#//I don't know anything about Grif...

[rubykgrant]

This took entirely too long to finish because I wanted to give them pretty outfits, and I know nothing of fashion, so I re-drew the clothes like a dozen times, and I finally don't hate it at least, so I'm done!

ANYWAY, what's this? Is that Tucker and Poppy? Yeah... I didn't plan this. I had many different scenarios for how Poppy meets the other characters, some in small groups, a few one-on-one. The real defining relationships I had in mind for her was giving Red Team a new person (they get so few), it was really important that she meets Sarge first when he's missing his boys (but doesn't want to admit it), and when she joins the group, Simmons THINKS he's gonna hate her, but nah- they just vibe (he in particular doesn't have a buddy except for Grif, he needs another friend!). Yes, Poppy is also a secret (fake) Freelancer, but she wasn't involved with the main shenanigans back in the day, so she doesn't have a strong past connection to Wash and Carolina (but Red Team is still proud they finally got their own Freelancer, even if she wasn't "official"!). The way I had her meet Tucker; Sarge wants somebody to give an example of Freelancer training to the soldiers he's working with (not yet knowing that Poppy was part of that). Wash and Carolina are busy... but, hey! Tucker went through that kind of training, and he's got the calves to prove it! Tucker arrives a little early, planning on making a cool entrance... and then he falls down a hill. Poppy is the only one around at the time, so she helps him back to his feet, and promises not to tell anybody what happened. When she introduces herself, she uses her first name, so he returns in kind- Lavernius. As the training demonstration goes on, Tucker and Poppy occasionally make quiet little sarcastic comments the others don't hear, and when Tucker says something that makes her laugh, Poppy happily tells him- "Hey, you're funny!". Tucker isn't used to people appreciating his quips, so he has a little moment where he goes... "I am?"

WHOOPS. That was cute. I didn't plan on that being so cute. I really didn't. It just happened. Now I had the problem of imagining how far they could go with this. Honestly, I was a little hesitant to have an established character in a relationship with one of my OCs... it felt almost arrogant or something, like- look at my OC, she's so special, and this cool character LOVES HER. It also felt like I was being dismissive to other relationships people like that involve Tucker (which is a lot, because he is indeed a lover-boy). So, even as I continued to think about my RVB story-line, I kinda kept anything with Tucker and Poppy off-to-the-side in my head. They kept being cute, though. He really decided- "I will prove how mature and polite I am capable of being by NOT hitting on the first new girl we've had in the group", and then he caught FEELINGS. He doesn't know what to do with those when they're SERIOUS. It really doesn't need to be so complicated, though; Poppy likes him right away. She knows she going to fall in love with him, and when she does, she just waits for him to kinda catch up. There are a lot of things they wind up sharing, including humor, quiet moments, comfort. They show each other their favorite movies, they ask "what is something you never got to do when you were younger?" and then help each other do those things (and Tucker feels what it's like when somebody is interested in you with a soft and slow kind of passion, that can still be fun and playful. not only did I realize how cute they could be... I realized how much Poppy would adore him. Tucker doesn't have to do any flirty smooth-talking, or prove anything to her. she wants him to know how much she appreciates being able to listen to him talk, being able to hold him, being able to share this closeness, and what it really means for her, who has never been drawn to anybody before, or even felt lonely for something she didn't care if she might be missing. they're both together now, and nobody has to miss anything~)

Tucker is standing in front, with Poppy behind him, She has her arms wrapped around his waist, one hand on his hip, the other hooking her fingers to the hem of his pants. Poppy is leaned over slightly, pressing her face to the crook of his neck, kissing him where the skin is exposed. Tucker has one hand raised in a thumbs-up, the other holding Poppy's arm at the wrist. One of Tucker's legs is raised slightly, where Poppy's knee brushed against his inner thigh. He has a proud smile on his face, giving a wink. Tucker has short black hair, warm-dark brown skin, and tiny double stud silver earrings. His shirt has a loose unbuttoned collar, with the sleeves rolled up above his elbow. The color is mostly dark-teal, with a pattern similar to celestial/astrology circles and stars in a lighter aqua. His long-sleeved under shirt is a vibrant peach tone. His pants are a pale cream color with a darker shade from the knees-down, with short boots that are a foggy-gray. Poppy is wearing a top that is styled like an a-symmetrical vest in a pale seashell white, with a wrapped sash around her waist that is a dusty rose color. Her skirt is a gradient of turquoise/yellow/pink in pastel colors, with dark mauve leggings, and short red boots with buttons on the side. Poppy has a sandy-tan skin tone, and long brown hair with lengths parted in the center and swept back from her face. Her expression is relaxed and pleased

[cahboose]

My cringe red vs blue 19 opinions. Spoilers, obvs.

Yes it's different, but I actually PREFER the new Caboose voice actor. He doesn't do the annoying inflection Joel did and his manner of speaking is way less annoying to me.

I don't care about how many callback characters they used [ One, 479er, Kai ] ect, when they completely ignored Donut.

On that subject, hated the scene where Simmons threw the memory unit, that should've been Donut. He should've failed.

Didn't care about Sarges death for one second. Killing off a main character in such a jokey way takes out any depth. His final speech to Simmons and Grif was poorly written anyways.

Tucker having 0 impact after the AI leave is so questionable. I know it's already foreshadowed in the beginning that everyone experience with AI overtake is different, and you can sum it up to him not remembering because he didn't have Epsilon (?) or to just traumatic memory block, but Tucker WAS 'there' in moments, so the fact he didn't remember anything -- or comment on killing sarge, and his last interaction with the series was a 'hot nurse' off screen joke was just bad. Especially if you consider how the Meta affected Maine, or even having multiple / strong AI affected Carolina and Wash. Everything else involving Meta Tucker was great though.

Tex being the one to come back (which not to brag, I called.) was crazy good. Like. Sickening good.

Carolina or Washington should have been one of the main characters to die, not Sarge.

Killing Doc off screen was such a weird choice. Did call that he was a hallucination though.

20 years of queerbating grimmons was incredibly funny of them.

The ending showing all the freelancers except wyoming was so fucking funny.

[quadrantadvisor]

A Better Time

Red vs. Blue, Grif/Simmons

Grif and Simmons have been married for years, ever since their ill-advised (and very unauthorized) trip to the Vegas Quadrant, shortly after being stationed at Blood Gulch. A lot has changed since then.

792 words

On AO3

-

Grif pokes his head up over the top of the ladder to the roof. It’s a good view, with an alien sun slanting in the sky and lighting up everything with warm tones, like Simmons’ russet hair. He sits, waiting, and when he notices Grif clambering up over the edge the corners of his mouth turn up. “Hey,” he greets.

Grif plops down next to him, exaggerating his puffing a little because one, everyone needs to know how ridiculous it is to expect him to climb ladders, and two, he’s way too fond of this kissass and it’s been a while since he made peace with the fact that he’d do anything to keep him smiling. It works; Simmons doesn’t even say anything, just nudges him with his elbow and grins. Grif rolls his eyes, nudges back, and scooches a little closer to him. “So, what are we doing up here?”

“Okay, so, I was thinking-"

“Nerd.”

“I was thinking,” he says again, “that doesn't it seem like we got married a little, well, early?” as the sentence goes on his voice gets higher, the words slower. He's nervous.

Red flags all over, that the conversation that Grif was called up here for will not be a pleasant one. He doesn't know where this is going but it feels like he needs to head it off before it gets there. Damage control. “It seems like it all turned out okay,” he tries, testing the waters.

“No, wait, whatever you're thinking, quit it right now.” Simmons leans against him, forcing the tension out of his shoulders. “Let me finish.” Grif waits. Simmons makes a noise of frustration. “This is hard.”

“Aw, c'mon, don't leave me in suspense,” Grif says, trying to make it sound like a joke.

“What I mean is,” Simmons says, “there's probably a better time to make a legally binding declaration of intent. Like, um” —he clears his throat— “like now. Not that,” he continues before Grif can say anything, “our wedding wasn't perfect and beautiful.”

Grif knows his lines here. He smirks. “I especially like the part where you threw up on my shoes.”

“I threw up on both of our shoes, Grif. It was symbolic.” There's another pause, but this one's comfortable. “So, um, what I actually wanted to do, was,” Simmons pulls away from Grif’s shoulder, shifts so he’s facing him. And kneeling. On one knee.

“Dexter Grif.” Simmons is making purposeful eye contact, and Grif can’t look away. “Would you like to, um, continue to be married to me, but, more romantically this time?” He breaks the look, fumbling, and grabs something from behind himself. Holds it out.

It’s a stack of papers.

“What’s this?” Grif asks, and his voice comes out hoarse.

“Oh! Um,” Simmons thumbs through the papers nervously, “it’s kind of dumb. I probably should’ve just asked you about this like a normal person, instead of, all this, so you wouldn’t feel pressured or anything.” His face is so red. “God dammit, I’m fucking this all up. It’s- they’re- it’s paperwork, for, um, changing your name. Both of our names, I mean. I thought we could,” he runs a hand through his hair, “hyphenate.”

Grif reaches out, and Simmons hands him the top half of the stack. Sure enough, it’s a bunch of legal-eze, but Simmons’ neat handwriting stands out where he was filling things in. It says, right there, Dexter Grif-Simmons.

“So yeah, if you wanted to, it’s all done. Well, not done done, there’s some back and forth, it’s a whole process.” Grif grabs the other pile that Simmons is still holding. Richard Grif-Simmons. “And we’d have to report it to a bunch of places, and get new IDs, I mean obviously I would do all that stuff so you don’t have to worry about it.” Grif can’t look away from the words on the pages. “So, um, what do you think?”

Grif kisses him.

Simmons leans into it for a second, and then pulls back. “Yeah?” he asks, breathless, giddy.

“Yeah,” Grif answers, and kisses him again.

After a while, Grif is the one to pull back. “You put my name first,” he says, smirking.

“Do not read into it. It just sounds better that way, objectively, because of the patterns of stress on the syllables-”

“That’s not anything! Those are fake words that you’re saying! You can’t just put words in whatever order you want and pretend that they mean something!”

“You legally assigned me the top in this relationship and you expect me not to read into it?"

