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The new Martha Wells book-- Witch King-- is fucking delightful if you like slightly complex fantasy that doesn't hold your hand. This is a book that never ever commits the sin of explaining stuff to a character that should already know about it for the sake of the audience. Exposition only happens in ways that are natural and logical, which sometimes means stuff just isn't explained.
It's not as obviously accessible as The Murderbot Dairies is-- it's plot is a little more opaque, there's more moving pieces, it's less directly comedic-- but man I like it and Kai is in someways a similar protagonist to Murderbot. Powerful but vulnerable and often just a little out of his element. Lonely in the face of a lot of people who are afraid of him.
Its very much a found family story. Like, literally. The book goes back and forth between the past and the present. The parts of the narrative that are set in the past are about Kai meeting the people who become his family, and the parts of the narrative set in the present are about him going to find members of that family that have gone missing. Family is a theme that's always there.
In spite of the swap in narratives there was never a moment where I was listening to one half of these stories wishing I could get back to the other one-- they were woven together very well and I found them equally compelling.
Anyway I am very certain there are people who saw there was a new Martha Wells book, then saw it wasn't Murderbot and decided to peace out. Some people probably won't but I think it's worth trying. Tor released enough excerpts that you can get a feel for what it's like and decide if you'll like it or not. The mystery is fascinating and, like Murderbot, it's casually queer in a really good way. Martha Wells clearly loves her a lesbian power couple.
#i listened to the audibook and the narrator is also very good#martha wells#witch king by martha wells#witch king#god i hope this is the first in a trilogy#reviewing partially because i saw someone be shitty this isn't a murderbot book and this offended me#writers can and SHOULD do new things#deal with it
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Actually thinking more about Reiju's only sin being a woman and... Going into more depth, I know that logically/canonically she's smart and empathetic enough to not want to be in her brothers' place. She doesn't want to be an heir/ successor or follow the family's footsteps at all. She knows they're bad. She sees herself as such, too, unable to change/be different like Sanji was. She doesn't think she can bring her mother's kindness to this world the way Sanji does, so she sticks to what she knows, whether it is to protect Sanji too or to accept her fate.
BUT (and bear with me for a second here, I know I have been watching too much Succession lately) we also do know that during her childhood she didn't do anything to help Sanji from the abuse. She watched it happen because that was the way things went there and because she knew what would happen to her if she did. Of course, she ends up helping him escape and taking care of him but-- I'm just thinking, for a tiny little moment, about how she's actually the oldest.
She should be the heir. She should be the person everybody views Ichiji as. She should be considered the most responsible. The smartest. The strongest one. The one who should take the throne. And she doesn't even want it now, but what about back then? What about when she did have some little, tiny faith/hopes for her family and what they did? She sought approval and naively thought "my father is going to offer me the place I rightfully deserve, right?" blindly seeking acceptance like all of them did.
But no, because she might be the oldest but Ichiji is a man. She might be the strongest, the smartest, the most reliable... But she is not a man. And I believe there must have been a time when she expected her destiny to be something more, and once she realized she was just a woman in their eyes... Well, we know what happened.
