#// without caring to actually understand them

[sinsinewave]

i will preface this by saying that my qualifications are rather limited as well at 2 years of advanced psychology studies, and a lot of experience with tech some limitations in my perspective include not having personal driving experience, and only really having experience in an environment with intensive driving education and existing public transport and pedestrian infra --- anyhow, i think the effect you're describing does exist, but for a different reason; it's more from not feeling the car as an extension of your body properly: people have an intuition to how to use the car, but not how to be the car so to speak consider the hypothetical of punching someone in the face when doing that, people generally have a visceral intuition for what their own body can do to others when you punch them however, adding the car as a separating layer, that intuition gets weaker: you no longer quite internalise the damage your actions can cause, and the power gets to your head --- contrast that to, say, a car enthusiast who has been working with cars for a long time and has a strong connection to them due to such a person feeling the car properly as an extension of the body, they have more of an intuition for what it can do; and thus are less likely to be arseholes on the road --- going back to the hypothetical average commuter without a true intuition for the car an outlier here are new and learner drivers; who often are quite respectful towards pedestrians in my experience i think this is from not having a false idea of skill; a new driver understands they're not a good driver whereas someone with some experience is potentially good at controlling the car, which creates a false idea of competence, while still lacking a proper feel for the car --- most of what i'm saying stems from my own experiences with people, and as a pedestrian: usually the worst and least respectful drivers are certain commuters, and teens in lowered BMWs whereas the safest drivers for me as a pedestrian are professional drivers, such as bus and lorry drivers, as well as enthusiasts who clearly put a lot of time and care into their car --- i've also noticed the same effect with other tools the people most prone to accidents or misuse of tools are those who aren't complete beginners and have some level of intuition for using the tool, but don't have the proper connection and intuition of a professional or enthusiast --- generalising a bit, i'd argue there's two "versions" of a tool becoming an extension of the body; which could be described as "usage intuition" and "effect intuition" out of those, having neither, both, or the latter is relatively safe, but having only the former is dangerous as you'll intuitively apply a tool but have a disconnect from what it actually does

This is the thing about being a pedestrian tho drivers just straight up loathe your existence and act like you are somehow a problem for being a fucking pedestrian. Some cunt in a jeep almost hit me today while I was ALREADY in the crosswalk and she had a red fucking light and had the balls to scream at me. Like fucking excuse you? I don't trust any of y'all as drivers and in my world, the driver should always be at fault of hitting a pedestrian. "You walked out in front of my big truck" cool get a smaller vehicle if you can't give pedestrians the right of way.

[m1rotics]

A lil mommy seonghwa fic because I need him more than air right now

It's around eleven when you make it home, you were supposed to get off at seven, but you got piled up and with extra tasks forcing you to work overtime, and traffic was bad on the way home. You can feel your bones get weighed down as you step through the door. The entirety of your body feels so incredibly heavy, you yawn, stretching your back. You slip out of your shoes, tucking them neatly in the corner. You hang up your keys and shuffle to the living room.

Seonghwa's strung across the couch, reading a book, and you collapse into his arms as fast as you can. Melting into him with a satisfied hum, soaking in the sweet scent of his cologne. He lets out a surprised noise, but he quickly relaxes, placing a hand on your back.

"hi, baby," he croons. The sound of his heart beating and the gentle rocking of his breathing lulling you to sleep. You drift between a limbo of consciousness and the sweet relief of sleep. You could pass out right here if he'd let you.

you mumble, "s been such a long day, mommy."

He rubs soothing circles onto your back, "I know, baby. You've been working so hard. You just want your mommy to take care of you?"

You mutter something incomprehensible, but seonghwa doesn't make you repeat it, he knows you do. He understands without you saying anything at all.

"poor thing, have you eaten?"

You shake your head, looking up at him with tired eyes and a pout, "skipped lunch.”

He tuts, "well, that won't do. C'mon let's go get some food in your stomach."

You open your mouth to protest, to tell him you don't need to eat, you just need him. But he hushes you with a kiss, and then he's ushering you off the couch and into the kitchen. You settle into a chair while he begins to whip something up for you. Usually, you'd spark up conversation and ask him about his day, but you can't bring yourself to speak. The two of you sit in comfortable silence.

He comes back with a bowl of noodles, setting it down in front of you and lowering himself into the chair next to you. And for a moment, simply looking at it makes you feel sick, and you hesitate to even touch your food. Seonghwa, however, doesn't bat an eye, taking matters into his own hands. He lifts the noodles to your mouth, and waits for you to take it. It turns into a routine after that: blow on it, then lift it to your mouth, and then he wipes your face when some broth gets on your chin.

He comes back with a bowl of noodles, setting it down in front of you and lowering himself into the chair next to you. And for a moment, simply looking at it makes you feel sick, and you hesitate to even touch your food. Seonghwa, however, doesn't bat an eye, taking matters into his own hands. He lifts the noodles to your mouth, and waits for you to take it. It turns into a routine after that: blow on it, then lift it to your mouth, and then he wipes your face when some broth gets on your chin.

If you weren't so exhausted, you'd feel childish. embarrassed even, and, to be honest, a piece of you does feel bad. Ashamed of the fact you can barely take care of yourself like a normal person, of the fact you need someone to do it for you.

But seonghwa's cooing at you the whole time, a pleased little smile on his face when you take each bite he offers, looking at you with such warmth. You try to remind yourself he wants to do this for you, but you can't help the way the doubts swallow you up like wildfire.

"Are you sick of doing this?" You manage to whisper as he prepares to feed you the last bite. He just looks at you, incredulous. "it's fine if you are, I won't be mad. Not at all actually. I...I could leave you alone. If you don't want me to burden you with my problems.”

Then he frowns, eyebrows knitting together, before sighing. He holds the noodles to your mouth, and you tentatively take it, chewing slowly.

"I'm not sick of doing this for you," he says, and it's painfully soft. "I enjoy taking care of you, I hope you know that. It's not a burden if I enjoy doing this for you, you understand that, right?”

You nod, slowly like you're unsure, like you're contemplating if he's telling the truth.

"I enjoy this just as much as you do, and you may not believe me, but I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't." He says this as he washes the bowl out, and you can't help but find the words slightly comforting.

You're not forcing him to do this for you. It isn't an obligation, nor an expectation. He simply does it because he can, because he wants to. That fact is jarring, hard to wrap your mind around.

You get knocked out of your thoughts when his hands rest on your shoulders, "now lets get you ready for bed, baby.”

It's easier to follow his lead after that. Let your mind get fuzzy at the edges while you take a backseat, and you fall right into the safe hold of his satiny, smooth voice. You trail him into the bedroom.

"go take a shower, I'll have your clothes ready when you come out."

You let out an affirmative noise, already heading straight to the bathroom. Once the hot water runs over your skin, you ascend. It soothes the ache hiding deep in your bones, and you catch yourself swaying. You hop out of the shower, wrap a towel around yourself, and drag yourself to the bedroom. Seonghwa glances up at you, "come here, stand in front of me."

You obey, coming to stand within arms reach of him. He picks up a pair of baby pink underwear, and you are now very aware of what he wants. He holds them in front of you and you step into them, pulling them up your legs; naturally, he does the same with the shorts he picked out.

He stands up, and you lift your arms. He slides the shirt over your head.

It's a cute sleep set, black and light pink. A little pocket on the breast. He takes a step back to admire the way it looks on you.

"you're so pretty, baby," he croons, and rubs his hands up and down your arms. Feather-light touches that make goosebumps rise on your skin.

"thank you."

His eyes meet yours, and he raises a brow.

"thank you, mommy," you're quick to fix your mistake.

He smiles, and it's so pretty your heart almost stops.

"Sit on the bed, I'll be right back."

You perch yourself on the edge, staring at your knees. Surprisingly, you're not thinking much of anything right now. Perhaps that's a blessing, a silent gift from seonghwa. You don't know how he manages to quiet your thoughts better than you do. You pray he never stops. You don't think you'd make it without him.

