#// THANK YOU KIA FOR THE IMAGE

[warriorslantern]

Yₑₐₕ, ᵢ'ₘ ₗₒₒₖᵢₙ' ᵢₙ ₜₕₑ ₘᵢᵣᵣₒᵣ

ₐₙd ᵢ ₛₑₑ ₙₒ fᵤcₖᵢₙg fₗₐwₛ

𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞-𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 /𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐝. 𝐦𝐮𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝟐𝟎+, 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐬𝐞𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫, 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭

[strwberri-milk]

the moment he realises you love him, despite everything (/ everyone) advising you against it? with childe, kaeya, alhaitham, and dainsleif if you can?? hope you're having a wonderful day<33

Childe wasn't expecting for you to want more than just something casual with him. The two of you were friends and that's all he thought he was willing to offer until you confessed your feelings for him and he decided to take a risk and say yes.

You made him happier than he thought someone could, knowing that he didn't exactly have a normal life but you never minded and loved him in spite of it. He knows that your friends are concerned for you, telling you that maybe you should find someone else to be with that won't be risking his life every time he goes outside and honestly, a part of him agrees. He loves you enough to know that he'd hate to see you sad because he was mia/kia but a more selfish part of him wants you to stay.

He overhears you telling them that none of that matters to you one day. You asked him to come meet you after you were hanging out with your friends and he happened to arrive a little early, handing off to the side as you tell them none of that matters to you and that you know he'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose. Your friends seem a little skeptical but you simply roll your eyes, looking for him and grinning when you see him standing there.

You ask him why he's holding you tightly, no malice in your voice and are promptly kept quiet with the press of his lips against yours. He doesn't say much before the two of you walk off, quietly replaying your interaction with your friends in his head and thanking you for loving him.

Kaeya knows that there are lots of rumors about him that fly around and he never lets them bother him because he knows that most of the time they aren't true. Some things are exaggerated from fact but ultimately, it's not the end of the world to him what people seem to think of him.

The only time it matters to him is when he's thinking about what you think of him. You've told him time and time again that you love him and that nothing anybody says could ever change your mind but he can't help but hesitate every once in a while. He wonders if there really is nothing he could do to change your mind but he doesn't want to test that either.

One day he asks you point blank if you really want to stay with him. He started hearing a lot more today for some reason and some of the comments were beginning to crawl under his skin. You reassure him again that there's nothing he could do that would change your mind, holding his face and kissing his forehead. You can't help but laugh a little at the fact that he looks like a kicked puppy, crawling into his lap to continue to give him some more reassurances.

It takes a while but when you're cuddled up in bed with his head on your chest you know that you've quelled his anxieties for now. Kaeya's favourite place to be is always in your arms, holding you tightly as he allows his walls to all come down so he can bathe in the warmth of your love.

Al Haitham doesn't ever mind what people say about him. He knows opinions are just opinions and they're not always based in fact so whatever people say about him is simply not important. You know he's also very secure in his self image so you've never felt the need to reassure him or worry about him being insecure.

Sometimes, you tell him what people are saying about him. Even though he doesn't care he can't help but be curious on occasion. He knows that objectively, being told that he probably doesn't care much for his partner and is only focused on his research.

You tell him you know that it's not true and he nods absently, running the words over and trying to think if there really is something that he should be doing something about it. When he looks up and sees you've left he tries to find you, seeing that you've simply gone to do whatever you normally would with your evening at home with him.

He's surprised you've managed to read his mind, feeling you put your hand on his chest and reminding him again that you know it's not true. You know he loves you and you love him, even if he doesn't like to say it much. You begin to add on all of the things that he's done for you to confirm his affections for you, Al Haitham giving you a soft smile as he realises he does show a side of himself that only you're allowed to see.

Dainsleif thought it was unfair of you to be constantly waiting for him to come visit you for just a few days before disappearing again, knowing that his lurking around the city at night lends him the ability to hear rumors that he normally wouldn't be able to hear.

He also knows that your friends hate him, some doubtful he even exists and the others telling you you deserve to be with someone who actually seems to want to be around you. Sometimes he tries to broach the subject himself, finding himself at the receiving end of you rolling your eyes and telling him that none of the bothers you. You knew what you were in for and you're not going to get mad at him for doing exactly what he warned you he would be doing.

One day he slips into your house unnoticed. He knows that you should be asleep and he doesn't want to wake you up by accident. Upon slipping into your room he sees a bundle of papers, recognising the one on top as the most recent letter he's written to you.

He realises that the entire stack is just all the letters he's written to you, smiling to himself as he sees just how carefully you've preserved all of his letters. He hears you shifting around on your bed, turning to face him as you call out his name as a question, responding to you in a voice just as soft as he gives you a hug and kiss to greet you.

[the-ellia-west]

wooOKAY

I am... Shocked, more than a little confused, and incredibly Greatful

Thank you all so much for 400 followers

(Jeez, when did it go to 420?)

Anywayyyyy

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ASK ME FOR SOMETHING ON ONE OF THESE LISTS (Do several if you want)

FOLLOWERS

On request I will draw a little guy of your Ocs, however many you want from 1-5 (It'll be bad)

I will give you my best guess as to one of your anons if you have any

I will give you 3 images that represent your vibe in your ask box

I will recommend a book for you to read

I will put a joke, or several in your ask box

Or I'll give you a personalized Writing guidance session based on what I know

MOOTS

Everything in followers Plus this:

On request I will improv something of your choice, maybe a summary of a WIP, Character, Or anything else

I will give you a song I think represents you

I will send you a specialized sneak peek into TCOT if you want

I will make you a collage for a character

If ten of you band together to ask for it, I will redo my conspiracy board

Free-write a short story based on a prompt you give me

I will make you a shitty slideshow

I will write out a whole scene for a WIP of your choice, with a mood of your choice

And I will make a personalized writing tips/WIP info post of anything (SFW) you ask for

Please pop your requests in my inbox, reblogs, or replies

And I'm always open for a conversation!!!!!1

GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE AND MAKE SURE TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER

@oliolioxenfreewrites @friendfromdsmp @thepeculiarbird @corinneglass @phoenixradiant

@sunflowerrosy @kia-is-poisoned @rivenantiqnerd @aesthetic-writer18 @ryahisbored

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@attemptingwriter @purplehandshumanfeelings @bluberimufim @artsandstoriesandstuff

@fatskwirrel @wyked-ao3 @sunflowerrosy @lunaeuphternal @sunglasses-in-the-bentley

[yoongisleftearring]

part three: acquainted with the hood of my car

S E C R E T S E C R E T

pairing: Idol!Changbin x Influencer!reader

-> in which Stray Kids attempt to protect their image after an unexpected encounter with you, but, oh, Changbin is kinda hot? AND emotionally intelligent?? Oh no.

word count: 655

a/n: I've kept you waiting long enough I'm SORRY

previous < masterlist > next

Taglist: @amara-mars @mynameisnotlaura @exo-skz-imagines @pvnkfangirl @cursedcursives @chvngii @lethallyprotected @junebug032 @soupbinlily @smally97 @wondering-out-loud @bigsobs4skz @marcillfll @marsattacks @abbiestearsricochet @3sriracha @hinanitiram @hyvnfilms

This was going to be your day. You just knew it. 

Sure, you accidentally hit snooze on your alarm for way longer than you should have, resulting in your shaking hands fumbling with the doorknob, using your chin to balance your large binder between it and your chest so you could twist said doorknob.

The shaking hands could also be down to the fact that you haven't had coffee yet today, but that's normal, right?

I forgot to pick the coffees up.

I'll text you their orders.

Perfect. Just what you needed.

You walked backwards through the café doors, takeaway drinks in hand. The coffees lay in a cardboard tray, four tucked nicely in their slots, the fifth balancing precariously in the middle of them. The large binder filled with essential documents was nestled in your underarm, but as you walked, you could feel it slip. Luckily you weren't far from the building now, just one more street away. Your mind was far from the road, focusing on not dropping or spilling anything, and maybe you should have paid more attention, but this is a zebra crossing; I shouldn't have to.

Though, the white KIA that came hurtling towards you would probably disagree. 

Upon seeing your struggling figure, the car driver slammed on the brakes, the movement pushing his head forward, straining his neck. His head was down, and his eyes were closed, but he felt it. It didn't feel like much, but who was he to know what force kills helpless individuals on zebra crossings? He raised his head slowly and with much effort. He couldn't see you. He undid his seatbelt and pushed the car door open, standing out of it and rubbing slightly at his neck. Something was pooling at his feet.

Oh god, is that blood?

The substance led back to a small puddle surrounded by the deceased coffees and their now crushed cardboard holder.

Thank god.

