#// and he never ever forgave her instead he cursed her

[pr4yerp0sition]

     To be fair the only other OC's on the roster who do not pop up much are Gojo Itsuki && Kobayashi Hatsuko. Hatsuko on the basis she is an incredibly difficult woman who mostly spends her time managing the clan's business. She is deemed Lady of the Golden Coin due to her unfathomable nature of bringing riches with ease. She, is Fushiguro or Mamaguro as the fandom knows her. Though, her clever disguise of black hair && green eyes was merely a mask as her inherited technique is to steal the face of another. As Oiran, she does not task herself with anyone she deems lower in her opinion, the loss of Toji then her only child also completely ruined her, she prefers to not engage in those memories.      Itsuki is a formidable man that spends his time treating the sick && injured of his own clan. He is considered the anchor of the Gojo Clan, hence his name, along with moniker as the great towering willow tree. His pride tends to be his crux, the rest of the noble families admit, his hubris is evident when he walks, speaks, or moves. He is acutely aware the Heaven's have blessed them though he alone sired the Six Eyes, thus, making him an important fixture in his family where his ranking was rare && strange as males were considered an anomaly. He is heavily tied in with my own Gojo (@kuraokcmi) acting as a divine attendant rather than a father figure. In lament terms, he is a doctor, others may secure treatment by him though it is exceptionally rare, difficult, while highly expensive - you will survive, perhaps, even be brought back better than before.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 21: Try to Understand

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty one of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 7.5K

Warnings: I'm gonna go 18+, I'm not sure that it needs it, but I'm still gonna do it. Angst, Talks of pregnancy, Talks of possible abortion, Cursing, Fluff, Sexual References, Graphic Nightmare?, FLUFF, Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situations, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Soldier Boy POV

After his shower, you still haven't come back from talking to Rosemary, and Ben decides that instead of eavesdropping on your conversation, he's going to go to the kitchen and get a drink. He knows exactly where Legend hides the good shit, mostly because Legend hid it to keep it away from Ben in the first place. And despite it happening forty years ago, nothing in Legend's house had changed. Ben had many memories of this house, at least two Herogasms had been hosted here, hell, Ben had memories in the room you two were sharing, but he kept them to himself.

The last thing he wanted was for you to think about any of the things that happened in the past, not when you had told him that he had made it up to you, not when you had held him close after all these years and whispered things to him that he always wanted you to say, and not when he was more happy than he'd ever been.

You said that you forgave him, Ben understood that, but that didn't mean he was going to stop making it up to you every day and it didn't mean that he was going to stop making you happy, because after all these years you were still the only thing he wanted, and he refused to lose you ever again.

He glances at the empty bottle on the nightstand, the one that you brought with you last night and the same bottle the two of you finished together.

He was surprised when you said you stopped drinking, but not completely. You'd only drunk socially as a supe, and Ben hadn't seen you drunk since the two of you were kids. He knew it was because you didn't want to lose control like he did.

Ben stutters on the memory of what happened in Mid-town, and what happened forty years ago when he threw a car through a house and killed an innocent bystander. Ben didn't believe he was a bad guy, he was a hero or- the memories of all the moments he lost control began to seep though the cracks- at least he thought he was.

His mind drifts back to you. You were always in control. The one time he'd ever seen you lose control was when you lost it at the premiere all those years ago. It was justified. Ben would have lost it too if he walked in on anyone fucking you. His jaw clenches at the thought, but then he remembers what you said last night, that there hadn't been anyone else, that you never wanted anyone else but him ever. It was surprising to him, that you hadn't moved on, even after all this time you still loved him the same way you always had and that there would never be anyone else.

Fuck. Ben took in a deep breath to avoid getting too excited remembering what you said, feeling warmth begin to build in his abdomen. It had been difficult to contain himself when you admitted that to him. If you had let him, he would have made love to you right then, made you feel things that no other man ever did, but you said you wanted to wait.

And Ben wanted to respect that, wanted to respect you.

He examines the empty bottle once more.

When you were younger he'd watch you get drunk on cheap beer that he bought you more than once, usually when you proclaimed that you could drink him under the table and then Ben had to practically corral you to get you home. Then again he liked those nights, when you'd try to sing, swing from light poles that lined the street, and you'd grab his hand and say crazy things like "let's run away" or "let's go egg Missy Callahan's house." Both of which Ben didn't need much more convincing to say yes, but the two of you never did.

He would have run away with you if you'd ever seriously asked him to, he would have dropped everything to leave, would have chosen you just as you chose him the night he showed up and asked you to go with him to get the serum. The promise he made to protect you and be strong for you the night you went with him was not new. He had repeated it to himself every day since the minute he realized how much you meant to him.

And he would continue to do it for the rest of his life.

Ben ascends the stairs, buttoning the Giants jersey that Butcher bought for him. He wasn't the biggest fan of them forty years ago, but it was one of the only shirts he had. And the last thing he wanted to do was walk around without a shirt on. Ben smiles to himself remembering your reaction when you walked in on him changing into his supe suit yesterday morning. He loved that you reacted to him that way, it was the same way that he reacted to seeing you yesterday when you were standing in your bathroom in only your bra, looking just as beautiful as you had forty years ago when he took you to bed and-

Fuck. Ben took in another deep breath finishing the last button to avoid thinking about you naked. It had been forty years for him and he knew that he was going to have to take it slow when it came to sex.

He stumbled into the kitchen and froze.

Lou was sitting at the square kitchen table that sat under a floor length window and looked out onto the sprawling backyard of Legend's property. Ben could see Rosemary and you talking at the very edge of where the grass met the thick woods beyond.

"Hi Ben!" Lou smiles wide at him. A giant box of crayons sits on the table just beyond her filled with every color known to man, while she scribbles in a sketchbook that looks suspiciously like the same ones that Ben had seen you buy for yourself in the past. "Do you know how to draw trees? Aunty y/n always does them for me, but she's talking to mommy."

"Um-" Ben clears his throat, fastening the last button of his shirt. Lou was smiling at him the same way you did, like she was genuinely happy that he was there, and he wasn't used to that. It was the same way you used to smile at him when he climbed through your bedroom window. He looks out the window to where you're still talking to Rosemary trying to find a way out, until finally he sighs. "No. I'm sorry."

"That's okay, mommy can't draw either." Lou looks back at her drawing while reaching for a brown crayon. She was wearing pink polka dot pajamas, pants and a shirt that matched. Ben had never seen pajamas like that before, but he supposed that pink was her favorite color, given that she was also wearing a pair of bright pink fuzzy slippers.

He couldn’t help but smile. He wondered if you hated how much Lou liked pink, if it reminded of those dresses your mother used to make you wear that always made you look like a giant iced birthday cake.

Personally, Ben didn’t think you looked that ridiculous, he thought that you looked cute, ruffly, but cute. You never believed him when he told you that.

Ben wandered over to the cabinet where he thought the whiskey was, but as soon as he opened it, he found the cabinet empty.

Did he fucking move it?

"It's under the sink." Lou said from behind him.

"What?" Ben turns around surprised.

Lou was still scribbling with her crayon in her sketchpad. "Uncle Legend came in and moved it this morning."

"Thanks." Ben awkwardly makes his way over to the sink, and sure enough behind the mop bucket is a full bottle of whiskey. He busies himself with pouring a glass before he eyes the chair next to Lou wondering if he should sit there.

Ben was nervous, he'd never admit it, but he was. This was his granddaughter, someone that you loved very much. He'd never been around a kid before, didn't have any siblings growing up, and certainly didn't have any relatives with children the way you had.

He liked to think that if he had been there when you were pregnant and when you gave birth to Rosemary he would have gotten used to it gradually. He wasn't sure if he could even be a dad, not after everything that happened with his own.

He was sure that he was going to be a disappointment to Rosemary and even to Lou and-

"Sit with me." Lou says, interrupting his train of thought as she gets off of her chair to pull out the one next to her for Ben tugging with all her strength to pull it out from under the table.

Ben hesitates, but finally smiles at her efforts to get him to sit with her and sits down.

An awkward silence falls over him, he's again unsure what to say, so he takes a sip from his glass and hopes that you'll come in and save him from saying the wrong thing, but given how upset you look standing outside with Rosemary, he's sure that it won't be anytime soon. The urge to go outside and get between Rosemary and you is strong, but just as he begins to move to get out of the chair, Lou interrupts him.

"You make her smile more." Lou says, while grabbing a red crayon with her chubby hand and begins to draw the petals of a flower in her sketchbook, meticulously trying to make them more circular, tongue between her teeth as she concentrates.

"Who?"

"Aunty y/n. She didn't smile as much before." She says it matter of factly.

"Really?"

Lou nods reaching into the box of crayons for a new color. "She tried to act like she wasn't sad, but I think she was. Sometimes when she thought I was asleep I would find her on the couch just sitting there. I think she was lonely. And I tried to give her bigger hugs but they never seem to work. Hugs always make me feel better." Lou sighs.

"I'm sure that your hugs made her feel better." Ben's says tightly. He's not sure how to talk to Lou, isn't sure if he should talk to her like an adult or not.

"I love aunty y/n. I want to be just like her when I grow up. I want to be an artist!"

Ben looks down at the sketchpad on the table beneath Lou’s hands. It was of a giant tree that had different colored flowers all squished together in its branches. Each flower was different than the last, crudely drawn, but under it all Ben could see her potential. It reminded him of the sketchbook pages you first showed him when you were eight and swore him to secrecy, threatening bodily harm if you told anyone else about them.

“You’re very good.” Ben says and Lou beams with pride at her drawing, before flipping to a new page. She holds out a brilliant yellow crayon towards Ben. “Please draw a sun right here.” She taps her finger against the top left of the page before placing the crayon in his hand.

“Oh I don’t think I-“

“You can do it Ben! Aunty y/n says that art doesn’t have to be perfect, that it gets messy sometimes but that makes it fun!” Rosie reaches for a purple crayon and begins to draw stick figures to the right of the page.

Ben had heard you say that before, usually after your mother would sneer or make a comment about your paint stained hands when he’d bring you home from a day at the park. But sitting here listening to Lou say it was different.

Lou reminded him of you as a kid. She wasn't afraid  to speak up, to say what she thought, and she was filled with creativity and love.

Ben always admired that about you, that you were able to create things so perfectly and that you always made space in your heart for him, even when he was a complete dick for so long. He wondered if Rosemary was like you too. He could see a bit of it when she told him off, saw how headstrong she was and how ready she was to protect who she loved from him.

Ben hated that Rosemary believed that he would hurt you again, when it all but tore his own heart out to do so the last time.

But he was trying, hoped that she could see that he was trying and hoped that one day she’d let him in. The problem was he wasn’t the most patient person in the world.

He looks down at the crayon in his hand frowning slightly. He wasn’t an artist like you. The only thing that he’d really ever drawn was the naughty doodle that got him kicked out of boarding school, the one that made you laugh so hard you pushed him off the bed when he drew it for you in your sketchbook. You’d tried to show him other ways of drawing and painting but he’d never been interested.

Not to mention he didn’t think it was manly. He didn’t think that a man should have a hobby like this. It should be fishing or hunting or something like that but he looks down at Lou.

Her eyes are shining bright with excitement, smile wide, dimples showing and he doesn’t want to disappoint her, not when she’s been nothing but nice to him since he showed up.

If Hughie or fucking Butcher come in here and see me drawing this fucking sun I’ll-

“You don’t look like your pictures.” Lou hums drawing a smile on the face of the stick figure.

“Huh?” Ben looks up confused.

“The pictures that mommy keeps in the drawer.” Lou says reaching for a black crayon to draw long flowing hair on the stick figure.

“What pictures?”

“Of you and aunty y/n. Mommy has some in her drawer.” Lou acts as if she hadn’t said anything, grabbing a different crayon to draw another stick figure.

“She has pictures of us?”

“Yeah. You don’t have the beard though. And you and aunty y/n are really young.” She pokes his cheek with a chubby finger, making Ben freeze. Lou squints her eyes at him. “You don’t look like the picture that aunty y/n drew either.”

Ben hesitates, eyes slightly widening. “She drew a picture of me?”

“Few days ago.” Lou scribbles. “You didn’t have a beard then either.”

In the new drawings and paintings that Ben had seen back at your apartment, he hadn’t seen any drawings of him, he assumed it was because of everything that happened, but to learn that you did still draw him made him smile.

“You don't like it?” Ben asks, amused.

She shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“Aunt y/n likes it.” He said it more to himself than to Lou. Like hell he was going to shave it off when he saw how much you liked it when he came back. Ben smiles to himself remembering how your heart beat jolted out of your chest whenever he touched you, how your cheeks flushed, how your smooth skin felt beneath his hands-

There were so many little things that Ben missed about you, so many things that he had forgotten, and now he got to learn each one all over again and fall in love with every part of you for the second time in his life.

The sun he drew in the top left of the page was lopsided, but Lou didn't complain, in fact she added a pair of sunglasses to it, and a bright smile that Ben laughed at.

"What are you two doing?" Ben hears your voice say as your hand gently rubs his back. Ben looks up embarrassed. He hadn't wanted to get caught with a crayon in his hand, but at least it had been you and not Butcher.

"We were just-" Ben begins to say, his eyes flicking to where Rosemary stands behind Lou eyes narrowed.

"Mommy look. Ben is helping me color!" Lou crows, picking up her drawing so Rosemary can see.

Ben realizes what Lou was drawing on the other side of the page. Lou has drawn Rosemary and you standing with Lou in between the two of you holding on to her hands. Ben's eyes slide to the last figure in the drawing, his chest suddenly very tight, it's him, standing beside you, frowning, but holding on to your hand.

Rosemary smiles tightly at the page with a sigh. "That's nice sweetie. Come on, let's get you dressed."

"But I like my pajamas."

"Do what your mother says Lou." You smile down at her, stroking her dark hair back from her face.

"Okay." She sighs dramatically and begins to walk out of the room, but Rosemary is still glaring at Ben.

"Rose-" You begin to say, but she interrupts you.

"She might be able to forgive you, but I'm not going to." Her eyes narrow. "I don't think you're good for her."

Ben is still sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, your hand solidly on his back as if you were making the statement that you weren't going to push him away. It solidified something, showed him how much you were willing to sacrifice to keep him in your life, and again enforced just how much you loved him. If Rosemary hadn't been standing there, he would have sat you on the marble countertop and sucked another mark into your neck. The one he left yesterday was already starting to fade and he wanted to replace it as soon as possible.

But he was still angry, angry that Rosemary wouldn't give him a chance. "Your mother means everything to me." Ben says honestly. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. All I'm asking is that you get to know me first before you-"

"I don't want to get to know you." Rosemary says. "And if you hurt my mother again, I’ll make you wish that you stayed in that fucking lab."

She's gone in an instant, making Ben feel a pain in his chest that he hadn't felt since he spoke to his own father decades ago, on those nights when his dad got so drunk that he couldn't stand up straight and the nights that his father's words rang heavy in Ben's ears. Those nights Ben would get drunk, climb up the tree outside your window, and stumble into your bed, curling into you because you were the only thing in his life that he couldn't stand to lose, couldn't stand to disappoint, and the only thing in his shitty life that made him happy.

"Ben-" He hears you say.

"Mhmm?"

"Look at me."

Ben looks up. He doesn't like the worry in your gaze, doesn't like how your own eyes are just a little rimmed red like you were crying.

"I love you." You whisper. "And she's not going to change that."

"Are you sure?" He barely breathes the words, afraid in his soul to admit them to you, to speak them into the universe.

You drop into his lap, putting your forearms on his shoulders.

"Ben." You drag your fingers through his hair, your touch soothing his anxiety. "You know me enough to know that I don't pull punches. If I didn't want you here, I would make sure you weren't." You press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. "I want you here with me. I don't want you to go ever again. "

They were the words that he wanted you to tell him on the nights he crawled through your bedroom window, the question that he was always afraid to ask. Because he never believed that you could want him even a fraction as much as he wanted you, could love him and want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with you. And yet here you were after all these years after all the shitty things he did accepting him and letting him into your heart.

