#// *i apologize for anyone else that has gotten asks from anons or anyone in particular

[monmuses]

okay, so this is gonna be my ONLY post to make about this bc i wasnt planning on talking about anything in regards to shit that happened in privacy, but it's being blasted publicly and my friends are getting involved so i'm just gonna make this my one and only PSA because this is irritating with what i'm learning.

if people have a problem with me, PLEASE talk to me. do not go to my friends on anon to twist words up about me. i'm learning that multiple friends and mutuals of mine are getting asks about this when they have no part in this and that shouldn't be happening to begin with. so i want to state this for anybody who has gotten shit in their inbox.

as for the situation that's happening on the other side of Tumblr right now, i have had zero part in it and i intend to keep it that way. it's not my business. for anyone who's familiar with the "drama" being talked about is being stirred by one person and i have expressed in privacy that i was not comfortable with how any of this is being handled nor did i think it was right. i don't care about the situation itself, but the anger and venomous reactions to talking about it is what concerned me. it was not about the person nor was it about the crimes and victims, i was not okay with the name-dropping and stirring of drama about someone.

i'm not taking sides nor do i plan on "stating my case" or anything like that. i'm not involved, and it's not my place to talk. it's a situation that does not involve me and should not involve anyone else because of how much it's been blown out of proportion. so please do not group my friends and mutuals together as them automatically taking sides; guilt by association is a shitty thing to assume and is not a correct way to go with situations like this.

i don't know why my name is being pulled into this mess when i've asked before to NOT be dragged, and i apologize to any mutuals who have had the displeasure of seeing this constantly being posted, but i have to due to friends getting asks about me already (for some fucking reason). if you have gotten asks and want to ask what it's about, i will GLADLY tell you in honesty and with what i've said. i will gladly talk shit out one on one and share screenshots of what i have said.

right now, my main focus is writing and doing threads here. it will NEVER be about drama nor will i post about it. this is the only time i will post because it is now my problem to address as it is involving multiple friends of mine getting harassing anonymous users spreading rumors. i don't condone that kind of behavior and i will speak up if it affects ME or FRIENDS of mine.

i will not name drop or talk about this further, but if you wish to know more, PLEASE come talk to me. if you receive anon asks accusing you of shit, i apologize on their behalf for assuming shit about you as it is not deserving to lump people together like that. but please please please talk to me if something comes up and you have a problem with me or with situations going on. thank you.

[bunnyywritings]

bubbly s/o opens up about trauma pt. 1

bakugou katsuki & shouto todoroki x gn!reader

word count: 1.8k

requested by anon: Katsu, Sho, Izu, and Eiji headcanons to their bubbly, and sweet crush, and close friend, opening up to them about being abused by their parents growing up? They've gotten therapy and are living with their Grandparents but sometimes they get upset when someone brings up parents or asks about the scars from abuse. They tell them they shared this with them because they refused to lie to them. They hug him close, thanking him for being a good friend. -Morp

[a/n: i hope you don’t mind that I’m doing it in parts anon! i ended up doing scenarios for each one, i'm a bit rusty so i apologize if this isn't very well done. you can read part 2 [ here ] ,thank you for requesting sweet heart! here you go! - yours truly, bunny -`ღ´- ]

TW: mentions of parental abuse & scars, nothing explicit but implied

To an extent, he always knew. Maybe not the specifics, but whenever you were alone and thought no one was paying any attention, you’d let your guard down. The metaphorical sparkle in your eyes would dim, your shoulders would slump as if you were taking a break. Then someone would approach and in the blink of an eye, the sparkle was back and the familiar grin on your lips was present once again. Despite what others may think, Bakugou was a good friend.

He worried about you. A lot.

That may be due to the fact that he has a huge crush on you, but it was unlikely. He values your friendship so much. He’d rather have you as a friend than anything else, really. That was mainly his insecurity talking though. He just thought he wasn’t good enough for you. No one was, really. But that’s besides the point.

He had never explicitly said anything about his feelings for you but he didn’t need to. It was quite clear through his actions. Well...clear to everyone but you, that is. Even Aizawa had caught on. And he couldn’t care less about his students’ love lives. He’s had his fill of teenage angst and drama.

During training, he’d always make sure your water bottle was full or during lunch he’d keep an eye out and make sure you were eating. Sometimes he’d even give you extra pieces of meat from his plate, or if he had veggies he knows you like, he’d wordlessly place them into your rice bowl.

Now this wasn’t one sided at all. You also had your ways of looking out for him.

If you were doing a convenience store run with Sero and you saw the particular snack that Bakugou likes, you’d instantly grab a few. For his birthday, you had gotten him custom earplugs for quirk training. It had been after you and him were paired to spar against each other, he always insisted on not holding back against you out of respect, and you had experienced one of his full blown attacks head-on. Your ears were ringing for about half an hour before you could somewhat hear again, and even then, everything was a bit muffled.

Needless to say, you were worried about his hearing

He scoffed and rolled his eyes when he unwrapped the box. Scolding you for wasting money on something he had no use for.

He always uses them though. Especially when he’s doing stamina training, and it’s explosion after explosion.

Anyways. He notices your strange behavior, one day. You stopped trying to keep up the façade and you were sort of gloomy all day. He was absolutely pissed that no one had noticed the change, and he’d yell at them later for it, but he kept his cool and waited until he could be alone with you.

It had been around 8pm, just an hour before his bedtime, when he made some tea for the both of you and carried it up to your dorm room. He paused in front of your door, looking down at both his hands, a mug in each one, then looking at the door handle. Realizing he won't be able to physically open the door by himself, he awkwardly bumped the door with his elbow.

“Hey idiot, it’s me. Open the door.” He grumbled quietly, frowning when you hadn’t responded. Before he could repeat himself a little more aggressively, the muffled sound of your sniffling made his stomach drop. Panic rising throughout his body as he made up worst case scenarios in his head.

“(Y/n), seriously. Is everything okay?” All attempts to sound calm failed as his voice betrayed him, trembling the slightest bit.

On the other side of the door, you started to panic. Furiously wiping any evidence of tears or snot from your face before you slumped over to the door, turning the lock and tugging it open to reveal a frowning Bakugou. He wasn’t upset, he was worried. It was evident in his red irises.

“Here. Drink it before it gets cold.” He handed you a mug before walking past you and into your room. He admired the decor everytime he was in there, no matter how many times he had seen it already, it never failed to make his heart warm. You had a wall full of pictures of yourself with your friends. There were a few solo photos of your friends as well. Most were candid shots, there were a fair few of him.

It always reminded him that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. You cherished those candid photos because in your eyes, when your friends were carefree and themselves, no poses, no facade, that’s when they were their most beautiful.

He took a seat on your bed and patted the space beside him. Nudging the door shut, you made your way over and got comfortable.

“What’s up with you today? You seemed...not yourself.”

You didn’t respond, opting to take a sip of your tea. He knew there was something up and he wasn’t gonna push you. So he leaned back and got comfortable, waiting until you were ready. It was a solid three minutes of silence before you took a deep breath.

“I-I don’t want to lie to you, Katsuki. It just wouldn’t be fair so uhh, yeah. Here goes.” He could tell that this was overwhelming for you so, wordlessly, he put down his mug and held his hand out to you and you grasped it, like it was a lifeline.

And you told him.

You told him about the abuse from your own parents. He felt his blood boil as you showed him a few scars inflicted by your parents’ quirks. You explained that it was the anniversary of the day you ran away and went to live with your grandparents, and how you had been seeing a therapist on the regular since then.

It pained him to see you struggle through the tears, hiccuping a few times as you attempted to catch your breath. You didn’t even have to say it but he could see it, it was an all too familiar feeling to him. He tugged you to him, letting go of your hand and pulling you into his chest, his arms wrapping you up in a warmth that made the stinging tears return.

“You know, this doesn’t make me think less of you. You’re not weak. Those bastards don’t realize how bad they screwed up. You’re strong, and they’re gonna regret every goddamn choice they’ve made when they see how far you’ll go.”

“Thank you.” You whimpered as you gave in to the new wave of tears, hooking your arms around his shoulders. “Thank you…”

If anyone asks, no...he wasn’t crying. (He was though.)

If anyone was familiar with the signs of abuse, it was him. 

It hurt him so much knowing that you had gone through what he did, maybe not to the same extreme but you had experienced it nonetheless. 

He admired you though. Despite whatever happened to you, you were always bright. Always in a good mood and always choosing to see the good in people. He knows that he didn’t have the strength to do that. Maybe eventually, but not so soon. He had never wanted to pry. You guys were friends, practically best friends and he trusted that you’d tell him when you were ready. 

To his knowledge, no one knew. No one mentioned the way you’d flinch around sudden movements or when someone raised their voice. Honestly, it was a wonder that you had even befriended Iida. He was the epitome of loud and sudden. Always waving his arms around at the randomest times and always shouting to chastise someone for breaking a rule. 

He noticed that you tended to cover up your torso often. Never really wearing anything more revealing than a normal t-shirt. Even on the class trip to the beach, you insisted on staying covered up. No one questioned it, chalking it up to insecurity. Even during training when everyone had to wear their gym uniform, while others undid the top part and wrapped it around their waist, being clad in a tank top or sports bra, you had always kept it on. Even when it was extremely hot. More often than not, he found himself resting his palm against your forehead to cool you off. 

It hadn’t been very hot, but Aizawa decided to run everyone ragged with combat training, so everyone was partnered up. Todoroki had been partnered with Denki and you had been paired up with Eijirou.

As he sat with his classmates, watching the two of you spar, he was quite impressed. Not that he doubted your skill but both fighting styles were drastically different. Eijirou and his quirk relied on close combat while your quirk worked best with long-range. He could see the frustration on your face when Eijirou kept charging towards you and engaging in hand to hand.

As the fight went on, Kirishima had hardened his forearm and hand, kinda like a makeshift blade and as he took you down, he had accidentally cut the top of your gym uniform. As the dust settled and the both of you got up, the tear in your clothes allowed the whole class to see your back and shoulders, skin littered with scars. All were different in size, color, severity, etc. 

Everyone was stunned silent, not having expected anything like this. 

“(Y/n)...what happened?” You could feel the breeze on your back and the pity in Kirishima’s eyes made you angry.

Everyone suddenly snapped into realization. Various questions of; ‘who did that to you?’, ‘where did those come from?’ and whatnot were shot at you from different directions. He could see you slowly being overwhelmed by everything. His heart dropped as he made eye contact with you, your eyes tired and filled with tears. 

“That’s ENOUGH!” Everyone froze and looked at Todoroki with wide eyes, his voice booming.

Sensing the tension starting to rise, Aizawa sighed. 

“Alright everyone settle down. Training is over, get back to class. (Y/n). A word.” 

Reluctantly, Todoroki followed the boys into the locker room and changed into his school uniform.  When everyone was out and he returned outside to the training grounds, you and Aizawa weren’t there so he had gone back to the locker rooms. He knocked and called out to you. 

“Can I come in?” He heard a meek ‘yeah.’ So he carefully made his way inside. 

There you were, dressed in your school uniform and sat on a bench with your face buried in your hands, shoulders shaking. 

“(Y/n)...” He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, he winced when you looked up at him. IIt ached him to see your beautiful eyes tainted by tears. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Sho…” Your bottom lip quivered. 

“Please, don’t apologize.” He opened his arms. You stood up and basically collapsed into them, clutching onto the back of his blazer. “Just always remember that I may understand more than anyone else will. I’ll never judge you, you know that right?” 

“I know…It’s just, ugh-” You pulled away and wiped the tears from your face. “I don’t want anyone to change how they look at me because of what my parents did to me and when everyone saw, and they were asking all of their questions, their eyes...they were just full of pity.” 

“Then look into mine.”

And when you did, you didn’t see pity. 

You saw admiration. You saw belonging. Love. Understanding. 

“Nothing will ever change with me, (Y/n).” He pressed his forehead against yours, “I will always be here for you.” 

[soukokuwu]

This is a bit particular, but can I get a scenario on Dazai when his (female) s/o, whom he's been with for a while, tells him that she was has a terminal condition and she'll only live a few more years? He's bitter that she has to die so early and expects her to feel the same way, but he's surprised when she explains that she's gotten past her resentment of the situation and is only grateful that she was able to experience the world as long as she had? Tysm!

Dazai Osamu

➢ angst, a hint of fluff (dazai x reader)

➢ warnings, suicidal thoughts, death

➢ word count: 2.1k

➢ ah i always love a good angst theme! i hope you don’t mind that i made this a full story i just got so absorbed writing this that i kept going 🥺 i really hope you’ll like this anon! 🌻🤍

Life & You

Pain and loss.

They followed him everywhere, wherever he went, in every crevice he thought he could hide in. They were the only thing that reminded him he was even remotely human, of the fact that he had a beating heart. The heartache was the only thing to serve as proof that he was alive, since he had never truly felt the kind of joy that made his heart soar or the kind of excitement that made it sing.

The cuts that littered his skin, under all the wraps that he used to shield them from the world, were a small yet painful reminder that somehow he still longed to find something to ignite his desire for life. If he had wanted to die right then and there - if he was really, truly hopeless, the razor would have cut its way deeper into his skin instead of settling for shallow gashes on its surface.

