#// I have no idea what they are talking about shHHhHH

[usagimen]

      "Even I am concerned by the details of such a statement, care to explain more in depth over tea, @achroanimus? I have pastries as well - freshly made"

[keen-li]

Merry!Ex-mas.

18+ MDNI

22.k words synopsis: you get a notification about plane tickets you purchased about a trip you were excited for, only reason you're not excited at the remainder, is because you had planned the trip with your now ex. At the time you never thought you'd be spending December broken up. So, it felt like a great idea. not so much now. ex!jk x ex!femreader (fem anatomy.) exes to lovers use of 'yn' warnings: angst, fluff, smut: long-distance relationship, exes, second chance, miscommunication, b*tches is awkward, tension, one bed, forced proximity, Jungkook isn't crazy rich but he's got good money, i think he's an accountant, jk has that short ceo hair cut. reader has communication problem, jungkook's freaking green sweater needs it's own fanfic!, think are!you!sure jungkook. protective!jk, there's a creep who approaches reader as jungkook is off skiing, and whilst she's in the sauna(nothing bad happens.), sweet!wants!to!try!jk, jk has issues of not communicating too. they just can't seem to talk. avoiding stuff. teasing. touchy!jk, secret glances. jealousy, reader is very jealous,they're lying to themsleves, jungkook loves to take pictures especially of reader. hot tub jungkook who's looking up at you like you're a goddes. very needy kissing, boob sucking, dirty talking, oral(f!receiving.), handjob, cowgirl, protected!penetration, aftercare. hand kissing. [i don't know what else i need to add, let me know] as per usual, it was edited but if there are any errors, forgive me. A/N: this fic is honestly cause of that Jungkook green sweater I've never travelled to please don't come at me if anything is wrong. I very much world built some things. I've given written from top to bottom so don't except a part 2, unless maybe drabble requests. I wrote this in one week and i'm so proud i was able to write 22k words, in that time. though i was supposed to go up on the 25th[shhhhhh] A/N: i'm still learning how to write smut. so if you think the smut is cringe please don't tell me :) i don't wanna know. unless you want to help me improve it, and you do it kindly, i'd appreciate. likes, reblog, and all positive asks and comments are always appreciated. i hope you're happy with this one. [read under the cut]

You get the notification as you're scrolling through your phone. A remainder of sorts that you had been forgetting something. Cause you had been.

It loomed over you all week. The lingering feeling of remembering what you can’t. You hated it. But now that you know it’s source you couldn’t feel any worse.

Being the recipient of the message, you’re burdened with having to translate the message. Why do you have to do this? Broken up, having to text him feels like opening a can of worms. But the tickets are non-refundable, and it would be unfair for you to not inform him. You did both pay for them, Jungkook of course paying more because he was just too stubborn to split. he'd actually wanted to pay for the full thing but you were at odds with the idea. he settled eventually.

So, it would be unfair to not tell him. Right? Yes. But you don’t want to believe it.

Even if how the hell are you going to remind your ex about the holiday trip you planned thinking you’d be together for; but in turn would celebrate separately. Before the notification of the trip.

To add on, now you have to open your chat. An action you dread to do; for your emotional health.

What are you actually going to say? You think, finger hovering over the keyboard. Something that won’t make you sound like you’ve missed him, were thinking about him or even thinking about going on this trip with him. All which you’ve been doing. You’ve succumb to the thoughts, only because you two broke up in October, still relatively early to just forget a 3-year relationship with someone you thought you’d marry.

Sigh.

You still haven’t answered the question of how you’re even gonna bring it up. Will he even answer?

“shibal” jimin laughs into the speaker, not helping you one bit. “you two are ridiculous.”

You roll your eyes still waiting and hoping he’ll say something sensible. It’s all in vain. “How the hell do you book a trip and break up just before. You couldn’t wait?” He laughs and you just know he’s sat at his computer playing games, from his loud and unfocused speech.

“We didn’t freaking know we’d breakup.” You justify. “Plus, cause of the breakup we forgot. I forgot.” Your voice loses its strength at the end of the sentence, your mind slipping into a deep thought.

You haven’t been able to remember anything of relevance since that day. Maybe only how to breath and live but you’d say your body takes full credit for that.

“Hmm.” is all he says to you before screaming obscenities to someone in his game.

“Jimin are you gonna be of any help or wh-”

“You know what you should do?”

You want to believe his following statement will be of use, but you can never be certain.

“Just send it” he groans from what you assume is an attack on him. Your brow raises. “Send him a screenshot of the notification. If he doesn’t respond go on it on your own.”

“Or take me with you” he whispers. If it came to it, would you even choose jimin to go with? Probably. He’d help make it fun.

You sigh, still in the darkest of analysis. It’s your best option what else could you say. So, you say your goodbye to jimin who is quick to go off to his game, without a second thought. Rude. Talking to him whilst he’s on his game is setting yourself up.

Back to having a staring contest with your phone. And after a long while of panic, thump fidgeting and dry eyes, you click on his contact (yes you still have it.) and just send the screenshot.

As you wait to make sure the picture is sent you catch a glimpse of the last text from your chat. You were avoiding slipping up and seeing it, but your eyes couldn’t be helped.

Jungkook was the last to text.

Kookie<3: I miss you call me back.

Seeing the text makes your stomach churn. Makes your head spin with all the memories and emotions returning. You don’t want to linger on it. You’re quick to just sending the screenshot like jimin said, you only hope he doesn’t ask too many questions. If he does respond. The little thought in your head surfaces. What if he wants nothing to do with you. What if you’re bothering him? You shouldn’t have sent that text. But it’s too late now.

You’re well aware his message was sent before you had broken up. The only reason you hadn’t replied was because you couldn’t. On the same day you’d called him back and told him how you didn’t think you’d be able to do it anymore.

“Mm?” he hums confused. You can hear it in his voice and it only makes you even more nervous to repeat.

“This long-distance thing isn’t working for us jungkook.” You bite you lower lip hoping to hide some of your emotions that threaten to ruin your speech. Your fingers fidget in the silence waiting for his response. But it never comes and for a moment you think he’s cut the call and you’ve been talking to yourself. That’s when he sighs, showing you, he’s been listening but too shocked to speak.

You calling his full name, no nickname, strains at his heart. “Are you serious?” it’s calm, sad even. Of course he’s sad, you’re breaking up with him. Sad isn’t even strong enough to describe what he’s feeling. Shock is just amongst them, maybe even a little anger. You’ve been going through a challenging period because of the difference in cities. But he never thought it’d come to this. Was it that bad?

“Yeah.” It’s weak defeated. You are, your whole relationship is.

Jungkook is awfully silent, he’s not sure why either. “Is there anything I can do?” he’s aware of the only solution available. But it’s not possible. Neither of your work will allow the other to move.

You shake your head like he can see it. but he doesn’t need to see what your silence has already said.

After not much thought cause he’s not able to, he speaks. “Is this what you want?” his question only serves to add to your confusion.

“You know it’s not but- “you try to speak but the lump in your throat chokes you.

It hurts him that this is happening over a call. Wishes he could’ve spoken about it in person, cause there’s more to it.

More that you haven’t spoken about. Never have, and doubt you ever will or want to.

All this just makes the idea of this trip even more worrying. That’s if he’ll want to go or even respond. You never got to know what he thought but you assume he has some sort of resentment for the way you ended things. You would too. That’s one of the things you feel guilty for.

You’ll say the way things ended was not ideal, and honestly it never made you feel good as you thought it would. It made you feel worse actually. But at least now you don’t argue because you don’t talk. Who are you kidding, you miss the arguments, something to remind he was there.

Guilt hovers but, you console yourself by saying that he probably wanted it too if he didn’t try to fight for it. Which is unfair, but what else can you tell yourself as an excuse.

Your focus is now on your screen. You’re about to exit the chat, but then those familiar popups of bubbles appear. Already?

The bubbles disappear and appear, which only serves to grow your anxiety. Is he about to rebuke you for texting him. Gosh, what the hell would you say after that? He’s about to cuss you out. Suddenly your room feels too small to hold you and what you’re feeling.

But what pops up is even more anxiety inducing.

Kookie<3: I’m in town. We should meet and talk tomorrow.

Why does he sound so professional? Why do you care. Oh- your mind, it’s spinning.

He’s in town, when? Why didn’t he tell you. This would be the first time you see him in a year since he moved. And he couldn’t even just tell you he was in town. The reason to him being here is not unknown to you. It’s the Christmas season and his parents do live in the same city as you. And just like you they were not happy about they’re son moving so far away. But nothing was stopping jungkook. Nothing.

You’re probably not important to him anymore but, couldn’t he have just said, hi. I’m in town. How long has he even been here for? You never thought he’d return to the city even for the holidays.

You shake the thoughts out of your head. You can’t be over thinking this.

We?......meet?.....talk?.....TOMORROW!              

Tomorrow couldn’t come any faster (not that you were excited for it.). It’s almost as though it wants you and jungkook to meet.

You both agreed to meet at one of the small restaurants near your place. One you two frequented together, so it holds so much for you. Which only made you more anxious on your way.

When you walked in your eyes unconsciously moved to the table you and jungkook loved to seat at. It was good distance from the kitchen so your food could reach you quicker, and far from others so that jungkook could lean in and say the nastiest thing on earth. It always made you blush even though you’d swat at him. You spot jungkook sat where he usually sat. Coat taken off and hanged on his chair.

 “Hey.” You choke out smiling politely as you reach the table and take off your coat, the inside of the restaurant too warm to be comfortable with it on.

You take a sit and allow your body to get accustomed to the environment. And jungkook.

He’s quick to respond to your greeting just as awkward.

When you’re settled you finally get a chance to see just how much he’s changed in a year. The warm light from the ceiling softens his features which would normally be sharp in the dim lights of your bedroom. His hair is cut short. Last time you saw him it was neck length, but now it’s significantly short. Makes him look professional, mature. You like it, really like it. you wish you could just reach over and touch it, it’d probably be just as soft as you remember it and smell like lavender. You notice how he has it styled and gelled back so you doubt he’d be happy with you running your hands in it.

Jungkook spent an ungodly amount of time trying to get it to look like this, which he doesn’t think is perfect enough, but he was running out of time. Something about this meeting had him wanting to go out. He just hopes you like it. he remembers you last saw it when it was longer. It was a big cut, but after your breakup, he felt like giving up the length, considering your hands loved to live in his hair.

You sit hand in lap waiting for your mouth to catch up with how fast your brain is working. Though if you did speak what your brain was thinking, you’d embarrass yourself.

“We should order first.” He says rolling up the sleeves of his navy-blue denim shirt. The action reminding of the inks on his arm. A detail that adds to how attractive he is already. You’re really hating yourself for your thoughts. In your defence you haven’t seen him in the flesh for a year. “What do you wanna get?” he picks up his menu and you do too, stuttering in your movement. He seems calmer than you right now.

But the only thing is that he’s shitting himself inside. when he was sat before you came, his heart dropped every time he heard the door bells chime. Every time he turned it wasn’t you. Only increasing his nervousness. Maybe he was a little to forward with his message. You haven’t seen each other in a while and it’d probably be overwhelming, especially with a certain elephant in the room. He would’ve definitely understood if you didn’t want to show. On the chime of the door that followed his thoughts, he didn’t turn, only for it to be you. In your full glory, making him fidget with his phone more. Which he put aside immediately you sat down.

Clearing your throat you speak, “something soup-y. Today’s a little cold.” And you don’t feel like throwing up what you eat.

Jungkook agrees and his red nose is evidence of that. Cute, you think.

After your orders are taken you turn back to silence. What could you probably say right now? You can feel the distance between you emotionally. And you hate how this is how you are after not seeing each other for a year. Before breaking up you thought of the many ways, you’d hug him once you got to see him. You were definitely delusional over how serious your distance was. Really wanting to believe it wouldn’t be a problem; until it became one, and you just couldn’t do it anymore.

You don’t know how to behave right now.

“So, when did you get back?” you settle on a soft and casual tone.

“Just yesterday.” He speaks sounding a little hesitant. After not knowing where to look you decide to just look at one thing. The table.

After beats of silence, you continue. Can your food come any faster? “you’re staying with your parents?”

“Yeah.”

You lived together, in your used to be shared apartment before he decided to move. So, his only option was to live with his parents for the mean time. He assumed you wouldn’t want or even let him live with you. And it would be fair, you aren’t together anymore.

“I’m Sure they were shocked to see how much you’ve change.” Cause you are. You haven’t seen his parents in the same time that he hasn’t seen them.

“It was a surprise drop in so I’m sure they were” he says with weak chuckle. He bites into his lip before he’s looking at you again, but you don’t stare at him. It’s only when you realize his stare that you finally face him. “How have you been? You look well.” He’s dreading himself right now for not being able to speak to someone who has been, for 3 years, the only person he could speak to.

You do look good, and he can’t take his mind off it. the camera has not been doing you justice. Your skin looks brighter and you generally are just glowing. Gosh he missed looking at you. The way small dainty jewellery serves to compliment your outfit. Your hair done in a way you like, and he loves.

“I try.” You smile. Every chance you get you take a glace at his lip piercing. You’d forgotten just how it made him even the more--. “You look well too. How’s the job going?”

He sucks in a breath, showing visible stress at the thought of his job. “it’s going okay. Easiest way to put it.” he chuckles, awkwardly. You smile, awkwardly too. “I missed it here though, so much stuff I left behind.”

You just hum, nodding. Avoiding how his eyes glancing over you, just for a second as he was looking for where to keep his gaze whilst speaking.

“But I’m sure you’re having fun that side.” That side. He can hear the strength you put on the words. Instead of fiddling on your lap you decide to fold your arms on your chest. Finding it appropriate for the feelings that are sneaking in.

“You can say that, but there’s just something that feels empty y’know.” You do know, but you both choose to leave the conversation implicit.

And right on time, your food arrives saving you from saying anything. What the heck would you say when you can’t even think.

You two are soon digging into your food. Jungkook in his kimchi jjigae and you in yours.

“I missed this- mmm.” He hums making that little angry face he makes when he likes food. You laugh, a little to loud at that causing him to look up at you. You drop your smile.

“Mrs Kim always asks me about you when I come here.” 6 slices of chopped spring onion garnish you haven’t eaten, yet.

He leans back in his chair, unintentionally watching you eat.

He turns his head towards the kitchen where the lady in question usually spends her time. “Where is she anyways?” he’s back to digging into his food. the steam from the food warming his cold nose.

“she’s visiting sung Hoon in the US.” You inform him, taking in how relaxed you’ve become.

He nods at the info, “Ahh- she finally got to got to the US?” he smiles. He remembers how she would come to the table; she’d complain that her son doesn’t want her to visit, which was not the case. But being the dramatic lady she is, she would think that. “ ’m sure she was so excited.”

“no one could hear the end of it.”

He chuckles and you find yourself laughing too. But as much as you’re seemingly getting comfortable (though not wholly.) silence finds a way to wrap it’s long, cold and slimy finger around you two.

After you’re done eating your meals in silence, jungkook thinks it’s time to discuss the reason you’re even meeting. Cause you have nothing more to talk about.

“what’s the plan for the trip?” he shifts in his seat. “Assuming you’d want to go.” He doubts.

You take a deep breath before speaking, looking over at the whole scene of the restaurant. “I don’t know, we’d leave on Thursday. Assuming you’d want to go too.” You would want to go, that’s why you booked the trip. It’s only your situation that makes it awkward.

“Do you?” his question comes out fast and sudden and he regrets how quick it came out.

“Mm?” you mutter like you couldn’t hear what he said.

He clarifies choosing to speak more calmly and composed. “Do you want to go?”

The question takes you aback as though you hadn’t been asking yourself the same thing.

Reaching to play with the little gem on your necklace you stutter out. “I-I mean- yeah we spent money on it.” you shrug your shoulders as if you’re unconsciously saying otherwise, but really, you’re just trying to keep your statement open. In case he doesn’t want to go, and you’re left embarrassed with an extra ticket.

Jungkook instead takes your action as you probably not wanting to go. “I get it if you don’t. It’s a weird situation.” His hands move to touching his hair.

You trying to jump in but end up speaking a little too fast. “No, I do. Plus, I hate wasting money.” You do hate wasting money, truly. And it is just that and the fact that you would love a trip right now, to de-stress.

“But do you want to go with me?” that churning feeling in your stomach is returning, and you’ve just eaten which makes it all the much better.

Biting down on your lip and releasing it you say, “I mean I wouldn’t want to go on my own.” You hate how you feel your throat choking up. “Who else would I go with?” you awkwardly joke. There are some people you’d go with. But you planned this trip with jungkook and he paid the much for the tickets. So, it’s only fair to go with him. If he wants to.

He skips your question, not in bad taste. it’d be weird for you to go on a trip you planned with him with someone else. Maybe he did think of it, that maybe you’d enjoy it more if you weren’t with him. But then he thought it through. Shit doesn’t have to be awkward unless you both make it. so, you can enjoy this trip if you just agree to enjoy it. “I don’t mind going with you, but I don’t want you to feel forced to have me there.”

“I have no problem with you, jungkook.” You saying his name even though it’s not the pet name he enjoys feels like a warm touch to him. “I just want to know if you wanna go.” You find it in you to ask.

“I don’t mind it at all.” He says, relieving you of your fears.

He sighs. After he silence speaks. “I can’t believe I forgot about it. I was so excited for it too.” he reminiscing on the day. It was such a good idea. Is a good idea, if you just agree to enjoy it.

“So? It’s settled right?“ You sit up grabbing your stuff and preparing to leave. Jungkook’s smile falls realizing that the moment is ending. But he will see you soon still.

“Yeah.” He prepares to leave too.

“We leave Thursday, I guess. We’ll stay in touch.”

And that’s it, your conversation ends with you managing to avoid the larger topic at hand. It’s like a game.

You throw your clothes in haphazardly. You’re in a panic, which is not necessary cause you have enough time, the whole day to be precise. Your flight’s tomorrow. But the whole airport thing has always found a way to make you panic.

You grab some essentials, but in frustration. Maybe you just want to get it over with. The packing, not the trip. Honestly it feels like it’s already started. Is this how you’re going to be.

As you search through your closet you land on a sweater, one you remember too well. It’s green colour and fluffy soft texture makes it the warmest thing you own. A very memorable sweater, for the warmth it brought you and its origin. You can still smell him on it. You dread packing it and resort to shoving it further in your closet. You’ll think about it.

You stare at your zipped up suitcase for a bit before your eyes gloss over to your phone that buzzes on your bed. For a split second you wonder if it’s jungkook. Could he have changed his mind. you sigh relived when you see it’s just jimin.

Who chooses to say nothing of value and just tease you. “Honestly why do I tell him these things.” You throw your phone on your bed.

Jungkook stands over his already packed suitcase. He just has to zip it closed and seal this trip. He sighs rubbing his lower lip. Before you two broke up he had so much planned for this trip. So much he wanted to say and do. But it's different now and it’d be weird and wrong to say those things. Not before talking of course.

Is he looking forward to this trip? Yes-wait- maybe. The trip in itself is fine, a great and good idea and opportunity to enjoy a holiday and relax. But your presence entails something more something he has to deal with (in a responsible and good way) and that he's been running away from.

 "You're excited huh?" his mother smiles leaning against his door frame, watching. He's not sure what about his facial expression, body language or general demeanour would make her think that he's excited. It’s not like he’s dreading or regretting it. it’s more like excitement is the last thing he’s feeling cause of all he’s thinking of.

He doesn't say anything before she's speaking again.

"You need this trip. you've been so busy." He has. Too much at that. So much that he forgot you two had even broken up and was about to go to your place first when he arrived. He’d been so excited to surprise you, then it dawned on him. His tires were quick to turning. His thoughts are cut short by his mother. "it'll help you spend more time with yn."

"I guess." he replies unenthusiastically. Though it’s the same idea they’re both thinking of it in a different context. Something that his mother doesn’t know yet.

He doesn't stare at where she stands only at his suitcase analysing what he's packed and what the heck is actually going on. "Plus, it would be a perfect place to propose." She enthuses, joyous at the thought. He seems to have slightly forgotten about that detail too.

 When you were planning the trip, he made a plan to propose to you on it. It honestly is the perfect place to and he felt like it was the right time. Of course, you'd be arguing but it wasn't something that was holding back your relationship. Plus, he thought you'd talked it out well enough. So, he spent his free time after planning the trip, shopping for rings and looking proposal ideas and even asked some of his colleagues for advice. It’d be a trip where you got to spend some time after being away for so long.

But that's when you called and honestly kicked him in the balls. Too confused he just went along with it.

"Switzerland is such a good choice, you kids are so good at these things." She says probably imaging herself there too.  It’s not long before his eyes are staring at the black velvet box on his dressing table, and his head is spinning all over again. He knows how excited she gets about this and she won’t stop. “You could take a walk and then pull out the Ring with those mountains in the back and-"

"Eomma!" His deep voice stops her, not harshly but whiny. Not telling his parents about the breakup is honestly the most overwhelming thing because of how his mother adores you and finds a way to bring you up in every conversation. she could go on but the tired look on her son's face makes her stop. She wants to pry on why he looks more drained that ecstatic but she chooses against it.

”Is something wrong?”

He realizes just how carried away he’s getting with his emotions. He shakes his head. “no. I’m just stressed.” He finally looks up at her to give a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes but she returns.

"Sorry, you know how I get carried away. I'm sure you have your own plan let me not stress you."

She leaves and he sighs

No. He has no plan of his own. He has no plan at all.

Your suitcase handle is firmly clutched into your hand as you walk into the airport.

Your eyes scan the crowd. Every face. Each bag too, because you know which one he'd probably be carrying with him. Seeing it again is gonna be triggering cause the last time you saw it was the last time you saw him off.

You and jungkook agreed to come separately and since his parents lived closer to the airport he'd be here first and wait for you by security. But now that you're there you can't see him. Maybe he's a little late but why wouldn't he tell you.

You told him you had just arrived but he hasn't even seen that message. Has he changed his mind? is the first thing that pops up in your head. If he has that's a shitty way to do it. Just ghost you?

So, you pull out your phone to call him. “Pick up." You mutter under your breath.

No answer.

You feel stupid. It honestly feels like you're on a Lifetime show or even worse TLC.

Your annoyance bubbles over as you glance around the busy security area. "Where is he?" you ask yourself.

 Though you think he has, you doubt jungkook would just ghost you. It's not what you know him to be. You tap your foot impatiently and try to call him again. Still nothing. Your heart finally relaxes when you spot him already walking to you. "Seriously?" You say a little upset when he finally reaches. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Oh. I didn't hear it." He says pulling it out of his pocket. "Must be on silent. I’m sorry." He looks at you genuinely so. And you can’t bring yourself to be as mad as you want to be. It’s not a big deal, he’s here now.

“it’s okay, we should get going, we’re almost late.” You say frustrated with how traffic delayed your arrival. Jungkook just hums agreeing and surprising you by taking you suitcase. You’d tell him it’s fine and you can manage but he’s already walking ahead of you. Probably not wanting to hear it.

A tense silence stretches between you two as you wait to board your plane. Sitting side by side has never felt so awkward, like the space between you is miles wide. You scroll through your phone, pretending to be so into it. You don’t notice Jungkook stealing occasional glances at you. Or rather, at the sweater you’re wearing—the one he gave you (more like you took.) just before he moved to another town. The green complimenting your skin. He loves how it just melts to fit you. He’s glad to know that you’re warm, he’s aware of how incredibly warm it is.

He wonders if you’re wearing it deliberately, or if it’s just because it’s the warmest thing you own, and today’s even colder than yesterday. Probably no meaning behind it. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Though it’s not enough to stop him from developing a smile on his face, one he covers with his hand.

The low hum of voices and the faint crackle of the airport announcements fill the silence. Someone walks past, dragging a squeaky suitcase, the airport noises the only thing between the two of you.

“I know this is awkward.” He starts randomly, at first doubting he was talking to you but then you move your attention to him, when you realize it’s only you he can be talking to. It’s not like you were looking at anything on your phone. “I want us to enjoy it. I want you to enjoy it.”

“I want you to enjoy it too.” You find yourself speaking before your brain can process.

He smiles and turns to meet your eyes. All of a sudden, he feels so close. “So can we just pretend.” His eyes don’t move, if possible, they stare even deeper into yours. Yours don’t move as well. “Pretend like everything’s okay.” He speaks low as if he doesn’t want others around to hear. “Agree?”

You haven’t said much, instead just let him speak. “Agreed.”

You don’t mind pretending. You’ve been pretending you’re okay all this time, so why can’t you do it now.

-

You watch Jungkook sliding the bags into the overhead storage above your seats. He notices you approaching and nods for you to have the window seat.

“You sure?” you ask only because he called dibs when you planned the trip that he’d be getting the window seat.

He nods. “Yeah. I know you like it more than I do.” You do. He only called dibs because he was trying to ‘one up’ you like everything’s a game.

You squeeze passed him get comfortable in your seat and he’s soon sitting next to you. You’re glad it’s just two seats.

You sit in silence for most of the flight, each pretending to be too absorbed in your own activities to notice the other. Jungkook watches you out of the corner of his eye as you scroll through your phone, then switch to reading a book. This trip can’t be that bad, you tell yourself. Of course, you two haven’t talked about your breakup, but it doesn’t have to come up. You’ll just enjoy the weekend and go back to normal, like he said—pretend---if either of you even knows what that means.

What are the boundaries of pretending.

At some point, you shift in your seat, leaning against him, your head resting on his shoulder. You’re asleep, of course, but Jungkook glances down at you, momentarily startled. He considers waking you but decides against it. Instead, he leans back slightly, letting you stay there.

As the plane hums softly and moves through the sky, Jungkook can’t help but wonder if this trip could be his chance to fix things. How does he want it to happen? Does he even know? All he knows it that you do eventually have to talk about things. Do you even want to talk about it, because you seem to be avoiding it.

But there’s only so much avoiding you can do.

As soon as the plane lands, you stretch in your seat, surprised you managed to sleep for that long. Glancing at Jungkook, you watch as he pulls the luggage from the overhead bin. He looks like he didn’t get any sleep at all, you had been sleeping on his shoulder for most of the time. You exchange a brief look—just acknowledging each other and your present moment—before heading off the plane

The crisp Swiss air hits you as you step outside the terminal, and you follow Jungkook as he gets into a cab and it drives confidently toward a car rental area, which you’re confused about but don’t ask. Jungkook picks up keys from the reception and you walk through the parkin lot looking for what you don’t know. You’re just following. You stare at him puzzled as he dangles the keys. He’s been quiet, and you hadn’t even expected to rent a car. Public transport seemed like the plan, but now that you think about it, you remember how Jungkook feels about it.

“You rented a car?” you raise a brow.

He nods, “yeah, it’d be easier. Thought you’d approve.”

He catches a glance of your face, like you’re trying to figure something out, but can’t.

“Hmm.” You only hum.

“You look cute when you’re confused”.  He takes you by surprise. “Come on.” He says walking and not letting you process his words. You just try to shake them out of your head.

You don’t admit it, but you're impressed. He thought ahead. And you’re honestly glad he did—something you feel he’s been lacking the past year.

Once he’s done packing the luggage into the car, he closes the trunk and slides into the driver’s seat. You’re not sure why you’re shocked to find out it’s a Mercedes-benz g63 amg. You’d always known he had an obsession with luxury cars, especially ones like this. The fact that his job pays so well certainly helps, you guess moving out of town must’ve been worth it.

The car is great-- so comfortable, and the heater works perfectly, keeping you warm against the cold.

As Jungkook adjusts the mirrors, you scroll through your contacts, trying to figure out what to call the person you booked the cabin with, “what do I call them a host?” You mutter under your breath before dialling the number.

Jungkook glances at you as you speak to the host in quick tones. "Got it, thanks," you say, giving a quick wave of your phone toward Jungkook. With the directions noted you can now get to moving.

"Okay, so we head north, then take-“

“North?" Jungkook interrupts, starting the engine. "Are you sure it's not west or whatever?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You glare at him. He glances at one map and thinks he knows his way around Switzerland.

"I just talked to the guy," you say flatly.

