#// last set of the love language series :') ♡︎

[chezlalune]

I also have a gift for you.

WE ARE คือเรารักกัน (2024) PHUM & PEEM + LOVE LANGUAGES (5/5) — GIFT GIVING

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

October 10 - Squirting

pairing: dom!WandaNat x sub!Reader

summary: Your girlfriends fuck you, and you squirt from the pleasure.

content warnings: squirting, slight overstimulation, strap-on, vibrator

word count: 1.2k+

masterlist

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! happy reading ♡

Red hair, green eyes, and an overwhelming sensation of pleasure. These were the only things you could think about, your vision swimming with black dots as your back arches. 

“Fuck, I-”

A light slap is delivered to your inner thigh. “Language, Detka.”

You inhale deeply, burying your head in the crook of Wanda’s neck. Her sweet vanilla scent wraps around your brain, and you kiss her neck as her hands resume their harsh fondling of your chest. 

Wanda is underneath you, her warm body sliding against yours with each thrust of Natasha’s hips. Your other girlfriend is pumping her strap deep inside you, causing your throbbing clit to bump against Wanda’s with every thrust. 

“Go faster, Natasha,” Wanda says, her voice commanding and causing your brain to go even fuzzier. Her fingers are strong, twisting and pinching your nipples as Natasha increases her pace. 

You can feel her fingers digging into your hips, pulling you back on her strap as she fucks you. Natasha is grunting, her voice low and raspy as she begins to speak. 

“Fuck, baby. You feel so good… no don’t muffle yourself, I want to hear your pretty little sounds while I fuck you dumb.” A hand finds your hair, wrenching your head away from the comfort of Wanda’s neck. 

Green eyes with blown pupils look back at you, a small smirk on Wanda’s face as she watches your eyebrows thread in pleasure, your mouth hanging open. A few whines escape you, before a particularly harsh thrust of Natasha’s hips causes a series of moans to claw their way from your throat.

“God you sound pathetic, all dumb and needy for me. Isn't that right? You just love being a little slut for us, don’t you, sweetheart. Say it.” 

You don’t respond right away, your head drooping slightly in Natasha’s grasp as you attempt to get some words out. Wanda’s eyes harden, her hand coming up to wrap around your throat, squeezing the sides as she raises an eyebrow. 

“Natasha asked you a question and gave you a command, sweetheart.”

Nodding quickly, you let out a small whimper at the sensation of Natasha’s strap sliding easily in and out of you. 

“Yes, I-” you cut yourself off with a moan, feeling Wanda’s warning squeeze when you don’t continue. “I love being your slut, thank you.”

The last few words are shaky and broken up with high-pitched whimpers as Natasha slams her hips against you. You can feel the tip of her strap reaching deep inside you, pleasurable bolts of pleasure causing your pussy to spasm around her. 

“Good job, pet. Why don’t you cum again as a reward?” Wanda’s voice is soft, and you look at her with pleading eyes. She tilts her head, “What, you don’t like Mommy’s reward?”

“No I love your reward I- it’s just- it feels too good,” you say, your voice soft as Natasha chuckles behind you. 

“It’s supposed to feel good, that means I’m doing something right.” 

“Why don’t I help you out,” Wanda says, reaching over towards the nightstand. You watch with wide eyes as another orgasm rises within you in response to Natasha’s harsh thrusts. Wanda’s fingers wrap around a red vibrator, and you moan at the thought. 

Bringing it over, Wanda clicks it on to a medium setting, smirking at you as she drags it over your nipples.

“When I put this on your desperate little clit, I want you to thank me, okay?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

Wanda smiles at that, moving the vibrator down to where Natasha’s strap is pumping deep inside you. You can feel your arousal leaking down your thighs and smearing all over your ass and Natasha’s hips with each thrust of her hips. 

The vibrator is placed directly on the tip of your clit, pressing down firmly and slipping around slightly from your slick arousal. 

Holy fuck does it feel good. 

“Thank you… mmphfffh. Fu- I mean… god it feels so good,” you moan out, feeling pleasure rising rapidly within you. 

The stimulation is almost too much to handle, your orgasm swelling as you hear Natasha breathing heavily behind you, her pace brutal. Wanda clicks the vibrator up again, the sensation causing your orgasm to finally tip over the edge. 

The pleasure is blinding, your body shaking as you feel your pussy clenching tightly around Natsha’s strap. She forces it deeper, hitting your oversensitive walls as the stimulation builds to an almost painful level. 

You can hear squelching sounds, her strap sliding out on accident. Natasha quickly slides it back in, rocking her hips forwards and drawing out your orgasm for as long as possible. 

“Holy shit, Wands… she squirted all over me.”

“Fuck, baby. Let me lick it all up.” Wanda begins to descend your body, letting your upper half collapse into the pillows as she positions her face beneath your dripping pussy. 

You know you must look like a drenched mess, but Wanda doesn’t seem to notice or care as she begins to eat you out fervently. You hear Natasha slide her strap into Wanda, and the bed begins to move as she begins to fuck her. 

Wanda’s tongue feels amazing against you, strong and sliding easily between your folds. She swirls it around your clit before sucking it into her mouth gently, your hips rutting against her face slightly at the stimulation. 

“Still so desperate, even when you’re tired,” she remarks, and you chuckle softly. 

You feel her move down, her tongue pressing against your entrance, slipping easily inside as she cleans you up. She runs her tongue over your inner thighs, kissing the soft skin there as she does so. 

“Fuck, Mommy’s going to cum… you just keep rutting your hips against my face, love. I want to eat you out while I cum from Natasha’s big strap,” Wanda’s words are slightly slurred, her tongue moving slower and less coordinated as she starts to moan low. 

“That’s right, cum all over my cock, Malyshka. Cum over the same cock that made our girl squirt,” Natasha says. You can hear her slamming her hips into Wanda’s, burying her strap deep inside the woman. 

That tips Wanda over the edge, her moans muffled by you as you continue to rut your sensitive pussy and clit over her mouth. Her lips close around your clit, sucking strongly as she trembles from her orgasm. You cum too, soft waves of pleasure making their way through your tired body.  

Collapsing completely, you feel Wanda shimmy out from underneath you. She moves to lay beside you, pulling you against her as Natasha slips behind you, easing her strap back into your still-dripping hole. 

You whine, wanting to rest for a bit.

“Don’t worry, detka. I just want you to cockwarm for a bit okay? You already did so well tonight, you deserve more of my cock, don’t you?”

Nodding you feel Wanda begin to hum as you bury your head in her chest. Her hands gently rub you back, and you can hear her kiss Natasha softly. 

“Just rest for a bit, love,” Wanda murmurs, “I want to watch you squirt again, and you need all your energy for that.”

Ah. Fuck. This was going to be the best (and longest)  night of your life.

[yogurtkags]

❝ DISTANT DESIRES ❞ — miya atsumu (18+)

cw. MDNI, f!reader, timeskip!atsumu, established relationship, pet names (baby, princess, darling), fluff to smut, sexting, sending risqué photos, teasing, phone sex, masturbation, language, dirty talk, not beta read word count. ~ 2.3k synopsis. atsumu’s away and misses the way you feel against his skin before a big game.

shutting down and closing your laptop, you push yourself up from the uncomfortable desk chair, groaning as you twist and turn, popping your neck and back as you stretch the tense muscles. another day at the office, done and dusted.

you switch out your fluffy fox office slippers for the black slingbacks you came in, walking towards the large floor-to-ceiling windows to take in the scene before you. the sun has set, the moon slowly coming out to play — it’s a friday night, groups of friends and couples alike take the streets to celebrate the end of a busy work week. city lights shine over the crowded roads, hustle and bustle illuminated by the vibrant colours of osaka’s nightlife.

you’d be one with the crowd below if not for the fatigue of crunch time seeping deep into your bones, it’s been one hell of a day, a week even, you’ve lost all concept of time, feeling a little more drained than usual without your love here.

the msby black jackals have a series of away games in tokyo, so naturally, atsumu’s been away for the past couple of days, and you miss him dearly. you understood why he had to go, it just didn’t make sense for him to make the commute everyday and waste precious time that could be spent resting, even if it meant still being by your side. it doesn’t make you miss him any less though, you’ve never been apart from him for more than a day since he asked you to move in with him two summers ago, and you feel it even more so now that he’s put on a ring on your finger.

casting one last look at the files and mountains of paperwork, you sigh, packing up your things and swinging your tote over your shoulder, preparing to finally leave the office. the rest of the floor is empty and the lights are dimmed, pretty much everyone in the building has already left for the night. honestly you were too busy to even notice, feeling stressed is an understatement with multiple deadlines looming.

bzzt. bzzt. your phone buzzes as you’re exiting the main elevator and walking to your parked car— 2 new messages from tsumu ♡

tsumu ♡ : hi princess tsumu ♡ : i miss you

just his name alone is enough to perk you up and put a smile on your weary face, spreading a warmth in your soul, like a fireplace crackling to life in a chilly cabin up in the northern mountains in the dead of winter.

me : hi baby me : i miss you too :(

climbing into the driver's seat, you allow yourself to sink into the leather seats, quickly shooting him a message that you'll be driving in case you take a while to respond and that you'll text him when you get home, getting the car started and heading home.

in the meantime, atsumu's sprawled out on his back over the plush ivory sheets on his queen bed, fresh out of the shower after practice and dinner with the boys, lazily toying with his phone while staring at the ceiling. he thinks the bed's much too large for just him alone, still defaulting to laying on his side of the bed — it's a force of habit that comes with living together, missing the warmth of your embrace and the scent of your strawberry vanilla shampoo lingering on what would've been your pillow.

he knows you’ve been slaving away at work while he was gone, you’re usually home by now but if you’re only just leaving the office at this hour, you’re probably clocking voluntary overtime just to clear as much off your plate as possible. you never liked bringing work home anyway.

he hopes you’ve been taking care of yourself, not that you don’t normally, but you tend to get stuck in your head sometimes when you’re busy and pushed to the limits. regardless, he always worries, despite you telling him that you’re a big girl and can take care of yourself, that he shouldn’t worry his pretty lil head about you.

atsumu thinks he has a growing distaste for away games. they usually mean that he has to be away from you, meaning he’s a tad bit more grouchy than usual, a bit more snappy, much to the team’s chagrin. there’s no point searching the stands for you when you won’t be there, no you to kiss him good luck before lining up, no you to dick down the night before for some fun, overnight loving and a good night’s sleep.

well, lady luck seems to be on his side because little did he know, you’d be coming home to find a very exciting parcel sitting at your doorstep.

you on the other hand, are slightly puzzled. strange, you didn’t receive any delivery notifications, but you won’t say no to a haul. who knows, it might just be what you need at the end of a shitty day, a little retail therapy doesn’t hurt nobody.

stepping out of your shoes and leaving your coat hung by the door, you bring the cardboard box up on your kitchen counter, carefully slicing it open with the first knife you could find. with a gasp, you lift up the contents of the box to find a very lovely set of lace lingerie. i forgot i ordered this.

in a burst of excitement, you immediately bring the dainty piece of fabric to the bedroom, peeling off your black pencil skirt and white button up. putting it on, you stand in front of floor length mirror, hands lightly tracing over the fine details of patterned lace in admiration. it’s beautiful, hugging your figure in all the right places, and you happen to know someone who would love it even more.

flicking on the light switch of your shared walk-in closet, your eyes zero-in on a green shoe box sitting in the corner of the room. it’s tucked away, no one’s ever really needed it, the contents being kept more so for nostalgic purposes, but you’re really hoping what you’re looking for is still in there.

kneeling down to open it up, you come face to face with atsumu’s high school jersey. inarizaki’s #7. perfect, just what you were looking for.

with a mischievous glint in your eyes, you put the jersey on. atsumu’s definitely grown larger and more buff in the several years since high school, but he wasn’t by any means small to begin with, the dri-fit material hanging loose on your frame and ending right by your upper thighs.

it unfortunately no longer smells like him, having been kept away for that long, but just a little spritz of his perfume should do the trick. it’s a far cry from having him here with you but it’ll do for now.

crawling into bed and getting tangled in the soft sheets, you raise the hem of the jersey just to tastefully expose your skimpily clad lower half, arching your back just a little and angling your phone to snap a photo. you’ve definitely taken more risqué photos in the past, for sure, but given you were both apart, much farther than just a short drive, you know this will be enough to set him off, leaving just enough room for imagination.

less than a minute after you hit send, your phone rings with an incoming call and checking the caller ID, sure enough, it’s atsumu.

biting back a smile, you feign innocence, propping your phone up between your ear and shoulder, picking at your manicured nails as you lean back against the soft pillows, “hi tsumu, everything okay?”

“come on, don’t play coy with me now baby, with my jersey too? you know exactly what you’re doin’.”

he is, as always, so so easy to rile up.

with a giggle, you egg him on, “i just wanted to show you what came in the mail today, isn’t it pretty?”

“it is, looks ravishing on you darling. you know exactly what i like don’t you? it’s in my favourite colour too.”

atsumu hums in delight, bringing the phone closer to his mouth and voice dropping barely above a whisper and muttering out the next few words, “though i must say, i think it looks better on the floor.”

you can’t help but bring your bottom lip between your teeth, sinful thoughts begin to run through your mind about what the night entails if this carries on. making sure he can hear your pouting through the phone, “mhmm but you’re not here to undress me, strip me of my clothes one article at a time.”

atsumu pictures you in your shared bed, mind conjuring images of you slowly peeling off your clothes, nipples perked as the cool night air hits your skin, peeking through the sheer lace fabric. he was already sporting a semi hard on, the beginning of an erection provoked by the delicious photo you sent earlier.

he can’t help but reach a hand down to touch himself over his boxers, letting out a desperate and breathy whine that you recognise all too well, “s-shit— baby, please, just help me out here.”

your eyes widened, breath hitching in your throat at the realisation, a wave of pleasure going straight to your heat.

breathing out an okay, you wiggle into a more comfortable position, bringing the collar of his jersey up to your nose and taking a deep inhale of his fragrance, closing your eyes and letting his voice and your imagination do the work for you.

your hands trail down your sides, pulling the delicate panties aside and letting your fingers brush against your clit, folds already glistening with arousal from the mere thoughts of atsumu laying in his bed, naked skin glazed with a sheen of sweat and pleasuring himself to pictures of you.

"talk to me, baby. can you describe to me what you’re doing?”

“touching myself, rubbing my clit.” you gasp, “feels good.”

“yeah? good girl, apply a little more pressure and when you’re ready, put a finger in for me?” he shakily breathes out, "i bet ya look real pretty right now."

you do as you’re told, clenching around your finger, his simple praise shooting straight to your core. oh how quickly the tables have turned, from taunting him to eagerly following his instructions without any second thoughts.

you can almost hear the wet sounds of his hand spreading the precum over his length and his strokes over his cock gradually increasing in speed, his voice breathless and broken,"that's it baby, slide another finger in?”

“that’s my good girl. imagine it's my thick fingers in your pussy right now." you moan at the delicious sensation, eyes squeezed shut as you pump your fingers in and out of your cunt. he hasn't been gone for long but you miss him so much, in more ways than one.

“i miss you so much, miss being inside you, your pretty face when you’re moaning my name, hmm?”

reaching up and rolling your nipples through the thin lace, you moan, “i do, i m-hah, miss you too tsumu!”

at this point, days worth of stress melts away as you chase your release, mind overwhelmed with pleasure as the saccharine voice of your lover leads you to an orgasm.

“i can’t wait to get back and fuck you for real, just doesn’t feel the same without you.” it’s almost like his phone is on his pillow right next to his face, sweet moans and groans tumbling out of atsumu’s mouth, straight into your ears, almost like he’s right here with you caged below him, breathing into your neck.

despite the distance, he feels so close, almost like he can touch you if he just reached forward, “keep going baby, don’t stop.”

your orgasm is building much faster than you initially anticipated, pleasure ripping through you as his wrecked voice and whimpering pushes you closer and closer to the edge as tears line your closed lids and threaten to spill over your cheeks.

“a-atsu!” you cry with urgency, grinding your sensitive bundle of nerves into the palm of your hand, barely holding on to the cusp of release. “atsu i’m gonna—“

“come on, let go f'me pretty.”

with a high-pitched cry, your body stiffens and the coil in your abdomen finally snaps, squeezing tight and releasing all over your fingers.

atsumu pictures it all too well, your muscles contracting under soft skin as you cum to his encouragement— that was the last push he needed and he’s letting out a string of expletives and sharp moans, sinking into the pale sheets as his release sputters over his stomach and lower abdomen.

the both of you lay in silence for a few moments, catching your breath as you come down from the high. you hear some movement through the phone, presumably atsumu cleaning up the mess he made on himself, before collapsing on the firm mattress again.

"man, i wish i could hold you and kiss you all over your pretty face." you can even hear the pout in his voice, heart clenching as you yearn to kiss it off his handsome face. all you can do at the moment is hum in response, wrapping your arms around a pillow and tucking your face into his jersey that you still had on, inhaling the scent of his perfume now mixed with your sweat, pretending that he’s here in bed with you.

regardless, you’re spent, the post-orgasm sleepiness paired with the long day you just had hitting you all at once and your eyes flutter shut, softly mumbling with a tired yet satisfied smile, “i love you, atsumu.”

“i love you too, princess.” atsumu sighs in quiet longing, “i’ll see you soon okay? be back before ya know it.”

bzzt. bzzt. just as he’s about to drift off into slumber, his phone buzzes with an unread message from kiyoomi in the adjoining suite next to his— 1 new message from omi-omi

omi-omi : next time you’re calling your fiancé and beating your meat, please keep it down

notes. @atsumou surprise >:) was listening to snooze - sza while adding the last touches reblogs & interactions are always appreciated !

© yogurtkags. please do not repost, plagiarise, or translate my work.

[03jyh23]

🌷⌇seeds of uncertainty finding our way back part 7; a choi jongho mini-series

ex-boyfriend! idol! jongho x ex-girlfriend! single-mom! reader

│ series masterlist│ next │

│synopsis: five years have passed since jongho last saw you. your lives have taken drastically different paths, with jongho achieving fame and you focusing on raising your daughter, nari, in quiet anonymity. when jongho discovers he has a daughter, he's determined to be a part of her life.

│genre: a slice of life, romance, fluff, some angst

│trigger warnings: unplanned pregnancy, illegitimate child, single parenthood, physical violence, blood mentioned, mature language, emotional manipulation

│words: 8.4 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there my lovely people! i hope you all had a lovely weekend! till now the story was somewhat a slow-burn when it came to certain aspects but it's going to change now! as always let me know your thoughts!

love, mon ♡

│taglist: │ @seventeenthingsblr │@DALSUWAHA │

│ @ateez-atiny380 │ @yoonshiiu │ @sndeoki │ @bomi-ja │

│ @vixensss │ @all-fandoms-rise │ @finnydraws │

│ @jonghosbrainrot │ @ateezswonderland │ @stayatinykatsy

│@chickenscoups │ @ana-stasssiaaa │ @starryunho │

│ @originalcupcakenacho │ @ultrapinkvoidbouquet │

│ @sweetinsaniiity│ @jennifermakmur│ @mitchii │

│ @hannah-97 │ @hyuckiesgf │ @treehouse-mouse │

│ @eternoange1│@ultrapinkvoidbouquet │ @jycas │

│ @velvetskize │

│ if you wish to be tagged let me know here! ♡

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤJongho entered the apartment, moving slowly and deliberately to avoid disturbing the sleeping child in his arms. With utmost care, he gently placed Nari's belongings on the corridor drawer, each item set down with a whisper-soft touch. He then removed his shoes, the familiar ritual feeling different tonight, weighted with the responsibility of the precious cargo he carried.

Nari stirred slightly in his arms, her small form shifting against his chest. "Are we home?" she asked, her voice a sleepy murmur that tugged at Jongho's heartstrings.

"Yes, sweetheart, we're home," Jongho whispered back, his voice a gentle caress in the quiet of the night. He infused his words with all the tenderness he felt. As he walked, he rubbed soothing circles on Nari's back, a rhythmic motion designed to lull her back into sleep. The door to Nari's room creaked softly as Jongho pushed it open with his elbow, careful not to jostle his daughter. He fumbled for a moment before finding the switch for her night light. A warm, comforting glow suffused the room as it flickered to life. Jongho carefully lowered Nari onto her bed, supporting her head and body to ensure a smooth transition from his arms to the mattress. As he laid her down, he couldn't help but marvel at how small and fragile she looked amidst the sea of pillows and plushies. He took a moment to tuck her in, pulling the comforter up to her chin with gentle, loving motions. As he did so, he found himself memorizing every detail of her peaceful face, from the soft curve of her cheek to the flutter of her eyelashes against her skin.

"Mommy?" Nari's voice, thick with sleep, broke the silence. Her eyes fluttered open for a moment, a hint of confusion in their depths as she struggled against the pull of slumber.

Jongho's heart clenched at the sound. He leaned in close, his voice barely above a whisper as he sought to reassure her. "Shh, it's okay. Mommy will be here soon," he murmured, his fingers gently carding through Nari's hair in a soothing rhythm. The repetitive motion seemed to calm her, and he added softly, "For now, Uncle is here. Go back to sleep, angel." Nari's eyes drifted closed once more, succumbing to the irresistible call of sleep. Jongho settled himself on the edge of her bed. As Nari's breathing became calm and steady, Jongho took out his phone. Worried that you still weren't back, he sent a quick message: "Hey, is everything okay? Nari's asleep. Let me know when you're on your way home." He tucked the phone back into his pocket, then leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Nari's forehead. Satisfied that she was sleeping soundly, Jongho quietly left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. He made his way to the kitchenette, his movements careful and deliberate in the quiet apartment. Pouring himself a glass of water, he leaned against the counter, his mind still reeling from the earlier encounter with Hyunwoo. The cool liquid did little to calm the storm of emotions swirling within him. The confrontation in the hallway played on repeat in his mind, each word, each accusation etching itself deeper into his consciousness. Jongho closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tried to process everything that had happened. The weight of fatherhood, which had felt so light and joyous earlier in the day, now seemed to press down on him with renewed intensity. Questions and doubts began to creep in, fueled by Hyunwoo's words. Had he truly been absent for too long? Could he make up for lost time? And most pressingly, how would he navigate this complex situation with Hyunwoo's apparent involvement in Nari's life? Jongho shook his head, trying to dispel the negative thoughts. He reminded himself of the progress he'd made, of the bond he was forming with Nari. He set the glass down before making his way to the sofa, his body heavy with exhaustion. He sank into the plush cushions, letting out a deep sigh as the tension slowly ebbed from his muscles. For a moment, he contemplated turning on the TV to distract himself from the thoughts in his mind. However, he quickly decided against it, worried that the noise might disturb Nari's sleep. Instead, he allowed himself to relax further into the comfortable embrace of the sofa. Before he knew it, his eyelids grew heavy, and he drifted off into an unintended slumber.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤJongho wasn't sure how long he had been asleep when a sudden cry pierced through the veil of his unconsciousness. His eyes snapped open, instantly alert despite the fog of sleep still clinging to his mind. It took him a moment to register where he was and what was happening. Then, as the cry sounded again, louder this time, he bolted upright, his heart racing.

"Mommy!" Nari's cry echoed through the apartment, jolting Jongho fully awake. He was on his feet in an instant, his fatigue forgotten as adrenaline coursed through his veins. Without hesitation, he rushed towards Nari's room, his heart pounding with concern for his daughter.

As he approached her door, he could hear her distressed whimpers growing louder. Jongho pushed the door open gently, not wanting to startle her further. "Nari, sweetheart," he called softly, stepping into the dimly lit room. "It's okay, I'm here."

Nari was sitting up in her bed, tears streaming down her face, her small hands clutching her favorite stuffed animal. As Jongho approached, she looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear and confusion. "Where's Mommy?" she whimpered, her voice trembling.

Jongho's heart ached at the sight of his daughter's distress. He quickly moved to her bedside, sitting down gently and opening his arms. "Mommy's not here right now, sweetheart," he said softly, his voice filled with warmth and reassurance. "But I'm here for you. Can I give you a hug?" Nari nodded softly before throwing herself into Jongho's arms, her tiny hands clutching at his shoulders, her small body still trembling. "Shh, angel," Jongho whispered, gently cradling her against his chest. He began to rock her slowly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. "It's okay, I'm here," he murmured, his voice soft and comforting. "You're safe, sweetheart. Uncle’s got you." He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, feeling her gradually relax in his embrace.

As Nari's sobs gradually subsided into quiet sniffles, Jongho continued to hold her, his heart swelling with an overwhelming mixture of love, protectiveness, and a newfound sense of purpose. In that moment, he realized just how profoundly he had come to care for this little girl. Being a father, which used to seem scary and overwhelming to Jongho, now felt natural and rewarding. His earlier worries faded away. Instead, he felt a strong desire to be the best father he could be for Nari. He was determined to give her all the love and support she needed.

"Would you like to lay down again, sweetheart?" he asked softly, his voice a gentle whisper as he continued to cradle Nari in his arms. He could feel her small body still trembling slightly against his chest, a reminder of the vulnerability he now held in his embrace.

Nari shook her head, her voice muffled against his shirt as she replied, "No, I wanna sleep in Mommy's room." There was a brief pause, filled with the sound of her quiet sniffles, before she added hesitantly, "Wanna bathe."

Jongho found himself at a crossroads, carefully considering Nari's requests. The rational part of his mind reminded him that it was late, and a bath at this hour wasn't exactly ideal. However, as he gazed down at Nari's tear-stained face and felt her small body still quivering from her earlier distress, his heart made the decision for him. Perhaps the warm, soothing water would help calm her frayed nerves and wash away the remnants of her nightmare.

"Okay, sweetheart," he said gently, his hand moving to stroke her hair in a comforting rhythm. "How about we have a quick, warm bath to help you feel better, and then you can sleep in Mommy's room? Does that sound good to you?" His voice was soft and reassuring, filled with a tenderness he didn't even know he possessed until this moment. Nari nodded against his chest, her sobs now quieting to small, intermittent hiccups. Jongho could feel her body relaxing slightly in his arms, the tension slowly ebbing away. With careful movements, he stood up slowly, still holding her close to his heart. "Alright, let's get you that bath," with Nari still clinging to him, Jongho navigated through her room, his movements gentle yet purposeful. He rummaged through her drawers with one hand, the other securely holding his daughter close. His fingers sifted through the neatly folded clothes, searching for a pair of soft, comfortable pajamas and clean underwear. Once he had gathered everything they needed, he made his way to the bathroom, his steps slow and steady to avoid jostling Nari.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIn the bathroom, Jongho carefully sat Nari down on the closed toilet lid, making sure she was stable before reluctantly letting go. He turned his attention to the bathtub, twisting the faucet to release a stream of warm water. As the tub began to fill, he reached for the bottle of bubble bath, adding a generous squeeze to the running water. Almost immediately bubbles began to form, filling the air with a soft, comforting scent. The change in Nari's demeanor was almost instantaneous.

As she caught sight of the rising bubbles, a small smile began to tug at the corners of her mouth, chasing away the last vestiges of her earlier distress. "Bubbles!" she exclaimed softly. Jongho couldn't help but mirror her smile, feeling relieved at the sight of her brightening mood.

"That's right, sweetheart," he said, "Lots and lots of bubbles, just for you." He dipped his hand into the water, swirling it around to test the temperature. Satisfied that it was comfortably warm but not too hot, he turned back to Nari. "Okay, little one, let's get you in the tub. The bubbles are waiting for you." With gentle, careful movements, Jongho helped Nari out of her day clothes, then he lifted her with tender hands and slowly lowered her into the warm, bubbly water. As Nari settled into the tub, surrounded by shimmering foam, her eyes lit up with pure, childish delight. The earlier tears were now replaced by a look of wonder as she reached out to scoop up a handful of bubbles, giggling as they slipped through her fingers. Watching her, Jongho felt a warmth spread through his chest, a feeling so profound it almost took his breath away. At that moment, as he knelt beside the bathtub, watching his daughter play in the bubbles, all the doubts and fears that had plagued him earlier seemed to dissolve. This, he realized, was what fatherhood was truly about - these small, precious moments of joy and comfort. With a gentle smile, he reached for the shampoo, ready to help his daughter finish her bath and prepare for a peaceful night's sleep.

"Alright, angel, time to towel off and put on some pajamas," Jongho said, reaching for a fluffy towel. He helped Nari stand up in the tub, carefully wrapping the towel around her small frame. With gentle movements, he lifted her out of the bath and set her down on the bathmat. As he began to dry her off, Jongho couldn't help but marvel at how natural this all felt now. The initial awkwardness and uncertainty had given way to a sense of purpose and love that filled his entire being. He carefully patted Nari dry, making sure to be extra gentle with her hair "There we go, all dry," he smiled, reaching for the clean pajamas he had brought. "Let's get you dressed and ready for bed, sweetheart." Jongho helped Nari into her pajamas, carefully buttoning up the soft fabric.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThey made their way back to the living room. Jongho intended to lay Nari down on the sofa. However, she clung tightly to him, her small arms wrapped around his neck. Sensing her need for comfort, Jongho decided to sit down with her still in his arms. "It's okay, sweetheart," he murmured softly, reaching for a nearby blanket. He draped it over both of them, cocooning them in its warmth. Nari snuggled closer, her head resting against his chest. Jongho began to gently rock her, his voice low and soothing as he started to hum a lullaby. The melody, soft and comforting, filled the quiet room. He felt Nari's body gradually relax against him, her breathing becoming slower and more even. As he continued to sing, Jongho marveled at the moment. The weight of his daughter in his arms, the trust she placed in him, filled his heart with an indescribable warmth. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, his voice never faltering in the lullaby. In the quiet of the night, father and daughter sat together, enveloped in a blanket of warmth and love, the gentle lullaby a testament to their growing bond.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤYou walked into the quiet apartment, your head pounding from an exhausting day at work. Closing the door silently behind you, you moved through the space. Your gaze immediately went to Nari's room, but you found her bed empty. A momentary panic gripped your heart before you quickly looked to the living room. There, you noticed a disheveled tuft of fluffy brown hair on a pillow, soft snores filling the room. Relief washed over you as you approached quietly. The sight before you made your heart swell with affection. Nari was curled up in Jongho's arms, her small form rising and falling with each peaceful breath. Careful not to wake them, you gently adjusted the blanket, ensuring it covered both sleeping figures. You placed a soft kiss on Nari's forehead, yet your eyes lingered on Jongho. Smiling, you ran your hand gently on his cheek, your thumb brushing against his lower lip. The man you loved—or perhaps still loved—the father of your daughter, looked angelic. His arms were wrapped loosely around Nari, her head resting against his chest. You couldn't count how many times you had dreamed of a moment like this, to walk into not a house, but a home—a home that you dreamed of creating with Jongho. Tears welled up in your eyes, your heart bursting with emotion. You smiled, a bittersweet ache settling in your chest. God, you would do anything to get to see this each day. The scene before you was everything you had ever wanted, yet it felt just out of reach. Jongho and Nari, were peacefully asleep, looking like the perfect family you had always imagined.

As you stood there, watching them sleep, a mix of joy and longing washed over you. Joy for the growing bond between Jongho and Nari, and longing for what could have been—what still might be, if you dared to hope. You wondered if there was a way to bridge the gap, to turn this fleeting moment into a lasting reality. But as quickly as those thoughts came, you pushed them aside. It was too soon, you reminded yourself. Jongho had only just returned to your life days ago. The wounds still lingered, the history between you unresolved. You couldn't let yourself get carried away by one tender moment, no matter how it tugged at your heartstrings. Taking a deep breath, you steadied yourself. This was a time for caution, for careful steps forward. You needed to focus on what was best for Nari, on building a stable co-parenting relationship with Jongho. Romance and reconciliation were thoughts for another time, if ever. For now, you had to keep your feet firmly on the ground, even as your heart yearned to soar.

You shook your head, chiding your own thoughts. Maybe you could allow yourself to be selfish, just for the next couple of hours. Settling down next to Jongho, you rested your head on his shoulder and placed a soft kiss on his neck. Closing your eyes, you let yourself sink into the warmth of his presence. The steady rhythm of his breathing and Nari's soft snores filled the quiet room. In this moment, wrapped in the cocoon of familial warmth, a sense of peace washed over you. It was a fleeting indulgence, you knew, but one your heart desperately needed. As you drifted off to sleep, a small part of you wondered what the morning would bring. But for now, in this perfect slice of time, you allowed yourself to simply be—a mother, a woman, part of this little family unit that felt so right, even if it was just for tonight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe soft morning light filtered through the curtains, gently illuminating the living room. Nari stirred, her eyes fluttering open as she slowly became aware of her surroundings. She lifted her head from Jongho's chest, her gaze wandering until it landed on you, nestled against Jongho's side. For a moment, confusion clouded her sleepy eyes. Then, as recognition dawned, her face lit up with a mixture of surprise and delight. "Mommy?! Uncle?!" she exclaimed, her voice a blend of excitement and bewilderment. Her sudden outburst broke the peaceful silence of the morning, causing both you and Jongho to stir. You blinked awake, momentarily disoriented as you realized the position you were in - snuggled close to Jongho, his arm around you, his head resting atop yours. Jongho, too, began to wake, his arm instinctively tightening around you before his eyes snapped open, suddenly alert. The realization of your proximity dawned on him, and you could feel the sudden tension in his body.

Nari, oblivious to the adults' awkwardness, giggled with delight. "Mommy and Uncle were sleeping together!" she announced, her innocent observation hanging in the air between you and Jongho. Her eyes widened with excitement as a new thought struck her. "Will I have a baby brother now?" she exclaimed, her voice filled with innocent hope and curiosity. You felt your cheeks flush crimson, your eyes darting to meet Jongho's equally startled gaze. The awkwardness in the room intensified tenfold as you both struggled to find an appropriate response to Nari's unexpected question.

Jongho cleared his throat, his voice slightly strained as he attempted to address Nari's innocent question. "Angel, that's not... I mean, it doesn't quite work like that," he stumbled over his words, shooting a desperate glance your way. The situation had caught him completely off guard, and he found himself struggling to find an appropriate explanation for a child's curious mind.

You stepped in, "Nari, honey, Mommy, and Uncle were just sleeping. That doesn't mean we're going to have a baby." You could feel the heat radiating from your cheeks, acutely aware of Jongho's presence beside you. You silently hoped that your explanation would satisfy Nari's curiosity.

Your daughter's brows furrowed in confusion, her gaze darting between you and Jongho. "But you were sleeping together, like in the movies!" she insisted, her child-like logic unshakeable. Her innocent observation hung in the air, making the atmosphere even more uncomfortable. Nari's eyes lit up with excitement as she exclaimed, "When big mommies and daddies sleep together in movies, they have babies!" Jongho let out a nervous chuckle, running his hand through his hair. The two of you exchanged a panicked glance, desperately trying to figure out how to handle this unexpected turn in the conversation.

"Sweetie," Jongho began gently, his voice soft and patient, "sometimes adults sleep close to each other because they care about each other, but that doesn't always mean a baby is coming. Mommy and I were just resting together because we were tired." He looked at you, silently hoping his explanation was adequate and wouldn't prompt more difficult questions from your inquisitive daughter.

Nari's lower lip trembled as she crossed her arms, a pout forming on her face. Her eyes, wide with disappointment, looked up at both of you imploringly. "But I want a baby brother," she insisted, her voice taking on a whiny tone that tugged at your heartstrings. "Mommy's big and Uncle's big so can you make me one now?" Her innocent request, born out of a child's simple desire for a playmate, only served to heighten the awkwardness of the situation.

You felt your face grow even hotter if that was possible. Glancing at Jongho, you saw his eyes widen in panic, mirroring your own feelings of discomfort and uncertainty. "Having a baby is a very big decision that grown-ups make after a lot of thought and planning. It's not something we can just do right now because you want it." Jongho spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully to ensure Nari could understand without opening the door to more complicated questions.

You nodded in agreement, adding, "That's right, little one. And remember, Uncle and I aren't... we don't..." you trailed off, clearly struggling to find the right words to explain the complexities of adult relationships to a child. The situation felt like navigating a minefield, each word potentially leading to more confusion or misunderstanding.

Jongho jumped in to help, sensing your difficulty. "Mommy and I care about each other very much, but we're not together in the way that people are when they decide to have a baby. Do you understand?" His voice was gentle but firm, trying to convey the message in a way that would make sense to Nari's young mind.

Nari's pout deepened, her eyes filling with tears that threatened to spill over. The disappointment was evident on her face as she processed the information. "But I want a brother," she sniffled, her voice small and filled with sadness. The sight of her distress tugged at both your hearts, making the situation even more challenging to navigate.

You pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair gently, you spoke in a soothing tone, "I know, angel. I understand you want someone to play with. But for now, how about we focus on all the fun things we can do together? Just the three of us?" You hoped that redirecting her attention might help ease her disappointment and change the subject to something more positive.

Jongho reached out, gently patting Nari's back in a show of support. "That's right," he added, "How about we start with a special breakfast? Would you like that?" He glanced at you, silently communicating his hope that this suggestion might successfully divert Nari's attention from the sensitive topic at hand.

The little girl's face brightened slightly at the mention of food, her earlier disappointment momentarily forgotten. She looked up, her eyes still a bit watery but now sparkling with a hint of excitement. "Can we have pancakes again?" she asked, her voice hopeful and eager. The simple question was a welcome reprieve from the previous conversation, offering a way out of the awkward situation.

You and Jongho shared a relieved look over Nari's head, both grateful for the change of subject. "Pancakes sound perfect," you said, your voice filled with enthusiasm to match Nari's renewed excitement.

You looked at Jongho as he took Nari in his arms and rose from the sofa. "Ready to make some delicious pancakes again with me, princess?" he asked, his voice warm and playful. Nari's face lit up with excitement, her earlier disappointment completely forgotten. The sight of Jongho with Nari in his arms, heading to the kitchen with such ease and familiarity, stirred something in your heart. It was a bittersweet feeling - joy at seeing their bond grow stronger, coupled with a lingering sense of what could have been.

You were pulled from your thoughts by Jongho's gentle voice. "Y/N? If you want to, you can go and take a shower. We'll prepare breakfast for you. Right, princess?" he said, looking down at Nari with a warm smile.

Nari nodded enthusiastically, "Yes! We'll make the best pancakes ever for Mommy!" she exclaimed, her eyes shining with excitement.

You couldn't help but smile at their enthusiasm. "That sounds wonderful," you replied, feeling a rush of gratitude for this moment of normalcy amidst the complex emotions swirling within you. "I'll go freshen up then. Thank you."

As you headed towards the bathroom, you could hear Nari's excited chatter and Jongho's patient responses fading into the kitchen. The domesticity of the scene both warmed your heart and made it ache, a reminder of the delicate balance you were all trying to maintain. In the shower, you let the warm water wash over you, trying to clear your mind of the conflicting emotions. The morning's events played on repeat in your head - Nari's innocent questions, the awkward explanations, and the undeniable comfort you felt waking up next to Jongho. You stepped out and wrapped yourself in a towel. right before walking out of the bathroom, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the day ahead.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe smell of pancakes wafted through the air as you opened the door, "The breakfast smells delicious," you said as you walked back to the living room, drying your hair with a small towel. "I can take it from here," you smiled at Jongho. "Maybe you'd like to freshen up a bit too?" you asked.

Jongho looked up from the pancake he was flipping, "I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome."

You hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting him to stay and knowing it might complicate things further. "You're not overstaying," you assured him softly. "Besides, Nari would love to have you here a bit longer." You paused, then added with a small smile, "And so would I."

Jongho's eyes widened in surprise at your words, and he quickly looked down, feeling heat creeping up his neck. The spatula in his hand trembled slightly as he tried to regain his composure. He cleared his throat, attempting to find the right words to respond. "I... I appreciate that," he managed to say, his voice slightly husky. He risked a glance back at you, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before darting away again. The air between you seemed to crackle with unspoken emotions.

Nari's voice suddenly piped up from the kitchen, breaking the tension. "Uncle, is the pancake ready yet?" Her question brought both of you back to reality, Jongho cleared his throat again, this time more decisively. "I think I'll take you up on that offer to freshen up," he said, his voice steadier now. "Could you watch the pancakes for a moment?"

"Yes, just give me a second," you said, taking a few steps toward your closet. You weren't entirely sure how Jongho would react, but you felt compelled to retrieve something that had been tucked away for years. With slightly trembling hands, you rummaged through the lower drawers, searching for a box that had been left forgotten, yet one that you couldn't bring yourself to discard. It was a big, unassuming container, but it held within it a treasure of memories. You opened it carefully, as if handling a delicate artifact, and gently took out a few items of clothing, each one carrying the weight of shared history. Standing back up, you felt Jongho's eyes on you. You turned to face him, holding up a pair of grey sweatpant shorts and a dark green hoodie with a shy, tentative smile. These weren't just any clothes; they were remnants of a time when your lives were intertwined in the most intimate of ways. Jongho used to have his own drawer in your room when you were still together, a small but significant symbol of your shared life. You remembered with a pang of nostalgia how you'd wear his clothes while pregnant, finding comfort in his scent and the way the fabric draped over your changing body. These particular items were the clothes he had left behind five years ago, you had kept them all this time, unable to part with this tangible connection to your past. "I thought... maybe these might fit you," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper and tinged with a complex mixture of nostalgia, uncertainty, and a hint of hope. The words hung in the air between you, laden with unspoken emotions and shared memories. "They're yours from... before," you continued, your voice catching slightly on the word 'before', as if it encompassed an entire world of experiences and feelings. "I hope you don't mind that I kept them," you added, your eyes searching his face for any sign of how he might be feeling. The simple act of offering these clothes felt monumental, as if you were extending not just fabric, but a piece of your shared history, a tentative bridge across the years that had separated you.

Jongho's eyes widened as he recognized the clothes, a flicker of emotion passing across his face. He reached out slowly, his fingers brushing against the fabric as if touching a cherished memory. "You... you kept these?" he asked softly, his voice thick with emotion. The air between you seemed to hum with unspoken words and shared history as he gently took the clothes from your hands. For a moment, Jongho stood there, holding the clothes close to his chest, his eyes distant as if lost in memories. Then, with a soft smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, he looked back at you. "Thank you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I... I appreciate this more than you know." Jongho's fingers lingered on the fabric as if trying to absorb the memories it held. With a deep breath, he looked up, his eyes meeting yours with gratitude "I'll go shower then," he said softly, his voice carrying a warmth that seemed to wrap around you both.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAs Jongho emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed in the clothes you had given him, the enticing aroma of freshly made pancakes wafted through the air, filling the apartment with a comforting warmth. You and Nari had already set the table, a towering stack of golden, fluffy pancakes sitting invitingly in the center, accompanied by an array of toppings and syrups.

"Perfect timing," you said with a welcoming smile, gesturing for him to join you at the table. The sight of Jongho in his old clothes, now slightly snug on his more muscular frame, stirred a mix of nostalgia and something else you couldn't quite name.

