#// ill start writing again tomorrow !!!
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Got pages added and mostly together, we're in business now😎
#ill start writing again tomorrow#and will start figuring out what to start sharing etc#feel free to look around in meantime#happy holidays too <3
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i wish it wasn't so normal for people to complain about unfinished wips or fics that take a long time to update. because sometimes i think i have a really fun idea for a fic but it'd take a while for me to write, and i like talking about my work as i do it and i don't like writing entire fics over like 20k without sharing, because i lose steam. so if i were to write and post that cool fic idea, it'd be as a wip. and then i think about all the people who just refuse to engage with wips, or all the other people who would just go "update pls" all the time, and of how people only really comment in the first 24 hours something is posted and then it's lost to obscurity, and then i just go "actually whats the point in going through the effort writing this out? i'll just daydream about it now and then and be done with it." and then i don't write it. alas!
#rimi talks#shoutout to that one person who followed me from resi fandom and commented on one of my dc fics like ''pls update that resi fic''#also shoutout to all those tumblr posts about how theres nOthInG wOrSe than finding a GoOd FiC but its uNFiNIsHeD#i used to really like writing longfic but these days i kind of shy away from it bc it rly does get discouraging#like they say ''write for yourself'' and i do but i certainly dont share just for my own satisfaction yk???#anyways. i already have space fic and theres no need for me to start another fic. even if it would be fun.#ive also just been in a Mood about writing since yesterday and thats not helping matters 😔#but it feels like a stupid thing to be in A Mood about. idk. whatever jdlksk hopefully itll pass and ill be normal tomorrow :/#bc talking to duck earlier today we came up with a really fun mermay fic premise. but. writing? me? multichap again? lol. lmao even#like i would love to!!!!!! having two ongoing multichaps wouldnt kill me i like to pingpong between wips#but dealing with people whining about update times or telling me they refuse to read bc its a wip...... dunno if i can do that again fellas#okay. enough woes and whining. i guess i will go play a video game
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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Its nearly 4am and Im half asleep but yall should send in asks/requests for whatever shit for Creepypasta characters (preferably the more popular ones) or like character dynamics or Tobin or Tali (OCs) I need something to write about so bad Im scratching at the walls. But Im only gonna write in the perspective of my AU and I wont write x reader or for others OCs
#tombtalk#creepypasta#on that note#ill try to get through my inbox tomorrow#i want to try and start posting again#also#ive been doing literally nothing but reading#and studying poetry and prose and shit LMAO#so my writing has improved a lot i think#i mean hey practice makes perfect#and what better way to practice#than creepypasta headcanons and oneshots....
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Man I really need to write down all my dragon age OC lore because it just keeps getting more convoluted and complex but. I am lazy. And do not feel like doing it <//3
#dragon age#especially selene. like i have some things jotted down in my sketchbooks but#idk i wanna focus on what it would be like for a qunari to grow up adrastian with her#because the only qunari weve met are either tal-vashoth and assumedly dont follow any other religion#or they follow the qun#a qunari who was raised by humans and taught to believe in andraste would have suchhhh a unique relationship with the chantry#ESPECIALLY WITH HER BEING A MAGE TOO!!#SEE I GOTTA STOP WRITING THIS SHIT IN THE TAGS ON TUMBLR#I DO IT CONSTANTLY HELLO#oc: selene adaar#tomorrow. surely tomorrow i will sit and type everything up#i gotta get it done before college starts back up again lord#cant believe ill have classes when veilguard drops... surely this is homophobia???#worldstate: mage rights
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Ash how is the fated watching going rn?? You’re braver than most
godd wampus im fucking THRIVING right now. this campaign sucks so bad it's genuinely unwatchable at times and I think that's the appeal to me <3 they spent like 10 minutes just describing and figuring out how the money system works and literally none of them sound like they've ever played dnd before and i don't think it will ever pass the bechdel test once the entire campaign even with velrissa trying her hardest but it goes crazy anyway
br'aad is my favorite character by a lot right now,, he's my FREAKK i love him and his idiot swagger so much. he's supposed to be charismatic but he sucks so bad at it everyone hates him but sticks around with him anyway. he's a warlock and his patron stops time and gives him insight on things/danger to come and kicked off the main plot in the sickest sequence I've ever seen. also his gayboy ass really did walk so every other gayboy slimecicle character could run !! they were so right !! and the party spent the first and second session hating everything he said and did . Took them sooooo long to be normal about him but they got it eventually when mountain (MY MAANNNNNN) defended him. Also he says everything with ^_^ . Just outloud you can hear it in his voice
for the rest I think the only other character that's talking enough to form an opinion on is taxi. and that opinion is STRONGLY a good one o(-( ! his banter with br'aad is so fun they're the only characters that feel Real and In The World so far and I love it so much. the names bit where br'aad kept getting his name wrong and calling him "saxi" and whenever he corrected him br'aad would just go "I know saxi. Nice to meet you im br'aad!" actually had me in tears at a certain point they're the only ones that have gotten me to laugh fr fr so far
sadly velrissa mountain and sylnan just Don't Fucking Talk so i don't have any real concrete opinions on them yet other than "hmm. Interesting ^_^" velrissa and her necromancy stuff is so neat so far I hope we get to see it in action soon instead of just small mentions here and there. same with the dynamic between sylnan and br'aad I NEEED to see more snockers scenes like their sibling scamming bullshit seems so cool I can't wait for them to emotionally rip my heart out through my throat. I can feel it coming
honestly the main appeal of it all is the characters and the characters alone. them slowly becoming friends and trusting each other will fuck with my brain permanently. I already cheered out loud when they so much as INSINUATED that they could stand br'aad and his charisma and they don't actually hate being around each other like that made me so happy. their meeting makes no sense but that's okay the Shenanigans with the solid snake box and br'aad trying and failing to stealth was so fun and "nice forearms, and a nicer staff!" and the little weirdo gremlin goblin following them around they're all very scared of and creeped out by (except for br'aad. he is strongly sexually attracted to goblins. this is canon and brought up over and over again) all make up for it. the story really doesn't matter to me here at all ^_^ all i care about are the characters being happy and traveling together and that's what makes the campaign enjoyable for me
