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magicshopaholic · 1 year

Text

Other People (Seokjin x OC)

Summary: You learn a new trick, while Seokjin discovers something unexpected at Big Hit.

Pairing: Seokjin x OC

Genre: Best friends; angst

Word count: 8.5 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language, alcohol, mention of diets, mentions of brain surgery, mentions of a car accident (again, Nari is a surgeon, so)

A/N: This got unnecessarily long; I would apologise for it, but I couldn't find a single thing I wanted to delete. It's also two am so I've made an executive decision to not proofread this. I wish I could predict the reaction to this fic but I honestly have no idea. Takes place approximately three months after The Test.

Tagging: @bbl32 @quarter-life-crisis2 @dreaming-with-happiness @meirkive @faearchives @margopinkerton @purpleseoul7 @kflixnet (italics could not be tagged; drop a message if you want to be added)

Listen to: "don't know why" by norah jones

seokjin masterlist | main masterlist

It’s cold and rainy in Seoul, even when it shouldn’t be.

The day had started off as a nice sunny winter morning in November, the sun a soft golden, a welcome respite from the low temperature. As noon arrived, so did the clouds. By late afternoon, they were grey and ample, sealing the city in a coffin.

Now, the evening doesn’t look at all like it’s continued from the same morning. The rain comes down in torrents, creating a constant din, loud enough for people to have to speak in slightly raised voices to be heard properly.

Nari stands outside the ER with a coffee in one hand and her phone in the other, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. The coffee is losing its heat with every passing second and she tries to gulp it down as fast as she can without burning her tongue in the process.

“What do we have?” Daeun appears from behind her, tying her hair into a ponytail, trauma gown already on.

“Two cars crashed into each other outside the mall,” supplies Nari. “Five victims, multiple contusions, broken bones and at least one head trauma. Coffee?”

Daeun accepts the cup with a nod and takes a noisy sip. “Ah, that’s good stuff. Shit, the rain is bad. I don’t think this will be our only car accident today.”

“Not even close,” mutters Nari, as two more fellow doctors join them. “I just hope we have the room.”

“We don’t,” says Jason, shifting from one foot to another. “Two of the trauma rooms are still unusable from the pipe leakage and the most of the X-ray machines are done after the Wednesday Soccer Team Incident. We have exactly one CT machine in working condition. The hospital is going to have to scrape money off the sidewalk to pay for all those repairs,” he adds, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Good thing they’re hosting a fundraiser then,” says Daeun dryly, just as the ambulance pulls in and the paramedics spill out. “A bunch of rich donors with their cheque books hanging out of their pockets - if that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.”

Two patients, strapped to a gurney each are then lowered out of the ambulance. All four of them dash forward and tag themselves to a patient, hurrying inside as they listen to the paramedics rattle off their initial assessment and vitals on the field. Nari finds herself next to a woman, possibly in her thirties, with fresh cuts on her face and arms. Her t-shirt is drenched and her jacket has been ripped off, most likely by the paramedics themselves.

“Abdomen is tender so there might be internal bleeding,” says one of the paramedics. “There was no fire but there’s indication that she might have a swollen airway because of the fumes.”

“Alright, we need to get a CT,” says Nari, scanning the ER for an empty trauma room but finding none. “Damn it,” she mutters. “Okay, we’re going to have to keep her here - maybe we can use an ultrasound for now until we can move her.”

“Empty bed over here.” Jason steers the gurney over and immediately hooks the patient up to an IV. “I’ll get the portable ultrasound.”

“I’ll check her airway.” Nari gets to work immediately, trying to intubate the patient, who seems to have passed out entirely. She’s almost done when Jason returns, a nurse and the portable ultrasound machine in tow.

“This better work,” he mutters to her as the nurse begins positioning the patient correctly. “If we can’t find the bleed on this, we’re going to have to get in line for CT, which will take… hours.”

“Here’s hoping,” she agrees, standing back and observing the screen as he moves the transducer over the patient’s abdomen. She sighs and bites her lip when the image comes up clean. “Nothing. Move it to the left?”

Jason obliges, clicking his tongue. “I can’t believe the hospital doesn’t have a budget set aside to fix this stuff. This is a hospital,” he repeats, sounding appropriately frustrated. “Damn it, this bleed is really small. It’s barely showing up on the scan.”

“It has to be there. Here, let me try,” she offers, taking the transducer from him and moving it slower along the woman’s torso. “Do we all have to actually go to this fundraising thing, though? Can’t we skip?”

Jason scoffs. “It’s either dress up and smile at a bunch of rich people or stay here in the ER all night because all the attendings will be at the event. We’re not going to get a night off. The best we can do is make sure we’re all there so we at least have someone to talk to.”

It takes a second to click. “Shit, that’s it.”

“What is? Did you find the bleed?”

“What? No. Sorry,” she mutters, going back to the ultrasound, feeling an encouraging flutter in her stomach. I didn’t find the bleed, she thinks apologetically. I found a segue.

—

It’s hours later when Nari finally gets a moment alone. Sitting at a table in the residents’ locker room, a sandwich in one hand and her phone in the other, she stares at her last chat with Seokjin. It’s a depressing series of heys and what’s ups and not muches, which is all it’s been for months now, ever since they’d last seen each other in August.

It started with superficial questions and forced conversation, half-hearted plans to meet before he had to leave for Europe again, until they dwindled down to monosyllabic answers that Nari found herself too humiliated to keep going, for more than one reason.

For one, it didn’t help her newfound insecurity of being a clingy friend, especially to a man who had made perfectly clear that he didn’t see her as anything but a friend. On top of that, she had no way of knowing what he was thinking. He wasn’t angry; she knew what Seokjin was like when he was angry and if he truly was, she would know.

No, he wasn’t angry. He was… distant. Part of it could’ve been that he was busy, completing an entire promotional activity across Europe. But now that he’s back from their last stop in Japan, Nari knows that they have to get back on track. Being her date to a fundraiser isn’t her top pick, but it might just be the right balance between an organized event where he can’t ignore her and a public enough place that they won’t have to be alone at any point. Besides, if it doesn’t happen now, between his stint in Europe and his tour beginning early next year, she has a sinking feeling that their relationship will stagnate right here.

She swallows, her heart racing slightly. It’s the middle of the night; Seokjin is most likely asleep, which gives her a great excuse to text and not call.

Nari [01:11]

Hey.

She sends it before she loses her nerve, the soft whoosh sounding awfully final. Her stomach tugs uncomfortably with anxiety that she’s only recently started to associate with Seokjin, a strange and new feeling of not being able to expect what’s coming.

She continues staring dementedly at the phone, its screen dark, until she finishes the entire sandwich.

“It’s the middle of the fucking night, Nari,” she mutters to herself, standing up with a groan and stretching. There’s no point wasting her night worrying when she’s probably not going to get a response until tomorrow. She changes out of her scrubs and runs a hand through her unwashed hair, counting herself lucky that she can get a good six hours of sleep before she has to return in the morning.

The rain has slowed to a drizzle now; despite the cold, Nari tilts her head to the sky slightly, welcoming the fresh air. She runs her hands through her hair again, feeling the droplets cooling her scalp as her hair falls around her shoulders in clumpy strands. She doesn’t even make it past the entrance when she feels the unmistakable vibration of her phone in her bag, touching her hip.

Nari freezes. This is unprecedented; Seokjin is never awake this late. Fishing out her phone, she lets out a low breath when she sees a message from him. She can ignore it, to be sure, and deal with it tomorrow morning - but then she would come off as a coward.

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s ridiculously late, maybe it’s the fact that she just spent a better part of the evening fixing a bleed in a person’s abdomen - but the inner voice in her head simply sighs tiredly and goes it’s just Seokjin, prompting her to shake her head and open his message.

Kimbap [01:35]

Hey.

It’s anticlimactic, for sure, but still unexpected. Nari takes a seat on a bench near the parking lot and wipes the droplets off her screen with the sleeve of her jacket, hoping this isn’t going to be another one of their pointless conversations.

But he replied, didn’t he?

He did. Even though it’s the middle of the night. Encouraged, she responds.

Nari [01:39]

Didn’t expect you to be awake.

Kimbap [01:40]

We’re watching a movie at the dorm.

Nari [01:40]

Oh. Which one?

Kimbap [01:41]

Hereditary. I hate it.

Nari [01:41]

Jesus. Then why are you still watching it?

Kimbap [01:41]

There’s a bet and Jungkook is involved. It’s a long story.

Nari’s immediate response of I have time gets backspaced instantly. The honest truth is that she doesn’t have time and he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. She can’t be sure how well a joke will land right now but she also knows that she needs to respond fast or this is doomed to be another one of their hopeless attempts at a conversation.

All of a sudden, her phone rings and Nari almost drops it. It’s Seokjin, his name blinking bright on the screen. Now fully panicking - because this was not part of the plan - Nari looks around wildly around the empty parking lot, as though hoping for someone to spring out of the bushes and tell her what to do.

The phone is still ringing. Before she realises what’s happening, her thumb does an awkward sort of spasm and lands on the screen, answering the call.

Here goes nothing, she thinks. “Um, h-hello?” she stutters.

“Hey.”

It’s like a football being kicked into her ribcage from the inside. Nari winces, wondering when her anxiety got this severe, to the point where her best friend’s voice is starting to cause her physical comfort. She leans back on the bench and tries to breathe slowly.

“Aren’t you, um, watching a movie?”

“Yeah. But if I’m on the phone, I have a decent excuse to get out of it.”

Oh. Nari feels her shoulders deflate. “Glad to be of help,” she murmurs, chuckling awkwardly. “How - how are you? Are you in Seoul?”

“Yeah, I am. Busy, though,” he adds quickly. “The album’s coming out in a week, so there’s a lot of work going on for it.”

“Right. Of course. How’s that going?”

“It’s fine. Hectic, as per usual. What about you?” he asks after a moment. “How’s the hospital, and the… surgeries and stuff?”

“Same. I mean, hectic. As usual.” Nari closes her eyes and feels her heart sink at the sheer effort this conversation is taking. She can’t begin to think about how they got here and it seems way too exhausting to even try.

“You sound tired.” Seokjin pauses, the sentence sounding incomplete. “Have you - I mean, are you still at the hospital?”

“Going home now. I just got a sandwich at the cafeteria,” she adds, hoping she’s guessed his half-question right.

“Now? I thought you hated the night cafeteria.”

“I do, but it beats the vending machine crap. Have to make do when the jajjangmyeon isn’t an option,” she jokes, bracing herself for his response.

But all he does is chuckle half-heartedly. “Yeah. What’s up? You texted?”

“Oh, right. Yeah.” Nari had barely worked up the nerve to text him about the fundraiser; asking him over the phone was a whole different ball game. “I was just thinking…” She trails off, her eyes widening as her vocal chords stay unwilling to go further.

“M-hm?”

Pull yourself together, woman.

“I was thinking that… we haven’t hung out in a while,” she ventures bravely, her knee jerking up and down. “And there’s a - there’s a thing later this week, so… that could be… you know.” She swallows, wishing Jason hadn’t put this stupid idea in her head in the first place. “... If you want,” she finishes lamely.

Seokjin is silent for a few seconds, during which Nari goes from anticipation to full-blown horror. “I’m sorry, are you - are you inviting me to something?” he asks, sounding confused.

“Um, kind of?”

“Like a party?”

“Well, no. Not a fun one,” she says wryly. “It’s a - there’s a fundraiser. And I have to go and… yeah, I was wondering if maybe you do, too. Since we haven’t hung out in a while.”

“Fundraiser, huh?” He doesn’t sound enthused at all. “Like, for charity? Wait, who’s the charity?”

“We are the charity,” she explains, rolling her eyes. “The hospital. Which means it’s just going to be all board members and senior doctors and other board members - and us. The residents.”

“Huh. Way to make it sound appealing, Nari.”

“It’s not appealing, at all. But it’s free food and booze and I get a chance to get out of my scrubs,” she points out. “Nice dress, straightened hair. And you’ll have to wear a suit,” she adds apologetically.

“Right.” There’s a soft sound and Nari realises a moment later that he’s laughing quietly. It makes her stomach feel uncomfortably heavy.

“What?” she asks, a bit defensively.

“Nothing,” he says, still chuckling. “We haven’t hung out in a while, so your idea was to do so at a… boring work event?”

Nari is quiet for a moment. The fact that he laughed is still prickling. “Well, I’d be open to other suggestions but you haven’t really had the time,” she can’t resist saying. “I work long hours; I don’t really get a lot of other opportunities to go out.”

“Yeah, Nari, I work long hours, too,” he reminds her, sounding irritatingly calm. “But if it’s either that or a hospital charity fundraising event filled with doctors… I think I’ll pick the long hours.” He chuckles again.

You’re a fucking idiot, Nari.

“Got it. See you around, Seokjin.”

“Nari, come on, I was joking -”

His words get cut off when she hangs up, fuming. She puts her phone on silent then, for good measure, and begins storming home in the cold. She won’t respond to any of his calls or messages tonight, the arse, she thinks. But fate must be on her side, for even after she gets home, changes and gets into bed, Seokjin doesn’t call or message.

—

Seokjin reaches the Big Hit building earlier than required. There’s no one in the rehearsal room yet, not even Hoseok, so he decides to get a much needed shot of caffeine from the cafeteria on the fourteenth floor. As he waits in line, he scans the food menu, each item like a gourmet creation.

Have to make do when the jajjangmyeon isn’t an option.

Seokjin sighs and tries not to think about what Nari had for dinner last night, but by the time his coffee is handed to him, he knows he’s a goner. It had taken him every ounce of restraint to not reach out to her again last night, knowing that no good would come of it. But now, in the light of day, he knows he can’t avoid it any longer.

He calls her before he can talk himself out of it. Looking out at the city from the floor-to-ceiling windows and sipping his coffee, he hears her phone ring continuously until it goes to voicemail. He tries not to read too much into it; she’s probably already at work and she rarely answers unless she’s taking a break. It’s better than the other option; the feeling of Nari being angry with him is too foreign for him to consider right now.

He dials her number again to be certain and when it once again goes to voicemail, he clears his throat and takes another sip of coffee for liquid courage.

“Hey, Nari,” he begins, then sighs. “Look, I’m sorry if I was a bit of a dick last night. You just caught me off guard. Honestly, I… I didn’t think you really wanted to hang out with me so when you said you did, it just kind of threw me. And your event does sound boring,” he adds, hoping she hears the teasing in his voice, “but I’ll be there anyway. Suit and everything. I want to hang out with you, too,” he says after a moment, knowing the words don’t even begin to explain the magnitude of how much he wants to see her again, how hard it’s been to distance himself since the last time he saw her. “So… yeah. Text me the details.”

He should be saying something more but he can’t think what. As he looks around, hoping the words will come to him, he spots a figure just outside the cafeteria doors and does a double take. His mind runs through a myriad of memories to zero in on the right one, when he remembers he’s still on the phone.

“Anyway, I have to go. Bye.” Locking his phone and heading out towards the figure, Seokjin pushes his shoulders back and hopes he isn’t wrong. She’s in a slim navy blazer, skinny jeans and very high heels, a sleek laptop tucked under one arm and her fingers flying across the keypad of a Blackberry.

He taps her shoulder with a feather-light touch. “Um, hi? I think I have something that belongs to you?”

When she turns around, face carefully blank, Seokjin is momentarily sure of two things: one, that she is exactly who he thought she was, and two, that her lack of expression can only mean that she doesn’t remember him.

“You do?” A moment later, her perfectly lined lips tilt upwards slightly. “That’s right. What was it again?”

“Um…” Seokjin licks his lips, glad that he didn’t just go up to a random stranger and interrupt her in the middle of what seems to be a very long email. “I think it was a collectible of some kind? Very glamorous. Had a name on the inside?”

Her smile widens. “Do you remember what it was?”

Seokjin gulps but keeps his face still. “Of course. It was… Seulgi.” The relief at her nod is unexpected. “You think I’d forget the person that saved my hand that night? How would I ever hold a mic otherwise? My career might have been over!”

Seulgi laugh, a nice, low laugh. Her teeth are perfectly lined and perfectly white, shining against light bronze skin without a single pore. Her hair is long, straight and black, not a strand out of place. She looks like she belongs on a pamphlet for corporate employees.

Which reminds him.

“Do you - do you actually work here?” he asks. “In Big Hit?”

“Yeah,” she answers, looking only very slightly apologetic. “I thought I recognised you that night as well but I couldn’t be sure. I only just moved to the Marketing team. Sorry.”

“Uh, no, don’t be.” Seokjiin shakes his head. “It’s good to see you. And now I can return the wrist brace to you, too! This is great.”

“I mean, you don’t have to. I told you, I have a bunch of them,” she reminds him, raising her left hand slightly. From under the sleeve of her blazer, a navy blue brace, just like the purple one she’d lent him, peaks out.

“No, no, I should,” he says anyway, shaking his head and glancing at the clock on his phone. There’s a message on his notification tray… “It’s back in my…” He wracks his brain, “... uh, flight. Which I took. The day after you lent me the brace.” He drops his face in his hands when she laughs again, low and husky.

“It’s really okay,” she says, touching his arm before taking a step back. “I actually do have a lot of them. And maybe they’ll help out some other poor soul who’s hurt his wrist.”

“That’s the hope,” he agrees, knowing his ears are reddening. “Man, I really wish I’d known you worked here. I would’ve… I don’t know. Broken the news about losing your brace sooner, for starters.”

“The loss would’ve been easier,” she agrees.

Seokjin bites his lip, preparing to let the awkwardness wash over him but it doesn’t. Seulgi’s warm, despite her appearance suggesting she’s about to walk into a room and fire a dozen people.

“I feel really guilty, though,” he repeats after a moment. “Can I - I don’t know… buy you a coffee? It’s no collector’s edition wrist brace, but still?”

“Oh, that actually sounds good,” she replies, and for a moment his heart skips a beat of relief, “but the line seems long and I have a meeting.” She holds her Blackberry up apologetically.

For the first time, Seokjin notices a Galaxy in her other hand – a personal cell and a work cell. She’s core corporate, he realises, possibly senior management. He doesn’t know why, but it’s slightly intimidating.

“Oh. Oh, okay. Sure.” He nods as she moves past him. “It was good to see you, though.”

“Yeah, you, too. Glad your wrist is better.” With a quick wave, she heads down the corridor and disappears from view.

Seokjin watches her leave, still cringing somewhat over the wrist brace he hasn’t thought about in months. She’d been the only person that night he’d had a normal conversation with - somehow, this doesn’t seem like the best way to show his gratitude.

It’s time to head for practice, anyway. As he steps into the elevator, he opens his messages and breathes a sigh of relief.

Nari [09:14]

[Location]

Nari [09:14]

Friday, 7 pm

—

It’s hours later when they’re finally done with practice. All seven of them, a choreographer and a couple camerapersons are the only ones left. Jimin and Jungkook are still standing, going over their portion of the choreography as Hoseok watches, even though they look like they might collapse any second. Taehyung is spread-eagled on the floor, his bowl hat on his face. Yoongi is sitting in one corner of the room, staring into nothing.

Seokjin feels too tired to move, every single muscle aching. He leans back against the mirror and tries to catch his breath. Next to him, Namjoon is lying on the floor and texting. Seokjin catches a couple of words and immediately looks away; It seems to be in English, so it’s a fairly easy guess who the other person is.

“Any plans tonight, hyung?” Yoongi trudges over and tumbles down on his other side, crossing his legs.

“Not a one,” answers Seokjin. “In fact, I don’t think I’ll be getting out of bed for a while so if you need anything, I’ll respond to you in two to five business days.”

“You need to be at the studio tomorrow morning.”

There’s a pause. “Fine, but apart from that,” he amends, wagging his finger in Yoongi’s face, “two to five business days.”

“There’s also the interview on Friday.”

“Damn it, Yoongi,” groans Seokjin, glaring at him. “Fine, but that’s the last one. I have plans to vegetate all weekend in my apartment,” he informs him, knowing that there’s no way he'll get the entire weekend off, but needing to put across the point, “so just… don’t ruin it for me.” He watches Yoongi make a motion that might be a chuckle and rolls his eyes. “And besides, the interview is on Thursday. So my weekend begins on Friday.”