Jungkook smirks, recalling a past trip. "Remember last time we travelled, and we ended up on a dead-end street?" he says with a cheeky smile on his face. he’s teasing you.

You roll your eyes at the memory. You had been driving through the outskirts, and your GPS got wonky, causing you to go down a deserted road.

“If you’d listened to me, we wouldn’t have gotten lost,” you reply.

You stop bickering, finally following the GPS. Jungkook decides to follow the directions, and the tension eases as you leave the city behind.

The atmosphere shifts, replaced by a sense of awe at the breathtaking scenery. Low-capped mountains stretch into the horizon, Swiss chalets dot the landscape, and the sun reflects off the lakes. You’re glad you arrived during the day; cause nighttime would not have done the view justice.

You watch out the window, your voice filled with awe. "Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful." Jungkook glances at your direction before returning his attention to the road. "Yeah, it is," he agrees, equally mesmerized by the view.

"Can you grab my camera from the back?" he askes. Recalling his passion for photography, you can’t be surprised he has it with him.

You pull out the camera from his bag, noticing it’s larger and more expensive looking than the one you had gifted him. "Do you still have your other one?" you’re curious.

He knows what you’re hinting to. "It fell in water during a fishing trip with my team, but I'm getting it fixed."

“Do you still have the pictures.” You’d hate to lose them, even though they are null and void now, you still like how happy you looked in them.

“Yeah. They’re in my SD.” He informs you and you’re glad.

You fumble with the new camera, struggling to operate its buttons, he notices. "There's a button just there," he directs. Though you aren’t much of a photographer, you manage to snap some decent shots of the scene. You take a lot to make sure you have options.

Feeling playful, you turn the camera to jungkook and snap a pic of him. You had always admired his model-like features and often joked he should pursue modelling instead of his current path, which kept him 218 miles away. But now you realize modelling would only take him even farther.

He never agreed to the idea but never argued either. He preferred to appreciate beauty rather than be the centre of attention.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" he asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Yeah, just one," you reply.

He doesn’t respond, leaving you to wonder what he’s thinking. Is he upset? Did you cross a pretending line?

"Wanna stop and take pictures," he grins, "y’know for your Instagram."

It’s not a bad idea, but you don’t want to be late and have the host waiting for too long.

"We won't be long." he looks over to see if you’re considering. He smiles when sees that you are. You don't post much on Instagram, and he knows that. But it wouldn't hurt to have some pictures from this trip.

"Let's be quick," you accept.

He pulls over to the side of the road and when you’re out he’s approaching you to take the camera. "Let me take some of you first," you insist. He isn’t so keen on it though.

"Just a few," you whine dodging him trying to take it from your hands.

"We're supposed to be quick." He reminds you. "And you know I'm not a fan of pictures of me."

 You not wanting to bicker. You hand it over to him. "But I will take pictures of you eventually," it’s a promise.

You quickly get posing on a spot you like, and he snaps several pictures. Some you were prepared for, while others were candid of you looking up a bird flying over, like you’ve never seen a bird before. or just in awe of the scene behind. Why do the birds seem so majestic here?

Jungkook smiles as he continues to take photos, forgetting the time. "I think that's enough. We're going to be late," you say, running out of poses to do.

You start walking to the car and he snaps one more picture of the scene before getting back and starting the car.  Whilst adjusting to the warmth he hands you the camera.

"These are so pretty," you bulge your eyes out at how good jungkook is at taking pictures. You can definitely see the difference. Jungkook can’t help but feel a sense of pride. You scroll through the camera, admiring more pictures.

Then you scroll a little too far and notice a series of photos featuring a friend—someone he seems to be close to. In one, she leans on his shoulder, a gesture that causes some type of discomfort or irritation. You couldn’t be sure, you’re too busy scrolling. She smiles too hard, you judge.

gosh you're pathetic. Why are you acting like this. The man is not your boyfriend he can do whatever. The statement causes an unwanted sour taste to form over your taste buds.

You continue to scroll, analysing the photos, each one deepening your insecurities.

"Careful, you're gonna damage the buttons," Jungkook jokes when he notices your rushed movement. He wonders what has you that way.

When he speaks, you’re brought back to reality. Though you’re brought back with an attitude. You switch off the device and lay it back where you found it, sitting back down with a scowl on your face and jungkook wonders the cause.

You had been fine just a moment ago. He doesn’t say anything and focuses fully on the road ahead. The silent drive to the cabin feels anything but aesthetic.

You sigh as the car slows, leaving behind the snow-covered path. When you approach the cabin, it’s instantly recognizable from the photo. At least you weren’t lost or scammed. The place looks serene. It’s blanketed in snow. It’s not like those huge family ones. It’s small just to fit you and jungkook. You’d have no money to buy anything or activities if you booked those larger ones. And they’re unnecessary cause it’s just the two of you.

Jungkook parks the car, and as you both step out, the awkwardness that’s shadowed the trip returns. It had been there from the beginning, lingering beneath exchanges and strained silences. Brief moments, like taking pictures earlier, had been relieving, but even that had soured quickly. Now, neither of you had much to say.

The cabin’s host, a kind older man with a thick Swiss accent, greets you warmly, showing you around the cozy interior and pointing out the back patio before leaving. Once alone, you both quietly bring in the luggage. The silence is deafening, broken only by the crunch of snow you step on.

Due to your irritation that some how still lingered you step a little too hard on the icy ground, and in an instant, your foot slips. You land awkwardly in a mix of snow and dirt, the impact cushioned but still hurting.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook calls, his voice tinged with concern and amusement. He’d drop the luggage to come check on you if you hadn’t brushed him away with your hand.

Still irritated, now cause of the fall, you dust yourself off and move yourself inside. You drop the luggage in bedroom and start taking off your sweater, only to have Jungkook walk in moments later.

“One bed,” he states, looking at the large, centred piece of furniture. “Looks comfy.” You seem to have forgotten the cabin was lover’s themed, so it did only have one bed. The host had asked you if it was a problem when he saw the look on your face but you just brushed it away at you being tired.

You glance at the bed, then at him. “Yeah. Guess you’ll have to take the couch,” you joke, though your tone comes out flatter than intended.

“Nope.” He flops onto the bed, which creaks under his weight, making him pause to check if it’s broken. When it holds, he relaxes. “I’m sleeping right here.”

You sigh, deciding it’s not worth arguing. You’ve shared a bed before—it shouldn’t be a big deal so many times at that. But those times are not now and you have to deal with your new circumstance.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” you announce, expecting him to leave the room. Instead, he sprawls comfortably on the bed.

“Knock yourself out,” he replies casually.

Groaning, you grab your toiletries and head to the bathroom. The hot water feels like a gift, relaxing your tense muscles. If only the whole trip could feel this peaceful.

When you return, Jungkook is gone, though his shoes by the door confirm he hasn’t gone far. You search through your suitcase for a sweater, only to realize you packed just one sweater—the one now wet and dirty. Frustration bubbles as you grab a thin, long-sleeved shirt. It’ll have to do, though you doubt it’ll keep you warm in tomorrow’s outdoor activities.

Meanwhile, Jungkook in the kitchen has immersed himself in exploring the layout of it. whilst on his expedition his attention drifts to a tiny blue bird minding its business outside the window. He leans into it but carefully not to scare it away. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to find him a bother. “Got any advice for me?” he murmurs, taking a peek behind him. The bird doesn’t react, oblivious to his internal conflict. He’s unsure—about you, about himself, about what this trip is supposed to accomplish.

When you enter the kitchen and done talking to his new friend who doesn’t present him with anything viable but his company, he’s quick to point out the lack of groceries. “We should go shopping. It’s on your itinerary, right?” he teases lightly.

You nod, unsurprised he remembers. You’d always been the planner, the one who thought of everything. Maybe that’s why the breakup hurt so much—it came so suddenly, leaving no time to plan how to feel or move on.

As he’s about to suggest leaving immediately, he notices you rubbing your arms. “Aren’t you cold?” he asks, gesturing to your thin shirt.

“I’m fine,” you reply dismissively, though you clearly aren’t.

“Put on a sweater before you get sick,” he insists. His boyfriend instincts linger, even now.

You hesitate but eventually admit, “I forgot to pack an extra one.” The way how stares at you is so embarrassing for you.

Jungkook chuckles softly, though not unkindly. “Of course you did.” You roll your eyes. He moves to grab a sweater from his suitcase and hands it to you. “Here. Borrow this.”

You take it, the faint scent of his cologne that seems to be on everything he wears no matter how much he washes, invaded your senses. “Thanks,” you say quietly, slipping it on and hoping not to ruin this one too.

By the time you return from the store, exhaustion settles in. You both sit in the living room, cups of hot cocoa in hand. Jungkook flips through the channels while you sit quietly, the warmth of his sweater and the fire calming you.

“You’ve made a lot of friends in Jeju,” you say suddenly, your tone sharper than intended.

Jungkook pauses, confused. “What friends?”

“Colleagues, maybe? Customers? I saw the pictures on your camera,” you admit, staring into your cup instead of at him.

He leans back, waiting. He knows what you’re referring to and could explain that the woman in the photos was a client a little too excited and touchy about her wedding rehearsal photos, and had wanted photos with him. But he wants you to ask.

Instead, the silence stretches, filled with unspoken questions—questions about Jeju, the photos, the breakup, and even yourself. You sigh, pushing them aside.

“is there something you wanna ask?”

“There’s nothing I want to ask,” you finally say, though the bitterness in your voice betrays the truth.

Jungkook laughs softly, shaking his head. “I thought we agreed on pretending.” His voice is still soft.

“I know. Just don’t want you pretending if you’ve got other things going on.”

Jungkook chuckles taking a sip of his cocoa.” I’m good.”

“I’m good too.”

“Good.”

You watch him stand a sly smirk adoring his face. “let’s go back to pretending now, okay?” he says looking at you.

You mumble a sure and he walks off. Probably to sleep.

Sleeping the same bed is even more awkward. After spending some minutes you’d decide you were too tired to be awake, you came the bedroom.

Jungkook was still awake staring at his phone, and for some reason shirtless. He likes to sleep shirtless and the tension between you two isn’t going to stop him.

Jungkook tries to keep his eyes to himself as you change into your pajamas. You didn’t want to be childish so you just changed right there. It’s nothing he’s never seen before. He won’t act like the action doesn’t cause a rise in memories and he holds himself to not thinking further. Soon you’re crawling into your side and laying facing away from him. Jungkook chooses to lie on his back, the bed big enough for you to keep your distance. He turns off the lights but your eyes remain open staring into the dark.

As the night continues, none of you are able to fall asleep. Jungkook tries to make himself comfortable, his shifting cause you to think he might be moving closer, but he doesn’t. why do you feel sad. Your brain is used to being close to him and him holding you in situations like this. And he too is used to wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer into him. But there’s none of that.

“I can’t fucking sleep.” he groans frustratedly sitting up. He runs his hands in his hair. He looks over at you thinking you’re asleep, the darkness preventing him from actually knowing. He’s jealous at the idea of you being able to sleep, but when your frustrated voice sounds, he’s relieved. Relieved that he’s not the only not able to sleep.

“Same.” You mutter remaining on your side.

Jungkook huffs and puffs contemplating on asking what he’d been debating. Your bodies are probably used to sleeping closer to each other, so maybe that’s’ why it’s hard. You surely won’t mind if it means you get to sleep right?

He looks over to you and how far you seem from. He doesn’t like, hates the reality of it. “Can I sleep closer to you.” His words and the fact that he actually said takes you aback. You freeze. Your silence is killing him, he shouldn’t have said it. he should take it back, well—but he’s already sai-

“Okay.” Okay? Well, that was easy, he thought you’d be looking at him weird. but no, you just lay on your side waiting for him.

When he said closer you never thought he meant this close. You’re the closest you can be. But you don’t mind it, it actually brings you that giddy feeling, like it’s your first time cuddling. You realize just how much you missed it. He nuzzles his face in your neck and this is when he’d kiss your shoulder and neck but he doesn’t and the detail is gravely missed. He has to hold himself from not doing it.

“We’re going to move to the middle of the bed, darling.” It’s only then that you realize how much at the edge you were. You shuffle yourselves and move into the center and get comfortable in the position.

“Are you comfortable?”

So much you hate to say it. You can’t even bring yourself to be angry. “y-yeah.” You can barely respond coherently with how his voice is so close sending goosebumps all over you.

“Can I put my around you? It’s the only place I can put it.” he tries to explain, but you were actually hoping for it.

You nod for him to go ahead and he wraps his arm around you. Honestly, he should’ve just asked if he could cuddle you, because this is basically what you’re doing. He didn’t have to mask it; you’d have said yes either way. He doesn’t know that though.

Now that you’re close to him and him to you, you both weirdly fall asleep, very quickly at that.

First thing on your itinerary was to visit the Lindt home of chocolate you’d been drooling at the thought of it since you planned this trip. It would honestly be a crime to visit Switzerland and not visit the Lindt factory. Being a lover of chocolate no activity on your list will be as good as this.

“I don’t know why they have us putting our bags away.” Jungkook whines taking off his jacket, as required and placing it in a locker. “How am I supposed to carry my chocolate.” His speech is almost childlike. You just chuckle.

 ” That’s why they do it.” You inform him, with a soft smile and start to walk ahead of him. Jungkook walks behind you, watching how you look around with wonder.

Did he mention how good he feels right now. The sleep he had last night was the best he’s had in a while. And it only serves to tell him how much he’s missed your presence. Just you as a whole. Being away from you for so long has had an effect on him too. It’s only now, that he’s not able to do all the things he used to do, that he realizes how much he’s missed it. And how much you mean to him.

“Oh my gosh.” Jungkook watches how you take in the aroma of chocolate. It invades his senses and when you’re turning around to check on him, he’s nodding. You want him to enjoy this just as you are.

You gasp and it’s when you spot the huge chocolate fountain that you pull Jungkook’s attention to it by his arm. “it’s so fucking huge.” You say still holding onto him.

“that’s what she said.”

You roll your eyes. “Grow up.” You both laugh. and it’s when you’re lost in laughter and admiring the fountain that jungkook looks down to see you still holding his arm. So, in a swift action of no thought, all instinct he moves to hold your hand.

Your head sharply moves to look at him then at his hand holding yours and then back up at him. He’s got this innocent smile on his face and you can’t help but warm up into his hold. You don’t mind the action of holding hands but you fear what it implies. Is he for real or still pretending?

For the first minutes you stay holding hands, until jungkook is pulling away to grab his camera. You rub you hands together to try and regain your sense of independence. What the heck are you doing, holding hands? This pretending thing Is a good idea, but it’s definitely messing with you in some way. All ways. He’s giving you things that you’ve been craving. The cuddle at night, the holding hands, you’ve missed it all. But you don’t know where it’s coming from, does he miss you too or is he pretending. To think of it you never really discussed what type of pretending you’re doing. Are you pretending to still be together or are you pretending to be good friends. Gosh this is so stressful. And confusing. You wonder if he’s stressing like you are. He seems calm. He’s handling this so well.

“Wait—I need a picture of you. Stand still.” He points the camera to you and you’re quick to turning your head away.

“it’s fine you don’t need to-” snap.

He doesn’t give you the time to object and just snaps. “Jungkook stop taking pictures of me.” He doesn’t. you’re embarrassed to be doing this in public. But he seems thrilled. “Okay wait-” he doesn’t so you choose to reaching for the Lense. But jungkook doesn’t mind filling his storage with pictures of your palm. “Kook, wait.”

“Kook?” he questions smiling. You realize your mistake. Honestly you didn’t mean to call him that, it just came out naturally for you to get him to stop. And it worked. Though now it shifts the air.

You groan. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You roll your eyes. You don’t even know what you’re saying.

He doesn’t linger on it more, which honestly helps your case. The blush on your face is deserving of a picture. Snap.

“Stop that before I revoke your privileges.” You threaten. He doesn’t want that.

He raises his hands in surrender. “won’t do it again.”

You ignore him and turn to keep walking.

“Can take more later though?”

You don’t answer, but he takes it as a yes. You’ve always been his muse, it’s not gonna stop now. His camara is now getting some action.

This place is actually so beautiful, smells amazing too. The pictures you saw did not do it justice.

“Look at the strawberries, the nuts. Ah—I’m in heaven.”

Jungkook smiles as he watches enjoy and pointing for him to look at the large container, of everything that goes well with chocolate. He’s really just happy that you’re including him, by telling him how much you freaking love this place or how you want to stay here forever. It makes him feel like things aren’t all that bad between the two of you and it can be fixed.

“Why are you looking at me like that.” You narrow your eyes at him. Gosh he forgot how long he was looking for. You’d been telling him something but he zoned out.

“Oh-nothing.” He clears his throat.

You just brush it off, cause if you linger on it, you’ll melt. Jungkook looking at you has been a weakness for you, there’s just something about him focusing on you and having only you in sight. “Anyway, I was saying try this.”

He doesn’t regain his consciousness before you’re bringing a spoon full of chocolate to his lips. he takes it, tasting the sweetness of it.

He licks the chocolate off his lips when you pull away. “Mmm….so good.” You nod glad that he likes it. Though way he’s looking at you makes you think he might not be talking about the chocolate. You choose to ignore your thoughts with a cough.

As you go on you learn facts about chocolate and the factory and jungkook takes the pictures. When walking around you make sure to not forget to collect little pieces of chocolate from the dispensers. And it’s not long before your hands are getting full.

When your expedition is over, you’re returning to your bags to stuff them with your treasure.

“This is a lot of chocolate.” Jungkook states.

You shake your head. “it’s not that much.”

“Yeah of course an addict is telling me that.”

You gasp. “I’m not an addict.”

“Tell that to all the money I’ve spent buying you chocolate.” Money which it didn’t mind and loved spending.

“Honestly that’s all on you.” You say raising your hands. He chuckles.

Getting tired you both decide to go by the café inside the factory. Whilst there you both order some food to eat which is not chocolate, except you. For your beverage you picked to drink the famous hot cocoa. Which tastes like heaven made it themselves.

“How do I take this home with me?” you say motioning to your drink.

“Just stay.” He meant to say you both could just stay, but his tongue tripped.

You nod, thinking about it. “I could.” Moving to Switzerland and living here would be a dream. But unfortunately, things aren’t that easy. Finding a job would be hard, plus the language barrier would kill you.

“don’t.” he’s almost pleading. “I don’t know how I’d tell your family I lost you to Switzerland.” More like he doesn’t know how he’d fix things.

“Honestly it’s no competition.” You say in deep thought and analysis.

“What? you would leave me for Switzerland?” He says it not realizing causing you to chuckle. And when you look at him, he gets it.

The conversation doesn’t go farther after that. Jungkook just stays in his thought. When jungkook had made the decision to move. He honestly thought it wouldn’t be that bad. He’d plan on maybe moving you out to him when he settled down, but your job was a very hot topic. At the time he hadn’t realized how serious it was. But now he does.

If it was you moving, he’d be just as hurt. And it pissing him off that he hadn’t realize the impact.

For your second and last activity for the day, cause of the way time just flies by; is the largest indoor flea market.

You spend your time there; just looking around, eating, and buying stuff. During your move you make it a mission to take pictures of jungkook. And you do manage to take some good ones.

He also finds an opportunity to ask about your work and how it’s going. And if that co-worker that bothers you is still around. He’s glad to learn that she did get moved to another department. He’s happy with whatever makes you comfortable.

As you’re talking, you’re approached by a couple, older but not old and tourists as well. They ask you to take a picture of them and jungkook is glad to assist. When he’s done, they’re happy and offer to take a picture of you too, jungkook wants to decline the offer assuming you wouldn’t want to but you’re quick to accepting.

“you two look so lovely together.” The lady says and you have no clue what to say apart form an awkward thank you. You wouldn’t blame them for thinking you’re a couple, not with the way jungkook is smiling at the picture.

“Grow up kook.”

“What?” he whines. “It’s a good photo.”

You roll your eyes before walking away. He follows behind you, smiling.

-----

Soon your day on paper comes to an end and you’re returning to the cabin.

You did not know what to expect of your day in the morning. Your night was okay but would the rest of the day go the same? those were some of your thoughts. But to your pleasure the day went well, great even. You just hope it’s the same for the rest of the trip.

Jungkook is on cocoa duty (not assigned but he took the responsibility.) and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t do a good job at it every time.

Leaning against the counter holding your mug and watching him finishes up with his own, you watch.

“How’d you like the Lindt factory?”

He takes a sip before answering. “Great. Honestly enjoyed it more than I thought.”

“What? You don’t trust my judgement?” you watch as he leans on the counter opposite from you.

“it’s not that. Just never thought I was that big of a chocolate fan.”

You hum. Silence fills the kitchen as you’re just enjoying the drink. Why does the air feel so thick, is it the way he just leans there. Pajamas not doing a very good job at hiding his physique. Why the hell does he look buffer. Gosh, his arms look like they’d lift and lay you to your demise. In the morning you caught a glimpse of his shirtless torso, and you were about to lose your cool. To add gasoline to the fire he had just stepped out the shower and had not completely dried. Geez, if it wasn’t for your ability to leave the room, you don’t know what you would’ve done or said.

Jungkook has always had a keen eye for your little frustrated looks, the way you don’t blink, the way you wrap your hands around yourself or how you cross your legs. He knows. It’s the details he’s aware of. No one knows you like he does.

“I like this sweater on you.” He says pointing to the green sweater you’d just gotten back from the dry cleaners.

You look down at it. “Because it’s yours?” you raise a brow as you take a sip of your cocoa.

He shakes his head looking your body up. “no. because you look good in it.” He’s biting his lip, then his playing with that little lip ring. Yn, hold yourself.

You choke out a chuckle. “Jungkook.” It’s a warning for him. But he doesn’t take it.

“What? It’s not my fault you look good in all my clothes.” gosh you’re gonna die choking on this liquid. “Makes me want to just hand over my closet to you.” He’s coming closer to you, gosh what the fuck, he approaches but it’s the sink you’re standing in front he wants. You move. He rinses his mug, tired of the drink.

“Well, that won’t be necessary.” you say sliding away from his towering figure. Just to catch your breath, cause you’ve been holding it. Jungkook laughs at the movement. Just after, you’re rinsing your cup and placing it in the cupboard. You’re not gonna die choking on cocoa, or jungkook as a matter of fact.

“Think I’m going to bed.” You state thinking the bedroom will be your only place of solace away from him.

“Me too. I’m getting sleepy.”

You’re stiff as he walks behind you. You hope you’ll be able to sleep on your own tonight. Cause if jungkook just as much as touches you, you’ll turn into a puddle.

You’re quick to moving to your side and facing away from him as to not see him taking of his shirt. You know because you hear it drop.

“Goodnight.” He says turning off the light.

With all your might you mumble a goodnight to him too.

Tonight, you manage to fall asleep without cuddling. You sleep back-to-back close enough to feel the heat radiating off the other.

Jungkook wanted, so badly to go skiing after seeing an advertisement for it and saw some people do it on your way to the cabin. You’re not one for these intense sports but since he went with you to the Lindt factory, you thought it’d only be fair to go as well. Just accompany him.

Though his won’t be sweet and rewarding.

“You wanna go with me?” he asks teasingly and you shake your head, as soon as you process his words.” come on.” He whines.

“I’ll just cheer you on from down here.” The process of skiing looks terrifying. What do you mean you had to go on those zip line things, and slide down. Not you. Nope.

“it’s not that bad. You’ll be with me.”

Though it sounds comforting it doesn’t change anything. “I’ll just stay here looking around and taking pictures for you.” You smile hoping it convinces him.

He chuckles, his bunny smile on show for you.” baby what are you so scared of?” the pet name comes out smoothly, catching you by surprise. But it does seat itself in and warm your heart.

“it’s just scary.” You wrap your arms around your body.

He sighs watching you closely. “Fine, but can we do something as exciting, later.” He stares at you scattering your brain for what he could be referring to. “Like ice skating.” Oh—he was thinking ice skating. Last night has your mind in a whirlwind.

“That sounds better.” Jungkook laughs cause it’s basically the same thing, but he won’t get into it.

“Okay then.” He says walking to the register. “we’ll do that later.” It’s a promise.

Jungkook is off skiing and you’re sat in doors, still able to watch the outside activities, landscape and events thought the large window. You don’t mind not going skiing, it’s not like it was on your list.

While you’re sat you decide it’d be a good time to call jimin and let him in on your trip so far.

“it’s not as awkward, anymore. It was at first. But then we just agreed to just enjoy the trip for the sake of our money.”

“The sake of your money?” he mocks.

You choke out a laugh. “Yes, for the money.” Is it? “he’s been nice and all. It’s actually not bad.” Jimin hums as he listens, this time at least you have his attention.

You’ve shockingly enjoyed the trip more than you thought, so far. If you just keep on, the whole trip could go well and you’d be back to your normal lives. You hate the sickness you feel at the thought. The trip will end, it is gonna end and you’ll be back to what you were before. Gosh.

“Sounds like the trip is going a little too well.”

You scoff. “it’s not that, we’re both just chill.”

“No fucking or kissing.”

You gasp and look around like someone could’ve heard that, but your phone is to your ear. “jimin! Oh my gosh.” The thought of it has you blushing still.

“Just sayin’. Jungkook’s probably dying. ”

You roll your eyes. He’s fine, you’re fine.

You go on talking but soon you have to end the call. Immediately you cut the call and stuff your phone in your pocket a figure sits next to you. Male, not jungkook. You pay no mind to him. you’re on a public bench anyone can sit next to you. He’s just in his own business. Is what you think until he’s reaching over to talk to you.

“Exciting isn’t it.” when he speaks you catch his foreign accent, not Swiss. Must be a tourist like you.

You awkwardly furrow your brows. “Huh?”

“Skiing.” He points.

Then it clicks that that’s what he’s talking about.

“I presume.” You say modestly. Why the heck is he talking to you.

“Presume? Haven’t you gone?”

“no.” You shake your head chuckling. “it’s not for me.”

“You can’t say that. You haven’t even tried.” You internally roll your eyes. Why does he seem to care so much. “Plus, why come to Switzerland in the winter and not try skiing.”

You don’t know why you carry on this conversation, but you feel like justifying yourself. “Honestly I just came for the Lindt factory.” You say shamelessly causing the stranger to laugh. he doesn’t seem like a weirdo or creep, but you can never know. He’s probably not talking to you out of pure interest. So, you try to keep your distance.

“you’ve been?”

“Yeah. Yesterday.”

He hums sound interested and you know this conversation isn’t ending anytime soon. “How was it?”

You scoff internally. “It was fun. Would recommend you’ll love it.” You don’t even know him; how would you know he’d like it. And to be fair you’d add that Jungkook’s presence made the place more exciting to be at. You assume he doesn’t have a jungkook. Speaking of jungkook, how long is he going to be? You should’ve just gone out on a walk instead.

He nods. “Well maybe you can show me.” You pause, okay now you’re starting to get uncomfortable. “I’m sorry I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that I came alone and it would be nice to have someone show me around.” He justifies but it doesn’t make you any more comfortable. “I’d pay for your ticket if that���s the issue.”

You chuckle. “I’m a tourist to, there’s not much I can show you.”

“I mean you’ve visited the Lindt, so you know more than me.” Gosh he’s so adamant.

You smile awkwardly wishing jungkook would just pop up.

“you’d be better off going with someone else.” You’re looking around as if you’ve lost something. The man catches on to the action.

“Am I making you uncomfortable.” Yes. very.

“No-” before you can finish your lie of a statement, Jungkook’s interrupts, voice anything but kind.

“Yes, you are.” He says firmly, body not open for discussion.

The guy turns to look at you, then jungkook, then back at you. “Do you know him?”

Hesitantly you respond. “yeah” you debate on what to say. “He’s a friend.” He is isn’t he?

Friend? Jungkook chuckles internally. “Excuse us.” He spits out to the man.

The guy is taken aback, but just stands. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You just nod and give him an awkward smile as he walks away.

You sigh relieved that he’s gone.

 You and jungkook share a glance before he’s sitting down.

“Friend?” Jungkook asks when he sits next to you.

You raise a brow. “What? you wanted me to lie?”

“Lie?” he says even stronger. You don’t know what he’s pointing to right now.

