#//But Kae would rather DIE than ask him for one

[dutybcrne]

When Kaeya gives out hugs, they’re almost always a little too tight. If asked, he will answer it’s because he wants to test how sturdy they are or teasingly ask if his hugs are not to their liking and offer to never do them again. Really, he’s just microdosing on the sort of hug he craves without having to ask for it.

[supremenetherunderlord]

~ Bitten Blue - Chapter 1 ~

☆ (Disney) Hades x Reader

★ CW: just some good flirting.

☆ Reader's Perspective !!

As time ticks on by, Hades' days are spent either sulking in sorrow over his awful loneliness as he gazes upon the River Styx and all the poor unfortunate souls within it or plotting to overthrow Zeus and rule Mount Olympus himself.

This time, as he's in the midst of plotting (as per usual), he happens to catch a flash of light in his peripheral vision. As if it couldn't be guessed, that flash of light sent your own self—unknowingly—into the Underworld. Yet, as you gaze down at the flesh of your hands, you find that you're...still alive?

"Hey; kid," I hear a voice call out to me. "Wha'dya doin' 'ere, eh?" He doesn't seem too happy about my presence. His hair is flaring up pretty wildy, too. "You tryna botha me er what? I got things to do, I got a whole PLACE to run, ya got all that? Whatever it is, make it snappy; I don't have all day." He is DEFinitely pissed, and dealing with a gods temper is NOT what I signed up for or planned on getting myself into.

"Ironically, I'm...not dead? Aren't souls supPOSED to not be alive when they come here?" He definitely didn't take that lightly. Not in a good way, at least. His fiery hair and face shift to a deep orange with frustration. His fist slams onto the table, causing the energy to travel through its legs and make the ground quake for a good moment.

"Just what kinda joke are ya tryna play around here, huh?! I am HADES! LORD of the DEAD! If you're not DEAD, then what in the underworld are you doin' 'ere?" As if I'm even close to capable of having the answer to such a question.

"Don't ask ME, fireball, I just appeared here from thin air!" I snap. Hades crosses his arms, glaring at me as though I'm suspicious of something. His anger slowly settles down, all the while still simmering beneath the surface.

"Oy vey." He facepalms, brows furrowing in minor distress. "I got no one else to blame but myself for hiring Pain and Panic rather than investing in a halfway decent security system." He pinches at the bridge of his nose in agitation, his flames burning a shallow yellow.

"Hey, it's not like I asked to be here in the first place." I walk at a rhythmic pace, approaching Hades—still remaining at a reasonable distance from him. He conjures a skull in the palm of his hand and studies it for a moment.

"Well, since you're here, do me a favor and make yourself useful. Better yet: enlighten me, would ya?" I take note of a smirk crept upon his face and raise a brow in suspicion at his words.

"Just what are you implying?" I narrow my gaze at his own, crossing my arms and tapping my fingers against my upper arm.

"Oh—I don't know—that I could use some company? Even if it's a mere mortal like yourself, I mean. It's not like you can die twice, anyway..." He chuckles at his own words, as if I came here dead to begin with.

"Not like I could—oh, I don't know—chain your arms to your sides and torture you myself, either." I shrug, mockingly.

"Looks like I mighta met my match after all, eh?"

"Yeah? And in what way?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure how to react to someone, or a mortal for that matter, who can match my wit and humor... and isn't afraid of a bit of torture." He smirks deviously.

"I, myself, could torture you in the best ways possible—don't you worry your pretty little flaming head about it." I wink, schmoozing my way somewhere I know I shouldn't, for my own best interests.

"Hm... Perhaps we could strike a deal. You entertain me and make this place a little less dreary, and I might just let you live long enough to see the light of day again."

"Remind me why I would ever even wish to see the light of day when I would have you around to quite physically and fiery light up the entire world that surrounds me?"

Hades tilts his head, studying me. "Well now, aren't you a smooth talker? I gotta admit, I didn't expect this kind of a response from someone who just appeared out of thin air."

"More than that can happen from thin air, sweetcheeks, just you wait and see." I give Hades another wink, taking note that he seems to be enjoying it.

He chuckles, a smirk forming on his lips. "I gotta say, it has been ages since anyone's managed to ruffle my feathers in such a delightful manner. And I do love a good challenge."

"Well, you could return the favor." I shrug, making a mere suggestion.

"And just what kind of favor do you have in mind?"

"Ruffling said feathers, perchance?"

"I think I could handle that, my little firecracker." With a smirk, he steps closer to me, his expression flashing with mischief. In one swift motion, he reaches out and playfully ruffles my hair.

"I will be sure to crackle your fire, don't you worry."

"Just remember, I might be the Lord of the Dead, but I can still feel a spark or two when they're thrown my way."

"Whatever you need, and no matter the extent, I'll be here for you. Physically, for the most part, if you catch my drift."

"Oh really?" There's a hint of lust in his voice as he makes his way closer to me. "And just how far are you willing to go for me?"

"How far do you want me to go?" I lift my chin to try to regain a little more confidence.

"Why don't you show me?" He places his hand upon my chest, pretty much all of him burning with desire, flames even flaring up across his shoulders—though still blue.

I keep my composure. "Or...you could take the initiative in that matter." Feeling the warmth of his flames, my face can't help but flush in response (it's totally a blood thing).

With a smirk, he steps back and spreads his black robe wide open, revealing the flames that dance beneath it. "Consider this your invitation," he says with a sultry tone.

[clouds-rambles]

hello!~ o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

can i request headcanons for kaeya, diluc, childe, and venti on what they would while their s/o dies in their arms? (if thats okay with u <3)

thank u sm! :))

BESTIE THE PAIN I FEEL RN!!! Omw to make hurt some of my faves hope you enjoy <3

Also guys I’ve been here for a day how are there almost 50 of you following?!

Pairings; (Separate) Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Venti x reader

Warning(s); hurt, big hurty, reader death, vague wound description, cursing, talk about dead bodies

Keep reading under the cut!

Kaeya

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were meant to live forever with him. You were supposed to grow old with him and become a parent to your future children. You were-

“Kaeya” you choke out smiling at your partner above you. The man shakes his head mentally pleading with you to not die “Kaeya I will always be on the wind” you tell him, a shaky, bloody hand raised to his cheek to weekly caress it

“Please” he pleads “Please don’t die on me [name]” you smile at him feeling the breaths in your lungs disappear

“I’m sorry Kae--ya” you apologise before passing away in his arms

He doesn’t move for a long time. He doesn’t feel for a long time. The one person he could share his secrets and his love to gone. Away with the wind

Kaeya doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he’ll remember this one. 

Your beaten, bruised, broken, dead, and beautiful body slumped in his arms as his tears fall from his face as he feels an absence in his heart

How is he supposed to live on if this is the pain he feels right now?

Jean eventually stumbles upon Kaeya out in the wilds, still clutched to your now cold and even more lifeless body

Jean manages to get the man up with your body held close to his chest

“Jean, I can’t, I can’t let them go” he pleads as if he’s waiting for you to simply wake up in his arms

“Kaeya...” Jean says in a concerned tone having never seen him in such a state, even he seemed to quickly recover from his fathers death

Eventually Jean coaxed Kaeya to go back to the city and leave your body in the hands of the sisters. Where they dressed you up and prepared a funeral service for you

The funeral was larger than Kaeya was expecting, you had affected a many more people than he realised from your small jobs around the city. Kaeya can’t help but be awed at how many people you’ve helped while you were in Mond

The usual chatter of Mondstat is quiet and in a time of grieving for about a week or so, many people have wonderful memories of you and Kaeya seems to be collecting them all, that and bunches of flowers. Many of which find themselves laying on your tombstone as Kaeya tells you about his day

A month passes and it seems like everything's back to normal, Kaeya is back to his outgoing self. He spends more nights at the tavern, but even Diluc doesn’t have the heart to cut him off. 

Jean seems to pick up on the smallest things, goddamnit Jean, the extra nights at the tavern, the eyebags, the weeping she can hear from his room. In it’s own right is heart-breaking, the acting Grandmaster cannot imagine what it’s like to be actually experiencing that kind of pain

-

Diluc

No, not like this

You had both decided that night to join each other in your little vigilante escapade. Which was fine you had both done this before, but tonight resulted in something very different

Here you are, head on Dilucs lap. This could be considered romantic, and often was, were it not for the fact you felt like you choked up a mixture of your lung and your bloody supply

“Diluc” you speak with a much worse for wear voice, the red-head looks into your eyes, eyes already gaining moisture. A similar scene has befallen him before, a Diluc knows how this ends

“Please” he pleads his voice wavering “Please don’t leave me” he chokes back a sob and tears fall off his face the salt hitting your own

“I love you so much” you start, Diluc shakes his head. Must you hurt him so with last words? “Don’t blame yourse-” another set of hacking befalls you as you lose more blood

“Please” he pleads again as the grip you had on his arm goes slack indicating your loss of life

Diluc screams, he cries and he hugs you close. He screams into the air of Mondstat until his voice hurts and he cries until all he’s doing is dry sobbing and he holds you close until you’re broken body is pried from his own broken mind

A wondering Jean heard his screams into the night sky and hereby answered them. She never expected to see Diluc, still in his vigilante getup, crying over your body

She calls for more guards who take your body from his and Jean helps Diluc get back to the estate. At one point during the walk Jean can feel DIluc shaking and hyperventilating. So they stand for a moment, Jean holds and comforts the wine-master before they move again

Jean has never seen such emotion from Diluc before, and she wholeheartedly hopes she’ll never have to see it again. Seeing Diluc so raw and rife with emotion is enough to make anyone cry. And Jean nearly did on more than one occasion.

Your funeral is small, much to Dilucs request and really only were attended by the estate and Jean. Diluc didn’t want to cry again in such a large audience

Though the maids often hear pained sobs coming from Dilucs room as he contemplates and often blames himself for what had transpired. Maids daren’t speak up about what they hear though, Diluc’s pain is more than understandable

Diluc throws himself into work opting to man the bar most days of the week and fighting for the city as often as he can. People around him are more than concerned

Diluc’s stoic nature seems to be intensified now, not wanting to let another person in and die in his arms. He’s seen enough death for his life and wishes not to lose more loved ones

Everything seems to have moved back to what life was before you arrived in your life, depressive, monotonous, boring, mundane for the most part and sad. So very sad

He wishes for a day where his heart isn’t strife with grief, but he doubts that day will not be coming anytime soon

-

Childe

You grin up at him, feeling close to naught pain coming from the gaping wound thanks to the excess of adrenaline that’s pumping through your body

“Childe” you say the smile still on your lips in an attempt at not making the situation as dark and horrific as it is. Childe speaks your name in return

“I love you” you tell him mustering the strength to cup the mans cheek, who immediately nuzzles into it. The situation almost doesn’t feel real to him. He’s going to be shaken awake by a very unwounded you in just a moment and inform him he’s having a nightmare

But that moment doesn’t come. Nor do any words come from you. Your slow rhythms of your heart remind you that he’s still got time, but you’ve expended all your energy. Your smile you’re wearing seems to be dropping

“I love you [name], I love you so much, you are everything I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you” he rambles bringing your body to his chest

“Live for--- me” you sputter out into his chest, a dying wish that Childe isn’t too sure he can uphold. Is it really living if he’s an empty vessel.

You go limp in his arms and he can no longer sense your heartbeat. Death had finally laid claim to you

Childe sits with you for hours, you’d expect him to be wailing like a banshee if you knew his personality but that’s rather not the case. Sobbing quietly is a better word for what happens. Most of his sobs and hacks for air are hidden in your hair. He pulled your body to his shoulder just to weep

Eventually he finds himself mustering the courage to walk back to Liyue Harbour. You firmly held in his arms. He knows that if he walks too plainly the Millelith would pry and ask too many questions for his fragile heart to answer

Childe ends up barging into the wangsheng funeral parlour, which surprises Zhongli a little. He’s about to go on a rant to Childe about how he must book an appointment, until he sees your lifeless body in his arms

The funeral is arranged quickly and neatly. There aren’t many people who attend, Childe is okay with that, he secretly wants to see his family and cry on their shoulder a bit

Instead he opts for a letter, which arrives to the family tear stained and lacking the usual penmanship ‘I’m sorry, you won’t be able to see [name] after all. They passed away not too long ago...’ he basically writes your arbitrary in the letter. And his whole heart is in every word he writes

Determined not to let anybody in Childe finds himself in a pattern, when he’s not throwing himself into battles he’s doing paper work or yelling at his subordinates and when he’s not doing that he’s doing his weekly fight with the traveller. Childe gets next to no sleep and instead opts to reading and rereading every letter and note you’ve ever given him

If Childe passes out at his desk nobody bothers him either in fear of getting yelled at by the harbinger or an understanding of losing a loved one

They never said being a harbinger was fulfilling work. Yet, he let himself believe that he could be fulfilled and content with a lover. What a shameful lie

-

Venti

He’s awfully quiet. He hasn’t experienced death in so long. Especially one he thought would be forever.