“I don’t know, you put words in the order you wanted and I’d say that it’s packed with meaning.”

“Would you shut up and kiss me some more?”

He does.

[peachybutch]

How Good the RvB Main Cast is at Cooking, Ranked from Best to Worst

1. Donut

Donut gives off the vibe of one of those gay men with a baking channel on YouTube. This man's out here rolling up to the red team monthly dinner club with frenched rack of lamb with a pistachio mint crust and wine accompaniment, then earl grey souffle with creme anglaise for dessert. He spends hours experimenting with new and interesting ingredients. Remy Ratatouille, send-you-back-to-rural-France ass man. Donut's food fucks hard and everyone knows it.

2. Grif

You really think my man Grif loves food as much as he does and doesn't know how to make it? C'mon. He doesn't, like, relish the act of cooking as much as he does having a good plate of food at the end of it. And he's not typically much for sharing. But my guy makes a damn good short rib and bechamel lasagna. Give him the day to let something slow cook, and god damn.

3. Wash

Wash has been living off of MREs for probably his entire adult life, but I feel like he's got a few dishes he can whip out for a date night, or if he's feeling fancy. He knows how to read a recipe, and he has a pretty good idea of what flavors go together to make something good. He probably has a really nice papardelle with vinho verde sauce that he has sitting around in the back of his head for special occasions.

4. Tucker

Okay, Tucker isn't a bad cook by any means, ok? He's great with breakfast food specifically. It's just that he isn't especially fancy about it. He was probably, like, a line cook at Denny's in high school, so all his food tastes like food you would get at Denny's. Which isn't a bad thing! You would just never call Denny's "fine dining". He has his niche, and he does it well, and he never feels even a little bit inclined to do anything different or better.

5. Church (Alpha)

Church isn't much of a foodie right off the bat, but someone's got to pack Caboose's lunch, and he ends up learning how to cook fairly well after that. After a certain point, he figures out how to make things from scratch--mostly things like chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, pancakes.

6. Simmons

I feel like Simmons mostly lives off of shit like green smoothies and homemade granola. Like, hardcore, low carb, vegan, all organic, high protein diet. And, like, it doesn't taste BAD. But it definitely isn't the kind of thing you bring to the red team dinner club. He does make a really nice sunbutter brownie that he has to hide from Grif.

7. Caboose

Caboose has been banned from using any objects in the kitchen that involve a heat source--which isn't HIS fault! How was he supposed to know that you're supposed to take the spoon OUT of the mac and cheese before putting it in the microwave? That's just a recipe for a cold spoon! Anyways, he manages just fine without the microwave, thank you very much. He can make ants on a log like it's nobody's business. Cleaning up afterwards is another matter entirely.

8. Carolina

Carolina is one of the most competent individuals you will ever meet. She could kill you in under a minute, in 30 different ways, and that's just with her bare hands. The fourth time Sarge tries to recruit her into red team is by inviting her to the monthly dinner club. She shows up empty handed, and when Donut very politely asks what she brought, she replies that it's very interesting that they expected the only woman on the team to go all out with cooking. They move on. Carolina spent 5 hours in the kitchen this afternoon trying to figure out how to use the oven. But they don't need to know that.

9. Tex

Now, listen. Tex can't be called a bad cook, precisely, because that would require she cook for herself or others. Which is something she does not do. That's what Church is for, isn't it?

10. Sarge

Sarge refuses to step foot in a kitchen after the fifth shouting match about how flamethrowers are not a universally recognized kitchen appliance.

11. Church (Epsilon)

One time, while blue team is shooting the wind, Caboose asks Epsilon what his favorite breakfast food is. Instead of calling Caboose a dumbass, as per usual, he instead goes into extensive detail about how he eats computer keys like cereal. Caboose tries it. It isn't very good.

[agentoli]

Implant Miniseries: Delta [pt. 1]

Words: 2.5k

TW: panic attacks, mention of death, mention of blood.

Summary: Simmons gets to share his brain with a computer chip, and he is terrified. Luckily, Grif is there to help his friend keep his cool.

Notes: Grimmons warning (mild). It's been a while since I've actually written anything, so apologies if the consistency is a bit wack.

In the brightly colored waiting room sat a rather dreary man, who sat with his elbows on his knees and hands loosely clasped. Between his feet lay his helmet, freshly polished and free from any damage. He preferred it that way. Despite his job and its dangers, he found solace in routine.

Simmons bit his lip as his green eyes flickered around the childish room, never settling for more than a second lest he fall back into his muddled thoughts. Although, he dipped briefly into the torrent to wonder where his orange companion was. Grif had assured Simmons he would be there for the operation, just in case. At the time, he had callously brushed it off as he always had, waving a hand to dispell the 'silly' notion.

Yet, he felt his nerves grow more erratic as the clock ticked forward. Did the man actually take his deflection to heart? What happened to the Grif that didn't care what others said? And why did he actually wish the heavy set man was here to calm him down?

All of a sudden, his armor felt a bit to tight, and the air was a tad thicker than before. Simmons could feel his pulse quicken in his chest. He grimaced, hands gripping tighter onto eachother. Not here. Not now. You should feel lucky.

Simmons nearly jumped to his feet as the door hissed, sliding open to reveal a larger man in casual clothes. His dark curls spilled wildly over his shoulders, matching the disheveled look the rest of his 'fresh out of bed' attire.

The man's dark eyes meandered over to the figure in armor, a lazy smile growing in his face. "You look like a mess."

Summons scoffed, straightening his posture. "I look put together. Unlike you, I got ready this morning."

"Uh, yeah. 'Cuz you're about to mind meld with a computer chip." Grif practically fell into the chair besides his armored friend, shoving a hand into the pocket of his sweatpants. He pulled out a handful of hard candies, one of which he dexterously popped in his mouth.

The paler man frowned, "Nice breakfast. Hoping your sugar will crash in time to avoid drills today?"

"Simmons, you know me so well." Grif offered a piece without looking.

He froze, blinking for a moment. "Since when do you share your food?"

"If you don't want it, thats fine—"

"No, I'll take it!" Simmons' vooce squeaked out, swiftly snatching the small treat away. He fumbled for a moment with the wrapper before shoving it into his mouth. "Eugh, milk chocolate? Seriously?"

"Beggars can't be choosers. 'Sides, there's no way I'd carry around dark chocolate. That stuff sucks." Grif swallowed another candy, rolling the wrappers into a ball.

Simmons watched his hands, no longer consumed with the ticking clock or how garrishly the waiting room was decorated. His eyes drifted slowly to his face. The stubble, the warm brown eyes, the greasy curls, the flawed skin... He blinked, looking away. 'No! Do NOT think about Grif like some crushing schoolgirl!!'

"So, you're getting an AI, right? How's it feel to he the first sucker on Team Bravo to get one?" Grif hummed, tilting his head to look at his redheaded companion.

The man turned his gaze back to meet Grif's. "Scared...? Like somehow I'll mess up?"

Grif made a face, huffing amusedly. "Dude, how do you mess up getting an implant? If anyone would screw it up, it's Doc, and you know his track record."

"I don't know... what if my AI doesn't like me?"

"That, I can see..."

"Grif!" Simmons whined, pouting. "Aren't you supposed to be giving me a pep talk?!"

"If you wanted a pep talk, you should've asked Donut, or Sarge. Me? I'm an impartial third party." Grif leaned back with a hum. "You gotta realize you aren't the first one to get an AI."

"Sure, but we all know Church is a freak." Simmons replied pointedly.

The disheveled man laughed into his fist. "Don't let him hear you say that."

"What's he gonna do? Cry to The Director? Like they'll do anything." He huffed and folded his arms. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say Church is in some torrid love affair with them. First to get an AI, Captain of Team Alpha, always first pick for missions. It's unfair."

"Hey, less work for me."

"Every day I question why they stuck you in Bravo."

"If it were up to me, I'd be Charlie all the way."

"You want to be bossed around by Donut?"

"On second thought, maybe Sarge isn't so bad..."

Before the conversation could continue, another door slid open, and an unarmored man stepped through. He had tied his black fluffy curls back and wore a white surgical mask. Simmons remarked on how clean his scrubs looked, usually they were stained with the previous patient's bodily fluids. His eyes were heavy behind his circular glasses. Woth a deep inhale, Doc finally spoke. "Richard Simmons, the operation is ready to proceed. You will need your full suit of armor for this, though you may keep your helmet off." He spoke far more professionally than usual. Had he been like this with Church a few weeks ago?

Simmons blinked, feeling his blood pressure spike again. This was it. It was time. Millions of what-ifs filled his head like a discordant choir. His vision blurred, fading at the ends.

A large, warm hand on his own stilled the waters enough to see clearly, a quick glance confirmed the culprit to be the perfect messy man with perfect messy features. If Simmons wasn't so terrified, he supposes his face would turn red. Instead, he nodded to his friend and stood up, making sure to grab his helmet as he walked towards DuFresne.

"Hey, before you go." Grif commanded one more moment of his attention, waiting until the man turned to look his way. With the softest, kindest smile Simmons had ever seen, the tired agent spoke, "Good luck, buddy."

Simmons had to look away to hide the warmness that crept upon his freckled face, although Doc recieved front row seats. The medic raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as he turned into the medbay.

The maroon agent followed, an odd serenity forcing his usual anxieties to settle down and dissapate into the well of conflicting emotions still stirring in his heart. He was led to a hospital bed and told to sit while the medic performed his usual check-up routine. Simmons wasn't really paying attention, mind fixated on his companion's dopey smile and warm hand that he swore he could still feel even through his gauntlets.

"Simmons?" He was pulled back to reality by a gentle hand on his shoulder and questioning eyes. Admittedly, DuFresne was a gorgeous man, but yet his heart never fluttered like it did when he had to wake Dexter up and saw his sleeping expression, or whenever Grif laughed so hard he had to lean against him, or— "Simmons!"

"Huh?"

"Are you alright? You were spacing out." Even, professional, unfeeling.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous." He lied, because the truth was a lot more embarrassing and something he did not want to voice.

Doc held his gaze for a moment as if studying his expression for any dishonesty. Apparently satisfied, he moved over to his desk and pressed a button. A quiet beep sounded off, and within minutes two more people walked through the medbay doors.

