#//I think I'm trigger warning War's letter because

[unboundwanderers]

@kemikorosu sent in: ✍️ || APOLOGY LETTER MEME || ACCEPTING

               LUMINE,

               At the current time I'm writing this, a lot has occurred since I left you. I figured, that if I'd survived the final day- I'll have gotten around to sending you this letter, sooner rather than later. It's much easier to write out here, so I'll tell you... when I left you, I was on my way to destroy my people. If you're reading this, it means I've done what I have to do. If The Doctor is still out galavanting across the stars, and you're not with him- I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do... but I think I understand why he chose that.

               I am not writing this letter to speak for The Next man who comes after me. I understand my role, as a soldier. That's all I'd like to write this letter as, the Soldier who fought with you. What I will say, is that The Doctor is ashamed of me and ashamed of himself. That is why he has not returned because he's in pain- and until he conquers that pain, he won't be able to face you. I know it's hypocritical for me to say that I won't speak for The Doctor, only to speak for him- but I felt the need to explain his actions- I cannot say for certain how long it will take him to face you.

               I was under the impression that the goodbye we shared was truly goodbye- and for you, it probably was- but for me... I fell through a pocket of time. Moments before the end of The War, I was sent through to a pocket universe, a mirror one. I told you about my mission for timelords when you were left in their custody on Gallifrey. They had sent me to another pocket universe. What I neglected to mention was that I had encountered your doppelganger. She was in a position similar to your brother, ruling over the abyss. It brought me great pain to see that woman in that position,

               That's where I've been stranded, but at the time of writing this- I am trying to get back home... to finish what I started, to end the war... once and for all. However, it has proven quite difficult. I have been blasted back to a point in time before The Time War started, and in this universe... I am on my own. There are no timelords, and while there are Daleks, they aren't as advanced nor are they as powerful... but the forces they command are certainly overwhelming, as is much in this universe. I conclude that when I return to the war, on my side of the wall- in our universe... that destroying the nexus of the war should restore any and all damages in this universe.

               I was just... well. I'm writing this because I'm scared. I'm scared of what I have to do. For once, I consider the possibility that I might meet my end... and fear arises because I feel as if that's something I want... that living might be more intense than dying. However, I know in my heart of hearts... that what I'm doing is right. If I don't, I'll let all the people we fought with, the people who died with us... you... I'll let them all down. I can't do that, I can't give up. Not here, not now. I have to do the right thing, even at the cost of what I fear most.

               I wanted to tell you that the time I spent with you during the war was one of the happiest moments of my life. Throughout this incarnation's life- I have felt that my only purpose is to fight and die for someone else. I am a soldier, through and through- but whenever you brought me up, well... I truly felt like The Doctor again, even if I said I wasn't. You brought that out in me, and now- I have to do what I think The Doctor would do. I know that I am not him, but I stand by this choice. Something was said to me, recently- Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame. Fighting with you with a privilege, an honor. You are the brightest star in the universe.

                                                                                                                              The Doctor.

               THE WINDBLUME FESTIVAL... He'd stopped by, wearing a denim jacket, wool mittens, jeans, and high-top sneakers. With shaggy brown hair and young eyes. He stood by the statue of Barbatos, POLICE BOX parked not too far away from it. Flowers and offerings were given out during this ceremony... and THE DOCTOR found himself looking up at the sky for a moment, looking for shooting stars past the daytime blue sky. He inhaled deeply, pulling something out of his jacket pocket.

               The Apology letter. He looked down at it and knelt down on the ground, leaving it upon the pile of windblume flowers that had posed as offerings for the god Barbatos. He then stood up and clenched the straps of his bag. He just... couldn't face her- not yet. He was still cracked from the pain, the pain of THE WAR. However, he felt a howling in his heart that demanded he finally takes the letter to her...

               So... he left it, in the home she frequented and at a place he knew there'd be a gathering. He hoped for once that the universe would do him a favor, and make sure it got to the right place. His hands slid into his jacket pocket and he exhaled softly... and that sound of THE POLICE BOX vanishing... echoed out across the wind, carried through the air... and hopefully...

Someone who'd follow it to the letter.

[hwanchaesong]

Chatoyant (Soulmate) Preview

pairing: Jay X F!Reader

synopsis: You've never believed in the braided vermillion strings that are supposedly tied in your pinky, where the other end is where you'll find your beloved. Not until you're standing in the middle of a story ridden room.

word count: tba

genre & warnings: angst, smut, fluff, warnings tba

a/n: this is a teaser for the upcoming Enhypen: Tropes & Parallels series that i've been working on. i hope y'all look forward to it. please don't hesitate to tell me if you wanted to be added to the taglist. tysm 🩷

You listened to Jay, your class representative, in boredom as he lists the do's and don'ts for your next destination. Apparently, it's some kind of history museum where millions of stories are etched on the items that are displayed there.

Certainly picked your interest, but not enough to make you excited.

"I want to go to the amusement park instead." your friend Sunghoon, who was sitting next to you muttered, to which you agreed to an extent, but hey, this is your country's archive, might as well enjoy it while you can.

You groaned and stretched your back when you got off the bus, a chuckle caught your attention so you turned with a frown, catching Jay red-handed on his attempt to cover up his amusement.

"You think this is funny? My back aching is worth the lols?" you asked in disbelief, making small talk with the man.

"You acting like an old woman is funny." he corrects, patting your shoulder in a casual manner, "Come on, let's get inside. It's too hot here."

He trudged towards the museum, leaving you there with your thoughts for a moment.

The touch felt like a zing, it's always been like that. Conversing with him was easy as a pie, skinship was rare but when it did happen, it's pure electricity. Although, you may put this in the 'I admire you type of crush' instead of overthinking things.

You shrugged, entering the building and occupying yourself with the exhibit.

It was nice, finding some statues or swords cool. Jake triggers your ijbolitis when he starts lecturing you and Sunghoon about the legend of whatever sculpture it was that caught his attention. (you have to admit, he's an adorable nerd)

Sunghoon begged you to stay, but you blew him a kiss and left him with the aussie, opting to enter a room that you haven't explored yet.

When you step foot inside though, a gush of air suddenly hits you. Which was weird, to say the least, since there are no open windows around, surely the place is airconditioned.

You sighed, brushing it off and sauntering towards the small bulletin, there you learned that the room is full of trinkets between two lovers, torned apart by the war.

A story of an empress and her general.

Then, time seemed to stop when you finally set your eyes on the largest painting hanging by the wall.

You felt a pang in your heart, especially when you saw the letters that they had exchanged. The clothes, jewelry, all of their personal belongings felt so... intimate.

It was uncanny and you dumbly stood there, thinking and staring at the art because it looks exactly like-

"It's like I'm looking right into a mirror."

A familiar voice suddenly spoke from behind and you gasped, losing your balance when you accidentally twisted your ankle in surprise, but fear not, your knight in shining armor dramatically caught you.

"Woah there," Jay peered at you with concern, "Are you okay?"

Will it be a bad decision on your part if you say that this is more than okay?

taglist

@lilyuwon @ramenoil

[stylesispunk]

The great war | Part II |

"All that bloodshed, crimson clover, sweet dream was over, my hand was the one you reached for"

part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5 | masterlist

word count: 1,9k

series summary: After things fell apart it seemed that Joel and you were falling into pieces.

series warning: angst, established relationship (complicated though) hints to cheating, age gap (Reader is in her late 20s, Joel is in his late 40s), mentions of stillborn baby, please don't read if you feel it triggers.

A/n: English is not my first language and it has been YEARS since I last wrote something that wasn't academic or formal for my job, so please forgive any mistake. (I really feel ashamed for posting a second part after the first part didn't get attention but still, I'm doing this for fun)

Joel’s world shattered at that moment. The realization of what he had done hit him. The bouquet of flowers in his hands seemed meaningless without Rhia here. 

“Ellie, I” He stammered, unable to find the right words to say.

Ellie’s eyes filled with anger and disappointment. “You better do something now”

Joel choked out, his voice breaking. “I was-I didn’t mean what I said”

“No shit” Ellie said, bitterly. 

The weight of Joel’s actions crushed him. The woman he loved ran away from him because of his own behavior and callous words. 

The only thought of her being outside the walls of Jackson, alone, frightened him. 

“I need to find her,” he said, desperation in his voice. 

“I’m coming with you” Ellie stood up, ready to go

“No.

“I’m not asking you” She spoke determined “Besides I’m the one that will be saving you from having your ass kicked once I we found her”

Joel looked at Ellie, his instinct was to protect her despite his admiration for her strength and determination. He knew he couldn’t change her mind. 

“Okay,” Joel gave “But you do what I say. Understood?

Ellie grinned “Deal,” she said.

Joel found Tommy on the outskirts of Jackson, repairing some equipment along with other members. Tommy looked up as Joel approached, concern all over his face.

“Joe, what’s going on?” Tommy asked.

“Rhia” Joes took a deep breath. “She left. I have to find her.”

Tommy’s eyes widened, taking the information “Left? When?”

“She left a letter” Joel replied, desperate desperately, “I can’t stay here knowing she might be outside all by herself.”

Tommy nodded, understanding

“Why did Rhia leave?”

Joel hesitated before answering “It was about Lucy”. His voice tinged with regret “And then about the baby.” 

Tommy’s eyes widened in surprise and concern. 

“I told her things I didn’t mean, Tommy. She said we were done and I left the house. - “Joel took a deep breath. “I’ve made a mistake, Tommy.”

“Go find your girl, Joel”, Tommy said gently. “But please, be careful and bring her back.” 

Joel nodded, appreciating his brother’s understanding.

Joel and Ellie left Jackson immediately. The determination to find Rhia kept them moving forward. The only thought in his mind was your gaze, how broken you looked because of him. Each second passing through the day without finding you, increased his despair. Ellie remained by his side, she didn’t say anything but she was afraid, she couldn’t shake the worry out of her mind. 

The day turned into night, and Joe pushed on, facing the guilt of drawing you away. He couldn’t shake the worry of not seeing your beautiful face again. The thought of you alone out there haunted him.

“Do you think we’ll find her, Joel?” Her voice filled with worry.