“The interview is on Friday,” says Yoongi calmly.

“No, it’s not. It’s Thursday. The twenty-fourth.”

“Thursday is the twenty-third.”

“No,” repeats Seokjin, feeling his pulse start to race, “it - it was always on Thursday.”

“No, it’s Friday,” pipes up Namjoon from his other side, not looking away from his phone.

And thus, Seokjin is left to spend the rest of the day in a growing pit of guilt, knowing that he’s going to have to disappoint Nari yet again - this time, completely unintentionally.

Her hesitation last night had not gone unnoticed by him. It was hard to hear but equally hard to respond to, and Seokjin half-hoped that she would find it too hard to go through with actually inviting him somewhere and drop the idea altogether.

But she persisted and while it made Seokjin profusely glad that she still cared, it also meant that he would have to find a way to face her after avoiding her for months.

It doesn’t feel nearly as easy as it sounds, for Seokjin has absolutely no idea what to expect when it comes to Nari now. Part of him still feels guilty for lying to her the day after the wedding; her question had taken him completely off guard and lying about his feelings was the only way he’d been able to think of to avoid the situation getting worse.

It was a mess already but somehow, twenty-four hours later, it was So Much Worse. Somehow, Nari had come to him with a problem he couldn’t ignore. Somehow, he suddenly had to reevaluate his entire life with her in it, and somehow, in less than a day, his short-lived future with Nari as the mother of his child and best friend for life had been created and shattered.

It was hard to think of, and so much harder to talk to Nari about. Seokjin had been on the verge, dozens of times, of just breaking the ice and chatting with his best friend while he sat in cold European towns and watched Taehyung get his heart broken over and over again by Dilara Komyshan.

At least we’re not that bad yet, he’d tried to tell himself. He wanted to tell her, too, that they weren’t that bad, that they were okay, that he just needed some time. But the thought of confessing his surreal daydream, of irretrievably changing their friendship felt like too much of a responsibility - especially if she didn’t respond well. Avoiding her sucked, but it beat being around her with nothing to say.

Still, saying no to her outright, when she’d asked him point blank to accompany him to something was too hard. The fundraiser thing did sound boring, but he wanted to see her, too, so badly. It felt like a missing limb, not being able to talk to her.

Nice dress, straightened hair. And he would have to be in a suit. He shudders when he remembers what happened the last time she was in a nice dress and he was in a suit.

“Namjoon.” Seokjin jogs over to the leader as they’re heading out of the building to their cars in the basement. “About this press conference on Friday.”

“Yeah?”

Seokjin hesitates, already sensing a no-nonsense mood. It hasn’t been the best day for Namjoon; the choreography was a complicated one, he was having to negotiate schedules all day, and if he’s not mistaken, he and Kaya have definitely been having some disagreement all day.

“About this press conference on Thursday -”

“Friday.”

“- I was - yes, Friday -” Seokjin clears his throat. “How important would you say it is for all of us to show up, on a scale of one to… Grammys?”

Namjoon stares. “At least VMAs.”

Seokjin nods seriously, even though it doesn’t help him in the least. “Okay,” he says, changing tacks, “how long do you think it’ll go on?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” Namjoon sighs, scrolling through some document on his phone. “It should be done by six, but there’s a sponsors’ dinner after that - but that won’t be filmed so maybe we can leave early… of course, we’ll need to let management know so they have an exit plan…” He shakes his head and continues muttering under his breath.

“Okay, sure,” interrupts Seokjin, sensing that Namjoon is starting to lose the plot. “But what time do you think the event will actually end? Because I have to be somewhere else.”

“Where?”

“Uh… a thing. With Nari,” he adds shortly. To his relief, Namjoon simply raises his eyebrows but doesn’t probe.

“I - I don’t know, hyung,” he says, not sounding apologetic at all. It’s definitely a fight with Kaya. “We won’t know until we get there. Depends on the sponsors. If it helps, it’s happening right here, in this building.”

It does help, a bit, for the location is closer to the Big Hit building than the hospital is. Still, it could be better.

“Look, I just need to tell Nari if I can make it or not,” he says, no longer beating around the bush. “I don’t want to make her a promise I can’t keep.”

Namjoon licks his lips slowly and nods. “I think you’ve been in this business long enough to know the answer to that, hyung,” he says cryptically, patting his shoulder and walking away.

“What the hell does that mean?” Seokjin demands, but Namjoon just shrugs and continues walking away.

He does know what it means, though. But you’re a coward, Kim Seokjin, says the voice inside his head, sounding like Nari’s, as he prepares to text her later that night rather than call, knowing (and somewhat hoping) that she’ll be too busy to answer right away.

Seokjin [20:11]

I have some not so great news.

To his horror, she replies almost immediately.

Nari [20:13]

Bring it.

Seokjin [20:13]

Promise you won’t get mad?

Nari [20:14]

I’m two beers and a tequila shot down. This would be the right time to give me some not so great news.

Seokjin pauses. She’s drinking, which means she got off work at a reasonable time tonight. He should be glad about that, for her, but he can’t figure out what is also bothering him about it.

Seokjin [20:16]

Oh? No surgeries?

Nari [20:16]

Nope, I’m not on call tonight. I was going to go home and crash but the others convinced me to have a drink first.

Seokjin [20:17]

Sounds like more than a drink.

Nari [20:18]

I may have gotten carried away, but zero regrets.

Seokjin [20:18]

Do you have a ride home?

Nari [20:19]

I live half a block away from the hospital. I’m sure most of these guys will crash at my place when they’re too trashed to get home.

Seokjin [20:19]

Are you sure?

Nari [20:20]

Yes. You don’t have to worry about me, you know.

She’s drunk; her transparency makes that clear. This may be the best or the worst time to give her the news, but Seokjin doesn’t think he can continue worrying about this for the rest of the night.

Seokjin [20:21]

Okay. Look, I need to talk to you about Friday.

Nari [20:21]

Something came up and you don’t think you can make it?

Seokjin’s heart jerks. He may not have met Nari much over the last few months, but he still knows her well enough to tell when she’s reaching the end of her tether.

Seokjin [20:22]

It’s a press thing. I can’t miss it.

Nari [20:23]

Of course. Unfortunate that you found out about it only today.

Seokjin [20:23]

No, it’s not that. I actually forgot. I thought it was on Thursday but it turns out it’s actually Friday. It’s my fault - I mixed up the days.

Nari [20:24]

Of course. Some other time, I guess.

Seokjin can picture her scoff, locking her phone and placing it on a bar table, screen down. He scrambles.

Seokjin [20:25]

I’m just saying I’ll be a little late.

Nari [20:25]

Late? Are you sure?

Seokjin [20:26]

Yeah. I don’t know how late but I’ll be there. I’ll try my best anyway.

Nari [20:26]

I’m sure you will.

This time, her status goes from “online” to “offline” and he knows she’s gone. This is a side of Nari he hasn’t seen in years: snide and sarcastic. It’s incredibly rare, requires a mix of things to be going wrong in her life, and has never, ever been directed at him.

Seokjin feels squeamish and guilty and helpless all at once - but he’s also beginning to get mildly annoyed. He’s determined to show up now, if for nothing else than to prove her wrong.

Take that, Nari. He pictures showing up at the event, jogging up the stairs and bursting into a hall filled with white-haired individuals in conservative finery. Nari, in the same leaf-green bridesmaid’s dress with strappy high heels, would be at the end of the hall at the bar, looking victorious at the assumption that he hasn’t shown. The crowd would part then and she would turn, the satisfied smirk fading at the sight of him, late and panting - but there.

The next moment, Seokjin cringes at this ridiculous fantasy. Even the imaginary voice in his head that sounds a bit like Nari snickers.

—

Nari fingers the strap of her dress nervously, feeling rather odd at being this dressed up around people who only ever see her in scrubs. Most of the other doctors seem to be feeling similarly, though, and she tries to coach herself to remember that they’re still the same people - just wearing make-up and cologne.

“Hey,” comes Jason’s voice from behind her, and she turns, glad to see someone she knows. “You - wow, you look amazing.”

“Really?” Nari asks quickly, smoothing down her dress. It’s long and plain black, nothing fancy, with a thin necklace and the only strappy high heels she owns. “It’s not too low cut?”

“Um -” Jason frowns and immediately looks away. “I - I don’t know. It looks - I mean, I didn’t -” He stutters in confusion, his gaze darting around in panic. “I don’t - I mean, should I look?”

“What? No, of course not.” She shakes her head and sighs. “Sorry. I’m just not used to it.”

“Used to what?”

“This,” she says, referring to nothing in particular. “The dress and the hair and the - the make-up. I don’t do it very often.” Looking up to see him still deliberately looking away, she slaps his shoulder. “Damn it, Jace, you can look at me now.”

“Oh.” He makes a big show of slowly moving his gaze towards her, grinning when she chuckles begrudgingly. “Don’t worry, dude. You look great.”

“Thanks. You, too, by the way,” she says honestly, noting the suit and the neatly brushed hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your jaw this smooth,” she remarks, turning his chin slightly.

“A last minute shave in the residents’ locker room changed the game.” Jason rubs his jaw and winces slightly. “Should I be concerned about my skills as a surgeon that I cut myself in two different places while doing it?”

Nari laughs, feeling slightly less nervous. “Not unless you’re the patient. Also, where the hell is everybody else?”

“Oh, Daeun got pulled into surgery - her motorcycle guy ruptured his spleen,” he answers, gesturing to the bartender. “She said she’d be back if it got over in time. Hyeri had to monitor her valve replacement lady to see if she’ll make it through the night. Oh, and Eunji is over there,” he adds, pointing to the other end of the hall.

Nari squints in the direction he’s pointing. “Who’s that she’s with?”

“Her boyfriend, probably.” Jason shrugs as the bartender comes over. “A chaebol type, from what I can tell. Hey. you want a drink?”

“Uh, sure. Beer. Wait, can we have beer?” She frowns.

“I don’t know. Not fancy enough, is it?”

“We don’t have beer,” volunteers the bartender.

“Right,” says Nari. “In that case, I will have a glass of your strongest… whatever is strongest.”

Jason nods seriously. “Two of those. Thank you.”

The bartender raises an eyebrow but nods anyway, going back to mix their drinks.

“So… it’s just you and me?” She leans back against the bar and scans the room. “Wait, do you have a date coming, too?”

“What?” Jason wrinkles his nose. “No. I’ve been on a neuro rotation all week - I haven’t had time to breathe, forget about looking for a date. You?”

“Have I had time to breathe?”

“Do you have a date.”

“Right.” Nari bites her lip. “Not exactly. I mean, I - I invited a friend. Seokjin - you met him, remember?”

“Yeah, of course.” Jason nods as their drinks arrive and they automatically pick theirs up. “Cheers. So why isn’t he a date?”

“Because he’s a friend.” As she says it, a terrifying possibility occurs to her: could Seokjin actually think this is a date? It would explain his random excuse to arrive “late” - if he does at all.

“He is? Really?” He looks mildly curious. “Because that night at Hyeri’s - I could’ve sworn he had a thing for you.”

Nari’s heart skips a beat. “You’re not the first person to think that,” she mutters into her glass, taking a stinging sip of what tastes like scotch. “Ugh, that’s disgusting.”

“It’s strong,” he remarks. “But I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

“Nothing.” She shakes her head, the painful humiliation of that moment after the wedding seeping into her body again. “Just… he doesn’t. Have a thing for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Really? I mean, because it seemed like -”

“Jason,” she interrupts him, needing this conversation to end. “He doesn’t. Believe me. I’m completely sure.”

For a moment, it looks like he’s going to say something else but then seems to think the better of it. Nari is thankful; reliving that moment is bad enough, but her mind is now also preoccupied with the possibility that Seokjin might be avoiding coming tonight because he thinks she’s asked him on a date - and because he’s nice and can’t reject her outright twice, he’s having to resort to half-hearted lies and work excuses.

It’s a grim thought. She and Seokjin haven’t spoken since he told her he’d try to make it - and she’d been less than gracious about it. It was the alcohol, she’d reasoned the next morning, and despite the annoyance with his flimsy attempts at avoiding her, she’d dropped him a cursory Seriously, don’t worry about it. She’d waited just long enough to get a I’ll still try my best, and tried not to think about it since.

Nari takes another sip of her disgusting drink, not sure which is worse - if he shows or if he doesn’t.

—

“There he is. Jerk.”

Seokjin’s ears perk up at Taehyung’s quiet snarl. He follows the younger member’s gaze and feels his mouth twist as well when he spots the one journalist who had pestered them relentlessly with questions, each one more backhanded than the previous one, ranging from their solo ambitions to accusations of plagiarism.

“Where’s Namjoon?” he mutters, looking around. “Let’s make sure he doesn’t run into that guy without other guests around. Or witnesses,” he adds.

“He’s over by the water,” supplies Jungkook. “I think he’s talking to one of the sponsors.”

“Let’s keep an eye on him, then,” says Yoongi dryly. “Just in case he decides to do something drastic, like get into a logically structured argument.”

Seokjin half-chuckles. He does want Namjoon to come over, partly to keep an eye on him but mostly to check when he can leave. He checks his phone; it’s almost eight. As much as Nari’s last message, days ago, hadn’t seemed at all confident that he would make it, it only made him more determined to show up.

Namjoon doesn’t come over, though. Eventually, Seokjin joins him, hoping to get a moment of his time between guests.

“Maybe you should take a break,” he suggests, after another one of the sponsors leave and Namjoon’s well-practiced public smile fades. “Eat something? Or even have a drink?”

Namjoon smiles wearily. “Thanks, hyung. Maybe later.” He runs a hand over his face. “God, I can’t wait to get out of here. Zoom date with Kaya,” he adds, answering Seokjin’s silent question.

“Then we should leave now,” he says immediately, jumping at the opportunity. “Or you’ll just get even more tired and you’ll have to cancel on Kaya.”

“Are you kidding? It’s the only thing I’ve been looking forward to all day,” he replies, shaking his head. “There’s no way I’m cancelling.”

Seokjin responds to this with a grimace; while he would ordinarily find it sweet, right now, this blatant happiness is just annoying. He tries to think of another line of reasoning that could convince Namjoon to bounce, but before he can, two middle-aged people, one man and one woman, join them.

There’s some initial greeting; Seokjin gets through it robotically while Namjoon goes from tired to charming in a microsecond. The topic predictability begins with the press conference that just took place, followed by both guests praising Namjoon for his wonderful answers that he receives with respectful gratitude.

“I’m sorry you all have to stay for the dinner,” the woman says to Seokjin while the other two speak about something else. “You’re so young; I’m sure you all have other plans tonight.”

Lady, you have no idea. But he forces a smile on his face. “We’re happy to be here. Besides, if I’m lucky,” he adds hopefully after a moment, “my plans might still be there after this.”

“Oh?” The lady seems most interested. “A fancy party you need to get to?”

“Something like that. I have to meet someone at an event.”

“Girlfriend?”

“No,” he answers hastily. “Just a friend. It’s a work thing at the hospital she works. She’s a doctor,” he adds for good measure.

To his surprise, the lady nods. “Oh, I know that. It’s a fundraiser, right? Seoul National Hospital?” When Seokjin raises his eyebrows and nods, she smiles in acknowledgement. “I have a couple of friends there, too. Those doctors do such good work - pity they don’t have the money to continue their work in peace. Your friend is smart, though,” she says after a moment, patting Seokjin’s shoulder with a knowing look, “inviting a BTS member to the event.”

Seokjin doesn’t immediately understand. “I’m sorry?”

“Well, they need the money, don’t they?” She chuckles, sounding almost impressed. “Not a lot of people have the contacts to bring in someone like BTS to be a donor.”

Something drops in his stomach. “Oh, I - I think you’ve misunderstood. She’s my friend and we - we haven’t met in a long time because we’ve both been very busy. It’s not a - I mean, I’m not a - a donor.”

The lady looks confused for a moment. “Oh. My apologies. It just seemed like a smart thing to do, you know?”

Seokjin swallows. “Sure,” he says shortly. “But, uh… it’s not like that.” He nods to himself, knowing he’s right. “Nari would never do that.”

—

Nari shuffles through the crowd to where she can see Jason with Eunji and her boyfriend, taking care not to trip in her heels. She sees them turn and spot her as she gets close, but she doesn’t have time for pleasantries.

“Incoming,” she states. All of their eyes dart up and behind her; Eunji is the first one to notice.

“Damn it. Come on, babe,” she commands her partner, taking his hand and setting off. “Let’s go dance before he gets us.” In a flash of a second, they’re both gone.

“Okay, it’s our turn,” she says hurriedly to Jason, placing her drink on the bar and gathering her long dress in her hand. “If Dr Jung gets hold of us, it’s going to be a repeat of the mixer.”

Jason grimaces. “Oh, God. You mean when he tried to recruit each of us one by one by using his holiday calendar as a selling point?”

“That’s the one. Come on, he’s already seen me, but maybe we can still make a break for it!” she whispers dramatically, getting ready to go but stopping when he grabs her wrist.

“It’s too late,” he says gravely. “We’re going to need another plan. Tell me about your craniotomy today.”

“I - what?” Nari’s eyes widen. “Did you not hear me?”

“I did. Now talk to me about something medical,” he instructs. “And make it seem like there’s a problem - like, just talk urgently. Come on,” he urges, shaking her wrist.

“Um - okay, uh, the patient came in with migraines and was having seizures so we did an MRI and found an aneurysm located in the temporal lobe of the brain -”

“That’s great,” he whispers, and Nari notices his gaze slide carefully to the left to watch Dr Jung reach them, before quickly looking back at Nari. “But his vitals still aren’t stable,” he says suddenly, at a regular volume.

Nari’s jaw drops before she realises what he’s doing. “His blood pressure is what we need to observe carefully or he’s going to need another surgery tomorrow.”

“Is there any chance the aneurysm could’ve burst anyway? Even after you clipped it?”

Nari stares, a little thrown by how convincing his acting is.

“Answer me!”

“A little over the top, don’t you think?” she mutters.

“The man is two feet behind you,” he replies, equally quietly, before tugging her closer and placing his hands dramatically on her shoulders. “What if it’s a brain bleed? What if -”

“How dare you?” She interrupts him, jabbing him in the chest. “My aneurysm was clipped perfectly, you son of a bitch!”

Jason’s eyes flicker with this unexpected turn of conversation but he plays along. “We still need to get an MRI to rule out any other complications, like a hematoma, or an air embolism or -” He pauses, craning his neck slightly, “... and he’s gone.” His shoulders relax and his hands slide off her arms.

“No way did that work,” she marvels in a low voice, turning around to check and see that he’s right.

“Of course it did. Nobody interrupts two doctors discussing a patient,” he says absently, rubbing a spot on his chest. “You may need some practice, though. I think you bruised my chest.”

“Don’t be a baby,” she tells him teasingly, asking for another drink and feeling a lot more relaxed than before. “But that was a pretty neat trick.”

“I can teach you many, young ‘un,” he says seriously, casually taking a sip of his third scotch. “But I don’t think we have the time tonight. Won’t Seokjin be here soon?”

Her drink arrives then and Nari takes it with a quiet thanks. Taking a larger sip than intended, she shakes her head. “He’s not going to make it,” she says, swallowing and wincing.

“Oh.” Jason frowns. “Did he call?”

“Nope.” Nari shakes her head, finding it a bit sad how unsurprised she is. “But he’s not going to make it.”

His frown deepens slightly and she’s sure he’s picked up on her change in tone, but she’s thankful he doesn’t mention it.

“Do you want to learn another trick then?” he offers.

Nari smiles, trying to look at the bright side: Seokjin would not have enjoyed this. He wouldn’t know anyone and he wouldn’t understand any of their conversation. A call would have been nice, but things aren’t the same anymore.

She’s here, she has a night off, and she’s not alone. It could be a lot worse.

“Sure,” she answers. “But I’m going to need to be a lot more drunk for the next one.”

—

The ETA on the map says forty minutes. Seokjin has no idea how long hospital fundraisers last, but he needs to try. He exits the building, already tired from the negotiating he had to do to leave early. It’s starting to drizzle, so he ducks into the nearest establishment - a small cafe - as he waits for his car. The traffic outside is ridiculous, though; he hasn’t the faintest idea how long it’ll actually take him to get to the fundraiser.

