#// why is life so hard rn .. womp womp

[cemeterysgirl]

gonna get some breakfast n apply for more jobs womp womp buuuut give this post a like if i can throw smth short n probably not sweet ur way afterwards < 3

[osaemu]

life update under the cut bc this is a blog and people talk about their lives on their blogs!

omg okay so its only wednesday but I SWEAR ITS BEEN A WEEK SINCE THE WEEKEND. i have a five-slide presentation due at midnight that i havent started ((its 7:30 pm here)) and math homework due tmrw and im procrastinating bc i dont wanna do them 😭😭

ummm i have to make my queue post and then my mutuals post sometime soon. maybe ill do a selfship one too when my comms are done!! comms meaning art comms from other people but im writing in exchange so i have to do those too. maybe ill open writing comms for money whenever i set up paypal or something idk

kinda sucks that we finally got topless gojo but not the way we wanted it LMFAO,, sorry gojo nation. i would be devastated but dazai my number one pookie bear had the best day ever today so..... womp womp. also chuuya was so cute n silly in todays episode so i just cant bring myself to be sad rn lol

i think its funny how i stay up until 2 am most nights willingly and i dont drink coffee or energy drinks at all. im just built different!!

oohhhh i wanna talk about my irl friends rn. so irl whose codename is gonna be link on here is super cute n silly, she also writes fanfic but not nearly as often as i do. shes an ao3 girlie and shes super into zelda and thinks i write too much lmao which is probably true.

codename elsa is literally gorgeous. perfect breathtaking amazing in every way possible. shes a year older than me and i love her sm!! she thinks dazais very skinny which is true but...... hes my bf (real) (not clickbait)

codename jeanmarco is three years older than me and goes to berkeley :D theyre super fun to talk to and i cant wait for them to come back n visit!! i told them about the bsd and jjk updates today (theyre mostly involved in the aot fandom) and they said they were happy dazai survived bc otherwise i wouldve gone insane :3

honorable mentions: codename cat who got me into jjk (my old crush) left me on delivered for a whole month LMFAO, if it was anyone else they would be blocked but he leaves everyone on delivered so. im trying not to take it personally bc hes sweet but very bad at person-ing edit: he liked my spam post right after i posted this wow i manifested that so hard yall

also codename partay! keeps saying that if i were an animal id be a cat. idk why, i was whistling the other day bc i love whistling and she was like "hannah if you were an animal you'd be a cat".

EVERYONE ON MY SPAM TODAY SAID I LOOKED LIKE RAISIN BREAD TODAY. HOW DO I LOOK LIKE RAISIN BREAD.

anyways thanks for reading my life update ima do these more often now lmao!

[storyycool]

Ok so uhh this gotta be one of the worst possible websites to vent on but if ur seeing this please just scroll ik it’s probably gonna be cringy but im NOT in a great mood rn

