#// hey anon uh holy shit

[fishermcn]

The ashes of Redmane Knight Ogha, handed to you.

trinkets and baubles fit for the crow's nest // accepting.

Isn't too often that someone comes around with an offer to trade spirit ashes, much less to give them away without asking for a single rune for their troubles. With so many of the dead in the Lands Between either interred within the roots of the Erdtree or shambling about as unliving scourges, they were rare enough to find and even rarer to use given how few spiritcaller bells were out there.

Sam's already wary and uneasy at this entire exchange, and it's only made worse when the box of ashes is held carefully between his soot-stained hands. While any writing on the box is meaningless to him, the clear embellishments etched into it speak plainly of how honored the deceased must have been. Then the sigil of the Redmane etched upon it catches his gaze, and Sam damn near drops the thing onto the ground with a startled coughing fit.

"Who...?" Whatever wariness that might've lingered on his part has evaporated, replaced with surprise and then determination as he frees the weathered bell from its place tucked away within his cloak. Flinty eyes fixated on the box, Sam hesitates for a moment before giving the spiritcaller bell a firm shake, and while the spirit fails to materialize the impression of its presence is more than telling.

A lion's fierce banner flapping beneath a crimson sun, the tautness of a mighty bow in the eye's twinkling before release, the power to halt the sky fashioned 'pon arrow's head, the Valkyrie's kindred clashing with the Red Lion's sworn in doomed war-- and Sam can breathe again with a harsh wheeze, nearly doubled over.

"Where the fuck," he rasps, stained hands trembling and bone-white from how tightly he's gripping the remains of the most honored one. "did ya find this?" As if remembering himself and the need to actually breathe, Sam stuffs the spirit ashes into the very same satchel he keeps his valuables within before whirling on the stranger. "... don't answer that. Take this," and a hero's rune is thrust into their chest accompanied by a low hiss, "an' walk on... might find ya later."

[hazbinshusk]

43 blitz pretty please

prompt #43: a bloody kiss. (warning for gratuitous violence that's still in the realm of the series content). also requested by the wonderful 🕰️ anon.

“Explain to me again why I’m takin’ a backseat to the bloody stuff while you get to have all the fun.” Blitzø says dryly, an eyebrow arched and his arms folded across his chest as he leans against a nearby tree.

“You want to kill someone, go ahead,” you tell him without taking your eyes away from the contraption you’re setting up. You’re sitting on a high branch above him, tail wrapped around the trunk of the tree for stability as you program the device for the desired height and speed. “Just don’t wander off.”

“Hey, who’s the boss here?”

You smile, still tapping away at the controls. “I thought you wanted to see how this works.”

“Sure, I do,” he shrugs. “But only because you using that brain of yours for murder makes me hard as a fuckin’ rock.”

“Such a gentleman,” you say with dry amusement, finalizing the settings before wrapping your tail around the branch you were sitting on and using it to swing yourself into a somersault and onto the ground. You landed on your feet in front of him. “Trust me, when you see this thing in action, you’re gonna be all like ‘Christ on a stick, that was so hot, I wanna fuck you so bad right now, holy shit.”

He raises a brow, trying to keep his delight at your terrible vocal impression off of his face. “Uh-huh.”

You wink, kissing his cheek before shoving him out into the open. “Trust me. And don’t linger once they spot you.”

“Spot me? The fuck?!” he shouts, offended. “Since when am I the bait? Do I fuckin’ look like Mox to—”

He cuts off as gunfire cracks the night air, ducking automatically before it sounds again.

“Oh, shii-IT!”

Blitzø dives for the bushes behind him, and you hear him scrabble towards you just as the mob of gun-wielding assholes you’d been sent to take out burst into the clearing. Blitzø is breathless as he crawls up beside you and looks supremely unimpressed.

“Y’know, next time you wanna—”

“Shh!” you hush him, smacking a hand over his open mouth. Your tail switches in anticipation behind you as you watch the yokels edge closer into range. Blitzø sighs against your palm impatiently. “Okay… three… two… one…”

You slam your other hand down onto the button in the centre of your controller, and the metal ball you’d suspended above them opens, expanding into a wire net that drops like a solid grate, shredding each and every one of the men beneath it like they were made of butter. Blood explodes out of them, drenching the two of you in hot, red wetness.

“Oh, fuck yeah!” you cheer, jumping up from where you crouched. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

Blitzø stands, blinking blood out of his eyes and he stares at the massacre incredulously.

“Christ on a fucking stick, that was fucking hot.” he laughs. “Holy shit!”

“Close enough,” you grin, smile widening as Blitzø grabs you by the waist and pulls you into a torrid, hungry kiss.

He tastes of blood and you don’t care, still burning with adrenaline as his tongue tangles with yours messily, his hands clutching at your ass. You jump up against him to wrap your legs around his waist and Blitzø pushes you back against the nearest tree roughly, thrusting his hips up into yours. His tail wraps around yours tightly, pressing the spades of them together.

You laugh into his mouth as Blitzø moans, breaking the kiss to catch your breath. Blitzø’s mouth moves to your neck, heedless of the blood coating your skin as he licks and sucks at your flesh.

“Fucking knew you’d be turned on by this, you horny little freak,” you tease and Blitzø rewards the comment by sinking his teeth into your neck. “Shouldn’t we be meeting back up with M&M right about now?”

He scoffs against your skin, squeezing your ass. “Who?”

You roll your eyes, taking his face in your hands. The blood is warm and sticky under your palms, and he grins wolfishly up at you, grinding up against you tauntingly. Your eyes roll back at the sensation for a second before you sigh. “Fine. You’ve got fifteen minutes.”

“Oh, shit yeah!” he sneers, and you laugh again, the sound turning to a moan as he smashes his lips back to yours.

send me a prompt and either husk or blitzø

[idkfitememate]

HELLO THERE!! I have been reading your various creators (WHICH IS SO ADORABLE) I have an idea that i'd like to share with you :))

Imagine Hydra!creator, basically something like Osial. THEY'RE JUST LINGERING SOMEWHERE IN THE WATERS, probably in the waters of Liyue AND THEY MET THE CRUX.

Hydra!creator peaking through the waters and looked at Beidou and Kazuha, and have a staring contest. Beidou thought its just a huge sea serpent since the creator peaked with their main head only. Once hydra!creator warmed up to both of them and the crew THEN RISE INTO THEIR FULL HEIGHT AND FORM, welp thats a pretty big hydra we have there (flashback at Osial and Beisht)

Maybe Beidou would introduce us to Ningguang at some point? I could imagine Ningguang just questioning how many hydras are there. That was what she thought because of the two previous ones that attacked the harbour, until she realized hydra!creator is just some big water noodle. A big water noodle that'll help from the water. Helping the sailors and fishermen, when theres a storm, hydra!creator will guide them to the safety of Liyue's docks.

Sorry if these seems like a lot :"))

I remember getting this ask and reading through it and going “HOLY SHIT!!! TIME TO SPEED THROUGH TO THIS ONE!!!!!”

… I’m sorry it took so long to respond my dear anon ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა-

BUT YES!!!! WE NEED MORE MYTHICAL CREATURE!CREATORS HEHEHHEHEHEHEHE

*Glances back at my nine headed phoenix OC… looks away*

ANYWAY-

Big noodle!! Big ole water noodle!!! Just a big happy fella!!!!

I actually imagine you staring at a shell shocked Kazuha because “That’s a huge bitch-“

Anyway when you rise up the ship is on one of your heads. Naturally they attack but you just whimper and shake off the attack, looking hurt. Like a puppy.

They wouldn’t know how to feel.

All of Liyue goes into panic mode because they??? just dealt????with this?????

Nigguang and everyone else (I forgot who all helped-) goes out to attack again but you don’t attack, you just stare at them????

Someone jokingly throws a fish at you and yells catch and one of your heads do and another wiggles and delight and you just looks so genuinely happy to be there they can’t be mad at that face-

There’s a storm? Not anymore, you blew it away! Tsunami? Nu uh you drank it! Godly threat? You beat the shit out of it!~

(Zhongli is honestly happy they have another godly being to protect them because, while yeah they did beat Osial but like… it was super close-)

Imagine you can do the laser beam-

“Hey Raiden Shogun what’s that light coming from Liyue?”

“I don’t know let me see-“

*Gets fucking vaporized*

Lmao Childe on his knees wanting to fight and you just gently nudging him away with one of many snouts.

POV the world is your bath tub:

This is such a cute idea I-

IT COULD NEVER BE A LOT ITS BEAUTIFUL!!!!! <3

God you guys have such great ideas ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა♡

[willowser]

ma’am i only found your blog yesterday but your ex hubby bakugo got me in a trance, and i hsjsksksksksk, but ill present you: ‘drunk ex husband bakugo’ i- i mean he would be so silly and calls you at 1am to tell you how much he loves you and the little one and how much he misses you, babbles away all the nonsense else, but the way he murmurs and mumbles silly things on the phone got you giggle at midnight (and sad at the time because holy hell you miss him too), then you have to talk him out of it to go home and sleep, he listens, he goes home, yeah, and 10 minutes later he shows up at your front door (still hella woozy) because he is just that stupidly drunk and he has always wanted to go home to you :((

ANON ??? OUCH ????? THIS MAKES ME SAD AKFJSODHAIA

i've always wanted to do drunk ex-whathaveyou bakugou that shows up at your door too late 🥺 but in this instance !! i feel like. you get a few calls in the middle of the night, but they're very short ?? like you wake up to your phone ringing and it's his number, so you're reaching for it, but it stops before you can answer. and you're thinking, "darn i must have slept through the first few rings," and as you're typing out a text to check in with him, he calls again for like two rings, and then it stops. and then he calls and it rings for one and then it stops.

and so now you're like — okay maybe he's butt-dialing me LOL but he tries again like 20 minutes later and you're so tired of the ring-tone that you answer it as fast as you can and just listen, waiting to see if you can hear his voice distantly, as if you're down in his back-pocket.

but he grumbles, "—the fuck? hello?"

and you ask him, "uh hey, have you been trying to call me?" but you're almost certain he doesn't hear you, because half-way through you are able to hear the loud background music and then the sound of shuffling, his grumpy lil "—the fuck off me, 'm—shut th'hell up—'m on the DAMN PHONE!"

clearly, there's a struggle, so you just kind of wait, worried you're about to hear your ex-husband get nerfed while on patrol maybe ?? but then the music drops away and is replaced by a barely-there scratchy wind, and he's breathless when he asks if you're still there.