Snapping out of his slight haze, the man registered your figure, thankfully moving, dusting yourself off as you stood with a small stumble, your hands flailing in an attempt at regaining balance. Your head snaps towards him, eyes fierce.

"You fu-" You began but abruptly stopped upon seeing him. He was slightly short but really, really buff. His face-

"Oh my god, are you okay?" he shrieked, eyes wide in panic as he almost ran towards you. 

"Me?" you chuckled cooly, scoffing slightly and trying to ignore the searing pain in your temple. "I'm perfectly fine, you?" As the words left your mouth, you felt yourself stumble again, the world becoming blurrier and darker. He watched as your limp body fell to the concrete below you with a thud. He tried to reach out, but the shock slowed his movements.

"Oh, fuck!"

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Changbin had no issue removing your limp form from the scene of the crime, neither physically nor from bystanders, which is actually quite concerning in hindsight. 

Changbin wasn't actually sure what to do in this situation. If someone had told him before, he would probably have dismissed them because: that would never happen to me. He laid you carefully in the backseat of his car and there his jacket over your body in case the police happened to pull him over. He thought it would look slightly less suspicious that way. 

Changbin wasn't sure what to do, but he knew somebody who would. 

The drive to the dorm was probably one of the most stressful situations Changbin ever thinks he's been in. He was constantly trying to turn his head so he could see you. God, he doesn't know what he would have done had you woken up then. Thankfully the drive wasn't long, partially thanks to his legally-teetering speed.

Punching the numbers into the keypad at the main door of the building posed a surprising challenge when two of his arms supported your weight. Still, he managed and swiftly made his way through the building and to his dorm, hoping to avoid any of his neighbours. 

[ierotits]

hi! i just reblogged a post you added to about native land being stolen over time. I was wondering where you go the Aotearoa map from? I’d love to share it in more places and add a source :) thank you!

kia ora! i can't remember which image I used but if I had to guess unfortunately it's likely one I got from slides used in a Ngāi Tahu history course I did at university so no direct source!! however there's plenty of sources to use online that discuss the stealth of māori land, and treaty settlements attempting to gain it back in the modern day!

(most of these are very basic introductions but its somewhere to start, mainly govt, news, and iwi sources)

[ghostofthemost141]

I'll Be Back

Chapter 3

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.4 Ch.5. Ch.6. Ch.7. Ch.8.

About: Amelia 'Amy' Vargas had everything going for her. Her dream dog, big house, and in the honeymoon phase with her husband Alejandro Vargas. Her worst fear comes true when Alejandro is KIA during a mission. Or so she thinks. He comes back home, seemingly normal and like his usual self, but Rodolfo, who witnessed his death, is very suspicious.

Each chapter will have individual warnings

!Warnings!: Sprinkle of Suggestive Talk

“Do you need any help, amar?” Alejandro’s voice broke my thoughts. 

It’s been about a week since Alejandro has been home and today was the day that all of the guys were coming over to hang out. I was baking them some homemade lasagna as well as some garlic bread. 

“No, I’m good, Ale, but thank you.” I say, beaming up at him. 

Alejandro leaned down and kissed my neck, making me sigh in content. 

“I'll be sure to repay you greatly later~.” Alejandro's dropped an octave, sending chills down my spine. 

“I'll take you up on that offer then.” I flirt back, as Alejandro held my chin and made me look deep into his eyes, “but not right now. Our guests will be here soon.” 

“Fastidiar.” Alejandro mumbled as he pulled away from me and continued to finish cleaning up our place. 

I rolled my eyes at him, knowing that deep down it was because he loves me. I stuck the lasagna into the oven, setting the timer for forty minutes. 

“That already smells so good, querida.” Alejandro complimented. 

“Thank you, babe.” I say, “should we put Winston up for Johnny?” 

“I asked him about that and he said he was fine with Winston. Sent him a picture and everything.” Alejandro informed me. 

I nodded in response. Johnny has always disliked dogs due to the fact that he was attacked by so many at once during a mission he was on and he was by himself. I don't fault him for that at all but Winston loves everyone. I looked over to find Ale coddling Winston, as if Winston was a human baby. I smiled seeing that image. Imagine what he would do with our own child. Speaking of…

“You look adorable like that.” I comment. 

“Hm?” 

“Coddling him.” I say. 

“What does that mean?” Alejandro smirked. 

“I mean, well, if you're like that with a dog imagine how you would be with a human.” I comment, hoping he'd understand what I'm putting down. 

A smug smirk painted on Alejandro’s face. 

“You said later, so later It will be.” He remarked. 

“Lo que.” I mumble, turning my back to him and hearing him chuckle in response. 

You're such an ass sometimes Vargas but I surely don't regret marrying you. 

~

“Winston, this is Johnny.” I introduced Winston to Johnny. 

“Put yo’ damn hand ou’ for him Johnny.” Price commented as Johnny slowly crouched down to Winston's level. 

Of course Winston was wagging his tail with his ears perked up at Johnny but I could tell Johnny was a little nervous. 

“He won't bite, hermano. I promise.” Alejandro reassured him. 

Johnny nodded as he reached out and petted Winston on his head, Winston immediately licking his hand and smelling him. 

“Told you.” Simon mumbled. 

Johnny laughed as Winston walked up to Johnny and giving him a few licks on his face. 

“Alrigh’ Winston is good in my book.” Johnny announced.

“Huzzah!” I exclaimed out loud, making everyone chuckle. 

*BEEPBEEPBEEP* 

“Lasagna's ready.” I announce. 

“It smells delightful, Mrs. Vargas.” Gaz told me. 

“Gaz, I told you, just Amy is alright.” I reassure him. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Gaz said, knowing I was joshing him. 

As Johnny and them sat down at the dining table, Alejandro came to help me out. 

“Please Amelia, let me take over.” Alejandro begged. 

“No it's fine Ale, I promise.” I reassure him. 

I then leaned in close to his ear. 

“You still owe me that payback tonight.” 

Alejandro chuckled as he pecked my temple. 

“I won't forget.” He remarked with a smirk. 

Putting our feelings aside, Alejandro and I set the table and put the dishes and the dessert I made in the middle of the table. 

“Gracias por esta comida, Amelia.” Rudy thanked me. 

“De nada, Rudy.” I said with a smile. 

“It smells bloody fucking good.” Price commented, eyeballing the dish. 

“Well, dig in y'all.” I said. 

Quick as a flash, everyone got their hands on the dish, with Alejandro making sure I still got some despite not minding on not being able to get the first portion. In any normal setting, Alejandro always makes sure I eat first before he does, even if he just came back from a mission. We all ate in silence, but that to me is just a compliment in my eyes. 

“This is delicious, Amelia.” Simon spoke first, seeing his plate was nearly finished. 

“Thank you, Simon.” 

Simon had his balaclava off with just a black medical mask on his face. I never knew he was blonde until right after Alejandro and Los Vaqueros took down El Sin Nombre, but it suits him. Other times we have met up, Simon has worn his balaclava if we met up in public, but if we met at each other’s houses, he just opts for the medical mask. Johnny says it has taken him a while to even wear the balaclava mask over his normal Ghost mask so I know it will take a while for him to go maskless, in which he can take all the time that he needs. 

“I second that.” Price added. 

Everyone was non stop complimenting the dish and the dessert I made and it made me feel so good about myself. Besides being Alejandro’s wife, it made me feel like I had another purpose, in a weird way. 

“Alejandro, you're such a liar!” 

“¡No soy un maldito mentiroso!” Alejandro cursed at Johnny. 

“What?” I asked, finally joining in on their conversation. 

“During our mission together, I caught him kissing a picture of you.” Johnny said. 

Almost immediately a deep red blush emitted on Alejandro’s face. 

“Aww, you did miss me, Ale.” I joked, nudging him on the arm with my shoulder. 

In one swift movement, Alejandro quickly grabbed my face and smashed his lips onto mine. The entire crew went ‘OOOO” in a loud uproar, except for Simon, who just shook his head at the immaturity of his crew. Alejandro sneered his eyes at me as he smirked at me. 

“Te burlas de una mujer.” 

“Por eso soy Vargas.” I smirk back. 

“Oi you two get a room why don't ya!” Johnny exclaimed in a joking manner. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Alejandro flustered as he apologized, pulling away from me. 

“Dinner and dessert was lovely, Mrs. Vargas. I mean-Amy.” Gaz told me. 

“Why thank you Gaz.” I said. 

“Now, whose up for a game of never have I ever?” Johnny suggested. 

Oh boy. 

~ 

“Alrigh’. Never, uh have I ever-” 

“Read the bloody fucking card, Soap.” Simon grumbled at Johnny, who is not holding his alcohol down well. 

“I am! Never have I ever gone skinny dipping.” 

