#/ so i've had this in my mind and might take another thirty two years to continue it
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the adventurer they wanted -> the adventurer they got
my rook being older shaped the entire way i took the game, this wasn't some young hot-headed hero thinking they could fix it all, this was a man who had the weight of a life in front of him and expected a blaze of glory from day 1. a man who's been raising his niece for the last eight years on his own and if the choice is do a suicide mission and she gets a chance to live a full life, or do nothing and you yourself might get to live a little while longer - of course he said yes to varric instantly.
and now I die. As easy to accept as breathing. a man who has lost his best friend/brother-in-law and sister both - years apart but both griefs changing who he is and how he feels about his own weary mortality, a man who realized that his on again off again relationship ongoing twenty years was toxic for him, a man who it took the death of his father to feel safe enough to accept his own identity. a silly little selfish bastard of a treasure hunter to a time worn and exhausted man, still cocky, devastatingly full of dad jokes, but a man more patient and kinder than he was at thirty. A man with so little left to lose he will put his very life on the line, take hits he shouldn't, take risks that aren't in his favor to make sure the one shining light he had left - his niece - survives. And despite his instant commitment to whatever it takes he grows to love his team, his friends, this found family. He offers them shoulders to cry on, and bad jokes to lighten the mood, and reassuring nods, because they are kids, they shouldn't be here dealing with this, and Bishop is willing to be the parental figure they all need. The rock of kindness and understanding they all deserve. He has lived his life and is willing to risk his so they can live theirs. Multiple shining lights. A blaze of people and things worth living for. He sees the love in his niece's eyes when she looks at the crow (prince of crows for fucks sake, she's dreamt of this fairytale since she was little/she will always know protection/she will always know devotion. She is safe, lifes goal, its safe to go, to be at peace) - and now I die. But...
And Emmrich. Oh Emmrich. The snag that he wasn't anticipating. and now I die. But with him I don't want to. and now I die. But with him I want another chance at life. "Bishop, please. I've told so few people!-" the heartbreak. The absolute desolation in Bishop's heart and mind. Ahh... too good to be true, of course. Back to course. Back to sacrificing. Until, it doesn't. It isn't. Lilac and White (decidedly not a color) there goes our - son ; a family he lost. Family he always wanted to have. A family he deserves. Who? Both, truly foolish, selfishly, at the end of it all a return to form, a selfish fool with a smart mouth. Two men; afraid to live/afraid to die - but they do it for each other, they vow it to each other. i will live/die as long as its by your side. And A family to love and live for. A family to blissfully die for. Plans, a foreign word. Bishop has never had plans, from day one he was told what to do, forced into pathways of fate. Now he gets to plan, his plan, their plan, kill gods, then on to the real plans.
not the adventurer they wanted, but the adventurer they got. the perfect man for the job.
#bishop laidir the man that you are#datv#drage#veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#rook laidir#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#long post#i have so many feelings about bishop please excuse the mess#dog with a bone#emmrook#arlo writes
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I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE THOSE ANNOYING ASS PARENTS (SPECIFICALLY CHRISTIAN ONES, no offense to y'all, just learn TO FUCKING MIND UR BUSINESS AND USE COMMON SENSE) SAYING AND YAPPING ABOUT "erm guys, you uhm, shouldn't take ur kids to watch inside out 2 🤓👆" LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP KAREN AND LISTEN TO MY DAMN REASONS NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT
Reason number one- you're five year olds aren't the targated demographic for this movie
Yes come at me all you fucking want but this isn't like the first movie where it's much more innocent and doesn't handle heavy topics like having an anxiety attack and puberty, I'm sorry Karen but you're two six year old kids won't be needing to learn about what puberty is, TRUST ME THAT IS GOING TO SAVED FOR ANOTHER TIME, and it was obvious this movie is targated for teens, especially the ones born in 2010 cause like half of y'all (including me) are 12/13 years old already, and just because it's a Pixar film doesn't mean it can't be mature it was definitely not targated for people under puberty
Reason number two- take a fucking hint and stop being homophobic
Personally me, RILEY X VAL IS A HILL I AM WILLING TO DIE ON, I WILL DEFEND THAT SHIP LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, but from a more...different view...just because two girls are interacting and holding hands DOES NOT FUCKING MEAN THEY'RE DATING TAKE A FUCKING HINT YOU TRUMP SUPPORTER, sure Riley x val may not be canon due to obvious homophobic people complaining, and a kinda underrated one where people think the age gap is too big given that Riley is a freshman but I think Val might be a sophomore? Not sure it's never like mentioned but calling val a super senior is fucking weeeird bro, and also Disney is a SHIT at writing gay couples and probably would stereotype them is more to add of how bad it'll make them look
Number three- surprisingly there's racism???
Not really a big one but I've heard some people complaining about Val's hockey team, saying it's "too diverse"...BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN " TOO DIVERSE " YOU WANT EVERYONE TO BE AS WHITE AS RILEY??? not much to speak on here but it truly is infuriating
Number four- Riley's belief system makes her a bad person??
Another small one but still very annoying people complaining that Riley's not a good person and has a bad belief system but even though she considers herself a good person but makes mistakes it doesn't matter because God isn't in it and that alone apparently makes her a bad person...SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M ALL FOR RESPECTING RELIGIONS BUT THE PEOPLE I HATE MOST ON EARTH ARE FUCKING CHRISTIANS LIKE TAKE A FUCKING HINT WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR??? SHIT WENT OUT THE WINDOW SINCE ADAM AND EVE SINNED
And number five- peoples ever decreasing media literacy
Every since the movie came out people have been complaining over Anxiety and saying she's "the villain"...im going to take your hand while I'm saying this...DO Y'ALL NOT KNOW WHAT FUCKING ANXIETY IS SHE LITERALLY EXPLAINS IT HER FUCKING SELF WHEN SHE'S FIRST INTRODUCED YOU DUMB BITCHES, " B-But she made Riley have a panic attack🥺🥺 " first of all It's an ANXIETY ATTACK second, people were saying "w-why was anxiety making Riley over think and worry so much? 🥺🥺" TAKE A LONG WILD GUESS IT'S IN HER FUCKING NAME, I'm convinced people who went to watch it, saw thirty minutes of it then left cause they didn't even know what anxiety is and what it causes, half of the people watching don't understand anxiety's motives CAUSE Y'ALL HAVE NEVER HAD ANXIETY, coming from someone who has anxiety and social anxiety I get where she's coming from (and maybe secretly rooting for her at the end, like fr let her cook) and y'all wouldn't have acted like this in the first movie cause everyone HAS experienced sadness, everyone HAS HAD sad moments so it's no difference with anxiety, except this time only a certain amount of people will get it
Also am I the only but I fucking HATED Riley's friends like they were SO GODDAMN ANNOYING 💀💀
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Tattoos
Fishing for treasure submission
OC edition.
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel
~~
Michelle chewed her gum and desperately wished it were a cigarette, but she'd quit three years earlier. Sighing as she eyed the clock, she figured she might actually kill someone for another cup of coffee, but she knew from decades of experience that any more before she ate would give her shaky hands. Not a good look on a tattoo artist. She coughed lightly into her sleeve, careful not to fight the pain or the catch in her chest. It only made it worse when she did.
The door chimed and she glanced up, watching two tall, really good looking guys walk in. They were both in jeans and t-shirts, and if she had any appreciation for the male form other than aesthetics, she might have been drooling at the very nice physiques on display. At a guess, they both looked like they were about her own age, and were around six feet each. The first had sandy brown hair and an easy smile, and sauntered over to look at the flash display with an endearing bowlegged walk.
The other man, who'd followed through the door with his hand intimately on the first man's lower back, walked to the counter, eyeing the jewellery curiously. He met her eyes with a more reserved smile than the first guy, but there were little lines around his bright blue eyes, and she got the feeling they'd crinkle up when he grinned or laughed.
Glancing between them, she noticed both men were going just a little grey, dusting at their temples and in the shadow of their neatly trimmed facial hair. Her fingers itched for her pens, because their profiles were incredible, and she wanted to capture them on paper.
"Hey," she greeted the dark-haired man. "You thinking about a piercing?"
He glanced at her, then back down at the case, his head cocked curiously to one side.
"Maybe," he answered, and holy shit! That was a deep voice. It rumbled out of the man's chest, like velvety gravel.
"Not what we're here for, Angel-face," the second man said, approaching with that swagger and slipping an arm around the other's waist.
"Tattoos?" she confirmed, and sighed internally when they nodded. "Sorry, we're by appointment only this morning, and I've got a couple coming in any minute."
The blue-eyed man squinted at her a little, but the other guy just grinned, and it was damn unfair that his smile could be that sexy and still so boyish. His green eyes twinkled, and she noticed the freckles dotted across the bridge of his nose.
"Dean and Castiel Winchester, ten-thirty, right?" he said with a teasing grin, pointing at himself then his partner, and she blinked. Checking the appointment on her iPad, she laughed softly.
"Says Cass here, sorry. I shouldn't have assumed it meant Cassandra or something. Dumb move on my part. Alright! I'm Michelle, I'll be taking care of you today. Says you're looking for script, no embellishments?"
"You got it," Dean replied, and she nodded.
"First of all, health waivers. Fill 'em out, sign, don't steal the pens!" she ordered with a wink, and Dean laughed, a loud, boisterous laugh that made the other man smile wide.
She'd been right about the eye crinkles, and his nose even scrunched up. Adorable.
~~
Read the rest on AO3 here.
Heads up, the work was originally posted as an entry for Suptober 2022, so it's a single chapter in a mess of other one shot stories. Lots of craziness, so mind the author's notes if you decide to explore!
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So I’m 27 next month and I don’t know what to do. I had been studying at college/university in 2019 but dropped out due to my health, tried to get a job but failed, and then a family member died and the pandemic hit all in 2020, and then obviously there was all the lockdowns and I was forced into signing up for benefits here in the UK and it’s 2024, and I’m still unable to get back into work and I’m still seeing a psychologist and I just don’t know what to do anymore as I feel like my life is slipping past me and I’m not able to do anything about it, I know I’m not stupid and I know I’m capable and have career aspirations but also family aspirations. I’ve never had a boyfriend and while I want to have a good career I also want to get married and have children more so, I love kids and I feel like I’m never going to get either. I mean it’s three years until I’m thirty years old, and if I sign up to go back to university then it’s three or four years before I graduate and then years trying to build a career for myself.
Oh anon, I feel for you. I really do. I've several relatives who are (and were) similarly stuck - some of them were impacted by the pandemic years, and others were impacted by the 2008 global meltdown - so I know how hard you're feeling everything.
A few things to keep in mind first:
Everyone does life at their own pace. You are exactly where you're supposed to be because that's exactly where you're meant to be. You are doing just fine being right where you are. As long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you'll get to wherever you want to go, even if you take a few detours along the way.
When we judge ourselves by other people, we have a tendencey to compare our worst days to other people's best days because we're our own worst critic. (I blame social media for that - people only share the best things on social media which makes it look like everyone is happy little clams living picture-perfect lives while you're stuck down here in the muck trying to shovel out from two years' of rain.)
I think you'll find that there are more people who feel like you than people who'll say they're living their best life and they wouldn't change a thing.
27 is pretty young, and so is 30 for that matter. If you look at the whole scope of life, what is 'another 3 years' but a drop in the bucket, especially if it will make you happy? You may not have anything to lose if you go back to school now, if that's really what you want to do. But if your heart isn't it, or you'd be doing it because it's what you think you should do, then that may not be the right thing for you. And that's okay!
I don't know a whole lot about the UK in terms of career choices, higher education,a nd job opportunities so I don't know how practical or realistic some of my advice could be. But here goes.
Does it have to be a professional/academic program? Maybe there are trade schools or vocational programs you can look into instead. I think the UK might call it Further Education colleges? (We call it community college here in the US.)
And if you love children, what's stopping you from working with them now? You could become a nursery assistant or a midwife, a nanny or an au pair. You could volunteer with an organization that focuses on children or youth services, or maybe work for one as a receptionist?
One of the things I've learned from my cousins' experiences pulling out of the economic collapse or COVID-stasis is that sometimes the unconventional path is better, luckier, and more successful. So don't think you have to go for a professional degree. There are other options out there. They may be harder to find, but they're there.
I know you can do it, anon. You're already brilliant enough to ask for help, and trust me - that takes a ton of gut.
If anyone has any advice or wants to support our Hopeful Anon, please share in the comments or send in your suggestions! I will use the anon advice tag.
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Eat
"You don't cook."
It's all Sebastian can think to say, all Sebastian can think at all. His mind is a blur these days - nightmares, and the new meds, maybe? He can't remember when it started to feel like that, it's far from an all time low still, so he'll take it.
There's a heavy looking stewpot on the kitchen table, Styx had to move a couple (a dozen) empty coffee mugs to put it here, and he started cleaning another pot, taking a pack of uncooked rice out of his pocket like it's something absolutely normal to carry.
"Nah, I don't like to cook, not the same."
It's maybe one of the first things Sebastian had learnt about Styx. Mysterious, foul-mouthed Styx. A stray black cat that miraculously let him into its life.
"Then why are you cooking?"
"Well that's what best friends are for, right? Suffering mild inconveniences to make sure the other doesn't fucking die?"
Sebastian attempts a laugh, but it doesn't seem to be what Styx is going for. He rinses the pot, fills it with water, turns the hob on. He doesn't add salt. Sebastian always boils saltwater. Well, except for coffee. Which reminds him- "Bastian, how long have I know you?"
"Five years." He picks his current mug up from the ground, waltzes around Styx to refill it with coffee, put it in the microwave. He watches the mug rotating, sickly porcelain under the yellow light. He doesn't remember what he was doing before Styx came in. It's nearing eight in the morning, maybe he was off to bed.
"And do you know how old I am?"
"No. What, have you finally decided to tell me?"
"Dream on. But I've been around for decades before you were born, and chances are, I'm gonna be around for decades after you're gone. You're gonna die on me, mate."
Strange thought. Strange idea, to say it out loud. Sebastian knows Styx is old - too old. Like a vampire or something. He opens the microwave before it beeps, blows on the coffee to assess the temperature. Just a little more. Thirty seconds.
"And I made peace with that. Mostly. When you stormed into my life like the petulant nuisance you are I thought 'Oh, shit, I'm gonna follow this idiot till the day he dies'," seventeen seconds, "and so I know, I always knew. But I'm not gonna let you wilt away like a houseplant."
Five seconds, Sebastian takes the mug out. Blows on it. Just right. "I don't know what you mean."
"You're melting."
Again, a strange choice of words. Styx chooses strange words all the time. Again, Sebastian is tired. Sitting on his bed might be his best choice. He crashes there. "When was the last time you ate a full meal?"
"I dunno. Yesterday? Dinner?"
Instant noodles. It's a meal. It's literally a meal. It's not that long ago, and he had snacks, too. Lots of snacks. Too many? He didn't count. There were moments he had to eat something, and he did. Surely that is enough.
"You can't do this shit to me, Bastian. D' you know what it feels like, to be skinny?"
Of course he knows. His noodle arms are here for that. For all the time Sebastian has known him, Styx has never been particularly thin. His thighs are full, his arms, soft, his stomach round. He puts the stewpot on the second hob, curry, maybe. "I don't-"
"I've fucken been there, kay? And right now you don't see it, but I see it."
The water boils, and Styx pours the rice in it, before joining his best friend on the bed. Dirty laundry by his pillow. The duvet is out of the sheets. It's a bit of a mess, but Styx's place is messier, and Sebastian lights a cigarette. Misplaced satisfaction, like his ribs when he scratches his back. He remembers he was real skinny once, too, he remembers he liked how small his boobs got when he ate just a little, just a little less - now his chest is flat, it is not an issue. The ribs, still. A drop of left-over euphoria.
Styx opens his mouth wide, and Sebastian wonders if he got a new piercing for his tongue, but he points at two teeth. "Those are fake. The real ones died in my mouth because I was too fucked in the head to eat properly." He should have lowered the heat on the rice - and salt, he didn't put salt in. Sebastian doesn't get up to correct it. He looks at Styx's teeth.
"Being underweight hurts. You get used to it. Get used to being cold, all, the, bloody, time, you bruise more easily. Everything bruises. Sitting on the floor for too long. Leaning on the fucking wall. And you don't really notice, because it's normal now."
There are red and purple bruises all over Sebastian's knees. He didn't do anything too extreme. He bruises easily. Always has. Probably. He pulls the duvet towards him, covering his legs.
"Wounds take longer to heal, too. And you get sick. And you get used to it, too, I got used to my throat being sore like I got used to my knees aching after walking a fucking mile, and it took a decade to get my head out of this crap. You're smart, Bastian, like me. Don't think you're too smart to fall for this shit."
He is, still. He eats enough. He toes the line. He's not underweight - or barely. He is, just barely. He did the math. He can still work. His body is okay enough.
"Because that's not how it works. It's worse when you're smart, cause your mind is so goddamn good at tricking you, at arguing against the people telling you you're not okay, telling you you can toe the line between a disordered eating and an eating disorder just for science, as an experiment - but you're just getting worse."
Sebastian thinks it's maybe the longest he's ever heard Styx talk at once.
"Fucking around and finding out with your health is bullshit. I should be dead, Fen." It's been years since Styx called him that. He can't imagine a world where Styx is dead. No, no. "This is an experiment, but you're the subject, and the rot in your brain tries to convince you you're the scientist."
The smoke on Sebastian's tongue brings nausea. He doesn't like the feeling - scrutiny. Helplessness.
"Not eating is not gaining control. I promise. I swear to Christ."
It rings like a doom bell. It echoes in the empty pit of Sebastian's stomach, where guilt lives, allowing no roommate.
"Shit."
"Yeah. It's shit. I took some books, so I can stay a few days. But I'm not leaving until you eat."
Black eyes. Wet and shiny. Sebastian isn't hungry - and he knows Styx has a point. He knows there is a rot in his brain, that lies. It speaks with his voice, when it promises he'll eat later. It likes his bones bare. It recoils at the thought of getting better. Fatter. Happier. It recoils beneath Styx's eyes.
"Okay."
#sebastian fen#ed mention#cw eating problems#styx night shift#eoin macnamara#night shift#night shift podcast#nsp#watch how hard i can project my issues on my new blorbos#but yeah i don't have a scale but i think i've been losing weight /again/#and it sucks and a friend called me out#and i had a real dinner tonight#remembering the part of me that likes the bones is NOT the part of me that wants to be happy#i want my body to be comfortable again
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Linda leaned forward, her eyes never leaving yours. "I'm prepared to offer you a book deal. A three-book contract, to be precise. The advance is generous, and the royalties - well, let's just say they're enough to make even my father's ghost smile."
Making Harlan's ghost smile? That must be a good deal 😌
"The condition," she explained, her voice taking on a steely edge, "is that you convincingly pose as his sweet-as-a-peach fiancé for two years.”
Oh 😬
Linda leaned back in her chair, taking another sip of whiskey. "It's quite simple, really. You play the role of Ransom's devoted fiancée, help rehabilitate his image, and in return, you get your book deal. Three books, a substantial advance, and the backing of one of the most prestigious publishing houses in the industry.” "But... Ransom... he tried to kill someone. He went to prison. How could I possibly-" "Details," Linda waved her hand dismissively. "The public has a short memory. With the right narrative, we can reshape Ransom's image. A reformed bad boy, humbled by his time in prison, now devoted to his charming fiancée and ready to contribute positively to society. We both know the power of a well-crafted story. People will believe anything."
Pff just some measly details, absolutely o big deal lol
"I understand your hesitation," Linda said, her voice softening slightly. "But consider this: you'd have unprecedented access to our family. Think of the material for your future novels. The inside scoop on one of America's most infamous families. Isn't that what every mystery writer dreams of?" You had to admit, she had a point. The Thrombey-Drysdale saga was the stuff of legend in literary circles. To be on the inside, to see how they really lived and interacted? That alone could draw readers in if they thought there was any chance you’d pull threads and weave it into your future novels.
Ngl that sounds really good, even not being a writer, but with that inspo I would maybe become one 😅
You took a deep breath, your mind reeling from the enormity of what you had just agreed to. Six books. A multi-million dollar deal. And all you had to do was pretend to be engaged to a convicted criminal for two years. It seemed surreal, like something out of one of - well not one of Harlan's novels, but whatever romance author was currently trending.