As you all settled in to eat, Nari dominated the conversation with her animated chatter, regaling you both with a seemingly endless stream of stories from her preschool adventures. Her infectious enthusiasm filled the room, punctuated by giggles and dramatic gestures as she recounted tales of finger-painting mishaps and playground conquests. You and Jongho exchanged amused glances over her head, your shared laughter creating a bubble of warmth around the table. The atmosphere was cozy and comfortable, yet tinged with the bittersweet awareness of its temporary nature.

The meal drew to a close, with plates nearly empty and bellies satisfyingly full. Jongho glanced at his watch, a hint of reluctance clouding his eyes. "I should probably get going," he said softly, his gaze flicking between you and Nari as if torn between duty and desire.

Nari's face immediately fell, her earlier joy evaporating like morning mist. Her lower lip jutted out in a heart-wrenching pout, her eyes widening to impossibly large proportions. "But Uncle," she pleaded, her voice small and trembling, "can't you stay longer? Please?" Her imploring gaze darted between Jongho and you, silently begging for intervention, her little hands clasping together as if in prayer.

Jongho's expression softened at Nari's plea, his eyes filled with warmth and understanding. "I promise I'll be back soon, sweetheart," he said, his voice gentle and reassuring. "And you know what? I have an even better idea. How about we plan a special day with all the uncles? We could go to the park, and have a picnic. What do you think about that?"

"Really? All the uncles?" she asked, her voice rising with each word, filled with a mixture of hope and barely contained enthusiasm.

Jongho nodded, "Absolutely," he affirmed, reaching out to gently ruffle her hair. "We'll make it a day to remember. But for now, I need to head out. Can you be my brave little princess and give me a big hug goodbye?" Without hesitation, Nari launched herself into Jongho's arms, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck with all the strength her little body could muster.

As Jongho gently disentangled himself from Nari's embrace, you cleared your throat, trying to keep your voice steady despite the sudden flutter of nervousness in your chest. "Nari, sweetheart," you said softly, "why don't you go play in your room for a little while? Mommy needs to talk to Uncle for a moment before he leaves." Nari nodded obediently, her earlier excitement still evident in her bright eyes. She gave Jongho one last quick squeeze before scampering off to her room, her footsteps echoing down the hallway.

Once Nari disappeared into her room, you turned to Jongho, a mix of emotions swirling in your chest. "Let me walk you to the door," you said softly, gesturing towards the entryway. Jongho nodded, a gentle smile playing on his lips as he followed your lead.

The short walk to the front door felt charged with unspoken words and lingering glances. As you reached the threshold, you both paused, Jongho turned to face you, his eyes searching yours as if trying to memorize every detail of this moment. Just as he was about to say goodbye, you reached out impulsively, your fingers gently encircling his wrist. He looked at you, surprise evident in his eyes, a question forming on his lips. You quickly pulled him outside, closing the door slightly to ensure Nari wouldn't hear.

Jongho looked at you questioningly, his brow furrowed slightly in confusion. "Is everything alright?"

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the words you were about to say, words that had the power to change everything. "Jongho," you began, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the weight of your decision. "There's something important I need to tell you." You paused, gathering your courage, your hands shaking slightly as you met his gaze. "I... I've made a decision. I want Nari to know the truth. I want her to know that you're her dad." The words hung in the air between you, heavy with implications and unspoken emotions. You searched Jongho's face intently, your heart pounding against your ribcage as you waited for his reaction. The silence stretched on, each second feeling like an eternity as you stood on the precipice of change, the future of your little family balanced precariously on the edge of this moment.

Jongho's eyes widened, a myriad of emotions flashing across his face in rapid succession - surprise, disbelief, hope. For a moment, he stood perfectly still, as if frozen in time, processing your words. Then, slowly, he spoke, "Are you absolutely sure about this? I don't want to rush into anything if you're not completely ready. This is... this is a big step."

"No," you interjected quickly, not allowing him to finish his thought. Your voice grew stronger, more resolute with each word. "I'm certain about this. I want her to know the truth. You deserve to be recognized as her dad, to hear her call you 'Daddy.' I want this for her, for you... for us." Your eyes darted across his face, drinking in every nuance of his expression, your voice softening as you added, "That is... if it's what you want too?" The silence that followed was electric, you could hear your heart thundering in your ears, and feel the rush of blood in your veins as you waited for Jongho's response.

In this moment, the future of your unconventional family hung in the balance, poised on the edge of transformation.

Suddenly, Jongho's face broke into a radiant smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and lighting up with unbridled joy. A soft, melodious laugh escaped his lips, dispelling the tension that had built between you. "God, of course, I want this," he exclaimed, his voice brimming with emotion and barely contained excitement. "You have no idea how much I want it." His hands reached out, gently grasping yours, his touch sending a familiar tingle through your body, awakening memories and feelings long buried. Without warning, Jongho pulled you closer, enveloping you in a warm embrace. The scent of him surrounded you, bringing with it a rush of nostalgia and comfort. Without giving it a second thought, your lips found Jongho's in a tender, hesitant kiss. Your arms wound around his neck of their own, pulling him closer as his hands settled on your waist, holding you as if you might disappear if he loosened his grip even slightly. It started soft, a gentle exploration of forgotten territory. But quickly, the kiss deepened, years of pent-up emotions and unspoken feelings surging to the surface.

Lost in the rush of feelings, you didn't hear someone walking up until you heard slow clapping. The sound, at first barely noticeable, got louder, breaking the moment you were sharing. Your bodies separated as if shocked. As you turned towards the source of the interruption, your eyes fell upon Hyunwoo standing in the hallway, his expression shifted rapidly - shock, hurt, betrayal, and finally settling on a mixture of disbelief and resignation. His eyes, wide with surprise, darted between you and Jongho as if trying to piece together a puzzle he never wanted to solve. The slow clapping, which had initially seemed almost comical, now took on a bitter, almost sarcastic tone. Each clap echoed in the hallway, punctuating the heavy silence that had fallen over the three of you. As the reality of the situation sank in, Hyunwoo's posture changed. His shoulders, usually held high with confidence, seemed to slump under the weight of what he had witnessed. His hands fell limply to his sides, fingers curling into tight fists. The muscles in his jaw worked silently as if he were physically chewing on the words he wanted to say but couldn't quite bring himself to voice.

When Hyunwoo finally spoke, his voice was strained, barely concealing the turbulent emotions bubbling beneath the surface. Each word seemed to cost him great effort as if he were forcing them past a lump in his throat. "Well," he began, his tone a brittle attempt at nonchalance, "isn't this a touching scene." The sarcasm in his voice was palpable, a thin veneer barely masking the hurt that lay beneath. His gaze held a coldness that sent a shiver down your spine. Hyunwoo's voice dropped to a low, bitter whisper, his eyes clouding with a mixture of pain and resignation. "Lovers reunited after years," he said, the words dripping with sarcasm and hurt. "How could I even stand a chance?" A humorless chuckle escaped his lips, the sound hollow "How foolish of me to think that I stood a chance at all."

The hallway suddenly felt too small, too confining.

Hyunwoo's eyes narrowed, his voice dripping with venom. "Have fun with your idol boyfriend," he spat, his words laced with bitterness. "But let me know once he leaves you again." He paused, a cruel smirk twisting his features. "Hopefully without a second baby on the way this time."

The words hung in the air, sharp and cutting. Jongho's body tensed, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. In an instant, the warmth in his eyes was replaced by a fiery rage. He took a step forward, his voice low and dangerous. "You fucking piece of shit," he snarled, his usually gentle demeanor completely gone. "You don't know shit about our situation. How fucking dare you speak to her like that? Who the fuck do you think you are?" His chest heaved with barely contained fury as he continued, spittle flying from his mouth, "I may have fucked up in the past, but I'm here now, I'm fighting for my goddamn family. And I won't let anyone, especially not a pathetic loser like you, disrespect Y/N or my daughter."

"Jongho, please..." you pleaded, placing your hand on his chest in an attempt to stop him from lunging at Hyunwoo. But your efforts were in vain; he was too strong, too enraged. In a flash, Jongho flew across the hallway, his hands reaching out to grab Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo's expression shifted from anger to a cold, calculated smirk. "I wouldn't recommend that... at least not if you don't want me to give a call to one of those gossip websites," he threatened, his voice dripping with malice.

"You wouldn't!" you exclaimed, feeling your own nerves fraying at the edges. The situation was spiraling out of control, and you felt powerless to stop it. Desperately, you turned to Hyunwoo, your voice pleading. "Hyunwoo, please calm down." The tension in the air was palpable, thick enough to cut with a knife. You stood there, caught between the two men, your heart racing as you desperately tried to think of a way to defuse the situation before it escalated any further.

Hyunwoo's face contorted with rage, his eyes blazing with a mixture of hurt and fury. "You think you can just waltz back into their lives and play happy families?" he snarled, "Where the fuck were you all these years, huh? Living it up while Y/N struggled to raise your kid alone?"

Jongho's jaw clenched, his muscles visibly tightening beneath his hoodie as he shifted his stance, getting ready for a possible fight. His eyes, usually warm and gentle, now blazed with an intensity that could melt steel. "You don't know anything about our situation," he growled, his voice dropping to a dangerous low, each word dripping with barely contained fury. The air around him seemed to crackle with tension, his entire being radiating a palpable anger that threatened to explode at any moment.

Hyunwoo let out a bitter laugh that echoed harshly. His face contorted into a mask of disgust and resentment as he spat out his next words. "I know more than enough, you piece of shit. You're nothing but a selfish, spineless coward who abandoned a girl who loved you beyond reason. She was young, terrified, and completely alone, yet she chose to keep your baby. And where were you? Living it up as an idol, basking in the spotlight while she struggled through sleepless nights and endless worries. You don't deserve them, you pathetic excuse for a man. You don't deserve an ounce of their love or forgiveness!"

Both men stood their ground, bodies coiled like springs ready to unleash at the slightest provocation. Their heated exchange hung in the air like a powder keg, threatening to ignite into a full-blown physical confrontation at any moment.

"Y/N, please step back," Jongho whispered urgently, his eyes locked on Hyunwoo's face.

"Absolutely not!" you exclaimed. With swift, purposeful strides, you positioned yourself between the two men, your heart thundering in your chest. Adrenaline surged through your body as you extended your arms, palms facing outward towards each of them, creating a physical barrier. "Both of you, stop this immediately!" you demanded, your voice quavering but resolute. "This is pointless! We need to approach this situation rationally and discuss it like adults." Your eyes darted between them, silently pleading for reason to prevail. Turning to Hyunwoo, your gaze softened with empathy. "Hyunwoo, please," you implored, "This isn't you. I know you're hurting, but this isn't the way."

Shifting your attention to Jongho, your expression became more stern. "And Jongho," you said, your tone leaving no room for argument, "remember who you are and what's at stake here. Think about Nari, think about your career. Is this really how you want to handle this situation?"

The hallway fell silent, both men stood frozen, their chests rising and falling rapidly as they struggled to contain their anger. You remained steadfast between them, your posture unwavering, a living shield determined to prevent any further escalation. The weight of the moment pressed down on all three of you, each second stretching into eternity as you waited to see if reason would finally prevail over raw emotion.

Jongho took a step back, his fists still clenched. Under his breath, he muttered a string of profanities, his voice low and seething with anger. "Fucking asshole... piece of shit... who does he think he is..."

Suddenly, without warning, Hyunwoo lunged forward. His fist connected with Jongho's jaw with a sickening crack, the impact echoing through the hallway. Jongho stumbled backward, caught off guard by the sudden assault, his eyes wide with shock and pain.

You gasped, horrified by the sudden turn of events. "Stop it!" you screamed, your voice shrill with panic. Adrenaline coursed through your veins as you watched Jongho recover from the initial shock. His eyes narrowed, a dangerous glint flashing in them as he wiped a trickle of blood from his split lip.

"I won't disrespect Y/N like that, I won't fight with you for her to see, and..." Jongho paused, his voice low and controlled despite the anger still simmering beneath the surface. "Funny how you supposedly wanted to take my place in Nari's life but you don't have any respect for her mother." The hallway fell silent as the weight of his statement settled over you all. Hyunwoo's face contorted, a mix of emotions flashing across his features - anger, shame, and finally, a flicker of realization. The fight seemed to drain out of him, his shoulders slumping as the weight of Jongho's words sank in. He took a step back, his eyes darting between you and Jongho, as if seeing the situation clearly for the first time. "You are not a man, Hyunwoo," Jongho continued, his voice low and controlled. "And let me repeat this again, as I did yesterday: I don't want you near my daughter." With that, Jongho turned away from Hyunwoo and walked towards the elevators.

"Jongho, wait!" you called out, your voice cracking with desperation.

Jongho paused, his hand hovering over the elevator button. He took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort. "Y/N, I'm sorry," he began, his voice low and strained. "But... I really need to go. This... it's too much right now." His eyes, usually warm and inviting, now held a storm of conflicting emotions. "Please understand." You watched helplessly as Jongho stepped into the elevator, his gaze never leaving yours until the doors slowly closed between you. The soft ding of the elevator's descent echoed in the now-silent hallway, leaving you alone with Hyunwoo and the heavy aftermath of the confrontation. Turning to face him, you felt a surge of conflicting emotions. His earlier words still stung, sharp, and painful in your memory. But the sight of him now, deflated and ashamed, stirred a complex mix of pity, frustration, and lingering hurt in your chest. His usual confident demeanor had crumbled, replaced by a man who looked lost and regretful. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your scattered thoughts and decide how to address the mess that had unfolded before you.

"Y/N, I—" Hyunwoo began, too soon for your liking, his voice faltering. His eyes darted around, unable to meet your gaze. He opened his mouth again as if to continue, but no words came out. The silence stretched between you, filled with all the things left unsaid.

"I need you to leave," you said firmly, your voice surprisingly steady despite the turmoil inside you. You turned your back to him, unable to bear the sight of his remorse any longer. Without waiting for a response, you walked back into your apartment, each step feeling heavier than the last. The door closed behind you with a soft click, finally separating you from the chaos in the hallway.

As you leaned against the closed door, you let out a shaky breath that seemed to come from the very depths of your being. The events of the past few minutes replayed in your mind like a relentless film reel, each scene more draining than the last. You felt anger at Hyunwoo's words, worry for Jongho, concern for how this would affect Nari, and an overwhelming sense of exhaustion that seemed to seep into your very bones. You knew you'd have to deal with the aftermath of this confrontation eventually - there were conversations to be had, explanations to be given, and decisions to be made. But for now, all you wanted was a moment of peace to collect your scattered thoughts and tumultuous emotions.

♡│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by tagging and reblogging│♡

[stayxlix]

off the deep end. (07)

~(part seven) the last nail in a shared coffin~

pairing: rebel!felix x reader (f)

genre: non-idol au, post-apocalypse/dystopian au. wc: 20.6k

series rating: 18+ **minors do not interact**

chapter warnings: violent mature themes, explicit sexual content (consensual, unprotected sex, oral sex), nightmares, mentions of murder/death, mentions of parent death, mentions of hunger, oppressive government, fighting, weaponry (knife use, gun use), panic, injury, blood, language, a whole lot lot of angst, please lmk if i missed any!!

a/n: thank you all so much for your patience and continued support, it really does mean the world to mee.<3 any feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs are more appreciated than you know. im so excited to share the next part of this journey with you!! as always, i hope you enjoy.♡♡

series masterlist

"fear and love are like interwoven threads—immutable and bound together by celestial forces. the sun and moon navigate the intricate dance of light and darkness for eternity, echoing the delicate balance between the two emotions that every heart must learn."

Felix had always been able to divide fear into two distinct entities.

The first was immediate, tangible. The kind of fear he’d grown accustomed to like an old, unwelcome acquaintance. The kind that crept beneath his skin when he could no longer ignore hunger’s gnawing ache. When he observed the hollow eyes of his companions after scouring the barren landscape, only to return empty-handed. It was the frigid air that seeped into his bones during long winter nights, the kind that set his pulse racing when footsteps echoed too closely in the darkness. 

The second was deeper, a phantom kind of fear that stained the recesses of his soul. It was a desperate gasp for air in the suffocating grip of hands that devoured the weak. The cool touch of a steel barrel against skin that bore the marks of a merciless world. It was fear in the phantom weight of invisible chains that had once coiled around his neck—chains wielded by demons from a past that clawed relentlessly at the barriers of his sanity.

It was the dread that he would wake up one morning to discover a void where seven—no, eight souls had once stood beside him. To find his humanity stripped away again, replaced by the savage instincts he had fought so hard to overcome. 

The kind of fear that crept into his dreams belonged to the second category.

Nearly six hours had slipped away since the first glimmer of morning light, when you had woken Felix from the nightmare.

"Felix,” your voice—your real voice—not the distorted echo from his nightmare, had called out. Clear and reassuring, summoning him from the depths of his own subconscious. 

“Felix, wake up. You’re dreaming.”

His eyelids shot open, pupils dilating wildly as they struggled to adjust. A sharp gasp pierced the stillness as his body surged forward. Disoriented, his hands instinctively sought you out as he struggled to untangle the threads of the nightmare from reality.

"It's okay,” you whispered, fingers gently gripping his shoulder, "you're safe."

You’re safe, you'd said. And those words, while meant to comfort him, had almost caused Felix to laugh, at the absurdity of the idea that he could ever be tormented by a nightmare involving his own harm.

His head lifted, glossy eyes still clouded with the remnants of fear. Yet, relief began to glimmer within their depths. Because your lips were not stained red, there was no blood-soaked knife clutched in his hand, no imaginary blade pierced through your chest. 

Felix drew in a shuddering breath, reality slowly stitching itself back together. Piece by piece, thread by thread.

You watched him closely, concern dancing in your eyes as you tried to grasp the torment of whatever horrors he had witnessed in his sleep. And then you’d sighed, heavy with affection and a touch of sadness, before shifting closer. 

Your arms enveloped his shoulders and, to his own surprise, Felix didn't resist your touch—though maybe he should have, given what his subconscious had just inflicted upon you. But he couldn’t find the strength to keep his arms from making their way around you in return.

His head dropped to your shoulder, the tension in his muscles easing. Warm touch met cold, trembling skin. The physical contact was grounding—you were grounding. A lifeline anchoring Felix to the reality he so desperately needed to return to. 

He strained to listen until the steady rhythm of your heart found his ear. In the stillness, the sound grew and grew until it was the only thing he heard. Every beat was proof that you were real, breathing and alive. But as the moments stretched Felix began to fear that it might slow, that every beat might be the last before an eternity of silence, that he would look up to find a dagger buried in it once again and—

The air in his lungs became thin, his grip tightened, fingers digging into your back. “I couldn’t do anything," his voice rumbled low, muffled by the fabric of your shoulder. And he didn't even know what he was saying but the words had come out trembling. As if the nightmare had lodged itself in his throat, constricting his vocal cords. 

“It’s okay,” you hushed, your lips grazing his ear in a soft caress. “It’s just a dream, it can't hurt you."

But it's not about me, he thought. It's not about me, it's never been about me. But it remained a silent confession. Because he could not bring himself to tell you the real reason the nightmare had left him so shaken. A quiet truth that hung heavily in the air, tethered to the gruesome image of you that still clung to his mind.

With a gentle tug, you encouraged him to join you in lying back down. Felix hesitated, his gaze falling toward the cave’s entrance—a reminder of the harsh reality waiting outside. But you cupped his cheek and, with a tender smile and the quiet utterance of his name, convinced him to stay. 

Your bodies melded together against the uneven contours of the cave floor. Your fingers threaded through his disheveled hair, tracing the curve of his scalp with each gentle stroke. Another hour might have unfolded as you clung to each other in silence, but it never would have been enough. Time slipped away, ignoring Felix's silent plea for it to slow.

When the rest of the boys began to stir, you shared a hesitant glance. Despite his obvious reluctance for you to withdraw, slowly, gradually, you did. Your fingers left Felix’s hair and his hands slid away from your back. He let you go, eyes following your retreat, and the ache in his chest returned at full force.

As you reclaimed your original spot a few feet away, you stretched, covering a yawn. Your casual expression revealed nothing of the profound moment—the profound night—you had shared with Felix. A night of stolen intimacy, waiting to resurface again in the quiet moments when the world turned its back.

-

As he drove the motorcycle, squinting against the pale brightness, Felix used the sun’s position in the sky to track the passage of time.

Early afternoon, he figured. Maybe eight hours now since the group had abandoned the safety of the cave. And despite the solace he’d found in your touch that morning, a growing shadow of guilt threatened to consume his mind. 

With every hour, the weight of the nightmare's horrors slowly eased, though they never fully vanished. Every time he dared to close his eyes, that agonizing image of you returned—a cruel reminder of the violence he had once been capable of.

The violence that he was still capable of. 

Felix had always recognized his nightmares as a manifestation of his deepest guilt. They had always been sinister—disturbing, and yet, this particular nightmare was unlike any he had faced before. Because he wasn't afraid for himself, he'd never been. But he was terrified for you. Of what he might be capable of doing to you.

Even if Felix knew deep down that he could never intentionally hurt you, there was that persistent voice in his head reminding him of every mistake he'd made, every violent impulse he'd ever had.

His fingers flexed on the motorcycle, feeling as though the handlebars would slip through his grasp at any moment. He squeezed until his knuckled turned white, trying to hold on to some semblance of control. Because Felix was acutely aware of his capacity to lose control. Giving in to that dormant beast lingering just below the surface.

As the nightmare replayed in his mind, Felix couldn’t help but wonder if it had also been a consequence of what he’d said to you that night in the tavern—that you would already be dead if he'd had things his way. Such a careless thing to say considering that, even if he hadn’t known it then, his affection for you had existed in those early moments too.

With every jolt of the motorcycle, Felix fought the nausea that settled in his empty stomach. Caught somewhere between the past and the present, the sensation of your arms around his waist served as a physical reminder of how far he'd come since that conversation. How he'd transformed from someone potentially willing to end your life, to someone committed to protecting it at all costs.

Felix killed the engine and dismounted the bike, muscles rigid from hours of tension. Late afternoon now. Half a day had gone by when the group unanimously agreed that it was time for a break.

As he refueled the bike, its exhaust pipes still crackling with heat, he wondered how long he and Chan were going to ignore the diminishing weight of the fuel containers. But the thought was quickly drowned out by Minho and Changbin—bickering over the now unfolded map.

Felix tuned them out, making note of the way you lingered by his side. He sensed the silent inquiry in your eyes, seeking reassurance about his well-being after this morning’s ordeal. But now wasn’t the place or the time to talk about the nightmare. It was still too heavy, too raw, and to be honest Felix wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to find the words to articulate it all. 

He didn’t even know where to start.

So, despite the solace he found in the quiet strength you exuded, Felix distanced himself from your side. He sought out a flat rock, its cool surface soothing against the back of his neck as he reclined. The setting sun caressed his face, and if he had summoned the courage to close his eyes completely, he thought he might have been able to envision himself back on the rooftop. To the moment Chan had first revealed the plan for the raid—a memory bathed in similar sunlight, when the breeze had carried the scent of a world that felt unrecognizable now.

Felix allowed himself to wonder, only briefly, if he should long for the simplicity of that memory. At a time when he hadn’t felt much of anything at all aside from his love for the seven boys around him. But even that, he had done his best to dull. The numbness had been a shield, but it was a defense he no longer seemed to possess. Because now, every gust of wind seemed to carry the whisper of your name. The moon, a constant observer of his fondest memories and reflections, couldn't even come close to the comfort he found in your embrace. Even the warmth of the sun on his skin could never compare to your touch. Feelings he couldn’t begin to comprehend had taken place of that numbness, battling the darkness that had lingered for far too long.

With a slight tilt of his head, Felix cast a subtle glance in your direction. He found you seated next to Seungmin a short distance away, and he wondered whether you were truly managing the way you’d claimed you were last night. Maybe it was the weariness displayed in the lines of your face, the slight downturn of your lips, the way your shoulders always seemed to carry an invisible weight—things that didn't escape his notice because he understood them all too well. 

Because Felix was beginning to understand you too well, maybe.

After discovering your identity the night of the raid, Felix had done everything he could to convince himself that you were just the daughter of a monster—a pawn in a cruel game. But despite his best efforts, he could never bring himself to see you that way. He'd failed miserably at hating you, he couldn’t even dislike you, and what terrified him most was not just the acknowledgment of his potential to love you, but the possibility that maybe he always had. From the very beginning. From that fateful moment in the alley when your paths had crossed, and your lips had met, and you’d saved his life for the first time.

Of course, he hadn’t known who you were then, he’d had no clue what you might be running from, but he saw the desire to escape it in your eyes. Almost leading Felix to believe that if he'd extended his hand and whispered for you to come with him that night, you would have said yes.

Somewhere nearby, the argument between Minho and Changbin dissipated, fizzling out under the weight of exhaustion or hunger, or the recent encounter with your father's guards—undoubtedly still on everyone's minds.

Felix couldn't help the way his ears perked up when Seungmin filled the silence by engaging you in a conversation about archery, debating the finer points of how to hold a bow. Seungmin—who’d always had a very particular knack for reading the group's dynamics. Whose trust in you was something that hadn't gone unnoticed by Felix, either.

As he immersed himself in the melody of your voice and the subtle accent woven into your speech—how you pronounced words like Minho once had in those first few months after he'd joined the group—Felix allowed his heavy eyes to drift shut.

Even if he'd always been skeptical of it, Felix suddenly found himself clinging to the hope that Chan so fervently believed in—the fragile hope for a better world. And if it really did exist, then he would do anything in his power to make sure you would be there to see it.

He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had happened—maybe he would try to figure it out some day if he lived long enough—but all he knew for certain was that somewhere along the way, the mere thought of you experiencing harm had become more terrifying to Felix than any of the horrors that had marred his own existence.

And so, he resolved to protect you from the brutality of your world, from the looming threat of the war against your father, and, most importantly, from the darkness that still dwelled within himself.

With a grin, you held the bow aloft. “See? It's all about the grip. If you don't hold it just right, your aim will be completely off."

Seungmin—who you'd quickly come to realize was never one to back down from a challenge—shook his head, streaks of chestnut in his hair catching the sunlight. Rising to his feet, he extended an arm.

“I get that you’ve had official lessons, but you’re missing the point. It's all about intuition and feeling the shot,” he continued as you handed him the bow. “You can have the perfect hold on it any day but if you don't connect with it on a deeper level, you'll never hit the mark.” He mimicked drawing an invisible arrow from the string to emphasize his point.

Intrigued by your banter, Changbin strolled over with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I don't know, I think it’s more about the stance," with a nudge, he disrupted Seungmin's balance, causing him to stumble. Changbin reached for the bow, and a smile tugged at your lips as the two began to fight over it.

A gentle breeze swept over you, carrying with it the faintest hint of distant pine, and your attention was immediately drawn away.

A few strides to your left, Felix lay reclined with his hands resting comfortably behind his head. His eyes were closed, raven-dark locks absorbing the sunlight. To anyone who didn't know the circumstances, he would have appeared content. To anyone who didn’t know Felix, he might have appeared relaxed, even.

Yet, you wondered what might be taking place beneath that calm exterior.

Felix had felt unusually distant since that morning. His glazed-over eyes seemed to wander endlessly, in every direction but to you. Something had claimed his thoughts, and you could only hope that whatever it was had nothing to do with the torture that had unfolded in his past.

You watched as he ran a hand through his hair—a habitual gesture for the boy with the freckles and the stars in his eyes. The boy with a narrative of scars on his back and a tapestry of secrets in his soul. Secrets you feared you wouldn't have enough time with him to uncover.

The muscles in his forearms flexed as he sat up, fingertips trailing across the stone beneath them. The memory of those fingers on your skin from the night before sent a tingle down your spine, igniting that familiar heat between your legs..

A small pebble came tumbling down the hillside behind you, landing gently on your outstretched hand. Startled, you glanced over your shoulder to find Minho and Jisung making their way back down the rocky incline. "Nothing as far as we can see," Minho reported.

The absence of your father's guards on the other side offered a momentary respite, but it was a fleeting moment of safety that you were well aware wouldn't last forever.

“Nothing for now," Jisung added, meeting your eyes as if he had tuned into your thoughts.

"We should keep moving," Chan appeared at your side, taking in the surroundings. "The longer we stay in one place, the more vulnerable we become."

Sure..unless the path ahead leads to an even greater danger.

Unless your father was paranoid enough to figure out where you were headed.

If he'd sent guards after you on a more direct route, you wondered if they might make it to Miroh before you. The thought of them lying in wait in anticipation of your arrival stirred up a new, particularly unsettling, concern. But when Chan turned his focus to you, you responded with a firm nod, tucking away your fears to discuss with him later.

-

The days were waning, leaving you to realize that summer had quietly begun to slip away. It didn’t take long for the sun to complete its descent below the jagged horizon, plunging the world into shadows once more.

The scattered rock formations took on menacing shapes—their outlines frequently obscured by passing clouds above. Under the veil of darkness, each turn of the wheels became a gamble, increasing the chances of veering off course or stumbling upon unforeseen obstacles.

Amidst the growing danger, Chan's voice cut through the rhythmic hum of the motorcycle as he called for Felix to slow down.

Felix, however, seemed determined to press forward. His muscles tensed, ignoring Chan's plea as the engine roared defiantly. And you had a feeling it wasn't just the desire to reach your destination that drove him, but a reluctance to stop and rest.

To sleep, perhaps.

"Felix,” you urged, leaning in, "it isn’t safe.”

A sudden acceleration of the bike was his only response. It surged forward as if he were trying to outpace not just your words, but the night itself.

You squeezed his waist, a silent plea for him to listen. "Lix—"

In a single, decisive motion, Felix abruptly yanked the motorcycle to the side of the rugged path. With wide eyes, you watched as he stepped down, his movements reflecting restless energy. As the dust settled, he deliberately avoided meeting your eyes, turning his focus to the rover as it pulled up beside you.

"I'll take first watch," he declared, boots crunching on loose rocks as he left your side.

You’d intended to follow him but Hyunjin was quicker. He leaped down from the rover before it’d even slowed to a stop, darting ahead to catch up with Felix.

You watched as they approached the edge of a cliff that lie straight ahead from where you stood. A frown tugged at your lips as your mind went to the twin rings they wore.

I've known Felix a lot longer than you.

As you considered the unspoken dynamic between them, whatever the hell it might be, a shadow fell over the periphery of your vision.

Jisung slipped beside you, his eyes flitting from you to the two figures now seated at the edge of the cliff.

"I spoke with him earlier," you said, eyes tethered to the outline of Hyunjin’s back. "It didn't exactly go well."

"Sometimes Felix gets like this—"

"Not Felix."

"Oh.." Jisung sighed with understanding, following your gaze to Hyunjin. "Hyunjin is protective, especially when it comes to Felix. It's been a long time since someone new joined our group, and considering your.."

"My background.."

"Yeah..that," Jisung mumbled, raking a hand through his hair. “There's history between those two, but it's mostly things that happened before I found my place in the group."

"When did you join the group, Ji?" you turned to face him, dragging your eyes away from whatever was unfolding at the cliff.

Jisung shrugged. "That is a story for another time," he said, flashing his signature grin. "Promise."

You surveyed him for a moment, sensing layers and layers of depth behind his carefree demeanor. His eyes held a narrative waiting to be told, but it was a chapter he wasn't yet ready to reveal. "I'm holding you to it," you replied, and Jisung's smile grew a little wider.

Devoid of any trees or significant cover, the wind howled through the surrounding space, sweeping up from below the cliff where Hyunjin and Felix remained. An exposed campsite meant that, to avoid the risk of drawing unwanted attention, there would be no warmth from a fire tonight. And so, the blankets were spread in a circle on the cold, uneven ground. Pulled close together for warmth.

You settled in, rummaging through your nearly empty backpack, picking at your nails, brushing the dust from your pants over and over again—anything you could to keep your eyes from straying back to the cliff.

Chan claimed the space to your right, handing over a portion of stale bread that was noticeably smaller than usual—a clear indication of your dwindling supplies. But you accepted with a grateful smile nonetheless, pushing down another concern to discuss with him later.

Too much later though, and you may need to start a list.

Unlike the night before, when adrenaline after the chase from your father's guards had fueled the sharing of memories, tonight carried something different. Animated exchanges had been replaced by contemplative silence as the boys seemed lost in their own thoughts behind heavy-lidded eyes. The exhaustion that had been building throughout the day had finally caught up with them, it seemed. And you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel it too.

Your head lifted a bit too eagerly to be discreet when the sound of approaching footsteps reached your ears. A spark of anticipation flickered within you, only to be extinguished as your eyes landed on Hyunjin.

Hyunjin settled down on Chan's other side, their words too hushed for you to catch the details. Slowly, their whispers melted away, a seamless transition from hushed dialogue to the ambiance of rustling blankets and the occasional creaking of the rover.

Your gaze wandered skyward where the stars blinked in and out of view. You watched them for a while, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to pick out constellations Jisoo had once taught you the names of. Names you had long forgotten, not that it mattered now. Tears pricked at your eyes at the thought of your former best friend, but you didn’t let them fall.

Shifting on your side, you cast a glance at the solitary figure that remained unmoving at the cliff's edge. Moonlight painted his frame in pale shades of silver as he overlooked the expanse below.

The rational part of your mind whispered that you should let him be.

Chan’s body heat would keep you comfortable enough to fall asleep, no doubt about that. And to your other side, Jisung's familiar presence offered an added measure of comfort.

But it was your name Felix had called in his sleep that morning. 

And your heart that had a tendency to rebel against the logic in your mind.

You sat up, mindful not to disturb the sleeping figures around you. The water canteen felt light in your hand as you retrieved it from your bag, quietly making your way to where Felix sat. His head turned in acknowledgment as you approached, and although his expression remained guarded, he shifted to make room for you on the beside him on the rocky outcrop.

It gets easier with time. 

If this was easier than you didn’t want to know what it had been like for him before.

“You should rest. We're safe tonight,” you said through chattering teeth as the frigid earth seeped through the fabric of your clothes.

Daring a cautious glance over the edge of the cliff, the world seemed to disappear. Swallowed by a pitch-black void, the perilous drop was only discernible thanks to scattered dots of flickering light below—tiny beacons of firelight.

Felix shifted, dangling his legs over the edge. “Any one of those fires down there could belong to them."

Them.

The mention of your father's guards stirred up that uneasy feeling in your stomach. Their pursuit would be relentless, safety tonight would never guarantee safety tomorrow. But as you looked to Felix, you knew there was more to it than that. Something had changed since that morning. The distance he'd kept, the guarded look in his eyes—it mirrored the same intensity that gripped him when he'd faced down the man from his past at Yellow Wood.

And it dawned on you that maybe he wasn't referring to your father's guards at all.

You extended a hand, offering him the canteen. "At least drink something if you're going to stay awake all night.”

Felix pressed the cool metal to his lips and took a long, necessary drink before handing it back. “Thanks,” he said, fingers brushing across your own.

As the minutes stretched, the cadence of his breathing created a soothing backdrop. The heat from his body called out to you, a magnetic pull that made sleep even more inviting.

And the next time you opened your eyes, the world had shifted. Your head had found a resting place on his shoulder, your eyes having closed long before the conscious decision to sleep was made.

"You don't have to stay," Felix murmured, a subtle indication that he'd sensed you stir from the drowsy embrace of sleep. His fingers tugged at your jacket, pulling it snug around your neck to fend off the biting cold. "I'm fine, princess,” he added, making your heart flutter at the nickname. “I just don't want to close my eyes right now."

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked quietly, lifting your head from his shoulder.

"Not really. It was just a dream," he said. But his voice carried a defensive edge, leaving no doubt that it was in fact not just a dream.

“We don't have to..But I can tell its bothering you,” your brows raised in gentle invitation, urging him to share the burden.

Felix stilled before letting out a breath, a hint of frustration taking over the exhaustion in his eyes. "Why do you care?" 

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question.

You thought of everything you'd been through—the stolen moments entangled within the danger and chaos, the intimacy you'd shared up to that point.

“I thought it was clear.." you replied, looking away. But as your words hung in the air, doubt crept in. Maybe it hadn't been clear to him that it wasn't only physical for you.

Had you even allowed yourself the chance to fully accept that?

"It's not that simple," he muttered, shifting his gaze back to the distant firelight below. He toyed with the rings adorning his hands, and you tried to ignore which one his fingers gravitated to first.

Vulnerability danced in his expression, and for a heartbeat, the desperate wish that life could indeed be that simple was palpable between you.

Felix reached up to claw through his hair, tugging at the strands. When his eyes finally returned to yours, you realized it wasn't frustration you had seen in them moments ago, but something akin to fear. 

"Felix.."

And Felix winced—he winced at the sound of his name falling from your lips. A subtle movement that might have been imperceptible to most, but painfully evident to you.

“You should go get some sleep,” he stated, jaw tensing with the effort of holding back words begging to be said. The quiet command held a touch of finality, causing a knot to form in your chest.

You took a steadying breath, the crisp night air stinging your lungs.

And maybe you shouldn’t have, but you said, "I care because I see more than the darkness in you, Felix. Those moments from the past that you think define you, they don't. I know you don't see anything good in yourself, but I do."

You set the canteen down beside him with a resounding clang before rising to your feet. "I care because I see someone worth caring for," you sighed. And then, with a slow shake of your head, you cast a final glance over the vast expanse below before turning to walk away.

Had Felix not been broken a very long time ago, your words that night might have shattered him completely. He fought hard to keep his eyes open, determined to avoid the return of the nightmare, but he fought harder against the overwhelming urge to chase after you.

Too many silent hours stretched before him until the sun would rise. Too much time for Felix to wrestle with the echoes of your words—for him to question exactly when he had begun to fall in love with you, and if it really was going to get you killed some day. Leaving him restless and tormented, alone beneath the sprawling canvas of a starlit sky.

The morning unfolded in a haze, draping the landscape in layers of fog that hung low and thick. Changbin had the map spread out on the hood of the rover, tracing the faded lines that marked the outskirts of District 5. "According to this,” he said, “we should be nearing the border of District 4 soon.”

Beside you, Seungmin leaned forward to catch a glimpse for himself. "What do we know about District 4?" he asked.

Changbin disguised any tension in his shoulders with a casual shrug, and it struck you then that you might not be the only one unfamiliar with the outer districts.

Chan tossed an empty supply bag into the back of the rover. "As we go further, we don't stop unless absolutely necessary," he said. And maybe you would've asked him why, if your attention hadn't been drawn to Jeongin at his side. His slender fingers grasped at the frame of the vehicle, strained knuckles betraying his effort to conceal the pain as he noticeably favored his injured foot.

You walked around and dropped an armful of folded blankets into the vehicle, making a mental note to keep an eye on Jeongin.

While the group prepared to continue the journey, the silence between you and Felix pulled at your thoughts, too. You’d hesitated for a moment before climbing onto the motorcycle behind him. His stoic expression, like always, did an exceptional job at masking whatever he was feeling.

Summoning a deep breath, you nudged the thoughts surrounding him to the edges of your mind. The urgency of outrunning the guards, reaching Miroh, an inevitable confrontation with your father some day—there were far more pressing concerns that demanded your focus.

And so, when the motorcycle roared to life you shifted your arms around Felix, intentionally loosening your hold.

If the freckled boy sensed the subtle change, he didn't let it show.

-

The moisture in the air hinted at an impending change.

It wasn't long before thick raindrops began to break free from low-hanging clouds. The motorcycle's wheels fought for traction, skidding on the slick terrain. Puddles formed in the lowest areas as the rain intensified, visibility deteriorating rapidly.

Raindrops pelted Felix's leather jacket as he lifted an arm to shield his eyes from the downpour. Casting a fleeting glance behind, you struggled to discern the faint outline of the rover.

Your head snapped forward again as the bike slipped, threatening to lose balance. With one hand, Felix firmly corrected the course of the motorcycle. His free hand reached out unexpectedly, and you felt the warmth of his touch as he intertwined his fingers with yours. He pulled one of your hands further around his waist, ensuring with subtle pressure that your hold around him was secure.

When he lifted his hand, you maintained the grip, fingers securely entwined.

The rain poured and poured, drenching you both. Yet, steady progress was made. You entered a narrow mountain pass, the landscape unfolding in glimpses as you pressed forward.

Steady progress was made, until the ground beneath you gave way without warning—sending the motorcycle into a sudden descent.

Even with his seasoned reflexes, Felix barely had enough time to react as it plunged downward. The air was stripped from your lungs, a dizzying mix of exhilaration and fear coursing through your veins. Your eyes squeezed shut against the onslaught of wind, and you didn't open them again until—with a jarring thud—the motorcycle reached the bottom of the incline.

The impact sent vibrations through your bones, mud spraying in a messy wave as Felix steadied the bike with a foot.

Rain-soaked strands of black hair clung to his forehead when he whipped around to face you, droplets streaming down his face. “Shit are you alright?!” his voice cut through the thunderous pounding of your heart in your ears.

But you hardly registered his words at all.

Your focus was entirely captivated by what lay over his shoulder.

A vast expanse of towering evergreen trees stretched before you. Tall and imposing, they stood like sentinels guarding whatever secrets lie inside from the rest of the world. The branches swayed as if the forest itself was alive, pulsing with energy that seemed to beckon you closer.

You were almost certain that nothing like this had been marked on the map. And it was massive. A beast all its own.

With a scowl, Felix dismounted the bike, boots sinking into the damp soil beneath. As he approached the forest, you turned to survey the steep incline behind you.

The landscape extended high and wide, like a colossal step down in the earth, stretching as far as you could discern through the curtain of rain. As you studied it, the rover appeared at the top. A sudden apparition against the stormy backdrop, the glimmer of its headlights and the silhouettes of the boys appeared as faint outlines.

Blinking against the rain, you took a few steps over to the foot of the incline. As you strained to comprehend Minho and Chan's growing shouts, Felix materialized at your side. His voice joined the chorus in an attempt to shout back however, like them, his words were swallowed by the storm.

Abandoning their efforts to communicate with you and Felix, the boys leaned together to discuss something amongst themselves.

“What are they doing?” you questioned as the rover began to make a cautious retreat from the edge above.

Felix craned his neck, squinting against the rain. "Probably going to find shelter to wait out the storm, I saw a cave entrance not too far back—"

A brilliant streak of lightning slashed across the sky, illuminating the entirety of your surroundings in a bluish-white glow. The accompanying crack of thunder tore through the air, the sheer force of the noise making your heart lurch in your chest.

Felix lowered his eyes, a softness creeping into his expression upon discovering your hand clasped tightly onto his sleeve. “If they’re going to wait it out, we'll do the same,” he said, taking your hand.

He led you across the tree line, to a colossal evergreen. Its base was substantial, the lowest branches forming a natural canopy like the skirt of a dress—large enough for both of you to slip underneath. His grip on your hand tightened briefly before pulling away. “I’ll be right back. I need to get the bike."