"yeah, no, i'm still here. is...everything okay?"

he huffs, so heavy into the phone that the static almost hurts your ears. "whadda'you think?"

it's bitter enough that you blink in the darkness of your room, before glaring at the opposite wall. "excuse me?"

"fuck, 'm sorry, i—fuck." he inhales audibly, stuttering. "i'm sorry."

you frown, head turning; he sounds lazy, like he can't be assed to speak properly, and he's speaks impolitely on the regular — but it's never this bad. all his words sound curved, looped together, and he's shuffling too much on the other end, sniffing loud and mumbling to himself. almost like he's—

"are you...drunk?"

you're expecting an immediate no, even if evidence is proving otherwise, because he's not a drinker. occasionally, when he's out for dinner or at one of kirishima's backyard barbecues, but it's so infrequent that his tolerance is low, for someone of his size. it doesn't take much to have him a little sloshed, and he hates it, not only for the feeling the day after, but because his mouth tends to run. more than usual.

"it's that fuckin'—dunce head ass 'n his—stupid piano teeth, tape-face—"

kaminari and sero, you think. you think.

"'n i didn't want to fuckin' come to shit like this, ever. because they're so 'blah fuckin' blah, get over yourself', as if i'm—whatever. dumbasses." he pauses, and before you can finish piecing together what he's trying to say, he continues. "'n i'm not even like them, because they're fucking losers, and i don't—i don't even want that chick's number, okay? i don't fuckin' care, okay?"

your heart throbs dangerously, suddenly swollen and too tender, at the very thought of him and someone else, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut tight. "bakugou—"

"bakugou?" he cuts you off loudly, offended. "'r'you fuckin'—sorry, shit. bakugou? you're a goddamn bakugou—"

you have the throw the blankets off your lap so that you can hurry to your bedroom door, to shut it before hissing at him. "i'm not gonna sit here and get cussed out, katsuki. we're divorced."

"sorry! fuck, i'm—i mean—sorry, sorry. 'm not—it ain't at you, y'know? you know that, right?"

and you do. you do know that. it's just how he talks, he would tell you, and he would cut down on it for a little while before it inevitably came back and — it just hurts, at times. to be on the receiving end of his hottest flame.

"yeah," you tell him quietly, leaning against the door when he sighs. "yeah, i know."

"she—" he groans, deep and frustrated. "she fuckin'—god, sorry. she did that t'me all th'time, y'know? 'cut the fuckin' attitude, katsuki,' 'n then fuckin' SMACK!" you can hear the sharp sound of his slap, metallic, like he's against a lamp post or something. "but then she's comin' up t'my room, all like, 'y'know i love you' 'n—how 'm i suppos' t'know that stuff?"

he's never really spoken about his childhood; his parents, yes, through comments here and there about how they irritated him, but nothing serious. you've seen firsthand how tumultuous his relationship with his mother is, and she still smacks him around, but he's big now, much bigger than she is; you never considered what it was like for him, when he was younger.

even if he is drunk, even if he won't remember tomorrow — you still want to be there for him.

you realize he's waiting for an answer, with how long he's quiet, and you shrug to yourself before gently saying, "i don't know, katsuki. it sounds like it would have been very confusing."

"yeah, i mean—" he exhales slowly, though the end trails off into a growl, as if he's grown frustrated again. "i would never fuckin' hit you."

"i know that, katsuki, and i've never thought you would. and i would never hit you, either, y'know?"

"yeah," he repeats, and you can hear him swallowing, the sound so thick that you think he might choke. "i'd never hit you, or—or—hey, where is he? i wanna talk to 'im."

at the mention of your son, you peek down the hall to make sure his door isn't open, that he's not snooping around like you've caught him doing lately — but it's still mostly closed, and you don't hear any little feet against the hardwood.

you squint at your phone, blinded momentarily at the blue-light as you check the time. "it's the middle of the night, katsuki, he's asleep."

"did he have a good day?"

"yeah, he—"

"tell me about it. tell me th-the whole thing."

and — you do, as he listens and grunts and murmurs little things you don't catch. occasionally, he'll groan, really quiet like he's trying not to cry, and it's after the third time he asks to speak to him again that you finally decide to call him an uber.

and you put in his home address !!! but not thirty minutes later, you are sort of roused out of sleep because he's lightly knocking on your door, in the middle of the night, and you have to get up and go check so he doesn't wake your son up !!!!

and he's probably a MESS, all red-faced and SAD, rubbing at his eyes, almost tripping into your house because he was leaning against the door. it's not even worth arguing about getting him to his actual home because it's late and he's being a little loud, so you just give him some water and make him lay down on the couch and — he's out like a light right away LOL

but. you wake up a few hours later to him laying in your bed, on top of the blankets, his pants are on the floor but his shirt and jacket are still on LOL and he's not quite touching you, but if you jostle even a little bit, his face will press into your back 🥺 you don't know when he got up and came into your room, but he was sober enough to be quiet about it, and when you wake up in the morning, he's already re-dressed and sitting with your son at the kitchen table 🥺

WAAAAHHH i made this so sad. i'm so sorry akjfajfajaljfa he's such a BABY !!! god help me, bc if it really was me, i would take him back in a heartbeat LOL

[lume-nosity]

an: this is a reupload!! (copy and paste pain) because for some reason my original post wasn’t showing up on the tags?? even my own??? if this doesn’t show up again i’m just gonna leave it as is. also the og’s who saw the post before i took it down are the real ones <3 anyways, requests are closed but i took this as a suggestion because i wanted to do it. when i saw this in my inbox i felt productive/determined to fulfill this ask so you're welcome /Ih and holy shit 2k+ notes on part one you guys are crazy thank you so much i'm so glad you liked it!! you take care of yourself as well dear anon <3

‘i've got my eye on you.’ (pt. 2)

prompt: what would they do if they saw their s/o in an uncomfortable situation

characters: itto, diluc, zhongli, ayato, tartaglia, thoma, kaeya

style: fluff, much fluff

notes: not proofread, lowercase intended, possibly ooc because i used character demos/teasers/ a few voicelines as references, gender neutral reader, the smaller text is whispering, no dialogue/use for [name], kuki shinobu mention in itto's part, how tf do you write zhongli and kaeya, petnames: beloved, treasure, love, swearing, blood mention in tartaglia's part, tartaglia getting a little violent, got lazy while writing the last few portions

reblogs are appreciated!

itto

"HEYYYY THERE YOU ARE!! so uh, are these guys bothering you?"

"huh, so they are. hey! hey, no worries! ill getcha outta here. i'm THE arataki numero uno they’re dealing with."

"hey, so, you're making my lovely super amazing wonderful partner uncomfortable and i would absolutely LOVE it if you leave em alone."

"oh wait, they're already gone. OHHHH did i scare them?? HAHAHAAA, man, that was great. totally worth the scare. anyways! want to have an onikabuto battle? yeah? OKAY! come on, come on, come on!!! i know the best spot to find them. but just so you know, i will beat you this time!"

let me tell you itto's was a lot of fun to write. i don't have to write too seriously!!!

he was looking for you actually, to have a little onikabuto battle since he's determined to win. (despite the many losses he has under his belt)

but seeing you look so uneasy from afar, yeah no he's not having it. ran towards you at mach 20.

one simple glance at him, those creeps are running to their mothers. the best part was that itto was confused as to why they've run off but he assumed it was because of him.

well, he's half right, because what really scared them off was kuki shinobu's shadow quite literally appeared out of nowhere next to you and itto. mvp! you guys weren't aware of her presence, because after they ran off, she just walked away. stealthy. like a boss.

i find it canon that if itto has a s/o shinobu would do anything in her power to keep those two away from trouble/danger. it's her job as deputy leader of the arataki gang, right?

diluc

"look, i'm not interested in small talk, but i'll get straight to the point. if you wish to make things simple for the both of us, see yourselves out. i won't ask again."

"what am i going to do about it? well, wouldn't you like to know." (casually readies his claymore)

"what a bunch of imbeciles. *sigh* i apologize for not arriving here sooner, i'll escort you home."

"you. want to stay with me? alright, i'll arrange a room for you at the winery right away. no? ah. i see. then i suppose my bed would big enough for the two of us to sleep on. are you satisfied with that? good. now let's go."

he isn't the darknight hero for nothing

like the gentleman he is, he was going to accompany you until you get home safely and then exchange goodbyes.

but no, you wanted to stay with him for the night. he has many rooms for the guests to use, but when you in particular suggested to sleep with him in his room, he of course doesn't mind since it's you.

should it be anyone else, it'll be an immediate no. so be glad you get to have this privilege from the guy because he loves you and is willing to do anything for you

zhongli

"pardon the intrusion, but i believe now's the time for the both of us to take our leave. please excuse us."

"it'd be wise for you to not place your indelicate hands onto my beloved. lest you'll see a rather.. grotesque, outcome."

"my dear, are you alright? ... how did i find you, you may ask? oh, please do not underestimate me. i'm far more than what meets the eye."

"we are sharing a contract, after all. to live and cherish life with one another until the end of time, to be safe, filled with tenderness and warmth within our hearts, and to not have anyone interfere that great deal of a bond. for you are my greatest treasure."

rip my brain for having to push zhongli's portion out because it clearly cannot comprehend this man's vocabulary.

you and him are to follow a contract, yes. but it's similar to a confession, if that makes sense?

basically zhongli was the one to confess to you first with his built-in thesaurus (to which you accepted of course if you like him too) and then have you and him sign' this sort of contract as a promise to stick with one another for as long as life can allow it. and by sign...

it's a kiss. to seal the contract :)

ayato

"a pity. hm? yes, i am 'the head of the kamisato clan. but your concerns about my reputation is irrelevant."

"you're harassing my lover, and if i catch you doing this unsightly act once again, then i'm afraid i'll have to resort to something that'll make you wish you've never been born."

"ah, my words were too harsh? nonsense, it was vitally necessary. at least it'd driven them away. well, i guess there are benefits for someone of high status."

"come now, i'll have my staff cook you something to your liking. you are my lover, so they'll be sure to suit your needs. you needn't worry."

fun fact: i've never finished ayato's story quest so i was writing this blind (with the help of some voicelines/demos/teasers, this goes along with the rest of the men on this list)

originally, you two were going on a nightly stroll since he was free but were stopped by a group of creeps. however, ayato handled the matter in his way.

in his head, those creeps are a waste of time and mere bugs because, well, they are. and pathetic, because they immediately recognize him for his high status and they all shrank in his presence. which made things easier for ayato. he made a small threat, and then they zoomed.

afterwards, he wanted to bring you home for dinner instead. continuing to stay out after that ordeal was not an option in his book.

what a good man

tartaglia

"wow, you all are quite bold. daring to do that while i'm here? hah, how risky. i'm actually impressed, by how wrong of a move you've just played."