“Okay.” He leans his forehead against yours for a minute. “What did you talk about?”

“Homelander. And what happened yesterday.” You sigh. “She’s about as thrilled as I thought she’d be with us going after our old team. She was pissed when I told her about Countess the other day but this was worse.” You mutter holding on tight to him. “She’ll get over it. At least… I hope she will.”

“Mhmm.”

“I will say that I’m kind of jealous.”

“About?” Ben is suddenly worried.

What did I do? Did I-

“Every time I tried to get you to draw with me you said no.” Ben watches you frown dramatically. “And here you are with another woman-“

Ben rolls his eyes and shuts you up by closing the distance between your faces. You laugh into his mouth, his tongue finding the rigid edge of your front teeth as you do before you fit your mouth against his and kiss him, your soft lips molding against his in a way that makes a deep seated groan vibrate up through his chest.

“You try saying no to her.” Ben mutters.

“It’s impossible.” You open your eyes to stare at him again, your gaze filled with more love than Ben had ever seen. He’d never seen anyone look at him like that before, none of the other women he’d had in his life had ever looked at him the way you did. And he never wanted you to stop. You looked at him like he was special, treasured, like he was something that you never wanted to stop looking at, like you saw every part of him and refused to turn away.

He'd only seen that once before. He had taken a woman out for drinks, you had been doing an interview that ran late and Ben was trying to pass the time, but at the bar he had seen an older couple sitting in a booth in the corner. Ben couldn't look away from them. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, the man's arm draped over the woman who leaned into him with a wide smile, her gray hair pushed back in an elegant twist, but she looked up at him with such reverence that Ben couldn't help but think of you. When he saw that he left the woman he came with there and went to your apartment, to wait until you got back. And when you had fallen asleep Ben had folded you into his arms and allowed himself to dream that one day you would look at him the same way.

And now years later here you were looking at him as if he was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, the same way you looked at him the morning after your birthday when you told him you loved him.

"But I did tell you that once Lou drew you into the family portrait, you were in." You reach back to pick up the drawing holding it between the two of you so he can see Lou's hard work. "She really captured your frown." You snort, leaning your head against his shoulder while you look at the drawing.

"Shut up." Ben squeezes you, but he can't help but smile at the paper.

And deep down Ben started to believe you when you said that this was his family too, because sitting there with Lou he had felt just as at home as he had with you.

All he had to do was convince Rosemary.

[30 MINUTES AGO] READER POV

I can't believe that she walked in on us IN BED. She's already pissed about me having him here, but why did her finding us together feel like the equivalent of my mother walking in on Ben and me?

You follow behind Rosemary silently, trying not to think of how sad Ben looked when you left him. You would have wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, curled up beside him and make him understand that no matter how much Rosemary wanted you to push him away, you weren't going to leave him.

You could see the fear flashing in his eyes, had seen it last night when he yelled at you. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you knew that Ben was still afraid that you would leave him. And knowing how much you meant to him made you love him even more.

It was a beautiful day. Legend's home was the only one within ten miles, his money well spent to keep himself secluded from the rest of the world. The large trees at the back of his home were tall and strong, their branches curling upward  to the sun as if they wished to worship it.

The sunlight was warm on your shoulders, soaking through your t-shirt and sweat pants as you follow behind your daughter, who was obviously trying to get out of earshot of Ben's supe hearing. You didn't want to break it to her that you'd probably have to drive at least a mile away for Ben's hearing to get a little bit fuzzy.

Finally, just as you reach the crest of trees at the back of the lot she stops and turns back to face you.

She's frowning and waits a minute to begin. "I want you to tell me what happened."

"I did-"

"No. You didn't tell me everything and I want to know exactly  what happened and why you had to fight Homelander."

You bite the inside of your cheek.

There really wasn't an easy way to sugar coat it or really explain it in a way that Rosemary would understand without getting angry.

She almost went ballistic the other day when I told her that I killed Countess and that was a complete accident. Us going after the Twins was not. Us going after the twins was calculated.

"Okay. Before we talk about that, I want you to understand why-"

"Oh you mean why you and Ben-" She seethes his name. "Were going after your old team? The exact thing that you told me you weren't going to do when you came to tell me about Countess?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She leans back against one of the trees, still frowning. "Go on."

"Ben told me what happened in Nicaragua. What Countess said was true, she seduced him to make me angry." You hold up a hand. "And before you say that Ben said those things to me and did those things of his own free will. I know."

Rosemary still doesn't look pleased.

"They betrayed him in Nicaragua. They attacked him and gave him to the Russian military."

"But why?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. I think it's because Ben used to be wild and impulsive and-"

"Used to be?"

"Just listen." You sigh. "He spent forty years in Russia being tortured and experimented on. They put something in his chest-"

"What did they put in his chest?"

"It's like an energy beam." You were giving her the short version about what the beam really did, because you didn't think that now was the best time to say that it might turn supes human. "But that's why we went to see the Twins, because they betrayed him and when Homelander showed up I had to step in."

Rosemary pinches the bridge of her nose and you can tell that she's trying very hard to not get angry. "So let me get this straight, you went to see the Twins, AS SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP REVENGE FANTASY?"

"Well-"

"No. My turn to talk." She holds up a finger like she's admonishing a toddler. "I can't believe that you can't see what's happening."

"See what?"

"You told me that things were different, that he'd changed but he hasn't! He's still the same angry dick! The only person that's changed is you!"

"What?"

"And you don't fucking see it!" Rosemary shouts. "You facing Homelander, you killing Countess, you going after your old team- it's all him! As soon as you got a whiff of Soldier Boy you started to slip back into the person that you were forty fucking years ago."

"That is ridiculous-"

"No it's not. And it's all him. He is the one making you throw the life away that you have made for yourself. He is the one making you use your powers again! He is the one making you go along with his ridiculous revenge plot-"

"Ben is not making me do anything!"

"He is-"

"You have no idea what that's like for people who say that they're your friends betray you. To have people who you thought trusted you give you up like that. They stabbed him in the back Rosie, and they sent him away to another country to be tortured. Do you have any idea what they did to him there? Our old team deserves everything that is coming to them."

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"I am still the same person I was. I am still me."

"No I don't think you are-"

Your jaw tightens. "Look, I understand that you're upset with this whole situation. With having to be here and with me letting Ben back into my life, but he is my family too."

She bristles when you say the word 'family.'

She has to understand that, to know that Ben is my family, is her family.

"Rosemary, do you have any idea what I would do for you if someone tried to hurt you or Lou the way they hurt Ben? What I would do to them for even trying?" You whisper it, but you can see her expression soften as she considers what you were saying. "You were angry with me because I was going to go to Russia alone. You wanted to protect me. And even all this stuff with Ben, you have been trying to protect me from him because you believe that he's going to hurt me again. How is this any different?"

“It is.”

“Why? Because he’s hurt me?” Your eyes lock with hers. “I’ve hurt you by letting him back in my life. Are you saying that now you wouldn’t protect me? That if I asked you to go with me to Russia right now you wouldn't do it.”

She stands there looking at you for a minute, letting what you've asked hang in the air between the two of you. And you know that deep down she understands the need to protect her family the same way you did.

"No. That's not what I'm saying. You depend so much on him and it's only been three days." She sighs. "Mom you were happy before-“

"No I wasn't." You mutter.

The memories of the last three days with Ben proved that. You hadn't realized just how in the hole you were until he walked back into your life. Until you felt how much you loved him and now understood how much he loved you. Waking up with him, falling asleep with him, spending time with him, seeing his smile, hearing him speak, and feeling him beside you all felt different. She was right, you did feel different. You felt lighter and warmer, like you'd mainlined sunshine, like everything else had been colorless until Ben walked back in.

You understood that now you may have tried to be happy, and you were with Rosemary and Lou, but not anywhere else. Being with Ben felt right.

Rosemary eyes you for a minute and then finally sighs.  "I know."

"What?" You weren't expecting her to say that.

"He's been here only three days and you're-" She searches for the word reluctantly. "You're glowing."

"Huh?"

"My entire life I've watched you. I know you. You're my best friend. And I'm not saying that you haven't been happy, but with him you're a different person."

"You've already said that and it's not true. I'm still me-"

"Not about the supe shit." She shakes her head. "The way you look at him, the way you smile, the way whenever he shifts in another direction you do too like somehow you sensed it. And it scares me."

"Why does that scare you?"

"Because if he decides this is all too much and he leaves, I don't want to see the person you become when he does." She frowns and crosses her arms over her chest. "I kinda feel like I've seen that person the last thirty nine years."

"That's ridiculous-"

"You told me about before, told me how you were when he left, I didn't see it, I couldn't imagine it, but now seeing you with him, understanding just how much of a hold he has on your life, understanding how much you love and care for him- mom… I see that the life you made for us, you still weren't you. I'm not sure if you were really completely happy and now seeing you with him, I-"

You place your hands on her cheeks. "Rosie. What happened forty years ago is not your fault. I would not change a single second that I spent with you and Lou. I do not regret the life that I've made with you. I do not regret you. I want you to understand that. The things that happened between me and Ben, even though they were fucked up, does not mean that I don't love you."

"I know that." She whispers, but you're suddenly unsure.

You thought that you'd expressed that to Rosemary enough over the years, that you did not regret having her, that you wouldn't change that decision.

"Rosie please." You hug her, tears burning just behind your eyes. "You are not a mistake. I love you." You pull back to look at her green eyes, the same as Ben's. "And I wouldn't change a single thing about my life. Because maybe I wasn't happy with me, but I was when I was with you and Lou."

"Okay." She pulls back with a sigh.

"I just wish that you'd try to talk to work things out with Ben." You search her face. You told yourself that you weren't going to get involved, but you wanted her to like him. He was her father and he was going to be spending time with you.

"Look I don't want to hate him, and maybe I don't, but it's not your fault." Her expression hardens. "He shouldn't have shouted at you yesterday for that. You didn't make me hate him or make him the villain. It's not your fault." She repeats.

"Maybe it is. I told you all those things about him, I made you focus only on the bad, only on the things that happened towards the end-"

Rosemary takes your hand. "Mom you told me everything. I remember the good things. I remember what your friendship was like. I remember the stories you told me when I was a kid about Ben and you running around Philadelphia."

"Which ones?"

"When he was strong for you when you couldn't be. When he took care of you, when he took you places, when he supported your art. When he made sure that you were happy. I-" She pauses.  "I haven't forgotten those."

"Then why-"

"Because they happened before. When Ben was still Ben and not Soldier Boy. I've seen every single film. Watched every interview, commercial, and even those stupid music videos." Rosemary shakes her head as if trying to rid herself of the image.

"You have?"

"Yes. And I saw the person he became."

You knew what that looked like. Ben really did go all out for the cameras when they were rolling, but when it was the two of you he was just him. And the past two days he had shown that person to you all over again, and you knew deep in your heart that you were trusting him again.

"I know that you don't believe me when I say this, but he really is different."

"Sure."

You sigh. You knew that she wouldn't believe you, that she was just so hell-bent on pushing him away that she wouldn't listen to you. But you knew deep down that he was different, and that he was trying. It was enough for you.

Ben was enough. And the fact that he was willing to throw away all the macho bullshit he had spouted in the past, that he was willing to try to change to be the boy you fell in love with, meant everything to you.

You knew that you had probably forgiven him too early, but you wanted to believe him, and you wanted him to be back in your life.

Rosemary echoes your sigh and looks back up towards the house, stamping her foot in frustration. "Did you at least kick his ass?"

"Who? Ben? I told you that I threw him-" You begin to say suddenly confused.

"No." The ends of her lips twitch into a smile. "Homelander."

You laugh. "Yeah. They don't really make heroes the same way these days."

"Good. He probably fucking liked it."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." You snort remembering the look he gave you when you threw him against the ground. "But it was kind of cathartic to throw him around. I feel a lot better. Maybe you should give it a try." You narrow your eyes at your daughter. "I mean Homelander not Ben."

Rosemary's lips pull into a mischievous smirk, looking more like Ben than she ever has. "I'll keep that in mind."

READER POV

Your heartbeat pounds in your ears, heart racing to catch up as you tug your arms to get them free, but leather restraints hold them in place at your sides. A cold chill seeps up through the metal table you lay on though the thin paper gown that covers your body. Brilliant light from fluorescent square lights above blinds you. And even when you shut them tight the flash of red that stays behind burns through your iris.

Shadows move just on the edge of your vision and you strain your ears to hear them speak, to understand why you're here, why you're strapped to this table, but the only thing that remains is a garbled sound broken only by the rapid ding of a heart monitor.

Where am I? How did I-

A sharp pain deep inside of you makes your breath catch, an uncomfortable sensation between your legs. You try to kick out, but your legs are strapped down, pried apart and bent at the knee. Your pleas for release are slurred as if you've forgotten how to speak.

Someone brings their hand down over your mouth and you bite down, blood and flesh sticking between your teeth and the person strikes your face savagely.

The shadows that pass over where you lay on your back are impossible to bring faces to and their muffled conversations are just out of reach.

And when you open your mouth to scream everything goes black.

"Y/n!" You hear Ben shout as you come to, his hands on your shoulders shaking you from sleep, but you can't move, can't speak still stuck in whatever hell-scape that your mind designed. "Please Sweetheart." He's leaning down over you, eyes wide with fear and anxiety, eyebrows pulled together. "Wake up."

"Ben-" You croak, breath coming in gasps, eyes blinking to focus on him above you.

Ben breathes out a sigh of relief, pulling you up into his arms and tucking your head beneath his chin.

"Ben." You say again, tears falling from your eyes sobs shaking your shoulders, breath coming in gasps as you cling to him, holding on to him so tight you think you hear his back crack.

“Shhh. It’s alright Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m right here.” Ben murmurs into the top of your head, rubbing his hand down your spine.

It wasn’t the first time you’d had the nightmare, but it was the first time you’d had it in forty years. It had started a few years before Ben had been taken. You don’t know why, but you always assumed that it was stress of being a hero or your heartache over Ben refusing to see you as more than a friend, that finally you cracked. But you didn't know why that particular scenario. The only time that you'd seen something remotely similar was the day that you received your injection of Compound V and you figured maybe your mind created the dream to haunt you.

And now it’s back because I’m stressed about all this shit with Homelander.

You inhale the familiar scent of Ben’s cologne, tears soaking into the front of his black shirt, but it does little to calm your heartbeat. You sob again, arms wrapped around his neck holding him tighter to you as you shudder.

“It’s alright. I’m right here.” Ben says again. His hand trails gently down your spine up and down in a soothing motion to calm you down.

He’d comforted you before after the same nightmare, he knew exactly what you saw each time, but he also was confused as to why you saw it. In his arms you felt safe, as if no one else could touch you or pull you away. You wondered if Ben felt the same way when you held him.

“Shh.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head, pushing back the strands of hair that clung to your sweaty forehead.

You shudder again, sweat sticking your shirt to your back, but your heartbeat begins to slow as you take in another breath.

“Same dream?” Ben whispers.

“Yeah.” You breathe. “I haven’t had it since you were-“ You choke on the words again as the images from what you saw come back. The mumbled voices of the figures fading in and out of your ears.

“Did you ever figure out what it was?”

“No. I-“ You inhale. “I don’t know. I-“

Your body shakes again as you cling to Ben, trying to forget the dream that never seemed to go away. “I don’t know.”

READER POV

In the days that followed Butcher and Hughie looked for Mindstorm's last known location, and Rosemary tried to stay as far away from Ben as she could, which wasn't too far because she refused to leave Lou alone with him. And Lou kept wanting to do more and more with Ben.

But you didn't mind that, because it meant that Rosemary got to sit front row to Ben trying to get more comfortable around Lou.

