang and greg

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bennyboyfics · 2 days ago

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Can you write a fic about ben having dinner with Tommy and his circle of friends and you being there too because your friends with Paige and you and Ben hit it off straight away

Smitten || Ben Shelton xfem!reader

A/n: I love this idea!!

Wc: 1,631

Warnings: none ;)

MASTERLIST

There’s a low hum of conversation in the dining room, the clink of glasses and easy laughter floating through the open kitchen where Paige moves gracefully between the stove and the counter. Outside, the sun is starting to dip below the horizon, casting a soft amber glow over her backyard in Florida.

Tommy’s voice carries over the chatter—boisterous, teasing, perfectly at ease with his circle of close friends: Reilly, Frances, Taylor, and Ben. Paige’s phone buzzes on the counter, and she wipes her hands on a dish towel before picking it up. A small smile curls at her lips. “She here?” Tommy questions when he sees Paige smile

“She is,” she says with a hint of excitement as she walks toward the hallway. At the table, Ben, who’s laughing at something Frances just said about his latest post-match outfit, looks towards the hallway. He doesn’t know much about you—just what Tommy’s casually mentioned in passing. Old friend. Knows all of them, close with Paige.

Lived in Connecticut for a bit, just moved back. Cute, chill. Ben hadn’t thought much of it—until now. The moment Paige opens the door and greets you, your voice carries through the hallway, warm and unmistakably you. A bit breathless, apologetic in that effortless way that makes everyone forgive you before you even finish your sentence.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, I got caught up in a meeting—” “Y/n, you’re fine,” Paige says, laughing as she hugs you tightly. “Everyone’s here. Come in.” You walk into the dining room with a natural sort of glow about you—confidence without arrogance, warmth without effort. And Ben feels it immediately. The jolt. Like someone dropped a stone into his stomach and it rippled through his chest.

You. You’re wearing something simple, casual, but you make it look good—hair slightly tousled, lip gloss shining under the lights. As you scan the table and break into a wide smile, Ben forgets to breathe for a second. “Heyyy,” you say, grinning as you make your way around the table, greeting everyone with easy familiarity. “Y/n,” Reilly drawls, getting up to hug you, towering over you with his usual dramatic flair.

“Finally decided to show up.” “Nice to see you too, giraffe,” you shoot back playfully, hugging Frances next. “You still hate me for beating you at pool that one night?” Frances asks, grinning. “No,” you reply sweetly. “I hate you because you cheated and you know it.” Laughter erupts, and you continue down the table, giving Taylor a quick squeeze and Tommy a hug before turning to Ben.

You pause, just for a second—not out of hesitation, but recognition. He’s the only one you don’t know well, not personally anyway. You’ve seen him around tournaments, followed his rise, heard about him from Tommy and Paige. Ben stands a little too fast. “Hey,” you say, stepping in with a smile, arms going around him lightly.

“Nice to finally meet you.” Ben isn’t expecting the hug. He’s even less prepared for how good you smell, how soft you feel pressed against him for those brief two seconds. His arms come up automatically, a little stiff at first, then relaxing just as you pull away Your smile is dazzling up close, and now he’s 100% sure he’s red.

“I—uh. Yeah. You too.” His voice cracks slightly. Frances snorts. “Oh my God,” Taylor mutters with a grin, catching the blush rising up Ben’s neck. “Dude,” Frances laughs, “you good?” Ben runs a hand through his curls, ducking his head. “Shut up.” You just laugh it off, not missing the way Ben’s eyes linger a second longer than the rest. You give him a little smile before slipping off your coat.

“I brought wine,” you say, holding up a bottle and handing it to Paige. “Not sure if it pairs with whatever we’re making, but it was pretty.” “Perfect,” Paige grins. “Come help me in the kitchen.” As the table resumes their chatter and Ben’s friends move on to another topic—likely something that involves trash-talking each other’s tennis techniques—you follow Paige into the kitchen.