I just keep finding similarities between The Vinsmokes (OP) and The Roys (Succession) and perhaps my headcanon of Reiju being similar to Shiv has gone a bit too far. But the scene where Shiv is like "This is real?" when Logan promises she'll be the CEO and he goes "This is real. Remember this. The slant of light" for it to be a lie later is something I fear could have happened with Reiju and Judge if Oda had given us more content,,,,
#guys i might be mentally ill when it comes to the vinsmokes i keep making up content and background that does not exist#ik reiju's character doesn't focus on this/the whole point is her being treated as just a woman bc of having feelings & yet being reliable#but let me dream of a more complex story behind all of this okay#she ends up helping sanji bc she refuses to keep seeing him suffer but what if something else had also happened back thennn#what if judge had destroyed her hopes of something more??? and with that she realizes first-hand how shitty everything is#and she also hates herself for not having helped sanji sooner#and she does believe it IS a bit sanji's fault for being weak but she's also aware that that weakness is kindness#i am very sad this is so shiv and roman coded i am jumping off a bridge#roman and sanji being similar is also on my list btw#not fully sanji bc i also think roman applies to niji but there's some stuff there okay#“what have you got on your fucking hand?” “idk fucking love?” is something so sanji to me okay okay#but at the end of the day isn't sanji just tom wambsgans in this essay i will-#one piece#vinsmoke reiju#vinsmoke judge#vinsmoke family#succession#shiv roy#robin stop mentioning succession this is an anime blog
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Obviously it's too soon to tell, but I do hope they go Spite = Love/Affection in the narrative for Spite and Lucanis. Imagine it beginning with Spite being a brat, then starts to egg Lucanis on about certain things (spend more time with Rook, we both like them, ect), and then ultimately helping Lucanis learn how to advocate for himself
#how to learn self-love out of spite#I'm just super intrigued by all the ways this could go#and I hope Spite isn't just a shitty little turd the entire time lmao#veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#veilguard#dragon age#spite#lucanis dellamorte
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#Silence#arknights#shitpost#this is one of the first things I'm making by way of drawing pad#I will continue to be annoying about it until I'm halfway decent#more to come#is this recognizable as silence?#the way medic operators sometimes just throw medicine at people when they don't use arts has always been funny to me#I hope this isn't too unoriginal#especially considering how shitty the art is#art
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got some sketches of the band au
Note: these are not final, design's are likely going to change when i eventually clean them up. they all technically have 2 outfits (onstage n offstage) these are just the onstage fits
idk what to make the tag for this au tbh "kinitopet band au" seems kinda boring... ANYWAYS! Have a terrible overview of the concept so far. n the band members too ig
Meet the KinitoBAND (placeholder name while i think, i'm open to suggestions though). They're a rather niche yet beloved band who play a multitude of different genres. all of their songs have a rather upbeat nature, or, they used to. lately they've been leaning more into rock and sometimes it just gets a little... strange... wonder why that is? they're actually more like vocaloids(???) that are programmed like Kinito with the react response algorithm (Kinito's i more advanced, but they've all got it) so if they ever did interact it'd be alright. the programmer (Sonny C) had initially only meant for there to be a vocalist but there was a decision somewhere to make a band (so there's a drummer and a guitarist too)
Let's get into the characters
Kinito The vocalist + tech Kinito is a fan-favourite, to be expected of the one who is always in view front 'n center. personality-wise he's similar to his canon counterpart, just a bit (emphasis on bit) more chill. i've imagined him to get a little... parasocial with his fans who probably just went for the music. he has a bit of a persona on stage, you could say. he's more energetic and in general might be a little more aggressive than usual, especially lately.
Sam The drummer Sam isn't quite as popular as Kinito, but he's got quite a few fans who might not gravitate towards Kinito like almost all the promotional material wants you to or people who like the drums. personality - Sam has a calm, almost 'cool guy' demeanor. he acts relitivley the same on and off stage. Jade the guitarist Jade, unfortunately, is the least popular member of the band. She's got a couple devoted fans, but noticeably less than the others. just as intended. personality- she's quite resourceful and the most upfront about things of the band. she's generally louder than the others, not on purpose, she's just not the best at maintain a good speaking volume.
#silverware's art#kinitopet#kinito the axolotl#sam the sea anemone#jade the jellyfish#kinitopet band au#yeah i've noticed people like kinito the most. then sam. which leaves jade off to the side..#so i included that!#also sonny is like. LONG (not that long maybe a few months-) DEAD here. kinda work related. barely relevant to this au#marketing was so shitty to sam n jade man...#(in the au. that is)#jade plays the bass. just a fun fact.#sorry man kinito doesn't make a world for you here. you get. uh. different gift ig..#anyways i hope you can play an instrument#sonny isn't quite the sun in this au.. he's rpresented by one though. so. kinda#it is WAYY too hard to not spoil the little plot i have..
