#// and even tho it's literally been 3 years since i last updated that blog...

[demonsfate]

If anything, Panda is the best wingman(?). Who would've thought she'd be the one picking Xiao's outfit? Also, I agree with the other anon, hopefully she'll be more involved in the story, which seems to be that way. But like you said, it's hard to tell. On the other hand, we really can't expect much character depth from fighting games, although I recall you mentioned MK had lots of content and you can at least see characters interacting a lot

I think it's really cute. And I think it's cool that Panda is back in the involvement of Xiao and Jin. Just because I thought it was a lil silly that Panda turned down Xiao's requests because she uh... didn't want to get herself killed because pandas are an endangered species? I guess because it's 2023 and that's not really true for Pandas anymore, she has no more excuses! But it was kinda funny in the first place given that Panda was intended as Xiao's bodyguard, yet is worried about herself dying because of the (now previously) current state of her species. Like isn't that counterproductive given she was supposed to be Xiao's bodyguard? Anyway, it's cool to see Panda having more involvement. With Kuma also having more inspiration by his master, maybe the bears will also have something a lil more to do with the story this time around.

As for Xiao, I do feel like she's definitely gonna be more involved in the story. Seeing as supposedly, most of the characters may play a part in the story? I think I heard something like that. Which would make sense, considering this story is supposedly bigger than 7's, and is "bigger" than just the Kaz/Jin conflict. And also, a lot of the characters sound like they have more serious bios than they did in 7. But we'll see, we'll see.

The problem with fighting game stories is that... they HAVE to write a story that explains why these characters are all fighting each other, and have it be plausible. Sometimes, it's hard to do depth this way when it's kind of a restrained form of storytelling. However, on to the topic of MK compared to Tek real quick. Since MKX, not only do all the characters have unique intros against each other, but they tend to have MULTIPLE intros. This not only gives more depths to the characters personalities, but also to each relationship the character has in the game. I was REALLY hoping that's what Tek8 was doing when I saw Jun and Kazuya have a unique intro. Sadly, they just... for some reason... chose not to go the extra mile the MK games did, and only CERTAIN characters have special intros.

MK is far from perfect, too, though. I actually prefer most of the character design in Tek, and I may even prefer the characters in general in Tek. Even the more boring characters in Tek tend to just be one exaggerated personality trait (Josie being a crybaby for example, or Katarina being very vulgar) that it could still make them entertaining even if they are One Beat. Meanwhile in MK, especially in MK1, the most boring characters are just... boring. They don't even have a gimmick in their personality. I particularly find myself being bored by Li Mei and Tanya's characters in MK1. And well, MK's lore also has its problems. (As I just wrote up a rant regarding my favorite character and his depiction in MK1. Not nearly as offensive as Tek6!Jin's... but still quite disappointing) But MK's lore, is, still... more consistent than Tek's. Even if it does get messy here and there. (There were... other issues with MK1, but I won't get into them for the sake of not spoiling much, aand also this isn't an MK blog LOL)

Imo, MK does game modes better than Tek, as well as letting most their roster characters get a spot in the story (without treating ANY of them as total jokes. For example, Johnny Cage is a funny character... he's a comic relief. But you're meant to laugh with Johnny and his antics. He's still a good guy who does have his importance. Meanwhile, if Johnny was a Tek character... he would've just been a joke who's seen as a "pathetic loser" that we all laugh at. He'd go nowhere.) MK also tends to have funnier humor, too. Like previous Tek games have been funny - in fact, Tek6 can be pretty funny at times. But oftentimes the humor is more juvenile, and Tek7 was the worst offender of this. And some ppl have TRIED to say "oh, that's just because Tek is Japanese humor, you just don't get it!" And that's... very untrue. Because I've watched a few Japanese things that are either comedic or just have some comedy peppered into it - and I've seen ones that made me laugh my ass off. Even the more "bizarre" humor ones, or maybe especially those. But Tek7 just never did that for me. I found myself more annoyed or experiencing second hand embarrassment when watching the "funny scenes" in Tek7.

Anyway, I wish Tek would've done the unique intros like MK did. But oh well. I can only hope they offer more gameplay modes (whiiich arcade quest might be doing) for single players, and better characterization in both the main story, and the individual character endings. Also, I REALLY hope it has a satisfying, somewhat challenging last boss because HOO BOY that was probably MK1's biggest disappointment.

[melverie]

if you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog! (sorry if you already got this!)

Sorry it took a bit to answer anon. College and work have been killing me these past few days^^;

01 - I speak five languages (German, French, English, Japanese and Korean) at varying levels of proficiency. I actually had my Korean final yesterday and I'd say it went pretty well 👀 Also I learned Italian for a while, though I only remember some basic phrases, how to say one idiom & how to flirt

02 - Ever since the Sins of Flesh update I've been SO obsessed with Cult of the Lamb again. These past few days the game icon just kept staring into my soul while I was trying my best to stay strong and focus on studying Speaking of being obsessed over games, once the new Professor Layton game releases I'm going to be SO annoying. Those games were my childhood :)

03 - When planning out a story, I have the habit of writing the plot details out on flashcards and putting them up on my walls. I get embarrassed over it whenever someone other than a select group of friends come over though, so when someone else visits I usually end up taking them down only to hang them back up once that person is gone lol

Bonus fact!

This one is probably going to MASSIVELY wrap everyone's view of me, but I feel like half of the more creative school work I submitted ended up being fandom related:

In eighth grade, we were supposed to write a two page long story about a murder case, and I just made it a Professor Layton x Phoenix Wright crossover. I even took one of the cases from Phoenix Wright as the base for my story, and I only barely changed the names, so you could EASILY tell that it was fanfiction

I got my English teacher to watch Assassination Classroom because we had to give a 3 minute presentation on something we liked. That's the same teacher that made one of his tests entirely about Batman btw, he was great <3 I also got my math teacher to watch the anime AND read the manga because I asked him about one math problems from it that I just didn't get. He wrote down the solution and literally programmed a little something to help me better understand how to get there. Another great teacher <3

Had to write a three-word story (you're given three words as prompts and have to built a short story around them), except one of the words was "chinchilla". I ended up writing about a "killer chinchilla" which is just the nickname my sister gave Minccino

I once ended up the state winner in a nation-wide art competition with a Pokémon ORAS-themed watercolor drawing I did (that piece was graded, so I'm counting it toward school work)

We were tasked with drawing a picture inspired by a song. I took My Hero Academia's first ED and made the drawing itself about My Hero Academia as well. Burnt through way too many pencils for this one. They hung it right next to the teachers' room, idk if it's still there tho

That same year we were also tasked with "building a creative trash can", and so I decided to make a little Korok that collects paper waste in a little bag. I also learned how to sew in order to make the bag, so that's cool (pic below!)

I somehow convinced my teacher to let me write my seminar paper on My Hero Academia

In elementary school, my friend group came up with a play set in Animal Crossing, and I ended up writing the entire thing (as in literally writing it so that you could act it out in Animal Crossing itself). That wasn't school work by any means, but regardless, I still very much did print it out just so I could give it to my homeroom teacher, so there's that

Also not school work, but once again in seventh grade I wrote an Animal Crossing New Leaf fanficiton (???) where you could vote what would happen next on the end of every chapter. A good portion of my class read it and I also made my PE teacher read the first chapter

That's by far not all of it but those were the first few things that popped into mind. Anyway, here's the pic of my little Korok paper waste collector!

[starry-nocturne]

★ announcements

SOOO! Guess who is back as full blown graduated adult with a bachelor's degree under her belt ✌ And a serious lack of sleep. And pretty darn sick. Oops.

Not to get nostalgic here but this blog has been around since 2017, back when I was in highschool, so being able to say I've survived uni is... kind of a great feat on its own? I recently realized that Ryo has been around for more than 8 years and wow. Isn't that a big number.

Anyways! Now that I have more time I'll slowly go back to doing stuff in here. Hopefully. I really don't want to say anything like "this time I'm definitely doing this thing" because people who have known me for a bit know my motivation is prone to fluctuate a lot </3

So, if I manage to find the motivation and the missing energy, I'd like to:

Work on sprites. Pretty sure I'll fix the last ones I showed here since they're only missing expressions. Not a quality I'm that convinced with but I want to use some art that's my own >< I'm already working on new ones tho,, I also want to work on more art that's not only 5 minute doodles but that will probably take a bit longer...

Writing of some kind. I mean yeah. I've been beating around the bush for years now but even if it's just drabbles and short fics I want to start putting out all my ideas and concepts. Especially lore decisions I've taken that are very relevant to the story and I,, haven't mentioned. Also a route. Two routes, one per blog (at least). I would also like to work on a couple of AUs that been eating my mind for years now <3

More original characters stuff. Who close friends and/or old followers might know about because I literally cannot shut up about all the OCs I have for this series but at least making some sort of profiles so people don't go ??? when I mention a million new names. I think that'd be great

More Mizuki. Yes this is an actual point in here because she needs more attention and I love her dearly. No one told me handling two blogs would be so complicated oof

Update rules, organization etc. Make the blog(s) a bit more user friendly, cohesive and fix the masterlists ^^

But most of all I want to interact with people here ;; I need to think about how to go about it because I have severe social anxiety and reaching out to people is. Awfully hard TT I'll probably make a post in the future so mutuals who are interested feel free to keep an eye out? 🙏 My DMs are always open too!