Instinctively, Richard lowered his gaze, content to stare at The Directors shoes than dare meet their eyes. Beside them was someone leagues less terrifying, though all the same intimidating.

Vic spoke first, his odd mannerisms spilling out even in his 'no nonsense' tone. "Alrighty duderino. Congrats on being numero dos to recieve an AI! How are you feeling?"

"Uhm... okay. I'm nervous, of course, but I'm—"

"Happy to hear it comrade!" Vic cut him off, and Richard wished he could just swallow his tongue.

A more controlled voice spoke next, "Richard Simmons, are you fully prepared to take on this responsibility?"

He only nodded, remarking on how shiny The Director's shoes were.

"Very well. Vic, you may hand over the storage device." They turned slightly to speak to the Counselor.

DuFresne carefully took the black cube in his hands, moving back towards Simmons. Another gentle touch commanded the agent's attention once more. "You will feel a slight pinch and something close to a jolt of electricity. Try not to flinch to much." With the warning, the hand pushed Richard's head down to expose his neck port, courtesy the procedure a week prior to prepare for the implantation.

Simmons closed his eyes, finally allowing his thoughts to rest on Dexter without reeling in embarassment. As much as he hated to admit it, the image of his orange companion brought him comfort. He must have gotten carried away as he scarcely felt the pinch. Although the shock did well to force his attention. He seized up, hissing in pain as thousands of needles stabbed into his spine and skull, his hands clenched to tightly that if it werent for his gauntlets his nails would leave angry red cresents in their wake.

The idle beeping he had heard before quickened, and suddenly the gentle grasp on his nape turned to two forceful hands on his shoulders. Was he being held down? Why did everything sound so far away? Who was yelling? At him? The only thing Simmons could accurately identify was the sensation of every nerve ending screaming out in discordance.

"..mons!......ap ou... ri... Breathe!"

'I can't open my eyes, I can't breathe, I'm trapped. I'm going to die—'

<Richard Simmons, you are not going to die.>

A lifeboat appeared.

<It seems my implantation has triggered a panic attack.>

A hand reached out.

<You are not in danger.>

He was dragged from the torrent.

<You are safe.>

He could finally breathe.

Simmons' eyes slowly peeled open, squinting as bright florescent lights hit his ill-adjusted eyes. Something held him in a tight, warm embrace. He unconsciously leaned into it, noting how sweet his first breath of air tasted. The ringing in his ears slowly faded, giving way to muffled chatter from distorted voices he struggled to put names to.

<That does not matter. Focus on stilling your mind.>

Whoever kept breaking through the fog, Simmons figured he should obey. Focus on my rapid mind, focus on the warm anchor keeping me grounded, focus on breathing.

<I will not let harm come to you, Simmons. You are safe.>

"Is he alright?" Finally, a second voice pushed past the walls. Still, he wasn't sure who.

A louder voice responded, likely the thing wrapping itself around him judging by how it rumbled. "He isn't shaking as much as before. Just, give it a little longer."

"No... I'm fine." Simmons managed, ignoring the coarse feeling in his throat.

The anchor hummed, questioning, "Are you sure? You seemed pretty freaked out."

Richard finally waved away the cloud muddling his senses, fully taking in his surroundings. With that, he pushed his 'anchor ' away and stumbled to his feet. "Grif? What the hell?!" He cringed at how squeaky and hoarse he sounded.

He was met with a concerned frown. "Are you sure you're all there? The AI didn't eat your brain or anything, did it?

<No, I didn't. I am incapable of consumption.>

"What?"

"I said—"

"No, not you, the disembodied voice! You guys don't hear that?"

Confusion spread across the other occupants, each giving odd glances to eachother (save for The Director who remained stoic). DuFresne carefully approached him, slowly raising a hand to hold the agent's chin. Simmons stood extremely still as the medic tilted his head in every direction, keeping up as another hand pulled at his eyelids to stare into his green eyes.

When Doc finally sighed, the tension in the medbay started to dissapate. "That voice you are hearing is your AI. Grif, can you pass me his helmet?" His voice was much more amicable than before, shedding all monotone professionalism in favor of a soft, reassuring tone.

The casually dressed man obeyed, setting the meticulously maintained helmet in the medic's hands, watching as it was then offered to the armored agent.

Simmons mindlessly fitted it over his head, making sure it clicked into place. Within moments, a holographic figure flickered to life a few inches from his visor. The maroon agent jumped back, swatting at the image. "ACK!"

"Please do not do that." Now subjected to the acoustics of the room, the disembodied voice left his mind.

He looked owlishly at the others, pointing at the hologram with a series of strangled breaths. The charade earned another muffled chuckle from Grif. "Yeah, we see it."

"He is an AI. Delta." Doc subtely corrected, making a few notes on his clipboard. Grif raised an eyebrow but chose to let any comments die in his throat. After a few moments of hurried writing, the medic returned his inquisitive gaze to the maroon agent. "How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy, slightly uncomfortable, and there is this buzzing in the back of my head." Richard relayed.

"Okay... How is your connection with Delta?"

He tilted his head, "I'm sorry?"

"Does he feel fuzzy or distant in any way? Can you feel his presence?"

"No, it's pretty clear."

"Great! One last question," DuFresne twirled to swipe a stress ball from his desk. "In the interval between this ball resting in my hand, and it touching the floor, what is it's top speed?" Without waiting for a response, the medic tossed the item up and let it fall to the floor.

<Approximately 10 meters per second.>

"10 meters per second." He parroted, pausing afterwards to glance at the green holographic soldier, then back at Doc. "That was..."

"Incredibly lame?" Grif interjected, lightly punching his companion's shoulder.

Simmons whipped around to grab his shoulders, a wild look in his eyes hidden behind his visor. "No! It's amazing! Do you realize how efficient this will make me?! Grif, I have a miniature computer in my brain that can make calculations in a fraction of the time it would take for me to even react! This is a dream come true! Sarge will finally acknowledge how useful I am and give me a promotion!!"

Grif patted one of Richard's forearms, "Uh, you know that's not how Teams work, right?"

"HUSH! Now is not the time for your argumentative comments! I need to test Delta out!!" He began shaking the heavy-set man.

"Chill out! You just got done with implantation. Don't you need to recover or something?" He glanced over at DuFresne, hoping for the medic to back him up.

Instead, Doc smiled. "Actually, we were expecting him to conduct a combat test."

Once more, Grif looked like he wanted to argue, but a quick glance back towards his friend killed those words. "Fine. I'll stick around to watch you get your ass beat again."

[blood-gulch]

grace blood-gulch's s14 episode ranking list because i am so special and have lots of thoughts on every episode ever :)

Tier 1 - legitimately good quality content i recommend viewing

Room Zero - as someone who was personally Waiting those multiple years to see that rvb animated episode be finished i was so excited by this one. also i just love the animation + attention to character details in the og one. even though it doesnt really add much to that original base, newer fans should watch it to appreciate the animation cuz its cute. especially fond of every character detail moment like church running backward and using his hand to slide or the earliest iteration of grif being canonically animated as fat. idk i love it a lot and i think its p cute and well worth the watch. it's also the first episodically which is neat. good opener for s14.

The Brick Gulch Chronicles - look its stop motion lego and its cute as fuuuuuuck. the plot being sarges bday is adorable. literally awesome.

Fight the Good Fight - okay i just find it cute and quirky and generally enjoyed watching it quite a bit :) it made me laugh. the [Red] team gag was good. it reminded me of the similar gag from the simpsons in the kamp krusty episode. my dad always makes jokes about that specific gag so ahh. definitely worth the watch but understandable to skip.

Caboose's Guide to Making Friends - its just really fucking cute idfk

Head Cannon - This one's just really funny and also adds on to a scene that already was fun in a good way. Enjoyable. Highly recommended.

Get Bent - I wish sarge was still an old woman but dykenut and church bisexuality balances it out. i also wish we had female tucker. it makes me sad we didnt get female tucker.

Red vs. Blue the Musical - The reds' song is about weapons and the blues' song is about church killing himself. 10/10. no notes. perfect summation of rvb in like 10 minutes.

Mr. Red vs Mr. Blue - genuinely delightful like a distilled everything i like about tucker. he's really fun here. also sister is fun here.

The Triplets & The "Mission" - The triplets own hard. the scene with wash connie and south at the end always makes me smile. ohio girl youre fucking crazy but youre everything. I love you.

Tier 2 - Decent content. You can skip but still somewhat worth ur time.

From Stumbled Beginnings and Why They're Here - Mostly fun. Asterisk mostly. There's an episode between these two that's technically an episode trilogy you should skip. Otherwise is pretty fun.

The #1 Movie in the Galaxy: 3 - This is silly and fun. I enjoyed it. It's also short.

Meta vs Carolina: Dawn of Awesome - look man its a death battle. if you like death battle youll have fun. if you hate death battle you can skip it. shoutout sarge deadbeat dad implications though. i cant even be mad its just not the character id expect them to do that to...

Grey vs Gray - i found it fun :) nothing stand out tho. skippable but not egregiously bad.

Immersion: The Warthog Flip - Look if you Like seeing science stuff yeah its a good watch. if you dont like that you can skip it. I like the math and science though. you don't lose anything in skipping though.

Tier 3 - Meh

Orange is the New Red & Invaders from Another Mother - theyre not bad but aged... poorly. i thought they were funny when i was younger but i watched funhaus actively then. i dont know how this would fare to a non-FH fan. Desert Dance [Spins]

Red vs. Blue vs. Roosterteeth - I KNOWWWWW THERES A LOT OF NOSTALGIA its just .... not very funny. its creators meeting their characters but its also odd in a strange way. you can watch it if youre curious enough. i liked the end voice over of s14 a lot tho so like maybe watch it and if youre bored skip to the end lol

Tier 4 - Drink a lot or watch with friends to experience enjoyment

Club, Call, & Consequences - look man the only way youre enjoying this is if you are a hardcore lolix guy or you are wasted out of your mindddd. im sorry who the fuck is siris. i honest to god thought siris was a bit as a joke on the whole thing of "grif simmons and hammer" from earlier. they never even mention siris again. who the fuck is siris. i felt like i was like lied to or something . sorry siris is so fucking funny. well he didnt have a personality but thats ok. i dont know if he actually exists.