ok so I’m in hs now and I haven’t been able to sleep all night tonight for some reason and that really fucking sucks because I have 4 different 2 hour blocks where I have to do very complicated work for the entire 2 hours with no break and no support in the slightest. I’m supposed to be one of the “smart kids” but in reality I’m fucking retarded, everyone just overestimates me because I’m quiet and I was in the gifted program. I think a lot of times people in my school forget that I’m a real person, it also kinda just feels like no matter where I go everyone always sees me as something I’m not no matter what that might be. Today a kid complimented me and I was genuinely shocked and confused because why would someone ever want to be nice to me? Im never nice to anyone and I look fucking disgusting, I have no real personality, I’m extremely lazy like so fucking lazy I don’t even wanna get out of bed most days and I know I’m not depressed because if I were depressed than I would have been diagnosed with it already. The truth is there’s nothing mentally wrong with me. I’m just causing problems for myself over and over again and then crying when everyone hates me because I’m always causing problems. If I was really suffering, someone would have noticed by now and maybe asked me if I was okay. I go to school everyday and barely talk to anyone unless they talk to me first. I have no friends, I sit alone every day, and people avoid me like the plague. And I’m not even gonna act like it’s not my fault because it 100% is, I just don’t know what I need to do to fix myself. I’ve been trying but I haven’t tried hard enough, every time I think I’m doing better I end up doing worse, I’m a disappointment to everyone and serve no purpose in this world. I have no hopes, dreams, ambitions, life goals, or anything. I just wanna graduate get a decent paying job that I fucking hate and work that job until I can finally die and all of this will be over. I’m crying and I don’t even know why. Why the fuck would I be crying over problems I literally fucking caused? It actually makes me wanna throw up when I see my disgusting fatass barely even a human self crying in the mirror with my face all red so my acne shows up better. I’m so so so so fucking disgusting oh my god I don’t wanna live with myself knowing everything I’ve done that I can never undo. I’ve destroyed so many peoples lives and I can never forgive myself for that. Unfortunately, with my situation, I literally have to live because literally everything I’ve tried hasn’t been enough to kill me. There’s actually no way in hell I should be alive right now, I have de ere brain damage and I can physically feel my brain cells decreasing and turning into slime and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It hurts so fucking bad. Every night when I go to bed I have a different dream where I die in it and each time my body just slowly turns into this weird disgusting slimy substance and I feel like it’s happening in real life too. Tonight I just wanted to get a few assignments done since I couldn’t sleep anyway but I just straight up started having a mental breakdown as soon as I clicked on an assignment. I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through tomorrow and I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through the rest of my life completely alone. It doesn’t matter how many drugs I take, how much therapy I get, any of that stuff, because it’s never gonna change the way my brain works. I’m not gonna try to blame the things I’m doing on any sort of illness, I blame it all on myself. By the way, I’m a dramatic ass bitch so please don’t take any of this too seriously, honestly my life isn’t even that bad just sometimes it really fucking sucks. And also I swear to god if one single person says womp womp I’m ending it all and that isn’t a joke.

[shenashygans]

[photo is irr🐘]

THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY -29- (2nd time)

why 2nd time? the first one did not post. and it was not saved, too. ugh. it's Sunday! so i have to do this. it's not that i don't want to do it.. it's just that, i keep in forgetting hehe. another TSC from yours truly~

CURRENTLY

Reading

8/13 and I'm still on a reading slump. womp womp womp~

Writing

TSC 29.. again *sigh*

Listening

to lobby music. it makes you feel sleepy, but it's too loud to keep you awake

Thinking

about what my roomie said to me the other day. she poured her thoughts out about me moving, and she felt I'm leaving her behind. i am not. I'm just leaving...first? that's all. she said she doesn't get it why I'm doing this. maybe she doesn't get me at all? she's just not used to being alone that's why. and besides, she's going to leave me eventually? I'm just getting a head start. I'm not going to pause my life or happiness for some selfish reason. i know we've been friends for 9 years, and it's really hard for her to accept the fact that i really am happy.

Smelling

nothing:( i miss my perfume :((

Wishing

for better days ahead. smooth transition. i wish for my roomie's peace of mind. i wish she'd understand my situation, she's been here before. i wish she could just be happy for me. i wish she won't miss me that much or be sad when I'm gone. i wish, well I know, she can make it on her own. i wish she won't get sick, too.

Hoping

i hope my roomie is not contradicting me. i hope she's not wishing for me to fail just for her to say, "i told u so" :( i hope she would trust me to make my own grown up decisions. if i fail or get hurt, it's up to me. i hope that in time she'll forgive me.

Wearing

always incomplete uniform

Wanting

to move out fast. i want to move to Dubai. like, rn? but i cannot. i still have 2 weeks left, i think? i want to pack all my stuff already. i want to move to our new home, stay in our new room, sleep in our new bed. sigh. few more days 'til i sleep & wake up next to the loml üwü

Needing

an 8-hour nap? lol. i need to catch up on my Zzz's. been sleeping late & waking up too early. i need a vacation from work. oh, wait. soon! hahahaha

Loving

the fan i borrowed from the jowa. saved me from having heatstrokes in my own reception. loving the fact that I'm just counting the days 'til we move in together. can't wait!

Feeling

sick? idk. my head hurts rn so I'm feeling sick. i drank 2 Panadols already. gahd. i feel sleepy, too. but I can't sleep. idk.

Manifesting

NEW JOB. HIGH SALARY. FINANCIAL ABUNDANCE. GOOD HEALTH. HAPPY LOVE & SEX LIFE ✨

that's all folks! ;)

[current-interest-writings]

The Importance of a Name

Mano x female Reader

Summary: Y/N knows the child needs a name. but she needs the love of her life to agree with her. and Y/N swears if he doesn't help her come up with one she will take the breastplate of his armor and beat him with it.

