#// smol orphan son

[violetjedisylveon]

I had a spicynoodles idea last night

It's basically just them in Tangled

LBD is Mother Gothal obvi, MK is Rapunzal and Red Son is Flynn.

Maybe Mei can be Pascal but a tiny dragon instead? Or she's Maximas but badass horse dragon.

King and Queen(I don't think they have names) can is Shadowpeach.

Suggestion from @frikijedai, Freenoodles run the ugly duckling bar place, and I really like that.

I think it also works with Red Son as Rapunzal and MK as Flynn but Red Son doesn't seem like the type to take LBD's bs as much. He does have the hair for it tho

Important Update!

I'm going with the Red Son as Rapunzal version, @py-dreamer had some really good ideas + I get to draw Red Son with really long, fluffy hair.

MK works good as Flynn because he can fit Flynn's story pretty well, an orphan inspired by a popular character in a story he told all the other kids and makes a new image for himself based on that hero.

Mei is a smol dragon that is constantly teasing the boys, she's kinda like the dragon from the Barbie Rapunzal movie, maybe she can turn into a humanoid form but prefers or is stuck in ity bity dragon form.

LBD definitely knows about Mei here but since she's very smol and seemingly insignificant, LBD doesn't give a shit about her, + she keeps Red Son from bugging her too much.

Freenoodles still run the ugly duckling tavern/restaurant thing like in the suggestion from @frikijedai.

The Mayor is still LBD's assistant, I thought about him being the small old man from the tavern but nah.

This isn't strictly sticking to the Tangled story, it's more Tangled + fairytale inspired AU, it has the same major plot points but the details are a bit different.

Red Son's power does not come from his hair, he has the power in him. His hair will glow and hest up when he says the incantation, and he can send the fire through it + it catches fire when he gets too emotional. So his hair is a better weapon cause it can burn people. If it gets cut its very flammable.

MK is still a monkey.

Update 2!

The more I work on this the less it sticks to the Tangled story

Update 3:

Here's the au Masterpost that has everything on it

https://www.tumblr.com/violetjedisylveon/738165406467063808/spicynoodles-tangled-au-masterpost?source=share

[mushroom-winners-proof]

Kyckgxfjtj I have so little people to share my head canons with- I probably already shoved you in here but I’m shoving you again into my lil friends folder mentally >:))))

I don’t have too many tbh but here they are:

1 isa and aqua are siblings (we all know Eraqus just picked up aqua from the side of the road- she has to have some sort of family and we know KH characters have world hopped without being keyblade wielders like smol kairi from RG to DI)

2 Sora- has to have more tanned skinned- bby grew up on a ISLAND- he LOVES the outside- Riku however looks like the light scares his ass- so I understand him being white as fuck

3 Isa had a horrid home life which is why he was in on the whole plan to get subject x out- to get away from his home as much as possible (which ofc he just ended up in a horrible situation with the org and shit)

4 Neptune (KH ml- I’m in a KH discord server just for news on this damn game which there is none) is Iras son and if not then part of his bloodline- KH ml takes place in the time Brain traveled too via the pod which means that there is some people from that era that could exist- isa aqua and ienzo (ik hes a orphan but his parents could still have been apart of the bloodline) are also from this line- this is mainly going off their hair but could also be why isa and ienzo were targeted In becoming nobodies as they have family in their line that have had/have a keyblade

5 I told you this but DR xehanort made candy- especially lollipops-

6 this one ik would never technically be true- but considering YX is the xehanort from DR- Eraqus and xehanort could’ve adopted Terra and sent him to older Eraqus in the land of departure

7 aqua can go in and out of her anti form like Sora can

8 Vanitas contains Ventus’ memory of KH ux

That’s all tbh- lot more than I expected but oh well- god I need the power to come back on so I can bully old man xehanort in KH mom via the boss battle stage cus the field is nightmare inducing

omg what a collection of hcs .... very epic ....

[impossible-rat-babies]

thinkin bout dimitri ya know

[fillsta]

How to explain Les Mis characters to your friends

Enjolras 'Enjy dearest', 'Enj':

Angry blond boy. "Eat the rich". Either gay or aroace. His celebrity crush is Robespierre. He may or may not have a crush on a specific wine lover. Also Aaron Tveit. That's it

Combeferre 'Ferre':

The 'hot' scholar. Rly likes moths I guess. Wears glasses bc he's smart and smart ppl wear glasses. Has done nothing wrong, ever. We love him .

Courfeyrac 'Courf':

Everybody's friend. Flirty, fruity bitch. Round and lovable. Possibly in a relationship with either Combeferre or Jehan. Marius' own personal extrovert. Keeps the group together. Portrayed by the Mighty, the Fruity Fra Fee.

Grantaire 'R':

Likes to drink. A lot. Bi bitch, hopelessly in love with a certain blondie. Hold-hands-before-getting-shot-to-death kind of crush. Rly good at history and philosophy. Cynic. Also, fandom decided that he draws<3. Big hobo energy. Ask the fandom about the actor in the 2012 musical and they'll shed tears

Jean Prouvaire 'Jehan':

Ah yes, the softie. Love poetry and playing the flute. Most likely smoke weed. Plant parent. Gender unknown. We love their hippie bullshit. I don't remember the actor's name but he was kinda cute

Bahorel 'Baho':

The fruity gym bro. Enjoys fistfighting. Possibly Feuilly's bf. Man bun and beard. Studies law but doesn't want to be a lawyer. Doodles instead. Gavroche's idol. His celebrity crush is probably Dwayne Johnson or sth.

Feuilly:

IwbavajsbJzkabzjsvs. We love him. He's pure and innocent. Orphan. Makes fans for a living. Really loves the countries of the world. Headcannoned as Polish. Enjolras' fav ho. Wears flannels. I'll stop here because oh boi I can go on for ages

Bossuet/Lesgles:

Bald guy. Wholesome. He's also extremely unlucky and Victor made sure that's his only personality trait. Polyamoryyyy. His bf is Joly, his gf is Musichetta. It's just... Bossuet, you know?

Joly:

Doctor? Yeah, did I mention he's a germaphobe? Poor guy. Eccentric asf. Carries a cane everywhere. Will wake up in the middle of the night to align his bed according to the earth's poles and shit. Yes, he has a bf and gf, as previously mentioned.

Gavroche 'Gav':

Best boiiii. Smol, like, 10-12 yrs old. Savage. Absolutely destroyed Enjolras when in an argument. Also managed to trick a skilled criminal once. Rip, he would have loved Minecraft. Eponine and Azelma's brother. Courfeyrac's instant son. Looks up to Bahorel.

Marius Pontmercy:

The Most Awkward Human Being. Like, fr. Courfeyrac's emotional support introvert. Possibly the only straight here but who knows??? Idk he's kinda close with Courf. Anyway Enj amd Ferre scare him. Especially Ferre. He somehow gets a gf??? Survived

Eponine 'Ponine' Thenardieur

Marius' side ho. Has a crush on him. Bit I think she's gayyyy. Or bi. There's no way she's interested in men only. Anyway, poor. Terrible household situation :(. Feminist. I hope she gets a gf in her second life. R had a smol crush on her but that was just a phase. She deserved better, like everyone.

