#//I'm tired of being the version of me that I think everyone else wants

[whatudottu]

Welcome one and all to my version of the party's loopified designs, featuring my many broken bones and blood stains I especially put into Odile who I tackled second unlike the alphabetical order that I have presented here! I'll have in-depth discussions on each designs and matching practice portraits under the cut but before that-

Siffrin 'barely taller than a preteen' no middle name no last name Loop is still barely taller than a preteen but now that preteen can claim fire to their height!

Alphabetical order GO!

Bonnie, who I've been calling Bonfire (which if that ends up being their name I can imagine Bonnie calling them 'Fire' while they call Bonnie 'Face' to match), was the last of my designs because frankly I knew from the start what their design was going to take influence from and also knew I was going to draw fire :P They were based on bonfires (of course) and also specifically the Burning Man effigies just for a humanoid figure, plus being a chef cooker and a campfire and also a very heated expressive person.

Their flames are hot but not actual wood burning so the Favour Tree (and Mirabelle in the height chart) are not at risk of combusting, they're just incredibly bright-

Isabeau my first design, with influences from @basilpaste 's Lock (with a dressform body) and @nullapophenia 's original version of Husk (the faceless identityless sketch), I have combined them both to make a mannequin it/its loopified design that finally gets to be capital T Tall all for the low low price of being Changed against its will and suffering another bout of body dysphoria that it can't fix anymore :) :) :) When I was referencing mannequins I actually noticed how long their legs actually were let alone how they were perma-stuck in that Barbie-like highheel pose and thought why don't I just curse Isa with something he previously wanted :P

Something something Isabeau actively Changed not only his body but his personality to become someone he wouldn't be ashamed of, yada yada Loopsabeau is back to hating itself and has started to become a person it despises to match (also like a mannequin it's head and arms are technically painlessly removeable :P)

Third in order and third in design is Mirabelle, who technically is the only loopified design with technically hair and clothes, but the hair are the tangled roots of the Favour Tree and the clothes are like the carved hardstone statues of religious figures :P Initially my Idea for Mirabelle was to make her kinda like her statue, with the wonky expression of someone who made it without much mastery over details, not to pit anything against Mira, no, no. Thought about maybe abstract statue design but I couldn't find a version I liked but I did always imagine her statue being weathered in some way, there was a reason why I saved her for third I couldn't pick what I wanted. But then I remembered the broken Change God statues, thought about the 'blessing' that ended up being a curse, and then thought about overgrown weathering and gave her the roots.

I actually looked up Black hairstyles and mostly wondered what specific hair texture Mirabelle had (she wears it in a fro of course, but she has flyaways that aren't coils, but she described her own hair as kinky and :P) so that if I were to mimic hair with tree roots I can get an appropriate matching hairstyle (settled on megatwists). Hah, if Mira has 4C hair, considering how long her hair actually looks, if she to wear her hair in twists she might actually have elbow length hair :P

I spent 8 non-consecutive hours on Odile can you tell? Can you see my hands bleeding my wrist breaking my eyes drooping? Yeah so Odile was again, my second design and it took me a week to recover, and she's a combination of gem and mirror suit with all the little fragments floating around her the 'diamonds' that represent all her family members party plus the ones she originally had in sets of 2. I also put geodes where parts of her body have broken off (inspired by how when the King strikes she can't move, plus also being a glass canon) where when I was actually drawing those geodes that they kinda use the Change symbol?

Circle within a circle within a circle, regardless of how wiggly it is, and at the centre is a cluster of crystals. That was an accidental reference to Odile's mixed heritage but hoo boy what a connection! Her missing pieces are a combination of 'being too old for this' fragility and also 'i didn't want to render more mirrors sue me'

Anyway I am going to put my wrist in a cast and imagine loopified party members with their pre-wish counterparts :P

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[amplexadversary]

.

[sonicboomseason3]

a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:

paramount has come out in public support of israel

keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie

james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile

there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???

kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too

this is a complete and utter joke.

EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]

you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.

i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.

with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.

ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.

[soaps-mohawk]

I just saw someone talk about Simon Riley being a rapist and the only way they tried to confirm it is by saying that he is a war criminal and all soldiers are misogynistic and sexist and they also talked about how he dreamt of hurting women in the comics when that's quite literally a normal reaction by being raped by both men and women (what I mean is that abused people sometimes dream of becoming someone they're not and don't want to be) but they conveniently forgot to mention how that "dream" was a nightmare. (Just wanted to rant about this and see your opinion)

The sigh I let out when I saw this ask this morning.

I'm so sick and tired of seeing this discourse. Not just in this fandom but in every fandom. Maybe it's just because I'm old and my frontal lobe is fully developed, or maybe it's because I was in fandom back in the days where there were no tags. You were lucky if you got a warning at the beginning of a fic. Most fics you walked in blind and if you didn't like something? You hit the back button and found something else.

This sudden mainstreaming of fandom has ruined these spaces. People come in, refuse to "learn the rules" that most of us learned by just existing in these spaces and watching others interact. There were no written rules back then. We learned by observing and occasionally being guided on fandom etiquette by those more experienced than us. Now it's just like people come in expecting fandom to be like every other space on the internet and then get defensive and angry when they realize it's not. Fandom is cringy. It's nerdy. It's happy and sunshine and it's dark and ugly like every media out there. Us creators and those of us more experienced in fandom have been screaming how to exist in fandom spaces from the rooftops but no one is listening and then everyone wonders why creators are leaving these spaces. Why fandoms keep getting abandoned.

All of that aside, this discourse about FICTIONAL characters pisses me off. Simon Riley is a FICTIONAL character. He has no morality, there is no right or wrong because he's FICTIONAL. You can make him do whatever you want to do because he's NOT REAL. You can give him wings and have him fly and guess what?? Cool, that can happen because he's NOT REAL. You want to make him a rapist? Cool, you can do that because he's FICTIONAL. You can make him whatever you want to make him because he's a character. He's not a living, breathing human being. There are no consequences of his actions because he's FICTIONAL!!!

Don't even get me started on this sudden discourse about dark fics and dead dove that's appeared recently. Dark media has existed for literal centuries. The Epic of Gilgamesh from 1800 BCE. The Odyssey. Mostellaria by Plautus. The Castle of Otranto published in the 1700s. Frankenstein. Dracula. The works of Edgar Allan Poe. Lolita. Hell, look at the Bible. The Bible, especially the old testament, is fucked up. Even in the watered down, bastardized King James version, the things the old testament "God" supposedly did, when you sit and actually think about them outside the lens of religious brainrot, are super fucked up.

People have been creating dark media for a long time. Horror has existed for a long time because it plays to our worst fears. It gives us a safe way to express those fears and to experience them without having to experience them first hand. You wouldn't bitch at a horror movie director for including things like rape and gore and murder in their movies?? So why is writing different? You think every horror movie director agrees with the things they portray on screen? You think every horror movie director would go out and murder someone just because they made a movie about it? No, because we're allowed to portray things in all forms of media, we're allowed to write things without morally agreeing with them. Guess what, most people that write rape or assault or violence, aren't going out and doing those things in real life. They don't support those things in real life. In fact, people that write dark fanfics are some of the loudest protesters against those things.

If you want to make Simon Riley a real person, guess what? He's not going to be even morally grey. Most people in the military are not good people. They're not. The people that are good people in the military, or were in the military, are the ones saying that the loudest. People that got tricked into joining, people that got promised things, people that did it because they had no other choice and then realized what it was really like after getting in? Those are the people to listen to. Not Call of Duty, not the people trying to convince you to join because they're glorified sales people and have a quota to fill. Look up videos of what happened in Iraq and Afghanistan at the hands of American and British soldiers. You would not like Simon Riley if he were a real person.

But he's not real. He's FICTIONAL. Even as a fictional character, he's not a good person. So many Call of Duty fans put on the blinders and ignore the fact that these men are out here committing awful acts of violence and killing people because they're "the good guys." People love to forget that Price literally kidnapped a woman and a child and had them held at gunpoint to get information out of someone. Not only that, he was okay with it. If he were a real person that did that, you would not be questioning if he were a good person or not. You can tell the people that have never played the games or watched playthroughs, who only know these characters through the lenses of fanfics and artwork and headcanons.

Call of Duty is military propaganda. They paint these men as heroes, make it easy to put the blinders up and ignore the things that are happening, the things they're doing so that they can convince young men that they want to do that and they should join the military so they can go out and do that too. That's Call of Duty's audience. That's who they're creating these games for. These young, impressionable boys who get excited by the violence and the action who will go on to fill quota numbers for recruiters. Call of Duty was not made for us, the people writing fanfiction and creating art for it. This side of the Call of Duty fandom will be the first to tell you all of this.

This side of the fandom creates fanworks which would turn Activision's eyes red. We babygirlify their military propaganda because it actively goes against what Activision is trying to do. It goes against what Call of Duty is at its core. Sure, some people water it down a lot, and others keep it more realistic to what these men would be like in real life, because it's FICTION. You can portray these characters however you want because that's what fiction is for.

And guess what, anon? Rape kinks exist. Consensual non-consent exists. It's well known. And guess what? Victims of sexual assault and rape can develop those kinks as a coping mechanism. Here's a study from the NIH website, and if that's too complex for you, here's a VICE news article that uses that study. People can write rape and rape kinks and CNC and noncon and not support it in real life. People can write those things to bring awareness to the fact that they happen to people in real life, or because people in real life have those kinks. People write those things to help victims, to support them. It's cathartic. Dark media most often is created for catharsis. It gives people an outlet, and it allows people to experience those things in a safe, controlled environment for whatever reason.

