#//Esp since it for a Fact would be his first OVERALL

[dutybcrne]

I like to think that when it comes to his first time with his partner, Alhaitham treats the talk leading up to it like a fucken job interview-

[lutewife]

Hazbin Hotel reacts to...

Part 1:

A Lively Reader

Warnings: Cannibalism mentioned in Alastor's part, but overall it's pure fluff and crack. Notes: Had so much fun writing it, esp on Alastor's part haha! Also it reminded me of those gacha life reaction videos… If you know you know 😂 Dunno if I did it right, though, kind of looks like headcanons to me, but enjoy nevertheless! Oh, and I tried to write it gender neutral, hope you don't mind. This will be two parts, since it's easier for me to do it like that.

Charlie's probably the easiest one.

She is so, SO happy to have new residents, regardless of how they behave or look.

The first thing that will stand out to her, though is your colourful personality.

You match her energy? That surely is something new to this girl, but she absolutely doesn't mind. In fact, she is more than happy to have someone like that in the hotel.

If you are actually interested in redemption, EVEN BETTER. I think this lil' gal would literally burst with joy.

Would ask you lots of questions about the human world and listen with curiosity, since she didn't have a chance to be a human herself.

She'll probably recruit you to help her with hotel stuff, making an use of your lively personality to encourage potential residents to stay at the hotel, if you want.

Doesn't think much of your style, but she likes the variety of colours. It seems very refreshing to her.

About you liking physical touch: she will gladly let you hug her or something, she'll reciprocate happily. She really likes how your fur feels too!

Your relationship with your friend reminds her of hers with Vaggie a little.

I can actually see you becoming good friends!

Now, Vaggie probably likes you, because her girlfriend likes you, at first, let's be real haha

The first thing that will stand out to her is your looks. In her mind, it tells a lot about people. And you made a really friendly impression, despite sharing looks with a tiger, which is a generally dangerous animal.

But you are far from dangerous and that's what she likes about you.

At first, her and Charlie will be hesitant to allow you and your friend to go out much, because they are scared of you getting into trouble, since you just arrived at hell and aren't used to rules prevailing there, but eventually they will stop babying you two.

If she sees someone being mean or potentially trying to hurt you, she'll step in and protect you, mainly for Charlie's sake.

She doesn't want any new residents getting killed even before the chance to get redeemed.

Will probably get a little jealous if you're getting physical with Charlie, but if you gain her trust, she'll stop.

If you want to hug her, she'll accept, although she isn't that much of a touchy person as Charlie is.

Thinks your style is an eye-strain, but won't tell you that EVER. She believes that everyone should dress how they want.

Just like Charlie, your relationship with your friend reminds her of their dynamic.

Let's be honest, Alastor is an enigma when it comes to people.

You cannot immediately see what he thinks based on his reactions or expression.

I think that the first thing he would notice about you is your smile, if you actually are smiling. He appreciates people that wear it frequently. Otherwise he wouldn't care.

Just as he does to every resident: he would pity you and your friend. He also isn't so fond of new sinners and you aren't an exception.

Would probably warm up to you if you're cheerful. You might annoy him if you're too noisy, though.

As a jerk that he is, he would probably try to bullshit you into thinking some random untrue stuff about hell.

"Yes, my dear. Here in hell, we don't eat anything except our victim's flesh."

You would believe him and be scared shitless.

Charlie reassures you he was only making fun of you and scolds him afterwards, though.

He would absolutely not allow you to touch him. If you'd be trying to hug him, he'll probably step away from you, making you fall on your face. (I'm so sorry for this part, I needed to write it, it was just too funny HAHAHAH)

As for you and your friend's relationship, he couldn't care less. He thinks you're equal to each other.

Okay, now Husk's reaction is…

Nonexistent.

The first thing he would notice is that you're… Oh you're a tiger demon. He would raise his stupidly large eyebrow at this. Overall not much of a reaction. Wouldn't even say hi to you.

At first he wouldn't be a fan of your lively attitude, since he can't match your level of enthusiasm. But I mean I guess he'd think that's good for you.

After some time, though, he would warm up to you, since you're relatively friendly. Wouldn't mind hearing you yap for hours at the bar. He's used to it.

If you grow on him, he might start getting overprotective with you, especially when around Alastor.

He doesn't want you to end up like him, especially if you don't know what you're doing, yet.

(Alastor might purposely anger him by getting closer to you.)

He isn't a big fan of physical touch, either. If you hug him, he might get startled at first, but wouldn't mind. He won't hug you back, though.

Probably thinks your style is an eyesore like Vaggie, but wouldn't tell you, too. I mean he's not exactly the right person to judge.

Out of you two, he can relate to your friend most. Doesn't think of your dynamic that much.

Oh god this little gremlin…/a

Her first impression of you would probably be that you brought too much dirt after yourself.

Couldn't care less about where you come from, how you look and act if you're not a handsome bad boy.

At least at first.

Would notice you and your lively attitude if you respond to her chaotic behaviour positively.

You two would be an iconic, hyperactive duo. Charlie and Vaggie would literally have to stop you two from your shenanigans.

She would climb up your head or your shoulder randomly.

Would probably chomp your hand if you tried to hug her, but then give you the best small hug ever.

Loves your choice of clothing so much that when she cleans, she might steal your shirt and use it as a dress.

Okay, this guy is absolutely unhinged, as we know...

The first thing he notices is your fur, he thinks it's really nice and would probably try to pet you.

Will probably jokingly flirt with you at first. 

Would actually pity you and your friend, but it's not the same pity as Alastor's, he genuinely feels bad for you two, because he knows how terrifying it is to feel out of place in hell. You might do some things you're gonna regret for the rest of your afterlife...

That's why he silently assures you're not going near Val or the other V's, EVER.

Especially considering your friendly personality.

He likes that you're very lively, at least there is someone in this place with whom he can cause mischief and annoy the shit out of every resident.

Would try to annoy you, but fail miserably, and you probably end up annoying him instead. (Don't worry he still likes you)

Absolutely ADORES your sense of style, probably dresses you up and goes shopping for clothes with you.

He loves physical touch too! Would randomly lean on you or pat you on the head. If you try to hug him, he'll happily oblige and you'll get the absolute best hug ever. Out of everyone in the hotel, he is the best hugger, you can't tell me otherwise haha

Overall I can see that you'll get along pretty well!

Add. Notes: Hope you liked these little headcanons slash reactions idk what this is anymore, but yeah! If you enjoyed, don't be shy, repost and let me know in the comments, they are greatly appreciated! See you in the next one, darlings 🫶

[arcadianmoonshadowjedi]

Callum & Viren: Are they similar? Is Callum on the same path as Viren? - Star Wars Analogies

I know there have been posts made before in the Dragon Prince fandom comparing characters from tdp to Star Wars characters, esp Callum to Anakin/Vader as someone who will eventually get corrupted/turn to the dark side and become a potential apprentice to Aaravos, as well as Rayllum to Anidala in terms of Callum being seen as being bound to doom the world for Rayla.

I wanted to share a different perspective of mine as to which characters/relationship dynamics (outside of romantic ones included) from tdp I believe compare the most to which Star Wars characters as a massive fan of both sagas myself.

The number one character from Star Wars that I see Callum being most similar to is Luke Skywalker, whereas a character I think is the best comparison to Anakin/Vader, especially after watching Season 6 of the Dragon Prince, would be none other than Viren himself. While I do know for a fact that the tdp characters aren’t carbon copies of the SW characters I’m comparing them to, I still think that their overall arcs are quite matching.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Starting with Callum and Luke, on the surface, both are the hero who prevails and saves everyone & the whole world/galaxy from doom, but on a deeper level, they both struggle with a dark side inside of them & temptations to give in to it. And before I continue, I wanted to emphasize that I DO NOT see Callum as someone who’s morally dubious, as there are several instances in canon which prove otherwise, specifically his immense guilt over using dark magic and his fear of becoming corrupted and consumed by darkness in S6 (his nightmare at the beginning of episode 3 perfectly illustrates this), the latter of which is a challenge we also see Luke dealing with in The Empire Strikes Back.

Throughout the Original trilogy, mainly in ESB & Return of the Jedi, we see so many “hints” and “indicators” that Luke might turn to the dark side, who unlike Callum, actually shares many personality traits with his father such as his impatience and recklessness. We see Yoda fear that he might follow in his father’s footsteps before reluctantly training him, we see Vader and eventually Palpatine try to lure Luke to the dark side, even pointing out that they could sense his anger which is a major precursor for that. But in the end, despite all of those temptations, despite all of his anger and eventual fear & rage for his sister’s safety, he ultimately resisted and refused to join the sith.

Along with seeing many protagonists who may be put in similar situations or even in some cases share some similarities with the main/major antagonist, such as Harry and Voldemort being another example of this, this is why I am a firm believer that Callum will be tested in Season 7, he may be faced with temptations to use dark magic again perhaps as a quick means to defeat Aaravos or potentially save Rayla if it gets to that, or even Aaravos trying to bribe him to join him, but in the end he will ultimately resist, since dark magic, as stated several times before, is merely a shortcut that leads to much bigger long term harm (which I don’t think there would be enough time to even flesh this out in the final season of the Mystery of Aaravos arc). As we’ve seen Callum reject succumbing to his dark side after he used dark magic for the first time, and seeing him willingly do the purification ritual to rid himself of his darkness/corruption in his soul, I do believe that Callum has the power to reject dark magic once and for all and do the right thing (this does not necessarily mean he would sacrifice Rayla if the plot does get to that, but I do think he would find a third option aside from dark magic to save her, like he did back in S3 when he cast the mage wing spell to save her). After all, a major theme in the Dragon Prince is breaking cycles and not repeating previous mistakes, so what would be the point in having those themes or specifically Harrow’s letter in the first place, or better yet have the whole “destiny’s a book you write yourself” line be brought up multiple times if Callum’s just fated keep repeating past mistakes over and over again?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now onto my next analogy: Viren & Anakin/Vader, the characters who I genuinely saw as those whose corruption & downfalls may have started out of desperation to save a loved one from dying, but ultimately grew into greed and hunger for power.

I could go on about the complexities of Anakin’s character, specifically the ones that got fleshed out even more in the Clone Wars and how there are multiple factors that led to his turn to the dark side, but that’s not the whole point of this post. I know that there are some differing factors between both Viren and Anakin in terms of their dark sides/stories, but ultimately the last straw that led to their corruption was the fact that they were both terrified of losing an important loved one and both were completely unwilling to let that happen, whatever the price they had to pay. We also see them seek some sort of counsel/beg for help, like when Anakin vaguely told Yoda about his visions and fears, and Viren telling Kpp’Ar about Soren’s condition and needing the staff, ultimately both Anakin and Viren were told that there wasn’t really anything that could be done and they both needed to learn to let go. However neither of them were having that, so we somewhat see them both resort to another counsel, both very different but leading to same outcome. Anakin starts to open up more to Palpatine, who in turn manipulates him and convinces him that he has his “solution.” While Viren on the other hand, may have offered advice to Harrow to “do what he must” over his own dilemma, he in turn used that same advice but in a more twisted, corrupted manner. So then, both Anakin and Viren resort to darker approaches to solve their own problems and completely give in to their own darknesses.

I won’t go into deep detail about what they each did, since you can just rewatch these scenes in Revenge of the Sith and Episode 6 of TDP for that, but now I wanted to talk about how despite having the desire to save their loved ones, they ultimately caused massive harm to them. Anakin desperately did whatever he could to save Padme, but in the end, when he thought she betrayed him, he force-choked her then afterwards, she was shattered and heartbroken over his downfall that it led to her death, the very thing that Anakin tried so hard to prevent. While Viren on the other hand may have succeeded in healing and saving Soren, he grew to treat him coldly and abusively to the point where he completely damaged & even destroyed his relationship with his very son that he corrupted himself completely to save in the first place.

Even though I primarily focused on the similarities between Viren saving Soren & Anakin trying to save Padme, I also wanted to point out how similar the impacts were on Lissa and Padme as well, namely how they were both horrified when they saw what became of their husbands.