Nothing else made Dazai Osamu human. He was a clump of negativity and sorrow, a disdainful mess that should eventually be discarded by everyone and everything he held dear. Someone undeserving of feeling any sort of human connection.

Or so he thought, until he met you.

You were a strange little thing. The most infectious kind of love bug he thought he would never get himself involved with. Yet there was something pulling him to you, like you were opposite poles of a magnet, likewise spurring an intrigue in you that drew you to him even though you hated his initially pessimistic outlook on life.

Neither of you were ever able to pinpoint why the attraction existed in the first place. And neither of you tried to explore it either. The both of you had sought something in the world that you had somehow found in each other. Neither of you questioned the nature of your love for fear that deeper probing might lead to proof that the two of you weren’t meant to be.

For Dazai found a reason to live in you. And for you found in him something to be thankful to have lived for.

But it was funny how a dream can be right there in front of you, so attainable, yet it can be as fleeting as it came, taken away from you just like that.

The doctor profusely apologised and the nurses looked away out of pity. You kept your silence, disappointed that it turned out this way yet you weren’t surprised in the least. Life had a knack for bringing you down when you were up, and this was just another one of those moments. Although this takes the kick.

It had taken a while for you to process the news. ‘A while’, which of course meant a few months. And each day you spent with Dazai, the guilt that you shouldn’t have felt grew and grew. None of this was anyone’s fault, you were pretty sure it wasn’t even genetic. There was no one to blame but the cruel hands of fate. But fate doesn’t exist in a tangible form for you to take your hate out on. The only thing you could do was accept it. You knew that, but you knew Dazai didn’t.

This insecurity that built up inside you had caused you to put off breaking the news to him. But if you had learned anything throughout your own journey of acceptance, it was that faith could tide you through the darkest of times and the bleakest of moments, even if it had to be blind.

You had to trust in him. You had to believe that Dazai would continue loving you, even in death, and carry your wish for him to keep on living, no matter how selfish it seemed.

It was painful; to be able to see the pain flashing in his eyes even as he was trying his hardest not to show it. But you weren’t his lover for nothing. You could notice these tiny, subtle movements and twitches. Only most of the time you acted like you didn’t, if only to ease the possible worry Dazai would harbor about making you feel bad.

Throughout your relationship he had been calm and collected, his comedic facáde never once fading. Not even when he had to explain to you about his old scars, not even when you spotted him nearly committing suicide that one time. Which was why you were surprised at his sudden outburst upon hearing of your future, or lack thereof.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” was the first thing he shouted. You could see the anger, the upset in his face, this being the first time he’s ever worn his heart on his sleeve. “Why do you sound so calm telling me this? And how do you expect me to be fucking okay with this?”

Dazai was bitter, oh so bitter. Tears made tracks down his face as he continued lashing out. His wild hand gestures and uncouth words only served to show just how angry he was at the world for, yet again, wanting to take away that with which he held most dear. He uttered a string of hopeless wishes, thinking of any possible ways to hold onto hope that you would be able to properly grow old with him.

Of course it was all futile. Your future was already set in stone. There was no changing the fucked-up ways of fate. It took a while for him to calm down, and out on the balcony the sunlight was fading, the colours of the day soon to disappear. The orange hue brought a calm that was missing throughout his rampage.

The two of you were sitting out on the patio chairs, with Dazai still hanging his head down, both hands tugging at his hair, body rocking back and forth as though it would wake him from the cruel dream he wished it was. You had to say your piece anyway, no matter how much he didn’t want to hear it. He was angry you didn’t tell him about this sooner, yes, but what made him more upset was because he didn’t understand how you’ve accepted all this, and why you’re taking this lying down.

“Because I found you, Osamu.”

Dazai swallowed the lump in his throat upon hearing your words, a feeling of utter confusion washing over him. He forced himself to turn to look at you, and he met you with his brown, desolate eyes, only serving to magnify the ache in your heart. But you steeled your resolve. This conversation still had to happen.

“You asked me why I’m not mad, right?” you reminded him, giving him the strongest smile you could manage. “I am not terrified of dying. Am I afraid? Maybe a smidge. Much less so if there’s nothing I can do about it. But Osamu?” As you focused on your lover’s beautiful face in front of you, you feel your smile growing more and more genuine by the second. “I was only able to be this happy because I met you. You are the reason why I’ve finally been able to be grateful for living.”

Dazai processed your words with suppressed joy rather than his earlier anger, the former growing as he listened further. These were words you thought but could never bring yourself to admit. And even in this situation, he reveled in hearing it. Someone like him, who could only have dreamt of what happiness felt like, actually instilled the feeling in you? The most beautiful human being he’s ever known?

“If death is going to consume me in the next few years, all I’m worried about is not when it happens. All I want to think about is how do we make our next few years together count, Osamu,” you told him, your voice strong with conviction.

You weren’t done, but Dazai couldn’t wait to pull you into a hug, stifling his sobs as he did, arms gradually wrapping themselves tighter and tighter around you. It was a simple message he was conveying: an apology for the unnecessarily long outburst and the assurance that he understood completely what you meant.

When he pulled away, you realised the tear tracks had dried, and he had a visibly calmer ambience to him. It was as though you could see the love in his eyes as he stared into yours, which was something considering Dazai never thought he could convey any love without having to explicitly do or say anything.

And as the last rays of the sun found its way below the horizon, he uttered to you the most loving words he had ever said.

“My precious belladonna, I will be together with you until your time comes, and I promise not to make you worry even after you leave.”

And Dazai Osamu kept his word. While you were still able to take your place beside him, and even after you ceased to exist. He had poured his heart and soul into loving you, something that he would never tolerate you arguing with him over. You would always tell him to do a little something for himself, not to keep prioritising you above everything.

“I will always put my belladonna first,” he would always say. “You’re going to take a whole other journey without me, could you just allow me this honour of treating you like my princess, while I can?”

You couldn’t argue with him then. After all, it was all thanks to the brunette that you were able to fully enjoy every second of your last few years in this world. Never once did he fuck up, never once did he make you feel bad about your terminal illness, never once did he show himself breaking down just thinking about life after you.

All the memories you carried on your deathbed were full of Dazai and the happiness throughout your relationship. How he had always made sure you got everything you wanted, be it simple things like food or even an overseas trip to Europe like you’ve always dreamed of. How he had treated you gentler than he thought he could ever handle anything at all. How he had proposed to you despite knowing your circumstances. How he had made sure you had the wedding of your dreams.

Even when the illness took a toll for the worst, Dazai had never let himself falter. He understood you needed him to be as strong as possible, even though you wouldn’t admit it. Showing how utterly despondent he actually was would only make things worse. So he didn’t. He continued giving you his endless care, feeding you when you were too weak to move your fingers, massaging your legs when you felt sore, and showering you with kisses no matter how frail and repulsive you thought you looked.

And now the memories were his and his alone.

As Dazai sat on your side of the bed and looked at your wedding picture, framed up and hung on the wall, he finally allowed his tears to flow. It had been a long, painful week since your passing. He had had to arrange everything, the funeral, the catering— everything.

Dazai did not have a care in the world for the expensive pressed suit he was currently wearing. He collapsed onto the bed - he swore it still smelled like you - and all anyone else could hear in the dark of the night was the painful cries of a man who had lost his wife.

A man who found something he thought didn’t exist at all and lost it to the void. A man who remembered his lover’s smile, the memories of how happy she had been on their wedding night, saying their vows, and every night after that. A man who wanted so desperately to follow her in the afterlife, only to look at his old razors and remember his promise to her. A man who wanted so badly for none of this to be real, and to wake up seeing her peaceful face on the pillow next to his. A man who thought he was a monster, finding his savior in the world he had lost hope in, an angel who brought him up from the depths of his own hell, and had to watch helplessly as she slowly fell into the abyss herself. And now a man who couldn’t find anything else to live for, save for the hopeless promise of staying alive for you, no matter how empty it made him feel.

He screamed out your name one last time before letting it drown in his sobbing, the light that appeared and stayed in his life the moment you came gradually fading away, leaving Dazai alone in the dark once more.

tags: @yokelish @gogolparadise

[inkykeiji]

when dabi basically asked tomura if reader is his girlfriend and then tomuras phone ringing saved him from answering, does tomura rlly not consider reader his girlfriend? i know some ddlg relationships tend to trophy their littles so i just assumed dabi just doesnt understand the whole daddy dynamic? or how tomura loves to show her off. also was tomura always a daddy? i cant see him being that w any1 but reader! sorry these are my late night thoughts lmao

no apologies needed anon bb these are good questions!! <3

does tomura really not consider reader his girlfriend/does dabi not understand the whole daddy dynamic?

AH okay. no, tomura definitely considers her both his girlfriend AND his trophy. dabi’s really just saying that shit to bother tomura, because he really DOES parade the reader around like she’s his favourite shiny toy instead of an actual person, you know? their relationship is clearly extremely unhealthy and unequal in terms of (everything, really) but especially the power dynamic (it is important to note here that while reader has willingly and consensually entered into this power dynamic relationship, it is still quite unhealthy, and tomura clearly abuses his position of power over her. definitely not ALL consensual power dynamic relationships are unhealthy, but theirs in particular is!!)

it is also true, though, that at this specific point in the story itself, dabi doesn’t 100% understand the ddlg dynamic (more because he doesn’t care to, however this changes throughout the story itself as he spends more time with the both of them). but in general, dabi’s little quip in this instance is just to try and get under tomura’s skin and annoy him a little. he’s just being an asshole <33 not to mention at this point in the story dabi also sees her more as a nuisance than anything else; just some dumb little girl who’s gotten herself too deep in a dangerous life she has no business being present in in the first place.

was tomura always a daddy?

he definitely always had that inclination inside of him—he loves the control and the power the title comes with—BUT he had never found anyone he had deemed ‘worthy’ of that much of his time, care, and attention until he met reader!! she really kicked his ‘daddy instincts’ into high gear!! <33

i hope this answers your questions sweetpea!!! pls let me know if you have any others!! ♡ ～('▽^人)

[cs-discourse]

long post

IGNORE IF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT KPOP DISCOURSE

But I'm going to address something that was sent in. https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/186311194619/stigmaticlies-being-black-excuses-them-from#tumblr_notes this specifically. The logic goes that I "fetishize" asians, specifically in this case  korean group BTS, and they are anti-semitic, and my being black is not an excuse towards that. 

Not even going to touch the moronic notion I fetishize anyone. But I will talk about the claim that a group whose music I obviously enjoy is "anti-semetic" and anti-black, which would reflect poorly on me as a person to some people. (Though I personally don't care about the views or actions of any artist I listen to as long as they're not killing anyone.)

Claim 1: BTS is anti-semetic 

The proof for this claim, although not offered in the original asks, is the fact that the group did a photoshoot at the holocaust museum in germany in january 2015. Unrelated, a member also wore a hat with a nazi symbol for a photoshoot in 2014. You can easily find the pictures on google. 

Now, the holocaust memorial photoshoot was obviously wrong for a few reasons. Although people commonly take pictures there, using the museum because it looks cool for an album photo book is fairly insensitive. However, I would like to point out a few things; firstly, they don't decide where they do photo-shoots, their company and management does. I don't personally believe at that point in their career the members had much ground to argue about where they did photo shoots assuming they didn't want to do it there.

Secondly, I would argue the bigger issue is an ignorance and cultural difference in attitude regarding the holocaust between the west and east. Korea was involved in ww2 however not so broadly in the European theater as much as the asian theater. I'm not from Korea but I do know people who are who say that general knowledge and attitude in regards to the european portion of the war. At-least thats what I've been told when I asked and have seen in comments, I'm not from korea so I can't say for sure. But this might explain why the management had them do what they did. 

But I DO know that bts, and pop groups (korean or otherwise), don't often have a say in what they do. I don't believe it wasn't until recently the group really had much ground to really dictate what they do or don't. So I don't personally blame them for that. It's worth noting the management apologized for having the leader RM wear a hat with nazi symbolism later on. With this in mind, I don't believe the group themselves hold any prejudice towards jewish people. 

Claim 2: BTS are anti-black/racist/appropriators 

The proof for this claim stems from one of the members saying the n-word that was in a cover he was doing. The group also has a list of questionable comments regarding their fellow members skin colors. For example, one member recalled thinking another member was very dark, or remarking that another has gotten darker from tanning and resembles a black person in another instance. However I personally as a black person don't think this is symptomatic of a dislike of black people or dark skinned people in general, rather a reflection of a trend in many east asian cultures that place an preference on having pale skin. I think they may be or were ignorant, but I don't believe there's a genuine dislike towards black people like you might see in some southern U.S. states. 

2 members I believe also had dreads or braids but I truthfully don't care about that. I realize a lot of black people consider that appropriation or dislike it because we often are penalized for the hairstyle that, on other people, is celebrated. But I don't think preventing or attacking anyone for wearing a particular hairstyle is conducive to progress for us, and the black community certainly has more than one opinion regarding this. 