And that's the thing, anon. People don't have to give anyone a reason for why the consume that kind of media. Creators don't owe anyone an explanation as to why they create it. It's none of your business, and if you're not comfortable with it, then don't consume it. You can turn off the TV if a horror movie is too much for you. People walk out of theaters all the time because a movie is not what they were expecting, be it because it was bad or because it was too graphic or violent or disgusting. You start reading a book and you don't like it for whatever reason? You put the book down and pick up another. Why do people have such a problem with not reading fanfics they don't like? Why do people have such a hard time just blocking creators that make things they don't want to see. Most dark fic and dead dove creators put ample warnings on their blog and their posts. That's why those tags exist. You don't like it and you don't want to see it? Then block and move on and let others enjoy what they want to enjoy.

You pearl clutchers are ruining fandom and soon there won't be anything for you to enjoy. If you can't handle fandom, then don't be in it. There is no algorithm here. You're going to see things you don't want to see and it's very easy to just block and filter tags. There was a time on Tumblr where you couldn't filter tags. I remember those days. You had to download the X-kit extension to block things, and that only worked on desktop. The fact Tumblr gave us the option to filter tags on the site and on the app was a big deal when it was rolled out. I remember so many people that didn't want to use the app when it first came out because you couldn't block potentially triggering tags.

It's not a creator's problem if you were triggered by their media. Life doesn't come with trigger warnings and it's a blessing that it's become so normalized to include warnings at the beginnings of fics. There's websites that exist for other forms of media that will give trigger warnings. If you can look up trigger warnings for a movie and decide not to watch it, you can look at the trigger warnings for fics and decide not to interact with it. You're not out here emailing the directors and producers of movies that include triggers you don't like, telling them they're awful people for including those things in their movie and they shouldn't. Yet you have no problem coming into the comments and inboxes creators who do this FOR FREE because we wrote one dark fic. Because we wrote something that's triggering to you.

And yes, some abuse victims go on to be abusers, some people continue that cycle because they don't have the help and support to break it. It's a sad thing that happens, but it happens. It happens in the fictional world and it happens in real life. People can make that happen to fictional characters for whatever reasons they want.

I've written dark fics. I've written several. I consume "disturbing" media for fun. I've read books and watched movies that would send these pearl clutchers to the hospital. Hell, I've probably written things (some published, some that will never see the light of day) that would turn these pearl clutchers inside out. Guess what? That's okay because it's FICTION. It's cathartic. I don't have to give my reasons why because it's no one's business except those I decide to tell because I trust them and I know they'll support me. I don't support those things in real life. Just because I write for Call of Duty doesn't mean I support the things the game portrays. If you consume Call of Duty media be it the games or fanfiction, does that mean you support what the game supports? What the creators of the games support? What militaries around the world support?

Think about that next time.

I’ve made my stance very clear here before, but I’ll do it again. In real life, I am anti military, anti war, anti gun violence, anti genocide, anti fascism, anti terf, anti homophobia, anti conservative, anti rape, anti domestic violence, anti colonialism and pro choice.

Just because I may create or consume media with those things in it, does not mean I support them. It's high time some of these pearl clutchers learn that.

The next time you want to come into a creator's inbox or comments and spew hatred towards them because of the things they write, why don't you do something useful with your time instead.

This will be my only discussion on this topic. I will not be answering any more asks like this. I will delete and block anyone who tries to come "well actually"-ing into my inbox. If you don't agree with this stance, then get off my blog and block me.

[ravens-two]

Mini-PAC: Your Person's Love Language

This one is a smaller reading, and it has no extended version. It includes your person's love language and how they express their love/feelings/emotions.

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone.

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Five of Pentacles, Two of Wands, Gratitude

"All that I am and all that I'll be, forever in gratitude I'll eternally be."

Words of Affirmation/Acts of Service

Hi, pile 1, this person has been through a lot and knows that life can be incredibly hard. That's why they do their best to make it easier for you. That's their love language, making life easier for you. They are quick to show their support and to offer help whenever you need it. They don't have any problems with saying thank you or apologizing when they're wrong. They might have in the past or they might still struggle in other relationships (with people they aren't as close with), not with you though.

They know what it's like to not have anything, including support from others, and they never want to see you there. They could have become the type of person that tells you to get it together and pull yourself by your bootstraps, but they're not. Again, this comes from a deep sense of empathy. (It actually reminds me of that Doctor Who quote "All that pain and misery, and loneliness, and it just made him kind".)

They're the type of person to do the whole "I love you, no I love you more" game. I also see them telling you that they love you as soon as they wake up or before falling asleep. They just really like to say it. They have no problems with expressing their feelings, although I'm getting that they're also private people (this side of them is just for you). I also see them being like "do you need me to listen or do you need advice?" whenever you have problem. They are quite selfless when it comes to you.

Pile 2

Seven of Cups, Judgment, Bear Medicine

"There is no tomorrow without the healing of the past for in stillness you shall find yourself right where you are."

Acts of Service/Quality Time

Understanding is the word I keep getting for your person, pile 2. I get the feeling that your person is quite silent. They remind me of a cat actually, they love spending time in the same room as you while each one does their own thing. They enjoy just reaching out a hand to you and hold hands while doing something else. In general though, I see a lot of silence. This is a comfortable silence, though, there's no awkwardness here. I also think that they're deep thinkers, so when they share their thoughts with you you'll know that it's something important for them. I don't think that saying "I love you" comes easy for them, but you'll know that they really mean it when it comes out.

A bit similar to pile 1, is that when you have a problem your person is ready to step in and help however they can. They're the type to silently act, instead of talking about what they would do. Where I really see the Acts of Service thing though, is them just doing things for you without you having to ask. Like offhandedly mentioning that you need to change your tires, they'll just do it without even saying anything (always respecting your boundaries of course). Or you might mention that you really like a certain brand of chocolate so they always keep that brand at their house so that you can have some. Your person is really thoughtful and they pay a lot of attention to what you say - and what you don't say too.

I get the feeling that they like to be left alone whenever something's wrong, so I feel like they'll do the same for you. Instead of asking what's wrong or try to cheer you up, they'll just sit beside you and keep you company.

Pile 3

Tower, Ace of Pentacles, Cardinal Medicine

"Thy self bleeds of sacredness, an honor fit for the Gods. You are worth all the seas and all the skies and all the desires you hold inside."

Gift-giving/Quality Time

Your person wants to give you the world, pile 3. Their love language is definitively gift-giving, but it's not just about big gifts or luxury (although it could be the case for some of you). For most of you I just see your person being like "look at this cool rock I found today" or "I saw these flowers and they reminded me of you". They just love giving you little trinkets. Especially things that they find unique or special in some way. They think that you deserve something that no one else can possibly have. This can even include commissioning art work or jewelry just for you.

On a more day to day level I also see them just buying your favorite treats. They just want to get home with something special for you, be it your favorite meal or candy. They are very giving in general, and if you say you want something they won't hesitate to buy it for you. Also, I get the vibe that they're incredible gift-givers. Your birthday presents are always incredibly thoughtful.

They might also enjoy creating things for you or singing/playing music for you. They like to have a good time, so having enjoyable experiences is also a love language for them. This could be a dedicated date night where you try new stuff (food, places, activities), going on vacation to new places (just the two of you), or even going to the cinema to watch a new movie. They want to spend time with you while you both do something that you enjoy.

Pile 4

Three of Wands, Emperor, Ringing the Bells

"Ring thy bell to cast them out, ring thy bell and dance about. Swirl the sounds amidst the winds, nowhere to hide, for all will ring."

Physical Touch/Words of Affirmation

Right away I can tell that this is a physical touch kind of person, pile 4. They are very fiery and might get too handsy at times, but it's not just about that for them. They just love to feel your body against theirs. They love to hold hands, wrap their arms around you, and for some of you they love biting (gentle and playful bites on your hands, arms or shoulders). They're not embarrassed by other people and just really love PDA. They like to be touching any part of you all of the time, I feel like it gives them a feeling of safety and comfort. For some of them, they were a bit touch starved for a long time, and now they're making up for it.

I also get the feeling that this person gives the best hugs! It's probably their go-to to comfort you. They'll have no problems telling you that they love and how much you mean to them (although I feel that they crave more to hear you say it, rather than saying it themselves), but their way of showing you how they feel is through touch. They might kiss you to show you that they love you or to communicate their anger or frustration with a problem. This also means that for them sex is also a way of showing you how they feel. They expect you to pay attention to the way they behave during sex to know how they're truly feeling.

When it comes to Words of Affirmation, again I don't think that they struggle to tell you that they love you - in fact I think that they say it rather often - it's more that they struggle with expressing their emotions. Again, they also prefer to receive love this way. They want to hear you say that you want/love them.

[akirathedramaqueen]

CBT and Exposure Therapy: Blitzø Showcase

An important (really, don't skip) disclaimer

If you are contemplating whether or not you would benefit from any kind of therapy, consider consulting with your medical provider first. While I did my best to validate all the points made using publicly available resources, I am not a medical professional. At the very least, I strongly advise that you do your own research and not take some amateur's opinion about a character from a silly demon show for granted.

"Everyone in this show needs fucking therapy STAT!"

We hear fans screaming into the void every now and then. Me too. I plead guilty and I willingly put myself in custody. But I am not taking these words back.

Especially often it is being said with Blitzø in mind, who, as hinted earlier and clearly shown in the latest episode, Ghostfuckers, is not doing okay. Not in the slightest.

Which is . . . yes. Indeed, trauma-ridden Blitzø is a major problem for both him and those around him. Yes, we see him reaching his lowest point now exactly because he left these gaping wounds untreated for so long.

But the tricky question is—how, though? What to do? Will a good talking to a confidante help? Or, maybe, some kind of shock would snap him out of the spiral?

I've been pondering on this topic for more than 4 months, and, as the Ghostfuckers came out, I finally got all the data I need to prove a point. The show did all the job for me and effectively made Blitzø go through improvised versions of two popular therapy techniques. And, before I even start, I want to say—I am so glad with what we ended up with. What they did, and, more importantly, didn't do, aligns well with how it would likely happen in real life.

So buckle up, and let's see where it gets us!

Therapy # 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT

This is, in essence and with some corrections, your good old talking. Here you can find more information about it, so, if you're not familiar with the topic, I recommend following the link first.