Joel looked at Ellie and reached out his hand on her shoulder. “I won’t give up on her”. He sounded determined.

Ellie nodded “We will”. She smiled in her attempt to make Joel feel better.

His decision to push you away after the loss of your child was a poor attempt to shield himself from the cruel reality of having to face that pain again. But by doing that, he caused more pain to you.

From the bottom of his heart, Joel appreciated Ellie’s support, even when she was afraid of losing Rhia. 

“I should have been there for her,” he said, his voice tinted with guilt. “I should never have shut her out, not when she needed me.” 

You looked into his eyes, the love you had for each other was undeniable.

“I don’t wanna lose you too” you whispered into his chest. 

“You won’t. I promise” 

The embrace between both of you tightened, and you found a sense of comfort and hope. 

Until it vanished. 

“You will fix this,” Ellie said determinedly. She was keeping his strength for Joel. 

As a new day arrived, Joel and Ellie discovered a trail of footprints on the snow. They followed the prints, hearts racing with expectations.

The footprints led them to a neighborhood full of abandoned houses. As they cautiously kept moving, Ellie stopped abruptly.

“Joel” Ellie said urgently, her voice breaking Joel from his thoughts. His eyes followed her gaze, and what he saw made his blood run cold. In the snow, was a path of crimson clover leading to a house in the distance.

He didn’t think. Ellie’s worry was evident in her furrowed brows and trembling lips. 

Without hesitation, she started walking towards the house but Joel stopped her. He couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to Ellie, either. 

“Get behind me” Joel called out. 

Ellie turned to face Joel, nodding. She trusted Joel’s instincts. 

“I’ll protect you” he assured her, once again.

As they approached the house, Joel’s fears intensified. Every step raised his beating heart. He tried to be careful. When he finally reached the door, he pushed it open. The chilly air enveloped him and Ellie.

Fear gnawed at Joel’s heart. 

Please Rhia, be safe. 

The first thing that caught Joel’s attention was an unconscious figure lying on the floor of what once was a living room. His heart stopped when he saw that Rhia was there. 

Ellie ran to her to check her pulse. “She is alive”. She whispered; her voice shaky with relief.

Until Joel noticed the wound on her stomach. His heart sank. Blood was staining his hands. He knew time was running out. Gently, he lifted Rhia in his arms, careful not to hurt her anymore. 

“Ellie, we need to take her back to Jackson”, Joel’s voice was urgent. 

Ellie nodded; she was speechless. He held her close, her head resting against his shoulder while focusing on getting them back to the safety of Jackson as quickly as possible. His mind was racing and he couldn’t shake the guilt he felt. He wished he could have protected her from all the pain in this world and himself.

As they approached Jackson, they were met by Tommy. He and a few guards rushed to help them. They immediately recognized Rhia’s figure in Joel’s arms and offered assistance in getting her to the infirmary.

"What happened?” Tommy asked, his voice of concern.

Joel couldn’t find the words; he was out of his mind. The woman he loved was dying in his arms. 

Tommy quickly called out Jackson's doctor, who quickly approached and attended to Rhia’s wound. Joel and Ellie stood anxiously after letting Rhia go of his arms.

As the day passed, Rhia’s condition was still stable, Joel reminded by her side. He made sure to be there for her now, after not being there when they lost their daughter. 

As he looked up, lost in his thoughts, he was startled to see Lucy standing in the doorway. 

“Hey stranger,” Lucy said, smiling softly.

Joel offered a small smile. “Hey”

Lucy took a seat next to him, her expression serious “Joel, I- I need to talk to you”. She confessed

He nodded, allowing her to continue.

Lucy took a deep breath. “I-I’m in love with you.” 

Joel’s heart sank. He cared about her, but his heart belonged to Rhia “Lucy, I- “he started, struggling to find words.

“And I know you feel the same about me” Lucy interrupted; her voice determined. “And I know you feel guilty about what happened to her-

“No. Stop there”. Joel’s expression hardened, his eyes reflecting his frustrations.

Lucy looked taken aback, her eyes widening in surprise.

“My heart belongs to Rhia”. His voice, firmly “I won’t let you come between us”

“I thought there was something between us,” she said, tears in her eyes. She couldn’t feel a surge of anger and hurt. 

“You’re wrong, Joel,” she said. “There is something between us. I feel it, and I know you do too.”

Joel’s expression hardened. “Lucy, I-I care about you, but not in that way,” he said. “I love Rhia.”

Lucy shook her head. “It’s not fair” she cried, “I’ve been there for you, Joel. I was there and she wasn’t.” But Lucy’s anger intensified, and she couldn’t help but spill out. “Is it because of what happened to your daughter, right?” Her voice broke “You pity Rhia” 

Joel’s eyes widened at Lucy’s statement “It’s not about pity”. His voice was firm “I love that woman. I’ve been in love with her since the first moment I saw her.”

Lucy’s anger mixed with heartache “What does she have that I don’t?”

“It’s not about that, Lucy”, Joel explained.

Lucy felt a pang of jealousy. She glared at Joel for the last time and left the room, angry.

Joel felt a mix of hurt and anger. What he once thought was confusing, now was a reminder of how deeply he hurt Rhia. His mind and his heart belonged to her, and only her.

After what felt like an eternity, Rhia woke up.

Ellie noticed her stirring. She leaned closer over her and a sense of relief came to her body when she finally saw Rhia’s eyes open.

“Welcome back, lady” Ellie said, a smile spreading across her face.

Rhia blinked, trying to focus on her. When she recognized Ellie, a smile graced her features, a weak one but still a smile.  Rhia seemed disoriented as Ellie told her what had happened. 

“We found you unconscious, with a wound on your stomach,” Ellie said, carefully.

“Joel?” Rhia said, her voice trembling. “Where is he?”

Ellie smiled “He is going to freak out when- “

Before she could continue, Joel’s figure appeared through the door. Ellie glanced over her shoulder to where Joel stood speechless. Ellie smiled, feeling a mix of happiness and emotions. 

Joel’s eyes turned towards Rhia; a soft smile tugged at his lips. He couldn’t hide the emotions that swirled in his heart as he approached her. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he said softly.

“You were wrong,” Rhia said, weakly.

“What,” Joel asked, confused.

“I’m not weak” She looked at him, a frown between her eyebrows. 

Ellie looked at the interaction between both of them. She could feel the tension in the air. Cutting like a knife. Rhia’s recovery was only the beginning of a broken relationship Joel would have to fix.

Despite the guilt gnawing at him, Joel smiled softly, and he reached out to hold Rhia’s hand. “You’re right,” he said when Rhia didn’t push him away “You’re the strongest woman ever.”

Rhia chuckled and her eyes shimmered at his statement.

“You hurt me,” she spoke.

“I know” Joel felt nothing but shame. “I didn’t mean it, Rhia”

  “I don’t know what you meant, Joel” Joel noticed tears in her eyes. Still, she didn’t feel the need to pull her hand away from Joel’s grasp.

Rhia took a deep breath before continuing “This doesn’t mean we are together again. I need some time to rebuild the trust between us” She looked up at him. the pout of her lips away.

Joel nodded. He understood the importance of giving her that space. 

“Rest now, Rhia. You need to focus on healing”, he advised. 

Even when he wished he could kiss away the pout of Rhia’s lips. He stood and kissed her forehead instead. He felt a mix of emotions, love, and regret. He knew how much he hurt her. With a heavy heart, Joel took a deep breath he left the room and closed the door gently, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

A/N: I'm really thinking about writing a third part for this story. I wrote these two chapters because I'm really stressed with work and I wanted to have fun trying to write something else besides lesson plans. I was also listening to the great war by taylor swift on repeat and this come up to my mind so, here we are. Thanks if you read and feel free to send me any asks or comments on this.

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Back back back again, and I don't know guys, I think we should all just totally stab Caesar! Welcome back to a new fortnight of fics that I’ve read and loved recently.

If you want to find more you can see my previous rec lists here!

15 March 2024

Are You Writing From the Heart? by  @luckshiptoshore is now complete!! Congrats Luck! Full disclosure, Luck is one of my very best friends, but that just means I know not only how much of a talented fic writer she is, but also how much of her heart and soul she poured into writing this love letter to queer storytelling, season 4 Destiel as a romcom, meta text (and subtext), and finding out who you really are when society and your upbringing is fighting against you. Castiel is a ghostwriter for L.S. Shore's Supernatural novels about Neal and his brother. Caught in a storytelling rut, Cas finds himself adding the fallen angel character of Bel...what could possible go wrong? Meanwhile at his local writing coffee shop spot, he meets the handsome stranger Dean who is an up and coming standup comedian and Supernatural fanboy. They because firm friends, but that's definitely it because Cas is straight....right?! Following these two dummies as they FAIL TO USE THEIR WORDS is a total joy, as Luck's humorous and emotional writing paired with her eye for detail is so very on point, and I'm so excited more people will finally get to read this story in full.

Baker Six by komodobits because !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot tell you how goddamn excited I was to get this email notification and finally be back in 91w world, and to witness these early stages of Dean and Cas' relationship through Dean's eyes at last. This barely needs a rec because it's THEE 91w Dean, but komodobits hasn't missed a beat in getting back inside their heads and I was once again swept away by this iconic love story against the odds. Head the trigger warnings as always, this is truly on the front lines as a medic in a war zone. Baker Six was written for the very good cause of the fandom Palestine fundraiser, in support of the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund. Please donate if you can!

Truth & despair by @shallowseeker was a recent discovery and such a fascinating read! It's set in a post-15x18 verse, but importantly it features a fun Sam narrative perspective that delights in his lens by...being a bit of an unsympathetic oblivious dummy (affectionate). I really appreciate a crunchy Sam characterisation and oooboy does this pay off. Dean is steeped in his grief for Cas, and Sam is oh so concerned. He reaches out to Mia Vallens to understand his own grieving, and that leads to him making a discovery...Dean's memories of Cas' death aren't what he claims happened. With the unwelcome reappearance of Chuck (he lost...didn't he?) and LITERAL sinkholes appearing in the fabric of the universe, can they figure out what's happening to save Cas and save the world? This wip plays with physics, theology and narrative fuckery in such intriguing ways. I can't wait to see how it wraps up in the next two chapters.

