#/ showing nothing save for what he wants shown | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

samandcolbyownme · 5 months ago

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Summary: full one shot based off of this snippet - I added more details to this one.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, swearing, onlyfans!reader, consensual recording/picture taking, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, dirty talk, praising, oral (f rec), hair pulling, choking, filthy filth

Word Count: 3.2k | not edited

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You were at home, racking your brain on new ways to spice up your website. A new outfit? No. A new lingerie set? No.

You chewed on your lip, letting out a frustrated sigh as nothing peaked your interest.

The feeling of your phone vibrating on your thighs, distracts you from your thoughts when you see Colby’s name on the screen, “Hey.”

“Hey. Do you have plans tonight?” Colby asks, not really sounding like he even wants to be talking to you right now.

“Um, no. I don’t think so, why?” You sit up and wait for him to speak, but he’s still quiet, “Colby?”

“I gotta go.”

You hear the three beeps and slowly pull your phone away from your ear, confused as hell, “What the fuck?” You shake your head, trying to figure out why Colby sounded different on the phone.

He didn’t tell you if anything was bothering him, he seemed fine before he left, which is what makes it weird because he couldn’t even be on the phone with you.

But it also made you kind of worried. You liked Colby.

A lot.

The one thing that’s been holding you back from telling him about said feelings, is mainly your onlyfans page.

You weren’t sure whether or not Colby would be okay with that. You wanted Colby and you honestly felt like he wanted you, too. But, at the same time, you weren’t sure if he would want to be with someone that has shown and continues to show their tits for money.

You toss your phone down with a sigh before walking over to retrieve your new lingerie sets from your bottom dresser drawer. You lay them out, deciding on which one to pick before changing into it.

You grab your camera, setting it on your tripod before moving to get on the bed, posing in various positions before repeating if with the next set.

You were honestly shocked that you haven’t been walked in on before. Sometimes you get so into taking pictures or recording stuff that you heard something at the last second that’s saved you from even Sam walking in.

You wrapped up getting dressed right at the perfect time. As soon as you pulled your shirt down over your body, you hear the front door open and close with a powerful shove.

You wait a few seconds, trying to listen to if you can tell where they’re going, but panic at the last second when you hear them growing closer.

You shove your tripod in your closet before moving to shove the lingerie back into the bottom dresser drawer.

Just as you turn around, there’s a knock on your door and you know it Colby, “Come in.”

The door opens and he walks in, “Hey.”

You give him a smile, “What’s up, Colbs?” Your smile slowly fades away when he doesn’t look at you for a few seconds, “Colby?”

He doesn’t look at you when he asks, but his words shockyou, “Do you do porn?”

You blink a few times, processing what he just asked you, “um. I-I, mean yes and no.”

“What do you mean yes and no?” He turns towards you, “Do you just, go through guys? Like what? how does that work?”

You hold up your hand, “Whoa, back it the hell up, Colby. I don’t just go through guys.” You scoff, “What is your deal?”

Colby sighs, “My deal, is that you do porn and you never told me?” He shrugs, “You sleep in the room next to mine.. I don’t, this is big, y/n.”

You laugh slightly, mainly trying to cover up your nervousness, “Colby. Listen to me. It’s not straight up porn. Okay? I do OnlyFans. I don’t do anything nude. Well..”

He looks at you, “What do you do?”

You sit down on your bed, reaching over to grab your laptop, “If you want to know, just..” You get in, clicking around until you pull up your page, “Here. Look. The only really bad thing is that I show my boobs, and every now and then I will post a video. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.”

He walks over, sitting down beside you as he takes your laptop. You can tell there’s a positive change to his demeanor and you bite your lip.

You watch as his eyebrows raise with each picture that’s more scandalous than the last. You hear his breath hitch when he stumbles across your first video - purple vibrator sliding in and out of your pussy.

“So..” you cause him to jump slightly but you don’t pay any attention to it, “..who told on me?”

Colby laughs, “well.. actually.” He looks over at you, “One of Sam’s buddies sent him a screen shot and asked if it was you.”

“Why would Sam know? I haven’t told anyone I do this.” You tilt your head and Colby shrugs, looking back to your computer as he scrolls down, “I don’t know, but yeah.” He turns his phone towards you and points to this picture on your computer, “Its this one.”

You purse your lips, “That was a pay to see picture.”

“Wait, what’s that mean?” Colby looks at you and you can’t help but giggle, “It means.. whoever screenshotted that and sent it to Sam, paid to unlock it so they could see it.”

“So, they’re subscribed to you?” Colby asks and you nod, “or someone else he knows is?” You shrug, “I’m not sure, Colby.”

You could see the jealousy plastered on his face as he just stares at you, “Uh huh.” He jocks his jaw and nods, “Okay.”

He sets your computer down on the bed and stands up, hands on his hips as he tries to process everything you just shared with him, photos and all.

“So what? Are you like mad at me? Not friends anymore?” You purse your lips, “Like does this make you look at me differently?”

Colby shakes his head, “Not really. Well..” he laughs slightly, motioning towards you computer, “..I mean, okay. I see you differently now, but like..” He trails off, trying to find his wording as he scratches his brow, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I didn’t want to tell you because I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it and I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”

Colby chuckles, “Ruined?” He shake his head, “No. not at all. As I said. Different.. a hundred percent.”

“Different?” You ask as you tilt your head and he nods, “Oh yeah. You’re so much hotter than I originally thought.”

You can feel your cheeks growing warm and Colby’s next question didn’t help any matters, “So, how do you feel about potentially doing full blown.. porn?”

Fuck, you think, “Um. I mean..” you laugh slightly and look down before looking back up at him, “Maybe if it was someone I was comfortable with?”

You nod, Colby heavy on your mind, “Yeah. I think I could do it.”

A smirk grows on his lips as he slowly leans in, giving a nod to the right with his head, “Go get those pretty little outfits, because we’re about to be making you bank, baby.”

You tilt your head, “Why don’t we just get right to it.” You grip the collar of his shirt and pull him down as you lay back. He goes with you, his lips attacking your neck.

“Don’t we need the camera?” Colby leans back and you nod, “Yeah.” You breathe out, “It’s in my closet on the tripod.”

You look up at him with a smirk, “I took some pictures while you and Sam were out.”

“Mm, I’ll need to see those, too then.” He pushes himself up and goes to get the camera. He turns it on after taking it off, clicking a few times, “And we’re rolling.”?

He walks over to you, “Go ahead and take those clothes off for me, baby.” He bites down on his lip as he alternates watching you in the little screen and behind it, “Fuck, look at you.”

You toss your shirt to the side, leaving you topless as you move to sit on your calves, thumb hooking into the waistband of your shorts, “You like what you see?”

“Baby you have no idea.” Colby bites down on his lip, watching as you slowly push your shorts down your thighs. You fall back, lifting your legs to kick them off and Colby pulls them off of your ankles, tossing them behind him.

“Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.” Colby bends down, pointing the camera directly at your pussy, “You look fucking so good.”

You gasp as Colby’s thumb drags up and down your folds, “P-please.” You whimper as you buck your hips, “I need you.”

Colby pushes his thumb into your cunt, angling the camera up at your face as your eyes roll back and you moan, “Fuck, yes.”

He angles the camera back down just as he starts to slowly work his thumb in and out of you, making sure to film how fast your wetness costs his skin, “Fuck, you’re so wet already.”

“Been wanting you.” You roll your hips at the loss of his thumb inside of you, “P-please.”

He chuckles as he sets the camera down on the bed, “Play with yourself while I undress, sweetheart.” You watch as he steps back, waiting until your fingers start working circles on your clit to undress.

“There ya go, baby.” He whispers, lip pulled between his teeth as his fingers move to unbutton his shirt, “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

Your eyes track his shirt as it falls to the floor and you slide two fingers in, gasping at the feeling. Colby nods, “Keep going. Fuck, listen to that.”

Colby finishes undressing, picking up the camera and giving it a closer look at your needy cunt, your fingers weren’t cutting it.

“Here baby.” Colby hands you the camera and you smirk as you take it, flipping it around to capture him moving between your legs.

His hands snake under your thighs to lay across your hips and your legs hook over his shoulders. Your back arches with the first swipe of his tongue, moaning out as you dig your heels into his upper back.

Colby’s face is buried in your cunt, his tongue thrusting in and out as his fingers dig into your skin, “Fuck.” He groans against you, “You taste so fucking good.”

You moan loudly as his nose pushes against your clit, your orgasm being drug out with the curling of his tongue, “Fuck, fuck.” You gasp, “C-colby.”

He holds onto you, not letting go as your walls clench around his tongue, moans and incoherent mumbles leave your lips as he guides you through your high.

Your hand tangles tightly into his hair, earning a groan from him as he pulls away, “The best pussy I have ever tasted.” He crawls up, lips crashing onto yours and you moan when the taste of yourself creeps into your tongue.

He sits up, taking the camera from you so he can record his cock rubbing up and down your folds before pushing between them.

He groans, angling the camera up to your face to capture what you look like feeling his cock for the first time, “Fuck, fuck.” You arch your back, rolling your hips forward and you gasp when he thrusts his hips into you.

“Fuck, baby girl. You’re taking me so well.”

His hand grips your hips as the other grips the camera tighter, “Fuck, you have such a beautiful pussy.” He groans lowly as he slowly pulls out, “Fuckin’ hugs my cock perfectly.”

You moan loudly as his cock is thrusted into you. Colby looks at you from behind the camera, watching your face twist with pleasure as he slowly pulls out and thrust back in.

He breathes out, “You’re already making me want to cum.” His hand slides over to press his thumb to your clit. He smirks as he hears whimpers and moans of approval slip from your lips, growing louder the harder his thrusts grow.

Your back is arches off the bed as your hands grip the blankets hard, moaning out loudly as Colby’s cock is repeatedly slammed into your cunt, “S-so close, fuck.”

“Come on baby.” Colby sets the camera down, angled to capture your body and your legs around his waist, “Cum for me.”

He groans lowly as he bends down to kiss you. Your arms wrap around his neck and his hand slides down your body, giving your hip a squeeze, “You feel so good.”

You moan, nails dragging up and down his back as you cum, holding onto his for leverage, “Fuck, fuck, yesyesyes.”

You throw your head back, a nonstop string of moans leaving your lips as Colby not only, fuck you through your high, but marks up your neck in the process.

He rolls over, grabbing the camera to film your body on his, groaning as he watches his cock disappear inside of you, “Fuck, that’s it baby.” He reaches out, sliding his fingers along your open thigh, “Just like that.”

You tilt your head back, hands squeezing his thighs as you bounce up and down, whining out as you feel yourself growing close, yet again.

“One more time.” Colby whispers, his hips bucking upward, “M’so close, too baby.”

“Need you.” You whimper, grinding your hips down.

“What was that, sweetheart?” Colby asks as his hand grips your hips, the other still keeping the camera as steady as he can.

You lean down, kissing up his neck, “Want you to cum in me.” You kiss his lips, “Need all of you.”

He nods his head and you roll off of him, biting down on your lip when he grips your throat and pushes you backward.

His hand remains on your neck as his cock slips into you, “You’re gonna be so full.” His thrusts pick up rather quickly, your moans muffled by his hand squeezing harder as he rails into you.

His films you body jolting with each thrusts, groaning at the sight of you tits bouncing, face turning red from the lack of air.

“Fuck.” He lets go of your neck, cupping your cheek but you keep it up by taking his thumb between your lips.

“oh, baby.” He groans, burying his cock deeper into you, “Fuck, you’re such a slut aren’t you.” He grips your chin, earning a whimper from you as you give him a nod.

“Say it, baby.”

“Your slut.” You moan out, clenching your walls around his cock, “I’m your slut.” You moan loudly, back arching as you gasp out.

You come undone underneath him one again, moaning out as you feel his cock twitch inside of you. Your legs loses from around his waist and he sits up, filming your pussy as he pulls out.

You lift your legs, wrapping an arm around them to hold them up. Colby’s thumb pulls your pussy lip to the side, groaning as you push more of his cum out.

“Look at that.” Colby whispers as his thumb swipes upward. He reaches up, leaning forward to film you sucking the cum off his thumb, “Atta girl, baby.”

You smile up at him and he stops filming, moving to lay beside you, “How was that?”

��Exciting.” You breathee out as you roll over to face him, “But I have a question for you.” He nods and you sigh, “Do you want to be known? Like do you want me to cut out anything that has you in it?”

He laughs, “Baby. Like I said before, we’re going to make you bank, so you do..” he leans in, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “What you need to do, to do that.”

“Maybe we should tell Sam first.” You bite your lip and he gets smirks, getting up to go to the door, “Hey Sam.”

“I already know.”

Colby closes the door and walks back over to you laughing, “Now that that’s out of the way.” He grabs your laptop, “Go clean up, I’ll get this uploaded to your computer.”

You smile, nodding your head as you get dressed to go to the bathroom.

When you get back, your clothes are back off and you’re in bed with Colby, “After we edit this.. I think you should film me going down on you.”

He nods his head, “Oh absolutely.”

——

It’s been two months since you uploaded that first video, you made it a pay to see vide, which gave you and Colby, and even Sam, a little bit of time before news leaked into the fandom.

After that. Wildfire.

All of your social media comment sections have been flooded with questions, comments, and of course, concerns.

Is that really Colby on y/n’s onlyfans?

Colby and y/n???!?!!!!?

COLBY FUCKIN BROCK WTF

I mean, idk who I’m more jealous of really.

I’m actually kind of shocked ngl

WAIT HOLD ON.. Y/N AND COLBY!?

No because get it girl. For real, and get it Colby damn

You and Colby would spend nights just laughing at the comments and of course discussing the rude ones with each other, but it mainly ends up in having sex.