Nari hasn’t called or messaged, though. Neither has he, he knows, but her last message had implied such a lack of faith in his intention to show up that it had rankled him just a bit. Over the course of the week, it had festered until it’s now more of a challenge than anything else, for he can’t think of a single other reason as to why he’s going to this thing.

For Nari, says the voice weakly, sounding unconvinced. Nari, it seems, neither knows nor cares if he shows up, for all the interest she’s shown in his whereabouts. I’ll try me best, he’d said, meaning it completely, but she clearly didn’t believe it.

Seokjin sighs, mentally so exhausted that he can’t even muster the energy to be annoyed or hurt or confused right now. He’s just about to step back outside when he hears a voice he doesn’t expect.

“Can I get a bottle of water, please?”

He turns to see straight hair and a blazer, mint green this time, with the sleeves pushed up. “Seulgi?” he calls unsurely.

She turns and her eyes light up in recognition. “Hey, Seokjin. How are you?”

“Tired,” he admits. “You?”

“The same. Just trying to find the guiltiest pleasure on the menu to break my diet with tonight,” she says, pointing at the few items on the board. “It’s just been one of those days.”

“Tell me about it,” he murmurs, taking a few steps to stand beside her. “Anything catch your eye?”

“Not really. It’s just sandwiches,” she grumbles. “But I don’t really have a lot of options right now.”

Seokjin is quiet for a few seconds while she gets a bottle of water and takes a long swig from it. “I actually know of a ramen place close by. If you want. I break my diets there all the time,” he tells her.

“Really?” This time he isn’t imagining it; her eyes do light up. “How much?”

“Well… enough to feel like I’ve rebelled against the company for the night, but not so much that I can’t resume it the next day.”

“That’s the perfect amount.”

“Is that a yes?”

Seulgi grins tiredly, reminding him for a moment of Namjoon earlier tonight. “It is.” Her eyes flicker lower and her smile fades. “Oh, wait. You’re in a suit - are you going somewhere?”

Seokjin bites his lip. “I was at the press conference, and the dinner after that.”

“Oh.” She doesn’t look fully convinced. “And you were going… where?”

“Well, now I’m going to get ramen because it’s in my head.”

She cracks a smile. “I’m serious, though. You’re in a suit,” she repeats, adjusting the strap of her handbag on her shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t need to be somewhere?”

Question of the hour. But Seokjin knows that even if he does make it through the traffic, this will still be the easiest conversation he’s going to have all day.

“No. I don’t need to be anywhere.”

—

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)

#seokjin x oc #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfic #thebtswritersclub #btshoneyhive #bangtanwhq #bangtantheatrenet #bangtanbathhouse #bangtanoasis #micdropnet #hyunglinenetwrok #k-vanity #wkcnet #bts jin fanfic #bts jin angst

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mischiefmanaged71 · 2 years

Text

The Great War (6/10)

Summary: After landing in a place he has no idea about, Tom comes across someone who can finally help him get back to Manchester

Pairing: Tom Bennett x fem! reader

A melancholy consumed Y/N's thoughts, suddenly intrigued by the sway of the water in the river she sat before. Guilt stirred in her gut as they crossed closer to the border, flashes of her family, old friends and patients left behind in France while the war continued on. Making this trip was important for Doctor O'Connor could then send other people to safety, and yet, Y/N had felt she cheated out by leaving them behind in a Nazi occupied hospital.

She clasped her hands tightly, possibilities rushing over each other when Tom's voice brought her back. He eyes with concern, raising his eyebrows as he offered her a hand off the ground.

"I'll throw you in there if it means you'll talk to me about what you're thinking." He said, laughing at the deadpanned look she sent him.

"There'll be no need for that." She replied, stepping closer to the water. A silence passed for a second as she paused, turning back to him as he stepped in front of her. "I feel this...guilt weighing over me."

"For what?"

A heavy exhale left her, "I get to leave and they're trapped there. Not knowing whether today will be the day they're shot, or worse."

"Well, it's like you said. We make this trip and they know it works, it'll help more people."

"I suppose I was hoping to find some solace by helping you get there, but I'm the one needing your reassurance." She smiled sadly, averting her gaze. Tom's hand brushed her wrist, and she looked down as he gently clasped her hand.

He found her eyes, "If it's words you need, I've got plenty. You staying there another day could've been the difference between living another day or..." He clenched his jaw, "It's not safe there anymore. Don't feel guilty about living."

A moment passed and he grasped her hands, gently holding them. It was a gentle manner he wasn’t used to, one that warmed her heart as she stilled.

"I suppose...I always wonder if things would be different if my father and I had moved away. Maybe he would still be here." eyes glistening.

He hummed, "We can drain over the possibilities, but don't kill yourself over things out of your control."

Tom’s stature towered over her as she lost herself in his eyes, breathing him in. The rest of the world faded into the background, leaving the two of them in this forest together. He reached up and cupped her jaw, leaning forward to embrace her when something in her periphery shook Y/N from the notion.

Her eyes flickered to the moment, acting fast as she tackled Tom to the ground as the shot rang out. Tom shuffled, looking between her and the German soldier standing across a fallen tree with a pistol raised in their direction. The sound echoed in their ears, the sight of the soldier reloading as they both looked up. Y/N acted fast, gripping Tom’s hand as they rushed for cover, ducking through the trees on foot, far ahead of the soldier behind. The sound of her heavy breathing clogged her hearing, the thud of her steps sending vibrations through her body as they put space between them and the gunman. Another shot rang out, hitting a nearby tree as they ducked their heads, hands still locked. Tom tugged her just behind him, urging her forward through the forest. They ran for another minute, sliding between a gorge when Tom tugged her toward a small ditch, helping her fall into the space in the blind spot.

Their chests rose and fell shakily as they recovered, blood pounding in their ears. Not a moment passes and the adrenaline began to slow and Y/N could feel her senses dropping. Tom's hand hadn't her's as he glanced around carefully. They stood there for probably five minutes before he lifted her out of the ditch with a hand.

Her eyes drifted to Tom, hand falling to her side at the patch beneath her coat. Her sight was clouded by dark spots. The sound of Tom’s voice was foggy in her ears. The lack of response answer brought his attention to the woman and his entire demeanour faltered at her pallor. Her body swayed but Tom caught her waist, gasping at the feeling of blood on his hands. Her body sank to the ground, but Tom supported her weight.

“No-no, no. Stay with me, love. You’re gonna be fine.”

“Kit. In my bag.” she gasped out, as he placed her gently onto his chest. He gently removed the bag from her shoulders, rifling around for the medical kit she brought with. Tom placed his hand on her shoulder, bringing her attention back as she felt herself fading into unconsciousness.

Her eyes fell shut, “Don’t close your eyes, love. No matter what. Keep them open for me.” as he struggled to place pressure on the wound and treat it at the same time. He gently placed her hand in placement of his.

“Keep your hand here for me.” she nodded, sluggishly placing pressure on her side, feeling the pulsing of her blood pressure through the wound. Her breath grew shaky and heavier as a nausea building.

A pained gasp left her in shaky breaths as she sought out his comfort with her free hand. “I have to take your coat off, okay?”

Y/N nodded, allowing him to manoeuvre her and remove her coat off, her shirt, now crimson, plastered to her skin.

His face blanched at the sight, continuing to work nonetheless. His shaky hands unbuttoned her shirt, lifting the bottom so as to reserve some of her modesty as he worked. His hands grazed over her back, feeling no exit wound - the bullet was still inside. Still somewhat conscious, her eyes fluttered open - sensing what he was trying to do.

Her hand fluttered up, grazing his face to get his attention “Tweezers in the...last sleeve.”.

“I’ve never done this before.” his voice was shaky unlike his usual confident demeanour.

“First time for everything.” she whispered, voice so quiet he almost didn’t catch it.

“Its sterilised.” she repeated. “Get...it out. Then, stitch.” she gasped, squeezing his hand.

He caressed her cheek “I need you to stay awake, love.” he pleaded, “Please. I can’t do this on my own.”

He repeated the words, feeling helpless as she slipped under. An uncertainty sliced through his shaky breaths as Will stitched the wound shut. He wasn't a practising nor religious man, but Will prayed to God that she would stay.

***

When she woke, Y/N was covered in a thick coat, laying against a hard surface. There was a small fire going in front of her, warming her face as she turned, slowly settling into consciousness. Her head tilted and she sensed movement beneath her, head resting on a shoulder. Tom’s warm breath hit her neck as he slept. He had positioned her in front of him, encasing her in embrace to keep the cold out. His back was to a tree, certainly not too comfortable for his posture.

Tom was fast asleep from what she could tell, her hand drifting to the wound at her side, a few layers of linen between to protect her from messing with the stitches. She felt his breath pick up as he stirred from sleep, sensing she was awake.

“Mornin’” his voice rumbling across her skin.

She hummed in response.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Better. Thank you. We can rest here for a bit before moving on.”

“We’re not going anywhere until you’re better.” he was adamant, his voice sure.

“I’ll be fine in a few hours.” she rebutted.

“You were shot and bleeding out just yesterday. You need rest.”

She laughed, “I feel like we’ve almost had this conversation before.” looking at him over her shoulder. His warm breath hit her face, eyes looking into her’s, his full lips just mere inches away. Y/N reckoned she looked like death after being shot - pale, sickly, but he didn’t look at her any different. That was certain from the tender look on his face as he flickered between her eyes and lips.

“We’re equally stubborn then.”

Her eyes crinkled, “I’d wager against that. You're by far the most stubborn man I've met in my life."

“Really?” he dared, his voice barely a whisper as he felt himself inch closer.

“Definitely.” she promised, although the thought seemed to escape Y/N as her eyes fell to his lips. Her heart pounded in her ears as something shuddered in her chest and Tom lips brushed her’s. Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut as their lips brushed in a soft kiss that made her head spin. Tom deepened the kiss, a hand softly caressing her jaw. Her breath came out shakily as they separated, leaning against Tom’s forehead as his arms encased her body.

"...know how long I've been wanting to do that."

She hummed, allowing her head to fall against his chest as he stared down at her, a hand brushing the hair from the side of her face. Her eyes fluttered shut, "I suppose we can wait here for a while. We have to be careful though."

"Guess I'm more convincing than I first thought."

"Sure you are." She teased, a soft giggle escaping her throat as he nuzzled her face with his nose, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her eyes fell shut, reminiscing in the embrace as they both settled into the quiet.

"You decided what you're going to do when we arrive in Spain?"

She tilted her head to look back at him, mouth agape. She had been wanting to put off that decision precisely so as to avoid the outcome. "Well...I suppose I return to my job. Helping soldiers get on their feet."

"And what if you had another option?"

She relaxed, gazing into his blue eyes filled with hope "And what is that?"

"Come to England. Fight the war from there. It's further away from the front lines and it's safer for you."

"There's no place this war has not touched, Tom. We could die at any time."

"Yeah, but you'll be protected there. I'll protect you." He assured.

"I don't know anyone there." She admitted.

"You know me. That's enough."

Y/N smiled fondly, squeezing his hand that touched her cheek. "Let's just rest before we move onward. We have a long walk to the border."

TAGS

@pearlstiare @dothrckis @aemonds-sapphire @xcharlottemikaelsonx @amnesiiiac @khaleesihavilliard @filipinamultifandom @padfooteyes @aemondsvhagar @batsyforyou @yentroucnagol @darkarya964 @cl-0-vr @viviartsy @h3k3t @arcana-greenleaf @yummycastiel @amysnowflake92 @lauraneedstochill @ladybug0095 @rntrsna @schniiipsel

#tom bennett #tom bennett x reader #world on fire #ewan mitchell

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andydrysdalerogers · 11 months

Text

Sliding Into Home ~ Maybe I Should Have Ducked?

Pairing: MLB!Frank Adler x Abigail Hernandez (OFC)

Synopsis:

After a trade from Boston to Los Angeles, first baseman Frank Adler would seem to have it all. Money, women, an amazing niece, yes Frank should have it all. Except for one thing. One thing that left after a mistake five years ago. Los Angeles should be the chance to start over. Except she is supposed to be in Boston. Not his new medical director.

* A Frank Adler AU x Major League Baseball Story**

Warning: ANGST (i can't stress this enough), second chances, cheating, S~M~U~T!!, slow burn, drug use, abandonment issues, betrayal, domestic violence (i may have missed some), flashbacks

Dividers by me

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Wanna Feel Safe Again

Sliding Into Home Master List Main Masterlist

San Francisco is usually beautiful in late Spring. The air wasn’t sweltering yet, the flowers were in bloom.

And the rivalry with Los Angeles was in full swing.

Frank gritted his teeth at the thought of having to see Bobby Fuller again. That asshole had been traded two years after the Vegas incident and he and Frank had been at each others throats during that time. So seeing him with the Giants was hard. The Dodgers would be playing the Giants more often than he did with the Red Sox.

During the first inning, there was almost a full out brawl when the pitcher almost hit Frank in the head with an errant pitch. Frank got into his face but never made a violent move. The benches were given a warning and play continued.

Abby sat in the dugout as the trainer on the field, a responsibility that she enjoyed because not only was she involved with the team, but she was also close to Frank. They didn’t interact much, knowing the TV cameras were everywhere, but Frank gave her a side smirk every once in a while, allowing the butterflies to gather in her stomach. When he could, he gave her a gentle touch, so she knew he was there.

It seemed the game calmed down for a few innings until the top of the sixth. Frank was back at bat and observed a pitching changeup. The new pitcher, Smith, stopped to hear something from Fuller and then warmed up. Frank was curious but he let it go, concentrating on the pitch. The first one was low and inside, the second was away. Frank smirked. He knew he just needed to be patient.

Except when the fastball went wide of the box. And bounced off of Frank’s hand and into his face.

He dropped to the ground, not moving. Abby grabbed her bag and followed another trainer out to the field. “Adler? Frank? Can you hear me?” Abby looked at Dave, the other trainer. “We need to move him. Get the brace.” After fitting Frank with the neck brace, Dave and Abby carefully turned him over. “Oh Frankie,” she whispered.

Frank had blood coming from the side of his face. “Fuck,” he moaned. He blinked. “Cricket?”

“Oh thank God. Let’s get the backboard,” she ordered Dave. As the EMTs came in, she smiled down at Frank. “If you wanted my attention, there are other ways Franklin.”

“Full name treatment. I’m an injured man Cricket.” He smiled but immediately grimaced. Johnny came over to check on him. “Hey man.”

“Adler, jesus, are you ok?”

“Maybe I should have ducked?”

Abby smacks his shoulder. “We’re gonna get him checked out Storm.” They loaded him to a cart as the crowd in San Francisco clapped and Frank gave a wave.

The ride to the hospital was quick and Abby spoke with the attending physician to advise what happened. She stood back in the examination room as the doctors on call checked him over. The lead doctor came to speak to Abby. “Dr. Hernandez, it looks like Mr. Adler has a very minor concussion, a contusion on his face that will require a couple of stitches and a broken pinkie finger. My recommendation is three weeks of healing.”

Abby let out a sigh of relief. “That's better news than I had hoped for. I agree with your assessment. I will let the team know. Thank you so much.”

“We can release him in your care today but no flying for 48 hours. Let me know if you need anything else?”

“Just copies of his records for the team.” They shook hands and Abby went to Frank. “How do you feel about a small vacation?”

“That bad?”

“Broken pinkie, a small cut that needs stitches, and a small concussion. The League is putting you into concussion protocol, which is two weeks and the pinkie will need an extra week. I’m sorry love, but three weeks on the injury reserved.”

“That’s all of June,” Frank whines as he leans his head back. Abby runs her nails through his scalp gently and he lets out a hum of contentment. “Will you stay with me Cricket?” He looked at her with puppy eyes.

“I will have to work a little but yes, I can stay with you.”

“What about...”

“He’s back east with the firm. He took a case over there that will last about a month.” She bit her lip. “We’ll be fine.”

Frank kissed the inside of her wrist. “I love you.”

“I love you. Now, let’s get you discharged and to the hotel. I need to let Todd know your status and have another trainer join the team for the rest of the trip.”

When Frank and Abby arrived back at LAX, a teary Mary and Scott were waiting for them. Mary ran up to Frank and he scooped her up with his good hand. She cried into his neck, and he tried to sooth her. “Hey Nugget, its ok, I’m ok.”

Mary pulled back and squished his face between her small hands. She pushes his head around, inspecting the cut and his eyes. “Frank, you scared me.” She pushes his lips to make him smile. “You’re smiling.”

“Yeah, I scared me too. But Abby took good care of me.” He flashed a soft smile to Abby before Mary launched herself into Abby.

“Thank you, Abby, for taking care of Frank.”

“Always Nugget. I’ll always take care of my family.” She put Mary down so Frank could take her hand and she turned to Scott. “How bad?”

“She cried until you guys called. It was pretty scary.” Scott huffs. “If he wanted your attention...”

“I did not do it to get her attention,” Frank growled. “If I wanted to get her attention, I would just need to show her my...”

“Franklin!”

Scott snickered as Frank groaned. “Franklin, that’s so lame,” Mary says.

Frank looks at Abby, who blows him a kiss. He shakes his head but returns the gesture as they make it out to the car. Getting home, Frank gets to the couch and leans his head back. “Are you in pain Frankie?”

“A little, Cricket.” He grimaces. “Just feel pressure behind my eyes.”

“Yep, that’s the concussion.” Abby reaches for her bag and takes out a couple of tablets. “Here, let me get you some water.” Scott comes around with a bottle of water and Frank looks at him gratefully. He swallows the medicine and tries to close his eyes. “Baby, if you want to sleep, you should be in your room with the curtains closed. You’ll feel better, promise.”

“Will you lay with me?” he asked pathetically.

“Sure love.” She helps Frank up and into his room. She gets him down and curled up against him. “Better?” He nodded and closed his eyes. “Rest, my love. I’ll be right here.”

The next ten days were calm with Frank still recovering from his concussion. On day 12, he became restless. He woke up with his Cricket in his arms, her butt right up against his pelvis. Christ, her ass is perfect, he thinks. He lets his hand wander down, dipping below her panties. She sighs in her sleep, but Frank wants to wake her up. He pulls her leg over his hip to open her up and lets his fingertips dip into her folds. Fucking wet and warm for him, like always. He slowly sinks a finger in.

“Frankie,” she moans softly. “Baby, your head.”

“It is clear as ever Cricket. Can I have you?” She nods and Frank smiles. He adds a finger and pumps at a steady rhythm. She cries out quietly and he palms her clit. He brings her to the brink and watches as she shatters in his arms.

“Need. More,” she pants.

“Whatever you need Cricket.” Frank pushes her panties down her legs and then pushes his own boxers down, grasping her knee and pulling it back over his hip. He let his tip dance around the remnants of her release before slowly pushing in. She purrs at the stretch, and he gives a low chuckle. “Can you be quiet for me Cricket? Can you be a good girl and be quiet?” He feels her nod against his ear. He pulls back and rocks back into her and he can feel her hum at the sensation. “Good girl. Such a good fucking girl.”

Abby is lost in the sensation of Frank taking her apart slowly. He isn’t rough or fast, just taking his time, making her feel everything. She whimpers at a particularly deep thrust into her womb but she doesn’t cry out. “That's my good Cricket,” he whispers, making her clench around him. “Didn’t realize you have a thing for praise, my love.”

“Frankie,” she whispered. “Don’t be cruel.”

“Never, my love.” He ran a finger down her skin until he met her clit. He rubbed slowly, feeling her build around his cock. “Are you almost there? I know you are, can feel it.”

“Yes,” she gasped. He didn’t stop until she shattered, seeing stars as he pumped in one, two, three and released inside of her with a low groan.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Not possible.”

“Let’s take a trip.”

Abby looks from her coffee. “What?”

“Let’s go on a trip. Nug has her trip to DC this week, Scott’s heading back to Boston while she’s gone. I can’t stare at these walls anymore Cricket.”

“You’re on injured reserve Frankie, you can’t just take a trip.”

Frank pouts and gives her puppy eyes. “Please?”