Cosette Fauchelevent/Valjean:

Marius' main ho (how this guy manages to get bitches is beyond me). Cottagecore goth (is that a thing?). Adopted. Such a sweet gal. Eponine could also be her gf <3.

Montparnasse 'Parnasse':

Ah him. Okay this guy. He is s narcissistic but a good one. One day he looked in the mirror and said 'Wow im hot lets murder people' and so he did exactly that. Said criminal tricked by Gavroche. 'Dandy'. He's so cool I love him sm.

Azelma Thenardieur:

Poor girl doesn't get any development. She's just there. Survived. Is rly cool tho, trust me.

Jean Valjean:

Stole bread and went to jail for 19 years. Villain origin story. Then he stole from a child (which may or may not have been Feuilly but that's another story for another post) and he instantly went good. Became mayor and businessman. One of his employees died so he found her daughter and raised her. Survived for a while. Is supposed to be the protagonist lol. Wholesome grandpa

Inspector Javert 'Jav jav man':

Is his life's goal to arrest Valjean. I say enemies to lovers trope. Starts off as a bitch, tbh.

Fantine:

My poor girl deserved the world. Her bf got her pregnant and fled :(. She gave Cosette over to some strangers to raise her while she worked in a nearby town, sending them money for Cosette's expenses. That's a no no there but ok. Gets fired, becomes a prostitute, dies. So of any of you out there shame sex workers I'll choke u while u sleep.

[sonadink]

Goofy Movie + Sonic au???? or just an excuse to put Sonic and co. in 90's outfits??? :)

No but listen so this is based off Goofy Movie where instead of a father and son roadtrip where they learn about proper communication, Tails is an orphan in a group home and is obsessed with singer/performer Powerline (Sonic). He wins tickets to go see him through a radio contest where he perfomed a funky dance he choreographed himself using his tails to help, but some jealous kids in the group home snitch and the adults decide to take the tickets for themselves. Having had enough of being mistreated, he makes a break for it and plans on meeting Powerline where he's currently performing on the other side of the country.

Ofc, him being a smol baby child he can only get so far before he meets Heart of Gold Rouge who is traveling to see Powerline too. Well, Powerline's bodyguard Knuckles. Tails learns he can at least trust some adults, and thanks to Rouge he gets access to Powerline's show where he accidentally ends up meeting Powerline similar to the movie but salvages the performance with his fly moves. Sonic's so impressed he dances with him and then after the show declares himself Daddyline.

Yes Shadow and Amy are his backup dancers and yeS Blaze is a backup singer YES they are all now Tails' family

[o-wyrmlight]

Not to be rude or anything, but people who hate Custard III because 'he's annoying' is something I just don't understand. From my perspective, Custard III has lived a rather sheltered life under the assumption that he was destined to become a king, but that aside, he's. Idk a child...? And kids can be really fucking annoying sometimes. So sometimes I see people hating on Custard and I just. He's a kid.

I don't stan Custard III because stanning a kid is weird even if they are fictional and I do feel like Custard III can be annoying at times, but. He's a kid. A little baby. A smol strongly-implied orphan child. Like where is his mom? Where's his dad? Where did they go? Is Custard III even mentally mature enough at this point to recognize his situation?

It's 1:17 am and I'm sleepy so this is disorganized but my thoughts on this are disorganized in general so. Too long didn't read Custard III is Son and he deserves hugs and I wish he got more familial interaction with Pure Vanilla. Devsis please it's practically canon that Custard III is grandpa's grandson please just let them talk about things let them get closure aoughhh

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

rating fandom affection terms for characters because i have nothing better to do

favorite character-simple, straight forward, not bad at all, but it lacks spice and a true demonstration of love, 8/10 gets the job done

problematic favorite-a great term, once again straight forward but in this case about the guy in question being acknowledged as a stinky rascal, 10/10

cinnamon roll-its ok, i was never into it bc idc for those types of characters, suffered a sad fate of eventually becoming a term associated with diminishing characters into just their "cute and pure" traits, 2/10 bc i remember it getting really annoying after a while, it being from old fandom times society wants to forget doesnt help its case

smol bean-same feelings as above, but suffered a more tragic fate that its downfall was caused by 30 years old adults attempting to call themselves smol beans, 1/10 i use smol every once in a blue moon

tol-i honestly dont think this was ever put in proper use, it was created to match smol but taller people (in fandom height standards thats anyone above 5'0) do not give off the vibes fandom people need to want to infantalize them, 5/10 for sounding a bit funny

waifu/husbando-i think someone using those to refer to any character at all should be a red flag, 1/10 someone can get more 4 points if their favorite is of age to be called that

best girl/best boy-can be a red flag but can also be used as a term for "whos your favorite from *gender*?" so it gets a mild pass, 4/10

baby boy (baby)-cute! came from a decently funny meme, 7/10 funny to scream out when youre rotating them in your brain

gay baby-im honestly convinced this wasnt used by a single lgbt+ person outside of like, maybe a gay baby jail joke, 0/10 called me a slur

rat-was funny the first fifty times, 6/10 not horrible but after a while it felt like itd meet the same fate as cinnamon roll

komaeda-i do not know how i feel about this, if its used in a conversation itll either be hilarious or be the worst attempt at making a character summary, ???/10

twink-i keep getting flashbacks to the chubby twink fight in that post about the animal crossing owls everytime i hear it, 6/10 i dont know what it means anymore

sexyman-funny term for us, slur for the characters, im confused if this is even an affection term/10

son/daughter-adorable i love seeing this get used for a character who had family issues, 8/10 just very sweet

poor little meow meow-the specific brand of irony is genius, its like watching a victorian woman throw bread crumbs at a starving orphaned homeless child, 9/10 my friend wanted to kill me for calling lancelot from king arthur my meow meow

skrunkly-meow meow but with a bigger brand of pity, truly like seeing a cat who just got out of a bath and is in misery, 10/10

blorbo-a fine revolutionary term used to fight back against angry ops their posts were getting fandom tags in the fandom app, 20/10 cured my fear of judgement

*any sexual term*-would maybe be a bit funny if you guys used it for men who actually look pretty for once, 2/10 has ironic potential

slut/whore-very funny if used in a couple of men, otherwise its just awkward 3/10

any graphic paragraph of wanting to fix a man through something such as putting them in rice-a great way to show concern but still hint at being able to laugh at them, 10/10 i tried joking about this with a friend outside of tumblr and she acted like i was insane

will update if i remember more <3

[the-tiniest-one]

Parenting Rock Lee with Might Guy :)

Note:@xemaliahrssx here ya go! I hope it tastes just like you dreamed it would!

Sitting at the kitchen table, watching Guy and Lee devour the dinner you made, had you feeling nostalgic... You watched with your head rested on your hand. It was the little family moments that you appreciated more than anything else these days. "Yeah! and then I caught him in a cross block!" Lee said, describing their latest mission, his mouth full of food.

"Haha yes yes (y/n) you should have been there, our Rock Lee is becoming a real force to be reckoned with, much like his handsome sensei" Guy said with a wink in your direction.

"Handsome indeed" you said with a grin.

