#// i love drawing homophobic marie shes not really homophobic i just think it's funny when she looks like that

[m0e-ru]

get marie’d lol

[gramarye]

really really long post where i just talk about johan from yugioh gx thank you

im thinking about johan tonight bc i was drawing him and i wanna talk abt him. bear with me. I REALLY LIKE JOHAN . TO START THIS OFF WITH i have an official licensed johan "WHERE AM I" shirt and i adore it its really funny also i used to have like a johan pin i bought from a german anime store and it was like 8 euros but i shipped it off to my friend who is really really crazy about johan

^johan where am i shirt

anyway johan. jessejohan. i like johan so much believe me he is my nordic scandinavian brethen i just think his writing has issues mainly that he has like no real relationships outside judai and like. i know as a gay person -- i am literally a lesbian In A Lesbian Relationship In Real Life -- that characters will become more likeable when they're queer coded bcuz its Different and its relatable. however i think his writing is kind of really weak and i quote this thing my friend said in 2022 like a lot

HARD TRUTHS TO SWALLOW jesse is a beautiful damsel in distress and his personality outside jaden and crystal beasts is kind of nothing. i love him tho

but the most offensive thing abt it writing wise is like in season 4 when they duel against trueman sorry it was fujiwara. okay i was rewatching gx ages ago and my ex was watching it with me and it was her first time seeing it and shes a literature major and when the whole. "what is the darkness in johan's heart" scene, AFTER IT WAS ESTABLISHED EVERYONE, EVERY STUDENT INCLUDING MANJOUME SHO ASUKA O'BRIEN ETCETC has darkness in their hearts,

my ex goes "if they reveal that he has no darkness in his heart because hes such a special boy im going to be so fucking mad because hes already a mary sue" (HER WORDS NOT MINE she was so mad about johan its funny.) AND THEN THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO

like he is literally too perfect. his only flaw is his one (1) time thing about getting lost which is never really brought up again (also its more of an endearing haha funny thing and yes i like it i have a shirt referencing that scene.) and the fact that.. he gets taken over i guess.

i do think the switch around where they bamboozle fujiwara is really funny. it is a funny scene i just wish they literally didn't do it at the cost of "johan is a perfect person without any mental weaknesses when literally every single other character has some flaws" I DONT GET IT!!!

maybe he can just photosynthesize his worries into strength i dont know. does anyone remember that meme

but really like WHAT IS JOHAN WITHOUT JUDAI!!!! why is he literally perfect and above other characters also. why could they not give him any darkness like What possible reason does that serve except me think he is BORING!!!! i do like johan btw as i said i really do. i just think his writing kinda sucks and people are way too nice on johan because he is queer coded but the fact is his writing is really weak. this isnt exclusive to johan ok i also dislike some aspects of jadens writing and asukas and so forth (naming characters i really like to prove my point) I AM CRITICAL this is just. about johan. ok.

and this brings me to the weirdo youtube essayists who only care about s3 and think its the peak of gx and yugioh in general and also. ONE SUCH YOUTUBER. WHO SAID IT IS "HOMOPHOBIC" THAT JESSE IS SOUTHERN IN THE DUB WHICH. WHAT?

you think all southern people all homophobic??? im sorry but i know so many goddamn queer people in thhe south. are you out of your mind. please blow up. LET HIM BE A GAY TEXAN you are just showing your own prejudice literally why did so many gx fans eat up "umm it was homophobic of 4kids to make him southern" they give like everyone accents. he has cowboy boots in his design. its not homophobia hes just southern and southern gay people exist. watch brokeback mountain or something

anway

i think johan is a much more interesting character if you incorporate his manga counterpart into it. like combine him with his anime self and it'd be really fun. his bug enthusiasm in the manga is fun like he has an actual hobby and personality. ADHD bug king

also i think personally they should lean into him being scandinavian more. ITS FUNNY. i think he should try to feed manjoume blodplättar because he looks anemic. he should open a can of surströmming around asuka (canonically very much hates food with strong smells) and she gets so upset she has to like leave the building entirely. she should get into a cultural dispute with o'brien because he thinks carola's swedish cover of mickey is better than toni basil's original

i think this and like. septembers mikrofonkåt is what he should listen to. swedish pop baby

anyway. i like johan i just think Some of his fans are insane and thats why i need to take him down a peg every now and then . in a loving bully way. also hes very gender to me dont worry about it. also TWO different people have said some variation of the "fuck danganronpa and its fans i hope komaeda marries a woman" post about him to me in different years which is so funny.

anyway yes i love jessejohan. send post

[astharoshebarvon]

I never expected to see that horseshit even in Hannibal/Will pairing. I’d really thought they were exempt from that bullshit.

All I can say is that the thirst for the dominant male/ homophobia is unreal. Female Will Graham—

At this point I don’t even know whether to get angry or simply laugh at such stories. This is beyond ridiculous! Imagine being idiotic enough to even write they aren’t murder husbands, and being weird enough to put in the story, its murder husband and wife.

Please. There has never been a wife nor will there ever be. Dream on.

Thankfully, the cringeworthy self insert fics are still in double digits.

Just say you want to fuck the Dom and can’t stand that two guys love each other and are in a relationship. Literally no one wants to read about your fantasy. Go and write self-insert/OFC with the male and be happy with that. Don’t be this pathetic and try to write your fantasy in the slash ship. Keep your straight agenda to your lame het self-insert ships.

No wonder this bull even bled out to shoujo manga. That is a new low even for a shoujo. Seriously, just say you hate gay people and get out. Having the fucking audacity to write that kind of homophobic content in 2020 is shocking.

There is really no need to be that disgusting. Just write your idiotic, stupid, annoying, brainless, obsessed, creepy fangirl with the male lead and leave gay people lout of it. No need to show again and again how foul you are by bringing them in. You are literally proving what kind of a person you are by writing such crap.

I am just so disgusted by that manga that I don’t even want to remember it if I can help it. Is that how fm couples are being made these days, by being blatantly homophobic and vile/showing het superiority or downright pedophilic content. No wonder those stories never reach more than 50? 60? Ratings on amazon.

Now, if you look at Ten Count, Given, well, there ratings are in 1000 or above 500.

Please, continue being so gross, at one point only garbage people will end up buying that crap.

Mediocre shoujo writers are so fucking threatened by the popularity of BL that they are even resorting to such vile tricks.

Seeing such things just cements what I’ve always thought. People just got better at hiding their homophobia, (we needed change so we turned a boy into a girl in slash fics of the coulple ) it’s painfully obvious what you truly think when you spit out such bullshit. No need to jump through so many goddamn hoops. Hell, I am not even surprised by this behaviour.