“Okay,” Paige says, opening a cabinet, “we’re doing grilled lemon herb chicken, roasted veggies, and this fancy couscous thing Tommy begged for. Want to help chop?” “Thought you’d never ask.” You tie on an apron and fall into step beside her. The kitchen buzzes with quiet movement: knives on cutting boards, the soft sizzle of garlic on the stove, music playing low from the speaker tucked into the corner.

“So,” Paige says casually after a moment, slicing into a red pepper, “Ben’s cute, right?” You pause, one eyebrow raised. “That was subtle, P.” She shrugs. “Just asking.” You glance through the kitchen opening toward the table where the guys are laughing over something again. Ben’s turned slightly in his chair, one arm thrown over the back, and his eyes drift toward the kitchen more than once.

“He’s definitely cute,” you admit, turning back to your chopping. “Tall. Sweet. Seemed a little shy, though.” “He’s not usually. Not like that.” Paige grins. “You flustered him.” You try not to smile, but you can’t help it. Just then, as if summoned by your thoughts, a soft knock sounds on the wall, and Ben steps into the kitchen.

His curls are a little messier now, his cheeks not quite as red as before, but still a faint tint lingers. “Hey,” he says, looking between you and Paige. “Need an extra hand?” Paige glances at you, then back at him. “Actually… I think Y/n’s got it covered.” She gives you a look, then heads toward the door. “I’m gonna go check on the boys.” You shoot her a look as she slips out, leaving you alone with Ben.

He walks closer, hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Didn’t mean to crash the kitchen party.” “You’re good,” you say, offering him a piece of chopped cucumber from the board. He takes it without hesitation, brushing your fingers slightly. “So…” he starts, then hesitates. “I feel like I should’ve said something cooler when you walked in.

You laugh softly, leaning against the counter. “You were fine.” “I just wasn’t expecting you to be… you know. You.” You tilt your head. “Is that a compliment or…” “Definitely a compliment,” he says quickly, eyes wide. “Like—Tommy mentioned you a couple times, but he didn’t do you justice.” You blink, a little surprised by the honesty.

“That’s… really sweet, actually.” Ben shifts a little closer, resting one hand on the counter beside you, close but not touching. “So, how do you know Tommy again?” “We met at a charity event a few years ago,” you explain. “Mutual friends, ended up hitting it off. He’s like a brother now. Same with Paige.” He nods. “Cool. That’s cool.”

You smile at the awkward repetition, and something about it makes your stomach twist—in a good way. “You’re not from Florida though, right?”“Nantucket originally,” you say. “But I’ve been bouncing around for work. Just moved back east.”“Think you’ll stay?” You shrug. “Maybe. Depends on what life throws at me.”

Ben studies you for a beat, then says, “Hope it throws you this way more often.” You glance up at him, surprised again. He’s still got that relaxed posture, but his eyes—those golden brown eyes—are watching you intently now. The flirty undertone in his voice is unmistakable, but there’s a gentleness there too, something genuine.

You pick up a lemon and roll it across the counter, fingers brushing his hand as you reach for the grater. “I’d like that,” you murmur. There’s a small silence, not uncomfortable, just full—charged with something unspoken. Then, he leans in slightly. “Can I help with anything? Actually help this time.”You hand him a wooden spoon and point to the pan.

“Stir that before it burns.” He does, falling into rhythm beside you, bumping your shoulder lightly with his. You glance over. “This how you flirt? Offering to stir my couscous?” Ben grins, wide and unfiltered. “Only for the important people.” By the time dinner is served, the air around you two has shifted. The others notice, of course—they’re not subtle.

Frances makes a dramatic toast. “To love at first sight and the couscous that brought them together.” Reilly snorts into his wine. Taylor just raises an eyebrow, and Paige shoots you a smug little smirk across the table. Ben, to his credit, takes the teasing in stride, grinning at you like he’s glad it’s obvious. And you… well, you’re pretty glad too.

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d0llainee · 2 days ago

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BOB SHELDONS SISTER X DALLAS!!