“Oh so you think that just giving me eyes and a sweet little please is going to change my mind.” Abby turns back to her computer with a scoff. She misses Frank coming from behind her and sweeping her curls off of her shoulder. He presses sweet kisses to her neck and shoulders, watching her lose her head and tilt back, exposing more of her.

“I can stop, my love, and just go back to the couch.”

“N-no.” She closes her eyes as her hand cups the back of his neck. She can feel his smile against her skin.

“Just a few nights. Please.”

Abby starts to lose control of her gasps. She knows she needs to be quiet but the sensation of his lips on the column of her throat is one of the best she’s ever felt. “Ok,” she whispers as he nips her gently. “Fine, where do you want to go?”

After Mary is dropped off with the school for her trip, Frank heads to the airport to drop Scott off for his flight to Boston. “Have fun Frank,” he said with a wink.

“You too Scott.” He gave him a hug and walked back to his car. As he drove away from LAX, a sign blinked at him and an idea hit him. It was time, he thought to himself. He messaged Abby.

Frank: pack for the heat Abby: Why? Frank: I want to take you somewhere and it will be hot. Abby: I hate being hot. Frank: Humor me Abby: 😑 Fine. Frank: Love you. 😘

Abby packed her suitcase, smiling at the message Frank sent when another popped up

Mike: How’s the road trip? Abby: Fine. Mike: I miss you Abby: You too Mike: I’ll be home in a week. Abby: Ok, I’ll be home

“Fuck,” she muttered. She hated that she hadn’t had the nerve to just break it off yet. She was just scared of Mike’s reaction. Abby wasn’t normally a confrontational person. The last time she was hostile, well, she lost Frank. The memory made her sad. When she heard the door open, she shook it off and closed her case.

“Hey Cricket. All set?” Frank’s excitement was in the air.

“Yeah baby, I’m all set.” Abby smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Gonna tell me where we are going?”

He kissed her nose. “Nope. Let’s go.” He grabbed her bag and his and headed to his Camero.

“I can’t believe you still have this car.”

“I can’t believe you would think that I got rid of it.” Frank started the car and headed out. “This is my prize for getting drafted.”

“And here I thought that was me,” she replied without a thought. Frank smile dropped a little. He swallowed, wondering if this road trip idea was smart. He stayed silent, thinking about all the details and hoped that she would listen.

A few hours later, Abby’s face was in disbelief. Frank had taken them to Las Vegas. She didn’t know what to say. Why would he bring them to the very place that had broken them? Having never been to the city herself, she was awestruck at the lights and sounds. Frank pulled into a fancy one, the Bellagio and had the valet take their car and bags. He held her hand as they walked into the lobby. Abby gasped as she took in the glass flower ceiling. “Wow.”

“It is beautiful,” Frank commented. “When the team had come out here and we were walking around, I remember thinking that you would have loved this.”

“Is this... is there where...”

“No Cricket. I will never go back to that particular hotel ever again.” Frank checked them in and a hotel concierge walked them to their room. “This is one of our high roller suites, sir. If you need anything just call the desk and someone will be right up.”

“Thank you.” Frank tipped the man as Abby took in the room. It faced out to the strip and she could see the other hotels. Suddenly, what sounded like a cannon blasted water up in the air and the fountain began to dance.

“The fountain,” she squealed as Frank chuckled. She could faintly hear the remnants of a Frank Sinatra in the air as the towers of water began to dance. When it ended, Abby clapped. “That was amazing.”

“It says here that it happens every half hour to a new song until midnight so we can watch it again if you like Cricket.” Frank loved watching her as she enjoyed the show. It was something he remembered from that awful October, wishing he could have shared it with her then. “C’mon baby, let me feed you and we can take a walk.”

After a delicious meal, Frank and Abby walked hand in hand on the crowded streets. They pointed at the different signs, different characters that were walking the strip, laughing, and enjoying being just Frank and Abby. As they approached one hotel, Frank’s palms began to sweat. “Frankie?”

“Can I tell you a story? It doesn’t have a happy ending but maybe we can rewrite it.” Frank looked to his feet.

“You can talk to me about anything, love.” Abby cupped his cheek. “Take your time.”

Frank swallowed. “About five years ago, I won the big game for my team, and we came here to celebrate. I really didn’t want to because I had my amazing girlfriend and my darling little niece at home, but I didn’t want to come off as a bad team player. My best friend came with me, and we lived it up. Our captain had gotten us a couple of tables at a club, and we had fun.” Frank sighed and pointed to the club in front of the MGM. “See that sign? Its for the club we went to. This is the hotel we were staying at. Anyways, we partied and went back to the suite where some of us had been staying at.”

“Alone?” She asked, quietly.

“Me, yes. Some women approached me that night, but I refused. I wasn’t drinking as much as the rest of the guys from what I can remember. Anyways, some of the guys had brought girls back with us and the hotel had set up a bar for us to drink from. There was a pool off the balcony of the room and the girls were getting in with just their underwear. I was uncomfortable. I said that to Mike. The last thing I remember clearly was him handing me a glass of scotch. He said, ‘Adler, you earned this.’ You’re a good man to Abby and a wonderful father to Mary. Just relax and enjoy.’”

“Mike handed you that drink?”

“That’s the last one I remember. When I woke up, I was in a room, not mine. My head was splitting, and I was dehydrated. I made it to the bathroom and when I looked back, I saw the blonde. I yelled at her, asking her what the fuck she was doing in my room. She panicked and said she didn’t remember coming in there with me. Mike rushed in and told her to get out while checking over with me. I asked him what I had done, and he said, I swear, he said that I got drunk, and I couldn’t make it to my room so he put me in his.”

Abby closed her eyes. “Why would Mike lie? He had no reason to.”

“Abby, I love how you are so trusting but Mike has had it bad for you since high school. But he knew I liked you and was working up the nerve to tell you for years. But back to the story. I called Steve and asked what I should do. He was here as well with another client. He asked me to stop the girl and ask her for the truth. I did manage to stop her, ask her and promise not to go to the press. I would pay anything for it not to go to press. I needed to tell you first. Steve showed up and got an NDA in place. He talked to her and she confirmed, nothing happened.”

“But then the pictures came out.”

“Then the pictures came out. I was so angry that someone, who knows who, they violated my privacy, my trust. I was desperately trying to get to you first but by the time I landed, it was too late. You didn’t let me explain and I lost you.”

“Oh Frankie,” she cried as she pressed herself into his chest.

“I’m so sorry Cricket. I should have called, I should have done something else to stop this from happening. I lost five years with you when a simple phone call would have solved everything. I am so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too Frankie, I should have just taken a moment to listen to you. When I got those texts of those photos...”

Frank pulled back. “What texts?”

“I got an anonymous text with the photos and an audio of you just says, “I can’t tell Abby,” I thought, well I thought it was more common.”

“You don’t know who sent it.” She shook her head. “Fuck, I don’t, I don’t even know what to say. I was always going to tell you but I didn’t want to do it by phone.” He pulled her back into his arms and held her tight. “I love you Cricket. I never stopped.” He kissed the top of her head as they held each other.

Abby sighed after a while. “Take me to bed?”

Frank didn’t answer, just turned away from the hotel that ruined his life and started back to the fountain. As they walked, Abby spotted something and stopped. “Cricket?”

She pointed at the building. “We could make better memories.”

Frank stared at the building and back at his girl.

Taglist:

@patzammit @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74 @before-we-get-started @jennmurawski13-writes @tinkerbelle67 @bunnyforhim

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #chris evans fanfiction #frank adler #frank adler au #mlb au #dodger au #ofc abigail hernandez #sliding into home #chris evans #mike weiss #johnny storm #baseball au #frank adler smut #slow burn #chris evans au #cliffhanger queen

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horsetailcurlers2 · 4 months

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YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching grey’s anatomy for the first time (season FIFTEEN, bc i’m actually not sick of these yet)

-i don’t like this whole “she’s not really your sister” thing. like, it’s played for comedic effect and teddy is clearly just hormonal and panicking so whatever but i don’t like that.

-i don’t want to rehash owen x amelia. yawn. nor do i want to rehash owen x teddy. yawner.

-i like that we’re getting a *little* deeper into helms crush on meredith and that it’s not just comic relief

-why are there no doctors above the age of 45 in this entire hospital besides richard? they’re all so pretty, but at what cost?

-something is going to happen to this pregnant nurse… there’s a lot of focus on her out of the blue

-i love that almost this entire intern class is at least mildly gay

-bailey is pissing me off

-ted mosby!!! he looks a little slovenly for a date tbh. not to sound judgmental but like, she’s all dressed up and he isn’t.

-this guy is way chiller than ted mosby. i like this for her. i hope it doesn’t turn out really bad but i know it probably will

-is it worth it to watch station 19?? i kind of don’t want to tbh

-i forgot teddy was in new york until her friend passed in 9/11. i’m imagining an au in which teddy and addison knew each other in NYC in the 90s bc i think they should’ve interacted more

-the undiagnosable stomach issue is so clearly this patient’s suspicious heirloom lunch pail. like, duh.

-okay well i was wrong about that and now i’m embarrassed that i predicted that with such smug sureness and authority.

-playing “chasing cars” in spanish for the día de los muertos episode is an interesting choice. i think i like it??

-nurse debbie!!!! it’s been a while

-okay nvm that is NOT nurse debbie. they just have the same bangs

-everyone gets to have a tumor on this show. YOU get a tumor! YOU get a tumor!! and YOU get a tumor!!!

-richard no :(

-RICHARD, NO >:(

-as much as i hate the owen/amelia dynamic, i really LOVE this whole amelia and betty thing

-i DO NOT like meredith/deluca

-the only relationship that doesn’t completely bore or frustrate me right now is alex/jo but even then, they’re just kind of there, yk?

-i love that meredith has one format of outfit that she likes and that works for her and she sticks to it. relatable AF.

-why didn’t miranda just have a conversation with ben before she sprung the separation on him? he would have been more than understanding i think

-i really like teddy and koracick actually

-i’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop with betty :(

-did they change out writers and/or show runners?? the writing feels… cheesier almost? or maybe just like the emotional beats are less earned? i mean it’s always been delightfully soapy but it’s just different these past couple of seasons and i can’t put my finger on it

-betty/britney’s mom is baby from dirty dancing?????!!!!!

-alex just straight up not being able to understand the scottish accents is so fucking funny.

-i love it when bokhee has lines

-“it’s a real fire!!” alex, gleefully and wrapped in a homemade knit scarf while indoors

-richards reaction to they/them pronouns is very interesting and i think it’s definitely an accurate portrayal of how even the generally accepting and well meaning older people can sometimes struggle with that kind of stuff. like, he’s not trying to be ignorant or rude he’s just genuinely perplexed. “the world moves fast and i’m just trying to keep up”

-i SWEAR TO GOD if teddy gets back with owen instead of staying with tom i will start hitting things

-“you suffered for years bc of my brother so you should totally get together and move in with him”- megan hunt in a wig that’s almost as terrible as her advice

-nancy!!!

-the shepherd family dynamic is so interesting to me because we’ve heard about it from two different perspectives over the years (derek’s and things amelia has said mostly in PP) and what we’ve seen of them is mostly from derek and meredith’s perspective in which they seem nice if a bit overbearing.

-okay jeez kathleen is a piece of work. i’ve always liked nancy even though she is “mcbitchy”. i also can’t help but to think about how addison fit into all of this when she and derek were married lol.

-has amelia ever told her family about christopher?

-stop trying to push owen and teddy on me!!!! i hate it!!

-that is insurance fraud babe. is there not a way for them to do it pro bono or something??

-okay i can sense that teddy and owen is going to happen so i will not make any more notes about it bc all i have to say about it is some variation of “no! i hate it!”

-okay i lied because the way teddy is going about it makes me deeply upset. poor tom. also “he makes me laugh and feel safe but i don’t feel rage or passion or ecstasy” ????? i should hope you don’t feel rage??? owen hunt makes me enraged too but that doesn’t mean i want to kiss him on the mouth!!! jesus christ. just fuck tom i guess, right?

-WOAH. i was not vibing with merluca but he’s willing to go to prison for her??!!!

-there’s no way they’re really fired . meredith owns a good chunk of the hospital still, right??? not to mention there’s maybe three characters on this show that *haven’t* committed crimes/major ethical violations.

-i’ve been beefing with jackson for a few seasons now tbh

#greys anatomy #meredith grey #andrew deluca #teddy altman #guys im nearing the end of my rope w this show lmao #unless they can really hook me on new characters or something #especially. bc i’ve got spoilers about something that happens next season #taryn helm u are so real #meredith sweetheart please stop committing crimes i am begging you on my knees #maybe i will stick around until addison cameos that i know come later #these are all tagged under #greys reactions

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petri808 · 9 months

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Day 7 @flufftober “fairy lights” Twiyor family AU drabble, Modern AU not canon

It’s not uncommon by the time children reach their teenage years for them to start preferring to hang out with friends over family time. But there is one thing that Anya had not grown out of yet, a special family outing they did each June when the fire flies came around.

They’d pack up a bunch of food and a big ‘ole blanket to relax on, then head over to a large park with a stream running through at sunset located far outside of the city. The air at that time of year was always a comfortable warmth, with little chance of rain, and clear open skies. Sort of the calm before the later summer storms rolled in.

They’d set up their blanket on a shorter patch of wild grasses to watch the sun setting while they eat dinner. An electric lantern provided a mellow glow. Conversations are light as each talk about their day or other topics. Loid talked about a new patient at the hospital he was helping and Yor about a new job she’d be starting in a week. It’s the first she’s had since they adopted their daughter.

Anya chattered about a movie her and her friends has seen the previous day, but mostly about school. At Eden Academy, the academics are brutally competitive, but were tolerable with her best friend, Becky Blackbell, at her side. Anya was also excited about it being her last term of 3rd year middle school. The two girls were looking forward to moving onto high school together along with the proms and annual excursions they’ll be taking.

“We’re supposed to go to Somisomi tomorrow for ice cream,” Anya told her parents. “Becky’s gonna pick me up at 11.”

“You sure?” Yor questioned. “I can drop you off.”

“Nah, it’s okay mom. Their driver—,” Anya sat up from laying on her back. “Sweet! The fire bugs are starting!”

Yor and Loid sat up as well. “So, they are.”

Anya laid back down with her head resting on her arms behind her head. “I wonder why they only come out during summer here?”

“Well,” Loid began, “in Japan some say they’re the ancestors returning to this world.“

“For Obon season?” Anya asked.

“Yeah.” Loid confirmed. “It’s a Shinto belief.”

“But there’s other folklore,” Yor added. “Didn’t I tell you about the fairy lights when you were little?”

Anya’s face scrunched as she thought hard. “Mmm, I don’t remember very well.”

Yor leaned back on her hand while pointing at a few fire bugs gently floating around the family. “In ancient times, people thought fire bugs were ethereal creatures, like fairies and the light they emit carried messages of love.”

“Fairy light,” Anya giggled. “I guess that makes sense.”

“There’s a story,” Yor continued, “of a fire fly princess who proclaimed they would marry the first suitor who could bring them fire. So, prince, after prince from creature kingdoms all throughout the lands tried to procure fire to win her hand, but all die in the process. This also lead to some equating fire flies as the carriers of a star-crossed lovers wishes. Finally, a fire fly prince from a nearby kingdom heard of the princesses proclamation and declared that he will win her hand. So, he marches over heading a battalion of soldiers, shining bright in all their lighted glory. The princess is so delighted to have found the one to bring her such a marvelous flame that they marry and live happily ever after.”

“Aww,” Anya rolls onto her side to face her parents. “That’s so sweet even though all those other princes were dumb to die for a princess.”

“I don’t know,” Loid teased and poked Yor’s shoulder. “I’d die for your mom.”

“Loid!” Yor blushed and slapped his shoulder back in jest.

“Why am I not surprised.” Anya laughed, then tapped her chin. “Maybe I’ll use this on Damian, tell him to bring me a flame to win my hand.”

“You’ll likely scare him away instead,” Loid teased. “That boy’s a bit wea…”

“Don’t!” Anya wagged a finger at her father, cutting him off knowing how he liked to tease her crush. “I know what you’re gonna say and I think—” Just as she’s about to defend Damian, a fire bug landed on finger, yet despite her shaking it doesn’t let go.

Yor chuckled, “Maybe Damian just sent you his message of love.”

#flufftober 2023 #twiyor #twiyor drabble #twiyor fanfic #damianya #hinted #unedited #petri808

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ferel6 · 1 year

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(Tldr: new research study, got my first 12 lead ekg 🥰)

Have a new research study that I'm going to participate in, but needed to go to an initial screening to make sure I qualified for the research (you know you need to start working out/eating better when they call you in for research because your BMI is over 30 😑)

Regardless, I am still VERY excited to be a part of it. They are testing Angiotensin, which is naturally created in our bodies, but they want to see if it will help with lowering blood pressure and spark metabolism in obese patients (that's me 😓)

The screening was a blast. Had to fast for 12 hours prior, got up in the morning and brought my wife and son with me to drop them off at the zoo for the day while I completed my screening. Long car ride, lots of time to get hype. Watching them eat breakfast only got me more excited (I wasn't really that hungry and the fact that I couldn't eat was just a reminder of the coming events).

I dropped the fam off at the zoo and made my way over to the familiar parking garage and began my walk over to the vascular center, past the main hospital entrance with patients and staff milling about, past the cancer center (feeling lucky that I was here for a different reason than those poor souls), and finally past the emergency room entrance, watching an EMS crew loading up an ambulance. I've always enjoyed this walk, getting the sounds and smells of the hospital, seeing all the staff everywhere in their scrubs. Anticipation mounts.

I got up to the Clinical Research floor and the study coordinator was already waiting for me. She greeted me like I was an old friend (I've done maybe 7 study sessions with them now, so I know the two main coordinators well, and I'm starting to recognize some of the techs) and we walked past our usual room, through a set of doors, and into a less lit hallway and back rooms I'd never been in. She explained there was another patient here for the study so we had to do the screening elsewhere.

As a note, I am VERY professional when it comes to these studies. While I do them primarily because of my fetish, in the moment I internalize all of that and quash it down hard to remain neutral and keep my vitals from going haywire and throwing off the research. But going through darkened hallways into secluded, partially lit rooms full of carts and tables and wires and tubes and trays and machines, just the coordinator and me, got my mind fantasizing something fierce 😬😈

Luckily, as with all studies, we needed to sit and talk through EVERYTHING they were going to do to me during our session, today and the next if my bloodwork came back acceptable. So I had plenty of time to temper myself while she explained.

The screening would include a DXA scan, full body composition. I'd also receive a full check up from a physician at the hospital and my first 12 lead EKG (!), which the physician would need to check over to make sure it looked good. Then a quick blood draw would round out the screening.

She explained the next visit would include two IVs, one in each arm, one for the infusion of saline or the drug they were testing (blinded) and the other for blood draws during the procedure. I'd have a 3 lead ekg to monitor heartrate, a BP cuff on my arm and a finometer on my finger and strapped around my wrist, a blood oxygen monitor clipped to my ear, blood flow sensors taped to my stomach, arm and leg, and a tent-like canopy over my head to capture my breathing. Unlike some of my other studies with them, she told me I could practically sleep through this one, as it is a LOT of sitting around during infusion and just listening to my breathing, so she said most of her patients literally take a nap 😅.

While all this talk would normally not allow me to relax my anticipation, I tried my best to return dialog, asking questions and getting the coordinator to open up about why they were testing certain things, what the blood draws were for, talking to her about the research I'd already done on the drug and it's effects, and hearing her thoughts on how the study was going. The longer we talked the more I could feel my heart slowing to a much more manageable rhythm 🤭

We finally got to it, hopping up and taking my shoes and socks off for height and weight, then straight over to the table for my first full fledged EKG!! As you can see on my channel here, I have a 5 lead patient monitor, and I've been to other studies where they used a 3 lead, but I've never had the pleasure of a full 12 lead reading before.

The coordinator dragged the machine over, more a printer with a keyboard than the brilliant colorful screen with the green line we all know and love. She already had the square medline electrodes attached to the leads so she set about hooking me up, a constant flow of conversation making me feel at ease and keeping me calm during something that in retrospect turned me on SO MUCH. I felt the cold sticky adhesive on my skin as she talked about how they would unfortunately pull on my hair coming off, if this had been a stress test she'd have to shave my chest because of all the sweat and movement, but it wasn't a big deal for a short resting EKG, how some of her older male patients would complain about the shave because they were going on cruises in a weeks time. Just a constant barrage of stories of her wiring up others just like me.

