#//IF ITS NOT RELEVANT TO THE TAG DON'T FUCKING PUT IN THERE!!

[mechahero]

//Trying to look through tags only to be hit with pictures of people's chests and junk

[osamid]

an interesting (unpopular? i think?) soukoku opinion i have is i don't think dazai was oblivious to his feelings towards chuuya, like ever. i understand WHY people interpret dazai as having trouble identifying and reckoning with his emotions; i'm not knocking it! there's plenty of evidence to suggest that and also i think it fits with his actions. HOWEVER. for me dazai is the most fun when he's deliberately suppressing and neglecting his own feelings. dazai realizes at the tender age of like 15 that he's at least infatuated with chuuya, and his first instinct is "well how do i compartmentalize that. how do i make sure this doesn't interfere with my plans and our job at the mafia." and then he compromises with his emotions by keeping chuuya close but not allowing himself to seem too affectionate or "trick" chuuya into liking him back. i think this version of dazai is most compelling to me because then the struggle isn't "get blockhead dazai to realize he's in/can love" its "get blockhead dazai to realize he's allowed to indulge in love" which is much more fun, especially when you have seven (or even more, i don't think this mindset would be limited to chuuya) years worth of distancing himself from his own emotions to contend with.

[gachaparadise]

ahhh the Penacony leaks are really coming in now.

*chuckles* I'm in danger.

[loathsomespider]

theres this function that content warnings serve that i think is really, really underappreciated and its not just as a warning for those who wouldnt want to read it, but as a function of like. acknowledgement that you are writing about said topics, like. i'm pretty laissez-faire about putting content warnings on pages of my comic but i know for certain there is stuff i'm going to have to tag very thoroughly.

and like. i think people would be more receptive of content warnings and be more willing to if it wasnt something slapped on to satisfy "pearl-clutchers" or "antis" or whatever phrase we're using to talk around the phrase "triggered sjw" today, but acted as an extension of a summary or elevator pitch, like.

a content warning can be extremely valuable in building a confidence that an author is knowing what the fuck they're doing, which is way, way more relevant to a text than literally anything else, like. im not against reading a story where sexual assault or something similarly gnarly happens, but i definitely don't want to read someone pissing and shitting their way around sexual assault like an idiot and someone saying "hey im going here" is a great heuristic for whether someones a fucking idiot or not

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

cw for ; cheating like really bad cheating dskfsk, mind games, bisexual reader (its relevant!!!), emotional sadism, yandere in the most uncomfortable flavor, and sexuality fuckery.

readers gender is intentionally left neutral!!. @p00pdev1l tag for my beloved.

You can feel yourself starting to cry again.

You have a headache. The noise of the izakaya is flooding out into the streets. Even with alcohol and cigarettes and other distractions, you can't help but feel like you're about to throw up. The dry-heave works itself up to your throat, and you smoke a little to shove it back down.

You were careful this time.

When you hear footsteps walk themselves next to you, and see nice black dress shoes from your gaze is downcast - you already know it's Suguru.

You feel yourself getting sick again. Your voice is hoarse, scratchy with pain and tears. You're unimaginably angry at him, and you're sure if you were a little drunker, you'd take your pocket knife to his throat.

But the words don't come. You're so frustrated you just ended up crying again, hiccuping. Something falls onto your shoulders, a jacket that smells like cologne.

That wakes you up, makes you turn your head to one side. Your heartbeat is hard and loud, and your anger is the only thing in your body. Your seething, all hard lines and rage.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He shrugs. "It's cold. You'll get sick."

"Don't act like you give a single fuck about me, you psychopath."

His reaction to that is cold. Makes your blood run cold. "Call me whatever you want but don't say I don't care about you."

"Fuck off, Suguru," The feeling of his name is intimate in the same way knives are. Sharp against the roof of your mouth because of the smooth way the syllables slice. The familiarity of a cut. "Go inside and fuck off. Go be with..." Your words trail off.

"I'd rather be out here," He assures, then shrugs. He joins you in smoking, but you turn your gaze back to the pavement so you don't have to look. "She'll be fine without me."

There's a lot of things you don't understand about him. What you understand least though is this. How long has it gone on? How long did he plan on doing this?

The first time Getou stole the girl you loved from you, you're nearly too heartbroken to stay friends with him. It was your first real crush. A girl in the same year as you. You loved her. She smelled soft like roses and put her head in your lap. You managed to confess to her despite yourself at the end of your second-year.

She was your friend, still - even as she let you down gently. Told you that she had a boyfriend now. He was your friend, actually.

The first time it happened, you thought about cutting your ties with Getou. He didn't pretend to be apologetic to you, said she was cute and he liked her. He didn't say he was sorry.

Instead he said: "You shouldn't be with a girl who could get over you so easily." And leaves it at that.

You almost got physical with him, you remember. Gojo stopped you.

Over the years, the incident becomes pattern enough to recognize. The first is a mistake, the second a frustrating coincidence. The third time it happens you do get into an altercation. Each time Getou confronts you he says the same thing. That if a girl really loved you, she wouldn't been with him so easily. If a girl really loved you, she shouldn't have been so easy for him to persuade.

You think abut killing him. It's so frustrating, so humiliating, so painful it nearly puts you in therapy. The fourth time in happens, you try to cut him off but you can't. Your lives are so tied together you can't avoid seeing him and for whatever reason he can't leave you alone.

When there's no one you're interested in, he's your friend after all. That's the strangest part. The part that makes the least sense, that he acts like your fucking friend when he does that to you but he does it again and again and again. It hurt less when it was just puppy crushes. Eventually you grew numb to it. Gave up on love for a while.

When you meet Mikoto, you don't make the mistake of showing your interest. You especially don't show it around Getou. On the job, a sorcerer from a branch in the Nara prefecture who's recently moved. A nice woman with black hair and soft eyes, you seek her friendship first and don't let yourself indulge in anything more.

You don't dote on her more than friends. You don't show your feelings off. You don't tell anyone, not even Gojo whom you tell everything, or Shoko - who you tell when you don't want Getou finding out. You bury the feeling of love in yourself and hope they die there. You hope she ends up with anyone but you, or you in some miracle.

You fall in love with her because it's who you are. Getou shows up with her at your gathering the minute you begin to accept it.

If he doesn't hate you, it must be something much stronger. Disgust or pure disdain. Something stronger than hate must drive him to do this so perpetually.

It's not even something you can tell anyone. What do you tell girls before you go out with them? What do you say to people when they ask why you and him act so odd?

There's nothing to say. Nothing to explain. It's so fucked up that you wouldn't even know where to begin.

Your voice is trembling as you take another drag of your cigarette. "How did you know?"

He laughs a little. "You make it obvious."

"Why do you keep doing this to me...?" You ask, defeated. Broken, maybe. "....I really loved her."

Getou shrugs again. You can tell even if you don't see it. "She was the same as the rest of them. I'm doing you a favor."

"Do you even like her?"

He takes a drag of his cigarette and looks at you a little longer than you expct. "So-so."

"I hate you," You give up on everything else, letting your cigarette fall to the ground. Your voice is shot. "You're fucking horrible. Just leave me alone. Please, please just leave me alone."

There's a minute of silence there. He stamps his own cigarette out and sighs. "You should come in. You'll catch a cold." You don't reply. He sighs again. "I'll buy you a drink."

You break down in tears all over again.

When you're in highschool, you date Satoru for a week.

Suguru remembers this. It's one of the only things about his highschool experience that feel standout. A defining moment of his youth, where the two of you try it just because everyone says you should and neither of you really like it. You end up being friends again, laughing it off after it happens.

But he hated it.

There was a pit in his stomach the entire week. Even though you barely dated, and only really held hands as a joke - Suguru hated it. You kissed Satoru too, you confessed. He was a decent kisser, but you didn't feel much.

It was a joke of a relationship. Still.

He remembers too, the first time you had your first real crush. Up until then, you'd really never thought of anyone else. There was no one for Suguru to care about. But he remembers exactly when it happened, and where - how the four of you were slacking off in the storage room, passing around Shoko's cigarette. He remembers the way you got embarrassed telling them about her. How you could barely keep the smile off of your face.

The first time Suguru steals someone from you, it's during highschool. It wasn't because he had really wanted her. He hated her. Hated how she smiled at you and hated how innocently she spoke. But when he stepped closer to her, she blushed.

It was to get her to fall for him. And that wouldn't do, he didn't think. How could you like someone with so little resolve? When she couldn't be even a little loyal to you?

He asked her out on a whim that time. But he saw how angry it made you. How your eyes were wet with tears and how much you hated him in that moment.

How much you thought of him. Have you ever before then? Considered him so much? Suguru didn't think so.

It becomes an obsession, Suguru can admit. It didn't really matter who it was, though it'd been mostly girls. Anyone you showed interest in. Anyone who caught your eye. Suguru got their first and you always, always looked so miserable about it. Like a puppy who can't get on a couch, he thinks.

He prefers when you've already been with them. He prefers knowing that your skin has touched theirs. The parts of you that linger in their life become Suguru's so wholly. When he can smell your scent and taste your cigarette smoke. It'd be better if it was you, but there was something gratifying in this.

In the roundabout ways of finding you. Of seeing pictures of you in their phone, or of tasting you. It's like being with you, even though it's never enough. Always wants to make him break you more.

He likes when they cheat on you with him. He likes when it's just after. They get some cheap thrill out of it. Suguru can entertain it even if it disgusts him.

It's the only way your shirts end up in his closet. The only way he can smell your new shampoo so deeply because you share it. They think that he must hate you. He's sure you think that too.

But that's not it. He couldn't hate you. All the people he's ever fucked, he's tried to find evidence of your intimacy with them. Kiss marks he didn't leave on their skin, clothes they don't own, music they wouldn't normally listen to. You would. They're all yours.

He'd ask about you to them. Often. Listen to the parts of yourself that you'd been trying to keep secret from him.

He'd take it all by force and discard them all afterwards. That was all he wanted. You were all he wanted.

He liked seeing you angry with him. Liked seeing you cry and weep. Liked that you couldn't go anywhere or love anyone without thoughts of him following you and haunting you.

Satoru thinks he should just ask you out already. Suguru doesn't think he's broken you down enough. You need it to hurt a little more. You need to think of him a little more until you can't love anyone else.

Suguru wants to see you hurt a little more. Until you're so broken you're really begging. When he brings her with him today, you react even worse than he could have hoped for it. He shivers a little thinking about it.

He's getting closer to really breaking you, he thinks.

He looks at you now as he puts out his cigarette, broken from his thoughts.

"You should come in. You'll catch a cold." You don't reply. He sighs again. "I'll buy you a drink."

Suguru turns around to leave after he says it. Goes back inside. Before the door of the izakaya closes again, he can hear the way you sob so desperately.

He smiles at that. Just a little.