 These are the same kind of garbage people who screamed, Yuki should return to being a girl, we don’t like male Yuki.

Shut the fuck up! Luka is literally saying they have the same soul, he can only love once. Yuki is Yuki. So called female yuki was mentioned in passing at best, got two? three ? full pages.

Luka won’t fuck you no matter how much you wish it.

The story doesn’t even have a kiss scene between the fem yuki and luka or any hets while Senshirou breaks off his engagement saying quite clearly he cares for Kuroto. The girl is thankfully not a trash person like the homophobic readers. Neither is she like the one with sairi and touko.

The whole manga revolves around present male Yuki and Luka, their relationship and other bl ships. See the fucking artworks, go and buy Phosphor, its pure BL. There is a limit to how blind or in denial a person can be. 

This manga and anime is shonen-ai, it’s always been that and will always be that. All the main couples are slash. The mangaka is famous for her BL stories.

Uraboku was published in Asuka, the magazine which is infamous for never outright saying the two males are in love and are together.

Bloody Mary, X/1999, Kyou Kara Maou are prime examples, they are all shonen ai/BL subtext. Stop trying so hard to deny the fucking truth. The author’s new work, a shoujo, was so poorly received that’s it’s not even funny. Beautiful art couldn’t save it.

Clamp literally said do not call Kamui and Fuuma as brothers. They aren’t friends. They are soulmates! They parallel Seishirou and Subaru, an established, famous MM couple. Fuuma is all Kamui thinks about.

They don’t even mention the obsessed, creepy fangirl.

They are together in Tsubasa too. Stop trying to force your heteronormative bullshit onto everyone.

 No wonder some homophobic / thirsty person had the audacity to write in the fucking wikia of that light novel, this character is not gay you know. It’s implied he might be—

He is literally saying he is gay in the story, he tells it straight to the other party. He’s been gay all these years.

And, you are still trying to push your het agenda.

I totally get where that nonsense came from. He is a very very good looking man.  You want a chance to fuck him and think this is the best way to make yourself feel good. Go and get help if you are that fucking sad of a person. This isn’t normal behaviour, it’s creepy.

You gotta be some other level of stupid if you think they are friends/brothers. Friends/siblings don’t do this with each other.

Some idiots even denied Kurogane/Fai being a subtle couple in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. You have to be blind as a bat if you truly sat there and thought they weren’t a thing.

Even these two from get backers.

Hell, I think Get Backers author even said yes, those two guys are together. Like, please readers, take your homophobia and get out.

I have to give it to Atsuko Nakajima for drawing such beautiful illustrations. All of her works, whether they be MM, FM, FF are simply too beautiful.

  Stay mad that your imagined het only exists in your head not in actual story. Go read trash like that shoujo or see het pedo shows which thinks 500 year old is attracted to a little 7 year old. You’ll find many trash homophobic people like you there.

Even on manga sites you see idiotic lists like, erotica Not BL, smut with anything but bl, quality smut not BL.

Seriously, how fucking pressed are you that people don’t seem to give two fucks about your fm ships, these fm smut mangas have way less views than BL.

Be decent and write mf smut list, shoujo josei smut or something of the like. You have to mention bl somehow don’t you? This isn’t even pathetic, it’s downright gross. 

No wonder some foolish homophobic trash wrote lies like omegaverse does not belong to slash. You have to be completely shameless and downright stupid to write such horseshit.

Of course, some freaks even like that horrendous, homophobic, monstrous bitch from ten count. To this day I don’t understand how anyone can say such things.

She looked good standing next to kurose. She is good looking.

I just cant—

What a joke! She is human garbage nothing more and ugly as hell.

Ugh, the only place she should be in is a fucking sewer. I hate that bitch so much. She deserves to die a million times for what she did. Her existence is a fucking disgrace.

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hey

Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in

Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?

Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it

Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself

Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes

Joe: I see that

Joe: your accent down the 📞?

Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour

Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way

Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands

Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing

Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones

Joe: i’ll keep that in mind

Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie

Joe: not actual escorting

Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model

Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that

Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one

Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already

Joe: I just did

Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌

Ronnie: sexist not to ask me

Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf

Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie

Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well

Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you

Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me

Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure

Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole

Joe: cheers

Joe: take 20% commission or whatever

Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this

Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig

Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of

Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah

Joe: you wanna do it?

Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention

Joe: not what it is so no

Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you

Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me

Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it

Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so

Joe: she’d be really let down

Ronnie: usually what gets you off

Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like

Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special

Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best

Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower

Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔

Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about

Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her

Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright

Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right

Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have

Ronnie: i dont dream 💔

Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you

Joe: or anyone, really

Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping

Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake

Ronnie: what you cant read me

Joe: clearly not

Joe: dashed your modelling dreams

Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you

Joe: is that sympathy?

Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time

Ronnie: again you wish

Ronnie: 💭💉

Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz

Joe: maybe I do

Joe: far as 💭s go

Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont

Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her

Joe: not tried it

Joe: but not a no

Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her

Joe: that is a no, tah

Ronnie: tell her not me baby

Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?

Joe: gutted

Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us

Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then

Joe: make a change for me

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up

Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam

Ronnie: not oi ing you

Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair

Ronnie: life aint soft lad

Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you

Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there

Joe: purely here for the homophobia

Ronnie: your kinks match 💘

Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks

Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘

Joe: the sisterly thing

Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth

Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt

Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira

Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers

Joe: lucky girl

Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you

Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you

Joe: i fit less than you, by far

Ronnie: fuck off

Joe: sorry

Joe: it’s weird, say the least

Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont

Joe: ditto

Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though

Ronnie: no

Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common

Joe: just the same mother

Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times

Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word

Joe: incubator then

Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down

Joe: worse if she did, the state of

Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you

Ronnie: were not the fucking same

Joe: you reckon

Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it

Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?

Joe: woah, just say you love me

Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us

Joe: hot

Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty

Joe: uni ain’t that interesting

Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round

Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna

Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done

Joe: nah

Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative

Ronnie: i dont want a narrative

Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker

Ronnie: in your dreams

Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual

Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like

Joe: Static is my kink

Joe: you know me so well

Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do

Joe: i’m a gentleman

Joe: and i’m taking that review

Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are

Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand

Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class

Joe: let’s do something

Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit

Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get

Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you

Joe: thank god

Joe: so take the risk

Ronnie: of what

Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you

Joe: that’s surely a given

Joe: risk anything but

Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her

Joe: christian grey or superman, like

Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell

Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that

Joe: touche

Joe: come on, what would convince you

Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it

Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see

Ronnie: then the answers nothing

Joe: nah

Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed

Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things

Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then

Joe: the opposite of that

Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah

Joe: nah, I am

Ronnie: like fuck will you

Joe: see, you want to be disappointed

Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it

Joe: if you don’t come and see

Ronnie: come where

Joe: see me

Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go

Joe: fuck sightseeing

Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]

Ronnie: go there

Joe: now?

Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go

Joe: okay

Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t

Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates

Joe: when you’re done being disappointed

Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not

Joe: you’ll see

Joe: I can’t show you over the phone

Ronnie: you could

Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager

Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either

Joe: pictures not doing no favours

Joe: if you’re there and i’m there

Ronnie: big if

Joe: I never know where to be

Ronnie: newborn i heard you

Joe: something like that

Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺

Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour

Joe: true

Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though

Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead

Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size

Joe: she’s a big girl

Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy

Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said

Ronnie: fuck all going for her

Joe: way to get in shape

Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls

Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue

Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her

Ronnie: 🐎

Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath

Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived

Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit

Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad

Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so

Joe: hold on

Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy

Joe: ugh, I wish

Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it

Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out

Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind

Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother

Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right

Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?

Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session

Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like

Joe: dangerously close to sharing there

Joe: you got your 💉 already then?

Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had

Ronnie: unlucky you

Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you

Joe: so I’ll cope

Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up

Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah

Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like

Joe: 💔

Joe: validations the last thing i need

Joe: had a whole lifetime

Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need

Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans

Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either

Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it

Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do

Joe: attention seekers anonymous

Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸

Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs

Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway

Ronnie: does it fuck

Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass

Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit

Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit

Joe: it’s not that

Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be

Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck

Ronnie: dont give em the choice

Joe: why?

Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to

Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre

Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try

Ronnie: then dont

Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail

Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep

Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞

Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever

Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common

Joe: just 50% of our DNA

Joe: never said we were twinsies

Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run

Joe: I wish

Joe: has your face healed

Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that

Joe: 😏

Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need

Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend

Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue

Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here

Joe: spoilsport

Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy

Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny

Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking

Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright

Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there

Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas

Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow

Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit

Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story

Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy

Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off

Ronnie: if we re telling stories

Joe: 😂

Joe: where we keep the horse

Joe: that en-suite is massive

Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash

Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked

Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me

Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah

Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with

Ronnie: youre welcome like

Joe: gotta stop being nice to me

Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch

Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕

Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do

Joe: obviously you’re that type

Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍

Joe: you’re inspiring, like

Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite

Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere

Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out

Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆

Joe: have a go at pushing it back in

Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism

Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off

Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]

Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]

Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite

Joe: 🚫🐍

Ronnie: gutted

Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever

Joe: I’ll take you back

Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as

Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help

Joe: you know I meant to Dublin

Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: I said if you want

Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want

Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials

Joe: you’d need directions

Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent

Joe: can’t say it’s your loss

Ronnie: shut up about it then

Joe: 🤐

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it

Ronnie: sizeist

Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine

Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment

Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe

Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it

Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain

Joe: go on, for your lols

Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch

Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too

Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be

Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too

Joe: if you’re lucky

Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔

Joe: damnit

Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?

Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for

Ronnie: noted

Joe: only the good ones

Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads

Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st

Joe: where were you

Joe: wonder how close it was

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending

Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane

Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah

Ronnie: you didnt say when

Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]

Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces

Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood

Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut

Joe: awh

Joe: message him 🧓🏼

Ronnie: fuck off calling me old

Joe: 😏

Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on

Joe: what mess have you made

Ronnie: havent killed myself yet

Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing

Joe: possibilities are endless still

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: come out

Joe: we can get new ink to dig out

Joe: whatever

Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time

Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way

Ronnie: flashy cunt

Joe: what being a student is all about

Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do

Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺

Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand

Joe: I could

Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby

Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?

Ronnie: nah not that ive heard

Joe: come on

Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads

Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah

Joe: shit i mean

Ronnie: why

Joe: why wouldn’t I

Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it

Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know

Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not

Ronnie: like its nothing

Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago

Joe: then tell me to leave

Joe: like it’s that easy

Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear

Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair

Joe: I never had the choice

Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time

Joe: you’ve always been in my life

Ronnie: and youve never been in mine

Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it

Joe: Alright

Joe: do it then

Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do

Joe: I’m not going unless you say it

Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you

Joe: like fuck it is

Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at

Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is

Joe: lie better

Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like

Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now

Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back

Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending

Joe: I never said I was a good person

Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you

Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out

Joe: Piss off

Ronnie: lie better cunt

Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem

Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done

Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies

Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong

Joe: I like you

Joe: I want you, to get to know you

Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself

Joe: So make me

Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do

Ronnie: fucks sake

Joe: you ain’t saying anything

Joe: what do you want

Ronnie: I dont want you to like me

Ronnie: fuck is that

Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable

Joe: not going to tell no one am I

Ronnie: so hate me soft lad

Joe: I’ll give it a go

Ronnie: ill make you

Joe: give it a go then

Ronnie: where are you then

Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]

Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]

Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]

Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]

Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]

Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]

Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]

Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]

Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]

Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]

Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]

Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]

Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]

Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]

Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]

Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]

Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]

Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]

Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]

Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]

Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]

[im-sad-lets-kiss]

Stranger Things Teacher AU

Sorry, it got long

All of the party™ are teachers at Hawkins Highschool (either they never met and became a tight squad of teachers there or the actual plot of Stranger Things, you choose)

Mike (Mr. Wheeler) is the English (I and II) and Creative Writing teacher.

He kind of dislikes English II, but it’s not that bad. He hates the grammar section but he pushes them to do as much reading and writing as possible

HE LOVES CREATIVE WRITING! His students write a short story every week to go with a prompt he gives them.

Sometimes he’ll read his students short stories/ comics he made as a kid.

The students think it was funny how Mr. Byers drew the comics and Mr. Wheeler thought of the dialouge and plot (no matter which AU you choose, WILL AND MIKE WERE ALWAYS FRIENDS)

MIKE HATES FRESHMEN

He has a water bottle on his desk that says “FRESHMAN TEARS”

The whole school hate/loves him. During one assembly he had a dance off with two girls from the dance team (he won)

Will (Mr. Byers) is the art teacher (duh)!

He doesn’t have as many students as most teachers, because he’s a fine art not many people want to take. But that just means he gets to know all of them one on one.

His favorite students call him Mr. Will or Will

He has a secret romance going on with Mr Wheeler. ☺️

His favorite students are usually seniors, and on fridays they play fun kahoot (this is modern) or free draw!

His tables are a fake marble so they can finger paint on them and then wipe it off.