RvB Throwdown - Get Miles Luna out of the booth. never let him rap again.

Tier 5 - Bad. Skip it.

Fifty Shades of Red - Fifty Shades of Red has possibly one of the worst jokes in the series that immediately assassinates Tucker into a pretty fucking awful light and retroactively ruins his character for the preceding 13 seasons. I honestly recommend skipping Fifty Shades of Red to avoid that one tucker joke. its not necessary and contributes nothing. The rest of the episode is fine and on the level of stumbled beginnings & why theyre here. but god that one joke is so bad i can't in good faith recommend it. it just leaves me fuming LOL i could write an essay as it being the origin point of post s13 writers room tucker hate where they start trying to make him an irredeemable asshole & dont understand his whole deal for the rest of the series.

[runelythedragon30]

Red vs Blue: Hybrid Horrors

By: Runelythedragon30

Part 1: Episode 1

Episode 1

The Reds and Blues had just returned to their secluded island home after the events of the Blues and Reds bullshit. Some of the guys showing concern for how Washington might be doing. Mira had just gotten back herself with her mother heading out on another mission to find her husband. "Mira!!!!" Grif tackles the half alien woman knocking her to the floor, "Oof! Wow that was a lot of movement even for you Dexter." "Shut up I fucking missed you." Simmons and the rest of the crew laughed as they all had a long and worry filled day. "Wait Wash got SHOT!?" Mira shrieked, "yeah and it didn't look good for him. Carol is back on Chorus seeing if he's doing well. We're hoping to hear from them soon" Tucker said sounding rather defeated. "At least you all got out of there alive! What the hell were all of you thinking!?" "Hey don't blame us for the bullshit we get thrust into!" Donut chimes in, "WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING!?!" Mira looks at Caboose and sighs. "I was gone for at most two weeks. But that's a story for another day." "Is... Is that a stab wound?" Simmons points out the weird marks in her armor. "Uh yeah like I said story for another day." Grif and Simmons huff as they have this rising sense of dread. "If anything we showed those dirtbag WHOSE BOSS!!" "No you backstabbed us then came crying when you realized how fucked all of that shit was" Mira rolls her eyes as she heads out to relax and get some air, it was nice to be back with the guys, she missed her idiots. But she has always wondered if there are others out there like her. Her mandibles shift slightly as if being a reminder of how she isn't normal. She looks down at her alien legs and how the cloven shaped feet slightly grip the flooring. She was lucky, to find people who cared yes, but to be alive too. As she's lost in thought she doesn't realize that Kai snuck up behind her, "hey want some company?" She flinches a bit, "oh shit uh sure. How are you Kai?" "Meh I'm just happy to see my brother is ok...." The two sit in silence for a moment, "sooo are you and Dexter fucking orrrr-" "ooooKay you made this weird." "Oh CMON!! I need to know if my brother scored or not so I can make a move if he failed to." Mira laughs, "Kai I am very happy in the relationship I have with Dexter and Richard." Kai huffs, "well at least I tried." The two laugh a bit, "but to be serious when am I getting a niece or nephew?" "Probably not anytime soon Kai." ". . . Why not?" "I'm not sure I'd be a good mom. And I doubt your brother or Simmons would have the motivation or balls to try." "Fair point Dexter is a lazy fat fuck." Mira had landed in Blood Gulch in the same pelican Kai arrived in. So the two were at least familiar with each other. She recalls how Kai had complimented how odd but badass Mira looked, granted back then Mira was not only higher than a damn alien space ship, but she also didn't trust people at all. But the oddball of a color blind chick had grown on Mira, it was probably the mix of her brutal honesty and free spirited attitude that made her so easy to trust. You can't exactly judge someone when you've fucked over a dozen people. "I don't know about you but *yawn* I'm gonna go hit the hay." Mira says as she stretches a bit, "alright girl! Have a good night!" "Good night Kai."

The writing gets better past this I promise. Tumblr won't let me post episodes 1 AND 2 together.

[starshineandbooks]

Bottom of the river (hold my hand) Chapter one

This is my ode to red vs. blue. This show has given me a lot. It's been something my dad liked to do something I liked. It's always going to be in my heart, and one day, I hope that I too, can be a gay robot.

As requested, here is your tag @the-team-sucks

Rating: T

Pairing: Grimmons, Tuckington, Docnut, oc x oc

Summary: Thanks to something Sarge has made in the future, the Sim troopers and their freelancers have to deal with their kids from the future. The kids are split up evenly between the Sim troopers, and the two chorus armies are hopeful about their new recruits.

Warnings: cursing, time travel, Canon divergent, time travel

Other: If I missed anything, please let me know. Not beta we die like Church.

Word count: 3,202

Masterpost

-------

Simmons dosen’t know what to make of the news Kimball wants to share. There has been no progress in retrieving their comrades from the enemy.

He has no clue what the news could even be to call for only him, Grif, Tucker, and Caboose. Are their teammates dead?

He hopes not.

Simmons arrives first, to the surprise of no one. He enters the meeting room and takes a seat. He can wait.

He's used to waiting.

Kimball comes in next, and her armor is polished more than usual. She must be worried about something.

Although in a war, who isn't?

"Simmons," Kimball says curtly.

"Ma'am."

"Where are the others?"

"I don't know."

"They're late."

As if on cue, Caboose comes in, dragging Grif. The blue-clad soilder towers over the man he drags.

Caboose lets go of the orange armored soilder once they're by the meeting table.

"Man, I don't wanna be here." Grif groans loudly as he flops down beside Simmons.

His head is thrown back as he stares at the ceiling for a moment.

"I'm ready to meet santa!" Caboose declares.

"It's too early for this shit." Grif groans lowly.

"It's three in the afternoon," Simmons says with a scandalized look.

"So?"

"Where's Tucker?" Kimbal sighs.

"Who knows. Let's just get this started." Grif flops onto the table.

"Yeah, party!" Caboose cheers.

"No, Caboose, no party." Kimball sighs.

Simmons glances around, trying to find clues for what's going on. He just needs to know. What if it's news that the others are dead?

He just-

Simmons just needs to be prepared for the fallout.

"Can we come out yet?" A voice calls from what might be a closet.

"No." Kimball calls sharply, sounding as if this is the umpteenth time she's answered this question.

"You can't keep us locked in a closet that's really homophobic!" Another voice calls. "Like what the fuck lady?!"

"Please stop yelling." Kimball sighs slowly.

There's some rude grumbling from the closet. And then there's a thud followed quickly by a groan.

"What is this about?" Simmons asks again, trying to keep any petulance from his voice.

"I'll tell you once Tucker arrives."

Grif just mutters something that's likely rude. His gaze lingers on the table.

Tucker comes in, "What's going on, Kimball?"

"Timetravel."

No one can see her face from behind her visor but the tone of voice is so serious you'd think she was announcing a death.

"Fucking what?" Tucker asks.

Because this has to be a joke. The universe loves to fuck with the Sim troopers!

"I hear them all I'm coming out!" Calls the second voice.

"Lani wait!" A third voice urges.

Out of the closet comes a teenage girl with dark shoulder length curls and plenty of attitude. She's got her arms crossed.

She stands out more than the attitude, though. She's dressed in casual clothing. Ripped jeans, a graphic t shirt. She looks - like a true civilian.

"Guys!" The teen- Lani calls behind her sharply.

"Stop yelling we're right here." A teen with long brown hair sighs. His height is almost intimidating, but his easy going nature helps.

He too is dressed in casual clothes. A Spiderman shirt screams his lack of military status.

"Yeah, chill out, Lani." Says the third voice as a dark skinned teen with close cropped hair emerges.

This one too is dressed casual, converse with shitty doodles and a teal plaid flannel.

Holy shit.

These three kids really might be from the future.

"Shut up." Lani snarks immediately, "I don't have to listen to you two."

"I'm older than you." The tall boy grins.

"You'll just go grey first."

"Someone explain what's going on here," Tucker urges, trying his level best to make sense of the teenz.

"Oh, hey dad!" The boy with close cropped hair waves.

"Did you just call Tucker dad?" Simmons gapes from inside his helmet.

"You don't have room to say jack shit papa." Lani levels evenly. Her gaze intense as she turns it to the cyborg.

Grif starts laughing. His body shakes as he looks between the three teenagers. This is too fucking good.

Next, the tall one will claim to be Caboose's kid! That would be really rich.

"Ha! Simmons, you have a kid!" Grif is laughing again

"You do too, dad." Lani levels her gaze to Grif, "Or did you think papa's pale ass had me all alone?"

Tucker gives a snort, "She's got you there, dude."

"Wait- he's your- and I-" Simmons is blushing so hard he short circuits.

"This is going well." The tall teen says.

"Let's start with introductions." Kimball says, "And maybe try not to short circuit captain Simmoms."

"I'll go first. I'm Zach James, my momma is Kitty Caboose-James. Caboose is my uncle. He helped raise me." The tall teen with the long brown hair says.

"I have a nephew!" Caboose gasps, "This is great news! I can be a ghost uncle!"

"Almost." Tucker says, patting Caboose's shoulder.

"How the fuck would he be a ghost uncle?" Grif asks Simmons under his breath.

"I don't know." The maroon soilder sighs, "ignore it."

"I'm Ben Tucker, I don’t know where the others ended up." The boy in plaid gives a half hearted shrug.

"Others?" Grif manages, sounding only the appropriate amount of strangled.

"You're my kid?" Tucker asks.

"Yeah." Ben shrugs. "And we're missing our other friends."

"I'm Lani Grif-Simmons." Lani gives a smirk, "I get my good looks from my auntie Kai."

"Oh fuck, Kai's an aunt?" Tucker asks, the realization follows a dawning horror.

"Go back. Who are the others that you're missing?" Simmons asks.

"Oh. Uh, Aspen, Cassie, and Violet."

"Who are they?" Tucker tilts his head.

"Cassie's my twin." Ben volunteers helpfully.

"Aspen is Carolina's kid. They're pretty chill." Zach shrugs.