But, very shortly: CBT is an extremely common approach to be tried while you're dealing with anxiety, depression, and a number of other mental disorders. What it aims to do is to help you get past unhelpful thinking (distortions) and learn not to act on it.

Looks like it fits the bill, right? Blitzø has a lot of issues with self-fulfilling prophecies, infuriatingly stupid assumptions, poorly thought-out actions . . .

But he's not like, you know . . . w-we're not, like . . . we're not doing a . . . w-we . . . what's betw— It's a transactional fucking, you see.

If you don't feel like coming, that's OK! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his matress! It's nothing, ya know . . . it's nothing else.

You . . . no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me . . . You are— you are free of me.

He sees things which aren't truly there.

It's not Stolas giving him space after the disaster in the 'Ozzie's.' It must be Stolas not needing him anymore, getting tired of him.

It's not Stolas caring about Blitzø. He is a royal, why would he care how an imp's day he happened to be fucking was?

It's not Stolas setting Blitzø free and putting an end to a problematic transaction they had with the hope for it to grow into something more. It's him getting rid of Blitzø.

As a result, he ends up hurting himself and the relationship he had with that one sad gay bird he happened to fall deeply for but literally trashed in his own house twice, acting on nothing more than frenetic fear of losing Stolas, but in reality, driving him away even more . . . for good.

I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!

Ha! I'm right, aren't I? You get off getting plowed by people you look down on!

And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick! Everyone, but you . . .

So, the case's closed? Let someone—say, Millie—talk to him and tell him how wrong he was about himself and the others?

Well, here's the thing. Despite him being infinitely wrong about Stolas's intentions, we can't deny the fact that every one of his beliefs was not, in fact, a distortion. It'd led him to wrong conclusions, yes, but it was built on the information he received and legitimate experiences he had in his life. Here are only some of the facts connected to only this situation with Stolas, but there are other problematic behaviors and other reasons for him acting the way he does.

Fact # 1. The circus fire did happen, and Blitzø was the reason for it. Unintentional, and of course it wasn't his fault, but it still ruined the lives of many people—him included. Blitzø cannot act like it never occurred.

Fact # 2. Hell is divided by class and race. Their situationship with the grimoire was an embodiment of that inequality. A lot of Blitzø's outburst during the Full Moon and later in the Apology Tour was connected to it, to his beliefs that Stolas is the same as the rest of the privileged circle. Beliefs, I stress, justified by the real world. Stolas is more of an exception, and even then, his behavior is only different when it comes to Blitzø. He still acts the same toward other imps.

Fact # 3. We knew about Stolas's intentions all along, but before that fateful Full Moon, what Blitzø saw was Stolas avoiding him and not communicating the issue the Ozzie's date had raised. And before Ozzie's? Stolas did act entitled and inappropriate. He was baby-talking to Blitzø and used derogatory terms while addressing him. The dude literally called him an impish plaything in the Truth Seekers.

Fact # 4. Blitzø's heavily implied (though not officially confirmed by the show) existing conditions—ADHD*, BPD**, PTSD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia***—do affect his life, and while Hell seems to be somewhat receptive of neurodivergence, he still has to deal with it every single fucking day. He is going to be avoidant and afraid to be abandoned at the same time. He is going to hate himself. His learning disabilities are going to make his life harder. No way around it.

Note: *, **, and *** contain links to separate meta-analyses from @timkontheunsure and @tealvenetianmask about the respective conditions and how they show themselves in Blitzø's case.

And my beef with CBT here is exactly that. CBT's goal is to gaslight you into believing your distortions hold no water and suggests you just ignore them. And, as I've shown with Blitzø, these reactions and assumptions aren't baseless. They are legitimate, and, in fact, sometimes help to get by. Even though it's a crooked crutch, you can't learn to walk properly by just throwing that crutch away. You're still going to limp, and oh, will it be painful.

This is oversimplistic and dismissive. Anxiety and depression don't come out of the blue, and with mental disabilities, it's even deeper. The class/disability stigma is alive and strong, and just slapping a "you're fine" bandaid on your traumatized self isn't going to help.

Therapy # 2. Exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is another approach commonly used while dealing with traumatic past and its aftermath—PTSD, anxiety, phobias, and such. Again, if you're not familiar, there's the link for you, but very shortly—the therapist puts the patient in a safe environment and 'exposes' them to the feared object in question for limited periods of time. The goal is to eventually get rid of the targeted fear and decrease avoidance.

And Blitzø has got some phobias for sure.

The fear of letting everyone down. Again.

And the fear of abandonment. Again.

All of it is a result of self-hatred, sitting so deeply it rules his life and his vision of how others perceive him. Said it himself. Almost.

So, where and how does the show expose Blitzø to his traumatic past?

First, the most recent, and the most obvious one—Rolando and his slideshow of all traumatic events Blitzø ever had in his life.

Second—Blitzø's drug trip in the Truth Seekers. While it does not contain the events of the past as they were, it does force him to face his fears.

Are you worried I might have enough of it one day as well? . . . You're going to die alone! . . . You're going to die alone, Blitzo!

With some stretch, the third one is Verosika's 'Blitzo sucks' party. Where Blitzø was forced to see the consequences of his avoidance and rejection.

Note: to be clear, I do think the party does not show the true extent of Blitzø's actions and how much he'd hurt people. It was exaggerated by Verosika, and here I explain why this is the case.

So, what gives? Or, rather, what gives it not?

It might sound funny now, considering I brought it up myself, but I, once again, say this is not therapeutic, just as CBT kind of 'talking.' If anything, all these three events did more harm than good.

The D.H.O.R.K.S.'s goal in the Truth Seekers was to torture the information out of Blitzø. He was not supposed to overcome it. He was supposed to crack.

The Verosika's goal was to ruin Blitzø's reputation. She was working her ass off to prove he's just a heartless freak.

The Rolando's goal was to fucking kill Blitzø.

And okay, their motivations had nothing to do with helping him, but maybe it did, in its own twisted way?

No. The writers added this to push Blitzø past the breaking point, not to heal him, and to show us more of his lore. Each time he was forced to face his past or fears or consequences, he was only spiraling more.

The only thing which did him some good was . . . well, Millie finally seeing his bravado mask falling off. But the cost of it was way too high. Not worth it.

To the therapy's defense, some points why it would never work in the way it was done in the show:

Blitzø had never given his consent and was not ready to face it. I might be very rude right now, but go and try producing some explosion-like sounds in front of war veterans without letting them know first and see what happens.

The amount of fearful experience exposed was way too overboard. He couldn't possibly digest it in a healthy way.

The environment was not safe. It was straight-up retraumatizing, an intentional one.

So there's that.

But what helped then?

We've briefly brushed over the fact Millie did talk to Blitzø. While I did imply this might be an example of CBT, here are some key deviations from the classic therapy which made all the difference.

Millie didn't sugarcoat all the shit Blitzø did. He was hurting their business. He didn't pay her. He was reduced to Bethanie. It showed her opinion can be trusted.

Millie apologized for not being there for him sooner. She admitted she relied too much on Blitzø being bulletproof, unbothered by everything. She admitted she didn't support him in a way he always did.

While proving she could never hate Blitzø, she used their common story, one he knows and can recall. She used evidence to prove him wrong, not a "it's all in your head" bandaid. And more than that, later she proved it with action—not for one second did she believe Rolando and his shittalk about what Blitzø supposedly was thinking about her. Her unwavering faith spoke more than any words ever could.

Getting back to exposure therapy . . . Metaphorically, she reminded Blitzø he can handle a beating or two. And physically beat the infestor demon out of him, which, as we can see later, didn't really affect Blitzø that much. He wasn't even battered. So, apparently, when the said exposure is done by someone who genuinely tries to make you feel better and knows your limits well, it might just work?

And finally, Millie acknowledged Blitzø's pain. She didn't brush it away. She validated him.

What all of this is about?

Like every treatment, too much of a medicine can become poisonous. So are CBT and exposure therapy.

They might help, and lots of research shows they do in certain cases. But there are limitations to what they can and cannot achieve, and they have to be adjusted to each individual story, to each trauma, and they should not be applied as a way to mend the outcome of the trauma without taking into account the story it comes with. Again, legitimate concerns and experiences cannot be brushed away or ignored.

Actualy . . . we've seen where it leads in the show too. In the beginning, Millie was quite dismissive of Blitzø's worries—all of this over a . . . breakup?

And here it comes full circle.

Only when Millie started taking Blitzø seriously, did it help them progress. And look how quickly we've switched from a complete despair to a glimmer of hope! Isn't that a beautiful closing scene?

As a closing note—we do not need to 'fix' Blitzø. After all this shit he went through, there won't be a day where he wakes up and be like, "Hey, I don't hate myself anymore! And look, I'm not afraid to be abandoned or misunderstood!"

I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is a lifelong battle. Being mentally whole, healthy, and constantly happy is no more than a myth, and everyone has their own demons and skeletons to deal with.

What Blitzø needs is some good support system to pull him back when he's down.

And boy, do I hope that one particular owl will fill in that role of unyielding pillar for Blitzø each time our lizard will fall into that pit again. Look, I love Millie, but there's only so much she can do. She can't be always present, she has her own life . . . and her own disaster of a husband to look after (affectionate <3). Here and here @lost-romantique talks about Stolas's capacity of loving, with me occasionally nodding, ha-ha. But to be short—it's fucking immense. And since he loves words, I do believe he has all the energy to tell again and again and again how awesome Blitzø is. Even if Blitzø wouldn't believe it himself.