Sadly both of them ended up getting assaulted by their corrupted husbands, which then led up to the destruction of their families. And ultimately both Viren and Anakin continued on their dark paths and grew more ruthless, evil, and corrupted until they finally reached their eventual redemptions (I know not everyone thinks that Viren got redeemed but I do believe that his redemption arc was him accepting that he’s done far too much and accepting the consequences for his actions).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So far these are the thoughts that I have on which Dragon Prince characters/relationships I think compare best to which Star Wars ones. And I know that Claudia would also be a good comparison to Anakin since she too struggles a lot with loss and refuses to let go, but at the same time, I see her still being in Anakin’s early villain phase during Revenge of the Sith, not yet having reached the Vader levels that we see during the Original Trilogy era. The way I see Vader & Viren relationships with Luke and Callum’s characters, it’s that the former two represent what the latter two fear of becoming if they do not overcome their dark sides.

But to answer my questions in the header, I do not think that Callum is bound to be on the same path as Viren or that he will let himself be consumed by darkness. Season 6 dealt with his overall guilt over using dark magic, his fear of being consumed by it/being used as by Aaravos, and ultimately his choice to purify himself of his darkness and understanding the consequences of doing dark magic again beforehand. Just as many protagonists get put through the wringer in their final battles, but ultimately persevere and do the right thing, I do believe that Callum will win and not fall victim to his temptations once again.

That’s all I have folks! Thanks for reading this far if you have! And an important friendly reminder (as mentioned already in my bio) if you have differing opinions and would like to disagree and discuss, please be sure to do so respectfully. Otherwise scroll by or I’ll be more than glad to press that block button! 😊🙌🏽

(Screenshot+caption of Lissa scene by @stuck-in-jelly)

[sugudoe]

HI BABES <3 hruuuu

I've been on ur page for a while and was curious about the jjk matchup and wanted to try 😭

btw feel free to ignore this if u don't wanna do it 🫶🏻

-appearance wise- short? Not athletic at all, casual goth/alt kinda style hijabi/curly ASF short hair, (kinda really conventionally attractive according to shit ton of people ig😭?)

- schizophrenic? Borderline personality disorder and adhd 💀

-Quite smart actually but js lazy asf so usually no efforts

- procrastinates ALOT like that's a huge part of my life atp😭in literally everything

- not really the type to care for own health or anything

-Got a really bad rbf in public +not talkative AT ALL outside of home💀

a huge girls girl

-Really weird mood swings so either talk wayyy while making zero sense or fully mute

-Overall quite confident esp in own body and all so it's pretty hard for other person to win any argument/insult type of things

-Kinda narcissist? Like 1st priority is me so pretty hard to settle for anyone

-childish in relationships cuz ykk trauma🥰🫶🏻

- not taking ANYONES shi esp from partner soo.....

ANYWAYS THAT'S IT ILYYY BYEEE MWAH

my first sukuna!!!! i’ve been waiting for you mwah. this is true form!sukuna and heian!sukuna. also you’re so badass i got inspired to write a one shot, yay.

•⁀➷ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ﹫ 𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘢 ៹ ༉‧₊˚

sukuna does not give a fuck about anyone that isn’t him or uraume, so when you came on this temple he took for himself with a lot of blood as a payment, he was left wondering.

you arrived as an offering from your village, they couldn’t deal with your personality and ways. never putting your head down or allowing anyone to talk shit. and you, a cursed user, had no restrains on using your technique to defend yourself or prove a point. somehow, they still managed to get you unconscious.

throw at sukuna’s feet, you woke in a daze and you were mad at everyone. seeing this fragile looking little person raising chaos and destruction intrigued him. he killed all of those you didn’t, and you hated him for it.

“hey, you big asshole!” you stormed all the way to his seat. “they were mine.”

“and you are mine now, go with uraume to receive your tasks.”

. . . what?

you start to work under sukuna after that day, he says he doesn’t give a fuck, but it’s an easy lie to spot. sukuna wants to know about your powers, your anger, your everything. and since asking you would be inconsistent to his nonchalant personality, he makes uraume be near you at all times.

uraume hates you. not for jealousy, they just hate how lazy you are with the work. the three of you have an intimidating aura, the closed off faces of you and uraume and the devilish smirk of sukuna is a common last view for anyone who dares face you all.

sukuna begins to view you as something other than a soldier when you keep back talking him more and more. he gets offensive, you defend yourself and nearly gets you face burned or body slashed, that makes you even angrier. he finds amusing your scowling and screeches, so he keeps “missing” his assassination attempts.

sukuna does not court you or asks you on a date, sorry! he will just make clear one day that you are his, like in your first encounter, except this time anyone that comes into his room will be met with a not friendly sight of you on his lap.

now, uraume hates the two of you.

──── 𓇼 ° ⋆ FUN FACTS ᵎᵎ

۫ ּ ﹗it’s all a lie, uraume actually likes you both. and if you ever get sick, sukuna will not help you, but the cooker will make you soup and that’s it. don’t ask the ingredients, though.

۫ ּ ﹗sukuna has a short temper, and you have the light to ignite his anger. you both are very explosive, and yet he stopped getting angry a long time ago, he rather see you worked up. you know where this ends.

۫ ּ ﹗he sees you with a gothic dress, his many eyes won’t leave you alone, never.

۫ ּ ﹗when the culling games start, you come back thanks to kenjaku. it’s like the day you first met, you come his way in a confused state and angry. he missed you a lot.

[horizon-verizon]

"There’s this troubling notion that strength and love are somehow incompatible—like Baela can’t have her agency if she’s with Jace. Why can’t Baela be both fierce and capable of love/be in love?" Yass! Oh my God!!! A better question would be why male characters are allowed the freedom to explore romantic connections, while female characters like Baela are viewed as impediments to a male protagonist's development. Why Jace is often perceived as deserving of a narrative filled with romantic intrigue, but only if he pursues relationships with his betrothal to Baela. While Baela's potential for romance is limited or viewed with skepticism, particularly if it involves Jace.  I've seen posts suggesting that love might not even be on the cards for Jace and Baela since it’s an arranged marriage. I've seen TG posts suggesting Jace should just break off his betrothal to Baela, and I can’t help but wonder why on earth they’d want that. Jace isn’t going to abandon Baela, nor would she leave him; they are committed to each other. Why insist on the prevailing narrative confining Baela to a trope of independence devoid of romance? Or maybe they need an excuse to hate on Jace because they can't wrap their heads around the fact that he’s actually a noble, well-adjusted lad.

Anon refers to this post.

The previous anon was saying about Daenaera, Rhaena, and Baela were points about fans use the girls' ethnic heritages or racial profiles determine what sort of fates or overall arcs should look. Saying there's always a huge discrepancy between the Black women's and the white women's. It also was observing the three Black women (since this is the HotD fandom and not necessarily prior asoiaf fans) out of talking about a man's romantic experience with any of them, more their unique romance/intimacy-political arcs, at least with Daenaera and Baela. So, I don't think your first posed question is "better" so much as you going in a different direction and at the same destination.

Why Jace is often perceived as deserving of a narrative filled with romantic intrigue, but only if he pursues relationships with his betrothal to Baela. While Baela's potential for romance is limited or viewed with skepticism, particularly if it involves Jace. 

I think some are so attracted to Jace or want to be something like a central character they wish for him to be with a girl who they can relate to...and white fans notoriously are the only or primary race who can't-won't "relate"/put themselves into characters of other races. Black women in the U.S. racial system's media are support groups or material for resources of energy, time, labor (manual, artistic, linguistically, etc.) or elsewise they are at the bottom of a hierarchy of desireablity. Desireability determines much of a woman's femininity and value.

Then there is a thing where they feel they need to "spice" Jace up for him to be "interesting", not really satisfied with him "just" being passionate in his service to Rhaenyra or his side of the family, esp if they really hate Rhaenyra and/or Daemon.

There is also, if they ship Jace with the non-existing Sara Snow, that they see a Black girl in the same class as this white boy, there has to be another sort of underclass girl getting a "prince", Jenny of Olstones style, maybe.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Sorry for the ensuing ramble I just couldn’t resist jumping in on the whole Ancient Greek love thing (I have a degree in this field!) There’s a lot to take into account here - to keep it simple, they have all of the kinds of love we contemporary audiences do and more. In fact the reason you’ve probably seen so many different words for Greek “love” online is precisely because they think about it to such a particularized degree. To add to this, Plato’s ideas about love - while immensely influential in literary and intellectual history - are not entirely representative of the society’s conceptualisations if it. (Also misogyny lol) What we have from that time are a finite collection of writings from a highly educated, aristocratic, wealthy, and above all else small segment of society. And last but not least — which society are we even talking about? My favorite part about these myths is tracing the different interpretations through time, space, even age/gender… each version may sound familiar at first but every author reflects the time and place they were writing in. Ovid wrote a collection of letters written to epic heroes (the Heroides) entirely from the POV of the women they brutally abandoned. Ariadne to Theseus is coincidentally my favorite, lol and they’re so fun you should check them out!!

Took me ages to answer this sorry 😭 But this is so fascinating to me, I'm still wondering would these two sillies say "I love you" or would they perhaps communicate it in other ways...?

I'd assume Minotaur!König's concept of romantic/erotic love (?) would overall be vague since he lived underground for many years wherein Ariadne!reader (not his sister in the au I wrote for btw!!) would have seen plays, heard poems, songs etc where this subject was "analyzed" profoundly. Would she have introduced him to the concept of what love is...?

I'm just imagining these two would cause a ruckus in the streets for being so openly in love, misogyny being one, if not the main reason! People would gossip about how lame it is to be in love with a woman like ew 🤢

But oh my god. The Ovid piece?? And esp this one excerpt which is SUCH A FIERCE YET ELOQUENT BURN?

"I gave you a clue to guide your uncertain steps: when you deceived me by false protestations, and swore by the dangers from which you had escaped, that, while life remained, we should be inseparably one.

We live; and yet, Theseus, I am no longer thine; if indeed an unhappy woman, oppressed by the treachery of a perjured man, can be said to live. If you, barbarous man, had murdered me with the club with which you slew my brother, my death would have absolved you from your vow."

(slay queen! 🔥🔥🔥)

[inchidentally]

'what if the competition between Lando and Oscar turns bad?' between my landoscar post and comments on other SM content it made me want to get weird in notepad again

I'm tagging @481boxboxbaby and @twinkodium who've asked but I'm sorry if someone's asked to be tagged and I missed it! also tagging @huntscunt who's tags put this idea in my little head

(caveat that I'm a casual fan who happens to have been around F1 fans all my life so this is just my not remotely official perspective lol)

just to state I think it's a given that we're all so excited for McLaren's future with these two is that Lando and Oscar feel like generational talents. and they're also very different as drivers and every race is exciting to watch even just for them. also the fact that Oscar was the jolt of competition that Lando needed.

and honestly I'd be more worried about their future harmony if they hadn't already had so many highly competitive and charged moments in their first season together:

Oscar came in at a surprisingly even level with Lando apart from the obvious difference in experience. he's taken risks that have on balance landed decently on the side of ballsy/respectable vs total failure and the time spent as reserve driver hadn't deteriorated any of his ability. so it was fair to worry for a while if Lando would take the competition as motivation or frustration esp after the disparity between him and DR in 2022.

I really liked the sort of respectful if tentative camaraderie Oscar and Lando showed each other when the car was an absolute tractor. but I liked it even more the fact that the turnaround at McLaren by Silverstone saw them both still in such a good place while being very competitive. that was I think the start of us seeing that Oscar wanted to prove himself a real team player and good teammate by starting the habit of showing up consistently for Lando's podiums/qualis.

the pit lane ding-dong in Monza was definitely the biggest test they've had - and that a lot of teammates will ever have - and the whole thing was handled really well all around. Andrea did the right thing of being big bad boss and Lando was quick to say that it was prob down to misjudgement (which is what I always thought) and that they still respect each other the same. I wasn't as active then so I can't remember if Oscar was asked for a response but I do remember my friends/family telling me that it was impressive how that didn't cause any major damage between the drivers since that's a pretty major incident to happen so early in a new partnership.

side note here to say that the ppl around me who've been watching F1 since the 90s overall feel like the hothead in-fighting with teammates seems to be fading/getting less intense with the younger generations. maybe it's because alpha male mentality seems cringe to gen z or because awareness of mental health is way more prevalent. Gasly and Ocon are relatively young drivers but even there the situation is pretty rare and because of hanging onto childhood grudges. I don't get the impression that any of the people around me feel like the Norris/Piastri partnership is likely to blow up or generate bitterness just because they're competing so closely ??

it's fair to say that Oscar has seemed genuinely happy to acknowledge that Lando is the McLaren brand representative and the established fan favorite within the sport as well as the team's fanbase. he's extremely mature for his years and incredibly well-balanced in terms of ambition. he's almost tailor made as a perfect compliment to Lando. EDITED TO ADD: see Oscar's almost lifelong friendship with Logan Sargeant as an example of Oscar having duked it out on track with someone for years while remaining close friends the whole time. and this was Oscar interrupting his own victory radio message to say how awfully he felt for Logan crashing out early. and that this is what Oscar felt about his and Lando's partnership toward the end of the season.