He has a wall in his classroom that’s a mural that the party did (most of it is average or bad, but he doesn’t care)

He decorates the room for Halloween with his first hour class (and mr wheeler because he doesn’t have anyone first hour) and they go APESHIT

Mr. Henderson is the science teacher for juniors and seniors (freshmen remind him of his young self, so he don’t do that shit)

Even though he isn’t the coach of any sports, he is the leader/coach of the robotics club, so most students call him “Coach Henderson” for fun

Sometimes he hears students make fun of him for his teeth/voice but usually he sends them to the principal’s office. When he doesn’t he tells Coach Sinclair about it, and he always duels our special punishments

Coach Sinclair once heard a group of boys imitating Mr. Henderson, so they had to do 10 laps around the school (full sprint) and two months of detention

Dustin is super into his lessons and plans all of them out during the summer, because he genuinely loves his job. He wants to be able to answer every question that’s thrown at him, just like his old science teacher.

They have labs every other day to give students a break from notes, and he’s had at least 12 fires in his room.

Coach Sinclair is a football coach at Hawkins High, but was offered a job as World History/Civics teacher.

He hates Civics, but likes World History.

Civics is for Freshmen, and World History is for Sophmores, which he loves.

One of his students made a countdown on the whiteboard until February 4th and won’t tell the class what it means. Lucas is determined to find out.

He does, on February 4th. Turns out it was National Coach Sinclair Day, And the student brought him a cake. He teared up a bit at this, worried his students didn’t like him that much

His students give him a hard time sometimes (cause they know he isn’t qualified to teach) but they all really like him.

Lucas has the funkiest outfits at school

He always promised that for every test, the classes that have a 90% or above class average, get to see him dance

Eleven (Ms. Hopper-Byers) is the Chorus teacher!

Her students call her Ms.EHB, but sometimes Ms. Elle (yes she decided to hyphenate the name, god)

She’s really bad at quieting down the class, but usually when it doesn’t work she just uses her powers to break a light, then they all get freaked out and quiet

(Sorry repair dudes who constantly have to fix her lights)

She enjoys her class, because she sings good (not outstanding but if she started to sing you wouldn’t tell her to shut up)

Sometimes she loses her voice from having to talk too much, even though she only has to be at school for two classes.

She gets to school at lunch time so she can see the party and plan her classes.

The students think she is dating Mr. Wheeler (though she isn’t, she’s very interested in Ms. Mayfeild) because she’s caught siting on Mr. Wheeler’s desk often

There aren’t any windows in her classroom, so she likes to go on walks outside when she has spare time

She painted her classroom walls baby blue, and it boosts her mood

She’s the nicest teacher in the whole school, and after concerts she takes the class to get ice cream (on the school’s credit card of course)

Max (Ms. Mayfeild/ Coach Mayfeild/ Coach Max) is the PE teacher. She also coaches softball and soccer.

Not a whole lot of the girls like her, because she’s so loud and intense. The boys like her tho, and give her fist bumps and call her bro.

She’s a harsh teacher, but for some reason it’s one of the most popular classes

She hasn’t said she’s gay, but everyone pretty much guessed and ran with it.

Everyone wants to know which teacher she would date if she could, and she hasn’t told anyone except for her favorite student, Charlie.

Charlie never told anyone Coach Mayfeild has a crush on the Chorus teacher.

She loves her Outdoor Ed class the best, they canoe and hike and fish.

(Sometimes it reminds her of the demogorgon)

The principal is Mrs. Buckley (aka Robin. THATS RIGHT. MRS.)

Everyone loves her, and is surprised she is in charge because of her young age.

She used to be the most popular teacher in the whole school (Band/Chorus) then she became administration, then principal

Her wife Heather, is the school nurse

She competes in all the homecoming/prom assembly competitions and tries to make the school more fun for everyone

She’s not too fond of punishing students, so she leaves most of it to the Vice Principal, except for when she hears about homophobic bullying

When she goes off at a homophobic bukky at her desk, she always makes sure the picture of her wife is facing the student

Speaking of Vice, Mr. Harrington is The Vice Principal

He’s kind to all the students, giving them high fives in the hallways, but cracks down in punishments

He’s very loved, but if you hear “do you want to be sent to Mr. Harrington’s office?” You shut the fuck Up

Every day on the announcements he has a “nugget of knowledge” which is just a reminder of the rules that he never enforces, but quickly becomes a meme around the school

One week students start to notice a new ring on Steve’s fourth finger when they highfive him, and rumors fly around. No one even knew he was dating.

He never officially tells the students (it’s not their business), but they notice when he changes his last name from Harrington to Hargrove

Coach Hargrove is a baseball and football coach. He also teaches PE, and gets in fights with his little step sister.

While Coach Mayfeild does Juniors and Seniors, Coach Hargrove teaches Freshmen and Sophmores. He hates them, and they know it.

He’s a pretty rough teacher, but all the girls drool over him. He knows they do, to his embarrassment.

Everyone flips their shit when they find out the meanest teacher ever and the coolest cat in town get hitched

They start acting like clowns, at make jokes (like Billy went soft? Tsktsktsk), But no he isn’t soft, and reminded everyone that when he went right back to screaming at them to do 12 laps.

There’s two more teachers I want to introduce: Mr. and Mrs. Byers (Jonathan And Nancy)

Jonathan is in charge of yearbook staff and is a counselor. Some kids think he’s creepy, but that’s just cause they’ve never spoken to him.

He’s really nice and has a bowl of candy on his desk for the kids

He likes being part of students’ future decision making but enjoys yearbook way more.

He’s quiet and usually keeps to himself

Mrs. Byers is the Freshmen and Sophmore Mary teacher.

The students like her well enough, but not very many people’s favorite.

She likes the class to be completely silent except for group activities and the last five minutes of class.

She’s nice though and brings the birthday kids candy.

She still dresses like it’s the 80s and kids tease her for it (she doesn’t mind tho)

Sorry this got so long and gay, oops

[sherlolo-land]

So Sherlollians and other anti-johnlockers believe that we only ship Johnlock to  see John and Sherlock’s dicks touch, as if we have some weird fixation with genitals. (And this isn’t just me dragging out an old argument here. This is NOW. STILL. In 2018). And yet, in reality, they’re the most genital-obsessed group of people I’ve ever known to exist. They’re the ones constantly reducing women down to their vaginas (looking at YOU, mouseymodesty). They say we don’t like Molly because of her “vagina.” That we think Mary is a villain because of her “vagina.” That it’s wrong to ship Sherlock with anyone who has a “vagina.”

You guys think we’re obsessed with Sherlock and John fucking. But if your excuse for hating Johnlock is that you “don’t want to see dicks touch,” then YOU are the ones most obsessed with fucking. Shit. Even if it’s your NOTP, you are obsessed with who should and shouldn’t be having sex based on their sexual anatomy (homophobic much?) 