[scoobydoodean]

hot take ig but… dean wanting to contain jack was not cruel or even a bad idea…

first, it was not just dean’s idea. sam agreed, and cas had basically the same idea, just using the cage instead. but for some reason everybody ignores this!! second, containing dangerous people is what they always do. sam and cas have done so to dean. the s5 finale was all about locking up a dangerous powerful being. and there are other examples! third, jack was the most powerful being in the universe and had no soul meaning no ability to discern right from wrong. he was killing people! and they’ve always seen soulless people as dangerous. dean was willing to let sam die via the process of returning his soul bc he saw that soulless sam was not sam. and sam agreed!

like. yes dean was not handling the situation well, let alone gently, so i understand why sam and cas were frustrated. but his mother had just been killed (and ftr i do think cas was being kind of insensitive about it), and jack was still killing other people. dean’s allowed to be angry. he was being outwardly meaner, but sam was agreeing with him (he said a part of him wanted jack dead!) up until the point that dean actually agreed to kill jack for chuck.

idk i just feel like people really exaggerate dean’s actions in this situation especially in comparison to what sam and cas were saying and/or doing too. so i’m just wondering what you think of all of this? do you think dean was “right” or was he overreacting? or do you think the audience is too hard on dean (as always :/) about this? could this be another version of samdela effect? cause i feel like people misremember what the others were saying/doing in order to put more on dean…

also omg i just realized how long this became, so so sorry for the long rant!! if you can respond, thank you!

*opens my coat* would you care for some memes?

I will take your hot take and flambé it. When it comes to this subject, I don't feel inclined to be patient with fandom or carefully lay anything out piece by piece. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a betrayal it was to put Jack in the box and how mean and evil and abusive it was blah blah blah cry me a river. I was there watching when that episode aired and saw how stupid everyone was about that episode in real time and it was annoying then and it continues to be annoying that almost no one seems to bother putting a single granule of thought into this episode or what Sam and Dean were thinking or what the stakes actually were. And yeah—it was not just Dean who did that despite the samdela effect hard at work causing people to insist Dean somehow forced Sam to go along with him when that categorically did not happen.

People act like Jack was just standing there shitting rainbows and unicorns out of his ass and Dean turned around and strangled him to death for it. What happened was Soulless Jack killed Sam and Dean's mom and then went off and turned someone into a pillar of salt for being an atheist and filled someone else's body with worms to punish them for not wanting to be turned into an angel. Then he showed up at the bunker trying to make nice in the most hauntingly emotionless way possible—calling killing Mary an accident and then in his next breath saying he snapped and killed her because she threatened to reveal that the manner in which he killed Nick was scary and disturbed. In other words—he made it very clear to Mary's sons that murdering her was not actually a fucking accident at all even while he was calling it one.

Jack: I know -- I know things have been bad. A-And, if it helps, I regret it. The accident. Sam: The -- The accident? Jack: What happened to Mary. She kept talking about my soul, t-that I didn't have a soul, and she kept pushing. Dean: Oh, so she made you do it. Jack: No, it -- it was me, but I didn't want this no-soul thing to become an issue between us. I guess I snapped. Before I knew it, it was all over. Dean: "It" being the accident.

So Sam and Dean tricked him (the most powerful being in all creation) into getting in a box and he sat in there for 10 minutes. Oh no. How horrible.

A lot of the stupid fandom response to this is rooted in the babyfication of Jack that ran rampant within fandom at the time and continues in many circles. I happen to like Jack, and when I say that, I mean that I actually like him, and not the fanon adultbabydestiellovechild the fandom invented who has the emotional and mental capacity of a two year old and can't understand the difference between right and wrong. The real Jack did understand, and the real Jack would be (and was when he returned) horrified by what soulless Jack did (and for more than just how it would impact him). Jack was always an emotional person who struggled to control great power, but he had a strong moral compass and he loved people. That Jack would never have subjected someone to the twisted biblical punishments soulless Jack did for the crime of not believing in god or in him???? That Jack would have thrown Dumah into a wall in a rage for the mere suggestion he kill people over their beliefs and said, "You're hurting people". That Jack also would have wanted Sam and Dean to lock him up to protect others.

Some of the fandom problem with this also has to do the soulless lore as a whole and the constant usage of Donatello as the "soulless people can manage" poster child. Which ignores not only soulless Jack's actual behavior and how deeply dangerous his powers make him, but... pretty much every other soulless person we ever saw in the series, from soulless Sam, to numerous victims of Amara who turned into raging murderers in season 11 after she ate their souls. Hell though—the same people who insist soulless Jack was some poor little baby who just needed gentle parenting probably also think there was nothing wrong with soulless Sam despite the fact that he watched his brother be assaulted multiple times and seemed to actively enjoy it. Just normal Sam things, right? Donatello is the exceptional soulless person—not the rule—and it's because it isn't in his best interest to make trouble.

The idea that soulless Jack could be molded was suggested by Cas, but he also (as you pointed out) ended up inquiring about putting Jack in The Cage, instead of the Ma'lak box (and after the Ma'lak box was destroyed, so it wasn't an option anymore).

Lbr—the misogyny also jumped out in this string of episodes. Countless posts one after the other about how stupid Mary was and how it was all her fault and Jack did nothing wrong. How dare she make Jack angry. God forbid. What a stupid, frail, illogical woman. She deserved to die long before that anyway because she was a terrible mother, right? I mean it was obvious this sort of nonsense would come from the fandom in advance, given how many people had meltdowns over Dean shooting Jack in the back (something that didn't hurt Jack in the least) to get him to stop strangling a black store clerk to death in 13.23. As always, the imagined frail little fee fees of the white adult baby that fans invented must supersede other people's lives. Jack should be allowed to throw whatever tantrums he wants and kill anyone he wants during them and in response, Dean should shush him and start singing lullabies and carry him to a rocking chair to nurse.

[jaydedstories24]

For who YOU are– Michael Langdon AHS apocalypse

Summary: after Cordelia kills Ms mead Michael Langdon kills the other witches but takes the reader hostage when he sees that the others have escaped. For the first time in Michael’s life, someone wants to know what he wants.

Warnings: kidnapping, being held hostage, Burning someone at the stake, swearing, talk of abuse.

Word count: 1.6+

Tags: @ajokeformur-ray

Y/n POV

“where did you guys go?” I say to everyone that's just walked in the door.

“To take care of a problem, dear” Myrtle says.

“and is there a reason why you went without me but everyone else” I asked.

I take a look at Zoe, Madison, queenie, Mallory and Cordelia they're all dressed in black.

“ You burnt someone at the stake didn't you” I accuse.

“Yes y/n if you must know we burnt someone at the stake” Cordelia walked passed me.

“Who” I asked.

Cordelia hasn't really spoken to me or has been really arrogant since Michael came into our lives apparently I'm the only one here that doesn't see him what everyone else says he is.

“Who” I yelled.

“the old lady with the black hairstyle” Madison answers.

“Ms. Mead you killed Ms. why on earth would you do that” I freak out.

“To show Michael that I’m done messing around with him” Cordelia says

Taking her by surprise I put both of my hands on the side of her head and forced myself into her memories.

Flashes, the burning, the smell of charred flesh.

“I will kill you all” Michael promised.

I take my hands off of Cordelia.

“I am your supreme you may have gifts that the others don’t but you will not use them on me” she orders.

“Some supreme you are you’ve practically signed our death certificates with that you do understand right? At least Fiona would’ve made a truce with him” I yell.

“Do not use my mother against me y/n” Cordelia scolds.

“I have gifts you don’t that is correct it’s also why I told you not to attack Michael everything I saw everything I warned you about” I told Cordelia.

“What you saw maybe true but that side of Michael is long gone I gave him a chance today and he turned it down” Cordelia replied.

“Of course he did you killed the one person he thought who loved him what did you think that you were going to walk off arm in arm, embrace the coven that killed the closest thing to he ever had to a mother. I don’t think he would want to bake cookies with you Cordelia” I spat

“I’m strong enough to take him y/n” Cordelia says.

“That’s a laugh” I smiled.

I turned around to walk back up the stairs.

“Where do you think you’re going Missy?” Cordelia questioned.

“To paint my nails so that they’re fresh for my inevitable death, are you coming Madi? I invite her.

“No, this shits crazy I’m out for what it’s worth y/n I hope you live you’re the only one I like around here.” She walks out the front door.

“When Michael comes here and trust me he will. I won’t fight him and I won’t protect you” I warn

I walked upstairs.

Red.

Red I think is a fantastic colour to paint your nails before you die. I think painting them black is just a little on the nose.

It has started my blood runs cold I can hear the witches downstairs especially the younger ones calling out for me. But if I have any chance of being able to really meet Michael for who he is I can’t do anything. So I put my headphones on and paint my last nail.

I look up when I smell the metallic scent that blood gives off.

Michael stands at my door my breath hitches. It’s different looking into Michael’s eyes they’re look hardened much unlike the sweet past version I saw him as in murder house. However they still have the Same jaded look on his face

He stands there for a moment before racing towards me I only flinch when he blows black dust into my face.

Floating? I feel I’m floating I don’t open my eyes I’m too tired and strangely I’m at peace.

I feel someone put me on what feels like a wooden chair and put something on my wrist.

My head rolls forward and I wake up.

“Thank Satan I thought you were going to sleep forever then you wouldn’t have been very helpful to me” Michael says.

“Yeah well that stuff smells like goats ass” I say half smart.

“No that would be me actually” he tells me.

Now that he says that it gives me a moment to take in his appearance disheveled, dirty but mostly he looks broken.

“Listen Michael I know you’re going through a hard time–“ I start.

“A hard time your witches killed my Ms mead and now you’re going to help me” he yells.

“I’m not going to be much help to you” I say quietly.

“You will help me whether you like it or not” he towers over me.

To my surprise I don’t quiver when he stands over me.

“You see when the witches when they notice you’re gone they will have to come out of hiding and look for you” he tells me.

“No they won’t we got into a disagreement. I’ve been arguing with the coven for months now” I disagree with him.

There’s a look in his eyes that proves he wants to believe me but some part that thinks he can’t after everything he’s been through.

I struggle with the rope’s around my wrists. They start burning.

“They’re cursed ropes they won’t hurt you unless you try to escape” he says.

In this moment I found that interesting he doesn’t intend to hurt me. I stop resisting and relax.