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Salty rant v2
This is basically me angrily screaming about Ford again (wow what a surprise) to a wall (myself, my rotten brain and my blog) so feel free to skip this
Fuck it I'll bite
Gf fans when you tell them Ford had every right to be mad at Stan for ruining his Project (he saw it as the only chance to prove himself and get accepted in his dream school, and even tho WE know it was an accident, Ford doesn't he thinks it was a purpose sabotage and it really doesn't help that Stan didn't told him which resulted in him making a fool of himself Infront of ppl he wanted to impress and then Stan tried to pass it off as something that didn't matter even tho it mattered so much to Ford, like of course he'd be mad everyone would be mad in his position)
Gf fans when you tell them it's not Ford's fault that Stan got kicked out it's all Filbricks fault (seriously guys, blame the fucking abusive father, not the 17 year old living in an abusive household)
Gf fans when you tell them standing up against an abusive person (especially if they're your parent) is hard to do for yourself let alone for someone else
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wasn't the "golden/favourite child" Filbrick dgaf about him and only wanted to use his intelligence for money and both Ford and Stan were abused just in different ways (seriously find a different dynamic to describe an abusive household than "golden child" and "scapegoat" I say as I put a gun in your head)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to go to college isn't egotistical
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to make a name for himself doesn't make him egotistical (he literally grew up in an abusive household, and was bullied and treated like an outcast for most of his life, him seeking out validation is a trauma response not egotism)
Gf fans when you tell them if Ford is petty for correcting Stan's grammar then Stan is equally as petty for refusing to hold his hand over a thank you literally seconds ago (of course he had the right to want him to thank him and be mad, but it was the END OF THE WORLD, they are both responsible in that scene)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford isn't ignorant for being manipulated by Bill cuz 1) Bill is a master manipulator who's managed to manipulate and terrorise humanity since forever using lies/flattery/fear 2) despite having a high IQ he has a low EQ and therefore isn't able to tell if someone has ill intentions due to being....an outcast and therefore doesn't have the social skills to be able to tell others true intentions/manipulations which made him an easy victim for Bill (do u guys even know what manipulation means)
Gf fand when you tell them the reason why Ford didn't try to reach out to Stan was because he thought he was doing fine since he had seen an ad of his on tv (he had no way of knowing Stan was still homeless anymore, and you don't usually see homeless people's ads on tv), not because he didn't care
Gf fans when you tell them Ford didn't force Fiddleford to do shit for him, and that he was against the use of the memory gun and wanted him to get rid of it but Fiddleford literally erased his memories of it so he could continue using it. And that therefore Ford isn't to blame for everything that happened with the memory gun just cuz Fiddleford had bad coping mechanisms. (Seriously you all are acting as if he pointed the memory gun on his head and forced him to abandon his family and build him the portal. No!! Fiddleford made those decisions himself he could had left Gravity Falls at any moment and return to his family but no he didn't, he chosed to stay and start a fucking cult. That is on him. Not on Ford)
Gf fans when you tell them the way Ford acted during the time where he was literally being abused, manipulated and isolated by a demon is way more complex and naused than "ego! ego!".. because he was literally being abused and manipulated...
Gf fans when you tell them the reason why Ford called Stan to hide his journals wasn't because he only wanted to use him as a way to fix his mistakes but because he was literally really desperate and feared for the safety of the world and he didn't have anyone else he could trust and that he was hella traumatized due to being literally tortured both physically and phycological and sleep deprived and on the bring of insanity (of fucking course he wasn't gonna act logically and say mean shit he didn't actually mean, he was losing his mind! Stan had also said mean shit to him because he was angry but nobody talks about that)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford being mad at Stan for opening the portal is understandable, because 1) he literally ignored all the warnings that the portal could potentially destroy the whole world and 2) he was literally about to FINALLY killing Bill after 30 years of fighting for his life in the multiverse to try and find a way to
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's trust issues are completely understandable because he was literally betrayed, manipulated and abused by the "person" he trusted the most (Bill). And the other two people he trusted did something that hurt his trust on him (Fiddleford erasing his memories, Stan ruining his project)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's and Bill's relationship isn't "toxic yaoi/messy divorce!" And that it was incredible abusive and that FORD was a victim ( average gf fan claims they "don't romantize/support the toxic ((call it abusive guys, that's literally what it is)) elements of this ship I just like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction:) *proceeds to make 10 posts of "he fucked the triangle!" jokes and gets mad at you if you actually point out the abuse and makes 100 aus where they get back together/stay together*
Gf fans when I tell them that I really don't care about what Alex has said about Ford being "egotistical" or "ignorant" because that's also the same guy who said he didn't intended for Pacifica to come off as a victim of abuse because controlling your child with a bell is total normal parent behaviour guys (/s). (I stopped listening to most of the stuff he said after that, not gonna lie, cuz most of the stuff he says about Ford's "ego" and "ignorance" are flat out victim blaming) ((I mean come on guys, he literally says he based Ford's and Bill's relationship off REAL LIFE toxic relationships he's seen and then he goes and says shit like how it's Ford's own "ego and ignorance" fault that he's ended up in that situation. Don't you guys think that's a bit weird))