He couldn’t even get to you to hear your last words. Ironic isn’t it? He hadn’t heard that guys last words either. And yet this pains him so much more

Sure mortal lives are fleeting but he was certain he had more time with you. More time to see you grow old, more time to put off your inevitable mortality. More time to-

He’s hyperventilating, Venti’s body shakes as he finds nothing to ground himself not even the person he loves so dear is there for him. He feels like he could explode, breaths caught in his throat refusing to surface and come up for air. Despite being an immortal archon, the breaths that refuse to surface don’t fail to make him feel like he’s choking

A bard he is. And one that knows every song from the past, present and future. Suddenly the pained songs from the future make sense to him. He knew what was written. A love lost

Suddenly he finds himself crying and hunched over your deceased form making promises to the wind that he’ll never forget you. Much like he’ll ever forget that bard

He isn’t sure how long has passed but he’s still sobbing over your form, there aren’t many tears left for him to cry but he can’t find himself stopping. He feels like they’ll never stop. 

Maybe he could lay beside you and sleep for another thousand years. But that would only delay the inevitable. The inevitable sinking feeling.

Maybe it was his fault for letting himself fall in love with a mortal, but in the moment he could truly see you living life with him. He could see a marriage, children. He wanted you to have it all.

Damn celestia and all things above for not letting you ascend, at least when he inevitably ascends you’ll be there to greet him. Curse that and your mortality

Jean eventually stumbles upon him during a recon mission to find him covering your body in various flowers, a crown made of cecelias don your head. He’s quiet, but he’s saying goodbye. Who would blame him? Jean doesn’t interrupt him and only wishes you a farewell

News of your death spread around town like wildfire, your grave donned with more flowers than Venti can count. He almost feels bad about not doing a public service after seeing how many people are truly in mourning

Diluc doesn’t push Venti to pay his growing tab no matter how much he should. And Diluc doesn’t say no to Venti singing his happy tunes in the tavern

It feels like his life has retuned to normal. Though Jean can’t help but look out the library window to see Venti sat atop his statue with an expression, as Jean can only guess, of sadness.

Venti finds himself going back to an old schedule again but he can’t miss the nagging feeling of somethings missing. The something being you

Sometimes he half expects you to hug him from behind, or join him up at the statue, or kiss him on his nose, or-

Venti can’t quite comprehend how he feels, he just knows there’s a hole in his heart where you belonged. And he doesn’t want to let anyone find their way into there

He doesn’t want to lose again

It’s happened too much

[torilaa]

Kreia? ;)

You HAD to ask for the most complicated character imaginable XD! Also one of the most interesting characters (in my opinion).

First impression

Mystic hag lady who I'm veeery suspicious about since she freaking spoke to a Sith weirdo like she knew him. Also, why are you are never happy with what I do, Kreia? What do you want from me? Though I did think she was very interesting character to listen to (her voice actress is awesome). I just HAD to know what her deal was.

Impression now

Kreia is “a cynic” and an “unreliable narrator.” What she tells the Exile should be taken with a massive grain of salt since she has ulterior motives and is manipulating you the entire game. 

Also, I find her to be evil, but not in the “mwhahaha” Sith fashion, but in a “I know how to manipulate you without you even knowing about it.” Like Palpatine. That sort of evil, I find, is way more interesting and terrifying. And I love it. 

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss basically. 

Favorite moment

When she saves the Exile from being killed by the Jedi Council. All of her lines during this scene are quotable. Also, just all the moments when she dunks on Atton. Very entertaining.

Idea for a story

I’d love to write a character piece! I wrote a very short piece already on how she became Revan’s first Master. I didn’t go too in-depth with what their actual master-student relationship was like and I’d love to write that (it wasn’t all sunshine and daisies).

Unpopular opinion

Yeah...I have a lot of unpopular opinions when it comes to Kreia XD! Essay incoming.

I don’t really agree with her philosophy. I interpret the Force as a literal “force of nature.” It doesn’t care about the “mortals” enough to care if it helps or destroys. Mortals have free will to chose what to use the Force for...and it’s that free will that causes conflict, not the Force. Basically, if human nature didn’t suck, the Force wouldn’t be a problem. 

I can see how Kreia came to her conclusion about the Force being the source of conflict in the galaxy though since some “forces of nature” like earthquakes, kill many people and cause conflict. But her conclusion is to then to destroy the Force which is…worse. Sure, nature could be “evil” yet it could also be beneficial. An earthquake could destroy your town…and it would be nice to put an end to earthquakes…but without earthquakes, the tectonic plates stop moving and no mountains….yeah, Earth is dead. 

I think Kreia couldn’t stand that she failed. She blamed the Force because if it wasn’t the Force, if she had free will, then her failures were her own. Her ego couldn’t let her take any responsibility for her actions. Kreia would rather risk having the galaxy die without the Force then admit she failed.

This really makes me look like I hate Kreia but I don’t XD! I love her character, I think she’s fascinating. Just...I think she’s flawed. Not 100% correct on everything.

Favorite relationship

Atton x Kreia, enemies to lovers, let’s go. 

“You fool,” Kreia says, seductively.

......I’m sorry, I’m joking - I swear XD! Well, I really like the master-student relationship between her and the Exile even if it is toxic lol. I go for female Exile most of the time and I headcanon that the Exile is similar to Kreia (she’s very cynical because of the war). So, Kreia sort of represents something the Exile could become if she allows her grief to fester.

Favorite headcanon

Other than the idea that Kreia was Arren Kae, I like to imagine that she had very high-expectations when it came to teaching Revan (who was labeled a genius - ah, the “gifted kid” syndrome). 

To me, Kreia was like those parents who only pay attention to their child if they get “As” and then they force them to take piano lessons on top of that because they want a prodigy child. Then when their child becomes a prodigy, they feel like it was because of them. Oh, and if their child fails, well, it wasn’t their fault. Basically...I think Kreia was a bit of a narcissist. She is the main reason why my Revan became so curious and jumped from master to master. He wanted to impress Kreia so much that he would have read the entire archives to get her attention. Of course...that attention was rarely received :(

Overall, Kreia really shouldn’t have been a teacher/mother figure lol. 

[sebgender]

this is a diluc and kaeya angst fic! i would like to point out that their bond is 100% familial and platonic! (i Do Not support kae!uc whatsoever)

i posted this on wattpad and ao3 (@sebgender) and if you would like, you can follow me on twitter (@sebgender) as well!

i did not have anyone read this over so i apologize if there are any spelling or grammatical errors. i hope you enjoy!

—————————

gods.

kaeya has never had a strong belief in the gods. despite growing up in mondstadt, where they worshipped barbatos, he couldn't help but feel out of place. but who could he blame? born in khaenri'ah, a place without any deities who watched over the people, of course he would be skeptical of these so-called seven archons.

.................

it was the day aether and all the acquaintances he made while traveling teyvat would confront his sister and the rest of the abyss order. it had been gloomy since the morning, dark clouds looming in the sky.

aether had gone off to confront lumine personally, while the rest of them stayed back to fend off the mages and its subordinates. the knights of favonius were present as well. the acting grandmaster and captains leading groups out to fight, barbara and the other sisters on the side, healing and tending to the injured.

rain started to fall and things quickly became chaotic. the stream of enemies seemed never ending. more and more knights running out of energy and getting injured. kaeya's ears rang as he fought, becoming less and less aware of his surroundings. kneeling by one of the trees, a voice called out to him.

"big brother kaeya!! kaeyaaa!!!"

he whipped his head around to see klee sprinting towards him. even klee, the effervescent spark knight, seemed to lack her usual upbeat smile. her small legs carried her as fast as they could. his breath hitched. this was the first time he'd ever seen the girl so...shaken up? he couldn't tell if it was tears or rain that streamed down her face.

"klee? what's wrong? are you alright?"

she was crying. as she got closer, her sobs became more audible.

"we have to go!! he needs help!! he's hurt!"

she tugged at him, urging him to get up quickly. grabbing hold of his hands, she ran, pulling him back towards the direction she came from.

"klee, who's hurt? you have to tell me so i know"

she started crying harder, her grip on his hand tightening.

"aether's sister hurt him."

his eye widened before taking klee into his arms and taking off.

"klee, where is he?!"

"he's near the winery! master jean told me to go look for you."

"is jean with him?"

"master jean had to go get healed by barbara."

kaeya's patience was running thin. he was about to question her again but was cut off by a loud clap of thunder. running as fast as he could, he could make out three standing figures in front of the winery. there were knights scattered around. kaeya couldn't tell whether they were injured or dead. klee started to squirm in his arms as she tried to release herself.

klee let out a blood curdling scream and kaeya watched as the blonde figure sunk her blade straight through the shoulder of a read head.

"DON'T HURT HIM!!!!!"

klee sprinted towards them. aether limped, almost falling, and grabbed the girl and pushed her head into the crook of his neck. klee has been assigned to fend off hilichurls but now has witnessed diluc being injured. she should have never been put on the field today.

"KLEE YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN!!" aether yelled.

"THAT LADY IS HURTING HIM!! MAMA SAID I HAVE TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE I LOVE. I HAVE TO HELP LIKE MAMA SAID!!"

klee was having a full on breakdown now; she sobbed and screamed while lashing around in aether's hold trying to get him to let go. diluc didn't as much as let out a wince before trying to raise his claymore again. it seemed that diluc had gotten to aether before kaeya and klee did. lumine was quick to pull out her sword, blood splattering on the ground. kaeya was stuck in his place.

move.

move!

WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?! HELP HIM!!

his mind cleared as he saw klee rip from aether's grasp and run towards lumine.

"KLEE NO!!! LUMINE DON'T HURT HER!!!!" screamed aether.

kaeya sprinted after her and managed to grab her before she was in range of lumine's blade.

"klee, let big brother kaeya take care of this, okay? i need you to take aether to barbara. can you do that for me?"

she sniffled before nodding and running back towards the traveler. turning back towards lumine, his face dropped, not an ounce of emotion could be seen.

"kaeya. i'm surprised that you'd go to such lengths to protect the ones against you. have you forgotten who you are?"

"i could ask you the same. who do you think you are swinging your blade at a child?!"

"i wasn't going to hurt her. i was going to use the butt of my blade to knock her out at most. i still have morals."

"it sure doesn't seem like it. i told you that i no longer associate myself with the likes of you or khaenri'ah, for a mater of fact. i grew up here and i will protect it."

"kaeya, i thought we could work this out. we could have gotten revenge together. don't you want that? or would you rather stay stuck in a place, surrounded by the people who worship the same gods who never cared about you!?"

"if they didn't care about me, they wouldn't have saved me!! this is not a matter of my faith in the gods but me wanting to protect the place and people i love!"

"fine. then i'll just end you now."

lumine charged at him, kaeya quick to dodge. the two went at it for sometime, diluc long forgotten about by lumine. the pyro wielder kneeled, holding his wound as he watched the two fight. it was obvious that both were running out of stamina. at some point, kaeya's eyepatch has fallen off as well. his eyes were unfocused as he tried to play offense, but it wasn't enough.

time had suddenly slowed as kaeya watched her blade come closer and closer towards his heart. had he been quicker on his feet, maybe he could've helped more people. but of course, it no longer mattered. he was about to die. his eyes subconsciously closed, his body inviting the blade to end him — yet it never came.

seconds passed before he opened his eyes. diluc stood in front of him and as kaeya looked down, he saw the sword come out the other end.

"di...luc?"

as if on que, the man fell to his knees. his hands still firmly held the blade where he grabbed as lumine changed directions and stabbed him through his abdomen. the rain poured harder and lumine started making her retreat.

it was all making sense as he gripped his sword and started to charge towards the girl but a hand wrapped around his ankle, preventing him from going further.

"...it's not worth it. you'll get hurt."

"diluc, lay down, quick. we have to stop the bleeding. you'll be fine."

kaeya stumbled over his words as he layed diluc down on the wet grass. he took off his cape and pressed it against his wound.

"i'm sorry."

kaeya eyes snapped up to diluc's face.

"what are you apologizing for, you idiot...?just....shut up and save your breath. i don't know what nonsense you're spewing but now is not the time."

"there's no need for all the effort. i won't make it."

kaeya ignored the redhead and continued applying pressure to the wound while looking around for anyone who could possibly heal diluc. both his shoulder and abdomen were causing him to loose blood at a rapid pace. the grass he laid on was dyed a dark crimson.

diluc shook his head. it was futile, his efforts would be in vain. in around 5 to 10 minutes, he would die from blood loss. no words were exchanged, both men too scared to break the seemingly fragile silence.

"......why would you do that?"

diluc grunted in response rather than replying with words. kaeya gripped the fabric he held to diluc's abdomen even harder.

"...you fucking saved me. why?"

"because."

"because what?! what are doing protecting the same person who betrayed you, diluc?!"

"kaeya, i don't care about that anymore!! i haven't cared for years. i saved you because you are worthy of being saved!!"

silence again. it was deafening.

"you can't."

"huh?"

"you're not allowed to leave again. he said you have to stay with me, no matter what.."

at that moment, the red head laughed a genuine laugh. kaeya looked at him like he was crazy.

"you know, i never left in the first place. i've always been here. whether you wanted to take advantage of that, was up to you."

"don't give me that bullshit!! you left mondstadt for 3 years without your goddamned vision and we had no contact! i had no idea if you would even come back."

"but i did, didn't i?"

"it doesn't matter! you were surviving off the same delusion that killed your father! you could've been next!"

"our."

kaeya was dumbfounded. was diluc listening to a word he said? his answers were short, not making any sort of sense to blue haired man.

"he was our father, not just mine."