The group also does hiphop music which I believe someone else brought up as a point towards cultural appropriation. But THAT is fucking ridiculous. Yes, hiphop is black music but its been heavily popularized for decades and there's numerous non black, VERY respected rappers and hiphop artists with numerous co-signs from other black hiphop artists. Keep in mind, hiphop isn't just a genre, its a look and culture that does not discriminate based on race. BTS themselves have several co-signs from respected western hiphop legends and contemporaries. If you want to go that route, much of modern music is stolen because its mostly based upon african rhythms; whether its pop, rock, rnb, hiphop or whatever. 

Lastly, member RM has done much of these questionable things and he's apologized for them many many times, and spent much of his career trying to educate himself and better himself. A lot of these groups, bts included, aren't inherently bad or harbor dislike towards a certain group of people, its mostly ignorance which i believe can and has been improved. 

That should be everything. There's a few other things that some people like to criticize the group for, like supposedly "misogynistic" lyrics in a song but I heavily disagree with that. And to that one anon who seemingly brought up me simply liking bts or korean music as a negative, suck my balls. 

[angelinuhh]

adms from krps shouldn't feel like they need to put more race in their rps bc they are literally playing a whole ass rp with a race that died and still die in the hands of americans

(pt 2) ive come from a place where asian people are hated for absolutely nothing and they suffer from racism everyday, so claim that krp are not diverse is just bullsht, fuck whitey rps not asian rps! we should have a wakanda based rp or smth, but don’t go after krps like that. asian people are not white people for gods sake. and when it comes to sexuality it’s incredibly diverse in the country i play rps tbh no one is straight

(pt 3) you must be those whities who thinks that asians are white ugh just say you’re racist and go

Hi. So this anon was kind enough to give me three messages. I’m going to be responding to all three in this fun last one. 

But first, let me tell you a story about me. Because I hope no one ever fucking comes in with this stupid ass horseshit reasoning ever again.

(tw mentions of death, the vietnam war, racism)

I never met my uncle. He died in the Vietnam War when he was barely 18, a soldier for a war that I don’t know if he believed in. In every home that I’ve ever lived in, a picture of him sits on the altar—a reminder of all we left behind.

I never met my cousin. He was just a baby when he died. My aunt had just had him when she became a refugee from the country she loved. And though she lived to come to a new country and find a new home, he didn’t. There are no pictures to remember him by.

I am luckier than them.

The first time I really knew that I was asian, I was in kindergarten. There’s a clapping game we used to play. It involves saying something like “Chinese, japanese, dirty knees” whatever. The point is part of it is about using your fingers to make your eyes slanted. Someone told me that I didn’t have to do it, because my eyes were slanted enough. I didn’t understand. But, when the teacher came over and saw everyone with their faux-slanted eyes and me sitting there, she gasped and yelled at them. And, when everyone started crying, that’s when I knew it was wrong.

When I was in high school, a Vietnam War Vet came and talked to my history class. Someone asked him how he felt about the Vietnamese now. He said and I quote, “I still hate those Vietnamese sons of bitches. I wish I had gotten more of them.”

The teacher apologized to me after class. But that doesn’t matter. It had already been said.

So unfortunately, I am not, as you say, ”one of those whities who thinks that asians are white”. I have not had the privilege to be.

As you so helpfully put it, I am part of a race that died and still die in the hands of americans. I live in a place where asian people are hated for absolutely nothing and they suffer from racism everyday. When they graffitied my house and egged it, when they called me all those names, I never knew. For every microaggression and fetish-y conversation I ever had, when they told me “it didn’t really count that you did well because you’re Asian” or they told me I looked like an anime character or asked me “where are you from” or commented that I “speak English well” when I’ve lived in this country my entire life, I was completely oblivious.

Now that you’ve told me, this changes everything. /s

KRPs can still eat my fucking ass. Just make your fucking RP actually diverse, you racist POS cowards.

Honestly, your argument here is that Asians experience discrimination and, thus, writing them is diverse and good for the community. And I cannot criticize KRPs because I will thus be racist.

The only problem here is that I am well aware that Asians, as most POC do, experience discrimination and bigotry and, unfortunately for you, writing Asians doesn’t open you up to any of that. Just because your muses are Korean or your rp is set in Korea doesn’t suddenly make you part of the family, doesn’t make you understand what it means to be Asian, what people like me and many other have gone through to be proud of their skin. And so, when I or anyone else criticizes the existence of KRPs and KRPers— there is no criticism of Asian people or diminishing of their struggle. Only a criticism of people who feel comfortable enough to perpetuate harmful stereotypes, fetishize a race and continue to disrespect the thoughts and wishes of Asian people.  

All you do is wear the discrimination and pain of my people like a costume, and you defend yourself with it. This shitty defense you’re using?? It is the skin I wear. It is who I am. 

I will never meet my cousin. I will never meet my uncle. My family wrests with the burden of knowing that we are lucky but also knowing that colonization and western interference has taken so much from my culture and my country and my people. To me, that is what it means to be asian. 

This is not everyone’s experience. This is not even close to a general asian experience or even an asian-american one. I am so fortunate to have only experienced what I have experienced. I do not pretend to speak for the group and would never even dream of doing so. But you came into my inbox, so you get to hear my story. 

You can portray a muse of any background, but do it with respect. Don’t presume that you truly understand their struggle. Do not use it as an excuse to not address your own racism and your own problems. On my part, I will try to do the same.

So, in conclusion, make your RPs actually diverse. It’s fun. You’re going to love it.

one, sexuality and gender identity are not the same. i’m asking rps to be more inclusive of trans and nb muns. i don’t give a fuck about how “no one is straight”.

two, I never addressed how anti-poc and anti-black in particular your argument is, so let me do that now. yes, a wakanda rp would be dope. but wakanda is special bc it was made for black people by black people. the nuances are subtle and tbh i’m not going to go into it. but krps are not equivalent to wakanda. most of them are not made by asian people. there is a difference between a space that a poc group makes for themself and one that is run by outsiders. 

Asians are POC. We experience racism. But we also have substantial amount of privilege in most societies in comparison to other POC. Most countries in asia are extremely colorist and most rps reflect the same standards. 

LET ME NIP THIS IN THE BUD. No one is going to force you to play any type of muse or say that you’re racist for not playing anything. If you only feel comfortable playing kpop or Asians fcs, fine!! But when you’re consistently picking light-skinned Asian characters over other types of POC, particularly those that darker-skinned, it might be important to reflect on exactly why.

Asian people have been long regarded as “the model minority”. They are often regarded as “less intimidating” and “more acceptable” by outside culture. If you believe in any of these things, please understand you are only harming actual Asian people. We don’t exist to fit into your narratives.

PLEASE STOP DEFENDING YOUR ANTI-BLACKNESS BY USING US AS PROPS TO SHOW OFF HOW YOU LOVE DIVERSITY. 

Please don’t use the KRP label or tag as it reinforces the perpetual foreigner stereotype and is a breeding ground for fetishistic and racist portrayals.

My tag on the topic is HERE, it does showcase various other blogs and posts about KRP is harmful. If you would like further direction, I would be happy to point you in the right direction

And, lastly, NEVER fucking EVER come to me again telling me that  ‘don’t u know Asians experience racism and, thus, the people who write Asian characters also experience it!! And should be left alone. Bitch, I’m vaguely aware of what Asians go through. And, knowing that, KRPs can go fuck themselves.

[x0401x]

@the flower anon: Okay, so, replying directly to all the +10 asks you sent me would be a handful. It would turn out too long and most of them have really rude content that I’d rather not expose my followers to (also, I guess you would rather forget this embarrassment), so I’ll reply here separately. I honestly would prefer not to add this to the tag, but I can’t be certain that you’d see it otherwise.

As I explained in a previous post, I wasn’t ingoring you. I was offline most of the time because of real-life matters and the blog was mainly running on queue. Plus, time difference is kind of a thing when people live in different countries. It was the dead of the night for me when you sent about half of those asks and I was, as you would guess, asleep. I also had to take my time to write all of this, which is why I took so long with it.

Still, even if I weren’t too busy or if I were awake back then, I don’t owe you an answer, neither do I have any obligation to reply immediately. And unlike what you seem to believe, me not replying doesn’t give you the right to harass me for it. Honestly, what any normal person should be doing in this situation, for the sake of their own stability, is ignore you. But I’ve never ignored anyone in the near decade that I’ve been on this hellsite, though this is nothing to be proud of, so here goes nothing.

I gotta admit, though, that it was kind of entretaining and pretty baffling to see you come back to my inbox acting as if nothing had happened. It’s like you have absolutely no self-awareness and hasn’t realized at all that you straight-up sent me a lot of anon hate. Either that or you were desperate to cover it up.

Anyway, I already told you where I got the info from. You’re the one who didn’t point out any source, even though you claimed that some of the info is wrong, and just basically said that you visited the same sites as me but for some reason the exact same info that you found in them is wrong in my post (how that makes any sense to you is completely beyond me). Most of your asks seem to imply that I simply made everything up. You didn’t even point out what exactly was wrong, just vaguely said that it was slightly off in some parts and some stuff was missing but never went into detail as to what it was, and then obsessed with ships.

You started becoming increasingly aggressive ever since you brought up the topic of MasaMina, so it seems obvious to me that you just wanted to question that part specifically. I turned a blind eye to your inconvenient approach on purpose to give you a chance to get a clue and fix it, but it just got worse with every ask, which, again, made clear to me that all you wanted was to lash out about that subject.

I already explained time and time again why I’ve interpreted the meaning of their flowers as a set. But if you want more detail, I’ll give you an example: one of the messages of jersey lilies, which you claim that represent Masaki alone and have nothing to do with Minato, is “I look forward to the day I meet you again”. There’s literally no character that this could refer to other than Minato. I mean, there’s no one else in the cast that Masaki has met in the past and then met again in the present. Another message is “lovely smile”. One of the recurrent particularities of Masaki and Minato’s relationship is that Minato is captivated by Masaki’s smile, so much that it has given him heartache at some point. Grinning at Minato is also Masaki’s most frequent habit, and Masaki’s smile has relevance as a plot device because it has a psychologically healing effect for Minato. And see, these are things I had already pointed out in that post, just with different words. It’s basically impossible to interpret their flowers without mentioning the other.

To answer your other questions:

I don’t think I talk about Masaki and Minato more than I should. I can’t help that most of the actual hundreds of Tsurune-related asks that I’ve gotten are about MasaMina. Even if they weren’t, my blog, my rules. I decide how much I want to talk about certain characters in my own answers and posts. Who even are you to set a limit to how much I should talk about whatever, anyway?

I didn’t neglect character relationships other than Masaki and Minato’s. I literally mentioned relationships in all of them except Ryouhei’s, because his flower had more general meanings. Even if I hadn’t, all of the Kazemai boys’ flowers, as I said in the post, are relationship-based because they all have the meanings of “prosperity” and “good fortune” in common, and this is probably a mention to their bonds.

I have seen some of the flower language posts by bowcrazy. I don’t see how this fits into the conversation, though.

It honestly seems to me that you didn’t read the post at all, just skimmed it and didn’t like the part about Minato and Masaki. By the way, I didn’t put a disclaimer because it’s all knowledge that I’ve studied by myself, and I only consulted sites to confirm them. Now, for the third time, I have not yet finished proofreading the post, and I’ll definitely add more stuff if I see that there’s info missing, so I think we can get past this one already.

Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t really feel cornered or called out by you. The tantrum you threw in my inbox strikes me as nothing other than boring childishness. I’m far beyond the realm of caring, though. Of course, I’m not sure if you’d be decent enough to apologize for the gratuitous assholery, but I’m willing to put this behind. You said you had other things to ask about and I’m okay with answering them, as long as we keep it civil.

[alifeiwishwasreal]

Dawn - G.W Oneshot

Character: George Weasley

Fandom: Harry Potter

Era: Golden Trio Era

Gender: Female

Info: Reader is of no particular house and a muggle-born. One year younger than the boys as requested.

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, injury.

Summary: You and George have the worst fight in the history of your friendship, leaving Fred to create a dodgy plan in order to get you back together again.

Requested by: Anon

You can remember the day your friendship with the twins was forever solidified in the history of Hogwarts. You were walking through the halls in second year, minding your own business as your friends had gone to lunch. You say friends lightly, more acquittances as you were a muggle-born, and in a particularly prejudice year, you found it hard to slot yourself into the wizarding community.

Then due to the stupidity of two third years, you found yourself covered in whipped cream from the kitchen. Peeves being the messenger that you'd be the culprit of the prank they'd left for Flitch.

Both came running up to you in the halls as an apology which you brushed off – but George convinced his brother that it was obvious she was upset about it. There began their personal mission to cheer you up – sitting with you at lunch, learning about your life, making sure you were out of the way of future pranks – which lead to the friendship you had today. They joke they're only with you out of obligation, but you three were the Musketeers.

Fred knew George was in love with you since you were in fourth year and he was in fifth. A year and a half later he was slowly losing his mind at the cycle his brother went through of wanting to be with you and then wanting to keep it a secret.

But all hell broke loose when the holy trinity was announced to be apart for a day.

"Jake asked me to go to Hogsmeade and I said yes."

"Jake? Tall Jake? Good-looking Jake?" Fred asked as George glared at him.

"Yes, don't sound so surprised." You joked going back to your book as George began to speak his mind.