Once the leads were attached, she wrapped a BP cuff around my right arm and turned on a different monitor behind me, noting the beeping sound on it as the machine complaining that there was no temperature sensor hooked up, "But it broke a while ago, so we had to take it out and now it just yells at us all the time that there's none in there. But it's OK we won't have it on long, just going to take your blood pressure twice and I'll turn it back off again while your EKG is running. 138/85 a little high, it should come down, I'll run it again. Oop, EKGs printing, let's take a look. Oh looks great, but we'll still need to call the physician up to check it over, I'll text him now while I run the other blood pressure check. Ok, messaged, 133/86 better, better."

See what I mean? Constant stream of conversation. She's awesome. I would chime in from time to time, noting things like "oh that BP is a bit high for me" or whatnot, but mostly I just listened and enjoyed.

With my EKG readings printed off, she came back over, unstrapped the cuff from around my arm, unclipped the leads from the electrodes and wheeled the machine back to the corner. I thought maybe I could leave the stickies on my chest this time and have a bit of fun at home later and began to pull my shirt back down, but the coordinator reminded me of my imminent DXA scan and came back over to rip the patches from my chest.

We waited for a while longer, talking again of other patients, the study, what each of the tubes of blood would be used for during the procedure, until the physician finally arrived. He was young and tall, wearing those oh so lovely pale green scrubs with a stethoscope around his neck.

We fistbumped for cleanliness as he introduced himself, talked with the coordinator about what she needed from him, then looked at my EKG printout. He confirmed everything looked fantastic, noted my BP at the top and signed it. Then he turned to me and told me to hop back up on the exam table again so he could check me over.

He got out his stethoscope and began his inspection, asking me questions about my health or telling me to take a big breath and hold it.

Another note here: I am straight, but where my medical fetish is concerned professionals, even males, can REALLY get my heart racing, so I had to slam my breaks hard to not give anything away here. Id already had my BP taken and an EKG run and now a young, fit doctor listening closely to my heart. Man that was a tough one.

Done with his stethoscope, he threw it around his neck again, brisk hands checking the pulse in my neck, both my wrists, my ankles, my feet. All while asking if I took any medications or if I had had any health concerns lately.

We finished up and he was baffled by my perfectly healthy condition 😇. He told us he NEVER gets to examine healthy patients in his line of work and it was very refreshing. I apologized for not having something wrong with me, eliciting a chuckle from all of us in the room.

He signed off my paperwork again and we walked him out of the clinic on our way to the DXA scan. We talked the whole way, him asking if this was my first study (the coordinator cutting in "No he's one of our regulars!" 🥰) asking if I was close to the facility (told him I'm about two hours away, "Wow! That's far! Well thank you so much for the help with these studies!")

We parted ways and the coordinator led me to a tiny room with a bed and a scanner over top of it. I changed into shorts and laid on the bed while she got the program under way. 7 minutes of lying stock still while the bed moved me around, taking the whole composition of my body (it's a very light x-ray). She printed an extra copy of my body comp (if you ever need motivation to get fit...go get a DXA. It is the most unflattering picture ever).

Then we went back to our room and she had me hop up on the bed again for the final thing: a blood draw. She told me it'd be quick and mostly painless, as she only needed two vials and was just using a butterfly needle.

A pro as always, strapped a tourniquet around my arm, cold alcohol wipe, a quick flash and her stream of conversation started back up as she pushed on my bicep to get the blood flowing through the tubes.

She wrapped my arm up and sent me on my way with my packets of paperwork.

The whole day was over in like an hour and a half, but was just so....chill. So relaxed. I'll update again on how my study goes once I go through that date, but I was just so excited to be examined, poked, prodded, carefully scrutinized again. And for my first ever full EKG.

These will always be long winded posts cause I need to get my feelings out, decompress. Feel free to message me to talk about similar experiences or if you have questions. Ya know...if you read this far 😅. I love talking to people about these feelings!

#ekg #cardiophile

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crispysoupwonderland · 2 months

Text

But We're the Same, Darling: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

some nsfw, art by breadstick

cw: mental hospital setting, mistreatment of mentally ill, non-con

Mar awoke to the nurses screeching like vultures. Their eyes were hazy and they had to scratch them to get them to focus. They looked at the other bed and saw that Cassandra was already gone. Their room had a small window that only let a little bit of sunlight in, Mar hadn’t noticed how dark the whole place was until today.

They sat in the bed with its thin mattress and tissue like sheets. They curled themselves inward, tucking their knees under their chin. When were they going to leave this place? Would they ever leave this place? Mar had things to do in life, go to school, get a job…get a wife maybe. Society wasn’t accepting of homosexuality, but Mar always dreamed of running away to somewhere and living a quiet life with a wife. They started to daydream…coming home to a girl…hugging her…kissing her…

KNOCK KNOCK.

Mar’s daydreams were interrupted by a sharp knocking on the door.

“Um…hello?” Mar shifted in the bed towards the door.

A nurse opened the door and poked her head in.

“Dr. Sceleratus would like to see you for an introductory meeting. Get up and follow me” she said.

Mar slowly got out of bed and walked over to the nurse. The pair walked down the twisting corridors, filled with lost souls in off-white hospital gowns. Mar followed slowly behind the nurse, not eager to talk to a doctor.

The two finally reach a large door with a gold plaque reading Dr. Sceleratus, Head Psychiatrist. The nurse knocked on the door. The clack of dress shoes on wood approaching the door sounded off. The door creaked open just enough for the Doctor to poke his face out. He looked blankly at the nurse but slowly swept his eyes over to Mar. His eyes narrowed and a twisted smile formed on his lips.

“Come in now” he stepped to the side and held his arm out towards the room. Shutting the door quickly behind them.

Mar stepped into the office and looked around. The room featured a large desk with a model of a human brain sitting on it. There was a bookshelf filled with textbooks and medical instruments. There was even what seemed to be an examination table. Mar stood awkwardly in front of the desk, fidgeting with the hem of the gown they wore.

The doctor approached slowly from behind. Mar could hear each footstep getting closer and then suddenly the feeling of hands on their shoulders. They jumped in fear.

The doctor chuckled at their apparent fear and ran his hands down Mar’s arms and then walked to be in front of them.

“Don’t be scared darling, I’m an expert of the human mind, I can tell when you're afraid. Go on and sit on the examination table for me.” He gestured over to the metal structure.

Mar slowly obeyed and sat down on the table, their legs dangling over the edge.

“As you know, I never got to do my intake examination on you yesterday due to all…the excitement. It's something we need to do for all patients, to maintain the general health of all of our patients and to get more information on what we’re treating” he said while walking towards the table.

“So… tell me, what's going on inside that pretty little head of yours?” he asked with a sly smile which seemed to expose a pair of sharp teeth. He pressed himself against the table's edge, his hands gripping the table on either side of Mar. “I’d really like to know…” he said, his eyes moving down towards Mar’s lips.

Mars quickly moved backwards on the table and looked at the floor, staying silent. Dr.S reached out and grabbed their chin, gently forcing Mar to look back at him.

“Here, I know you might be nervous, so I'll give you a reason to trust me.” He backed away from the table. His lab coat dropped to the floor, and he slowly undid his tie and unbuttoned his white dress shirt.

Mar’s stomach dropped in fear. They slammed their eyes closed. “No, please…oh god”

“Hey look” the doctor's voice whispered. Mar opened one eye tentatively, and then the other. The doctor stood in front of them with a soft smile, his shirt unbuttoned and tie loosened. But to Mar’s surprise, a familiar sight greeted their eyes, bandages binding a chest.

Mar’s mouth opened slightly in confusion, “You’re not a man?”.

“No dear, that's my dirty little secret. No one would ever let a woman become head psychiatrist now would they? So this is how I've gotten where I am today, masquerading as a man. It’s not particularly difficult either. My nature has always drifted towards androgyny. However, the one thing about me that really does align with the traditional male sex is my desire for women and pretty things like you.”

“You’re a homosexual too?” Mar asked with a quiver in their voice, this was all so overwhelming. Their fingers picked at their lips.

“I told you we have so much in common!” Dr. S shouted with a huge smile, arms raised in the air. “And now that you know this secret about me, you can trust me with your own. Its mutually assured destruction! If I were ever to tell anyone your secrets, why, you’d be able to turn right around and tell mine.”

Dr. S sauntered closer.

“So now, tell me, when did you first find yourself with these homosexual…urges” the doctor's eyes lit up when she growled the last word.

Mar blushed in embarrassment. They quietly began to speak.

“Well, I've always liked girls, ever since I can remember. I guess I’ve had crushes on girls in some of my classes in school and work”. The image of Cassandra flashed in Mars’s mind but they continued.

“It's natural to me even though society seems to think otherwise. There's nothing wrong with being a homosexual, a lesbian, I'm healthy! There's nothing anyone can do to change me, you get that right? You won't try to change me will you?” Mar looked up hopefully at Dr. S.

“Get up,” Dr.S said, her face darkening.

Mar got up from the examination table, confused, and stood with their back to the wall.

Dr.S rushed over to them and grabbed their wrists, pinning them against the wall.

Mar’s eyes widened in shock. Dr.S was taller than them, looming over their body. Her hair covered her eyes but her mouth hung open in a smile. Mars squirmed in fear, but Dr.S was strong and easily held them in place. The doctor let out a laugh.

“Now dear, don't get the wrong idea. My number one priority is to heal the sick. Homosexuality is a disorder, and you seem to have a very extreme case. You're going to need extensive treatment from only the best, me.”

Sceleratus’s eyes rolled over Mars's body, her breathing quickened.

“And know that if you ever let any of my secrets slip, I'll never be able to cure you, and you'll never get to leave. Now be good for the doctor dear…”

She leaned towards Mar’s, like a vampire about to bite her victim. Her lips almost touched Mars’s when a knock was heard at the door.

Dr.S jumped in shock, the seductive look on her face immediately turning to one of concern. She quickly let go of their wrists and ran to put on her lab coat.

“Coming!”

She shouted in a cheery voice, messily slipping on her sleeves to her long white coat. She jogged over to open the door but stopped herself. She turned around and with a terrifying smile, put her finger over her lips and then slid her thumb along her neck, finishing the gesture by pointing at Mar. She yanked open the door, poking her head out again like before.

Mar heard the doctor talking in a hushed voice with whoever was outside and then the nervous laughter of the doctor. The door closed and Sceleratus whipped around and began to re-tie her tie. She had forgotten to straighten it.

She laughed nervously, “opps, don't want the nurse to think I'm in here foolin’ around with you now would we?”

“Well, unfortunately, our time for this morning is up, that was the nurse coming to collect you.”

Mar breathed a sigh of relief and scampered towards the door, making a wide arch around the doctor.

Without turning around, Sceleratus chirped “But don't worry darling, I'll see you bright and early tomorrow for your first treatment.”

#lesbians #lesbian #sapphic #wlw #lesbianmasc #lesbiansmut #smut #lesbianism #canonnb #nonbinary #doctor #labcoat #romance #masc lesbian

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stormneedle · 6 months

Text

Parental medical

Parents aren't easy to raise. There are six kids, yeah, but two are on the other coast, and two of us are far enough away that if we help out we need to do sleep overs. We're slowly getting it together.

So, Dad's recovering from his oh so entertaining hospitalizations from last year. Now we're working on stuff he's not been paying attention to. One is his eyesight. It's bad - he's legally blind now. And like his other drugs, he started taking his drops incorrectly. They straightened that out, and added more, so maybe we can arrest the slow failure there.

The other is that his platelets have been low for a long time, and some of his blood work was off. It's been diagnosed as Multiple Myeloma. Whee? Can't be cured, but can be managed. He started chemotherapy yesterday.

My mom is freaking out. Her sisters and brother died from cancers, and she's imagining that the chemo he's going through will treat him like it did her family. I know J and I have tried to calm her down about that, but experience is what's going to show her and not us reading about it.

Dad of course assumed it was all a scam, created by the doctors as a way to make money off him. I pointed out that the conspiracy had to include the lab workers, all the nurses and who knows how many more, so they wouldn't each be getting enough money to break the law like that. Granddaughter C joined in with nobody is that foolish to fake out one patient. So now he's willing to do it, but wants to pay nothing out of pocket. Uhm - he didn't get THAT good of an insurance package. Max will be $8000/y though.

Mom caught him when he fell (syncope?) Christmas Eve. Either that did the damage or exacerbated it, and she has a compression fracture in the thoracic spine. She's in a brace to help, and they're planning on a) getting her bones stronger and b) doing an injection of cement in the affected bone as a healing measure (kyphoplasty).

After she can feel the pain in her hip again, we can look at replacing that joint.

We're starting to have conference calls. Chat messages don't seem to be enough communication.

#parents #health issues #Multiple Myeloma #compression fracture

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hawkp · 1 year

Note

Keep a Light on For Me, Blue Moon !!

GIRL YOU CHOSE BOTH HOULIHAWK FICS. I DIDN’T TAG THE OTHER JUST TO SEE IF YOU CHOSE IT SKSKSKSKSKSKSK our Houlihawk discourse is *chefs kiss* and definitely feeds my writing.

Keep a Light on for Me

Description: With the last batch of patients sent to Seoul, the 4077th M*A*S*H was officially off of active duty. It’s their last night there, and with his mind spinning from fear for what his future holds, Hawkeye seeks comfort from a friend.

“She’d started down his neck, soft kisses making him hot. He closed his eyes, his head felt like television static, black flecks of pain and white burning passion. He wanted this, he really did, but he needed something else.”

I actually wrote half of this planned one-shot in Blue Moon but the vibes were off compared to what I was going for. I might just push myself to get it done tonight.

Blue Moon

Description: One thing that he loved about being home was the music. Elvis especially. “What a kid!” He’d told Margaret. She’d smiled at him with a curious look in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place.

“Beej,

I owe you fifty bucks.

I’m taking that position at Boston General. Charles is, much to my surprise, taking it better than I thought he would. My guess is that he’s finally getting some after his bone-dry luck back in K in our fraternity days. I couldn’t imagine getting as drunk as we did back then now. Haven’t had a drop of gin in the states! Isn’t that crazy? I’ll go for a good ol’ Pabst now and then though. They sell that over in California? What do you drink now? Do you drink? I miss drinking with you.

Now Margaret on the other hand is a bit of a puzzle. She’s been perfectly nice: same spunk, same sternness but she’s…different? I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe she changed her hair. I’ll ask her after the weekend.

Give my best to Peg and Erin. Let me know Erin’s bedtime so I don’t miss my earful. If I reach you before I start at the hospital, I’ll ask you then.

Signing Off,

Hawk

P.S. When’s Peg’s birthday?”

I actually think I spoke to you about this one! It’s a slow burn, state-side Houlihawk that starts with Hawkeye and B.J. writing letters to each other. The plan is to go from this to daily Boston General life (basically Margaret retired from the military after the war and Charles got her the job and then Hawkeye shows up and chaos ensues haha) and I also want to write a ‘coming-out’ little bit to honor the late and great DOS. Then stuff really picks up when they decide to go to a 4077th reunion at SOMEBODY’S wedding and Hawkeye/Margaret decide to drive there because Margaret has never driven down the East coast. And more and more and more but I’m a slow writer haha. The two first letters are posted on my AO3 already!

Anyone who sees this, PLEASE bully me to write on my AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/cpthawkp/pseuds/cpthawkp or my inbox here on tumblr. Thanks!

#I’m unwell #m*a*s*h #mash #hawkeye pierce #alan alda #mash 4077 #hawkeye #benjamin franklin pierce #margaret houlihan #houlihawk #loretta swit #mash fic

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chickensarentcheap · 2 years

Text

Never Gonna Be Alone: Chapter 95

Title: Concern

Warnings: a sprinkle of profanity, lots of angst

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @youflickedtooharddamnit, @tragiclyhip, @secretaryunpaid, @raith-way, @jvstjewels, @arrthurpendragon, @ocappreciationtag, @occommunity, @residentdormouse, @asirensrage, @starryeyes2000

Tag list is OPEN

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860450/chapters/106987611

I do NOT give permission for my stuff to be copied and reposted ANYWHERE. Don’t be a low down, knuckle dragging, swamp dwelling thief.

“Infected.” Shaena sighs, and rips her latex gloves off in frustration; tossing them aside and then yanking a fresh pair from a waiting box. “Not that I’m surprised. The way you’ve been pushing things.”

“You’re pushing a lot of things too. Like your luck. And the limits of my patience.”

“You know, you can get as shitty with me as you want, Tyler Rake. I see right through you. Always have. I’ve always known your bark is worse than your bite; even way back when you were an actual patient of mine. Awww, the good old days.” She snaps on the gloves and gives a devilish grin. “When I was in charge of putting a tube in and out of your dick. And I could drug you when you got too mouthy.”

“Who was mouthy? I was a goddamn delight.”

“You were something alright.” She pulls over a tray of supplies carefully wrapped in sterilized cloth; spreading the latter out across the table and then setting out each item in order of use. “I don’t know if it was a delight, mind you.”

“I always knew you got a kick out of the whole catheter thing. That you were a sadist. You liked that, didn’t ya. Watching me squirm.”

“It was nice to see a little vulnerability from you. You always alternated between stoic and silent bad ass to grumpy as fuck man child, so it was nice to get a peek at the other side. I knew you weren’t as hard core as you let on. That there was softer side lingering somewhere just under the surface.”

“I still don’t think it was right that you got your kicks out of torturing my dick, but…”

“You were always so bitchy whenever it came to catheter change time. I mean, I didn’t blame you; it’s not the most pleasant experience in the world. But it was kind of nice; enacting revenge on behalf of the night staff you terrorized. You know how scared of you they were? And you barely said two words to any of them. But you’d just look at them a certain way…” She laughs when she catches a glimpse of his face; chin dropped slightly into his chest, brow furrowed, lips fixed in a thin, stern line. “...yup…that’s it. That’s the look.”

“For what it’s worth, you made the whole experience somewhat bearable. I know I wasn’t the best patient. Hospitals and I…”

“You’re not the best bed mates, I know. Now…” She fills a large barrelled syringe with saline. “...are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way? Do you want freezing or…?”

“How bad is it going to hurt?”

“There’s an abscess under the skin. Between your third and fourth knuckle. It’s not a big one, but I still need to drain it and clean it out. Maybe open it up a bit and shove in some medical packing and…”

“Just drain it and clean it. Give me some meds. Keep away more infection.”

“Tyler, if I don’t treat this properly…”

“Do the bare minimum, give me some pills, and call it a day. I don’t have time for much else. I’ve got kids to look after and business things to take care of and I’ve got all kinds of people showing up later. Just to what needs to be done. Without making things worse.”

“You’re going to make things worse if you don’t let me take care of you the RIGHT way. I know the bare minimum has been good enough for you for most of your life, but…”

“I survived bullets to my throat and my back and caught the beating of a lifetime from an ex Marine. I think I can handle whatever you’re going to do with my hand.”

“If it’s not done properly it could lead to worse infection than this. Staph, MRSA, sepsis.”

“Like I said, clean it and give me whatever meds you need to give me to keep things under control.”

“Tyler, I know that you’re dead set on getting out there in a couple of days. I know that all that matters to you is finding Esme. I’m on your side, here. But if you don’t take care of yourself…”

“Just do what I say!” He bellows, then finds himself burdened by instant regret. He’s been on edge since the initial kidnapping; his hypervigillance at an all time high, his temper on a constant, slow boil, his last shreds of patience beginning to weaken and fray. And even during all his years as a merc and all the high pressure situations he’d been placed in, he’d never been this spent; physically and emotionally exhausted and unsure of how much he has left to give. And never this scared. “I’m sorry.” He’s quick to apologize. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I didn’t…”

“I’m surprised you’re not doing more of it, to be honest. I know you’re going through hell. Your body AND your mind. And I know you’re holding it together the best you can. But I’m worried about you. I'm trying to take care of you; so you hold up physically. If your body gives out on you…”

“Please just do what I ask, Shaena. Just do what I want you to do, okay? Because right now I’m drowning and I’m trying to keep my head above water. And it feels it isn’t enough; no matter how hard I fight or no matter how much I try to focus on the kids or how I try to distract myself. I need something to be simple and easy. So just…” He inhales a long, quivering breath. “...just do what I want. Please.”