Colby finding out was probably the best thing that could have happened in the situation, if you knew he would have been down to help you, you would have asked him a while ago.

You made so much money in the first two months, you guys basically spoiled Sam by taking him away to different cities around the world as an apology for him having to sit through filming sometimes, he was like your little sugar baby.

Right now, you were in Italy. You and Colby went back to the hotel to get ready for dinner when Colby’s laugh catches your attention.

You lift your head, arms still rested on the banister of the balcony, “What’s up, babe?” Colby leans against the doorway and looks up at you, “Have you read the comments on the post you posted today?”

You shake your head, reaching out as he hands you his phone. Your lips turn into a smirk as your eyes scan over the screen.

You can’t tell me Sam ain’t hitting it too

Ngl, they’d make a hot thruple

I want to be y/n when I grow up

You hand Colby back his phone and you ride your brows, “What? You want to give them what they’re asking for?”

“It’s whatever you want, baby. You’re calling the shots.”

You purse your lips, bringing your glass of wine up to take a sip as you think, “You think he’d go for it?”

Colby scoffs, “Please. You should have seen the look on his face when you seen your tits through that lace top. You’re not living with us both for no reason.” He smirks, “I’ll tell him to come up here.”

You walk over, biting down on your lip as you grip his bicep, “Wait, until dinner. I want to ask him myself.”

——

Thank you so much for reading, I hope it was good! Let me know and as always, I love you so much! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

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munsonsmixtapes · 5 months ago

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Paint Me

Benedict Bridgerton x fem!inexperienced!American!reader

summary: You and Benedict attend his mother's masquerade ball and the tension between the two of you is palpable.

word count: 9k

cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) unprotected sex (please don't do this) anal, fingering, finger sucking, oral (both m and f receiving) masturbation, use of the word daddy, Benedict has a degradation kink

part one part two part three part five part six part seven

March 3, 1817

You hadn’t seen Benedict since the gallery-well, more like you had seen him, but had been avoiding him like the plague since your embarrassing situation. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him and didn’t know why you couldn’t get yourself to speak to him. Maybe it was because you had been embarrassed about just what your thoughts had contained. Because It was absolutely not appropriate for you to be thinking that way about a man who was not your husband.

All that you could think about was how much you wanted to kiss him again. How much you wanted him to make you feel as good as you did at the gallery. The way he had made you feel when he had grabbed your breast.

You had dreamt about him every night since and the thoughts were nothing but inappropriate in your mind. They all featured you both at the ball that was supposed to take place at his mother’s home where you danced the waltz together before he pulled you into his brother’s office before having his way with you. That part was a little fuzzy considering the fact that no one had ever taught you about sex. You were actually hoping that Benedict would teach you everything that you needed to know about the subject as he fucked you senseless.

Maybe you were looking forward to seeing him at the Bridgerton masquerade ball and maybe you were looking forward to Benedict ripping off your masks as he slid his hands up your dress, removing it ever so slowly and undoing your corset ever so slowly as his lips pressed to yours.

A part of you had hoped that you would have hoped that he would have shown up at your house for you like you had seen all of your sister’s suitors do, but he never did. That just wasn’t Benedict. He was more into keeping his women a secret as opposed to showing up with a bouquet of flowers and offering them to you with a bright smile on his face. That was more like his other two brothers. And maybe that was why they were both married and Benedict wasn’t.

Perhaps he was just the kind that professed his feelings behind closed doors only to ignore the woman when it came to being in public with her. And you were honestly okay with that as long as he kissed you like he had in the garden. That would have been perfectly fine in your eyes.

Your mother entered your bedroom as your lady’s maid tightened your corset and you were surprised to see her since she hadn’t really been around since your father had passed. She had been much nicer and understanding, almost as if Augustus had been the one to make her that way, but you knew that hadn’t been true. He never stopped her, but he certainly didn’t encourage her behavior.

“Here’s the dress,” she held it up and you gasped at just how perfect it was. It was exactly something you had wanted to wear and for once, she had listened to you.

The dress was a pretty light shade of pink and had a tulle overlay with white flowers all over the bottom. It was one of the most beautiful dresses you had ever seen and you were nothing but excited to put it on.

Once you were dressed and your hair and makeup were done, your mother stood behind you and you watched her smile as she rested her hands on your shoulders, looking at you through the mirror just like she always looked at your sister. Like she was actually proud of you.

“You look beautiful,” she told you and you were suspicious of her sudden niceness.

“Thank you, mother,” you nodded, unsure how to take her compliment since you had never heard her say a single nice thing to you ever in your life. She always saved those words for Lilith.

“Oh, almost forgot,” she laughed, handing you your mask. She then fled the room and you followed her to see that your sister was already waiting in the foyer. She had also been suspiciously nice to you and you wondered what sort of trick she and your mother had up their sleeves.

Her dress was very similar to yours, only it was a light blue which looked beautiful against her skin. She gasped when you descended the stairs and you couldn’t help but mimic her smile once you came face to face. She reached out for your hands and you hesitantly let her take them, still unsure what exactly was going on.

“Sister,” she said, giving your hands a squeeze. “You look positively beautiful.”

“I bet you’re just happy that I’m going to be wearing a mask so I don’t embarrass you,” you grumbled and both Lilith and your mother laughed while they each stood on either side of you, looping their arms through yours.

“You always were so funny, y/n,” Lilith said through laughs and sure, you got a laugh out of what you had said, but didn’t like it was as funny as they seemed to. Something was definitely up and you were going to get to the bottom of it.

The three of you got into the carriage and you fiddled with your necklace, thinking about the fact that this was going to be the first ball without your father. For once, you really were going to have to face it alone. Sure, you’d have Kate and Anthony to keep you company, but they weren’t family like your father was. Perhaps that was why Vivian and Lilith were being so nice. To finally make amends after making your entire life up until that point a living hell.

As much as you didn’t want to forgive so easily, you thought that it would be best to anyway, not wanting to repeat what had happened with your father. You couldn’t carry anymore guilt, the weight getting too heavy on your shoulders. You were going to be just as nice to them because you knew that was what your father had wanted, even though you wanted nothing more than to never speak to them again.

The carriage rolled up to the Bridgerton home and you realized you hadn’t been there in the few months you had been back, but the memories of the place were still fresh in your mind. You were hoping to finally see Francesca since you hadn’t had a chance to. And maybe you were also hoping to see her brother as well. Hoping that he would save a dance for you and that you’d be able to have his undivided attention as the two of you moved around the room, his hazel eyes looking into yours.

You pulled down your mask as you headed inside and were happy to have at least a little bit of anonymity even though you knew it was going to be very easy for people to figure out who you were. But still, you loved the idea of having your face partially covered so it wasn’t as obvious when you didn’t make eye contact with anyone you talked to that night.

Benedict had no intention of attending his mother’s ball until he found out that you were going to be there. He had promised himself that he was going to stay away from you so you could find someone more worthy, but fuck that. He still wanted to have his way with you and maybe that night, he’d get lucky, There was a perfectly good office that wouldn’t be in use the entire ball.

Maybe the two of you would have had time to sneak off and have a quickie before no one even noticed you were gone. He could imagine covering your mouth as you moaned as he fucked int you, not wanting you to bee too loud so your moment wouldn’t be disturbed. He had gotten a little taste of what you sounded like at the gallery and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. His dreams had been nothing but filthy for the past few nights and he was just looking forward to making them become a reality.

Benedict watched you enter the house and he had to hold back his gasp at how absolutely beautiful you looked. The pink shade looked so good against your skin and the mask you were wearing matched it perfectly. He then turned to your sister, who also looked beautiful, but not nearly as much as you. Lilith should have been the one he was interested in with her being the diamond and all, but if he was being honest, he thought Lilith was nothing but a fake. Someone who only cared about someone’s status and not their personality.

He had seen your sister eye him the entire season so far and he avoided that woman like the plague. Anytime she would approach him, he would make an excuse to leave so he wouldn’t have to speak to her, or worse, have to dance with her. Because if he talked with a woman, long enough, he felt obligated to do so and he had no intention of dancing with or even so much as making eye contact with Lilith.

Benedict made a beeline for you as you got further into the house, but Kate had beat you to the punch. He supposed he could have let his sister have a moment with you before he asked you to dance. Especially since he wanted you to enjoy enough of the event before he whisked you away.

“You look absolutely lovely,” Kate complimented as she took your hands and you eyed her beautiful olive green dress and her mask that matched.

“Thank you, you too.”

“Oh, thank you,” she squeezed your hands then turned to stand next to you, linking her arm with yours as you both surveyed the room. You watched Benedict cross the room to make his way towards you and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He was dressed in navy blue and had a gold mask sitting on his face. You didn’t know how you knew that it was him with his disguise, but you just did.

A smile made its way upon his face as he approached you and he wordlessly held his hand out to you. You took it and he led you out onto the floor before joining your hands and resting his hand on your shoulder blade and yours rested on his. The music changed and you both moved about the room, no words being spoken. All you had to do was look in each other’s eyes to say what you needed to.

You could see Benedict leaning towards you and for a second, it seemed like he was going to kiss you. But he wasn’t going to do that with all of those people around. He wouldn’t do something so inappropriate. But why did you kind of want him to?

He brought his lips to your ear and feeling his hot breath on your ear brought you back to the gallery. You really wished he would have just pulled you into a room and had his way with you and thinking those kinds of thoughts made you feel guilty considering that he wasn’t your husband, but not guilty enough to stop them.

“You look fucking beautiful tonight.” His voice was raspy and you tried your best not to moan at the sound of it.

“And what are you going to do about it?” You asked as he pulled back to look at him, batting your eyelashes as he did so.

“I can’t tell you when there are so many people around.” You felt your heart race in your chest as you realized what he was insinuating. You had always been taught that sex was something that happened between a married man and woman and now here you were, offering your body to Benedict on a silver platter when you were nothing to him except someone he could use.

Before you could register what you were doing, you pushed his arms off of you and took off for the nearest room you could lock yourself in. You pushed through multiple groups of people to get to the outside of the circle everyone had formed around the dance floor. You turned to see that Benedict was following you and opened the first door you could find.

You closed yourself in the nearest room which just so happened to be Anthony’s study. You took a deep breath as you tried to collect your thoughts, feeling them all swirl around in your brain. It was all becoming too much to take. You couldn’t be in love with him. You didn’t even know what love looked like since everyone around you didn’t seem to show you any.

you felt tears well up in your eyes as you turned your back to the door, knowing that you had really fucked everything up this time. There was someone who wanted you, but you were so caught up in your insecurities that you couldn’t even let him love you.

The door burst open causing it to hit the wall with how much force was used. You whipped around and there was Benedict, looking like he had just run a mile. He was breathing heavily, his shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was a total mess.

As soon as he caught sight of you, he made a beeline for you, taking you into his arms, letting out a contented sigh that he had finally found you. A grin broke out on his face and normally, that would have made you melt, but not this time. You were not going to be another one of his whores.

“Benedict, you need to leave now.” You couldn’t bear to see him. You needed him so badly and knew it was wrong to engage in that kind of activity without being married, but you had already done so, so what was one more time? So he had to leave.

“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” You knew he was telling the truth. He was so stubborn. More so than you, in fact and you knew that he really wouldn’t leave the room until you told him the truth.

“I have nothing to say.” You had so much to say, but none of it was appropriate. It was pure filth and it sat on your tongue, begging to be uttered to him, but you couldn’t do it. Not now. Not ever.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me why you ran. We were having a great time and you left with no warning. Again. I think I deserve an explanation.” He did, but you weren’t going to give him one. You couldn’t. Not without telling him the truth and there was no way in hell that you were doing that.

“I’m not telling you anything. I would like to be alone so please leave.” You pointed to the door and you seemed to be just as fired up as you were at the gallery. He liked the side of you. The side that liked to get a little mean and authoritative.

He leaned down so that his face was just inches above yours, a devilish smirk forming on his lips as he spoke.

“Make me.” Oh, you were going to make him. There was no doubt about that.

“Fine.” You began to push on his chest, put he just leaned forward, his hands meeting the desk as he did so, caging you in.

“Benedict, please-“ he cut you off by pushing your dress up. He sat you on the desk and spread your legs wide to get a good look, looking up at you with a devilish smirk as he caught sight of your sopping wet cunt.

“Look at you, darling. Been thinking a lot about me, huh?” He winked. “Well, no wonder you’re so frustrated with me. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.”

“What are you-“ your sentence was cut off by his pants dropping to his ankles, your eyes widening as his cock came into view. God, he was huge. You weren’t able to stare at it long because he pounded it into you, causing you to make a sound you had never made before. And Benedict loved hearing it, deciding that it was better than he could ever imagined.

“So tight,” he chuckled. “But don’t worry, you’ll be so loose by the time I’m done with you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead then thrusted in and out of you and watched the way your mouth opened wide as you let out another moan. One hand gripped your waist as he put his hand over your mouth, not wanting you to get too loud and ruin your good time before it had even really started.

“You have to be quiet,” he said harshly and you just nodded. “Can you be quiet for me darling? I promise the next time we’ll do it somewhere more convenient because you have no idea how much I want to hear you scream my name.”

He continued to pump in and out of you, his eyes moving down to your tits, hypnotized by the way they moved underneath your dress. He decided that he really needed to see them. He wanted to watch them bounce as he fucked into you again and again.

He pulled your dress over your head and tossed it behind him before reaching for your corset, untying it without even seeing it because he had done that exact thing more times than he could count. Once it was off, he took in your bare chest, deciding that they had looked even better than he imagined in the many dreams he had about you doing the exact thing you had been doing right then. But he wasn’t dreaming then. You were just a dream.

