#// this is gonna go into effect soon but
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return of my funniest fella
#my art#oc#heretic#illustration#weirdfur#me: no i don't really paint#me as soon as i find one (1) painterly brush I like: yeah i'm thinking i'm gonna do nothing but paint#I am cheating colour-wise (using layer effects) but y'know. baby steps#anyway we're gonna go see a kitten next weekend so maybe i'll be showcasing a new friend at some point. perhaps
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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#mmmmm in the middle of the everything that's going on here's a life update from me:#I'm 32 years old and as of tomorrow I'll have been on ramping an SNRI for a week#neurotransmission tuneup#is gonna be my tag for this topic if you're reading this and would benefit from a filter#so far: body feels YUCKY in various ways but some interesting stuff is happening in the brain. so. we will continue to see how this goes#knowing that the side effect onramp was gonna happen and is something you generally gotta weather before knowing if it'll be the right fit#was helpful; but this also is like. wow. the body sure can feel Ways.#I am observing what's going on in here quietly and it's way too soon to say whether this one will stick for me#but. uh. cautiously 🧿 some things are feeling good and maybe even relief- and ease-giving and that's Hope Filled?? 🧿#hhhhhh 🫨 please feel free to wish me good luck or encouragement with this shit! it took a lot for me to get to this point!
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aren't we all at least just a little bit gay for sigourney weaver in alien
#not to discredit her otherwise#but in alien specifically i mean 👀#ripley is just so cool i understand the effect she had on sapphics#like. i get it#yeah i rewatched the first alien movie#cause i'm gonna go see romulus sometime soon
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Mhairi McFarlane
#mass effect#shepley#ashley williams#male shepard#cyrus shepard#was gonna go with a shot on mars where he reaffirms he wants her#but i wanted to include the little bit of me2 in here#the man is straight dedicated to her#spent a disgusting amount of time trying to get his face right in me2#only to realize i don;t even need it for this scene LMAO#soon as i saw that quote i knew i needed to do something for shepley
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hello The Hollow fandom, lemme just-
Ok byeeee!!!
#Cosplay#cosplayer#The Hollow#The Hollow Kai#the hollow netflix#the hollow cosplay#He’s gonna have a fire soon!#My dads 3d printed it#But I needa paint it and put in the light to test it#Then we r prolly gonna have to go thru a few diff models to make sure the light can go through the print#Or make a hole at the top to stick the light in#Idk how good the effect will be tho#Ok I’ll stop rambling about the fire now XD#He’s so silly#i cant believe I actually did a decent wig
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and thus begins the season of 100+ degree heat every single day...
#i will be digging a hole and crawling into it thanks. i will Cover myself with dirt and not come out#the sun is almost completely down and its still over a hundred out. sigh#~its the most wonderful time of the year~#im placing personal bets whether or not itll hit 120 (im strongly betting Yes)#maybe i should go live in antarctica#vibe with penguins. get killed by a leopard seal. you know how it is#instead my options are: the dirt / walk off into the desert and perish#i wake up every morning miserable and sweaty <3 this is so fun <3#so jealous of the puppets rn. they dont have to deal with this#put me on a temperature regulated set bois#my laptop: heat warning in effect#YEAH NO SHIT. HONEY.#gonna need to start using my ceiling fan soon just to get some fuckin Sleep#the ac is not enough during the day#absolutely unprompted#i was wondering 'oh why am i more irritated than normal why am i more fatigued than normal'#OH YEAH. BECAUSE ITS MISERABLE OUT.#melting into a puddle of bog... goo... that's just water. hm.#turning into an actual physical bog#sphagnum and tannins and everything#i wake up. i drag myself out of bed. i sit at my desk and dissolve. rinse and repeat#this has been my routine for Days now <3#i hope yall are having a cooler more tolerable summer!#but given the absolute state of this planet uh! i doubt it! still! i have hope! keep cool guys
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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Body update: it turns out that after about a year (ish) of trying to eat more healthily and avoiding fast food, my body cannot handle some of the meals I used to enjoy anymore
I had a burger last week at DND and was sick, and I thought it was bc the burger particularly greasy, but then when I ordered from my usual place today (less horrendously greasy but still, you know, a fast food burger) I actually kinda stopped enjoying it three bites in and had to put in some effort to finish it x)
Oh well
#Matt has a life#Shit from home#In other news: couldn't do 2x20mn of walking yesterday cause I had to drive to the post office#and driving a motobike is demanding on the knees#but I did one turn today and everything seems fine#gonna do another set later and see how it goes#and if we can keep that up until next week I'll try and see if we can up it to 1x30mn and 1x20mn#The goal being to be able to walk for at least 40mn at a time before I try going to the gym again#at which point I'll use the running machines to try and walk on a gradually increasing incline#... at this point it might actually be a good idea to see a physio#but I don't like the one I visited before -_-#Edit: other posotive effect of better food and regular exercise: I lost about 4kg since dec. 2022 and am now back around 95#which is much more comfortable for me than where I was before#would I complain about going down to 90kg? no#but I'm 34 and planning on having a baby soon so that doesn't sound likely#especially bc like#diets are a myth#and if my body's ideal weight were 100kg that's where I'd be regardless of diet#so we'll see how that goes#I'm fine with where I'm at rn
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bendy straw inventor post was fake ai bullshit. is nothing sacred. must i be faced with falsehoods at every corner
#being baroque for comedic effect but i am actually kinda pissed#it's one thing to make ai “”“art”“” but it's another thing entirely to make shit up to go along with it that you KNOW nobody's#gonna fact check. maybe it's my fault for taking that at face value but a footnote coulda helped. an unreality tag even just ANYTHING#that being said i dont blame who i reblogged it from (i have already forgot who) as i too was taken a fool. shit's getting scary FAST#i suspect regulation soon at the very least. i hope
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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I cannot fucking imagine thinking Blake would be better off with her literal abuser who, reminder, was in his 20s when she was 16, than with Yang. That's disgusting.