Anyways, thank you for supporting this messy blog for so long >< <3

[irregulardiaryposts]

20:40 07/03/2024

okay wow well its been well over two years since i updated this 'diary' blog lol

so weird seeing all those old posts about being a teenager with existential thoughts lol i dont really think like that anymore, at least not so much. i guess an update is in order then lmao okay so im in my 3rd year of uni now and im doing my year abroad! doing it in a small city in spain and i really quite like my job, ive only got 14hrs, i have a 3 day weekend, the city is small so i can walk everywhere and this job really gives me a sense of purpose that ive been missing in my life. makes me really realise that university is NOT for me lmfao i was so depressed during my second year i probs went to like 20% of my classes loool. im pretty sure i mightve almost failed aswell but since the professors were doing a marking boycott they released grades without marking the final exam and so since i was already doing well enough in all my classes i passed! quite lucky i think cos i wouldve been so entirely embarrassed and ashamed if i had to repeat a year cos of mental health. i think things are better here tho my issues havent disappeard completely like eg i have these evening classes 6-7.40pm tuesdays and thursdays and for the past like month i havent attended :/ at first it was cos i was sick (i think it was covid lol either from glasgow or on the plane back idk) and then i just didnt go back to class. i think my main excuse is that that is dinner time for me and i dont wanna move dinner time lol. but also i think the class itself is just not for me i dont feel like i learn a whoooole lot while im there and learning on apps is easier for me? but i always felt better for going to the classes cos i was like ha! im not depressed would a depressed person do this!? but of course depression doesnt work like that and i think i need medicated ! but that seems too scary to say. but at least i found someone to do a language exchange with! ive only had one hour with her in spanish, which was yesterday, but i already feel like ive improved lmaooo like i literally dreamt last night in a mix of spanish and english ahahahah cos when i think about it i literally have not ever regularly spoken spanish, ive only really spoken for activies in class or speaking exams so no wonder i have 0000 confidence in my speaking abilities but im hopeful that this will really improve my speaking :) about my job i guess- i work in a high school and i really enjoy interacting with the kids they really do make every day different and more interesting so i am grateful for them but sometimes damnnn sometimes i wanna jump out the window especially with this third year class they are the class KNOWN for being a bitof a pain lol and sometimes i have to lead the class by myself lmaooo mid u ik im 20 but i dont look it and they certainly dont treat me like an adult or a teacher and ngl they are a bit disrespectful at times but also what are u gonna do they are 14 and i have no proper teaching experience to help them by myself i can only hope that im actuallt helping them learn english lol. it is quite difficult tho with my scottish accent to try and sound as clear as possible because i pronounce almost 100% of the vowel sounds differently than rp english which is what i think they are used to so i have to realllyyyy annunciate all my words and man is it tiring lol.

what else. im going to madrid this weekend with bestie and im really looking forward to having a relaxing and fun time but i still havent packed my bags looooooool i alwyas do this tho and its fine not a big deal at all but i def need to do it tonight cos im leaving tomorrow immediately after work so ill have to have an actual breakfast and take snacks with me. im really enjoying my time in spain or at least im trying to but i feel like i have pushed myself enough out my comfort zone to be able to look back on this and say yeah i really took advantage of that. like i think i need to be more personable (is that a word yes it is i used it right) in teaching and be more interactive with them and stuff also i feel like i shoulve arranged a language exchange sooner cos i think this will really help, and i need to interact more with the other assistant but the thing is is im just not a sociable personnnnnnn aghgh. any way cutting this short cos i need to pack my bags for my trupppppp

[blastedking]

State of the Kingdom  - the Plan for 2021

We got some stuff in the pipeline that I'm absolutely excited about!

Comic

Universe Law Of Fire II - Starheart 

Start 29. January 2021

I'm at the colours on this one as we speak, and it is turning out so lovely. I really put a lot into this one and got a bit out of my comfort zone - and it was worth it! 

It's arguably a step up to the first one in every aspect. The story sure is more precise and better paced I think (given I had enough time for this one to really make it round), there are more backgrounds, more dynamic stuff, more everything basically! 

It is set a few days after ULF - I Tale of Moons.

The DSS Hootsforce got a couple scratches during the whole deal, so our heroes go and visit the dwarven space station of Altrada! And trouble soon follows.

It has Space Dwarves - aka. Wind Rose will be the supporting cast for this one!

New pages as always every Friday, 7pm CEST/CET. 

It's 48 Pages plus Cover - so that covers this year Comic wise! 

As ULF: Tale of Moons is now finished the whole thing can finally be decently read over on the @universelawoffire​ blog via the link in the top that I will update to link to the first page once the last page is up so one can click through casually.

Fanfiction

Universe: Wizard of Cowdenbeath

This Saturday, 16. January, Universe: Wizard of Cowdenbeath starts! 

It is the Zargothrax and Ralathor backstory thing I keep harping on about since months - now it's finally time! And I'm so happy.

It got shorter chapters on average but more. Word wise it's the longest story yet, and also with the most chapters. It's 18 main Chapters plus 3 mini Epilogues (the latter I'll post in one go or within a week once we're there. These don't have covers.)

But the other 18 do all have Chapter covers. And all but one are pretty nifty xD (I might fix that one tho. As is it really stands out.)

Upload will be every Saturday at the usual time over on AO3 (but with Link Post here too)

U: WoC will end in the middle of May, and I hope to finish "Kilchoan" till then because it does belong to U:WoC in a sense. If I don't however, there will be a The Warrior reblog run till June or July? I should be done by then. 

Kilchoan shouldn't get too long, but we will see. 

The one after that will bring the story back into more recent events in the Universe. Kilchoan is another jump into the far past. But for now I’m just thrilled to finally upload this one! How you’ll enjoy it too!

Art

Nothing changes for the Sunday art spot - I'm currently burning through my queue because I literally haven't drawn anything else but Comic since Christmas, but once that is done I should be able to keep that one going as usual. (I still got stuff till march so that should be fine.)

Speaking of march. As I have my one year anniversary in this cozy little fandom by then, I'll revive the Wednesday slot for some "old" GH Art reblogs from last year! 

Other

A big thank you to everyone who started following me - I hope you are aware that there is a Twitch streamer lost in me and I actually do greet each new follower personally saying an enthusiastic “welcome [name] thank you” to myself every time. So please do feel welcome! x’)

Big shoutout to everyone reblogging and liking and even leaving comments - it's been delightful so far and I hope we can have more of it! We seem to have fun. I like that! <3

Spread the love! 💖👑

[love-bokumono-fics]

in your opinion, which harvest moon or sos games are worth playing and which are not? Are the older titles worth it?

So I have to confess, I have played relatively few HM/SoS games to completion. "Completion" meaning: over a year in-game played, got married, had a kid, and/or completed whatever story there is to be done. I am also of the mind that if something makes me happy, regardless of how old, or objectively "bad" it might be considered, it's worth playing. It makes me happy, it's time well spent.

So if you're looking for an actual critical, and well thought out review of the games, I am not the blog to ask. There are lots of other people out there who have given more thought to the matter than I have.

For the record, the games I have played are: Back to Nature, HM 3 GBC, (More) Friends of Mineral Town, Island of Happiness, Save the Homeland, SoS1, Trio of Towns, SoS Friends of Mineral Town, and I'm working my way through Pioneers of Olive Town.

I've played a little bit of Tale of Two Towns, and A New Beginning, but I didn't get very far in either of those before getting distracted with other things. I enjoyed them while I was playing, but also neither of them captured my attention enough to stay invested long term. Make of that what you will.

I never played any of the titles that were released on Game Cube or Wii, and I basically didn't play anything between 2007 and 2014. Which some people will say is when the best games came out, and I missed out on the best titles, but I never played them so I can't offer an opinion on them. And I haven't played any of the Harvest Moon titles since the split.

So of the ~25 games that we have under the Hm/SoS umbrella, I've played 10, and 4 of them are technically the same game remade on different consoles so let's say 6. Several of the games I played as a literal child, and when I upgraded to the next technology generation, I lost my ability to play them. Others I picked up again as an adult and thoroughly enjoyed my time playing.

As for the "worth" of the game, it really depends on what you, personally, want from your game. I've already given you my definition of "worth". I realize it is not Everyone's definition of "worth". Nonny, I suspect, that since you're asking me in the first place, "it makes me happy" isn't the only reason you want/need to invest time and effort into playing a game. I cannot tell you which games you think will be "worth it."

I think each game has it's own value. It offers something that other's don't. Different characters, different farming mechanics, different stories, and I think each one, in its own way has some value to impart on the players.

My long-time favorite game has been the Mineral Town games, ever since we got BTN in 2000 I fell in love with the premise, the characters, the setting. I bought the gameboy versions when they hit stores, and they are the games I most consistently return to when I want something comfortable.

Compared to recent games though, the Mineral Town ones are Really Basic. And while I love the games for their nostalgia, I know some people will be bored to tears by them of they go from playing the more recent games to that. Even when FoMT hit the switch last sumer I had a bit of whiplash going "oh, there's so little on the calendar, and I only have how many different crops to grow? nothing grows in winter? okay." because I had just come off from playing Trio of Towns.

If you want to be busy and have 100 goals to meet, stick to the newer games. If you just wanna chill and do whatever, try some of the older games if you can.

I think, if you have the time/ability to go back and play the old games, and you want to do it, then by all means, go for it!

A lot of them are only available to play on technology that a lot of people don't have floating around their homes anymore. If they didn't get a next gen port to an easily accessible console, so unless you still have a functioning PS2 or GBA, you're not going to have the chance to play them. Yeah, emulators are out there and they work, but in my experience they're also annoying and buggy, and not an ideal way to play the games. If you have the consoles, but not the games, getting your hands on copies can be very expensive.

You are already prone to play the old games. You're gonna play them regardless of my opinions on them. You're gonna shell out the cash or set up the emulator, or dust off the Wii and pray it still works, and i hope you enjoy your time playing!

These games have been coming out over 20+ years at this point, and while many of them are just remakes/reskins/girl versions, that's still so much time covered in video game technology. And comparing the earliest games to the most recent ones is more of an exercise in frustration and futility. You're never going to find the right answer.

(I also don't know what your personal gauge for 'old' is, Nonny. Because Old for me are games that are 20 years old. Old for you might be games that are 5 years old, which was like... last week from my perspective, so...)

All this to say, I guess I'll give a brief opinion on the games I have played, and y'all can make your decisions as you please from there.

Back to Nature/Mineral Town Games: My OG game. Always holds a dear spot in my heart for nostalgia. Love the town, love the characters, love the music, can do no wrong, a very enjoyable, if basic, farming game. Easy to play for a bit, set down for a while, and pick up and play again without feeling like you've forgotten you were in the middle of something important.

HM GBC 3: Pretty sure I was 10 last time I played it, so grain of salt. I found it more boring than the MT games, the town and maps were smaller, none of the characters had portraits, I didn't really get all of the details to make the farm work. I'm sure if I went back now as an adult I would have a better time, but I have no desire to emulate it. If you want to emulate it, go for it, but be warned that if you play as a girl, the game ends after you get married. Doesn't do that if you play as a boy so...

