#// I never want anyone to feel like I'm trying to horde anything

[neredoesnotfail]

I know I have a lot of blogs and, trust me, I don't expect anyone to follow all of them, however, below is the list of the current BG3 and related blogs in case any of them do appeal to anyone:

ACTUAL BG3 BLOGS

@neredoesnotfail // MAIN // Nere

@raphaelapproves // MAIN // Raphael and some HoH NPCs

@dirgeforthedead // MAIN // Perhaps slightly canon-divergent Dark Urge ; there is also @yetanotherdirge // SIDE // for when I'm wanting to write her but am focusing a different main [ NOTE: Threads will exist separately within each blog—so a thread started on one will remain there—though relationships can carry over to be considered 'established' on either. ]

@hopefromthedark // SIDE // multimuse for canon, original, and adapted drow

@thefaithbroken // SIDE // Zevlor

@banefultyrant // SIDE // Lord Enver Gortash

@immenselytalented // SIDE // Rolan; may or may not just shift to my multi, we'll see. I do really love the url

@darkeningdawn // SIDE // OC daughter of Lathander

@stalwartprotector // MAIN // Halsin, but he's been very quiet so he's basically on hiatus

@spareastory // MAIN // a catch all multi for BG3, anybody who doesn't have their own blog; Canon, original, and adapted muses present [ Among these can be found Guex, Asharak, Rugan, Klaus, Tiernan Wont, and Alan the Bartender, as well as muses adapted from WoW, mobile games such as Raid and EverLegion and Path to Nowhere, as well as muses from film, television, other video games and literature ]; may move to a sideblog of the same name

WORKS IN PROGRESS:

These immediately below are heavily under construction still as I picked them up right before I had a lot of life stuff happen and I didn't have the time, energy, or focus:

@undeniablegrace // SIDE, for now, I'll decide for sure once I finish reading // Drizzt Do'Urden [also entertaining the idea of Zaknafein]

@lathandertolight // SIDE // Lathander

@selunetoguide // SIDE // Selûne

@kelemvortojudge // SIDE // Kelemvor

@andpassageprovide // SIDE // Thanatos & Charon, adapted from Greek mythology

@theperilsofadventure // SIDE // This is going to be a multi/experiment in very loose DM'ing to an extent for little mini adventures within BG3 canon/verse, if anyone is interested. I just got a bestiary book and there are several beings and such that interested me, like the Old Man with the Canaries, Stone Giants, Storm Giants, etc. And, of course, owlbears and such. I have never DM'd and I do not know any official rules. This would basically just function like an RP account, but a condensed version of what I do with my many accounts.

MISCELLANEOUS

These blogs are varying degrees of set up and established. None of these are BG or D&D canon muses, but they are easily adapted into it and, in fact, already have established BG3 verses with the potential for others.

@beautymarred // SIDE // Thranduil [ and other denizens of the Woodland Realm; has a BG3 verse ]

@whoshallbeking // SIDE // Thorin Oakenshield

@lionofthealliance // MAIN // King Varian Wrynn from WoW; has a BG3 verse

@neveraguardian // MAIN // Khadgar from WoW; has a BG3 verse

@lightblinded // SIDE // Turalyon from WoW; has a BG3 verse

@youwerenotprepared // SIDE // Illidan Stormrage from WoW; has a BG3 verse

@weariedshield // MAIN // Damon Schilder from Path to Nowhere (mobile game); has at least two BG3 verses already

@secondofthelegion // SIDE // Earl from Path to Nowhere (mobile game); has at least two BG3 verses already

@glamglitterandgoblins // SIDE // Jareth, the Goblin King; I'd say he has a BG3 verse, but it's pretty much just his regular verse but with access to BG3. Jareth is Jareth. I draw heavily from the movie, but also the comics that released regarding a prequel to Labyrinth. Great comics, if you haven't read them

OOC BLOGS

@thishouseofhope // Was a sideblog for Raphael before I gave him the main blog he demanded; possibly turning this into a headcanons, rambles, dissertations, discourse blog concerning Raphael and the House of Hope, etc. Maybe little snippets of stories as well?

@sensibleeven // Same as for Raphael, but with Nere

@birdseyeart // I have the intention of making this an art blog for when I decide I am okay enough with something to post it. I have a few pieces already that will be (re)posted from my old blog shortly. Beyond that, we shall see.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE BELOW THE CUT:

I covered this on my Raphael main before, but it's been a minute so I will do so again.

I do not want to terrify any of you or myself with the sheer number of blogs I have, but the ones tied in with Baldur's Gate or easily adapted to it will be listed all together in this post [ and I will probably add/link it to it in a pinned post on my blogs as well so it's easy to know what blogs are mine ].

First, to explain, I get hyperfocused on things and end up with a ton of muses [ Tolkien, Marvel, DC, mythology, gaming, etc ], and each one [ usually, though some are constants ] focus tends to go dormant for a bit at some point while I hyperfocus on another thing—and sometimes manage to mesh and adapt several things into whatever the current thing is, as witnessed by spareastory because I still love all the things, my focus has just pivoted. I periodically cycle back around again, usually when some thing has perked back up the braincells in regards to that thing. Sometimes multiple co-exist at the same time. Sometimes they just keep to a cycle. Sometimes it's a little of all of it.

My brain is just like this. It's always been like this. I have a wheel of special interests and it spins to whatever has the most to keep the braincells interested. The last long-stint hyperfixation was Overwatch and that was eight (8) or so months. Before that was Final Fantasy VII. Baldur's Gate is going on a full year with only a brief break because of life. I don't see it going away anytime soon because it has everything I love to write and I can adapt so many of my other favorite things into it.

To that point--also from another post I made elsewhere--is this:

It's funny that BG3 and consequently looking into DnD finally gave me an answer to who I am as an rper: why I can't just have one or two characters, why I have to super research everything I write.

I am basically DM-coded. 😂

I have literally hundreds, if not thousands, of muses chilling in my head, usually on a rotation based on where my hyperfixation is at the time—high fantasy, sci-fi, historical fiction, etc—and sometimes I have been the entire fandom writing with someone else who wrote one or two of the characters. I didn't even realize I was basically DMing by filling out the rest that we were missing. [ i.e. Sy-Fy's Sanctuary and the Tolkien rp fandom were at points almost entirely carried between me and @hopeteased 😂 with a few other people here and there from time to time who wrote a muse or two. ]

So when you see that I have 1000 characters, please know that I am here to DM a larger world within our threads if we have something a bit more isolated… BUT I am equally happy to be part of a larger world/verse with multiple participants and to world-build collectively.

It's never a matter of wanting to play everything to the exclusion of others or anything like that.

I love writing with people and there are so many talented people here to write with, some with overlapping characters to mine, and some with totally different.

You're all amazing and if we write the same muses, I will still be thrilled to write with you for any of my other babies you want to write with. I generally have an overarching, default/baseline verse to world build/DM when writing my characters' understanding/perception of their world, yes, as though you were interacting within a fanfiction almost, where there are a ton of pre-existing relationships and background.

But I also love to build other verses with everyone I write with, whether individuals or groups. ❤️

I know I can be 😂 A Lot in terms of having so many muses, but please trust me when I say that there is nothing I like better than to build relationships of all sorts, storylines, and worlds with others, and am more than happy to trade out any of my muses to build something with someone who has the same muses I have.

SUMMARY:

My myriad of muses is never meant to be to the exclusion of others. It's just how my brain works to build and branch out because the wheels won't stop spinning. However, I am equally happy to play a part in something built with others, regardless of if I write the same muse as them.

This may be the best way to explain it --

Consider my muse list like a catalogue. You don't have to and aren't expected to order everything off of the catalogue or even to want to try everything on it. But it's all there to pick and choose from as you like, when you like, if you like.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Seeing Stars 2

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes

Summary: You struggle to be star struck by the world's most famous super soldiers. (grumpy!short!reader)

Note: Guess this is happening.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Your image in print makes you cringe again. If you keep doing that, you're going to form a few new wrinkles. It's hard to describe the expression on your face; somewhere between a gape and a grimace. Bonita doesn't seem to notice as she waves the signed photo in glee. 

"Oh my god! Mo is going to hella jealous," she chimes. 

You grumble. Another pair of thunder gods barge by and you stop short to keep from getting bonked by a foam hammer.  

"They couldn't crop me out?" You wonder. 

"Heyyyyy, no way. Then it'd only be me and cap," she whines. "You look fine." 

She isn't looking at you. She's too obsessed with herself, perched perfectly in Steve Rogers' arms. You glower at your likeness and roll your eyes.  

You shrug as if trying to wriggle free of the touch no longer there. It's there in the picture, that unwelcome embrace. It just happened so fast. You don't touch. You don't hug. Bonita gets on for her birthday and one for Christmas and outside of that, you have your bubble. 

"My feet are killing me," you drone. 

"You're not tapping our already, are you?" She chirps. 

"No, but I could use a coffee. Maybe sit for a few." 

"I don't want to miss the costume competition," she hums. "How about you come find me?" 

"That works." 

You'll agree to anything if it gets you a break from all this. You feel your battery flickering. You're at 12% socially and recharging will take days, if not weeks. 

"I'll text if I get lost," you assure her. 

You part and go in search of one of the vending machines you passed a few minutes ago. You're not outwardly sardonic, or you try not to be. When people describe you as deadpan, you're often surprised they pick up on that. You say as little as you can but some people take silence negatively.  

You tap your card for the overpriced instant cappucino. The machine churns noisily and a cup drops down onto the tray. The brown espresso mix spits from the nozzle. Its aromatic even if you expect a watered down flavour. 

You take the cup and blow over it. You keep away from the hordes of fandom devout. You wind along the wall and find a quiet hallway. You lean by the emergency exit and sip your coffee. 

You close your eyes and sigh, tilting your head back as you let the coolness of the wall soothe you. You inhale as the thrum of the crowd drifts in. You don't want to go back. 

There's some scuffing at the end of the hall. Your head snaps up and you stand straight, expecting a staff member to chase you out. Worse. It's one of them. 

"Oh hey," the blond slows as he comes down the hall, stopping midway. "Um... didn't expect anyone back here." 

You stare at Steve Rogers and take another drink, "just on my way out." You glance at the door to your left; 'Employees Only'. The placard beneath denotes a restroom. Makes sense, he can't piss with the peons. 

"You got a photo," he says as you edge down the hall, keeping near the wall as you try not to get close. 

"My friend did, yeah." 

"Wait? You didn't get a copy? I can pull a few strings." 