But I would expect that the chances of Ransom murdering might be slimmer with all the eyes on him and his fiancée 🤔🤷🏻♀️
He was taller than you expected, his presence filling the doorway. His piercing blue eyes scanned you from head to toe, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "So, you're the lucky lady my mother's picked out for me," he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. You bristled at his tone but forced a smile. "And you must be the charming ex-convict I've agreed to shackle myself to," you replied, matching his sarcasm with your own. "Can we consider the awkward introductions done now?"
They have similar humor, a good start
"Nice place," you commented, setting your bags down. "I half expected to see crime scene tape and chalk outlines." Ransom's laugh was sharp and humorless. "Sorry to disappoint. I save all my murdering for the family estate. This is my sanctuary."
This actually cracked me up 😅
“You can relax. I’m not likely to try to murder you - the memory of the inconvenience of being incarcerated will probably last for twenty-four to thirty-six months, putting you in the clear.”
That at least something 🤷🏻♀️😅
"Speaking of, all your stuff was delivered safe and sound, but I took the liberty of having some clothes delivered for you. Can't have my fiancée looking like a struggling writer when we're out in public." You bristled at his comment. "What's wrong with my clothes?" Ransom's eyes raked over you, his gaze lingering a bit too long for comfort. "Let's just say they don't exactly scream 'trophy wife of a reformed bad boy billionaire.'"
I wouldn't say no to a little shopping spree
"It's... stunning," you managed, your voice barely above a whisper. Ransom's expression softened for a moment, a flicker of something - pride? nostalgia? - passing across his face. "It is, isn't it?" he said, his the sarcastic tone momentarily abandoned again. "My great-grandfather proposed with that ring after returning from the war. It's seen its fair share of family drama." "Are you sure about this?" you asked cautiously. "Shouldn't a family heirloom go to someone real?" Ransom's expression hardened slightly.
I loved this moment between them 🥰
Excited to read more of these two 🤗
Between the Lines
Characters/Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x curvy female!Reader Word Count: 4.4k Summary: When presented with a deal you can't resist, you agree to to create an illusion so you can achieve your actual dreams.
Content/Warnings: masturbation, slow burn, forced proximity, fake engagement, annoyed/disgusted to lovers
Notes: This takes place after the events of Knives Out. Yes, all of the movie. No exclusions. Dividers by @vesearartistry and @saradika. My humble offering for week seven of my Countdown to Chris-mas. Thank you @stargazingfangirl18 and @biteofcherry for both indulging some of my plot-talking for this fic!
↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
You sat nervously in the lobby of Blood Like Wine Publishing watching the gears behind the glass display on the elegant clock above the reception desk.
Up until the death of Harlan Thrombey, the publishing house had published his works exclusively with a new murder mystery being produced and translated into dozens of languages each year like clockwork, the gears and cogs a well-tested as the antique clock on display.
With no Harlan, the publishing house had opened to submissions and you and your agent had made it through the initial rounds of querying and contract negotiations.
But now, only a year and a half after the prolific genius’s death and transfer of ownership to his nurse and friend Marta Cabrera, Marta had sold to a new owner - yet to go public in name, and they had asked for a meeting before finalizing the contract.
You tried not to fidget as you gripped the leather armrests of the chair, willing the minutes to pass faster. The lobby was eerily quiet, save for the soft ticking of the clock and the occasional rustle of papers and the soft clacking of the keyboard from the receptionist's desk. The walls were adorned with framed book covers, each one a testament to Harlan Thrombey's literary legacy. You couldn't help but wonder if your own work would ever grace these halls.
As you waited, your mind raced with possibilities. Who was this mysterious new owner? What did they want? Your agent had assured you that this was just a formality, but the knot in your stomach suggested otherwise. You found yourself studying the intricate patterns in the marble floor, tracing the veins of gold and silver that snaked through the stone like the plot twists in one of Thrombey's novels.
Just as the clock struck ten, the elevator dinged, and a tall woman with perfectly coiffed short white hair strode out, her heels clicking authoritatively on the polished marble floor. She paused at the receptionist's desk, speaking in hushed tones before turning her piercing gaze towards you.
"I assume you’re my ten o’clock?" she questioned, her voice sharp and commanding.
You suppressed a gasp and abruptly stood, smoothing your clothes nervously as you approached none other than Linda Drysdale - the legendary daughter of Harlan.
"Yes, that's me.”
She gave you a once-over, then nodded. “Come with me.”
You followed Linda into the elevator, your heart pounding in your chest. The mirrored walls reflected your nervous expression back at you, and you tried to school your features into something more confident. Linda stood beside you, her posture perfect. In contrast to you, she seemed entirely at ease, tapping away at her phone with manicured nails.
When the doors opened, you stepped out into a hallway lined with dark wood paneling and more framed book covers. Linda's office was at the end, a massive space with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a breathtaking view of the city skyline. The room was dominated by an imposing desk made of rich mahogany, its surface neat and organized.
"Please, sit," Linda said, gesturing to one of the leather chairs in front of her desk. As you settled in, she moved to a small bar cart in the corner. "Can I offer you a drink? Perhaps some whiskey? A gin and tonic? Coffee? Tea?"
You shook your head, politely declining. "No, thank you. I'm fine."
Linda shrugged, pouring herself a generous measure of amber liquid into a crystal tumbler. "Suit yourself," she said, returning to her desk and settling into her high-backed leather chair. She took a sip, savoring the whiskey before fixing you with her piercing gaze once more.
"I've read your manuscript," she began, her fingers drumming lightly on the desk's polished surface. "It's intriguing. You have potential, there's no denying that."
Your heart swelled with pride at her words, but you remained silent, sensing there was more to come.
Linda leaned forward, her eyes never leaving yours. "I'm prepared to offer you a book deal. A three-book contract, to be precise. The advance is generous, and the royalties - well, let's just say they're enough to make even my father's ghost smile."
You felt a surge of excitement, but something in Linda's tone made you hesitate. There was a glint in her eye, a slight curl to her lip that suggested there was more to this offer than met the eye.
"However," she continued, swirling the whiskey in her glass, "there is one small condition."
The word hung in the air between you, heavy with implication. You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry. "What kind of condition?" you managed to ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
Linda smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "You see, my father liked to play games. In his will, he left us with one final trick. I don’t know how much of this you heard or followed in the news, but he left us nothing - his cash and assets, our home, and this publishing house all went to Marta Cabrera, his nurse at the time of his death.”
You would have been hard-pressed to have missed the news because it had spilled over into scandal.
“I don’t expect to see the sixty million, and that’s tough, but I can live with that - I’ve made my own fortune, and neither Walt and his family nor my sister-in-law and her daughter need to continue suckling off the teat of dad’s treasury. The house still hurts, but I’ll get it back - I can bide my time. But this? It only took me eighteen months of patience and strategy, working through subsidiaries and intermediaries, to close the deal on getting Blood Like Wine back in the family where it belongs.”
“I will go public with my ownership by the end of the week,” she continued, “but for better and for worse, the acquisition has ended up coinciding with my son’s pending release from prison.”
“Ransom?”
Linda nodded, a flicker of emotion crossing her face before disappearing behind her composed facade. "Yes, Ransom. As you can imagine, his... indiscretions have caused quite a stir in our family and social circles."
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, unsure where this was leading.
"My son made mistakes, grievous ones. But he's served enough time, and now he needs a chance to redeem himself. That's where you come in."
Your brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand, Mrs. Drysdale. What does this have to do with my book deal?"
"The condition," she explained, her voice taking on a steely edge, "is that you convincingly pose as his sweet-as-a-peach fiancé for two years.”
Your mouth fell open in shock. Ransom Drysdale, the man who had attempted to murder Marta Cabrera and frame her for Harlan's death, and she expected you to agree to this? You stared at Linda in disbelief, and the silence stretched between you, broken only by the soft ticking of an antique clock on the bookshelf behind her.
"I... I don't know what to say," you finally managed, voice a little weak in your shock.
Linda leaned back in her chair, taking another sip of whiskey. "It's quite simple, really. You play the role of Ransom's devoted fiancée, help rehabilitate his image, and in return, you get your book deal. Three books, a substantial advance, and the backing of one of the most prestigious publishing houses in the industry.”
"But... Ransom... he tried to kill someone. He went to prison. How could I possibly-"
"Details," Linda waved her hand dismissively. "The public has a short memory. With the right narrative, we can reshape Ransom's image. A reformed bad boy, humbled by his time in prison, now devoted to his charming fiancée and ready to contribute positively to society. We both know the power of a well-crafted story. People will believe anything."
You felt your head spinning. This was so far beyond what you had expected when you'd nervously entered the building this morning. "And what does Ransom think about this plan?" you asked, grasping for any semblance of normalcy in this surreal situation.
Linda's lips curved into a tight smile. "Ransom will do as he's told if he wants to maintain his lifestyle and eventually inherit his share of the family fortune. He knows the stakes."
You sat there, stunned. The offer was tempting - a three-book deal with Blood Like Wine Publishing was beyond your wildest dreams. But to fake an engagement with a convicted criminal? It seemed insane.
"I understand your hesitation," Linda said, her voice softening slightly. "But consider this: you'd have unprecedented access to our family. Think of the material for your future novels. The inside scoop on one of America's most infamous families. Isn't that what every mystery writer dreams of?"
You had to admit, she had a point. The Thrombey-Drysdale saga was the stuff of legend in literary circles. To be on the inside, to see how they really lived and interacted? That alone could draw readers in if they thought there was any chance you’d pull threads and weave it into your future novels.
And besides, this was your dream: a multi-book deal with a prestigious publisher, the chance to see your work in print, and to potentially become not only a published author but one who with Blood Like Wine’s name and marketing department could be a truly successful author. How could you pass it all up?
“What would you say to four books?”
You blinked, taken aback by Linda's sudden offer. "Four books?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.
Linda nodded, a sly smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Four books. And we'll double the advance. Consider it... hazard pay." She chuckled softly at her own joke.
Your breath caught in your throat. Four books? The offer was even more tempting now, dangling before you like a golden carrot. You found yourself leaning in, drawn into Linda's web despite your better judgment.
"I... I don't know," you stammered, your mind racing. "This is all so sudden. What exactly would be expected of me?"
Linda's smile widened, sensing your wavering resolve. "Nothing too taxing, I assure you. Attend some charity galas, be seen at upscale restaurants, perhaps a carefully orchestrated paparazzi shot or two. We'll craft a beautiful love story for the press - how Ransom found redemption through your unwavering support and love."
You nodded slowly, uncertainty swirling more strongly, gut churning because you were actually considering this. You could do public appearances…
“A year and a half,” you countered.
Linda shook her head firmly. “No, I won’t budge on the time commitment. Two years is a bankable amount of time to make sure we turn enough pages to fully close this chapter. But I’ll give you six books.”
Your heart leapt at that, and even though your gut was uneasy, your brain was shouting that this kind of deal was something you could not refuse. “Six books, and the first two released before the engagement period is over.”
“Deal,” Linda agreed.
You took a deep breath, your mind reeling from the enormity of what you had just agreed to. Six books. A multi-million dollar deal. And all you had to do was pretend to be engaged to a convicted criminal for two years. It seemed surreal, like something out of one of - well not one of Harlan's novels, but whatever romance author was currently trending.
"I think I will have that drink now," you said, your voice sounding distant to your own ears.
Linda's smile widened, a predatory gleam in her eyes. "I find a good whiskey helps smooth over even the most unusual of business deals."
You nodded, watching as she selected a crystal decanter filled with amber liquid. The soft clink of glass on glass filled the room as she poured a generous measure into a tumbler. The rich, peaty aroma of the whiskey wafted towards you, promising warmth and liquid courage.
Linda returned, extending the glass to you. Your fingers wrapped around the cool crystal and your eyes met Linda's. There was a moment of silent understanding between you - a recognition of the Faustian bargain you had just crafted and agreed to.
As you raised the glass to your lips, Linda's voice cut through the silence. "One more thing," she said, her tone casual but her gaze intense. "I'll up the advance to five million if you agree to move in with Ransom."
Your GPS led you to the top of a cul-de-sac in the Brown’s Wood neighborhood of Lincoln, Massachusetts. Beautiful trees and a typical New England landscape ushered you up the drive to the midcentury modern home owned by Hugh Ransom Drysdale. It didn’t scream home, but there was no denying it was a stunning feat of architecture - white walls and black roofing framing a structure of mostly floor-to-ceiling windows.
You sat in your car for a moment, gathering your courage. The enormity of what you had agreed to in Linda’s office had been sinking in all week, but this was it. Five million dollars. Six books. And two years of your life pretending to be engaged to - and now living with - a man who had attempted murder.
Maybe approaching all of this as if it was one big plot so of course it had to all work out was a ridiculous coping strategy, but it’s the one you had adopted.
But when the seven-figure advance had appeared in your bank account, giving you more money than you had earned in your entire life, you didn’t have it in you to back out.
If he murdered you, at least you would have paid off your student loans, credit card debts, provided for your parents’ retirement, and put away enough money in a trust for your nephew’s college fund.
The house loomed before you, a monument to wealth and taste that felt utterly alien. With a deep breath, you grabbed your bags from the passenger seat and made your way to the front door.
Before you could even ring the bell, the door swung open, revealing Ransom Drysdale himself.
He was taller than you expected, his presence filling the doorway. His piercing blue eyes scanned you from head to toe, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "So, you're the lucky lady my mother's picked out for me," he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
You bristled at his tone but forced a smile. "And you must be the charming ex-convict I've agreed to shackle myself to," you replied, matching his sarcasm with your own. "Can we consider the awkward introductions done now?"
Ransom's smirk widened into a grin, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Oh, I like you already. Come on in, darling," he said, stepping aside to let you in. "Welcome to Hill House Drysdale. Try not to get too attached - I hear it's only a two-year lease."
You stepped into the house, immediately struck by the minimalist decor and open floor plan. The entire back wall was glass, offering a stunning view of the surrounding woods. It was beautiful, but cold - much like its owner, you mused.
The house was a stark contrast to the warmth of the Thrombey mansion you'd seen in news reports. This place was all clean lines, minimalist furniture, and an abundance of glass and steel.
"Nice place," you commented, setting your bags down. "I half expected to see crime scene tape and chalk outlines."
Ransom's laugh was sharp and humorless. "Sorry to disappoint. I save all my murdering for the family estate. This is my sanctuary."
You couldn't help but chuckle bitterly at his dark humor. At least he wasn't trying to pretend this was anything other than what it was - a business arrangement.
"So, where should I put my things?" you asked, gesturing to your bags. Some of your things had been sent off to a storage unit, but the things a moving consultant had determined would come here with you had been packed up and moved earlier in the day.
"The master suite is upstairs," Ransom said, closing the door behind you. "Stay out unless you’re embarking on a conjugal visit.”
You scoffed. “Charming.”
He winked at you, then began to take you through the house. “Other than that, you’re free to roam the house, and I’ll stay out of your space. Living room here,” he gestured around, then walked to the right, and you followed him into a sleek, modern kitchen. “Two Bosch ovens, a six-burner range, your choice of pretty much any appliance in one of these cupboards.”
“You cook?”
It was his turn to scoff. “God, no.”
He walked you through the length of it, coming out on the other end of the living room, and then walking through a dining room with a long black table and another two walls of floor-to-ceiling windows.
Ransom didn’t strike you as one for entertaining dinner parties, making this more of a feature room than anything else.
At the other end, you came to a new wing of the house.
“This is you,” he said simply. “First door office, second is your bedroom and bathroom.”
You hesitated at the transition point from the dining room to the other side of the house.
“What is it?” Ransom asked, turning and putting his hands on his hips impatiently.
“Linda said a contractor would be brought in to install a door and security system.”
“She said could, and you’ve got locks installed, but I own this house, installing a wall and door here is more invasive than I was willing to agree to, and since she’s a real estate mogul she conceded it would altar the property value.”
“I…”
“You can relax. I’m not likely to try to murder you - the memory of the inconvenience of being incarcerated will probably last for twenty-four to thirty-six months, putting you in the clear.”
You frowned.
“They’re nice rooms, state of the art locks, you’ll be fine,” he reiterated, rolling his eyes. “Digital reinforced with an analog component that you’ll have the only keys to.”
He tossed you a keychain with three keys, which you were quick to catch.
“Downstairs there’s another living room that’ll be for you exclusively and a laundry room.”
“So, you’ll be coming through here to do laundry then?” you asked.
“Cute of you to think I do my own laundry.”
Now it was you who had an eye roll to give.
"Speaking of, all your stuff was delivered safe and sound, but I took the liberty of having some clothes delivered for you. Can't have my fiancée looking like a struggling writer when we're out in public."
You bristled at his comment. "What's wrong with my clothes?"
Ransom's eyes raked over you, his gaze lingering a bit too long for comfort. "Let's just say they don't exactly scream 'trophy wife of a reformed bad boy billionaire.'"
You gritted your teeth, reminding yourself of the substantial paycheck waiting for you at the end of this charade. "Fine. When is the first public outing?"
Ransom checked his watch, a sleek, expensive-looking timepiece that probably cost more than your entire wardrobe. "We have a charity gala tomorrow night. My dear mother thought it would be the perfect opportunity to debut our 'relationship' to society."
Your stomach twisted with anxiety. Tomorrow night? That was so soon. You weren't prepared for this.
“Last thing,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “Here’s your ring.”
Ransom reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box. As he opened it, your breath caught in your throat. Nestled inside was a ring that could only be described as breathtaking.
The center stone was a flawless oval-cut diamond, easily 3 carats, that seemed to capture and refract every bit of light in the room. It was held in place by a delicate setting adorned with two smaller diamonds on either side. Each facet of the ring sparkled with an intensity that was almost hypnotic.
"This," Ransom said, his voice uncharacteristically warm, "is a family heirloom. It belonged to my great-grandmother, passed down through the generations. My mother insisted I give it to you."
He carefully removed the ring from its velvet nest and held it out.
You reached for it, holding it delicately and studying it more closely.
“And I am going to insist that you wear it continually,” he added, tone back to its normal bite, “none of this on and off business. We’re engaged and there’s no reason to risk a slip up forgetting to put it on before you leave the house.”
The weight of it in your hand felt significant, both physically and metaphorically. This wasn't just any engagement ring - it was a piece of Thrombey family history.
"It's... stunning," you managed, your voice barely above a whisper.
Ransom's expression softened for a moment, a flicker of something - pride? nostalgia? - passing across his face. "It is, isn't it?" he said, his the sarcastic tone momentarily abandoned again. "My great-grandfather proposed with that ring after returning from the war. It's seen its fair share of family drama."
You couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I bet it has."
Ransom cleared his throat, his mask of indifference sliding back into place. "Well, go on then. Put it on.”
"Are you sure about this?" you asked cautiously. "Shouldn't a family heirloom go to someone real?"
Ransom's expression hardened slightly. "I’m hardly that sentimental. This arrangement is real enough for my mother, and it's real enough for me. Besides," he added with a sardonic smile, "you're as close to family as I'm likely to get these days."
With a deep breath, you slipped it onto your left ring finger. The final symbol of the elaborate charade you had chosen to undertake.
It was near midnight, and you were worn out and nearly ready to collapse into your bed. The movers had done most of the work, but you still had had some unpacking to take care of and moved the furniture around in your bedroom and the room that would be your office. After giving you the engagement ring, Ransom had left you alone the rest of the day.
You padded quietly through the dining room that connected the two halves of the house to the kitchen to fill up your water bottle before bed.
The house was eerily quiet as you made your way through the darkened rooms. Moonlight filtered through the expansive windows, casting long shadows across the polished floors. You tried to move silently, not wanting to disturb the stillness of the night or alert Ransom to your presence.
As you entered the kitchen, the cool tile against your bare feet sent a small shiver up your spine. You fumbled for a moment, searching for the light switch, but decided against it. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and the soft glow from the windows was enough to navigate by.
You had just placed your water bottle under the refrigerator's filtered, letting the cool water splash into your bottle, when another sound caught your attention.
At first, it was barely perceptible - a faint, rhythmic creaking from upstairs. You froze, straining your ears. The sound grew clearer: a low, guttural groan, followed by the unmistakable sound of skin moving over skin.
Frozen in place, your cheeks flushed hot as realization dawned. Ransom was fisting his cock and unabashedly enjoying it.
Part of you wanted to flee back to your room immediately, but you were paralyzed, afraid any sound of movement might alert him to your presence.