Save the Homeland: I kept going back to replay this game for years. I thought the premise was fun, and I always wanted to try and get all of the endings, but never did. I would buy it again in a heartbeat if it got remastered. Different from other games tho, in that you only get one year to play and get an ending, and once you do, the game restarts you at Spring 1 and nobody knows who you are again. You get to keep your animals and house upgrades, but there's no dating and marriage.

Island of Happiness: I love the setting and the characters, but god FUCK that weather system. Can't get shit to grow unless you obsessively track if it rains and how sunny it is and it completely ruined the game for me. I tried playing it again a couple years back and couldn't be bothered to keep tracking stuff. I never once unlocked all of the crops or livestock on any of my playthroughs. Did manage to play long enough to get married once.

SoS1: The game that convinced me to go back to buying new stuff after IoH kind of put me off new HM games for the better part of a decade (I had FoMT to replay it was fine). Liked it well enough, thought some of the characters were a bit bland, but still enjoyable enough to get married and have a kid. Unlocking all the vendors is a bitch though, and I still haven't gotten them all. A fine game, but if you're only going to play One 3DS game, I wouldn't suggest this one.

Trio of Towns: This one ties with FoMT as my favorite game! I love everything about it. The Characters, the setting and premise, the music, the depth of events. There's so much to do, there's never a boring day, but that can also feel overwhelming if you're the kind if person who tries to do everything at once. Not as easy to pick up and put down as some of the more basic games, but it's very replayable in my book and I keep coming back to it.

Pioneers of Olive Town: It's a middling game for me. Like SoS1, it's fine, but unlike SoS1, there's very little to do in the game. I completed the "main story" in less than a year without putting in much effort to complete things in a timely manner. The characters and the game had So Much Potential, particularly after 3oT, and all of it fell flat in my expectations. Plus some of the technical issues we all experienced at launch. Now, I'm still playing it, I don't hate the game, and the updates have made things better. But with the story done and all of the characters feeling a bit Flat, I'm biding my time between DLC updates to see if I want to marry any of the special candidates instead of the base game characters. I'll probably keep playing long enough to get married and probably unlock everything on the farm, but beyond that I'm not super invested.

My final verdict is, if you have a 3DS, get Trio of Towns, if you only have a Switch, get Friends of Mineral Town. If you want to put forth the time and effort into acquiring the old games, or emulating them, by all means go for it.

[t100ficrecsblog]

an interview with @ravenreyes-0g (she/hers)

what are you working on right now? I'm working on both my Bellarke fic for BLM and a personal fantasy story that I've written and rewritten from the beginning to about 5000000 times because my ideas keep changing. My Bellarke fic is a modern day COVID AU that is also the longest I've ever done so it's been taking a minute to finish! :) 

what’s something you’d like to write one day? A YA either historical fiction or realistic fiction LGBTQ+ romance. I have  a ton of ideas for plots, but I haven’t quite gotten the chance to sit down and try to plot them out. For historical fiction, I’m very interested in the 1900-1950s era, especially the Roaring 20s and WWI/II so I’d most likely set it there! I’m all in for the angsty romance, but I'd definitely want to end it on a happy note (unlike my current fantasy work) and I’m really looking forward to getting the chance to write a character driven story that doesn’t focus so much on heavy plot elements - something I can’t do as much in a fantasy setting!

what is the fanwork you’re most proud of? This one is actually pretty hard considering how my writing style has developed since I started writing fanfics. But if I had to choose, I’d probably say my FirstPrince (Alex/Henry from Red, White, and Royal Blue) fic on Ao3 called To Love Another Is to Cherish Life Itself. The title is a bit dramatic but basically it is an angsty/fluffy one-shot that I wrote really late one night and did minimal edits to before posting. It definitely feels like the most in character and honest fic I’ve ever done, and it broke my heart to write about some of the darker stuff, but in the end I’m pretty proud of it! 

why did you first start writing fic? Well, I’ve been writing fanfics since I was probably 10 or 11 years old (I had PJO phase that spanned close to a decade and I’m still not totally over it 😂) but I started publishing work on Wattpad literally the night I turned 13. That was actually my first Bellarke/the 100 fic! It started out as my predictions for season 5 and then evolved into a fix-it fic for everything I didn’t like about the season. I’ve abandoned it for almost two years, but I’m slowly coming back to it so...slow updates y’all :)

what frustrates you most about fic writing? Everything! Just kidding - I love fic writing! But if I had to choose, probably two main things tho. 1) Creating a plot for a long term fic - I’m sooooo bad at it because I always feel like I’m writing too much in line with the actual show/book/movie and it feels like copying. 2) Making sure that I stay honest to the character I’m writing about. I have a huge tendency to write my fics (ESPECIALLY my one-shots) from the POV of the character who was not the main character in the original thing (like my POV for my RWRB fic is Henry, the love interest of Alex/other main character). This means that the only look inside their head that we’ve gotten has been through the eyes of the main character - which can obviously be biased. I try to stay as honest as I can to my interpretation of the character drawn directly from the text - but sometimes that means that I can’t include scenes that I want to because it feels off/out of character and that’s always disappointing. (also dialogue is just...something I really need to work on)

what are your top five songs right now? Ahhh see it changes on my day/mood but right now it’s probably

1. The Last Great American Dynasty - Taylor Swift 2. The Garden - Dua Lipa 3. Mirrorball - Taylor Swift 4. Icarus - Emma Blackery 5. Betty - Taylor Swift 

(taylor really blessed us with folklore...I’m in love)

what are your inspirations? Ahhh - there are many. First and foremost, The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. It’s my favorite book for so many reasons, but it teaches me so much about writing and character development. Also Liesel and Rudy melt my heart every time. I also love all the songs listed above for inspiration, and I listen to I Get To Love You by Ruelle (it’s the Malec wedding song for any Shadowhuners fans out there!) whenever I write a really emotionally intense romantic scene. If you’re looking for amazing fic recs, I highly recommend all of HMS-Chill’s works (multi fandoms), clarkesbell, and DracoWillHearAboutThis on Ao3. Though not all of them write Bellarke/the 100, if you are in any of their fic fandoms, I highly recommend checking them out because they are fantastic writers!

what first attracted you to Bellarke? what attracts you now? Honestly? #1 - their development. I love enemies to lovers with my whole heart, but I honestly didn’t see Bellarke as romantic until the 2x05 hug where I was just hit with a wave of OMG THEY BELONG TOGETHER!!! Seriously, though, the fact that they go from enemies, to grudging allies, to co-leaders, to partners, to friends, to best friends, to soulmates just makes my heart go !!!! - Also they have insane chemistry, and that certainly doesn’t hurt. What attracts me to them now is much the same, but also how much they care about each other. They’d go to the ends of the earth to save one another, and it just blows me away how powerful their screen time is, even when their scenes together have become so rare. I also don’t thinkI’m ever getting over 6x10. I swear my heart actually stopped beating when I watched it live the first time. 

BESIDES Bellarke, what character or pairing do you like best on t100? Ha! Umm, I actually really like Murven, both platonically and romantically. Their journey might not be as well developed as Bellarke’s but it is still a powerful one hinging on love and forgiveness. I love how Lindsey/Richard play off of each other on screen - it’s such a joy to watch! I’ve also loved the Octavia/Indra dynamic, but it’s kinda been tabled in recent seasons which is sad :(

why did you decide to start writing for bellarkefic-for-blm? Two reasons - 1) I wanted to do everything I could for BLM and it was so amazing that I could do that, and write works for my favorite show! 2) I was super curious about the prompts people would send in. My work right now is a modern day AU COVID fic where Bellamy and Clarke have to share a room together in an overcrowded hospital until one day Clarke disappears. It’s so different than what I usually write - bc I almost always write canon compliant/in universe fics - so it’s a nice challenge!

what’s your writing process like? Honestly it depends. For long/multi-chapter fics I try to plan out as much of it as I can, characters, plot, important moments, etc - even though I am not very good at planning. But for one-shots I tend to go off of emotion or feelings. Usually when I write one-shots, it’s because a particular line or moment in a book/movie/show really spoke out to me, and spurred this idea in my head. I always start with the line I want to get to at the heart of the fic and then write around it from there. I am definitely much more of a panster than a planner- which is why one-shots work much better for me!

what are some things you’d like to recommend? 1. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. Also, All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven, The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston, The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz. 2. Musicals! They can be amazing inspiration - my favorites are Les Mis, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Six, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, Hadestown, Anastasia, Island Song, Newsies, & Tuck Everlasting! 3. TV Shows besides The 100 - Anne with an E, Shadowhunters (just pretend you haven’t read the books), French SKAM, Love Victor, HSMTMTS, Merlin, Lucifer, I think I’m just listing fandoms at this point 😂

Also, almost any Taylor Swift, Troye Sivan, Conan Gray, Dua Lipa, Emma Blackery or Harry Styles songs are amazing!

My handle is the same for everything - Twitter, Tumblr, Ao3, Wattpad (if anyone still uses that anymore), etc (RavenReyes0G). I also run a book review blog on Instagram which is @betweenthepagesandtea, so feel free to check that out too! Request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm!

[tc-obsessed]

july tc challenge

this blog is most likely just for me to talk about him because i really can’t talk about this with nobody else, so i am actually doing all the question at once cause I don’t have that much time to do it once a day

this challenge is made by @baeby-tc

1. describe your tc’s physical appearance.

He is taller tan me, has a curly hair he lets it grow to his ears and a little long so he can handle it, I have always seen him with it thrown to the back, he has brown hair and brown eyes, he is a bit full but I think it makes him cute

2. what was the first thing you’ve ever said to your tc?

He said my name to know if I was in the class and I think I said like, “That’s me” and he proceed to smile like always.

3. is your tc single or taken? Or are you unsure? And are you single or taken?

So far as I know he is single, we met after I broke up with a toxic ex, and now I actually am in a relationship, which its kind of hard because its not a serious one and he also knows I am in love with H.

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

Super duper artsy, he is my teacher at an art college, and also super nerdy he is like such a geek for like games and stuff I really don’t have a clue.