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#we have mail :]#if this makes no sense sorry its 2:30 am#cayden's dms are getting the brunt of my liveblogs otherwise inwould just be transcribing whole episodes on here#every time a character talks my ears perk up like a dog and i get excited. i feeeeeel the fixation forming#why cant i stay hyperfixated on good campaigns and media man why is it always shit that ended a long time ago#and sucks soooososo bad#as im writing this im finishing episode 2 so ill take a break for the night i think then start again tomorrow morning ^_^#WHICH I AM SETTING AN ALARM FOR SO I WAKE UP AT A NORMAL HOUR. I FORGOT TO DO THAT THIS MORNING LMAO#anyway thank you for letting me just Talk because this fucking campaign has me FUCKEDDDD UP#i love them so much... i am deeply invested in br'aaxi and i Get It Now#currently taxi has a whole girlfriend but its okay shes said like 2 lines and thats it because again. Never passing the bechdel test#wait okay episode 3 started they are doing a real and proper intro where they explain what characters they play#for the First Time#this is so cool woag
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6.500 words and if you add all the labels from the images and tables that has to be at least 7000 which is nearly half so if you really think about it we're basically done 🤡
#anyway 8.500 more words 👍#i just need to add all the tables and figures and then i think im done with the results#so i can go back to the introduction to finish it#and then i can start the discussion and conclusions#which is the worst but most important part#I'll write as much as possible tomorrow and on wednesday ill call the teacher#i might text girlie again tomorrow cause she hasnt given me any signs of life since she told me she would call me last Tuesday#jo says stuff#university update
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LOCKS OR KEYS: PART 9
YOU CHOSE: KEYS: TAKE THE CAR AND ESCAPE
Your choices leave your character lost. He has no choice but to succumb to the will of his captor.
CWS: non human whumper, whumper is also caretaker, captive whumpee, failed escape attempt, sick whumpee, brainwashing, torture, dehumanization, delirious whumpee, suicidal ideation, force feeding alcohol, hallucinations and delusions of bugs crawling on and into whumpee’s body, hypnosis. let me know if i should add more!
Masterlist.
Tag list (lmk if you’d like to be added or removed, my apologies for forgetting about it the last handful of parts): @skid-row-seymour @welcome-to-the-whumpfest @the9645archives
sorry this one is kinda long, but i felt like y’all deserved a bigger part for waiting so long to hear from this series :cryface:
. . .
The keys hang on the wall, the car sits outside. It’s time to go.
In one swift motion, Chase sheds the blanket off his shoulders and snatches up the keys. He strides outside the house, making easy and confident steps down the porch. Getting in the car is easy, starting it is easy, driving is easy. For once, he isn’t afraid.
The puppet opens his eyes. Now that he’s pictured his half assed plan, he can begin the attempt.
He sheds the blanket onto the couch, feeling a rush of cold air hit his skin. For a second he pulls it back, but ultimately elects to fold it and leave it on the couch. Maybe Pseudo won’t be as angry with him if he doesn’t leave a mess. Maybe he’s just stalling.
Once finished, he begins his steps towards the keys. They’re clumsy and painful, causing him to fall into the arm of the couch before he even leaves the living room. He manages to get to the keys, and with a trembling hand, he plucks them from the wall.
He feels nauseous.
Is he really doing this?
He could turn back at any moment, and Pseudo would never know. He wouldn’t question it, because Chase would still be in bed when he got home, and the keys would still be on the wall. He could turn back. He could be safe.
But instead he opens the door, against everything inside him. He can hear his inner “Pink voice” crying inside his head, “bad idea, bad idea, bad bad bad idea!”
But he is ignored, and Chase finds himself in the driver’s seat of the car.
It takes him a few minutes to muster the courage to start it, and then a few more just to remember how. His whole body shakes in cold and fear, and he feels like he could vomit at any given second. His nervousness cracks him down to his core, splitting through every cell and piece of tissue there is to have inside a human. Once the car rumbles to life, he adjusts the mirror, and sees Pseudo in the back seat.
“Fuck!!”
Chase whips around to look at him, but finds the car empty.
The relief, the fear, the sickness, the fighting Pink and Chase, God, he can’t take it. He can’t tell if what he saw was real or fake, if he’s just hallucinating or if Pseudo’s onto him and is just toying with him. But he’s come this far, and what he can’t take even more than the situation he’s in now, is staying another day here in Denmark. He wants to go home.
Chase puts the car in drive, and starts his terrifying journey.
. . .
If starting the car was difficult, driving should be its own category of horrendous.
He’s completely forgotten how. For the first ten or so minutes he either goes too fast or too slow. He almost drives off the side of the road into the wooded areas, (which he absolutely scratches the car), and at one point, he nearly crashes when trying to turn too fast on a curve. As time passes, the sun falls farther and farther beneath the trees, to which Chase panics when trying to find the switch for the headlights. He considers pulling over for a while just to cry about it all, but he gets the hang of most of it. He gets the hang of most of it, and he drives just fine for a while, despite having no idea where he’s going.
As Chase drives and drives, he starts seeing a house in the distance. Pseudo’s house.
Did he drive in a circle?
The roads don’t curve like that, do they?
Chase speeds up, terrified to be met with this fate so soon. He hopes he’s hallucinating again.
The same woods and lake and curves meet him again. He tries harder this time around to make sure he’s careful, taking different turns as not to end up in the same place. This cant be for nothing.
The same stretch of time seems to pass for Chase, though he can’t say for sure as Pseudo’s clock is stuck at 10:05. It all feels like the same terrifying drag to him either way.
Eventually, even with his precautions, he’s met with the house again.
He speeds up once more, gripping the steering wheel as tight as he can. He tries the same plan again, taking different roads or even going straight through the woods wherever the car can fit. At this point, he’d try anything to go home.
But once again, the house appears in his view.
Tears blur his vision as he tries again. He pleads to get free, more afraid of the punishment than anything at this point. If Pseudo isn’t on to his escape, then his lack of driving skills are going to be his downfall.