“You say that the coven has had a disagreement with you. What could possibly cause that much of a rift that they wouldn’t protect their own” he asks me.

Michael sits down on a wooden box waiting for my answer.

“You, we had a disagreement about you” I answered hesitantly.

He leans forward slightly, “what about me?”

“They think you’re evil” I answered.

Michael seems suspicious for a moment, “you don’t”

I shake my head.

“Why” he scoffs.

“Because after you performed the seven wonders and the extra challenges Cordelia made us look into you. She sent Madison and I to the house you grew up in”

“What did you find there?. Did you find whatever proof you were looking for?” He seems intrigued.

“The others found what they needed to crucify you but I don’t agree with them” I answered honestly.

“If you went looking then you would have also found that I am the Antichrist” he says.

“But that doesn’t make you evil Michael it makes you powerful. I know about your upbringing, about Constance’s abuse, trying to get to know Tate as your dad and your interesting relationship with Ben. Michael I know a lot about you and I understand it but everyone your entire life has done nothing but force their opinions on you” I say softly.

He takes a moment to comprehend everything I just said to him.

“So you know full well everything I am so you understand why I’m so upset about Ms. Mead she is the one person who didn’t force anything on to me” he says softly.

I sighed. He hasn’t realised it yet but she was using him too.

“Don’t suggest otherwise to me don’t lie to me” he orders.

“Michael I’m not I promise to you I’m not” I tell him.

He seems to be waiting for an explanation.

“I have a particular gift that allows me to adsorb a memory and share it with other people would it be okay if I could share it with you” I asked him.

“That’s a trick I know better than that do not take me for a fool. You just want me to untie your hands” he says.

“No, Michael I use touch to transfer the memory using touch. I don’t want you to untie my hands until you’re ready, until you trust me and only then. I’m asking for permission to touch you” I explain.

He walks over to me and kneels down to my level, “do whatever you have to do, show me”

I lean forward the smell doesn’t really bother me anymore. I lean forward far enough that I’m barely touching him. I just need confirmation that he’s okay with this.

He stares at me with his blue eyes that seem to be staring into my soul. “Y/n it’s okay, kiss me.” This is the first time he’s said my name.

My lips touch his and lock my touch is as light as feather. I whisper the spell I need to to show him the memory.

He stays there absolutely shocked for a moment tearing and shaking.

He quickly undoes the ropes.

“I don’t even know what to say as shocking as it is I am thankful for the truth how can I thank you,what can I do for you ” he tells me.

Tears slide down his face.

I hug him. “Michael I want to get to know you for who you are.

The end

Author’s note this is my first post on my new account hope you like it. Anyway this is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend sorry I didn’t get to it sooner I’ve been busy

Requests are open

[lynzishell]

The Past 💛 Atlas

I was over an hour late for the gym tonight, spending the better part of the day in bed staring at the ceiling, and occasionally typing out an apology text to Ash that I would immediately delete.

I had hoped that everyone else would be gone by the time I arrived, but Dawn and Phoenix were still lingering by the climbing machines when I walked in, so I tried (and failed) to avoid them by sneaking up the stairs to the treadmills. Dawn caught up with me before I even reached the first step and knew immediately something was wrong. She insisted on waiting around for me so we could walk home together.

I was annoyed at first, wanting to be alone, but by the time we’re throwing on our sweaters and beanies, I’m glad. Afterall, I’m getting nowhere on my own, just spinning myself in circles. Talking to Dawn is one of those things I avoid until I can’t, and then always wish I’d done sooner.  

“So, what’s wrong?” Dawn asks as soon as we step outside. It’s dark out, making it feel much later than it is, and I can already feel the weight of the season settling in. Winter is always the hardest for me, and Spring is still so far away.

I’m not sure where to start so I just blurt out, “I screwed things up with Asher yesterday.”

“What happened?”

“Apparently, he’s tired of my mixed signals.”

“Have you been giving mixed signals?”

I give her a guilty look as I nod solemnly.

“What haven’t you told me?”

Everything. But it’s too much to get into, and the details aren’t important, and she knows me well enough that I'm sure she can fill in the blanks, so I tell her, “It doesn’t matter,” to which she gives me an annoyed look but let's me continue, “But he got pissed and stormed out. I can’t blame him. I don’t know what my problem is.”

“Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Please.”

“Have you ever heard the quote, ‘A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it’?”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“I get that you’re tired of losing people. And I know that causes you to keep most people at arm’s length. It may feel like you’re protecting yourself, but you’re not. You will continue to lose people if you keep pushing them away.”

“Maybe. But it will hurt less if they leave without getting too close.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“Do I?” It feels true.

“Did it hurt when Asher stormed out yesterday?”

Point taken. “Like I was being ripped apart.”

“So, why are pushing him away? You’re only causing the pain you’re trying to avoid.”

“I don’t want to. Not anymore. But it’s like, I don’t know how not to. I can’t explain it. Just, the idea of taking that step, I feel like it won’t take long for him to see that I’m not who he thinks I am, that he’ll realize I’m not someone he can…” My voice trails off, unable to finish the sentence.

“Love?”

The mere mention of the word causes my chest to tighten. I feel my mind wanting to shrug off the very idea of it. So impossible that I feel silly even considering it.

“Oh Atlas. It’s not true,” she insists. “That was the kind of shit mom and dad put in our heads. And I get it, I felt like that too for a long time. I just handled it differently. I chased love as if someone else could come in and take that feeling away. But that just made me toxic and clingy and insufferable. It was my own version of pushing people away. And every time they left it felt like proof that I was right, that I wasn’t worth loving. But it wasn’t true, was it?”

“No.”

“It’s not true for you either.”

I understand what she’s saying, and logically I know she’s right, but there’s a part of me deep down that rejects it.

When I try to continue walking, she stops me, placing a hand over my heart, “I love you, Atlas. And not just because you’re my brother. Because you are caring and kind and gentle and loyal and supportive and I could go on forever. Not only are you worthy of love, but it is impossible not to love you.”

I don’t know what to say to that. It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me, and I can tell from the look on her face that she’s sincere. “Thank you.” I reach out and give her the biggest hug I ever have. She’s surprised at first, but hugs me back, squeezing me tight. I don't think either of us realized how much I needed to hear those words. We don't say them often, it doesn't come naturally to either of us, it's usually just implied in the ways we support each other, but maybe we should be saying the words more often. "I love you too."

“So, what am I supposed to do?” I ask as we step apart and start walking again. 

“Do you want to be with him?”

“Yes.”

“Then go talk to him. And be honest.”

“What if it’s too late?”

“Then I’ll be here for you. But there’s only one way to find out.”

Prev // Deja vu // Next

[liannelara-dracula]

Can you make a part 2 prompt about the Sakamaki " What their family is like, like the household and number of kids." And i love your work

Hi Love,

Sure! I included everyone else I didn't in the other post here. And thank you! I know this was originally for scarfical bride prompt but sense the Mukami one was done in a different setting, this one will be just like it. If you want the dark setting just send in the request.

-Liannelara

M bros version -> post

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Diaboys Household and Kids Hcs

Shu:

Family + Background:

Marriage isn't the biggest thing to him but it will come around eventually.

He seems like he'd take things slow but because he's real into you, he speeds into things.

So it might be faster than you'd expect.

I don't think anyone has ever seen him get this way so everyone would become very aware of this change in behavior.

He if he comes to the point of being "in love" then he'd decided to move away from his brothers and family because he doesn't want them involved.

He finds it best to have them be seperate.

However, with the influence of woman that he loves he may be inclined to take responsibility and take care of Vampire Kingdom.

So he may infact have you move into the demon world which puts himself at a distance with his brothers.

But more than likely, given that he is rather selfish its more practical that he'd leave such a tolling responsibility on someone like his brother Reiji to take care of.

Shu would take the job of being a politician like his father did in the human world as an image in order to blend in society.

its quite easy is all is handed down to you.

He'd be quiet lousy tho and make his familiars do everything.

Never tells his kids anything about his family.

Number of kids:

Two kids, one boy, one girl. And believe me, it is enough for him.

Probably only a year or two apart.

I think the kids really made him get his act together and not be an apathetic teen.

I mean already to care for someone truly he isn't going to be his lazy self because has something to look forward to which is something he's been stripped from for the longest time.

I think children would change him if the woman he has them with is someone he cares for.

Household:

There isn't much to say.

When he met you and had kids, he became more active, moved out, and started a life with you.

He moved to somewhere relaxing away from everything, and you two have a girl and boy, so you have a perfect family.

Sometimes you have to nudge him to not be freaking lazy.

He is a lazy father, but surprisingly he does things, but only cause he cares.

Loves talking to his kids about their interests and how they have a lot of opportunity and time to be free of responsibility.

He's mostly carefree and leaves the work of disciplining them to you.

"I'm too tired, you can be Reiji."

"Shu!"

Reiji:

Family + Background:

Would be the first to move away from his brothers.

For a while, you stayed with him, but after a while, you both thought about living away from his family, given everything.

He'd mainly leave if they posed as a threat, which realistically, they do.

And given he wants the best for his lady, he'd move away in a heartbeat. which

In fact, in one of the games, he moved out and picked a house for him and Yui to live in because he wanted to "start a life with her."

And you could imagine he obviously proposed first because he's very old fashioned.

It was one night you both had come home from a ball and removed your jewelry in front of your mirror.

He came up behind you planting kisses on your shoulder and up your neck, all the once while you were distracted he slipped a ring on your finger and spoke in a low voice, "Marry me, Y/n."

"Reiji?"

"Say that you'll be my bride." He'd whisper, kissing you on the lips.

I will hint at the fact that there were times where he did tease you about getting married.

"I don't understand what you're asking me."

"Woman, I am asking you to be my bride, is it not obvious?"

"Are you being serious?"

"Silly girl, do you think I'd ask you like this? I needed you to stop crying this was the only way . . . full discourse, I would have asked much differently, my dear." He grinned, amused by your reaction.