Shit. I know Alejandro is eyeing me right now. Why oh why? Oh fuck it. Alejandro and I grabbed our drink in unison and sipped it, hearing the entire dining room be emitted with gasps. 

“When did it happen?!” Johnny exclaimed. 

“Whenever we first got together. We were drinking by the pond and well, yeah.” Alejandro briefly said, not wanting to go into it anymore for a good reason. 

~

“Ale I'm not sure if this is a good idea!” I silently yelled as he started stripping. 

“Come onnn, have some fun chica!” Alejandro slurred his words a little, absolutely smashed from the alcohol we were drinking. 

I was about to yell at him until he stripped his shirt off. Despite it being pitch black outside, the moon was bright enough to emit light onto him. I could see his perky chest, his big arms and toned skin. Oh my God, he is hot. So hot. I turned away from being flustered. 

“Que? You scared to look?” Alejandro smirked. 

“Uh no! I just didn't..I don't know!” 

Alejandro chuckled, knowing that he did indeed caught me looking. He then reached down and pulled his jeans off. Shit, his legs were big as well. He could squeeze me head with those thighs. 

Wait, what? 

Amelia stop! 

“You're gonna get your clothes wet?” Alejandro asked. 

“N-No, I'm gonna..” I trailed off, procrastinating as much as I could. 

“What's wrong, Amelia?” Alejandro asked me as he walked up to me, sobering up a little bit. 

Alejandro got close to me, making my heart race. We just got together and he wants to go skinny dipping?! It's not the fact that he wants to swim naked, it's the fact that I know he is going to look down on me for how I look. 

“Amelia. Look at me.” Alejandro pleaded as he held my chin. 

I looked up at him and he held my chin in place to avoid me looking down. 

“Am I being too much?” 

“No, you're not Ale. You're just..not going to like how I look.” I confess. 

“Eso es una mierda.” Alejandro growled in annoyance. 

“It's true. It's not bullshit.” 

Alejandro slammed his lips onto mine, immediately running his tongue over my lips. I softly moaned into the kiss, feeling him force his tongue into my mouth. I had no idea what was happening but it all felt so good. So, so good. After a few seconds, Alejandro pulled his lips away, but remained close. 

“You are beautiful, querida. Join me in the water.” Alejandro said. 

Before I could even protest, Alejandro stripped his boxers off, holy shit, and jumped into the water. He rose back up, flicking his long, jet black hair out of his face. 

“Water feels great!” He calls out to me. 

I tiptoed close to the water, afraid of him seeing me. The water tickled my toes, but it was lukewarm at best. 

“I’ll turn around.” Alejandro offered, swimming around to turn his back to me. 

I waited a few seconds to see if he would peek and he didn’t. 

“I won’t peek I promise.” He reassured me, as if he was reading my mind. 

I sighed deeply, feeling relaxed and calm as I stripped my clothes off, tossing them next to Alejandro’s. Alejandro kept his back turned as I got into the water, making sure my entire body was submerged in the water as I swam towards him. 

“Thank you for not peeking.” I mumbled, announcing my presence. 

Alejandro whipped around, smiling big seeing me there. 

“Of course. Why would I?” 

I shrugged my shoulders, for I didn’t have any reason to think that way with him. I can tell that Alejandro was catching on. 

“You don’t have to tell me, but I am right here and here for you. You don’t have to worry about anything with me, hermosa.” Alejandro cooed to me. 

I giggled in response, feeling flustered. 

“Thank you, Ale.” 

“Ale?” 

“Your name is a mouthful sometimes.” I joke. 

Alejandro laughed, seeing the alcohol slowly wearing off. 

“Well then can I call you Amy then?” He asked. 

“Of course, Ale.” 

Alejandro then leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips that wasn’t sexual in any way, just full of love. Infinite love. 

~

[dreemurr-skelememer]

PLEASEE OH MY GOD WATCH SEASON THREE KIA?!!!!!!!! PLEASE WATCH S3 OF MOB PSYCHO. IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THIS SHOW PLEA

(sorry i couldn't decide which image to send..hope u understand)

THANK YOU POPI. I KNOW YOU ARE. DONT WORRY WE PLAN TO eventually

[thiswasinevitableid]

A New Role (Sternclay)

The winner of the "spooky jobs" prompt poll was: Actor known for horror & person fake dating them to help soften their image. Thanks to @bellafarallones2 for playing in the space on discord. This fill is NSFW

“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” Barclay loops the copper tie around his neck as his agent lounges in a living room chair.

“Because if you ever want this career change to work, dear boy, you need to make it so that the first things people associate with you aren’t blood and gore. You said as much yourself.”

“And I’m regretting it more every minute.” He grumbles, slipping on his jacket. Dani helped him pick it out when he first made it big. Paisley lining was lucky, she said. 

Ned sighs, professional schmoozer mask dropping, “If it turns out to be miserable or he’s clearly bad for your health, we can cancel the agreement. But remember, you have three dates to decide. If it goes past that, you’re seeing this through for six months.”

“Don’t look so glum.” Boyd steps into the entryway, keys in hand, “Guy’s a looker.”

“Didn’t take you for a cradle robber.” Ned says brusquely as he stands. 

“Nothing of the kind, pussycat, so keep your head on. C’mon big shot, let’s get you on the road.”

They drive towards UCLA, stopping well before the student housing but not in an area that’s been sorely neglected by the city. Boyd stops the car and whistles out his window, setting off dogs up and down the block. When the man waiting outside a grey apartment building looks up, Barclay feels like howling too. 

“Evening, Joe. Hop in.”

“Joseph. And thank you.” He climbs into the Kia’s backseat with Barclay and Boyd steers them towards the freeway. 

Joseph Stern turns his blue eyes on Barclay, who’s too busy wondering if Ned is fucking psychic–because there’s his type and there’s “this guy walked out of a late-night jerk off fantasy and into his car”--to hear the question he asks the first time. 

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I said” Joseph replies calmly, “it’s nice to meet you in person, Barclay, and would you like to see the list of conversation starters I wrote for this ‘date’?”

Barclay chuckles.

“I’m serious.”  Joseph turns his phone screen so Barclay can see the bullet points. 

“You really think we need those?” Is the guy that convinced Barclay will be boring?

The other man tucks his phone back into his pocket, “Look, if this doesn’t pay off for you, all you have to fall back on is a beloved film career and the money that comes with it, and the fact people will hire you for those same kinds of roles again. If this doesn’t work out for me, I get more sessions reading over bad exposition in a Discovery Channel basement. If I’m lucky. So if you’re me, it pays to be prepared.”

Great, he thinks Barclay is boring and stupid. 

He takes the phone, glances at it, then hands it back, “Okay, got a few.”

“I can send-”

“Memorized” Barclay taps his temple, “professional, remember?”

A flicker of annoyance, or maybe stress, crosses Joseph’s face, “Right. Of course. Sorry.”

They’re booked at a trendy “New American” place, high ceilings and bright lights showing him just how many immediately recognize his face as he walks in. By the time Joseph pulls his chair out for him, there are no fewer than ten cameras on them.

Some days he really fucking hates cell phones. 

Even with the starters, the conversation is stilted through the appetizers and bordering on stale when the main course comes.

Barclay takes a bite and sighs, “I wish places like this wouldn’t take this kind of shortcut.”

Joseph looks from his own risotto to Barclay’s pot pie, “Pre-made filling?”

“Close. Pre-made crust. I mean, I know crust isn’t always easy to do but, like, the filling is fucking amazing and then they’ve got it on wet cardboard. See?” He spears a piece and holds it out. 

Joseph leans back like Barclay’s about to stab him, manages to smile, “I’ll take your word for it.”

They make it to the end of dinner, but only just. As the check appears, their server murmurs shyly, “I loved you in Blunt Edges.”

It’s the highlight of Barclay’s night. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

A Killer Romance?

Horror heavyweight Barclay Cobb was seen out last night on what seemed to be a romantic dinner for two….

Joseph sets his phone on the table, goes back to staring at the ceiling and replaying everything he did wrong last night. Their gambit is working, but Barclay had a miserable time and Joseph felt got to have all the fun of first-date jitters with none of the benefits. 

Maybe he should have just told the actor that he’s had a crush on him since college. 

If they were dating for real, maybe he could have confessed over a few glasses of wine that he once broke a vibrator from how he was using it during Thin Air, where Barclay’s murderous ski guide picks off a group of rich friends at a chalet. 

But if Barclay is trying to leave that image behind him, Joseph doubts he wants to know someone used to jerk off to the sight of him covered in gore.

He has two more chances to make this really work. He’s charmed his way into, and out of, plenty of places. These dates are just another two job interviews to ace. He doesn’t want anything more from them than that. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second date is going better. Their conversation doesn’t feel stilted. Barclay just feels like a sheep being herded into position by a very cute border collie. 