Your breath caught in your throat as Ransom's moans intensified, echoing through the quiet house. The rhythmic creaking of his bed frame quickened, punctuated by deep, guttural groans that sent shivers down your spine. You stood frozen in the kitchen, your water bottle forgotten as you listened, captivated against your will.
Your body betrayed you, responding to the primal sounds drifting down from above. Heat bloomed in your core, your skin tingling with unwanted arousal. You could almost picture him - his muscular body taut with tension, head thrown back in ecstasy, those piercing blue eyes half-lidded with pleasure. Your imagination filled in the details - the flex of his biceps as he stroked himself, the sheen of sweat on his chest, the way his abs would clench with each thrust into his fist.
You pressed your thighs together, trying to quell the ache building between them.
"Fuck," Ransom's voice drifted down, rough with need.
The raw intensity in his voice sent a jolt through you. Your breath quickened, matching the frantic pace of his movements above. You knew you should leave, retreat to the safety of your room, but your feet remained rooted to the spot.
The sounds grew more urgent, building to a crescendo. Ransom's groans became deeper, more primal. You could hear the desperation in his voice, the need for release. Your own body thrummed with sympathetic tension, your nipples hardening beneath your thin sleep shirt.
Suddenly, Ransom let out a long, guttural moan. The sound of it vibrated through you, igniting every nerve ending. You imagined him arching off the bed, his body taut as a bowstring as he found his release.
The house fell silent once more, save for the pounding of your heart in your ears.
Realizing you were still clutching your water bottle, you turned and tip-toed back to your room as quickly as possible.
You slipped quietly back into your room, closing and locking the door behind you with trembling hands. Your heart was still racing, your body flushed with unwanted arousal. You leaned against the door, trying to steady your breathing.
What had just happened? You'd come to get water and ended up an unwitting eavesdropper to your fake fiancé's private moment. The memory of Ransom's deep groans echoed in your mind, sending another shiver through you.
You shook your head, trying to clear the vivid mental images. This was ridiculous. Ransom was arrogant, infuriating, and had literally tried to murder someone. You shouldn't be affected by him like this.
And yet, the memory of his moans lingered, making your skin tingle and your core ache with need.
When you crawled into bed, you brought a book with you instead of your vibrator, refusing to sate the lust that had been kindled because you didn’t want to risk thinking of him. If you couldn’t resist him the first night living under the same roof, there would be no hope for you to make it two years.
And so you read until your eyes drooped and you were finally succumbed to sleep.
HAPPY KNIVES OUT NOVEMBER! It seemed like an appropriate point during the Countdown to Chris-mas to finally buckle down and write my first Ransom fic!
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Thirty-one trips around the sun.
It's funny, I think only the past year I really felt like I was an adult. I could officially say I 'grew up'.
Thirty was an interesting year being the first time in over a decade I moved towns or the first time I left my country and spent significant time in a non English speaking culture. I feel like I needed that shift considering during the beginning half of last year I knew I had the mental fortitude to stand on my own legs and leave my lifting group or to give myself the leeway on grieving my father's death - both of which seem surreal to me now but they've grounded me in the sense that nothing lasts forever and my life is in my hands regardless of what people say. I don't have to sit down and take something I don't need, I'm in charge of my future even if that doesn't sit well with some folks. Some times the best thing to do is to burn the bridge without an remorse of what you've done, to wipe your hands clean of negative influences within your life.
Over my twenties I learned to forgive others but it's only now that I'm learning to forgive myself. I've been very harsh on myself in the past, saying in my own head that if I don't accomplish 'x' then I've failed. In reality I'm only one person and there's times where I've stretched myself thin over nothing. It doesn't mean I shouldn't try but I've come to know that my standards and everyone else's are typically two separate things. I need to do things because I want to do them, not because I think the other person will appreciate them or I'll face burnout and lose my drive. I've done that for too long where I didn't even realize that I wasn't doing things for myself and it's lead to me crashing and burning with my own sanity at the stake. I have to put myself first.
The past year was more about finding my direction more than anything. I had to think more about the long term, where did I want to go from here? What did I want to enjoy in the meantime while I work towards my goals? It might but funny of me to say it now considering a decade ago I wanted all the grandeur of life but now I just want the simple - to be able to slow down and savour the moment while it's here. To stop and sniff the roses because a lot of people miss the forest for the trees so to speak. To witness the beauty of life as a whole.
I've humbled a lot over the years but last year really has set the bar for just how grounded I've become. I long for the surreal moments of just getting to experience life through my five senses. To be here to feel the wind through my hair and witness the dawn approach on another day is something magical. Time isn't slowing down and although I still have my youth about me because I take care of myself physically, life doesn't last forever so I might as well soak up what I can while I'm here.
The last thing that I keep that makes me still feel like a kid is my childlike wonder for the world around me. If there's something out there I can sink my fingers into, you can bet I'm doing it. I'll forever have that adventurous streak and I know I'll be leaning into that with the future in mind, I refuse to be bored in life.
I may have tucked away my childhood but that doesn't mean I have to give way to being a slave to my job or ceasing to enjoy my downtime. I think my thirties are going to be a lot of fun, I've got a lot planned for myself even if I don't have a lot of my goals set in stone, I'll be going where ever life takes me.
Who knows where I'll be next year.
I'm not going to let the unknown intimidate me.
Cheers.
#personal#journal#summer 2024#August#birthday#Happy Birthday#another trip around the sun#growth#inspiration#introspection#inner thoughts#looking back#looking forward#thirty-one#31st birthday#enjoy life#ENTJ#ENTJ personality
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𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)
— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader
— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN
— word count: 9.6k
— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-
— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)
[ part one ]
— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)
"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.
“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.
"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.
"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.
“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.
At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.
After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.
However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.
"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.
The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.
Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.
However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.
Kyoutani Kentarou.
You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.
"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"
"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.
"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.
"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.
You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.
After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.
The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.
It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.
"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.
His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.
"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."
"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.
Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.
After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.
Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.
He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.
After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).
You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.
You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.
At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.
However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.
He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.
"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.
"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.
And then realization hits you.
"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.
Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.
And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.
"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.
“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.
"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”
Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.
"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.
“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.
"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.
"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.
"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.
"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.
"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."
Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.
A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.
It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.
The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.
You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.
"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.
Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.
"But you're not good for me."
You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.
The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.
You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.
Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.
Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.
You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.
"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.
And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.
"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.
“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.
"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”
Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.
Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.
There you are, yet again.
Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.
The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.
Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.
Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.
You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.
And then it hits you.
The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.
Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.
And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.
"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.
You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.
"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.
"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”
You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.
After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.
Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.
"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.
"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.
But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.
"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”
Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.
You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.
"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.
"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."
"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.
"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”
You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.
“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.
"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”
And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.
"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.
“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"
You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."
And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.
"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.
You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.
And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.
"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.
You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.
With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.
"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”
You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.
Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.
But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.
"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.
He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.
After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.
You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.
And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.
"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.
"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.
“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.
"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.
Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.
"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.
“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.
"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.
Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.
"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.
"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."
"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"
His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.
You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.
However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.
Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.
"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.
"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.
"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.
Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.
You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.
“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.
"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.
Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.
Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.
"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.
You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.
The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.
It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.
And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.
"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.
Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.
You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.
Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.
And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.
You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.
Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.
"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.
It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.
You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.
You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.
But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.
"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.
Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.
Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.
He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.
"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.
“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.
Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.
But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.
"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.
"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.
“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.
Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.
"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.
"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.
"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.
"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.
“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.
"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.
“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.
“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”
“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.
You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.
And then he finally starts moving.
A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.
“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”
You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.
His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.
“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.
“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.
You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.
“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.
“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”
A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.
And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.
“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.
“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”
“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.
He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.
You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.
“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.
And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.
“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”
You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.
The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.
You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.
"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”
You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.
And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.
Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.
"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.
Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.
“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."
You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.
"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.
His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.
Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.
"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.
"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.
Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.
"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.
Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.
"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.
This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.
"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.
Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.
And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.
And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.
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#haikyuu smut#hq!! smut#kyoutani smut#kyoutani kentarou smut#hq smut#haikyuu!! smut#haikyuu x female reader#hq!! x female reader#kyoutani x female reader
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PLUS ONE
》 A TRESE TWOSHOT 《
[Maliksi x Reader]
📝 Summary: In which your beloved best friend snatches you from your apartment at dawn asking you to be his plus one for his cousin's wedding. Unbeknownst to the clueless you, everything is just going according to Maliksi's ultimate masterplan. With the help of friends and family, the Prince of the Tikbalang finally gets the girl he's been longing for. And oh, Señor Armanaz gets his dream daughter-in-law and the promise of grandchildren within the year.
📌 Warning: May contain some slight NSFW for spicy suggestiveness and cussing. No smut or anything super SPG—this girl can't write that for her life—but just be prepared. It's Maliksi we're talking about. We've got friends-to-lovers, obliviousness, pining, fluff, and a tikbalang simp. Figure it out. 😃
(word count: 7,454) ♥︎ Part Two: ?
》 AUTHOR'S NOTE 《
Not an Inday spinoff, but a lengthy oneshot in celebration of this blog getting 90 followers. Just ten more to 100, yay! Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone. I also promised that I'll be making this brainrot that @binibiningbabaylan and I have fangirled over a few days ago (find the original post here) when I finished the latest chapter of Inday. Here it is! 🥰
Before I forget, I was also inspired by the cute fic made by @crispybasil titled "Sunshowers" and the "Trese Boys As Things My Guy Friends Do" made by the amazing @smolla-than-a-bug (I bow down to your wonderful works in the Trese fandom). I definitely see Maliksi to be the type to go on spontaneous roadtrips and be the boyfriend to drive you around eveeeerywhere (while also driving you crazy). 🚘
There are also some songs mentioned throughout this work. You should probably listen to them while reading for the full experience. Ending was somewhat rushed but eh, I'm too exhausted and I've rewritten it too many times. Also, if someone makes some actual tikbalang smut, tag me please. Anyways, enjoy! 💕
The way it all started was hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. It happened like a blur. Literally. One second, you were snoozing in your bed. The next? You had a seatbelt on in the shotgun seat of a sophisticated-looking car. Your brain didn't even get to process it yet.
"... So let me get this straight," you grumbled, still half-asleep from your sleep marathon. You just finished a hugely successful project at work yesterday, got promoted, and wanted to make up for the restless nights you spent overtime in the office. Of course you were irritated from being disturbed. You were on vacation leave for two entire weeks, originally planning to go into temporary isolation by deactivating your social media accounts and reserving a beach cabana for yourself in Batangas.
Well, turns out, you weren't going to Batangas anytime soon. All because your unreasonably spontaneous bestfriend of ten hectic years stole you from your apartment at 2AM. Was this considered kidnapping? Was this him just being more in touch with his tikbalang side, taking unsuspecting women in their sleep and leading them to their inevitable death? (He was going over the speed limit, so it was a valid thought.) Will wearing your shirt inside-out save you today? Lord, masyado ka pang pagod para mag-isip ngayon.
"Go on."
"You abducted picked me up in the middle of the night because you want me to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding in Tagaytay?"
"Yup. And technically, the venue is right on the outskirts of Cavite going to Tagaytay," he corrected you as a matter-of-factly.
"Same thing, whatever," you huffed tiredly. "Your cousin's wedding is at 6AM today. In a few hours. In four hours."
"Uh-huh."
You groaned exasperatedly, "Mal naman, eh! You didn't even let me bring anything. Could've at least given me a heads-up a few hours ago. I'm practically emptyhanded right now save for my phone! Sinungaling ka, you said this was just a normal midnight drive—not a freaking wedding!"
The Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang, son of the Great Stallion, heir to the Armanaz herd, and the Top Drag Racer of C-5 Expressway—if that was even one of his Game of Thrones-like titles—grinned as he continued driving beside you. He let you continue ranting in the passenger seat while he mulled over his ultimate masterplan that would change his entire life later on. He was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, so all this wasn't his thing. But for you? He'll make plans, alright.
"Wala man lang akong dinalang masusuot o kahit konting makeup para maging presentable sa harapan ng buong pamilya mo," you exclaimed, in absolute despair. "Do you know how out of my league you are? Your rich-ass family might judge me—hell, your dad might see me as a hampaslupa if I show up there in my pambahay and tsinelas!"
"Psh, I'm not out of your league," Maliksi waved it off, smoothly turning a corner. "And calm down. We've known each other for a decade! My dad practically loves you as his own daughter. Heck, the entire family knows you and keeps telling me they want you adopted in already. Lolo Andres and Lola Perlita said they'd have the paperwork settled. You just need to sign them."
It would be even better (and easier) if you married into the family. To him, specifically (as if he'd let anyone else have you). God, he was already being so obvious in his advances, but you were just so damn oblivious whenever it came to romance. None of this needed to happen if you just got it through your thick skull that he was madly in love with you.
"That's not the point, idiot!" you slumped back into your seat, hopeless. "Do you think the bride and the groom will get offended? Shit, baka masumpaan ako kung magagalit sila, Mal. Mukha akong patay galing sa South Cemetery."
The long-haired tikbalang rolled his eyes, "Huwag kang mag-alala. Nothing's going to go wrong. Chill ka lang diyan. I've got everything under control, babe."
Babe. Yes, he even called you babe but you thought it was him being a himbo and a massive flirt. Now, it was his common term of endearment for you, but you still assumed it was him just being irksome to you and that you couldn't stop the man from saying it anymore. Thus, you let it be (the most obvious hint of his attraction to you, bestie).
"... Ugh, why didn't you ask Hannah or Amie to go with you?"
He just smiled knowingly, shrugging and making up an excuse, "Nagmamadali ako, eh. Hannah and Amie are also coming, but they already have the other tikbalang as dates."
"'Luh, ako pala ang backup choice mo?"
"Heh. Whatever you want to think."
Little did you know that you were always his first choice. Always. Even when he pursued Alexandra Trese many years ago, trying to convince himself you were just his best friend, it was always you. How did he come to that realization? Well, an international band he was a fan of released a song a couple years ago and he heard it being played in a club in BGC. The song title?
It Was Always You by Maroon 5.
Needless to say, after hearing the song and being unable to get it—get you—out of his mind at night, he stopped courting Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, that time, you'd started dating other men. Therefore, he was left on the sidelines... until your latest and most painful breakup, at least. That was five years ago. You still hadn't dated anyone since then, kind of traumatized from getting into another failed relationship like that.
In the present day, as if the fates were playing on you two, one of your favorite artists played on the radio. A very ironic song given the situation you two were in.
Best Friend by Rex Orange County.
Maliksi knew it was a favorite of yours. He knew it by the way your eyes lit up like a star brightening the twinkling night sky. Like the sun first rising in the morning at Apolaki's command. Like the moon extending its gentle rays from the magic of Mayari herself. If there was anything he wanted to ask of the old gods, it was you—everything else be damned.
"I wanna be the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake," you half-sang and half-screamed happily, somewhat out-of-tune. "I can't wait to be your number oooooone! I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine—"
Maliksi glanced at you, not minding that his eardrums were probably getting microscopic ruptures from your aggressive singing. As much as he wanted to stare at you all day, he had to keep his eyes on the road. But the lyrics you were singing were wrong; the Prince of the Tikbalang was already yours from day one.
"Babe, McDo drive-through tayo for breakfast. Let me make it up to you. Gusto mo ng caramel sundae for your promotion gift? Sige. Ako bahala. Chicken nuggets din? Mabubusog ka ba niyan? I don't think they serve those this early..."
》》》
"Sandali lang!" you shouted out from inside an empty room. You'd just arrived at the venue—the Alta Veranda de Tibig in Silang, Cavite (practically the gateway to Tagaytay)—an hour or so ago. The hired makeup artist just left so that you could privately change into the outfit that had been bought specifically for you. Curse Mal and his ability to buy anything (perhaps anyone) he wanted. "Bwiset, Mal, you didn't tell me we'd be part of the damn entourage. We have to be walking the aisle in thirty minutes, simbako! You just love rushing me, don't you!?"
If only you were the one walking down the aisle today towards him.
When you exited the room, Maliksi couldn't help but let his jaw drop as he skimmed your figure, clad in the luxurious, silky satin blush midi dress he bought in one of those fancy stores in Makati yesterday. He imagined that it would look great on you, but now, seeing it on you in person... you looked divine (and frankly, he wanted to see it off your body to see what was underneath—but don't get too ahead of yourself, Mal). It was a whole 'nother level from his imagination. The deep cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps showed your lovely collarbones... as well as a peek of your cleavage. His favorite and the best part of it all? It was backless, allowing him to gaze at the tempting curve of your spine.
He hadn't realized he had grown silent until you smiled and closed his mouth, tapping his chin.
"Lalangawin ang bibig mo, Mal," you laughed softly. Never had you seen him so speechless. You then flicked your hair back, ridiculously posing for him like you were on the cover of Vogue magazine (haba ng hair mo, gurl!). "Do I look that good? Char lang."
"... You look absolutely ravishing—I mean, uh, stunning. Hot. Yeah." That was all he could say. He mentally punched himself for not showering you with more suave compliments.
Still, your face brightened up, not knowing that the man in front of you just fell for you a thousand times harder, "Wow! Really? Damn. Ang galing talaga ng MUA na kinuha mo, ginawa akong artista. Give me their contact number later! May work event pa naman ako in two months. I'm shocked, it's like they made me rise from the dead! Even my eyebags are gone, Mal! How'd they do that?" Heck yeah, your confidence was boosted. He offered his arm to you like a gentleman, making you half-heartedly roll your eyes (you took it anyway). From holding it alone, you could tell that your best friend was a sinewy man (well, you knew that already after seeing his tikbalang form before—the little shit didn't even wear a loincloth like all his clanmates; your poor eyes were eternally scarred).
You looked him up and down. You wouldn't lie—Maliksi is and always has been an attractive man. Now? With his hair in a ponytail (pun not intended), definitely one of the hunkiest men you've ever known. "You're not looking too bad yourself, horsey."
"Ako pa!" He puffed his chest out in pride. You chuckled at his reaction.
"By the way, how do you even know my dress size and my shoe size?"
"Babe, I've known you too long. You know almost everything about me, I know everything about you."
You snorted at his confident tone, "'Di nga? You don't know every single thing about me, Mal. Assuming ka masyado."
"Alam ko nga anong cup size mo. Wala lang 'yang shoe and dress size."
You slapped his shoulder, cheeks quickly flushing red, "Huy, umayos ka! Walang hiyang tikbalang na 'to." With this guy as your best friend? You heard dirty jokes at least once a day. "Don't be inappropriate here!"
"What? It's only fair I know!" He looked down on you suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "You already know I always go commando, so of course I know that your bra is a size—"
"Shhh! Baka marinig ka, 'nyeta."
"So? Let them hear. My best friend has a nice set of melons!" he shouted. You were grateful there was no one around. Hopefully.
"Oh my God..."
Your best friend chortled at how flustered you'd become. He led you to where some of his family was waiting, with a couple of his relatives already greeting you. You instantly and quite easily mingled with them, your worries of them not accepting you far from even true (they all knew how much their prince loved the innocent you).
"Kayo na talaga, pare?" one of his older tikbalang clanmates asked while you went away to be fawned over by his aunts.
Maliksi chuckled, crossing his arms as he watched you from afar, "Heh. Hindi pa."
Another one of his clanmates—a younger one—laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Talaga? That's cap, bro. You two are like a married couple already and you guys still aren't a thing?"
"Ilang taon na ba kayong magkakaibigan?" the older one asked him.
"Almost ten years," Maliksi responded, a smile unconsciously pulling his lips up as he remembered your moments together. He watched you converse with his female relatives (who adored you the moment Maliksi brought you to a family event many moons ago).
The two tikbalang snickered as they saw the look on the Great Stallion's heir.
"You're down bad," the younger one said, snapping a photo of his lovestruck kuya. "You've got it so bad for her, dudeparechong!"
"Balak mong ligawan anytime soon?" the older tikbalang inquired.
"Heh. Balak ko na ngang pakasalan. Kung pwede, ngayon."
They looked at Maliksi as if he was crazy. He was very much serious, though, even if there was a huge, lopsided smile on his face. The Prince of the Tikbalang raised a brow at them.
"What? Don't give me that look. Our ten years of being best friends is practically the courting and the dating stage already."
"Eh... you're right. Don't waste anymore time. Go and marry her today, dude. Suporta kami sa'yo, basta groomsmen kami sa kasal niyo, ha!"
"Ge. Without question."
Meanwhile, on your end with the ladies of the family, they started pestering you on your love life (like all typical Filipino aunties). Chismis everywhere.
"O, iha, single ka pa ba?"