 Reader Pov

Din and I have been together for three years. and have been married for the last year and a half, and he can take the helmet off in front of you, it's rare but you follow the rules of the four: meals, shower, sex, and sleeping. he can remove it when he wants to but you never push him to do so. 

but when he was telling you he had to turn in the child you wanted him to remove the helmet so you could slap him for it. and he knew you were upset about it. “ we have to, we need money.” I was glaring at him but the small coo from the floating pram. the large eyes and ears.

glaring at the back Din’s head while you are heading back to Navaro, you hated what Din was about to do but you know you need the money but you wish there was another way to make the money that did not involve turning the kid in.

when finally landing you walked with din looking at the child who looked around at everything. obviously, he hasn’t seen much in his 50 years. mando and I walked to the client's door and you followed inside, you nearly snapped at the trooper who roughly grabbed the pram. and I tried to look devoid of emotion when you saw them take the child into the back. my heart lurched when I heard his small cry. and you couldn’t help yourself “ what are you going to do with it?” the client gave you a strange look “ we hired the guild to prevent people asking questions, let alone a female bounty hunter” he snapped at me and i could see Din’s hand clench and then he grabbed mine and we left, I felt my heartbreak the further we got away from where you two dropped off the child. 

as mando and I walked to see the armor to give her the beskar and make a new cast for Din. you watched as Din kneeled and watched the armor make the new cast. Din had turned down the signet of the mudhorn because the child had helped him, and the enemy is helpful. after the cast was made you couldn’t look at him rn. 

I walked back to the crest, at least there you can try and figure a way to convince him to go and get the child back. but when he got back with another puck you weren't happy and he could tell and you knew that. but he signed and turned around “ we are going back for him” and I let out the biggest smile and grabbed you beskar chest plate. you were not a Mandalorian but you were given one for extra protection a way to make your husband feel better. 

Din and I ran into the place after blasting it open after killing many troopers and grabbing the child from the scientist. and now you were stuck caught between eight troopers. but Din used a few of the whistling birds and you shot the others.you two ran out only to be surrounded by bounty hunters many that you knew. but now they are out to kill me, my husband and the innocent child.

you and din were in a cart deciding the best way out, surrounded by all of the bounty hunters on Navaro. it wasn't easy to get out and you two know this. but after the Mandalorians show up and give you a way out. you and mando are now fugitives of the guild.

but din and I have been planet jumping for supplies and jobs to make money. but you have the child so one of you always stays behind. you had been trying to find a name for the child but not knowing his race is hard. and your husband wasn't making it easy. 

“ Din the love of my life we need to name the child”

“why?”

“ because calling him baby, the child, and you cannot keep calling him womp rat”

he sighed and turned to look at me

“ what names are you thinking of?” 

you smiled and looked at him

“ well, we could always name him after you? having a little Din Jr.”

he tilted his head in the helmet.

“how about we don't do that and we think of something better”

you gave him a look saying you give it a shot

“Jarik or Javen how about even juntah?” 

you were shocked by his choices but very impressed. 

“I do like the sound of Jarik or Javen Djarin”

“ well then you can pick between the two of them” 

I nodded and went down to where we had the child. and of course, he was already awake and looking for you. I smiled looking at him “ now little on telling me which one you like more” he chirped at you “Jarik” he gave a low chirp and you took that as a no “Javen” and he titled his head and gave a loud chirp. and I smiled “ well look at the three of us Din Djarin, Y/N Djarin, and Javen Djarin. a little family of wanted “criminals”” little Javen gave a giggle and you couldn’t help but smile and Din came down “ do we have a name” i picked up the child and turned to look at Din “ well meet little Javen Djarin. “ you waved at Din and Javen followed your actions.

it was a sweet moment of the little Djarin clan.

[thebottomoftheapple]

Can’t sleep so...

you know what time it is … (4:35AM)

Time to write.

