#+ she just told me new things i didn't know and yeah they're negative

[jellyrabbitz]

𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓔𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

Don't ever suppress your feelings in the name of the law of assumption or attraction.

Contrary to popular belief, feelings do not manifest; if you get sad over something and spiral for a little, that doesn't mean you're going to somehow attract more misery into your life, or that your manifestations will instantly fall apart.

Allow yourself to process your emotions. You don't have to remain in a happy or fulfilled state at all times to manifest. Many of you in this community seem to think you have to keep your 'mental diet' in check, but I don't believe it's necessary. Forcing yourself to think only positive and happy thoughts 24/7 is exhausting, isn't it? When I first joined this community, all it did was burn me out. I even began to experience lower back and hip pain because of how much I held in. Often I found myself thinking, "Why do I still feel so miserable even though I've supposedly been doing everything right?"

It's because shoving down your frustration and agony only riles it up more until it rears back up angrier and gnarlier than before, like a nasty untamed beast.

Don't be like me and simply let the emotions roll over you instead of fighting them. They're gone much quicker when you allow them to come.

Look, your manifestations will come regardless of how you feel. Think of it this way, you might get pissed over how long it's taking your package to arrive, but it's still on its way to you. So let it all out because there is nothing to worry about, you aren't going to ruin your 'package' just with some silly emotions. Seriously, don't listen to whoever came up with the whole 'negative emotions ruins your manifestation' bs.

Besides, 'perfect' people have their bad days as well. I see some coaches saying, "if you were your desired self, would they be having this negative thought?" Yeah, she might actually, because she's still a human being and not some unreachable goddess without emotions. Even people with their dream lives have negative thoughts just like anyone else. This idea that our 'ideal selves' have no negative thoughts or emotions EVER feels ridiculous to me.

Let's face it, it's normal for a lot of us in this community to feel discouraged. Trust me, I get it, it may look like nothing is going your way and this is all pointless. You might check the 3D and wilt when you realize nothing seems to have changed. There's nothing wrong with that! Checking the 3D is a normal thing for us to do-just like checking if our package is on the way-and I honestly think 'ignore the 3D' or 'the 3D isn't real' is harmful advice.

The way I like to see it is that the 3D is merely a reflection of my old and shitty thoughts that isn't permanent, and whenever I manifest it's like I'm planting a seed.

Instead of trying to force yourself to believe your 3D is perfect now, (which is extremely difficult for those of us who have terrible circumstances and can also be bad for your mental health) it may be better to acknowledge your current situation but know that it's changing.

I'd like to give an example from my own life, since I know my wording may seem confusing to some. A few weeks ago I received the news that my uncle was bound to die very soon, and they were putting him on a ventilator. Obviously I was upset after hearing this, and I allowed myself to wallow in sadness for a few minutes. Everyone around me was convinced he wouldn't make it.

Although I was miserable, I still persisted in the thought that he would pull through. I didn't even do any of my usual methods such as scripting and just told myself, "I know he will make it."

A few days later my aunt called me overjoyed. The hospital suddenly switched up and said he wasn't doing as bad as they thought, and he wouldn't even need the ventilator!

See? I still manifested even while I was sad, even while I had doubts, and he made it through. This is only one example of many.

You can manifest while feeling any emotion, even the acrid ones that feel like they're eating you up inside. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[asksoldieron]

SO-18: Memory Bomb!

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

No art, but hopefully my eyes will improve enough to add some later!

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for Peanut Butter Bubblegum (SO-18) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

There! They got him! Well, sorta. That's definitely not Erik but he's in there somewhere. They'll get him out! Eventually!

I had such a cool idea for a musical comic but I can't do it. You'll have to read and imagine David and Hyacinth having it out, while what he is now is slowly subsumed by what he once was... Or while an imposter who made a very bad decision becomes permanently trapped in a web of his own lies. Maybe both at once!

*sigh* I'm struggling, but I don't get real feedback from the eye doctor. It's like they don't think I can't handle any negativity, so everything is all smiles and "you're doing great!" while I'm dealing with shit they should've sat me down and told me about before I even had the damn surgery.

You see, I had the impression the surgery was the best option for not losing any of the improvement I spent all last year making myself sick to gain. Heh. Maybe it was, but I've still lost ground and I'll need to put in even more work to get it back. I have a different issue now: stamina. My eyes get tired of focusing on detail, near and far, and in certain situations they'll just stop. I'll be straining as hard as I can and I won't be able to tell you if that's a D, C, O or G. It won't shift in and out of focus like I might be able to get it eventually, it'll just be a static blur until I rest my eyes and come back to it. (Kinda think the doctor thought I was faking or playing it up, since I could read letters the first time she asked me to, and then I couldn't. But the tech just listened to me describe what was happening and said, "Oh, yeah. Your eyes are just tired. Take a break.")

I don't have much trouble reading - as long as it's black and white or close to that. Much like Erik, I can get it from context. I've always read the shape of the word, because my damn eyes never worked like they're supposed to. But art is not like that. Hell, even reading a comic is harder for me right now.

I'm getting my Xmas computer soon. It has a bigger screen than my tablet, and I should be able to draw on it. I might not get so tired so fast with a bigger screen, but I won't know until I try. I found a good enough refurbished deal that I can afford a pen display with an even bigger screen, if it comes to that, but I'll have to give myself some time to strengthen my eyes in any case.

I thought I was just going to heal from this - it would only be a matter of time until the wound closed and my corneas cleared up - I certainly got that impression at the start. But now they say I'm not going to get better without more work. I'm stuck doing pretty much the same exercises, only now they're hard in a different way. The dry-eye does seem to be improving, but there's no guarantee it will keep doing that. I have nearly a year to wait for the dryness and light tolerance to stabilize, those things are the slowest to heal. Well, they would be the slowest, if I didn't have this stupid vision dysfunction. I have no idea how long that's going to take to adapt.

Anyway, this is all too many words. I'm trying to explain why I won't be able to come back with more story after a two week break, even though I have the next six-pack almost ready to go. I can write. I can reorganize the site (and I need to do that, the theme and the global colours are just stupid, and all my pattern blocks are malfunctioning). I can open a new bank account and put together a Ko-Fi page (after Patreon gets rid of my data - they only have a couple more days to do that within their 30-day limit!!). I can't illustrate. Nobody's going to stop scrolling and look at this shit in their feed if there's no images, and I'm not resorting to stock photos or AI.

I want to get to the point where I can spam my followers with something I'm proud of that looks nice, and send them to a site that I'm also proud of and which looks nice. I want more readers, but I don't feel right asking for them when everything's falling apart, including me.

So, I'll be here, but there won't be more story for a while. At least give me until the 20th, that'll be three months out from the surgery and I should be fairly well healed by then. It's just that I have this stamina issue nobody warned me about and no timeline for that. Almost like it doesn't matter. Hey, you can see without glasses! 20/20! Like we promised! Does it really matter if it expires without warning? It works when you read off the chart the first time and that's all you need, right?

No. I told you people I was an artist. You don't seem to be reviewing my chart and god alone knows if you even wrote it down, but you did ask me and I told you. This is not enough.

We'll see what the next few weeks will do for me. I hope like hell I'll be back soon with another six - words AND pictures.

[Back to Site?]

[abbadoabbadon]

OP, this is such a shitty thing to say.

When I was 15, I met my psychiatrist and knew her for three sessions (all of an hour at most combined) before she diagnosed me, an AFAB 15 year old at the time, with BPD. Her reasoning? She believed I was manipulative and because I self harmed. She refused to listen to me when I tried to tell her I have trauma, she refused to listen to me when I tried to tell her I was being abused, she even had my mother sit in my sessions against my will, so I was unable to honestly talk about anything without being abused after the session.

When I tried to leave the room in the middle of a session because both her and my mother were berating me, she yelled at me to get back in the room and not have a "borderline attack" on her.

Years later (I'm 27 now), I do not have BPD, I don't even fit the criteria for BPD. I have CPTSD, autism, and DID.

When I was around 21, I went to find a new psychiatrist and was supposed to see a woman and was given a man instead. I told the man I had been diagnosed with BPD (back when I still was under the impression I had it) and that I have CPTSD. I talked to him for 15 minutes. No more, no less. In that fifteen minutes, he diagnosed me as bipolar and kept arguing that BPD = bipolar, and he told me I don't have PTSD because PTSD is due strictly because of sexual trauma. I told him I do have sexual trauma and it's not caused only by sexual trauma, and he tried getting me to talk in excruciating detail about the sexual trauma and thought I was lying because I couldn't.

One therapist I had when I was 13 told me if I really had DID I would need to be locked up for a long, long time.

I've seen multiple doctors all my life for the stomach issues I was born with and have been told by many that it's "anxiety" and I just need more water. I have IBS, celiac disease, POTS, and fibromyalgia.

One stomach doctor did a blood test and celiac came back negative. He did a biopsy on my stomach tissue and it came back positive for celiac. I told my next stomach doctor that I have celiac, he did a biopsy, it came back negative. I assumed I didn't have it. I told him other concerns I had, he told me "drink water" and sent me out the door after taking 200+ dollars from me.

Another doctor told me it would come back negative if I wasn't eating gluten to light the test up. I hadn't been eating gluten at the time the second test was done. He said "so you do have it."

I went and saw another specialist for my stomach, told him the celiac will show up negative in blood, but positive in a biopsy. He only did the bloodwork on me and said "yeah, you don't have it" and refused to listen to me or do other tests and they're still calling me to this day to get 200+ dollars from me when they haven't done shit.

My period pains and the symptoms I experience have been written off as "anxiety" and "just regular periods". My current doctor diagnosed me with PMDD and immediately put me on birth control pills to help me with the symptoms.

I've seen numerous doctors and therapists that try and write off what I experience as "anxiety" or just making shit up. I'd been in 5 different psych wards, who all claim that I'm perfectly fine and there's nothing wrong with me and I'm just looking for attention. My social worker I had when I was 13 told me I was "just looking for attention".