[discjude]

Oh boy oh boy its the discjude official COVEN bingo card!!! not many are about the coven themselves because i uh uh don't know too much about them but yeah. I've put a brief explanation of each of these under the cut (because a few are vague) (WARNING its a lot):

Lady Lesso mentioned: this one sort of coincides with "hester true evil speech". I reckon she's important enough to the witches to warrant a mention. Also. I think all of the Lessos might be relevant but I talk about that in my predictions

Obligatory Sophie cameo: she's Soman's favourite. She's showing up

Political commentary: based off of his substack, I don't think Soman will go too overt with it, but I think there'll be a more roundabout one. I'd love to see him address the fact that he wrote in that homophobia is a thing in SGE. Soman if you can hear me

Drag race reference: He's done this a lot before, in QFG mostly, and I think he'll do it again

TCY acknowledged: this could be like a "haha yeah you remember how the storian almost got destroyed? that was kinda crazy aha". I have a horrible feeling that he's going to completely skip over that part of canon

Hester gives a speech about "true evil": i mean come ooonnnnnnn. I also think this'll include something about evil love that contradicts the canon about it

No blatant fatphobia regarding dot: Soman phased this out in TCY I think he'll have stuck with it

Rats are, somehow, back. Not explained: Japeth killed at least one of those things and I genuinely think Soman will have forgotten it

Events of R+F acknowledged: ties into my predictions a bit, but I reckon the setup regarding neverland and the other stuff in Fall might come up

I'm right about my predictions: I think the entire thing looks very aquatic themed, and there's a lot regarding evil water stuff, so a) the mermaids are relevant b) the saders are (still) relevant c) the lessos are relevant. that's the big three in my opinion. I can't wait to be horrifically wrong

Storian still at fault: i mean. name one book where it isn't. and you cant say OTK that doesnt COUNT

Symbolic ending of the series thing: I want the storian dead. thats what this one means

Obligatory tagatha: come onnnnnnnnn

There is at least one twink: yeah. not much to say here

Vaguely pub-style setting: this one also includes "why is everything british" because i said so

None Japeth: Japeth is mentioned by name exactly no times. I'd love to have faith but I really don't

Tennis reference: I fucking CAUGHT Botic being a tennis player's surname in the prequels. he's GOING to try it again

Colour/lighting symbolism: have a draft rn about colour symbolism in SGE and I think Soman might lean into it

At least one snake: please i want to feel something

hestadil real: come ON he's doing this every tiktok post about coven has had the hestadil tag he's doing this

Aric is referenced: goes with my predictions and lady lesso being mentioned. I hate to say it I think he's far more likely to be referenced than Japeth

Big unanswered question gets answered: the BIG!! one is the Aric Dad Reveal. I want to know for parallel reasons and I think it could happen. maybe

no wait! We'll use the power of friendship: speaks for itself. something like this happens

major character death: goodbye dot. im being fr I think she's dying in coven

Thank you dearly to @liketwoswansinbalance for some of these entries I really struggled to think of some. Also no I'm not convinced of my predictions. But it'd be nice. right

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: vacation edition

— strawhats being a cute friend group once again

— male reader, everyone having the tiniest crush on him too but thats only if u swuint (im a very selfindulgent writer sorry)

— also i imagine robin, franky and brook to be older than the rest of hte crew, but not like crazy older. its probably not really relevant, but like mid twenties insead of their thirties and forties LMFAOA the rest of the crew is young twenties

liked by ._.[name], princesanji, and 10k others

dni_nami: pre-7hr flight question, how long until we all start killing each other? everyone place your bets

tagged: ._.[name], freeluffy, and princesanji

uso_pp: we barely made it through the airport without losing luffy, so i'm placing my bet on one hour.

[liked by ._.[name], roro.zoro, and 20 others]

-> dr.law: i'm surprised you even made it through airport security....

-> freeluffy: TOORRAOO YOU SHOULD'VE COME IT WOULDVE BEEN SO FUNNNN!!!

-> dr.law: hard pass. good luck everyone else.

._.[name]: i think it's gonna be fine !!! what's the worst that can happen tbh

-> dni_nami: i could list 100 reasons why this is gonna go bad and all of them involve luffy.

-> robinkills: [name]'s right, i think this trip is going to be very fun !

liked by roro.zoro, robinkills, and 11k others

freeluffy: [name] rented bikes for us, but he won't let me drive :/

tagged: ._.[name]

SUPERCOLA: good job [name] for saving his life, much appreciated

dni_nami: i'm begging you two to not crash and make the expenses of our trip go up even more

-> princesanji: always thinking logically, nami, this is why i love you so much <333333333333333

roro.zoro: pick up some sake otw back

-> ._.[name]: yesyesyes we all know thats the only reason why you came anyway, i'll pick some up

-> roro.zoro: what. no way. i definitely wanted to be sat on a hours long flight next to luffy and be living in a small apartment with all of my friends who dont know how to speak quietly and wont let me sleep even when its already early morning. what. i am so excited to be here.

-> uso_pp: alright we get it please stop

liked by princesanji, SUPERCOLA, and 8k others

robinkills: thank you [name] for winning me the prizes :)

tagged: ._.[name]

._.[name]: anything for you robin <3 aka the person thats keeping all of us sane right now <3

princesanji: HOW DARE THIS BAFFOON STEAL YOU AWAY ROBIN PLEASE LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM, I WILL MAKE SURE HE NEVER BOTHERS YOU AGAIN

-> uso_pp: when is sanji going to accept the fact that [name] is actually apart of this friend group and that he is also more favored by the women we interact with

-> ._.[name]: dw usopp he only puts on a hard front, he ltr begged me to room with him so he could cuddle w me at night. he's just being shy rn

[liked by dni_nami, roro.zoro, and 40 others]

freeluffy: [NAME] [NAME] DID YOU GET ME THEONE I WANTED TOO??!?!?! REMEMBER I SHOWED YOU

-> ._.[name]: yes luffy :) we are otw back and i have the one you asked for as well.

-> SUPERCOLA: [name] the absolute goat in dealing with luffy and his absurd requests so the rest of us dont have to

liked by freeluffy, roro.zoro, ._.[name], and 9k others

uso_pp: morning debrief where we all share embarrassing stories, like how [name] almost stripped completely naked drunk last night because an ice spice song was playing on the karaoke.

._.[name]: alright genuinely why the fuck did that have to be the caption you put on the internet for the whole world to see

-> roro.zoro: no dont be embarassed [name] it was funny watching you try and copy her signature pose

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 90 others]

-> dni_nami: don't think about even crossing me in the future, i have a video of the whole thing bby

-> ._.[name]: GOD FORBID A GUY HAS FUN

skullnsoul: i found [name]'s dancing and singing quite endearing

-> ._.[name]: thank you brook :') you're so sweet

-> skullnsoul: yes, although i feel like you're much too old to be wearing underwear with hearts as the print, [name]. i suggest buying new pairs of boxers :)

-> ._.[name]: what the actual fuck

liked by princesanji, uso_pp, and 11k others

dni_nami: i really wish you could hear sanji cursing [name] outin this photo

tagged: princesanji and ._.[name]

._.[name]: me when im literally following the instructions that hes telling me and i somehow still get yelled at

-> princesanji: do you even understand hwo cooking meat works? everyone would have gotten salmonella and food poisoning if i didn't teach you how

->._.[name]: yelling is never the answer sanji

-> freeluffy: I THINK [NAME]'S COOKING TASTED REALLY GOOD

uso_pp: they acc cookeedddd tho like our food was so tastyyy

[liked by princesanji, ._.[name], and 9 others]

robinklills: sanji almost shoved [name]'s head into the griller, it was funny

-> ._.[name]: HE WHAT ??!?!?! I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT HE TRIED DOING THA TWHAT THE FUCK

liked by princesanji, ._.[name], and 12k others

roro.zoro: [name] told me to post this photo he took.

tagged: princesanji and ._.[name]

dni_nami: awww look all the boys finally getting along

[liked by robinkills, uso_pp, vivi, and 50 others]

-> princesanji: i would have much rather been in your presence my queen, i love you so much

-> ._.[name]: sanjii give up the bit for fucks sake

uso_pp: where was me and luffy's inv ??? ig its like that now ....

-> roro.zoro: you guys were playing mermaids in the pool at the apartment and explicitly told us to not interfere with your serious business

-> princesanji: and then you started getting mad at us for invitig you again right before we left

._.[name]: damn zoro u lookin mad fine in this photo shiiiitttt #smash

-> roro.zoro: i need you to make sure your door is locked later tn or else i cant promise you will wake up the next day

liked by dni_nami, vivi, roro.zoro, and 12k others

._.[name]: thank u nami for the photos

tagged: dni_nami

._.[name]: btw nami made me post this w that caption so it could "scare away the hoes"

-> dni_nami: im doing them a favor, they just dont know it yet cuz ur fucking insane

-> uso_pp: LMFAOAO

purrrona: can i bite it?

-> ._.[name]: BITE WHAT?????

-> purrrona: so is that a yes or a no?

-> uso_pp: professional dick rider alert !!!!

roro.zoro: why is your thirst trap the first thing i have to see when i open this app

-> ._.[name]: why are you acting like you weren't the first person to like this post???

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 57 others]

portgasace: WHY THE FUCK WAS I NOT INVITED ON THIS TRIP?????

dr.law: id also like to thank nami for the photos

[arcanewhoosh]

The Weight (2/3)

AO3 link here

5.5k words

Proofread? Y/N

Relevant tags: Jinx x Reader, Alcohol, Alcohol Consumption

After an eventful first meeting, you and Powder end up at a local bar. Between the blatant flirting and jokes at your expense, you find yourself making decisions that surprise the both of you.

A/N This will finish in three chapters. Don't look at the word count I'm not trying to stuff everything to stick with the original chapter count wdym.

"Hey, I—I had every reason to think that your engine block was fucked."

"Clearly you don't know much about engines."

"Excuse you, I know enough… I'm just better at captaining."

Powder rolls her eyes at you, before shouting over the noise of the bar. "Two more drinks here, Ed! And maybe a water for the lightweight!"

"Hey!" She can only laugh as you playfully jab her with your elbow. "I'm not a lightweight, your metabolism is probably just insane."

She snorts at your response before taking the drinks Ed places in front of you. "Ed, tell Powder I'm not a lightweight."

"Doesn't matter if you ain't a lightweight, this missy's drinkin' you under the table here, muppet." He says as he sends a wink towards your companion.

Your hand waves dismissively at the bartender. "Bah, whatever, take her side." Ed slides the glass of water towards you, and you grumble as you start downing its contents.

Powder starts asking Ed random questions about you, the latter responding with exaggerated anecdotes. You barely listen, though. Instead opting to stare at Powder as she laughs at—probably—your expense.