"is this really our biggest problem at hand?!"

"yes. you know how much he loved you. he cared for you as much as he cared for me. he is our father, it doesn't matter if you acknowledge it or not."

before kaeya could retort, diluc spoke again.

"he loved when you referred to him as your father. i remember the first day you showed up at the winery, looking confused as ever. he crouched down in front of me and asked me if i wanted a brother. he was willing to take you in from the very start."

kaeya had nothing to say as diluc's breathing became increasingly labored. yet, instead of taking it easy, he insisted on continuing his story.

"even when he saw you standing there, watching as he took his last breath, he didn't hate you. he never could. he told me to stay with you. selfishly, i left for three years but i came back....because i knew that's what he would have wanted."

"....why are you telling me this now?"

diluc's face had gone even more pale, sweat dripping down his face despite the cold rain. he wheezed and coughed as he spoke.

"to remind you that even though you're witnessing this exact scene again, you are not to blame. dad doesn't blame you, and neither do i."

"blame me for what? what scene? diluc, you're gonna make it. you aren't gonna die in the same place as crepus." kaeya laughed nervously.

surely it wasn't happening right? surely barbara would come running down here any second and heal diluc and they would go back to their daily bantering at the tavern. everything would go back to normal!

"no matter what you decide to do, please don't sell the winery."

"stop...stop! what are you saying right now?!"

kaeya became frantic once again, shouting out for help, only halting as he felt a hand fall on top of his own. kaeya's body temperature is always lower than others due to his cryo vision, but even with his pyro vision, diluc's hand felt colder than kaeya's.

"you have to keep going, alright?"

kaeya looked down at diluc, eyes filling with tears that he has not shed in quite a few years.

"kae......"

diluc's eyes conveyed everything single thing he could've possibly wanted to say in his last moments. so even with his limited words, he wanted to at least say something. so, with a smile and his last breath, he repeated the same words he told kaeya all those years ago.

"even if you don't think so, you were — and always will be — the best older brother i could have ever wished for."

as diluc's eyes closed, kaeya could hear the footsteps of knights behind him and his name being called out.

kaeya!

kaeya!

"KAEYA!!"

kaeya shook his head and rapidly blinked as he finally came back to reality.

"you were spacing out again and i still have some paperwork to do. i'm not trying to rush you but...."

"ah, so sorry jean. i...uh. i came to ask if i could change some of my info that is currently in the files?"

"oh? what would you like changed?"

kaeya's eyes dropped down to the now unlit pyro vision hanging next to his own.

"i think i want to change my last name... back to ragnvindr."

.................

but even with his little belief in the gods, kaeya found himself praying to them everyday — begging them to give him his little brother back. whispering apologies to the wind that he hoped barbatos would carry to diluc.

[waiting-for-ciena-ree]

Why does it matter if Kreia is Arren Kae?

Solving the mystery of Kreia’s backstory was the most fun I had playing KOTOR 2. I think that her past as Arren Kae is brilliantly woven in the game’s subtext. I don’t view it as an inconsequential theory; to me, it is fundamental to understanding both Kreia’s character and the game itself. As I played through the game twice, I loved talking to my crewmates, because they each helped me understand the nature of Arren Kae and Revan’s relationship. However, in my experience in the KOTOR fandom, I’ve noticed how everyone interprets Kreia differently. And I was disheartened to see that a lot of people don’t like the idea of Kreia being Arren Kae. Other fans simply think it doesn’t matter if she is or not. So I decided to articulate myself why I love this theory so much!   It boils down to this: it matters that Kreia is Arren Kae because Revan tried to kill Arren Kae on Malachor V. That betrayal transformed Arren Kae into Darth Traya, and it informs Kreia’s present relationship with the Exile. Arren Kae was one of the Jedi Knights that Revan sent to fight on the ground when the Exile unleashed the Mass Shadow Generator, destroying almost all life on the planet. In spite of this betrayal, Kreia still cares for Revan. She constantly makes leaps in logic to justify Revan’s actions, calling their descent to the dark side a “sacrifice” instead of a “fall.” If we want to understand why Kreia betrays the Exile, we must first understand why she would justify Revan’s betrayal of Arren Kae. For Kreia, the lesson she internalized at Malachor V was the paradoxical idea that you must be willing to kill the people you love in order to save them. This is why Arren Kae “died” and Darth Traya was “born.” “I kill them because I love them” is a recurring motif in the game, expressed by Atton, Hanharr, Sion, and even Atris. It’s only natural that this theme resonates with the game’s most important character, Kreia; and with the game’s most important relationship (the mother-child relationship between Kreia and the player); and with the game’s most important setting, Malachor V. For all these reasons, Kreia’s secret past as Arren Kae is essential for my understanding of the game.

I see two primary reasons for why fans either dislike the theory, or else they enjoy it but don’t take it seriously:

Fans often consider “Kreia = Arren Kae” to be an unfinished idea that didn’t make it through the game’s development, since much of Kotor 2 is already woefully unfinished.

Fans may think that the most important fact about Arren Kae is that she is the Handmaiden’s mother. Since Brianna only joins your party if you play as a masculine Exile, and since Kreia’s relationship with the Exile is more important than her relationship with Brianna, you could argue from this perspective that it doesn’t matter if Kreia is Arren Kae. After all, Brianna and Kreia barely interact.

Neither of these reasons work for me. First of all, while the writing for Kreia’s past is subtle and mysterious, I believe her past is important enough that all of the necessary clues are there, even in an unfinished game. I also prefer the writing if it is implicit rather than explicit.

Secondly, I think it is deliberate that Kreia’s relationship with Brianna is less developed than her relationships with Revan and the Exile. According to the Disciple Mical, Arren Kae was Revan’s Jedi Master. Since Arren Kae was forced to give up her biological daughter Brianna, the only child she was allowed to love and raise within the Jedi Order was her Padawan Revan. Therefore, it only makes sense that Revan would have a bigger impact on Arren Kae’s life than either Brianna or Yusanis.

It also gives an extra layer to how painful it would be for Arren Kae to be betrayed by her “chosen” child, Revan, since Arren Kae had already sacrificed a potentially happy life with Brianna in order to remain a Jedi.

I also think that a lot of fans miss the plot point that Revan tried to kill Arren Kae, since it isn’t stated directly. Additionally, the idea that your beloved OC Revan would want to kill someone as nice-sounding as Brianna’s mother is distressing. I’ve seen how some fans dislike how KOTOR 2 adds further backstory for “their” Revan, since it is beyond the player’s choice. But personally I love that Obsidian did that, because I think it’s smart writing. After all, the entire point of the “Darth Revan reveal” in the first game is that you are supposed to be appalled at your player-character’s secret uncontrollable past. So, adding on that Revan tried to kill their own mother-figure? That works for me.

While other people have focused on showing the clues for how Kreia is Arren Kae, I’m just going to focus on why Kreia is Arren Kae. So let’s simply look at the three clues that tell us that Revan tried to kill Arren Kae:

By talking to Mical, you learn that Arren Kae was Revan’s Master.

By talking to Brianna, you learn that Arren Kae “died in the battle that shattered Malachor V, and her body was never recovered.“

And by talking to Revan’s droid, HK-47, you learn that Revan’s "true target” at Malachor V were the Jedi. Not the Mandalorians. The Jedi.

I believe that HK-47’s speech is one of the most important revelations in the game. He is the party member who was closest to Darth Revan during the Jedi Civil War. As an assassin droid, he gives a cold, calculating “observation” that “Revan was ‘cleaning house’ at Malachor V.” He notes that “if you examined the records of the deaths on Malachor, […] you cannot escape that many of the Jedi and Republic soldiers who died were not Revan’s strongest supporters.”

Significantly, the game distinguishes between Revan and the Exile’s motivations at Malachor V. No matter how bloodthirsty or dark-sided you make your Exile in the present, the Exile was still unaware of Revan’s master plan in the past; the Exile believed that the true target were the Mandalorians.

Beyond HK-47, other characters speak kindly of the Jedi who were targeted on Malachor V. If Mical is in your party when you fly there, he will say, “And all the Jedi who followed Revan, the true Jedi, died at Malachor V.” He is praising the Jedi who went to fight to defend vulnerable people in the Outer Rim against the Mandalorians, but did not follow Revan into the Jedi Civil War. To him, they are the only “true Jedi.”

While HK-47 gives a cold, calculating analysis of why Revan wanted to kill Jedi, there is another character who gives a more romantic analysis: Hanharr. The dark-sided “robot” and the dark-sided “monster” each have a different reading of Malachor V. Speaking for myself, I had trouble understanding Kreia until I met Hanharr as a Dark Side Exile. Hanharr, the “mad wookiee” who killed his tribe to save them from slavery, is the only crew-member that Kreia invites on board. When you ask her why, she tells you that “the beast is a lesson in strength.” I think that Kreia sees herself in Hanharr, more than anyone else. When Hanharr finally tells you his “true lesson of strength,” I think it gives insight into Kreia’s own beliefs:

Hanharr: Madness is not always that to one who can see it for what it is.

Hanharr: The lesson of strength is this - it is not having the strength to kill those you hate, but those that you love. Strength is when you crush their lives beneath your hands, murder them to save them from falling into the Shadowlands, as you have.

Hanharr: You know what happened when you killed the tribe of Mandalorians. And why the Jeedai had to die, so they did not become as the Mandalorians do. It was a coward’s way of killing, but the choice was strength. To kill your brothers and sisters, those of the tribe who stood with you in battle.

Hanharr: I am here because you showed me what chained me, and there is much I may learn from you. There is strength in such things - and you will know this, when you go into the place all exiles go. When you are willing to kill everything you love - and everything that walks and breathes hates you. When you are willing to leave paradise behind, to curse your life for all time. And know that you did to save another. And to show the galaxy what prey is. This is the lesson of strength, human.

Again, Hanharr is misidentifying the Exile’s motivation for using the Mass Shadow Generator on Malachor V, because the Exile did not mean to target the Jedi. But if we take HK-47 at his word, and if we accept that Revan was the true mastermind behind the destruction of Malachor V, Hanharr is instead justifying Revan’s choice to target the Jedi. And Hanharr’s analysis is quite remarkable. He is saying that Revan targeted the “true Jedi” because Revan loved the Jedi. Because Revan wanted to prevent the good “true Jedi” from becoming monsters themselves.

If we apply Hanharr’s analysis to Kreia’s situation, he is saying that Revan’s attempted murder of Arren Kae was an act of mercy, not simply “cleaning house” of “disloyal soldiers.” It was an attempt to “prevent a greater evil”–the evil in which Arren Kae is compelled by the Force to join the dark side. Which is exactly what happened to all survivors of Malachor V, except for the Jedi Exile, who exercised their free will by abandoning the Force in that moment.

Now the question becomes: is Hanharr right? Did Revan actually love Arren Kae? This time, my answer is: it doesn’t matter. It only matters that Kreia wants to believe this is the truth. If you ask Hanharr, “What prey does Kreia seek?” He will answer, “She hunts truth, I think - and she seeks it in you. And truth is dangerous prey - difficult to seek, and difficult to face. And with greater desperation, she hunts that which runs against that truth.” What runs against the truth? I think that a person’s longing to be loved often “runs against the truth.” Kreia’s love for Revan and the Exile “runs against the truth” that these two people worked together to destroy all life on Malachor V, including her own.

What better way to show the emotional impact of Revan’s betrayal of the “True Jedi” than by making the game’s most important character a survivor of that attack? And by characterizing her as someone “who has been betrayed in the heart, and who will betray in turn”?

Kreia was betrayed in the heart. Kreia did not love the Jedi Council, and her alliance with with the Sith was “fragile” and “based on hatred.” Even though the Jedi Council exiled her, and the Sith violently exiled her, they did not “betray her in the heart.” They did not kill Arren Kae and create Darth Traya.

The person who betrayed Kreia in the heart was the person she loved more than anyone else: Revan.

The person who betrayed Kreia was you.

“There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.”

“You”–the player character from the first game–you were the one who betrayed Kreia. Though as the ignorant player, you have “lost your memories” of this.

But Kreia did not forget, and your betrayal twisted her into something monstrous.

And now she will betray “you” in turn, as the player character of the second game.

She will do it because she loves you. She loves you because you are the player and because you have an extraordinary capacity to exercise free will in a predetermined story.

She has always loved you, ever since she was Arren Kae.

[somegirlsnerdywords2]

Manga/ Manhwa/ Webtoons i’ve Read

Completed titles starting with the letter S, T, or W!

I remember most manga even less than the oldest anime i’ve watched unless it was properly amazing so i’m not even going to bother attempting a review of any sort for these guys. In this posts i’ll simply be sharing with you any titles i’ve given a 9 or 10 rating to... as you can imagine some were read quite a few years ago so who’s to say i’d give all of them the same rating today! Let’s go!

Seven Days - 10/10 - 13 Chapters

Genres: Romance, School, Shounen ai, Slice of Life

Synopsis:  Third year high school student, Shino Yuzuru, is a boy with a beautiful face and an undesirable personality; he is laid back, impolite, and blunt. Soon after he goes out with someone, they dump him once his true personality starts to surface. His junior in the archery club, Seryou Touji, is a well-known ladies' man. A rumor about him circulates in school, stating that Seryou will agree to go out with the first person to ask him out on Monday, before promptly dumping that person on Sunday. Despite the school knowing this, Seryou remains popular with girls because, for the seven days he dates them, Seryou will make his partner feel absolutely special. Hearing the rumor, Shino becomes curious about Seryou. One Monday morning, he greets Seryou outside of the school's entrance and jokingly asks him out. However, Seryou takes him seriously, and so begins Shino's seven days with him.

Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku (Attack on Titan: No Regrets) - 9/10 - 8 Chapters

Genres: Action, Fantasy, Supernatural

Synopsis:  A spin-off shoujo manga that centers around Levi's and Erwin's past.The young Erwin Smith is a rising star in the Survey Corps, humanity's only hope of defeating the man-eating monsters known as Titans. Ruthless and dispassionate, Erwin's mind is devoted to strategies and intrigue. But beneath Erwin's feet is another world, the "Underground," where humans are born and die surrounded by the garbage the Capital throws away. Here, the criminal Levi survives on his wits and agility. But when these two ambitious men cross paths, who will prove himself stronger?(Source: MU)

Tokyo Ghoul - 9/10 - 144 Chapters

Genres: Action, Mystery, Drama, Horror, Supernatural, Psychological, Seinen

Synopsis:  Lurking within the shadows of Tokyo are frightening beings known as "ghouls," who satisfy their hunger by feeding on humans once night falls. An organization known as the Commission of Counter Ghoul (CCG) has been established in response to the constant attacks on citizens and as a means of purging these creatures. However, the problem lies in identifying ghouls as they disguise themselves as humans, living amongst the masses so that hunting prey will be easier. Ken Kaneki, an unsuspecting university freshman, finds himself caught in a world between humans and ghouls when his date turns out to be a ghoul after his flesh. Barely surviving this encounter after being taken to a hospital, he discovers that he has turned into a half-ghoul as a result of the surgery he received. Unable to satisfy his intense craving for human meat through conventional means, Kaneki is taken in by friendly ghouls who run a coffee shop in order to help him with his transition. As he begins what he thinks will be a peaceful new life, little does he know that he is about to find himself at the center of a war between his new comrades and the forces of the CCG, and that his new existence has caught the attention of ghouls all over Tokyo. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun (My Little Monster) - 9/10 - 55 Chapters

Genres: Comedy, Romance, School, Shoujo

Synopsis: Shizuku Mizutani is a so-called "study bug" who cares little about her classmates and instead strives to become a successful working person like her mother. However, her world changes when she is bribed into bringing notes to the class delinquent, Yoshida Haru, who had quit school after a violent fight got him suspended. Despite his abrasive introduction, Haru soon becomes convinced that they are friends, even going as far as confessing his love for her. As she spends more time with Haru, Shizuku learns that beneath his rough exterior he has a kind and honest spirit. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

Watashi ga Motete Dousunda (Kiss Him, Not Me!) - 9/10 - 60 Chapters

Genres: Comedy, Romance, School, Reverse Harem, Shoujo

Synopsis:  Rather than a prince and a princess living happily ever after together, it is much more appealing to see a prince and a prince fall in love. Believing in this wholeheartedly, Kae Serinuma is an overweight second-year high school girl who spends her days obsessing over fictional boys and fantasizing about men being in love with each other. In particular, she ships her male classmates Nozomu Nanashima and Yuusuke Igarashi—in her mind, every interaction they have hints at their romance. However, Kae's entire world is turned upside down when her favorite anime character dies. Heartbroken, she locks herself in her room and cuts off all contact from society. When she finally emerges a week later, she has slimmed down to have become a radiant beauty! Now, all the boys that Kae was content with watching from afar are suddenly pursuing her—the only problem is, Kae wants no part in it! She would much rather they kiss each other, not her. In the battle for her heart, Kae ensnares the boys in her wild fantasies and exposes them to the true nature of a fujoshi's world. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

[raiswanson]

The Loving Seal shorts #5: Snared (Nyvina PoV)

(Aaahhh we’re nearing the end of the shorts! Lots of love to anyone who liked/reblogged previous posts, you’re all treasures  and I love how much you all seem to love Kaelan and Nyvina ❤️❤️❤️ )

This is short five of six that I wrote in march in preparation of The Loving Seal! This short takes place a little while after the last short...and about seven years before the book itself begins...

(This short is just about 2k long)

I slid onto shore without so much as a splash, skin dropping to my shoulders as I took a deep breath of air and wiggled my toes in the sand. It was a beautiful night. Warm, and quiet. Unusual for the world above the sea, but I wasn’t about to question such a lovely event. It would only make things more wonderful when Kae arrived so we could enjoy the night together.

Sighing, I stepped further onto the beach until I stood clear of the water and dropped my skin to dry safe from the waves. It was warm enough that I could go comfortably without it, and it wouldn’t hurt to have a dry place to enjoy Kae without coating ourselves in sand. He never minded scrubbing away all the gritty particles, but he wasn’t the one that wound up half buried in it.

I shook my head. There would be none of that. Not tonight. Tonight was going to be special. I’d been thinking for a while about Kae’s dreams of a pod of our own. Mulling over it. I wasn’t sure we were ready to split off on our own, but the idea had burrowed nice and snugly in my head by now. I wanted to at least discuss it with him again. After we’d had our fun in the moonlight. I’d been avoiding the foods Gran said prevented pups, and was feeling a familiar stirring lately. If tonight wound up being the night that started something...well, that would be fine, right?

Those thoughts were why I’d come to our meeting place early. Despite how sure I felt that it was what I wanted—and what Kae wanted—I was still nervous. It was a big step, and I’d never even seen a whelping, but I wanted it. Kae would be there for me. And the rest of the pod. Even if nothing came from tonight, I wanted to talk it over with him again.

A long sigh escaped me and I kicked my feet through the sand. Fretting over things was silly really. If pups came, then they came, and we would work from there. The idea of it tickled my belly, and I wrapped my arms around myself at the thought of it filling with little ones. Kae’s little ones.

Tingling all over with thoughts of the sweet-hearted fool bubbling in my mind, I gave myself a shake and trotted to the water to splash my face and collect myself. It wouldn’t do to be a giddy wreck when he finally arrived. He’d waste time asking about it and checking on me until I told him my plans before I wanted to.

I squatted with waves lapping my ankles, taking another long breath of night air.

Yes. A good night. No need to be stressed or anxious. Soon it would just be me and Kae, breathing together over the soft sound of the sea and the wind, no one else in the world except for—

A twig snapped in the woods behind me.

I turned, frowning. A deer perhaps? The island was uninhabited save for scarce wildlife, and I’d never seen anything here the times Kae and I had snuck away to meet on the shore. But it was far too late for any animals to be awake and stirring.

My blood turned to ice when I scanned the treeline and saw a figure standing at the edge of the sand, watching me.

Human.

I jumped to my feet with a hiss, ready to leap to the water, only to freeze as I remembered I’d left my skin behind.

It was in the human’s hand. The burly male held it tight in his fist, looking pleased with himself as he saw my eyes widen.

“Beautiful naked maiden on the shore, sealskin sitting nearby...sounds like something out of my grandfather’s tall tales,” he said, voice brimming with pleasure as he grinned at me. “But you’re no tall tale, are you? You’re the real deal. A selkie. I suppose that makes this yours?”

I hissed as he raised my skin to shake it at me, taking a step backward toward the water to keep away from him.

My skin. He has my skin. The panicky voice in my head didn’t help me as I tried to think of a way to get out of this. But there was nothing I could do! I couldn’t flee and leave my skin behind! That would sentence me to a life of misery. I couldn’t fight him—his arms were as nearly as wide around as my waist!

“This isn’t the haul I was expecting when I set off for this fishing trip but I won’t be the one to complain about it. Easiest skin I’ve ever come across by far,” the human preened, unconcerned with my dilemma. Still grinning, he shook my skin again. “Come on, I’m sure you know what this means. You’re mine now. Stop lurking by the water and get over here. We both know you can’t swim away now,” he jeered, frowning when I bared my measly human teeth at him and took another step back.

“Hey now, where do you think you’re—”

I threw myself into the tide without thinking, crying out in selkie for someone to come. The waves welcomed me at first, then turned angry, as if enraged that I’d dared return incomplete. They crashed over my head as my feet lost their footing, slamming me and sending me spinning, and I thrashed to put my head upright with my meager gasp of air already pounded out of me.

Hands grabbed at my hair, and I screamed in pain and rage as I surfaced to see the human hauling me back to land, hefting me as though I weighed no more than a seashell. He caught my hands as I flailed and tried to claw free, then grunted and threw me to the ground once the water was out of reach.

“Insane creature. Do you want to drown?!” he shouted, kicking sand in my face as I struggled to rise.

Coughing up a lungful of water, I threw my arms over my head and shuddered as he stood over me, more terrified than if I’d swam out and come face to face with an orca. No. No no no no. I couldn’t let a human capture me. Humans were why so many shores were off limits now! They kidnapped us! Kept us like pets! Trembling, I looked up to see a gleam in his eyes that told me he was everything we’d been warned about.

My heart plummeted. No way out. Not unless someone came to help me, and I doubted they’d be a match for a creature like this.

I stiffened, realizing. Kae. Kae was coming. No. No, he’d only be hurt too.

“Figures I’d find the outcast. Probably too mad to swim with the others,” the human grumbled as I lay panting and panicked in the sand. “Don’t suppose there’s any other selkies about I could switch you out for?” he drawled.

Lip curling, I spat at him.

He gazed down with an expression of distaste, then crouched and caught my hands before I could lash out at him, using one hand to turn my face this way and that. “At least you’re a looker. I imagine the madness can be trained out of you.”

I spat at him again.

Then the world spun as slammed me back into the sand with the force of a tidal wave. Wiping spittle from his cheek, he growled and grabbed me by the hair again, lifting me and forcing me to rise and walk or be dragged behind him. “Feisty. That’s to be expected of a wild animal. Alright. See how far that gets you, seal girl. Try my patience and see if that gets you your skin back.”

The words froze me in fear as it occurred to me that he could simply hide my skin away forever and I heard a pleased noise escape him. “Ah, now you’re starting to understand. Don’t know how much you actually hear but you know plenty enough about your skin. Let’s not do anything that’ll make me lose my temper, or this lovely pelt, shall we?” he said, lifting my head so I was forced to look at him.

I glared through my waves of black hair, wishing I had my claws to dig furrows across his broad, scar-riddled face. But I had nothing. Only a weak, human body and pitiful nails that had already proved useless.

“I can see you’ll be trouble, so let me propose a deal to you, seal girl. Seven children. Give me seven strong seal children that can grow to be members of my crew, and perhaps your skin will find its way back to you. If you earn it. Will that stop you from plunging yourself back into the sea to drown? I’d rather not have the only selkie in the land die before I get any use out of her,” the human said, making me thrash in his grip.

I wanted to fling myself into the nearest pool of water to drown myself out of spite, but his grip held firm and my resolve waned in seconds. No. I couldn’t drown myself. I wanted to live. I wanted to have my skin back. I wanted to swim. I wanted to be away from this beast that smelled of blood and sweat. I wanted to be home.

I wanted Kae.

Gulping down a sob, I glowered up at the man and gave a tiny nod, snarling when he grinned and shoved me forward by the hair so I had to stumble to keep upright. Bare feet treading across sharp pebbles and sticks, I staggered ahead and whirled back around to glare at him.

“I will not bow to you. You have my skin but I do not belong to you,” I said in selkie, feeling proud even if I knew he couldn’t understand.

As expected he frowned in confusion, but I allowed myself to feel just a bit stronger for speaking out. Until he raised my skin in his fist and shrugged, unimpressed.

“Whatever that means, it won’t get you this back any faster. So onward, seal girl. My ship is up ahead and I’d very much like to get you on it before I have to beat back wolves or the like to have my prize,” he grunted, making me snort. There were no wolves on this island. Only small, harmless creatures and one disgusting monster.

“Nyvina. Not ‘seal girl’,” I said sharply, standing tall and not moving ahead as instructed.

He scowled, then jerked a thumb to his chest. “Darrow. Now move your pretty ass before I get impatient and decide to use this skin to patch my sails.”

Heart hammering, I let my eyes rest on his clenched fist and tried not to crumple in defeat as it continued to sink in how snared I was. I could mouth off all I wanted, but it would not get me what I needed. Neither would refusing to cooperate at every step.

I needed to be careful. If I had any hope of getting my skin back, of getting home—Kae—back, I would need to cooperate and learn how to make this human yield to my wants. If I wanted to keep him from shredding my skin out of spite, I’d have to—

Disgusted, I turned on my heel and stormed forward, not because he’d commanded it but to have the satisfaction of walking away from him. His boots thumped heavy behind, and I clenched my fists at my sides and held my sobs locked tight in my chest.

He’d have no tears from me. Children? Perhaps. Obedience? When it served me.

But not weakness.

Never weakness.  

[sambart93]

2018.11.28 BACK COAT〜裏裁判 UraSaiban / Backdoor Trial [Review]

Official Site here Official Twitter here Press Coverage 1, 2

Synopsis: After investigation, witnesses to a murder decide that the perpetrator is Innocent. Because of this, the witnesses are left once again to go back and recount their version of what happened and what of the victim. There are only 3 rules in this scenario: The real perpetrator is within their group; you must choose Guilty or Innocent; you must decide there and then even if it’s not the real perp. What happens next?