“Are you parrot?” You chuckle trying to get smart with him.

Jungkook scoffs at how you avoid his eyes. “You couldn’t have said I was your boyfriend.”

“But you’re not.” You spit out a little quickly.

When you turn to look at him you catch how his jaw clenches. And if you weren’t arguing right now, you’d think it’s the hottest thing. “But you could’ve just lied so he leaves you alone. Now he’s probably going to try to approach you again.”

“he’s not going to.” You say naively.

Jungkook is getting frustrated with this, a little more than he should. “I know guys like that, he’s going wait for a time when I’m not around and attack.”

“Attack?” you laugh at his word choice. Your laughter only serves to his anger. “You’re being dramatic”

“I’m not being dramatic, I’m being serious” his statement comes out a little strong and louder than you’d like

“don’t yell.” You warn him and he apologizes. “I get you feel like you need to protect me, but relax.”

He laughs at the way you think. You thinking he’s feeling like he needs to, no, he needs to. He wants to.

“I don’t feel like, I need to, I want to.”

You don’t say anything, he knows he’s got you, what more could you say. There’s nothing. Jungkook is the protective type, has always been. He’s shown you that many times in your relationship. And then, it made sense but now you feel like he shouldn’t have to bother himself with it. You’re not his responsibility anymore. “We should get ready to go for lunch.” you stand walking away.

Jungkook follows after you, knowing you’re now gonna give him attitude. Your folded arms are evidence of that. He’d normally just kiss the attitude away but for obvious reason he can’t.

-

“you’re not gonna ask how skiing was?” He tries really hard to open the air for conversation. He hates it when you argue. So, he tries to everything he can to lighten the air.

You stare down at your food. Your eyes not meeting him once. “How was it?” you don’t even sound interested which you hate because you are. You love to hear jungkook talk about things he loves.

“It was great.” He explains not into going into much detail like he wanted to. Your energy demoralizes him. “I’m sure they’re still open if you still want to try. He suggests but you’re quick to shaking your head.

When he’s about to say something, he’s getting interrupted. It’s a girl, the one he met when skiing. She showed him around some routes since she’s a local.

“Yn, this is Lena. I met her whilst skiing.” He says introducing you. “Lena this is yn, my friend.”

Fuck now you know how bad it stings.

“Hey yn. How are you liking you trip so far?” she asks politely in an accent.

You stare her up, taking in her features. She looks about your age, and gorgeous. Why is your body so rigid. Speak. “Umm- hi-I’m liking it well enough. Thanks.” you can hear how stiff and awkward your speech is. Gosh yn she hasn’t done anything to you, chill. Smile.

Jungkook breaks into your awkward encounter. “I’m gonna be seeing you at the ice rink, right?”

He says and she smiles a little too hard. You roll your eyes. What does he mean he’s gonna see her there. Is the a you and him trip anymore? Your food doesn’t look as appetizing anymore. “Yeah. I’m there often during the holidays.”

The way her voice rings in your head is jarring. Make it stop.

Soon your prayers are answered and she’s leaving. Though unlike her your heavy heart stays.

Jungkook turns to you, still staring at her route of exit. “You, okay?” your eyes return.

You shift your eyes to your hands. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” You stand from the table choosing to leave. “I think I’m gonna stop by the cabin.”

Jungkook is confused. But he just takes you as you are.

“Sure, let me get-” he threatens to stand.

“no. I’ll just take a train.”

He sits down. If you want to be alone it’s best if he lets you be.

When you get to the cabin, all alone. You find yourself falling into deep thought.

The pretend play you and jungkook are playing is good for you to enjoy the trip, but you won’t deny how much it only covers your true feelings. You play pretend and feel all these feelings as though you’re still together and then the trip ends and you’re sucked into being apart.  And it’s him leaving all over again.

You’re getting sick of it. There’s only so much pretending you can do.

Jungkook: ice skating later today?

He wants to be sure you haven’t changed your mind.

Not matter your emotions you still want to enjoy the trip.

You: sure. Meet you there.

When you make it to the ice rink, your mood is still tense from lunch, which is your fault for holding on to the emotions for so long. To only sour your mood more, you spot jungkook talking to the Lena girl from lunch.

You roll your eyes and watch how she giggles a little too hard at something he says. Jungkook is a funny guy, but she shouldn’t be laughing, whatever he’s said can’t be that funny. This is so irritating. Why the hell is she even here.

When jungkook spots you, he has on a huge grin, but the sour look on your face has him dropping it. He thought maybe you wouldn’t be still upset by now. But he’s wrong. “Yn you’re here.” He says it like he wasn’t expecting you and you weren’t meant to be here, or that’s how you hear it.

“We made plans, didn’t we?” your tone is nothing more than flat and irritated.

“We did.” He turns. “You remember Lena?” He turns to point at her, like you can’t see her. Why’s she looking at you.

Oh, could you forget her. “I do.” You jeer.

“Hi.” she with her perfect smile. You’d liked to punch it in—your of course—you’d never actually so it.

“Hey.” It comes out awkward and strained. Wanting to get things over with you turn to jungkook immediately. “what’re we doing now?”              

“Um. We’ll have to get the skates.” He turns to Lena for some type of consultation, you scoff.

 “Yeah, this way.” she says turning to lead the way.

Jungkook turns to you, your folded arms the first thing he sees. He stands next to you. “You get here okay?” you didn’t arrive together which means you had to take public transport, which he knows you don’t mind but he just wants to check on you.

“Yeah.” You mutter before walking ahead of him. Do you even know where you’re going?

You want to enjoy it, but the emotions that are ahead of you block you from doing so completely. And of course, Lena is a pro at skating.

Jungkook is fairly good, for someone who’s just taken it up. You’d attribute that to his quick learner personality.

You on the other hand are struggling, and it’s pissing you off. You hold on to the half wall and glide. There’s a good amount of people around and honestly, it’s embarrassing. -like- there are even small kids better at it than you. It’d be better if you just stopped. There are probably other activities you could do. Ice skating (or skiing) is not the end all be all of Switzerland.

Jungkook would probably enjoy skating more with Lena, seeing that they skied together earlier. You question why jungkook even ever liked you in the first place. You’re not cool like Lena or even as adventurous, you do try but you don’t feel it’s enough. He’s better off with someone like her. It’s good you broke up so that he can be free to do whatever. The thought stabs at your heart.

Jungkook spots you from where he is walking out. The look on your face anything but happy. He’s swift to skating to you, making sure not to bump into anymore with how fast he’s moving. “Where you going?”

His concerned and soft voice only intensifies your frustration. Could he not see how irritated and bad at this you are. He was probably too busy to notice. He’s always busy.

 “You haven’t even travelled the while ring.” He chuckles awkwardly as you step off. He follows.

“I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it.” You don’t even dare look at him, because you know if you do your frustration will win and you’ll end up yelling or crying. And both are too embarrassing to do in public.

Jungkook scoffs. Jungkook can’t tell what’s going on with you but it’s definitely disturbing your ability to enjoy anything. He wants you to enjoy. But what’s irritating him is how you don’t want to communicate what you’re feeling to him. He’s always made himself a safe space for you to open up. But you never take it. Ever since he m0ved you’ve been distant, physically and emotionally. It’s frustrating cause all he wants is to be close to you in all ways. “You were not feeling skiing and now you’re not feeling this?”

Is he blaming you for not enjoying this? It’s not your fault you feel this way. You don’t even want to be feeling like this. You do want to enjoy skating, gosh you want to, so bad. But there’s just so much you’re holding on too that pretending can’t solve.

“Jungkook I’m not any good at this.” You gesture around eyes starting to sting when you watch how other people have fun while you argue. “You just go have fun with your Leni or Lena whatever.” You act like you aren’t sure of her name.

It’s the way you say it, the force and strain in the word. The way you look to the crowd in a jittering stare looking for her that let’s jungkook know what this is all about. Did it come off like that? She’s just a girl he met whilst skiing, he honestly never thought that far. Never thought you’d be thinking of it.

“Is this because of her?” he questions eyebrows furrowed trying to look at your face that’s staring down. Why the hell are this shoe laces so hard to untie. you just want to cut them off, but you’d probably have to pay for damages. Shit

Your frustration is replaced with another type of embarrassment, when jungkook is on his knee to replace his hands with yours to help you take the laces off. You just want the ground to swallow you right now. Unlike you Jungkook’s calmness is able to take the laces off. He tries to help you into your other shoes but you just brush him off. He moves.

Standing up and looking at you he asks. Voice calm like usual. “Is it?” you’d even forgotten his previous question. Do you have to answer him?

“I don’t know how it would be when you two are off to the other side of the ring. I’ve barely talked to her.” That’s exactly the problem why the heck do you feel like this when you haven’t gotten to know the girl. You barely know her intentions.

“It is.”

You groan rolling your eyes. “If you want help skating, I can help you. I’m sorry that I got carried away.” It’s probably one of the things you’re mad about. He just fucking left you like you didn’t make plans to come here together. Yeah, maybe your attitude made the distance between you, but he should know how to deal with it by now. Gosh you’ve been together for a good 3 years. He should know how you are.

And he does. That’s why he insists you’re acting like this cause of Lena. well, she’s probably just a catalyst and there’s something deeper that you two have to address.

You stand looking up at him, but he’s towering figure doesn’t make you as intimidating as you want to feel. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything, why? Cause you always know what you’re doing.”

“You know it’d be better if you just said it directly.” Whatever it is, because he wants to know. You want to walk past him but his hand around your wrist stops you. You look at it then at him. He’s not smiling, but not mad. Just concerned.

“I don’t--I’m not saying anything.” You snatch it form his grip and he lets you.

Jungkook’s face scrunches up in frustration. “That’s what you always say, then pull shit like this.”

You pause and stare at right in his--round eyes that are now, siren. “Shit like what?”

“This. Your fucking attitude.” He almost loses his tone but remembers that you’re in public, which is so fucking embarrassing. “You never want to talk about things.” He looks around for any watching eyes.

You just glare at him. Maybe you don’t like expressing yourself to him anymore. You’ve noticed it too. It had been hard for you to express yourself to him over a call, and sometimes shitty network. There had been days where you wanted to cry on his shoulders but only had the screen to rely on, so guess what you did. Nothing. You didn’t cry, you didn’t tell him anything. You’d just cry on your pillow after the call ends. “Maybe I don’t cause I know you won’t listen.”

That’s a hit to his ego. To him as a person.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I always listen to you.” The blank look on your face has him questioning himself. “of course, I’m not perfect.”

You chuckle bitterly.

“Just go off to your little girlfriend.” And there it is, a confirmation of what he already knew.

You start walking to the entrance. And he follows. Shoes on. He’s not going to be able to skate with the heaviness in his heart. He’d end up sinking into the ice, which doesn’t sound so bad right now. “Come on.” He swiftly moves to standing Infront of you. He blocks you from moving and you just give up and just decide to look at his jaw, not wanting to look directly at him. Which was not a good idea, cause of how he clenches it. You look up into his eyes. “you’re jealous?”

“Who?” he’s a parrot and now you’re an owl, he wants to say but finds it inappropriate for your mood.

“You are so jealous.”

“I’m no-”

“don’t lie to me.” You try to push at his chest for him to move out of your way, but your plan backfires giving him leeway to hold your hand firmly to his chest. Hard as a rock even through he’s sweater. “Tell me why you’re jealous.”

Instead of answering him directly you try to change the topic. You swear you can feel his heart beat through his sweater.

“Don’t act like I couldn’t see you jealous too when that guy approached me.” You try to one-up.

“I was jealous.” His confession has you wanting you dig a hole and hide yourself. It’s so easy for him to say, you weren’t even enjoying your conversation with that guy. “Difference with me is that I can say it.”

Shit. Shit. What do you say now. Get angrier, that always works, well not really.

“Whatever. I’m not jealous.” You look away from him. Are you really doing this in public. Jungkook doesn’t look like he gives a fuck right now, he just wants an answer. One which he’s not going to get.

“Tell me what you’re so jealous about?” his voice lowers

“How many times do I have to say I’m not jealous.” Till you can’t deny it anymore, the thought runs through Jungkook’s mind.  “Just go have your fun.” You finally decide you’re tired of feeling his heart beat perfectly.

“you’re so ridiculous y’know.” He watches you move slight away, anger not faltering one bit. You’re determined to being upset. “can’t we just talk about this. It seems to be bothering you.”

It is. It’s fucking gnawing at your heart, your lungs, your mind.

“Nothing’s bothering me, I’m fine.” You breathe in, relaxing and calming down just a bit. “I just don’t want to be out there all on my own, while you’re having fun with some else.” Jungkook licks his lip. He doesn’t have anything else to say. What he has to say can’t be said here or whilst you’re unable to hear.

“I’m going home.” You pass by him and he doesn’t bother turning to watch you walk out.

“Korea?” it’s possible for you to want to leave. And the thought causes him to bite down hard on his bottom lip. Cause if you leave on these terms, nothing’s gonna change and he’d never get another chance. You’d avoid him like the plague.

“No, the cabin.” You state and he’s relieved. “Have fun.”

“Everything okay?” jungkook is startled by Lena’s voice who walked around to find him after she noticed he was gone.

“Yeah.” You force a smile. “I’ll just get going.” He informs her. He already has his stuff so there’s no need for him to go back inside. “Thanks for getting us in, though we didn’t even stay long.”

“No problem. It was fun, wish I got to talk to her.”

“Yeah, she isn’t normally like that.” Cause you aren’t.

“I understand.”

You don’t immediately go to the cabin. Instead, you go to the sauna you had been eyeing. It could probably be the only way to relax you. The sweat dripping down will mask the real tears falling down your face. You’re glad you’re alone right now.

You have your head leaned back thinking about what had just previously happened. The thoughts not wanting to leave you.

You hear the door open but you don’t bother looking, you’ve got a lot to think about. “hey stranger..” the familiar voice speaks just as shocked. You sharply open your eyes. Wondering if it’s you he’s speaking to but you’re just the two of you in here.

You’re just the two of you.

“didn’t expect to find you here.” He says setting himself down just in front of you and you looking at him oddly. Do you have bad luck?

“hmm” you chuckle awkwardly. You make a plan to gradually scoot yourself to the door. Being with him here does make you uncomfortable but you try to stay to enjoy what’s left of your time. You expect silence but the man doesn’t see on the same level. “Went to the Lindt factory like you said. Was honestly the best of everything.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” you say like you’re a worker at the factory or care.

“It would’ve been better if you came too.”

You awkwardly chuckle and finally decide to sit up. You came here to think and relax but this guy couldn’t be more of a bother. “I’m sure I would’ve just made it worse.”

He chuckles and smiles your way. A smile you do not reciprocate “I doubt.”

“Is your friend around?” Now you should fucking leave.

“Mm?” you ask like you didn’t hear. Fucking sirens are blaring. He’s not giving off I’m gonna leap at your vibe. It’s more of his inability to give up that bugs you. “Oh- ahh yeah. He’s gonna be here.”

He turns to look at the door like Jungkook’s about to walk through the door, but he doesn’t. gosh you wish he would. “isn’t it hard to have male friends like him.” You look at him brows furrowed, confused. You wait for him to elaborate and he’s quick to it. “Protective.” He says.

“how?”

“makes it hard for you to live your live and get to know people.” You laugh. it’s not like jungkook has his hands on you and pulling you away from people who want to talk to you. He’s actually for it but he just has a good discernment of creeps. As you sit here you reflect on his words from before when you initially met the guy. Gosh you should really start listening to jungkook. Makes you realize how right he is—sometimes--

“no.” your tone is sharp that the soft one you’d been giving him.

He shakes his head. He lifts his hands in defence saying, “I think he’s doing too much.” Now you’re getting upset, visibly so, which is not lost to the man. Who the fuck does he thinks he is. He’s the one doing too much, “I’m not some weirdo, I promise.” He hasn’t shown any signs of it yet, but you don’t give a fuck and you’re not gonna wait around for him to show it.

“I think you’re doing too much.” You snare abruptly standing up. He can tell the irritation on your face and is about to defend himself but you’re quick to cutting in. you’re not about to have it.

“I don’t know how your long your trip is but if you see me around, please don’t speak to me.”

“Wait.” You don’t.

Sauna time done you decide to go back to the cabin, feeling anything but relaxed. Daylight already lost.

Today has honestly knocked you out, as though you’ve done anything energy straining. It’s more of an emotional strain. When you walk in jungkook isn’t anywhere to be seen. So, you just assume he never got back. Makes you wonder where the hell he is and why he didn’t tell you, but you’re in no place to convict him cause you never informed him of your sauna endeavours as well. You’re both grown adults and can move around Switzerland without the other—but—why do you feel entitled to know where he is. You lost those privileges when you broke up and now when you left him at the rink.

Maybe a steamy shower will do what the sauna didn’t finish cause of you interruption. After that you decide to end your night early, you’ve got nothing to do after all.

you toss and turn in bed, barely able to get a linear sleeping time. Everything just feels so weird and off. Even worse than in the beginning. It’s all a different type of awkward, which you hate. Jungkook isn’t sleeping next to you which prompts you to checking the time.

1:39am your phone tells you.

Where the hell is he, you’re starting to get scared. You’re not worried about his safety cause jungkook is very capable in that sector, --well unless he got shot—shot?  Why are thinking of that. Who’d fucking shot him, let alone in Switzerland. He’s never been in any trouble with the law or anyone. You’re getting paranoid, if you don’t see jungkook in the flesh, well and not wounded, you’re gonna lose your mind.

Putting on the sweater that has been a staple and carried you through the trip you walk out the bedroom to the open floor living room. you sigh when you don’t spot jungkook. You won’t be able to go back to sleep even if you wanted to. Cause you don’t feel like it and are losing your mind. As you’re standing in the living room like an anxiety ridden mom waiting for their teenager child at midnight, you hear it. It’s wood chopping sounds. Harsh and fast. You do have some cabins around you so it could be your neighbours—but no--the sound is closer to yours, like it’s just outside. So, you curiously walk to the door which would lead you closer to the sound. Maybe you aren’t as afraid cause you assume it’s jungkook. And it is.

You relax when you spot his figure well and healthy.

He doesn’t notice as you stand watching him. bottom lip chewed down on. Why the hell is he chopping wood at 1 in the morning.

You want to say something. You need to. Maybe apologize about what happened at the rink, you have a fair share in the argument. Since waking up or maybe after the sauna you realized how childish your behaviour was. You ruined the moment. When you could’ve just asked jungkook to help you and he would’ve been there, hadn’t you chosen to give into your irritation. Irritation of seeing him with a woman. There you said it.

His muscles flex as he moves to drop the axe down on the wood.

This is not what you want for you and jungkook. Arguing and not able to talk or share air. It’s not what you want. Even if things do officially end, you’d want to end it on calm and friendlier terms.

As you watch him you notice how his jaw tightens. He’s not just chopping wood. You start to worry for him when his movements grow harsher, of the larger chunk of wood.

“What did the wood do to you?” you try to be neutral.

He didn’t notice you behind him. So, he’s startled by the sound of your voice. Turning to look at you holding yourself in the door way, he chooses to take a break. He got so carried away he forgot he was cutting wood for the fire place and had cut too much. He drops the axe into snow. “Ditched me at the ice rink.” He says going to pick up some pieces of wood to bring inside.

Fuck you feel so bad. You stay silent watching him until he’s brought all the wood in and finally closing the door. Which allows for the warmth from the now blazing fire to fill the house. Now in warmer climate, jungkook takes off his large sweater and you drop your arms that were still wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry about that.” You mumble softly. He stands at the sink, you assume to make himself something warm.

“it’s okay, it’s not like I went all the way to stay in touch with some girl so she could get me—us--a good deal at the ice rink. Then I take you there and you ditch the thing entirely.”

You do feel horrible about to, but his tone irritates you causing you to respond as just that. Which you immediately regret.

“I left you with her, weren’t you happy with that.” You have an interesting way of saying things that bother you.

Jungkook pauses his actions and stares at you with a seriously confused face. He scoffs. You’re not making sense. “You know that’s not what I wanted.” He returns to his mug. “I wanted to spend it with you.” His voices calms.

Fuck. Uhm what do you say. You should probably say you’re sorry. “I’m sorry.”

Jungkook just listening. He just doesn’t understand, he wishes you could just be straight forward. Frustrated and tired of hiding behind a task, he drops the cup to give you, his attention.

“Did I say something wrong?” you stand where you are but jungkook moves. To you. You panic but he doesn’t walk closer than a few feet from you. You don’t know how you’d handle yourself if he came any closer. At the rink you almost died. “At the rink?” he clarifies like you’re not fully aware. He just wants to make sure that you’re on the same page. Cause you can think of other times he might have feared he’d said something wrong.  “I honestly shouldn’t even have started talking to her.” He rubs a hand over his face.

Jungkook has never been malicious to you in your friendship before or relationship. Or even now. He’s been cordial. He’s the only man who’s treated so well and calmingly. Of course he has his imperfections, you both do. But it doesn’t take from how well he’s treated you. He never crosses a line.

“it’s not even that.” You’re looking off to the side and holding yourself again,

Gosh, he’s really holding himself right now. He bites his lower lip and clenches his jaw to hold himself back from just walking up to you and making you look him in the eyes. “Then what’s wrong. Please talk to me.” He pleads.

“I don’t know,” you whisper still looking beyond him, your voice is barely audible.

He’s begging, really for you to just tell him something. “Please don’t say that.” He responds, his tone a mix of frustration and pleading. He steps closer just a few centimetres away, if you unfolded your arms you’d probably bump into his chest.

“I don’t-” you start but your voice cuts you off, “it’s the way you-” you aren’t able to finish. What are you going to do with yourself. This is embarrassing, you can barely form or organize your thoughts and your mouth can barely move to speak. You’re not even going to talk about how hard it is for you to look him in the eyes. You just settle with staring at his other supporting features. His hair, his ears (that are red from what you assume is frustration—it’s not--), his eyebrows and then you skip to look at his nose--

“was it me talking to that girl?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You push away slightly.

“But we have--you know what--I want to.” He moves to block your action of walking away. You thought you were strong enough. You thought you’d manage to talk about this. But you can’t. not when it makes you want to cry.  “I want to talk about it.” His voice is stern but not harsh. It’s just strong enough to let you know he’s not letting this go. It’s funny how something so insignificant can cause you to be in this situation. Forced to express and confront your emotions, the one’s you’ve been running from since the trip began, the one’s you told yourselves you’d pretend didn’t exist. You fooled yourselves by dodging the topic.

Now you’re here. “While we’re at it we can talk about why you broke up with me.” He’s not asking if you can talk about it, he’s telling you it has to be talked about and he’s not gonna let it go by. Not this time.

At his words, all your emotions unite to form a single unit of defence. “me? you agreed too.” You point at him face scowling.

“I only did cause it’s what you wanted, and I didn’t want to hold you back.”

You stare confused. “Hold me back from what?” what the fuck does he think you’ve been doing. You hope he doesn’t think you’ve been out and about since breaking up, that’s been the last thing on your mind.

“From living the life, you wanted to, without me.” His upset at the thought leading his voice to come out a little passive aggressive.

He does think that, you can see it. “Without you? I don’t want that.” You state. “But how can I live a life with you when you’re miles away, always busy. And can barely visit.” You just talk. Finally, your gears are moving. But the problem is that so are the tears. “You moving away is you choosing to live without me too.” You choke on your words a little. “Even I didn’t want to tie you to me or hold you back from your dreams that’s why I tried to li- live with it, but it got so unbearable kook. I couldn’t take it. it felt like I was alone. In fact, I was alone.”

Jungkook feels sick hearing that you felt alone.

“You know I did try.” His voice is soft, moving himself into your circle. You let him. He can’t help himself but cup your cheek. The action feels comforting, almost relieving. At least he’s here and you’re not talking over the phone, makes it much easier for you to sink into his touch.

You hold the wrist that’s caressing your cheek. Gosh you want to keep his touch here forever. “I know that’s what hurts more you tried but it still wasn’t enough. I really did want it to work. I still do.” On your last sentence you look up at him and he’s already staring at you, the thump of his other hand coming swiftly to wipe your stray tears. You sniffle. “Cause honestly I’ve missed you kook.” You feel comforted playing with the end of his sweater.  “So much. I miss how we were before you moved. When it was easier for us to be together.” your fingers take a journey from the bottom of his sweater to the neck.

Your palms lay flat on his chest and his hands move to softly hold your wrist, not to move you away but you keep there.

“I know we said we’d pretend. A-and I thought I could. But I can’t kook.” On cue with his name, you look up at him. “fuck- I never knew how much I hate seeing you talk to other—" you can’t finish your sentence, but it’s okay cause he’s finished for you in his mind. “I’m sorry for attitude.”

He glides his hands from your wrists down your arms until they are both on your waist. “I’m sorry too.” He’s pulling you closer, your hands still on his chest, but now for stability. “I’m so sorry I was too distracted for you. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t serve that.” He’s caressing your back. “okay?” you have to answer but you can only bring yourself to nodding. All he’s ever wanted was to know. Know what was wrong and how he could fix it.

“I’ve missed you too.” He smiles lightly bringing his nose to brush against yours. The action has you tilting your head upwards. His lips itch to touch yours, but they don’t they just hover, he still has more to say. And he wants to say it close enough for you to feel it. “If only you knew how I dreaded every morning and realized you weren’t next to me. Every time I just wanted to fly back home.”

“So, what stopped you.” You’re looking at his lips. his rosy and moist lips from how hard he’s been biting and licking on that. You wanna do that. You wanna kiss him, wanna be the only biting down on his lips.  you wanna do a lot of things right now. You wanna run your hands through his hair remind yourself of its texture, you wanna lift that sweater off, that holds his cologne so well, the earthy lavender scent, that crawls its way through your system. You wanna take that sweater off him, --feel, see—just how much that gym membership as proved itself valuable. You know you won’t be disappointed, jungkook loves the fucking gym.

“I don’t even know. But all I know is that it’s not gonna stop me anymore.” Him nudging his nose closer has you tilting your head to meet his lips. the air between you feels heavy. The feeling pulling your lips to meet. And when the do, it’s fervent. His kiss is urgent but slow, not wanting to be apart from you for a second.

 Your bodies are hooked together as Jungkook is moving you back into a wall. The kiss intensifies when he leans your head back with his hand around your neck. You’re gripping onto his sweater for support and breathing him in for life.

Jungkook clings onto your lips for life too, even if he needs to breath he doesn’t stop. You moaning into his mouth will suffice. He doesn’t know where to keep his hands. Should he use them to tilt your head back to deepen the kiss, (if he goes any deeper he’s gonna sink.) whilst he uses the other to pull you leg up by your thighs, his grip surely leaving crescent moons as decorations. He doesn’t know what to do with them. For the moment he uses them to pull he sweater over his head. You’ve been clawing at it to come off.

Now shirtless you can feel his skin for what you remember it to be silky-smooth. So delicate that you fear leaving scratch marks on him, but jungkook encourages it, he begs you to do it. Your hands roam his body, first his large back, muscles flexed, then down his firm chest then down to his defined midsection. “What am I to do with all this.” You say breathless.

“You tell me. It’s all yours.” Your lips are meeting again. Tongues tagging at each other. For some reason the rich, sweet and completely irresistible taste of chocolate lingers on your lips, but he loves it and is drinking it up.

Jungkook finds that his hands are better at gripping your thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist. His core moves into you and you feel how hard he is against you. You’re thankful for his thin pajama pants.

Your hands pull at the root of his hair, though it’s shorter you make it work, making him groan into your mouth. You both can’t fucking breath at this point, which is the only reason you’re pulling away. Your heavy breaths brushing against each other.

“jungk-” you’re moaning for him to take you to bed but he’s steps ahead of you. Your feet don’t have to fret cause he’s lifting you by the thighs to lay you on the edge of the bed.

You lay back on the bed but legs on his shoulder, he’s kneeling between your legs. Your pants are still on but not for long. In a swift motion you’re left in your plain black panties. The ones with the little bow. He chuckles at the detail. When you see what he’s laughing at you get self conscious. Jungkook looks up at you confused why you’re closing your legs.