"Violet is Doc and Donut's special little princess." Lani shrugs.

"Wait, Doc and Donut hooked up?" Simmons blinks.

"That makes the most sense out of everything." Tucker says. "I guess Wash didn't have kids."

"About that." Ben says.

"No." Tucker says quickly, "He had kids?!"

"Oh my fucking god." Lani groans, "I didn't believe dad when he told me about the dumb ass pining."

"I know." Zach pats her shoulder. He seems unbothered by this.

"Excuse me. There are more of you?" Kimball asks. She sounds annoyed.

"Probably ended up wherever the others are." Simmons speculates, "If you guys are here."

"So there are more captives of the enemy? That's not great." Kimball sighs. "We need to work harder."

"I wouldn't worry about that. Those army people don't have our friends, our friends have them." Ben grins.

"You don't think Vi's going to embrace the violent side, do you?" Lani asks, looking like she hopes the violent side is in fact embraced.

"Who knows." Zach sighs, shaking his head.

"So wait, hang the fuck on. We have kids, who time traveled, and some of those kids are being held captive? What the fuck man?" Grif sounds outraged. Because seriously, what the fuck did they do to the universe?!

"Come on, keep up man." Tucker shakes his head.

"My nephew is a space pirate!" Caboose declares.

"No, Uncle Mikey." Zach says evenly. "I'm a college student."

"How- old are you guys?" Simmons frowns.

"I'm nineteen." Zach shrugs.

"Seventeen." Lani says.

"Eighteen." Ben smiles.

Kimball clears her throat, "These three have generously agreed to help us fight-"

"Absolutely not." Tucker and Simmons snap in unison. Both sounding firm in their words.

"And who's going going to stop us?" Lani challenges. Her crossed arms and challenging gaze mark her as too much personality.

"I am your father, you are not fighting." Simmons says sharply.

"I'm fighting, and you can suck my dick."

"Lani." Zach chides.

"You are grounded!" Simmons snaps.

"You haven't even had me yet. What do you know about parenting?"

"I know I should let my kid fight a war!"

"I'm fighting, papa. And if you try to stop me I'll castrate you."

"Definitely your kid." Simmons says to Grif.

"I know, I'm so proud." Grif pretends to wipe away a tear.

"Yeah, you're not fighting Ben." Tucker crosses his arms.

"I am though. They have my sister that kind of takes precedence over listening."

"See? Ben gets it." Lani pats his shoulder.

"You're not fighting." Grif says, "Simmons is right."

"What the fuck ever." Lani rolls her eyes.

"We'll talk about this later." Tucker says, "all of you. But we have other things to focus on. Like, what are you doing here?"

"How the hell should we know? I was messing with something, and then we're on the floor." Lani throws her hands up in a 'what can you do?' sort of motion.

"Definitely, your kid." Tucker says, looking to Grif and Simmons.

"I know." Grif says, unfamiliar pride wlling in his chest.

"I know." Simmons says, very familiar dread wells up in his chest. What kind of baby could he raise? His own father was so awful... he hopes he isn't like his dad.

"Obvious genetics aside," Zach says, already used to the way the Sim troopers are, thanks to being raised around them. "We should really focus on what happens from here."

"Do we get to talk to our future selves?!" Caboose demands, "I want to know where I lost that Easter egg!"

"Caboose." Tucker says firmly.

"Can we maybe see where we're sleeping?" Zach suggests, "It's been a long day."

"Yes. Your rooms. I've put all three of you in one room."

"What?!" Simmons and Grif demand.

"Well, I don't want them in general population barracks, but they aren't high ranking enough for their own rooms."

"You put out daughter in a room with two boys?!" Grif demands, flashbacks of horror stories in his head.

"Dad, ew." Lani says with a look of pure disgust. "Ben and Zach are like my brothers."

"I know what teen boys are like." Grif scoffs.

"Hey, I promise I raised my kid better." Tucker defends.

"I'm going to fucking scream." Lani says sharply, looking like she very well might hold good on the threat.

"Please don't." Zach says, "Kimball can we go to our room?"

"Yes. Your room is three down from Tucker's."

"I'll show you!" Caboose declares.

"Thanks." Ben says.

"We'll all show you!" Simmons villunteers.

"Jesus fucking chrsit." Lani sets her face in her hands. She wonders what she has to do to get the others back as soon as possible.

"You're just upset that Cassie isn't here." Ben snickers.

"Shut up."

"You miss Cassie."

"I hate you."

Ben and Zach share a look. Neither is bothered. Honestly, they're both amused.

The Sim troopers leave the meeting room, guiding the teens down the halls and towards their room.

Lani trails after the others. Her arms don't uncross, and her gaze lingers everywhere.

When they arrive at the room, she immediately claims one of the top bunks. Sighting that she likes to feel tall.

Simmons leaves as soon as he's seen the room. He doesn't know how to father. What if he makes a mistake? What if he ruins a relationship he should have yet?

Grif just waves grumbling threats to the boy's before leaving.

Tucker pats Ben on the shoulder, "You find me if you need anything."

Caboose says something about going to find flowers for his new friends before leaving.

Ben takes the other top bunk, and Zach takes the bottom bunk under Ben.

Lani just curls herself up between Ben and Zach. She just wants to seek safety, and these two are safe.

Their parents don't know them they've volunteered to fight a war. And they're missing half their friend group.

And if she's honest, it's her fault they're here.

Lani should have known better than to mess with someone Sarge built. But here they are.

Zach rubs her back slowly, "We're right here, Lani. Right here."

"Yeah. I know."

"Should we sing?" Ben grins.

"Please don't." Lani laughs softly.

"You don't plan to act like a bitch the whole time, do you?" Zach tilts his head.

"Fuck you." She says, no bite present. And for all her bark, all her attitude, she is really just glad she's not alone.

"We're going to be okay," Zach says, sitting up slowly.

"Zee's right, you know," Ben agrees, stretching out on his side.

"Can I braid your hair, Zach?" Lani asks.

And Zach agrees. For two reasons.

The first reason is because he likes the feeling of someone's fingers in his hair, it soothes him.

The second reason is because braiding seems to bring Lani peace.

-------

Doyle stands before the Sim troopers and freelancer, trying to figure out how to explain the situation. After all, everything is very different.

"What do you know about time travel?" He asks.

"Not enough." Wash sighs slowly.

"Okay... well, uh- I have a surprise?"

"Go on!" Donut urges, "You have me on the edge!"

"Come in." Doyle calls over his shoulder.

The door opens, and three teens stroll in. The tallest has a red pixie cut. The shortest has dark skin and long locs. The middle height teen has bubblegum streaked curls.

"Oh my god." The shortest teen groans.

"These are your children. From the future." Doyle manages.

"What?!" Wash and Donut manage.

"I have no kids!" Sarge says quickly, he doubts he'd have kids later. He's already kind of old!

"We know, Sarge." Says the teen with streaked curls.

"Uh- hi?" The tall one waves, "I'm Aspen."

"Who's kid are you?" Wash asks.

"Carolina's."

"Oh."

"I'm Cassie Tucker." The short one explains, "Hey dad."

"Me?" Wash blinks.

"Yes, you." Cassie snorts, seemingly amused by her father's cluelessness.

"Oh."

"I'm Violet Dufranse! I'm Donut and Doc's kid."

"My baby!" Donut cries, sounding every bit the theater kid he probably was.

"Hi, Daddy!" Violet waves cheerily.

"This is all kinds of weird." Wash mutters.

"Oh chil, dad. Ben, Zach, and Lani aren't here. Wait- where are they?" Cassie turns her attention to Aspen quietly.

"Uh- probably with our other adults?"

"Wait, there's more of you?" Wash asks. Feeling genuine dread in his heart. Their other teammates had kids?

"Course there are, crafty aliens always have friends!" Sarge snaps.

"Yeah, there's more." Cassie rolls her eyes. "There's Lani Grif-Simmons, Zach, who's Caboose's nephew, and my brother Ben."

"Grif and Simmons have a kid?" Sarge asks.

"That makes a lot of sense!" Donut declares, "They spend so much time together."

"They had a nice wedding." Violet adds with a hum. "The pictures make it look beautiful."

"Pictures?!" Donut gasps loudly, "You have to show me!"

Violet is reaching for her phone, more than ready to show off the pictures. Unfortunately, Cassie just shakes her head, muttering something that makes Violet sighs.

"Guys." Aspen says, "We have to focus. Where are the others?"

"I don't know. But how much trouble can they get into?" Cassie asks.

"Are you serious?" Violet looks to the shortest with a look of confusion. "Lani and Ben are being let loose without any authority the respect."

"Whatever Vi, they have Zach with them. It won't be that bad."

"This is a nightmare." Apsen groans.

Washington looks between Sarge and Donut, wondering where Lopez is. But really, what could the robot do?

He's inclined to agree with Aspen. This has all the makings of a nightmare. He has twins. He has twins with Tucker.

Okay, the Tucker part isn't too bad.

Wash really doesn't mind Tucker. If he's going to be honest about his feelings, and he hates that, he's a little too fond of the aquamarine soilder.

"These young adults have graciously volunteered to help us fight the rebels so we can rescue your friends." Doyle says as he gestures to the time travel trio.

"No." Washington says firmly. "No way in hell."

There's a second of silence, while all three teens stare him down. But he's not budging on this one. He is not letting these three fight.

"Yes. I promise the rest of our group is going to fight. We're not letting them fight alone." Violet is shrugging, looking for all the world like she's just suggested tea.

"Aren't you anti violence?" Cassie frowns.

"I'm anti needless violence. If I can't talk my way out, I can fight."

"This is great and all, I'm happy to meet my new red rookie, but we aren't getting any fighting done like this!" Sarge crosses his arms.

"Can we talk about this later? It's been a long-. How long have we been awake?" Aspen looks around, trying to make sense of time.

"I don't know. I'm more worried about the look on Kai's face when we left." Cassie admits, "Here's hoping she ends up with Lani and not us."

"It's all going to be fine," Violet assures quickly.

"Yeah, you'll see. You're surrounded by big, strong men, we'll be right behind you, and you just tell us what you need." Donut chimes in quickly, sounding a little too excited.

