#// idk i think i'd have to talk about it with someone but at the same time who would want to help me figure out BEERUS headcanons like this
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triglycercule Ā· 1 month ago
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dust and horror angel and demon themes,,,, they could totally parallel each other...... :3
dust=angel of death described in the delta rune prophecy (self declared) (i DEFINITELY elaborated on this one waayyyy before but anyways dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME SAVE ME.... death is a blessing ass guy. life is torment and he will be the one to liberate monsters from their bodies and with the strength they provide to him be able to take down evil evil creation of pure misery that is the human āœØāœØāœØ dont worry his evil cackles are to HIDE HIS PAIN of saving everyone....... trust)
horror=demon that dragged everyone in horrortale into hell (as perceived by everyone else) (i think it would be a cool hc if everyone outside of snowdin viewed horror as literally a demon. maybe undyne preaches that. anyone outside of snowdin might be WAYYY worse because they starve for longer and literally take part in cannibalism so they might not have the same sort of mild sanity that snowdin residents do,,,, besides he DID kinda bring them all eternal suffering. kinda. nobody but undyne knows what happened at the core so she could totally just paint the story to blame horror fully)
ANYWAYS i like the possible dynamics this could have :333
dust to horror (please let me kill you PLEASE let me kill you i can end it all so peacefully wouldn't it be nice??? i promise ill make it quick just for you),,, horror to dust (i want you to live and suffer with what youve done i want you to watch all of your choices hit you one day and i'll be there and laugh at you. i'll keep you alive just to keep you suffering ok?)
OR dust to horror (you dont deserve to die you dont deserve to even be hurt by me. not because youre the exception but youre the Exception i absolutely loathe you so youll never get the sweet release of death :3) and horror to dust (just let me die already i dont wanna be here. youre supposed to be a savior right??? an angel?? then why don't you save me already when i need it more than anyone else)
#SHITS THIS OUT BECAUSE I NEED TO GET RID OF IT. my evil doppelganger will adore this post i've already shown them#this is definitely a bit of an exaggeration of their characters in my eyes but i love it :333#i dont think that dust is THIS deluded in my eyes and i dont think horror is this cynical. even tho theyre both still these traits#i came up with this idea while writing my mtt meets eachother fic :3#you can probably totally guess where i made the connection. thank you horrortale undyne for this one single thing#anyways i dont know how to shove killer into this LMAO. i was thinking like.... angel and demon on your shoulder to swap choices#but but triglycercule doesnt killer already have that with his stages??? well YES but both can be true at the same time :333#idk i dont have enough brain juices for this rn. so you get this half assed explanation šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļø#dust: we should kill this person. totally because they need to be freed and not because they piss me off#horror: no we should keep them alive but torment them so they never get the sweet release of death and suffer#and thanks to killer THEY CAN DO BOTH!!! YAAAAY!!!!! the powers of determination are awesome man (smug tiktok emoji)#dust is sounding awfully similar to a certain killer au of mine i made..... swapinverse rearing its ugly head once again smh#idk if this is more of a symbolic thing or LITERALLY angel dust and demon horror#because i like both ideas........ imagine an actual angel dust and demon horror going around with killer doing the little dialogue i said#what would killer be in this??? he's not a mortal or a human as would be per usual when describing whats between an angel or demon#killer as a god lmao..... noooo noooooo..... maybe just something akin to one. i meaaan technically-#someone who's more into religious theming would probably eat this idea but i cant be bothered uaghhhh#if i say anything about killer i will get shot. but i can tank a couple bullets. killer does have the ability to let both dust and horror#fufill their own ideologies. and also i am a big fat SUCKER for killer keeping horror and dust 'in line' IDC if its a bad sanses concept#i love it and therefore it's now mine to use in an only mtt context. otherworldly beings trio ā€¼ļøā€¼ļø aghhhhh#i have like 89 drafts if the drafts reach 100 by the end of the year i think i'd DIE. so this is getting posted idc#you wont see me using literal angel and demon dust and horror. but if you look in my mind you'll see the themes regularly in what i talk ab#anyways back to writing this stupid fic i go. dust is currently battling several inner demons rn. good luck loser :3#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#tricule hc
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schnuffel-danny Ā· 7 months ago
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I cannot stress enough that as an USAmerican you need foreign friends who barely speak English, because that's the only way for you to realize that half the discourse that happens online only matters to a very small percentage of human population, and all of those people are chronically online USAmericans
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beforecreation Ā· 1 month ago
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You've answered what beerus is like when he has a crush on someone, what is he when he's actually in a relationship?
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That is!!
An incredibly good question.
That I'll answer sometime between now...
And the heat death of the universe.
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yoshistory Ā· 8 months ago
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part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore
#like. remember that. remember following me back when i was bi and genderfluid lol. awhile ago now#its like whatever to me now. its really hard for me to pin anymore#like when i feel like genderfluid and bi again i feel like i can be a lot more open about shit#but i dont really even know. its hard#i feel like. and this is just like. me yknow. i feel like if i wasnt dating a man i'd be missing out on something that i want#like i dont know if i would be content just marrying a woman and being satisfied if i. didnt have a husband. yknow what i mean#and its like. if *I* wasnt a man i'd be sad. if in a relationship i wasnt someone's boyfriend or husband i'd be sad about it#so this is what wraps back around to me being a gayboy about it yknow#its complicated because no matter the gender label outcome. i would STILL want testosterone and surgery and masculine terms#and i KNOW this doesnt mean anything for some people. like some women do all that and are women#so i could just be not-a-man and still want all this anyways#but i also know it doesnt make it any less complicated for some of these women. who also had to think about themselves a lot in this way#its this weird notion of whatever ends up happening i... physically want the same shit anyways. THAT stays almost completely static#so that for me is a breather. its just like.... idk ... if i ever got in a relationship with a woman#i'd feel like i would be intrinsically. missing out on something i wanted#which i think is what a lot of burgeoning gay kids feel generally. right#like if you went down this stringent path laid out for you that you'd be missing out on. your life that you want. right.#i dont know what i want out of that really. sometimes i feel like im too out of it to pursue anything romantically anymore anyways#i do sometimes think it'd be cool to be a butch woman. kinda..?#i think what i like about that is the masculinity of myself is gender non-confirming if i were a woman#which if im a masc guy i'm just like. your average dude. like. right#but i wanna be a bear about it. i wanna fag it up about it. and my metric of being transgender im not ... average about how i present mysel#can someone teach me how to fag it up. the construction worker part of this is working right#sighhhh.... i have to go shower. maybe i;'ll have a shower epiphany or something. sighhhhh#sometimes in my head being a woman would be alright. but its like.. i dont even know how to decode it#i think some people would call what im feeling being genderfluid. some people might call it something else. it depends on like. you yknow#and what you want. and what makes you smile. me? not quite so sure anymore#and i think its like. this sounds like its laid quite bare right. but its hard to word even.#but sometimes im like. am i just like. talking ...? yknow what i mean.
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leatherbookmark Ā· 1 year ago
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i'm barely a writer at this point so idk but ngl i'm kinda fascinated by people who raise the question of "if you normally don't like X, then why did you click on my fic in the first place, HMMM?". yknow, i mean, idk how other people do it, maybe it's just me, but i sorta author-jump? and sometimes an author i like has written something i usually don't enjoy, and sometimes i click out of pure curiosity. and when i don't like it, i click out, yeah, it's a nope for me! but when i do like or even adore it, i comment. positively. it's That Simple 4 me
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theartinmyheart Ā· 1 month ago
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#with where I'm at in life rn I've been thinking about my ex a lot and his happiness and quality of life#I'm probably way off to assume that hes unhappy but if I'm comparing where I'm at and where I've last heard he's at..I feel sorry for him#I feel like i got lucky after we broke up bc I started therapy and school and my museum and life#like I was able to learn and unlearn and grow into the person i am now and learn to be my own self w out a partner or family and be content#and then i think about how he had a kid w someone pretty quickly after we broke up and then just got into another serious relationship#like did he process our breakup completely? by the time i had processed it#his new kid was like 2 i think. and thats ok bc that relationship was a huge part of my life and influenced me a lot today#so to think that it took me that long and he was already in another deeeeeep situation makes me wonder if hes happy#I think i'd be miserable. knowing what I know now just on life experience and therapy and school especially#I would never want to be in his shoes. but maybe hes happy living like that#like one of those he doesnt know what hes missing bc he doesnt know what education and therapy and freedom looks like situations#I think bc im v grateful w where im at in life rn I'm wondering if it all worked out for him as well#or honestly if hes just stuck in the same pattern of life he was in when we were together#having two kids out of wedlock#being in a relationship w someone bc they got pregnant#is the relationship healthy? is his son happy?#god i wonder about his son a lot and how he feels knowing his dad has another kid he lives w full time#i truly feel bad for all kids from broken families bc its not what children need at all.#like is he learning and educating himself on important things or is his life monotonous and lacking intellectual stimulation?#I cant imagine being ignorant like I was when we were together so i really hope its not like that for him#Idk lately I've been wondering if we could have been friends but I doubt his relationship is healthy like that lmao#I feel like i just want to sit down and talk w him and catch up but am i too different now? is he? it'd be like meeting a stranger#and that also makes me sad bc that relationship was so significant to my life and to who i am today#but thats how life is. you're never the same person twice and you only experience things once. so this is just how its meant to be#so i really hope he is happy and he has done internal work and is making the most out of his life and his circumstances#he deserves that and more#j#anyways
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ficoandleo Ā· 2 months ago
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. . .However, for that he's doing that and plans on spending the day hosting his little pseudo buffet party, he'a simultaneously aware he's doing something else that day at the same time.