"No thanks," you stop a foot away from him, realising he's too big to squeeze by.  

"You alright?" He asks, sounding genuinely concerned. Your forehead furrows but you stop the frown from reaching your lips, "I'm fine." 

"These things give me a headache too," he says. 

How presumptuous. Even if your head is feeling a bit dull. 

"VIP is pretty nice. There's a lounge. I could get you and your friend some passes. Hear they got real coffee too," he gestures to your cup. "I don't know for sure, I don't get to enjoy it much." 

"That's... too nice," you insist. "Excuse me, I gotta find my friend." 

You motion past him but he only moves an inch, "need help?" 

You look at him and shake your head, "I'll find her." You waggle your phone at him and turn, sidling by slowly. At last your free but at the cost of a few drops of coffee as it sloshes in your cup. It's bland. You toss it at the first bin. What a waste. 

You find Bonita near the contest banner. She looks unimpressed as she pouts and crosses her arms. You near as a yawn threatens to break free. 

"What's up?" You ask. 

"Didn't qualify for the contest," she mopes. "So, guess I'll watch." 

"Hm, there's a prize?" 

"Just a gift card but still," she says. 

"Ah, too bad." 

"Well..." she looks around, "how about the raffle? The grand prize is a your of the Avengers compound or something." 

You try not to show your disinterest. She better not invite you to that too. Ha, it's a long shot anyway. You'll humour her for a bit longer. 

"Sure, why not." 

You follow her over to the table. The staff at the table fill out the ballots for you using your ticket numbers. You give your information mindlessly, figuring there's enough people there that you'll forget you even bothered. 

"That's so awesome," Bonita trills. "Can you imagine?" 

You would hate it. You know. You like a museum tour or even a solitary stroll through the library but some good will act for good PR? You'll pass. 

"I hope you win," you say to Bonita. 

"Me too. I have so many questions!" She begins to ramble as you only half-listen. 

As you walk along the booths, your eyes wander through the milling bodies. You squint as a head of golden hair bobs at the far end of the room and pauses. Even on your toes, you can't see enough to confirm your suspicions. What does it matter anyway? Good luck to the Cap finding his way back through these fanatics. You don't envy his lot, you hardly covet your own. 

[bingbongsupremacy]

Lonely Pt. 2

Pairing: Stranger Things x reader Zombie Apocalypse AU

Warnings:

Series Summary: A few days after the zombie apocolypse took over Hawkins you lost everyone. Once you finally run out of supplies, you're forced to venture out into the town, hoping not to run into anyone and make it to safety alive. Unfortunately, life doesn't always go how you want it.

Part Summary: You've arrived in some sort of community. Will the leader let you stay?

*Not Proof Read*

This Fic does not mention body type, weight, race, gender, etc. If I happened to mess up and add a pronoun or anything that could define the readers appearance, please let me know so I can fix it. Ty!

ABC List Stranger Things Master List

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

*****

" Where are we? "

The sun is almost completely gone. What's left of the light faintly lights up the inside of the van from the front windows.

" We're-" Eddie begins before Steve interrupts him.

" We can't tell you that. Not yet. "

I get the feeling he doesn't like me very much.

Eddie looks over at the man, letting out a small sigh in the process. " And I thought I was the dramatic one. What the fuck dude, just tell them. "

Steve lets out an annoyed huff. " Think, dude. What if they've got a group? What if they bring back an army that wipes everyone out at our base? "

" I don't have a group. " I try to reassure the man.

Steve doesn't budge. " I'm sorry, I just don't trust you yet. "

" Don't worry, mister Sunshine isn't always this friendly. " Eddie tries to break the tension with humor. " You should see him on poker night. "

" We're here. Eddie, bring 'em in. " Steve orders while the van pulls to a halt.

A faint buzz of noise fills my ears from outside of the van. Where are we?

Steve gets out of the van, leaving me and Eddie inside. Eddie helps me stand up and we patiently wait by the van doors.

The van doors swing open revealing Steve and an older man.

I think I recognize him...

" Sherriff? "

The man's brows furrow. " Are you from Hawkins? "

I nod. " Y-yeah. "

Sherriff Hopper nods at Eddie who leads me out of the van. " Bring 'em inside. "

We follow the sheriff down the road and I'm finally able to take in my surroundings.

Old businesses and buildings make up a long row eventually stopping at a large wall. People watch us as we pass, muttering amongst themselves curiously. Dogs roam the streets, some with collars and some without. Children run through the streets, loud laughter following behind them.

It's a community. God I missed this. I didn't think I'd ever see this again.

I'm led to a tall building, something I assume is the makeshift town hall. Multiple horses tied to the buildings railings stand around outside.

As we step inside I'm hit with a gust of cold wing. AC.

" Fuck, I missed air conditioning. " I let out a sigh of contentment. I close my eyes in and try to soak in the feeling.

Eddie chuckles. " AC is just the tip of the ice berg. "

What do they have here?

The sheriff leads us to an office. He sits behind a desk, folding his hands while he waits for us to close the door. " Who are you? "

Ouch. I thought he'd remember me. So much for small-town life.

" Y/N L/N. " I reply. I shift my hands slightly, uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze.

" Do you have a group? "

I shake my head. I hope they let me stay here. I fucking hate it out there alone. " No. I've been on my own for years. "

" How are you alive? " Eddie asks curiously. " We thought Hawkins was completely wiped out by the virus. How did you make it? "

" I hid in a house until I ran out of supplies. I went out to look for stuff, maybe make my way out of the state to see if I could find anyone else. I didn't know there were so many hordes on Main Street or I would've never done down there. "

" How many people have you killed? " Steve's voice is cold, distrusting. His gaze is sharp. It sends shivers down my spine.

" W-what? I've never killed anyone. I swear, I don't even know how to use a fucking gun! " I turn back to the sheriff. " Besides, I've been alone. Who the fuck would I kill? "

" Did you search 'em for weapons? " Sherriff Hopper asks Eddie and Steve.

" Just found this. " Steve sets my knife on Sherriff Hoppers' desk. " Otherwise, they're clean. "

" What is this place? " I ask.

" This is our community. It's called The Quarry. " Eddie informs as he takes a seat in one of the chairs across from the Sherriff.

" How do you guys have electricity? I thought everything went down when the virus hit. " I ask, very confused to how everything is working.

" We were able to turn on a power plant nearby thanks to some of the engineers who survived. " Hopper pulls out a knife. He cuts the zip tie around my wrist. " You can stay here on the condition that you pull your weight. We have multiple jobs that need positions filled if you're interested. If not, I'll have my boys here take you out a few miles from here and let you go. Your choice. "

" I want to stay here. " I say immediately. " I'll work. I don't care what I do. I just...I can't be out there alone anymore. " I tenderly touch the red lines that popped up from the zip ties on my wrist.

" Hop, I don't know- " Steve begins.

Sherriff Hopper shakes his head. " Steve, have they done anything to make you suspicious of them? "

Steve doesn't respond.

" We give chances here. You know this. " The sheriff turns to me. " You'll need to be checked for bites before we give you a room. Eddie here will give you a tour tomorrow and we can find you a position to work. "

I smile at the older man. " Thank you so much. "

He nods, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. " Eddie, Take her to Joyce for a check-up and then show her to the boarding house. "

Eddie nods. " You got it, Hop. " He opens the office door and we leave the sheriff and Steve behind. " Let's go find Joyce. "

I wonder why Steve hates me?

++++++++

I'm having a hard time figuring out what ship I want in this. What are you guys thinking? Originally this was going to be an Eddie Munson fic but I think I could turn it into an enemies-to-lovers thing with Steve. Or should I attempt a love triangle situation? What do you guys want?

[antispopausandstuff]

Another Aspect Of 'Corridors', 'Save The Cat', and 'Taking Control'

.

disclaimer - these are my thoughts and my personal analysis. though SPOP is objectively poorly written, it is partially because of that fact that a lot can be left up for interpretation and be discussed with different outlooks or theories on the same situation // scene. if you have a different opinion on the aspect i'm going to delve into, i'd like to see what you think.

standard warnings of abuse and viewer discretion is applied.

.

for a long time, i left it up to poor writing that Catra was angry with Adora for rescuing her, despite clearly desiring that and being as thankful as she could be ( considering her situation and that it is, of course, Catra we're talking about ) in the previous episode, with no real intention of looking further into it.

and, while it is still entirely because of poor writing and not because the writers were actively doing anything to imply or symbolize something in the relationship, i recently came to a conclusion that can make at least some sort of sense to her motives and actions in 'Corridors', 'Save the Cat', and 'Taking Control'.

Catra was angry because her sacrifice didn't mean anything.

it's the only thing that makes sense to me, even though it still leaves a few holes ( such as Catra agreeing to be taken home in the first place ), and i haven't seen anyone else make a theory of their own as to why she reacted this way outside of it just being how she is.

and, yes, it is in character for her to accept something, then deny it the moment after, but this scene in particular stood out to me because of how unapologetically ungrateful and callous Catra is after her self-pitying and borderline remorseful behavior.

in 'Corridors', it's evident that Catra is only showing regret ( if that is what she truly feels ) because her life fell into shambles after sending off Entrapta to Beast Island, threatening and abusing Scorpia until she left, Adora putting her foot down, Hordak wanting to be rid of her after finding out she lied, and DT giving the worst callout of the century and betraying her.

she stays in her pitying while still continuing to try to ruin Adora's life by helping Horde Prime find her, but the show expects us to take it at face value when HP says she's trying to 'protect' Adora from him. of course, the stans took it and ran, but when you look at the bigger picture, none of it adds up and is quickly proven false.

Catra only felt terrible because she didn't get everything she wanted and was left alone.

i understand that rock bottom can make someone realize a lot of things, but it's hard to think that's what's happening when Catra continues doing bad things for the sake of 'belonging', making more conflict with Glimmer, and keeps speaking ill of Adora over and over.

it's hard to think that's what's happening when Catra says "there's no one in the entire universe who cares about me". because it's not from a place of understanding, but a place of wallowing. even when she's supposedly doing the right thing ( saving Glimmer // Adora ), she's only focused on herself and what this means for her.

whether or not she genuinely believed Adora wouldn't go to Horde Prime's ship to rescue her, Catra uses the same language that she'd use against Adora when speaking of her leaving the Horde:

"why did you come back? we both know i don't matter."