“You look-“ he cut himself off, feeling drool collect in his mouth as he thought about it sucking on your tits. But he didn’t do stuff like that. He just fucked. There was no foreplay or lead up. That wasn’t who he was. “Fucking heavenly.”

Then why did he want to kiss you until you were both breathless then fuck you soft and slow, making sure that you enjoyed every single moment? Who was he becoming because this definitely wasn’t the version of himself that he had grown to know.

He wiped the thought away and pounded into you, pushing your back onto the desk, as he moved everything out of the way, letting it all crash to the floor, not even caring that it made a loud clatter. He fucked into you, as hard and as fast as he could, trying to fit all of himself inside you and watching your eyes water as you managed to take every single inch of his dick. He continued to pound into you, watching you come completely undone as he fucked you roughly, watching your back arch as you moaned loudly, the sound becoming music to his ears. You collapsed onto the desk and he scooped you up into his arms, watching your head fall back as he desperately tried to hold you there, making sure that you were still okay to keep going.

“Can’t go dumb on me yet, darling. This is only the appetizer.” That broke something in you and you pressed a kiss to his lips before urging him to continue. He pushed you back onto the desk and kept you there, pinning you to it by your wrists as he continued to pound into you, watching you eat up the way he was fucking you, moaning when he wanted you to and arching your back in just the right moments.

He felt himself reach his climax and let out moans of his own, your name falling from his lips as he did so and you felt yourself become a goddamn puddle at hearing him moan your name. He then pulled out just in time to watch a mixture of your slick and his cum leak onto the floor and he had to hold himself back from licking up every last drop, not wanting any of it to go to waste.

Benedict pulled out of you and motioned for you to turn around. You did as he asked and he bent you over the desk, slamming his dick into you, pressing his chest to your back as he rested his hand on top of yours, lacing his fingers through yours, giving them a tight squeeze. He continued to pound into you as you leaned against the desk, already feeling tired from the activity, but you were going to hold out as long as you could, wanting to feel the other ways he was willing to scandalize your body.

Benedict continued to pump in and out of you as roughly as possible, feeling around for something in particular and smiling to himself when he found it. His hand found a mirror that was sitting on the desk and he turned it around, pushing it to sit in front of you and tilting it backwards so he could see you just right.

“Look at how good you’re taking me,” he commanded, his tone still soft despite the way his hand was gripping yours with such force.

He took you by your chin and forced you to look in the mirror, him watching nothing but you as he pounded his dick into you and you were able to see how undone he was able to make you.

Your mouth widened as you let out another moan and you had to admit that you were kind of loving seeing yourself like that and your eyes shifted to Benedict who was looking down at you like he wanted to eat you whole.

“So good,” you whined and he continued, elated that you were being vocal about how much you were enjoying yourself. If you hadn’t, he would have put the whole thing to a stop, your comfort being his number one priority. Sure, he liked the degrade you, but only with your consent.

“See? Look at you, taking it like the little whore you are.“ He pounded into you once more and you reached your orgasm, your moans the loudest they had been and Benedict was quick to cover your mouth once again.

He gave your ass a slap and you let out a yelp at the stinging sensation, but that didn’t mean you didn’t like it. In fact, you wanted him to do it again and again until your skin couldn’t take it anymore.

“What did I tell you about being quiet?” He asked through grit teeth. “Am I going to have to teach you a lesson about what happens when you disobey me?”

“Please,” you whined and he just smirked at you through the mirror. He grabbed onto your necklace and gave it a tug, causing a choking sound to escape your throat. You felt your cunt get even more wet at the feeling of the necklace pressing into your skin and became concerned that you enjoyed the feeling.

“Yeah? You like that, whore? Like it when I choke you like this?” He pulled a little harder and you noticed the pressure was relieved, looking into the mirror to see that the necklace had broken in his hand. Benedict looked at you apologetically then tossed the necklace aside on the desk. He’d buy you another one later.

He pulled out of you and turned you around to face him, pushing you against the desk as he pressed his lips to yours in a rough kiss. You gasped into his mouth then sat there, pliant to his kiss as he took what he wanted from you. You moved your lips with his hesitantly, unsure of whether you were doing it right.

“That’s right, darling,” he encouraged. “Just like that.” His lips continued to move with yours, rougher but slower, taking his time like he had so much of it even though it was only a matter of time before people started to look for you.

Benedict cradled your face in his hands, pressing his thumbs into your chin, pulling down on it so he had more access to your mouth. He slid his tongue inside and let it swirl around yours, loving the sounds it was pulling from you, loving the feeling of your hot breath on his lips as you moaned his name.

“Benedict,” you did your best to moan quietly and he pulled away, looking down at you as lust glazed over his eyes.

“No,” he shook his head. “As long as we’re in the bedroom, you call me daddy.”

“Daddy,” you repeated, the word in that context feeling foreign, but you didn’t hate it.

“Just like that.” If fucking you was always going to be like this, then Benedict was definitely going to get rid of all of his other whores.

He took two of his fingers and buried them inside of you, making sure to cover your mouth as you let out a moan. He pumped into you and the sounds you were making sounded delicious even through his hand that was muffling them.

“So good, daddy,” you whined and Benedict’s cock twitch at that. You were so hot and you didn’t even know it.

“Yeah? You like when my fingers fuck you?” He asked and you nodded, white knuckling the desk once again, almost afraid to touch him, also most as if his body was off limits. “You can touch me, darling. In fact, I encourage it. Want you to scratch up my back.” He helped you lean into him, giving him more access to your cunt, your legs pressing tightly against his wrist as his fingers continued to fuck you.

You removed his shirt as best you could, the thing only hanging off his arm since you didn’t want him to remove himself from you. Your hands scratched up and down his back in reaction to your pleasure and he let out a whimper as your nails met his back, wanting you to bring some of his skin with them.

Your head fell backwards as you reached your second orgasm, but Benedict kept his fingers inside you, hoping he could get you to your third one of the night. He gave you a few more pumps before removing his fingers, slowly moving them up to his mouth. His tongue fell out and he gave his fingers a slow lick, watching drool collect in your mouth as you watched him, your eyes glazing over with lust. He had you right where he wanted you.

“Want a taste, darling?” He asked and you nodded, your eyes widening as you did so. Benedict stepped forward, tilting your chin up, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him as he stuck his fingers into your mouth. “Give ‘em a suck,” he instructed. “You know you want to.”

You sucked on his fingers and he swore he was going to cum right there, watching you scandalize his fingers. He had made countless women come undone and he was afraid that you were doing the exact same thing to him and you weren’t even aware of it. His little shy girl driving him absolutely wild and having no clue what she was even doing.

“Lick them clean.” He stuck his fingers further into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat, causing you to gag. Your eyes watered as you gagged a little more and he pulled his fingers out a little bit, but you grabbed his wrist and put his fingers further into your mouth, almost down your throat and your eyes watered more as you gagged again, but you didn’t want him to stop. His fingers fucked your mouth and you sucked on them, licking your slick clean from them.

“Yeah? Like it when I make you gag, huh? Like the way my fingers feel in your throat? You look so pretty wrapped around them, darling. Bet you’d look even prettier wrapped around my cock.” You nodded at that, desperate to know just what he tasted like. “Wanna suck me off, darling?” He took his fingers out of your mouth so you could give a verbal response and you nodded again.

“Use your words.” He grabbed onto your face and forced you to look him in the eye. He squeezed your cheeks so tight that you felt a little pinch, but you hardly minded. In fact, you didn’t mind at all.

“Want to so bad, daddy!” His cock twitched again at that and he decided that needed you to suck him off right then or he swore that he wasn’t going to make it. He let out a whine as cum spilled from his cock and you looked down at it, feeling drool pool as you thought about it in your mouth.

“Look at you, so needy for me.” He wiped the drool from your chin and removed his hands from your face. “On your knees.” His tone was now more forceful but you liked it. You loved being told what to do and the degradation that came with it.

You got onto your knees and came face to face with his leaking cock and Benedict grabbed onto the edge of the desk, pressing the backs of his thighs into it as you looked up to him for instruction.

“What do you want me to do, daddy?” You bat your eyelashes and Benedict’s cock hardened right there, loving the way you looked so innocent but about to do something so filthy. The juxtaposition was driving him wild.

“Gotta take me into your mouth first. Put your hand at the base,” he said, his tone soft again. You grabbed onto the base just like he told you to and took him into your mouth and he swore he was going to come undone right there just by seeing your lips wrapped around him. He was convinced that was the prettiest you’d ever looked.

“Okay, now you gotta use your tongue. Swirl it around the head.” You did as he asked and he shuddered, throwing his head back as he let out a whimper but looked back down at you, the two of you maintaining eye contact as you licked up every last bit of his cum. “Now give it a suck.” You gave the head a suck and Benedict let out a loud moan at that, quickly covering his mouth as soon as it left. There was no way you hadn’t sucked a cock before. You were just so good at it that it just wasn’t possible that you were doing it for the first time.

You licked and sucked on his dick and you loved watching him come undone for a change. You watched him white knuckle the desk as he threw his head back, moaning your name over and over, causing your cunt to become a mess, feeling your slick pour from you as his delicious sounds met your ears.

“So good. Swear you can do this any time you want.” You were definitely going to take him up on that offer.

You removed your hand from him and just when he thought you were done, you grabbed onto his ass, pushing his dick as far as it would go into your mouth, desperate to have all of him. He looked down, his mouth falling open as he watched you take every single inch of him into your mouth. Your eyes were watering and you were staring to gag, but that wasn’t going to deter you.

Your tongue swirled around wherever you could reach as you continued to suck on him, watching his knees buckle as you hit just the right spot to make him absolutely lose it. Your fingers dug into his ass cheeks and he let out a yelp, wanting you to cause so much damage that he could look into a mirror and see bruise marks from how hard you were digging your finger tips into him.

“God, fuck, I’m gonna-“ his sentence was cut off by a huge wad of cum hitting the back of your throat as he let out the loudest moan of the night, surely on the verge of making people want to enter the room because of the disturbance.

He folded in on himself as you took his dick out of your mouth. He looked up at you and took your face in his hands again, looking at your glazed over eyes.

“Swallow,” he instructed, his breathing still labored. You did as he said and felt the cum go down your throat as he push your mouth open to make sure that you had actually swallowed it and looked down at you with that damn devilish smirk that should have been illegal.

“Good girl,” he gave your cheek a pat then got onto his knees in front of you. He pushed you roughly so your back hit the floor and he was quick to spread your legs, looking down at your pussy, ready to get a taste for himself.

“You look good enough to eat, darling. And I’m fucking starving.” He licked his lips slowly, looking down at your cunt as if it was a full course meal and he hadn’t eaten in days.

He went to remove your shoes and socks as slowly as he could, watching you whine for him, wanting to edge you now since everything else had happened so quickly. He slowly got your shoes off and took your left leg gently in his hands, removing your socks as slowly as he could, watching you beg for him as you did so which only made him move slower.

“Relax, darling,” he hushed you. “It’s going to be okay. Daddy’s going to take care of you in a minute.” Your socks were removed and he grabbed hold of your ankles, pressing feather light kisses to your left leg, complimenting you as he did you, telling you just how pretty he thought you were. This was going to be the main event, so he was going to have to put on a show.

Once he got to the top of your thigh, he hovered his face right above your cunt, taking a sharp inhale of your scent before giving the thing a slow, long lick causing you to arch your back just like he wanted.

“Just a second. You really need to relax,” he told you harshly. “I’m clearly working here.” He kissed up your right leg and you were so desperate for the feeling that you slowly inched your way down to your sopping wet cunt, needing to get your release.

You stuck your fingers up it just like Benedict had and you let out a moan, causing him to pause his loving on your leg. He slowly turned to you and looked down at your hand placement, his eyes widening at the fact that you were so needy that you felt the need to pleasure yourself. Maybe he’d like to watch you instead.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, immediately removing your fingers from yourself, but Benedict stopped you, putting his hand over yours and guiding it back to your entrance.

“No, keep going,” he urged. “Wanna watch you.”

“You want to…watch me? I thought you wanted to-“

“Well, I’ve changed my mind,” he cut you off, his tone becoming harsh again and your cunt was becoming more needy for attention by the second. “Wanna watch you make yourself come undone. Now stick your finger back where they were.”

You did as he told you and stuck your fingers back up your cunt, trying to remember what Benedict had done earlier. You pumped in and out and he watched you with hungry eyes as your fingers fucked you, your eyes shutting tight in pleasure as you came undone at your own touches.

He was becoming jealous. Jealous of your fingers, desperate to lick them clean. Desperate to have another taste of you, wanting to be the one to give you that kind of pleasure. But he was getting so hard watching you that he was willing to wait until you came.

You moaned at the feeling, whines getting caught in your throat as you imagined Benedict’s tongue lapping up every last bit of your slick, telling you just how good you tasted as you pulled on his hair as hard as you could.

Just as Benedict was getting into it, you removed your fingers from yourself and his mouth watered at just how wet with slick your fingers were. He leaned over without a second thought and gave them a suck, swirling his tongue around them to get every last bit before removing them from his mouth.

As soon as he was done, he shoved his face into your cunt and you let out a gasp as his nose brushed it. He took no time to lick a stripe from your slit to your clit and you grabbed onto his hair and gave it a yank as he lowered himself to the floor, draping your legs over your shoulder as he did so.

He moved his tongue up and down, giving you a taste before pulling back a bit, causing you to let out another whine. You were just too easy to tease and he was always going to take the opportunity to do so.

“There’s no need to get greedy, darling.” He smiled up at you and you reached down to your cunt again, but Benedict grabbed hold of your wrist and gave it a tight squeeze, his eyes filling with anger.

“Stop acting like a spoiled brat or I’m going to leave you to finish the job yourself. I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? Now be quiet, darling, I’m about to do my best work.” With that, he buried his face back into your cunt and took no time to stick his tongue up it, pulling a moan from you as you gave his hair a yank.