Reluctantly, you let go of his hand. "It’s just a little rain, princess,” he said softly before darting back out in the direction of the forest’s edge.

Beneath the the sheltering branches of the evergreen, you huddled closer to its trunk. Rough bark dug into your back as you pulled your knees up. Thunder rumbled overhead, shaking the earth beneath you.

You shut your eyes—counting the seconds, the breaths.

You thought of a refreshing cave spring echoing with deep laughter, a motorcycle ride underneath the stars. You pictured freckles like constellations, dark eyes reflecting the night sky.

Relief flooded your veins when you looked up to find Felix slipping back beneath the branches.

His shoulder brushed against yours as he sat down beside you with a tired sigh. Stretching his legs out, shadows played on his face as he gazed up through the lattice of pine needles above. “You really don't like storms, do you? You had the same look on your face that night in the tavern.” 

“I’m fine,” you protested, the words coming out sharper than you'd intended.

“So fucking stubborn,” he grumbled under his breath before shrugging out of his jacket. Every flex of his muscles was accentuated by the wet fabric that clung to him.

Not that you'd been staring.

When he draped the jacket over your shoulders, the urge to protest simmered beneath your skin, a lingering effect of your earlier frustration with him. But it was warm, familiar, and for some reason, his scent was more comforting than you'd ever understand.

So, you said nothing. 

Your bent knees found a resting place on his thigh. And beneath the heavy weight of his jacket, the thunder and lightning gradually began to lose their intimidating edge. 

When you crossed your arms for added warmth, your fingers brushed against the handle of your mother’s knife. With a subtle flick, you pulled it out and tossed it into the ground. Your eyes traveled from the gleaming blade to the engravings on the hilt, the dried blood in the crevices. And as you watched the rain wash it away, you were reminded that your father's guards weren't the only thing Felix was running from.

There was a different kind of sinister out there—a malevolence engraved into the scars you'd felt along his back. You'd wielded the knife to free him from one of them, but you weren't naive enough to think that there weren't more out there. 

The mere thought of how many might be hunting him at that very moment sent a spark of something searing up your spine.

Not fear, or sadness, but anger. A raw, primal hatred that surpassed even the disdain you felt for your own father.

“Keep clenching your jaw like that and your teeth are going to shatter,” his deep voice pulled you back from your thoughts. One of his hands found a resting place on your knee. “What’re you thinking about?” Another ominous rumble echoed from somewhere above, and he added, “Aside from the big scary thunder."

You rolled your eyes, sorting through the myriad of thoughts in your head.

Having to relive what you've been through in nightmares.

What I said to you last night.

What we did the night before.

You took a deliberate breath, the scent of rain and earth filling your lungs, and nudged his shoulder with yours. “You first.” 

His head, still resting against the tree, tilted to the side. The way he met your eyes asked, do you really want to know?

When you refused to look away, he sighed. There was a flicker of hesitation in his expression, letting you know he was on the verge of revealing something deeply personal.

“Most of the time," he began, "my memories feel like someone else’s," his throat moved, swallowing down the weight of those memories.

"But there are moments where it all comes back."

Moments. 

Moments, as in those nightmares.

Your next thought slipped past your lips, spurred by genuine concern. “Lix, are you okay? Not just after yesterday morning but..I know you've been through a lot, and..”

"I'm fine, princess," Felix managed a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. "If you want to know the truth, in a strange way I’m thankful for the nightmares.”

Because I feel like I deserve them. 

The unspoken words were written all over his face. 

You noticed the subtle tremor in his fingers as they began to tap against your knee. You adjusted your position so that you could look. at him. Really look at him.

His dark eyes, pools of endless regret, met yours. And in them you found a well of profound sadness, a lingering ache from wounds that would probably never fully heal.

A delicate touch trailed from his thumb as he brought it up to caress your bottom lip, gently drawing it back. Your breath hitched in response to the intimate contact. A sigh escaped him as he contemplated..something. And then his thumb retreated, leaving behind a tingling trail of longing in its wake. 

"You wouldn't look at me like that, if you knew everything.”

You frowned at his words, at the sudden shift in conversation and the evident self-loathing in his tone.

Before you could come up with a response, his head crashed back against the tree. “When I asked why you care last night, it's because you shouldn’t," he said.

"What do you mean?”

”I mean you shouldn't be worrying about me or my nightmares or any of the shit I carry with me," he answered immediately. "There is so much you don't know about the way I've lived, the things I've done..I am not who you think I am." 

“Then help me understand,” you urged.

But there was a flicker of something in his expression that suggested he didn’t believe he was worth your understanding.

“You can’t,” Felix emphasized. A distant look clouded his eyes, a flash of whatever it was that had crossed his features after the nightmare seemed to resurface. “You grew up with servants to meet your needs while the rest of us bled for every scrap of food and warmth. You can’t understand, y/n. And even if you could, it won't change who I am or what I've done. The blood on my hands will never wash away.” 

For a moment, the only sound was the relentless percussion of rain on the forest floor. Then, you felt something inside you snap. The princess role, the sheltered naivety that had plagued your entire existence—the pressure from pushing it all down was suddenly released under the weight of his words. 

“Is that all you see when you look at me?" your voice was sharp, edged with years of pent-up frustration. "Just a sheltered princess? Do you think that was my choice? You think I’ve never felt pain, Felix? That I haven’t seen things that will haunt me for the rest of my life?”

You shifted, the jacket slipping from your shoulders and dropping to the mud. “And who are you to decide what I can or cannot understand? You of all people should know that there is more to someone than the history they carry.”

Ignoring the bewilderment in his expression, you stood and pushed through the dense branches, pine needles scratching across your face as you stepped into the open forest. Cool droplets splashed across your skin, mingling with the heat that had begun to fill your veins. Your vision blurred with rain and tears that threatened to spill over—the culmination of years spent hidden away, a lifetime of being taught not to care about anything finally starting to unravel.

Footsteps splashed behind you. “Wait—I’m sorry,” Felix pleaded, his hand finding your shoulder with firm, gentle strength. “I didn’t mean to belittle what you’ve been though," he said, stepping in front of you.

He blinked against the falling rain, freckles glistening. "Please, y/n. I see your strength and I see how much we—I need you. And that terrifies me more than anything because—”

He caught himself, choking on the words. The voice in his head told him to let you walk away, just like he had done last night. But Felix was so goddamn tired of acting indifferent to everything around him. Whether it was the lingering tension between him and Hyunjin, the fact that the nightmares had been devouring him for years, or the way he tried to ignore how losing you would obliterate whatever small part of himself he thought might actually be worth something.

He wasn't tired, he was fucking exhausted. And the fatigue of pretending that he wasn't human was killing him.

Maybe it had been for a very, very long time.

And maybe that is why Felix found himself unable to bear it any longer. The accumulation of secrets, and pretense, and hidden emotions, it pushed and it pressed against his chest until it hurt. And it made him want to live—to experience the complete depths of life that he had been depriving himself of for as long as he could remember.

“When I said you were my weakness, princess. I meant it," he confessed, taking a subtle step closer. "There are very bad people chasing me, and they always catch up. They will again, and I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you because of me. The things they will do to you if they find out what you mean to me," he took a steadying breath, "I'm only trying to protect you, because what I feel for you is..”

His throat bobbed, preparing to continue. But before he could, you lifted a finger and gently pressed it against his lips. 

With a feather light touch, you traced a path from his lips to his cheek, to his temple and down his jawline. You stopped to caress the sensitive skin on his neck, as if trying to erase the memories burned there beneath your fingertips. 

You felt his warmth, the rapid beat of his pulse.

And you weren’t entirely sure your own heart was beating when you leaned forward to connect your lips with his.

His breath caught, as if not quite expecting it. He kissed you back, applying a tender pressure against your lips before abruptly pulling away. “If you knew what I am capable of—"

“I don’t care what you have done, Felix,” you interrupted, "I. Don’t. Care," you drowned his protests in another kiss, and his lips tasted like rain and longing and everything you were afraid to lose. "I want you, I want every part of you. And if you choose to share your past with me, although I might not fully comprehend it, it won’t change that."

You pulled back and held his gaze. "I am not afraid of you. Pushing me away won't protect me, and I'm not asking you to change, Felix, but I need you to see me for who I am now. Not the person I was expected to be in that palace. I was so broken and alone, and I don't think I even realized it until I met you. And I don't know who I am yet, but I am figuring it out because of you—because of all of you. So don't take that away from me by telling me that I shouldn't care."

As your words settled in the space between you, you decided that Felix had never looked more human to you than he did in that moment.

A lone droplet slid down his cheek, and when you leaned in to kiss it away, the taste of salt lingered on your lips. Revealing something far more profound.

Before you could react, his hands slid to your waist, warm and possessive as his lips claimed yours. He guided you until your back collided with the bare trunk of a dying tree. "I'm sorry," he whispered, thick accent sending shivers down your spine. "I'm not good at things like this, but I care about you, too. Too much, sweetheart. More than I should." The sincerity in his voice resonated with you. He meant the words—truly meant them. "There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep you safe. You know that, right?" he added, thumb brushing your cheek.

And you did. You'd felt it in his touch, when he kissed you, the way he looked at you. You nodded, tracing the contours of his face, "I’m yours, Lix."

The words came out quicker than you could register, but you didn't regret them.

Maybe it made you fucking selfish, to crave losing yourself in him when the entire world was perched upon your shoulders, but you didn't regret them.

"You were always mine," Felix breathed, "before we met, before all of this, you were never their princess," he leaned in, pressing his lips to your forehead. "You were always mine.”

And then, Felix kissed you like he was making up for all of the wasted time before you’d met—for all of the time you would lose when fate inevitably ripped you apart. He kissed you like he had been chasing you through every life before this one, and would follow through every one after.

When he ground his hips against yours, the intensity of his desire was evident in the way he murmured your name. A low, rumbling growl escaped his throat, making you acutely aware of the silence around you. The rain had ceased, leaving only the sounds of your heavy breathing and the occasional rustle of branches above.

When you shifted to grant his wandering hands access to your backside, his boot slipped in the mud. Your lips curved into a smile against his as you realized the absurdity of the situation—how ridiculous you must look shivering and drenched in rainwater, wrapped up in each other like this.

"Smooth," you teased.

Felix responded with a subtle shake of his head, a shy smile playing on his lips. Closing his eyes, he groaned softly and pressed his forehead against yours. "I hate this," he said.

You pulled back, your puzzled expression prompting a low chuckle from him.

"I just wish there was somewhere we could go," he clarified, "somewhere warm and dry," he swiped the lingering raindrops from your cheeks.

"Somewhere we could be alone," you added, lifting your arms to wrap around the back of his neck. "Just us."

Felix hummed in agreement. The desire was reflected in his eyes, a shared longing that resonated between you. But the idea of a place where the two of you could exist peacefully, away from the unforgiving grasp of reality, felt like an elusive fantasy that might always be just out of reach.

Suddenly, as if a switch had been flipped, Felix's expression gave way to a surge of profound intensity.

"Some day," he dropped his voice, "When all of this is over, I'm going to carry you back into that palace." His lips found the curve of your jaw, trailing a heated path down. "I'm going to take my time with you, princess," he nipped at the sensitive skin on your neck, causing your core to flutter with anticipation. "And then," he whispered, "I'm going to lay the world at your feet."

You held your breath as he brought one of your hands to his chest, spreading your fingers out over his beating heart. "Its yours," he said, "and I don't care what you do with it."

With your palm still pressed against his heart, a quiet realization rippled through your mind.

You might love him.

You might be a fool to think there was any part of you that didn't love Felix. And maybe you were a coward, too. Too hesitant to say the three little words hovering on your tongue, for fear that you might become addicted to how it would feel to hear them back.

Your eyes widened as another realization crossed your mind—the understanding that, in some way, loving Felix might always have been inevitable.

And you wondered if he had known it long before you.

Don't let me love you.

You hesitated, the weight of the promise casting a shadow.

But when Felix leaned in to capture your lips with his, the pull between you was too strong to resist. Something cosmic, two souls irresistibly entwined. And you only hoped he could decipher the silent declaration of your emotions lingering in the spaces between each breath.

The kiss deepened into something desperate. Heated and sensual as your tongues collided. A soft, needy sound escaped your throat when he slipped his hands underneath your shirt, cold rings making you shudder. Your arms tugged around his neck, urging him to press his body closer.

Curling your fingers in his hair, you pulled firmly, because you knew how much he liked it.

"Are you trying to get me to fuck you in the middle of this forest?" he said, stifling a groan when you repeated the action.

You laughed—a small, lighthearted chuckle against his lips. "A forest? Never. I prefer caves, actually."

He let out an amused scoff. "Is that so? I'd think someone of such high status like yourself would be into more sophisticated places..like closets."

Your mouth fell open in mock astonishment, a smile playing on your lips as you remembered that night at Clé. "What the hell were we thinking?"

"I know what I was thinking," he responded, leaning in to press his lips to your neck. "I was thinking that you're fucking irresistible," his breath against your ear made your entire body heat up. “That every time I look at you, I want you wrapped around my cock. That when we're with the guys and one of them looks at your ass," he moved his hands around to give a firm squeeze to your backside. “Or your tits," he brought his hands up to grope at your breasts, making you moan. “I want to fuck your pretty pussy in front of them until you're leaking with my cum."

A chill traveled throughout your entire body, covering your skin in goosebumps.

"Then why don't you?” you purred, “fill me up with your cum, I mean," you clarified. Although something about the idea of Felix taking you while the rest of the boy watched stirred up something in your core that you’d never felt before.

“You know why,” he groaned. His adam's apple bobbed as your hands traced along his belt, fingers grazing the skin just inside his waistband.

One of your hands slowly slid down, and you weren't surprised at all to find his already hardened cock pulsing through his pants. The hiss he let out turned to a weak groan when you tightened your grip. And god there was nothing you wouldn't have given to be alone with him and a fucking bed. You needed to taste him, to feel his heavy length on your tongue, stuffed inside your aching cunt.

He started rocking his hips into you slowly, pressing your back further into the tree. "Princess," he dragged out the word against your neck, sucking at the skin. You whimpered in response, head falling against the tree."Do something for me?" he asked.

"Anything," you managed to say.

"Jump."

And you did. Without hesitation you jumped into his arms, locking your ankles around his waist. Felix's eyes sparkled as he turned, surveying the distance between the two of you and the tree you'd taken shelter underneath earlier.

He began to step—but not toward the tree. No, toward the motorcycle beside it.

He lowered you down gently in front of the handlebars before putting his hands on them, closing you in. You recognized the glazed over look in his eyes, and you thought it might be your favorite look of his.

You knew what it meant, and you needed him too.

When your lips reconnected it was fervent. Wild, and raw, and vulnerable. His hand found its way to your neck, making your pussy throb when he lightly squeezed. And your moans mixed when his crotch rubbed against yours, pushing your ass against the front of the motorcycle.

Felix groaned deeply, trying to focus on you and not the growing throb in his dick when you grabbed his hand and shoved it to that needy spot between your legs.

"Felix," you whined, bucking your hips into his touch, "fuck me, please. I don't care where we are, just fuck me."

There was nothing Felix wouldn't have given for the chance to take his time with you. To have the luxury of time without interruption, where the whole entire world would simply fuck off for a few blissful hours. Days, maybe.

But time had never been very kind to Felix. So, without wasting any more of it, he helped you shove down your pants and underwear.

And then, his knees buckled.

He hit the ground and immediately began kissing your inner thighs, moving his face closer and closer to your cunt. And it was when he tilted his head to the side, stopping to look up at you, that you knew you were fucked. The pleasure was already building in your lower abdomen and he hadn't even put his mouth on your pussy yet.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you let out a shaky breath when his tongue finally met your folds, licking a long stripe through them. Felix brought one of your hands to his hair, and you were instantly tangling your fingers in the damp locks. He swiped his tongue in a jagged pattern, brushing his nose against your clit because likes the way it makes you squirm.

He mumbled to himself, something about how good you tasted, before his puffy lips latched on to your clit. You were on the verge of tears, hips jerking when he started sucking on the bundle of nerves, flicking at it with his tongue.

You tightened your grip on his hair, shoving his face against your pussy as your other hand reached for the handlebars behind you, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge.

He brought his fingers up and plunged them inside of you with ease, using them to scissor you open as he made out with your cunt.

“C-close,” you stuttered as his tongue dipped into your hole.

He looked up, and the sight of him on his knees with your arousal glistening on his face, was more than enough to send you over the edge.

Your thighs closed around his head, eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure ripped through you. You moaned his name, pussy throbbing and clenching around his fingers as you came.

Felix smirked against your core, slowing his pace to help you work through the orgasm.

And then, before you'd even had the chance to open your eyes, you were being flipped around and bent over the handlebars. Felix pressed the palm of his hand on your lower back, forcing your body to lean over it further.

Your eyes widened, mouth watering when you heard the clink of his belt unbuckling.

"Gonna take you like this,” he growled, the words rumbling out from his chest. And you were suddenly very thankful for the bike, because it was the only thing keeping you upright.

Felix shoved his pants down, just enough to reach for his thick cock. "Feel what you do to me baby?" He tapped it against your ass a few times before using the tip to spread your folds, gathering your slick.

"Felix," you gasped, swallowing hard. "Don't be gentle."

"Desperate little slut," he cooed, aligning himself with your dripping entrance. "My desperate little slut. Always so good for me, so wet and ready to take my cock like you were made for it."

Without warning, he slammed into you. The full length of him, so heavy and solid and filling you up so well, had your eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

"Oh," you gasped when he landed a harsh smack to your ass.

"Feels good, huh?" Felix smirked, chuckling lowly when you began to vigorously nod your head in response.

"Move, Lix," you cried, "m-move, please move."

And although he'd like to make you beg just a little bit more, Felix physically couldn't hold back any longer. He grunted as he set a steady rhythm. "Pussy's so good, fucking sucking me in baby," he moaned, pushing you further over the handlebars. He picked up the pace when you told him to, burying his face into your neck and sinking his teeth into the sensitive skin.

You emitted a broken, strangled moan when he tugged your head back by the roots of your hair, brain growing foggy with every drag of his cock along your walls. He drilled into you until his thrusts turned sloppy and irregular. When you started fucking yourself back on his dick, his hips trembled, stuttering into yours.

"Princess," he panted, breath hot against your neck, slowing his pace to try and keep himself from spilling inside of you. And Felix thought it might just be the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, when you start to beg for his cum. Whimpering incoherently about how badly you needed him to fill you up with his seed.

"Felix," you cried, feeling your second orgasm building, "feels so fucking good, keep going, keep going, I'm g-gonna—" you whimpered, inhaling sharply as you cum again, tears pricking at your eyes as you cream on his cock.

Felix bit his lip as your walls fluttered around him. His deep moans turned into pretty high-pitched sounds. And he was cursing, words you’d never even heard before, when his hips suddenly stilled.

"Ah, fuck—" he shuddered when he started to spill inside of you. He hurriedly pulled out, wrapping his hand around his pulsating length as he finished in his palm.

When you were coherent and able to feel your limbs again, you turned to look at him.

Felix was panting, chest heaving, as he came down from his own high. His hand was covered in his own sticky release. And you weren't quite sure if it was leftover rain or beads of sweat rolling down his face, but he was beautiful. Lips parted, dark eyes blown wide with pleasure.

He looked up, meeting your gaze with a tired half smile, and it broke something within you.

In that split second, you recognized that you might love him even more than you'd thought. And it was a feeling tainted with a subtle undercurrent of fear—the metaphorical nail in a shared coffin.

Because you're pretty sure it is going to get both of you killed some day.

Imprinted on your skin, Felix's scent mixed seamlessly with the clean breeze that enveloped you upon stepping out from beneath the trees—his warmth a comforting presence at your back.

Something caught your eye, bringing your attention to the top of the incline where the rover had returned, its metallic exterior gleaming.

As you surveyed the narrow drop, a daunting realization began to take hold. The slope stretched on in either direction, leaving no choice but for the boys to make their own descent if you were to reunite.

While you contemplated whether or not the angle might be gradual enough to allow for a cautious descent, Chan's voice rang out from above. “Stay back! We'll come to you!"

Felix cast a worried glance up and down the slope. "It's too steep," his lips tightened into a thin line as the tires inched closer to the edge above.

Charged, electrifying silence filled the air, heightening every detail of your surroundings—the engine's low hum, the rhythmic drip drip drip of water from the branches at your back.

"Maybe they should.." you hesitated, searching for an alternative that didn't exist. But it wouldn't have mattered anyway, because your voice was drowned out by the screeching protests of metal against rock.

With a sudden lurch, the rover initiated its descent.

The first tentative movements sent a cascade of loose rocks tumbling down the slope. The vehicle jerked and swayed in tandem with Chan's adjustments to the wheel, suspension audibly groaning underneath the strain.

Just when it seemed it might conquer the descent unscathed, the air was shattered by a stark crunch as one of the headlights collided with a protruding rock.

The impact sent shockwaves throughout the vehicle, a collective gasp escaping the group as Chan lost control.

In a frantic sequence of events, Minho leaned over, grappling with the wheel to help Chan regain traction. Changbin shot an arm out to grip the open frame, and Jisung buried his head in his hands.

Felix took a shuffling step forward, propelled by instinct to help the boys. Your fingers wrapped around his arm, yanking him back as the rover slammed against solid ground at the bottom of the incline.

The collision resonated through the air, leaving each of you speechless.

Jisung's wide eyes met yours, peering up from beneath the curtain of hair that had fallen into his face at the impact. A disbelieving smile fell across his lips, as if the absurdity of the situation had struck him in that moment. And you couldn't help but return the smile, shaking your head in relief as you acknowledged the collective insanity that had become your reality.

Chan's shoulders slumped and he bowed his head, taking a moment to collect himself. A mere ten seconds passed before he straightened his posture. Stepping down from the vehicle, he crossed his arms over his chest, muttering a curse as his eyes narrowed to the broken headlight.

The rest of the boys disembarked following Chan. Changbin pulled the map from his jacket, taking note of its condition before handing it over to him, and the group gathered around their leader in anticipation.

Chan's brow furrowed in concentration. A moment of disbelief crossed his features before he began to shake his head. "This entire forest isn't even on the map," his eyes lifted to sweep across the endless expanse of trees.

An exchange of looks rippled through the group as you waited for his next words.

"We can waste fuel trying to get around it,” he finally offered, "Or..." his gaze returned to the map.

“Or,” Minho interjected, catching everyone's attention, "we go through it."

The simplicity of his statement held a sense of something bold—a willingness to face the unknown head-on.

The forest did represent the unknown..But it had to end eventually. The fuel was dwindling, every one of you knew it, and wasting it in an attempt to find a way around the forest could be just as dangerous as navigating straight into its heart.

A decision loomed, demanding a choice that balanced the unknown with the practical constraints you faced.

Chan looked to Felix, seeking guidance in the unspoken language they shared. Felix, in turn, redirected his gaze to Hyunjin. The exchange unfolded like a ritual, a pattern the three of them had followed countless times before.

Silent affirmation in the form of a single nod from Felix was all it took for Chan to make the decision. “We go through," he declared.

Jisung cleared his throat, placing a hand on the back of his neck. “It can’t be any worse than what we’ve been through so far, right?”

His attempt at optimism, although appreciated for its intent, was quickly overshadowed by the ominous presence of the trees that loomed behind you.

Changbin squared his shoulders, cocking the heavy weapon in his arms. "Too late to turn back now," he caught your eye, and you nodded in silent agreement along with the rest, his voice echoing endlessly in your mind.

Too late to turn back now.

-

The forest held an ancient energy, a guardian of untold history. The growl of the engines harmonized as they wove cautiously between trees with an undercurrent of something otherworldly, something wild.  

The further the group pressed on, the more it triggered an unexpected wave of discomfort in Felix. His chest tightened as vast horizon was replaced by the suffocating confinement of dense foliage. It brought to light an aspect of himself that he hadn't consciously acknowledged before—how deeply he had come to rely on the open sky and the sense of freedom it provided.

As the familiar feeling of being hunted settled in his bones, his eyes darted anxiously back and forth, scanning for shadows that danced in patterns at the edges of his vision. The words he'd confessed to you about who was chasing him echoed in his thoughts, and he half-expected their figures to materialize from the shadows at any moment—

No.

They couldn't have followed the nine of you out here.

The journey, the logistical challenges it would've taken to track your path through the districts..Not to mention that your group would’ve been long gone by the time they'd realized the fate of the man they'd sent after him at Yellow Wood—the man you'd killed to protect him.

The man whose name was enough to elicit a visceral response from Felix, the scars on his back tingling with every syllable as it resonated through his mind.

"They couldn't have," he muttered under his breath. They couldn't have followed you. They couldn't have.

But what if—

"Felix!" your shout pierced his thoughts, snapping his focus back to the path in front of the motorcycle.

Shit.

The wheels jerked violently as he veered to avoid a large ditch filled with rainwater and mud. The bike danced on the edge of disaster, narrowly avoiding the hidden hazard.

Felix’s eyes widened in realization as he twisted around. “Chan, watch out!” his voice boomed, echoing through the trees, but the warning was futile.

The rover was following far too closely behind.

It's front end plunged first, followed by a moment of suspense before the back wheels followed suit—the mud greedily swallowing them whole.

Despite the churning tires, the vehicle was forced into an abrupt halt. A chorus of frustrated exclamations filled the air, Chan's curses cutting through the loudest as he slammed his hands on the steering wheel in defeat.

You and Felix quickly abandoned the motorcycle, hands pressing onto the muddied surface of the rover. The rest of the boys, excluding Chan and Jeongin, joined you in a synchronized effort to push it out.

Muscles strained, boots sank into the earth, the wheels budged slightly, but despite your collective strength..

Nothing.

Chan unleashed his building frustration by forcefully slamming his foot on the gas pedal once more. The engine responded with a thunderous roar—thick clumps of mud scattering in every direction from the tires, still locked in a futile struggle.

"Chan, stop!" Minho called out, covering his eyes as he stepped back.

Thick sludge splattered across your clothes, adhering to every fiber. You rubbed your eyes to wipe it from your face, and when your vision cleared you realized that the situation had transcended beyond mere inconvenience.

The fading daylight had begun to cast eerie shadows around you. The gravity of your predicament sank in—how utterly alone you were, and it was the first time you thought that might be a bad thing.

Jeongin, confined to the vehicle due to his injured foot, swiveled around to observe the group. He put a hand over his mouth to conceal the sound that escaped his lips. However, what began as a tentative giggle soon evolved, bubbling up from the depths of his chest into hearty laughter. "You guys look awful,” he mused, dimples on full display.

The group exchanged glances, surveying their disheveled appearances.

Hyunjin, in particular, appeared thoroughly offended by his ruined clothing. His disgusted expression only fueled the laughter that had begun to grow around you.

Seungmin protested as Changbin (forcefully) pulled him into a hug, smearing even more mud onto his clothes.

And beside you, Felix's perfect face was seemingly untouched by the mess that adorned the rest of him. It prompted you to swipe some of the mud from your cheek and transfer it to his. The act elicited a surprised, but amused reaction from the freckled boy as the corners of his mouth twitched, his eyes meeting yours with a hint of appreciation for the unexpected playfulness.

Even Chan couldn't stifle a small chuckle as he stole a glance at the group through the rearview mirror.

Surrounded by the laughter of those you had slowly come to trust, you were reminded of what had brought you there in the first place—why it was so important to dismantle your father's oppressive regime for good.

Despite the encroaching night, darkness had yet to fully envelop the surroundings. There was still daylight left. One more challenge was added to the list of those you faced, but there was something about the boys and their resilience that instilled a small sense of hope in you. Making you feel as if their collective strength might just see you through the uncertainties ahead.

And if not, well it was far too late to turn back now.

With the ground unsuitable for spreading blankets, the process of setting camp mainly involved finding patches of drier ground to rest.

You observed the deliberate effort each of the boys made to avoid peering at the rover, the eyesore that it was. Chan was the only one who hadn't left its side, his mind undoubtedly concocting some kind of plan to free it come morning. “Hopefully”, he said to no one in particular as he kicked one of the tires, “we’ll be able to get it out after the mud dries.”

Your fingers fiddled with the laces of your boots, tying them over and over again to divert them from scratching at the drying mud on your skin. With each of you reluctant to waste your precious water supply on a mere rinse, you held on to the possibility that tomorrow's journey might lead you to a stream.

A yearning for the refreshing waters of the cave spring developed within you, intensifying with each passing moment. But it wasn't just the longing for cleanliness that fueled your desire to be back there.

Your eyes darted to Felix, crouched down beside you. Absorbed in concentration, his tongue habitually poked out the side of his mouth as he worked alongside Changbin to start a fire. His dark hair was up, a few strands escaping the confines of the tie to delicately frame his face.

You shook your head, refocusing your on Jeongin seated against a log at the edge of the clearing.

Felix glanced up when you touched his arm gently. His eyes followed your movement as you stood, the soft crunch of leaves beneath your boots resonating in the quiet surroundings.

The mossy surface of the log pressed against your back as you lowered yourself down next to Jeongin. "How're you holding up?" you asked, eyes trailing back to Felix as he returned to work on the fire.

"Could be worse," Jeongin replied softly. You pursed your lips, a moment of silence passing between you before he spoke again. "Can I be honest?"

"Of course," you said, inviting him to share his thoughts.

His fists clenched, fingers digging into the soggy grass beneath.

"Please don't tell the others," he began, quieting his voice. "But if we can't get it out," he gestured toward the rover, "I'm worried about slowing everyone down. I just don't want to be a burden if we have to continue on foot, you know?"

"Jeongin you are not a burden," you were quick to reply, "and nobody is leaving you behind. Whatever happens, we'll find a way to get to Miroh. All of us."

When he failed to respond, you reached out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. You turned to meet his eyes, and your stomach dropped.

A film of sweat covered his forehead. His complexion had taken on an unsettling pallor, and you guessed that if you were to press your hand to his forehead, it would be burning hot despite the chill in the air.

You fought to maintain a reassuring smile as your gaze swept across the clearing, landing on Minho. He was engrossed in the meticulous task of inspecting and wiping down the remaining firearms with Jisung.

With silent intensity, you begged him to look up.

The air seemed to still as you waited, sounds of the forest fading. When Minho finally raised his eyes to meet your own, the unspoken plea in your expression was clear.

With quick, fluid movement, he excused himself and made his way over where to you and Jeongin sat.

Minho knelt down in front of Jeongin, breaking the tension with small talk as he carefully unlaced his boot. He gently pulled back the bandages to assess the strain on the wound, and despite the stitches holding together well, the surrounding skin displayed signs of inflammation.

Amidst your focus, a sudden grunt of frustration sliced through the air.

Your eyes followed the source of the disturbance to Changbin and Felix. The duo was still locked in a battle with the damp leaves and twigs that refused to ignite—each failed attempt only deepening their shared frustration as the daylight waned.

You stole one more quick glance at Jeongin’s food before rising to your feet. “We need to find dry wood,” you announced.

But you were immediately caught off guard when the deep, resonant timbre of Felix's voice intertwined with Minho's softer tone as they both volunteered to accompany you.

The unexpectedness of Minho's offer left even Hyunjin standing motionless with raised eyebrows across the clearing.

Felix cleared his throat, maintaining his crouched position next to Changbin. A hesitant glance unfolded between him and Minho before he muttered, “Yeah..you two go.”

Minho got to his feet, seemingly unbothered by the reaction he'd caused. Stepping up to your side, he gestured to the forest behind you. "We're losing daylight."

Obviously.

As he strode past you, heading for the trees, you briefly glanced back to the others.

Felix had already returned to the task of trying to coax a spark from the wet kindling. Chan had found his way around the back of the rover—now absorbed in taking inventory of your remaining supplies. Jisung gave you a meaningful look, motioning with his eyes for you to catch up to Minho..

And so, with a determined breath and nothing to lose, you followed the boy from District 9 into the encroaching twilight.

-

It was as if even the forest held its breath, as if it were sentient and fully aware of the undercurrents of tension between you and Minho.

Silence draped between you, thick and uncomfortable, as Minho guided the way. You glared at the back of his head, making note of the distinctive shade of his hair—gray or perhaps a faded light blue, with grown out roots revealing the natural color underneath.

In District 9, it wasn't uncommon for residents to dye their hair various shades—a symbol of status due to the expense of such indulgences. The gradient of Minho's hair made you wonder just how long he had been away from his home district.

Your home district.

As you considered the shared connection between the two of you, Minho broke the silence. “His foot, its..” 

"I know," you replied.

"Infections can spread fast, especially out here.”

“I know.”

Minho sighed in annoyance, as if holding a conversation with you was some sort of burden. “I didn’t want to discuss it with the others,” he snapped.

And it dawned on you that it wasn't the burden of talking with you, but rather the responsibility of his concern for Jeongin that strained his expression. He didn’t want to discuss it with the others because he didn’t want to worry the others. Choosing to confide in you instead.

“What can we do?” you asked softly, although the answer was already clear.

“Not much,” Minho confirmed, “start a fire, boil water to sterilize it with, and..” 

"Wait," you breathed, without missing the way he tensed at the word.

Cleaning Jeongin's wound would be a temporary measure. It wouldn't heal the infection, but it might prevent it from worsening too quickly. Which would give you the time you needed until you got to Miroh where there might be medical supplies. Antibiotics, if you were lucky.

And if not..

“Look," your eyes caught on a fallen tree with branches that appeared drier than the rest. Relief, albeit a small thread of it, weaved through your senses. You pointed to it and began to cross the distance, Minho falling into step beside you.

Together, you began to break off the dead branches. The brittle material snapped easily underneath your grip, the silence interrupted only by the sharp cracking of wood as you worked. But your fingers stilled when you caught sight of that thin bracelet adorning Minho’s wrist. The trinket glimmered softly in the fading light. Its delicate beauty contrasted sharply with your surroundings, reminding you you once again of the life you had left behind—the privileges and sorrows intertwined in your past.

You studied the intricate design and elegance of that gold piece..so out of place.

Why wear it out here, where its value could mean a death sentence?

Lost in the depths of your thoughts, you didn't notice the pause in Minho's own movement. His fingers wrapped around a branch while his gaze bore into you, even as yours remained fixed on the bracelet.

In that moment, a daring impulse seized you. Screw it, you thought. The seething hatred you held for District 9 and the memories it carried ran deep, yet a peculiar sense of comfort washed over you in the knowledge that Minho might understand in a way that the others couldn’t.

For the briefest instant, you allowed yourself to wonder if perhaps Minho shared the same longing for someone who understood.

Screw it.

“If I hadn’t already known you were from District 9,” you started, “that would confirm it.” You brought your eyes from the bracelet to meet his gaze as you resumed your work, snapping another branch.

Minho’s own eyes tinged with something darker than nostalgia as he let out a dry chuckle. “There's no sob story to it, if thats what you’re wondering. No lost loved one, no tragic incident. It's just a piece of metal.” His tone suggested a desire to seal off the conversation, end it there. But your intuition sensed the unspoken pain behind his words.

“If it doesn’t have any meaning,” you pressed, “then why wear it? Isn't it dangerous? Valuable things like that..I’m sure people would kill for them out here.”

Minho’s eyes flitted away, as if trying to decide whether or not to continue. “It did belong to my mother,” he admitted, “but I don’t wear it for her. She was a cruel women and she probably still is. I have no love for her memory."

His gaze returned to yours, firm and resolute. “I wear it because it reminds me of why I left.”

Minho’s sudden vulnerability left you wondering what had changed between you, brow furrowing. “Yes, my family is from District 9," he continued, “and they live comfortably while so many struggle to survive. This bracelet is a symbol of that privilege, of the divide."

“Sounds a lot like more than just a piece of metal to me,” you mumbled, eyeing him cautiously.

A brief pause suggested Minho had shared as much as he was willing. His gaze swept over you, scrutinizing the details of your disheveled appearance. He took in the worn edges of your clothing and the mud-streaked lines on your face, before his eyes landed at the spot on your neck where Felix's mark had once been.

You pulled your jacket up, raising your eyebrows at him.

What?

Minho let out a puff of air from his nose, a sort of half-laugh, half-scoff. The tension in his forehead slowly relaxed, the sharp angles of his expression softening. “I spent the majority of my life in District 9, closer to the palace than you might think," he revealed, "and I never once caught a glimpse of you. There were rumors of your existence, but nobody ever saw you."

A resigned sigh escaped his lips. “I hated every moment of my life there—the constant surveillance, the price paid by those who dared to step out of line. And I think I’m finally starting to understand how unbearable it must have been for you to be confined within those walls. Unseen, unheard, without any idea of what was out here," he gestured to the surrounding wilderness.

The stillness following his words was disrupted by the involuntary snap of a branch succumbing to the pressure of your grasp. Your mouth dropped and you attempted to conceal the subtle gasp that followed, praying Minho wouldn't be able to discern the astonishment you felt.

As your eyes lifted, preparing to articulate the thoughts still struggling for coherence in your mind, your attention was captured by movement just beyond his shoulder.

Amidst the foliage, a delicate tendril of smoke curled upward, spiraling into the sky. You followed the trail down to the source, where a barely visible chimney revealed itself through the trees—an apparent sign that you weren't as alone as you had once believed.

-

You returned to the campsite cradling a bundle of dry branches in your arms. Felix's face lit up at the sight, however his dark eyebrows raised in silent inquiry when he noticed the expression on your face. He accepted the branches as you handed them over, kneeling down beside him.

"Did something happen?" he asked, following the trajectory of your gaze to where Minho was approaching Chan across the clearing.

“We found a small cottage not too far away," you began, helping him arrange the branches. "We didn't get close enough to see if anyone was inside, but there was smoke coming from the chimney.”

A mixture of curiosity and apprehension took hold of his freckled features as you continued. “If someone lives there, there could be medical supplies or something useful for Jeongin's foot."

His eyes drifted toward Jeongin, now dozing off with his head on Seungmin's shoulder.

"He has a fever, Lix," you added with a note of urgency.

Felix swallowed, grappling with your words. "Let's say they do happen to have what we need," sparks flew from the friction of wood meeting wood beneath his hands. He maintained focus, coaxing the flames into existence. "You think they’ll just hand it over to a group of strangers?"

A brief pause followed before he asserted, "They won’t."

"Then we’ll take it,” you answered plainly. Felix’s eyes widened and you emphasized, “Without hurting them.” 

His eyes sparkled as the first glimmer of flames emerged, heart-shaped lips curving into a smile. “Well would you look at that, princess," he mused, "you might just be one of us after all.”

The weathered stone cottage stood as an oddity against the wild, untamed forest.

The towering pines devoured the moonlight, plunging the surroundings in velvety darkness. Beside, you, Felix moved as if he were part of the shadows themselves—someone who had adapted to the darkness in ways you could only begin to imagine.

The two of you—along with Minho, Chan, and Hyunjin—had dispersed around the cottage to get a better idea of who might be inside.

Its circular windows were devoid of curtains or cover, as if whoever resided within had nothing to hide from prying eyes. Flickering light spilled out into the darkness as the scent of burning firewood filled the air—an indicator of the warmth within those walls.

Each step Felix took was guided by muscle memory—a hunter’s instinct, as he left no trail of his passage behind. Darkness seemed to seep from his eyes to combat the soft moonlight. The lethal gleam behind them whispered of his past deeds, reminding you that he was the survivor of a world in which he had been forced into the role of predator rather than prey.

Felix pivoted without a sound, hands delicately grasping your arms. His eyes softened upon meeting yours, acknowledging the fleeting startle he'd caused you. "Stay here," he whispered, a soft command. His gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before he turned back toward the cottage.

You watched with bated breath as he approached one of the open windows. His eyes narrowed, catching on something inside, someone, perhaps—

“What the hell is he doing?!” a voice hissed from behind you.

You whirled around, instinctively reaching for your knife.

“Shit, Chan.“

“I said not to get too close,” Chan continued, disregarding the glare you shot him.

Before you could voice your irritation any further, Felix silently returned to your side. His hand made its way to your lower back, a feather-light touch to alert you of his presence. “There’s a man inside. Just one, from what I can tell.”

The sudden crack of a brittle branch underneath a heavy boot had all three of your heads snapping to the left. Minho and Hyunjin emerged from the shadows, their words echoing Felix's earlier revelation about a single man within the confines of the cottage.

"If he's the only one inside, we might be able to explain our situation and ask for help," Chan said.

Felix withdrew his hand from your back, deftly pulling down the bandana that matched each of your own. The fabric slid down the lower half of his face, unveiling tense features. "We don't know who this man is or what he's capable of.” 

“What if he seems hostile or refuses to cooperate?” Hyunjin chimed in. As his slender fingers adjusted the strap across his chest, the metallic clink of the firearm secured to his back punctuated the air.

The tension thickened as Chan took a moment to contemplate the options. His hand fell to his own weapon, subtly tracing the familiar contours. "Maybe we should wait until morning,” he suggested. And the words, like always, came out laden with the weight of responsibility. “People can be unpredictable. If we wait until morning it gives us the advantage of daylight and more time to assess the situation.”

Impatience flickered across Minho's features, his eyebrows drawing together. "We can't afford to wait," he stressed, "Jeongin has a fever and it isn’t going to improve on its own. If we wait until morning, even a few hours, it worsens that much more. And it will just keep escalating until—"

"Alright," Chan conceded, features softening at the mention of the youngest. “If we're going to do this we need to be cautious. Charging in blindly could make things worse, not only for Jeongin but for all of us.” He swallowed hard, eyes traveling across each of your faces.

"So, what's our plan?" you spoke up, highlighting your commitment to whatever course of action they chose.

"What if we should just knock," Chan shrugged, "it's a simple gesture, non-threatening..”

Felix scoffed audibly from beside you, the sound startling a bird into flight from somewhere above. “Knock?" he lowered his voice to a whisper, "we might as well hand over our weapons while we’re at it."

"Paint targets on our foreheads too," Hyunjin muttered.

Chan shot each of them a disapproving glare. His hand instinctively rose, fingers tracing the scar along the bridge of his nose.

Although walking up and knocking on a stranger's door in the middle of the night did seem a bit absurd, you understood the rationale behind Chan's strategy—an attempt to approach the unknown with some semblance of diplomacy before considering more aggressive measures.

"I should do it," you offered, aiming to sound as indifferent as possible despite the quickening thud of your heart in your chest. "I might seem less threatening, and he might be more willing to talk if he sees me alone."

All eyes suddenly turned to you. Felix stiffened, but Minho intervened before he could protest.

"She has a point,” Minho looked to Chan, “given the circumstances, if he thinks she’s a woman alone in the middle of the night he might be more inclined to trust her and offer aide.”

Felix's expression twisted into a deep scowl, blatantly directed at Minho. "Or take advantage of her," his voice dropped to a near growl.

"That's why we'll be right here,” Chan offered.