Thinking back to the days when you were a little more of a workaholic made you laugh. If you told your younger-self all those years ago that you would be Konoha's worst helicopter parent in just a few years, you'd have never believed it. Guy was a perfect match for you in that regard. You two were a well oiled machine when it came to parenting.

While Lee could do no wrong in your eyes, Guy was a bit heavy handed in his discipline of Lee's skills as a shinobi. You kissed every bruise and scrape, while Guy was teaching him how to prevent them in the first place.

Rock Lee has had more than his fair share of the short-end-of-the- shit-stick his entire life. BUT One could be forgiven for not recognizing the true level of hardship the boy has overcome in his short tenure as a shinobi. Lee is a true underdog.

Lucky for him, you've always been a bit of a sucker for an underdog.

You thought back to those early days......

Even before Lee evolved to a mini version of your childhood crush, you felt the need to protect him. Watching him fumble and practice jutsu in vain day after day.....early in the morning and into the night. You would watch him from a distance while training your own team. One early morning, you decided to check in on the boy with long black hair. He kicked at a post, counting off as you looked on...10....11.....12.....his kicks were weak even for his young age. As he got closer to 50 he fell back, overwhelmed by the pain of repetitively beating his shins into the wood without chakra to safeguard his bones.

Clearly angry at his situation, the thought occurred to you that maybe he wasn't using chakra because he couldn't....the boy had tears streaming from his eyes. It broke your heart to watch a kid who couldn't be more than 10, cursing his life.

"A kid working that hard shouldn't have to feel that defeated..." you said to yourself.

You felt conflicted. Torn between wanting to step in and takeover his training...but feeling the weight of responsibility that would come with encouraging a child to chase a pipedream that would only lead to disappointment. You knew all too well what happens to weak ninja. The reality was that it would be cruel to encourage the boy to peruse a life as dangerous as that of a shinobi. You were no slouch when it came to taijutsu but ninjas are able to compete with one another because of the advantages that come with developing kakai genki.

Could a boy with no use of chakra stand a chance against the generations of those families of ninja who use fearsome jutsu and tactics like lightning...wind....wood or even hereditary gifts like the dreaded sharingan or byakugen? The real answer was sad and harsh. No. He couldn't.

You wouldn't be so irresponsible as to tell the boy he could be anything but a failure.

If he perused that path, he would die young.

So you stood back, restraining the desire to comfort and nurture the little boy out of what you told yourself was mercy. Day after day, week after week....you watched on....until it became too much. You couldn't sleep anymore, couldn't function on missions the same way. Always thinking back to him still out at those training grounds.....always struggling.

....

One morning it was pouring rain. You called off training that day for your team and headed out to the place you knew he would be. He was there of course. He was doing his best to catch a cold while practicing hand signs to no avail. After watching him for a few minutes you finally asked, "What's your name kid?" speaking loud to project over the rain. Startled he looked up to where you stood, perched on a post a few feat away. "I...Im Rock Lee" he said timidly. You laughed at his shy but sweet face, "Im y/n" you said.

"Your kicks look like they could use some work", holding your palm about chest high, to show him where his blow should be landing. The boy grimaced...clearly angry with his lack of direction in training. You laughed and the both of you worked on his kicks for the duration of the morning.

"I think you'll be a splendid ninja someday" you said as you offered him a bit of lunch you packed. The boy looked up at you with the most heartbreaking fear in his eyes, "I can't use chakra" Lee said barley above a whisper, clearly ashamed to tell you the truth.

You ruffled his hair. "Look kid, life is shitty sometimes. But I can tell you are someone who will never quit. No matter the odds, and that is something worth more than all the talent in the world." He instantly smiled up at you, melting your heart for what would be the first of a million times. Laughing and showing you also first time you saw that shiny smile that you would come to love more that anything on earth.

From then on he was your responsibility. Your chest burned with pride in his concrete determination. Feeling instantly the protective burn and feral instinct to insulate him from anything that would hurt him.

....

It was about a year later when things evolved. You and Lee had become close. He, being an orphan as you found out he was, had taken your invitation to live in your spare bedroom. It wasn't long before you were nagging him to be sure and eat breakfast before class, take baths every night. You were often hearing your mothers voice echo in your own as you guided the child to a structure he lacked.

You even went to his parent meetings at the Academy, much to the surprise of Iruka (because he himself was 2 years older than you and had known you since you were smol) laughed when you asked to see Lee's reports.

----

Then one hot summer day you got the order... your team was dispatched on your first extended mission with your new genin. 3 months on a C rank mission to Suna. Your heart sank as you remembered Lee's graduation exam was in just a few days. Before you left, you kissed his forehead and promised a tearful Lee who had become just as attached as you over the last year, that would bring him back a graduation present.

You just knew he would finally pass.

....

Returning to the village near midnight you couldn't wait to see Lee. After giving report to Lord Third, you quickly made your way home. Quietly cracking the door to his bedroom, you peaked in to see his sweet little face. The snoring boy looked peaceful.

"He cut his hair?" you thought puzzled..."he must have done it himself, it looks a little odd." You laughed at the thought of him using a bowl to cut his hair.

Then your eyes traveled to the headband still around his forehead, "He passed!!!" you quietly celebrated, careful not to wake him up. You placed the promised gift on his dresser, a brand-new set of num-chuks you'd had made in Suna.

The next morning you were up before sunrise making a celebratory breakfast when an extreme round of knocking came from the apartment's front door.

You quickly answered, immediately flustered when on the other side was none other than Might Guy....the same Guy you'd had the hots for over a decade.

"Y/N!, I must have the wrong address! I was looking for one of my students!" Guy said in his familiar boisterous cadence. Laughing nervously you started to respond, when behind you Lee pushed his way through the doorframe. Your eyes widened at the sight.

The haircut made sense now, Lee stood side by side with his sensei. He was wearing Guy's jumpsuit... they could have been father and son.

Looking at the two of them standing side by side in front of you for the first time gave you the most jarring sense of dejavu.

"Guy sensei! Look what Y/N brought me from her most dangerous mission!" Lee brandished the weapon, beaming up at his teacher who laughed and winked in your direction. "Ah, a great choice! Only the most skilled ninja know how to use such a fine weapon! We must enlighten you at once Lee my boy!" With that the handsome jonin and your sweet Rock Lee were off to train.

You had known Guy since he was still struggling to gain entrance to the Academy, you knew that the man who radiated confidence today, only earned that ability through blood, sweat, and tears.

You apprehensively accepted that Might Guy was a good match to be Lee's sensei.

"Be careful!" you called, more than a little apprehensive at the thought of your sweet baby boy training with such an admittedly impulsive man. Feeling a small tug of sadness as you watched the two of them disappear down the street.

"Lee's getting tall..." you though as you closed the door.

....

Over the next few years Lee had grown into a strong young man. You felt such extreme pride in everything he did. Even though you being in your mid-twenties were not nearly old enough to be Lee's mother, he had taken to occasionally calling you mom.

Lee was never embarrassed of you as he grew into a teen like some of the other kids his age. He was always just as willing to give you a hug before a mission as the day you met him.