Adora's never been on Horde Prime's ship before this. there was nothing for her to 'come back' to.

does Catra think Adora being in the presence of anything Horde related means she's 'coming back', despite never having left her behind in the first place?

and in 'Taking Control':

"i told you not to come back! but you just love to feel like a hero, don't you?"

to me, it reads as if Catra saved Glimmer because she thought Adora wouldn't 'come back' for her, essentially giving her a pass to the sacrifice. but, when that didn't happen, she resorted to her usual behaviors of open self-pity, if not guilt-tripping, aggression and hostility, projecting like crazy, and leaving Adora to clean up the mess entirely on her own.

again, it still leaves a couple of holes ( with Catra's initial acceptance of Adora bringing her home ), but it's the only idea that makes the most sense of this inconsistency.

the anti community collectively agrees ( if i recall correctly ) that Catra's act of saving Glimmer // Adora wasn't selfless.

but i personally see it as her way of giving herself an out with a pat on the back. and Adora 'took' that away from her.

what do you think?

[cammslush]

6REEZE; each member has their own special and adorable darling (but you don't know they think that way about you) - Part 2

-----

Content warning(s): Yandere themes (overprotectiveness, possessiveness)

Let me know if I missed anything.

-----

Part II: Center - Aether

"We're having a concert today, I'm sure you know. It's going to be live on our YouTube, please watch it there instead."

Aether tried his best to hide his signature golden strands of hair from the light, underneath his dark hood. He speaks quietly into the receiver of the payphone conveniently just a few blocks from the concert venue. But with him being pretty much the face of 6REEZE…

"Hey, I recognize that golden hair anywhere! Is that…?"

"Sorry, talk to you after the show. Bye."

It was almost an impossible task trying to keep a low profile.

You were a strange-fated soul who met Aether during a photoshoot for a magazine. Well, he was hard to ignore. The brightest member of 6REEZE, that was him!

"I'm ____, pleasure to be your acquaintance," you held out your pretty hand to him. Why did you introduce your name? He already knew who you were: an actor. But some part in his heart sort of…thumped, at the thought of you saying your name.

It's a very common thing for celebrities to meet in joint projects. It's also a common thing for said celebrities to become close friends…or even fall in love.

"No…I shouldn't fall in love. I can't fall in love…" Aether almost wanted to rip his heart out the same day he met you. Idols always sing love songs, but they are not allowed to love. So then…

Why? Why does his heart beat so quickly whenever he thinks of you? Why is it that his chest hurts everytime he sees your face in an advertisement, or your acting in some unpopular movie? Why, why, why…

But he can't just leave you in his "list of merely recognizable people", not after you offered so much company and kindness.

“I met Aether from 6REEZE during a photoshoot once,” you carelessly said in an interview, “And then we actually became friends! He’s actually a pretty nice person! And his hair looks way brighter in person. Go watch their live concerts to see it for yourself!”

Do actors live in a different world from idols? You’re so good at acting in shows, from what he can tell. Why can’t you act like you have never met him before?

Don’t you get it? Your adorable face will get mauled by a horde of crazy idol fans if you admit that! He can’t let that happen!

Venti is so careless, he lets the existence of his "bestest friend" be known to the public with such little care of their wellbeing — Aether is different! He isn't careless one bit.

Despite being your friend, you really have no actual way of contacting him besides a phone number that he asked you to memorize, and he also asked you not to ever input this number on your personal phone. You thought it was a little strange, but heeded his requests nonetheless. Perhaps it was a strange tradition.

But Aether isn't mean to you or anything, yes? He is one of the nicest, brightest people you've ever met in your life! He'd never want you to get hurt, that's the whole point of his actions.

He himself has perfectly memorized all of your information, like your phone number, or your address. It's only, purely because he believes he isn't allowed to save any of that info on his phone, not because he feels the need to know every single little detail about you.

It would be bad if any fan found out about his close association with another celebrity, right? The only, only option left is to store everything about you safely inside his mind.

Under absolutely no circumstances should anyone know you exist in his life.

That is knowledge available only to him.

"Aether, I was recruited to act in an advertisement, and they're still looking for more actors. Marketing opportunity for 6REEZE! Just say the word and I can recommend anyone who's interested to the Director," you spoke to him over the payphone.

Aether wanted to smack himself for how much he misses hearing your voice. It was hard to tell his inner conflicts, thanks to his bright and sunny outer image.

Looks like there's no other choice, "I just asked, buuut no one else is interested, so I'll take any role."

He cannot even allow his fellow 6REEZE members know.

"Oh, okay. Also, I'm watching the concert at home. Everything you guys did was so cool! Especially at the song 'Let the Wind Lead'...My Archon, all I can say is you guys shone very brightly."

Aether wants to keep hearing you talk. But at the same time…

"Yeah…The intermission is about to end. Let's stop here," without even telling you, he hung up the phone and promptly deleted the conversation from his contact history.

With a sigh, he left the break room.

No, no…he can't let what happened to Lumine be repeated with you. Nobody deserves that.

It's not because solely his attention should be on you — "get your head back on track, Aether!" It's because you'll be in grave danger if anyone else found out. He's told himself time and time again, someone as precious as you should never be laid a finger on.

If anything did happen to you, he might as well as die right then and there with you.

"...Aether? Hello?" You spoke on the other end, confused.

You're such a great actor, aren't you? He knows, he's watched almost every piece of film or advertisement you've played a role in, no matter how unpopular the show, no matter how insignificant the role.

So please, act like you've never heard of 6REEZE. Act like you've never even heard of Aether, in public.

That way he can have you all for himself!

[baggebythesea]

She-Ra cast as drinking buddies

Adora - She's great. Friendly and eager and up for anything. Hope you like to talk about horses, though. Try to keep her away from arm wrestling or that's what you're doing the rest of the evening.

Glimmer - She's an angry drunk. Or a happy drunk. Or a crying drunk. Or she challenges everyone in the bar on dart. Whatever she does, she'll do it with a hundred percent intensity. If someone picks a fight with you, you'll have to hold her back before she smashes a bottle and cuts a bitch.

Bow - He's everyones bestest buddie. He will pay for the drinks, listen to your rants, hold up your head over the toilet and help rain in Glimmer.

Catra - She's really guarded at first, but when the inhibitions drops either the claws or the tears come out. Step very carefully around her. Also, if she wants to have your jacket, it's her jacket now.

Scorpia - She's a delight. Friendly and considerate and a good listener. Although there is this feeling that she has some stuff of her own she's just dying to talk to someone about… if you open the floodgates, be prepared for a lot of tears and to listen for the next few hours.

Entrapta - Let's be honest - she won't listen to a word you say and she'll most likely have dismantled the beer pump and invented a new kind of drink before the evening is over, but you won't be bored.

Mermista - Surprisingly good company, once you get past the attitude. Keeps the drinks coming and have some good stories between all the 'Uuuuuughs'.

Sea Hawk - Life of the party. Shanties and drinks and arm wrestling. It's fun to have fun with frieeeeeends. Will probably have set something on fire and got you kicked out (unrelated incidents) before the evening is over, and never shuts up about Mermiiiiiiiista.

Swift Wind (did someone say Swift Wind?) - Pair him with Adora or Sea Hawk and no net amount of brain cells will have been added to the party. Up for anything and a good sport, though. Expect singing.

Perfuma - Friendly and considerate and works really hard to be a good listener, but if you just want a drink and some chit-chats rather than a group therapy session she's a bit too much. Try to appeal to her inner theatre kid to channel her energies into something more entertaining.

Netossa - PUT THE JÄGERMEISTER AWAY! EVERYTHING DOESN'T NEED TO BE A COMPETITION!

Spinnerella - The team mom makes sure everyone has a good time and stays hydrated.

Frosta - Thinks it's super unfair that she isn't allowed to drink. Still, if you get her to settle down in the juice bar she can be tons of fun.

Castaspella - Fruit drinks and party hats for everyone! Better step up your game, because everyone's friendly wine aunt won't let anyone be bored.

Shadow Weaver - The drinks are bad and the atmosphere is worse and you are beneath her notice. If you can get through her barrage of insults and appeal to her pride, she has the best stories though. Don't expect to come out of it unscarred.

Hordak - He will sit stiff, uncomfortable and completely silent for three drinks, and then he will speak in monotone voice with increasing amount of rage about the injustices he has suffered. Someone might die before the night is over, but it will sure be memorable

Horde Prime - Wonderful company - if your idea of a good time is hearing a narcisist yap on about himself and demand your constant attention. Otherwise, prepare to have a lousy time. Don't leave your drinks alone with him at any time.

Wrong Hordak - LOOK BROTHER, I'M PARTAKING! chugs beer LOOK, BROTHER! DO YOU SEE ME PARTAKE?

Imp - WHO LET THAT LITTLE SHIT INTO THE BAR? Good luck catching him when he zooms around the ceiling.

Emily - I'll be honest, I didn't know robots could drink. Neither did I know they can DISCO, but Emily proves me wrong on both counts.

Angella - Good luck getting her to settle down and relax. No, Angella, the fact that you heard a siren doesn't mean Glimmer has set something on fire (we hope, at least). Has no idea how the social codes are supposed to work, but likes to feel included.

Micah - At home in any company and a great listener. If you're lucky you'll get some stories out of him that will start with "Oh, it's nothing special. We all have that evil teacher that tricked you into helping her kill the entire senior faculty, right?" and spirals from there.

Juliet - The royal guard is never off duty. She might haul you off to cool down if you get too rowdy, but that's it.

Rogelio - Great listener, but not that good a conversationalist.

Kyle - Goddamit, Kyle!

Lonnie - Yes, Lonnie, you can drink more than me. Yes, Lonnie, you can arm wrestle me. No, Lonnie, I wasn't trying to start any shit with Kyle. Sorry, Lonnie, I'll stay out of your way.

Double Trouble - "Hey, you know what would be REALLY funny. If you distract the bartender, I'll… do a thing. No, don't worry about it. Just a thing. It will be funny."

Huntara - Two rules in the Crimson Waste, where one is not to disturb her as she drinks. If you're on her in-list, prepare to have a good time. If you're not, step carefully around her.

Tung Lashor - Sometimes all you want is someone to chug beer and shout the refrains to some stupid songs with. Just keep him away from cats.

Octavia - You know what, better keep her away from cats as well.

[spectrechosts]

Necrosis - Chapter 4

Not a single happy camper in this necromancer's lair.

Full Series

Everyone was fucking miserable as they came up on the wizard's spire.

Lunaeris and Hrok were miserable because you could count the number of zombies they had encountered on one hand, so the adventure wasn't really shaping up how they'd wanted. The wizard being miserable made the paladin miserable, though she was less likely to just abandon the quest outright on account of it not being fun to save the world.

