#/ Troubled and hurt / --- YOUNGER YEARS VERSE ---

[giorno-plays-piano]

Ars Amatoria

Ancient Rome AU

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, chase, period-typical violence, death of minor characters, Satoru is the Emperor's brother.

Words: 3.1k

Summary: By the end of the second month, you could no longer leave the house without numerous servants circling around you. He is everywhere, whether it is a market or an arena, a house of your father's friend or a city street. If you stay alone, he always comes to talk to you even if for a minute. When you are surrounded by servants and family, he will find a way to attract your attention simply to wave to you from afar. Nothing can keep him away.

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He is right behind you.

Nothing betrays his presence but his erratic breathing as he makes a step closer, leaning in to get a whiff of your hair while you freeze like a statue. The sick bastard somehow always catches you alone as if he knows in advance when you give a command to the maids to fetch something. He is always there, a shadow behind a curtain. He has been following you for months, and there is nothing you can do to stop him.

"Greetings, my lady," he snickers, thrilled from the proximity. "I've missed you."

Your hands get cold, but you forbid yourself to tremble. Satoru Gojo is a predator through and through, and showing fear in front of him is akin letting him sink his teeth into you.

"This is very improper, my lord. There will be talks."

As if he ever cared about it. Being a younger brother of the Emperor has its benefits: Satoru Gojo can do anything he wants and will not get punished for any offense except for treason. Nevertheless, you hate to admit, he is not a spoiled and pampered boy he pretends to be. With years spent on a conquest of neighboring lands to expand the Empire's territory, he is well-versed in the arts of war and politics. Truly, despite his odd character, he is an honorable member of the Imperial family, and the Senate speaks well of him.

If only not for his inexplicable obsession with a woman he hardly knows.

You've met him at the Saturnalia, on the second day of the festivities in the house of one of the senators. Your father, albeit not a politician, knows his trade well, and it earned him enough respect and support to be invited. His only surviving child, you were brought along to enjoy the guising among the other sons and daughters. You did not expect any disturbance: soft-spoken and well-educated, you knew how to enjoy the carnival without inviting trouble. Unfortunately for you, the trouble found you in the face of a masked suitor who spent the whole evening beside you.

He was so charming that night. Holding your hand, he recited poetry and spoke of legends he learned in the faraway lands, enjoying your full attention. As you two drank wine and ate fruits on the terrace in the middle of the night, he pointed at the stars at the sky and told you many, many stories about each of them. At one point, you suggested he was making them up to feed your curiosity, but it only flattered you. It seemed the stranger was enamored by you, too.

By early morning, when drunk and sleepy guests were finally leaving the house, you let your suitor drop a kiss to your hand and gave him a little fibula with your father's insignia on it. While it wasn't very wise to search encounter with masked strangers outside of Saturnalia, you couldn't believe a senator would have unworthy guests under his roof. Besides, your suitor seemed to cultured and well-behaved, you thought knowing a little more about him wouldn't hurt. Your maids would never betray your secret, and you were too clever to do anything that could cause unnecessary talks.

When you heard his voice behind you on the third day of the festivities, you thought it was a happy coincidence he'd found you so fast. When you saw the face of a man you knew from the celebration the Emperor held for him after his return from the conquest, you realized what a dangerous game you were playing. Satoru Gojo was no match for a rich merchant's daughter. You were not meant for the life of the court or high politics. When he spoke of courtship, you realized the dangers awaiting you if you were mad enough to accept his offer. That is, if Emperor wouldn't assassinate you before marriage for daring to seduce someone well-above your rank.

You rejected him carefully. Surely, it was not his fault: neither of you knew the identity of the other that night. Satoru seemed strangely hot-headed for an acclaimed general to be offering courtship so early, but your father often spoke of the vigor of young soldiers to marry. Perhaps, when a bit of time passes, he would realize his mistake.

But Satoru Gojo did not accept the rejection. He smiled, flashing his pearly white teeth, and assured you he would come to you later, when you would grow accustomed to the thought of marriage.

This was how the chase began. By the end of the second month, you could no longer leave the house without numerous servants circling around you. He is everywhere, whether it is a market or an arena, a house of your father's friend or a city street. If you stay alone, he always comes to talk to you even if for a minute. When you are surrounded by servants and family, he will find a way to attract your attention simply to wave to you from afar. Nothing can keep him away. In fact, you are left wondering why he did not yet drag you to his house: in his position, he can do anything he wishes, and neither your father nor his senator friends can save you. Perhaps, the predator that he is, he simply enjoys the chase.

When your father summons you at the end of the fifth month, you are certain he will speak of this marriage. You are the only child of his that survived past infancy, and he cares for you greatly. You know he does not want to give you away only to see you perish from an assassin's knife or poisoned wine sent by Satoru Gojo's enemies, but he has no choice. No one can offer you protection.

Yet, your father does not speak of marriage. "Gather your things," he says firmly, a sealed letter in his hands. "Tonight, you will depart to Cilicia. A good friend of mine has offered you refuge until things will settle down here. I will send guards and servants with you. If the general asks, I will pretend you are sick and need to recover before you are seen in public."

For a second, you think you forget how to breathe. Leave? You can leave?

"But what if he still wants to visit?"

The man rubs the bridge of his nose, his eyes tired, and head bowed. "I will say you are contagious and should be kept away."

"But what if he sends me a doctor?"

When your father lifts up his greying head from his heavy wooden desk, you realize he is ready to die for the offense if only it gets you away from the Emperial bastard. You can't go. If your suitor finds out the truth, your house will burn. He will kill everyone for your father's lie.

"You will go to Cilicia even if I have to bind you by the hands and feet," your father says with such determination you know he will stay true to his word despite any pleas. You were blind to the depth of his love for you, his only child, and it brings you to tears.

When you leave, you have but a couple of maids to keep you company, all of them frightened but obedient to your father's will. For hours, you do not speak, staring into the darkness as the cart is being dragged further and further away from the capital until you no longer hear anything but the sound of hooves. You fear the uncertainty, but Satoru Gojo and the danger surrounding him scares you more. The way his eyes always seem searching for you in a crowd, his normally pale cheeks a shade of bright pink the second his gaze lands on you; the way he touches you tenderly, trembling from excitement when his hand reaches for your hair, hidden beneath the veil... There is something very disturbing about him, and you fear the future where you are his wife and his has power over you. Would he truly love you as he promised on the third day of Saturnalia? Was the man reciting poems to you like an actor on the stage of a theater truly Satoru Gojo? Or was it all a pretense to capture your attention, a predator's instinct to lure its prey? He plagues your thoughts long after you left your home.

By the time you reach the next big city, it's been days, and you crave a hot bath and a proper meal before going to sleep in a real bed: the tiny villages you crossed could offer little comfort even for big money, and everyone surrounding you is equally exhausted from long travel. You need a little rest before continuing further. Surely, one or two days won't hurt? You need to exchange the horses, anyway, and the servants and guards require rest as much as you.

While you avoid all public spaces, you cannot resist balnea that is conveniently close to your inn. You smell worse than a cattle. Far from home and surrounded by your people, you are somewhat pacified by the thought of Satoru being far away: you do not think he could have already found you. Surely, despite his status, he is only a man. Enjoying your time at the public bathes, you forget your worries for a minute, and your maids are grateful for a little respite.

When you return to your quarters, the inn is strangely quiet. You do not see it at first, chatting with the girls, all of you finally clean and proper, your skin shining in the sunlight. By the time you reach the doors, you see the blood leaking on the floor from behind them. The maids, untrained in the matters of murder, scream as you stare at the pool of crimson liquid, your body numb. Before you know it, you run.

Who is it? Who would hunt you down to kill? Satoru might be deranged, but he'd rather catch you to have you for himself instead of murdering you for defiance. It must be someone else. Is it the Emperor? Is he finally aware his younger brother is publicly humiliating himself, pleading for the hand of a woman who is below him? Is it someone else?

Tears are spilling down your cheeks as you choke on air, running the streets like a mad woman, your maids and servants abandoned somewhere behind along with everything your father gave you for protection. There is nothing you can do, alone and defenseless in a strange city. You are going to die. Oh gods, you are going to die today.

Turning away to see if anyone chases you, you suddenly crush into someone, the wind knocked out of you from such forceful encounter. You would hit the ground if the stranger did not pull you up by the hands. Disoriented, you turned your head to him, tears clouding your vision. Was he the killer? The assassin sent by the Emperor? Was he going to stab you with a knife or cut your head off and bring to his master as proof?

Instead, you hear Satoru Gojo's troubled voice, "Are you injured?"

Before you blink away the tears, he already drags you away from the street to a tiny back alley, wrapping you in his thick wool cloak to hide you from prying eyes. He shushes you, his warm hand on your head as he nudges your face into his chest, asking you to keep quiet, and you stay still, the heat of his body almost burning your skin. Another minute pass, and you hear the shouts of those who were chasing you before they fade away as men continue on, convinced you are still running ahead of them. Every single hair on your body stands on end. Someone truly sent assassins after you.

"Please, help," you plead, ready to sink to your knees and kiss Satoru's feet for a chance to get to safety. "P-please! I'll do anything you ask, just get me out of here!"

His clear blue eyes shine in the darkness of the alley when he smiles at you, his head held high as he promises proudly, "Of course, love. Stay close."

Never in those months you've known him you could imagine asking him for help. His proximity meant nothing but trouble even if he was kind to you, sending you gifts or reading poems, because danger always follows people of his statue wherever they go. Now, though, he is your only chance of leaving the city safely, and you aren't going to waste it.

You cling to him like a child to their mother, following him from an alley to an alley as he eyes the streets, his other hand on the handle of his sword, ready to draw it the second he sees a threat to you. While you never truly thought of him as a hero, used to seeing him in a rather unbecoming of a man state, Satoru Gojo is not only a good soldier: he is the best Imperial Legion can offer. Scanning the crowd, he quickly moves from one place to another without drawing attention, and you barely register as you end up next to his soldiers, all of them armed.

You fail to register your two maids among them, but they quickly remind you of themselves with their shouts, crying as they run to you. Luckily, they are unharmed, you think as you sob, too.

"We need to get moving," Satoru proclaims, saddling his steed and extending his hand to you. "Quick, come."

Needles to say, you are too scared to argue, and you mount the steed with your savior sitting just behind you. Strangely, instead of usual dread, you feel safe with him. He is here to protect you.

Your maids ride with the soldiers as you make way outside of the city, not stopping for what seems like hours to you. Not once you see your pursuers, but, perhaps, it simply fails your attention: all the soldiers Satoru brought are on guard, and you can see the unease on their faces. Indeed, you are simply lucky to get away on time.

By the time you finally stop, your thighs and back ache, and your mouth is dry as if you spent the day in a desert. You lost your new woolen palla somewhere in the city, and your long stola is torn and surely caked with dirt. Oh, your poor father would have a stroke if he could see you now.

"I'm sorry for the uncomfortable journey," your suitor smiles at you, helping you get off the horse as you moan from pain. He then wraps his spare cloak around your shoulders and puts cloth on the fallen tree for you to sit on. "The cart would slow us down, and we couldn't afford losing more time."

You ask, agitated, "Are we safe now?"

Sadly, he shakes his head. "Not until we're back in the capital. I will keep you from harm, but the assassins sent after you are not some street rats. We need to get home."

You have no tears left after today's chase, and all you do is hide your face in your palms, moaning in exhaustion. What have you done to warrant this savagery? What crime have you committed?

"Why do they want my head?" You exhale, looking up to the man in front of you, and his expression falls. Even he feels sorry for you

Landing next to you, he rubs his shoulder, seemingly tired from this race as much as you are. "You are my chosen one. They want to hurt me."

Blood rushes to your head when you hear him admit it. It is his fault. You are being hunted for the pleasure of his enemies. All the time spent avoiding and rejecting him, all these efforts to escape to Cilicia... it all is for nothing. You are already a target despite refusing marriage.

Seeing the change in your expression, Satoru is quick to grab your hands in his and speak again. "I am at fault. I should have stopped you from leaving. I have been guarding you everywhere you go since the time we met, but I cannot give you the same protection elsewhere. My enemies have been watching you since Saturnalia."

Horrified, you stare at his handsome face, his pale cheeks and the tip of his nose red from sunburn. From Saturnalia? You have been a target for so long? How did you survive for months without even realizing you were being hunted? How could your father not know someone was watching your house? Your guards? Your servants?