"Thanks, dad!" Violet chimes happily.

"Okay, can someone show us where we'll be sleeping?" Aspen cuts in.

Doyle nods, mostly to himself. He needs to get this show on the road. He has a strategy meeting in ten minutes.

The genral straightens to his full height. "I've put you three in a room across from Washington and Donut."

"Thank you," Aspen says evenly.

Doyle just nods. "Woukd you guys show the new recruits to their room?"

"Absolutely!" Sarge is standing now. He's very fast.

There's some bickering, but after a minute, Sarge is leading the entire group minus Doyle through the halls.

They make it to the teens' new room, and Wash is kind enough to check the perimeter. He dosen’t know a lot about parenting, but he figures he should make sure there's no lurking enemies. That sounds like good parenting.

Aspen shows the Sim troopers and Washington off, claiming that they have it all covered.

And then Violet is trying to get reassurance that things are really going to be okay.

-------

In the future, the Sim troopers are staring at the charred device and floor with mounting horror. They just watched their kids disintegrate.

"Ah fuck." Tucker groans lowly.

Grif turns a glare to Tucker. His acusing presence should freeze over hell. "My daughter just disintegrated and all you have is 'ah fuck'?!"

"Okay now calm down gentlemen." Sarge reassures, "They ain't dead."

"Good." Doc says, looking like he might hyperventilate.

"It sure looks like they are!" Grif snaps, throwing his hand to the side, "But do tell. How do six teens survive being disintegrated?!"

"They're in the past numb nuts." Tucker says, pushing Grif's hand away from him.

"How do you know?!" Simmons demands, whirling on the retired blue.

"Uh guys, shouldn't someone go after them?" Kai asks.

Unfortunately, no one registers her words. She sighs, deciding to go pack a bag. If their parents can't get their shit together, Auntie Kai will just have to go help.

That sounds like a great plan.

Kai leaves, missing out on the part of the conversation where the others insult each other, oh, and remember that the time travel device sent them to a war.

If she had heard that, she wouldn't have packed so many condoms.

-------

Chapter two

[correctrvbquotes]

Scene changes; Caboose is outside with the other Reds.

Caboose: Hi guys. Great to see you—wait. Unless you're here to blow me up. Then... not so great.

Sarge: We’re looking for something we’ve, err... erm, lost.

Caboose: Is it the keys to your base? I do that a lot. But it's really easy to break in because, there are no doors.

Sarge: No, we’re looking for something else. I'm not gonna tell you what it is and give you some kind of advantage.

Caboose: Can you describe it.

Grif: Yeah, it's pink...

Simmons: It's annoying...

Sarge: And it's got kind of a spring in its step.

Caboose: Ohh. You mean Donut.

Sarge: Ah, yes! Where is he?

Caboose: He's in my base. He'll be staying with me for a little while.

Sarge: You've captured him? Diabolical... What are you doing with him!?

Caboose: Don't worry. He's resting. Comfortabubly.

Grif: Ooh, that sounds ominous. Don't back down now, sir.

Sarge: Give him back!

Caboose: See, there's something he needed to tell me. I'll send him home after that.

Sarge: Squeezing him for information, eh?

Simmons: Sarge, I don't think that he's—

Caboose: Hey. No one is squeezing anybody. I was just working with my tools and he—

Sarge: Torture!? You ungodly fiend! He won't give you any info! He'll die before he reveals anything! Hear that, Donut? You'll die before you talk! We all know that, keep up the good work!

Caboose: Actually, he already told me the beginning part.

Sarge: He told you about our secret new vehicle!? Damn it, Donut, you idiot!

Simmons: Sarge!

Caboose: He told me about “this and.”

Sarge: He told you about that and our new hologram chamber!? Donut, put a lid on it!

Simmons: Sarge!! (sighs) I'm gonna go sleep under a tree. Come wake me up when the brain summit is over. (leaves)

Grif: Are you kidding? I hope this lasts forever. Psst, hey Sarge. Maybe there's a ransom.

Sarge: Good thinking. What is it you want, Blue?

Caboose: What do I want? ...Do you have any cookies?

Sarge: What are your demands? You have to give us your demands.

Caboose: I demand cookies!

Sarge: Now you're just toying with us! Your depravity knows no bounds!

Grif: Yeah!

Caboose: Well, at least I don't go around... knocking on people's non-doors... and promising them cookies... (heads inside) and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES! (pops back out after a moment) I’M! LEAVING! (returns inside)

[rubykgrant]

idea: Reds and Blues meet Master Chief. What are the interactions like? I imagine the best would be Sarge, Locus, Wash, Carolina, Tex, and Tucker, but I'd want to hear all interactions.

I'll be honest ("I'm gonna keep it real with you chief" haha), I've never played the Halos, or watched Halo the series, so I don't know too very much about Johnny Spartan Halo Chief as a "person" ??? However, we've seen little bits background Halo lore in RVB, and the characters making some kind of mention to Master Chief (before Grif started claiming to have been drafted, he specifically said he signed up to fight aliens, but then Master Chief "blew up the whole Covenant Armada", so now they're stuck playing capture the flag in a box canyon (plus, a few PSAs/specials/extras where characters talk about real Halo stuff). I guess I have to imagine this happening in some kinda of AU, maybe it takes place after seasons 16-17, the UNSC tracks them all down seemingly for a fight, but then- nope! They want help... and also, Master Chief is there

I think, depending on her day, Tex will either be respectful... or, if something has ticked her off, she'll just be in NO mood to be polite (she won't specifically try to pick a fight or anything, she just isn't going to care about rank or whatever. it kinda trips the others up when she talks like a "professional Freelancer", they're not used to seeing that side of her haha). There is kind of this unspoken understanding of "We both got messed up. We did a lot of messed up stuff. Not a lot of people would consider us PEOPLE anymore"

Wash and Carolina are similar, both having experience with soldiers who have been through very INTENSE situations. They'd be very quiet/respectful... at first. They both also have a lot of experience with high-ranking military people who abuse that position and manipulate others around them, so they don't want to just automatically say "yes, sir" and never question anything. They also aren't trying to pick a fight with this guy, but after getting chewed-up/spit-out by the UNSC, they are on ALERT (oh, and vague back-story head-canon; Carolina was ALMOST selected for something similar to the Spartan Program when she started being a soldier, it wasn't the EXACT same thing, but too close for comfort. she didn't know it at the time, but her dad kept changing her files to keep her out of it, but from her point of view, she was just told she "failed" some test)

Sarge is in full fan-boy mode

Church is, like... genuinely INTIMIDATED by this guy. He's weirdly silent most of the time, until Master Chief walks away, and then he lets out a freaked-out whisper-scream. Inevitably, something or other will make Church mad, OR make him feel like he needs to protect his friends, so his self-preservation goes out the window, and he'll mouth-off to Master Chief (which he'll panic about later, but Master Chief quietly respects, and gives Church space to voice his opinions on stuff. now Church has to put actual "planning" into what he says... oh no, he just trapped himself into more responsibility!)

Tucker is immediately VERY serious about his feelings regarding Junior. If anything Master Chief is going to do will hurt the kid, or turn into another stupid war that endangers innocent lives, not only will Tucker refuse to help; he'll STOP the UNSC, Master Chief, whoever, whatever. No jokes, no false bravado. That is just a fact. Master Chief doesn't challenge him on that, but when some other soldiers around try to mock Tucker, he's actually very calculating about how he responds? Like, he's not bragging/making BS up, he's mentioning stuff he's done in a very mundane way, and the UNSC soldiers say that sounds lame- and THAT is when Tucker clarifies what ACTUALLY happened, and it IS impressive. It quickly becomes clear he's not trying to show-off to Master Chief, he's sort of playfully explaining to all these other soldiers that it is very easy to underestimate Tucker and his friends, which isn't going to work out. Once it is established that this isn't going to be an attack on the Sangheili (or other groups), Tucker relaxes. Master Chief just likes him

Caboose is simply very friendly~ (another background head-canon; when Caboose was very young, he WAS part of something that was an almost kinda-sorta Spartan program. not literally the same, but like an alternate version of it. however, just when he was done with the training, it was disbanded for various failures... so Caboose was still trained to be a soldier, but they weren't sure where to put him. off to Blood Gulch he went)

Simmons isn't quite a fan-boy, but he's filled with a quiet awe (actually, this might be the first time he wants to impress an authority figure, but isn't emotionally attached enough for it to make him nervous?)

Grif is ALSO a huge fan-boy, and is even more of a loud-mouth than Tucker, Sarge keeps trying to get him to shut up or he'll die from second-hand cringe, but then Grif actually got Master Chief to sign a poster, so???

Kai is flirting. If Master Chief isn't interested, she'll try for the tiny glowing lady ("You're WAY less of a bitch than the glowing AI dude we got~")

Donut keeps nervous-laughing. When the others ask him why, he says- "I am trying. So much. To not say. Something. Bad"

Doc is weirdly comfortable and personable with Master Chief. Has he met this guy before? When? O'Malley speaks up casually as well, and Master Chief seems very accepting and amused

Lopez acts like he doesn't care, but then he mutters something in Spanish about how he can't find such-and-such tool or whatever, and Master Chief hands it to him??? Not only does he understand, but he LISTENS? Well, that's Lopez's friend now

Locus is sort of reserved, but respectful. Wash mentions something about how he thought Locus would maybe see Master Chief as another "fellow soldier" because of their "similarities". Locus seems surprised. He really didn't even think of it that way

[mincedpeaches]

re: this post

>They wanted to focus more on Red Team

And yet no Donut or Lopez. hmmm. Whats that all about.

>considered Simmons to be somewhat of the main character and wanted to focus on his arc

Okay now this I can kind of see. The only thing I think doesn't work is where he ends up. Literally just send him off to be a Sargeant back on Chorus or with the UNSC or something and this would have been ace.

>difficult to get the pacing right knowing it would be a single release rather than an episodic one

Yeah, we could tell. But also I don't think the episodic pacing hurt the good RvB seasons rewatchability when they were the "complete" versions too much. I think they should have just tried writing it episodically and then stitch it if they thought that would be easier.

