#// <- dirk and hes actually teaching a furry class

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JASPROSE: My anthro professor has three forbidden words for essays: "problematic", "interesting", and "large". Point being, they’re all filler words. He wants you to just skip straight to why it’s interesting or why it’s problematic. But anyway, any time I disagree with him in class, I say to him: “Mm, interesting, but largely problematic!!"

DAVEPETA: B33 < why is it important to this story that your purrfessor is a furry?

[temporaklepticgalanty]

Kids Species Swap

I decided to take another look at the extended zodiac and pick out what it would indicate about Homestucks’ canonical cast of lost human children. Most people go off their text colors and call it a day; and while clown makeup Rose Lalonde is a good laugh and an interesting design challenge, I’m not so easily satisfied.

June Egbert is adventurous and impulsive as a rule. There’s a reason flighty is the key adjective for this broad, and it’s not just because of the breeze. If it doesn’t keep going at a good clip, June considers it boooooriiiing and gets too far into her own head to pay any more attention to the doldrums around her. All of this clearly aligns with the Rust class, making her an Arus. Her blunt, tall horns go straight up from the sides of her head, looking like lagomorphic ears. Her lusus is the swift yet tasty Ziphare, whose long limbs let it sprint and leap with the greatest of ease and the fastest of speed. It’s an attentive guardian, often leaving gifts and treats everywhere for June as it zooms around in fear of predators, and to serve as a good example: teach its charge how to really run.

Rose Lalonde is, if nothing else, a genius. A multifacted prodigy, an intellectual force, with prose as collegiate and purple as her chat text. And she likes to show it off. She likes to use it as a big, terrible lance of eldritch force, especially if it throws off her brother from his game or seduces dangerous girls into her quadrants. You might not like it, but that makes her decisively Gold, that is, a Gempia. She’s got horns exactly the way Kanaya imagined them. Her lusus is the Bearded Primkey, a lanky pseudoprimate that descends into wailing, seizing, and hystrionic sobbing as it grows hungrier and less sleepy. When it’s full and drowsy, it’s a slow-paced but clingingly affectionate guardian.

Jade Harley is, if you would have to put a word to it, agreeable. She cares a great deal about connecting to people, even if she isn’t quite sure how. She is anxious in the unfamiliar, and although she never loses her nerve, she often loses her cool. Plus she’s a furry. Olive it is, then, as a (lmao) Lego. Naturally, her Olive theme is dogs. Her horns look much like June’s, except shorter, wider, and sharper. Even though they are clearly very different castes, people joke that they must have the same ancestor. They like to think so, too, unjokingly. Her lusus is the mysterious Blipdog, which can teleport and see without eyes. Most people treat it as a myth, and even Jade has never heard of another one.

Jane Crocker is particular, matronly, and sometimes corrosively toxic. She likes when everything is perfect, even when that’s an impossible expectation. She is supportive and handy, but she explodes after her breaking point, and all of her nurturing habits are swept aside by a bit of the ol’ ultraviolence. All of that spells Jade, specifically, a Virsci, which sounds like a for-profit tech school. One of her horns ends in a blunted bulb shape, and the other, split. She doesn’t have a lusus, but she does have obligations in the caverns. Obligations that she’s growing more and more afraid of being trapped by, and that she’s more and more eager to find any excuse to shirk. Watch out, Janey!

Dave Strider is an artistic lad of a hundred interests and a dozen talents. Last week he was into collecting body parts in jars. Before that, it was guerilla photography, and before that it was silent parkour. He’s got a self-destructive stubborn streak and a bad habit of hiding masks behind masks, but he’s also friendly and can be surprisingly philosophical and is fiercely intelligent. This is exactly how Indigos are described, making him a Sagiries. His horns look like bulges. It’s not his fault. He was born this way. His lusus is the Satyr, a capricious guardian more prone to ambushes and pranks than raising a kid.

Dirk Strider is a Purple. Just read the damn thing, it describes him better than it does any of the canon clowns we’ve met. (His face paint looks like Billy the Puppet and Lil Cal of course, but that also makes him look like Caliborn. Poor guy.) He’s a Caprio, which, if you ask me, is pretty fitting. He’s got horns like katana tips, including the flat blade, that point tilted forward from his forehead like an oni. And still those stupid, stupid yet iconic glasses. It’s called fashion. His lusus is the Wavegull, an amphibious bird and demands frequent food.

Jake English is a real weird dude. Everything he does is rather eccentric. He’s loyal, game for much, and if we’re being totally fair, both unfairly exploited and kind of a desperate dweeb. All of this indicates a Violet sign, his particular one being Aquanius, sort of a lunar inversion of a certain Violet we’re more used to. His flattened horns curve closely over his scalp, sending his hair everywhere, but otherwise being usefully protective and a bit fetching. His lusus is the Skultopus, an eight tentacled mollusk whose shell protects everything but the limbs and the sunken, staring eyes. Distant dad, but a caring one.