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#okay I'm gonna be brave today and main tag this#I hope I won't regret it later#honestly the only thing I can't really defend him on is all that with dipper#but at the same time. he wasn't trying to separate them. he saw that dipper was like him and wanted to do what he thought was the best for#him.#okay he was projecting a bit with that “isn't it suffocating?” comment but at the same time#my dude's social skills had always been shitty and he literally hasn't interacted with a person in like 30 years#he wasn't fucking trying to manipulate him#something something#the way this fandom treats Stan's trauma vs Ford's trauma is so different and it makes me ick#people tend to sympathise with Stan while tone down the trauma and abuse Ford suffer because they don't see him as a victim#which is like bizarre to me I want to say that it's cuz he's not a perfect victim but neither is stan yet ppl still acknowledge his trauma#and I swear to god it wasn't as bad as this BEFORE tbob#my main theory atm is that it's the result of B1llford shippers wanting to desperately ignore the fact their ship is. in fact. abusive.#by trying to make out Ford to be this terrible selfish egomaniac monster as a way to say “look he's terrible too! they deserve eachother!”#and people acting being stupid enough to believe it (media literacy is dead nowadays)#and then stanley and fiddleford stans also started to desperately wanting to earse them of their own flaws and fucks uo to make them more#sympathetic by blaming everything on ford
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The trouble with discussing the s2 reunion expectations vs reality that I rarely see anyone mention is that nobody(?) predicted it would happen with Ed completely powerless, knocked out of his position by a mutiny that essentially killed him, so there's still a huge variable to take into consideration when talking about people "getting it wrong".
Like, yes, we can discuss it from a Doylist perspective - Jenkins chose to have it happen that way, rather than having Ed and Stede meet again when Ed was capable of saying anything to him, and what does it mean that the fandom largely didn't consider that as a potential dramatic scenario.
But conversely, the fact that he did choose to do that means that we still have no idea how it would have gone in the circumstances involved in most reunion fics - if Stede made it back to Ed before he'd successfully committed suicide by crew. Given his choice to push Stede away through most of Fun and Games, I think people who wrote him as hostile weren't far off, actually! But there's no way of knowing how hostile he might have been, or if he'd have completely snapped out of it.
(TBH I also think it's a bad idea to assume that scenarios people write fic about = their expectations for canon, but that's a different matter.)
#this isn't a subtweet of any specific meta i just feel like I've seen several of them#and as someone who wrote multiple reunion fics that failed to predict Ed's death#they make me feel a bit shitty tbh! sorry for not being psychic#the only reunion fics I didn't like were the ones where Stede came back and was upset about Izzy lol#i love the genre and i hope we keep writing aus of it#i should write out a full post on that last bit but the tldr is that we're all writing what we find narratively satisfying#and the majority of us know that thats not necessarily going to line up with canon#which is what makes it extra fun when you hit something they end up doing#ofmd#ofmd meta
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I'll pry Dante and Vergil from incels with my bare hands. Go to hell with that macho alpha bullshit
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One thing I noticed is that Lucifer doesn't disassociate when singing, and what's one common factor in his songs? Charlie, so I like to imagine that in these instances he's so focused on her that his depression temporarily takes a back seat because he loves his kid so much that he forgets why he's sad in the first place.
ooh I like your headcanons!
hmm I guess we could look at this a couple of different ways (some of what I'm about to say comes from personal experience which may be different than what some other people experience so idk feel free to agree or disagree with my musings)
So dissociation doesn't [technically] affect your ability to speak, it affects your ability to focus. The way I was talking about it in my analysis was that it nerfed Lucifer's conversation comprehension, with him being unable to follow along the entire time (and consequently either has NO idea what anyone is talking about or only gets half the picture).
The only times Lucifer really fumbles his words is when he gets nervous around Charlie either cuz he's trying to make a good impression
Or when he realizes his depression is biting him in the ass and he just missed crucial pieces of information and cannot bluff his way through the conversation
Although shout out to that one time we caught him realizing he needed to bluff and stumbled a little
But otherwise, he articulates himself perfectly fine, cuz again, dissociation isn't about speaking ability so much as it is about focus. Even in my bouts of dissociation I can verbalize myself just fine for the most part, it's whether or not what I have to say is relevant to the conversation, which uh Lucifer also showed off at some point when he thought Charlie was asking him about the hotel's appearance rather than her actual plan to redeem sinners and comments on the railings. (Or idk there is another interpretation that he was avoiding the subject, maybe it was both he disassociated while Charlie was explaining everything to him but did catch that she wanted to redeem sinners at some point, but didn't quite understand what she was asking until she clarified? he didn't seem surprised when she did clarify so I'm assuming he ended up catching it at least once)
So I'm bringing this up because it ends up being kinda hard to tell whether or not he is or is not disassociating when he sings, cuz the dissociation wouldn't affect the singing at all.