"say, wouldn't you guys be interested for a sparring session? i'll be delighted to fight you all at the same time to enhance my combative capabilities. no? are you sure? okay, the offer's still on the table you know. and don't think i'm letting you all off so easily."

"love, are you alright? did they hurt you? if they did then i'll be sure to give them the same pain as they did to you. but worse. hm? no? okay, if you insist."

"moving on, let's go home shall we? the more i think about those creeps, the more i'm itching to grab my blades and hunt them down. oh! no, it's nothing. let's move, wouldn't want to stay out for too long."

we all know that he'll definitely end them

the thing is, he was right next to you when it happened and it's almost as if those asshats were blind!!!

blinded by his beauty ig

well, those assholes should sleep with one eye open every night now that tartaglia has seen them.

thoma

"excuse me, my partner and i are in a hurry. we have important business to attend to and we wouldn't want to be late."

"we won't take up the rest of your time, so please, if you'll excuse us."

"phew, that was rough. i didn't like how they were treating you, so i wanted to help you out. oh nonono, there's no need to thank me! as your boyfriend, it's my job to make sure that you're safe and happy at all times!"

"to get your mind off of what happened, i'll cook dinner for you tonight. any preferences? favorites? recipes? ill be sure to write them down!"

thoma based

instead of staying and insulting them, he just makes up an excuse to leave! it saves less time!!

..which shunned the creeps to bits. because you see, to me, people who are as kindhearted as thoma are equivalent to sunshine. and by sunshine i mean blindingly bright.

too nice and polite to the point the creeps are blind and deaf, you get what i mean?

kaeya

"well, well, well, how amusing of you all to act in such a way while i'm here. clearly you weren't cautious about your surroundings nor able to understand the differences between common courtesy and disrespect."

"how do i think so? from what you were displaying a few seconds ago, there's an obvious answer to that. it's allill written in your face. uneasiness. just like my partner."

"run along now, before your feet will run cold."

"ah, please, spare me the thanks. i only did what i had to do. as long as you're safe, that's all that matters to me. now then, allow me to treat you to dinner. it's all on me~"

honestly i got very lost in writing kaya's portion despite listening to his voicelines for like 2-3 times :,)

but, what i can conclude from this is that he'll be the sly bro he usually is with people

except in here, it's a bit different. his words are like that of a snake, wrapping around its prey.

makes sense, because kaeya doesn't stand people who make his s/o uncomfortable. if he scares them off or anything, then so be it. anything to keep you safe.

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Finale Liveblog ahhhhhh

Julian just absolutely brain blasting this old woman

Oh Rex is close enough to call her doll and make her breakfast he is not beating the deadbeat daddy allegation

OH NO DOES SHE KNOW OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS

NEVERMIND I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG

holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay so they did find the bodies eventually holy fuck hooooooly fuck

oh my god rex literally teaching francis how to manipulate oz and use him oh my god ohhhhh my god this is so much more of a betrayal than if francis had just hated him for what he'd done

she knew all along she knew all along and she used him and she

she

oz was right ahahahahah every relationship in his life is fuckign transactional because he KILLED THE ONLY TWO BOYS WHO TRULY LOVED HIM, AND KILLED HIS MOTHER'S LOVE WITH THEM

dude he has to kill his mother now

this is a psychological nuke the likes of which i think sofia could not possibly have ever imagined.

Francis's FACE oh my god.

Julian baby boy maybe Sofia should stand out of sight to not break immersion

God this is absolutely not how hypnotism works is it

IT'LL BE EASIER NOW YOU LITTLE PSYCHO

"I see you in ways other people don't" while she is ACTIVELY USING HIM

dude. dude. I just. It's always the same with Oz, isn't it. Sofia, Eve, his mom. He's the biggest bullshitter in Gotham, and he's so full of it he doesn't have a clue how to sniff it out

God they are both so horrific to each other. Just his horrible cycle of selfishness and toxicity what a twisted family they are

HELLO VIC I MISSED YOU

Oh rip lmao I guess the gangs know the bliss is all gone

Vic baby he's saying all the same stuff oz does, only he believes it, so he can't bullshit people to his side

Oh hey that dude on the other side of the walkie talkie lived!!

Man Oz and Sofia haven't been face to face since ep 4 hahahaha

BERTO MENTION. she hasn't used that name in a hot second

Oh my god Sofia literally using that bird nest metaphor ahahahh whoever that anon was in my inbox you are a genius

Man. Sofia literally just laying out all their horrible family drama in the worlds worst family therapy oh my god

Dude I've been saying for weeks now that Sofia's superpower is to completely shatter people with the truth and. ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait. Is Sofia going to give that cigar cutter in her cleavage to Francis to use on Oz. I think she should give it to her.

Uh. Nevermind

Wow Sofia really is leaning into this evil therapy thing what the fuck. girl.

God i desperately want her to be the girl-jonkler running the aslume at the end of this show please please please

Also Sofia, I think it was the left. I mean I'm sure she knows just so she can do the other one next, but. man. she is fuckin sadistic. im love....

Julian so enthusiastic about all of this hahaahah

I love Sofia like, almost framing this to them or possibly herself as a gift she is giving to Francis. Is this cope? Is this something she sincerely believes? Or is she just being cruel?

I ALREADY FUCKIN KNOW

It's my finger you spineless prick hahahaahha but that doesn't matter to him because its your love he wants it's your adoration your pride and what actually happens to you? Doesn't fucking matter.

I NEVER STOPPED HATING YOU

Sofia's face right then like. damn dude. god i love her

She had enough love for all of them and he soured every last drop of it. For them, for him, for the world.

Sofia really does know the value of just letting a drama play out.

Francis saying Sofia is right this ep, Sofia saying Francis was right last ep, damn.

Oz really is... the only character in this show chronically incapable of learning

Damn mama cobb strong enough to smash a bottle. I don't think even i could do that.

Oh my god no wonder she said "they look at me like i'm not even theirs" because in her mind, she let their murderer go free

also is oz gonna hulk out that she's showing love to an imaginary jack and benny when oz has just seen her hate?

Oh is she just dying right now

Julian doing the get down mr president

MR DETECTIVE YOU DIPSHIT

Sofia baby you did great okay you already hurt Oz please just go to italy with your boy toy

Wow is he not getting this fucking stab looked at

EW EW EW EW

Yeah sure sure. Sofia stabbed you. Sure. Sure.

Oh noooo. Vic... baby.... he is such a believer in Oz's stupid self serving bullshit. He is so good. And pure. And he speaks from the heart and. And Oz acts like this is something Vic rehearsed

And they laugh about it but Vic doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Oz isn't giving him advice on how to most effectively show people the fire you hold in your heart—he's teaching him the art of smoke and mirrors. how to con and grift and bullshit until even you don't know what's true and real

Christ. Vic is so fucking dead

She'd never look at me again unless i get this done.

Oz knowing now that this love is transactional. And fine. He'll make that transaction, he'll take down sofia and then maybe his mom will pretend again that she doesn't hate him, doesn't want him dead

it's not going to work, of course. it can't because this show is about him becoming the penguin. and it can't, because even that transaction was always a lie Francis told herself

I don't think she could ever have loved Oz even if he'd gotten her into a penthouse at age 20. I think she lied to herself to survive living with him, because what was the alternative? Losing all three of her boys?

AHAHAHAHAHAH SOFIA LITERALLY PICKING UP OZ'S GOLD SUMMIT MEMBERS i have to say. I did not anticipate this at ALL

damn girlie really is just gonna dip to go to italy or wherever

sofia really is just setting up the funniest game of capture the flag imaginable while cramming like seven olives in her mouth

i dont' say this often. i desire her carnally.

The gun in the glove compartment surely that will not come back later

Oz originally checking his image in the reflection of the car vs asking Vic now, treating this kid as his reflection

Damn. Is Link really going to fall for Oz's shit again after that truck of cigs thing? Or is this just a ploy to get Oz into the right place for Sofia to pick him up?

Actually maybe that's what loses Vic, that Link betrayed him, and Oz expected it. Idk we shall see

Penguin planning to run for mayor in a couple movies?

Oh Oz is totally gonna send sofia to arkham ahahaha poor baby

Oh my god I thought Sofia was gonna claim credit for Sal's death, not that Oz would give it up himself

I cannot tell you guys how fucking tempting it is to skip right to the end of this episode to see if i'm right you guys

Wow Oz really eyeing that Mayor's office

Is he going to kill Bella and frame Sofia. Is he gonna kill bella and THAT is what turns Vic on him.

oh my god LINK

HAHAHAH I WAS SO RIGHT SHE IS BURNING DOWN FALCONE MANOR

oh god that's the watch Sofia gave him for his birthday FUCK YOU CARMINE

Sofia really is gonna fucking screw over EVERYONE hahaha THREE CIGS BABY

oh god she is so hot i love her you self actualize through arson baybeeeeeeee

that shot of her throwing the cig like a dart is so much oh my god

babygirl i love you

you deserve the world

but yeah she is going into the cold according to the needle drop. definitely going back to arkham

... what's in the trunk. i don't think it's normal luggage. is it more bombs

there is still 20 mins left. i am afraid

This is clearly a trap for someone i just don't know who. Where is vic

I'm so afraid this is the last we get to see of Sofia.

She knows. She always has such a nose for bullshit lmao. Also fuck you Link you gotta know Oz is gonna stab you in the back.

I do think it's promising that Julian has not been seen all day tho. What is he doing.

I love this. I love that Oz and Sofia finally get this one moment to be truly honest with each other.

Well. At the very least, Oz gets to be honest with Sofia. idk that he knows how to be honest with himself anymore.

Why does this look like a chemical factory. I know it's not happening but it'd be so funny for Sofia to become the joker right now.

just dunk her in the goop

Man. Is he actually going to shoot her. Police pls come and save my girl. Cannot believe that's what I'm begging for now.

oh my god

yeah i called it but. Man. This is so painful to watch. also i think my julian prayers are not going to be answered it did not look like Sofia had planned any of this

okay i'm normal about sofia being arrested now.

Okay. I'm normal.

I'm back to not being normal francis and vic and oz all in one place this is all gonna blow up emotionally

Is francis in a coma. is she totally brain dead oh my god.

oh man she really is never going to say she loves him hahaha

she let jack and benny's murderer go and it never got her anything

is he gonna kill her now.

TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME oz you fuckin

he's so fucking delusional jesus putting her hand on his head

dude. is Vic actually gonna live through this episode

holy fuck

did not call that in the least

well. i was right about the pyrrhic victory for Oz

"All kinds of things" shut the fuck up.

God. I cannot believe Vic is living through this show. Admittedly as the kind of guy that his parents would have been ashamed of, but.

Wait. No no

don't

don't do it

no nondfonfodnfodnfodfn

please dont

pelase dont

oz don't you dare

nONONNNONONONONONONONONONONONO

PLEASE DOJNT DO IT NOW PLEAE

NO NO HE IS THEO NLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE WEAKNESS AND HUMAN IN YOU

OZ YOU

OZ

NO

WITH YOUR HANDS???? WITH YOUR FUCKIGN HANDS???? I THOUGHT HE WOUDL PULL A GUN AT LEAST YOU FUCKING

ODSOFANDFONSODNOSDAGNOGNIOAGDSASGJDISGNAGLNFGOSANFOSDO

SANO

NON NO NONONONO

VIC

vic. vic. vic barely lived a month longer than his family

all that good heart and he just. enabled a monster to rise to power. to make gotham worse

HE'S MUGGING HIM

YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU BASTARD YOU

i

i

and the water takes him too.

JULIAN

oH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AHHAAHHAHAHA

JULIAN

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA GETTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS HAHAHAHAHAH

SELINA KYLE???????? HELLO??????????????

bro.... oh my god..... this is....

I'm so happy.........

sofia smiling... sofia finding a new family member....

nvm i am so glad my original theories were wrong this is way better than anything i could have hoped for

oh my god

ohhhhh my god he actually is keeping his mom in a vegetative state.... exactly what she begged him not to do.......

she knows.... she knows... some part of her is aware in there ahahahahah

you should have let Rex kill him all those years ago

oh my god EVE???? EVE GIRL GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU TOO

oh no please tell me he never learned what happened with sofia and eve

hes literally just calling her ma. fuck me. mayeb that means eve is safe for now

NOT THE BATSIGNAL

[kaylaz-world-00]

Bloopers

So I decided to make a bloopers to celebrate 300 followers :)

I thought and was like why would I choose one fic to write bloopers about so I am gonna write all my Bullfrog and Rayman fic’s bloopers (But because there is a lot published I can’t do a lot for one fic)

Lemme write for Rayman first because he has less Qwq (I will leave a link to -nearly- every bloopers I’ll write so if you guys don’t remember/didn’t read yet you can go and see)

Masterlist

Taglist: @blorbostation @eateableworm @livelaughluvvfaithyy @darkchanx @astoraa @shiroisotto64 @kalemwoof @oneofthesillies @sleepyscribe @lpsyumy-chan

Everyone is welcome in the tag list

Dear anons; I would really appreciate it if you could choose an emoji while sending your asks and requests (and stick with it) so I can tell you apart. Thank you~

Stary Night

“You are over one hundred?”

“Cut! You didn’t sound too shocked let’s do it again!”

“Why didn’t you sound too shocked Y/N?”

“It’s not too surprising you old man.”

“Hey!”

——————————————————

He quickly sit up with the most arrogant, playful grin you ever saw him wearing, “Ahhh, I know. I get it. It’s me isn’t it?”

You burst into laughing, “Holy shit, what? You?! No way!” You chocked between your laughing fit, hitting his side playfully.

“Shit!” He yelped, losing his balance and falling off of the tree. You freaked out, crawling to the edge, “Rayman!!?”

A painful muffled moan come from him, “..am fine….”

——————————————————

On The Run

You two run for your dear little lives, meantime trying to escape the spears throwing at you two, only for you to lose your balance and face plan on the ground, a few spears falling on you causing you to grunt in pain. Everyone stopping their act and start to snicker. Rayman comes to your side laughing, “Run, Y/n! Run! They are coming to get our asses!"

—————————————————

You scoffed turning to him, you can finally question him. But you halted seeing him strugle. "What are you doing?"

He turned to you, "Oh nothing it's just--" he pull out a rose under him and smirked, "This is for you."

—————————————————

He was inviding your space, "Are we about to kiss?"

You smack him on the head, "Tell the lines right! We've been trying to take this scene for an hour!"

—————————————————

"You okay?" Rayman glanced back.

You were struggling inside the cauldron, "Shit I am sorry, I can't feel the ground under my feet—" accidently pulling Rayman with you as you two were tied together. You both loose your balance falling together with the cauldron, "Fuck!"

—————————————————

Fruits (suggestive warning)

"Well, yes, but it's mostly because... uh... fuck I forget my line." Rayman groaned

"Again? Really?"

"What?"

—————————————————

The camera lands on the two kissing agressivly. The two soon loose balance and fall.

"What the--"

"We Are Practicing Kissing!!"

—————————————————

"Should we measure our hands?"

"Why?... oh, fuck, wait!"

"You idiot. Tell your lines right for once!" You sobbed

—————————————————

He dipped you down, "Oh god you are heavy." He wheezed out jokingly. "Slipping! We are falling!" He yelled teasingly.

"No,no,no,no,no,no! RAYMAN!"

—————————————————

Hotel

Playing with his clothes as if they are suffocating him, "God, I don't like these clothes at all. They are so tight."

"Shut up and play along." You scoffed

—————————————————

You were about to slap him to wake up. “WAKE UP BITCH” and you just did that

“AH! HEY! THAT FUCKING HURT—”

—————————————————

You shake him outside of the plane, the cold didn’t seemed to faze him, “Fuck, He actually slept? Again?”

You glanced around and smirked mischievously, letting him go off of the plane. “Heh.”

You heard him groan in pain as he face planted on the cold concrete, “Fucking… traitor…”

—————————————————

“Light! It’s been so long since I’ve heard from you— What are you both doing?” He paused walking over the view of the camera as he stared at you and Rayman’s dance

“JOIN THE CULT FROG—“

—————————————————

It’s Bullfrog’s turn!

Rooftop Talks

You notice he pulled out a can of juice. He took its straw and dipped it into the box, “Wants some?”

“Sure.” You leaned in for a sip. After a long sip you let it go with a sigh. Bullfrog poked his tongue out trying to get the straw in his own mouth and sips on it with a happy hum.

Someone from the background snickered, “You know that you two technically kissed right?”

You flushed, “Shut the fuck up.”

—————————————————

He took its straw and dipped it into the box, “Wants some?”

"Sure.” You leaned in for a sip. After a long sip you let it go coughing, "Ah fuck." You chocked loudly.

"Oh shit."

—————————————————

Don’t Leave

You are carrying Bullfrog on your back as he wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly.

“Mm you are so warm.”

You wheezed, “bullfrog…can’t breath..”

—————————————————

Bullfrog covered in fake blood, he dips his hands inside the pail full of them, and flap his hands around, “Blood. Bleh. Bleh. For you and for you, mes amis. Je vomis du sang.”

You wheezed on the hall.

—————————————————

You accidentally hit his head on the door while carrying him inside. He hissed in pain and you panic.

“HOLY SHIT. I AM SO SORRY—“

—————————————————

Hibernation

You two roll around on top of each other fighting. You were nearly able to escape and get up from the ground but he jumped on top of you like a basketball player with a huge snowball on his hands, hitting you right in the head. “REVENGEEEE” You both fell on the snow, he on top of you as he laughed. You screamed in fright as he held you hostage under the snow. “YOU WANTED NEIGE. THERE YOU HAVE IT—“

—————————————————

Bullfrog seemed to choose to run away.

“FUCK—“ He slipped and fell on his butt.

“Holy shit.”

He laughed, “I am so sorry! One more time, s’il te plaît!”

—————————————————

He grabbed your arm, “Let’s go!”

He pulled you causing you to lose your balance and drop your drink, he fell along with you “Shit.”

You two laughed.

“I am sorry!” He yelled, “We have to took this scene again!”

“Please, my arm gonna pull off—“ You choked out.

—————————————————

“Hey, Bullfrog where are you going?”

He said his line and waited for you to shoot him with a snowball but he burst out laughing to see you miss him. Again.

You laughed falling on your knees, “NOO, THAT WAS MY LAST STRENGTH. WE ARE TRYING THIS FOR AN HOUR. WHY AM I MISSING YOU EVERYTIMEEEE!!!”

He fell on his side wheezing. “Want- want some break?” He choked out.

“Please.” You sobbed. “I can’t feel my feet and hands in this snow!”

—————————————————

You read the script as it is written, “Dors avec moi. How am I pronouncing this?”

Bullfrog, “Okay say. Doğ-avek-moa”

“Dogh avek moaa- what?”

He snickered, “Haha okay— Repeat after me. Doğ-“

“Doghh?”

“Avek.”

“Aveyk?”

“Moa.”

“Mua?”

“Dors avec moi.”

“Ddohhhhh…. Can you repeat again? A bit more slow this time. Please….”

—————————————————

Assurance

You glance up from the chair you are sitting in the balcony, to see a movement “FUCK!” You jump on your seat in fright to see Bullfrog, not expecting him.

He quickly apologized with a concern and amused face as you gripped your chest and took deep breaths.

—————————————————

“We are going to watch the sun ri—?“ He paused with a buzzing nose. He pouted and shoo the fly away. “Tu dois être en train de me baiser en ce moment. Une mouche?” He grumbld to himself as you laugh.

—————————————————

"You are so beautiful just by being you, and you are so fascinating just by being you. Among all the people I know, you easily stand out, with your stance, the way you speak, your thoughts and—“ You suddenly sneezed in the middle of his speech and then turn to him like nothing happened. You two stared.

Then laugh.

“Oh my god. I am so sorry” you wheezed out

—————————————————

Enemies

He pinned you to the ground, you two both breathless. And then you couldn’t hold back your laugh, “I am so sorry.” He laughed along with you letting you go.

He sit next to you, “mon Dieu…”

—————————————————

“Halt and raise your havavazghh FUCK!”

Bullfrog snorted at that.

—————————————————

“Leave me alone, madame, Its- I’m no—“ He choked on his breath, “baise, water?—” He choked loudly.

“Shit! He is dying!!”

—————————————————

“I always wanted to die as a hero.” The moment you two glance at each other’s eyes you burst out laughing.

He wheezed, “This is one of those moments! I have no clue why I am laughing!”

—————————————————

You pressed him on the ground with a growl.

He bit his lip. “Wow” He didn’t even said anything and you start to laugh just by his expression.

“Fuck no.” You let him go as you two laughed.