The Leap by @friendofcarlotta started reading this one when Tina reshared it on Leap Day...because of course. I'd actually read it before but it more than lived up to the reread. 'Castiel Krushnic is a police officer in Soviet-occupied East Berlin. He is also gay, in a city where that’s a dangerous thing to be. One night, he meets Dean Winchester, a mechanic from the American sector. Their mutual attraction is instant, and a convenient hookup quickly turns into a passionate love affair that defies all rules and expectations.' Meticulously researched, emotional, heartrending and thought provoking. I highly recommend taking the leap on this fic!

See you in two weeks and OMG it's @deancaspinefest time!!!! I'm so excited *clears calendar*

Tag list under the cut - let me know if you'd like to be added to be notified of future recs!

@dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

[b3anieperson]

Hey everyone, this is Chapter 3 of The Letter, you can find chapters 1 and 2 here.

Warnings under the cut

Quick warning for this chapter, there are mature themes, (Yes I'm well aware that this is Fourth Wing of all things-), that may be triggering to some.

TW: Suicidal Ideation, Grieving

I don't sleep that night. I don't attend my classes, nor do I attend dinner. Hell, I wouldn't eat if it wasn't for Emek or Helena, or any of my foster siblings. Even though I did eat, I ate small, only a few bites until Emek was content that I'd eaten enough.

Lady Burnam doesn't check in, but I'm sure she knows, because I have yet to be reprimanded for skipping my studies.

All that goes through my head is Liam. I've read through my letter book six times in the last hour, skimming through the letters I've received from Liam years ago- some of the last times I had ever spoken to my brother.

Emek has been telling me what to expect- its all mainly information of what he's gotten from Xaden and Garrick- or some other rider. I'm slumped over my letter book, my hand tracing the frailed edges of the paper.

-so Xaden hit his head on the tree in the courtyard, he's okay, but Garrick and I won't stop making fun of him.

Duke Lindell is making us all go to the Reunification Festival. We have to put on these stuffy shirts, like the ones Mom used to put us in when we'd go to dinner, do you remember those? Yeah, they're a lot like those.

I wish you could come to this one, but I don't think Lady Burnam would be willing to send us all together again. I miss you, and I'll try to ask Duke Lindell if I can get a wagon to go and see you by your birthday, gods, fifteen already, you've grown up.

Did you finally cut your hair? I know Eya was pestering you about it- you know you don't have to, I know how much you love your long hair.

I don't have much more of a letter to write, but I'll expect one back soon Sloane, I love you.

-Liam

My heart drops as it reaches the end, like it's done with every letter, like it's the last time he said goodbye. But I didn't get that. I wont ever get that.

I flip several pages and find another letter, it's from Liam. I don't know when my mind decided that it would be much more useful to pocket where my brothers letters were in the book, but it did, and I couldn't be happier.

Dear Sloane,

How are you holding up? Are you still having the nightmares you had in the cart? If you are, Garrick said Eya (I'm pretty sure that's the oldest with you, right?) Anyways, he said she knew a thing or two about getting rest, what remedies to take and whatnot.

Is your town celebrating that Navarre won the war too? There's fireworks every night here in Trivainne, and though Xaden won't admit it, I know he's not sleeping well.

Just remember that you are strong, and you're gonna be okay. I promise. I'm still here, even if Mom and Dad aren't, I'm still your big brother, and you can always talk to me.

I love you so much, Sloane. Please don't forget that and do something stupid. I love you.

-Liam

'-dont forget that and do something stupid.' I scoff. Garrick and Imogen had told me the exact same thing. I want to do the stupidest thing. I want to see Liam again.

My heart pains again, and I close the book and curl up on my side, pulling the blanket over my shoulder. It all hurts. Everything. I don't think I'll ever not hurt. To think that the aches of losing Mom and Dad just started to go away.

My eyes feel heavy, and even though I know I'll only have a nightmare, at least it's bound to be about Liam. Gods, Liam. He won't be there when I cross the Parapet. He won't be there to cheer me on as I land in the flight field at Threshing.

Fuck it. I swing my legs out to the side of the bed and shove my feet into my slippers. I make the thirty feet to the door feel like it's a hundred. I push, and it gives way.

Drinn sits in the hallway, and his eyes meet mine, "Hey Sloane, are you alright?" I nod. He doesn't push, and he brings his knees to his chest as I walk past.

I make my way down the steps and across the giant commons room, and to the glass door that leads outside. The courtyard isn't nearly as large as Aretia's was, but Trinitham House has the same structure as Riorson House. East Elsum was much more different from Tyrrendor, a whole new terrain.

Walking a ways down the road, I sit down on the swing Eya and Emek set up 3 years ago for Bryn and Kahla.

We used to have a swing like this, my dad would sit me on his knee and read me a book while my mom and Liam would grab apples from the tree to use for target practice.

I stand and look at the rope that hangs from the tree that we used to dive into the pond, we just replaced it last year, it's sturdy.

I twirl the rope in my fingers while I think.

This is the only way I can see any of them again.

Mom, Dad, Liam, Fen Riorson, Mrs. Cardulo, any of them, I will give anything to see them again.

I twirl the rope once, and make a simple but sturdy slip knot. Mom taught me how to stitch, that's one thing I'll thank her for when I see her.

I step back, and breathe. My hands are shaking heavily, but I don't care, I need to see them again. My family.

Please, Malek, take me, take me like you took them.

How did this even happen? He was so fucking strong. Xaden said Deigh was strong. How does Liam Jamison Mairi die, and his dragon, a fucking dragon, die?

More importantly, how does breakable, tiny, daughter-of-a-murderous-psychopath Sorrengail, live? Or live so she could see my brother die, then get conveniently stabbed.

Fuck I swear if she lives and I see her I'll fucking stab her right then and there, no question no contest. My brother did not die for her sorry ass.

I drop the rope, and I wipe the tears that have been streaming down my face.

I will not see Liam again, until I see the face of the reason he died. If she lives. If she doesn't, well, running at first formation is always a second option.

[bassettmemes]

A GUTS ASK MEME ISN'T A BAD IDEA, RIGHT? prompts from olivia rodrigo's sophomore album, guts (2023) — part 2/2. ↳ trigger warnings for mentions of grooming, abusive relationships (mental/emotion, not physical), eating disorders, body image, and negative self-esteem. some lines have been edited or omitted for clarity and comfort.

LOGICAL.

"Master manipulator, god, you're so good at what you do."

"Come for me like a savior, and I'd put myself through hell for you."

"Hear all the rumors lately that you always denied."

"I fell for you like water falls from the February sky, but now the current's stronger and I couldn't get out if I tried."

"You convinced me it was all in my mind."

"Now you got me thinking two plus two equals five, and I'm the love of your life."

"If rain don't pour and sun don't shine, then changin' you is possible."

"Love is never logical."

"You built a giant castle with walls so high, I couldn't see the way it all unraveled."

"All the things you did to me, ou lied, you lied, you lied."

"The sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said. I'm sure that girl is really your friend."

"Lovin' you is lovin' every argument you held over my head."

"You brought up the girls you could have instead

"You said I was too young, I was too soft, can't take a joke, can't get you off."

"I know I'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible."

"I know I could've stopped it all, God, why didn't I stop it all?"

GET HIM BACK!

"I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring."

"He argued with me about everything."

"He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye."

"He said he's six-foot-two and I'm like, "Dude, nice try"."

"But he was so much fun and he had such weird friends, and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end. Another song, another club, another bar, another dance."

"When he said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France."

"So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed, til I remember every time he made a pass on my friend."

"Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down."

"I write him all these letters, then I throw them in the trash, 'cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh."

"I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "send", I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends, because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do."

"He said I was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth."

"When I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'."

"I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him."

"I wanna get him back. I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad."

"'Cause then again, I really miss him and it makes me real sad."

"I want sweet revenge, and I want him again."

"I wanna key his car."

"I wanna make him lunch."

"I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up."

" I wanna kiss his face... with an uppercut."

"I wanna meet his mom, just to tell her her son sucks."

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING.

"I told my friends you were the one after I'd known you like a month, and then you kissed some girl from high school."

"I stayed in bed for like a week when you said space was what you need."

"I waited by my phone like a goddamn fool."

"Now it don't mean a thing. God, love's fucking embarrassing."

"Just watch as I crucify myself for some weird second string loser who's not worth mentionin'."

"My God, love's embarrassing as hell."

"I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy."

"My God, how could I be so stupid? You found a new version of me, and I damn near started World War III."

"Jesus, what was I even doing?"

"I placed my bets and it's not worth anything."

THE GRUDGE.

"I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May."

"One phone call from you and my entire world was changed."

"Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers."

"You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers."

"I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it."

"My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge."

"I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough."

"I try to be tough, but I wanna scream. How could anybody do the things you did so easily?

"I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong."

"The arguments that I have won against you in my head in the shower, in the car and in the mirror before bed."

"Yeah, I'm so tough when I'm alone and I make you feel so guilty."

"I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry."

"I try to understand why you would do this all to me."

"You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy."

"I know in my heart hurt people hurt people."

"We both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal."

"Do you think I deserved it all?"

"Your flower's filled with vitriol, you built me up to watch me fall

"You have everything and you still want more."

"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, but even after all this, you're still everything to me."

"I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long."

"It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet."

PRETTY ISN'T PRETTY.

"Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face."

"I started to skip lunch, stopped eatin' cake on birthdays."

"Bought a new prescription to try and stay calm."

"There's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong."

"When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"

"I could change up my body and change up my face, I could try every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same, 'cause pretty isn't pretty enough anyways."

"You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war."

"Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure."

"I try to ignore it, but it's everything I see. It's on the posters on the wall, it's in the shitty magazines. It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys I bring to bed. It's all around, it's all the time and I don't know why I even try."

"I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy."

"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life."

"None of it matters and none of it ends, you just feel like shit over and over again."

TEENAGE DREAM.

"When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?"

"When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?"

"When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?"