5. if you and your tc were in high school together, do you think you’d be friends?

Not really, I don’t think he would be able to handle or want to even be near me, I was really depressed and was super mean, and he is an easy going guy who doesn’t barge in somebody else’s problems, also he is super into cute girls and I am totally the opposite

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

The song is one that I love, and H kind of didn’t like much but since we heard it together he always pops into my head when I listen to it, its Graduation by Hyukoh. I think its one the moment I appreciate of him cause we were just naming random songs we liked and he literally grabbed his computer and started showing his songs as I said which ones I liked, we started with like two more classmates then just the two of us, until he left.

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you’d love to see them wear?

Fuck no, like he is such a bad dresser, I am so interested in fashion and he always wears this ugly orange jacket, I swear to god I would kill to see him in something more for his age, like I think it’s really nice how he likes but he has such a bad style, I think if we ever come to be together I would go out to shop for him and try to find other color that its definitely NOT orange.

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc’s subject if it meant you two could be together?

Not really like a teacher, but I would be so down to be his assistant, though he already has one.

9. does your tc drink or smoke?

No, I have seen photos of him drinking but now he always avoids it. And he doesn’t like the smell of cigarettes.

10. name one item that is always on your tc’s desk.

It used to be like a mug with coffee or a coke, now its just water. And I like to think it was because of me, but that’s an story I’ll leave for another update.

11. has your tc ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

Its unfair cause he is really nice, he has never said or done anything, I just get plain angry or sad when I cant see him, and that isn’t his fault.

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

None that I know of.

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many?

I am sure he has a few brothes.

14. are you taking your tc’s class next year?

Unfortunately I cant, he only teaches first and second years, and I am already a third year, if I could I totally would do it.

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

Thank god no.

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

Nope, we don’t have it at college.

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

No, and I think I would just accept it, like he is a teacher for a reason, if he thinks I didn’t understand and I need another year learning, so be it.

18. what are your tc’s hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

He is into like a really nerdy rp podcat/talk show? I am so into tv shows, he draws characters form the rp, and I just focus on drawing homework and ocs. So not really, but we both enjoyed game of thrones.

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

I have texted him before, never called, and mostly is for my new animated project or things for the student council, once or twice we talked about something not related to college, but that’s also a thing I plan on explain into detail later.

20. if you had your tc’s class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

No, and I don’t know if its good or bad, because I definitely want to see him, but its not like its private so I guess I would be really sad for not having his attention. And yes, we have talked, I asked him for advices in my new proyect, he is really sharp and has a good, and then he responded two of my ig stories, so I am happy he actually talked to me first.

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

So, I know he has gone to japan a few times, and I would actually enjoy to go with him there, like, imagine him saying his experiences and helping me with things he had to learn.

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

Sadly no, he is really professional, so if he ever gave me a nickname it would be kinda wrong, tho he calls me by my name when he is talking about work and by my nick name (everybody at my uni calls me by that), when we ran into each other at the u. sometimes he switches it up.

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

I been close to it, but he actually passed by and I turned around so he wouldn’t see me.

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

No, sadly. I am always early and he is always late. But we have bumped into each other on the stairs.

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

Yes, I mean most of them know each other, and they are all so friendly.

26. why does your tc’s voice sound like?

Hard to describe, he has like a confident lowish voice.

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

He super professional and like strict, and soo picky, like he can give you so many advices and at the same time try to make room fot you to think about it and have a solution yourself, he is great.

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

Shows I think, he likes how a character grows from his past mistakes, but he likes reading too.

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

Kinda both, like he is really nice and easygoing until he needs to be stern.

30. how would you describe you and your tc’s relationship?

Weird, like we are friendly, but he has always this way to push me away, but at the same time we always makes things that caught my attention or he talks to me like nothing.

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

Yes, its actually normal, everybody calls him by his name or a nickname, i personally call him his name with a rhyme

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e12 Live Blog

“The Wiping of the Disciple’s Butt”

The season finale. I’m nauseous. Lets begin. 

As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read the manga and webcomic. 

Right where we left off. Again I love the music. I’m just like, really calm right now actually. hhhhhhhhhhhokay. OOF oh god all the crunching sound effects oh no, this is already so weird watching Garou get his ass handed to him since he’s pretty much curb stomped every other hero in battle thus far, or at the VERY LEAST avoided taking so many hits. This. is so uncomfortable to watch. WOAH ????? THESE SHOTS WERE ONLY THERE FOR A SPLIT SECOND BUT??? HOLY SHIT???

GAROU’S HAIR OH MY GOD 

Oh god oh god Bang is relentless this hurts please stop guys GUYS PLZ  HAS NO ONE REALISED THAT NOT ONE HERO HAS DIED CMON PLZ IT HURTS calm down stop trying to kill him plsplspls OH

THIS 

IS WHY

WE STAN GAROU

HE SAYS FUCK DEATH HOW ABOUT I JUST GET STRONGER INSTEAD QUE EPIC THEME MUSIC

oh god damnit him legit running on all fours right there just looks goofy tho F “preposterous style” Bang you aint lying asdfghjkl really though OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DRAWN SO BEAUTIFULLY THIS IS SO BLESSED 

WAIT 

NO OPENING THEME???????????????????? WHAT?????????????????????? WHY????????????????????????? ONE, I WANTED TO SEE THE CHIBI OF THE WEEK AND 2 

I WASNT PREPARED FOR MY FAVORITE DOPEY BIRD MAN THE FUCK PHOENIXMAN PLS NO ILY I know people hate him a lot but I just really dig how he feels like a fleshed out character compared to most other monsters, like he’s legit lookit him being all smart and stuff plz I just,,,,,,,,,,,, want to hug dumb fluffy birb ;-;

Woah again I’m being blown away by the animation??? Garou getting smacked around is really fluid and this just looks really cool in general?????

FUCK I CANT DO FLASHBACKS MAN JUST HEARING THE KID VOICE MAKED MY STOMACH LURCH OH NO 

OH NO I SCREAM OH NO I CANT OH NO GIMME 5 MINUTES PLEASE I CANNOT BBY NO I FORGOT ADULT GAROU IS IN THE FLASHBACK WATCHING THIS TIME PLS NO 

LIKE???????? I got kinda a comedic vibe watching him comment on it in the manga but the slow music and shit is just FUKKIN ME UP RIGHT NOW I HATE IT THANKS IT HURTS

oh god his face he has the seething thousand mile stare of quiet rage and its burning a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH MY ENTIRE BEING “But me I was the loner kid. Always gloomy and without friends” STOP. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT. IM CRYING AT U RIGHT NOW STOP

NO DONT HOLD HIM LET HIM GO S T O P OR SO HELP ME i can’t watch this what the fuck “I was always the loser” SHIT this legitimately hurts me “I dont want to be the monster anymore” GArou hey did you hear that part?? hEY GAROU DID YOU HEAR YOURSELF THERE??? 

WHAT DID I SAY WHAT THE F DID I JUST SAY STOP HOLDING HIM STOP STOPPIT  THE HELL MAN What if……….. I just go BACK IN TIME AND ADOPT BB GAROU CAN I DO THAT IS THIS POSSIBLE IS THIS ALLOWED ? ?? ?

oh my god it keeps getting worse. I mean. I already knew garou was being disproportionately reprimanded for what he supposedly did, but watching this scene just fucking kicked me in the teeth. As if my stomach wasn’t already in knots. The fuck . why does this hurt so much more watching than reading the frustration in seeping into me ffffff.

This looks really cool but, i can barely focus on that because im pretty much being exsanguinated on the floor over here by this whole sequence look at him crying. do it for me cause I sure as hell can’t 

“I want to strike a blow for the little guy”

Fukkin GETTEM GO GETTEM 

HOLY SHIT HIS VA IS GOING T F OFF 

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH LOOKIT HIM ILY SO MUCH SAVE THE DAY BIRB SAVE 

ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO INTENSE EVERYONE IS SO INTENSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK IM SCREAMING GAROU IS SCREAMING BANG AND BOMB SCREAMING GENOS AND EVEN PHOENIXMAN EVEN THE MUSIC IS SCREAM WE ALL JUST SC R E M

OH MY GOD AND THE LITTLE HEAD NOT GENOS AND BANG GIVE EACHOTHER SAVING THE HEROES OH MY GOD OH FUCK AND THE WAY THEY ANIMATE BANG JUMPING AROUND IS DOPE AS HELL AND ALSO HOLY SHIT ELDER CENTIPEDE I MISSED THE UNSETTLING SMOOTH CG LIKE ANIMATION FOR THE CENTIPEDES EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS JUST SCREAMING RN I AM OVERLOAD HELP 

Garou flailing in the air in Phoenixman’s grip is … really adorable oh my god. “It’s your fault for not finishing them” ooooooo that shut him up didn’t it oof. Also nice cameo by Tatsumaki there 

ASDFGHJKL THE MUSIC AGAIN I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD 

THIS IS SO BAD ASS

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO BADASS

Genos’s eye static, The brother’s fists swirling, THE FUKKIN CARAPACE SHATTERING 

THIS FIGHT IS SO WILD MY COMPUTER CANT EVEN TAKE IT. ITS GLITCHING AND FREEZING UP HOLY SHIT

oh god ok the face coming out of the face was pure nightmare fuel alright then

WAIT

I FORGOT GENOS IS A SELF SACRIFICING DUMBASS. NO IM NOT READY GENOS YOU DOOF LISTEN TO KUSENO LISTEN TO HIM 

oh no 

oh no

im crying oh no

this animation is beautiful first of all and the music like im just here this is where I’m at and I’m crying oh no 

He’s an angel. A literal angel. Look at that and tell me he doesn’t look like a fucking angel in the sky with the rays of light casting shadows around him. 