Again, the house appears, and again, he tries to drive.
He cries as he keeps the car going. It’s hard to see as it is, but he might need to pull over if his emotions keep getting the best of him like this.
The next time he gets back to he house, he sees Pseudo standing there, watching him. His hands are in his pockets and he doesn’t look upset, although Chase knows better than to assume. He knows he’s been caught, and that driving would be useless now. But he cant stop, this cant be for nothing.
He drives around again, and Pseudo stays put. Their dance continues, Chase driving, Pseudo waiting, until enough turns have happened that the puppet accepts his defeat. On the last drive, the car comes to a stop, but his tears don’t.
Pseudo approaches, opening the door and tilting his head at the doll. Chase has yet to stop crying.
“You’re supposed to be asleep,” says Pseudo.
The puppet covers his face, smashing tears into his fingertips. He feels like Pink. Or maybe wants to be Pink. Pseudo is nicer to Pink.
“You know what happens now, don’t you, dolly?”
Chase feels sicker and sicker. He covers his mouth just in case.
“I asked you a question, Chase.”
The name names his skin crawl. Pseudo doesn’t call him that anymore, not unless he’s in serious trouble.
“Yes,” Chase whimpers. He wipes the tears from his eyes and looks up at his captor, hoping to reason with him. “Yes, I’m sorry. I don’t- I don’t know what I was thinking, I was just scared and-“
Pseudo puts a finger to his lips. “Hush. You know where you’re supposed to go. I’ll be in there later.”
“But-“
Pseudo smacks Chase on the mouth, and the puppet shuts up. He leans in close to his doll, making sure their eyes meet and the attention is captured.
“Hush.”
He then unbuckles the seatbelt that ties Chase down, and takes the keys from the ignition.
“Put these back on your way in.”
The monster drops the keys in his puppet’s hand, and leaves him to follow his commands. But Chase is paralyzed.
He stares down at the keys in his hand, shaking like a leaf about to fall from a tree. He pictures the cellar, he pictures the garden, he pictures the car, the vague idea of children he forgets the names of. He pictures the stupidity of his decision, and how much easier his life would be had he just stayed in bed to sleep like he was told.
But there’s no point in picturing.
Chase stands up and shuts the door. With each step he takes he feels knives digging into his feet, roots trying to plant themselves in the ground to make him stay away from his punishment. He starts losing his breath from the panic, and while his hands go numb, he simultaneously crumbles to the ground. The keys find a home in the grass, and Chase’s mouth begins to salivate from the need to vomit.
He covers his mouth, trying to take deep breaths and prevent a mess. He can’t stop shaking, can’t stop crying, can’t stop thinking about what’s going to happen to him.
It takes him a few minutes to gather his strength again. Soon enough, he’s entering the house to place the keys back where he found them, and heading out the back door.
He wipes the tears from his eyes and looks at the cellar. Why, why, why did he have to be so stupid? Why can’t he just listen?
With trembling hands and closed eyes, he opens the doors for his consequences.
. . .
Pseudo takes a long time to come downstairs.
Chase isn’t sure if he’s just letting the tension build, or if his punishment is being locked in here for an unknown amount of time. God knows he’s spent long enough down here, weeks at a time, and every memory makes him more and more afraid of what’s to come. He tries not to focus on that part. Instead, he drags his hands against the wall for balance while he paces.
And paces, and paces, and paces
and paces and paces
and paces.
He paces until his feet ache from the weight of his bones. Until he has to cover his face and kneel on the ground, considering ending his life before Pseudo can come down to start the pain. But that thought leaves his mind as light drips heavy down the steps, and Chase becomes a lightening bolt to sit in the chair he’s supposed to.
His eyes lock on the drain below him. There are still stains on the concrete from his own blood, but more recently, from the man who was planted in the garden. Chase shivers as he pushes the thought from his mind.
Pseudo comes down the stairs with his eyes trained on the chair, pleased to see the seat taken. His stride is easy and comfortable, but there’s some kind of itch in his fingers that twitches as he gathers tools onto his little cart. He takes his time to think about his supplies, and what is or isn’t chosen. Chase steals a glance, but turns away when he sees a stun gun thud onto the surface.
“I don’t know why you do this to yourself,” says Pseudo, still focused on his task. “It’s like you enjoy being punished, I don’t know. Or maybe you’re just dumber than I thought.”
He places a few other tools on the cart, but Chase keeps himself blind to what’s there. Once finished, he rolls the cart closer to his prey, and stands in front of him to speak.
“Which one is it, Chase?”
The puppet frowns, shaking his head. “I-“
A hard smack to the face cuts him off. Chase goes reeling to the side of the chair, but is yanked back by his hair. The man cries out in pain, leaning as far into Pseudo’s grip as he can to avoid extra pain.
“If you speak again without permission, I’ll sew your mouth shut. Am I understood?”
Chase nods.
Satisfied, the monster lets go, and the puppet’s hands come up to soothe the pain in his cheek and scalp. The relief is short lived, however, as Pseudo grabs his wrists to strap them to the arms of the chair with thin metal wire. It digs trenches into his skin, so he tries not to squirm.
His ankles are met with the same restraints, and he clamps his jaw down as hard as he can to avoid pleading. His eyes unconsciously drift to the tool cart and he catches the sight of a Sjambok, which he can already feel the sting of. He closes his eyes and keeps his head down, but Pseudo doesn’t like that.
“Look up. Look at the cart.”
The puppet chews on his tongue and obeys. His eyes scan over what he sees, and the pit in his stomach doesn’t stop growing.
The Sjambok. The stun gun. Gardening scissors. Barded wire. Needle and thread. A small jar of table salt. Shards from the plate he broke. Whiskey. A nail-gun.
Chase’s breath picks up as he scans the cart. Tears sting his eyes, and he chews and chews into his tongue. His head swims with the anticipation and anxiety of it all, heart thumping like a bird’s inside his chest. Once he’s gathered the sight of what will be used, he turns back to his captor to see him staring like a stalking, hungry dog.