"I'll blow out the candles, happy birthday to me. Got your whole life ahead of you, you're only nineteen."

"I fear that they already got all the best parts of me, and I'm sorry that I couldn't always be your teenage dream."

"When does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?"

"When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?"

"When are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?"

"Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?"

[chiyoso]

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

• BEFORE YOU INTERACT. know that you are entering a domain of jjk-ccentric aesthetics, (satoru coded) heavy scaramouche and satosugu simping, and will be interacting with a blog user who, unfortunately, strives for perfection when it comes to her edits, and especially her stories.

• INTERACTIONS. tough subject considering my constant burnout that makes me all distant n' stuff, BUT I PROMISE YOU, i'm not the type of mutual who ignores on purpose. for context, actually, i wasn't like this back then, but considering my mental health these days, i've been less active, less interactive, and etc SOLELY because of this unwanted stress, and if you still plan on sticking around, thank you genuinely.

╰► AND I DON'T MIND INTERACTING WITH ALL AGES. only except; if you are a minor who runs a nsfw blog, producing explicit content, with utmost strictness and big sisterly love, please, get that case away from me.

• DO NOT INTERACT IF. you become weak to mentions of; blood, heavy descriptions of fighting, injuries, murder, war, death, mental health, sensitive and heavy topics, relationship triggers, traumatic events, suicide, age gaps, cheating, vulgarity, and many more — all these fall under the warning category of dead dove.

╰► I DON'T WANT YOU INTERACTING WITH ME knowing these things will make you uncomfortable, i'm thinking of your physical and mental health over here, and over mine.

• MUTUALS. *sighs dreamily* fuck i love you. i love you. thank YOU for following me back, thank YOU for interacting with my burned out ass at all. god, thank you and i love YOU and thank YOU for being patient with me, im so fucking honored to be mutuals with you, even in my silence or inactivity, thank you, i love you so much, you're so special.

CHIYOSO𝐇𝐔𝐁 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

✐ FANDOMS I'M IN.

jujutsu kaisen, genshin impact, undead unluck, honkai star rail, honkai impact 3rd, frieren, demon slayer, tokyo revengers, attack on titan, welcome to the ballroom, haikyuu, blue locke, mystic messenger, obey me, tears of themis, love & deepspace, the ssum, epic seven, wuthering waves, zenless zen zero, and more weeb things. / ··· tba.

✐ CHARACTERS I'M WRITING FOR.

gojo satoru, geto suguru, scaramouche, wanderer, alhaitham, cyno, lyney, neuvillette, pantalone, dottore, undead (andy), fushiguro toji, fushiguro megumi, kento nanami, ryoumen sukuna, muzan kibutsuji, shinzugawa sanemi, rengoku kyojuro, rengoku shinjuro, ken ryuguji (draken), hanma shuji, blade, jing yuan, welt yang, dan heng, nanook, lan, argenti, gepard landau, luka, dr. veritas ratio.

✐ GENRES/TAGS I'LL WRITE.

nsfw, sensitive and heavy topics, female reader, breeding, degrading, cum kinks, praise, fluff, angst, mental illnesses i have (e.g. depression), comfort, no comfort, headcannons, thirsts, drabbles, submissive, dominant, hate sex, somnophillia, non-con, overstimulation, public fucking, masturbation, age gap (21+ reader obv), violence (for plot), aphrodisiacs, possessiveness, obsessive tendencies, fighting, realistic, modern au, smau, death, trauma, crossovers, dumbification, husband/wife, older characters, minority (only purely platonic), dark content, pregnancy, cheating, mental health, personal letters, song recommended fics, and more things that fall into the warning category of dead dove.

✐ YOU RECOMMEND THIS YOU'RE DELETED.

incest, stepcest, true yandere, cuckhold, scat, piss, irl politics, polygamy relationships, male!reader, trans!reader, eating disorders, disorders i'm not allowed to discuss.

╰► TO AVOID CONFLICT in regard to not writing for the opposite sex and the transgender pov, i simply cannot. i'm inexperienced in that field, and even i struggle a lot when writing the female pov as well.

understand that i am not able to because i am female myself, and even if i do take the route to research, it wouldn't feel comfortable for me, and i'm bound to get things wrong on some aspects. that's all. ⸻ (quick link to go to my inbox)

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 AND 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒

• AGED UP CHARACTERS?

uh, well. i am kinda tempted to write for aged up for some characters, but ONLY to those who are closest to my age like fushiguro megumi, 1-2 year gap of me and etc. as for characters like yanqing, or anyone else around his age, i'm not one to age up ones that are canonically young until said to be older, with that established, i'll be only writing platonic for characters like him.

• DO YOU WRITE—?

yeah. probably. go back to chiyosohub productions section and skim through the popular genres area, thats the shit i feel comfortable to write. ask for confirmation before requesting.

• ARE THESE REALLY YOUR EDITS?

mmhm, all of the media, dividers, banners and layouts are all from me and edited by me, please don't copy what took ages for me to finally settle on, thank you. besides, every edit has a well hidden watermark and cleverly placed too by yours truly.

• REQUESTS/COMMISSIONS?

i'm not in the right mental state to fulfill requests quickly in contrast to other writers, however, do feel free to pitch in ideas and, i'm actually considering comms for my editing work, but lmk if you wanna support me that way.

• WHY'RE YOU SO SLOW AT POSTING/ANSWERS?

right, i'm someone who frequently struggles with mental health, i consistently deal with burnout, exhaustion and perfectionism, plus i'm trying to break the cycle of my people pleasing too. my most recent relationship broke me to the point where nothing mattered but him, so, i'm quite literally learning to love things again—writing for example.

i'm not gonna be perfect at it, but i'll always try to strive for the best. i'm also stressing out about the fact that as someone who took a few years to take a break from school life, then suddenly i'm plunging in into a world where you train as an adult? shit is actually not helping my geto-like spiral lmao.

tl;dr writer deludes herself with hot fictional men, anime and games, all while college fucks up my sleep schedule even more. that, and her motivation's in constantly in vacation.

hope that answers your curiousities, good fuckin' luck interacting with my ass LMAO — chiyoso.

[jaceeverett]

TASK #11 WRITE A LETTER

triggering / sensitive content warnings: mentions of the army, war, death, depression, anxiety, PTSD.

Dear Gabriel,

I think about that one night all the time; it was quiet, no one else was awake, and you turned to me as we watched the stars and asked, "do you think you'll go home after this?" Back then, I laughed, and told you that I couldn't imagine anywhere that I wanted to go less than home. You asked me why, which was fair, considering all the time that I spent talking about Merrock, the salty sea air, the bonfires in the woods, the lavish parties on New Years Eve that us kids were never invited to, but always dreamed of attending. You couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to go back to that, especially if I had family waiting for me. You told me when we first met that you didn't: that your parents had passed, that you were living with your uncle who tried his best, but didn't know how to be a dad. I felt guilty for feeling like I couldn't go home to my family, to my siblings who had done nothing wrong, to my parents who did love me, even if they showed it in all the wrong ways. I tried to explain it to you, tell you about the pressure and expectations, the shined shoes and the way my mom would lick her thumb to smooth back my hair in church on Sunday mornings. The way my dad would've tanned my hide if he caught me smoking in public, or at one of the parties we attended as kids. You quietly told me that you understood, but I could sense that you were disappointed. We didn't talk much until I asked you where you would go, and you told me anywhere in the mountains. That you'd build a cabin and live off the land, and never go near "another god damn human being for a whole year," and we laughed and shared a swig of the flask you had hidden under the cot and the next day, you were gone.

Next year, it'll be twenty years since you died. Isn't that wild? Twenty years since I was laid up in that field hospital while they pulled shrapnel out of my knee and repaired as much damage as they could. I was too stubborn to go home, too pissed off about what had happened, demanded that they fix me up and get me out of there as soon as possible. You, Jack, Reagan, Daniel; so many of our friends that we sat around with on those long nights, shooting the shit, pretending we were anywhere but there, gone. Sometimes when I'm sitting outside at night, looking up at the stars, I swear you're gonna lean over with that damn flask in your hand and ask if I want a drink, pull some story out of me about learning to catch lobster or shooting a rifle for the first time. People don't get that, how much of that time stays engrained in you, refuses to leave even after all of these years. That's why I don't think my family will ever really understand why I didn't come home.

But I did. I went to Yellowstone first, because I made a promise to you guys during our game of 'anywhere but here' that when I got out, that's where I'd go, and I did. The first year was tough; I was dealing with so much PTSD, anxiety, depression. There were some nights where the only thing I wanted to do was crawl home, give up, let my dad lecture me, my mom slick my hair back, take comfort from my siblings... then my dad wrote me a letter saying how disappointed he was that I didn't 'see it through'; how he had hoped I had been able to retire from the military some day, decorated and honored, serving my country for years to come. I never even told him about the Purple Heart they rewarded me for that day we got attacked. When we got blown to bits. I got help, which was something a lot of the people we served with didn't. I don't know what made me different, what pushed me to do it, but I did, and I'm glad for it, because I was able to go to college, get a degree, become a park ranger. I became a firefighter and saved lives, and I helped people who needed me. I did it for you guys as much as I did it for myself, and even though I didn't go far enough off grid to not see "another god damn human being," I did spend my time in the wild. And then I went home.