“I’ll drain it and clean it up and patch it the best I can. I’m not a miracle worker, Tyler. And that hand is pretty busted up and without getting proper medical care…”

“Please,” he begs. “Just do what I say.”

Shaena relents; taking in a deep breath and then slowly exhaling before piercing the skin with the needle. Giving an apologetic smile when he grimaces and offers up a long and drawn out, “Fuck.”

“I remember when Esme used to bring the kids,” she attempts to keep his mind off the painful task at hand. “To the hospital. So they could spend some time with you. They were just so damn cute; all piling out of the elevator and running down the hall; just so excited about getting to see you. I remember when she FIRST brought them; all these littles one and their cute voices and their giggles just filling up the whole ward. It was such a hard place to be; illness and death all around us. And all of sudden, so much life was brought back into things.”

“I’m sure they were causing their fair share of hell.”

“Everyone loved having them there. Staff, families of patients. They were just the most adorable little things; so happy to be there to see daddy. Bragging about you to anyone who would listen. Not at all shy about saying ‘daddy kills bad people’.”

“That had to be TJ.”

“To him, it was the coolest thing in the world; his dad sticking up for good people and getting rid of bad ones. Everyone thought you were a cop. We never told anyone of course; what your real job was. Or how you ended up in the hospital to begin with.”

“I guess that would have come as a shock. Hearing something like that. Isn’t every day you cross paths with a mercenary, I’m sure.”

“You were my first. Not that it mattered to me. I didn’t care what you did for a living. All I cared about was helping you get better. And getting you back on your feet and home to your family.”

“It was a long road. And if Esme hadn't fought like hell to get me sent back here…”

“She is fierce, isn’t she? Relentless. We were always in awe of her; not afraid to put doctors in their place or kick up a fuss to get you the best care possible. She was fearless. Nothing…and no one…stood in her way when it came to taking care of you.”

He manages a smile; thinking of how -when he starts pushing her buttons- she huffs in exasperation or plants her hands on her hips and tilts her head to the side as observes him through narrowed eyes. Speaking through every movement and expression; letting him know -beyond a shadow of a doubt- that he’s treading on thin ice.

“Tiny but mighty. I found that out quick in Dhaka. Just how tough she actually is. I remember when we met; watching her as we stood in my kitchen in The Kimberley. Just this cute, tiny little thing that seemed way out of her element. I thought there was no way she was going to be able to handle things in Dhaka. No way she’d be able to hold her own against someone like Asif and his people. I tell ya, she proved me wrong. First day in. After that, I never doubted her again.”

“It’s always the ones you least expect.”

“She just looked so helpless. So meek and mild. But when it came to putting me in my place…”

“Didn’t hold back, huh?”

“Not one bit. She laid into me. It’s funny now that I look back on it; this tiny little mouse looking up at me with homicide in her eyes. I would have laughed at the time, but it shocked me; I wasn’t used to someone standing up for themselves. It was…”

“Refreshing?”

He nods. “I don’t regret it. How things started between us. Probably wasn’t the right time and definitely wasn’t the right place; a dirty hotel room in Dhaka doesn’t exactly scream romance. But nothing that felt that good could have been wrong.”

“I like to think two paths are destined to cross. And in your case, a lot of things had to take place for Esme to show up on your doorstep. On both sides of the coin. She had to leave Mark and make a new life for herself, your son had to pass away and your marriage had to go belly up. And you both had to choose the same career. What’s the chances of that? That you’d both decide to go in that direction?”

“Wasn’t much more I COULD do. Being a soldier was all I knew. But when you end up such a mess you earn yourself an honourable discharge…”

Shaena glances up from the draining of the wound. “I never knew that. That you were kicked out of the military.”

“SASR showed me the door. I was too problematic. But I’d also been too valuable for them to make it ugly. I’d served in a lot of tours, carried a lot of guys out of hot spots. Totally fucked up my body in the process. And then Austin died and I started drinking more than usual and got in a little too deep with pain meds. Just over the counter stuff, mind you. But I was enough of a wreck that I became a ‘blemish’ on their storied reputation.”

“So you lost your son, your wife, and your career.”

“In less than a year. Everything just fell apart. I didn’t have any other skills, really. I started working construction at first; something to keep my body moving and my brain from driving me crazy. But I had a temper issue and..”

She smirks. “You? A temper? Why I never.”

“It was a lot worse than it is now. I had no self control. I’d beat on a guy and not know when to stop. I WOULDN’T stop; not until someone pulled me off him. Even did a couple stints in jail; assault and battery, public intoxication. So once again, I was too much of a problem to have around. Couple months after that, I was in a bar in Fitzroy Crossing; heard an old man talking about his son being a merc and the money he was bringing in. Figured it sounded like something I could do. Easily. So I gave him my name and number and asked him to pass it along to whoever was in charge of hiring for shit like that. Nik called four days later. Wanted to meet. See if I had what it took. If I had the stomach to pull the trigger for money. And if I could survive. Got my first job two days after that.”

“And as they say, the rest is history.”

“Fifteen years later, I’m still a merc. Never thought I’d hold out this long. Thought I’d be long dead. I wasn’t exactly planning on sticking around, you know? Thought I’d get into the job and maybe last a year and then fuck up and that would be it. Someone would take me out. But…” Shrugging, he reaches for the mug of coffee and takes a swig. “...here I am.”

“Why did you hold out? This long?”

“Luck at first, I guess. I never managed to catch a bullet. And then I met Esme and suddenly I had a reason to keep going. I had someone that loved me; someone that didn’t see me as human garbage. That knew all of my deep and dirty secrets and didn’t hate me because of them. And then we found out about Millie and decided to try our hands at living together and then we got married. Now we’re thirteen years into things. I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m not going anywhere. I’m happy where I am.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“There’s still days. Where I’m not sure I want to keep going. Mostly when everything in my brain is too loud or my body is just too damn sore. Where I worry about becoming a burden to her and think maybe I should just end things so that never happens.”

“That’s the last thing she’d want. Not just you doing something like that. But you think you’re a burden. She doesn’t see you that way. She never has. Even when things were at their worst. It wasn’t a good time. Those two and a half years after…”

“Nathan. Only person who has ever broken me. In every way possible.”

“I wouldn’t say that. You’re still here. You’re still on this side of the ground. Still breathing. You didn’t give him what he wanted.”

“That was a hard time. Afterwards. Not just being in the hospital for so long. But everything that came after it. The surgeries and the complications and all of the physical therapy. Trying to get myself back to even being half the man I was. And she never made me feel like it was too much. Like I was too much.”

“That’s love. That’s loving someone with every inch and ounce of your body and soul.”

“Still blows my mind. When I think about it now. How she just totally stepped up and took care of me. I know it wasn’t easy for her; having the kids to worry about and the twins being in her belly. But she never complained. Never lost her patience. Never made me feel like I was too much for her handle. I told her to leave, you know. Gave her the option. When I was diagnosed with the mental stuff. I didn’t want to put that on her. Being that fucked in the head. Worrying about whether or not I’d snap one day and hurt her. I’d never forgive myself if that happened.”

“And what did she say? When you told her she could leave?”

“Told me to ‘get fucked’, basically. Said she wasn’t going anywhere. That leaving wasn’t even an option.”

“Would you? Leave? If it was her.”

“No. Never. Wouldn’t matter what it was. I wouldn’t even think about taking off.”

“You know, it’s amazing. You think you know everything about someone and then something comes up…”

“There’s a lot you don’t know. About me. Things that only my wife knows about. Stuff I’m not very proud of. But she’s always been the one I tell everything to. Always has been. I’ve always known that I could trust her. And she’s never once made me regret that.”

“She’s good people. We all loved her on the ward. She was always so bright and cheerful; despite everything she was dealing with. And always so appreciative; always having coffee and desserts or even meals brought to the desk for all of us. Just so thankful for how we were taking care of you. There was a big turn around in you; a few days after you got sent from Bangladesh. As soon as those little ones started coming around, it’s like a light switch turned on inside of you; you were so determined to do whatever it took to get the hell out there.”

“They were all so little then. Millie was only six. Now she’s a year and a half away from being a teenager.”

“Almost twelve going on twenty two,” Shaena laughs. “And the boys have all gotten so big. TJ is a giant. And so mature sometimes. It’s easy to forget he’s not even eleven yet.”

“He’s a little too mature. Takes on way too much. FEELS way too much. I worry about him; how things around him affect him. And he thinks he needs to step up and deal with adult problems. He told me he was worried that he couldn’t take care of me properly. Not like his mum does.”

“He said that?”

“Yeah…” He swallows noisily; desperate to rid himself of both the lump of emotion sitting square in his throat and the tears that prick at his eyes. “Sorry. I don’t mean to…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re hurting. Way more than anyone could ever imagine. You’re a man that desperately loves his wife. Don’t ever apologize for that. It’s a beautiful thing; a man that’s so big and so strong, loving and feeling as hard and as deep as you do.”

“You know, normally I’d get pissed that you even used that word. Beautiful.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a man that has a soft side. It’s not expected with someone like you. I’m sure a lot of people think you’re supposed to be a hard ass twenty-four-seven.”

“I used to think that. That I had to be that way. Esme brought it back out. The human side of me. She showed that it wasn’t dead; it was just buried and it needed to be dragged back to the surface. And once Millie was born and we found out about the boys, I realized I didn’t want my kids ending up like me. I didn’t want them having a parent that was emotionally absent. I wanted them to grow up and brag about their dad; that he was always there for them and he let them be themselves and let them rant and rave and cry when they needed to.”

“You’re both doing a great job with those kids. I know a lot of parents think they’re screwing up in some way. And I know sometimes you question it; how you’re doing with your parenting considering what a nightmare you lived with. But you’re doing amazing, Tyler. Esme brags about you all the time. To anyone who will listen. About how awesome you are with those kids and how much they adore you. Trust me; you’re doing just fine.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, my wife is a little biassed.”

“She’s just telling the truth. About the man she loves. Don’t ever doubt how you’re bringing those kids up. You and Esme are doing just fine. And the fact they get to see a mum and dad that love each other? Respect each other? That’s huge.”

Sniffling noisily, he wipes his eyes on his shoulders. “I’m a weak ass bitch. The bad guys could get me to break so easily; talking about my kids like that.”

“You’re not weak. You’re human. And you’re going through a lot.”

“I miss her. I miss everything about her. And all I can think about is what will happen if I can’t get her home. What if I never find her? What if I never see her again? What would I tell my kids? How do I tell them that their mum is never coming back?”

“You don’t have to worry about those things. Because you ARE going to find and you ARE going to bring her home.”

“I know what it’s like; growing up without a mum. And I don’t want my kids going through that. Having to live their lives without her. She’s been their one constant; always here to take care of them and hold shit together while I was out fighting bad guys. It would destroy them; losing her. And I don’t think I could survive it either.”

“I won’t be one of those people that tell you that things would be fine; that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. That you’d simply keep it together and do what you had to for the kids. That’s not reality. That doesn’t address the real issues; the grief and the loneliness and the heartache. This is someone you’ve spent over a decade with. You’ve made seven children together. Created this amazing existence. And I don’t think it does you or Esme…or how much you love one another…to simply expect you to just go on with your life.”

“I feel like I failed her. I promised her…the day we got married…that I would protect her. From anyone and anything. Until I die. And the second I leave her alone and I turn my back…”

“None of what happened was your fault, Tyler. They preyed on you. On BOTH of you. They knew they had to get you away from Esme and they knew they had to take you down quickly. Not to mention they knew all your trouble spots and went for them right away. You didn’t stand a chance.”

“If I hadn’t left her alone…”

“The outcome would have been the same. They still would have blind sided and they still would have taken you out. And she probably would have gotten hurt in the process. Esme would have fought tooth and nail to try and stop them. I’m pretty sure the outcome would have been a lot worse HAD she been outside. You know she wouldn’t have just been able to stand there while went down.”

“I keep thinking about it. Going through every step I made. Looking for a place I fucked up. Everything I did, I did keep her safe. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought it was animals. Getting into things and making a mess. There’s no way I ever could have seen that coming. Yet my brain tells me I SHOULD have; I knew Mark was out there and I knew he was trying to get close to her.”

“You still did nothing wrong. Leaving her in the cabin was the most logical thing to do. There was no reason to take her with you. Please stop beating yourself up over this. You did what you thought was best. There was no way to know what was going to happen. Don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have stopped it. They were too determined.”

“It killed me to tell her to calm down. To stop fighting. But I knew if I didn’t, they’d do some damage. Probably make me watch them kill her and then take me out. I couldn’t risk it.”

“I would have done the same thing. Had I been in your shoes.”

“And to hear her crying and screaming and…” He inhales a deep, quivering breath. “...I’m rambling. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be bothering you with this. You’ve done a lot. Helping with the kids and taking care of me.``

“You’re not rambling. And there’s nothing to be sorry for. You love your wife. You’re worried you’re never going to see her again. You’re a man with a lot going on inside his head. It’s better you get it out. Don’t bottle it up. That’ll just make things a lot worse.”

Noisily clearing his throat, he uses his good hand to raise the bottom of his t-shirt to his face, effectively clearing away the traces of tears that linger on his cheeks. And he pauses in the midst of reaching for his coffee cup when he catches movement out of the corner of his eye; Brookie lingering in the doorway that leads into the kitchen.

“What’cha doing, sweet pea?”

“I’m just hanging out.” She shoves messy dirty blond hair out of her eyes. “Just watching.”

“You keeping your distance because it’s gross or…?”

“Mumma always says not to interrupt. Not to just walk in. That we should always wait to be invited.”

“Well you’re invited.”

The four year old scampers out onto the deck, standing at the side of the table and observing as Shaena uses a second empty syringe to suck out the remaining infection. Her fascination now paired with slight worry as brilliant blue eyes survey the collection of medical supplies laid out on the table.

“Auntie Shae, what are you doing to daddy’s hand?”

“Cleaning it out.”

“How come?”

“It got infected. Some dirt must have gotten in it. So all the yucky stuff needs to be sucked out and then I have to flush it out to make sure I got it all. Want to help? Get up there on your dad’s lap; you can be my assistant. And you can keep him nice and calm. And brave. Okay?”

“Daddy’s always brave. Always. Even when he’s sad. And scared. Mumma said that’s when he is the bravest. And the toughest. ‘Cause it takes a lot to do things when you’re sad and scared. But daddy always gets them done. Even if they’re really hard.”

Wrapping an arm around his daughter’s waist, Tyler scoops her up and places her on his lap; lips meeting her temple as she leans back against him.

“I had an infection once,” Brookie says. “In my palm. I got a sliver in it and I never told anyone. I thought I could get it out myself, but it just went deeper into me. I didn’t think it would be a big deal and then eventually it would just go away on its own. Do you remember that, daddy? When I got that big sliver? When we went for a hike and you let us climb trees?”

“I remember.”

“Then I got up one morning and my palm was really sore,” she continues, using both hands to keep his one still. “And it was really red and swollen. I didn’t want mumma to freak out, so I woke daddy up instead. He’s more calm than mum. When we get busted up and stuff. Mumma loses it. She hates when we get hurt. It makes her sad.”

“Well your mum is a very sensitive person. What happened next? After you woke your dad up?”

“He got a needle and he poked at my hand and all this gross stuff came out. Just like that!” She nods down at the pus slowly filling the syringe. “So nasty! Daddy made sure he got it all. Then he put some medicine on it and wrapped my hand up and gave it a kiss and a couple days it was all better.”

“I think it was the kiss that did it. Healed it all up.”

“It definitely was. Mummy and daddy’s kisses can fix any ouchies. Even the ones we feel inside. Those ones hurt the worst, you know.”

“I do know. Unfortunately.”

“Tomorrow we’re going to see the horses. Daddy said he’d take me. Going to see the horses always cheers me up. And we haven’t seen them yet this week because of everything that’s been going on. They probably miss us. And wonder where we are.”

“You like horses, huh?”

“I LOVE horses. They’re my favourite. I even have my own. That’s how much I love them.”

“I always forget her name. What’s her name again?”

“Pumpkin-Lumpkin. But we just call her Pumpkin for short. Daddy’s horse…Bodhi…that’s Pumpkin’s daddy. Did you know that?”

“I think your mum might have mentioned that.”

“This one time, before I had my own horse, daddy and I were at a horseshow with Bodhi and this lady came up to us and told daddy she wanted her girl horse to have babies with Bodhi. ‘Cause Bodhi is super handsome. All the girl horses like him. Daddy said yes, but only if we got to have the first baby. And that’s how we got Pumpkin. She’s a nice horse; she’s cute and sassy and funny but really gentle at the same time. She looks A LOT like her dad. Like most of us look like our dad.”

“You look like your mum.”

“Except I got daddy’s hair and eyes and his skin tone. And I’m tall and skinny. Mummy’s not fat or anything, but she’s really small. That’s why Addie’s so tiny. Because she’s just like mum. The rest of us are like daddy. We even have his weird, big feet and his elf ears.”

“I do NOT have elf ears.”

“You do, dad. We all have them. Even Addie. Mumma said that her genes never stood a chance. Daddy’s were just way too strong. TJ and Millie look just like him though. And TJ is always bragging that he got dad’s butt. That all the girls like it. What do you think, Auntie Shae? Do you think my dad has a nice butt?”

“I’ve never paid attention to it.”

“‘Cause you’re scared mum will see you do it and beat you up? Mum would be alright with it. If you looked at his bum. Because you like girls. Not boys. So mum doesn’t have to worry about you stealing daddy away. I think she’d seriously hurt someone. If they even tried.”

“No one is going to steal me away. I’m perfectly happy where I am. With your mum. And all you kids. Even if you do talk too much.”

“Mum would seriously punch someone in the face if they tried to take you. She gets so mad! At those stupid ladies at the soccer park. I don’t blame her. I don’t like them either. Stop looking at my dad like that! He’s taken. He’s married to mumma. And it’s just plain gross. Looking at MY dad like that.”

“Gross? What’s so gross about it?”

“You’re my dad. That’s just gross. Knowing girls like you. In THAT way.”

“You know your mum like me. In THAT way.”

“That’s different. That’s mummy. She’s your wife. She gave you tons of kids. She loves you and you love her. So she’s allowed to like you in THAT way. But those ladies at the soccer park? Sometimes I wish mummy would just smack ‘em out. Teach ‘em a lesson.”

“Violence is never the answer.”

“Until it is. You’re the one who said that. You’re the one who told us that, remember?”

“I really have to watch what I say around you guys.”

“Especially when it’s the swears. You swear a lot. Especially in the car. When people don’t drive fast enough or use their blinker. And when guys hit on mum. You don’t like that very much.”

“What’s going on?” Addie, fresh from an afternoon nap and still clad in her Little Mermaid bathing suit, pokes her outside. “ Can I come out too?”

He nods, then moves Brookie onto one of his thighs in order to give her sister a place to sit. It wouldn’t end well; sharing daddy’s lap is an absolute necessity when you have two little girls demanding his attention at the same time.

“What are you doing, Brookie?” Addie inquires. “How come you’re holding daddy’s hand like that?”

“I’m helping. It has to be cleaned.”

“Why’s it need cleaned?”

“It got infected. Like my hand did that one time. When I had the sliver and daddy had to pull it out and patch me up. Auntie Shae had to poke a needle in his and suck the gross stuff out! Then she’s going to clean it. Make sure no yucky stuff is left.”

“Is it sore, daddy?” Addie gently pokes at the injured appendage. “ It looks sore. It’s all bruised and stuff. All purple. Mumma’s not gonna like it when she sees it. She hates when you get hurt. It makes her sad. We always try to tell her that it’s okay. You’re big and tough and you can take it.”

“Mumma is going to be pissed,” Brookie declares. “When she sees what the bad guys did to daddy. She’s gonna wanna fight ‘em.”