Sophia was always a bit of a grump. A tenet of her faith, perhaps.

And then Ryse.

Oh, oh Ryse.

Lagakh had well and truly fucked things up, and Ryse wouldn't even let her try to explain that really, it's not a big deal we can just go back to how things were it's fine. She was more distant than ever before, Lagakh was sure she'd be gone the moment they wrapped this up.

So needless to say she was miserable. Ryse was her friend, she never wanted… this. And now her misunderstanding had ruined it. She wanted to fix things, to apologize, to understand her.

But there was no time. The necromancer's lair was before them.

"Any wards?" She asked, and Lunaeris lazily waved her staff in front of her.

"Nope."

"Traps?"

Ryse hopped off her horse without so much as a glance toward her and inspected the door.

"Nothing, boss."

"Okay. Are we ready?" Lagakh asked, and everyone kind of looked at eachother and made noncommittal noises.

Good enough.

"Alright. Hrok, you and I take point. Everyone on your guard, we don't know what's waiting for us."

"I can make a guess." Lunaeris offered. "Nothiiiing."

"You say the tether points here. There's something in there, just- keep your eyes open."

Ryse popped the lock open, and-

"DOWN!" Hrok shouted, as the door swung open and a zombie lunged at her. She collapsed backwards and rolled out of the way, and he rushed in and cleaved through its neck, head sailing off its shoulders as its body continued through the lunge and came to a crashing stop on the ground.

"See? Eyes open. Thank you Hrok." She said. "Ryse, are you-"

"I'm fine." Ryse said curtly.

"…Okay." Said Lagakh.

Her and Hrok entered and scanned the room for more threats before waving the others inside.

"Check for traps." She ordered, and Ryse and the wizard swept the room.

"Nothing." Said Ryse.

"Minor fireball trap. I can dispel it, just give me a second." Said Lunaeris, and then under her breath- "One zombie and a fireball trap what kind of fucking necromancer lair-" A faint shower of sparks scattered across the ground as the mana dispersed. "Got it."

"I don't like this." Kallixenia piped up. "I have a bad feeling."

"It's certainly strange." Added Sophia. "Why is it so sparsely defended?"

They made their way up the spire, disarming the occasional trap but facing no further resistance.

"I-I really don't like this. Something's wrong here." Said Kallixenia, looking more nervous than Lagakh thought anyone her size should.

"Wizard?" She asked, and Lunaeris scanned their surroundings for magic.

"We don't seem to be under the effect of anything, but the power source of the horde is right above us. Two, maybe three floors up."

"Is it safe for us to keep approaching it?"

Lunaeris shrugged. "Is it safe for us not to?" She said. "I have no idea. Nobody has ever seen anything like this, to my knowledge."

She paused, passing her staff to her offhand and wiggling her fingers.

"My hand feels tingly. Might not like casting near it."

"Anyone else tingly?" Lagakh asked, and most of the party shook their heads.

"Just from nerves." Said Kallixenia, and Lunaeris latched onto her arm to comfort her.

"Right. We keep going."

They continued on, until Lunaeris signaled them to wait.

"It's just up there." She said, gesturing at the next staircase climbing along the tower wall. "I'll go take a peek, see what we're dealing with."

"I'll go with you." Offered her wife, despite her misgivings.

"You sure?"

"Whatever's up there has had me on edge since we got here, I'm not letting you just walk into it alone." She said, shakily.

"Alright." Lagakh said, nodding. "Just look. Don't mess with anything until we're absolutely sure what we're doing."

"Yes, yes." Lunaeris said, waving her off dismissively.

The two slowly climbed the stairs.

"Huh." Said Lunaeris, from the top of the stairs. "That can't be good."

And then there was a loud crash, and she shrieked.

"Wh- Kallie! Kallie what- Someone help!"

The rest of the party scrambled to catch up to them, finding Lunaeris kneeling over an unconscious Kallixenia.

"What happened to her?!" Asked Sophia.

"I don't know! She just collapsed!" The wizard cried, panicked.

"Hrok, help me move her downstairs, get her away from- What is that?" Sophia asked.

Lagakh looked out over the room, bewildered. A complex magical circle was etched over most of the floor, and in the center-

A hole.

It- It felt bad to look at. Like her eyes couldn't make sense of it. A portal of some kind, but not big enough for anything to pass through. She averted her eyes and checked the rest of the room as Kallixenia was carefully carried away. This was clearly the necromancer's main work area, notes and journals were strewn about, chalkboards hung on the walls and covered in scribbled writings; but there was still no sign of any necromancer actually present here.

Someone tapped on her shoulder, and she nearly jumped out of her skin before spinning to face Ryse.

"Come look at this." The feline said, with a troubled expression.

They circled the room in the opposite direction until Ryse pointed Lagakh into a small side room. In it was a single zombie, pinned beneath a chair.

"Okay? What-"

"Hello?" The zombie rasped, and Lagakh jumped again. "Is someone there?"

"What the fuck?" She whispered, and Ryse shrugged.

"I can't-" It said, arms uselessly scratching at the floor. "I can't look at you, I can only talk, who's there?"

"My name is Lagakh." Said Lagakh slowly. "Are you- What are you?"

"I'm Narina, I don't, I don't know exactly. I'm this zombie, but I don't- I can talk, and I see through its eyes, but I can't do anything else. I've been trapped here for… I don't know how long. Listen, can you just- Take off the amulet my body has? I think that'll stop it. The trapping, not the moving, be careful."

"Yeah, sure, but- Do you have any idea where the necromancer is?" She asked.

"I- I think I might have killed him." Said Narina. "Well, not me, but, zombie me. Chomped him pretty good and haven't seen him since, and that was… uh… a while ago. Maybe a month?"

[slow-writer]

TMAGP (and TMA, indirectly) Spoilers and Thoughts...

You have been warned...

I wasn't part of the original TMA crowd back when it was first airing. I'd heard mutterings of it, but never really thought much about it. To be honest, I probably wasn't mentally ready for it back then. Instead, my younger sister started listening to it last year and then kept talking about it until something she said made me go, "Y'know what? Okay. I'm in."

I ended up bingeing through it during work this past October, and holy sh*t. I fell down the rabbit hole hard. (Maybe, in this case, it would be more akin to running face first down those coffin stairs? I digress.) Being so new to it when everyone else had already been swallowed up by the sky, it was cool to dig into the Wikis that had already been made, to see the links and foreshadowing.

But now, it's the beginning of TMAGP, and I actually get to listen the day they release, to jump on here, or reddit, or tiktok, or wherever to be a part of the theorizing AS IT HAPPENS. And boy oh boy, I'm happier than Simon Fairchild in the stratosphere.

Do I have a notebook to jot down my thoughts as I listen? Of course, I do. Do I have multiple tabs open, some with ARG info, some with TMA info, and yet more with references to alchemical symbols and practices? Duh. Have I started my own spreadsheet for it all? Well, if you knew about my Lego Dimensions spreadsheet.... nevermind. Yes, I have.

But nothing beats being able to talk (or type) about it with other fans, like my sister, or those faceless avatars (lol) of the interwebs. And man, has my brain been CHURNING.

First, let me get out of the way that I wasn't able to take part in the ARG as it was happening, and my goodness! I'm so happy there are other people out there like me who were able to sum up and load it up for the rest of us to learn about. No idea how much of it will be *necessary* to unlock all the secrets, but I'm the kind who loves to know trivia just cos. And the details I am learning definitely pull me deeper.

Second, I feel like in the beginning of TMA, there was barely anything for the listeners to dig through. One guy working on behalf of an organization, trying to dig through seemingly implausible and overly spooktastic first-hand statements dating back centuries that are in crazy disarray from the previous archivist, and he's laying on a hefty helping of "this is utter balderdash, complete poppycock, and absolute piffle" opinion. It was a slow burn, something that (as an American, and being exposed to so much more instant gratification in storytelling than necessary) UK storytellers seem to be experts in, and was even more expertly done in this case, since so many little things had to eventually build up without listeners automatically assuming what would happen next, without them getting bored.

But TMAGP is already so full of so much extra stuff, so many little things (even before it was released) that we may all get BURIED in the sheer amount of data we think is vital. We're not listening to tapes this time, we're definitely listening via internet-connected devices, like computers, mobile phones, and security cameras. So, while TMA had old tape recorders magically appearing (or were they being dragged by hordes of spiders?) and switching themselves on so they could hear all the random happenings within the archive, TMAGP is no longer reliant on such hand-wavery. Whatever/whoever is listening can do so from anywhere to anyone they want. That makes the world of TMAGP

SO MUCH BIGGER.

Third, I know not everyone who listens to these things is like me (or, let's face it: us--there are so many fans doing regular deep dives on here, we should have our own categorization on the wiki). There are bound to be listeners who just leave everything at face value and wait for the story to unfold itself organically, and when it's done, it's done. But even as an adolescent, when I got into something, I did my best to listen to, watch, or read everything I could find on that very niche thing. At least for a while. (Hello, undiagnosed ADHD!)

So, I watched/listened to a couple interviews and Q&As regarding the new show prior to release. And while both Alex and Jonny have been clear saying you don't have to have listened to TMA to enjoy TMAGP, I kind of think just saying that is leading us TMA fans in a very specific direction. And I think it's very intentional, and that a lot of fans either haven't heard about it yet, or are choosing to ignore it.

They say that TMAGP is tangentially related to TMA in that there will be familiar themes, but

it's taking place in a completely different universe from TMA;

time in TMA worked differently (especially during the Entity Torturepalooza in S5) towards the end, so dates of events there may not line up with dates or events in this universe; and

the main or overarching theme is different.

In TMA, the story was "what makes a monster a monster?" As in, is there a line one crosses that they can't return from? Is it a physical manifestation, like it alters their appearance? Is it an action they have to take? And does that action have to be done willingly, or can it be coerced? Does becoming the monster to protect someone else, or to achieve a greater good... does any of that matter?

In TMAGP, they've already said that the story will be "what makes a person a person?"

The implications of that sentence are many and mind-boggling.

I first thought it had something to do with the idea of the humane (not human): kindness, empathy, compassion. The ties that bind us together as people (like being fans of a little horror podcast from across the pond) could be part of this.

But, now that we have 5 episodes out, and a metaphorical army of lore-deep-divers digging through every word and sound effect and episode title, I think we can truly start to figure out where we're heading.

Artificial Intelligence.