You have no idea what possessed you to make that earlier bet with her. Never mind that you were being hypocritical about the whole professionalism schtick, you were way past that at this point. Still, you stare unabashedly at her and watch as excitement glints in her eyes at whatever Ed is telling her. The way the corners of her eyes crease as she furrows her eyebrows—which are perfect, by the way— and smiles. You swear the warm lighting of the bar makes her glow.

Your stomach does a backflip. It's probably just the alcohol.

Ed excuses himself to handle the other bar patrons, subtly telling you not to fuck up as he passes by. Powder eyes him, clearly hearing his remark, and smirks at you.

"You're zoning out there, chief."

"I not zoning out. I was just lost in your eyes."

She lightly punches your arm—damn she's strong—before leaning against the counter of the busy bar. You sit close to each other, citing the noisy atmosphere and the hindrance that would cause during your conversation, but you know better. You wanted to sit close because she was, pardon your French, too fucking attractive. That was your excuse hours ago when you first got to the bar. Now you're just thankful that she's not calling any attention to your proximity.

As for Powder, she looked like she wanted to keep a low profile. Her shoulders were relaxed, and the way she leaned into you could've been taken as a flirtatious advance. But every so often, when she probably thought you wouldn't notice, her eyes would flit across the room. The casual look in her eyes becoming alert, aware, in a split second, before morphing back relaxed once they settled on you.

If you had been just a tad bit drunker, you probably wouldn't have noticed. Not that you care. You worked at a port city, people of all kinds of backgrounds waddled in and out. She wouldn't be the first person with a troubling past sitting next to you in a bar. She probably wouldn't be the last.

"I'm guessing you don't get lost in all of your customers' eyes, too?"

Her words snap you out of your train of thought, and you let a lazy smile cover your face. You’re not a lightweight, that much you’re certain. Tipsy, however, you very much are. If the brazen flirting wasn’t making it obvious enough.

"Just yours."

"And you weren't out last night with some poor girl who also had engine troubles?" You put a hand over your chest in mock offense.

"You're breaking my heart here, blue." The feigned hurt in your voice does little to deter the eye roll that Powder gives you. You let out a laugh as you put your hands up as a sign of peace. "Hey, I swear I was trying my best to be professional earlier, but I'm off the clock now, so I can flirt as much as I want."

"Oh, we're flirting?" You furrow your brows at her.

"Was that not clear?"

"Nah, not really."

"Do you platonically get lost in people's eyes?"

"Maybe. How do I know you don't take girls here every night? I could ask Ed."

"Go ahead, he's an unbiased party. Besides," You shrug. "Even if I did, I'm a regular here so he wouldn't snitch on me."

"Don't put words in my mouth you muppet." the burly man working behind the bar walks back towards the two of you, refilling your drinks. He winks at Powder. "Don't worry love, I'd sell this one for a sack of potatoes—"

"Hey!"

"But." He says, a thick eyebrow raised at you. "The port chief here isn't a revolving door of lovers. In fact," He turns to you "I don't reckon' you've ever brought someone here. Or landed a date, actually—" Powder snorts into her drink, and you take it as a sign that it's time to usher the barkeep away.

"Okay, thank you Ed, for the refills. I think there's some people asking for you over there." Ed laughs as he lumbers over to the other side of the bar. You keep your eyes on him until you're sure that he's occupied, before turning back to Powder. "I do in fact, get dates. For the record."

"Oh, of course, I totally believe you."

"I mean it."

"Completely believe you."

"Okay, now you're just messing with me." Your ego is a bit bruised at Ed's interruption, and the shit eating grin on Powder's face isn't helping either. But she's smiling, and for some ungodly reason, you consider it as a win. You shake your head and take a longer sip from your drink. This girl is going to be the death of you.

"Okay, okay. Sorry, toots." She nudges you with her shoulder. "No more teasing."

You raise an eyebrow at her. "No more bruising my ego?" She shakes her head and crosses over her heart.

"Nope. Serious questions only, from this point forward."

"Oh? Like what?" You turn to her and prop your chin on your hand.

"Like…" She bites her lip and looks at a random spot on the wall of drinks across from you, momentarily in thought. At this point, you're not even trying to hide your staring. She doesn't call you out on it when she looks back at you, but a small smile plays at her face. “You’re drunk.”

“Just as drunk as you are.”

“I’m not drunk yet.”

“You’re literally slurring your words right now.”

“…I’m tipsy.”

You do your best to hold back a chuckle. “Hi tipsy—“

“Gods, please don’t.” She groans and hides her face in her hands. “I was just starting to find you attractive.”

“I thought we were done bruising my ego?”

“The dad jokes make you free real estate.”

“Okay, alright.” You laugh. Gently prying her hands away from her face. “Just ask me your question.“

She relents, but doesn’t let go of your hand as she sets hers down the counter. “Hmm…”

“Did you grow up here?”

You shake your head. “Nope. Came here looking for my great perhaps.”

An eyebrow raised; head tilted to the side. "Your great perhaps?"

"Yeah, like, trying to live a fulfilling life instead of just staying in one place forever."

There's a shift in her eyes, but you're a bit too drunk to figure out what it means. "I grew up in Bilgewater, and a lot of the pirate crews that came by were always talking about their grand adventure that got them treasure, or whatever. So I thought, what the hell? I can do that, too."

Powder doesn’t interrupt you when you tell her more about your past. How you worked at a bar serving the various pirate crews that would drop in and out, spending all the gold they found, then leaving again to find more. She does, however, show a particular interest when you tell her about the time a drunken captain almost made you walk the plank for bumping into him. You’re surprised by how easy it is to tell her about yourself, how natural it almost feels.

"I hate to disturb your weekly monologue about your great perhaps here, chief." You both turn your heads to where Ed is, grabbing empty glasses on the bar, and stacking them onto a nearby sink. "But it's just about closing time, and I need to clean up. So scram."

"Guess that's our cue." The chair next to you scrapes against the wooden floor as Powder pushes herself off of it.  Her stance is wobbly, and you're only barely able to hold onto her as she stumbles.

"Easy, Blue."

A scoff. "Pfft. I'm just as drunk as you are."

"Then we're both fucked."

A laugh, then a mock salute, then a quick turn away from your grasp. "Speak for yourself port chief, captain, boss—whatever."

You scramble out of your own chair and follow Powder out of the door—not before turning around and leaving money on the bar because you forgot to pay—the cold sea breeze slapping you in the face the second you're out in the moonlight. It's late enough that the streets are nearly empty; save for the few drunk people here and there headed home.

Your head feels featherlight as you turn and spot Powder a few paces ahead, arms crossed, head tilted to the side. The light from a street post casts a shadow over her face, but you're sure that she still has that cocky smirk on. She's not even saying anything, and you feel your chest warm from the sight of her.

Must be the alcohol.

"Getting lost in my eyes again?" She asks as you make your way towards her.

"Absolutely."

A roll of her eyes as she turns around and starts walking. "Kiss-ass."

You follow suit, falling in step with her, and bumping her shoulder with yours. "You like it."

The both of you walk in silence for the next while, a quiet arrangement that you were going to walk her home. You take a deep breath, taking in the cold breeze and the peaceful atmosphere of the usually bustling town. The quiet and the wind is grounding, and you feel yourself slowly start to sober up the more you walk. To be fair, it was the middle of the week, and most people would probably be working tomorrow, so traffic at this hour was expected to be less.

You stop walking when you realize the direction you're heading in. Powder does the same, looking over to you with a curious glance.

"Are we headed back to port?" 

She shrugs. "Yup."

"You didn't find a place to stay here in town?"

"I wanted to get some maintenance done while waiting for the gasket."

A thought pops up in your head, one that you probably shouldn't suggest, especially since you've only known Powder for a few hours. On the one hand, she could be a wanted murderer on the run, and you're on your way to becoming her next victim. On the other, you'd just be spending a night on your couch, and she'd have a place to stay. It certainly beat going back to the hang—

"Wait a second. The hangar's locked for the night. Were you planning on breaking in?"

She pretends to be hurt by your accusation, hand clutching her chest. "Breaking in is such a strong word to use, toots. I was gonna politely ask you to open it up for me."

You stuff your hands into your coat pockets, trying to offer a nonchalant shrug. "You could spend the night at my place."

Her eyes widen in surprise, but only for a split second, before that infuriating smirk pulls at her lips. "Oh. You want me to come back to your place?"

You laugh, not at all ashamed by her insinuation. "Not like that, Blue. I can't just let you back into the hangar, I could get fired for it. And it's a pain in the ass looking for a place to stay when you're half-drunk, also unsafe. I have a couch."

Her smirk fades, gaze softening a tad bit. She takes a moment to look around the empty street, then back to you. She crosses her arms before she speaks. "You sure you're okay with me crashing at your place?"

You shrug again. "Yeah, I mean, I'd rather not leave you wandering around the street at night, not that I'd leave you wandering alone. If you're dead set on looking for a place to stay, I'd totally go with you until you find one. But, also just in case you won't find one, which is pretty unlikely honestly—"

"Okay."

"Hm?"

The corners of her lips tug again—not the same as the one she had when she was teasing you earlier; it's a softer, more honest smile. "Okay. We'll go back to your place."

"Oh. Cool."

"Cool."

"…."

"So…Do you know remember where you live, or…"

"Oh! Yeah, right. Sorry."

You clear your throat, before gesturing down a street and turning towards it. Powder mercifully keeps quiet as the both of you make your way back to your apartment.

---

"Well, this is me." You fumble your keys a bit as you pull them out of your doorknob and place them back into your pocket. "Make yourself at home." There's a moment you want to slap yourself at your words. Suddenly having Powder in your space—your own doing, by the way—made you feel self-conscious. Not that you've never had people over, but something about it being her was making you all formal. You don't even need to look at Powder to know she's about to laugh.

Her snort from behind you is enough confirmation as you make your way inside. Deciding to spare yourself the sight—not matter how much you've seemed to enjoy seeing her smile—you opt to take off your coat and throw you keys onto the dresser next to the entrance. Powder's footsteps make their way across the room, exploring your space.

"You're doing well for yourself, chief." You turn around to look at her, as she's eyeing the view from behind the balcony doors.

"It's pretty nice. Nicer than where I used to live in Bilgewater, definitely. They paid me a decent amount for making the port run right."

"Was it that bad before you took over?"

You shrug, walking over to her while trying to remember the state of the port back when you started. "We were having trouble competing with all the airships popping up. One day I told them, why don't we just build our own airport? And they said, sure, but you're running it, and you're gonna pay for it if it doesn't work."

"Looks like it ended up working."

Just thinking about all the hoops you had to jump through just to get everything running smoothly makes you scoff. "Yeah, now. But around a year ago it was chaos. Do you know how hard it is to find an airship mechanic?"

She raises an eyebrow at you. "Can't be that hard, we got hundreds at Zaun. Even a kid could do it."