“I didn’t know we’d be in this position, so these are the one I brought.” You try to explain yourself cheeks blushing red. He doesn’t know why you’re so insecure about the detail. He loves them.

For a quick kiss he’s on his feet hovering over you. “it’s okay, I like my gifts wrapped in bows.” He smirks and the comment has you calling out his name in shock. peck. He’s back on his knees staring at your core. The bow is a detail he’ll miss but he’d gotta take them off. Fuck is all he can think when your cunt is right in front of him, wet. Is this where he’s meant to die, right in your cunt from suffocation cause he won’t be able to detach himself from you.

Your legs are planted on his shoulder, your ass just at the edge of the bed. When he first swipes his tongue through your folds, it takes you by surprise. Gosh you missed him being right there.

“fuck” you whimper the sound not being able to be masked. Your slick, probably mixed with his saliva, drips down your cunt, down his chin. His nose is so deep in it that some of your juices run up his nose. Is this how fucking cocaine sniffers feel?  He can’t wait till his cock is buried snuggly it. He sniffs in, on purpose this time, takin git once more. You grind on his face making him suck harder at your clit. You’re getting dizzy and gripping hard at the sheets. His nails dig into your thighs harshly, the pain causing pleasure.

Everything is so intense you can’t tell apart your orgasm. Fuck you can’t be coming this fast from just his tongue. Shit. “Jungkook. Don’t stop” You whine the intense feeling approaching quick, your walls tightening and fluttering around his tongue. Jungkook’s so carried away he only realizes you’re coming when your legs are shaking. He drinks everything that leaves and it’s only when you’re pulling his head back from overstimulation that he realizes he should take a breath. He’s starved can you blame him?

“you’re so gorgeous baby.” he says peppering kisses on your thighs. “Wanna do that again for me.” He’d absolutely would eat you out for a second time in a row. And you’d love that but you just want to feel him.

You’re moving up the bed and he’s hovering over you kissing your jaw. Your palms meet his ass in a teasing smack.

“Missed this ass.” You smile under him. jungkook just chuckles. you want to add on but his finger stuffing your tight cunt has you silent, gasping for air.

Jungkook smiles down at your pleasure strained face. “mm? not so talkative now?”

He thinks he’s got you. Then you slide down your hand down his abs, he knows where your hand travels and though it’ll destroy his ego, he lets you do it. “so big” you bite your bottom lip as you start stroking him, using your own juices as lubricate. He’s walls are falling. Your hand wrapped around him, has him burying his moans in the croak of your neck.

It’s a competition huh? he loves those second and fucking your cunt first.

You’re stroking him in his pants and he’s pumping his fingers in your cunt. He’s kissing you to hide his moans. It’s a fucking competition and he’s losing. He can’t lose. His hand leaves your cunt to grab at your wrist. You stop. He pulls you away from him. if you went on any longer, he’d be done for and the night wouldn’t end the way he wants. He hasn’t been touched in a year, unless it’s talking about those times you sexted, but it doesn’t count. It feels different when it’s your hands.

“why’d you do that?” you whine.

“If you did that you wouldn’t have gotten the orgasms I have left for you.” You don’t respond. you won’t argue, you do want them.

His fingers are back to pumping and even sooner than before your climax approaches. He wishes he could count just how much you flutter around his finger but he’s too busy looking at your face, pleasure written all over it. and its pride that fills him, knowing he’s the one giving it to you.

Jungkook moves away and you watch how he licks his fingers clean. The way he smiles at you after, is disgustingly hot.

“Take off your pants.” You tell him.

“You take off your shirt.” He reciprocates, you’d forgotten you’d even been wearing anything.

Jungkook is spoiled by the sight before him, your chest sprawled out for him to taste. So, he leans down and wraps his tongue around a nipple. His hand lost at the other side. You love all the foreplay, really, but you want him. you’ve been thinking about it for forever.

“Jungkook.” You call. He hums saying you have his attention. “I want you.”

There’s nothing more he wants.

“Want you too baby.” He says grabbing his cock and aligning it with your entrance. Then he remembers.

“fuck” he whispers. You sit up and wander what has him holding back.

“what?”

“I don’t have a condom.” He knows he doesn’t have one, it’d be weird, it’s not like he was coming on this trip expecting to fuck you.

“Why?” he stares at you confused.

“I didn’t expect fucking to be on the itinerary.”

Oh yeah, you laugh at himself.

“Do you?”

“Nope. Why would I have them.” He just shrugs his shoulders.

He’s gonna lose it. “Are you on the pill?” it’s his only option.

That’s when you shake your head. “Got off when we broke up.”

Okay so what is he gonna do, his cock hard and your cunt right in front of him.

“Jungkook come on you can pull out.” You whine pulling him forward.

She shakes his head. “god no. I almost lost my mind from your hand. It’d lose it in your pussy.” You smile, you shouldn’t be laughing cause you won’t be able to fuck. But you just can’t help but smile at the fact that he almost lost himself just from your hand. You’ve got no clue on what to do. You really need to fuck him.

“Wait--” he looks at you. “This is a lover’s cabin.” You say but he waits for you to elaborate and make sense.

“wouldn’t they have condoms in the cupboard or something.” He didn’t think of that.

So, as you stand you walk over to the cupboard roughly open it almost tipping it over. “Bingo!” you celebrate pulling out a long string of condoms. Your saving grace.

You carefully pull out one and toss it to jungkook.

“Relax aren’t they the one’s you usually use,” you say when you see the look on his face. They do look like they’ve just been purchased and placed. He’s so thankful right now. He leans against the head board and you watch how he gracefully he strokes himself and slips it on, your mouth drools but you’re too needy. You’ll do that another day.

“Come ride cow girl.” He welcomes you when he’s all done. You stretch your legs over him, centering yourself. His hands are quick to spread across your ass, landing a light tap.

He helps you centre himself at your entrance. His brows scrunch together when he feels your tight warmth slide down him. he definitely isn’t going to last long, maybe he’ll hold on till you come but after that is not promised.

His hand loosely holds at your throat, just enough to tilt it back slightly and leave wet kisses and marks everywhere on your skin.

You sliding up and down him feels great but he couldn’t help himself but move his fingers to touch your clit. In pure pleasure you’re wrapping your arms around him and kissing him. you love this position, how he nudges at your back, how intimate it feels, the way you’re so close after being so far away. The cold is barely in mind. Jungkook can’t express how much he’s missed you.

You love it.

But what you love more is how he pulls at your hair, just softly. “Love fucking my cock huh?” he asks but you’re unable to answer his hips jutting up into you with great speed. Jungkook could get carried away with the way your boob bounce but he chooses to say focus. “You like that huh?” he smirks but your eyes are closed, the pleasure of his intense strokes taking you out.

“Yeah, love fucking you kook.” You whimper out.

He’s thrusting harder and you’re moaning louder. “you look so pretty taking me baby. Wanna fuck you forever.”

You wish you.

Your body melts into his as you’re coming again, jungkook fucking into you for his own high which follows after yours. When he catches his breath, he’s laying you down and beside you just after throwing the filled condom.

“I’m gonna get the bath started.” He says planting a quick kiss on your shoulder.

You’re too drained to stand so when he’s back to come get you you’re dozing off. “come on baby I’ve got to get you cleaned up.”

You groan. “Then after a I can make you cocoa.”

“I’m so tired kook.” You whine.

“I knowww.” he coos. Next thing you know he’s lifting you, bridal style. “it’s okay I’ve got you.”

“Hmm. Don’t move.” Jungkook whines when you threaten to stand and start your day. You two have already slept in because of your late-night endeavours.

“I have to kook. We have so much for our day.”

“Ugh! Fine. But first give me your hand.” He demands the action has you confused but you give it to him. when he has it, he’s giving you a billion kisses. “I love you.” He doesn’t think it’s too soon cause—well he doesn’t know it just felt right to say.

“I love you too now let me go.” He makes sure not to unhand you until you say it more ‘meaningfully’ according to him.

---

You and jungkook decided to retry ice skating (you were hell bent on not going skiing.)

As you’re skating jungkook slides to the half wall, after telling you he has to take a call. You shoo him away after telling you’ll be fine alone (for the meantime).

“Any news?” jungkook was nervous when he got the call from Namjoon. This is a very important call from him, it determines what the hell he’s gonna choose. Quit or get transferred.

“Yeah. it’s been approved.” Jungkook is still for a moment.

“Seriously?” it almost feels like a dream.

“Yeah, had to do a lot of convincing but they agreed.” He’s so grateful for Namjoon. He’s gonna miss him. Jungkook looks over to you, gliding not great but better, and you’re smiling this time. So, he’s happy. You’re happy.

“Thank you, man,”

Namjoon smiles, he knows how much this means. “No problem.” The call cuts.

This just seals a lot “kook look out.” He pockets his phone and as he’s turning to you, you slam into him. You haven’t gotten to the knowing how to stop just yet. Maybe next time.

“You okay, baby.” He says holding onto you by your waist

You let out a dramatic breath that has him smiling. “Yeah, but I’m getting kinda tired.” You say out of breath and letting your weight fall into his arms.

“I’m getting hungry too.” You’ve spent a good amount of time ice skating so you decide to leave it for next time.

--

“what’s the plan for tonight.” He asks as you eat.

“Hmm. For the first time I don’t know.” You both laugh. “We could go out for dinner—ohhh the hot tub--.” You forgot about it cause none of you ever wanted to use it, honestly you didn’t even expect the place to have a hot tub.

“I like the sound of that.”

The steam of the hot tub hovers lazily on the surface of the water. The steam curls around jungkook as his gaze locks on you. Body dry cause you haven’t gotten in yet. You walk onto the deck, the dim but still bright enough lights radiant off your skin, as though the sun has come to pay him a visit at night.

His breath is caught.

The bikini hugs you in all the ways that made his thoughts falter, the curves of your body illuminated by the soft glow of the light. He swallows hard, his mouth dry despite being surround by water. You make him weak, so much that he looks only at you, even though your attention is else were. You try to find a place to hook your towels.

And then you turn around to smile at him in victory of finding a place to hang them. He nods acknowledging but no paying attention.

He leans back slightly, the water lapping at his shoulders as his eyes roam you, mesmerized. There’s some thing unworldly about you, something he can’t quite put into words. It wasn’t just the way you looked, that made him trip for you. It was the way you carried yourself, the way your body swayed as you moved closer to him.

His arms immediately reach out to envelope you. “Enjoying the view?” you tease, your voice relaxing into the tub and his warmth.

The chuckle he releases is low, “you know I am.”

Your giggle like a melody. You wrap your arms around him and he loses his stability for a second before regaining it. “careful.” He murmurs to you, a slow smile spreading across his face. “I might drown.”

“I wouldn’t want that.” you peck his lips.

You relax for a while just taking in the night and each other presence.

Jungkook has been meaning to ask, the question eating at his mind.  “Do you want to go back to Korea with me?” it sounds like a dumb question, you came together so you will be leaving together.

But the double meaning lies within and he’s desperate to know your answer.

“What are you saying?” you coo at him. “Aren’t we already going back together.” You’re talking about the tangible stuff, the tickets, the plane, the flying, even the landing and going home. But he doesn’t mean that.

After pecking your shoulder water sticking to his lips, he explains. “I don’t mean physically.”

You stare down at him eyes softening. “kook” you realize the seriousness of his question. And for a second jungkook senses scepticism. So, he panics.

“If it’s bout my job, I’m working on it.” His voice is quick.

That was a fear of yours, even more that he wouldn’t want to move. Jungkook has thought about it, the move was a rush decision he never spoke to anyone about it to ask their opinion or whatever. And honestly the move didn’t bring him much joy, besides the opportunity to adventure Jeju. But apart from that he was away from his family, his friends and you. Everything that made his life.

“Seriously?” you say more shocked than anything else.

“Yeah, Namjoon called me. My transfer got approved.”

 You gasp the water swashing from your movement. “don’t lie to me”

He laughs. “I’m not.”

“I thought you said getting it approved is hard.” You’re finding this so hard to believe.

“It is, I guess I got lucky.”

You squeal moving in to hug him.

“When did you start all this.” It’s along process so he had to start early.

“Honestly before we broke up. I wanted to surprise you if it got approved. But then-” you shush him from going on further.

“So, what would have you done if it didn’t get approved.” Your tone drops.

Jungkook sighs looking around in thought. “would’ve fucking quit.” it’s funny how easy the idea is for him, former him would have struggled with the question. “I’m tired of being so far from you.”

“Same.” He places a longer and soft kiss on your lips.

“So, you wanna go back with me?” His voice is playful, as he looks up at you through wet lashes.

“Mhm.” You smile, leaning slightly closer to him, your fingertips tracing lazy circles on his shoulder. “I wanna go everywhere with you.”

The words hang in the air for a moment, warm and intimate, as his lips lifts into a small, boyish grin. “We can arrange that.”

Jungkook doesn’t mind being patched to your side like a little purse dog. In fact, the way he leans into you now, his hand slipping around your waist as if it were second nature, says he’d prefer it. His thumb grazes your hip absentmindedly, a small gesture that feels both possessive and endearing.

“I’m gonna miss it.” you say leaning into Jungkook's shoulder with a pout. You wait patiently for your flight. “Feels like we just started the trip.”

Jungkook reaches over to cup your hand in his. He then interlocks your fingers and brings it to his lips; the action causes you to smile softly. He really likes to do that. It’d never been a trait of his before, so you’re intrigued, to why he does it all of a sudden. “We can come back one day. together.”

“Yeah together.” You reassure. You like this. Like having him with you.

[3 months later]

“Jimin if you’re gonna wear that to my fucking wedding you’re not coming.” You announce to a jimin too focused on the light blue suit he’s in. in the mirror you can spot his cheeky grin. He’s not gonna wear a freaking light blue suit, it’s not on the colour scheme, plus he doesn’t like how it makes him look.

He turns to look at jungkook who’s standing on his own pedestal looking into the mirror. Touching and teasing at the suit. “Jungkook you’re not gonna let her do that right?.” Jungkook just shrugs his shoulders at jimin. He’s not pleased with the answer. He knew the dude was down bad, but not this down bad. “Bro!”

“she’s the boss.” Jungkook raises his hands in surrender and you smirk in your seat.

“Come on man…standup.” he fists at Jungkook who just laughs. As Jimin is stepping out to get out of the suit (he stayed so long in it you thought he might actually want to wear it.) and get changed, you swat him with a magazine and he’s quick to running out not wanting you to land another hit.

Now alone in the dressing room you walk up to jungkook. You lean your chin on his shoulder, your hands finding there way to his chest. He welcomes them with his own. “You look so handsome.” Your voices hums sweetly by his ear. Jungkook lifts up both of your hands to place soft and warm kisses on them. The action has you blushing red. The ring on your finger and indication of why he liked to do it before. Plus, now, he just enjoys it., it makes you blush and he likes that.

“Mhm.” He hums against your wrists. “You like it?”

“I love it.” You take a hundredth glance at a preview of what he might wear at your wedding. If he chooses it’s what he wants. You love the cut on him. the colour complimenting his skin, and the style shows off his physique, not too much, but not too little. But all the buttons on the vest and shirt are gonna give you some trouble undoing.

Jungkook stares at you completely enamoured at the way you’re looking at it. You should be looking at him like that. “I think you might love the suit more than me.” He turns abruptly causing you to fall into his chest. He catches and keeps you stable with his firm hand on your lower back.

You place one hand on his chest and the other around his neck, bringing you much closer. “I might just.” Your lips could meet easily with how close you are. But you don’t move them and jungkook pouts at how you deny him the opportunity.

“I’m gonna take it off, not gonna let you love it more.” He nudges his nose with yours.

“Take it off.”

“Jeon Yn! I forgot how freaky you are.” You roll your eyes at how he’s already given you his last name, you like the sound of it though. Reminds you of how real this is, you’re not dreaming.

Trying to tease him more you move by his ear to whisper, “Not here though.”

Jungkook is biting his lower lip. “We should hurry then.” he moves to kiss your shoulder, your off-the-shoulder top giving him leeway to kiss your skin directly. He peppers more kisses from your shoulder to your neck before  you get carried away you’re prompting for him to turn around. He does, though reluctantly.

You giggle.

“Do you like it though?” your voice turns serious, as much as you like it and how you just want to see him in it the whole day. If he likes it matters.

“Yeah, it makes me look so…husband.” He smiles boyishly as he winks at you in the mirror.

“Oh-gosh.” You push yourself away from him to get back to your seat. You’re not gonna be here all day.

He turns to face you. Still standing on the pedestal. “When do I get to see you in your dress” His teeth play with his lip ring as he asks curiously. The thought of you in the gown exciting him.

“When I walk down the aisle.” You stare blankly, no room for discussion. And he doesn’t, you’ve been quite stern about him not seeing you in any bridal wear until the wedding. Which he doesn’t mind, he can wait.

“Make sure it’s a ball gown so that I can slip under and hide.” He gestures his hands to elaborate what he means.

You shake your head. It’s not your style, maybe when you were a child, but you’ve grown. “I’m not wearing a ball gown.”

Ditching the jacket, he places it next to you and stands closing your legs between his. He lowers himself so your nose is touching his. His arms trap you between him and the couch. You didn’t think he was not gonna get that kiss right? He kisses you softly, then again. Then a little harder the third time, this one lasting seconds longer. You hold on his waist for stability. He kisses you once more just for the sake.

“I’m very sure you’ll look divine in whatever you pick, baby.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: so that's that. I hope I've fixed your broken heart from I-redo. there are scenes that i couldn't fit in. Yes of course there are other activities they did, but if i wrote it all it would be boring and too long and would probably be pushed to next month. i wish i could've written more fluff but idk.

i will allow for story drabble request if you guys want that.

but yeah thanks, for reading, liking and commenting. much love. wishing you a happy new year.

story idea copyright of keen-li, 30.12.24

[cmdrfupa]

Tend to me

Barkeep!Nanami x Salarywomxn!Reader

“That's what I do. I drink and I know things.”

a/n did this come from talking in a server about how post college Nanami needs a job and simping over how hot he’d be with his sleeves rolled up? You bet your ass it did. Thank you Court and Nana for your beautiful brains 🩵💜

MDNI +19

Five rejection emails, no callbacks, and his interview today turned into a scene from a novela after the receptionist barged into the boss's office, exclaiming that she was pregnant. All in the span of one week.

Kento pressed his forehead to the linoleum. table as he groaned.  

“Don't give up! It's like, 10,000 other bank jobs! You'll get one.” Haibara squeezed Kento’s shoulder as he watched his form slump into itself. 

"Yu, it seems like I’ve been turned down for 10,000 jobs. At this rate, I’ll have better luck getting a job as a cab driver.”

“But you don't have a car—”

“Shhhhhh.” Kento turned his head to the side, still keeping it on the table and looking at Yu. 

He knew Yu was trying to help, but it’d be more helpful if he didn't speak.

"Look, Ken. If nothing else comes up, I can talk to my boss to get you hired.” Yu stuffed the last of his tuna onigiri in his mouth, smiling as he attempted to cheer his roommate up. “You won't have my role as a trainer, but you could be one of the guys who clean off the sweaty machines! Pays pretty decent.” 

Clearing his throat, Kento sat up, eyes still closed before he spoke up. 

“Yu.”

“Yeah?” His big brown eyes were only filled with genuine care; Kento looked over at him and sighed.

“Thank you. I'll let you know if I need you to do that.

 Yu gave a toothy grin as he gave Kento a swift pat on the back. “It's all gonna be okay! Just breathe.”

Kento stood with a wry smile. “Thanks. I'm gonna go for a walk. Clear my mind a bit. See you tonight.”

The stroll served its purpose. It reminded Kento he wasn't a poor interviewer, nor did he lack the gusto. The job market was over-saturated and relied heavily on personal connections; Kento did not know a soul in the finance world. 

He stopped; a ‘Now hiring, Inquire within’ sign on a heavily tinted window caught his eye while Gojo watched him from the other end of the FaceTime call.

“Where does that leave you now?”

 “Well, I’ll get some experience in the meantime, become a math teacher or tutor while I look for something more sustainable.” 

"You? A teacher? Nanamin, don’t make me laugh.” Gojo propped his phone up, “You’ll have the students' brains bleeding out if you do that. Think of the children, Ken-doll.” 

Kento rolled his eyes and watched Gojo clean his desk. Literary motifs littered the wall behind Gojo. A large poster of Yevgeny Zamyatin hung in the center. “Math isn't supposed to be fun anyway. It's not teaching Dr. Seuss. It teaches objective truths and concepts.” 

Gojo feigned a yawn. “Wherever there is objective truth, there is satire.”

“That’s not how Wyndham Lewis meant it.”

“You don't know that! He's dead. It's all about interpretation.”

“I’m hanging up now. Gojo. Goodbye.”

Gojo smiled. “I can pull some strings and see if Yaga has a spot in the math department.” he nabbed his phone, seemingly prepping to leave his classroom. 

“And remember dinner this weekend! See you Nanamin!” he blew a kiss into the phone pushing Kento to immediately hang up. 

Kento looked back at the building. The 3-story building had hints of older Japanese architecture with European accents. 

"The Zenith" was carved into a wooden pillar adjacent to the entry, with a simple design. 

“I can just see what they're hiring for. No harm in that.”

The bar inside was the epitome of luxury and sophistication, designed to impress the city’s most discerning clientele. In the hotel's heart, Kento felt out of place. The floor-to-ceiling windows showed breathtaking views of the Tokyo skyline. He waited for the hiring manager to end her dumbfounded stare. 

“So no previous barkeeping history, no customer service work, and no idea how to run a till.” The dark-haired woman named Utahime looked up at Kento. “What qualifications do you have?” 

Smoothing his hair back to think of what he could say to seem qualified, he looked around the room. Older individuals who appear established. Business-minded. 

An older woman, in a meeting, smiling at the blonde-haired man. An older man was on a call. His younger companion crossed her legs and batted her lashes as Kento scanned. 

"I could boost revenue and upsell your best bottles to those who don't care about the price."

“Mr. Nanami. How could you do that? Most of our clientele just order one drink and maybe a listening ear.” 

There were a lot of things Kento lacked but looks were never one of them. The gift of having the perfect genetics made academics a breeze. But, it was now time to use his good looks and gift of gab, inherited from his grandfather. 

“I learn quick. Hire me today and I’ll have every stool filled and the register overfilled in 7 days. I guarantee.” 

Polished, calm, and precise. Nanami excelled behind the bar, his steady hands mixing drinks for the city’s elite. With his sleeves rolled, he perfected the craft of keeping up with mundane conversations mid-shake. His bulging veins, as he held the shaker, made every woman calculate their tip before he served their martinis.  Muscles flexed when he noticed some of the older men who could care less about the young women in cocktail dresses attempting to be mysterious and wanted to know if the blonde keep could do more than be heavy-handed on the gin. 

He was the bar's eye candy, something they should've thought about hiring months ago. 

It's a world where he realized he can control every variable, crafting experiences one cocktail at a time. 

After his first week, they offered him a permanent position. Working midday during the week to keep businessmen and women pleased and one Saturday evening shift a month to keep the younger crowd in.  

The low hum of conversation and soft jazz music filled the dimly lit bar as Kento worked behind the sleek marble counter, expertly mixing another round of drinks for the evening's guests. He wore his usual stoic expression, with the usual white button-down shirt and well-fitting slacks to match. 

He placed a completed cocktail on the bar top, and wiped his hands while checking what needed to be refilled. “Utahime? Could I get some more ice and a few more lowball glasses, please?” he spoke into the earpiece he donned on his left ear. “They seem to be disappearing, and Choso isn't back from his break."

"Yeah. Give me 20. I'm running tables for catering. I'll send it by Takuma.”

“Thanks.”

He wiped down the bar top; a figure slid onto one of the high-backed leather stools in his peripheral with an aura that turned heads without needing to demand attention. 

“What can I get started for you this afternoon?”

“I’ll have a French 75, please. Thank you.” Smooth and assured, your voice rang like a hymnal in his ears. 

Kento gave you a nod, his ability to indulge in small talk temporarily taken from him by your presence. He set to work, measuring gin and fresh lemon juice with his usual care, topped with a flourish of champagne. The drink landed before you in a delicate, chilled glass.

You took a sip, eyes never leaving his. Your nude-colored lips curved into a small but telling smile. "Not bad... but not quite perfect either."

Kento raised an eyebrow, subtly intrigued but keeping his expression neutral. “I take it you have high standards.” 

You chuckled, low and sultry. “I’m a person who knows what she wants, and I don’t settle for anything less.”

Nanami leaned in slightly, his tone dry yet teasing. “Perfection is subjective. Some people might call that 'almost' drinkable."

"Almost isn't in my vocabulary," you replied, eyes gleaming with challenge. You pursed your lips. “Not in business, not in life... and definitely not in drinks.”

He smirked, just enough for you to notice. “I’ll keep that in mind for your next order.”

You swirled the drink in your glass, the fizz of champagne catching the low light as you appraised him. “A man who can admit he’s not perfect? You must have been raised well. Refreshing.”

Nanami met your gaze, unruffled by your attempt to throw him off his game. “I prefer precision over perfection. Perfection tends to make people complacent.”

Your eyes narrowed but with a hint of amusement. “Interesting perspective, coming from someone who works behind a bar.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Someone has to remind people that the best things in life have room for improvement. Even when they think they’ve already got it all.”

Tilting your head, glancing at the way the simple silver chain rested against his collar. You were impressed but clearly enjoying the game. “You might be onto something. What’s your name?”

“Nanami Kento,” he said simply, as he wiped down the bar.

“Well, Nanami,” your voice is softer but no less commanding, "next time, why don’t you make me a drink that I can’t critique?”

He gave you a rare, almost imperceptible smile. “Challenge accepted.”

Your eyes lingered on each other, the tension electric. You raised your glass, with a smile so poised and self-assured, before taking another sip.

"Looking forward to it," you murmured, low and teasing. Then, you stood and left a 50-dollar tip with your card. You walked away, your perfume lingering in the air.

Kento read your name on the card. His curiosity ran wild with every possible scenario as he watched your backend disappear into the lobby

_

A few days later, the bar's golden lights glowed softly. They reflected off the dark marble counter as Nanami wiped down glasses. His thoughts drifted to the usual routine. He’d swapped shifts, which resulted in watching the evening crowd trickle in, primarily corporate types and high-society guests, and Nanami managed the situation with his typical efficiency and calm demeanor.

But as he adjusted a bottle of whiskey on the back shelf, a familiar presence caught his eye.

You were back.

You entered with the same quiet confidence, this time fitted with a far more casual, sleek outfit paired with heels that clacked against the polished floor. 

Moving with ease, you slipped into the same seat as last time, your gaze meeting his immediately. Your lips curled into a slow smile, almost as if you knew he’d be expecting you. 

“Good evening," Kento greeted, his voice calm with a slight edge of anticipation. 

"Nanami," you replied, leaning forward. Your self-assured energy was hard to ignore. “It's a pleasure to see you tonight. I think I’m in the mood for something a bit more... complex.” 

“Is that so?” he asked, his tone dry but with an undertone of curiosity. “What are we talking about? A Negroni? Maybe a Vieux Carré?” 

You smiled a glint of challenge in your eye. “Surprise me.”

Kento studied you for a moment, then nodded and began his work. 

His movements were precise but fluid as he grabbed a bottle of mezcal and began crafting a Smoky Margarita, layering complex flavors—mezcal for smokiness, lime for sharpness, and a touch of agave to round it out, all topped off with a rim of chili salt. The drink was bold and nuanced, like the woman before him.

He placed the glass in front of you with hushed confidence, waiting for your reaction. 

With a slow sip, your lips brushed against the glass as your tongue sampled the salted rim. Eyes closed momentarily to savor the taste.

When you opened them, your gaze locked onto his. 

“Now this,” you leaned forward, "is much better.”

Kento leaned on the counter slightly, his smirk more visible this time. “Glad to hear it. Looks like I’m learning.”

“Seems like you’re a quick study.”

You held each other’s gaze, the air between thick with tension that had only grown since your last encounter. Your voice dropped to an intimate murmur, barely audible over the ambient music. “So, Nanami... what do you do when you’re not making perfect drinks?”