Joseph is far smoother tonight, bordering on flirtatious, and maybe it would work if Barclay didn’t know why he was really agreeing to this. He decides to let Joseph steer the conversation, content be smiled at and complimented while ignoring how it all feels rehearsed. And the fact Joseph didn’t order a cocktail in spite of Barclay knowing they’re killer here. Like he’s afraid Barclay might try something. 

Then the T.V above the bar switches from playing some B-list thriller to one of his movies. Someone front of house must have realized he’s here. He doesn’t hide the scowl quick enough, and Joseph turns to look at the screen, then back with a quizzical expression. 

“Sorry, know I should be flattered but I feel weird watching myself. Especially in that one; director was a fucking dick.”

“Really? I've heard mixed things about him.” 

“Yep” Barclay refills both their water glasses, “he spent the whole shoot antagonizing me. Then at the end he was like ‘surprise, I did that so you’d give a believably angry performance and it’s just like, man, what the fuck? I literally get paid to pretend, you don’t have to goad me into having the feeling for real.”

“Ugh, that’s awful. Any time I read about that happening it just sounds so insulting to the actors and their skill.”

“Right?” Barclay shakes his head, amused at the memory that’s resurfaced, “I got so fucking stressed during that shoot I figured out how to make pizza from scratch in my hotel room.”

“Wait, how?” Joseph is leaning forward, mouth quirked in thought, “you’d need an oven.”

“Place had a grill on the deck, so I used that. Made for some good sauce too, since I could char the tomatoes.”

Joseph makes a little sound of delight, then smiles, “If it had been me I think I would have ended up getting the dough stuck to the ceiling when I tossed it.”

“Uhhhh”

“You didn’t” Blue eyes brighten.

“Technically it was the ceiling fan…”

Barclay’s description of the incident lasts them through to dessert. As they’re eating lemon basil gelato, Joseph casts another glance at the T.V.

“If you’re trying to break into the celebrity chef game, why not go that direction?” He gestures behind him to where a younger Barclay is menacing campers on the beach, “a horror cookbook could be a good enough gimmick to get people invested, especially if it included stories like the one you told me. Then people buy it, use it, realize you’re also a great cook, and then you can sell more books. And I’d certainly watch a horror themed cooking show.”

Joseph is earnestly thinking through the logistics, as if trying to help, so Barclay gives him the earnest answer.

“I thought about it. And I think doing some of that could be fun. But a big part of doing this is that I’m kinda tired of horror. I want people to see what else I can do and I…it’s hit the point where it’s like all people see when they look at me as the guy who’s good at playing killers and monsters. That's had actual consequences for me in places I really, really didn’t expect. So much that I don’t want to go near the horror stuff any time soon.”

Joseph rests his hand near Barclay’s on the table, “I hadn’t realized it was that bad.”

“Yeah.” He thinks about the snotty comments from casting directors and the invasive questions in interviews and the disappointed boyfriends. He pushes his dessert away, half done, “I’m gonna grab the check.”

“Okay.” Joseph’s hand doesn’t move as he adds, “Barclay? If people can’t separate you from your characters, that’s on them, not you.”

In spite of Boyds’ best efforts, they get caught in a traffic snarl on the way back to Joseph’s place.  As the driver inches them forward, Barclay catches Joseph staring at a billboard for Ghost Adventures. 

“Sizing up the competition?”

A short, flat laugh, “I wish. I can barely get in front of a camera, let alone get a full time hosting spot.”

“Anyone who can’t tell that putting you onscreen would boost ratings needs their eyes checked. Uh, I mean” he blushes in the darkened backseat, “you have Haunted Woods, right?”

“That’s only voice work, which means I don’t get to do any actual investigation. I mean, I like a good bigfoot sighting story as much as the next guy, but I want to go to where it happened. I want to interview people myself, I want to do stake-outs of haunted places or sighting hotspots, I want to actually help people figure out what they saw. What good is paranormal investigation if it’s just grown men scaring themselves in night-vision and misusing the word debunked?” Joseph gestures emphatically out the window, “he has four shows and a museum! For no other reason than he was a little ahead of the curve and men like him fail upwards!”

Barclay blinks, amused, and Joseph sits back in his seat and straightens his tie, “I’m sorry. It just bugs me to see so many programs not actually devoted to solving the mystery. I didn’t mean to, um, to go all angry nerd on you.”

“I didn’t mind” Barclay nudges him with his elbow, “and if it’s any consolation, you look way better in black than he does.”

Joseph returns to his smooth, subdued demeanor for the rest of the ride. Intrigued by the other sides of the man he glimpsed, Barclay decides to go off-script on their third date.

“I thought we were going to that new beach spot?” Joseph peers out the window as they head toward the L.A County Museum of Art.

“Figured we could change things up a bit. Know Ned made a reservation at the other spot, but he’s not actually my dad who gets to tell me where to go. Or anyone else’s, I think.”

“Not a chance.” Boyd adds from the front seat.

They head into the museum holding hands, since several people spot Barclay and pull out their phones as they’re getting out of the car. Because they’d planned to go dining on the beach, Joseph is dressed more casually, in jeans and a button-up short sleeve. It’s only when they pass through a darkened gallery–showing off art made with deadly items, including radium paint– that he sees the dark blue fabric is dotted with glow-in-the-dark flying saucers. 

When they round the corner, Joseph actually gasps, putting his hands over his mouth, “I didn’t realize At Home With Monsters was back in town.”

“Yep, they brought it back for the lead-up to Halloween. Y’know, a friend of mine was in one of Del Toro’s movies-”

“Amazing, tell me everything while we look, come one” Joseph pulls him into the exhibit. They emerge two hours later, talking animatedly about Barclay’s experiences wearing monster make-up, and make for the cafe for lunch. They spend the rest of the afternoon wandering the other exhibits, and Barclay quickly texts in a reservation to Pho King, aka the best kept dining secret in the area, when Joseph agrees to dinner. 

When they leave the museum, Joseph holds his hand the whole way. Without checking for cameras first. 

—---------------------------------------------------

“You wanna give this a try?” Barclay passes Joseph his phone, where he’s been unsuccessfully been trying for an artful shot of his finished, Coffee S’more Cupcakes to post to Instagram. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t bother, but it’ll look good to a prospective publisher. Plus, whenever Dani posts photos of his stuff, it gets a ton of compliments. 

“Yes, but only because if I have to go any longer without trying those I might cry.” Joseph looks at the plate, then at the ceiling, then moves the plate across the counter to a pool of sunlight. He tries a few different angles, then hands the phone back to Barclay. 

“I warn you that I’m no food photographer.”

“This one’ll work, thanks.” He nudges the cupcakes towards him, “you first.”

Joseph takes a bite, then moans and politely covers his mouth, “Oh. Oh my lord. We have to get you that cookbook deal, the people deserve to know about this.”

Barclay grins and peels the wrapper from another cupcake. Joseph continues eating, more messily than he’s ever seen, and if this were a real date he’d lean over and kiss the stray frosting from his lips.

A knock at the door reminds him why they’re here, and when calls for Ned to come in, his agent looks perturbed. 

“Gentlemen, I know this was meant to be a simple check-in, but I’m afraid we have a problem: the press may be catching onto us. Because they have, I am afraid to say rightly, noticed you two are not demonstrative in public.”

“How do they know we’re not just very private people?” Joseph leans on the counter, arms crossed. 

“When have internet speculators ever preferred the simple explanation?”

Joseph sighs, “I hate to say it, but you’re right.”

“So, what, we’re just supposed to make-out in public until someone sees us?” Barclay loves kissing, but can’t think of anything he’d like less at the moment. 

“Yes. But never fret, my lovebirds; I’ll make sure your next date is somewhere that feels appropriately passion provoking.”

Barclay steals a glance at Joseph, who raises an eyebrow in reply, smile one of conspiratorial sympathy, “Gee, thanks.”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a terrible idea, but Joseph's options were either be nervous in his apartment or be nervous at Barclay’s house, so he’s choosing the one with a better view. 

His knock summons the actor still in his casual clothes, looking worried as he opens the door.

“You’re early. Like, early-early, even for you. What’s up?”

The fact his shirt is more low cut than normal has nothing to do with Joseph replying, “I think we need to practice. For this evening.”

“You…want to practice kissing me?” Barclay shuts the door, leaving them in the darkened entryway. 

“Yes. Not that I think you’ll be bad at it. Or that I’m bad at it. But, well, the first kiss with a new person is usually pretty obvious and awkward and I’d hate for us to be caught on camera not, um, not doing our best work.”

This was a terrible idea. 