"That's cause that entire area is where most air ships come from. Especially when Hex Tech started taking off. No pun intended." Your hand reaches for the balcony door, pushing it open. "I had to learn all of that engineering stuff on site. That and managing an entire port."

Powder follows you out to the small balcony, leaning against the railing next to you. The breeze suddenly making you wish you hadn't taken off your coat.

"So…" She starts, lightly bumping her shoulder against yours. "This how you get most girls into your bed? Show her a nice view and talk about your fancy job?"

You bark out a laugh. "Depends."

That damn smirk. "On?"

"If they're having engine trouble."

It's her turn to laugh, and the lilt of her voice makes the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, makes your chest warm enough that the cold air suddenly doesn't matter. This definitely wasn't the alcohol.

"You know," She says, as her laughter dies down. "I've given you three chances to kiss me, and you haven't taken a single one."

"Maybe I'm just polite."

"Or maybe you're just dense. Which is tragic, because you've been flirting with me all night."

A pause. "Hold on, three?"

"Yup."

"When?"

"I'm not gonna tell you when I was waiting for you to kiss me."

You wrack your brain, trying to remember when Powder had given pause long enough for you to kiss her. "I count like, two."

She rolls her eyes at your response. "Oh wow, then you're actually dense."

Your mouth opens to protest, but you close it again just as fast, still stuck on figuring out the third moment when you could kiss her.

She seems to sense your struggle, as she laughs and pushes herself away from the railing. "Don't hurt yourself trying to think, toots." She quips, pulling you back inside. "Come on, it's getting cold."

Whatever's left of your ego is beaten down by Powder's remark, as you let yourself get pulled back into the warmth of your apartment.

"I really think it was just two times."

"Guess you'll never know."

You groan, running a hand down your face. "I'm gonna be thinking about this until I figure it out."

"Word of advice, think less."

"Yeah, but then what if you don't want me to kiss you, and then I try to kiss you?"

She shrugs, the couch creaking as she flops down onto it. "If I didn’t want you to kiss me, I'd shoot you."

"Fair enough."

A sigh escapes your mouth as you settle next to her. Your hands brush, but neither of you move away.

"You're a hard one to figure out, Blue."

"That's kind of the point, though, right?"

You shift in your seat, turning to face her. Your arm drapes over the back of the couch, behind her shoulders. "What do you mean?"

She looks around the room for a moment before her gaze settles back onto you, turning in her own seat so she's facing you. "You travelled for a bit before ending up here, right? You can't just…" She gestures with her hand, waving it at empty space. "Pour your soul out to strangers, trust them? Best case scenario is you'll never see them again. Worst case, they've got dirt on you or try to kill you."

The more you thought about it, the more obvious it became. Powder was right. Even you were paranoid about the people who came and went while you were in Bilgewater, more so when you started travelling alone.

"Do you…trust me?"

She scoffs, as if you just asked a ridiculous question. "Of course I do, I mean, I followed you here. Didn't I?" There's a bite to her words, but her expression quickly softens. "I…If we're being honest here, I think I'm trusting you a bit too much."

She leans her head against the cushions of the couch, taking a breath. You know she has more to say, so you keep silent and wait for her to continue.

"I don't think I would have done any of this, if it was someone else." She says quietly.

"I don't think I would've done this either, if it wasn't you." You confess.

She scoffs, but there's no edge to it. "Liar."

An amused smile makes its way onto your face. "I mean it." As if to drive your point home, your free hand brushes against hers, on purpose this time; you wait in case she pulls away. Emboldened when she doesn't, you gently grab her hand and interlace your fingers.

Her eyes flit to your joined hands, then back to your face, a small smile curls at her lips, stripped of all the bravado she carried with her earlier. She pulls herself closer to you and nestles herself at the crook of your neck, and you let your other arm fall and wrap around her, letting the silence fall over the both of you.

It's crazy to think that just this morning, you were cussing her out for giving you more work to do in the day, but now, she had you wrapped around her finger—not that you'd ever let her know that.

Maybe it's the alcohol, or the warm body next to yours, or the distant sound of the waves from outside. But slowly, surely, you start to feel eyelids grow heavier by the second. You wonder briefly if you should get up and go get a pillow or blanket for the both of you, but Powder’s even breaths stop the train of thought entirely.

You do your best to not wake your companion up as you reach behind her for your throw blanket, gently draping it over the both of you. Waking up tomorrow is going to be a pain, and you can already feel the your back and neck complaining.

Powder shifts beside you, curling closer into you, and suddenly the pain tomorrow is worth it.

The last thing that crosses your mind is the smell of the sea breeze and axel grease in her hair, as your eyes slowly close and sleep pulls you under.

---

You wake up from an offending ray of light hitting your face. Then, an ache in your neck, followed by your back cracking as you try to stretch.

The throw blanket draped over you does nothing to obscure the sunlight creeping into the room, as you groan and try to roll to your side to avoid it…straight off the couch.

You land on the hardwood floor with a thud, a few seconds of silence passing before your groans fills in the space of your apartment. It's a hard task getting up, with all the pain in your neck and back, plus being tangled up in your blanket.  And the damn sun—wait a second.

The blanket is thrown to the side as you shoot up, and blearily blink the sleep out of your eyes. Yes, there was sunlight streaming through the window. Which meant that it was way past your actual wake up time, and you were late for work.

You scramble around your apartment, rushing out of the bathroom with your toothbrush in your mouth—which in hindsight isn't safe at all—while trying to change into a fresh set of clothing. All the while, a slew of curse words freely making their way out of your mouth. How did I end up on the couch last night?

And then it hits you.

Powder.

The bar.

Falling asleep together on the couch.

You stop midway through putting a sweater on as you scan the room. No shoes, no coat, nothing that would have suggested she was here the previous night. Even more confused now, you walk around to check if she was maybe in your bedroom. All the while trying to ignore the disappointed feeling in your chest starting to bloom. Not that you were expecting her to stay—you absolutely were—and have breakfast, or whatever.

With a defeated sigh, you finish up getting ready and head towards the front door, unhooking your coat and grabbing your keys.

And then you spot it.

A note, set beside the bowl where you keep your keys.

You ignore the hope that replaces the disappointment in your chest as you grab the piece of paper.

Wanted to get that engine running by today. Didn't wanna wake you. See you later at the hangar, yeah? Try not to think about this too much :P —P

So she didn't abandon you in the night and decide to never speak to you again. Great. You still have a chance.

Your brows furrow from the train of thought. A chance to what, exactly?

Deciding to answer that question at a later time, you stuff the note in your pocket and bolt out the door. Hopefully nothing went up in flames while you were out.

---

It was a mistake to hope, it truly was.

"I don't know how it happened boss, one second it was running fine, the next, whoosh! It just combusted!"

You shut your eyes and rub your temples with your hands. Surely you didn't jinx yourself when you left your house today. Maybe once you open your eyes, the singed winch would magically be working again.

You're momentarily tempted to scream into your hands, but decide against it for the sake for professionalism and setting a good example as a boss.

"Nope, still singed." Maybe opening your eyes wasn’t the right call. Out of sight, out of mind.

You sigh, defeated. This would have to be completely replaced, and who knows how long that would take.

"If it wasn't for that blue haired lass, the damage would've been worse, I say."

Your head snaps up at the mention of Powder. "The one with the airship we tugged yesterday?"

"That's the one."

Her ship was still at the far end of the hangar—at the docking area. Sparing a cursory glance in that direction, amid all the banging and scraping sounds that echo off in the hangar, you wonder if she had finished up her engine.

"See where she went afterwards, Buck?" You turn back to the older man, who offers you a half-hearted shrug.

"I dunno, just told me to check on anything else that was plugged into the same place as the winch. Turned around, and poof, she was gone." He says as he scratches his chin in thought. "Fast one, she is."

Half of your brain wants to seek her out, but the other—more logical—part knows that you need to file paperwork for the broken winch and get in wheeled out of an active work area. You still had a job to do, after all.

You resign and click your tongue, asking Buck to help you get the winch off to storage while you return to your office and fill out the dreaded paperwork. After making sure that there weren't any other pieces of equipment that got damaged. If there was anything else damaged, then that would be its own can of unfortunate wor—

"Lass wouldn't stop asking about 'ya, by the way." Buck says, wiggling his eyebrows at you as you start loading the winch onto a cart. "Sounded like she had an interest in 'ya."

"Yeah? What'd you tell her?" Hopefully, looking away would be enough to hide the smile slowly forming on your face, though it's doubtful, as you hear Buck laugh from behind you as the cart squeaks along.

"Nothing but glowing reviews boss. The others…can't speak for 'em."

You roll your eyes. "Great, now I have to find her after all my paperwork and tell her not to believe any of you."

"Paperwork?" He says as he stops abruptly, the weight of the winch immediately stopping your pulling as well. "Don' tell me you're gonna go back to work when there's a pretty girl looking for 'ya."

"We're at work, Buck." You deadpan.

"Eh who gives a rat's arse about work right now." He grins, shaking the cart out of your grip. "Go get 'ya girl and do the paperwork after."

"I have a lot of things—" "Heard she was done with her engine and getting ready to leave."

The words die in your throat, and Buck's grin widens at your expression—you probably look like a blubbering fish—as he successfully pulls the cart out of your grip.

"Be a shame if 'ya miss her."

The small slip of paper shoved into your pocket suddenly feels heavy. She wrote that she'd see you, so she wouldn't leave, would she?

Fuck paperwork.

"You know what, I'll pull in overtime."

You can hear Bucks laughter as you walk resolutely to where the airships are parked. More of a light jog really, but you weren't gonna tell Powder that. Besides, you eventually slow down once you catch sight of her airship, the engine still popped open at the back. Seeing as she isn't outside working on it, you hazard a knock on the airship’s door.

"It's open!" A muffled voice replies from inside.

You take a second to collect yourself, before grabbing the handle and pulling the door open.

"Hey." You manage, poking your head through the door way. Powder is busy tinkering with something on her desk, and you briefly smell burnt iron wafting through the air. "You know inhaling this stuff is bad for you, right?"

Powder turns her chair around, pulling a pair of goggles over her head. "So don't breathe it in, duh."

This earns a snort from you, inadvertently inhaling the offending fumes. "Of course, silly me." You say as you cough and try to fan out the smell with your hand.

"Can't believe your great perhaps is gonna end with you getting killed by air." Powder does little to hide the amusement in her voice. "Couldn't get killed by pirates in Bilgewater, but Gods forbid you inhale some smoke."

"Har, har." Initially you wanted to be pissed at her for not waking you up. But the easiness of how she carries herself, standing up and walking around the ship, unbothered, and how she speaks to you is already enough to let your guard down.

"So are you a vampire, and I have to invite you in, or…"

You roll your eyes at her, but smile on your face betrays your mood as you close the door behind you. Leaning against the side wall, you pull out the note she left you earlier that morning. "I was late today, you know."