It's been like this for a little while, actually. Leo had explained the likelihood to him. And he'd spoken to Hyde about it too. The island itself was already an anomalous location. So for there to be anomalous occurrences on it was no surprise. They just didn't normally regard time and space.
Another version of himself. Multiple of Taiga. Places being the same but different. Unfamiliar ghouls and staff. Familiar ghouls and staff, but different. But also, he knew them, sometimes he remembered things that weren't his life--but they were his memories too, the memories were from himself, but. . .from another timeline, adjacent to this one. Or the one he was from. Or some other one. He wasn't sure what the core of all of this was. He could tell, though, that usually the only one from 'his' timeline was Leo. Taiga was often close, but not exact. The Taiga's weren't 'his'--but they were, they were his and he was theirs, and there was nothing unfamiliar about anyone even when they were different. Like he, briefly, became the Romeo they knew in some capacity, or rather that he knew the things that he'd been through and he felt like he was him, or. . . .
Time passed differently. A week for every month. He lived a period in time once and then lived it again differently. Sometimes he was in multiple places at once. Sometimes he bounced around through time. Or he knew things he shouldn't know. He thought of Taiga often when he noticed it--Taiga was always knowing things he shouldn't and guessing the future and knowing the past and present he shouldn't know. And yet he didn't feel confused or disoriented by any of it, unlike Taiga. He must be experiencing something different.
He could generally tell which Taiga was which--same with knowing when someone was from another timeline, even without speaking to them first. Nothing happened if he spoke to or touched his other self. When he returned to his time and space and life--or returned to one that was familiar to him, anyway, that felt like 'home' where everyone around was 'his'--all of that fell to the back of his mind and he was unburdened by it. Even living through it he was unburdened by it. It was simply a fact.
The people around him were the people he knew--friends, enemies, acquaintances, strangers, faces in the crowd, lovers past and present(or never but past in their presence)--but different. And oddly enough that didn't stir him any, where changes often did. Because they always had a Romeo. And he was usually himself. And he got to be another himself for a little while, sometimes, sort of, he wasn't sure.
But all of that to say, he would be spending his birthday in Sinostra, perhaps among friends and underlings.
But he would also be in Kabukicho, another pair of R&R permits he'd managed to. . .convince Hyde to give him in his hand. But only in one timeline, where he and @taiga-shark had gone to Italy for his birthday, because Taiga wanted his gift to be Romeo being happy again. And Taiga remembered he was happiest at home. And he was happy. He had fun, once he relaxed. But it felt. . .wrong that Taiga's birthday had been for him.
So he would spend his birthday on Taiga. Maybe taking him places he used to know. Maybe doing things with him that he used to do. Maybe it wouldn't spark any memories that he'd once had. Maybe it wouldn't feel like home anymore. But Italy hadn't quite felt like home for Romeo either.
They had made a few new memories in Italy instead. And they visited the ruins of a place that was once 'home.' So maybe they could make new memories in Kabukicho too. No matter how brief they were. And Taiga's home there--Romeo's home, too, where they lived together--was no ruin.
But whether or not it was home, what mattered was that they were together. They were each other's home.
(Even if he wasn't 'his' Romeo all the time. 'His' Romeo who was 'his' home. But it would feel like his because they would be one for a while. Everything they did and experienced would be essentially the same.)
The whole thing was strange. Existing had been strange lately. And yet it wasn't strange at all. Just a fact.
#blog meta#life in darkwick: romeo#((in the past when i'd rp with multiples and au versions and so on there was a lot of acknoeledgement of 'we are not from the same world'))#(('you're a different version of someone i know than the one that i know' 'you're you but different.'))#((a lot of acknowledge of 'you're not 'MY' you but you are my you now'))#((and when we all have differing headcanons and presentations or there are multiples even when they don't interact i think about it again.))#((everyone is themselves but different and yet no one questions this. sometimes headcanons conform or adapt))#((and i think it's fun personally. i don't want or expect people to use my headcanons or for me to use theirs all the time))#((everyone is the same from adjacent worlds with minor differences and if you think about that as an anomalous occurence it's fascinating))#((or maybe i just think that way lol. like this is totally plausible as far as anomalous occurrences go and neither leo nor romeo mention it#((but they're always like. Aware Of It. mostly because since they're both my character they're actually from the same world/timeline))#((so they talk about it more. because they can tell 'oh you ARE my you!' and they look at how their world differs from others'))#((and then there's the timeline and passage of time with canon compared to real life and the way things might change based on canon release#((it's mid November now in both the game and real life but it'll almost be december by the next episode which'll be mid-laye november ingame#((idk. just. romeo thinking about how he's going to be two places at once and maybe two versions of himself at once and he's aware of that#((and most of all he's just excited to spend time with his friends and partner and live another birthday when he wanted to die so recently))#((something about needing to be perfect and becoming broken and having to live with it. . .on one hand he's still broken on the other#((he's still here anyway. and things are harder but he persists. and. idk. these tags sre getting long and offtopic.))#((just kind of a stream of consciousness post about meta things lmao))
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cursed-spirit-manipulation Ā· 3 months ago
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Need ppl to acknowledge what being a cult leader Means for Suguru. Like that's a choice he made
I need to eat rocks but I do think it's a form of. He doesn't know how to obtain genuine self actualization so he just does what he learned.
He recreates toxic power structures but this time he's the Most Powerful, but it's hollow because he wants genuine human connection but he grew up isolated and then in Fucking Jujutsu Society.
Ripping my hair out
#Suguru and Satoru I think are an interesting case where like. They have privilege primarily financial and idk how to put it#They're powerful bc they're special grade but it goes beyond Physical power into social power#But at the same time it's not a power they Got it's a power they were Born With and they also have shit imposed on them#And like a lot of ppl talk Abt how Satoru was treated as a weapon and this is true but it's also true of like#Most of jujutsu society bc jujutsu society is fucked (I'd say it's pretty cult like which. Yeag)#Like yea they're both deeply tragic and failed by the world they were raised in#But they're also shielded from a lot of things thanks to privilege. Like even just Money#Just AUUUUUGHHHHHH. I need to talk about how jujutsu society fucked them over but they also#Fucked over the ppl less privileged than them and they need space to grieve and acknowledge they were hurt#Without it turning into self pity that ignores the other ppl they hurt#Anyway imho Suguru in canon is not someone I'm interested in redeeming specifically bc of the cult leader thing#On some levels I think it's a case of genuinely not understanding just HOW abusive a position he's given himself bc#He grew up in jujutsu society which is. Nightmare. But also on some level he has to understand the way he's hurting ppl#And no matter how much he genuinely believes it's for the better that doesn't undo SHIT. Like auahauauauughh#He's abusive and he's been doing this shit for TEN YEARS. Satoru KILL HIM ALREADY
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zolo-san Ā· 14 days ago
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I know I just rambled in the tag, but if you took the time to read all that, might I direct you to this post & my ramblings there as well~
Something about Zoro being one of the most misunderstood and mischaracterized characters in One Piece is funny (not haha funny, funny sad) to me because?? Thatā€™s literally how his introduction starts?? With people misunderstanding him and thinking heā€™s some big, monstrous demon who kills with cause and cannot be trusted or tamed.
Meanwhile the actual Zoro is a driven guy who is often both literally and figuratively directionless in life and found his goals in life through good people (first Kuina and then Luffy). He's tied up in the Marine base not due to those actual crimes he commuted (well not inherently anyway) but because he ā€˜disrespectedā€™ a Captain's son and stood up for a little girl. He accepts the challenge they present to him and because Zoro himself is a guy that puts his money where his mouth is he assumes the Marines will uphold their end of the deal and let him go (note the actual shock when Koby tells him the truth)
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He joins Luffy's crew but also outright says heā€™s not gonna let his goal take second place to Luffy or anyone else's for that matter, he bears the weight of two people's dreams, his heart isnā€™t going to be swayed by some pirate.
Speaking of Kuina, her impact and influence on Zoro's life isnā€™t talked about enough for my liking. She was Zoro's first friend, his first rival, his first goal. He looked up to her so much and his reaction to her passing cracks my heart in half every time because you can seem him just..go numb. Kuina, dead? Kuina, the strongest person he knows, gone? Kuina, who swore to him just yesterday theyā€™d race to the top of the world together, doesnā€™t exist anymore. His blank face only cracking within the privacy of his sensei before he begs. He begs on his knees, tears streaming down his face please please please let me take Kuina's sword with me. Let me take our dream to a high neither of us could imagine. I wonā€™t let her name die here.
On top of gaining the Wado Ichimonji that day Zoro also gainedā€¦fear. Not of death, well at the very least not his own, he gained his fear of not being enough. Kuina kicked his ass every way a person could and still died, what could someone like him do? So he trainsā€¦and trainsā€¦and trains some more. Overly, obsessively, constantly telling himself heā€™s not enough, heā€™s weak, he canā€™t protect anyone like this and everyone's death would be on him.
As for Zoro being cold and stoic thatā€™s justā€¦not completely true? Heā€™s not stone, he can be excited or sad or angry just as much as most characters he just sucks at showing it canonically (Kuina thinks he hates her before their final fight after all). Sure heā€™s not as forthcoming about it as some of the other Strawhats but Zoro's more of an action guy anyway, he'll show his love with his protection and unwavering faith.
In conclusion, Zoro is a ridiculously stubborn, incredibly loyal, mildly emotionally constipated, do what you say/say what you mean kinda guy.
(Also that whole ā€˜Zoro would kill the whole crew if Luffy asked him toā€™ thing? Top ten stupidest things Iā€™ve ever heard from the fandom and thatā€™s saying a lot. Heā€™s loyal not brainless and heartless guys if Luffy asked him to do that, he would never but I digress, Zoro would square the fuck up with him so fast. DPMO.)
#I think there's a lot of misunderstanding of Zoro's character within the One Piece Fandom (partly because let's be honest media literacy is#apparently not a common skill and tumblr do be the website where we piss on the poor lol)#I think there's this dumb fanon version of Zoro where people take memes about him a bit too seriously and start to view/characterize him as#this brainless uncaring stoic/emotionless cold dude who can't think for himself and is like a fucking zombie for Luffy#which I'm just like ?????????? bitch where?????? I know media literacy is hard šŸ™„but seriously are we even looking at the same source#material???? and the same character?????#I also think some people misunderstand how Zoro expresses his emotions tbh#He's someone who acts more than he speaks so he expresses a lot through action but that doesn't mean he can't or doesn't verbally express#his emotions or his wants and dreams in fact Zoro very clearly verbally expresses his feelings and dreams/goals quite a bit people just#choose to ignore or not acknowledge it because it doesn't fit into their funny fannon version of him#In a lot of ways Zoro just presents himself as a very traditional Japanese man when it comes it his emotions he's not super outward with#how he feels but it's very clear that he feels his emotions very deeply and cares very deeply for ALL of his friends#Zoro is very much a protector and there are many moments where we see him do a say things that make it VERY clear that he also has a clear#personal moral compass#he is a caring and compassionate character who while he /is/ rough and blunt at times is also soft (i'd like to site that one scene that#makes me cry when I think of it in Alabasta where Zoro washes Choppers back in the bath because that is such a soft and caring moment and a#very vulnerable thing to do I just ;-;) but while one of the most important things to Zoro is to protect his friends (which we see him do#over and over again without any instruction from Luffy - and I agree with op that it probably has A LOT to do with Kuina and the fact that#/he/ couldn't do anything to help or protect her and she despite her being the strongest person he knew she still died) Zoro still clearly#wants to and /does/ continue to pursue his dream#idk man I could write a whole essay about Zoro's character and how so many people don't seem to understand him or mischaracterize him which#is really sad because that happens to in in the actual series as well people make a lot of incorrect assumptions about Zoro#I think the in universe misconceptions/wrong assumptions about Zoro are very intentional on Oda's part tho#He wants the assumed view of Zoro as a cold hearted killer and a 'monster of a man' to be constantly contradicted by who Zoro actually is#and how he acts#I also find it so interesting how unbothered Zoro is by this perception of him by others because Zoro is a very self assured character#he knows who he is and while he has some pride it's not so fragile that he can't push it aside to see that he can be better#also op I can go on for a bit about how influential Kuina was to shaping Zoro into the person he is now and I agree that not enough people#talk about that or give their relationship enough credit#I have a whole side tangent about the way Zoro treats/acts towards women (ya know the thing that pisses off Sanji constantly) has A LOT to
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neverendingford Ā· 4 months ago
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#tag talk#said out loud ā€œI've felt drunk for the past weekā€ and suddenly realized no you idiot that's dissociation#anyway. I've been floating on clouds for a while and I'm absolutely not complaining it feels nice#restarting my meds is maybe what's doing it.#going off and then back on my meds has just been a wild ride all around#oh well. I gotta stay quirky and weird somehow right?#I've been thinking a lot about my breakup and how it wasn't even because of anything except that I got bored of him#and even playing aoe with him is getting boring cause his skill level is way behind me#the only person who moves the same speed as me is my brother. so I'm gonna go with him wherever he goes#I do like him a lot. but also there's the knowledge that if I don't stick with him I'll be way more lonely#moving out with someone else would guarantee that I'm leaving the only person in life who actually gets me#and I would be depriving him of the only other person who even kind of gets him (I won't say I get him fully cause that's a lil arrogant)#idk. I don't dislike it. but I'm trapped nonetheless. my course in life is laid out for me because I have no one else.#I love him but I wish I had more than one person who I could stand being around longer than a few months#idk. I do feel more conscious right now. more aware. I'm glad I have him.#I just wish I wasn't so fundamentally incompatible with every other person except him.#we're damaged in very similar ways and so we match. even the rest of my siblings don't click with me the same way#I guess I'm lucky to have him. if I didn't I would be 100% dead right now#which... certainly would be the easier simpler option#but oh well. I'm cursed to live on this earth until he eventually offs himself#we have a pact that we're gonna talk about the suicide beforehand to turn it into a murder mystery or something#he said he wants my skull if I go first. which honestly would be cool as hell. I'd be happy with my skull sitting on his bookshelf#he wants to travel and he's lined up to have a good job to let him do that. so I think I'll end up coming along#idk. we're together for life because both of us are so incapable of making other meaningful friendships#even his closest friends bother him constantly and he struggles to connect with them#so we vibe in that regard.#sorry if this is depressing as hell. it's just.. idk. we both are likely and certain that we won't die of natural causes#but life keeps getting better. I've got plans to go back to nursing next year and I'm medicated so I should be able to make it through#I've had my current job for over a year which is a personal record for me so I'm kinda stoked about that#I'm getting bored of it but so it won't last forever but nursing should get me something new to work on
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ame-to-ame Ā· 5 months ago
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘ which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack šŸ˜­ it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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teaboot Ā· 3 months ago
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Things that I imagine must be really hard about being in a polycule
Remembering everyone's birthday
Scheduling a group date night where everyone's free
A bad breakup where someone leaves and everyone's messed up about it. Like if it was just me I could wallow in solitude but like damn what do you even do. Talk shit?
Related to 3 but if someone breaks up from the polycule and leaves their stuff behind then who gets dibs. Is it like by seniority or do you draw straws or what
Finding a group Halloween costume that everyone is equally hyped for
Sharing a bathroom if you all live in the same place
Idk about this one but what's the sleeping situation in the summer. Like in the winter having a group pile sounds cozy as fuck but in the summer?? When it's sweaty and awful??? Bruh I'm on the couch
I don't trust ANYONE not to eat my Nutella and for every extra person there's an additional threat I must calculate my defense against
How do you tell someone in the 'cule they need to stop eating pretzel sticks in bed without it feeling like an intervention. Is there an assigned emissary that speaks on behalf of the collective. Again, do you just draw straws? Drawing straws seems like a really good solution to a lot of these actually huh
Is there some kind of self-evaluation system that holds yall back from accidentally becoming a cult do yall just see Kim head out for a date in a white robe one morning and roll with it
Does everyone do their own grocery shopping or is it all like one big trip?