Roxy Lalonde is a bit too in her fantasies and anxieties. Extremely important, but often overlooked, you might be thinking Indigo. But she’s alluring and accomplished, talented and daring, hard to know and hard to defeat. She’s a princess lost in time and space, a true Fuschia, baby. She clocks in as a Pittarius, and might just hack it as an eternally unconsumed heir. Her horns look something like upside down fluted champagne glasses, which also gives her a kooky space alien bulbed antenna vibe too. It’s pretty cute, actually! And this means you know exactly what her lusus is and what their relationship is.

[voidhacks]

Mall Au Ideas!

This takes place in a mall in modern times and they are all humans living normal lives sburb never happened and I did this late at night and I may write a fic about it soon.

Roxy works at a hair and nail salon and knows all the gossip and always looks so nice and everyone who goes there asks for her. She gets along well with Jade and Nepeta and has a million cats. Dirk is a martial arts instructor, but he is super awkward around students his age and parents of little kids, but he’s ok with the young kids and is very talented. He has trophies for the tournaments he has won and the kids always ask about them and he is happy to tell them the stories again and again. Lil Hal is his younger brother who is taking his classes. Jake works at blockbuster and always hosts movie night. He also gets almost fired for keeping Avatar after promising he would only borrow it for “a bit” Jane works at a small bakery and bakes scones and cupcakes with her Dad and she is always super happy and she is the best baker ever and she always brings her cupcakes to parties, but they disappear almost instantly. Rose works at a hot topic and Kanaya is her best customer, coming in every day for reasons that get less and less believable until she admits that she just wants to see her. Kanaya eventually gets hired. Rose is also Dave’s sister and they always tease each other and have a great relationship. Dave works at a store selling various instruments and also has private lessons. He constantly tries to sell his mixtape. Karkat is being given lessons by Dave there. Jade works at a pet store and she rescues abused and abandoned animals so she has tons of animal in her apartment. She takes care of all the animals and they all love her and she is just the best ever. She has a white husky named bec and he has been around all of her life. John works at a magic store that also sells stuff for jokes and pranks. He’s really good at all the card tricks and a masterful practical joker. Jade is his sister and she gave him a rabbit which he named Liv Tyler and he does all the tricks with her. He also watches tons of movies with Jake in his free time because they both love movies. All these stores are in a circle around a fountain and there is also a Starbucks where everyone meets up during breaks and Calliope and her asshole brother Caliborn work there as baristas.

Karkat takes lessons at Dave’s shop and regularly hangs out at the mall but really doesn’t have much to do so he usually hangs around the shop until Dave’s break and then follows him. Aradia works at blockbuster as well and loves movies with adventure like Indiana Jones as well as other movies that involve death. Tavros works at a store that sells board games and is happy to teach customers how to play games. Vriska always comes in to laugh at him but also sometimes sits down and plays a friendly game of fieudspawn with him. Sollux used to work at a GameStop but when a Mom came in and called Star Wars “Star Trek” he lost his shit and went on a huge rant that got him fired. He now works at a Genius Bar at the Apple Store and hates everything. Nepeta works at an anime store with huge plushies, tons of snacks, toys, and all the episodes sailor moon playing on loop on a big tv on the wall. She also loves cats very much and goes to Jade’s pet store every day to see cats! She works with Equius whom she dragged into this job and he does it because he is friends with Nepeta and is secretly a weeb. Kanaya is a regular at hot topic but she goes mostly to see Rose and eventually gets hired at hot topic and hangs out with Rose and the others a lot Terezi works with Vriska at a costume shop where they sell props, cosplay, and they make custom props and outfits and it’s really cool. They are serious nerds and they are also dating and they Flarp all the time with Tavros and also Aradia and they also play D&D with Tavros, Aradia, Sollux, and Eridan. Terezi is the dungeon master and always makes fun situations and adventures and Vriska is always the creative one finding loopholes and getting tons of lucky rolls. Vriska works with Terezi, but Terezi profile also kind of told us about Vriska. Equius works at the anime store with Nepeta and is secretly a total weeb. He is Nepeta’s best friend forever and loves horses. He is a total secret Brony along with Dirk and they watch MLP at Dirk’s house all the time. He’s also a furry and so are Jade, Roxy, Dirk, Vriska, Terezi, Nepeta, and Dave (ironically of course). Gamzee works in the kids area and does really good face painting and he is really nice to kids but the adults find him kind of unsettling. When he isn’t working he wanders around and the only place he really isn’t welcome is the Hot Topic because of Kanaya and the Cosplay Shop because Vriska and Terezi hate him. Eridan works at a sushi restaurant and is surprisingly talented at cooking. He plays D&D and flarps like the huge nerd he is and he likes swimming. His father owns this chain of sushi restaurants so Eridan had no choice but to do this job. Feferi works in a clothing store and she is the nicest person ever and will tell you that you look good and is very nice and very good with fashion. She also enjoys sushi and is usually nice to Eridan and gets along swimmingly with everyone else. Her mother is the boss of this whole mall and everyone except Feferi is scared of her. Lord English is the owner of all of the malls in the English Emporium chain. Doc Scratch is his assistant that he sends out to inspect malls and deliver messages. The Midnight Crew are known criminals who rob these malls but are still at large. The Felt are mall cops and despite looking scary and big and actually nice to everyone.

If u have anything that u think should be different or anything to add just reblog and add it!