So no, professionals do not know my brain better than I do. They may know more about the human brain than I do, but they do not know my brain better than I do. They'd rather write me off as an "attention whore" than actually listen to anything I have to say.

And as @starlitvases said: "The medical industry is built on sexism, racism, and ableism."

You in fact do not know yourself better than medical professionals. We see alof of posts saying how "i know my brain better than medical professionals" no. You don't, they are called professionals for the reason that they have studied and gotten degrees in specific fields. - Riley

[6eetle]

Quickie thing i'm gonna blog about today teehee

it gets a little personal so if you dont wanna see allat i'll just put it under the cut

So like, this has been something that's been on my mind the past few weeks just as a floating concept in my mind. But today, my mom was looking at me try on a new coat. She asked me to come closer so she could examine it better so yk, i did, but then her attention drew to my face. She placed her hand on my cheek and when i looked at her she had a look of like?? absolute concern? Bewilderment, even! Why? Facial hair. Not enough to be considered a beard or anything but enough to be noticeable. She was all like "is that your hair?" (as in my actual head hair) and i was like..no? its like she didnt wanna believe it. No way! your DAUGHTER whos a GIRL has MAN hormones running through HER body! SHE isn't supposed to have FACIAL HAIR!

And I mean, technically I shouldn't have facial hair. I only have it because of PCOS. But then I think back to everything and the several cycles of denial, self-consciousness, confusion, and all the negative things I've thought about regarding the way that I am. The way my body works. And at some point I sorta just. Broke that cycle? I mean, it's still insanely difficult to accept sometimes when you pass as a woman to everyone on the outside but the INSTANT they see little ol me with some thick sideburns they get a worrisome look. Almost like they pity me! I've been told so many goddamn times as of recent years.. "Ness, you don't look like a woman! :(" "Ness! Here's some tips on how to shave!" My whole family looks at me like it's some horrible disease and that I just live in total absolute misery with a little extra hair lmao. I've even had a little kid come up to me and ask "do you have a beard?" and then it just felt like the whole room had eyes on me. But one thing I've noticed about it all is that I don't really care..? Heck, I even like it a little! But because of my own family always giving me weird looks for embracing something that's a normal bodily function by nature I feel insecure about it anyway. Not for myself, but for others. Because fuck dude!! maybe they're right! I don't pass as a woman! I mean I'm not a woman to myself, I identify as nonbinary with maybe a little bit of femininity in the mix, but that doesn't matter because they don't like it. because they think it's unnatural and is a problem that has to be treated.

And it's like. Idk man i'm so sick of being pitied and treated like some poor soul who doesn't know how to take care of themself. What I do with my body is my business. Why does it concern you??? Why do people always look at me and are so fucking put off by that small little feature about me? Always cherry-picking what should and shouldn't happen with my development. I didn't choose to grow the hair, I chose to keep it. And I'm going to continue to keep it because at the end of the day I've accepted it's a part of me. And it's super fucked that they only see me as some anomaly rather than a being who can, like everyone else, develop parts of them that are natural in a biological sense, but not natural to gender roles, beauty standards or whatever. Traits that are "ugly". It's super disappointing. Like yeah I'm beautiful until I start growing a beard or something i guess

This isn't necessarily a vent post I would say. In fact, I want to be positive about it! Because I really wanna emphasize the idea that no one should be in charge of the way you look, or the way you decide to love your body. Despite what's "wrong" with me, I'm totally fine, because i allow myself to be. Life is so much more peaceful when you don't got a bitch in your ear telling you things you already know!!!! Telling you to shave and look more lady-like!!! I think I'm winning tbh :3 Oh I don't look like a perfect soft-to-the-touch skin "not a hair in sight" girl? Sexcellent.

[fluttershys-lament]

how do i tell my friend she needs professional help without her getting mad at me??

[opossumconvert]

Oop yeah I should've given more context my bad.

Basically the facts of last week were

The service was specifically called the New Member Shabbat

It celebrated people who became members (donators I think?) and the students of the intro to judaism class

There was also an emphasis on this one teen because his bar mitzvah was going to be the next day

There was food and stuff after the service, all in celebration of the kid

People were very chill and friendly and were fine with my questions

I got friendly with a guy who works in the synagogue's office

A woman who was the first person to approach me was curious about my attendance, genuinely invested in the answers, and showed me the challah board and informed me that you can literally just take a chunk out of the challah. Also when she went to chat with some friends she came back for a second and apologized for being rude :') I told her it wasn't rude and I was perfectly alright and she's nice and then I went to look at some art.

While yesterday was

Service wasn't dedicated to anything specific but a woman there is gonna be 85 soon so there was a lot about that

Lower attendance, which makes sense I was sorta expecting it

The big thing that made me confused and disappointed was that I was brave enough to sit a few rows ahead from the very back, which is brave by my standards. I'm sitting on the edge seat so obviously if people wanted to get through I'd have to stand, which I was perfectly fine with. Two older ladies come in and they're looking around my general area for somewhere to sit, like they're obviously trying to decide, some other people are already going "How many of you will there be? Four? Yeah we might be able to fit four over here--" and so I spoke up and said "I can always move too if you guys would like to come into here" while gesturing at the rest of my row, because it was practically empty. Lady #1 ignores me entirely but Lady #2 gave me this very weirdly judgemental look and didn't say a word.

When it was time to shake hands with people and say shabbat shalom 10 minutes into the service I did it with two people, but in case it wasn't obvious I am NOT a socially confident person so I was very obviously nervous and quiet as a result, and I knew that my awkwardness was making the people around me feel awkward as a direct result.

Another teen was given a shoutout because his bar mitzvah is sometime in the near future and he came up to read a prayer/song I can't remember which one it was.

When the service ended I hovered around for a moment to at least wait for the challah to be brought out, some people dipped immediately but others were hovering around too and talking to each other, but I very much got the vibe that trying to engage would Not Go Well so I just stuffed a small hunk of challah in my mouth and went on my way.

It's one of those things where on paper it's practically nothing, but the massive differences gave me whiplash. Like yeah it won't be as social because there isn't a bar mitzvah the next day, but the fact that a majority of the reactions to me were negative sucked. I did nothing other than offering to move to let those ladies through, trying to be semi-normal while greeting people, and doing all the prayers and songs with everybody else; I really don't know what I could've done.

The only explanation I can come up with is that last week's Shabbat was the one where all the awesome people showed up while this week's Shabbat had some rude older people, a bunch of introverts just as terrified of socialization as I am, and a guy wearing a Trump kippah. If anybody's got any other possible I'd love to hear them.

Quick question what do you do when your first erev shabbat service at a temple is awesome and then the next one is just you vibing until other people start giving you judgemental stares for having the audacity to say words to them??? Like what's the protocol for people doing a 180 in terms of acceptance of strangers

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Just got back from L&T. Thoughts under the cut. But first, a pic of my girl (sorry, I mean, Your Majesty 👑):

So I have a few negatives to talk about but let's start with the positives.

The scene with Thor and Zeus when he's trying to convince him to join him against Gorr reminded me so much of his talk with Odin in TDW. At some point I thought they were trying to draw some parallels... but honestly I don't know if it's just me seeing things when there's nothing. Either way, I liked it.

Thor's speech to the kids towards the end was touching.

Val handling King duties and enjoying it was lovely to see.

Jane explaining the Einstein-Rosen bridge while under chemo. She was never boring and that enthusiasm is contagious. "You just destroyed your book!" - "Yeah! But now you understand wormholes!". She's lovely and I'll miss her.

Heimdall! My beloved. Only for 10 seconds but hey, I'll take whatever they give me, I love that man. Shorter hair too!

And this is something between a positive and a negative: I like that Thor said to Quill something in the lines of (I'm paraphrasing here): "You have a team that cares for each other, I never had that". I actually liked it because from what we've seen in the movies he had 4 friends who seemed to follow him and look up to him but we never saw him having a deep conversation with them, to me they were more party/battle friends than anything and Thor always stroked me as a very lonely person despite being a prince. Not to mention the Avengers never truly showed any interest, let alone compassion, especially in EG. So that line is interesting to keep in the movie...... that is, if you do something with it. But they just had him say it then ignored it for the rest of the movie. It's such a lost opportunity. Imagine Thor shit-talking the Avengers and setting the record straight after EG... if only.

Now, the negatives.

I don't understand all this talk about worthiness. If Ragnarok was supposed to teach Thor and the audience anything is that being worthy is utterly meaningless! Lifting Mjolnir was always entirely subjective, reliant on a bunch of rules dictated by a deeply flawed character like Odin. Thor is supposed to know he doesn't need that hammer or the axe or anybody's approval. He's the golden child, if he doesn't learn that then his arc keeps going in circles, and round and round it goes. It makes no sense.

I can't believe 2 movies in since she was introduced and my girl Val does not get a name. I appreciate people calling her Val but surely she's got a name, right? And her horse? I'll say this though: I don't remember them giving him a name but I'm grateful, if they call him anything but Aragorn my URL is truly fucked 😜

Why bring Sif back? She's the LAST connection Thor has to his old life. I was so happy to see her again since I genuinely thought he was going to lose it or they were gonna have some chat or something, but nah, they share one scene that's eerily similar to Thor 1 and they're good to go.

Once again character development is done in a rushed one-minute sequence. I watch these movies because I care about these characters, if that means you add 25 minutes to the damn movie then do so. If that means you cut a few fights then do so.

Thor realizing he wants and needs love is nice but giving him a kid is not the way to go, that's giving him someone to care for when he should be caring ABOUT AND FOR HIMSELF.

What kind of relationships does he have with Val and the others? A bunch of scenes with the Guardians and all I saw were screams and nothing more when that team is more a family than anything else, they wouldn't go about it like the Avengers (battle together then each member goes their own way), the Guardians care.

I would have wanted to see how the Asgardians are adapting to Earth or a bit more from New Asgard. Jane gets a statue, that's cool, no statues for anybody else though?