It would be a lie to say that the relationship you and Guy shared hadn't also matured along the way. Although you weren't Lee's biological parents, anyone would be forgiven for thinking that you were. Everything you had admired about Guy, his hot-bloodedness, his devotion to youthful perseverance, his love of his village had been passed down to your surrogate son.

It was only natural that you and Guy would become a team in raising Rock Lee. Over time after a few years of dinners, training sessions, birthdays, holidays etc...Guy decided to propose to you.

It was a literal dream come true. You couldn't say yes fast enough. But as required when two shinobi become married, when you went to sign the paperwork to make your marriage official, requesting a stamp of approval from Lady Tsunade....she extended to you a folder with a second set of forms.

Guy beamed as you read the contents. Adoption papers with Lee's name printed at the top in bold.

"He will always be our son. Since we are making it official... why not add one more?" Guy said with a laugh. The tears began welling in your eyes. "He's 17" you laughed, "I love you" is all you could think to say in response to the most kind gesture you have ever witnessed.

Guy held his trademark thumbs up high as he replied, "Lee will always need his mom, no matter how big he gets!" His words like music to your heart...

You'd never felt so complete as you walked hand in hand with Guy, on your way home to surprise your sweet son with the news.

Upon telling Lee what the two of you had done, he looked from the papers back to you. Confusion spread across the sweet ravenette's features. "But I do not understand" Lee said with a hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Have you not always been my mom?"

The innocent look in his eye and profound sincerity in his voice made tears well in your eyes for what felt like the tenth time that day. You laughed and swept he and Guy into a hug that didn't last long enough. "What's for dinner?" the two men asked in unison and in that moment you knew you were the luckiest person in the world.

[italeteller]

HEY YOU YEAH YOU

DO YOU LIKE FAKE MARRIAGE STORIES?

DO YOU LIKE SPIES??

DO YOU LIKE SMOL CHILDREN WITH PSYCHIC POWERS???

THEN SIT THE FUCK DOWN CAUSE I HAVE A NEW MANGA FOR YOU

MEET SPY X FAMILY

THE MAN IS AGENT TWILIGHT, A SPY WHO HAS DISCARDED EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS PAST IN OrDER TO WORK FOR THE COUNTRY OF WESTALIS IN OPPOSITION TO THE COUNTRY OF OSTANIA

KINDA COLD WAR-ISH

HE KICKS ASS, HAS ALL THE GADGETS AND CAN CREATE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE-LIKE FACE-CHANGING MASKS

HE’S THE KINDA GUY YOU REALLY DON’T WANNA FUCK AROUND WITH

FOR HIS NEXT JOB HE’S GOTTA TAKE OUT A POLITICIAN WHO ONLY COMES OUT IN PUBLIC FOR HIS SON’S ELITE SCHOOL REUNIONS

AND TO INFILTRATE THAT AGENT TWILIGHT IS GONNA NEED

*DRUM THE FUCKING ROLLS*

TO ADOPT A KID!

THIS IS ANYA

SHE SMOL

SHE CUTE

SHE A RUNAWAY CHILD FROM AN UNDERGROUND EXPERIMENT THAT GAVE HER THE POWER TO READ PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS

SHE MAY HAVE HORNS, ANTENNAE OR JUST A BOW, I’M NOT SURE

SHE LEARNS TWILIGHT IS A SPY AND TRICKS HIM INTO ADOPTING HER AND THUS BEGINS THE FAKE!PARENT AND CHILD SHENANIGANS WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF CUTE BONDING

CAN YOU FEEL THE DIABETES YET

BUT THE SCHOOL ALSO REQUIRES MEETINGS TO BE WITH BOTH PARENTS, SO TWILIGHT NEEDS TO FIND A WIFE

THUS ENTERS YORU BRIAR

SHE’S A 27-YEAR-OLD OFFICE WALLFLOWER

SHE’S AN ORPHAN WHO RAISED HER YOUNGER BROTHER ON HER OWN

SHE STICKS HER LEGGY UP REAL FAR

SHE’S ALSO A HITWOMAN UNDER THE CODENAME “THORN PRINCESS” WHO ESPECIALIZES IN KILLING LOADS OF PEOPLE WITH HUGE NEEDLES AND CAN PUNCH YOU SO HARD YOU’LL THANK HER

(SHE’S STRONGER THAN TWILIGHT TOO)

WHEN SHE LIES TO HER BROTHER ABOUT HAVING A BOYFRIEND TO GET HIM OFF HER BACK, HER BROTHER INSISTS IN MEETING THE MAN PERSONALLY AND WILL EVEN REJECT A JOB PROMOTION UNTIL THEY MEET

AND SO THESE TWO CASUALLY MEET AND WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM ANYA, WHO FINDS OUT YORU IS A HITWOMAN AND REALIZES HAVING A SPY AND A HITWOMAN FOR PARENTS WOULD BE ENTERTAINING AS ALL HELL, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE A RELATIONSHIP TO HELP EACH OTHER’S GOALS

TWILIGHT WILL PRETEND TO BE YORU’S BOYFRIEND TO GET HER BROTHER OFF HER BACK

YORU WILL PRETEND TO BE TWILIGHT’S WIFE SO ANYA CAN GET IN THE ELITE SCHOOL

BUT BECAUSE THE POLITICAL CLIMATE IS SO HEAVY WITH SUSPICION AND PEOPLE ARE BEING FALSELY ACCUSED TO BEING SPIES ALL THE TIME, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE-MARRY FOR REAL, JUST TO APPEAR LIKE A NORMAL COUPLE AND THROW SUSPICION OFF THEM AND THEIR RESPECTIVE SECRET JOBS

BUT JUST UNTIL THEY MEET THEIR GOALS RIGHT GUYS

THERE’S DEFINITELY NOT GONNA BE ANY REAL FEELINGS DEVELOPING OR ANYTHING RIGHT GUYS

YES THAT IS A GRENADE PIN TWILIGHT USED AS A WEDDING RING GUYS

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE ACTUAL, GREATEST THING IS? NOBODY KNOWS THE OTHER PARTY'S SECRET

TWILIGHT DOESN'T KNOW YORU IS A HITWOMAN

YORU DOESN'T KNOW TWILIGHT IS A SPY

NOBODY KNOWS ANYA IS PSYCHIC

ANYA KNOWS EVERYTHING BUT PRETENDS NOT TO SO SHE CAN HAVE A FAMILY

IT'S SUCH A STUPID, HILARIOUS CLUSTERFUCK THAT WILL BLOW UP IN GOD KNOWS WHICH WAY AND I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT FOR IT

THUS FAR THERE'S TWO CHAPTERS OUT, 50 PAGES EACH. IT RELEASES ON THE MANGAPLUS APP BI-MONTHLY WHICH IS A LONG WAIT BUT OH GOD SO FUCKING WORTH IT

AND I HOPE THIS POST WILL CONVINCE MORE PEOPLE TO READ IT AND KEEP IT RUNNING FOR MANY YEARS TO COME

[themoonlily]

Hi! I found your stories on a ficrec list for Eomer/Lothiriel and WOW!!! MUCH LOVE!!!!! I can't wait to read more wonderful stories from you! Can I ask what got you into this pairing, and what draws you to them? Also: any headcannons about them? (Physical/personality/hobbies/etc.)