EDITED TO ADD:

Silverstone is a perfect encapsulation of how Lando has felt about Oscar from the very start and this was so beautiful to say.

Lando has measured himself by Lewis Hamilton-level goals since karting. Oscar wants to qualify well and win races. Lando was brought into F1 extremely young coming off of huge expectations and has placed enormous pressure on himself since as early as his second year in F1. Oscar has taken a business-like approach to his career since he was 14 and his calm sense of focus and determination comes from focusing on the race ahead and not letting much else in.

Lando's emotions being driven by his superstar destiny/status and Oscar's ability to have calm perspective even during a race is as solid a foundation as you can get in an F1 partnership honestly. they'll absolutely have the same conflicts that all teammates do and the media and DTS will explode those out of all proportion (both of which I ignore anyway). but I really can't see Oscar suddenly flying off the handle or holding grudges and I can't see Lando becoming a driver who suddenly wants to sustain a bad relationship with his teammate after all these years. Oscar is very clearly not the type to develop a crazy ego and Lando genuinely has more of an insane high self-expectation complex than that big of an ego.

even setting aside the parasocial widely felt agreement that they seem to genuinely like and respect each other, neither of them are alpha types and they're not both superstars jostling for publicity and they didn't come up together with a ton of existing history. idk it's just not on the F1 cards that they become icy or resentful.

so while I know no one can see the future and they're both relatively young and could change I don't really feel apprehensive?? and it's way too early to know if either of them will split from McLaren or when. especially if the car stays competitive with RB and Merc then it's the best place for both of them for the foreseeable (and prob most likely since competitive openings elsewhere look to be scant for the next 5ish? years but pls correct me if that's wrong!).

.

.

side side side note: I personally would not want to see Lando at RB. I know he's itching to try that car but unless RB and Max change drastically before then, Lando would positively shrivel up there. he's a superstar and he needs to be someplace he can be a superstar. it's also why I'm glad Carlos and Daniel moved along bc that's why those friendships are still so strong. we saw what had begun to happen when Lando was eclipsing Daniel and I don't even want to think about Carlos and his family if Carlos was teammates with a dominant Lando.

[rubywolf0201]

Summary of the limited 5 stars I have and why I pulled them ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Seele- Didn’t went for her initially and was saving up for Jing Yuan at that time but I thought she was pretty cool and I kinda like her dynamic with Bronya. I pulled for her back in 1.4 when her rerun came out cuz I was kind of bored and wanted to see how good Seele is. She was fun to play around with esp in Mono Quantum teams and I do hope to pull for her signature LC soon.

Jing Yuan- Have many complicated feelings for this man. Love his character as a whole, his voice performance and his gameplay (even if it was a little clunky back in 1.0). Pulled for his signature LC because the LC I was using at that time (Genius’ Repose) wasn’t good on him so yeah.

Silver Wolf- Came in about 20 pulls and was an overall great debuffer. Had a lot of fun with her when you put her in teams such as Mono Quantum and if you pair her with Seele for example. Don’t have her signature LC but Tutorial should work just fine on her but I’m probably may have to at some point 👉🏻👈🏻

Luocha- The man who came in about 10 pulls and was overall glad that he was the healer that carried my team. I don’t use him a lot nowadays sadly since I have Huohuo and Gallagher but I remember how his Talent has a Panic Heal function that triggers whenever someone is on low HP and it was pretty neat. Don’t have his signature but the F2P LC I have on him (Time Waits for No One) works fine for him. (I’ll get back to building Luocha sooner or later)

Blade- Well what can I say. This man is hot. Yeah I know he fell off the meta gameplay and got powercreeped in some sense but he’s not all that bad IMO if you have Bronya and/or Luocha with him. Don’t have his signature LC but I’ll get it sooner or later in his second rerun.

Kafka- To be frank with you guys, I didn’t really need her on my account but considering how attractive her design is and the fact that I would feel bad for not reuniting her with Bladie and Silver Wolf, I pulled for her. She’s actually pretty good in battle and pairing her with other DoT units like Sampo has helped. Don’t have her signature but Fermata is a Okayish substitute for her signature.

Dan Heng IL- Like with Kafka, he wasn’t really needed on my account but his design is way too cool to be passed up and his Ultimate is peak. That and I just like Dan Heng way too much. Don’t have his signature but I plan to get it in his second rerun if I feel like it.

Fu Xuan- One of the first limited Preservation unit I was gunning for as I don’t have Gepard with me yet in my account and I couldn’t leave Luocha as the only sustain (I do have Bailu but she’s not too useful IMO). That and I kind of like her character too. Don’t have her signature and sadly skipped it in favor of Boothill during her rerun but I’ll get it in her second rerun.

Topaz- Pulled for her back in 1.4 in about 70 pulls and she is actually pretty neat. Her using Numby to attack the targets by firing a coin gun to attract it is just a pretty fun concept. Also a huge sucker for gemstone related names. Pulled for her signature in her first rerun so she’s OK now.

Huohuo- I didn’t pull for her back in 1.5 as I was too busy trying to gun for Argenti (who is a good unit somewhat but was designed more for Pure Fiction) which I kind of regretted as she was kind of like a sustain for DoT units and is pretty good (even if she overshadowed Luocha somewhat) so I pulled for her in her rerun. Don’t have her signature but I’ll probably get it in her second rerun when I have the chance.

Ruan Mei- Like with Huohuo, I was too busy trying to get Dr Ratio and also regretted not getting her until her rerun. She is a little messed up character-wise but her design is just too pretty to pass up (still a little fucked that TB was somehow Ok with her drugging them tho but that’s another story). Don’t have her signature as I was too busy getting Firefly but I’ll get it in her second rerun.

Dr Ratio- One thing I have to say is that: He’s sexy. Also I’m forever thankful that he was a free limited 5 star unit that players received from 1.6 to 2.1 which made me super thankful that I don’t have to pull for him as a unit and go for his LC. And guess what? I got it in around 30-40 pulls I believe. Oh and he’s actually pretty straightforward to use too so yeah!

Sparkle- The one character I saved my 12k Stellar Jades for because as a unit she’s practically another version of Bronya but works for units that are SP hungry. Also she has a really pretty design and is a fun character overall (Tho I do wish she wasn’t racist). And since I got her in 20 pulls, I went for her LC next which took 50 pulls.

Aventurine- Another sustain unit I went for since I don’t use Luocha that much and I can’t let Fu Xuan be the only shield unit. Like with Topaz, I’m a sucker for gemstone names and he is also handsome. Oh and he took 20 free pulls to come into my account so it’s a win! I don’t have his signature LC as I attempted to get Jingliu on her rerun but couldn’t but I sure hope to get it on his rerun.

Boothill- I wasn’t interested in getting him at first and only focused on getting either Topaz’s or Fu Xuan’s LC but after playing 2.2, his character captivated me combined with very funny and wholesome fanart of him and sometimes Robin. I couldn’t get his LC as I spent a lot of my Stellar Jades getting Topaz’s LC and being cheated out of my 5 star guarantee back in Robin’s but I’ll get it the next time he has a rerun.

Firefly- A very cute and adorable girl who turned out to be a fearsome mechanic warrior! I was interested in her the moment I saw her design back when she was announced and the more I played the Penancony arc and learning that she is actually SAM, it made my interest in her go higher. I don’t have her LC sadly but I’ll get it once she has a rerun.

Jiaoqiu- Handsome pink haired foxian with heavy amounts of lore relating to him being a healer but also him suffering from depression the more he witnessed the horrors of war. I know he is a debuffer more tailored to Acheron but I got him because of the potential usefulness to DoT teams or units that benefitted from debuffed enemies like Dr Ratio for example. Don’t have his LC but I’ll get it in the near future when he has a rerun.

Overall, that’s all of the limited 5 stars I’ve pulled so far. The only one left is Robin and that’s because she’s really useful in FUA teams. I sadly don’t have plans to pull for Feixiao, Lingsha or even Rappa but it may depend on my mood on whether I want to pull them or not.

[idkwhatimdoing-help]

~Raine's Reviews: Looking For Alaska~

Rating: 8/10 Author: John Green Year: 2005

First of all there was a sticker on the book, i tried to remove it, messed up, and put the sunflower sticker to cover it. I think it looks pretty <3

Overall, i liked it very much, but since it's a thriller, i wouldn't read it again, im planning on putting it back in the charity shop, bc i got from there. But i do believe that John Green doesn't know how to write anything that isn't white, straight teenagers. And i don't like his works much. However, this was his debut so im cutting him some slack here.

Horny teenagers. It was basically horny teenagers in a boarding school in Alabama. And my asexual, unAmerican ass was sooo amused at how their brain works

I loved that we slowly learn about Alaska's past, and how everything slowly starts to make sense. Bc her home life was all a mystery until she confessed about the day her mom had an aneurism and she didn't call 911. We had snippets, but it didn't make sense why she hated home.

The pranks were AMAZING. The Barn Night, The Flooding, Alaska's Memorial Prank. There was a freaking stripper in the Creek!!! Like man, what the hell!!

I have to say, the amount of drinking and smoking felt fake. Like, i don't really think that was how much they smoked and drank. And the fact that it was all over in school and everyone was doing it. Wrong, fake.

But the sex was very realistic. The fumbling and not knowing of teenagers. Lara and Pudge's confusion over a blowjob made me so happy.

The fact that we never actually found out if it was suicide or accident was also realistic. I feel like there is always the pressure on an author to make everything crystal clear by the end of the book/series. An that's just not the case a lot of times irl. And there are so many cases that we will never know if it was a suicide or accident

Alaska's ptsd/cptsd was portrayed really well. I don't think that would be the case if the book was from Alaska's POV, but it was from Pudge's POV and for someone witnessing it from outside, it was well written

Takumi was a sweetheart, i love him so much <3

Him feeling left how was soo real and the letter at the end of the book broke my heart. He wa sthe loser of the friend group, and as the loser of the friend group, i relate to him so much

Speaking as an immigrant, Lara saying that the best day of her life and the worst day of her life were the same day (her family moving to the US from Romania) hit a bit too close to home. Im constantly thrown apart between trying to decide if i completely hate my family moving or completely loving it. And i learned that it's neither. And there's a bit of both in it. And Lara knew that as well.

Also, Lara deserved so much better!! They did my girl dirty. Period.

The Old Man/religion teacher was an icon and i loved the scenes of his classes. And what he did to remember Alaska and her Big QuestionTM

The teachers aren't just cruel robots, they are also human and that was potrayed nicely. I feel like we tend to forget that, esp while writing books. The Eagle getting emotional over Alaska's death and trying to help Pudge and the Colonel

I do have to say, John Green could have done better with writing emotions. Esp teenager emotions which are all over the place. Pudge's mind seemed so single minded and that didn't felt like how it is for teens

[helluvapurf]

Out of curiosity, what are your Top 10 Fave HB ships overall?❤️‍🔥

My "overall" top 10 faves? ...Hmmmmm-

Honestly a lil tricky 'cause alot of my main HB ships rn aren't exactly "canon" (save for like, one or two lol), and I do like to multi-ship alot as well depending on my mood. Sooo if I had to name just the top ships currently in my head rn (even if its not a full 10 list), here ya go!

Fizz x Ozzie Beautifully lustful bfs not afraid to be doofuses together whilst always lifting the other up when they're down... honestly, what more can one ask for in a Hell-ranked power couple?~ 💞🔥 If they ever made a spin-off for Fizzarolli, I’d SO be down for that if it means more Fizzmodeus duets~ 😍

Blitz x Fizz -Biiiit of a controversial one I know, since ofc Fizzarolli is in a relationship rn/Blitz having his own issues wouldn't spell too much success for a romance atm... but like, ughhh I can't help it they're SO good, man T-T 💕 Like, two torn-apart childhood friends who grow up into a petty rivalry, sassing eachother out whilst learning to work together in danger, hashing out their feelings enough to forgive (whilst taking it slow friendship-wise) BUT also having Blitz stand his ground to protect Fizz at the Mammon event?