Oh the """queer rep""".... we were told she would look for her Queen but of course that didn't happen, I wish I could say I'm surprised but I'm not. And she doesn't even get to say anything, it's Korg who says "girlfriend" and leaves it at that? You know what, it's far worse to have this, I'd rather not have anything. If this is as far as they're willing to go please STOP. Everyone is straight, that's easier to digest.

Also, it's so fucking annoying to see people erasing her identity and saying she's a lesbian. No she isn't, Valkyrie is bisexual. We have enough bi erasure as it is, don't contribute to it.

And speaking of my girl... where the fuck is her arc? She gets no story, her pegasus is only on screen a couple times, she seems to be enjoying being a King so why not show that and how she's growing from being a warrior raised to kill to becoming someone trustworthy who loves her people and learns the humans' rules so she can defend them? Also she's still not redeemed, she has never said anything about how she feels after being raised to kill and commit genocide, how she felt about Odin (when Gorr was telling her I was almost begging! for her to speak up). I will admit I jumped when she was stabbed though. I may have a weird definitely non-healthy attachment to her lol

The problem about introducing new and powerful cities and weapons while Feige keeps parroting all that bs about "connected universe" is that it makes previous movies absolutely useless. So Thor knew about Omnipotent City? Why not go there in IW instead of Nidavellir then? Once you open the portal to Eternity why not kill Gorr and ask for anything...

Gorr the God Butcher who's shown on-screen killing the crazy amount of......... one god in the entire movie. So much for butchering.

"Lady Thor", "the name is Mighty Thor or Dr Jane Foster", I knew she was going to say that. Way too forced. You want feminism, Marvel? Flesh out the female characters and stop giving them the suits and powers of their male counterparts.

And lastly, what Mjolnir means to Thor. What that hammer represents is his past, his family, the time when stability was ensured and he had everything he wished for, back in the day when he didn't know the lies and what was hiding underneath the golden palace and his father's machinations. His attachment to Mjolnir in reality what it hides is his subconscious desire to go back to that time, which is exactly why he should despise that hammer! Not through hate for Hela but disappointment and anger towards his father.

All I keep seeing in these movies is Thor not growing up or out of his golden child status and I HATE IT. And it seems the only way they know to make characters "grow" is by giving them a romance or a kid... these characters need self-love, how is it possible that these writers and directors don't understand that familial, romantic, etc love is not the same as self-love? That you can have a million people who love you and still not love yourself?

Overall this is clearly the worst Thor movie for me, worse than Ragnarok, and I give it a 4/10 and I'm being generous (3,5 of those are for Val 😂). I still love Thor though, there are.... flashes of his old self and while short they remind me why I've always been a big fan of his.

Thor honey, you deserve so much more than this.

[autumnslance]

I noticed you doing character bingos again! I’d like to see one for Zenos if possible. I had fun with him in Stormblood, but found that joy to drowned with how he was handled in Endwalker. By the end I just wanted to be done with that monster. If the game had let me walk away without fighting him, like he suggested, I would have.

Wild, we're about the opposite; I disliked Zenos a great deal in Stormblood--he was bloody useless and an annoyance out of nowhere--while I feel they finally figured him out and mostly hit their stride with him in Endwalker, as he gave up pretending to care about military and political matters and became the wandering blood knight he actually is.

Almost got a bingo, but let's be real; I always have too much to say about major characters.

I also won't say anything negative about folks' WoLships, which are by far the most popular Zenos pairing; folks have their fun and they're welcome to it. But fandom is a good chunk of the issue with Zenos. One either loves him or hates him, and both sides tend to take it to extremes and flanderize / mischaracterize the man rather than dealing with the canon portrayal.

In my opinion, he's not that deep. Yes I have read "The Hunt Begins" thank you I own a copy of Chronicles of Light. It told us nothing new about his history and personality, just gave us a glimpse of where he started to find his focus, exactly as the title tells us. The thing is, Zenos doesn't have to be "deep" (whatever one means by that) to be compelling and do his job as a character in the story. Given his straightforward viewpoints, especially in EW as he gives an answer to Hermes' questions, Zenos himself might scoff at the need to find hidden depth of meaning to his personality and existence.

I've also said somewhere, probably my other big Zenos write-up, that he's not quite tragic, though there's tragedy all around and through him. He chooses to not deal with it in any fashion, a creature of the present entirely.

I think he needed a better introduction, seeded over the HW patches, even just in discussion and rumors if we still didn't see him until that patch 3.55 shot. I think he should have done something in StB other than be a "lose the fight the right way" plot checkpoint and just handing Doma and Ala Mhigo back to the heroes without having to really work for them.

I really think a massive part of the dissatisfaction many folks have with StB's story is that the victories are hollow after so much misery in those lands, who are then each shorted due to sharing the expansion. And a lot of that comes down to the misuse of Zenos, whose attributes are mostly told to us as he sleeps on the throne and bullies his underlings. For a supposedly brilliant man, we never see it in his military strategies, and he's played handily by Fandaniel, who knew just how to pull Zenos's strings.

So yeah. I was ready to be done with him in EW; "In From the Cold" is horrifying but I see it more as Fandaniel's scheme that Zenos goes all into. My WoL stopped caring about Zenos the moment trial 1 ended and Fandaniel's scheme became clear. I eye rolled whenever Zenos came back onscreen, though I think the scene in Garlemald with Jullus and Alisaie were good for him and lead directly into the finale.

I know what I just wrote and that I checked "too much screentime" but honestly he got a shade too little in EW. I DID dread/expect some kinda 11th hour teamup, though the "how" made me laugh incredulously. It worked in its weird way.

The final fight he still didn't understand my WoL but she was done and wanted to make sure it was finally over and he wouldn't darken her door or threaten anyone again. The solo duel is not unknown in other FF games, and I rather enjoyed it and the final punch-out at the end as they exhausted themselves entirely.

Mileage varies, depending on one's WoL, feelings on Zenos, and on that tropey duel of mirrored characters. I've also already spoken to the gripes about him being truly gone per Word of God and while one can do whatever one wants in fanfic, there's a lot of reason it does, in fact, work to leave his corpse at the edge of the universe and I'm OK with it. His part in the story, and how that affects Assumed Default Warrior of Light's self-understanding, is complete.

Like the Ascians, he's done. Interested to see what's up with his Avatar, since we also got nothing on his being a Reaper (could have used more on that too!!) as we move into the 6.x patches and build up of the next arc.

[dragonbugsuperior]

Adrien's Manipulation and How He Manipulates

As you can see, I have spoken about the things the ml writers have done and attempted to get away with however I never dug deep into how manipulative Adrien is and how he has manipulated people. I have provided real transcripts from the episodes. You can look it up yourself they're there for everyone to see.

In Malediktator (season 2, episode 24) Chloe threatens to leave Paris, Mr. Bourgeois gets akumatized into Maledikator; invested with absolute power, he wants to make his daughter's dreams come true so that she stays with him. In the episode, Chloe announces that she's leaving Paris to the entire school and the students are thrilled. They were celebrating the fact that their school bully was leaving Paris. Including Marinette, who was also relieved to know her bully/tormentor was leaving Paris. The same girl who's been bullying Marinette for years.

Here's some real transcripts from the actual episodes

Chloé: (from the helicopter, through megaphone) Hey there, losers! I'm headed to New York with my mom. (throws flyers) I'm leaving you all behind in your pathetic little school and your pathetic little city. Adieu!

(Marinette picks up a flyer showing Chloé in front of the Statue of Liberty.)

Nino: Chloé's leaving?

Nathaniel: Forever?

Marinette: Looks like it.

Alya: Yeah.

(Everyone jumps in the air out of happiness; confetti appears out of thin air and there are fireworks for no reason at all. Everyone, including Mr. Damocles, dances and parties.)

Marinette: Without Chloé around, Paris will be filled with a lot less negative emotion!

Tikki: And less akumatizations.

(Adrien walks up to Marinette from behind.)

Adrien: Hey, what’s going on here? What are we celebrating?

Marinette: Chloé’s gone! She’s moving to New York!

Adrien: Chloé left…? For good?

Marinette: (still excited, not realizing that Adrien is not sharing everyone else’s enthusiasm) Yeah! Isn’t it great?

Adrien: Uh… no. I think it’s terrible! How can you celebrate a thing like that?

There

There's the manipulation. Adrien guilts Marinette for being happy that her tormentor is gone. He guilts her for being relieved to know that her school bully is leaving Paris. Not only did he make Marinette feel guilty for feeling the way that she did. But the episode also deems Marinette as if she's selfish for feeling glad that Chloe is gone. While Adrien completely invalidates Marinette's feelings, and does not take into consideration that Chloe has bullied and made Marinette's life a living hell for years. Adrien knows Chloe has been bullying Marinette for years and instead of letting her feel happy that her bully is gone he guilts her and shames her saying that she shouldn't be celebrating something like that. Not contemplating the fact that Marinette has been bullied, shamed, taunted, and tormented for years. All because Chloe's his childhood friend and she was his only friend. He continues to support Chloe, and guit-trips Marinette for being happy that her life-long bully is finally leaving, because he doesn’t care about how Chloe torments everyone in the class or how she’s literally abusing Sabrina, all he cares about is how her leaving affects him.

In Glaciator Chat Noir imposes a date with Ladybug.

Transcript

Cat Noir: So, uh, Ladybug? What would you say if you and I met up tonight for a little dinner? Rooftop style?

Ladybug: For dinner? As superheroes?

Cat Noir: Well, uh, yeah. That's right. We're only together when we're saving Paris. I mean, wouldn't you actually like to get to know one another?

Ladybug: I... That's so thoughtful of you, but I can't. I have to, uh, I already have plans with some friends.

Bus driver: (steps out of the bus and shakes hands with Cat Noir) Thank you. (shakes Ladybug's hand) Thank you, Ladybug.

Cat Noir: Well, if your plans end early, come and join me.

Ladybug: We'll see.

Cat Noir: I'll be waiting, my lady.