Felix restrained himself from voicing any further objections, yet the discontent on his face remained visible. He was desperate to help Jeongin, too. He acknowledged the necessity of the plan, understood the logic, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

Hyunjin shifted restlessly. "What if we wait until he goes to sleep?" he said, turning to you, “approaching his doorstep in the middle of the night might raise suspicions."

“So what, you want to break in instead?” you countered.

"It's not like we haven't done it before," Hyunjin snapped.

Your arms crossed as you locked eyes with him in a challenging stare. He gritted his teeth and ran a hand through his golden locks, a self-assured gesture that—as much as you would rather die than admit it—highlighted the way Hyunjin was objectively quite stunning.

As his gaze held yours, there was a slight falter in the sharpness of his stare. Almost hinting that that he had made the suggestion in a discreet attempt to protect you from approaching the man alone.

Almost.

Feeling the weight of the others' eyes shifting between you and Hyunjin, you drew in a breath. "I'll go," you said, addressing Chan. “There’s no way this ends well if we get caught breaking in. If I talk to him, I might at least be able to find out if he has what we need. And if he refuses to help us then we can do what needs to be done for Jeongin.”

Chan nodded. "Talk to him at the doorstep. If things seem off, call for us. We'll be right here, yeah?"

"Just be careful," Felix added quietly from beside you. 

The corners of his eyes creased with worry, but there was trust within them. He reached over to tap on the hilt of your knife, a silent reminder of its presence, and you offered a faint smile in reply.

Aware of the collective gaze fixed on your back, you warily approached the cottage. The sight of Jeongin's fevered state replayed over and over in your mind, propelling every step as you inched closer to the plain, wooden door awaiting your touch.

Lifting a hand, you prepared to rap your knuckles against the weathered surface when an unexpected disruption seized your motion.

Before you could make contact with the door, it began to creak open. The hinges groaned, worn with age, as a sudden brightness flooded out into the night.

Squinting against the intrusion of light, your eyes instinctively dropped to a pair of worn-out leather shoes visible just across the threshold.

“I've been wondering when you lot were finally going to gather the courage to come and talk."

Your head shot up to meet the source of the voice, eyes widening as they settled on the man standing before you. His features were a testament to years spent at the edge of the wilderness. Dark hair, unkempt and graying at the temples, framed a face adorned with a rugged beard. The beard, though not long, carried a battered look, much like the rest of his appearance.

Despite the late hour, there was something peculiar about the way his eyes gleamed, a gaze perpetually attuned to his surroundings. A faint smile played on his lips as he studied your reaction, regarding you with calm curiosity.

Then, in one swift motion, he moved to close the distance between you. You stumbled back, heart drumming a rapid beat in your chest. 

“Come on out!” his voice shattered the night, startling you into a breathless pause. He raised an arm and made a sweeping gesture directed at where the boys were hidden, as if he were inviting them over.

Your mouth fell, the astonishment in your own features reflected by each of the boys as they cautiously emerged from the brush.

The man turned, leaving the door open as he retreated back into the dimly lit interior. "You're lucky you found this place when you did," he said, addressing you over his shoulder.

Hesitant to follow, you lingered in the doorway, absorbing the details of the interior.

Stone walls enclosed the space in a large room, a single hallway extending out of view at the other end. The thatched roof was woven meticulously from bundles of dried straw, forming a gentle slope overhead. A narrow opening ushered smoke from the fireplace into the night sky, and an armchair sat facing the flames, a stack of freshly chopped wood at its feet.

Dry wood.

To your left, a small kitchen area was tucked against the wall. The air inside the cottage was rich with the enticing aroma of something savory bubbling above the rustic stove. It was a scent so captivating that it coaxed you to take a step over the threshold.

As the boys cautiously filtered in behind you, the man settled down at a small table adorned with scattered parchment. His relaxed demeanor made it seem as though he were accustomed to welcoming unexpected, armed guests into his home.

Felix took a deliberate step forward to position himself between the man and the rest of you. His eyes drilled into the stranger, scouring for any sign of ill intent. Despite the absence of a weapon, the way Felix stood made it clear that he didn't need one.

Chan hurriedly moved to join him. His hand found its way to Felix's shoulder, settling on the area where the branded mark lay concealed beneath his clothing—a warning touch. A silent caution to tread carefully.

As Chan visibly grappled with the situation, his mouth opened and closed in a struggle to find the words to start some sort of conversation.

The man chuckled, "You're wondering why I've welcomed you into my home."

The boys stood their ground, but not one of them spoke. They just stared, making you wonder if this was the first time they'd been willingly invited into a stranger's home.

The man leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "You’ve been circling my home for the better part of the night. I figure if you'd wanted to kill me you would have gotten to it by now," he said, eyes flicking to the imposing firearm strapped to Hyunjin's back. "But something tells me you didn't come all this way just for a friendly chat, did you?"

“Actually...Uh, sir,” Chan managed to find his voice, but you cringed a bit at the awkwardness it carried. "What we're looking for are medical supplies."

Minho stepped up. "Something to combat infection or fever," he clarified.

The man leaned back in contemplation. He surveyed each of you individually, eyes alight with amusement as if he found the whole situation mildly entertaining.

When his gaze fell upon you, Felix executed a deliberate shift in position. He planted himself directly in front of you, an unmistakable signal that he was fiercely protective of your well-being.

The man's faint smile morphed into a wry, knowing smirk as he looked Felix up and down. "Medical supplies, huh? You all look fine to me," he remarked.

"It's not for any of us," Chan's voice carried a hint of desperation. He paused to gauge the man's reaction before adding, "It’s for our youngest," likely hoping to evoke some sympathy.

The man arched an eyebrow. “There are more of you?"

Minho nodded, "We are a small group, just trying to survive."

"Survival," the man drew out the word, tasting it. “This is not the first time survival has brought strangers to my home in search of help."

"We don't have much to offer in return, but we are willing to trade," Chan offered.

The man's eyes narrowed, probing for sincerity behind his words. "Your friend must be very important to you," he stated, "but trading is not something I require. As you can see, I have everything I need within these walls.”

His fingers began to tap rhythmically against the arm of his chair, an unsettling sound that filled the air as he weighed the value of whatever he was considering.

"Despite that, I will provide you with what you need," he settled on.

A subtle release of tension spread through the room. Minho's stoic facade betrayed a flicker of relief. Chan allowed his posture to ease ever so slightly, Hyunjin withdrew his hand from the weapon strap across his chest.

Yet, amidst the delicate shift in energy, Felix remained an exception. Unmoved by the apparent relief settling in around him, his taut stance, though not overtly aggressive, showed no signs of relenting.

"Go collect your friend," the man waved a hand at the door, "I will shelter you for the night. You're young, exhausted, and it looks like you've been through quite a lot."

Alarm bells should have been ringing in your head.

The whole situation should have been unnerving. And in several ways, it was. But there was an inexplicable aura surrounding the man. Beneath the sly arrogance that colored his expressions, an undercurrent of compassion emerged. As he spoke, you couldn't help but notice the sadness that flitted across his eyes when he took in your group. There was a depth of profound humanity within those eyes—the kind of empathy you had never witnessed in your father—and it resonated with you.

As Chan started to voice his reservations, the man halted him with a raised hand. “I understand the reluctance to trust a stranger. You're cautious, and rightfully so. I see the weapons you carry, I know that you had the means to storm in here and take what you need, perhaps at my expense. Yet, you opted to knock on my door,” he chuckled lightly, shaking his head, "and that tells me something about each of you. Kindness begets kindness. Your group has demonstrated a courage that not many possess. And for that, I offer my aid.”

A stunned silence enveloped the room.

"Thank you," Chan expressed softly, each syllable carrying the weight of collective relief.

While the boys prepared to leave, your focus lingered on the man. A slight limp accompanied his movement as he stood—the permanent mark of an old injury to his left leg.

Felix glided across your path with a gentle brush to your arm, a silent signal to get the hell out of there. He took the lead, aiming to be the first one outside to ensure that there weren't any potential traps or threats awaiting you beyond the door.

Just as you were about to cross the threshold, something prickled at the edges of your senses. A barely perceptible exhale, too close for comfort, brushed against your ear.

The man's raspy voice came as a hushed whisper, intended for your ears alone. “A loyal guard dog you've got there,” he murmured, jerking his chin toward Felix.

You froze.

The blood in your veins threatened to boil at the comparison of Felix to a dog. But there was no malice in his tone, only a recognition of the connection. Almost as if he were measuring your reaction, trying to elicit a response from you.

And so, you willed that surge of heat to simmer.

Suppressing whatever fiery response had been brewing inside of you, you picked up your pace and stepped out into the night.

The decision to regroup and head back to the cottage had been met with skepticism. But, nine against one felt like decent odds, and the weapons your group possessed seemed to tip the scales in favor of the majority.

Upon re-entering the stone walls, you found the atmosphere had shifted. The man—still a mysterious figure with an unnamed identity—was in the midst of preparing something new over the stove.

Shallow breaths escaped Jeongin's lips as he settled into the armchair. The firelight played upon his features, highlighting the film of glistening sweat on his skin.

"I'm making a remedy from the herbs I've gathered,” the man announced from the kitchen. “This will help reduce his fever and fight the infection. Nature provides us with everything we need, if we know how to use it."

He went on to explain the properties of each ingredient he'd carefully measured and crushed. His words suggested a deep connection to the land and its resources. Everything felt genuine enough, and still, your intuition screamed at you to be cautious. A scowl crept across your face as he periodically glanced to you, his earlier comment about Felix ringing in your mind.

The collective watchfulness of the group intensified as the room filled with the soothing aroma of a fragrant tea. "This will help him," the man stated calmly as he poured a cup.

As he approached Jeongin with the steaming amber liquid, Felix's hands clenched into tight fists. The freckled boy focused intently on Chan, as if he were waiting for some kind of signal to release the restrained energy inside of him. The darkness swirling in his eyes hinted that, at the slightest cue from Chan, he would spring into action without a moment's hesitation.

You swallowed. Hard. When the man extended the cup toward Jeongin's lips, a sudden surge of panic gripped you. "Wait—"

Felix flinched sharply beside you, a ripple of tension coursing through his frame. Hyunjin, startled by your interruption, reached for the firearm still strapped to his back. Changbin took an instinctive step forward, ready to shield if need be.

The room held its breath, each of you caught in the precarious balance between conflict and composure.

The man turned, observing each of your faces. A sigh escaped him. A heavy, pitiful sound. And then, he lifted the cup and took a measured sip, his eyes locking onto yours.

“It is safe," he said after swallowing, "I have brewed this remedy countless times for myself." He held the cup out to you, making room for you to take his place beside Jeongin.

Cradling the cup in your hands, the warmth seeped through your fingertips. Jeongin stirred, eyelashes fluttering against the pale flush of his skin as you stepped up beside the armchair.

Feeling the need for guidance, you thought of Chan. Then, Felix. Jisung, an unpredictable force, lingered in your considerations too.

But when your head lifted, it wasn't Chan, Felix, or Jisung you looked to.

Minho nodded in silent reassurance, and it was all you needed to bring the cup to Jeongin's lips.

After he'd taken the last sip of the remedy, you turned and looked the man dead in the eyes as you pushed the cup back into his hands. "If anything happens to him because of this," you asserted, "I won't hesitate to kill you myself."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Felix's lips twitch upward. And in that subtle expression, you could’ve sworn you detected something that looked a lot like pride.

-

As the night wore on, something incredibly rare began to settle over your group—a blooming sense of trust. The culmination of the day's events, coupled with the comforting atmosphere inside the cottage gradually pulled each of you into a sense of security.

With Jeongin's condition showing signs of stabilizing, Hyunjin and Changbin decided to venture back to the rover to fetch supplies, too wary to leave them out in the open. Leaned against the armchair, Seungmin was first to fall asleep after Jeongin. Minho and Jisung had found solace in each other's presence near the hearth, where the dancing flames bathed their sleeping forms in a subtle glow.

In the midst of it all, Chan had occupied a seat across from the man at the table. They were deep in hushed conversation, discussing matters out of earshot, but the sound of their voices mingling carried an odd sense of security with it.

You found your own sanctuary nestled discreetly in a corner beside Felix. Shielded by miscellaneous objects and shadows, the position rendered you just out of direct eyesight from the two engrossed in conversation at the table.

The firelight played upon the subtle arch of his nose, the gentle curve of his lips, the way his eyelashes cast delicate shadows on his cheeks. Your hand gravitated toward his, and he responded by entwining his fingers with your own.

"I'll stay up with you," you murmured softly, "wasn't planning on falling asleep tonight anyway."

Felix responded with a soft kiss to your temple before guiding you to lie down with him, finding a more comfortable position. He pulled you into his chest and you raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry, glancing to the others. But the freckled boy only grinned as he pulled you closer.

“Sleep,” he murmured softly.

Succumbing to the moment, you laid your head down against his chest, relishing in the comforting beat of his heart.

As his fingers began to trail across your back in soothing circles, you hesitantly draped an arm over his waist, too tired to care about what the others might think—what Hyunjin might think, when he returned to find you like this.

Your mind drifted as you tried to keep the exhaustion at bay.

You imagined waking up to a rooftop bathed in gentle sunlight. You pictured the soft glow of a lantern in a narrow alleyway, reflecting off of sad eyes that carried so much more when they looked to the moon.

The last coherent thing that crossed your mind was the confession you'd been holding back since the moment you'd spent with Felix in the rain.

You might have murmured his name as those three little words resurfaced in your thoughts, but the boundary between wakefulness and dreams blurred.

-

A sudden jolt snapped you back from the brink of sleep, leaving you momentarily disoriented.

Still wrapped in Felix's arms, you anticipated to find him awake when you lifted your head from his chest. However, the features that met your gaze were softened by the gentle embrace of sleep. As your eyes lingered on him, you hoped that he would be granted solace from the nightmares tonight.

You brushed a few strands of hair from his face before sitting up, settling into a watchful position. It couldn't be too much longer now until Hyunjin and Changbin returned.

The rover wasn't that far.

You blinked, trying to regain a hold on your surroundings. As your tired eyes struggled to focus, they fell upon Chan. He now sat leaning against the wall next to the door, a testament to his determination to wait for Hyunjin and Changbin. His eyes were closed, head resting back, chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm—likely never intending to succumb to sleep.

A subtle noise caught your attention across the room, where man stood at a small basin in the kitchen, washing the pot he'd used to brew Jeongin's tea. His back was turned to you, the slight limp in his step evident as he shifted on his feet.

Glancing around the cottage, you made note of the various items scattered about. An aged book sat on a small table next to the armchair. Beside it lay an ornate silver necklace, its chain interlaced with dried white flowers that you didn't recognize.

Across from you, a glimmer reflected off of a small chest on a bookshelf, as if it had been purposefully tucked away amongst the clutter.

Your heart skipped a beat as you focused on the lock—at the symbol engraved on it.

So hauntingly familiar..

You squinted.

And then, your heart plummeted. Right down to your stomach.

You were standing before you'd even willed your feet to move, fueled by sheer instinct as your hand found its way to the knife securely strapped to your waistband.

The blade gleamed as you pulled it out. Your footsteps fell light as a whisper on the wooden floor as you approached the man, tightening your grip on the knife's handle to give you some semblance of control.

His hands, still glistening with water, hovered in the air as he twisted his head to acknowledge your presence.

"Why,” you growled, “does that chest bear the symbol of—"

You stiffened as he turned around, wiping his hands on a thin towel. "Sit," he urged, nodding to one of the two chairs positioned around the table.

“No," you lifted the blade and pointed it directly at him, surprised at how steady it was given the tremor coursing through your body. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t—”

"You are correct," he cut you off, "that chest indeed bears the mark of your father's army. But it also carries the weight of my own history."

A chill slithered down your spine as you could physically feel the blood drain from your face. The room swayed around you as you staggered, clutching at the edge of the table to steady yourself.

Despite the shock that painted your expression, the man remained impassive. You stood frozen in place, muscles locked with fear, as he navigated the intimate confines of the cottage to retrieve the small chest from the shelf.

He cradled it in his hands before placing it on the table with deliberate care.

"Sit," he repeated, settling into the chair across from you.

“H-how," you stammered. Your eyes darted over your shoulder to Chan, at the heavy weapon across his lap. But before you could muster the words to call for him, the man spoke again.

“I suspected who you were the moment I saw you standing on my doorstep. Initially, I mistook you for a ghost," he shook his head, voice softening, "the resemblance you bear to her is unmistakable. But it wasn't until this very moment, with that knife in your hand, that I knew for sure."

Without a word, you lowered yourself into the chair across from him.

Pleased with your reaction, the man reached beneath his shirt to reveal a necklace with a dangling key. He used the key to unlock the chest, extracting a worn cloth from within.

The cloth was unraveled to reveal a blade. It was identical to your own in size and shape. Yet, despite the apparent resemblance, the engravings told a different story. Crimson red flowers adorned the handle of the knife in his hand, a stark contrast to the white blossoms etched into your mother’s.

“A lifetime ago," the man cleared his throat, drawing your attention away from the twin blades. "I was a commander in your father's army. But in truth, I was more than that. A confidant, an advisor, and dare I say, his friend. Your father was never entirely sound of mind, even in his youth, but power has a way of magnifying the cracks in one's sanity. ”

He swallowed thickly, as if the following words were difficult to articulate. "I cannot absolve myself either," he confessed, "in the pursuit of my own power and blind loyalty, I too committed unspeakable acts. I followed orders without question, turning a blind eye to the suffering we caused. I assisted your father in making the decisions that stain his hands—decisions that haunt me still.”

"Stop," you croaked. Your chest tightened as you grappled with a rising tide of nausea. And you questioned whether your legs would even hold you if you tried to stand. "How is it even possible that we found you.."

The ghost of a smile crossed his lips. "Fate, my dear, works in mysterious ways," he answered, "and it seems to have conspired to bring you here tonight, to hear my truth."

After a brief pause, he redirected the conversation. "Many years ago, there was a woman, a guide of sorts, known for leading those from the outer districts to District 9 in search of a better life.”

Hira. 

As best as you could, you veiled the flicker of recognition that sparked within you at her mention.

“Your mother was amongst those brought to District 9, to the palace. The moment your father laid eyes on her, he was consumed by a new kind of obsession. Within a week they were married. And the world, entranced by fear of his power, did not dare question it. He bound her to him—not out of love, but in the twisted grip of an obsession with her determination, her beauty, and her strength. Of course, there was also a dire urgency to ensure that his lineage persisted, rooted in the truth that only his bloodline could unlock the secrets of a hidden sanctum nestled deep within in District 2."

"Miroh," you whispered shakily.

He offered a solemn nod. “Your father saw your mother as a means to an end. He stripped away her dreams, her hopes, and caged her spirit. Yet, in the shadowed corridors of the palace, I came to understand her," a wistful smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "She was resilient, even in the face of cruelty. During the stolen moments we shared, she taught me about the outer districts and those we had oppressed. Through her, I learned not just about the struggles of these people, but about love, kindness, and hope.”

The sigh he let out carried the weight of a lifetime. The pain and the tenderness in his words echoed as you recognized that these were the most intimate details anyone had ever shared with you about your mother.

"Months later," he continued, "your mother entrusted me with a secret that would alter the course of our lives. I saw the fear in her eyes when she told me she that was pregnant—the fear that your father could pose a threat to the life growing within her. The following morning, duty dictated that I embark on a routine scouting mission in the outer districts. While I was there, my heart drove me to make a harrowing decision," he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. "I slit the throats of the guards who had accompanied me. I burned their bodies beyond recognition, and in doing so I faked my own death. I built this cottage and the plan was simple—return for your mother, liberate her from the clutches of your father so that she may raise her child in peace. However, a year elapsed before the circumstances permitted my return. When I finally slipped back into the heart of District 9, under the cloak of darkness, it was only to learn that she had.."

He trailed off, unable to utter the painful conclusion.

Your stomach churned with the deep, unresolved ache tied to the memories of your mother. At the thought of her existence being shrouded in some kind of tragic narrative, and the the crushing realization that you would never know the full truth of her journey because she was gone.

The man's eyes fell to the blade in front of him, fingers tracing the engravings as if seeking solace in their familiar touch. And you didn't even know if you could believe a single word he'd said, but you wondered if he was the one to have given your mother the counterpart.

“I loved her, your mother,” his voice broke. The words hung in the air—dense, and fractured, and he did not look up as he continued.

“I loved her deeply, but in our time spent together I never summoned the courage to tell her those words. I believe she knew it, I know she did, and yet, it haunts me still. It always will. More than anything.”

The sorrow and regret etched on his face told the story of a lifetime's worth of remorse. It was a familiar expression, the same torment you had seen in Felix's eyes countless times before.

You glanced to the freckled boy, his silhouette barely visible in the dying firelight.

And then, another realization struck you. With a tremor of uncertainty in your voice, you turned back to the man. “You and my mother..Did you ever..Is there any chance that you could be my..” the words faltered with the possibility of a truth too profound to fully grasp.

He brought a hand up, rubbing at his face. "I don't know," he shook his head, "your mother and I were together before I left, once. But there is no way to know for certain until you reach Miroh. If you cannot open the lock, if it is my blood that runs through your veins instead of his, then I have damned us all."

The man fixed you with an intense stare. "If he finds you before you reach Miroh,” he quieted his voice to a gravelly whisper, “if he finds you, if the rebellion fails, he will kill them all—“

"I am not afraid of him," you croaked.

"You should be," he warned, "You should be terrified of him. Because he will save that one," he nodded his chin in Felix's direction, "for last. He will draw it out because of the way you look at him. And he will savor it until the bitter end."

His eyes bore into yours, urging you to understand the gravity of his words. "If you love that boy, tell him. Even if you think you may love him, tell him. Before it is too late.”

It was then that you registered the hot tracks of tears on your cheeks.

You were going to be sick.

As the vivid, gut-wrenching image of Felix suffering at the hands of your father seared through your mind, you were going to be sick.

You pushed the chair back, stumbling to your feet.

Desperate to put physical space between yourself and the cruel fate that had been painted before you, you burst outside, gasping for air.

As you doubled over, clutching at your chest, the rhythmic echoes of footsteps reached your ears. There were tears streaming down your cheeks when you turned around to confront the man, ready to demand answers.

But it wasn't his figure that stepped into the dim light seeping from the door.

As Felix took a cautious step forward, the expression he wore told you he had heard everything. Including the very unsettling possibility that your blood might not be the key to Miroh—that the hope every single one of you had clung to might always have been nothing more than just a fragile, fragile illusion.

"What if my blood doesn’t work?” you choked out through tears as he closed the distance between you, the weight of his gaze holding you in place. 

"We don't know for sure yet, okay?”

"Felix," you pleaded his name like there was something he could do. As if he weren't just as helpless as you.

"I will not let anything happen to you," he whispered as his arms enveloped your trembling shoulders. "You're okay. We're okay,"

You shook your head, closing your eyes as Felix gently lifted your chin. "I will not let anyone hurt you," he vowed, traced the path of your tears with his thumbs.

But Felix could sense the panic tightening its grip on you, rendering your breaths shallow and uneven. The ache to alleviate your distress clawed at him. He would've done anything to make it stop. And so, in that vulnerable moment he summoned the courage to articulate the only thing he had left to offer.

“I love you,” he whispered, “I love you, princess. No matter what.”

Felix closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against yours. He reveled in the feeling of his own admission, and it was something even fear could not outweigh. 

You breathed him in.

You knew this would not last forever with him. Nothing ever does. And you wondered if you will ever be able to accept that, even when you no longer have a choice. 

But in that moment, Felix was there. You extended a hand, and he was warm. He was real, and he felt more like home than anything ever had.

You loved him too, and it was a feeling you did not dare let go.

Part 8 coming soon..

thank you so much for reading<33 if you would like to be added to the taglist please don't hesitate to let me know :)

taglist: @astralis-is-typing @skz-streamer @vixensss @yangracha @toplinelix @lixiesw1fe @slytherinatheart @hash2013 @skzswife @xosugardoll @sunnyhonie @skzcollision @hydroyaksha @l1xvanter @nimx9 @ilychee08

[baekhyunsbestie]

♡⸝⸝ sparks and vows (bbh series!) ⊹。°˖➴

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧♡₊˚ pics 1 2 ♡ song・₊✧♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧🥂

𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 pairing: soloist!baekhyun x unnamed female o/c (y/n) aka [✶] ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 content: 18+/MDNI. smut, romance, wedding!au, angst, fluff, exos and o/c's, pussy whipped baek, ex-playboy baek, ceo nepo baby reader, smut (tbh probs every chapter), language, scenes with alcohol +/or smoking throughout story, pretty tame tho tbh!!! ଘ(ᵕ˵ ૩ᵕ)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ baekhyun is down bad like real bad, reader lowkey being a lil punk, also ksoo cant read the room 😭 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 wc: 7.9k+ omg 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 a/n: omg so im going to start putting [✶] and just know that means (y/n) k? k :') as always lmk ur thoughts!! <3 hehe mwah

s&v | mlist | prev | ★ ch.2 rendezvous ★ | next

it was that in-between time when night lingers in the air, yet morning remains a distant thought. [✶] lay fast asleep in baekhyun’s arms, their naked bodies intertwined, sheets tangled beneath them like the remnants of a dream. outside the window, the city lights flickered softly, a quiet backdrop to the intimate chaos within. baekhyun's room was evidence of their passion—a scatter of clothing across the floor, nightstands cluttered with the remnants of their shared moments, condom wrappers, and crumpled napkins bearing witness to the night’s intensity.

baekhyun watched her sleep, completely captivated by the gentle rhythm of her breathing, each rise and fall of her chest like a soft melody that tugged at something deep within him. she looked so serene, so devastatingly beautiful, and it sent his heart into a wild, unfamiliar rhythm. this wasn’t who he was—love had always seemed like a distraction, something that pulled focus from what truly mattered. for the last 15 years, his life had been dedicated to music, every beat of his heart, every ounce of his passion poured into his art. it was his everything—until now.

now, baekhyun held [✶] close, her body fitting against his like they’d been crafted for this moment, his arms wrapped around her with the kind of desperation that comes from realizing you’ve found something you didn’t even know you were missing. less than a day ago, she was just a stranger, someone whose name he didn’t even know. yet here she was, tangled in his arms as if she had always belonged there.

it wasn’t out of character for him to bring someone home after a night out—it was routine, a brief escape that ended with the sunrise and no strings attached, inevitably leaving a trail of frustrated women, disappointed by the imbalance between their hopes and his intentions. but this? holding [✶] long after the moon had set, thinking about her like she was more than just another fleeting moment? it shook him. the sharp, sweet ache in his chest made no sense. he had no room for this—no room for her. his life was full, overflowing with plans, projects, and the relentless pace of his career. he didn’t have the time or the ability to be the kind of partner she deserved. yet something inside him was urging him to try, to just see where this could go. and the thought of treating her like all the others—women who were here one night and gone the next—felt impossible. she was different, and he couldn’t imagine letting her slip away the same way.

a storm of emotions raged inside him, battling between running from the overwhelming intensity of it all or surrendering completely, losing himself in the feeling of her in his arms. the dawn was creeping closer, and with it, the inevitable confrontation of reality. what would he say when the first light touched her skin? how could he possibly put into words the confusion and intensity that gripped him?

‘so, [✶],’ he could imagine himself saying, half-joking, half-serious. ‘last night was unbelievable. and god–the sex? THE best i’ve ever had, hands down. but, uh… now i think i’m starting to feel something real, something genuine.’

but no, that couldn’t be right. he couldn’t possibly feel that way—not after just one night.

except, maybe that was exactly the whole fucking point. he’d only known [✶] for such a short time, yet she had already flipped his entire world upside down. and of course, he didn’t know her in the traditional sense—there were no shared experiences, no history between them. but somehow, he felt like he knew her. like her soul had been cut from the same fabric as his, and no matter how crazy it seemed, it just felt right.

as he navigates a whirlwind of emotions—excited by the possibility of a future together and grateful for the universe’s twist of fate—he’s also plagued by persistent doubts. the question, ‘what if it doesn’t work out?’ echoes relentlessly. amidst this emotional storm, one truth stands unwavering in his heart: he wants [✶].

he wants all of her—the good, the bad, and everything in between. for the first time in his life, baekhyun doesn’t feel the insistent urge to run away. that thought alone is both terrifying and freeing. with his arms still wrapped around her and her warmth grounding him in a way he’d never felt before, baekhyun’s eyes finally grow heavy. as sleep overtakes him, only one thought remains: ‘i want ✶’.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

as the morning sun filters through baekhyun's bedroom curtains, casting a soft glow over their still-entwined bodies, [✶] stirs awake. the weight of the previous night crashes down on her with an almost physical force.

the first thing she notices, with a wave of relief, is the absence of a pounding headache or any trace of a hangover. silently, she thanks the gods for sparing her the consequences of her indulgence. but as awareness creeps in, the feel of her bare skin against baekhyun’s sends a surge of insecurity through her. instinctively, she pulls the covers tighter around herself, though her head remains nestled on his chest, just as it was when she fell asleep.

his chest rises and falls beneath her, his slow, steady breaths a sign that he's still deep in slumber. she glances up through heavy-lidded eyes, a soft smile forming as she takes in his peaceful features—the defined bridge of his nose, the pout of his lips, the few scattered freckles that dot his face. his slightly tousled hair falls gently over his forehead, enhancing his impossibly breathtaking appearance.

as her body fully awakens, the remnants of last night’s passion make themselves known, a dull ache settling in her thighs and core—a reminder of just how unforgettable the night had been.

oh, last night was pure magic.

from the very first moment, an undeniable spark ignited between them—a fusion of laughter and playful banter that effortlessly drew them closer with each shared joke. the attraction was magnetic, their energies blending in a way that felt almost fated. by the time they made it back to baekhyun’s place, a deeper intimacy had already begun to unravel as they stripped away layers of themselves, exposing vulnerabilities and desires. every movement between them was fluid, like a perfectly choreographed dance, each touch and caress in sync, flowing seamlessly. when their lips finally met, it was breathless, electric, as if every kiss was proof of the chemistry they couldn’t deny. there was no awkwardness or hesitation—just a quiet, unspoken understanding that made everything feel effortless and right.

despite the magic of the night and the waves of pleasure baekhyun had given [✶], she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that she was just another conquest. another notch on his belt.

she had been fully aware of the boundaries she was crossing when she let things go as far as they did. but now, lying there in the dim morning light, she couldn’t shake the nagging doubt. was it the ache of loneliness, stretching back months before her breakup, that had driven her into baekhyun’s bed? the realization made her feel small and pitiable. this was supposed to be what she wanted—just a night of fleeting pleasure. she’d never intended for anything more, had she?

baekhyun’s reputation wasn’t a mystery. she knew his story, his resistance to commitment. hana had given her all the warnings. so why did she feel this sense of disappointment creeping in? did she really think he’d change for her? the thought twisted like a knife in her chest, leaving her feeling small and foolish.

the more she dwelled on it, the worse it got. her mind spiraled, and what had started as a gnawing insecurity quickly turned into a suffocating weight pressing down on her. each breath felt harder than the last. the comfort she’d found with baekhyun now felt like a cage she desperately needed to break free from.

with delicate, almost trembling grace, she gently disentangles herself from baekhyun’s hold, slipping out of his bed as silently as a shadow slipping through the night. she dresses with deliberate care, each movement slow as though she fears shattering the fragile peace. her heart feels heavy, weighed down by a whirlwind of unspoken fears and doubts.

she pauses for a moment, casting one last, lingering glance at the man she’s leaving behind, her chest tightening with the unvoiced turmoil inside her. then, she quietly turns toward the door, each step a soft whisper of the internal struggle pulling her away from the comfort she craves.

“where are you going?” his voice is soft but laced with urgency, cutting through the silence as [✶] freezes at the front door of his apartment, her hand on the doorknob. she turns, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of him. baekhyun stands in the doorway of his bedroom, the morning light spilling through the curtains, casting a warm glow on his skin. his usually confident demeanor is nowhere to be found—his lips are trembling ever so slightly, betraying a fear he’s never known before. 

but this time is different. this time, the thought of her leaving without even saying goodbye has shaken him in ways he wasn’t prepared for.

“i... i just thought i should go,” she mumbles, avoiding his gaze. it feels safer that way, to not see the way he looks at her, like he cares—like this is more than just another fleeting moment for him. because if she looks, she might start believing it. and she can't afford to be that naive.

baekhyun takes a step closer, his expression growing more concerned. “w-why?” his voice is quieter now, softer, as if he's afraid of scaring her away completely. “did i...do something wrong?”

the question nearly shatters her. no, he didn’t do anything wrong. he did everything right. maybe too right. it was her who was messed up. her thoughts swirl, and the doubts she had managed to suppress crash back down on her, heavier than before.

not only is he saying all the right things, it definitely doesn’t help that he looks absolutely unreal. his toned abs are visible beneath the loosely held sheet around his waist—not overly muscular, but defined just enough to show the faint lines of his effort. his hair, still messy from the night before, frames his face with an effortless charm. strands fall messily across his forehead, his undercut now more visible, revealing the sharp contrast between the tousled top and the freshly shaved sides. 

“i just... don’t want to complicate things,” [✶] whispers, her throat tightening. “we both know this wasn’t meant to be anything serious.”

baekhyun’s jaw clenches, his expression hardening for a brief moment, but it softens again almost immediately. “who said that?”

his words catch her off guard. she looks up at him, finally, her brows furrowing as she tries to gauge the sincerity in his eyes. “you don’t have to say that. we both know what this is. you don’t have to pretend.”

his dark eyes search for hers, filled with a sense of longing and desperation that makes her heart skip. the way he’s looking at her isn’t just lust or satisfaction from a night well spent. no, it’s more. it’s something real, something vulnerable.

“[✶],” he steps closer, and for the first time, there's a sense of urgency in his voice, “i’m not pretending. i don’t know what this is, but i know it’s not nothing. i didn’t–i don’t want you to leave.”

her heart stumbles at his admission. she wasn’t expecting that. she was expecting indifference, a casual goodbye, maybe even relief on his part. but instead, she finds herself facing a man who seems genuinely rattled by the thought of her walking out of his life.

“why?” she blurts out before she can stop herself. the question is raw, tinged with the vulnerability she’s tried so hard to hide. “why would you care if i leave? i’m just another girl to you, right?”

his eyes darken with frustration, and before she can retreat any further, he closes the distance between them. “no. you’re not just another girl.” his voice is firm, with an edge of desperation. “if you were, i wouldn’t be standing here right now, trying to figure out why you’re running away. i wouldn't have tried so fucking hard all night to get you to agree to go on an actual date with me.”

she swallows hard, her mind racing. this wasn’t the baekhyun she had expected—the one standing before her now felt different, almost… vulnerable. it threw her off balance, disarming in a way that left her both intrigued and unsettled. this glimpse of him, raw and open, scared her more than she wanted to admit.

“you don’t know what you’re saying,” she mutters, turning her face away, her voice barely above a whisper. “you don’t know what you want.”

baekhyun’s hand reaches out, gently grasping her wrist, not to restrain her, but to ground her. “maybe i don’t,” he admits, his tone softer now. “but i know i want to find out. with you.”

his words land like a punch to the gut, stirring something deep inside her, something she’s trying so hard to bury. it would be so easy to believe him, to let herself hope. but her insecurities scream louder than the quiet sincerity in his voice.

“i’m scared,” she finally admits, the truth spilling out before she can stop it. “i don’t want to be just another one of your conquests.”

baekhyun’s grip on her wrist tightens just a fraction, as if silently reassuring her. “and you’re not. look, i don’t know what i’m doing either. i admit, when it comes to my love life, i’ve been a mess for a long time. but last night... it wasn’t just fun for me. like i said, i didn’t want it to end, and i’m not ready for it to end yet.”

her heart races, battling against her fear, her doubts. she wants to believe him. god, she wants to so badly. but the weight of her past, of her insecurities, makes it so hard to trust, to let herself fall.

she whispers, her voice trembling. “why does it feel like i’m setting myself up to get hurt?”

baekhyun exhales slowly, stepping even closer, so close she can feel the warmth of his skin, the sincerity radiating off him. "because i’ve been that guy before,” he says, his voice low and regretful. “i know what you’ve heard about me, and i know it makes me look untrustworthy. but i’m trying to be different. i want to be different. for you.”

her breath catches, and for a moment, she doesn’t know what to say. she’s standing at a crossroads, one where she can either run from this potential or take a leap into the unknown, into the terrifying, fragile possibility that baekhyun might actually mean what he says.

“just stay,” he pleads, his eyes searching hers. “we don’t have to figure it all out right now. just... stay. at least let me make you a coffee.”

and in that moment, she realizes she’s not the only one who's afraid. he’s scared too—scared of losing something real, something that might be worth the risk.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

“thanks for meeting me so early,” hana says, her voice light yet tinged with a hint of mischief as she glances at [✶]. she raises her glass, savoring a generous sip of her mimosa, the citrus tang lingering on her lips. “i hope you’re not too hungover from last night.”

after the events of the previous evening—and everything that followed—hana had insisted on brunch. [✶] had reluctantly agreed, though she had wished to stay wrapped up in baekhyun’s arms a little longer. she stayed for coffee, at least, and during that brief pause, they had talked. they agreed to take things slow, letting the pace be hers. it was new for both of them, but they decided they’d figure it out together.

still, she wasn’t fully convinced. as baekhyun spoke, opening up in a way she hadn’t expected, there was a nagging voice in the back of her mind, reminding her of all the reasons she should be cautious. part of her wanted to believe him—his sincerity did seem genuine.

then, before she could overthink further, another voice—softer, almost hopeful—urged her to agree. give him a chance, just this once.

so then she nodded in agreement, the words tumbling out of her mouth almost reflexively. 'yeah, okay. sure. we’ll take it slow. let’s see where this goes.' the second she said it, she felt the weight lift slightly, though her heart still carried the lingering burden of doubt.

as soon as their conversation came to a close, [✶] had barely managed to get through half of her cup before baekhyun swept her up, carrying her bridal-style back to his bedroom to pick up where they left off the night before.

baekhyun had been between [✶]'s legs when hana called. she forwarded the call to voicemail the first couple of times, her focus lost in the heat of baekhyun’s mouth. the third call, baekhyun paused long enough to nudge her to answer. “it might be important,” he murmured, his lips still brushing her skin. breathless, she agreed, assuming he’d give her a moment of peace to handle it.

just seconds into the call, baekhyun dove back in, his lips finding their place between [✶]'s thighs once again. her back arched in response, a hand flying to her mouth to stifle the moan that nearly escaped. his quiet chuckle vibrated against her, making her toes curl. he was tormenting her and he was relishing every second of it.

hana had asked to meet for brunch later that morning, and despite the overwhelming distraction, [✶] couldn’t bring herself to say no. hana would immediately sense something was off if she refused, and [✶] wasn’t ready to explain what—or rather, who—was keeping her busy. with a steadying breath, she agreed to brunch, trying to sound as casual as possible, all while baekhyun continued his irresistible teasing beneath the sheets.

before she could even say goodbye, baekhyun snatched her phone, powered it off, and tossed it lightly across the room and out of her reach.

she shot him a disbelieving look, her mouth hanging open in shock. “baek, did you seriously just throw my phone?”

“don’t worry, babe,” he murmured, his lips brushing gently against her thighs, punctuated by playful nibbles. “if it’s broken, i’ll just get you a new one.” he said it with such effortless ease, his tone carrying an unspoken promise—he wasn’t done with her just yet.

she released a shaky breath, her body trembling from the waves of pleasure surging through her. the sight alone was almost enough to push her over the edge—his plush, pink lips enveloping her completely, his relentless tongue expertly circling her most sensitive spot. the dark, intense look in his eyes never left hers, watching her fall apart beneath his touch, turning her into a helpless mess. he was being so mean.

“why do i get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me, byun baekhyun?”

a wicked, self-satisfied grin twisted his lips at the desperate, broken whine that bubbled up from her. god, that sound was like pure, addictive nectar to him—he couldn’t get enough. his touch was merciless, each stroke and caress a calculated torment meant to make her squirm and beg. her thighs clamped down on his head, nearly crushing him, and he thrived on the way she writhed with pleasure. he was consumed by an unholy hunger to hear every gasping whimper and frenzied moan she made. nothing was too extreme, no act too cruel, just to keep her trembling and on the edge of madness. he’d happily lose himself entirely—drown in her juices—if it meant he could keep hearing those sweet, desperate sounds that drove him wild. to him, her pleasure was an intoxicating obsession, and he’d do anything to keep those sounds coming.

in his haze, the thought of returning to his old playboy ways was utterly inconceivable. how could he go back to such meaningless encounters now that he had experienced the depth of having [✶] beneath him, that he had tasted her so intimately? the fleeting pleasures of his past life were nothing compared to the all-consuming need he felt for her. the idea of being with anyone else, of indulging in any other woman’s touch, was abhorrent to him. he needed her and only her, every day, every night, for the rest of his days. the sheer thought of anything else was a betrayal of the dark, obsessive desire that now consumed him.

now, sitting in the bustling restaurant, surrounded by the sounds of clinking glasses and lively chatter, the air warm and fresh as they chose a spot outside, [✶] tried to ground herself in the present. the late morning sun bathed the two friends in a gentle glow, the rays caressing their skin with a comforting warmth.

[✶] smiled, mirroring her best friend as she took a slow sip of her drink. “well, when my best friend calls, i answer.”

she cleared her throat, trying to push away the vivid memory of baekhyun’s touch while she answered that very call, her pulse quickening momentarily. the contrast between the intimate, fevered haze of the morning and the casual brunch setting was stark, and [✶] struggled to keep her composure as she engaged in light conversation with hana.

hana's lips curled into a smile at [✶]'s remark, but that smile slowly fell once her gaze drifted lower. her eyes locked onto something just above [✶]'s collarbone—a faint mark, barely concealed under the edge of her cardigan, but unmistakably there.

"um, what the hell is that?!" hana’s voice practically squealed with excitement as she pointed at the mark, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

[✶] froze, her face a mask of horror. they hadn't even been sitting at the table for five minutes, and hana had already spotted it. her mind scrambled for an excuse, but she came up empty-handed. before she could even react, hana’s eyes widened in delight. "oh, you dirty whore! i knew you went to baekhyun’s last night! is that why you kept declining my calls this morning?!"