“Sure. Guess it would look pretty awkward if the first time we did it was in public. You wanna sit down on the couch or…”

“Couch is fine.” Joseph hurries to the plaid sofa before he changes his mind. Barclay sits next to him, moving like he’s approaching a scared deer. 

“It okay if I put my hand on your hip? Don’t wanna fall over on you.”

“That’s fine.” He sets both his hands stiffly on Barclay’s shoulders, closes his eyes as a big hand cups his cheek. Then full lips peck him once, shyly, on the mouth. 

“Come on big guy” he murmurs, “you can do better than that.”

An indulgent laugh, then another kiss, a real one this time, sugar sweet and sunshine gentle. He smiles into it, stopping Barclay from breaking the kiss. The actor leans in, hand gliding from Joseph’s hip to his lower back, and when Joseph teases his lips with his tongue there’s a scuff of feet leaving the floor as Barclay tips them down onto the sofa. 

Joseph surrenders any pretense he doesn’t want this to be happening, runs his hands along Barclay’s back, it’s muscles tensing every time Joseph returns for another kiss instead of pulling away. 

When he hazards a lovebite to Barclay’s lower lip, the man above him groans and tangles their legs together, expression so blissful when he pulls back for air that Joseph is one second away from telling him to text Ned and cancel their reservations. 

Barclay stiffens, suddenly won’t meet his gaze as he fumbles one of the small throw pillows into his lap and sits back up.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just, uh, just needed a change of position. Old back injury from a stunt.”

It’s a lie. So Joseph does the most loving thing he can in that moment and believes it. 

“Thanks for telling me.” He smooths down the mussed patches of Barclay’s beard, “I’d say I’m ready to, um, perform in public. Unless you need more practice?”

Barclay shakes his head, “I’m good. Think I know just how to play it now.”

Joseph smiles, heart like a crushed tin can, and lets Barclay rest his head on his shoulder. 

—---------------------------------------------------

“You did WHAT???”  Indrid’s laugh is one part horror and two parts shock on the other end of the line.

“You heard me. I got hard from kissing, like a fucking teenager-”

“And then ‘freaked out’ like one, as the kids say.”

“Indrid, no one’s said that since we were kids.”

“My point stands, do not try to change the subject.” His friend reappears in the frame–he never holds still on video calls–draped in a sweatshirt that’s clearly the wrong size for him. 

“Duck’s visiting again?”

“Yes, since we’re shooting in Richmond I flew him here to spend the weekend with me. Mercifully those aren’t days when I have to get into swamp monster make-up. And” Indrid looks at him over his glasses, “changing it to my favorite subject is still changing the subject.”

“It didn’t mean anything. Joseph’s doing this for his career and mine, he doesn’t want to deal with my dick.”

“Ah yes, the ‘I will arrive early at your house so it is just the two of us and suggest we practice kissing’ gambit. A classic move by those decidedly not interested in seeing your dick.”

“His reasoning made sense! And he’s worked so hard that’s exactly the kind of thing he’s willing to do for his career. You don’t know him, okay?” Barclay sets his mug down with a defeated thunk.

“I know he’s masterfully dodged questions about your endowment from more than one interviewer in a way that suggests he’s spent at least some time thinking about your dick. More to the point, I know you; and you, my friend, have a crush on him that can be seen from space. So for goodness sake, tell him that before I fly myself back to L.A and do it for you.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell him. I just have to find the perfect time to do it.”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their plan really is working. Not only has Barclay gotten his book deal, with talks of a show on the horizon, but Joseph has been recognized more at this one party than in his entire career up until now. 

Maybe he can use that to convince Barclay they should keep dating for at least another six months.

The event was in San Diego, and rather than try to drive home in the dead of night they booked a hotel downtown. Barclay always springs for ones with beds that can actually fit two, six-foot tall men, and so they’re currently in a corner room with a stunning view and cartoonishly large bed. 

Joseph hangs up his jacket and tie, turns to find running his hands over the dress sweater still stretched over his chest. 

“Gonna have to take this one out of the rotation. Apparently it looks too much like the one I wore in Camp Blood; got a bunch of comments on it, even a joke about how it must be nice to never need a Halloween costume.”

“Christ.” Joseph crosses the green carpet, “some people really can’t use the power of thinking about things for two seconds. If you do take it out of the rotation, promise you won’t get rid of it?”

“You like it?” Barclay’s brow unfurrows in an instant as he turns to face Joseph. 

“It makes you look like a hot teacher on back to school night.” He runs his hands over the blue and grey wool, “the kind that makes all the moms linger for a chat and all the dads jealous enough to consider actually making their wives cum at some point in their lives.”

Barclay laughs, “Okay, babe, it stays.” He sighs happily as Joseph continues petting across his chest, “thanks for coming along tonight. It’s funny, after all these years I still get a little nervous at, at these…” his next breath is shuddery. Joseph has an answer to why when he glances down at the actors fly. 

“You don’t seem nervous now.” He teases.

“Fuck” Barclay hisses through his teeth, “fuck, Joseph, I’m so sorry. I’m just, I’ve always been so fucking sensitive, it’s just one more thing that disappoints my partners, it’s fine, I’m fine, it’ll go away eventually. I just didn’t want you to have to deal with how fucking hair-trigger it can be-”

“Barclay” he says it firmly, and brown eyes snap to meet his own, “it doesn’t bother me. And if you sit down, we can, uh, find a way to get rid of it quicker.”

Barclay doesn’t even make it to the bed, falling into the nearest armchair as Joseph lowers to his knees. In three, deliberate movements he has Barclay’s pants and underwear around his ankles and the nicest cock he’s ever seen inches from his face. He’s practically licking his lips and Barclay still looks like he’s about to say “sorry.” Again. 

“Barclay” Joseph runs his from the tip to the root, “if I ever catch you apologizing for this gorgeous thing again, I will slap you. Or possibly it.”

Strong fingers twist at the hem of the sweater as a breathy, hopeful voice replies, “Really?”

Joseph looks up, grinning, “Do you like when your partners are mean in the bedroom, big guy?”

“I, I think so. I want it so bad but no one was every fucking interested! They all wanted the guy they saw on-screen. That’s all I was; the monster they wanted to be roughed up by.”

Joseph eases Barclay’s hands from the fabric, brings them to his mouth to kiss his knuckles as he muses, “You know, you’d have made a pretty victim in those movies just as easily.”

The other man looks away, “M’too big.”

“I think the right man could make you seem like a helpless puppy. Don’t you?”

Barclay turns wide, pleading eyes on him, “I wish he would.”

Joseph stands, yanks off his belt, and snaps, “Hands above your head. Now.”

Barclay obeys instantly, chest heaving as Joseph traps his wrists above his head. Joseph rests his hands on either side of the top of the chair, looming into Barclay’s space, “Out of curiosity, big guy, did you ever think about what monster you’d be at the mercy of?”

His boyfriend mumbles something.

Joseph digs a hand into auburn hair, forcing the other man to keep his eyes on him, “Try that again.”

“S-secret agent. Like a rogue one, or an ex-sniper or something. Sorry, I, I know it’s goofy-”

“Barclay, if you apologize again I will play with these” he shoves the sweater up to reveal Barclay’s pecs, “so roughly you’ll cry. Understood?”

“Yes sir.” Barclay glances at him, not hiding his smile, “sorry, sir.”

Without another word, Joseph straddles him, shoves the sweater up into Barclay’s mouth and barks, “hold that” before diving down to bite the left side of his chest as hard as he dares. 

Barclay yells but keeps the gag in place. Without looking up Joseph pats his cheek and coos “good boy” before doing the same to the other side. Then he kisses and bites his way back and forth, pausing now and then to suck his nipples, which results in an adorably small noise from such a large man. Even better are the sounds when he grabs and squeezes, Barclay whimpering and moaning as Joseph fondles him like he owns him. 

He shifts up onto his knees, denying Barclay the chance to rub off on him, and pinches each nipple in turn. Barclay squeezes his eyes shut, muffled sounds of pain turning Joseph on too much to even worry if enjoying them makes him a bad person. 

When brown eyes open again, they’re teary. So Joseph carefully eases out of his lap, kissing his cheek as he goes. 

“There. Now that you know what I’m capable of, are you going to be a good boy and let me suck your cock?”

Frantic nodding accompanies his trip to his knees. He kisses the shaft up and down, mouth already watering, “This really is spectacular. Makes me feel almost a little bad at the thought of torturing it.”

Barclay moans, then gasps when Joseph bites his inner thigh. Another bite sets the bigger man squirming.

“What’s wrong, big guy? Afraid I might bite somewhere I shouldn’t?”

Barclay nods and moans. 