"Oh, I heard. Something about the Port Master slacking off."

Your smile drops. "Wait, really?"

"What? No." She quickly follows, slightly alarmed by the shift in your mood. "I'm joking, clearly. Gods, you are a stickler for that professional bull." 

A relieved breath escapes your lips. "Oh okay, good. Also, I'm not a stickler for it…I'm just trying to set a good example."

"No flirting with the customers, but once you're off the clock you're good?"

"Pretty much."

"All that flirting only to miss three chances to kiss someone?" She says as she holds up three fingers. "Wasted effort if you ask me."

"Hey, I only counted two!"

"And yet, there were actually three. You're gonna have to live with that, chief."

You're about to insist your point again, but you're brought back to why you suddenly rushed over here. You look over to your pocket—the note once again tucked inside—then back to Powder, whose eyes are also trained on the aforementioned piece of paper.

A few seconds pass, before you're able to find your words.

"So… Will I get a chance to figure it out?" Her eyes snap to you, narrowing slightly. "The third kiss? Or are you planning on leaving soon?"

You think you see her the corner of her lips curl just a little, before her expression turns nonchalant as she shrugs. "Depends."

"On what?"

A crashing noise from outside pulls the both of you back to reality, as you hear voices grumbling about cleaning up a mess. Powder lifter herself into a desk, wood creaking under her weight. There's an indiscernible—Disappointment, maybe?— look on her face, before she forces a smile and nods towards the door.

"Go do your fancy job."

You push yourself off the wall and take a step towards the door. You could. You should, right at this instant. But you've spent the better half of your great perhaps doing a whole lot of unremarkable known, instead. And as much as you liked living in comfort and knowing what comes next, you didn’t much like the thought of walking out this ship without finishing this talk with Powder.

"Word of advice? Think less."

You drop your hand that was about to reach for the door handle, turning around to face Powder. The surprise is evident in her features, but you don't give her time to whip out whatever snarky remark she has. You close the distance in two steps, then your lips crash into hers.

It doesn't take long for her to grab onto you and pull you closer. Not long for her to smile into the kiss, or for her hands to make their way into your hair; yours onto her waist. You feel heady, almost. Forgetting everything that's happening around you and just enjoying the moment.

Until there's another crash outside, loud enough that you pull apart in surprise.

You sigh, exasperated. Not daring to open your eyes, you lean your forehead against hers. "Fuck."

She chuckles softly against your lips, before placing a chaste kiss and gently pushing you away. "Go, before something blows up."

And you relent—though reluctantly—backing away towards the door, not taking your eyes off of her. Just the sight of her, flushed and smiling, is nearly enough to make you ignore your job. But you have time, you know you have time. Something about the glint in her eyes as she smiles at you, how relaxed she looks sitting back on the desk.

She'll be here when you come back, waiting for you to figure out what that damn third chance was.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia!

I've been reading a bunch of your works over the last couple of months and I hope it's okay if I throw some thoughts/questions at you!

This feels really forward, but have you ever written anything with voyerism as a kink? And if not, do you have any interest in it? TIP is the most recent thing of yours that I've finished and that scene where Augus watched Mosk & Eran... hot. Twas very hot. I think about it a lot lol.

As for the Underline universe, how far into Blue and Gold are we? Like percentage/fraction-wise? Or is it still up in the air? I know we have an end in sight for Black now and it makes me wonder.

I'm so nervous about the next couple of chapters of Black. Gosh I love the fluff rn, but I am so scared for the whole Henton/Crielle mess to come back. I genuinely forgot that Henton was gonna be relevant and I looked at the tags recently and audibly went 'oh shit.' This is not a question, I just want you to know that I am Scared.

I have so many questions about Silver but I am trying to restrain myself bc I know you must keep your secrets. Just please know I think about them. Could I ask what Augus and Corbyn's ages are? I'm fairly certain they're not gonna be 80 but I work as a CNA and I've started thinking about their dynamic as a cute old couple at a facility and it makes me giggle a little.

If you're still doing the OC asks thing, would you do #10 for Arden? I know you've gotten multiple asks about him in Underline (which makes sense why you wouldn't want to put him there), but I'm curious if there's any other scenarios you'd want to put him in?

I'm the anon that asked for more about Caleb and I just. Am fighting demons not to literally put 1-25 for him (I love mean tops)(And he is still in his mean to faber stage)(will he ever not be? that's not a actual question) I just...his and fabers dynamic is my kind of hurt lol (i wonder how he'd feel about having a tiny fanclub?)(i can support his buisness pursuits or something)

Now that I look all of this over I am sorry but also not sorry this is probably overwhelming. Feel free to skip over whatever or answer some and come back to it. Just know I am thinking about your characters like... too many hours in the day. I need to get back to laundry lol

Whoa holy fucking questions batman!

I shall do my best anon I am intrigued

This feels really forward, but have you ever written anything with voyerism as a kink? And if not, do you have any interest in it? TIP is the most recent thing of yours that I've finished and that scene where Augus watched Mosk & Eran... hot. Twas very hot. I think about it a lot lol.

Voyeurism, yes! Particularly in one of the later chapters of The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle where Felix and Murtagh watch a kink scene live, and Murtagh edges Felix during it, while quietly talking to him, until Felix is basically begging to come.

Otherwise I'm not writing it often mostly because many of the bottoms I write are either a) too insecure to perform for others or b) it's just not a direction the story is going in.

I don't really write exhibitionism at all, but there are elements of voyeurism around, Falling Falling Stars had some non-sexual and hints of voyeurism overall re: Efnisien, Kadek, and Arden.

I'm fairly certain the Strange Sights universe has elements of both (exhibitionism from Augus, voyeurism from Ash and Augus towards each other). Especially the follow-up sequel, where Ash asks Augus to masturbate for him.

Eversion probably has the most in terms of people watching Connor. In fact the very first time we ever see him in a sex scene, it's at a BDSM club where literally someone is just there to watch him get off, and he meets his dom while both of them watch someone else endure a flogging, and Connor is - similarly to Felix - played with while watching the scene. There's also the threesome between Luuk, Hank and Connor later, where it's clear that Hank and Luuk are both enjoying watching each other as well as Connor. So I would say Eversion probably has the most!

It's not something I write often, but it's around! (two of these fics are over at my thespectaclesofthor AO3 account!)

As for the Underline universe, how far into Blue and Gold are we? Like percentage/fraction-wise? Or is it still up in the air? I know we have an end in sight for Black now and it makes me wonder.

No idea re: Blue and Gold, though I know neither of them will be anywhere near as long as Black. To the point where I'm hoping to wrap up Blue and Gold around the chapter 35-45 mark. But hope is a fickle thing, and it could be earlier, could be later. They were never designed to be stories that had huge development arcs or anything, they're pretty much done once the characters have bonded successfully / shared a successful heat. Both stories end before Underline the Black starts in terms of in-world timeline!

I'm so nervous about the next couple of chapters of Black. Gosh I love the fluff rn, but I am so scared for the whole Henton/Crielle mess to come back. I genuinely forgot that Henton was gonna be relevant and I looked at the tags recently and audibly went 'oh shit.' This is not a question, I just want you to know that I am Scared.

You should be : )

I mean, it'll be fine!

Well, both of those things can be true, lol.

I have so many questions about Silver but I am trying to restrain myself bc I know you must keep your secrets. Just please know I think about them. Could I ask what Augus and Corbyn's ages are?

They're in their fifties! I haven't gotten exact ages on them yet, but I know that if Alois complains about being old around Corbyn, Corbyn is just going to smile tiredly at him.

If you're still doing the OC asks thing, would you do #10 for Arden?

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Honestly, I feel like his story is "closed." I don't really know how to explain this, but with some of the characters I write, I hit a point where I just don't need to write them again. Eran is the same.

I think it's telling (to me) that in all the stories I'm writing after Falling Falling Stars, each one of them is literally revolving around *another* character that isn't Arden (whether it's Gwyn, or Kadek, or Dr Gary). That doesn't mean Arden isn't around, I just have no drive to tell a version of his story again.

Some characters stay open mentally, and others sort of mentally go into the 'I'm done' space. Gwyn and Augus took forever to kind of walk into the 'I'm done' space (and they're still not fully there)! - Arden was there immediately after Falling Falling Stars was over.

Also they kind of choose that space? I stay open generally because I like writing AUs a lot, so it's like a weird sense of like a character walking away from me, vs. me being like 'I'm tired of you.' Arden walked away! He was happy, lol. So I literally have zero other story ideas for Arden and I think he'd be mad at me for trying to think up any.

I'm the anon that asked for more about Caleb and I just. Am fighting demons not to literally put 1-25 for him (I love mean tops)(And he is still in his mean to faber stage)(will he ever not be? that's not a actual question) I just...his and fabers dynamic is my kind of hurt lol (i wonder how he'd feel about having a tiny fanclub?)(i can support his buisness pursuits or something)

Anon I promise you that you're not the only one who cares about Caleb!! Also I love this douche guy, can't wait to show more of him!

If you limit yourself to like 3 questions from the meme each time, you can send more asks! I still have a few to get to in general. :D

[bewareofchris]

I've been on the writer's tag again.

Listen guys.

Nobody owes your fanfic anything. I know that you want validation and adoration and those are both completely normal things to want. But this obsessive demand for comments over kudos and reblogs over likes is A Problem.

I won't bore you with tales of yore where we literally punted our fiction into the world with no idea of how it was being perceived by others because the only way to know if anyone even glanced at it was by the incredibly inaccurate page counter on our shitty geocities page.

(But that was a thing and it's semi-relevant to my point.)

A lot of you are growing up in a era of social media and viral marketing. You are babies of the influencer age, raised on the myth that if you can just get enough attention you'll get famous for something. I don't mean 10 million followers on insta famous but famous in your specific sphere.

That will not happen for you.

Not because people aren't reblogging your shit or writing out loving comments but because it's a myth. The idea that if you shame, beg and cajole enough people into interacting with your creation you'll access some serotonin high and ascend to a greater state of being is also a myth.

Here's the truth:

Most writers do not know how the majority of their audience feels about their fics. Those very few novels that you see on booktok, X (former twitter) or wherever else you get your writing news represent an infinitesimal portion of stories written and books published.

Most writers do have writing buddies or trusted members of an inner circle that they share their writing with.

For most fandoms, fanfics are so plentiful it's like going into a mall sized grocery store that sells only apples and then demanding the customer review every apple they touch.

For those few fanfics that you see that have an outrageous number of comments there are three possible explanations: 1. that person is what we used to call a "Big Name Ficcer" and they have amassed a following through consistent production of whatever that fandom is into, 2. that is a fic so long you have to sign a waiver to start reading it and despite the fact it was started seven years ago its still getting updated, or 3. that person is writing a viral fic in a fandom that is presently on fire.