"And why didn't you say no? Stop him flirting with you?" He asked as you looked up at him confused.

"Because he's nice and cute and I wanted to say yes."

"But we planned stuff this weekend." He insisted as you gave him an annoyed and pointed look.

"Then we'll do it next weekend."

"You don't need a boyfriend Y/N."

"You don't need to control my life, George."

"Can't help that you're a little girl with no one else to run to."

"Can't help that you're an immature twat!"

"Guys!" Fred shouted over both of you.

"What has gotten into you?"

"Me? I'm not the one running off to be with some other person."

"You act like I've told you I'm leaving Hogwarts, I'm going on a bloody date with someone."

"Well, you shouldn't be. He isn't right for you."

"Isn't right for me? Have you got a personal mission to piss me off tonight?!"

"Georgie, calm down."

"Maybe I'm tired of you two flirting."

"US?" Fred responded.

"Maybe I'm tired of you trying to change us, of convincing us to change the way we are and behave. JUST MAYBE I'm tired of babying you and being there to pick up the pieces when this inevitably ends horrifically. MAYBE you need to stop being such an uptight bitch and see I'm doing this for your own GOOD!" He shouted and you stood up raging, anger coursing through your veins as words you never thought you'd say began to come out of the depths of your throat.

"WELL MAYBE I wanna hang out with someone who is intelligent and gives a shit about academics and something OTHER THAN useless pranks as I'd actually like to have serious conversations with a boy who ISN'T possessive and criticising my every move, A HYPOCRITE, and Fred is dating Angelina, you DICKHEAD! MAYBE if you thought about anyone other than yourself, you'd see that you're WRONG and ACTING like a total and complete prideful PRICK!" You screamed as you got up and stormed off, leaving both Fred and George breathless; you never shouted.

One twin turned to the other, and they mirrored the same expression.

"Fucking hell Georgie – what have you done?"

-

Fred had never seen anything like it. It had been a month at this point and you'd done no more but mutter several insults at each other. You'd spoken to him, of course, shared cuddles, rants and homework answers but he'd soon learned there were 2 He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named when it came to you.

Just setting eyes on him could put you in a bad mood.

But Fred knew the façade his brother wore – back in his room he was miserable, and under the influence of firewhiskey he admitted how he wanted nothing more than to forget everything but like you said – he was too prideful.

Fred just thanked the Lord that his brother wasn't completely destroyed, but that was only by the fact that you did not go on that date at all – too enraged by the events and too afraid that a scene would be caused in public.

Fred decided to take matters into his own hands. He'd had enough of the days switching potions partners, running through the Great Hall mid-lunch to see you both, trying to stop the comments he knew neither of you meant.

He knew he had to do the unspeakable. He had to scare his brother.

-

Creating a plan with the beater of your team, he knew as he sat beside his brother that the narrow miss of that ball to your head would fill Fred's thoughts with what could've happen at the thought of that heavy object meeting an element of your person.

You flew towards the snitch, dipping and diving until the way James hit the back of your broom made you spiral around and almost lose your control. Fred felt George shift, and mumble about it being a close one under his breath. James shrugged at you and you looked around as you'd now lost sight of the snitch and began to search low down the ground where it had been beforehand, until you'd actually began to flow up and then it hit you. But James missed his target.

Everyone took a gasp as the ball hit you right in your side and caused you to fall with a thud from 20 feet upwards. All George could hear were screams and comments of shock around him before he shoved everyone to the side so he could scramble down as the game came to a halt.

-

The first thing you noticed when you regained consciousness was that it hurt to breathe. Before opening your eyes you skimmed your hand around, feeling the thin blanket and clothes that felt like your bed wear rather than your Quidditch uniform.

You heard the creaks from another bed that came from the endless patching of muscles and bones after practises and games.

You'd came to the conclusion you were in the infirmary.

You opened your eyes to a faint pink rising from the window across - sunrise. You turned your head and saw the ginger hair laying in a bed next to you. If you didn't know them so well, you might've swore it was Fred but you knew it was George and your heart ached. He'd looked like he'd been crying, and honestly, it was exhausting fighting with him. You were distraught your friendship was so easily thrown away and the amount of times you'd caught yourself going to apologise to him and then seeing him storm away from you.

You went to sit up but the unexpected pain caused you to shout in response, ringing throughout the quiet room as you laid yourself back down and took some deep breaths to try and stop the pain which caused tears to leak.

"Y/N?" George rose from his sleep and wiped his eyes as you looked over and smiled at him.

"Morning sunshine." You joked as he got out of bed and quickly waddle over to sit at your side.

"How you feeling?"

"Like shit." You whimpered through your breaths as your eyes closed again and you took more breaths to try and stop the pain.

"You tried to get up, didn't you?" You nodded quickly and he gave you his hand to squeeze as the pain subdued.

"Its the last of the fixing stage - Pompfrey says you'll be alright by morning."

"It's never been this bad before." You breathed, his hand still encased in yours.

"I'm not surprised - you broke three ribs."

"Three?"

"One from the bludger and two from your fall. Your shoulder got dislocated as well."

"No wonder I feel like shit." You said finally opening your eyes to find him smiling down at you.

"I'm sorry. For everything."

"Me too." You whispered as he lifted your hand up to kiss it.

"I shouldn't of came for you the way I did."

"I shouldn't of shouted."

"Did you know you're really fucking scary when you shout?" He said and you began to laugh but you managed to ignore the hurting it caused. Probably because you were so relieved you were friends again.

"If you're scared I'm gonna forget about you don't. The three of us. It will always be us three."

"It wasn't that." He responded quickly and smoother over your furrowed brows as he squeezed your hand.

"I got jealous because I've been in love with you for a while now-" he took a deep breath and your heart swelled.

"And I don't know but I just couldn't control it and I got angry because I'd had so many opportunities like this and I missed it, ya know?" He admitted, looking down at your hands and seeing how your dainty ones felt in his.

"I knew." You admitted and his eyes met yours with a large amount of panic, as he was urging you to explain.

"The lack of want for a boyfriend? Looking at me throughout lessons? Trying to make me laugh all the time? Fred? You think he can keep a secret?" You asked with a smile as George groaned and put his head on your stomach and you reached down to pet his hair.

"I had my suspicions but I got to the point that I thought you were never gonna do anything or maybe you'd just fallen out of love and so I said yes to Jake after saying no to people for years and then-"

"All hell broke loose." He responded as you nodded.

"You know this is Fred's fault?"

"What did he do?" You sighed.

"Meddled with James so we'd make up."

"And he'd realign the stars and we'd never realise it was him playing Cupid all along."

"Maybe he should've remembered Owen was a better aim than James."

"When this ribcage is better, he's gonna have to run." You threatened and George laughed as he finally rose to sit in front of you again.

"I'd pay to see that." He stated, licking his lips and looking back down to you again in your eyes.

"Are you gonna kiss me or do I have to wait even longer for that?" You asked with a smirk, and George smiled back down at you.

"When did you get so bold?"

"Apparently getting knocked off your broom will do that to you." You smiled as he put his hand to your cheek and leaned down, putting his hand on either cheek and finally putting his lips to yours. His body hovered over you, cradling you like you were breakable, as one of your hands moulded around his wrist, his lips moving slowly against yours as you felt your head sinking deeper against the pillow.

You didn't know how long you were there. Seconds, minutes, hours, but it felt like neither of you could bare to stop. Too long spent debating the cause and effect of what might happen to actually explore what could happen.

When George finally brought himself to pull away, you could see his swollen lips but smiling as if he'd just seen Umbridge catapulted by the Whomping Willow.

"Worth the wait?" You quipped with a whisper, your breathing being the only two things heard - only you, and him and the sunlight in that moment.

"Bloody hell - yes."

[burnedtm]

**   AFTER  MANY  QUESTIONS ,   COMMENTS ,   CONCERNS ,   ASSUMPTIONS ,   &   SALTY  ANON’S ,   I’M  GONNA  EXPLAIN  MY  JESS .   you  can  either  love  her  or  hate  her ,   i  really  don’t  care .   i  just  wanna  get  some  things  straight .   (   aka  it’s  my  turn  to  be  salty .   i’m  not  calling  out  anyone  in  particular ,   nor  am  i  mad .   i  just  want  people  to  understand .   speaking  of  which ,   if  you  have  a  problem  with  how  i  choose  to  play  her ,   that’s  okay .   it’s  chill ,   but  please  take  it  elsewhere  other  than  my  inbox  or  dash .   )

BEFORE  DEATH   :   i  haven’t  gotten  the  chance  to  write  much  of  college  jess ,   but  i  hope  to  soon .   all  we  really  have  from  canon  is  her  name ,   birthdate ,   death  date ,   &   her  halloween  costume  from  2005 .   that’s  pretty  much  it .   because  of  this ,   jess  is  essentially  an  oc .   prior  to  her  death ,   i  believe  she  was  a  happy - go - lucky  student ,   outgoing ,   &   had  an  attitude  that  went  a  long  way .   she  was  bubbly ,   friendly ,   kind ,   &   welcoming .   in  the  world  i  have  set  up  for  her ,   she  was  a  sorority  girl  who  was  on  her  way  to  becoming  a  surgeon .   for  most  of  her  life  she  wanted  to  be  a  surgeon ,   ultimately  settling  on  pediatrics  before  even  getting  the  chance  to  practice  medicine .   with  all  of  this  in  mind ,   i  kind  of  assume  she  came  from  a  good  family .   normal  parents  who  were  still  in  love ,   a  couple  siblings  she  was  close  with ,   &   money  to  go  along  with  it .

AFTER  DEATH   :   this  is  where  shit  gets  tricky .   please  remember  that  no  matter  what ,   she  is  my  character .   i  know  a  couple  people  out  there  hoped  that  she’d  be  much  like  college  jess ,   but  that  isn’t  the  direction  i  went  in .   when  i  set  out  to  write  jess  in  the  first  place ,   i  knew  she’d  come  back  with  a  darker  twist   &   would  be  a  hunter ,   primarily  because  i  miss  writing  sam   &   dean  as  hunters .   that  aside ,   what  she’s  become  in  the  last  couple  months  is  a  direction  i  was  unclear  about ,   but  a  lot  of  her  personality  is  starting  to  take  shape .   so  let’s  get  into  it .

+   choosing  hunting  over  a  normal  life .   though  she’d  spent  five  to  thirteen  years  in  heaven   &   was  cushy  upstairs ,   coming  back  was  a  jab  she  hadn’t  expected .   falling ,   picking  herself  back  up ,   &   wondering  how  the  hell  to  function  was  by  far  the  toughest  thing  to  do .   the  night  she  died  she  knew  it  was  something  otherworldly .   when  she  returned ,   as  much  as  she  wanted  to  leave  it  alone ,  she  couldn’t .   it  was  weeks  of  research ,   spending  a  lot  of  secluded  time  in  shelters  with  a  stolen  laptop .   unbeknownst  to  her ,   the  supernatural   &   hunting  were  real  things   ;   real  monsters ,   real  people ,   real  weird  deaths .   it  was  a  conclusion  that  took  her  for  a  wild  ride .   once  she  figured  out  the  reason  why  she  died ,   she  tried  to  move  on .   eventually  creating  a  fake  name   &   backstory ,   leaving  her  old  life  before  death  alone ,   getting  a  job ,   &   doing  whatever  she  could  to  feel  normal  again .   something  about  hunting  took  up  most  of  her  thoughts .   there  was  no  possible  way  she  could  be  a  surgeon  anymore .   it  wasn’t  in  the  cards  for  her   &   it  was  a  loss  she  mourned  for  quite  some  time .   sadly ,   in  all  of  her  strides  towards  normalcy ,   she  resulted  into  the  mindset  that  if  she  couldn’t  save  lives  in  a  normal  way ,   she’d  save  them  in  another  way .   it  was  a  weird  thought  process ,   but  it  ultimately  saved  her .   all  of  her  temper ,   anger ,   grief ,   &   recklessness  was  taken  out  of  her  system  once  she  met  up  with  other  hunters   &   learned  their  ways .   it  wasn’t  for  months  until  she  heard  the  name  winchester  again .   she  wanted  to  look  sam  up  before  but  didn’t  have  the  heart .   instead  she  made  up  a  fantasy  that  sam  was  a  lawyer  married  to  a  beautiful  woman   &   had  kids .   instead ,   after  hearing  his  name ,   she  did  google  him  only  to  dig  up  dirt   &   the  first  supernatural  book .   hearing  her  own  death  in  great  detail  was  enough  for  her  to  shut  down .   she  knew  that  she’d  come  across  them  eventually ,   but  wasn’t  in  a  hurry  to  do  so .   now ,   no  matter  who  tries  to  talk  her  out  of  the  life ,   it  all  goes  in  one  ear   &   out  the  other .   she’s  stubborn   &   hard  headed  once  she  makes  up  her  mind .   she’s  scarred  up ,   but  doesn’t  care  anymore .   her  reckless  nature  may  get  her  injured  or  possibly  killed ,   but  if  it’s  helping  save  someone ,   she  doesn’t  mind .