He comes back with lotion, and all too gracefully sinks to his knees. He squeezes some into his hand. He places your foot on his thigh, and rubs the lotion in. His touch is firm but gentle, massaging it into your skin. He takes your foot in his hands and kneads the lotion into your soles. More tension slipping out of you as the second fly by. The room smells like flowers, roses specifically. Fresh and bright.

When he's done, he kisses the top of your foot and moves onto the other leg. His lips are plump and soft against your skin. He repeats the process on the other leg, adding a kiss to both of your knees. He sits on the bed to do your arms. He finishes up with a kiss to both wrists, lingering a beat. He takes your hand, and simply holds it for a minute, staring at them with a dreamy look. He presses a kiss to the tips of your fingers. Delicate, barely there.

"I love you," he says, and you cup his cheek with your hand. He turns his head to press a kiss to your palm. Leaning forward, you plant a kiss on his lips, "I love you too."

"Let's lay down," he says, and with that all your exhaustion floods your mind again. you wiggle further into bed, rolling onto your side. Seonghwa crawls behind you. The two of you fit together like puzzle pieces, and he slings an arm over your waist, holding you close.

[revelboo]

I love the idea of Everything is Alright being a reverse haram with megs, but I see you said originally. So might not happened, which I think is fine. Star doesn't need anymore trauma, but I can also see the possibility of a simple human mending the tension between the higher ups. Just might cause star, and possibly sounds to be very worried

I may still include Megs later on, just wasn’t sure if I could balance all three. It’s a lot easier when the guys at least kind of get along and this dynamic… not so much

Everything is Alright Pt 55

IDW Starscream x Reader

• Keeping you cradled to him as he types one handed on a report, he’s aware of the warmth of you leaning against him, little head resting against his chassis. “You want to talk about whatever’s bothering you?” You ask softly and his wings flick slightly, servos miskeying a glyph, because he should have realized you’d notice something is off. Always watching him, looking to him. You know him and it’s almost frightening. “You don’t have to,” you add when he’s silent too long, because how to even start? And there’s no way to explain how upset he is about finding out about your life span, without revealing that he cares too much. Without making himself vulnerable and risking rejection.

• Resting your ear against him to listen to the soft thrum of his spark, you don’t really expect him to answer. His feelings are something he hoards, keeping them to himself and only occasionally slipping and letting you see that not only does he care about you, but he needs you with him. “You know I care for you,” he says slowly, raspy words humming through you where you’re against him as one of his servos runs from your shoulder down your arm until you lay your palm against him and he vents. It’s not a question exactly, but not really a statement either. A reminder of how insecure he can be, as if trusting anything or anyone is almost impossible.

• “I care about you, too.” He knows. He really does, but something about hearing you say it settles warm about his spark. Tucking his chin so he can see you, there’s something uncertain in your expression that catches at him before you press your cheek against him so he can’t see your eyes, hiding your expression from him. “I like waking up against you. Like when you worry about me even if you don’t need to. Even when you get aggravated, I like the way your wings fidget.”

• Embarrassed, you keep your face hidden against him, trying to tell him how you feel without saying the actual words. Because telling him you think you might love him and you’re not sure when that happened? Especially if he’s only after something physical, needing someone to be there, but not the same way? It might just break you. You like his nervous tics, like the warmth of him and the way his servos feel absently stroking, touching you. You like him.

• Servos pressing you closer to him, grounding himself with the feel of you until you make a little noise of protest, mumbling that he’s squishing you and he relents. Again he thinks about how it would feel to entrust his spark to you, to feel you touch him that way. Would it only drive home the differences between you? Remind him painfully that there’s no way for this to ever be more, no spark in you to lose himself in? And so little time, he can feel it slipping away from him regardless. Head falling back against the back of his chair, he vents. Softly, hesitantly in Cybertronian, he begins to speak, knowing you can’t understand and feeling you shift to try and look at him as he shutters his optics so he won’t see your expression, because it’s hard enough to open up and this is the only way he can, this one sided conversation. Wishing for things not meant for him, swearing to protect you and cherish what time he has. That you’re his, spark or no spark. Regret and fear and love all tangled together. Feeling when you lay your head back down against him, listening to him without knowing how hard these words are.

Previous

Next

[dilatorywriting]

I feel we are all super mean to the reader with Siren Vil??? Are they actually stupid or is it just that they can’t understand what’s going on? Which is kinda valid considering their situation?

I mean it has to be hard for them, right? Not only do they have trouble communicating with THEIR world since they are almost 100% deaf, but then you have the extreme cultural differences of trying to communicate with someone who exists in what is basically from a completely DIFFERENT world (part of your world reference anyone?).

I just feel like, while they may not be a genius or anything, it’s kind of mean to be expecting them to know what’s going on when they have so much working against them. We’re calling them stupid for not understanding that the necklace was a courting gift and that the siren would come back for them… why would they think that?

They could tell the necklace meant more to the siren than they thought it should have and it made the siren more friendly, but why would that equate to what is basically marriage and never leaving them behind? And the reader knows the siren wants to get back to his pod really badly. While they became friends and got attached, that wouldn’t mean he would come back to help the reader. Of course the reader is going to see a ship and try to get off of where they were marooned.

As dumb as the reader CAN be sometimes (like when they took a bite of the cooked crab without removing its shell ��‍♀️) I really don’t think they’re THAT stupid. They’re just… on the level of someone who was probably an uneducated kid when they snuck aboard a pirate ship and never looked back and now they’re an adult. You mentioned in one chapter I believe that Riddle taught them to read I think? Or something?

I LOVE this story, don’t get me wrong. At all. Ever. I adore it.

The fact that I’m even here hanging out on the author’s blog shows how much I love it - and your other writing. I guess it’s just been getting to me a little how we all seem to slam Siren Vil’s reader so much. Maybe I’m just making mountains out of molehills. Maybe you’re just being sarcastic and I’m missing the cues because I’m neurodivergent and I do that sometimes. If so I’m sorry.

To end on a good note, I’m really happy you’re back and are doing better. I know how much brains can suck. If your demons are too mean to you, just send Reaper Rook after them. He’ll take care of them for you, I’m sure of it! 💚🖤

I think it’s mostly said out of love, like how when you pick up a cat to give it cuddles and call it a stinky lil garbage gremlin even though you would die for that creature. The Reader in this is someone I try to write as having inconsistent levels of intelligence. Great planner, great at setting goals and reaching them, but TERRIBLE emotional intelligence all around. Not just in Siren Language. Just overall is blind to a lot going on around them. And yes, the added layer of communication difficulties certainly don’t help, but this is a reader I fully see as one who even *if* they had super sight, hearing, and intellect would still be missing the point of things simply because they’re stubborn in their perception and lock onto that One Thing rather than being willing to see the bigger picture. Even when the evidence is staring them right in the face. Which is why we lovingly call them a big ol doofus.

[girlw-amermaidtattoo]

How to Become the Best Service Sub Ever

Now that you understand the appeal, let’s get practical! Being a great service sub is more than just doing chores. It’s about anticipation, attitude, and efficiency. Ready to level up your service sub game? Here are 10 tips to make sure your dominant thinks you’re the best thing that ever happened to their household.

10 Tips for Being the Best Service Sub

1. Know Your Dominant’s Preferences

Don’t guess—learn what your dominant likes and doesn’t like. Whether it’s how they like their coffee or the perfect way to organize their bookshelf, knowing these details will make your service feel personal and attentive.

2. Be a Mind Reader (Sort Of)

Okay, you can’t actually read minds, but try to anticipate your dominant’s needs. If you notice the laundry is piling up or their favorite snack is running low, take action before they have to ask. Proactive service shows you’re paying attention.

3. Love What You Do

Service doesn’t have to be boring! Take pride in every task, no matter how small. Whether you’re folding towels or organizing the pantry, approach it with enthusiasm. The more effort you put in, the more rewarding it becomes.