...Honestly, if it weren't for Fizzmodeus (+Stol*itz) existing, these two would THE perfect endgame, fr~ 👏👏

Loona x Bee "Peppy x Moody" aesthetics are always a huge soft spot for me in ships, so I couldn't help getting drawn to these gals maybe being more than just "pals" lol ;p

Esp with the potential of Bee not being afraid to call out Loona on her crap (unlike most others who deal with her lol), Loona lowkey finding Bee attractive & super cool (despite still being a lil jealous over her Tex crush), and knowing how intuitive Bee is as a whole... I feel like she'd be the best influence to soften up Loona to get her to express herself & have fun~💖

Bee x Tex Prob my fave (canon) hetero pair atm, I think these two are pretty lovely on their own accord too~ :3 Surprisingly subtle with their affections compared to other couples... but you can still tell how much they fit well given their laidback natures, abilities to "read" people (like Blitz when he got too drunk), and just overall care for eachother in that bit after Bee shrank down to size. Really curious of how they got together ngl (esp given how Hellhounds are pretty low in the hierarchy system as-is), I think it'd be pretty fun to read about~ 🥰

Blitz x Striker Ahhh yes, def a classic in terms of the alternate Blitz ships out there (though I guess not as popular these days, given Striker's current writing .w.; ). From how much they oozed chemistry from their first meeting, Blitz's respect for Striker's skill almost giving them good coworker potential, their similar insecurities/frustrations with Hell's hierarchy system (even with Striker going a more "corrupt" route with it in later appearances... the fact that even he declares that Blitz deserved "better" than how Stolas' treats of him speaks volumes ngl-). Like, there's SO much potential imho; whether its a slowburn-redemption pair, an "flirting-on-opposing sides" pair, a "come to the dark side- we have cookies~" pair... the possibilities are endless~ 👀❤️

Blitz x Mrs. Mayberry

-Ok, now this one's proooobably the least popular overall of the Blitz ships out there... but idk, just thought it'd be a cute idea the more I thought about it lol .3.

Blitz may be a goofy lil jerk, but he's clearly a devoted family man at heart whenever you see him with his loved ones (Loona, Fizz, occasionally M&M, etc.). And with Mayberry having that strong desire for a family (despite how she was cheated/unfairly-bashed on after her death), I feel like she'd lowkey be a sweet influence to balance Blitz's chaotic nature (whilst he'd be able to make her laugh/bring "excitement" to her current life in Hell). Idk, just something light & cute like that, yknow? :3 💜

[estrelladeishtar-archive]

♀ // After the tower, comes the star

Been dwelling a bit on Charter Verse AU Ishtar lately- mainly since originally they were like, meant to be a charter of their own district while working under NSR? Both them & Zion since their concepts have been meant to be charters (& I'll delve into charter verse Zion at some point too), but honestly in my hcs I imagine they'd be like... They end up being more recently set up charters prior to the revolution? Like, they haven't been around as long as the other charters so to speak Their own aims & ambitions throughout becoming charters, for them both, were in their own hopes/aspirations to make things better throughout Vinyl City, not to mention sort of push back with more power against the way NSR originally was running things, since as charters they'd be able to have more say & thus, their own hopes of trying. I headcanon that they were like, NSR elite status prior to—in the sense that they had joined NSR's ranks as musicians, later ascended to being charters outright, with such an aim in mind. Especially as they ofc saw the glaring faults (& have. Always been ones to be critical about & oppose such things too, especially Zion given the kinda person he is)

Also, info on Ishtar's District, as some of it will be relevant

But, that all laid out, I'm going to focus a bit on Charter Verse Ishtar & just... Their overall ordeal as one? Tossing under read more cause this is lengthy, some of this may be disorganized wording (I hope its not) but regardless.

So, delving into their charter verse...

I'm going to establish a few things with Ishtar's past first that I think are important, with these things being applicable to them regardless if they're a charter, NSR artist but non-charter, purely indie musician AU (still thinkin abt that one whether it's a neutral end or bad end ordeal), or rock/metal AU (sort of a bad end outcome)

So, with Ishtar... This is a MAJOR tl;dr (believe me I can go VERY in depth in depth), but... the whole thing about them is the fact that they don't exactly come from the best of circumstances, formerly a music hobbyist who got caught up in aspiring to the music industry, was swept up in it a bit too early, & then... sadly, on top of the hardships faced in their upbringing, there came the rather brutal trials & tribulations that came as they stepped into the music industry, especially at the hands of a musician far more famous than them, known by the name "Kaletu" as he'd further springboard them abruptly into the industry, with their luck & rapid ascension in the industry a bit early on. Things went down as their story would play on the issue of "people in an industry who use their power/fame/status to abuse others & get away with", as Ishtar became his casualty, yet with Zion together would speak out on all the cruelties he'd committed—even if it didn't really lead to any legal repercussions. In this time they'd made plans to move off to Vinyl City, leave behind Catemaco which is where they're from, & close out such a painful chapter, with hopes for better--ambitions & aspirations leading them down the path of establishing themselves in NSR alongside Zion (altho they wouldn't do so right away)—yet, still finding themselves facing their own hardships in personal life (especially with Tammuz too, someone from their past they once were involved with). Yet even throughout this, maintaining compassion for those in Vinyl City, as they've always revolved around this element, & w/ the glaring faults from NSR, trying hard to use their position to help smaller artists, bridge the gap & hopefully from within help with furthering changes. As well as them extending compassion & support to other musicians, no matter if big or small, advocating for them, being critical of NSR & directly doing things to pose opposition from within, hoping it can do something to turn around the way NSR was running things, which does prove... more challenging than initially thought esp w their own personal shit too they have going on (as Zion does too, the two believing firmly in supporting one another & so on, so forth) Throughout everything, their whole personal story has been one of undergoing tons of trials & tribulations, yet rising above all their circumstances & holding on to their own hopes for better, & extending hopes to others too that they aid, & not only that, them having to learn to not lose themselves & who they are at their core to their past traumas, especially in their earlier years where the things they go through... For some time, do turn them cynical, hateful, full of anger that turns them into a person they're not--& in time it almost costing them their only remaining connection after their past, that being w Zion. Until they turn things around for themselves & further soar higher than before & make amends with him as well. But, amidst it, with trust & vulnerability issues it causes them to be withdrawn from most, struggling with connecting with others, which... Proves an issue if they want to be able to make their aspirations for change through their position a reality, in using their compassion to bring about further meaningful change too.

I could elaborate further, bc again this is a VERY quick run down but if I rambled on I'd end up with a 3290432 page google doc (only half joking, y'all should see the ramblings I go on about Zion & Ishtar to others b ut ANYWAY)

Amidst everything, the arcs w them as a character are not only to not let the past change them into something they're not, but also to move forward, to let themselves embrace trust/connections/vulnerability again, so it can aid them further in the change they want to advocate further for, as well as letting themselves receive the same love & compassion that they give to others (not to say they're all love & light btw. But again, another time)

But now, with all that out the way... Onto their charter AU in full...

So, given the timeline I have for them & all, honestly they wouldn’t have become a charter until most likely the stuff after Tammuz that went down w them being in Vinyl City, tbh? There’s no way that w the turbulence ongoing in their life back then that they would have become a charter shortly after arriving in Vinyl City, & I figure that things basically follow the same path of like. Them getting into NSR as an elite only at first, w the rest of the stuff that plays out in their regular timeline playing out the way it does—Zion in this AU would also be a charter too, he was quick in rising to charter status given the life he’d been paving for himself. but as a whole, Ishtar still goes through the stuff they do, up until the temporary falling out w Zion & the shit w Tammuz, & the end of that & the unhealthy behaviors they fell into again for some time before they end up making amends w Zion again

Its around the point in time that they make amends w Zion, however, that w them putting their foot down on everything, they decide to really spur their focus to soar higher & come out atop everything—prompting them to push harder, immerse themselves in full towards working on becoming a charter & also, not just bc of personal reasons but they figure in becoming a charter they could maybe, maybe, have more say in how things are run in Vinyl City to help turn things around w how NSR’s running shit, & also it further aiding in just rebuilding themselves after everything too ambitions that prove harder to fulfill than initially thought though—but still, they do ascend to charter status, w their district pathway being established… I wanna say between Metro & Dream fever tbh—

Esp considering this concept i had as a "What if in game?" thing here:

(also, an important sidenote that Ishtar & Zion are both really close friends. They have been through thick & thin w each other for so long, so yeah)

I wanna say that, with Ishtar rising to charter status, its… Considering that Ishtar was created with them being a charter in mind, their personality doesn’t exactly change all too much from what it is now? But there is the fact they actually do become more apprehensive, withdrawn from most around them compared to as a regular NSR artist—more guarded still now because its like… Lying low during periods they wanna lay low is now harder, & there’s even more a spotlight being put on them in a way to where they aren’t always able to withdraw/retreat into the bg in instances they may want to, making things all the more daunting for them for sure... Especially when they have issues around trust & vulnerability, & meanwhile are always sorta holding up this lighterhearted demeanor & this upkeep of their physical appearance bc—its so ingrained in them, & here in this AU? it becomes even further instilled in them, by comparison.

You have to constantly uphold your lighterhearted demeanor, you can't be viewed, ever, as unsightly, be it through your physique or overall personality

So a couple pre-existing traits that are now turned up higher…

Well—Somewhat, bc at the same time despite this, you still can see elements of them attempting more open vulnerability & more open connections, through the way they engage with those that reside within their district—

Through the way they allow themselves still to extend themselves out to smaller musicians, engage interact with them & even has invited em into collabs with at their main venue, or their secondary venue which this one is where they’re more versatile w diff genres. & Hell, they actively do shit where they literally allow for indie musicians to host performances in the main plazas of their district or ask them for their ordeal with their venue, does not matter the genre they do not care. & Tbh, wouldnt be surprised if they would have gotten shit from NSR for refusing to ban rock in their own district during the start of the revolution even? Them & Zion both had that element of defiance against forbidding rock from their districts, even if that put them at risk of losing their position bc—fuck that, the prohibiting of such a genre is absurd to them & especially to Zion, who believes in self expression through any creative outlet to embrace yourself in full

There’s also the fact that well, the Plutonic Gardens in their district itself is another means of this whole… attempts at such things.

(Some examples of what I envision for the plutonic gardens in their district, in terms of general vibe/aesthetic, are here? Used that cause discord links ain't ideal-)

The gardens here as I mentioned w the district locations thing are, well—this is p much a place where there’s an ample number of the crystalline sculptures Ishtar makes? These taking on a more personal tone, tying back to Ishtar themselves on a personal level, some touching on themes of their own past, some in general being a glimpse into their own overall self for who they are, beyond just the lighterhearted side of t hem they show... Yet, heavily ladden with symbolism that isn’t exactly easy to decipher for non-practicioners of occult stuff so—its why this is,,, a more indirect means of vulnerability on display, not entirely openly so due to the fact they’re still really guarded either way despite attempts

But still, an effort nonetheless

More open connection attempts also are made through how they generally. Try to be more open also w other NSR staff. Its a weird position though for them as they’re both in this in between space of trying but also withholding themselves (& is even moreso withdrawn from those they don’t get along with,) so, almost this back & forth w/ themselves in opening themselves up that’s probs more amplified? Compared to them just being an elite. But still, more open somehow. To an extent, its connecting more openly, but all more surface level probably i’d say. Getting deeper than surface level takes longer meanwhile.

This paradox of they’re somehow more open, but more withdrawn at the same time.

I will say, something that probably ends up not… Helping their guarded nature when it comes to this sort of thing is, well—

So, in my own headcanons (given i follow a personal hc that NSR also recruits musicians through keeping tabs on musicians in the industry across the world that they especially see are at the top, & inviting them to join the company, somethn I shared w Al), I've had it set that the famous musician that Ishtar once was involved with, Kaletu, likely was someone who was on NSR’s radar in terms of artists to invite onto the record label—this being in the time frame before everything about his cruelties, esp those towards Ishtar, came to light. Tl;dr he declines joining but says he’ll consider in the future to keep that line possibly open, but later on, & even knowing Ishtar’s part of the record label itself especially, tries to talk w NSR about reconsideration of his invitation—gets shot down immediately bc of all the things that are public about him & the shit he’s done, etc etc.