Joseph smiles wolfishly up at him, “I could. It’s not like there’s anything stopping me. And it’s not like you can get away.” He opens his mouth, allowing his upper row of teeth to just, and only just, touch the head for an instant, and Barclay’s how body goes taught. Then he opens wider, pushing his head down to suck Barclay off. A relieved moan is followed by another one of those endearing squeaks as Joseph cups his balls and squeezes them a tad too tightly. 

Then it’s his turn to gasp, cum hitting the roof of his mouth and dripping onto his tongue as Barclay twists and whimpers in his chair. 

Joseph swallows what he can, wipes the rest away with the back of his hand as he stands. 

“Right. My turn” 

He hauls Barclay from the chair, shoving and stumbling them both over to the bed and pushing the other man onto his back. He pulls the spit-soaked sweater free and grips Barclay’s chin hard enough to redden the skin. 

“You are going to get me off with your mouth, or there will be consequences.”

“Fuck yes, sir.” Barclay purrs as Joseph yanks and tosses his pants away. When he lowers onto Barclay’s face, it’s a toss-up as to who moans the loudest. 

“Jesuschrist, oh, oh I see why you like the rogue agent idea.” Joseph tangles his fingers into Barclay’s hair, grinding against his eager mouth, “you know you’d, you’d be a perfect hostage. Because all it’d take is someone slapping you once and calling you a pretty boy and you’d be on your knees letting anyone who wanted to shove their cock down your throat.”

“Mmhph!” Barclay nods, hands fighting against their bonds. 

“I know, you’re just an obedient, sweet boy who needs to be put in his place. Which, which happens to be, oh, oh fuck, Barclay, Barclay.” He cums hard and collapses forward, catching himself on his arms and rolling off to avoid breaking Barclay’s nose. It’s still zinging through him as he undoes the belt and guides Barclay onto his side to study his face. 

“Was that okay? Are you okay?”

“Uh huh” the deep voice is dreamy and far off, “so okay. You’re so good. So amazing.”

“I’m going to get us some water okay? I’ll be right back.”

He fills two clean glasses in the bathroom and hurries back. When he gets to the bed, Barclay is curled up, trying to drag the blanket beneath him up around him. 

“Oh, oh big guy hey, hey it’s okay. I’m right here. I’ve got you.” He brushes Barclay’s hair from his forehead, “I think you’re dropping. I, I’ve had this happen before, if you want I can-”

“It’s not that.” Barclay wipes his eyes, “I mean maybe a little but it’s…you’re gonna leave in two weeks. This, this is all just for the contract. You, you don’t-”

“Bullshit I don’t.” He hugs Barclay tight, “I want to be your boyfriend, your real boyfriend, so badly it’s like a constant ache in my chest. God, I’m so stupid, I should have started with that, I was just so caught up and a little afraid that this would be my only chance to be with you like this.”

“I was thinking the same thing. And I was gonna ask you this morning if you wanted to keep dating but I chickened out and planned to do it tomorrow instead.” A gentle chuckle, “guess we were both being foolish in the same way.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“I was nervous. And I kinda convinced myself that if you wanted me for real you would have said.”

Joseph runs a hand over his hair with an embarrassed laugh, “I did the same thing.”

“Man, we really are two, big fools huh?”

“Maybe” Joseph kisses him, “but we’re fools in love.”

Barclay’s grin is brighter than all of L.A combined, “Yeah. Yeah we are.”

[ljandersen]

Thank you for the tag @ficbrish! It’s been a while since I’ve seen a new game.  Thanks for thinking of me!

Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people. 

[I went with six and a longer excerpt] 

‐----------------------------------------------------

1. Sideways Part 1: Sideways

“Here.”  Shepard grabbed his hand.  He tried to pull away, but she slapped the pistol into his palm and curled his finger around it.  She shoved his hand back at him.  “There, Admiral Alenko .  Feel better now?”

Kaidan considered the pistol in his hand.  He looked up at her. “You know Cicero would like to see me KIA?”

Shepard frowned.  “What?  You think I’m his hired gun?  I’ll take you out while we’re down here alone?”

2. Sideways Part 2: Entwined

Kaidan laughed and cupped her face.  “You know there are cameras in here.”

Shepard realized her hand had brunched up his shirt almost to the shoulder.  Her palm pressed against the hot skin of his chest.

“I don’t care.”  She panted wolfishly and reeled him back to her mouth.

“Whoa.”  He laughed and playfully batted her grasping hands away.  “You want this all over the extranet?  Councilor-Spectre sex tape.”

“Sure.  Aquarium Sex Romp Part 1. ”

“Part 1?”  Kaidan sputtered, backing up, and laughingly batting her hand away again.

3. Sideways Part 3: Prism

“That’s how you got them?  Sleeping gas?”  Shepard threw Feron back a step.  “After I save you, I’m killing you.”

Feron tugged on his jacket and stood taller.  “Then I’m not going.”

“Oh, you’re going.  I’ll knock you out with something more concrete than nerve gas and drag you.”  Shepard waved at Wrex.  “Get over here.  We’ll lift them out biotically.”

Grunt roared and beat the wall approvingly.  Garrus seemed less certain.

“Who’s lifting me?”  Garrus got to his feet.  “Is Kaidan up there?  Do I get a choice?”

4. Sideways Part 4: Abyss

“You sure you should be operating heavy machinery?” Shepard forced mirth into her tone.

“No.”  Kaidan punched another series of buttons.  A hiss and lift in the gravity made her scramble to grab the back of his seat for an anchor.  Just as quickly, the gravity settled.

“Outer doors locked.”  York ran up the gangway to them.  “Why aren’t we moving?”

“Because I’m not a real pilot,” Kaidan snapped.

York shoved past Shepard and leaned down beside him.  “You sure you should be operating heavy machinery?”

“Does someone else want to do this?  Hmm?” He rubbed his temple.  “At least I can name some of these buttons.”

5. About Mars . . .

“Donkey laugh?”  Shepard shoved him away.  “You’ve got it somewhere.  That picture.  Holding out for something you really want before blackmailing me with it?”

Kaidan lifted his Omni-Tool.  The holoscreen image made her cringe.

“Damn.  It’s worse than I remember.  And, oh nice – ha! – I do have hair in my mouth.  Lovely.”

Kaidan laughed and snapped the screen down.

“You found that pretty fast,” Shepard said.  “Got it on shortcut?”

“It’s a favorite.  Won’t lie.”  Kaidan put his hands on his hips.  “It’s a good memory.  Ash was there.”

6. About Horizon . . .

“Yeah.”  Kaidan leaned an elbow on the bar and studied her profile.  “I’ve lost a lot of people close to me. Been years now for some of them.  Still hurts like hell. You know, let’s just talk about biotic ball or turian prions again.  Who doesn’t like a spirited prion debate, hmm?”

Her lips stretched into a weak smile.  “I didn’t mean to dampen things. Damn.  I’m a bad date, aren’t I?”

“You didn’t stand me up.  That strong out the gate, what’s to worry about?”

She grinned sideways at him.  “No one would stand you up.”

“Ha.  Well, thanks.  Go on a date once a year, it keeps the odds in my favor.”

“Once a year?”  Her eyebrows raised.  She rotated on her stool.

Heat flushed in his cheeks.  “Well, I’m deployed a lot.”

Tagging: @rpgwrites @ripley95 @alphahelices @unicorn-farm @jamesholden @ghostxofxartemis @halesshepardn7 @acciokaidanalenko @aricazorel

[archivist-the-knight]

[id: a 3 minute, 16 second clip from Slimecicle's behind the scenes video about staying in/buying the most haunted places on earth. it goes as follows: BEGIN TRANSCRIPT: [Note: Music is playing in the background that is of moderate tempo, doesn't distract much from what Charlie is saying however it is notable for a bit.]

Charlie: So the car we're in is a Kia Sole [as he says Kia Sole, there's a correction on screen with the words "*Kia Forte," indicating he meant the car model of the Kia Forte, which a png of also accompanies the text. as well as a jiggling sound affect.] I rented, that had a good four-second delay between the gas petal and [car engine revving noises] visceral acceleration!!

Charlie: It smelled so heavily of cigarettes, [on-screen is a Netflix content-warning style popup font that reads "Smoking is injurious to health / do not smoking" in caps, along with smoke being overplayed on Charlie's face] I'm pretty sure the AC was just second-hand smoke. And I am so glad we managed to get it! So here's the thing-

Charlie: So I booked, before i went there, a pretty solid rental car. We landed in this rural, West Virginia airport. Looked like a-a elementary school, or a library, that was converted into an airport. Because I think the only thing people in West Virginia have to learn [music stops completely] is how to escape their state.