Your self worth and self esteem cannot be tied to writing and posting fanfiction. It might be a fun outlet or you might be looking for your viral moment, but either way the moment you start weighing your worth as an author or creator based on what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of you is the moment you give up on yourself.

Social media has brainwashed you into thinking that you must be recognized and rewarded for the things that you put onto the internet. Or maybe it hasn't brainwashed you, maybe you just want to get a comment because you worked super hard on something and you feel like if you can't even get one decent response then its all been wasted. (I.e. you've been brainwashed into the feeling that you need the validation of strangers for happiness purposes.)

So what are you going to do about this?

Get off the internet. I don't mean permanently. I don't even mean literally. I mean take yourself out of the spaces that reinforce the idea that you need validation from strangers to be happy. Stop going on the social media sites for a few days (or a few weeks). If you've got a friend in fandom that you share fics, headcanons, ideas or anything with start chatting with them about something you want to write. Invest in them, in what they're doing and their opinions and how they react to your creations.

Put your shit on the internet like you literally don't give a fuck about anyone's opinion. Explain nothing about your writing choices. Put warnings, no more than 5 tags and drop that shit into the world like a newborn giraffe. Then ignore it.

Teach yourself to seek validation from your accomplishments: write a slightly longer fic, write a fic in a different genre, write a fic in a different rating, write a fic in a different fandom.

Find an actual friend that you actually interact with whose opinion you know matters because you agree on the important stuff.

Stop begging strangers for compliments like a cartoon hobo shaking a cup for coins. You're better than that.

[whoevenheckinknows]

Learn to Love You (DickJay Week 2025 Day 4)

Fandom: Batman All Media Types Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Dick Grayson x Jason Todd, one sided jason todd x roy harper Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Roy Harper, Bruce Wayne (mentioned),

Tags: DickJay week 2025, Dickjay week day 4, Fake/Accidental Marriage, Bill the Henchman (The Panda Redd), he's only mentioned but he's here in my heart, possessive dick grayson, not beta read we die like jason todd, Do not post to other sites, Cross-Posted on my other socials, POV Third Person

Summary: Jason doesn't want to go the easy way and ask Bruce to help get resurrected, so he decides instead to get a fake marriage to be legally revived. He ends up with Dick as his spouse. He's sure he'll end up regretting this decision.

AN: My coworker and old high school teacher saw me writing this and assumed I was writing like a book, and said "I'll say I knew you when". Ma'am, I don't think you want to be associated with my gay fanfiction online.

Ive also come to the realization that all of my page breaks broke on the tumblr uploads of the previous days so i gotta go back and fix them Anyway hope y'all enjoy.

~~~

Look, Jason knows he's being stubborn, OK? He knows he's making things way more complicated than they have to be. But, goddammit he refuses to ask Bruce for help.

Although he's starting to think letting Dick convince him to let him help isn't much better.

See, it started like this. When Jason was 15 he died. Yeah sure, maybe that's going a bit too far back, but its relevant, promise. And so, Jason dies, gets physically revived, becomes the Red Hood, reintegrates back into his family, etc etc. But what doesn't happen, is Jason is never legally revived.

And yeah, it could be as easy as going to Bruce and asking him to pull some strings. But goddammit he doesn't want to be "Jason Todd-Wayne: The Lost Son Returned After Assumed Dead". There's nothing assumed about it, after all. He died. He doesn't need the media constantly making light of his death, consciously or not.

He just wants to be Jason Todd.

Of course, his idea is this. If he gets married in the country, he becomes a legal citizen and can basically create a new identity that way. Unfortunately, Jason is not, nor has ever been, in a relationship, and so he can't just pop the question to a preexisting significant other. And he really doesn't want to speed run a relationship. So the only other option is to find someone to get fake married to.

He's sitting in a safehouse when it happens. He's on the floor in front of the coffee table, and the marriage paperwork is spread out in front of him. He's trying to determine the best candidate for his plan. Roy is an option, really he knows any of the Outlaws would do it with no hesitation. There's always a few of the Red Hood goons who know his identity and would gladly take advantage of the tax benefits. Maybe Bill? Even with the Goonion insurance, he can always use the extra help after everything the Bats have put him through…

"What'cha up to, Jay?"

Jason doesn't jump at the sudden voice. Of course not. He was raised by Batman after all. But he'd be lying if he says he isn't a bit startled at the interruption. He looks up from the paperwork to see Dick, still in his Nightwing outfit, standing on the opposite side of the coffee table. He picks up one of the papers before Jason can stop him, and scans through it. Jason watches as the smile that was on his face slowly fades.

"Jason!" He screeches when he's done. "You're getting married‽ To who‽ Is it Roy‽ Dammit, I told him to stay away from you! When did you start dating Roy‽ Why didn't you tell me‽"

"Shut the fuck up Dickhead."

Dick ends his barrage of questions, but his pouting face makes Jason feel as if he kicked a puppy.

"I'm not dating Roy. Or anyone."

"Then why the marriage papers?" Dick tilts his head at the question, and the puppy allegations continue.

"I'm trying to figure out who to marry as a way to legally revive myself."

Silence.

"Jay," Dick starts, and seeing the look in his eye Jason knows exactly what he's going to say. "You know Bruce is just waiting for you to ask him to revive your identity, right?"

"I'm not fucking going to Bruce for this." Jason growls. "You know he's gonna make it a big thing. 'Oh woe is me, my lost son has returned. Let me celebrate with this huge gala that doesn't actually have anything to do with him' Thanks, but no thanks."

"So what, you're just going to marry some random person so that you can have a legal identity." Jason can hear anger in his voice, but he's not really sure where it's coming from. Like, sure, it's not the best idea, but it's not like it's the worst he could've had. And besides…

"I mean, I'm not asking just any random person. That's what I'm doing now, trying to figure out who is most likely to agree. Hey, you think Bill would say yes if I asked him?"

"You are not asking Bill the freakin Henchman to marry you."

"Well then who would you suggest?"

Dick is silent for a moment, a thoughtful look in his eyes. Jason does not expect the next words out of his mouth. "What about me?"

Jason stares at him, his mouth and eyes wide. "What the fuck, Dickhead?"

"Think about it!" He raises his hands placatingly. "If anyone finds out about the marriage, there's no way they'll know who you actually are! Dick Grayson-Wayne and Jason Todd-Wayne were brothers, they wouldn't get married. This way, your new identity can stay as far away from your old one as you like."

Jason takes a moment to reflect on what he said. He's not…wrong. And Jason hates the fact just a little.

While Jason is thinking, Dick's eyes light up and he starts searching his pockets. "Hold on, I think I have something that might sweeten the deal."

He finds what he's looking for, facing the other way to keep it out of Jason's sight. Jason can hear a soft pop of air and some crinkling before Dick turns back around and makes his way around the coffee table to Jason's side. He gets down on one knee and takes one of Jason's hands into one of his own. The other is hidden behind his back.

"Jason, would you make me the happiest brother in the world," Jason doesn't have time to question his choice of words before Dick is pulling a Ring-Pop from behind his back. "And let me be your fake spouse?"

Jason stares at him. His eyes narrow. "I want to say no, just because of the fucking pun. And what, did you just have that on you?"

Dick shrugged. "Sometimes I need some sugar during patrol. And sometimes," he wiggles his eyebrows obnoxiously, "I just need something to suck on."

Jason wacks him on the head and he laughs.

"So? What's your answer?"

Jason thinks on it. What's the worst that can happen? "Fine, but you better get me a proper ring, Dickhead, or there's divorce papers in your future."

Dick beams as he slides the Ring-Pop onto the hand he's still holding. "You won't regret it, Jay! Promise!"

He immediately follows the promise with a sly smirk, before staring Jason in the eyes and taking a slow lick of the candy on his finger.

Won't regret it his ass. He's already beginning to.

~~~

Roy bursts out laughing when Jason tells him about it a few days later.

"I knew it would happen eventually, but damn this is not how I thought he'd go about it."

"What the fuck are you talking about Roy?"

"Dude, he's been crazy about you for years now. Since not long after you came back all murder-y and stuff. How have you not noticed."

Jason scoffs. "There's no way Dickie likes me like that."

"Oh yeah?" Roy raises an eyebrow. "Then explain to me why he came up to me and basically threatened me if I even thought about getting with you."

Jason thinks back on something Dick said. Dammit, I told him to stay away from you!

Still, he refuses to believe it. "You're lying."

"Dude, you literally said yourself that he licked the Ring-Pop after making an innuendo about it. Do you not see how obviously he was flirting with you?" Jason groans and puts his head in his hands.

Dammit. So what does this mean? Did Dick seriously volunteer to fake marry him so he could, what, try and woo him into a real marriage? Jason doesn't want to believe it.

Would it really be so bad if that were the case? A part of Jason's brain whispers to him. And sure, Dick is fucking hot, there's no denying that. And Jason may or may not have had a crush on him back when Jason was still Robin. Could you really blame him though? One can only be taken down by those thighs so many times before it fundamentally changes them as a person.

But there is too much between them now for it to be a real possibility. There's no chance that Dick has honest to God romantic feelings for someone like Jason.

Right? ~~~

Jason hates when Roy is right sometimes. Everywhere he looks, the signs of Dick's attraction are staring him straight in the face. Little things like 'accidental' touches, or volunteering to patrol together, or small comments that could mean nothing, if you don't look too deeply into them. But Jason is looking now. And he doesn't know how he feels about what he finds.

They don't talk about their upcoming 'marriage' for a while. Jason finishes filling out the paperwork, and has Roy agree to be a witness, but he hasn't talked to Dick about it since that first night. He doesn't know how to bring it up, or when. It's not something he can really bring up when the other Bats are around.

Luckily, he doesn't end up being the one to break the silence. Dick comes to him first, towards the end of a patrol.

"Hey, Little Wing! You mind coming back to my place after this to help me with something?"

"Can't this wait Dickhead?"

Dick pouts at him, and it's with that pout that he realizes this isn't about a case or something. Or at least not a work one. No, it's about their case. He sighs.

"Fine, but you better have actual food or I'm not bothering."

Dick's smile brightens like the sun, and Jason holds back a blush at having it aimed at him. Shit. All this thinking about Dick liking him is getting to his head.

The rest of patrol goes pretty quick after that, and Jason soon finds himself at the fire escape of Dick's apartment. Dick left a little earlier than him, saying he needed to do something before Jason gets there. Jason doesn't know what exactly he would have to do, especially since this visit was his idea, but he doesn't stop him.

He makes his way up the fire escape and climbs in the window. He takes in the apartment in front of him and has to hide his shock. Dick must have really cleaned at some point recently, because he doesn't think he's ever seen a Dick Grayson owned space so neat before.