But that little context aside I figure that—given his own. Awareness of NSR & stuff. Likely, with Ishtar rising in status as a charter he would have caught on, & likely. Tried to take jabs, bc the fact that the one he’d targeted still remaining in the industry & ascending to such a status has him less than pleased & thus. While Ishtar has all lines of contact to him severed (since years ago), & they p much try their best to keep moving forward, I won’t deny that something like that does set them back initially in their own ordeal w becoming a charter—this awareness of how much less they’ll be able to display sides of them that could possibly be deemed ‘unfavorable’, vulnerability further tightly locked away at the start becomes even more guarded & clammed up. & For some moments it does make them contemplate if allowing themselves to have become a charter was the best decision, especially with this sort of awareness of how much more eyes will be on them, even from ones like him, etc etc. Things like that

Ultimately, they don’t let those factors cause them to back down—but. It is a factor that leaves them a lot more. In that weird paradoxical state of. Trying to push past everything be more open (esp bc in being more open they can better foster their own community & fans & better work towards bringing about better for those in their district &, in their hopes, Vinyl City), yet at the same time guarding themselves highly—

I feel they sort of fall into this sort of. Trap also. Of just. They start. Almost lowkey putting everyone else above themselves? Throughout their time as a charter?

They focus so heavily on their general ambition of bringing about better for others through use of their position as a charter—yet, there’s like… They’re shirking away from letting themselves be open, connect in ways more than just surface level out of fear, putting the focus on their fans way too heavily almost over themselves & caring more about everyone else

… All while their own internal struggles & stuff are kept sequestered away, locking them away harder, any pressures they feel kept to themselves, any sort of worries & fears & anxieties being things they dwell in alone, because—what’s to happen if your own district members start to see the sides of you that others once deemed unsightly? What’s to happen if your vulnerabilities slip out a bit too much rather than through the light drip-feeding you do (for ex through their sculptures that, display such things yet, it takes deciphering them to even register that in the first place) What’s to happen if you ever show anything that could make others instantly doubt your proficiency as a charter?

Others always have deemed you too emotional, too passionate to a degree that’s distasteful, too much in extremes too volatile regardless of how true that is on anything, a rejection of what you were like before being something that has been consistent & thus, with those experiences... It sort of amplifies the concern that w them being a charter now, that now there’s even more importance in making sure only the sides of them ppl like can be seen & not, anything else that lies beneath that typically turns people against you or drives them away

Ironically enough though this is somethn that DOES cause fans to worry because, it starts to slowly seep out in one way or another—&… those who especially have been long-standing fans of Ishtar. Start to. Notice.

However—You have a standard to uphold though, one that’s been instilled in you all your life since your upbringing & now that you’re in the position you’re at, that expectation has to be higher right? You cannot deviate from it, you have to live up to that standard Despite the fact they have been healing from a lot, well… there’s also the fact that these behaviors crop up still because they’re still… playing yet again into the very themes addressed with them so to speak

It doesn’t help that you’ve had an increase in weird parasocial &/or objectifying fans too now that you’re a charter (Something that is part of their history. Eventually that'll be discussed though). Not to a degree to where it was like their past at least, no, & their fanbase STILL actively spurns those types heavily so its not like the risk of their fanbase returning to what it once was is there, but its still… a notable increase.

You’re there constantly trying to help & please & make others happy & help them, care for them, turn things around for them—& you are passionate about that, sure. I mean its even why you enjoy your work w occult stuff on the side, because of that reason of what you use it for… Yet you suppress yourself from your community & won’t even welcome in any support from others amidst how all this affects you too, because you refuse to let your guard down. Which all the while isn’t beneficial to trying to foster community & bring em together better for better change, & meanwhile your own community is starting to worry in a way about you also through the things that slip through the cracks, because you’re so strung up in putting everyone else before you & neglecting yourself that at some point some of it will start to spill. But you hide it. Hide it well. Hide it well. You have to.

You dread what’d happen if you properly connected with them outside of the exterior you show—ironically enough though, you also hate that you can’t. Its. Being a paradox. You’re paradoxical as a charter.

Then you’ve also got to deal with those who are trying to find any single thing to deem you unfit as charter & to try to get rid of you too, despite the advocacy you constantly do alongside Zion for those in the city... Alongside other stuff w NSR that’s stressful (ESPECIALLY the ordeals w DJ, as I hc they clash heavy with him a lot in their hatred for musicians who view themselves atop everyone else), alongside the process of healing you’ve been on for a while that aint easy, alongside dealing w the increased shit from Kaletu & his messy ass fanbase, alongside weird parasocial &/or objectifying fans, alongside plenty other things that make you just wonder if you were in over your head amidst this all

Yet you still try your damn hardest... & Any concerns from coworkers you brush under the rug too, that's assuming they happen to catch on anyway.

A lot of this whole ordeal is ironic bc they’re pretty much caught up in this loop, because they’ve never really let themselves start opening up to closer connections in full yet at this point in time?

Its literally AFTER revolution that they start doing so. Similar to their non-charter NSR artist version of them

This whole winding up back in that loop, is… in a way, partially self inflicted—them being their own self undoing through this being their own worst enemy (In typical 12th houser style (me making an astrology joke only i understand maybe, leave me be /lh))

The reason i say its partially self inflicted is bc—To some extent, there is valid/legitimate reasoning for them falling into this guarded / suppressed version of themselves, bc they do have the issue of weird/parasocial/objectifying fans, that try to dig & pry at their personal life & in ways that are wildly uncomfortable or who act entitled to them & so on. They have the issues w ppl who have been harsh & unfair towards them still, they have had the whole… mess w being in the public eye & needing to really enforce & maintain their boundaries & whatnot which is harder given how fans can be, & its a bit harder to lay low now whenever they please, because of their status & their disdain in ONLY ever being in the spotlight but w/o bein able to pull back when they wish (This does also start to lead to some general slow progression of avoidance too w ppl which is another red flag that somethn’s up w them)

But its also for sure in some ways self inflicted, because like… In being so. I guess, to some degree self sacrificing? Bc of that, I kinda figure w the things they do for others & their fanbase & the fact they’re so openly compassionate w those in their district & everything—that leaves an impact on people, in a positive way to where fans HAVE wanted to also. Sort of care for them too. Even though to them they… they tend to not think highly of the things they do bc to them its “not enough” (WHICH IS. A TENDENCY THEY HAVE ACROSS ALL ITERATIONS OF THEM. FOR LITERALLY ANYTHING THEY DO. They don't seem to recognize the things they do happen to do for others that's valued because, in their eyes, it's just... They don't think as highly of the things they already do for others w/o second thought?)

To them, what they do isn’t enough, its never enough, they have to push further, they have to constantly be doing the most they can & it isn’t helped by those “fans” also who are unnecessarily pushy w them demanding of them in ways that are crossing lines, esp when they’re already actively trying the most they can to make things better w those in their district & hoping to help w making things better in Vinyl City at large You keep others walled off from you, because you think they’ll spurn you—when if anything its the opposite, they would literally welcome your full range of expression & you no longer suppressing yourself & so on if you JUST. LET YOURSELF. ACTUALLY. PUSH PAST THE SELF IMPOSED RESTRICTIONS YOU KEEP DOING TO YOURSELF

&, of course.

All this comes out in some ugly tipping point throughout their fight lmao

Bc like, w the revolution happening—the thing w them is that they already at that point have been… Well they’re not blind to the faults of NSR by this point &, with Zion, have been openly critical about it, they've probably had disputes in meetings over some things too within NSR. They’re also both newer charters to Vinyl City too, so being swept up in all this when they’re charters who openly have been trying to work in the system to try to change it well...

Getting caught up in that mess in & of itself already is less than ideal.

But the thing that gets to Ishtar is—Well, the fact that even amidst all they do for others & everything its not been enough. & Even in the moment of defiance that Ishtar & Zion show to NSR themselves, in the whole “no fuck you, we’re not banning rock in our districts, you can try, we're enabling it actually” & them trying to push back in their own other ways (which yeah probably DOES stir a bit of an issue) Well—The fact that for Ishtar, anything they tried doing in vouching for better for the city, anything they tried doing to make things better is like... Almost immediately tossed out & forgotten by those in the revolution? It stings, because it sorta adds to that whole feeling that what was done wasn’t enough—but then there’s also the fact that… well. The revolution gets out of hand to the way it does, to where they get caught in the crossfire, in unfair ways

W ishtar & Zion, they both end up having to undergo having their district completely trashed, & w Ishtar they have to end up seeing that things they’d created throughout the district that had deep personal significance to them get completely ruined, shattered

The thing w their district is—a lot of themselves was poured into it, as sort of a whole … creating something for themselves & rebuilding themselves after all their past shit they’d been through. W the reaching charter status & creating such a haven for both themselves & others, it was sort of this… Further means of leaving behind past stuff & really stepping into an era w them flourishing, even if things do get messy throughout the process considering. How they are. Sdflks

The things they put into their district, a lot of em have this personal connection & significance to them. & Especially the shit in the Plutonic Gardens w all the sculptures & stuff there that are indirect expressions of their own vulnerabilities & shit There’s a lot of deep personal significance in this whole place. & for such a haven getting trashed & havin even valuable sculptures of theirs that carried TONS of weight due to the things it ties to for them being shattered amidst the revolution, having others demean them despite the things they actively have tried for others throughout the revolution & everything Having all that be ruined or destroyed or trashed in some way I kinda hc there’s even one sculpt that had a lot of personal value that was given to them by some in their own fanbase, that was sort of a whole… its by older fans who did that as an appreciation thing for them & support in all their struggles esp from the era they dealt w Kaletu That getting destroyed

This is... Also not helped that this whole revolution started a day before their b-day (like, its canon that the banning of rock started on Aug 7th-

& Ishtar's b-day is... August 8th LMAO & I also kinda hc that some ppl in said revolution did stir shit in their district that day too. Even aware of this fact.

& All that’s not getting into the… directly going & fighting them after actively sabotaging their district. By which when you first meet them in their fight, the encounter takes place during a concert of theirs obvs & you can. See the effects of their music on the crowds—their. Music has a passive trance-like effect by default on those who listen, enchanting them with their music, pulling them in & immersing them under their spell, in their performance to really amplify a more otherworldly ethereal like experience Almost spiritual in a way

Pulling you in deeper into their astral realm

The entire venue is this. Its a dark atmosphere lit up with neon hues, vibrant glows & magic of their own, legit the entire venue is powered & lit up from their cosmic energy & it is NOT something that’s like easy on them. &... They have their usual demeanor upheld when you encounter them, but there very much is an obvious disdain in their tone, venom starting to seep into their words, the start of when everything seeps out really (Considering how i have Ishtar & Zion’s districts set up in this whole “you can go to either district first & the other after, but whichever you go after first leads to the other character’s difficulty being amplified more than usual compared to if you’d gone after them first” element… if you. Happened to go after Zion’s district & defeat it first before them? This demeanor would not be there & their emotional suppression is completely coming undone at their anger that you went after Zion)

(Btw, Ishtar has 4 phases throughout their fight. I'ma casually gesture over to their reference here, they start out in their human form but w each phase they change until they've reached their full alien form w diff coloration & all. Them having regular human skin tone in human form is intentional so that it really makes their alien self stand out as they start to shapeshift fully to it.)

& Throughout their fight it. It really causes this lighterhearted side to finally falter & give way to the more emotionally intense & passionate sides of them coming out on full display, emotional vulnerability starting to bleed out & ESPECIALLY during their end of 3rd phase & final phase where they. Make use of their lunarian 12H ability in those last two phases

Them pulling no punches by that point letting their emotions power & fuel their abilites in full so these def are. Difficult phases as their abilities are amplified due to their emotions but they also are v much risking hurting themselves & def pushing past their own limits (even MORESO if you go against them after Zion first)

Everything that’d been suppressed fully jumps out completely in this fight & esp during Lunarian 12H ability in their end phases taking effect. & There’s also things it draws out from Mayday & Zuke too that fuck them up mentally i figure bc of the way this shit works.