I'm writing you this letter from the front porch of my camper. I placed flags on the graves of veterans this morning, shared a conversation about war with an older gentleman who thanked me for my service. I cooked myself dinner, I avoided social media and the news, and I thought about how this day triggered every change we didn't ask for, and decided to write you a letter. A thunderstorm just passed through and you can tell by the change in the air that fall's coming; that the summer season's gone. I'm sure the leaves are going to change soon, we'll probably have more hikers in the park, get more rescue calls out by the falls for people who wore the wrong shoes, or tried to go off the beaten path. But it's okay, because I love the work. They let me start a program this summer for the kids in town, which was so much fun. A couple of afternoons, I even got to bring Rosalyn to help me out. She's my sister's daughter, and her spitting image. I was nervous at first, with Cordelia. She's been through so much since I left home, but she's settling into her life so beautifully now. She has a really steady boyfriend (her high school sweetheart), and just moved into a rental home that's cute and perfect for her -- even has a backyard for Rosalyn. She works at the high school, I think she's kind of like the office boss, but without being the boss, that sort of deal. All I know is she's good at her job. My parents don't talk to her because of how Rosalyn was conceived (long story short, she slept with a married man -- she didn't know, but it's a small town, and people talk), which is their loss. Theo... my older brother. Things are a little more complicated there. We work together at the fire station, since I volunteer -- figured I'd put my training to good use. But where Cordelia was forgiving and eager to have her big brother back, I think it's going to be a longer road for me and Theo. He's married -- also to his high school sweetheart, which makes me think I missed the memo? -- and has two kids. He's also damn good at his job, even if I sometimes laugh under my breath when he's being tough. I mean, I used to make mud pies with him out back when we were kids, it's a weird sort of situation now. I don't think Theo has much of a relationship with my parents, either, so it's pretty much just the three of us. I haven't run into them or made any effort to see them since coming home. They have to know I'm here, by now, but I'm pretty sure they don't care. I guess maybe if I could tell you all of this now, you would have told me with more ferocity that you understand why I said I wouldn't go home.

Or maybe you would've told me to suck it up and reminded me that Cordelia and Theo never did anything wrong, and my place was with them. Catching lobsters and sneaking beer at the bonfire. I probably should've listened to you.

It took me a long time to get right with myself, and to accept that it wasn't wrong of me to be here, that it was okay to be grateful for the fact that I had made it out alive. When they tell you about survivor's guilt and PTSD and all the shit that you deal with after the war, they're not kidding. One night, after a really nice date with a bartender, we were laying in bed, and he asked me about the scars on my knee, if I had gotten into a motorcycle accident or fallen on a hike, what did that much damage. I sat up and showed him the scar on the back of my head (oh, hey, by the way -- I got shot two years after they tried to blow me up) and told him about fighting in the war, and it was really the first time that I had ever been open with someone about my scars, mental and physical. He asked if it had hurt, and I told him that it did, of course it did, but I was glad. Because at least it meant that I had made it trough. And I think ever since I stepped off that plane, that's just what I've been trying to do, is make it through. I want to do right by you, because you were probably my closest friend from the moment we touched down in the dust, and I'm always going to be grateful for that. But I knew part of doing right by you meant going home.

So in another twenty years, maybe I'll write you again, Gabe. Maybe I'll be telling you about my gorgeous chapel wedding to my beautiful bride, or the kid I adopted with my boyfriend. Maybe I'll have built a cabin, or won best pumpkin at the agricultural fair nearby. Or maybe it'll just be me telling you that I'm still at home, and I'm still just trying to make it through. I think you'll appreciate that.

I hope you're resting easy, bub. And passing around the flask.

Hooah.

-- Jason

[127-mile]

Hi!! What are some of your fave books you've read recently? I'm really curious pls feel free to ramble

Hello! I got really excited when I saw the notification, so thank you.

I've read "This is how you lose the time war" by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, and let me tell you, it was a short book also a ride! A ride mostly because not a lot is explained, you are dropped in a scene, in a world you have limited informations about despite it being our world, you have technology, a war between the past and the present/future.

BUT! It's also a love story, some kind of enemies/rivals to lovers between Red and Blue, two women who belong to different timelines, different sides. And it's epistolary in between the scenes, and the ways the letters are made/found are explained and it's genius.

I become bored quite quickly when the romance is too much, but it was subtle and sweet when the feelings realization happened. It was definitely worth the read and I recommend it if you haven't read it.

---

I was in a bit of a reading slump for a few days and because it was becoming frustrating I read a book I already read a few times. It's called, "Quand vient la horde (when the horde comes)" by Aurélie Luong, book that came out last year so there is no translation (something I hope will happen because this book? 10/10)

A little backstory you didn't ask for, I had never heard of the book or the writer, but one day I went into my favorite bookstore and she was there, so curious I asked her to tell me about her book, and the passion in her voice when she did convinced me to buy it. It's also her first book being published, so I hope she goes far and gets more of her work published.

It happens in a medieval Korea with some Russian touch, as they have invaded the country years ago. The main character, Ivan, survives daily. He is poor, lives with his childhood (and only) friend, when, one night, he gets kidnapped by the white horde. The soldiers of the White Whore, a beautiful woman with white hair who has a goal, avenge her little sister and is not afraid to draw blood. Ivan is the bait. He wants to survive, he wants to get back to his friend and for that he has to play the horde's game. He doesn't have a choice. He does what he is told, get money, and plans his escape.

So it's also a enemies to lovers, but with vengeance being the main point of the book.

I think I could talk for hours about this book as I left a big part of my heart inside. The ending is heartbreaking honestly. The book is dark, touches sensitive subjects but it's nicely written.

-----

I have to talk about Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao. It was a book I wanted to read for so long. (and the author is extremely funny, I follow them on social medias and it's always very fun to see them)

The book has as inspiration for the main character Wu Zetian, the first and only female Emperor of China in the late 600s.

The book is science fiction, lgbtqia+, feminist, with pocs, disabled main character, poly and big robots and aliens, another enemies to lovers (trigger warnings to definitely check before reading)

It's hard to explain the book, so let me copy and paste the summary:

The boys of Huaxia dream of pairing up with girls to pilot Chrysalises, giant transforming robots that can battle the mecha aliens that lurk beyond the Great Wall. It doesn't matter that the girls often die from the mental strain.

When 18-year-old Zetian offers herself up as a concubine-pilot, it's to assassinate the ace male pilot responsible for her sister's death. But she gets her vengeance in a way nobody expected—she kills him through the psychic link between pilots and emerges from the cockpit unscathed. She is labeled an Iron Widow, a much-feared and much-silenced kind of female pilot who can sacrifice boys to power up Chrysalises instead.​

To tame her unnerving yet invaluable mental strength, she is paired up with Li Shimin, the strongest and most controversial male pilot in Huaxia​. But now that Zetian has had a taste of power, she will not cower so easily. She will miss no opportunity to leverage their combined might and infamy to survive attempt after attempt on her life, until she can figure out exactly why the pilot system works in its misogynist way—and stop more girls from being sacrificed.

I'm not that into science fiction, but I was curious. I do have to admit I was lost a few times with some terms used for the robots, and also had a hard time imagining things in my head, but I liked the way her relationship with Shimin changed, and there's also her complete opposite with whom she is friend, a rich man who wants to protect her.

The ending had me on my ass! The second book was supposed to come out in April but it was changed to 2024 and I can't wait.

----

Other than that.. I recently started Caraval by Stephanie Garber. The reason is funny, I saw a book at the bookstore "Once upon a brokenheart" and loved the cover, but then I saw I needed to read the Caraval series first, so here I am. I'm currently on the second book and it's pretty okay. I like the universe of Caraval.

I read "The Invisible Life of Addie Larue" by V.E. Schwab at the beginning of the year and it became one of my favorite pretty fast. It was so nicely written that I can't help but recommend it.

I usually only read horror and thrillers but I haven't been able to find much good ones so I've been trying my hands at other books.

What about you? Tell me everything!

[kbirbpods]

Click below for my "dear podficcer," letter for Summer Swap 2023!

Dear Podficcer,

It's me, Kaje, I'm the problem I'm kbirb pods!

Things I like, regardless of fandom:

THEMES: trans/nobinary characters (extra points for neopronouns); gender exploration in general; found family (genfic or otherwise); angst with a happy ending; polyamory; good asexual or aromantic representation

TROPES: fix-it fics!! extra points for time travel or time loops in fix its; fake dating/marriage; mutual pining; soulmates (AU or just clearly soulmates); crack treated seriously; rivals-to-friends/lovers; oops only one bed

AUs: soulmates soulmates soulmates; regency era (or any different era); modern AU; crossovers, provided i know the other fandom or the fic doesn't require knowledge of the other fandom!; college/sport AU; fantasy/fae AUs

PODFIC SPECIFIC: anything epistolary (texting/chat fics especially but letters and such are also fun to explore); including music / SFX if you're comfortable; including bloopers if you have them/are comfortable exposing them

RATINGS: Contrary to popular belief I do not hate explicit fics so really any rating but I generally prefer G-M I guess

Do Not Wants (triggers, squicks, please no):

major archive warnings (major character death is okay so long as it's temporary and resolved); unhappy endings; I really don't like pregnancy, which includes MPREG (I like a/b/o dynamics minus that aspect) - kidfic is cool I just don't want pregnancy as a theme & especially not graphic depictions of it; suicide/self-harm "on screen" (mentions of past suicidal ideation/self harm are fine if not a flashback/graphic); non-/dub-con or any depictions of rape (once again, recovery is okay if done well); adult/minor relationships or relationships with unaddressed/starkly imbalanced power dynamics; any sort of poorly depicted mental health tropes (no BPD or other personality disorder bashing, no institutionalization, no "split personality" as a trope) - i really like explorations of PTSD/trauma but it has to be handled with fidelity and gentleness

Main Fandoms I Would Love to Receive:

Star Wars: I love so much Star Wars that to split them like I did on AO3 would make this post too long. I think it's easiest to say this: I prefer Clone Wars, Rebels, anything about Jon Antilles, and anything Ahsoka Tano.

My main ships are: Cody/Obi-Wan, Kallus/Zeb, Hevy/anyone (consensual), Finn/Poe or Finn/Poe/Rey, blackkat rarepairs (mainly Jon Antilles/anyone), Jon Antilles & Fay (platonic), Waxer/Boil, Fives/Echo, Kanan/Hera, and Quinlan/Fox My favorite characters are: Hevy, Fox, Ahsoka, Leia, Poe, Fives, Luke, Jon Antilles, Fay (Legends) My favorite themes/tropes are: force sensitive clones, trans!clones, force sensitive Leia, modern AUs, Domino Squad lives

Ted Lasso: My current hyperfixation! My favorite ships are Roy/Keeley/Jamie, Ted/Trent, Roy/Keeley, and Jamie/Dani. Ted & Rebecca as platonic soulmates/besties in general. I love explorations of how much Dr. Jacob sucks and fix-its for the ending!