Said man is pulling something out of the oven just as Jason makes his way into the kitchen, no longer in his Nightwing outfit.

"Jay! Just in time. I have food right here, just like I promised."

Jason analyzes the opaque dish Dick places on the counter. There is no way Dick made something that looks and smells this edible by himself. That must mean…

"You got this from Alfred didn't you."

Dick grins sheepishly. "At least its not takeout. It's 'real food', as you requested."

Jason doesn't point out the fact that Dick had this prepared by Alfred ahead of time, meaning he never planned on takeout in the first place.

Instead he leans on the counter and watches Dick plate what Jason can now see is lasagna. "What's going on, Dickhead?"

"What? Can't I make something nice for my little brother without an ulterior motive?"

Jason contemplates how he's gonna respond before deciding fuck it. "Not when you're apparently crushing on said little brother."

Dick freezes for only a moment before grabbing the plates and walking to the table. He sighs as he places them down. "Can we just eat first, before we get into any of this?"

Jason watches Dick slump into his seat. He decides to follow along, and sits at the spot set for himself across from Dick.

"OK." Dick gives him a small smile at his reply and damn. Jason would do just about anything to wipe that defeated look off of his face. To bring back that beaming smile he seems to always have when he's around Jason.

The two eat in a tense silence that Jason doesn't know how to break. Slowly, their plates empty, and soon they run out of their one excuse for not talking.

"Do you want dessert?" Dick stands up. "Alfred baked a cake to go with dinner, if you want a slic-"

"Dick, sit down." Dick does just that.

Jason takes a moment to gather his thoughts, but Dick beats him to the punch.

"Look, Jason-" Jason holds a hand up.

"I don't want excuses. I just want to know what you're hoping to achieve here? Why did you volunteer to be my fake spouse, knowing you have a possibly unrequited crush on me? Why tie yourself down like that?"

Dick sighs. "I'm a selfish man, Jay. I knew you would never like me in return. So when I saw an excuse to claim you as mine, no matter how fake it is in the end, I couldn't help myself. It helps me feel a little less guilty knowing that doing it actually helps you."

"From what I heard from Roy, you've been laying claim to me for longer than that."

Dick blushes at the reminder. "He was staring at your thighs, and I may have gotten a little possessive."

Jason quirks an eyebrow. "A little? He told me he had nightmares about you for weeks."

Dick's face grows even redder. "I should probably find a way to apologize, huh?"

"Probably."

"Listen, Jay." Dick's face turns serious. "I get it if you want to find someone else to do this with. Someone without any other motives. I'll even be a witness if you need it."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. I'm not finding anyone else." Dick looks at him in shock and now it's his turn to blush a little. "'Sides, paperwork's all filled out already… and well… I ain't doing that shit all over again."

Dick can probably see through his flimsy excuse, but he doesn't comment. Instead, he looks at him with a hopeful smile. "Are you sure? I'll even let you marry Roy if that's what you want."

"First of all, you wouldn't be 'letting' me do anything, Dickface. I do what I want. Second, I'm sure."

Dick's beaming smile is back, and Jason isn't sure how he overlooked Dick's affection, not when he looks at him like he's the whole world. No, the whole universe. Jason stares in awe as Dick stands up and searches through his pockets.

"If you're absolutely sure, then that means I can get on with this." Dick pulls out a small box triumphantly, and suddenly Jason realizes what exactly this dinner is for. "You said you wanted a real ring, and I couldn't deny you that. I don't think I could deny you anything, Jason."

Dick gets down on one knee. "I had a speech prepared, mostly jokes and whatnot, but I don't think it fits anymore. So here I am, Winging it." He winks at that.

Jason groans. "I take it back. Anything would be better than your awful puns."

Dick grabs Jason's hand to prevent him from leaving. They both know he could easily break out of it, but he stays anyway. "Too late now, Jay. You're stuck with me!"

"Not yet." Jason points out. "Haven't technically said yes."

"Yet you're the one who said it's 'too much work to redo the papers', so here we are." Jason rolls his eyes, but lets him continue. Dick takes a deep breath."I don't really know what to say here, Jay. I'm a possessive man. When you took Robin, I was angry at you. When you were dead, I was angry at the world for taking you. When you returned, I was angry at all those who wronged you. I fought to keep you as close to me as possible. I'm not really sure when that possessiveness grew into being in love with you, but here we are. And yes. This is more than just a little crush, Jay. I love you. Even if you'll never feel the same, even if this marriage is for convenience only, I will continue to love you."

Jason stares at him in shock, his face turning bright red. Knowing Dick felt something for him and hearing him say it out loud are two different things. And just how deeply this apparently goes, Jason almost can't believe it. But no, looking at Dick's earnest face, he knows this is real. This is happening. Except…

"You're wrong."

Dick's face falls at the words. "Wha… what do you mean? I know how I feel, even if you don't-"

"That's what you're wrong about. That I don't feel the same. Or at least, that I can never feel that way. Sure, I may not be in love with you right now, but that can easily change. I know you, Dick. I can see myself falling in love with you, given the chance. It helps that you're hot as hell." Jason gives a smirk at that, giving Dick an exaggerated once over. "But seriously. As long as we talk through some of the shit we've done in the past, we could make this work."

Dick's mouth opens and closes, wordless. Jason rolls his eyes. "What I'm saying, Dickhead, is yes. I'll marry you. And all that comes with a real marriage."

It takes a minute for the words to sink in, but when they do Dick jumps to his feet. He tackles Jason in a hug, knocking him out of the chair he's still sitting in. Jason lets out a grunt of pain, and Dick just clings on tighter, pushing his face into the Jason's hair. He feels something wet drip onto his neck, and he realizes with a start that Dick is crying.

Jason hugs him back.

"I love you so much, Jay. You have no idea. I'll make it worth it for you, I promise." He cries, slightly muffled by the hair in his mouth.