And try he was. He sat with her each day while she drew after breakfast, watched you and her paint side by side on Legend's back porch, waited patiently while you braided Lou's hair back from her face, and even indulged her in the occasional game of Go Fish that Ben always seemed to lose. But he didn't mind or at least not that you could tell.

"I understand that you all have this kind of fucked up fantasy when you go after Mindstorm," Rosemary sighed leaning back on Legend's dark brown leather couch with a beer in her hand. "But I still don't see how this is going to help us with Homelander."

Butcher shrugs taking a sip from his own beer bottle, brooding in the chair across from her. Hughie mirrors the shrug and reaches for the last slice of pizza in the ornate glass coffee table in front of the couch.

You were sitting on the couch beside her, your legs folded up underneath you with a mug full of scotch clutched between your hands, while Ben stretched out beside you nursing his own glass of whiskey.

In all the years that you had known Legend, there never seemed to be a shortage of booze. Ben respected that.

Lou was sleeping soundly upstairs, you kept checking on her every few minutes with your supe hearing, but so far she hadn't woken up.

"Because those two wanted us to go after their old team first." Butcher gestures to Ben and you with his bottle.

"At least we don't have a hard-on for Homelander." Ben frowns. "Can't tell if you want me to kill him or if you want to fuck him."

"Ben-" You sigh.

You had tried not to think about Homelander over the past few days, but it was unavoidable. You bite the inside of your cheek remembering what it was like to fight him, what it was like to hold him by the throat and stare into his nearly black eyes.

He had been pissed. You knew that, but you hadn't expected to feel so weird when you looked at him. You remember his blonde hair, the sharp smell of hair dye, the strong cut of his jaw-

Your thumb rubs the side of the mug you're holding. There was something else about him though, something that you couldn't place, something that when you looked at him you felt that you had forgotten something. Something important that nagged and tugged at the back of your mind.

But what? I've seen him before, at least not in person, and definitely not that close. Only in those pathetic interviews on T.V, on those stupid energy drinks…

You think again about the grip you had on his throat, remember the angular planes of his face.

"That doesn't fucking help." Rosemary rolls her eyes and you look up at your daughter.

She really does act like Ben even if he wasn't around through her childhood.

You think to yourself, your eyes tracing her face, looking at the soft dusting of cinnamon colored freckles over her cheeks that she usually hid under makeup and the nose that always reminded you of your father.

You think about Homelander again. But what did I forget? What about him made me-

Your entire body freezes as you stare at Rosemary's face, the face that you'd looked at for the past forty years.

No. That's impossible-

You can't breathe, can't think. Something cold clamps over your heart the chill soaking into your bones like you've sunk into deep water. All other sounds in the room fade into a muddled haze as you sit there and stare at her, eyes widening, heartbeat beginning to thud loudly in your ears.

Oh. My. Fucking. G-

The mug shatters in your hand, glass and alcohol going everywhere, but you don't feel anything. Only the sense of dread, and the chill that spreads with the coming storm and the understanding of what it is you've forgotten.

And you hoped to God that you were wrong.

A/N: I'M BACK BABY! Honestly after a week off I am doing alot better. Thank you everyone for the love and support. I hope y'all liked this chapter. It's moving the story right on along and the next chapter is going to be BIG and BLOODY. But we'll make it through.

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[subbing-for-clones]

The Defective Jedi

Chapter 1

Word count: 2.2k

Trigger Warnings: None really, just some fighting

Every day you tried to forget and yet almost every night you remembered. Wandering through the crystal caves of Ilum was horribly cold and felt so lonely. You were never particularly strong with the force but you always felt it. That connection between all things living and the energy it permeated, but when you entered the cave you felt, nothing. Why did you feel nothing?

You heard the other younglings yipping in happiness and laughing in triumph as one by one they found their kyber crystals and still, nothing called for you. Time was running out before the entrance became a wall of ice with no escape and even as a child you accepted defeat before you accepted death. You were the last to leave and the only one who was left empty handed. You would remember the disappointed look of Master Yoda forever, his eyes turned to the snow beneath his feet with a pained look before he looked back up at you.

It wasn’t long after that you were sent back home to Lothal. You had taken your parents pride and sullied it with failure and you don’t think they ever forgave you for it. It was true, you had failed before you even really got started. Your connection to the force just wasn’t strong enough to be a Jedi.

Still, you refused to let the connection go. You spent your formative years practicing the techniques you were able to learn in your short time studying under the jedi. Hours meditating every rotation searching for that warmth. You did find it; you could still feel it and so you taught yourself as much as you could.

Once you were able to venture out on your own you left Lothal and your parents’ resentment behind. Never really setting up a home; you joined a bounty hunter’s guild instead and used your abilities to become a fairly prolific hunter. It was during these years that all hell broke lose as war erupted all over the galaxy.

Only one year in and it wasn’t looking good. Hundreds of Jedi had fallen to the separatist forces and they needed help. This was when a desperate plea rang across the galaxy for the aid of anyone with force sensitive capabilities to come and join the fight for the republic. Whether it was out of the desire to help or need to prove yourself to the ones who threw you out you weren’t sure; still you answered their call.

You were tested and trained in a group of others with similar stories to your own under several rotating Jedi. At the end of your training, you were assigned to be exactly what you already were; a fighter. You were assigned to various squads as aid and back up; using your intuition, strategy skills and your fighting expertise on the battle field with the clones. You’d never hold a rank above a grunt but you didn’t care. Every victory was a curse on the Jedi for giving you up.

After months of rotating between battalions you were about to receive your permanent assignment. Clone Force 99, a rag tag team of four, apparently defective, clones. The irony didn’t escape you.

“Why are we getting a Jedi?” Hunter asked the hologram of Cody. The others standing back but still in view of the commander.

“She’s not a Jedi, she’s one of the force sensitives the Jedi asked to join the cause. She doesn’t hold rank over you, you’re still in charge.”

“I don’t like it.” Sneered Crosshair.

“Well, you don’t have much of a choice. The higher ups want these people sprinkled out through all the squads in case of a Sith attack. The Jedi worry about them rising up with the appearance of a few and quite frankly, no clone stands a chance agianst them. They can wipe out battalions.”

“When is she joining and for how long?” The Sergent was growing impatient and didn’t like the idea of a new member being added to their group.

“She’s waiting on Kamino for you now so you’ll meet her upon arrival, she’ll be with you until the war is over or until she runs as fast as she can away from you.” The commander had a small smirk on his face that Hunter mirrored. The idea of sending a Jedi, or whatever, running amused him.

            Once they touched down on Kamino three out of the four were sightly on edge with the exception or Wrecker who seemed rather excited. He was generally the most welcoming. The worry melted away as soon as they laid eyes on you. You really didn’t look like a Jedi at all. You looked like an operative. Instead of a robe you wore black armor and in the place of a lightsaber at your hip, you had a blaster and a large curved vibro-blade.

Crosshair couldn’t help but eye you up and down the armor looked good on you. You took each of them in once you took your helmet off and introduced yourself to your new companions, a dance you’ve done before. Wrecker was kind enough to grab the two crates of your belongings and load them onto the ship. There wasn’t much time for pleasantries before you received your first mission. You were to extract data from an outpost on Teth and upload it straight to Cody. Information about prisoners of war and where they were being held was your main objective. Anything else was an added bonus. You all loaded onto the ship after eating a hearty meal in the cafeteria.

In the back of the ship next to the bunks you unpacked a few things from your crates.

“Whatchya got there?” Wrecker asked excitedly.

“Ill eat a loth cat before I sleep in GAR issued blankets.” He laughed heartily at your response and left you to continue. You didn’t have any photos to hang or many personal items at all for that matter but that’s how you’ve lived for the last few years anyway.

            Once you were finished you made your way to the common area where the clones were discussing strategy. Quietly you took the empty seat between Tech and Crosshair. The outpost was situated in the middle of the jungle. Intel reported minimal guards as it wasn’t a main base but still enough that you all decided stealth was your best option.

            Once the plan had been formulated they all looked at you expectedly.

“What is it?” you asked.

“So why didn’t you become a Jedi?” Tech asked outright, Hunter elbowed him but didn’t faze the goggled soldier.

“I tried but, well they decided I wasn’t strong enough. I’m closer to the force than most people but not close enough to be a Jedi.”

“You’re defective like us!” Wrecker shouted with glee, earning an elbow from Hunter as well. You actually laughed a bit.

“Yeah, you could say that. I’ve used my abilities as a bounty hunter since I left Lothal until I joined the GAR.”

            Crosshair watched you out of the corner of his eye. You really weren’t what they thought you would be at all. You weren’t a religious zealot you were just someone trying to find their way in the galaxy like the rest of them. He admired that, the honesty too. You weren’t trying to be something you’re not.

            That night in hyperspace you tossed and turned in your new bunk. Nightmares from close calls on a hunt filled your mind. You were often reminded of the times you came close to getting killed before a mission. Eventually you gave up and made your way toward the cockpit. You enjoyed meditating under the blue streaking lights. You were surprised to see that someone had beat you to it. The lithe handsome sniper sat in the pilot’s chair cleaning his fire puncher and mouthing a tooth pick.

            He looked up at you slightly taken aback by your appearance. Quickly he composed himself and half waved his arm at the other seat as a silent invitation.

“Sorry for intruding, I just couldn’t sleep.”

“You’re not.”

You were starting to like the way words seemed to slither off his tongue. You nodded a thanks to him and turned to watch the stars soaring by at light speed. Both you sat in silence for a few minutes before he opened and shut his mouth, wanting to ask you something but Cross wasn’t sure if it was out of turn.

He mentally shrugged and asked, “So why did you join the GAR?”

“Is one part brave three parts fool a believable answer?”

“I doubt you’re a fool.”

“Well, we’ll see if you keep that opinion,” you chuckled and earned an upturn of the corner of his mouth.

“Honestly? I found it ironic that the Jedi needed our help now. I don’t hold too much resentment agianst them but I do want to prove myself as valuable. Besides, things make sense out here.”

“How so?” He turned in his chair to face you and put his rifle down for a moment. You glanced at him and shrugged your shoulders.

“There’s no confusion right now. We fight agianst Separatists and clankers. I’m sure there are good people on those planets but this is the side I chose to fight for so that’s what I’m going to do.”

Crosshair digested your words and offered “We didn’t get a choice.”

“If you did, what would you be doing?”

“That’s a difficult question to answer, I’ve never let myself be hypothetical like that before because there isn’t a choice. I.. We’re property of the GAR just like my rifle and this ship. Don’t tell Tech that though, it’s his ship in his mind.”

You giggled a bit at that and nodded your head in understanding.

“I spent so much time hunting and fighting bounties that this just seemed like a natural course of action. I can’t see myself doing anything else instead now.”

Crosshair picked up his fire puncher again and resumed cleaning it. You watched him for a while before turning back to the lights and closing your eyes. You reached out through the force trying to feel the Purgill you swore you heard. What you didn’t sense was Crosshair watching you intently.

            You were going over the mission plan one last time while Tech was putting down the ship a few clicks away from the objective point. The jungle terrain was difficult to get through but not too much of a problem. The closer you got the more the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. Cross left your group close to the outpost to climb one of the giant trees for a better vantage point.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” you whispered to the Sergent.

He nodded in response, seemingly sensing something as well. The post was supposed to be guarded by droids with a few officers scattered throughout but something was off. No perimeter defense and no guards posted outside. Your group made their way around to a side door shown on the schematics and while Tech was overriding security, you Hunter and Wrecker kept watch. You could Feel Crosshair’s eyes on you and it gave you an overwhelming sense of security knowing he was watching over you.

            Three droids were posted on the inside of the door and as soon as you were in Wrecker crushed one agianst the wall, Hunter stabbed one in the chest and you took the last one’s head off with your long viroblade. Quickly you dashed in and made your way through the base looking for a data port. Tech found one on a lower level and plugged in, searching the database until he found what he needed.  

“It seems there are around fifty clones being held captive for questioning on a moon in the outer rim. There are also schematics for the spider droids here…” Tech prattled on interesting things he was downloading until Hunter shushed him and signaled for him to hurry up. That’s when the alarm sounded.

“We gotta go, now.” You stated with certainty. Trusting your instinct the boys packed up and started running back up to the way out. Once the door was insight, a wall of droids emerged and started firing at you. You fell back around a corner and started shooting them with your blaster looking for a weak point in the wall.

“Wrecker throw a smoke grenade,” Hunter barked.

“On it!” Wrecker tossed two creating a large fog that allowed you to step out, you reached out your hand and with a little struggle, used the force to loosen a wall panel until it flew into the side of the droid squad, pinning them to the opposite wall.

“HA HA NICE!” Wrecker shouted.

The four of you ran like hell out of the outpost to find several fallen droids, courtesy of the reliable sniper.

Once the five of you were back on the ship and Tech was taking off Wrecker was excitedly telling Crosshair how you threw a wall at a bunch of droids, taking out ten in one go. There seemed to be an impressed glint in his eye.

“That was good work back there,” Hunter told you sincerely. You smiled and thanked him, watching as the data was sent through encryption straight to Cody to do with as he saw fit.

Your first mission with the squad, a success you exchanged a smile with the sniper and sat in your victory.

[winterrrnight]

hi baby!! congrats you so deserve it!💘💘💘💘

can i request for rafe 6 or 29? whichever you like more💘

hey cami!! thank you sooo much darling 🥹🥹 i really have no words on how much your support means to me; you've been there since almost the beginning and you've never failed to shower love on my fics 🫶🏻 it really means so much to me <3 i hope you like this!! I used both the prompts :)

cherry flavoured

PAIRING: soft!rafe cameron x gn!reader

SUMMARY: you and Rafe have your first kiss, and he tastes just like cherries.

WARNINGS: fluff, kissing, the reader is a little shy and nervous, rafe is a massive softie + ignore any little grammatical/spelling mistakes!

EDITH SPEAKS: I think this came out pretty cute! This girl here hasn't had her first kiss yet (spare me please, I've had zero luck with guys or girls also I want it to be w someone special, not just anyone) so I think when I'll have it this is literally how I'll react :')

PROMPTS REQUESTED: "quit smiling at me. I can't stop messing up my sentences with you looking at me like that." & "should we like, talk about it?" "aboutwhatnothingweirdhashappenedlatelyhaha-" "let me see if I can jog your memory."

100 followers celebration || navigation

He looks at you, a softer look taking over his eyes as he gazes over the warmth in your cheeks and your slightly swollen lips. You find your mind going in a haze as you think about how you just kissed Rafe for the first time.

You both met each other at one of his parties, you being new to the island, had no idea about anyone at the party except your friend who dragged you there. You had just taken a cup full of your drink and were desperately trying to navigate your way all alone throughout the crowd of people, your friend long gone with some guy.

Even though you were extremely careful, it was not enough, because the exact thing you were dreading happened. You bumped into someone, and you mentally cursed yourself for wearing a white cardigan, because it seeped through the material and stained it, and not to mention how it started to stick to your skin in an ungodly manner.

The guy in front of you, which you learnt is the one who's party you're at, was totally embarrassed with what he did; apologised nothing less than a 100 times, and when his attempt of trying to wipe it off with some paper towels failed, he took you to his room upstairs to give you some of his clothes. Not to forget he kept on apologising to you, and at one point, you forgave him, because you knew it was just an honest mistake (and also because you can only hear the word 'sorry' so many times).

Oh and you were so glad you did forgive him, because his clothes were some of the most comfortable you've ever worn. He let you take any one of his crewneck, and you chose one in your favorite color. It encased you in warmth and his scent of fresh detergent, which provided you immediate comfort.

But instead of going down back, you both sat on the floor next to each other and talked. He made you laugh a lot, but also, made sure to not make you super uncomfortable with questions you may not want to answer. At the end, you had to leave, but he didn't let you go without asking you out on a date and with your number in his phone.