“I hope she does! I hope she pulls their hair and bites them and punches them in the nose and kicks them in the nuts!”

Tyler scowls. “Addie…”

“Sorry.” She gives a sheepish, apologetic smile and then corrects herself. “Balls. Kicks them in the balls.”

Giving a small chuckle, he presses a kiss to her cheek, then Brookie’s. Even in those rare moments when he’d allowed himself to daydream about becoming a dad again, he never imagined having girls. The thoughts of rough housing and contact sports easily overriding those of painting nails and fixing hair and playing Barbies. He’d never envisioned him having daughters; pretty little princesses in frilly dresses and bedrooms all done up in pink. And then Millie came along and his outlook on having girls changed; he became familiar with the bows in the hair and the tiny earrings on impossibly small lobes and the socks with frills around the ankles. She and Brookie making themselves known as ‘tomboys’ fairly early; mixing their love of glitter and sparkles with action figures and camouflage and superheroes. Addie however is the softness that he didn’t realize he so desperately needed in his life ; a pint sized diva that loves her manis and pedis and princess dresses and tea parties. Extremely sensitive and much needier than her sisters; craving her time with mummy and daddy and always wanting as much love and snuggles as possible.

“Look Addie….look…” Brookie nods at the used syringe sitting on the table. “...that’s what came out of daddy’s hand! Look how much there is!”

“Why is it yellow?”

“It’s infection. Pus. Cool, yeah?”’

“It’s gross. Reminds me of custard. I HATE custard.”

“Mmm…custard..” Brookie heaves a dreamy sigh. “When mumma gets home, I’m going to ask her to make those custard tarts. You know the ones she puts banana or strawberry slices on top of? I LOVE those.”

“I’m going to ask her to make caramel and pecan cheesecake. That’s my favourite dessert she makes. I mean, I love them all. But not like caramel and pecan cheesecake. What are you going to ask for, daddy?” He has to gather himself in order to answer; the girls’ optimism overwhelming while such a dark and dreary cloud hangs over his head. The more minutes that pass without a second phone call from K, the more his optimism begins to wan; filling him with terror and absolute dread and the worry that something horrible has happened. It’s a painful and agonizing wait, and he’s been trying to keep himself occupied; filling the time with moments with the kids. A difficult feat in itself; most caught up in their own heartbreak.

“I know what dad’s going to ask for.” TJ appears at the bottom of the steps leading up to the deck; leaning his surfboard against the railing and then shaking out his wet hair. Reminiscent of a dog emerging from a bath or a romp in the lake; his little sisters squealing when the drops land on their hair and clothes. “Pie. Poontang pie, to be exact.”

His father’s eyes narrow. “Tyler James…”

“They don’t know what it is, dad. They’re just little.”

“But I know what it is. So does your aunt. And these two are little sponges and now one of them is going to ask…”

“What kind of pie is that?” Addie inquires. “What’s it taste like? Is it sweet? Sour? Is it a fruit pie? Fruit pies are my fave. Mummy’s strawberry rhubarb pie…” She sighs dreamily. “...oh my goodness.”

Sighing, Tyler stares pointedly at his oldest son.

“I’ve never heard of that kind of pie before,” Brookie declares. “And I love pie!”

“You love food,” her sister points out. “Not just pie.”

“Food is life! But what kind of pie is it, TJ? Is it good?”

“Dad thinks so. He thinks it’s really good, actually.”

But what does it TASTE like? Fruit? Chocolate? What?”

“Whatever mum eats that day, I guess.”

Confused, Addie tilts her head to the side; watching him through narrowed eyes.

“Ads, I think it’s a code word for something,” Brookie pipes up. “Something adult. That just mummies and daddies do.”

“So it’s not real? There’s no pie named that?”

“I don’t think so. Sorry.”

“Well that sucks,” Addie pouts. “I was hoping we discovered a new dessert. And that we get to eat some. I hope mumma comes back soon; I miss her desserts.”

“I miss her period,” Brookie laments. “I miss doing stuff with her. I miss snuggling on the couch. Before bed.”

“Me too. But she’s going to come home, right? You promised she would!”

“Of course she’s going to go home. Daddy’s going to make sure of it. Right, dad?”

He nods; once more fighting back tears.

“We had a killer surf,” TJ says, breaking the sadness and tension. “The water was awesome And you should have seen the barrel Alannah caught! Like she’s been doing it forever! You know how long it took me to get my first barrel? FOREVER.”

He can’t help but smile; in possession of a lifetime of memories made in just six short years. All the hard work; the blood, sweat and tears devoted to turning a once humble dwelling into their dream home. Managing, a lot of times with their own hands, to carve out a slice of paradise; presented with an empty canvas consisting of a generous piece of land with a phenomenal view of the ocean. He’d ‘graduated’ from being a full time, right in the trenches soldier for hire; starting his own mercenary business and then watching as it exploded in popularity. His reputation and his near death experiences preceding him; helping him secure high profile clients and sending the best mercs -even those long retired- scrambling to work for him. The creation of Esme’s bookstore; helping in bringing her childhood dream to life and then watching -with the utmost pride and admiration and adoration- as she became an instant hit; well loved by both locals and tourists alike.

But nothing pulls at the heart quite like the changes in his family itself; the addition of Addie and the twins and being able to share the place of his birth with those he loves. His marriage flourishing; far away from the prying eyes and loose mouths and dark, empty souls of the people who tried so desperately to tear everything apart. seeing his children grow and thrive in his homeland; feeling pride in their continued wide eyed exuberance and intense love and wonder for their surroundings. And witnessing them indulge -with fierce determination and passionate, wide eyed amazement- in his favourite hobbies; the perfect mix of fearless and beautiful, artistic and compassionate, intelligent and precocious.

And far more than he feels he deserves.

“I will remember that moment until the day I die,” he tells his name sake. “ That’s a huge milestone; catching your first barrel. And Alannah is older than when you did it; you were only eight. That’s pretty young.”

“I was born to surf, dad. It was inevitable. I look like you, I talk like you, I act like you. ‘Course I’m going to be a bitchin’ surfer too. You’ll have to watch the video Grandpa Koen took of Alannah. It’s pretty cool.”

“You guys have been spending a lot of time together. Since Millie locked herself away from everyone. Is there something I need to worry about or…”

“Just friends!” TJ quickly interjects; a vivid and undeniable blush creeping into his cheeks and slowly spreading to the tips of his ears. “That’s it! We’re just friends! And that’s all it’s ever gonna be!”

Tyler smirks. “Are you trying to convince yourself or me?”

“I swear to God, we’re just friends! I mean, I’m sure she wants to be more than that, but I don’t. I don’t have time for girls. I’ve got lacrosse and rugby and surfing. And hockey’s going to be starting soon. When would I fit a girlfriend in?”

“Not any time soon, I hope. Because you’re not eleven yet. And that’s a little young. Your mum finds out there’s something going on…”

“There’s nothing going on. I’m a kid still! Yeah, she tries to kiss me and hold my hand and stuff. But I’m not interested!”

“You sure about that? Because I remember saying those exact same things and…”

“I am nowhere near interested in girls! I’ve got my whole life ahead of me. I’ve got a lot of shit to do. I don’t need some woman keeping me back!”

“You’re going to change your mind, trust me. I thought I was going to be a bachelor until my dying day, but…”

“That’s different. You met mum. How many girls out there are like her? I mean, look what she did; staying behind on the bridge and saving your life. If I don’t meet someone with that kind of balls and devotion, I’m staying single forever.”

“Your mum’s definitely a breed all her own. I hadn’t met anyone like her before, that’s for sure.”

“That’s what I want. Someone that into me. If they’re not?” TJ shrugs, then tugs on Addie’s pigtails. “I’ll just play the field forever. Weren’t you a man hoe? Before you met mum?”

“Where do you hear this stuff?”

“I’ve got ears. People talk. Face it, dad. You got lucky. Extremely lucky. Not everyone finds someone like mum.”

“And what about her? She didn’t get lucky?”

“She did alright, I guess.” TJ teases, and then ruffles his father’s hair. Chuckling when he sidesteps a soft, playful slap to the back of his head and then rushing off to join Declan and Takota on the trampoline. Scrambling through the safety netting and then repeatedly bouncing; gaining more and more height before his final jump sends a hysterically laughing Kota flying into the air.

“It’s a good sound,” Shaena smiles. “Hearing them laugh. Gives us some hope, yeah?”

Tyler nods. Knowing full well that hope is the only thing keeping him going.

******

He finds himself unable to sleep; his mind racing a mile a minute and the bed impossibly crowded with three quarters of the kids shoved into it. All insisting on lying as close to him as possible; little bodies pressed into his sides and Declan sprawled across his feet and TJ spread across the top of the king sized mattress. He somehow manages to escape; peeling off tiny arms and removing slumbering heads from his stomach and chest and then slipping out of bed. Retreating downstairs to watch television at minimum volume; sipping a glass of scotch on the rocks and absentmindedly picking at the stitches that hold the wound on the side of his head together. And it’s nearly one in the morning when he’s joined by Millie; her eyes filled with both sleep and tears as she complained of a stomach ache. Her dirty blond hair wild and messy and her long, lean body clad in a pair of plaid pyjama bottoms and t-shirt of her mother’s; her beloved stuffed sheep Sunny tucked tightly under her arm. It had been a little gift he’d purchased for her many years ago; a new ‘baby’ she’d seen during their first trip into town after Nathan had nearly ended his life. And when he invites his daughter to sit with him she And she snuggled tightly into his side; asking him to place his warm hand on her stomach. He’d spent many nights when she was a little girl taking care of her in that exact fashion; when he’d return from a job and the stress and anxiety of seeing him hurt and beat up had been too much for her bear.

Comforted by his touch, she manages to fall asleep; stretched out along the couch with her head on his thigh. He continues to soothe her even after her eyes close and her breathing evens out; his hand resting on the top of her head and his thumb continuously sweeping over her hair. And he finds himself dozing off as well; exhausted from his body’s continuous fight against pain and his brain’s relentless attempts at torturing him. Work wise; everything had gone according to plan; those that had been called into help and others who had volunteered arriving in Australia and spending the better part of the evening checking in via text or call. Tomorrow will be busier; the trip to see the horses with Brookie followed by a team meeting once returning home.

His cell rings; startling him awake. And he grimaces at the pain that radiates across his lower back when he leans forward to snatch it from its resting place on the cluttered coffee table.

“Yeah?”

“Tyler?”

The sound of her voice renders him speechless; stomach clenching as that punishing, impossible weight once more returns to his chest. The full reality of the situation hitting him at all once; her absence and the enormous void it leaves in his life, the profound worry of the treatment she may be being subjected to, and the worry that he’ll never see her again. And for a moment he can’t speak; a fist of emotion closing around his throat.

“Tyler?” Her voice is soft. Concerned. Exhausted. But there’s a hint of brightness that wasn’t there the day before; perhaps feeling the return of even the slightest bit of optimism. “Are you…?”

“I’m here. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. Just took me by surprise is all.”

“A pleasant surprise, I hope.”

“Always.”

“I can talk for a bit longer tonight. Everyone has gone into Fitzroy Crossing for supplies. It’s just K and I. Well there’s one other guy, but he’s drunk and passed out. He has no clue what’s going on. We were going to try to sneak out and make our way to a safe place to spend the night, but the weather’s bad here. We wouldn’t make it very far.”

“How far away are you? From Fitzroy Crossing? Did anyone mention how long it would take to get there? Did they drive? Fly? What…?”

“They drove. And it’s far enough that they have to spend the night and drive back first thing in the morning. I’m not sure exactly where we are. I just know somewhere in the Northern Territory. And you know how big it is and how far everything is spaced apart and…” Her voice cracks. “I’m sorry I don’t know. I wish I did.”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t cry. There’s nothing to cry about. I just thought if maybe you knew just a little more…”

“I don’t know where I am. How far away I am from anything. And it’s just frustrating and scary and I just want to come home. I just want to be with you. And the kids. That’s all I want. I just want to come home.”

Tears prick at his eyes. “That’s all I want, too. You here. There’s nothing I want more than that.”

“Are you okay? And be honest. I don’t need you sugar coating things for my sake. Tell me the truth. Are you alright?”

“No, babe. I’m not. I’m so far from being alright.”

“Please take care of yourself. Don’t run yourself into the ground, okay? Make sure you’re eating properly and drinking enough water and getting enough sleep and…”

“I’m a grown man, Me. I know how to do all that.”

“I know. But I also know that when you get like this…when you’re stressed and you’re anxious..you tend to forget about yourself. You hyperfixate on things. You can’t keep going like that, Tyler. You just can’t. If you take care of yourself and take your meds, you won’t be able to come and find me. And you’d never forgive yourself. You’d spend the rest of your life wondering where I am and hating yourself for not being able to bring me home.”

“It’s hard,” he admits. “So fucking hard. How can I take care of myself when all I can think about is you? When all I can concentrate on is finding you and bringing you home? How do I worry about myself when my whole world is falling apart? All I want is to get to you. Get you out of there. Away from those people and back home where you belong. How can…?”

“Tyler, listen to me. Please. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be of any use to me. Or our kids. And right now? They need you the most. They need their dad to be healthy and strong and to make them feel safe and secure. Their worlds are falling apart, too. Losing one parent would be bad enough. What would happen to them to lose BOTH?”

“I’d never let that happen. I’d never get to that point. And I’m trying, Me. I am. I’m trying so fucking hard. But when the one person that keeps you together on your worst days isn’t around? It’s hard. It’s really fucking hard.”

“You’re a strong person, Tae. The strongest person I’ve ever known. And I’m not just talking about the things you do. When it comes to the job. I’m talking about everything you’ve been through. Since the time you were just a little boy, so many things tried to destroy you. All of that stuff? Your mom dying, everything your dad put you through, everything you saw and heard and had to do while you were in the military. Austin. You’ve gone through all that and you’re still standing. You still get out of bed every morning and you fight through what’s ever going on inside of you and you give me and the kids so much love. A weaker man would have buckled a long time ago. You just keep going.”

“Because I have you. Because you’re the one that makes me strong. You’re the one that keeps me going, Esme. Especially on those days I just want to call it quits. You’ve never given up on me. Not even when I’ve wanted to give up on myself.”

“It’s because I love you. And because I believe in you. I know how strong you are. I see it every day. And maybe I play a little part, but most of it comes from you. You’ve got all this courage and this strength inside of you. You just needed someone to bring it to the surface, that’s all.”

“I get up every morning and put one foot in front of another because you need me to. So do my kids. . If I was to just give up…”

“And that is what makes you strong, Tyler. Being able to put everything aside and fight through all the bullshit because other people need you to. Don’t you realize how selfless that is? The fact you can fight through anything just for us? Just to give us a great life? That’s bravery, babe. That’s strength.”

“How do you always manage that?”

“Manage what?”

“Getting the last word. You’re the only one who’s ever been able to do that. You always have something profound to say that just shuts me right up.”

“I guess it’s just a gift,” she chides. “And it’s not particularly profound or deep. It’s just the truth. I know you, Tyler. Better than you know yourself. But I also know how to shut down those voices. Those ones inside your head that say horrible, untrue things about you. That try to convince you that you’re weak and helpless. You’re none of those things. You never have been.”

“I just feel so…lost. Stuck, even. Like I don’t know what to do or how to do it. And that’s not like me. I’ve always got a plan, you know. When it comes to handling things. I’m always able to sit down and hammer something out and then get it done. But this? I don’t know what to do, Me. I don’t know how to help you. I don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know where you ARE.”

“This isn’t a normal situation,” she reasons. “When have we ever been through something like this?”

“With you on the receiving end? Never.”

“I know it feels like it’s been forever. Since things happened. But it’s only been three days. Things are stable right now. Everything is under control here. K is keeping an eye on me and he won’t let anyone try anything funny. No one is getting remotely close to me.”

“No one’s touched you? Not even in the smallest way? They haven’t…you know…done things to you?” Fuck, it hurts to even think about; another man’s hands on her body as she’s violated in every way possible. And it both nauseates him and fuels the lingering, pent up rage; horrible and violent thoughts of the things he’ll do if she was touched in THAT way.

No. Nothing like that’s happened. For the most part, they ignore me. I mean, there’s a snide comment here and there when they bring me food. But nothing I haven’t heard before. I’ve been called way worse by way better, that’s for sure.”

“You’re taking care of yourself? The best you can? You’re eating and getting some rest and…?”

“I’m doing whatever I have to do. To stay healthy. Especially for the baby. And once I get those meds…”

“K and I are going to arrange something. Meet at the shack. So he can get everything to you. Yaz is going to put a tracker; on the bottom of one of the bottles. Small enough no one will notice. He’ll activate as soon as K leaves and heads back to whatever you. He has five days. That’s it. If he doesn’t act before then, we come and get you.”

“That’ll get ugly. A whole bunch of people showing up here. Armed. That’ll be a disaster and you know it.”

“What other choice do I have, Me? I can’t let it go for too long. More days that pass, the higher the chance they’ll find a way to get you out of the country. And if they do that…”

“They won’t try and move me. Not for a while. They know that every way out of Australia is being watched. Especially up here.”

“I can’t give it too long. I can’t. If K can’t get you out of there in five days, then I’m coming for you. And if it gets ugly…”

“I just don’t want anything happening to you. These people will fight back. And they’ll fight back hard and they’ll fight ugly. Look what they did. In Tasmania. Look how dirty they played. These people are ruthless, Tae. They’re ruthless and they’re violent and I’m worried about what they’ll do. They were supposed to kill you, you know.”

“I know. K told me.”

“He couldn’t go through with it. If it had been anyone else BUT you…”

“Guess this is the one time that it’s a good thing my reputation precedes me.”

“And once Mark finds out you’re alive? That K didn’t do what he was told? Who knows how he’s going to react.”

“Is he there?”

“Not yet. He’s arriving sometime tomorrow. I’m scared, Tyler.” The tears finally come. “I’m so scared. Of him.”

He hates the sound of her voice; the desperation and the pleading and the frequent gulps of breath that interrupt her words. It’s very seldom she gets that worked up; normally able to keep some shred of composure and strength during even the most stressful and fearful of times. And he feels so helpless; wanting nothing more than to be able to comfort her. And seek and enact revenge on her behalf. “Esme, if there’s any way you can find out more about where you are…even if you can get me close to there…”

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t even get to see the outside. When I get taken out for fresh air, I have to wear a blindfold. All I know is that we’re in the Northern Territory. That’s it. And it’s vast and it’s empty and I have no clue what I’m close to. If I’m close to anything at all.”

“Calm down, Me. Just take a breath. Try and take it easy.” He knows he should be following his own advice; his heart pounding in his chest and his stomach in knots as the rage and the fear and the worry begin to increase in intensity. The thought of her -completely vulnerable and at their mercy- is too much for him to bear; the intrusive and vile thoughts nagging at him with renewed ferocity.

“I don’t know where I am.” She sobs. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I’m ever going to see you again. If I’m ever going to see my kids. I just want to come home.”

“Please just try and stay calm. If you just let me use that chip that Yaz is going to put on that bottle…”

“I’m too scared. I don’t want you coming here. There’s too many of them. I don’t want anything happening to you.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me. What they’ve already done? That’s as far as they’re going to get. Just say it, Esme. Just tell me to get Yaz to turn on that chip right away and I will come and get you. I will follow K back to you if I have to. Just give me the go ahead and…”

“I can’t. I can’t risk things getting worse. I can’t take the chance that it will become an all out firefight. I can’t do that. I can’t risk something happening to you. Because if I don’t get back and you don’t get back, then what? What happens then? What happens to our kids?”

“Nothing that bad is going to happen. You need to trust me. You’ve trusted me with way more complicated and scary things. Remember Dhaka?”

“I won’t ever be able to forget that place.”

“You trusted me, yeah? Before you ever even really knew me. And now it’s almost thirteen years later, babe. Look at everything that’s happened in that time. Everything we’ve been through, how far we’ve come. We’re so much stronger now, Me. Every part of us. If you trusted me then…”

“I do trust you, Tyler. I’m just scared. There’s so many of them. And apparently there’s more just waiting in the wings if they’re needed. I can’t bring you into something like that. I just can’t. Because that would be like luring you here and then something would happen and I’d never forgive myself. It’s better if we wait. Until K can get me out of here.”