His tongue hit just the right spot and your back arched in absolute euphoria. You yanked his hair again and let out your loudest moan yet, reaching your third orgasm for the night which even for Benedict was a record. He should have known that he could make you cum every single time. He was just that good.

“Benny,” you screamed and Benedict stopped at that. You had never called him that and why did he kind of like that more than being called daddy? Daddy was his go to, but with you, it was different. He liked your nicknames for him.

He removed his face from your cunt and licked up every last bit of slick he could reach from his face then placed himself on top of you, pulling you in for a filthy kiss, swirling his tongue around yours before pulling away.

“Did so well, darling,” he complimented as he wiped some of your baby hairs from your forehead, admiring the way you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes as if he didn’t just do some of the filthiest things to you that would have sent any normal woman running.

“Got one more in you? Promise I’ll be gentle.” He brushed some more hair away from your forehead and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

“One more,” you slurred and Benedict knew he didn’t have long until you were too far gone to consent so he was going to have to work quick.

“Wanna be on top?” He asked and you nodded enthusiastically. If he was being honest, he just wanted to see your tits bounce again as he fucked you senseless.

Benedict laid on the floor and you straddled his waist, situating yourself onto his dick, you both letting out moans as he entered you. You reached out and covered each other’s mouths as you began to ride him as he coached you, telling you exactly what to do.

“That’s it,” he encouraged. “Just like that. A little faster now.” You bucked your hips into his, back and forth and Benedict was hypnotized by the way your tits bounced up and down as you rode him, finding himself wanting to know what they tasted like, wanting to feel your back arch into him as you pulled one of them into his mouth, giving it a rough suck.

“Love riding you, daddy,” you whined and Benedict knew he was done for. Hearing your pathetic whines mixed with his nickname was making him lose his goddamn mind. It was so unfair how fucking how you were and how so unaware you were of it.

“I know, honey,” he managed to get out through labored breaths. “Look so pretty when you’re riding me.”

“I thought I looked pretty with your cock in my mouth,” you bat your eyelashes and he knew that you knew exactly what you were doing. You were beating him at his own game and you didn’t even have to try.

You could see him staring at your tits and decided to have a little fun of your own. Two could play that game. You leaned over and moved up so that your tits were hanging in his face, moving them back and forth as you watched the drool dribble down his chin.

“Know you wanna suck on them.” Benedict’s eyes widened as he realized that he had created a monster. “Want to do it so bad, don’t you?” You asked. “I can see you drooling baby, now open up.” Benedict opened his mouth with no hesitation and his lips wrapped around your nipple, giving it a suck as he licked a stripe across it, causing you to gasp.

He sucked and licked as his hands moved to your back, pushing you farther down onto him so he had more access to you. He pulled the thing between his teeth and gave it a pull, eliciting a moan from your lips that was particularly higher pitched than the other ones. He had you right where he wanted you, pliant to his touch as he worked his magic.

“Benny,” you whined. “So good, Benny. Need more.” He bit down harder and you practically screamed at the sound, covering your own mouth this time, wondering how no one had caught you yet.

He quickly moved onto your other nipple and didn’t even work his way up to the bite, just going for it, pulling another loud scream from you. Once he was done, he pulled away, wanting to get a good look at your tits shining with his spit, the bruises already forming around your nipples.

“Are you going to stare at my tits all night or are you going to finally fuck me, Mr. Bridgerton?” You raised an eyebrow and that did it. He pushed you to the floor and pinned you there, pounding into you as he his hands moved to your wrists so you couldn’t move.

“Watch your mouth or it won’t end well for you.”

“Oh? And what are you going to do to me, daddy? Spank me?”

“Maybe later if you’re a good girl and listen to me. Right now, I’m going to absolutely rail you.” He pumped in and out the fastest he could, knowing that he was running out of time since the ball was ending and knew that Anthony would make a beeline for his office to work on paperwork like he always did late at night. If he caught the two of you, he’d have Benedict’s head.

He managed to finish inside you one last time as he heard the chatter of people leaving, letting himself actually moan because everything was so loud that people definitely wouldn’t have been able to hear him. Your moans mixed together as you felt him release and he pulled out of you as he heard someone stomping down the hallway.

You both hurried to put your clothes back on and Benedict helped you put on your undergarments, your hearts racing because you were convinced you were going to get caught. After you were good to go, Benedict took you by the hand and slowly opened the door only for it to creak loudly in the silence of the house.

You both cringed at the noise but he still pulled you out of the office but quickly pushed you back in, shutting the door behind you.

“He’s right behind me.”

You gave his hand a squeeze. “I’ll handle this.”

“How?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. You just run when I say to.”

“Yes ma’am.” You let go of his hand and slipped out the door only to literally run into Anthony causing the two of you to fall to the floor. Anthony was quick to pull you to your feet and you moved him further to the side so he wouldn’t see his brother slip out the door.

“What were you doing in my office?” He asked, and you were able to come up with something on the spot which was surprising to you since your mind usually went blank.

“I was just…looking for the bathroom.” Anthony definitely wasn’t buying that and needed to find out what was really going on.

“Y/n, what-“ as soon as you noticed that he was trying to get the truth out of you, you dropped to the floor and clutched your ankle.

Benedict took the opportunity to slip out of the room and head up the stairs as quickly as possible and you put on the performance of lifetime, pretending that you had hurt your ankle. God, he was so going to fuck you good for saving him like that.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Anthony asked as he dropped to his knees in front of you.

“My ankle,” you told him, tears welling up in your eyes. Anthony went to lift your dress but you pushed his hand away, not wanting him to see that you defiantly had not hurt your ankle. You watch Benedict ascend the stairs and decided that your work was done.

“Where does it hurt? Do you need a doctor?” Worry was written all over his face and you were trying to figure out how you were going to get out of your lie and get to Benedict who was waiting for you in his room, desperate and needy for your wet cunt. You stood up from the floor quickly as Benedict stood at the railing waving you over.

“Would you look at that,” you laughed nervously as you moved your ankle back and forth, showing Anthony that you were actually just fine and he just stared at you, not fully believing whatever you were hinting at. “I’ve made a miraculous recovery.” There was something weird going on and Anthony was going to get to the bottom of it, even if he wasn’t sure that he wanted to.

“Where’s the restroom?” You asked, a sheepish smile making its way upon your face and Anthony eyed you, not quite sure if he should have asked you what was going on. He didn’t think that it was his business and you didn’t seem to be in any danger, so he supposed that he could let it slide just this once.

“Just down the hall.” He pointed to the right and you made a beeline in that direction.

Once you were gone, Anthony shook his head and opened his office door, a gasp escaping his lips as he took in the state of the room. Every single thing that had been on his desk was in the floor, some of them broken. It looked like someone had broken in and he had absolutely no idea how it could have gotten like that when he knew that no one had entered the room the entire night. Unless…

Something wasn’t adding up. Had you trashed his office or worse, had someone harmed you while the ball was going on? He supposed that would have explained why you had been behaving so oddly. Or maybe you really had just been looking for the bathroom. He trusted you and had hoped that you wouldn’t have done something like that to him. The whole thing was giving him a giant a headache and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with it. That was, until he noticed a necklace on the floor under his desk, catching the light of a diamond necklace. He hadn’t recognize it, but maybe it was Kate’s. That would have been the only person who would have had any reason to enter the office.

Anthony pocketed the necklace then turned off his lamp, deciding that he would eat with the mess in the morning. It was too late and he was too tired to wrap his head around what could have happened during the party. Once the lamp was off, he made his way towards the door and opened it, looking around for you, but he supposed you just left and hoped that you had gotten home safely.

As soon as Anthony’s office door closed, you raced up the stairs to meet Benedict. He took you into his arms and pressed a kiss to your waiting lips before leading you to his room. As soon as the door was closed, Benedict pulled you in for another kiss, taking no time to lick int your mouth, his hands pushing up your dress up, but you pushed him away. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he wasn’t going to blame you for not wanting it. Maybe the moment had passed.

“What’s wrong, darling? Do you not want to fuck me anymore?” He jutted out his bottom lip and maybe earlier you’d have fallen for it, but not now. Not tonight. You were now aware of his game and had every intention of beating him at it.

“I didn’t say that,” you bat your eyelashes again and he was convinced that you knew exactly what you were doing now.

“Then what do you want? Name it and it’s yours.” Benedict expected you at least think about what you wanted, but you spoke before he could even take a guess.

“I want you to beg.” Pardon? You wanted him to what? Had he heard you right? Because there was no way that his little innocent darling was actually asking him to beg. That was his job. He figured you had at least had a few more rounds in you before you started ordering him around.

“What was that, darling?” He asked, leaning down so that his ear was right by your mouth. “I couldn’t quite hear you.” He could hear you quite well, but wanted you to repeat yourself with confidence.

“I said I want you to beg.” Your voice was the loudest he ever heard you and he loved how confident you were around him. How you were able to tell him exactly what you wanted and he’d give it to you on a silver platter.

“Y/n, what-“

“Down,” you pointed to the floor in front of you. “On your knees.” Benedict quickly obliged and lowered down onto his knees. His hands took yours and he pressed a kiss to each one.

“Please,” he begged and you almost gave it in right there, but wanted more. You wanted him to be on the verge of tears. You wanted him to be practically sobbing as he begged for you to bed him.

“I need a little more,” you told him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face into your stomach, pressing kissing to it.

“Please, please, darling. I need you,” he whined and you pulled his head away from you, tucking your finger under his chin and lifting his head to look at you. The devilish grin was now yours and he wasn’t sure how long he could last with his cock tenting in his pants.

“Gotta look at me when you say it, Benny. Wanna see your face when you cry out for me.” And the student became the master. That was it. He had nothing left to teach you.

“Darling, please,” he begged as he took a big swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, choking back tears. His hands stayed on your waist as his hands rubbed up and down them. “I promise I’ll be a good boy.”

“Oh, I know you will be,” you gave his cheek a pat before pulling him to his feet and he was having a hard time standing up, but he got there eventually. He pulled you into his arms, making sure that you were flush to his chest before pulling you in for yet another kiss, this one softer than the others.

Your hands slowly moved to his shirt and you unbuttoned it as his lips moved with yours, your tongue swiping along his bottom lip. He opened up and you let your tongue scratch along his roughly.

You got his shirt open and pushed him onto the bed, lowering yourself on top of him as you removed your dress in one swift motion before capturing his lips with yours once again. You removed your corset and let your body be flush with his and he loved the way your tits felt pressed against his chest.

Your hands reached for his breeches and you unbuttoned then pulled them down, his cock springing free, just as hard as it had been before. You settled onto his cock and began to ride him, moving slowly, your fingers digging into his chest as his hands moved to your waist. You watched him beneath you, his eyes on yours as let out moan after moan and he wondered how you had gotten so good at it after only riding him once.

“Know exactly how I like it, darling,” he groaned, his fingers digging into your hips.

“Yeah? You asked, your nails scratching down his chest. “So glad I can please you, Benny.”

“Could do this all night,” he said, his hands moving to your ass and you let out a yelp as he dug his fingers into them. You took his hands and pulled them up to your mouth, giving them a gentle kiss.

“No, Benny,” you shook your head. “We’re going to do it my way right now.”

“And what’s your way, hm?”

“Soft and sweet.”

“Darling, you’re definitely sweet, but you’re not soft,” he let out a chuckle and you proceeded to ride him, picking up your pace, but not exactly doing it how he was liking it. He didn’t mind, though. As long as you were on top of him, he didn’t care what you did.

He let out a moan as your hips bucked against his and you watched his back arch in pleasure as he reached his orgasm, his hands squeezing yours for dear life as he finished inside of you.

“Christ,” was all he had to say as he ejaculated inside of you, his back hitting the mattress as he let out a loud exhale.

You got off of him then lowered your body down onto his, pressing your lips to his in a sweet kiss. Your hands reached for his once again and you intertwined them, letting them rest together on the mattress.

Your lips moved down to his neck and licked a stripe across it, wanting to know what it tasted like. It was salty from the sweat and you liked the flavor on your tongue. Benedict talked you through giving him a hickey and you did exactly as he instructed and just by his moans, you could tell that he was coming undone underneath you.

“So good,” he whined. “You’re a fast learner.”

“Well, I’ve learned from the best,” you told him as you pulled away to get a look at your work, the skin a reddish purple and shining with your spit. Benedict pulled you down onto him and flipped the both of you over so he was the one on top and he moved your sweaty baby hairs down off of your forehead as a smile broke out on his face.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Miss l/n,” he said as he pressed a final kiss to your lips before pulling the covers over your bodies. He pulled you to his chest and placed a kiss to your forehead and you both closed your eyes, having no problem drifting off to sleep after all of the activities you just took part in.

“And the same goes to you, Mr, Bridgerton.”

You dreamed so peacefully that night, the only thing in your mind being Benedict and the beautiful life you could have built with him. You were hoping that after all the things that you did together that he’d make you his wife even if it was just wishful thinking.

#benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x y/n #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton smut #benedict bridgerton fluff #bridgerton

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pretty-blkgirl · 6 months ago

Note

It’s probably a stupid idea but imagine your at a Stray Kids concert, and your front row with your friends. Chan comes close to the edge on stage near you and winks to you. You think nothing of it because like he does that to everyone. But at the end of the concert he slips you a piece of paper with 1 single sentence. “After the concert, go to Hotel Grande and go to room B6.” You decide to go bc why not and you expect maybe Chan there or something but all of them are there, and they all are really horny. They always talk about wanting to date someone who knows nothing about stray kids but what if Stays are the ones who turn them on. Fem reader

Say Yes [Part One]

//fem!reader x 0t8!Skz//

Synopsis: You get slipped a note from your favorite idol to meet him at his hotel room, but he’s not the only one there

Genre: smut/suggestive, crack, fluff

Warnings: sexual situations, reader uses she/her pronouns

A/N: thank you @seoyeonleexoxo for the requestttt 🫶🏾

~~~~|~~~~

It was your first Stray Kids concert. Two straight years of saving up every spare dollar you had and camping out on Twitter for ticket sales finally paid off. Not only did you secure your tickets, but you and your friends got the front row- something you dreamed about since you started becoming a fan of Stray Kids.

You were beyond excited to see every member, but your bias -Bang Chan- was the one you were dreaming about. You know how he likes to flirt with stays, and you being in the front row meant you had a good chance at being noticed.

Hyunjin asked for stays to wear blue to the show, so you chose a solid baby blue romper that showed off every curve that you had. Your hair was out in wild, big curls and you chose simple silver jewelry.

The concert started with “Hall of Fame,” and you wasted no time in screaming your head off when the boys came into view.

The entire thing felt like a dream, and you got light-headed whenever a member got close to you. Sometime during Cheese, Chan came to your section to wave at Stays. You smiled so hard your cheeks hurt as you waved aggressively at him. He saw you and wasn’t shy about the quick once-over he gave you, then he winked before moving on to interact with other fans.

Your knees felt wobbly, and you could feel the way your friends stared at you after that interaction.

“Did he just wink at you?” Mia, the friend you’ve known since childhood asked.

“I think so,” you say, “Or maybe it was someone behind me?”

You turn around to see a good chunk of people looking right back at you. Some are envious and some curious, but all confirm the fact that Bang Chan just winked at you.

“He wants you girl” Tianna, your best friend since middle school, teases. You can’t help but roll your eyes once the boys go backstage to change. The lights in the stadium come on as you look to the screens to see the Stay games starting.

The first game has stays copy the boys' poses, you and your friends laugh as flustered fans appear on screen. Soon enough, the next game starts, a game where stays must do the choreography to random Skz songs.

This is the part of the concert you weren’t looking forward to, so you duck your head and try to stay clear of any cameramen. Some people scream and wave their arms to be put on screen, and you can only hope they get picked as the laughing staff goes to pick out people.

After three people dance to Gods Menu, Maniac, and Thunderous, you start to relax and enjoy the game. The last song, S-Class, comes up and you and your friends dance along to the practice video shown. After they show the video, you find yourself on screen smiling before pure terror graces your face.

You can’t even hear what the members are saying to you before your friends urge you to dance.

Did you do the choreography correctly? No. Were your friends dying laughing the entire time? Yes.

“Good job” You hear Han’s unmistakable voice say, “You’re so cool”

“And pretty” Felix’s deep voice continues before your face is replaced with the regular Skz logo

“Oooooh” Tianna teases, “You’re cool AND pretty? I’m jealous”

“You got three members fighting over you” Mia exclaims

“Hush” You stress, feeling glares on you, “It’s just fan service”

Tianna rolls her eyes, “Usually fan service involves all the fans”

The lights in the place dim, signaling the group is about to come back on stage. The glares you feel cease as the people around you start to scream their heads off

“Not all the time” you manage to say before the show continues.

In all honesty, you had a great time at the concert. The boys came over to your section a lot, especially Chan.

You didn’t want to believe he was making eye contact with you, and only you. However, it was hard to ignore the obvious looks he kept throwing your way. After a while, you began to count the amount of times his eyes found you in the audience; 25 times.

In a room full of thousands of people, how did he manage to look at you so many times? All your most delusional fantasies came to mind, thoughts that reminded you of when you first started to become a fan.

Cute thoughts of walking down the aisle with a member, some cute dates, and even a passing thought of a family. Just niche little things that crossed your mind as you fell more and more in love with the group.

Then there were the not-too-wholesome thoughts, the ones where you’re usually crying and begging to reach your release after hours upon hours of edging. These thoughts kept you up at night and usually involved more than one member.

You suddenly felt so dirty. Thinking about your idols in such a way while they throw kisses at the fans on the stage in front of you. You barely notice the lights come on and people start to leave the venue.

“That was so good” Tianna gushed, looking at you with a playful expression on her face. You knew the walk back to your hotel would be filled with your friends only reaffirming your delusions.

“I’m jealous y/n. I’d love to have Bang Chan eye-fucking me all night long” Mia said, making your face heat up.

You three walked out of the building and joined a crowd of fans waiting for the boys’ cars to leave the stadium.

“What if Chan comes out of the car and confesses his love for you?” Tianna teases

Mia giggles hysterically as the two continue with their joking, not paying attention as you’re flagged down by what looks to be a security guard.

“Is he asking me to come over there?” You ask your friends, making them stop and look at the staff.

“Looks like it” Tianna shrugs, “I think he was the security guard over by our section. Maybe you dropped something?”

You nod and jog over to the guard, looking back at your friends just to make sure they’re keeping an eye on you.

“Hello,” You say politely, “Can I help you?”

“You dropped this,” The guard says, handing you a mini quokka plushie that you’re only now noticing isn’t in your jacket pocket.

“Thank you so much!” You say, taking the plushie and beginning to walk off, that is until he grabs your attention again.

“I was asked to give this to you as well,” He says, handing you a rather thick envelope, “Put it in your pocket”

Before you can question it, he bows and walks off to where the other staff stands.

With your brain on autopilot, you stuff the envelope in your pocket and go back to your friends.

Mia wastes no time in asking what happened, and you tell them he gave you back your stuffed animal.

For whatever reason, you fail to mention the envelope in your pocket, and you silently celebrate when Tianna suddenly exclaims her stomach hurts and she wants to go back to the hotel.

The walk back is short, and you’re grateful that you all invested in your rooms.

The first thing you do is take out the envelope and open it. You see two folded pieces of paper.

One of them is a picture, one of the group that you’ve never seen before. It’s signed, and you instinctively look on the back and is surprised to see a message

“Go to the Hotel Grande, second floor, room B6, knock 4 times."

Already taken aback, you look at the other piece of paper to find an NDA.

“Oh my God” you whisper, quickly pulling out your phone to search the directions of the hotel. Only a 10-minute drive.

“This could be a trick,” You think out loud, “What if I get hurt?”

The rational side of you is urging you to think about the consequences of showing up to a random hotel, but the wild and unpredictable side of you quickly orders yourself an Uber and touches up your makeup.

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happy74827 · 1 year ago

Text

Chaos Theory

[Mike Schmidt x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: When Mike's crazy schedule finally aligns with one of the so-called "parental meetings" at Abby's school, he decides to see what it's all about. Little did he know he'd come to seriously regret that.

WC: 2,590

Category: Slight Fluff

I failed an exam today, so I wrote this to cheer myself up. I still feel pretty crappy, but this was really fun to write lol.

Also if you see any grammar mistakes, no you didn’t.

『••✎••』

When it came to Abby’s school, Mike was at a disadvantage. He couldn’t go to any of the parental meetings, not because he didn’t want to, but because he was constantly doing something work-related during the time those meetings were scheduled.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t keeping an eye on her grades and school attendance. It just meant he couldn't be there for the day-to-day things. Abby was a good kid, though; she never gave him trouble about the things he missed, and she did a pretty good job of keeping her grades up and attending all her classes.

Her teacher, you, was also very understanding of his schedule and position. He wasn’t sure how many teachers would have been as patient with him as you were. It was part of the reason he had grown fond of you, though it had been a gradual process that happened mostly unbeknownst to him.

At the beginning of the year, he had only been concerned about getting Abby acclimated to her new school. She was a quiet kid, stuck to her drawings, and it was even hard for him to get her to open up sometimes. Runs in the family, apparently. But, somehow, you were able to break down the wall that had been erected around her. Abby still didn't talk all that much, but she would always come back from school with a smile on her face. So, Mike was happy.

Then, like all good things, it came crashing down like a house of cards when his work schedule finally aligned with one of the “upcoming” meetings. This one was apparently a very big deal, and it was strongly implied to show up.

He hated these things despite never going to any before, but he just knew it would be filled with nosey people asking questions about his life. His sister. His “wife.”

God, he was already annoyed. The only saving grace was that it was the last meeting before the holiday break, so once it was over, he would be free for a while. Free to do what, exactly? Work, most likely, but a guy can dream.

The bell rang, signifying the end of the school day and the start of his personal nightmare. The door to the classroom was opened by one of the school's assistants, who held a clipboard in hand and waited for the “parents” to enter the room. He had arrived earlier than the scheduled time so he could speak to the assistant and find out what the meeting would entail, and already he knew it was a bad idea coming in here.

The woman was a nosy old biddy that was all too eager to learn the details of his and Abby's life.

He kept his answers short and clipped, but it did nothing to dissuade the woman. It got worse when he entered the classroom and saw the number of other parents who had shown up. He felt like an animal in a zoo; all the eyes followed his movements as he went to sit closest to the wall and away from the rest of the people.

The surrounding parents looked as though they lived in the next town over. They were clean-cut, hair styled perfectly, and clothes ironed. It was like they were trying to be a picture-perfect family.

He looked down at his own attire. His work boots were scuffed and dusty. His pants had a few grass stains from a recent job. His flannel shirt was buttoned wrong, and the sleeves were pushed up. Even his hair was a mess; he had tried to style it but didn't have much success, so he eventually gave up. The only thing going for him was that he had taken a shower before he left, so at least he didn't smell like sweat and grime.

As the meeting began, Mike had to try his best not to fall asleep. It was the typical teacher stuff. How the kids were doing. What the curriculum was for the following year. What their goals were. Blah, blah, blah.

Mike didn't care. He trusted you, and he knew his little sister was smart. She didn't need someone holding her hand and telling her what she was doing right or wrong. He knew this because he did that, and she didn't need it.

What did interest him, though, was the fact you kept looking his way. You didn't look at the others, and when you spoke, it was usually aimed toward them, but he saw the way you would look at him from the corner of your eye. He figured you were probably in shock that he actually showed up this time.

The meeting dragged on, and he was ready to leave. There were a few moments he had caught himself nodding off as he needed sleep, and this wasn't helping him. But then, like everything else in his life, the universe decided it was his time to suffer.

There was one woman who had sat at the front of the classroom. She wore her hair pulled back tight in a bun, her shirt was pressed, and her face was set in a permanent frown. He hated that lady; she reminded him of his good-for-nothing aunt who only wanted to criticize every choice he made.

The lady was also the mother of the most spoiled, brattiest child in the whole class. That damned kid had made it her life mission to torment Abby. He had come home more than once with her complaining about it, and when Mike had brought it up with you, you had told him that you had spoken with the parent.

That, of course, had done nothing. The child was an annoying pest, and he hated the way she treated Abby, but his sister had learned early on to deal with the bullying on her own. It didn't stop him from wanting to throttle the little shit, though.

The woman, the one who had started all his problems, took the opportunity to start a round of questioning. The first few were innocuous until they weren't.

"You seem to be a very patient woman." The woman had spoken to you, but her eyes were locked on him. "Is it a skill that was learned?"

The question itself was innocent enough, but the inflection and tone she used were meant to cut. He wasn't stupid. He knew she was alluding to something. It was always something, but he had to force himself not to say anything; the woman was a viper, and if he said something, she would attack without hesitation.

"I think anyone can be patient," You had responded diplomatically. "It's just a matter of the situation."

The woman didn't look happy with your answer, but she didn't pursue the line of questioning.

"Well, I couldn’t help but notice a certain someone who decided to finally drop in."

There it was. That was the opening.

Mike could tell you didn’t like the turn of conversation, and you were clearly trying to divert it elsewhere. It was no use, though. Mike could see the glint in the woman's eye as she prepared for the kill. She had a smile on her face, but her eyes were cold. "I was starting to think that Mr. Schmidt had abandoned his responsibilities. Wouldn’t be the first time someone in that family did such a thing."

He couldn’t help but have visions of his accidental mall incident from last year flash in his mind when he processed what the woman had said. He could easily hop over the desk and deck her right in the mouth. He had the muscle for it, and it was very tempting.

However, he would not.

If there was anything Mike had learned over the years, it was how to control his emotions, even if the situation was dire. The last time he had lost his cool, he ended up getting fired, but that was a long time ago… okay, not really, but the point was, he wouldn't make the same mistake again.

He wouldn't give the woman the satisfaction.

Mike leaned forward in his chair, arms crossed over his knees, and looked the woman straight in the eyes. "That's funny. I could say the same thing about your kid."

"Excuse me?!" She hissed, and she seemed offended. Good. He hoped she was offended.

"Okay, okay." You intervened, hands up as if to placate the two of them. "Let's keep this civil, okay? The last thing we want is to be kicked out of the school for brawling. That's not beneficial for any of us." You then looked back at the woman. "Let's not bring personal matters into this."

"Personal matters?" The woman was appalled at your statement, and her voice was so loud in the quiet room. He could tell many of the other parents were looking at them now, and he felt the weight of their gazes on him. It only made his anger spike. "That monkey of his tried to bully mine for three months now, and she's never done anything."

Monkey? Monkey?! Oh, he was going to kill her. It was one thing to talk shit about him; he was used to that, but Abby? No. Absolutely not. His little sister was the best damn thing to come into his life. He wouldn't have it.

But before he could say something, before he could even get out of the chair, you had done something he would never have thought you would. You got up and went to your desk, then you returned, holding a paper. You held it up for all the parents to see.

"This is a drawing my students did a few weeks ago," you started, and he was surprised at the level of calmness you were exuding. "The assignment was for them to draw the thing they loved the most."

Hearing those words, Mike had a feeling what was coming next, but he wasn't going to say anything. It would be like tempting fate. Still, he watched as you grabbed one of the papers, and then you turned it around so he could see it. Abby had done the drawing, and it was not only of him but of everyone else in her class as well. She had even drawn you standing near her with a kind smile. It was the picture she had brought home from that field trip months ago. It was a nice picture. Really nice. He liked it, and he knew Abby was proud of it.

"I made copies of every drawing so the parents could see them," You continued as you held out the picture for everyone to see. "So, tell me, would a bully do this?"

Your voice had a bite to it now, and he could finally see just how angry you were. He was surprised at how much control you were exerting. The other parents, however, were shocked at your sudden display of emotion. Even the woman, who had looked as though she was ready to take you on herself, looked like a deer caught in headlights. She didn't know what to say. No one said anything. Even he was shocked by your sudden outburst.

You were normally such a mellow person. Understanding, even. Always ready to listen, always ready to understand. You were the one who was there to help when something went wrong. You were the person who everyone turned to. You were… nice. You were a kind person. You were—you were just like Abby. That's all he saw in you now. You were just like his sister. You were just like her. You had that same determination and that same look of knowing something that others didn't, but there was also something else. You were a fighter, too. It was just something he hadn't noticed until this very moment.

You weren't the nice teacher everyone thought you were. No, you were more. You were the person he knew his sister was becoming.

"And to answer your question from before," you continued, ignoring the growing outrage from the other parent. "I'm a very patient woman because I understand that not everyone has the same opportunities. Some of us have a responsibility to provide the basic necessities for our family, which can often lead to not being able to attend these types of meetings.”

You looked directly at the woman when you spoke the last part, and you did not look happy. At all. In fact, he was pretty sure that was a little vein on the side of your head.

"Not everyone can be at their best every moment. Not everyone is at their best all the time. Not everyone has the privilege to complain about things not going their way. So, while I am a very patient woman, I will not have any of this derogatory about my students and their guardians." The calmness in your voice was gone, and your voice was rising, and you had started pacing back and forth behind your desk as you spoke. "Because if there is one thing that I cannot stand, it's someone who criticizes others just to make themselves feel better."

You went on to speak about your experience with the woman's daughter, explaining that a meeting needed to be called upon to address the issues with the child. You didn't stop there, though. No, you also spoke about how she should have addressed the situation when it was first brought up and how that, in turn, impacted the rest of your class. You had even pointed out some of the other parent's children who had done the same thing.

Suddenly, this meeting wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

It took a while, but once you finished your little speech, everyone had finally gotten over their shock and embarrassment. The meeting, as such, continued without incident, and by the time it was all said and done, Mike was ready to go home.

As he stood from his seat and made his way to the door, however, you stopped him. You had your bag in your hand and your coat on as well.

"I just wanted to—"