And now here you are, right after one of your dates, where he kisses you with all the courage he has. You knew you've been wanting this for too long now, so when he started leaning back, you pressed your lips back onto his, pulling him closer to you and kissing him deeper, and harder.

When you pull back, he looks at you, and you find your cheeks heating up, red coating you everywhere. After a few moments of silence, Rafe decides to speak up.

"Should we like, talk about it?" He says, you knowing fully well he means the kiss.

A giggle escapes your lips as you start to speak. Well, speak is the wrong choice of word. You ramble.

"Aboutwhatnothingweirdhashappenedlatelyhaha-" you say in one breath, as you feel your hands getting sweaty. Rafe only looks at you with a grin; you getting nervous around him and jumbling up all your words is one of the first things he found cute about you.

"Let me see if I can jog your memory," he mumbles, leaning in to kiss you again. And you don't pull back. Why would you? He tastes so addictive, reminding you of cherries, and you only crave more with each passing second.

When he pulls back again, he's giggling at your expression, your face even more red than before (is that even possible?), your lips shiny and your eyes gleaming with the light of the lamp post you're both standing under.

He absolutely cannot stop smiling at you. You've made him so happy, he cannot fathom it. It's so easy for him to cheer up just the moment he spots you; you're the ray of sunshine falling onto the dark side of his moon.

You want to say something, anything, but your mind is all fuzzy and only random words leave your mouth. Rafe giggles harder as he wraps his arms around you and hugs you close to him.

You look at him, his lips still pulled in a smile, you think he hasn't stopped smiling since the date started.

"Quit smiling at me. I can't stop messing up my sentences with you looking at me like that." Finally, finally a proper sentence leaves your mouth, one which isn't spoken in a single breathe or isn't just necessarily a stack of words.

Rafe presses his lips to your forehead, his laughs slowly dying and your heart rate calming down as you stand hugging under the warm light of the lamp post.

You've never felt so serene.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

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[nthspecialll]

Lost love

Agnes Dowd is an NPC you might have met on your adventures without ever knowing who she is, in fact you might have fled from her.

Being in the swamps of the bayou is not something I imagine a lot of us feel very enthusiastic about doing, so suddenly hearing a voice come from no where is without a doubt going to rise suspecion, however before you run of, check to see if it might be Dowd telling you the story of her life and in the end her death as she relives memories.

Agnes is a ghost, she has 16 encounters, some of which you can see her at and some which only her voice can be heard, they will appear in a randomized order, thus making the story a bit hard to follow, but if pierced together it is quite chilling.

Let's start at the end, her grave can be found by Shady Belle, where she most likely lived, having come from a well off family, not only does the gravestone tell us when she died, 1883, which will later reveal a historical inaccuracy, but it also tells us that not only did she take her own life, but also others.

The first thing to know of Agnes's love story is that she was in love with a married man, not only a married man, but a married man of lower class, which is revealed when she curses him out calling him "white hilbilly trash" though the word hilbilly wouldn't actually make its offical debute for another 17 years.

Her family was was naturally not very happy about this arrangement, but that did not stop her from meeting the man underneath the tree where her ghost can be found and getting pregnant with their child, a child made out of wedlock. Agnes sees this as something great, as this would now mean he had to marry her, leaving the woman he was already with, whom Agnes said did not love him, however it did not go that way instead he left Agnes.

Agnes gets upset, saying that he never loved her, that her mom was right and that he was just after her for the money. They argued and Agnes was stressed over the thought that no one would have her now as she had a "bastard" child.

Though they argued, Agnes came to miss her lover and she can be heard calling out to him, saying she misses and loves him, begging for him to return.

Having never liked this relationship from the beginning, Agnes's parents were very vocal about taunting her for her lovers disappearence, however she defended him, claiming that he would return.

At some point after the baby's birth, Agnes and her lover met up again where she tried to convince her lover that he loved her and that their child looked just like him, but in the same encounter she also reveals that she left the baby and everything she had for him.

On the fateful night of september 4th 1883, Agnes's father grabbed his gun and went to pay the lover a visit. Agnes followed, telling her father "please daddy, please don't say that, you are going to make me cry" probably stating an intention of hurting her lover, as he would do, "daddy! Daddy I forgave him why can't you?! Daddy! Daddy, no! Please put down the gun! Daddy!"'

The following encounters reveals a fight between the father and the lover while Agnes is panicking, trying to calm her father, it did not work as a shot can be heard at the end of an encounter, her lover died and Agnes admits to loosing her mind, with the heat of the moment, the gravestone stating she killed others and the calmness of the following encounter, it isn't impossible to say she killed her father and possibly also someone else.

The very last encounter and Agnes is calm, her ghost hanging from the tree which she met her lover by as she calls out "Hey stranger, I know you have been watching me, come meet me in the swamps by our tree. I will be waiting." This reveals that after killing her father, she went and killed herself.

[babiebom]

Between a Rock and a Hard Place(i)

A/N: literally the premise of this fic took over my daydream and I had to write it. Will not be as good as my daydream was because the dialogue my brain came up with made me cry and I cannot for the life of me remember it so this is second best<3

Tw: cursing, murder, kidnapping,physical abuse, pregnancy, mental abuse, verbal abuse, gore, blood, Stockholm syndrome, racism/slurs

Wc:1.8k

Next Masterlist

It’s easy to fall into traps when you can barely see in front of you. And it’s easy to see just how obvious those traps were when you look back. To Evangeline the bright red flags that were waving in her face had to be transparent with the way she stared at the man in front of her. She had always been the confident type, her beauty was something that couldn’t be questioned, and everyone around her knew it. So when men flirted or chatted her up, she reciprocated, always making it known that they had no chance of bedding her. She was flirty, yes, but not so loose that she would sleep around with just any guy that sent a poorly executed wink her way.

That is, until him. Johnny Slaughter was one of the most gorgeous men she had ever seen. The very sight of a man that women in the south dreamed of when they wanted to have a wet dream. His charm, and looks meant that her confidence stood no chance against him and what he wanted. And at that moment, what he wanted was her. The more he flirted with her, the more she could feel herself falling into his web, and for some reason no alarm bells went off in her head. Or maybe they did and she just mistook them for wedding bells.

She slept with him that very first day, let him get to know her in every meaning of the word. And he was sweet, those first couple of weeks. Took her out on dates, let her meet his weird family, told her that she was the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

Until he convinced her to move in. Sweet words, golden promises, a cheap ring that made her fall deeper for the Texan man without any other thought. It didn’t take too much longer after that for Johnny to show his true colors.

Lashing out, throwing things. It scared her the first time he took a vase from the shelf and flung it into the wall across the room. Evangeline couldn’t help but scream at how quickly he moved. But he still didn’t touch her, not then. He apologized for his actions, said he just got upset and didn’t know what to do about it. She forgave him after he peppered her tear stained face with kisses, figuring that everyone had their quirks. She grew up with a dad that was similar; he punched holes in the walls and smashed things when angry. He never put his hands on her mother, and that’s what she clung on to every time that Johnny got upset, she prayed he would be like her father and kept his hands off her.

Her prayers went unanswered. One day the man grabbed her instead of an object that he could break, and he threw her into the wall. He screams and screams, standing over her with a red face and spit flying out of his mouth. She doesn’t even remember what she did to make him upset, so she screams back at him, cursing his name and making a scene that now looking back she wished she had that same personality that had been lost.

She left after that, packing up her stuff and moving into a crappy little apartment that she could afford on her own. It took Johnny three weeks to come and apologize, reeling her in with honey dipped words and promises that he spent the three weeks they spent apart working on himself. Again, ignoring the red flags, she believed him and allowed herself to reenter a relationship with him. It was as if they had restarted to the beginning of their relationship when everything was hidden behind rose colored glasses. Happy with her life, she fell deeper for the man that somehow proved that he could change even though an entire month hadn’t passed.

She ignored the people whispering their doubts in her ear, moving faster than she had in her relationship with him than she did before. They had already been together for a while, right? They didn’t need to slow down; they were obviously on the right track. He convinces her to move in together again, this time into his family’s home.

She hated living with the Sawyers, their weird diet and secrecy put her off from wanting to maintain an actual relationship with them. She begged Johnny to move out into their own place, or at least with his mother, but he refused. His mother had left somewhere and since she didn’t like Evangeline, and wasn't supportive of their relationship, the two were not allowed to live together in her house.

Soon, she found out exactly why he had hid his family from her before. A girl had burst into the room she shared with Johnny, bloody with a crazed look in her eyes. She grabbed Evangeline roughly, screaming and swinging at her, going on about her friends being murdered and it being the fault of this family or something. Evangeline couldn’t do anything but scream, taken by surprise and unable to fight against pure adrenaline.

She kicks the girl and screams, confused as Nubbins bursts into the room laughing loudly. “Found ‘er!” He yelled down to the family below. When Johnny comes in he rips the girl away from Evangeline, unlike Nubbins who was amused with what was happening. The girl is taken out of the room by Nubbins and Johnny as Evangeline lies there on the ground, bruised and scratched, bleeding from the cuts she received.

It took a week for her to ask, and still he didn’t answer totally, not until she wandered into the basement and found Bubba cutting up someone as if they were an animal he had slaughtered. She threw up loudly, causing Bubba to spin around and panic that she was in the room. Everything after this just got worse.

Johnny reverted back to being abusive now that he had nothing to hide. Didn’t slowly escalate like last time, just went straight into beating Evangeline. It was worse than before, choking her until she passed out, punching her until her eyes were puffy. All the while he laughed and taunted her, that she couldn’t break up with him now, he owned her now, they could never let her go because of what she’s seen. It’s either submit or die.

It’s months of this, a year of this. Of being beaten and taunted and manipulated. They didn’t allow her to leave, and because she willingly moved in with him no one would report her as missing. Her friends experienced her disappearing before, and so has her family, last time she was in a relationship with him.

Things start to look up when she starts throwing up, when she starts showing signs of pregnancy. It’s not surprising in the least to her, unable to access birth control and Johnny’s hatred of using condoms when plowing into her. She’s surprised that it took this long for her to get knocked up by him. And as her pregnancy progresses every time she looks at her face in the mirror she is disappointed at the person she sees.

It takes being beaten by him two more times while she’s carrying his child that she realizes that in the course of this relationship she has changed completely. Gone is the girl that could laugh freely, that was confident and unwavering. Johnny had stripped her of her personality and crushed her down into whoever he wanted her to be. So she starts planning, using the tiny bit of determination she had left, she needed to better herself if she’s going to be a parent. No one wants to raise their child in this type of environment.

Her plan goes into motion quicker than she expects with the return of Johnny’s mother. The woman at first is angry that he managed to get Evangeline pregnant, saying she doesn’t want a grandchild that is half negro because he decided to fuck some coon. Then as time passes the woman comes around to being happy that she was getting a grandchild and started being the monster-in-law from hell. Every day is spent with Nancy telling Evangeline just how happy she’s going to be when the baby is born and old enough for them to get rid of her. That Johnny will no longer need her after the baby is born because when her body changes the man will be disgusted with her and won’t want to stick his dick in her anymore. That they’ll easily get rid of her and her baby will be raised by Nancy herself, and there’s nothing Evangeline can do about it because Johnny will always side with his mother, and will cut out her tongue faster than she can disrespect Nancy in any way.

Luckily the whole stupid family trusts her to cook, and because Sissy hadn’t kept her gardening secrets an actual secret, Evangeline knows exactly how to knock out the entire house. It isn’t uncommon for her to refuse to eat, and since Nancy isn’t living in the Sawyer house she doesn’t have anyone looking over her shoulder, everyone believing that she was completely broken. When everyone falls asleep she takes off into the night, driving away in her car that had gone unused for a while.

She stops at her mothers house, crying that she was leaving and needed money to get away. Her mother helps, happy enough to help her get away from the guy the entire family had hated from the beginning. Letting her pack clothes, her documents and other things and letting her get away while the moon is still high in the sky.

This is how she finds herself now, on a train to Florida with no way to find her. As the train pulls away, she can feel herself shed so much tension that she feels almost weightless. As far as her eyes can see, no one around her recognizes her, and as far as she knows the only person that knows that she’s leaving is her mother, and to be careful she doesn’t even tell her mother where she’s going, having decided the second she got to the train station.

Roseville, Florida is similar to Texas with the heat. The familiar feel of the sun in the sky makes her feel better, though she hates the heat it’s what she’s used to and no one would think that she didn’t go across the country when in reality she just went a couple states over. The little house that she is renting is a little expensive, a couple of blocks away from a beach and a little diner, close to a bus stop and a grocery store. She feels herself growing in hope, the thought of a new life makes her want to scream out in joy.

Johnny didn’t care enough to find her, that’s what she knows for sure, and so I’m her mind there is nothing that can go wrong now. She’s safe, happy, and expecting a baby in six more months. Things are finally looking up.

[faghubby]

Never too old for a spanking

"How dare you take that tone with me in my house" my mother yelled. I tried to leave the room knowing Jill must of heard. I had bought Jill home for the weekend to meet my mom. We had been dating for a few months now.

"Where do you think you are going?" My mother continued.

"Mom I am 20 years old you can't stop me" I told her in a pretty nasty tone. My mother was on her feet and grabbed me before I could even get out of the kitchen. She pinned me against the wall.

"Still that sassy mouth on you I raised you better, you go off to school and think you're a big man" she said she unbuckled my belt and pulled it off in one movement. She wouldn't dare I thought. She twisted my arm making me bend over she pushed me over the table.

"You can take down your pants or I will make you" she told me. I knew she would. Beaten I pulled my jeans down exposing my boxers.

"Undies too" she reminded me. She had not spanked me in years. But it had been common punishment growing up. As soon as I pulled my boxers down the belt came down across my bare ass. I cried out. Mom didn't hesitate long before another blow. Twenty in all. Since I was a big man now. As she had said. Tears in my eyes my ass felt hot. I stood and pulled up my pants to see Jill standing there watching from the doorway. I turned beet red totally Embarrassed and even more made at my mother. But I held my tounge. Jill suggested we take a walk. To let me cool down. I really didn't want to my ass hurt so much.

"That's a excellent idea" my mother chimed in I felt I had no chose.

"Are you okay" Jill asked as soon as we where outside.

"Yeah, mom is such a bitch" I cursed

"Now hold on, I heard the whole thing if you had just listened instead of throwing a tantrum she would not of had to punish you" Jill told me.

"Jill?" I said startled was she actually taking my mother's side

"Had you considered that telling your mother instead of asking her opinion about changing your major might have gone better?" Jill asked.

"are you really taking her side" I asked.

"No sides, just think you went about it wrong" Jill told me. As we walked around the block Jill pointed out how I had demanded my mother listen and just blindly be happy about it. By the time we got back home I felt better and sorry for treating my mother so bad.

"Mom, I just want to say I am sorry. I know you have sacrificed so much for me to be able to go to school" I said of course mom forgave me hugging me.

"It's okay, if you really want to change your major we can discuss it like adults" she told me. The three of us sat at the table. Me on a pillow. And talked about pros and cons of it. After about 45 minutes. I was convinced to stick with it and finish my degree.

"All this for you to agree with us" my mother sighed "will you ever learn" Jill just grabbed my arm in a hug.

"You made the right chose" she told me kissing my cheek. My mother would not allow me and Jill to sleep together. Not under her roof.

I was annoyed but Jill didn't seem to mind she took my old bedroom while I got the couch. After mom went to bed I snuck into my old room.

"What do you think you are doing?" Jill asked.

"Well, I thought maybe" I said peeking down her nightshade at her perfect perky tits.

"No you don't" she said smacking my hand away. "Now get back to the couch" I tried to convince her kissing her. Her hand grabbed my still sore ass. I cringed in pain.

"Get your little red ass back to the couch before I take a belt to it" she warned me. Defeated I went back out to the couch. I tossed and turned not being able to get comfortable.