“I’m worried you’re not going to make it that long. At least not mentally.”

“I’ll be okay,” she promises, and there’s a slight rustling as she wipes the tears from her face. “I’m just having a hard time. I miss you. So much.”

“I miss you, too. And the sooner I can get you home…”

“It’s better if we wait,” she reinforces. “I’ll be alright. I’m just sad and tired and scared about seeing Mark. I thought I was past that. Being scared of him. I thought I got over that years ago. I worked so hard at it. WE worked so hard at it.”

“I should have told you. About him still alive. I should…”

“No. You did the right thing. We were going through so much as it was. The aftermath of Nathan, being pregnant with the twins. We were dealing with enough. We didn’t need that on top of it. I’m just worried, you know? What if all that work was for nothing? You spent so long trying to help me. You spent years trying to get me past all of that. What if it was for nothing?”

“Then I do it all over again. And it will never be nothing. All that time I spent…We spent…dealing with that stuff? It will always be worth it. Even if I have to do the same thing a million goddamn times. And you know why? Because I love you. More than I ever thought I could love someone. And YOU? You will never be for nothing.”

“I love you, Tyler. So much. I’m sorry. That I’m putting you through this. I’m sorry that…”

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You know who IS going to be sorry, though? Mark and everyone that’s helping him. I’m going to make sure he doesn’t come back. . There won’t be any resurrections. Not this time. I’ll make them pay, Esme. As brutally and as viciously as bloodily as I can.”

“I normally don’t condone or support revenge, but…”

“When I say there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, I mean it. I don’t care how much blood I have to spill. I don’t care how many bodies pile up. This is the worst thing anyone could have done. You’re off limits. You and my kids. And they’re all going to find that out the hard way.”

“Just take care of yourself until then, okay? Just heal and be healthy. Sleep. Eat. Don’t run yourself into the ground. Because then you won’t be good to anyone. And it’s not just me that needs you. Our kids need you too. They need their daddy.”

“And that’s why I haven’t gone off the deep end. Why I’m still holding it together. Somehow. Because of them. And that little bean you’ve got inside of you.”

“He’s moving a lot now. Nothing concerning. Just normal stuff. But he likes to make his presence known.”

“You’re calling him a ‘he’ now too, are ya?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a boy. Too many similarities with this pregnancy and the others. The boys always like to cause trouble. They get that from their father.”

“Come on now, we all know it’s you that’s the troublemaker. You walked into my life thirteen years ago and you turned it right upside down.”

“In the best possible ways.”

“Yeah…” He smiles. “....all the ways I like the most.”

“I really need to hear your voice. It always helps. When things are bad. It always calms me down.”

“I needed to hear yours, too. You sure you’re alright? I mean, considering…”

“I’ll be better when I’m home. Let’s stick to the plan, okay? Let’s wait for K to get me out of here. It’s for the best, Tyler. And I know it’s hard to wait. But I also know that YOU know it’s for the best. I gotta go. If I don’t hang up now, we’ll be up all night. And that asshole in the living room will be up sooner or later and if he finds out what K and I are up to…”

“Don’t hang up. Just give me a few minutes. Someone walks to talk to you. Can you do that? Just a little more time?”

“A little more,” she agrees. “What’s going on? Who…?”

“Millie…Amelia…” He gently shakes his daughter awake.

With a whimper she rolls onto her back; eyes flickering open and her brow furrowed as she sleepily gazes up at him. “Dad?”

“I need you to wake up, monkey. There’s someone you need to talk to.”

“What?” She sits up; groggily pushing hair out of her eyes and away from the sides of her face. “Someone on the phone? Who…?”

He presses the cell into her palm. “Just say hi. Trust me.”

Eyeing him suspiciously, she raises the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Millie?”

“Mum?” It comes out as a choked sob. “Mumma?”

“I miss you, sweet girl. I miss you so much. Are you okay? How are you holding up? I’ve been so worried about you.”

“I’m okay. I guess. I dunno. Dad took us out of school. So we wouldn’t have to worry about that kind of stuff right now. I’ve been doing a lot of art. To keep me busy. So I don’t think too much.”

“Art has always been your escape. And you’re so good at it. You’re a brilliant artist. You get it from your dad. He’s pretty damn talented himself. I look forward to seeing your stuff. As soon as I get home.”

“Are YOU okay? Have those guys hurt you? They haven’t done bad things to you, have they?”

“I’m alright,” Esme assures her. “I’m doing okay. I have somewhere here; he’s keeping an eye on me and keeping the bad guys at bay. So don’t you worry, alright? I’m fine. There’s someone taking care of me. You make sure you give your daddy some extra love, okay? He won’t go too deep into things, but I know he’s having a hard time. I know he’s struggling. Is it bad? Just say yes or no.”

“Yes.”

“Keep an eye on him. You know how fast he can spiral. And you know how to get him out of it. Before it gets to that point. You remember? What I taught you? When it comes to handling him?”

“I remember him.”

“Just love on him a lot. And help him. Whenever you can. He’s got a lot on his plate. He’s hurting and he’s stressed and he’s exhausted and he’s trying so hard to hold it together for you guys. That’s my husband, Millie. The love of my life. And I need him to be okay. I’m not there to help him, so I need you to step up. Can you do that?”

“I can do that.”

“Good girl. I know things have been tough for you. Things are changing. YOU’RE changing. But you’re an amazing girl, Monkey. And I love you so much.”

“I love you, mumma. And I’m sorry. That things haven’t been good. Between us. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting. Especially in New York City. I’m sorry about the things I said. I didn’t mean them. I didn’t…”

“I know you didn’t. And I know what it’s like to be your age. I know it seems like forever ago, but I was twelve too. Stuck in this crazy in between place of being a little girl and being a young woman. It’s scary and it’s crazy and your body is going nuts on you. Hang in there, baby girl. It gets better. I promise.”

“You don’t have me? For the things I said? For being so bad? You don’t…?”

“I could NEVER hate you. You’re my daughter. My first born. You’re the one who made me a mum. And you are everything I ever wanted and dreamed about. Please don’t ever forget that, okay? How much I love you.”

“I won’t. I promise I won’t.”

“I have to go. If anyone found out I was talking to you and daddy, it wouldn’t end well. You keep an eye on him, alright? Love on him. I know he’s tough and he’s strong and he’s a bad ass, but even guys like him need lots of TLC. Give him a kiss and a hug from me, okay? Tell him I love him. And tell him I said ‘I’ll see you when I see you’.”

“I will.” Sniffling, she swipes frantically at her tears. “Love you, mumma.”

“I love you too. Put daddy on the phone. Someone needs to talk to him. I’ll see you soon, Millie. I promise.”

“Someone needs to talk to you,” Millie says, as she hands her father the phone. “I think it’s the guy who’s helping mum.”

Cradling her cheek in his palm, he uses his thumb to clear glisten droplets from her face. “You okay?”

She nods.

“Come here…” Sliding his hand to the back of her head, he presses a kiss to her brow and then pulls her tightly into him. Letting her sob into his shoulder as he waits for K to pick up the phone.

#Tyler and Esme series #Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Extraction #Extraction fan fiction #Chris Hemsworth #Tyler Rake fan fic #Extraction fan fic #Esme Rake #Rake kids #Tyler Rake x OFC #Chris Hemsworth Extraction

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queen-haq · 2 years

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Fic: Alive - Part 15

Summary: Aidan traced the thin chain around his neck, rubbing the infinity pendant between his fingers. No longer a symbol of their everlasting love, it was something he touched in anger when he thought of Sage. It was the only thing of hers that still remained with him after eight years, the last possession which still connected them together. When he 4did find Sage again, and he would no matter how long it took, he planned to destroy the pendant - and her.

Taking place across two timelines, Alive tells the story of Aidan and Sage, high school sweethearts driven apart by who they are and where they come from. Once enemies then lovers, their relationship runs full circle when they meet again in the present, now prepared to destroy each other.

My Masterlist (contains links to previous parts)

Then...

The next day Aidan swaggered into the bathroom, backpack slung over shoulder. His chin jutted out with a familiar stubbornness while green-gold eyes stared back at Sage defiantly. Despite his hospitality, she knew the mask of disdain on his face was just that: a mask. She sensed the overwhelming hurt that exuded from him and it broke her heart.

Perched on the edge of the counter, she sent him a hesitant smile. "Hi."

He didn't respond.

"Did you notice the out of service sign outside?" She sent him a flirtatious smile. "You're not the only one who can bribe the janitor."

"I didn't need cash. Just used my charm to flirt with him."

"Oh." He cocked his eyebrow in amusement, and she took that as a sign of encouragement. "Come here."

"What, you don't mind looking at me now?"

"Don't be an ass."

"That’s who I am. That not good enough for you now?”

"I never said that."

"Really? 'cause that's how you were acting yesterday."

"Why? Because I didn't want you to ruin someone's life? Because I think you're better than that?"

His defiant gaze dropped to her lips, drifted down to her shoulder, then even further below. After a short pause he sauntered forward, pressed against the counter on which she sat. Close, but not touching her. She waited for him to speak, maybe meet her stare. He did neither, his focus remaining on the wall behind them.

She bit her bottom lip, pondering how to discuss her concerns with him. Aidan tended to shut down whenever he thought he was being criticised, expecting arguments to escalate into full-on angry attacks against him. And because of his bastard of a father, Aidan became defensive in unpleasant situations, openly taunting his opponent to gain the upper-hand. To get through to him and make him understand, she had to be patient, which wasn't exactly a strong point of hers.

Dropping his backpack to the ground, she held his hands and squeezed them gently. "I tend to piss off a lot of people. You already know that. What if someone wanted to get back at me and threatened me the same way?"

"I’d fuck them up.”

She took a deep breath. "And then you'd be in trouble. With the cops, with your dad." Her voice quivered. "Do you have any idea how sick I feel knowing what he does to you? And that there's nothing I can do to protect you because of the promise I made?"

He laced his fingers through her hand. "You don't need to worry about me."

"But I do. Especially when you pull stunts like this." She brought his hand to her lips, pressed a gentle kiss on his skin. "I couldn't live with myself knowing your dad hurt you because of me."

"That wouldn't be your fault," Aidan said, his eyes reflecting the gentleness he tried desperately to hide from the world. "You're not responsible for what I do."

"But you're all I have. Being with you is the only thing that gets me through all this shit."

"Really?"

"Yes."

His lips closed over hers, soft and warm, tongue playing with her, before the slow molasses stroke of the kiss advanced to something frantic, an intense rush that set her heart racing. She pulled him close, grinding her hips against his while her legs tightened around him. Fingers trembling, she started to unzip his jeans. "Condom?"

He angled back a little, eyes brimming with frustration. "No. Don't have one."

"Why not?"

"Because we're fighting. Didn't think I was going to get laid anytime soon."

"I don't want to stop."

His eyebrow quirked up. "And I do?"

Her fingers wrapped around his slick cock, moistened by the pre-cum, pumping him with a gentle but firm touch. Hard and beautiful, he groaned out loud while leaning in closer, resting the entirety of his body weight on her. He was heavy. Supporting him should have been awkward but it wasn't. His embrace was a warm blanket in the midst of a chaotic storm.

The madness took over, rendering them out of control. His rough hands reached for the panties underneath her skirt and threw them aside. "I'll pull out," he growled before biting her shoulder.

She didn't respond, propping up her right leg against the wall, allowing him to penetrate deep inside her. Her nails clawed his back, his teeth scraped her skin. The rhythm of his thrusts were unpredictable, the movements neither smooth nor gentle. He was fierce in his need to possess her and not only did she understand it, she loved it.

Her hips hurt from being pulled across the surface and she clung to his back for support, then clutched the strands of his hair, before finally gripping the edges of the counter so as not to fall off. Caught between pain and pleasure, she moaned when he squeezed her breasts, biting her nipples, licking the stretch of skin between them.

He fucked her hard and fast, and she was lost in the sheer craziness of it all, a throbbing bundle of nerves attuned to one thing only. Him.

*****

Sage stifled a groan, her body already starting to show signs of soreness. The insides of her thighs were still wet despite Aidan helping her clean up, but she ignored the uncomfortable sensation and continued to get dressed.

"You alright?" he asked, coming up behind to kiss her cheek.

She smiled at his reflection in the mirror. "I'm fine. Just a little sore."

"Sorry."

"Liar."

He grinned, biting her ear lobe. "Picking a fight again? I don't mind. I like the way we make up."

"'cause you're not the one with the bruises." She regretted the words right away, cringing at her stupidity. His wounds were far worse than her own. "Sorry."

He curved his arms around her. "Shut up," he ordered, the affection in his tone belying the harshness of his words.

Sage regarded his image for a few seconds, wondering if now was a good time to broach the subject of their fight from earlier. Then again, she had no choice in the matter. While sex had been a necessary – and wonderful – escape, the problems between them remained unresolved. "Tish looked so scared of me. I don't think she's even in school today."

"Good."

"It makes me sick to have her look at me like that. I feel horrible about it."

He didn't say anything, simply watching her.

"Didn't she ask you why you were trying to get my necklace back?" Sage prodded. "Everyone thinks you hate me."

"She knew better than to ask.”

The rigidity in his voice was hard to hear. "Aidan, I want you to delete those files."

"Why?"

"Because you might be tempted to use them and get yourself in trouble. I can't handle that. It's going to eat away at me."

"What if I promise I won't? I won't delete them but I won't post them anywhere."

She eyed him with frustration, reminding herself not to lose her temper. "Then why even keep them?"

"For my own personal collection," he snarked. "New material to jerk off to when you're not around."

He was trying to goad her; she recognized the tactic right away. Taking a deep breath, she reached back to cup one side of his face. Immediately his features softened in the mirror, surprised by the gesture. "I trust you, Aidan. If you say you won't use them against her." She shrugged her shoulders. "I believe you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Regret flashed over his face and he turned her around in his arms. His lips grazed her temple, tracing an imaginary line down her face until he dropped a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. "I'll delete them."

"You will?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I don't want you to freak out over this."

Embracing him, she gave him a warm hug. "I knew you would, Aidan. 'cause you're not that guy."

He chuckled. "No, I'm an asshole of a different breed."

"That you are, but I like it.”

"You know Tish wouldn't do the same for you, right? That bitch would fuck you over any chance she got.”

"I know. But I don't have to stoop to that level."

His eyes twinkled with mischief. "No, you'll resort to violence and break her nose instead."

"Shut up."

They shared a delicate kiss before he reluctantly pulled away. Long, lean fingers of his caressed through her hair. "I have to go. Soccer practice."

"Alright."

He grabbed his backpack and walked to the door.

"Aidan?"

He looked over his shoulder at her.

"I love you."

He smiled, then walked out. She tried not to be bothered by the fact he had yet to say the same words to her.

*****

Now...

Aidan rested his long legs up on the coffee table and stretched out an arm along the back of the couch.

"So what do you think?" Theo asked from a few feet away.

Shifting his focus to his best friend, Aidan eyed Theo as he took his sweet ass time pouring drinks. "I think it's a good thing you were never a bartender. You suck at it."

"Asshole."

"Love you too, bro," Aidan replied cheekily.

Theo sauntered closer and handed him a glass of whiskey before taking the seat across. "I meant about Cadence. Tonight was fun, right? And you guys seemed to get along okay."

"Oh, that." Aidan sipped the whiskey, thinking about the evening he just spent with Theo and his new girlfriend. Initially Aidan had been irritated to learn it wasn't going to be the two of them hitting up clubs and picking up women like they used to do in their college days; however, the night hadn't been a complete loss as Cadence turned out to be different than Theo's usual type, not at all pretentious or self-absorbed but fun and down-to-earth. "Her name is the most interesting thing about her," Aidan teased.

Theo grabbed the cushion from behind and threw it at him; Aidan caught it with his free hand.

"Get the fuck out, jackass."

Aidan smirked. "She's hot, nice, and will probably let you stick it in wherever you want without you having to beg. Happy?"

"Don't be an ass."

Theo was usually mild-tempered but the fact he was agitated meant Aidan had crossed the line. Heeding the silent warning in Theo's voice, Aidan nodded. "Sorry."

"I'm thinking about asking her to marry me."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"What's the rush? You've only been dating her for a few months."

"Forget it," Theo snapped, setting aside his glass atop the coffee table. "Cat already chewed me out over this. I don't why I thought you'd understand."

Aidan couldn't remember the last time Theo had gotten this worked up over anything, let alone a woman. "You love her?"

"Yeah, I do," Theo said with conviction.

"Then why do you care about my opinion? You want to be with the girl? Then be with her. That's all that matters. Fuck what anyone else thinks." A heavy burden seemed to lift from Theo's shoulders as relief surged across his face. It finally dawned on Aidan his best friend's feelings for Cadence wasn't of the casual variety; Theo had fallen hard for the women. "Can I tell you something?"

"Does it matter if I say no?"

"Not really."

"That's what I thought."

"I'm jealous, dude. I can't help it."

Theo stared at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"I really thought you'd ask me to marry you first. Everyone knows you always had the hots for me."

"You wish."

Chuckling, Aidan finished his drink. "I can't believe you told Cat before me. I'm not surprised she's pissed though. She hates it when everyone else is happy."

"I wasn't planning to but we hadn't talked in a while and she called me out of the blue. One thing led to another. You know how it is."

"She called to bitch about me, didn't she?"

"I hate getting pulled into your drama."

"That's why you should just ignore her."

"How am I supposed to do that when she calls me whining about how you're using her?"

Aidan glared at Theo. "You remember this is your sister, right? No one ever uses Cat. She's always the one manipulating others."

"Which is why I told her to stop wasting my time."

"Then why are we still talking about this?"

"Because you need to stop. Stop fucking her, stop talking to her, stop getting pulled into her bullshit."

"Fine. Whatever," Aidan said dismissively. He stood up and walked to the bar to grab himself another drink.

"And, for fuck's sakes, stop looking for Sage!"

Anger flooded over him, swift and potent, and Aidan had to stop himself from throwing the bottle of whiskey against the wall. "That's between Sage and me. It has nothing to do with you."

"Really? You're fucking one of my sisters, you're hunting down the other when she doesn't want to be found, and now you're showing up at my dad's and threatening him too. Tell me again how this doesn't concern me."

Turning around to face Theo, Aidan glowered at him. "Guess you heard from the old man, huh?"

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" Theo asked, sounding a lot less furious than a minute ago. "Forget about Sage. Go live your life. Be happy. You deserve that, don't you think?"

"I'll do all of that once I find her."

"Why, because things will magically go back to the way they were before she left? That's not possible, Aidan. Tell me you get that."

"I don't want to be with her," Aidan fired back. "I want her to pay. I want to destroy her. And then I can move on."

"So you keep saying," Theo sighed. "Except I know you won't hurt her. You don't have it in you. But I'm worried about how you'll deal with things once you realise she's gotten over you."

"You're wrong," Aidan said, his voice quiet but firm. "You only want to see the good in me, but I'm my father's son. I can fuck her up worse than you can imagine."

Theo approached him swiftly and grabbed him by the collar. "Stop with that bullshit. I know you. You're nothing like him."

Aidan shoved him away. "Stop psychoanalysing me, alright? I'm not in the mood."

"I've been defending you all these years, telling my dad you're not the worthless shit he thinks you are. Don't make me regret it."

"Don't bother with the guilt trip. There's nothing you can say that'll save Sage."

"This isn't about her. She might be my blood but you're my family."

"I can't let her go. I just can't."

There was a brief pause before Theo spoke again. "Then I'm done. I'm not going to stand by and watch you ruin your life anymore."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Theo clenched his jaw. "After tonight I don't want to see you again until you have your head back on straight."

Aidan used to think nothing could surprise him after Sage's betrayal but he'd been a fool – Theo's words hurt far worse than expected. "So that's it? You're choosing a half-sister you don't even care about over me?"

"Really? That's what you got out of this conversation? Obviously I should have done this sooner." Theo squinted his face with disgust. "Get the fuck out of my house."

Aidan did just that, picking up his jacket along the way and slamming the door behind him.

To be continued...

A/N - Sorry about the long delay. I’ll post the next chapter this weekend :)

#original fiction #romance novels #enemies to lovers #alive #my fics

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