"Kailan ka magpapakasal? Malapit ka nang pumasok sa thirties mo."
"Do you want kids? How many?"
"Are you and Maliksi a couple? You look good together! Kayo na, 'di ba?"
"Will you be getting married next? Are you engaged? When's the wedding? Invite niyo kami!"
Before you could get overwhelmed by their questions, Maliksi swept you off your feet to lead you to the entourage that was lining up outside the chapel area. Again, it happened like a blur. He laughed at the partially nauseated look on your face.
"You okay there?" he asked, grinning.
"Your family thinks we're together," you muttered quietly, not meeting his eyes. You weren't sure why you felt... tingly about their statements.
He tilted his head at you curiously, gently setting you down on your feet and helping you stand.
"Do you hate the idea?" It hurt him to ask you the question, but he wanted your thoughts on it. Perhaps doing this was a bad idea. Maliksi was competitive in many things, including wanting you to be his, but if you were so opposed to it, he would never force you into something you didn't want. He let go of your hand; you didn't even notice he'd been holding it until he let go. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
Your wide-eyed gaze snapped back to look up at him, "No! No, it's not that! And... it's not bad." Your hand felt strangely empty now that his was gone. Biting your lip, you disclosed, "You're not making me uncomfortable, Mal. Don't ever think that."
With that, you shyly interlocked your arm with his, tearing your eyes from his to mask the growing warmth you felt spreading in your veins. You two didn't say anything else when the ushers let you walk down the beautiful, petal-covered aisle together.
The man beside you was starstruck. Hopeful. Maybe both of you did have a chance. Maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul, his feelings for you were being reciprocated. For the rest of the sacred ceremony in the gorgeous main pavilion, both of you relished in short, comfortable, and low conversations. He even cracked jokes every once in a while—really funny ones that made it challenging for you to you stifle your laughter.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride."
Maliksi fervently prayed to Bathala that he'd experience the same opportunity he was seeing with you someday. One day.
Even while the sun was brightly out, the sky began showering down light rain onto the land. You were in awe as you looked out the window.
"Hala, totoo nga pala! Tignan mo!" you laughed, tugging Maliksi's suit sleeve, pointing at the window.
"Na ano?" he curiously inquired, not understanding what you were referring to.
"Na kapag may tikbalang na kinakasal, umuulan habang may araw pa," you replied, eyes filled with childlike mirth and wonder. A rainbow had even begun to form by the clouds. "Look, it's magical! Ang ganda pala ng view dito kasama ang old Spanish architecture. Timeless na timeless. It's so pretty, 'no? Picture tayo 'maya, Mal."
Unlike you, it wasn't the sky outside that the prince was looking at. Amidst the loud cheers for the newlywed couple and the bubbles the guests were blowing, his vision could only focus on how magnificent you looked while being amazed. You were his best view. (Ed from 90-Day Fiancé, kabahan ka na, may katapat ka sa pickup line mo.)
》》》
"Smile for the picture!"
You giggled as Maliksi was dragged into a photo-op with the bridesmaids and the important older wedding sponsors a few feet away (funnily, he looked a little constipated around them). All of a sudden, when he was heading back to your direction, you were roughly pushed into the said man's arms. When you turned around, there was nothing (except maybe a gust of wind that came out of nowhere).
"Ooh, gotcha. Careful," the tikbalang steadied you, strong hands holding your biceps. "Natapilok ka?"
"... Huh, hindi naman," you wondered suspiciously, looking around. "I think someone pushed me? Parang tinulak ako... but wala namang tao."
"Weird. Maybe it was just the wind."
It actually was. Really. Maliksi knew for a fact that it was those two taong hangin who were spying on you from the corner, trying to pair you up. He gave them a thumbs-up while your back was turned in the opposite direction. Hannah and Amie returned the thumbs-up before vanishing. Suddenly, the two wedding photographers had moved on from the bridesmaids and were right beside you.
"What a lovely couple you two are!" she praised. Before you could correct her, she held up the black contraption she held towards you two. "Pose for the camera, lovelies!"
And so you did, the photographer guiding you two on what to do. Maliksi wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned on his side, looking sidewards to the camera with one leg cocked in front of the other. Her assistant, who was holding a polaroid camera, printed out two photos for you.
"Thank you," you told him, taking the photos from his hands then flicking them rapidly to make the images develop. You and Mal were about to walk to the reception area when the photographer stopped you, handing the male beside you a business card.
"If you two need a photographer or a videographer for your wedding, call me," she signaled to both of you before running to another guest, bringing her assistant with her.
You gawked, "Mal, did you just hear what she said?"
"Loud and clear." A grin was on his face. He seemed very pleased at what he heard.
"... How can she even tell if someone is married or not?"
Maliksi's free hand took your left hand, tapping the ring finger, "Nothing here."
"Ooooooh. I get it now." Your brows creased. "Huh. This is like the fifth time today the people here have mistaken us for a couple."
Maliksi shrugged, teasing you, "Who knows? Baka may potential tayo, babe."
Before you could ask him what he meant, he was hurriedly towing you to the reception venue. While he was doing that, you stared at the now-developed polaroid photos you were holding. Huh. Maybe you two did look like a couple.
"Come on, they're serving some snacks at the welcome reception area. Peach pie and mango float-flavored. Paborito mo, babe."
》》》
The rest of the night went by without a hitch. You were actually enjoying the event—the host was great, the food was great, the music was great. Everything was great... that was, until the games.
"Alright! Now that the bride's garter has been removed, let's have the bouquet and garter toss... starting with the females!" the host announced. "Dear bride, please stay here in front. And all single ladies—and by single I mean ready to mingle and are not married—please rise and stand here on the dance floor. Let's play matchmaker tonight, everyone!"
"Uy, single ladies daw," Maliksi nudged your side. "Sign mo na 'yan." You snorted like a pig.
"Nope, ayokong madamay sa bouquet toss," you whisper-yelled at your best friend. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Besides, they won't notice if I don't join! Special tactic ko 'yan sa weddings: pretending I'm not single. Katabi naman kita."
More women came to the front, making you feel assured that you didn't need to participate. The host was about to say something, when the bride interrupted to whisper something into his ear.
"Hala, halaaa! Sabi ko all single ladies, pero may isang single lady na nagtatago pa!" he announced, making you freeze. Please don't let it be you. "What's her name, beloved bride?"
"Y/N L/N." You nearly spat out your champagne. You? Did they just call out your name? How did they know?
"Oh fuck," you cursed quietly.
"'Di ka makakatakas dito, babe," Maliksi jabbed, making you stand up. "Tinatawag ka na."
"Baka may ibang Y/N L/N dito," you resisted, attempting to sit back down. "I can't do this, Mal."
"'Sus, ikaw pa. And it's just a symbolic ceremony!" he encouraged, as if he didn't have any underlying intentions. "I doubt the bouquet will go to you anyway."
Sheesh, what a big fat liar you are, tikbalang prince.
You expressed your dissatisfaction with the situation, "Bwiset, fine. I'll just... dodge it. Or evade it. God, I swear..." You calmed down, confident. "I'm not going to worry. I've never caught the bouquet at my own friends' weddings anyway."
When you were at the dance floor, Maliksi snickered, seeing the bride—his cousin—wink at him. After all, he had thoroughly bribed her earlier.
《《《
"It's about time you settled down with someone, Mal," the bride commented while he slipped her the newest Hermés designer bag filled with a bunch of jewelry (plus some bills) two hours ago, right before the reception began and while you were in the restroom freshening up. "Hehehe, this is why you're my favorite cousin."
"Do we have a deal?"
"Of course. I'll make sure she participates. I'll also try to throw it in her direction."
"Good. Thanks."
"You better invite me to your beach wedding. I can tell how much you love her."
"Not a problem. I'll even make you a sponsor."
The bride stared at her bouquet, already practicing how she was going to throw it, "Tito's going to thank me so much for ensuring that he's going to get grandkids soon, hihi."
》》》
Back to the present, on the other end of the room, Maliksi saw a familiar duo give him a sign that they were ready. Bingo. Time to execute the most important part of his plan.
《《《
"I don't care how you do it," he told the two wind elementals after he bribed the bride. "I've already instructed the bride on what she should do, pero siguraduhin niyo lang talagang lumipad sa kanya ang bouquet."
"Mmhmm," Amie flipped her hair, a hand on her cocked hip. "And what do we get in return, oh great Señorito Armanaz?"
"Sagot ko bar-hopping niyo for one month."
The two girls pretended to think about it, making Maliksi roll his eyes. He had to pull out the big guns, huh?
"Fine. Magbibigay ako ng cash deposit plus pwede niyong gamitin ang black card ko for a one-week shopping spree in Ortigas." There. Bullseye. That's what they liked.
"Deal!" they exclaimed excitedly.
Hannah let a cool gust of wind enter one of the nearby windows, testing out how they're going to do this. "Ano pa bang pinaplano mo for Y/N mamaya?"
Maliksi hummed, "Basta."
》》》
You tried your best to hide within the densest part of the group of women. The bride seemed to have her eyes on you, weirdly enough, and she looked almost feral wanting to throw her flowers into someone's face.
That someone being you. Most likely.
"Target locked on," you saw her mouth move. She positioned herself like she was about to throw a football at someone (ahem, you). Holy shit, was she talking to you? Miss ma'am, it was a bouquet toss not a bouquet throw. The bride seemed to notice this, and once more regained her elegant composure.
"3, 2, 1," the host counted down. "Go!"
Surprisingly, the bouquet flew very high into the air (it was a wonder it didn't get tangled in the ceiling decor), but quite a distance away from you. You grinned, knowing it was too far to even touch you. Squeezing through the crowd of women eagerly awaiting the bouquet, you went to return to your assigned table.
Ah, what a wonderful evening.
Sike!
Something painfully landed right into your face, leaves and flowers getting into your hair and mouth.
... Wait, leaves and flowers?
Before you could comprehend it, the bouquet dropped right into your arms. What kind of ungodly, inhuman force allowed this to even happen?
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our lucky girl for the night!" Everyone clapped, with some—those guests you knew—even cheering your name unbelievably loud. The host approached you, a glint in his eye which you couldn't understand. "Miss Y/N, kindly sit here while we await the lucky guy who catches the garter from the groom."
What just happened?
"All single gentlemen, please proceed to the dance floor. Remember, the man who gets the garter gets to slip it onto the lucky lady's leg later!"
Oh, God. You pinched the bridge of your nose. What you'd give to be back at home or to be in that resort in Batangas you'd planned on going to for a solo vacation.
"To make this even more exciting," the host stated, handing you a black blindfold. "Our lucky lady has to keep her eyes closed until her lucky man for the night captures the bride's garter! When the music plays, only then can she uncover her eyes."
See? Humiliating, just as you expected. Still, you wrapped the blindfold around your head (albeit hesitantly). You attempted to guess who it might be, thinking of all the tikbalang friends Maliksi had introduced to you back then whenever he invited you to his clan reunions.
"Groom, are you ready?" the host asked, microphone loud and clear.
"Ready na ready!"
"Single gentlemen, are you ready?!"
"Ready na ready! Awoo, awoo!" they loudly chorused, exactly mimicking Spartans about to engage in battle. You sweatdropped in the seat you were in. This was actually kind of scary. Maybe you felt a bit objectified.
"3, 2, 1, go!"
There was a brief moment of silence, which made you concerned. Ba't ang tahimik? Then, everyone erupted into roars and bravoes much louder than when you caught the bouquet—perhaps even louder by tenfold. What the heck was happening?!
The music played. Very raunchy, spicy, babymaking music. You expected it to be the typical Careless Whisper by George Michael or Pony by Ginuwine (corny songs which you could probably laugh at, at least), but no. Nuh-uh, this was probably worse. The DJ must be pretty young, the song of their choosing being a slowed, bass-boosted, sexier remix of Earned It by the Weeknd.
Ano 'to, bold? Fifty Shades of Grey? The hell was this?
Alright. This was embarrassing. Thank the heavens there were no children at this party. From the music alone and its implications, this was strictly for adults.
You removed your blindfold (that was okay now, right?) as the guests whistled playfully. You peeked one eye open reluctantly, then inwardly groaned. Oh, no. You should've expected it to be him of all people from how loud the reactions were. And all those yells from the crowd were from his family.
Son of a—
"Well, this has proven to be a very interesting arrangement!" the host proclaimed. "Our lucky man for tonight is none other than our great clan leader's heir, Maliksi Armanaz! Congratulations, sir! You get to slip the lacey little garter on Miss Y/N!"
The said very smug tikbalang stood a few feet away from the chair you were sitting on, smirking at you. His hair was no longer in that mesmerizing ponytail—instead, he'd tied it into a more sinfully attractive man-bun, loose strands framing his face and accentuating that sharp, angled jaw of his (say yes and thank you to Manny Jacinto's jawline, besties).
"Let's cheer him on in his new mission, everybody!" the host pushed. Was this that glint in his eye earlier? And was that a one thousand peso bill sticking out of his pocket?
The groomsmen, Mal's cousins and uncles whom you've met before, hollered words of encouragement to the tall man (who was, oddly enough, not one bit fazed). In fact, Maliksi seemed like he was famished as he stared you down.
You swallowed, feeling like you were going to get eaten (heh, say that again). Maliksi had shrugged off his dark suit blazer to the beat of the song (holy fuck, he also unclasped the suspenders attached to his pants right before your eyes—asdfghjkl). Were you prepared for this? No. Will you ever be prepared? No!
"Mr. Armanaz, before you begin," the host interrupted. "We have an additional challenge for you in this mission. Kaya mo ba? It was a request of the newlywed couple."
"What is it?"
"Use your teeth!" the bride and the groom cheerfully shouted, clapping with the other guests. Whatdidtheysaaaaay???
The cocky bastard didn't even hesitate, his smirk at you growing wider; those pearly whites of his on full display. Was it just you or were his canines a little sharper than usual?
"Anything for the newlyweds. Challenge accepted," he dashingly replied, winking at you. You sputtered indignantly. Pisteng yawa. Putangina. Putek. Pakshet. You swore you thought of every swear word in the book at that moment. What did that YouTube parody song about Filipino mythological creatures say again? About the tikbalang? Ah, yes. Half-macho dancer and half-stallion. Maybe the joke was true, especially when you saw what Maliksi did next.
He bit the shred of lace, loosening his necktie (bestie, you good there?), unbuttoning some top buttons, and rolling up the sleeves of his collared white undershirt up to his elbows (consequently showing off his toned, veiny forearms—those lucky bridesmaids behind him nearly fainted). Honestly, you felt like you were about to lose your mind from embarrassment. With how tantalizing your guy best friend was being? Let our response be: San Pedro, kunin mo na ako. Was he doing all this to tease you? To rile you up?
Because damn it all, it was working. In your ten years of knowing Maliksi Armanaz, withstanding all his daily dirty jokes and flirtatious attempts, never had you seen him like this. So... wolfish. Ravenous. Like he was a man that hadn't been fed in years.
He stalked closer towards you, falling to his knees in front of your legs. Your gown had a long slit that extended up to an inch or two below where your left leg began—your best friend was eyeing his target already, knowing where to place the garter. Normally, you would never even wear something as revealing as this gown. It just wasn't your type, but Maliksi was the one who bought this for you for this specific occasion, so you had no choice. It was this or your pantulog he stole you in just hours ago. At first, you were confident in the gown. Now? You felt too... naked.
Somehow, in the heat of it all, you'd muted out the noise of the venue. Maliksi teasingly lifted your foot up, fingertips slyly grazing the thin shoe straps around your left foot—his calculated touch leaving fire in its trail. Once the garter had been successfuly inserted past your high-heeled stilettos, the man kneeling in front of you kept his hands to himself. Despite the fact that now there was absolutely zero skin-to-skin contact between you and this man, your body felt hotter than it ever was before as he expertly slid the lacy bit of cloth up your ankle at an agonizingly slow pace.
Maliksi's warm eyes had turned dark, his pupils blown, a tinge of red in them—of his true beast—while he maintained striking eye contact with you, pulling the garter up your calf with his teeth. Smoothly tugging... tugging... tugging. Tangina, it was like he was undressing you with his eyes alone; like he was telepathically telling you to keep your eyes open.
To keep your eyes on him, where he was knelt inbetween your legs, his hands intentionally locked on his back. Did you ever imagine this? Him between your legs? Maybe. Once or twice. But you never thought about it seriously; Maliksi dated girls left and right in the past.
His lips... his lips were so close... so close to your leg that you could feel the heat of his breath along with the lace. Were you about to die? Perhaps you already did. Maybe you were in heaven. Up... up... up... snap!
Suddenly, he stopped, grinning up at you mischievously and letting the elastic bounce back to the skin of your left knee.
"I'm not going any further, don't worry, babe," he whispered, noting that your eyes had become misty and glazed over. Internally, he grew worried. "That's enough." Did he think it was from discomfort? From you being uncomfortable? Bitch, no. It was the exact opposite. You had never been this turned on in your entire life.
You felt like your soul had left your body at that moment. Did you just have a heart attack? Was your blood pressure okay? Before you or Maliksi could stand, however, someone bellowed from the wedding sponsor tables.
"Higher! That's an order!"
Fucking hell, it was Maliksi's father who shouted. He wasn't in the huge tikbalang form you'd normally meet him in, but he was still very intimidating in his humanoid form, commanding attention and subservience wherever he went. You could tell where Maliksi got it from.
Instantly, the other guests—already half-drunk and wanting the spirit of partying to continue on—joined in.
"Higher! Higher!"
The host cheered, "You heard Señor Armanaz! Higher!"
Maliksi gave you a questioning look. Even if it was his father who spoke up, he still wouldn't do anything you didn't want. Well, you two made it this far; there was no point in getting embarrassed now. You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. You probably couldn't erase the redness on your skin with how much you'd blushed from this night. It was as if the heat was tattooed onto your skin.
"Go on, Mal," you whispered to him, bending your torso down closer to his face, eyes half-lidded from want. "Finish what you started, babe."
With those sultry bedroom eyes he'd never once seen you show him before—plus you turning the tables with that familiar term of endearment, how could he refuse? Like a switch had been flipped inside him, he immediately complied, taking the frilly scrap of stretchy lace between his teeth once more, moving it further up to your thighs until where your high slit ended—centimeters below the warming juncture between your legs.
Your legs felt wobbly... boneless, as you stood up from the chair, the fabric of your gown cascading over where the lace sat securely on your upper left thigh. The party was still going strong even after you two finished the garter wearing tradition.
"'Atta boy! That's my son!" Señor Armanaz blazoned, standing up and raising his glass for a toast. "Cheers to the newlywed couple! May they last forever!"
You guys weren't the newlyweds, but it did sure feel like it. If the clan leader was hyped up, everyone was hyped up. Heck, the groom and the bride didn't mind one bit what had just transpired on their dance floor. In all the chaos, Maliksi took you out of the reception area and somewhere quieter. More private.
You would need to have a serious, urgent talk with your boy best friend.
》》》
You two silently sat on a stone bench in a gazebo somewhere in the reserved venue for the wedding, trying to cool down and get yourselves back together (at this point, you needed ice from that steamy, half-scandalous event you just went through). Here, there was no one else except for the chirping of crickets, the lush trees surrounding the area, and the golden fairy lights strewn all over the roof. Awkwardness was something you'd expected after what just happened, but somehow, you still felt comfort in this man's presence. For the past thirty minutes, both of you just stayed still, lost in your thoughts and reflecting.
"Mal?" you finally spoke up.
"... Hmm?"
"Ano tayo?"
"Whatever you want us to be."
Your fingers instinctively reached out for his, just like they always did when you were anxious. Sensing this, he grasped your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Soothingly. He massaged the skin of your fingers, distracting you from your nervousness. It seemed like both nothing and everything changed between both of you. The gesture was the same, but so different at the same time.
"Mahal mo ako." It was not a question. It was a statement. A truth—one that you'd been too blind to see before. One that you only discovered while you stared into each other's eyes in that party not as best friends. You realized with a jolt in your heart what he really felt for you, and now, what you really felt for him. In those thirty minutes of silence, you knew. You just knew.
"Yes. I do."
"... Just as a best friend?" you probed.
"..."
Finally, you gazed into his eyes, previously so dark and full of hunger. Now? Just reluctant. Vulnerable. Open. Unsure of what to do next.
Seems like you had to be the one to take initiative tonight. Taking out your phone, you opened your music app and pressed play on a certain song. Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. You removed your heels (which were starting to blister your ankles and toes), then pulled him up to stand.