+   death ,   drinking ,   coldness .   she’s  hardened  out  completely  since  returning .   in  college  she  was  a  girl  who  was  easily  frightened ,   spooked  by  scary  movies ,   &   huddled  up  near  people  to  show  that  she  was  genuinely  afraid .  it  was  cute .   now  she  wonders  how  she  was  so  clueless .   it  takes  a  lot  to  get  through  her  hard  exterior .   there   are  walls  she  puts  up ,   emotions  she  ices  out ,   &   memories  she  tries  to  block  out .   the  happy  ones   &   the  bad  ones .   she  doesn’t  like  to  feel  but  will  sometimes  seek  out  ways  to  feel  just  to  make  sure  she’s  alive  still .   it’s  very ,   very  easy  for  her  to  turn  off  her  emotions   &   just  shut  down .   it  takes  next  to  nothing  for  the  walls  to  go  back  up   &   for  her  to  be  emotionally   &   mentally  armed ,   sealed  tight  with  armor .   her  drinking  helps  soothe  everything .   it  puts  her  mind  at  ease ,   relaxes  her ,   &   helps  her  block  out  everything  that  makes  her  human .   death  after  resurrection  should  probably  be  protected  at  all  costs ,   but  she  refuses  to  see  it  that  way .   death  is  almost  welcomed .   in  no  way  is  she  trying  to  die ,   but  she  knows  it’s  better  upstairs  than  it  is  here .   though  there’s  a  part  of  her  now  that  feels  tainted ,   wondering  if  heaven  is  even  an  option  next  time .

+   why  she  is  the  way  she  is .   there’s  no  telling  honestly .   when  she  returned  it  seemed  as  though  her  mind  turned  into  a  giant  clustered  mess .   there  was  resentment ,   anger ,   depression ,   &   a  million  other  things  that  were  felt  instantly .   it  killed  her  that  she  wasn’t  her  old  self ,   that  she  could  no  longer  be  the  girl  she  once  was .   life  was  different   ---   the  world  was  different .   everything  seemed  darker ,   uglier ,   more  confusing .   it’s  taken  quite  sometime  to  get  her  bearings   &   she’s  not  quite  sure  she’s  found  them  yet .   she  continues  to  have  an  attitude ,   a  fuck  it  attitude  for  the  most  part .   the  girl  is  stubborn ,   bratty ,   &   doesn’t  like  to  hear  that  what  she’s  doing  is  wrong  or  dangerous .   it’s  not  the  person  people  once  knew .   she’s  different .   the  world  has  changed   &   so  has  she .   expect  walls  being  built ,   traps ,   cinderblock   ---   literally  anything  to  keep  people  out .   smiling  doesn’t  come  often ,   but  when  it  does  its  hidden  away .   she  doesn’t  like  being  vulnerable  or  emotional .   it’s  tough  to  do   &   she’s  constantly  on  edge ,   waiting  for  the  hint  of  a  threat .   vulnerability   &   softness  does  not  come  easy .   when  she  does  show  that  side ,   it’s  because  of  trust   &   she  does  not  trust  easily .

+   the  winchester  situation .   i  feel  like  this  always  comes  up  so  here  it  is   :   she  doesn’t  care  either  way .   that  meaning  finding  the  brothers ,   seeing  them ,   being  taken  in ,   loving  them   .   .   .   none  of  it  was  necessarily  a  road  she  had  to  take .   if  it  happens  it  happens ,   if  it  doesn’t  it  doesn’t .   when  it  comes  to  sam ,   she  wonders  if  it’s  best  to  leave  him  alone  or  not .   she  took  comfort  in  sam  long  ago   &   still  does  now ,   but  gets  confused .   for  one ,   she  imagined  spending  the  rest  of  her  life  with  him .   that  all  got  shot  to  hell  once  she  came   &   learned  the  truth .   it  was  another  thing  she  mourned   &   still  has  trouble  coming  to  terms  with .   he’s  not  the  same  soft   &   gentle  guy  she  knew  in  college .   he’s  hardened ,   worse  for  the  wear ,   it  kills  her  to  see ,   but  she  understands  in  her  own  little  way .   there’s  a  part  of  her ,   the  part  she  died  with ,   that  will  love  him  forever   &   wants  to  hang  around  him  if  she  gets  the  chance  to  do  so .   it  took  her  awhile  to  realize  that  they  weren’t  twenty  anymore .   she  was  supposed  to  be ,   but  they  weren’t .   sam ,   along  with  everything  else ,   has  taken  some  getting  used  to .   as  for  dean ,   she  takes  solace .   they’re  relatable ,   giving  her  some  odd  comfort .

i’ll  probably  add  more  eventually .   for  now  that’s  all  we  need  to  know .   if  you  have  more  questions  then  you  are  more  than  welcome  to  im  me or  send  an  ask ,   but  please  be  nice  this  time .   i’m  fragile   &   don’t  like  the  feeling  that  jess  is  getting  shit  on  for  not  being  canon  compliant  when  we  don’t  know  anything  about  her  whatsoever .   i  apologize  if  she  isn’t  the  jess  you  expected ,   but  there  are  other  wonderful  jessica’s  on  the  site  who  choose  to  be  more  like  what  we  saw  in  the  pilot .   for  now ,   do  whatever  you  want  to  with  this  information .   just   .   .   .   be  nice ?

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Can I have a queer analysis of Treacherous? I know it's low-hanging fruit but it's my current favorite Taylor song.

Wow, I’m clearly ahuge pushover when it comes to personal deadlines! In all seriousness though, thelast few days have been insane! I apologize to anon and everyone else who’sbeen waiting for this; but yes buddy, you can absolutely have an analysis of Treacherous. After all it’s a great songand imo it’s one of Taylor’s gayest!

All interoperation ofthe lyrics are my own and everyone else is free to view it as they personallysee fit, this is merely a suggestion for how to read the song.

AZLyrics provided thelyrics for this as always, so cred to them.

–

Put your lips close to mine

As long as they don’t touch

Out of focus, eye to eye

Till the gravity’s too much

–

Opening lines make something pretty clear, this is asexy song. It’s a song about temptation and lust and most of all it’s a songabout giving in to those things.

So we’re talking about a kiss here or perhaps moreaccurately, the moment just beforeyou kiss someone, when your lips are very close to theirs but not yet touching.How everything else sort of goes out of focus when you’re physically that closeto another person and how all you can see are their eyes and perhaps moreimportantly in this context, their lips. Then finally in the last line gravitypulls the two lovers together and they close the small distance left betweentheir lips and kiss.

“But, Theo!” You all shriek in alarm, “You haven’ttalked about any gay stuff yet, what makes these lines specifically gay?” Well,the pronoun of the lover is kept unspecified for one and the lines could be talking about how as closetedgay lovers you’re constantly tiptoeing that line of what is the appropriatedegree of affection to show in public. You can’t kiss, but is putting your lipsclose together and looking deeply into each other’s eyes, letting the rest ofthe world go out of focus okay? Yes, as long as your lips don’t touch you couldget away with it says Taylor. It’s a risk though, because sometimes the gravitybecomes too much and pulls you in when you’re that close together so the safe betis to only do stuff like that when alone with your secret gay lover, but thenagain nothing safe is worth the drive, is it? Nope, that’s what this whole songis about.

–

And I’ll do anything you say

If you say it with your hands

And I’d be smart to walk away

But you’re quicksand

–

The first time I heard this song I was actually quite surprisedat how racy this was for a Taylor song (of course this was before both 1989 and Reputation)

This is about sex in case anyone was confused and thehands-line immediately brings lesbian sex to mind so that’s um…gayyyyyyyy! 🌈🌈

+ the fact thatTaylor will do anything her lover asks her to (in the bedroom and maybe evenout of it, but we’ll get to that later) as long as she “says it with her hands”also implies that said lover is really, really good at the whole sex thing. So,um, eh, good going, Dianna! …I guess…Tay, this was almost TMI for someone who’sbeen listening to you since you were 16! Seriously, every time Taylor alludesto something sexual in her songs my first thought is always: “Oh my god, stopit Taylor, you’re twelve!”

Kidding, kidding; please keep writing explicitly aboutgay sex, we need more songs about that and I’m proud of you for letting yourlyrics grow up with you!  

Anyway, after the whole sex thing Taylor informs usthat the smart thing to do would be to walk away from her lover and theirrelationship, but she’s in too deep already and her relentless unforgivingattraction (physical as well as emotional) to this woman just keeps pulling herdeeper still, as if she was stuck in quicksand unable to move.

–

This slope is treacherous

This path is reckless

This slope is treacherous

And I, I, I like it

–

We’ve previously talked about Taylor using “dangerous”or “reckless” as a word for exploring or indulging in one’s same-sex attraction(similar to how she sometimes uses “princess” for heterosexual girls and otherwords associated with royalty/fairy-tales for her career-motivated, publichetero-image) and this song is the ultimate example of this.

She’s saying she knows that acting on her attraction tothis woman is a dangerous, reckless thing to do, but she’s also saying that shelikes it, she likes the element of danger, she likes being attracted to womenand to this one in particular. Being in lesbian relationships is a treacherousthing when you’re closeted and famous, for this same reason it’s also not asmart thing (career-wise) for her to do, II’s a slippery slope towards beingcaught in a compromising gay moment and having to come out. She knows all thisand yet she doesn’t care, because she wants the relationship, the love and thepreviously stated hella good sex.  (“We need love, but all we want is danger”)

–

I can’t decide if it’s a choice

Getting swept away

I hear the sound of my own voice

Asking you to stay

–

So Taylor knows that acting on these gay desires ofhers are not to recommend and yet she finds herself asking the girl to say withher to try and make the relationship work, because just as Taylor can’t controlher attraction to women (because, ya know, being gay is in no way a choice)“getting swept away” and falling for someone isn’t a choice either. Despitewhat Taylor says about now being able to tell if she’s chosen this predicamentfor herself by encouraging the ill-advised relationship to go on, we in fact donot control when and how we fall in love.

Being with Dianna may not be the smartest thing forwhatever reason, be it the gay thing or other aspects of thismaybe-not-entirely-healthy relationship. As Taylor herself has admitted therelationship most of the songs on Red areabout was in fact toxic in some ways. (x)

All that be damned though, Taylor is in love and wantsher girlfriend to stay despite it all.

–

And all we are is skin and bone

Trained to get along

Forever going with the flow

But you’re friction

–

To me the “skin and bones”-line could indicate that much ofthe relationship is sexual at this point, Like their chemistry and connection is now mostly sexual…I guess that this could also betalking about beards though, oddly enough…Hear me out here. So, Taylor and herbeards are in a sense trained to get along, Taylor (presumably) not beingattracted to men has to pretend to be all the time, not just in music videos orwhen she uses male pronoun in a song, but also to her beards and since she’ssupposedly dating this guy their chemistry has to look natural. Skin and boneprobably refers to a body right and my first impulse was to relate it to bodiesin literal, (gay) sexual context since like I’ve said this song is prettysexual, but what if she just means that she’s trained to get along with themale body out in public (just as her gay beards have to pretend to be attractedto girls and the female body in order to make them look convincing as acouple.)  Since their chemistry has tolook real and couple-y Taylor tends to just “go with the flow” and do whatlooks natural when in public with le beard (mostly just hold his hand)

This is whatshe’s been “trained” (by PR-team and publicists) to be able to do with males inorder to be “straight-passing”, but going with the flow and acting natural withyour “boyfriend” when you have a relationship with your secret girlfriendbecomes hard. Taylor often refers to herself as an “actress” in the context ofbearding and acting becomes harder when you have something real to compare itto. There are such contrasts between how Taylor acts with her beards and withher actual girlfriend that the real relationship becomes a force pushing Tayloraway from the beards and stopping any chemistry she might’ve been able toforce, blocking her “straight-passing”-ability with real and natural chemistrythat now makes whatever she does with the beards look stiff and forced incomparison (because it is….)

As we know friction is a force that slows down anobject’s movement, in this case, Taylor is the object and the girlfriend is theforce blocking her ability to seem or act straight.

Bonus fact: the “friction”-line is also very coolsince the verses before it follow an ABAB rhyme scheme, but this line goesagainst that just like friction goes against the direction of movement. THE LINE IS LITERALLY FRICTION AND TAYLORALISON SWIFT IS A LYRICAL GENIUS!!

…Sorryfor being such a lit student for a second, moving on now.

–

(Chorus)

–

Two headlights shine through the sleepless night

And I will get you a—get you alone

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know

That nothing safe is worth the drive

–

On 1989 somethingthat seems to come up a lot in the songs that I personally assume to be aboutDianna is cars or driving. That seems to have gotten its start on Red in this song as well as in thetitular song, Red (“Loving her was like driving a new Maseratidown a dead-end street”) in this song we see the car theme yet again. To methe image being painted by this line is always two lovers going home togetherthrough the night, but with no plans of sleeping (😏) hence the sleeplessnight.

“To get someone alone” is a phrase Taylor uses quite alot in her songs and I think it refers to when her and her current girlfriendare not in public and thus can actually act like a couple as opposed tootherwise when they have to pretend to be merely friends. So basically they’redriving home together and away from the heteronormative public.