"You shouldn't mess with me like that!" You scoffed.

"Oh no? You're quite charming when confused."

Number of kids:

You two had a wonderful little girl, and boy, the boy came first. And Reiji wouldn't be opposed to another child. Preferably another daughter.

Which is probably along the way or in his plans, knowing him.

After three I would say he is quite complete.

Reiji sometimes hints at a another child being a possibility for the two of you.

"There's always been room for another, my dear."

"Are you saying we should have another?"

"Perhaps." He'd smirk.

Household:

The most sophisticated and elegant family.

Anyone would deem you all as greatly intelligent and stunning.

Seriously, this is a family filled with good looks, so you are both well known for your children's success and strong resemblance to you both.

With Reiji, you both decided to have a place of your own and start a family, which is exactly what happened.

You two moved far away from his brothers and bought an elegant home.

Reiji planned out what street he'd want to live on, the house in particular, and if it had a special aspect of the interior which you once brought up. He'd make sure the house would have that view or courtyard you had mentioned, or that wide window you loved looking out of.

But that is something you love about him; he plans for things he cares for.

He is great at helping you with the kids, and you leave educating, and cooking to him because you know how he feels about it.

Although you try to help, he will argue with you sometimes, mostly about harmless things.

But when it comes to disciplining your kids, it can be a war of disagreement, especially because he lets his daughter get away with things, and he is harder on his son.

So this requires you to intervene all the time.

Though it is cute to see older Reiji and little Reiji argue.

But it's even cuter to see them work together.

Laito:

Family + Background:

Didn't give making a family so much of a thought. It was not on his agenda.

So he didn't think about moving out or anything.

The only thing that changed him about it was you both having a child unexpectedly.

At first, it seemed surreal, but the more he saw his stomach grow in the process, he started to think about it and soon realized it wasn't a dream.

It was very real, and he needed to be ready.

He was involved; he just didn't know what all of it was going to be/look like.

So it took some time, but he was interested and was happy to be a father because he actually loved this woman.

Although even if he had kids with a bride, he would enthusiastic about it because I think he is fascinated by it, but he later loses interest as well.

But because he is attached to his partner, it is much different. He is quite moved and is eager to see the child.

If he is worried about his father or someone else being a threat, he'll move away.

But knowing Laito, he will probably just stay with his family since there technically is enough room. But he does leave that decision up to you.

Number of kids:

He'd have two twin girls and then another little girl. So three little girls.

I don't think he really wanted a boy because he's had enough boys in the family.

Plus, I think it may have to do with trauma reasons that he doesn't want to have a son.

I also think he'd have a stronger attachment to a daughter then he would a son.

I'm so betting that the girls all have ginger hair, or that each one looks like him or one of his full blood-related brothers because genes work in mysterious ways, you know.

Plus, I think that would be interesting to see

Household:

A fun family with a chaotic bunch of three girlies.

It can be a handful since they are very close in age.

But you two make the most of it.

In terms of living in the human or demon world, he'd probably live in the human world just cause his father is usually in the demon world.

Kanato:

Family + Background:

This wasn't easy, and it was definitely unexpected.

Although, with someone he loves, he'd put everything aside and be soft with you.

This is actually something he really likes.

It would definitely move away as soon as the child was born.

He'd take no chances and have you live with his family.

After all no one paid much attention to him in the first place why should he stay?

He'd leave in heartbeat and travel around with you to find the perfect home for just the two of you, which would soon be the three of you.

He mostly made the plans because he liked surprising you.

Number of kids:

You'd have just one. He couldn't imagine putting you through that again.

As much he loved seeing you go through your pregnancy, he didn't want you to go through all the pain that comes with labor.

It would be a baby girl, for sure. Seeing him be gentle with a daughter would be so adorable.

especially because he'd sew her dresses.

Household:

A quiet and small family, but its all the two of you could ask for.

It means a lot to both of you to watch your daughter grow.

He wants the best for both of the women he loves in his life.

Is quite protective of you both and makes sure his family is not included in one single conversation.

Ayato:

Family + Background:

He hasn't figured out anything.

And he was a nervous wreck at first

Now he just kinda chills around.

Never really knows what the next plan is.

It would take his brothers to get him to think about it.

He'd also need your input on this to figure it all out.

eventually he'd come to the idea where you both would stay at the mansion. That is until too many kids came into the second picture.

Number of kids:

About three to four (mostly boys), with the second kid, his brothers told him he needed to get it together and move out lol.

so he did, because the fam was just getting too big he needed his own place with you and after some searching and planning you got it to work and moved out.

Although he does visit his bros still.

Household:

It's chaotic, especially if he is taking care of the kids.

He has a lot to learn, but he is fun.

He gets them into sports and is a kid himself.

You constantly call to make sure nothing crazy happens.

Subaru:

Family + Background:

You both would find your own place and definitely wouldn't stay with his brothers.

He'd want to be away from his family.

It's mostly cause he doesn't really like them.

And he wants it to be far from them.

And honestly just isolated from people.

Number of kids:

You had your own place by this point so it wasn't a big deal.

He'd probably really only want one at the most. (a girl)

He doesn't want a big family, I mean he can hardly see himself being a good father to one, let alone many.

Household:

It's quiet and small, but it's a good thing.

You both are able to raise your kid calmly if you have one.

you rely on each other, and that's about it.

Kino:

Family + Background:

Similar to Ayato, he would definitely not be sure of what he wants to do. He probably just does whatever you want to do since he doesn't really care.

Is more of a go-with-the-flow type, and kinda handles stuff last minute.

You are probably doing most of the thinking.

He didn't even think about family or getting his own place with you; he's just not focused on it.

Number of kids:

one because he counts as another kid.

It is boy for sure because he needed a buddy to keep himself busy and not to always bug you, lol.

He is so chaotic and teaches his son so many pranks and its just messed up.

Household:

Its a mess, you constantly have to worry about both of them.

Its a like a second kid and you just get so annoyed at Kino sometimes.

But he does keep the kid busy and learns a lot.

He gets better with more experience but he's also just all over the place.

One thing he got his kid into is gaming for sure.

Carla:

Family + Background:

He told you to stay in the castle with him and his brother since it is big and there is plenty of room.

He does think about if you will have kids, after he's married you.

Carla asked you to stay with him and build a life with him.

"I want to be the reason I stay, Y/n. Be with me."

this man

He has many plans, some to which he shares, others of which he is still unsure of.

It was quite peaceful for a while, though.

Number of kids:

Once you had kids, probably one boy or two girls.

Though he wants an heir, he definitely would love to have a daughter.

He'd have so much planned for his kids, and he was happy to have them with you.

It's probably the happiest he's ever been.

Household:

You are still at the mansion since there is plenty of room.

A lovely and quiet family but also classy.

Your children have both of your looks.

The boy would be like Carla's twin.

The girls would have some key features of his.

Spoils his kids for sure.

He is also proud of his family and you as his wife.

And he protects his family from anything.

Shin:

Family + Background:

He didn't plan too much in the beginning.

After marrying, he planned much more about the family he wanted and how he wanted to spend his life with you.

It's something he has thought of for a long time.

Number of kids:

You thought you were going to have two boys and that was it but you ended up with four instead.

It’s entirely his fault he said you wouldn’t get pregnant anymore.

But those wolf genes you know they seem to be prominent

If you were upset about being pregnant he’d find it a little cute. “This is ridiculous I don’t want another child. You said I wouldn’t be able to have another child.”

“What’s the matter, love. I thought you liked having children?” He’d ask amused.

“I love them—Omg you did this on purpose! Last month—“

He’d smirk, “in forest, yes.”

“I cannot believe you. You lied.”

“I didn’t lie to you, love. I said having more children might be rare because most in my family don’t have more than two.”

“I thought we agreed on not having more.”

“What can I say, I was curious to know.”

“Shin!”

“Oh c’mon, love, you where enjoying yourself, why should I have stopped.”

“Shut up!”

Household:

A full house, granted there are six of you so it is exhausting to keep up.

And Shin's son's are a total handful.

He does keep them busy and intertained.

You tell him not use powers until they are old enough though.

It takes a while for Shin to get used to it but he is fond of his kids.

I mean he's always wanted to procreate so I guess you could say his wish came true.

He loves that he has built a family with you and like his brother is going to protect it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[notmorbid]

model home.

dialogue prompts from model home: a novel by rivers solomon.

i don't want nothing to do with you right now.

want some company?

abuse of power surprises me every time, actually.

knowledge has never saved anyone.

this house lures in animals with a death wish.

my god, what would the neighbors think?

every day, everyone is a hundred different people.

i don't even know what i need to be ready for.

should i be worried?

you're not going to post that, are you?

the kids who grow up fine do so because of us or despite us.

what's the point of gated communities? the bad people are already inside. this is their fort.

is it me who haunts? me who is the ghost?

i cannot say everything. cannot tell the whole truth.

to look yourself in the eye and face up to what you've done is not a task you can survive. not when you've done the things i have.

i am always playing hide and seek with my own damn self.

when you see something you want, get it. why ask questions, you know?

a house like ours gives scars. people ask about them.

i always want to fuck people who aren't immediately available to me.

i'm not interested in people once the spark of newness has faded.

our neighborhood is a demon, and our house is its belly. digesting us.

be quiet, for once in your damn life.

who is it you're looking for?

i'm not a person. i'm a place where bad things happen.

you know i don't bullshit. not to anyone.

why does it matter what i think?

it's stupid to run from pain instead of to it. pain always comes.

what's it feel like inside your body right now?

the world doesn't make a lick of sense, does it?

it hasn't hit me yet, i don't think.

it makes me tired seeing how good your life is.

the central tenet of my parenting philosophy is not saying what mama would say.

you'll learn when you're ready.

if i don't show them who i am, they can't disapprove.

you're not a real person. you're a paper doll.

what happened to us being family?

how jarring, the different versions of events we all have.

come to bed. i'll even let you be little spoon.

i need you to shut the fuck up.

i am trying to find the beauty here. the appeal.

please pretend i didn't say that. that's not who i am.

i know the pain of realizing what you're capable of.

you aren't gonna be okay. you know that, right?

i was never going to be okay.

maybe you shouldn't be alone right now.

fucked up recognizes fucked up.

i don't know if there's a distinction between self harm and self pleasure, for me.

do you think god is a horse girl, or a wolf girl?

how will it look, if we try to hide the evidence?

my body knows things before i do.

you said you missed me. here i am.

who sees beauty and does not want to experience it?

parents atone for their personal lacks by punishing their offspring.

teenagers aren't interested in being with their families. right?

don't get involved in grown folks' business.

you should probably be on antidepressants or something.

the first step of an american mall adventure is getting your ears badly pierced at claire's.

i made all your favorites.

do you not think your experiences were particularly extreme?

i can't really live because i don't let things die.

i have learned to close my eyes against the world.

you can't help me. no one can.

if it's not my fault, there's truly not a thing i can do.

i'm only an animal, not a god.

get your shit and get out.

it's not your job to ask questions. it's your job to do what you're told.

we can reproduce only what we know.

straight up, there is bad juju afoot.

a death in the family is torture for the control freak.

we need to tell somebody.

don't you want to live somewhere else?

what happens to us matters. otherwise, what tethers us to the living?

the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but it also gets the beating.

how can you know, beyond a doubt, what's right?