Genos you are too good and pure for this world but that DOESNT MEAN TRY TO GET YOURSELF KILLED 

Shit they really made it look like he was gonna self destruct there for a second which MADE HIS LAST STAND EVEN MORE INTENSE OH MY GOD SWEETHEART Y’all ever get into a show because you keep seeing one character that catches your interest, and you keep seeing them pop up on your dash or wherever until you finally decide ‘well fuckit, this is the asshole that’s gonna get me to finally watch the show’, cause you’re already invested in them anyway? Genos did that for me with OPM. If this fool didn’t exist Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get to watching OPM, if ever. And shit like this is why I STILL love him. I usually move on to new faves 90% of the time but nope. Genos earned his spot and is keeping it. Look at this insane shit. My heart. Uhg

Enough gushing asdfghjkl ok but Genos, you just went INTO THE DAMNED THING’s STOMACH,,,,, and you’re SURPRISED that there’s STOMACH ACID?? But real talk. What the EVERLONG FUCK is that thing’s insides made out of? How did it NOT DIE. the FuCK

asdfghjkl Phoenixman’s chuckle???? I love 

Oh Bang no, this is wrenching my heart like I know that he doesn’t actually use his power but its built up so intensely like,,, would he be ok if he did??? and actually more concerningly since it even WAS brought up that he has some hidden true strength, will we EVER get to see that??? Oh Shit well when they word it as “All the power left to me in this life” then yeah, that seems pretty life or death ish???? THE FUCK 

Oh thank god comedic relief is here I feel like i’m about to have a heart attack my chest is so tight hhhhhh ok breathe WAIT THIS ISNT COMEDIC THIS IS BADASS AS HELL JEEZUS witht he flashbacks to the Saitama encounter and THIS LOOK

The Anime is really fucking with the audience huh??? Making it look like KIngs about to throw hands like???????????? OH SHIT AND THIS MUSIC IS DOPE AS HELL TOO IM JUST laughing I have so much excessive energy right now???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHZAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDFGHJKLJHGFDSWERTGYHUIUJHGFDFGHJKJHGFRE THE FUKKIN SONG THEY BROUGHT IT BACK THE ULTIMATE SONG I GOT THREE NOTES IN JUST THREE NOTES AND I KNOW IM SCREAMING I GOTTA GO RUN BRB 

IM STILL SCREAMING FADFJSAGFJDSLKAHVFSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR MAIN MAN THERE HE IS THERE HE IS IM GONNA THROW UP 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

OH MY FUCK THATS WHAT THE OPENING SEQUENCE EXPLOSION WAS FROM OH GOD OH FUCK BEAUTIFUL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OH FUCK OH GOD 

The REPRISE oh no oh NO OH NO OH NO NO ITS NOT OVER im not ready its not I cant no no no i dont want to press play cause if I press play it will end soon no no no Oh my god and at the end there isnt gonna be a title card for the next episode because THERE IS NO NEXT EPISODE no non o nonononon on on on ono no no no 

NO 

HEY IVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. WHERES THE FACE WITH HIS HAIR BLOWN BACK??? ASDFJKL fine I cant even be mad everything else was tooo  ofdbghjfshkggfhsjgbfhjka

KING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT REACTION ASDFGHJKL W H A T 

WAIT THEY ARE DOING THE OPENING THEME AT THE END NO I CANT HANDLE SEEING EVERYOONE NOW OF ALL TIMES GOD DAMNIT WHY ok yknow what. I knew it would be king. I dont know how but i did 

Wha

wh

fkin cliffhanger no please no 

I.. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m. That’s it, huh? It’s really over. It doesn’t FEEL over. There’s so much unfinished business. Well, the only way to really neatly wrap everything up as neatly as S1 did would have been to get ALL THE WAY through the Garou arc, which obviously wasn’t going to happen, but this is not a great spot to leave off if we’re going to endure another few years hiatus. My hope is that, with biweekley manga updates, we should wrap up the Monster Association/Garou stuff (assuming it doesn’t diverge from the web comic too much) some time next year, and I’m HOPING that s3 is already being planned accordingly along side manga publications. So MAYBE it will at least be announced around that time 2020. That’s my wishful thinking at least. I don’t think I can survive 3 years. anyway

You could really tell JC Staff poured their hearts and souls into these last 2 episodes. Absolutely gorgeous, paced well, so completely satisfying and making every second of s2 worth while. For me, at least. I’ve already seen people still complaining and I’m just sorry they didn’t have as much fun as I did. 

Seriously, thank each and every one of you guys. This has been a wild ride, I’ve barely had this blog a few weeks before season 2 started airing (and honestly just got into opm maybe a month before that?), so I owe a lot of the success on the blog to the anime I bet. This was the first series I’ve never tried live bogging, and I honestly can’t believe that they were as popular as they were? Especially since I never have any idea what I’m doing but yall listen to me ramble anyway?? Yall are crazy thank you so so so much. Now my tuesdays are gonna feel really empty… next week is gonna be weird as hell. Though I’m gonna get mad nostalgic good vibes rewatching this season in the future in no small part from sharing my experience with everyone who's stuck around. I can’t say see yall next week this time, but, see you next season whenever it may be for sure.

[buckyskorpion]

A). I didn't meant to be rude w the caps lock message about dsbt. Yes, I hit anonymous button but cuz I'm too scared of even write an ask to anyone (I hope u understand it, from what i see of your posts you deal with anxiety too). I'm sorry, truly, if I sounded rude or bad to you, never was my intention. I never knew it has some time since you wrote it cuz I've been following you for little time. Like a few weeks. And unfortunately, we don't exactly get the timin of the uploading of the posts +

B). I thought it was a recent fic and freshly new and I thought you'd be writing through time or had more chapters saved or anything, already pre scheduled to update. Not trying to impose anything, just expressing how my trail of thoughts were working. I know, I truly know, u share the stories because u want to share it and not for our satisfaction. And that's how it's suppose to be, imo as well. The thing with asks tho is that it gets very misunderstood how we all view them when we get them. +

C). I did caps lock with the only and unique intention of expressing excitement over it. Not to be rude, not to yell at you. Just to express how excited I am towards the next chapter, whenever it comes out. I felt bad how you and some of your followers thought of how that sounded and I'm sorry. I never intended to be rude. Ps: I did A, B & C so you can follow the asks, not to impose anything of like "first of all", don't get me wrong again please xx

D). I read the other ask you answered about how bad you feel. I'm truly sorry I made you feel that way. Truly. I read all your vents about your bad days and it makes me sad you deal with it. I have 3 personality disorders and it's horrible how we process things in our heads. Not trying to victimize, just trying to explain I know how awful our own brains can be to ourselves when it comes to process social interactions (asks, even. +

E). Again, I'm so sorry) without any mental issue or whatsoever. I want to add I'm excited for any work you do in the future and again, I'm sorry for failing showing it.

thank you for messaging me! believe me, i understand anxiety so thats fine and i also understand that you didn’t meant it in a rude or bad way - i did say that because i know most people dont intend to come across in a bad way. i admit that i responded quite emotionally because of a build up of similar messages i had gotten. however, in my opinion it doesnt matter what the intention is when you say something that hurts someone, because no matter how nicely you meant to say it (and i do understand you said it out of excitement! i really do) it still hurt. ya know? like i get that you meant it in a nice way but i still had a negative reaction and thats still valid. i hope that makes sense!

as someone who has anxiety as you have said, i would hope that you understand how a message like that - well intentioned or not - would trigger my anxiety and make me feel very pressured, stressed, and upset. and i understand that using anon protects you and helps ease your anxiety so i didnt mean to offend you by saying that, im sorry.

im grateful that you started following me so recently and are enjoying my fics. im not expecting everyone to understand that i took four years off tumblr and originally posted that fic in 2016, i understand people just come across my fics and dont read my blog so thats not what i was getting at. what i meant is that it doesn’t matter if i posted the fic last week or four years ago, if i have a posting schedule or not, if i posted the last chapter yesterday or months ago -- asking writers when they’re going to update and demanding new chapters is very upsetting to a lot of us!! and it is rude, whether its intended or not! not just you, but literally everyone who message me or any writer about updates. i dont know if i am getting my point across properly but im trying to say that i would never ask someone when they plan on updating a fic no matter the circumstances because i understand writing and posting is a very subjective, emotional, and mentally draining process. at the end of the day we are posting free content and its nobody’s business whether i post back to back updates or take years in between, because im doing it FOR FREE and owe nothing to no one.

at the end of the day this is also just tumblr, its just fic, and i dont want to come across super aggressive or mean. im just trying to get my point across and im glad you messaged me to get your point across too! we are all allowed to disagree and exist on the same platform. i am truly grateful you enjoy my writing, thats the reason why i write so i dont want to deter you from enjoying anyones fic or anything. im just trying to explain to not only you but anyone reading this why demanding updates makes me wanna die haha

im truly sorry for what you have to go through with your diagnoses, i know how difficult mental illness is and nobody deserves it. i really hope you’re doing ok and this interaction hasn’t upset you too deeply and i havent made you feel bad. if i have i truly am sorry. we’re all just trying to make our way in this shitty world and we gotta help each other when we can. if you ever feel confident enough to come off anon, or even if you want to continue sending me anons, i would be happy to talk to you if you ever need it - im always here for you! i used your ask as an example for the many people who message me similar things and maybe i shouldn’t have done that because that’s not fair to you, so im sorry. 

thank you so much for these messages, you really sound like a very mature and lovely person and im deeply sorry if this situation has caused you any pain. i hoep we can be friends! and i hope you keep enjoying my writing and i can keep providing things you like to read!