“Your name has echoed through my mind” or somevariant thereof is also a choice of words Taylor has used in more than one songand it seems to signify that she’s deeply in love or infatuated with someone. Sobasically what she’s saying is that while in public pretending to be platonicwith her girl all she’s actually thought of is how in love she is and how niceit’ll be to be alone and get to be romantic away from flashing cameras andprying eyes.

Here she’s letting the girlfriend know that while she’saware their relationship is “dangerous” (translation: gay) she doesn’t wantanything else, she doesn’t want “safe” (translation: straight) because that’s notreal (a straight relationship couldn’t be real for Taylor since she’s y’know, gay)and therefore wouldn’t be worth the effort, or “the drive” to keep with the cartheme.

–

And I would follow you, follow you home

I’ll follow you, follow you home

–

So, at first glance this seems creepily stalkerish, doesn’tit? *laugh* but I’m pretty sure that what it means is Taylor and Dianna couldn’tleave some sort of public event together. Why? Well, that’d indicate that theywere going home together (which theyobviously were but das gay, shhhhh) so instead Taylor simply left a while afterDianna and proceeded to follow her home in a separate car so they could meet upthere instead of leaving together. The lines simply refer to details you haveto keep in mind when your relationship is secret, such as not publicly goinghome together.

–

This hope is treacherous

This daydream is dangerous

This hope is treacherous

I, I, I… I, I, I… I, I, I…

–

Remember before when I said that maybe the “I’ll doanything you say”-line wasn’t solely applicable in a sexual situation? Yeah,maybe this relationship had gotten Taylor hoping and perhaps even daydreamingabout a possible come out someday. I know there has been Swiftgron speculationabout how Dianna wanted to come out, well maybe Taylor was starting toseriously contemplating doing that for/with her? She still knew however that having hope for thatblissful someday where they could befree to love openly was probably gonna lead to disappointment, it was unwise and daydreaming about it was downright dangerous since that’d feed that littleflicker of hope. Yet Taylor doesn’t seem to be able to help herself here. There’shopefulness in the very way she sings these lines if you ask me.

–

(Chorus)

–

This slope is treacherous

I, I, I like it

–

Speaking of hope, to me it seems like the song ends inquite a hopeful way too, Taylor reminds us again that she’s aware that the pathshe’s headed down may be dangerous and unwise, treacherous if you will, butthen lastly she reminds us again that she actually doesn’t care because shelikes that danger. Remind me, in Taylor’s songs what is described as either “dangerous”or “reckless” (or both) most of the time? That’s right people, Taylor Swift likes being a giant lesbian because G IR L S !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That’s the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard tbh)

Oh god, Treacherousreally is a gay mess of a song, huh? I,I, I like it…though!

–

Thanks for reading asalways and I hope you enjoyed!

Next song is The Way I Loved You and I will try to have it up tomorrow though we’vealready established I’m not the best with deadlines, but rest assured I am getting to all of my analysis requestssooner or later, that I promise!

Don’t hesitate tosend me asks if you have suggestions for more songs to analyze from a queerperspective or if you just want to talk or have questions! 😊

[tumble4rpdr]

the ppl saying v is non-confrontational are making me chuckle... did y'all watch untucked? that fight in episode 7 with yvie in particular is as confrontational as one can get - didn't the producers/other queens have to separate them because they almost came to blows? or what about in vegas revue when v confronted db about all the matchmaking/pimping her out? i agree that v is definitely a private person and seems to prefer keeping herself and others accountable off-screen rather than holding people accountable publicly/in front of everyone, and personally I prefer it that way. I'd rather all the drama be about which queen is dating who or who's had a falling out than learning the ins and outs of everyone's views on (for example) politics, which will always be controversial just in virtue of the fact that queens (or anyone else) will never please everyone. there's a reason religion and politics aren't talked about at the dinner table!! I think v shows her beliefs in her actions, e.g. wearing a trans flag face mask, supporting bio queens, posting photos with her "I voted" sticker on IG - not everything needs a public statement to go with it that haters (and even fans) will inevitably find fault with. I think it's smart that v stays on topic and keeps herself famous for what she wants to be famous for (i.e. drag, entertainment) rather than for her opinions. not saying she has bad opinions, or that I wouldn't welcome it if she wanted to start talking about more serious stuff - i absolutely would! I love and fully support sex ed with kamjie for example! but haters are haters and it would open v up to a whole new world of criticism which i totally understand her not wanting to get into it. v would've seen the impact of all the intense hatred silky received during s11 first-hand, and the hate that b and jbc received after the first season of canada, and i imagine that puts one off being vulnerable about the really personal stuff publicly. with regard to PV, other people here are right that maybe they took a bunch of precautions before and after they went that we don't know about - or maybe v went, saw afterwards how irresponsible it was & was ashamed/embarrassed so didn't want to draw any further attention to it. who knows! but the bottom line is that, as others have said, she doesn't owe us any public accountability - i'd prefer private accountability and changed actions (e.g. we never saw v partying like that again, and now she's vocal about being vaccinated) rather than a meaningless/performative public statement that doesn't actually change any bad behaviour. but being private about this sort of stuff isn't the same as being non-confrontational in my opinion 😂

You’re definitely making good points too anon but I’m wondering now if the examples you showed disprove that Vanjie is non-confrontational (which they could since there have certainly been times where things have gotten heated between V and other people) or if they further emphasize that she can come across (or tries to come across) as strong and tough (both when defending her friends as well as herself) but ultimately is actually non-confrontational since we know how bad she felt after confronting these queens and that she ultimately apologized to Yvie for how she acted (since she was likely embarrassed and knows that that’s not the person she is/wants to be and she just got caught up in the moment).

I think you’re right about Vanjie being a (surprisingly) private person (as I believe was mentioned in a previous ask) and that if she does speak to her friends about their behavior she doesn’t do it publicly (which-like you-I think might ultimately be better). I appreciate your input on wanting/not wanting V to publicly speak out about certain issues since (like I said in previous asks) I really think it’s all a matter of opinion and so far it seems like it’s a mixed bag of some people wanting (though not demanding) that from her and some people not needing that from her (especially since-like you said-V seems to show how she feels more through her actions).

I also agree with you in terms of Vanjie not wanting to speak out about certain things to avoid the risk of controversy since (like was mentioned in previous asks) I feel like she’s self-aware and likely knows that she doesn’t necessarily have all the information/answers and doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and/or offend someone or cause an unnecessary stir, since when it comes to serious/sensitive issues there is a higher chance of having passionate differing/opposing views and opening yourself up to scrutiny. And like you said, there might not be one “best” answer/opinion that pleases everyone so it’s likely that V instead shows her beliefs and her character through her everyday actions (including-as you mentioned-outwardly showing her trans-people, supporting hyper queens, and very strongly supporting and defending black and brown drag performers) and chooses only to publicly show the lighter, more entertaining parts of herself since she likely ultimately puts herself as a drag performer/entertainer first when it comes to how she believes her fans see her. I feel the same way about the PV incident since I think that in that moment there was no way to handle the situation that would’ve pleased everyone and I think you’re right that V likely felt ashamed or embarrassed about it all and wanted to move on (and-as you mentioned-the important thing is that V is showing growth through her actions showing that she did learn from what happened).

You do make a point when you say that being more private about things doesn’t necessarily mean that Vanjie is non-confrontational but (like I said earlier) to me the belief that V is non-confrontational more so has to do with the fact that while she might get into things with people, she ultimately doesn’t want to (she just has a lot of strong feelings that can sometimes cause her trouble) and always seems to end up feeling ashamed of her behavior snd/or feeling bad she hurt anyone, so I don’t think that it’s in her nature to be confrontational (and like was mentioned in a previous ask I think she’d rather just keep the peace and not get into things), she just has a lot of passion and intense feelings and she doesn’t always express them in the best ways.

[ruginite]

P.S.A. - I’ve Counted To Three

Originally I had fully intended not to publicly address this. However after some careful consideration, attempting to resolve the issue privately to no avail, and the influx of anon hate that has been flooding into my inbox...I’ve decided to make a statement. Which for those interested can be found beneath the cut.

First of all I would like to make it clear that there will be no call outs here. No names @’d. No tagging of the individual with which the issue arose. Why? Because it is honestly beneath me to stoop to that level of ugliness and leave something that could be deemed negative on their tag. No matter the fact the same courtesy was not shown to me or the other person which the issue affected.

That being said.

The individual was blocked by me, for reasons I did not feel I needed to specify at the time. Nearly a month (perhaps more) after the blocking occurred, said individual became aware of it (or perhaps just became publicly vocal about it). Either way there was a substantial amount of time between the time of me blocking and it becoming a publicly known situation. And from there it is has just...gotten out of hand. 

Therefore, I felt it reasonable that I (who has remained 'publicly’ silent about it prior to this) should post what happened and what was done about it from my own point of view. So that those of you who are mutual followers of me and the individual will be able to make an informative decision on what you wish or wish not to do. In regards to anything from your opinion of me to who or who not to unfollow or block or whatever it is you may be struggling with in regards to this extremely sticky situation. One which I do apologize that you became wrapped up in to start with.

Over the course of this weekend, I decided in an attempt to defuse the situation to unblock the individual and message them. Explaining why I unfollowed and blocked. And requesting that they stop the hostility, remove my tag from their call out post, and let us move on with our separate existences here on tumblr and other forums. I was responded to with animosity. (Which i am not saying isn’t their right, they were clearly upset.) But I will leave it up to you, the reader, to decide. You may find the contents of that correspondence here:

As some of you may know, (because you were following me when I posted it and/or helped out) my family started the year off in financial crisis. The kind that can not be foreseen or expected. And because of this both myself and my husband were forced to do something neither of us are great at doing, which is asking for help. We believe in hard work and earning your own way and dealing with your own pit falls. However with children it’s not such an easy thing to expect them to suffer because life threw you an unforeseeable curve ball. So we reached out to family and friends and after two days of struggling over it I made a post asking if anyone here could assist. I did not reblog it multiple times, I did not beg. I posted it once and only once. (As to what others did with it for single boosting purposes was not asked for. Though I and my husband greatly appreciated the help and kindness shown to us via the single boosts and the donations made.) 

That was nearly three months ago. We’re still in a holding pattern and we are still dealing with unemployment but thanks to family and friends and finally getting into the state run program to help families during such types of crisis, we are still afloat and hopefully soon will hear back from one of over a dozen places that have shown interest in hiring. So do please keep your fingers crossed for us.

All of that to explain what exactly was being thrown back in my face in the response that I received, above and beyond the implication that I sent some (or maybe all because nothing is safe to assume anymore) of the anonymous hate that the individual received regarding the drama that began when they published their call out post. 

I’d like to take a moment to make one thing abundantly crystal clear ---

I did not, have not, and will not send anonymous hate to anybody. No matter what they do. What they say. Or how they treat me or my friends.

I’ve never done it before and I have no intention of starting now. It’s not my style. On top of the fact that I receive too much of it in a given week to even think about putting anyone else through that sort of garbage. I live my life based on karma. And karma always, always, comes back to you in threes. And I’ve got enough challenges right now to even dare chance collecting bad karma. Let alone that sending anonymous hate is just straight up ugly. You’ve got to be a very particular shade of horrible to do it. You’ve got something to say? Say it face to face. If you can’t say it like that? You shouldn’t say it at all. And in some cases shouldn’t say it anyway.

Now where perhaps I should have let it lie, simply reblocked and left them to do whatever it is they were or weren’t going to do. But I didn’t. I tried again. And this is what I sent:

I have not received any response to this. At this point I have no idea if I will, but I am going to leave channels open (e.g. keep this blog unblocked) until at least Tuesday. I do my best to give everyone time to respond because some times real life gets in the way of life here on tumblr. After Tuesday however I will block. And I will move on. And as far as I am concerned the matter will be closed. Because I have done everything I can to defuse the situation, with zero co-operation on their part.

In regards to the anons I have received, the individual has received, and any others have received regarding this fiasco...

Whoever it is that is sending them. Please stop. You are not helping. You are only making it worse, blowing it further out of proportion and causing oceans of unnecessary upheaval and discourse. Enough is enough. And we passed enough two days ago, when the call out post was made. 

And I will close with one last point:

I and the other person for which the call out post affected - do not owe the individual nor anyone else an apology for blocking said individual. Like everyone else here on this site, we have a right to block who we chose, when we chose, for whatever reason we chose--with or without explanation. That is our prerogative. Our right to keep our dashes and our lives here on Tumblr shaped how we want them to be shaped. It is a real shame that there are people that do not understand that. That they feel as though they are entitled to information that is effectively not their business. 

So I would like to turn this entire situation into a chance to remind everyone: 

If you are blocked it was for a reason. Let it go. Not everyone is going to like you. Just like not everyone likes oranges. Or not everyone likes the color blue. 

If you block someone do not let anyone guilt trip you about it. No matter the circumstances.  Blocking someone is your right and your choice. Never let someone make you feel bad about removing something from your dash that either upsets you or otherwise negatively affects your Tumblr experience. 