Hi there! I am so glad to hear you like my stories. :)

I would say that I got to Éothiriel thanks to Éomer. I can't say I fell in love with him straightaway - I was your typical Aragorn fangirl back in the day (mind you, he’s still one of my favourite characters in the legendarium). I had always enjoyed the bits with Rohan in particular, and the more I watched the films, the more I liked Éomer, and once I had read the books a couple of times, I realised there was so much more to this guy. I loved his integrity, his unashamed passion, his loyalty and devotion to his family and friends, and how he strives to do better and learn. 

His arc in the books is such a fascinating one. He starts out as a scion of one of the leading families of Rohan (and is a son of a princess, no less), but is orphaned along with his sister at an early age, and then raised by the King himself. What kind of a trauma did that loss leave him with, and how did it affect his relationship with his sister? Were his teenage years very difficult thanks to this? At the time of the events of LOTR, he’s a fairly young man - among the youngest of the entire cast - and yet he has this hugely important duty as the Third Marshal of the Mark. He’s passionate but also ready to put himself and his own needs aside in order to do what’s right. The whole House of Eorl dynamics are just so fascinating, even though a lot of it happens outside the actual narrative of LOTR. What are his relationships with his uncle, his cousin, and his sister? How does this partnership with Théodred grow (to the point of Saruman seeing these two as the chief obstacle of the easy conquest of Rohan)? What does it feel like to watch his beloved uncle fall under the influence of ill-intended counsels (not to mention the threat of Wormtongue against Éowyn)? Éomer is portrayed as a fairly temperamental guy, so I can only imagine the fury he must feel at the situation. 

But then Théodred dies, the noose tightens around everybody’s throats, and one may just imagine the desperation and dread he must feel at this point. He’s still figthing and trying to do the right thing, even if that may now mean treason. But he’s still friendly to Aragorn and co. when they meet, recognising them as an opportunity to help Rohan almost immediately. 

He’s so loyal to his family that even after he’s been disgraced and humiliated by Wormtongue by the proxy of Théoden, he still knows where the true malice is coming from, and is ready to fight again for his uncle the moment he’s released. And he slips straight back to being the King’s lieutenant without even blinking his eyes. 

There’s also how Éomer becomes king. I’m fascinated with what it would feel like to him. I mean, he’s been second in line to the throne his whole life, so he probably always realised there’s a chance he’ll be king one day. But the circumstances he comes to the throne - the near ruin of his country, the tragic and violent death of his cousin he might have been able to prevent if not for Wormtongue, the brief time he has with his restored uncle, and then the whole mess of the War of the Ring... all that must feel pretty surreal for him. And, of course, the Battle of Pelennor’s fields, and his scenes in it... wow. Him nearly losing his mind over thinking his sister (and whole family) is dead, charging like a madman over the field, composing some pretty amazing poetry in the spur of the moment, and then just laughing in sheer defiance against what seems like imminent death. What a dude. 

And then there are so many other interesting aspects: how he must have felt over those long years (was he unhappy? was he lonely?), what he expected his life to be versus what it turned out to be, and what it did to him to watch his family leave one by one. I could go on, but then we would be here whole day. 

So, enter Lothíriel. Of course I was eager to know what happens to Éomer after the war is over, and fortunately, Tolkien had an answer ready - although he could really have told us more about them! Not that in canon there is anything to imply it was a love marriage, but personally, I don’t think that a man with a disposition like Éomer would submit to a loveless or faithless marriage (or that he’d risk his relationship with Imrahil by being faithless). I just can’t see it happening. Also I just want him to be happy, and find someone who brightens up his days, someone who won’t leave him. It’s nice to imagine him having a new start with her.  

Sadly, of her personality I can’t say anything that would be indicated by canon, but if we imagine her being anything like her father, then she might be a proud, strong and brave woman. Well, she would probably have to be courageous to leave her homeland for marriage (another reason I think it was a love union, because I want her to be happy, too)! I like to imagine her finding some unexpected, unimagined freedom in Rohan, perhaps even fulfilment of ambition in her role as a queen. Also, maybe with her background and if she had access to some kind of education, she’d be uniquely qualified to helping Éomer to rule and counseling him. Perhaps she even feels some personal pride over the fact that together, they are starting a new dynasty (or a new line) to rule in Rohan. Also, having a fairly big family, I think she would be well equipped to show him the love he has missed most of his life.  

I recall at some point reading the appendix about the House of Eorl, and that Éomer married Imrahil’s daughter, Lothíriel, and thinking yes, this makes sense. It’s just the sense I gleaned from the interactions and circumstances of the story. Of course Éomer would have strong feelings for Imrahil, since he was the one who saw that Éowyn was still alive and hastened her delivery to safety. Being a man of strong emotions, I think Éomer would hold Imrahil and his entire family in high regard thanks to this. Maybe it’s even a ground from which some attachment did grow between him and Lothíriel. Also, Rohirrim are a culture based on horses, and apparently the Princes of Dol Amroth also maintain a cavalry (the Swan Knights who, with Imrahil, took part in the Battle of Pelennor fields). So I see there definitely being a lot of points of connection! 

Of course, it also fits the socio-political frame we are left with at the end of the story: the new unity among the Free Peoples, the task of rebuilding after the war, and this new blooming of the friendship between Rohan and Gondor. On a purely logical level, it is reasonable that he’d marry the daughter of a powerful house like Imrahil’s. But for my purely headcanonish “aesthetic” (if that’s even the right word) reasons I do like the contrast these two make: their different cultures (and all that they entail from songs and poetry to foods and habits), their union as the union of earth and sea, his gold to her silver, the warrior and the lady... also this is purely headcanon/tropes but I definitely think of them as tol/smol and embodying the pair where A is the reason B began to smile again. (Tol/smol is at least half canon because Éomer is apparently as tall as Aragorn, like 6 feet 6 if I recall right. Since he’s also a professional warrior, he’s probably built like it too.)

So, yeah - I guess that’s already a lot of reasons for why I love this pair! There’s just so much potential there, so many avenues to pursue, and so much food for imagination. If you’re interested in more of my headcanons, you could try searching the tag “Éothiriel” in my blog - I’ve got plenty of posts about them! 

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for this answer being so long! I rather got carried away and Éomer deserves every bit of the love he gets, and so does Lothíriel. 

[chat-noir-always-here]

“Hey Arnold!” and “Miraculous!” parallels

Ever have an idea for a post that you take forever to get around to because 2020 is 

actively 

trying

to kill you?!

 Welp, that’s me. I mean, uh, this is that post.

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts cuz I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of text like these.

So there’s this show from my childhood called Hey Arnold! 

Having been on air before I had cable (I and my unsupervised brothers and sisters spent our childhood watching Jerry Springer and Maury because there was literally nothing else on our cheap little TV. How hilarious is that?) I didn’t really have much of an experience with Hey Arnold! aside from brief little glances at it when i visited a friends home or the rare occasion where they showed cartoons at school. By the time I got satellite, the show was no longer on the air save for some late night reruns and the Christmas special which aired in December along with other Nickelodeon Christmas episodes (THE best Christmas episode EVER btw).