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[renjingujifortheladies]

**update**and happy fall ;) guidelines

im going to reschedule my blog time. i will delete the app from my tablet because it makes me obsessively refresh and feel like its broken in some way. when its not.

ive been only realizing this now but i had close to 1000 subs (even tho most of them inactive or moved or personal blog who followed me once and idk stayed?) and now i  have 800 something. its not the number that bothers me but the fact that these are all those nasty nude girl bot blogs... i really dont care about the number since i myself follow like 30 ppl at most

i checked the last 3 month activity  and in june i had 50 reblogs on threads which is not too shabby in july i had 28 in august i had 5 (granted  i was off for like two weeks) and since the beginning of september i had 9 (i also counted in the inbox replies i did) 

i dont know how anyone is with it but i follow very few people and i even go back to the day before and recognize where my dash was when i went to bed. its compulsive and its bad because i get myself hyped up then i feel shit when i scroll past so many threads that has nothing to do with me. and im not about that. im about the fun and im glad others are having fun. i also remember sending out memes but dont remember to whom and how many. if it was excessive im sorry and if yall dont feel like answering just drop it and delete it.  same goes for threads if you wont feel like something anymore tag me into a thread drop post and the thread and ill just like it and stop waiting on it. 

and this is me saying literally that i have nothing better to do then sit and refresh when i could be (and should be tbh) doing something else. im not being negative about it but i feel like its pointless for me to reblog inbox meme compilations and the like. 

it starts to feel like less as a hobby then a device to torture myself because even over extended period of time i dont get anything. and when i do its unhealthy how hyped i get about it and drop everything i do to reply. 

i think about my ships even though i wait sometimes months for a thread to move forward. i dont lack in ideas and even tried to do just drabbles but i got scared of those even because i think what if the other party will think i interpret their muse in a way they wont portray and drop me completely. (i did get shit for that a long time ago) 

i dont write headcanons even though i think of them often because most of my muses dont even get requested and if by some miracle i get to try them out its literally 3 notes in and never hear from the new partner again. also if i do introduce myself to new blogs i follow and ive stressed this before so many times.... if i get ignored i get pissed. i get pissed if someone follows me then i follow them back and even chat them up and they ignore me unfollow me (without my dumbass noticing because im not about the numbers) and i like their starter call because they are still on my dash and then they spat out a “mutuals only” message i loose my cool. 

i love the people i regularly play with and the reason why im so hesitant to even accept new followers or follow someone when the mood strikes is exactly because im at the end of my rope here. i dont want to hate coming on here because new people ruin my experience and then my friends who actually do bomb threads with me have to deal with my sour ass because others pissed me off. 

 so long story short;

*dont expect me to give you more than 3 weeks waiting time to interact and get something going on if you are new,  * ill come online once a week do all my replies put them into queue and maybe at the most lurk and reblog pictures tagging my partners whos ship it may concern * i wont reblog inbox one liner meme anymore. its pointless and just makes me get upset with myself. (although i will participate in tags if someone tags me) that being said my inbox is open (and empty) and everyone is welcome (yes anon is also welcome) * i wont put out and wont like starter calls. those are the things that break my spirit the most. i dont need a starter to have 3 notes in and never continued.  * i WILL literally drop a thread if i write an extensive reply and get like at the maximum 3 lines of reply. that is the biggest disrespect in my book and im done making exceptions even if we are years long partners. its just rude and you can move your brain a little to write more than a paragraph.  * i WILL block you if you ask for a starter and let it sit after 3 notes in because fuck you thats why. 

i hope you all have a lovely day or night wherever you are , stay safe and stay hydrated. eat fruits and sleep lots.  💝

[avicebro]

rate... casters then? if you haven't done it yet?

one two three WIFE hey honey i love you so much i think about you constantly you are the best. have you at 100 10/10/10 and bond level 10 now so you’re basically perfect now, just gotta max fou you. love your np charge skill. love your myths.. you’re good. i love you so much. i love you and kuzuki so much. i just want you guys to be happy and i just want to make you happy let me just.. treat you thank you for carrying me all the time MWUAh infinity/10

I personally like him a lot but I know some people find him uncomfortable which is totally understandable. Still.. haven’t finished working on him in FGO I’m sorry lol. Love his relationship with both Prelati and Ryuunosuke and can’t wait for him to meet his bfs again. so like 8/10? yeah

HEY HANS. man you could have been.. so much better. I know that it’s not your fault though and I have nothing against you. I just… love the idea that he’s defined by what people thought he was like based off of what he wrote about. Wish they would actually reference the bisexuality cause heyo it’s important to his stories /dab. Stop asking for alcohol you’re like 12. Wish he like.. actually acted like how he did in real life sometimes tho lol. Kiara fuckers don’t interact. 10/10 love him. 

HEY WILL. one of the best parts of apocrypha, hands down, just wish he was in more of it. shave your mustache off though it creeps me out. ever since i learned you share va’s with tesla i can’t think. love how you have a buster up which ties with amakusa and semiramis. love you so much, sorry for taking so long to level you up lol. it looks like you’re having fun which is what matters. i’ll take you to shinjuku for drinks or something. nice thighs please step on me. 10/10 would die for.

ship you with paracelsus. whenever you dress up it’s kind of illegal? just kind of? thought you would do more in london but alas. love art where you and paracelsus adopt jack and teach her about the fun ways of murder. your hair is an aesthetic. mephi is cute guys. make paramephi art im begging you 7/10

7/10 please stop haunting me and my dreams. who said you could be that hot.

you came home for new years! which was nice! i appreciate it a lot! i use you a lot and i’m sorry you’re just very useful. sorry waver i like el melloi more. long haired men are hot, it’s been clinically tested. wanna run my hands through your hair while you play dark souls. i’m not thirsty for you i support you in your transition and i hope you and your like 8 blond kids are having a fun time saving the world and dismantling the grail or whatever. 8/10

7/10 best cu hands down don’t @ me. like him in fuyuki. hope he comes back soon? also ugh when is he gonna get that animation update fgo? anytime soon? please? i think your final art is gorgeous by the by. one of the first servants i finished.

probably her best outfit let’s be real here. good girl. nothing bad to say here she’s a great daughter and i love her in all forms. 9/10

I think you were a ticket? I think? Ugh 5/10 I appreciate you coming home in all forms, I really do Tamo, ugh, I’m glad you like me so much but now I’m worried that Vicci will come home and I don’t know how to feel about that one. Pairs really well with my Medeas, I had you and Medea Lily stall for like, a whole bunch of fucking turns which made me wanna kms but also proved how well you two can stall so good job.

HELLO. I’m so sorry I didn’t use my free four star on you and instead went for the thirsty choice I’m sorry but thank you so much for coming home regardless for new years MWUAH. currently grailed to 98. I’m working on your skills next honey just please be patient. All of her lines about not liking being touched scare me and I want to fight anyone who does anything dirty with you EVEr. I think your art is gorgeous and you’re so pretty and I want to make sure you’re never sad again. Love art where you have been adopted by Hektor. I’ll beat up Jason for you. infinity/10

ANother good girl. Came home recently and three times at that! Thank you for that Nursery Rhyme. You’re.. very cute. I love how you’d expect her to be this like, shy, silent girl but nOPE she’s a critting, curious, buster machine and she works so well with the other authors good job NR. I can’t say I’d beat up Hans for you but we can certainly give him a stern talking to. Love writing her the most out of the authors honestly. Your LE episodes killed me. When are you gonna be in Extella. 10/10

His coat is made out of husband material. Very pretty. I want to braid your hair and be your assistant. One of the first servants that I got that I was like, okay I know nothing about you but you’re hot so I love you lol. His voice is very soothing. Love you with Mephi but the art with Hektor and Avi is also very cute. When I need to draw hair I draw you. Love you I’ll draw you more. 10/10

I’m sorry I know very little about you I’m sorry. I think your human form is very hot though. I have someone who has you at level 100 and they’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever seen TBQH. You’re cute in the summer race, Babbage sensei. Also dailybabbage is still the best daily blog don’t @ me 5/10

You also came home recently! Thanks! I actually like her a lot just hate her artist and her archer version. Wish she was an actual old lady instead of being.. whatever this is lol. Love her relationship with Edison, they seem like if they were two old friends who after their partners died they moved in together with an Indian demigod. Please put on some more clothes. Please take her away from her artist. Oh and I’ll beat up Sherlock for you. 7/10

You came home a very long time ago and I’m sorry you’ve been stuck at like.. 54 for a long time lol. I associate you with someone though. I really like Tedison but I never talk about it. I just assume all Americans are like this honestly. All hail our presi-king. hey fgo you wanna add bell so they can be friends instead of just constantly hinting at it? huh? anyways you’re good i just need to finish leveling you up. 6/10

gold border cause you’re level 90 in na. i have a lot of problems with you but i’m not the right person to talk about it. you’re still so bad in terms of racist designs i’m sorry. wish they had done you better. pat pat. 6-10/10 cause i’m conflicted honestly. your personality isn’t bad but like……….. the design… and the fact that they turned you into this like shaman when you just weren’t… and the fact that you didn’t like pictures being taken and i’m sorry geronimo that they did this to you you don’t deserve it

i wasn’t playing fgo when you arrived so please can i have a rerun? can i please have a rerun? i want iri. good mom. i want her to adopt caren and angra and be the ‘cool mom’. i’d like a hug please. thanks mom. 7/10

i associate you with ip so you’re good. i wish your final art was more interesting though. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh your event is good too. love your relationship with li shuwen. i kinda forget all the time that you were in the summer race event. WHoops. oh and also you can do your NP on me thanks. 5/10

hey i have you too! sorry you’re at like.. level 41.. i’m sorry i have a lot of casters. nice thighs.. i like your face things as well. ears are cute. hope you’re having fun with your gf. wish you would work better as a catalyst for your gf tho lol. keep it up im proud of you. also ugh beat up ozy for me thanks. 6/10

10/10 MOM. maybe one day you can be your normal self again. wish that instead of da vinci lily they did it so you went to like a different painting instead but whatever. i’ll kill kirei for you dw

you’re good. i want you to come home so i can have more dumas catalysts tbh. but you’re soft and good and i hope you’re having fun. here take a head pat. 5/10

i’d probably only roll cause then i’d have the complete emiya-einzbern family. but you’re still on thin ice. i’m sorry your event is horrible. i’m sorry your anime is too. here take a head pat. 3/10

you came home recently too! and not even in the dantes/casgil gacha which confused the shit out of me lol. thank you artist for drawing a gil so that we can finally get more gil content cause takeuchi would never. associate you with a lot of people like you’re constantly showing up on my friend’s supp list. you’re good, i think i like you better than your archer version. take a nap. 7/10

5/10 thanks for carrying me you fuck. 