Satoru's rough, callous hands squeeze yours tenderly as you sob again, angry at him but still grateful for your escape. You were doomed from the start, weren't you? Nothing you could do would change anything. All of this has been for nothing, even your poor father's attempt to hide you in a faraway province. You would always end up here, with Satoru, or simply dead somewhere on the streets.

"I tried to tell you, but you did not want to listen to me," he whispers gently as he embraces you, his hands wrapped around your back as he shifts you to sit in his lap. "Please, do not weep, love. I will deliver you back to safety."

"What s-safety?" You hiccup, disillusioned with all your attempts to separate from him. "So they would watch the house of my father and strike us later?"

When the man lands a soft kiss to your forehead, you sniff, palms pressed to his chest. It's all his fault. Even if he was not stalking you for his own pleasure all this time, it's still all his fault for you ending up like this, for the death of your people.

"No, no," he reassures you quickly. "We will get married, and you will live in my house. No one can get through the gates unless I personally give them permission. If you so wish, you will not see a single soul in your chambers for months."

Sounds like a dream, you think, tired and hungry and upset. Not having to worry about your life taken in your sleep is now a luxury you cannot afford.

"You promise?" You murmur into his ear, curling against him, abandoning all modesty for why would you be modest with a man you will marry upon entering the capital?

"Promise," he whispers in response, his cheeks sickly pink again as he delivers a kiss to the top of your head.

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Tags: @shybluebirdninja

[stargirlrchive]

ocean eyes: chapter four ✩ jake sully

masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ocean eyes masterlist

chapter four in collaboration with @tarrynightss <3

summary: widow!jake sully x female!reader, 10 year age-gap. jake is lowkey sunshine <3 reader is grumpy! arranged marriage/marriage of convenience, smut, p in v, oral - fem receiving + wc - 5,646

comments: part four lovers, holy shit this is my favorite chapter, oh my god! i just want to give the biggest thanks to liz @tarrynightss <3 my pookie woookie ! she literally made this chapter what it is! <3 and if you do not follow her already, do it RIGHT NOW! she is so talented and amazing and RAHHH i love her !!!! she wrote the smut and let me just say, delicious, amazing, spectacular! we were so in sync with this and i am so proud of this chapter <3 i hope you all love her just as much as we do! okay bye, love you!!!!

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Your weeks consisted of avoiding Ronal and Tonowari, training Jake for hours, and then slipping away to your favorite cove for the rest of the night. You had even begun to join Jake’s family on a few dinners, wanting to avoid your sister as best you could. But it had only been a few times, still feeling awkward around his children, and your distaste for the situation had not simmered.

You had even begun to gather your own fruits and scout your own fish, just to avoid being in your home. It had been weeks but Ronal’s words were still seared into your skin, selfish, selfish, selfish.

If only she knew how hard it had been for you once she left. Your mother always said she did not have favorites, although everyone knew that was not true. It had always been Ronal. In your mother’s eyes your sister held the moon, she was born to lead the people. And she was right, your sister was fierce, strong willed and bound by duty.

As a child you were the same, though you had a knack for trouble, something that did not sit well with her.

It had been a few years since Ronal had left, mated with Tonowari and you slipped away from her priorities. She was barely able to find time for you, which hurt more so than your mother not having time for you. You were not used to it.

So you decided being invisible would work best for you, putting in everything you had into becoming a warrior for the clan.

Younger than most, but twice as dedicated. You took every free moment you had to train, sharpen your skill. But still, the attention from your sister never came. She only ever really acknowledged your efforts until the day of your celebration. You were the smallest of the class, and in Ronal’s eyes it was silly. How even at the age of thirteen you were so sure of yourself.

But Ronal disappeared again, at least that was how you saw it. For those two years between completing your Iknimaya and your Mother’s death you have very little memories with your sister.

What you do remember is the feeling of accomplishing something new, and looking around only to find you were completely alone.

That feeling was embedded into every crevice of your body, similar to the one you felt at the age of eighteen. Foolish and naive, thinking you were in love. Expecting that by sharing intimate moments with one of the Na’vi warriors would keep him bound to you.

That was why you refused to share your life with anyone else. You had been alone for so long, why start now?

You were ripped away from your thoughts as a grunt of frustration left Jake’s mouth. Your ears twitched at the sound, snapping your head to look at him. “Stupid fish.”

Your lips twitched at his frustration, trying not to laugh. “Position yourself, want to see if you are doing it correctly.”

“Why can I not just use a bow? I am well versed with that weapon.”

Your eyes rolled at him, “The current is too rough, it will snap your arrow in half. Now learn to use the spear.”

Jake grunted, his muscles achy and stiff as he lifted his arms again. Your hand slapped on the underside of his arm, the sting furthering his irritation. “Don’t do that.”

“You are weak!”

His heated gaze flickered to your face, the intensity of it halting a bit as he noticed the glossy look in your eyes, “You enjoy pushing my buttons.”

Your eyes rolled, “Believe it or not, I do not enjoy anything when it comes to you.”

He scoffed, dropping his arm down and it caused you to hiss at him, “Up! We are not done.”

“Do you know how to shoot an arrow?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Answer my question.”

Your face scrunched up in annoyance, “Get a catch and then I will answer you.”

Out of pure annoyance, Jake did what you asked. Drawing his hand back and focusing his gaze in the water, when he saw a fish, a large one too, his spear sunk in, missing the catch.

You laughed at him, shaking your head as you pulled the weapon from his hands, “Skxawng.”

“Clearly I am not going to catch anything today, so answer my question. Do you know how to shoot an arrow?”

Your lips pursed as you walked away from him, you purposely threw your hair behind your shoulder and splashing Jake’s face in the process. “I have no need to use a bow, so no. I do not know how to use one.”

Jake felt his tail thump in the water, excitement bubbling in his chest, “Let me teach you then.”

You scoffed, shaking your head as you continued to walk towards the beach, “There is nothing I have to learn from you.”

Another jab, one of the few that actually bothered Jake. Those had become more frequent, and the fine line between the excitement he had and the irritation they caused were beginning to blur together. His fingers wrapped around your forearm, the unexpected movement caused your body to jolt roughly against his. You gasped quietly, “Let go of me!”

“Are you scared you’ll fail?”

Your motions stilled, no longer pulling away from him but trying to fight the need to whack him with your tail, “No-I just do not wish to spend any more time with you than absolutely necessary.”

Jake’s fingers let go of you, he knew just how to push your buttons too. “Fine. Truth be told, I know you’d fail. Better not waste our time.”

Your heart was hammering in your chest, his words bothering you beyond belief, “Fine then. Teach me.”

Jake had moved from you, circling in front of you, a look of utter satisfaction on his features and you wanted to stomp down on his foot, “Don’t think I will. Like you said, why waste more time than necessary with each other.”

He was walking away from you, the stupid look still on his face. The Toruk Makto, doubting in your skill stung more than you’d care to admit, your finger wrapped around his wrist, halting his movement, “No-I want to learn.”

You actually wanted to prove him wrong, but who cared. You caved, and that was all Jake cared about. “Follow me then.”

He turned away, trying to hide the satisfaction that began to consume his chest but his tail betrayed him, swaying lazily in the water as he walked out. You grunted quietly, following behind him as he made his way towards his marui. You were growing impatient with how leisurely his actions were, “I do not have all day.”

Jake paused briefly, ears twitching in irritation as he noticed the bite in your voice. His fingers balled into a tight fist before he took a deep breath, quickening his steps despite not wanting you to know that you did get under his skin in a way he couldn't explain. But along with that annoyingly irritating way your voice always seemed to disgruntle him, he enjoyed it all the same. Because he knew he got under your skin as well, you were just unwilling to admit it. Unwilling to bite at the hook he sent you, but it would happen, he was sure of it.

He picked up his bow and arrow, your foot tapping as your arms crossed over your chest was making Jake anxious. He was trying to still the pounding of his chest, feeling unnerved by the way you seemed to find fault in everything he did.

Nerves bubbling so much so his fingers fumbled and the arrows fell from his fingers, “Eywa, you want to teach me how to shoot a bow and arrow and you’re fumbling like a child.”

Another jab that irritated deep in his soul, that thin line completely blending together and now he was just annoyed with you. Annoyed with every sly comment that fell from your mouth. He huffed in anger, roughly yanking the arrows back into his arms. And you noticed the change in his demeanor, mouth flattening into a straight line as his angry gaze fixated on you.

Nerves bubbled in your chest, along with an excitement that you had not felt in a long time, it settled in your lower stomach. Your tail swished behind you gently, raising your brows in challenge, practically asking him to bite back. He just shook his head, sighing quietly as he moved past you, walking towards the forest. You were following behind him closely, your steps quickening and you just felt his frustration with you.

You were hoping he’d finally snap, run to Ronal and Tonowari and beg to pick someone else for him. The thought caused a bitter taste in your mouth, but you would never admit that. You would never willingly open your heart to someone else, especially someone who had already loved someone. Loved them enough to spend years with, have children with, you were not able to do it.

When did things in your life become so difficult? So complicated to the point where all you wish for was to be left alone? You weren’t sure, but it was lonely. And although uncommon within your people, you did find Na’vi to quelch the bitterness that had consumed your heart.

You were so deep in thought you had not noticed Jake stopped walking, stumbling roughly into him. Your face squished against his back, your nose throbbing from the pain. You hissed out, instantly pushing yourself off of him as your face warmed up in both embarrassment and pain. Jake snickered quietly, “You need to pay attention.”

“You are so infuriating!”

Jake laughed, ears pinning back in amusement as he looked over his shoulder to look at you. Smiling harder as he saw your face pinched up in anger. He fully turned to you, thrusting the bow and arrows into your hand, your eyes narrowed in on him in annoyance.

He did not spare you a second glance, walking deeper into the forest until he was a few trees away from you. He removed the knife from its sheath, carving deeply into the tree a large ‘X’. He pointed to it before telling you, “This will be your target.”

“Really? I could not tell.”

Jake’s features glossed over once more with anger, his ears pinned back roughly against his head as he made quick steps to get back to you. “Let’s see it then.”

“I do not know the first thing about shooting an arrow, how do you expect me to know how to hold it properly?”

Jake roughly pulled on you, a quiet yelp fell from your mouth as your back crashed against his chest. His whole body caging yours in as he placed your arms in the position you needed to be, “Well, you act as if you know all. Excuse me for the confusion.”

You were unable to say anything more, the words caught in your throat as the heat from his body consumed yours. His fingers were anything but gentle, covering yours as he pulled the string back. He let it go quickly, your hands still in his and it hit the target dead center.

A small laugh of excitement left your mouth, Jake finally stepped away from you. You were too distracted to notice the way he was watching you. “Now position yourself.”

And you did, trying to copy his motions but it was clear you were off, even in the way you were standing there was an ache between your shoulders that had not been there. Jake’s hand lightly swatted your arm, just as you had earlier, moving to push down on your stomach and your stance was thrown off. Your feet wobbled as your body jolted. “Your strength needs to come from here.”

He pushed on your upper abdomen again, “You should not move if I push.”

Your eyes rolled back, “I just did not expect it.”

Jake threw you a snarky smile, “If you say so.”

You huffed out a breath, pulling your fingers back again. Jake found less things to adjust this time and he could see you were a quick learner. “Straighten your back.”

You listened, shoulders squaring out and the ache eased from between them. “Let go.”

Your arrow went flying but missed the target by a long shot. Jake whistled, “You were a bit off.”

“You dont say.”

Jake admired how you instantly grabbed another arrow, your fingers placing themselves correctly as you pulled the arrow back, “Again.”

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Hours had trickled by and it was starting to get dark, your fingers were raw from the string of the bow, muscles aching from the constant tug. Even after going at this for so long, you had nothing to show for it. Your arrows continuously missed, and it was only getting worse the weaker your limbs became. “It is not that difficult.”

Jake’s voice only spiked your frustrations, snapping the small chord that was already wearing thin from your exhaustion. You turned to him and pushed the bow straight into his chest, “Maybe you are just a poor teacher.”

His tail flicked in irritation and he turned around to pick up the arrows that had landed in the grass below your target.

“Maybe you are just a poor student, hm? My seven-year-old listens better than you.”

An angered hiss made your lips curl up into a snarl. “That’s because only a child would listen to you! You are infuriating!”

Ronal nagging at you and pointing out your flaws was more than enough, Jake did not have to join in as well.

A dry chuckle left his mouth as he pulled the last two arrows out of the bark of the tree, shooting a skeptical glance over at you. “From the way you’re acting, I would say you fall under that category.”

Your broad tail almost thumped against the ground in frustration, but you stopped it just in time, knowing it would only strengthen his point. You inched closer to him so you could spit your venom more clearly.

“If we were mated I would want to pluck your eyes out for the rest of my life,” you snarled at him, adding an annoyed ‘pak’ when the stupid man merely grinned.

Jake strode over to you with bow and arrows in his hands, looking more smug than offended at your words. His eyes traveled shamelessly over your form, delighting in the way your cheeks tinged a darker blue and your eyes narrowed at him. There was so much fire in you, luring him in to feel if your skin would burn under his touch.

“You would be so lucky,” he practically purred.

Your jaw almost dropped at his shameless flirting, far more forward than the men of your clan. As he smirked down at you he truly did look like a demon, you thought, and your ears folded back slightly as you felt an old fire ignite within you.

You refused to give in to it. “Why? So I can have a mate who cannot hunt fish? Who can’t ride a Tsurak?” You circled around him as your gaze blatantly judged every part of him. Your tail swatted against his legs, almost making him lose his balance. “There is nothing you have to offer me, JakeSully. I could find a man half your age with more skills.”

You seemed to have mastered how to provoke him, that old frustration bubbling back up in his chest and coming out in a light hiss. Your pupils narrowed at his challenge, stopping in front of him. For a moment everything was quiet, your gazes staying connected and tails swaying in anticipation.

Slowly, you moved your hand forward, not even blinking as you slapped the arrows and bow out of his hands. They fell down onto the grass below in soft thumps, Jake’s eyes flicking down to them before coming back up to stare straight at you. He breathed in heavily through his nose, his brow creasing into a scowl.

You seemed pleased with yourself, the corners of your mouth quirking up as you cocked your head. No words had to be used, your message loud and clear. What are you going to do about it?

An odd yet intoxicating tension rose and rose as your gazes remained locked, sharp eyes watching one another. Perhaps he should just walk away, turn around and have his children pack their bags once again. He shouldn’t want to mate with such a frustrating, stubborn woman like you, but Eywa knows he did.

Suddenly, Jake’s hand was at the back of your neck, pulling you closer till he pressed his lips against yours. His grip on you was loose, the kiss testing the waters to see if you would push him away. An agonizing heartbeat passed before you gasped softly, one hand coming up to rest against his chest. As soon as he felt you accept him he kissed you more passionately, hungry to deepen the little taste of you that he’d gotten.

So many thoughts crossed your mind that you could barely pick one to focus on. It had been years since you had been with a man, having sworn to not give yourself so intimately to someone again, yet you could not find it in yourself to push Jake away. He was a skxawng, with his smug smiles and overconfidence, and a touch that set you ablaze. You shivered as his lips parted yours, his tongue slipping past them.

As he deepened the kiss his hands moved to your waist, stroking over your naked skin. As your tongues stroked together you knew where this would lead, and a weight pressed down in your heart as you also knew where it would end. When he had found his pleasure, Jake would go, leaving you alone in the forest to clean off your shame.

You knew this would happen, yet the firm press of his calloused hands promised something else. Security.

It made you sad, angry even. Not your parents nor sister had been able to promise you that, and yet here was the former Olo'eyktan spinning a tale with his touches. With a snarl, you bit at his bottom lip and Jake backed away slightly in shock. As he touched his lip, he could feel a familiar wet warmth there, his fingers stained red when he retracted them. He wasn’t bleeding that bad, but it was enough to shock him, the man’s ears folding back in alert.

He had no time to consider if you were angry with his advances, your mouth clashing to his once again. You practically threw yourself at him, greedy hands rubbing over his muscled chest as you nipped at his injured lip once again. He groaned into your mouth. Everything just had to go the hard way with you.

Every stroke of your fingers against his body sent pleasant chills down yours. Every look that you had gotten of him had already made it clear that he was an attractive man, one that many would be pleased to have by their side, but feeling him was a whole different story. You almost moaned into the kiss as your fingers delved lower, tracing where his muscles dipped into a delicious V as you neared his loincloth. You cupped him boldly, instantly feeling the strong press of his hard cock against the fabric.

You smirked as you pulled back from his lips, batting your lashes at him. “My…”

Jake assumed that you were going to praise his size, his chest already swelling with pride.

“I had expected more self-restraint from Toruk Makto.” Your amused tone made it clear that you were mocking him. Your fingers wrapped tighter around his bulge and he bit back a groan. “Perhaps you have lost your touch.”

That statement seemed to ignite a fire in his eyes, hand shooting up to grab hold of your wrist. His brow scrunched up, face so serious and determined that it had your lips parting at the sight. You had never seen him like this before, and you imagined this is what he must’ve looked like when he stood before the clans all those years ago.

“You won’t be saying that after I’m done with you.”

Before your lips could form a word, Jake swept you off your feet, landing you in the grass with a soft ‘oof’. Your wide eyes stared up at him as his large hand took hold of your thighs, spreading you open for him and propping up your legs.

A hiss formed at the back of your throat, head lifting to spit another insult at him before he shamelessly licked over your clothed cunt. Your hiss turned into a pathetic little mewl as his tongue formed wet stripes over your loincloth, pressing the material eagerly into your folds. He groaned as he tasted your wetness even through the material, every swipe of his tongue only revealing more of your sweet taste.

“Talk a big game for someone who’s this wet by just having a man stick his tongue into your mouth,” he groaned against you, his chuckle muffled as he was unwilling to pull away from your heat just yet.

You kicked lightly at his back with your heels, groaning in protest of what Jake was saying (though you only understood about half of it). It was foolish to deny it, the evidence staining your loincloth more and more by the second.

A disappointed whine left your mouth when he pulled back, his hands fumbling to untie your loincloth. You watched in impatience as he seemed to not understand how to get it off, cursing under his breath.

You rolled your eyes and pushed away his hands to do it yourself. “Bah! Can’t do anything.”

Jake flung the wet piece of clothing out of sight as soon as you had it off, face delving back in between your legs. It seems that though he wasn’t going to respond to your words with ones of his own, he wasn’t letting it slide either. His tongue only lapped over your wet cunt once to part your folds, his attentions instantly turning to your clit afterward. Your fingers dug into the grass below you as he sucked at your clit, pleasure rippling through your body like a wave. You had forgotten just how pleasing another’s touch could be.

Jake was clearly experienced, alternating in sucking at the sensitive bud and then flicking the tip of his tongue over it in hard strokes. His eyes peered up at you as you moaned, his cock now painfully straining against his loincloth. You looked like a goddess. Head thrown back in ecstasy, hair splayed out over the forest floor and your body flushed and writhing at every pleasurable movement of his tongue. Your sister might be Tsahík, but Jake felt far closer to Eywa when he was near you.

Your hands flew to the back of his head as you felt yourself getting close to cumming, fingers gripping tightly at his hair. When he groaned it sent more pleasant tingles through your core and you couldn’t help but press his face even tighter against you. He didn’t mind in the slightest, tongue only working against your clit with renewed vigor.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you felt your body tensing up, finally tipping over that sweet edge. Your mouth stayed open in a silent scream, little sounds of pleasure leaving you as Jake continued his movements as you orgasmed. You hadn’t come this hard for Eywa knows how long and the moment almost makes you sigh in relief, feeling every muscle in your body tensing and then relaxing, a peaceful ecstasy washing over you.

Jake finally pulled back, lidded gaze watching you intensely. A small, relieved smile pulled at your lips as you panted, eyes tightly shut. You looked so relaxed, your face usually tense and scrunched up whenever he saw you.

“Damn, that must’ve truly been good, huh?I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.”

He just couldn’t help himself, feeling more than pleased with his own performance. You huffed and your hands swatted at his head. For a moment he thought he had won the upper hand, but after a second to recover you sprung up. You pounced on him like a Viperwolf and it quickly became his turn to have his back pressed into the grass.

Your eyes were glossed over with desire as you tore at his loincloth, some strings definitely ripping in the process as you roughly took it off of him. Jake sat up with wide eyes, breath hitching in his throat as you straddled him. This close he could see every little speck of color in your eyes, every tiny luminescent dot or stripe on your face. You were beautiful, but he had little more than a second to admire you as you took hold of his hard cock and positioned yourself over it.

You didn’t want to look down, sure that if you did you would lose your confidence. He felt big in your hand, and you tried your best not to nervously swallow when the thick head nudged against your entrance. No, he would not see your nerves, would not get to know how long it had truly been for you and mock you for it. Little did you know that the man beneath you was perhaps even more nervous, Jake not having sought out another after his late mate’s death.

A stifled grunt sounded from you as you sank down onto his cock, already feeling more than full enough after the first few inches. Your hands braced on his shoulders, nails digging into his skin to an almost painful extent. Good, he thought, Jake bracing himself against cumming as soon as your tight heat engulfed him.

You were not a quitter, biting at the inside of your cheeks as you continued slowly impaling yourself on his length till your ass was snuggly rested against his balls. A violent shiver rocked your body as you sat still like that, filled so well by him that you could feel your clit start to throb all over again.

After taking a shuddering breath, you braced yourself and started riding him, his cock easily sliding in and out of your wet cunt. Every stroke of his length against your insides had moans falling from both of you, Jake’s hands finding your hips to softly guide your movements. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, the need to scream his name growing stronger by the second. He felt so good inside you, like you were made for one another.

You bite at your bottom lip, no, you can’t think that way.

Your ears perk up as Jake groans loudly, face scrunched up in pleasure.

“Not so mighty now, are you, Toruk Makto?” you cooed at him, snickering in between your pants.

His lips peeled back to reveal his teeth as a light snarl graced his face. “Don’t get too cocky now, kid, you still have much to learn.”

You cocked your head. “Really?” You watched his eyes roll back as you rolled your hips in a way that made him reach deep inside you, biting back your own moan. “Seems like I’m the one who’s teaching you a thing or two here.”

Jake panted harshly, grip on your hips increasing till it was almost bruising. “Oh, we’ll see.”

You squealed as he flipped the position and pinned you down underneath him. He pulled your legs up to rest them over his shoulders, a hint of a grin pulling at his lips before he thrust his cock back into you. You screamed, your walls clenching around him as he started to fuck into you hard and fast. His pace was relentless, the muscles in his arms and chest rippling underneath his skin at the strain.

He laughed as he watched your face warp in pleasure, your hands trying wildly to find something to grab onto. “What? Can’t keep up?”

You couldn’t seem to manage to properly respond to him, eyes desperate as you cried out his name. He couldn’t resist leaning forward, bending you till your legs were almost pressed to your chest, his lips finding yours once again.

He kissed you passionately, groaning into your mouth as he continued his rapid strokes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this good, his cock twitching inside of your slick cunt at every movement. Jake wouldn’t last long anymore.

Any soul unlucky enough to stray too far into the forest would quickly be able to hear the wet slaps of him fucking into your body, the sounds falling from your mouths everything but silent as well.

He moved away from your lips to bury his head into the crook of your shoulder, teeth nipping at the skin there. He felt so tempted to mark you, to place a bite on your shoulder that would make sure everyone knew you were his. But he couldn’t, not yet.

Jake purred your name so sweetly into your neck that it almost made your eyes roll back. It was becoming too much, your cunt throbbing around him as his fast pace rushed you towards your second orgasm, familiar tears stinging at your eyes.

His wet tongue came out to lap over your neck and it sent a shiver over your body. You squeezed your eyes tightly shut. Just a bit more.

With a well-aimed roll of his hips, he had you cumming yet again, your toes curling as your hot walls clamped down around his length. You could feel him shudder against you, your hands finding his back and clawing at it wildly. For every jolt of pleasure that shook your body, you scratched past his skin and Jake groaned loudly in response.

He grit his teeth, thrusts stuttering as he tried to hold himself back from instantly following behind you. He just wanted a few more minutes of feeling your tight cunt wrapped around him.

Though the sky was still blue, you swore you saw stars, head thrown back into the grass. All you could do was hold on tight and mumble out your desires as Jake continued to fuck you, his breath hot and heavy against your neck.

You could feel his body tensing and heard his breath hitch right before he came, the man’s face scrunching up in pure ecstasy. He held himself deep inside you, letting you feel exactly how he was filling you up, his cum seeping inside of you.

Jake let out a pleased sigh and pressed a kiss to your temple. Your scent was intoxicating right now, full of desire and laced with his own. This is what he wanted you to smell like for the rest of his days, and he inhaled it eagerly.

He couldn’t pull himself away from you, his pelvis still flush against yours as his fingers sought out your clit. A high-pitched sound of surprise left you as his rough fingertips stroked over the swollen bud. You writhed underneath him, legs shaking as he tried to bring you to orgasm yet again.  

“J-Jake!” you choked out, hands pushing uselessly at his arms.

He was reveling in the way your cunt squeezed and twitched around his length at every stroke of his fingers, the thought of his cum getting taken even deeper inside you this way making him hard all over again. His fingers didn’t stop no matter how much you whined and your body shook, this time ripping a loud scream from you when you came. It felt like being swept away in a tidal wave, yet instead of fighting it you let it take you completely.

You were still letting out little moans at the aftershocks when Jake pulled his cock out of you. He groaned at the sight of some of his seed slipping out of your used cunt, unconsciously licking his lips.

As soon as he shifted his position on top of you, your mind cleared up a bit and your mood dropped. This was the part where he rolled off of you, maybe shot you a thanks, and then left you tainted and alone in the forest. Your throat bobbed at the thought, hands retreating from him to lay them against your own stomach, almost protecting yourself against what was to come.

Jake reached out to touch your face and his fingers gently traced over the intricate patterns of your tattoos. His eyes shone with adoration, a genuine smile pulling at his lips.

“Beautiful.”

Out of all the things the two of you had just shared, this was the hardest part for you to accept. This man who you had belittled and mocked looked at you as if you held the moon in your hands.

His lips met yours again, so tender in his kiss that it almost hurt. This wasn’t out of desire, this was a true display of affection, of appreciation, and you felt yourself start to choke up. Though Jake noticed the shift in your mood, he didn’t comment on it, merely rolling off of you so he could pull you against his chest.

He was warm, firm, his arms tightly wrapped around your form as henuzzled his nose into your hair. You pushed away the tears that continued to threaten to fall. He was not leaving, he was here, and though he did not say it, you knew that would be Jake Sully’s biggest promise to you if you were to mate. He would be there, no matter what.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

🏷️; @mashiromochi @midhito @neteyamforlife @adaiasafira @ambria​ @sillyfreakfanparty​ @fanboyluvr​ @jakescumdump​ @itscheybaby​ @iwanttohitmyself​ @janeety​ @haitanismainhoe @daribakugo @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lemonmoonmochi​ @dazedshoon @amanda-678 @randxmthxughts @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @wekiamo @iwanttogohomeandtakeanap @theroyalbrownbarbie @1ntefly @nyylovestowrite @rianapntn @crazy4books1 @jakesullylongjuicyshlong @kikookii @ducks118 @bucky12345 @elegantkidfansoul @bold-writing @1-800-fandomsdestroyedme @graysonmalik2550 @milequaritchsslut @23victoria @kamcrazy123 @annamarieisbae @k----a27s​ @tojigirl @lynbubble @outspokenmatters​ 

[cipher-zoo]

First off to the birthday anon you own me financial compensation because one gonna be thinking about that forever

And kinda expanding on that maybe when buggy is a bit older its his birthday again and this time they didnt forget and they get a party set up that night. And then buggy doesnt show up. He is gone for hours and they are freaking out. Its well past midnight when buggy shows up scuffed and bruised but okay.

And they are demanding where is was at and why he didnt come to his own birthday party and to that buggy is just dismissively like “oh that was today”

And when the press further about where he was (cuase he wont tell anyone) he is just in general confused he is like “ sorry about the party but like you usually dont care when im usuallyout”

And before his mind can catch up Rayliegh ask “ what do you mean your usually out?”

And the look and buggys face is enough to tell them they once again fucked up and now everyone is trying to remember the last they saw buggy actually on the ship whenever their docked.

Buggy had assumed they knew when he was gone and just never asked either becuase they trusted him or just didnt care, they hadnt left him yet (there had been some close calls). He bother to hear the rest and just heads off to bed

Reggie, my friend! You can't demand financial compensation and then break MY heart in return! What did I do? I'm just the messenger here - well, a very unreliable messenger who adds their own thoughts and takes to other people's messages 🤔 ... but a messenger nonetheless!

All this being said, holy hell, I love this.

I have this Headcanon that, over the years, Buggy turned out to be a far bigger troublemaker than Shanks. At least on one hand, because he had less to lose than Shanks - after all Shanks was the golden boy, and we can't ignore that that must have put a lot of pressure on his shoulders as well - and on the other hand, because Buggy, as we know him, just gets himself into the most miserable situations. [Rayleigh definitely had to have the 'you can't follow strangers, just because they tell you they have treasure in the back of their carriage' conversation with Buggy MULTIPLE times]

Now I'm not just saying this to ramble, but because I think that maybe this is how the situation could have started.

When he was younger, Buggy would every now and again get in trouble for staying away from the ship for too long. I believe in the early days this was by no means on purpose, he was simply set on some goal or another that had him so focused he simply forgot to get back in time (that, or he got in trouble). Which in turn would get him stuck with more chores or maybe being stuck with guard duty for the next island etc.

But over the years, Buggy noticed that he would get in trouble less and less often. And he started to assume that Rayleigh simply realized that he could trust Buggy to stay out longer, since he was getting older and even if he wasn't as strong as Shanks, he could defend himself if necessary.

Only then to realize that the real reason was that nobody even NOTICED that he wasn't there... yeah, that must have hurt.

I don't know if you listen to musicals, but there is this song: "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" from the musical Next to Normal. And I have to say, this whole situation reminds me of that a lot.

Thank you very much for sharing these thoughts with me. Even if it hurts.

[Also, part of me feels like I need to write some happy Roger Pirate head canons, because as I said, I love them so much, and I know I am portraying them in a negative light a lot right now, but that's just one verse of them I could see!]

[shiftingmuse]

Uncertainty Verse; Father MacAvoy

Joseph MacAvoy was very young when he thought to become a priest. His mother, of course, had raised him Catholic in the beginning, and his father gave him the choice of continuing. After the death of his mother, his father found faith in the bottle, and Joseph found him in God. Most of his life he spent without a real ideal home once his father became too ill to help himself. He spent a lot of his youth living with family members, and his one constant was the Lord. 

There were many times when his faith was tested; he had come close to marrying in his days at university. The woman he had been close to left him for someone better suited for her life than a man of God, as well as the idea of desiring people who did not suit the Catholic faith's image, 

It took MacAvoy a few years to be chosen for his studies, and then five years of study in both philosophy and theology. Even before he could work as a deacon in the church before his ordainment.

Father Joseph MacAvoy had been a priest for roughly ten years of his life when his faith began to break down. His father died when he was 35, just five years after he had his first parish. At that point, the priest had a troubling time with his faith. The reality that he was the only child and only son to be able to pass on his family name hit him harder than it should. Being a priest had meant so much to him in his younger days that finally having it all made him feel as if it was all for nothing. 

Joseph clung to his parish at the beginning of his descent; he had created a well-enough support group at his church without anyone realizing the truth. It wasn't until he was shifted to Middleburgh that everything became more of a hindrance. He had taken to drinking when he was alone, questioning God's plan for him and his own identity.

When the tournament happened, he was 42 and five years into his worst habits. He had taken up drinking, even at the desire of other people when it called for it. Most of the town looked down on the priest, considering his actions, but none seemed to try and understand why he was as he was. The priest had awakened in the pub on the worst day of his life, when hell itself came to earth. Only to end the day with blood on his hands and a woman's life hanging in the balance. 

Three years later, when he believed the worst of his days were behind him, A sober man stood before his church in a state of uncertainty. "As you all know, I am three years sober, and this will be my last year here." He began with a solemn tone of voice. "When it is time to take my leave, I may not go with a place to land, and this is darkening words for me to say. Though I will be leaving to work alongside another, I have a confession." Joseph gripped his blazer with an uneasy thought.

"I do not have a long time left on this earth. It would seem I am ill, and it hurts me to inform you all that I am dying. I do not have a great chance of having a successful recovery considering my condition. I must accept the Lord's good grace and my doctor's words about everything. If a transplant can occur, it will more than likely be further off than I would hope for." The members of the church were shocked but also understanding. It was not easy for the man to stand there and let them know he was not long for the world.

"With this confession, I would like to pray, not for my recovery but for all of your understanding and support over the past few years. It has meant a lot to me." 

…and they would pray, and Father MacAvoy would break all over again. 

[charmstwit]

As Emma Roberts would say, 'Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me!' but it's Sunday evening here and I'd like to use this last chance and ask some questions from your list that (I think) haven't been asked yet about my favourite brotherfuckers.

For Sirius: 5, 15, 17

For both of them: 8, 9, 11, 18, 19

I enjoyed this Stay With Me 1k kudos Fest immensely. You're the best authors and you spoil your readers so much. Thank you so much!!

Thank YOU for all of your asks! We had so much fun getting into these characters a bit more, an you had such interesting, thoughtful asks!

Now, for the answers:

5. Sirius would try many, many muggle jobs, and we’ll even see him do some! He loves working with his hands and being active, but he also has a huge heart. Left to his own devices, Sirius would end up running a pet rescue. He’d start with just dogs, but he’d never be able to turn anybody away, so it would quickly grow to horses, goats, pigs, cats, and the odd cow.

15. Walburga made sure that Sirius was well versed in the Hogwarts curriculum before he stepped foot in the school, but he still struggles with potions. They don’t turn out how he wants them to. Regulus helped with quite a few of his potions during their younger years to make sure Walburga and Orion didn’t get any lettersh ome.

17. Sirius’s biggest fear is being abandoned and abandoning the people he loves. Love has been such a risk for him, and he just can’t quite bring himself to believe that it will stick around.

8. Sirius’s favorite food is bangers n mash, a food that is absolutely forbidden in Grimmauld Place. Regulus’s favorite food is cinnamon rolls. There’s no reason for that.

9. When Sirius isn’t on-screen, he’s making out with James. When Regulus isn’t on-screen, he’s making out with Kingsley. If James and Kingsley aren’t available, they’re making out with each other.

11. Sirius and Regulus were both very quiet as children, as a necessity. Regulus was quieter, and often learned from Sirius’s mistakes. Sirius was more likely to defy Walburga, or make a mistake, and get in trouble.

18. Sirius’s nervous habit is yelling. When he gets nervous, he goes on the defensive, ready to be hurt. Regulus just shuts down, withdrawing from the situation. On a less traumatic note, both of them are liable to fidget, although Regulus is better at concealing it than Sirius.

19. Sirius is so good at all of his classes that it’s hard to pick a “best.” However, he would say he is excellent at Runes. He can identify them and translate them very easily. Regulus could ace History of Magic in his sleep. Both boys are wonderful at astronomy.

[evilhasnever]

hmmmmMMMM if you’re still taking prompts I have lots of fondness for Fallow Fields!verse

Thank you so much! This turned into a vague Meng Shi POV (cw: some misgendering of A-Yao from SiSi, but she does love him. A-Yao has two moms.) This is pretty sad, given that it's about a trans kid in a brothel, and it is also... very much 1000 words about periods. No idea what possessed me to write about that. It's not a lot of fun, but no other CWs apply other than the above + Meng Shi's implied health issues.

(and here's a link to Fallow Fields, though you don't need to read it to understand this!)

If all of that is alright with you, proceed under the cut.

Meng Yao was thirteen when the first bleeding came. Later than most, but he was so small he still looked like a child younger than his age. Meng Shi had known it was going to happen sooner or later, and told her kid to come to her immediately when it did, making sure nobody spotted him on the way. 

And so he did - her A-Yao snuck into her room one early morning after spending the night god knows where, his outer robe wrapped around his waist and bunching awkwardly down over his thighs.

“Mama, I am bleeding,” A-Yao confessed, thighs pressed together fitfully and a painful grimace on his little face. “But nobody knows. I made sure of it.” Some blood had gotten on the hem of his sleeves, somehow.

“Come here my heart,” Meng Shi murmured, getting up from the bed even though her bones felt brittle. “Do not worry, we have everything ready for such a thing.” 

A-Yao turned wide, trusting eyes towards her. Such a good child, he wouldn’t say pointless things like that he didn’t want this, or that it hurt. Even though Meng Shi knew both of these things were true. She wished it had waited a few more years, until they were free from this place. But time doesn’t wait for anyone; A-Yao was small and gaunt, but he’d started hunching more lately, preemptively concealing a chest that was barely there, and Meng Shi wouldn’t be able to hide him for much longer.

“It doesn’t change anything, my heart,” she assured, gathering a few things. “Just make sure to wear a catch cloth, like this, and wash your own clothes where nobody can see. Does it hurt a lot?”

“Not a lot,” A-Yao replied, obediently. She didn’t quite believe him, but pinched his cheek nonetheless. It was caked with grime, as it often was. Making sure A-Yao looked every bit like a street rat was the best defense against customers’ wandering eyes.

“Wash up and then lay down for a while, my dear. Mama will take care of everything.”

“I need to practice drills,” A-Yao protested, but he went to the water bucket willingly. 

“You can do that in the afternoon,” Meng Shi shushed him. “You can’t practice when you haven’t slept. A good sleep is a gentleman’s best friend.”

She helped him dress in clean clothes, showed him how to secure a cloth between his legs and not let it slip, then put him to bed with whispered reassurances. She petted his head until he fell into an uneasy slumber, and did not stop even as her joints ached with the repeated gesture. It had been a long night, and it would be an even longer day - she didn’t dare to sleep with her baby so troubled. 

“Shi’er, why are you still awake?” 

SiSi walked into the room with an armful of clothes that needed mending, makeup still on her face and her hair only half-up. She spared an assessing glance for A-Yao taking up the bed, then the bloodied clothes Meng Shi had balled up in a basket. 

“Shit. The aunt came, huh?” she whispered, careful not to wake the child. “You should have sent her away sooner, Shi’er. Now it’s too late.”

Meng Shi shook her head. Even if she’d been able to part from her child, without money and without a family name there was nowhere for A-Yao to go.

“How did the babe take it?” SiSi whispered, drawing Meng Shi towards the other side of the room.

“My A-Yao does not complain,” Meng Shi said proudly, but she couldn’t conceal the grimace that wanted to creep on her features. “But it’s going to be difficult from now on. My health’s been poor as of late, I must pick up the slack.”

SiSi gave her a disapproving but affectionate gaze. “Making it look like the kid has mange is all well and good, but plenty of creeps out there would not care. If the Madame so much as smells the blood on her, she is going to sell her first night before you can even say no,” she said darkly, echoing Meng Shi’s fearful thoughts. “Your rich man needs to come back soon, or Yao’er will lose any chance of ever marrying well.”

“A-Yao doesn’t need to marry,” Meng Shi reminded her firmly, her breath slightly labored as she stood to pick up the soiled clothes. “He will be a cultivator. Their rules are different. One can make their own way in the cultivation world if they’re strong.”

“Saying it doesn’t make it true, Shi’er. You filled your baby’s head with stories about gentlemanly heroes—“

“It was not my idea, it was A-Yao’s,” Meng Shi whispered heatedly. “Besides, it’s safer this way, isn’t it?”

SiSi groaned. “I want the best for the babe too, but—”

They both turned to look towards the bed, where A-Yao slept fitfully. His face was flushed and his lips rosy, the prettiness of youth inexorably blossoming on his features with each passing month, no matter how much they tried to conceal it with baggy clothes and powders. 

“SiSi,” Meng Shi sighed, closing the curtains between the little alcove and the rest of the room. “You know as well as I do that women hardly ever leave this place. If A-Yao can… if at least A-Yao could…” 

She didn’t need to finish the sentence. The shared helplessness weighed on the both of them heavier than a stone, but their hope was shared as well, flimsy as it was. That a bright and willful child could make it out, could become someone.

Meng Shi nodded in a final manner, even as a traitorous cough made her choke in her fist. “If A-Yao can learn enough cultivation, he will be welcomed by his father no matter what he wears. Who wouldn’t accept such a good, filial child? He only needs to be strong enough to make the trip - we can protect him until then.”

 “Well, I agree with you on one thing, Shi’er… do not send that man a daughter.” SiSi rubbed Meng Shi’s arm dejectedly, shaking her head. “I’ll go get some ginger root for cramps.”

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Carpe Diem - Chapter 11

Pairing: Sketchbook (Kaisa/Johanna)

Summary: Carpe diem: one of the five latim mottos of the arcadist, or neoclassical movement. Literally translates to "seize the day"

Picking up where Locus Amoenus left off, this fic follows the lives of Kaisa and Johanna for a couple weeks as their feelings grow and develop. Updated weekly.

Notes: Second to last chapter, you guys!!

Read it on ao3 or read the first installment on this verse or read the second installment on this verse

Victoria had been right. It would have been better for Kaisa to listen to the recording of her and Abigail’s conversation in private. Not because of it bringing any trouble to her, but rather because it had been a herculean task to stop Johanna from marching to their professor’s office and demanding an explanation.

Johanna had been furious, and Victoria understood her perfectly well. She thought her anger had waned over the course of the weekend, but seeing Kaisa, vulnerable and hurt, brought the fire back to her chest. Only one thing stopped the two of them from taking this matter directly to the dean, and to the board of students, and to anyone at all who they thought would be able to bring any justice to the case. And that was Kaisa’s small voice, that though low had been able to cut through Victoria and Johanna’s heated conversation about which was the best course of action.

“I want to go home.” Kaisa whined softly, sounding heartbroken and several years younger. Her eyes were downcast and her shoulders were hunched, as if she was trying to close in on herself. Both of them stopped talking immediately, and even Victoria, who fancied herself as someone who didn’t easily fall victim to sentimentalism, felt her eyes stinging when she looked at her friend.

This wasn’t just about some gossip. This was about Kaisa having been isolated. It was about the trust that had been broken between her and her mother. It was about the years of torturing herself because she’d felt she owed it to everyone to meet their expectations. It was about so many things that her friends couldn’t be blamed for their explosive reaction, but she was glad when their embers burned out and they turned their compassionate gazes to her.

Victoria walked them to Johanna’s house, where she gave Kaisa a comforting nod and a request to text her later before getting her inside the car. Johanna drove them in silence. She understood that what Kaisa needed at that moment was some time to sort through her many thoughts.

Upon hearing Johanna’s car park in front of the house, Tildy ran to the garden, preceded only by Cornelius, whose joints were still more helpful than hers. It wasn’t at all unusual for Johanna to drop Kaisa off there anymore, but her daughter had left the house not long before and she knew she was supposed to be in class at the moment. When she saw her leave the car and stand stiffly in the front yard, her eyes glassy and unfocused, she knew undoubtedly that something had happened.

Luckily, the way Johanna rushed to her side and whispered something in a consoling tone to her meant that the problem hadn’t been between them. It was a relief on one hand, since it meant her daughter wouldn’t lose this very good thing she’d found, but also left Tildy on edge because whatever had gone wrong could probably be much worse.

She approached them, asking if all was well, and Kaisa flinched at her voice. Tildy looked at her face, but she didn’t meet her eyes. Kaisa remained expressionless, with her arms hugging her middle as Cornelius sniffed her socks.

“I’m sorry.” Kaisa said, her broken voice making Tildy’s heart shatter a little inside her chest. She didn’t even know what she was apologizing for, but she had no doubt she would forgive her. Beside her, Johanna looked at Tildy with concern.

None of them said anything for a moment. The air was charged, like both Tildy and Johanna were holding their breath. Even Cornelius had put a halt to his usual excitement to stare at Kaisa. Finally, the girl sighed, and it sounded like she was carrying the whole world on her frail back.

“I… I need to be alone for a moment.” She said, staring at the floor. “I’m sorry. I want to hug you, both of you, but I can’t right now. It’s too much. I’m sorry.”

On any other occasion, Tildy would have told her to not apologize, but she knew that in this state her daughter could use some silence. So she merely nodded and stepped aside to allow Kaisa into the house, knowing she’d want to make a beeline for her bedroom. Both of them watched her go, and when Kaisa had already disappeared behind the front door, Tildy turned to Johanna.

“Thank you for bringing her back.” She said to the worried looking girl, hoping she could disperse some of the tension so clearly etched into her features. “You are very kind. If you’re not in a rush, I would love it if you could join me for a cup of tea.”

Johanna finally dragged her gaze away from the front door and to Tildy, like she’d been hoping for a glimpse of Kaisa even after she’d climbed up the stairs and vanished from their field of vision.

“It’s no bother at all.” She said, not nonchalantly but rather emphatically. “Are you sure? Is it okay if I stay?”

Reaching up and touching her shoulder in a motherly gesture, Tildy did her best to smile through her worry. “If this is what you’re really asking, I’m sure that Kaisa would love to know you’re nearby.”

Biting down on her bottom lip, Johanna nodded after the reassurance. Tildy led her inside, then, and told her dog to go play outside in the garden while she prepared a pot of tea. Without needing to be prompted, Johanna gave her an outline of what had happened, saying that it would probably be better if Kaisa was the one to give the story more detail but also unable to leave the older woman worrying for any longer.

They sat in the living room as they drank, sometimes sharing ideas or feelings about the matter and what they’d do next, but mostly being silent, absorbed in their own thoughts. In the end, Johanna had to leave before Kaisa was ready to leave her room, but she only did so after writing a note which she asked Tildy to deliver her, and after being thanked profusely for her help and for her kindness.

She got a message from Kaisa later in the evening, also thanking her and assuring her that she was feeling much better. Johanna, eating dinner at the kitchen counter, was typing back asking if she knew what she wanted to do about it when her cousin interrupted her.

“Is it Kaisa?” He asked. “How is she?”

He had been at home when she came back from dropping her off, and had practically begged for the story, knowing something truly serious must have happened for Kaisa to skip class. However. it had felt wrong for Johanna to share it with someone who had nothing to do with this situation without Kaisa’s consent, so she hadn’t budged however much the words were nearly bursting out of her. 

“Please.” He had said. “I just want to know if she’s fine. Kaisa’s my friend too.”

Johanna had sighed and dropped the car keys off at the ceramic bowl on the small table by the door. “I don’t know about fine, but she’s stubborn, and she’s very loved. She’ll be okay.”

That had been the end of that conversation, but now she was able to shoot Edmund a relieved smile after she sent her her answer. “Unbreakable as always.”

                                                      ………

The next day, Johanna had been sitting on her usual seat as she waited for the start of the seminar, wondering what meditative breathing practice she could use that would lessen her desire to murder the professor, when the shadow of a person standing beside her made her jump in surprise.

“Kaisa?” She said like she was seeing the apparition of a dead relative and not someone who took this same class with her. She’d messaged her during the morning, checking in on her and gladly noting that her spirits seemed lifted again. Kaisa had shared that she’d talked at length with Tildy, apologized for not believing in her, and that they were in the clear about everything now. Still, Johanna hadn’t expected her to show up to class with the very professor who had assumed the worst of her and scattered it to the four winds. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I’m enrolled in this seminar, aren’t I?” She said with raised eyebrows. “I thought that after nearly half the semester you would have noticed this already.”

Johanna huffed, wondering if Kaisa had shown up just to mess with her, when she did something completely unexpected.

For the first time, Kaisa sat down on the front row, just beside Johanna.

“Sorry, am I stealing someone’s seat?” She asked humorously when Johanna didn’t stop looking at her like she was trying to solve a puzzle. “I won’t bother you with my presence if you don’t want me to.”

“No, stay!” Johanna said, way louder than she had intended and fast enough to make Kaisa giggle. Even if they couldn’t talk though the duration of the lecture, it was soothing to have the girl within her eyesight. Kaisa seemed to share the feeling.

When professor Abigail arrived and began her lecture, Kaisa made sure to spend the entire time sitting up completely straight and staring fixedly at her face, save for when she looked down to write something on her notebook. To Johanna, at least, it was crystal clear that the professor had noticed, and was struggling to ignore it. The longer they spent in class, the more she seemed to forget her words and glance nervously at the front row where Kaisa was.

As soon as it was over, they put their notebooks in their backpacks and got up without a word. Outside the room, the other alumni were already huddling around the notice board, all anxious to see how they had done on the latest essay.

Johanna reached out and grasped Kaisa’s hand, trusting that she’d tell her if it made her uncomfortable, but only getting a squeeze in return.

“Do you want to check ours?” She asked, leaning close to Kaisa’s ear. She was staring fixedly in the direction of that small commotion, but then she straightened her shoulders and shook her head.

“No.” She said softly, turning to Johanna with a ghost of a smile on her face. “I know we did well. How much so exactly doesn’t really matter.”

Johanna beamed, feeling pride radiate off of her. 

They walked away from the classroom hand in hand, without ever glancing back.

[causalitylinked]

( tfw @spiritpyro​ has yet to make a tce2 verse for hayate, but i already made a musician foil specifically for him since every go-home club member happens to have one. )

He goes by RION, which happens to be his musician name, but in reality, his real name happens to be Michiki Zukawa.

Despite appearing to be relatively young, RION is actually a married man in his late thirties with two kids, but his relationship with his wife happens to be a toxic, abusive one; in fact, he ended up being abused by her for years, so his regret can be summed up as ‘entering into a relationship with a violent woman’. Of course, the whole reason he doesn’t divorce her is because they have children together and nobody would take male domestic abuse survivors seriously, but because he is too cowardly to confront her or be a present father, RION would oppose Hayate and the other Go-Home Club members at every turn... because them returning back to reality means he can no longer live out his days in Redo.

He works as a zookeeper, so his in-game dungeon would basically be a zoo called Zuutopia, which is not only the place he happens to work at, but a location where the Go-Home Club members would eventually infiltrate, because sadly, defeating all the Musicians is basically one of the requirements of returning back to their world. The animals, though, happen to be fakes made by Regret; therefore, they may appear as static by those who are already aware Redo is fake.

I can’t really find a fitting song that would serve as his theme, but his music tends to revolve around mental health, depression, self-harm, and abusive love, all while having melancholic melodies with soft instrumentals, similarly to this song. Honestly, Hayate may have listened to his music and resonated with most of it before being transported to Redo, because back in the real world, RION was a Doll-P who ended up channelling his negative emotions into his music.

Because he’s meant to be a foil to Hayate, RION is gentle, well-mannered, kind, wimpy ( in the sense that abrasive women easily intimidate him ), pessimistic, melancholic, and cowardly. Despite being soft-spoken, however, he has no qualms, digging up dirt about Hayate’s past, so rather than fight him immediately, he’ll attempt to convince him that not only is the real world not worth it, Vivian would do nothing but cause him to suffer in the long run. To him, women are really more trouble than they’re worth, so he would encourage Hayate to keep running away from her now that they are officially neighbours. Furthermore, RION would even go as far as to call Vivian an ‘awful girl’ and would claim it’s not his fault, she ended up attempting suicide.

RION is a misogynist... not in the sense that he believes women are meant to serve men, of course, but in the sense that they’re all evil, selfish, manipulative creatures who aren’t capable of genuine love. To that end, he doesn’t exactly put Regret on a pedestal and has little affection for her. Unfortunately, though, most of his fans happen to be women, which distresses him to no end.

His weapon would be a giant box cutter, but he doesn’t like resorting to fighting, so he would prefer to talk things out before exchanging blows. Why, even when fighting Hayate, one could tell his heart isn’t exactly in it and that it pains him to actually have to hurt him and the Go-Home Club members ( even if Redo happens to be a fake world ).

Like Kudan, RION also happens to smoke.

He would refer to Hayate as ‘Hayate-kun’, and unlike how most of the Musicans would despise their Go-Home Club foils, RION can’t really bring himself to loathe him, if only because he sees a lot of himself in the younger man.

Because he has experience with parenting, kids seem to naturally gravitate towards him and he seems to be really good with children.

[absoluteroses]

LIVIA CARDEW.

general.

name.     livia cardew (snow, after her marriage). nicknames/known as.     the first lady. age and date of birth.     eighteen+. janurary 15th. gender and pronouns.     cisfemale (she/her). sexuality.     bisexual (closeted). status.     married/verse dependent.

background.

family.     copper cardew (father; alive; troubled relationship), aelia cardew (mother; alive; estranged), lepidus cardew (brother; older by ten years; estranged). significant other.     coriolanus snow (husband). place of birth.     the capitol of panem. education.     university diploma. occupation.     student/mentor for the 10th hunger games/banker/first lady of panem. religion.     none.

appearance.

hair.     straight and blonde. eye color.     blue. skin tone.     fair. height.     5'8"  weight.     130lbs faceclaim.     flora li thiemann.

personality.

traits.     boastful, a bad sport, all-around rude and mean spirited, disciplined, ambitious, hard-worker. mbti.     entj. enneagram.     tba. moral alignment.     tba. mental.     tba.

history.

her mother owned the largest bank in the capital and panem. livia was born into a life of luxury, a life her parents pretended to upkeep for the sake of their pride even during the war. they were lucky and able to recover more quickly than most families.

her father was always somewhat insecure that his wife was the successful one in the relationship. he often took this out on her, but aelia refused to take it. this lead to him taking it out on the children. there was no love between her parents. their children were mistakes, just a night of heavy drinking.

it wasn't always bad with her father, however. livia has some found memories of watching old illegally recorded plays with him. they would quote old plays back and forth.

her mother was primarily absent. livia only learned how to be ambitious from her, yet her father taught her that their mother wasn't right, that it should be him running the bank instead of her. she shouldn't stand in the way of her husband and his own ambitious. strive for more, but never more than him.

because of their father's abuse and mother's absence, her older brother often took it out on her. this lead to severe abuse. her parents told their friends and family that she was hospitalized for terrible cases of the flu when in reality, her brother had beaten her so terribly, she got a concussion or required surgery.

later on, her parents would disown her brother. not because of his abuse of his younger sister but for a scandal that livia was too young to understand and doesn't try to. the capital believes he was killed by rebels. he was sent to be a peacekeeper in the districts.

livia studied hard in school, leading her to be a mentor in the tenth hunger games. she was given the male tribute from one, which she wasn't afraid to show her enthusiasm for. her tribute was murdered, however, and her demands to be given another tribute were ignored. this was humiliating and she believed it would hurt her chances later in life.

a few years into her university career, coriolanus snow gave her an offer she couldn't refuse: to be the first lady alongside him. first lady of panem. she hated coriolanus. she hated how jealous she was of his status as an orphan. of his cousin who seemed to love him. of his grandmother who had proper respect for this country. yet, she couldn't turn him down.

be ambitious, but don't get in the way of her husband's ambition.

livia molded herself into everything a first lady should be: elegant, put-together, wise. she was ignorant of her nation's needs and once her mother retired, took control as the sole heir of the bank. her father was not happy. he approached her and convinced livia to sell it in order to put all of her time into her duties as snow's wife. with reluctance, she agreed.

she and snow married.

a few years into this match, they discussed having an heir. after all, his presidency was going well and the future of panem should be in snow hands. months passed. she was still not pregnant. a year passed. she went to the doctor. there shouldn't be any issues with her fertility. just a case of bad luck. ( the doctor was too afraid to ask president snow to come in and get evaluated. ) keep trying. they would have a baby sooner or later.

finally after a year and a half of trying, livia was given the good news. set on the idea they were having a son, she never asked for any further tests to be done.

the day came and livia labored for nearly two days. the question of having a c-section came up, but she refused. after her stays in hospitals as a child, surgery scared her too much. she would have the baby naturally. besides, it would be their heir. they wouldn't need to have anymore.

her chest dropped as they announced she'd given birth to a healthy baby girl.

panem rejoiced at the news. at least, livia assumed so. the night of the country's celebration, livia sat in her room with a bottle of wine.

they agreed to try again for a boy. again, it took more months than she'd hoped for to hear the good news.

this time, the birth was even worse. there were several complications that afterwards the doctors would tell her it was a miracle her and the baby survived. an emergency c-section was preformed despite her demands. livia passed out during the operation only to have a little baby girl waved in her face upon awakening. she passed out again afterwards.

after waking up in recovery, she was informed that the president demanded a tubal ligation to be preformed. she couldn't bring herself to care. anything for the president.

motherhood was not a role she settled into well. instead of attempting to bond with the pink-faced toddling girls that seemed to follow her everywhere despite the endless amount of nannies and tutors for them, she thrust herself into her work as first lady. though, there was something in her heart for the two girls. they were practically princesses of panem. spoiled to no end, yet they were clever. strong-willed. even wild in an interesting sort of way. the girls would know their mother better than their father.

after years of parties, annual games and working herself raw, livia began to reflect on her life. how her jealousy shaped her. how she felt threatened by everything. who had she become? why did she allow this to happen to her?

snow. all signs pointed to snow.

she would do a better job of running this country anyway.

yet, livia couldn't bring herself to slip the poison into his cup. she hated him. that would never change. not after years of marriage, their two daughters, their country. she hated him. yet her long-dead father's voice echoed in her mind.

she discarded the poison.

be ambitious, but don't get in the way of her husband's ambition.

ten years later, livia would suffer from a stroke. the country mourned her loss. her daughters cried. snow simply looked on as her coffin was carried away.

[pimpernals]

LIVIA CARDEW.

GENERAL.

NAME.   livia cardew

ALIASES.   first lady snow

AGE.   eighteen+

BIRTHDATE.   janurary 15

GENDER.   female 

SEXUALITY.   bisexual (closested)

STATUS.   married/verse dependent

ETHNICITY.   white

NATIONALITY.   panem

BIRTHPLACE.   the capital of panem

RESIDENCE.   the capital

OCCUPATION.   student/mentor for the 10th hunger games/banker/first lady of panem

PHYSICAL.

HEIGHT.   5’8”

WEIGHT.   130 lbs

BODY TYPE.   mesomorph

SKIN TONE.   fair

HAIRSTYLE.   straight

HAIR COLOR.   blonde

EYE COLOR.   blue

SCARS.   a c-section scar on her stomach which she is very sensitive about

FACECLAIM.   flora li thiemann

PERSONALITY.

TRAITS.    boastful, a bad sport, all-around rude and mean spirited, disciplined, ambitious, hard-worker

HABITS.   throwing her arms into the air when excited

HOBBIES.   studying, swimming, classical theater (an interest she shared with her father who would sneak her old recordings of old shows), the violin

FEARS   loosing control, rats, mice, contracting diseases

FAMILY.

FATHER.   copper cardew (alive; troubled relationship)

MOTHER.   aelia cardew (alive; estranged)

SISTER.   none

BROTHER.  lepidus cardew (older by ten years; estranged)

SIGNIFICANT OTHER.   coriolanus snow (husband)

SON.   none

DAUGHTER.   julianna snow (daughter), marcia snow (daughter)

GRANDCHILDREN. at least one granddaughter, cornelia snow

EXTRA.

MBTI.   entj

ENNEAGRAM.   tba.

ALIGNMENT.   tba.

HISTORY.

her mother owned the largest bank in the capital and panem. livia was born into a life of luxury, a life her parents pretended to upkeep for the sake of their pride even during the war. they were lucky and able to recover more quickly than most families.

her father was always somewhat insecure that his wife was the successful one in the relationship. he often took this out on her, but aelia refused to take it. this lead to him taking it out on the children. there was no love between her parents. their children were mistakes, just a night of heavy drinking.

it wasn't always bad with her father, however. livia has some found memories of watching old illegally recorded plays with him. they would quote old plays back and forth.

her mother was primarily absent. livia only learned how to be ambitious from her, yet her father taught her that their mother wasn't right, that it should be him running the bank instead of her. she shouldn't stand in the way of her husband and his own ambitious. strive for more, but never more than him.

because of their father's abuse and mother's absence, her older brother often took it out on her. this lead to severe abuse. her parents told their friends and family that she was hospitalized for terrible cases of the flu when in reality, her brother had beaten her so terribly, she got a concussion or required surgery.

later on, her parents would disown her brother. not because of his abuse of his younger sister but for a scandal that livia was too young to understand and doesn't try to. the capital believes he was killed by rebels. he was sent to be a peacekeeper in the districts.

livia studied hard in school, leading her to be a mentor in the tenth hunger games. she was given the male tribute from one, which she wasn't afraid to show her enthusiasm for. her tribute was murdered, however, and her demands to be given another tribute were ignored. this was humiliating and she believed it would hurt her chances later in life.

a few years into her university career, coriolanus snow gave her an offer she couldn't refuse: to be the first lady alongside him. first lady of panem. she hated coriolanus. she hated how jealous she was of his status as an orphan. of his cousin who seemed to love him. of his grandmother who had proper respect for this country. yet, she couldn't turn him down.

be ambitious, but don't get in the way of her husband's ambition.

livia molded herself into everything a first lady should be: elegant, put-together, wise. she was ignorant of her nation's needs and once her mother retired, took control as the sole heir of the bank. her father was not happy. he approached her and convinced livia to sell it in order to put all of her time into her duties as snow's wife. with reluctance, she agreed.

she and snow married.

a few years into this match, they discussed having an heir. after all, his presidency was going well and the future of panem should be in snow hands. months passed. she was still not pregnant. a year passed. she went to the doctor. there shouldn't be any issues with her fertility. just a case of bad luck. ( the doctor was too afraid to ask president snow to come in and get evaluated. ) keep trying. they would have a baby sooner or later.

finally after a year and a half of trying, livia was given the good news. set on the idea they were having a son, she never asked for any further tests to be done.

the day came and livia labored for nearly two days. the question of having a c-section came up, but she refused. after her stays in hospitals as a child, surgery scared her too much. she would have the baby naturally. besides, it would be their heir. they wouldn't need to have anymore.

her chest dropped as they announced she'd given birth to a healthy baby girl.

panem rejoiced at the news. at least, livia assumed so. the night of the country's celebration, livia sat in her room with a bottle of wine.

they agreed to try again for a boy. again, it took more months than she'd hoped for to hear the good news.

this time, the birth was even worse. there were several complications that afterwards the doctors would tell her it was a miracle her and the baby survived. an emergency c-section was preformed despite her demands. livia passed out during the operation only to have a little baby girl waved in her face upon awakening. she passed out again afterwards.

after waking up in recovery, she was informed that the president demanded a tubal ligation to be preformed. she couldn't bring herself to care. anything for the president.

motherhood was not a role she settled into well. instead of attempting to bond with the pink-faced toddling girls that seemed to follow her everywhere despite the endless amount of nannies and tutors for them, she thrust herself into her work as first lady. though, there was something in her heart for the two girls. they were practically princesses of panem. spoiled to no end, yet they were clever. strong-willed. even wild in an interesting sort of way. the girls would know their mother better than their father.

after years of parties, annual games and working herself raw, livia began to reflect on her life. how her jealousy shaped her. how she felt threatened by everything. who had she become? why did she allow this to happen to her?

snow. all signs pointed to snow.

she would do a better job of running this country anyway.

yet, livia couldn't bring herself to slip the poison into his cup. she hated him. that would never change. not after years of marriage, their two daughters, their country. she hated him. yet her long-dead father's voice echoed in her mind.

she discarded the poison.

be ambitious, but don't get in the way of her husband's ambition.

ten years later, livia would suffer from a stroke. the country mourned her loss. her daughters cried. snow simply looked on as her coffin was carried away.

[chasingdesre]

LIVIA CARDEW.

GENERAL.

NAME.   livia cardew

ALIASES.   first lady snow

AGE.   eighteen+

BIRTHDATE.   janurary 15

GENDER.   female 

SEXUALITY.   bisexual (closested)

STATUS.   married/verse dependent

ETHNICITY.   white

NATIONALITY.   panem

BIRTHPLACE.   the capital of panem

RESIDENCE.   the capital

OCCUPATION.   student/mentor for the 10th hunger games/banker/first lady of panem

PHYSICAL.

HEIGHT.   5’8”

WEIGHT.   130 lbs

BODY TYPE.   mesomorph

SKIN TONE.   fair

HAIRSTYLE.   straight

HAIR COLOR.   blonde

EYE COLOR.   blue

SCARS.   a c-section scar on her stomach which she is very sensitive about

FACECLAIM.   flora li thiemann

PERSONALITY.

TRAITS.    boastful, a bad sport, all-around rude and mean spirited, disciplined, ambitious, hard-worker

HABITS.   throwing her arms into the air when excited

HOBBIES.   studying, swimming, classical theater (an interest she shared with her father who would sneak her old recordings of old shows), the violin

FEARS   loosing control, rats, mice, contracting diseases

FAMILY.

FATHER.   copper cardew (alive; troubled relationship)

MOTHER.   aelia cardew (alive; estranged)

SISTER.   none

BROTHER.  lepidus cardew (older by ten years; estranged)

SIGNIFICANT OTHER.   coriolanus snow (husband)

SON.   none

DAUGHTER.   julianna snow (daughter), marcia snow (daughter)

GRANDCHILDREN. at least one granddaughter, cornelia snow

EXTRA.

MBTI.   entj

ENNEAGRAM.   tba.

ALIGNMENT.   tba.

HISTORY.

her mother owned the largest bank in the capital and panem. livia was born into a life of luxury, a life her parents pretended to upkeep for the sake of their pride even during the war. they were lucky and able to recover more quickly than most families.

her father was always somewhat insecure that his wife was the successful one in the relationship. he often took this out on her, but aelia refused to take it. this lead to him taking it out on the children. there was no love between her parents. their children were mistakes, just a night of heavy drinking.

it wasn't always bad with her father, however. livia has some found memories of watching old illegally recorded plays with him. they would quote old plays back and forth.

her mother was primarily absent. livia only learned how to be ambitious from her, yet her father taught her that their mother wasn't right, that it should be him running the bank instead of her. she shouldn't stand in the way of her husband and his own ambitious. strive for more, but never more than him.

because of their father's abuse and mother's absence, her older brother often took it out on her. this lead to severe abuse. her parents told their friends and family that she was hospitalized for terrible cases of the flu when in reality, her brother had beaten her so terribly, she got a concussion or required surgery.

later on, her parents would disown her brother. not because of his abuse of his younger sister but for a scandal that livia was too young to understand and doesn't try to. the capital believes he was killed by rebels. he was sent to be a peacekeeper in the districts.

livia studied hard in school, leading her to be a mentor in the tenth hunger games. she was given the male tribute from one, which she wasn't afraid to show her enthusiasm for. her tribute was murdered, however, and her demands to be given another tribute were ignored. this was humiliating and she believed it would hurt her chances later in life.

a few years into her university career, coriolanus snow gave her an offer she couldn't refuse: to be the first lady alongside him. first lady of panem. she hated coriolanus. she hated how jealous she was of his status as an orphan. of his cousin who seemed to love him. of his grandmother who had proper respect for this country. yet, she couldn't turn him down.

be ambitious, but don't get in the way of her husband's ambition.

livia molded herself into everything a first lady should be: elegant, put-together, wise. she was ignorant of her nation's needs and once her mother retired, took control as the sole heir of the bank. her father was not happy. he approached her and convinced livia to sell it in order to put all of her time into her duties as snow's wife. with reluctance, she agreed.

she and snow married.

a few years into this match, they discussed having an heir. after all, his presidency was going well and the future of panem should be in snow hands. months passed. she was still not pregnant. a year passed. she went to the doctor. there shouldn't be any issues with her fertility. just a case of bad luck. ( the doctor was too afraid to ask president snow to come in and get evaluated. ) keep trying. they would have a baby sooner or later.

finally after a year and a half of trying, livia was given the good news. set on the idea they were having a son, she never asked for any further tests to be done.

the day came and livia labored for nearly two days. the question of having a c-section came up, but she refused. after her stays in hospitals as a child, surgery scared her too much. she would have the baby naturally. besides, it would be their heir. they wouldn't need to have anymore.

her chest dropped as they announced she'd given birth to a healthy baby girl.

panem rejoiced at the news. at least, livia assumed so. the night of the country's celebration, livia sat in her room with a bottle of wine.

they agreed to try again for a boy. again, it took more months than she'd hoped for to hear the good news.

this time, the birth was even worse. there were several complications that afterwards the doctors would tell her it was a miracle her and the baby survived. an emergency c-section was preformed despite her demands. livia passed out during the operation only to have a little baby girl waved in her face upon awakening. she passed out again afterwards.

after waking up in recovery, she was informed that the president demanded a tubal ligation to be preformed. she couldn't bring herself to care. anything for the president.

motherhood was not a role she settled into well. instead of attempting to bond with the pink-faced toddling girls that seemed to follow her everywhere despite the endless amount of nannies and tutors for them, she thrust herself into her work as first lady. though, there was something in her heart for the two girls. they were practically princesses of panem. spoiled to no end, yet they were clever. strong-willed. even wild in an interesting sort of way. the girls would know their mother better than their father.

after years of parties, annual games and working herself raw, livia began to reflect on her life. how her jealousy shaped her. how she felt threatened by everything. who had she become? why did she allow this to happen to her?

snow. all signs pointed to snow.

she would do a better job of running this country anyway.

yet, livia couldn't bring herself to slip the poison into his cup. she hated him. that would never change. not after years of marriage, their two daughters, their country. she hated him. yet her long-dead father's voice echoed in her mind.

she discarded the poison.

be ambitious, but don't get in the way of her husband's ambition.

ten years later, livia would suffer from a stroke. the country mourned her loss. her daughters cried. snow simply looked on as her coffin was carried away.

[lovehoned]

character rundown;

feel free to ask more questions. this is like ... paragraph primer on original characters/semi original characters or characters like annie who people might not know.

ada wordsworth; fc: zoe love smith. 25ish. she/they.

ada's not human. ada's family was taking a vacation from their planet and her father's ship crash landed on earth, in england, and they've been sort of hiding in plain sight for the past ... fifteen years. they landed when they were eleven years old. she appears humanoid so it hasn't been much of an issue. her planet was pretty small and their main export were ships - both very technically advanced boats and spaceships. they can't get off of earth because they cannot get their hands on advanced enough technology. ada's been here since she was eleven so ... does she even want to leave anymore? maybe not permanently. thinks she can fly any spaceship. likes to tinker with stuff. fascinated with history and museums.

sophia keener. fc: kathryn newton. 17 - 20ish, she/her

the younger sister of m/arvel's harley ke/ener. she watched her brother (munchie's harley, over at goldshadows) get dusted when she was twelve, and when he came back five years later, she was seventeen and he came back at seventeen. genius in her own rights, though certainly not as obviously as harley is. into the living sciences like biology, ecology. developed an interest in prosthetics when her brother lost his hand. has ptsd and panic attacks. enjoys sour candy and causing problems. has a verse where she moonlights as iron gal while her brother is iron pal.

robin rockwell. fc: liana liberato. 17-20ish. she/her

energy manipulator, developed the power at around 13. abilities include draining energy from others by touch, then can create energy based attacks with this energy as well as telekinesis. the former leaves her exhausted. struggling to control her ability to drain energy through touch, so tends to isolate herself. learns she has two older half siblings who also have abilities, both who are missing. intends to find them, moved to a boarding school at 17 in the same city they were last seen in. has this amazing father who raised her on his own.

non originals:

annie smith. fc: young emily alyn lind. 7 - 9, she/her.

has a magic tree/house. it travels in time and space. it works for her and her brother because they're the only ones authorized to use it. she's been doing this since she was six years old. her brother has been doing this since he was nine years old. they've been rescuing people, places, and things since they were elementary school children. time moves weirdly around her sometimes. she can talk to animals. she hangs out in camelot sometimes. she likes animals, fantasy worlds, and not thinking about things before she does it. is friends with merlin himself. has a best friend that's also a dog sometimes. made friends with a pterodactyl. was on the moon. you ever see a seven year old do tricks for houdini? no? you want to?

wi/nston b/ishop. 30s. fc: lamorne morris he/him.

you ever see a man who loves his cat so much. you ever see a man who loves his wife so much. you ever see a man who DOESN'T run a radio program and also DOES wear bird shirts? color blind puzzle baby. prank sinatra. would make the FUNNIEST POSSIBLE do/ctor who companion. i have icons of both him AND his cat. once married someone ... for a prank.

janet. not an age. not a gender. fc: d'arcy carden

she's not a girl! she's not human! she doesn't have skin! she does know everything about you! i have the files for eleanor. here is a cactus. her best friend is a demon from hell named michael.

elle greenaway. fc: odette annable. she/they. 30s.

worked for the fbi's BAU for awhile. got hurt, then got in trouble. left the fbi's bau. honestly what i want for her post series is still under construction. but i felt it was important to include her. heed the warnings in her bio if you take a look at it please.

obligatory self @lovehoned so i can reblog this.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

God Is Comforting Me

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+Psalm 29:11 The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+Romans 8:35  Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM FILLED WITH JOY

I AM NOT SEPARATED FROM GOD

I AM PUSHING THROUGH

I AM LOVING MY LIFE

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

   When I was younger, my dad was always there to help me through big and small problems, and he's still like that today. Maybe a few years ago, I got my heart broken pretty bad, and I came home. He said Lui, you're stronger than what you think dont let this bother you; keep pushing; well, a couple of days later, he saw me crying again, and he was right there, and this went on for a couple of months but each time he never got impatient with me he just gathered me up each time and comforted me.

That's how God is with us as an actual dad a true lover of his creation we may sometimes feel that God will give up on us if we have trouble after trouble and no matter how many times he has to give us a talk or comfort us he will always be right there to help us through.

 Verse 37 "No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us."

  Even if we feel we are fighting it alone, we aren’t, we have victory through Jesus because he loves us. We will always have a fair fight when we work with Jesus; life is tough sometimes because when the enemy wants to attack, he doesn't play fair; he uses anyone that is willing to allow him to; he will use family or friends, but we must be wise and use discernment and rebuke him when he comes because we already won like the verse says all we must do is claim it!

  1 Peter 4:12-13 Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world."

   The Bible tells us dont be surprised that we are dealing with trials and dont think we're the only one that is dealing with this because when we are walking on the straight and narrow, the word tells us we will suffer, but what we must do is hold on to what we have, WHICH IS the victory no matter how big and rough it gets just hold on God has you in his arms.

Joseph went through so much with his family and in his life, but he didn't let that break him ,he kept pushing through because he knew what God had showed him. It was him being in victory; he didn't lose sight of that ,no matter who accused him or how hurt he still was, of what happened with his brothers. He didn't let that bring him down, and we can't let what the enemy thinks he meant for our bad to destroy our peace because what he meant for our bad turned out to be for our good !!

   " Jeremiah 31:3 the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

   The Lord is telling us today I love you with an everlasting love, and he will always continue to be faithful to us; Jonah tried to run away from God, but God still provided for him because he loved Jonah ,even though Jonah showed he was angry God paid that no mind because he wanted to be with him through his anger and sometimes even though we think we can handle everything God constantly shows us how we need Him more then we will ever say ,dont feel bad for what you're going through just know that Jesus loves you so much and that he’ll never just leave you to figure it out, he will always be there to comfort you.

***Today don’t run from the presence of God he’s trying to help you figure out what is happening in your life , if we don’t allow him in to comfort us how will he, we have to start taking those moments of weakness and not taking them to friends ,not to family but to God and tell him how hurt we-are and how much we need him to stand with us , it’s an awful feeling to feel as if we’re standing alone , it’s an awful feeling to feel that no one is there but even if we’re walking in that now know that God is there with us to pick us up and comfort us ! ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father we thank you for all things we ask that you be with us , we ask that you give us comfort and love us through our rough and tough situations sometimes we feel that we are dealing with all theses emotions alone but father we give them unto you ! We ask that you help us through whatever situation we are in please ! Lord we ask you to help us not to see it just our way, if we are the problem please show us how to turn it around ! Lord we ask you to not to allow every situation or problem to break our spirit but to make us stronger ! We ask that you forgive us of the sins we have done and help us to stay strong in you in Jesus Name Amen

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REFERENCES

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+2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God

+ Psalm 71:21 You will increase my greatness and comfort me again.

+ Psalm 119:76 Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant

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FURTHER READINGS

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Genesis 31:17-32:12

Matthew 10:24-11:6

Psalm 13:1-6

Proverbs 3:16-18

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[taiinted]

@malka-lisitsa​  continued from here. 

THEY HAD WOKEN WITH A START, HEAD JOLTING AWAY FROM THEIR PORTFOLIO, full of research on the town that had practically become their home these past couple of weeks ( the unexplained disappearances, the strange happenings that the town residents was quick to clam up about when they pressed them for more information ― they doubted they would do that if they saw their crimson red eyes hidden beneath their  pair of aviator glasses, instead they would tell them everything, just to get them away from them  ) . They can’t imagine it’s a good look, what with their messy hair strewn across their head, their smudged makeup and the ink stains on their cheek from lying on the fountain pen notations they had scrawled in the margins, each one listing vampire in various languages. Romanian mainly  ― and they pursue their lips when they know she is right. 

❝Fine, take it, its not t’my taste anyway, not when it’s laced with vervain. I think someone in here is testin’ me, its that or they are tryin’ to protect me from fallin under compulsion.  ❞ He returns, feigning something of a woeful pout as they look up at her.  ❝The thing is I am already immune t’compulsion without a herb helpin me, but are ya certain ya want to drink that, considerin’ what ya are.   ❞

[the-heaminator]

It was a cold night tonight, a thick layer of frost accumulating on any available surface, it was late too, and Gilbert knew Ludwig hadn't slept yet, trying to catch up with an imaginary backlog, he assumed such a tactic was to distract himself, after all it was a thing he himself used to do not so long ago.

"Ludwig, schatz, please sleep, please."

He was standing in the doorway, wrapped in a blanket like an old mother would do, and ready to fuss over Ludwig like one too.

"I'm fine, Gilbert just leave me alone." He had hoped for it to come out just harsh enough to drive Gilbert away, he just wanted to stew in his own thoughts for a while, but instead it came out empty and desolate, something he never liked to sound.

His brother hurried over to him, maternal instincts going into overdrive as he quickly checked him for fever and turned off his laptop, making sure all files were saved.

"Nein, you are sleeping now, you have a fever and putting off rest will only make it worse." He lightly tugged Ludwigs arm, momentarily forgetting that he was no longer a small child anymore, able to be dragged up to bed and bribed with cookies, now a grown man far, far taller than Gilbert himself. But it had been such a short span of time in the grand scheme of things, that he forgot Ludwig was fully grown.

Regardless of that he was unwell, and he knew something was troubling him in his head, and he full well knew that he wouldn't want to discuss this right now, tomorrow morning would be a better time, but for now he had to get Ludwig to sleep.

It was always a difficult job to get him to sleep, when he was small, a babe in arms he would cry and weep through the night, early nationhood hurt, Gilbert knew that, though is early years were so long ago he barely remembered them, he knew that he was borne in a time of severe instability and Ludwig was too, though the circumstances were wildly different.

Back then him singing would often get him to sleep in scarcely a verse, sometimes on his worst nights Gilbert wept over his cradle, he loved him dearly and wished not for him to leave this world so early. The maid saw this once, though she never said anything about it, most likely shocked that Herr Belichmidt was capable of such softness and human sincerity.

Schlaf ein, schlaf ein, schlaf ein Du gähnst schon, komm, kuschel dich ein Ich sing dir noch ein Lied Ich freu mich so, dass es dich gibt

Even as he neared adolescence he would ask Gilbert to sing for him, during the horrors of the wars, the scorching pain of bombs in the both of them, he sang for Ludwig, he was used to such pain, his baby brother was not.

Tired voice echoing around the bunker, though more often than not a few of the younger soldiers could be seen hanging around when he explicitly told them to leave, they were forced to grow so fast, and he hadn't the courage to discipline them for being human; if they gained comfort from listening to his tired voice sing, so be it.

Ich wünsch dir eine gute Nacht Wir sehen uns, wenn wieder die Sonne lacht Schlaf ein, schlaf ein, schlaf ein Wir lieben dich, schlaf jetzt ein Wir lieben dich, schlaf jetzt ein

The wall was erected and torn down, though during the period he was required to comfort too, Latvia, Ravis, the poor boy had seen so much and often awoke in a frenzied terror, only calming once someone sang for him. It was the same with a lot of the others, though they refused to admit it.

The duty alternated between him and Katya usually, and it made the others sleep too, he had grown remarkably good at comfort, despite insisting that he was still like marble, unmoving and cold, though more and more began to see him for what he was.

Schlaf ein, schlaf ein, schlaf ein Du gähnst schon, komm, kuschel dich ein Ich sing dir noch ein Lied Ich freu mich so, dass es dich gibt

The separation had affected Ludwig badly, understandably so, the brother that had always been there for him suddenly taken away, thrust upon the international stage with no inkling of how he was to behave. But en the wall broke it seemed to get better, both were more reserved respective traumas playing a part in their manner, but they made it work.

But now Ludwig needed to sleep, tucked up in his bed nice and warm, with Gilbert leaning against the headboard with the bedside lamp on, softly singing and stroking his not so little brothers hair, the well worn lullaby sinking itself into the very being of the house, finally sending him into a deep slumber, and through no admission of his own, Gilbert's eyes started to grow a little misty, he really loved his brother with what was left of his soul, all of it.

Ich wünsch dir eine gute Nacht Wir sehen uns, wenn wieder die Sonne lacht Schlaf ein, schlaf ein, schlaf ein Wir lieben dich, schlaf jetzt ein Wir lieben dich, schlaf jetzt ein Wir lieben dich, schlaf jetzt ein

Schlaf jetzt ein Schlaf jetzt ein Schlaf jetzt ein Schlaf ein

[elvisabutler]

now you have me curious, how would pa! reader and austin have been if they had met earlier?

literally nothing. absolutely nothing. oh? oh. no you wanted an answer. okay fine, but know like the "we'll be together when you're 30 and i'm 40" anon, y'all have gotten me in trouble with my own throwaway lines. ( i kid, truly, this was actually a nice thing to theorize about and if i write something about it- well- we all know i'm a sucker for au's of my own au. )

okay so serious answer? it depends entirely on how we're defining earlier. because i write my pa! reader as about 9ish/10ish years younger than austin. so there is not that much earlier to play with in terms of legal age which i'm sticking to. it'd be different if the age difference was smaller, so if pa! reader was a little older but as the entire verse/world is based mildly on that age difference, yeah it doesn't necessarily work. ( this isn't true for other people's pa! reader, or like some stuff i'll write that's in my inbox but ya know ) but basically it boils down to a too young but good friend situation until the reader's late 20s?

that being said, so he's always going to end up still being with vanessa and there's a difference between meeting her at 18 vs. 20/21. because here's the thing, papi? still happens even though austin tells her it's a bad idea because he's not gonna leave his wife for you, come on now. but pa! reader will make the argument that she's a grown adult and he treats her like austin treats vanessa. to which everyone say it with me- "no honey no." eighteen year olds, not the best judges of character. run off do the dumb thing with papi, don't contact austin during it and then 2 months go by and he gets a text in the middle of the night, "know you're with nessa. i'm fine, call me later?"

and here's a thing that ends up coloring 95% of his interactions with her for almost a decade. because austin ends up seeing her as like a kid versus you know the adult she technically is because he met her at 18 so even when she's 21/22 he's still thinks "kid" not adult. so he's always thinking "oh is how I'm interacting with her hurting her." point blank she doesn’t end up getting to be priscilla because when her name is even brought up austin shoots it down because "no she's a kid I'm not gonna do that". also generally speaking you know he will still be really really aware of how elvis was with priscilla. so he won't want her to be priscilla.

it definitely causes a fight to where they go from good friends to sort of half friends from like 22 to like 28. jokes on austin though because eventually there's like a miniseries or something about priscilla's life and lo and behold yeah she still ends up being a priscilla actress.

and then you know she's older and wiser, austin's a divorced single dad to little lori butler. career trajectory wise she probably mirrors his in that you know she does the odds and ends sort of parts and then toward the tail end of her 20s it's boom she gets all these parts. but she gets cast first then he gets cast second because he's got the star power and she's still kind of iffy re: can she hold up a movie by herself. austin almost backs out when he realizes who's playing his romantic interest but his agent reminds him hey you haven't ever done like a regency thing so do it now. besides since you know her it should be fine.

pa! reader gives no fucks because whatever this could be her big break. sees austin for the first time in years at the table read and is like "hi." and austin endures the most awkward moment of "oh fuck you're hot" of his life because this is the first time he's thought of her in that light ( pa! reader always had kind of liked austin but also isn't dumb and realizes he thinks of her as a kid even pre-fight ). and then they get to know each other again, totally fall for each other, she calls him birdie he definitely subs for her on occasion and it's generally just a different dynamic with the exception of austin still being incredibly protective over her. and also the publicists/pr/agents loving them because they're not idiots like in the actual main world thing.

might this have been an excuse to just use that gif up at the top? maybe. did i also love this question? yes. will i probably write up a headcanon post for this? i've done stranger things. would austin get a wet shirt scene in this hypothetical movie? yes.

also. consider: "did it really take a decade for you to stop thinking of me as a kid who made a decision so bad you called my mother?" "yeah, but trust me, that is- the farthest thing from my mind right now." "are we just gonna be like kurt russell and goldie hawn?" "depends, you trust me enough to marry me?" "i did when i was 18, it's almost a decade after and i still do, birdie."