CAST and CHARACTERS 

Kuranuki Masahiro as Utsunomiya Saku Domoto Shouhei as Tominaga Tatsuya Terumi as Nakano Shouta Arima Ayaka as Hanamura Kasumi Kuramichi Sena as Utsunomiya Ruin Yashima Yakuma as Nikaido Kouki Haneshima Shouta as Ketsushiro Toshiya  Hatsuki Nozomi as Endo Kiriko Okabe Naoya as Ichijyo Hikari Nakajima Kazuhiro as Kisu Makoto Chatani Yuho as Terajima Kae Nakagawa Emi as Enjyouji Aya Saikatsu as Koinuma Shun

* Non-Spoiler Overall: This was great! It’s the style and theme of story and stage that I love. I absolutely love; people forced in a room that they can’t escape and they suspect each other and there’s no trust and there’s underlying secrets and motives and people turn on each other and people die - everything I love in my dark, messy stories! And they executed it so well! I enjoyed it so much! I loved the story, the mystery, the twist parts, the punch ending. It was all so good! And at the peak / climax of the play, the acting from all of them was phenomenal. It was so well done. The only thing that stopped me from being so invested and so emotionally into it was the fact that the guy next to me was snorting and sniffing up his snot every 10 seconds throughout the entire play and drove me absolutely mental. Rating: 7/10.  If that dick hadn’t been there to ruin my experience, this could’ve easily been a 8 - 9 rating I think.

*

Spoiler Review

Main Plot - 12 people (9 witnesses, 1 accused and 2 court staff) have been gathered to decide whether the accused, Enjyouji Aya, should be found guilty or innocent of killing Saku’s sister Ruin. However, when the final judgement is made, only 7 people find her guilty, while the actual brother and his childhood friend Tatsuya rule her innocent. Saku pleads for them all to go back to the beginning and to recount everything they witnessed. Because there is non consensus the court staff lock them inside the room and have to start all over again. No one can leave until everyone agrees on one judgement. And there are three guidelines to the lock down which are:

1. The perpetrator IS within their group. 2. You must choose (one) Guilty or Innocent. 3. You must decide there and then even if it’s not the real perp.

So in the story we go through every person’s account and experience that they had with Rui. At first everyone is very positive saying how much they enjoyed her company and how much of a joy she was to be around. But then they get to Aya and she breaks it down. She turns around to Saku in a half-evil-cackle and says ‘do you really think they’re telling the truth? Do you really think this is what they think of your sister? She was evil. She was horrid!’ and she cracks through the rest of the characters’ true personalities. It soon comes to light that she was physically and mentally abusive to everyone around her, and they say the only way she was acting such a way was because Saku himself was being to harsh on her. Apparently he was strict in that: she must go to school, she must eat properly, she mustn’t go and stay out late, she mustn’t have a boyfriend, and she felt that all her freedom had been taken away, and in turn that led her to take her anger out on the neighbours and everyone who cared for her. ‘And that’s why,’ Aya begins, ‘when she asked me to help her fake her suicide so she could shock and knock some sense into you (Saku), I just.... let her die.’ Saku begins to break down; he knows he was strict on her but that was because he didn’t want her to get hurt again, he wanted her to be safe so she didn’t end dying like their parents did. But obviously he was too strict and it made her go strange and mentally unwell. But towards the end of the stage, Ichijo Hikari speaks up ‘it was you that drove her to her death. She was being manipulated. I saw her... I saw her and Tatsuya talking,’ which brings Saku’s childhood friend underfire. Here, Tatsuya goes into manic laughter and completely cracks, he says he wanted to ruin what was left of Saku’s family because he was sick of seeing them (Saku & Rui) making fun of him (Tatsuya) and his situation (his family abandoned him and when he finally refound them, they acted like they didn’t know who he was). He said ‘I know you were laughing at me. Pitying me. There’s no way you were really being kind.’ When Tatsuya was left alone, Saku became his friend and he brought him home and let them have dinner together and everything. But Tatsuya, being hurt too much and too deeply, always thought Saku was just being malicious (which is completely wrong), so he wanted to get revenge: that was manipulating Rui and giving her the idea of ‘pretend to kill yourself. It’ll be the biggest surprise to Saku and it’ll make him stop being so strict on you’ so silly Rui goes through with it and that’s what led to her death. By this point, everyone is crying and emotionally ruined, and the staff of the court ask them to decide who should be held accountable for the death of Rui. Saku puts his hand up. Everyone protests that he’s innocent but he says ‘I found a letter from her. It came through the mail a year after her death. I did her wrong. I just want to go and see my sister.’ so he begs everyone to judge him ‘guilty’ so he can get the death penalty and join his sister. Of course, everyone doesn’t want to do this but it’s either this or they have to choose another among them to be found Guilty. And the stage ends with them judging him ‘guilty’, he gets on a wooden crate, puts the noose rope around his neck and lights out.

*

I am not giving the story justice. The intricacies and seeing them break down one by one, and seeing the scenes with Rui and the others. It was just phenomenal acting and the way things came to light and revealed were so well done and so great! I really wish I had been able to see this one or two more times. Because I was so invested and I found everyone’s acting to be top notch! There are some specific scenes and things I would like to talk about though:

☆ Domoto Shohei’s acting when he goes from ‘normal childhood friend’ to ‘batshit crazy’ to ‘realising what he’s done and just breaking down completely’ was so amazing to witness. He flowed so effortlessly between these stages and emotions! I was SO impressed! This was definitely his best acting I’ve seen of him so far! I cannot give enough praise to how well he did. I felt so sorry for him too! You should HATE HIM. You should HATE how he manipulated Saku’s sister, but then you learn that he just wasn’t loved and he was abandoned and his parents are more to blame for his messed-up-ness than him. And you pity him for assuming Saku’s actions were through malice rather than Saku genuinely wanted to look after him. And this huge misunderstanding led to him doing something so unforgivable. Yes you should hate him but the character’s story and Domoto’s acting just... you can’t hate him at all!

☆ I really enjoyed Arima Ayaka’s acting too. I love how Kasumi went from ‘oh yeah she was a darling and I loved spending time with her’ to (when everything gets revealed) ‘she was abusive! She found out that me and Toshiya were dating and she threatened to leak the information. She also hit my all the time! She fucking sucked!’ which was great acting. The scene where Rui is hitting Kasumi had some really good acting. The actors themselves would push each other and a lot of parts were physically real so I was impressed with the trust between the actors and such for those moments. 

☆ Sena did a great job as the sister. She had very few scenes because she was only really in the flashbacks but she did a great job! She could switch her feelings and emotions very well which was great! I love how her outfit is a white dress which could mean so many things: innocent, death, ghost, haunting etc. Good choice in clothing!

☆ I was super surprised to see Yashima Yakuma in this! I didn’t know he was in the cast! I am bias. I really like his face and his acting and this role of ‘serious’ and part of the court team was great!

☆ I really liked Hikari as a character. At first he just seems like a hungover, irresponsible guy, but then we learn that he’s got the key information to unlocking the mystery of ‘what happened to Rui’.  He’s a sweet guy the entire time. He tries to calm people down and tries to stay level-headed and he really is the only character out of them who’s guilty of NOTHING. Also I loved his hair, but that’s irrelevant to the story.

☆ Kudos to Emi who did this dramatic reveal right at the beginning. She’s the one that’s like ‘oh quit the act everyone! We all hated her! Admit it!!’ and her craziness lasts the entire performance. She really does not give a shit and she just lets all the secrets out! I really love how when she’s telling her stories of Rui, she did things like get on the table and prance around and such.

Like I said, I am not doing this story justice and I wish I’d seen it a few more times so I could get more information and find more scenes to love. And as mentioned above, I had the biggest sniffler and snorter next to me the entire time which that took me out of the story SO much. I literally had to watch the stage with one finger in my right ear so I could somewhat block out the idiot’s noises. But alas, I hope this short, short review will suffice.

*

And that’s all! I have a SHIT TON (I’m not joking) of reviews and reports I am behind on, dating back to like June I think which is BAD. I need to get this shit done asap seriously. I must! xD

[spyroid101]

Mask and Shield

In celebration of Sloane Kelly Appreciation Week, have a little Sloane X Kaetus hurt/comfort drabble~

((Nexus Uprising spoilers))

'You're going to die.'

Red...

Smoke...

Fire...

'You're going to die.'

Pain...

Fear...

Anguish...

'You're. Going. To. Die.'

Screaming.

Gunshots.

Blood.

'YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!!'

Sloane couldn't speak.

She couldn't think.

She could hardly even BREATHE, smoke filling her lungs.

They only had small ground teams, and the pirates were ruthless.

Bullets continued to spray, and the people’s panic only grew.

Those who could fight were fighting with every fiber of their being to protect the ones who couldn’t.

The weak.

The injured.

The young.

These slavers would either kill these people without mercy, or drag them off to an even worse fate.

And so, Sloane had to keep going.

No matter how many more kept coming.

Click.

Boom.

A batarian drops dead, only to soon be replaced by another.

And another.

‘Just one more...’ Sloane urged herself. ‘Just once more, and this will all be over. They’ll be safe...’

...And another...

...And another...

...And. Another.

Click. Boom.

With each pull of the trigger, the louder and louder the screaming around her became.

More frightened-

Click. Boom. More desperate-

Click.

Boom.

Pleading-

CLICK. BOOM. PLEADING FOR HER HELP!

The screaming was now DEAFENING in it’s volume, constantly ringing in her ears as more and more voices were added to the chorus.

‘They lied to us!’ A battered and bruised truian woman cried.

‘How could they do this to us?!’ A human man wept over the bloody remains of his husband.

‘Don’t let them do this!’ An asari pleaded, holding onto the limp, torn body of a salarian.

Suddenly, a deep, bloody roar cut through all their pleas.

And just like that, Sloane was no longer facing down Batarians.

But huge, bloodthirsty krogan.

...She wasn’t on Elysium anymore...

She was on the Nexus.

Sloane’s entire vision was filled with red as the krogan clawed through the resistance as if they were made of nothing but wet paper.

Teeth tore off limbs.

Claws spilled open entrails.

They were helpless.

‘SLOANE!!’

She had to do SOMETHING!

Ignoring her pain and exhaustion, she charged at the krogan, a knife drawn as she plunged it into the brute’s eye.

In retaliation, it swung it’s claws at her face in full force, sending her FLYING into the wall, and crashing to the ground.

The krogan’s blow had split her face open from her nose to her chin, and any attempts to breathe were just rewarded with a throat full of blood.

From the corner of her blurred vision, she saw a turian stand next to her. He was... trying to say something, but Sloane couldn’t hear him...

"...Calix...?" She whispered through the little air she could take.

The turian spoke again.

Though Sloane still couldn’t quite catch what he was saying, she did notice one thing...

That wasn’t Calix’s voice...

It was-

In that moment, Sloane saw the light of a sniper’s laser bead on the turian’s head.

Her stomach churned.

No.

Not again.

Not HIM!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no-

Click.

No...

BOOM.

“NO!!!”

"Sloane?!” Kaetus gasped.

He was just on his way to get armed up and start his rounds, when he’d decided to go ahead and drop off his report on their efforts to push back the Collective to Sloane.

What he found, was Sloane crumpled up on the floor next to her bed, tangled in her blanket, whimpering and thrashing.

Kaetus’ first instinct was to run over and see if she was hurt.

What if one of those Collective bastards managed to break into her room and land a sneak attack on her, or maybe poisoned her, or maybe-?!

“...Calix...?” He heard her whisper.

It was then when Kaetus caught sight of her eyes.

Though they were pointed in his direction, he could see that Sloane wasn’t looking at him, but rather staring a thousand miles through him.

Kaetus’ panic melted away into sympathy.

Now he knew what was going on...

“Shit... Sloane? Sloane, hey, can you hear me...?” Kaetus asked, trying to keep his voice as soft as possible as he knelt down next to her.

Sloane didn’t respond to him. She just continued to mutter incoherently, until suddenly, she let out a loud SCREAM.

“Sloane?! Hey, look at me.” Kaetus tried again.

He had to resist all temptations to grab her by the shoulders, it’d most likely only make the situation worse.

“C... Can’t... Ca... Bre... ” She gasped, starting to hyperventilate. “Off!”

“’Off’?” He repeated. “Sloane, talk to me. What do you need me to do?”

“IT! Breathe-! Can’t-! FUCK!” Sloane shouted. “OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!!”

Her volume was rising with each and every word she managed to push out. If it weren’t for the fact that her room was built to be nearly sound-proof, Kaetus  would have no doubt that over half of Kadara would have heard her screaming and yelling. Trying to keep himself from making too many sudden movements, he carefully grabbed the edge of the blanket covering her, and pulled it off, depositing it in a pile off to the side.

“It’s off, Sloane.” Kaetus said gently. “Just... Just breathe. You can breathe...”

Sloane gave a few more weak thrashes, before just letting herself go limp on the cold, metal floor, clenching her eyes shut, as her only movements now were her heaving breaths.

“Good, good. Maybe little slower?” He suggested. “...Please?”

She didn’t verbally respond, but after a few seconds, she managed to shift from hyperventilating, to a series of slow, deep breaths.

“Theeeere we go.” Kaetus sighed. “It’s okay. Just keep breathing...”