It struck me as I was re-listening to the first episode this morning. (I really am trying to fill out my spreadsheet in a semi-logical manner and with as many pertinent details as possible, really. That's the main reason I was doing that this morning. At least, that's what I tell myself.) We are hearing all these happenings over web-connected devices (don't think I don't see you, Alex and Jonny, and your oh-so-hilarious punning!), the OIAR employees are working on a modified business-forward version of Windows NT 4.0 that precedes Windows 95 that has a name that we interpret as 'Freddy' (or Freddie, depending on where you are in the transcripts), one of the documents from the ARG was a spreadsheet called 'Klaus' (which IS the name of the former IT guy Gwen's asking about because she heard/saw young Lena arguing with him), and we have at least 3 text-to-speech "voices" that Alice has given names (Chester, Norris, and Augustus).

All of that was running through my brain, and then I heard this passage within the first few minutes of the episode:

LENA - Nonsense. Sam is the only one who has had any cake so far. GWEN - And that was only because you practically forced it down his throat. SAM - No, no, it was… nice. LENA - People like chocolate cake.

People like chocolate cake? She didn't even ask her employees (all 5 of them at that time) what flavor they'd prefer, or if they'd want something else? No. She just knows a fact that "people" like chocolate cake, so of course, her employees--who are people--would like chocolate cake.

Almost like a computer following a logic-based workflow, perhaps?

Lots of people have been trying to figure out who in the office is the Big Bad, and many are saying Gwen just because of her ambition and her last name (Bouchard), but I think her name is a red herring. Others are saying Alice knows more than she lets on (and so many are hating on her, and I will NOT ABIDE THE ALICE DYER SHADE because I love her and I would very probably hide bodies for her) but I agree that certain things she's said are a little sus, though they really could just be her personality. I really have known some women like her, and they are some of my favorite people. (Plus, the fact that we now know that she's the most tenured employee at the OIAR--save possibly Lena--does make the brain churn some more.)

But with this line about chocolate cake, and how she was unable to join them at the pub, and how we haven't had a scene with her outside of the OIAR office, it makes me think that Lena might just be part code.

[Let me also add this really quick: I've seen A LOT of people trying to make the current episodes fit into Smirke's 14 +Dekker's 1, but I don't think the Entities as we codified them are what we're dealing with in this universe. I think trying to link everything back to that show will be a lot of wasted thought, because as they said, this isn't a direct sequel. (Do I think it's actually Jon, Martin, and Jonah--yes, Jonah, not Jurgen--trapped in the computer system? A bit, but it won't shatter my appreciation if the voices are something else entirely.)

Plus, I've seen others saying that the statements we've heard, while creepy, aren't all necessarily to do with fear. Most of them are about desires and obsessions.

The woman who wanted so desperately to see her dead husband again that she'd get scammed over and over to possibly resurrect him;

the person who wanted to spelunk an 'unsolved' site to the point of crime;

the woman who wanted to finally feel comfortable in her skin to the point of disfiguring herself;

the man who wanted so badly to climb out of his assigned station and achieve fame that he'd regularly 'feed' his violin blood from other people;

and the man who wanted to feel the same terror he felt when watching scary movies with his dad when he was a kid to the point of chasing down 'borderline illegal films' and ignoring LITERALLY ALL the red flags to the end.

I think that theory is the closest to what we may actually encounter.]

I've seen others on reddit saying they think that this series will be about the race to create the philosopher's stone--the stone that creates the elixir of life and, essentially, immortality. I think it's a valid idea. But, what if it went further than that?

Because with all the alchemical hints dropping in the show's logo, the ARG, and the 3-category system to the statements (yes, I'm keeping track) that could make one think of the spirit, the mind, and the body in alchemy....

What if they're trying to create life from software?

What if these entities or desires or whatevers have been working through some ancient busted code, feeding off statements from "real" humans experiencing strong emotions, watching the employees that work with it every single night, so they can create something as close to a human as possible from just wires and 3 decades of unreadable code?

Oh lord... it just occurred to me that--due to this being a HORROR podcast--they might need to collect a skin suit for the Not Quite Human. Is that what happened to Klaus? Ick. And now I'm hoping I'm wrong.

[corneille-but-not-the-author]

Fire

(I challenge you to indentify every character here, there are a few hints in the notes)

I've never been scared of fire.

I know it's stupid. Mom would always tell me I should be more careful when handling the candles to light up the scene. She would tell me "Fire is dangerous, fire is destruction".

But I wouldn't believe her. Because fire is light, and fire is love.

Fire is the way I dance and smile.

Fire is light in darkness, fire is our beating hearts.

Fire is life, and that's why i wanted to reignite the flames in your heart. That's why I made you walk in flames, so that you can see they can be tamed. So that you can see there is no danger in taking risks. So that we could love each other completely without being haunted by phantoms of our pasts.

We are one, right now.

And I love you more than anything.

I've always been scared of fire.

Mom would put her hand on my shoulder, make me look at her subjects, my subjects. She would smile and the flames, in the braziers, would expand the shadows on her face, making it look like a deranged mask.

Flame is the truth, and I couldn't bear it.

It would always be the same room. Those four walls, those pillars of stone, the Kraken Coast only has one hall worthy of being called kingly. And my mother, the Queen, would sit in her throne and deliver justice.

How many peope died while I was looking at them ?

How many have I seen perish in the flames Mother held ?

That was her magic. Flames. And she would use it against anyone daring to conspire against her. Sometimes, she would wake me up, in the middle of the night, and bring me to isolated places. Then, she would smile, and command.

Dodge. Dodge. Dodge. Or burn.

"You shall be a weapon. And I shall forge you."

Fire means truth. But distinguishing my nightmares from the truth, all those memories, is so difficult, now that it's other.

Fire is a weapon. And only I can wield it properly.

I'm merely a man of the Church. A devotee under Flame and her guidance. My passion, my drive, those are not to doubt anymore.

I was scared of fire, a long time ago. Now, I am the torch. I choose who to purify. I choose who to blame. I am justice.

Because it's all it's ever been about, isn't it ? Justice is just another name for power. And now, as I'm about to be crowned King, I'm the most just man in the land.

One last detail to solve.

One last problem.

Use this weapon one last time. Unleash my goddess upon the world. Purify those ignorants, those savages. And make sure the word will never be the same.

A long time ago, a Prophet told me I would be a Key to open a new Era. And if it means dancing in a symphony of flames, I would gladly oblige.

Fire is my tomb and I need to run.

I got back to save a life.

I will save a life.

Sacrifice mine.

Is it so problematic ?

...

I'm thinking about the one I love.

It's weakening me.

I need to do it.

They need you too.

I need to save him.

He's a murderer. You're the paragon.

That's because I'm the paragon I won't. Ever. Give up.

...

I'm so sorry.

But I don't think I can take any more steps.

...

Think about them. Never surrender. You already fought the flames, multiple times. Why would those be any different ?

It's a life.

And I'm going to save it. No matter the cost.

Flames. Flames everywhere.

Why are we doing this ?

It's a fight to the death. Between Men and Beasts. One against the Horde. It's a fight to get rid, once and for all, of those who kill and devour our children.

I feel dirty.

"You're not a murderer, Kaspar"

And so I killed to prove them wrong.

"You can stop this !"

I can't. I can't. It's too late.

"You're not a bad person, Kaspar Schutz."

Shut up. Shut up. Shut. UP.

...

A melody.

A last ditch effort to save me.

You shouldn't save me.

I am the one who lit the forest on fire. I am the one who killed all those people. While trying to bring justice to the world, I ended up being a second Walpurgis.

I did start the fire. And I do not control any of it, now.

I'm so sorry.

"There is still fire in him ! It's not over !"

I have lost coun of my patients. I would say it's roughly the ninetyth pseudo-corpse I'm getting today. This one is in a particularly bad shape, though. I recognize the commander of one of those two armies which are rendering my whole body of work fucking useless, outside.

"Hey ! Do you hear me ?!"

I scream, so that he does not fade into unconsciousness. I do not care from which side he is, or who he is, I'm a doctor. Doctor never let their patients die.

Not while they still have fire in them.

"Breathe ! What is your name, my dumb fucker ?!"

"Jar...Jarghalsaikhan..."

"Good ! I'll call you Jar ! I'm Herbert, pleased to meet you !"

I crack a smile. By those who call themselves gods, we're going to loose him. I grab my scalpel. Look at all those injuries. I hear the cries of the other soldiers. I hear the plaints.

I hear the war, outside.

"Stay with me, son !"

Think of life as a bright, magnificent flame.

Think of doctors as flamekeepers, always on duty, never letting it go.

Think of my job as anything else than the blood, the organs, the guilt, the empty stares, the end.

Think.

"Think, Jar ! And whatever you do, do, not, fucking, fall asleep ! Or you're dead, you hear me ?!"

He heard me right.

My smile stays on. Good. I think we can save this one.

Fire is passion.

Fire is love.

Fire is our skins, so firmly put against one another. The warmth, the kisses, uninterrupted.

Fire is the way you move and the way I feel.

Fire is the last step before transcendance.

Fire is the seventh sky.

Fire is my love for you.

For you all.

I might be an empress. A phoenix. The fire burning inside me is nor for my ennemies, not my opponent. It's a gentle one. For loving, only. Never hurting.

There was a time I thought it was a liability.

The truth is, I do not care, now.

They may see me as weak. They may see me as feeble.

But don't they dare lay a single hand on you.

I feel so little.

I'm trapped.

A little soul in a big hunk of metal.

I'm alone.

I'm scared.

But I have difficulties to grasp what is "scared".

Should I even be able to breathe ?

I don't think i'm breathing.

My little flame is so weak.

A smile.

Another victim of my existence.

I'm very sorry.

But at the same time...

"What is a child, anyway ?"

[good-beanswrites]

Fe Aspec Week Day 6: Supports

The restraint it took not to do another Lukas-Python support piece... But no!! I needed my yearly dose of Feliciazura!! And was personally offended that they don't have supports together!!! 😤 I usually like the idea that Azura doesn't realize she's ace and Felicia helps her realize why she's felt so different her whole life, but in writing these I ended up completely reversing that dynamic haha. I'm real happy with how they came out! Alright, roll Are You Listening?...

C Support:

🩷 Alright, here goes. One… two… eek! Lady Azura, I didn’t see you there!

💙 My apologies, Felicia, I didn’t mean to frighten you. If I may ask, what were you doing���?

🩷 No need to apologize, I was just, um! Just cleaning. Right. 

💙 Are you certain…? You were standing in front of the mirror, with all these books open around you. 