You guys think we hate certain characters solely because of their genitals. As if you aren’t the ones hating on a gay ship by constantly talking about their dicks touching (oh, but you’re totally not homophobic, right?) Just because Sherlock and John are played by cis men, doesn’t mean their shippers hate vaginas. There’s a whole sub sect of the johnlock fandom that headcanons Sherlock as trans (i.e. he was born with a vagina). We have tons of trans Sherlock fic. One of our recent, popular fics has John as trans. We write and draw femlock ALL the time. We love and support Miss Sherlock, a show that features BOTH of them as cis women (sorry, where were you vagina-supporting sherl0llians during the Miss Sherlock hype again? Oh yeah - sleeping).

And you know what? Genitals don’t determine someone’s gender you transphobic fucks. So if you’re trying to say that Johnlockers are somehow sexist because we don’t make every woman a love interest, then I suggest using different phrasing, because woman =/= vagina. And if you think referring to women as “vaginas” makes you sound all feminist and empowering, think again because it only makes you a transmisogynistic TERF. 

Johnlockers don’t ship Sherlock and John just to see them jump into bed and screw all night. You’d never say that you ship Sherlolly just because you want to see their genitals touch. So then why, when it’s a gay ship, is it suddenly all about sex and fucking and fetishization?! 

You guys don’t even REALIZE how homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, sexist and hypocritical you are. Yes, all of those things.

You drag anyone who doesn’t ship Sherlock with a CIS woman. 

You rail against people who ship Johnlock but support any (straight) ship without John, unless it’s warstan - cause lbr, you only stan Mary so much because she blocks Johnlock and you love it. (Cause if you hate John so much and loooove Mary, why else would you ship them? Hmm...)

You were all “uwu we love and support the warstan family” until Mary died, then suddenly John didn’t meant shit to you anymore because “warstan family who? Rosie is now a sherlolly baby uwu.”

You think gay shipping is fetishization but straight shipping obviously isn’t

The very minute ANYONE wishes that Molly would learn to love and respect herself instead of pining for a man who won’t love her back, you wail about them being misogynists.  

You think m/m ships are sexist because there’s no woman involved.

You think it’s sexist to not make a woman a love interest.

You think it’s sexist for women to be villains.

You refer to women as “vaginas” and can only see them as love interests or romantic threats. 

You support murder and physical abuse as long as a woman is doing it.

In fact, you make jokes and headcanons about physical abuse because to you it’s uwu bamf and cute and funny when women do it.

Most of you love and stan Eurus, a killer and rapist - oh, but you’re sooo feminist, right?

You say it’s sexist for us to call women “mirrors,” but then you go and say Maud Bellamy is Molly, and when Eurus dressed as Faith she was imitating Molly to attract Sherlock (she wasn’t, btw). 

You support shipping a self-proclaimed lesbian with a man because #bisexualrepresentation, but the moment anyone calls John bi you wail about how he married a woman and therefore can’t be bi. 

You guys love the morgue scene because it gives you an excuse to hate John- and then project and say that WE enjoy it, with no proof of us EVER saying so. 

You say we romanticize abuse by stanning the morgue scene, even though none of us actually do - when YOU guys are really the only ones stanning and supporting any violence between your OTP

You shit all over John for texting a woman, but then you go fantasize about Mary and Sherlock fucking, or Molly cheating on Tom with Sherlock, or say that they went on a “date” in TEH even though she was engaged.

You want receipts for any of this? They’re all over this blog. Start somewhere and get clicking. 

It’s 20fucking18 and you guys are STILL only capable of discussing ships in terms of sex and genitals. There’s more to relationships than caring about what is between someone’s legs. And women are not just walking, talking vaginas. Damn, the fact that some of you Sherlollians are in your 40s and have to be reminded of that is SAD.

[lifes-a-dick]

High Wycombe is the Sussex Downs

The “triple poisoner” Sherlock mentioned he caught in High Wycombe at the end of TLD is from Doyle’s The Sign of the Four:

I assure you that the most winning woman I ever knew was hanged for poisoning three little children for their insurance-money - ACD

I once caught a triple poisoner in High Wycombe - Sherlock in TLD

What’s cool is that when Holmes says that line in the canon, he is slyly comparing none other than Mary Morstan to the triple poisoner. It’s kind of an iconic scene, where they have both just met Mary for the first time, as a client.

“What a very attractive woman!” I exclaimed, turning to my companion. He had lit his pipe again and was leaning back with drooping eyelids. 

“Is she?” he said languidly, “I did not observe.” 

“You really are an automaton- a calculating machine,” I cried. “There is something positively inhuman in you at times.” 

He smiled gently. 

“It is of the first importance,” he cried, “not to allow your judgment to be biased by personal qualities. A client is to me a mere unit, a factor in a problem. The emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning. I assure you that the most winning woman I ever knew was hanged for poisoning three little children for their insurance-money, and the most repellent man of my acquaintance is a philanthropist who has spent nearly a quarter of a million upon the London poor.” 

“In this case, however-”

“I never make exceptions. An exception disproves the rule.”

An exception disproves the rule. Oh, Sherlock, you salty thing. Holmes is warning Watson about his attraction to Mary, and that you can’t judge a person’s inner quality by how appealing their facade is. In fact he’s saying you never should, because it’s always wrong. He gives an example: the most appealing woman he ever met was a murderer of children. While the most outwardly repellent man he knows is truly a hero. Watson begins to suggest that Miss Morstan is surely an exception, and her inner quality is as lovely as her facade. But Holmes cuts him off before he can make his point, and says that there are no exceptions. The very fact that Watson was drawn to Miss Morstan at their first meeting, by Holmes’s reasoning, means she’s bad news. 

Then there’s also the fact that the example that occurs to Holmes makes the woman “not what she seems”, then an initially “repellent” man his example of someone who is beautiful underneath. Gosh I wonder if he’s talking about himself, and simultaneously suggesting that he is the better of the two romantic options who were together in the room with John just a few moments before. 

More under the cut.

Holmes says facades are false, without exception. The more appealing the facade, the more likely it’s a trick. Mary’s image was improved for S4; her cute soft curls instead of the more harsh slicked back short hair from S3, the tan, her wardrobe had even improved from the bizarre things they dressed her in in S3. I believe Mary’s S4 ‘look’ was to exaggerate, and draw our attention to, the falseness of a facade. Mary’s facade as something empty/false was already pointed out quite dramatically in HLV when her image was projected onto the empty house. I think that was to warn us of what was to come. That like Holmes warned Watson in The Sign of the Four, WE would now need to guard ourselves from being fooled by a facade.