4. Communicate Regularly

Check in with your dominant about their expectations. Ask if there’s anything you can improve or if there are specific tasks they’d like done differently. Clear communication will ensure you’re always on the right track.

5. Be Open to Feedback

Don’t take feedback as criticism—it’s a way to improve! If your dominant suggests a different way to do something, embrace it as a learning opportunity. A willingness to adapt is key to being an excellent service sub.

6. Keep a Schedule

Organize your tasks with a routine. Whether it’s daily chores or weekly duties, having a clear schedule will help you stay on top of things and ensure that nothing is missed. It also shows your dominant that you’re serious about your service.

7. Prioritize Their Comfort

A top-tier service sub is all about making life easier for their dominant. Does your dominant have a favorite way to relax after work? Prepare their space, set the mood, and make it perfect for them. Small acts of thoughtfulness go a long way.

8. Be Discreet but Efficient

Your role is to serve, not to be in the spotlight. Complete your tasks efficiently without drawing too much attention to yourself unless requested. Let your work speak for itself, and let the results shine.

9. Practice Self-Care

To be the best service sub, you need to take care of yourself too! Stay healthy, well-rested, and mentally sharp so you can be at your best when fulfilling your duties. A burnt-out sub isn’t as effective or happy.

10. Have Fun with It!

Remember, being a service sub should be fulfilling for you too. Find joy in knowing that your actions are making a difference. Add your personal touch to the tasks you perform, and most importantly, enjoy the dynamic!

Whether you’re a seasoned working sub or just considering the role, embracing the art of service can be an incredibly rewarding experience. It’s all about creating a harmonious, caring relationship with your dominant, where both parties feel respected, satisfied, and fulfilled. Now go out there, take pride in your tasks, and get ready to be the best service sub ever!

[rmbunnie]

It's most likely just Starlin trying to get to Jason dying faster because he did not like Robin, but the whole "Jason's spiraling because of his grief for his parents" thing they were trying to spin was honestly really weird, not supported by the rest of the run INCLUDING the parts Starlin wrote, and kinda reads like an unreliable narrator situation because all of the information supporting it is given through Bruce's narration, him speculating on Jason's thoughts and actions.

The plot thread of Jason's grief for his family affecting his behavior shows up like TWO issues after Jason first becomes Robin back when Collins was writing, and gets sorted out after one conversation where Jason gets to confront Bruce about hiding his father's death from him for 6 months. After that Jason is behaving normally until they encounter three predators in a row, and each time Bruce insists that they can't do anything because of The Rules and assorted red tape/diplomatic immunity plotlines. (The sister of a woman who got dismembered actually tricked the violent-misogynist killer who dismembered her sister (and then got his serial killings dismissed through a technicality) into attacking her, and ends up killing him in self-defense, and then Jason's like "seems fair" and Bruce is like "no. it's NOT. we need to follow laws and not take justice into our own hands. which like wtf Bruce! you are a vigilante who just used a custom tank to fight an evil televangelist! who then got ripped to shreds by his followers while you watched!)

Bruce kinda just decides with Alfred that it must be grief upsetting him and not the dozens of brutally killed women and their predatory killers who the law inexplicably protected, (all written by Starlin, so retconning it for DitF like five issues later would be an odd move) but the only text claiming that's why Jason was upset is from Bruce's POV and through Alfred's dialogue. Jason himself doesn't display any signs of grief in the story itself, or even act or speak in a way that alludes to Catherine and Willis beyond looking at a picture of them and smiling fondly while he sorts through their possessions. He kinda just happens upon the box with his mother's info by chance, and is like ok i guess we're doing mom searches now. He was only going for a walk through his old neighborhood, not actively searching out info on his family. When Jason is deciding whether or not to run off without telling Bruce, he considers telling him and then goes "no, all he cares about is being Batman, he wouldn't even understand why I want to see my mom." Which, I mean, "Bruce wouldn't get it" is a REALLY odd angle if the sole motivator for spiraling, then getting benched* and running away to search out his bio-mom, was because he was mourning his dead parents, a thing he notably has in common with Bruce. That statement only really makes sense if he's thinking about a different thing that was greatly upsetting to him that Bruce brushed past, like maybe a combo of hiding the murder of his dad for half a year and allowing several cases involving sexual violence to freely develop body counts in the name of the law.

Lots of people have written about how Jason's stay in the manor might have seemed dependent on being Robin with how he was kinda just scooped up, but (if we're including Detective Comics in our characterization,) Bruce had offered to let him resign from Robin and just live with him (a little late, but still. It's worth noting Batman proper shows Jason afraid and uncomfortable at the thought of Dick taking Robin back, which lends more merit to the housing-dependent-on-Robin-misunderstanding interpretation, but canon is pick and choose anyways.) The lack of trust involved in his choice to search out his mom kinda reads like it was bred by more than that alone, and Bruce's prioritization of the law over the protection of the people it ignores is notably upsetting to him in the prior issues. tbh I really do believe the outcomes of those cases could have informed Jason's stance that Bruce's method of justice is ineffective right alongside his own murder and his experiences in Lost Days.

It would make sense for Bruce to not consider his own actions while he's thinking through things that would upset Jason, because from his point of view the things there that were bothering Jason were the criminals alone, not the way that the methods with which they were approaching their crimes continually led to the perpetrators evading actual justice. During the point in DitF where he's thinking through motivations for Jason's running away because something isn't adding up for HIM, the idea doesn't so much as cross his mind. It would also add another layer to Jason's sulkiness upon Bruce's arrival if he held the belief that Bruce is ignoring the consequences his brand of justice has on victims (and the way it's affecting him to helplessly watch it play out), starts to hope that Bruce actually can understand his thought processes/relate to him when he shows up, only to be told to his face that Bruce is prioritizing his style of justice over Jason again. With the way everything that led Jason to his bio-mom was comically circumstantial and the context of the previous issues, it's kind of the ONLY way Death in the Family makes sense to me. Tldr: I feel like the grief claimed as reasoning for Jason's actions leading up to his death is mainly speculation from Bruce and Alfred and the more textually-supported reason for his erratic behavior and lack of trust in Bruce is the lack of intervention in several sensitive cases that led them to worsen unobstructed and eventually permitted them to escalate into casualties in 2 out of 3 cases.

*Also, side note, but the idea that Jason got benched for the Filipe situation, while perfectly reasonable, is not quite spot on. The Filipe situation escalated into the fight in the junkyard where his dad is crushed by a car and Bruce is all "everything you do has consequences" which is kinda big words for a guy whose lack of action indirectly lead to a girls death earlier in the storyline, but true. Jason actally gets benched because he jumps directly into gunfire while fighting the third set of predators and Bruce starts to worry he's getting a little suicidal with it. He baits a guy into shooting at him on purpose again trying to protect mom prospect number 1 later on in DitF, so Bruce might have had a point with that one.

[listleven]

A SUCCESS STORY FROM POWERFUL LITTLE ME

Heres a little wake up call. Before learning about the law I used to be so delusional. So far gone from reality like. Ignorance was fucking bliss I was manifesting crazy shit and when I realized this was the work of loa, I doom scrolled to educate myself on something I was already good at. Let me show you a glimpse of what I used to do.

When I was in middle school I had learned about manifesting. And I went about it in a strange way. I was a really good student up studying always made me a little crazy. School made me a little crazy. And I would pick myself up and go every morning because I had to. I preferred school over home but I hated both. So I was kind of indifferent to it. At this time I heard of manifesting. It was the end of December and I was just sick of school. So utterly sick I wanted to never come back. And I don’t know what made me do this but I would swear up and down that something was going to happen to me and I wasn’t going to school. And I kept saying this to myself to motivate me to pick myself up. (I have no idea what I was on, I was so delusional) I didn’t know what I was doing like I still went to school everyday but i was just joking around a little off my hinges you know. Anyway i got appendicitis 💀. And I stayed home for a the whole of February 💀.