🩷 E-exactly! It’s a mess, so I was just cleaning all of that, no need to –

💙 Oh my, they’re all romance novels! I see…

🩷 No! You don’t see anything!

💙 All these pages you have open… your pillow in your arms… were you… practicing kissing, by any chance? 

🩷 ACK!

💙 Haha, I remember growing up in Hoshido, all the little children would practice kissing with their pillows, too. I didn’t realize the custom was shared with Nohr.

🩷 Gods, this is so embarrassing. To be caught doing something so childish! Why can’t I get anything right? (leaves)

💙 Oh, Felicia, wait! I didn’t mean to embarrass her. I actually thought it was rather cute...

B Support:

💙 Felicia, there you are! I’ve been meaning to speak with you lately.

🩷 Ugh, if this is about the other day, there’s no need. I have been mortified about it ever since…

💙 Why are you ashamed? As I said, that’s a very common practice in Hoshido.

🩷 Yes, for kids! Kids who are clueless about romance and doing something silly with their friends. It’s not the type of practice you’d expect from a grown woman who should certainly know how to kiss by this time in her life. I’ve already proved myself a failure at everything else, I suppose it makes sense I’d be falling behind when it comes to romance, on top of all that.

💙 What makes you a failure?

🩷 I’ve never kissed anyone before. Like, really kissed them. I’ve fallen in love and tried to do it right, but every single time I leave like a coward when things get too serious. If even kissing is difficult for me, there’s no way I could do anything more…

💙 … Are you calling me a coward, as well?

🩷 W-what? Of course not, milday! Why would you say such a thing? 

💙 Well, I have no experience with kissing either.

🩷 *sigh* Lady Azura, you don’t have to try and make me feel better. You’re the most competent, gorgeous, charming, and calm woman in the whole army. Surely you have hordes of suitors at your heels! You must have experienced everything that romance has to offer, by this point. 

💙 You flatter me, Felicia. But there’s no need to put yourself down so harshly. From what I’ve gathered, you and I are very similar. I never had experience with those types of things because I never wished for them. Everyone seeks different things in a relationship.

🩷 Yes, but everyone wants to kiss their lover!

💙 Not everyone…

🩷 I told you that you didn’t need to make me feel better. If you’ll excuse me. (leaves)

💙 Ah, I really thought we were getting somewhere this time.

A Support:

🩷 Lady Azura, could we speak for a moment? I’m feeling a little guilty about how our last conversation concluded. 

💙 Oh, what is it Felicia?

🩷 I was so caught up in my own worries, and I wasn’t truly listening to you. When you said we were very similar… did you mean, you also weren’t looking for the more physical aspects of a relationship?

💙 That is correct. You’ll need to pardon my assumptions about you. I do hope I did not overstep.

🩷 Not at all! B-but, doesn’t that frighten you? I’ve always feared that I’m not enough for others. Any time I think about confessing my love, it seems like I’ll need to be more, do more, than I want. So I’ve never acted on my feelings for another.

💙 It certainly can be confusing, at first.

🩷 When I’m falling behind with my duties as Corrin’s maid, Jakob just tells me to practice, practice, practice! I had hoped the same would ring true for these struggles. But no amount of practice or preparation has helped me, yet. If it’s true, and you also haven’t had experience like that… Well, how are you so content with not being enough?

💙 Why, because I am enough. When you find a partner, you find someone that completes you. Neither of you demand anything from the other. You communicate and compromise, as any relationship. But if there’s something you simply cannot give, they need not ask it of you.

🩷 Hm… that is a nice thought… 

💙 So if you don’t want to kiss anyone, or do anything else that may seem unappealing, that doesn’t make you a failure by any means. That just makes you, you. No practice necessary.

🩷 Thank you milady, I’d never thought of it that way before. I have some thinking to do, I believe.

💙 I’ll be here anytime you wish to talk.

S Support:

🩷 Lady Azura, I have a confession to make.

💙 A confession?

🩷 Well, two actually. My first is that… on the day that you caught me practicing kissing… well… it was because I had hoped to kiss you. 

💙 Oh!

🩷 I noticed my feelings a long time ago, but any time I tried to admit them, I got too nervous that I would fall short. I thought if I tried extra hard, maybe I could show you that I could give you anything you needed.

💙 Felicia, I hope you know that I will never ask you to be anything other than yourself. You’re absolutely perfect the way you are. And it's very sweet that you wanted to do something out of your comfort zone for me. You work harder than anyone here, I believe.

🩷 Of course I wanted to! I’ll do anything for the people I care about.

💙 I know. That’s why I admire you so much. I’m really glad the two of us could talk. It’s been so long since I’ve met someone so much like myself. Maybe it’s for the best that I stumbled in on you, hm?

🩷 Oh no, I’m still horribly embarrassed by that!

💙 Haha! And what of your second confession?

🩷 That’s right – my other one was… ack ! It was going to be a love confession, but I guess you already know that now! Ah, I’ve gone and done it all backwards…

💙 I don’t mind in the slightest. My answer, of course, is yes. I’d love nothing more than to be yours.

🩷 I just love you so much! I promise you, I’ll do whatever it takes for both of us to be the most comfortable.

💙 And I vow to make sure you never feel lacking. Together, we will be more than enough.

[haejjoon]

Recently I was brain-rotting with someone about Joker's sexuality and we both concluded that... He seems kinda uncomfortable in the game. Mostly because of the "There's no turning back..." Msg afterward. Like, Atlus? Why is this so menacing and dreadful? And then you have these several moments of Akira jokingly flirting/or openly flirting with his Bros (gobro included<3)

It's just that nothing happens in relationships... I know you can interpret anything as you want *ahem* Curse Atlus for making silent Protagonists. But I couldn't feel like Akira enjoys it. It is as if he felt that he has to be in relationships with women (I forgot the term name but it's like when you question your sexuality because of heteronormative everywhere)

Of course, it may be just because romance is purely optional so there is no need to write it that in deep. But some romance routes are showing disapproval through Sojiro or Akira's face in model change.

It's just... Seeing Akira smiling after the friendship route with Futaba was such a whiplash for me. He doesn't do it when saying he loves her. I never even KNEW he CAN change his face on a model!!! That made me so curious if his face changes with others by he always facing away from the camera</3

Let me study you, Jokerrrr

(if someone is curious about Futaba, you can find screenshots on @/leonawriter's blog)

So uhh... I am really curious what are your thoughts on Romance in P5 :D

Because there are several posts about some translation misses in Persona for a variety of reasons as well as THESE. DAMN. FLOWER. KEYCHAINS.

Atlus can "queerbait" me as much as Capcom(Ace Attorney) but it is not my fault they have written these characters with homoerotic tension!!!

...or maybe I am just deluded AroAce V.V

So, yeah, sorry for my rant about not well-written romance :'D

HOL ON LETTER COOK???? U HAVE A POINT.

i always saw the romance options as... you know, options, which was why i always took them with a grain of salt. like its kind of ridiculous how little romancing anyone affects the overall plot. i romanced haru my first run through because i thought it'd somehow give her more screentime via plot (jun hhaeyeun u poor, poor fool.)

but you're so right??? whats the in lore reason as to why joker seems so aloof?? from his various options in main plot we know that hes pretty memey, cares a lot for his friends, etc etc. but when u have the option to romance the Girl Of Your Dreams you're suddenly about as emotional as a rock? i think ur onto smth...

not to mention he DOES seem to be super uncomfortable with the options... idk he always seemed like he was just going along with whatever the girl wanted to make her happy, bc he was her friend. one thing in particular that i wanted to point out was ann's romance route, where ur choices are either "you can rely on me" or "you can rely on the others" .... WHAT. like obviously you'd say "i'm here for you", right?? obviously akiren would say that he's here for ann, right?????? personally i think that akiren doesnt even know when hes dating a girl. the horde of girls who castrate him on valentine's day absolutely took him by surprise. he was just being a homie.

(which i think is prettu sad if you think about it... half of the dialogue options to toggle the romance route just sounds like akiren's trying to be friendly. "you can rely on me" "i came here to see you" "you've got me" arent romantic in the slightest. these poor fucking girls... a guy is decent to them One Time and they're over the moon .......... pls u all deserve better)

[mrbexwrites]

Sibling Q&A Tag

Tagged by @spideronthesun here- thank you <3 Leaving an open tag for anyone else who'd like to do this, as my brain is not working at the moment 😅 I was going to answer this for my Memento Mori siblings, but the questions fit Mavis & Connor best!

1. Who looks the most like Dad?

Connor: Mavis. Mavis: We're twins. I feel like we both have a lot of his features. Unfortunately. Connor: You more than me, though. You have his frown, and you wear it all the time. Mavis:...

2. Who looks the most like mom?

Both: Colleen. Connor: She definitely takes after Mum. She got her eyes, which definitely helps.

3. Who eats the most?

Mavis: Connor. You've put some weight on, recently. Maybe time t cut down. You've got a wedding suit to squeeze into. Connor: Don't fat-shame me! I've been stress eating, and Hadley says my having a tummy means that there's more for me to love!

4. Who has been in the weirdest situations?

Connor: Mavis. 100% Mavis. I mean...you've met her right? She's pretty effed-up.

5. Who sleeps the most?

Mavis: Connor. He lies in bed well past sunrise most days. Connor: Some of us just sleep a normal eight hour night, and can't survive on whatever sleep they can snatch. Mave, getting less than four hours of sleep per night isn't healthy!

6. Most stable romantic life?

Both in unison: Connor.

7. Worst habit of each one?

Connor: Mavis has a lot of unaddressed anger issues. She's going to need a lot of therapy. She likes to horde tins of food, but I think that's a trauma response. She doesn't use her words to tell us how she's feeling, she'll just sulk and lash out, expecting us to know what's wrong with her. She's pretty grumpy most of the time. But she does like to keep thins neat and tidy....a little too neat and tidy. Like 'everything has a place' tidy. So, yeah... Mavis: ... Mavis: Connor chews with his mouth open.

8. Who's the most dramatic?

Connor: Mavis Mavis: Connor. Connor: Wait...! What?! How am I the most dramatic? Mavis: You cried when you got punched in the face. Connor: That's not being dramatic! That's being in pain! You're the dramatic one! You blew up an art gallery just because Arnauld was in it! Mavis: That's not dramatic. That's being thorough. Connor:...

9. Who had a weird phase?

Mavis: Connor. He went through his emo phase. With a stupid fringe and lip piercing. The long chain hanging from his jeans. The poetry! Connor: It was a phase! yes, it was super cringe, but who wasn't a total little weirdo when they were 13 years old?