“What do you think, trouble- maker? Was it worth it?”
The man shakes his head. He feels pathetic and afraid. He only wishes he could go back in time to stop himself from being so stupid.
Pseudo nods in response.
“Good. I’ll tell you what though, doll. Once I use a tool, I’ll put it away. But everything will be used. Got it?”
Chase’s eyes glance to the stun gun. He nods his head, feeling sick all over again.
“Good. How about you pick first then? Since you like making stupid decisions so much.”
He rolls the cart closer to Chase so he can get a better view of it, and perhaps to point with his eyes what he wants. But Chase shakes his head, a hum of fear crawling up his throat against his will.
“Hey, come now. You want to make choices, so make one. Pick something.”
The man brings his head back up to meet Pseudo’s gaze. He pleads with his eyes, with his frown. He doesn’t want to. Don’t make me, please?
Pseudo tilts his head, waiting.
“Pick.”
Chase blinks tears from his eyes and turns back to his options. He points with his eyes, and says what he wants in his head, just in case Pseudo is listening.
Whiskey.
Pseudo points at the stun gun. “This?”
Chase shakes his head. No, no, whiskey. He moves forward slightly to stare harder at the bottle.
“This?”
The gardening scissors.
Chase shakes his head again, pleading, pleading, chewing on his tongue. Whiskey!
Pseudo lands on the whiskey, and Chase nods and relishes in his relief.
“Alright...”
Pseudo opens the bottle, and presents it to Chase’s mouth. “Drink.”
The puppet obeys, drinking swig after swig after swig, until its spilling over his mouth and down his chin. He starts coughing and spitting it up, but Pseudo keeps it trained on his lips. He begins to feel like he’s drowning in the alcohol before it’s pulled away, and Chase’s throat is left to burn like a hungry fire while he coughs out the poison.
“Catch your breath… it wasn’t that bad.”
It takes him a few minutes of back patting and condescending encouragements to finally settle down. He tries breathing through his mouth to calm the burning in his throat, but Pseudo takes it as an excuse to pour more poison into his body.
The same motions repeat, and the bottle is halfway gone by the time Pseudo pulls it away again. But the cap goes back on, and just as Pseudo promised, its put on the bottom shelf of the cart.
“That was an easy one… so I think I’ll pick next.”
He picks up the nail- gun, and places it to Chase’s shin.
The puppet sits up, and the wire that holds him down digs into his skin. With eyes wide and breath fast, he shakes his head, clamping down his jaw to keep himself from speaking up. His tongue endures more abuse from his teeth.
“Which leg pressed the gas?”
Chase shakes his head again, tears falling down his face as the fear takes over him. Please, please, no. He shrivels into himself like a raisin, and the wire once again digs deeper and deeper into his flesh.
“Which leg, dolly? Point with your eyes.”
The doll sobs a little harder, shaking his head.
“No? Maybe I’ll just hit both, then…”
His eyes shoot open to stare at his right leg, tears blurring his vision. At this Pseudo chuckles, tilting his head and keeping his eyes on the doll’s face.
“I’m just messing with you,” he smiles. “But it would’ve been very interesting had you pointed at your left.”
As soon as he finishes speaking, a nail goes shooting through Chase’s tibia. It digs down as deep as it can get, cracking the bone with the force.
He screams as loud as he can muster. His already burned throat doesn’t do well with the strain, but its even worse when another nail goes shooting through just below the first one. He can’t stop himself from crying about it.
The nail- gun drops into the bottom shelf, and Pseudo calls his puppet back to focus. He coos at him, tapping his face, until Chase gets the hint.
“It’s your turn, puppet.”
The doll looks at his leg. His pants are soaked with blood and alcohol, but he cant see the nails from this angle. Perhaps thats a good thing.
He turns back to the cart, and makes his choice.
Salt.
Pseudo points at the Sjambok. Chase shakes his head.
Pseudo points at the gardening scissors. Chase shakes his head, leaning closer to the salt.
He points at the stun gun. Chase loses his breath, and leans even closer.
Salt!
“Mh, I’m just not sure what you’re saying. I suppose I’ll pick..”
Pseudo picks up the glass shards, and starts shoving them one by one into Chase’s thigh. He uses the last one to give his doll’s cheek a little cut, and tosses it into the cart. The remaining shards stay planted in flesh like sprouting seeds. It hurts, but it feels like a break compared to what he just felt.
Next, Pseudo picks up the Sjambok, and stands up.
“Lean forward.”
Chase groans, shivering. He feels dizzier and dizzier, and the world feels harder to navigate. Is he getting drunk already?
“Don’t make me ask again, dolly. You don’t want this to hit your face, do you?”
The doll succumbs and does as he’s told. Once he’s in position, Pseudo waits to watch his puppet just breathe. His chest rises and falls fervently in his lap, just barely grazing the glass. After enough tension builds to make Chase whimper, he strikes his back hard.
A large slice of blood erupts from the source, and the doll screams into his knees. Another three strikes are given, and the Sjambok is tossed to the floor.
Chase sobs like a child. He can’t get enough air in his lungs, and the tears seem to be never ending. Everything already aches, and there’s still so much to do. He feels dizzy and faint, unsure if its the blood loss or the alcohol, or both. But before he can get his bearings again, the wounds on his back sting bad enough for him to wail all over again.
Salt, salt, salt, like trails of snow, poured into his open wounds. Pseudo holds the back of his neck to keep him in place.
“Stop!” Chase weeps, squirming and crying like it’ll do something useful. “Please, please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry!! Please stop!”
Pseudo clicks his tongue three times, finishing the last row and putting the salt away.
“You just can’t get enough of this, can you, sweetheart?”
Chase sits up once free, writhing in pain. He sways as the alcohol takes over the remaining of his control, and the pain takes its place close behind. He can’t press his back to the chair, but cant lean forward, either. Everything hurts. He’s too dizzy, he feels drunk already. His wrists ache and look as red as his crying face does.
Pseudo plucks the needle and thread from the cart.
“Quiet, dolly, or this will hurt a lot more than you’d like it to.”