PLEASe. PLEase come home. Why did you send Medb twice. I wanted you. You’re the last author I need. Literally all I need is you now. Please. I’m begging you. How much must I give for you to come home? I’m on my knees. I’m sorry Agartha did.. that. I’m sorry people do gross shit to you. I’m sorry for your tag. I’m sorry people say racist and gross things about you. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this shit. Please.. I have your gf. You can be happy here I promise. 100/10

you’re like one of the few summer servants who’s ascensions make sense good job. also like your animations. if you’d come home that would be great more dumas catalysts. 5/10

I think it’s always a good sign when you’re aunt in law comes home twice. I love how they took your name seriously with the bird wings. And I love all the subtle hints to Medea in your design, as well. Circe is by far my favourite part of The Odyssey, so I’m glad she was added. I’m curious to see if they’ll add Odysseus and what she thinks about him 9/10

I don’t have much to say about you I just wish they didn’t just shove a bunch of “vaguely African things” together and call it a day. Your attacks are cool though and I wish you and your husband a good time. Hope you have fun with David, too. 5/10?

another high on my wife list. did not know how much i loved you until i rolled you. i like you and kadoc so i won’t say you’re my wife. love your anniversary art thing. hope you’re having a good day. kinda confused about the whole “i knew i died thing” considering that anastasia became so well known because people weren’t sure if she had died or not.. kinda feels weird in a series about characters being altered by how they were remembered 15/10

gold cause he’s currently 85 in jp. can’t wait to get you to 100 baby love you. didn’t care for you as much in apo but you’re cool now. wish you would be more of a jackass to me though, show me how much you despise humanity you lil shit. multiple arms? good. horns? good. 10/10 great design love you. currently at 8/10/10 why do you need so many bullets for huh? just curious. anyways. infinity/10

you’re good. don’t think you’re like, the best fate protag but you’re good. don’t deserve all the shit you got though lol. here have a head pat. 6/10

you’re only used cause you pair well with dantes. what the fuck is going on in your final art btw. 3/10

gremlin. do not trust. 7/10

oh you know. he’s alright, i guess. 

[likemmmcookies]

Thanks for tagging me @theporgsyourelookingfor I scrolled thru a month of notes for this because i lost it and i’ve been feeling bad since then ---->>> i FORGOT THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS IM SO SORRY. I updated it and finished my blog tags.

Answer these 10 Star Wars-related questions, reblog, and tag your favorite Reylo blogs to join in!

you are all my favorites but here’s few tags

@greyreylo @reylocalligraphy @bensrey-reysben @ridingbensolo @random-fandom-ness @renpresswardrobe @kyloren4hire  @death-maiden @sunshinecomingmyway (i know you’re not a reylo blog)

1) Who is your favorite Star Wars character of the new trilogy (excluding Rey and Kylo)?

Hmmm. I feel like saying someone adorable and amazing like Finn is such a cop-out. Obviously he is a fav. It’s a given. I luff him so much. But honestly also probably Admiral Holdo even tho she’s dead now :/ That pink hair, dark nails, her sass, her leadership? “Flyboy.” And her fucking statement accessories. Iconic.

2) If you had a lightsaber, what color would you want it to be?

Yelloooo

3) What is/are your favorite quote(s) from a Star Wars movie?

Leia, minutes after fleeing a space battle on a ship Vader literally almost captured: I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan.

Vader, flabbergasted at her blatant lie: You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor!

4) Do you think Kylo/Ben will survive Episode IX?

Yes and if he doesn’t I will cry for the next 10 years.

5) What are your top 3 favorite Star Wars films?

The Last Jedi, A New Hope, and Rogue One. And an honorable mention to - READY FOR IT - Attack of the Clones!! It was the first SW movie I’d ever seen AND the awakening of my love for shipping. Anidala forever.

6) Which droid would you most like to own/ have as your sidekick on intergalactic adventures?

K2SO. I don’t even need to go on intergalactic adventures, I just want him to follow me around my office and tell my coworkers to fuck off.

7) Which Jedi master would you most like to train under: Luke, Yoda, Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan?

Obi-Wan. I just feel like we would get along. 

8) What is your favorite scene featuring Rey and Kylo?

When Rey and Kylo whirl back to back in slow motion to fight their way out of the throne room. My heart actually stopped. I stopped breathing. I stopped thinking. Top 10 Life Moments, easily.

9) What order did you initially see the saga films in?

Uuuuuummm how am I supposed to remember this. II, the OG trilogy, III, I.

10) What is your ideal ending for Reylo in Episode IX?

Grey jedi Reylo finding force-sensitive orphans and training them to be happy grey jedis with their Mom and Dad.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

(a year of) Doing the Write Thing #70

So. This DtWT update is a special one, as today marks a year of posting Doing the Write Thing updates! I have a lot of things to say, and most of that comes back to how amazing all of you are? I seriously never thought this series would take off as much as it did, and garner as many beautiful followers as it did. My blog has grown a lot since I started this series, and while it’s never been about the number for me, this continues to be so surreal. 

I didn’t think DtWT would mean as much to me back when I created it as it does now. This series kickstarted me back into writing when I was in a really bad rut this time last year, but I wouldn’t have done all of that without your support. So thank you so much for following these writing updates, even as they’ve gotten more infrequent as intended. 

This blog also turned three on the 25th (I always miss the date :() so also, a huge thanks to that? I know I say it a lot, but I never never never expected the following I’ve garnered over the last three years, so similarly, it’s super surreal to be here three years later. I don’t want to get mega sappy, and I’m running out of time since I want to get this up before twelve, and it’s currently 11:12, but seriously, thank you so much for the support. I can’t put my thanks into words as well as I want to, but you all deserve the world, thank you for making mine so much brighter. :)

So today’s writing session was a different one, ha. I started at around 9, and ended a few minutes ago! The reason it was different was because I actually enjoyed it, which hasn’t been a thing that’s happened all that often in the last four months? I think things are looking up a bit, so yes, quite enjoyed writing tonight! I started a little late after prepping for a competition I’ll be at on Friday, but I’m quite happy with how everything went!

Daily word count goal: 250

Words written: 759

Total word count: 33 139

Total page count: 57

Songs played: Guuyyysss, plot twist, guess who listened to some music while writing today! It wasn’t for super long, but *plot twist intensifies* it wasn’t Daughter?? Can we?? I was listening to Current Joys before writing and didn’t turn it off whilst I was writing (in the beginning lol srry nick love u), so listened to quite a lot of that (entire collection was on shuffle). When Fear from A Different Age came on I was like YAAAAAS BIIITCH DIS FITS THE SCENE DOE

Things to know: A bit of this writing came from notes I have had for a while, which were cool to finally incorporate. Also, I was having a hard time getting to the point, almost? I needed to transition out of this very internal moment to a very external moment, and had no clear pathway to do so, so most of this session was me navigating through the scene to achieve this. I finally did it though, bless. 

How I felt: Also great?? Like no lieee, this writing session, I did not have one inclination to shut my computer and just go upstairs cuz I couldn’t deaallll, I seriously enjoyed taking my time and mulling with my words. It was cool. 

Bad haiku to describe writing session: It’s been a year and / These haikus still suck so no / Development here

same tho

Rating of writing session out of 10 and why: A 9.5! Seriously had so much fun, toward the end I was like ahhhh need to do this post so I need to successfully transition this, so that was a minor *oh nooo* moment, but overall, everything was chill? I talked a lot about mothers, ha. 

On a scale from 1-10 my level of stoked-ness is: Like an 8... Not sure exactly where I’m going with this, so I can see myself quitting after five minutes cuz I’m frustrated, which is nootttt ideal... But I’ll definitely brainstorm more to give myself some ease. 

Lyrics to describe writing session: You're the pretty smartest captain of the team / I love you more than being seventeen

--Evening Sun, The Strokes (First Impressions of Earth)

deez makin me feel all warm and fuzzy like dis writing session doe

GIF to describe writing session: 

also the fact that it’s been a year of casablancas gifs tho can we @ this dedication to keeping the jc consistency (srsly just for the memez at this point, maybe I’ll break protocol and use another gif who knows)

Excerpt: 

So most of what I wrote was actually pretty long, so I’m saving those excerpts for my monthly writing update, but maybe I can find a line or two? 

I haven’t edited this at all so I’ll probably tweak this at some other point but for now:

Hate your mother. Kick her back, steal the ring she wears on her finger or hides in the chest upstairs, sell it, or propose with it. Take her things, gather her loves and ambitions with one hand.

Also I was hella inspired by @sarahkelsiwrites’ liitttttt excerpt from her writing update yesterday, so this is the same concept so @ dem Sarah creds (I wrote this yesterday while delirious and sleepy, and almost forgot about it!). I wasn’t going to include this in the book since it is similar to hers (not really in execution/tone, but in the content itself ha), but she was like noooo doooo it, so here we are:

(context cuz apparently i write in a lot of choppy fragmenty-type sentences, this is about mothers ha)

Won’t cry when you steal her face and leave her sightless, when you break her fingers and fit them to your own knuckles. You are supposed to be the patchwork marionette of her and yet she ends up as the one with the disjointed face and rusted hinges, your abandoned game of slots.

ALSO what is up with me and the POV in this book, Rachel stoooppp. At this point I’m literally accusing the reader, lol what happened to the first person present tense bro like. (Since I’m not publishing this sometimes I do these things where I change things up and experiment but sometimes it needs to gooo). 

I’m going to scream at myself for how many semi colons I have in this chapter but I can’t stop nooooo:

Did she teach him to bicker like he does with Lonan? Dispute until he’s dried of anger? Teach him to scowl with a slouched back; doesn’t he know to stand up straight?

If this chapter had a title it would be Table Manners (which is now in my title list because I kind of like it), because of this excerpt (the grammar in the first line seems wonky af probably should fix that but the more I look at it the weirder it gets lol):

Where’s his please and thank you? Indoor voice, and ironed button up? Perfect son, yes, salute and serve, but he isn’t. Unruly, slapdash, doesn’t care to wash his mouth before he speaks. Where are his table manners?

I don’t really know why I’m sharing this since I don’t particularly like it but this whole fuck you on place cards is something I’m down for:

“Can we just fucking eat?” That’s my shout, an attempted bullet to knife away their echoed argument. Please. I should add. My apologies, I should extend. Fuck you on the place cards.

FIRST of all SAME Reeve, saaaame. It’s all about the food girl yas. I also use knife too many times as a verb in this book so gotta change that. (This is at breakfast so she’s referring to place cards at a breakfast table, for example.)

(this comes directly after the table manners things by the way)

I’m sharing this because Darren is me right now, Darren is so much me. Very much so me. I also did a similar name list thing in book three, so here it is again!