He raised an eyebrow, amused by the shift in your tone. “I don’t get much free time. I like structure with very little change. But I do have a break coming up.” 

Your smile widened, and there was a glint of mischief in your eyes. “Is that so? And what do you usually do on these breaks?” 

Kento straightened, glancing around the bar. The crowd was calm tonight, his usuals with a small group of beer drinkers. He certainly wasn’t going to be missed if he disappeared a little earlier than usual. “Not very much. But there’s a private spot upstairs. Quiet.” 

“Lead the way.”

Kento signaled for one of the other bartenders, wordlessly handing off duties as he made his way around the bar and approached you. You stood and walked alongside him through the bar.

Turning the corner without paying attention, an inattentive passerby bumped into Kento, a glass of what he could guess was whiskey now soaking the front of his shirt. “Holy shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” 

You pressed your lips together, smiling as Kento didn’t let the incident interrupt your determined ascent up the stairs. 

You didn’t speak as you made your way to a barrier, secluded alcove on the mezzanine floor—a quiet corner with a view of the city through tall windows, framed by rich drapes. The world outside was glittering and alive, but here, away from prying eyes, it felt like their own little escape.

Kento stopped near the window, turning to face you as the ambient glow of the city lights bathed them both in soft light. You stepped closer, the subtle scent of your perfume mixing with the full scent of whiskey that stuck to him. He unbuttoned his shirt, uncovering his lean torso and square pecs. 

“You have a talent for choosing the right spot.” You said, your voice lower now. 

“I don’t waste time.” He replied, his eyes locked on yours. 

You smirked, stepping even closer until the space between you was nearly nonexistent. “Efficient. I like that.”

Kento’s pulse quickened though his exterior remained composed. The heat of your presence never wavering as he watched your every move. 

You lightly brushed his arm, a deliberate move to see his reaction. 

“I knew you’d be interesting,” you uttered, your voice soft, teasing, but laced with something deeper. “I just didn’t know how interesting.”

Kento’s lips quirked into a small smile, one that carried more weight than any words he could say at that moment. “You’re not so predictable yourself.”

Your eyes locked. The city lights flickered around you, but neither of you noticed, too caught up in the magnetic pull of something new, something charged. 

You reached up, your hand brushing his collarbone. You licked his whiskey-flavored chest. You languidly licked up to his neck as he sucked in a sharp breath. "Hmm." You whispered while your lips hovered close to his. “I like a man who can keep up."

Nanami’s voice was steady, but there was a rough edge to it now. “I don’t plan on slowing down.”

With a final, knowing smile, he closed the gap between you. His lips brushed yours in a kiss more electric than the city lights below. 

“Nanami Kento.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“When you clock out, my room happens to be on the floor above this one.” You slid your room card into his pants pocket as his hand slid down, pressing you into him. 

Kento pushed you to the wall with a quick yet gentle motion, nudging his knee between your thighs. "You've surprised me."

“How so?" The sudden closeness brought a surge of anticipation bursting in your chest.

"I didn't take you for someone who would enjoy a bit of public play."

You rubbed your wetness on his knee, lost in thought. A simpering moan escaped you. "I don't know what you're talking about, Nanami."

Amused by your attempt to keep it together, he moved his knee forward to elicit another moan from you. "The dampness of my slacks says otherwise." He drowned out the sounds of the late-night rush with the pants he pulled from you.

"Tell me how to please you with precision and I'll follow every direction."

Thank you @/saradika-graphics for the dividers ✨

[sevcasejay1chicago]

Hi! Would you maybe do a fic where the reader tells Kelly he’s going to be a dad? Super cute and fluffy and very excited Kelly.

Baby Severide

Warning: morning sickness/ vomiting, lots of fluff

Authors note: sorry it took so long to get this posted! I just haven’t had the spark to write in a while. Hope you enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days prior to the announcement:

You woke next to Kelly like you do every day. The sun was just shining in and the cool breeze was rustling the curtains. You had nowhere to go today, so you weren’t entirely sure why you were awake. Kelly had canceled everything for the day since you had woken up sick two days in a row and were left feeling awful for most of the day. You soon realized why you were awake.

You untangled yourself from the sheets and shoved Kelly’s arm to the side as you ran for the bathroom. You barely made it in time when your stomach gave in. You had a white knuckle grip on the tank, sobbing as the next wave came up, when Kelly ran in.

“Oh baby.” Kelly sighed sympathetically. He grabbed your wash rag and wet it before coming to pull you down to your knees. “Shhhhhh. Just let it out. You are doing so good.” Kelly soothed, laying the cloth on the back of your neck.

You blindly reached for him, sobbing and hyperventilating as you tried to stop the vomiting. “K-hurk” you tried to call out his name, but a harsh retch cut you off.

“Sh sh sh. Don’t talk. Just focus on breathing baby girl.” Kelly said, taking your hair away from your face and gently rubbing your back as you gripped his pajama pants.

The episode lasted for about 10 minutes before you were finally able to pull away. You fell into Kelly’s arms with a sob. You hate throwing up and have now thrown up three days in a row. You don’t know what’s wrong.

“I gotcha. I gotcha.” Kelly shushed, slightly rocking back and forth. “Shhhhh. It’s okay Angel. You feeling better?” He hummed, kissing your sweaty forehead. You rose your hand and tilted it side to side in response.

“Think your done for now?” Kelly asked, leaning back a little to see your face. You nodded and Kelly smiled at you. “Okay baby girl. Up you go.” Kelly said, pushing you back just enough to stand and then pull you into his arms.

Kelly stopped to let you wash your mouth out a few times and blow your nose. He checked your temp for the third day in a row and hummed at the thermometer. It just couldn’t be right.

“Welp. No fever again baby.” Kelly said, rubbing your sides as you sat on the bathroom counter. “Ready to crawl back in bed or do you want a shower?” Kelly asked, standing between your legs still.

“Bed first. Nap. Shower later.” You said, laying out your plan.

Kelly laughed and lifted you up. “Yes ma’am.” He said, kissing the side of your head before he deposited you onto the bed.

Hours later, you woke to a note from Kelly saying he was going to go help Matt do something and stop by the store. Assuming he’d be back around the time he specified, which was suppose to be 6 pm, you called Kim Burgess.

“Burgess.” Kim answered on the third ring.

“Hey Kim. It’s Y/n. Are you busy at the moment?” You asked, knowing that since it was 4 pm, she could be on the job.

“Nope. Just wrapped up a case. What’s up?” Kim asked, continuing to pack up for the day.

“I need a huge favor. Like, I need this to stay between us until I know for sure.” You said, twisting the sheets in your hands anxiously. You had an idea of what the problem was, now that this had been going on for three days in a row, but you did not feel well enough to leave home.

“I already know. I’ll be there in 20.” Kim said, hanging up.

You chuckled, knowing your best friend probably knew before you did.

Now:

As you suspected, Kim figured out you were pregnant before you or Kelly did. You knew that Kelly didn’t have a clue since he was pretty adamant about not going on shift yesterday, but you promised that you would call him if you needed him and would check in regularly. Since he left, you and Kim had been working on your little announcement.

When Kelly got home the morning after his shift, he was pleasantly surprised to find you sitting on the couch. You had on a red hoodie that he did not recognize, a pillow hugged to your stomach, as you sipped on some coffee.

“Hey sweetheart.” Kelly called, smiling as he eyed you.

You grinned. “Hey handsome. Come join me.” You said, setting your coffee to the side and moving the bag that you had next to you.

Kelly slide into his place, pulling you into his side. “Feeling any better?” He whispered, planting a kiss on your temple.

“About that.” You said, grinning. “I have some news.” You handed Kelly the bag from Walgreens and removed the pillow as he peaked inside. You held back a laugh at his confused face.

“Do we know…” he started to say, pulling out the little firefighter boots, but stopping short as he read your hoodie. “Newest member of squad three.” He read, a smile blossoming on his face as he looked to where the arrow was pointing at your stomach. “Oh my God!” Kelly yelled, grinning from ear to ear. “Are you serious?!”

You nodded, grinning like a fool as tears rolled down your face. “Your gonna be a daddy Kel.” You whispered, voice choked with tears of joy.

Kelly started chuckling and pulled you into a hug. “Baby. This is the best day of my life.” Kelly practically sang, leaning back to look at you, then leaning down to your belly. “Hey fire cracker. It’s your daddy and I am soooo happy you are going to be ours.” Kelly whispered, kissing your stomach.

You held a hand over your mouth, refusing to sob at the sight in front of you. You knew Kelly would be excited, especially given the way he reacted when he held your nephew for the first time.

“How long?” Kelly asked, kissing you quickly.

“Nat says I’m 7 weeks. I just never thought about it since I’m so irregular, but I saw her yesterday after I got a positive home test.” You explained, wiping happy tears from Kelly’s face as he did the same for you.

“When can we tell everyone?!” Kelly asked, practically jumping in his seat.

You chucked, so happy that he was happy. “Whenever your ready.”

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

@celtic-shadow-wolf

[aza-writes]

The Columbia Party

college!matt murdock x reader

Summary: you're a law student at Yale and your friend takes you to a Columbia Law school party one night where you so happen to meet a really cute blind guy

Warnings: use of y/n, few curse words, alludes to future smut

Based on the quote: "Everyone knows that the only real Ivy's are the Holy Trinity; Harvard, Yale, and Princeton" because Blair Waldorf is an icon

requested: no

The music playing in the bar was so loud that you could barely hear the guy standing next to me. His smile was charming but he was trying way too hard to be Mr. Cool Guy. Bragging about how he went to an Ivy League when everyone here is doing the same. I fake smile and giggle, hoping it’s enough for him to buy me a free drink. And I was so close. One more playful touch on his arm and I would be sucking down something strong for free, getting buzzed after a minute. But no. My friend who brought me here, Bre, grabbed my hand and pulled me away into the crowd. 

“You have to meet my friends! You’ll have so much fun with them!” Even with her yelling, her voice is barely audible over the music and loud conversations. She pulls me through the crowd insisting that a quiet spot is only “a little further away.” It wasn’t until after we finished one song, listened to a full one, and started the next that we finally made it to a small corner booth with two guys and a girl sitting there. 

 

"Bre!" the long-haired guy who kinda looks like a hippy yelled toward us. He immediately stands up and hurries over to her. 

Bre grips my hand harder as she walks towards the hippy man. “Foggy! How are you?” She’s speaking louder than usual, indicating the buzz of alcohol in her system. She goes to hug him without letting go of my hand, leaving me awkwardly standing there. 

She finally pulls away after a few long seconds. “This is the girl I was telling you about!” She lets go of my hand and makes a grand gesture to me. “Isn’t she so pretty! I told you she was pretty!” I giggle at her drunk compliments. Bre was the type of girl to brag about her friends but she gets even more affectionate after she’s been drinking. The perfect hype woman. 

I was expecting him to hold out his hand for me to shake, instead, he pulls me into a big bear hug. “I’m Foggy,” he turns and points to a girl at their booth, “That’s Marci, and that one with the glasses is Matt.” 

I wave at everyone. “It’s nice to meet all of you. I’m y/n.” I smile as Bre again grabs my hand and pulls me to the booth to sit down. 

Bre giggles as we sit down, then immediately stands up. “I’m gonna get us drinks!” She smiles and dramatically kisses the top of my head with a “mwah” before she runs back into the crowd to the bar. 

“So,” Foggy breaks the silence, “Bre said you’re in law school too.” 

Matt perks up at this, finally allowing me to see his full face and the upper half of his shoulders. I can’t tell if it’s the alcohol but he has a very pretty face and extremely broad shoulders. Nice muscles too. Before I got to respond, Matt asks another question. 

“You go to Colombia too?” He faces me, with furrowed brows. You can see the wheels in his head spinning but I have no idea what he’s thinking. 

“No, I go to Yale.” I smile softly, uncomfortable with the fact Bre left me with three strangers. I only know Marci from the one time we met. I was staying the night in Bre’s dorm when Marci hurried in and packed an overnight bag to meet up with what Bre refers to as ‘mystery whipped man’ which I now think is Foggy by the way he’s sitting so close to her. 

Marci giggles at this and looks up at Matt. “Oh, this is just perfect!” I look at her confused until she turns to Matt. “Weren’t you just saying that people that go to Yale are-” 

“Shh-” Foggy cuts her off, but that doesn’t stop her. 

“A bunch of pretentious-”

“Shhhhhh!” This time it was Matt trying to get her to stop talking. 

“Assholes.”

My eyes widen. “Oh really?” I look back at Matt. “Everyone that goes to Yale.” 

“That’s not at all what I meant.” His voice is a bit more defensive but nervous beyond everything else. “It’s just a lot of people there are a bit more high class and um,” he looks at Foggy, trying to get his help in the situation. Foggy just sits there and puts his hands up in surrender. “Snobby?” 

“Snobby?”

“Shit that isn’t the right word.” 

“Snobby? Says that guy that goes to Colombia. You probably think that you’re too cool for one of the top law schools in the country.”

Matt scoffs. “Colombia is an Ivy League school, just like Yale.” 

“Oh please, everyone knows that the real Ivy’s are the Holy Trinity; Harvad, Yale, and Princeton.” 

Matt opens his mouth, about to rebuttal, when Bre returns with two Long Island ice teas. 

“Sooo, what did I miss?” She smiles and sits right next to me, trapping me next to Matt. “Is everyone getting along?”

“It’s going just great.” I give her an obviously fake smile before sipping my drink. I’m too sober to deal with any of this right now. 

An hour passed, as well as two Long Island ice teas, two rounds of shots for the table, and something fruity Bre brought me. I was too buzzed at that point to even ask what it was, but it was good. I was doing relatively okay, drunk enough to feel fine but I could still think logically-ish. Bre on the other hand, was wasted out of her mind. She was so drunk to the point Foggy and Marci had to get her back to her dorm. 

“I’ll drop her off then run back to grab you and Matt.” And with those three leaving, it left me and Matt alone. 

I don’t feel like talking to him and I don’t want to talk to him, but the awkward silence was enough to make me want to bang my head into a wall. I’m honestly considering it. I slowly turn my head to look at Matt who was taking a sip out of his beer. His hands look so good holding the bottle. His jaw tense as he drinks it, his lips wrapped around the opening. 

Fuck he’s hot. 

He pulls me out of my daydream by chuckling a bit as he sets his beer down. 

“What’s so funny?” I’m at that stage of drinking where I say anything that comes to my mind. I can’t tell if I like this part or hate it. 

He just shakes his head and smiles. “I-it’s nothing,” he tries to compose himself but he starts laughing again. 

“Tell me. It’s not like I’m gonna remember it in the morning.” I lie, I’ll remember it perfectly fine. I just want him to tell me. What about this whole thing is so funny he can’t help himself from laughing. 

He chuckles a bit more and turns to me. “Okay then.” He smirks then leans in close. “When I took a drink your heart rate spiked, your skin is hotter, and your breath quickened. You find me attractive, don’t you?” 

My eyes widen. How the fuck did he know that? “Excuse me?” 

He chuckles again. “It spiked again.”

“H-how do you know that? And I don’t. And how the fuck do you know about my heart rate?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” he straightens up, his smirk still lying across his face. 

I wanna smack it off of him… Or fuck it off. 

Only a few seconds after I let that thought slip in, he’s smirking and giggling like a fucking mind reader. 

[testingthewatersss]

Phantom Trigger warnings for PTSD, mentions of war, torture, phantom limb etc. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Oneshot 6200 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI  Some nights are worse than others.

“…Baby…” Y/N grumbles, still half asleep, “…What’s wrong?…”

Bucky barely responds. A whimper escapes his locked jaw, but his eyes are still screwed shut;

“…C’mere…” she yawns, “…It’s okay…”

He’s crying. His chest heaving so violently that it’d woken her.

Her fingers slip up from their place around his waist until she can stroke his cheeks. They’re damp, and hot under her touch-

“Bucky” she says, more vividly awake now, “Bucky, what’s the matter?”

“I-” he gasps, eyes suddenly open and muddled in the dark, “I— g-god… it… it, h-hurts”

“What hurts?” Y/N asks, urgency slipping into her tone, “Baby, talk to me”

“My shoulder” he says, gritting his teeth, “It- it’s burning”

Oh…

She sighs, sympathy washing over her in one aching wave

“The whole arm… the wh-whole thing is throbbing… I- I can’t…”

He’s panting, clearly trying to catch his breath despite the pain he’s in.

“C’mere… Bruce said to try and move it, remember?”

“I can’t” he sobs, “I- I can’t, doll— It- it hurts so damn bad—”

She nods, understanding. She lets one of her hands drop down, tracing the angry red seam of his scar so lightly she’s barely touching him.

He barely seams to notice.

“Try your fingers…” she whispers, moving in even closer to his front, “…Open and close your fist”

Bucky feels a gentle kiss against his brow, and then, as he tries his best to focus— To make his metal knuckles even twitch — he can’t help but groan in despair.

It really is agony. The entire limb is consumed in a cloud of hot, aching, numbness, and the scar that attaches it to his body feels like it’s tearing open all over again.

“Breathe” Y/N instructs, tone blessedly calm, “In… and out, baby…. I’m right here with you, it’s okay…”

and just like that, he’s starring at her. Wide blue eyes shining in the dark as tears continue to stream down his cheeks.

He tries to inhale, to exaggerate his breathing in an effort to please her, but a sob claws at his throat at just the wrong time, and he ends up humiliated and spluttering as she lets her hand float back over to his brow.

“I know it hurts” she soothes, “It’ll pass… it always does.”

She’s right. Of course she’s right, but it doesn’t help ease the pain he’s in now.

He’s still sobbing, too, which doesn’t help-

“Fingers” she reminds him softly, tiredness heavy in her tone, “Squeeze my hand”

When he realises that the hand that’s not cradling his face is laced with his metal one, he cries harder. He can barely feel it. He can barely feel her hand, and he can’t take that at all—

“…One, two, three…” she counts, tightening her fingers around his in sync with the numbers, “…One, two, three…

His eyes are closed again, now.

Screwed up tight, jaw locked.

—One— Two— Three—

He’s trying desperately to feel the pressure against his palm. To make his fingers move past the deep, cramping, numbness.

Y/N can tell how hard he’s trying.

She knows that means that this episode is a bad one. She treats him to another kiss against his brow, and then, she feels it.

The slightest twitch against her thumb.

“Good” she praises instantly, “that’s your thumb, baby… let’s work with that…”

“Jesus christ-” he sobs, “—It… it’s never been th-this bad before”

“You spent all mornin’ in the gym with Rodgers” she reminds him calmly, “Maybe you over did it”

She’d warned him about that.

He remembers. Her concern, sweetened with a smile, and finally a kiss, when he’d promised her he’d be just fine—

and now, he’s bawling. Hysteria bleeding through the cracks of his previous state of quiet suffering at the mere idea of having disappointed her some how.

“Shhhhhh” Y/N coos, lips back against his brow, “Shhh… shhhh…shhh, baby, you’re okay…. it’s going to pass, I promise…”

“-I— fuck, I- I’m sorry, doll, I— I didn’t think-”

“Don’t be sorry” she cuts in, squeezing his hand again, “Everythin’s alright”

He swallows hard and redirects all of his energy into moving his hand again, into curling his fingers around hers in a hopeless display of attachment.

Holding her hand had been the first way he’d been able to show her any kind of physical affection at all. After spending so long either being kept in total isolation, or in varying states of torture he remembers the feeling of bliss the innocent display of skin on skin (or skin on metal) had filled him with.

He needs that kind of relief now. He needs the comfort it can offer him more than anything—

“Baby” Y/N whispers, “You’ve got to breathe for me”

He’s only getting more and more worked up. The pain he’s in being mixed with, and overwhelmed by panic and distress.

“I- I- I need you” he pants, hysterical again, “I, I need- I need to feel you please… p-please…”

And now he’s looking at her again, and her heart is breaking, and she’s moving, guiding him in, impossibly closer towards her chest before he can continue his desperate pleading.

“I’m here, I’m right here-” she promises, feeling his nuzzling into the crook of her neck, “-I’m not goin’ anywhere-”

“Shit-” he gasps, “-shit, I— can… can I h-hold on, doll, p-please?”

“Sure you can” she purrs, feeling his flesh arm snaking it’s way beneath her, “Did you get any sleep?”

“I think so” he mumbles, voice vibrating against her throat, “it’s been achin’ for a while but, god— it- it woke me up and it’s not gettin’ better, I— I didn’t mean to wake ya-”

“Don’t worry about waking me up” she tells him, adjusting to their new position.

He’s half-way on top of her, one arm willingly trapped beneath her back, and the other, is still draped lamely across her waist, with one of her hands still tangled with useless metal, whilst she palms at the back of his ribs to soothe him whilst he cries.

“…One… Two… Three…” Bucky hears her whisper, “…One… Two… Three…”

“O-one…two— three…” he mimics, trying to make himself feel the pressure he knows she’s putting on his palm, “One— two.. three…”

“That’s your thumb, again” she tells him fondly, “That’s it, baby, keep going… Well done…”

“…I can’t feel it…” he tells her wetly, “…I can’t feel…”

“I know” she whispers, “You will love, it’ll come back”

Bucky is good at pain. He has a military grade assault weapon soldered to his central nervous system, and even though this isn’t the sharpest agony he’s felt over the years— It hurts. It really just hurts.

and he’s crying, and trying desperately to make his thumb move.

It shouldn’t be this hard.

He makes a loud, frustrated, sound, and Y/N is quick to hush him;

“Baby, breathe it out—” she whispers, “—you can’t just force it…”

She’s half expecting him to snap at her. To tell her that he is breathing, that he’s trying his best;

But, no—

He looks at her, wide-eyed and tearful as he collapses down into a pitiful stream of sobs.

Irritation would’ve been better.

Anything would’ve been better.

She feels her whole chest burning as he sniffles silently against her neck, resolve shattering completely.

“C’mere” she murmurs, pulling him closer towards her front, “you’re breaking my heart…”

Bucky whimpers like a wounded stray, trying his best to move with her, to burry his face against her skin until everything just stops.

It’s too much, he’s too tired.

He hasn’t slept well in days. Even with her next to him, he’s been tossing and turning and aching and dreaming—

“You’re exhausted…” she notes, and he finds himself wondering if she can actually read his mind, “…baby, does it hurt too much for you to go back to sleep?”

“Yeah” he confesses, choking on the words, “It- it’s real bad this time”

“Are you cold?” she wonders, concerned, “I can get more blankets, or FRIDAY can turn the heat up”

“I d-don’t know, doll, I— I j-just w-want it to stop…”

God, there’s that burn again, deep in her chest, behind her ribs.

Her heart is breaking in real time.

“Let me see” she purrs, instinct taking over, “Can I touch it, love? I’m not goin’ to hurt you, I promise.”

I’m not going to hurt you.

He’s heard that before. Hundreds of times- and it’s almost always been followed by cruelty.

He trusts her though, more than anyone, and her voice kind, and calm and he’s nodding, sniffing and crying lamely into the crook of her neck whilst her hand slips up to the scar on his shoulder.

The skin is burning hot.

It’s red, and angry, even in the dark.

“God, Buck” she sighs, sympathy thick in her tone, “I think somethin’ must have knocked it, or maybe you pulled it some how. Did you miss a punch or anythin’ like that?”

“Maybe?” he snivels, “I d-don’t know, I— I didn’t w-want to hurt him, s-so I— I try not to use it b-but I can’t— I can’t al-always-”

“You can’t always help it” she agrees, “It’s not your fault…”

Her fingers are trailing across the wound. She can feel the texture of scar tissue pulled tight across muscle and metal plates. She can feel heat pulsing out from the joint as her thumb floats over a bump that feels suspiciously like a screw hidden under his skin.

“I…I th-think I used it to, to jump from a frame?” he offers weakly, “I w-was on-only messin’ around with Rodgers, I- I didn’t think a-about it-”

“You’re not goin’ in and out of cryo anymore” she replies calmly, “it’s not as tough as it was when you were, baby, not yet, anyway— You’ve got to lay off it for a couple more months at least… it’s so fresh, it never got chance to heal right…”

Bucky thinks she sounds affectionate when she’s talking about it.

About the hideous metal limb that was soldered to his body to stop him from bleeding out and to keep him useful;

He doesn’t understand how she doesn’t hate it like he does.

“That’s your thumb again” she whispers, suddenly, “are you trying to hold my hand?”

It’s not flickering against hers, anymore. Now, it’s still, curled around her.

“Y-yes” he admits, embarrassed and still sobbing-

“Okay” she whispers, “Okay, good job.”

She squeezes his palm encouragingly as her free fingers continue to trace his scar, soothing the tender skin with a gentle, well practiced touch.

Bucky closes his eyes again and tries to shake the fog from his mind.

He just feels broken right now. He just wants to hold her hand. He thinks that he could handle any amount of pain as long as he could feel her fingers around his.

She’s his safe space. She’s been his safe space for as long as he’d known her, and now, he’s clinging to her in every way he can and it doesn’t seem like enough.

He’s panicked. He’s hurting. He’s crying like a baby and he can’t make himself stop—

“That’s good” Y/N praises suddenly, feeling his pinky finger moving now too, “That’s a finger, too… you’re getting there, baby…”

She presses her lips against his temple, because it’s the part of his face that he can reach, and lets her palm flatten across his scar, just feeling it throb under the contact.

It seems softer than it had when she’d started touching it, but, so does the rest of him.

His muscles have relaxed, cramp inducing stiffness forget in favour of complete, submissive surrender.

He just wants to cry in her arms. Even the desire to stay tense, to stay guarded and ready for the pain he’s in to increase is no match for the way he just wants to be held by the woman he loves.

“C-c-can y-you t-touch my arm?” he requests shyly, “p-pl-please, I- I w-want to try and feel it…”

“Sure” Y/N whispers, letting her palm float from his scar, all the way down across his bicep, and finally his wrist, before making it’s way back up.

He shivers. It just aches.

Bruce had called it ‘phantom limb’

He’d said it’s common in people who’d had traumatic amputations.

He said it’s his brain trying to reconnect the nerves from the arm that’s no longer there, and that usually it’s only described as a ‘strange’ type of pain. Like an ache or an itch that you can’t soothe, because the arm, or the leg, or the foot is gone.

But his case is more complicated, because the nerves that were left over had been wired into the metal-work of the new arm so that he could feel and lift and fight with it without someone having to programme extra data into the already limited technology.

So those nerves are still there, still firing signals to his brain, but now they’re stuck in a mess of vibranium, trying to let him know that this hurts that it’s too heavy, and that it needs to get off so they can heal, but they can’t and the old arm is gone, but his brain doesn’t know that, because it can’t and it’s feeling the pain of that, but losing the feeling of the replacement, and it-

“It’s too much” he whispers, “th-this is… it’s too much, I- I can’t… I can’t”

“You” Y/N soothes, continuing to run her fingers up, and down the limb, “Don’t have to do, anything, baby… Just breathe… cry if you want to, and let me look after you, I’m right here… you’re safe, you can just settle…”

She’s telling him he can just be, with her. That she doesn’t mind if he cries, and doesn’t sleep, and he loves her, more than anything in the world.

“I’m right here” she whispers again, “baby, I can feel your thumb, I’m not goin’ anywhere, you must be worryin’ about somethin’”

He’s more than worrying, really. He’s terrified that she’s going to leave him. That he’s going to snap back to somewhere terrible, where he’s totally alone, suffering in the dark with nobody coming to do anything other than make it worse— He doesn’t know how she knows that though— How she always seems to know, but god, he’s grateful. He’s grateful because he needs to hear her telling him that she’s staying.

The pressure his grip is putting on her hand is impressive considering not only how weak it was before, but also, because it’s only coming from his thumb and last finger.

It’s almost painful, but she doesn’t even consider pulling away, even a fraction. She just squeezes his palm again, before letting the hand that had been trailing across his arm move over to his hair.

He whinges as she strokes a curl back behind his ear, letting out a stream of sad, needy little noises as she starts to soothe him that way;

“I’m callin’ in sick today…” she tells him calmly, “…I’ll have FRIDAY do it later, and then, we can spend the day gettin’ some rest…”

Before he can open his mouth to object— To apologise, and plead for her not to change her habits because he’s so unstable, she’s kissing his temple again,

“I’m taking care of you” she says firmly, “I’m making lunch, and dinner, and you can have all the cuddlin’ you want, sweetheart, you are long overdue some skin on skin…”

and then, she feels it.