“hey, weren’t you the one telling me to have fun?” [✶] retorted, her hand instinctively flying to cover the mark, her sudden insecurity evident as hana’s gaze bore into her with playful intensity.

desperate to divert the attention away from herself—and the telltale mark on her neck that her best friend’s keen eyes had already noticed—[✶] blurted out, "anyway, what’s up? i’m shocked kyungsoo’s not too busy basking in 'betrothed bliss' to let you out of his sight." her words came out in a rush, the playful jab at her friend laced with a hint of anxiety as she tried to steer the conversation away from the previous night’s events.

hana narrowed her eyes playfully, giving her best friend a knowing look that promised a full interrogation about baekhyun later. with the tension between them dissolving, she relaxed back into her seat, a soft smile playing on her lips. "well, if you must know, i do have a little surprise for you."

she then reached down and brought out a stunning bouquet of flowers, the delicate pinks and whites of peonies and carnations mingling with the airy softness of baby’s breath. the arrangement was breathtaking, each bloom carefully selected to create a harmonious blend of color and fragrance. as [✶] took the bouquet, the sweet scent of the flowers filled the air, wrapping her in a comforting embrace. but it wasn’t just the flowers that caught her attention.

as [✶]'s eyes drifted down, she noticed the newspaper wrapping the bouquet—a charming and personal touch. on it was a nostalgic picture of the two of them as children, arms wrapped around each other, their smiles wide and full of innocent joy. above the image, a headline in bold letters asked, ‘will you be my maid of honor?’

tears welled up in [✶]'s eyes, her heart swelling with happiness at the heartfelt proposal. she looked directly across the table at hana, her voice choked with emotion. “oh my god, hana, of course i’ll be your maid of honor!”

the two rise from their seats, the excitement in the air nearly palpable. as they step into each other's embrace, the hug is tight and full of unspoken emotions—love, pride, and the overwhelming joy of this moment. [✶] feels her chest swell with happiness for her best friend, the kind that makes her eyes glisten with unshed tears. this is a moment she'll cherish forever.

as they settle back down, [✶] takes hana's hand, her grip firm and reassuring. "i promise you, i'm going to make this wedding everything you've ever dreamed of," she says, her voice filled with determination and warmth. "you know i'm the best when it comes to planning and parties," [✶] brags with a playful smirk. "you won't even have to lift a finger. you can count on me."

hana grins and winks at her, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "duh, that's why i picked you for the job. did you think it was because of the 20+ years of history we have with each other?" she joked causing [✶] to roll her eyes.

“but anyways, now that we’ve got all of that out of the way,” hana says with a sly grin, finishing off the last sip of her mimosa. the waiter arrives just in time to refill her glass, but hana barely acknowledges him, her focus entirely on [✶]. she leans in, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “spill. about baekhyun, i mean. i want every single detail, especially the juicy ones. this is a first for us, after all.”

it’s true. [✶] has never had anything this juicy to share before—how could she, when there was only ever one person she’s been with? this whole experience is as new to [✶] as it is to hana.

hana’s eyes gleam with pride and excitement for her best friend. it was always hana who had the wild stories of one-night stands and steamy affairs—until kyungsoo came along and changed that, of course. but now, it’s [✶]’s turn, and hana couldn’t be happier to see her best friend finally stepping into the spotlight, embracing a side of life she had never explored before.

as [✶] captivates her best friend with the events of the previous night, her voice is a mix of excitement and raw emotion. she starts with the first kiss, describing it as a moment suspended in time—the spark that affirmed that there truly was something between her and baekhyun. she talks about their conversations, rich and engaging, where they uncovered just how much they had in common. their chemistry was evident in every shared laugh and glance.

the conversation takes a more heated turn as [✶] details what happened in baekhyun’s bedroom. her eyes flutter with a mix of excitement and lingering nervousness as she recounts the intensity of their encounter—an experience that surpassed anything she’d ever known.

her cheeks warm with the flush of several mimosas as she describes waking in the soft morning light, her heart pounding with a blend of fear and exhilaration. she had almost left without a word, but then she had seen the hurt in baekhyun’s eyes—a look that pierced through her and left her trembling. [✶] recounts the heartfelt things baekhyun had told her, his affirmations that he wanted her to stay. though his words were beautiful and convincing, she couldn’t shake the fear weighing on her heart. his promises seemed so simple, but she hardly knew him, and his reputation with women only added to her doubts.

“i know we agreed to take things at my pace and see where this goes,” [✶] gushes to hana, her voice tinged with frustration and uncertainty. “but i can’t help feeling scared. he said all the right things, hana,” she continues, her eyes searching for reassurance. “he made everything sound so… simple. but with what i know about his past with women, i’m just not sure if i should fully trust him yet.. or ever.”

hana listens intently, her gaze reflecting a blend of empathy and understanding. she can’t help but draw parallels between [✶]’s current turmoil and her own past experiences. she recognizes the familiar echoes of her own journey with kyungsoo in [✶]’s struggle. 

she reflects on the early days of her relationship with kyungsoo, remembering how he grappled with insecurities about her popularity and past. the relationship had been rocky at times, but they weathered the storm and built a foundation of trust that led them to where they are now—engaged and committed. 

hana finds herself empathizing with baekhyun’s situation as well, sensing a genuine depth in his feelings for [✶]. the shock of discovering that he might actually have developed real emotions for [✶] resonates with hana’s own experiences. she understands the challenge of overcoming past impressions and the difficulty of navigating new emotions in a relationship. the parallels between [✶]’s predicament and her own journey with kyungsoo feel strikingly similar.

hana reaches across the table, her smile soft and comforting. “i understand, [✶]. trusting someone when there’s so much uncertainty is never easy. but sometimes, the only way to truly get to know someone is to take a leap of faith. and as much as it surprises me to say this about byun baekhyun of all people, who knows? it might actually work out between you two. he seems genuine. besides, he wouldn’t risk playing with your feelings, especially knowing you’re my best friend. baekhyun might not always come across as a gentleman with women, but he does have his principles.”

“yeah,” [✶] replies, her voice tinged with exhaustion and a touch of resignation. “OR i could just ghost him and skip all this potential heartache. save myself from getting hurt.” she shrugs, trying to sound casual, but her eyes reveal the deeper unease she’s feeling. 

unknowingly, [✶]'s reaction mirrors the very hesitance she perceives in baekhyun. 

“that option seems like the safest bet. besides, i probably won’t see him again until the wedding, so there’s plenty of time and distance to figure things out.”

as [✶] continues to pour out her feelings, hana’s attention is drawn to the two men approaching their table. her heart skips a beat as she recognizes them, bracing for what could be an awkward encounter. she tries to catch [✶]’s attention, hoping to steer the conversation away, but her friend, lost in a haze of inebriated candor, remains blissfully unaware.

“i mean, who knows, maybe he’s probably already forgotten all about—”

a smooth, confident voice interrupts [✶]’s ramble. “fancy seeing you two here,” one of the men says, his tone dripping with amusement.

kyungsoo strides over to his fiancée with a warm, affectionate smile. leaning down, he presses a gentle kiss to hana’s lips. as he pulls back, his gaze shifts to [✶]. “you remember baekhyun from the party last night, right?”

[✶] turns to face the towering figure behind her, her eyes widening in surprise. her heart races as she meets baekhyun’s gaze, his expression a mixture of charm and intrigue. the blush rising on her cheeks and neck could easily be attributed to the alcohol, but deep down, she knows it’s more than that. it feels as though her breath has momentarily escaped her, caught in the magnetic pull of baekhyun’s presence.

“uhhh… yeah,” [✶] murmurs, her voice barely a whisper, eyes widening in a mix of surprise and embarrassment. “hi, baekhyun.”

[✶]’s hands tremble slightly as she tries to compose herself, her voice wavering. baekhyun, on the other hand, stands effortlessly, his relaxed posture and easy smile showing no sign of the tension [✶] is feeling.

“hi there, [✶]. long time no see.” baekhyun’s eyes twinkle with amusement as he casually greets her, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. his demeanor only heightens [✶]’s sense of unease, making her feel even more out of place.

‘why is he here? why does he look so fucking good? and why the hell is he acting like he wasn’t just eating me out like his very life depended on it just an hour ago?’ the questions race through [✶]’s mind, her anxiety evident in the way her heart pounds and her thoughts scatter.

the two men slide their chairs into place beside them, the scrape of wood against the floor sounding louder than usual in the tense atmosphere. hana’s gaze locks onto kyungsoo with a palpable blend of frustration and disbelief. her eyes, usually warm and inviting, are now sharp and pleading, as if trying to send a silent message through sheer willpower. her jaw is set tightly, the muscles working under her skin as she silently implores him to understand that this is absolutely not the moment for an interruption.

as expected, kyungsoo remained blissfully unaware of the charged atmosphere between the two women in front of him. he was the type of man who missed the subtle undercurrents of energy and instead focused on concrete, verbal exchanges.

“soo, you didn’t mention you were having breakfast with baekhyun this morning?” she asked, her voice laced with barely concealed irritation, teeth clenched as she spoke.

kyungsoo, oblivious to the simmering tension, responded nonchalantly, “oh, well, i checked your location and saw you were here. we just finished eating at the tap house not too far down the street. baekhyun parked nearby here, so i thought i’d walk him to his car since you’re here anyway.”

hana and [✶] exchanged frantic glances, their eyes wide with unspoken panic. they silently hoped that the two men would take the hint and leave, but their casual intrusion and self-assured demeanor suggested otherwise.

kyungsoo leaned back, a casual grin tugging at his lips. “and then we saw through the window that [✶] was with you,” he continued, eyes twinkling with mischief. “and since baekhyun here seemed so smitten with her at the party, he thought he’d swing by to say hi.”

baekhyun shot him an incredulous look, eyebrows shooting up as if he couldn’t believe his best friend just threw him under the bus. with a soft chuckle, he accepted that kyungsoo had no concept of subtlety. “yeah, something like that,” baekhyun laughed, settling more comfortably into his chair. 

his hand slipped beneath the table, settling on [✶]’s thigh with a comforting warmth. he gently caressed her skin, his thumb brushing up and down in soothing strokes, occasionally squeezing her knee like it was second nature. each subtle movement edged higher, his fingers grazing the sensitive spot between her legs—a place he had intimately explored in the early hours of the morning.

she bit down on her lip, desperately trying to focus on anything but the subtle movements of his hand beneath the table. there was no way she could look at him—seeing baekhyun again so soon had her heart pounding out of control. her skin already tingled with warmth, and she knew that if their eyes met while he touched her, she’d completely fall apart. she couldn’t let her best friends catch on just yet to how dangerously head over heels she was for him.

“oh, by the way,” kyungsoo interjected, like a light bulb suddenly twent on in his brain. he turned to hana, his face lighting up with a blend of excitement. the words that followed his mouth, left [✶] in a state of utter shock. “i had asked baekhyun to be my best man just now, and he agreed.”

“oh..did he?” hana asked, her voice laced with disbelief. “i thought you were planning to ask your brother to be your best man?”

kyungsoo shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “nah, it makes more sense for baekhyun to be my best man. he’s more reliable.” he gave a meaningful nod towards his best friend.

hana’s eyes wandered over to [✶], who was sitting across the table with a mix of surprise and discomfort etched on her face. “i just asked [✶] to be my maid of honor, too, and she said yes,” hana confessed, a hint of guilt in her voice.

kyungsoo’s eyes softened as he looked across the table at baekhyun and [✶]. “this is perfect! and you two hit it off so well last night, too. i’m so glad.” his gaze then shifted to his fiancée, who was glaring at him with an intensity that could burn through steel.

baekhyun glanced at the time, his expression tightening. “well, i should get going. i'm running late for a meeting with my manager.” he gave her knee a final, lingering squeeze before rising from his seat, the chair sliding back with a soft scrape.

before heading out, he turned to [✶] with a warm, his fingers grazed her shoulder, sending a shiver through her. “guess we’ll be seeing each other more often, [✶],” he said with a wink, a toothy smile curving up into the familiar crescent moons that made her heart flutter. if she’d been uncertain about her feelings before, the gentle brush of his hand and that teasing smile left her even more confused.

as baekhyun bid the couple and [✶] a warm goodbye, his departure was marked by a casual wave and a charming smile. the soft chime of the restaurant doorbell signaled his exit, the door closing behind him with a gentle swoosh. hana’s gaze followed him until he was out of sight, her fingers lightly tapping kyungsoo's arm in a gesture that was both exasperated and affectionate.

“what the hell, kyungsoo?! can’t you take a hint?” hana’s voice was a mix of frustration and disbelief, her eyes flashing with irritation.

kyungsoo winced, the sting of hana’s playful yet sharp slap making him flinch. he rubbed his arm with a wince, his brow furrowing in confusion. “what do you mean? aren’t you happy that our best friends are playing such important roles in our wedding?”

hana’s reaction was to scoff, shaking her head as though in disbelief at her fiancé’s lack of understanding. “i’ll explain when i get home later,” she said, her tone carrying a weight of finality.

[✶], who had been silent and seemingly lost in thought, finally spoke up. her voice was thin and quivering, as if she were struggling to find the right words. "i’m going to head into the office, actually.” she said, her throat feeling dry. "i have a lot to prepare for the charity event this upcoming weekend.” 

as she packed up her bag with a hurried efficiency, her movements were sharp and deliberate. she tossed a generous amount of cash onto the table, covering their bill with a decisive flick of her wrist. “i’ll text you when i get home, hana, yeah? i’ll see you both later, bye.”

before hana could even muster a response, [✶] was already making her way to the exit, her steps quick and determined. the restaurant's warm ambiance seemed to dim as she left, her sudden departure leaving a palpable void. hana and kyungsoo were left in stunned silence, their expressions a blend of concern and confusion as they watched [✶] storm out, her figure disappearing into the busy street.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

as [✶] slides into the driver’s seat of her car, she feels the cool leather against her skin. the soft hum of the engine, which she usually finds comforting, now seems to mock her inner turmoil. she's slumped into the seat, her back pressing against the headrest, her breath hitching as she silently berates herself. “why did this have to happen now?” she muttered to herself, her voice trembling with the intensity of her emotions. “why did baekhyun have to show up like that? and why did kyungsoo have to be so fucking oblivious?” she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, trying to make sense of her jumbled thoughts and emotions.

a tap on her windshield startles her, and as she looks up, she catches the glint of a familiar face through the sunlight. it’s baekhyun, his presence as unexpected as it is electrifying.

“talking to yourself now?” his voice, smooth and teasing, floats through the air, just as the soft knock on the glass fades.

[✶] mentally shakes herself, a whirlwind of thoughts crashing together. 'get your shit together', she thinks while drawing in a deep breath. the whir of the window motor is the only sound that punctuates the brief silence as she rolls it down.

baekhyun’s face appears, framed by the soft light of day, and his smile is a blend of mischief and warmth. his eyes sparkle with a flirtatious glint, the kind that makes her pulse quicken and her thoughts scatter.

“hi again,” he murmurs, leaning into the window with a playful, teasing tone. his lower lip caught between his teeth, he meets her gaze, then lets his eyes trail down to her lips before returning to hers. the proximity of his body, his breath brushing against hers, sends a shiver racing down her spine.

caught off guard, she fights to regain control of her swirling thoughts. but as the sunlight bathes him in a golden hue, the moment pulls her in, stealing her hesitation.

“hi,” [✶] replies, her voice soft but brimming with warmth.

baekhyun’s gaze softens as he reaches out, the back of his fingers grazing her cheek with a feather-light touch. he gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his touch electric and tender. “wow. you’re even prettier in the daylight,” he murmurs, his voice low and sincere. “didn’t know that was possible.”

the compliment wraps around [✶] like a cozy blanket, stoking a fire of confidence within her. she lifts her chin slightly, a playful smirk dancing on her lips. “i could say the same about you, baekhyun,” she responds, her voice taking on a flirtatious edge as she lets her smile widen.

the playful exchange lingers in the air, a shared moment of magnetic attraction, as they stand on the precipice of something exhilarating and unknown.

"hmph.” his voice rumbles softly, eyes looking at her with longing as if he was looking at something he couldn't quite have.

“sorry,” he murmurs, his tone a mix of concern and something she couldn’t quite place. “i didn’t mean to interrupt your little monologue just now. i just saw you practically sprinting to your car as i was about to pull off and wanted to make sure you were okay.”

as he speaks, his hand moves with a gentle, deliberate slowness, fingers brushing against the side of her face. his touch is warm, his thumb grazing the delicate curve of her chin. the contact sends a spark through her, turning her into putty. his thumb lingers, tracing the line of her jaw, and she can’t help but lean into his touch, her breath hitching as the tension between them crackles like electricity in the air.

"thanks for checking on me,” [✶] sighs, her voice barely above a whisper as she fidgets with the hem of her shirt. her eyes dart nervously to the side, avoiding baekhyun’s intense gaze. “but i’m okay, really—i just wasn’t expecting to see you so soon after… you know—”

“oh—right!” baekhyun says with a snaps his fingers. his eyes light up with sudden realization, his expression shifting to one of playful mischief. “what was it you were saying earlier? something about how you thought the next time you'll see me is at their wedding? and that it would leave plenty of time and distance between us? is that right?”

[✶]’s heart drops, and her eyes widen in shock as she feels her stomach twist with embarrassment. she can barely believe her ears. her mouth goes dry, and her voice falters. “heh. oh, so you… you heard that?”

baekhyun nods, his hand resting dramatically over his chest as if wounded. “wow. i can’t believe the only girl who has me in a complete chokehold was planning to ghost me.” his tone is light, teasing, but there’s an underlying note of sincerity that makes [✶]’s cheeks flush. “welp, i’m glad i caught you, then. cause now i can tell you that you’re going to have to try harder to get rid of me.” he says lightly pinching her cheek.

she feels exposed, her earlier confidence crumbling under his playful yet piercing gaze. the memory of her conversation with hana floods back, and she mentally kicks herself for being so careless. but as much as she wants to sink into the floor and disappear, there’s something about the way baekhyun looks at her—like she’s the only person in the world that matters in that moment—that makes her chest tighten with something other than dread.

"welllllll," [✶] drags out the word, her voice laced with a playful drawl, "it was really nice chatting, baekhyun, but i really have to get going. i have a lot to plan for this annual charity event coming up this weekend, and—"

she’s immediately cut off as baekhyun’s expression shifts, realization dawning on him like a flash of lightning. the pieces fall into place with a sudden clarity that makes him silently curse himself for not figuring it out sooner. how could he have missed this?

"wait—" he interrupts, astonishment coloring his voice, "the humanitarian gala at the lee hotel this saturday? i just signed on to perform there. i'm actually meeting with my manager soon to go over the details."

[✶]’s eyes narrow, her thoughts racing back to the chaotic conversation she had with her assistant yesterday morning, just before kyungsoo and hana’s engagement party. the memory is a blur of stress and frantic planning, and she can almost feel the looming headache from the mess that’s undoubtedly waiting for her in her inbox. the thought of the endless list of tasks she needs to tackle—one so long it could rival a cvs receipt—makes her shoulders sag with exhaustion.

"hmm," she muses aloud, her tone thoughtful but distant, "i did tell my assistant that she needed to find us someone else since one of our other performers had to back out." she sighs, a sound heavy with resignation, wanting to wrap up this conversation so she can retreat to the relative sanctuary of her office and start putting out fires.

“wow, so i’m your second choice? you’re really breaking my heart today.” his tone once again dramatic.

[✶] rolled her eyes, barely able to suppress the grin threatening to break free. his dramatic antics, always over-the-top and laced with flair, were just so… him. the way he puffed out his chest and cast exaggerated glances her way was almost comical. a subtle smirk tugged at the corner of her lips, betraying her amusement even as she tried to keep a straight face.

'you weren't even a choice to begin with, baekhyun,' she thought to herself, the idea nearly making her chuckle aloud. but she quickly bit her tongue, knowing full well that voicing it would only encourage him more. she could already imagine his endless banter, the way he'd latch onto her words and turn them into an ongoing inside joke. and as much as she adored that mischievous glint in his eye, she wasn't quite ready to deal with the inevitable playful teasing that would follow.

so, instead, she simply shook her head, her smirk widening as she watched him. "well then, i guess i'll see you on saturday, baekhyun," she quips, her tone light yet laced with playful sarcasm. "can’t wait to see what all those fangirls of yours are drooling over. who knows? maybe i'll become one of them."

her words hang in the air, a teasing challenge that sends a shiver down baekhyun’s spine. he feels a rush of electricity as the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, the intensity of her gaze lingering even as she reaches for the car window.

with a slow, deliberate motion, the window closes, creating a tangible barrier between them. but instead of diminishing the tension, the thin sheet of glass only amplifies it, making the charged atmosphere between them almost palpable. baekhyun watches as her car pulls away, his heart beating just a little faster, hands beginning to sweat, knowing that saturday’s performance will be different with her eyes on him.

s&v | mlist | prev | ★ ch.2 rendezvous ★ | next

[penvisions]

zest {chapter 1}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Professor! Reader (formally known as Bartender! Reader)

Summary: Changes are sudden, lifestyles are altered, and important questions bubble up but through it all, you have Joel by your side.

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: canon typical language, c'mon reader and joel have potty mouths, age gap (joel is mid 40’s / reader is late 20’s -early 30’s, protective joel, reader is canonically midsize, pregnant reader, surprise pregnancy, reader goes through nicotine withdrawal, smoking, cigarettes, nicotine use, lots of feelings, lots of emotions, complicated family dynamic, reader has family issues, death of a loved one, mention of life-threatening cancer, reader has religious guilt, restaurant lingo, triggers associated with the food industry, reader canonically has an eating disorder, mentions of therapy, references to time apart from each other, adult content, smut, piv, unprotected piv be safe y'all!), talk of marriage, adult conversations, joel and reader are down bad for each other.

REMINDER: this is a sequel series, the previous series can be found here {garnish}

A/N: THEY'RE BACK, BABY! ♡♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || masterlist || ko-fi

It’s the perfect spring day: sun shining in a warm but not hot brightness, a gentle breeze rustling the trees as you zip past them, an iced coffee, and the singing figure of Ellie in the passenger seat all make the first half of the day melt away. The amber of your sunglasses allows for everything to be swathed in the honeyed hue and you smile to yourself as you recall a rather heated comment from Joel ‘that every goddamn show feels so creative ‘n artsy when they slap the same tones over Mexico’ and then a softer set of words as he had cuddled closer to you on the couch ‘it’s not really like that, I’ve been there, darlin’, trust me’.

“What’re you all gooey lookin’ for, Sabrosa?” Ellie pauses to catch her breath between songs from the newest pop punk album from a band you first enjoyed in your teenage years. Unable to resist the temptation of adding it to your already laden down basket at the bookstore last week when you and the young girl had ditched Joel to run errands. “Ew, gross, don’t think about my dad while I’m sitting right next to you.”

“Oh hush,” You stuck your tongue out at her. Getting a kick out of how casually she sounded. It hadn’t ever been awkward between you two, or her and Sarah despite the six or so years between your birthdays. But then again, Sarah had let you into the secret of the older guy she had started seeing in her graduate program the last time she had been in town visiting… “It’s nothing dirty, just one of his many rants about my choice in television.”

“Lemme guess….oh! The washed-out way they show Mexico, huh? Cause you were watching…oh fuck, what’s that show called…”

“Breaking Bad.” Was the supplied answer from your lips as you turned on the turn signal and began to slow down to turn into the parking lot for the restaurant. It wasn’t operating hours quite yet, too early yet for the dinner crowd Joel preferred to cater to. But Ellie had a shift, and you were dropping her off after classes. She wasn’t in either of the ones you teach, having completed the two semester course you had started off with. But you both had a class that ended around the same time, living so close to the university, she liked being able to walk but then catch a ride with you. Tradition, the word rang in your head. Routine, followed it and you smiled wider at the way your life had fleshed out.

“That’s the one!” She exclaimed as she unbuckled the seatbelt and leaned back in her chair. “Man, I really don’t have the energy for work today, but the old man said we have a full reservation list and then open seating at the bar.”

“Gonna be that way for a while, the article about him came out only two months ago. Everyone’s clamoring for a chance to try the ‘bursting flavors’ and ‘exciting combinations’ of the renowned Chef Joel Miller.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s hot shit right now, at least the restaurant is.” Reaching for her coffee in an imitation of you, she sipped at the whip cream, caramel whatever it is she had gotten. Coffee wasn’t her favorite, so she always got the espresso taken out, a glorified milkshake Joel had teased her once. “Proud of him, though. The restaurant was in shambles when he bought it from the previous owners, some shitty Italian place that never cleaned anything.”

“He’s done good.” You quietly agree, sipping from your own overly complicated drink. That was another tradition of yours and hers, to make your way through the menu at the coffee shops on campus, always pausing to get the special of the month. Joel claimed he didn’t understand the need for so much stuff mixed in with coffee, but you caught him stealing sips of yours if he were to come across it unattended around the house or when you were out and about with him and treated yourself.

“There’s my girls.” Joel chimes as you input your code into the gate for the employee parking and round the side of the building. His voice filtering in through the open windows as you pull into a spot and cut the engine. He’s leaned against the back of the building, cigarette in hand. “Was wondering what took you so long.”

“Accident on the main road, had to detour.” You appease as he approaches to open the door for you and pressed a greeting kiss to your cheek as you roll up the windows. He does the same for Ellie as she sidles up beside him for a side hug before trotting off to the door and disappearing through it. He let’s you pluck the lit cigarette from his fingers as you shoulder your bag and close the door. His hand goes around your waist to walk alongside you toward the building.

“As long as you two are safe, that’s all that matters. Today’s special is spaghetti all nerano, wanna do some grading here and try a plate?” He takes the smoking roll back from your offered hand and takes the last drag before tossing it into the pale beside the door. Opening it and leading you through it with a hand hovering over your lower back.

“That sounds yummy, I’m starving.” You toss him a smile over your shoulder before greeting everyone with a wave.

It’s well into the third hour of service and you never got the chance to leave once the doors opened. The bar had been struggling, Millie having taken over as manager and Mary trying to appease the picky impatient customers who all want a taste of the raved over menu and a glimpse at the alluring Chef Miller.

Picking up a shaker and twisting a bottle of vodka in your grip, you glance at the ticket that just printed and adjust the amount you free pour into it. Mary had been looked so guilty as she approached you’re the table where you do your work on a regular basis, the question of if you were willing to help out getting drinks started for those waiting on tables barely out of her mouth before you were nodding and cleaning up your stuff. It was now safely tucked away in the office and you were moving at a fast pace behind the bar to keep up with everything. Millie stepped down to let you take the reigns, knowing she would only get in your way. Ellie could be seen picking up and dropping off glasses at the well as often as Millie as she acted as barback.

The restaurant was buzzing, excited conversation and pleasant atmosphere making you remember the tingling high of getting off from a busy shift with a wad of cash tucked into your pocket. Just as you place a strainer over the shaker and begin to pour the contents over six shot glasses the door to the kitchen swings open and Joel walks through. You’re too busy, so you shift the chilled shots to the mat over the well and place the corresponding tickets beside them. Moving onto the next drink, you rinse out the shaker with the star sink in place.

His eyes catch yours through the crowd of people when you look up as Ellie comes up to take the shots and then watching as she delivers them, the sound of the shaker loud in your ear as you hold it over your head. His steps don’t falter as he approaches the table, he was delivering the plate to, but you could see something flash over his face. He’s back behind the door as you move to lodge the shaker open.

The night goes by quickly, taking orders for those lucky enough to snag a spot at the bar but hadn’t been able to make a reservation. Shoving each cash tip into a pint glass for the girls and even taking a few business cards from people interested in hosting parties in the space. You’ll be sure to pass those along to Mary, even if some of them requested you as the bartender. You didn’t mind, missing the atmosphere and good moments you had experienced in the setting. Ellie is taking back the remaining dishes from the last few tables, Millie is out back smoking after helping to clean up the bar top when Joel ambles from the kitchen once again.

He's got his chef’s coat unbuttoned and loose around the shirt underneath, the glint of his belt buckle catching the fairy lights around the bar. His steel curls are slicked back, but you could see the frizz and fluffiness where they rested over the back of his neck. He had been saying he needed a haircut, but you had made a sound in the back of your throat that made him put it off.

His eyes are trained on you as you move the trash cans full of empty bottles to line up beside the drink pick up area. You’re about to return behind the bar with a wink thrown over your shoulder when he snakes his hands around your waist and pulls you to him. He smells amazing, the perfect mix of savory spices, smoke, and Joel.

“Playin’ restaurant, huh? Thought you went home and passed out.” He leans down to kiss your jawline.

“Nah, Mary asked for my help when Millie got swamped.” You breath out, hands coming up to rest on his chest and push should he get a little too enthusiastic in you still being here.

“Not your responsibility.” His eyes hold no real heat or command, you know it’s born from a place of worry, of not wanting you to stretch yourself too thin.

“It’s okay, baby. I don’t mind.” You cradle his cheek in one hand and play with the collar of his open coat with the other. His eyes glance down, the glitter from your lotion catching the light on your neck and chest.

“Hmm, you looked good. Dress looks good on you, shakin’ those drinks and-“

“Dad, holy crap, it was so busy tonight. Some dude tipped me like fifty percent because he was trying to impress his date!” Ellie plops down on a stool with her server’s book. She doesn’t even look up from where she begins to go over the receipts. “Wait until everyone leaves to start doing that or better yet, wait until you’re home to do that.”

“One day you’re gonna meet someone and it’s gonna be hard to keep your hands to yourself.” You only giggle at the typical parent response from Joel. Ellie wasn’t a touchy-feely person, but you were sure she would be with the right person, you’d seen her flirty interactions with girls while out with you and your friends, tagging along for the free drinks and to have safe company. She was pretty smooth if she didn’t get into her head too much, soft touches to shoulders and waists, though she steadfastly refused to dance. With anyone, no matter the setting.

“Gross,” She begins to fill out the printed shift report before organizing the receipts in order and then asks you for the stapler. Detangling yourself from the man, you do make it back behind the bar. That’s when she notices the pint glass. “Holy shit! You made all that?”

“Huh? Oh, no. The restaurant did. Here.” You hand the wad of bills over to Joel. With your own shift report and stapled receipts. He uses two nimble fingers to extract the shift report but leaves the cash in your hand. Frowning, you track the report as it’s tucked into his back pocket along with Ellie’s. Her own cash tips secure in her booklet.

“Also gonna see about getting some of the petty cash from the safe for the hours you worked.” He begins to take the full bags from the trash cans, tying the ends together tight.

“Joel.”

“You worked, you get paid.” He doesn’t look up as he reaches into the bottom for the rolls sitting inside and begins to place new ones over the lips of the plastic.

“I’m your girlfriend. Who used to work here. I was just helping out.”

“Nope, not gonna fly, darlin’. It’s yours.” He slides the empties cans back around the bar for you to put back in their designated places.

“If you don’t want it, I’ll take it.” Ellie reaches for it and you let her swipe it from your hand. Only for Joel to set her with a look. “Oooor not.” She says as she puts it down atop the clean bar top.

“Joel!”

“Can’t hear you, Sabrosa, gotta make sure the kitchen duties were done.”

“Seriously, I’ll take it if you don’t want it.” You quirk an eyebrow at the younger girl, but Millie bounces up and says everyone was going out for a bite at the taco truck parked a few blocks down. They have a spot in a lot that has picnic tables and offer late night service. Ellie takes off, ensuring you she’ll text either you or Joel when she’s back at the townhouse afterwards. She’d been staying the second bedroom there more and more, as you found yourself splitting your time pretty evenly between it and Joel’s. He would join you sometimes, but certain nights either you needed you own space or he did and that was okay.

Sighing, you lock the patron door behind her and turn the sign from open to closed.

As you’re double checking everything is shut down properly, you open the washer to let the last load of glasses air dry, the steam billowing out. Turning when you hear the swing of the kitchen door again, Joel has his chef’s coat tossed over his shoulder and his backpack over the other. His eyes zone in on the cash and then a smirk takes over his face. You turn your attention back to the washer and ensure it’s off before you round the bar top and makes sure it was swept underneath the stools. You’re about to ask him which car you were gonna take home when you spot a crumpled napkin you must’ve missed.

As you bend down to pick it up, you feel thick fingers sneak beneath the skirt of your dress. You don’t think anything of it until you feel Joel tuck a bill from the stack into the band of your panties. Knuckles grazing against your slit as he moves to the other hip and does the same. You shoot up, the napkin forgotten as you try to turn around.

“Nu-uh,” His palms come to rest on your lower back and shoulders, bending you over one of the stools as the heat of his body looms close. He whispers something about having to scrub the video cameras set up around the dining room before you hear the clink of his belt being undone and feel him move your panties to the side. You throb at the feel of the cooler air circulating around the room, a gasp leaving your lips as he gently runs the head of his cock over your folds, arousal from you both making it such a smooth motion.

As he reaches over your back for something, he fills you up, the stretch of his girth feeling like a reward for the hectic shift completed. But you know the night would’ve ended like this either way.

A moan rips from your chest as he grabs a hold of whatever he had been trying to get, hips flush with yours. He chuckles, pleased with himself before his hands sneak around to cup your breasts as they threaten to spill out from your dress at the prone position. His fingers tuck more bills into your underwear, beneath the straps over your shoulders, into the already full cups to peak out over the swell of your chest. He even tucks one into the mess of your hair thrown up into a clip at the back of your head before his hands secure around your waist and he begins to thrust.

That’s the last memory you have of both smoking and drinking, only a few days before you had anxiously waited for a piece of plastic to tell you your fate. It was now a month since finding out, Joel making sure to go with you to get confirming bloodwork and a full physical. The headaches from missing both finally having abated. Joel on the other hand, he was sneaking cigarettes, you could smell the lingering smoke on him when would come home and you were still up. It didn’t really bother you, knowing he indulged for far longer than you had in the bad habit. But you missed the social aspect of the act, of seeking out the designated spots around campus and chatting, of sitting out on the back patio with Tommy as he enjoyed one on the evenings he stopped by with his own little family for dinner.

But it was all worth it, you mused as you poured yourself a cup of steaming water into what was once your coffee mug. Tea was something you indulged in now, the cupboard filled with the different types you were trying to work your way through to see what would help with the onslaught of nausea and also appealed to your tastebuds. You preferred the fruity ones, just like you did with your cocktails, hence the nickname Ellie had graced you with that stuck.

Jingling keys and heavy footsteps signaled you to Joel’s return, the sun still shining on the calm afternoon. He had been gone when you showed up at his house, a cookout planned for the day. Tommy and Maria had been here an hour, the grill just about ready for the first of many things to be cooked and the pool was sparkling as it awaited the arrival of Sarah and Ellie. You had spent the morning cleaning it of debris and adding a few treatment drops. The whole family getting together. It was good, it was a good feeling being surrounded by them all. You and Maria hitting it off even more over the news of what was to come. Her own child now nearing two, she had given birth while you and Joel were split. But you had sent a care package and visited her in the hospital with her favorite takeout.

It was so domestic, so full a life…it made you wonder why you hadn’t been able to experience it as a child yourself.

“Missed ya, darlin’.” Joel steps up behind you and embraces you. Kissing your temple, you feel the frown mar his lips as you don’t respond. “Everythin’ alright?”

“Yeah,” You mumble, turning in his hold and wrapping your arms around his chest. He smells like cinnamon and the grill brick he used while closing up the restaurant after a brunch shift and you breathe him in as you press your face into his broad chest.

“Gotta shower, wanna join me?’

“The girls will be here soon.” You hold him tighter, missing your own family even if it had never been the same as his own. Dinner once a month with your own father, no visits offered or initiated, grandparents raising you since you were young. A mother who had passed early due to complications from cancer she hadn’t known she had until she was pregnant with you herself. “Wanna make sure everything is ready for them.”

He peppers kisses into your hair before pulling away and disappearing upstairs.

The afternoon continues, the smell of grilling meat and roasting vegetables lilting into the air alongside ruckus laughter and bad jokes. Everyone is comfortable around the patio and the in the pool, food served and consumed. Just a few bites left of everything, Joel ensuring you that he would heed your cravings and what you felt like you could stomach, not worried about leftovers lately.

“So when do we get to meet the rest of the Sabrosa clan?” Tommy askes around the lip of his beer bottle. He’s across from you at the table, Joel off by the grill as he messes with something he hadn’t let you sneak a peak at.

“Oh, um…you don’t?” Caught off guard, the bite of food falls from your plastic fork frozen halfway to your mouth.

“No siblings or nothin?”

“Um, well-“ Clearing your throat you take the bite and chew it contemplatively. Honesty or the thinly veiled truth? Your mind is working hard, something Maria must hear in her seat beside you at the patio table. She shoots Tommy a look you catch out of the corner of your eye, trying to keep calm so the child in dozing in her arms doesn’t stir. “I’ve got two half-siblings, but we don’t keep in contact much.”

“They gonna be at the wedding?”

“What wedding?” “Oh my god, dad! You proposed and didn’t tell us!” Ellie and Sarah holler from where they’re in the pool, one of them resting on a floating device and the other is practicing her laps to get more comfortable in the water. Joel turns from where he was ensuring the grill was off and brings over the s’mores dip he had just let melt to perfection. Your stomach rumbles at the sight of the gooey swirl of marshmallow and dark chocolate, of the rye biscuits he must’ve whipped up at work steaming beside it in a single use tin. Set up with a divider in the middle.

“Haven’t proposed to ‘er yet, quit it.” He sits it down atop a trivet, but no one makes a move to reach for it until he gives the go ahead. But he doesn’t until he’s got one of the dark biscuits covered in the dip and set in front of you. Then it was fair game as the girls begin to swim across the length of the pool, or well Sarah tries to glide her floaty across while Ellie does. Tommy readies one for Maria before making his own, quirking an eyebrow at you as he watches the pull of the dip.

“But your dad is gonna walk you down the aisle, right?” Tommy presses on, not catching onto the awkward way you were shifting in your seat or how you had placed your fork down to rest on the edge of your paper plate. The dessert untouched. But you don’t get to think of an answer before one is flying from your emotionless face.

“Can’t, he’s dead.”

Silence falls over the once happy and jovial backyard, the splash of Sarah slipping from her floating longue echoing.

“Tommy.” Joel’s voice is firm as he pins his brother with a mild glare. Maria is equally unpleased with her husband’s penchant for talking without thinking, not reading the room. He yelps as she kicks his shin underneath the table.

“It’s okay, wasn’t much of a father when he was alive anyway.” You reach for the mocktail you had made a pitcher of for you and the girls to enjoy. No one says anything as you pour yourself another and take a sip from it. Not liking the tension that had crept into the atmosphere, you gather up your nearly empty plate and stack it atop Maria’s to take inside, making more room for the messy dessert. Slinking away, you feel Maria reach out a hand to trail down your arm, comforting you before you’re gone back into the house.

“You dumbfuck.” Ellie mutters under her breath, earning a glare from Joel over his shoulder for her language. But he doesn’t disagree. You do, but it wasn’t his fault. How was Tommy supposed to know he had picked the one subject you had nothing good to say about?

“Shit, I- holy shit.” Tommy’s voice follows you before he yelps a second time as Joel brandishes the still warm tongs from serving biscuits.  

“Way to shove your foot in your mouth, we were havin’ a good time.”

“I didn’t know! I thought she was just quiet about her family not that she didn’t have any.”

“Tommy, you’re the father of my child and my husband but you are seriously so stupid sometimes.”

“Dad, she-she doesn’t have any family?” Sarah is tearing up, affected by the sudden realization of why you never brought anyone around except for a friend every once in a while. She could understand not having a mother, as her own was so distant, only showing up when she needed something or felt lonely in the life she created for herself. But to not have a dad? That was all she knew and she couldn’t fathom how her life would have been without him in it;.

“She’s got us, baby girl.” Joel goes to run a hand over her shoulder and press a kiss to the fluff of her kinky curls as she stands beside the pool set into the ground outside the patio. He wraps the towel she brought out around her and rubs it across her shoulders before lifting his hands. “We’re her family, pretty good deal, huh?”

“Dad….”

“She’ll be okay, I promise.”

The laid back vibe from the afternoon returns once everyone piles into the living room to watch the season finale of an admittedly awful reality tv show. But everyone was hooked and harmless bets were made on who would cause the most drama and how things would end. You’re a little subdued, but you make comments along with everyone else and laugh at the absurdity of what happens on the screen.

Stepping out of the bath you had decided to soak in, you startle when you see Joel sat on the small bench in the master bathroom across from the vanity as you pull back the shower curtain. He’s already changed into his sleep pants, his freckled and bronzed chest on display through the steam.

“Darlin’, why didn’t you tell me your dad was passed?”

“Because it doesn’t matter.” You stand in front of him, taking in the way he watches you through the mirror as you press a bead of toothpaste onto your toothbrush and wet it before popping it into your mouth. A heavy silence fills the room, tangling with the rose scented steam from the bubble bar you had used. The pink water swirling down the sink a near silent hum.

“It-uh, kinda does. Makes me feel…like a whole wedding would be…”

“You don’t have to ask me. We don’t have to get married if it’s going to be a problem.” Shoving down the worries and residual guilt of being raised in a certain religious culture at the thought of having a child out of wedlock, having a child as a single woman you catch the man’s gaze through the mirror. The burn of embarrassment simmers beneath your skin, shame for feeling such embarrassment sparkling behind it, creating a swirl of emotions you hadn’t wanted to feel this close to bed with an early class. You want to marry him, to experience that with him, to live life together as husband and wife, but it feels perfunctory when you didn’t even believe in the reasoning behind why you felt that way. He’s frowning, his brows knit close together, something off in the depths of his brown eyes.

“It’s not a problem…right?” You see the worry flickering through him, in the way his eyes shift and the way he clenches his fists in his lap. “I just…you know you’re a part of the Millers. Have been since the moment you caught my attention, but baby…I don’t want you to feel lonely if it’s my family and your friends.”

“Are you insinuating because I don’t have a family of my own, I’m somehow missing something?” Anger flared hot and sticky in you, washing out the embarrassment. The heat from your bath making it so much worse and you cross the room to pull the door open. Back at the vanity, you ignore his gaze and rinse out your mouth before moving on to clean and moisturize your face. He’s quiet behind you, knowing he phrased his sentiment wrong and this…this communication was new for you both. Still hard sometimes as you both realize how deep some things run and how different you could be.

“You know I’m not.” The gaze he has trained on you reminds you of the way he would watch you through the kitchen, tensions high as you both couldn’t seem to get your heads out of the dirt and just be honest with each other. A time that had passed, allowing for the present to bloom.

“Then a wedding wouldn’t be a problem. But it’s kind of moot, you haven’t proposed.” You don’t anticipate the slight edge to the words as they leave your lips, but they slice through the air. You feel shame overtake the waning anger, making your face hot underneath your massaging hands. The burn of tears threaten to ruin the routine you just completed and you hiccup as your hands flatten atop the vanity, head hanging between your shoulders. You do not like this, but you have no idea where it’s coming from. It really doesn’t bother you that he hasn’t asked. You know he has the intention to, the agreement of a visit to town hall and then a small party to celebrate. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy, simple.

“Hey,” He whispers as he comes up behind you, hands resting over the quick beating of your heart, his naked chest pressed to your back, the damp towel the only thing separating you. But you can feel his own heart between your shoulder blades, strong and sturdy. Grounding you in the way you had explained you preferred when overwhelmed. “I promise I wasn’t trying to upset you, just want you to be comfortable, to have everything you deserve.”