Drawing out a lot of their own subconscious emotions on full display to hurt, subconscious fears, & past hurts/pains. Using their lunarian 12H ability at its fullest potential, which To directly copy paste the impacts of this ability of theirs

“Can make the area around them look like an illusory, space-like/ethereal place, channeling the themes of the 12th House (in astrology], making it seem otherworldly. Given those themes, the area becomes imbued with an effect that makes emotions significantly more amplified, pulling them out from the subconscious–a 12H theme–to either induce an emotional high (during their performances) or intense emotional low (strictly during combat) on those within the affected area. To more intense degrees, desires that are repressed may come afloat more easily, whereas during combat, subconscious pains & fears come afloat, causing intense emotional suffering on the target. These take the form of illusions, only visible to the affected person… Or, if pushed to its absolute limits, said pains/fears take a physical manifestation that can be engaged with by anyone in the area, in addition to some parts of the area giving visuals to things around these fears/pains the person has. Again, 12th House themes. However, Ishtar does not like using their ability at full potency/intensity in combat given how taxing it is”

Aside from it towards the end as you defeat them, it drawing out. All of Ishtar’s own things in full. & the full weight of things w them & going against them really kicking in full swing.

Their fight is one that gets ugly & really. A lot of things that you see from them are not... They're things that would likely weigh on BBJ for going after em perhaps.

…& Funny enough post everything, they’re… There’s the dread that washes over them that, now that fans have seen all this. Unsightliness they’d suppressed for so long. Now that other charters may even have seen this side of them too. Other NSR staff. If they were keeping tabs on how things got during their fight.

That now, they’re going to be spurned, that all the things they fear will come true. When meanwhile, at least with their fans from what i know, that wouldn’t be the case exactly.

As for how others in NSR would view them following this... something to speculate on (& also toss at some other friends maybe w nsr ocs jsdlfd)

I also... Considering the things that got damaged, the things that happened with, I don't think they'd be so forgiving of BBJ. Not easily, not at all. It's something that's really up in the air & esp with the issues Ishtar has going on.

This is p much the general gist &... Yeah this got lengthy as is (now imagine my other in depth rambles about them on many other subjects, some which are heavier djslf). But it's sort of I guess. An overview? On the whole ordeal with Ishtar & them as a charter & the like, so yeah.

A lot of thoughts to condense into this post & I guess more public unveiling of things I think about them & esp w their charter verse being at the forefront mentally currently. (Most of this is p much set in stone it's just... Wording & maybe some slight tweaks here & there, but yeah.)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi hello my anglest angel!!! now that i have uh caught a breath from the knight!sugu fic (i went insane btw) i am here to talk about the songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE SO GOOD!!!!!! i know you said that you have Thoughts about them and now i am beggggging to hear more about those!!! please please please more knight!sugu n brat!reader crumbs i loved them so much

THE SECOND GOODBYE MY DANISH SWEETHEART STARTED PLAYING IT JUST CONJURED UP THE PRETTIEST CASTLE AND I WAS ALREADY IN THE STORY I LOVED IT SO MUCH

there’s nobody better than you // it took me a while till i knew // but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? // it just took me a while till i knew

sad face emoji sugu the all-knowing-one sighhhhh oh i adore him so much ari i nEED TO HUG HIM

I LOVE RISES THE MOON AAAAAAAA I LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH i think it fits the reader so fucking well. it's such a good pick for them. the little lamb the little fox. sigh they're very dear to me already.

btw i just realized that i asked moss a while ago for their knight!sugu songs and "tongues and teeth" was one of the songs!!!!!! idk if u happened to see that but if not then this is a very cute little coincidence it's the knight hivemind!!!!

i’ve grown a mouth so sharp and cruel // it’s all that i can give to you, my dear // and when you come in quick to steal a kiss // my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH THIS FITS THEM SO WELL WHAT

no but overall all of these songs were perfect for them i listened to the playlist multiple times and then i listened to classical music lmao don't ask it fit surprisingly well OKAY BUT NOW DON'T HOLD BACK ON ME!!!!! (THREAT!!!! VERY SERIOUS THREAT!!!) I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE HIDING IN YOUR BRAIN ABOUT THEM LAY IT ALL ON ME SWEETHEART I'M GIDDY I'M EXCITED I'M READY!!! LOVE YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS<33333

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY I’M HERE I’M HERE I’M FINALLY HERE 😭😭😭 pls ignore the fact that i’m many months late ok my brain refuses to cooperate with me sometimes but i’ve been soso excited to answer this properly!!!! this got . Extremely long. like. actually. i got VERY carried away . i’m sorry i genuinely can’t stfu when it comes to them <///3

anyway !!!!! knight!sugu & bratty royal!reader our beloveds :333

first off!!!! i’m sooo glad to hear you enjoyed the songs 🥺🥺🥺 and that you got knight!sugu/royalty!reader vibes from them too!!!!! i’m just gonna get right into it bc we have . a Lot to discuss 😭😭 i really didn’t hold back in the slightest AND ON THAT NOTE pls just know that there’s literally zero pressure to reply to this at all, esp since it’s so late!!! i’m so happy just knowing you think of these silly little guys 🥺 i love you soooo much my sweetest little kitty cat mwah MWAHH <333

goodbye, my danish sweetheart

MY FAVORITE MITSKI SONG EVER EVER EVERRR and honestly i think it fits the fic more than any other song on this list . like. just the vibes + instrumentals alone are sooo perfect for a royalty au…. it sounds nostalgic and bittersweet and very tender . and the LYRICS 😵‍💫😵‍💫ohhhh my fucking god mickey . i’m gonna need to go through them one by one but they just … make me think of royalty!reader so much . how they just want to be accepted. the feelings of inferiority …. the belief that nobody can love them as they are . :(((

there's nobody better than you // it took me a while 'til i knew // but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? // it just took me a while 'til i knew now i lay as i study a blank wall // would you spare me your voice if i call? // ’cause you waited and watered my heart 'til it grew // you can see how it’s blossomed for you

THIS IS SOOOO READER @ SUGU. he’s the one who keeps pushing and fighting for a connection between them and reader keeps resisting until they just . can’t. and they really do think there’s nobody better than their knight !! nobody stronger or kinder. they love him sm :(((( every time they call for him he’s there. and he waters their tiny little heart until it’s not afraid to flourish anymore…..

there’s some kind of burning inside me // it’s kept me from falling apart // and i’m sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart // but it's kept me from falling apart

AND THEN THIS . oughhh . :(((( this is both royalty!reader AND knight!sugu…… they both keep their true self at arm’s lenght to protect themselves. and they both cling to something rotten to keep themselves intact. in reader’s case they cling to the idea of themself as a spoiled, bratty, scummy royal — cling to the anger and bitterness they feel . and suguru clings to knighthood. it burns him but it makes him feel alive. it’ll turn him to ashes but he doesn’t mind. etectc.

strawberry blonde

aaaand then another mitski banger :33 i picked this one mostly based on vibes !!! the instrumental just sounds like it could fit into this au … the more peaceful scenes between the two . but the lyrics are also just brimming with devotion and adoration..

i love everybody because i love you // when you stood up, walked away barefoot // and the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape // i looked over it and i ached i love it when you call my name // can you hear the bumblebees swarm? // watching your arm // i love it when you look my way

IT’S PERFECT BECAUSE . i think the lyrics work both ways !!! i can see both sets of lyrics being from reader’s pov; loving suguru makes it easier for them to love the world . they want him to call them by name. but it also works well from sugu’s pov…. he aches for them and yearns to follow them . he loves it when they call his name, too. they’re both yearners…. what can i say…..

rises the moon

ANOTHER VIBE-BASED SONGGG i also love this one mickey … it’s so beautiful and soothing :((( i imagine it playing during the scene where suguru shares a bit of his past with reader . sitting by the windowsill in their room as the moon glows….. and then he carries them to bed and tucks them in :) i can picture him humming them to sleep with this song.

oh-oh, close your weary eyes // i promise you that soon the autumn comes // to darken fading summer skies you’ll be visited by sleep // i promise you that soon the autumn comes // to steal away each dream you keep breathe, breathe, breathe

and the lyrics are just ???? soooo incredibly soothing. i think knight!sugu brings a lot of peace into reader’s life . they feel very safe with him. and the mentions of dreams and seasons feel fitting, since those are motifs in the fic :3

honestly !! i associate a lot of my character/reader pairings with seasons …. especially this one though. i’m also always thinking about your little knight and prince and how he’s the summer to their spring :3 in my case i think suguru is probably reader’s autumn!! a bridge that softens the gap between summer and winter…. he gives them stability and comfort. and they give him both summer and winter. he meets them right in the middle <33

tongues & teeth

HEAVY BREATHING …… this one is a Must for any knight character or pairing . any character who views themself as a monster . I DID SEE THIS ON MOSS’S PLAYLIST TOO AND THEY’RE SO BIGBRAINED FOR THAT !!!!! it’s just… oughh. i think i mostly associate this one with suguru’s rampage after reader gets kidnapped but the lyrics are more readercoded !!!!

i’ve grown a mouth so sharp and cruel // it’s all that i can give to you, my dear // and when you come in quick to steal a kiss // my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear oh, i will ruin you // it’s a habit, i can't help it // i know that you mean so well // but i am not a vessel for your good intent i will only break your pretty things // i will only wring you dry of everything // but if you're fine with that // if you're fine with that…

IT’S ABOUT . the violence . and tenderness. a person who thinks they’ll bring this brighter, kinder, more ”pure” person nothing but pain . reader assumes they’re too much for anyone to handle so they keep everyone at arm’s lenght . i think they view the people they admire as paintings. and they’re convinced they’ll smudge the canvas if they get too close . but deep down they want to be accepted, claws and all :(((

and suguru does!!! they both accept each other as they are . a fox and a wolf. suguru will let reader bite and hiss and claw at him as much as they need. he won’t love them any less . and reader sees suguru covered in blood, manic and frenzied, and still only thinks about how beautiful he is . how nice their name sounds when it’s falling from his lips . they don’t love each other despite their flaws or because of their flaws . they just like each other. scratch marks and all . i’m normal abt them btw

the garden

THIS ONE 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 MICKEYYYY HOLD MY HAND. this one is almost TOO perfect . i love the crane wives and so many of their songs would fit super well into this fic …. but this one is just . insane . the album cover even has a little fox 🥺 BUT AAA JUST . the instrumental and the LYRICS … i’m gonna need to really pick them apart because they’re so unbelievably perfect for royalty!reader i’m going to. scream.

the crows in the garden are laughing at my expense // drowning out all the lies that i might have told instead

OK SOOO . crows . are a bit of a motif in the fic. crows remind me a lot of suguru maybe that’s why. then there’s also the garden, which is mentioned a lot in the fic too!! all the flower imagery…

but . here’s the thing. royalty!reader is a Liar. they lie. they wear a mask. they’re not honest with their own self and not with anyone else either. and they assume everyone is looking down on them. i can picture them looking out into the garden, seeing those free crows, and imagining their cawing as mocking laughter . it drowns out the sound of their own lies . (crumbles to the floor)

my stone // my shield, my steady hand // hold your light // to the darkness in my head

AND THIS ONE . THIS ONEEEE

mickey ….. grabs your shoulders. i know you’ll see the vision. this is royalty!reader @ knight!sugu and it makes me . Ache . very deeply. he’s their stone. their shield, their steady hand. he holds a light to the darkness in their head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oughhhh they make me insane 😔😔😔 i think reader holds a light to suguru’s darkness too though . it’s more subtle with him but i wrote the fic with the idea that reader saves knight!suguru from his destined doom. he grows to care more for them than knighthood, which saves him from his fate, which is. breaking under the pressure of knighthood. you Get me. you must choose love Every Time.

put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throat // give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes

this one is just . really fitting right??? i guess this one is more knight!sugu coded though . i can imagine him returning to the castle after a bloody duel and getting patched up by a worried little reader :((( they give him a clean blouse . maybe bite his throat a little . who knows .