Really I couldn’t remember much about it until hearing about the Jungle Movie finally getting a release date (a total flop but at least its no cliff hanger) and decided to re-watch the entire series in preparation for said movie.

By which point I had discovered another show—Miraculous. 

At first glance the two shows have absolutely nothing in common. Miraculous being a French-born mahou shoujo-esque CGI superhero TV series about a couple of middle schoolers who regularly battle a walking peppermint-frappucino-looking psychopath. Hey Arnold! being a more realistic children’s sitcom about a young football-headed boy who deals out humanitarian aid in the form of advice and simple good deeds to his neighbors, classmates and friends. 

In terms of setting, logic, and animation the two series are as different as night and day.

So imagine my pleasant surprise to discover a whole post’s worth of parallels shared between the two shows???

And here they are in no particular order:

1)Arnold’s Parents/Adrien’s mom

Prior to the start of Miraculous, Emilie Agreste disappeared under mysterious circumstances leaving her family behind. Later on it was revealed that she was in fact sleeping (dead?) in a glass coffin beneath the Agreste mansion--unbeknownst to Adrien, or anyone else in Paris save for Gabriel and Nathalie.

In a similar fashion, Arnold’s parents, Miles and Stella, also disappeared prior to the start of Hey Arnold! and like Emilie were always referred to as “missing” rather than “dead.” 

The Jungle Movie later revealed Miles and Stella weren’t dead, but like Emilie appears to be doing in her coffin, they were sleeping. Having caught a bout of sleeping sickness (apparently they do not need to be hooked up to IVs or other medical devices while in a comatose state cuz fuck logic) they simply needed their orphaned son to come and cure them with the help of the magical golden heart Helga provided him with.

Perhaps Mari holds the key to waking Emilie? That would be nice to see. 

Not the miraculous of course--but some other key.

Although personally I’m hoping for a hardcore, devastating ending like Emilie dying, Gabriel going to prison where he belongs, and Adrien leaving the country for a bit until the second Hawk Moth shows up because I just like devastating cliffhangers and angst and being in utter turmoil over fictional people. But that’s just me.

2) Their best friends are dating

Smol parallel here: Arnold’s best friend Gerald and Helga’s Best friend Phoebe wind up together in The Jungle Movie after being imprisoned together by Lasombra. Similar to how Nino and Alya ended up together after being imprisoned by Ladybug (for their protection, of course).

3) The Bag of Money Episode/ The Ladybug episode

OOh boy both of these episodes make me rage. 

Some context about the Bag of Money episode: Arnold and his friends Gerald and Sid find a random bag of money containing almost $4000. Sid is ecstatic and wants to split the money evenly between the three boys, but Arnold worries it could just be lost and convinces them to let him, Arnold, take the money to the police station. On the way he accidentally switches the bag with another one that is identical and contains a bunch of useless junk, and when he tries to explain what happened to his friends they don’t believe him because their bag of money was accidentally taken by an “old lady with pink hair and a peg leg.”

 Arnold’s a good boy and he’s telling the truth--but the truth sounds crazy, even to my ears. Sid accuses Arnold of stealing the money and spreads lies to their classmates, whom Arnold has spent the ENTIRE SERIES helping in some form or fashion. Despite everything he’s done for them though, the vast majority of the class come to believe Arnold is a thief. Even Gerald, Arnold’s closest friend, nearly believes Sid over Arnold but eventually comes to Arnold’s defense. The other kids (save for Helga who doesn’t really make an appearance this episode) gang up on Arnold, but thankfully the old lady with pink hair and a peg leg shows up with an officer and together they explain the bag of money is now at the lost and found where it will remain and if gone unclaimed will be returned to Arnold, Gerald and Sid. 

Pretty much everything is resolved and things return to normal between the kids. 

But I hate this episode. I hate this episode so, so much. Arnold has spent the entire series helping these people out in some form or fashion. Literally thats the entire show. And after everything he’s done for them they’re so. Quick. To. Turn. On. Him. 

Sound familiar???

4) Hidden Personality                   vs.          Surface Personality

 I do not refer to the cruddy “true selves” thing half the Miraculous fandom believes in. Depending on one’s individual circumstances, environment and how comfortable they are, said person’s behavior can fluctuate or even do a complete 180. This can be kinda frustrating when dealing on one’s own--”Who am I anyway? Is that me or is this me???”

It’s all you, fam.

Arnold and Helga are themselves too, no matter what metaphorical/actual mask they put on. There’s the side that everyone sees and then there’s the side almost no one sees. The hidden personality isn’t hidden due to a lack of trust, necessarily, but rather it is the result of retreating to their respective “shells”--ones which both Arnold and Helga were kinda punched, kicked, and shoved into. 

Helga’s surface personality: Class bully, puts up a tough front, constantly torments Arnold because she can’t stand him and his niceness

Helga’s hidden personality: Poetic, abused and isolated, is in love with Arnold to the point of being obsessed with him and bullies him via surface personality in order to hide that fact

Of course Adrien is no bully--his reasons for not being the “cunning, funny, ultra-charming Chat Noir” 24/7 DOES have a lot to do with his toxic household, his dad, and the overwhelming expectations which are constantly smothering him as Adrien. 

Adrien is a bug under a magnifying glass (or so he feels)

Chat Noir is a chance for a freedom.

 Adrien’s surface personality was molded by his dad.

 Helga’s is the result of her entire family. Her father is brash and loud, her mother is a confirmed alcoholic, her sister is a gifted prodigy, well-rounded and spends most of the series at university or elsewhere. Although her sister, Olga, has been shown to genuinely care for Helga, Olga is kinda the reason their parents neglect Helga. With their first daughter being the genius and prodigy she is, Helga’s parents poured all of their pride and affection and parental devotion onto her. Meanwhile Helga had to walk to pre-school alone. At four years old. In the rain. Not for the last time. 

Which leads me to the next parallel.

5) Umbrella in the Rain

squeals in delight over this parallel<3<3<3

If you’ve never seen Hey Arnold! do yourselves a favor and watch this short little clip over how Helga and Arnold first met. If you have seen it, watch it anyway because it is the most adorable clip in the entire show.

Dr. Bliss: “So nobody’s ever noticed you?”

Helga: “...There was someone.”

The soft way Helga confesses that--you can actually hear how grateful she is to have such a tender memory from such a painful time. 

 In a similar manner, Adrien offered his umbrella to Marinette. Of course Adrien did it because Mari had to walk home in the rain and Arnold did it as a simple gesture of kindness (seeing as they were already at the school)--one of the many kind acts he displays throughout the series. 

 But just like Adrien needed unconditional love coming from somewhere, so did Helga. They were both denied this one common necessity which everyone else around them had. It’s not a lot to ask for, and they should’ve already had it coming from their families--but they didn’t.

 And then, one rainy day, there it was--the unconditional love they needed.

6) Clinginess

What happens when you take someone, specifically a love-starved abused child from an unstable home environment--deprived of the one thing most crucial to their mental well-being--and miraculously provide them with that very necessity? 

Clinginess. 

I can’t really think of the correct word to describe this. “Clinginess” is pretty close to what I’m trying to describe, if not on point, so let’s go with that. 