You let him help you to dry off the rest of your body, lotion lovingly applied to your body by his hands before you slip into a nightgown and slip between the sheets beside him. You kiss an apology to his lips, needing him to know that it was just initial panic and not the real way you thought or felt. He accepts it and offers one of his own, lips pressed to your chest, right over your heart before sleep takes ahold of you both.

“I said don’t.” You warned, no humor in your voice. You had tried and failed to put on every one of your pairs of pants, jeans, leggings, and none of them were comfortable. None of them zipped, buttoned, or stretched enough underneath the slight bump that had seemingly blossomed overnight. Joel was sprawled on the bed, working his way to getting up at the late hour. He had been at the restaurant late, later than usual as they had a party stay well after service hours. He had let the staff go on time, ensuring they would get the tip out but not wanting them to have to stay once all the cleaning and side work was done. One of the many things you adored about the man, his willingness to heed situations like that in favor of his staff even if he was gruff and to the point most of the day.

“Didn’t say nothin’, darlin’.” He rumbled from beneath the sheets, tan skin looking deliciously golden paired with the pale pink set you had insisted changing from the white that had previously been curled around the mattress. You had woken up with bad cramps last month, terrified something had happened as you pulled back the covers to find blood spotting the pristine fabric. A quick trip the emergency room as he shared in your panic, albeit in a more controlled way, assured you that spotting was normal during the early months of pregnancy.

“Dress...” You muttered to yourself, hand cradling around the small bump. Joel only hummed, stretching out to alleviate his sore body, thick legs appeared from beneath the fabric. Your eyes traced the long lines of his body through the mirror atop the dresser, drinking in the sight of him and your body began to thrum with arousal. When your eyes roved up the expanse of his broad chest dusted with dark hair to his face, he was smirking at you with an eyebrow arched in a silent question of how long you would ignore his deliberate departure from the bed.

You had all but jumped him when he got home last night, papers you were grading scattered all around you on the couch and coffee table, a Josh Gates show on the television for moral encouragement. He had teased you once about your affinity for the man but you had clapped back with his borderline obsession with Anthony Bourdain, to which he simply said ‘can’t help it darlin’, the man knew his shit’.

The dinner he had brought home had been tossed to the entry way table, as you knelt down to help remove him from his shoes and pants. Mouthing at the line of him through his boxer briefs before he could even get his keys hooked on the mirror over the table. He had been prepared to find you fast asleep, a different kind of tired taking hold of you more and more, almost demanding naps during the day when you got home from campus and right before dinner if you hadn’t worked. But you had sprung up from your spot and welcomed him home, the food forgotten in favor of getting your fill of the man that had been consuming your thoughts. The thought makes his cock fill, twitching underneath the sheets as he recalls your enthusiasm.

He sees the way your eyes dilate at the movement, the hush of his hand skimming down to grip himself.

Suddenly, you’re no longer debating over the clothing flowing from the draws inside the closet or those of the dresser. You peeled the pants you had been fruitlessly trying to zip up and nearly threw yourself at him. He greedily accepts your frantic kisses, starting from his shins and all the way up neck to finally connect with his own. He groans at the taste of coffee you had allowed yourself this morning, his own cup still steaming on the bedside table. His glasses beside it, his cellphone lighting up only to be ignored.

“Does mama need some attention?” He breathes into your open mouth, large palms caressing the exposed skin of your hips. His hands graze your middle, and you shy away from him, self-conscious of the extra jiggle, the stretchmarks from rapid weight fluctuation of your years now accommodating the swell of the beginning signs of the life you two had created together. “Hey, no, c’mere.”

You’re sure he sees the flicker of emotions across your face before you school it into a cool arch of your brow, the playful smirk of your lips. Falling back on bravado that wanes far too quickly these days as your hormones ping pong all over the place. You were just as apt to burst into silent tears as you were to jump him, confusing for you and devasting for him as he tries to read your moods as well as he can. He was hoping to dislodge the habit of you seeking refuge in the townhouse you had gifted Ellie, her own budding relationship prompting her to ask for her own space just as the new stage of your life became known to them. Equal parts of respect for the more tender and tense moments sure to happen and yearning for her own space again.

“Mama needs some new clothes, wanna spoil me?” Your voice is a confident hush, hands reaching forward to urge him to shift closer, both of you on your sides and facing each other.

“Do anythin’ for you, darlin’, you know that.” His teeth sunk into the curve of your neck, tugging you back to him. That seemed to get you to forget your insecurities as he felt you pull him closer, your smaller hands so soft on his chest as they caressed his skin.

“I think I wanna go to that fancy mall, maybe get some pretty underwear that won’t make me feel like a total loser.”

“I’ll take ya anywhere you want, maybe even that big shopping center in Dallas? It’ll be just like the trip we took to Arizona. Could get a hotel, see the sights and just relax. Hear they have a mac and cheese restaurant in the arts district.” He rolls to pin you down, and you move to allow him space between your legs instinctually. Body hovering over yours as he kisses down your neck, your chest, he lets his words sink in. The bralette you had put on doing nothing to hide the perk of your nipples. He laps at them through the thin fabric, delighting in the way it makes you arch up into him. You were so sensitive to his touch lately, your body on high alert as your hormones fluctuate erratically.

“That’s a lot, Joel. Shouldn’t we-“ Your hesitant words are cut off by a searing kiss, the press of his skin against yours making it hard to keep your train of thought.

“We should do what we want, darlin’. Wanna get everything sorted to go this weekend?”

Tears are suddenly pitter pattering over the sheets, darkening the fabric where they land after rolling down the sides of your face. He pushes his weight from where it pressed you to the bed, back on your sides and you let him, unable to stem the tears.

“Oh hey, hey it’s okay,” Joel crowds close, the thin fabric separating your bodies as you bury your face in his neck and curl your legs up, knees pressing into his stomach. Hiccups startle you both as you find it suddenly hard to breath through the onslaught of emotions spiking. “Hey now, darlin’, it’s alright.”

“I’m sorry,” You mumble into his skin, embarrassment flaring up hot in your cheeks and chest. You feel so silly, pulled in too many directions in so quick a succession. “I just…you’re so hot and I’m all bloated and my skin feels all tight and I really want some ice cream.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re happily spooning a sundae into your mouth with a red plastic spoon in the passenger seat of his truck. All the tears and frustration gone from you as you held tight to the treat in your hands with far too many flimsy napkins. He’s got a cigarette dangling from the hand he rests on the inside of the door, trying to keep as much smoke from wafting back into the cab as possible. Errands, today was an errand day and you smiled over at him. Pairs of sunglasses meeting, eyes hidden beneath them. He just leans over to press a kiss to your temple, not wanting to disrupt your enjoyment of the ice cream you literally cried over.

next chapter

taglist: @hiddenbabynyc @jessthebaker @clevergirl74 @anavatazes @samiamproductions @76bookworm76 @tuquoquebrute @sarap-77 @koshkaj-blog @corazondebeskar-reads @ozarkthedog @littlemisspascal @endlessthxxghts @its-nebuleuse @janaispunk @sawymredfox @cumberpegg @grandanchorkitten @noisynightmarepoetry

@regalwhovianbrowncoat774

@pazizz

[vioartemis]

The queen of hearts

(Emma Myers x fem! reader)

Summary: You, a well known actress, joined the cast for the second season of Wednesday. A well-executed magic trick and a questionable pick-up line later, you find yourself kissing one of your co-stars. Warnings: none (?) (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

As far as you could remember, you always wanted to be an actress. You starred in some adds on tv when you were 12, before auditioning for the role of C/n Henderson in the first season Stranger Things.

You were 14 when the series was released, and you didn't expect it to make you famous. But since then, you played in several movies such as Fear Street 1978 and 1666, or the last two Star Wars - for which you symbolized the new generation of the upcoming trilogy.

You favorite genre to play was fantasy. Sometimes you wished you were born in the 90's so you could have a chance to play in the Harry Potter movies.

Of course, you continued the 'Stranger Things Adventure', as you called it, all the way to season 5, which had yet to be filmed. You were proud to see that the series was on top of the most watched Netflix series.

But recently, the series rank was in danger due to the new series Wednesday. You resisted a whole month before binge watch it with Sadie. Since you met on the set of Stranger Things season 2, you were best friends.

"It's not like we're betraying anyone if we watch it, right? They can't fire us for that, right?"

"I don't think so, Noah and Mille watched it already and nothing happened. I think it's safe"

You put the pop-corn bowl between you on the couch before Sadie pressed play. Being a big fan of the Addams family, you were a little scared to watch it. But everyone seemed to say it was really good so... why not giving a try?

You liked it so far, Enid being your favorite character. You found her really cute, and her bubbly personality was a great contrast with Wednesday's cold self.

On TikTok and other social medias, you saw everyone simping for Wednesday, and honestly, it was understandable. But Enid. The wink.

You were full on gay panic. This wink, along with her smile, got you simping for her throughout the whole series.

"So, what do you think? I liked it" Sadie asked you when you finished watching

"It was great! Let's hope season 2 will come out soon!"

"So you can see who's the stalker? Or maybe more of a certain blonde?"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"As if you didn't spend the last hours simping for her" she teased you

"Who wouldn't? She's so adorable!"

After that, it didn't take long until you where googling who played her, and in what other movies she played. You watched all of them, from 2010 Crooked, to 2021 Girl in the basement.

You quickly became a Emma Myers fan, which meant you started following her on Instagram.

When she noticed it, she couldn't believe her eyes. The Y/n L/n, her favorite actress, knew who she was? If that wasn't a dream coming true...

One of her favorite genre of movies / series was fantasy. She watched almost every work of this category, which meant she saw multiple of your roles.

Her favorite one was your Star Wars character. It was the first time she saw you on screen. Since then, she had watched everything you played in. You had something that attracted her, something special that made her want to meet you.

Not just like every other celebrities she'd love to meet. It was something different, something she couldn't quite explain.

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

"Are you kidding me?? You're really part of the cast of Wednesday season 2?? That's awesome!"

"I know, that's crazy! But don't count on me to tell you anything"

"Come on, we're best friends, right? You can just tell me little things, no one will know..."

"Nope, sorry. I have to go, I'm in front of the studio"

"I hate you"

"Love you too bestie"

You smiled as you hung up, putting your phone in your jacket's pocket. You were excited to meet the cast and to know what happened next.

Totally nothing to do with a certain girl you were impatient to meet.

When you entered the studio, you were greeted by Jenna, whom you had already met at the auditions as she was producer of this new season.

"Y/n, hey. It's nice to have you here" she smiled

"The pleasure's mine"

She led you to where the others were, gathered a little further.

"Oh, before you meet everyone, Emma's a big fan of yours so don't be surprised if she's a little shy"

"Really?"

You couldn't help but smile. You were fan of each other. Interesting.

You walked up to the group, Jenna in front of you.

"I told you we would have a new addition to the cast, right? Well, here she is"

She stepped to the side to reveal you. You waved at them with a smile that got wider when you spotted Emma next to Hunter. You felt inexplicably drawn to her the moment your gaze met hers.

"Hi"

Like every other Saturday night since the beginning of the shooting, you were gathered at Georgie's for a little party. Apparently, it was a little tradition they had since season 1.

It was really fun to see some of you try to do your scenes the next morning when they drank a little too much. Not that the scenes were poorly acted, no, it was the behind-the-scenes face in a bucket that was the most fun.

You weren't one to drink much, so you never had the problem. But Hunter did quite a lot even though he doesn't drink a lot either.

This night however, you found yourself drinking more than you should, which doesn't go unnoticed by a certain brunette.

"Is everything okay?"

"Of course. What makes you think otherwise?"

"I don't know, maybe the empty bottle next to you? Or the other one in your hand? You can talk to me you know?"

You knew that, but the words got stuck in your throat every time. You were ashamed to admit it, but you were jealous. Jealous of Georgie and Emma's relation.

They were just friends, yes okay, but the way he looked at her made you think he wanted more than that. You couldn't blame him for that, being in the same situation.

What you blamed him for was... what was it again? Ah, yes. You had no reason to blame him. Emma and you were just friends too.

"It's... nothing really, just- just a bad day"

"You sure?"

She wasn't blind, she saw how you looked at Emma, how you acted around her. But what she saw too was how Emma looked at you. And that you didn't see.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm fine"

"Okay then..."

She didn't believe you, but let you alone, taking the bottle with her as a precaution.

A little while after, you were joined by Emma who sat next to you on the couch. You had sobered up by the time Jenna left.

"How you doing?" she asked gently

"Great, you?"

"Georgie tried to show me a magic trick, ended up with my shirt being stained with his drink..."

"You should change, or you'll get cold"

"Yeah, but I don't want to leave... Plus it's dark outside, I don't feel like going alone..."

"I can come with you if you want"

"Shit, I think I forgot my keys at Georgie's..." Emma mumbled, looking in every pocket she had while you were standing in front of her door

"We can go at mine if you want, you can borrow a dry shirt, we'll go back later for your keys"

"I don't know what I would do without you"

You missed the blush on her face as she said that, too busy taking your keys out of your pocket.

"Get a cold probably. Here, come with me"

You walked side by side, shoulders brushing every now and then, until you arrived. You opened the door and let her in, before heading to your closet to find something to give her.

Meanwhile, she looked around at your room. She had no idea what it would look like, but it really screamed you. And exactly like you, the room was to her liking.

She spotted a deck of cards on your bedside table.

"Do you play card games?"

"Uhh not really, I only know poker, and am very bad at it"

"Why do you have a deck of cards then?" she asked as you emerged from the closet

You gave her the shirt with a smile.

"Want me to show you some real magic trick?"

"Sure! I love magic tricks"

You grabbed the cards and sat on the floor on the other side of the room, giving her time and space to change.

"Oh oh okay, I have to pull out my best trick then"

You shuffled the cards as she sat in front of you.

"Here, take a card, look at it, and don't tell me anything"

She obeyed, looked at the card, and kept it in hand, waiting for your instructions.

"Okay, now I'm gonna make a pile of cards randomly, for example here I put like three cards, then six, then two, etc. You tell me to stop whenever you want"

You started to stack the cards, looking at her with a smile.

"Stop!"

"Okayy, now put your card on top"

She did as you told. You put the cards you had left on top of her card and took the deck in your hands before spreading the cards on the floor in a swift motion.

In the alignment of cards, one was face up. 3 of spades.

You took the card out, letting a hole in the line of cards.

"Is it your card?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but it's not"

"Oh really? Maybe it's a sign... 3 of spades, so maybe three cards before..."

You counted to three starting from where the card was, and pulled a new one out, showing it to her.

"Is this one your card?"

"Oh my- Yeah it is!"

You smiled widely, before turning the card to look at it.

"The queen of hearts huh? Funny when you're the queen of mine"

You didn't mean to say that. Absolutely not. You felt your face heat up.

"Shit I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

You stopped, noticing she was as red as you were.

"That sounded better in my head..." you finished, still embarrassed

"... Do you mean it?" she asked after a moment of silence

"Depends. What would you do if it was the case?"

"Well..." she got on all fours and got closer to you to the point her nose was almost brushing against yours "I think I would really want to kiss you..."

"Y-yeah?" your eyes flickered to her lips before going up to her oh so beautiful eyes "My heart is yours since day one, Emma”

A smile made its way up to her face as her cheeks reddened.

“Can I kiss you?” she whispered

You leaned forward as an answer, pressing a soft kiss on her lips. She was quick to cup your cheeks and sit on your lap as she kissed back, making you tilt you head up a bit.

As your hands found their place on her hips, pulling her closer to you, the soft kisses turned into a passionate make out session that left you both breathless.

After you pulled away, she rested her forehead on yours. You were both smiling like idiots in love - which you were, actually.

"If you had told me I'd get to kiss the Y/n L/n - and that she would be romantically interested in me - I never would've believed you"

"Well, if you had told me I'd get to kiss the Emma Myers and have a romantic relationship with her, I wouldn't have believed you either"

"You're such an idiot" she chuckled, cheeks reddening again

You couldn't help but smile and placed another kiss on her soft lips.

"True, but I'm your idiot now"

[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Two | •

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Fluff 💕Angst⚡️Crack💥

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: angst. hurt. swearing. mentions of alcohol. mentions of marijuana use. implied intoxicated han jisung. harsh/vulgar language. yn's friends (jokingly) plot Han's death (i.e. homicide, staged accidental death, death by carbon monoxide, death by chloroform, premeditated murder). the boys do not use honorifics. best friend skz.

I think that's it. If I missed any, lmk!!

Word Count: 5.4k

**this chapter is unchanged**

Enjoy!

Walking out of Jisungs room that night was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. Not only were you turning your back on your one shot with the man you’ve been in love with for years, silently breaking his and your heart in the process, but you also now had to face the reality of what the hell had just happened as you returned to the living room where your friends were.

It seemed the rest of the party stragglers had all gone home and it was just your friends left, all of them now helping clean. Changbin and Jeongin were collecting empty cans and bottles and storing them back into the original boxes for easier discarding, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Ash were sweeping and mopping the floors clean of dumped food and spilled drinks, and Chan and Jo were tackling the mass amounts of red cups that littered the room. Minho was most likely cleaning his kitchen domain, as he got pretty upset any time the kitchen turned into a mess.

Felix’s spider-senses must’ve been going off because he was at the bottom of the stairs as soon as you had appeared, staring up at you in concern. You had done your best to wipe the mascara off your face as you rushed from Jisung's room, but based on the look Felix had, you knew you hadn’t done the greatest job of hiding your sadness.

“Bunny, what’s wrong?” he asked not so quietly, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and turn to look your way. You felt heat rush to your cheeks and you tried to swallow back the lump that still sat idly in your throat. 

How the hell were you supposed to explain what had just happened when you were still processing the events that had taken place in the last thirty minutes or so?

“Nothing Felix. I’m just really tired. I think I’m going to call it a night.” You settled with a tiny white lie.

Felix looked at you unconvincingly, but you paid him no mind as your eyes went searching for Jo. As soon as your eyes found hers, you sent her a look she knew all too well from the years of friendship you two had shared; one that practically screamed ‘get me the hell out of here’.

Instantly, she dropped her bag of garbage and discarded a stack of red cups onto the coffee table.

“I’ll drive you home!” She said, feigning cheerfulness. She knew something was wrong but none of the guys needed to know that. They didn’t need to know anything until the wheels of your plane left the ground the following day.

Ash, being the ever-observant friend she was, set her broom and dustpan aside and skipped over to you almost as cheerfully.

“Ou, She-Racha car ride? Count me in!”

Together, Jo and Ash gathered their things and slipped on their shoes when Minho suddenly appeared through the kitchen doorway with a half-eaten pudding cup in his hands. He glanced at his fiancée and Jo, confused as to what was going on.

“Are we going somewhere?” His gaze then landed on you and his face softened once he got a good look at you. “Y/n what’s going on? Where’s Jisung?”

Before you could open your mouth and feed Minho the same lie you told Felix, Jisung's voice echoed off the walls as he whipped his bedroom door open and shouted loudly down the hallway.

“Y/n wait!”

Upon hearing the desperation and anger in Jisung's voice, everyone’s eyes went from you to the top of the stairs where they expected Jisung to appear. You immediately hurried to the door where Jo and Ash were waiting, turning back to address Minho as you grabbed your things.

“Minho, please, do not let him come after me.”

Minho gave you a worried and confused look, but nodded nonetheless, knowing exactly what it was you needed from him. You only ever called him by his full name if it was urgent, and he picked up on that quirk of yours quickly. Ever since he and Ash had gotten together he’d become a lot more in tune with female emotions, and even though Jisung was one of his best friends, he obeyed you without hesitation.

Jisung appeared at the top of the stairs then, his hair messy as if he’d been pulling at it, his eyes angry but still drenched in tears. He saw you and immediately began descending the staircase two at a time, desperate for one last attempt to get you to stay, but Minho was quick to block his path. Without needing an explanation, Chan and Changbin instinctively jumped in and went to help as Minho struggled against Jisung's flailing figure.

Together, the three men managed to stop Jisung from reaching the bottom of the stairs while the remaining four stayed rooted in place, looking as freaked out and bewildered as anyone else in their position would’ve been.

You barely spared anyone a second glance before following Jo and Ash out of the house, slamming the door behind you.

And that was the last time you saw Jisung.

Even now, with all seven of the boys alongside Jo and Ash gathered around you at the airport to bid you one last farewell, Jisung didn’t show. You had laid awake practically all night, replaying the entire fight over and over again in your brain. A small part of you hoped against hope that he would show up despite it all and say goodbye, but he didn’t. 

You knew he wouldn’t. Not after you walked out on him the way you had.

Chan was furious at Jisung’s absence. He was currently standing a little ways away from the group, his phone pressed to his ear as he angrily left yet another voice message on Jisung's answering machine. 

According to the boys, after you and the girls left abruptly last night, and after the three older men fought Jisung's advances off, Jisung returned to his room as if he were a bull seeing red. He had quickly packed a bag of essentials and, before anyone could stop him, he left the house, swearing and cursing his members into hell for helping you escape. 

No one had seen him since, and based on the several messages each member had left on Jisung's phone, urging him to get to the airport before you had to board your plane, they hadn’t heard from him either. Felix and Hyunjin were worried about his lack of response, but the others were just pissed off at his behavior. 

“I swear to God Ji, if you don’t get to the airport in the next thirty minutes, I will personally disown you as my first child and then I’ll kick your ass. Call me back when you get this.” you heard Chan growl into his cell.

Jo was standing with you, her arms wrapped around your waist while yours slung around her shoulder in a half hug, your head resting on hers. She was smiling and laughing with Ash and the boys, but you could tell by the tension in her body that she was also listening in on Chan. No one had ever seen him this upset before, and it was unsettling for all of you.

A moment later, Chan hung up his phone again and returned to the rest of the group, scratching the back of his head in annoyance as he shoved his phone into his pocket.

“Based on the look on your face, I’m assuming he’s not coming?” Jo asked as Chan pushed his way through the circle to resume his spot behind her. He shook his head angrily, opening his mouth to begin the irate rant you all knew was coming, but Seungmin beat him to the punch, trying his best to brighten the mood with his usual level of sarcasm.

“Incredible!” he shouted as he began clapping obnoxiously, bringing everyone's attention to him. “Detective Jo has once again solved the case! The evidence was beyond us and yet, she somehow figured it out! I’m in awe.” 

You watched in amusement as Jo's eyes squinted as she glared at Seungmin with a smile on her face.

“I will fuck you up, Puppy.” Jo threatened as she detached herself from your side and stepped into Chan's embrace once more. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head, the anger in his features dissipating quickly.

Seungmin crossed his arms over his chest and flashed Jo a menacing grin. He loved being the only one brave enough to challenge Chan’s rules. Jo was off limits, but it didn’t seem to stop Seungmin from his relentless flirting. It’s like he was fueled by mischief.

“Good luck reaching me from down there, Little Miss Four-Foot Nothing.” He bantered. Jo’s eyes closed impossibly more as she tried to fight off a smirk that sat at her mouth.

“I’m 5’4, asshole.”

“Yikes. That’s still higher than your IQ, Seung.” Minho piped in, joining in on the fun. He had his arm protectively wrapped around Ash’s shoulders, but when Seungmin moved to kick him in the shin, Minho slid behind her in an attempt to hide, laughing maniacally.  

“I can’t fucking stand either of you.” Seungmin hid his laugh behind an annoyed exhale.

“Then kneel, dumbass.”

“Then kneel, dumbass.”

Both Jo and Minho spoke at the same time, resulting in everyone breaking out into laughter as the two of them high-fived each other in approval.

The stress that seemed to hang in the air at Jisung's clear absence was slowly being washed away with each chuckle, and you found yourself feeling so incredibly grateful for your friends.

“Why are you guys so mean to me?” Seungmin then fake pouted. Jo reached her hand up and ruffled his fluffy hair, pushing it out of his eyes.

“Cause I’m that much closer to hell than you are, Seung.” She responded sweetly. Everyone let out another laugh at her comment while Seungmin ducked out of her reach and playfully elbowed her in the ribs.

Ever since everyone arrived at the airport merely an hour ago, minus Jisung, you felt like your heart was just minutes away from stopping. Anxiety clawed through your insides like a feral cat trapped in a cage. Whether it was because of the obvious missing presence or simply just pre-tour jitters, you weren’t sure, but you expected the uneasiness to sink its teeth into you any second now, forcing an anxiety attack from your body. 

Thankfully, being surrounded by your friends, laughing and joking as if all was well helped ease some of the tightness in your chest, though only little by little.

That was until Minho’s phone began to ring noisily from his pocket, causing the tension to return to you in full force.

“Fucking finally,” Minho whispered once he caught a glance at the screen.

Everyone fell silent, the stress once again clouding the air like smoke.

“Is that him?” Felix questioned, a hopeful look in his eyes. Minho ignored him and swiped his thumb across the screen before shoving his phone to his ear.

“Jisung, where the fuck are you?”

Jisung could practically taste the fury that rolled off of Minho's tongue and into his ear. It made his chest tighten slightly, but he took a deep breath and willed himself to relax.

“I’m sorry Min. I’m not coming.”

“What do you mean you’re not coming?”

“I mean I’m not coming.”

An irritated breath left Minho’s mouth.

“Fuck off Jisung. I don’t know what the hell happened between you and y/n last night, and at this point, I don’t really care, but you need to get your ass here, now. Y/n’s plane leaves in no less than two hours. Put in your fucking tampon and come say goodbye.” Minho growled.

Jisung let out a sigh as he glanced around the hotel room he was staying in. His laptop sat open on the bed beside him, his anime currently paused. He made a point not to acknowledge the empty soju bottles that decorated the tabletop, or the bag of marijuana that sat half-opened on the nightstand beside him.

Why did his friends, his family, have to make this so difficult for him? 

All he wanted to do was forget.

Forget you. Forget your name. Forget your face. 

He wanted to forget the way your lips felt against his, even for that brief but magical moment you two shared; the way you whimpered and melted into his touch seconds before you ripped his heart out and stomped it into the carpet of his bedroom. 

He wanted to forget all of it. The kiss you shared, the fight that ensued, the look you gave him before you slammed the front door and left.

He wanted to forget, but more than anything else, he hoped to God that when he’d wake up from his intoxicated sleep, he’d remember.

He wanted to remember the way you smiled in awe as you listened to the song he made for you, eyes full of tears as they fluttered closed as if you could feel the emotion and love he poured into each lyric. He wanted to remember the way your body automatically responded to him when he leaned in to kiss you, as if kissing him was as natural to you as breathing. He wanted to remember how absolutely beautiful you looked as you yelled at him with mascara-stained tears.

He wanted to remember it all and he wanted to forget it all.

Jisung took a second to chug back the soju from his shot glass, setting the empty soju bottle next to the others before he responded to Minho, trying to ignore the sting of his friend's words.

“I’m sorry Min.” was all he could say. 

There was a second of silence before Ash’s calm and collected voice suddenly came through the phone. 

“Jisung, what’s going on?” she asked, her voice soft. Jisung nearly started to cry just from how warm and concerned she sounded. She always had been like an older sister to him, and her serene and tender attitude hit him like a bucket of ice-cold water. He loved the boys so much, but listening to the dozens of harsh messages they’d left him when he didn’t show up at the airport hurt him more than he cared to admit.

“I’m sorry Ash. I can’t.” Jisung didn’t think he had any tears left in him, but his eyes began to water as if he hadn’t cried in years. “I love her too much. I can’t let her go.”

Ash let out a sigh as she stepped away from the group of eyes staring expectantly at her, trying to get some privacy when she realized Jisung was crying.

“Ji, I know what happened last night.” She reassured him with a whisper. “Y/n told me everything. And I know it’s hard saying goodbye, but I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I can’t just let her run off with another man.” he scoffed.

“Ji, you know nobody wants you two together more than we do. Chan stopped trying to set her up with other guys years ago because he knows now that you two were absolutely made for each other. We all know that. Just because she’s going on tour with Seojun doesn’t mean she isn’t going to come home to you in a year and a half. You’re the one she loves, not him. You just have to let her figure it out for herself. And she will. She’ll always come home to you.”

“I don’t think so, Ash. Not this time. I fucked up.”

Ash let out a sigh at his words, running a hand through her hair.

“Come and say goodbye and you’ll see that you haven’t.” she tried.

The other end of the line was silent for a moment and she swore she got through to him. Jisung carefully absorbed her words, and for a second, he hoped she was right. But that thought was washed away just as quickly when the image of you walking out the door without a single regret flashed through his brain, causing him to let out an unexpected sob.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung whispered, his voice defeated and tired. “I can’t. Please, please don’t be mad at me.”

Another sigh left Ash's mouth and Jisung braced himself for the words he knew would come next.

“I’m not mad at you Ji. I’m disappointed. Despite everything that happened, we’re still a family, and this isn’t how we treat our family.” 

Even though he expected her answer almost word for word, it still hurt to hear her say. Being mad at him was one thing, but being disappointed in him and his actions made his heart ache impossibly more. 

He spent so much time trying to make everyone around him proud of everything he did and hearing Ash say those words did nothing but knock him down a few dozen pegs on his scale of confidence.

He pushed away another round of tears and took a deep breath before responding to her. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not coming.” 

And that was final.

Ash sensed the certainty in his tone and let out yet another heavy sigh, the disappointment more evident now than before. As much as they respected each other and understood each other, she knew better than to try and sway his decisions. He was a stubborn man, and when his heart was set on something, it was nearly impossible to change his mind.

Oh, the irony.

“Okay, I’ll let the gang know,” she whispered.

“Thank you.” Jisung breathed a sigh of relief, thankful she gave in so easily. He hated fighting against her.

“Don’t thank me,” Ash spoke up again, her voice now firm and authoritative, just like a scolding mother. “You’re not out of the woods yet Jisung. Just because I’m saying ‘okay’ doesn’t mean I’m happy about this. You still have to face Jo whenever you decide to come home.”

He wasn’t planning on coming home any time soon, but he didn’t say it, lest he let her down even more than he already seemed to have.

“I’m sorry.” he choked out one last time.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

She was right, and he knew it, but he couldn’t bring himself to contact you. He wanted so badly to call you and say goodbye, to hear your voice one last time, but he knew it would only cause him more heartbreak if he did. Even though he swore to himself the day he met you that he would do absolutely anything for you, he couldn’t bring himself to do this.

Instead, he let Ash's words hang in the air for a few moments longer before another sob escaped his throat, causing him to say goodbye and hang up.

Ash shook her head and willed herself to breathe as the dial tone rang in her eardrums. 

“So?” Hyunjin prodded as she returned to the group. Everyone looked at her expectantly while she slid Minho’s phone back into the pocket of his jeans, but you already knew based on the way her shoulders slumped that her attempts to convince Jisung to come were helpless. “Is he on his way?”

Ash shook her head at Hyunjin and gave you a sad, guilty look.

“I’m sorry, Babe,” she whispered. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and plastered a smile on your face, trying to mask the hurt you felt. If anyone would’ve been able to convince him, it was her. You were thankful that she at least gave it a try. “S’okay. I didn’t really expect him to come after everything that happened. Thank you though for trying.”

“I’m gonna’ fucking kill him.” Jo then growled from beside you, her sudden outburst causing you to jump. Her eyebrows furrowed in anger as she shook her head in disgust. 

“Not if I kill him first.” Changbin piped in then, his jaw clenched in disbelief at his friend's behavior. He had his phone out in front of him and he was tapping relentlessly against the screen, no doubt sending yet another message to Jisung.

“I’m gonna’ help.” I.N decided, his tongue prodding his cheeks as he tried to hold back his frustration. “Binnie and I have watched enough true crime shows to know how to get away with homicide.”

“Don't you mean homie-side” Chan laughed, earning a glare from everybody else while he chuckled at his own joke. The pause was quick before everyone began plotting again, ignoring him and his old-man puns.

“Guys,” you rubbed the bridge of your nose as Jo and the boys began organizing what you hoped was nothing more than a hypothetical crime. With Jo, there was always the possibility of it being not-so. “Can we please just forget about it? We’re supposed to be saying goodbye, not plotting a murder.”

Your friends ignored you completely.

“You’re right." Jo then continued with a nod, her eyes burning holes into the floor as you saw the wheels practically spinning wildly in her mind. "We have to make it look like an accident.”

You sent Chan a look of desperation, to which he shrugged his shoulders and gave you a helpless look in return.

“Why are you looking at me? You know I have no control over them.” He tried to hide his smile behind a pathetic cough, no doubt reveling in the fact that for once in his life, he was not at the butt end of all the jokes.

You rolled your eyes and clenched your jaw in irritation as you glared at him before attempting to calm your friends down again.

“Guys, I think we’re overreacting a bit, yeah?” you tried.

“I’m thinking Carbon Monoxide in his sleep,” Seungmin stated, nodding his head in approval. The lack of emotion on his face had the hairs on your arms standing upright.

“I’m thinking we just chloroform the little bastard,” Minho suggested, his hands up, pretending like he was holding onto someone's head while he shoved an imaginary cloth into their non-existent face.

With that, you let out another sigh, louder this time, and rubbed at your temple. You gave Chan another look and winced when you saw his amused smile growing wider.

Traitor.

Thankfully, Ash caught on to your distress and spoke up quickly on your behalf.

“Guys!”

Immediately, like little ducklings, everyone stopped talking and turned to look at her. She always stepped into the parental role when Chan couldn’t be bothered to, it was part of the platonic partnership they came up with when they were deemed as Mom and Dad of the group. The boys may not have always respected Chan, but they never failed to listen to and respect Ash.

“Can we please wait and discuss our premeditated murders until after y/n’s gone? I don’t think she wants to spend the last of her time with us being reminded of he who shall not be named.”

The boys and Jo muttered their apologies before they dove into other conversations with one another. You mouthed a ‘thank you’ Ash’s way before being roped into the conversation with them.

*****

It didn’t take long for the time to fly by. One minute you were thanking Ash for stepping in and calming the kids down, and the next, the time had come. The boys were currently held up in a heated debate about Jo and her nickname for Innie when you reluctantly glanced up at the clock.

A sigh left your mouth. 

It was time to go through security and find your gate.

“Only Jo gets to call me Daddy Toast, you know that!” 

“I know it, but I’ll never understand it.”

“What does that even mean anyway?”

“See Hyune. This is why you’re the leader of Paboracha.”

“It means she thinks I’m hot!”

“I do not, Innie!”

“Okay, I do not approve of this conversation anymore.”

You let out a giggle as Chan let out his signature disappointed dad sigh, a hand running down his face as the kids began arguing again. He turned to look at you, his face now pleading.

“Please don’t leave me with these idiots.”

“You’ll be fine,” you reassured him with a smirk. The smirk quickly turned into a sad smile as you let out a breath. “I have to go now.”

Chan nodded before he clapped his hands to grab everyone's attention. He received a little more resistance than Ash had, but everyone was quick to shut up and listen. “Alright you heathens, it’s time to say goodbye to Bunny.” 

One by one, each of your friends stepped forward to give you one last hug goodbye. Hyunjin and Felix squished you into a HyunLix sandwich while planting friendly kisses all across your face, causing you to giggle and squeeze them against you. Changbin then impatiently pulled you from their arms and literally swept you off your feet, spinning you around easily as he crushed you with his biceps.

I.N and Minho both settled for ruffling your hair and patting your head before wrapping you in a half hug and squeezing you gently to show their affection. You were surprised to find Chan tear-free as he stepped from Jo’s side, a complete one-eighty from his drunken speech the night before. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head, smiling proudly.

“Go kick some worldwide ass,” he whispered as he rubbed his hands up your back soothingly, no doubt trying to help ease the tension he probably felt in your shoulders. The tears that were threatening to pool in your eyes suddenly appeared at the sound of his words, and you purposely wiped your tears on the fabric of his shirt. The sigh that left Chan’s mouth at your actions was funny enough to make you laugh but not enough to stop the sudden flow of water pouring from your eyes like a faucet.

“I’m going to miss you guys so much,” you whispered back as he planted a kiss on the top of your head and then let you go.

Seungmin was last, a giant pout on his lips as he stepped into your open arms.

“Please don’t forget about us, okay?” he asked dramatically, as if you weren't set to return to his side eighteen months from now. He sulked into your embrace, willing himself not to cry. You smiled through your own tears. 

“I could never forget about you, Pup.”

At that, a single tear fell down Seungmin's cheek. He quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of his oversized hoodie before flashing you a playful grin.

“I know that you’re with Seojun now and the old man gave me strict instructions not to kiss you anymore but-”

Before you could even protest, Seungmin dipped his head and kissed your cheek mischievously before folding you in his arms.

“- I don’t care what grandpa says. You know I live to break the rules, and if Seojun fucks up, I’ll break him.”

You nuzzled your face into his shoulder. Unlike Chan, Seungmin didn’t seem to mind the tears (and snot) that were staining his sweater. He just ran his hand through your messy hair and shushed you as you hiccupped.

“You’re a menace to society,” you whispered lovingly at him.

“I love you too Bunny,” Seungmin laughed before pulling away from you and holding you at arm's length. “No more crying okay? We don’t want the resident trash panda making a return before she’s due overseas.” His hands cupped your face, thumbs wiping at your cheeks softly as he bent and gave you his best smile. 

You snorted at his joke and smacked him lightly, trying to pull your face from his grasp while he laughed at your reaction. 

“I’m kidding Bunny. You are going to kill it out there. Seriously. You have all of us behind you. If you need us, call. Any time.”

You nodded and gave him one last tight bear hug in return before you took a deep breath and turned to face the two you were dreading saying goodbye to the most.

When you turned to the girls, the waterworks went into overdrive. Together, Ash and Jo came forward to hug you, their chins resting on each of your shoulders as your arms wrapped around them tightly.

“I’m so proud of you,” Jo whispered, hiccuping through her words.

“We’re so proud of you.” Ash corrected her, her hand running up and down your back. You gave both of them a gentle squeeze and willed yourself to stay like that for several moments as reality sunk in.

This was it. 

You were really doing this.

Never in a million years did you think you’d be saying goodbye to your friends and heading out on your own tour without them, yet here you were. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous as hell, thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong and then some. 

Who were you going to go to when you needed someone to proofread your next chapter if you couldn’t sneak into Ash’s or Seungmin's room and bother them? Who were you going to bribe into late-night ice cream dates when your mind turned to mush after staring at the screen all day if you couldn’t ask Changbin and Jisung? Who was going to sprawl out on the couch with you on your off days and watch K-dramas if it wasn’t Felix, I.N, or Minho? Who was going to talk trash about reality television with you if it wasn’t Hyunjin, Jo, and Chan? 

Your heart felt heavy.

Jo must’ve sensed it cause her hand came up to hold the back of your head as she pulled away and looked at you, tears washing down her face.

“We’ll facetime every chance we get, okay?”

You let out an unattractive snort.

“You don’t even use Apple, Jo.”

She rolled her eyes at you.

“Binnie and I stand by what we said about Samsung being superior.”

“Superior, my ass!” Felix called out from somewhere behind her. Jo twisted her head around and gave him a glare.

“Oi. You’re lucky I love you Lixie or I’d kick you off of The Freckled Friends Baking Show and have Binnie replace your apple-loving ass.”

Felix’s lip jutted out at Jo’s threat. 

“Binnie doesn’t even have freckles! You wouldn’t dare!”

Jo flipped him off with a smirk. “Watch me, bitch.”

Another round of arguing ensued then, this one about which cell phone brand was better, and you resisted the urge to join them. As much as you loved your friends and their chaotic antics, you needed to leave, no matter how badly you didn’t want to at that moment.

“I’ll keep you updated on Ji,” Ash whispered as she pulled away from you. You thanked her and finally stepped away from the group. With your carry-on in one hand and your purse in the other, you gave your friends one last nod, one last smile, one last awkward wave before you turned your back on them and headed towards the security line.

You couldn’t help but turn your head back every couple of minutes as you waited in line patiently. Every time you glanced back at your group, they were smiling and waving and cheering you on. You were surprised the lot of you hadn’t been kicked out of the airport already for causing such a commotion. 

You waved again when you reached the front of the line, the security guard taking your ticket and I.D. and instructing you to unload your belongings into the bins to go through the machine, which you did.

It took you no less than a couple minutes to get through security unscathed and gather your belongings on the other side. 

When you retrieved your phone from the basket you saw you had a couple unread messages from Felix. You smiled widely when you opened the messages to find Felix had sent you a handful of photos. A couple were of you heading towards the security line, while the rest of them were pictures of the group waving and blowing kisses goodbye.

You grinned and ran your hand through your hair as you stopped and glanced back up through the security gate. You had your hand raised and were bidding one final farewell to your group when a familiar figure caught your eye.

Lo and behold, standing a few feet in front of your group of friends, staring at you through the line of people was the man you were waiting for. Dressed in dark sweatpants, a darker hoodie, and a white backward cap, Han Jisung frowned at you as he waved goodbye.

Part Two is here!!!!

God, I forgot how much I adored this mini-series! Re-reading now is making me so emotional and nostalgic.

Thank you all for returning for Part Two!!!

Prepare yourselves for Part Three, cause it's a sad one!!

See you all soon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix

If you want to be added to the taglist, lmk!!!

Previous Part | Next Part

[stargirlstabber]

just a lil ask game ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

🌸Are you more of a savory person or a sweet person?

🌺If you had to switch places with an animal for 1 day, which animal would you choose? Why?

🌷Are you a mountain person or a beach lover?

💐Do you enjoy cooking or baking?

🌹What are your three favorite songs?

🥀Do you have any pets?

💮What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🌻What is your favorite food?

🏵️What is your favorite color?

🌼Who is your favorite celebrity?

🍂What is your favorite fruit?

🍁What is your favorite season, and why?

🍄What was your favorite TV show growing up?

🌾What song or playlist do you have on repeat right now?

🌱If you are in a bad mood, what could cheer you up every time?

🌿What is your favorite inspirational life quote?

🍃What do you listen to in the morning?

🍀Whose voice is calming to you?

🪴What is the last book you read?

🌵What’s your favorite movie of all time?

🌳Do you have a hidden talent?

🌲What is your biggest fear when it comes to relationships?

🌴Whose death hit you hardest? (movie, series,...)

🌟What's your love language?

✨What do you wish you were really good at?

💫If you were a dog, what kind of dog would you be?

🌕If you could jump into a pool full of something, what would it be?

[hannieween]

pillow talk | city lights series | h.js

Deep down, you knew you were growing an attachment to... whatever this was. Joshua was not intoxicating, you were wrong about that, he was addictive.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbours with benefits ✮ word count: 11.7k

→ part i – part ii – other fics

₊🎧: closer to you - jung kook ♡︎ | bad sad and mad - bibi | not sorry - i.m ♡︎

₊ nsfw warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: smut with plot, low-key instant love, slight corruption kink, foul language, dirty talk, dom Joshua, sub reader, big dick Joshua, a bit of praise/degradation kink, oral sex (f), a bit of grinding, pussy stretching, brat taming: spanking and bondage (f. receiver), protected sex, doggy, dumbification, multiple orgasms (f, m) pet names: bunny, baby, pretty, sweetheart, princess (hers)

part iii

It was about one in the morning when your brain decided it had its fill from your bed and it was time to get to work. You let out a frustrated groan and threw your bedcovers away, stretching your arms as you made your way to the bathroom to wash your face.