#anti rwde#last post of this type for a long while im gonna shift my theme back to the red feather and stuff soon#but i go into the anti rwde tag and bc tumblr is a website i get rwde posts#and theres someone in there genuinely gushing about the idea of adam and blake#like. even if he wasnt shown to be an abusive monster#(and he was)#even if his allusion wasnt gaston#(and it is)#he was still IN HIS TWENTIES dating a TEENAGER#THAT ALONE IS A FUCKING PROBLEM.#besties at that point youre either downplaying the very real effects of abuse like that#or youre just lesbophobic. like straight up.#q'd
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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one
#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin#which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it 👍#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things#i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after#n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them#and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too#it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal#bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens#which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly#urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts#pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that#but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing#after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth#and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens#this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today 💪💪💪 storm passed baby#.diaries
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#I thought I could do this#that I could do college and start doing more#experiencing and living more#I have done so much and so little this year#when I look back despite despite despite#I'm proud of myself#like I really did THAT#I got through everything (:#unscathed of course <3#despite the difficulties that will continue to stay with me#I'm most proud of getting through the day#cause when it doesn't seem like I can somehow I pull though#especially managing/regulating my anxiety!#I stopped taking my medication#of course in a safe and practical way#the side effects are less worse than when I tried to go off last time!!#gonna be dealing with a soon to be problem with school for failing lmao#but I have faith that it'll work out#it has to
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idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just
like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings
but like
I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.
like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.
#red said#the thing my therapist keeps pointing out is like. i got on this adulthood thing WAY too early#metaphorically i have Had To Go To Work In The Morning since i was like. 4. bc i am congenitally incapable of#Not Thinking About Consequences. and it's so important to be Good and Tough and Have It Together#but like. maybe if id done more crying and melting down when i DIDN'T Have To Go To Work In The Morning bc i was a Literal Infant#i might be a more balanced adult now that i actually DO. Have To Go To Work In The Morning.#what do people like. do. when they have to have feelings but also meet adult responsibilities? impossible. gotta choose.#i think it doesn't help that i already really struggle to work a full time job. like I'm already late basically every day bc i a night guy#so it's like. there's no give in this. maybe if i was back into a 3-4 day week? but idk if i can afford that#but also the work is only partly work. it's also like. having human relationships. eating. washing. being a person.#but idk. like. until i have some genuinely open-ended time i think I'm gonna always find it impossible to actually let go#i said in therapy it's like. like sadness specifically is like a thick muddy bog. and i can dip a foot in it#but bc i know i need to be able to keep moving#i can only stick a foot in and deal with a bit of it if I'm holding onto something. so in practise i can only cry#right before it becomes inappropriate to cry. so like. end of a therapy session. heading to a train station after seeing someone.#that kind of thing. it's a safety thing.#it would be much more effectively Dealing With to go dive into the bog and plough through it#but I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE and i have to like. come out all muddy and deal with that#and there's always somewhere i gotta be soon. i can't just jump into the mud. not cause I'll get hurt i just Don't Have Time#anyway. feelings. how do they work. embarrassed about having them. embarrassed about suppressing them. generally just embarrassed.
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gripping edge of table. in 1.5-2 years i get to point out how much joe has wrong with him. i just need to wait 1.5-2 years. i just need to wait. it's getting so close. everyone is gonna get to see it and its going to be awesome. its going to be so cool. and worth the wait. i gotta wait. *visibly shaking and crying*
#some day. some day soon even (soon being 2 years). i wont have to shut up about him#making stories is so hard.#im on the floor. sobbing. why did i have to get attached to the guy whose entire arc is major spoilers#honestly his arc ISNT major spoilers. he's a guy that is full of every repressed emotion#and some day he's gonna let it out and kill everyone and thats his god damn right#the part i CANT talk about is what specifically makes him snap#ive mentioned vaguely a couple times joe disappears. i cant fucking talk about why or how!!!!!!!#the how is so important to everyone else's character arcs its such a disservice to the story to#talk about it now. ***BUT IM GOING TO COMBUST***#joe and his stupid fucking disappearance and its stupid fucking domino effect I'll kill him#OTL i love him so much
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