Is there enough room in the fridge for everyone's stuff or does the one with the deepfreeze reign eternal like immortan joe
If I was in a polycule and we all collectively stopped being attracted to the person who genuinely enjoys washing dishes then I don't think I'd be able to break it off with them I think I'd have to just handle that with god
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indecisivemuch Ā· 4 months ago
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hii first of all luv the username cause as a libra rising, samedt ;-; i'd like to make a request for a luke x f!reader fic pls!! um, so they're best friends, and luke decides to confess to r by giving her gifts, letters, trinkets, etc. with hints about his identity, but she doesn't know who they're from. so she asks for luke's help to find out about the identity of her secret admirer. but what if there's like a mistaken identity and she thinks it's someone from the hermes cabin (maybe chris? or one of the stoll brothers idk) and luke's just all pouty but nonchalant or something, but deep down he's like 'how do i even make her see' or something (while also second guessing that maybe he shouldn't confess it's him) like fluff with tiny angst :>
Message in a Bottle
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: You got a secret admirer and recruited Luke to help you find out who they are...ignoring the most obvious option (Fluff, angst, best friends to lovers, happy ending)
Note: I'm so sorry for the six month hiatus. It wasn't by choice, I swear šŸ˜­. So many bad things kept happening that prevented me from writing (is this the writers curse people kept talking about?). Also, the request wanted only a sprinkle of angst, but I kinda got out of hand with it I think šŸ˜­ (sorry).
Word count: 4.4k (whoops)
Youā€™ve always thought that too much of something is bad. Yet, ever since the day your life intertwined with Luke Castellanā€™s, you werenā€™t very sure about that anymore.Ā 
The two of you arrived at camp around the same time, entering a friendship that felt like hitting the jackpot. Your early days together were something that you both treasured dearly. Every time you thought a certain time period would someday be reminisced as the golden days of your friendships, new things would come, and top it off.Ā 
However, golden skies were soon evaded by clouds of pink hues. You found yourself noticing and appreciating small details you havenā€™t noticed before about your best friend. Initially, you acknowledged the growing feeling but decided that they better remain as footnotes in chapters of your life. However, fateā€™s design was different to your plans, because two years later, here you were: you looked at him almost in the same way a fool would look at the world with rose-colored glasses (but then again, maybe it was because you have learned to embrace and adore his flaws).
ā€œLuke!ā€
The Hermes cabin counselor snapped his head towards the sound of your voice, eyes straying from his duty of the hour. A smile began forming on his face as you came to view, almost like he has always been programmed to do so. There was a certain spring in your steps. Moments like these made Luke feel like he was a minimalist because your happiness was somehow enough to guarantee his own.Ā 
You situated yourself next to Luke on the ground, not minding the dirt.
ā€œHey now, Iā€™m meant to be watching these kids train, donā€™t come over and distract me,ā€ the Hermes cabin counselor warned, though he didnā€™t move his eyes away from you. He simply couldnā€™t.
Everything about you served as a distraction to him. From the soft smirk gracing your lips to the innocent tilting of your head. Every little detail about you was captivating and was equally capable of drawing his attention away from wherever it was meant to be.Ā 
In fact, his attention issue around you was getting rather shameless because his friends have begun picking up on it and started teasing him for it. Personally, Luke doesnā€™t think it was his fault. His eyes just happen to draw to you in every room like second nature, while his mind short-circuited every time you were near.Ā 
Maybe, and just maybe being rational and able to function properly has stopped being his forteā€¦at least whenever you were around.
Your eyes moved to the group of kids that were only going to be at camp for the summer. From the looks of it, Luke has just assigned them to practice sword fighting in pairs. You then glanced back at your best friend, discreetly drinking in the sight of him.Ā 
No doubt he did his fair share of demonstration before letting these kids go off on their own, because right now, his face was slightly flushed, veins evident on his forearm while the familiar orange shirt clung onto his body with glistening sweat.
You shook away the non-platonic thoughts and teased him, ā€œOh, come on, you wouldnā€™t pass up on talking to me. You adore me too much.ā€Ā 
Damn right, he does. Luke could feel his cheeks heat up again.
ā€œFine. What are you here for, firecracker?ā€
ā€œI got another gift,ā€ you informed, presenting the bracelet in your hand.Ā 
For the past month, you have been receiving small letters and gifts. This time it was a handmade bracelet with beads of your favorite colors, as well as charms that represented some of your hobbies and favorite things. It was clear that your anonymous admirer had put a lot of thought into such a small item. However, as always, there were no identities attached to it, leaving you clueless about the person behind these gestures.
Luke took your hand in his, eying the accessory that perfectly fitted your wrist. He started toying with the beads around your wrist that were shining in your favorite color.
The boyā€™s gaze flicked from the object to you, catching your soft and warm look. Gods, if you kept looking at him like that, he might just actually stop thinking logically. He could practically feel a confession lingering behind his lips, threatening to spew the second his ropes of restraint died.
ā€œAnyway, I came here with an idea,ā€ you broke the silence. ā€œWhat if I try to find out who this person is? I mean, some of these gifts are quite specific. They seem to know my favorite color, flowers, and things I like. Surely, it wouldnā€™t be that hard to narrow it down and figure it out?ā€
Something shifted in your best friendā€™s behavior and you could feel it. There was a slight flustering look on Lukeā€™s face as he avoided eye contact with you. It was rather strange to see the Hermes cabin counselor so fidgety. Luke has always been confident and composed, and youā€™d often be the one to humble down his playful cocky remarks. Half-way through looking at his behavior, you began speaking:
ā€œYouā€¦ā€
Luke could feel the blood draining from his face at your facial expression, his face paling despite how flushed he was seconds ago from demonstrating sword fighting. The boy tried to regain his composure, though his attempt at seeming nonchalant failed as you touched his arm. Did youā€”
ā€œYou can be my inside man, talk to these guys to see if theyā€™d slip up or something like that.ā€Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t think thatā€™s a very good idea,ā€ Luke hastily replied, clearing his throat.
ā€œOh, Iā€™m sorry. Did that come across as a suggestion? I hate to break it to you but being best friends means you sorta have to participate in my schemes,ā€ your lips curled as Luke grunted at your words.Ā 
ā€œYeah, butā€”ā€
ā€œLuke, pleaseā€¦itā€™ll be fun,ā€ he almost scoffed at your words and unconvincing argument. Clearly, the two of you had different definitions of fun. Just as he opened his mouth to reject your idea again, his eyes caught yours. You were looking at him in such an eager and heart-warming gaze that it made him forget what he was intending to say.
Ah, there was no denying anymore. Being rational and able to function properly has truly stopped being his forte.
ā€œFine,ā€ Luke uttered, the word pricking his tongue as regret started kicking in as he accepted being your accomplice. This decision could only come back to bite him in the ass. He watched as you quickly celebrated his lack of restraint.
ā€œAh, you gave in quite quickly,ā€ you jabbed.
ā€œShut up.ā€
Oh, you were going to be the death of him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two days have passed since you got Luke to agree to help you find your secret admirer. Though, the boy must say, the last forty eight hours have been slightly comedic for him, watching you trying to track down your secret admirerā€¦
While the real sender of those gifts was right beside you, nodding along to your every word.Ā 
Lukeā€™s mind trailed to the origin of this ā€œsecret admirerā€ idea. He started it as a way to abate the urge of straight-up blurting out how love-struck he was with his own best friend, while also testing out the waters before finally confessing his feelings for you.Ā 
Though it was slightly amusing how the idea led him to where he was right at that moment. The Hermes cabin counselor zoned out as he pretended to speak to another boy you thought was behind those sweet gifts and letters.Ā 
Luke used to have those feelings under rein, but self-repression only caused it to grow exponentially. Initially, the Hermes cabin counselor dismissed those beyond friendly thoughts, thinking they would eventually fizzle away. However, against his predictions, this fondness towards you became a sort of companion to him for three long years.Ā 
Not only that, years of excessively burying these feelings six feet underground also came back to bite him in the ass because instead of having his feelings under control, they now have the upper hand.Ā 
Sometimes he felt like a puppet, while his feelings plucked the strings. His facial expressions were forever cursed to be sculpted in raw yearning whenever around you, having no choice over how he reacts to everything related to you.