"You don't need to apologize," Mike cut you off. He didn't want an apology. He knew you weren't at fault here. In fact, he was surprised you took the time even to defend him. That didn't happen often. "I was expecting something like that to happen, but I appreciate you speaking up for Abby. She's got a good teacher."

He thought you would be embarrassed or even annoyed, but instead, your face lit up, and your cheeks turned red. "Oh, uh, well, it's my job. It was what I needed to do."

"Maybe, but you did it anyway. So, I appreciate it." He looked around the room and noticed everyone else had left. Even the nosy assistant had disappeared. He didn't know what to say, so he settled with saying the first thing that came to mind. "And hey, maybe next time you can tell them this is why I don't go to these meetings."

Your laugh was light, and you had a smile on your face. He liked the sound of it. He liked seeing it, too. He also liked the way it lit up your eyes. They had a beautiful color. So bright, so shiny. It was almost hypnotic.

"I'll consider it."

Mike wasn't sure how, but somehow, he knew you were telling the truth.

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 8 months ago

Text

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Five

Summary: You start a conversation with Jungkook about where you stand but are interrupted by an uninvited visitor Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Suggestive and explicit language (an argument). Nothing too crazy honestly. Horribly edited too because it's been three weeks and I wanted to get it out! a/n: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out but I was away from home for a week and then wrote a couple of one shots and blah blah blah lol but anyways I hope you enjoyyyy Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

After our eventful afternoon Jungkook and I ended up laying in his bed and watching movies since like he said, he wanted me to be "well rested" before we have the talk. The talk that could change everything between us...

There are multiple outcomes to this scenario and I'm not sure if I'm ready for any of them.

On one hand he could say this was all a mistake and he was just acting on his urges. I know now for damn sure though that he's attracted to me but I don't know what his motives and feeling are towards me. If he even has any besides surface level physical attraction.

On the other hand he could want to pursue a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Being fuck buddies or whatever with an older man does sound exciting when I think about doing it with him. It's just that don't know if I'd want something like that even if it was with him.

I told Jared before that I wanted to save myself for marriage and I feel like that's something I still want to stick to. I've definitely crossed so many lines with Jungkook in the last not even twenty four hours, more like twelve hours or something like that but regardless lines have been crossed and I'm still not sure how I feel about any of it.

I want to say that I don't regret it and it's not just because it felt fucking phenomenal and out of this world but because I feel safe with him.

It might just be because over the past couple of months that I've been living with him he's become someone I care about and honestly trust with my life so I didn't really feel a need to say no to him. I wanted it to happen, I know I did I just didn't really think it would ever happen. I thought that it would stay in my hormonal fantasies forever and I was okay with that.

The way he's been treating me has shown me that he cares about me. Although I was trying to convince myself that it was somewhat of a paternal instinct in him and that he was just being protective over me, I knew that it was something beyond that.

I tried to somewhat address it in a weird sort of way with the whole asking why he didn't have anyone over conversation and he knew what I was trying to ask and addressed it but his answer made me even more confused.

"I wouldn't want to ruin what we have going on here" like what does that even mean? He doesn't want to ruin the dynamic we have in the house in terms of we're comfortable with each other and feel no need to let anyone inside our little safe space.

Or did he mean that he didn't want to ruin what we have going on here because he wanted to see where things went with us on a more romantic level?

He hasn't explicitly told me that he would want to pursue a relationship with me but circling back to before he's given me clear signs that he's attracted to me and isn't one to hide it.

He knows to a certain extent that I find him attractive too because I asked him to take my virginity. (I'm never gonna be able to live that one down) Anyone could tell that he was clearly struggling to hold himself back and the fact that he kissed me just shows that he wanted to. That he wanted me.

Then there's another possibility that he might want a sugar baby sort of relationship and I don't even want to think about something like that.

Don't get me wrong! I respect the hustle, but that's just not for me.

If I'm gonna be doing something like what we are doing right now then I want it to be something that I want to do without any ulterior motive. I don't want to put a monetary value on the time I spend with him but not gonna lie, living it large and not having to worry about money or working sounds very tempting.

I don't think he's that kind of man though...or at least I hope he's not.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks playfully, having noticed that I haven't really been paying attention to the movie we've been watching.

"Just thinking" I answer, cuddling in closer to him as I've refused to let go of him today and he hasn't made moves to do any different.

"Bout what?" he prods further, placing a kiss on the top of my head and taking in the fresh scent of his shampoo in my hair.

"Things" I continue, liking the game we've started to play.

"What sort of things?" he chuckles, telling me that he's enjoying it too.

"All kinds of things" I say nuzzling closer into him and he wraps his arm tighter around me to keep me there.

"Wanna share a few?" he asks, clearly not letting this go since he wants to at least make sure I'm okay.

"Thinking about how you might want to make me your sugar baby" I mumble into his chest and he laughs wholeheartedly making me even more embarrassed.

"Is that something you'd want?" he asks and I shake my head.

"You don't wanna be at home and sit pretty, waiting for me to come back and shower you with gifts and jewelry and give you the world?" he teases while pinching my sides making me pull away from him, trying to escape.

"N-no! Now s-stop" I choke out through laughter and gasps of breath. "What would you want" he asks after having tackled me down onto the mattress making sure to do a thorough job of tickling me until I could barely breathe.

I take a second to think, my eyes going back and forth between his while his stay still, focused and almost begging for an answer.

"I thought we weren't going to have this conversation until I was well rested" I say, breathless, still not knowing up from down when it comes to us. If there even is an 'us'.

"You feel well rested?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I nod my head quickly, giving me a crooked smile in response. "Then it's perfect timing right?" he continues and I nod again leaving him getting off of me and leaning his back against the headboard, waiting to hear what I have to say.

I take a minute or so to gather my thoughts and the whole time he's watching me curiously, almost able to see the wheels turning in my head.

"What happened between us kind of caught me by surprise" I start, looking down at my lap and playing with my fingers nervously. "I don't regret it, it was just, well I'm just kind of confused about how you feel about me, and I'm really confused about how I feel about you" I admit and I can see his expression go a bit wary but I jump at the chance to explain myself.

"It's just that I think both of us know at this point that we're extremely attracted to each other" I start out and the corner of his lips upturns for a second but nods in confirmation, waiting for me to continue.

"With us getting physical and all so quickly I can't help but think that maybe we should take a step back. I would like to know your thoughts and intentions and feelings about all of this. I might be overthinking it but I really think it's best to be up front and honest with each other" I say and take in a shaky breath, scared I might've said the wrong thing.

"You're so sexy when you act so mature like that" he taunts and I groan, wanting to keep this serious. "I'm just playing Bunny. Well I'm not because you really are sexy but I don't want you to feel all nervous and insecure like you are right now. We're being open and honest right?" he questions and I nod my head, eager for him to continue.

"Meaning it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you that I have feelings for you right?" he says and my eye bug out in response, not knowing what to do now. "Wasn't expecting that huh?" he chuckles and I shake my head making him laugh even more.

"Cat got your tongue Darling?" he teases and scoff at that. "No I was just being polite and letting you keep talking since you let me do the same" I say, making excuses and trying to keep my voice level.

"Sure Bunny" he smirks not believing a word I said but continuing nevertheless.

"I've had feelings for you for a while now and I haven't told you or acted on it because I wanted to respect the fact that you were in a relationship. I never liked Jared though for what it's worth" he says without hesitation and it makes me cringe at the thought that I was about to marry that snake.

"Is it harsh to say I'm glad he's out of the picture?" he says boldly making me laugh. "Not just because it benefitted me but because he didn't deserve to marry a beautiful, intelligent, kind hearted woman like you. I would've said something but I'm not your father so I knew it wasn't my place" he finishes and making me smile, thankful that he was so considerate.

Now that I think about it, even back then I respected and trusted his judgement so it wouldn't have bothered me even if he did say something.

"It's not harsh to say because I'm happy about it too. To be honest though I don't really know what I ever saw in him. I think because he was the first guy that more or less respected my boundaries that I thought I had to hold onto him. I don't know" I say and he nods his head.

This is something I haven't experienced before. Someone sitting and taking the time to actually talk things out without any outside distractions and focusing on each other and hearing each other out.

Maybe it's just an age thing and the fact that Jungkook does fit the standard of dating older and more mature men is better. We're not dating though, but I guess we'll hopefully figure out where we stand once this conversation comes to a close.

"I'm really confused and I kind of don't know how to feel but I'm not closed off to figuring things out" I say, glancing up at him and back down at my lap, nervous from seeing how fascinated he is with me right now.

I hold my breath and wait for him to say something but when nothing ever comes I chance looking up at him again and I'm surprised to see how he's still watching me.

"Like I said, I've had feelings for you for a while and if you're open to seeing where things go then I would really like to take you out on a date. Like on a proper date. I know since we've been living together and we've been spending a lot of time together but I-" he start off strong but begins to ramble and is regretfully cut off by the sound of the front door opening.

"Dad! Dad where are you?" Jina calls out and neither of us dares to move or make a sound. "Dad" Jina drags out, regretfully confirming that I am in fact not dreaming. "Be down in a second" he says then presses a finger to his lips.

"Just stay in here and I'll take care of it" he whispers and I nod my head, watching him as he panics internally before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind him.

What the hell are we gonna do? My car is out there! Or wait, did I put it in the garage yesterday? I can't remember but I really hope it's not out there otherwise she'll already know I'm here.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook says. I can hear his muffled voice through the walls and I know I probably shouldn't listen but curiosity gets the best of me making me rush to the door and quietly crack it open, needing to hear how this conversation goes.

"Nice to see you too dad" she says, and I hate the fact that I'm only able to hear them but I'll settle for this.

"You should've contacted me before you came over Jina. You know I don't like people showing up unannounced" he says sternly.

"You're usually totally fine with me coming over" she says sounding thoroughly confused and I can hear Jungkook clear his throat before she starts again.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks after no doubt clocking the dishes that were left over from lunch. Two plates, two cups and two sets of silverware. A dead giveaway that someone is here especially since it hasn't been cleaned up yet.

"You are actually" he says and I trip, surprised that he would straight up admit it but he has no reason to hide, and neither do I.

Having pushed the door open thanks to my clumsiness (somehow able to stay upright and keep my dignity this time) I'm faced with the dilemma of if I should just go back inside and pretend that never happened when it clearly did or come out and face her.

I'm given the luxury of having that choice since she hasn't seen me yet but I decide it's better to do this as soon as possible. We've hid the fact that I've been living here for two months so what's adding on the fact that I've been messing around with her father while doing so.

(Although this is a newly added feature but she doesn't need to know that)

I take a deep breath before stepping out from behind the door, watching Jina's face go from surprised to confused to disgusted to angry before turning back towards her father.

"You're fucking my best friend?" she accuses, not completely wrong but semantics.

"Best friend's don't fuck around and get pregnant by their friend's fiancees" I remind her, walking down the stairs in conveniently only Jungkook's shirt making what's going on, or what's starting to go on between us even more clear.

"Oh grow up! It's not like there's anything we can do to change that now can we? Plus looks like you're doing just fine without him" she throws at me and from that moment I'm not pulling any punches. She wants to play dirty? Fine, let's play dirty.

"Jina stop it" Jungkook growls, going on the defensive, not being able to gauge what kind of mindset she's in or even her reasoning for coming here but wanting her out all the same.

"Grow up?" I chuckle dryly, "I guess you're right, I guess maybe I have started growing up since it seems I've matured enough to be with someone like your father. Which, last time I checked, wasn't someone you have any business in questioning on things like his sex life and who he does and does not partake in it with" I say, placing a hand on his bicep possessively and I feel the tension he had once held in his body start to melt away.

Interesting to know that I have this effect on him...

"Come on, we both know that you're probably just a piece of ass to him" she scoffs before turning to address him. "Didn't know you started picking up strays. I wondered where she had ran off to" she says, continuing to disrespect the both of us without a care in the world.

"Don't call her that!" Jungkook says, jaw clenched as a way to keep himself in check.

All I see is red though and the next words I hurl out are ones that I couldn't stop myself from saying even if I tried. The ringing in my ears fanning the flames of my agitation making it impossible to hold back.

"How's life being pregnant with my fucking ex boyfriend's baby? He's probably taking real good care of you huh?" I taunt, cocking a brow at her and from the way the color rushes to her cheeks and the words die in her throat are enough to tell me everything I need to know.

He hasn't done shit for her.

She balls her hands into fists by her side and lunges at me but Jungkook jumps in between us, grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around, forcing her out the front door.

"You're gonna throw me out and choose that slut over your own daughter?" she yells struggling to get out of his grasp the whole way.

"Last time I checked honey the only slut around these parts is you" I throw back, following right behind them and the way her jaw drops is just priceless.

"That's enough! Jina go!" Jungkook says through gritted teeth letting go of her once she's passed the thresh hold, leaving her standing there, looking between the two of us before scoffing and storming off down the driveway.

"I knew you were obsessed with her I just never thought you would bother acting on it" Jina spits out at her father and when she sees that he doesn't flinch she hurls more baseless lies and insults at the both of us.

"You know she's just using you to get a place to stay and get over her ex right? What happened to staying a virgin until you got married y/n? Huh? Guess getting cheated on really fucked you up" she spits while unlocking her car.

"And I guess fucking around with an ego-driven two-timing narcissist gets you pregnant" I throw back and she purses her lips before sinking down in her car, accepting defeat this time and leaving like her father told her to.

"Say hi to Jared for me" I call out, waving at her as she grips the steering wheel until her knuckles have gone white, putting it in drive and backing out of the driveway.

I walk over to the couch and let out a big sigh once I've sat down, throwing my head in my hands as a way to ground myself.

Breathing through this dizzy feeling from that whole confrontation that I had not been prepared for is a lot tougher than I thought it would be, my whole body still buzzing.

I hear Jungkook close the door behind him after having watched her speed down the street, still worried for her safety but also wanting to make sure she was actually gone. What happened just now was enough of a confrontation to last me a lifetime, or at least it feels that way.

"Hey" he whispers, kneeling in front of me and rubbing my back, "Are you okay?" he continues and I nod my head, feeling the tears prickling in my eyes, calling my bluff.

"Come here" he whispers, sitting on the couch next to me and pulling me onto his lap, rubbing my back again and holding me while I let out some of those tears I had held back.

"I don't even know why I crying" I say, sniffling and sitting back up to dry my eyes.

"No one likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about. Well, nobody sane likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about" he says, trying to lighten the mood and it does the trick making me scoff a bit, smiling at his efforts to make me feel better.

He cups my face and wipes a few tears that had fallen, looking at me with his brows pinched together as if his heart is breaking with mine.

"But you still care about her though, don't you?" he asks and I nod my head. "It's hard not to" I admit, getting off his lap and sitting next to him which makes him angle his body to face mine, taking hold of one of my hands, encouraging me to speak my mind.

"She's been my best friend for the past six years. That's not something that can magically be turned off for me. I know what she did to me was devastating and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for it. I'm still trying to heal from it all so I don't know, I couldn't help but defend myself, and you. I'm sorry you had to see that" I say, mumbling the last part and feeling so much regret for saying those ugly things about his daughter right in front of him.

"Everyone has a right to defend themselves and when you're being attacked like that, you can't help but say hurtful things. She had no right and she knew that and wanted to hurt the both of us anyway" he says and I take a deep breath before turning my attention back to him because she said just as many hurtful things to him as she did to me.

"Are you okay?" I question, tightening my hold on his hand to hopefully encourage him to be vulnerable with me as well.

He nods his head with a sad smile and waits a beat before saying anything and I hold my breath until he does.

"No one wants their daughter to end up in the kind of situation she put herself in or see the people that they care about hurting but what she said didn't hurt me" he says and I nod my head, paying attention to his hand that I have placed in my lap, tracing the swirls of ink with my eyes as they travel further up his arm.

"What did hurt me though was the way she was talking about you. You know that's not how I feel about you at all right?" he says, tilting my face up towards him making purposeful eye contact with me, needing to know that I believe him.

"I know" I nod, giving him a sad smile accompanied by my still glossy eyes making him even more sad seeing how upset all of this has made me.

"Can I do anything to make you feel better?" he asks, cupping my face and keeping my eyes on him when I try to turn them away. "No, I'll be okay" I shake my head and he studies my features before nodding and accepting my words at face value.

"Okay, do you wanna go back up to my room? You can sleep in there with me if you'd like" he says, brushing a tear dampened strand of hair out of my face.

I give him a mischievous smile, telling him I know what he's up to but he pulls away and puts his hands up in a way to defend his motives.

"Just sleep, I promise. Scouts honor" he says, crossing his heart and I laugh at his playfully defensive nature. "Sure" I say, taking hold of his hand while he stands up and leads me back to his bedroom.