I love this idea!! ofc ! 🍓

⊹ ࣪𐙚꒰ Queen of Disaster ꒱｡⋆

- You were the “good” Soc girl on the surface — always perfectly dressed, hair done up with a ribbon, lip gloss always shining — but deep down, you craved a little chaos.

- Dally noticed you one night at Buck’s, standing out like a sore thumb in your pink cardigan and polished smile. He couldn’t believe a Soc chick was brave enough to step onto his side.

- At first, he just wanted to mess with you — call you names and ruffle your hair to get a rise out of you — but you never reacted the way he expected. You’d just smirk, tilt your head, and call him out right back.

- Secret late-night meetings by the lot — you in your big convertible, him hopping into the passenger seat like it was the most normal thing in the world.

- He loved seeing you in your prim little outfits while you climbed over fences or sat on the hood of his car, your white Keds getting dusty.

- You’d tease him about his rough hands and he’d roll his eyes, but secretly he thought you were the prettiest thing he’d ever touched.

- Dally was insanely protective of you, but never in a sweet way — it was gruff, possessive. If a Soc guy so much as looked at you the wrong way, Dally was throwing punches.

- You loved painting your nails while sitting on his bed, half-listening to him talk about New York, and he’d pretend he wasn’t watching you out of the corner of his eye, very much fascinated.

- Bob would lose his mind if he found out — Dally loved that part too. . .

The night was heavy with heat and tension when you spotted him across the lot — Dallas Winston, all leather jacket and lazy smirk, lighting a cigarette like he had nothing to lose. You tapped your polished nails against the steering wheel of Bob’s shiny Mustang, a wicked little idea curling up inside you.

Before you could second-guess it, you were out of the car and crossing the cracked pavement in your white skirt and matching heels. You heard the rough laughter of his friends — Two-Bit whistling low, someone muttering something about “Blonde Chicks.”

Dally didn’t say anything at first. Just watched you with that cocky tilt of his head, cigarette dangling from his lips.

“You lost, sweetheart?” he drawled, voice dripping with mockery.

You smiled sweetly — a practiced smile — and plucked the cigarette right out of his mouth. “Maybe,” you said, holding it up between your fingers like it was a trophy. “Or maybe I’m just bored.”

The lot went silent. Even Dally seemed caught off guard for half a second before his mouth stretched into a dangerous grin.

“You’re Bob Sheldon’s kid sister, ain’t you?” he said, stepping closer, so close you could smell the leather and smoke on him.

You didn’t flinch. “Guess that makes me trouble.”

Dally leaned down, voice low. “Oh, you’re the kind of trouble I like.”

It started from there — whispered conversations in alleyways, stolen kisses in the backseat of your brother’s car. You’d show up to Greaser hangouts in pastel skirts and perfect hair, sitting on Dally’s lap while he ran his calloused hands along the hem of your dress like he couldn’t believe you were real.

He liked calling you “Sweetheart,” but not in a mocking way anymore — it sounded almost… tender, when he said it, though he’d rather die than admit it.

You were supposed to be enemies. But under the stars, with the city buzzing quietly around you, none of that mattered. It was just you and Dally, a girl in pearls and a boy in a leather jacket, daring the world to stop you.

I can’t tell you how much I loved writing for this idea! Sorry it’s so short, I just write very little. But if you’d like this to be a series, I’d totally do it! Hope you enjoyed it 💌 xo

#dallas winston x reader #dallas winston #the outsiders #outsiders #lana del rey #matt dillon #se hinton #dallas winston imagine #dallas winston x you #coquette #dollaine #the outsiders imagine #🧸

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tinywand · 2 days ago

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hey 𝙎𝙏𝙐𝘿 ☆

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ ↝ k.sn x m!reader ɢᴇɴʀᴇ ↝ smut ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ↝ hard drug use, face fucking, unprotected sex, public (???) sex, swearing,

the idols portrayed in this fic are not accurate to how they act IRL and I am not promoting anything done in this fic!

inspo from STUD by Troye Sivan

You were at the first rave of the summer season. Dancing to music, rolling off molly, the occasional line or two of coke. You could finally attend another rave after months of not going due to work. You felt at home. The lights shone unusually bright (due to the molly), and the music sounded extra good (also due to the molly). Everything was perfect tonight.