“Nonono, please, please!” he weeps. “I wont do it again, I won’t ever do it again, I’ll do everything you say, I’m s— ah!!”
Pseudo smacks Chase on the mouth hard enough to shove his back into the chair.
“Enough. You’re being awfully stupid..”
The needle comes up from his bottom lip first, snaking its way to the top lip. Row after row, sob after sob, every sound that comes out of Chase’s mouth becomes muffled. Blood drips down his chin to follow the paths that the alcohol took beforehand. The salty tears sting the cut on his cheek, and whatever wound from the stitches that they can get into.
The gardening scissors cut the remaining thread, and both tools are tossed to the bottom of the cart. At least his fingers wont have the same fate as Richie’s.
The next tool that’s chosen is barbed wire. Pseudo uses it to wrap around Chase’s torso and arms, making sure to roll up any clothing so the razors meet his skin instead of fabric. Then, the stun gun finds his hand.
Chase’s head swims. He shakes his head, his cries becoming weaker but more afraid by the second. He’d take anything over the stun gun. Even the nail- gun. The sensory hell that comes from electricity is simply too much for him to take right now.
“Readyyyy?” Pseudo sings. “You’re almost done.”
But Chase isn’t, nor will he ever be, ready for the stun gun. He shakes his head again, a pathetic sob bubbling up from his throat. He sinks deeper into the chair, regretting everything he’s done within the last two days. He wants to wake up in the attic with the sun on his face and be confused about what’s happening again. He wants to be hypnotized and treated like a doll, to be coddled and loved and doted upon for whatever fucked up reason Pseudo has for doing it. He wants to be Pink, he wants to be Pink, he wants to be Pink.
Pseudo aims at Chase’s shoulder, and shoots.
His entire body tenses up from the electricity. What little control he had before has now left him, and he is left to scream and endure for 10 seconds.
15.
20.
Chase opens his eyes to see Pseudo standing over him. He can’t breathe, he cant see, the world swims and twists in his eyes. The room spins and there are fire ants crawling across his entire body, with burrows dug deep into his flesh. He looks down at himself, seeing bugs crawling all across his skin.
“Mmm- mmmm!!!”
Chase writhes and hollers like his life depends on it. There are bugs on his skin!! He can feel them burrowing into his flesh, into his shin, his wrists, his torso, his mouth, his thigh!!!!! They’re everywhere!!!
He screams and screams and screams as they take over his whole body, making a home inside every space they can. Pseudo grabs hold of his doll’s face, forcing his eye contact and attention.
“Settle down,” he commands. “You’re alright. Deep breaths, Pink. Deep breaths.”
He keeps squirming and fighting, keeps sobbing and sinking deeper into the chair as the bugs eat him up like candy. But Pseudo comes soothing, and kind, and Chase feels heavier and heavier until the whole world feels too far away to focus. But Pseudo is there, and Pseudo is helpful. Pseudo gets the bugs away.
“You’re okay, Pink. Listen to me now, deep breaths. You’re all done.”
All done? All done?
Pink shivers. He remembers what he did, how stupid and dangerous that was. He can’t believe he’d do such a thing, especially when an angel like Pseudo is here to take care of him. What’s wrong with him?
Pink whines as he’s set free from his restraints. As all the barbed wire is peeled from his body and the glass shards are plucked out one by one. He sighs, especially thankful, when he’s able to take a breath through his mouth as the thread is cut away. He has no choice but to lean into Pseudo when scooped up into his arms, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He wants to be good now, and he’ll promise that once he’s allowed to speak again.
“You’re alright, Pink. I’ve got you back now, hm? You’re alright.”
Pink whines once more, feeling overwhelmed with the urge to fall asleep.
. . .
Oh, his head hurts.
Where is Pseudo?
Pink opens his eyes to find himself alone in his room. His body feels heavy and beaten, and everything hurts. Upon seeing the sun shine through the window, he is overcome with a wave of nausea so strong that he has to lean over his bed. When he tries to sit up, however, the pain in his back and ribs is enough to make him cry out. The nausea gets worse until he gags, covering his eyes and mouth and pretending Pseudo is there to coach him through it. Once it passes, he opens his eyes, half expecting to see Pseudo already there and waiting.
The puppet groans, observing his empty room. He wants to call out for Pseudo, but closes his mouth upon remembering he’s not supposed to speak. He wishes he could ask for some water, or a hug.
Instead he asks for attention by knocking on the wall. Everything in his body hurts, so standing up to make noise doesn’t feel like a safe option for him. He just hopes that Pseudo notices soon, whether that’s through annoyance or wanting to be by his puppet. He can’t take much longer without seeing his angel.
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, says Pinks room.
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
The knocks are eventually returned at the door, and Pink hears a key turn into the lock. The door opens, and Pink smiles dopey and adoring.
“Ps-“ he starts, before covering his mouth. He wants to say sorry, but then he’d have to say sorry for saying sorry, and then sorry for saying sorry for saying sorry. So he just clamps his jaw shut, and prays that Pseudo forgives him for his near mistake.
“My Pink,” Pseudo croons. The key is concealed inside his pocket, and he makes his way towards his doll. “Do you feel sick this morning?”
Pink nods, sighing and relaxing when Pseudo comes to sit beside him. As if that weren’t enough, Pseudo runs a hand through Pink’s hair, and the doll leans as far into his touch as possible. He wants moments like these to last forever.
“Poor thing… but you’ll be good now, won’t you? No more slip ups like yesterday.”
Pink’s face burns in embarrassment. He can’t believe what he did; the regret consumes him. He shakes his head, holding Pseudo’s hand and kissing his palm to show his devotion.
Pseudo smiles and runs his hand through Pink’s hair, and the puppet basks in the attention. He can’t get enough of it. He isn’t sure why he ever tried to leave in the first place. Stupid, stupid puppet.
“That’s precious.. but, I have to make sure you’re being honest, don’t I?”
Pink nods. That makes sense, and he’ll do anything to prove himself.
“Good. Because if you’re good..”
He runs a hand through Pink’s hair, and a thumb across his cheek bone. The puppet melts.