I’m officially a senior. Wow. lmaoooo how?? idk

Well academically I def took multiple major Ls but tbh I’m not even affected by it anymore (jk i def almost cried when one mf dead came at my life wow). It’s fine. GPA dead doesn’t matter, experience is 🔑, which brings me to my next announcement. I got an internship in Atlanta!! (I def found out in January though lol) Yay! The company does pretty lit shit but they have no type of social media presence which is kinda sus but they def exist so it’s ok lmao. But yeah, hopefully it’s a good learning experience, if not umm I’m def getting my neo to pmo to her brother so her can pmo to a job cause he be schlittyyyy in ATL doing things in my field so I’m excited for that. I didn’t get a scholarship though (womp womp) 🙄 so I’ll be staying with Tio edwin, which sucks cause it’s not my own place and it’s highkey mad deep from the actual city and my internship but whatever it’s free plus home-cooked meals so I’ll be aight. Also I’m driving down there the first weekend of June but ?? how exactly 🙃 Something I’ll figure out later. Hennyways, to rewind a little, yes I have neos now, which is cool I guess. They def make me feel washed but they also take the pressure off me and my line so *shrug* I like them. They also might be the last ones yikes… we’ll see. What else has happened this semester… squad was def beefing but we’re good. I dead love them like that’s definitely family even though they do get me tight sometimes 💚 I got closer to my UG herms (reasons why squad was beefing tbh lmao) We (plus friends) went to Miami, my first real spring break trip, and it was def memorable to say the least lol. I can’t wait to go with squad (plus friends) next year 😩😩 wow I can’t believe this is almost over, like for real. As much as I’ve grown to despise Syracuse, I definitely can’t picture life without it, life after it, which is so sad lmao but everything good must come to an end. In the meantime, I just have to make the most out of this year coming up.

Speaking of….. besides summer in ATL, which is gonna be very different and rewarding hopefully (eh heh get this offer you shnooww) I’m def gonna have OD city FOMO 😭 Especially bc of how lit I was last year (RIP neo summer 😪) ((Also a bitch needs to get fit down there) Also i hope I get a job too bc wtf a bitch needs money forrrrr) ABROAD! Haannn, London Fall 2017 lit! I leave August 28th and come back in December so that’s going to be crazy, very excited for that and our “black london” group seems lit af so it’s definitely going to be an amazing experience 😭😭 And after that I come back for my last semester of college at CUSE *more tears* but if my schedules works out, I’m def going to be dumb lit to end off my college career > Alright let’s not think about that anymore. 

**Also I will be living in a house for the first time ever that semester^^ so that’s exciting**

Back to today - I went to Black Graduation today and it was actually really nice, I def almost teared up smh. My dad, katy, and linesissys are leaving me 😭😭😭 (I’m leaving too kinda but still I’m gonna come back to the chappy like omg 😫) And I packed up most of my room (currently sitting in it now in the dark) and I def a nostalgic moment of when I first moved in here 😭😭 wow I hate how much of a sentimental bitch I am lmaoo. But yeah wow life is really flying by and I still feel like a little kid (pretending to be grown) 

I haven’t reflected on here in a while (what is new) but yeah I’ve been lowkey mad emotional these last couple months (tbh all semester). Mainly about the relationships I have with people. I can’t please everyone and I definitely experienced that first hand this semester. I need to learn how to say “no” more often (which I kinda have but I don’t want ppl to think I’m a selfish bitch 😩 but it’s necessary) I also need to get back to being more personable, that’s prolly not the word I’m looking for, but yeah I dead be a dry ass bitch to people I shouldn’t be but a lot of that was due to the immense amount of stress and beef that I had going on lol but still I suck 😐 But it’s gotten better so that’s all that matters. 

Speaking of being a dry ass bitch ummmm lol no new P in sight 🙂 Awesome. (no old P either hahaha🙂🙂)  lmao but na deadass I’m dead popping. My hair flourishing (thank you biotin) , my skin fluctuates (also thanks biotin) but when it’s good, it’s GOOD (knock on fucking wood bc it’s good rn) A bitch bout to get this chicken, too 👏🏽 (lmao hopefully) I just need to drop a couple pounds, do some dead lifts and I’m lit forever. No but deadass, just eat my butt and talk to me nice.. it’s not that hard.. but everyone here ain’t shit so *shrug* my(his) time will come 😊

Alright it’s not 5:48, it’s still pouring, the sun is coming up, and I have to be up at 8 for Max’ graduation sooooo goodnight! HOPEfully I write again soon.

- Keeks

*Soundtrack: Every Frank Ocean song on my phone lmao

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}

Read more: http://ift.tt/2j2Vyy9

from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine