#// bonus level for the task? sure. lol

[ofmoonlitmagic]

That's the only thing I ever got right: Briggs & Riley

- “you treat all your ladies like this?” - "are you saying you’re one of my ladies now?" @vilisisms

(template)

[kivino]

OUT OF THE SHADOWS I || SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY X SHADOW!GN!READER

Word counter – ~6.9k words

Tags/Warnings – Gn!Reader, Shadow!Reader (it’s not for long lol, don’t get your hopes up), murder of civilians/corpses/blood mentioned, physical fights, reader likes to throw fists, Reader’s callsign is Bug to pay tribute to my original idea.

Summary – After the betrayal of Task Force 141 and the slaughter of civilians in Las Almas you decide to leave Shadow Company on the spot, which works out sideways, leaving you with simmering hate towards the man whom you used to look up to and new interesting figures in your life. 

also available on my ao3!

a/n after the fic because they’re too long. but just know that this is the first chapter of the series, feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part. enjoy!

Everything was calm. The sound of rain covering up the murmur of trucks helped you wind down after the adrenaline rush, and a sense of accomplishment for a job well done swelled in your chest. You already anticipated a long sleep and maybe a night out with your friends when you’re back home from the job. Maybe you’d even get a bonus from Graves and buy something nice for yourself. 

In all honesty, you didn’t even mind being crammed into the backseat along with those 141 guys. Working with them was a pleasure and they seemed like an interesting sort of crowd. Especially that man with the skull mask. Ghost, was it? He certainly attracted your attention the most, with his huge size, booming voice, and undeniable skill in what he did. You were willing to admit that the way he took out the enemies with ease and swiftness was mesmerizing.  And…your train of thought that consisted of pure fascination was interrupted by the abrupt stop of the convoy in front of the base gate. 

Everything was calm until you were surrounded by shouting and then eventual gunshots, along with muffled screams of your brothers in arms. You didn’t understand how it all escalated so fast. One moment you were sure about Shadow Company and Task Force 141 being on the same side, but now you didn’t know what to think of it all. And from Graves' words, it was apparent that Shepherd was behind this too. So naturally you, and many other shadows, the lower ranks, had no fucking clue what all of this was about. One would care to tell a mindless weapon where to shoot, but not why. Blood rushed through your veins and pulsed in your ears, turning the pleasant buzz in your body into strained sharpness. You hurriedly pulled up the rear sight to your eye level. Two bodies dropped to the wet asphalt with soft thuds right in front of you. You felt your heart sink right down to your feet. Instead of firing your shots, you hesitated, backing out to hide behind the bumper of the truck, while hearing agitated, aggressive shouts. You weren’t able to tell who was shouting. So, you leaned out and felt yourself freeze in place. 

And there he is. Ghost, eyes locked right on you. He sure has a…strong presence. And instead of shooting you he just…looks. You don’t like the stupid flowery language, but in this split second, it really feels like he is staring right into your soul. Or like someone is sticking metal rods right through your chest, with how hard breathing becomes in an instant. 

You knew that if you were to shoot him right now, you’d never forgive yourself, all because you were kept in the dark about the whole thing Graves had planned. And you were not willing to get blood on your hands because of some “mistake”. If you pull the trigger, there will be one less person who’s able to make a change. One less person who’ll be willing to get their hands dirty and save people. 

So, you lower the muzzle of your rifle and nod to the side, urging him to start his getaway, before other Shadows and Graves decide to check the perimeter. You see his dark eyes blink, or at least you think you do before he disappears into the darkness. Like he was never there in the first place.

In the end, you didn’t get even a single scratch. Three other Shadows were K.I.A.

Your head buzzed with so many different questions you wanted to ask Graves, and more importantly, the guilt you felt from whatever happened in front of the threshold. You had no idea what happened with that Los Vaqueros base or what was up with your CO, while you were escorting him and those 141 guys along with several other Shadows for this mission. Why was he taking it? What was he even thinking? You wanted to pull out your hair and claw out your eyes just thinking about all of it. Which, you weren’t paid to do, but that didn’t mean you weren’t concerned with the moral side of things. Unlike the majority of the Shadows, as you came to find out.

Confusion bubbled up inside of your mind, eyes burned by the white synthetic light of the gate when you looked up at it just to feel something aside from sheer distress and bewilderment. You didn’t want to believe that your Commander was the type of person to sell himself out, and you didn’t expect him to be, from all the time spent working with him. The man was nothing short of likable and friendly, with his beaming smile, confident attitude, and outgoing way of communicating… a natural-born leader, that was the first thing that came to mind when you thought about your boss. And with how Graves treated you and all other Shadows like you were more than just his employees, the realization was even more painful. Of course, you didn’t want to think about how he could so easily turn his back on people who trusted him.

It raised many questions in your mind about the price of his word, as well as made your stomach churn with acidic, flesh-eating poison full of doubt and suspicion. If it was so easy for your CO to cut out the men someone he told you all to think of as your brothers, then how long will it be before he sells you and other shadows out for…whatever was offered to him? 

“Find ‘em!” Graves barks and your chest swells with bitter disappointment. You thought you knew him before (as much as a subordinate can know their superior), but how can you even begin to understand him now?

You hear Shadows mutter a quiet “Yup-yup”, more to themselves than to your CO, and you could almost feel the doubt settle over them in a thick, transparent blanket. From the conversations you can pick up on while Graves is out of earshot, you guess that some of them don’t think betraying the 141 guys and trying to hunt the two of them down is the right thing to do. But it didn’t seem like they were going to do anything about it though. You, however, want to help. You know that it’s not right, so…screw it. You can always find another job, and if it comes down to it, 141 seem like an okay sort of people, the type that would have your back if you had theirs. At least, you have hope for it.

So maybe you could hold out until they come back for Los Vaqueros. And you were certain they’d do that, no way they’d abandon all these men. You haven’t seen how the things were on said base that was taken from them, but you were certain you could do more on the inside than if you were to leave right now. Maybe you could break Colonel out of there, or help the Task Force sneak in, you were sure they could use any help from you. 

That was the plan before you saw what Shadow Company did to Las Almas.

The picture that Shadows were painting with innocent blood on the rainy landscape was horrifying, to say the least. The metallic smell hit your nose the moment you jumped out of the truck right onto the flooded pavement. That was the exact moment when you realized you couldn’t stay with Shadows any longer. You were supposed to help these people. It was your job. Instead, you felt filthier than the dirt on your boots. Traitor. Backstabber. You choked on your breath behind the mask each time you noticed the bodies of the victims in every dark corner of the city, nausea coming up your throat when you could see rivers of crimson streaming down the road and right into the sewers. Your Shadow Company patch felt like the mark of a killer, etched into your skin permanently, instead of just being part of your uniform.

Limp bodies that didn’t even have the time to grow cold yet, scattered around warm homes. Some of the killed were probably already in their beds sleeping, coming back from work, watching TV, or cooking dinner when they got dragged out under the rain and massacred…Everything felt like a blur, your thoughts were a jumbled mess of whys, while you were led further into the town, to continue the revolting, disgusting crimes of your brothers-in-arms. You couldn’t stand to spend another minute in here. You need to get out before you do something you’ll never be able to forgive yourself for. You were many things, but you were not willing to go that far. Not here, not anywhere. 

“Hey. Where’s Graves?” You tap another Shadow, your “close colleague” with a callsign Kruk, on the shoulder. He turns to you, while you see several other soldiers passing by, yellow streetlights barely illuminating their swiftly moving figures. You knew why it was hard for you to even look in their direction. Kruk points towards the building to the left of you two and croaks something about “briefing the rookies”. You nod and thank him, stumbling in the general direction he pointed you to. 

“Commander, with all due respect, I think it’s time for you to discharge me.” You only came to your senses when you stood in front of your CO in the cramped space of someone’s living room. Wallpaper, creamy in color, dulled lights, tons of decorative cushions on the couch… Your voice is quiet, but firm, not leaving any space for compromise when you speak up to the blond man, and your politeness is as fake as this copy of “Guernica” you could see hanging on the wall. Blood pulses in your ears. You want to leave, you want out. Out of here.

“Bug, now’s not the time for jokes, I need you on the field now. We’ve got our orders.” Graves barely raises his eyes from tapping something on the tablet, that usual scowl that you got used to present on his face. His actions are as ugly as he is. Him not taking you seriously sure does a number on your confidence. But that only reassures you in your decision. You need out. 

“Do I look like I’m joking? I’m leaving, because I don’t think what we’re doing is right.” You try to stay calm, you really do. But how can you, when out of something so vile he makes a joke? Makes all these people a sick joke.

A crease lies between your brows, and shadows falling over your eyes make your face look similar to a carved statue. Before talking to Graves, you decided to take off the eyewear that obscures your face and pull down the thin mask, the signatures for Shadows who are lower in the chain of command. You’re the faceless sort, after all.  “And I don’t think you know your place.” You’re instantly taken aback by his sudden outburst, but you don’t let it show. “I point and you shoot. I sign your paychecks, Bug, and you take them.” You feel something inside of you flinch at the way he mutters your callsign. “I’m in charge. You don’t have a say in what we do.” With each statement, his gloved finger points from him to you, making the rage and frustration boil inside of your chest. You trusted Graves and he led all of your colleagues, along with you to dragging out unarmed, innocent people in the dead of night out of their houses on their streets and executing them. Hell of a leader he is. 

“Well, I’m stepping down. If that’s what we do, I don’t want to take part in it.” You wanted to tell him a lot more, give Graves a piece of your mind on war crimes and killing people in their own homes. On how drowning Las Almas in blood won’t fix whatever the fuck he was trying to fix right now. Instead, you kept it to yourself, tightening your fists just so you didn’t spit in his face or punch him.

“You’re putting a target on your back. Do you not understand how what you’re saying makes you look?” Graves leans in closer to you, the low volume of his voice making it even more threatening, similar to the hissing of a snake. Give him a minute and he will start spewing real venom right in your face. 

“You know that whatever you’re thinking is not true.” To be completely honest, you didn’t care what he thought right now. Graves’ mind and morals were clearly in the wrong place if he considered all this bloodshed justified. 

“Do I really? A moment ago I was sure that you were my subordinate, now I’m not even sure what to make of you.” You’re barely able to resist rolling your eyes at this. Your heart is picking up the pace with each minute. Getting more and more desperate to leave your body altogether, just so you don’t have to listen to his bullshit any longer. You wish it was that easy.

“I’m not taking orders from you. Not anymore.” Saying this took a lot more out of you than you expected, you felt your chest tremble when you met your CO’s eyes.

“Well, would you just look at that, you happen to be a fan of our local drug lord too?” If eyes could kill, Graves would’ve dropped dead right this moment. He smiles, his sharp canines peeking from under his top lip. He knows he’s making your skin crawl and your stomach flip from this interaction, which, if you’re lucky, would be the last for the two of you. “Helping the cartel and corrupt police won’t look too good on your resume”

“I see you’re just making it up as you go.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you held in your chest. Shaky. Uneven. Infuriated. Your eyes are drilling Graves’, a deep frown between them as proof of how much you despise him now, for the baseless assumption too. After a moment of silence, you add. “You know what my stance on this is. Whether I get your approval or not, I’m leaving.” Graves finally withdraws from your personal space, sliding the palm over his face with a heavy sigh, as his lips tighten into a thin line. You knew that this combination meant he was trying to calm down. After a moment of silence, he speaks up again. 

“Look, Bug, you’re a smart kid and frankly, I like you.” he makes a short pause, sighing. “So, I’ll give you a fighting chance. Five minutes – if you’re not out of the city, then you’re a target.” He wasn’t that fucking courteous with the civilians that lay dead a few meters away. Shot on sight. Without any questions. You grit your teeth.

What are you supposed to do with that? Those five minutes didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, most likely, you’ll be rotting in the ditch somewhere shortly after your time runs out - too little to get out of the city or find the Task Force you so desperately wanted to help. Graves won’t leave any witnesses. And you are one. He knows it’s not going to be easy for you to just turn on the Shadows like that too, even though you despised what they were doing while following his orders. They still were your family. Dysfunctional and disproportionately big, but family, nonetheless. Even if they deserved it for their lack of action to prevent what was happening now, you don’t turn on your family like that. What he’s doing is forcing your hand.

Regardless, you have no choice but to take Graves up on his last “generous” offer.

“What are you waiting for, hm? Get out of here while you can.” You didn’t need to be told that twice. So, still balancing your rifle on your arm, your free hand reaches for that patch on your shoulder. Tearing it off in a quick motion makes the sound of Velcro strips snapping open almost echo from how quiet it is. It felt like a whole mountain dropped off of your shoulders when you threw the patch on the ground and stormed out of the building right into the pouring rain.

You felt goosebumps and tremors creeping up your spine as you ran through the dark streets, getting more and more soaked with each second. You didn’t feel much better though. The resentment for Graves grew each second, with all the steps that sent ripples on the surface of the deep puddles, and every raindrop that fell from the copper-colored clouds. But now wasn’t the time to wallow in your misery. Although you wanted to. It did feel like the loss of a person you used to know, of someone you looked up to. The only thing is, he was still living and breathing, and the only thing that died was that idealized image of him in your head. 

There was a cold hollowness somewhere in your chest. Gaping with the darkness that, and you were sure of it, will eat you alive soon enough. Even though you backed out of the Shadow company, it won’t bring back all the people who are not here anymore. You won’t fix it, no matter how hard you try. That bitter guilt snaked its way into the back of your mind and it was there to help stay. 

You managed to pull yourself out of this to make things right. But why do you feel so helpless still?

Your footsteps get faster and faster, as you maneuver through the narrow alleyways, staying out of the range your former colleagues were in. It was easy to hear them, gunshots and voices echoed throughout the city in a weird cacophony that your ears got used to after a long time working for the Shadow Company. They were not afraid, probably feeling like masters here. Somebody has to give them a scare, you thought. So they know better in the future. But it wasn’t your job at the moment. Right now, you needed to get out and do it as soon as possible.

Stopping and coming up with any sort of plan that would help you was not an option - hang in somewhere for too long and you’ll be found. And you were sure you wouldn’t be shown any mercy. 

So instead of staying on the street, where you can be easily spotted with the help of the dim light of a flashlight, you decide to alternate between the corridors of empty homes, with doors wide open for anyone seeking shelter, and the maze of alleyways crawling with Shadows. It felt wrong, invading someone’s homes like this, but you knew if they were unlocked and lights beamed around them, giving out a warm glow the inhabitants were most likely not coming back.

You felt that tingle on the nape of your neck, ready to hide or flee in case you heard any sudden movement from any direction. It’s dead quiet, except for occasional radio talk from the shadows, which you tried to listen in on when you could. It didn’t give you much on where 141 could be. You would start losing hope if you had any left after Graves. But you continue your search nonetheless, reflexes instead of thinking, pure determination instead of hope, and fire in your veins, instead of blood.

That is until you quietly step inside another warm hallway, and you’re met with a wide-eyed stare from another Shadow that makes you freeze like a deer in the headlights. Something inside of you starts to churn with terror from the looming understanding – only one of you will walk out of here alive. Your eyes trail down to the raven patch on his tac vest. It’s Kruk. You want to ask what he is doing here, but you already feel his gaze studying you too. And as soon as he sees that the Shadow Company patch is missing from your uniform, the muzzle of his rifle points right at you. Fucking shit.

“Drop your gun, Kruk!” You warn the man, pointing the weapon in his direction too. He only shakes his head, refusing to stand down. With each second air is laced with tension more and more, you were sure that soon enough it’ll be so thick even a knife wouldn’t cut through it.

“You drop yours first.” His voice is shaky and unsure like he can’t believe what he’s doing right now either. “Commander gave us an order. You’re an enemy now too, Bug. Better get used to it.” Kruk started slowly approaching you, while pulling something out of the bag, strapped on his hip.

“Oh, fuck that!” You swing towards Kruk, trying to approach him in your momentary rage, but you’re immediately met with the warning “Don’t” from Kruk, who doesn’t stand down. “You know what they’re doing here. It doesn’t matter to you?” The man is silent. You don’t see his face behind his mask, so you’re left with even more questions instead of answers. Regardless of what he was thinking right now, you didn’t want to hurt him. So, you bend down and put your rifle on the ground with a quiet clack. If he needs a gesture of goodwill, he can have it. “Your turn.” Kruk only shakes his head.

“Turn around.” So, it was a mistake to trust him. Naturally. Your gullibility will be your downfall. You can almost feel the bitter taste spread inside of your mouth when you look at Kruk. Fucking asshole. But you comply, although reluctantly. He grabs you roughly by the wrists with one hand and by the neck with another, leading you toward what looks like a kitchen in the dim lights falling through the doorway. You get lowered on your knees and then pressed into the dirty floor. And it hits right then and there. He’s going to execute you. Oh, shit, shit, shit.

“You know that I don’t want to do this.” He says quietly so that any shadows passing by don’t hear him. You feel your heartbeat shake your whole body and nausea so intense like you are on the verge of throwing up all of your internal organs, but giving up is just not an option right now. So, you try to prevent him from tying your hands together with all the strength you have.

“Then don’t fucking do it!” He does not answer this as you continue squirming in his hold, trying to make it as hard as possible for him to restrain you. He only grunts but keeps a firm grip. Your head was a mess, you thought Shadows were a family. But all it took was one order from Graves, now they’re scouring the town like damn bloodhounds for you too.

“Get…off of me!” You grit through your teeth. You feel a zip tie slide over your hands and turn your head. The rifle he previously held in his hands was gone, probably so he could tie you up properly, so you take your chance and deliver a hard kick to Kruk’s stomach. He chokes out a pained gasp and finally lets go of your hands. You scurry to get up from the floor with wide smears of rainwater and dirt decorating it, but you get grabbed by the leg, which causes you to stumble and fall once again. You turn your head and kick Kruk with all your might, while attempting to take off the zip tie off your wrists, which, thankfully, he didn’t have the time to close.

You manage to shake the man off of you, as you scramble to your feet, knocking over a corner table with some decorations on it. Yet when you see Kruk fumbling with his hip holster you immediately tackle him to the ground, which causes him to drop the handgun. The whole fight is just a mess, nothing but blinding rage is pulsing in your temples, melting your bones and muscles into something no better than an animal. You get up again, while Kruk is on the floor, searching for the handgun in the darkness. You feel the heavy metal press against your boot and you kick it behind you. You hear it slide across the floor and here it is. Kruk’s eyes, are directed right at you. His hands claw at your leg, trying to drag you down to the floor. And then you black out completely. Kicking, punching, pained wheezes and screams are all you hear, a stuffy abyss with little to no specks of light surrounding you.

You come back to your senses when you don’t feel the familiar weight of your handgun pressing against your hip and then you see it again. Kruk managed to grab it while you were in your anger-induced frenzy. Everything around you slows down. His shaky fingers pull on the safety, but you reach out and grab his hands, pulling them up, not letting him aim at you. Kruk grunts and you see his eyes focused on you in fear, and desperation, as he tries to overpower you in the struggle. You see his weakened state, but the self-preservation is stronger than any compassion towards him at the moment. Kruk will take your life if you don’t take his. That’s just the gist of it. You can’t let him walk away.

Your hands tremble when he manages to overpower you momentarily, but it’s all in vain when you press the handgun harder and harder into his frame, feeling his hands start to yield more and more with each second, strength leaving him. The fear in his eyes is directed at you and only you, but you try not to look. The muzzle of your gun is pressed snugly under his chin. Your gaze trails to his eyes once again. They burn you with terror. Your fingers hook around the trigger guard. You hear a faint whisper.

“Please…”

Gunshot rings in your ears for another second, despite the earmuffs in your helmet.

“Fuck! Fuck…I’m so sorry…I’m sorry.” It all came crashing down on you in one moment. You wouldn’t feel guilty if it was the enemy, you wouldn’t care. He was an enemy now, so why do you feel so guilty, why is it starting to corrode and eat you alive even more? Your palms cover the profusely bleeding gunshot wound, going through his neck and cranium, hot blood pouring out with impossible speed, staining your hands, gear, and skin. Staining your whole being. How could you do something like this? Shadows are family. Killing an unarmed man who’s pleading for his life?

You’re no better than Graves.

The gunshot alerts the Shadows and they start scurrying around on the street. You have no time to mourn Kruk or search for your rifle in the dark, so you yank your handgun out of his hands which only started succumbing to rigor mortis, and sprint out the backdoor, desperately attempting to get away. You can feel your heartbeat booming in your ears, wet hair sticking to the nape of your neck, as you hear distant commotion and a chase stirring behind you, as you dart inside another building and run through the hallways, searching for a way out.

Back on the street, rain droplets are so cold that it feels like they’re splitting your skin open, you can barely feel the pain in your ankle from adrenaline pumping through your blood flow. You start slipping on the slick pavement, but you still refuse to stop, diving inside another doorway. Your head hurts, your lungs feel like they are about to explode, and you think you stepped into a puddle of someone’s blood. No time to ram through the locked door, so you jumped out of the second-story window and landed on your foot, twisting it in the process and swallowing the sob that welled up in your throat. You needed to move.

That bought you some time to get up and dip into the dark alleyway before you heard the loud footsteps approaching the window that you used to escape. You let out a heavy exhale, propping your back against the cold stone. You’re not completely safe, but…that’s better than nothing. The commotion of shadows quiets down and you hear it become more and more distant with each second. 

After a moment of silence, you continue moving, albeit slowly, trying to get used to the hot pulsing in your leg, that shot up right through your nerves with each step you tried to take. You wince and whine in pain, dragging your leg behind, grabbing at the moist stone walls, clinging to them for any sort of support. However, it’s not much of a help. 

Your escape is cut short when your legs finally give out, causing you to stumble and fall while crossing the church garden. Although it probably looked magical in the daylight, right now it was far from it, the smell of metal and smoke still lacing the darkness. You already feel your ankle swelling and some bruises forming under all your gear. You see the lights on the exterior of the church blend into the ribbon of lights and shadows and the thought crosses your mind. You can hide there.

You almost fly up the stairs despite the hurting leg, fumbling with the door for a second, before it creaks open. You shuffle inside with light steps and close the door behind you as quietly as you can. Your knees tremble as you slide down the cold wall and crawl further inside the building, barely feeling any strength left in you. God, you are so drained. Strained gasps are ripped out of your throat every second. You want nothing more than to lie down right there in this church and just let the darkness overtake you in a peaceful slumber. That would be so easy.

Your calm moment is interrupted by someone yanking you up on your feet, to which you let out a surprised yelp. You can’t see the person, but you can feel their hands tugging on your gear roughly and dragging you somewhere. It takes you a second to weigh your pretty limited options given the fact it’s so dark that you are barely able to make out your surroundings. So, you decide to take this fight head on and your heavy boot comes down right on their foot, which prompts the person to grunt, revealing a pretty low male voice, and let go of you.

You tear out from his grasp and almost tumble down to the church floor, bunching up dust with your loud, uneven footsteps. Your back is hunched as you look up at the dark figure from under your eyebrows, ready to deflect any blows if he decides to attack first. You stay silent, feeling like a cornered animal in his presence, small, feeble. Weak. Of course, you were at a disadvantage here, taking a beating, running from Shadows, twisting your ankle, and losing your rifle certainly didn’t help your chances to win, but you were ready to claw your way out of here with your bare hands, breaking your nails and skinning your hands if you had to.

But any punches or kicks you try to land the man easily deflects or blocks, not trying to attack or overpower you however, opting to just take up the defensive position in the fight. Which is, admittedly, a lot easier than taking the offensive one. Maybe he was aiming to exhaust you and then, when you are at your lowest point, he would attack. That seemed like a solid tactic, but you don’t want to let that happen. However, before you can think of anything you end up rolling with the man on the floor. You can hear him huff in frustration and exertion, the wood pressing harshly against your ribs and all the bruises on your lower body pulsing with pain.

After some struggle, however, you managed to tackle the man to the ground, pressing him down to the floor with your weight. Your hands snaked their way onto his neck as you glared at him, resisting the urge to bare your teeth akin to a stray, abused, and betrayed dog, crawling with fleas and parasites. Choking him out obviously wasn’t a nice thing to do, but you were trying to send a message here, that if you continue being followed, you will use your strength. If violence was the only language Shadows understood (and that’s who you believe the man was) then you were ready to become fluent.

“I swear, I’ll fucking kill you!” You press him into the floor harder, hands squeezing the man’s throat, your vision going blurry. You feel his hands grasp at your wrists, but he does not resist. Why is he not trying to shake you off? Why is he letting you choke him like this? Why is he not fighting back? 

“Let go, Bug.” The man’s voice is strained, but familiar, he whispers through his closed jaw. You can hear the way his throat tenses up, or his Adam’s apple bobs under your thick gloves, the warmth of his skin, and the moisture that seeped into the mask. Mask. More light falls through the window thanks to the momentary flicker of the streetlight. Skull. Eight lines on his chin, two on the forehead. Dark brown eyes.

Your hands shoot up like his neck is on fire. Guilt settles in your gut and your throat, pulling you in like you’re some puppet with no free will. You try to get up from the man’s midsection but tumble down on your side from trying to do it too quickly. It’s Ghost. How the hell did you not recognize Ghost?

“I’m sorry. I’m not…myself right now.” You were now sitting on the floor, palms resting on your face, wet from the rain, skin burning up, either trying to regulate the temperature or from all the exertion. Either way, it didn’t matter right now.

“Yeah, you made it pretty obvious.” Ghost coughs, trying to shake off your attempt to cut off his air circulation just seconds ago, as he gets up from his lying position. “At least now I know you’ve got a good grip.” He lets out a deep chuckle which only earns him an eyebrow raise from you. He was joking at a time like this? Must’ve hit his head pretty hard too.

“I could’ve choked you. Why did you not fight back more?” You were royally confused about that. He could’ve stopped the fight before it even began and avoided some bruises along with the sore neck if he just told you who he was or fought back. But he didn’t.

Ghost wants to say something, but stops himself right after opening his mouth. You see it in the way he looks at you. The pause stretches for an endless amount of time and you feel your skin crawling with anxiety while his eyes study your face.

“I was going easy on ya.” Ghost says in a rather blunt manner, which didn’t answer that many of your questions. Well, if he was going easy, he should’ve been at least going at you, which wasn’t true – you saw him only defending himself and blocking some of your blows. Did he?.. Was he trying not to hurt you? Okay, the more you thought about it, the wilder it sounded. Maybe you should just drop it. “I don’t suppose you came here to wash your sins away.” You want to scoff from the bad taste. “Lil’ birdie told me you ditched the Shadows. Any particular reason why?” The man inquires, turning to you. Sitting like this on the floor with him felt unusual, like some sort of weird church sleepover. Give Ghost a minute and he’ll bring you some ice cream so you two can watch some wacky TV shows together.

“Did your little birdie also tell you that Graves is hunting me down too?” You ask while pulling your drenched mask over your face. It brought some comfort and familiarity that were gone the moment you spoke to your CO in that living room. And, well, it would be awkward if Ghost was the only one in the mask.

“I guessed by the gunshots, some racket, and a horde of Shadows taking a night run through the neighborhood close by.” The man chuckles and you feel your face burn up in embarrassment under your mask. You try not to let it show, however. You knew that it wasn’t a very sleek move that you pulled with Kruk, but you were desperate and you didn’t need motherfucking Ghost telling you it was stupid. 

“You’re just hilarious. Is that how you became a lieutenant, by cracking jokes left and right?” You roll your eyes and hope he won’t notice it in the darkness. This banter was pointless, you knew it but…you needed it. It was not easy losing something familiar, so you desperately wanted to feel that camaraderie you experienced in the Shadows.

“You’ll find out once you’re a lieutenant yourself.” And Ghost indulges you. Which, you are thankful for. Isn’t such a scary guy after all, huh?

“Yeah, if I’m alive long enough.” You scoff at his concealed attempt to comfort and reassure you, but you can’t help that warm feeling in your chest. Weird.

“Well, you’ve already surpassed my expectations by staying alive until now.” The man stands up from the floor with a low grunt, pressing an arm around his midsection, right around where you might’ve pinned him to the floor with your body. “Let’s make sure it lasts, eh?” He extends a gloved hand toward you in an open, inviting gesture. Your eyes trail over his huge figure and land on specks of light in his eyes.

His eye black is all smudged and messy.

You have to shake off the sudden thought, observation too close and intimate for your liking, as you grab him by the forearm, trying to ignore the way your skin burns up when you feel his warmth through his gear. Ghost pulls you up to your feet, but doesn’t let go of your arm once you’re up. You don’t let go either. The silence rings in your ears. God, he’s so warm.

 “Are you like a human furnace or something?” You joke to fill the excruciating silence. Which you immediately regret. You wish it wasn’t so dark so you could see just how his face stretched the fabric of a skull mask, which you clearly heard happen by a small shuffle very close to you. Who knows, maybe he cracked a smile?

“Why? Need someone to warm you up at night?” Okay, this is terrible and stupid, and so damn corny, and why do you feel your cheeks grow hot and breath get stuck in your chest? Maybe that’s just how awful his jokes are. Ghost clears his throat and reluctantly lets go of your forearm, fingers still clinging to your sleeve as he pulls himself away too quickly for it to be something nonchalant or casual.

“So, are you answering my question, or do I have to use torture?” Fucking hell, his jokes are morbid. You almost forgot in those several hours you haven’t interacted with him. Although that would be quite hard, he leaves quite an impression, after all.

“Well, I suppose you’ve seen the…the civilians?” You can’t call them anything besides that. To call them corpses is to take away from their whole being. To call them dead would just be a lie. They were still alive in the walls of their homes, in the memories of their breathing relatives and friends, and in the pictures, their traces are everywhere. Ghost silently nods to your question, prompting you to continue. “Then here’s your reason.” You didn’t want to explain your feelings in great detail. And you didn’t feel the need to; you saw the compassion in his eyes. “Plus, the whole thing with the Los Vaqueros base.” If you saw Ghost’s face now you’d note how the expression darkened in a single moment. However, you do feel the temperature in the room fall several degrees lower, so you decide to joke again. “Pay wasn’t that good anyway, so…”

“Fair enough.” The man chuckles while rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll keep an eye on you though. Don’t think you can just waltz in here like this and be completely trusted.” Well, that’s understandable. If you were him you wouldn’t trust yourself either. Although you did hope that the mercy you’ve shown him earlier would influence his decision making. At least a little bit. “And you better toss that thing. Or else.” He points to the radio, still strapped to your tactical vest. You unclasp the device, detaching the small microphone that was holding on by a thread, and hand it to Ghost.

“You’re welcome to get rid of it for me.” And he doesn’t waste any time, dropping the radio on the ground, stomping on it so hard that the sound of it breaking echoes through the church. You assess the scraps of wires and plastic on the floor with a pitiful gaze, coming to a conclusion that you wouldn’t want to end up under Ghost’s boot. Or maybe you would, but under different circumstances. “Well, that’s…effective.”

“You good with the sniper rifle?” The man ignores your previous remark, immediately firing back with the question.  

“Decent.” You were a lot better in close quarters and preferred a more hands-on approach. But a sniper rifle wasn’t that bad. As long as he doesn’t ask you to use it without a scope.

“You’re on the lookout with me then. Don’t screw it up.”

Oh, you’re absolutely not going to.

check out my masterlist or send me a request!

a/n – first of all, thank you for reading this fic, and if you enjoyed it, consider dropping me a comment, i’ll really appreciate it! SECOND OF ALL.  I’M NOT A GRAVES HATER, DON’T COME @ ME. segment with him also was written before the campaign release, so in case there are some inaccuracies with the plot/his character – let me know, so I can fix it. all of this is a huge rework of the series that I started but never posted. Originally, it was supposed to be Graves x Reader, but for multiple reasons, moral mostly, it didn’t quite sit right with me. So instead of letting 6k words first part that I’ve written and abandoned go to waste, I decided to remake it into something else here, based on the idea of @mockerycrow (ily you have such a big brain)! so yeah, that’s it for now!

[muthaz-rapapa]

Hirogaru Sky Final Impressions (5/5)

Honestly, what were they going to do with those two weeks after 48 episodes? Have us wait until WonPre's broadcast? Yea right, lol

So the 20th installment of Precure is now officially finished and it feels both great and a little bit sad to say that since the bar has been readjusted quite high, we will probably need the 25th anniversary to get another season as awesome and well-written as HiroPre. [/harsh]

But that will be for something to worry about in the next five years.

So first, that finale!

Pretty much 5(ish) of the 6 last episodes was a whole arc dedicated to the most engaging lore Precure has ever given us to date.

Cure Noble is definitely entering the league of legacy Cures and perhaps as the one with the best story as well. How she went from princess-sovereign to becoming the very first Precure (in this universe, anyways) to helping pave a way for peace with her nemesis to laying out the foundation for the Cures who will succeed her in the future.

Yeap, Ellee-chan may have gotten a nice age-up bonus so that we can see her embrace her destiny and actually converse in something other than baby talk.

But it's more accurate to say that Ellee-chan/Cure Majesty's character arc is really Princess Elleelain/Cure Noble's instead.

Which is totally fine with me. Not only was Elleelain super interesting as a hero/protagonist in her own era but Kaiserin was...dear god.

Dear god, when have we gotten a twist that was this good and this dark by the series' standards? I felt we haven't touched this level of grim writing since Heartcatch and that was my first Precure season ever.

But seriously, it's impossible not to sympathize with Kaiserin and appreciate how much she contributed to the plot as well as this season's message that power is not what makes a hero, but the strength of one's heart that does.

Even her traitorous tutor, Skearhead, said she had what it took to become a hero (and maybe even Precure? oooh~), which just makes her fall into darkness more tragic.

But thankfully, she never lost her kindness and compassion, which was what ultimately allowed her to not only be saved but her wounds to finally heal after hundreds of years of suffering from the pain of betrayal Skearhead had inflicted on her.

And that her generals, who all turned over a new leaf, came back to the Undergu Empire to loyally serve her and make sure she isn't alone...

Good! This is so satisfying, I couldn't have asked for anything better! Kaiserin deserves her happiness after all she's been through!

But of course, that's not all because no Precure finale is complete without the last episodes dishing out the best combat scenes of the entire season and did it deliver, alright.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-HUH!

The animation was absolutely stellar and not so overdone that it'd look more gaudy than cool. coughDeliPaPrecough

Moreover, the teamwork is what really sold the animation. As it should because Precure is all about that team effort brought on by personal growth, not a one-man show.

I loved how Wing, representing wisdom, was the one everyone trusted to get that barrier back up because it is a mechanism that he researched and developed to help everyone. It proves that boys don't need to fit into a specific mold of masculinity or genius to be a hero because in the end, those things don't matter. It's being true to yourself, your beliefs and your dreams and what you choose to do with those abilities that counts.

I loved how Butterfly, who is physically the strongest in the group, always takes on the tougher tasks such as facing the army of tedious mooks to let those younger than her forge a path ahead. She never forgets her responsibility as an adult to protect the kids but she also encourages them to move forward because she fully believes in them like a good adult would.

I loved how Majesty comes to understand that though she's meant to inherit Cure Noble's will and power and position as Skyland's princess, it's not her destiny to inherit Elleelain's loneliness. And the whole reason that she started out as a baby but was able to grow and become Precure was because she was surrounded by the right people who brought out that potential in her. For Ellee-chan, being with her friends and fighting alongside them was the bigger, more important destiny than her duty was.

Finally, the star duo of the show.

Sky was given stronger MC vibes than the other cast members but you can't deny that she wouldn't have gotten this far without Prism by her side.

Sora's idea of what it means to be hero expanded a lot because she became friends with Mashiro.

She has come to treasure Mashiro so much that when she was on the brink of losing her best friend, she let Skearhead corrupt her in order to have enough power to save that best friend. She was willing to sacrifice herself for someone important to her, which in a way, can be seen as an act of heroism (but only as a last resort, plz do not attempt).

And even then, Sky kept resisting from being taken over. Prism didn't even flinch when Sky aimed a punch at her. That's how much Mashiro believes in Sora, in the hero that Sora is. That even if Sora accepted darkness into herself to do the right thing, she won't ever let that darkness consume her into doing the wrong thing.

And the fact that it was Prism who had the ability to not only purify Sky but also heal Kaiserin's centuries-old wound. She's come a long way herself from the girl who used to think she was talentless, who didn't believe she had anything special going for her.

"You are good as you are now, Mashiro-san."

What Sora said was true until the very end. Mashiro didn't ever need to change. She was already good enough and she was always going to become even better than how she started out because she was always being inspired and supported by those around her and challenging herself to do things she initially hesitated on doing.

Now she's continually drawing new stories, even winning an award for one. Even her Prism Shot evolved and multiplied as an attack and it's all because she learned to believe in herself because all her friends believed in her.

This is essentially what sets Precure apart from the others, what makes it the major name it is in modern day mahou shoujo.

I cannot begin to describe how glad I am that the staff at Toei reinforced those aspects of friendship as well as the celebration of individualism in a milestone year. But I can definitely say with confidence that we can expect to see more well into the franchise's 30th anniversary as long they don't forget these two very crucial things.

As for me, I think this will be the last time I blog Precure on a "regular" basis.

I'll still continue to watch cuz hey, there's no reason for me to stop yet.

(and all the more reason to not stop if Satoru and Daifuku become the next two male Cures in WonPre OMGI'MSOGONNAJINXTHISAREN'TIBWUAHAHAHAHA!!!)

But my priorities have shifted so I gotta tend to those foremost. And as much as I enjoy the show, I feel like I'm always saying the same stuff over and over again anyway, just in different variations of it.

(also, something about WonPre tells me the next four years will be filled with hit-or-miss seasons so meh, I'd rather just follow it leisurely than get too invested and then disappointed)

On another note, I do have some personal rankings that I'd like to post some day. I was going to do it for the 20th anniversary but didn't have time to cuz life got way too hectic and busy but yea, eventually I'll have them up.

Just for fun, y'know.

Ok, that is all.

Thank you, my hero girls and boy! You made this season so wonderful hahahaha, good luck, WonPre for me and I can't be grateful enough for it.

Thank you for a beautiful anniversary! Let's aim for the next!

25th year with 100+ Precure!

Let's gooooooooooooo!!!

[otakusheep15]

i would LOVE a matchup with one of the obey me boys!!

she/her (female)

i’m bi

positives: i’m a very patient person and amazing with kids. im very hardworking and determined. decently creative and pretty academically intelligent. i am a kind person and extremely observant. i can read a room very easy.

negatives: i tend to procrastinate quite a bit, i am quite shy (socially anxious and awkward), i need a lot of reassurance as i get insecure easy and going along with this is i can get jealous. not to a point where im like “don’t talk to them!!” but where i get in my own head about things. my hyperfixations can get quite obsessive lol

hobbies: fashion (? not sure if that counts), sewing, writing, decorating, playing roblox, and hanging out with friends

fav color: PINK!!! my room is centered around the color pink lol

no asmo or levi pleaseeee (love them tho but would rather not be matched w/ them)

i tend to dress more hyperfem, i believe it’s called “shojo girl” now? fav artists are currently lamp, laufey, wave to earth, mitski but i also like bands such as pierce the veil and sleeping with sirens so my music taste has a wide range lol. i’m 5’2 love to travel !! i think that’s about it….

thank you in advance !! love your writing !!!!! <333

You sound like such a fun person anon! Def someone I would be friends with!

I think the best match for you would be Satan!

While Satan can be patient and calm, he isn't the Avatar of Wrath for nothing. Even after centuries of learning to control his anger, he still has a hard time handling his emotions. Someone patient and kind is an absolute must for him. He would also appreciate someone hardworking, as he is a very hard worker himself. He has gained many connections all around the Devildom through hard work, and he values someone who has a similar work ethic. Similarly, Satan also valus someone who is both intelligent and creative. He is very academic himself, but he tends to struggle with more creative tasks, so having someone who is good at both would be nice for him. That way, he can have someone on his level academically while also being able to learn something about being more creative. Since Satan is also quite good at reading the room, I imagine the two of you would have a lot of silent communication about the vibes at any function, whether good or bad.

It's okay if you tend to procrastinate, as Satan is easily the best person to help you out. He's strict about helping you stick to a schedule, but he's kind and (for the most part) patient while helping you. If you have an assignment due that you're really procrastinating on, he'll help you out to ensure you get it done on time. Your shyness is also not a huge deal, as Satan is far from shy himself. The two of you balance really well, as he's able to handle social situations for you. Naturally, he will try to push you out of your shell, but he won't force you if you're not ready. He's more than happy to do the talking until you're comfortable. When it comes to your insecurity, Satan is very good at combating it. He is very blunt about his feelings, and there's never any doubt about the way he feels for you. If he senses any insecurity, he's quick to shut it down. He'll tell you directly that you have nothing to worry about, as you're the only one for him. Hyperfixations are no issue either, as he can often hyperfixate on things as well. Lots of infodumping dates for the two of you. Bonus points if you both hyperfixate on the same thing(s) so that you can talk about it together.

Most of your hobbies are not things Satan is normally interested in, but he's curious by nature, and he has no problem trying something new for you. The only one he has experience with is writing, which is something he loves to do. He's better at writing academic papers and the like, but he's dabbled in poetry as well, and it's something he'd like to practice more. If you ever need someone to bounce ideas off of, or if you need a proofreader, he's your guy. Satan does know some things about fashion and sewing because of Asmo and Levi, but he's not too familiar with either subject himself. If you're willing to teach him a thing or two, he'd love to learn. It's not that he's particularly interested in fashion himself, but he cares about you, and he wants to share your interests. I could also see him enjoying Roblox, if only so he can be mean to kids when he beats them in games. Just make sure he doesn't lose or anything, as he might ragequit, which would not be good for anyone.

I also think he'd love your "shojo girl" vibe a lot. It's not his usual style, but I think he'd find it cute, and he'd definitely listen to the music you like. For him, music is a way to understand someone, so he'd definitely listen to all of your faves.

Rules for matchups

[claire-starsword]

The Guardiana Magic School Run - Part 17

Hey everyone, remember this? I sure don't! I was swept away by the task of translating the novel and, while this haunted my every moment as something i didn't want to leave unfinished, i barely remember what was going on. I do remember being not excited at all for the boring battle ahead, but hey, chapter 6 is a difficulty spike, so let's get over this already.

First of all, let's make things even easier.

We're past easter and egg hunts, it's now time for fish hunts. Hanzou pops out as a reward of this silly puzzle, which is leagues better than his original hiding spot. Also we get to enjoy more chapters with him. That's right, he's a magic user! Totally valid for this run.

I also thought you needed to click on the fish to find him but you just have to stand on it. So he just jumped out while i was busy typing, which scared the hell out of me, don't do that again, man.

Anyway, his attack is massive, surpassing even Max, but his defense is uh, on par with Tao's. That's bad (she does have a couple Steel Rings to have that though). Because of that, I'm passing the Repel Ring from Gong to him so that he doesn't have to worry about counters at least. We can do even better though.

I completely forgot in the last updates, but Waral sells a unique item, the Wind Ring, which grants +5% evasion. I don't think I'll be needing too much money for a while, I'm holding back on a lot of promotions so mages and healers won't be using the late staves yet, also I remember there is at least one free Holy Staff next chapter. Also, evasion is very ninja-like, isn't? So I get two for Hanzou, one for Gong and one for Tao. I also set Hanzou with some Healing Seeds and a Shower Cure, as I have some of these just laying around, I guess? I really don't remember a lot lol

Anyway, it's time to leave Waral for what I consider the most boring battle in all of this game.

It's the ship. Again. It was easy last time too. Yay.

Truly this chapter is the filler arc of Shining Force. It even got a beach on it.

Anyway, the clear bonus is the Soulbuster, which has already shown up in the Deals section, but would be nice to get it for free instead. I probably already talked about it when it first popped up, but who says I remember that, and who says you can make me shut up. So, the Soulbuster is a sword made for human enemies. There are not many of those, I think the Dark Priests count, but! I believe it counts for Cain. You can see it's being given right before chapter 6. And while this run has been easy so far, I still fear Cain. I ALWAYS fear Cain. So yeah, I want this.

Thankfully this battle won't waste our time with enemies behind the ship. We can just advance. I believe more enemies will be spawning in the middle.

Domingo is my greatest tank by far in both HP and defense, so he can probably handle whatever.

Arthur apparently has good defense right now, which always takes me by surprise.

I assume there's no need to stress here, so I'm spamming heals with the healers to get exp, and I don't think Narsha's Attack boosts will be needed even everyone's pretty strong already, so I'm Boosting Anri's spells with her instead. She levels up for her troubles and get Attack level 3, which I don't think I ever used.

Turn 2. Only a Sea Bat came forth. I'm bored. Domingo continues to advance and taunt enemies while tossing a Freeze 1 at it. Arthur finishes the job.

My plan with Narsha was to boost Tao's spells next, but she doesn't need it, so I'm casting step on Anri instead to see if she can reach enemies, because this woman is behind on levels and it's sad. It's still not enough for her to reach anything yet!! dang it!!

Turn 3. Trying to bait a pegasus knight with Domingo while still trying to get rid of this Gargoyle before it reaches anyone squishier.

how is he real

Arthur is poisoned but I honestly don't think that matters. He levels up and gets +3 attack.

Oh I'm remembering now how absurd this woman currently is.

Khris is so nice that she actually reaches to heal 3 HP of Arthur instead of spamming for exp only. With this she nabs an important level up! She has Heal 3 now, which was my main reason for delaying her promotion. I'm still on the fence if I'll delay until level 20 for Aura, depends on the equipment we'll get next chapter, and if I'll even get opportunities to safely use these priests for attacking.

Turn 4. Finally the pegasus knights are coming, and more enemies have spawned. Unlike what I thought they spawn further to the right. The empty middle of this map really was just to waste our time. Fiiiiiiiller.

Domingo has a chance to do AoE, and I love that. I am a bit worried about Anri exposed, but I'm hoping she can survive at least one hit, and that they'll also be obsessed by Max as usual. I don't wanna miss the bonus so I need someone to go ahead.

Arthur finishes the bat. Tao sadly cannot reach anything. Khris can, but I'm worried so I'll continue spamming heal for now.

Hanzou debuts with style! And then I cramp his style by failing to screenshot that caption properly, it was a double attack.

Max obliterates a bat with unnecessary violence (critical i failed to screenshot), and also does his most important job: baiting everything and anything away from Anri.

Unfortunately these enemies are so easy that she gets only 16 exp from a kill, I'm fighting a losing battle trying to get anything useful out of this.

BWAH???

okay i completely forgot that Max's defense hasn't keep up with the enemies in this run, I'm way too used with this man being a tank. At least he does have lots of HP to spare. And the other enemies aren't nearly as strong as the knights (knights have 30 attack, conches have 22 and the bats even less).

Thankfully Lowe moves right away to help his roommate. Also Arthur kills a conch on counter, which is awesome.

On Turn 5 he one hit kills another Conch and I regret scrolling fast because he gets another massive level up which i would've liked to screenshot. Lots of 4 and 5, you had to see it. Really wild how good he is if you put in the effort.

Tao obliterates the greatest threat we faced here.

I decide Max can just tank for a while and maybe, just maybe, Anri can get something more out of this.

Since the battle is ending I waste a whole Aura of Narsha just to heal Arthur's poison damage. She gets 20 exp out of that, which is wonderful, I love mass healing.

Hanzou continues to be wonderful. I was right about the rings.

She gets a level! :D

Turn 6. I start worrying about the bonus and decide Arthur should just kill the final enemy. Arthur proceeds to miss. Then Domingo gets a Freeze on the thing and I decide to risk things a bit and wait for Anri to get the kill. Not like she can miss, I'm just paranoid about doing things tight like this.

But never mind that! Everything goes perfectly fine, and she gets… 9 exp.

Please let this filler end already.

[insert screenshot of the clear bonus here, i hit the image limit but we did get it]

Losses: 0 Deaths: 2

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

heg these are mostly food based musings based around Dick Grayson and with some bonus throwing adhd at Dick Grayson because hes funky

I am hungry as fuck and im thinking about Dick Grayson so (projects onto him so hard) I feel like being a vigilante/hero guy takes a lot of time and energy, right? and everything ever takes time and energy so sometimes I think dick would straight up just not get the opportunity to eat, and the length of time he goes with out being able to stop and eat depends on what's happening. I mean that or he has snack stashes around the city lol, which I mean would still mean there would be times hes going hungry. that and hes a workaholic, so he might be able to eat and work especially of the thing allows for that, however hes probably gonna be too absorbed/focused on the task that eating would just not happen anyway. Especially if he has to prepare it. and like idk what his day job is/if he has one but he probably at least gets something for lunch more consistently(food being served there, restaurants in the area, vending machine), because im not sure he would have energy/time for breakfast everyday, he might be able to grab a snack or something, he might not. dinner he might also be able to do somewhat, depends on if he eats before or after patrols, hell even how late/early he eats dinner too. I feel like his chances of actually eating dinner increase the earlier he does it, but not too early because thats just lunch twice. and the later he eats the more its just a really early breakfast. and eating before patrol could throw him off his game(stomach hits suck) and after would heavily depend on patrol not exploding him energy level wise, and if he isn't like heavily wounded. plus they would probably be light anyway due to being later anyway. or he just doesn't eat dinner. he might just subsist solely on snacking through out the day when he can. or grazing, eating a little bit here and there. head canon stuff now this is the main projection part and less “being a vigilante is hard bc how the fuck does anyone have time or energy to be a somewhat functioning  person” stuff, tho its still there lol: of course I'm also a big fan of adhd haver Dick Grayson so *tosses that into the mix* he can just straight up forget to eat for a while, and realize hours later he feels like shit because he hasn't eaten anything all day. he buys food, just puts in the fridge but sometimes it gets shoved to the back or put into a drawer and then its forgotten until its gone bad. or he just cant get himself to actually start making food. hes hungry he wants food he just cant get up and start. and then he spends 3 hours either fucking around/doing work stuff. or the vice versa where he gets bored so he snacks on things and ends up eating too much. maybe he starts making himself food, but ends up getting distracted and never finishes, and then when he remembers hes lost all his momentum. so he just doesn't eat. maybe he can’t only eat certain foods because of texture issues, and its the only thing available, maybe he suddenly finds his favorite food unappetizing, maybe he becomes fixated on a food and eats almost only that thing, maybe it changes, maybe it stays consistent. maybe he impulsively buys a bunch of snack food, maybe he forgets to go to the store, maybe he has to go back out late at night to restock his groceries Because hes hungry but has no food. maybe he buys takeout a lot, maybe its the same thing every time, maybe he gets sick of it but hes tired, sore, and hungry. maybe the hungry feeling goes away, and he gets surprised when his body starts reacting negatively to running on fumes for hours, maybe he hyperfixates on something and doesn't eat for hours, and doesn't realize until he gets up and is immediately hit by every status effect ever. maybe he has a few meals he can just make really quick, maybe he has frozen foods that are infinitely easier to make but he forgets.

[starsbegantofall]

All of the clothes mending I finished this 3 day weekend, except for the bottom right pants, I actually did two of them, light pink and bright fuschia. Did any of these mending tasks take more than 5 to 10 minutes to do? No. Not at all. Then why did it take me so long to do them? The mental illness.

For some reason my washing machine or dryer (or dry cleaner) eats up buttons, but I managed to rescue the buttons and finally replaced them on 5 pieces of clothing. I also repaired a ripped pocket seam on some homemade flannel pajama pants. As for the pink trousers, these are to be worn with ao dai (traditional Vietnamese clothing) but I was apparently much skinnier 6 or so years ago when I first got these tailored. I thought I would never be able to wear them again but I noticed the front waistband was sewn with a large seam allowance tacked down on the interior center, and if I let out the seam allowance to its fullest, it would just fit my waist exactly. I ripped the front seam out and resewed the seam with like 1/4 inch seam allowance and now I can wear these trousers without compression. They don't match my new teal ao dai (also had to upsize to an XL instead of M lol) that well, but don't look too bad especially since the front is hidden under the dress, so I consider this a win. Especially if I want new pants, I would have to sew my own pants with invisible zipper, and that's beyond my skill level. I technically have to hem my ao dai since I won't be wearing the tallest shoes in the world with them but I think I need someone to measure the hem for me, so that's gotta wait.

The last mending I have to do is replacing lost rhinestones on a jacket and blouse but I would have to shop around for rhinestones. Pro tip, handwash anything with rhinestones because they will fall out no matter how delicate cycle you use. And an older Liz Lisa dress with the elastic cracking at the sleeves but I dunno if I want to handsew or machine sew the chiffon yet.

Below is before shot of the overfull mending basket, with the ao dai draped over top, plus some finished mending I did earlier this year including: a Pokemon fluffy headband for washing your face with the elastic disintegrated, a velvet cloth for protecting my violin with the batting inside disintegrated and replaced with fluffy flannel, zipper replacement for my Liz Lisa dress, and sewing up a ripped seam on my leopard print pillowcase.

And for a little bonus photo, four scrunchies I made from some print fabric scraps, yes with my fake nails on, some scraps too small to make anything but tiny doll clothes out of, but the scale would be weird. Not sure I want to keep making them though because as my previous mending photos indicate, the elastic will eventually wear out (probably in like 5 or 10 years but still... that's annoying). What do you think? Yay or nay?

[house-of-mirrors]

🍝 can the blorbos cook

I mean. I think I know where Miles falls on this but....

Lmao yeah Miles cannot cook, grew up rich and had everything done for them. Once or twice, Orsinio bullies them into cutting vegetables or cleaning dishes and they hate it, this is the worst punishment (though a part of them enjoys being pushed around ;) )

Orsinio has reasonable cooking skills, he can feed himself, though he gets very easily distracted and tends to forget to eat. Also, being in the Neath and getting chewed on by eldritch horrors has worsened his disability, so he's struggled more with the physical task of cooking. Since he has financially stability in the Neath, he has hired kitchen help (and it feels good for him to be able to offer a high salary to people who need it). He also gets regularly invited to lunch with friends and spends a lot of time with Samuel.

Samuel loves cooking, he runs a bar so I would sure hope so. He has a collection of recipes from his travels across the Neath and loves cooking them and sharing the story of where the recipe came from with his found family. He sees himself as one of the caretakers of London and won't let anyone who comes to him go hungry.

Lucretia can cook, on the same general self-sustenance level as Orsinio. She's my one token OC who isn't neurodivergent so she doesn't forget to eat and generally has more success in the kitchen than him lol.

Bonus my Skies Captain: Does it matter if they can cook when they're dating Mr Apples? hehe

[yandere-daze]

Hiii, found your content a bit ago and I just went into a hyperfixation on it lol. You have no idea how much your writing just brings me happiness, at first I wasn't that interested ES but man your content is the reason I finally decided to download the game. So as a newbie, do you have any tips on how to play this game?

Awww omg that´s so sweet to hear? Genuinely thank you for sending in this ask, it really made me happy when I read it after I got home from work🥺💕 It´s not that often that I get such nice messages like this one so it just feels really nice and I´ll definitely treasure it!! It´s just so flattering to hear that my writing made someone interested in a game they weren´t all that interested in in the beginning! I hope you´re having fun with the game so far!

I´m assuming you´re playing on the english server? So I´m not quite sure what´s important for someone new to the game to know so I´m just going to ramble a bit and mention whatever comes to mind ^^

Okay so the main gameplay is the lives obviously. I don´t know if you´ve played any rhythm games before so this might take a bit time getting used to. One thing I´d recommend is to go into the settings for the lives and to adjust the note speed so it´s the same for every difficulty. By default the speed at which the notes appear is slower for easy difficulty and faster the higher you go, which imo can be kind of disorienting because the reaction time is so different. Try to experiment a bit to find out what speed suits you best!

Also this is a personal preference but you´ll probably want to turn down the volume for tapping notes as well because it´s pretty loud by default and it kind of drowns out the voices and music

For the teams you use while playing songs, try to match the colors of the cards used to the color of the song as it gives you a stat bonus if they´re matching! There´s also a bonus for using the original members of the song in your lineup ( you can see them in the top right when you select a song). So for example if you use a Shu card in a Valkyrie song, you get a bonus. One thing to mention though is that 5 star cards are usually always stronger than 4 star ones so it might give you a better score to use an off-color 5 star instead.

Speaking of cards, I´d recommend only using your exp tickets on 5 star cards. You´ll probably get quite a few of them the more you play and eventually you won´t have enough materials to level all of them so don´t waste them on 4 stars that you aren´t going to use later on.

Every card also has an idol road that you can see by tapping on a card in the card menu and you can view it from there. Usually unlocking spaces gives you increased stats, outfits, backgrounds, stories or spps and the like so you´ll want to eventually start unlocking stuff for your 5 stars. You can earn the materials needed for the upgrade by playing songs or from event rewards.

Also for your own sanity, try to focus on a few characters you really like when trying to pull because enstars is not that generous when it comes to the gacha currency and the pull rates for 5 stars are kind of shitty so you´ll only be in pain when you want to get a lot of cards. it´s probably best to limit yourself a bit once you´ve found out which characters you like best

Most of this is also explained in the start missions, which I really recommend doing! You can find it as a little symbol on the left of your homescreen. The game leads you through doing different tasks that are essential to the game and it gives you a bunch of bonuses and also a free 5 star Subaru card that will be a big help to your team

Of course one of the most important things about enstars are the characters so you´ll probably want to read some of their stories to get to know them better and maybe to find your faves. The game itself has a main story, campaign ( event) stories, scout stories and idol stories. The main story is pretty self-explanatory. Event stories are unlocked when you earn enough points in an event. You get scout stories from pulling certain cards from the gacha. Especially later pretty much every 5 star aside from the starter pull ones will come with their own story you can read if you have the card. Every character also has one idol story unlocked from the very beginning, which you can also find under the story tab. It´s usually a short little talk between an idol and the player

The english server is still very new so there´ll slowly be more stories translated in the game when the new events come. In the mean time I´d recommend checking out the blog fortunebanquet on Tumblr, they have a masterlist of most of the available fan translations of older stories linked in their description. It´s super helpful and probably the best way to look for stories to read. Just look for whatever seems the most interesting to you ^^

There´s also an office you can decorate with different items but it´s not too important imo and you´ll probably figure out how it works when you tap on it for the first time

This feels pretty long so I´m going to end this post here, I hope any of this helped you in any way. Don´t be afraid to ask if you have any more questions, I´m more than happy to try to answer to the best of my abilities!!

[shapiros]

TASK 06. CHARACTER INFLUENCES.

check under the cut for character analysis / inspo !

01. mia wallace.

so, the first version of blair was intended to be a direct inspiration of mia – it was for a roleplay where all the characters were based off of iconic 90s figures ! as part of mia’s backstory, she was an aspiring actress who never accomplished more than a failed television pilot. otherwise, she’s mysterious and smokes a lot of cigarettes ? i changed some of the storyline for volume a bit, because i was nervous it was too heavy tbh, i wasn’t sure what the vibe was going to be coming into the group and what i could pull off. however, she enjoys novelty and loves corny jokes . . . so i’m sure the inspiration is obvious from there. 

02. audrey horne.

i never finished twin peaks, but i got super close before they took it off netflix lol. but this dale cooper quote : “ you're beautiful, intelligent, desirable. you're everything a man wants in his life. but what you need right now, more than anything else, is a friend. ” makes me cry really, bc that’s exactly how i feel about blair sometimes. also, audrey’s neglected by her parents and acts a little crazy as a result, literally lies all the time, and comes up with a lot of disguises and aliases throughout the story. 

03. michelle burroughs.

this one is funny bc she says like 3 words throughout the movie, but the point is vibes. mainly she’s just hanging with the guys and smokes a lot. i remember a list of characters from this movie ranked by coolness where she was 13/50 and they noted that she spends the film listening to music, getting stoned, and vandalizing statues. gives me a lot of jamie/marty/blair/dean in high school energy. i think it also helps that a lot of dazed and confused’s vibes inspired woodstock itself. 

04. dylan sanders.

a teenage rebel with lackluster grades and a penchant for trouble. they’re twin flames, really, and i think of this quote from madison lee, who said she’s, “always out to prove how tough and independent she is but unable to make it on her own.” that’s a mood. dylan, before joining the angels, had a number of odd jobs and hobbies, like bartender, yoga instructor, field guide, rodeo entertainer, etc, and i liken this to blair’s impetuous nature and frequently changing hobbies and interests. 

05. fleabag.

relentlessly snarky and sassy, always trying to get a joke in. many sexual encounters, though few with meaning. however, once you get past the surface level stuff, i feel like fleabag’s storyline includes a lot of what i’m trying to accomplish with blair, too. she’s fundamentally flawed, prone to bad decisions and acts on impulse, but deep down, she has a good heart and tries to protect people that she cares about . . . even when she often fails. bonus quotes: “sometimes i worry i’d be less of a feminist if i had a bigger chest.” / “don’t make me an optimist, you will ruin my life.” 

06. marla singer.

god, this list is such a red flag, please run away not only from blair, but from me. re: strong willed woman who comes across as totally batshit. i feel like it says a lot that you meet marla at a testicular cancer support group, a disease that she obviously doesn’t have lmao. she just goes there for free coffee, and you know, these are the things blair will do for free shit and i feel like she carries this same unhinged energy. 

07. daisy jones.

i feel like this is self-explanatory without the success...though maybe success is still pending for blair, she has time. but tall girl with a certain measure of star quality who leaves her priveleged and lonely life to try her hand at hollywood, throwing herself into a world of sex and drugs. she’s someone who really wants to have a lot of freedom, but finds herself at a loss from one turn to another, and i think of her turning up to music practice with like a bottle of wine in her hand and an air of unprofessionalism and i feel like it really suits blair. not to mention when i look back at descriptions of how lonely daisy felt growing up and the certain emptiness she felt in her house, i feel like it parallels a lot with blair and even her private desire to prove herself, even if she’s traumatized by failure and scared to admit it. i also remember being really inspired by daisy’s perception of love, the entire “i wish someone had told me that love wasn’t supposed to be torture / i thought love was war / i didn’t know it was supposed to be peace.” i finished the book right around the time i started playing blair and i definitely was inspired by that idea, of blair believing that love is something that makes you heavier instead of lighter. 

08. margot tenenbaum. 

when margot ran away from home and came back with one of her fingers missing and no one knows what happened . . . blair felt that ! she’s also infamously secretive, often sulking, smoking, and ignoring her husband. blair also felt that. her father also consistently points out that she was “adopted,” therefore isolating her and setting her apart from her siblings . . . feeling isolated within your own family is a big blair theme for all of these honestly, as well as characters who are iconically known for smoking cigarettes apparently, but we been knew blair doesn’t smell the best.

other blair inspo: 

quote

hehe

and i oop

yikes

xoxo

honorable mentions/quiz results: tokyo – money heist, eleanor shellstrop – tgp, faye valentine – cowboy bebop, effy stonem – skins, clementine – eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, tyra collette – fnl, maeby funke – arrested development

[alpacaparkaseok]

Book of Soulmates - OT7 Bonus

Hello everyone! Happy Valentine’s day! I know some of you are way ahead of my timezone and have already passed Valentine’s day, but I hope that you guys enjoy this regardless! 

@nochujeonjk​ requested a Yoongi hot & cold au, so I thought that I’d throw together this special little story to wrap up the soulmate aus nicely. hopefully this is alright!

Thank you all for reading, and you’re always welcome to drop in any time. I love hearing from you. Stay tuned for the epilogue to my series ‘Mine’ this week, as well as Jimin’s red string of fate series coming on February 22nd!

premise: how to boys would react with simple day-to-day tasks while managing their soulmate bonds, and how they meet their soulmates

Seokjin - barcode bond

honestly tries not to look at it too much

but there are days when it’s all he can look at

is quite curious about the technology used to scan the barcodes 

when he thinks nobody is watching, he’ll go down to the entrance of the Bighit building and scan his barcode over and over again

he’s a little jealous of the others’ bonds, which seem more personal

but he’s also terrified of the day when he’ll be notified that somebody with his same barcode entered the building

like, how is he supposed to talk to you?

these are usually what he thinks about during boring interviews

but then there’s a day when he’s biking to work

and he’s keeping his head down, just trying to keep out of sight

but he sees you

and he knows

which makes him realize that maybe his bond isn’t so impersonal after all, if he can recognize you without any help of a machine

so when you walk inside a shop and he notices that you do indeed have a barcode bond, which you scan as you walk in, he’s calling Namjoon and telling him he’s going to be a little late

and before he can even think it through, he’s throwing his bike in the bike rack and walking in after you, scanning his barcode

and watches as it declares a match

after that, he realizes he has no clue what he’s doing

but that just makes you smile

every once in a while, Jin will drag you down to the entrance of the Bighit building just to scan both of your barcodes and see them match up

it just never gets old

Yoongi - hot & cold bond

he’s grown up being fairly cold, so he’s used to it

but it’s not the most pleasant sensation

used to take really long, steaming hot showers

but now he just gets in and out as quickly as he can

because he knows that the warmth is only temporary

and he wants you

so when he wakes up one morning absolutely freezing, he can hardly get out of bed.

what he doesn’t know is that you’ve left the country for school, but find yourself in a similar cold situation

Bighit, worried for Yoongi’s health (mentally and physically), set out to find you

it’s pretty easy. a letter, phone call, and plane ticket later, you’re heading back to Seoul just to meet Yoongi and get your body temperatures normal so you can head back to school

Yoongi takes the longest, hottest shower of his life, trying to figure out what life at a warm temperature will be like

but it still does nothing to prepare him for the shock of you does to him

you’re...radiant. smiling from the second you want into the room where he’s waiting for you

and as his internal body temperature soars before settling down to an average level, he just stares at you with the widest eyes

what ensues is a long-distance relationship in which Yoongi claims that he’s cold when you’re gone

you both know that’s not true - after soulmates with this kind of bond meet they have a normal body temperature regardless of distance

but you still cave every once in a while and let him fly you back home to him

the man literally flies you thousands of miles just to cuddle with you for a few days before you have to leave

the boys tease him mercilessly for it

but he just pretends he has no idea what they’re talking about

Hoseok - timer bond

this man strives to be organized - for good reason

he feels like if he’s clean and organized, it’ll make this entire bond easier to manage

he doesn’t very often show how nervous it makes him feel, but there have been a few times that the boys have found him in the studio late at night, eyes closed with his timer covered

everyone is grateful that they don’t have that bond

but Hobi handles it like a champ

he’s smiling when there are only 60 minutes left, because finally, but then he realizes that he’s in the studio

and literally nobody that isn’t authorized is allowed inside

lol you’re totally not authorized

but you’ve also got a package to deliver, which is your part time job as a university student

so when you ask for where you can deliver a package that Hobi ordered online, an intern tells you that he’s in his studio

which leads to you wandering around the Bighit building

utterly lost

and realizing with more panic than you care to admit that you’ve literally only got thirty minutes left before you meet your soulmate

the only thought on both your and Hobi’s mind is how you have to get out

so you take the stairs, when you finally find them with just a few minutes left on your timer

still holding Hobi’s package when you stumble out the doors to find that you’re in a flipping parking garage

who on earth is going to be chilling is a parking garage when they’re about to meet their soulmate?!

Jung Hoseok, that’s who.

he’s debating between driving his car somewhere more central, or sticking around the building

but he’s a fool and dropped his keys

so naturally you pick them up right as he’s running back to grab them, heart pounding out of his chest

needless to say, you get to deliver him the package, his keys, and your heart

0:00

Namjoon - shared pain bond

he immediately apologizes to you in his mind every single time he breaks something an hurts himself

oh he totally knows that you’re gonna give him an earful when you meet

but he’s so excited

like, giddy schoolboy excited to someday meet you

there’s no rush, but he thinks about it a little too much

he’s learned that you must be a little clumsy like him, because it feels like you stub your toe all the time

but he really doesn’t mind

if the boys so much as begin to bring you up, he dies

like the awkward little bean he is

but he also stresses about how he’s supposed to find you

the boys invite him out with some other friends to get him to de-stress

you’re there

he’s there, obviously

and literally everyone else that’s there already is pretty sure that you two are soulmates

so they just watch you two as the night progresses, wondering if either of you will catch on

you literally get up to go to the bathroom and stub your toe on the way out, but Namjoon is so focused on the menu that he doesn’t make the connection. he just frowns a little before continuing asking Jimin what he’s getting to eat

Jimin can’t answer him because he’s laughing so hard

it isn’t until later that night, when you’re at your apartment that you begin to wonder

Namjoon thought you were really cool, and ends up FaceTiming you thanks to the boys dropping several hints

His hands are shaking a little when he pinches his skin, just enough for it to sting

you hiss a little, frowning at your arm before continuing with whatever you were talking about

Namjoon is pretty much out of commission from that point on

so this boy freaking courts you for a couple of weeks before you finally realize that HE’S YOUR SOULMATE AND HE’S KNOWN ALL ALONG

how do you find out?

he tries cooking for you one night and hurts himself consistently enough that you’re left reeling with both laughter and tears 

he’s embarrassed about hiding it from you, but admits that he just didn’t know how to tell you

you tell him that you don’t mind...but that you’re definitely going to use this against him in the future

Jimin - shared dreams bond

the sweetest soulmate ever

with one of the best bonds, everyone tells him

Jimin gets paranoid before he goes to sleep, and repeats “I love you, I love you, I love you” over and over again in hopes that it’ll somehow be translated into his dreams

gets super jealous and grumpy if you dream about guys, even if it’s purely platonic

but oh my lanta does he get so excited and giddy when you dream about beautiful things like soulmates

the other boys are so curious about his bond, so they ask him about it al the time

like, “what did she dream about last night, Jiminie?”

he’s positive that you know who he is, he’s sure he’s dreamt of him and the boys countless times

but he also knows that you probably won’t just show up at his dorm

so he’s dying to have something to go off of, to help him find you

that’s when you dream about your first day of university

he knows that campus

and he’s there the next day, mask on and hood up, flowers in hand

he has no clue what he’s doing

but he just hopes that somehow he’ll run into you

the first day he goes there, he comes home empty handed

instead of being all mopey and sad like the boys expected him to be, he’s even more determined than ever

he’s on campus with a new bouquet every day

on the fourth day, you come running over with your books in hand

he dreamt about this last night 

you’ve been scouring every inch of the campus for him, and heard from a friend that there was a mysterious guy chilling in front of the science building

of course the science building is clear on the other side of campus

so you’re out of breath and frazzled by the time you make it over there, but so happy

and Jimin practically throws the flowers at you, he’s suddenly so nervous

which makes you laugh

and your laugh makes him laugh

and that night you dream about each other

Taehyung - initials bond

ugh this is the worst bond

like, Tae will fight anyone on it, it’s hands down the worst

because he’s met countless people with your same initials!

but maybe fate understands that this bond sucks, because it’s also becoming more and more rare

it eventually just gets to a point where Tae decides to take matters into his own hands

he literally designs his own t-shirt with his initials on the back and yours on the front

fans think it’s adorable

you’re shocked when you see it selling out

soon almost every ARMY owns the shirt and begins the ‘initial project’

you don’t want to tell people that you’ve got KTH on your wrist, because what if it’s not him?

but where there a will ARMY, there’s a way

so tae tae finds out through the grapevine about you

and basically calls you out over vlive

it’s hilarious

staff wanna kill him but can’t do anything about it

but man he just wants to meet you

so with some assistance from ARMY, you guys meet

it’s at a flower festival in Ilsan

tae’s wearing his glasses

and all he can think about is that you look like you belong here, among all of these flowers

so he tells you that, with the shyest, sweetest smile

and you marvel that this is the same man that literally hunted you down using social media and his fan base

you’re still a little skeptical, so you ask him how he can be sure that it’s you when there are so many that share your initials

and he just smiles again

and asks if he can hold your hand while you guys walk around and enjoy the festival

so you agree, albeit a little hesitantly

and as you guys walk around, you realize that you know exactly what he’s talking about

hand in hand, smiling up at him and thinking that he belongs with the stars glittering above you, you realize that there’s no way he’s not your soulmate

he looks down at you and sees that you get it

but he wants to make sure you know it anyway

so he shuffles a little closer and squeezes your hand a little tighter

and from then on, you’re known as ARMY’s soulmate, since they helped you two find each other

Jungkook - drawing bond

obviously, Jungkook loves drawing

he’s very good at it, too

so nobody questions him when he’s off in the corner of the practice room scribbling something on his arm or leg

he jokes how about how you two complete each other because you rarely draw, you write

notes, grocery lists, titles to books, whatever

you write, and he draws.

so if you need to buy apples (they’re on sale!) Jungkook is grabbing a pen and doodling a bushel of apples on his knee

you love it

he mainly loves you

the boys tease him nonstop about it, because it’s so painfully obvious

he’s a goner, and you haven’t even met each other

but he’s so nervous to meet you

and there’s no rush, really

but when he sees Tae trying so hard to find his soulmate, he wonders if it’s time for him and you to finally meet

his bond is the easier by far

and there are so many night where he lays in bed with a pen in hand, wondering if he should just go for it. drop his number, an address, his name, anything

but he never does

he’s so afraid

and he’s so in love that he feels like you’ll freak out when you realize that he’s fallen in love with a person he’s never had any face-to-face contact with

but then there’s this night where all the boys are hanging out together and their soulmates are present (because they’ve all met by this point) and Jungkook realizes how happy he feels

like, he’s genuinely happy. for his hyungs, for himself. he’s lucky that he gets to have this strange little family.

and he realizes that you should get to have this, too. 

so that night he scrawls his phone number out on the back of his hand with a simple note

‘call if you feel comfortable with it’

you freak out

like, fist pumping while also wondering if this is gonna blow up in your face

by the time you’ve weighed all the pros and cons, it’s nearly three in the morning. but you’ve got to call him. now.

so you do, secretly praying that you get the voicemail

but kook is up. of course he is, he’s been waiting on the edge of his bed since eleven pm.

he answers and you realize as soon as he says hello that you’ve fallen in love with this man

which is terrifying, but if he was the one to give out his number, he must want to meet you, right? 

right.

when you do meet, everyone is there. all the boys, all of their soulmates. watching as Jungkook leaps off the park bench and runs to you, and he giggles.

giggles. it’s adorable.

and it’s cute and awkward and a little crowded with all 14 of you, but it’s better than you’d ever imagined.

Jungkook waits all of two hours before grabbing your hand and whispering, “I love you”

so you grab a pen from your bag and smile up at him as you write “I love you, too” into your skin

masterlist

aaaand that’s a wrap! overall, this was the 20th and final installment to the Book of Soulmates! This one was a bit different from the others, since the others are actual mini stories with one member at a time, but I hope you enjoyed!

Happy Valentine’s day!! Love you all! Stay tuned for the fun things coming up! Check my navigation tab to see what’s next!

[love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie]

Another one for you! What are your five "go to" GG episodes you find the most rewatchable? They Shoot Gilmores and The Lorelais' First Day at Yale are definitely both on my list, but I'm still trying to pick just three more from the zillion other episodes I love :)

Thank you for this. I really appreciate it💕 Right off the bat I’m going to apologies for how long this is. I couldn’t keep it to just five episodes and I had a need to explain why these are my most rewatchable episodes.

1) Forgiveness and Stuff (1x10) I’m such a sucker for Luke being there for his girls. The way he gives Taylor, the guy he’s thrown a frying pan at because he’s annoying and he hates him, the keys to his establishment just shows how much he cares and knew Lorelai needed him. It makes me happy. Plus it’s where we get the classic blue hat. Lorelai saying Luke always looks good and Luke saying “I can’t imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.” Such cute moments in this episode.

2) Dead Uncles & Vegetables (2x17) Just as I love Luke being there for his girls, I equally love when Lorelai and Rory are there for him. Luke and Lorelai are a cute married couple in this episode (and pretty much all episodes really) and you can’t convince me otherwise. Also, don’t we all just love the way Rory makes Jess help out. It’s so funny seeing him just let her and we all know he’s loving it.

3) A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving (3x09) If you don’t join in when everyone is chanting ‘Jackson,’ then you haven’t been watching this episode right. I love getting to watch the girls go through their Thanksgiving traditions, especially Lorelai and Luke’s. The Lane and Dave moments are cute! The girls eating with Luke and Jess is adorable and they all look like a cute happy family. I adore the fact that Lorelai takes food from Luke’s plate. I’m telling you these people have been married since day one. Plus it’s Jess and Rory’s first Thanksgiving together as a couple and ain’t that cute! I love drunk Sookie! She’s funny and I can’t help but say her lines with her.

4) A Tale of Poes and Fire (3x17) It’s super fun seeing Michel interacting with Miss Patty and Babette. Lorelai screaming ‘Stella’ for Luke to come to the window is always fun to watch. But the best part is Lorelai telling Luke about her dream and how they smile while discussing it. Lorelai not being about to tell Luke that they kissed in her dream because it hits too close to home brings out the feels. Oh and Rory’s going to Yale!

5) The Fundamental Things Apply (4x05) Luke and Lorelai’s first movie night. I love how Lorelai teases Luke about not having watched many movies and not knowing what the FBI warning is. It’s so fun to watch. I love how comfortable they both look while they sit and watch Casablanca. Luke helping Rory out with her awkward date is cute, and a little Dad moment which fuels my ‘Luke has always been a father figure to Rory’ feels. The best moment is when Luke is sleeping on their couch and Rory says, ‘He looks comfy there, doesn’t he?’ and Lorelai looks like she doesn’t want to think about how comfy Luke looks because she doesn’t want to admit how much she likes seeing him there. And I’m definitely reading way too into that look but it makes me happy so it counts. 

6) The Incredible Sinking Lorelais (4x14) The proud and happy smile on Lorelai’s face when she’s looking at the gum wrapper with the Dragonfly’s first reservation makes it worth watching this episode. She’s adorable and I’m so proud of her. Lorelai wearing her Bon Jovi hat and Luke commenting on it is fun. The best part about this episode has to be, as Lorelai puts it ‘the meltdown in the park’ moment. Lauren Graham is so good at emotional scenes (and pretty much everything this woman does) that it always hits me when Lorelai is breaking down. Of course I love the fact Luke instantly knows something is wrong when he sees her and he’s there to comfort and support her. 

7) Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out (6x8) Lorelai jonesing for her colours is super fun and cute. Colin and Finn are funny when they’re drunk. ‘I’ve forgotten how to get into a car,’ always cracks me up. Then he appears. The man of the hour. Yes, Jess Mariano. It’s nice to have Jess back for this episode. I alway forget how much I love his interactions with Rory until I watch them again. I’m super proud of all he’s done and seeing him come back, showing his book to Rory and telling her that he couldn’t have done it without her is such a beautiful moment. Probable one of my favorite between the two. And of course seeing Jess questioning Rory and being able to wake her up and make her realise that she’s not acting like herself is the best. All that said, the part which I just love is when Paul Anka gets sick and Lorelai is in Rory’s room watching him sleep. Once again Lauren is just incredible and makes my heart hurt at hearing Lorelai say she's a bad mother. Luke being there to comfort her is an added bonus, especially the way he touches her hair to comfort her. 

8) Santa’s Secret Stuff (7x11) I know what you’re thinking, how is a season 7 episode where Lorelai and Chris are still together on my most rewatchable list? Well let me tell you why. I love getting to hear about Lorelai and Rory’s Christmas traditions, such as how they put green and red M&M’s in their cereals on Christmas day (which I did last year and let me tell you it be yummy) and getting to see the girls go through those traditions is nice. Gigi isn’t my favorite character (honestly have no opinion on the kid) but she’s adorable when she copies Lorelai as she says ‘The redcoats are coming.’ The fact Lorelai doesn’t think twice about helping Luke with the character reference warms my heart to no end and is just super cute. Talking about cute, Luke and April! These cuties! Always love any Papa Luke moment. Luke being a Dad is so cute to watch and I love April (just hate what the writers did with her storyline in season 6 but that’s a rant for another day). Love that she’s 60% atheist and 40% agnostic. This girl is so quirky and I’m so here for it. What makes this episode one of my most rewatchable episodes is that scene between the girls and Luke and April when they’re all out shopping. This scene is amazing because it shows how much Luke cares for Rory. He’s always cared about her and throughout the years has always given her gifts for her birthday and holidays and maybe they weren’t the best gifts, but the love is what counts especially since Luke finds going out to buy presents such a daunting task. It just makes me happy seeing how much Rory means to him. What makes me love this scene is the smile and just the look on Lorelai’s face. If that look doesn’t show how much she loves and admires Luke then I clearly need new glass. (side note: I actually do need new glasses but that’s besides the point lol) 

9) I’d Rather Be In Philadelphia (7x13) This episode just really shows how great Luke is. The fact the moment he finds out about Richard being at the hospital he just had to go and see if everyone is okay, to see if Lorelai is okay is next level cute and just reminds me why Luke is always going to be the better man. Yes, he has issues and has dealt with somethings in ways that I just want to punch him so hard his hat starts spinning like Daffy Duck's beak, but he’s always there for his girls even when he’s not with Lorelai which just further shows how much he cares and is generally such a great guy. I love that Luke let’s Emily give him chores to do and that it kinda feels like he’s part of the family because he’s helping out, but then I remember he’s not and that hurts. I love that he comes back with food and a fish bag. He’s a cutie. Love that Lorelai is happy to see him. Logan is there for Rory which is nice to see. It’s interesting to see how everyone deals with Richard being in the hospital this time around compared to in Season 1, mostly Emily. All her moments especially when she has a little breakdown in front of Lorelai, and then her talk with Richard hurts to watch but in a really good way.

10) It’s Just Like Riding a Bike (7x19) Lorelai’s dress at the start of this episode is the only reason I rewatch this episode endlessly. Ah well that and some other things too, I guess but mostly the dress. When Lorelai calls Sookie, that whole scene I personally feel like it presents a parent having to deal with sick children so well. Sookie’s place being a mess, her sniffing what I’m hoping is milk from the kid’s bottle and using it for her coffee, and also picking a lollipop from the tablecloth is really how life looks like for a parent just in general, let alone when their kids are sick. So it’s refreshing seeing this being presented in a realistic way. Luke and Lorelai car shopping is awkward but I love every moment of it, especially when Luke starts ranting and then they starts bickering. The smile on Lorelai’s face. Lord take the wheel because my heart can’t deal with the cuteness. The smile screams ‘I have him back’ to me and I love how happy she is about that. Luke doing everything in his power to make Lorelai be able to have her old car is just sweet, and have I forgotten to mention that this guy is just the best? I love it. 

Okay, I’m finally done and the fact you’ve gotten to the end of this is amazing. It was hard to narrow it down to just these because there are a lot of episodes I love and rewatch often, like a bunch from season 4 and 5 but these just happen to be the ones I go to when wanting to rewatch an episode. It really only occured to me once I was done that I have no season 5 episodes on this list and more season 7 ones which I’m not even sure why that’s the case but it is. They Shoot Gilmores and The Lorelais' First Day at Yale is definitely episodes I watch often, especially because they both have cute moments: ‘Another kid might be nice’ and 'Rory says thanks for everything, too,’ are some. Thanks again for the ask, It was a fun distraction. 💕

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 135

1. The M9 eventually find a way to catch up with Lucien and Cree before they are able to go to the astral sea and at least start the combat (Bonus: Cree gets a wild magic effect that gives M9 some advantage or laughs).

Doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen. Well, I’m still personally REALLY happy that they all decided to explore a little bit much and ended up with combat lol. I love the heavy lore dump, reveals, map and the Aeorian nullifier/others combat, all part of the D&D fun.

2. Caleb and Beau somehow don’t get any extra eyes from their dreams (look, let me have some hope alright, last episode was kinda open-ended).

Noooo not on the clavicle and the palm... These stupid eyes are the reason why the empire siblings rolled bad rolls first thing in the morning, I’m telling you.

3. People on watch in the dome have some one-on-one conversations (Yasha and Fjord are doing the first watch, looking forward to it, also hoping for whoever on the second watch to talk).

Nope :( I’m a bit sad that they just kind of time skipped to the morning but it’s understandable.

4. If the empire siblings do get eyes can we at least have a morning eye check routine and Essek’s reaction to it? (Bonus: Essek examines the eye and offers help in some way)

I mean, we got part of a nice conversation about the eye so that counts as a reaction right. Essek is very wary about it, understandably. Don’t worry Essek, Fjord will take care of it if the eyes turn them evil. 

5. More wild magic effects from casting in Aeor! Jester, Essek, Caleb, Caduceus, Veth and Fjord I’m looking at y’all. (Bonus: the effects are harmless and fun ones, like Bjald)

OH NO CALEB not first thing in the morning... wow never mind it’s a nice nostalgic smell! Apple tart, how awesome. I mean a lot of people used higher level magic and didn’t roll yet (or maybe they did we just don’t know)? This particular effect was harmless and fun tho. 

6. They explore the Aeorian ruins even more along the way and discover cool relics/labs/history and lore (Bonus: clues related to the Eyes of Nine).

Ayyy genesis ward looks like a fun place, thanks to their high investigation rolls we found so much sweet lore. They also went into underground city ruins and basically wizard paradise lol. AND A BOOK ON THE SOMNOVEM! This is the first clue we have found so far. Also, Factorum Mollis project/Creator Hammer? Athodan’s rejuvenation/dunamancy? The plot thickens. THEY FOUND WHERE THEY NEED TO GO! B9!

7. Beau and Yasha have fun with some shameless PDA OR alternatively they get some super private time (bonus: cuddles in the dome).

I love their morning flirting. “That was amazing babe”, “Jump I’ll catch you!”, “Come here baby”, that’s some shameless PDA right there we love to see it. ALSO, Marisha said “we are doing PDA it’s a thing” and I feel so validated right now.

8. Jester and Fjord heal each other at least one time OR have a deep conversation (bonus: Jester complimenting Bjald).

They didn’t heal each other/converse BUT they had some nice moments! Fjord holds Jester’s ankles and waist at her request, how cute!

9. Continuing to hope for Essek’s fancy dunamantic spells OR magical items (I just love his style and flair okay).

OG Fortune’s Favour!! Thanks Essek. Identifying the keycard was also helpful. Essek giving Veth a pearl and telling her to aim it was so funny lol. LEVEL 4 LIGHTNING BOLT? What spell/item is that? Wow Essk is well-equipped.

10. They talk seriously OR laugh together about Bjald/smooth Fjord (Bonus: Veth disses Bjald just because) but Fjord eventually gets his hair back.

Wow straight out of the gate lol, Veth doesn’t wait (they are seriously expending spell slots for this). Also Veth cannot stop trying to grab his illusory hair. She also tells Devexian that Fjord is not a robot despite him not having hair I can’t even- Also, rejuvenation tube gave Bjald hair back and a long rest, great! 

11. Continuing to hope for Caleb to polymorph into anything really, or using polymorph on any party member (polymorph! Caleb interactions my beloved).

Sparrow! Caleb my beloved! “I’m adorable” indeed, he totally is adorable. Landing on Jester, Fjord and Charlie must have been fun.

12. More moments of Essek’s trust issue (OR changes in his opinion) with Charlie and more moments of Charlie being helpful to the party.

Charlie was a very competent translator! Also, Essek does continue to have a lot of trust issues. 

13. Jester and Charlie cute interactions OR Veth and Charlie interactions (Bonus: They reach the genesis ward to fix Charlie).

Charlie stopped listening when Jester asked him to, how cute! Veth also advocated for Charlie’s repair because she is already 100% attached - and they did fix Charlie I MEAN DEVEXIAN. Veth’s flirting with Devexian is... kinda cute? I guess?? Not sure how Devexian feels about it lol.

14. Cad attempting to speak with the dead on the remaining TT members (there is still Otis and Zoran right) and learning some useful information.

Well, speak with the dead was cast on the dead Aeorian warrior and some useful information was learned about the rejuvenation chamber I’d say. It was not cast on the TT members though. 

15. Caleb casting fire spell challenge! I miss his signature fire magic that we have not seen in a long time, actually (Bonus: Essek is impressed).

Well fire bolt is a fire spell and actually does decent damage for a fire bolt.

16. Cad has a particularly badass moment in or out of combat (bonus: divine intervention success).

HOLY THAT BANISHMENT WAS SO BADASS, also that canceled nat 20 on Yasha. Wow Cad continues to be cool in battles, he is such a MVP!!

17. Veth has a particularly badass moment in or out of combat (bonus: HDYWTDT).

I mean all Veth’s sneak attacks are badass in my book.

18. The wizards nerd out about/investigate Aeorian magic together OR have another conversation (look, I love how they talk to each other okay).

WOW both happened! Essek stayed behind with Caleb in the record room and had a conversation to keep him on track. Right after, Caleb also reminded Essek of the same thing. Once again, I love how they talk to each other. Their dynamic is so fascinating. They also nerd out about/found dunamis (and a literal beacon piece) together in that chamber! That would make sense, time magic = rejuvenation and all that.

19. I know this is highly unlikely but I still kinda want to see the tower again with Essek getting a full tour! I want to see his room decor.

Nope, as expected lol. I don���t think we will see the tower until they deal with Lucien? We will see though, you never know.

20. We find out what exactly Capeleb/Caleb saw when Jester was casting commune/scry (it’s totally something Artagan-related, but what though?).

Nope, but it’s fine. It’s probably not urgent, otherwise Caleb would mention it.

21. Yasha pushes another red button and Beau enabling her out of love.

Yasha went “do it” as Fjord went in the tube lol so she was more of an enabler.

22. You know the drill by now - everyone remains relatively happy and alive by the end of the episode except Lucien and Cree (they can perish), and the episode ends on a terrifying cliffhanger as always.

Wow that episode was PACKED with so much information, I can’t even digest it all. Anyways, the score this time is  14/22, which is not bad at all. 

Bonus: 

Caleb shared half of his pearls with Essek! Also, wow that IS a beacon that they just found. The 3 magic users showboating each other at the end I can’t lmao I love them.

I just love all the noises of the Aeorian Nullifier, thank you Matt.

Jester, for that wand of smiles move, I love you even more (also she was the only one who actually tried to keep the party on task lol).

This episode will certainly need some re-watching to process all the information... but wow what an experience! Loving everything, as always. I cannot wait for next Thursday!

[cancerbiophd]

Hey! I’m sure this is a question you get asked a lot but how did you decide that a PhD was for you? I’m about to enter the last year of my undergrad and have really enjoyed the lab work I’ve done previously but it feels like a rather large commitment when I’m not 100% sure I’m going to end up in research at the end of it. I was just wondering how you knew it was what you wanted to do!

Hello!

I actually have never been asked that question before, which was surprising for me too. I get a lot of “how did you know lab research was right for you”, but never specifically about how I knew a PhD was right for me (or maybe I did and I just didn’t answer it well), so I’m really glad you asked!

As you said, it really does come down to answering yes to both these statements: 

The career path I want is best accomplished with a PhD

I am willing to commit to the challenging journey of 5-6 years of grad school (+1-3 years of being a post-doc, if applicable to your field)

So here are the reasons how I knew getting a PhD was the best past for me:

I loved research. And I loved research beyond just doing benchwork--I loved the brainstorming, the experimental design, the analyzing of results, the troubleshooting of the unexpected, the dissecting of both broad and fine details as you solve a puzzle, the moment when you realize you just discovered something no one else has ever seen before, and communicating those exciting results. I was infatuated. When I was working as a lab tech in a cancer research lab after undergrad there were nights where I couldn’t sleep because my brain just would not stop brainstorming new ideas and questions about my research. I told that to a current grad student in the lab at the time and he was like “You know what that means? You have the mind of a grad student.”

And I wanted to broaden my skillsets. I could do a few techniques really well, but I really wanted to learn more, and I also wanted to learn more about those techniques--why do this, and not an alternative? What would happen if we tried this? I wanted to explore more. 

Going off of that, I wanted to keep learning. And not just looking up wikipedia articles by myself; I wanted formal training (because I had no idea what I needed to learn). And I’ve always been good at learning in a classroom setting so I knew I would excel at that part in grad school. 

It would lead me to the career path I wanted, which was to work at a biotech company as a leader of a research team and then become a consultant. True, a PhD is not required for that in many cases, but a PhD would better prepare me for those roles

I enjoyed writing and orally communicating about my research. PhD’s do metric ton of writing (grants, papers, reports, etc) and oral presentations (conferences, meetings, collaborations, etc). And I really enjoyed (and was good at) all that. 

I wanted to be in a position where I could lead and mentor. As someone with the highest degree in the room, institutions look to the PhDs for direction. So PhDs will become leaders--whether it’s a lab of their own in academia, or a team in an industry setting, etc. Even grad students have undergrads, or have to TA. And I was ready for, and wanted, all that. 

I was good at wearing a lot of hats. PhDs don’t just do a singular task; during grad school we learn to be versatile (you have to be in an academic lab setting), and that versatility carries through later as we become excellent multitaskers and are good at adapting to new challenges. And as someone who has always successfully juggled school and work and multiple extracurriculars, and had experience being a rockin lab manager (in the lab I worked in after undergrad), I knew I was up to it. 

I loved working by myself but I also loved working as a team--and that’s a necessity for research in general, even for non-PhDs, but PhDs are more likely to have to excel at both. 

I was mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially ready for the challenges and commitment of 5-6 years of grad school (plus 1-3 years of being a post-doctoral fellow, if applicable). Grad school is tough as balls, and you have to be just as tough, or at least have the resources to help you. I took a gap year of 2.5 years after undergrad to a) figure out what the heck I wanted to do/get research experience and b) mature to the point where I could be ready for something like grad school. I feel that working as a full-time lab tech really allowed me to immerse myself into the closest setting of a grad student in my field as possible. Being there 40 hrs/week really is different than when you’re an undergrad researcher popping in for 2 hours/day. I also took a grad-level class to see if I could mentally balance class and research. I know that’s obviously not an option available to everyone (nor is it necessary), but that’s just how I knew that every part of me could handle the rigors of grad school. 

Going off of that, I had a lot of grit and discipline. Sometimes that’s all you have left to get you through the day in grad school when everything else feels depleted. Grad students do a lot of things they’re not motivated to do, but we gotta get it done anyway, and sometimes grit is all we have to make our limbs move. 

PhD holders and PhD students at the time were telling me I’d be great at pursuing one. They know better than anyone what it takes, and they knew I was ready. 

Also dang, I’d be lying if I said money didn’t play a role in it. I graduated college in 2011 during the grand ol recession, and the job market stunk. I saw that options for biology majors were slim to none (I was extremely lucky to have found my lab tech job), so I knew I had to either wait it out until the job market bounced back, or make myself a more attractive candidate for the workforce, or both! (Let’s not talk about the economy during Covid lol). Also, the thought of making over 100k with a PhD was attractive. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, but money does buy happiness, because money buys food and a roof over your head and warm clothes and healthcare and hobbies so uh, yeah, I did get the highest degree possible partially for the money. 

So why not a Masters? That’s a good question!! And the truth is: I didn’t know I could accomplish most of what I wanted with a Masters. And that was my fault for not doing my own research, but I think I was just.. surrounded by PhDs (both in my academic lab setting and in my family) and the thought of doing a Masters never really occurred to me. Also, idk, I knew in my heart and in my bones I wanted a PhD, so I’m not sure if I would be happy with a Masters. 

Lastly, because this list is personal to me, getting a PhD would get me off my mom’s shit-list and end her endless emotional abuse towards me being worthless, etc. Long story, but yeah, it did factor into it as kind of a bonus point. 

So thar’s my spiel.  

One last thing I want to add: though continuing research is the most common career path for PhD holders, it’s not the only one. Here’s what else is available for PhDs (from the book Career Opportunities in Biotechnology and Drug Development by Toby Freedman)

If the image is hard to see, there are 4-ish main branches, and then some sub-branches (and even more specialized sub-branches that aren’t labeled):

R&D: Discovery research, preclinical research, bio/pharmaceutical product development, project management, clinical development, regularly affairs, medical affairs

Services: Recruiting, law, venture capital & banking, management consulting

Operations: Bio IT, quality, operations

Commercial Operations: Business development, corporate communications, product support, sales, marketing

And that’s just in the industry sector--academia, government, and non-academia/non-govt research institutions are also obviously available as career choices, though those would focus more on R&D (and also teaching). 

You obviously don’t need to know the specifics of your career path before committing to grad school, but I think you should have a general idea that what you want to do would best be accomplished with a PhD. 

If you’re still on the fence, I would advise:

Talking to more grad students or degree holders--both PhD and Masters (our Gradblr Discord is great for that!)--to paint a bigger picture.

Informational interviews are also great, especially if you’re interested in learning more about those career paths above. 

You can also explore the field a bit more in-person by starting off with a Masters (less time commitment than a PhD, though more expensive), or an entry-level research job like I did. 

Best of luck! 

[babbushka]

zannah! i’m a video editor, and there’s an opportunity to PA on a film set in my city but i’ve never written a resume as someone in the film industry, just resumes for retail jobs. any tips? for reference i have one paid video editing job under my belt and i was published in an online magazine as a writer as well. thanks so much!

Hello my dear anon! Oh please don't worry about detailed resumes or not having enough experience or anything like that! PAs are an incredibly valuable part of any film set, and film sets tend to want a bunch of them to help the production run as smoothly as possible.

That being said, I do think it's fair I should tell you that PAs are an entry-level position, and often considered the lowest on the totem pole on set. So they're usually given tasks like picking up coffee, picking up actors from hotel/airport, delivering paperwork between higher ups, shuttling equipment around the set, and generally do whatever a higher up needs them to do (one of my first PA set job ever was winding up electrical cables lol), and for someone with little film industry experience, that's a good thing!

PAs need to be adaptable, reliable, responsible, good listeners/take direction well, team players, work well under pressure, should be comfortable answering phones and using office equipment if needed (like fax and copiers), and of course knowing how to drive/having your own car is a big bonus. All of these things can be gained from experiences you already have!

If the position requires a resume (that's not something I'm personally familiar with but I know each set is different!), I would really play up those strengths that I just mentioned. You can include your previous retail and video editing experience as a way to even further communicate those skills and traits, but because this isn't a specialized position, the Production Coordinator is going to look for people who are willing to show up (and make sure you show up early!!) and get the job done.

Being a PA is tough work but it's an absolutely amazing experience and I hope that you go for it!! Sending you love :)

[latraviesascott]

11, 15, 17 and while I'm here I need to tell you that your vibes are amazing and I love your blog vv much <3

bro🥺.... we're besties now, ok? pretend i just gave you a hug<3! tysm *bro hug*

anyway to actually answer the questions lol

11. If you were a dragon, what would you look like?

oh dude this is something id never even thought of before, but okok. so first off I'd like to be a black dragon. but like my scales look purplish in the sunlight, you know? I'd also have a scar somewhere on my face from an epic battle with another dragon over dragon eggs. my fire would be be blue for sure. and i could also summon lightning, so each time i roared I'd also sound like deafening thunder. and also whenever i do summon lightning, there's a violent storm too, and then when the battle ends the storm will too, and there will always be a double rainbow in the sky just for the dramatic gay effect cus you'll never catch me out here being a straight dragon🙄✋🏾.

15. Roller skates or rollerblades or ice skates?

if this question refers to which one i know how to operate, then neither lmaooo. I'm a skateboard person. but i do think ice skates are super cool tho. specially when people ice skate at a professional level. i think it looks so elegant and beautiful. so yeah I'd have to go with ice skates:)

17. What would your superpower be? How would you use it?

ok so look i do this thing where i take a concept in my brain and turn it into a whole ass manga concept and recently i have been stuck on this one concept (which idk if this has been done before lmaooo but let me pretend im original ok?!!): so like imagine you are a passionate marine biologist who feels like you're the only one who truly cares for the future of the environment. and one day you wake up very sick, like one foot in the grave sick. and it turns out you were tasked with restoring/protecting/keeping balance on earth and all the creatures in it including all ecosystems etc. you woke up sick because the catch is that your health is a reflection of the state of the earth and obviously rn in real life, things aren't good for mother nature. so you go on a mission to save the world and stuff, and you have ALL the insanely strong powers that mother nature has to offer (hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.) and you are immensely set and optimistic about finally having the power to change things. thats is until the things you swore to help and never harm (humans) are the biggest threat to your goal. will you accept the horrible task of eliminating everything that threatens earth?........so yeah that's the superpower I'd choose and what I'd do with it. (bonus points if i get to meet the woman of my dreams in the process ah ha ha)