But it didnā€™t matter, because he was going to finally confess soon.
Luke almost burst out laughing at the way you were standing in anticipation, waiting for his intel on the most recent candidate. It was entertaining, to say the least, pretending to engage in investigative conversation before heading back to you, shaking his head in feigned disappointment.Ā 
However, it didnā€™t take long before the Hermes cabin counselor started feeling sour.
Just as he made it back to your side, he watched as you started talking again, already discussing the next guy you thought might have done these things that Luke himself came up with. He eyed your in sync footsteps with a heavy heart. Despite the matching movement, he somehow still felt eternally behind. Luke was so close, yet so far away, and never quite able to grasp onto your ever moving attention.Ā 
Did you not consider him as an option at all? Did you truly not see him as anything other than a good friend? It started stinging him knowing you were considering all these other guys as potential candidates ā€” the faces that now haunt him in his sleep, poisoning his mind with an acidic jealousy that was eating away his common senses and fueling immoral thoughts.Ā 
Soon enough, that same jealousy seared his mind with this overwhelming self-doubt. Lukeā€™s foot started feeling cold at the thought of confessing. Gods, he never thought the same security behind anonymity would now make him feel desperate to be seen by you.Ā 
ā€œMaybe I should give up,ā€ you concluded, mindlessly staring ahead. Your attention elsewhere gave Clarisse and Chris an opportunity to send each other knowing looks. The two have been watching you run around in circles on a goose hunt, not knowing to look right behind at the sulking figure that was trailing after you.Ā 
Your distracted state also meant you didnā€™t notice the moping human situated beside you. However, hearing your declaration of ending your chase, Luke saw a window of opportunity. Maybe now was finally the time to be truthful. After all, if he doesnā€™t tell you, then how will you know and see him? Lukeā€™s momentary motivation carried him through waves of dejection.
ā€œY/N, I need to tell you something,ā€ Luke blurted out without much more thought or preparation, and his tone made you fully turn to him. Just as words finally formed and the boy opened his mouth to tell youā€”
ā€œHey Y/N, can I talk to you privately?ā€ Somebody interrupted. Your eyes didnā€™t leave Luke immediately, but when you saw your best friendā€™s momentum had faltered, you turned to the stranger. It was another Hermes boy, somebody who youā€™ve seen around. You politely agreed and left with him.Ā 
ā€œSo, I heard youā€™ve been looking for the person whoā€™s been giving you anonymous gifts. And well, itā€™s your lucky day, 'causeā€¦ā€ the boy stared you up and down while you subconsciously took a small step back when he leaned forward. ā€œ...Iā€™ve decided to come forward and reveal myself.ā€
ā€œOkayā€¦well, prove itā€ you squinted. Though your skepticism didnā€™t make the Hermes boy in front of you falter. Clearly, he expected this.
ā€œThe first thing you were given was a note, andā€¦the two most recent gifts were a cassette tape and a bracelet ā€” which was made from beads of your favorite color and charms likeā€¦ā€ you zoned out as the boy started listing out some of your favorite activities that were indeed the charms on your bracelet. You fiddled with the bracelet that you had purposefully hidden out of his view right behind your back.
There was a pinch in your heart that signaled the last bit of hope dying.Ā 
Ohā€¦so Luke really wasnā€™t your secret admirer.
You internally scoffed at yourself. You should have known right after he said yes to helping you out with finding your secret admirer ā€” which was originally an idea used as bait to determine if Luke was the sender or not, because if it was really him then he wouldnā€™t have agreed to help you out with this. However, not only did your best friend agree without much convincing from you, but he had seemed so nonchalant and unaffected as you named all these boys you wanted him to talk to.Ā 
Perhaps this secret admirer thing was something good. Somebody has shown interest and their actions have been nothing but sweet. Those letters contained words that were eternally bound to your memories, even altering the way you view yourself for the better. Maybe you could get to know this person and move on from hopelessly crushing on your best friend.Ā Ā 
Halfway through, you realize you were so engulfed in your thoughts that you have zoned out to half of the things the Hermes boy was saying, and merely caught onto the last bit of his speech:
ā€œ...thinking maybe we could go on a date and get to know each other more tonight?ā€
Your stomach churned again, yet you nodded your head.
Move on. Move on. Move on. Move on.Ā 
Your friends gave you questioning looks when you got back to where they were, clearly curious about what you were pulled away for.
ā€œSoā€¦that was my secret admirer, and Iā€™m going on a date with him tonight,ā€ you hoped you sounded more enthusiastic than you were feeling. You tried convincing yourself at least it was good knowing definitely how your best friend actually felt about you. Quickly sitting down, you kept your eyes on Clarisse, knowing if you even looked over at Luke, heā€™d be able to tell straight away that something was wrong.
Your lack of focus also meant you didnā€™t think much of the quiet murmur from your best friend: ā€œSorry, I just remember I need to do something.ā€
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time. It was now the afternoon and you just finished getting ready for your date. As you were leaving, you spotted a note at the foot of your cabin. Seeing your name written on the paper, you picked it up while eying it peculiarly.
ā€œYou could be the one that I love,Ā 
I could be the one that you dream of,
Message in a bottle is all I can do,Ā 
Standing here hoping it gets to you.ā€
Your gut feeling stirred, hitting you with waves of higher certainty over suspicions you have previously had and denied.
Those lyrics were directly associated with a memory from summer two years ago.Ā 
Luke and you were sitting by the campfire when he asked what your favorite song was. You told him the name and mentioned you hadnā€™t listened to it in a while because using technology devices with signals were dangerous for Demigods. The conversation slipped your mind but clearly loitered in your best friendā€™s mind, because two months later while on your way back to camp from your quest together, he gifted you a tape player along with a cassette of said song along with others that you liked.
You blinked away the image of you leaning on Lukeā€™s shoulder while the two of you listened to the song together on the train back to camp.
You re-read the note again while shaking your head. Perhaps it was a coincidence. Perhaps, that Hermes boy knew the song and it was also one of his favorites. Perhapsā€”
Your hand started trembling around the paper. Your eyes landed on one small detail in the note: a particular handwriting choice. The rest of it matched with previous notes, but there was one singular scribbling feature youā€™ve never seen used before.Ā 
Everything came crashing down and your internal eternal cycle of excuses and denial shattered.
You ran. It didnā€™t matter that it was raining and your attire was getting soaked. It didnā€™t matter at all because you were frustrated and confused. In other instances, you would have been elated at the possibility of mutual affection, but in that moment, exasperation blinded you from sensibility.Ā 
If what you have concluded was true, then why on Earth would he allow you to go on a date with a person who stole credit for things they didnā€™t do? This whole time, he made you feel like a fool ā€” for waiting that long and having hope after all that time; for asking the person you were looking for to hunt them down with you; for sulking despite having what you thought was a good opportunity to come along; for borderline going on a date with an imposter; and for not seeing it all along that it was him.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s you, isnā€™t it?ā€ you called out.
Despite the rain, you could see your best friendā€™s figure stiffened before turning around to face you. The boy stood with his hands behind his back, not yet daring to look at you.Ā 
ā€œThe ā€œthā€. You connected the cross in the ā€˜tā€™ directly to the ā€˜hā€™,ā€ you presented the note in your hand, pointing specifically at the slip up that Luke had made in the latest note, not caring of the raindrops that were hitting the paper. ā€œItā€™s how I write it, and you started writing it the same way a year after we got to know each other because you liked the way it looked,ā€ you pressed further.
The expression on Lukeā€™s face painted your theory into the truth of the situation. You felt your hand slightly shaking at the revelation.
ā€œWhy? You left anonymous gifts and notes and watched me put on this hunt ā€” which by the way, was for you. And didnā€™t even say anything when a guy lied and said he was my secret admirer? Is this one big cruel prank?ā€
ā€œNoā€”ā€
ā€œOh! Well then, surely at one point in this whole thing, you felt like you should just tell me?ā€Ā 
ā€œI was going to.ā€
ā€œThen where were you when I was just about to head out with that fraud? Maybe if you really liked me and really cared for me, like all those damn notes say, you would have fought for mā€”ā€
ā€œI did,ā€ Luke finally raised his voice, his face briefly hardened in an attempt to convey his desperation. His chest heaved, and the way it did almost made you think the anger radiating off every inch of his skin right then was directed towards you. But it wasnā€™t, and he knew you knew.Ā 
ā€œI confronted him right after he claimed that he was the one who gave you all those things.ā€Ā 
Invisible ivies rooted your foot to the ground. You gulped, trying to digest the information you were given. However, it finally sunk in when Lukeā€™s hands appeared from behind his back. It was then that you could see the bandage wrapped around his knuckles. Your breath hiccuped in both flattery and worry at the implication of what he had done. The darkness behind those deep hazel-brown orbs reflected a certain side of your best friend that you hadnā€™t seen before. Although, part of you felt like you wouldnā€™t mind it.