“Kae... Kaetus...?” Sloane murmured, finally cracking open her eyes. Her voice was hoarse from all her previous screaming and yelling.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Kaetus’ mandibles twitched in a grin. “Just me. Just us.”

After a second of silence, Sloane slowly shifted, getting into a sitting position.

“Hey, take it easy-” “Kaetus...” She repeated, reaching out her hands.

A command, not a question.

A command Kaetus was sadly familiar with.

Slowly, he lowered his head, allowing Sloane to grab a hold of it.

Tightly.

Her hands roamed the sides and back of his head.

Searching for gunshot wounds.

Even upon finding none, Sloane still pulled his head to her chest, holding it as tight as she could.

As if his head would split apart if she let go.

This position wasn’t comfortable for Kaetus by any stretch of the imagination. Her nails were pin-pricking the scales on his neck, and his back and knees were already starting to ache...

But he didn’t rush her.

He knew she needed this.

“I’m right here, Sloane...” He said softly.

“Yeah...” She murmured, loosening her grip.

“Do you know where we are?”

“Kadara...” She hissed. The word leaving her mouth as if she were spitting out acid. “Fuck.”

She finally let go of his head, letting her arms drop back down to her sides as she leaned her head back against the bed.

“Sloane, it’s-”

“Help me up...”

That was probably supposed to come off as an unquestionable demand, but the tone of her voice just sounded... tired...

Kaetus felt an ache in his chest.

He wanted oh, so badly to just tell her that everything was okay, that there was no shame in having these flashbacks...

But he knew she wouldn’t believe him. As far as she was concerned, it was a weakness.

A weakness the leader of Kadara could not afford to let her followers catch wind of.

All of this wasn’t helped when the Nexus apparently sent this supposed “Pathfinder” kid to come and “Play nice” with them.

And, by “Play nice”, they clearly meant “having the kid rip Kaetus’ fucking gun right out of his own damn hands and threaten him with it right in front of Sloane.”

Fuck Tann.

Fuck the Initiative.

Fuck the Nexus.

Even in the far reaches of exile, Sloane couldn’t escape them trying to tear everything she’d worked for apart.

She deserved so much better than this...

When Sloane outstretched her hand, Kaetus gently took it in his own. Slow, steady, no sudden movements. Only when he felt her squeeze his hand, did he start to ease themselves up.

His leg joints were crying out in joy over FINALLY being out of that uncomfortable squatting position, but Kaetus’ mind was squarely on Sloane.

Her legs were shaking, looking like they’d give out any minute...

Oh, so BADLY did Kaetus want to hold her. Give her his shoulder, support her.

But he couldn’t.

Not without her permission first.

“May I...?” He asks softly, his gaze locked onto hers.

He needn’t vocalize the context to his question, he and Sloane had been dancing this dance for awhile now. Years before they left the Milky Way, even.

A way to keep the question discreet, hidden away from those who didn’t need to be sticking their noses into their business.

She knew what he was asking.

Sloane remained silent for a good, long moment, just keeping her eyes locked with his.

Her face wouldn’t betray what she was feeling, but her eyes did. At least, they did for someone who had the privilege of knowing her as well as Kaetus did.

Had she been any other human, she would have been weeping now. Dragged down by all the horrors and betrayal she’d witnessed, all the pressure constantly on her shoulders, the mask of cold, ruthless strength she always had to wear, least Kadara ever catch wind of her “weakness”, and fall apart into complete, self-destructive anarchy.

But Sloane didn’t cry.

Because she was Sloane Fucking Kelly. She never cried, not even before Andromeda.

...But whether she would admit it or not, whether the people of Kadara would admit it or not, she was still human. She still had feelings and emotions.

And sometimes... it all just needed to break.

And so, when she she did need to break, Kaetus would happily be her shield to hide behind.

“Yeah...” She whispered in such a tiny voice compared to how she usually spoke.

Gently, Kaetus pulled Sloane to his chest, lightly wrapping his arms around her, making sure she knew she had the option to change her mind, to pull away if she wanted.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she pressed against him more, burying her face against his neck, right where she could strongly feel his pulse.

Once he was sure she was comfortable, Kaetus tightened his hug, letting himself take on her weight as her knees finally gave out.

“I’m here...” He said softly, resting his chin atop her head, allowing himself to let out a steady purr.

...Sloane had to be the only other person besides his parents who’d ever heard him purr.

She was the only one worth the effort.

“I’m here...” He repeated. “I’m right here...”

Now her arms were around him, gripping so tightly, it’d probably take a whole squad of krogan to force her to let go.

“...Don’t go...”

the voice was so small, so faint...

Honestly, Kaetus might have just been imagining it...

...But all the same, he answered.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Kaetus wasn’t sure exactly how long he’d been asleep when he found himself stirring awake.

Long enough that he’d actually gotten comfortable, that was for sure.

How many things was he suppose to have been doing in that unknown time frame?

Fuck it. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care.

Let everyone else stand on their own feet for a few hours, Sloane had needed him.

...Speaking of...

He slowly cracked his eyes open, and saw that Sloane was still asleep, snugly nestled in his arms.

Safe.

Secure.

Protected.

Just looking at her, this was the most calm Kaetus had seen Sloane in... Weeks? Months?

Her body was completely relaxed, her breathing was steady, she didn’t have that typical scowl hard set on her face...

In fact...

He might have been mistaken, but was that a hint of a SMILE on her face...? Ohh, now THAT wasn’t something he saw every day.

Quite frankly, he was ALMOST tempted to snap a picture....

But nahhh, he knew Sloane would probably throw his ass into one of the sulfur lakes if he did.

He’d just have to be happy knowing that whatever dream she was having, it was probably a good one.

...He really hoped so.

She certainly deserved one after all this time...

He missed seeing her at such ease like this, missed seeing her smile...

Missed not having to watch herself constantly bottle up all her pain to keep her “weakness” hidden from others...

Missed...

...Moments like this...

Gently, Kaetus shifted, holding Sloane tighter to him as he softly nuzzled her forehead.

...It was kinda funny, really...

He was suppose to be here with her to make her feel better, but just... watching the gentle rhythm of her breathing... It made him feel at ease too. As if months worth of stress just magically melted away.

...If only this didn’t have to be a temporary reprieve...

Kaetus didn’t care how impossible the task seemed, he just wanted her to be able to be happy for more then just a few fleeting moments.

Someday, some how...

He’d find a way.

He’d do it.

For her.

...For them...

Just keep the wheel turning, and eventually, it’d all work out.

That’s how it’d worked so far. By all accounts, both him AND Sloane should have been long dead by now, but here they were...

Kaetus sighed, resting his chin on top of her head as his eyes slowly drifted shut again.

Whatever it was he was originally planning to do at this time... They’d just have to make due without him. He wasn’t about to risk waking Sloane up by trying to get out of the bed. A few more hours of him not helicoptering over the recruits surely wouldn’t kill anybody...

Besides... He’d made a promise...

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The first thing Sloane noticed when she began to stir, was a comfortable warmth surrounding her...

The next thing, was an annoying beeping sound.

And then the final thing, was the fact she seemed to be immobilized somehow...

At that LAST point, a knee-jerk reaction of panic started to rise, only for it to immediately vanish as a taloned hand gently stroked the back of her head.

‘Ah. Right. Kaetus being a cuddly bastard.’ She thought with a sigh.

She found herself unconsciously snuggling up against him more, burying her face in his cowl, causing him to let out a gentle, comforting thrum.

It all just felt so warm.

So safe.

So... familiar...

If... if Sloane just kept her eyes shut... there’d be nothing to tell her that the whole nightmare with the Nexus ever actually happened.

Nothing to say that it wasn’t just some horrible hangover nightmare, nothing to say she wasn’t still in the Milky Way, crashing with Kaetus in the back room after getting completely hammered at the party, hours away before launch, and she’d have time to plan to ‘accidentally’ jettison Tann’s cryo pod from the airlock mid-trip.

Hell, while she’s at it, maybe she could figure out a way to ‘accidentally’ misplace Addison and switch her out with Kaetus before they left.

Maybe, just maybe, she could fix everything before it all went to shit...

Beepbeepbeepbeep-

...Unfortunately, she was swiftly reminded that reality was a bitch, as that ungodly annoying beeping sound blared again.

“Ugh, stupid piece of crap... Shh. Shut up, you son of a-” She heard Kaetus swear under his breath, fumbling for his omnitool, which was on the arm Sloane was currently laying on top of.

Sloane slowly opened her eyes to see the familiar, dark and grim sights of her room on Kadara.

Well, that’s what she got for being foolish enough to hope otherwise, she supposed...

“That’d probably be easier if I got up off your arm...” Sloane mumbled.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, I...” Kaetus paused. “N-no, it’s fine. Just stay right there, I can get it off, just...”

Internally, Sloane wanted to take him up on his offer.

She really, REALLY, wanted to take him up on his offer.

To just... close her eyes and curl back up into that familiar, comforting warmness, far away from the grimness of Kadara, and its bullshit PTSD triggers...

...But she couldn’t.

Close her eyes all she wanted, it wouldn’t make everything go away. She knew that.

She had her little break, now it was time to put the mask back on.

There was work to be done.

“I’m getting up, go check what it is.” She said firmly.

Kaetus simply nodded. Internally, he may have wanted to argue, but he knew better.

The mask was back on, it was time for him to step back as her shield.

Sloane slowly sat up, freeing Kaetus’ arm.

He took a deep breath, before sitting up himself, and pulling up his omnitool.

‘Back to work it is, then.’

He glanced through the messages, 10 of them within the past two hours.

What could have possibly-?

....

‘...Crap.’

“What is it?” Sloane asked, clearly reading the concern in his mandible twitches.

“Oh, it’s... Probably nothing...” Kaetus attempted to sound optimistic. “Has to be a mistake...”

Sloane continued to just stare at him.

Clearly, she didn’t buy it.

“They... Think they’ve had Kett attacks...” He explained, hesitantly.

“Fuck.” Sloane hissed.

She really HAD been falling behind...

“Again, it’s probably just a mistake...” Kaetus attempted to reason. “But I’ll... find a way to take a look into it, just to be sure.”

“Good.” Sloane said, finally standing up.

No more falling behind.

No more letting the Nexus break her down like this.

No more.

“And Kaetus?” She added, motioning him to come closer.

“Yeah?” He asked, standing next to her.

Sloane then grabbed his chin, pulling his head down to touch his forehead to hers.

Her silent promise. The only one she dared make in this uncertain Hellhole.

‘I won’t let you end up like Calix.’

If the bastards wanted to try, they’d have to do it over her dead body.

“Be sure to send me a full report of what you find.” She said, finally pulling back. “And I expect to see you here tonight for a full debriefing.”

Kaetus’ mandible twitched in a smirk.

“Of course, ma’am.”

[nancygduarteus]

Do Married Millennials Cheat on Each Other?

Millennials have killed malls, cheese, and bar soap. Their thirst for blood unslaked, they’re now coming for good, old-fashioned cheating.

At least, that’s according to an analysis the sociologist Nicholas Wolfinger published in 2017 on the Institute for Family Studies website. When asked the survey question “Have you ever had sex with someone other than your husband or wife while you were married?” Americans older than 55 turned out to be more adulterous than people younger than 55. In fact, people born between 1940 and 1959—i.e., people currently between 79 and 60 years old—were the ones who report the highest rates of extramarital sex.

Americans have been asked the infidelity question in every iteration of the General Social Survey, a broad questionnaire about cultural attitudes, since 1991. Wolfinger’s analysis found that in the early 2000s, 18-to-55 year olds were more likely have extramarital affairs than older people were. But right around 2004, the lines cross, and younger people became more chaste than their parents:

Wolfinger takes this data to mean that Ashley Madison’s days might be numbered. Today, the hot new thing for married couples, apparently, is having sex (albeit rarely) with each other until they die. “Barring any unforeseen developments,” Wolfinger writes, “we should anticipate a future of more monogamous marriage.”

Whether or not Millennials are doing marriage differently, they’re certainly changing other parts of courtship. Unmarried couples are more likely to cohabitate than they were a decade ago, and the once-fringe online dating scene has become as mainstream as dinner and a movie. Some people engage in polyamory, while others have open relationships, and more people are talking about those arrangements openly. Both marriage and divorce have become more rare since the 1980s. Between it all are an array of “fuckboys,” ghosts, and friends with benefits.

All these factors together complicate Wolfinger’s claim that marriages of the future will be monogamous. Other researchers I spoke with say it’s not possible to know yet whether Millennials are actually going to have more faithful marriages than Boomers. Several pointed out to me that it the Institute for Family Studies is a blog attached to a think tank dedicated to marriage and family, not a peer-reviewed academic journal.

Wendy Manning, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University, told me there’s no evidence that young adults who are between the ages of 24 and 32 today are more likely to be faithful than the same age group was in 1980. The difference Wolfinger is picking up on, she says, seems to be just that people over 50 are simply older and possibly have been married longer, so they’ve had more opportunities to cheat. We’d have to wait until Millennials get older before determining whether they are, truly, the faithful generation.