When he's having a sing battle against Alastor, sure he's articulating himself well and presenting his points, but we don't actually know whether or not he's following along what Alastor is saying. Honestly, Lucifer vs Alastor just seemed like 2 territorial chickens yelling at each other trying to be louder than the other one. Maybe Lucifer is catching everything cuz his jealous and rage helped him focus for once, maybe he's not catching everything but he doesn't need to catch everything to know that he doesn't like Alastor and he doesn't need to focus to tell Alastor how much he dislikes him.
But what about the other two songs, "More than Anything" and "Finale"?
He is technically outright having a conversation with Charlie in the first one and in the second one, he seems fully aware of the context of the situation and is focusing more on a lifting spirits role
Well it could be a lot of things I think. I don't think it's that the depression or the sadness took a back seat, that's still present. From my own experiences, it is possible to get yourself to focus in a dissociative episode when the subject matter is something you're passionate about or in Lucifer's case, someone that he loves. We know the dissociation was unfortunately strong enough that it was making him miss out on a lot of things Charlie (aforementioned loved one) was telling him, especially in the beginning.
But looking at "More than Anything" what changed in that scene? He was with Charlie the entire episode but that was the first scene where he really managed to hold a conversation. I think it was a combination of: Okay his baby girl is there and she NEEDS him, and he opens up as to why he's hesitant about her plan. He's not explicit with the mention of his trauma, but trauma does make someone more alert. I'd also like to give a special shout out to @in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene who made these lovely tags on my analysis post
Specifically, I want to talk about that they mention that Lucifer is being a lot more genuine in his song with Charlie, aka he's not masking. He's not trying to hide or bluff how he's doing. He's not putting on a show, he's not being goofy or larger than life, he's being genuine and his genuine self is tired, sad and resigned. Let me tell you, my dissociation is 100% worse when I'm masking.
I think in "More Than Anything" a mix of things are going on, he's not needing to mask for a minute which boosts the focus, he's opening up about trauma and it's being gently received which boosts focus, and he's talking to someone he loves about something he was once passionate about which boosts focus. So ye! It could entirely be that in that song he was not dissociating!
As far as "Finale" I legitimately can't really tell whether or not he is? He's not really having a conversation with anyone, he's just trying to uplift his daughter, and again, in my experiences, dissociation doesn't necessarily nerf your ability to speak. We also know that he knows how to put on a show even in the depths of the dissociation like in "Hell's Greatest Dad" soooo as for that song... -shrug-?????
There is an element here that we have to take into account. Hazbin Hotel is a traditional musical, so we must look at a theater saying, "When the emotion becomes too strong for speech, you sing." Which is more or less what happened in all the songs Lucifer was a part in, so there's definitely some meta technical things going on in that a song wouldn't be very dramatic if the person singing it was dissociating the whole time? I mean I guess it could be done, I've just never seen it? Usually the musical number has to be clear in its purpose. The protagonist of Dear Even Hansen can sing just fine when any other speaking parts he fumbles with his words a lot.
AAAAAAALLL of this to say: Does Lucifer stop disassociating when he sings? -shrugs- I think it really depends on the context, but I wouldn't at all be surprised cuz high emotion can lead to greater focus in a moment. Although it's really cute to think that he doesn't dissociate cuz singing with Charlie is just that much of a boost for him cuz he loves his wittle girl
#Hazbin hotel#Lucifer#Lucifer Morningstar#Dissociation#Singing#Hazbin Hotel spoilers#I'm glad you sent me this ask#I've actually been thinking about this a lot tbh#But I've been so busy writing my depresso lucifer fic that I just haven't sat down to properly mull this over yet#Judging from the replies of my last analysis#I hit the nail on the head with a lot of people struggling with dissociation#So I hope that this will extend here as well#but everyone experiences shitty mental health a little differently as well#so I hope that what I'm using to make an analysis this time still rings true and isn't just a me experience#anyways#love the scrunkly#Very excited for season 2 now#meta#analysis#anon ask
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i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .
#hhhhHHHGHGHHHHHH#jay screams into the void#(deeply personal rant incoming feel free to ignore)#a friend of mine has just been undiagnosed with bpd which . lovely for them but it sure as fuck invites a Lot of questions#suddenly a great deal of previous shitty behaviour that was excused on the basis of bpd has a lot more to answer for#(obligatory I Know BPD Isn't An Excuse To Treat People Like Shit . im aware . i have bpd myself and i have v high standards re my behaviour)#(however allowances were made bc they were unmedicated & out of therapy through no fault of their own)#(and our whole group has enough experience with untreated mental illness to understand that it can make u a bitch sometimes)#but yeah no there have been a LOT of instances of b&w thinking + manipulation + unfair judgement + high emotion + snap reactions#and every situation Could be explained by untreated bpd and the bad times have never been prolonged or often enough to outweigh the good#but Hoo Boy if that wasn't bpd then what the FUCK was it#like either the new psychiatrist is wrong (possible but i seem to be the only one questioning it) or they're just Like That#and again . not enough to outweigh their numerous positive and loveable traits#but the whole group has been destabilised on a number of occasions due to their actions during a bad spell#and i'm really not sure Any Other Explanation is enough to justify that#ah well . this seems like the kind of thing that will eventually come up during a sleepover heart to heart#but rn i'm stuck in a bubble of MAJOR rsd & brainfuck abt it . which is unfortunate bc now is exactly the time i Don't need brainfuck#anyways ✨ goodnight tumblrinas i am . kind of hoping nobody read this bc i fear i sound like a bitch#i am genuinely happy for their undiagnosis it seems to have put many things into perspective for them & theyre v happy about it#i'm just . uncomfy w some aspects of it that i have only been halfway brave enough to discuss with them personally#That's One To Bring Up With My Therapist In A Few Weeks#Bit Of A Shame I'm No Longer In Therapy And Now Have Only 2 Quarterly Reviews Left Before I'm Discharged From The Service
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i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸
#i'm not coming back but :') hello#i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk#i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure#life is weird :')#remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design#welp i won an award for my design thesis :')#jsjdjdkdkdkdj#turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂#having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol#i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc#my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk#felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me??#:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird#i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭#now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend#time with them again and play games with them again :')#literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like#😭#god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :')#my life is good...#???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS#wild af#even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me?#ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj#:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super !#man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live#:') anyway#i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨#it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨
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doodled a lil April today cuz I adore her
#APRILLLLLLL O'NEILLLLLLLLL (OHMIGOSH SHE JUMPED RIGHT IN)#she deserves the world#and a job that treats her right#girl good on you for keeping all the keys to your shitty jobs over the years#i hope she uses them to get her bros into old workplaces so they can have cool hangouts at night and the public isn't around#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#rise april#april o'neil#tmnt#explodingstar art#my art#tmnt fanart
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Haven't been around long, but I have yet to see someone mention this scene in Splinter in the Blind Man's Eye? (Chapter 19) Cut off, as this may contain spoilers for the reader! (It addresses chapters 16 and 19 directly)
Okay, let me start by saying: I am aware this isn't technically canon, moreso "could-be-canon" (as stated by Tommy Andreasen). But why is no one talking about how Lloyd literally watched someone, who he saw much of Harumi in, get mauled to death by Nimbus? Along with him getting shot?? Followed by Clancee being tossed it after? Frankly, I love Splinter in the Blind Man's Eye. Whether canon or not, it demonstrates so much from Lloyd's perspective on just about all (exaggeration) that has impacted him greatly. But not only that, it does shit like this (image1). In addition to that, I also just love this scene...
It's perfect, just about everything in Splinter in the Blind Man's Eye is. Specifically, here, I highlight due to its portrayal of Lloyd's grasp on the situation. He simply drops his weapon and calms the person before him, almost ignoring whatever is happening to him, because all that matters in the moment is comforting Pokee, even if it's only slightly. Hoping there is some visual (official-esque?) depiction of this unfinished tale. And hoping it gets finished! The endorphins are flowing right now... I cannot wait to reread this in a week lol
#lego ninjago#ninjago#Lloyd Garmadon#Splinter in the Blind Man's Eye#Ninjago Spoilers#could-be-canon#Hoping this isn't a shitty first-post#I dunno what I'm doing#Flintlocke ninjago#Wishmaster ninjago#Love that she calls him “greenie”#Tck chat
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Im gonna guess by the end of this neither skid nor pump nor lila are very popular with the town.