10. Best cook of the family?

Connor: Mum. 100% Mum. She bakes her own bread, makes her own yoghurt. She can take anything and turn it into a banquet. Honestly, you should come round. She'll never see someone go away hungry.

11. Best memory together?

Mavis: That day we went fishing in the river, and you caught a fish. I helped you reel it in. Connor: We were five or six. That's your favourite memory of us? Mavis: *shrugs*

12. Worst memory together?

Connor: There was this one time when Mavis kidnapped me, and took me to our father. He tortured me. That wasn't great.

13. Dream trip together

Connor: Pretty much anywhere. We've been apart for most of our childhood. Maybe a camping trip so that we can have proper time spent in nature, bonding, reminiscing... Mavis: I'd rather go to Hell than go on a holiday with you.

14. Would you rather not be able to shower for a month or have the same clothes for a month?

Connor: Shower. I'd hate not being able to shower. I want to be cleeean! I could always air out my clothes, or spray them with deoderant to try to mask the smell. But I want me to be clean and fresh. Mavis: I not fussed. Done both, if I'm honest. No-one complained. Connor: It's a good thing that smell isn't something that can travel over our psychic link...!

15. Who's the older one?

Connor: Mavis. But only by a couple of minutes.

16. Role model?

Connor: Arnauld. He's so cool, and has shaped me into the man I am today. Followed closely by Gary. Mavis: Father.

17. Who usually has the worst ideas?

Mavis: Connor. He's an idiot. Connor: Says the person who blew up an art gallery !!

18. A GIANT insect is on the wall, who's taking care of it?

Both: Mavis. Connor: I'm squemish. Mavis will get it. Mavis: He usually begs for me to just trap it and throw it outside. It's easier to kill it, but he usually asks nicely, and I'm trying to be a better person, so I'll just scoop it into my hand, and throw it out a window.

[vivaciouscynner]

Shared Memories

The door shut with a soft shck behind Mermista. When she entered her own living room with Catra waiting patiently on the tufted couch, she had the briefest moment of panic. Even after all these months, seeing Catra's face alone caused fear. She berated herself internally for it. She looked away trying to suppress a memory that wasn't hers.

She walked over to a chair, tufted in the same way, and sat. Catra's eyes followed her. Mermista's leg began to cross the other and then she thought better of it. Still uncomfortable, she didn't know where to place her foot. "Ugh!" she groaned, "Fuck it," and she draped a leg over the arm rest. "Look, I don't know what you want from me, okay? I know you're sorry. I know you're helping and doing better or whatever. I saw what happened to you. Your memories. They fucking haunt me now. Argh! What am I even saying!? I GET IT! Okay. We- we don't need to talk about it."

"I um-" Catra started weakly. "I wasn't here, really, for me." She sat up from her seat.

"You're here for me? Why?"

Catra cleared her throat, "I got your memories, too. Your dad- not the greatest parent to have raise you either. I just thought- I thought maybe you wanted to talk about it since, you know, you hadn't told anyone before."

"Yeah, well, more than half of all Etheria knows, thanks to Prime. There's really nothing to talk abou-"

"You never talked about it. They have your memories, but they're processing it their way. You never got it off your chest before. And I...," she stared at the floor until her eyes drifted back up to Mermista again, "I know a thing or two about what it feels like to be punished before I did anything wrong and given responsibilities that were supposed to make me fail. How your whole life was designed to make you punish yourself so they didn't have to."

"I-" Mermista began. She was trying to refute it. Trying to reason that she shouldn't show, of all people - Catra, vulnerability. The very fact that Catra was even allowed in Salineas was enough to have the people of her Kingdom question her judgement. But there she was, sitting in front of her, offering a listening ear. She scoffed. Then she pursed her lips with an added slow nod. She looked up at Catra, "He- My father tried to convince me that he was gifting me this kingdom. I barely saw him. I was 20 and the only thing I knew about this place were from the whispered rumors from my guards. He took what he got from the people and then just... left.

"My whole life had been like I was always in his way. An inconvenience that interrupted and-" she glanced at Catra who nodded and hung on to every word. "-whatever."

Catra didn't push her. She instead told her about Shadow Weaver. A memory she knew Mermista was familiar with. "It was never clear why she hated me. Even just walking by her, I could feel her getting tense, like I was bothering her just for existing."

"Yeah! Like what the fuck, right? It's not like I knew he was there. It wasn't like I fuckin' meant to bother him. I barely breathed around him, y'know? Like..., like-"

"Like you were taking up too much of his air."

"Right! I just... It was like I wasn't allowed to exist around him. And oh! But when he comes to me I suddenly have to be so grateful to him! Every time," she growled those words, "Every time he did that, I just got so angry. I hated everything and everyone because I wasn't even allowed to complain! Argh! And I hated that I got angry. I just wanted everything to be chill! And then!

"THEN, after MONTHS of telling everyone he was going to fix the Sea Gate, he sits me down for a 'serious talk'." Mermista took a moment for this. Catra already knew. It was the day Mermista was given Silaneas while he escaped. It was too important for him, the King, to stick around. "I'm a fucking QUEEN! Okay!? I had basically no staff, no guards, and a fuck-ton of people to keep calm while the Horde was at my doorstep!" Catra knew she was venting, it was fine. Mermista let out a heavy sigh, "Glad you're on our side now, shit head," she smirked at that. Catra huffed a laugh in return.

"Well I'm inside now, I'm just waiting for Scorpia to give me the signal. KIDDING! KIDDING! I'm- I'm kidding. Sorry, too soon. It'll always be too soon." Catra's face was turning red and she offered another apology.

"You're a fucking twat, you know that," she said this with the corner of her mouth rising. "It's cool. I know Adora's got you on a leash."

She laughed, "Pff fuck you."

Mermista let out a half sigh half groan that felt like forever, "Okay. You want to do a girls-night-out thing? Maybe we should get captured by some Crimson Waste losers or something and get Sea Hawk to save us."

"Not really in the mood to get burned to death on some ship, no offense, but I'll take you up on the girls night out. You think Netossa and Spinenrella could join us?"

"Sure, why not? Wait, no Adora?"

"Hm? Oh, no. I made the mistake of not believing how Adora gets when she's drunk and uh, kinda not the vibe I was going for tonight, y'know?"

"Drunk She-Ra?"

"Drunk She-Ra. She is really strong."

[kharmii]

now that these reports come out about the truth of everything messed up, shi**y and sinister going on in the trans community gibes me hope that we're witnessing the beginning of the end of this madness and lunacy.

I've seen posts of people being upset about these reports not realizing the people wanting to help and save these people... but I guess you don't want to be saved if you have a "freedom to do everything without consequences" card to be revoked from you... Honestly I'm torn... I feel sorry for all the people pressured into this shitty mess but I can't say I feel too sorry for the people abusing their newfound power and harrass anyone with opposing views...

My hope that once I'm an old lady people look back at this time and think: "WTH was wrong with these people???" has chances of becoming a reality and it gives me comfort...

What needs to happen, -and what eventually will happen- is that there will be hordes of adult survivors who will give testimonies of how they were manipulated into mutilating and sterilizing themselves at a vulnerable age. They wouldn't have had the emotional maturity to be given that sort of agency. People need to wait until they are adults to vote or buy alcohol, but they can chemically sterilize themselves before puberty? They can take drugs that will disintegrate their bone structure and set them up for cancer at an early age because it's super trendy on Tumblr?

Side note: I'm surprised someone hasn't told me personally that I should be arrested for saying such things. That's what they are doing to JK Rowling right now. I keep seeing all the posts here on Tumblr smearing her and basically calling her a criminal because her opinions on biological reality challenge the world views of the militant left delusional narcissists who have to destroy all non-believers. -Like really? She is considered a threat to you people because she doesn't believe, say, a female cosplayer with XY chromosomes is really a woman? -And you think her life and career should be destroyed over this?

Same with those people on the Volo Nation Discord who had a member recently do a plug where they wrote: "Bans are not issued based on what someone draws or writes outside of the server save for extreme circumstances or bigotry (but I'm not gonna vet every newcomer). Your actions within the server are more important." Hello, but didn't you people discuss me in a private channel and throw me out, even though I was a committed lurker and never contributed anything? Were you that petty and narcissistic you saw my opinions as a threat on a forum devoted to simping over a fictional blonde cartoon character?

Here's a hint. Being clannish little twats in whisper networks is a very feminine stereotype, even though a lot of people in fandom fancy themselves as being masculine. That's not to say most women are actually like that. Perceiving females as being cliquey and gossipy is actually a product of culture misogyny. Woman-haters will base all our characters on the actions of the worst, just because they are often the most vocal and vicious. Anybody with a desire to fight against the patriarchy could try doing better. To be fair though, it is considered masculine to want to murder people and stomp their heads into the ground, which is something the radical left has always proven good at throughout history.

Secular progressivism: The cause of more death and misery than all religious wars combined.

Transgender movement: High casualty modern human sacrifice.

[sugolara]

The Plaza

ft. K.B x S.T x I.M x fem! reader

Synopsis: After a deadly virus leaks all over the world, every country is forced to close down it's borders and airports to prevent anyone from coming in and out. Though, it's to late for some people. The dead has rose and is looking for revenge. Cw: gore, quirkless! au, apocalypse! au, zombie! au, weapons, death, angst, lots and lots of blood, cannibalism, suicidal thoughts, slow burn

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The mass of rotters below them had Katsuki, Denki and Eijiro sneer. It's like they knew the three were up there and were waiting for one of them to make a fatal mistake. But, of course they didn't know, otherwise everyone would have been dead due to their functioning brains.

Thankfully, the sun had come up, giving them the advantage as they looked for a way out.

"And you wanted us to go to the RV this morning." Eijiro said, giving Katsuki a look.

The blonde rolled his eyes, though they never left the dead below them, "As if I knew they would still be here. Look at them. All that gunfire brought in more."

Denki sniffled, looking and then pointing at the next building across, "Why don't we just jump there? The alleys narrow so I'm positive no one will fall."

Eijiro and Katsuki looked at him as if he were dumb and the male frustratedly crossed his arms, "At least I'm trying! I don't hear you guys coming up with anything."

"No, wait, he's right." Eijiro stepped on the ledge and examined the space that separated the buildings, "If we throw the stuff first we can make it. I doubt the horde will leave anytime soon and we don't have time to spare."