(Ladybug uses her yo-yo and leaves. Cat Noir smiles at her for a moment before he leaves too)

Ladybug tells Chat Noir that she has plans with friends, Chat Noir still insists that she comes if her plans end early. Ladybug never says yes to him nor does she confirm she will show up while he says he'll be waiting.

Alya, Nino, Marinette, and Adrien were planning on having a date together, Adrien lies to his friends and tells them that his father said he couldn't go. Actively upsetting them and ruining their date, because 'Oh! Poor Adrien couldn't make it!. The thing is-

Adrien could have made it.

He himself, chose not to.

He didn't even inform his father about going out with friends.

Adrien never mentions going out with friends to Gabriel. He never tells Nathalie nor the Gorilla anything just so he could prepare a date with Ladybug, who also never confirmed she was going on the date.

[Next transcript is very important to read]

(Adrien sighs before he takes out his phone to text Nino. He then checks the time)

Nathalie: There's no point in waiting for your father, Adrien. He'll be eating in his office.

Adrien: (stands up from his chair, quietly angry) Then what's the point of keeping me here if he's never gonna show up, Nathalie? (walks away to go to his room)

Nathalie: Don't forget to practice your piano before you go to bed.

He doesn't tell Nathalie or Gabriel. He tells Nino that he won't be able to make it because his father wouldn't allow him to, yet Adrien didn't even see Gabriel because he was in his office the entire time.

Scene: Adrien's room.

Plagg: You could've at least grabbed the piece of Camembert on that platter!

Adrien: (tosses a piece of Camembert to Plagg and he catches it) Fuel up, Plagg. (He turns on some piano music from his phone. He then places the phone on top of the real piano) Adrien may not be allowed out of the house, but Cat Noir is!

Adrien's off to his date with Ladybug, which she never agreed that she would come, lying to his friends and telling them that his father wouldn't let him go out with them.

Plagg: You seem in a hurry to get stood up.

Adrien: She didn't say she wasn't coming.

Plagg: But she didn't say she was either!

This is also important to take in mind, it doesn't matter if she didn't say wasn't coming, she also didn't say she was coming like Plagg said. She told him she had plans with her friends.

Scene: Trocadéro. Marinette meets up with her friends

Marinette: Hey, Alya!

Alya: Hey, Marinette! (Both she and Marinette kisses each other's cheeks)

Marinette: Where's Adrien?

Alya: Don't get upset, okay? But Nino just got a text. Adrien's dad isn't letting him go out.

Again, Adrien tells Nino his dad won't let him go out. Lying and upsetting his friends, which automatically makes them feel bad because they're poor friend can't come out with them.

Marinette: Once again...

Nino: Yo, Marinette!

Ivan: What's up, M?

Mylène: How are you, Marinette?

Marinette: I'm fine. Thanks. Hehe. So, do you know where André is today?

Later in the episode, they have patrol

And this is what Chat Noir says to Ladybug

Ladybug: Hello, Kitty. Did the bad guys leave you cold?

Cat Noir: (harsh and enraged) How was your amazing evening with your "friends"?

(Ladybug looks confused at Cat Noir, shocked by her partner's harsh words. But she gasps when she hears Glaciator's voice.)

He gets passive aggressive and sarcastic with her. He's angry because she didn't show up to a date she never agreed to going on.

[Transcript]

Ladybug: Are you mad at me because I didn't show up?

Cat Noir: (furious) What do you think?

Ladybug: I didn't mean to hurt you.

(Glaciator jumps over them and continues walking. Ladybug and Cat Noir take shelter behind a car)

Cat Noir: And I also had a surprise for you, too!

Ladybug: I really am sorry.

Cat Noir: No... I'm the one who's sorry. Maybe another time.

Ladybug feels bad for not showing up. Ladybug shouldn't have to apologize for not showing up. She never agreed to going on the date and Chat Noir knows that. He knows she had plans with her friends and guilts her because apparently she didn't show up to a date she never intended on going on. While he was the one who gave her the cold shoulder the entire time they were fighting off Glaciator and acted like a 5 year old child.

The blatant manipulation

Chat Noir guilts Ladybug because she didn't show up to a date she never agreed that she would go on. Resulting in her feeling bad and apologizing to him as if she said she'll go. She never confirms she'll make it. She tells him she has plans with friends and they'll see. That doesn't equate to yes. Adrien lies to his friends and tells them he won't be able to make it because his father wouldn't let him go out, meanwhile Adrien never tells Gabriel anything about going out with friends.

In Syren

Adrien gets tired of all the secrets Ladybug had to keep from him and threatens to quit. Blackmailing Plagg threatening to quit as a superhero if Plagg doesn't tell him what secret Ladybug's been hiding from him.

[Transcript]

Adrien: (imitating Ladybug) Hey, Cat Noir, do you trust me? (as himself) Sure, Ladybug; do you trust me, too? (as Ladybug) Are you kidding? I will never trust you! Ha ha ha ha! (normally, to Plagg) You must know what Ladybug's hiding from me, Plagg.

Plagg: I'm just a kwami, Adrien, and we kwamis have a right to remain silent.

Adrien: Pity. (gets out his phone) Just when I was about to order you some very tasty cheese. Have you ever sampled La Trappe d'Échourgnac? It says here it tastes like walnuts.

Plagg: (swallows some Camembert) I can't be swayed, sorry.

He bribes Plagg with cheese to get information out of him about Ladybug

Cat Noir: Wait! Where're you going?

Ladybug: (hesitantly) I can't.

Cat Noir: (disappointedly) Say anything. Yeah, I know. But we are a team, aren't we? (turns away from Ladybug) I'm tired of all these secrets.

Ladybug: I'm sorry. It's not exactly easy for me either, trust me. (she leaps away while Cat Noir turns to see her leaving him)

(Cat Noir sits down on the roof to wait for Ladybug to return.)

He himself admits that he knows she can't tell him anything. He knows she's under restrictions and he pulls this.

Cat Noir: This is so dumb! (stands up) Claws in. (detransforms)

Plagg: (groans) What's taking her so long? (Adrien holds up his hands to Plagg, and starts to pull off his ring a little bit) Whoa, easy! W-What are you doing?!

Adrien: (grimly) If you don't tell me what Ladybug is hiding from me, I'm done!

Plagg: You can't do that!

Adrien: (bitterly) Why not? No one'll know if I quit. No one'll care!

Plagg: I will!

He blackmails Plagg, and threatens to let millions of people drown just because he wants to know a secret he isn't worthy of knowing.

[Transcript for Frozer]

In Frozer he gets rejected for the hundredth time

Ladyice: Cat Noir. We need to set up a trap for whoever turned the city into a giant ice rink. (throws yo-yo)

Icecat: (bitterly) My feline instincts prefer to track and observe before I attack. You go your way, I'll go mine.

Ladyice: Please don't tell me you're mad at me about the rose.

Icecat: There may be a certain chill now between us.

Ladyice: I get it, but we should really focus on saving Paris

Icecat: We don't always have to do everything together, after all. It's not like we're a couple. (skates away)

Ladyice: Cat Noir, don't get all pouty on me! (groans and takes off on her yo-yo)

(Ladyice and Icecat separately search for Frozer)

Icecat: (notices Frozer's skate marks on the ice) This way.

Ladyice: I need to set a trap, but what could I use as bait? (while Ladyice thinks, Frozer prepares to sneak up behind her, but Icecat spots him attempting to do so and pulls Ladyice out of harm's way)

Ladyice: Thanks, Kitty.

(Icecat winks)

Once again, he makes her feel guilty for turning him down for the millionth time in a row as if he doesn't know she's in love with someone else. Acting like an asshole the entire time they fight off Frozer.

In Copyat, Chat Noir arrives at a ceremony.

Scene: The Place des Vosges. The ceremony has just ended.

Cat Noir: These statues are amazing. One thing's slightly off though— I'm actually taller than Ladybug.

Théo: Ladybug didn't show up. I just wanted to express my adoration for her. Let her know that everything I had went into her statue. I'm sure if she took a little time to get to know me, she would see how much we have in common. Our devotion to the things we love.

Cat Noir: Hey, don't mean to burst your bubble, but you know, Ladybug and me, we're a thing, you know?

Théo: Really?

Cat Noir: Yeah, we're like this. (crosses his fingers)

Théo: (growls; walks away angrily) What does Ladybug see in him?

He lies to Theo about the relationship he has with Ladybug leaving Theo angry causing him to become akumatized.

Cat Noir: Better help the fellow out. His crush just got crushed. (under his breath, as he leaves) That makes two of us.

Théo: Ugh... What am I doing here? Ladybug?

Ladybug: I'm sorry I couldn't make it this morning, Théo.

Théo: Can you autograph it for me?

Ladybug: Of course I can! You've got some real artistry here. You've really captured my essence.

Théo: Thank you, Ladybug. And don't worry. I know about you and Cat Noir. It's okay.

Ladybug: Huh?

Ladybug is left to apologize to Theo and deal with the rest. Theo tells her not to worry, he knows about her and Chat Noir to which she reacts with utter confusion. Chat Noir lied to Theo, causing his akumatization not even facing consequences at the end nor apologizing to Theo, instead Marinette does all the work while being left confused.

Adrien is a lying, manipulative, and conniving person. He has manipulated his friends, Plagg, and Marinette. This is not okay

And the writers portray it to be while making Marinette look bad

[rainbowangel110]

School day over here's the review! (I wrote this on the bus)

Some classes are from last semester but two are diffrent

First period

• We're on our mineral unit and our teacher showed us a bunch of minerals and some pink granite. He said that you shouldn't put anything near your mouth or eyes as some of the elements in them could burn you. He then proceeded to lick some rock salt. I know it's safe but still.

Second period

• We mostly talked about our holidays. And then he told us to write down our grievances, anything in reason, doesn't matter if it's personal or not, and then make an unreasonable solution for it. He got the idea from Seinfeld. I wrote personal stuff, like how it's a little difficult planning your future and how art block sucks. I also wrote that that arophobes still being a thing is awful and they should go to jail. Oh and the economy sucks cuz hard workers (my dad) sometimes don't get paid enough. I know it sounds weird but look he's a cool teacher.