“Then I’ll bring you back home, and I’ll spoil you rotten.”
Pink smiles. This time, he blushes from contentment. From adoration.
“But if you’re bad, if you show me you want to escape again, I’ll make sure you end up alone. No one will take care of you.”
Pink frowns, afraid. He points at Pseudo, and shakes his head. Not even you?
“You’ll be alone, Pink. Out of your head,” he pets Pink’s hair again, “and all alone. Do you understand?”
Yes. Pink nods.
“Good. Then I should see you soon, dolly. Don’t fret about it when you get there, hm? Nothing to be afraid of if you’re a good puppet.”
Pink wants to ask where he’s going, but is left to wonder until it happens.
#good god#i’ve been writing this for almost 7 hours#i hope u guys enjoyed and again im so sorry its so ooooo long#i jsut wanted to make up for that long long hiatus#like i know thats pretty common for this series and like#other authors in general#but i want to start posting more consistently#cos i like this series a lot and i love hearing your guys’ opinions on it too#anyway#im so sleepy#sorry if there’s any mistakes in there#thank you guys for being so so supportive and patient#you all motivate me to keep writing this so thank u <33#locksorkeysgame#choose your own adventure#choose your own story#puppet pink#pseudo#my writing#ill probably add more tags tomorrow#wish me luck on my exam i wrote this instead of studying for it lololololol#whump writing#whump#whump community#whumpee#whump series#whumper#whumper is also caretaker#hypnosis whump
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(venting in the tags ignore this lol)
#minhmy.rambles#(i just need to shout this somewhere where my friends don't see so they don't worry too much about me)#but oh my god work just got worse for this week im already working every day but tomorrow (aka in six and a half hours)#i will start at 5am and end at 9pm aka a double shift bc my coworker tested positive and there's no one else that can work#just for tomorrow but the rest of the week ill be working 1-9#which i hate even though im used to it night shifts are just boringgggg and takes up a lot of my time#which i already have so little of#my mom said i should clean my closet and i was going to tomorrow bc i wanted to play grandfest today but now i cant do that#bc ill literally be at work all day lol#and god its just so hard its so so hard but it could be worse. it literally could be worse#i cant be here as much anymore bc im so busy and tired i just draw when i can and drop them all here and leave#and i miss writing a lot but i have even less time and even less motivation and the more i work the more awful i feel#and i don't want to worry anyone like . i just don't#but its so difficult for me it really is#theres so many things i want to do but i cant do any of it and im so tired im literally so tired#like im not gonna end my life kinda tired i have a lot to look forward to. but work just really sucks and i am Tired#and i Like my job its literally the easiest and ill never have something like this again#but urghghghh. urggfhhghgh. death pain and suffering#if i draw more sif and loop suffering lol. this is why. i need to get the emotions out somehow and i don't want to cry over it#i cant cry bc i need to work i just have to keep my head up i just have to keep at it i just have to be strong and not break#i can do it i can.. i know i can i've been through worse#its just. augh.#ok done. sorry i rly rly should sleep soon bc of my 16 hour shift tmrw lol its past 10:30pm already
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FINAL MIDBLOCK ESSAY DONE!! I AM FREE!!
#FINALLY. have not been able to relax for like a month that’s the thing about the due dates being so far apart it’s great because you’ve got#more time but it also means everything just. lasts longer. anyway! done now. this one perhaps not my best work but it was harder than i#expected…my us government one will be rough but what else do you expect from 1500 words..and then my theory essay..my best hope for a good#grade perhaps…but we’ll see. the next lot aren’t due until january but im gonna start thinking about them now so im less busy over christmas#insane that that’s not too terrible a thought. uni is crazy when you actually enjoy your degree. anyway! for now i am going to enjoy the#rest of my weekend at home n me and my mum are going out tomorrow n im gonna buy some books with the voucher i haven’t spent since my#birthday in february and ill finally have time to finish the book im reading rn AND to do some writing..start chapter 2 : ^ )#woohoo!! aware no one gaf about any of this but i am first and foremost always the audience for my own posts so. this one’s for me..#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again
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Just wanted to say that I adore your blog, it brings a smile to my face whenever I see your posts! You seem like a really cool person and so I was wondering - would you be interested in becoming mutuals? <3 Asking as a seagull because I'm shy. *flies away*
Thank you and for your lovely words! I'm very happy to know that you enjoy my posts so much, that brings a smile onto my face! :D
Sure thing we could become mutuals! Just send a message my way, don't worry I'm not intimidating or grumpy like Davy Jones!
*insert scene of Davy grumbling bitterly in the background*
#[answered]#[mun answers]#gotta head off to bed now as im pretty exhausted from work today but at least tomorrow is my last day before i have my days off to relax!#and write lots of good davy stuff with movies playing in the background#i might give the lord of the rings trilogy another binge watch as i just finished listening to the 1981 broadcast of it#and it had the lovely bill nighy voicing as samwise gamgee!!! and he was amazing!#let me tell you when he started talking about potatoes to gollum in that scene during the two towers i burst out laughing#because all i could think of was davy jones saying PO TA TOES#BOIL EM MASH EM STICK EM IN A STEW UH#it was such a great broadcast i definitely need to listen to it again sometime#ian holm was voicing frodo which was incredible since he plays as older bilbo in the peter jackson movies!#but saruman's voice actor took me a while to get used to because christopher lee's voice was so perfect#anyway that was me fangirling about lord of the rings ill be headed off to bed while davy plays the pipe organ XD#thank you for the ask again grey seagull!
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Responding here to ur tag response to my question on this post so i dont clog up your notes over there 😅
That concept is so cool!! Can you tell me more about the dynamics? (Like what are the specific differences that made you classify Sabito as alpha prime instead of just alpha?)
When you say the Primes effect more and are effected more than the others what exactly do you mean?
Do you become a Prime when you take on a certain roll in your pack or is it just a option during the initial presenting event?
Are Primes like a subsection of their dynamic or are they a whole new one? (3 broad dynamics society vs 5 specific dynamics society)
How does everybody being abo (and Sabito being alive) effect their relationships with each other in this AU compared to canon?