It remains silent like that. Reeve. Harrison. Lonan. Darren. Around the kitchen table. Harrison. Lonan. Darren. Reeve. Listen to the clock tick. Lonan. Darren. Reeve. Harrison. Group gazed, we’re not telepathic. Darren. Reeve. Harrison. Lonan. Fed up, what kind of children are you?

So that’s all for now! Thank you guys so much again for a year of these... I know there should be around 300 more of these than there are, so thank you for being patient with these not so daily daily updates, seriously, I appreciate it so much. Your support means the world. <3 Here’s to another year!

--Rachel

[prettysei-remade]

graphic design is my passion actually the last time i made a graphic of any kind was when i was like 10 and i have sadly Not magically improved since then rip;; also dont worry the comic sans is ironic im not that awful......or am i 

hey there angels (instead of demons bc ur not demons ur all angels get it haha), it’s me, ya maknae! this is a very looooooong post so buckle in, my pals

AHEM 

exactly this time last year, i was probably laughing and/or crying at the thought of ever having mutuals here, much less having too many to do a proper follow forever in a rush the day before i post it (rip) so becAUSE i ran out of time and would probably give up in the middle, i decided to just talk abt how much i love everyone in the Stream Team gc and also make a shitty graphic so i could bless ur guys’ new years with ot13 and make it seem like i know what i’m doing :) 

ok im gonna get sappy for a sec and then u can all get to the part u actually care about (the part that’s also sappy but directed at specific people) 

my friends!! my loves!!! the bestest people on the planet!!!!! i love you <3<3 you guys are the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most hilarious group of friends in the world and i’m so fucking lucky to know all of you. you make me laugh,,you make me cry (in a good way),,,,,you make me like myself when i dont feel like it,,,,im so?? blessed??? to have people to talk to and scream abt kpop with and be myself around. i’m more comfortable with u guys than probably anyone else?? like. even irl because 1) i’ll probably never come out, 2) none of my friends know anything abt kpop, and 3) none of my friends are rlly.....aware of the things my brain tells me about myself sometimes. which brings me to the last thing before i start yelling abt u all in alphabetical order: 

thank you guys for being the Good Brains to help out when my Mean Brain gets too mean. 

💙 

@byungjoo 

laura!! idk if u think abt this as often as i do (probably not) but like,, remember before we were friends and we had that ““discussion”” for abt .2 seconds regarding toppdogg going on the unit and then i thought u hated me for a couple weeks and then we became like the most amazing friends?? well reminding you of that is basically my long roundabout way of saying that our friendship is kind of a miracle to me, and i’m so so thankful that you’ve become someone i can trust with anything and not be judged for it :’) you always know what to say and you always make me feel special when we talk and just?? wow...don’t forget me when you become the biggest bts blog in the world......i saw one of your gifsets that had like 5k+ notes and almost shed a tear i was so proud of u.. i love you and thank u for being amazing all the time!! and for introducing me to twice and gfriend aka the most amazing girls!!! and of course....#laurjoo5ever <3

@gipsydangger 

yo jo (that was lame im sry you deserve better) you havent been in the chat for super long but you’re One Of Us and also 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad so lots of love for you!! thank you for singing all star with me in an attempt to cleanse our chat of ******** (im just (all)starring out his name so he doesnt find this post and try to eat my heart again), thank you for being so nice and thoughtful and sweet and all the other amazing things youve been already, thank you for giving iz a shot and somehow becoming a fan in like 5 minutes (???amazing) you!! are a rock star!!! wow!!!!!!

@hjjxxn​

ok alex i know you’re not tec h ni c a l ly in the chat but lets be real;;you’re still my Toppklass Queen ;; ur adorable! ur so kind! u work so hard! ur such a sweetheart! forget toppklass queen, u r the queen of my heart 💖 i cant believe we’re both hojoon stans AND yoongi stans it’s like we were meant to be friends or smth idk?? and you got me into winner and sent me the bEST videos of them holy shit im still laughing abt the one where theyre dancing to ‘hello bitches’ jshdkahds and mino’s duck song,,i cri :’( you have the best taste so i’m vv grateful to know you in the first place and! talking to you is super fun even tho we dont do it often <3<3 ilu <3

@itsachocolatecake 

jess <3 our leader,,mother,,,resident Cutie Pie <3<3 i am so fond of you?? you’re loads and loads of fun to talk with and the chat would be so different without u, i’m not even gonna imagine it!! instead im gonna remember how you always cheer me up right away and help me remember whats good about myself and tell me that i’m not alone and give me great ideas for metaphors involving brains (like mental brains not physical brains)!!! our mutualness (mutualism? mutuality?? idk) goes waaay back, like, relatively, so thank you for following me in the first place bc it means we’re friends now !! love you <3 

@kimsanggyum 

kaliiiiiii!! my wonderful fellow scorpio (AHEM i mean what im not a scorpio who said that i’ll fight them) ur super fun and cute and as soon as you joined u fit right in even tho we’re all kind of weird and now you are One Of Us and it’s kind of hard to believe that you havent been since the beginning?? you’re such a cutie and i love love love talking to you and stuff <3 jdkjsldf dog pics are one of the many ways to my heart and your dog is amazing!!! thank you for sharing!!! you are amazing!!! tell canyon monroe i love him (again) and tell him from me to be nice to laura too,,anyway!! love u lots <3 

@lapillity 

melia. you. are. the. best. my text posts never go noteless bc of you :’) you’re honestly truly just the greatest?? not just bc you like my text posts tho, youre genuinely sweet and suuuuper nice like,,i cant say anything bad about any of the Stream Team tbh but MELIA!!1! you would have to murder a man for a not-justifiable reason for me to say anything bad about you :/ i think you are an Angel and you’re so cute??how are u so cute i dont get it :(( thanks for being my friend and also helping me reject that guy that one time,,without you i definitely would’ve screwed things up tbh so seriously!! thank you and i love you <3<3 

@minty-sugar-kpop 

minty i think i should tell u now that whenever i type “rip” on my phone the next suggested word is always “minty” :’) we’re always screaming abt kpop groups together like!! when clap was released u screamed about seventeen with me!!! when i told u i was getting into twice u screamed about twice with me!! when nothing else is happening u scream about toppdogg with me (and the rest of us)!!!! i love that youre as excited about your fave groups as i am about my fave groups because it helps remind me that it’s NOT weird to be really super extremely dedicated to things that make u happy and i still struggle with that sometimes so.... thanks for being you i guess?? also for getting rid of ******** from our chat with the power of ot13 :’)) love you <3<3<3 

@reallyabananya

kat!! my Superhero!!! the lifegiver for minsung stans everywhere;; i am so grateful for literally everything you’ve ever done in your life but specifically 1) translating every. single. one. of minsung’s often long and very complex posts, 2) being my role model for running an update-esque blog! like!! if kat can do everything she does for her blogs and translate stuff and be so efficient at everything, i can do it for my one tiny little blog!!, 3) working so hard but always being so so sweet to everyone and being so amazingly humble all the time and being somebody i admire not only as a blogger but as a person too <3 (wow that was che e s y lol) im love you!! <3 

@saltygot7 

hi kendall! another scorpio wowie!!! of course i say “another” bc i already mentioned how kali is a scorpio,,it’s not because i’m a scorpio. because i’m not haha. anyway. im sorry i let ******** come between us, i know you didn’t mean to create a demon that would eventually possess both you and your phone and try to eat all of our hearts. i know and i’m sorry and i love you!!! i also know that you still think those asks u sent were hilarious but i forgive you bc i know you love me too <3<3 i can’t believe my Ultimate Bias and the true visual of our group loves me!! wow!!! thanks for all your amazing selfies, they always make me smile :’) you rlly know how to cheer everyone up and get us in a happy mood and just,,,thanks for always being your lovely self! love u lots <3 

@sunshinesanggyun 

bella 💕 i love you, i love you, i love you 💕 idk if you know this or not, but you were actually my first tk mutual <3 i remember when i got the notif that you followed me back and i was so excited because this person!! this person with an amazing blog and who i already thought was super cool!! wanted to follow me!!! i still think it’s amazing that you wanted to be my friend but i can’t really say that i “can’t believe it” anymore because i can;;; you’re my friend and i’m your friend and i love you!! i’ll remind you of that every day if i have to. you’re the other 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad (along with jovano) and it makes me so happy that you’re a fan now too!!!! you’re just awesone tbh?? you help me with my shitty stuff and i try my best to help you with your shitty stuff and!! you’re one of my best friends!! i’m so so happy and lucky and blessed and thankful to know you! never forget how much i love you forever 💕💕💕 

@toppdoggzz 

jacqueline;; the awesome aunt that’s super nice and who helps people when they’re sad;;(i can’t remember jess’s exact wording but it was True);;;; you’re so cool and amazing and honestly i find it incredible how you’ve been with bts from the beginning!! is that a weird thing to say as a compliment?? shdfsdhkd sorry but sticking with a group from debut is really admirable, especially because bts didnt start out super big but you stayed with em anyway :’) you’re such a star and you reblog my selfies when i ask you to (btw ur tags on my latest selfies had me cryin;;find someone who will compliment you every day like jacqueline complimented my decent-ish selfies;;) and you’re so great to talk with and yeah!! i love u!!!! 

@zombietwink 

isaiah. i hope u believe me when i say, from the very bottom of my heart: you are the Meme to my Internet Connection, the Cherry to my Bomb, the Chanyeol to my.....You. idk. you take my worst text posts that i make at like 3am and add the best things to them and make them Good and i love our convos in the replies of my posts alsjdsfjjs also can i just say?? i’m still not 100% sure what the whole thing is with like the “kin” meme (i get what it is but i dont rlly Get It u know) but literally any mention of it ever reminds me of you :’) it’s actually astounding how many memes make me think of you tbh..anyway, ur very very cute and soft and nice and youve been mutuals with me for a Long Time so thanks for thinking im cool enough to follow!!! and for still following me!!! love you <3 

wow that took a long time but it was worth it!! tho i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just skipped everything and only read the little section abt you lmao 

well, happy new year! i hope lots of really good, and happy, and lovely, and wonderful things are waiting for you in 2018 ✨✨✨