I woke to the smell of bacon and Mom and Jill talking in the kitchen. I got up and headed to the bathroom. When I came out I heard my mother telling Jill

"I made him sit to pee for years. Till he could learn not to pee on the seat"

"Really when did he finally learn to lift the seat?" Jill laughed.

"He must of been 16" my mother joined laughing.

"I was not 16" I said walking in the kitchen.

"Fine don't get all upset, breakfast is ready. I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down. We ate and mom told Jill more embarrassing stories how I was stood up for the prom. How I peed my pants in forth grade. I tried to defend myself but was silenced by either mom or Jill. I got up to refill my coffee.

"Caffine is why you couldn't sleep last night" my mother sang. I filled my cup anyway.

"Why don't you show Jill around the neighborhood today. " my mother suggested.

"Yes please" Jill sang. So after we got dressed I took Jill on a tour. Expanding more then just around the block.

"How's that ass of yours" Jill teased as we started out.

"I am fine" I assured her. We had not gotten far when we happened to walk past Bob Nickels house he was the bane of my existence growing up. Picked on me and beat me up everyday. I had not even noticed till he called out

"Paulie boy" he sang in a twisted jingle he had always used for years.

"Who's that" Jill asked. Not wanting to explain I just waved

"HI Bob" I called back. But Jill stopped. Walking up to introduce herself.

"Hello, Bob is it. I am Jill. Apologies for Paulie being rude" Jill said. She had used Paulie I hated being called Paulie.

"OH Paulie had always been a bit rude" Bob explained. "But you look like an angel" Bob said flirting.

"You're so sweet" she said openly flirting back. They continued for a few minutes ignoring me completely. Before Jill excused us and we continued along.

"What was that?" I asked annoyed

"What, are you embarrassed of me. Won't even introduce me to your old friends?" Jill asked

"Bob! We aren't friends he is an asshole" I said annoyed Jill's hand smacked my ass.

"Your mother is right you swear way to much, besides Bob was completely charming, prehaps it is your attitude that causes such problems" Jill scolded. I stared at her what had gotten into her. But I said nothing.

I was about to turn around when Jill stopped me.

"Just down another block" she commented.

"This isn't the best neighborhood" I told her.

"Nonsence it's the middle of the day and I have a big strong man to protect me." She continued. I realized she led me straight to the adult book store. She just walked inside. I had never gone inside. My mother thought it a house of filth. Jill wandered around giggling about some of the outrageous things. All the way in the back she led me to a wall of torture devises I thought.

"Look at this" she held up a wooden paddle "bet this would teach you to listen" she laughed. Putting it back on the way out we passed vibrators and dildos in a display case.

"Look at the size of that one" she whispered pointing to an enormous black dildo. At that I lead her out of the store.

"Is there somewhere we can go to be alone" Jill asked her hand running up and down my arm.

"Not really" I said trying to think of anywhere. Jill pulled me into a vacant lot and behind a pile of tires leaned against the wall her hand slid into her pants. I pressed against her my hand replaced hers. I nervously kept looking around as I fingered her. Jill grew more and more excited pulling out her breast she pulled my head to them.

"I want you" she moaned

"I can't not here" I whispered.

"Should make you go buy me that big black dildo then" she moaned cursing me. As she came on my fingers. She fixed her clothes ignoring my hardon she walked out of the abandoned lot. I rushed to follow hoping my throbbing dick would subside.

"You are just a scared little boy aren't you?" Jill teased as she held me close as we walked.

"What?" I asked confused

"You felt so nervous with Bob, you aren't a little boy anymore. But you are still scared of him. Then the wrong part of town, and the sex shop. You freaked out someone might see you there. You might get in trouble. Then when you have a chance to fuck me. You won't because someone might see. Yet I was exposed. People could of seen me. And then like yesterday you felt you weren't going to get your way so you thru a tantrum." Jill told me.

"Jill I just" I started.

"Paulie, I want to marry you. I want to be your wife, I know you won't change I love that" she said stopping me in the street. Had she just asked me to marry her.

"Jill, I would love to marry you" I said. Jill kissed me and we headed home. Jill broke the news privately to my mother. It felt odd. But she assured me it was for the best. When they came out of the bedroom my mother kissed me in congratulations.

"You will wait till after graduation" she told me. I just nodded.

The next day we took the train back to school. Jill pulled into the bathroom on the train. She pulled out my dick and practically swallowed it whole.

She stopped and looked uo at me.

"If you cum before I say, I will spank your ass worse then your mother did"jill said and went back to sucking my dick. A few minutes later

"Jill I am going to cum" I whispered. But it was to late I came in her mouth. She swallowed e every drop. Jill stood and took my belt.

"Jill you can't be serious?" I said she grabbed me by the balls.

"OH I am, afraid you will cry out like a little boy" she teased. She spun me around never letting go of my balls.

"I told you I didn't want you to change, I want to be my little boy" she teased her hand pulled down the back of my pants and underwear. I bit my shirt to keep from making noise as she spanked me a dozen times. She held me in place as she rubbed a lotion on my ass. It made it feel better that was for sure.

"You are going to be mine, do everything I tell you too. Her lubed fingers danced across my asshole.

"You are afraid aren't you, think you might like it" Jill whispered in my ear. "Your mom told me how she caught you wearing her things, her private things" her finger pushed into my ass.

"I dont want the traditional marriage, I knew you where submissive when I met you, I didn't know how much till this weekend"

"Now pull up your pants, and let's go back to our seats" Jill said. As we sat down I knew many more spankings would be forthcoming in the following years. And I knew I needed Jill to lead me thru life rather then let me out on my own.

U

[hirillaeriel]

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow

Fandom(s): Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion

Rating: PG13

Tags: foresight, death, canonical character death, Implied death, grief/mourning

Characters: Miriel, Nerdanel, Galadriel, Maglor, Maedhros, Elrond, Elros, and Gil-Galad

Trigger warnings: Death, suicide

“Worry does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.”

-Unknown

The ability to see the future is often seen as a gift. A gift to those who wield it. It is not. To see the future is a curse. To see those you love die is a fate far worse than most can imagine. To be able to see it and not be able to do anything about it, to never be able to see or say anything, is a fate worse than death. To see their smiling faces and know what dark fate they shall soon face. That is the worst experience.

Miriel did not have the gift of foresight, per say, but she did see the future. She was Doomed to weave the tapestries telling of the fate of her family. Miriel’s fate was a sad one.

She was Doomed to know, but never to help.

Nerdanel hated the so-called gift of foresight, or farsight as it sometimes came to be. She hadn’t always had it, she had been just a simple nis before her insane idiot of a husband swore that damn oath and drove their sons and grandson into the far east. She was only cursed afterwards. At first she saw it as a gift, the ability to see her sons, to watch over them. Then it became a curse. First she saw her husband's death and his dramatic display upon his death, then one by one she watched her sons die. It wasn’t always awful, she enjoyed watching her eldest raise the half-elf twins. She enjoyed seeing them have their moments of joy. Nerdanel hated watching her grandson die. By that point she had already started to go mad herself. One can only take watching the ones they love die so much before something in them cracks. Finally it was just her, her son, and Elrond for her to watch over. For a time there was peace. For a time she could heal.

She was Doomed to see, but never speak.

Galadriel quickly understood that her powers would be her Doom. Her powerful Osanwe and her Mirror, her curiosity would bring about only pain. She could see the future, see her friends die, but even when she tried to interfere nothing changed. Nothing ever changed. It was already set in stone, already put into action. She could do nothing except watch.

She was Doomed to know, but never touch.

Elrond and Elros were quiet children. They spoke little to those besides their mother. They were often found staring at people unnervingly. It was quite creepy how they looked at the stablehands like they were seeing the dead walking. For them they were.

They knew about the downfall of Sirion even at their young age. Unlike most with this Eru forsaken gift they had a natural proclivity to future sight. They were born with this ability. Elrond and Elros knew what would happen, knew these people would die, but did nothing. They intrinsically knew that they could do nothing. It didn’t stop them from caring. They still hated knowing that the nice baker that made them special cookies and snuck them some after dinner would die. They hated that the nice sailor that taught them to swim would drown in the very waters he loved. They hated it all.

Of course Elros hated the Fëanorians for making it happen, he hated his mother for forcing their hands, he hated Morgoth for stealing the damn things in the first place. Elros hated everything. He was an angry ellon. He was quick tempered and lashed out easily. He didn’t like that he couldn’t do anything. He hated being weak.

Elrond still hated these things, but he was calmer than his brother. He forgave easier and was more patient than his short tempered brother. He understood things quicker and made peace with the future quicker. Elrond hated being powerless to help. Instead of lashing out like his brother he sat down and learned. He loved learning. He hoped to be able to save someone someday.

Maglor found the twins adorable. Maedhros found them unnerving. Maglor said that they were just traumatized from the death they had witnessed, but Maedhros did not agree. They looked around with steely indifference. They moved through life as if already knowing what was to come with such certainty… Not even fully grown Eldar had such certainty.

Elrond had never tried to warn someone of their death before, but he had become attached. He tried to warn the brothers of what would happen. He tried to sway Maedhros into a better mindset, he tried to warn Maglor about what his brother would do, but it was for nothing. They still retrieved the Silmarils, They still burned themselves, and Maedhros still jumped into that fiery chasm.

Elrond hated what he knew his brother would choose. He didn’t want his brother to be mortal. He hadn’t exactly seen Elros’s choice, but he had seen the outcome, his death. He had watched that future play out and knew he couldn’t follow his brother down that path. He could, oh how he could, but no, no he couldn’t. He knew what the future held. The future needed him. It needed the people that his brother would sire. It needed them right where they were to go, but that didn’t mean it hurt Elrond any less to leave his brother.

Elrond had once told himself to not get attached, but he always found himself right back where he now was, yelling at his loved one about whatever stupid action would end up getting them killed. Of course no one ever listened. They never believed him. It was stupid. What was the use of seeing the future if he couldn’t help anything?

Elrond knew he probably shouldn’t be avoiding his king. He should be spending these last few moments with his friend. Enjoy them and use every moment he could, but he just couldn’t bring himself to look at Gil-Galad’s face after his latest vision.

“Elrond Peredhel.”

Elrond wanted to bolt. He wanted to flee from the pain.

“Elrond, please, just look at me. Why are you avoiding me? Did I say something? Do something? Please, just tell me so that I can fix it.” Gil-Galad pleaded. “I do not want to go into battle with such uncertainty and strife between us.”

Elrond looked down at the ground to avoid the inevitable action of looking at his friend. His soon to be dead friend. “It’s nothing you’ve said or done, my friend.”

“That’s good.” Gil-Galad sounded relieved. “So it isn’t me. Is there anything I can do to help you? You know I’d do anything for you, Elrond.”

“Everyone always says that, but they never see it through.”

“Whatever do you mean, mellon nin?”

“I’ve tried in the past, but they never listened. I tried to help, tried to stop them. I did, I swear I did. Yet they still left.”

“Left? I’m not going to leave you Elrond!”

Elrond looks back at him and Gil-Galad’s joyous grin falls. Elrond shakes his head.

“You’ve seen my death, haven’t you.”

Elrond nods.

“It’s inevitable, isn’t it.”

Elwond nods again.

“Is this why you’ve been avoiding me? Honestly, Elrond, I thought you were smarter than that!”

“Will you listen?”

“Elrond, mellon nin, even if you told me I’d still do it. If my death could save any number of people I’d do it over and over again. You know that to be true.” Gil-Galad cups Elrond’s cheek and wipes his tears away with his thumb.

Elrond sobbed. “I know.”

“Elrond, will you at least tell me this? Do we win?”

“Yes.”

“Then it will all be worth it. Do not lose all hope. We shall see eachother again someday. It is not all in vain. Now come, spend these last days with me. Tell me of what will come after my death, please. I would like to be happy if I am to die.”

“Please, stay back?”

“Elrond, I will not stand back and send my men into battle while I cower in my tent. You know I am not like that. If I am to die I will do so in battle with a sword in my hand, fighting against evil, not cowering like a dog.”

Elrond choked. “I just-”

“You don’t want to lose me. I understand. I love you, Elrond, you are my dearest friend. Now as my friend which would you have me do? Die a coward or go down fighting with my men and for what I believe in?”

“I’d rather you not die at all.”

“Elrond.”

“I’d rather you die fighting.”

“Good. Now I need you to understand that. I will never run away from a fight. I stand my ground, even in the face of certain death. I will take as many of those mad bastards down with me as I can.”

Elrond sighs. “Very well.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through this, Elrond. It isn’t fair.”

“Nothing is ever fair.”

Elrond made peace with the fact that the people around him would die. He lived with that knowledge, but he was put at ease with the fact that they’d go do fighting. They’d go do fighting for what they believed in and they’d take down as many of their enemies as they could before doing so. Elrond could live with that fact.

Elrond was Doomed to know, but to be at peace.

Arwen didn’t have as strong of foresight as her father or maternal grandmother. She couldn’t truly see much of anything, she just had feelings or would simply know something would happen. She wasn’t overly troubled with the knowledge of her peoples’ impending deaths. Arwen, unlike her father, didn’t truly have many to fear dying. She was born in a time of peace and even those years she lived through war she knew the tragedies that it would bring. When she saw into the future and saw the darkness, doom, and death she saw them for what they were. She had always had a more mortal mindset to such things. She saw past the despair and on towards the bright futures. Where her forebears just saw death she saw life.

Arwen was Doomed to see the darkness, but to understand.

[daveyfvckingjacobs]

Esther! That was her name! I kept calling Davey’s mum Mrs Jacobs cuz I couldnt remember 😂

THOUGHTS! Ok so this one is actually really long and really sad so… sorry lmao

Jack and Spot didn’t always hate each other. They actually used to be close. Before the refuge, before Spot moved to Brooklyn, before Snyder. Bc this is based off UKsies Spot is a girl so in the refuge she and Jack were split up, put into different cells. Jack was 12, Spot and Race were 10. Jack had promised Spot that he would always protect her but as their time stretched on Spot started to notice something. Jack had a new kid following him around. Some scrawny kid with dark hair. He looked about the same age as her. Due to them being opposite genders they had to sit on opposite sides of the room at meals. He still waved to her but that was their only interaction. When Jack escaped he took the other boy with him, and not her. He left Spot to fend for herself for the rest of her time in the refuge. Jack had promised to always protect her and he didn’t do that. When she finally saw him he was fine. Smiling and laughing along with the other Manhattan boys, arms wrapped protectively around that new boy’s shoulders. Spot ran. As far as she could before her exhaustion caught up to her, halfway across the Brooklyn bridge. The next time Jack saw Spot she was different. She had seen how cold the world was to people like her. Unlike Jack she had had to claw her way to the top. She had fought and starved and hurt and bled to earn her place as the king of Brooklyn. She was scarred she was broken she was selfish and cold. Jack wanted to help her. He wanted to hug her and tell her he was sorry. But she didn’t want to talk to him. Because she hadn’t seen all the tears and blood jack had shed in his guilt of leaving her. She couldn’t tell by his face that he never forgave himself for not going back for her. Spot hadn’t been there for all the nights he had spent wondering what happened to her, wondering if it was his fault and cursing himself for being so scared of Snyder that he couldn’t go find her again.

and Race? My boy was oblivious. He knew Jack was sad all the time even when he looked happy. He learnt how to help when things got bad. But Jack never wanted to talk about it. Despite all of this Race finally had someone who loved him. Someone who was alive and well and didn’t care that he smoked and held him when he cried and always made sure he was fed. And Spot didn’t blame him. Drawn like a moth to a flame Jack’s kindness and warm personality drew in all the other kids. He was the brother or the father that so many of them didn’t have, and honestly she was glad that he hadn’t hurt anyone else the way he hurt her. - 🤠anon

oh my god :(((

jack never has the words to express when he’s failed someone, never has. he knows he let her down and he wants to fix it but spot won’t let him. and jack gets that - he isn’t sure he’d let her, if the roles were reversed. part of him tries to understand how much what happened hurt, how it looks like he was replacing her or didn’t care anymore and sometimes late at night, when he can’t sleep, he’ll resent race for it, just a bit. for needing him the way he did, for being a replacement, for helping him lose spot. he immediately hates himself for it of course, knows it isn’t race’s fault and pushes those thoughts that only last a few seconds fiercely away. it’s just the way things worked out, he can’t change it. and yet it hurts so much he can’t breathe when he tries to reach out and gets pushed away instead, when spot sneers and tilts her chins and shrugs him off. he can’t explain why unless someone pushes him too, because the words won’t come otherwise. they get stuck in his throat but he just can’t say them, and with spot having given up on ever hearing them, he doesn’t think he ever will. he hopes spot understands though, even if she won’t say it. he hopes she knows he would never give up on her like that, that he helps every other wayward kid day in and day out because he failed her. that he wants to make up for what happened that wasn’t even his fault

she sort of knows it too. until the rally. then it all comes crumbling down again

[tc-doherty]

Betrayal, Desire, and Skin for whichever Silverwood character(s) you like! Y'know unless those tickle your brain an exact way for Second Chances folks instead.

Betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

This is almost too easy for Silverwood because well, it's Silverwood and betrayal is pretty much bread-and-butter to the story so I'll tell you one that you might not expect (please forgive me if you already know this).

So Ithea was terminally ill with a disease which ultimately would tear her body apart but which could have been mitigated for much longer than it was except for the fact that she was hardwired old school Drezhein and would literally rather die than show weakness in front of anyone, even people that she supposedly trusts. So when it starts getting to the point where she's having difficulty hiding her symptoms from Anthem and the kids she basically arranges to have herself killed (she fights her brother Ithian to the death, and they both die).

No one knows about this, for years nobody had any idea what happened. Anthem didn't know why she had gone off on her own when they had talked about working together to kill him and to the kids she just vanished and Anthem never told them anything. In fact they knew so little information about it that Charlie actually accused his father of murdering Ithea because, well, it made sense at the time.

Until many, many years later when Kaite was cleaning up at the manor house and she found a letter that Ithea had written to Charlie explaining everything and apologizing and then she had just hidden it somewhere. To most of the kids the whole thing made sense and gave them closure, after all they were adults with children of their own, in many cases. But for Charlie and Cyan, it really was a betrayal that Ithea would choose to abandon them rather than ruin her image.

And neither one of them ever entirely forgave her.

Desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Ithea has several deep desires that people either don't know about or don't understand. It's hard to believe from the first answer but she really did want to be a mother, she just wasn't willing to pursue that in face of what it would mean to have all of them watch her die slowly from this horrific disease. However people really don't understand why she craved power and notoriety as much as she did, they just sort of chalk it up to a Drezhein thing because they do tend to be power-hungry.

But it goes a bit farther with her because of where and how she was raised, in a place where women are basically powerless and worthless, aren't allowed to be educated, aren't really allowed to be in positions of authority, aren't supposed to make waves, can't make decisions for themselves… She wants to stand out. She wants power over other people. She wants people to notice her and have to respect her. That, she pursues with everything she has.

Skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

Switching stories for this one because it's not really an issue for anybody in the Silverwood cast however it is for Mahesha from Second Chances.

He isn't human, and he is very much pretending that he is human for most of the story. Because they live in a world where shapeshifters are not valued, and he grew up in a place that is especially bad about that, he sees himself as nothing but a beast, and he hates everything about himself that is different from the humans around him.

He is incredibly hard on himself, punishes himself for every thing that he views as a mistake or a failure and is also very bad at acknowledging when he actually does something right. More or less he consistently punishes himself for not having been born human and is pretty much constantly reminding himself that he is less than the people around him. He believes everything he was ever taught – consciously or subconsciously – about shapeshifters and it takes him a very long time to even make the basic connection of "just because some trait or habit isn't human does not automatically make it bad".

~Not-So-Nice Ask Game~

[rere-the-writer]

Title- Mikaelsons and a baby

A part two to this ask

Part three

Part four - coming soon

Pairings: Poly!Mikaelson x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Soft!Mikaelsons, Just a little bit of angst, Klaus and Kol threating people

You sat with Rebekah trying to distract yourself from not worrying about Davina as lately the young witch hadn't been feeling well lately. You looked up seeing Hayley leaving with Sophie and thought nothing of it.

"Hey Beka?"

"Yes, beautiful?" Rebekah questioned looking over at you seeing that you were knitting you fourth scarf.

"Is Davina okay? Marcel was asking about her earlier." You asked Rebekah watching drop her book worry came across her face.

"Also it is probably nothing but I over heard Sophie talking to Nik about completing the Harvest." You answered Rebekah startled when she suddenly stood up.

"I need to find Elijah." Rebekah said leaving making you worry as it was never good if Elijah needed to know and decided to find Kol since you were still mad at Klaus when learned what he did to Davina.

"Kol? What are you doing?" You asked him finding him in your bedroom trying do something.

"Putting the crib together." Kol said smiling up at you as you giggled seeing that it was looking more like a hot mess than a crib.

"Babe, that doesn't look like a crib." You giggle sitting next to Kol as he placed his hand on your baby bump.

"Well right now it doesn't but it will be."

"Need any hel......" You were cut off when the room shook and Kol quickly grabbed you protecting you as things fell from the wall.

"What was that?"

"Davina. She can't control all that magic she has." Kol says walking out of the room with you following worried as you mothered the girl as Kol would tease. You followed Kol but paused seeing Hayley with Elijah and as much as you knew to follow Kol. You were curious what they were talking about.

"Elijah, I have something to tell you." You heard Hayley say as you peeked around the corner knowing Elijah most likely knew that you were there.

"What is it Hayley?"

"Sophie called asking for a favor and at first I thought it was about the baby as Sophie promised me that she would help break the curse," Hayley says as she walked ahead of Elijah as he narrowed his eyes, "that Marcel put on my people for information. I didn't think nothing of it but Davina started doing those pictures of Celeste."

"Hayley, what did you do? It have better not put Y/N and the baby in danger." Elijah said walking up to the werewolf as you swallowed a bad feeling settled in the pit of your stomach.

"Sophie wanted to find Celeste's remains so I asked Y/N and went though your journals to find out where you buried her the told Sophie," Hayley tells Elijah sounding hurt as you felt sick and guilty as Elijah told you in confidence, "I know it was snoopy and I should have just asked you."

"Celeste wanted to be left in peace. When a witch's remains are consecrated, that power fuels the rest of their community." Elijah tells Hayley hurt lacing his voice while guilt ate away at you. Hayley looked down feeling terrible as Elijah walked up to her.

"She did not want to be found, she made me promise to make sure she couldn't. Not only did you violated my privacy but you have broken my promise to her."

"I thought they were just bones Elijah."

"If you truly believed that, why didn't you ask me where to find her instead of using Y/N and looked though my journals." Elijah said walking pass Hayley going to chase after you hearing you walking off.

"Baby, Y/N. Wait a minute." Elijah says gently grabbing your arm and cupped your cheek wiping away your tears.

"Why are you upset?"

"Because I helped Hayley break your promise. I know how much they mean to you." You tell Elijah as he smiled softly pulling you into a hug.

"You are too sweet baby. I am not mad at you for you couldn't have known her little plan."

"But still Elijah." You mumble against his chest as Elijah kissed your head when you hugged him. It wasn't hard to see Elijah was angry at Hayley as Kol and Rebekah could tell but Klaus wasn't surprised as you finally forgave him and told him everything.

"Elijah can we talk?"

"Just on my out." Elijah said holding your hand taking you with him for the day as Klaus followed teasing Elijah.

"You don't have to be here. You also didn't need to bring Y/N, it'll take Sophie some time to prepare the consecration."

"I have nothing but time and Y/N needs time out of the Abattoir. I owe Celeste this much." Elijah says watching you stand at the grave flowers in hand as you told Elijah you wanted to pay respects to the dead witch.

"Care to elaborate?" Sabine asked walking up to Elijah as he looked at her then back at you with a soft look in his eyes.

"Ever experience something so profoundly wonderful that when it was taken from you. Your life felt unbearable?"

"Yeah I've felt that. I have scars to prove it." Sabine says noticing how Elijah watched you as if you were the only woman in the world.

"I believe when you love someone like I had Celeste, they leave you uniquely vulnerable. Y/N has the power to hurt me like no other."

"You really love that woman don't you?" Sabine asked looking at you also as Elijah took out a handkerchief.

"I do." Elijah says walking up to noticing a tear rolling down your cheek wiping it away. Learning that Marcel took Davina to protect her from the Harvest left a hollowed feeling in your chest.

"You okay there?" You heard Sabine ask as you left at the Abattoir as the family went looking for Davina and Marcel.

"Yeah.....I....just...it's nothing."

"You can tell me." Sabine says sitting next to you as you sighed rubbing your bump.

"I feel bad for Elijah. I understand Hayley wants to help her people but it made Elijah break his promise to Celeste."

"You knew were she was buried."

"Yeah....I asked wanting to pay respects to the woman that got to love Elijah before me."

"You are adorably dumb."

"So Nik and Kol tells me." You tell her with a bright smile as Sabine could see what the Mikaelsons saw in you. You had a softness to you that drew people in, that made them comfortable.

"Where is Hayley?"

"Hanging out with her wolves." You answered Sabine watching her pull out a pendant of some kind.

"Wanna know the sex of the baby?" Sabine asked you watching you light up nodding.

"We found Davina." Kol says sitting next to you seeing you playing a card game with Sabine. You paused looking at Kol as that hollow feeling returned.

"Oh." You said in a quiet voice which Kol picked up something was wrong with you and made a note to ask you later about it. Rain poured as you stood next to Kol with Elijah holding an umbrella over you as you all watch Sophie complete the Harvest.

"It didn't work." Hayley whispered as the witches didn't wake up as the rain stopped. You bit your lip tears falling seeing Sophie cry over her dead niece.

"Shhh darling. It's okay." Kol muttered softly hugging you as you cried Elijah felt his heart break hearing your sons.

"Rebekah, you and Kol take Y/N home while Niklaus and I take care of this."

"Come babe. We'll get you and get some tea." Rebekah says as you nodded walking with her and Kol.

Bad juju is what your grandmother would say when ever you would get a hollow feeling. For the last few days witch bad juju was running a muck as Klaus and Rebekah was missing while Kol had to save Hayley and a wolf you learned named Jackson.

"Baby?" Elijah questioned finding you sitting in Klaus's art studio dress in one of Klaus's shirts as non of Rebekah's clothes couldn't fit you anymore.

"I miss them 'Lijah." You tell him as he sits next to you kissing your head.

"We'll find them baby." Elijah tells you as you nodded. It was weird to you hanging around Hayley as you had been noticing how she would look at Elijah. You hadn't noticed until Celeste pointed it out after you learned she was controlling your new witch friend.

"You're a lot cuter than what Hayley told me about you." You heard Jackson say making your cheeks warm up looking up at the werewolf.

"Well I could say something nice about you but Hayley barely said a word about you."

"So why are you out here with Hayley?" Jackson asked sitting next to you.

"Hayley's idea. She told Elijah that it would be safer for me until they find Nik and Beka."

"I see. What are you having?"

"A girl." You tell him with a smile as you two talked.

"You let Hayley take my unborn child and Queen out in a swamp."

"Firstly it's a bayou Niklaus and second it was to keep her safe from Celeste." Elijah tells Klaus helping Rebekah over a log while Kol was ahead with Klaus. After a long night in a graveyard airing out centuries of problems, the Originals were inching to have you near them again.

"She is going to upset that Sabine is dead." Rebekah said knowing that you grew close to the witch

"Yes, we should tell her later." Elijah says as Hayley met up with them to which Klaus and Kol noticed right away that Hayley moved next to Elijah.

"Hayley have you and the wolves been taking care of Y/N?" Klaus questioned there was a dangerous under tone to Klaus's voice. Hayley looped her arm around Elijah's nodding as Elijah raised an eyebrow but pushed it aside.

When they reached the wolf pack, they heard your sweet laugh and saw you standing in front of what looked like a work bench. Jackson stood behind you gently holding your hands showing you how to drill.

"Hayley who is that touching my wife." Rebekah asked lowly as Hayley looked at her seeing the blonde vampire glaring. Hayley looked at the other three jumping when she heard them growling also glaring.

"That's Jackson. Y/N and him has been getting close."

"You have told him who she belongs to yes?"

"I though her being pregnant was a clear enough sign." Hayley told Klaus not caring for his glare. Rebekah got your attention easily something her and the boys was always proud of.

"Beka!" You cried moving from Jackson throwing yourself into her arms as she held you. Hayley walked up with boys seeing you peppered Rebekah with kisses.

"Nik! You're okay!" You squealed happily giving the hybrid the same treatment as Jackson watched happy for you.

"Oh guys meet Jackson, Hayley's fiancee." You said smiling making the Originals blink confused while Hayley stared at you. While they weren't looking you gave Hayley a mischievous smirk knowing just what you were doing surprising the wolf.

"Fiancee?"

"Yeah. Some old wolf thing." Hayley answered Elijah waving her dismissively while you put on the most innocent look getting Elijah's attention. Both Klaus and Kol knew what you were doing while Elijah had no clue.

"Eli don't you think that maybe we can help Jackson move closer to Hayley or maybe help set up a cabin. So that Jackson isn't away from fiancee?"

Klaus and Kol was smirking as Rebekah stood next to quietly laughing behind her hand. They knew when you were jealous as you would get mischievous and since Hayley seemly liked Elijah, you were going to nip it in the bud.

"You're right baby. Hayley you should be getting to know Jackson and getting the pack together if you want them at faction meetings."

"Right.....Elijah or everything is fine just the way it is."

"But Hayley, 'Lijah right. If you want wolves in on the meetings it best you and Jackson unite the wolves." You tell her pressing closer to Elijah who smiled at you unaware of what you did.

"I'll even help little wolf." Klaus said throwing gas on the fire while Jackson smiled also unaware of what little plan you did.

"Okay." Hayley said sighing as you grinned feeling Elijah kissing your head telling Jackson that they needed to get you home.

"You little minx." Klaus teased sitting on the couch pulling you into his lap.

"I don't know what you are talking about." You tell him faking innocence as Kol joined you both laying his head on your belly listening to the baby.

"Don't worry darling it's our little secret." Kol tells you smiling kissing your belly as you just hummed relaxing enjoying the peace and quiet while it lasted.

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Natsu

A/N: Woowie it has been a while hasn’t it 😅 Writers block can be a bitch but I think I have a few more ideas for the other boys. Let me know who you want me to write for next!!

warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel like you feel like your magic isn’t compatible, cursing

genre: angst to fluff

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting ~ Rogue

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Tension had been running high for Natsu when his fire attacks had been cancelled one after the other by the wind magic user, but when you were the one that accidentally nullified his attack with your water magic, that’s when he completely snapped.

You had taken note of the rising irritation in your boyfriend's behaviour, and you thought that he hadn’t noticed the attack coming his way so in the heat of the moment you decided to step in. As a result, your water extinguished his flames and you both could dodge his attack your opponent’s attack just in time.

“Natsu, I’m so sorry-“ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You were a bit taken back by his sudden tone as he had never yelled at you before. He took notice of your sudden state of shock, but that wasn’t enough to prevent the vicious word from coming from his mouth “Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea? Don’t you see that you’re a nuisance to me? All you do is fuck up my fire and get in my way. I don’t want your magic near me, can you get that through your thick skull?”

“Natsu!” Erza called out to the stressed fire dragon slayer “This is not the time nor the place”

“I won’t get in your way next time” You whispered before heading over to help Lucy with her opponent.

After a while, you overpowered your foes and were now on a train making your way back to Magnolia. You sat next to Lucy, while Carla and Wendy were seated in front of you. Natsu, Gray, Erza and Happy were seated in the boot next to yours.