—————————————————

Drunk

“Shh you are so loud.” You pressed your finger over his lips, he couldn’t stop himself from coughing out a laugh. You both stood on the door snickering.

You wheezed, “I am so sorry. I can’t play like this.”

“Let’s do it again.”

“Ookay okay…”

You pressed your lips into a thin line trying to suppress yourself, though it didn’t work much as you both start to laugh again.

“FUCK”

—————————————————

He tries to help you walk only for you to lean all your weight on him disturbing his balance, you both fall on the ground laughing.

—————————————————

He sighed with your inaudible whining. He flushed even more with you leave little kisses over his face. Soon your lips find his, “Kiss me frog and turn me into a princess/prince.”

He wheezed out, “Isn’t that suppose to happen the other way?!”

“Will you turn into a prince if I do?”

“Wanna try me?”

“GIMME A SMOOCH”

[td-rarepairs]

Quote Book Anon is here to present some incorrect quotes (P.S: Quote Book Anon doesn't ship all of these, they just make the most accurate ones for rarepairs):

Noah: Ooh, somebody has a crush!

Owen: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Justin I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him.

*Later that night*

Owen, very much awake: Uh oh.

Trent: This date is boring!

Harold: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Trent: Then why did you invite me?

Harold: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Harold I'll do whatever I want!

DJ: I’m in love with you.

Ezekiel: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, homie.

DJ: I know.

Ezekiel: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Trent: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Ezekiel: Wow. They sound stupid.

Trent: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Ezekiel: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Trent: I guess you’re right. Hey Ezekiel, I love you.

Ezekiel: See! Just say that!

Trent: Holy fucking shit.

Ezekiel: If that flies over their head then, sorry Trent, but they're too dumb for you.

Trent: Ezekiel.

Alejandro: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Tyler: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Alejandro: But you’re always acting stupid?

Tyler: ...

Tyler: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Alejandro, talking about Duncan: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

.

[sonicblueartist]

Bloopers

So I decided to make a bloopers to celebrate 300 followers :)

I thought and was like why would I choose one fic to write bloopers about so I am gonna write all my Bullfrog and Rayman fic’s bloopers (But because there is a lot published I can’t do a lot for one fic)

Lemme write for Rayman first because he has less Qwq (I will leave a link to -nearly- every bloopers I’ll write so if you guys don’t remember/didn’t read yet you can go and see)

Masterlist

Taglist: @blorbostation @eateableworm @livelaughluvvfaithyy @darkchanx @astoraa @shiroisotto64 @kalemwoof @oneofthesillies @sleepyscribe @lpsyumy-chan

Everyone is welcome in the tag list

Dear anons; I would really appreciate it if you could choose an emoji while sending your asks and requests (and stick with it) so I can tell you apart. Thank you~

Stary Night

“You are over one hundred?”

“Cut! You didn’t sound too shocked let’s do it again!”

“Why didn’t you sound too shocked Y/N?”

“It’s not too surprising you old man.”

“Hey!”

——————————————————

He quickly sit up with the most arrogant, playful grin you ever saw him wearing, “Ahhh, I know. I get it. It’s me isn’t it?”

You burst into laughing, “Holy shit, what? You?! No way!” You chocked between your laughing fit, hitting his side playfully.

“Shit!” He yelped, losing his balance and falling off of the tree. You freaked out, crawling to the edge, “Rayman!!?”

A painful muffled moan come from him, “..am fine….”

——————————————————

On The Run

You two run for your dear little lives, meantime trying to escape the spears throwing at you two, only for you to lose your balance and face plan on the ground, a few spears falling on you causing you to grunt in pain. Everyone stopping their act and start to snicker. Rayman comes to your side laughing, “Run, Y/n! Run! They are coming to get our asses!"

—————————————————

You scoffed turning to him, you can finally question him. But you halted seeing him strugle. "What are you doing?"

He turned to you, "Oh nothing it's just--" he pull out a rose under him and smirked, "This is for you."

—————————————————

He was inviding your space, "Are we about to kiss?"

You smack him on the head, "Tell the lines right! We've been trying to take this scene for an hour!"

—————————————————

"You okay?" Rayman glanced back.

You were struggling inside the cauldron, "Shit I am sorry, I can't feel the ground under my feet—" accidently pulling Rayman with you as you two were tied together. You both loose your balance falling together with the cauldron, "Fuck!"

—————————————————

Fruits (suggestive warning)

"Well, yes, but it's mostly because... uh... fuck I forget my line." Rayman groaned

"Again? Really?"

"What?"

—————————————————

The camera lands on the two kissing agressivly. The two soon loose balance and fall.

"What the--"

"We Are Practicing Kissing!!"

—————————————————

"Should we measure our hands?"

"Why?... oh, fuck, wait!"

"You idiot. Tell your lines right for once!" You sobbed

—————————————————

He dipped you down, "Oh god you are heavy." He wheezed out jokingly. "Slipping! We are falling!" He yelled teasingly.

"No,no,no,no,no,no! RAYMAN!"

—————————————————

Hotel

Playing with his clothes as if they are suffocating him, "God, I don't like these clothes at all. They are so tight."

"Shut up and play along." You scoffed

—————————————————

You were about to slap him to wake up. “WAKE UP BITCH” and you just did that

“AH! HEY! THAT FUCKING HURT—”

—————————————————

You shake him outside of the plane, the cold didn’t seemed to faze him, “Fuck, He actually slept? Again?”

You glanced around and smirked mischievously, letting him go off of the plane. “Heh.”

You heard him groan in pain as he face planted on the cold concrete, “Fucking… traitor…”

—————————————————

“Light! It’s been so long since I’ve heard from you— What are you both doing?” He paused walking over the view of the camera as he stared at you and Rayman’s dance

“JOIN THE CULT FROG—“

—————————————————

It’s Bullfrog’s turn!

Rooftop Talks

You notice he pulled out a can of juice. He took its straw and dipped it into the box, “Wants some?”

“Sure.” You leaned in for a sip. After a long sip you let it go with a sigh. Bullfrog poked his tongue out trying to get the straw in his own mouth and sips on it with a happy hum.

Someone from the background snickered, “You know that you two technically kissed right?”

You flushed, “Shut the fuck up.”

—————————————————

He took its straw and dipped it into the box, “Wants some?”

"Sure.” You leaned in for a sip. After a long sip you let it go coughing, "Ah fuck." You chocked loudly.

"Oh shit."

—————————————————

Don’t Leave

You are carrying Bullfrog on your back as he wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly.

“Mm you are so warm.”

You wheezed, “bullfrog…can’t breath..”

—————————————————

Bullfrog covered in fake blood, he dips his hands inside the pail full of them, and flap his hands around, “Blood. Bleh. Bleh. For you and for you, mes amis. Je vomis du sang.”

You wheezed on the hall.

—————————————————

You accidentally hit his head on the door while carrying him inside. He hissed in pain and you panic.

“HOLY SHIT. I AM SO SORRY—“

—————————————————

Hibernation

You two roll around on top of each other fighting. You were nearly able to escape and get up from the ground but he jumped on top of you like a basketball player with a huge snowball on his hands, hitting you right in the head. “REVENGEEEE” You both fell on the snow, he on top of you as he laughed. You screamed in fright as he held you hostage under the snow. “YOU WANTED NEIGE. THERE YOU HAVE IT—“

—————————————————

Bullfrog seemed to choose to run away.

“FUCK—“ He slipped and fell on his butt.

“Holy shit.”

He laughed, “I am so sorry! One more time, s’il te plaît!”

—————————————————

He grabbed your arm, “Let’s go!”

He pulled you causing you to lose your balance and drop your drink, he fell along with you “Shit.”

You two laughed.

“I am sorry!” He yelled, “We have to took this scene again!”

“Please, my arm gonna pull off—“ You choked out.

—————————————————

“Hey, Bullfrog where are you going?”

He said his line and waited for you to shoot him with a snowball but he burst out laughing to see you miss him. Again.

You laughed falling on your knees, “NOO, THAT WAS MY LAST STRENGTH. WE ARE TRYING THIS FOR AN HOUR. WHY AM I MISSING YOU EVERYTIMEEEE!!!”

He fell on his side wheezing. “Want- want some break?” He choked out.

“Please.” You sobbed. “I can’t feel my feet and hands in this snow!”

—————————————————

You read the script as it is written, “Dors avec moi. How am I pronouncing this?”

Bullfrog, “Okay say. Doğ-avek-moa”

“Dogh avek moaa- what?”

He snickered, “Haha okay— Repeat after me. Doğ-“

“Doghh?”

“Avek.”

“Aveyk?”

“Moa.”

“Mua?”

“Dors avec moi.”

“Ddohhhhh…. Can you repeat again? A bit more slow this time. Please….”

—————————————————

Assurance

You glance up from the chair you are sitting in the balcony, to see a movement “FUCK!” You jump on your seat in fright to see Bullfrog, not expecting him.

He quickly apologized with a concern and amused face as you gripped your chest and took deep breaths.

—————————————————

“We are going to watch the sun ri—?“ He paused with a buzzing nose. He pouted and shoo the fly away. “Tu dois être en train de me baiser en ce moment. Une mouche?” He grumbld to himself as you laugh.

—————————————————

"You are so beautiful just by being you, and you are so fascinating just by being you. Among all the people I know, you easily stand out, with your stance, the way you speak, your thoughts and—“ You suddenly sneezed in the middle of his speech and then turn to him like nothing happened. You two stared.

Then laugh.

“Oh my god. I am so sorry” you wheezed out

—————————————————

Enemies

He pinned you to the ground, you two both breathless. And then you couldn’t hold back your laugh, “I am so sorry.” He laughed along with you letting you go.

He sit next to you, “mon Dieu…”

—————————————————

“Halt and raise your havavazghh FUCK!”

Bullfrog snorted at that.

—————————————————

“Leave me alone, madame, Its- I’m no—“ He choked on his breath, “baise, water?—” He choked loudly.

“Shit! He is dying!!”

—————————————————

“I always wanted to die as a hero.” The moment you two glance at each other’s eyes you burst out laughing.

He wheezed, “This is one of those moments! I have no clue why I am laughing!”

—————————————————

You pressed him on the ground with a growl.

He bit his lip. “Wow” He didn’t even said anything and you start to laugh just by his expression.

“Fuck no.” You let him go as you two laughed.

—————————————————

Drunk

“Shh you are so loud.” You pressed your finger over his lips, he couldn’t stop himself from coughing out a laugh. You both stood on the door snickering.