After an hour, you headed towards the bathroom to freshen up and ensure your outfit was still on correctly. Walking into the area and wiping the sweat from your brow, you met the gaze of a boy. Hazel eyes, black hair, various piercings, and a little white powder on the tip of his nose. The few seconds of eye contact were enough for your heart to beat out of your chest due to your heightened senses.

"Sunoo," One of his friends started, "Isn't it good?" The boy- presumably named Sunoo- broke his gaze with you and looked back to his friends.

He rubbed the rest of the coke off his nose and inhaled strongly. You walked over to the neighboring mirror, fixing the loose straps of your outfit and applying more glitter to various body parts.

"Phew..! Yeah! This is pretty good, Heeseung." You caught his gaze in the mirror, holding it for what felt like forever. You turned around and walked up to his group, noticing Sunoo slightly squirm when he realized what you were doing.

As the other boys looked up, you gave them a small smile.

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you that your outfits are super cool." You did a mental facepalm. You didn't even have a plan, you just knew you needed to get close to Sunoo, even if it was only for the night.

"Thanks! Your outfit is super cool too! How long did it take to assemble it?" One of the younger boys asked. He had blond hair, dark eyes, and glitter across his face.

You felt Sunoo's gaze roam your body as you spoke to the other boy, the feeling sending shivers down your spine.

"Thank you! It didn't take too long. It's an older outfit that I had. What're your guy's names, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, I'm Jungwon." The boy you were chatting with says. Jungwon then points at the tallest one of the three. "That's Heeseung." Heeseung gives a little wave and then rubs his nose a little. "And that's Sunoo." As you turn to look at Sunoo, he's already staring at you. Sunoo gives you a soft smile and whispers a soft hi before talking with Heeseung again. "The rest of our group is scattered around, I'm sure if you stick around you'll see them at some point." Jungwon shrugs his shoulders before turning back to you.

"So, what's your name?" Jungwon asks with a little tilt of his head.

"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you all." You point at Heeseung readying another line. "Do you mind at all or...?"

Heeseung backs up with a smile, "Be my guest!"

You walk over, standing next to Sunoo. Forming the line with your I.D. card, you bend over and snort the line. Coming back up with a grin. You fiddle with your nose a little before looking at them.

"That is pretty good stuff. I have some molly if any of you want some." You say, starting to open your bag up.

Everyone looks at Sunoo and his face lights up. "You have molly?? We weren't able to get any! Some of our friends left the group to find some for me- er, I mean us!" Everyone lets out a chuckle and you hand Sunoo a pill. Sunoo grabs his water bottle and takes the molly almost immediately.

Heeseung steps forward. "So how about we get out of the bathroom and enjoy the rave? I'm feeling pumped!" Heeseung says enthusiastically, then slides past everyone, leading the group out the door.

You all walk out of the bathroom and head towards the crowd. You follow closely behind Sunoo, scanning his body with your eyes. Everything around you kept buzzing but him. Your eyes traced along his shoulders, down to his skinny waist, and finally his cute little ass. Sunoo turns around amidst the crowd, catching you checking him out.

"You perv! I knew the look from earlier had something more to it!" Sunoo giggles and grabs your hand while your cheeks get hot from embarrassment. "Let me take you somewhere."

Sunoo breaks away from the group and leads you to his 'spot', keeping his hand in yours. Various turns and pushes against people later, and you end up secluded from almost everyone. You look behind you, and the slight glow from the light show illuminates the distant crowd.

"Just a little further, come on!" Sunoo turns back to look at you, a glint of excitement and something much darker in his eyes. His grasp on your hand tightens as you round the last corner behind a wall.

Sunoo pushes you against a wall and crashes his lips onto yours, almost immediately forcing his tongue into your mouth. You don't hesitate to fight back, putting your hands in his hair and slightly pulling on it.

Sunoo moans into your mouth and tries to slip his hands under your tight shirt, failing due to the straps clasped on the hem of your shirt and waistband of your pants.