 What I mean is Helga and Adrien both need Arnold and Ladybug respectively. That’s not a bad thing--it’s okay to need somebody else. What’s bad is hinging your entire being on this one connection. For if either kiddo were to be left behind they wouldn’t handle it very well.

 It can’t really be helped with either Helga or Adrien. They didn’t really have the option to learn certain things and went deprived of unconditional love for such a long time. They’re kids--nine and fourteen/fifteen respectively. They’re not perfect and they’re traumatized for life. Being denied love from your family--the very people designed to love you--would do that to a person. Naturally they would cling to the first people to show up and provide them with the love they needed. 

 The Hey Arnold! wiki says this about Helga and Arnold’s relationship

Due to her unstable family upbringing where both her mother and father constantly neglect [Helga] and shower all of their attention onto Olga, leaving her deprived of the love and attention she needed growing up. On her way to preschool, Arnold helped her by keeping the rain off her with an umbrella and even complimented her on her hairbow. He even later gave her crackers during their snack time. Arnold's kindness and being the first person to notice her quickly caused Helga to transfer all of her love and attention to Arnold.

Of course Adrien’s tunnel vision isn’t quite as bad as Helga’s.

 He treats his friends better.

 He does love his father--

Even though his father is THE. 

WORST.

 PARENT.

 EVER!!!

--because he’s Adrien and he’s just too precious a cinnamon roll and that’s still his dad even if the man does belong behind bars.

7) Unhealthy Obsession

I--

I...

Ugh. I am not going to delve too far into this. You’re just going to have to take my word for it. Helga’s creepy stalker behavior is a thousand times worse than Marinette’s. That pic up there of Helga hiding out in Arnold’s room watching him is pretty decent evidence to back up my argument, but it’s hardly the only example or even the worst incident.

 Honestly I’m amazed at what Nicktoons were able to get away with in the late nineties/early 2000s. 

But yes, Helga’s obsession with Arnold is rather unhealthy in the most extreme moments leading her to display behavior which is more often than not disturbing and concerning. 

The Hey Arnold! wiki has this to say about Helga’s obsession with Arnold

Helga is possessive of her love for Arnold and thinks non-stop about him to the point of obsession. This is evidenced throughout the series by the many shrines and poems she makes of Arnold and of her frequent dramatic soliloquies about her love for Arnold.

Again--Mari isn’t as bad as all that. She’s a sweet girl with many healthy relationships in her life. She has ambition, creativity, and drive. But yeah she can be rather possessive of Adrien too, and that needs to stop. Like right now. Adrien doesn’t need another girl being possessive of him and thinking he’s perfect--he needs someone who acknowledges him as a flawed person and loves him despite that. 

As for Helga and Arnold--show creator Craig Bartlett confirmed they are “made for each other” and wind up married with three kids, so I’m guessing Helga grew out of some of these bad habits? Or at least I hope so...

8) Helper/Humanitarian tendencies

As mentioned before, the plot of Hey Arnold! is more or less about Arnold helping people. As stated by Gerald in The Jungle Movie, “He’s a humanitarian! Like his parents!” Of course not every episode is about Arnold helping people. There are episodes devoted to supporting characters and they’re just as enjoyable and satisfying. 

 But as he is the titular character he spends a lot of time in the spotlight. 

Remember that “best christmas special EVER” episode I mentioned before?

 The reason it’s the best special, in my less than humble opinion, is due to a few things.

 The special is not about Santa Claws. In fact, I don’t think he’s even mentioned, let alone shown and treated like an actual living character.

The focus on the entire episode is again on Arnold helping someone, but he doesn’t succeed. Not really.

The one who succeeded in helping someone was Helga, who accomplished the goal Arnold had set out to do. 

The episode deals with some rather dark subject matter and is actually quite heartwarming as the “perfect present” Arnold was trying to provide someone with wasn’t something you can buy in the store

It’s also one of the episodes where Helga’s love for Arnold leaves her to do good and as her love for him is a secret, she expects nothing in return. She’s just happy to help him.

 Kinda similar to Mari who is, as Adrien puts it in Mayura, “Our every day Ladybug.” Her kindness and devotion to helping others is what drives her as Ladybug and Marinette. It’s what brought Ivan and Mylene together. Is the reason Nathaniel and Mark now have a comic book together. And at the end of the day, that’s the reason for her strange behavior around Adrien--she wants to help him. Even if it’s just as a “good friend.” 

9) There are two main characters

Although Hey Arnold! is technically a show about Arnold, one could argue it is just as much Helga’s story. 

Similarly, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir is named thusly in order to convey the fact that Adrien is just as much a main character as Marinette is. 

Although I must say Hey Arnold! did a much better job of giving it’s co-character their dues. GIVE. ME. MORE. CHAT NOIR. FOCUSED. EPISODES. DAMMIT.

But, yes, in terms of screen time, Helga gets about as much as Arnold does. Her story and struggles were given just as much importance as Arnold’s and many people have even come to believe that the show is really about Helga. I’d say its about both of them.

10) Constantly bumping into each other

Granted this happens between Arnold and Helga more often than it does to the love square dorks. 

 But yes the two people meant to be together keep knocking into each other in their respective universes. 

 I forget who, but I remember reading that someone a while back theorized that this was the universe’s way of trying to push Arnold and Helga together. Kinda like the “Now kiss!” meme

Perhaps it’s the same for Adrien and Marinette? 

;)

[councilofelrond]

Kind of a comedic concept (I know, so unusual!) but I’ve been thinking about Sauron in the Fourth Age and more and more in becomes clear that the best punishment is…

To make him guard the Shire, of course! What better punishment than to be forced to protect what you hate the most?

Naturally, I came up with several concepts for this, including the following:

- He can’t get past Bree. He can go TO Bree, but no further

- Hobbit children have officially declared him their uncle. If someone becomes an orphan and vanishes, chances are they went to learn from or live with ‘that fae who’s everyone’s uncle for some reason we cannot seem to decipher’

- Frodo vaguely recognizes the voice, but Sauron’s accent (yes this goes with my ‘Irish Umaiar’ headcanon what of it) is much thicker in person. also, he seems harmless.

- “I may hate you all, but you better bloody believe I will protect you until my last feckin’ breath!” - Sauron at some point

- Gets attached to one extremely odd Hobbit girl and adopts her

- Occasionally, a three eyed wolf appears and wanders around with Pippin for a week

- Gets adopted by Lobelia Sackville-Baggins

- Helps fight Saruman maybe

- when he takes the form of a white wolf (the only other form he’s allowed to take, and it pisses him off) the Hobbit kids literally will not let go of him. This despite the fact he is absolutely massive, has three eyes, has enormous fangs and claws, and his fur sometimes seems to glow like fire from within.

- Bickers with the people in Bree, but they also owe him lots of money because he keeps beating them at cards at the Prancing Pony

- Teaches people how to make Orcish grog

- To everyone’s shock, Orcish grog is delicious. The only downside is you can become extremely reckless and also you get a miserable hangover

- SOMEONE ADOPTS A BABY ORC

- said baby Orc is from Gundabad and within a few years is already taller than Hobbit children twice their age

- Sauron has literally never been more confused. People want to learn Angbandian and Orcish because he keeps cussing in them and they want to know what he’s saying

- It’s hilarious until the baby Hobbits pick up on his cussing and start USING THE WORDS

- He has to explain what they me to the smol Hobbits, who then immediately go home cussing in Westron instead

- Sauron isn’t sure what else he expected

- Has to explain to a horrified Merry that the Witch-King was not actually his son, he just adopted him. Then he realizes ‘wait never mind he was—wait no Hobbit DO NOT APOLOGIZE OH SWEET VOID I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS’

- Sauron teaches the Hobbits how to say thank you in Orcish.