She’s a triple poisoner with a winning facade, and apparently she’s been caught:

I once caught a triple poisoner in High Wycombe - TLD

And here Sherlock was the one to catch the triple poisoner, whereas in the canon nothing like that was mentioned (even though you could argue that it was implied), therefore we can assume that this has significance for our story because that detail was added for TLD. I’ll come back to this at the end.

What’s also interesting is the rich philanthropist who seems repellent. Sounds like Culverton Smith.

Culverton Smith, who is clearly made to be physically ugly and “repellent”; the teeth, the bad suits, the general creepiness. An example of someone (or something) that we find near impossible to see past the repellency to the good underneath. Culverton did say that he was “in credit” for the things he’s done, lives saved, money donated, etc.

Sherlock says of Smith in TLD that he’s “the most dangerous, the most despicable human being I have ever encountered” compared to “the most repellent man of my acquaintance” about the philanthropist in The Sign of the Four. 

Then there’s a neat little thing in TAB that completes the story; a near identical comment made by Holmes to one in The Sign of Four:

My dear Watson, you are allowing emotion to cloud your judgement - TAB

The emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning. - The Sign of the Four

If you recall the context of that comment in TAB, it was John berating Sherlock about his cocaine use, calling him a “drug addict”. So when Sherlock tells John that his emotions are clouding his judgement, it’s clearly because here is Sherlock behaving “repellently”, but wishing that John could see past that to who he is underneath. To reinforce that this is indeed a reference to that theme from the canon, little Billy then rushes in with the telegram that alerts them that Mary has gone off on some assassiny mission. John is then unwilling to admit that Mary is anything other than his ordinary wife. He still can’t see past a facade, a winning one, or a repellent one. 

WATSON: What is it? What’s wrong? HOLMES: It’s Mary. WATSON: Mary? What about her? HOLMES: It’s entirely possible she’s in danger. WATSON: Danger? HOLMES: There’s not a moment to lose. WATSON: Is this the cocaine talking? What danger could Mary be in? I’m sure she’s just visiting with friends. (x)

If facades are always wrong, then Mary is the murderer, and Culverton Smith isn’t. Because well, he wasn’t, and didn’t kill Sherlock in the end. One layer of the many different ideas that Culverton Smith seems to represent, could be the idea of someone or something physically unappealing that puts us off, but which is “in credit” in terms of goodness once you look further. 

My thoughts always go back to homophobia and what the commentary there could be; like something that initially repulses or repels people (queerness), but which is beautiful once people break down and dispel their own ugly ideas. Think of Madame Vastra in Doctor Who, Moffat’s custom made Sherlock mirror. Her lizardiness represents that perceived ugliness, yet she’s somehow extraordinarily beautiful too - her appearance represents both how queerness is perceived by homophobes, and also the beauty that it truly holds. Holmes clearly sees himself as having a repellent facade to John, but I’m not sure how much this reflects John’s actual thoughts, since that was Sherlock’s dream. And the subtext here is not referring to attraction so much as how facades are a bi-product of repression, and that they’re broken down the more knowledge we gain, aka information is power.

I think John is also that “repellent” alternative for Sherlock, just as Sherlock represents John’s initially repellent alternative to Mary. Sherlock and John both battle the internalised enemy that is repression. Our repression is why we find something repellent that isn’t repellent, because repression is brainwashing.

Repression stops us from seeing past a facade. So this theme could also be behind the Culverton-John mirroring that many have pointed out. Sherlock lying there in that hospital, dying, letting his “repellent” male-attraction in the shape of Culverton, be the death of him. Or, letting it (the John who bursts through the door) save him instead. 

What is High Wycombe?

It’s a real place. A fairly normal/ordinary large town in England, and could be supposed to be a juxtaposition of ordinariness to make a joke about the idea of Sherlock taking Irene Adler there for dinner; an unlikely scenario. (High Wycombe does, however, boast a well-known BDSM sex dungeon/B&B. Very funny, Steven.)

Amy’s Choice is a Doctor Who episode in one of Moffat’s seasons that you’re possibly sick of hearing about. Anyway, it’s significant here again for different, non-EMP reasons. In that plot, of Amy’s two choices that the episode was named for (it was sort of subtext, but she needed to choose between two cute boys, Rory or the Doctor), Rory represented an “ordinary” existence as an alternative to the excitement and danger of life with the Doctor. There were two parallel realities (both later revealed to be hallucinations, but anyway). One of them was Amy and Rory’s ordinary but blissful domestic dream life in a quaint country home, in a town called Upper Leadworth. Upper Leadworth is an entirely fictional location invented for that Doctor Who episode. Here is what I’m proposing, then I’ll tell you why. I think this all does link back to the EMP-parallel in that episode, but for now this little connection stands on it’s own:

Upper Leadworth = High Wycombe

Upper = High. Yes?? Yes. 

But also...

The village of Upper Leadworth and the charming country home represented a sort of promised land, a utopia for Rory and Amy (even though Rory wanted it more than Amy did). Remember that over and over and over, in both Doctor Who and Sherlock, Moffat uses a marketable het-romance as a mirror for Sherlock and John’s story, or certain aspects of it anyway. Including often Amy and Rory.

Upper Leadworth:

I think High Wycombe is the equivalent for Sherlock and John, to Rory and Amy’s Upper Leadworth.

.... AND I think High Wycombe is a temporary place-holder for Sussex and bee hives. 

I think High Wycombe is a little code, and an assurance that this future for Sherlock and John exists (as does the night of passion). Even the idea of it being High or Upper suggests the idea of rising upwards, rising above limitations, coming up from “the underground”. Also, the “down” in Sussex Downs is the opposite of Up or High. 

Rewriting Down as Up, and replacing Sussex Downs with High Wycombe (if only temporarily), is sort of like rewriting history - taking Sherlock’s lonely retirement in the Victorian era where he couldn’t openly be a couple with John, and replacing it with one where they will live together. 

Also, there’s the fact that High Wycombe exists, whereas Upper Leadworth, for no clear reason, was chosen to be a fictional location. I would suggest that this is because Amy and Rory never really did exist there together in Upper Leadworth. They ended up being (sort of) defeated by the Weeping Angels who I argued briefly over here, mirror Mary as a villain. That’s why Upper Leadworth is a fictional village - it wasn’t Amy and Rory’s future. 

High Wycombe is a real place however, because so is Sussex Downs, and Sherlock and John are going to actually go there.

I don’t think I need to convince y’all that the “romantic entanglement” in TLD conversation was not about Irene at all, but about Sherlock and John’s relationship with each other. Just as ASiB was exactly that; not about Irene, but about Sherlock and John. Irene represented that wedge of heteronormativity that came between them; she causes as much confusion between Sherlock and John as she does for the audience. And still, the writers use her as a coded way for Sherlock and John to talk about their feelings for each other, like they’ve done before:

So she’s alive then. And how are we feeling about that? - ASiB.