It made Lukeā€™s blood boil knowing what he dedicated to you from the bottom of his heart was spoiled by ill intentions. Luke should have known better than to carelessly write all the letters and craft those gifts right on his bunk bed, rather than discreetly.Ā 
Once again, the Hermes cabin counselor was pulled back to memories from an hour ago. The way the other boy shot remarks at Lukeā€™s lack of precautions, boasting his wrong-doings like someone incapable of having a guilty conscience. Luke's jaw tightened as the image of the sly smirk on the other Hermes boy's face flashed in his mind, but a wave of satisfaction ran through him as he recalled how quickly that smirk was wiped away by his own fist.
They might be brothers by a fraction, but blood or not, that boy was dead to Luke the second he tried tricking you.
ā€œAnd no, I wouldnā€™t have let you go out with a fraudster. Never,ā€ Lukeā€™s eyes softened. ā€œAnd in case itā€™s not implied enough: I like youā€¦a lot. I was going to confess but then this guy came along lying,ā€ Luke could feel that tremor returning once more to his fist. He hated that something he built, from scratch, on the foundation of sincerity was momentarily tainted by the hands of a spineless liar. Not only that, he hated witnessing somebody so dear to him getting deceived in such a tasteless manner.
ā€œI alsoā€¦didnā€™t want to get hurt. It was starting to seem like you would ever consider me as more than just a friend with the way you were listing out all these other guys. So for a bit there I was considering just keeping quietā€¦foreverā€ he confessed, eyes now straying away from you and down to his shoes.
You observed your best friend through a new perspective. So your initial suspicions were true. You had thought it was him because all the things you have received hinted to somebody who knew you so well, and who else at camp but Luke knew this many things about you. But ultimately, another part of you ā€” the proclaimed ā€œlogicalā€ side ā€” has hyper-analyzed every split second you two have shared and deemed that Luke has not given any true signs of interest in you beyond as a friend. Thus, you dismissed the thought of Luke being your secret admirer.
You know now to trust your gut feelings more.
ā€œOh, Luke Castellan, you dumb assā€¦ā€ you spoke softly underneath your breath, but you knew he heard you perfectly clearly from the way he slightly peered up. Your heart almost shattered at the dejected look on your best friendā€™s face and the thought of him burying his feelings eternally. You sure as hell would not allow that to be this timeline.
ā€œIā€™ve liked you ever since the day you went out of your way and gave me that first cassette tape,ā€ the marveled look on Lukeā€™s face over your confession made you continue, ā€œI guess I should have known it was youā€¦cause gift giving has always been your love language.ā€ It seemed like the boy was too stunned and struck frozen. However, his shell-shock state didnā€™t last long, because soon, your best friendā€™s gaze reverted back to the way he has always looked at you, only slightly more intense.
Your eyes fluttered at the sight of Luke Castellan in front of you at that moment. You were finally able to see the effect youā€™ve always had on him. The way his lips hung slightly agape, eyes dilated in such a way you were no longer able to see their usual color anymore, chest slightly heaving despite lack of physical reasons for such a reaction. You almost wanted to hit yourself for being such a fool and not spotting these details sooner.Ā 
ā€œNow, Castellanā€¦you have two options,ā€ you stepped closer to him, leaving an appropriate amount of personal space in between. ā€œYou either kiss me orā€”ā€
Luke grabbed your wrist with his uninjured hand and pulled you in. The same hand-guided your arms around his neck while also effectively eliminating the remaining distance between you two.Ā 
Without hesitation, he kissed you.
Likewise, you returned the action without a second thought. You frankly didnā€™t care about the rain that was soaking the both of you. Kissing Luke felt like such a natural act that it felt simply like diving home. The way he held you made you feel like you were a national treasure he was so afraid of losing. Gods, you donā€™t think you mind doing this ever so often.
Though, there was a certain urgency in the way Luke kissed you, as if afraid youā€™d either vanish or youā€™d change your mind. You pressed your lips harder against his, hoping heā€™d understand you didnā€™t intend on leaving or having a change of heart.
A grunt escaped his throat as you kissed him harder. Oh, Luke Castellan already knew he was in immense trouble. He knew almost immediately that the concerning number of thoughts he had about you each day would only increase tenfold from this day on. He wondered if you could taste all of his unspoken words. If kissing you felt like this, he might as well sign away his heart, body, and mind to you. In fact, heā€™d sign anything you put in front of him without even considering the fine prints.Ā 
Luke slowly backed you against a tree, giving you a bit of support to lean against whilst shielding the both of you from the heavy rain. He smiled into the kiss as you hummed at his action, feeling it echo against his lips. His heart tugged, almost leaping out of his chest when your hands made their way to both sides of his face, cupping it intently like holding something yours. Yours. Fuck, he loved the sound of that.Ā 
You were the first to break the kiss. The both of you gasped for air while maintaining eye contact. The close-up view of his intense gaze drove your cheeks rosy. You could not help but admire the way his locks of wet curly hair clung onto his forehead, while raindrops fell from his face, some following the length of his eyelashes before falling ā€” Oh, the way he glanced down at your lips at that second made you feel almost like you had the power to convince him into anything at the moment.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re my best friendā€¦ā€ he broke the silence.
ā€œMhm.ā€
ā€œ...but what if I want you to be more than that?ā€
ā€œI can be both,ā€ Lukeā€™s lips broke out into a smile, and you mirrored his facial expression. He leaned his forehead against yours whilst softly rubbing his thumb soothingly against your waist.
ā€œIā€™m not against that.ā€Ā 
As a larger grin broke out on your lips, Lukeā€™s eyes further softened. He realized right there and then that anything you wanted, he would not be against it. A breath of relief quietly escaped beneath Lukeā€™s breath. He could not wait for whatever was in store for the both of you in the future.
Good thing his messages in a bottle did get to you.
-------------------------
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mysecretlittlelibrary Ā· 2 years ago
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NFWMB (Nothing Fucks With My Baby)
Pairing:Ā Reader x Venom
Word Count:Ā 2.4k
Warnings:Ā you get kidnapped, there's some cannon level violence, nothing to write home about <3
Genre: idk if I should really classify this as angst fr but the ending is fluffy!
Summary:Ā Carnage returns, his mission remains the same; kill Venom. And he plans to use you to do it.
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Based on this ask by @weebnotheree (thank you so much for the request, I know it took a while so I appreciate your patience, I hope you like it <3)
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***
"Hey y/n!" Your coworker skirts over to your desk with curious excitement.
"Yes?" You glance up from your computer at her.
"Your boyfriend is a reporter isn't he?"
"Correct. Where is this going exactly?"
"Well do you think he'd be able to come cover the charity gala this weekend?" She asks.
"He doesn't really- cover this sort of thing? He'd need to get assigned to it. But I can check with him, he can ask his boss and maybe they'll send someone else down." You concede. It can't hurt, after all, you do need the exposure for the event anyway.
Hours later, after you've both gotten home from work and eaten dinner. You're winding down for the day with Eddie by watching a show together when you propose the question from your coworker.
"Eddie quick question." You say, not lifting your head from his shoulder.
"Yeah?" He's been tracing patterns against your leg for the past ten minutes.
"Do you think you could come cover the charity gala this weekend? My coworker Dani thought it'd be a good idea." You tell him.
"I don't usually write those sorts of pieces." He hums.
"I know I told her, but I also told her I'd ask anyway. It doesn't have to be you, if your boss sends someone else that's fine. We're just aiming to get more eyes on the event." You shrug.
"I'll talk to my boss. He'll probably send someone. Not me though."
"Yeah that's fine, I know these aren't your thing, you don't have to come." You say.
"Say what?" You feel him shift to look at you.
"I drag you to enough work functions. I'll let you skip out on this one." You pat his chest lightly.
"Don't have to tell me twice." Eddie snorts turning back to the TV.
"Technically I already did tell you twice." You chuckle.
"Smartass." He pinches your thigh.
"Always." You sit up just to wink at him.
The following day, you are accosted by Dani pretty much as soon as she walks into the office.
"Did you ask him?"