…. i think they also really love the sound of his heartbeat. it helps them sleep :3

get on your knees and // dig up the garden // won’t you throw down that spade and // dig up the garden, darling? // get your hands dirty and // rip up the garden // won’t you cut down that apple tree for me?

and finally This …….. i think the garden is like. a Metaphor . you know how it is . something something reader is a flower growing under the soil…. suguru has to dig their heart up…. etcetc. but i also love the devotion of it all . the loyal knight gets on his knees and digs and digs at his lord’s request. he’s eternally devoted to their joy.

my love is sick

dies . explodes .

mickey this song …. this goddamn song….. oughhh i love madds buckley sm :((((( she’s so good!!! i adore this song and i think it fits very well for both of them but especially royalty!reader…. it goes back to the whole thing where . they think they’re unloveable. their love is ”sick.” but they still crave tenderness and companionship……

my love is sick // it’s messy and wrong // but i pray for a bit of contagion // hands without fingers // like spoons at the source // coat evenly // oh, won’t you touch me? you’re an infection // i am keeping // no matter the sepsis // you are staying my love is sick // it’s taken me whole // i’m simply a host to a haunting // ghosts without corpses // still linger in flesh // holding on to a love they keep wanting

THESE LYRICS ARE JUST . soooo good. so good. the idea that they view their love as messy and wrong but still want him to touch them . they view him as an infection because intimacy scares them so much but they still don’t want him gone.

and then the final line ….. ”holding on to a love they keep wanting”…….. yeahhh . suguru and reader are both afraid to bare their hearts to one another but they keep holding onto that love anyway.

anything, anything, anything

aaaand then finally!!! another madds buckley song :33 this one is ADORABLE and it’s just . dripping with devotion and adoration !!!! i guess i see it almost as a post-fic song ??? like. after the final scene. the culmination of their relationship. it encompasses their love for each other really really well and the lyrics are just so sweet 🥺🥺

honey, i hate wine // but i’d gladly down a bottle of your name // just to get another taste of you // a single drop not on my tongue would be a waste and i hate mornings // but i like waking next to you // you always wake up before i do // so i can sleep in your embrace and i hate time // the minutes shared will never last enough // no amount of time will ever be too much // and parting leaves a bitter taste

THESE LYRICS ….. soooo royalty!reader. they’re a little sap but they don’t want to admit it!!!! i think their love comes down to making Exceptions. like. suguru is their exception. they hate wine but they’d drink some if he brewed it for them. they hate mornings but wake up early just to get a glimpse of his sleeping face . they hate time, but cherish the clock-ticks they spend with him. they’re a little softie and i love them :(((((

we burn like gentle firewood // we yearn like vines and leaves // and we settle in the comfort of // the bones that rest beneath // and i’d stop staying home and wasting time // to keep your soul with mine

THIS IS BOTH OF THEMMMM. they burn and yearn and settle in the comfort between each other…… they’d stop staying home and stop wasting time to keep each other close .

i’d do anything, anything, anything // anything, anything, anything…

this is really like . the Core of the fic i think. especially on knight!suguru’s side . he’d do anything. there’s something very gentle and tender about this repetition and it makes me wanna cry. sniffle . i adore them mickey :((((( he’d do anything for themmmmm

BUTTTT OKAY . songs aside…… the reason it took me so long to answer this (faulty brain aside) is that i really wanted to include some siken poems for you too :’3 since his poetry inspired me sooo much when i was writing the fic!!! and so many of them are knight!sugu +/ royalty!reader coded….

i’m just gonna go through the ones that remind me of them the most !!!! :33

the way the light reflects

title of the fic was snatched right from this so ofc i had to include it 🫡🫡

the paint doesn’t move the way the light reflects, so what’s there to be faithful to? i am faithful to you, darling. i say it to the paint.

i think this. encompasses the fic. i really do. the paint and the light. the Faith. what’s there to be faithful to? well, the knight by your side has something to say. if reader is faithful to the paint then he is faithful to Them. he’s made out of it. and all reader wants is for someone to have faith in them. they’re the paint, and suguru’s the light.

i paint in his face and i paint it out again. there is a question i am afraid to ask: to supply the world with what?

and this … royalty!reader is really . confused i think. to supply the world with what? what’s their purpose? what good can someone do when they’re stuck in a castle? they don’t know, so they keep painting. and maybe that’s enough.

…. i can’t remember if i mentioned this to you before but. i imagine that reader paints suguru a Lot once the events of the fic are over. as in…… eventually a corner of their room is dedicated to him and no one else . he’s very embarrassed about it. cutie <333

portrait of fryderyk in shifting light

THIS POEM . richard siken when i fucking catch you. it’s one of my absolute favorites of his and it…. really really REALLY helped me write some scenes 😭 especially the one where reader is painting. the writing is just so beautiful and flows so well. and it fits the themes of the fic perfectly !!

i sussed the gesso into foam and white roses, stalling. i troubled the shadows and silvered his edges. what can you know about a person? they shift in the light.

silvered his edges …. something something royalty!reader @ knight!sugu . BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING …. what can you know about a person? they shift in the light. that’s another quote that really gets to the core of the fic i think….!!! both sugu and reader aren’t what they seem to be. they shift in the light!!!

i find the parts that overlap with mine and light them up in clayd and creams, yellow music singing pink, the flicker of his mouth a purple rust. his face congeals as he settles in. his hair is bronze in here, not gold: walnut, bark, and cinnamon, chipped brick tipped in ink.

OUGHHHHHH AGAIN I’M JUST . so . enamored with the way he writes 💔💔💔 the colours…. the paint……. this is what goes through reader’s head when they’re painting suguru

difficult, to be confronted with the fact of yourself. opaque in the sense of finally solid, in the sense of see me, not through me.

SEE ME NOT THROUGH ME 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 yeah. reader wants to be Seen but not Discovered. suguru does both. he sees them and sees through them and stays anyway. it’s difficult to accept yourself but he does it for them. he sees the wolf and the lamb and the little fox beneath !!!! and reader sees him for the kind wolf that he is :333

litany in which certain things are crossed out

h … heavy breathing …. another of my favorite siken poems . this one was my absolute fav for a while….. it’s a really long one and there are just . soo many lines that reminds me of them!!! :((((

of course, she wakes the dragon. love always wakes the dragon and suddenly flames everywhere. i can already tell you think i’m the dragon, that would be so like me, but i’m not. i’m not the dragon. i’m not the princess either. (…) okay, so i’m the dragon. big deal. you still get to be the hero. you get magic gloves! a fish that talks! you get eyes like flashlights! what more do you want?

THE DRAGON/PRINCESS IMAGERYYYY. LOVE ALWAYS WAKES THE DRAGON !!!!!!! reader views themselves as The Dragon while suguru views them as The Princess . he’s The Hero obviously. i think reader is bitter towards suguru at the beginning for a Lot of reasons but one of them is jealousy. knights are domesticated creatures so they aren’t exactly Free but . they have more freedom than a chained royal . they get to run around in the forest and by the sea and they get to see the world :((( what more could he want?

you said i could have anything i wanted, but i just couldn’t say it out loud.

throws up blood . yeah . the knight offers his lord anything they wish for but they can’t say what they truly wish for . they can’t push the words out of their mouth .

forget the dragon, leave the gun on the table, this has nothing to do with happiness.

EXPLODES !!!!!!!! one of my favorite siken lines Ever. idk it’s just the vibes . i know you’ll understand mickey!!!!!!!! forget the dragon, this has nothing to do with happiness……

i want more applesauce. i want more seats reserved for heroes. dear forgiveness, i saved a plate for you. quit milling around the yard and come inside.

🥺🥺🥺 this line is so…. pretty. and hopeful. it makes me think more of knight!sugu than reader because i think he’s done many things he can’t forgive himself for . but the forgiveness he yearns for is just within reach . all he needs is a push. and i think reader more than anyone wants the better things in life — for themselves and for their knight.

suguru is passive in his suffering, but reader is willing to reach for what they want. and i think that inspires him. quit milling around the yard and come inside!!!!!! stupid silly knight >:((

unfinished duet

this is knight!suguru’s anthem . boy oh boy do i have thoughts about this ……

he wants to be tender and merciful. that sounds overly valorous. sounds like penance. and his hands? his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. him being you.

heavy breathing …. he wants to be tender and merciful. sounds like penance. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i have …. soooo many thoughts about knight!suguru but the center of his character really is Guilt. shame. he wants to repent for things he can’t remember doing. knights are meant to be ashamed . it’s the catholic in them i think

then there’s the bird line ….. as much as he pushes and pushes for that connection, he’s just as scared as reader is when it comes to intimacy!! his hands turn into birds and fly away from them . he’s afraid of crossing a line or boundary. i tried to show it in the fic but like …. he’s very particular about certain things . he’s willing to bend certain rules (esp later when his devotion starts sticking more to his lord than his knighthood) but he’s Very firm about other things . like not calling them by name at first . it’s a little… too much for him. knights really have to tiptoe that line.

…. there’s this one arthurian work that i love. that you’ve definitely heard about bc it’s so popular + they made a movie out of it and i don’t think it was a good adaptation but it was soooooo so good as a movie . gawain and the green knight….. I DON’T WANNA RAMBLE TOO MUCH BUT UM. i love the arthuriana :333 and i’m mentioning this story because gawain is tested on his value as a knight right. there’s a whole thing about how he kisses a man’s wife because it’d be impolite to deny the lady’s wishes (rejecting her would go against his honour as a knight), but he can’t sleep with her because that would go against … his honour as a knight. it’s a whole. purity thing. you need to be chivalrous but also chaste. so knight!sugu acts all charming and flirty but when reader wants him to cross the line between them he’s like 😳 yeah. he’s . a silly little guy .

what did you really want? someone to pass this with me. you wanted more.

cries . throws up . this is both knight!sugu and royalty!reader actually …. they limit themselves because they don’t think they capable of / allowed to have the thing they really want :(((( just having somebody by their side is enough for now….

was there no one else? his hands keep turning into birds, and his hands keep flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

…. yeahhhh . 😔😔 yeah . sorry this poem is wrecking me a little . eventually the birds must land!!!! knight!suguru can resist and royalty!reader can resist in kind but one day that distance Will be breached. they’re doomed to fall (positive).

snow and dirty rain

and finally …. this beast . it’s the final poem of siken’s crush collection and it goes…. insanely hard. soooo many lines here remind me of them mickey :((((( it’s sickening actually . just a little push more and then you’re free 🫂🫂🫂 here is a drink for u to sip while reading i made it just for you ☕️

we can do anything. it’s not because our hearts are large, they’re not, it’s what we struggle with.

OUGHHH . yeah . knight!sugu and royalty!reader both have pretty small hearts but they’re kinda…. overfilled . i think . they both struggle with kindness despite wanting to Do Good .

my dragonfly, my black-eyed fire, the knives in the kitchen are singing for blood, but we are the crossroads, my little outlaw, and this is the map of my heart, the landscape after cruelty which is, of course, a garden, which is a tenderness, which is a room, a lover saying hold me tight, it’s getting cold.

….. i just realized every single one of these quotes is gonna wreck me entirely . I’M JUST???? THIS IS THEM?!????? IT WAS MADE FOR THEM?????? MY DRAGONFLY MY BLACK-EYED FIRE. MY LITTLE OUTLAW. the landscape after cruelty which is OF COURSE a garden which is OF COURSE a tenderness which is OF COURSE a room of sleeping lovers. tenderness is a garden . etcetc.

we have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven, which brings us back to the hero’s shoulders and a gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.

just kill me actually . i wrote some of these lines here wayyyy back when you first sent this ask so being forced to read them again is . hurting me mickey 😭😭😭 FOR THE RECORD. this one is extremely knight!reader/prince!toru coded. the gentleness that comes not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it… yeahhh. you get me.

you said tell me about your books, your visions made of flesh and light and i said this is the moon. this is the sun. let me name the stars for you.

🥺🥺🥺 reader asks about his life and visions and dreams . and suguru tells them about the moon and the sun and the constellations ….. ”let me name the stars for you.” <- SUCH a sugu thing to say. i can’t stand him . he’s so devoted it hurts when i think about him

we were in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want, so i said what do you want, sweetheart? and you said kiss me.