"Dance with me," you murmured, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist. He was stiff. Tense. What was he to do when the woman he's been pining after for so long let him hold her? All his gallantry and ability to romance disappeared out the window the moment you let him touch you so intimately.
You two weren't even waltzing. Just swaying. Slowly, you leaned your head on his broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.
"... I love you," Maliksi admitted in the middle of it all, feeling like he was dreaming. Your head on his chest kept him grounded to reality, however. "More than anything in the universe. I fell for you ever since you patched me up when you were nineteen and I was a reckless drag racer who didn't have a purpose in life. 'Nung dinala mo ako pabalik sa Armanaz Tower on the verge of death. Simula noon, ikaw lang."
"I realized that," you smiled, reminiscing the old memory. You were just a broke college student that time, coming back to your dorm from making your group thesis at a classmate's house. Imagine your panic when you found a half-man, half-horse bleeding out by some bushes on the way home at night. Despite your fear and your little money (only enough to feed you for the week), you went out of your way to buy a first-aid kit at the nearest 7/11. It was scary, but you managed to mend the creature's wounds by the side of the road. When he was finally able to speak, turning fully human (which you admit, freaked you out initially), you arduously carried him back to his address—to his father and his clan, even if you had classes the very next morning. Because of your heroic deed of saving their precious heir, the tikbalang clan had become indebted to you: a teenage girl on the verge of a mental academic breakdown, just making her way through the cruel adult world. How old of a memory that was, you thought, yet you still recalled it in perfect detail. "Just a while ago."
"Ah." He swayed you gently.
"Lahat ng ito, plano mo?"
"... Yes," Maliksi fessed up. "Except for this part where we're here dancing in this belvedere. Wala sa plano ko. Gusto ko sanang magconfess doon sa may fountain para sweet, pero..."
You lifted your head off his chest, smiling at him with one brow raised, "You know, between both of us, you're supposed to be the spontaneous one. Planning isn't usually your thing."
"I know. It's a failure, huh?" Maliksi sighed.
"Nah." You shook your head, then suddenly locked lips with him. It was so fast and surprising he didn't even get the chance to return your first kiss. For once, you caught him off guard. You pecked him on the lips again. "It's not a failure."
"Wha—"
"I'm sorry for making you wait, Maliksi. Ten years. We're twenty-nine now, and only tonight do I realize how blind I've been. We've been going around in circles, wasting so much time. Ayoko nang mag-aksaya ng oras," you whispered guiltily against his lips. How could you have been so blind? Andaming nasayang na taon. Making up your mind, you told him, "Yes. Sige, I accept. I'll be your plus one."
The tikbalang was flustered and baffled from the kiss, as well as your revelation, "... But, you already are?"
"No, silly. I meant that I'll be your plus one for life. For as long as you'll have me," you laughed, now processing that you were currently dancing barefoot with your boy best friend and had just kissed him in a wedding you didn't even plan on going to. The universe had a mysterious way of doing things. "Guess I'm the spontaneous one now, huh?"
Maliksi was tongue-tied. "Seryoso ka ba? Is... Is this a marriage proposal?"
"Whatever you want it to be," you echoed his words back to him. "Best friend, plus one, girlfriend, wife—mmpf!"
He kissed you so hard your lips bruised. After an impromptu makeout session which was definitely more in character for Maliksi, you both pulled away, panting heavily in search for air, still desperate for passion. He cupped your cheeks, giving you a sweet, featherlight Eskimo kiss.
"You're missing one more title."
"Hm? What do you mean, Mal?"
"Love of my life." He kissed you again, this time lifting you off your feet and spinning you around (his sneaky right hand was resting on your bum, too, giving it a tight squeeze). You know in the Princess Diaries where the main character's foot just... pops whenever the prince charming kissed her? Yeah, that happened to you on that humid summer night. This was right. You two were meant to be together. Everything was falling into place.
The bungalow you reserved for your Batangas vacation leave ended up being the site of your very eventful honeymoon with the Prince of the Tikbalang (with his libido, it wasn't that difficult to continue where you'd left off in the garter toss; that scrap of lace came off your leg the same way it went on). Actually, nauna pa ang honeymoon sa actual wedding (it was definitely spontaneous). Right after your confession in that alcove, you two went to Maliksi's father to ask for his blessing (which he gladly gave, cackling and saying that it took you long enough) before you guys went driving off to Batangas that night. You and Mal indeed had lots and lots of fun in that resort (I'll let you imagine the rest). More beautiful memories were made from that point on—this time, not just as best friends.
All that and your small, intimate wedding occurred in early April. Just when you thought that it'd be impossible to fulfill Maliksi's life goal of having a baby within the year (nine months of pregnancy meant that the earliest you'd give birth would be January next year), the impossible happened.
Exactly thirty-two weeks later, on New Year's Eve, the Armanaz herd welcomed one prince and two new princesses into the world. Triplets who were instantly adored by everyone in the clan.
Señor Armanaz had never been happier, and so were you and your husband. Your best friend. The love of your life. Your forever plus one.
Maybe being spontaneous wasn't so bad after all.
Taglist: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @methehipster @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie
#trese#trese 2021#trese netflix#maliksi#maliksi x reader#tikbalang#trese fic#x reader#trese x reader#thera.writes
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Barely over twenty? He's nearly thirty, but he'd let the bean pole get away with calling him pretty for his age.
He listens to the man, hears the way he speaks, the way he praises him. It all feels weird, not disgusting like it might have from another blonde's mouth, but... Still strange for him to hear. Despite spending two years trying to be good, a third nearly in this place, it's so odd to think he's a good guy.
Ears picked up the clenching of muscles on the axe, the tints of an emotion... Shame? Sorrow? Regret? He wasn't good with emotions, only that the man was unhappy. Right, he must have come from a place with powers of some sort. It made sense now.
Why was he about to be the adult?
"This place..." He looks around, now searching his own mind. "It takes from you everything when you arrive. Your weapons, your tools, the things held dear to your heart." The cigarette box he'd spent hours carefully protecting among many other things.
"But it gives in that theft." He raises a hand to silence any arguing. "You came from a place where you had super powers, or something deemed 'abnormal' or 'inhuman' I take it. The shame, the way you move, it shows confidence and authority. But here no one knows who you are nor whatever you had, right?"
The man shoulders the cross, letting it swing off and land with a firm, three hundred pound THUD on the ground. It was clearly metal, something mechanical under the cloth even.
"I've been here nine months. Had nothing when I showed up, stripped down to being a human rather than an experiment." Fingers tap the cross lightly as he figures his words out.
"When you're so used to dancing on stone, it's strange to find yourself out on ice. You feel like a toddler learning to walk again, like everything is chaotic and doesn't make sense. You feel weak, pathetic, distressed, or even mad that people look at you and think 'oh look, it's a frail old man' or 'look it's a young man, he can't do much nor knows much'." Perhaps a little too on the nose for the very things that also upset him, but it was an attempt to connect.
That even being here near a year he felt like an outcast.
"But deep down, all you can think of is 'if only you knew me from my world'." Finally, he looks up at the gangly blonde, through the dark tint of his shades. "I don't know who you are, sir, for that I'm sorry. But now, people have a chance to meet you, not some title thrust upon you or earnt through hard work. You don't have to live up to any expectations here, no one will think lesser of you because you can't do what you did before, no one knows." Roberto knew, Nai knew, Legato knew, many knew, but the world didn't.
He picks the cross back up, letting it thump on his spine with the ease and comfort of practice. It's a symbol, the comfort of learning, of practicing being himself, something he hopes the man can see.
"Think of it less as 'I am a burden for I am not who I was' and rather... I dunno, see it as a chance for you to discover who you are. No expectations, no eyes staring at you thinking 'oh it's him, that guy that acts this way'." He smiles then, the first one in a long while, full of light and hope.
The first one since Xuanyu showed him the house after he killed Vash because he wasn't good enough.
"As far as I'm concerned, I'm here helping even the most able bodied people get home safe. No one should enter these woods alone, so I shadow them to help if needed. Had you met me before arriving here, I'd have told you to fuck off and cry about it." He shrugs as he moves on ahead. "Things will return to you in time, what won't is your sense of self. I found out who Nicholas D. Wolfwood really was during the time where the experiment, the super soldier, wasn't with me." He huffs, knowing somewhere out there, Xuanyu is probably crying with joy at him.
"Now come on. If you want your wishes to come true in the fire, we need a good log according to the traditions of this place. So let's make sure we come back with the best one we like, no exceptions."
「私が来た!」– Toshinori glanced back at the young man who was following him. Well, he didn't blame the boy for being rather prickly - he supposed that he was being somewhat cold himself. Although he didn't mean to be.
It was still... an adjustment. That was the problem. He was still trying to adjust to all of it - to being, somehow, even more powerless than back home. To no longer having One for All in the way he had once held it. To being someone who needed to be protected.
It left him feeling frustrated and helpless.
The entirety of the interaction faded into silence for a long moment, only the crunch of the snow beneath their boots or shoes to accompany the search. However, finally, Toshinori stopped and turned, the lanky blonde looking down at the man who must have been barely over twenty.
"My apologies, young man. I wasn't my intention to come off so callously. I appreciate your concern and assistance. It is a noble thing to offer up yourself in service of protecting others." He paused for a moment, looking for the words. "I suppose that I'm just not used to relying on others..."
His grip on the axe handle tightened slightly. He knew how he looked, he understood how frail he seemed - how frail he could be. Forty-odd years... it was a hard thing to come down from. Aizawa had been right. There was a new reality that he had to accept and come to terms with.
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Prima Vista Part VII
[ previous ]
Rating: E (explicit; mdni)
Warnings: dramatics, gaslighting, pining pining pining, drinking, attempted drugging, blacking out, vomiting, Nile and Hitch hook up, did I mention pining, one Greek word (thank you again, @cynnyc .)
It’s nearly ten PM as you climb the steps to the PKA house. The brisk October air makes you pull your jacket tighter around yourself and move toward the door faster. You probably should’ve texted your target first, checked to see if he’s even here, but you’re not about to stand outside and wait for a reply, not when you can just knock and ask a living soul.
It’s Reiner who answers, looking extremely tired with dark circles under his eyes. You idly wonder if he and the other new kids are being kept awake as another stupid fucking hazing ritual, but you don’t really have the time for small talk.
“Erwin here?”
The blond nods and steps out of the way. “His room. Might already be asleep.”
Shrugging, you walk inside, mumbling, “Just gonna have to wake his ass up then.”
Which you do, climbing up to the third story after Reiner tells you which room he’s in now. You knock on the door a couple times and almost feel bad when Erwin answers, clearly rumpled in pajama pants and bedhead.
He squints at you, and you snort. “Sleep before ten? You some kinda nerd or somethin’?”
“What do you want?” He gruffs, voice a little scratchy.
You can see part of the room behind him, looks pretty similar to the one from last year. That had been the only time you’d really gotten a close look into his space, and it had not ended well. You hope this time will be different.
“I needed to talk to you about something.”
Erwin scrubs a hand down his face then rests his head against his doorframe. “I’ll take a wild guess and say this is about Mike.”
You push your lips out in a pout and respond, “Maybe.”
He lets you into his room, catches you off guard when he asks, “Door open or closed?”
“Depends. You gonna come onto me again?”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “I learned my lesson last time.”
“You can shut it then.”
Taking up the chair at his desk, you watch as Erwin just crawls back under his covers and fixes cerulean eyes on you.
“Why haven’t you been talking to him?”
Something in your stomach flips, eyes growing as you splutter, “I haven’t been talking to him? He hasn’t been talking to me!”
Erwin frowns. “What? He’s been bitching to me incessantly.”
“And, I’ve been bitching to Hitch incessantly.”
Groaning into his pillow, Erwin holds out his hand, and you hear a muffled command, “Give me your phone.”
You do without hesitation, rattle off the passcode then sit and wait as Erwin scrolls through what you assume to be your settings or contacts. The thought that you should be a little scared crosses your mind—you do have some compromising photos in an unlocked folder—but judging by Erwin’s current mood, he doesn’t seem interested in anything except sleeping.
“That motherfucker,” he grunts.
“What?”
“You blocked his number.”
“What?” This time is much louder and panicked. “No, I didn’t! I swear I didn’t.”
He tosses you the device back and gestures in a ‘see for yourself’ manner. “Someone did.”
Your blood begins to boil as you stare down at your short list of blocked contacts, Mike’s name right on top.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” You quickly tap to remedy the problem, hands beginning to shake. “I don’t even know how—”
“My money’s on the shitty boyfriend,” Erwin mumbles.
You want to text Mike, but you have no idea what to say. Sorry we haven’t talked in over a month. Zeke figured out my phone password and blocked your number haha. You doubt that would fly.
If you had just come to Erwin sooner, most of this could have been avoided. You don’t know if you’re more upset at Zeke or at yourself.
Zeke. Definitely Zeke. That is some wildly possessive behavior. That’s isolation. The idea makes you nauseous. This is just another instance of him showing what you believe to be his true self. Between all the fighting and grudges, you’re at your wit’s end. Just the other day, the two of you had gotten into yet another argument when you happened to get a glance at the Tinder icon in his app list.
“Why do you still have that?” You’d asked with a frown. You really hadn’t planned on it turning into an ordeal.
“Have what?”
“Tinder.”
“What are you talking about?”
Then, right in front of your eyes, he had deleted the app. You saw it, but that didn’t stop Zeke from looking at you with a straight face and telling you, “I think you’re just confused, babe.”
That’s when it turned into an ordeal. That’s when you got defensive and incredulous. That’s when he just kept telling you that you were wrong, that you were just seeing things, and after a good thirty minutes once you were nice and high strung, he actually had you halfway convinced.
Because he always sounds so sure of himself, always makes it so that his word is law. You had doubted yourself—you’re still doubting yourself.
“Jesus, I can’t believe this,” you breathe, leaning back in the rolling chair and staring up at the ceiling. You can believe it, actually, you just hadn’t expected him to sink that low. “What do I even say to Mike?”
Erwin finally pushes himself into a sitting position and stretches. Seems like he’s just resigning himself to being awake. “Whatever it is, you should probably talk it out in person.”
“Probably.”
“Might be a little difficult now, though.”
Heaving a sigh, you mutter, “Yeah, I assume he's pretty pissed at me.”
Erwin hums, but his voice comes out a little unsure when he says, “Well, that, but also…”
You're suddenly sitting straight up. “Also what?”
Making a face, the man across from you enlightens you to the fact that, “Mike is kind of seeing someone. I think.”
You blink at him, trying to process what he’s telling you. Mike is… With someone? You feel sick.
But, you shouldn’t because he’s allowed to branch out. You surely did, and you hurt him in the process.
“It, uh… It gets worse.”
Swallowing, you try to hide the lump in your throat when you rasp, “How?”
Don’t cry. Do not cry. You have no right to cry.
“I’m about ninety-nine percent positive it’s Zeke’s ex.”
Every muscle in your face suddenly relaxes, but it isn’t in a good way. Instead of frowning, your brow softens into its normal position. You release the tension in your jaw, the teeth that were just clenched falling away from each other as your lips part. Erwin moves in and out of focus as your gaze becomes blurry, hot tears gathering at your waterline, and now you don’t even try to stop them from falling.
Fucking Rhi. She had been nothing more than an annoyance before, a peppy little annoyance trying to grab your boyfriend’s attention. But, now… Now, you’re ready to fight. Parking lot brawl, throwing fists and pulling hair, and screeching—you want to destroy her.
“Oh.” You sniffle then wipe your nose with the back of your hand. “That’s good. I mean—” a quiet cough, “—that’s good for him. I’m glad.”
Erwin snorts. “No, you’re not,” his volume rises a bit. “So, don’t pretend like you are. God, why are you guys so bad at this?”
You let out a humorless laugh and shrug. “‘Cause I have shitty timing, I guess.” You bite your lip and look back to the ceiling, trying not to weep too openly, but your lungs are burning, preventing you from breathing, and your heart is bruising your ribcage, and you think your bones just might shatter inside of your chest.
There’s a rustling on the bed, and when you look back at Erwin, you find him laying down again but holding the blankets up in front of him.
“Come on.”
“W-what? Erwin, that is literally the last thing we—”
“I’m not trying to fuck,” he says, eyes heavy as he stares at you. “You need to relax, and I need to sleep, so just come on."
You consider for a while, looking from Erwin to the mattress. You’re really not that close, would barely even call him your friend, but you did come to him tonight. You had chosen to confide in him. He makes some pretty questionable decisions sometimes, but you still believe that ultimately he’s a good person.
“Fine, but put a shirt on.”
“Then, grab one. Second drawer. Make sure it’s soft.”
You roll your eyes but do as you're told, running your hands over a few t-shirts until you find one that he should be pleased enough with. He tugs it on then collapses back on the bed, and you kick your shoes off then slip out of your jacket and under the covers.
You’re facing him, trying to keep a few inches between yourself and his chest, but as you think about the position you’re in—why you’re in it, the tears start flowing freely again, and you’re holding back little whimpers, shoulders shaking at the effort. Erwin breathes in deeply then uses the arm he isn’t laying on to pull you to him, shushing you as he rubs the space between your shoulder blades with a warm hand.
“We’ll get it sorted out,” he promises, voice quiet as he starts to doze.
It’s not how you expected to end the night, but you suppose there are worse ways.
*
Mike learns a lot of information in a very short amount of time. Nile meets him outside of the fitness center to give him the scoop, trying to look casual as he walks, but Mike can tell he's nervous.
He starts by asking if Mike has talked to you at all recently, and no, he has not. So, Nile tells him that you broke things off with Zeke and apparently it got messy.
"Something about him being a manipulative bastard," Nile waves a hand.
"Doesn’t surprise me. Took her long enough."
You've been hanging around the Pike house again, sometimes by yourself and sometimes with Hitch—"Who's really fucking cute, by the way." Obviously Nile and Marie are in the 'off' portion of their relationship cycle. "And, you would know all this if you would just start coming around again. It's stupid to pay dues and not actually engage with the frat, dude."
"I've just been busy with school," Mike tells him. It's only a half lie. His senior courses are kind of kicking his ass, but he's also been busying himself with Rhi who is… tolerable.
"Whatever. Halloween party is in, like, a week. If you don't show up, I'm gonna be real pissed."
"I'll be there, Nile."
"Okay, then lemme prepare you for one more thing."
Mike stops walking and looks at the smaller man who inhales deeply then blows air out through his teeth.
"So, uh, she's hanging around again, right? And, you're not there, so it seems like she's sort of, uh, latched onto…" He makes a face, and Mike leans back.
"Don't fucking tell me."
Nile cringes. "Yeah. I don't think they're fucking or anything. I haven't heard them in his room like I used to hear the two of you."
"She goes into his room?" Mike has to flex his hand by his side, but the brick wall of the library they've stopped in front of is looking mighty nice. Break a few bones, bleed a little, it'll feel good.
"Yeah, but, like, they're nowhere near as close as you and her."
"How close we used to be. It's been so fucking long since we've even talked, dude. And, any time I try to catch her on campus, the dickbag is with her—"
"Well, at least you don't have to worry about that anymore."
"Yeah, now I just have to worry about her fucking my best friend. Fuck, she just—" Mike growls in his throat, contemplates turning to go back to the gym because he needs to get this energy out somehow. "She drives me fucking crazy."
"Yeah, I know, man. I just didn't want you to be surprised at the party when you see 'em all buddy-buddy."
"I'm gonna punch him," Mike states. "Just lay him out in front of everyone."
"Please don't," Nile sounds genuinely worried. "Maybe use the party as a way to, I don't know, talk to your girl? Like an adult?"
"Obviously not my girl, and I've been screwing around with Rhi anyway. Maybe it's just time we went our separate ways or whatever."
It physically hurts to even suggest, but he's trying to put on a brave face for his friend—act annoyed rather than fucking crushed, but god, he is aching. His stomach has opened up into nothing, his chest feels void of everything that was once inside, and he knows he's being dramatic, but fuck fuck fuck, first Zeke and now Erwin? What is it that Mike doesn't have? What can't he provide you with that they can? Just tell him, and he'll fucking fix it.
"Yeah, I think we both know that's not gonna happen. Plus, you do realize Rhi is probably just using you to make Zeke jealous."
"I'm not fucking stupid, Nile, of course I know that." But, Mike is really tired of his love life revolving around that asshole, like he has to wait for Zeke to call all the shots. "I'm using her as much as she's using me, so—"
"As a distraction?"