- It roughly means ‘I will not hurt you’

- When this is discovered, everyone IMMEDIATELY panics and becomes very protective of the baby Orc, who’s just vibing and Does Not Get It

In short, it’s just organized chaos. Yes, Sauron is a card shark. Yes, I make the rules. No, I will not elaborate.

(well not until I write the fic). If you wish to learn more, the tag for this silliness is ‘hobbits adopt sauron au’

[casualmaraudering]

Sirius and Remus become (late) parents/guardians to Harry. Harry sees how incredibly caring they are and how Sirius gets nervous but smiley and soft with babies and casually mentions that there's a lot of war orphans that need to be adopted. That is how Sirius and Remus gain a son, and Harry gets a younger brother (Teddy).

Additionally: Teddy, smol child that he is, loves yanking on Sirius' long hair. Remus always cackles when that happens.

ok but Sirius eventually cutting his hair short cause of that and Teddy crying and throwing a fit when he first sees him cause he doesn't recognize him

[the-stray-liger]

I adopted a new batch of sons this month

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Why is early Thomas such a smol emotional and kinda socially-feral little engine?

@princeluckybug13 I saw your tags... all your tags... and after your compliment there’s probably not a damn thing I wouldn’t do for you. ♥ 

So... early N.W.R.!Thomas...

Biggest thing that needs explaining: it looks like Thomas has been in service for about nine years (potentially even more? the dates are wriggly) before we see him getting to take his first passenger train, and then what is implied to be his first goods train. 

On a bigger railway? Makes sense. He’s designed for shunting and light goods. Such is his fate. 

But on Sodor? Their locomotive fleet is small, and especially in these early years we see the railway demand a super high degree of flexibility from its engines... except Thomas. (Who is more than willing!) 

It’s weird to me that, despite all the years of “locomotive crisis” that our old friend Topham struggled through, Thomas had never been called in to cover duties beyond construction work and station pilot before.

It almost seems like it would have to be a conscious policy. Like, one of the Fat Controller’s priorities (in between spending dollar zero, expanding his railway, and quelling the ever-present threat of passenger riots) is “protect this little one... fuck Gordon, make an invaluable high-speed flagship play with heavy freight on steep hills even though it’s definitely not what his wheel/axle system was designed for, and we’ll literally drive Henry to madness... but Thomas is not to be overtaxed or in any way risked.” 

So, basically, tl;dr I think he’s just overprotective helicopter parent. And this is why early years!Thomas seems so childish... /tl;dr

To explain the Fat Controller’s very tender spot for Thomas, I further headcanon that:

1) an engine’s first steaming is when they first become “alive,” and is a pretty big deal, and is usually presided over by their designing engineer, who knows how to orient confused new machine creations into the world

2) due to the chaos at the beginning of WWI, Thomas was shipped out to Sodor in a rush without ever having been steamed before

3) Topham Hatt I is a lot of bloody things, but he does have a real heart for engines somewhere under all his narcissism and “financial necessity” and thought it was not at all on to basically have this unprotected lil orphan engine rattling around the war-crazy world and put straight to work without guidance 

4) Hatt, himself a trained designing engineer, insisted on being present before Thomas was first steamed (even though this caused confusion and delay... during a period of construction where it couldn’t really be afforded... but Hatt thought anything less than having an engineer around to do his best to take care of the new engine would have been just indecent...) 

5) it helps that small engines are his “type” anyway (there’s a whole lot of evidence for this, including some of his comments in the stories and that one of his biggest early career moves was designing the tiny “Coffee Pot” engines) 

6) so yeah, Hatt just got very attached as he guided Thomas into existence

7) I headcanon him, despite his busy schedule, taking care to visit and check up on Thomas frequently during the railway construction, and further all the employees totally notice the boss’s preference and make a lot of jokes about it because holy crap is this a mirage or does the Fat Bastard have a heart? either way let’s mock the hell out of him behind his back

8) Hatt’s a more doting father to Thomas than he is to his own son

9) mainly due to that narcissism thing. engines are more malleable than human children... the latter of whom grow into fully-fledged equals at some point. 

10) (as a sort of bonus in this realm of “Thomas is not forced to grow up any too fast in the usual Locomotive School of Hard Knocks,” he also gets looked after by big brother/de facto early railway leader Edward, who is of course absurdly sweet by what we see of engine standards... which in this universe seems to just mean he would never have abusively told young Thomas made-up stories about being turned into goddamn generators or spare parts but that’s another essay...) 

11) I think Hatt might have relaxed a little on keeping Thomas in the Knapford ivory tower under normal circumstances, but the stresses of keeping the troubled early N.W.R. afloat distracted him, and also made him all the more determined to protect his wee baby loco from the crazy instability of those years

12) as a result of all the above, Thomas has a very long “childhood,” and I think by the time we get to the canon stories he’s in a state of artificially arrested development 

13) (sidenote: I think being Thomas’s driver at this time would have been hell; I’m sure the Fat Controller was micromanaging him like a bastard...) 

14) I honestly give Hatt a lot of credit for finally realizing that this situation was untenable at the end of “Thomas and the Trucks” and shifting to supporting Thomas’s growth... he could have slammed Thomas back into place, sabotaging him the way a lot of helicopter parents do... instead (while still being all disciplinarian) he gives Thomas a path forward and I think he did real good there, proving in this one case at least to be wise and loving... honestly I still don’t think he’s usually like that, but Thomas has and will always bring out the best side of him 

[whumpbby]

Reverse Robins au where Damian brings home little Jason to be his son and Tim’s like “oh my god it’s genetic” and teases him for years. When Tim brings home freshly orphaned Dick he’s spontaneously adopted after his trip to the circus went very wrong, he glares at his big brother and says “Not a single word” Alfred’s just happy he has great-grandchildren. Bruce is wonder how is sons both got custody of children when they were barely legal adults themselves. “It’s called money.”

That is something that @primeemeraldheiress patented 100% to perfection:D

Bruce is like, how did you do it? They are like, copious amounts of cash? 

In case of Jason, probably no one asked too many questions...

And so now Bruce has 2 omega grand/sons and he’s a happy grandpa:) Every alpha talks about having alpha sons, but inside every hardass alpha wants a smol omega baby to coo over and spoil;] 

And Tim is the kind of a dad that will be “okay, your dietary requirements are so and so and you will eat veggies while staying with grandpa, and good protein and sometimes a treat, but only after luch!” all the while Bruce and Alfred share a look and they both know that baby Dickie needs to be round and soft, and that the shortest way to omega’s heart leads through a second dessert before bed;] 

Surprisingly, Dickie is a picky child - whereas Jason is a human-shaped dustbin that will inhale everything - and even spoiling him is a lot of work;]