Third period

• Statistics! Teacher told me I got a 74 on the final which is the highest raw score I've gotten ever and I genuinely wanted to pop off right there, hell yeah I deserve that. He's really nice and helps me whenever the going gets tough. Negative was that I threw out all my paperwork from last semester cuz I didn't want that burden anymore and he said we needed an old test cuz we haven't finished chapter 4 so uh hahaha 🙃 fuck

Fourth period

• FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND HELLO OLD FRIEND HOW ARE YOU!!! Also it's digital art :) anyways FRIEND!! I showed her my OC journal or at least the title page I made (finished the sketch now gonna color it (you'll see the sketch soon!!)) We regularly talk about our characters, she's really sweet.

Fifth period

• First new class, teacher seems really nice, can't wait to see what we have in store. Small surprise was the fact that the fistbump-highfive dude was in it as well. Okay so this guy, he basically walks around fistbump-highfives everyone asking how they're doing and how it's going and it's sweet. He's a little loud but it's alright.

Sixth period

• Another new class but lol the teacher wasn't here so we just sat around "doing" our work. There was a sub but she didn't really care. Work is due Friday which should be alright, teacher sent out a message she'll be back Monday (she got sick :()

Seventh period

Smaller class (got swapped from 5th to 7th) still going good. But oh my god the girl I sat next to. What the fuck man. She was drawing and I swear to go it was so GOOD!!! She had these two books for references to body portions and poses and stuff and wow the work she was doing. My god you just had to be there. I didn't take a pic cuz that would be a little weird, but wow.

First day of the second semester hell yeah let's go let's not have a repeat of the last one we got this

[gralunaisland]

Yknow, that 100yq screencap reminds me of something infuriating about 100yq-- the fact that Edolas Gruvia is not only a thing, but it's on a "we have a child" level.

Honestly. I would accept the shitty Gruvia in the main story if someone held a gun to my head, but I would never accept it for their Edolas versions. They had even less chemistry and setup than their Earth versions, and somehow, in seven years, semi-girlboss Edo Juvia (who took NO shit from stalker Edo Gray, last we saw her,) is now just a meek little sweet wifey to her barely characterised former creep husband. I do not understand why that happened. They just wanted to massacre everything about Edolas for the sake of giving us some coupling and I hate it so much. At least Edolas NaLu had some setup during the Edolas arc. (Edolucy blushing at Natsu being bold, for example) but Edolas Gruvia just became canon in 100yq because Mashima wanted people to squeal about a forced "GRUVIA LOVECHILD".

Also, Natsu and Gray spend most of that arc just fighting over comparing 'their kids' and I wanted to bash my head against the table.

I'm sorry for ranting. I'm just so angry about it because we waited so long to finally see the Edolas gang again, only for Mashima to use it for cringey OOC ship fanservice instead of the genuine reunions we wanted to see.

Feel free to rant all you want, my friend, this is a safe place for discussion and tirades, goodness knows I do it all the time myself!

I love to hear what people have to say about these things; from rants to questions, it opens many new insights, so never apologize for it!

I've gotta say I'm a bit different from you in the fact that I hate Earthland gr///via much worse than Edolas gr///via (which I’m sure surprises no one because what in FT could I hate more than gr///via?) but now that you mention it, I had especial reason to hate the Edo version too.

As you said, Earthland gr///via, as despicable as it is, unfortunately does make more sense than Edo gr///via because they had a lot of build-up and "moments" thanks to Mashima's garbage writing.

Really, Edo gr///via never made sense to me either, especially after I heard they had a kid a long time ago. Because if I'm remembering correctly, Edo Gray was just a namby-pamby wimp who wore too much and sniveled over Edo juvia, and Edo juvia was a grumpy sourpuss who told him she would only date him if he wore less clothes, so there really was negative chemistry between them.

For Edo juvia to date Gray on the basis only that he didn't bundle up so much? Noooot very romantic. For Edo Gray to keep up being slobbery over her? Alsoooo not very romantic. Really gross in fact.

I've had the luck to not see much of their Edo children yet, nor of their Edo coupling so I'll take your word for it that Edo juvia also turned mushy gushy, which sounds just so uncharacteristic of herself, and I assume Edo Gray stayed namby-pamby.

I guess we really shouldn't be surprised anymore that Mashima doesn't give his characters growth very much; he makes them devolve more often than not.

You're right that the Edo NaLu had a much better build-up. I don't really care that they paired up since of course, the Edolas stuff shouldn't be reflecting Earthland stuff anyway as they're each their own separate realms (though I'm sure NaLu and gr///via stans have just been freaking out over it), but the Edo gr///via thing is just a travesty of writing.

I love how you said he only coupled Edo gr///via to make the "gR///VIA LOVECHILD" because, yeah, I'm totally convinced that's the only reason why, to throw a bone to the rabid gr///via fandom, not because the Edo version was a good healthy couple. Honestly, Earthland and Edolas gr///via are just so cursed and should've never been conceived, just like the Edo gr///via kid. -_-

Man, I'd want to bash my head too if I had to read Gray and Natsu actually being possessive over kids that aren't even theirs. That's just creepy. Doesn't matter that they look like the Edo versions, they're all completely different people.

It's so sad too because I love the Edolas arc, the first one of course. It's just a fun one with mystery and exploration and adventure, and the biggest plus is Earthland juvia IS NOT IN IT. But then of course, Mashima has to ruin that as one of my only havens and shove gr///via in it as well.

I'm very disappointed that he didn't handle this 100yq arc better too, Anon, and I am very sorry that it's affected you so harshly. The OG Edolas arc and cast deserved a better reunion, especially after such a tearful goodbye the first time.

Do better, Mashima.

[mashup-writing]

If only you were here; Hwang Yeji (ITZY)

--------------------------------------------------

Summary: Yeji was the leader, she couldn't afford to be seen being anything less than perfect for the role. No crying, being sad, or feeling any kind of negativity. But she's only human, and being human means letting your emotions run through you.

Requested? ☒

"Miles away from seeing you."

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

She was exhausted. Today's schedule was nothing but hectic, from interviews to filming for music videos. All Yeji had wanted to do was be with her girlfriend, to have her take away the stress, to run her fingers through her hair, to hold her like doing so was the only thing keeping her together. But with Y/N visiting her hometown? The best she could do was a facetime.

She loved her job, her members, and their MIDZYs. She really does. But sometimes the high life takes more from you than it gives. Lately her girls have been facing prejudiced hate from a bunch of ruthless people online. Lia was being branded as "Lazy" and it made the leader's blood boil, among all five of them Lia was the one who spends the most time in the practice room, especially when she has trouble with some of the choreography. She remembers a memory of theirs that included Lia almost passing out of exhaustion in the practice room, Yeji herself wasn't enough to pull the pale and sluggish girl out of there. If Yuna's maturity and hidden stern-ness hadn't reared their heads then she has no doubt that Lia would've ended up in a hospital bed.

Chaeryeong is under fire for "Being Ugly" and all Yeji could do was scoff at the stupidity of the false accusation. Despite Yeji being Y/N's girlfriend, Chaeryeong was the latter's bias. This information had her shocked, Chaeryeong smug, and worst of all: It gave Ryujin a field day. Which resulted in getting the other three members in on teasing her. "Anyone who catches Y/N's eye is fucking beautiful" she mutters to herself. Not to toot her own horn but Y/N has an eye not only for gorgeous looking people, most times those she ends up liking are great people with great personalities. Your ex, Ahn Hyejin of Mamamoo is a damn great example of that.

Another one of her members under fire is Yuna, the baby of their new little family. Knets had a field day when it was found out that the Maknae wasn't originally planned to become a part of ITZY. Jumping on the chance to poke at the youngest's insecurity, thry took to saying that she wasn't good enough to be with them, much less have debuted at all. That's bullshit, and she won't leave room for argument. Yuna is the glue that holds them together, the friend that they can't imagine not having even when they've been a group for less than a year. She stands up to Yeji without being disrespectful when the leader is being too strict or controlling. She pulls Lia out of her workaholic state whenever it starts to become detrimental instead of beneficial. She is the one carrying Ryujin's ass whenever the latter thinks her dad jokes are funny. She's the one to calm Chaeryeong down backstage whenever the latter is feeling nervous, anxious or on the verge of a breakdown.

Ryujin's a reliable friend through and through, but if the fate of the world was decided by the rapper's ability to tell a funny joke? Yeji bets that they all would've died ages ago, she's better at joking around with actions than she is with words. Which leads to some people labeling some of Ryujin's actions as "Bullying". Yeji admits to herself that, yes. To the untrained eye it does seem as if Ryujin's the type, she has the face of a villain when she wants to look intimidating after all. But the rapper is also the softest person she has ever known in her life, testified by the one time they had a pillow fight in the dorm. In the heat of the moment, Ryujin's slipper got thrown and it knocked a Lizard dead off their wall. The pillow fight abruptly ended with four members trying to make her feel less guilty over the critter's untimely death.

Lia interjected that had the moment been captured on camera, some MIDZYs would be making a meme of how they'd like to be that "Lucky" lizard. Ryujin cried harder, because the lizard was not at all "Lucky" in her opinion.

--------------------------------------------------

Yeji was so lost in her own thoughts and so fatigued that she didn't even realize that she had finished changing from her performance outfit to the clothes she wore before clocking in for work. It was only when she had closed the door to her dorm room did she realize how tired she actually was. She was thankful she had been given her own room instead of bunking with someone else again, she's not too sure she could make it up in a bunk bed if she was still roommates with someone.

She crashes onto the bed and pulls out her phone. Most days she would get some shut eye and just facetime her girlfriend in the morning, but at the moment she thinks she'll end up in a mental ward if she goes another second without hearing her Y/N speak. So despite the fact that she can't feel her legs anymore and that her eyelids are growing heavier by the second, she calls.