Mike lets his head loll to the side, peering down at Nile from the corner of his eyes. "What do you think?"
The other man gives him a light punch to the shoulder and once again suggests, "Talk things out. Just pull her aside at the party."
It's easier said than done. When Halloween rolls around, it's a little insane. It's too big and too loud with a flashing strobe that hurts Mike’s eyes. There are all sorts of costumes, making it hard to recognize anyone. The jungle juice is a mystery, one Mike doesn't plan on touching but that many people will. He has a feeling that more than a few party-goers are gonna end up sick, probably passing out in various locations of the house.
Mike has opted for an easy costume, the tacky tourist complete with his pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat, sunglasses, and a fanny pack. It's so awful, it actually made him laugh, but Rhi, clad in a spandex tiger suit, is not nearly as amused. She probably wanted him to go the sexy cop route or something equally as cringey, but Mike just doesn't have it in him tonight.
Nile is a shirtless cowboy, Hitch is a Catholic schoolgirl, Gelgar is Freddy Krueger with a pompadour, Reiner is a werewolf, the list goes on and on. Sexy, bloody nurses, superheroes, Harry Potter, and so on.
When his eyes land on you for the first time that night, Mike comes close to drooling his drink. Lola Bunny in her skimpy basketball uniform and a rabbit ear headband. Your face is painted, and you're carrying around one of those foam balls kids use to dunk into Fisher Price hoops, and he has no doubt the prop will be lost by the end of the party.
Mike thinks back to Spring Break, to you wincing at his movie choice then trying to sleep through it. You had woken up to him flipping through the photo album, then chose to finally open up to him.
So, why this costume? Why "torture" yourself like this?
And, speaking of torture, you're sticking to Erwin just like Nile said you would. The blond is in a tailored suit, his face painted like a skull. It's both classy and creepy, and Mike hates him for it. In fact, it calls for another drink.
Rhi finds him in the kitchen after making her rounds, taking up her former place on Mike's arm as he uses the counter to pop the lid off a fresh bottle. They watch the game of beer pong playing out in front of them, but Rhi doesn't seem content to just sit.
She has to stand on her tip-toes and shout into his ear, "Wanna walk around some?"
No. He really doesn't, but he can placate her, especially if it means getting laid later tonight.
They trek back to the main room, observing the debauchery taking place. People are grinding and stripping to Monster Mash. Several couples are spread out in the chairs or up against the wall getting pretty close to full on exhibitionism.
They stop to talk to "Officer" Marie for a while then move on to Nile and Hitch to whom Rhi spills everything she just heard from the busty redhead. They joke with Gelgar and his catch of the day, some of the pledges—Jean, Reiner, and Eren—who are just trying to survive, and then at last… you and Erwin.
Mike sees the way your chest rises with a deep breath, how your fingers tighten around the little basketball. Your eyes flit from Rhi to Mike, flashing when Rhi greets you.
Oh, you don't like her.
"Love the costume," she tells you. "Who are you supposed to be again?"
Mike chokes on his drink, and you suck your teeth before replying, "Lola Bunny. The Loony Toon."
"Oh, is that, like, Bugs Bunny's girlfriend?"
"Kind of?" You try.
Rhi looks to Erwin who visibly cringes when she asks, "Why aren't you dressed as Bugs then?"
Mike wants to turn around, to put as much distance between all of you as possible.
Erwin clears his throat. "Because that would be a couple's costume, and we're not…"
Mike knows his expression is skeptical, cold even, and when he settles it on you, you give him a little shake of your head that he doesn't really believe.
"Oh, alright," Rhi concedes only to chime, "'Cause I heard—"
"Wrong," Erwin cuts her off. "You heard wrong, Rhi." A hard, blue stare lands on Mike, unforgiving when he tells him, "I think it's time you two talked."
"I don't think that's really—"
"Oh, fuck," your swear gets everyone's attention, and Mike takes in the shock written all over your face then follows your line of sight to the entry way where Zeke god damn Jaeger is making his way through the crowd.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Erwin spits.
"You and Nile decided this should be an open party, dumbass," Mike reminds him with a roll of his eyes.
"Oh, so we're name-calling now? Jesus Mike, grow up. You're just assuming shit!" As he rants, Erwin takes hold of one of your arms and pulls you behind him, snatching the furry headband from you so the ears don't stick out.
For a split second, Mike thinks he's trying to protect you from him, but then he nods to bring Mike's attention to the approaching figure behind him, and Mike understands.
He turns his body to face Zeke who's walking over, fragmented by the strobe, his icy eyes piercing straight through his glasses. Mike, despite his anger toward you, feels the primal urge to protect you.
"The fuck do you want, Jaeger?"
"Woah, calm down, bud. Just looking for a brat—about yea high, spreads her legs for any athlete she comes in contact with. You guys seen her?"
Mike steps toward him, but he's stopped by a hand that fists in the back of his shirt.
"Ah, there she is," Zeke smirks, and Mike looks over his shoulder to see you now in front of Erwin with your fingers clutching the pink material across his back.
"He's not worth it, Mike."
Mike thinks he is, though. He feels like he keeps getting whiplash, going back and forth between who he wants to hit at any given moment because it seems to change by the second.
He's just been so incredibly frustrated for the past few months. Lacrosse doesn't help, and the gym doesn't help, and fucking Rhi doesn't help. Mike has just been stewing, letting everything fester during the radio silence between the two of you. He's mad at so many people including himself, and all he wants to do is shove his way out of this stupid fucking party and take off his stupid fucking fanny pack and be alone in his apartment under his dumb fairy lights.
He shrugs out of your grip, figures the best thing he can do right now is get away from all of you. Zeke stumbles when Mike shoulders into him forcefully. He's not even a little surprised when Rhi doesn't follow him, choosing to vie for Zeke's attention instead.
It doesn't matter. All that matters is that Mike gets another drink in him.
He tries not to watch the way the heated conversation turns out, the way you bow up to Zeke and Erwin has to once again put himself in between you and the other blond. He tries not to smile at the fire in your eyes, that blaze he's seen so many times (usually when you're annoyed at him), and yes, there's that pain again, barely overshadowing Mike's anger.
You yell something at Zeke. He yells back. Erwin feels the need to add his own opinion, but the music is too loud for Mike to be able to make any of it out. Whatever is shouted makes Zeke huff and walk away. Rhi prances after him, and Mike resigns himself to the fact that he probably will not be fucking her after this shit show. He could always find someone else, but that takes effort (not much, but still), and then they usually get clingy afterward, and he just can't be bothered with all that right now. Mike can't be bothered with anything right now.
So he drinks.
He keeps an eye on Zeke who doesn't actually leave the party, and he drinks. He stares at you from across the room, bunny ears back in place, and he drinks. Somewhere between Boom and Beer Pong, he loses the fanny pack, looks down at some point and finds that it's just no longer there. All he had in there was a lighter and a couple condoms, so he isn't too broken up about it, but he does wonder—
Mike isn't sure what makes him look over at the counter where all the different drinks are set out, but he does, and it's just in time to see Eren hunching over the bowl of jungle juice like some shady motherfucker, and when Mike makes his way over, world spinning just a little bit, he sees the younger Jaeger brother emptying a little plastic bag of green pills into the punch.
"What the fu—" Mike has him by the collar before he can even finish his own question, tosses the kid away from the counter so that he actually falls to the floor. It causes a few people to hop out of the way, their drinks sloshing and spilling on the tile. "What the fuck are you doing?"
Eren looks up at Mike with wide, panicked eyes, like he's scared and waiting for someone to save him.
"I—I don't know what you think you saw, man—"
"I know exactly what I saw, you little creep!"
Everyone in the kitchen is looking at the two of them as more people trickle in.
"What even was that? You trying to roofie the whole fucking party or something?"
"No!"
"Just one person, then? That one special girl," Mike hisses.
He walks back to the counter and grabs the large bowl of juice, carrying it over to Eren who's still on the ground. The kid covers his face just in time for Mike to empty the contents over his head, drenching him so that red drips from his hair and trickles down his arms.
"Drink up, bitch," Mike snarls before throwing the bowl so that it bounces off Eren's head.
Naturally, a bigger crowd has gathered, and Nile shoves his way through, shouting over the music, "What is happening?"
Mike leans over to yell in his ear, "Saw him pouring pills into the punch."
"Are you serious?"
Mike nods but steps away when Eren pushes himself off the wet floor and nearly throws himself at Nile.
"I didn't do it! I don't know what the fuck he's talking about!"
Nile arm-bars Mike when he tries to move toward the little twerp, lips pulling back from his teeth because it has been a shitty night. A shitty week. Shitty month. And, now his fury has shifted yet again.
"Did anyone else see it, Mike?" Nile asks.
"Probably not since everyone is fucked up—"
"Including you."
Mike looks over at his friend in genuine surprise because it's starting to sound like Nile doesn't believe him.
"Why the fuck would I lie about something like this?"
"Maybe because he's Zeke's brother," Nile suggests.
Mike is heated. He can feel the blood underneath his skin cooking his god damn insides, frying his brain so that all he can think about is throwing a punch or two (or twenty).
Jaw sliding, Mike shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath to steady himself, to stop his hands from shaking as he tries to figure out when his friends started looking at him as some unhinged freak.
"What are you doing—the fu—dude, stop!"
Opening his eyes again, Mike sees that Gelgar has inserted himself into the situation and has Eren pinned against the counter as he shoves his hands in every one of his pockets. He's growling something at the younger man, keeps shoving his face down against the linoleum any time Eren squirms, and after about a minute of people watching and gasping and making crude remarks about the position the two are in, Gelgar straightens up with a plastic bag identical to the one Mike saw Eren emptying into the jungle juice.
"It's just Adderall, I swear!"
Gelgar scoffs. "This is definitely not Adderall. Believe me, I'd know." He tosses the pills to Nile who takes a long look at them before glaring at Eren.
"Get the fuck out before I call the cops."
He should call them anyway, Mike thinks, but he understands Nile's hesitance. There's a lot going on at the party—underage drinking, party drugs in various rooms, etc. Eren wouldn't be the only one taken into custody if the police showed up.
Another voice rings out, asking the same question everyone else has, "What the hell is going on?" and Mike comes close to hurling the closest bottle at Zeke as he makes his way to his brother. "Why are you…" He gestures nebulously as his eyebrows pull together. Rhi is close behind him, and further still, you and Erwin are peeking into the kitchen.
"They think I drugged the jungle juice!" Eren looks at Zeke with puppy eyes that probably worked when he was a kid, might still work judging by the way the blond whirls around to face Mike and Nile.
"Have any proof, or are you just trying to—"
"Pipe down, Jaeger," Nile cuts him off, holding up the bag and explaining, "Mike saw him dropping these in the punch."
Zeke is silent for a few solid seconds before rounding on his brother again and grabbing him by the shirt right where Mike had previously held him, and everyone watches in rapt attention as he steers Eren through the crowd, shouting at him the entire time.
Having both of them leave is a relief, but Mike is a little disappointed that he didn't get to fight either of them. It would have been nice to feel a nose break under his fist, but he supposed it's better this way.
"Hey, thanks for catching that, dude," Nile says, slapping Mike's back.
It doesn't make him feel good. If anything, it pisses him off. Mike would understand if his friend had been skeptical of one of the pledges or second years making the accusation he had, but Nile is one of his best friends. They were inducted at the same time, were hazed side by side. Mike never would have thought Nile had such a low opinion of him, that he’d believe Mike’s little broken heart would cloud his judgement to the point of slandering someone without cause.
"Whatever," he shrugs before grabbing another drink.
He should just go back home. He isn't having a good time. He's angry at just about everyone he looks at. When Rhi decides he's worth her time again, Mike actually tells her to fuck off. He's lost the accessories to his costume, and he's about to lose his mind.
It's getting late. Mike isn't sure how late because as the night progresses, he gets steadily inebriated. He tries to avoid anyone and everyone in his fraternity, hanging out with people he knows from lacrosse or his classes instead. They play a few drinking games, take body shots off some sorority girls (or maybe it's the same one, he can't tell anymore). The music becomes bearable, and the strobe light stops hurting his head, and eventually, Mike just… forgets.
He forgets about Nile's lack of faith. He forgets about the fuckhead Jaeger brothers. He forgets about you and Erwin walking around and laughing together oh, ha ha we're so close now. He is finally spared from all of his negative thoughts.
Mostly because somewhere between shot number seven and beer number who knows what, Mike pukes into a plant (maybe?) and blacks out.
*
"God dammit. Erwin," you tug on his jacket sleeve and point to the corner that is home to a fake ficus that Mike is currently throwing up in.
Erwin groans, "Oh, Jesus Christ," and starts making his way over with you hot on his heels.
A few people are making faces as they glance at Mike, moving away as he coughs, straightens, then bends over again.
"Mike, come on, buddy," Erwin pats his back, waiting for Mike to pause in his retching so that he can duck under his arm and support him. "Gotta get you to a bathroom."
"No bath," Mike snorts. "No green there, no…"
You take a place on his other side, not that you can help much in getting him down the hall and in one of the downstairs restrooms, but you at least support his other arm and steer him in the right direction.
"Why is he talking about green?" Erwin grumbles as you both lower Mike to the tiled floor in front of the toilet where he promptly pukes again.
"The leaves maybe? I don't know, dude. Just…" You cringe as you notice the way Mike's shaggy hair hangs down into the toilet bowl, subject to all kinds of splash back. "Do you have a hair tie on you?"
"Literally why in the fuck would I have a hair tie on me?" Erwin asks incredulously, and you laugh because a couple weeks ago, he never would have used that word in this context since it's wrong, but the more you spend time with him, the more he picks up on your vernacular, and that really doesn't matter right now because—
"Water," Mike croaks, voice echoing off the ceramic.
"I don't think you'll be able to drink any right this second, man," Erwin tells him, squatting beside him.
Mike shakes his head. "Wanna feel—feel water. Cold."
"He sounds like a fucking caveman," you snicker.
You're really just trying to stay calm, masking the sick feeling in your stomach with amusement, but you've been watching Mike all night as he downed beer after beer, mixing various liquors as he took shots and licked salt off some chick's stomach. You figured he would get sick, but there wasn't really much you could do about it. He had made it pretty clear he isn’t interested in speaking to you. Still, you had purposely remained mostly sober just in case something like this happened (also because you make bad decisions when you get fucked up at frat parties).
"Yeah, he definitely won't remember any of this."
"Waterrr," Mike tries again, and you look at the way his arm is dangling over the side of the tub, the faucet on the opposite side, and glance at Erwin at a loss.
He shrugs, eyes darting around until he sees the plastic cup upside down on the shower rack. He grabs it, turns the water on and fills the cup, then dumps it over Mike's hand.
Mike groans, slowly wriggles his fingers under the stream, and drawls, "Thaaaank."
You shake your head and motion for the cup, talk loud enough to be heard over the faucet, "I can handle this. You go back outside."
"What? No."
"There's no reason both of us have to be in here. He's just gonna puke his guts out for a few hours and then pass out."
Erwin doesn't seem sold on the idea.
"Come on. You've gotta go back. You're vice president or whatever."
"So?"
"Erwin."
He stares at you for a while then deflates. "Fine. Do you have your phone on you?"
"Always." You gesture to the elastic waistband of your shorts, phone pressed to your hip as it hangs on the inside of the material.
"Text me if you need help, alright?"
"You got it, boss."
He leaves just in time for Mike to violently retch into the toilet, one hand clutching the bowl as his spine curves. You fill the cup back up, pour it over his hand once again, and repeat the action over… and over… and over.
His face and hair are gonna be a mess, probably his shirt too which is actually a blessing because you'll finally have a legitimate reason to burn it. Pepto Bismol pink and sketched palm trees stare at you as you sit on the edge of the tub, and all you can think of is the first time you saw Mike wearing the terrible shirt, how that had ended up, how you left with it the following morning.
How had the two of you gone from that to this? Sure, you weren't super fond of him at the beginning of it all, but he grew on you. A lot. He's your best fucking friend. Through the last couple months, through this weird fight you're having, he is your best friend. It's why you're here right now taking care of his drunk ass.
It'll pass. This phase will pass, and you'll make up, and you'll get your chance to be honest with him, to tell him how you feel about him. It may have taken you a little too long to arrive at your destination, so to speak, but better late than never. Soon, you'll both be able to look back on this and laugh.
People knock on the door here and there, and you scream at them to go away, eventually getting tired of it and just clicking the lock into place.
Any time you stop pouring water over his hand, Mike whines and attempts to say something, choppy words that don't make a ton of sense. You wonder if you need to call an ambulance, look for the signs of alcohol poisoning, but he doesn't feel cold, his breathing is even between bouts of vomiting, and his arms aren't curling in that tell-tale way.
More than likely, he just made himself sick. He knows better, too. He's been partying for a long enough time to be well aware of the mixing rules. Beer before liquor and all that shit. He may have just not cared tonight, though. From what Erwin has told you, Mike has just been in a generally bad mood for a while now (and Erwin has not tried to be subtle about why). He's barely around the Pike house anymore, he keeps getting called for personal fouls in lacrosse, and he's sleeping with Rhi which is nobody's business but is also strange considering her history—some kind of mutualistic symbiotic relationship that nobody is a real fan of.
Not my circus, not my monkeys, you think to yourself, emptying another cup from your place on the floor now. The ceramic was starting to hurt your ass, and you know your arm will probably be a little sore tomorrow, or later today since it's nearing three.
Fatigue is beginning to set in, and you know Mike is exhausted because he keeps dozing off on the toilet seat so that you have to nudge him back awake. Until he can speak in mostly coherent sentences, he's not allowed to sleep.
Sitting in the bathroom gives you ample amount of time to think. You go over some mental flashcards for a while, notes you took with the help of Mike's magic textbook. Then you think about going to your mom's for Thanksgiving and how much you aren't looking forward to it. Then you think about Zeke showing up only to have to escort his shady brother from the house. God, you had not been happy to see him. You'd been a little afraid, if you're being honest.
After figuring out that he had, in fact, blocked Mike's number on your phone, you had stomped into his apartment and initiated a screaming match. You got loud, he got louder, called you a stupid bitch and punched a hole in the drywall. You had decided that was a pretty good time to leave, both the apartment and the relationship. He's been lurking on campus around your most frequented spots—the science building, the library, but you've been doing a good job of camouflaging yourself in groups of other students. Even if he can see you, he can't do much about it.
You've thought about reporting him to campus police, but you know nothing will come of it. The golden boy can do no wrong. It's why you've been spending so much time at the PKA house again. You know most of them have your back, and you are absolutely not above asking any of them to walk somewhere with you to fend off your angry ex.
You can't wrap your head around what his fucking deal is. Surely he didn't treat Rhi like this after they split. There's no way she would still be so infatuated with him if he had. Is it just because you're the one who dumped him? He had to have seen it coming once you started putting the pieces together, the way he constantly tried to make you feel guilty, isolating you from your friends, invading the privacy of your phone to not only block Mike but also to turn your fucking location on so he could track you (you had found that out after that first trip back to the frat house to talk with Erwin. It had not been pretty).
It's hard to believe you put up with it for as long as you did. It was only five months, but that's still five months too long.
Mike is quiet for several minutes, and you sigh when you see that his eyes are closed once again. He makes a noise of displeasure when you use your foot to gently shake him, grumbling, "Sto-o-op."
"Nope. Gotta stay awake, Miche. Can't have you fallin' into a coma or something'."
"Nooo. No Miche."
"Yes, Miche," you laugh.
He scrunches his face up, shakes his head, but the motion seems to make him sick again.
When he finishes gagging into the toilet, he lets out a deep, "Gu-uuh," then sniffs. "No Miche. Jus' she—she—...Jus' her."
You can figure out the rest, but you can't decide if you want to smile or cry. Only you can call him that. Well, you and his mom. You miss her. And his dad. And Scout. You hope to see them again.
"Okay. Just Mike then."
He hums in confirmation then shakes his hand in the tub so that you'll douse it once again.
"You're a needy drunk, you know that?"
Mike doesn't respond to that, just takes a few deep breaths as his eyes close yet again.
"Sleep now," he mumbles.
"No, no sleep now."
"Sleep now."
"Oh my fucking god."
His mouth drops open a little, and the first thing you think to do is splash him in the face with the cup of water.