I didn’t connect this to manifesting bc it seemed like a coincidence and I had been having stomach pain + frequent hospital trips for a few months so it was like it already happened. Anyway I went back to school and my home room teacher was my English teacher. And in English we had this thing where we wrote a book entry everyday and after two weeks we turned them in. Now I was always on time with this but since I had surgery I didn’t do mine and procrastinated on it even when I went back to school. So the Friday I woke up and figured she’d check them I was so scared it was the due date. But again idk what possessed me but I woke up shook my head and decided she wouldn’t come to school even though she never specifically skips Fridays.

I turned out she fell down some stairs and didn’t return for the rest of the year. The guilt ate me up. I confessed 😭. I told my friends it was me. She was already over weight and I was so worried. I did this with my math teacher when I didn’t do the hw but she always came back the next day. From that day manifesting scared me. I didn’t use subs, meditations or anything I just knew in a disregarding way.

After a horrific few months of introspection. I’m understanding things and have been consistently manifesting things for myself the past few days. Now I want to point a few things out. Me manifesting getting appendicitis took ignoring my life and having a “feeling”(It was NOT a feeling I was delusional asf and made things up to help me cope) but I persisted without knowing it would ACTUALLY happen. It took a month of persistence while manifesting my teacher not coming took an hour. There was no goal. I already had what I had wanted and in both cases didn’t care for the 3d. I didn’t do anything wrong to delay my manifestations the first time. I simply did not care about time. Or about 3d. Because i didn't even know what i was doing at the time id never heard of loa just manifesting. It didn’t matter that it manifested in a month and the other in an hour. I didn’t waver during either. I was a delusional ahh kid. I didnt do any of those things bc I didn't know what i was doing. I think it was escapism. Trying not to identify with my reality in order to bear it. And on feb 1st i had gotten surgery.

Another thing. I was religious during this time bc of my family. So I definitely had limiting beliefs but that did not stop anything. Despite having them I manifested what I wanted. When we only focus on tackling limiting beliefs we make them worse by giving them value and over stressing them. I will get more into this in a future post just wanted to point out that if 12 year old stubborn, crazy, delusional, religious, me could do it so can you.

~ With love Jyspire

[anyroads]

This is great and all but I need people to understand that it took Republicans almost 3/4 of a CENTURY to undo the labor rights and anti-trust laws FDR and his Congress enacted because they embedded them so well in the country's legal system.

And that was because FDR wasn't just president, he had a Democratic Congress - both House and Senate - to work with.

If you take anything away from this post, I hope it's that the President isn't enough on their own. You need to vote, and you need to vote down ballot. There's another Congressional election in 2 years, as there always is. It will matter if the Senate flips. Right now Trump has the presidency and the Senate and the Supreme Court. And you know what, I know that some people reading this are going to be the ones who don't want their activism to take real effort. No no, listen, I'm not judging you right now - no one knows you're reading this post, no one knows you're the one who loves armchair activism but doesn't want to actually leave the house or interact with people to actually do any of it. You can request a mail-in ballot online. You can vote without ever leaving the house. No one has to know how you vote, or that you voted at all. Burn the little sticker they give you for all I care. And then do some phone banking. You don't have to go door to door, no one has to know you're helping. But phone bank. Every cause you support does phone banking. Environmental orgs, trans support orgs, civil rights orgs, they all host phone banking before elections, where they give you a script and a list of numbers, and all you have to do is make some calls to people who are already in line with that cause and ask them to go vote.

But fucking vote. Because this post? This is a circle jerk hoping for a last ditch effort of a dying flame that we could have ignited more instead of let go out. And a big reason why is that most people on this hellsite have no understanding of basic civics, including how the US government works, let alone even the most recent history of what that government has done. The president isn't enough. Historically their power has been checked by the other two main branches of government (and who knows how that's about to change). The last time the Democrats had a solid hold of two branches of government - the Presidency and Congress - they changed labor laws and enacted anti-trust laws that led to half a century of the middle class expanding and fair enough pay that a kid working a summer job could buy a car. Now Republicans have all three branches of government (basically everything except the House, whose power can barely check the Senate right now) and want to do the exact opposite with their power. Whatever your activism it, it doesn't stop you from voting, and is useless if no one votes.

joe biden, you stupid fuck. listen to me. Crimes are legal for sitting presidents as long as they’re official actions. Listen: Joe. You have one chance

[explodingchantry]

Thing about veilguard that I see people say a lot is that it's mostly for new fans and whilst yes it's obviously partly true, I find bioware actually fails a lot in that regard - in 'pulling in new fans'. So in the end their desperate attempts at catering to new fans as well as old fans just hurts both new and old fans alike.

I'm obviously an old time fan of dragon age but I find that whilst veilguard over-exposes some of its lore, it barely explains a lot of it, too? It's really clumsy in what it chooses to over explain and what it doesn't and it ends up feeling very strange.

Further spoilers for basically the whole game

Like even the codexes don't actually explain that much, and you don't get to go to a companion and ask them to tell you their whole life stories like you used to in previous games. I don't know how a player who has never heard of dragon age is supposed to care about all of those Solas memories, about the reveals regarding the titans, about meeting a fragment of mythal and hearing morrigan speak about having a part of her inside of herself as well. I don't know how a new player who doesn't know anything about dragon age is meant to care or even understand anything about ANY of the revelations pertaining to the blight and it's advancements. There were parts that horrified me with their implications but would fly over the heads of even fellow fans who didn't care about the same aspect of the lore as I did

In a sense it feels like veilguard doesn't know who it wants to be for and because of that it fumbles in quite a few ways. But I find it really hard to believe that the story and lore would be friendly to a completely new player especially because a lot of the game is about revealing those fucking earth shattering bits of info and confirming age long theories. It's too loaded in it's history, too reliant on that history, to land without it. (which is why the lore inconsistencies feel all the more baffling)

[sasheemo]

C'è sempre una prima volta (there is a first time for everything)

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Butch!Reader

Tags: One-Shot, Established Relationship, Strap-Ons (Rr), Frist Strap-On Experience (Rr), Smut with Fluff, Sexual Stereotypes, Mommy Kink and Praise Kink if you squint until your eyes hurt

Summary: You and Melissa have been together for almost a year and she wants to try something new in bed, you’re just taken aback by her request.

Word Count: 2.4k

Read on AO3

A/N: this was originally posted on 13.05.24 (AO3 only), but since I'm putting together a Masterlist, I decided to post it here too so that I could include it. This was the first fic (or anything really) I ever wrote , also english is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes you might encounter. I added some Italian here and there in the fic and you will find the translations in brackets.

You had just finished giving your beautiful girlfriend her second orgasm of the night when she looked at your straight in the eyes asking if this time she could use the strap on you. You were both lying on your bed and she was still panting and high from her orgasm, but she seemed pretty serious about her question. 

Noticing your surprised - and kinda worried - expression, Melissa asked you what was wrong.

“No no, nothing! Just to be clear, I’m not saying no … it’s just that nobody ever asked me something like that. I honestly never thought somebody would even want to have sex with me with a strap”

“Ma cosa stai dicendo?! (What are you even saying?!) Why would you think that?” 

“Well, I mean, usually butches are seen as tops and I guess in my case that is what was always expected from me in a relationship. When I say that nobody ever asked something like that to me I mean it. I always felt like it was implied that if someone was supposed to use the strap in bed…that would be me. And nobody actually ever behaved differently, proved it wrong or cared enough to talk about it I guess…” you replied plainly but with a hint of hurt in your voice

Melissa looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher. Was it anger? Was it disappointment? Was it sadness? “Hon, I never expected anything from you since the day we met. It’s not about other people’s expectations, what you think you owe them, it’s about what you want. As for me, I just want you. All of you without any stereotype, expectation or limitation. Fuck everyone else and their opinions!”. You look at her lovingly, knowing she is telling the truth as you never felt any kind of pressure from her, from day one you could always be your truest self with her. 