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😵‍💫😭😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 KISS ME . this is literally the final scene between them . under the stars. suguru asks what they want and all they want is a kiss. THE SWEETHEART …… lowkey his favorite petname. i’m partial to it. they go through all the suffering and growing together and finally arrive at the gold room. where they get what they want. and all they want is each other . (sound of muffled sobbing)

we are all just trying to be holy. my applejack, my silent night, just mash your lips against me. we are all going forward. none of us are going back.

and finally …… this 💔💔💔 it’s just . perfect. it’s so hopeful and it makes me so emotional. just mash your lips against me; none of us are going back. even though they were both born for doom there’s a bright future ahead of them :’3

OKAY I’M DONE . FINALLY . if you read all this then just know i’m smothering you in kisses…. i’m doing that regardless though . i love you!!!! thank you for loving them with me!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 i hope this was a fun read despite the wait </3

[teddybeartoji]

i have a questionnnnn

do you like video games?

and do you know baldur's gate 3 and final fantasy 7?

i got into those during my last vacations and idk why it never occurred to me to ask you even tho i am obsessed with astarion and sephiroth (it's always the white haired guys my taste is so predictable) and cloud but that's another thing

the characterization in both of those games is soooo good especially if you watch almost everything ff7 related like i did (takes a while though)

anyways i felt you could do them justice if you were to write about them, especially astarion. ngl i was very disappointed when i went on socials, as usual, to consume content about the media i just watched and i was very shocked in a bad way

not by the quality, there's just tons of thirst edits for example and while i agree his character is pretty and everything, it kinda hurt cuz it just went against his WHOLE character arc ... i was very disappointed with the fandom haha

same with sephiroth, though i didnt resent as much cuz his story isn't about the fact of being sexualized against his will

UGH I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH. SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING -

anyways yeah i love media in general, series/movies/games you name it as long as there's a story or just one character that i rlly like i'll love it

so i was wondering what games you liked... or media in general at this point, except the movies you posted about

also no pressure but is there a system with asks? are they removed from your inbox if you answer them? are they automatically deleted after some time? just to know cuz i haven't gotten an answer to mine and i'm scared i might've said something bad! esp since i read badly your rules and didn't see a negation and maybe said smth about looking forward to a next part :') smh

HELLOO NONNIEE:3333 I LOVE VIDEO GAMESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i have only heard abt baldur's gate and final fantasy sadly!!!! i have nothing against them they just don't necessarily seem my type of games.. BALDUR'S GATE CHARACTER CREATION SEEMS SO FUCKING FUN THOUGH OMFGGG

and i've definitely seen and heard a lot of astarion!!!!!!!!!! i've also seen some stuff abt him being really overly sexualized right????? his character seems so cool i would love to get to know him better wahh i really do wanna try baldur's gate one day!!!!!!! and unfortunately i only know sephiroth by name too:((( i'm sorry to disappoint u nonnie baby:(((

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH VIDEO GAMES I LIKEEEE!!!!! my all time favourite is definitely the last of us part 2!!!!!!!!!!!! i am on my like... sixth playthrough on that lmao i'm doing it on grounded so yk wish me luck!!!!! anywayy i ofc like the first one too but man.. the second one hits harder for me tbh. then i really fucking love ghost of tsushima, i'm actually replaying it rn too hehe.

honorable mentions go to rdr2, until dawn, the newest dead space remake, god of war, disco elysium, the resident evil games, assassin's creed (i know a lot of ppl don't like these all that much but idk i think they're really fun!! esp black flag and odyssey)(ok i am biased bc these were like my first games ever lmao), days gone (this is another that most think is rather lame but again.. i think it's really fucking fun i have nothing against it) aaaand death stranding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahh so many games damn i might've forgotten some but these are some that i really love!!!!!!!!!!!! i have played almost all of them multiple times too lmao that's crazy

for overall media i'd just give a lil shoutout to the 'mindhunter' series on netflix!!!!!!!!!!!!! i absolutely fucking looove that show!!!!!!!! i've seen that multiple times too i love the characters and just the way it's done overall!!!!!!!!! also 'manic' i think that's a netflix one too.. that's a really short one but idk it changed me okay i think it's fucking great

OMGG AND WAAAHHH TRUST THAT I STILL HAVE YOUR ASK!!! I AM JUST REALLY SLOW WITH ANSWERING THEM SO I AM VERY SORRY ABT THAT!!!!!!! and you definitely haven't crossed any lines either, so it's one hundred percent on me!!!!!!!!! the thing is that i get a bit overwhelmed when i have to answer things which sounds ridiculous bc I LOOOOVEEEE TALKING TO YOU GUYSSS my brain just sucks okay i'm sorry

[nalyra-dreaming]

(pt1) This'll be unpopular, but book!Lestat (esp. in book 1) was no better than show!Lestat. They aren't carbon copies, and yes the DV was more brutal than anything he did to Louis in the book. But even post-IWTV, Lestat admits to blackout rages where he's capable of anything. His seeming lack of remorse felt like a bigger change to me - I do think book!Lestat would be truly sorry for harming Louis & would apologise more sincerely, but tbh even that opinion is informed more by the later books.

I agree!

And I keep repeating that they are following the book very closely in theme, and narrative. And in book IWTV, especially the first half, Lestat was... the "villain". The one Claudia tries to kill. And she/they had her/their reasons for it.

As we are entering the second half of the book now this will likely change, as it did in the book (slowly).

A little note re the DV, because it's been going round my head:

The DV in episode 5 felt jarring, but they already set it up in episode 1. They did show Lestat's anger issues, plainly, and quite clearly, imho. For me it was clear that they would go there. And that it would be painful.

This said - I think there are always the grand storyline of the show to consider as well. AND the changes they made to it.

The "fight" in episode 5 is roughly split into three parts for me. (I've discussed the implications of why and impact and used imagery elsewhere, this is just in regards to the split of it, and imho, obviously)

The parlor fight. A heightened version of the quote I shared in the other ask yesterday, adapted to the sheer fact that Lestat is so much older here. I see that part up until Claudia hears Louis telling her they're "done". Rather straight book adaption, imho.

Then there's the first half of the second part, the... dragging. Lestat is weird here. I think a lot of people saw that as OOC because... it kinda is. Not just the action itself, but his words, too. Even while writing the fic „Love the…“ though I was thinking about the Dubai storyline, and the adaptions to the overall theme - we are on a much, much more condensed timeline. We know that "you know what and who" can influence vampires, and thrives on blood and violence... and that the process of becoming aware... was a difficult one. Since Lestat has been by Those Who Must Be Kept and Rolin has already referred to Prince Lestat... EDIT: @lestatthelittlelion reminded me that Lestat drags Armand and then holds him by the neck in TVL, which again is not exactly the same… but pretty close. Might be worth to consider in combination with the next point, too, since…:

And then the "flight". Said before by various people, and me, too, that Louis did not experience a fall like this at that point in the books, but both Armand and Lestat did - if you consider that Armand is there in Dubai, and has obviously influenced Louis in some kind of way that "before" applies. Lestat's words obviously fit very well but the drop... hmmm. It just seems too... fitting, if that makes sense.

Now, I said it before, I can obviously be wrong with all of this, and I am not sure if they'll revisit this at all, nor am I sure if they should. In a very real way I just want them to go forward, and let the story unfold, slowly, and with people needing to follow its twists and turns.

I would prefer that to a retelling.

[true-blue-sonic]

Given his ESP, how do you think Silver would do in a sensory deprivation tank?

I read this ask this morning, promptly went "Oh, that sounds AWFUL," looked it up, read on Wikipedia that it's a water-filled tank, went "OH GOD", and only afterwards saw that it's only up to 25 centimeters and supposed to be an 'alternative medicine' kind of thing. But that was definitely an experience in the early hours of the day, lmao.

As for Silver and his ESP, he's never ever actually indicated having extra-sensory perception. In the Rivals games ESP/Psychic Control refers to him scrambling his opponents sense of direction, which is not at all having knowledge of events happening far away or at different times than the present, haha. Nor does the sense of precognition that TSR hints at him having developed mean the same... maybe. But on the other hand, we do have ESP Silver from Runners, who's "discovered his true power" and constantly floats with his psychokinesis, but where his "true power" is otherwise left unexplained. So I am a bit on the fence regarding whether Silver's powers also allow for "having awareness" of his surroundings in a more psychic sense, but it doesn't seem impossible to me either.

But to be quite honest, I actually think Silver's mentality/personality is going to cause him far more issues in a sensory deprivation tank/float tank than his powers do. I figure that he'll have to have absolutely nothing on his hands to be able to enjoy such an experience. The moment he's got any mission, he'll be far too crabby and tense to be able to relax, focusing far more on the fact he's not actively doing anything to bring it to a good end than on the calming aspects of the tank. Thus, he might feel as if he's wasting his time just floating around there, even more because he can just float with his own powers (even if that is not in water with Epsom salt plus sensory deprivation, but Silver's more simple-minded mentality might not make a big distinction between all that). I don't think he'll feel particularly claustrophobic if it's a pod since he can just teleport out again, but overall I doubt it'll be a particularly pleasant experience for him. Nor can I say with certainty how the sensory deprivation aspect of it all will affect him or his powers. But if he's got a mission on his hands, he'll probably decline going in there in the first place, I feel like. And if he doesn't have anything to do and accepts, I don't think he'll be able to stay very long regardless. But since psychokinesis is a power of the mind, I am definitely curious how such an experience would play into them!

[lesbianyosano]

manifesting Fukufuku dying in each others arms -> I am losing it slowly anyway thoughts on the newest chapter?

this has been sitting in my askbox since september and im really sorry anwsering took so long, but ive been trying to articulate how the last few chapters/last episode made me feel and im still not sure, because there have been so many bizzare choices made by both asagiri and the ppl behind the anime i still cant wrap my head around it fully (this got stupid long sorry)

starting with fukuzawa, i made a post a while back talking abt how i was assuming he was going to die/why it'd make a lot of sense, and there were really two main reasons for that; 1. he hasnt had anything interesting to offer for the story for a while and 2. his ability actively stops other important characters (mainly atsushi and kyouka) from further developement. the first thing is now gone which im pretty happy with! i love fukuzawa a lot so it's nice to see him finally have a purpose in the main story and im excited to see where it will go (also fukufuku you will always be famous to me <3333333), but the issue of his ability is still very much here. ive seen ppl theorize that all men are equal is just him lying and there is no ability but i honest to god would hate that, bc it would seem like such a shallow twist. atsushi's conflict with the tiger is central to his character so if it suddenly got revealed that a huge reason why he's even capable of using his power is just placebo "believe in yourself" bullshit i think i'd tear my own hair out. so im still thinking fukuzawa may get killed at some point, esp with the position he's been put into now and how much he seems to not want it.

and as for the "chuuya was never a vampire" fiasco, i honestly have no words, it was so unbelievably bad. ik there's been a ton of posts about how "its actually good" bc fyodor's death was caused by his inability to trust, and dazai's belief in his allies is what put him at an advantage, which is nice yeah, but it doesnt change how fucking stupid of a plan that was. if their goal is to kill fyodor, why not do it in that flooded room? fyodor escapes solely bc chuuya gets him out but if he was concious the entire time why not just leave him there? why continue to pretend? im usually not a huge fan of getting angry over plot holes when the narrative and themes are whats more important, but this is just so blantantly stupid. it feels like asagiri just wanted a plot twist for a plot twist's sake. mersault in general is so poorly constructed as an arc (dazai communicating via his heartbeat,,,, give me a break) but at least you'd hope it would end in a way that makes you excuse all of that, and then it doesn't. i think this post sums up how i feel about this than i ever could

and the fact that its december and we are STILL behind the fucking anime asagiri be so for real. it's easy to see now that the constant half chapters and short releases were a deliberate choice to have the anime catch up which i dont love, but fine, whatever. but now??? what the point of half releases? these chapters have been ready for a long time, and there's no way asagiri and the editors and whoever else is involved arent aware of how frustrated the readers have been for years now. the only explanation i can think of is that maybe the manga will have a different arc conclusion and ctheyre trying to idk, make it seem like we're following the anime closely? idk this shit is so stupid

overall this past arc or two have been bad, there are some elements that make them enjoyable still, but there is no theme consistency and overreliance on cliff hangers (that ppl still somehow buy). it feels like there are no stakes to the story, and that's really bad. maybe it's why i was hoping for fukuzawa to be killed alongside fukuchi idk, it'd finally feel like something is changing

on a brief positive note i quite enjoyed fyodors death, weird catholic freak, ofc nikolai is cradling your arm like this. i was a little suprised to see fyodor killed just yet (bc he always needed to die for the story to be able to wrap up eventually), but given the jesus quote, he may as well come back in some way tbh