Charlie: So we roll up to the rental booth, it's like 11:30, booth closes at one, [giggling slightly] no one is behind there, total ghost zone! And we're like, [The clip shown goes into black and white, a clock ticks as Charlie talks] "Okay, maybe they're on a lunch break." [kinda creepy music starts to set in] We wait fifteen minutes. We wait thirty minutes. Forty-five minutes. [Visual affects and clock stops, music is still present] Oh god! That's okay! Plan B! Pull up Uber! [Uber notification showing that there are no cars available] No rides found! You'd probably have better chance in West Virginia [music stops] running into the roods and mounting an elk.

Charlie [noticeable cut]: So we talk to the service assistance at the singular gate that exists in this airport and they say "Oh! Well that's because the rental people. [Black and white, zoom in] Like to hide. "[Silence, you can hear Charlie's air conditioning as he makes a confused face]

Charlie: They like to what? [Still imitating the worker] "Yeah, but if you go outside you can probably find them by the woods."

[Charlie looks at the camera with a very befuddled expression.]

Charlie: by the- w-

Charlie, continuing on: [Violin heavy, droning music begins to play.] At this point, I'm looking for an answer out of anyone. [Corresponding images to what he's bringing up starts showing on the screen] Unrelated employees, parents, children, wildlife, [images stop, cuts back to him] doesn't matter, we need a ride. And the thing is gonna close in like, twenty minutes. And while I'm running around, I'm also looking up different car rental places near us. And there is one. Exactly twenty minutes away. [the music has sped up at this point, becoming more panicked] I call them, I say, "Hello! This is Char-"

[imitating the person on the other side of the phone, music stops.] "-lie? You had a reservation."

[music starts back up as Charlie plays himself, panicked.] "Yeah, I (heh) actually just had the one car on reservation, if you could just hold that-"

[cut back to the person on the other side of the phone] "We gave that car away. [zoom in] we're actually out of cars."

[back to Charlie, desperate] "But you're a car re- [very small pause] i put a reservation. [echo] Why."

[back to the person on the other side on the phone, music has stopped. jokey] "Well, what can I say, country roads. [keys chattering sound as the worker makes a grabbing motion with their hand] Oh! Thanks for those keys, Paul! We actually just got one car back, Charlie, if you get here before one, we could probably make the arrangements for that."

[music starts up again, Charlie sounds desperate as it's zoomed in on his eyes] "It is 12:45, you are 20 minutes away by. Vehicle. [music stop] Stay on the line."

[Cheery, lighthearted music plays]

Charlie: I did not have a profile picture on Uber or Lift before this moment, [shows Charlie opening up his Uber or Lift profile, showing that his name is Charlie Slimecicle and his profile picture is a distorted photo of him smiling, made to look more goofy.] But you bet your ass I did now. I tried to put on the most wholesome smile, like I didn't want people to want me in the car, I wanted people to need me in the car!

Charlie: [black and white, eerie alleyway type music plays] And by the grace of god. A single uber picks up. Estimated time of arrival: 1:05. I texted him. I said, "speed." [a corresponding caption appears for speed.]

[Back to cheery music]

Charie: He pulls up, guy is super nice! 90 percent mullet, we get in his car, we race there! Turns out he actually married his wife in the Trans Allegany Lunatic Asylum- okay! I'd love to direct that, but I'm on the phone filibustering the single employee at the car dealership!

[back to black and white, eerie music plays]

Charlie: We get there, the time is 1:01. I reach for the door, I attempt to open it. Locked. I run around back- Two people, washing a car. A backdoor, yes, It has to be open. I rush through the garage, I open it. [Stock image of a guy] There he is, [shows the part of the stock image that shows the guy has a clipboard] putting the papers away, the last employee. He looks at me with a forced smile and suppressed southern rage, and I know in the moment of his anger... It means I've won. The vehicle. Is ours.

[Among us Jazz remix.]

Charlie: And that is the only reason we could get to the insane asylum.

[Cuts to one of Charlies friends putting directions in the google map tablet console as the main pull of the among us jazz theme plays. video ends.] /END TRANSCRIPT]

if you’ve never heard it before, PLEASE take a moment and treat yourself to charlie’s car rental story

[monriatitans]

Ta-Da! List: Friday, April 12th

I share my “Ta-Da! List” every day so everyone gets a daily update and I have a reminder of what I’ve accomplished.

To learn more about “Ta-Da! Lists”, check out @adhdjesse’s book Extra Focus.

Abbreviations

– O&T: Opinions & Truth Blog – KIA: Kickstarter Item Arrival – WGS: The Weekend Game Show – LPSD: Let’s Play Some Demos – ASO: Artist Shout-Out – BMAC: Buy Me a Coffee – TDL: Ta-Da! List

Ta-Da! List

✧ throughout the day: – kept emails manageable – loaded the dishwasher ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the bedroom setup: – O&T: the scheduled KIA, for “Weird Wastelands”, by Web DM, was posted, and it was manually shared on other social media; shared today’s TDL – Pixiv: continued the purge of who was being followed after seeing AI-prompters (to put it mildly) slipped through, made it to page 34 of 46 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the office setup: – O&T: recorded an LPSD video, uploaded it to YouTube, shared it to O&T, Tumblr, and other social media; updated the site’s YouTube widgets; shared an LPSD Video Announcement to The Titans’ Discord and other social media – YouTube: watched Upper Echelon’s video “‘Headline Culture’ is Getting Embarassing”; watched Prophet of Zod’s videos “Jesus Sacrificing Himself Makes No Sense (Inspiring Philosophy Response)” and “How Christians Use Nitpicking to Cope with Atheism” – WGS: prepared the ASO for tomorrow, Apr. 13th – Pixiv: continued the purge of who was being followed after seeing AI-prompters (to put it mildly) slipped through, started on page 46 and made it to 42 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ chores and miscellaneous: – Movies: “watched” “Sin City” repeatedly – Food: had coffee, water, and cereal for breakfast; accidentally missed lunch due to recording the LPSD video; cooked EatingWell’s recipe for “Mushroom & Tofu Stir-Fry” for dinner and had cereal – Chores: checked the mail

—

Well, these are all the updates I had for today! Thank you for reading!

May every decision you make be *in the spirit of fairness* and may the rest of your day *NOT go to $#!7*!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy what I do? Please consider supporting via Buy Me a Coffee (BMAC)! Like what you see and want to know when there’s more? Click here to subscribe for updates and/or hit the Follow button! Watch MonriaTitans on Twitch and YouTube! For more about MonriaTitans, click here! The image was made in Canva!

[fatopiaplus]

Akia Swan - Goddess of Earth

This is me. Yours truly, Akia Swan. Yeah ... so I ain't the skinny little thing in the leather bikini on the front cover. Deal with it. In fact, I'm pretty comfortable with the way I look and such. Below, you can see my goddess alter ego. :) Gotta draw Kieran now. OooO! Remember folks. My guest book is on this part. Mindi's is a separate book and I wouldn't want her to get entries for me and vice versa. Arigato gozaimasu!! If ya don't know Japanese, that means, "Thank you!"

"Well ... it's good enough for Dionysus, it's good enough for Akia, Goddess of Earth, Daughter of Pigacha, Creator of All That Is. Besides ... I think I look good with some extra fur."

"Next thing I know, Kieran's telling me he likes the way I look, and so I decide that plumping up isn't so bad. Besides, as a Goddess, I can thin down at any time I choose. Looks like I'm going to continue getting bigger. Keep watching."

"Sweet sticks of cherry candy betray me. I've lost all rhyme and reasoning, just having a good time watching myself grow bigger and bigger. My father chides me jokingly, but it's fun for me to experiment with all of my various forms. I think I'm going to keep up my endeavours until I grow weary of them." (Unfortunately, when Xoom decided to randomly delete my site, well, two of them, actually, this pic was lost from both of my computers. If someone has this image saved, please let me know. -Kia)

"It's obvious that I've yet to weary of this lifestyle. In fact, I've gone to my brother, Solomain, god of Pleasure, for some advice. He's shown me how to draw pleasure as he does from the worlds around us and my size shows how well we two work together. As Soli likes to say, bigger is definitely better. I may hang around big brother for some time to come. His habits are definitely growing on me.

[remotetrove]

Senior Machine Learning Engineer - AI Images at Canva

Join the team redefining how the world experiences design. Hey, g’day, mabuhay, kia ora,你好, hallo, vítejte! Thanks for stopping by. We know job hunting can be a little time consuming and you’re probably keen to find out what’s on offer, so we’ll get straight to the point. Where and how you can work Our flagship campus is in Sydney. We also have a campus in Melbourne and co-working spaces in…

[fragileswift1313]

Fortnite characters!

Kia ora, folks.