There is some limited data to bolster Wolfinger’s point, however. In 2017, Lindsay Labrecque and Mark A. Whisman at the University of Colorado Boulder found that even though the percentage of Americans who think extramarital sex is “always wrong” significantly declined between 2000 to 2016, there was a small but statistically significant decline in the lifetime prevalence of extramarital sex in the same time period. That could mean that the people who were eligible to participate in the survey in 2016 but not 2000, including Millennials, are more open to cheating philosophically, but still less likely to do it.

It’s hard to draw firm conclusions about generations, but Wolfinger’s analysis might be pointing to changing behavior among the subset of Millennials who do choose to get married. To get a sense of how married Millennials think about commitment, I reached out to married Millennials and Gen Xers through Twitter to ask those who are convinced they would never cheat on their spouse: why? Dozens replied via email and direct message. Twitter, obviously, is not a representative sample of the U.S.; its users tend to be more liberal and educated. However, even among this relatively left-leaning group, many people said they knew of very few cheaters in their social circle, and those who did cheat were looked down upon by their friends.

Junie Gray, a woman from Austin, Texas, told me she doubts she could find someone who “understands, supports, and loves” her like her husband does. Since people today wait longer than previous generations to get married, many simply might be selecting the actual right person for them. There’s no need to cheat when your spouse is your best friend, your soulmate, your “everything.” There’s no “one that got away”; you caught him. It just took you until you were 36 to do so.

As the Johns Hopkins University sociologist Andrew Cherlin put it to me, “over the past few decades, marriage has become more selective.” Today, the people most likely to have lasting marriages are those who have gone to college. And college graduates seem “more committed to each other and to the marriage,” Cherlin says. He points out that the divorce rate has gone down significantly for college-educated couples, but not for couples in which neither person has a college education.

I heard from a lot of people who prudently dated their partners for several years before getting married, then waited still more years before having children, just in case. There’s less societal browbeating these days to move faster. “There isn’t pressure to be in relationships like there used to be, so people are less likely to settle for a bad partner,” says Skylar Dallmeyer-Drennen, an energy consultant in Washington D.C. “Why put up with a cheater if no one needs you to be dating?”

This phenomenon is intertwined with what my colleague Kate Julian described as “the sex recession.” Young people today have less sex in general, so it follows that they are likely having less of it extramaritally, too. “We’re living in an astonishingly sexlessless age,” Wolfinger told me.

Of course, we are also living in the midst of a sexual-harassment crisis. But a number of #metoo offenses seem to be perpetrated by older men, some of whom blame changing mores for their alleged transgressions. Though there are also stories of young men who don’t know where to draw the line between friendship and romance, experts say that in general, younger people tend to be more supportive of gender equality. Cheating, meanwhile, can feel deeply inequitable. Infidelity sometimes gets lumped in with other types of harm against women: Several of the entries on the “shitty media men” list that was circulated a few years ago involved allegations of affairs.

Or maybe it’s something about being Millennial, rather than a married Millennial, that deters two-timing. A few people who responded to my Twitter inquiry suggested that maybe Millennials in general are still young and idealistic. My generation wants jobs with a purpose, and we want relationships that feel purposeful, too. Or, as a Gen X friend of mine speculated, perhaps Millennials are terrified of breaking rules. We’re so preoccupied with getting recommendation letters and maintaining our brands that we would never sully ourselves with something so carnal and impulsive as infidelity. (My friend asked to remain nameless because he didn’t want to seem like he was justifying adultery.)

In line with this moral-Millennial hypothesis, many young, married people told me it feels less honorable to leave your spouse for someone else. That would imply there was “emotional cheating” going on while the relationship was in progress—another taboo. “You need to spend some time mourning the end of what had become a formative part of your identity,” says Kae Lani Palmisano, a writer and editor in Philadelphia.

There’s also the usual explanation behind the “Millennials are killing …” trend stories: It’s that Millennials are broke, and they simply can’t afford to buy whatever it is that’s being killed. In this case, some Millennials are still traumatized by the recession and struggling to launch their careers. They can’t afford to buy a house without a second, steady partner. When so much of your life is in flux and unstable, it’s nice to have one person who will definitely be there for you. Why screw it up?

Beyond lingering economic worries, many Millennials and Gen Xers are scarred by their parents’ divorces. The peak in the divorce rate was in 1979, right as the oldest Millennials were being born and younger Gen Xers were reaching their tender grade-school years. Millennials were much more likely to be the children of divorce than their children will be, if current trends continue. “The specter of divorce looms large,” says Manning from Bowling Green State University. “And it seems like it’s a big reason why a lot of young adults want to live with someone first. They want to divorce-proof their marriage.”

For some young people, fidelity is a way of vowing to do better than your own parents did. A few people told me they had been so rattled by their parents’ divorce that they resolved never to do the same thing to their kids. “My parents divorced when I was 2,” says Cole Novak, a pastor in Texas. “My entire life has been marked by the effects of my parents’ divorce. And I never wanted my kids to grow up the way that I did.” When women send him flirtatious texts, Novak says he responds by adding his wife to the thread.

Even as Millennials murder America’s cultural standbys, they continue to be somewhat inscrutable. For now, it does seem like their marriages, when they do happen, are more faithful than those of their elders, but it’s just too soon to know for sure whether that will continue. In fact, Wolfinger accepts some of the alternate explanations for what’s going on here. “Do people in their fifties and sixties have the most extramarital sex because they’re in midlife and have been married for 20-30 years, or because they came of age at a time that fostered greater sexual exploration?” he writes. “The answer is probably ‘both.’”

In other words, yes, it might simply be the case that people over 55 are getting older, growing disinterested, and applying the looser sexual mores they grew up in to sex lives that have grown a little stale. “Being married for a long time means a couple of things: Your kids might be out of the house, you might be bored having sex with your partner,” Wolfinger told me.

Or as a Boomer might say, it might just be that Millennials will understand when we’re older.

from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/05/millennials-are-less-likely-cheat-boomers/588286/?utm_source=feed

[ionecoffman]

Do Married Millennials Cheat on Each Other?

Millennials have killed malls, cheese, and bar soap. Their thirst for blood unslaked, they’re now coming for good, old-fashioned cheating.

At least, that’s according to an analysis the sociologist Nicholas Wolfinger published in 2017 on the Institute for Family Studies website. When asked the survey question “Have you ever had sex with someone other than your husband or wife while you were married?” Americans older than 55 turned out to be more adulterous than people younger than 55. In fact, people born between 1940 and 1959—i.e., people currently between 79 and 60 years old—were the ones who report the highest rates of extramarital sex.

Americans have been asked the infidelity question in every iteration of the General Social Survey, a broad questionnaire about cultural attitudes, since 1991. Wolfinger’s analysis found that in the early 2000s, 18-to-55 year olds were more likely have extramarital affairs than older people were. But right around 2004, the lines cross, and younger people became more chaste than their parents:

Wolfinger takes this data to mean that Ashley Madison’s days might be numbered. Today, the hot new thing for married couples, apparently, is having sex (albeit rarely) with each other until they die. “Barring any unforeseen developments,” Wolfinger writes, “we should anticipate a future of more monogamous marriage.”

Whether or not Millennials are doing marriage differently, they’re certainly changing other parts of courtship. Unmarried couples are more likely to cohabitate than they were a decade ago, and the once-fringe online dating scene has become as mainstream as dinner and a movie. Some people engage in polyamory, while others have open relationships, and more people are talking about those arrangements openly. Both marriage and divorce have become more rare since the 1980s. Between it all are an array of “fuckboys,” ghosts, and friends with benefits.

All these factors together complicate Wolfinger’s claim that marriages of the future will be monogamous. Other researchers I spoke with say it’s not possible to know yet whether Millennials are actually going to have more faithful marriages than Boomers. Several pointed out to me that it the Institute for Family Studies is a blog attached to a think tank dedicated to marriage and family, not a peer-reviewed academic journal.

Wendy Manning, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University, told me there’s no evidence that young adults who are between the ages of 24 and 32 today are more likely to be faithful than the same age group was in 1980. The difference Wolfinger is picking up on, she says, seems to be just that people over 50 are simply older and possibly have been married longer, so they’ve had more opportunities to cheat. We’d have to wait until Millennials get older before determining whether they are, truly, the faithful generation.

There is some limited data to bolster Wolfinger’s point, however. In 2017, Lindsay Labrecque and Mark A. Whisman at the University of Colorado Boulder found that even though the percentage of Americans who think extramarital sex is “always wrong” significantly declined between 2000 to 2016, there was a small but statistically significant decline in the lifetime prevalence of extramarital sex in the same time period. That could mean that the people who were eligible to participate in the survey in 2016 but not 2000, including Millennials, are more open to cheating philosophically, but still less likely to do it.

It’s hard to draw firm conclusions about generations, but Wolfinger’s analysis might be pointing to changing behavior among the subset of Millennials who do choose to get married. To get a sense of how married Millennials think about commitment, I reached out to married Millennials and Gen Xers through Twitter to ask those who are convinced they would never cheat on their spouse: why? Dozens replied via email and direct message. Twitter, obviously, is not a representative sample of the U.S.; its users tend to be more liberal and educated. However, even among this relatively left-leaning group, many people said they knew of very few cheaters in their social circle, and those who did cheat were looked down upon by their friends.

Junie Gray, a woman from Austin, Texas, told me she doubts she could find someone who “understands, supports, and loves” her like her husband does. Since people today wait longer than previous generations to get married, many simply might be selecting the actual right person for them. There’s no need to cheat when your spouse is your best friend, your soulmate, your “everything.” There’s no “one that got away”; you caught him. It just took you until you were 36 to do so.

As the Johns Hopkins University sociologist Andrew Cherlin put it to me, “over the past few decades, marriage has become more selective.” Today, the people most likely to have lasting marriages are those who have gone to college. And college graduates seem “more committed to each other and to the marriage,” Cherlin says. He points out that the divorce rate has gone down significantly for college-educated couples, but not for couples in which neither person has a college education.

I heard from a lot of people who prudently dated their partners for several years before getting married, then waited still more years before having children, just in case. There’s less societal browbeating these days to move faster. “There isn’t pressure to be in relationships like there used to be, so people are less likely to settle for a bad partner,” says Skylar Dallmeyer-Drennen, an energy consultant in Washington D.C. “Why put up with a cheater if no one needs you to be dating?”

This phenomenon is intertwined with what my colleague Kate Julian described as “the sex recession.” Young people today have less sex in general, so it follows that they are likely having less of it extramaritally, too. “We’re living in an astonishingly sexlessless age,” Wolfinger told me.

Of course, we are also living in the midst of a sexual-harassment crisis. But a number of #metoo offenses seem to be perpetrated by older men, some of whom blame changing mores for their alleged transgressions. Though there are also stories of young men who don’t know where to draw the line between friendship and romance, experts say that in general, younger people tend to be more supportive of gender equality. Cheating, meanwhile, can feel deeply inequitable. Infidelity sometimes gets lumped in with other types of harm against women: Several of the entries on the “shitty media men” list that was circulated a few years ago involved allegations of affairs.

Or maybe it’s something about being Millennial, rather than a married Millennial, that deters two-timing. A few people who responded to my Twitter inquiry suggested that maybe Millennials in general are still young and idealistic. My generation wants jobs with a purpose, and we want relationships that feel purposeful, too. Or, as a Gen X friend of mine speculated, perhaps Millennials are terrified of breaking rules. We’re so preoccupied with getting recommendation letters and maintaining our brands that we would never sully ourselves with something so carnal and impulsive as infidelity. (My friend asked to remain nameless because he didn’t want to seem like he was justifying adultery.)

In line with this moral-Millennial hypothesis, many young, married people told me it feels less honorable to leave your spouse for someone else. That would imply there was “emotional cheating” going on while the relationship was in progress—another taboo. “You need to spend some time mourning the end of what had become a formative part of your identity,” says Kae Lani Palmisano, a writer and editor in Philadelphia.

There’s also the usual explanation behind the “Millennials are killing …” trend stories: It’s that Millennials are broke, and they simply can’t afford to buy whatever it is that’s being killed. In this case, some Millennials are still traumatized by the recession and struggling to launch their careers. They can’t afford to buy a house without a second, steady partner. When so much of your life is in flux and unstable, it’s nice to have one person who will definitely be there for you. Why screw it up?

Beyond lingering economic worries, many Millennials and Gen Xers are scarred by their parents’ divorces. The peak in the divorce rate was in 1979, right as the oldest Millennials were being born and younger Gen Xers were reaching their tender grade-school years. Millennials were much more likely to be the children of divorce than their children will be, if current trends continue. “The specter of divorce looms large,” says Manning from Bowling Green State University. “And it seems like it’s a big reason why a lot of young adults want to live with someone first. They want to divorce-proof their marriage.”

For some young people, fidelity is a way of vowing to do better than your own parents did. A few people told me they had been so rattled by their parents’ divorce that they resolved never to do the same thing to their kids. “My parents divorced when I was 2,” says Cole Novak, a pastor in Texas. “My entire life has been marked by the effects of my parents’ divorce. And I never wanted my kids to grow up the way that I did.” When women send him flirtatious texts, Novak says he responds by adding his wife to the thread.

Even as Millennials murder America’s cultural standbys, they continue to be somewhat inscrutable. For now, it does seem like their marriages, when they do happen, are more faithful than those of their elders, but it’s just too soon to know for sure whether that will continue. In fact, Wolfinger accepts some of the alternate explanations for what’s going on here. “Do people in their fifties and sixties have the most extramarital sex because they’re in midlife and have been married for 20-30 years, or because they came of age at a time that fostered greater sexual exploration?” he writes. “The answer is probably ‘both.’”