Batfam/DC: I can be picky and yet not? Basically, I just prefer no inner-Batfam fics of the boys because I truly view them as brothers. My favorite ships are Jason Todd/Roy Harper, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Harley/Ivy, Tim Drake/Kon, and Wally/Artemis from Young Justice. This is the fandom that I specifically am obsessed with found family in. I love exploring Alfred being the boys Grandpa and Bruce's complex dadhood.

The Locked Tomb: dying waiting for Alecto news..... I'm definitely Gideon/Harrow on main; I really like fics where one or both of them are trans/nonbinary. Nona is my favorite character so explorations of her found family (the household or the friends or all of them) are important to me. Cam/Pal is important to me. I love modern AUs a lot.

Additional Fandoms I Love:

Teen Wolf: I'm basic and therefore Sterek on main! But I also really love Scisaac and never get enough content for them. Boyd/Erica is always so good. Scott/Isaac/Allison and Scott/Allison hold a special place in my heart, too. I'll never say no to Lydia/Allison or Lydia/Kira either. Found family is incredible for this fandom, too, especially Mama McCall adopting any of the pack! Magic!Stiles is my shit and I love explorations of the Hale family being alive. Genfic is wonderful.

Our Flag Means Death: Obviously Blackbeard/Stede is a big deal and I ship it forever. But my heart belongs to Jim/Olu and any explorations of Jim's gender identity! Pining Izzy Hands makes me weak, as long as he's not being abusive towards Edward or Stede.

All for the Game: My two main pairs are Jean/Jeremy and Allison/Renee but of course Andrew/Neil is always a yes. Andrew/Neil/Kevin is my weakness. My favorite friendships to explore are Renee & Andrew, Renee & Jean, Allison & Neil, and Renee & Neil. (Can you tell who my fave is). I like any fics exploring any of the Fox friendships, though!

The Old Guard: I really like fics that explore the gang's experiences in other time periods. Andy/Quynh is my OTP along with Joe/Nicky so any fics about them. Nile/Quynh is my favorite rarepair in the fandom. I like fics that look at Andy & Booker's friendship and why they're definitely platonic soulmates.

I selected a few other fandoms like First Kill; The Adventure Zone; Red, White and Royal Blue; Good Omens; The Tarot Sequence; and Sandman. I didn't talk much about them because I'm basically just into the main ships for them (Juliette/Cal for FK, Taako/Kravitz for TAZ, Aubrey/Dani for TAZ, Alex/Henry for RWRB, Crowley/Az for GO, Rune/Addam or Rune/Addam/Brand for TTS, Hob/Dream for Sandman). For Teen Wolf and First Kill I don't like Mature/Explicit fics unless they're adults in it. My favorite TAZ eras are Balance and Amnesty.

Fandoms/Ships I Will Create Content For:

Anything I listed above with any of the caveats! This would get really long if I repeated those again. THAT BEING SAID: I will create content for those fandoms even if it's not one of my listed ships.

However I will not create podfic for the following ships: STAR WARS: Rey/Kylo, Leia/Luke, Rex/Ahsoka, any Master/Padawan relationship, or Palpatine/Anakin. BATFAM: inner!Batboys as mentioned TED LASSO: Ted/Jamie (love Ted & Jamie tho) AFTG: Andrew/Aaron SANDMAN: Dream/any of his siblings

Other fandoms I will create content for:

ATLA: Zuko/Sokka, found family Star Trek: Spock/Kirk, Spock/Kirk/Bones, Kirk/Bones Leverage: OT3 is Hardison/Parker/Eliot LOTR / The Hobbit: Gimli/Legolas, Eowyn/Faramir, Boromir/being alive, Bilbo/Thorin. I like anything just exploring the lore and history of the universe and its cultures Venom: Venom/Eddie(/Annie/Dan) The Witcher: Yen/Jaskier/Geralt, Jaskir/Geralt, Geralt/Triss, Yen/Triss Sense8: anything I can find! it's small but there's nothing I won't do in this fandom, honestly... Trigun: Vash/Wolfwood (the only thing I know about it) Marvel/MCU: Steve/Bucky, Clint/Bucky, Kate Bishop/America Chavez, and Spideypool (as long as they're both adults). WITH A LOT OF CAVEATS... Harry Potter. I will only podfic trans-centric Tonks who does not get with Remus or Wolfstar with a happy ending.

Love, Kaje / kbirb

[hjellacott]

I was playing one of those World War games in my phone. Basically it's a strategy game about conquering other countries by placing armies right. Anyway. When you play as a guest (as I was doing), you get a random username and normally get put in as "man" for whatever the reason. So people will see your username (random letters and numbers) and then MAN next to it between parenthesis.

I don't mind, I know who I am, I don't need a bunch of strangers in a game to know. Like, everyone can talk to you in the game, no need to get personal.

But there's this "newspaper" section where each country (you are like, a president), can post stuff. Mostly, users put crap in there, but I still went over it to catch up, because I'd joined the game mid-session. And I see this trans woman very angry that her guest username said "man" literally using the newspaper section of the game (which acts like pretend newspapers from each country) to put, in capital letters, WHY DOES THIS STUPID GAME SAY I'M A MAN. I'M A WOMAN. I'M A FUCKING WOMAN. FUCK OFF. I'M TRANS, THIS TRIGGERS ME.

I am not making shit up, this was yesterday, and I was so shocked because, first, it's so random. It's a war game. Like, the fuck does anyone care what your random guest username says you are?? Nobody's looking at that, they're stressed trying to keep their countries from being invaded (you kind of choose a country at the start of the session and in two seconds have other countries grabbing chunks of it).

Secondly, I think it speaks volumes of how mentally unwell these people are. Like, mine also says (still) that I am a man, and I give two fucks. But this person, who'd just joined the session as well, first thing she does is make sure the entire 64 players known she's a trans woman. Not through a chat (chats are private in this game), but through the section created to post country news (like people might say "being attacked by x" to try and warn members of their coalitions and alliances).

Thirdly, I remembered how my country has erased the previous obligation for transgender people to have therapy before transitioning, because politicians said otherwise it's like saying trans is an illness. Fine. Being trans isn't an illness. But being trans is a symptom of gender disphoria, which IS a mental problem. The reason the rates of suicide and self harm are so high amongst trans people is precisely because of how shit their mental health is. Like, all my trans friends have had to do countless therapy sessions, for years, before being happy, transitioning didn't help. One of them is still in therapy and it's been like seven years, but he (ftm) was raped as a kid by their dad, and part of his problems come from that, and as you can imagine, you don't heal from something like that quickly.

Please, please, please, go to therapy. Please.

[seeyouafter]

SYA Extended Notes Ch. 6

Excerpt from "See You After" Chapter 6: June 4: Bakugou to Todoroki

We win by saving people and sometimes that means letting other people save you. So stop thinking you gotta do everything on your own. Were you not paying attention the whole time when we were trying to save Izuku? That applies to you too, dumbass.

Oh Boy. I had a LOT of thoughts while editing this chapter (most of them are related to manga spoilers which I'll put at the end).

Katsuki's nicknames for Shouto

Katsuki's ongoing rotation through various names for Shouto continues with "Peppermint Idiot" being a reference to the little girl Shouto met in the previous chapter. I feel like his use of nicknames for the people he's talking to/about says a lot.

Quirk suppressants

Even though they're used a lot in fanfics, quirk suppressants are technically not canon. At any rate, they did not exist during the Overhaul arc, as shown by everyone's reaction when Tamaki gets shot with the quirk-erasing bullets.

However, I feel like it's entirely reasonable that after the events of that arc, scientists would have worked to create a legitimate quirk-suppressing drug for medical uses. (That's my personal headcanon and I'm going with it)

Orange by Takano Ichigo

The manga Katsuki mentions that Sero lent him is Orange by Takano Ichigo. It's not necessary to know anything about it but it will be referenced again briefly in future letters/chapters (no spoilers). But it's really good and not super long so maybe go read it anyway. (If you do though, be sure to check the trigger warnings and be ready to cry.)

Ok, now the main thing:

The Edgeshot situation, Ch. 405, and giving up on keeping this fic canon compliant

I've been trying to keep this fic as close to canon as possible but after Ch. 405 of the manga, I'm tapping out. (I'll probably still reference some things depending on if they fit the story I'm trying to tell) Major spoilers for the manga chapter below.

I have so many mixed feelings on this chapter but I don't want to start discourse so I'm just keeping this in the context of this fic.

We already knew Katsuki was going to survive because of Ch. 364 and I expected him to wake up in time to help win the war. Basically, my explanation going into this fic was that Edgeshot did his thing, Katsuki got up, helped save the day, then passed out again once the adrenaline wore off, which is actually still plausible because Ch. 405 makes it clear that he should absolutely not be up and fighting. (but of course he's gonna do it anyway)

I understand the narrative reason of having Edgeshot explain things to him in this scene (it's basically to answer questions about how Katsuki survived, especially for casual readers of the manga), but for the purposes of "See You After", this conversation did not happen.

I'm choosing to ignore it for several reasons:

1. I've already written a ton of this story (I'm currently at October of in-universe events in my drafting process) and there's no way I'm changing anything major at this point regardless of what canon is doing.

2. Katsuki not knowing (yet) how he survived is a major plot point in the current arc of this fic (more on that when we get there)

3. I think several things about this chapter cheapened/trivialized Edgeshot's sacrifice

I mean, I guess it's nice that Katsuki got to thank him, but it was rushed (because they're in the middle of a battle) and while I don't have a problem with Katsuki restarting his own heart with his quirk, the framing of it sort of downplayed the massive sacrifice Edgeshot made for his sake.

Also, is Edgeshot even dead or is he just going to exist as a little spaghetti noodle?

[beekeeperspicnic]

After some of the not-so-nice criticisms I've been getting in the other direction, I thought I should put together a response to this, as the person running Letters from Watson.

I understand that it must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to get straight into reading something you are excited to read and encounter antisemitism. A gut-punch, for sure, and I think the cumulative effect of encountering that kind of thing constantly can't be underestimated.