Is lila’s friendship with jaune affected by this at all?
Yeahh they're not, even though the bad reputation mostly comes just from the ones directly affected since they always get away with it somehow
They're pretty much the same since Jaune's reputation is the opposite, a lot of people like her, and even though they recommend her to talk to Lila or even talk about it behind her back she's not so affected by it. Plus she also asks Ross about it, and since he's forced to lie to her, she thinks that they're all exaggerating
But Jaune does know that Skid isn't an angel like he is next to his mom, kinda like "oh he's a little chaotic kid actually!"
They're childhood best friends after all so she believes Lila more than anyone else
#Wicked Month AU#spooky month#spooky month au#jaune spooky month#lila spooky month#skid spooky month#I feel like I wrote this a bit#shitty KAJDK#HOPE IT ISN'T THAT BADD
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hey this is Shitti and *holding ur hand* i love tsukishimaaaaaaa he's my favorite of the 7th division LOVE AT FIRST lizard nose. i was *SCREAMIN CRYING THROWING UP* during the last arc bc of him TOT
OUGHHH GRIPS YOUR HAND. TSUKISHIMA....
He actually stayed under my radar for a while but. You cannot hand me a pint-sized brick shithouse with a cute squished face and a distressingly atrophied sense of self and not expect me to eventually latch on. I think the arc with him and Tanigaki especially drove me insane...he tries so hard to be someone's weapon, no mercy, just mindless pursuit, but then it all falls apart to leave the pain that's been at his core for all those years.
(spoiler talk below)
AND THEN THE LAST ARC. I...was honestly expecting to lose him here, if I'll be real. It was giving me the vibe of a 'character doubles down on his fucked up mindset and it leads him to his end' kind of scenario. It's not surprising in the least, but it always kills me(positive) how he never actually breaks away from Tsurumi, it's just that Tsurumi is torn from him. Koito pleads for Tsurumi to set Tsukishima free...but I don't think Tsurumi could've done that if he even wanted to. It was always only up to Tsukishima, but after all those years of violence and manipulation he couldn't bring himself to make any other choice .
And that choice lead him back to the ocean. Again searching for a body, searching for direction.
Also this ask prompted me to look at a bunch of pics of him and I just remembered this panel that will never fail to compromise me.
#it was one of those things where like. yes a part of me wouldve loved to entertain a 'he and koito peaced out from the military' ending#but i think after everything. with all his baggage. his options were either waste away pining after the purpose tsurumi gave him#or find someone new to hold the leash#and i adore koito he cares so much about tsuki and im so glad hes there for him#but at the same time it isn't surprising his pride and loyalty(plus wanting to fix the damage tsurumi did) kept him tied to the army#so naturally tsukishima stays as well#SORRY FOR. THE RAMBLES. ITS BEEN A BIT SINCE IVE VISITED THE SERIES I HOPE ITS COHERENT#also hi shitti ty for the ask :D#golden kamuy#tsukishima hajime#asks#shittishittibangbang
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Anyone else out here haunted by the unknowns of recovery?
#got a doctor's appointment tomorrow#bout going back on some kind of antidepressant/anti anxiety meds#bc i NEED to. like. the anxiety in particular is really bad and it's stopping me doing Most things#but my brain may be a shitty place to live rn but i kind of know how it works#and i have things i can semi rely on to cheer me up and things i know i can still do#what if the funky new chemical cocktail idk. makes me lose interest in writing?#thay would suck!! ! i just rediscovered it!!!#but i also can't put getting better on hold just bc I've found a bit of a creative groove that i wanna hang on to yknow?#idk. obviously i hope that being on meds that work will make me MORE creative not less#bc maybe I'll be less anxious about everything being perfect and less anxious sbout putting it out there#but it's just that fear i guess of to tackle the unhelpful parts of your brain sometimes the parts you like get caught in the crossfire#i hope I'll become MORE myself not less#but I've been unmedicated for a while now#and my brain isn't a fun place to be but i understand it#idk what's gonna happen in the next few weeks#i hope it's good#mr. bees speaks
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