He spits and splutters but doesn't shift much, still wrapped around the toilet. You try not to look inside when you stand and reach to flush what's already gathered, trying to shield some of Mike's face from any flying droplets. Then you wash your hands and sit back down. You figure you'll be here for at least another couple of hours. The sun will be coming up soon. Thank god it's a Saturday.
Both Erwin and Nile knock on the door for an update, and you yell that you're okay. Mike isn't throwing up as often, and when he does, nothing is coming up anymore. He's gonna be in a world of pain when he returns to his normal self.
So fucking stupid. He's so fucking stupid.
He mutters nonsense on and off. Sometimes you can translate what he's trying to say, but other times not so much.
"President… dumb boyyy."
"Hy-poc-risy an' jealous… Hypocrite… I…"
"Hand… wanna hold…" but when you grab it, he just gurgles, "Waterrr."
There's really no pleasing him.
"Why-y-y… dick… Erwin."
"Volcano books… n' space jam… come an' sam… an'... to the jam."
You laugh too loudly, and Mike cringes at the noise, but the corner of his mouth still lifts. You don't think he knows what he's doing or saying yet—isn't downloading any new memories—it doesn't matter because you will remember this for the both of you.
"You're fucking ridiculous."
Mike pushes himself back from the toilet to sit against the wall, hissing and clumsily rubbing his chest. His shirt is wet and disgusting, and he must know on some level because he says, "Shower," and starts pulling himself over the tub.
"Jesus Christ, Mike."
He's too tall, dangling an arm and a leg over the side and sinking lower.
"Water, pleeeease."
He apparently isn't aware of the faucet that is still on. Whoever has to pay these bills… You feel sorry for them.
"No, dude. I am not letting you drown."
Mike fucking giggles, "Lifeguard," then tries to take his shirt off. He doesn't have the motor skills to handle buttons and looks to be confused by them anyway, so his next solution is to just rip the material down the middle.
"Yeah, okay, I guess that works."
The showerhead is turned on, and you sit on the edge of the tub again, shivering when the cool spray blows toward you while keeping an eye on Mike. Reaching over, you turn the temperature up a little, knowing that the alcohol has dropped his body temperature some. You're almost tempted to slide under the water with him, but there's no room, and you're not about to just make yourself comfortable on top of him.
So, you just sit and stare and think about how tired you are. Physically and mentally and spiritually tired. You just need some time to not exist—just a few days. It feels like this semester has been nothing but drama so far, and it is exhausting. Maybe that's why Mike did this to himself. Maybe he just needed to not exist.
He starts to sit up a little in the tub, but his hand falters and sends him sliding back down. "Fuck."
Not caring about getting wet at this point, you simply stand up between his spread legs, the shower drenching you immediately, and grab his hands to tug him upright.
"ευχαριστώ."
"Come again?"
"Means thanks," he mumbles, slumping forward.
You think of his family again, how he and his mother had just fallen into Greek as soon as you'd stepped into the house, leaving you surprised and impressed and warm in several different ways.
Squatting, you tilt your head to catch his half-lidded gaze.
"You back with me yet?" It's been nearly four hours—Fuck, why is there music playing still—but he might need more time.
"Dunno."
"Can you tell who I am?"
Mike does his best to roll his eyes. "'m drunk, not a amnes—amnesic—"
"Amnesiac," you supply with a smirk. Smartass.
"That," he nods, pointing at you with a finger gun.
He can actually understand you now, so that's good, don't have to worry about him dying anymore since he's making progress.
Opening his mouth, Mike catches some water in it, swishes and spits. You expect him to tell you that you can leave. He can take care of himself, doesn't want to see you, all manner of hurtful things he has every reason to feel.
Instead, he blinks at you, extends his arms, and makes grabby hands.
"Can I help you?"
He doesn't say anything, just keeps reaching for you. He could grab you without issue. His fingers are already brushing your knees, but he either doesn't notice or wants to wait for you.
"Mike, I can't get any closer," you laugh.
Switching tactics, he pats his chest.
"Oh, no. I am but about to put myself in the line of vom just 'cause you wanna cuddle or some shit."
Truthfully, you would also like to cuddle, to feel Mike's body against yours again, trace your fingers over his skin and listen to his heartbeat, but…
Not like this.
"Please. No more vom. Promise."
"I don't think you're in a state to make promises like that."
He says your name followed by one more, "Please," and you give in, letting out a long breath and grunting as you find a way to lay between his legs with your head on the lower part of his sternum. You're curled a little awkwardly, one foot up against the ceramic while the other is curled beneath you. It is not by any means a comfortable position, but it's what Mike wants.
A few months ago, laying like this would inevitably lead to other things. Talking and joking would lead to giggling, maybe some well aimed prods to your ribs. You would bite in retaliation, his shoulder or, if the angle was right, his nipple, until he pulled you up further to sit in his lap, hot mouth finding yours, and so on and so forth.
This is different on every possible level. Neither of you are speaking. Your hands are unmoving on each other's bodies. There's no heat save for the water that's pouring down on both of you, plastering your silky costume to your skin.
Still, it's enough to lull you into a drowsy state, the ache in your eyes urging you to close them, but as soon as you do, Mike speaks.
"'m mad at you."
Your stomach drops. His words don't come as a surprise, but they still sting.
"I know," you sigh. "I'm mad at me too."
Your head moves with his chest, a gentle up and down that could—and has—put you to sleep.
"Still love you."
You bite your lip, fingers lightly digging into Mike's warm skin as you remind yourself that he's drunk, and he hates you, and he probably won't remember any of this when he wakes up anyway. There's no reason to get emotional over it. No reason.
"I love you too, Miche."
Silence closes in around you once more. You drift in and out for about half an hour until a loud knock jolts you awake.
You scramble off of Mike and hop to the door, leaving puddles and drops behind you. Both Nile and Erwin look panicked in the hallway, the shorter man nearly shouting, "Is he fucking dead in there?"
"Not deeeead," Mike calls from the tub.
Erwin peers over your shoulder at him, then at you, then takes on a disappointed expression. "You didn't. Come on, he's so drunk."
"What do you—" You frown as you piece together his implication, then squawk and shove Erwin with two wet hands. "I didn't fuck him, you perv! What is wrong with you?"
He chuckles and bats away your hands. "I never know with you two! You can't blame me!"
"You're disgusting."
"Look who's talking. Have you seen yourself in the mirror?" Erwin raises his eyebrows. "Less bunny and more… I don't know, ghoul?"
God, you had completely forgotten about the face paint.
"Shut up, yours isn't much better." His black and white paint is smeared in several places like someone ran their fingers through it. The collar of his shirt is stained, and his hair is tousled. You can't tell if it's the result of getting frisky or falling asleep.
"Stop flirting in front of meeee," Mike whines loudly, sitting up and pushing the shower knob a little too hard to shut the water off.
"We're not—" You and Erwin start at the same time.
Nile interrupts with a drawn out, unconvinced little note and informs both of you, "You guys get a little flirty sometimes. Sorry to break it to you."
You frown at the blond and he frowns back, then you both frown at Nile who shrugs. "I'm just saying. There's a reason people are thinking things."
It's not important, and you'd rather not dwell on it because you know the truth, and Erwin knows the truth, and Mike will if he'll just fucking listen, but he's fucked up right now, so that's a problem for another day.
"Whatever, we'll work on it, but for now…" You watch as Mike tries and fails to pull himself out of the tub.
"He looks like the girl from The Ring," Erwin snorts.
"Yeah, if she was giant. And, a guy," you add.
Wet hair is hanging over Mike's eyes, still sopping wet and dripping. He's all awkward angles as he hoists himself up, kicking a leg over and swearing.
"We should probably help him," Nile says, fighting his own smile.
"Probably."
Between the three of you, you manage to transport Mike from the bathroom to Erwin's room on the third fucking floor which is no easy feat. Nile waits for his friend to be dumped onto the mattress, then announces that Hitch is waiting for him to come back to bed. You don't know how long that will last, but your friend falling into the same frat boy trap you did is mildly hilarious.
It leaves you and Erwin to make Mike comfortable. You wrap his head in a towel you found poking out of the hamper, murmur, "Hope this doesn't have anything gross on it," to which Erwin responds with an unamused look.
You peel the ruined, tacky shirt from Mike’s shoulders and toss it into a corner but you let Erwin take care of the rest. You've seen everything Mike has to offer, but that doesn't stop you from feeling weird about seeing his dick when he can't really stop you. So, like Mike did last year when he spilled water on your shirt, you turn your back to allow him some privacy.
There's some rustling and grunting, but when Erwin tells you it's safe, you look to find Mike in a pair of gym shorts, hair still wrapped, looking more disgruntled than you've ever seen him.
"'m still wet."
"You sure are, big guy," Erwin agrees, slowly guiding him to lay down on his side and explaining, "You need to sleep like this, alright? Otherwise you might choke and die."
"Erwin!" You throw your hands up in the air. "Why would you even—?"
"Know how it works, dumb… butt."
"Oh, dumb butt. That's a good one," Erwin grins. "Very creative."
"Don't panotrize me!"
You have to cover your mouth to keep from cackling, and Erwin shakes his head, corrects, "Patronize, Mike. Patronize."
"That's what I said!"
It takes a while to get him relaxed again. Apparently, Mike's favorite thing to do while drunk is run his mouth to Erwin, so while he's busy dealing with that, you raid Erwin's closet for a shirt and then his dresser for boxers. Once you are mostly dry, you snatch the towel from Mike's hair to wipe your face and toss it away, then step up onto the bed near the pillows, urging Mike to shift so that you can sit against the headboard.
He immediately rests his stubbled cheek on one of your thighs, then wraps both arms around the other, his fingers melting into the fat just below your ass as he grunts, "Mine."
"All yours, buddy," Erwin assures with a grin before glancing at you. "I'm gonna pass out in the chair—" he gestures to the one in the corner of the room, "—if you need me for anything, just wake me up, okay?"
"Yeah, thanks." Then, "Hey, Erwin?" He hums in response. "Don't tell him about tonight, like, me staying with him."
"Why?"
"I don't want him to stress out about what he may have said or done. 'Cause I know he will."
"Whatever you say," Erwin shrugs, collapsing in the chair without even changing or washing his face. All three of you are gonna look like characters from a horror movie whenever you wake up, and the thought makes you smirk as you card your fingers through Mike's damp hair.
It's getting longer. He could probably put it up if he wanted to. He's been letting his beard grow a little too. You aren't sure if it's laziness or just trying a slightly different look, but whatever the case, it's hot.
He keeps your leg clutched tightly to him like some kind of stuffed animal until he drifts off to sleep. It's nearing five, and you know you probably won't get any quality rest while you're here, so you figure you'll just doze for a while until you can safely extract yourself from Mike's grip. He probably won't appreciate waking up like this anyway. No matter what he's said to you and Erwin—declarations and staked claims—it'll all be worthless in just a few hours.
A symphony of snores plays through the room, Erwin splayed out in his chair like he's passed out in a cheap Vegas hotel while Mike drools on your thigh, and if it was anyone else, you'd be disgusted and shove him away, but since it’s Mike, it’s weirdly endearing. He can slobber on you all he wants, it won’t bother you in the slightest.
Eventually, the sun shining through the window becomes too bright for you to even fall into a light sleep, so just as you planned, you gently untangle yourself from Mike, pausing when he grunts and frowns, but when he doesn’t stir any more than that, you manage to slip out of the bed.
Grabbing your phone and costume, still a little wet and cold because of it, you leave as quietly as you can. Your shoes are still in the downstairs bathroom along with Mike’s shirt, and you have a legitimate mental debate over whether you really should just toss it, but as much as you hate it, you decide against it.
You have to step over several bodies to get to the front door, more than usual which is concerning since the punch Eren spiked was thrown out (or really, thrown all over him), but you’re able to make it out without tripping.
The drive to your dorm feels too long, sun beaming right into your itchy eyes the entire way. You nearly cry in relief when you finally fall onto your mattress, already well aware that most, if not all, of your day will be spent under the covers. You’re more than fine with it, allowing yourself to just not exist for several hours exactly how you wanted to.
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ok you said your requests were open, so can you do a bit of post-mission hurt/comfort with wanda? maybe r accidentally got hurt bc of a bad call on wanda's part, so there's a bit of guilt-fueled angst too?? bc i've had this idea for ages and i trust you with it bc i have zero writing skills. i might also blow up ur inbox, so sorry in advance - rust anon
Bad Call
Wanda Maximoff x gn!reader
Anon, please do not in any way shape or form feel bad for blowing up my inbox. I love getting requests! You didn’t specify pronouns so I went with gender neutral ones just to be safe! Thank you for your request Angel, I hope you enjoy ☺️
Warnings: violence, injuries, angst, medicinal pain killers, blood
“This is not what I expected when you said you wanted to spice up date night!” You yelled, kicking through another door as Wanda took care of the herd of shooters behind you.
“It’s not exactly what I had in mind either!” Wanda replied, her hands moving quickly to incapacitate the shooters while you searched for a way out and your two missing colleagues.
“If this is your way of breaking up with me then message received, loud and clear!” You called over your shoulder. Wanda only laughed, continuing to work through your assailants.
It was only early days between you both, probably too early to joke about breaking up but you and Wanda weren’t entirely conventional.
The lack of noise over the com unit was making you worried and you kicked through another door particularly roughly.
This was supposed to be a quick mission. Getting in and getting out of the compound in no time which wasn’t working out.
Your partner Hayley and Clint had gone dark almost thirty minutes ago. It worried both you and Wanda because according to all intel you had received, you’d both taken the corridor that was suppose to prove difficult.
You and Hayley had been partners almost six years and never took a mission without the other if it could be helped.
The only time it had happened was when you’d broken your wrist several months ago and she’s gotten roped into working with Clint. He now insisted on working with Hayley whenever the Avengers and Shield Agents came together.
You came hand in hand with Hayley which had eventually led to you meeting Wanda. It was the best thing that had ever happened to you and you’d bought Hayley three bottles of her favorite Irish whiskey to make up for it.
Another set of doors and Wanda brought the ceiling down in a controlled way, blocking off the agents the other side of the door. It gave you a minute to reload and catch your breath.
“I don’t want to break up with you. I do want to reschedule our date tonight though. I don’t think I’m going to make it.” She told you earnestly and you laughed.
“Tomorrow night, eight?” You asked, loading your gun and raising your eyebrows.
“Eight.” She agreed and you both were off, sprinting down the corridor that should lead you to where Clint and Hayley had disappeared from.
Atleast, one of the dividing corridors would do that.
You shared a look with Wanda and she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply as she attempted to listen out for either Clint or Hayley. She opened her eyes on the exhale, shaking her head.
“We should split up.” She told you and you winced before nodding. It was the only way to go about things.
“If you can’t hear them then they’re too far away. By the time we both get down a corridor and figure out it’s the wrong one we might be too late.” You agreed.
“I’ll call Steve, he isn’t more than twenty minutes out.” She told you and you nodded, holding your hand out, fist clenched.
“You’re a child.” She told you fondly and you both shook your fist three times. You pulled rock and she pulled paper. You realised a second too late she could read your mind. “I’ll go right.”
“Perfect. See you soon.” You ducked in for a quick kiss before taking off at a run without looking back.
///
You weren’t sure wether it was good or bad that the corridor you’d gotten lumped with had been abandoned. There was no sign of life in any of the rooms you passed and the feeling of being watched made you itch between your shoulder blades.
You had your gun slightly raised in your grip and you were listening closely for a sound that wasn’t your own footfalls. It had been a noise behind you that distracted you. An errant agent that had been hiding in an office You had bypassed, deeming it clear. Not clear enough.
Three gunshots later you were running again, your left leg screaming in protest and your right arm ached so bad you had to hold your gun in your left.
You didn’t see the wire. It tripped you up, sending you sprawling. You used the momentum, scrabbling forward across the linoleum flooring to get as far away as possible.
The explosion blasted you against the wall and your last thought was that you’d wake in time for your date.
///
You woke up slowly, well aware someone was talking but you hoped they weren’t talking to you, you were too tired to answer. Your eyes opened and you blinked away the flashing red lights. You were in someone’s arms and they were yelling.
Your leg hurt but not the one you had been shot in which was not good. Your head was thumping and you never got to figure out who was yelling because the darkness overtook you and you succumbed to the numbness again.
When you woke next it was to the beeping rhythm of what could only be a heart monitor. It had to be the most annoying sound in the universe. You’d bet your life.
You were pleasantly buzzed and in no pain which meant you were on the good stuff. Dr. Cho was a goddess.
“Hey sleepy head.” Hayley chuckled when your eyes fluttered open. “Think you slept long enough?”
“Wha’ time ‘s it?” You slurred and she laughed at you before lifting her watch to her face and dropping it again.
“Almost three in the afternoon.” She told you, petting your hair fondly. “Gave us quite a scare.”
“Gonna make date night.” You sighed happily, reaching a shaky hand out for a cup of water by your bedside. Hayley helped you sit up and take a sip.
“Date night was yesterday. You’ve been out for two days.” Hayley told you. Now that you were awake you had a niggling awareness of something with your right leg. You pulled the blanket back and found a bright red cast with Hayley’s signature already scrawled across it next to Clint’s.
“Damn.” You whispered. Your other leg was heavily bandaged too and your right arm was well wrapped up. “Where’s Wanda?”
“Probably our hovering in the corridor trying to convince Cho to check your vitals for the eighteenth time.” Hayley sighed. “She hasn’t been in since you got back. She’s in a mood.”
“Oh.” You mumbled, looking to the door and back to Hayley. “I’m going to be okay though, right?”
“No.” She said solemnly. “You’re going to be that ugly forever.”
“Fuck off.” You laughed, smacking her hand away when she poked your cheek. “Why won’t she come in?”
“Thinks it’s her fault. Apparently she cheated on Rock, Paper, Scissors or something along those lines?” Hayley said and then furrowed her eyebrows. “What sort of dumbass plays Rock, Paper, Scisssors with someone who can read minds?”
“The same dumbass that got shot in one leg and broke the other.” You groaned, inhaling deeply as the niggling awareness became a subtle ache.
“You’ll never learn.” Hayley sighed, pressing your call button and almost immediately a nurse bustled in, checking your charts and your monitors. “She’s sore.”
“‘m not.” You insisted childishly and Hayley only raised her eyebrow. “Only a little.”
“Time to go back to sleep.” The nurse told you, fiddling with the IV in the back of your hand. “Sweet dreams, darlin’.”
When you woke again Clint was by your bedside, chewing loudly on chips and watching something on his phone.
“Tell Wanda if she doesn’t get over her one-woman pity party then I’m gonna drag myself out of this bed and down to her apartment.” You told Clint, teeth gritted against the onslaught of pain your wounds brought.
“You want some painkillers?” He asked, hand paused between the bag of chips and his mouth.
“I want my girlfriend.” You grunted, your left hand raising to your right bicep where you’d been shot. “Now.”
“On it.” Clint scrambled from the chair and out the door just as a nurse bustled in looking all business.
“Some more painkillers.” She told you softly, barely giving you a chance before she was opening the IV line again and offering you the cool relief of medicine.
The door opened and you reached your uninjured hand out to Wanda. You had no idea if she took it or not. You had already been pulled under by the meds.
///
“If I get knocked out one more time I’m going to scream.” Wanda was sitting in a chair near your bed but too far away to touch. “How long has it been?”
“Four days.” Wanda looked dreadful. The bags under her eyes were a Deep Purple and her cheeks appeared gaunt as if she hadn’t been eating or resting. “Are you in pain?”
“No.” You told her evenly. “Have you slept in four days?”
“No.” At least she was honest. “Haven’t slept either.”
You paused in opening your mouth to ask the question she had just answered. “Why’s that?”
“Been waiting for you to wake up and tell me it’s over.” She admitted and you scrunched your nose up as you readjusted yourself. “I shouldn’t have cheated.”
“I shouldn’t have played guessing games with a telepath. Neither of us had anything to do with my injuries.” You told her. “That’s down to those motherfuc-“
“I heard your thoughts, you wanted right so I took it.” She admitted in a rush like you were going to lash out at her. “I chose it because I didn’t want you to win.”
“Wanda.” You sighed. “What happened was just bad luck. I lived to tell the tale and now I’ll have some epic scars to show off.”
“You’ll attract all the ladies.” Wanda agreed, her hand reaching out to hover over trout right bicep when you were heavily bandaged.
“I only want the one. But she’s busy throwing a pity party despite the fact she didn’t even get shot.” You teased and she rolled her eyes, scooting her chair closer. “I don’t blame you.”