You prop your head forward looking for her lips, but you notice that she doesn’t move and lets you come to her. Once you’re an inch away you feel her sultry voice brushing your lips “Now, do you want me to fuck you senseless with that strap or not?”

You instantly switch your gaze from her mouth to her eyes just to find two piercing emerald pools looking straight into your soul. That look alone could have you coming in seconds. Every. Single. Time. 

“Yes please.” a whisper comes out of your mouth as you lower your gaze

“Good girl. Now, we are going to start slowly and if I hurt you, if you’re uncomfortable or if at any point you change your mind, just let me know, ok? Guardami (look at me) and tell me you understand.” 

You finally look back at her and your stomach just drops. There she is, fully naked lying next to you. This gorgeous, fierce, stern, dominating and yet so reassuring woman. “I do, I understand.”

On that note she gets up without saying a word, takes the strap that had been sitting next to you on the bed for the past minutes, and proceeds to put it on. Still lying in bed you look at her. You have to admit the sight was just mouth-watering. It wasn’t the strap, it was Melissa wearing it and knowing she was about to fuck your brains out with it.

Once she’s done she hops on the bed placing herself between your legs, before starting to caress your sides, chest and abdomen with her hands. You ease into her touch as you start to feel her nails scarping down your hips and upper thighs. You whimper as moans start escaping your lips.

“That’s it baby, rilassati (just relax) and let me make you feel good.” with that she pushes your legs a bit more apart, while tracing your inner thighs with her nails. 

You start to feel that familiar buildup in your lower abdomen and wetness pooling between your legs. 

“Mel, touch me please.” comes out of your lips almost as whisper

“I am touching you” her eyes snap up at you and a familiar electricity shots through your body when you recognize that look on your girlfriend’s face.

You’re enjoying this, but so is she. Probably even more than you right now. Teasing you and filling you up with anticipation. 

“Mmm, I-I need you inside of me Mel…”

“How badly?” She asks in the sultriest voice while her fingers run up your thighs and down your hips stopping before reaching where you need her the most. 

You cry out at her stopping and move your hips involuntarily. “So bad Mel, please, just ple-ahh!” Air gets sucked in your throat when you feel her fingers sliding through your folds. 

“I’m afraid we’ll have to change the sheets once I’m done with you. You’re dripping now e non ho nemmeno iniziato (and I barely even started).” 

You knew she was probably right but there was nothing you could do about it. She was just incredibly hot and you melted under her touch every single time. 

You didn’t even have time to form your thought about what she just said as you felt two fingers sliding into you.

“Oh my God Mel fuckkk” you screamed feeling how easily her fingers entered you. Melissa started moving them at an excruciatingly slow pace. As if you needed any time to adjust given how wet you were, she was just teasing. 

Seeing how desperate you were, starting to move your hips to get more friction, your girlfriend got the hint and picked up her pace. Wet sounds and moans filling the room as her pace fastened more and more. 

You were already getting close when you suddenly felt Melissa slipping her fingers out of you. Crying at the loss you shot her a pouty frustrated look, just to see her getting up on her knees and centering herself  between your legs.

You started to internally panic a little bit. You were aroused as fuck but this was still something new for you. As if reading your mind, your girlfriend looked at you. Her glance holding a warmth that would otherwise be out of character in a not so new situation. You gave her a silent nod and bit your bottom lip in anticipation, worry and arousal. 

Just a few seconds later you felt the tip of her cock sliding through your folds, stopping just above your clit. You moan, still biting your lip,  and your hips start moving again. 

She slides her cock up and down your pussy a few times to spread your wetness around and on her cock, before finally aligning herself to your entrance. You prop yourself up on your elbows just in time to see the tip disappear between your folds. 

“Am I hurting you baby?” Melissa checks in running her left hand across your thigh.

“No, please keep going Mel, I need more.” you cry out almost ashamed at your neediness. Melissa’s worried expression turning into a satisfied and mischievous one. 

In one swift motion she fills you up completely. You are surprised at how this is not hurting at all, you truly are that wet for her. Not that you doubted it. 

With her eyes fixated on yours, Melissa starts moving. Her hands are on your hips as she pulls out almost completely before sliding back in. She does that a few times before picking up her pace and setting a nice rythm, which is unfortunately not enough for you at the moment. 

“Fuck Mel, more! Fuck me harder baby please!” you cry out trying to reach for her thighs, your nails scraping the sheets. 

You whimper and moan at the sudden loss when a few seconds later you don’t feel her cock inside of you anymore. You look at her just in time to see drops of saliva dripping down her lips and feel them landing on your clit.

You feel every organ you have dropping, not just your stomach. “M-Melissa did you just-“

“Spit on your pretty cunt? Yes I did, why?”

“It-it’s just s-” that’s how little you manage to say between moans before she starts spreading it across your pussy with her cock. 

“It’s just so what baby?” She’s looking at you with a lustful grin and deep dark eyes. She bites her bottom lip waiting for your answer while she keeps sliding her cock over your wet pussy. 

“It’s just so hot.” you moan starting to move your hips again . “Please Mel, fuck me.” you’re basically crying out now and her eyes turn even darker. 

Without you even realizing, she suddenly slams her cock back into you, full lenght sliding in even more easily than before. She starts pounding you at a deliciously atrocious rythm. The sound of her hips colliding with your inner thighs fills the room and makes you both wetter. 

“You like feeling me deep inside you, filling you up? Mh?” her voice cuts through your bliss and you just close your eyes to try and not come on the spot. 

“Mmm fuck … fuck … yes! Yes I do, please don’t stop!” 

“I want you to look at me, open your eyes. Now.” The emphasis she puts on that last word made you quiver and you instantly opened your eyes. 

You couldn’t avoid looking down at where her cock was disappearing inside of you and coming out glistening, just to be slammed back in. Again and again. 

The rythm she was keeping, the sounds echoing through the room, her beautiful boobs bouncing at her every movement and her eyes never leaving yours. Everything was building up inside of you and you felt so close. 

Your moans and your breathing were frantic now. One hand gripping the sheets and the other gripping the strap’s leather belt across one of Melissa’s hips. 

She knew you were close as she bent forward to kiss you hard. It was a very sloppy kiss, tongues swirling in between moans and pantings. She placed her hands on both sides of your head with her perfectly sharp white nails gripping the sheets. You scratched down her back with both hands making her arch and hit a spot inside of you you didn’t even know existed. 

She was looking down at you, red curls falling all around you as you placed both your hands on her hips gripping the leather harness so tight “I-I think … I’m going to.. c-come” you cried out looking at her, pleading with your eyes.

Her hips were on autopilot, pounding into you with an animalistic rythm. “Ask nicely bimba (baby girl).” she whispered with a smirk plastered on her lips.

At this point you just couldn’t talk anymore. You felt so full and intoxicated by everything she was doing to you. You knew you couldn’t come without her permission though. So you took one last glance at her cock going in and out of you so quickly “Mel please PLEASE let come on you cock, please I can’t take it anymore!” was the pathetic cry that managed to escape your lips. 

She smiles down at you before swinging her hair to one side with a swift motion of her head, just a second before you feel her right arm slipping between your bodies. Her hand reaches  your clit while she starts thrusting into you even harder. You weren’t excepting that, you didn’t think for one split second her rythm could actually increase even more than it had. 

Her fingers start drawing fast circles on your clit and your legs start to shake. “Come for mama pretty girl.” with that permission you just moan loudly and let go. You see black and feel your pussy clenching around Melissa’s cock as one of the most powerful orgasms you ever experienced rushes through you. 

Yet she doesn’t stop. She gradually reduced her thrusting rythm to accompany you down your high. Not stopping even when you reopen your eyes, flustered and panting. Now going deadly slow, she starts feather kissing your face before connecting your lips in a long passionate kiss. Her movements now come to a stop but you both moan loudly into the kiss as her cock is still inside of you. 

“I’m going to pull out now, please relax for me baby, you did so good.” She says before giving you a kiss on the cheek, lifting herself up and pulling her cock out of you. She removes the harness and places everything at the end of the bed before coming to lie down next to you. 