I posted a note on Substack the other day and I have no idea if anyone saw it because I don’t understand how Substack notes work. So I thought I better reiterate what I said in my note here in case you all (maybe? probably?) didn’t see it. As is often the case, I have had some mental health stuff going on this week, and it has kind of prevented me from finishing my thoughts on The Marvellout Mrs Maisel final season, and that’s basically all I have that’s close to ready right now, so I thought I would do something a bit different this week that doesn’t take a lot of concentration or other brain energies.

I played a bunch of Fortnite this week and last week, and this Sunday just gone (the day I am writing this), I wrapped up some of the season stuff there so I didn’t miss the couple battle pass things I wanted to get before they’re gone - it ends in a few days, and I’m excited to see that apparently Optimus Prime is coming next season, and whatever else Transformers-y they put in!

With all that in mind, I thought an easy thing I could do this week that some of y’all might be interested in is share some of my favourite characters I have collected over the years playing this game. Sound good? Sounds good. Here we go!

Spider-Gwen is one of my ultimate favourite characters in the game. Some friends and I played almost every day toward the end of this season to unlock all of the different customisations you could get for her. Admittedly, this version of her is just the standard colours because, even though I unlocked all the fancy holographic ones, I still think this one looks best.

This li’l guy, who I have decided in my headcanon is non-binary, was a surprise drop during the christmas event last year. I love them and they look very silly doing all the different dances and other emotes you can do in Fortnite.

Ariana Grande, Aloy and Padmé Amidala are three of my absolute favourites among the ones I had to individually spend money on to acquire. Padmé was available during some special Star Wars content that happened earlier in the season, while Aloy I picked up earlier this year I think. Ariana I fell in love with a couple years or so ago, and even though I really only like a handful of her real-life counterpart’s songs, as soon as I saw her I knew I had to have her - she has a normal mode, but this one is my favourite. Ariana also came with a glider that matches her dress which is also one of the coolest looking gliders in Fortnite, in my opinion.

And then lastly, we have Lynx. Lynx is a character I picked up in I want to say 2019, when I was having an even rougher time with my mental health than I am now, completely untreated, and playing Fortnite at that time was one of the few things I could do to turn my brain off and just have fun. As such, she’s one of my very top favourites not necessarily aesthetically, I mean she does look great, but she helped me through some stuff and that earns her a place both in my regular rotation, and in my heart.

For more of my faves, check out the Substack version (for free) here!

Apologies again folks for the smaller, image-heavy post! Come hell or high water, I will have that Mrs Maisel post for you next week!! You can count on it. In the mean time, if you haven’t already, and you want to read more stuff written by me, you can check out my Letterboxd. I recently reviewed The Super Mario Bros Movie (2023), Hellraiser (1987), Scream VI (2023), and The Final Destination (2009). And a reminder too, that you can read my first ever short story for FREE on itchio.

Thanks so much for reading everyone, I hope you have a great week, and I’ll talk to you again soon. Ka kite anō au i a koe. ���

- Rebecca

Links | Twitter | Mastodon | Cohost | Substack | itch.io | Letterboxd | Instagram | Carrd | Email

[ttwoguysandaride]

2024 GMC Sierra Denali - CarTech How To

Who has time to read the Owner's Manual??? 2024 GMC Sierra Denali - CarTech How To STEP BY STEP Is there too much to remember when test-driving or even when taking delivery of your new car? Well, we're here to help. This is our in-depth "How To" video of the 2024 GMC Sierra Denali Drivers Information and infotainment screens. Nathan covers all the buttons, knobs, cameras, bells, and beeps to get you up to speed and using your new Infotainment System in no time flat. 2024 GMC Sierra Denali - CarTech How To STEP BY STEP ✅ Subscribe to Our Channel for More Cars, Tips & Resources: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoGuysandaRide/ ✅ Stay Connected 👉 Twitter: https://twitter.com/GuysRide 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twoguysandaride/ 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twoguysandaride ============================= ✅ SEE all of our HOW TO videos here: CarTechHowTo.com - http://bit.ly/2ZvDrbE ✅ Our Playlists: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoGuysandaRide/playlists ✅ Other Videos You Might Be Interested In Watching: 🚘 2024 Chevy Trax - CarTech How To - https://youtu.be/rtwgrUBI1rM 🚘 POLESTAR 2 - You WILL Buy This Car! - https://youtu.be/SpONzft5iLM 🚘 DODGE Sierra Wagon with Rear-Facing Third-Row “Spectator” Seats - https://youtu.be/-4Zd83xdx2I 🚘 2022 Bennington Tritoon 23RCW - https://youtu.be/S08erqgB9dk ================================= Special Thanks to: Snell Motors in Mankato, MN - http://snellmotors.com ================================= ✅ About Two Guys and a Ride: Two Guys and a Ride’s channel is dedicated to all things automotive. We love driving and reviewing vehicles and sharing what each one has to offer. We give you the facts where others just state their opinions. We also tell the stories of some very cool and interesting classic cars and along the way, we’ll even show you the latest and greatest Boats, Watercraft, Snow Sleds, Side by Sides and Motorcycles. Let’s go for a ride! ================================= #twoguysandaride #carsoftheday #CarReview #CarReviews #ClassicCar #ClassicCars #ClassicBoat #HowTo #TechHowTo #CarTech #Racing #PontoonBoat #Ford #Chevy #Honda #Toyota #Porsche #Honda #Toyota #Chevrolet #Buick #KIA #Hyundai #GMC #Volvo #Mercedes #Polestar #Ferrari #CarReview #CarReviewChannel #NewCars #Pontoon #FishingBoat #4Wheeler #OffRoad #Dirt #Snow #Sand #Water #Technology #Tech #Bentley #Jaguar #LandRover #Audi #BMW **All Specs are preliminary data from MFG available at time of filming this video. Subject to change** Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use. This Channel contains OUR Copyrighted Material and is not Available for any use outside of our Channel. All Rights Reserved © Two Guys and a Ride https://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5915baOCOw

[the-helixverse]

Reading through the Helixverse stories, great stuff btw, got me thinking, you mentioned the Golden Age of Superheroes but would the rise of Posthumans actually kill off Superhero comics due to the fact that people like Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman just became non-fiction?

//Thank you, glad you enjoyed!

//As for the comics, even in our world, superhero comics kinda fell by the wayside after World War II. They still existed, obviously, but they were folded into new genres or moved over to different series. The Golden Age of Comic Books lasted from 1938 to 1956, and those latter years were dominated by controversy.

//Moral guardianship, particularly from Fredric Wertham's book Seduction of the Innocent- famous for suggesting that Batman and Robin were in a gay relationship- that he released in 1954, ultimately contributed to the creation of the Comics Code Authority and the end of a lot of titles.

//In our world, that lead to the beginning of the Silver Age in 1956, with Showcase #4, which introduced Barry Allen as the Flash. That era was where most of the goofier comic book elements came in, like de-aging guns, Batman and his Zebra costume and that time Superman got the power to shoot rainbows from his fingers that shot out a miniature version of himself.

//Yes, this actually happened. Superman #125, November 1958 : P

//In the Helixverse, posthumans and other mutants started to emerge in large numbers after the Korean War, which ended here in 1951. Operation Rainbow Dawn was the deployment of posthuman conscripts into the conflict, and thus they showed people from all over the world what they can do.

//That lead to this whole new craze around them, and a few did actually pick up monikers and styles from the Golden Age-era heroes. From there, Showcase #4 didn't feature Barry Allen, especially as these figures became real, more or less.

//The first and most famous of them was the New York-based vigilante Kelvin, who would become influential in both his style, the legal precedents he set and how he ultimately saved New York from a nuclear meltdown at the cost of his own life. So, he remains well-respected.

//And of course, you had people who became vigilantes and who had these sort of promotional comics that helped build up their image. That, unfortunately, came to an end when many of them were KIA, especially when fighting neocytes.

//The big difference between posthumans and these comic book heroes is that characters like Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, they were all much tougher and had powers that nobody in the real world could replicate.

//You don't have posthumans who can fly without wings, they don't have invisible lassos, they can't run faster than the speed of sound, etc. They still have incredible power, don't get me wrong, it's just that they didn't have the sort of power you expect from comic book heroes. There's no Dr. Manhattan here, for instance : P

//It's not that posthumans themselves killed off the superhero comic genre. It's that the genre sorta faded into obscurity in comparison, and remains as this very niche area.

//"Superheroes" in the real world didn't be come shitty celebrities, they faded more into militaries, private groups for hire, or became bounty hunters. Most of those who stuck to the conventional image of them sadly wound up dying, because they tended not to understand what they were really dealing with.

//The Helixes emerged as this sort of perfect storm of people who had the knowledge and skills necessary to make it all work.