3 vibranium fingers are clutching her hand, now. Sure, that’s including the thumb, but still, it’s progress.

“Sweet boy” she whispers, voice dripping with affection, “That’s it, good job”

Bucky’s head is ringing now. He can hear her, he can hear his own fractured crying, too.

Despite that, her praise washes over his chest like a balm. Cooling the hot swell of panic that had been slowing building since he’d been woken by the searing pain of his arm.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing to earn her approval, or the sweet terms of address she’s treating him too, but he definitely does’t want to stop.

“You’re okay” he hears her whisper, “I’m sorry it’s hurtin’ so much, it’ll pass soon, I promise.”

She listens to him sniffling, sad, tired sounding sobs vibrating against her throat as he tries to make himself grow quieter, and all she can think to do is squeeze his palm again.

“Shhh, shhhh, shhhhh” she hushes, over and over again, “shhhhhh, shhhh, shhhhhh”

The rhythmic pattern of her exhaling is almost as comforting as the way she’s still stroking his hair.

He releases in a sudden moment of clarity that he’s so totally in love, that if she was to reach over and take out the knife he knows she keeps in her dresser and slit his throat, he wouldn’t even flinch.

“I love you” doesn’t seem like nearly a serious enough statement to convey the real depth of his feelings for her, but he says it anyway, “doll, I- I love y-you so much”

“Oh, baby” she murmurs, fingers slipping round from his hair to his cheek, “I love you too, you know that, don’t you? You know how much I love you…”

Do I?, he thinks, muddled, She… she must love me, because she’s here… she’s takin’ such good care of me, even after all this time…

“I think so?” he says uncertainly, “m-my head is… is real messy tonight, doll— I- I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry” she counters quickly, “It’s just tryin’ to keep you safe, it’s workin’ real hard and we already know you’re exhausted”

“I… I feel safe” he says, realising as the words leave his lips that it’s the truth, “I always feel safe with you… I- I a-always have…”

Y/N feels herself beaming in the dark as the shattered pieces of her heart knit back together.

“Good” she whispers, emotion plain to hear, “Good, baby, because you are safe… you’re so, so, safe…”

He knows that. He really knows that.

That is why he’s letting himself cry, and admit to the pain he’s in.

Weakness is only okay when he’s safe, because weakness used to mean terrible, terrible things were coming.

He’s nodding, tears drying against her skin, now, too, from where he’s spent so long nuzzling into her throat.

“I can feel all your fingers gettin’ stronger, baby, can you feel my hand yet?”

She squeezes his palm and he exhales long and deep and relieved.

“Yes” he says, “Yeah, I- I can.”

“Good” she replies, pecking a kiss against his brow, “That means it’s gettin’ better… keep movin’ them as much as you can and it should speed things up.”

“I don’t want to let go” he tells her weakly, “I’m scared.”

I’m scared.

That breaks her heart.

“Baby” she whispers, “What of, huh?”

“Y-you bein’ gone—” he pants, honest and exposed, “—me le-lettin’ go and w-wakin’ up in… in a c-chair or- or o-on a table all, all on my own”

The broken pieces of her heart burn behind her ribs. Her whole chest tightens in response.

It’s so painful she has to take a second to steady herself before she replies, because she doesn’t trust her voice not to crack;

“Can you look at me?”

Bucky edges his face up shyly. There’s no distance between them, really, and by the time he can actually see her, their noses are almost touching.

He feels disgusting. Tears are cold and fowl against the hot, red skin of his cheeks, and he can feel his pulse throbbing in his temples.

Still, he watches her. Sore, blue eyes focusing intently on her face.

“I’m right here” she says strongly, “You are never, ever, going goin’ back to bein’ on your own like that… I promise.”

“S-sometimes” he gulps, “Sometimes wh-when I close my eyes I- I don’t k-know where I am, and I— I ha-ave to hold on, I- I don’t want to let go, n-not right now, doll — I— I d-don’t want to go back there…”

She can’t protect him from his mind. No matter how badly she wants too, she can’t do a thing to stop him from dreaming about isolation, and torture and suddenly, the idea of asking him to relax his grip on her, feels a lot like asking him to submit to that experience willingly.

“You can hold on” she says, tightening her fingers around his, “you don’t have to let go… Sweetheart, you can always hold on okay? You can always hold on to me…”

and he is holding on, his flesh arm is curled under her body and even that is tightening, tugging her close to his front.

“I— I- love you” is all he manages to say before he starts sobbing, again.

He’s hurting, and tired, and done being brave for right now.

His face falls back to the crook of her neck and he starts weeping.

It’s hot, and wet, and untempered.

Y/N knows better than to ask him to quiet down. She knows that the fact he feels able to just let go like this is a testament to how safe he feels with her.

It doesn’t make it easier to listen too, though.

She contents herself by hushing him. By running her free fingers through his hair, carding it back gently as she tries her best to just soothe him any way she can.

Bucky can feel himself slipping. Every inch of him hurts. He’s tried and crying, and scared and all he wants to do is cling on to the one thing in the world that makes him feel safe and he can’t even do that properly.

He feels useless, and weak, and like he’s about to fall even though he’s almost one hundred percent sure that that’s impossible.

Y/N wouldn’t let me fall anyway, he thinks desperately, She’d never—

But, but what if she lets go?

I can’t hold on, not well enough, not with one arm, and she… she might not think about it—

No, No— That can’t happen— he’s barely hanging onto sanity as it is, and losing the stability she’s offering, losing the feeling of arms around him, and her fingers in his hair—

No. No. No.

He’s suddenly choking on air, again.

“D-Don’t l-let go” he begs, hysteria forcing the words past his lips in a blur— “D-Do-d-don’t—p-please… p-please y-you c-can’t l-let go..”

Y/N feels her brow furrow. She can barely make out his words through the mess of his sobbing, but she wants to hear, to answer him if she can;

“Baby” she whispers, “I can’t hear you… take a breath for me…”

“P-please” he chokes, trying not let himself lose it completely “Please, -doll, d-don’t let g-go…I- I c-can’t a-and I-I need y-you t-to h-hold on—”

Her heart burns behinds her ribs as he speaks. As she hears him pleading with her to hold him because he can’t hold onto to her.

“…Oh, love…” she sighs, shaking her head, “…Don’t worry ‘bout that…”

He is worried though, he’s very worried.

He can’t say anything though, not when he can barely breath.

He settles for starring at her instead.

Wide, blue eyes focused on her face as tears run down his cheeks in hot uneven rivets.

His nostrils are flaring, lower lip quivering as he tries and fails to tighten his metal fingers around her hand, again.

She hasn’t seen him this blatantly terrified in weeks.

“Hey, sweetheart…” she whispers, “…talk to me, huh… you look so scared…. so, so scared… can you tell me why?”

He whines, a pathetic, shallow stream of whimpers leaving his throat as he tries to focus on her question;

“Hmmmm?” she presses, hand slipping from from his hair to his brow, and then down, to cradle his cheek as his jaw starts to shake, “I know it hurts, I know you’re tired, but somethin’ else is goin’ on in there isn’t it?”

Her thumbs are tracing his temples now, and he’s hanging on her every word.

“I… I’m s-scared” he agrees weakly, “I- god, I- I’m scared.”

Y/N nods, knowing how hard it is for him to express himself sometimes.

She gives him a minute, watching as his eyes over flow again,

“Can you tell me why?” she presses when his sobs start to slow, “Sweet, sweet boy…”

“It…” he murmurs, “It’s s-tupid”

“No” she counters, “it’s not”

She sounds so sure, that he finds himself gulping, readying himself to tell her;

“F-fa-fallin”

Her head tilts, she presses her lips against his cheek, and waits for him to try again.

“Fallin’…” he whispers, “I- I’m ss-scared of falling…”

That hurts.

It feels like a steel dagger through her chest. It twists as she sees his eyes drop, a fresh layer of shame in his face.

“Right now?” she checks, fingers running over his cheeks.

He nods, and lets himself be wracked by a pitiful bout of sobbing.

“Oh, baby” she sighs, wrapping her arm back around his shoulders, “You know I’d never let you fall…”

She’s not telling him he can’t fall. She’s not reminding him of logic, or telling him that he’s being stupid, or— anything, like that. She’s just holding him as he nods again.

He knows she wouldn’t let him fall. He knows that, and that-

“Th-that’s wh-why you can’t let go” he stammers, “I- I can’t h-ho-hold on, and I need too… I need too.. s- so please d-don’t don’t l-let go…”

“…I’m not letting go…” she swears, “…Sweetheart… C’mere, you’re okay…”

Y/N can feel her heart breaking in her chest as she ushers him impossibly closer. As she guides his face even tighter against her neck, lacing her fingers through his hair.

It’s almost made worse by the way that he’s not even trying to stifle the noises he’s making. He’s whimpering, and sobbing and clutching onto her with his one good arm.

She has to fight every instinct she has. Every single one is telling her to hush him- To tell him to settle down, and stop crying so hysterically, but she can’t. She can’t do that, because she knows just how hard it is from him to let go in the first place.

It’s taken him a long time to feel safe enough to show weakness like this. To not burst blood vessels trying to hold back the urge to cry out, to not strain the muscle in his jaw from locking it so tightly—

“I- I’m sorry” he splutters, because he is, he really, truly is, “I-I c-can’t—”

“Shhhhh” she breathes, relishing in the opportunity to soothe him, “you don’t have to be sorry, baby…”

Bucky disagrees, really.

He’s crying. He’s shaking, and he can’t stop, and he shouldn’t have woken her up in the first place, and now he’s keeping her up because he’s broken and scared and—

“Oh, g-god doll, I—” he stammers, “— I’m s-orry”

“I know” she agrees, knowing that brushing it off isn’t helping, “I know you are, but you haven’t done anything wrong…”

His list is burning behind his eyes even though they’re screwed shut.

“Is your arm still hurting you?”

The concern in her voice is thick and obvious. His self-loathing swells as he struggles to flex his fingers, again.

It’s difficult. They’re stiff and unyielding, and the whole left side of his body is aching now. Random moments of agony splintering out from his spine, across his flank.

Lying crosses his mind. He thinks that he should reassure her, tell her not to worry, but then, he feels her arms tightening around him. He feels her lips against his head, pressing kisses against his hair, and the idea of hiding anything from her is impossible.

She feels him nod a split second before she hears the weak little “Yes” that he manages to force past his lips.

“Okay, baby… maybe we should change positions, huh? take the pressure off your shoulder.”

It’s clear that he’s unhappy with her suggestion. Both of his fists tighten around her body in a way that is clearly not deliberate.

At least his hand seems to be working again, she thinks dryly, Even if he’s not doing it on purpose.

“Sweet, sweet boy” she soothes, “Let me look after you, okay? I’m not going to let go, I promise, but we’ve gotta try and get you a little more comfortable…”

Again, he makes himself nod before he can verbally convey his agreement.

“C’mon then” she sighs, preparing herself to manoeuvre his body, “Just relax for me…”

In his defence, Bucky does try. He does his best not to tense up, but the second her front slips away from him, his whole body grows taught, hating how exposed he suddenly feels.

Wide, blue eyes are starring at her the second his face is revealed.

They only grow more panicked as she uncurls her arms from around his body, stroking his cheek instead.

“Shhhhhh…” she exhales, caressing his jaw, “…I’m right here, you’re okay…”

He suddenly looks very small.

That’s ridiculous, really. He’s huge, much bigger than Y/N, and his muscles are taught and glistening, but despite his obvious strength he just seems so incredibly vulnerable.

And then, she can’t help but picture him like this, in different, less safe circumstances.

The image of him lying exposed, on some cold metal surface, waiting for people to come and hurt him— To come and torture him or, or tease him, or scream orders in his face, blinding her for a moment.

No wonder they kept a mask on him, she thinks, He’s too easy to read.

“…Baby boy…” she whispers, thumb brushing across his lower lip like a kiss, “…You wanna talk to me?…”

Bucky sniffles, blinking up at her and trying not to give in and draw her thumb into his mouth in a primal attempt at self-comfort.

He feels his jaw quivering, as he tries to make himself speak, and when he finally does, all scraps of his usual boyish charm are lost in the waver in his voice;

“I- I h-ate this, doll”

She nods considerately, fingers trailing across his face in obvious act of adoration.

“I know you do” she promises, “It’s okay”

Everything about her is so gentle. Her touch, her tone, the way she’s looking at him, every ounce of her presence is protective and loving, and he can’t stop starring at her, trying to capture every second of it.

“Deep breathes for me, huh? While you’re on your back, try and let your ribs relax a little…”

He does his best to obey. Lips parting as he tries to deepen his inhalation.

Y/N smiles at him as he splutters out the exhale, and nods encouragingly as he winces, adjusting to the way his ribs aren’t currently being compressed by his position.

4 of them are vibranium, and all of them have been broken at least once. He’s so used to half-breathes that full ones feel strange.

It aches. It makes him want to cough, which only makes it more uncomfortable, but he knows that shallowness isn’t his friend, especially when he’s crying.

And he is still crying. It’s just silent now, tears melting against Y/N’s fingers as she strokes across his skin.

“You’re lookin’ real lean, sweetheart”

Her gaze is flitting across his chest, eyes lingering on the sharp outline of his muscles, on the ridges caused by the imprint of his ribcage.

His metabolism runs fast, and if she hadn’t spent so long around Steve, she might not have noticed that there’s anything unusual about the way there isn’t an ounce of fat on him anymore, but she has. She has spent a long time around Steve, and, besides that, she’s spent even longer around Bucky. Bucky, who hasn’t been eating properly because he’s used to being fed on a schedule by handlers who cared less about if he was hungry and more about maintaining his optimum physical condition.

“Lean?” he echos, voice shaking.

There’s a crease between his brow. She leans down to kiss it, fingers dropping from his chin, to his chest.

He feels her tracing the outline of his ribs and suddenly feels himself flush with insecurity.

“I don’t think you’re eating enough” she murmurs, pecking his cheek, and hovering above his lips, “Are you hungry, baby?”

Her lips are so close to his, she’s teasing him with the promise of a kiss. With the promise of indulgence, and he’s still trying to deepen his breathing, and her hands are still real low—

“I d-don’t know” he admits, voice almost inaudible, “Maybe?”

“Maybe” she repeats, leaning in to press her lips against his, treating him to a moment of bliss before pulling back just enough to prompt his flesh arm to reach up, holding her close.

Y/N smiles, nose rubbing his as his palm opens and closes against her waist.

“Bucky” she whispers, “Please, promise me that you’ll try and eat a little more during the day?”

Worry is back in her voice. Concern mixing with affection as she goes back to stroking his cheek.

and then he’s nodding, gulping, and simpering and replying with an “I promise” that she rewards with another precious kiss.

“I know it’s not easy” she allows, “I know you’re out of practice, but you’ve gotta take care of yourself… or at least let me take care of you, okay?”

‘Let me take care of you’

Her words echo through his head like a prayer. Swirling amongst the swell of incoherent panic that had been filling it before, fighting back against the bitter sting of pain and that seemed so all encompassing;

He could take any amount of pain if she was there to hold him like this after it was done.

He would take any amount of pain, if it meant that. He’d willingly submit to anything, if it would result in her soothing him this way;

“Please” he breathes, “Please look after me, I- I can’t ri-ght now…and I— I trust you”

The sincerity in his voice hits her like a bullet, and suddenly nothing else in the world matters. Nothing apart from him, and his whispered plea.

She nods, kissing him again before moving to guide him round, helping him shift so that he’s on his side, back against her front, with his metal arm draped carefully over his waist. She moves in closer, knowing how much he relishes her touch, and then she nuzzles into the angry seam of his shoulder, urging it to settle now that there’s no weight on it at all.

One of her arms is mirroring his vibranium one, curling over his ribs so that they’re fingers can lace together at his navel, and the other is up stroking his hair as she presses more kisses against the back of his head.

“Try and get some rest now, sweetheart” she soothes, already knowing that her aim of relieving some of the tension in his body is working, “and when you next wake up, we’ll take a shower, and get breakfast, okay?”

Bucky just nods. Surrendering completely to how hopelessly nice it is to just be held. To be held, and not have to worry about doing anything, because if he has to do something, then she’ll tell him.

His breathing is easier now, too. This new position is a happy medium. His lungs can expand, and his chest feels much less tight, but it doesn’t feel as exposed as lying on his back. He’s still tucked up against her, he’s still holding her hand and feeling her body curled around his in a way that’s awfully protective.

“I love you” is the last thing she hears him say, before he settles into a pattern of deep breathing.

She beams against his hair and tell him that she loves him more, ignoring the shake of his head that her comment earns. She thinks about arguing with him about it. About all the playful ways she could counter his refusal, but instead, she decides to let him have the win.

He hasn’t had enough of those lately. He hasn’t had any, really.

“You win” she concedes, “but I do love you a whole lot, Barnes, more than I could ever tell you, anyway.”

Bucky feels his whole chest swelling with sheer bliss when he hears that. When he hears her, and realises that he believes her.

He has no doubt that she really does love him as much as she says, and that is why he manages to fall back to sleep, despite the aching numbness that had woken him still being very present in his arm.

Y/N doesn’t follow suit. Not right away, anyway.

She stays awake, eyes trained on her partner until she’s sure that he’s settled, which isn’t nearly as quick as you’d think.

Even though he’s sleeping, she thinks his brow looks awfully tight some times.

Every few minutes, a crease will appear between his eyes, his legs might twitch, too, and or his fist will tighten.

and she’ll react.

She’ll whisper out a line about how well he’s doing while she strokes her fingers through his hair to soothe him.

It works well, too.

His body relaxes in response to her voice, and then, he’s back to looking peaceful until the next time his jaw locks.

When the gaps are finally longer between, Y/N lets her eyes flutter shut, relying on instinct to know when to hush the man she’s still very much holding.

That works just as well. The arrangement is clearly well practiced.

So well practiced that Bucky doesn’t wake again until late into the morning.

Masterlist

[iamaboringrattat]

i want mommy to play mind games and lie to me as she plays. i’ll believe them bc mommy knows how to play with her pussy. u know wat it truly needs but i don’t.

i’m laying on my back, with arms place underneath my knees. to be all open for u to touch. ur holding my black bullet vib, turning it on the first setting. starting from the bottom of my slit. i feel u playin with my lips collecting the juices to bring up to my clit hearing how wet ‘she’ is. wanting to tease me u push the toy into my cunt. hold it for a few seconds while i slowly realizing the invasion. i feel u slip it out and place the flat tip on the bottom of my clit. “pull up my pussy and show me that pretty clit of yours for me”

“yes ma’am” i do as i’m told.

“such a good girl for mommy, make sure u hold it”.

movin the vib for the first time u make slow circles around my clit. makin me whiny already. every rotation stopping to press down on the top and bottom of my clit. top bottom. top bottom. top bottom. feels so good i have to squirm i little bit. “you already close sweetheart?” i nod my head and let out a soft and weak “yes ma’am”.

i feel u press of tip of the bullet flat on my whole clit. over my moans u tell me, “make that pussy cum whenever u need sweetheart” kissing my wet pussy lightly. makin me cum for the time, i think.

after i finish soakin the towels for the first time, i think. u begin to flick my clit as u turn the vib up. struggling to buck my hips. “wait. mommy. i just. came.”

u hear me struggle through my sentence as u continue to couch me through my ‘first’ orgasm. “what are u talking about silly? u still have to come for me please. ik it’s a lot but mommy’s gonna help you squirt for me i promise.” flicking up and down quickly and firmly.

up down. up down. up down. makin me squirt for the second time for u, i think. i hear a soft click as u turn up the vib for the last time pushing it hard on my clit. fuck i need u to stop now, i think. my eyes start to get blurry as tears swiftly build up and i cum for the third time, i think.

moaning and squirming as i try to catch my breathe. i slowly start to lose the grip pullin up my clit and my arms holdin up my legs. ur quick with it, “no ma’am, go back to how ur supposed to be” i’m obedient so i do.

u decided to tease me way more by pulling my lips apart and placing the vib on the underside of my clit makin me squirt for the fourth time, i think. it hurts. i’m crying and u don’t care. my pleas get covered up with, “i know u can cum for me. i know it’s a lot but once u cum you’re gonna feel so much better. come on.”

fifth time, i think. sixth time, i think. “mommy. fuck. please. i already came. i already. ahh please.”

“shhhhhh baby what r u talking about, mommy’s pussy hasn’t cum once, she’s only been gushing a little. ik she always does that’s right sluty girl. look and nod at me sweetie”.

i pick up slowly my tear stained face to look at u. “please. it. hurts.”

“what was that baby?” u reply in a serious tone.

“mommy i. i already came. please. fuck. it. hurts-. i’m coming-.”

i feel mommy kiss my pussy and licking me as i cum for the first time. mwah. mwah. mwah. u back away taking everything off. rubbing the inside of my thighs. “see i told u it would make u feel better. u can bring ur legs down. i’m gonna hold u down this time i make u cum”

“what?” i let out a sacred whimper as u grab my knees to open them back up to my chest.

“no no no nooo please no. i already came so-“

“no u didn’t” pinching my clit then plugging my hole with two of ur fingers.

“what dumb whore u don’t know anything do u?”

u pull up ur left hand to spank my desperate clit. “mommy told you that u only came once for. so i have no idea of what ur talking about cuz mommy’s pussy only came once.”

ur palm coming down on my clit twice then to pinch it again. with no warning u push a third finger into my cunt. as u pin both of my knees with one arm and gain access to suck on my clit. hard. my useless attempt to grab and push u away makes u laugh in my pussy causing vibrations makin me try again. i’m close again.

“ur not allowed to cum slut. awe did u wanna cum bby? but u we’re just beggin for me to stop. god ur so dumb. just shut up for and hold it.”

ur mouth on my clit makes me squirmy. ur lips sucking so hard then playing with mommy’s clit with the tip of ur tongue. still raming ur fingers deep inside my cunt.

“omg. omg. oh my fuckin god. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry i don’t know what i’m talking about”

i ramble franticly and cover my mouth with my hands. letting out a pathetic scream, my eyes glossing over again.

“calm down sweetie, god damn ur so dumb and needy. u can cum for me.”

i’ve been waiting on this but i’m scared what if ur lying. but ik mommy wouldn’t lie to be. “come on, hurry up bby”

u feel me clenching and finally coming for the second time. mwah. mwah. mwah. u slap my pussy one more time to see scared my face gets. squirmin to my side with my legs closed. pussy wet and throbbing as i twitch and moan into my hands. placing ur hands on my upper thighs near my clit and my waist. poking my swollen clit.

“why are u so sensitive sweetheart?” u kiss my face as u roll my clit under ur fingers to calm me down.

[pumpkinsy0]

headcanons for what purly get up to in like casual day to day life? (they drive me crazy they’re like the rats in the walls of my brain)

reaaaaaallllll

•ok all bs aside, i think they do dumb things daily, but its on a scale, yknow??? the crazy things i say they do def do happen but not AS often as it seems!!!

•they like, never 100% know where the other is, they have an IDEA, but they just ask around till they find each other,,,like two rat lovers in a maze,,,the prize isnt the cheese,,,but its finding the other, THATS,,,the real exit,,

•id like to think that curly brings pony along to help him fuck w his #enemies!! DOES pony wanna b apart of the beef??? not not rlly, but as long as it doesnt involve straight up jumping them, pony’ll go, ponys loyal but not “im not gonna help u jump someone idk” kinda loyal

•on a similar note, dare i say sometimes curly also takes pony along to do some of tims work w him, they arent THAT dangerous otherwise tim wouldnt let curly do it, plus all pony rlly does is stay in the car, curly likes it that way bc 1) makes him look more cool and mysterious 2) keeps pony safe

•they argue all the time, its just not BAD arguments, i mean yea they tend to tell but thats bc they dont have inside voices. if ur hanging out w them, expect to b a thirdwheel until they ask u to pick a side

•a solid amount of ponys clothes is thrifted, when darry gives pony money to go and get clothes, curly tags along and treats it like theyre gonna go on a honeymoon, “u would look great in this😏😏”, and the shirt would break if pony even attempted to try it on, he needs the clothes to LAST

•shhhh dont tell anyone i told u but they try to sneak into bucks place sometimes shhhhhh, but it never works so they just hang out at an arcade, particularly the pinball machine

•if u r a store owner and these two walk in, do urself a favor and accept that today u lost more money than u gained, 60s version of bonnie and clyde over here

•loveee carving their initials anywhere they can, they claim their territory bc they think theyre sm better than all the other couples in tulsa (they r but whatever🙄)

•ponybknows curly doesnt have much food at home so when its ponys turn to cook at his place, he asks if curly wants to come over, and chances r curly will agree. not bc hes hungry, but bc he wants to see his MALEWIFE in action

•ok look if curlys hair is in braids or whatever, pony helps him take it out, this is a good and bad thing bc sometimes curlys hair tangles up either bc he didnt take proper care of his braids while it WAS in braids or bc pony somehow messed up while talking them out

•they talk about the future wayyyy more than ppl would think!! while curlys wayyy more of a “im in the present im gonna live it up” baby, he thinks about what he wants to do NOW in order to b tougher and fiercer in the future, and i dont need to talk about pony and the future now, BUT MY POINT IS, they have their down times where they share their hopes!!

[hydr0phius]

Some crack summaries (and just general notes) of Greater Good like how I did with Chaos Rising

Ar'alani: We have technology to aim our weapons with but I'm going to just eyeball this shot here.

...

Thalias: *enters the bridge, is exhausted*

Samakro: Wow, you look like shit.

Thalias: Thanks so much. I really appreciate that.

...

The side of Thaliamakro in this book has me giggling and kicking my feet. If they don't get together romantically I am still here for the friendship. I love them skdjfhsdjf. SAMAKRO SHE'S NOT A SPY THOUGH, MATE-

...

Laknym & Thalias: *open their mouths to explain something to Che'ri or to ask a question of each other while they're down in secondary command*

Kharill: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thalias: We're-

Kharill: SHHHHHH. NO. NO TALKING. SHUSH.

...

The ominous things being hinted at about the Stybla family's past (the most vicious warriors etc). I'm intrigued. Tell me MORE.

...

*Samakro & Thrawn talking about keeping the Magys on the Springhawk & it's low key an argument*

Samakro: And what do you suppose the Syndicure will think of this?

Lakinda, internally: I hope I don't get dragged into this.

Thrawn: Actually, I wasn't going to tell them *looks at Lakinda*

Lakinda, now officially in the argument: Uhhhh

...

Lakinda: STUPID THRAWN TAKING ALL THE DAMN GLORY!!!!! I DISLIKE THIS MF-

...

Thalias: *wakes up*

The Magys in hibernation:

Thalias: Who the fuck put that the- wait, I said Thrawn and Samakro could put it here. Uh. *proceeds to dress for the day throwing side eye looks at the hibernation chamber and wondering if the magys is just suddenly going to wake up and jump scare her (she's not)*

...

Thalias: *opens the door*

Che'ri, instantly looking inside: WHat's ThAt-

Thalias: A coffin!

Che'ri:

Thalias:

Che'ri: That's a bit weird.

Thalias: The Magys is in hibernation to stop her from offing herself.

Che'ri: o h.

...

Ba'kif: *giving the new orders for Thrawn to be shifted out to the Paataatus again, except there's a lot of political shit going on at the same time*

Samakro: *needling for a bit more info in a subtle way*

Thrawn: *no fucking idea what's happening, but not too pleased about going to the Paataatus hive-home world when he's got a Magys in hibernation in Thalias' room and a puzzle to solve back on Sunrise*

...

Jixtus having music and beanbags at his meeting with Haplif. Haplif struggling to get out of the beanbag with dignity. Jixtus telling him he should bird watch more often.

...

Thurfian: *frothing at the mouth with sheer rage after hearing about the scuffle over Sunrise with the unknown dreadnaught + Lakinda's assistance*

Zistalmu: *approaches*

Thurfian, internally: What if I just laid into him? What if I gave him a verbal lashing? A bit of a tickle up? I'd feel better if I tore something to shreds-

(Also Thurfian): Don't do that. Focus on the end game. FOCUS ON THE END GAME.