I've tried very hard to ensure that the letters are presented in a way which encourages criticism and critical analysis, and that people were prepared in advance to encounter difficult content (or to decide to pass on it or wait until another time, if needed). I said this in an email which went out to everyone right before the project started, and which is available on the Letters from Watson website:

Please be aware that the Sherlock Holmes stories are mystery stories which feature various difficult topics such as murder, violence, abuse etc. They were also written over a hundred years ago and contain racism and misogyny typical of their era. Many wonderful people have helped put together a document listing content warnings, which will be linked in each email. The content warning document does contain some spoilers where necessary!

Before the project started, I crowd-sourced a content warning list which is linked at the beginning of every email. I felt it was important to crowd-source it so that it isn't just my own thoughts and ideas, and so it includes a wide range of perspectives and minority voices. I'm very thankful to everyone who was involved in putting it together.

My aim is for it to be a living document and that if anything has been missed, the community can add it. Unfortunately that's been hampered at the moment because the project has been shared around by a conservative "trigger warnings are censorship!" crowd who have sent me some defamatory emails, and I thought I should lock the document to protect against vandalism. I'm hoping to unlock it in a week or two when those people have got bored and moved on.

The content warnings document has an introduction which goes into more depth about my reasoning, and which makes clear the historical context of the emails:

The Sherlock Holmes short stories were written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle between 1891 and 1927.

Some of the depictions and attitudes in them are outdated and racially insensitive. They are also mystery stories which can contain murder, violence, war, and other difficult topics.  Critically engaging with literature from the past can be a rewarding experience - and a lot of fun, too. Sometimes, however, it’s easier to engage with content you find difficult and challenging when you are prepared and informed. This document is created as a guide during the Letters from Watson project so you know what’s coming and can make informed decisions.

To address a few specific points of your criticism:

...A publication from 2022

I would argue strongly against this - this is simply a sharing of a series of publications from the 1890s - 1920s, the same as a printed hard copy book. I will not edit or censor the texts (and I don't think you would want me to.)

Additional text added at the beginning and is always, always indicated by italics.

Why not include critical analysis within the emails?

I wouldn't want to gatekeep what critical analysis ends up in the emails and which don't - everyone's perspectives are valid. Instead I've tried to provide lots of channels through which people can discuss and share critical analysis as we go.

I've set up and manage a discord and reddit to facilitate this. Within the discord I created a whole resources section dedicated to scholarship of the Sherlock Holmes stories including minority perspectives. I link the discord in every email. I also encourage people to use the #letters from watson hashtag here on tumblr.

I'm pleased to say that as well as light-hearted memes we've already had plenty of incredible historical discussion and critical commentary here, including some thoughts on the passage which you mention specifically.

Why not include content warnings at the top of each email?

I decided not to do this because I want to give people the choice about whether they want content warnings or not. Some would prefer not to - and many of the warnings are large spoilers.

Also thanks to the wonderful work of the team who put together the document, it is quite comprehensive. I wouldn't want to choose which content deserves to be mentioned in the top of the email and which you have to dig around in the content warnings document for.

****

I tried very hard to ensure that nobody had the experience you've had - I wanted to have "care and concern", to not be "irresponsible", however those provisions failed for you, and I'm really genuinely sorry for that.

I hope that you'll still want to stick around, and can feel excited about the project again.

(Apologies once again for everyone who started following this blog for updates on me making a computer game, unfortunately my main blog is still downand i want people to see this, so I had to share it here!)

Me, a Jew: I sure am excited to read Sherlock Holmes in it's original form

A Study In Scarlet Extract #2: "The same afternoon brought a grey-headed, seedy visitor, looking like a Jew pedlar..."

Me, a Jew: can't we just have one thing

Seriously though, apparently ACD had (at best) a very complicated relationship with Jews in real life, and presenting his work without so much as a mention of the harmful tropes perpetrated in Sherlock Holmes is pretty alienating to minority readers. I was really excited about the Letters from Watson thing since I'd never read Sherlock Holmes before, but seeing a publication from 2022 (which I'd argue this technically is) use the phrase "Jew peddler" completely uncritically was kind of a gut punch.

I'm not saying we shouldn't read Sherlock Holmes and I'm not saying Letters from Watson is a bad idea. But what I am saying is that presenting a massively popular work to a ready-made Tumblr fandom without any care or concern for the fact that the work has explicitly racist elements is irresponsible - and that since it's only Jan. 6, Letters from Watson has an opportunity to make changes to its structure in order to address this (perhaps by incorporate minority commentary, critical analysis, and historical context into its publications?) before this thing really gets off the ground.

[bunk12bear]

Attening the dead

Not the best title i must admit, im open to sugestions. anyway I saw a tiktok about how Madam Pomfey was likely the one to declare the dead after the battle and thst got me thinking. Most of the people who died had likely been patients of hers at one point so i wrote this. I realise now I forgot sbout snape but I dont like him so meh. Fair waning this one is SAD.

trigger warnings grief, blood, death of a minor, discusion of injuries war and death.

Poppy Pomfrey didn't sign up to be a war medic. When she had been hired to be matron of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry she hoped to avoid some of the grizzlier aspects of healing. The first war had been devastating of course, losing so many of her former students had taken a toll but even through the worst of that war she never imagined the conflict would end up in the school she loves so much.

The dead are everywhere, laying amongst the rubble that used to be the Great Hall surrounded by their weeping friends and family. She stedies herself for a moment. Rationally she knows it's her job to attend to the dead but that doesn't make it any easier.

The first body she attends to is Colin Creevy, still only sixteen. If it weren't for the blood matted into his blond hair you might think he was asleep, he looks so very young at this moment.

She remembers 5 years before when he had been discovered petrified, his precious camera still in his hands. She remembered the letter she had sent his parents promising them that he would be safe, that Hogwarts wasn't normally this dangerous. She didn't think she'd ever hated being wrong more in her entire life. She hoped the bad news wouldn't be delivered via a letter again, they deserve to learn of their son's death in person, especially because they likely haven't seen him in months.

She moved on, winding her way through the wreckage, stopping to confirm what most of the weeping witches and wizards already knew. She hated seeing them all in pain; nearly every combatant at the Battle of Hogwarts had been a student during her time at the school and although she considered herself A top-notch Healer, she couldn't do anything about death or grief.

When she sees the body of Fred Weasley she nearly drops to her knees. Given their reckless nature, the Weasley twins had been frequent patients of hers. The only thing worse than Fred's too still body is George. He's sitting there, Fred's head in his lap absentmindedly stroking his hair. Tears slip slowly down his face, his eyes as dull and lifeless as his twin's.

She remembers the very first time Fred had ended up in the hospital wing. A prank had gone wrong and he would need to spend the night, just to make sure he was fine.

Both boys' demeanor changed instantly. Fred's injury had not stopped them from laughing and joking but the moment they found out that they would have to be sleeping separately the smiles dropped off their faces.

George's eyes begin to well with tears, "Wait does that mean I'm going to have to go back to my dorm without him?" He had asked, his voice shaky.

"I'm afraid so, only patients after hours" she had replied putting a hand on the 11 year old's shoulder.

"But that's not fair," Fred had protested, "We've never slept apart, never ever!" He looked over at his twin who is still doing his best not to cry, "can't you  bend the rules this once there's an empty bed right there I promise I'll be on my best behavior." 

She likely could have but  both boys needed the sleep and she knew from their dorm mates that they had a tendency to keep each other up.

George had been there first thing in the morning bouncing on his toes nervously. Both twins were overjoyed when she told them that Fred was being discharged relieved at the thought they wouldn't have to spend another night apart.

She thought again about those little boys so worried about the prospect of sleeping in separate rooms, now they would never share a room ever again; the thought felt a bit like a stab to the heart.

She goes through the motions quickly and efficiently with Fred not wanting to keep George from his brother's body.

Nymphadora Tonks or was it Lupin now was another frequent visitor. She was clumsy, enthusiastic and, much like the Weasley twins, had a tendency towards mischief.

Her very first visit to the hospital wing had happened within days of her arrival to Hogwarts. She had been slightly too enthusiastic getting something out of her trunk and smacked herself right in the nose with the lid. Eventually the girl had ended up in the hospital wing with so many minor injuries that Pomfry had hunted down all of her friends to teach them how to cast episkey, a spell she had used so many times that morning that it had long since stopped sounding like a word.

While it had been gut-wrenchingly heartbreakingly difficult to attend to any of the dead the worst was the man laying next to Dora.

She had taken care of Remus Lupin once a  month for seven years, even coming to his home after every summer full moon. She had spent many an hour carefully tending to his wounds hidden away from the prying eyes of his curious classmates.

She had adored him when he was a student. She knew she shouldn't pick favorites but even if he hadn't had to visit her Hospital Wing once a month he would probably still be one of hers. He was sweet, kind and smart but with a wicked mischievous streak. She remembers the impish sparkle in his eyes one day in 1975 when he had revealed to her that he had replaced Cassius Nott's writing set with Zonko's invisible ink quills.

Then there was the year he spent as defense against the dark arts teacher. In her opinion he was by far the best person in the position in years, decades even though she might be biased. That year she had not only helped him after the full moon , an easier prospect with the invention of wolfsbane potion, but they had built a real friendship. They had tea in her office every week and frequently chatted at the staff table. She had hoped that after the war, if the whole Voldemort cursing the position business was true,he might return for a permanent position on the Hogwarts staff. Now that would never happen.

She took a moment to run her thumb along the scars on his face one last time before moving on with her solemn duty.

[writingcore]

love is tragic | Reiner Braun x Reader

summary; the death of the reader. instead of Sasha, it is the reader who takes the hit to save her and only realizing Gabi was the one did it. After math of Reiner finding out. Also small flashbacks. 

disclaimers/warnings; angst. takes place in s4 ep8. Spoilers!! mentions of blood and shot. Reader presents as female.

a/n; I had this idea in my head for the longest time, I wasn't planning on writing this, but here I am.

 You wouldn't call yourself a “traitor” sometimes you thought, overthink it. You were just like them, the Warriors; yet so different, you were no titan. The only thing that made you a traitor was the beginning days of being in Paradis since the attack. And the day you return to Marley was hell. You never expected something so early to happen. Being protective over Reiner as time, days, and years went by. Just because he was the Armored Titan didn't change the fact, you both were still in love since the traitoring years. But that was gone, no more.