In other words, yes, it might simply be the case that people over 55 are getting older, growing disinterested, and applying the looser sexual mores they grew up in to sex lives that have grown a little stale. “Being married for a long time means a couple of things: Your kids might be out of the house, you might be bored having sex with your partner,” Wolfinger told me.

Or as a Boomer might say, it might just be that Millennials will understand when we’re older.

Article source here:The Atlantic

[hentaihunblog-blog]

Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii Episode 7

New Post has been published on https://hentaihun.com/blog/2018/05/25/wotaku-ni-koi-wa-muzukashii-episode-7/

Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii Episode 7

The Chibi style for the gameplay is so FREAKING ADORABLE. And I just love how the show had to let the audience know that no, you’re watching the right anime. I’m not sure if it was in the previous episode, but this was the first time I noticed that Nao was edited into the opening (albeit briefly) and it was a nice little surprise. I was wondering if he would be incorporated into the opening and I got my answer.

The fact that Narumi turned out to be an assassin class yet looking like an adorable elf pretty much sums up her personality very well. Considering she often portrays herself as this cute woman but in reality she’s this closet otaku who spends her time drawing up Yaoi porn lol. As opposed to Kabakura who is very straight forward just like the warrior class. An interesting tidbit that Kabakura brings up is how Hanako just suddenly wanted to play an online game with everyone despite her usual indifference towards them. It definitely pops the question of whether Hanako wanted to play because it was with friends or she wanted some sort of similar interests with Kabakura. Especially since Hirotaka and Narumi game a lot together (as seen on Christmas lol). Speaking of Hanako, she shows up as a sorceress in a “paid-only” outfit. Hanako please…

We also get a little more insight on Hirotaka as despite being an avid gamer otaku, he dislikes onlines games because it forces you to interact with others, to which Hirotaka tends to avoid for the most part. Though it’s cute that he’ll always oblige if Narumi asks him. I can’t even imagine how it feels to not have any friends growing up, so I’m glad Hirotaka has this band of misfits to hang out with now. Before Hirotaka can show up, a rare and powerful enemy shows up and I just had to laugh really hard by how Narumi is just completely blinded by the prospect of money and rare drops she’d get if they defeat it.

And usually I can understand why Hanako argues with Kabakura at times, but this was definitely not one of them. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THE PERSON WHO HAS MORE EXPERIENCE SO YOU ALL DON’T DIE AND DON’T ATTACK YOUR PARTY MEMBERS.  “Hirotaka” shows up in a joke outfit which also shows who he is as a character. Despite his lack of emoting, he is actually quite goofy. Turns out it was Nao at the controls for the time being as Hirotaka was busy recording an anime. I think the main reason why Nao is so bad at games is that no one bothers to actually teach the boy how to do things so he just resorts to button mashing. However, never fear, the real Hirotaka comes in and literally one shots the enemy in the most glorious and anime fashion possible.

The second half of the episode is essentially boy and girl separate bonding time with Kabakura taking out his juniors for dinner and drinks while Narumi and Hanako go have dinner together. Now, what Hanako did is what I wish my friends would do lol (Though I am also guilty of not immediately watching something I am recommended heh…). Narumi suggested an anime to her and she immediately caught up so she could talk about it with her. What a great otaku friend T^T. However, the moment is ruined when they end up shipping opposite things. Oh, how that happens a lot in real life… That honestly happens a lot with one of my friends where we just end up shipping the opposite. It makes sense you’d want to ship similar things with your friends so you can talk about them. However, because of how touchy shipping is, it’s very difficult when you just flat out don’t ship the thing your friend does.

We then move over to guy talk with Hirotaka and Kabakura’s coworkers talking about how cute Narumi is, much to Hirotaka’s initial disdain. Though it was really cute how touched Hirotaka was to be referred to as Narumi’s boyfriend. He wasn’t even mad anymore that his coworkers were talking about her lol. What a cute~ We then get into a discussion with the girls about how they can’t really talk about their ships to their boyfriends for different reasons. Narumi can’t have fun discussing it with Hirotaka. While he is fine with the content, he’s not really into it and doesn’t have a strong preference. Which is actually very nice of him to be able to talk about it despite not having interest, but I can see where the annoyance lies. When discussing ships, you always want to have a passionate talk about them. Kabakura on the other hand outright shuts everything yaoi and BL down (despite ironically liking yuri) and Hanako just resorts to reading it in front of him where he can see. And thus we get a little bit of Kiss Him Not Me into it with Hanako and Narumi shipping their boyfriends together but have different tops and bottoms.

Look at that smexy stare~

I just love how while their coworkers are talking about Hanako’s qualities, Kabakura just kind of snickers in his head saying how she really is. Though he only talks about her negative qualities… Kabakura come on. Though when they start talking about her chest in such an obnoxious fashion, he goes scarily quiet. But before we get more into that (sheesh this episode sure likes to switch back and forth a lot), we come back to Narumi and Hanako’s top and bottom argument. And thankfully, unlike Kae and Nishina from Kiss Him Not Me, while they are passionate, they don’t end up not talking to each other like the adults that they are. Though I do think it’s funny how they both want their man on top, heh. Despite Kabakura’s rather scary, intense look at his coworkers, he handles the situation in a mature way of suggesting they should talk about girls that don’t have boyfriends. Way to defuse the tension, Kabakura. Have a gold star. But I do think the thing to take away that despite how different you are to someone, that doesn’t make it any less possible to be really close friends, which Narumi and Hanako displayed. Despite their difference in preferences of ships, the things that they eat, or how their personalities are, at the end of the day, they’re still really good friends.

Though I think one of the funniest parts of the episode was Nao overhearing Hanako and Narumi at the restaurant and thinks they’re talking praises about their boyfriends. And Nao being the absolute treasure that he is, is super happy and touched by it. Though Hirotaka being the realist, knows his girlfriend well enough that he knew she was probably talking about something different. Hirotaka certainly is a sharp one after all.

This episode felt a little weaker than the others, but probably because I didn’t really like the content in these stories as much as I did the others. But it was still just as enjoyable as ever with the chibis and the absolute absurdity that goes into these stories. Still waiting on this one character to appear. I wonder when that will be…

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[parasitic-psycho-filthy-creature]

Character Information (3)

Rot & Ruin

- Name: Haley Renee Kae + - Nicknames: Kae

(Basics)

- Gender: Female - Sexuality: Heterosexual - Age: 30 - Birthday: June 21st, 1986 - Zodiac Sign: Cancer - Nationality: American

(Relationships)

- Haley Kae | Mother + Born as Haley Miller, this woman was high-spirited and saw the good in everything. She was born in California and moved to Nevada to be closer to her cousins who also happened to be her best friends. She grew up listening to country music and learning to kick back and relax, but also to have fun. She met Kyle Kae on the beach on a rainy morning. She was sitting by the rocks on her lonesome, enjoying the smell of pre-rain in the air when a boy walked up to her and mentioned that she ‘seemed lonely’ and he thought to sit with her. She died during First Night. Zombie’s were crowding the streets and Kyle had a hold of her hand as they ran. She stumbled and fell, and as she hit the ground, a zombie had grabbed at her leg and bit her. She screamed painfully for Kyle to go find Haley and Kane and leave. It was in those last moments did Haley truly feel what heart ache was like because he knew Kyle loved her and wouldn’t see her again, and she was afraid to die.

- Kyle Kae | Father + Kyle and Haley met when they were older teens. He was eighteen while she was seventeen. He was born in Oklahoma and had moved to Nevada when he decided he wanted to live with his father rather than his mother. He enjoyed the cold and he enjoyed rodeos, but when he couldn’t find a rodeo in Nevada, he settled for finding parties and hanging around people who liked starting trouble just for the thrill of it. When he met Haley, he had the intentions of getting into her pants, but they actually formed a real romance and friendship, and his heart belonged to her completely. The night he proposed to her, they had already been together for maybe three years. He took her hands, got down on one knee, and asked in a shaky, nervous whisper: “Will you marry me?”. The night he lost her was the worst night of his life. Haley doesn’t know what happened to her father during First Night; she hasn’t heard from him since and doesn’t know if he’s alive or dead.

- Kane Kae | Brother + Haley and Kane weren’t exactly the best of friends, but he was a protective big brother for just being a year older, even into their adult years. They were the typical brother and sister; him always bugging and bothering her and her always tattle-tailing. He moved out of the house before she did, just moving into the next town over with his girlfriend. When Kyle called Kane on first night, he was frantic, telling him to get his girlfriend, get in the truck, and get home as fast as possible with him and Haley. Kyle wasn’t able to tell his children of their mother’s death before he was high-tailing it out of there. Haley and Kane’s girlfriend stayed on either side of Kane, both terrified. When the truck had ran out of gas, they were just on the edge of town. They walked the rest of the way, but hords of zombies were still around. Kane had died saving Haley’s life- pushing her out of the way so he’d get bitten instead of her. She ran for her life with his girlfriend at her side. His girlfriend eventually died as well, not wanting to run anymore. Haley eventually found a group of people and stayed with them- they were the group who settled in the mountains to set up the town of Mountainside.

(Love Interests)

- Tom Imura + Tom Imura was Benny Imura's 34-year-old brother and a survivor of the Zombie Apocalypse. He lived in Mountainside, a town in the Sierra Nevadas in Central California, where he worked as a zombie hunter, and preferred to be called a Closure Specialist. He and Haley didn’t really meet until some time after Mountainside was settled down and being built and organized. The two didn’t mind each other mother, but would see each other around more and more. The two became friends after another bit of time, and her romantic feelings for him began to grow first. They was slow, but steadily growing over time. She would sometimes find herself jealous of Jessie Riley, and after Jessie died, Tom grew somewhat dependent on Haley, especially going into the Rot & Ruin. The two would hold hands and Tom would lay with her at night, but they didn’t officially begin “dating” until Dust and Decay. But even before then, they shared meaningful midnight kisses. He found the stars beautiful in her eyes, and she found his hands warm in hers. The first and last time he told her he loved her was some time before being killed.

(Physical Appearance)

- Hair: Red - Eyes: Brown - Skin Tone: Olive - Height: 5′7″ - Weight: 110 lbs. - Haley doesn’t think of herself to be the most attractive person. The style of clothing she wears is simply a green and blue flannel with the sleeves rolled up, and white shorts with Jesus sandles. Her hair is always up in a braid, and her smile is simple yet sweet. Her body is built well, with her bust being at a B-cup, and her hips not too big nor small for her height.

(Mind)

- Health: + Mind: ✦ ✦ ✦ ✧ ✧ + Physical:   ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✧

- Phobias/Fears: Autophobia

- Attitude(s): Moody ; Helpful

(Physical Strength)

- Strength: ✦ ✦ ✦ ✧ ✧ - Speed: ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✧ - Agility: ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✧

(Personality)

Personality: ✧ Educated ✧ Logical ✧ Loyal  ✧ Complex ✧ Mellow ✧ Cautious Likes: ✧ Snow ✧ Sweets ✧ Stars ✧ Myths ✧ Flowers Dislikes: ✧ Isolation ✧ Binds ✧ Blood ✧ Bitterness (From people) ✧ Being startled Hobbies: ✧ Used to play soccer Sense of Humor: ✧ None Quirks: ✧ Too forgiving ✧ Dislikes sleeping ✧ Can’t lie ✧ Knows the phases of the moon just by looking at it ✧ Writes in cursive - Favorite Song: Amarillo By Morning

(Biography)

Born deaf in Carson City, Nevada, Haley can say that she had a pretty good life up until First Night. While in school, she dreamed of going to college and majoring in the fine arts and minoring in math. She was an excelled student, her grades consisting mostly of A's and B's. She hadn't dated anyone before due to there being a shortage of anyone who can speak sign language, and she had started puberty just two or three years back before First Night. She didn't have much close friends except for maybe two people she spent her time with. She cared about philosophy and keeping things in order and was a good child. She loved spending time with her parents and would always be happy to go to Oklahoma with her father and learn to ride horses. She had a happy childhood. When First Night broke out, she was reading in her room, though was continuously distracted by the winds and the dark clouds outside her window. When Kyle busted through her door telling her to get her shoes and jacket on, she did so in a hurry then followed her father to the truck awaiting outside with her brother Kane and his girlfriend. She was too scared to think about where her beloved mother might be, but as her family started going down the road, she could see groups of people coming down either side of the street. Rain began pouring violently down from the sky, and Kyle would only tell them to be quiet as he tried to concentrate on his driving. Haley would see the people outside, and see that they were pale and very dead looking, so she clung tighter to her brother's arm. When the truck was empty of gas, the four stuck together until the Zom's came closer. Haley was close to being bitten before Kane pushed the girls away and took the bite,  screaming at them, but it was obvious that it was to get out of there. Haley looked around frantically for her father but when she didn't see him in the storm, she grabbed Kane's girlfriend and began to ran. Eventually, she ended up by herself after Kane's girlfriend died, but it didn't take long for Haley to find a group of people to huddle with and hide with. Her first friend in Mountainside was Jessie Riley, and she introduced her to Tom a while after. Since meeting Tom, her view on relationships changed heavily.