She perks up on her left elbow and starts tracing figures on your abdomen with her right hand. Sharp nails causing you to have goosebumps all over. You turn to place your left hand behind her neck, pulling her into a loving kiss. You scarpe the back of her head, slightly pulling on messy red curls, while you kiss her passionately hoping all the love you feel for her will be felt through that kiss. 

She kisses you back with the same intensity, making you feel all the love in this world. You part after a while because you smiled into the kiss and Melissa is now looking at you with an amused and puzzled expression. So you also perk up on your elbow, to be directly in front of her and look her straight in the eyes. 

“I never thought I’d let anyone have me like that, let alone enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you for wanting to try this with me. You’re the only person I’ve ever trusted enough or wanted to try this with.” 

Taken aback by your words, her mouth hangs slightly open for a few seconds. Her eyes light up with tenderness and emotions most people wouldn’t imagine Melissa capable of showing. 

“Thank you for trusting me with this and for allowing me to see you like that. You’re incredibly beautiful amore mio (my love).” Melissa says before closing the few inches separating your mouths. And in that kiss you both feel how special your love is. 

You stay a bit like that, lying naked with your lips on her forehead and her face resting on your chest. Bodies intertwined as you slowly drift into sleep grateful for the amazing girlfriend life put on your path. 

[lookingforstupid]

I can relate to James, probably to a greater extent than most of the newer generation of the fanbase does, because I too have experienced caretaker’s fatigue and seen the shadow of depression.

My parents both got terribly sick almost around the same time a while ago, one with a fractured skull and potential brain damage, the other with a severe autoimmune disease that rendered her bedridden and gave her disfiguring skin lesions not unlike Mary’s in the game. I took extensive no-pay leaves from work to stay with them in the hospitals. Sitting on cold benches outside of the ICUs through seemingly endless winter nights, waiting and dreading to hear their names yelled out by the nurses on duty. I’d take a nap at 6am and wake up with a start at 10am. I ate instant noodles squatting outside of the ward. People joked that I looked 40 when I was only in my mid-20s.

While I never considered (or never dared to consider?) doing something as actively destructive as murdering them, I did, for several long moments, seriously ponder the possibility of running away and abandoning them. Leave them to their own devices. Death by passivity, if you will. I was young, broke, all alone, and I too wanted my so-called life - an abstract idea of being care-free - back, even though there would be no life worth living for me without the only people in this world who would ever love me unconditionally.

And looking back, I don’t actually feel ashamed for having these troubled thoughts, because it’s human nature. Unless you are dirty rich or have a social support system straight out of a Utopia, the constant grind, the exhaustion, the despair and the sword of Damocles hanging above your head will always get you in the end. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just lying.

So yeah, James’ story really hits close to home and he’ll never be just a black and white good guy/bad guy for me. I don’t condone the crime, but I understand the motivation.

[twilightkitkat]

Hi, I have a question, what do you think the relationship between Logan and Steve would be like? Would they be friends or just partners in war? In "X-Men Evolution" You can see how Logan has a certain appreciation for him, saying that both make a great team , and Wade's reaction to knowing that his peanut knows his childhood idol would be very funny, he would surely go crazy

(English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any mistakes)

I think that Logan and Steve have a unique relationship. They're close in the sense that they trust each other and would fight back to back without doubt, but they're distant in the sense that they don't spend a ton of time together. They both have worked together long enough to know that they make a good team and that the other's reliable, but they aren't traditional friends.

I feel like Steve would feel closer to Logan than Logan feels to Steve. Steve remembers the war like it was yesterday, he suddenly woke up in the future with it fresh in his mind. Suddenly everyone he knew is now dead and he has to come to terms with an entirely new reality. He'd struggle and look for any kind of familiarity he could, and so even people he used to just view as teammates he misses. Logan was someone he admired, who used to run into danger and miraculously come out of it alive each time. He was a symbol of hope for Steve, and an inspiration for how he should fight to win the war.

Logan, on the other hand, lived through all those years. He's used to war and violence and meeting people and losing them. Most of it blurs together, after a while. He knew about his immortality and always expected to outlive his teammates, so he kept emotional distance from them. He cared about Steve in a way, they worked together and occasionally they drank together and exchange stories, but he never was under the illusion it'd last. So he did what he was good at: distancing himself before people had the chance to get too close. He respected Steve's abilities and even came to like him, but there was always a wall between them.

But still, the two spent time together. Both out of necessity and occasionally by choice. Steve was more open between the two, and talked about his life and hopes and dreams. Logan couldn't help but listen, even if he couldn't offer much in return. He sometimes sprinkled in half-truths about his life, but kept it vague. He couldn't let anyone find out about his mutant status or actual age, so he was pretty withdrawn. Steve noticed, but didn't comment.

If they reunited, it'd be a one-sided shock. Logan watches TV and naturally knew about Captain America's existence. How could he not, when Steve Rogers was America's poster boy? The Avengers were way too big to fly under the radar. Meanwhile, Steve knew about the X-men's existence, but never thought it might be Logan as The Wolverine he'd heard about.

When they sorted it out, I think Steve would be grateful to have someone who he shared a past with. Who knew about who he used to be and what war was like back then. Logan would feel a little lighter, knowing that his old teammate was doing well. They might not see eye to eye all the time and their methods are pretty different, but they both care.

Wade would be understandably shocked and awestruck when he learned they knew each other. But more than Wade's reaction to Steve, I think that Steve's reaction to Wade would be interesting.

Steve had always seen Logan as someone distant and unattainable. He didn't open up to people and clearly had some secrets he was keeping close. Even after learning about his powers with their reunion, he didn't know everything about his past. He thought Logan was just that kind of guy, caring and kind in his own way but gruff and stoic on the outside. A lone wolf who's dedicated to doing the right thing, but doing it his way.

And here Wade was, bouncing around Logan like a damn pinball in a machine, and Logan was... smiling at him. Fondly, dripping with affection. It's so painfully obvious that he cares and Steve has never seen Logan so open about his feelings. He was expressive, sure, but he guarded his affection and more vulnerable emotions close to his heart.

It'd be a little jarring to see how Logan acted around Wade. Affectionate, free, content. It wasn't like the image Steve had in his head at all and yet it suited him.

It made Steve reflect on himself. If even Logan could act like that, what about him? He'd fostered business relationships, friendships, and teamwork. But maybe he should look for more. (Could he be that happy, too?)

Steve may be America's Poster Boy, but he was alone. He had to stand up and stand out to get recognition. He was the leader, the one people relied on, never allowed to be vulnerable or break character. But if Logan found someone he could rely on, who he saw as an equal...

Maybe Steve has more to learn than just the technology in this new era.

[aria-hannah]

For Crystal Week 2024 Day 2 - Family | Friends

I wanna talk about the differences in Crystal's family vs her friends.

Emotional Distance:

Crystal is not close with her parents, even outside of the present day when a flashback is shown that both includes and discusses them, they are distant from her, and as she puts it "[They] won't say shit. They don't even--" The most likely way that sentence was going to end was with care. Crystal with her memories fully believes that her parents will not care if she's getting into drugs at a party, a far cry from the memory less Crystal who worries through much of the series that her parents would obviously be missing her and worried. She gets a very harsh awakening when she remembers enough to call them only for her mother Maddy to not pay any attention to the phone call and then pass her off to her father Seth. Seth then goes on to reveal that they hadn't even noticed she was missing and further still claims she is "always so dramatic" when she points out she has been missing.

Crystal's ancestors are more of a middle ground here, they are not particularly close given that she's really only met and interacted with them twice. But there is some emotional support provided by them when Iris advises Crystal that she will always have her powers connecting her to her ancestors and nothing can take that away.