'a family matter' is a phrase used to protect abuse.

the world doesn't make sense. why should we?

i'm tired of being the bad guy.

i need you to try to remember what you did.

believe me. please. please believe me.

there is no such thing as 'never again'.

money? that shit rots your fucking brain.

so much of what we speak is our attempt to make our fantasies real.

it isn't easy to leave your home, even when that home terrorizes you.

psychological cages are real cages.

you're shaking. please talk to me.

old problems require old solutions.

'perfect' is the enemy of 'good'.

my mind likes to play tricks on me. new ways every day.

i always expect nights like this to be quiet.

the darkness hides us as much as it hides the ghosts.

so much of you is an image you're constructing.

i can't tell the difference between grief and ghosts. both seize the body and take what they will.

i was starting to believe that maybe i made it all up.

i wish i knew how to help you. can you tell me?

is that what you think it is? a story i tell myself?

every feeling to me is a funny feeling.

can i hug you? would that be alright?

i didn't want to disturb you. you looked very studious.

your heart is so big. it's the biggest thing i've ever seen.

maybe there is no saving, only salvaging.

[sunsetberry]

JEALOUS Osamu Miya x reader {nsfw}

CONTENT WARNING: jealous osamu, slight implications at atsumu x reader if you squint super hard, nsfw, degrading, rough?? semi-public, bathroom sex, fem!reader,

WORD COUNT: 0.8k

Today you had just pissed off Osamu one too many times. Typically he's quite a patient man, considering he grew up with Atsumu he kinda had to be.

He loved that you and his twin brother got along, but you two got along a bit too well. Always matching each others energy, so if he thought Atsumu was a lot to deal with, you were basically just the girl version of him.

Whenever you, Osamu and Atsumu hang out, you and Atsumu would gang up on Osamu. Always teasing him, giggling like little kids at the most stupidest of stuff, and also saying the most stupidest of stuff.

You had decided to visit Osamu at practise just to say hi to him and the team, and you also had some gossip to tell Atsumu. You quickly said hi to everyone and gave Osamu a quick peck on the cheek before running off to a corner with Atsumu to giggle and gossip.

Osamu was already having a pretty bad day considering he failed a test that he really wanted to pass. On top of that he was beyond tired from dealing with Atsumu all day, and now that the two of you have joint forces once again? Osamu was praying for the day to be over already.

He looked over to where you and Atsumu were, and you guys looked like a couple from afar, well you didn't, but in Osamu's head you guys were too close for comfort. He walked over to where you and Atsumu were sat giggling, and yanked you too your feet, "Sorry bro, but I've got to talk to her about something." And without waiting for an answer he walked off with you.

"Osamu let me go! I was in the middle of talking y'know!" You said angerly, trailing behind him against your will. He tugged you into the boys bathroom, kicking a stall open and shoving (gently) you in.

"What are we doing here Osamu?" You ask, and he doesn't say anything besides locking the door and turning to look at you,

"Bend over." He says as if it's the most casual thing ever,

"What? You haven't told me what we're doing here and that's the first thing you say to me?" You state, clearly annoyed that he had dragged you away from your conversation. Seeing as how you didn't do as he asked, he takes matters into his own hand's.

He spins you around and bends you over, your hands fly to the wall to steady yourself.

"You seem to really like Atsumu, hm?" He says, more to himself then anything else, and you choose not answer as he flips your skirt up, wasting no time to push your panties to the side.

"Think you need prep?" He asks and you shake your head.

"Words baby, I need words." He says, not wanting to do anything without you verbally consenting.

"Don't need it." You say as you wiggle your hips in anticipation.

"Tch so needy, what's got you all worked up, Atsumu?" He states as he slides his shorts and boxers down, just enough to free his already very hard cock.

"That's what this is about?" You ask annoyedly, but before you can continue he shoves his length inside you, bottoming out immediately.

"Your such a slut you know that? Getting turned on by my own twin brother." He says as he starts a fast pace.

"Your such a d-dick, it isn't anything to do with h-him!" You struggle to speak, moans interrupting every 5 seconds.

"I'm the dick? I wasn't throwing myself onto other people right infront of my boyfriend." He scoffs, still maintaining the fast pace. You let out a moan at his words, knowing it wasn't true and he was just being irrational.

He quickly gets you both to the edge, thrusting quicker than ever.

"You gonna cum baby?" He mumbles as he sucks a hickey into your neck, clearly claiming you as his. You let out a whine and nod. He lowers his fingers down to your clit and using his index and middle finger, he starts rubbing, eager to get you to cum.

"Go on, cum on my dick baby, I know you want too." As he utters the last words you cum all over his dick, just as he asked. Feeling you tighten around him sends him over the edge. He still doesn't slow down, fucking you both through your orgasms.

As you both come down from the high, he pulls out and grabs some toilet paper, cleaning you both up. He puts your panties back in place and flips your skirt back down. As he finishes cleaning himself up he pulls his shorts and boxers back up.

He turns you around to face him and gives you a kiss.

As you both walk back into the gym hall, Suna just smirks at you two, clearly knowing what happened, but Atsumu, ever so obvious is just eager to talk with you again, resuming your previous conversation.

You don't see it but Osamu smirks as you walk over to Atsumu, having a small limp in your step.

AN: my fav school tbh. i love the twins so much! this was just a random thirst because i cant sleep and its nearly 6am, so im sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, but other than that i hope you enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing this! ♡

[skullcfusher]

When u tlked about the toby n kate HCs u gave us Kate angst HCs do u have any toby angst HCS I'm obsessed w sibling relationship kate toby its the best 100 percent

Ok I tried typing out a huge thing but it's not letting me post that SOOO you're getting the short version, if anyone is interested in a long version dm me or smth idk BUT here they are

Toby struggles like crazy with masculinity, vulnerability and authority figures, between his father smacking him around and verbally abusing him, the bullies not only at school when he was there but actually trailing to his neighborhood and any time they could find him and all of the neighbors and older folk who saw what was happening but stayed silent, he felt crazy weak, especially when most of the things Frank said to him were always related to him not being man enough in some way, and it didn't help that Toby was a scrawny boy because food was hard to come by, it's not like he was starving by any means but they were kinda just getting by. This follows into his proxy life, always having to be stronger than everyone else in the room, killing people in horrific ways to show his strength and pushing himself to an extent to show that no one should fuck with him. Toby was born into a dog eat dog world but now the point he's at, all of the other dogs aren't hungry but he's still eating even if he's full. No one is trying to hurt him, don't get me wrong not a whole lot of creeps like him all that much but no one is looking to hurt him, but he can't fathom that. He has to fight, no matter how tired he is of fighting, he just doesn't recognize a world outside of that and it scares him. The only being he can't fight is slender, he's horrified of slender because slender has the capability to make that boy feel pain, not in the sense he can just flip the switch and he feels everything now but he can give Toby the most earth shattering, mouth frothing, skin peeling headaches. It's not just some small shit, Toby's feeling throat curdling pain for the first time, if feels like he's burying his own axe into his head. Punishment is bad for all proxies, but this shit is really new to Toby, Tim and Brian usually have to leave when Toby goes under cause they can't stand to hear him when he screams and thrashes he doesn't just fall to the ground and scream either he bites and rips his skin off and throws shit and gets fuckin crazy, Kate tries to stay and comfort but Toby pushes her away, he can't let her take care of him like that he's supposed to be able to handle it how can he not be able to handle something the rest can

Ok that's all for now I think, just cause I'm trying to make it short but if u want more or have any questions or even requests for other creeps I'm SOOOO OPEN I love answering shit

[anulithots]

I got to chapter 236.

And maybe I'm finally getting closer to fully analyzing Gojo. Because.. this made a lot of sense of his character actually, and to me it does not seem out of character for him to seem 'less caring for his students' compared to empathizing with the king of curses himself.

I think that Gojo drew the line after Riko's death, because meeting Geto was the first time he allowed himself to be anyone but just 'the strongest'. He had fun and joked around and enjoyed himself.

But... the confidence given to him as 'the strongest' was taken from him. He wasn't strong enough to defeat Toji. So he doubled down on making himself stronger, and fought with a crazy streak.

From here on out, he was simply 'a living creature'. I'd even go as far as to say that he never let himself get as close to anyone as he did with Geto and Riko. He would love them, he does love them, but he had to 'draw his line', lest the same thing happen again. If he isn't the strongest for one moment, people he cares about die.

He couldn't allow himself to be around Geto as much. He needed to be stronger.