WATSON: Irene Adler. HOLMES: A formidable opponent; a remarkable adventure. WATSON: A very nice photograph. HOLMES: Why are you talking like this? WATSON: Why are you so determined to be alone? -TAB x

So let’s look at the High Wycombe mentions at the end of TLD and try to decode the scary mess that it is, because we’re pretty sure they’re not really talking about Irene.

D’you go to a discreet Harvester sometimes? Is there a ... night of passion in High Wycombe?

Night of passion. Hmmm. Then a minute later...

...High Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand.

So now John is using High Wycombe as code for sex + a relationship. We’ve stopped talking about Irene. Sherlock the machine is not yet relationship material, not until his head and his heart can hug and make up then start working together.

...currently equipped to understand...

Remember when TLD aired and all our hopes and dreams were still alive we were in fairly good spirits because this WHOLE DAMN scene clearly seemed like a set-up for romance in episode 3?? I think it is, and was, still exactly that - a set-up for romance. 

The dialogue actually does foreshadow that Sherlock was about to go off and seek that which would “equip” him to “understand” how good “High Wycombe” could really be. 

Romantic entanglement...would complete you as a human being.

Sherlock points out the obvious here when he says

That doesn’t even mean anything.

Because it really doesn’t. Unless you reverse the sentence, when it then becomes the plot of TFP...

Completing you as a human being, will make you ready for romantic entanglement.

Delving deep into metaphor-land, which is the only possible way to analyze The Final Problem in any way which yields answers instead of questions and frustration, we can now see exactly which of the many bizarre scenes in TFP was foreshadowed by this dialogue from the end of TLD.

As befits something as climactic as Sherlock becoming ready for love, and that love then saving John’s life, the “completed as a human being” bit was the climax of The Final Problem itself, and indeed the climax of the entire series, and I would go so far as to say, yes, probably also the climax of the entire show so far. You just have to squint your eyes and see past the weirdness of Eurus and her weird game, the girl in the plane, the clown, and definitely squint your eyes and ignore the plot holes, because as I’ve argued a lot, plot holes have always been, and are now more than ever, an invitation to dig deeper and look further. 

Anyway. The climax of TFP was the sort of “on paper” completion of Sherlock’s character arc, hence why he was then immediately declared by Lestrade, in very cheesy fashion, to be “a good man”. Great to good. Done, complete. This is the scene I’m talking about -

Sherlock’s last and biggest challenge, finding Eurus, and thereby saving John from dying in the well.

If you view Sherlock’s “sister” as a long-lost part of him, then once he learned of her existence, found her, and “reconciled” with her, he was making himself whole. Complete as a human being. Two halves of one whole, back together again.

The whole “save John Watson” narrative is still going here. Whereas in TLD Sherlock needed on his death-bed to realise the value of his own life to John, (which is definitely not made clear in the slightest), here in TFP Sherlock is doing the same thing over again - saving John by saving himself.

Eurus symbolises the part of himself that was stolen from him as a child, when he began to figure out what he was, and then ‘what he was’ was immediately taken away from him. She represents the repression of his sexuality, which is why she was taken away and hidden and forgotten and locked in a cell (kept behind glass). Eurus is Sherlock’s fear of what he truly is and what he wants, she’s the “dangerous” in “love is a dangerous disadvantage”. 

So he finds and saves Eurus, the two of them almost becoming the silhouette of one person as they hug in the dimly-lit attic room. Then up shoots John, de-chained and lifted from the well. Because Sherlock became ready for love when he “completed himself” by merging with his lost half, and then John was subsequently saved by that love. 

Completing Sherlock as a human being has made him ready for romantic entanglement. He is now equipped to understand how good High Wycombe can be. So.....I guess that comes next? Steven? Mark?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Mary is Caught

Mary is the triple poisoner Sherlock caught in High Wycombe. He ‘caught’ her there, because the very act of Sherlock replacing Mary as John’s love interest, exposes her as the fake that she is. Making johnlock canon exposes heteronormativity as the villain in Doyle’s canon - the murderer who forced Doyle to decide to kill his creation.

 @monikakrasnorada @ebaeschnbliah @gosherlocked @devoursjohnlock @the-7-percent-solution @possiblyimbiassed @sagestreet @shylockgnomes @sarahthecoat 

[flcwerstudies]

cute tag!

pretty long post coming up!! Thanks to @cafedetude for tagging me!! im tagging: @hermiionegrcnger​ @studying-frenzy​ @belledoe​ @tiny-notes​ @theteadesk​ !! You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to ofc and if u want to do it and i haven’t tagged you go ahead!! 

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? there must always be more milk than cereal, but that amount must not exceed a certain amount do you get me? when i scoop my cereal there has to be proportionate amounts of milk in each scoop, consistently, until i have finished my bowl. my mind is a strange and lonely place. 

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yes! its so refreshing and i feel like all your lethargy just evaporates... i love taking walks in the winter around my neighborhood in the evenings.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? spoons, lipsticks, i once used another book to bookmark a book, hair elastic, my contact lenses case, compact mirror....im a mess, i know 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: scalding hot with lots of sugar and some milk. coffee: lots of milk, so much sugar 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? no? i just want my braces off!!

6: do you keep plants? yess

7: do you name your plants? yes! i am currently growing two wild roses and I’ve named them Calliope and Polymnia. 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? journaling, writing, reenacting musicals and dramatic renditions of songs? 

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yeah ofccc it keeps me sane 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back and side 

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? CAROL THE LESBIAN LIBRARIAN // mary walks by // too many to list here tbh 

12: what’s your favorite planet? mars! and also venus 

13: what’s something that made you smile today? my friends 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? a hurricane flew thru the entire place, empty wine bottles on the ground, beanbag chairs, stacks of books and movies, maybe a cat and a dog lazing around on the couch 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! there’s a gigantic cloud of alcohol wayyyyy out in outer space that could produce over 450 trillion pints of beer 

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? give me all the pasta. i love all pastas. 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? im ok with my hair color now 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. GETTING A CAPUCHIN MONKEY AS MY PATRONUS ON POTTERMORE

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? yes! i rant a lot and i sort of write down reflections? on my day and things. its really emo and angsty lmao im 16 pls 

20: what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes. so gentle. so sharp. so kind but so cruel. so ambiguous! 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my tote bag from myanmar! the straps are falling off but i love it so much 

22: are you a morning person? depends on if i slept early enough 

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, watch a movie, watch youtube, read 

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? absolutely not. it always pisses me off when people are like ohhh you can tell me anything??? no i can’t???? 