"Ask who, what Dani?" You ask though you know exactly what she's talking about. "Also have you forgotten that the proper way to start a conversation is with a greeting? What happened to hi? What happened to how are you?"
"Hi, how are you? Did you ask your boyfriend about covering the gala?" She says.
"Hi Dani, I'm doin' alright. How are you?" You ask her.
"Y/n!" She huffs.
"Yes Dani I asked. He said he'd talk to his boss. Knowing Eddie, someone will probably be at the gala. It's handled." You finally cave and give her the answers she came for.
"You're the best!" She tells you.
"I know, thanks." You chuckle. You shrug.
The day of the gala is chaos from the minute preparations start. It's not really anything that surprises you and you've been handling everything that comes your way with ease.
"Y/n!" Your coworker Wendy grabs your attention when you're sorting out something with one of the photographers.
"Yes Wendy?" You aks.
"The uh catering staff is here do you know where they're supposed to-"
"They just got here?! They were supposed to be here an hour ago! Who was on that? They should've been checking for- oh never mind! Their tables are over there on that wall and tell them to hurry Wen the event is literally starting." You sigh pointing her in the right direction. The event is just gaining momentum, doors opened about twenty minutes ago and aside from the catering situation that has just been taken care of, as far as you know, everything is precisely as it should be. At least you hope so since you did come here a couple of hours in advance to make sure things were ready. You aren't technically in charge of this event but you are naturally better at organizing chaos and these events tend to be a bit of a frenzy on the day no matter how prepared you are in advance.
Tonight is your company's annual charity gala. Every year the board votes on a cause to raise money for by hosting a huge party. This year's cause is a charity that supports kids getting involved in the arts. There are a bunch of art projects on display, some of which will be up for auction at the end of the evening, but the goal is to shmooze with the community members effectively enough that they want to support the charity. You spend most of these galas working optics; talking to reporters, setting up pictures, and just generally organizing things throughout the night. As part of the company's public relations department events like these are your specialty. Carefully curating the perception of everything that goes on here tonight with the help of the other members of the department here tonight.
You're pleased to say that a couple of hours in, the event is going off without a hitch. Once it's in full swing, you have your hands full giving statements to different press outlets and sending photographers to snap the board of directors with guests of the event. Just as you're preparing the host for his introductory speech, you notice a small crowd gathering by one of the large glass windows overlooking the city.
"What's going on over there?" The host frowns at you.
"I'm- not sure. Probably just some nightlife chaos got people's attention." You shrug but before you can walk up the stage there's a shout from a few of the guests followed by the sound of shattered glass as something crashes through that large window. The room erupts into chaos as red goop shoots out at people. It only takes you a couple of moments to realize the thing currently ruining your gala is Carnage. You didn't meet him or anything last time they faced off, but Eddie gave you enough of a description to come to that conclusion when you spot the bright red tentacles and eyes so like Venom's but different at the same time.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me." You huff quietly from where you're crouched behind a curtain with the gala host.
"What is that thing?!" He hisses.
"Doesn't matter. Find the nearest exit and run like hell." You tell him.
"What?! You want me to go out there?! What if it sees me?" He shakes his head. You poke your head out just enough to see Carnage. Weirdly enough he just seems to be picking up people and dropping them on the ground again.
"You ever seen that thing before?" You ask.
"God no!"
"He's looking for something. Unless you think it's you, I'd suggest taking the risk before he starts getting snackish!"
"W-what?!"
"We know you're here! We did our RESEARCH!" The man beside you is practically shaking as Carnage's deep voice rings through the room.
"He's coming this way, you have to move now." You say.
"What about you?"
"He's more likely to notice two of us. I'll be out after you." You're so busy directing the guy you don't realize how close Carnage is to you all until the curtain you're behind is ripped off its bar.
"AHA! THERE YOU ARE!"
"GO! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" You shout to the guy as Carnage reaches for- you. He's reaching for you, you realize only when one spindly spider-like appendage wraps around your waist.
"How noble of you. We weren't after him- but if you must be the hero-" Carnage easily reaches the scrambling host before he can get to the door and all you can do is shut your eyes tight when Carnage lifts him up. It's only when his screams stop suddenly and something warm drips onto your arm that you're sure is blood. You don't dare to check what Carnage has done, but if you had to guess, he bit his head off; much like Venom does when you or Eddie allows him to. Your eyes only shoot open when Carnage starts to move again, swinging back out the hole he came in through and taking you through the city. You're in the air for quite some time before eventually, Carnage drops you, rather gently for a kidnapper, on the ground inside a dusty building.
"Hello, little thing." Carnage says to you.
"I could have sworn Venom dealt with you already." You cross your arms.
"Almost. I was lucky to escape."
"Unfortunate for the rest of us." You muse.
"Rude!"
"Let me remind you that you did kidnap me so excuse me if I'm not kind." You roll your eyes. "I take it my role is to lure Venom to you? Right?"
"Correct. He cares for you. So he will come."
"Of course, he will. Though, disrupting my work event was an unnecessary scene just to lure him out to- where are we?"
"An old firehouse!"
"Wow you really are a baby." You scoff realizing he's chosen another location where loud noise is common.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing nothing. I presume you have a different host now right? That other guy, the serial killer, died the last time, didn't he?"
"I am bonded to his blood! I can regenerate!"
"I'm sorry- so you regeneratedā€¦ an entire head for your last host?"
"Yes!"
"That is- very strange." You frown. "Still, this place doesn't hold sentimental value to Cletus so- how will they find you?"
"Oh just call them." Cletus makes an appearance, finally, and rolls his eyes as he makes his request.
"Call them? You want me to call them and lead them to where you plan to kill them?"
"Yes. Or I'll kill you."
"That would be stupid. Killing me won't get you what you want." You scoff.
"CARNAGE! YOU TOOK MY CHOCOLATE DROP! I'M GOING TO RIP YOU TO SHREDS!!"
"Guess we don't need to call him." Carnage says pushing you into the fire engine that's collecting dust in the unused building.
"WAS DYING ONCE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!" Venom stomps towards Carnage.
"Father. I'm not that easy to get rid of!"
"EVIDENTLY!" Venom charges at Carnage and the two of them are quickly destroying the old brick firehouse you're occupying. From inside the fire truck you're in, it's hard to tell who's winning for most of the fight. It's all too quick and too fluid the way they're throwing each other around. By the time you've gotten a handle on what's going on between the duo, Carnage has Venom pinned to one of the walls that they haven't totally ruined already. Frantically you turn towards the control panel of the fire engine, you can't imagine it's still fully operational but there's a chance you can find some way to make noise with this thing. You need to give Venom the upper hand somehow.
"V!" You shout and cover your ears for only a moment before pressing as much of your weight as you can into the horn of the truck and hoping for the best. You can't explain the relief that you feel when that horrid loud noise fills the small space and Carnage screeches. You let up on the horn once he stumbles away from Venom, his attention on you now that you've gotten involved.
"You!" Carnage snarls. You lay into the horn again before he can get to you and the sound seems to disrupt him enough to almost completely separate him from Cletus. You let up when Eddie has crept up behind them and Venom takes over to fully rip Carnage from Cletus by force. You didn't think that was possible and it is extremely strange to watch. Venom grabs Cletus with an extra appendage and holds him far in the air as he eats the angry red goop that is Carnage.
"EVEN WORSE THE SECOND TIME." Venom grumbles and you can't help but giggle a little. The noise makes Venom wink at you before turning his attention to Cletus. "THIS TIME STAY DEAD!" Venom says before biting his head off, out of your line of sight. You come out of the fire truck just in time to catch him dropping the body.
"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Venom runs over to you and lifts you into his arms so you're eye level with him as he looks over you for injuries.
"I'm fine V. He didn't actually hurt me. You got here so quickly." You muse.
"EDDIE WAS WATCHING COVERAGE OF YOUR GALA." Venom explains.
"It was going so well until he crashed it." You pout. "You don't have any other errant children we should know about right Venom?"
"NO. NOT THAT I KNOW OF." Venom shrugs lowering you back to the ground.
"Good because this kidnapping thing is very inconvenient." You say. Eddie chooses that moment to reappear and he quickly wraps his arms around you.
"Y/n, baby, thank fuck you're okay. I am so sorry." He breathes out.
"You're sorry? What for?" You frown as you hug him back.
"If I had just come to the damn gala in the first place-" You pull back and hold Eddie's face in your hands to make sure he hears what you say next.