~~~~

After having talked a little bit more about what had happened the topic of conversation circles back to what we had been in the middle of before she showed up.

"So earlier it seemed like you wanted to ask me a question" I say, taking a sip from my soda that had come with the take out we had ordered hours ago, toying with the straw and keeping his attention.

"Yeah? And do you know what your answer might be to said question?" he teases, wetting his lips and keeping his eyes trained on mine.

"You have to ask the questions first Daddy" I say placing my drink down on his nightstand and when I turn to face him again he's tackling me down on the bed peppering kisses all over me.

"Stoooppp" I giggle and he laughs along with me before leaning back to hover over me. "Will you go out with me?" he asks and I can tell that this whole moment has him feeling like a teenager again.

"I thought you'd never ask" I say, running my fingers through his hair making him lean into my touch.

"You can't take it back though. Once we do this I won't ever let you go" he husks out, placing a kiss on my palm and I shutter at the feeling. "Then don't" I breathe out making a flame of desire flash through his eyes.

"You're gonna get yourself in trouble you know that?" he warns, placing a kiss on my nose before getting off me and turning off the tv. "Hey! I was watching that!" I pout "No you weren't" he chuckles. "Plus it's time to go to bed. We've got a big day ahead of us" he says, getting under the covers and motioning for me to do the same.

"Big day?" I question, not remembering we had something on the agenda this weekend. "I may or may not have planned out our date this morning while you were still in bed Sleeping Beauty" he says, pulling me onto his chest but I sit up pulling away from him with my brows scrunched together.

"How were you so sure I would say yes?" I scoff, shocked by his bold assumption. "From the way I've been making you moan my name I figured you wouldn't mind going on one date with me in return" he says and my jaw drops, throwing the covers off myself and making a break for it but he yanks me back towards him making me flop down on the bed.

"You can't just say things like that" I whine, hands over my eyes as a way to block him out of my vision and hide the very apparent blush that I'm sure is starting to bloom.

"Am I wrong?" he taunts, placing kisses on my neck and collarbone, dangerously close to making me moan his name again.

"You're no fair" I say, pushing him off and giving him my back making him chuckle at my shy behavior. He lays down and pulls me back into him. My back now against his chest and his hand placed on my hip where I'm again reminded that I'm only wearing his shirt and my under ware.

"Keep your hands to yourself Mr." I tease while prying his hand off me. "Come on darling, you know I'm a man of my word. Just sleep, nothing else" he says, this time sliding his hand further up to hold onto my bare waist.

"Fine" I grumble out and he laughs and nuzzles his nose into my neck, taking another deep breath, flooding his senses with my scent.

"Goodnight Bunny" he mumbles against my skin. "Goodnight Daddy I tease and am rewarded with a slap on my ass.

"Did, did you just spank me?" I say trying to wiggle out of his hold but he's already got his arm wrapped around my waist again. "I told you that pretty little mouth of yours was gonna get you into trouble didn't I?" he says, switching to rubbing his hand along the tender flesh he just struck, caressing it in a way to ease the pain.

I pout and settle back into the bed, not dignifying his words with a response. It's only when I accidentally move my hips backwards do I freeze from gaining a soft moan from him, no doubt caught off guard from the contact of my ass up against him.

"Sorry I didn't mean to I-" "I know Bunny, just go to sleep" he says placing a kiss on my neck and holding my hips in place, putting a little more space between us.

As I slow my breathing to a steady one I start to lull myself to sleep but I flinch at the sound of his cute snores in my ear. 'Something I'll have to tease him about in the morning' I giggle to myself and take his hand off my hip, choosing instead to hold it against my chest having him surrounding me. Soon I'm slipping into that dreamland he had drifted off to moments before, safe and warm being in his arms.

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very-straight-blog · 6 months ago

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It really tires me how some fans try to make Aegon look like an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anything. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character as such. Of course he cares, that's literally the essence of his personality. He cares. He and Aemond both feel too much emotion, but if Aemond sublimates into self–improvement, trying to be strong, cold and detached, then Aegon is literally an open wound. I want to talk about this, also using Tom's interviews (yes, I think the actor's opinion is valid in this matter) and the few scenes that we have in the first season.

We know that Aegon didn't want the throne and wasn't ready to rule. The scene with Alicent, who explains to him the prospects for the future of their family, seems very traumatic to me. Imagine what it's like to know from your childhood that the lives of people close to you depend on you, on how strong you'll be. Such a burden can destroy anyone. You can't just ignore it.

Next, we're shown how Aegon drinks on Driftmark. And that's a pretty sad sight - several cups in a row, wincing, as if taking a medicine that will help him to feel better.

Actually, I like the theory that he gets drunk after Aemond says that Helaena is his future queen. Another reminder that he'll have to marry his own sister, for whom he has no feelings. And he drinks because he tries to numb his pain.

The same goes for his obviously unhealthy attitude towards sex - he uses it to numb his loneliness. I believe that Aegon literally didn't have the opportunity to feel what love is in any form. His father disliked him and showed it openly. His mother loved him, but she never knew how to express it the way he needed to. He was married to his sister (the tragedy for both of them) and it was a matter of duty, not feelings. At the time of the first season, Aegon is deeply unhappy and this is obvious. I have every reason to believe that his need for physical intimacy is based on the fact that this is the only form of love he can receive. Considering that Aegon is quite smart, I even think that he himself understands how ugly this form is, but there's nothing he can do. During the act, I guess in some unhealthy way it really saves him from loneliness, longing and the need to be loved, but in the end it makes him even more unhappy.

Then it's impossible not to remember the eighth episode and the famous:

It's still clear that family is important to him. Yes, he feels like a stranger among his relatives, but it hurts him just because he cares. He cries and says "it will never be enough for you or father" because he wants it to be enough. He still loves them and wants them to love him back.

"What Aegon wants more than anything is to be told by his dad ‘I have faith in your capabilities as a young man. I see you bringing prosperity to King’s Landing.’ But he hasn’t said any of those things. His dad has completely ignored him, in fact, throughout his entire youth." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Esquire

Next, we can move on to episode nine and the fact that Aegon ran away. I've seen a lot of opinions that this is an indicator of selfishness and like...what? He was scared. This follows from the script:

He was scared, he'd never leave his family, much less Sunfyre. It was a decision made in a panic when he realized that his father had died and the moment he had feared all his life had come - he needed to accept the crown to protect his family.

During the conversation in the carriage, we see that Aegon was really hurt that his father didn't love him:

He even said "because he didn't like me" when talking about his father's attitude towards him. He didn't use the word "love" because it was obvious to him that his father didn't love him. He used the word "like", unknowingly emphasizing that he couldn't count on even simple sympathy.

He's also well aware that Viserys could have named him the heir, but didn't do so simply because he didn't want to and because of this, he - the eldest son, feels unworthy of the throne, and also completely lost.

When Alicent tells him that Viserys wanted to make him the heir before his death, an emotional dam breaks inside him, it's literally written in the script:

And at this moment, looking at the dagger, he's not even listening to Alicent, he's completely in his thoughts - maybe, at least for a second, his father cared about him. And when he asks his mother if she loves him, we see how much he craves love, how broken he really is, how important his family is to him.

I know this post is insanely long and I haven't even analyzed the various microexpressions in Tom's acting, but I'm really tired of people wanting to make Aegon something pure evil.

"I also see Aegon as being incredibly complex. He's not an out-and-out psychopath. I see a multilayered character that just has endless potential of pits of vulnerability and empathy and things that we don't see. I think it's his vulnerability that breeds the darkness. It's the way he copes, it's his security, it's his safety blanket, it's an addictive coping mechanism for him to shut things out and to be cold." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Entertainment Weekly

#aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #tom glynn carney #house of the dragon #hotd #team green #pro team green #THIS POST ATE MY SOUL #opinion

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daycourtofficial · 6 months ago

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I will follow you into the dark

Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 3k | warnings: character death, depictions of violence and gore, depressive tendencies shown

Summary: going through the five stages of grief after Azriel’s death is much easier with his shadows’ assistance

Alternate summary: “daycourtofficial stabs everyone in the heart” - @milswrites

Author’s note: this is heartbreaking as hell but I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever written. I legitimately sobbed while typing this. Tagging my pookie @illyrianbitch bc I sent her an early draft and her fic ‘when the heart is still longing’ inspired a scene in this

Cold. Ruthless. Calculated.