>they did revisit some earlier seasons while working on it for inspiration

Okay but did they revisit Chorus. The trilogy this was supposed to come directly after. Because if not, plus they're watching old seasons for inspiration, maybe that explains why their characterizations were so off.

>it would have likely been expanded into a trilogy, they condensed the story significantly for the movie

*Adelle voice* We could have had it ALLLLL. But seriously, we could tell this too just from watching it.

>The main story is based on the original pitch Burns gave for S15, but ultimately they went with Nicolosi's pitch instead

And WHERE was Jason's pitch RT? HMMMMMM? Also when did Nicolosi pitch this? What was the difference between his and Burnie's pitch? No offense to Nicolosi but I can't imagine him contributing anything better than Burnie.

>They were also working under relatively tight budget and time constraints

YEAH, WE COULD TELL.

>The production team was very small, Hullum speculates the smallest one they've had since Season 8.

And yet Season 8 is a masterpiece. Much to think about. (Obviously Season 8 probably had more time & money and also Animator Georg (Monty Oum) but its interesting that Matt would bring this up.)

>They consider bringing Tex back to be Caboose's decision, not Church's. Church's plan was trying to bring himself back. They tried to imply this in the script without directly stating it.

Okay I did NOT pick up on this and this fucking rules. Caboose character arc real.

>There was a cut scene showing that Tex and Church spent a lot of time (relative to them) inside the memory unit before it was destroyed.

I'm assuming when they say "cut" they mean cut before filming. Because otherwise why would you trim scenes from your already way too fast paced plot. Also awww. Cute.

>There's another deleted scene where it's revealed Simmons has access to Grif's internet history. Both of them are uncomfortable about this.

CUTTING THE GRIMMONS BAIT. I SEE HOW IT IS.

>Donut is Geoff Ramsey's favourite character.

WELL THAN. WHERE WAS HE. ANSWER ME GEOFF.

[bruce--yamada]

“ The seasons. ”

This includes - Finbin/Rinney

Pt one / ??

"Earth to Robin Arellano? Hello? Can we please get back to studying? I don't want to fail this semester because you are fantasizing about your boyfriend" Robin looked at him and sighed. "He's not my boyfriend, Griffin, and I'm not fantasizing about him.. That's weird. He's my best friend! He's just, always on my mind during winter time. Like, how his freckles disappear because of the snow, or the fact his hair gets a bit lighter."

Robin ranted a bit, the only reason he likes winter was because of Finney, it was Finney's favorite season! Robin wouldn't like it if it wasn't for Finney. he definitely preferred the heat over the cold.

Robin let out a long dramatic sigh. "Do you think he'll ever notice that I've been in love with him?" Griffin gripped his book, it was borderline close to breaking. "Can you stop fucking going back and forth? Do you like him or do you just see him as a best friend? Holy fucking hell man, I mean. Vance Hopper was able to admit that he liked someone. JUST FUCKING SAY YOU LIKE HIM." A rip came from the page. Griffin let out a long dramatic sigh. "I need to go get a new book. You think about your crush and what you're going to do about it."

Griffin got up and went to go get a new book, Robin watched him and sighed. He knew Griffin was right, he was always going back and forth. "I don't love Finney, he's my best friend." "I'm utterly in love with him." He knew that had to be annoying to their group.

As Robin thought about things, Billy sat down across from him. "Where's Grif?" He looked down at the ripped book. "Oh, did you upset him? God, he needs to work on his angry issues. Or stop hanging around Vance.." Robin looked at him. "Definitely upset the kid." "You were talking about Finney again, right?" Robin nodded, he was ashamed. He talked about Finney a lot.

"Seriously Robin, you need to tell him how you feel. I mean, how much longer do you think you have until he realizes? Or moves on." He mumbled that last bit. Finney and Robin were always talking about each other to the group, everyone knew they had a thing for each other.

"I don't know Billy. I just worry that maybe he won't feel the same about me, and I know you guys say he does, but I've made it so obvious that I like him! I'm just starting to think he doesn't." Billy was starting to get upset now. "Listen, the amount of times he has talked about you to the rest of the group is absolutely insane. He's in love with you and you're in love with him. So fucking figure it out."

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

"Hey Finn." Robin smiled as he wrapped an arm around the curly haired boys shoulder. "What's happenin'?" It was always the same. "Hey Finn, what's happening?" "Oh you know, keepin' on keepin' on." "Good. How about you?" "Oh god Finn, are you gonna kill me today? Please- Whatever I did, it wasn't my fault, it was probably Vance's fault!" Finney nudged him with his elbow and Robin dramatically moved with the bump. "Shut up smartass. I'm not gonna kill you, yet." Robin raised his hands.

"Yet? Mi Amor, I swear. You don't have to kill me, I don't piss you off that much." Finney looked at him, he went red a bit. "Mi Amor? What does that mean?" He knew exactly what it meant, he was in Spanish two. "O-Oh, uh. It means best friend. Yeah." Robin went red and scratched the back of his neck. Finney nodded. "Uh huh."

"Uh, so um Finn. Wanna go like, I dunno.. Walk around in the snow later? Hang out 'n shit." He kicked some dirt and rocks on the pathway as they walked. "Sure mi amor." Robin stopped a bit as he froze, he couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face. He went a bit red. "Okay- Uh- Y-Yeah." He struggled to say anything.

"See you then, Robin." He smiles as he slipped into his class. Robin was left standing there, his stupid grin and his ever growing red face.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

"He called me, mi Amor." Robin said with his stupid smile. Vance glared at him. "What did you tell him it meant?" Robin blinked and sighed, his smile going away. "Best friend.." Vance let out a loud laugh, Griffin glared at Vance before looking at Robin. "He's in Spanish two, you know?"

Robin felt his heart drop out of his chest. "WHAT." He yelled. "Yep, you fucking dumbass. I thought you knew everything about him dickwad." Vance added. Robin stared down at the table, how could he forget? He did know he was in Spanish, he just forgot. "Dumb fucking puta." He slumped down, letting his head drop onto the table with a loud thump.

He put his arms over his head. "I can never look at him again. I've failed, I'm supposed to know everything about him.. How stupid am I..?" Vance looked at Griffin then Robin. "Shut up, he said it back. Take it as a win dumbshit." Griffin slapped the back of Vance's head. "Shut up, damn. Robin, it'll be fine. You'll live."

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Tehe PT 2 WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT !

[weatheredlaw]

what i liked about rvb: restoration (spoilers ahead)

okay i've spent a lot of time complaining to some friends today about what i didn't like about restoration, so i'm going to tell all of YOU what i did like, because i don't like to inundate myself with negativity!

Caboose

as a caboose fan, as a caboose girlie, as someone who has written a bunch of caboose fic - i fucking stayed winning last night. burnie keeping caboose knowing how to speak spanish was excellent. caboose was treated so well, he really wasn't the butt of a joke (the bit about epsilon programming in the "shut up caboose" lines was very funny to me, it's peak church and caboose and the fact that they came out and weird times was so so funny)

follow-up caboose point: i LOVE that he's too unpredictable for epsilon, it's truly caboose in a nutshell. and he was treated as capable and able to do things. he was also so GOOD. i'm absolutely not over this and i probably never will be:

caboose deciding to bring back tex because he wanted them to win? flawless. no notes. excellent.

Grimmons

i knew as soon as it was announced that burnie was writing this season that we were not going to get the grimmons ending of our dreams (yes i saw that google drive, yes it haunts me forever) but this isn't about what we didn't get

it's been 21 years since "why are we here" and i loved the shots of the two of them standing together. it always feels right when they're a pair, no matter what's happening.

i'm going to take what i got and write the fix it fic later. simmons gave grif what he always wanted - a way out. he gave him those papers, he said "here, you can leave, no strings attached" and the almost first words out of grif's mouth were: "come with me." it's romance, to me. i'll take it.

willing to go out in a blaze of glory together. say no more.

Sarge

i really wasn't sure if this was going to be a joke or not when it started happening. meta!tucker pulled out his sword and sarge was too close to the door and i said outloud GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR and damn

i know it was SUPER cheesy, but i was a fan of the sarge-grif interaction there at the end. sarge's animosity for grif has always been played up for laughs, but the last few seasons (retconned simulations or not) really strengthened red team. and the chorus trilogy did, too.

man i loved these lines:

(this shot makes me miss donut so bad but this is about what i liked, not what bothered me so please take this shot of sarge and the boys)

also sarge going back for caboose was so so so so good to me. "one of us" - yeah man, caboose is one of your boys. you gotta go BACK for your BOY. and he fucking did. i really wasn't sure if this death was going to stick, it got me pretty hard. (he didn't HERK-BLEH so idk if it counts but)

Tucker/Sigma

META!TUCKER RULES

conceptually, i fucking love this. i think it would have been nicer to get a bit more pre!meta tucker and see what was going on. his absence is handwaved a bit but if i'm able to remove seasons 15-18 from my brain, i'm able to focus more and say yes, ok.

i do have questions, like what was he acting like? did he do anything strange? did he disappear RIGHT away or did he linger and then go? it seems like wash doesn't know, and i think if wash knew tucker was the meta, he'd have been a lot more concerned (the bit at the end with wash and doc and tucker being taken care of was nice)

but i'm OBSESSED with this idea that tucker's stuck in there and he doesn't want to be there. really genuinely i love sigma and how nasty that little shit is. it's interesting that epsilon has the memories, but sigma still knows EXACTLY what the director did to the alpha and, even while it hates him for that, it's completely willing to use that on another person:

and THIS PART:

ugh MY BOY. it was nice to have tucker back, i was sad we had to see him like this and i wish we had more time with this concept, it's very delicious and it's one thing i do LIKE about the later seasons being retconned.