In between breaths, Sunoo lets out a small, "Help me." Without breaking the kiss, you slide your hands from his hair and undo the buckles, hearing them hit the concrete floor. Sunoo darts his hands under your shirt, feeling your toned physique, and lets out a small gasp into your mouth.

Sunoo pushes closer against you and starts to grind against your leg, rubbing his hard cock against your leg. You bite down on Sunoo's bottom lip and pull on his hair, making him throw his head back and let out a loud moan. You then lean into his neck, licking the tender flesh until finally biting down.

"A-Aahh! Y/n..!" Sunoo puts a hand on the back of your head and continues to roll his hips against your thigh, dry-humping you like a needy dog. You continue the assault on his neck, biting and sucking in various spots on his sensitive, pale neck. It doesn't take long until you feel Sunoo's hands undoing the buttons on your jeans and tugging on them. He slides down until he's face to face with your erection, the only thing keeping them separated being your boxers.

Sunoo gives you a sultry look through his eyelashes and pulls down on the waistband of your boxers. Your cock springs out excitedly and twitches feeling Sunoo's breath against the tip.

Sunoo grins and licks his lips subtly. "You're bigger than I thought you'd be.." He wraps a hand around the shaft and starts to pump.

You bite on your lip, struggling to keep your breath even. "Is it a pleasant surprise?"

He looks back up at you, a ravenous look painting his face. "Of course, it's a good surprise, what kind of question is that?" Sunoo licks the tip of your cock, sending small jolts of electricity throughout your body.

Sunoo doesn't let you respond before putting more of you into his mouth. A gasp escapes your mouth as you instinctively place a hand on the back of his head again, slightly bucking your hips into his mouth. Sunoo places his hands against your thighs, struggling to fit more of you into his mouth.

The mix of the molly and the coke makes you desperate for more, sober you would feel bad for what you're about to do, but high you? You need it. You push Sunoo's head further onto your cock, getting pleasure from hearing him gag. Sunoo looks back up at you, understanding your wants.

Sunoo also usually wouldn't be able to do this, but again, the mix of molly and coke has also made him extremely horny. Sunoo loosens his throat and takes a small breath through his nose while he can before swallowing more of your cock. He looks up at you, wanting approval from his newfound fuck buddy, and is met with a grin. The sight is enough to make him want more.

You slowly thrust your hips in and out of his mouth, speeding up after seeing that Sunoo wants it just as bad as you do. You place both hands on his head, holding him steady as your pace speeds up. Feeling his warm throat and tongue wrapped around your cock is exhilarating, causing you to clench your teeth harder and throw your head back. Ragged breaths and deep moans escape your mouth. You look back down at Sunoo after feeling his hands leave your thighs and see that he's started to jerk himself off to you.

"Sunoo, I- I'm gonna cum." You try to pull out of his mouth, but Sunoo has other plans.

With one motion, Sunoo takes your whole length into his mouth and throat. Sunoo gags profusely but keeps your cock in his mouth, trying his hardest to keep his composure. The tightening of his throat tips you over the edge and you spill your thick seed down his throat. Tears well up in Sunoo's eyes, but you watch his throat with each swallow he does, ensuring he doesn't let a single drop out of his mouth. He finally releases your dick from his jaw and comes off of it with a slight pop.

Your chest slowly rises with each breath, your head cloudy from the orgasm and the comedown of the coke.

"Holy shit Sunoo." You managed to mutter out, looking into his hazel eyes.

Sunoo lets out a light giggle after licking his lips. "Sorry, I get really horny on molly." He teases. His eyes are on your cock again, an insatiable look on his face. "Since you're still hard, I'm assuming you get horny off molly too?"

You look down and sure enough... You still have a boner. You sheepishly smile, feeling a little embarrassed.

You look away, feeling nervous. "Haha... Yeah, I do, but don't worry about that." You pull up your boxers and Sunoo's hand meets yours, stopping you midway.