The last two weeks have been a nightmare, in both the literal and figurative way. Not sleeping for a few nights straight does more damage to your body each time you go on a streak like this. It affects appetite, causes mood swings and those two symptoms together make your life living a nightmare.

But in fact you were in the final stages of finishing your manuscript. So not sleeping meant you had more time to work on it and, perfectionist that you are, you devoted every waking hour to finishing it.

That is to say, you haven't seen Joshua for the past fourteen days. 

The last time you had seen him, you realized the feelings that were beginning to grow in you were not just lust and desire. You felt a certain kind of affection, endearment to him that was dangerous given the nature of your relationship with him.

So, you did what you knew best: bury yourself in writing and reading. And to really sink yourself in work, you'd either go to a library or a café to write.

Sometimes you gave yourself breaks, you went to the gym, to the market, went out with Yena, it was all good. It kept your mind off the thought of your neighbor turned fuckbuddy turned crush.

Is he a crush? Who knows. The waters are muddy after sleeping with him. Was he still a crush if you felt something unspeakable for him?

Who knows.

Though you haven't had any interactions with him, your brain couldn't stop reminding you of him. Even your social media appeared to be knowing that you had something to do with his band, since your feed was plagued with Midnight Haze photos.

One day you decided to venture a little into his personal page. His page was kept up to date with posts that were mostly of him on stage. The shots ranged from him playing guitar, his eyes set on the chords, brow furrowed in concentration, tongue in between his lips.

The most recent photos were of him in a professional recording studio. Apparently Midnight Haze was recording something. So at least, he was busy as well.

It didn't come as a surprise to you when you had dreams of him—or nightmares, you called them.

Brutal, cruel nightmares of him in which he'd be with you: he'd called you his, whispered sweet nothings in your ear. More painful to you was knowing that he was off limits.

Because he told you that himself, after your inquisitive mouth pried on his thoughts on relationships. He's been single for years and he's not actively looking for someone.

It seemed easier to you to best leave it alone. And most painful for you to know that he wasn't looking for you either.

Or so you thought.

It was Friday night. The city was not particularly busy at one in the morning but the few cars on transit had music playing loud on speakers as they passed by.

You made it to the rooftop of your building, feeling so drowsy and frustrated from the lack of sleep that you rested your head on the top of the ledge, using your forearms as a pillow.

The restlessness caused by the inability to sleep made your chest and head tired.

You've tried many things to combat insomnia. Ranging from getting sleeping pills or gummies (which worked, but didn't like the co-dependence they created), calming teas (didn't work), exercise (at what cost, really), special gummies (fun but don't really work after a while), etcetera.

So, like the dramatic you were, you decided to suffer through it.

The rattling noise caused by the exit door of the rooftops startled you, making you snap your head back to see Joshua stepping out into the chill air of the night. 

You wanted to say that Joshua was a sight for sore eyes. Yes. But deep down, you only knew that seeing him, being around him would only end up bad for you.

"Hi, Joshua," you mumbled nonetheless when he crossed the space between you and him.

Dressed all in black, hoodie, sweatpants, sneakers, he looked irresistible. And on top of that he looked disappointed too, or upset.

A question rose in the back of your mind: did he hear you use the fire exit to come to the rooftop and that's how he found you were here?

You had to tilt your head back to look up at him. His tired eyes studied your face, almost as if he had forgotten the features from it. Even in the cold air, you felt blood creep on your cheeks, so hot you thought it'd cause frostbite.

"You've been avoiding me."

Oh, he was upset.

"I haven't," you lied and you even put up the act of it and shook your head innocently.

"Why?" he asked, ignoring your obvious lie.

"I'm not avoiding you, Joshua. I've been busy, that's all," you replied.

That last part was true. But you made sure that you stayed busy to have little time for him.

"Did I do something wrong? The other night. I understand if you don't want to see me but I just want to know," he asked slowly, his curious eyes gathering every single movement and expression you made.

Your whole body shook with the memory of the last night you saw him—of him taking care of you after fucking you hard, making you feel things like no one ever had made you feel.

"Everything's fine, Joshua. You did no-nothing wrong," you stammered nervously.

He didn't look satisfied with your answer. Probably because it was pretty evident that you were holding back the truth.

It was crazy how well he read you, he didn't even know you for long.

"I uh-'m about to finish the manuscript," you blurted, not knowing if starting small talk was the smartest thing, but in your anxiousness from seeing him again, that's the first thing you went for.

Joshua blinked. "That means you won't need me anymore," he said in a hollow tone as a corner of his lips rose slightly in a faint but bitter smile.

"That was the deal," you frowned, bewildered at his reaction. "I'm submitting the final version on monday."

He nodded silently, pushing his black bangs from his forehead with one hand.

Something inside you fluttered again. God, he's so beautiful. His plump lips and big dark eyes, his large pretty hands, his soft voice. Intoxicating.

"So I have three nights left," he frowned slightly.

You nodded, the fluttering inside you intensified, stealing your breath away.

"If you'd still have me, obviously," his pierced eyebrow arched. "Unless that's why you're avoiding me."

He couldn't be farther from the truth.

A frustrated sigh broke in your chest. "Shut up, Joshua," you whispered into his lips, using a hand on his nape to pull him to you, which he kissed back instantly, and almost fervently.

Joshua's chest vibrated with a groan when your other hand crept up to reach the crook of his neck. Kissing him again this deeply and passionately almost broke you, it did something to your brain, like taking a breath for the first time in days.

"You drive me crazy," he groaned, pressing your body with his own against the hard wall of the ledge.

You gasped and looked at his eyes before his mouth was on yours again. Your hands grabbed his face as his mouth kissed you heatedly, almost angrily.

"Do you remember your safeword?" he breathed against you, pushing his forehead to your own.

The safeword immediately was uttered by you, no second thought paid to what this would cost you, what this would mean to you.

"That's my girl," he whispered as his fingers gingerly grabbed your cheek, to kiss your lips softly over and over again.

It killed you how much some simple words would have your knees wobbling. You weren't his girl. But god, you ached for it to be true.

"Joshua," you whispered back in between kisses.

"Mm?" he hummed, moving his lips to your jaw and below your ear.

"Please, just..." you moaned when you felt his lips reach the crook of your neck, where he breathed softly as he placed open mouthed kisses on your skin.

"What is it, princess?" he asked, still torturing you with tender kisses on your neck, your body pressed against the wall of the ledge on the rooftop.

"Let's go to mine," you managed to get out, your fingers reaching the side of his head, feeling his soft dark hair.

"What if I want you right here?" he groaned gruffly, his mouth coming back to yours to kiss you, muffling a weak moan from you. "Would you like that, sweetheart?"

A rush of adrenaline at the thought of Joshua fucking you against the wall burned in your bones. "Yes, oh god, yes," you whimpered pathetically.

He hummed in approval, his hands grabbing your waist to give you a gentle squeeze. "You'd let me fuck you anywhere?" he nudged his nose with yours.

You nodded slightly, the tip of your nose brushing his. "I would. Anywhere, Shua."

"Even if someone sees?" he asked, darting a look down to your lips then your eyes.

You considered it for a second. "Yeah, I think so," you nodded. 

His dark eyes glinted in fascination, a mischievous smile showing his teeth. "Lean against the wall, bunny. I wanna lift you up."

You did as he told, leaning your shoulder blades against the brick wall of the ledge the same time he hoisted your legs around his hips, pressing your body between his own and the wall.

"Why are you in your pjs?" he asked with a small smile when he appeared to be seeing you clearly once you were in his arms.

"I can't sleep," you explained, trying to kiss him again but he pulled his head back a bit, stopping you.

"Why?" he frowned.

Because of you.

"I just can't sleep," you insisted flatly. "You know this."

"I know but–," he pointed with his nose at your bunny pyjamas. "You're shivering."

"It's cold," you replied with a meek smile.

He rolled his eyes with a sweet smile. "Right. Seems like we're taking this to your place, then."

"Nooo," you cried out, cupping the side of his head to try and kiss him again, you grazed his lips as you added: "I wan' you here. Right now."

A low moan coiled in his throat when your tongue swiped past his lower lip and brushed against his. "Brat," he whispered, adjusting your body in his arms to pull away from the wall, carrying you altogether and toward the door that led back inside the building.

You instinctively wrapped your legs and arms around him to hold onto his strong body until he put you back to the floor to lead you down the stairs.

"Is your lock still the same?" he asked when you got to your door.

You nodded, your body had stopped shivering now that you were in the hallway of the heated building.

He entered the number combination of your door to open it for you and you were quick to hold onto his hand to take him directly to your bedroom, earning a soft chuckle from him.

Something broke inside you, something desperate, eager and hungry. You were growing addicted to him and been deprived from his touch for two weeks.

You turned to him and grabbed his head as he dipped for a reciprocated needy kiss. Your hands slid down to his chest to push him against your bed, he stumbled backwards.

Though his body barely touched the foot of the bed, he understood what you wanted. 

"Impatient little thing," he sighed, revealing an amused smile.

"I missed you," you admitted despite yourself pushing him again so that he climbed to the bed backwards before kicking his shoes. You followed his movements, climbing the bed after him.

Impatience is a funny thing, it manifests in you in the most unexpected ways. It made you confident enough to get him under your body, his hands reaching out to knead your thighs through your bunny pyjamas as you straddled him, feeling his already hardened length as you pressed against him.

You repeated the movement, anchoring your hands on his hard chest to press on him again and again, thus grinding on him, making yourself moan and salivate upon feeling how big he felt, how hard for you he was already. 

"Fuck," he whispered softly, grabbing your hips to follow your movements, his face contorted slightly. 

"Did you miss me?" you asked meekly, your heart thumping violently against your chest.

"Is that what you wanted?" he retorted bitterly.

Then his hands tightened on your hips, and deciding it wasn't enough, he slipped them under your pyjama bottoms and undies to grab and knead your ass along with a groan.

"That's not an answer, Joshua," you pointed matter-of-factly.

A low chuckle escaped his mouth. "You're bossy tonight, princess," he muttered.

You pressed your hips down a bit harder and more demanding against his hard cock. You knew you wouldn't last long like this, since you were already feeling breathless and tired.

Joshua's eyes were trained on you, shining with a glint of fascination. His hands grabbed your ass firmly, following the movements of your hips against his cock. He even blinked slowly, as if not wanting to miss a fraction of a second of this.

His hands moved up from your ass, following the line of your back, gathering your top along to remove it completely with a bit of your help.

Joshua knew you were growing tired, he could see it as his awe-struck eyes were looking at you fixedly. "You're good at riding, baby," he mumbled with a small smile. "But you're a bit tired, aren't you?"

You nodded embarrassedly.

His knuckles grazed your nipples and started teasing them with his fingers, pinching at them softly, making you moan and buckle your hips against him.

"I need you, Joshua," you admitted and half pleaded.

Joshua chuckled softly, an amused look on his face. He kept watching you lose control on top of him, grinding on top of him desperately, your panties were so wet already that the fabric was sticking to your throbbing core.

You were beginning to feel desperate for release just from rubbing your fully clothed cunt against his hard (and also clothed) cock, moaning as his fingers teased your nipples.

"Please, please, Shua. I need you so bad," you whimpered as you swayed your hips desperately on him, beginning to feel that if you continued you would cum without him even touching you properly.

"What do you need from me, baby? You seem to be getting off like this," he muttered with his honeyed voice, looking at you with smiling eyes.

"Shua, please, I need you to—god-" you were cut short when Joshua lifted his hips from the bed slightly, pressing his hard cock against your core.

Your hands slid up his chest and held onto his shoulders to angle your clit on top of his hard cock, rubbing it desperately through your clothes and his.

"Take control, Joshua," you swallowed hard, panting from the exercise. "I need you to take control."

With all of the ease in the world, his hands grabbed you before he pushed your body on the bed and swiftly moved his body on top of yours.

"See that wasn't so hard," he muttered with a grin.

"You're enjoying this," you pointed, narrowing your eyes.

"It was fun watching you almost come with half your clothes on," his pierced brow arched slightly.

You blushed and tried to roll your eyes, feeling certain that although he said he was having fun, he was aching to take control as much as you were.

"You're being mean," you pouted, pretending to be offended.

A large hand cupped the side of your head, pushing away your hair with his fingers.

"That's what you get for shutting me out, sweetheart," he grunted before clashing his hot mouth on yours.

The kiss was greedy and dominating, almost as if he wanted to kiss your very soul. Joshua had never kissed you like that before, and you thought that maybe in past kisses he might have been holding back.

You moaned in his mouth, your hand sliding on his nape as the other held onto his shoulder.

"I looked for you, I knocked on your door but you never answered," he muttered in a dangerously low tone, sending chills down your spine.

He moved back and yanked your pyjama bottoms down, bringing your ruined panties along, leaving you wholly naked on the sheets of your messy bed.

"'m sorry," you muttered, looking down at your bare body left at the mercy of his scrutiny.

"Mmm, yeah. I've heard you say that before," he smiled playfully, making your insides jolt again.

He slowly placed his two hands on each side of your head, his arms towering on your sides as he dipped his head to place a feathery kiss on your lips, so slow and barely kissing that you felt his breath on your tongue.

"I think you like it," he said faintly into your lips, his voice below a murmur. "You disappeared on me to make me want you, is that it?"

"No, Joshua, I–"

"Because it worked," he cut in, lowering down his body so that his elbows pressed on the bed, you felt his weight on you. "I missed you."

"You did?" you asked, searching his eyes.

"I shouldn't—I know," he said as he clasped his mouth against yours, as if not wanting to hear what you'd say.

You moaned in protest on his lips.

Joshua broke the kiss with a soft smacking sound from his lips. "I'm your fuckbuddy, your toy to use."

"Joshua, you're not–" you tried to protest.

"I give you everything you want," he continued, pressing his forehead against yours, avoiding your gaze. "I make you feel good. I fuck you and leave the next day," he ran the tip of his finger down your cheek. "All for you to write about it."

The words started to sink in, and you got the full view of you in his perspective. And you understood why he was upset.

The transaction between you and him might not be as fair as you initially thought—he gets your body, however he wants it, whenever he wants it, or so it was the deal before you chickened out.

And in turn, you get pleasure, you feel wanted because of him and on top of it you get to use those experiences with him to finish your book.

"Joshua," you tried to protest, but he quickly brought a thumb to brush over your wet lips.

"I don't want to hear it," he whispered softly. "You owe me no explanations."

"But I feel like I do," you replied shamefully.

Joshua shook his head slightly. "We'll talk when I'm done with you," he pushed his forehead against yours again. "I need you right now."

At that, you were quickly subdued under his feathery kisses that progressed to more demanding, heated kisses. His tongue brushing yours, his lips firmly clasped on yours as his hands roamed freely on your bare skin, caressing your hips, to bring your legs around him so he could be between them.

In the back of your mind something protested: you didn't want Joshua to go on one more night thinking that you were using him. Even if you were.

But a louder voice told you that it probably seemed better to give him what he wanted now and then you could talk.

You pinched at the sides of his oversized hoodie, bringing it up and you slid your hands under the bundles of fabric to feel his bare back, eliciting a groan from him when your hands made their way to his lats.

Joshua pulled away to get rid of his hoodie, revealing his bare torso. His hair got ruffled in the way, so you reached out with your hands pushing his black hair away from his eyes.

"You're not going to tie me up this time?" you asked, remembering the last time you were in this position, except you were firmly tied to the rails of your bed.

"I have something else planned for tonight, sweetheart," he replied shortly, kissing under your jaw and using two fingers on your chin to angle your head for him.

You gave him no answer, and resorted to whining when you felt his lips on the crook of your neck, sucking slightly in the spots he knew well that would earn lewd sounds from your mouth.

Last time he did this, he marked your neck and chest with love bites, so visible and so enticing that you noticed a few curious glances from people you met on the street. You liked it, though. Liked that whenever you looked in the mirror you had a little reminder of him.

You sighed softly when his mouth made its way to your tits, where he landed more wet kisses around your areolas, biting at the soft flesh, making you cry out when his mouth captured your nipples, playing with them with his tongue and fingers each.

While you squirmed under his body, the only thing you could do was hold onto his shoulders, stroke his hair and tug at it whenever his bites would get harsher, making you moan desperately for more.

"Shua, please," you whimpered when his tongue flickered on one of your nipples, teasing with bites and more kisses.

He hummed in response, moving his hand from your waist and between your bodies, to then slip his middle and ring fingers inside you with no warning.

You gasped loudly and tugged his hair harder, making him stop teasing your tits to give you a glance as he pushed his fingers in and out of your slippery walls, massaging them with every thrust.

Soft whimpers were muffled by his mouth when he hovered on top of you to look at your face as he worked you cunt open for him, making you feel the drag of his fingers against your walls.

"What happened, baby? You were so bossy five minutes ago," he cooed, the corners of his red lips lifting slightly.

You swallowed hard. "I need you to-ahm fuck, Shua," his fingers started scissoring in your gummy walls as you tried to speak.

"I love it when you start cursing," he muttered, looking at you with a glint of amusement.

His hand started pumping on you harder and he crooked his fingers against your walls to reach for your g-spot, making you cry out and grab at his shoulders, digging your fingers on his skin.

"I need you inside me, Shua. Please," you whimpered pathetically, feeling your cheeks blaze under his devious gaze.

He pulled his fingers out of your throbbing core and thrusted them inside your mouth for you to lick them clean.

"Where did you put the condoms, sweetheart?" he asked, watching you suck his fingers obediently, only to drag them out of your mouth with a faint smack from your lips.

"In my drawer," you replied a second before Joshua's mouth was already on yours, lapping his tongue on your own to get a taste of you. 

Joshua knew you meant the drawer where you kept all your toys and underwear. He went to your first drawer and opened it to fish out the strip of condoms, get rid of the rest of his clothes, and come back to your bed.

He crawled back to you where you waited for him patiently, enjoying the sight of him naked once again.

"I want you on your knees," he muttered as he softly placed tender kisses on your lips and chin.

"M'kay," you nodded and Joshua pulled back so you could turn and follow his instruction.

A second later you felt his hand on your lower back press gently. "Bend for me, bunny."

You placed your hands on the bed as you angled your ass for him without a word, your breath coiling in your throat, making you bite your lips.

His hand slid from your lower back down to your ass, making you whimper when he caressed your skin carnally.

"You have the prettiest ass," he muttered, his other hand joining in and grabbing you firmly, adjusting you for him.

One hand left your ass and soon you felt his cockhead nudging at your entrance before pushing his length in your tight and wet walls, drawing out a long whine from you from a mixture of pleasure and pain of having him almost splitting you open with his cock.

You heard him release a heavy breath. "Fuck," he whispered when he bottomed out, grabbing you firmly before dragging out and pushing in again. "You're okay?"

You nodded. "Move, please, move, Joshua," you whimpered, feeling your pussy throb around his cock, adjusting to his size again after days of not having him inside you.

He chuckled faintly. "There's my bossy girl," he muttered before complying, rocking his hips against your ass.

Then the room was filled with the sound of sex as his hips picked up pace, slamming against your ass repeatedly, making your body bounce against him and the headboard creak and bang against the wall.  

You let out a strangled moan as you lowered yourself down to your elbows, arching your back for him. "God, Joshua," you groaned, feeling him hit deeply inside you.

Moans and whimpers spilled from your lips, which were partially muffled by pressing half of your face on your pillows.

"Fuck. You look so good like this, princess," you heard him whisper again in that awe-struck tone and you wished to have a way to see his face as he fucked you like this.

Maybe you could ask him to fuck you in front of a mirror next time, you thought. But then that would have to happen very soon, since like he said, your deal will be off in three nights.

His hands clenched on your ass and you felt him lift a hand from one of your glutes, only to bring it down in a harsh slap that reverberated across your room.

You yelped in pain, your skin sizzling on the area, and prickling when he used the same hand to rub gently. Arousal grew on your body when you felt him caress the recently tingling area.

"Harder," you muttered against your pillows. "Fuck me harder, Joshua."

You heard him chuckle softly. "Ask nicely, baby," he groaned before bringing a hand up and spanking you again harshly.

"Please, please, Joshua. I need you to fuck me harder. I need it, I need it so fucking bad, please," you cried and whimpered as your fists clenched your bedsheets, holding on as if your life depended on it.

His fingers dug on your skin before ramming his cock so deep and hard inside you that the very air escaped your lungs. The very act of having him fuck you so hard made you lose all control, your mind completely blank, all focus on his cock fucking you open.

You pressed your forehead on your pillows to muffle your cries, savoring your sweet release.

"I want to hear you, princess," he reminded you, his hand lifting again and landing in a harsher slap this time.

"Fuck!" you yelled, your head snapping back.

Your walls throbbed and clenched around his cock, feeling the sizzling on your skin be softened by his hand rubbing gently in your ass.

"Joshua," you gasped before he slapped your ass again, his hips pummeled against your ass incessantly, just how you wanted. "Fuck, I'm so close, 'm so close. Can I come? Please, please, 'm almost there."

"There's my good girl," he muttered, his hands clenching on your skin, fingers sinking on the sides of your hips as he continued to ram into you. "You can come, baby. Come on my cock."

A couple of thrusts later your orgasm washed over your body, burning so deep inside that it had you wailing loudly, your screams of pleasure reverberating against the walls.

Your fists clenched on your bedsheets in an attempt to stop your body from trembling, the pressure from the last waves of your long orgasm had you stirring your back as your whimpers flooded the room.

Your orgasm was long—the longest you've had yet. You whimpered his name as he rode your orgasm, hearing his soft groans under your moans of pleasure.

"God, Joshua," you sighed, starting to feel lightheaded.

The walls of your cunt ceased clenching erratically around him, but the wild need for more sizzled under your skin.

Joshua stopped ramming his hips against you some seconds later, the buzz on your ears started to die down, you heard his loud panting and raw groans.

His hands kept you in place, stopping you from simply collapsing into the bed until he slowly pulled out of your very sensitive walls, losing his grip on your body. 

With trembling limbs, you languidly let your body slump down on your bedsheets. Meekly turning around to find him on his knees before you, his head thrown back showing his sweaty neck, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard.

Your eyes trailed down to his chest, that was also covered in a sheen layer of sweat, to his happy trail that led to his still hardened cock. The condom was full of his cum and it was so much of it, the sight of it made you shudder in a fascination that was very new to you.

You didn't even realize when he came.

The aftermath of being fucked so hard left you beyond tired, your mind was still blank, the only thing on your mind was how good it felt to be fucked open. Your skin had goosebumps all over, and your legs and legs trembled ever so slightly and it wasn't from being cold.

Joshua came down to his senses before you did, leaning his head down to look at you. "Are you okay?"

You blinked at him slowly and nodded. "'m okay."

He patted your leg softly. "C'mon, bunny. Let's get in the shower."

Your heart fluttered frantically. "No," you mumbled, turning your face onto the pillows.

"Do you want me to carry you?" you heard him ask.

You shook your head. "I'll meet you there," you told him, turning your face for him to hear you properly.

He rolled his eyes, but showed you a small smile. "If you don't, I'll come back for you."

You smiled back. "I expect nothing less."

He climbed down your bed and disappeared from your bedroom. Minutes later, you heard the faint noise from the shower in the distance as you gathered yourself.

You felt dirty, sticky. Not because of the fact that you just had sex. And not in the way that would be solved by taking a shower.

With a sigh, you collected yourself and stumbled from your bed. Dragging your body to the shower, where you found Joshua standing under the stream of water, his hands pushing his hair back.

The urge to ask him to take you again invaded you when you saw him like this. He looked incredibly hot, his soaked black hair pushed back, his eyes closed to let the water wash his face, his mouth parted a little. The water running between his toned pecs, to his bellybutton, to-

"Hi," you smiled sheepishly when he caught you staring at him.

He offered you a smile before cupping your face with his wet hands. "Sure you're okay?" he asked, looking at your eyes.

"Yeah," you breathed, holding his wrists weakly. "'m just a bit tired."

His smile grew and his eyebrow lifted. "Well, yeah. I almost break you."

You felt your cheeks grow hotter.

Joshua moved so that you had space to stand under the showerhead. "Let me," he muttered and you understood that he wanted to help you wash up.

God, why is he like this? He made it harder for you, being so caring and affectionate with you only fucked with your head.

He washed your hair in silence, the warm water and his gentle fingers rubbing your scalp almost drew you to snooze right there and then.

"Why do you do this, Joshua?" you asked, breaking the silence between you.

"Do what?" he replied, his voice low.

"Taking care of me after sex. I know you call it aftercare, but I want to know why you'd bother to do this," you mumbled, not caring that you were being a bit blunt with your words. 

"Mmm, I think it's important to treat you right. You're good to me, I'll be good to you," he hummed. "How did you feel after having sex with your former partners?"

"I didn't care enough to stay," you darted a look back to him as he washed your back.

You actually thought that it was way too intimate when Joshua held you after sex. But you found out that you liked it. In fact you liked it so much that it was one of the things you looked forward to the most then you slept with him.

His eyes searched your face for a moment. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No. I like this," you frowned. "I'm not asking you to stop. I just wanted to know what you're thinking."

There was a brief pause, but his hands kept busy washing your hair. "I think that you're thinking too much about it."

Maybe you were. Maybe you had found that you liked it when he showed you so much care and attention after sex. And maybe that was the reason why you were falling fast for him.

"Are you falling asleep, bunny?" he asked with his sweet voice when you leaned your head back on his shoulder, letting him rub soap all over your body.

You nodded weakly. "Seems like the best cure for insomnia is to have really hard sex," you mumbled.

A soft laugh came from him and you imagined his beautiful smile. Then his lips pressed on the side of your head, making your heart flutter frantically.

"We're almost done," he muttered.

He also helped you towel dry your body and hair before returning to your bedroom. You saw him gathering your pyjamas from the floor, and before he could do or say anything about them, you grabbed him by the arm and dragged him with you toward the bed.

You snuggled him under your bed sheets, avoiding his curious eyes by hiding your face on the crook of his neck despite how affectionate the act felt.

Instantly, your stomach fluttered with all the dreaded emotions you've been trying to avoid for the past few days.

You shuddered when his arms encircled your body, tugging you as close as humanly possible to his own.

"Do you still want to talk?" you heard him ask.

"I..." you craned your neck to look at his face. "I'm sorry for distancing myself, I... was busy," you whispered, feeling the need to explain more.

But he shook his head slightly. "I get it if you need space," he muttered, looking at you with sincere eyes. "Just, tell me next time, okay?"

"There won't be a next time, Joshua," you whispered. "Deal's off on monday."

He tucked his arm under his head to look at you intently. "That doesn't mean you won't disappear on me tomorrow," he smiled softly.

"Don't worry, I won't disappear," you rolled your eyes at the last word.

The corner of his mouth twitched. "I'll hold you to that statement."

"Okay, sir," you smiled. "How are you going to do that?"

"If I tell you you'll ruin the fun of it," his teeth showed as his smile broadened.

You chuckled, your chest swelling with emotions you didn't want to acknowledge.

He appeared to be knowing that you still had something to say but couldn't. "Get some rest, bunny. You deserve it," he muttered before kissing your forehead repeatedly.

"G'night, Shua," you whispered before sleeping peacefully for the first time in nights.

Joshua woke up before you did.

Before you opened your eyes, you reached out with your arms beneath the covers on the side he had slept in, only to find it empty. That made you open your eyes, reaffirming that you were alone in your bed.

"Joshua?" you called, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.

The clock on your phone read eleven o'clock. You usually didn't oversleep, since your sleeping habits were so bad.

"Oh, god," you sighed, dropping your phone on the bedcovers.

You buried your face in your hands for a few seconds before you noticed that there was no other noise in your apartment indicating that Joshua heard you call for him.

Something clenched hard in your chest, as if the bitter reality had punched you in your heart. You jumped out of your bed, inspecting your bedroom to find no trace of Joshua's belongings. You then dressed in your pyjamas before going to the living room.

A part of you tried to tell you that he probably had plans to tend to, and that was fair. Your relationship was purely sexual, so there was no need to wake up together like an actual couple.

But the other part of you was aching to know why he had left like that.

You grabbed your phone that you abandoned on your bed. It was fruitless, though, since you hadn't even exchanged phone numbers.

Teary eyed, you tried not to let it get into you.

However, the onslaught of anxieties invaded your mind quickly. How were you supposed to react? Would you feel indifferent if you weren't infatuated with him? Nothing could rub off the fact that Joshua came in last night, fucked you and then left while you slept.

Even if you tried to distract yourself, you couldn't shrug off the feeling that if you had listened to yourself last night before kissing him again, you wouldn't be feeling this dumb.

Would pretending that what happened last night help? Probably not. But did you have the need to distance yourself from the fact that you were hurt he left without saying bye? Yes.

So you pretended he didn't exist at all and you took yourself out for a stroll to the mall, and the bookstore, buy something cute for yourself.

It was childish, you knew that much. Buying yourself cute stuff in the attempt to rid your mind off the thought of him was only a reaffirmation that he was very much present in your mind. And was costing you money, if you dared to pay more attention to it.

No, you're doing this for you. You told yourself over and over again.

You bought yourself a new outfit, a novel that had been on your feed the past month, a lavender candle for your studio, and you even indulged in buying a new lingerie set. Only for you, obviously.

You came back to your building hands full: shopping bags on both hands, and you managed to carry milk tea in the midst. So when you got into your elevator, you found yourself in a bit of a tussle.

"Do you need help with that?" you heard someone ask, making you tear your eyes from the buttons of the elevator to find a young man, of sharp nose and sweet brown eyes.

"Thank you," you smiled shyly and stepped back. "I'm on the third floor."

The stranger's lithe fingers only pressed the button on the third floor.

"Ah, look at that. Me too," he smiled politely.

"We're neighbors, then," you pointed out the obvious with the intention of being friendly. "I'm 317."

"Aaahh," he sighed while nodding his head, the tips of his ears growing red. "Nice. 318," he pointed one finger to his frame.

Your stomach dropped. So this was Joshua's roommate.

"Nice meeting you," you smiled, feeling your cheeks grow hot. But you told him your name nonetheless.

"Nice meeting you too, I'm Seokmin," he nodded politely, but you just couldn't ignore how red his ears had turned.

You knew why you were feeling hot in your face. Unfortunately, you've heard him and his girlfriend having sex a couple of times. But why was he blushed too?

Oh, crap. Has he heard you and Joshua?

"Well, see you around," he nodded again when the doors of the elevator parted and he hurried toward his apartment door.

"See you," you muttered, but he was already opening his door and closing it immediately.

You got in your apartment, kicking your shoes and dropping your bags on the floor of your living room before sitting down on your comfy couch to chew absentmindedly on the straw.

Mind reeling, you thought of the times when you screamed Joshua's name as you came. Did his roommate hear that? The walls were thin, so it was all too likely that he'd heard your lewd noises.

A soft knock on your door startled you, stopping your train of thought. And suddenly, you were running to your door, opening it to find Joshua standing outside.

Not a word came out from your mouth—you didn't say hi, or cuss him out, as you thought you would while you were busy trying to shrug him off your thoughts.

You just grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt and dragged him inside your apartment as your lips met his.

"Hi there yourself," Joshua muttered, an amused smile on his lips once you broke away to let him in.

"No talking," you shushed, your hand slipping on his nape to pull him for another kiss.

He muffled a chuckle in your mouth, using a hand on your waist to pull you closer to his frame.

"''m sorry for leaving this morning, I-" he stammered quickly in between needy kisses from you.

"I said no talking," you insisted with a whine.

He looked amused for a moment. Then he bit his lower lip before bending down, his hands that were on your waist quickly lifted you up just like the night before, so you quickly caught on to what he was trying to do.

You wrapped your legs around him as he carried you and threw you on your bed, making you yelp in excitement and prop yourself on your elbows to take a look at him.

Joshua kicked his boots off before pressing a knee on the mattress. He was wearing something stylish, in line with his general style, but he also looked flawless, almost as if camera ready.

"Where were you?" you inquired, seeing his denim blue jacket, equally blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

Unlike the night before, his hair was arranged carefully, a few stray strands of hair hanging neatly on his forehead.

"I thought you didn't want to talk," he replied as he took his blue denim jacket off and dropped to the floor.

Joshua appeared to be in a haste. He grabbed the hem of the blouse you wore and you automatically raised your arms for him to drag your pretty top off you.

"I'm curious now," you sighed, trying to look unbothered.

You lowered your head on your pillows to watch him undo the button of his blue jeans with one free hand and then step out of them and his half naked body climbed on top of yours.

"I was busy," he told you indifferently, reading your expression with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Oh, I see," your eyebrows arched. "That's how it is. Okay."

He cocked the pierced eyebrow at you, almost mimicking your expression. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," you replied quickly. "Why would I be?"

Joshua sighed a small chuckle when your hands went to the hem of his shirt, trying to take it off his body. He helped you through it, moving his body back to pull his body from the pristine white fabric.

He tossed his t-shirt to the floor. "You tell me, baby. You're the one with the attitude," he pointed, his tone was not condescending, he sounded amused at your tantrum.

"I don't have an attitude," you bit back as you unclasped your bra. "It was just a question."

He helped you move your bra out of the way. "I had a showcase to some producers," he explained as the smile broadened on his face.

"And earlier this morning?" you blurted, your cheeks growing blazing hot.

When you saw his eyes bore into your again, there was a glint of intrigue in them. As if he'd just put two and two.

"Are you asking me why I left when you were sleeping?" he didn't wait for your answer, but you could tell that his gaze softened. "I had to leave early and I just didn't wake you cause I knew that you needed sleep."

You felt embarrassed but eased into the bed. "Oh, okay. I'm sorry," you darted a look in his amused face.

"I didn't think it would upset you," he said as his eyes captured every movement. "I'm sorry if it did."

"Oh, no, nonono," you blurted hurriedly. "I didn't—when did I say I was upset?"

"Did you think I left to make you feel bad in any way?" he ventured with a small confused frown.

"No—of course not. I just thought," you stammered, but stopped once you found yourself at a loss for reasons.

His eyes locked on yours. "Why did you think I'd do that?"

"Because I avoided you for weeks," you mumbled with a small roll of your eyes, feeling annoyed at yourself from earlier.

"Mmm, so you do admit to that, baby?" the corners of his lips rose slightly.

You bit your tongue so hard your eyes watered.

Joshua's gaze hardened, with a sigh he pushed the tip of his nose on the apple of your cheek almost lovingly before muttering: "I thought you trusted me, sweetheart."

You swallowed thickly. "Joshua, I'm sorry," you tried to explain but he cut you off.  

"You need to stop saying that," he whispered against your cheek before pressing his lips on your cheekbone. "Especially when you don't mean it."

Your brow furrowed. "I mean it," you replied innocently. "I'm sorry."

"Prove it," he muttered darkly in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

"I'll do anything," you replied all too quickly.

"No talking, baby," he growled in your ear. 

You watched him climb down the bed and open the top drawer to get the fuzzy handcuffs he had gotten for you.

"Joshua, I-"

"I said no talking," he repeated, and unlike you, he made his command firm. "If you want to stop, use your safeword."

Half naked, he climbed back to the bed, and sat on his knees on top of you, straddling you, without lowering his full weight on you.

"Give me your hand," he locked one wrist first and placed your arm above your head, to then wrap the handcuffs around one of the rails of your bed.

"Give me the other," he instructed and you offered him your free wrist for him to place it above your head on the pillows, safely cuffing it with your other hand.

Two fingers grabbed your chin, forcing your eyes to lock on his. "Good girl," he whispered, placing a feathery kiss on your lips. "You only behave when you're about to get my cock. Right, pretty?"

You looked at him expectantly, feeling your face grow hotter.

The corners of his lips rose slightly when you didn't utter a word. "You could've been perfect for me," he whispered, his fingers moving from your chin, to graze your cheek fondly. "If only you weren't such a liar."

There was no answer from you. But he could see in your eyes that his words stung.

"How do you expect me to believe every word you say if your actions tell the opposite?" he inquired softly.

Even if you could talk, you knew you had nothing to say.

He tutted softly, with an air of disappointment. "Telling me you trust me, only to disappear right after."

Joshua moved from your body to undo the button of your jeans. You lifted your hips from the bed to help him get your jeans from your body and he smiled at your compliance.

Though you were also eager to see where this was going.

"You're so beautiful," he muttered, sounding fascinated as he looked at your bare body and his eyes landed on your face.

Your heart stuttered but when your eyes locked with his, you could've broke right then and there. But you bit back your words.

"I think I'm going to miss this, baby. I'm going to miss you so much," he mumbled.

It was then that you understood he was taunting you by saying sweet nothings to prompt you to speak, and it hurt you to realize it this late. Whether or not the things he was saying were true, he knew you would want to respond to him.

You glared at him as he moved on top of your body again. He caught your eye immediately, leaning his head to kiss the bridge of your nose sweetly.

"Remember when you told me you liked me?" he asked and waited for your answer, teasing you by nibbling your lower lip with his teeth. "Were you lying about that too?"

Though mildly hurt from his words, you tried holding his gaze, hoping Joshua would see the sincerity in them.

If he did, he didn't let it show.

He dipped his head on the crook of your neck, placing open mouthed kisses on your skin, holding nothing back. He licked and kissed on your sensitive spots, which he had apparently already learned by heart.

Joshua said nothing about not moaning so you moaned loudly as he sucked lovebites below your earlobe, and in the curve between your shoulder and neck, trailing down to your chest and tits. He hummed sweetly as he marked you mercilessly, as if trying to leave his mark in your skin so deeply that nothing could erase him from your memory.

You cried out when he bit the tender flesh around your areolas, only to soothe over it by running his tongue on the sore area softly. You wanted to call out his name—to tell him how good it felt. But you knew it was futile.

"God, baby. You're doing so well right now," he muttered faintly, almost as if he were impressed. "I wonder how well you'll behave with my cock inside you."

You whimpered at the crude language, feeling your body burn in excitement. The cuffs restraining your arms made a rattling noise when you squirmed under his body, making him smile.

"I was thinking of getting you a gag for your lies, but that won't be necessary. Right, bunny? Because you're such a good girl" he cocked an eyebrow at you.

Something inside you stirred, awakening every nerve in your body. You liked it when he spoke to you, he knew that. But feeling pleased after being called good for being compliant came almost as a surprise to you.

Your reaction must have been really evident in your eyes, because Joshua's smile grew broader, with an air of cheekiness.

Joshua sat back into his knees, hooking his fingers on the last piece of clothing, sliding your panties down your legs and throwing them to the side.

"Spread your legs for me, princess," he slotted himself between your thighs when you did what he asked not a second later. "That's it, baby," he whispered before dipping his tongue between your folds, without much warning.

You screwed your eyes shut, biting your lip as hard as you could to avoid running your mouth about how good it felt to have his tongue giving broad strokes against your core.

Joshua ate you out hungrily, almost as if he were trying to rip an orgasm out of you to get you to break his no talking rule. You got a sense that he was testing how far you could go without uttering a word.

You heard him humming in approval when he rendered you utterly languid, moaning and whimpering out in pure bliss. His tongue ran all over your pussy lips, placing soft kisses before laving at your core, drinking your sweet arousal avidly.

The squelching sounds caused by his mouth pressed against your core, plus the moans and cries that it elicited from you flooded the room—until the noise from squeaking bed under your trembling body joined in, and the handcuffs rattling against your bed posts as you came on his mouth.

Gasping embarrassingly for air, you blinked and found his head buried between your thighs. You felt his lips press soft kisses on your mound.

"Did you just cum?" he asked when you were left utterly breathless, and your body went limp on your bed covers.

You nodded weakly, your chest heaving.

"Fuck, baby. You're being so good," he gasped, his smile broadening. "I don't think I'll be able to stay away from you."

Your heart lurched, hurting so bad that you closed your eyes to his beautiful face.

When you opened your eyes, you caught a sight of him moving back from your body, and your eyes unavoidably fell off his hard length pressed against the tight fabric of his black underwear. A shiver ran down your spine when he got rid of the last piece of his clothing and you saw his hard cock practically spring out of his briefs and slap his tummy softly, the reddened tip glistening wet in precum.

Then you followed his hand that reached for the strip of condoms that were on your nightstand. He grabbed one and opened it carefully, and slid the material down his thick cock, a hand making sure the latex was down to his hilt.

Your walls fluttered at the sight of him and you almost wanted to have one hand free to slap yourself. Not even your heart could be at ease with his beauty, but your pussy went crazy about him too.

Joshua caught sight of you biting your lower lip aloofly, reveling at the sight of him completely naked before you. He showed you an amused smile, but for once he didn't tease you about your very evident attraction to him.

"Ready, princess?" he asked, when he placed his body between your thighs.

Missionary? You wanted to tease. But you just nodded at him.

He grabbed his cock with one hand, guiding it to your core to ease himself inside your tight walls. Your legs twitched at his sides at the stinging sensation of having his length pushing your walls open with little to no prep.

"You're so fucking tight, baby," he moaned once he bottomed out and started pulling out slowly. "Almost as if I didn't fuck you last night."

You moaned and squirmed when Joshua pushed his cock on you again, pulling out and then sinking in again.

"You're okay there?" he asked, bumping the tip of your nose with his.

You nodded silently.

His face was so close to yours that you felt his breath landing on your skin—it was then when you realized that he's never kissed you while having sex with you.

Your eyes were lost on his plump lips, so absentmindedly that you didn't notice that he was looking at you.

"Do you want to kiss me, sweetheart?" he asked softly, his hips thrusting against yours tortuously slow.

You nodded.

One corner of his mouth twitched slightly before pressing his lips on yours a couple of times before sinking into a slow, passionate kiss that made him moan into your mouth.

You could've melted into his lips. A sweet moan in pure delight was muffled by Joshua's mouth when you dragged your tongue over his lower lip and met his tongue with your own, that seemingly made him lose control, his hips buckling wildly.

Then he broke away from your lips with a strangled groan, retracting his chest from yours completely. In one sudden movement, he hoisted your legs up, leaning his body towards you so that your thighs were pressed against your chest—trapped between you and him.

If he seemed collected a minute before, Joshua was the total opposite when his hips started to slam against you again, dragging his cock in and out your walls aimlessly. He screwed his eyes shut for a moment.

"Fuck," he muttered in between his teeth.

The almost brutal ache to touch him robbed the air from you, you ached to feel his face in your hands, to caress his skin. You wanted to make him feel good in the same way he did for you, you wanted to please him.

"Are you there, baby?" he asked, noticing you deep in wonder, looking at him with mesmerized eyes.

You only nodded with your head, committed to his rule.

The second orgasm drew near, sizzling under your skin, his cock buried so deep in your walls that after a few thrusts, you were mewling desperately, uttering wordless pleas for release.