You wheezed, “I am so sorry. I can’t play like this.”

“Let’s do it again.”

“Ookay okay…”

You pressed your lips into a thin line trying to suppress yourself, though it didn’t work much as you both start to laugh again.

“FUCK”

—————————————————

He tries to help you walk only for you to lean all your weight on him disturbing his balance, you both fall on the ground laughing.

—————————————————

He sighed with your inaudible whining. He flushed even more with you leave little kisses over his face. Soon your lips find his, “Kiss me frog and turn me into a princess/prince.”

He wheezed out, “Isn’t that suppose to happen the other way?!”

“Will you turn into a prince if I do?”

“Wanna try me?”

“GIMME A SMOOCH”

[manicplank]

(Modern tech Anon here, finally confident enough to ask with my account LMAO) For the non-human characters, what would their reaction be to suddenly being human? For those who are already human, what about their reactions to their now-human friends? (I may or may not be writing a story based on this very concept lol)

Hello former anon!

Suddenly being human! (This one is long so buckle up.)

Pepperman: He woke up feeling really weird. He looks in the mirror and screams loud enough to cause tsunamis. WHO IS THAT?? WHY IS HE COPYING EVERY MOVEMENT HE MAKES???!?!?! Oh, wait... Is that HIM?? Huh... He flexes his muscles and ends up staring at himself for hours. Niiiice. This gives him an idea! He makes a statue of his human greatness as well as a painting. He went out for a walk around the tower in his fanciest clothes. "See something you like?" People in the tower are SHOCKED. This weird strange pepper is now a handsome hunk of human! Pizzahead wants to "talk to him" in another room. (wink wink) Just kidding! He explains the anomaly situation and offers to change him back to normal, but Pepperman wants one day of being a human.

The Vigilante: He went to Noisette's Café in the morning to get his usual cup of hot, bitter black coffee. However, when he walked in, she screamed. He was incredibly confused. "WHO ARE YOU, MONSTER MAN," she yelled at him. "Noisette, it's me! Vigi! 'Member?" She screams again. He goes into the restroom and looks in the mirror. "HOLY CHEESUS CRUST IN HEAVEN! CALL THE PRIEST! I'VE BEEN CHANGED INTO A WEREHUMAN!!" He goes home and hides. He's absolutely terrified. The Noise busts in to see what Vigi did to Noisette and why she was crying. When The Noise saw him, he laughed and took a picture. He showed the ENTIRE tower, and The Vigilante was so embarrassed. Pizzahead came to the rescue. He explained that there's some sort of weird anomaly going around the tower that's been turning people into humans. He takes him back to the lab and turns him back to normal. Phew! That was scary.

The Noise: He woke up, used the bathroom, and went to go brush his teeth. As he did, he was staring himself in the mirror. Something looked... different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Hey, Noisette? Can you come in here for a minute?" Noisette enters the room to see her boyfriend is suddenly taller with a smaller nose and normal ears. "Uh... Noisey," she clears her throat, "are you feeling okay? You look kind of weird..." He looks back in the mirror. Huh... That's strange... He looks... Human?? Whatever, he figures, it's too early for this shit. He tries to get ready for the day, but his clothes don't fit the same, especially not his costume. Noisette stares at him with conflict in her eyes. She's concerned that her boyfriend looks so different, but... He's kind of fine. Noise dresses himself in whatever clothes he can squeeze into and storms over to the lab. Pizzahead is shocked. The anomaly keeps moving from person to person. The Noise was pissed and damn near assaulted Pizzahead. Thankfully, Pizzahead threw him in a tube and turned him back to normal before he could throw a punch.

Noisette: After that whole fiasco with The Noise becoming human, she was ready to put everything behind and go to bed. However, when she wakes up in the morning, she looks in the mirror to find that the exact same thing happened to her! She screeches loud enough to wake The Noise up. He rubs over to her in a panic but is disappointed when he sees that she's completely okay. "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO PEOPLE," she shouts. He sighs and grabs her hand. "Come on," he mumbles tiredly, "let's go see Pizzahead." They get to the lab, and Pizzahead is not amused. He's frustrated that this anomaly keeps spreading from place to place. He can't seem to catch it. He throws her in a tube and snaps his fingers. Boop! Back to normal. She squeals with joy! She grabs Noise by the hand. "Okay, let's go home and go back to sleep!"

Fake Peppino: Eugh... He feels kind of weird today... He tried to catch a fly with his tongue, but it wouldn't stretch out. Weird... He tried to crawl in the vent, but he was too chunky to fit! Weird! He gives out a frustrated groan only to sound line a normal person! He screams bloody murder. Pizzahead hears him and figures it's just Peppino. Fakey manages to escape Bruno's and races to find Pizzahead. He bursts into the lab at Mach 3, startling Pizzahead. Fakey points and screams. Pizzahead is confused. "Peppino? I don't understand, the timers should've started as soon as you entered the War level!" Fakey screams again and jumps up and down, flailing his arms. "Fakey?? Is that... Is that YOU?!" Pizzahead scoops him up and throws him in a tube without hesitation. However, it takes a few hours for Fakey to return to his normal, goopy self.

Pizzaface: Huh... His gears aren't grinding today, but he's still moving. He feels weird. Something is off... He goes to Pizzahead immediately. "What did you do to me now," he shouted. Pizzahead was just as shocked as he was. "Uh, ok so," Pizzahead clears his throat, "there's this weird anomaly thing going around turning people into humans. I guess it managed to turn you into one, too. So uh... Get in the tube, and I'll fix you up! Hopefully..." Pizzaface gives him a scowl. "You haven't even TRIED fixing the anomaly, have you?" Pizzahead puts his head down in shame. He hasn't done anything about the anomaly other than turn people back into what they're supposed to be. Shun. Pizzaface gets into the tube, and BOOM! Once he's turned back into a machine, he burst the tube as he was too big to fit. Whoops. He flies off in a huff.

Pizzahead: Before he goes to bed, he thinks about the anomaly. It's so strange to him. Is it a curse? A blessing? Is it some sort of strange deity possessing people? He's starting to get frustrated. What is it, why is it, and what can he do to stop it? He sighs and lays down. He wakes up in the morning less ticky than usual. Oh my GOD! It got him! The anomaly has finally caught up to him. While he should be concerned, he is delighted. He's always wondered what it's like to be a human. He doesn't entirely recognize himself, but he's in awe. He's still obsessed with his own appearance. He can finally experiment and figure out what this anomaly is all about! Once he gets to the lab, he blanks out. What is he even supposed to do other than fix himself? Hmmm.... Oh well! He figures he can experiment with it on whoever gets it next. In the meantime, he's already had enough of being a human, it sucks! He presses a button and hops into the tube. POOF! Ahhh, back to normal.

Pillar John: He had dozed off out of boredom due to the fact that he can't do anything or go anywhere. However, the tower starts rumbling and wakes him up. Huh... How did the roof vet all the way up there? He sits up to find that he suddenly has human legs. Wait... WAIT... Uh oh... Without him supporting the tower, it's starting to crumble. As much as he'd like to look into this whole being human thing, he's panicking! Pizzahead runs over to him. GOD DAMN IT, IT'S THE ANOMALY! He grabs John and rushes to the lab. He has to be fixed before the tower collapses! He literally THROWS John into a tube and presses the button a million times. Poof! He's a pillar! Hooray! Wait... How's he gonna get John back to the main spot? Hmmm. POOF! He's a human again. "John! Grab that tube, and let's go!" The two rush back to the soft spot of the tower. POOF! Once again, he's a pillar supporting the weight of the tower. Phew! Wait... He totally missed his chance to escape!

Gerome: POOF! He wasn't even sleeping when it happened. Suddenly, within a blink, he was just taller. He was unamused. Whatever. He couldn't care less. He has weird human legs and arms. Again, doesn't care. He just keeps mopping the same spot over and over again. The tower is so FILTHY. Pizzahead pops by. Yep, Gerome's a human just as he suspected. He throws a tube at him. BANG! While it hurt, Gerome was once again made of stone. Cool. Still doesn't care.

-

This one was fun

[florentinofiasco]

HOLY SHIT ACCARDI AHAHAHA

leans on Barbie car

Gulp

Hey gorgeous uh haha one chance bro one chance 😼

-🦇

oh? I must say, I adore the boldness, Anon.

Maybe as much as I adore you~ hehe. just kidding.

You should give me a reason to give you a chance, hm? make my time worth it, and i'll do the same for you.

[nnnyxie]

Okay wait wait wait

You know I adore fan!Reader but what if it was Writer!reader??? Like writing fanfiction about Izuku x reader or generally hero x reader and their blog is fairly popular (assuming they use Tumblr bc yes) reader is friends with maybe Denki And Sero through some weird as connections because they‘re just a random ass civilian but keep getting introduced to heros this way

Through that they get a better understanding of the heros personality’s and can write more realistic ffs >:) maybe they‘re Denkis roomie because reader is broke and denki needs someone to care for his pet or something while he’s away- and they‘re writing a Deku x reader fiction right now and then the doorbell rings and they leave their laptop open in the kitchen and get the door- IT‘S DEKU!! They blush and stammer, letting him in saying denki should be home soon

To their demise Deku is met with a life sitze cardboard cutout of Himself (he still towers over it) and reader hurriedly tries to hide it away with the other merch

As they are busy he notices the open laptop, he REALLY didn’t mean to snoop but…holy shit

The things he finds..he blushes and quickly returns to the living space (like living room open kitchen situation yk?) and quietly Sits on the couch, flustered

Something along those lines :)

#𖢥 izuku anon

wait bc this is literally genius and ily

you’re childhood best friends with denki <3

to save up some money, the two of y’all move in together after high school. he wants to start his own agency with sero and you wanna start your own thing!! (idk you choose??)

getting that out of the way.

denki never really let’s you know when people are coming over. he’s kinda annoying like that. it’s caused a lot of awkward moments and meetings.

like when you first met sero— you were cooking and screaming the lyrics to ‘kiss me through the phone’ by soulja boy when he walked in. it was… embarrassing to say the least.

but hey— you’re good friends now!!

anywaysss

for the first time ever!!! denki let you know that he had a friend coming over!! he didn’t say which one or what time but— at least he warned you???

you didn’t think much of it cause it was probably sero or kirishima, since they come over the most.

you heard a knock on the door— which was odd bc usually one of them would just burst in. they had their own keys— they were supposed to be emergency keys but still!! it was odd!!

ofc you were silly nd didn’t look through the peep hole!! (remember kids, always check before opening the door)

when you opened it you slammed it back shut.