"Nobody will see us back here, and I want- no- need more from you," Sunoo says, his eyes making contact with yours as you look back at him. Sunoo's eyes are hooded with lust and he drops his pants and underwear, bunching at his ankles.

A heat floods your body as you flip his body and push him against the wall.

"Thank god you said that." You quickly position yourself at Sunoo's entrance, his laugh quickly becoming moans as you slide deep into him. "Fuck Sunoo, you're so fucking tight."

Sunoo winces at the feeling of his hole being stretched but quickly becomes addicted as he feels your hips slowly move against him. Sunoo tries to hold back his moans, struggling from the pleasure hitting him deeply. "Holy shit Y/n, you're so fucking big."

"I'm sorry Sun, I can't help but move, you feel too good..." You softly move in and out of him, not wanting to hurt Sunoo even more. Sunoo lets out a moan and starts to move his ass against your cock.

"You can go faster Y/n, please, go faster," Sunoo begs. That's all you need to hear as you slam into his hole, your skin slapping with his as every quick thrust you do makes contact with his skin. Sunoo lets out moans, each becoming more higher pitched than the last.

Sunoo lets out a moan, louder and longer than the rest. "F-Fuck! Right there Y/n right there! Oh my god yes yes yes yes yes!" Sunoo continues his gibberish as you hit the same spot within him. You feel his body tense as you start to pump his cock and run your finger over his wet slit that's coated with his precum.

Sunoo lets out the most sleazy noise you've ever heard in your life as his semen dribbles out of his cock and onto your hand. Without thinking you put your fingers into his mouth, making him taste his own jizz while you continue to slam into him.

Sunoo licks up his mess off your fingers, letting an onslaught of moans escape his mouth. If anyone was looking for you, it'd be pretty easy to figure out where you went.

With a couple of sloppy thrusts, you finish inside of Sunoo, bending over him and moaning his name into his ear. You pull out of him and let out a sigh as you watch your cum slide down his balls and drip onto the floor.

Sunoo slowly pulls up his boxers and pants and turns to look at you.

"Definitely didn't expect this to be a part of my night, but I'm happy nonetheless." Sunoo gives you a cheeky grin. "I knew once we made eye contact, I'd make you give me what I needed."

You cross your arms, scoffing in a teasing manner. "So it was all premeditated? Cause I knew once I saw you with that coke on my nose that you could give a mean blowjob." You laugh as Sunoo playfully punches your arm.

"Don't ruin it!" Sunoo laughs and takes your hand into his again. "We should probably find the others... Besides, I could go for another line."

You nod and lead the way back into the crowd. "You said exactly what I was thinking."

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xoxo-stellea · 3 days ago

Text

ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴏʀᴋ

The first part of my ☘︎ Chris Sturniolo x fem!reader series

Warnings: drug and alcohol consumption, suggestive language and behavior, mention of suicidal thoughts (jokes), suggestive clothing

„Fuck that stupid shit I swear I’ll end it all if this doesn’t work“

You yell through the not so big hotel room what makes Tara peak her head into the bathroom. Her gaze falls onto you standing in front the the bathroom mirror trying to do you eyeliner, what doesn’t quite work.

„Girl calm your pretty ass down and no you’re not gonna end it up shut your bitch ass up“

Tara responds before making her way into the bathroom looking you up and down taking in the black, glittery dress that tightly hugs your curves.

She takes the eyeliner pen out of your hand and grabs your shoulders to turn your face towards hers. As she has a better view now she easily draws on two perfect sitting wings.

„How the actual fuck do you do this?“

You ask a little stunned but also pissed way just cus whenever you try to do your eyeliner you always just look like an 2020 poser alt girl.

„I don’t know ask someone else girl“

She replies before walking out of the bathroom again continuing to pick out her outfit for tonight. She looks around the already very messy hotel room as she spots some short black dress and puts it on.

Meanwhile you’re still doing your make up since what? 2 hours?

But finally you put on some setting spray and walk out to show Tara your finished make up and outfit.

„You look like a whore, a very pretty and elegant whore tho“

She comments.

„You too girl but I love it“

She smirks before checking her phone.