Ring

Ring

Ring

--------------------------------------------------

Ring

Ring

Ring

You're pulled from the coziest and most comfortable sleep you've fallen into for the night by a constant ringing. You rub your eyes and turn towards your nightstand where your phone is located. "Who in their right fucking mind would be calling at this hour?" You grab your phone and the caller photo snaps you out of your mood before you even see the caller's name.

You hurriedly turn on your lamp on the nightstand and then proceeded to hit answer. "YEJ- whoa, not that I'm unhappy to see you but you look like you should be asleep instead. You look tired as hell Yej. Did you eat yet? How about water? Please stay away from dehydration and be sure to drink regularly." Yeji smiles at you, with her eyes drooping every now and then. "Yeah, I should be asleep but I just missed you so much I couldn't sleep without seeing you first."

You sit up and lean against the head board instead of laying down, your worry increasing tenfold. "What's wrong?" Yeji knows how to prioritize her health first and she never calls you half asleep because she had always claimed that you deserved nothing less than her full attention. She never calls you half asleep unless she's alarmingly close to losing her composure. Her eyes widen as soon as the question leaves your mouth, and a sniffle makes its way through the line. She burried her face in her arm and struggles with wanting to tell you and wanting to fake being strong with you.

You sense the dilemma within your girl and you refuse to let her carry this alone. "Hey, I'd never force you to spill. But I am always gonna be here to listen to your troubles. I already know how strong you are, you've got nothing more to prove. Let it out and I'll be here to support you." Yeji's resolve crumbles and she cries as she tells you everything that's been weighing her down today. She cries because of the unfairness of it all, she cries about how she can't protect her girls, she cries about how she wants nothing more than to wrap them up in a hug and not let go until they're all better but the girls just like their leader want to seem strong and untouchable for each other.

Yeji cries about how she wishes she was with you instead of working, she cries about how guilty she feels for sometimes wishing that they never had to go through the unfairness that the idol life had to offer, she cries about how she feels like she's disappointing the MIDZYs for feeling as she feels. She cries because it's just the start of their journey and she's already so tired. She cries because it's the only way she knows how to get rid of the stress, even if it's just a temporary solution.

What hurts you the most is that she doesn't look at you as she says this. You're a MIDZY after being Yeji's girlfriend and it you don't miss the way she chokes up even more when she said she feels like she's disappointing the fandom. You let your girlfriend let it all out before taking a moment to pull yourself together, and then you speak.

"I can't and I won't tell you that I understand how you feel as an Idol because I'm not one. But as a MIDZY, I can and I will tell you that you were born to be the leader of ITZY, no one else could step up to that role as well as you do even if they tried. Tell the girls I told you to let the haters run their mouths, because we MIDZYs know that each and every one of you brings something special to the table. ITZY isn't ITZY if it doesn't have Hwang Yeji, Choi Jisu, Shin Ryujin, Lee Chaeryeong and Shin Yuna as the members. You girls are a fucking unit and you are all strong enough to knock those bitches speechless."

You stare at Yeji the whole time and notice that although her body has stopped shaking, her tears are still making their way down her cheeks. You take in every detail of her face and wish with everything within you that you were there with her to wipe her tears and hold her close. In your opinion, words aren't enough but you suppose due to the distance between you two that you've gotta work with what you have at the moment. Right now all you have are feelings and words.

"Now as your girlfriend." Yeji's head adjusts enough that you could see half of her face, but the other half still remains buried in her arm. "I'm telling you that you can never disappoint me." She chuckles in humor before turning her gaze away from her phone. "You don't know that, I'm not perfect-"

"I never said you were."

Silence sits between the two of you. Not once in your whole relationship had you intentionally interrupted Yeji when she was speaking, you strongly believed that everyone deserved a chance to speak their piece. But that had exceptions. Such as now. "I never said you were perfect, because you're not. You're human and you have your flaws but believe me when I say that you could never disappoint me, despite the fact that humans weren't designed to be perfect you still work on yourself everyday trying to polish all the rough edges, trying to better yourself not for anyone or anything but yourself because you really want to be better than you were in the past. How could I be disappointed in someone as noble as that?"

You notice that she's now actively fighting to keep her eyes open and you smile. "You okay for now?" She nods and you continue. "Then go to sleep, God knows you both need and deserve a good night's rest. I'll call you back tomorrow when you wake up, so you can tell me about everything else your sleep addled brain forgot to tell me tonight."

Yeji uncovers the other half of her face and eyes stare at her screen that shows your face, now more than ever she wishes she was there with you, to thank you and hold you for everything you've said and for the way you've calmed her down. She promises herself that once you meet back up in person, she'll make it up to you. But for now words will have to do.

"Thank you Y/N. I love you."

Your smile grows wider and Yeji swears she's ready to make a fool out of herself just to ensure that that smile never fades away from your face. You take your a moment to memorize the candid details of Yeji's face before replying. "I love you too Yeji. Good night." Both of you wave goodbye and as heavy of an action it was, you take the initiative to end the call because you know that if you left it up to your girlfriend she would never hit that End Call button.

--------------------------------------------------

Yeji places her phone on the nightstand by her bed.

Y/N lies back down properly on the bed.

The two stare straight ahead of them, eyes unfocused.

They take a deep breath before closing their eyes, ignoring the need that courses through their hearts.

"I'll be with her soon enough."

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

A/N: I think this is the longest fic I've written on this app? Why the hell is there too little ITZY content on this app? it feels like drought istg 😭😭

[catzula]

》 Kiss it better

a/n: 200 followers guys, thank you so much for that! I feel like I should do something to celebrate, but I have literally no ideas. If you have any suggestions, please tell me!

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem!reader

Warnings: Bullying -a lot-, angst, tons and tons of fluff

》Synopsis: You, one of Nekoma’s cheerleaders, made a bet with the captain of the Nekoma Volleyball team, that they’re going to lose to Aoba Jouhsai in the upcoming match. And- you’re failing chemistry.《

"Sensei, please don't do this." You begged. "I really want to go!"

Your teacher's eyes wandered on your pleading face, and she sighed. 

"I don't get any say in this. You're failing chemistry, and if you don't pass this make-up exam, I can't let you go to the match."

You knew her answer was final, so you sighed, trying not to cry. This was supposed to be your first match, and you couldn't even go! "At least let me attend the training? Just so that if a miracle happens, I'll be ready?"

She shrugged. "If you think you can pass the exam and attend training, why not? I don't really care what you do, to be honest, as long as you pass."

Yeah, that's not happening, you thought but held your tongue.

"Oh, come on, don't look so grim. You're a smart girl, I'm sure you'll do it." 

Though it did feel nice having her believe in you, you just couldn't be as positive as she was, but you managed to fake a smile. "Yeah, I'm sure it'll be okay. I still have to go back before I'm too late, though." This was the first time you were going to train in your cheerleading outfit, and you were too excited to see it on yourself.

She sent you a sympathetic look as she ruffled your hair slightly and went her way. You sighed. Chemistry was something you just weren't able to comprehend. Regardless of how much you studied that damn subject, you could swear you just got worse.

You quickly changed into the bright red two-piece outfit, it had black stripes on the sides and a big NEKOMA right on your chest. The black and red skirt was a little too short for your liking, but who were you to complain? You were just happy you even got to wear it.

"You're late." The captain told you as she saw you entering the gym. The rest of the team was already in their places, practicing, but stopped when they too noticed you. 

"I'm sorry, I was with sensei." You apologized with a smile. "What did she say?" She asked, her large, green-blue eyes looking at you curiously. She was the same age as you, though she had a way of making you feel... smaller next to her.

"I- uh..." You looked at the girls that stared back at you with slightly narrowed eyes, making you feel a bit self-conscious. "I- I'm failing chemistry, so I have to take the exam next week. She told me I can't go to the match if I fail."

You thought the topic would be over, but apparently not. "And?" She asked, confusing you with the question. "And?" You repeated.

"Are you going to fail?" She questioned, looking at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I hope not." You faked a giggle, feeling uncomfortable under the gaze of the girls, judging you. 

"You should tell us if you're going to fail, you know. So that we can add you to the choreograpyh." 

"O-oh, don't worry." I'm sure I'll do fine." Oh, you were anything but sure, though you figured it was better if you didn't tell her that.

"Good. Then get to your position. You have the choreography memorized, right? Last time you were a bit... sloppy." You tried to ignore one of the girls giggling. "Yeah, I know it all by now."

Finally, she smiled. You weren't sure if the smile was genuine or not, but just seeing her smile made you feel relaxed. "That's really nice, Y/N-chan!" She clapped her hands to gain attention. "Now, let's start before the volleyball team comes." 

Everybody knew that was the opposite of what she actually wanted since her crush on the volleyball team's captain was now more than known, but you chose not to call her out. You knew she wasn't a fan of you already, so it was better to keep your mouth shut, you decided. 

You didn't know why, but the girls seemed to have something against you since they always did their best to exclude you from things, though you tried not to think much about it.

When the captain started to count, you stopped thinking and danced along instead. 

***

"Aah- that was tiring. She's too ruthless sometimes!" A girl from your team exclaimed as she sipped on her water, eyeing the pretty captain. The captain was known to be one of the prettiest girls in school and was frequently asked out by guys, though most were aware she only had eyes for one man. It had been a big surprise to everyone when Kuroo had rejected her, though.

Almost every girl in school had a crush on Kuroo, thinking of him as this cool, cold guy that had rejected even the prettiest girl in school, but in reality, he was just too busy with volleyball and his lessons. To be fair, you wouldn't have known he was a huge dork either if you weren't in the same class with him and had this weird friendship/arch enemy thing going on, either.

You weren't exactly friends with him, though. More like bickering constantly, but also having weird inside jokes. You were close but also...not friends. Maybe that was why the girls didn't like you, since you always argued with the guy they wanted to date. But it wasn't your fault he was too much fun to tease! 

Teasing Kuroo was something you couldn't stop yourself from doing, and you weren't the only one that liked to make fun of the other, since Kuroo always managed to pick a fight with you, too. It wasn't genuine arguments, more like challenges, dares and bets, -you joining the cheering team was a dare you had with Kuroo, too- and because of the constant challenges you had with their captain, the volleyball team loved you, too.

"I think they're coming!" A girl whisper-yelled, causing everyone's eyes to turn to the door. She was right since the loud laughs, footsteps, and jokes were hard to miss as they approached the gym door.

Kuroo was the first to enter, his hair as messy as ever, one of his arms was on Kenma's head, just showing how much longer he was than him. 

You watched as Kenma's eyes averted to the big group of girls watching them, his eyes widening with anxiety as he turned his gaze immediately to the ground, causing his hair to fall in his face and hide him.

"Oh, hey Kuroo-Kun!" The captain exclaimed with a bright smile as she went towards them, hopping like a bunny.

"Hey." He greeted her back, the sleazy smile on his face causing your heartbeat to double, even though you didn't want to admit. "I thought you said you were going to be done with training by four." You knew Kuroo didn't mean it negatively, though the captain looked like she was panicking, looking around frantically to find a good excuse. 

"Ah, w-we have a newbie, you see. We kinda had to move slower for her to catch up." She finally answered as her eyes found yours, though instantly turned back to Kuroo's cat-like ones. 

You grimaced at the sudden attack, trying to stop yourself before you blurted out that she was lying. You understood why she would do so, but you hated it when people used you in their lies. "Oh, a newcomer," Kuroo muttered, his eyes wandering in the room lazily, as he tried to find your figure. Of course, Kuroo knew you were new in the team, he was the one who challenged you in the first place, but the cheerleading team didn't know that, and neither of you had the intention to tell them.

"She just came, so she's still pretty slow." The captain continued with a small giggle, her words making your heart sink. It was true, you were new, but you had been practicing the last few weeks, and you had almost caught up with the rest, so it wasn't fair of her to say so.

Though Kuroo seemed to pay her no mind, instead, he walked towards you with a grin on his face. "New meat!" He joked -it was really bad, though you managed to force a laugh out- and the captain followed him, now both standing next to you and watching your every move like animals watching its prey.

Kuroo seemed like he wanted to chat with you, though before he could do so, the captain sighed. "Though we're not sure if she's even going to be able to come to the match."

Your eyes narrowed, but you chose to stay silent.

"Why is that?" Kuroo asked, confusion evident on his face with the sudden and unwanted information. "Oh, she's failing chemistry, so sensei didn't let her come to the match."

"If I fail the exam, I won't be able to come." You added when she talked about it like you had already failed. "Oh, yeah! That's what I said." She told you with an innocent smile. 

You would have said something, but before you could do so, you heard the familiar sound of a volleyball hitting the ground. The captain's eyes gazed at Lev, who had just done a spike and was screaming victoriously. "Guess that means our time is over." She giggled like what she said was funny. 

"The practice is over girls, go get some rest!" She ignored the grunts of relief coming from your team and turned back to Kuroo. "You know, it was nice seeing you. Don't you think we should do this more often?"

You really didn't want to hear them flirting, so you went to change your clothes without saying anything to them.

***

You were the last one to finish changing and stepped out of the room as you tried to detangle your headphones. You were so concentrated on doing so, that you didn't even see the boy leaning to the wall, watching you. 

"Hey," he muttered, making you shriek in surprise. The way your widened eyes looked at him, he couldn't help but giggle. 

"What the fuck, Kuroo!" You exclaimed, trying to get the shock wash away as you breathed deeply. "Hey, I'm the 6'2 (187 cm for people like me hehe) one here, how should I know you're dumb enough not to see me?"

"How should I know you would creep up on me like that?" You shot back, and although you knew it was kind of your fault, you weren't going to admit that to him. 

He looked at you with a fake I'm offended look. "First of all, I didn't creep up on you." 

"Then what are you doing here?" You asked, though your voice was a little softer this time. He hadn't actually waited for you, did he? No, he wouldn't do that, unless...unless he wanted to tease you about the chemistry thing. 

You sighed as you finally understood why he was here, looking at you with that lazy smile and taking your breath away in the process. "Ah, look if you're here about me failing chemistry, please shut it." You told him as you rolled your eyes. "The captain already had a lot to say about it." You murmured, your words not really intended for him to hear.

"Well," his hand went to the back of his neck, blush dusting his cheeks ever so slightly, his odd hair falling to his face, making you wonder what would it feel like if you were to run your finger through them. Would it be soft? Spiky? Or maybe- 

"I was actually going to tell you I could... uh... help you with that, ya know." The lazy smile now resembling a little boy's grin, you would have thought he was embarrassed if you didn't know better.

Your narrowed eyes found his, trying to understand the motive behind his words. " What do you mean, help me with that?"

He giggled at your question. He had an expression on his face, one you were so used to see, though couldn't yet understand what it meant. It kind of looked like he wanted to ruffle your hair and pinch your cheeks, but not quite. "Help you with chemistry, how else?"

You bit your lip, trying to find out what he was up to. "And what are you getting out of it?" You finally asked as you gave up trying to understand him. 

"I’m a good person too, you know." He told you with a huff, he still had his teasing manner, though. "Can’t I be doing this out of my goodness?" If it were anyone else saying this, you might have believed them, but not with Kuroo. Sure, you joked around and teased each other, but your whole friendship -if you could call it that- was based on challenges, bets, deception, and who would trick who.

"No way I'll believe that. I'm not dumb, you know." You murmured the last bit since it kind of bothered you since it seemed like everybody thought so.

"Though you're failing chem, arent you?" He teased, causing you to send him a glare. "I-"

You were ready and steady to fight with him over that comment, but he only giggled and put his hand on your shoulder as if he was trying to steady or calm you. His hand was unconventionally warm, fingers calloused and hard, though it didn't bother you the slightest bit. It was rather scary how much you enjoyed his touch.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He told you, laughing as he shook his head side to side. "You're too easy to rile up, ya know? I'm offering to help since it's me who challenged you to join the cheering team, so you might kind of say it's my fault at this point."

When you kept looking at him, he furrowed his brows. "I'm telling you I'm just feeling guilty! It's nothing too complicated." He looked rather hurt at how suspicious you looked.

"And?" You pressed on, knowing too damn well it wasn't only his conscious that led him to reach a helping hand at you. There had to be something else. 

He sighed finally, obviously giving up. "And- I kinda wanna see you cheering for me." He grinned. "Call it 'satisfacting my ego'." He only grinned wider when you shot him a disgusted look.

"I knew there was something else." You just muttered. 

"Eh," He shrugged. "I'm gonna need every boost I can have if I'm going to play against Oikawa." He said it so casually, you couldn't perceive what he said for a second or so.

"You're- you're playing against Aoba Jousai?" You blurted out, mouth agape. You hadn't even realized till now that you didn't even know who they were playing against. Clearly, he was thinking the same thing.

"You didn’t even know? And you're supposed to be our cheerleader." He clicked his mouth in a disapproving manner and shook his head side to side. 

You ignored his remark. "There is no way you can win against him, you know." 

He snickered at your blunt response. "I see you've become especially good at cheering and motivating." 

You grinned. "Shoot me for telling the truth. It's Oikawa we're talking about."

"And? What about him?"

"He's one of the hottest and most talented men around, and you know it." You told him as you watched his grin fade to annoyance. "He's not hot!"

"No need to get all jealous, Kuroo." You giggled when he grimaced. "Me? Jealous of that- that... guy?!"

You shrugged just to piss him off. 

"Well then, what will you do when we beat your oh-so-great Oikawa?" His playful grin was back, now wider than ever, and it pissed you off, how good he looked.

"Is that a bet?"

"Of course it is." He answered, like it was only normal.

"I'm not betting against my own team!" You exclaimed, feeling your cheeks heating up a bit. How did teasing him come to this, anyway?!

"What will you do?" He pressed on, and you were aware he wouldn't let it go until you bet with him, so you sighed as if you accepted defeat. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hmm," He tapped his chin as he considered the choices (he had been trying to make this bet with you for a week and had been planning how to get you to agree to it, it was surprisingly easy, though, since he was a mastermind at planning and stuff, even though he didn't show it much). His honey-colored eyes glistened when he decided what he wanted you to do. "You're gonna wear those cat ears for a week." 

By those cat ears, he meant the ones that were a part of the cheering costume but were excluded since they were too hard to dance with. The first time you tried them on, Kuroo had laughed ten minutes straight and would've taken a photo if you hadn't ripped them off your head and threw them right in the middle of his face. 

"Oh, it’s on." You shot back without thinking much about it. "Only if you wear them a week if you lose against them, too, though." You added with a smile that warmed his heart.

"Deal." He grinned.

 You had no idea that he had been planning this for a long time, so what seemed like an innocent, fair bet was actually almost guaranteed you to lose. The penalty was the first thing he had thought about the bet, the rest came later to him, so he was literally planning how to get you to wear those cat ears for... a month. Not that you needed to know about that, though.

"Deal." You smiled.

***

You watched as Kuroo jumped, so high, that it made you wonder if he could secretly fly. His hand up in the air, coming down so fast to spike the ball. A grin was on his face, knowing damn well what you were probably thinking, as you watched him.

He smacked the ball with so much force, you gasped. You always knew he was strong, and he was fast -he was the Nekoma team captain, after all- but you never knew he was... this good.

When he landed back on his feet, looking at your flustered face was the first thing he did. Your mouth still slightly agape as you watched the ball that was now on the other side of the court, Kuroo thought it was one of the cutest things he saw.

"So," he asked with a cocky grin, "Still think Oikawa is better than me?"

You stood silent for a few seconds and then looked at his golden eyes. "Are you kidding me?!" You exclaimed, and just when he thought he was finally going to see you admitting he was, in fact, better than that Oikawa guy, you chuckled. "Oikawa could murder you, Kuroo. Don't get too full of yourself."