Zistalmu: You look happy.

Thurfian: Fuck you-

...

Lakjiip: Look at this *hands Lakuviv the metal report from the Agbui jewellery*

Lakuviv:

Lakuviv: THat's fucKING NYIX ALLOY-

Lakjiip: I KNOW

...

Haplif: *does anything*

Lakphro: What are you planning??? I'll find out. I'll know-

...

Lakjiip: Tell no one of these brooches.

Lakphro: Of course.

*later*

Lakphro: *calls his cousin who is married to a scientist who has connections with other scientists that work with metals etc* Hey so there's this jewellery I'm going to send it to you in the mail-

...

Lakbulbup: Send it through express post.

Lakphro: Have you SEEN the rates for that lately????

...

Qilori of fucking Uandualon. Back again and causing havoc we're all going to see later. He's going to be the reason the skywalkers are targeted by the Grysk, isn't he...

...

Shimkif: Marry me.

Haplif: wHAt-

Shimkif: It'll gain Yoponek and Yomie's trust. It'll be fake too

Haplif: Oh ok.

...

Shimkif: Sorry I was gone so long. I was busy poisoning birds.

Haplif: Amazing.

Yomie: I found another migration up north.

Haplif, internally: No the hell you did not-

...

Haplif: I don't like birds. I've had enough of birds.

Shimkif: *poisons Yomie*

Haplif: Nice, we're out of here.

***

RIP Yomie, you had the brains to figure the Agbui out, but your silly fiancé did not and now we're in a bit of a pickle. Haplif giving Yoponek the brooch he took from Yomie's corpse to Yoponek and telling him she left it for him to pin it to her dress on their wedding day when they met again and Yoponek just believing that day will come and meanwhile Yomie's floating in the damn VOID-

I'm sad about them.

...

Ar'alani: You need to identify yourselves.

Battle Dreadnaught: We've been begged by the people of this world to protect them from threats.

Ar'alani: Oh, so you've talked with the Magys, too?

BD: The what?

Ar'alani: The leader of the people of Sunrise.

BD: Never heard of it.

BD: We were begged though. We will get rid of you if you don't leave.

Ar'alani: Mate-

...

Ar'alani: You need to bring that asteroid's missile with you

Lakinda: Ok.

*later & with no asteroid missile (too slow to get it out intact in time to provide aid to the Vigilant)*

Ar'alani: uUUhhhhh we might not do well with this now...

*more battle. Lakinda lays into the damaged side of the Dreadnaught and pretty much takes it out after Ar'alani draws enemy fire to her ship.*

Ar'alani: Yeah, nice.

...

Lakinda: Oh my stars, what if Thrawn's not even that good? What if it was just Ar'alani all along- no. No, he is good. He just learned from the best. *is a little bit obsessed with Ar'alani and Thrawn's history*

...

Ar'alani: Ok, Csilla said you have to go help Thrawn with the pirates, but I know you have beef with him-

Lakinda: I do NOT have beef with Thrawn.

Ar'alani: You get this annoyed look and tone whenever you interact with him even if he's not being annoying.

Ar'alani: Anyway, as Admiral I can just keep you here if you don't want to go.

Lakinda: No, it's fine.

Ar'alani: Sure.

...

HHhhh ok. Haplif is getting so much Chiss info and Lakuviv and Co. are completely unaware they're being played and I'm scared about how this whole thing with the Nyix mines is going to play out.

...

Lakbulbup: Hey so there's this guy called Senior Captain Thrawn and he's good with analysing art-

Lakphro: Yeah fine. Send the brooch to him.

...

Captain Fsir: aaaaa help, we're being attacked by Vagaari scouts.

Thrawn, off mic to the bridge crew: This is a set up.

...

Thrawn: I have a plan but I need to see inside your ship first.

Fsir: What-

(He got invited over and took them down so fast at the "pirate base" because of it lmao).

...

Lakooni: *comm dies after she sends the emergency family summons* LAKUVIV. Your comm is shiet

Lakuviv: That officer you were talking to was me, I'm sorry it had to go this way *pulls a blaster on her* if you'll follow me to my private rooms-

Lakooni, absolutely furious: I'm going to fuck you up so bad for this, do you even know? Do you know what you've unleashed? I'll end your entire career, you backstabbing son of a bi-

Lakuviv: *raises blaster a bit higher*

Lakooni: FIne.

(I can't be the only one whose mind went straight to the gutter and wondered if AO3 had anything with them jxfkjeasdfkjsd)

...

Every time someone says "yeah, we'll swing by," (which is a lot actually now that I think about it) gave me a bit of a giggle. It made conversation feel more real.

...

Lakinda when the summons came through: Ok but does Thrawn NEED me there? no. He just needs my ship *leaves*

...

Apros when Grayshrike eventually meets up with Springhawk: Lakinda got called away on a family emergency order put out to all CEDF Xodlak that weren't in immediate battles or on critical missions.

Thrawn, pissed: WHAt-

Samakro, also pissed and angry at Apros: DID YOU TRY TO STOP HER?

Apros, not able to be pissed with Thrawn because he's higher rank, but able to be pissed with Samakro because they're the same rank and therefore fair game: YES. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I NOT?

Apros: oh btw, Thrawn, she said this had come for you *gives him Lakphro's brooch*

Thrawn: Ooh, pretty.

...

Thrawn to the Magys: Wakey wakey, do you know what this is? *holds up the brooch*

The Magys: The work of my people. It looks new, though.

Thalias: surprise, they're not dead.

The Magys: There is hope!

*when they've put The Magys back into hibernation*

Thrawn: We also have three families being scammed.

Samakro: *grumpy noises*

...

Lakinda, just woken up: What do you want?

Thrawn over comms: You're being scammed. There are no mines. It's a set up.

Lakinda: Damn.

Thrawn: I have a plan though!

Lakinda once he's explained: From the bottom of my heart, what the fuck-

Samakro: That's insane actually.

Thrawn: Well if you two come up with anything better, let me know <3

...

Samakro convincing everyone that Thrawn's plans are strictly military and that he's got no clue with politics and doesn't know how to play them anyway (which is still wild to me tbh. I don't believe it) and then even convincing himself on it too/that Thrawn's their best commander even if his plans are insane sometimes.

...

I'm still processing the 3 families showdown over Sunrise but Thrawn's plan worked a treat even with family politics fucking up Lakinda's end (my girl got thrown in the brig for talking to Thrawn/warning him that at the end of this the embarrassment at finding out they were being scammed would have worse fallout than the actual fight that they didn't think of when they were making the plan).

...

Lakinda: Oh my gods it was Ar'alani copying Thrawn's tactics the whole time-

...

Thyklo: Patriarch Thooraki is dead.

Thurfian: Ah. Condolences.

Thyklo: You're replacing him.

Thurfian: It is an honour.

Thurfian, internally: holy FUCK- Zistalmu is going to lose his damn mind lmfao.

[urdrowning]

Okay so Ona piano idea:

Edit: OH MY GOD I apologise, I honestly started this thinking I would just quickly put down some ideas and then I ended up writing this whole thing... Well I hope you like it. (also I recommend listening to the pieces whilst reading it, really adds to the story. I put the youtube links in there)

Whenever you're playing piano Ona gets completely distracted and just stops doing whatever she was doing before to stare at your hands, completely mesmerised by the movements of your fingers tickling the ivories. 

The first time this happens is when you've just become roommates. You'd finally gotten a piano in your shared apartment and you decide to try it out, whilst Ona is doing the dishes. You start playing Maybe by Yiruma (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wg_JpVHkio), because you've played it so many times that it was etched into your muscle memory. At first you're too lost in the music to notice your roommate staring at you, but after about 4 phrases, you are suddenly startled by the sound of cutlery crashing to the floor. When you look up you find Ona looking at you with wide eyes, bright red cheeks and a flustered expression. "Sorry, it just slipped away from me. Please continue." She says as she picks everything up and proceeds to continue washing the dishes. You giggle as you start playing again from the top. Only this time, you notice the sound of the dishes being washed disappearing as soon as you start playing. You turn your head ever so slightly towards the kitchen and you notice Ona has indeed stopped what she was doing, but as soon as your eyes meet hers (which had been focussed on your fingers before you turned around), she suddenly averts her gaze back to the sink and pretends to focus on a particularly stubborn stain on one of the plates in there.

The second time it happens is when later that week, some of your United teammates come over to your place and someone asks you to play something. You decide to try and impress them with your piano cover of Fly me to the moon (that goes a little something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5X0ln7lP-w). Some of the girls gather around the piano to watch, but Ona is still sitting on the couch with some otters, chatting about something. When she hears the sound of the piano however, she completely forgets what she was talking about. She stops speaking mid sentence and without even realising it moves her head to look past the other girls and get a better view of the girl behind the piano: you. "Ona what where you-" "shhhhhh" she rudely shushes Millie. When you approach the second chorus, Ella opens her mouth to start singing along: "FLYYY ME TO TH- ouch!" She stops as she feels an elbow collide harshly with her shoulder and she finds Ona sending her a stern glare.

The third time is when you have just arrived back home after an intense match. You sit down on the piano stool whilst the two of you are still discussing everything that happened on the field today, and you start absentmindedly tickling the ivories. "But be honest, were you on time with that slide tackle or should it have been a foul?" You ask whilst your fingers roam the clavier, fiddling around on auto pilot in the key of G-minor. You turn your around when you don't get an answer but your hands don't leave the piano. Ona doesn't look you in the eyes, instead her gaze is glued onto your hands, following their every movement. "Ona?" You ask as you now fully turn around, forcing you to stop playing. Ona blinks as she lightly shakes head left and right. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

By the forth time you have noticed the pattern and you decide to inquire her about it. "Ona, you know you don't have to be polite and drop everything you're doing whenever I am playing piano to listen right?" You ask, her eyes widening at your observation. "Yeah I know, I just- It's... distracting." she says hesitantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll just play when you're out then." you say, immediately feeling guilty because she probably finds your practicing annoying. "No, no, please, no, that's not what I meant. I like it, I really do. So much I can't stop watching you play. You really look b- sound beautiful.. I mean it- It sounds beautiful when you play." she stammers shyly. "Oh. Thanks."

The fifth time Ona decides to get ahead of the distraction as soon as she sees you sitting down behind the piano. "Can you show me?" she asks with a shy smile on her face. "Sure, come here." you say as you scoot over a bit and pat the now empty spot next to you. The chair is far too small for the both of you and you almost fall off your side, only being stopped by Ona's arm quickly wrapping around you. You feel your cheeks flushing so you quickly start playing a piece you've just learned called The Dream of You by Tim Neumark (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-Cm7QHjB8U). You immediately regret playing the relatively new piece, because Ona's arm still being wrapped around you sends butterflies to your stomach and this time, you're the distracted one. It only gets worse when halfway during the piece, she softly lays her head on your shoulder. You sloppily make your way trough the piece, hoping Ona didn't notice all of the mistakes you made. You can feel her body moving up and down as her breathing relaxes, and when you glance to the side, you notice she has closed her eyes this time. When you play your last notes, you keep your foot on the pedal, letting the sound die out naturally, and you suddenly feel your heart rate starting to rise. Surely Ona must notice this as her head is still on your shoulder and your heart is basically pounding out of your chest at this point. She slowly starts lifting your head but she doesn't move backwards, leaving only about five centimeters between your faces. "Y/N?" she almost whispers, "Can I-" "Yes." You interrupt her. A smile forms on her lips before she closes the small gap between you.

piano anon this is my official request for you to start writing, i am in-love with your mind. this is absolutely incredible i would give ANYTHING for this to be a full fic 🫶

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE !!! THE IDEA OF ONA JUST INSTANTLY MELTING INTO A RELAXED STATE WHEN YOU PLAY THE SLIGHTEST PART OF A SONG.. i’m gonna actually melt.

the last part where she rests her head on your shoulder while cuddling into your side.. i’m actually gonna melt 🫠 like it actually made me giggly and all. i’d like to imagine on some nights when ona feels homesick or has had a bad day training she asks you to play for her to make her feel better, and while you play she ends up falling asleep cuddled into your side :,)

[real-life-senshi]

10 (Mostly) Spoiler-Free Reasons to Watch Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon 2003 Live Action

A countdown to the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!

Reason 6: A more developed ✨Miracle Romance✨!

How can one ever talk about Sailor Moon without discussing the most iconic and legendary couple in history that rivals Romeo and Juliet - Usagi & Mamoru?

Had the live-action done this couple's story dirty, they might as well chuck the whole project out the window! Thankfully, they didn't screw it up, and in fact, I personally think their love story got a further glow-up!

A more well-rounded developed relationship

The live-action gave more space and time to develop Mamoru and Usagi's relationship, making it more believable, and realistic, and proving to the audience their feelings for each other are genuinely mutual! It started off with an almost antagonistic, pigtail-pulling relationship, developing into what seems to be a "one-sided" crush because they are both so oblivious, to mutual love and respect.

Like seriously - this is how Usamamo meets in Act 1 (shhhhhh, it's Act 1, barely a spoiler):

While technically this is also another spoiler, I'm going to say it anyway to highlight the difference here: Basically, Usagi falls in love with Mamoru AND comes to terms that she's in love with Mamoru and "not Tuxedo Mask" before finding out Mamoru's true identity and their shared past life. I think this is such an important, and much better narrative because it leaves no room for debate that Usagi is in love with Mamoru for the right reasons, instead of being in love with the idea of him because he's Tuxedo Mask and it's romantic. In fact, how romantic it is to consider Usagi fell in love with the same person twice without realizing it???? I think that’s romantic!

To me, there's a difference between "they are bound to fall in love with each other because it is their destiny" versus "they fell in love with each other just as it was foretold by destiny". The live-action strictly falls into the latter category. It's all a matter of choice and agency from the characters!

More dramarama!

The live-action seriously amped up the drama between the two of them, on both fronts regarding their personal lives and also their heroic lives! The additional dramatic elements (that I will NOT spoil) created a heightened "will they, won't they" tension that will make UsaMamo fans anxious to watch. There's quite a bit of mutual pining for Usamamo fans to look forward to in the live-action!

Angst is also a must in the live-action universe, and it's a treat to watch these two coming together trying to defy the odds. Even the filming angle and post-production editing go all out to amp that up!

Minimal "damsel in distress" routine, reverse or otherwise!

I know... it's a running gag in the manga and anime universe that Mamoru always gets kidnapped or brainwashed. Thankfully, the live-action took a different trajectory with their storytelling.

That's not to say there's zero kidnapping/held hostage-type situation, etc. But even in such scenarios, the Prince of Earth always is still in control and does everything he can to ultimately come to a resolution in his own way.

Personally, I don't care much for Mamoru in manga and anime verse, thinking he's just there to make Usagi look good, but I actually like Mamoru's character in the live-action. No matter as Tuxedo Kamen or Prince Endymion, he has quite a bit of involvement in battle scenes. And he is ACTUALLY competent and pairs up really well with Usagi as a couple and with Sailor Moon as a fighter. Some of their duo fight scenes are really cool!

Oh. And there's none of the "kissing you while you are asleep/unconscious" stuff. I'm not going to argue it wasn't romantic in the manga, etc. But times have changed since the original material was written/drawn, and I don't think that's something that will fly well with people in this current age and time. The live-action caught on with the time and used other techniques to make the romance pop instead, and for that I am thankful!

Opposite attracts

Mamoru is written a bit differently than manga and anime. Mamoru's more aloof, prickly, and definitely tsundere. He becomes awkward when he warms up, which is really adorable to see. Also, he wears leather jacket and rides a motorcycle, which amps up his "cool" factor by... A LOT!!!

Usagi is mostly the same as manga and anime, but less crybaby. Like I mentioned before in part 2 of this, Usagi is not exaggeratedly "stupid", just slower, and appropriately immature and innocent for someone her age who hasn't experienced much adversaries until the Senshi business. (No, butt-heading with your little brother doesn't count. lol)

So all's to say in the live-action, they really build up this whole opposite-attracts kind of deal with Usamamo, and where Usagi had to work to see through Mamoru's prickly exterior and soften him up.

Also, I think they cast Mamoru and Usagi really well. Just look at their height difference! Another thing that makes them look so good together????

You can watch the subbed versions of the series at:

Miss Dream Fansubs

Sea of Serenity Fansubs

The series is also on other online streaming sites, but be cautious to only visit them with good adware and firewall installed.

5 days till the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

[spidey-official]

There was a bang on the roof of my house just now,,, was that u,,,, i have bandaids????

uhhhh i have noooo idea what you're talking about shhhh shush shush I just escaped mr stark I think you might be hearing things shhhhhh it was probably the wind

[nuu-art-blog]

spoiler warning for Last note of the Golden Witch

1: Me, happy that I get to experience Last note of the Golden Witch for the first time through the nezumiva streams, since I hadn't gotten around to seeking it out for myself yet

2: My darling beloved dearest who I liveblogged Umineko to when I first read it so they sort of know everything that happens but didn't read it themselves, however, likes reading wiki pages: "No way, Asumu had a witchsona"

1: "Huh, must be a manga thing, cause I don't remember that."

2: sends me a Dot Jpeg

1: Me, who had seen the character before but had escaped knowledge of the character's name before now: "THAT'S ASUMU????"

2: "Nooooo she's not Asumu shhhhhh, I must've read that wrong,"

1: "Once something is learned it cannot be unlearned..."

[more stuff under the cut]

Okay, first here I want to introduce a new Witch OC of mine; Zero, the Witch of Chaos

[Witch Description: When most witches discuss fragments, though there are infinitely many, they are mainly focused on fragments that follow the same rules as each other. Zero, the Witch of Chaos, exists outside of those rules and structures. They can see fragments of infinitely many different rules, and of each ruleset, infinitely many scenarios. Zero fights by creating noise and confusion around the truth by using the tool they call the Magenta Truth- statements that have the level of red truth in at least one fragment. Though the Magenta Truth is easily possible to disprove if it does not apply to the fragment taking place, it is more akin to creating a haystack to cover a needle. Some witches dislike Zero, viewing their inclusion of fragments with contradictory rules as disrespectful to the rules of an individual fragment; however, from Zero's perspective, every fragment is true to itself, and thus all hold equal value to each other.]

And now after rambling about all that, I'd also like to talk about the design process too. Their name is obviously the number, 0, and I chose it because 0 is both a real number and an imaginary number.

Their design also incorporates a lot of magenta because the color magenta technically doesn't exist either- there is no wavelength of light for magenta.

Then, with the magenta, I also employed a bit of the magenta-cyan-yellow color wheel, where the left half of the shirt on their design is a darker cyan and the right half of their shirt is a lighter yellow. Even if it might be on theme, I didn't want to use pure cyan and pure yellow because it would have felt too noisy to me.

Of course, speaking about noise in the design, there's a lot of asymmetry. Mismatched hair and mismatched attire and mismatched earrings

To be honest, the idea for the theme originated in joke continuation of the theme from the last time I did art for the stream, that being the Sonic crossover stuff, so the thought process was like Chaos emeralds, Chaos control -> witch of Chaos, but despite that I'm actually really happy with how this oc turned out? I feel like they can stand on their own, even outside of the joke.

However, I am hopelessly and endlessly committed to the bit, so-

Last time I did art and related memes, one of the included things was this,

and now that some time has passed I can say that I have done this Further Research and I'd like to report my findings;

Kanon is not Shadow, but Somebody Else Is. Consider the following traits.

Of course, one of the very defining things for Shadow's character is that he lost Maria and Gerald, who are family to his eyes, and this tragedy changed him

When he's brought back, all he can think about is getting revenge for the family he lost

His mission is the only thing that matters to him at this point

Eventually comes to realize this isn't what Maria wanted for him at all and spends the last act of the game helping to avert the disaster he set up

And with all this laid out, obviously the real Shadow The Hedgehog parallel is Ange Ushiromiya, and though this also started as a joke I've thought about this way too much now. If Ange and Shadow aren't the same characters then um what's this?

Checkmate. So I also drew Ange in the pose from the beginning of SA2 where Sonic sees Shadow for the first time.

"It all starts with this... a Book containing the Single Truth!"

[forabeatofadrum]

The Class Menagerie

Summary: Kurt is a pre-school teacher at a school that has a huge variety of animals to care for. Unfortunately, one day, Kurt finds out that ten of them have escaped their cages. Luckily, a new trainee teacher named Blaine, offers to help him out.

Notes: Hello, hello, welcome to The Class Menagerie, my fic for the Klaine Back-To-School challenge, hosted by @the-lima-bean. There are animals!

The title was given to me by an anon on Tumblr, so anon, if you're reading this, thank you!!!!

Also, also, don't try to wrap your head around why this random pre-school in New York has this variety of animals. It is my fic and I get to decide the reality of the situation!

I hope you enjoy.

AO3 | S&C

--

Kurt is about to lose his mind. He has no idea where it has gone wrong, but it has gone wrong.

"Fuck," he yells, because he's fucked. He is so totally fucked. It's his third year as a pre-school teacher and this has never happened before.

He needs to reel in the swearing before the kids arrive. He also needs to fix this mess before the kids arrive.

They will be devastated if they find out that ten of the classroom pets have gone missing.

"Fuck!" Kurt says again. How did this happen? These animals are all specially cared for. They live here in special cages. This classroom is reserved for them. Kids come here to see the animals, not the other way around.

Suddenly, Kurt hears a voice.

"Everything all right in here?" he hears, "I heard swearing."

Blaine Anderson is leaning in the doorframe and he has no right looking that good while doing so. Kurt knows of him. Blaine joined this pre-school’s staff as a trainee teacher a week ago. He mostly helps out in Mercedes’s class, so Kurt hasn’t gotten a chance to properly talk to him yet. Sure, they’ve exchanged some words, but Kurt would love to get to know him more properly.

Unfortunately for him, Blaine just happened to walk into an awkward situation.

Then he realises that the animals might be in the room.

“Close the door!” he frantically yells towards Blaine.

Blaine is shocked, but he manages to do so.

“What’s going on?” he asks, looking alarmed.

“We lost ten animals,” Kurt gestures around. Blaine takes in his surroundings and he sees the empty cages. His eyes widen when the realisation hits him.

“How did this happen?” Blaine asks frantically.

“I don’t know!” Kurt answers, sounding equally frantic, “I came in around eight, since my class will visit the fur babies first, and this is what I found. I don’t know how long they’ve been out. Or how they got out in the first place.”

Blaine checks his watch and Kurt sees the realisation sink in. They need to find these animals fast, otherwise they will have to deal with a lot of upset and potentially crying pre-schoolers.

“Check every corner, now!” Blaine yells.

It doesn’t have to be said twice.

Both Kurt and Blaine sprint towards the corners, but to no avail. Kurt’s about to tear his hair out, which is saying something cause usually nothing would allow Kurt to mess up his hair.

Then he hears it.

“Shhhh!” he shushes Blaine.

“What?”

“Shhhhhh!”

It is dead silent and that’s when Kurt can hear it more clearly. It’s a squeaking noise. It’s the sound of a little hamster. Kurt and Blaine follow the sound.

“Let me check,” Blaine says and the next thing Kurt knows, Blaine’s on the floor. He’s trying to see if he can spot the hamster underneath the furniture.

Kurt looks at Blaine and he reminds himself that he’s at work.

“I think there is an animal there!”

“Toffee?”

“Toffee?” Blaine asks.

“The hamster is named Toffee,” Kurt says.

Blaine slowly gets up and Kurt holds out his hand to help him. Blaine takes it and once Blaine’s up, he doesn’t let go. He doesn’t seem to notice. Should Kurt comment on it?

“Who are we missing, apart from Toffee?” Blaine asks and Kurt reminds himself to stay focused.

“Uh…”

“Kurt?”

“Right!” Kurt snaps out of it and he gets out of Blaine’s grip. Kurt sees that Blaine quickly looks down to his hand, but he also doesn’t comment on it and Kurt turns away to check the cages.

Kurt quickly makes a list of all the missing animals and his frustration only grows. He knows that ten are missing, but now that he knows who are missing, it becomes more real. They’ve already found Toffee, but they need to find two baby rabbits, a baby ferret, a baby meerkat, one guinea pig, a chinchilla, a rat, a hedgehog and a mouse. Usually, Kurt is proud of this school’s boastful collection, but now he wishes that they weren’t known for this.

“Kurt, help!” he hears and when Kurt turns around, he sees that Blaine is stuck.

“What happened?”

“I tried to reach Toffee, to no avail! I tried to reach through this gap between the cabinet and the wall,” Blaine says, “Could you help me move this cabinet?”

“Oh Blaine,” Kurt laughs, “This cabinet has wheels!”

“… Oh.”

Kurt takes the brake of the wheels and Blaine uses his free hand to push the cabinet aside and Kurt has to stop himself from laughing. Blaine looks so bewildered.

“Well, Toffee is accounted for,” Kurt says as he reaches down to pick up Toffee, “Although I am afraid it’s not going to be as easy to find the others.”

Blaine checks his watch.

“What are we going to do?”

“Let me send a message to Rachel,” Kurt says, “She can welcome my class.”

Rachel isn’t a full-time teacher. She sometimes gives music classes to the kids, but Kurt happens to know that she doesn’t have a class this morning and she’s at school. She likes to get here early to prepare.

Kurt quickly sends her a message, explaining the situation.

Meanwhile, Blaine is listening attentively for more sounds. He’s following something.

“Kurt, I think I found something,” he whispers.

Kurt presses send and he hopes Rachel sees it in time, otherwise they’ll be in big trouble.

Blaine’s crouched down in front of a bookcase. The bookcase is filled with informative children’s books about all the animals in the classroom, including the one who is currently sleeping behind the bookcase.

It’s Waffle, the chinchilla.

“Waffle!” Kurt whispers excitedly.

“Did you all name them after food?”

“I didn’t name them,” Kurt answers, “Some kids named them and they aren’t all named after food. Most are, though.”

“What name would you give to your pet?”

Kurt stops and think. He doesn’t really know. He’s never thought about it, since his landlord doesn’t allow pets and even if they did, Kurt wouldn’t have the space.

“I don’t know. You?” he casts the question back.

“Mimi,” Blaine answers.

“Mimi,” Kurt repeats, “I like the sound of that.”

“Thanks, I’ll tell her.”

“You have a pet?”

Blaine nods happily.

“Yes, wanna see a photo of her?”

Kurt would love to, but just at that moment, Waffle chooses to wake up. Kurt and Blaine’s heads jerk back towards the bookcase. They can hear Waffle making noises. It seems like the chinchilla hasn’t moved yet, so now is their chance.

The bookcase doesn’t have wheels, though, so Kurt carefully stars taking books off the lowest shelf. He hopes that Waffle won’t be scared. Blaine is in position to grab Waffle.

It works and Blaine carefully puts Waffle back in the cage. Two down, eight to go.

“This is a nightmare,” Kurt groans out.

“At least we’re together,” Blaine laughs.

“Huh?”

“I mean, the two of us. Here. Two is better than one. We’re faster!” Blaine says quickly.

“Exactly,” Kurt says.

“So, uh, do you want to see a photo of Mimi?”

“Absolutely.”

Blaine whips out his phone and his background is a photo of Mimi wearing a rainbow bandana, so he doesn’t have to sift through photos. Mimi is a cute light brown cavalier king Charles spaniel. Kurt focuses on the bandana.

“Oh, yeah, she wore this for Pride.”

Kurt already heard through others that Blaine is gay, but this confirms it for him.

“Very stylish,” Kurt says back.

“How about this? Let’s have some fun!”

Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“For every animal we find, I show you a Mimi photo.”

Kurt lets out a laugh. Blaine is adorable.

“Deal.”

The two of them continue to search the classroom and Kurt thinks he can hear some stomping coming from one corner. He moves the furniture so that he can get a better view.

“Oh!”

“What?” Blaine asks from the other side.

“You should see this for yourself.”

Blaine moves to stand next to Kurt and his eyes also widen. Then he looks amused.

“This is why they call it breeding like rabbits,” he says.

“Do we… interrupt them?” Kurt asks.

“Maybe we’ll come back to these later. At least we know where they are now.”