And lastly, what are everybody's designations in this au? 👀
I kinda got carried away with the questions whoops
ok important distinction to get out of the way first- i see a/b/o as terms to describe phenomena, not strict definitions people fall into. i dont like omegaverse things like that bc 1 i love biology & speculative evolution and through that lens it makes absolutely 0 fucking sense to me and 2 i dont like omegaverse basically being reduced to sexism 2.0 with submissive feminine omegas, dominant masculine alphas, and boring betas.
i completely understand and see the appeal in traditional a/b/o but i also think its severely limiting
to answer your questions off the bat:
sabito as an alpha prime mostly just bc i really really like giving him big/visible fangs and that influenced some worldbuilding choices lmao
imagine having ur senses turned up 200%. theyre just as affected by a drop of pheromones as normal dynamics are a litre. theyre way more sensitive to others' and their own is far more potent
theres no 'presenting event' either you stay not very reactive to pheromones(beta) you start reacting to pheromones normally(alpha/omega) or you start to be fuck-off sensitive to pheromones(a/o prime) (ppl dont choose or get assigned a secondary dynamic its just something that Happens and a/b/o are terms used to describe wide trends)
its still 3 broad dynamics, primes are considered a sub-category/more specific variant of alpha/omega
mmm, id say overall theyre pretty much the same? rengokus & mitsuri are closer-knit, tengen and them kinda make a trio, sabito's almost part of the mini-group(The Loud Ones)- sanemi and obanai still dislike giyuu, now its got an added 'omega has his alpha wrapped around his finger and makes him do the dirty work instead' bc he never bothers to defend himself from them so sabito steps up and tells them to fuck off- then theres the obvious kamado situation. sabito's neutral abt them after he gets over his initial anger but cmon. its tanjiro. youre not staying neutral for long. giyuu more protective of them from the get-go
theres only a few ppls who are set in stone lmao- sakonji-alpha sabito-APrime giyuu-omega tanjiro-OPrime nezuko-N/A sanemi-beta obanai-beta mitsuri-OPrime kyojuro-alpha
my version of a/b/o
secondary dynamics arent dependent on sex, theyre two separate spectrums and secondary dynamics are Secondary
secondary dynamics start to develop with puberty, not really finished until somewhere in 20s
you cant tell what someone's secondary dynamic will be until it starts to present
betas are the hardest to tell bc sometimes ppl are just late bloomers, late20s-30s and they still dont react to scents very strongly or havent had a heat/rut theyre probably a beta
[shitty doodle of the parabola graphic- up-down is omega/alpha left-right is not sensitive-very sensitive]
betas still smell scents but arent sensitive to pheromones and their own arent very strong either, some can have mini-heats or ruts. overall if theyre not very reactive to scents and they dont have noticeable fangs or any changes to their reproductive organs theyre considered a beta
alphas and omegas have stronger scents (a beta would need to be actively projecting their scent to be on the same level as alpha/omega's baseline) and are sensitive to pheromones.
secondary dynamics influence sex but are not influenced by sex; males who are omegas can develop female reproductive systems and females who are alphas can develop male reproductive systems. this results in tons of possible combinations, though not everything /works/ since they'd need the matching internal & external parts to actually reproduce.
with male omegas/female alphas; commonly, either the secondary reproductive system doesnt develop at all or the secondary external develops alongside the original*. less commonly the secondary external develops and the original internals swap to the secondary. very rarely the secondary will fuck up the original internals and make someone sterile. very VERY rarely will someone develop both original and secondary reproductive systems that are fully functional
main biggest difference between alphas and omegas is mostly in whether they have a heat(& nest) or a rut(& claim territory)
heats typically start off with some warning signs before the actual heat kicks in(preheat) omegas will start to be clingy and seek safety/closeness with their pack for a few days, along with starting to give off a heat scent. omegas usually dont smell their own heat scent until its already pretty strong(closer to heat) so others around them usually notice the scent first. heat hits with a full body fever for a day or two, its extremely uncomfortable and usually omegas drop out of coherency. behind the scenes all kinds of reward chemicals and other important stuff in the brain are thrown way out of wack- no one really notices that tho bc theyre usually blearily rolling around suffering through a mind-numbing fever. after it abates theyre left with the still fucky brain balance and dont really get back all the coherency they lost from the fever, still a little out of it for the whole duration of heat. theyre more sensitive to changes in their emotions and more sensitive to physical contact, heats in their usual state are non-sexual and an omega simply seeks security affection and comfort from their pack. excessively negative emotions caused by lack of security or comfort can cause an omega to be extremely panicky/depressive/aggressive (borderline feral) and its not fun for anyone involved. the omega going through it is overrun with negative thoughts/feelings/emotions and the scent of an omega going through a disruptive heat is especially nauseating & discomforting to anyone around (an intense need to Fix It and make the omega feel better). on the flip-side, omegas being more sensitive to emotion and physical contact can lead to a state of near constant euphoria/ecstasy in sexual heats between mates (the more traditional version of heat)
omegas will go into heat in the presence of another omega's heat if they are emotionally connected (family, pack, friends, etc) and an omega's heat can cause an alpha to start their rut (& vice-versa ruts causing heats)
ruts cause a similar fucky brain balance but not nearly to the same degree as heats, alphas will seek out affection and their instinct to protect is sent into absolute overdrive. mother hen x500. it causes them to be a lot more agitated which leads to more aggression bc more things are seen as a threat.