Crystal's closeness with her friends varies but she is still closer to all of them by the end of the series than she is to any of her family. Even what we see of her in the flashback with Emma shows her having fun running through the cemetary together and offering a flower to her, we do not get to see any of this kind of joy with her family. From the very first episode Charles encourages her to open up to himself and Edwin, and she does bit by bit. While she is still clearly closer with Charles, as he also opens up to her more, she still develops a solid friendship with Edwin to the point where they can now be jokingly snarky with each other rather than actually fighting. As seen in the last episode where Crystal tells him she could "get used to this nicer, funnier Edwin" and he responds with "Not a chance in hell" before she smiles and nods and shakes his hand. As soon as she really starts interacting with Niko in episode 2 she starts opening up to her because she relates to the loneliness Niko feels while also wishing that she had that connection to family that Niko had but had put to the side in her grief. Even with Jenny, who tries to keep some distance from pretty much everyone, from episode 1 Crystal opens up to her about how she's feeling about the boys and David without including the supernatural details. Jenny keeps checking in with Crystal to make sure she's alright throughout the series in spite of how annoyed she sometimes gets with her, even checking to make sure Crystal will be alright outside on her own while she and Niko go to answer the police's questions about Maxine, a time when it would be fully understandable if she didn't have the energy to look out for anyone else. In time Jenny admits to Crystal that she cares about her when she follows her to the abandoned roller rink to confront David.

Physical Distance:

Crystal is always shown physically separated from her parents. Even putting aside that they are an ocean away, in the flashback they appear in, they are standing in the doorway away from where Crystal is. We never get a shot where all three are on screen at the same time. While we do get shots of Maddy and Seth on screen together, they are often not touching or even looking at each other either, which could indicate some distance between them also.

Crystal also has a lot of physical distance from her ancestors. In the one shot they are all on screen together she is shown standing away from the table. Unlike with her parents she does make physical contact with Iris at least. The first occassion is when Iris is holding her hands but still standing a bit away and is reassuring her of her connection to her family and her power. The second occassion is when Iris lays her hand across Crystal's to lend her more power as she buries David. Immediately after burying David all of her ancestors start heading away and back to the table as Crystal collapses to the ground tired and a bit freaked out about what she just did. Even Iris just gives her a few words but does not offer her a hand up or any physical reassurance at this point. The seating arrangement of the table is something I also find interesting as there are actually empty chairs between each of the sitting ancestors except for Iris, as she sits at the head of the table directly next to 2 of them. Placing them at something of a distance from each other, though we do see one of them (dressed in what appears to be 1920s fashion) reach over the empty chair between herself and another to hold onto her arm when Crystal first arrives. So they're currently at a distance but not opposed to reaching out to her and each other at times.

Crystal does not maintain a lot of physical distance with her friends. When she is shown running through the graveyard with Emma, they are hand in hand. In the very first episode when she tries to reassure Edwin that the case does matter to her as well and this isn't just a game to her, she takes his hand, interestingly this is the first physical contact we see her choose to establish with either of the boys. She progressively gets closer to each of her friends. By the end of episode 8 she has exchanged hugs with all of her friends, including Edwin, though he does not return it as he is still uncomfortable with most people touching him. Her hug with Edwin is also notable because it is something she does out of pure joy from him accepting her as part of the agency, rather than a goodbye hug as with Niko and Jenny or a thanks and reassurance hug as with Charles. Her friends also are physically close to each other (with the exception of Emma), Charles and Edwin are often physically close to each other, looking to each other and moving in sync. Niko and Edwin likewise have a physical closeness and some syncronicity to their movements. That they demonstrate this closeness with each other encourages Crystal to become closer to them also. Interestingly the little head snuggle between Crystal does during her hug with Niko echoes the same kind of head snuggle Charles does with Edwin in episode 5.

[therebecreatures]

I actually both really respect and admire Strauss as a character, and how the team as whole reacts to her. When we first see her, she is obviously the enemy. She's the eyes hovering over their shoulders while they work the case, and they're mean and resentful of her presence while waiting for word of Hotch and when/if he's coming back after he's suspended. But meanwhile Strauss is offering him a good job in white collar crime that while maybe not as fulfilling as the BAU is a good, local job that will get him home to his wife and baby at a reasonable time, pretty much every day. But the team is so codependant, so intertwined, and he couldn't leave them as much as they couldn't let him leave. All of them continuously asking each other if they have news, and Morgan calling over and over.

And again when Hotch is basically on trial following Foyet's death, when all of the team are separated and questioned, and all of them are angry, and defensive with her basically badgering them to say it was Hotch's fault, while they all go practically rabid to share the the blame, but then at the end it show's her questioning Hotch with a board of others, and after he gives his testimony, and assures that Foyet wouldn't have stopped without killing Jack, she doesn't question it further and says that's good enough for her and lays it to rest officially.

Then she goes to Hotch's personally and says she pulled some strings and got Hotch early retirement with really good benefits so he's taken care of and he can just focus on Jack and grieving, and she's genuinely trying to give him a good out and is surprised that he needs time to think about it when she thought it'd be a done deal.

And she's mad at JJ for not immediately jumping at the Pentagon, and at Hotch for not encouraging her to leave the team to go do it because its such a good career opportunity for JJ and she legitimately doesn't understand why JJ would pass it over.

Like she is trying to take care of them in her own way, and is essentially a wall between the higher ups and the team, but she's just higher up, just enough of an outsider, that she's always considered the enemy by the close knit team and its such a fascinating dynamic. And I'm not even touching on all of it

[ponyregrets]

I wanted to write about Buck and Eddie going in the ocean and I'd written most of it before I thought to check what the weather in LA is actually like right now (look, I'm in New England, I just think of it as Warm down there, okay?) and I decided to go with it anyway. as @frightfullytreeish said, get chilly, idiots

(806 coda, 1900 words, also on AO3)

"Hey, what brings you joy?"

Eddie is expecting some waffling in Buck's response. Maybe some suspicion. It's a weird thing to ask, obviously. Joy isn't a word he uses much, isn't a go-to. But even if what makes you happy is a more normal question, it's not right. He needs something deeper.

And of course there's the Tommy of it all. Buck hasn't exactly been mourning or anything, but he's obviously down. It wouldn't be unreasonable for him to say that nothing is bringing him joy at the moment. It's not a particularly joyful time.

But Buck doesn't hesitate, doesn't question. He just says, "The ocean," and doesn't even ask why Eddie wants to know.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I never saw it until I left Hershey. We never went to the beach or anything when I was a kid. The first time I saw it, I fell in love. It was the best thing I'd ever seen."

"I didn't know that."

Buck shrugs. "Doesn't come up that much. And I guess I always think I'll get used to it? But it's amazing every time. I never get tired of it."

He should have known, right? They've gone to the ocean together. Or--well, they've had calls near the water before. That guy who got struck by lightning. The shark.

The tsunami.

But they've never just gone. Buck has never tagged along with him and Chris on any of their trips, and he and Buck have no reason to just take a beach day together.

Joy doesn't need a reason, right? He can just do it.

"Cool," says Eddie. "Let's go."

"Now?"

"What else are we doing?"

It hasn't been a problem, exactly, their lack of things to do. It's just kind of new, the way they're hanging out in the last week. Usually they have Chris, or girlfriends, or boyfriends. They have some reason to stop being together, and now they just…don't. And Buck just keeps on coming over, hanging out on Eddie's couch, in his space, like he can't bear to be in his loft now that Tommy isn't there.

Or something.

"You got some trunks I can borrow?" Buck asks.

"Are we swimming?"

"You want to go to the beach and not swim?"

Most of the time, that's what he does. When Chris was younger he'd get in the water, but the last few years it's been Eddie supervising while Chris does his own thing far enough away that it doesn't look like he's being supervised.

But Chris is in Texas. And, yeah, it's November, but Buck doesn't seem to care.

"I'll see what I've got," he says and finds he has two pairs of trunks in good enough shape that he's not embarrassed about anyone wearing them. Small miracles.

He throws the bigger pair to Buck and then goes to change in his bedroom. Buck will be doing the same thing in the bathroom, not for the first time, but he's never been changing into Eddie's trunks before. Did Ana ever wear anything of his? Marisol didn't. Buck might be the first person since Shannon.