„Jake and Johnnie are waiting at the elevator down the hallway…those triplets are gonna be at the club too“

„I mean I’ve never met them personally but they seem quite cool?“

You say or rather ask cus Tara already met them.

„Yeah I mean I’ve filmed a video with Nick and Chris but I don’t know if you get along with them, you don’t get along with…like people in general but I’m sure it’ll be cool“

She exclaims before picking up her black bag from the bed and throwing it over her shoulder before looking at you again.

You too take your bag and put it under your arm while trying to figure out how to fix the light stand of hair that’s hanging down from your head.

„Yeah sure but we should really go now them bitches are waiting for us“

You say before just tugging the hair behind your ear. The two of you head for the door and down the hallway towards the elevator.

As you and Tara reach the elevator Jake and Johnnie are already leaning against the wall beside the door waiting for the two of you.

„Heyyy“

Jake says as he gives you a hug.

„What’s up“

You answer before taking a step the the side and hugging Johnnie. He hugs you back before opening his mouth and saying;

„We’ve been waiting for like half an hour here, what the hell have you two been doing?“

„Oh we were just making out and blowing each other for a second“

You jokingly blurt out.

„Very funny Y/N, very funny“

He responds.

„We should actually go now I don’t wanna spend anymore time sober“

Tara declares before pressing a button outside the elevator, opening the door. You, Tara, Jake and Johnnie step in and Jake presses the button to close the door.

„So Jake…you know the triplets right?“

You ask.

„Yeah I do I’ve filmed one or two videos with them they’re pretty chill, why tho you looking for your next one night stand or what?“

He responds before walking through the opening elevator doors, stepping out into the hotel lobby and walking toward the exit.

„Maybe who knows, that Chris guys does look hot…well at least I think it’s Chris lol it is a little weird to have someone three times at once but who cares if the dick is b-“

You can’t finish your sentence as Tara disrupts you to protect herself.

„Girl please we’re in one room I will not lay there while you and some dude are banging I swear“

„Who said it’s not gonna be a threesome huh“

You joke before walking after Jake.

You climb in after Jake, who somehow already managed to take up half the damn back seat like it’s his personal Uber.

“Can you move your leg? I’m not trying to sit on your dick,”

You of course very politely ask.

„Let me think…umm no“

You roll your eyes so hard you might pull a muscle. Tara shoves herself in next, immediately complaining,

“Well maybe don’t bring a whole suitcase of ass next time,”

Jake mutters.

“Shut the fuck up,”

You spit back.

Johnnie climbs into the front, immediately connecting to the aux and blasting some chaotic mix of emo throwbacks and Megan Thee Stallion.

“This Uber’s about to be reported for noise pollution,”

You groan.

The rest of the way to the bar it’s surprisingly chill as Jake and Johnnie just stare at their phones and you and Tara talk about what you would do if you had a dick for one day.

About 15 minutes later the four of you arrive at the club and get out of the uber after Johnnie payed.

„Ima get so drunk that my fucking liver explodes“

You basically yell through half New York, a few people giving me weird looks.

All of you walk to the line of the club and after about 20 minutes of waiting you finally get in.

The moment you step inside, the club air hits you like a punch to the chest- thick, hot, and vibrating with energy.

It’s the kind of heat that clings to your skin instantly, mixed with the sharp tang of spilled drinks, perfume, sweat, and neon.

The bass is so loud it feels like it’s crawling up your spine, pulsing in your chest like a second heartbeat.

People are everywhere, dancing, laughing, shouting over the music, pressed together like no one’s ever heard of personal space.

The lights are flashing in sync with the beat, casting the whole place in a hazy blur of color and movement.

You can barely see ten feet ahead of you, but it doesn’t matter. This isn’t the kind of place you navigate with logic- it’s chaos, it’s noise, it’s adrenaline.

You and Tara immediately make your way to the bar while Jake and Johnnie seek a place to store all of your and their stuff for the night.