You thought you sounded pathetic, dumb. Desperately pleading for your sweet release without being allowed to speak a single word.

Deep down, you knew you were growing an attachment to... whatever this was: the way your body responded to him, the pleasure you got from complying with his games, you knew you wanted more. Joshua was not intoxicating, you were wrong about that, he was addictive.

Tears brimmed in your eyes when Joshua practically rammed his hips against you, fucking you so hard into your bed that your eyes rolled back, the last thing you saw was the pair of handcuffs rattling around the rails of your bed.   

You moaned loudly, back stirring on your bed, your fingers curling into fists so hard your fingernails dug into your palms. The tears ran down your temples as your second orgasm hit you just as hard as the one before it.

"That's it baby," he cooed, sounding pleased. "You're taking it so well," his voice was a mere whisper, you almost didn't catch his words over your loud whimpers and the sound of his skin slapping against yours.

When you opened your eyes again, his brow was furrowed, his eyelids fluttering close. He bit his lower lip, muffling a raspy groan as his thrusts became sloppy, ramming his cock to the hilt inside your walls a few times as he came.

Joshua eased your shaking legs back to your bed, then he retracted his hips from yours, slowly pulling out of your oversensitive core. In a matter of seconds, he was grabbing the key to release your wrists from the fuzzy cuffs.

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

As he worked to get your hands free, his head was hovering above yours. You looked at his dark eyes, his chapped lips, the furrowed brow in weariness when you wouldn't come up with a verbal response.

"'m good," you replied with a hoarse voice.

Though the handcuffs were padded with fuzzy fabric, your wrists were sore from the struggle. With a sigh of relief you let your arms rest at your sides, feeling the tiredness from being stuck in the same position for minutes.

"Hold on, let me clean up and I'll be right back, okay?" he muttered, planting one kiss on your forehead before leaving the room.

When he returned some minutes later, he had grabbed a glass of water for you. "Drink up."

You sat up weakly, your arms and legs felt shaky and weak from the demanding position you were for minutes that you could barely support yourself.

Joshua examined you with his curious eyes as you drank the glass of water.

"Thank you, Shua," you smiled at him.

He sat beside you on the bed. "Sure you're okay?"

You nodded, leaving the empty glass on your nightstand before slumping down on your pillows.

"Cuddle with me," you mumbled shyly.

Joshua complied silently, crawling on your bed to lie down by your side. He propped his head on his elbow, as his other arm circled you by your waist.

Trying to savor your last night with him, you closed your eyes as soon as you felt his warmth against your back. You almost let yourself pretend that this wasn't your second to last night with him. 

"Talk to me, bunny," he whispered after a brief moment of silence.

"What do you want me to say?" you mumbled, bewildered at the sudden command.

"Just tell me what you're thinking, please," you looked at him, his curious eyes scrutinizing your face. "You're not here."

You frowned. "I'm here, Joshua," you replied slowly.

He shook his head. "I know you're overthinking again."

You scoffed loudly. "Oh, yeah? And you know that how exactly?"

"Don't do that," his hand tapped your tummy gently.

"Do what?"

He paused for a brief moment, as if searching for the right words to say. "Deflect. You're deflecting," he muttered.

"So what if I am?" you replied bitterly, turning on your bed so you were fully facing him.

What were you supposed to say? You weren't even sure how you felt exactly, because you knew you were falling for the idea of him like this, holding you close to him. How could you translate that into words? He didn't believe you anyway.

"You know I'm not really angry with you, right?" he asked, maybe thinking that was the reason you were quiet.

"I know," you reassured him. "I really am sorry, Joshua."

You gave him a sincere look, Joshua sighed softly under a smile. "Don't worry, princess. I know," he pressed his hand flatly on your back. "I just wish you could tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me," you laughed at his sincere worry. "I'm okay, Joshua."

"Mmkay," he muttered, setting the matter aside reluctantly.

You scooted closer to him on the bed, nuzzling to the warmth of his body.

"Are you cold?" he asked, noticing when you exhaled, pleased to have his warmth on your skin. "We can get under the covers if you want."

"This is okay," you replied.

Joshua locked eyes with you for a second and you averted your gaze, looking down at your bodies on your bed.

"We never got to do your list," he smiled slightly.

You returned the smile meekly. "I think you surpassed whatever idea I had in mind," you confessed.

"Oh, really?" he cocked an eyebrow. "Will I get to see what you wrote?"

You frowned, realizing that you never got around to that part of the subject with him. "Of course, if you want," you blinked.

He giggled. "Am I allowed to read your unedited manuscript?"

"I mean, the sex scenes are only possible because of you. It would be rude of me to gatekeep it from you," you pointed with a flush.

Joshua let out a breathy laugh. "Did I make it to the acknowledgements part?"

"Stop it," you laughed.

"'Special thanks to my neighbor Joshua,'" he muttered in an imitation of your voice, which sounded really far off.

"It's not an acceptance speech," you said with a scoff.

"I better see my name when I get to that part of the book," he warned with a feigned seriousness that was replaced by a small smile.

"Or what?" you quipped. "When the book is out you won't be able to punish me," you smiled confidently.

"I can do that now," he shrugged. "And tomorrow."

You rolled your eyes, unsatisfied with his answer. You half expected him to tell you that he wanted to keep going with whatever this was.

"I haven't gotten to write the acknowledgements part," you told him, trying to move the conversation. "First the manu needs to go under revision again, then if there's anything that needs to get sorted in editing and then..."

Joshua had his eyes fixated on your face, he was looking at you but his mind seemed entirely elsewhere.

"What?" you blurted.

"Nothing I was just..." he shook his head. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"You weren't paying attention," you scolded with a whine.

He easily captured the hand you used to try and slap his shoulder. "Sorry, sorry," he chuckled.

"Am I boring you, Joshua?" you asked, trying to sound offended but when his high pitched giggle wasn't helping.

"No, you're not—stop it," he captured your hand again.

You ceased your futile attacks. "What were you thinking about?"

He was still lying on his side, head propped up in his hand by the help of his elbow. You saw his face relax and lose his smile.

"Last night, when we were in the shower, you said that you didn't care enough about your exes to stay for aftercare," his eyes studied your face for any reaction. "Can I ask why?"

You were taken aback by his question, why was he thinking of that moment precisely? But you saw why he would be intrigued by your comment.

"It wasn't that serious," you shrugged. "I never saw it as something I needed from my ex partners, nor something I even wanted."

He smiled with a small cough. "And what makes me different? Why do you want me to stay every time?"

Your heart clenched tightly. "Why do you ask?"

"You got angry at me because I left this morning," he explained. "What you're telling me now doesn't add up with your hissy fit from earlier."

"I did not have a hissy fit!" you sulked with a pout.

He smiled sweetly at you. "Yes you did, princess."

You rolled your eyes but decided not to argue any further, although you knew that he partly was right, though he didn't know what took you to react to such extremes. 

"Answer me," he urged, his voice low but not commanding. Almost as though he was more impatient to know.

"I like being with you, Joshua," you replied with an obvious tone. "You're not entirely unbearable to be around."

Joshua laughed, his smile pushing his eyes into two crescent moons. "Ditto," he replied.

The jab in your heart was like nothing you had ever felt before. It pushed you to suspect that maybe you were going crazy, that maybe you had a disease that you didn't know about and that only presented itself every time you saw him. It robbed you of the air in your lungs, made you crave something that only you could get from him.

How can you ever tell him that? That was never part of your original deal with him. It wasn't fair—he said it himself, he felt used by you. Although he wasn't complaining, how can you tell him that you were falling in love? It just didn't feel fair.

"What happened here?" you asked, tracing a line along his hip bones, where he had two faint brown bruises.

"You have them too," he muttered, placing his hand on your glute lightly. "They're from last night."

"Oh," you flushed, twisting to see where his hand was pointing to, where you could notice a small bruise on your glute. "I didn't notice that. Sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," he sighed with a smile.

"I kind of like it," you confessed sheepishly.

"I know," he nodded to your chest covered in hickeys, he used his pointer finger and caressed ever so slightly over your marked skin connecting lines between each hickey.

You let out a weak laugh that slowly grew louder when the tip of his finger reached close to the side of one of your breasts, closing in toward your armpit and your instinct threw you back from his touch, cringing away with laughter.

Joshua responded to your laugh with his own, but instead of leaving it to rest he reached out toward you with his hand, threatening with more tickles.

"Stop," you pleaded, laughing only from seeing his hand closing in toward you.

"I'm not even touching you," he replied with an adorable chuckle.

You slapped his hand away but that only made him laugh harder.

"Please," you whispered, gasping for air as his finger made it to your collarbones again.

"Okay, okay," he replied and sighed heavily with a smile still on his face.

The brief exchange had left your body tingling, and rapidly growing hot. Joshua was looking at you expectantly, almost as if he could hear your thoughts.

Your hand slid to his nape at the same moment he leaned closer in the bed to kiss you fervently. His tongue sliding on your mouth to find yours with a low groan.

The kiss was ardent in passion, almost as if his lips were locking yours with the need to melt into them. It almost hurt you to wonder that he probably meant what he said before: he would miss this.

He placed a hand flatly on your hip, your body responded by tingling in excitement when his thumb caressed your skin lightly as he kissed you hungrily.

"Joshua?" you mumbled when you broke the kiss suddenly.

"Mm?" he hummed with a gentle nuzzle of the tip of his nose on yours.

"I don't want this to stop," you blurted, pulling back on your pillows to search his eyes.

You held your breath. All your anxieties from the days of avoiding Joshua lied in that question. Even though you knew you weren't helping your bad case of infatuation with him, you were willing—but probably shouldn't—take what you could from what he gave you.

"We don't have to stop," he replied, locking his lips with yours briefly. "I don't want to either."

You kissed him fervently, trying to express all your emotions into one kiss, which he responded with a low moan in your mouth. So infatuated that you didn't stop and think what this would mean to you—if Joshua didn't reciprocate your feelings you'd be in a messy, ugly situation. All products of your own making.

This is, obviously, only possible if you let him know the way you really feel about him.

Oh well, you might as well make sure he doesn't know it yet.

✮ a/n: heyyoooo. thank you to everyone that interacted with part 1 and 2! tysm i really appreciate ya'll. i apologise if there's any dumb mistakes, i've tried to proofread this but i'm just so excited for you to read it

if you liked this part pls pls pls let me know i'd appreciate a like, a comment, rb it ◕⩊◕

part 4!!

also join my taglist!

[annbourbon]

9 People you wanna Know Better:

Thanks for the tag @kpchrs

╥﹏╥

I disappeared for a while~ but I'm back!!! Sorry to leave this hanging on for so long.

No pressure tags: @icedart21 @ginatrerotola @smol-grey-tea @yooseven-heaven @theoddlydrawnmuffins @theliteraryarchitect @cherrychipheart @bl00000g @playlistbyjo @mirusuchanne

(i would mention you too @kpchrs but lol you're already here~, although I do want to get to know you better♡)

Three ships: This took me some time lol but besides Spuffy which I'm not even gonna mention because it's obvious by now:

I guess it's Kisten Phelps x Rachel Morgan (The Hollows), Anna x Hao (Shaman King) and Yeon-Joo x Kang Chul (W: Two Worlds)

I added some honorable mentions to: Rachel Morgan x Trent Kalamack (i'm still unsure about this lol but i do love them because it wasn't love at first sight but it progressed slowly~), Inuyasha x Kagome (Inuyasha) and Tomoe x Nanami (Kamisama Kiss)

First Ship: lol it's so difficult but I guess the one that made me go down really badly was Hao x Anna (Shaman King) which was the reason I started to write fanfics, and the reason I decided to become a fashion designer (still working on this), and basically the reason I'm most of the person I'm right now~

Also I would add Kisten x Rachel because this ship was the one that made me love jazz and blues... and cured my depression in so many ways it made me go back to write and to start learning languages, and many other things. I didn't even think that was possible. Rachel Morgan is kind of... well is a redhead version of me lol we have a lot of things in common tbh~ even the way she acts it's 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣😭 yes, that's me. I wish I could say it's getting better and I'm less impulsive but sometimes I crave chaos I guess? Dunno~

Last Song: You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift (TV)

Last Movie: I've been into series lately but the kast movie I saw was, A Man Called Otto (I loved it and I'm gonna make a brief review on it soon~ it was on HBO Max but it's not anymore~ if you can catch it, watch it. You'll never regret it. It's very sweet♡)

Currently Watching: True Blood. Yeah~ I haven't finished yet lol mid season 5 of True Blood, watching Law School again~, just finished with Spinning Out series like yesterday~, Mr. Queen. Yes. Still watching. I'm on episode 18 so I'll be finishing this ine pretty quickly. Went back to Crash Landing On You because it's the thing that makes me swoon lol.... add Gossip Girl because it's good noise to work with lolol

Stopped Hotel Del Luna on E8. And My Demon by episode 10 rn.

Watching House (S3E17) S.W.A.T. (S.1.Ep7), Ready set love ep.2, True Beauty S1E13, Gilmore Girls S6E2 (can you believe I still have to finish watching it first time here?), 2 Broke Girls S1E17, Supernatural S13E14,

Watching Parasite (E2), Ouran Host Club again~ E10, and I'm definitely actively watching Angel's Last Mission: Love.... I might be forgetting more of these but y'all have my lists here~ in case you're curious or want some recs.

Currently Reading: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn,

Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft, and Grimm's Fairytales (ADHD is real lol) I cannot focus on just one book cause I get distracted and easily bored by reading these books... although gotta be honest, my main issue is that I'm doing this as part of my studies, which makes my ADHD worsen.

I need these books, and while I'm reading I'm also taking notes~~~ and I'm also thinking on many ways to quote and use these on the videos I'm working rn... and I'm currently working on at least 6 videos, and my future streaming... sooooooo yeah lol my ADHD is crazy and I need to read several things at the same time rn.

Currently Eating: Nothing

Currently Craving: E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. LOL

Did I mentioned i'm gonna get some tests tomorrow? So I'm in middle of my fasting~~ and it's one of those things, like, you know when you are fasting all by yourself because you want to lose some pounds, it's easier than when doctors say you're not allowed to eat. You keep craving on everything. Actually I wasn't that hungry earlier on. Until it was already past the hour of eating LOL i'm kinda starving and craving everything~ tomorrow is gonna be so annoying cause I have a lot of tests done.

The only fun part is to watch the process. I keep freaking out everyone because I tend to watch while they poke me to draw blood. But it's fun~~ \\^♡^//

god lol idk if someone is gonna actually read this lololol but if you made it~ thx for reading all that♡

Yeah~~~ I'm that weird I guess? LOL sorry

BTW~ I swear idk what's happening to me but I'm getting insanely obsessed with Eric Northman right now TT like, I can't even~ I hsd to stop watching True Blood;; and even now it's like, he's in my system. Been so obsessed I keep dreaming about him day and night, it's getting weird lol especially because he's not even my type TT like wtf?

9 People You Wanna Know Better

Thanks for the tag, @justsolas! Will be around for your BTVS watching still lol

I'm no pressure tagging: @annbourbon @burntblueberrywaffles @cha-cha-arts @weer02 @varlysca @olya-roo @robinplume @datcrazyanniegurl @tumblingghosts

Three ships: Spuffy, Hellcheer, and Snowbaird.

First ship: No idea. It's either Naruto x Sakura (Naruto) or Tappei x Miiko (Kocchimuite Miiko (lol do I reveal my location by revealing I know that manga)). But the ship I will count as the real first is Ichigo x Rukia (Bleach), because above two are the kid me testing the waters (of fandom and shipping) and not actually shipping them.

Last song: Taylor Swift's Guilty as Sin?

Last movie: Uh...what was it... Oh. It's a South Korean film called Hijack 1971. A good one. It's about a commercial pilot whose plane got hijacked and forced to go to North Korea. I knew about it happening but didn't know it wasn't a one time thing.

Currently reading: My...Mandarin textbook lol The last novel I tried reading was a Fear Street one.

Currently watching: I'm stopping right now in the middle of S4, but Angel the Series.

Currently eating: Nothing but the black ice of my soul.

Currently craving: A big bowl of fruit slices 😭 By big I mean HUGE. And hanging out in a classy café. Doing nothing in particular.

[hearts-hunger]

no strings attached — part five

Read on AO3 | Masterlist | Series Playlist ♫

⮡ part one | part two | part three | part four

Series Summary: The destination wedding of a high school friend brings you and Jake together for the first time since graduation. Can you make it though a long weekend without killing each other, or worse, falling head over heels in love?

Chapter Summary: Jake takes you back to your cabin.

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x Reader [+ Sam x Danny, Josh x Baby] | Genre: fluff, smut (non-graphic, but minors begone) | Word Count: 2.4k | Chapter Warnings: tender, non-graphic smut (oral [f receiving], piv, unprotected)

A/N: The last chapter of Jake and Sparrow's cabin fic is finally here! Thank you so much for your patience, and I hope it's worth the wait. I can't wait to write more for these two lovebirds, but for now, I hope you love this chapter! ♡

You left the reception arm in arm, both of you giggling like lovesick teenagers as you walked back to your cabin. It reminded you of the first time you’d kissed, only this time you weren’t afraid of how much you loved him; he loved you too, and you knew it like you knew your own name. 

Jake was funny when he was tipsy — he always had been, letting alcohol free his effortless, slightly dorky humor from the confines of his self-consciousness, and you laughed until your sides hurt and leaned on him to keep you steady.

“Wait, I've got an idea,” you said, detangling yourself from him long enough to scoop up a handful of snow. He watched you with a mix of wariness and amusement, his body language on the defensive even as he grinned at you.

“A snowball fight?” he asked. “Do you really — ?”

He cut himself off when the snowball pelted his shoulder, leaving a fine dusting on the dark fabric of his suit. He gave you a wicked grin.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

You played in the snow until neither of you could feel your hands, ducking behind trees, laughing and hollering until you were sure you’d get kicked out of the resort. You couldn't bring yourself to care, not when Jake was grinning like a little kid, his cheeks flushed with cold and happiness. You were so distracted by how much he was enjoying himself that you didn’t pay attention to the snowball in his hands, and you were caught unawares when he threw it at you.

You stopped cold, literally, when it hit you square in the face.

“Oh! Sparrow!”

You heard the laugh in Jake’s voice as you wiped your face, and your hands were quickly replaced with his as he brushed the snow from your cheeks.

“Sorry, baby,” he said, unable to keep from smiling. “Didn’t mean to hit you in the face. Are you alright?”

You laughed. “Yes, I'm alright,” you said. “I’m freezing, though.”

“Aw, honey, your teeth are chattering.” He gave you a sympathetic smile and bundled you in a warm bear hug. “I’m sorry. Is this a little better?”

You snuggled against him and buried your face against his chest. “Better.”

He ran his hands quickly up and down your arms to generate some warmth. “Let’s get you inside before you catch your death. I totally won, though.”

You laughed and stuck close to him, letting him lead you the rest of the way down the snowy path to your cabin. He helped you out of your coat when you got inside and put a blanket over your shoulders before he turned on the fireplace and went to run a bath.

“Bath’s ready, sweetheart.” He helped you untangle from your blanket cape. “Do you want anything else? Can I set out your pajamas for you?”

You smiled at his thoughtfulness and the innocence of his help. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me naked after?” you teased. 

He blushed, and it was so charming that you kissed his cheek.

“If, I mean, if you — ” His words were shy, jumbled up in nervousness and want. “If you want to be, sure.”

You gave a soft laugh and helped him shrug out of his suit jacket. “Come in the bath with me, Jakey.”

In the soft, warm light of the fire, he let you undress him; he was beautiful, all lithe and slim-muscled, strong and yet soft, his face rosy and showing so much desire that you thought you could get drunk on it. In his boxers, he unzipped your dress and let it fall to the floor; he breathed “I love you” over and over as he kissed all down your skin and left the rest of your clothes in a pile by the bed.

When you were both in the bath, him on one side and you on the other, you washed each other’s hair and talked like it was the most natural thing in the world to be so vulnerable and intimate with each other. He gave himself a beard of bubbles and did that British accent he'd perfected in high school, making you dissolve in giggles, smiling at you like you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“Come here,” you said affectionately, cupping water in your hands and gently washing the bubbles from his face. 

“You’re telling me you don’t like Oliver Reed, then?” he asked, posh and playfully affronted.

You smiled and kissed him. “Sure I do. I just like my Jakey better.”

He beamed at you. “I like when you call me that, sparrow. You did that night at the bonfire, when you gave me my bracelet, and I always wanted you to do it again.”

“You don’t think it’s silly?”

He chuckled. “No, I think it's cute.” He touched his hand to your cheek. “I think you're cute.”

You leaned into his touch and kissed his palm, then trailed kisses down his wrist to the scar on his arm.

“Does it ever hurt you, still?” you asked.

“Sometimes,” he said. “When it’s cold out.” He traced his fingers over the very top of your cheekbone, close to your ear. “You still have that scar from the swordfight, don’t you?”

You gave a soft laugh, remembering the idiotic, probably drunken swordfight you and the twins had gotten into with half-broken branches one summer night. Jake had accidentally caught you with his branch and cut your cheek, and he’d taken you inside and fussed over you and doctored you up.

“First the branch, now the snowball,” you said ruefully. “What do you have against my face, Kiszka?”

He laughed. “Not a thing. I think it’s very pretty. Especially when you blush.”

He was rewarded with a flush of heat across your cheeks; he chuckled and kissed you, peppering your nose and cheeks with little kisses, telling you how much he loved you.

When the water got colder, he helped you out and made sure you were warm and dry before he led you to bed. For all his apparent bashfulness before, he was completely in his element as he got you comfortable; you lay back on the pillows as his loving, desirous gaze traveled over you. He brushed his hair behind his ear but left a loose curl against his cheek.

“My little sparrow,” he said gently. “May I touch you?”

Your breath caught in your chest. “Please.”

His big hands wandered over you, drawing out sensations you didn't even know you could have, making you feel comfortable and beautiful in your body as he worshipped you. He was so gentle; you’d never been treated with such care before, and despite the vulnerability you had with each other, you’d never felt as safe as you did with him.

When he asked to taste you, every coherent thought left your head. You'd never been asked such a thing before, and you almost didn’t know how to respond.

“Are... are you sure?”

He cracked a smile. “Yes, I’m sure. I asked, didn’t I?”

You didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you,” you said honestly.

His brow crinkled a little in surprise.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said. He gently swept his knuckles over your cheek. “It’s a privilege to pleasure you, sparrow. I should be thanking you.”

You blushed vividly, and he gave a soft laugh and kissed your cheek.

“You're so sweet, sparrow,” he said. “I’d be honored if you let me, but we don't have to if you don't want to.”

“No, I — I want to,” you said, a little too quickly, and you were embarrassed at the neediness in your voice.

He kissed you deeply and soothed your bashfulness, showing you he was just as eager. 

“I like it when you tell me what you want, sweetheart. Keep telling me.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as he kissed down your body, lower, lower, and you gave an embarrassingly loud gasp when he kissed your heat.

“There's a good girl,” he said, his voice deep with desire. “Keep singing for me, sparrow.”

He took his time, drawing you out with unmatched skill and deep tenderness, until you were calling his name like a prayer under him. He pressed his hands to your hips and kept at you until you came again, leaving you breathless and lightheaded with desire.

“God, Jake,” you said, bringing him up to kiss you. “I’ve never — that was — ” You pulled him closer to you. “Thank you.”

His smile was almost a smirk. “My pleasure, sweetheart.”

He was slow and gentle as he eased into you, filling you until you thought you might break with the flood of heat and pleasure. 

“Good girl,” he praised, steadying you when you were joined. “Does this feel okay?”

You nodded. More than the pleasure of him filling you was the trust you felt with him, the intimacy of your closeness and tenderness with each other. 

“Go — go slow, please.”

“Of course,” he said gently. He kissed you. “You’re so beautiful, sparrow. I love you.”

He read your cues and listened to what you asked for, never requesting anything for himself, thinking only of your pleasure. You came again with him inside you, and the groan that tumbled out of him was the prettiest sound you'd ever heard.

“Is it good?” you asked, almost like an instinct. 

“You're wonderful, sparrow,” he said, kissing you hungrily. “Beautiful and perfect and wonderful.”

You beamed under his praise and basked in the feeling of his pleasure, holding him close and telling him how much you loved him when he came with a shuddering, heart-rending sigh. You lay together afterwards, still joined, warm and tired and so in love with each other.

“I love you,” he said, softly, against your collarbone.

You traced your fingers over the elegant lines of his face. “I love you too, Jake. I wish I'd been brave enough to say it sooner.”

He kissed your shoulder and rose, and for a moment, you felt a sting of rejection and panic, the memory of every other time a man had left your bed without a word coming back to wound you. When he returned with a washcloth, he looked dismayed at what you hadn’t hidden as well as you hoped.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

You shook your head. “Nothing. It's silly.”

He started to clean you up, and his gentle ministrations completely dissolved any anxiety you had. This was a man who loved you and cared for you, and it was a precious, healing thing to be so loved.

“Just thought you might be more comfortable cleaned up a little,” he said, setting the washcloth aside and laying beside you again. He propped himself up on his elbow and studied your face. “I’m not gonna leave you, sparrow. I promise.”

You kissed him. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said. He brushed your hair back. “Thank you for trusting me, even if guys before haven't treated you like you deserved.”

You pressed closer to him. You knew how much it had taken for him to trust you with his heart, and you would cherish and honor that trust as long as you lived.

“Thank you for trusting me too, Jake.” You touched his cheek. “I won't ever hurt you, love. I promise.”

You lay together for a little while, enjoying each other’s closeness and the intimacy of your shared bed. He made you laugh with dumb jokes and held you while he sang to you, that song he’d been working on when you were kids that you always hoped had been for you.

“Electric gold out love with tender care... she's a sparrow of the dawn, our love is born.”

After a while, the sound of more raucous, off-key singing came from outside your door. Both of your dressed in warm clothes when a knock sounded on the door, and you smiled when you heard Jake mutter something about his “bone-headed brothers”.

“We’ve come a-caroling,” Josh said when you opened the door, he and his girlfriend leaning heavily on each other, flush and drunk and smiley. Danny kept Sam steady as well as he could, looking a little like a tree about to topple at any minute, both of them giving you big grins.

“We figured you’d be done, maybe," Sam said. He checked a watch he didn't have on. “You've been at it for... a while.”

Jake couldn’t help a grudging smile. “You’re all idiots, you know that?”

“I told them not to interrupt you,” Josh's girlfriend said, but she looked like she was enjoying the interruption all the same. 

“So, are you official now?” Josh asked. “Or what?”

Before you could say anything, Jake dipped you low and gave you a breath-stealing kiss in front of everybody. They cheered and wolf-whistled, and you blushed as you smiled up at Jake.

“Oh, we’re official all right,” Jake said, only for you. “I’m gonna marry this girl.”

That was met with excitement and a swoony little “oh!” from Josh's girlfriend, but it was all lost on you as you looked into Jake's eyes and saw nothing but sincerity and love.

“It's about time,” you said with a teasing smile.

He grinned and pulled you close to kiss you again.

“Alright, lovebirds,” Danny said affectionately. “You wanna come walk with us? We’re going caroling.”

“So I've gathered,” Jake said. He looked to you. “You want to go?”

You smiled. “Sure, what the hell.”

That earned another round of cheers from your tipsy entourage, and you and Jake got your boots and jackets on to join them. All six of you crunched through the snow, couples snuggled close but bumping into each other, singing and laughing and raising all kinds of hell in the cold, dark, beautiful night.

It started to snow, and you liked the way the snowflakes landed on Jake’s curls and the shoulders of his soft sweater. He was your home, and you were so thankful you'd finally found your way back to each other.

“You know what, sparrow?”

You looked up at him and smiled. “Tell me.”

He grinned. “This whole thing is really stupid and cold, but... I kinda want to do this for the rest of our lives.”

You kissed him, and he kissed you back with such eagerness that it made you forget all about the cold.

“I kinda want to do this for the rest of our lives too.”

series taglist: @dannythedog @theweightofjake

gvf taglist: @gvfrry @ohhey1293 @the-chaotic-cow @mountain-in-springtime @xserenax-13 @stardustjtk @brooke-gvf @weightofdreams-gvf  @serendipiti  @jakeydoesit  @gretasmokerising @loofypoofy @hayley1623 @doodle417 @finestoflines @brokenbellz @bowievanfleet @s0livagant @trplshotofdopamine @strugglingtodoshit @deadbeat-z @s-u-t @kay-jordan @gretavanfleas @jakeyboiiiiiii @gretavansteph @gretavanbitches @myownparadise96 @luverleaver @weightofdreamz @greatervanfleet @maedesculpaeusoubi @jakekiszkasbestie @pineapple-photographer @baguettejuliette @alexxavicry @levi-wants-ur-bones  @carlybubs @cowboysamkiszka 

jake taglist: @ohhey1293

forever taglist: @punkgeekcryptid

sorry if tumblr didn’t tag you — it’s stupid sometimes. but i’m real thankful for you, sweet peaches! and if you’re a new bestie and would like to be added to my taglist, check out the form right here!

[lengthofropes]

Every month of 2021 ♡

post your favorite or most popular post from each month this year <3 (it’s okay to skip months!)

I was tagged by @becauseofthebowties​, @deanncastiel​ and @inacatastrophicmind thank you so much for tagging me in this!! <333

I was trying to avoid making any kind of “year review” posts at any costs but here we are...😂 and I though I'm just gonna scroll quickly but... okay I made 493 gifsets last year (this number...scares me, tbh!!!) how am I supposed to pick 12?:))) so yeah. I'm gonna break a rules here a little haha!

1. January. Favourite one: Dean’s b-day set. Remember when you all were sending me the moments you fell in love with this character? yeah, me too💗. So much love in this one! Most popular one: spn lgbt compilation (yeah! I remembered this all by myself, and making took me 13 hours haha!)

2. February. Most popular one: this cas in 10.09 set (adore the colors here!). Favourite one: my favorite poem in my native language (+my translation)

3. March. Most popular one: apparently, I'm a masocist from 2012 cause it’s Dean/Rose Tyler parallels set 

Favourite one:  I've started correct quotes series in March, and the first set is 🔥🔥🔥

4. April. Most popular one: “Dean has no taste, clearly” 🤝 “Dude, you can do better” cause yeah... this is gold!!!  Favourite one: this poem of mine set. idk i’m SO weak for sun/moon comparisons..... Honorable mentions for dean being manhandled set, dean’s lips set, and yes, dumbass. we. set 😇

5. May. Most popular one:  Speight 15.18 commentary set. Favourite one: spn + martial arts set because yeaaaahhh!!! I love bjj!!! and this 4.01/15.18 parallels one too! cause it’s... yeah it hurst in a perfect way.

6. June. Most popular one: dean sleeping set. Favourite one:  mary and john correct quotes prequels set. i’m so proud with how good I did with Mary’s words and expressions yeahhh!!!  Honourable mentions: dean in red shirts set, dean’s hands set to one of my fics, and Crowley’s 12.23 deleted speech set.

7. July. oh, I guess it’s when my semi hiatus started? Most popular one: angry dean from 13.03 set. Favourite one: immortals fob for jess acklesology set.  8. August. yeah, still on hiatus and posting stuff from my drafts. but misha’s reaction on deancas 100k fics made me come back 😂. Most popular one: I like being on top set. Favourite one:  dean reactions to megstiel moments set. 9. September. Most popular one: dean’s tiddies set cause yeah, real and perky! Favourite one: lazarus rising set. 10. October. Most popular one: tfw+tfw 2.0 set (aaaah my fav orange psd here!😍). Favourite one: this poem for rambleoncas’ celebration set. 11. November. Ok, there were pretty dope despair nov 5 parallels set,  rupture/despair parallels set

and fav so far bi young dean studies set...... BUT!!! the best ever thing I created tor this fandom (ngl, this is my favourite creation ever and the most work and the most love...!!)

is... FOUR LETTER WORD set. this.... is.... mindblowing ok?😮😮😮  

12. December.  Most popular one: and Tumblr blocked tags edit cause yeah, this is really funny:))) Favourite one:  the  snow set for jess acklesology’s celebration. No, you don’t understand.... I found the perfect real show footages (YES THESE ARE NOT just some FILTERS!!!) and spend HOURS to blend it with gifs, for it to look as natural as possible. I mean... have you noticed how snowflakes appear grey against the light, and then, falling down, look white against the dark background????? Yeas, just so you know! THIS IS MY MAGIC OK??? BYE!!!:)))

ok so that’s it! tysm for your attention! 💗 tagging: @mishacollinss​ @fromperdition​ @theedorksinlove​ @alivedean​ and @bebecas​ and anyone else who wants to to this!

[starchild--27]

Tag Game ✨️

thank you for tagging me @joon-rkive - i loved reading yours and i always enjoy doing these~ 😊💕

i tag: @heartcravings @kafkascupcake @cxsmicmyeon @byuns-coco @xiu-bee @ladyliliah - only if you guys want to of course ♡

What book are you currently reading?

She and Her Cat by Makoto Shinkai ♡

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

Everything Everywhere All At Once, like 10000%. this movie is so good. everyone go watch it if you can. 💫

What do you usually wear?

a t-shirt (plus a hoodie/flannel shirt if it's cold), a pair of jeans (two if it's cold), a pair of socks (two if it's cold), chucks (or boots if it's cold)

How tall are you?

~ 178cm / 5'10 but i'm slouching horribly xD

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

i am a Taurus (or so the birth chart says, i don't really see it tbh), aaaand my birthday is on Beltane, the Gaelic May Day festival. Or if we want to be political, Labour Day.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

irl usually by my name, only online people and sometimes my mom call me by my childhood nickname (which i find really cute btw ^^). and my sister has her own set of nicknames for me xDD

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

i think to some extent i am the person all my younger selves wanted to be xD but career-wise not all. my childhood dream was to be a writer, only at 14 or 15 i started to think about my current course of study and also quickly dismissed the idea again back then xD

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

i'm not. and currently i have no real permanent crushes either, only the quick kind where i spend twenty minutes imagining a relationship with a stranger i've seen for like 3 seconds xD (but yeah speaking in terms of kpop, i have an everlasting crush on park chanyeol, today especially the one from the photoshoot that was teased today, and i have had it bad for han jisung from stray kids the past months too xD)

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

i'm good at.......language stuff (idk why this came to mind first but i have crap self-confidence so i can't really think about anything else); i'm bad at...i guess, being organized, keeping routines and getting things done efficiently, stuff like that. 😬

Dogs or cats?

both :c (but gun to my head, i'd say cat. because i have a cat.)

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

choking on brown sugar and sweetened milk / wrapped in a flannel shirt cause i hate silk / need a neurosurgeon to cut out my brain / need to take a deep breath, i'm not going insane (which, yes, technically is a verse. the first verse of my song brown sugar actually, and i really love how it turned out)

What’s something you would like to create content for?

ohh i think The Case Study of Vanitas, which is my favourite manga series (no i haven't seen the anime (yet?)), i really want to write a fanfic about Vanitas and Noé because no wayyy they don't kiss at night xDD

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

always obsessed with exo xD then again, i think Ocean Vuong still has a hard grip on me right now. i recently finished reading On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous and i am reading his poems every now and then and boy... i think that guy himself invented language

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

mmh... i think the fact my two bestied from school and i planned to meet at least twice and it never worked out - i met them separately, but i miss hanging out with my two favourite crackheads :/ (we'll probably meet over the last days of december tho, so...soon)

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

i dunno, it's not really "hidden" but i've baffled people with is before: i'm really fast at recognizing songs, probably because i know many songs that i don't particularly like listening to as well, i guess i just can memorize sounds quite well.

Are you religious?

i am agnostic, so i'm not strictly religious, i have always been really interested in religion tho. like as a kid i went to religion classes voluntarily despite noone in my family is religious.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

a different brain hahahah :') jkjk i guess what i (quite childishly) wish for most is everything to be alright again, life to be less shit, generally. that's probably a crap answer but the most honest one i can give right now.

[pellucid-constellations]

I posted 1,762 times in 2021

1282 posts created (73%)

480 posts reblogged (27%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.4 posts.

I added 2,277 tags in 2021

#asks - 1212 posts

#reblog reply - 298 posts

#undisclosed - 222 posts

#for the love of the game - 216 posts

#ask game - 90 posts

#bucky barnes x reader - 64 posts

#bucky barnes x you - 47 posts

#xsalemx - 44 posts

#bucky barnes x y/n - 43 posts

#bucky x reader - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 65 characters

#i love lumberjack bucky a little too much to make him forever sad

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Last updated: December 15th, 2021

Follow my library blog for notifications!: @pellucid-library​ 

✭ - fic with >1.5k notes 

♡ - my faves 

See the full post

2013 notes • Posted 2021-06-30 16:03:00 GMT

#4

The Things We Carry With Us

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: You were injured on a mission and didn’t tell anyone, leaving your already rocky relationship with Bucky crumbling. Was it really hate he harbored for you, or was it something else? 

Word count: 4k

Warnings: Enemies to lovers! Angst, Language, Cannon level violence, Injury

a/n: This is based on an anon request and also my submission for multi-stann's 1k writing event! I used the prompt “I can’t get the image out of my head.” Congrats on 1k, Mickey!! :)

Masterlist

See the full post

2337 notes • Posted 2021-08-07 02:19:18 GMT

#3

Undisclosed - Masterlist

Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either. 

Warnings: Beefy!bucky, angst, references to death/crime, injury, toxicity, eventual smut (minors dni, marked **), a bit of slow burn!!  

a/n: New chapters every Wednesday! You can follow my library blog @pellucid-library​​ for notifications. :) Excited to share!! 🤍🤎

Series playlist ⍋

See the full post

2394 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 16:00:02 GMT

#2

Voicemails to an Unmanned Inbox

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: When Bucky takes an argument a little too far, you take off. All he wants is for you to come back home. 

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: Heavy Angst 

a/n: I’m currently working on Flashing Lights part 2 and felt like I needed some angst in my life. So, enjoy the angst!!

Masterlist

The walk back to your shared room was excruciatingly quiet, the sound of Bucky’s angry footsteps the only thing reverberating against the halls of the compound. You jogged a little faster to keep up with him. 

“Bucky,” you tried, breath labored from your pace. “Bucky, just wait a sec. We can talk about this,” he ignored you, jaw set and mouth fixed into a frown. You let out a sigh and continued behind him, not looking forward to the discussion to come. 

You had just finished Bucky’s latest therapy session, the office across the compound. This week, his therapist had asked you to attend the session since you were such a major part of his life. Bucky had been hesitant to agree, but given that it was court mandated therapy, he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Your boyfriend’s current mood was brought on by your participation in said session. You hadn’t given up sensitive information or anything. His therapist just asked if Bucky had been waking up in the middle of the night and you said yes. That response had snowballed and Bucky was now set up with a sleep therapy appointment next Wednesday. 

You could tell immediately that he was upset about it. His hands balled up into fists atop his knees and his eyebrows shot up in silent disagreement. To be fair, he hadn’t told you beforehand if there was anything he wanted you to keep private. You didn’t think you would’ve been able to keep it a secret if he asked though; his nightmares were worse than ever before and he refused to get help for them. 

Bucky threw open the door to your room, stalking in and promptly taking a seat on the bed. You sheepishly followed in behind him, clicking the door shut. The air in the room was tense and awkward, like a pressing fog that forced you into silence. You fiddled with your hands as Bucky’s eyes made patterns in the ceiling. After waiting a beat, you tried to dispel the tension. 

“I know you’re angry,” you began, “But I think this is a good thing, Buck. You’ve been having such a hard time sleeping, you’re basically running on fumes. You can try the therapy and if it doesn’t work, no harm done,” he shifted his eyes down to you.

“No harm done, huh?” He sardonically replied. His tone confused you. 

“I mean, I think so? I know you don’t like therapy, but if they can somehow help you sleep, even just a little, then I think it’ll be worth it,” you tried to keep your tone optimistic, like a juxtaposition to his. 

He spent a while staring at you before he spoke, a near permanent crease in his brow. “How am I supposed to trust you?” His words sent you physically stepping back, confusion and hurt marring your face. 

“What?” Your voice was a somber whisper. 

“How am I supposed to trust you? You told her something private; something between us. And you—you treated me like a charity case,” he shot back. 

“Charity case?” You questioned, bewildered. “Bucky, she’s your therapist. She wants to help you, but she can’t do that if you never share anything with her. And I didn’t even want to tell her! It’s just that your nightmares were getting so bad, Buck. When you kept coming back from field missions all torn up because you were running on no sleep, I got scared.

“You kept getting hurt, and nothing was helping. I want you safe! I didn’t give her any specific details, just that you were having trouble sleeping and it was affecting you in the field.” 

“Oh, trust me, sweetheart. I know exactly what you said. Was sitting right there getting a front row seat to your pity parade,” his hands ran through his hair, frustratingly tugging at the strands. 

“It wasn’t like that, Bucky! I don’t pity you, I love you! I just want you safe and happy and healthy. If you would just listen—” 

“I did listen!” he cut you off, yelling now. “And all I heard was my girlfriend treating me like a child. Now every time you open your mouth, all I hear is that sympathy in your voice. 

“I’m a grown man, y/n. I’m perfectly capable of making my own damn decisions. So I think I’ll make the decision and ask you to get out,” you jerked your head back, the hurt on your face increasing tenfold. Your fingers felt numb as you dropped your hands to your sides. 

“If that’s what you really want.” 

“It is. Door’s over there,” his tone was final. You backed up slowly, trying to give him time to change his mind. He had never yelled at you like that before, and he certainly had never asked you to leave. Tears built up in your eyes as you made it to the door. 

“I’m, um, I’m really sorry, Bucky. I only wanted to help,” you didn’t wait for his response as you beelined it out of the room, desperate to hide your tears.

You didn’t know where you were going, but you knew you had to get out of the compound. The anger in Bucky’s voice was still sending shockwaves through your spine, and tears were still making heavy tracks down your face at the thought of him not trusting you. You had worked so hard to earn his trust when he first came to the compound, and now it seemed like that was all lost. 

The engine of your car roared to life in the garage, the photostrip of you and Bucky sitting in front of the speedometer mocking you. You let a few more tears slip before you clicked your seat belt into place and peeled out of the compound. His words played through your head as you decided on making the trek to the city. It would take about 3 hours to get there, but it's not like you had anywhere else to go. In your flurry to leave, you didn’t notice you left your phone sitting on the therapist’s desk.

See the full post

2598 notes • Posted 2021-07-15 04:41:36 GMT

#1

For the Love of the Game - Masterlist

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader 

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. 

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol/drinking, Mild language, Angst, Minor injury, Smut (Minors dni, marked with **), Enemies to lovers trope!

a/n: Hi!! The main series is now complete! I’ll be posting drabbles/one-shots based on requests! :)

See the full post

3972 notes • Posted 2021-08-16 18:31:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →