#/ placing this between act 2 and 3 awkward dancing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adoresia · 1 month ago

Note

A few things...

1. Choso

2. Server/Bartender

3. Mutual Pining

I work at a Brewery, and I have this little fantasy of Choso being a server/bartender, and it's driving me nuts. Pls help 🙏🏽

— Poured affections

⋆.˚ Pairing : bartender!Choso x reader Double perspective

⋆.˚ Warnings : slowburn, fluff, mutual pinning

⋆.˚ Synopsis : Synopsis: You are a regular at a local brewery, drawn to the quiet, awkward bartender, Choso. Unbeknownst to you, Choso is equally captivated by you but doubts you’d ever notice him. As you approach him for a drink, mutual pining and subtle tension build between you both, neither realizing the other feels the same. The story explores the quiet, unspoken connection between two people who think they’re out of each other’s reach.

⋆.˚ Sierra here! : TYSM FOR THIS REQUESTTT😚 I see you guys are enjoying bartender/coffee worker Choso and tbh I really cannot blame you guys fr😭 I had to search up what mutual pinning was and ask my friend LMAOOO 😭😭so I hope I got the right portrayal🙏, I hope you enjoy this anon😋!

It was a typical Friday night. The brewery was packed with people, and the noise of laughter, clinking glasses, and music filled the air. Choso stood behind the bar, hands busy mixing drinks, but his eyes? His eyes were drawn to you again. You were here almost every week, always with your friends, laughing and dancing without a care in the world. He tried to keep his focus on his job, but every time you moved, his attention would drift back to you. The way you moved across the floor, how your body swayed to the rhythm of the music—it was impossible to look away. Your dress hugged you in all the right places, and the way the dim lights highlighted your skin only made it worse for him. Every time you laughed, it sent a strange warmth through his chest, like he was hearing something he wasn’t supposed to.

Choso swallowed hard, trying to focus on the bottles in front of him, but even his hands were shaking. What would he even say if you came up to the bar tonight? It wasn’t like he could ever keep it together around you. The last time you had asked for a drink, you leaned forward and flashed you a teasing smile.

“A ginger ale, please, handsome,” you had said, and he’s nearly spilled the bottle all over the bar.

Handsome. You were still thinking about that word days later. “Did she say it casually? Did she even mean it? She probably called all the bartenders that, right?” He shook his head, trying to snap himself out of it. There was no way you meant anything by it. He was… just him. Awkward. Clumsy. Not someone a girl like you would be interested in.

He fumbled with another glass, eyes drifting back to you as you danced with your friends. You looked so confident, so effortlessly beautiful. He, on the other hand, couldn’t even get through a conversation with you without stumbling over his words. You probably didn’t even notice him beyond the drinks he served you. Why would you? He was just a bartender. Someone who watched you from afar, wishing for something that would never happen.

But despite knowing that, he couldn’t help but watch. Every time you laughed, every time your eyes sparkled under the dim lights, his heart did a little flip. And as much as he hated it, part of him hoped you’d come up to the bar again tonight, just to hear you say his name, even if it made him blush like an idiot. Even if it made his heart race in ways he couldn’t control.

And then, like fate was playing a cruel joke on him, you made your way toward the bar. His breath hitched. He quickly turned to busy himself with a stack of clean glasses, pretending he hadn’t been watching you the entire time. Maybe you wouldn’t notice how flustered he was. Maybe you wouldn’t realize how nervous you made him, just by looking in your direction.

But as you got closer, his hands trembled again. What was he even going to say? How was he supposed to act cool when you were this close, when the air between you was charged with something he didn’t understand but couldn’t ignore?

He just had to survive the next few minutes. That was it. Just a drink. Nothing more.

The brewery was alive, filled with the hum of conversations, laughter, and the pulse of music. You danced with your friends, swaying to the beat, but even in the midst of the crowd, your attention was elsewhere. Or, rather, on someone.

Choso.

He was always there, behind the bar, working quietly, head slightly lowered like he wanted to blend into the background. You couldn’t help but notice him every time you came here. His dark, brooding appearance drew you in, but it was his subtle awkwardness that kept you curious.

Even now, as you moved to the music, your gaze flickered over to him. Choso stood there, drying glasses, his eyes darting across the room. Every so often, you caught him watching you. Or at least, it seemed like he was. He never stared for long—just a quick glance before he busied himself again. It made your stomach flutter in a way you couldn’t explain.

You couldn’t help but wonder what went through his mind when he saw you, if he even thought much of it at all. Choso always seemed… distant, in a way. Not rude, just reserved, almost like he didn’t know how to engage with people the way the other bartenders did. And yet, there was something about him that made you want to try and figure him out.

As the night wore on, you found yourself dancing less, your feet tired, and your mind wandering back to him more often. The dress you wore clung to you, and you could feel eyes on you—probably Choso’s, though you couldn’t be sure.

Eventually, you gave in and made your way over to the bar. Your friends were still lost in the music, but you needed a break. Sliding onto one of the barstools, you rested your elbows on the counter, glancing up just as Choso turned around.

For a second, he looked startled. His eyes widened slightly, and you could see the faintest hint of color rising in his cheeks. It was almost funny how easily flustered he seemed to get when you were near.

“Hey, Choso right?” you said, offering him a small smile.

“Oh, uh yeah. Hey,” he replied, his voice soft as usual. His hands were still holding onto the glass he’d been drying, but now he seemed unsure of what to do with it.

You bit your lip, amused by his nervousness. He was so different from other guys—so awkward, but in a way that only made you want to talk to him more. “Can I get a ginger ale?” you asked, leaning forward slightly, your tone light.

You watched as his face turned a deeper shade of red. He nearly fumbled the glass, and you had to look away to stop yourself from laughing. He was just… adorable, in the most unexpected way.

“C-coming right up,” he mumbled, quickly turning to grab the bottle. His hands were shaking just a little, but he managed to pour the drink without spilling. When he set the glass in front of you, your fingers brushed for a brief second, and you saw him freeze, his eyes wide.

“Thanks,” you said, taking the drink from him and giving him another smile. His blush deepened, and he looked away quickly, like he didn’t know how to respond.

You sipped your ginger ale, watching him out of the corner of your eye as he busied himself with the bottles behind the counter. He was quieter than usual tonight, though that wasn’t saying much. Choso never talked much, at least not to you. You wondered if it was just because he didn’t know what to say—or if he didn’t really want to talk to you at all.

You sighed softly, twirling the straw in your drink. You weren’t great at reading people, but you liked to think that maybe Choso was just shy. He seemed like the type—awkward in social situations, not really sure how to handle attention. You could relate to that, in a way. You weren’t the most confident person when it came to this kind of thing either.

But still, you liked talking to him, even if he didn’t say much. There was something comforting about his quiet presence, something that made you want to keep coming back, even if it was just to sit at the bar and exchange a few words.

The night wore on, and your friends drifted away, leaving you alone at the bar. You watched as the crowd began to thin, the music quieting down as the night started to wind to a close. Choso was still working, wiping down the counter and cleaning glasses. He hadn’t spoken to you again since bringing your drink, but you could feel the tension between you, like there was something neither of you knew how to address.

You glanced at him from under your lashes, wondering if he ever thought about you after you left the bar. Did he even remember you from one visit to the next? It was hard to tell with him. He was so hard to read, so… distant. You weren’t sure if you were just a regular customer to him, or if maybe—just maybe—he noticed you in a way that went beyond polite service.

You took another sip of your drink, the cool liquid soothing your dry throat as you leaned forward a little, deciding to test the waters.

“So, do you always work Fridays?” you asked casually, breaking the silence.

Choso blinked, looking up from where he was polishing a glass. He stared at you for a second, like he was surprised you’d spoken to him again, before nodding slowly. “Yeah, most of the time,” he replied, his voice soft.

You nodded, twirling the straw between your fingers. “Must be busy,” you commented, glancing around at the thinning crowd. “You must see a lot of people come through here.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, but you could tell he wasn’t really sure how to keep the conversation going.

You smiled a little, amused by his awkwardness. It wasn’t like you were expecting a deep conversation, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he was always this quiet, or if it was just you.

“I’ve been coming here a lot lately,” you said, your tone a little softer. “It’s a nice place.”

Choso hesitated for a moment before nodding again, his eyes flicking up to meet yours for just a second. His expression was hard to read, but there was something in the way he looked at you that made your heart skip a beat. You quickly looked down at your drink, your confidence wavering just a bit.

“Yeah, it’s… nice,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

You bit your lip, feeling a strange tension in the air. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but it was heavy, like there was something unspoken between you. You couldn’t tell if it was just the awkwardness of the moment, or if maybe, deep down, you both felt the same uncertain pull.

But then again, it could just be your imagination.

You smiled softly at him, trying to give him some reassurance, even if you didn't know what would happen next. "Well, I guess I'll keep coming back then," you teased lightly.

Choso blinked, his cheeks still pink, but this time, he didn't look away. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, it felt like the air between you shifted —like maybe, just maybe, you weren't the only one feeling this way.

Choso blinked, looking a little startled, but this time, he didn’t look away. His eyes met yours, and for a brief moment, it felt like the space between you shrank, like something shifted in the air. But just as quickly as it came, the moment passed, and he went back to drying glasses, leaving you sitting there with your drink, wondering if you’d ever be able to figure him out.

Your heart skipped a beat at that. Maybe he did notice you. Maybe this was something, even if he didn't realize it. But just as quickly as the thought came, doubt crept in. What if he was just being polite? What if he didn't see you the same way you saw him?

Still, you couldn't help but hope. Maybe, just maybe, he was thinking the same thing as you-that there was something between you, even if neither of you had the courage to admit it.

59 notes · View notes

agent-grey-fics · 8 months ago

Text

Who we are | Paul Lahote | Part 5

Paired: Paul Lahote x reader Wordcount: 1300 Summary: Paul and y/n attend a wedding of Paul's ex, and feelings of jealousy surface

Writers note: Here is part 5 of 'who we are', Previous parts: part 1 | part 2 | Part 3 | part 4

Part 6 coming soon.

Three months later

You and Paul tried to spend some time together, tried being friends again. It was awkward in the beginning but it became easier over time. Today, however, was a strange day. You were invited to the wedding of Jake's sister, Rachel who was also Paul's ex. You didn't quite know how to act, you were so uncomfortable with the situation. You knew that the universe assigned Paul to you, you belonged together but somehow being at Rachel’s wedding made you insecure. You knew their history, he loved her at one point and he only came to you because of a supernatural bond. It stung

The gentle sea breeze played with your hair as you took your seat, they had chosen a beachside wedding ceremony. The chairs were arranged in neat rows on the sandy aisle, and you found yourself guided by the pack to a seat next to Paul. As you sat side by side, the tension between you was palpable, an unspoken acknowledgement of what was going on.

Rachel, adorned in a stunning white gown, stood under the flower-adorned arbour with her brother Jacob. The ceremony was set against the backdrop of the setting sun, casting a warm glow over the beach. Your gaze involuntarily flickered towards Paul, his expression unreadable behind his sunglasses. The pack had strategically placed the two of you together, a subtle reminder of the complexities that lingered beneath the surface.

As Rachel exchanged vows with her new partner, Thomas, a wave of conflicting emotions washed over you. You couldn't help but feel a sting of jealousy as you caught the fleeting glances exchanged between Paul and Rachel. The unspoken history between them lingered in the air, and you found yourself caught between the joy of Rachel's wedding and the jealousy burning inside your chest. The ceremony unfolded with the rhythmic crash of waves providing a natural soundtrack. Your attention alternated between the heartfelt vows and the subtle interplay of emotions between Paul and Rachel. You couldn't decipher the look they shared, but it left a knot of uncertainty in your stomach. You were jealous. You knew that they dated for a longue time but you never knew how things ended, you made a mental note to ask one of the boys if they knew what had happened.

Once the vows were exchanged, applause erupted, and you joined in the celebration. As the crowd dispersed for the reception, you found yourself standing up from your seat to join the festivities. Paul did the same. Before he had the chance to walk away you grabbed his hand. He looked down and softly squeezed you hand in a reassuring gesture as he took of his sunglasses to give you a wink.

The beach reception was a lively affair, with laughter, music, and the scent of saltwater lingering in the air. The two of you observed Rachel and Thomas sharing their first dance, the couple seemingly lost in the magic of the moment. The pack surrounded them, creating a circle of joy.

Later in the evening, as the dance floor came alive, you found yourself face to face with Paul. The music played a melodic tune, and Paul extended his hand, inviting you to join him for a dance. Hesitant, you accepted, and you swayed to the rhythm of the music. In the warmth of the night, with the moon casting its glow on the beach, you danced in a silence filled with unspoken words. As you moved together, you couldn't ignore the weight of the bond that connected you. The proximity brought a mix of comfort and uncertainty, and you finally broke the silence.

‘Paul, what does this all mean?’ you asked, voice barely audible over the music. Paul paused for a moment, his gaze meeting yours. ‘Y/n, I understand this is a lot to take in. It means whatever you want it to. If you want to go back to your old life, I would understand. The bond... it's not something everyone can handle.’ You didn’t respond immediately. ‘But everyone I know found a way to work their one out, I think we could to. I would do everything for you to see you happy.’ The sincerity in Paul's eyes struck a chord within you. The complexities of the supernatural world, the unspoken history with Rachel, and the undeniable connection with Paul left you feeling torn. For a moment, you considered the possibility of stepping away, of returning to a life untouched by the supernatural. You could go back to Phoenix, pretending that nothing ever happened. You felt a sting in your heart, you knew you couldn't leave him behind. ‘

Paul, still holding you in a gentle embrace, sensed your uncertainty. He stopped dancing, and he looked into your eyes, a mixture of understanding and sincerity in his gaze. ‘I would be anything you want me to be. I can give you some space if you want that.’ ‘Paul,’ youbegan, your voice soft yet filled with a myriad of emotions, ‘I want to be here, but I don't know how to navigate this. The imprint bond, your history with Rachel… It's a lot, and I'm not sure how to handle it all.’

Paul nodded, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand. ‘I get it, Y/n but me and Rachel are history.’ You sighed. ‘Then what were those looks?’ He shrugged. 'We were together for a long time, but the moment I saw you after my first time shifting changed everything. She knew I couldn't stay away from you, that she didn't stand a chance.' A soft smile hung on his lips. ‘No one compares to you.’ He gently stroked your cheek. Your gaze met Paul's, searching for reassurance. ‘I want to stay,’ you confessed, ‘but I don't know what that means for us. How do we handle this imprint thing? We tried to be friends and we both know it only works for certain aspects.’ Paul sighed, a mix of contemplation and resignation in his expression. ‘It's complicated. Imprinting is like a force pulling us together, and we can't just ignore it. But we also have a choice in how we navigate it.’

The weight of Paul's words settled in the night air, and you felt the gravity of the situation. ‘What do you want, Paul?’ you asked, eyes searching for clarity. Paul hesitated, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon. ‘I want you to have a choice, Y/n. If staying means too much upheaval in your life, I'd understand. The imprint bond is strong, but it doesn't mean you're trapped. We can figure this out together.’ You sighed. ‘But what do you want?’ He shifted his gaze to you. ‘You, I want you.’

The sincerity in Paul's words resonated with you. The imprint bond was a force beyond your control, but it didn't erase your agency. The uncertainty lingered, but a glimmer of determination sparked within you. Deep down you knew you felt more than friendship for him, you had a connection. The flirting before was proof of it. You wanted to give this a chance. ‘I want to stay,’ you admitted, your voice firm. ‘I want to understand this world, our connection. But I need time, we need to take one step at a time Paul.’ A smile crept on his lips. He looked into your eyes, a gentle gaze full of love, and you could only stare back. 'We'll figure it out together, we have each other.' You nodded. 'Don't move.' He gently leaned forward, immensely slow afraid of scaring you away. 'Paul.' 'Shhh.' He placed his lips feather lightly on yours. When he leaned back again you followed him, not wanting the kiss to stop. He laughed softly and placed his hands on your cheeks. His lips found yours again, a little wilder than the kiss before. You were going to figure it out together.

#paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote x y/n #twilight fic #wolve pack fic #jacob black #edward cullen #twilight #bella swan #imprint fic

82 notes · View notes

taurizzz · 1 year ago

Text

You Got It, pt. 2

Bada Lee x Reader

Synopsis:

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3

Update: you could dance... a little bit now.

There's no mistaking you as the new Bada Lee, but you could follow easy choreography now. Which isn't much considering the talented dancer herself had been luring you into her dance studio every. single. day. since you guys met.

But it was safe to say you never learnt the choreography to "You Got It".

Instead, you had resorted to trying to film tiktoks of dance trends, which you still found challenging and Bada found amusing.

"You look like a rusty seesaw," the talented dancer laughs as she watches you stiffly move your hips side-to-side.

You huff, crossing your arms, "they're asking too much of me. How can I move my hips and keep to the beat?!"

Shaking her head while chuckling at your flare for the dramatic, Bada finds herself walking over to you. Step-by-step she shows you how to smoothly move your hips without your whole body following, and by some higher power, you can do it!

“I’m doing it, Bada!” You yell gleefully, rushing to hug your mentor.

Your arms wrap around her neck, pulling her closer to you to her surprise. You feel Bada’s arms snake around your waist, your bodies mesh together like puzzle pieces. Her hot breath tickles your neck before you slowly pull away from her, much to Bada’s distaste yet she can’t help but feel warm inside when you flash her an excited smile.

“Let’s film this tiktok before I forget,” you laugh making Bada chuckle in agreement.

As you set up your phone, Bada can’t help but watch your every move with a sense of fondness. She did not expect you to become such a prominent part of her day, seeing you had become a necessity for Bada, so the dancer had resorted to forcing you to come to her studio every day since you walked into her class. There was something magnetic drawing Bada towards you, but she kept quiet about it, not sure whether you felt the same way.

You press start, allowing the “Girls Like Me Don’t Cry” by Thuy play.

You lip sync the beginning before slowly backing up to your place just in front of Bada. When the song transitions into the chorus, you and Bada start to move your hips to the beats.

Unexpectedly, Bada turns you around so your backside is now facing the camera and she places her hands on your hips. You feel your cheeks heat up as you give her a quizzical look, confused on what she’s doing but she continues to move her hips and so do you.

She leans her head down, resting her forehead onto yours, the eye contact going crazzzyyy. You nervously gulp, as you bring your hands around her neck. You forget the tiktok you’re filming as your faces inch closer and closer. You stare at Bada through hooded eyes as hers begin to close while leaning in more, your noses brush against each others and you can feel the exchange of your breaths.

A knock on the studio door startles you and Bada, causing you both to immediately let each other go. The atmosphere between you two turns awkward when a guy walks in, you remember him to be Howl, Bada’s second-in-charge.

You turn to busy yourself with your phone, trying to act natural as if you weren’t a millisecond away from kissing Bada.

Wtf was that y/n? What if she doesn’t even like girls? Thoughts are racing through your mind as you save the tiktok as a draft and then swipe out of the app, noticing that Gigi had messaged you saying she was done with her class now.

You stand up in a seemingly nonchalant way, congratulating yourself for coming off as super natural although you were internally shaking with nerves. Bada and Howl are talking about something in Korean, but you can see Bada glance at you, almost asking you not to go.

But you have to, so you smile awkwardly, clearing your throat, “I’m going to go now Bada, Gigi’s finished her class.”

A disappointed look flashes across her face but nods, “i’ll text you.”

You nod before turning around, speedily walking out of the studio, meeting up with your best friend, who was waiting outside. As you two wait for your Uber to arrive, you hurriedly whisper what just happened between you and Bada, and not surprisingly, Gigi couldn’t help but let out squeals of excitement, catching the attention of a few people who were around.

“Shut up,” you whack Gigi’s arm, “someone’s going to know from your big freaking mouth.”

She rolls her eyes as the Uber arrives, you both hop in and continue the conversation. Gigi turns her entire body in your direction before recalling what you told her, “so let me get this straight. You and Bada were filming a tiktok and she made a move on you but you guys didn’t kiss because Howl walked in?”

“Well I don’t know if she made a move or if I did,” you trail off, “I don’t even know if she’s into girls!”

Gigi laughs, shaking her head, “I think if she was about to kiss you, that would mean she’s into girls.”

Almost as if she knew you two were talking about her, your phone buzzes with a text from the devil herself. Gigi leans over your shoulder so she can also see what Bada has texted you.

Bada 😳

Hellooo

Sorry about Howl coming in

I’m sad you had to go so soon :(

Do you and Gigi want to come to a party tonight???

You share a look with your best friend who dramatically places her hand on her chest, “she’s so into you! Tell her yes, oh my god, y’all are going to start dating and get married!”

Your eyes widen from the intensity of your best friends comment, shaking your head quickly before quickly replying with a “that’s alright! and sounds good, we’ll come tonight!”

As you and Gigi pull up to your guys’ apartment, you thank the Uber and rush to get into your rented home. Bada messaged saying she’ll pick you two up at 8, leaving two hours for you guys to get ready.

You start to ponder on Gigi’s words… could Bada be into you?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Time Skip - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Just as promised, Bada pulled up to your apartment at 8pm on the dot. You couldn’t help but feel a blush form on your cheeks as you entered her car, punctuality is so hot.

Just not as hot as the tall girl smiling at you from the drivers seat. She’s wearing her infamous hat, which is tightened below her chin, a baseball jersey and some cargo pants. Her handsome vibe definitely did not help with the blossoming feelings you were forming for Bada, increasing them tenfold.

As Bada drives to the party, you sneak glances at her whenever you think she’s too busy to notice. Everything about Bada was catching your attention. From the way she’s driving with one hand to the way her tongue poked her cheek whenever another driver got on her nerves.

Everything about Bada was driving you crazy.

You didn’t even notice you three had pulled up to the party residence and that Bada had turned the car off already, not until she spoke your name with a quizzical tone, “y/n you alright? We’re here now.”

Clearing your throat, you nod frantically before stepping out the car. That was so embarrassing, what if she noticed I was checking her out?

Trying not to come off as a weirdo, you shake off your thoughts and follow Bada into the house with Gigi trailing after you. The house was crowded. There were plenty of people around, some were dancing, some were laughing with their friends and some were playing drinking games.

This wasn’t really your vibe, you preferred to stay home and drink with a couple of friends, but you knew this was definitely Gigi’s vibe so being a good friend, you’re going to suck it up and try to enjoy yourself.

Bada leads you to a group of people chatting in the kitchen, you’re assuming these are her friends. You were proven right when she began introducing you to them.

“Guys this is y/n and Gigi,” Bada smiles as she points at you and your best friend. You give them a gentle smile and a shy wave, quietly saying “hi” as Gigi says hello too.

“Y/n, Gigi, this is Redlic,” Bada points to a blonde girl who smiles behind her cup, “and you know these guys from dance class.” Howl, Lusher and Tatter all wave in unison.

Redlic begins speaking in Korean to the group of friends, and they all begin laughing at whatever she said. Trying not to stand there awkwardly, you look over at Gigi, who’s pointing to the drinks table.

“Want a drink?”

“Yes please.”

You both walk, well Gigi pretty much ran, to the table full of alcoholic beverages and began grabbing two soju bottles. “I know you’re supposed to take these as shots but I want to get fucked up since we’re leaving Korea soon.” Gigi pouts as she opens the two bottles, you guys clink and both take a chug at the drink.

It’s a dangerous drink, you think to yourself, as you can barely taste any alcohol. It’s also a dangerous drink because thirty minutes go by and you don’t even notice, you also haven’t seen Bada since she introduced you to her friends.

Feeling a pressure grow in your lower abdomen, you tell Gigi you’re going to the bathroom. She nods and asks if you want her to come, because girlhood, but you tell her not to worry and that you’ll be quick.

You had trouble finding the bathroom. It was a large house, one with many rooms and you just happened to be a victim of the directionally challenged disease. You have never been given the task to give directions, even when you’ve got a gps because you’re somehow going to fuck it up.

As you stumble slightly down a corridor, you find a door that seems like it could be to a bathroom. Something inside you was pulling you towards the door, so it clearly had to be your gut instincts telling you that this is the room you’re looking for.

Pushing the door open, it was not the bathroom.

In fact, it was far from a bathroom. It was the room you felt your soul get crushed in due to the sight before you.

Bada and Redlic were standing in the middle of the room, kissing each other just like you and Bada were close to doing earlier.

You heart shatters but you can’t bring yourself to look away, the sight engraving itself into your memory. At the sound of the door opening and footsteps, Bada pulls herself away from the blonde, seeing the last person she wanted to witness what just happened.

“Y/n, wait-” Bada moves towards you but you, in your state of inebriation, manage to run out the room before she could touch you.

Tears are threatening to spill down your cheeks but you can’t allow yourself to cry. There’s no reason to. It’s not like you and Bada are even together… so why does it hurt so much? Why do you feel like you’re breaking inside?

You find Gigi as you hear your name being called behind you. Ignoring the calls, you grab Gigi and without needing to say anything, Gigi understands the situation and you two rush out of the premises.

No one has followed you outside, much to your relief and dismay. You didn’t want to see or speak to her ever again, but you also wanted her to fight for you and show you that she cares about you. Are you not important enough for Bada to follow you out?

So Bada does like girls… just not me, tears finally drip down your cheeks as you and Gigi hop into your Uber.

As the Uber drives away from the house, you’re completely unaware of the girl standing in the middle street, too late as she watches your car disappear in the distance.

“What have I done?”

hellooo,

i hope you guys are having a great day!

or were, before bada broke your heart :(

anyways, thank you for reading!

lots of love,

j <3

#bada lee x reader #bada lee #bada lee x y/n #reader is a mess

347 notes · View notes

vad-hander · 3 months ago

Text

LET’S KEEP IT SECRET Pt.5

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

words: 7k

side note: as usual, I'll appreciate all your feedback and thoughts!

Your hand raised immediately to cover your opened mouth. Fuck. Yuta’s outside. Yuta came here to see you. After months of silence, he shows up so randomly?! You were almost mad how unprepared you were for this meeting.

Like, not even mentally, your appearance was fucking awkward. You danced for the past 5 hours in a room with barely any venting system. You sweated so badly your hair now looked like you didn’t wash it for a week, you were procrastinating in your bed aka waiting for your turn in the shower - because with the number of people on the floor two bathrooms were just not it, you literally had to wait in a queue to shower - so you were in your training sweats and shirt. Ah, you panicked. Your hands automatically reached for your brush - at least you’d braid the mess on your head and not make it too obvious you were fresh out of practice. You roughly ran the brush through your hair, the silent room now filled with you ripping through your hair and awkwardly enough - attracting everyone’s attention to you. How the hell were you supposed to make yourself look presentable without people questioning why you’re acting that way? You braided your hair quickly, trying not to pay too much attention to the curious eyes. You are, at the end of the day, planning to be famous - you have to be used to people watching you, tho its not really the same, but it should be the same in your head in order for you to not flip out. You found your lip balm and hid it in the pocket to not put it on so openly and ran out of the room in pure silence only to return a second after. “I-, ahem, I’m going to the CU, does anyone need anything?“

“Yeah, no.“ Jiwon gave you a weird look, crossing eyes with Sieun. Well, okay.

You didn’t have a second to think if you wanted to slow down or speed up or what you were going to say, you just ran out of the building without any thoughts. You just really wanted to see Yuta with your eyes. Just have him before you no matter how awkward this might be, just look at him. God, why did you not see him?! Your eyes ran across the entrance of the building one time and once again, because there wasn’t anyone. You walked off further into the street, turning the corner of the building, immediately meeting with Yuta’s eyes. You jumped in place and stopped. You weren’t sure if you should sprint off and hug him or let him take the lead. Yuta took a step towards you and you did so too automatically, meeting somewhere in-between. Yuta stared at you and his eyes were trying to drink in every feature on your face, while you were doing the same. You were trying to see if anything changed, if anything was different and it seemed like everything was not the same but at the same time he was just who you remembered him to be. It felt so weird, like some fever dream turn into live or more like a brimmed with romance k-drama moment where two leads finally meet each other after years of separation. The street lights and autumn breeze was adding up to the feeling. You blinked silently at the man like amoeba, not knowing what was the reason behind him coming here, what did he think of you and what you should be acting like in front of him now. What were you? Should you just ask him in the face? You seriously considered, since he watched you without saying a thing.

“I would say that I’m so happy you texted, but if I’m completely honest, I’m so confused at this point.“ you surprised Yuta by breaking the silence.

“Jaehyun told me you two were discussing… us?“ Ugh, he did? You recalled saying something to him along the lines of maybe you can ask him and tell me, but you didn’t expect him go out of his way and actually do it. One more UGH for Jeong Jaehyun. You were beyond conscious of what he might’ve said or discussed with Yuta.

“That’s pretty exaggerated.“ You weren’t discussing your relationship, you literally cut him off in like two sentences and continued with your exchange of random things that happened in your life in the time being you avoided him.

“Anyway.“ what was they sigh and the undertone of that word. Was he…pissed off? The tone of his voice was giving something between slight indifference and irritation.

“Yes, anyway.“ You felt a little more worked up just from the look he gave you. That’s very much not how you imagined the reunion with your boyfriend, or more likely ex-boyfriend by now. “So Jaehyun is the only reason you reached out after months of silence?“

“Yes and no. He told me about seeing you and I realised that I would’ve liked it for myself too. To see you, talk to you and everything else.“ Everything else is what…? Touching, hugging, kissing and …? You needed elaboration on this uncertainty.

“Okay.“ You gave him a nod, very much flabbergasted at the prospect of possibly kissing Yuta.

“Do you hate me? For leaving you to hang on for this long?“ his eyes pierced through yours. “I reckoned you’ll need a lot of time to process the transfer and new life and new people and I tried to give you space to work everything out. My own debuted and other things got in the way. I took too long and then was just scared and awkward to reach out.“

“But I messaged you. You could’ve said literally anything back.“

“I’m sorry.“ He did sound full of remorse, you’d give him that.

“Well at least you had more than enough time to think everything through.“ You cackled, not able to hold yourself back from coming at him.

“Right.“

“So… I guess you came here to give me the verdict?“

“I came here to tell you that I’ve been missing you so fucking bad. That I really badly want to talk to you and hug you again and kiss you again. I want to know everything that’s been happening to you recently. I texted you to see if you’d be able to forgive me for taking so long. So…will you forgive me? Are we still on the same page?“ He crushed the words at you like a cannon ball. They were things you wanted to hear, but somehow at the same time you were feeling uneasy at the confession. You had to tell him first thing that came into your mind otherwise the silence felt too deafening. Yuta gripped your palm as proof of what he felt.

“My company…. We have a very strict no dating policy. We’re not even allowed to have a simple crush. Literally anything relationship related is strictly prohibited.“

“You know that SM have all the same rules.“

“No-, like gawking over someone gets you to pack your bags and leave, Yuta.“

“Okay?“ He couldn’t understand where you led him, neither did you.

“And you’re a whole damn man, that comes to see me at night.“

“That’s why I didn’t come to the entrance where all those CCTV cams could see us.“

“Yeah.“ You gave him a nod but clearly didn’t acknowledge what he said properly, continuing on with what you were saying “Not even a year ago one of the guys at the company got his contract terminated because he was allegedly breaking the no dating rule. Our producer is very strict with those rules, he says it has to be at least 5 years before we should even think of dating. Otherwise we’re not dedicated enough.“ you paused because you would love to feel Yuta’s grip on your fingers. If he touched you, you would’ve stopped to crash these things at him.

“I see, you’re trying to refuse me.“ How would he make a conclusion like that when you didn’t even know yourself, what you were trying to do.

“No. I’m just stating facts. For you… to consider.“

“I have considered all those things. Nothing’s changed for me. I still find you very beautiful, I’m still deeply attracted to you.“ You felt a butterfly flop inside your chest. This was such a relief to hear - Yuta still wanted you.

“Me too.“ You half whispered, you really didn’t want to admit something like that out loud where people could see and hear you. You suddenly felt a little conscious doing these things in front of your literal dorm, where you didn’t have friends, but a whole damn building of people that would happily sneak on you to free one more spot in the competition, but the man in front of you didn’t feel the same way. Yuta moved his foot a step forward, knocking it against your shoe. His fingers laced through yours once again in such electrifying movement you almost lost all your consciousness and leaned in to kiss him. Yuta pulled you towards him, taking a couple steps back from the lit up pavement, to the more dark and private space under a tree.

“Fuck, I really missed even simply holding on to your fingers.“ Yuta sighed miserably. He squeezed your hands like he regretted every previous decision he made and you believed the boy that stood right in front of you. You believed because despite not making a lot of moves to reunite yourself, you longed and waited and held that little something you had between you close to your heart. You believed you were loving him, because you couldn’t say you knew for sure, you didn’t know much about love enough to state it. You loved your dad, because he was your parent, he took care of you, understood you, listened to you, helped you through hardships, took your side when everyone - or more accurately your mom - were against you. You loved Jaehyun, because he was the first person in your life that could understand you. With no mockery, jealousy or humiliation. He reached for the same goals and understood you completely. In addition to that, he knew how to make you smile, how to make you feel better, when you were down. He seemed to genuinely care for you and who you were, he cared for every little thing you told him or showed him. You loved him because his ways of being your friend helped you become a good one for him, or at least, you were hoping you were still in the process to become one. You loved him just because he was Jaehyun, your best friend, your first friend in SM and your first best friend in the whole wide world.

But Yuta… you felt like you loved him because when he kissed you that first time, your whole being flipped. You don’t remember how or why you existed before that. At first you were obviously, clearly very much shocked at the action. A) you were a baby back then, you didn’t really think of anything like that; b) you were scared of anything related to attraction to other people since something like that would clearly take a toll on your success and debut - and maybe it already did - and you just didn’t want to admit. You were loving Yuta in a completely different way - in a way what you considered a grown woman love a grown man. Not sure if the type together forever kind of love, but together for a long time type of way. You were feeling that heaviness of excitement in your chest now that Yuta was staring at you like that. Your feelings might’ve started to feel like nothing in the past weeks, because you were busy and alone and maybe a little hopeless, but him being here right now made it overwhelming.

“Me too.“ You meowed in his hold. You weren’t able to talk properly, to stand your ground - no way at all. You were mushy in his hold, if he’d pull your hands down, you’d fold right before him in a second.

“I still am very much in love with you.“ He leaned in and brushed his lips over your cheek. You felt heated in a nano-second, squeezing Yuta’s fingers tighter in your hold. You tried to free one of your hands to hug his waist, but his fingers felt like claws over yours.

“Me too.“ You whispered breathlessly as your mouth tried to find Yuta’s, lick into it even for the briefest moment and then do whatever the hell he would want to, but he moved away and you found it in yourself to talk. “I have to be honest. This company, it really can’t be compared to SM, everything is different and I’m scared. Of how this is going to go, I’m scared that someone is possibly watching us right now and I’m going to get kicked out tomorrow. I am so scared that following what my heart wants in love department will ruin what I want to have in my career. I fear that having a boyfriend is going to end things for me. Maybe for you too. We’re risking a lot. So much, Yuta.“

“It’s fine.“ Hm? What does he mean it’s fine…? “Just don’t tell them I’m your boyfriend, just a guy friend from way back. We won’t put a label on it for everyone to see. There’s Jaehyun and there’s me, no difference for everyone else. No one should care about what we’re doing in privacy, when being with each other. Who would care to find out that the difference between me and Jaehyun is that I’m desperately in love with you? Well, huh, wait.“ Yuta paused, smirked and raised an brow at you with his signature playful smile. “How does that make me any different from Jaehyun then?“ Yuta smarted quickly, full on beaming so proud of his own joke. You punched his shoulder playfully, finally being able to get away from his grip. Now that he made jokes about Jaehyun, it almost felt like nothing at all changed.

“Congratulations, boo.“ Jaehyun shoved a bouquet in your face. You smiled, taking the flowers from his grip, giving them barely a glance as your hand turned them facing down. Your eyes darted from one corner to the other, not focusing on Jaehyun even for the slightest second. If you did though, you would’ve noticed how his smile turned downwards as his eyes soaked in your indifference. You were thankful that he came, you were so happy he came for you, but there was a main question that needed to be asked.

“Where’s Yuta?“ You asked impatiently. Jaehyun’s eyes, that lit up upon your attention on him extinct as he heard your question.

“Don’t know.“ He had to clear his throat before replying.

“Don’t you live together?“ You scrutinised Jaehyun, almost too accusatory for such a public instance.

“I’m sorry.“ Jaehyun lowered his gaze to the ground, hitting your heart with a pang and maybe finally bringing you back to your senses. You smiled apologetically, almost poking his cheek at how terribly cute he looked with his head down, apologising for not knowing whereabouts of your not-boyfriend-boyfriend. You pressed Jaehyun’s bouquet to his chest and he jerked his head up in fear at first, relaxing as he saw your soft face expression. Did he think you were going to throw those flowers at him? You almost felt hurt that your best friend thought you were a bitch.

“You have nothing to apologise for. You came to my graduation despite being a very busy boy.“ You murmured as softly as possible being surrounded by hundreds of other school graduates. Jaehyun showed you his dimples and you took a step forward, keeping the flowers to his chest. “You’re the very best, as usual.“ Jaehyun chuckled and tapped the top of your head.

“Don’t“ he beamed, pleased.

“And very sweet, you didn’t have to buy me peonies.“ You ogled properly the flowers, to not ogle over Jaehyun. His hand on the top of your hair felt like lava dripped down from where he touched you. It felt too hot, despite it being very early February. You found his hand with your free one, touching his palm with yours and making sure it wasn’t even hot, it was your body having thermoregulations issues.

“You came to my graduation, I came to yours. That’s what best friends do, boo.“ Jaehyun wiggled your fingers in his hold, making you emotional. That’s what best friends do, then what the f is the boyfriend doing - not coming to one important thing in your life.

“I think ‘boo’ has romantic under text, Jaehyun.“ you chuckled, processing what he called you. “Someone might overhear us and think we’re romantically involved.“ You chuckled at the thought, it seemed a little funny to you, when your eyes still searched for Yuta with peripheral vision.

“It’s only romantic if you make it sound this way. I was envisioning boo like a ghost, because you’ve been more of a ghost in my life for the past half a year. You’ve been ghosting me, boo.“ He smirked as he smarted his last sentence, and you swallowed a chuckle, moving your head disapprovingly. You hugged him instead of an answer, squeezing the flowers between your bodies because you felt weird and thought it’d be a great shield from direct contact with his body. “Love you.“ Jaehyun whispered lowly above your ear, his arm squeezing your shoulders, the other one patting your back. “Not romantically, in case you’ve started to imagine things.“ He chuckled and you couldn’t stop yourself from pinching his side.

“Shut up.“ You tried to wiggle out of the hug, Jaehyun’s fingers only gripping tighter onto your shoulder. “I love you, too.“

“I hope no one’s taking pics, huh.“ Jaehyun immediately let go of you, pulling back up the face mask on his face, as if the past 10 minutes weren’t enough to recognise him for whoever wanted to recognise him.

“I’m here for Jungkook’s graduation.“ he pushed the flowers against your chest once again and took a very big step back. “I don’t even know you. Who are you, again?“ He squeezed his eyes like he couldn’t see you and you shrugged. He was talking at least two times louder, like he couldn’t hear you through the crowd and you needed to keep up with him.

“Don’t know you either… are you sure you’re Jungkook’s friend? I don’t think he ever mentioned you.“ Your pointing finger made a zigzag in the air, like it could help you remember something. “Do you even see him?“ You smirked because Jaehyun have not stepped a foot away from you since the moment he arrived and it didn’t seem like he was trying to look for anyone else.

“Just lost him out of my sight.“ Jaehyun scratched his forehead like he tried to remember which direction his friend went.

“I see.“ You nodded, smiling because Jaehyun couldn’t keep his face straight. He shoved the flowers against your face to hide you from him.

“Oh! Jaehyunie!“ You heard an exclamation from behind.

“My princess!“ You jumped in place, quickly turning to find the source of that sound, finally training your eyes on the man that tried to crawl through all students and families.

“Dad!“ You exclaimed and lost yourself in a hug.

“Congratulations, I’m so proud of you.“ Your dad kissed both your cheeks, before one more bouquet appeared before your eyes.

“Thank you.“ You smiled and kissed your fathers cheek in return.

“Come here, greet your mother.“ Your mom called for you, somehow her hand settled on Jaehyun’s wrist, the deadly grip making it impossible for him to disappear. You gave your mom a quick hug, and allowed her to kiss your cheek. “We should take a photo together. Jaehyun, take one for us.“

“Of course, ma’am.“ Jaehyun bowed like a well-trained puppy and showed you his dimples for encouragement. Your mum forced the face mask off his face somewhere in the process, you laughed.

“One, two, say kimchi.“ He pressed onto the cameras button and the sound of shutter let you know the photo was taken.

“Now with your mom only.“ Your father pressed you into your mothers side and forced you to smile, taking the camera out of Jaehyun’s grip. He stood there awkwardly, next to your dad like he was next in line for something. Another sound of shutter. “Now with me only.“ Your dad took the spot next to you and you tried to pose more enthusiastically than before. Click and the pic is done. Jaehyun blinked quietly, when it felt like a perfect que for him to exit the scene, your dad made it impossible “With Jaehyun now, too!“

“It’s fine.“ Your friend protested as he read confusion on your face. It wasn’t even confusion, you just wanted a picture with Yuta on your graduation day and you were not getting one and you were hurt. You would trade a photo with Jaehyun in a heartbeat to one with Yuta. You anyway had hundreds of pics with Jaehyun, it wouldn’t hurt if you had one less.

“No, come here, Jungkook’s friend.“ you gestured for him to get to you.

“Okay, princess.“ He mocked, making the tone of his voice funny trying to impersonate your dad. You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance, immediately being gagged by your own body when Jaehyun’s arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into his side. Your head turned to see Jaehyun, because you were flabbergasted all of a sudden and needed to see if he felt any of that. Seemed like he didn’t, he cracked a smile, showing off his dimples, fingers of his free hand forming a V. Sound of shutter and there you have a picture of you staring up at Jaehyun. “One more!“ You shout before anyone could move from their place.

Jaehyun, thank god, moved his hand off your waist to drop it on top of your head and smiled once again. You smiled too, snugging an arm over his waist this time.

“One, two, three, kimchi!“ Your dad announced loudly and you tickled Jaehyun’s side, forcing a chuckle out his throat. It sounded so unusually low you needed a second to process what that was, because he suddenly make your insides tremble with how low that sound was. You stole a quick glance at Jaehyun, seeing how that tickle made his whiskers appear, you prayed he’d have them visible in the photo too.

You unglued yourself from your best friend when the two of you stood too close for too long.

“Who’s Jungkook?“ Your mom wondered.

“Jaehyun’s friend that graduates today too.“ You stated the simple truth.

“Do you know him?“ What did she mean by that? Why did she care? Oh god.

“Jaehyun, do you want to join us for celebratory lunch? Of course, if only your schedule allows you to join us.“ Your dad slightly bowed like Jaehyun was some sort of serious politician, sportsman or at least a senior to him.

“He’s a celebrity now! Of course he doesn’t have time to dine with us!“ Your mom waved off your father at the silly suggestion.

“No, no, mr and missis y/l/n, I would gladly join your lunch to celebrate graduation of your daughter.“ Jaehyun almost bowed 90 degrees in deepest reverence for your parents and you had to physically catch his shoulder mid way to stop him at least at 45 degrees.

“Ah! Jaehyunie! The tone of your voice, it’s so deep and charming! I can’t believe it, just last time I saw you it wasn’t like that“ Your mom hid her face in her hands in shock, she acted like a whole different person when it came to Jaehyun, you hated how she couldn’t do the same to Yuta, or you. You really didn’t want to remind her she saw him more than a year ago and that his voice has been this way for a little while.

“It just happened overnight.“ Jaehyun chuckled, his ears suddenly turning pink, as he walked in front of you with your parents. You wondered if you’d trail off the route, how quickly they’d notice you were gone.

“What is this?“ you felt a rush of warmth throughout your body, making your palm immediately sweaty in Yuta’s hold. You don’t know exactly why would you ask the question, when you could see very clearly for yourself the words above the entrance. Motel. And the door was graced with a piece of paper, that read hourly rates applicable. You felt warm rashes through your body every time you read those words and if you continued you most likely would’ve fell on the floor from high blood pressure. The door opened and you tore your hand from Yuta’s hold, hiding your face even more behind the mask and the cap you wore. You had another rash of sweat down your spine as you saw people walk down the stairs, both the man and the lady looked like they had sex just a minute ago, which honestly most likely wasn’t a mistake. It was an hourly motel, at the end of the day.

“A place, where you and I can be one on one with no fear of being seen, disturbed or whatever.“ Yuta found your hand once again and squeezed it.

“It’s an hourly motel.“ You said out loud and felt even more sweat form on your lower back. If Yuta wasn’t able to distinguish your feelings by your face that hid behind clothing, he should’ve definitely felt it in the tone of your voice. You almost lost balance on your two feet as another couple walked past you, this time inside the building and if it wasn’t for Yuta’s grip on you, you would’ve took off away right then and there.

“Yes, it doesn’t matter. Does it? You and me together is the only thing that matters.“

“What if someone sees us?“ Your throat gave up on you as the thought gave you a whiplash.

“Trust me, just trust me. Come on.“ Yuta moved your body in front of his, grabbing your face with his hands. Despite your endless will to trust him, you were having second hand thoughts on the idea. “Do you really want to leave? I promise you, I really tried to pick a good one. Coming in or leaving?“ Yuta asked concerned, now that he was able to see your eyes he could very clearly tell that you were concerned - well who wouldn’t - and tried to make you feel better.

“Coming in.“ your voice sounded weaker than usual. Yuta smiled and kissed your face, where he’d guessed through the mask your mouth was and dragged you behind himself.

“Why are you not taking the mask off?“ Yuta glanced quickly at your unmoving body on the corner of the bed, before continuing with whatever he was doing in his backpack. The thing did seem packed to the brim and you were curious what Yuta had in there, before he brought you to the hourly motel. It did look nice inside, despite the room being small and obviously cheap - it was relatively fresh renovation and almost didn’t look like you rented this thing for 5 hours, though you couldn’t kill the thought of people coming in here to specifically have sex, and you couldn’t stop thinking on the number of people that had sex in this exact room and you couldn’t stop thinking how you most likely are going to end up doing the same thing and what’s even worse than that, you couldn’t stop thinking-

“What if there’s a hidden camera? Or worse… many cameras?“ You couldn’t even lift your hand to reveal your face to possibly hidden viewers in this room.

“What?“ Yuta chuckled at your -ridiculous- suggestion, before swallowing and leaving his backpack alone to stand in front of you. The bed had tall legs, allowing Yuta to not bend too much to be on your level. His fingers squeezed your cheeks and forced the face mask down your face. “I wouldn’t bring you to some weird ass place with sperm sprayed all over the walls.“ Well, good, but still, you would’ve appreciated an actual hotel much more. “I heard good things about this place from my friends… well, because not everyone is Jeong Jaehyun with an apartment in Apgujeong.“ there was no emotion in the tone of his voice, he was just saying things he thought, but it stung so fucking badly how he always had to put Jaehyun in comparison. Even if his family home was in the most expensive district of Seoul, it didn’t mean Yuta was any poor coming here from Japan. He was poor because in the circumstance he was a foreigner with no home and was sent a certain amount by his parents, not because he didn’t have any money at home. It wasn’t about Jaehyun or this place or anything else at all. It was about you and Yuta, but somehow he wanted it to be about someone else too. “Anyway, my friends come here sometimes, it’s not too low class, at least these sheets are clean, okay? Once I have a better option, we won’t have to do it like that.“

“Okay.“ You gave Yuta an unnoticeable nod, his lips brushing the corner of your lips in reply.

“There’s no hidden cam, don’t even think of such things. I wouldn’t bring you to a place like that nor would I risk my very real career for a fuck.“ Very real as if in what you were doing wasn’t that real? Or were you trying to read between the lines too much because you were in a very smitten mood. Almost in a mood where if you weren’t your usual mushy self when it came to Yuta you would’ve stood up and left. Because this was making you feel uncomfortable to an extent you can’t describe. “It’s your birthday, I just wanted us to be together. I have a surprise, close your eyes.“ Yuta smiled at you sweetly, like when he wanted you to do things he wanted and you didn’t. You gave him a smile too, because you were getting all grumpy and unfriendly because whatever this was didn’t meet with your expectations. You pecked his lips and closed your eyes with a smile on your lips that hurt a little, because you were trying really hard not to think of your last birthday, when Jaehyun invited you to that Apgujeong home and made you feel happy.

You listened to Yuta’s shuffling, probably in that backpack of his, finally you felt his knees bump into yours as he got back in front of you and you felt his fingers wrap around yours. “You can open your eyes.“ And you did so on command, met with a view of Yuta in a birthday hat, throwing a spiral confetti in your face. “Happy birthday!“

“Thank you.“ You smiled, flinching as the thrown confetti almost hit your face. Yuta’s now free hand pushed your cap off your head, forcefully putting on a party cone that said birthday girl. You chuckled sincerely, helping Yuta with the elastic band over your chin.

“I love you, birthday girl.“ you beamed because despite what you just thought and felt you loved him too. Yuta leaned in to you a little more making the ring on his necklace visible from his shirt, you didn’t even have a second to think, you just leaned in and kissed his mouth, because there was nothing else to do. The past year have been very tough on the both of you. You started it off badly with your transition and after that long break of not talking to each other you rebuild what you had in a very low-key manner. Too low-key even for your liking, you couldn’t imagine what Yuta felt like. You could quite possibly count on your fingers the number of times the two of you kissed, so kissing him like this felt a little unreal. Just your lips on Yuta’s, being able to move slowly, marking every bit of his mouth with love and need, to be in his arms and continue kissing him like that. You invited Yuta’s tongue in your mouth, as he moved it slowly against your closed lips. He finally grabbed onto your neck, allowing for you to slightly back up against his hold, because it was hard for you to hold your composure. You almost forgot how good of a kisser Yuta was - not that you had anyone to compare it to - your tongue licked against his and as your body leaned back against the mattress, Yuta chased your mouth, not wishing to break the kiss even for a moment, finding balance next to your shoulders. “You’re making it incredibly hard to focus on anything else, my love.“ Yuta found it in him to pull away for a moment, only to lean back in and kiss your cupids bow, pressing his nose against your cheek.

“What were you planning to do, bringing me to an hourly motel?“ You chuckled, not even annoyed anymore, just curious because it did sound a little funny to you.

“We probably spent less than 24 hours together in a whole damn year since your last birthday. Doing anything together is fine. I mean it when I say I miss you.“ Yuta bit onto his lip, staring you down. “I haven’t seen you up close like this probably in a whole fucking year, and you’re my girlfriend. How ridiculous is that?“

“I always think of that time we went to Japan and had a real nice date. That is the sweetest thing anyone ever did to me.“

“Me too, I always think about that night.“ Yuta’s lips kissed your jaw, as his body dropped on the bed next to you, unable to hold his bodyweight with his arms any longer. “When your first vacation comes, first thing we’re doing - a trip anywhere, just you and me.“

“Promise?“ Your heart chirped, that’s exactly a promise you needed from him.

“Yes, love, promise.“ Yuta cosied himself on the mattress, snaking both his hands to lay half of you on top of him.

“What if our schedules don’t ever match up?“ You worried.

“I don’t think it’s possible for us to never match in schedules. Don’t worry, I’ll make it work for you.“ Yuta’s fingers trailed a line from your elbow to the shoulder. You had to swallow, because you really wanted to ask him why would he not make it work for your school graduation when Jaehyun did make it work. Jaehyun, who was a little busier with schedules than Yuta, you needed to be a blind fool to not notice how your friend had side gigs and Yuta didn’t. He had no excuse to not come, the thought been eating you up for months. You had to swallow it once again, because you didn’t want to fight, because maybe not saying a thing about it now, months after, was the best thing for you. Maybe Yuta couldn’t even remember by now, since he never brought it up himself.

You rolled your arms before your body, bouncing slightly on the floor to the beat, as the last beat approached, you counted in your head 1 and 2 and 3 and 4, and stood up gracefully with a turn in the ending pose. After a pause for not longer than 5 seconds you heard intensive clapping and even sounds of encouragement behind you. 5 people in front of you though kept their faces emotionless, but somehow it didn’t faze you anymore. They always tried to keep that mysterious aura, fear everyone to insecurity and plain panic, but if you worked hard they didn’t usually say a bad thing-or more likely you didn’t hear them say bad things to you and others-, well, you developed an ability of turning your brain off as soon as your bum met with the floor and you weren’t sure how things went for others. It’s been a year and you still didn’t make many friends in the company and at this point pretty much gave up and kept everyone as friendly acquaintance. At least they didn’t want to be mean in your face, fake friendliness you could bare with. Everyone clapped and cheered because it’d paint them as supportive friends and good people - more points when it comes to evaluations. You knew the rule and followed it yourself, this clearly wasn’t the place to be not like other girls, but it didn’t change anything.

You bent a little and caught your breath in two heavy breathes, straining your back back at the evaluation committee.

“Good.“ Your choreographer nodded to fellow evaluators. “Questions, notes, grades?“

“Could you share with us why you chose the choreography and the song?“ Mr.Lee, the creative director asks you.

“Theme of this month is hip-hop, we had guest choreographers this month that helped us improve our hip-hop skills. I wanted to do something fresh and relevant, something that would allow for you to see my improvement, but wouldn’t be a copy-paste of things we did in class. Seemed like a perfect choice.“ You noticed a slight nod in the oratory teachers’ head, you breathed in satisfied - you definitely checked off a box in her list.

“Wasn’t the song released on Wednesday? You learned it in one day?“ your choreographer continued with the questions, only to be interrupted by JYP himself.

“You didn’t prepare for the evaluation well? Choosing a song so new is very irresponsible.“ The song was released just a day ago, they were right, but you did prepare for the evaluation thoroughly. You’ve been learning this choreo whenever you had an opportunity to see or hear Yuta, whenever the two of you face timed or very rarely talked in person. You would’ve told them the truth if it didn’t borne more questions and awkward stares. Your only option was to claim you were able to learn it in one glance.

“No, I was preparing GOT7’s Never Ever, but heard the NCT song yesterday and thought how it clearly fits the hip-hop theme better. Changed my choice last minute.“ Yes, you somehow had the crazy idea of doing Cherry Bomb for the monthly evaluation in a day after it was released. You hoped it was believable you were able to learn the dance in a day. They looked at you for a few seconds and you didn’t understand the meaning behind the stare. “I believe I was able to show my own colour while following the choreography flawlessly and be on theme.“ You stated confidently, they tried to push you into insecurity - it was their way of doing things, one of already debuted artists at the company shared the life hack. Stand your ground and talk confidently - they’ll accept any answer as long as they don’t see you flinch at persistence.

“If you learned the choreo that flawlessly in a day it’s impressive.“ Your choreographer smiled at you in a very low-key manner and you bowed, to show your gratitude and hide traces of a smile you swallowed.

“Did you learn the whole dance or just the dance break?“ Your eyes darted back at JYP that seemed curious.

You knew by heart the whole thing through Yuta’s part. The only reason you chose the dance break hid behind the fact that somehow NCT had the most embarrassing dance moves throughout the song and doing all those jumps and weird hand movements in front of all these people on your own would’ve killed you. For real. The dance break plus last chorus including that part where you had to drop on your back for the ending point was the perfect fit for the 60 seconds you were given to perform.

“I learned most of the song, but I enjoyed the dance break and chorus the most, thus decided to show that part.“

“Okay, I have nothing to add. If you’re ready, we can get to singing.“ you nodded and took a step to the mark on the floor.

You had a tingling sensation of nervousness at the back of your neck. It was always advised to not take long to start off, otherwise you could possibly be asked to step away as unprofessional. You took a breath and made a sound with your throat.

“Ah, I heard you took first place in your evaluation group.“ Yeji smiled at you, you gave her a barely noticeable nod as you and a bunch of other people left the elevator. “Cool, that means we’re training in the same group for the upcoming month.“ You stopped midway as you were pulling your mask up, almost automatic move as you were leaving the building.

“You placed first?“ You exclaimed, your voice resonating probably through the whole hall. She gave you an excited nod, and you felt so happy for her. She worked so hard to beat everyone this time and you jumped excitedly, squeezing the girl in front of you excitedly. She clearly was taken aback for a moment, hence the two of you never hugged or had much physical contact in the past year, but you felt happy for her and maybe felt like it was the time to break the wall. You let go of Yeji, grabbing her wrists next and jumping excitedly, making the girl hyped up and jump with you. “Yay! Yeji, I’m so proud of you.“ Your fingers squeezed the life out of her wrists. “They want us to do duet for this month, to see how well we work in smaller teams.“

“Really? I haven’t heard of this months’ theme yet. If you don’t have a partner yet, it’d be such an honour for me to pair up with you.“

“Stop! It’s no honour and I would love to work on something with you.“

“Yay!“ She clapped and her pretty eyes and smile made you so happy. You genuinely felt happy for her, you genuinely felt proud. You felt a little flare up in your chest that you didn’t want it to ignite too much, but the thought crossed your mind anyway. If only we could debut together.

32 notes · View notes

gracieheartspedro · 1 year ago

Text

Cool About It

it's here. the third and final part!

joel miller x fem! reader

Description: it's been over a year with joel and some things have just fallen apart. you miss him, more than you'd like to admit. after some time apart, you find yourself at tommy's christmas party. your recent endeavours catch up with you, and joel doesn't like the way it's looking.

Part 3/3

Links for Part 1 Part 2

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, very angsty, age gap, joel being very protective, use of homophobic slang, guy being creepy towards reader, very smutty, unprotected p in v, fingering, oral (f and m receiving), overstimulation, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, pet names

Author's Note: I'm so happy to bring this final part to you beautiful people. I've loved writing this series so much! Thank you for your patience and kindness. please leave feedback, I love hearing from you guys.

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like

And now I have to act like I can't read your mind

I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie

But we don't have to talk about it

I can walk you home and practice method acting

I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning

Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing

Even though we know it isn't true

“So are you and Joel going to work it out?”

It was a question bearing on your mind for months. You really didn’t want to hear it from Ellie.

You and Joel had officially been broken up for three months after seeing each other for over a year. It was never a concrete thing, the foundation of your relationship was cracked due to some unresolved trauma from both of your pasts. Joel was in the same boat as you when it came to not being able to cope with his grief. His daughter being taken from him so young, the horrors he went through trying to survive the end of the world, and of course the deep and complex relationship he had with Ellie. You had a lot of unsettled trauma from losing your entire family and being alone for most of your life. You also always had this sinking feeling that he was not telling you the full story about the last couple years. He seemed hesitant to discuss how he found Ellie in the first place. You could tell there was some awkward tension and unresolved issues between the two of them. You just wanted to help.

He started drinking a whole lot towards the tail end of the relationship and you weren’t sure why. He’d stumble back home drunk, not even able to kiss you goodnight.

It was getting complicated. He was terrible about communicating his feelings and you were too stubborn to accept you were ever wrong.

Of course, there were good times. Like all of the Saturday nights going out dancing with Tommy and Maria. The game nights with Ellie. Sitting outside on his front porch with nothing but his guitar, making you sing songs only your father would know.

You missed him terribly. But you knew it was for the better. It has to be for the better.

Ellie sits next to you at the annual Christmas party which was hosted by Maria and Tommy. They usually did it at their house, but with a toddler, it just didn’t seem realistic there anymore. So instead, they had it at the large food hall and invited all of Jackson.

You glance over at her, your eyes glazed over from all the alcohol you’d been consuming.

That was another thing. You couldn’t stop drinking, now. It was the only way you could get to sleep at night. You had even started going to the Tipsy Bison every night to get wasted and on some rare occasions, have a guy take you home.

You were almost positive Joel was sleeping with one of the other patrol leaders too, a girl named Kelly. She had made eyes at him before you two got together. You’d seen them around a couple times, just talking and getting close. The first time you saw them, you got wasted at the Bison and threw up your entire breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

It only made you want to get over him faster, so having those guys take you home was a distraction. But you’d never fully admit that.

“I don’t know, kid,” Is all you could think to say to Ellie. Your mind was muddled with stupid emotions and disgusting whiskey.

“He’s nicer when you’re around. Now, he’s just… angry.”

You felt bad. But you couldn’t fall back into that routine with Joel. Fight, makeup, fight again. There was an extreme disconnect in communication. It was exhausting.

You stand up on wobbly legs, “I’m gonna go grab ‘nother drink. You want somethin’?”

Ellie was technically underage but you knew she drank with her friends sometimes. She looked at you with a bit of contempt.

“No, thanks.”

You shrug, sauntering back over to the bar.

You notice a familiar silhouette at the end of the bar, but don’t bother glancing that direction. You knew he was watching you and Ellie talking a second ago, his eyes always trailing you. You didn’t want to look over and see Kelly beside him, so you act like he isn’t even there.

“Another whiskey, pleaseeee,” You beg the bartender standing nearby. He doesn’t look too happy about serving you more, but you had lost all sense of self control about an hour ago and he knew that by the look on your face. He pours you some more dark liquor and sends you on your way.

As soon as you turn to walk away, you spot another familiar face walking directly towards you.

Josh Hall.

He was one of the guys you slept with. He was a nice guy, kinda. He was a know it all, shallow, and a bit arrogant. So maybe not a nice guy.

You slept with him twice, both times when you were drunk. From what you could remember, he didn’t make you cum.

He was only a bit taller than you, blonde hair and blue eyes. He was cute enough to get into your pants. But every time you thought about any other man, you reminded yourself that it wasn’t Joel.

“Hey there,” You try not to slur, “How are ya?”

“Hi beautiful,” He grabs your hand, pulling you in for what you assume is a kiss. You wince, directing his lips to your cheek. He presses his chapped lips against your skin.

“What are you doing?” You ask, trying to avoid the gazes of the people around you. You could feel his eyes on you even from 50 feet away.

“Thought you’d wanna come dance with me,” He has his hand slipping around your waist. You feel a sinking feeling in your stomach. He knew you were drinking, your glass swaying right in front of his face.

Your red flags are raising quickly. Josh never approached you any other times of the day. Never during patrols, never just around town. He only showed interest when you had a glass of liquor in your hand.

“I am actually bringing this drink to someone, so please get off of me,” You lie, trying to get him away.

You had to be patient with a guy like Josh. He could be pushy sometimes, so you had to be firm but sweet. You wouldn’t want to start a stir at a party with a bunch of families, right?

But he wasn’t letting go.

His eyes were piercing into yours. You could tell he was drinking, his eyes a bit glassy like yours. You hadn’t even seen him come into the party. It’s like he just appeared to make you mad.

“Just have one dance with me,” His breath stunk of alcohol and unbrushed plaque. You wanted to vomit.

“No, I need to bring this drink to someone.”

His grip is getting progressively tighter and he’s walking you backward.

“Who? Who’s drink is it? New boyfriend?”

You swallow hard, not knowing who to say.

“It’s for Ellie.”

He smirks, “You givin’ an underage dyke a drink? Don’t think her daddy would like that.”

Something in you flips. Rage. Pure unadulterated rage. Your body doesn’t even give your brain a moment to mull over your next move. You throw the drink on the ground, the glass shattering all over the floor. You step back, finally breaking away from him.

“What did you just fuckin’ say?!”

He releases you, backing up. He had this offended look on his face, like you had kicked a puppy.

Liar.

It made you even more mad.

“What did you say, Josh?” You emphasize his name, never breaking eye contact, “You fuckin’ call her that again I’ll fucking kill you.”

You stomp forward, your hands reaching up to him. You had never snapped so quickly in your life. Something about him saying negative about Ellie made your protective maternal instinct go into overdrive. Ellie meant a lot to you, especially after spending the last year with her and Joel.

Your fingers wrap around his scrawny little throat. He was trying to back away, but a table stopped all his movements. He was pinned.

“You fuckin’ dare talk about her or anyone I fuckin’ know, I will make sure you never utter another wor-“ You feel hands around your waist, pulling you back from possibly choking him out. It almost takes the wind out of you. Your hands let go of his neck, but not without digging your fingernails into his skin.

You are so blindsided, you don’t even know who has a grip on you.

“Hey, hey, stop!” His voice is familiar. Almost Joel’s, but not.

No, because Joel is instead grabbing Josh from the spot you pinned him to. You look back and see Tommy, his face panicked and confused.

You watch as Joel grabs Josh by the shirt, throwing him towards the middle of the dance floor. A bunch of people are standing around watching Josh stumble, trying to gain his composure. The music completely stops, bringing the hall to complete silence. Joel doesn’t give him enough time to stand up straight. You try to push Tommy off of you, but he’s got an iron grip on you.

“What did he say?” Joel yells towards you, gesturing towards Josh. Everyone has completely stopped what they are doing to watch the scene unfold.

You look towards where Ellie is, her face twisted in horror. Jesse stands next to her, his face serious. You know this is probably embarrassing for her, so all the anger leaves your body, replaced with guilt and shame.

“Joel,” You warn, “Please.”

Joel was extremely protective when you two were together. Ever since you two split, he has tried his very hardest to not snap. Once he sees a man’s hands on you, though, he can’t help but let fury fill his entire being. Tonight was no exception except this time, you got violent before he could. Which only meant you had no other choice. You usually keep a calm exterior, trying not to step on anyone’s toes. When you drink, you’re actually sweeter and more complacent.

“What did he say?”

Instead of you saying anything, Maria steps in. She wedges herself between Joel and Josh, making sure neither one of them takes another step.

“Cool it!” She yells, her eyes flying over to you being held back by Tommy.

“He better get his ass out of this tow-“

“Shut it, Joel,” She warns, reaching out for his arm, “Let’s take a walk.”

“‘m not going anywhere,” His voice is booming which sends a chill down your spine, “Get this fucker out of here and away from her.”

He looks towards you, Tommy slowly loosening his grip on your upper body. You wiggle out, trying to steady your breathing. You didn’t even realize that you were panting like a dog.

You’ve completely sobered up. The dizziness you feel is just from adrenaline.

Maria guides Josh to the door, listening to him rant about his side of the story. You look back at Tommy, who’s obviously taken aback by the way you snapped. He’s never seen you so mad.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Tommy. He just said something about Ellie,” You whisper it, trying to ensure Joel didn’t hear. You know well enough that if he found out the words Josh uttered, he would have a pistol between the poor guy’s eyes.

“I think you need to go home and cool down,” Tommy suggests, “This is not the place for that.”

You felt horrible. Everyone’s eyes were still on you. You nod, understanding Tommy’s reasonings for practically kicking you out of the party. He gestures Joel over, grabbing him by the shoulder.

“I’m gonna have someone walk her home,” He nods to you, “Would you be willin’ to or should I ask Jesse?”

Joel shakes his head, “I’ll get her home.”

“I can get home myself,” You retort, trying to regain some sort of control over the situation. You didn’t want Jesse or Joel walking you home, it felt like a walk of shame times a million.

“Get her home safe, Joel,” Tommy remarks, tapping you on the shoulder. He wasn’t giving you an option.

You step over the shattered glass, while Joel guides you to the door. You felt so humiliated, not knowing what face to make at the people who were scowling you. So you keep your head down, grabbing your coat from the chair beside Ellie. Joel is trailing behind you. You look up for a second, meeting Ellie’s brown eyes.

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” You mumble, “For everything.”

She shakes her head, her lips thin, “It’s okay. Get home safe.”

Joel taps your shoulder, nodding his head towards the door. You put your winter coat on, pulling out your hair that’s stuck between it and your thermal.

It was snowing, soft pillows of white ice covering all of Jackson. You breathe out a loud sigh when you get outside, while Joel shuts the dinner hall door.

You didn’t know what to say to him, really. You felt like he shouldn’t have stepped in, but deep down you were glad he did because it probably put the fear of God into Josh. Maybe he won’t ever speak to you again.

When you start on your journey home, you and Joel are silent. You hadn’t spoken much since your separation. You two got into a huge blowout fight in which the both of you said some pretty terrible things to each other. It was the first and last time you yelled at Joel.

“Why can’t I just make my own decisions?”

“You almost got yourself killed! You almost got Ellie killed. How the fuck am I supposed to react? Just let you two back on patrol like nothin’ happened!? No fuckin’ way. You’re not going back out unless I’m with you.”

Your heart was going to beat out of your chest, “I had it under fucking control, Joel! You always find ways to blame me for something! I brought her home. I did. You weren’t fucking there because you were too fucked up to even get up this morning,” You knew that stung, the way his face twisted in disgust, “You’re the last person on Earth to make decisions for me or Ellie.”

You struck a nerve, you could tell by the deadly serious look on his face.

“You don’t know what’s good for, Ellie. Stop actin’ like you fuckin’ do. You have manipulated her to believe she knows what’s good for her. She doesn’t, okay?”

He couldn’t be serious.

“You’re not even her real father, Joel. She is going to remember all the times you shut her down and made her feel like she didn’t have a choice. Is it really worth your pride?”

He slams his fist on the table, “Get the fuck out!”

You accept that as the end of the conversation and the relationship.

You start to walk through the slush, knowing you had a good 15 minute walk home. You felt sick with anxiety.

“How have you been doin’?”

You laugh, “Fuckin’ fantastic, Joel.”

“Yeah me too,” He lies. He clears his throat before continuing, “So, what did he say?”

“Drop it Joel,” You warn, a hiccup coming up your throat, “Let’s just not talk about it ever again.”

“I’ll get it out of ya one day,” He comments, zipping up his jacket some more. You shake your head, chuckling a bit at the absurdity.

“You didn’t have to step in,” You add, “I had it handled. Like I always do.”

His pace picks up, matching yours.

“Wrapping your hands around ‘nother guys throat is not very you, darlin’,” He says, grabbing your arm to halt your next step, “He had to of said something pretty bad for you to throw your drink and choke him out in front of a bunch of people.”

You knew what he was trying to do. He wanted to lure it out of you, but you weren’t caving. He was good at making it seem like there was no choice other than tell him what happened.

“Guess you’ll never know, Miller,” You tug your arm away, “Tommy said you’d walk me home, not interrogate me.”

He huffs, “You are so stubborn.”

You stop mid step, turning to look him in the eye. You couldn’t believe your ears.

“You’re the one to talk, Joel.”

“And you need to quit the drinkin’. Makes you sloppy.”

His tone was condescending and for him to call you out on drinking? No fucking way.

“You sure were sloppy the last couple times I saw you drinkin’. Remember the four patrol shifts you had last summer you couldn’t get to cause you were too fucked up the night before? Or how about a couple weeks ago when you tried to fight that guy at the Bison?”

He takes note of your aggressive tone. You weren’t just going to cower your head and take his shit.

Maybe you were using the drinking to not think about the fact that you missed his stupid ass. Maybe it was to medicate the anxiety that rattled your bones every time he slipped your mind. Either way, he was such a hypocrite for trying to use that against you. Make it seem like he wasn’t doing that same thing when you were still together.

“I’ve quit all the drinkin’… and hey, he called you a name,” He mumbles, “Had to put him in his place.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his statement, “What do you mean he called me a name?”

He continues to walk, almost trying to physically dodge the question. But if he was going to be persistent, you were going to be, too.

“Joel-“

“Garrett said you were whoring yourself out to him and a couple of the other guys. Called you a slut,” He confesses, not looking towards you at all.

You felt sick to your stomach. Garrett was a guy you had patrolled with, a guy who seemed really nice to your face. The same guy Joel gave a black eye to.

“I’ve only slept with like, two other people.”

You could tell it rattled him a bit. It was a statement he couldn’t be mad at, really. He was a man with needs, too.

“Well, the word’s gettin’ around. He said you told him he had the best dick you’ve ever had,” He laughed as the words slipped his tongue, “God knows that’s ain’t true.”

You push your hands into your pockets, “I never slept with him. It’s only been Josh and…”

You stop yourself, instantly feeling sick to your stomach at the next name that almost came out your mouth. It was something you regretted so deeply in every fiber of your being. Something you tried to forget the very second the interaction.

“Who else?”

“No one,” You say, trying to steady your voice, “None of your business.”

“It was Jesse, wasn’t it?”

Caught.

You cough, clearing your throat. You never wanted to talk about this to anyone, let alone Joel. You were desperate and no other guys really made you feel appreciated.

The wind picks up, which causes the snow to billow towards your face and take your breath away.

“Can we just,” You shake your head, trying to get the hair out of your face, “Can we just discuss this when we get to my house?”

He leads the way, moving quickly. You follow close behind, almost using his body as a shield from the snowstorm. When you finally see your house through your frosted lashes, you feel some sense of relief.

Joel walks up to your front porch, gesturing to you to lead the way. You knew you’d have to light a fire in the living room and warm up the small abode, so once you open the door, you rush to your fireplace. You stack wood, not taking much mind to Joel who’s kicking off his shoes and removing his coat.

You didn’t want to do this with him. You didn’t want to discuss anything, explain yourself, or hash out any unresolved bullshit. After the night you had, you wanted to carry yourself straight to bed.

“Want help?”

You crouch down, flicking a match into the pit, igniting the old coals.

“No, I got it, Joel.”

He huffs, sitting down on your slouchy red couch. Nothing in your house was particularly nice, but you kept it clean and tidy. Everything had a spot, except for the man taking up space before you.

“So,” He slaps his hands on his knees, “You want to explain or?”

“No Joel,” You respond, “I don't feel like I owe you an explanation, truthfully. I honestly don’t wanna rehash all this shit with you.”

His lips tighten into a half smirk, “Okay, that’s fine.”

Silence fills the room again. You were shocked he didn’t press it further, but a bit relieved.

“Just wanna ask one thing,” He grumbles. You stand up straight, shimmying your coat down your arms.

“What?”

“Was his dick the best one you’ve ever had?”

You feel like all the air has left your body.

“What?”

“Jesse. Josh. Were they the best you’ve ever had?”

Hearing their names made you cringe. You knew your answer, but you wonder if you should indulge him in the truth.

He knew it already, but he wanted to hear it from your lips. The haze and exhaustion from the crazy evening makes the confession slip from your lips.

“Joel,” You whisper, “You know damn well they aren’t shit compared to you.”

It’s like you blinked and he’s on you. His hands slide up your waist, grabbing your hips and pulling you into a bruising kiss. You don’t pull away because this is what you’ve been wanting.

The sex with Joel was like nothing else. Maybe your relationship was rocky. Maybe you hated the way he spoke to you sometimes. Maybe you hated the way he tried to control every little thing.

But the sex made it all worth it.

The way his hands molded around your body. His lips trailing up and down from your neck to your calves. He knew your body better than you probably knew it yourself. He never walked away from an encounter without making you cum several times. He could play you like his guitar.

You two are falling all over your furniture to make it to the couch. He sits down, holding you close while you straddle his thighs. He’s not letting up, his kisses feverish and hurried.

You pull away to catch your breath. His pupils are huge and his lips are already swollen.

“What are we doing?” You whisper, using your thumb to brush across his pink lips.

“This is what we do, baby,” He grabs your ass, pulling you flush with his crouch, “We fight and fuck. That’s all we do.”

You lean up, grinding down on his growing bulge.

“I shouldn’t want to, but fuck,” You throw your head back, trying to ease the throbbing you feel, “I always want you, Joel.”

“I always want you too, sweetheart,” His hand finds the back of your neck, rubbing circles into the sides while you grind yourself on his lap, “I don’t want any other pussy but yours. No one else compares.”

You smile in sick pleasure, “We are so fuckin’ toxic, Joel Miller.”

He laughs, pulling your head forward. Your eyes meet his and it’s a sudden realization that you two are just actually insane. That after all the bullshit you put each other through, your horniness always wins. He wants you just as much as you want him, and yet you two can never figure out how to work problems out like actual adults.

“Tell me you don’t fuckin’ like it that way,” He trails a kiss up your neck to earlobe, “And I’ll stop right now. Leave you alone forever. Keep your dirty little secret that you like to fuck guys half your age.”

The rise Joel Miller can get out of you should be studied. He knows exactly how to push every button you’ve ever had, even the one’s you didn’t know existed. The idea of people knowing you fucked Jesse makes your stomach twist, especially since he was Ellie’s friend.

You and Joel’s age gap never really bothered you. Maybe it was because he was older than you, but he didn’t feel that much older than you. You felt ancient with Jesse and even Josh. Joel made you feel like you were on the same level with a man.

You stop grinding on him, grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling him back to meet your gaze. He’s smiling a shit eating grin, knowing you’re pissed.

“You’re the guy who’s fucking people half your age,” You lift yourself a bit, looking down at him with half lidded eyes, “And you flaunt it. You love having me as your little play thing. Y-”

“And you fuckin’ love it.”

“I’m talking,” You shush him, “You are going to let me talk.”

You grab his belt undoing it like you used to almost every night, “You’re going to sit back like a good boy, and let me remind you why this is the only pussy you want to fuck.”

Joel has never seen you like this. It’s like the distance between you two gave you time to gain more confidence. You tested him now, and he kind of liked it. He’d never say but he loved when you were bratty to him. Sure, before you were a little smart ass, but you were practically dominating him. It was a good change of pace.

“Talk ‘bout toxic, baby girl,” He groans, “You know I can’t sit back and be a good boy.”

You use one hand to reach into his pants and grab his hard on.

“You’re going to learn today,” You smile, “Because if you don’t, you’ll walk home with blue balls and you can call Kelly over to fuck you.”

He chuckles a bit, “Sounds like you’re jealous.”

You stop your actions, looking at his smug fucking face.

“You literally just interrogated me about how I fucked half of Jackson,” You spit, “I can continue adding to the tallies. Have you watch me whore myself out to all of your patrol partners.”

“You ain-”

“Maybe I’ll get even bolder,” You continue, “Maybe I’ll even try to fuck the other Miller boy.”

You were completely fibbing. You’d never cross that line. You loved Maria and you respected her more than any other person in Jackson. You just really wanted to get under Joel’s skin.

And you quickly realize you did.

He flips you on your back and cages you under his arms.

“You’re a fuckin’ dirty slut,” He is grabbing at your pants, yanking them down. Your jeans were skin tight and wet, but it took no time at all for him to tear them off your body, “You ain’t in charge here.”

“Let me up,” You demand, pushing at his chest. He wasn’t budging, he was on a mission. He tears off your underwear, exposing your wet slit. You didn’t even realize how dripping you were for him.

“Look at you,” He teases, “Fuckin’ pathetic. Tryin’ to say you’d fuck my brother?”

He shakes his head, using his fingers to trace up and down your slit. You wanted to scream out, but your mind goes blank. You were quaking with anticipation. You surrender to him pinning you against the couch. You’d get him back eventually.

“He’d never fuck a slut like you,” He continues, “No, he doesn’t know how to handle someone like you.”

“And you do?”

“I’ve been at it for awhile,” He sticks a single finger in you, making a squelching sound as he does, “Think ‘m gettin’ pretty good at ruinin’ you. Puttin’ you in your place.”

You finally moan out in pleasure, which makes his face twist in satisfaction.

“Fuckin’ Christ, I’ve missed how tight you are,” He groans, “Squeezin’ my fingers and cock so good.”

You’re practically soaking the couch with how wet you are already. All the build up and smack talk really put you in bind, his fingers driving you absolutely wild.

He eases out of you, tracing your body to begin lifting off your shirt. He throws your shirt across the room, noticing you were actually wearing a padded bra. You smile at his realization.

“Found one of these,” You gesture, toying with the straps, “Bet you’d never see the day.”

You had gotten used to never wearing a bra and Joel usually enjoyed it that way. You could never find a comfortable one and all your old ones were ragged and gross. On a recent patrol, you found a red bra in your size in an abandoned home. You stole it, tucking it carefully in your backpack to try on back home. Lucky enough, it fit and made your boobs sit better than they ever have.

“Jesus Christ,” He mutters, lining the bra with his fingers, “As pretty as it is, it needs to go.”

You reach around your back, undoing it without another word. As soon as it is off, his fingers make work at pebbling your nipples. He smacked one with a gentle open hand. You squeak at the impact, watching Joel’s eyes revel at your bare body. He loved seeing you like this, crumbling under his touch.

He props himself up on his knee which is wedged between your thighs. He pulls his shirt over his head, discarding it on the coffee table next to him. His buttons are already undone after you found yourself with your hands down his pants, earlier. He pulls those down too, letting them pool around his ankles.

“For being a brat,” He nudges you, making you move your legs and plant them on the ground. You sit up, his hand ripping you off of your spot on the couch. He positions you between his legs, his cock standing up waiting for you. You sit back on your heels, enjoying the view.

“You’re gonna try to be a good girl and suck me off.”

You smile eagerily, slowly running your hands up his thighs and to the base of his cock. Instead of getting straight to it, you bring the head of his cock to your lips and kiss it softly. You toy with the idea of completely ignoring his demands, but you come to the conclusion that you’d probably get nothing if you did that. And you wanted him so bad. You thought about this moment for so long.

“Stop playin’,” He groans, watching you with his arms laying across the back of your couch. He looked like one of those statues you saw in old textbooks when you were a teenager. The ones you’d see at an old art museum scuplted from marble. The ones with the small dicks. That’s truly the only thing that differentiated the two. Joel was massive.

“I’m not playing,” You disagree, “Shush.”

Before you can continue your tease, he grabs the top of your head. He is usually pretty assertive, but good God, he was not letting you get away with anything. You widen your lips, taking his cock into your mouth. Instead of progressing down his shaft slowly, he makes you take it fully down your throat. It causes you to gag a bit. You pull back, only for him to push you down again.

You grip onto his thighs, digging your nails in a bit. You knew you would probably leave marks with how hard you were pressing into his skin. He winces, but continues to practically face fuck you.

“You don’t tell me to shush, little girl,” He moans, watching your saliva drench his cock. He finally lets you pull up off him, holding your face in the process, “You hear me? You take this cock like a good girl.”

“Yes,” You manage to say, your throat already hurting from taking him in.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good, now come sit on my face.”

You oblige, standing up to let him reposition himself.

You two have done this maybe twice. Each time you practically suffocated him, but he fucking loved every second of lapping you up. You knew that you were in for a ride with the way he was toying with you.

He lays on his back, his hands keen on pulling your legs up to his shoulders. Your ass is positioned on his chest, his face between your thighs. You look down at him, sitting up straight before you ease down, letting your pussy take up the bottom half of his face.

He dives in instantly, his mouth hungrily devouring your pussy. You scream out, letting your body relax against him. His facial hair brushes across your folds and inner thighs while his tongue begins tracing your insides. He stops at your clit, flattening his tongue and pressing forward. You couldn’t control yourself, sinking yourself down further onto him. His nose nudges your folds before he runs his mouth down your slit again, so his nose is now pressed against your clit. He moans into you, the vibrations sending you into ecstasy.

You cum, your juices flowing down his face and your legs. He is moaning so loud, mewling at the fact that you never warned him you were about to cum.

He taps your thighs, advising you to get off of him. You shakingly remove yourself from his face, standing up to look down at him. He was so hard and his lips and beard were soaked with your cum.

“You fuckin’ squirted on me,” He laughs, sitting up. You felt kind of embarrassed, like you couldn’t even contain yourself for more than 2 minutes. “I’ll forgive you since it was hot. No cummin’ without permission.”

“Okay, sorry.”

Even though you weren’t sorry.

Your legs were practically numb and still quaking from your orgasm. You’re breathing heavily, trying to regain your composure. He notices your quivering and starts pulling you into his lap. You widen your legs, mounting his thick thighs. You look down at his cock, it sliding so perfectly between your pussy lips. He was a fucking dream.

He doesn’t even say anything, just watching you try to catch your breath.

“Relax baby,” He mumbles, “We haven’t even gotten started, yet.”

He grabs his cock, stroking it a bit before having you lift off of his thighs. He eases you up and onto the head of his dick. He spits into his hand, coating his shaft with it.

One thing about Joel, is he’s still the biggest you’ve ever had. No one ever got close to him.

The stretch makes you moan out in pure euphoria. You missed it so much. It was something you craved almost every night.

“Fuck,” You whimper, “Never gets old.”

He laughs at your admission, “Likewise.”

He snaps his hips against yours, settling into a slower pace. He was dragging it out, letting your walls become accustomed to him again. After a minute of slow strokes, he picks up his pace. He repositions, kneeling with his one leg extended out to the floor. You’re lifted up in the air partially, grinding down as he meets your motions with his strokes. Your hands are wrapped around his neck, your fingers finding his hair. His hands and grappling at your sides while you two moan in unison.

You two were finally on the same page, not bickering, just fucking out your feelings. You felt the aggression, resentment, and fear dwindling away from you as you sweat out the brutal pace he’s bringing to the table.

“I don’t want anyone else,” He sighs in between his cock hitting you at the perfect angle, “I only want this.”

You don’t think to hard about it, whimpering your response.

“Please let me cum. Please.”

“So pretty when you beg.”

He’s drilling into you at this point, your tits bouncing right into his face. You lazily throw your head back, letting him take one of your nipples into his mouth. You’re so overly sensitive, you don’t know what to say other than beg him to let you release.

“Fuck Joel, I’m gonna cum. Please, let me cum.”

He releases your tit with a pop, “Cum for me, baby.”

After two more strokes, you’re falling apart in his arms. He wraps himself around you, fucking you through the second orgasm.

He’s a whimpering mess, chasing his own release.

“Fuck, baby, fuck.”

“Cum for me, Joel. Moan out for me.”

His deep and guttral moan sends shockwaves through your body. You could feel his cum release inside you, while his arms grow tighter around you. After he finishes, he lays you back onto the arm of the couch. His cock still rests inside you, twitching at every little movement your hips made.

He swipes his forehead for sweat, marveling at you. He looks so endearing, like he didn’t just fuck your brains out and call you a bunch of names. The thought makes you giggle.

“What?”

You shake your head, touching his chest with your fingers, “You’re just handsome.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

You swat him while he slowly eases out of you. You whine a bit, letting the heat from the fireplace warm your body as oppose to Joel’s body heat.

He stands up, abandoning you on the couch as he picks up his discarded clothes. You prop yourself up, trying to sit up but your body feels like jello.

Your really didn’t want to watch him go.

“You should stay.”

His back is turned away from you. He freezes as he grabs his shirt from the coffee table where it landed.

He clears his throat, “Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to leave.”

It was true. You wanted to figure it out. You wanted so badly for this to change everything. But it was just sex. Exactly how this trainwreck started.

He starts to get dressed. You didn’t want to take that as his answer, but deep down you knew this is how things worked. You’d been through it with Joel before. You just had to wait for Ellie to come in and call you his “lady friend” and have him demand you “go get dressed”. It was the same thing every time. You thought it meant something but it really didn’t.

Once he slips his shirt over his head, he walks back to sit next to your naked frame. He brings his hand up to trace your leg, which is perfectly nudged up against him.

You really don’t want to believe all the things running through your mind. You craved an explanation.

“You said you only wanted this, Joel,” You grab a blanket from the back of the couch to cover yourself. You could tell he was at war with his thoughts, “Why can’t we start again? Do I seriously not mean anything to you?”

He realizes you’re pleading with him. He felt so guilty and it was written all over his face.

“Of course you mean somethin’ to me,” He acknowledges, “But we can’t keep doin’ what we were doin’. We always end up screamin’ bout somethin’ stupid. I don’t want to make you unhappy. You deserve to be happy.”

You contemplate for a moment, unsure how to respond.

“If being with you means screamin’ about something stupid and fighting over patrols and drinking too much and bickering over Ellie’s future,” You huff out, trying to not let the hitch in your throat become obvious, “Then I want it. I want it all. All the shit, all the fights. I want it because it’s with you.”

He doesn’t say anything immediately. The silence was deafening.

“We can try,” He mutters, “But we gotta stop tryin’ to fix everythin’ with sex. We gotta like… talk about things.”

You laugh out loud, noting his seriousness. You two were seriously thinking the same things.

“Can we talk about our problems, like, during the sex?”

You were completely joking. You wait for his response, but it comes with him shaking his head. You wrap your arm around his shoulders, pulling him in. Your boobs press against his now clothed chest. You feel his hands slide up and down your sides. You groan in pleasure, his touch sending chills down your spine. You wanted it like this. Forever.

He clears his throat, “Well if I’m sticking around… round two?”

THE END.

taglist: @pedrotonin @mysingularitybts @harriedandharassed @paleidiot @misatoad @lottieellz101 @cool-iguana @bbyanarchist @am-3-thyst

#joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel miller the last of us #cool about it #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #joel miller tlou #tlou smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #the last of us smut

294 notes · View notes

carowleysposts · 1 year ago

Text

Here are my predictions for GO3 (plus some things i would just love to see happening)

1. I think there’ll be a small time jump, Aziraphale is in Heaven doing his thing (and silently suffering) and Crowley is just trying to get by, absolutely devastated, probably doing something to help some humans that he got to know recently;

2. Something is gonna come up and Aziraphale will have to go to Earth, where they’ll finally see each other again. Their eyes will meet, Azi is gonna say “Crowley” and Crowley will ALMOST say “Angel” but will stop himself and say “Aziraphale”, and it’ll be tense, and angsty, and epic.

3. Whatever brought Azi to earth will end up being related to the humans Crowley is helping, and Aziraphale will need his help fixing the problem. Since Crowley could never say no to helping his angel, he’ll do it, even though things are still very awkward and cold between them. Aziraphale will try and act like nothing happened, to get closer to Crowley, but Crowley is still very much heartbroken. They’ll have to work together to solve the problem, but he’s still keeping his distance and being a sad little demon.

4. At some point, something funny happens and they end up laughing their asses off, having a very spontaneous, relaxed moment when everything seems to be back to normal. This will open a door for them to be in a good place again, their dynamic is almost the same as before. They end up having dinner and their song plays at the restaurant. In the car, as Crowley drives Azi home, he mentions “that was the song i had picked out for us to listen on the way to the Ritz that day”. They still don’t completely talk about it, but they ALMOST kiss, only one of their phones rings and they end up calling it a day.

5. This has to do with the rooftop theory (picture 2) - at some point, they’ll be on the roof of Dirty Donkey, probably on the lookout for something, and they’ll end up talking. Like, talking about IT. About that day, about everything. And crying, and holding hands. They won’t kiss yet, but they’ll hold hands and sit quietly on the roof.

6. After some epic battle/ fight/ climactic scene, Aziraphale WILL pull Crowley in and kiss him. He HAS TO BE the one to do it, and this time they’ll KISS KISS. Long, passionate, romantic kiss. Like the world was about to end (and maybe that’s what’s happening, idk).

7. The conflict will be resolved, and Aziraphale decides to stay on Earth with Crowley. They move Crowley’s things into the bookshop and the closing scene is just the both of them slow dancing to “A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square” while torrential rain pours outside.

#aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #good omens #ineffable husbands #gomens #neil gaiman #ineffable idiots #ineffable divorce #prime video #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #crowleys bentley #bentley #a nightingale sang in berkeley square

88 notes · View notes

imzadi-caskett-huddy · 7 months ago

Text

It Started With a Kiss (2/?)

This chapter is taken from the episode “Lucky Stiff,” so according to the original air dates, it takes place 2 weeks after the last chapter. “Knockdown” aired on Jan 24 and “Lucky Stiff” aired on Feb 7.

Once again, I want to point out that the events unfold exactly as they happen on the show, with the exception of what you see written here. The storylines are all connected…each chapter is NOT standalone.

I still, unfortunately, do not own Castle.

xxxxx

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since that undercover kiss, since that night at her apartment where the whiskey had made him brave enough to tell her he was in love with her and kiss her. Two weeks since her hand on his chest had ever so gently pushed him away. They hadn’t talked about either kiss since that night, and they certainly hadn’t talked about his confession; he hadn’t been brave enough while sober, and he figured she didn’t want to make things awkward between them. It was like an unspoken rule, a line that they danced around but neither dared to cross…and when he had dared to smudge it that night, she had carefully pushed him back on the other side.

He hadn’t been able to get the two kisses out of his head, for different reasons. The kiss at her apartment had lasted maybe 3 or 4 seconds before she had pushed him away, long enough for her to have allowed it to happen; it wasn’t like she instantly shoved him back. No, it was more like she was stopping herself from allowing it to continue. She hadn’t returned that kiss, but he’d still felt a spark. Maybe the reason she wouldn’t allow that kiss to continue any longer than it had was because of the way their first kiss had started so innocently and then quickly grown into a raging inferno.

That undercover kiss still haunted his dreams. The way her lips felt against his, the way she had been the one to dive into that second kiss, the way she’d been the one to invade his mouth with her tongue…aggressively…the way she moaned; that hadn’t been his imagination, and it certainly hadn’t been all a show. The guard hadn’t been close enough to tell if they were kissing with tongue, so it certainly hadn’t been necessary.

He’d dreamt about her nearly every night since then. They all started the same…with that ridiculously hot kiss. They all had similar endings…with them in various states of undress, grinding against each other for release either up against a wall in the alley or against her car,

even in the back of her car. And then he always woke up alone, feeling the ghost of her fingers in his hair, the way her tongue danced against his, the way she’d bitten his lip, still able to taste her on his lips. After every dream, he’d take a few moments to savor the memories before pulling himself from bed and heading for his shower to find relief; it was almost ritualistic at this point.

Their latest case had her asking him if he’d go undercover with her again, in a club. He’d eagerly agreed; undercover work was fun, and spending time with her on an almost date in a club…no way was he going to turn her down and have her ask Ryan or Esposito to join her. He was her partner, he had her back; he was going to keep showing up for her. He realized, though, after seeing the dress she was wearing, that it was going to be a long evening of torture for him. And when he saw the way she handled his Ferrari, he knew he was in deep trouble.

Beckett danced her way into the club and through the crowd, Castle following close behind as always, but he wasn’t dancing. He was too preoccupied watching the way her body moved…it was mesmerizing. When she got a little space on the dance floor, she pulled him close and started dancing against him. She rolled her eyes as he stood there, still staring at her in awe. “Staring is creepy,” she leaned in close to his ear to speak, so close that her lips brushed against his skin. “This isn’t a day at Disneyland, Castle. If you don’t act like we’re together, some other guy is going to try, and that’s not how this undercover thing works. So dance with me and keep your eyes peeled for Oz.”

He swallowed hard, doing his best to keep his composure as he inhaled the scent of cherries from her hair that was brushing against his lips. This night might kill him. “Okay,” he managed to murmur, one hand moving to her waist, but definitely not daring to be inappropriate.

She rolled her eyes when he didn’t loosen up after a few moments and leaned close to his ear again. “Stop acting like you’re afraid I’m going to shoot you. You’re supposed to be my boyfriend, so act like it,” she murmured, her hand taking his wrist and moving the hand he had on her waist down to a much more inappropriate position on her ass. Get with it, she tried to convey the message with the look she sent him as she pulled back to dance against him again.

After a deep breath which he released slowly, he tried to do what she asked and loosen up. His hands moved over her body every bit the way a lover’s would. Oh, he was definitely going to die tonight; death by Kate Beckett. The way her body moved sinfully against his as they danced so close, in sync…all he could think about was how her body would feel moving like that against his, her skin against his skin, between his ridiculously high thread count Egyptian cotton bed sheets. He had no idea how long he’d been fantasizing when was shaken out of his it by the feel of her breath on his ear, but he had no idea what she said.

“Castle!” she hissed in his ear, finally getting his attention. “Have you seen Oz yet?” she asked, pulling back slightly to get his reaction.

“No,” he shook his head. But he hadn’t really been looking either; he’d been too busy fantasizing about her moving her body the way she was in his bed without her dress on.

“Keep looking,” she told him. She let her eyes scan around the room again, searching through the crowd as she slowly danced them through the people. They needed to find Oz quickly so they could get out of there. She could feel how he was affected by this whole situation every time her hips moved against his, and it would be a lie to say it wasn’t affecting her almost as much. She needed to get them both out of the position she’d put them in before one or both of them would do something in the heat of the moment that would really complicate things between them.

She knew it would have been smarter, safer to have taken Espo with her to the club. He would have been able to pass as her boyfriend without the same effect she and Castle were having on each other; then again, she may not have danced quite as closely with him either. She’d told herself that she and Castle were a much more convincing couple than she and Espo; she and Castle were more in sync and exuded chemistry…Castle was her partner. And she had selfishly wanted to go to the club with him, selfishly wanted an hour with him like this to pretend…pretend reality didn’t exist, pretend Josh didn’t exist, pretend that she was his.

The kiss they’d shared two weeks ago still played through her head. She’d never felt pure, intense fire in her veins from a kiss like that before. No man had ever made her feel that way, certainly not from just a kiss. If only her life weren’t so complicated, if she hadn’t built a fortress around her heart, maybe it could be different, maybe she could be with him. It just wasn’t that simple. Josh was safe; she couldn’t get hurt with Josh; her heart was never in danger. But Castle…Castle had the power to shatter her heart and completely destroy her.

Finally, she spotted their target in a booth by the opposite wall. “Oz is in a booth along that back wall. Go get us drinks while I go over to him. Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes…you’ve got my cuffs,” she reminded him.

He watched her ass in the tight, short skirt of her dress as she started dancing away. When she stopped and turned back after a moment, catching him staring and giving him one of her looks, he was torn completely from the fantasy world he’d been in for the past hour with her. “Drinks, right,” he smiled, heading for the bar.

His mind wandered as he waited for the drinks. He watched her flirt with the drug dealer so effortlessly. He wasn’t surprised she’d made her detective rank working in vice; she was a natural, and she was hot. Most men wouldn’t peg her for a cop. He made a point to try to remember to ask her for some stories from her days in vice; he wanted to know about the undercover work she’d done.

Undercover work…that made him close his eyes with a smile at the way it felt having her body

pressed up against his, sliding against his just minutes ago. These were memories he was sure would replace that of her kiss in his dreams. He opened his eyes to see their drinks on the bar in front of him. He paid the bartender, and with a soft sigh knew their night was coming to an end. He knew that for now at least, this was the only way he could have her like that…undercover and in his memories.

Castle had just made it to the booth in time to see Beckett slam Oz’s head into the table with his hand twisted behind his back and kick the bodyguard in the crotch, which made him wince. God, she was hot when she was badass like that. When he saw her outstretched hand, he offered her one of the drinks with a smile, about to make a comment about her badassery.

“No! Handcuffs!” she told him, shaking off the drink.

“Right. Sorry,” he put one of the drinks down for a moment to pull the handcuffs out of his pocket and hand them to her.

xxxxx

“Castle!” Beckett greeted him when she opened the door and saw him standing there.

“I know what you would do if you won the lottery,” he walked past her into her apartment, proud of himself.

“By all means, please come in,” she rolled her eyes, closing her door. “So, what is your big insight into a financial decision that I will never have to make?” she arched an eyebrow slightly.

He smiled. “You would use the money to honor your mother’s legacy.” His eyes were soft as he studied her. He was right. “On the way over here, I called the dean of your mom’s old law school. We talked about starting a scholarship in Johanna Beckett’s name. One that would provide a full ride for a student planning on dedicating their career to those in the legal system without a voice, the kind of people your mom championed. And, with your blessing, I would like to host a fundraiser to fund it.”

He wanted to…what? She was completely caught off guard by this gesture. He was just supposed to be trying to guess what she’d do with a lot of money, not make what felt like some grand romantic gesture for her. “You just can’t stay out of my personal life can you?”

Castle’s smile faded slightly. Maybe he overstepped, maybe this was too much…maybe…

Beckett smiled then. “Thank you. It’s really sweet.” She couldn’t help but look at the floor a little nervously.

“We definitely have to invite the mayor, and all of his campaign contributors,” he started, moving

past her toward her dining room table and pulling a paper out of his pocket as he took a seat. “Some of them can be boorish. There’s this one guy…” he trailed off when he caught her staring at him. “What?”

She shook her head slightly, a smile on her face. God, she was falling in love with him...or maybe she already was in love with him and was just now beginning to realize it. “Would you like some wine?” she asked softly.

“That would be great while we plan out the details,” he agreed, already writing down some notes.

She disappeared into her kitchen to grab a bottle of red and a couple of wine glasses. This latest gesture had her heart somersaulting. She couldn’t imagine anyone doing anything sweeter for her. She couldn’t even put into words how it made her feel, how he was making her feel. Taking a seat next to him at the table, she handed him a glass before taking a sip of hers.

They sat at her table talking and planning for over an hour, and by the time they had finished off the bottle, they had worked out most of the details of the event, and what was important to her to include. She still couldn’t believe not only had he come up with this, but he was sharing it with her and putting it into action.

“This really is very sweet, Castle,” she told him honestly, resting a hand on his arm.

He returned her smile, meeting her eyes. “It was your idea.”

She laughed softly. “How was it my idea?”

“I heard you talking to my mother…about what she should do with the money. This evening it sort of clicked into place, that you would want to honor your mom. I just came up with a way to do it that didn’t involve you winning the lottery,” he shrugged.

She couldn’t help the way she was looking at him. This man was so incredible…that he would do this for her, give this to her…something she didn’t even know she wanted. “Castle, I don’t know what to say,” she finally admitted softly.

He smiled. “You don’t have to say anything.”

They both sat staring deeply into each other’s eyes, simply getting lost there for a few moments. She wanted so badly to kiss him after all of this. But she couldn’t. She was committed to another man…at least physically. Though she’d come to realize this evening that Josh did not have her heart; she’d been emotionally committed to Castle first. So was she cheating on Castle with Josh? It kind of felt like it now. But if she did kiss Castle, that was definitely cheating on Josh...right? What was she supposed to do when one man had her emotional commitment and

the other her physical commitment; when one man had the power to wreck her, and every instinct in her head was telling her to run, but the other was safe because he couldn't make her feel enough to really hurt her? The twisted logistics were making her head spin.

“It’s late,” she said softly, finally breaking the spell between them.

“Yeah,” he agreed, moving to stand. He grabbed his coat from the back of one of the chairs and put it back on. “I’ll hire an event planner, and let you know when we can meet with them,” he promised.

“That sounds great,” she nodded, walking him to her door. She paused a moment before opening it to raise up and give him a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Thank you. For all of this,” she whispered. “You’re an amazing man.”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled.

Taking a deep breath, she tore her eyes away from his and opened the door so he could leave. “Goodnight, Castle.”

xxxxx

I always felt like they were in and out of the club far too quickly in the episode, though I understand the logistics filming wise of why. So I wanted a little bit longer of a scene where they were actually undercover together for more than 3 minutes.

And I always thought this scholarship set up in her mother’s name was a huge grand gesture that was highly underrated and we never heard about it again. Never fear, I am here to resurrect it! I plan on having the fundraiser at some point over one of the next chapters of this story! There is no way they are not going to that!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! As I said before, I'm rotating updates between this and my other story. It will most likely be about a week before there's an update here, because I've got to write the next chapter in Hell Hath No Fury and deal with Castle's embarassment at the cabin.

Also if any of you ever have problems finding chapters of my stories, it's all over on fanfiction.net under the penname THE Imzadi Fan

#castle #caskett #kate beckett #richard castle

20 notes · View notes

lykaios2 · 1 year ago

Note

I really love your work and was wondering if you could do a mm Mikey x reader who is like really involved in the fine arts? (Stuff like singing, dancing, and acting) Maybe reader does musical theatre or songwriting? Is on the dance team? Or maybe on the improve team with him? It’s up to you but I just think it’d be really cute!

Thank You!🫶

OMG HERE IT IS REAL AND ACTUAL CONTENT

I'm sorry this took so long, I've been kinda busy trying to figure college out these past few days and also I've been busy in general (and depressed but that's not too important)

anyway I thought this was a very cute idea (you might be able to tell by how much I wrote)

here you go! hope you enjoy ❤️

Mikey first met you after joining the improv club at school

You two didn’t hang out much outside of school, just having a class or two together

But being in an environment like that, you get to know someone pretty fast

Performing in skits and plays together, you and Mikey got to know each other a lot better

Then you started hanging out in class more

It wasn’t long before you two hit it off

Being the two goofballs you were, you bounced off of each other

You two were the class clowns in school

The comedy duo that everyone knew

Soon enough, your friendship started reaching outside of school

Mikey invited you to the sewers, or you invited him to your house, or you two just met up somewhere in between

It didn’t matter to you guys, you always had fun

But one day Mikey found himself feeling a little different

Nothing was wrong, but everything you did made him feel like he wanted to be even closer to you

So that he did

He started being overall more affectionate

He gave you more hugs, held your hand while walking places, asking if you needed to talk about anything

He didn’t think much of it

He was just trying to show you he cared more

But little did he know you took it as something different

Part of being a good dancer and actor was being able to express yourself with emotions

Being in dance for such a long time, you were very in tune with your emotions

So when Mikey started being more affectionate, you returned the favor

But Mikey made the same mistake you did

So now you both thought that the other one had a crush on you

~~~~~~~

“Hey Mikey! How’ve you been?” You said, waving as you greeted him.

“Oh, I’m doing good! How about you?”

“Same here, but I actually have something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…”

“You know, me too.”

“Say it at the same time?”

“You already know it! Okay, 1, 2, 3…”

“Do you have a crush on me?”

You both stared at each other, dumbfounded.

“Wait…huh?”

“I thought you…”

An awkward silence filled the air, waiting for something to be said. Mikey was the one to break the silence.

“Well…do you?”

“No…do you?”

“Nope. But…since we both thought we did…”

“Are you suggesting we start dating?” You finished his thought.

“Only if you want to. I don’t want to force you.”

“I mean, we pretty much already are. How many people do you think have thought we were dating?”

“Probably a lot.” He laughed. “Well, I guess it’s official now. So…can I say I love you now?”

“You were always allowed to do that, silly.”

“Oh.”

#lykaios writes #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem #mikey mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem x reader #mikey x reader #tmnt mm #mm mikey

50 notes · View notes

missingmark · 2 years ago

Note

can’t wait for pt 3!!

― old habits die hard pt.3 (final part)

Picking up your sister from her own prom Matt takes the second chance he's been presented to tell you all the things he never said.

‧₊˚ matt x fem!reader

‧₊˚ warnings: reader has nails done again and makeup on! also not proofread bc im tired and its 2 am :c ill do it tomorrow tho (?)

‧₊˚ word count: 1.4k

‧₊˚ masterlist - part 1 | part 1.5 | part 2

‧₊˚ want to be on the taglist?

Matt thought about holding your hand.

This has been a recurring urge for the past 3 years now but for the first time in weeks he couldn’t act upon it and it was really taking all of his self control to not reach for your fingers that were resting on top of your thigh, drumming a mindless pattern into the material of your pants as you looked out of the window.

His hand would sometimes inch a bit towards yours, but everytime they even so much as grazed your fingers you would suddenly reach for your water or for the phone to change the song.

All the signs were pointing towards the fact that you’re mad at him or that your feelings about him have changed in some sort of negative sense over the last few days.

He tried not to sigh too loudly but he was growing more and more frustrated and worried with how distant you seemed lately.

The call from your sister, asking you if you could maybe pick her up from prom was an opportunity for Matt to get some time alone with you, in the hopes of discussing this sudden tension that had formed seemingly out of nowhere between the two of you.

He parked somewhere in front of his old school, the familiar building seemed much different tonight, but in a whole other way than it did during his own prom night.

The music was still softly playing on the radio and every once in a while Matt would glance towards you, one of his hands resting on the steering wheel, the other on his thigh.

“I texted her we’re here, she says she’ll say goodbye to her friends and will be out in a minute,” you mumbled, your eyes trained on your phone, not once meeting Matt’s eyes.

He just hummed in acknowledgement, a silence that was so unusually awkward hung in the air and it physically pained him that for the first time in Matt’s life he didn’t feel as though you and him were even friends at all.

“I hate this,” he murmured, his head finally turning towards you, burning holes into the side of your head as he waited for you to reciprocate his stare.

“High school?” You questioned jokingly, knowing exactly what he was actually talking about but hoping that he wouldn’t start this conversation. “You know what I mean,” Matt murmured, this time he reached out for your hand, a sudden bravery overcoming him that he wasn’t aware he had.

Your eyes fell onto his hand, resting on top of yours, tracing mindless shapes into the back of your hand as he waited for you to speak.

“You wanna sit on the bleachers for a bit while we wait?”

It wasn’t what Matt had expected you to say, but any words that were directed towards him with your full intent were cherished and appreciated by him at this point and so he hopped out of the car as quick as he possibly could, walking around to open your door and pulling you towards the familiar field with a hopeful smile on his face.

The bleachers looked just as strange and unfamiliar as they did two years ago, only this time there was some sense of melancholy mixed in between, it was weird seeing this place again after you had spent almost every day of your life for 4 years here.

“Isn’t it weird?” Matt began, “to be here again, I mean.”

You thought back to your high school self, how much effort and time you put into wearing your hair the way that Matt had complimented it once when the two of you were twelve, the way you did your Makeup and practised slow dancing over and over again just in case he might ask you that night.

In more ways than one you were here again.

“Yeah, I guess so,” is the answer you ultimately settle on, your eyes staying on the floor as you tried to distract yourself from the fact every glance at his face made you want to kiss him.

“You called me pretty that night, for the first time after 3 years of friendship,” you spoke, no real emotion behind your words, you spoke it like a fact and there was a bittersweetness to the memory.

“I think that was the only time you called me pretty, actually.”

It was in this split second that Matt had realised something so crucial and life-changingly important, he was almost embarrassed he didn’t think about it sooner.

As the light from inside the building illuminated your face, that was just as beautiful now as it was then, in the same way that it had during your own prom night Matt noticed that this might be the second chance he had been wishing for ever since to say what he didn’t get to say the first time around.

“But you know I think you do,” he scooted a bit closer to you, his hand taking yours into his, “I always think you’re pretty.”

Matt has never seen you blush before, or at least he hadn't noticed, but the sight, even in this darkness, was one he couldn’t get enough of and he suddenly saw how good it feels to speak his mind.

Neither you nor him could have expected his next words.

“I should have kissed you that night.”

He scoots a little closer

“And every night after that.”

His voice softening.

“I should have asked you to dance and I should spend my time telling you how pretty you are instead of just thinking about it.”

Your heart had never beaten this fast and the more he spoke the more you were convinced you were dreaming all of this.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I should have told you I like you. Because I do, still and the thought of not being your friend, at the very least, has killed me the past few days.”

He waits for you to speak, clearly noticing you still needed some time to process all his words.

“I never knew…,” you began, leaning onto your hand to get even closer to Matt.

“I didn’t think you felt the same.”

“Wait…the same?”

It was Matt’s turn to blush.

“Obviously, you goof.”

“I thought you were developing a crush on Chris.”

“Ew.”

“My thoughts exactly,” he giggled along with you, your shoulders touching at this point as he glanced towards you again when your laughter died down.

“So…what now?”

Subconsciously his tongue darted out to slightly wet his lips and at this point Matt had already said too much to hide the blatant glance towards yours.

“I guess, you could make up for all those times you never kissed me,” you mumbled, your lips hovering over his before finally feeling the softness of mouth against yours, his hand finding its way to the side of your face as he kissed you so delicately you could barely even recognise him. Pulling away his eyes searched for yours, looking for permission to do it again, which you gladly gave.

The second kiss was much more passionate, eager in a way that made it really clear to the both of you just how long you had been waiting for this.

Your hands found their way into his hair and you thanked all your stars for this truly perfect-

“Gross,” the disgusted comment from your sister made the two of you jump apart, looking towards her in embarrassment.

“Once you two are done, can we go home?” She mumbled over her shoulder, walking towards the car.

As much as you tried to hide your giddiness, the smile on your faces told your sister all she needed to know as the two of you followed after her.

“So, does that mean I get to hold your hand whenever I want to?” Matt mumbled, trying to hold back his smile.

“I guess it does.”

“Good, because I was honestly planning on biting my nails again just so you'd let me hold yours…speaking of, does that also mean I can bite your-”

“Don’t push it,” you mumbled back before slipping your hand into his.

“Fine, fine, I won’t.”

He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as he reached for the car keys with his other hand.

With a smile, you spoke.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

taglist

@stxrniqlo @jvdethirlwall @yoongoboongo @maddymaddie @blondiexx1 @insane-fangirl @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @becicamina @l0v3r0fr0ck @f3ssss @taking-a-footnote-in-your-life

ill write 1 last side part this weekend but the story is done :)

thank you all for the kind feedback i really hope you enjoyed this! know that the series im working on rn is the one that i've been planning for a while and is the reason i made this blog in the first place!

i promise i wont disappoint you! :)) and it will be so much cooler than anything ive ever written! :D also ill try to upload that new series every second day, so i hope to prewrite it over the next few days :))

i hope you enjoyed, luv u soooo much<3

#matt sturniolo fanfiction #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x yn #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets fanfiction #sturniolo triplets x you #sturniolo triplets fanfic #sturniolo triplets x yn #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo triplets #missingmark #missingmark writes

221 notes · View notes

bimboficationblues · 4 months ago

Note

Top 5 elden ring bosses

not going to include the DLC bosses because I know people are trying to avoid spoilers, though Messmer would probably be up there (and I'm fine with mentioning him since he's in the trailer). I will say that going back to base game bosses after playing the DLC was wild, most of the DLC's bosses have traits that are so needlessly difficult like every single one of them launching themselves at you like a rocket as soon as you step through the fog wall.

Honorable Mentions are Margit/Morgott (great initial skill check and satisfying to go toe-to-toe with him again later on more equal footing) and Dragonlord Placidusax (my fave dragon fight in the game)

5. Mohg, Lord of Blood - really enjoy the way Mohg demands you to maneuver, his vibes are rancid and I love them, I think it has some real clever busted mechanics that will reward the exploration the game relies on like being able to shackle him (fucked up) or negate the nihil blast

4. Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy - I think they really perfected their "spectacle" fight with this one, particularly the heritage from Storm King and Yhorm, by giving the weapon a full moveset. A lot of the huge monster fights can feel sort of awkward but this one just feels excellently balanced. And he acts as one of the more interesting antagonist characters in the game

3. Godfrey / Hoarah Loux - raw aggression, first phase is the culmination of the delayed-tell "knight" fights that characterize most of the demigod battles, then second phase is incredibly unique since normally humanoid enemies are using some form of weapon or magic. some of those tracking grabs in the second phase have frustratingly deceptive dodge timings but they're also so wacked out as a spectacle that I kind of appreciate them.

2. Malenia, Blade of Miquella / Goddess of Rot - masochistic of me, but I think Malenia is great. a lot of this is carried by her aesthetic and place in the narrative but overall I like the push and pull between her various strengths and weaknesses. beating her is always satisfying and while occasionally frustrating to get there, it always feels worth it at the end. (not something I can say about all bosses that take a bajillion tries, cough cough, the final DLC boss.) the Waterfowl Dance move is a fine idea that was poorly executed because it feels so luck-based in getting around it, but I've gotten more used to it. Also, I think she's a boss that really rewards a diversity of build designs, which I think is great for these games - her susceptibility to status buildups and poise breaks, for instance

Maliketh, the Black Blade - super fun glass cannon design, varied moveset, has a nice little nostalgia value via the similarities to Artorias while not feeling like an imitation or repetition. maybe a bit *too* easy to shred through if you know what you're doing but I always get a thrill doing this fight, especially dodging some of his ranged blasts or gap-closing swings. I really love his design and think the Shadow/Empyrean relationship is one of the most interesting details in ER lore as well, and his VA really sells the character. DESTINED DEATH. Plus I think the battle rewards a bit of exploration in going to Volcano Manor and then fighting Bernahl to get the Blasphemous Claw, if you're into that.

11 notes · View notes

filmtv2022 · 2 years ago

Text

All Series/Works Masterlist:

I'm going to compile my series masterlists & any standalone pieces that I write in this post (at least for now). The look of the list will change as I write more. Happy reading!

Please assume that ALL works are 18+

All reader pairings are written as female readers unless otherwise stated in the description

----------------------------------------

(Series) To The Bitter End: Doc Holliday x Earp!reader (completed)

15 Chapters (word count - approx. 47k)

Story Summary: The youngest Earp sibling joins her older brothers in Tombstone with the hope that the new climate will ease her consumption/tuberculosis symptoms and reconnect her family. But as she settles into this new life, will she find something worth living for? Someone who can tame the loneliness? --------------------------------------------- (Series) By Your Side: Rhett Abbott x reader (completed)

23 Chapters (word count - 115k)

Story Description: Returning to Wabang was never something that Y/N had planned on, but with the loss of her father leaving her the sole owner of her family’s farm she must go back. Time spent at home forces Y/N to face the people she left behind. Will Y/N be able to navigate the murky waters of her past and present as the lines between them blur?

--------------------------------------------

(One-shot) One More Ride: Rhett Abbot x Reader

(18+ MDNI) Rhett & Y/N spend their last night in Wabang together. Pushing away the weight of the world by falling into one another's arms.

-----------------------------------------------

(One-shot) When does it stop?: Jake Seresin x original character (reference to Bradley Bradshaw x original character)

Word Count - 397

Based on the thought of what would have happened if Bradley had been married before the Uranium mission, and Jake had been unable to save him and Maverick.

________________________________ (One-shot) Coming Home: Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia x Reader

Word Count - approx. 5k

Story Summary: Mickey and Y/N are visiting Y/N’s hometown while away on leave. Shockingly, the pair find themselves invited to her childhood friend’s Halloween gathering. This might sound like a dream, but it’s been four years since Y/N’s had any real contact with her friend, but with a little encouragement she decided to face her fears and go. While Y/N expects awkwardness to ensue, she certainly never expected to catch a raging case of baby fever.

---------------------------------------

(One-shot) Summer Haze: Robert 'bob' Floyd x Reader

Word Count: approx. 3k

Story Summary: After years of dancing around their feelings for one another, Y/N and Bob find their way back to one another at a community potluck.

-------------------------------------

(Mini-series - Completed)

Together: Jake 'Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Together Part 2: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Together Part 3: Jake 'hangman' Seresin x Reader

Word Count: approx. 6k

Story Summary: Y/N and Jake have been friends since their time at the Naval Academy. The two of them acting as each others’ refuge during every up and down. But when a death in the family rocks Y/N’s foundation the two are forced to acknowledge the reality that their feelings for one another go far beyond just a friendship.

(One-Shot) The Case (18+ MDNI) Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Series) Moving Foward Masterlist

Y/N Kazansky is many things. A loyal daughter, a world-class fighter pilot, and a fierce protector of those she holds most dear. But beyond the shiny exterior is a wounded woman looking to find her way back to the life she'd known and loved. When a mission brings her back to Top Gun, she is forced to confront the sins of her past while focusing on the uncertain future falling into place in front of her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

(Series) (In the Bleak Midwinter)

Left with the dying wish of her husband, Y/N finds herself in Birmingham in search of one Thomas Shelby. Old wounds for both will be brought to light as the pair finds a way to heal from the hurt of the past together.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

(One-shot) Every Part of You - Aziraphale x Reader

(One-shot) Ineffable Agony - Aziraphale x Reader x Crowley (gender neutral reader)

145 notes · View notes

tea-stained-notes · 18 days ago

Text

Steve Rogers x OFC - Waiting On a Miracle, Chapter 7

After catching an infamous serial killer in the act, Julie Castillo is in line for the witness protection program. She is sent to a temporary safe house with U.S. Marshal Steve Rogers to protect her. Both of them scarred by trauma and tragedy, they find solace in each other. But how far will they dare to go?

Somehow, another two months have passed - whoops. But you're being rewarded with an extra long chapter that is mostly smut FINALLY lol Hope you enjoy!

Series warnings: violence, death, angst, trauma, smut

Chapter warnings: anxiety, smut

Chapter word count: ~3250

Song(s) referenced: -

When I entered the kitchen the following morning, Steve looked as if he had slept as much as me: not at all. We mumbled our greetings, a tension in the air that felt nothing like the one from the night before. He was washing his breakfast dishes while I prepared my tea and porridge. Our usual easy dance around each other was awkward and clumsy, apologies given and accepted with eyes cast downward. Eventually he muttered something about chopping firewood, pulled on his boots and jacket, then practically ran out the front door. I folded myself into a chair, trying to soothe the burning ache in my stomach with sips of chamomile tea. Like countless times during the night, silent tears began running down my cheeks. His rejection stung so much worse than I could have imagined. The urge to run from this place, where every detail was infused with him, was overwhelming. I was only now realizing how lonely I had been before him. How much I had longed for the kind of connection I had been denying myself after my mother’s death. How easily and quietly he had made my heart his home. For the first time in weeks I desperately wished for my phone. To call Finn, Samira, Emerson, my dad. To catch up with all the other people I had pushed away over the years. Once I was back in the city, I would do better, would learn to lean on others without the constant fear of losing them. Because even the pain of Steve’s cop-out wasn’t enough to make me regret all the beautiful moments I had spent with him.

When Steve came back inside two hours later, I was mindlessly watching a movie, rubbing my jaw that had once more started hurting from constant clenching. “What are you watching?” he asked quietly. “You’ve Got Mail.” “Missing New York?” I nodded, marveling at how well he could read me. “Wanna join me?” My voice was uneven, breathless. He hesitated for a moment, then gave me a crooked smile. “Sure. Let me wash up and I’ll be right there.”

It became easier again. Little by little we rediscovered our groove, despite the extra distance on the couch, despite his excuses to escape the cabin, despite the constant craving in my chest. Our conversations stayed light, no mention of our impending return to the city. But underneath it all lingered the almost of that one evening. And after three sleepless nights I found myself waking from a deep, satisfying slumber, engulfed in warmth and softness and — his scent. I startled, then locked eyes with Steve above me, his face entirely unreadable. An episode of Sherlock was running on the TV, but definitely not the one I remembered watching, so only God knew how long I had been asleep and how on earth I had managed to burrow into his side like that. Pushing myself up and kicking off the blanket, I stumbled to my feet. “Sorry, I’m so sorry.” Between blushing and fighting a dizzy spell, I could barely press out the words. “Goodnight.” I rushed towards the bathroom, slammed the door shut and took the first breath in a minute. My heart was pounding and still aching from having torn myself from him so rapidly. Only when I was rubbing soap and water over my face did I realize that his arm had been around me. Holding me tightly to his chest.

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind still reeling. I had to talk to him. In the morning I would force him to have the conversation we had been avoiding. This game we were playing was killing me and I could no longer bear the thought of leaving him and our little world behind without at least trying one more time. Suddenly a small shift in my periphery drew my eyes to the door. The sliver of light beneath it was obstructed by two shadows. Feet. My breath caught in my throat. I hadn’t heard any noise from Steve in over an hour, he must have long gone to sleep. Sweat broke out on my forehead as my pulse began to race. Parker was here. He had found me after all. But this time I refused to let panic take over. It would do nothing to save me. Instead I focused on the adrenaline, on the way it sharpened my senses. And the first thing I realized against every instinct was that my bed was the least safe place right now. Soundlessly, I slipped out from under the covers and set my feet on the floor. I glanced around the room, desperate for some sort of weapon. God, why hadn’t I thought this through before? How could I be stupidly unprepared? Then my eyes fell on a heavy brass candlestick on the dresser. Perfect. Straining my ears for any kind of noise I tiptoed across the room. While I was glad Parker was biding his time, the horrifying plans probably running through his brain right now chilled me to the bone. Focus. My hand closed around the cool metal and I jubilated on the inside. If my luck served me well, I might just make it over to the door. And if I could lock it, that should buy me enough time to call out for Steve before Parker could try to force his way in. Silent second after second ticked by while I crept forward, praying the wooden floor boards wouldn’t betray me. Finally my fingers touched the key and with a deep breath I hastily turned it. Thank God. I almost cried from relief. But just as I opened my mouth to shout Steve’s name, a voice rang through the door.

“Julie? Please don’t lock me out, it’s dangerous. Please, I—“ My fingers acted on their own, turning the key back and ripping open the door. And there he stood. Eyes wide, hair ruffled, hands raised. “It’s you,” I choked before the tears overwhelmed me. “Of course it’s me.” Steve’s face fell. “God, did you…? I’m so sorry, did you think I was him? Oh, sweetheart.” My heart didn’t have time to leap at the pet name, too busy being flooded with pure serotonin at the sight of him. Then I sank into his arms, clinging to him through the sobs that racked my body. “It’s alright, I’m here,” he said softly, caressing my hair. “I was so scared.” “I know, I’m terribly sorry. But you did so well, arming yourself and locking the door. And I didn’t hear you during any of that. I’m really proud of you.” I relished his words and closeness for a moment longer. Then anger slammed into me. I pulled back abruptly, stumbling away from him, the candlestick landing on the floor with a harsh clang. “What the fuck were you doing anyway? Why would you just stand outside my door like that, creeping me out?” “I-I don’t— I don’t know,” he stammered. “Of course you know! What were you doing?” I roughly brushed off my tears while staring up at him in defiance. His chest rose and fell rapidly. “I was… trying to talk myself out of something.” “Out of what?” Something in his eyes sent a shiver down my spine. “This.” And then his lips were on mine, almost searing with heat and longing. A moan escaped me when he wrapped his arms around my waist and molded my body to his. Every inch of me was on fire, the adrenaline from earlier still coursing through my veins and heightening every sensation of the kiss. I sighed his name as his lips traveled down my neck and he groaned in response. He lifted me up, my legs immediately locking around his hips. A second later my back hit the wall and the dull pain only intensified the impossible need for him. “God, Julie,” he panted while trailing kisses along my collarbone. “What are you doing to me?” A string of curses left his mouth as I buried my fingers in his hair and ground my center into his. I was ravenous for him in a way I had never been for anyone. All my brain demanded was more, more, more. “Wait.” My stomach dropped. Fuck. He had come to his senses and the pain after this would be even worse than before. His eyes sank into mine. “I don't want to rush. Not this. Not with you.” Fresh tears of relief formed as I pressed my palm to his chest, connecting to the thundering heartbeat beneath his skin. My other hand caressed his neck, then drew a soft line from his brow along his jaw. I brushed another kiss against his lips, incredulous at finally being able to do this. “Me neither.”

Steve carefully let me slide back onto my feet, then took my hand and walked backwards to my bed, never breaking eye contact. The light from the hallway painted his features in a soft glow. He was perfect. A small tug on my fingers and I was cradled against his chest once more, his mouth seeking out mine. My hands found a sliver of warm, smooth skin beneath the hem of his shirt, which drew a soft moan from him. Still a slave to my greedy heart, I slowly pushed the fabric upwards and he lifted his arms for me, so I could cast the shirt aside. I only took a second to marvel at his torso before pressing my lips to the revealed skin. Overwhelmed by all these new sensations, I barely noticed his own hands carefully unbuttoning and removing my pyjama top. “Are you cold?” he whispered as he ran his fingertips over the goosebumps on my arms. I shook my head, then gently pulled him into me, both of us gasping when skin met skin. We stood like that for a long moment. Lost in each other. “Will you lie down for me, darling?” he finally murmured. I obeyed almost in trance, still scared that if we lost contact for even an instant, everything could shatter. Steve kneeled between my legs. His gaze swept over me, growing evermore mesmerized. Then he leaned forward, placed his palms beside my rib cage and kissed me again. Unhurried but deeply. I melted beneath him as his lips and tongue trailed down my neck, then across my chest and stomach. “God, Steve…” My eyes flew open when his mouth left my skin. He was looking up at me, his hands on the hem of my pants. “Yes. Please, yes.” With a soft kiss to my hipbone he disposed of my pyjama bottoms and underwear in one fluid motion. His mouth and fingers traveled up my thighs, closer and closer to my overflowing wetness. When he finally licked through it, I startled myself with a desperate groan. He briefly caught my gaze, a sparkle in his eyes. Then he pushed my legs further apart, moaning as he buried himself between them and driving me crazy with the soft reverberations. I lasted merely a couple of minutes, hands tugging at his strands, sighing mindless words of praise. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered. “Let go.” Right on cue my insides shattered and I floated away on a cloud of pure bliss. Steve slowed his movements, then pulled away to lick his lips clean.

I pushed myself upright and brought his face to mine to kiss off the smug smile. “Happy with yourself?” “Very. But more importantly: Are you?” “I think you know the answer to that, Mr Rogers.” He let me maneuver him onto his back and I took a minute to catch my breath and lose it all over again at the sight of him under me. “You’re gorgeous.” A soft blush dusted his cheeks. “Ditto.” “Thanks, Swayze,” I chuckled. “No, I mean it. You’re incredible, Julie.” With a fluttering pulse I captured his lips once more before pressing urgent words into his neck. “I need you.” “You have me,” he sighed. I reverently ran my hands over his chest, then slowly peeled off his remaining clothes. When my fingers closed around his length, Steve made a strangled noise, his brows furrowed. “You okay?” “God, yes.” The small grin vanished off my face when he suddenly sat up and panted “Condom.” I blinked at him. “Oh, yeah, good thinking.” It felt anything but. I was not special at all. He had packed condoms, like this was a regular occurrence. Like taking a woman to a safe house would inevitably end in sex. Before I could spiral completely, Steve raised his hands to my face. “I didn’t bring them,” he said softly. “Natasha slipped me some the other day. ‘Just in case.’” A relieved laugh escaped me. “Of course she did.” “But I was crazy enough to actually put one in my pocket tonight.” His thumbs drew small circles on my cheeks. “We can still stop if you want to.” I turned my face to breathe a kiss into his palm. “Never.”

A minute later I was safely dragging my wetness across his erection while Steve caressed every bit of me he could reach. The momentary hurt was forgotten and when I brought him to my entrance, he slid into me without a trace of resistance. By the time he bottomed out we were both panting. His hands on my thighs burned into my skin. I gave us a moment to adjust before settling into a lazy rhythm. “You feel so good,” he breathed. “So perfect for me.” One of his fingers traced a line down from my throat to my navel. I leaned back at the slight pressure and moaned deeply at the sensation of the new angle. Heat was swirling around my stomach and chest as I increased the tempo. Everything was too much and yet not enough. Steve seemed to sense this, so deeply in tune with me after the intense few weeks behind us. He let his hand glide down until his thumb reached my clit and began drawing tight circles on it. I gasped, tilting my hips forward. But just when I started tightening around him, Steve placed both hands on my waist and stopped my movements. “No, please,” I whined but he just smiled with an unexpected twinkle in his eyes. “Trust me, it will be even better if you’re patient.” I hovered on the precipice for another second before the sharp edges of frenzy slowly blurred, leaving a sweet, tingling tension. Maybe he was right. I took a deep breath as I traced his cheek with my fingers and his softening gaze tugged at my very core. He pushed himself up, then pulled me into him. I winced as he slid deeper, but his embrace was warm and tight, calming me after that brush with ecstasy. My arms wound around his neck as I pressed a long kiss to his forehead. With our sweat-slicked skin fusing together and his hard length reaching unknown depths inside of me, we felt like a single entity, sustained entirely by heat and closeness. I love you. The words flashed through my mind with such force and conviction, I feared I had spoken them aloud. But my lips were still molded to Steve’s hairline. Relieved, I drew back slightly to find his mouth with mine and pour everything I did not dare confess into the kiss. My heart ached at almost feeling it in his response, the yearning, the need to hold him like this forever that rippled across my whole body. Could this be real? Could this ever exist outside these walls?

All worries paled when his tongue traced a path along my jawline to my pulse point where he began sucking softly. I took a shuddering breath as the fire inside me flared up. “Julie,” he whispered. My voice was no longer my own, so I guided his face to my chest and once more started to rock into him. Within moments I was on the brink again. Steve’s mouth was hot and eager while his hands guided the rolling of my hips, taking us both to new heights. “Fuck, Steve, don’t stop,” I rasped and his approving hum vibrated through the nipple he had latched onto. Everything about this was just right, the friction, the pressure, the angle — and suddenly I was screaming. White flashes overtook my vision and I shook so violently Steve pulled me even closer to steady me. He was panting almost as hard as me, visibly straining under the effort of holding back his own climax. Then he flipped us over to push my back into the mattress. I whimpered at the overstimulation but couldn’t help admiring the incredible sight of him above me. His golden skin glistened as his muscles worked tirelessly for every thrust. One of his hands found mine and they locked together tightly, a connection that almost felt deeper than the one stoking flames inside my belly. The pleasure curling down my spine was laced with a strange sense of belonging and I only hoped he was too lost in his own lust to notice the tears trickling down my temples. I love you so much. My heart tightened once again with the intense realization. “Come for me, darling” I said instead. “Please.” He groaned and redoubled his efforts, once more triggering my orgasm that hadn’t fully subsided. We cried out in unison as he finally let himself go. “Julie,” he croaked. His arms were shaking, barely holding him up, and I wondered how much of it was physical exhaustion and how much might be emotion similar to the one overwhelming my own heart. The shock and relief of having given into something at last. Given something unexpected a chance. Whatever it was, I didn't want him this far away anymore. The few inches between us were still too much, my skin prickling with the urge to pull him close again. So I did. And when I wrapped my arms around his shoulder blades, he melted into me with a deep sigh. As if, at least for a moment, he was too weary to fight anymore. He became perfectly pliable under my hands as they ran up and down his smooth back, his face fitted into the crook of my neck. The sensation of everything Steve crashed over me so rapidly that I had to press my lips into his temple to keep them from betraying me. I couldn't tell him. Not yet, not now. He had wanted me, yes. And he still lingered, seemingly content in losing his control and laser-focus for a little while. But that didn't mean any of this would last past our stay at the cabin. Even past that night.

I had hoped, however, that we could remain in our perfect bubble until dawn at least. Had still found unconditional affection in his eyes as I had led him into the shower. But even while his fingers gently rubbed soap into my skin, I could feel him slipping away from me, drawing further into his own little safe house with every passing second. And I had no idea how to pull him back. He stood by my bed when I settled under the blanket, his eyes once more unreadable. “Go to sleep, I'm just gonna get some water.” “Hurry back,” I yawned. He nodded once, the smallest of smiles on his lips. I sank into the sheets, letting his scent engulf me as sleep pulled me under.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

MASTERLIST

Tag List: @multifanworld @peguem-o-pombo-agora @cvanstagram @yslvtre @wandasrogers @littleredone88 @before-we-get-started @sophham @missaprilt23 @chrissusmissus @dvmb-whxre @daddydraco0 @quicksilversthings @thechoosenonecreator @rosellia-hudsons @lokirogersgirl @nekoannie-chan @readawaythereality2 @yal1d @hyperfixationhovel

#steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fluff #soft steve rogers #broadway #musical theatre #musical theater

6 notes · View notes