“(Y/N)” Natsu whined “I’m dying, please help me” You usually summoned some water in the palm of your hand and let it softly swirl against his forehead. For some reason, it helped with the nauseous feeling, and you were about to give in until you realized his words from earlier. He wanted your magic nowhere near him. What if you somehow fucked up and splashed water all over him. You did not want to be yelled at again.

“Tell Natsu I’m asleep or something” You mumbled lowly, so only Lucy could hear, while you laid your head on her shoulder. She gave you a sad smile, knowing the outburst was still fresh on your mind. She complied, making Natsu groan in response but eventually gave up. He didn’t look too much in it as he knew how tired you could get from these jobs.

Once out of the train, you didn’t spare Natsu a second look. You walked in front of everyone, but Erza quickly caught up to walk next to you, while the other looked after the two Dragon Slayers that were still feeling a bit nauseous from the train ride “Are you okay?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked.

Erza clicked her tongue as she looked at you from the corner of her eyes, absolutely not believing the lie that just fell from your tongue “Natsu was way out of line”

“He was just stressed, it can happen to the best of us” You shrugged it off, hoping that if you treated it lightly it wouldn’t weight down later in your mind.

“Still not an excuse to work it out on you” She pointed out.

“I know, thank you for caring, but really Erza, I promise I’m okay.” You gave her a small genuine smile which she returned.

You didn’t return to the guild as the others did, instead, you went home, telling the others you were too tired from the mission to deal with the shenanigans from Fairy Tail. Natsu offered to walk you home, but you kindly denied it, leaving him a bit confused. He realized he should probably give you some space since he lashed out at you. He made a mental note to apologize next thing in the morning when he’d see you.

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Natsu ran over to you and hugged you tightly while spinning you around making you squeal in surprise “put me down, Natsu”

“Only if you forgive me for what happened yesterday,” he said.

“I forgive you. You were stressed, I get it, it’s no big deal” You forgave him.

“I knew you’d understand, you’re the best” He kissed your cheek as he placed you back on your feet “anyway Happy and I found this job and-“

“I think I’m gonna take a day off, still feel a little tired from yesterday, you can go, though, have fun” you cut him off before he could fully explain the mission.

“Alright, make sure you take care of yourself today! I’ll be home as soon as I can, so we can cuddle” He kissed your forehead before turning to the Exceed “Let’s go Happy! Let’s go ask if Lucy wants to join”

That’s how the following weeks went. You always found an excuse to not join Natsu and Happy on the job. Sure you had forgiven him for his outburst since he was under a lot of stress. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but you also knew it could happen to the best of us when you’ve hit your limit. However, you couldn’t help but see some truth in his words.

Your magic was not compatible and made you doubt yourself. You associated yourself strongly with your magic, as every wizard did, so I made you think if you and Natsu were suited for each other. After all, that was one of the many reasons why Natsu and Gray shared such a peculiar friendship.

You had often heard of the saying that opposites attracted, but nothing could be further from the truth. The human race is a narcissistic species and wants nothing more than finding themselves in their significant others. Huge differences might be exciting and fun at first but are bound to break in the long run.

“(Y/N), you wanna go on a mission with us?” Natsu asked as you stood in front of the board with job applications.

“Can’t, I promised Gajeel I-“ You started to explain but cut yourself off when Natsu threw you over his shoulder “Natsu! Let me go! Natsu!”

“No we need to talk,” He said in a serious tone, making you stop struggling against his grip and let him take you outside, so you could talk in private.

“What do you wanna talk about?” You asked softly as you took notice of the sincere expression on his face.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked as his black orbs were searching for answers in your eyes.

“I am not” you deflected his question, but you breaking eye contact as soon as the words past your lips proved you were lying.

“Ever since that day I lashed out at you, you haven’t gone on a mission with me” He pressed.

“That’s not true” you denied once again which made him frown. Why were you dishonest with him?

“Okay, when was the last time we went on a job together?” He asked. Your silence was a clear answer and you both knew it. Your gaze averted to the ground, but he refused to let you shy away from him as he placed a finger under your chin to tilt your head back up until your eyes meet once again. His hand softly from underneath your chin to lay on your cheek “are you still upset with me?”

Your heart shattered at how vulnerable he was right now. His playful antics long replaced by guilt that had been slowly eating away at him for the past days. “No, of course not”

“Then please tell me what I did wrong. I can’t stand the thought of me deliberately hurting you. Please tell me what’s troubling you, so I can fix it” He pleaded.

“Do you-“ You paused to collect your thoughts “do you think we’re right for each other?”

“What do you mean?” 

“That day you said my magic was a nuisance. It got me thinking and you were right. You have to evade my magic so often, and it's all because it isn’t compatible with one another. I just didn’t want to be more of a hinder than I already was, that’s why I started to join others on their jobs just so I wouldn’t mess up yours. I just sometimes wonder if my magic isn’t the only thing that isn’t compatible with you.” You frowned as you hear yourself your insecurities out loud.

“Hey, no, stop. What I said that day was completely out of line. I took my frustration and took them out on you and I shouldn’t have. I have no excuse for how I acted that day. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for making you feel bad. So what if we’re a little different. I thought you always liked a good challenge?” He apologized.

“Sure I like the thrill of our relationship, but it doesn’t take away from the fact our magic isn’t suitable for one another. I just think we’re setting ourselves up for failure. A challenge is fun for a little while but we both know that stability is what you need if you want a relationship to survive in the long run” You explained.

“Then we’ll defy those odds. I’ll show everyone and especially you that you don’t need something like psychology to prove if a relationship will work or not. Please let me prove to you how much I can love you and let me prove to you that I’ll eventually become that stability you crave.” He vowed. “I always thought you weren’t one to be quick on giving up when things get rough”

“I’m not, I just don’t want to put my heart out there if I know from the start it’ll only get broken” You uttered somberly.

“I promise you it won’t. I’ll love you with every fiber in my body until the day I die. I will never make you doubt yourself or our relationship again” He told you, sincerity audible in his voice.

You smiled softly at him as your arms sneaked around his waist while your head laid on his chest. His arms immediately reacted at your touch, shielding you away from the world as his lips planted a soft kiss on your head “I love you”

[celestialrry]

stood up

3.5k

hello everyone!!!! I've been awol for literally weeks because i had absolutely NO motivation to write but i finally finished this piece ˊᗜˋ so YAY. ALSOO thank you for following me, liking, and reblogging my pieces (it encourages me somuchsothankyouireallyappreciateit-- and remember reblogging really helps us writers :))) )  here’s a hug for all ur patience and feel free to send me asks or requests i love talking to you guys! ε(♡'-')з

summary: Harry keeps standing Y/N up. (request from @ballerinrry! thank u love)

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol and sex, angsty but with a happy ending cause for some reason i can never let them end on a bad note

Y/N was excited.

It had been a while since Harry had asked her to go on a date, it was always the other way around recently. She couldn’t blame him though, Y/N knew just how busy Harry always was, and it wasn’t like he was purposefully not asking her to go do things, he just had a lot on his plate.

That’s what she kept telling herself anyways. 

It’s what she told herself when it had been 2 weeks since they had even eaten a meal together, and given the fact that just a few months ago Harry had come back to London for a while, that was rare. So, Y/N asked him to grab lunch on a Saturday while they were lying in bed together, and when he agreed, but failed to show up, leaving Y/N sitting at the cafe, her lips morphed into a frown and her eyes not focusing on the phone in front of her, she told herself he was simply booked up with meetings and studio time and such. 

Thats what he told her when he got into bed that night to apologize for accidentally standing her up. She forgave him, of course, and suggested they could just get dinner the next week. He agreed, even walked around to his calander her to show her he was marking the date off in his calendar with a heart, her first initial, and 7:00 PM etched into the little box with red sharpie. 

So, the week passed with quick kisses of good mornings and good nights, and while Harry was gone Y/N had on a black dress she had been excited to wear for a while now, with those little mini silver heels and a coat strung over her shoulders as she sat on her couch waiting for Harry to swing by to pick her up. She shot him a text that simply asked “You otw? xx”

He was not.

It took about 30 minutes of waiting on their couch to realize he was standing her up, again. And it took until the next morning for Harry to see her text (his phone had been on do not disturb while he was at the studio and he ended up spending the night at Sarah and Mitch’s after a few beers), and for the guilt to seep through his veins. 

He apologized, again. And Y/N forgave him, again. 

Only until it got to the point where Y/N no longer remembered the amount of times Harry had stood her up, for being at the studio, or sleeping after a meeting, or simply just not paying attention to his phone, she knew there was a problem. 

Harry was fully aware of the problem too. He knew that this was no way to ever treat a partner, and if someone was doing this to him, he’d dump them— well, he’s never been one to end a relationship unless it was necessary, so that’s an exaggeration, but it’s the principle of the thing. 

Which is why when he got home one day around 11 PM, gave her a kiss to the forehead after she sat up in their bed to give him a hug, and a soft  “Can we talk?” escaped her lips, he knew he had to fix this. So he asked her if they could talk over dinner the next night, he just wanted to sleep but also wanted to fix things with his girl, asking her if she was free of course, before telling her he’s gonna make a reservation at that nice restaurant the two of them used to go to quite often, because “it’s been a while since I’ve taken my favorite girl out”.

A grin broke out on her face because he had asked her! And if Harry was planning it, there’s no way he’d cancel or stand her up. 

 So yeah, Y/N was excited.

She woke up that morning with a smile on her face, and something akin to a what she thinks a rainbow would feel like running through her veins. It had only been a few months since she’d last been on a date with her boyfriend of almost 2 years and a half in person, and she was going to make the most of it. Because after this date, things would change. They’d spend more time together again and it would be like this little bump (that neither had acknowledged) never happened.

Y/N did, well, everything to prepare. Took a long shower, shaved, put on that coconut lotion Harry likes— he tended to dig his face in her neck when he smelled it while holding her—, brushed her teeth more than 3 times, dug in her closet to find that one patterned soft purple dress she bought ages ago but never had a change to wear it, until now, put on those really cute heels Harry said he liked once (“Looks like something you’d wear on a runway pet, I love ‘em.”), and even styled her hair differently than normal.

He had told her he would swing by at 8 on the dot after the studio, and soon enough, it was 8, with no sign from the man who made the promise himself. Y/N thought maybe there was traffic, he was just running late, texted him a quick, “Can’t wait to see you!! xxx” and put her phone on the coffee table, waiting on their couch. 

8 turned to 9, 9 turned to 10, 10 turned to 11, and soon it was midnight. Y/N doesn’t think she’d ever felt more empty than how she felt then, walking to their shared room of a year, slipping off her heels and tossing them towards the closet, as well as pulling her dress over herself and letting it fall to the floor behind her, grabbing that one t-shirt she always wears when she needs comfort (which just happened to an extra 2018 Live on Tour shirt Harry had laying around that she snatched just 3 months into them dating), and flopping into bed.  

She couldn’t fall asleep, and instead spent her time curled up in their bedsheets, a steady flow of tears making their way down her blush covered cheeks.

。:°ஐ

Harry usually didn’t make mistakes.

Sure, he had his moments, grabbing the wrong coffee off the counter when his name was called at the cafe, forgetting to text Jeff that he actually couldn’t make it to a meeting that was scheduled in a few hours. Just little things, things that didn’t matter that much, and could always be fixed. He didn’t usually make mistakes that weren’t easy to fix. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

Until, he was.

Harry loved Y/N. He loved having her around, loved spending time with her, loved loving on her, loved kissing her, loved touching her, loved the way she went about almost everything. He was so in love with her, that hurting her was out of the question. He never wanted to be the one to make her cry, make her bottom lip quiver before the tears rushed out like he’d seen many times before, due to movies, his songs (which as sadistic as it sounds was an ego builder to have someone so close to him so affected by the music he wrote), her school work, or even her friends that weren’t being so nice.

In fact, he was so in love with her, even being so afraid of commitment (it took him over a year of them dating to ask her to move in), all he wanted to do was blurt out those 4 dreaded words. “Will you marry me?” It was a bond for life, and he was terrified of that, but with Y/N all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his living days with her.

When Harry had come back from being in L.A. for so long and finally being in the same city as his girlfriend back at their home, all they did was spend time together. Every time he saw Y/N all he wanted to do was say those 4 words that he hadn’t even fully come to terms with himself. It was dangerous, and Harry’s self control when it came to Y/N was lacking, so he simply did was every normal person would do in his situation.

He stood her up. 

Many more times than he could count, and of course he felt like the shittiest person in the world— shittiest boyfriend in the world—but at least now she can’t possibly be under the impression that he wanted to marry her, which is what he wanted. Or thought he wanted, until Sarah called him up one day after he had stood Y/N up for dinner the night before and told him off. Told Harry just how fucking terrible he made Y/N feel, how unwanted she thought she was, how she felt like they were loosing their relationship, and Harry didn’t know what to do with himself. (Of course Y/N had sobbed to Sarah about it over the phone while she was drunk off the wine she opened 40 minutes after Harry said he would be there, so she really didn’t even remember the conversation).

And later that day Harry had come home, heard her wavering voice asking if they could talk, and decided in his head he would tell her how he felt, how sorry he was, and how he wanted to be with her forever and love her forever if she allowed him. He had a few expectations for their dinner, that Y/N would probably tell him how he’s made her feel, and Harry would apologize, tell her why he did it, explain he thought it was no excuse, then tell her he plans on marrying her (obviously not proposing just yet, but finally bringing up the conversation they had never had even though they were in a serious committed relationship) and they’d go back home, have the most amazing sex ever, and forget about the whole thing. 

What Harry didn’t expect was to get a call from Jeff around 5 asking him to come to the studio to fix few vocals, then end up nailing down 2 songs in one night, go to a bar with the band to celebrate, get drunk, then pass out at Mitch and Sarahs flat. 

But that’s what happened, according to Mitch, who woke Harry up the very next morning. 

“Good morning man, wakey wakey,” Mitch’s teasing tone echoed through Harry’s (what felt like full of vodka) brain as he groaned and squinted his eyes. “Why are you waking me up at this hour in the morning?” Harry asked drearily, sighing and simultaneously regretting last night as a whole because the last thing he wanted to do while hungover was be up before at least 9 AM.

“We’ve gotta go to meet with Jeff about tour in like a hour, H” Mitch stated .

At Mitch’s words Harry sat up on their couch, eyes wide in fear. “Wait mate, I thought tha’ meeting was on Wednesday.”

“It is Wednesday H, god how drunk did we let you get last night…” Mitch said, beginning to recount some of Harry’s antics the night before. Harry however, couldn’t hear a thing with the blood pumping through his ears. If today was Wednesday, that meant yesterday was Tuesday, and he went and got trashed at a bar with his friends Tuesday night when— when he was supposed to be on a date with Y/N, when he was supposed to confess his intentions, when he was supposed to apologize for standing her up over and over, yet instead he went and did it again.

Now this, this was a mistake.

“…H. H. Harry? Are you there?” Mitch’s voice came back into focus and Harry shook his head. “I- fuck, I was supposed to take Y/N out last night.” Harry said, his voice trembling.

‘I’m sure she’ll forgive you, it’s just one night.” Mitch tried to make Harry feel better. He knew Y/N was a very forgiving person, she would get over this in no time.

“No, she won’t. I-I’ve stood her up for the past month and a half, Mitch.”

At these words, Mitch stands straight up  making pained eye contact with Sarah in the kitchen who was overhearing most of this conversation with her eyes wide. She had no idea it was this bad. “Month and a half? I thought it was just that one time a few weeks ago, Harry what the hell is wrong with you?” Harry simply shook his head and didn’t reply. He had absolutely no idea how to make it up to her. “I-fuck, I don’t know Mitch!” Harry raised his voice. “I need to see her and apologize, now.” Harry said, standing up and rushing over to the front door and slipping on his shoes. 