"No. It wouldn't have changed anything. In fact, it would actually have been worse I think. There were hundreds of people in that building and we were on one of the higher floors. The casualties if you had fought him there would have been so not worth it. This was the best outcome. I'm sure there were several injuries but I think there was only one death besides him so- don't apologize. Especially because there was no way you could've predicted him crashing my event. Don't blame yourself because other than a ruined charity gala and the inconveniences that come with a kidnapping, I've barely got some scrapes. You two did well." You tell him.
"We couldn't have done it without you. The fire horn was a great idea."
"Yeah well, you were going to die. And I didn't have any fire." You shrug. "We should get out of here though, I can't imagine it'll take much longer for authorities to get here in search of the red monster that crashed a charity event." You add.
"True. The party looked beautiful by the way. You know, before Carnage trashed it." Eddie says scooping you into his arms.
"Thank you baby." You kiss his cheek just before Venom appears again to take you all home.
"I WANT A KISS TOO! I DID ALL THE WORK."
"You can have as many kisses as you want V." You say kissing his cheek too as he walks out of the trashed fire station with you in his hold.
"I WANT ALL THE KISSES THEN!" He declares as he swings you both up into the air.
"Once we get home I'll kiss you til my lips fall off if you so wish my love." You giggle.
"NOT THAT MANY! IF THEY FALL OFF I WON'T GET ANY MORE IN THE FUTURE!"
"Okay okay. Reasonable amount of kisses, once we get home. Deal?"
"DEAL!" Venom says before taking off from building to building to get you home. There's no such thing as normal when your boyfriend is sharing his body with an alien you suppose, but you wouldn't have it any other way.
***
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elucubrare Ā· 2 years ago
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What are your biggest turn-offs when reading/watching historical fiction or retellings of myths?
this is really complicated - i can put it in two boxes, both of which are packed very full.
disconnection from the material reality of the past
when characters display a very specifically modern mindset (about social issues especially, but other stuff too)
(I also get bothered by some kinds of modern language - I don't mind it when, idk, an author uses "sensible" with the modern connotation of "practical" and not the 18th century "emotional" or "empathetic", but "yeah" or "okay," or even, as i found out when someone used it in medieval fantasy, "holy shit" will get on my nerves.)
there are modern things where (made up example!) a character who's supposed to be a cook will talk about making caprese salad for a fancy restaurant in December, and someone snarking on the book will say "yeah, right, they should know better than to make something that depends on a fresh summer vegetable!" and even with greenhouses, that's pretty fair. and that's even more extreme in the past. it's 1650 in Verona, it's December, you cannot obtain fresh tomatoes. i don't think this means that people in the past were, necessarily, more emotionally or spiritually in tune with the cycle of the year, or the labor it took to get clothes, or furniture, or any other material item, and of course wealth can insulate people from some of that difficulty, but it does mean that the seasons had more direct impact on people's lives. It's possible to, for example, buy clothes ready-made, but for anything fancy, it's more likely that it'll be made to fit if it's new, or altered extensively and painstakingly if it's not. that means that tearing or staining a fancy dress isn't just an issue of looking bad - you can't just replace it, and you probably won't throw it out - you figure out how to reuse it. those concerns of access to material goods are just a lot closer to the surface of the world than they often are now.
my objections to modern attitudes about the world are not that people in the past 100% accepted the views of their contemporaries - there were always people who didn't, and it makes sense that a protagonist would be one of them. but people wouldn't phrase those objections in the same way that modern people would - say your main character doesn't want a woman accused of being a witch burned. "God's power is such that the Devil cannot give this woman the ability to sour milk" is most likely going to be more persuasive to the crowd than "witches aren't real." and sometimes that's rough - it's not super fun to read about a Roman with Roman attitudes about provincial wars, or slavery in the city, but I put something down because a Roman character said (in internal dialogue) that he was disgusted to see that a man had been tortured because "Romans simply didn't do that." Historical Romans did do that, routinely - a slave could not testify in a law court unless they had been tortured. Even with distasteful things like that, I'd much rather it just be glossed over than to have them say the "correct" modern thing. It just makes it feel too much like the theme park version of the culture.
Both of these are because of specific things I come to historical fiction for - I want that sense of alienation, the gulf of experience. I hate that most historical fiction (and fantasy set in semi-recognizable periods) characters don't really care about Honor, except as a joke, because I love when characters organize their lives around arcane rules and systems that cause tiny things to escalate into blood feud. I just think they're neat! I like it when people's worldviews are shaped by their lack of scientific certainty about what causes crops to fail! If I wanted to read about people who thought and acted like me, and had lives that were mostly similar to mine, only cooler, I'd just read contemporary fiction.
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shouyuus Ā· 6 days ago
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Imagine Vi when she gets jealousā€¦ šŸ¤­
Iā€™ve seen this theory on tiktok saying that Caitlyn would be the jealous type, and Vi would be the more laid back one. But idkā€¦
Caitlyn grew up as an only child, so she was used to getting everything she wanted, and never had to share. But with Vi, she had a sibling and other people to take care of. So sheā€™s used to sharing everything.
But imagine if her s/o were to make her jealous on purpose. I do not think she would take it too lightly šŸ‘€
Idk, what do you think?
mmMMmmm yes good for sure let's talk about it; slight to medium angst ahead (w/ slight suggestiveness at the end), don't say i didn't warn you now !!
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bc i think vi would be jealous, but i think it'd be different than cait's specific brand of jealousy, right. bc i think the thing on tiktoks not wrong like, cait's always had stuff belong to her, and vi's always had to share, but like i don't think it's the sharing aspect that would get to vi, it would be like her being deeply afraid that you might leave her (haha i love PAIN). because her whole life, all she's known is loss, and her biggest fear is change, right? but like... you lose people enough times and it's hard to stop from wondering if it's you and not them :( and her insecurities would be that someone else is making you feel xyz, and not her instead
like if someone else were to buy you a drink at a bar, or tell you a joke and make you laugh, she'd get SO jealous that she's not the one doing it, or that you're not smiling at her like that, and she'd wonder if you liked that person better than her. and to a certain degree, i do think that like it would come off in the same way, like jealous gf is do be jealous. but the root of it would be different.
and no, i don't think she'd take it lightly at all if her s/o were doing it on purpose.
she'd make short work of whoever the fuck is with you, either slip an arm around your waist or just tap them on the shoulder and --
"sorry, you're just in the way of me and my girlfriend here --"
and i think it'd manifest at first as anger. bc that's how a lot of vi's feelings manifest LOL and she'd be mad and yank you behind her, pull you somewhere private, be like --
"what was that?"
"what was..." you frown, concern flashing in your eyes as you look over her face. and her expression is so tight, so guarded. it's been so long since you've seen her like this. "vi...? you know that... i wasn't serious about that... right?"
she scoffs, "yeah? seemed like you were having a pretty good time --"
"i -- i was just trying to get us some free drinks! a-and..." you chew on your lips, looking away, "i -- i thought it'd be hot to... i dunno... make you jealous..."
vi sighs, her breath thready as she runs her hands through her hair.
"god, dollface..." she sounds exhausted and wired all at once, and you can't help feeling a sharp spate of guilt twist in your gut.
"vi... i'm so sorry -- i didn't mean --"
she lets out a shaky breath, reaching forward to cup your face with both her hands, her eyes overbright and desperate.
"just... don't -- i'm --"
you curl your fingers around hers, press your cheek into the warmth of her palms.
"i'm not... i'd never leave you, vi..."
she leans forward at your words, presses her forehead against you. a soft, helpless chuckle echoes from her chest to yours.
"yeah? gonna be mine forever, cupcake?"
you laugh, nodding, even as she tugs you forward to graze your lips along hers.
"yeah -- i'm always gonna be yours, vi."
she hums against your lips, her hands trailing down to your neck, pulling you close, and then closer.
"good," she breathes, her voice dipping low as a summer sunset, and nearly just as hot, "now say it again --" she drops her lips to your neck, biting a line down the column of your throat.
you gasp, head tipping back.
"a-always... gonna be y-yours, violet --"
"mm -- again --"
"f-fuck vi -- i'm -- yours -- n-ngh!" she'd look up at you from where she's dropped to her knees in front of you, watching you with those big, baby blue eyes of hers.
she'd flash you a tiny smile that tells you you're forgiven, if only a bit, but the way she nips at your skin just a bit harder than usual and jerks down your pants tells you that she's still feeling vindictive and that you're really, really in for it tonight.
"again," she says, her voice hoarse.
"'m yours, violet -- hah... please..."
your head tips back as her fingers dig into the plush of your thighs and forces them apart.
"again."
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