Katsuki let out an irritated sigh. It wasn't that he was in terrible shape, in fact he was pretty built if he said so himself, but jumping from roof to roof was something he did not want to do, "Fine. Dumbass, how far are we to home?"

Denki gave him a glare before looking at the map, "Not far. Don't tell me we're leaving already. We barely have anything! What about the same place we went to last time, y'know, the warehouse."

"Assuming it's still even there, dude." Eijiro grabbed the duffel bags, "Someone could have already found the place and claimed it."

"Even if they did, we're still taking it." The blonde quickly said, "If we have to, we'll bring more people."

He placed the map in his back pocket, unsure of where they were going next, "So are we heading there? It's a day away."

"We should at least look at it before deciding to move in." The red-head grunted as he threw the bag to other side, a smile on his face as it landed with a thud, "Otherwise we would have gone for nothing."

"Fine." The blonde stretched, unwilling to pull a muscle. While the jump wasn't far, it also wasn't close, "Whatever."

He wondered, as the tip of his nose was red from the cold air, if Izuku was keeping F/n company. He wondered if he managed to convince her to stay. Perhaps this time, Izuku had to pull a move where she can get it through her thick skull that now, everyone needs each other. With Shoto gone, Hanta dead, and their teachers as well, there was no time to lose anyone else. While the thought was frustrating and concerning, he needed his full attention back on this mission.

"Stretching is for losers." Denki said while smuggling looking at Katsuki.

The said loser scoffed, "See what happens after you pull a muscle."

Denki gave him a wink as he took a couple steps back and ran, lifting his feet off the ledge where he landed on the roof with a smile. His heart had paced as he made it. He then turned around, getting up and raising his hands with a grin, "Yo! That was sick!"

"Shut it you moron!" Katsuki scoffed, "You'll draw attention!"

Eijiro let out a soft chuckle. It has been a while since he's seen Denki look like his old self. Smiling, laughing and cracking jokes. It did feel good to see him doing well. Clutching his gun, Eijiro grinned at his close friend before taking off, "Last one there takes watch!"

The blonde smirked, following after him, "You're on!"

They jumped on three roof buildings, and the narrow alley helped them cross. The wind slapping on their faces honestly felt good. If only they wished they could be this free, without a worry in mind. The gravel underneath hurt their feet, their shoes were beginning to get worn down and they needed to replace it, but for now they would enjoy this moment, feeling like kids once again.

"Ahh!" Denki slipped, the gravel hurting his back as he landed. He scraped his hands and he hissed, blowing on them to cool it down, "That hurts!"

"Aha!" Katsuki cackled, clutching his stomach and slightly bending to catch his breath, "You fucking moron! I told you!"

"Dude, seriously?" Eijiro grunted when he landed, making his way to the two and giving Denki an unimpressed look, "How did you even slip?"

"It freaking burns!" The yellow male furiously waved his hands around, tears clinging on his eyelids, "Help me! Help me! Help me!"

The blonde tried to contain his laugh, but when he glanced down at Denki's shoes, he ended up choking on his spit as the bottom of it had disappeared, leaving him in his socks. He turned and pounded on his chest to clear his airway.

Eijiro, on the other hand, shook his head. He wasn't sure if Katsuki was laughing or choking, either way, they needed to get off the rooftop and find a vehicle, then make their way straight to the warehouse, "Get up, Denki and quit laughing or dying Katsuki."

"Yeah, it's not funny." Denki continued to blow on his palm as specks of blood were gathered on it, "Does anyone have a bandaid?"

Once he caught his breath, Katsuki let out a sigh and passed Denki a piece of cloth, "No one has band aids, idiot. Just use that."

Denki sneered in disgust , "Ew, it smells like sweat."

"Put it on!"

"Okay!"

They eventually found a ladder by the side of the building and climbed down. Once they were on their feet, they stayed low, going vehicle to vehicle as a few lingering rotters were by. As they waited for it to pass, the redhead grabbed one of the car door handles. He softly scoffed when it wouldn't open.

"We'll find a car away from here." Katsuki quietly spoke, his eyes never leaving the dead, "A big one."

"So, we are going?" Denki asked, slightly moving the blonde's spiky hair as it tickled his nose.

"Yes, idiot. Now stay quiet." The other male mocked the blonde behind his back. If it weren't for the dead, he would be having fun.

With the dead finally gone, they crossed the street where they entered an alley to keep them hidden. Since Katsuki took the lead, he was at the front of the line and watched for any dead nearby.

A rotter had managed to spot the blonde and it made its way to him. When it was in reach, the blonde quickly grabbed the front of its ripped shirt and plung its knife into it. The squelch caused Denki to cringe. He then carefully but quickly placed it on the ground as another dead had looked his way, though upon not seeing the alive male it slowly limped away.

"When we get back to Sorston we should tell Ochaco to check this place out." The red-head said as he stood behind them.

Denki peeked his head out, "What if Tomura arrived early? He probably took a bunch of shit that'll leave Ochaco out here for weeks."

"If he has his pasty ass can wait." The older blonde frowned, his rifle hitting his side, "And don't underestimate her. With how quick she is she can survive on her own."

Denki eyed him, "Yeah, but you don't know when she'll get tired. Just like us. We're basically killing ourselves but being out here."

"She had Mezo, Fumikage and Izuku." Eijiro added. "They'll be fine so long as they have each other's back."

That was an agreeable statement. They entered another alley and walked through it where they stood in a street of abandoned brick buildings. The brick sidewalk hurt Denki's poor feet and he would whine underneath his breath as they continued.

They stood in a plaza, a mossy, unkempt water fountain was designed in the middle, a few benches placed a couple feet away and behind those benches were flower beds, though the flowers have withered away. Trees also sat by, the leaves were in shades of oranges, some fell above them, indicating winter would arrive soon.

"This place kind of reminds me of Musutafu." Eijiro let his eyes wander, "It reminds me of the mall."

"Damn, do I miss the mall." Denki let out a sigh, reminiscing about those days, "Anyone see a shoe store?"

Katsuki let out a snicker, "If we spot one we'll let you kno-"

"Never mind, found one." Denki ran to the store and pressed himself up against the glass. He wiped a dusty area before peeking in, his breath began to fog up the window, "I don't see anything. Everything looks like it's been untouched."

"Possibly a trap?" Eijiro muttered to himself as he walked to the glass doors. He grabbed his rifle that was strapped to him, his eyes looked to the side of the door in case of any wires, but it was hard to see due to the dark.

Behind them was Katsuki who eyed every building, "Who the hell would want to trap a shoe store?"

"Someone probably likes their shoes." Eijiro joked as he slowly opened the door. When he took a step in, his feet had tipped a wire. His eyes widened as a loud alarm was then set off, the trio being on high alert and quickly lifted their rifles. Before they could enter the store to where they could take cover, a few people emerged from their hiding spot, their own sets of guns aimed at them.

The males could only glare as they were at a disadvantage . There was no entering the store as a gun cocked behind them with a tone laced with malice, "Put your weapons down."

[strawberryamanita]

Hi, none of this matters because I'm a white Christian-raised USAmerican, but I need this out of my system because it's sitting in my body like a poison and I don't know what else to do with it.

If this gets anyone angry at me, I'm just gonna let them be angry, and I'm gonna listen to their lamenting with no feedback because someone needs to.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I really, really don't.

I feel like I'm being screamed at on all sides. I'm absolutely paralyzed by frustration and fear. I don't know if I'm privileged at this point. I don't have the ability to turn away from the horror shows happening in places I can't reach. I don't have money to send. I'm disabled, my mom handles my money. I'm given very little autonomy in this world despite being an adult, I have very little power or sway over anything, and I'm often infantilized and dismissed when I try to speak up in my own house about pretty much anything. By American standards I'm poor, because I'm never allowed more than $2000 to my name at a time. But I think I still might be privileged, because I live in a house and we have money for food and water and we don't currently have bombs raining down on us.

I don't need anyone telling me whether I'm doing enough, because I know I'm not. I'm not able to go out and strike, I'm petrified with the fear that I'm gonna get hurt, and I can't make myself go in spite of this fear. I'm circulating everything I can, but I have a low threshold about these crises and there's only so much I can read at a time before I feel a panic attack coming on.

But that is not enough.

Charity isn't enough. Protesting isn't enough. It's not fast enough action. We need riots in the streets. We need people threatening the US government's safety every single day. We need every rich and famous "progressive" celebrity speaking about this and donating the millions they don't need to survive. I'm furious that not a single YouTuber has spoken up about this; I'm sure their jobs would be on the line, but that feels like a small price to pay at this time.

I always said that if I have nothing else to lose, I wanna throw a bomb through the windows of the White House. I'll get gunned-down on the lawn and called an idiotic disgrace by the rest of the world, but at least I'll have fucking done something for someone else.

Is this white martyrism? Probably. Almost definitely. I don't really know, I can't tell from a first-person perspective. I feel these feelings more deeply than I can make you believe via text alone. It probably sounds performative, but everybody is asking me for performativity, albeit necessary performativity. Keep speaking out. Keep reblogging, keep sharing. Don't look away, but don't mourn. Look at everything that's happening, but don't despair. Steel yourself, but don't become desensitized.

Am I a bystander if I see what's happening but can't help? This is a genuine question, because I actually don't know. I'm being told that I should've known what was going on years ago, and I should have because this Conflict has been happening before I've been born. Before my parents were born. My grandmother would have been just 11 years old when it began. The onus is on me to pay attention, in spite of how little US schools teach us about history outside of the US. I should have known. I want to scream at my younger self every time I decided not to look into it because "it's not something I'm really involved in", which is bullshit because the US has been involved in EVERY war since this demonic horde of misanthropes set foot on the sacred Native land of North America.

I have circulated hundreds, probably thousands of mutual aid posts in my 9 1/2 years on tumblr, and I've never been able to donate myself. I can barely help myself: my disability and mental illness make it so I can't function at regular jobs, the anxiety is just too gripping. I get suicidal ideations at something as mundane as being a cashier. I spend more than 50% of my time actively working on my mental upkeep. I burn calories just trying to keep my brain together, I feel like my own minder.

Am I resting on the laurels of disability? Of white disability? Of whiteness alone? Am I just looking for someone to tell me I'm doing a good job, like a dog would? This can't be activist's guilt, I'm too incompetent and frail to engage in proper activism. Every new word I write is taking someone's attention away from someone else suffering worse than I am. Every dollar I spend on myself is a dollar I should be giving to somebody else. Hell, every morsel of food or drop of water could be going into someone else's mouth.

Why should I spend a minute curating my life when so few people get that same freedom?