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? my friend’s house lmao 

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my peach converse! they’re so pastel and they seem weird but converse generally go well with a lot of things 

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don’t like gum tbh 

28: sunrise or sunset? both 

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? sticks his tongue out when he’s concentrating and its so cute i die everytime 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes but i will never ever go into detail with anyone about this lmao 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i love socks, i like wearing weird socks except for toe socks, people who sleep with socks on are Immune to Heat and Not Afraid Of Dying?? no white socks get nasty real quick and they’re so bland, i love socks i have this grey pair with french bulldog faces allllll over it and i wear them all the time and even though people can’t see them i still get happy and tell people about my dog socks. 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. HA LMAO we had just watched a scary movie so obviously we turned on my little pony and watched that for two hours 

33: what’s your fave pastry? cupcakes! anything tbh i have an enormous sweet tooth 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? my dad used to go on a lot of business trips and he came back once with a huge stuffed bear from switzerland and its so fuzzy its still on my bed. it’s name is Fred and it wears overalls and it has brown fur! 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes to all!!

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? paul anka lmao he’s not a band but ya know 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! wHEN UR JAMMING OUT TO MUSIC AND THEN SPOTIFY JUST STOPS WORKING?? people asking me if im mad when im just being quiet and then making me mad by continually questionning me, people who will ask dumb questions (yes, there are always dumb questions. google is free and im not going to tell u the homework, it’s written on the board quite clearly u moron), racist/homophobic/ableist/ generally offensive and disrespectful people 

39: what color do you wear the most? grey and navy 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have mismatching earrings that my grandmother got me for my birthday! 

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Fifteen Dogs by Andre Alexis! 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! the starbucks on center street it’s very Starbucks, exactly what you would expect, but I always sit in the corner spot near the windows 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My family! 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? sitting in the sand in shell key, florida. my feet are in the water and i am watching my family swimming. I am very sunburnt but my mind is completely blank in a good way 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? absolutely 

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. ofc they used a baby lion as their mascot. it’s simba-lic. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? there’s this food in korea that’s just stir fried rice with soybean sprouts and the sprouts..... aw god....they refuse to be bitten in half and it’s so gross i hate it sm 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? darkness! and no it is different today!

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? there are scarce places to buy CD’s now but the last one I bought was Micheal Jackson’s Bad 

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? bottle caps and paperclips and also pens i pick off the ground 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? my dad. any aretha franklin song 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the spongebob one and the gif of the white man who blinks a lot....u know the one 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i loved all of them and i want to be able to quote them in all of my speech but i dont think people have watched all of them 

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?  i was working on homework last night and when i was turning on my laptop to work on my project i met my reflection in the screen 

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? been incredibly bitchy like damn.....i surprise myself and i really hate it 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when people use weird shit as bookmarks, when they laugh with their eyes shut, laugh lines near their eyes, dimples, kindness, when they aren’t afraid of making eye contact with me bc i have weirdly intense eyes  

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it did not fit the mood of my day but yes i did reenact the lyrics 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my friend diana is the wine mom but i am the vodka aunt. why?? she is infinitely more caring and kind and sophisticated and also wine gets u lowkey, calm drunk, while i, the vodka aunt, am caring, but i have a bit of a laissez faire attitude and go with the flow and ‘damn what the hell fuck it’ kinda vibe and vodka gets u sloppy shitfaced drunk with none of the sophistication that comes with wine. 

59: what’s your favorite myth? icarus

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i dont LOVE poetry but i like haikus they’re like clever one liners ha 

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I gave my friend a notebook that i’d hastily made the night before and I have received a box of pads which in retrospect is not even a stupid present bc pads are expensive 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? i drink oj when i can 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i organize them every month bc i am ridiculous and i can’t function if my bookshelf is weirdly organized 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? pale grey almost white.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? my oldest group of friends (TNT lmaoooo) OR YOU KNOW callixtus from volunteering holyyy. you know those people who u meet and u immediately click with?? he’s on of them magical people and he was hella funny too i miss that guy to all hell 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? small roses! peach blossoms and cherry blossoms too. one huge ass hibiscus or lotus flower as a statement piece 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? cozy and sheltered. valid excuse for not going out 

68: what’s winter like where you live? terrible but i love it kinda 

69: what are your favorite board games? monopoly 

70: have you ever used a ouija board? NO WHAT 

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? barley, green or reallllyyyy black tea with loootss of sugar so that it makes your teeth ache 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah how’d you know 

73: what are some of your worst habits? expecting everyone to be on the same page 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. dedicated and brash, loud and hilarious, soft, amazing, i love them a lot 

75: tell us about your pets! i dont have pets!! T-T  

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? studying BUT DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS OK

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? hateclub sorry 

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? done my makeup for me while gossiping with me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? pale green and yeah i did. i chose it bc i love green! and the old color was boring and i didn’t like it  

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. no edges at all, soft bovine eyes , shaking leaves, crocodile tears 

82: are/were you good in school? yes! it’s a source of a lot of pride for me! 

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? amsterdam by nothing but thieves omg 

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? oohh nahh im not planning on getting tattoos im scared of needles 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? through the woods? i used to read a lot of them but you know i grew out of them 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? not especially no 

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the drop, double indemnity, back to the future, idk there’s a lot 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? the rennaissance! it was so extra and i loved it a lot 

89: are you close to your parents? yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. TORONTO-soaring skyline from the highways at night near the lakeshore, the lights from the condos are like stars and its ridiculous but i also loooooveee dubrovnik in croatia and hanoi in vietnam and kaunas in lithuania and kyoto in japan.....in dubrovnik the wind blows in from the shore and at night when the lights are on in the walled city the stone glows amber. In Hanoi in the old quarter, motorbikes flash by and there’s yelling and the smell of pork skewers and there’s old buildings and new ones, huge stalks of bamboo leaning up against the walls. In Kaunas the wind is so cold and sharp and the buildings are so clean and there’s that old fortress and the tower! it’s so beautiful. and Kyoto is old and archaic but so modern it hurts and the streets are too uniform and the houses creep me out a bit bc they’re so quiet. 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? i dont think so 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i will bury my pasta in cheese just you watch 

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? my hair is one style fits all bc its short 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? study and work on projects and homework and stress and nap and have dinner with a guest 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? no updates. we die like men. 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? isfj-t, aries, ravenclaw 

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? sometime in september? it was nice! 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. put your head on my shoulder by paul anka....there’s a lot and im really lazy sorry 

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future, just to see where I end up