“uhm— does— does denki live here?” the person asked through the door. you opened it again, “sorry… uh— yeah uhm… he does.” you tried to act cool but your stomach was twisting.

“i’m midoriya izuku. i was supposed to come over and help him with paperwork today… is he home?” you silently cursed denki for not telling you, your favorite hero would be coming over. “uhh not yet… he’ll be home in like,” you checked your phone, “uhm probably an hour or so.” you were shaking from anxiety. you weren’t prepared for this— at all.

“would it be alright if i waited?” he asked, very politely. you just gave a quick nod and let him inside.

you felt like running out the door cause like— what if you made a fool of yourself?? what if you make him uncomfortable??? what if he sees your merch of him??

wait— did you close your bedroom door?

you’d been in the living room all day so you had no need for it to be closed—

and your bedroom is very visible from the living room so it’s not like it mattered if it was or not—

your bedroom is very visible from the living room.

your posters. your plush of his mask. your sweatshirt.

the fucking cardboard cutout.

then— you remembered you also left your laptop open. with your current deku one-shot on display.

“oh, do you write?” izuku says, seeing your laptop open, luckily he was far enough away so that the words were fuzzy. “well! uhm!” you shouted, accidentally. you were just nervous, okay??

you clear your throat— “yes uh— yeah. i do.”

“that’s so cool! can i—” suddenly, you dashed towards your bedroom, remembering the big ass posters and cutout that were on complete display. “hah hah! sorry! uhh… had to uhm… close a door! bad omens!” izuku gave you a weird look but nodded in understanding. i mean, some people have different beliefs—

“so uhh you can go ahead and take a seat! i’ll be in the kitchen! let me know if you need something!” you grabbed your laptop, and beelined towards the kitchen. “uh yeah— thank you,” izuku was a bit upset, honestly. does he make you feel uncomfortable? do you have something against him? why are you acting like this?

it’d been hardly two minutes and izuku already got bored (he has autism & adhd, he told me)

so. he did what anyone would do and began to snoop!!

he quietly looked at the pictures hung throughout the apartment— they were mainly just you and denki, it made him wonder if the two of you were together.

but then he remembered that denki called you his best friend rather than significant other. (he smiled)

after he looked throughout the living room and hallway— he wanted to peak at the bathroom.

IT SOUNDS WEIRD— I KNOW!!!

BUT!!!!

the bathroom can tell a lot about someone. like the kind of soap you use can tell the sort of scent you like or how cleanly you are (if that makes sense).

or if you have paper towels rather than a bath towel can tell whether you are cautious when it comes to ‘cross contamination’ (lord knows you wouldn’t want to share a drying rag with denki).

“uhm, excuse me?” izuku peaks through the doorway of the kitchen. you tense, “uh— yes?” “where’s the bathroom?” “it’s uhm down the hallway to the left.”

he smiles and thanks you. then makes his way towards the bathroom.

now. you see— the way the apartment is set up is odd.

your bedroom door is on the left but!! it’s tilted.

(i’m terrible with descriptions so here’s a few examples)

anyways. yeah. that’s how it is.

so i think you know where i’m going with this.

now YOU’D THINK !!!! he’d know that the left meant the LEFT left and not the TILTED left. but, no.

though, it’s understandable!! the setup is a little confusing.

he creeps on down the hallway, once again looking at the pictures of you and denki.

once he reaches the tilted left door, he opens it. he’s met with a, slightly shorter, cardboard cutout of him. as well as multiple posters and a few strawn out sweatshirts.

so that’s why.

he feels a blush come on. his entire face feels like it’s on fire and his ears burn as well.

izuku quietly closes your bedroom door and goes to sit back on the couch.

while that all happened, your nerves began to settle and you hyped yourself up to go bring him a glass of water— and maybe start a conversation.

“uhm— i thought that maybe, you’d like some water,” you walked in with two cups. he was a little sweaty— and still very red. he stuttered out a ‘thank you’ and basically chugged the water.

“how long have you known denki?” you ask, feeling stupid because, he’s probably known him since UA.

“oh— uhm i’ve known him since we were about… fifteen, i think? what— what about you?” his face was still very red. it started to make you nervous. “we’ve been friends since we were eight… next door neighbors and all that.” he gave a nod and began tapping his foot. his nervousness was rubbing off on you.

“so uh… what’s it like being a hero?” his tapping instantly stopped— and his energy changed. it was like he lit up. “well— it’s different for everyone! for me, it’s amazing. i love being a hero. i love helping people and being able to see their happy faces after rescuing them. i’ve always wanted to make people happy, and save them all with a smile. kind of like all might. now that i’m able to— i feel so full.” izuku smiled, staring at his hands that rested in his lap. “being able to do this all— being able to be a hero— i just feel so happy.” izuku smiled and looked back up, meeting your eyes.

“and, i love getting to meet my amazing fans.” he held a sort of hint in his eyes— almost saying ‘i know’.

eeee this was pretty fun!!

i’ll be so real, i wrote some of this when i was tipsy

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Could I request a lemon x wife!reader were he doesn’t know she’s working the same job as him nor her being an assassin in general and he finds out once they’ve crossed paths?

I’m just now getting into bullet train fics and I’m now starving over here😭

IVE NEVER REALLY WRITTEN FOR LEMON SO IM SO HAPPY I CAN DO THIS THANK YOU ANON 🤭I always make the reader ladybugs partner because it’s such a funny dynamic

Lies

“Shut up.” You whisper yelled to your partner, ladybug.

“You shut up!” He sassed back.

You narrowed your eyes at him, which made him mutter a small “sorry” and shut up.

You furrowed an eyebrow as you looked in the hall.

“That’s literally my fucking… brother in law.” You mumbled, and you both hid in a small space while he entered the room, talking on the phone.

Somehow, you both had managed to get not caught and go the opposite direction.

“Holy shit. My brother in law- my husbands brother is literally working for the white death. I can’t hurt my brother in law!” You grabbed Ladybugs shoulders, shaking them.

He raised his eyebrows and grabbed your shoulders instead, looking into your eyes.

“We’re not hurting anyone. We are getting the fuck off this train.” He said, trying his best to calm you down.

“Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.” You nodded, and you both walked, talking some.

That’s when you walked straight into someone when you looked the other way.

“Oh. Shit I’m so sorry s…” your words stopped when you looked at the man, the man looked at you with wide eyes.

He said your name, it came out as more of a question.

“Uh.. Brian.”

He looked at Ladybug, and back to you.

(I always go off the actors names if they don’t have one, like lemon and tangerine, you can imagine it as something else if you want)

That’s when he attacked ladybug, practically pouncing on him and choking him.

“Stop! Stop! He’s my partner!” You shouted, Brian stopped, looking back at you again.

“Seriously? This asshole?!” He shouted at you, nodding his head at ladybug trapped underneath him. Ladybug regaining his air.

“Okay. Okay. I get you’re mad, but you lied too!”

He sighed heavily, shaking his head.

“You’re right. I shoulda’ told you.”

“Hey, I think some marriage counseling would really help-“ ladybug said, still trapped underneath Lemon.

“Shut it.” You both said at the same time.

“Jeez, I guess that’s why you both get along.” He mumbled to himself.

“I’m sorry for lying.” He said after a while of silence.

“I’m sorry.” You said.

“You both needa get the fuck off this train.” He stood up, staring at you now.

“What? Are you being serious right now?”

“Serious. It’s dangerous, and I swear to god if something happened to you-“

“It won’t.” You cut in.

“Jus’ get off the train-“

“No way.”

“Yes way, come on.” Ladybug grabbed your hand, which you pulled away and turned back to lemon.

“I’m not leaving without you.”

“I’m not leaving without Tangerine.”

“Who?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“My brother.”

“Oh, Aa-“

“Yeah, that’s the one.” He cut you off.

“So what’s your nickname?” You asked.

“Oh, mines Lemon.”

“So, Lemon and tangerine-“

“Like the fruit, yeah, yeah, okay can we please go?” Ladybug groaned.

“If your staying I’m staying.” You argued.

Lemon groaned, looking at the ceiling and then back at you.

“Your too stubborn, you know?”

“You love me.”

“Mm. I do.”

The doors closed, and Ladybug groaned and complained while you both kissed.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hello! This is the last anon who sent in an emergency request regarding my boyfriend and I, and sorry this is pretty late but I’d love to see both sides ! Don’t pressure yourself though and have an amazing day💗 (sorry if this sounds rushed it’s bc it kinda is)

Hey! so here's part 1 of the Law request, the... uh, happy ending? I suppose. you did say HCs in the original request, so that's what I did. Sorry it took so long, alone time in a house with 3 people + myself is hard. Especially when 2 of them are disabled (3 disabled people in one house 😖)

Warnings: violence, arguments, regret, talk of unsafe situations

Word Count: 850 

A relationship with Law is going to be difficult.

It can still be healthy if you work at it, but the man doesn’t strike me as the type to be terribly open about his feelings or past.

So it’s going to take some time for him to open up to you.

He also strikes me as the type to waaaay overwork himself. (I don’t remember them outright stating that he overworks himself, but I can totally see him being a workaholic).

The beginning of your relationship was… bumpy.

Frequent arguments about him overworking.

Frequent arguments about how he never talked to you about anything.

You got through to him eventually, but it took quite a bit of time.

We’ve seen Law fight, we know he’s not exactly a pacifist.

That being said, he’s not particularly violent either.

He’s also usually pretty calm and level headed (Doflamingo excluded)

So for him to hit you, holy shit!

It’s not that either of you was being particularly unreasonable, just that things got a little too heated.

Instant regret!

But it’s Law so he doesn’t apologize easily.

You open up to friends (who aren’t the Heart Pirate Crew) who are very displeased with Law.

They (probably) weren’t exactly happy that he was a pirate in the first place.

But now he’s hit you?

Nope, they want you away from him!

So you’re torn between your love for Law and your need to make others happy.

You do eventually talk to the Heart Pirate crew. (Of course you do, you live on the ship with them)

Many of them are kind of on the fence about the whole thing. 

After all, it’s their captain, they love him, they trust him, he means a lot to them. But he did hit you.

Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin are, of course, Law’s biggest supporters. 

Totally keep telling you to talk things out again, their captain regrets it.

You two do start talking it out again but try harder to remain calm and see each other’s point of view.

It’s not easy for either of you.

After a lot of talking and a lot of effort, you both get your points across, sort of. 

He understands you’re just worried about him and you sort of understand why he’s overworking himself.