As long as they fit, it's fine. Not a big deal at all.

They take Buck's car, the podcast he's listening to about the issues with the keto diet resuming as soon as he turns it on. Hen has gotten tired of explaining why his diets might be a problem herself and is outsourcing, which Eddie can't blame her for, but he doesn't find the resources nearly as interesting as Buck does. He already knows he doesn't want to do keto.

"You don't need to cheer me up, you know," Buck says, about halfway to the beach, without bothering to pause the keto thing. "I'm doing okay."

"I know."

It's mostly true. Buck has seemed fine with the breakup. Not happy, but not heartbroken either. He's been a little quiet about it, more so than Eddie was expecting. All he'll say is that Tommy initiated it, but he understands why.

"I'm trying to be happier," he tells Buck. "For me."

"Is that a thing you can try? Like, aren't you just happy or not?"

"If that was true, the ocean wouldn't bring you joy, right?" He lets out a breath, his stomach tied in inconvenient knots. "Someone pointed out that when I had the choice between something that would make me happy and something that wouldn't, I picked the one that wouldn't."

Buck mulls this over for a long moment. "I always figured that's because you're more mature than I am." It's only half a joke.

"Yeah, that's one way of looking at it." His breath shudders more this time. "Anyway. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm looking for things that bring me joy. So I figure if the ocean does that for you, maybe it'll do it for me, too."

"I hope so."

They set up like Eddie would with Chris, towels and belongings planted in the sand, the only difference that they left their phones in the car since no one is staying behind. He keeps his back turned as they shed the layers of clothing they have on, but when Buck hands him a tube of sunscreen, he has no choice but to stare at the expanse of bare back. The motions are familiar, nothing he hasn't done a thousand times for Chris, but…

Well, he's never done it for Buck.

Buck makes him turn around so he can return the favor, a much less familiar process. These days, he usually leaves his shirt on.

But he knows Buck's hands. They're familiar, all heat and callus. Careful, incongruously so. Buck looks like he's built clumsy, someone who can't do delicate work, and maybe he knows that too. Like happiness to Eddie, precision doesn't come naturally to Buck. He has to put the effort in, and he does. Eddie's skin lights up with every stroke of Buck's hands, so he's sure that Buck gets every inch.

And then he keeps going a little longer. Just to make sure.

"Okay," says Buck at last. "We're good to go."

Eddie is expecting Buck to run into the ocean like an overgrown puppy, all bright enthusiasm despite the chill, but he's cautious. He dips a toe in, then his foot, then the other. He walks in slowly enough that Eddie overtakes him, even though he's not running. He's just eager.

"The first time I went into the ocean, I was in Virginia Beach," Buck explains without making Eddie ask. "It was May, and I thought it would be warm enough, it was a hot May. But I ran in and it was so cold. I ran right back out."

"Goes to show," says Eddie.

"What, exactly? I know how the water's going to be today. It's cold."

The water is probably around the same temperature as it was in Virginia Beach in May. Eddie shivers, but doesn't stop, not until he's up past his knees. He smiles at Buck, who's still just letting the waves lap his toes. "Yeah, it's nice anyway. It's hot out."

"Not hot enough."

"It's fine."

He's in up to his ankles now. "You're not getting the joy, though."

"I am."

"Eddie."

"I'm getting used to it."

"You're not supposed to get used to it. You're supposed to be be making choices that make you happy right away, right?"

"I am happy," he says again, and it doesn't feel like a lie. "It's nice, there's no one else here. And it's not cold enough for us to get hypothermia."

"Are you sure this isn't just for me?" Eddie cocks his head, and Buck clarifies, "For my benefit."

"Should it be?"

Buck kicks at a wave. "He said I wasn't ready. Tommy. That's why he broke up with me. I asked him to move in with me, and he broke it off instead."

"So he's an idiot," Eddie says. "Always knew there was a chance, but I was hoping I was wrong."

"Is he, though? Was he wrong? I didn't really want him to move in. I just wanted…" He huffs. "I want to be done with this, you know? I'm ready to be with someone. And I think it could have been him."

It's not like getting shot, or even like getting punched. It's like a bullet or a fist going past him, close enough to graze the skin. Close enough that he's thinking about how much it could have hurt.

"But that's shitty, right? Like, how long could I have kepg going just because I didn't have a reason to break up with him? He was…fun. I liked him. I liked feeling like I'd figured it out. Like that was the last piece. I like guys too."

"Maybe it was," Eddie says. The water is lapping against his legs, the surf gentle. He's used to the temperature where he's submerged, but it's only halfway up his thighs. Every time the droplets splash higher, there's this shock of sharp little pinpricks.

He's so fucking happy.

"Maybe that was the last piece, but that doesn't mean Tommy is it. Maybe you're ready, but you're not ready for him."

"I'm just tired," says Buck. "I'm tired of waiting for someone to want me enough, you know? I'm ready to settle."

"You shouldn't," says Eddie. "You shouldn't be with someone just to be with anyone."

"You can build it," he argues, like Chris angling for a later bedtime or more video games before homework. "Love. Like you and Shannon did."

Nausea roils his stomach. "We didn't. It wasn't like that."

"I know it wasn't perfect, but you two were working on it. You were going to--"

"She wanted a divorce. Before she died. That was one of the last things she told me. We weren't going to have another kid, we weren't going to get married again, we weren't going to be together." He's not crying, but in that way where he is very aware that he's not crying. Where Not Crying is currently defining his existence. "I think we could have been friends," he says. "And maybe we could have figured it out. Been together again, made it good. That's what I told myself. And that's…easy."

"Easy?" Buck asks, in a small voice. Like Eddie is telling him a fairy tale he wishes could be true.

Which Eddie is, actually.

"If she was the love of my life and I lost her, then that was it. No one else would ever measure up. Nothing else could ever be as good. It was never going to work."

"But she wasn't?"

"Maybe she was. Or maybe--" He's Not Crying. "Maybe I don't just get one love, or even just one life. Maybe it doesn't have to be about finding her again. It can be about finding someone new. Someone who…"

He chokes then, the words dying in his throat. Buck is dazzling in the sunlight, his eyes as blue as the sea, his expression open, waiting. His whole existence focused on Eddie.

Eddie would marry him today. Eddie would marry him tomorrow, Eddie would marry him yesterday. Eddie would tie himself to Buck in any way Buck could think of, in every way, with wills, with contracts, with mortgages, with handcuffs, with string.

"Someone who brings me joy," he finishes.

"Joy," says Buck. He looks over the horizon, smiles, shakes his head.

Eddie's chest is too small and too big. He's never had so much in him.

"I've never had that," he muses. "Someone who makes me feel like the ocean."

"Like the ocean," Eddie says. "Yeah."

[darklinaforever]

What hatred ? I share my opinion on my tumblr without insulting anyone ? You have to stop messing around after a while.

I have nothing against the people who ship them. Except for a certain category, that is to say, those who refuse to recognize the canon, but in itself, those who ship in pure fanon I don't care. And anyway, I haven't even talked about that category here. I simply shared my personal incomprehension very quickly and you call that hatred ? Really ?

For your information, I don't understand the ship, not only because this marriage was an arranged marriage done out of duty. Children were also a duty in this relationship. And they were never in love. I still remind you that at GRRM one of the global messages is that duty is the death of love and that that is not at all a good thing. Overall, this type of union is not to be envied for the majority.

So for me, the fact that they are married and have children represents nothing in terms of ship.

And as I already said in the comments, what bothers me the most about this ship is that most / majority actually hate Rhaegar (or him with Lyanna or only Lyanna), trying to paint him (or Lyanna) as the worst man (woman) ever. So there is a huge contradiction for me among the shippers, in addition to quite mysogynistic remarks.

So there are Rhaegar & Elia (Rhaelia) shippers that exist ? For true... ?

The asoiaf fandom never stop to surprise me...