„Umm yeah one pornstar martini, one vodka coke and two espresso martinis please“

You watch Tara as she tells the bartender the drinks and starts the tab for the night. She turns back to you as she’s done speaking and right as Jake and Johnnie come back the bartender puts the drinks in front of you.

Tara and you sit on two of the barstools while Jake Johnnie decide to just keep standing. You take your pornstar martini, Tara her Vodka Coke and Johnnie and Jake their espresso martinis.

After raising your glasses everyone took a sip of their drink before either putting it onto the bar or keeping it in their hand.

You look around the club deciding what to do next as you suddenly feel Tara’s hand around your wrist as she pulls you into the crowd of dancing people.

The music is so loud that you can’t even understand what she’s saying and the alcohol and the light doesn’t really help your sense of direction.

But as the two of you start to dance together everything just fades into one big mess, your hair flying around and sticking a little to your face.

As you and Tara sing out your souls and throwing your hands into the air you just let go of everything around you.

But as you stop for a second to take a little breaths do look around the club you meet someone’s gaze…Chris

As you breath heavily and try to control your hair that’s basically everywhere on your face he just looks at you through all the other people between you and him, and so do you.

You can’t look away, something in his blue eyes hypnotizes you and makes you unable to draw your gaze away.

Tara is still singing her voice away but you just stand there in the middle of the big crowd that surrounds you and him.

He starts to make his way towards you pushing all the people to the side. Not forcefully but very gentle and careful, with every step he makes towards you your heart beats a little faster.

And still, he doesn’t look away from you, always keeping his gaze on your face or body taking all of you.

As he finally stands just three feet away from you your breath hitches.

Tara is still completely oblivious to the whole situation just dancing beside you.

Chris looks you up and down before a grin appears on his face.

„Y/N right?“

He leans in, his figure towering over you as he steps closer, the faint sound of a bass-heavy track reverberating through the walls of the club.

The dim lighting casts a moody glow, flickering in time with the pulsing beats that fill the air. A mix of chatter, clinking glasses, and the occasional laugh echoes in the background, but his presence cuts through it all.

His voice, deep and smooth, rises above the noise as he asks, his tone teasing yet full of intent, making the space between you both feel charged with anticipation.

The strobe lights catch his features as he inches even closer, the electric energy of the club buzzing around you both, but all you can focus on is him- his eyes locked on yours, the crowd around you fading into the background.

„Yeah that’s me“

„You’re a fired if Tara, Johnnie and Jake right?“

He asks or rather yells over the loud music.

„Yeah“

You yell back.

His grin widens as he moves around you in a swift motion and puts his hands on your waist. You just accept your fate.

You lean your head back against his shoulder as both of you move your body’s to the music. You grin your hip again his while he keeps his hand on there.

By now Tara caught onto what’s happening and made her way back to Jake and Johnnie laughing her ass off.

But you didn’t even notice her disappearing. Chris leans his head to your ear.

„You’re in the same hotel as me and brothers right?

You nod knowing exactly how this night was going to end. You shoot around to find Tara, Jake or Johnnie to tell them that your were leaving.

You meet Jake’s gaze who grins and nods knowing what’s going on. After making sure someone knows what’s happening you grab Chris‘ hand and lead him out off the building while he was already ordern an uber.

The cold night air hit you directly in the face as you leave the club with Chris right behind you.

After a few minutes of being pressed against a wall and making out later you and him finally got into the Uber.

You sit down beside him but just a second later as the uber driver starts to move the car through the streets of NYC you sit on his lap straddling his hip with yours.

Just two minutes after arriving at the hotel the door to your room falls shut as Chris presses you up against the wall beside the door.

His lips are all over you as he throws you onto the bed…

Notes: guysss I’m finished with the first laugh and for gods sake I hope that y’all like ts and no I cannot keep my bitch ahhggg dirty humor to myself x

@mattybernard @toffeesfingerrr @acvpoftae @bookieluvss12 @ilovethetripletsandmw @cowgirl123451-blog @namelesssav @fadingdonutfire @mattyummyy @ggraycelynn @thesecretofceleste @jinellerivera20

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