I mean, he’s a captain and a doctor, it’s practically inevitable that he’s going to overwork himself… plus it’s Law, his definition of relaxation is probably organizing his coin collection (for the hundredth time).

You do give him a second chance, it’s just a part of who you are to do so. 

He, oddly enough, tells you to stop being such a people pleaser after you tell him about what your friends and family said.

“Don’t break up with me because that’s what they want. Break up with me because you’re unhappy with me.”

He realizes this means that you could very well leave him one day because you weren’t trying to make someone else happy by staying with him, but Law is a good guy.

He might be a pain in the neck, but he really does want you to be happy.

Even if it’s not with him.

Because if you’re not happy with him, he screwed up and he needs to take responsibility for that. 

Whether it’s changing to be a better man or living with the fact that you left him. 

I think he’d try and change for you, but personal opinions.

I mean, you managed to get Law to fall in love with you, the man will probably go to the ends of the earth for you.

Law totally makes sure to keep himself in check from then on.

He will not hit you again.

If, by chance, he does hit you again, he will literally send you back home himself.

Like, you gave him a second chance and he betrayed that.

Clearly you aren’t safe with him and he doesn’t deserve a third. 

Tries 10x harder to keep himself in check, like, he really doesn’t want a repeat of what happened. He doesn’t even want anything close to what happened.

Despite being standoffish and quiet, I really do think that if he’s in a healthy, loving relationship, he’s going to do anything for you….

Well, almost anything. He’s still Law, there are some things that just aren’t going to happen. 

In private, he frequently asks if he’s scared you recently or if you feel unsafe with him or anything. 

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to him about it, he’ll have one of the crew talk to you about it.

Will absolutely change or send you home if you don’t feel comfortable. 

If it’s just a matter of being uncomfortable, he’ll try and change things to make you more comfortable.

But if you’re afraid or anything, he’ll send you home until either A) he can do better, B) you’re no longer afraid of him, or C) you leave him.

I really do see him as a good guy, just because he’s not public about it, I think he’s a very good person.

[unnecessary-database]

You should really put not a safe space for minorities or those affected by antisemitism in your bio if you’re going to reblog Nazi propaganda

Uh, if you’re referring to my not-at-all-recent reblogs (three total!) talking about specific Israeli war policies & how the IDF has been conducting their side of the war, I’d refer you back to the overwhelming multitude of real Jewish people all over the world who are protesting how the Israeli government is behaving cause man oh man if you’d met some of the ex-IDF soldiers who’d served their mandatory time and feel scared or invigorated by those policies or some of the kids on the Gaza Strip who are doing their damndest to achieve a high school diploma while bombs go off holy shit you might wanna talk about some of those things too.

In case anyone forgot cause it’s not like I sit around talking about my personal life on this blog I don’t touch with barely any followers, I did in fact spend a little time in the actual states of Palestine & Israel. I got to know real people there, attended lectures & seminars & meetings by political & religious groups all across the board in both countries. Stayed in homes. Shared meals. Yeah. I’ll post what I fucking want and do my best to help actual refugees where I can while I’m at it because I am one of the lucky people not getting my home blasted to shreds because governments full of hatred can’t stop their vicious cycles.

But hey, thanks for commenting on something from like forever ago. Really did your part coming in as an anon commenting to a largely fandom blog there.

[https-cyber-slxt]

Holy shit! Your blog is an oasis in a desert istg. Finally some proper unadulterated femdom content on this hellsite. Thank you so much!

If your requests are still open, can I please get some sub!Dante content? General headcanons or just a little pegging for my bbg :) Up to you. And thanks again <3

P. S.: A word of advice: try to avoid more explicit tags, like sub!character or dom!reader, and use something more general like character x reader. I've noticed that Tumblr algorithm doesn't take into account actual contents of the post and shadow bans based on tags. I've seen some really outrageous stuff fly under the radar, because it only had fandom tags and nothing specific. Hope this'll help at least a little bit. You don't deserve to deal with this bs. Wish you the best!

hiiiii anon, I really appreciate these kind words, here just for you.

Oh and I'll absolutely give you your “daily” dose of pegging Dante :P

Devils Do Cry!

Sub!Dante x FemDom!Reader

A/N: I am so unmotivated (also it's 10 pm and I'm tired as shit, so if this is bad, I'm sorry)

“So... Who's Elizabeth?” you question out of nowhere as you pull your sword out of the Hell Caina's chest, causing it to wither away. Dante becomes stunned at the question, raising a brow at you. “Just another Devil Hunter, why?”

He swallows thickly at your serious expression. You prop your glasses up and wipe the blood off of your weapon. “A little birdie told me that you went on a *date* with her last night” Dante whimpers and furrows his brows before propping himself up properly. “Oh yeah? Well maybe that little birdie was trying to make you jealous” your face becomes even more serious. “Why would Nero wish to make me jealous?”

Dante stops in his tracks and nearly bursts into a sprint, damn you little nephew! “I uh- uhm-” his sentence cuts off as you grab his collar and shove him against a wall. “Don't lie to me Dante! What were you doing last night!?” He sobs as he licks his dry lips. “I'm sorry (Name), but I promise I didn't do anything, I just- walked her back home, that's all, and Nero must've thought something else“

You drop Dante and turn away, walking back to his office space with him not far behind you.

☆~ 5:30 PM ~☆

You lie on your stomach as you flip through the pages of the magazine, munching on the cheese pizza while doing so. Your fingers rest at the bottom of the page while your eyes fixate on the pictures, making you unaware of your surroundings. Your reading becomes interrupted as the doors slam shut, making you look up at Dante. “Jeez those two are a pain in the ass” he sighs while stretching.

“If they're so annoying, why are you friends with them?” you ask while flipping to the next page, placing your hand under your chin. “Well you know, it's nice to have some company in this shithole” He answers while walking up the stairs. You scoff and lift yourself off the couch. “Hey! Which drawer do the magazines go into?” you shout while fiddling with the book in your hands. “My desk drawer!” oh wow real helpful.

You roll your eyes and walk behind the desk, opening up the top drawer, nope, the middle one, nu-uh, the bottom one perhaps? Your hand grabs the handle and just as you're done opening it halfway, you slam it closed and grip the magazine in your hands even tighter.

A few moments later Dante rushes down the stairs, oblivious to your shocked expression. “Hey babe so, Morrison will be here in a few and- are you okay-” his sentence cut off as he stares at your grip on the bottom drawer handle.

You both stand there in complete silence, until you stand up and purse your lips, dropping the magazine on to his desk. “So how long have you had those?” you ask while side eyeing him. Dante stands there in complete shock. He lifts his hands up and defence, trying to think of an excuse. “How. Long. Have. You. Had. Those?” Now your entire body was facing him. “A-awhile it's that, I've been hesitant on asking you..”

NSFW Below The Cut X3

A bright blush covers his face as he answers your question. “Bend over the desk” you command while opening the drawer with your heels. “But Morrison-!” his sentence interrupted as he's pushed against the desk. “I don't care about Morrison, if walks in here that'll be his own problem. Now, bend over the desk, and take off your pants while you're at it”

A sob leaves Dante as he follows your command, taking off his pants and boxers while bending himself over his work desk, spreading his legs open and resting his chin on his forearms.

Meanwhile with you, you pull the strap-on out of the drawer, and you're not gonna lie when you say it's packing a decent size, 8-9 inches at least and relatively girthy as well. You notice the ring gag in the drawer and pull it out, it'll be of good use. You set the strap aside and lift the gag right in front of Dante's face. He gasps and looks back at you, you smile and giggle. “You know what to do” were the only words you said before he sighed. Shoving the gag into his mouth, you grab the straps and adjust it to your liking.

You reach back down and grab the lube out of the drawer. You grab Dante's hand and squeeze the lube on to his fingers. He looks back at you with confusion and you just smile at him. “I can't just shove this entire thing into you without any preparation, go on, open yourself for me” you continue smiling as he lets out a soft whimper.

Using his free hand, Dante spreads his ass open, allowing his fingers to slip in easier. He slowly inserts his middle finger in, soft gasps escaping him as he inserts another finger. He goes knuckles deep, making him arch his back, his free hand quivering and struggling to hold himself open.

His upper body basically falls limp as he starts to finger himself, getting lost in pleasure and completely forgetting about your presence. You grin and grab his wrist, giving him a fright in the process. You pull his fingers out and grab the strap-on from his side.

You tie the harness around your hips and grab the lube, carelessly squeezing some on to the strap, causing a little bit to fall on the floor beneath you. You stroke up and down, smearing the lube all over.

You slowly insert your strap into him, heavy moans escaping him as he grips the front of the desk. “Ah! nghhhh~!” drool slips down his chin as his eyes begin rolling back. You insert the entirety of the strap in him, the harness touching the skin of his ass.

You readjust yourself and lie on top of Dante's back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. You short thrusts cause sobs to escape Dante as tears begin to fall from his eyes, leaking onto the desk below him. Your nimble fingers remove themselves from his neck and creep down towards his dick. Your free hand wraps around his leaking cock, pumping up and down gently.

Your other arm wraps around Dante into a chokehold, making his hands move from the desk to the arm around his neck. Letting go of his dick, you untie the gag move your hand back to its original position, pumping faster than before. “Shit! You're killing me! Just fuck me already! I need it, please!” Dante's tears roll down on to your arm along with his drool.

You unwrap your arm around his throat, causing him to drop on to the desk. You grab his arms and lock them behind his back, speeding up your pace in the progress. Dante cries and moans, not caring of someone or something hears him. “God fuuuck~! Yesyes! Oh you make me feel so- so good! Ah! Ah~! Nggggh!”

Your hand lets go of his arms, but like the loyal slut he his, he keeps them there as you grab his hair, lifting his head up and biting his neck. “Yes!! Oh fuck yes! Faster, faster! Fuckmefuckme!” Dante moves his hands to his dick as both your hands grip his hair and jacket collar. “I'm g-gonna cum! Pleaseplease! Let me cum! AH!” his begs and pleas turn into a nonsense of sobs as you rake your fingers through his messy and sweaty hair. “Cum for me” you whisper in his ear.

Dante sobs and cries as he releases all over the floor, some even getting on his desk. Quite sobs escape him as his left over tears form a small puddle beneath him.

Just as you lift yourself up, Morrison busts through the door, an unpleasant look on his face. “Considering that you two have stopped fucking like two rabbits in heat, just take this before my day is even more ruined” Morrison hands you a letter, not saying another word and slamming the building doors closed, his car revving up and leaving the area just as quickly.

You set the letter aside and stare at the fucked out Dante beneath you. “What to do with you...”