“You should. I got you shot.” She whispered, her finger tracing down your arm to the palm of your hand. You liked your fingers and held on tight, smiling through the ache in your body.
“I missed date night. Now we’re even.” You told her, trying to lift some of the tension weighing her shoulders down. “Wanda, come on.”
“There was so much blood when I found you.” She whispered. “I thought I’d killed you.”
“Hard to kill a bad thing.” You told her with a grin, tightening your grip on her hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” She asked shakily.
“I promise. Now crawl in here beside me and get some sleep.” You shuffled to the side, wincing but persevering until you made room for her in the bed.
She chastised you and shook her head, refusing. You brought your free hand up to your bullet wound, finger poised over the bandage warningly. “I will literally dig my finger into my flesh if you don’t.”
“Jesus, fine!” Wanda clambered in next to you, avoiding all your wires and monitors. “You’re a brat.”
“You know it baby.” You teased, shuffling closer and pecking her lips quickly. “Now got to sleep before my nurse comes in and makes you move.”
#rust anon#mcu#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#wanda maximoff#Wanda Maximoff blurb#wanda maximoff drabble#wanda maximoff reader insert#Wanda Maximoff x gn!reader
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More Fogg/Boldwood perhaps?
Phileas decides to join William during a little sheep herding and they find themselves far enough away from the manor to be alone and… talk.
Oooh, finally, an excuse for them to just... freaking talk!
Court already, you losers!
On with the fic!
--
"You really didn't have to come along, I know it's not really your cup of tea." William spoke as he and Phileas walked through a field, where a group of his sheep were about, grazing. "But I do greatly appreciate the company."
"It's no trouble at all, really." Phileas replied, looking a bit winded, but was doing fine. "I've been here long enough to get used to some of this farming business."
"Well," William chuckled, "you seem to have a good hand with the monetary side of things, rather than the actual labor."
"I told you, I've better with numbers than I am with manual work." Phileas smiled before they came to a stone wall and each took a seat on it, watching over the sheep as they went about their business. A sheepdog was helping to keep an eye on them as well, and it was a lovely, quiet day.
He missed doing things like this, it's been ages.
But William didn't regret being kept inside this time around, he had Phileas at his side, and he wouldn't change that.
Still, it seemed that the topic of Phileas staying around the estate was on his mind, as were other things tied to the man who sat next to him. There was much to discuss, William knew this, since things between himself and Phileas had clearly changed.
In a positive way, of course. But everyone else seemed to have noticed these changes, had talked to them about them, but never had Phileas and William had a moment alone where they themselves could talk! But now? Now could be the right moment to do so.
"Phileas, might I have a word with you?" He asked and the taller man turned his attention from the sheep to him.
"Yes?" He asked, brown eyes wide.
"Phileas, these past few weeks, I am sure you have taken notice that things are not quite what they were before we came to the mutual conclusion that we have grown closer to one another."
"Of course."
"But we haven't had the chance to discuss these things, and I feel like we should, now that we finally have a moment alone."
Phileas swallowed, nodding his head. "Yes, I do believe we should. But... what do we do? What do we say?"
"I'm not sure, I've never been in a situation where my infatuation was towards another man before. And my last attempts at courting didn't exactly go well, though I was able to gain a very good friendship from those dreadful attempts."
Again, Phileas nodded. "I am in a similar situation, I've never taken much interest in men. Or, at least, never acted upon any interests that I can think of. And... I was in love with Estella for nearly thirty years, it's rather hard to get back into the scene, you know? Especially for someone of my age."
"You're still in good health and spirit for your age."
"Thank you, William, as are you. But... we do also have the issue of what a relationship between the two of us could mean. It isn't exactly smiled upon by most people, in fact, we could get locked away, for a very long time."
"It is a risk I'm willing to take." William replied, honestly. "I wish to court you, Phileas. I wish to give you companionship and company that you have not had in so long, nor have I."
The taller man stared at him, his cheeks pink in color, then he looked away, down at his hands in his lap. "You are playing a dangerous game here, William. We both are."
"Are you willing to keep playing it with me?" William asked, holding out a hand.
Phileas glanced at his hand, seeming hesitant, but only for a moment. He took the hand in his own, then looked at William. "Yes, I am."
--
No kissing, too early for that, unless if they have an indirect kiss of some kind. They seem like the sorts to try and be proper about this, even if William was a bit odd with his approaches towards Bathsheba. With Phileas, he seems the sort that likes courting (or being courted).
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Alex looked him over as they parted, his eyes warm rimmed in red. He pushed out a quiet laugh. "Who needs a wedding?" He asked him, but the sentiment was shared. If he could marry him, he would. There was another life they could've had, where Rabbit never ended up out in those woods, and the only thing stopping them from making it official was politics. Not blood on their hands, or a thousand shared secrets, or the scar on Rabbit's chest. But he didn't need official. He just needed Rabbit alive and right next to him.
His gaze softened, turning sad as Rabbit pressed his palm to his cheek. Brushing his thumb over his skin, Alex shook his head. "Don't thank me," he told him quietly. It made his chest ache so deeply that it burned. Alex lifted his other hand, taking Rabbit's face between them both. He peered at him with furrowed brows, tracing over every new little line or freckle. Two years apart. Not even, really. It'd been a whole lifetime apart. "You don't need to, bunny. I..." His breath shook when he inhaled again. "I wish I'd found you sooner. I've been camping in those woods my whole life.."
Less frequently before he'd moved in a few years ago, but he'd visited, all the same. Ever since that first summer when his mom's boyfriend had brought them up to the park for a couple of nights. Again, when he'd begged his mother enough to be a nuisance. Again, when he'd had his own car.. He ran a hand through Rabbit's hair like he was trying to prove to himself that he was still solid. Then he sighed. "There's.." He laughed, wet and shaky. "I've.. already dropped some big things on you tonight, Jack. Think you can handle one more?" He smiled for him. "You told me you used to go camping, as a kid. Same place. Do you.. ever remember meeting a little girl, there?"
Alex tried not to feel too hopeful. It'd been a long time ago, and they'd been kids, and Rabbit had had bigger things on his mind. A new family and everything it would lead to. He hitched. "I- I was going through my mom's old things, and I found this picture of me, camping out there. My first camping trip." He searched his gaze. "And I- I was with this little boy. ..I- I looked for you, after that. Every time I visited, I hoped I might run into.."
He couldn't keep going. Alex pulled him close, pressing their foreheads together, then threw his arms around him when that contact wasn't enough. He squeezed him tight, trying to hold him against his chest like it could make up for the thirty years spent apart. It should've been them from the start. "Guess you found me first," he said after a moment. Alex squeezed him all the tighter.
He couldn't be certain.
He tried to reason with himself that much. He couldn't be certain. Nothing was ever certain. But as Alex pressed back against the brick of the building he'd dipped around, his breath coming faster and faster in hurried pants, he knew. How couldn't he? Two years, almost to the day, and Rabbit's face had yet to fade even a little bit. Part of that was Harley's doing; the kid looked so much like him that sometimes it hurt just to look at her. It was the way she smiled, or that painfully curious look she'd get in her eyes-- it was why he'd had to leave her again.
He hated doing it, but it was far from the first time. He could only handle so much of her, this kid he'd never been prepared for and that needed him, before he had to get away for a while. His mother was always happy to babysit, always sympathetic when he started to crack under pressure, but he knew it wasn't the right thing to do. He loved her so much that he couldn't stand it sometimes. He loved her so much that sometimes he regretted not trying to find her a more stable family. He'd taken this job as an excuse to leave town for a few days, and for every mile past the county line, he'd felt a little more sick with guilt.
He'd stopped in some little, no name town to get a coffee and try to settle his stomach. The man he'd glimpsed across the road, dirty from work and laughing shyly as a younger girl passed him some kind of lunch wrapped in tinfoil, had put that right out of his mind. His stomach cramped and it took tipping his head back against the brick to keep himself from getting sick. It had to be him. Alex would know that laugh anywhere.
----
It didn't take much to find him. When he'd braved another look around the corner of the diner he'd been hiding behind, Rabbit was gone. The whatever work he'd been doing, probably something to do with the newly repaired fencing out in front of the shop across the road, was evidently done for the day. The girl had been getting into her car. All Alex had to do was jog across the road and ask for an address, claiming to be an old friend. The girl called him Harlan, and Alex didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
He waited until around dusk. That felt safer, somehow, though he didn't really know why. It wasn't like he had to keep Rabbit hidden anymore- evidently he'd been living here a while, long enough to get himself a little place to stay. Alex parked down the road from his driveway, out of view in a patch of grass at the side of the asphalt. He let the time pass in a daze, unsure if he was dreaming or crazy or something in-between. He was sweating and he didn't think his heart had stopped thundering since the moment he'd seen him. Finally, when there was still just a little bit of light left in the sky, he got out of his car and made the walk down to the address he'd been given. Without giving himself a moment to hesitate, he walked up to the door and gave it three hard knocks with the side of his fist.
@smallvillecrows
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My Heart, Your Hands - A Jake Kiszka Fic
A/N: So I'm going to be adding parts to this and I'm honestly excited to see where it'll go! I've had this idea for a while and I'm finally writing in down. This first part doesn't contain a whole lot of gvf, it's more of an introduction of what's to come.
synopsis: slow burner fic with Jake Kiszka x fem!reader. Greta Van Fleet invites your band to open for them on tour.
word count: 1.2k (short and sweet to start off)
content warning: mentions of alcohol, cussing, brief mentions of sex, sibling bickering.
taglist: @way-to-go-lad @flowervanfleet (if you want me to add or unadd you from my taglist just let me know!)
Your fingers plucked the strings of your bright yellow bass and your foot tapped along to the notes that came pouring out of the amp.
"Hey, can you help with my drum set?" Jack sets down his snare and walks away, not giving you a chance to answer. Not your fault he has to put his set together every gig, especially when he acted like an ass in the van on the way here. You reluctantly swing your bass strap over your head and set your pride and joy on the stand.
"Y/N!"
"Oh my god, I'm coming!" You set off into a half jog towards the back exit where you parked the van. Miles gives you an equally frustrated look and continues helping Jack lug the pieces of his set out of the back of the van.
You just landed in Nashville, the last stop on your little America tour. This little band you started with your brother (Jack) and mutual friend (Miles) really started taking off after Miles graduated from high school so you all planned a "tour" which was more of a road trip with gigs at bars along the way. It had gone surprisingly well so far with more and more followers finding your socials and Spotify every week.
"Hey, are you guys MHYH?" You look toward the voice at the same time as your bandmates and nod. You guys thought your band’s name was cool but people hardly ever said the full name, preferring to use the acronym instead.
"Yeah, you coming to watch the show?" Miles turns away from Jack handing him another part of the drum kit to engage with the olive skinned girl standing at the opening of the alley.
"For sure! I was wondering if I could request a song of yours that might not be on your setlist." Miles smiles and walks away from Jack and I and towards the pretty girl. Jack lets out a loud huff and rolls his eyes at Miles' back.
"Fuck boy," he mutters. You laugh at his annoyance and pick up where Miles left, grabbing cymbals and stands and bringing them inside.
"I'm serious. He better be back in time for sound check." You set down what you're holding and turn towards Jack.
"You're just jealous you couldn't go talk to her first."
"Well I was crouched in the back of the van like a cave man." Jack was used to getting all the girls since Miles had been in a serious relationship but in the past month, things went sour between Miles and Katie so now Jack had some competition.
"I'm sure there will be plenty more at the show you can talk to." As much as Jack's banter was entertaining you, you couldn't get the sad thought out of your mind that this was your last show on this tour. With all the money you guys spent on gas and food, you barely broke even with tips and your share of ticket profits. It would be a while before you guys could afford to do this again.
Instead of watching Jack put together his drum kit, you decide to pick up your bass again and start plucking out the beginning notes of your most recent song, singing along in your head.
“I told you I had to leave this town
heaven knows you'll be alright
need to get away from here
start focusing on my own life”
"So Denim Dreams has been requested," Miles hopped up onto the small stage and started taking his guitar out of its case.
"Ew dude," Jack pauses setting up his snare to reply. "That's our worst fucking song."
Miles just shrugs with a ghost of a smile on his face and Jack sighs.
"If you make me play that song you better at least be getting laid tonight." You laugh at the two boys and turn to face them fully.
"We need to make our setlist." The three of you always waited right before a show to make the setlist but with thirty minutes to go before the doors opened, you were pushing it tonight.
"Fuck, I forgot we didn't do that yet. Y/N you're the lead singer, it's your job." You roll your eyes and grab your phone from your back pocket to make an impromptu setlist in your notes app.
"Make sure Denim Dreams makes it on there for our beloved fans," Jack replies, sarcasm dripping from his tongue. Miles flips him off and they both laugh at their bickering.
After you're happy with how the setlist looks, you pass your phone to Jack and then Miles to get their approval.
"Looks good, y/nic." Miles goes quiet for a moment. "Let's make this a show to remember, it'll probably be a while before we get to be on a stage again." You note the sad look in his green eyes and solemnly nod your head in response.
Your manager, aka another one of your mutual friends with a degree in business, hops on the crowded stage and hands you a beer.
"Thanks, Kay." After promptly taking a long gulp from the cold bottle, you give her a smile. She was the first one to suggest you guys needing a manager and she handled everything off of the stage, which you were very thankful for.
Miles motions for you to pass the bottle to him and you do so, earning a grossed out look from Jack. He wasn't much of a drinker, but what he didn't indulge in alcohol-wise he certainly made up for in dope.
"You guys got the setlist and everything?" Kay continues to take the bottle from Miles and chugs the rest of the amber liquid. After deciding nods were a good enough answer, she continued, "Hope you guys are ready because there's actually a crowd outside."
You can't hide your shocked expression and she laughs.
"How many are here for us and how many are just here for the booze?"
"That I do not know, Jack, but I guess we'll find out," she winks and walks down the wobbly stairs to the main floor. "I'll tell Bill you guys will be ready in ten. Make it happen."
"Shall we check our sound?"
--
You could feel the sweat dripping down your brow but that didn't matter in this moment. What matters is the screams and the yells from the crowd as you finish your song.
"This next one is called Denim Dreams," Miles speaks into the mic which elicits a scream from the left side of the bar, no doubt from that girl from earlier.
You turn and watch Jack for his cue to start when he gives you a nod. You pluck out the familiar riff of the song you had written about some guy you met years ago, Miles following with the strum of his guitar, and finally Jack with a few stomps to his bass drum.
As you started singing the lyrics, making yourself sound as if you were still in love with the man you had written this song about, you didn't notice the door to the bar open. You certainly didn't notice four boys walk in and make their way to the bar, their eyes on your band the whole time. In fact, it wasn't until you finished with Miles’ solo that you spotted the members of Greta Van Fleet clapping along with the crowd and smiling at you.
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This is my first weekly reading log. I've been reading some incredibly lovely fics so I figured why not share that excitement with others :) Just a little warning that most of the fics this week are explicit. My favourites are marked with 🌻
🌻 SPELEVINK by Ginny_Potter @hipsterdiva [Stucky, 9k, General]
Bucky’s back. He’s leaving me messages through IKEA plushies, Steve texts Sam. jesus christ, rogers, Sam texts back.
Or, Bucky lives in an IKEA Tiny Apartment, Steve is a dancing monkey once again, and somehow they find their way back to each other.
🌻 I Want To Teach You A Lesson In The Worst Kind Of Way by fandomfluffandfuck @fandomfluffandfuck [Stucky, 61k, Explicit]
Bucky is not an arts major, not even close. He's getting his master's in Biotechnology with dreams of going into the sort of half related medical field of biotechnology prosthetics, inspired by a childhood pet, a three legged cat called Alpine. However, the schooling system (one that normally he doesn't mind too much because he's that much of a nerd) demands that he take a variety of classes; even if they don't pertain towards his immediate interests. An art elective is one of those required unrelated classes. He's not interested.
Not yet anyway; whether he likes it or not he might end up discovering an interest in art. Or. At least an interest in the professor teaching the art credit fulfilling class as it pertains to his... non-school related interests...
i got it bad for you by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Evanstan RPF, 4k, Explicit]
“Yeah? Older?”
“Yeah yeah, just…I don’t know, the beard? This fucking hair? Just…I don’t know— older,” he manages to chuckle nervously, gasping into Chris’ mouth when their squirming leads their dicks into lining up beautifully. Seb aches, yearns, mouth watering as he mewls, both hands in Chris’ hair as he licks into Sebastian’s mouth.
And then Chris pulls back, breathes hot on Sebastian’s cheek, his bottom lip, croons, “Like your Daddy?”
bet i look nice on you by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 1k, Explicit]
“C’mon, you said you wanted to feel, said you were up for a challenge,” Steve taunts lowly, peering up at Bucky from where he sits. “Daddy, want it. Daddy, wanna feel you for days,” he tacks on in a nasally exaggerated voice, one used with the full intention on making Bucky embarrassed, uncomfortable.
It works.
Aut Cum Scuto, Aut In Scuto by humapuma [Stucky, 33k, Explicit]
Bucky never thought he would find his Omega at just twenty-years-old. Mates usually found each other around twenty-two or twenty-three, so he was overjoyed to learn that their bond was so strong, they were drawn to one another early. Until Bucky's family attorney informed him that his Omega - Steve - was not only a long-time activist and a successful nurse, he was actually thirty-six.
Steve never thought he would find his Alpha. It had been more than ten years since they were supposed to come together, and he had long-since given up waiting. So, when a kid slammed into him on the street and tried to claim him, Steve was more than a little surprised.
Can these two overcome their differences, presumptions, and their pasts to find one another on the other side?
I didn't want the scars to show by Bittersweet_In_Boston [Stucky, 8k, Mature]
“This is Steve, one of my...co-workers,” Barton says teasingly. “Steve, this is James Barnes, the tattoo artist I was telling you about.”
Steve has heretofore been dumbstruck as he looks at James Barnes, because he is the most beautiful human Steve’s ever met, with the possible exception of Peggy 70 years ago. His long dark hair is pulled into a messy bun at the back of his head, and it frames the face of an angel, with a long-aquiline nose, a wide sensitive mouth, cheekbones to cry over, and a jawline that could kill at twenty paces, covered with a light layer of stubble.
And most importantly, large grey-blue eyes that light up and scan over Steve as Barnes shakes his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Steve,” he says in his husky voice, and this is where Steve has to remind himself how to be a functioning human being in a society.
“Good to meet you too, James,” Steve says, his voice only cracking a little. James’ hand is warm and strong and dry, and Steve could happily hold it forever. He does let go after a few seconds like a normal person, however.
“Bucky. Call me Bucky,” says James. “Everyone does.”
“OK...Bucky,” Steve says, and this time his voice behaves.
🌻 grassroots by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 11k, Explicit]
Bucky has been waiting for a moment like this.
Under the guise of a work trip, he joins Senator Rogers in New York City for his good friend Sam Wilson’s campaign fundraiser for Governor of New York. All that consumes Bucky’s mind at first is Steve’s insistence on sharing a room, a bed, so much so that he is caught entirely off guard by something much less conspicuous—one Steve Rogers back in Brooklyn.
In just two days Bucky learns more about Steve than he could have ever anticipated, and although it’s only forty-eight hours, it begins to shift their relationship, blind to the two of them. From stories about his mama to where to get the best pizza in the borough, Steve shares a side of himself with Bucky that few have ever been able to see before…
🌻 I Can't Do Everything (But I'll Do Anything For You) by Musette22 (with art from rufferto) @musette22 [Stucky, 24k, Explicit]
Steve Rogers cares about a lot of things, but dating isn’t one of them – much to his fellow Avengers’ bemusement. It’s just never been very high on his list of priorities, falling somewhere behind his work, his friends, his hobbies, and that excellent pepperoni pizza from Vinnie’s on Flatbush Ave.
That is until one night, Natasha drags Steve out to a charity music concert by some hotshot singer that Steve has never actually heard of (which would surprise exactly no one, seeing as Steve is still partial to his records and his radio plays). And as soon as Steve lays eyes on Grammy-award winning musician and international heartthrob James Barnes for the very first time, suddenly he wonders if maybe dating wouldn’t be so bad after all. Dating James Barnes, specifically, that is. The question is just: how does one go about that? Especially one like Steve, who’s never wooed anybody in his century-long life, let alone a man. Let alone a man with long, dark hair, tattoos all over his arms, and a fanbase that rivals Steve’s own.
It’s not like he can just go up to him and say something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"
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