The scouts were the ones to call you a “traitor” when you were taken back to your homeland. They weren't devils; they never were devils. The knowledge that Marley spoke about them were untrue. So when the day came, having to bump into the scouts ... never in mind, you had thought. You had explain yourself, hoping for them to understand and Shockingly they did. Shortly after that day, you had packed up your things and went back to Paradis. You made sure to write a letter for Reiner after he got back from meetings and along with his cousin and the kids that were fond of him. 

⠀

⠀

Looking at the small home you both shared, you felt like this was the wrong idea but deep down, it wasn't.  

⠀

The years took off, The day Marley was officially attack by Eren Jeager. Maybe this was it. There was no time, for your words to get to Reiner, hell, you didn’t know if he was still even alive. The thought of it, hurt you. You shook it off. The noises of gunshots were going left and right. The gear the rest wore, were different. It was a nice change. 

Jean and the others were handling the Cart titan, as it taken down. The group was retreating back to the airship, not knowing that the small Braun managed to get herself inside along with Falco trying to stop her. Sasha was the one who had mention it to the rest of the group. “Hey, quiet!” Jean shouted, as they all did and bang! -- “Sasha!” You had shouted, pushing out her the way. The way your body reacted from something you couldn't control, but you had saved your dearest friend from her death. You had taken a step back and fell with a loud thud.

The shot had hit in a place, you knew that you weren't going to survive this fight. Because your fight was over. “Shit! Hey! Stay with us, stay with me!” Jean shouted to you, but you couldn't. The pain was real, the blood covered your body and it began to rush. It wasn't stopping. The memories was yours truly were coming back ... how you wished you could've stayed with him a little longer.

⠀

⠀

“I'm going to marry her, one day” Reiner spoke, the way he talked about the small petite blonde girl was something you wished he thought about you and made you feel the admiration but that wasn't you. “who? the girl who’s completely out of your league? and who’s also in love with someone else?”  pointing it out as he snickered. “Yeah, sure” Before he got up and left you. 

⠀

another memory came.

⠀

The confession was out of the blue, being in Marley, knowing you couldn't be with him. “I'm in love with you!” the shout was loud, he froze, his eyes widen. He wasn’t sure what came over you, was it a joke? you continued. “For the longest time, I never once saw you weak, When we were younger, you inspired me .. but at the end, I was still nothing ... I was always by your side, I noticed more than you think. But Me? Her? I just couldn't say.” Reiner came close to you, cupping your face and went in for a passion kiss. “But not to me” He slightly smile, before grabbing your hand.

⠀

⠀

But now here you were. Sasha had wrapped the badges around your upper body, but nothing seemed to stop the blood. It just kept going. “It keeps going, it won’t stop!” Sasha voiced cracked, hearing jean cursed under his breath. Your skin was starting to become pale, your eyes becoming dull, your breathing became unsteady and slow. You tried to speak, but nothing came out. “Don't try to speak, I’ll be right back. I have to take care of these kids and make them pay for what they did.” You also knew how everyone was protective over you and each other, before the shot; you had taken a glimpse of the kids. One of them was Gabi. She was the one who shot the sniper trigger.

Never expecting to get shot by the cousin of your beloved. Even Gabi knew who she just had shot, the regret in her eyes shown. She only met you couple of times with Reiner and was already fond of you till the first day of meeting. 

⠀

⠀

“Reiner! Reiner! Who’s this” the little girl asked, as you stood there next to Reiner. “This is (Y/N) ... someone who I've been together with for quite some time now and please Gabi, get along with her” She nodded her head and began asking questions left and right. Knowing this was going to be a long day. But it wasn't the worse.

⠀

⠀

Connie and Sasha were hovered over you, watching you mainly. They couldn't see you like this. The fact, they knew about you and Reiner was possibly be something hard for them to speak and tell him. You tried to speak again but the only thing that came out was “Rei...” as your eyes closed, your breathing stopped. Both of you friends had began crying as they shook you to wake up, nothing worked. Connie was the first to rushed over the doors where The Commander Hange, Captain Levi, Zeke, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean and the kids. “(Y/N) is dead.” Mikasa and Armin ran to your lifeless body and shouted and cried for you to come back. But that wasn't going to happen.

⠀

⠀

Till that day forward, Reiner met up and teamed up with the alliances, the only thing was he couldn't find was you. The rest of them are here. Jean, Mikasa, Armin ... but you? no longer here. “Hey! are you going to tell me where the hell she is!?” Reiner shouted while nobody had seemed to recover from that moment. “I'm sorry, Reiner. She’s no longer here with us. This little girl had gotten into our airship and had targeted Sasha but she pushed her out the way and took the bullet.” Jean explained, the blonde couldn't believe what he was hearing, you? dead? no. Tears began to fill Reiner eyes. “We also believe that little girl was your cousin. Gabi Braun.” That's when he completely was shattered and broke down. Yet, you were in a better place. He never got to kiss you goodbye on the day you left him, he will never be able to sleep knowing you're not there by his side.

⠀

⠀

⠀

⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Dear, Reiner Braun.

⠀ As I’m writing this to you, you’re probably angry. I know ⠀ and I’m sorry that it had to be this way. Just know that the next ⠀ time you see me ... I’ll always be your side, even when it’s all ⠀ ⠀wrong. Once this war is over, I would love to start a family with ⠀ you. You and I both know how much you would love that. And I ⠀ ⠀would love to give you that; when the world is finally at peace. ⠀ ⠀ You and I weren’t perfect but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before I’ve met you. Please live a life you could be proud ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ of, it isn’t over. Till then ... I’ll meet you soon.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Love, (Y/N) (L/N)

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[erenaeoth]

This is actually good.This is very good in fact .If Kazuya story ended like that i would not be mad at all.It is even better than a redemption arc because i do not know how it could have been pulled and it would have been less satisfying.

Now regarding the whole lore of Tekken i think they should do a reboot starting from tekken 4 in my opinion . Because the whole Jin start World War 3 was off for me and Akuma who appear just now is even more off. What do you think?

Sorry the thread was too long for me to reblog. But i still enjoy reading it .

Jin & His Gradual Fall Into Devil Jin

-> previous thread

I'm not a fan of reboots. I came to Tekken from Mortal Kombat where we got a reboot every 5 seconds trivialising previous storylines.

I know lots of people are dismayed by Jin's choices in Tekken 6, but if you look closely just at the material referring to him in Tekken 4 and Tekken 5, (and including Devil Within), you can see all the groundwork for this boy going off the deep end. He spends two games losing it to the Devil Gene, and making it very clear that he cannot control himself. He even returned to the only home where he felt at peace, and his devil destroyed enormous swathes of forest there. This is someone raised by Jun Kazama for whom that forest would have been near sacred. He's sent secret letters to his friends warning them, he's tried to stay away from them, and all his profiles talk about him losing a battle to his devil.

Like in Tekken 4 we have him solely thinking of revenge and trying to end the Mishimas, isolating himself on his own and trying to unlearn his karate, as if that will help. We have him struggling over his Devil in Hon Maru and managing to hold out. Then we get his Tekken 5 prologue:

Jin Kazama. A child of destiny. After fighting Kazuya and Heihachi, an evil spirit swelled within Jin. Awakened by an unknown voice, Jin looked around at a forest completely destroyed. And he knew he was the one who did it. Returning to Yakushima, Jin was plagued with nightmares triggering the devil gene.

"If this keeps eating away at me, I don't know how long I can hold on" says Jin.

Jin sets out on a journey to end this evil, with destiny as his only guide.

And don't forget this happens during Tekken 5:

During the tournament, Jin was defeated by his rival, Hwoarang. However, Jin's devil form took over him and as a devil he brutally injured Hwoarang, allowing him to progress in the tournament.

And bear in mind we have an entire mini game (which may even be canonical) where Jin slowly loses it to his devil. Devil Within is filled with Jin's own nightmares, and it becomes unclear if he really fights all those creatures or if the game is actually an extended metaphor of him losing himself, but he descends deeper into places where he has less control, and it's no accident that completing the game is one of the ways you unlock Devil Jin as a playable character (the game itself goes back through Jin's traumas - he starts off looking for his mother, then fights Heihachi, Ogre, etc. whilst fighting for control of himself). And then of course Jin's Tekken 5 ending gives us that very Kazuya-like smirk from him on his throne on the end.

I think a lot of people were put off by Jin seeming in control and like his rationalisations made him cogent and vaguely believable in Tekken 6, but if you look just at the character arc itself, he's clearly lost a battle to the dominant influence of the devil, and his characterisation is deliberately a mirror of Kazuya (think also of all that stuff about two evil stars clashing). Lots of Jin's aims in Tekken 6 talk about balance and restoration in a warped dark mirror of Kazama teachings, and Jin himself talks about Azazel's voice in his head in that game, guiding his actions (although he thinks he's in control enough to make the choice to listen to that voice himself). Jin is certainly still fighting his devil, since he doesn't yet have control over it, so hasn't merged like Kazuya has, but he's lost a significant amount of his moral agency to the thing, or at least this is what's heavily implied.

For this to have resolvable importance, the devs are going to have to talk to us about how much responsability someone being consumed by a foreign devil entity has over their actions, since the only real difference between Jin and Kazuya at this point is that Jin still probably has regret and wants to ultimately be rid of that evil. If Jin isn't culpable for the war, then neither is Kazuya for his actions, so I don't think they'll go that route, but its certainly the case that Jin has lost a lot of himself in a fight to his devil, and that his choices have been warped by that influence.

So that's why I'm not interested in a reboot: I feel like Tekken 6 is a natural progression of Jin's storyline. Akuma is another story and his inclusion irritates me no end, not least because it implies the canonical existence of Satsui no Hado, and both Heihachi and Kazuya would not have left a power like that go unpursued. That said, I strongly suspect Akuma will never be mentioned in a Tekken game again, and they will just casually ignore that they threw him into the plotline and all the inconsistencies that came with it.