After Geto left, Gojo says he can only save those who want to be saved.... and I think that was Gojo's motive from then on out. (Like when he talks to Megumi about being selfish, he doesn't say anything until Megumi asks to be trained.) Because he couldn't save his best friend. He couldn't save anyone that mattered. Not even as the strongest, not even after he isolated himself to be the strongest.

Gojo portrayed himself as the strongest, the one who would handle everything and no one would see him as human. He wasn't human. He loved them, but he kept his distance. He'd protect them. But he'd keep his distance.

He'd make sure that everyone else could be strong enough to protect themselves without experiencing his loneliness.

Because the corrupt system makes it so. If you're strong, then you are lonely. If you aren't strong, then you'll still die alone.

Gojo's going to do everything he can to give them companionship and happiness... and the strength to protect themselves from the system.

Because he could only have one or the other. And he chose strength because... he was the strongest after all.

Gojo himself doesn't see himself as anyone but the strongest. The moment he allowed himself to have friends, they were taken from him, so he went back to being the lonely sorcerer he once was, regretting everything that happened.

In this way, he mirrors Itadori:

Gojo does regret the way he's lived.

I don't think Nanami would honestly say this. He may say something along these lines, but he wouldn't say it like this.

This, I think, is Gojo's perception of what others think of him. Because he doesn't do it just to satisfy himself, if that were the case, then he wouldn't have been a teacher or done all he did to protect his students (to the point where the moment he was sealed a lot of people got screwed over)

The only one who understood Gojo was Geto, but as @ellionwrites pointed out in this post, Geto left with the words of 'are you just 'the strongest'?

And to Gojo, it's almost like there's no hope for him now. He's the strongest, but what power does that give him really? In this society? He 'gave it his all' and in return he only got solitude from everyone else, who thought of Gojo as above them.

The only solution he can think of is:

Fix society so that way no one is alone anymore.

(not that Gojo himself would be alleviated from his loneliness...

One last thing:

Gojo might've lived with regrets, but he didn't die with them.

... sorry for rambling! Really tired right now. I'll try to make a condensed version of Gojo's character like I did for pre-shibuya Itadori soon.

@justrustandstardust @lmskitty @bygeto

[ladysternchen]

From the Book of Lost Tales to the Silmarillion and further- the rounding off of a character

I'm sweetly going to ignore my half-finished character headcanon/character study-series and write this character study of Elu Thingol and associated character here anew.

And no, I'm not only picking Elu here because he's my favourite and I need to push his defence-agenda, I pick him because he is quite a beautiful example of character development and how characters tend to not do what their creators want them to do (and yes, speaking as a fanfiction-author who borrows him regularly, Elu is a VERY talkative character). Also, he is quite an old character within the Legendarium, and one whose influence is woven throughout Tolkien's works- in other words, Elu Thingol never truly left Tolkien.

I would need a little more time (thanks, kids!) to do some proper research here, to really look up where the concept of him appears first, whether it is in the Book of Lost Tales I as "Linwë Tinto, King of the pipers" who stumbled across the "lonely twilight spirit Wendelin" and danced with her forever beneath the beeches, with only their children Tinúviel and Tinfang Warble later returning amongst the Eldar, or really as Tinwelint in the earliest versions of the 'Tale of Tinúviel", or when these two characters became one in Tolkien's mind.

In both cases, he was a trope. The prince who stumbles across the fairy queen in the woods and is lost (a tale as old as storytelling itself and present in many many cultures- the tale of Tam Lin is just one of them), the king who opposes the marriage of his only daughter (a trope even older than the lost prince, and appearing just about every fairy tale). Not much explaining needed with the latter, the former, however, is more interesting. Because Tolkien, apparently sick and tired with the Fairy Queen always being evil and snatching the prince away from the world, created a Fairy that is good, and a relationship that is not toxic, but one of true and honest love. (Yes, I know there are other interpretations out there, but sorry, this is openly contradicting canon).

Now, there is not much development in the relationship between Elu Thingol and Melian, despite the fact that they do return among the Elves in all but this earliest version, so that part of his character did not really need developing (Elu Thingol the mosterfucker, established. No no, I never said that). Other parts did.

One of the most irksome experiences a writer can make are characters that crawl out of your manuscripts (they all do that, sooner or later. Writers only don't talk about it because everyone thinks them crazy if they do) and side-eye what you've written about them.

"No, that is not me, re-write that!"

Sigh. Some solid advice, if you can, do what they tell you. You need them more than they need you. But with tropes, especially tropes you want and need, that gets difficult. So what does a writer do then? Exactly, they apologise. Telling how much the character is loved by everyone, how they are 'the greatest amongst the Eldar safe for Fëanor alone'. In Elu Thingol's case, this creates this weird situation where the story tells us one thing, while it shows us another. We are told that he was a great king, but what we see of him is... something different. That's unsatisfying, for everyone involved. And that is when characters stay on your mind forever.

There is, of course, a much more scientific explanation for the way Tolkien wrote Elu Thingol than talkative characters- and that is one that is rather obvious to me, but I've truly never seen it expressed anywhere else. You see, a marriage being prevented by an overprotective father is a trope, but it is also a very real experience Tolkien himself made- only that it was his legal guardian rather than Edith's who opposed their relationship. Now, there is no evidence for what I write next, but it is very hard to believe that Tolkien would not write some of his resentment over Father Francis' refusal to allow their relationship into the Tale of Tinúviel- especially since we know that it was Edith herself who was his inspiration for Lúthien. Only the resentment didn't last. Eventually, John Ronald and Edith were wed, with the blessings (although not with the whole-hearted approval) of Francis Morgan, and Father Francis would later even baptise the Tolkiens' first son, who was respectively named after him.

I think it would be going too far to call Father Francis Morgan the inspiration for Elu Thingol as Edith was for Lúthien, but I think Tolkien's own relationship with his legal guardian and only father-figure he had ever known did influence the forming of that character, and certainly not least the respect that Beren almost always shows Elu Thingol- insisting on fulfilling his quest, wanting to return Lúthien to Doriath rather than living with her in the wild, even calming a very angry Lúthien down when she snaps at her father upon their return to Menegroth. Beren later even goes on to not only save his father-in-law's life (WHY, Beren? You blithering idiot!) at the expense of his own, he also goes to war one last time to revenge his murder.

Another really interesting thing is the way Tolkien wrote Elu Thingol in "The Children of Húrin". It almost seems a little out-of-character in contrast to the rest of the Silmarillion, but I really don't think so. I think this is the real King Thingol, the one who was so loved by his people and his family. Why? Well, Tolkien did get much more mellow in his writings as he grew older. The 'Book of Lost Tales' is still written in a very lyrical and archaic style, with the characters being much more self-centred and pompous than in his later works. That accounts for many characters becoming much more likeable, and Elu Thingol is no exception to that. Tinwelint is a much more difficult character than Elu Thingol is. But the 'Children of Húrin' are an old tale, a very old one. And that is at least worthy of notice.

That leaves us with the two last bits that have to come together to complete the character that we today know as Elu Thingol - and that is his death, and his youth.

It is very telling in my opinion that Tolkien himself never found a satisfactory ending to this character. He knew he had to die undefeated by Morgoth (and that truly is an honour shown), and also that he had to die at the hands of the Dwarves without the Dwarves being altogether in the wrong, sparking the conflict that was essential in both the 'Hobbit' and the 'Lord of the Rings'.

Tolkien did write one version that can be read in the 'Book of Lost Tales II', one which he later disregarded and openly disliked (thank God. It took me months and months to get over the beheading 🤮). In that version, both the Dwarves and Elu play VERY dirty indeed, and are driven by nothing more than greed. It's quite disgusting.

Christopher Tolkien and Guy Kay later had to piece together and write anew the 'Ruin of Doriath', and all in all, they did a remarkable job, creating a chapter in which no-one really loses their honour altogether, at least not before their respective people. But there are nonetheless issues. For one, trying to incorporate as much of the original texts as possible, they put the infamous 'uncouth race' in there, a quote that stems from earlier writings (in which language like that was normal) and of which I heartily wish that it hadn't found its way into the published Silmarillion. Not because I want my fave to be better than he is, but because it paves the way to a discussion that I really feels has no room within this very story. No, I still believe that Elu Thingol was never meant to be racist. Why? Because even if you want to see the different species of humanoids in Middle-Earth as an allegory for different human peoples, the fact remains that apart from that last insult, he did not act the racist at all. He greeted and had dealings with the Dwarves for a millennium before that fateful day. He let Haleth and her people life as a free people on his lands. They did never call him their lord, but had his protection when needed. Yes, it was Finrod who persuaded him to do that, but it was still Elu Thingol who granted them Brethil. And I want to stress the point here that the people of Haleth were the only tribe of Men who lived as free people, not as the liegemen of an Elf-lord. Yes, he was very suspicious at first towards Men, but I hate to say it, history proved him very very right. Both within the Legendarium and real life. And he came around. He took Beren as his son-in-law and honoured him, he took in Túrin and loved him like his son, he treated Morwen and Níenor with nothing but the highest respect. No, sorry, that are not the actions of someone who believes himself and his kind worth more than others. Were it not for that accursed insult at the very end.

The other thing I really would have loved to have in the published version of the 'Ruin of Doriath' is the reactions and relationships all around. You get but a little of the grief and despair of Melian in the published version. And I personally am so sad that the relationship between Mablung and Elu got cut so short. I love that they die side by side as friends in the original text. But yeah, that's just me. I have a thing with those two.

That now leaves us with the final changes Tolkien made to the character- making him also Elwë, the ambassador, the best friend of Finwë (and Finwë's voice of reason). I love how Finwë, fiery as he is (*cough* ADHD is heritable *cough*), listens to the lies of Morgoth, while Elwë, ever the cautious one, does not. And I also love how Tolkien puts the same words in Elwë's mouth that he will let Aragorn say an eternity later "I can but choose for myself, and all my people shall do likewise".

And that is pretty solid advice, actually.

@silmarillionwritersguild