Jason rubs soothing circles into his back, letting him cry as he mumbles words of affection into Dick's neck. Eventually, they move to the sofa, where they continue to cuddle and talk until they both drift off to sleep.

~~~

"Does this mean I'll get to suck your other Ring-Pop."

"I want a divorce."

End Note: Why didn't Jason just have Tim or Babs create an identity for him? Because fuck you that's why (affectionate). My theory is he's (not so) secretly a romantic who was hoping that he would end up in a romcom by doing this, which is exactly what happened. Except he didn't expect it to be with his brother, not that he's complaining at this point.

I dont have anything written for day 5, so ill see yall for day 6

If there's any errors, feel free to say in the comments. Or if you just want to talk.

Come talk to me elsewhere

AO3 Tumblr Twitter Bluesky

[chrismerle]

so, like, I am perhaps a little overly-protective of Veilguard, because I am genuinely very fond of it and a LOT of the complaints I see about it fall into the following categories:

'I am bitching about things that have been present since Origins, but I am very conveniently only taking issue with them now and acting as if they are unique to Veilguard'

'I am bitching about things that I claim haven't been addressed/explained, except they actually have, they just aren't super relevant to the main plot so Varric or Solas didn't turn to look at the camera and address it to my liking'

'I am bitching about how the game is messy but conveniently acting like it's UNIQUELY messy when in reality Dragon Age as a series is a goddamn mess'

'Taash is blunt and kind of awkward but seems largely unbothered by their own bluntness and awkwardness. I find this to be an unpleasant trait and anything I find unpleasant in a person is bad writing.'

'I am incapable of recognizing the difference between bad writing/game design and things that I personally just don't like that much'

and I think all of those categories of complaints are fucking stupid, and I wish the people bitching in such ways would either find some fucking whimsy and just appreciate the game for what it is, stop torturing themselves with a game they clearly don't like and aren't going to like, or at the very least have the good manners to stop putting their ass-hurt-y whinging in the main tags.

that said, I do have some legitimate criticisms! I am not just irrationally praising every element of the game.

you can't really talk to your companions in the Lighthouse. there are a few "scheduled" conversations that take place as cutscenes, but you can't just walk up to them and bug them to talk for the most part, like you can in previous games. hell, I would've been fine with the Mass Effect 3 method, where you just walk up and press the 'talk' button and they spit out vaguely situationally-relevant dialogue until they eventually tell you 'not right now, Rook.' but instead you're largely limited to just listening to your companions bond with each other by eavesdropping on them, which is relatable to me because I'm a nosy bitch and any conversation happening around me is no longer a private conversation, but isn't really what I was hoping for.

I don't think Minrathous and Treviso should have both been facing the exact same threat. like, I can buy that a merchant city with a couple handfuls of assassins and no army could be brought low by one dragon. but if the militarized techo-mage capital of The Country Where Everyone Does Dangerous Magic can't hold off ONE DRAGON then that is no longer a me problem. the excuse that was given was that it was circling the city from the air, raining death from above, but the archon's palace is its own long-range weapon, and most mages are also their own long range weapon. Rook rocking up with two additional fighters should not have been required to turn the tide in Minrathous against ONE DRAGON. Minrathous should have been facing a much larger threat than it was.

Varric really needed more ambient dialogue. I guess the devs didn't expect you to actually poke your head into the infirmary that often? 'cause the poor guy only seems to have like five canned responses that he gives. and as funny as it is that 90% of the time he was asking me when the last time I slept was with deep suspicion, it got a little old.

I ran into some audio and camera weirdness. with audio, it only ever happened with banter while running around, not in cutscenes, so I don't think it was my headphones. voices would get really crackly suddenly. and for camera, it wasn't, like, game breaking, but the camera did occasionally just whip itself around to face the opposite direction with no input from me. mostly when I started using the long range attack, but once while I was shimmying through a crack in the wall.

it's a little weird that Rook can't engage more with/about the faction they're part of. like, my first Rook was a Veil Jumper, but Bellara still had to explain basically everything to him, when it could have instead been her explaining it to Rooks of other factions but having a conversation about it with a Veil Jumper Rook. or at the very least some sort of 'Bel--Bellara--BELLARA. I know how it works.' 'Oh! Right! Sorry.'

and then there are some things I just personally wasn't a huge fan of:

I could have lived very comfortably without ever seeing the Mass Effect 3 readiness rating ever again. but there it is. you have to do ... so many side quests ... if you want to keep all of your companions alive. so many of them.

most of the armor is really ugly, in my opinion. my first Rook spent the entire game running around in the N7 armors (the version without the coat was his casual outfit, since my private running joke was that he only ever had time to take his coat off before he had to go put out more fires). my current Rook has been running around in the brown leather duster coat the entire time. I think it's because they're all kind of over-designed? a lot of them would be perfectly fine if they got simplified a bit. whoever dressed the Lords of Fortune, you need help, most of their outfits are so fucking ugly.

I know it's CONVENIENT when you use the same button for basically everything but the 'interact' button and the 'jump' button being the same means I tried to pick something up and then accidentally yeeted myself off a cliff or into a volcano so many times.

they nerfed my archers, man :( I mean, I kinda get it. I was an archer once in Inquisition and was so over-powered. archers got to be so fucking cheap in Inquisition, especially if you specialized as an artificer. it was great. some of the most fun I've ever had playing Dragon Age was being an explosive archer in Inquisition.

the Inquisitor's class should have been one of the previous choices we could carry over. in general, I don't care that it was mostly a clean slate, but we should have at least been able to specify if the Inquisitor was a warrior, rogue, or mage. let us actually see them in combat at the end.

I ... don't think I really had a point to this whole ramble. I just have a lot of Dragon Age thoughts and feelings and only a few Dragon Age friends, and I can only babble at them so much before I feel like they'll wanna break my keyboard with their brains.

[anti-rq-gumi]

I'm sorry I can't 8e a good folken. I'm transa8led and transharmed and want to take my eye and am the victim in a cona8usive rel8ionship. I wish I could 8e 8etter and 8e accepted 8y this community.

It must be hard. I've seen your attempts to interact with other antis, expressing what you believe in on your own terms, like how we do, and get next to no response or validation. I admire your persistence. You may have gone about trying to better yourself in some flawed ways, but that doesn't take away how you have put in effort.

I'll do my best to give you some pointers.

Members of the anti radqueer discord server I'm in have claimed that you've groomed not just one, but several people, and also that you're attempting to do that again now. These are obviously some very serious accusations. I've tried to find information on this but most of what's currently available online are old callout posts that ignore any sort of nuance to your actions. A few of your posts address that nuance in throwaway sentences. I recommend making one centralized post addressing all that - it might give some of my fellow antis some insight into what you regret, what you don't, and what you're currently doing.

Your experience with BIID is something I completely believe. Your identities of transabled and transharmed are real feelings, and you're not a terrible person for feeling that way. Scores of people in both the anti and radqueer communities have experiences similar enough to you that those terms you identify with exist. I get the impulse to act on those feelings. It isn't exactly the same for me because I have depression rather than BIID, but on some level I understand the desire to self harm. I understand that breaking out of that sort of pattern if you're used to it and you want it is extremely difficult to do.

What being anti radqueer means to me and my mutuals is doing our best not to cause harm. Not to harm ourselves and not to harm other people. That's the foundation of our community. You might've noticed that a lot of my tags are stylized as anti- something accepted among radqueers I want to discourage due to its harm. From what I've seen of your current beliefs, you're already part of the way there. You just have to take more steps in order to reduce the amount of harm you're causing in your own life. And if you need help doing that from professionals or relevant resources that's okay.

I did see your reply to my conabuse masterpost by the way. Your usage of a safeword and clear communication is genuinely really good. Much better than most conabusive relationships I've seen. Really only one thing stuck out to me.

"4ND 47 7H3 3ND 0F 7H3 D4Y, 1F 17 15 48U51V3? WH0 FUCK1NG C4R35. 1 D0N'7 W4N7 0U7, 1 D0N'7 N33D 0U7."

(Plain text: "And at the end of the day, if it is abusive? Who fucking cares. I don't want out, I don't need out.")

We care very deeply. We want victims of abuse to become free of it and eventually recover as much as they can. You seem to be safely enjoying the between-BDSM-and-conabuse dynamic you have, so I won't push anything on you, but please keep in mind this is the general attitude of the group you want to join.

[seeyouonsaturn]

Finally got around to making a proper TFA version for my girl Trixie!

Her primary verse is Transformers One, and you can find its introductory post here (and all Trixie content in the tag #oc: i'll be your animal on my blog, this is my beloved freak baby!). But she's shipped with Sentinel Prime, and he must be bothered in every universe, especially TFA. We all agree he's got a very repressed thing for organics, right?

Well, here it is! TFA!Trixie [she/it]. Fucked up critter, professional menace.

I kept its design mostly as-is, only changing some minor markings, making its snout a teensy bit shorter, gave it whiskers and ear tufts (I'm not 100% sold on the ear tufts). And, of course, she doesn't have her collar, because she's not a pet in this verse.

Why is its name still Trixie if TF1!Sentinel specifically named it that, as a nickname for Matrix? I don't know. Don't think too hard about it. I'm too attached to Trixie being its name, I don't want to give her another one, so just go with it lmao.

Though she's similar in personality to TF1!Trixie – it's still Trixie after all – TFA!Trixie is not nearly as evil as her counterpart. TFA!Sentinel may be a jerkwad, but he's still a good guy, and would never be okay with the kind of shit TF1!Trixie pulls (affectionate). So she's, at least on a technicality, a good guy, and allies herself with the Autobots. That said though, she's by all means still an utter menace of a creature.

Backstory under the cut!

Trixie came to Earth on the Nemesis, but she's not, and has never truly been, a Decepticon. Rather, it was on the run from her home planet (she's still a wanted criminal, just... not quite as bad), and chose to stowaway on the wrong ship. The Decepticons were not happy to discover they had a hitchhiker, but, possibly feeling kinship to a fellow organic, or perhaps simply sensing her plot-relevancy, Blackarachnia took enough pity on her to convince Megatron to allow her to live. Trixie had no choice but to swear fealty to him, living as little more than a slave on the Nemesis for the next months, barely avoiding several sessions of being experimented on (well, there was some experimenting, but nothing that left lasting damage).

As time went by though, she sort of grew on the Decepticon crew enough for them to treat her as more of a tolerated pet rather than a captive. Her personality does mesh with them rather well, and once it felt secure enough they wouldn't kill it for speaking out of turn, and dared to diss them back whenever they insulted her, they wound up getting along, by Decepticon standards. Luckily, Blackarachnia had already outfitted the ship to support the survival of organic beings – meaning, herself – which gave Trixie access to food and water, and anything else it may need, and the two of them especially formed an unexpected bond, although they can hardly be considered close.

When the ship crashed, Trixie managed to snag an escape pod and get out of there with everyone else (except Starscream). It even brought her straight to Earth, crashing not too far from Detroit. However, the pod – another one of Blackarachnia's works, outfitted for organic life – put her in stasis, knocking her out and burying itself in the ground, never to be found by any humans. 50 years later, the dispersal of the Allspark sent a pulse through the air, finally bringing the downed pod back to life, awakening Trixie from its prolonged nap.

It crawled out, disoriented and with a headache, but otherwise not worse for wear. Once it had managed to get at least the most basic idea of what was going on, she tracked down the bots in Detroit, if only because they were the only species on the planet she knew. But it was well aware, and reasonably terrified, that Megatron would likely kill it for deserting, or being gone so long, or simply for existing – and even if not, it did not want to go back to the Decepticons either way – so she decided the Autobots were her best bet. Out of necessity, not want. For protection.

Trixie managed to befriend Sari, who has the sort of plot armor allure that makes everyone love her, even Trixie; and Sari convinced Optimus and the others to let it stay. Considering it's behaving itself at least somewhat decently, and has inside information on the Decepticons it's more than happy to share, he agreed. The citizens of Detroit barely even care at this point. What's one more alien?

And then the Elite Guard shows up, bringing Sentinel with it, and Trixie catches on very quickly that he's fun. Fun to mess with, that is. His utter disgust for organics causes him to be repelled by it even when it's not doing anything, and when it touches him he screams like a little girl, so Trixie immediately latches onto him and delights in clambering up to sit on his shoulder and licking his face. She can't help herself; his reactions are too funny. Optimus does not feel inclined to help the poor mech either.

(Un)fortunately for Sentinel, though, he comes to find that he really does not hate it nearly as much as he acts like he does. And once Trixie figures that out, it'll never leave him alone again. Rip.

Yeah, good luck with that.

[icepip]

general discourse talking below

its something that i noticed today with the "discourse" im involved with currently, and has been a trend with every other discourse crusade: the lack of tagging and triggers. the people who make these call out posts always post uncensored/unedited screenshots of the content they find disturbing and always use every popular tag they can think of for visibility and reach. however, not only does that go against tumblr's tos (only using relevant tags), it also negates the effort the original poster put in to clearly label their content.

every writer i've come across has warnings and tags clearly stated, especially for dark content. this is helpful because of the filtering system. if you search general tags, then you might find writers you don't know and therefore couldn't block before seeing their content. but there's a very easy way to filter certain tags or phrases in posts so that you don't see something you don't want to see. posting a screenshot does not have that same affect. by taking a picture of content you deem harmful or morally unacceptable and posting it without labels, you are also participating in that harm.

if i'm posting writing for ship x and you don't like ship x, block the tag. i specifically tag for characters, ships, and any other content warnings that are relevant so that it's easily found for people looking for that content, but also so it's just as easily avoidable. by blocking the tag, you will not see my posts if you're searching for character a. and if you were to go to my blog to look for content, you would see posts containing ship x hidden from view.

though the filtering and blocking system is far from perfect, it's pretty fucking good at doing exactly what you ask of it. so even if you want to call out certain content, please at least tag it accordingly. you may very well be causing more harm than good to the people you're trying to protect.

[anonymous-bastard]

Intro

Welcome to my (semi-secret) John Stewart rp blog featuring Urban Planning. Married to @hi-its-kat

I don't really know what else to say? The only reason I'm doing this is because I can no longer keep track of my tags using my featured tags. This whole blog happened entirely on accident. So like. Idk.

Hi.

Currently plot relevant posts:

My other blogs are @hi-its-kat @lantern-rings and [redacted for spoilers].

Do not flirt with me if you or your character are underage. I'm an adult, John's an adult, I'd be incredibly uncomfortable.

FYI: sometimes I block people. It's usually not personal, I'm just trying to make this a comfortable space for myself. I promise I don't hate you.

Tags

A collection of every single tag I use. Currently important tags are bolded. I tag retroactively for archival purposes so it tends to be a while til I put them up. They make sense to me and occasionally other people.

Asks

#ask game #unsigned anon #birdie anon / 🐦 anon #sparkle anon / #✨anon #sewing needle anon / #🪡 anon #key anon / #🗝️ anon #thread anon / #🧵 anon #red square anon / 🟥 anon #triangle anon / #⚠️ anon #wing anon / #🪽 anon #ominous rock anon / #🪨 anon

character/ family tag:

#katmas tag #silly bart tag #kaias tag

ooc stuff

#ooc #my stuff

storylines (finished and unfinished)

#storyline tag: jl prank war #storyline tag: the search for hal (2024) #storyline: sniping billionaires #storyline tag: shovel talks #storyline tag: hal's adoption addiction #storyline tag: blackout #storyline tag: talon time #storyline tag: field trip to oa #waynegala / #wayne gala #storyline tag: alien marriage storyline tag: fighting god #storyline tag: fuck around and find out

locations:

#at the lux #thread world

others:

#architecture #urban planning #the train saga #GL Corps stuff #GL Corps memes #the professor era #trick or treat #the queen is dead long live the king