Everyone be safe and live long,

Chicken

[themagnumnopus-blog]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN! :D

Long Time No See

Originally this was hitting the 15 paragraph mark when I wrote my first and second draft of it sadly I had cut down the first draft to start the second and had to deal with crippling disk and memory space errors on the part of my laptop for days and days, going a sentence or two if I was really lucky, killed everything but the Tumblr tabs I had open at one point and still I was burring the needle at 99% Disk and Memory with them alternating when I would get a lall which turned out to be a bit of a damnable issue here are two almost 3 weeks past the 3 or 4 days I wanted off to here turning into a several week long slog to get back to fighting form when it came to Tumblr, worlds number one rated non-optimised writing platform. ;) Short story, I was doing nothing special at the time when Google crashed and everything I had started and saved up from weeks of interspersed work, pop, just deaded. Not letting it get to me or get the better of me. So much and many apologies to all who’d been waiting for my return and none for those I knew were praising the Sun for my departure. Back to the mission.

Yeah so your probably wondering why Believer is up there well when I was balls deep in 15 paras of information, addresses, etc. I explained that. I will now summerise. As the song goes ‘I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been’ and indeed I am both perturbed and exhausted at the sheer amount of pointless skullduggery that goes on in these parts. In tall and in short, there is a large number of people, roughly 20-30 blogs worth of people, I have talked to concerning a group of blogs behind a series of anonymous attacks both in asks and in attacks on character. Example: People being approached and told to stay away from this particular them, unprovoked sudden advice from formerly unknown parties. I have evidence. Corroborated witness testimonies, screenshots and so on by those that had been approached. I’m not releasing the names of those I’ve uncovered, I dropping this all, washing my hand and walking away. Frankly, this has all been sadly not worth it, in time, effort, etc. though there are moments of this that will bring me unparalleled joy for years to come. I’m done this is over end of it, wanna talk about it come too me.  I’m winning this the only way I care to. This is with a moral victory. How is this a win you ask? Well, I’ve conducted myself with pride, dignity, and respectability. I could have had the people I talked to block these people like they’ve had others do, through manipulative and scummy practices. Could have had everyone I talked to flood and I mean flood their ask box in waves give them back in a couple days, a couple of hours what they gave my friend over months and months. I could have easily organized a staged, collaborative effort to have the people I talked to confront the accused about what they are accused of which would provide a net result of these people, one, in particular, doing what they tend to and probably blocked a significant portion of their followership to just think that they are winning by slamming the door and not answering anyone who might have information on what objectively bad things they’ve done. Oh just to mention it. Every single one of my sources was a member of the involved's followership. All considered, it would have been an intoxicating catharsis to ruin several days of these people, one in particular, organizer, described mastermind, lead poisoner, arch-advocate of the attacks on my friend but that’s something I could have and would have done and acted on the first week I had the info. This is not something I did, could have but that’s not me. No matter what anyone pours it in your ear or tries to. I’m better than these people. Not better than my followers, friends, most people but for fucking sure these scummy cowardly bottom feeders. In that I mean people that attack with anon hate and ORGANIZE attacks on character. I feel bad for those they manipulated, they lost out on a really cool friend by not giving them a chance. Think on the people you’ve blocked and why, ask yourself what they did to earn it, seriously. Maybe try reconnecting for a second chance, another try. If they really actually turn out to be bad you can always jump back behind the sandbags and cut ties. Everything above taken into account even beyond those that could and would get hurt there’s a serious question of those involved competence, mental health and ability to be held to account for their actions. I’ve done some serious looking into things like arrested development the condition, not the show. It’s an interesting read and sadly fits the actions of some of these folks a little too well. I advise anyone interested have a look. Ask them for screenshots, theirs not a single person in this community on this platform or any other that could ever provide a single negative screenshot concerning me, telling someone to block someone else, telling someone to harass someone or that I’m pleased to hear how you’ve been harassing someone. I’m ending this so truly innocent and generally respectable people do get hurt in this proses, in the flamethrower of facts and evidence I’d be bringing to this and given things as of now I’m done. I have one closing remark for this. Goes to show “You can have the moral high ground every single time if you pick your weapons and your battles.” - Me to someone that didn’t believe me.

PART 2 - The Second Thing, Second. And as that second line goes ‘Don’t you tell me what you think that I can be... I’m the master of my sea’ I’ll make this brief. Far briefer than the above. A lot and I mean a lot of people on here are all smoke and no fire. All talk and no action. Not all but most. I got a titanic ration of shit for not for flapping my fucking gums about standing up to bullies, anon hate spewing cowards, etc. but actually going out of my way to do something about it, to stand up not just against bullying but for a very close and dear friend. I’m in charge of what I do. You are in charge of what you do. I do what I do because it is founded on long-held beliefs and well thought through moral founding, unbrake able but not unmovable. I’m open to change even welcome it but you have to convince me. If you challenge my beliefs, especially if I respect you, I will explain my beliefs and defend them. I never have to justify them because they are self justifing. --- Bullies are trash. Yeah, I think you all agree. Stand up for your friends whether or not it’s cool. I think it’s pretty solid. Have self-confidence when facing a foe any foe but especially a cowardly one. Anyone man that's fought a war, even most that didn’t, can tell you their branch was the best god damn branch ever on the face of the planet. ---- About the size of the important ones. You don’t have to believe ‘em or follow ‘em but by golly bring a real sensible argument if you wanna refute them with me. I’m willing to respectfully listen to anyone but bring more than ‘your wrong, I’m right’ with you pretty please. Further and more you should never be a puppet to what other people want you to do. That said I will list what I do here, you do not have to do it, I do not care what you do to/ or with anon hate, I will help you and stand up for you if you need me but I don’t care generally because how you handle your business because it is your business and not mine, not that I don’t care about you. BUT. I respect you enough to believe you are capible enough to choose for yourself what to do. I have heard it all and know what I am doing please resect that. I’ll hear anyone out ever but understand just because you and I talk doesn’t mean I ever have to do what you say. Same with you, to me. How it should be. Okay? Got it? Good.

Things I do to and with bullies. I make a display out of mocking them. I will look like the worst human on earth and not care and it will be bookended with an intelligent and pointed reply to whatever criticism they bring. I will and do strut around unafraid of pathetic little anon worms because unlike most people hear I have belief, conviction, and experience. I have been shot and stabbed. And I’d take one or the other again for most people, friends and good ones most of all. I see anons, hate most of all as the most cowardly and pathetic bullets or alternatively grenades. ANON HATE HURTS PEOPLE. I will whether seas of it, give anons note and reply to every single one I get to stop it from hurting people, from hurting someone that rare rare person that doesn’t turn it off or answer it but reads it, reads them all because to know what anon hate is and or whether or not you got it, you have to read it. Damage. Done. So just delete it is not feasible. IN MY OPINION. If you think I’m wrong... I haven’t gotten any since I got on here and my friend that was getting hate, it stopped the day I showed up and made my statement. The day I called them out and stood up for my friend’s character. If I or they go any... you’d have seen a violent and visceral display of vocal retribution fit to section me. Sound track the verbal violation and everything. Everyone says to turn off anon. I will not and never will. Why not? They win, they made you change and that will spur them on to the next one and the next one. It’s worse for not replying because they are annoyed at that and once they hit the right person at the right time. BOOM it’s over they pushed some great off the site, stopped an artist,  writer, a person, a human being from enjoying themselves on here. Not right and I’ll never stand idol for it and I’ll never take a back seat. I will jusmp on and rip apart any anon hate that comes my way with the biggest smile and darkest laugh because as the song goes.

“How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally.”

I’m done with this. Anyone that want’s me talk to me privately or openly or whatever. Don’t care. I’ve burned tons of time on this, setbacks, problems, a friend acting a fool over it and the writing of this in one go tonight, right now, done. Hope you enjoyed the read. Don’t be shy come by and say ‘hi’ :)

BOOM!  I’m back :3

[bbq-hawks-wings]

It's been several days now, and no one has been able to dig up the conversation(s) this anon is supposedly talking about. They do not exist as I suspected from the start.

Most of the time I would just ignore this and keep moving on, but I think it's time I made good on my threat to let everyone else watch if you decide to clown on anon.

Why? Just because I'm nice most of the time doesn't mean it's ok to waltz into my blog and leave me messages that are entitled, rude, falsely accusatory, rope in my friends, and then try to package it all like you're in the right.

You are in my house. If you hate it here you are welcome to leave! Block me for all I care. If me making fun of the nickname "baby bird" but not the fans once or twice in the past is enough for you to get your knickers in this much of a twist, I don't want you here, anyway. You clearly do not posses the maturity to understand that:

Making fun of a thing or having a strong dislike of it does not mean those negative opinions apply to those who do enjoy it.

I am allowed to not like anything just as much as you are allowed to like whatever you do. Me and my mutuals have said this for years.

I am not required to tiptoe around the thing I don't like, nor do I have to pretend to like it just because some random person on the internet doesn't like the specific combo of words I use.

If you have a problem with me, private message me first about the problem to see if we can settle it without any drama first. You jumped straight to a messaging format that had to be answered publicly in order for me to reply to you which now ropes in all of my followers, too. Three other people, without me knowing or asking them to, went fishing through my blog to find these posts and they came up empty and let me know as much. Anon is not a private messaging function. Why did you think that was the appropriate way to bring up this to me - let alone when it showed that your accusations don't have a leg to stand on?

Did you have me confused with someone else, or did you simply not like that I had negative things to say about those nicknames at the time? Either way, I got nothing back from you about this. No apology, no admission that I didn't make fun of people, nothing. You just let this sit and ignored it hoping I would, too. You displayed zero accountability, so now I'm doing it for you.

I'm not some special kind of fan that has to cater to everyone. I try to hold myself with dignity and respect in general, and while I usually display that for others in my responses, it's time to remind some that I hold these for myself, too. In other words, I have the right to defend myself from bogus drama like this, especially with the general increase of it I've gotten in the past several months. There's no reason whatsoever that I shouldn't be able to post my opinions about fiction. If you took or take my and my friends' opinions about what we do and don't like personally - especially when we aren't talking about you or any other person - that's frankly a you problem. It does not warrant coming into my inbox and lobbing false claims against me and others.

Treat this blog like you were visiting my house. Nothing is keeping you here, and you are free to leave any time if you don't like the atmosphere. If you have a problem, pull me to the side and privately address it with me instead of shouting it to the room. That way, if you are off base I at least have the option to keep it private instead of having no choice but putting your ask on blast for all my followers to see just so I can address you in particular. I already know not everyone is going to like me no matter how nice I am in general, and that doesn't bother me if anyone wants to leave. It's a different matter completely when someone comes into my inbox with the intent to tell lies about me and others or kick up drama for no reason.

you guys have been too harsh on people who used the nickname baby bird. i remember you and a mutual suddenly bringing up the person who make the audios making fun of them. mind you this is all unprompted like you guys cant let other people do what they want on properties that you guys dont own.

Where was this interaction? I cannot remember it whatsoever. I do know I have mentioned not being into those audios and finding them personally off-putting in the past as well as some of the nicknames that got popular because of them; but I don't remember explicitly making fun of the people who do.

In good faith, can you provide receipts? If I said something that was clearly putting down people who liked those popular audios, then I will apologize. If I'm simply expressing my own personal opinion on the audios themselves and not the people enjoying them, I will not.

[poetzproblem]

I have started to notice something and was wondering if there is a reason to it. Why is Quinn always the one in the wrong? On DOEP, on the baby discussion (she wasn't wrong but she was putted as the one who overreacted), on POTS (by the debates on the blog you can see who people deem wrong) and on the Teresa thing, where Rachel was in the wrong, Quinn was still the one who ended being forgived for going to confront Teresa (and lets be honest, if Quinn was the one who flirted + \Part 1/2

+++ she would have received a lot more of backlash than Rachel). Is it because of considering Rachel incapable of doing any wrong? Or because Quinn’s past mistakes will always put her as the “bad” one? I’m not trying to criticized you! I’m actually asking because I didn’t notice this only here. And Merry Christmas! Part 2/2

I won’t answer in a blanket statement for other writers or fandom in general. And it’s not my intention to seem rude or evasive, but I’ve gotten variations of this question in the past. Yours is certainly the nicest version to date, but it always seems to lead into a debate about the way fandom writes Quinn or the way I write Quinn that I’d rather not revisit again. So right up front, I’m making it known that I’ll answer this question in regards to my own writing and the examples you’ve listed but I won’t be answering follow-ups on this particular subject.

To start, I have to say that I personally feel like the interpretation of which character is wrong and which is right in any given circumstance more often than not might be based on the readers’ own character preferences. And that’s not a criticism of you, Anon. We all have our favorites, and we all tend to bring our own expectations and perception to every story we read of film we see or television show we watch.

Perception can also be influenced by the point of view that a story is being told in—Rachel is obviously going to think she’s right even when she’s wrong. So is Quinn.

That being said, I don’t agree that some of the examples you listed above paint Quinn as the bad guy or as wrong. And I’m not automatically going to claim that I’m right because I wrote them, because I understand that some people will read a situation differently than I do or miss the more subtle cues that I try to add into the text—and if that second one is the case, then I’ve failed to some degree as a writer. 