sexual ruts with mates sends their instinct to make sure the other IS and feels safe/good into overdrive and They Will Not Leave Their Mate
nesting is the usual find soft things make comfy/safe bed/area for pack and is extremely personal/fiercely defended from those who its not meant for; claiming territory is a wider application of 'make area feel comfy/safe for pack' alphas will patrol or steak out vantage points of their selected territory, like omegas they also dont take kindly to intruders**
alphas are built a bit more for power and tend to be offensive/face confrontation head-on(make opponent lose ground, get threats as far away from my pack as possible); while omegas are built a bit more for speed/agility and tend to be defensive/run loops around confrontations(dont let opponent gain any ground, keep threats from getting any closer to my pack) its not solid evidence when trying to tell someone's dynamic off it alone because people's natural variation is so wide and people's experiences can change how theyd react to stress and such so its usually ignored but trends Can be seen
*giyuu's like that male omega has both parts externally but no uterus so. no mpreg for him</3
**it can be kinda subtle sometimes, one example ive posted is sabito physically situating himself so hes between his pack(giyuu/tanjiro/nezuko) and the threat (sanemi/rest of the hashira)
i think thats everything? feel free 2 ask for clarification if i fucked up explaining or missed something
#abo sabigiyu surprise adoption au#i need a better name for this au its hard to type(it doesnt automatically pop up when i start typing it)#could change it to the much more catchy mamasabigiyu i use in my notes#heats/ruts are nonsexual by default theyre supposed to be cuddle sessions. basically biologically enforced Group Rest Time & Social Bonding#oh fuck i didnt even think abt scenting#shit. fuck. this whole damn time and i never thought about scenting. fuck my entire life#makes me think of the mitsugiyu abo fic someone posted(& i reblogged- its somewhere under the loserboy tag) mitsuri was all over him#something something scent glands somewhere around the wrists hips & base of neck on either side#its like on the sides of the neck just above the curves of the collar bone. either side of the jugular#hips just inside the jut of the pelvis- those r the spicier scent gland spots when ur trailing- no... i shan't continue....#anyway the prime thing i saw in some abo fic i'll have to find again and i cemented the idea in my own head trying to connect the dots w#tanjiro's super smell ability. hes a little weirdo his enhanced sense of pheromones also translated to general scents & smells#s gotta be overwhelming#anyways gonna stop there i always take to long to write this shit out and even longer to hit post for some reason#goin to bed ill post kitsune!sab tomorrow#FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION THE FANGS IN MORE DETAIL#ill edit later
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grah my head feels like it might explode
#this essay prompt makes 0 fucking sense#love this teacher. fucking hate how she teaches tho#we're supposed to have a rough draft by the end of class tomorrow#okay not too horrible#IF MOT FOR THE FACT SHE KEEOS CHAINGING THE ALREADY FUCKIBG CONFUSING ASS PROMPT#i can write essays about whatever stupid fucking novel you need me to#but myself??#a significant memory i have??? that i learned a stupid fucking lesson from?????#i have like 0 significant memories from before the age of like. 10. and still not all that many after thay <3#should i talk ab how my dad fucking died? would you like that you asshole?????????#what fucking lesson would I have learned from that? dont become a fucjibg alvoholic?#shit i feel like im gonna fucking cry again i cant do this shit#i have the general vibe for each paragraph listed out ill work on it more in homeroom tomorrow#we wont even have the full fucking class for this tomorrow cuz she's a fucking asshole who gives us like five fucking seconds in class per#assignment#fucking hell dude#especially since half the class said they hadnt even started writing by like halfway through our (shortened!) class yesterday#im gonna fucking explode#my stuff#alex is not vibing.#also pjysicially too my dumbass forgot to eat dinner cuz hehe haha omg i can sing and suddenly uts 10 and i havent showered yet and my mom#will be getting home soon so i need to shower then rush my gay ass to bed#which i am in currently.#so im also feeling the forgor to eat feeling too <3
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i hate knowing exactly what i need to do but being unable to do it :(
#i hate being mentally ill!!!!!!!!!!!!#but it’s ok i know how i need to go about my life for it to actually be liveable#and i just need to fuckin implement the things instead of playing fast and loose with my own health and stability#SO i’m going to have a shower and drink some water and see what the plan is for the day#if i have time i’ll start writing out shit 4 my assignment and if not then i’ll do it tomorrow <3#i’m going 2 get something to eat and i’m going to treat my body and mind kindly and i Will survive being back in this city and i Will#survive being with my family again !!
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idk why I've been working on the field observation report due like 4 days after the other instead of the one due directly after I get back to florida
#i am....really intenlligent#also...really tired#i know it isnt a good idea but im probably gonna leave this to write tomorrow....oof#im too tired to write anything of quality right now i feel#i am just...constantly stressed#cant wait for the semester to be over...than all i have to stress about is piano class and getting money#txt#at least i can start doing commidsions again#ill orobably open them once the semester is iver or at least once i turn in all my work
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.
#met the hottest butch ive ever seen in my whole entire life tonight#nigh-on everyone in the room had fucking heart eyes SO BIG for her the WHOLE TIME. and then#when she said she ''really couldnt do a relationship right now''#you could hear hearts break in that room fulla gayass bitches#ABSOLUTELY including mine in that count lmao. but also im delusional so even tho after tomorrow i know ill probably never see her again#i am sitting here in bed -- HOURS later -- SIGHING WISTFULLY like a moronnnnn#lmfao. goddamnit.#hopeless romantic central; emphasis on hopeless#she was so fucking funny oh my god. and the goddamn butchivalry was off the CHARTS#i couldnt decide whether to swoon or let my own butch tendencies make me start competing lmfaooo#she was a friend of a friend visiting from the next town over; and this mutual friend had been hyping up her arrival so much id started to#think it was bc she was trying to set us up or something. which legit started to make me kinda nervous before she got here#and now im going fucking insane because oh my GOD#OH MY GODDDDD.#literally just. losing my goddamn mind. i dont know this girl at ALL & ik i dont do casual eeeeeven a little bit & shes NOT looking for That#but... fuck. goddamn. gotDAMN she was so cool#i doubt she was looking at me much If At All lmao; we were all just chilling... im just. objectively Not Good at Being Chill#anyway im writing this here hours later so i dont text our mutual friend at 5am about how rad meeting her was like some kinda creep lmfao#bee speaks#my outfit was cute but i doubt she was lookin; esp since i came straight to the party after a performance so i was in... weird shape lmao#altho im VERY glad we got to meet Before shes supposed to come see the show tomorrow lmao.#like. now at the very least her first impression of me isnt me-as-kreon; asshole misogynistic tyrant dictator-in-chief that he is hdkdgk
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