Words used to describe who Azriel was for the first five hundred years of his life. He wore a mask of indifference, a cold exterior to the world, letting them believe he was nothing more than the cruel exterior he showed everyone past his beloved family.

Until he met you.

You, whose extraordinary kindness and never ending patience for him helped him through the darkest pits of his soul.

It’s this past self he thinks about as the blade meets his skin, tearing through layers of muscle, blood spilling down his chest as it’s removed.

It’s this past self he reaches out to, begging for one moment to go back. To go back and save himself so much time. He would go back, his wings carrying him across Prythian, his landing harsh as he sprinted through your hometown.

He wouldn’t stop until he knocked on your door, his knuckles aching from how hard he would knock. He’d give anything to go back, even if it was just an extra forty-five minutes. He would run until his lungs burned, his legs barely able to hold himself up. He’d run down the cobbled street the two of you would walk down after a night at Rita’s, leaning against each other for support after a night of drinking.

He’d run past the bakery the two of you would meet at every Thursday morning, splitting pastries between the two of you and gossiping about your friends. He’d run up the stairs to your apartment, running up the steps you two walked thousands of times. He’d stop in front of that green door, the spot you two stood in for your first kiss.

He would knock and knock and knock, his fingers bleeding from how hard his knuckles were hitting the wood. He’d look at you as you opened the door, confused as to who he was and what he was doing there.

“You don’t know me, but in a few days I’m going to run into you at the bookstore. I’ll be with my friend Nesta and she’ll push me into you. She’s never admitted it, but I think she saw how I was staring at you and did it to force me to talk to you.

“You were so pretty, paging through some novel. I owe Nesta everything for pushing me into you, making me fall into the chair you were sitting in. It looked ridiculous - Nesta made sure to let Feyre broadcast it to everyone.

“I never cared. You were everything then, and you’ve been everything to me for over a century. What I wouldn’t give to come back here, to find you earlier, even just forty-five minutes. I’d give anything for more time with you.”

His eyes would peer around the apartment you moved out of decades and decades ago, moving all of your furniture into the house a ten minute walk from here. It would all smell like you, not a trace of him on you yet.

He would beg and plead with any god as to why he deserves just one extra minute of your time.

But he’s not in that apartment that you don’t own anymore, he’s somewhere in the present, he thinks. Azriel’s not sure where he is, but he reaches out towards you, trying to send every ounce of his love down that bridge that connects the two of you. He reaches a hand out, wanting to hold you one last time. He can feel your fear thrumming his chest as your hands frantically apply pressure to his neck, trying desperately to stop the bleeding.

He interrupts your pleas, stroking his fingers on your cheek, smearing his blood across it.

You’re here, he thinks.

He loved making you blush, your own blood changing the color of your cheeks as he flirted with you. Now his own blood was coloring your skin, a last marking of himself on you.

Every word from his mouth caused the blood to gush from his wound, but he didn’t care. He was fighting for every breath, every word. He knew this was the end. He was just grateful to the Mother that the last thing he’d see in this life was you.

He chokes on his blood, coughing exacerbating the wound.

“In every life.”

He pulls himself up, using your shoulders to brace himself. He pulls your lips to his, soft and delicate, as if it’s the first time he’s kissing you all over again. As if you’re back on that cobblestone street, the two of you standing right in front of your door, a mess of limbs and lips.

The blood on his neck is traded for the tie he wore, one that you had complimented him on as you saw him. You had pulled him down to you by his tie, pulling him to your lips.

And now he was pulling himself up to you, a final goodbye.

He pours everything into it, pouring every last bit of himself through the string connecting the two of you, clinging desperately to that connection for every moment.

You kiss him back just as urgently, hands holding his wounds. His mouth is salty as your tears start running into the kiss, your hands sticky and warm with his blood.

Your kisses become more and more urgent as he starts losing energy, your sense of urgency increasing as he starts fading, that golden bridge connecting the two of you not as bright as it was with each passing moment.

You know he stopped kissing you back a moment ago, but you can’t bring yourself to stop. This should be a fairytale and true love’s kiss is enough to bring someone back.

You pull back, moving his face into your neck, unable to let go. You can’t hear anything except the echo of where your bond was, as if it clanged all the way down your body as it disconnected you from him. You feel someone grip your shoulders, desperate to pull you away from your mate. Your sobs are piercing as you tighten your grip on him.

He’s still warm, he can come back. Still warm, he’ll be back. You start rocking with him in your arms, your tears creating tracks in the blood on your face. A body is pressed to your back, large and warm, and large tan hands cover your own on Azriel’s face. You hear slight sounds, you think it might be Cassian, but you’re not sure.

You don’t feel his tears on your neck

All you feel is a deep, gaping hole inside of you where Azriel lives.

Lived.

Your breaths come fast and choppy, and you start jerking in Cassian’s arms, the feeling of him too much, too much. You felt suffocated, your powers boiling within you as his body grows colder.

His shadows slithered over you, several of them still remaining with their master. Their patterns were meant to be soothing, but it wasn’t working. Several of them cloak Azriel in mourning, their usual energetic nature dulled in the aftermath.

The air in the room changes as all the heat is sucked into your body, your skin blazing. It happens so quickly - you feel Cassian pull away from you as someone slides Azriel’s body from yours, somebody else rushing forward and tackling you to the ground. Instead of hitting hard flooring, your head hits grass, your body racing with adrenaline.

You look up to find Rhysand letting go of you before backing up. He has tears down his face, his eyes a muddier shade of violet than before.

“Let it out. Here. Now.”

Your skin is boiling, everything in you desperate for release. All you feel is the tendril of a lone shadow around your ankle as you burn. You can’t hear Rhys’s sobs, only the roaring of the fire as the grass catches the spark.

The next week goes by in a blur. A funeral - one where the town of black wore deep blue to honor your mate’s lifetime of sacrifice. A few shadows remain with you, the only reason you’re able to get through his funeral is with their touch.

“Hey Az.”

The grass is wet with dew, the early morning fog sticking to it. You don’t notice how damp the ground is beneath you as you sit next to him. Your hands grasp the grass next to his grave, the dirt over his grave too fresh for anything to be growing on top of it.

Your fingers thread through the blades, holding tightly, as if you can uproot them and pull him back to the surface, back to you. As if you kept digging you could find that bond nestled within you somewhere.

Your lip wobbles as you try to say something, anything. The various flower arrangements that surround you both speak of how many visitors he’s had.

He would tell you that the bouquet of orange lilies are from Elain, because those are currently in bloom in Day. He would tell you that the arrangement of blue and black came from Rhysand and Feyre, the flowers meaning ‘a great sacrifice’.

You can’t bring yourself to tell him how the world has become duller in his absence, how you hardly eat or bathe, hardly leave your home at all. How Nesta and Feyre take turns visiting you, ensuring you eat and bathe, getting you to move your legs at least once a day.

He’d be disappointed you weren’t taking care of yourself. He’d want you to continue on, despite the unbearable horrors that live in your chest. It felt like your entire ribcage were burst open, your pain and sadness leaking out of every pore for all to see.

Despite the fact that centuries together have led you here, at the end of the road. A road you happily traveled, knowing it would end here eventually.

You’d never regret choosing him, opening yourself up to this inevitable heartache.

You just regret every moment that happens now that he’s gone.

His shadows have followed you to the cemetery, their presence one you’re grateful for. You know they love you, much like Azriel did, and you’ll take any part of him you can cling onto.

You know they’ll leave eventually. No one understood them. Were they sentient beings? Or were they mere whispers of Azriel’s presence, an echo of an echo of his power, disappearing whenever they wish?

You sit, your back leaned against his tombstone, the words “beloved mate” pressing into your back. You moved over, wanting to be as close as possible to him. You don’t much care if the dirt sticks to your skirts. Nuala and Cerridwen won’t say anything to you. They felt his absence too.

You push your hand into the dirt, grasping at it in hopes he’ll grasp your hand back. All you feel are the shadows swarming your fingertips, imitating his soft touch.

You lay in your bed, the one that is much too large without your mate. The shadows cloak over you like a blanket, carrying his smell with them.

They missed him too.

You sealed some of Azriel’s clothes away, a magical enchantment that preserved their smell. You were grateful you had the shadows for now, however fleeting their presence may be.

Where Nesta and Feyre helped you bathe, the shadows helped keep your room clean. You stayed in the House of Wind, everyone agreeing you shouldn’t be alone during this time. That was weeks ago, you think.

You’re not really sure.

Time wasn’t moving like it used to anymore. Hours and days pass without your notice, a gray fog hanging over you at all times. You move through the monotony of grief, unaware of your surroundings or how you get anywhere half the time.

You blink and find yourself at his grave.

“It was supposed to be me,” you half yell at the grave marker, your blood getting warmer with your anger.

You hate it. You hate how everything he was, six centuries of a life well-lived, were boiled down to adjectives and monikers.

“Beloved mate.”

“Beloved brother.”

You hated those words, as if that’s all he were. The words don’t tell how he would pick you up when you fell asleep reading and carry you to bed, how he’d help you cheat every time you played cards against Cassian because you laughed so hard whenever he flipped the table, or how his fingers would brush the hair from your face when the two of you cooked dinner every night.

‘Beloved’ is nothing to how your chest felt when he’d come home and see you before he updated Rhysand after being gone so you knew he was okay.

‘Brother’ is not enough to convey how much he loved Rhysand and Cassian, how much love and sacrifice they poured into each other.

“You said I could go first. You promised. And now I’m here, alone, without you. And I don’t- I don’t know how to do it.”

You were yelling, screaming at this slab of granite. You kicked the flowers on the grave, watching them fly through the air as the petals fell.

Yellow for friendship.

“It was supposed to be me! Not you!”

You tug at your hair before you lose all your strength, sinking into the grass covering his grave. Your tears resemble morning dew as they cling to the grass, your knees becoming green with the contact. A few shadows wind through your hair, a few others bring back the bouquet you kicked, placing the flowers back where they were, albeit a bit damaged.

“You’ve never broken a promise before.”

Your voice is weak, the stone in front of you unresponsive to your breakdown.

Life moves on. Everyone feels Azriel absence - even Lucien, so full of words is quieter around you. They don’t know how to talk to you anymore, your life becoming more and more hollow as the mating bond in your chest decays, growing into a moldy, decaying thing that turned you rotten.

Why him? Why couldn’t it have been anyone else? Why was it your mate - the one who sacrificed everything all of the time? Why wasn’t it Cassian or Rhysand or any of his spies?

Anyone but him.

You’d do anything.

The days keep moving, the forward progress of time a joke to you. Or perhaps you were the joke to the Mother. You slug through the days, finally able to bathe and dress yourself, but struggling to remember to eat.

Then the voices start.

It’s one soft voice, one you could hear in any lifetime, any world and know who it belonged to. His voice soft as ever delicately telling you to eat, coming and going on the wind around mealtimes.

You listened to it. You could never stay no to him, even if it was just an echo of him living in his shadows.

It was well known amongst his family members that Rhysand required his beauty sleep. Eight hours minimum of undisturbed slumber.

Which is why he is tearing through his house on a warpath at whoever is at his door at 2:30 in the morning. He angrily slung on a robe, harshly opening his door, ready to chew out who lay on the other side.

He did not expect to find you, panic stricken, shadows swirling around you.

Your sobs fill his ears, “they won’t stop, Rhys. They keep telling me everything. That Feyre’s asleep, Nyx is asleep and cooing. Cassian’s snoring, Nesta’s awake and brewing tea. They won’t stop.”

You start to collapse, but the shadows hold you up long enough for Rhysand to grab you and bring you in through the threshold.

He places you down on the couch and inspects the shadows swirling around you. He watches them flit about, some moving away, some circling you. He steps on one as it slithers past him, holding it in place.

He looks at you as he grabs the shadow, holding it between his thumb and forefinger, watching it wiggle in his grasp.

“Is this the first time they’ve spoken to you?”

You shake your head no, whispering, “they speak one at a time usually. And not like this.”

His gaze is sympathetic, sitting you on his sofa. “What do they usually say?”

You look down at your shoes, a sense of shyness overcoming you. You pick at your pants, “mostly to eat and take care of myself.”

You hum, remembering, “last week one of them told me Nyx was going to fall, which is how I caught him so quickly.”

Rhys’s eyes are penetrating as he gazes at you, his eyes are a curious shade of violet.

“Can we try something?”

Months later, you return home, the black of your clothes hiding the blood soaked within them. You traipse through the foyer, forgetting it was even family game night. Their conversations halt at your appearance. Despite wearing the same colors of the Night Court, the black looks like a deeper shade on you.

Or perhaps the shadows circling you made you look as if you belonged amidst them rather than the fae looking at you.

You nod to Rhys, your only form of communication these days. He nods back, a strained smile on his lips, devastated to watch what you’ve become, grateful he made a pact with Feyre to never continue on without her.

You don’t miss how his hand squeezes her a little too tight.

Your family watches as you step back into the shadows, the darkness consuming you once more. You prefer to stay in them instead of being alone. You linger in their embrace, their consumption of you everything you need, the remnants of Azriel’s scent lingering in this liminal space. You inhale his scent once more, tears stinging your eyes. In the darkness that surrounds you, never knowing where you end or begin, not knowing exactly where in the world you were.

Where nothing and everything existed, floating through your mate’s truest companions, you hear his voice calling to you, the soft tenor of his voice coming from a direction you can’t quite pinpoint.

Or perhaps it was only an echo.

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