“This meeting is mandatory Harry, as much as I want you to see her too, she’d probably still asleep, and I don’t think this can be solved in under an hour.” Mitch said calmly, already knowing Harry was close to walking out his door. Harry stayed silent for a moment, weighing the options. Either go apologize to his girlfriend, or prioritize himself over her again. 

“We can do it another day, I’m sorry, but I have to go see her, tell Jeff I feel sick.” And he walked out without another word.

。:°ஐ

The morning after Harry stood Y/N up again was brutal. 

She stayed up all night, replaying moments with Harry in her head, analyzing if he wanted to be there with her, wondering if maybe he felt like he had to stay with her out of pity. It was torture, and the pain seemed to turn into numbness as time went by, and eventually the sun came up, and she stayed in bed, her motivation lost.

A loud crash and “Fuck!” woke her up, swollen eyes fluttering open to the invasive noise. Y/N furrowed her brows, her mind connecting everything that happened yesterday and unfortunately reminding her of the unbearable pain she went through the night before. A groan escaped her lips as she sat up and flung her legs out of her bed sheets that had been flung off the bed in the middle of the night.  She began grumbling to herself as she made her way downstairs, ready to tell Harry off for making so much noise.

Her mouth stopped moving, and instead remained in limbo as her eyes met Harry’s. His mouth opened to speak, but his words were caught in his throat as he saw the state she was in. It was when her mouth pressed into a line that he could begin talking. “Y/N, baby, please I know you don’t wanna see me or talk t’me right now but I’m so fuckin’ sorry, love. So so sorry, it was an accident, I went t’ the studio to fix a few things then got hung up on the songs and by the time we went to celebrate I completely lost track of time, and I was too drunk to drive home so I crashed at Mitch’s.”

Her mouth fell open at his words. Everything was happening too fast. Hearing that he stood her up to drink at a fucking bar to celebrate himself, then coming home and accidentally knocking over a glass in their kitchen (which she put together was the crash earlier after seeing the shards of broken glass on the floor) frustrated her to no end. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him any longer, and Harry had stopped talking after realizing what he just admitted to her. Without another glance, instead of looking at Y/N’s tear stained face, all he saw was her back, walking up the stairs to their room. 

“Fuck,” He said to himself before following her up the pink stairs. “Y/N, love wait-please, I’m so sorry, I just need to talk to you, I need to explain myself, please.” He begged as she shut their bedroom door in his face, his voice turning into a desperate whine at the end. 

。:°ஐ

It’s been 3 days since then, and she hasn’t spoken to him. He would leave in the mornings, kissing her forehead and mumbling an “I love you” and telling her exactly what time he’d be home, before leaving and coming back on time to find an empty plate in the sink and her lying in their bed, whether it be reading, scrolling on her phone, or typing on her laptop. He would apologize many times, reaching his hand out for hers and she would simply situate herself in their bed and lay down, back turned to him. 

Harry just couldn’t take it anymore. 

It was when she had finally let him kiss her forehead goodnight that he decided to take his chance. “Y/N.” He spoke softly, with no response or anything to indicate she heard him. “Baby, can we please talk- or I’ll talk and you listen, I just- I really need to say some things.” 

She was still faced away from him when he leaned against their headboard and he decided to keep going. 

“I- um. I’m sure you know how sorry I am, but I really am- sorry I mean. Not just for tonight but for every other time I’ve stood you up. I’m so sorry for not showing you how much you matter to me, and how much the things you do matter to me.”

It was then that she slowly sat up next to him and looked at him, eyes begging him to continue. He blushed at her intense eye-contact that he had barely gotten over the past few days and took a breath, opting to look at his hands fidgeting in his lap.

“We’ve been together for 2 and almost a half years, which is the longest relationship I’ve been in, and it’s no excuse to treat you this way, but I had just been thinking about how things progress even further than now,” He coughs. “Which is marriage, and when I finally came home, all I wanted to do was ask you to marry me- I don’t- m’not proposing right now, I just- I got really scared because wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone is crazy to me,

I’ve never thought that way about anyone else until you, I didn’t even really want to get married before you, and I started to distance myself before I ended up telling you this, but obviously that blew up in my face.” He chuckled a bit, locking eyes with her unreadable ones for a moment and lifting a hand to run through his hair. “What I’m trying to say, is that I love you, so so much, and I plan on marrying you— obviously if you want to too, of course— and I’m so sorry for trying to make you think that I didn’t care about you anymore or love you any less, because it’s the complete opposite of that.”

His eyes were watery now, as he started down at his interlocked fingers, and his eyes widened when her hand was gently placed over his own. “Harry,” Y/N began. “Look at me, please.” 

His head lifted to see her facing him, her brows knitted and a small smile on her face. “I forgive you, okay? I could tell you were kind of scared of commitment when we first started dating, and I wish I could say your reason for standing me up is surprising but it’s not.” They both chuckled a bit at this. “I- I’m still upset at you, I need you to know that, because 2 months of thinking the love of your life is avoiding you doesn’t feel all too great, so you suck for that,” she said, planting a quick kiss to his cheek which quickly turned pink. “But Harry, even if you asked me to marry you a year ago I would have said yes. I love you, so much, and I plan on spending the rest of my life with you as well. I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment, it was… unnecessary and immature. So, thank you for apologizing. I love you.” She confessed again.

“S’okay, I deserved it, and I love you too. Maybe even more. So um, we’re okay?” Harry asked, a hopeful smile on his face. 

She nodded with a smile and pulled him into a much needed hug and pulled away only for him to bring her into an even more needed kiss. “If you ever try to pull that shit again, I’m breaking up with you.” She laughed and he tackled her into the sheets hiding his face in her neck.

“Duly noted, love. Duly noted.”

[bamsidsuperbitch]

Sidney didn't really do the whole hook up thing, but she wasn't going to judge Tatum for doing so, as long as she was safe doing it.

Sidney leaned more on learning new things to do, as it kept her mind occupied.

A curse? yeah. That was one way to put it.

Randy was the most recent to go, though she really didn't talk about that one too much, she felt that was her fault too.

It should've been her instead.

She snapped out of her thoughts when Tatum spoke up again, a wide grin forming on her lips.

" Bonus if it's a little bit of Swayze too, amiright? "

God. she missed when it was this simple.

Just her and her friend giggling over the newest or even personal heartthrobs of the time.

She just wanted someone she could feel truly secure around.

But she knew it started with herself no less, learning to not worry so much.

She had to admit though, Derek was a major upgrade from Billy.

He showed her affection without ulterior motives and never felt like she had to rush for anything.

He even forgave her, said he never hurt her. The last words she ever heard from him.

Perhaps that's why she was drawn to him. He showed her a side she had never experienced before.

Even before her doubts began, she felt secure.

Something she questioned often around Billy.

" Pfft, Totally. Imagine how crazy it would be? "

" So, there's no one special in your life right now? "

Well that was new, being asked something along those lines, it was definitely not something the girl was ready for-but to get into it? It really wasn't the right time, nor did she even want to, so she'd settle for a small facade to cover up where her mind really was.

"Romantically no. There's only so much partying and stupid decisions one girl can make." After Stu, she stopped putting out so much, it was clear she was hurting, but most girls would after finding that out, shaking out her thoughts and her dazed expression before lifting up to meet the others eyes and raised her arms up in an inquisitive manner, before she spoke to lighten up the mood.

"There's no telling what might happen out there though, right?"

[shardofhope-fanfic]

Hello! Welcome to my brand new, and extra stupid Tumblr! I figured if I was on twitter, I also should post my stories somewhere that would raise my blood pressure a little less. As this is my first post, I figured I should create a master post of my Omori Fanficiton with all the links to A03 for your connivence! This will be updated as more things are written, changed, ect.

My main page, however, can be found HERE

If you want to support my writing, and perhaps throw me some money for rat treats, I have a Ko-fi! You can find that HERE

Finished long form works.

Mari Suzuki's Overly Busy Afterlife. (Alt Cannon/Universe, Mari lives, sorta)

Mari never left Sunny after the accident. She forgave him and promised she would stay until he was ready to tell the truth. Until he was strong enough.

Four years of staying with her gremlin shut in brother has made her slightly regret that promise. Well, more then slightly.

A retelling with a ghost, and a brother with no survival instinct.

Their Time (Post Bad End/Heavy)

Sunny thought he had the strength to tell them and live on after beating Omori. He was wrong. He flung himself off the roof, so he could die without hurting his friends any longer. He was wrong in two respects.

One, they all saw him do it.

And two, he had been falling for several hours.

Now two endings, for your preference.

Featuring an OST created by the lovely Herolich2, which can be found at the bottom of every chapter.

Long term works still in progress.

Dread hunt (Post true ending/ Monster hunting AU)

Sunny told the truth and left Faraway in the dust, never intending to return. With the truth out, he was free. However, something followed from his former home, intending on finishing the job it started.

However, instead Sunny gains a new purpose. After all...

If it bleeds, it can be killed. And Sunny intends to end Something, if it's the last thing he will ever do

Culinary Conversations (Post true ending/ fluffy with supernatural elements)

Sunny is trying his best, he really is. But his own overactive imagination continues to haunt him, even after the Omori was defeated. The road to recovery is long and hard, but for right now he just wants to finish cooking his fried rice.

However, there is an imp in his kitchen telling him that life isn't worth living. What did he do to deserve this?

One shot's and Short Finished works.

Garden Raiding For Fun and Polyamo-profit. (Goofy poly fic)

Sunny and Kel have been happily dating for almost two years now, and things are going amazing! Sunny however, has felt something missing, and has sought to fix that Issue. However, letting Kel plan was perhaps not the best idea in the world.

Meanwhile, someone is trying to break into Basil's house at 3 am. He should be more worried, but he gets distracted.

Sunny the Trash Mammal (A Crack stuffed, 20K word sunflower pile of absurd words. With Cotton Candy, for flavor.)

What happens when you chicken out of confessing so many times, your brain wants to strangle you? You get turned into a odd rat hybrid by your head roommate of course.

Cursed with Rat features and traits until he confesses to Basil, Sunny must fight his newfound instincts, as well as hide his new affliction. Surely nothing can go wrong....Right?

Mari Prays The Gay Away (Homophobic satire and crack. Not to be taken seriously, at all.)

Mari was always the golden child, despite her many, many flaws. Like her gullibility combined with her own narcissism. So when she gets honey potted by an absurdly hot and absurdly religious redhead, she returns home on spring break with a unique viewpoint. Upon returning home, and facing many temptations, prays a bit too hard. she must now retrieve them from the depths of hell, not because it's the right thing to do, but for her own benefit.

(Or in which, Mari accidentally sends anyone not straight right to hell, and is tasked with retrieving them.)

TW: Homophobia, Mild Racism, and a lot of conservative bullshit. (all played for laughs, and showing how batshit most of it is.)

School Speedrun (Post Cannon fluff/Crackfic)

The gang takes far too long to realize that Sunny has been ditching school in his new town to hang out at Basil's house. They think he's a delinquent.

They are wrong.

We're Hosed. (Pre-cannon fluff and childhood stupidity.)

Roused from his sugar coma on their Halloween sleepover, Basil pleads for Sunny to fix his leaky bathroom faucet. As it's driving the blonde nuts. Should be easy, right?

Poly Pillowtalk (Fluffy, Post cannon one bed fic)

The gang kidnaps Sunny to spend Christmas with them. However, a blizzard settles in and they only managed to get a room with one bed. An argument ensues, both sure that they are the object of interest. Turns out Sunny was more sneaky than they thought.

A challenge my wonderful SO. Merry Christmas you degenerate.

Sunny is GAS-LIT by some fucking fruits (A stupid little Drabble)

Sunny can't put his finger on it, but something is up. All his friends were always girls...right?

A silly little one-shot made to poke fun of another story on here... Also, Hero is named Pita, for reasons.

Dumpster Diveing for Love. (Crack Pairing for a friend)

Sweetheart had everything, except sprout moles that could get her the correct flavor of chips. While she's doing it herself, she spots a rather strange specimen and finds herself fascinated.

A little gift for my dear friend Priska (AKA LoveingLetters)

ON HIATUS (Until further notice)

Wander Forth And Carry On (Post True ending with a strange new Headspace)

[tabletopmayhem]

We lost another NPC tonight during Vampires.  RIP.

Carina Angelina Garza

Died:  2002

Clan: Ventrue

Bloodline:  Nahualli

Covenant:  Invictus

Rank:  Viscountess

Bio:  A woman from the Iberian Peninsula region of Spain, Carina was born and lived on the road, the daughter of a teacher who traveled between various small towns. Her father died when she was young, and her mother eventually found a position as a nanny for a wealthy family hunting for new opportunity in America.

Carina moved across the sea, following her mother’s work, and they settled in Minneapolis.  The employer’s family opened a great many flour mills, becoming quite wealthy, but Carina felt stifled as the mere daughter of a servant; observing their wealth but forever denied luxury.  She hated her humble background, hated her mother’s contentment.  Eventually she ran away, making a living as a seamstress and pickpocket, wasting her money on trifles and vice.

When the Kindred war came to Minneapolis and burned it down, she found herself caught in the chaos and flames, and it was there she saw Him.  The Butcher of Boston, Lachlan Doyle, a mad charismatic man of boundless egoism and power.  He saved her life by accident in the shadow of a burning building, and she felt her soul forever bound to his worship. 

She became his mortal lover, though it was doubtful he even knew her name.

Chasing him gave her nothing, and when he left the city in ruins she sank into despair.  Eventually her hunting of the dark corners of the earth, seeking Mages, Hunters of the unnatural, anyone with arcane knowledge…it bore fruit.  A Vampire, a maddened unsteady creature, found her in an alley and embraced her into darkness.

Her newfound blood was unstable, her Beast restless, angry, and untrained as her Sire abandoned her.  Cursed as a Nuhalli, a Kindred with a Beast forever seeking to snap its tethers, she renewed her hunt for the Butcher, the man she loved.

Unfortunately, he had gone into the slumber of torpor, locked away from the world.

Purpose in undeath unfulfilled, Beast constantly at the edge of madness, eventually she found the next best thing to the Butcher.  A boy who looked like him, with bright blue eyes and ginger hair, and a face of solemn contemplation.  Despite his age being barely past eighteen, she embraced the boy, heedless of his personality or temperament, only caring about his face.  She cursed him like her sire had cursed her, knowing nothing of Beast or Blood, hating both instead of understanding them.

They were immediately at odds.

Her Childe, her lover, was a far cry from the man she idolized.  He was cold, calculating, ruthless, and unmoved by her temper and emotional displays.  Their romance was as doomed as her previous vampiric love; he never forgave her for what she had done to him.  Eventually she abandoned him, hoping he would suffer without her, and moved to bask in the lights and shallow comforts of Los Angeles.  Miserable and unwilling to find a balance with her own Beast, she pushed it down again and again until it inevitably exploded.

Her bloodbaths became legendary in the Invictus.

When the Butcher came to destroy Los Angeles in its turn, she did everything she could to make him notice her…but he didn’t even remember her.  Embittered, she returned to her Childe to try and torture him for her previous lover’s crimes, but found him too powerful, too entrenched.  They fought, they struggled, and with no real purpose or goal she found herself on the losing end.

A sadly common thread for her.

In her singular focus, denying both her Beast and the potential of her blood, she had no power, no friends, and no recourse.

With no other place to go, she once again followed the Butcher, hoping against hope he would notice her devotion. Instead she witnessed him loving another, giving her everything Carina had ever hoped for.  Her clumsy machinations failed, and her social graces were sabotaged by her vicious beast.   She was doomed from the day she was embraced.

In the end, Carina once again turned to leave the mess she had made.

When she tried to depart the city she was caught in the web of a vicious Elder set on destroying all Kindred and was murdered for nothing more than the strength of her blood.  

The blood she had always fought against.

Perhaps at last its true potential could be harnessed by another.

RIP Carina.