Wash and Doc

okay so i had to go back and watch some of the last episode of season 13 to understand this better, because i hadn't watched season 13 in a REALLY long time. once my memory was jogged i understood what was happening better. to recap, if you're like me and forgot:

wash and carolina were on the evac ship headed towards the reds and blues. after they win their fight post-epsilon death, it seems that the evac goes wrong and wash is injured. in that scuffle, doc dies getting wash to safety. this seems to be a breaking point for wash and doc manifests as a hallucination that Dr. Grey seems to be aware of. she never address that it IS doc, but she (and ADMIRAL FUCKING DONUT OK) are aware wash isn't doing well.

this was something i saw on reddit - doc being dead was foreshadowed pretty well! here's the image from the reddit page:

one shadow! i'm sure a lot of y'all saw this but i was busy thinking wash didn't sound like shannon mccormick (it was him! he just isn't talking about the show online really it seems - i haven't checked his tumblr for a while, but he's p much silent on twitter, i assume he came back after some negotiation because he and RT no longer work together, even before RT was dissolved)

EDIT: upon rewatching this it appears to move WITH doc but i do LIKE the one shadow thing so i'm gonna stick with this

also doc disappears from frame whenever other people are talking. no one ever addresses him, and i assume because he says doc's name while talking about the meta, Dr. Grey is like ah yep he's hallucinating again.

upon first viewing i thought this was a little rushed, and i still believe it was kinda shoved in there at the end, but after sitting with it and doing a little season 13 refresher, i actually really like this and i think it's very bittersweet. wash doing his best to cope with his guilt and thinking about the person who saved him and having them live on like this is incredibly hard, but it also feels incredibly REAL for his specific history and trauma

Other things

carolina coming when wash calls for her

wash BREAKING HIS LEG to call his best friend like dude wtf

simmons still wanting to save tucker, knowing he isn't the one who killed sarge

the work from home security guards. it's funny. it's really funny.

"i hate the future"

sitting around the fire and remembering! i cried! THIS SHOW AND I GREW UP TOGETHER

the trocadero song. it fucking got me.

tex and carolina fighting the meta. just. bad ass.

the framed photo of wash's cat

the AI's bickering in tucker's head. theta saying "he's tired and scared." delta comforting theta.

geoff really delivered grif's lines. they were SO unhinged i loved them.

speaking of VA's - michael malconian! honestly i was so worried when joel was fired that we were going to lose caboose forever. it made me SO sad to think about, but when they started making some PSA's and kind of made some jokes about the voice change (and in restoration!) i was much more hopeful. i really think he did a SUPER good job capturing caboose. my favorite scene in red vs blue is caboose saying goodbye to church in season 15 - and i think my second is now michael's delivery of caboose telling tucker he's already forgiven him if he decides to kill him. he just totally knocked it out of the park.

and just speaking of...him.

there's a lot i wasn't happy with, and i guess i could make a list about that, too. i feel like it's a lot of things y'all probably weren't happy with either, but this is what i DID love. and i think there's some more i'm just not remembering and i think i will come to really love this. someone already said it best imo: it was good enough and that's ok. i grew up with this show, seeing it end was incredibly emotional for me, but it feels right to say goodbye.

bow chicka bye now.

[taocc-updates]

Hi everyone, important PSA for all TAOCC members.

Recently, Mod Grif ( @/gryphonanon) has admitted that they're in their late 20s. The reason they brought this up is due to how the rest of us reacted in a Magma call based on learning Viewer's age (27, but this ain't about him).

Grif has said and will gladly say again that they have no intentions to make anyone uncomfortable, and has said they'll leave or stop interacting with anyone who is uncomfortable with the age gap. We all (Grif + people in magma vc) have agreed to inform everyone else about this via PSA, which is what I'm doing right now.

They do apologize for not saying anything sooner, and felt it was too late once they realized how young some members of TAOCC are. Again, they don't want anyone to be uncomfortable and are alright not interacting with anyone who's uncomfortable with the age gap.

This is all I'll say, based on the fact that they can speak on their own behalf better than I can for them, but this is the basics of it.

Just an important thing for everyone to know, thank you for reading. And before I close this out, please don't send any hate to them or anyone else if you believe they shouldn't be part of TAOCC, they have no malicious intent and are more than happy to not interact with anyone who is not comfortable with the age gap.

I hope this has been easy enough to read and understand, and once again thank you everyone in TAOCC for taking time to read this.

[twicethetrouble]

Late night realization:

Didn’t Simmons work with Tex at MOI? He was clean up with her. Have they ever talked? There’s so much potential there!

Ref: Runaway freelancer Simmons AU

Also how much better does Simmons thinks Sarge is as a father figure? Leaps and Bounds better?

How vague was Carolina when she gave Grif the shovel talk?

Oh god, Wash stumbling across the helmet Simmons wore at MOI and yeeting it at his head and demanding where got it (fearfully).

Something like that. Omg Simmons, Wash, and Carolina teaming up or doing some secretive shady skulking around when they aren’t actually up to anything.

Or wash gets a random nightmare about the demolition expert one night after seeing Simmons face.

Him getting fatherly for some reason because of Epsilon’s memories. Like a pat on the shoulder and the urge to threaten Grif. That’d probably be too silly to be real though.

….Grif getting jealous Simmons is hanging out with Wash and Carolina and not telling him what they’re doing or talking about.

Well they are married so there’s no way it’s anything that’d take his husband a way from him. He’s not even into Simmons like that so it doesn’t matter either way. Why does Simmons laughing and smiling with other people make him angry? Nah, can’t be him. Can’t be….. He needs a cigarette.

“Where did you even get that? I thought you ran out of cigarettes?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me what you’re doing with those blues?”

“They’re not blues, Grif! They’re freelancers, empathize on free.”

“Just like I’m free not to tell you where I got these.”

“So there’s more than one?”

“What does that matter?”

“…”

“…”

Simmons and Grif then wrestled for the cigarette pack he’s hidden on his body. Carolina walks in. They stop.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“….Get…. THE FXCK OFF HIM!”

“It’s not what it looks like!”

“Protect me lamp!”

-Yeah! Simmons did work with Tex on occasion, mostly for, as you said, clean up/demolition work. I don't think they talked much while he was on the MOI, at least not outside the mission. I think they both recognized each other in Blood Gulch, but kinda pretended they didn't. Simmons b/c he didn't want to bring attention to himself, while Tex was like "oh, That's South Carolina. Is he trying to be covert?... I'll let him think he's being covert. I have bigger issues than a run away demolition tech."

-As for sarge, Simmons probably thinks he's like the best father figure ever lol. (then again, the only thing he has to compare to is the Director, who was very much a dick to him, so even a half-crazy old man obsessed with war is loads better than that.)

-Carolina probably wasn't very vague about her shovel talk lol. She's not exactly the subtlest when it comes to, well, anything. She probably gave him a very detailed list of what she'd do to him if he so much as thought of hurting her brother. One that would have Grif terrified of even looking the dude's way for the next week lol.

-That would be hilarious! Unfortunately Simmons blew up his old armor as a sort of 'resignation letter' when he left the MOI. So not entirely possible.

-But wash being vaguely reminded of Demolition Tech whenever he's around simmons would be funny. Like he's just sitting there half-panicking like ''Why does this guy remind me of the demoition tech. is it because he knows a lot about explosives and once mocked me for needing to use c4 to blow up a suit of armor? I know he somehow knows how to explode armor with just an alarm clock but that doesn't match Demolition Tech's skillset. Does it???" He finds out later that Simmons and Demolition Tech are the same and he's just like "That's why?! I wasn't going crazy!" lol : )

and lol!! : ) Poor Grif cannot catch a break with Carolina around. He just wants to hang out with his husband and it is not working out at all lol.

Thank you!

[banamine-bananime]

the forum werewolf game ever. of all time: day seven

Start reading here!

With the three original wolves voted out and village not being willing to seriously talk about conversion (despite the frankly hilarious fact Sheila being converted has been brought up at least twice as a joke), village is totally lost. Doc sums it up in gif form:

Mod 2 gets back to his midday fanfictions:

"You know Lopez? We don't really hang out a lot." "Yeah, I know. I'm okay with that, Tucker." "I mean since we've both been with interspecies chicks, we should be friends. Freaks of a feather and all." "You got pregnant by an alien in a plan to destroy the universe. Shiela and I love each other. That's totally the same thing." "C'mon man, dish the details, how far have you gotten with Sheila? Did you get into her tread skirt yet?" "..." "You get it? You know what I mean Lopez?" "..." "I'm talking about some bow chicka wow wow!" "Why couldn't a roomba have been born?"

I... don't actually know what Mod 2 meant by "why couldn't a roomba have been born". I'm going to take it as Lopez yearning for fatherhood. I really don't understand what goes on in Mod 2's head most of the time.

Sheila is so deep in her post-conversion depression and incredulity that she's getting away with this that she just straight-up takes pity on village and brings up the possibility of a conversion. Church fights her on this:

LOL. yeah. she sure does.

Sheila, like a liar:

People continue to mill around in confusion and get distracted and off-topic to the point of mass modkill threats.

The Meta, now yet another treestump, chimes in ("wolves are the best village sux whooo"):

Lopez translates, completely incorrectly, and no one corrects him:

Donut suddenly starts screaming that Andy needs to die RIGHT NOW:

This isn't how the bomb ability works, and good god, should this player ever know that after how many years he's played.

I'm sure people will take this outburst well.

Andy:

Sheila - NO WEREWOLFING WHILE DRIVING WHAT ARE YOU DOING GIRL:

Lopez:

Suspicion starts getting thrown around at both Donut and Andy. Donut tries to take the heat off himself by revealing his seer ability, but has to admit he hasn't gotten any results from it.

Church:

Donut then has to sheepishly explain his forgot to do it -> forgot to do it -> blocked track record.

Donut and Andy duke it out. Donut:

Andy:

Village is thoroughly distracted by this fight and entirely forgets to worry about "if there were a conversion, who would wolves have chosen to convert?" RIP village.

Wait! Lopez is thinking about it:

Damn shame everyone ignores him.

Tucker is on a camping trip probably stuck in a desert temple somewhere, and therefore completely absent from the thread.

Vote closes.

Donut (2) - Andy, Sheila Andy (3) - Grif, Donut, Lopez Lopez (1) - Doc

(the no teamkills mechanic got turned off once the roster was too small. However - I think more out of habit than anything - the Reds still tried to kill Blues and the Blues still tried to kill Reds. Shakes my head fondly. What freaks. They know the teams are meaningless but they're still ride or die for them.)

Mod:

Just kidding.

Next: night 7