Kurt moves the furniture back, now in a way to prevent them from easily running away from that spot, and Kurt and Blaine continue their search.

They find Noodle the hedgehog in the open cupboard with all the food. Kurt carefully wraps him in a towel so that Kurt won’t get hurt. Blaine cleans up the bag of food that Noodle demolished.

Afterwards, Blaine shows Kurt a photo of Mimi wearing a raincoat.

Blaine then has the idea to use the leftover food to potentially lure an animal out of hiding. He places it on the ground and he and Kurt move behind the cages. Lo and behold, Crumpet the guinea pig crawls out of a box with toys.

Even though Blaine is the one who came up the plan, Kurt still feels like he’s being rewarded when Blaine shows him a photo of Mimi sleeping with her head tucked between her paws.

“It’s so dark in here,” Kurt says, “Maybe some additional light will help the search.”

Kurt then draws the curtains open and Nathaniel the rat jumps on him from the windowsill. Kurt shrieks in shock and Nathaniel jumps off him and runs away.

“Bad girl!”

Blaine runs after her and dives to the floor in order to prevent her from hiding in another tight spot.

“I got her!” Blaine yells, “I got- Ouch! She bit me!”

Luckily, instead of hiding in that tight spot, Nathaniel zooms across the classroom. Kurt tries to catch her. He feels a bit bad for her, because she is clearly stressed, so Kurt makes a mental note to tell the kids to give her an extra treat later.

“Nathaniel, please just work with us!”

“She’s named Nathaniel?”

“Yes! Again, kids named these animals!”

Eventually, both Kurt and Blaine push her towards a corner. Luckily, she doesn’t jump on Kurt again, or Blaine, so they manage to carefully pick her up. Blaine places her back into her cage and Kurt’s left behind to clean up the poops, because Nathaniel pooped in fear.

By the time everything is clean, the bunnies have also finished their business, so Kurt and Blaine put them back in their cages as well. Luckily, they were too tired to run away. Besides, Kurt suspects that they don’t mind being in the cage as long as they’re together.

“That calls for 3 Mimi photos!” Blaine says.

“We fucking need it,” Kurt says back.

“Language, Mr. Hummel!” Blaine laughs.

“The kids aren’t here yet. Let me have this.”

“You can have this instead,” Blaine holds out his phone to show him a photo of Mimi running in the grass. Then he swipes to one of Mimi chewing a toy, and then to one of Mimi with a squirrel.

“That’s Watson,” Blaine explains, “He lives in Central Park and he’s Mimi’s best friend.”

Kurt coos. Of course Mimi has made a friend in the park.

“Alright, three left,” Kurt says and he quickly checks his phone. Rachel has sent him a thumbs up emoji and Kurt lets out a sigh of relief. He’ll deal with the repercussions of all of this later, but first he and Blaine have three more animals left to catch.

“Where the hell could they be?” Blaine ponders out loud.

He has a point. Kurt feels like he’s scoured every nook and cranny of this classroom, but he is still missing something. The windows have been closed this entire time, and apart from the moment Blaine came in, the same goes for the door. They must be somewhere.

There are some more cabinets with closed doors. They never checked that, because how the hell would these animals get in there?

Still, it doesn’t hurt to look.

Kurt and Blaine go through all the cabinets and indeed, they find Cookie the ferret sleeping between some blankets.

“How did this even happen?” Kurt asks.

“I have no clue,” Blaine says, as he carefully lifts Cookie out of the cabinet.

“These blankets do seem more comfortable than the cages,” Kurt says.

Blaine puts Cookie safely away and then shows a video of Mimi. She’s singing along with Blaine, who is playing some simple piano melodies and Kurt’s heart swells at the sight of Blaine. And Mimi. Mimi, too, of course.

Luckily, watching the video has an added benefit. Bear the mouse reacts to the sound by peeping. Kurt and Blaine follow the sound and find Bear in another closed cabinet. It’s an old one, so Kurt can see that Bear ate part of the door to make an entrance.

“Bear the mouse?” Blaine asks.

“Again, kids!” Kurt says as he puts Bear in the cage, “Someone thought it was funny to name a small animal after a big one.”

“I wouldn’t call Mimi Hedgehog or something.”

“You’re no fun,” Kurt teases.

Mimi is indeed a small dog. The photo of her standing next to a big tree illustrates that.

“One more!” Blaine says cheerfully.

Kurt smiles. His eyes fall on the clock. School has started, but it’s alright. Rachel will keep his kids entertained and all things considered, they’re doing this fairly quickly.

Right?

Twenty minutes later, Kurt realises he was mistaken.

They cannot find Sebastian the meerkat.

Meanwhile, Rachel is trying to message him, asking for how long it’s going to take. She obviously has to be discreet, since she cannot be on her phone while teaching the kids, but it makes it all a bit more complicated, since they can’t just call.

Blaine’s bowtie is untied and he looks stressed. Kurt’s certain he also looks messy. They’ve uprooted so many pieces of furniture in these past twenty minutes and that is exhausting.

“Can I go on the record and say that I fucking hate Sebastian,” Blaine says.

“Who’s swearing now?” Kurt says with mock horror.

“You were right. It is necessary.”

“Where could he be, though?” Kurt sighs.

“Maybe we need to change our approach,” Blaine says.

Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“What do you suggest?”

“Maybe we need to startle him, so that he comes out of hiding. We can make a loud noise.”

“Hm. That’s an idea.”

“There’s one downside, though.”

“Hm?”

“We will disturb the other animals, and I don’t know if I can handle that. Emotionally.”

Kurt looks around and he also doesn’t like the idea. Cookie is still sleeping peacefully and Nathaniel has finally calmed down.

“I don’t think I can handle it either, but what choice do we have?”

“Yeah…” Blaine nods solemnly.

“What noise do we make, though?” Kurt asks, “We also can’t make too much of a mess, because it might scare the kids.

“I have a whistle.”

“Why do you… carry a whistle?” Kurt asks.

“It’s to remember my marching band days,” Blaine says and he reaches for something in his pockets. It’s his key ring and there is indeed a small silver whistle attached to it.

“I didn’t know you marched!” Kurt exclaims.

“I mean, we haven’t really gotten the time to get to know each other yet,” Blaine points out.

It’s true. There’s a lot that’s left to discover and Kurt likes the idea of that. He wonders how Blaine will react when he finds out that Kurt was on the football team for a short while and that he was a cheerleader for a little bit longer.

“Maybe after all of this, we can hang out more,” Kurt suggests.

“You can come and meet my dog!” Blaine immediately says.

“I’d love to!” Kurt beams.

“How about this? If we find this meerkat, you can meet Mimi in the flesh!”

“How will that work? Is she here at the school?”

Blaine turns a bit red.

“Erm. Uh. I meant you could come over to my place after work.”

“Oh.”

“I- You don’t have to, if you have plans! Or whatever reason! You don’t have to justify a no if it’s a no-”

“Blaine, it isn’t a no!” Kurt quickly says.

“Ah,” Blaine looks relieved, “Good.”

“We better find this meerkat, then, if me meeting Mimi is the pay-off.”

Blaine nods and he blows his whistle. As expected, a lot of the animals react and Kurt feels like a terrible person, but it has the desired effect. Sebastian the meerkat shows up from God knows where and starts running around the classroom, jumping on furniture, throwing off things, and creating chaos in general. It doesn’t help that Kurt and Blaine are frantically chasing him.

“Fuck!” Blaine yells as he trips over something and goes down.

Since Kurt was running right behind him, he, in turn, trips over Blaine and lands right on him.

“Ouch!” Kurt says.

“At least you landed on me,” Blaine groans.

“Are you hurt?” Kurt asks.

“Nothing is wrong. I managed to catch myself. I just lost some of my dignity.”

Kurt rolls off Blaine. Blaine also rolls on his back, and to Kurt’s surprise, Blaine starts laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Kurt asks, aghast.

“Just… You know…” Blaine laughs some more.

“What?”

“This is the weirdest things that has happened here at work,” Blaine says through his laughter, “And we work at a pre-school, Kurt. Kids do crazy shit.”

“Like naming a mouse Bear,” Kurt says and he also starts to feel a bit giddy. This is ridiculous.

“Exactly!”

The two of them lie on the ground, just laughing. They can’t wait to tell the others in the staff room. Kurt turns his head to Blaine and he’s surprised to see Blaine staring back. Kurt wants to say something else, but he doesn’t know what. The laughter has been replaced by a comfortable silence.

Kurt wants to reach out. He’s no longer on top of Blaine, since that’s the appropriate response, but he realises he misses it. That’s weird.

But before Kurt can even make up his mind about it, he feels something on his legs.

He looks at his leg and he sees Sebastian the meerkat crawling around.

“Uh.”

“Stay still,” Blaine says and he slowly gets up.

Sebastian the meerkat walks up towards Kurt’s face. By now, Blaine’s crouching next to Kurt, waiting to grab this damned animal.

Unfortunately, the meerkat must have crazy reflexes, because the moment Blaine tries to reach, he jumps off Kurt and runs away. Blaine loses his balance and falls face down on Kurt.

“Fuck this meerkat!” Blaine yells against Kurt’s chest.

“This meerkat seems to have a secret agenda to have us fall on each other,” Kurt jokes, “Now you’ve landed on me.”

“There are worse things to land on, I guess,” Blaine says and he lies there.

“Uh. Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“We should get up and find Sebastian.”

“Right!” Blaine says as he gets up. He holds out his hand to also help Kurt up.

Sebastian is once again nowhere to be seen, so Kurt and Blaine look around, but he’s gone. Or so it seems. Where the hell can a meerkat be?

Blaine takes out his whistle.

“I can do this again…” he trails off. He doesn’t want to and Kurt understands. It was a last resort and it scares the other animals.

Maybe they need to give up. Kurt can explain to the principal what happened and all ‘animal care’ lessons have to be put on hold.

Kurt sighs and he checks the other animals to see if they’re alright. He pets everyone, apart from Noodle, because the spikes would hurt him. He gives Nathaniel an extra treat. He chuckles when he sees that the rabbits are cosied up together. He says hi to Sebastian. He is happy to see that Cookie is still asleep. He-

Wait a second.

He backtracks.

He stops in front of Sebastian the meerkat’s cage.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kurt hears Blaine from behind. Kurt can understand the sentiment. Sebastian is in his cage. They couldn’t find him the second time around, since Sebastian straight up moved back on his own.

Kurt quickly closes the cage door.

“Well… At least all animals are accounted for.”

“Oh my God,” Blaine says.

“Does this still count for the Mimi photo requirement?” Kurt asks to lift the mood. It has its desired effect because Blaine loves the photos and the photo of him and Mimi on the beach does not disappoint.

And just like that, it’s over. Kurt quickly fixes his hair and Blaine also ties his bowtie. They have places to go. Kurt has a group of pre-schoolers to look after and Blaine also has to prepare some stuff for work. They’ve already lost valuable time, so they need to get going, but a part of Kurt doesn’t want to. As wacky as this was, it was also kind of fun.

Blaine coughs.

“Anyway. See you later? We can meet up in the staff room, or I can send you the address.”

“What?”

“For the Mimi meeting.”

“Oh, of course!”

Blaine opens the door. He waves and then walks out of the classroom. There’s nothing left for Kurt to do, so he leaves as well.

When he arrives at his own classroom, the relief on Rachel’s face is evident. They play it off in front of the kids and they don’t ask a lot of questions. It’s time to get to work.

--

Blaine’s apartment is very small, but Kurt likes it. The best part is that Mimi immediately runs towards them.

“Did you miss me?” Blaine coos as Mimi jumps against him and Kurt’s heart swells, “I missed you too!”

Kurt crouches down and Mimi tilts her head.

“This is Kurt, he’s a friend, and we had quite an adventure today,” Blaine tells her.

Kurt holds out his hand for Mimi to sniff it. He passes the test, because Mimi licks it.

“She likes you,” Blaine says.

“I like her too!” Kurt says and he’s beaming. Mimi is very playful and Kurt pets her. She revels in it. At one point, he scratches her head and her head tilts back and she squints her eyes. Kurt’s about to burst.

He looks up and he sees Blaine looking down with adoration written across his face. Kurt gets it. He’s only known Mimi for a few seconds and he’s already willing to go to war for her. Kurt’s certain he has the same smitten look on his face.

“You can carry her, if she wants you to,” Blaine says.

“How do I know?”

Blaine kneels down next to Kurt and Mimi.

“Just kneel in front of her and stretch your arms. If she’s willing, she’ll jump into your arms, so you must catch her.”

Kurt tries it and Mimi is eager to be loved, so she leaps into his arms.

“Look!” Kurt turns to Blaine, with Mimi pressed against his chest.

“I’ve never seen her warm up to someone this quickly,” Blaine sounds a bit amazed.

Blaine helps Kurt get up and Kurt carries Mimi to the living room. Blaine gives him a small tour of his place and he asks if Kurt wants coffee. Kurt can’t say no to that!

Kurt cuddles Mimi and Blaine talks from his kitchen. He tells Kurt how he adopted Mimi. A friend of his had a dog who unexpectedly got pregnant, so Blaine and his friends adopted all of the babies. They still have reunions with Mimi’s mom and siblings.

“I have pictures!”

“Please show them!”

Blaine returns with coffee and the two of them spend the remainder of their time together looking at pictures of adorable dogs. It starts with Mimi and Mimi’s family, but then Kurt learns that Blaine also volunteers at a shelter when he has the time and he has many pictures of animals there.

“That’s partially why I hoped to do my traineeship at our pre-school,” Blaine explains, “I like that this particular pre-school has the animals. I want to become a teacher because I love working with kids, so it’s a win-win.”

“Well, it’s important to learn kids from a young age how to care for other life.”

“Exactly!”

“My three-year-old niece once wanted to pet a friend’s rabbit, but she just started slamming that poor animal’s back. Luckily, my sister-in-law stopped her.”

“That sounds unfortunate.”

“How did you get into teaching?” Blaine asks.

Kurt lets out a sigh. It isn’t a big marvellous story. Teaching wasn’t his dream growing up, but that is fine. Sometimes you work hard on something, only to realise that it isn’t what you want after all. That’s what happened to Kurt. He was enrolled in a drama school, but he wasn’t feeling it. This only stressed him out, because he’d worked hard to be accepted into the school. He thought that acting on stage was his dream, so it really messed him up when he realised that it wasn’t true.

Still, he saw no way out. He was committed to finishing his degree. Then in his second year he had to do an internship and he did it at a school. He helped out in a drama department and it was as if the clouds in his head parted. He realised that he was still young and that he had his life ahead of him, so he made the big decision to quit drama school to learn to become a teacher.

During that time, he realised he preferred the pre-school age.

“And here I am,” Kurt wraps up his story.

“Here you are!” Blaine laughs and it’s a nice laugh.

“I’m glad I ended up at this school, even though our principal makes, uh, questionable decisions sometimes,” Kurt says, “But don’t tell principal Sylvester I said that!”

“My lips are sealed,” Blaine pretends to zip his mouth shut, but then he immediately says: “I am also glad I ended up there, even if I am just a trainee. It’s a great place, with amazing extracurriculars and other extra ‘classes’.”

Kurt hums in agreement.

“And, uh, I met you.”

Kurt looks up in surprise. Blaine is staring back, looking a bit nervous. Is he trying to flirt?

“I’m glad you joined our team too!” Kurt says, just to be safe, but then he adds: “I’m even glad that the two of us had our little adventure this morning.”

“Yes, although I will forever detest Sebastian.”

Kurt shrugs.

“I don’t. Because of him, we had more time together.”

Kurt really, really hopes he isn’t overstepping and that he understood Blaine correctly.

“Yeah, that is one way to look at it,” Blaine says back with a smile.

Kurt wants to say something more, but then his phone beeps. He knows what it is. He set an alarm for himself. He’s meeting up with some other people, but he so desperately wanted to meet Mimi and see Blaine, so he added this to his already busy day.

“Ah. I… have to go.”

Kurt puts his empty coffee cup down and he lets Mimi jump off his lap. He already misses her warmth.

“Okay.”

“But thanks for having me.”

“Always. Mimi loves you.”

“And I love her,” Kurt says and on a cue, Mimi barks.

Blaine walks Kurt to his front door and Kurt realises he really doesn’t want to leave, and that he wants to stay here with Blaine and Mimi, but he’s made these plans with the others weeks ago so he really cannot bail.

“Will I see you again?” Kurt asks as he puts on his coat.

Blaine has an amused look on his face.

“We will see each other tomorrow at work, remember?” he says.

Kurt lets out a small laugh. He knows that, but that’s not what he meant.

“Outside of work, dummy,” Kurt clarifies and Blaine turns red, either from embarrassment or something else.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“With Mimi?”

Kurt thinks about that. He loves Mimi and he’d love to see her again, but the idea of just going somewhere with Blaine sounds appealing as well. He tells Blaine that. Blaine turns even redder and Kurt’s pretty certain he must look the same.

“Are you, uh, asking me on a date?” Blaine asks.

“Yes,” Kurt says, “Interested?”

Blaine nods eagerly.

“Definitely. I’ve been meaning to get to you know me ever since I first saw you!”

“Ah well, as I said, maybe it’s a good thing that 10 animals escaped this morning,” Kurt says.

His phone beeps again. Shit, he really needs to go if he wants to catch his train.

“I’ll text you, okay?” Kurt asks.

“Okay.”

“Yeah.”

And with that last eloquent word, he leaves Blaine’s apartment.

--

They have their first date the weekend after. It’s nothing glamorous. They have coffee at a local place and then pick up Mimi to go for a walk.

It’s absolutely perfect.

Blaine’s also picked up a picnic blanket and the three of them bask in the sun in the park. There’s a fenced off area for dogs, so Mimi can roam free and Kurt and Blaine take a lot of photos, because they can.

But all good things come to an end.

Blaine’s rolling up the picnic blanket and Kurt’s holding Mimi and scratching her behind her ear.

“See you on Monday, huh?” Kurt says.

“Yup.”

Kurt holds out Mimi so Blaine can take her. It’s time to go.

And Blaine does want to take her, because Kurt’s pretty sure he wouldn’t get away with kidnapping Mimi. Kurt moves closer so that he can put Mimi in his arms.

Once Mimi’s settled, she nestles herself in Blaine’s embrace and Kurt’s heart melts. He wishes he could just kiss Blaine.

And then Kurt realises that maybe he can.

He can’t help it. Blaine’s so close and Kurt leans in.

Blaine realises what Kurt’s aiming for and he doesn’t seem opposed to it, which is a win.

Kurt presses a kiss on Blaine’s lips as a goodbye. Blaine kisses back. Mimi lets out a bark, which makes Blaine laugh. It’s a bit awkward, because there is still some distance between them, since they don’t want to squash Mimi.

So Blaine puts Mimi down, much to her annoyance, but Kurt sees that as an invite to pull Blaine closer and he kisses him again.

--

That Monday, Kurt and Blaine see each other at the pre-school again. On their way to the staff lounge, they pass the classroom with animals.

“We should thanks them,” Blaine says, which makes Kurt adore him even more.

He’s right. They should.

Kurt opens the door so that the two of them can take a peek inside. For a split second, Kurt’s worried that some of them have gotten out again, but once he looks inside, he sees that all the animals are peacefully in their cages.

“Thanks guys,” Kurt whispers.

“Yeah, thanks! Even you, Sebastian!”

Kurt closes the door and the two walk to the staff room, hand-in-hand.

--

End notes: I hope you enjoyed. And that you love Mimi as much as I do. You can check my meme tag for memes about her, because I am me. And a shout out to @cerriddwenluna for naming Bear the mouse (kinda, she suggested naming a small animal after a big one) and @raenestee for naming Noodle the hedgehog and Nathaniel the rat.

[chazz-is-a-zelda-fan]

kaorupost wooohoooooo

sorry @r0yalgrimm-artz you asked and you shall receive <3

ohhh kaoru. where do i begin with you. this is all stuff i made up in my brain so if this doesn’t work in canon, shhhhhh

so the basic rundown is that kaoru is yusuke’s younger brother (he was adopted) and was enrolled in duel prep with chazz (did i mention he’s a selfship insert. sorrryyyy) and the two become super close friends despite their differences in standing. but after two years, yusuke’s parents die, and so kaoru is sent to north academy since his extended family can’t afford duel prep tuition. before he leaves, chazz gives kaoru light and darkness dragon and they both promise to make it into obelisk blue together

except for the part where chazz promptly forgets that because his brothers are assholes and continue to traumatize him for the rest of the time he’s in prep school :( yusuke promptly disappears and kaoru clings onto chazz’s memory and LaDD to fill this emptiness that he can’t remember. through a stroke of luck and skill, kaoru ends up catching sheppard’s attention and manages to get transferred back to duel academy. HOWEVER, when he’s moving back, this is the part in s1 where chazz is leaving DA to go to north. so they just miss each other :(

kaoru has a very specific request. even though he could easily be in obelisk blue, he absolutely refuses to join the blue dorm until he’s beaten chazz in a duel with LaDD. that was their pact, he’s gonna live up to it!! until he gets there. and chazz is gone. some digging around reveals the j-squad to be at the center of it, and kaoru being the borderline teenager with issues that he is, immediately hates all of them and seethes at them pushing chazz away.

when chazz returns, kaoru doesn’t get a chance to talk with him one-on-one until the end of the season. he’s picked to protect a spirit key, but it’s kind of weird since he’s made it obv that he wants nothing more than to defeat chazz and kind of hates everyone else. this is the first near-death experience, getting caught up in the abandoned dorm and dropping yusuke lore hints oooo (LaDD is sighing wondering where they went wrong lol) anyways, atticus and kaoru end up bonding over a vague memory of yusuke, but they don’t realize it’s him. atty helps kaoru figure out that yeah man, that’s pining, you’re gay. hope this helps ^^

s2 is where the fun comes in!!! he doesn’t get to explain to chazz how much their promise meant to him, but he’s gotta try. but when he does work up the courage, oops! the dorm’s brainwashed. so kaoru, having watched zane and atticus duel, and seeing the blue dorm go to shit, gets an idea.

he steals the dragon mask, invoking it to test out his theory. if losing to someone who’s part of the society is a surefire way to get into their ranks, what happens if a society member gets beaten by darkness? would it cancel out and break them free? LaDD refuses to go along with this plan, but kaoru doesn’t care. now as nightshroud, kaoru goes to duel chazz. he loses, and the dragon mask turns back into card form. chazz gives kaoru a whole speech about how he’s too useless to be wanted by any color, and kaoru gets torn apart by atticus yelling about how dangerous that plan was.

LaDD and kaoru reconcile, with the j-squad reluctantly admitting that kaoru isn’t all that bad, and kaoru promising to drop the petty grudges. they end up making a plan to save chazz, defeating him. then they go and save alexis (they being atticus and kaoru, chazz joins in to help alexis), and chazz still ends up tournament winner since he’s helping with the whole de-brainwashing thing

i don’t have much for s3. he almost dies again is that anything

during s4, both kaoru and atticus have consistent flashbacks to yusuke and the abandoned dorm. kaoru goes to investigate by himself and ends up in the world of darkness, LaDD being left to relay the message that kaoru’s trapped. most of the season plays out the same, but there’s still the issue of hey KAORU IS STUCK IN THE ABANDONED DORM. HELP

once yusuke is rescued and kaoru gets to reunite with his brother, he FINALLY gets to have the heart-to-heart he’s been meaning to with chazz for years. and then he gets embarrassed when chazz says he knew and he just didn’t have the chance to say it. atticus nods sagely in the background like “it was obvious, kaoru” “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!!” “hatchling this is a public space.” “NOT YOU TOO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!”

post-series, kaoru goes on to be a pro and later a manager, him and chazz frequently working with and for one another. it’s nice when your boyfriend is your boss and he’s your employee next month :P

OH. I AM SO SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE. I. I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY CAN YOU TELL. sorry if this is hard to understand it’s literally 1 am lol

[mrsweasley23]

Steve the voyeur gets rumbled (Part 5) NSFW

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Full fic on ao3

Steve woke up to something warm and wet rubbing gently across his chest. What the fuck? Where was he? The last think he remembered was...

Fuck. Shit. Fucking fuck.

"Hey baby. It's okay. Just getting you cleaned up. You'd made quite a mess of yourself"

"Eddie. Oh, God. Eddie, I'm so sorry. Shit... I just..."

"Shhhhhh" Eddie purred, pressing his finger to Steve's lips. "As much as I would love to hear how you explain this one away, I need you to listen..."

"No, Eddie, I..."

"Do I need to gag you?" he smirked. Steve's cock traitourously twitched.

Eddie's deep brown eyes were boring down on his.

Steve shook his head.

"I can see you very much enjoyed my show, Steve"

He planted a gentle kiss on Steve's cheek, ripping a moan from his lips before he could stop it.

Eddie grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Oh we are going to have so much fun, Stevie"

"What..."

Eddie frowned, pressing his finger more firmly to Steve's mouth, dragging it along the full, bottom lip.

"I talk. You, Steve Harrington, have been a very bad boy"

Steve's head dropped towards his chest, bringing his hands up to his eyes.

"But I haven't exactly been a golden boy either. When you smashed drunk into the apartment a few weeks ago, I knew you were there. Believe me, the thought you were there, that you could hear me, drove me fucking wild. Hell, just being around you on a normal day drives me fucking nuts, I have to stop myself from touching you, from fucking biting a fucking chunk out of you"

Steve's head lifted a little. His eyes raised to Eddie's. A little shake of his head told Steve it wasn't his turn yet.

"But the idea that you would hear me fuck, that it might turn you on, that it make you think about me in that way. Fuck. I was unhinged. Tell me all about it, Stevie"

"I didn't mean to....but I was drunk and it sounded so hot. Sounded like you were both having so much fun"

"Did you touch yourself Steve?" the commanding voice was back. "Did you listen to me fuck and make yourself come?"

Steve flushed, dragging his eyes away from Eddie's.

"I stood outside your door and I made myself come. I'm sorry"

Eddie put his fingers under Steve's chin and lifted his face so their eyes were locked.

"No apologies. Did it feel good?"

Steve nodded hesitantly.

"Words, Stevie"

"It felt so fucking good, Eddie. I had to bite my arm so you didn't hear me"

"Could have sworn I heard a whimper the second time though..." Eddie smirked.

"Fuck. You know about that? I'm the worst fucking friend Ed. I'm so sorry"

"I said", he grabbed Steve's wrists tightly, "no apologies. I told you to come for me baby and you did"

"How did you know...?"

"You've been dancing around me, acting all weird since that night. I texted Rob when I was out, checking you were okay. She said you weren't saying over. I hoped you'd be hiding in your room. Tried to put on a good show for you"

"Oh, you did" Steve chuckled lightly. "It's all I've been able to think about. I didn't know I wanted...". He hesitated. "I've never wanted...a guy before"

"And now?"

"Eds, I've been doing everything in my power, just to hear you have sex"

"Tell me more about that.." Eddie pressed little kisses onto Steve's jawline. "Tell me what you did when I came back from the club"

"Eddie I can't..."

"Tell. Me"

Fuck. Steve was powerless.

"I listened to you fuck him. Call him a pretty boy. That made me so hot. I tried...I tried to finger myself but..."

Eddie's eyes shot wide. "You've been putting your fingers in yourself and thinking of me?"

Steve nodded.

"Holy. Fuck"

"But it wasn't enough. I couldn't... I wanted more. I wanted..."

"You wanted my cock?"

"Uh huh"

"I came so hard thinking about you fucking me. Listening to you come"

"Just like tonight?"

Steve nodded.

"Did you like my choice of playmate tonight?" Eddie chuckled.

"You found a Steve"

"Thought I'd fuck with you a bit. And the prospect of getting to scream your name drove me pretty fucking wild"

" 'Steve, I'm coming and it's all for you'." Steve recalled laughing.

Eddie flushed a little. "Too much?"

Steve shook his head.

"Judging by the state I found you in, I think it might've been"

"I could have come the moment he called me Your Steve"

And with that, Eddie crashed his lips towards Steve's, his hands snaking into Steve's hair. "You want to be my Steve?"

"More than anything. I want to be yours. I want every part of you and want you to take every part of me"