My own interpretation to these specific situations is explained under the cut for those who don’t care to read the long-winded fic analysis:

In DOEP, yes, Quinn placating her ex-girlfriend in front of her current girlfriend and failing to see the problem in that did make her more in the wrong in that situation—though Rachel’s behavior isn’t perfect. She’s jealous and possessive and gets angry at Quinn because she feels hurt. If someone feels that wasn’t adequately acknowledged in her own internal admission of her jealousy over Sarah and her external apology for walking away from Quinn without telling her exactly why she was upset rather than leaving Quinn to guess at it, then again, I failed somewhere in the text.

But I disagree that Quinn was painted as wrong with the baby situation. It was a no-win argument for both of them, and I feel that I portrayed it that way. Quinn wanted what she wanted and Rachel didn’t, and Quinn felt hurt and betrayed and angry and then disappointed—all perfectly natural reactions for someone in her position. And Rachel felt pressured and defensive and terrified and then guilty—also natural reactions. Neither of them were wrong, but both of them initially reacted in wrong ways. Rachel got defensive instead of admitting what her real concerns were, and Quinn got upset and belligerent.  

The place where Quinn admits (and Santana agrees) that she may have overreacted was specifically in reference to her conversation with Santana—which I never wrote out in detail—where she claimed that her marriage was built on lies just because Rachel wasn’t ready for a baby right at that moment. But that overreaction was Quinn being led by her anger at the perception that Rachel was shutting down her dream of a family. 

For me, Quinn being quick to anger is as much a part of her character as Rachel’s self-centeredness. Maybe that makes it seem like she’s being shown as the one who’s wrong, but for me, it’s a Fabray characteristic that Rachel is well acquainted with.

And that also played into the situation surrounding Rachel’s first meeting with Teresa. Quinn was most certainly not wrong for being upset that Rachel was a little too flattered by another woman flirting with her. I never wrote out that particular argument, but in Make Me Wanna Stay, it is mentioned that they’d had one and that Rachel had apologized for failing to make it known that she wasn’t interested in Teresa. Quinn’s apology wasn’t about Quinn confronting Teresa specifically; it was that she was being a little vindictive about the whole situation by throwing Rachel’s mistake back in her face when Rachel thought that she’d already been forgiven—and doing it in a way that played on Rachel’s insecurities about how easily Quinn could seduce a woman like Teresa if she wanted. And that’s happening because Quinn is still insecure about Rachel—it’s still early days in their relationship after all. They very specifically both acknowledged that they hadn’t handled it in the best way and apologized to each other for their behavior.

That particular ficlet was, in fact, a direct response to conversations on this blog regarding Shuffling the Cards Of Your Game. Some people felt that Quinn had the right to be angrier at Rachel about the Teresa thing than she seemed by the actual confrontation with Teresa while others felt like Quinn confronting Teresa was a problem because it meant that Quinn was being jealous and didn’t trust Rachel. I realized that both were valid points, so I wrote that scene to address those concerns to some degree and to show that, at that point in their relationship, they were still learning how to be a couple and building a new kind of trust and that it wasn’t always smooth sailing.

Again, these things happen in DB because Quinn is not completely defanged from her high school self. She’s not a saint, and she occasionally does or says hurtful things because she’s been hurt. Rachel will react to that as Rachel would–with all of their history in play. And Rachel occasionally acts selfishly or thoughtlessly and ends up hurting Quinn. And they both occasionally get defensive and confrontational. But then they talk it out and make compromises.  

And Rachel is the one that ‘compromised’ on the baby thing, admitting that she was wrong to let her fear stop her from fully embracing having a family with Quinn.

As for POTS, I feel like it’s the discussion on this blog that’s more coloring the perception of Quinn being at fault in some way than the stories themselves. Quinn isn’t being cast as the villain in that universe—she had every right to be hurt by Rachel’s rejection of her in the first part. In fact, Rachel was pretty much seen as the bad guy right after the first installment.

I think most people understand why Quinn never wanted to speak to Rachel again after what she believed had been done to her. Rachel led her on and made her believe she was finally getting everything she wanted only to rip it away in the worst way imaginable at her absolute most vulnerable moment. But maybe because Rachel got the closing point of view where we find out the why of everything, she ends up getting a little more sympathy in the discussions that followed here because she’s the one who ended up alone and unhappy while Quinn has (mostly) moved on. And, as someone pointed out, they both really sucked at communicating in that universe, so Quinn refusing to take Rachel’s calls—even if she and Rachel both felt it was justified in the text—wasn’t really the healthiest way for either of them to move on.  

I realize that none of this is liable to change an opinion of anyone that feels that my writing is unbalanced regarding Quinn, but I truly do try to explore situations with them in ways that I think are true to their characters and derived from the traits they were given in canon combined with the ‘growth’ I believe they’ve had through the progression of the overall story. And I understand that my interpretation of the characters may not match up to what someone else believes it should be, but it’s my interpretation, and I’m going to keep writing them the way I believe they’d act. 

[imagineproduce101]

Im Youngmin Mafia AU

you were a kindergarten teacher at the elementary school in your town

you truly loved your job, having the ability to get students involved in school and their education

as the new school year started, you made sure to get to know each of the students and their families well

there was one student in particular, im youngjae, who you were concerned about

on the first day of school, he’d been dropped off by someone-- they’d left so quickly you didn’t get the chance to talk to them-- and he’d been whisked away at the end of the day

you’ve started noticing that youngjae has issues of some sort with home life

you do an activity with the kids about what they want to be when you grow up and he draws a GUN

and you’re like no sweetie guns are bad let’s draw a firefighter

“but daddy has a gun?”

and you’re like ummmmmmmm

so of course, when you meet im youngmin, youngjae’s father, for the parent-teacher conferences, you’re intrigued

he’s extremely charming, and you find yourself blushing at his small compliments, doing your best to get the conversation back to youngjae’s progression in learning the number line

then finally, as the end of the parent-teacher conference draws to an end, you take out the drawing of the gun, showing it to him

“this is what youngjae said he wanted to be when he grew up,” you said quietly, watching an array of emotions flit across his face

“ah,” youngmin nodded, pulling the paper towards him and tracing the crayon lines carefully

you watched as he shifted in his seat uncomfortably, his dress shirt shifting slightly

you caught sight of a tattoo on his chest-- 101-- and you sucked in a breath, understanding

while the man in front of you was obviously involved in shady business, he looked so upset about the whole thing, and you felt bad 

pulling the paper away, you smiled at youngmin

“mr. im, i just wanted to let you know about that,” you said cheerfully, “i’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. youngjae is an absolute sweetheart to have in the classroom. he’s very helpful to his peers, and does his best to understand and keep working on the tasks he’s given.”

“please, call me youngmin,” youngmin insisted, shaking your hand as he headed out

his hand was warm, and you felt like you’d been shocked

one day, you noticed that youngjae hadn’t been picked up after school, so you brought him back to your classroom

he sat there, playing with the small boardgames and puzzles that you had as you worked on your report cards, checking to make sure he was okay  every so often

the hours passed, and soon, it was past dinner

he was clearly hungry, so you dug out some goldfish and let him have that

“don’t tell dad, alright?” you winked at him, and youngjae giggled, nodding as he shoved a goldfish into his mouth (this is a terrible teacher btw)

you were worried that youngmin wasn’t showing up, but youngjae said he hadn’t said anything about him picking youngjae up late

you looked through the emergency contact cards you had, figuring that you would just call him and see what was up

on the other side of town, youngmin was tied up to a chair, glaring up at choi seungcheol of svt, blood pouring out of his mouth and ribs hurting like hell

“i’m not telling you where we hid the ammo,” he growled, looking up at seungcheol defiantly

“oh youngmin, sooner or later, you’ll have to tell us,” seungcheol smiled, holding up a hammer, “after all, you only have so many bones in your body.”

suddenly, a phone started ringing

another one of the svt members yanked the phone from youngmin’s pocket, showing the screen to seungcheol, who nodded

“answer it.”

“hello, mr. im? ah, i mean, youngmin?”

youngmin visibly tensed in the chair, eyes widening for a brief second. a huge grin spread across seungcheol’s face

“i was just calling to remind you that youngjae is still waiting for you here at the elementary school.”

“daddy, i wanna go home!” youngjae’s high-pitched voice echoed through the room

“youngmin?”

seungcheol ended the call, smiling down at youngjae, “i guess we won’t get to all your bones today.”

“leave them the hell alone,” youngmin shouted after seungcheol as he left the room, motioning for the others to untie youngmin

back at the school, you frowned down at the phone in your hand

“did daddy say anything?” youngjae asked, tugging on your sleeve, “is he on his way?”

“daddy’s just running late,” you replied, worried. he had responded-- why hadn’t he said anything?

suddenly, your mind flashed back to the tattoo you’d seen on his chest

while youngmin was strange, he never picked youngjae up late-- ever

he clearly cherished his son, and you couldn’t see his work, however illegal it was, getting in the way of his son’s well being

frowning, you dialed someone else, heart beating in your chest

one of your friends claimed to that one of her friends was a fairly high-up member of 101, and something about this whole situation seemed fishy

after getting the guy’s number from her, you quickly called him

“lee euiwoong, who am I speaking to?”

you quickly explained the situation, telling him that you were youngjae’s teacher and that you’d called youngmin and hadn’t gotten a response even though you picked up

euiwoong cursed, running a hand through his hair

he told you not to move from the school, that something might be going on

right after he told you that, you heard a loud series of bangs, presumably guns

shaking, you hung up, picking up youngjae and running to a small supply closet, hiding in there

“youngjae, we’re going to play a game, okay?” you said quietly, holding him close

youngjae was clearly scared, shaking as well

“we’re hiding, and we have to be as quiet as possible.”

youngjae nodded, and you put your arms around him, doing your best to comfort the five- year old

you heard loud shouting, the occasional crash, and youngjae whimpered, holding you tighter

suddenly, there was another series of bangs, and the sounds of fighting ensued

“get the classroom,” you heard someone growl

your heartbeat picked up, clutching youngjae tightly

you heard someone walk around the supply closet, and you felt hot tears running down your cheeks, thinking over and over that today was the day you were going to die

footsteps stopped in front of the supply closet, and you felt like the sound of your heartbeat was going to give you away

youngjae sniffled a tiny bit and your heart dropped as the door was wrenched open, revealing an incredibly buff guy with a disgusting grin

“you can’t escape n--”

he was cut off by the pop of a gunshot, slumping to the side in an instant

youngmin rushed over to the two of you, trying to lift youngjae up, but the small boy wouldn’t let go of you

youngmin carefully helped you up, walking you over to a chair and helping you sit down

“are you okay?” he asked, checking both you and youngjae for injuries

“we’re fine,” you assured him, “just a bit shaken up is all. you arrived just in time-- thank you.”

youngmin stared at you, obviously pained, “i should be apologizing, i’m the one who got you into all of this.”

you shook your head, gently rocking youngjae back and forth, “it was those lunatics that got me into this, not you. euiwoong told me about svt.”

“you know about svt?” youngmin looked startled, “you know about 101?”

you laughed at that, “i saw your tattoo the first time we met.”

“and you weren’t terrified of me?” youngmin asked incredulously, “i shoot guys for a living.”

“youngmin, anyone who clearly has so much love for their son isn’t a bad person,” you said quietly, watching as youngjae’s eyelids fluttered shut

youngmin stared at you quietly, eyes looking down at youngjae before back at you

“(y/n),” he said softly, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “thank you, for all you’ve done for my family.”

youngmin chill with the cheese a bit pls

you end up staying the night at his house because youngjae really won’t let go of you

he insists that you take the bed and he can sleep on the couch, and you feel bad but he really won’t have it any other way

it’s a friday night, so you’re able to stay over

youngjae looks so small and fragile, you feel bad that he had to experience such an intense night

he falls asleep and eventually lets go of you, but you can’t seem to fall asleep after such a chaotic night

you get up to grab a glass of water, hoping that youngmin won’t mind

for some reason, the glasses are on a super high shelf that you can’t reach, even on your tiptoes

“need some help?” youngmin apparently was having a hard time sleeping as well

instead of water, he made the two of you tea, and you sat at his small dinner table

“you know, to be honest, there’s a reason why svt targeted you specifically,” youngmin said quietly, rubbing the back of his head

“i thought it was because of youngjae?” you asked in confusion

“partially, yes,” youngmin nodded, “and maybe this isn’t the right timing to tell you this, but i like you, (y/n),” he confessed, looking over at you over his cup of tea

“you like me?” you frowned, “how? why?”

youngmin chuckled, “you’re... you’re you,” he shrugged, “and i like that.”

“does that mean (y/n) will be my mommy now?”

youngmin turned bright red lmao

aPPARENTLY youngjae had woken up and gone out to the kitchen to see what the fuss was about

“maybe not mommy,” you replied, ruffling youngjae’s messy hair, “daddy’s girlfriend, though, maybe we have a deal.”

youngjae nodded happily, giving you a thumbs up

“wait, really?” youngmin looked at you hopefully, “you’ll date me?”

“yes, really,” you laughed at his disbelief, “but if i get kidnapped on the first date, I’ll have to reconsider.”

thank you so so much to the anon who left this super detailed possible plot that, upon reading it again, i’m realizing was meant for jonghyun, jung jung or eunki, so for theirs i will DEF try to incorporate something similar w/kids, but thank you again!