"What?" He asked in a rather cold voice that sent chills down your spine, though knowing it was just Kuroo, you ignored the threatening tone. "Don't try to intimidate me with that look, you asked the question, so you should be prepared for the answer, too."

"Did you- did you not see my spike just then? It was amazing!" You shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, knowing he was fuming inside. He was going to keep on arguing, if it wasn't for Lev, who was cheerfully calling out for you. 

''Y/N-san, could you throw me some balls, too?" He told you when he came next to you in two long strides. 

"Sure-" You answered, but Kuroo interrupted. "No."

It was the threatening, cold voice he used that always managed to frighten Lev, just a little bit. "But Kuroo-san! She's been throwing you balls the last hour!" He whined, making you giggle. "He's right, you know. It's only fair if I help him, too." You told Kuroo, desperately trying not to laugh when you saw him pouting. 

"No! He can work with Kenma, I'm the one that's helping you with chemistry, aren't? So you should help me with this." He told you, his hand pulling you away from Lev and closer to himself. 

"You're the one who suggested helping me! And you forced me to throw you balls, too." 

You shook your head side to side when Kuroo ignored you. "Lev, you either go practice spikes with Kenma right now, or you're running laps the rest of the practice."

You saw Lev's eyes widening as he hurriedly walked towards Kenma, though muttering to himself, "This is no fair. He gets to practice with the pretty girl!"

Kuroo took another ball from the basket and gave it to you, though he was still pouting. "I can't believe you were really going to choose him over me. You should be happy you're getting to practice with me. But no, it's always someone else, isn't it?" He mumbled under his breath as you bit your lips to try and not laugh. You knew he was only joking, he always was.

You sent the ball to the air, just a bit over his head as he jumped and hit the ball, harder than the last time, and with the sound of his hand hitting the ball, you also heard a pained grunt coming from him. 

He sat on the floor, clutching his hand to his chest, and you felt your heart beating rapidly in your chest at the sight. "K-Kuroo, what happened? Are you okay? We should go to the infirmary!" 

You tried to get him to stand on his feet, but he shook his head side to side, rather pulling you to sit down next to him. "I'm okay," he told you with a small smile. "It came straight down on my finger, so it hurts a little, but it happens more than you would believe. I should just bandage it, putting some ice on it would help, too."

Hearing it wasn't a big deal did have its effect on your crazy heartbeat, slowing it a bit, but you were still worried more than you would like to accept. You stood up, quickly gathering some bandages and ice, and walked back to him. 

As you took his hand and analyzed the finger, you noticed it was only a bit red and that he was right, it wasn't a big deal, but you were still mad at him. "What the fuck, Kuroo?!" You muttered angrily as you pressed the ice on his hand, he hissed with the sudden contact. 

"I didn't do it on purpose!" He shot back. 

"You have to be more careful! What if something else had happened? What if it wasn't just okay with ice and bandages?! The school and your team need you, you know they do!"

You sighed when he stayed silent. "I thought you wanted to beat Oikawa, and you can't do it injured. You want to wear those cat ears, I presume?" You joked, and he smiled. 

"So you think I can beat him if I'm not injured, huh? I think it's you who wants to wear the cat ears."

You noticed your mistake, your cheeks burning slightly, but chose not to answer him since you knew he would just tease you further if you did. "Here you go, it's all better." You told him when you were done with bandaging.

"Aren't you gonna kiss it better?" He asked with a teasing grin, and you rolled your eyes. "In your dreams, you big baby."

"But it still hurts, Y/N! It can't get better if you don't kiss it! The team needs me, you said it yourself!"

"Kuroo," you groaned, but he just pointed at his cheek. "Come on, no need to be shy." That jerk and his stupidly good looking grin. You weren't really sure why, but you leaned in, your face getting closer to his cheek. You only noticed what you were actually doing when you were so close to him that you could smell the light scent of smell mixed with his natural, woody scent.

"You stink." You lied.

"But you were about to kiss it better!" He whined as you stood up, and internally screamed at yourself for actually considering kissing him. "Shut up, I'm tired. Just text me when you're done with the practice." You told him as you walked to the exit, you needed the fresh breath of air.

***

"I deem you beyond hope. These are the basics of chemistry. How -the fuck- are you so bad at them?" 

"I don't know!" You groaned for the millionth time. "I just can't do it, okay?" He rolled his eyes when you pouted. Maybe you were acting a tad too childish, but no one liked to be reminded of how dumb they were, especially not from a guy as hot as him.

"Okay, okay." He finally said when you kept pouting. "Let's take a break." He didn't miss your cute smile when you heard the word 'break'. 

"How are you so bad at it, anyway? You're not as bad in the other subjects..." He then realized he had no idea how your other subjects were. "Right?" He asked, this time a little less confident. 

"No." You told him with a glare. "It's something between me and chemistry, we just don't get along." You sighed, and without thinking much about it, you added, "chem is a mystery to me." Not expecting his eyes to widen and gasp at your small word game, you quirked your brow. "What?"

"Did you- did you just do a joke?!" He looked so genuinely shocked, you pouted.

"I am capable of joking!" You answered his accusation, noticing his grin. "Huh," he mumbled, "Since you never laugh at mine, I thought you just didn't understand them."

"I'll strangle you, Kuroo." You answered though you were smiling. "You were about to kiss me an hour ago, what's with the attitude?" He teased, and he thought it was the best thing, how horrified you looked at the accusation.

"I- I didn't- I wasn't going to-" As you choked on your words, he was having the time of his life. You faked a cough to try and hide how flustered you were, a pathetic attempt, really. 

"Huh? You weren't going to kiss me? Is that what you're saying? Are you a liar, too, Y/N-chan?" 

"Kuroo, shut the fuck up." You mumbled when you finally found it in yourself to form words. "How rude, princess." He giggled, dropping the topic and not even realizing the effect the pet name had on you. 

"Don't call me that, jackass." You tried to be as rude as you could to hide the soft part of you showing, but he noticed, he always did. 

"What, princess?"

When you didn't answer him, he grinned and leaned a little closer to you. "Is it making you excited, princess?"

"No way!" You blurted out. "Why should I get excited over you? It's just- weird." You answered, and he didn't press it on, though you could still feel his mocking eyes on you, grinning like the Cheshire cat. 

***

"Hey!" You called out when you saw one small and one abnormally tall silhouette. "Kenma, Lev, could you guys help me out a bit?" You had two large boxes on your hands, hiding your face from them, but they instantly knew who you were. 

"What are you doing?" Lev asked as he took the larger box from you, Kenma was holding one of the small boxes you had left behind to get on a second trip. 

"Oh, it's the cheerleading equipment, they asked me if I could take them."

"All of them?" Kenma asked, a brow quirking questioningly. "Yeah, you know, being new and stuff I guess." You told with a little giggle.

"Yeah, no." Kenma told you with a monotone voice. "It's not being new and stuff, and don't think we missed how they're acting towards you." He looked at Lev. "Even he noticed it."

"Hey, what does that mean?!"

"They're not the kindest people around, that I admit." You answered. "But it's not unbearable, so..." You sent him a cheeky grin.

Kenma shrugged. "Whatever you say, just know what they're doing is not normal, and it's probably just gonna get worse."

You knew he was right, but the topic made you uncomfortable, so you just shrugged.

***

Hanging out with Kuroo was fun, you had to admit. Even though you were just studying, it was too much fun.

"How are you feeling? Are you stressed? Do you think you're ready? Do you think you'll pass? Oh my god, why am I so stressed?!" Kuroo blabbered on as he shook you by your shoulders with every word. "I'm okay, Kuroo. I'm feeling pretty good, actually, I think I'm ready."

He looked at you with worried eyes, though they looked a bit more relieved than they were just then. 

"Okay, then. Go break a leg? Is that what you're supposed to say in situations like this?" Oh, shoot. Did he have to look so damn cute, worrying over you?

You chuckled as you shrugged, ignoring the warm feeling spreading through your body. "I'm not sure. You knew you didn't have to come all the way here, though, right?" He had insisted that he was going to drop you to the exam, and wait until you came back. He said he might even buy you a slice of cheesecake after if it went well, and who were you to say no?

"I wanted to come." He looked at his phone screen to check the hour. "Okay, you have to go now, but I'll be right here." 

You weren't sure why, but that sentence filled you with a confidence you never knew you had. You felt like... you felt like if he was right here, supporting you, you could even overcome your greatest enemy, chemistry. 

"Y-yeah, okay." You mumbled, turning around to go to school, but stopped when he suddenly shouted, "Wait!" You turned around, worried there was something you forgot -there was always something you forgot- but your worries died when you saw him grinning. 

"Aren't you gonna ask for a good lucks kiss?"

"Oh my god, Kuroo." You rolled your eyes, once again turning to go, but this time he didn't let you walk away, not without a hug. "Well then, here's a good luck hug instead." As you felt his long arms around your body, you froze in your place, forgetting to even breathe.

He was warm, not a disturbing warm, though, the kind that caused you to smile, that made you feel safe, that made you think if he kept his arms around you, nothing bad could happen. So instead of pulling back, you wrapped your arms around him too, closing your eyes with the feeling and not even realizing that you were nuzzling your face in his neck. 

You didn't notice the relieved smile that was on his face when you hugged him back, since he was half-sure you were going to push him away, he closed his eyes too and wrapped you even tighter, trying to etch this feeling in his mind so he could remember forever.

You could feel his face touching your hair, your bodies pressed together, you wondered if he could hear how hard your heart was beating. When he pulled back after a while, you felt a bit disappointed that it ended but hid that expression nonetheless. Now you couldn't stop thinking just how good he smelled and felt. 

"Uh, thanks for that, I guess." You told him with an awkward giggle. "Sure thing, all you gotta do is ask, princess." He told you with a wink, causing you to roll your eyes and walk away.

***

Kuroo was a man of his word, so he waited two hours on exactly where you both had hugged each other. 

When he realized he could still feel your lingering scent when the wind blew slightly and smiled, Kuroo knew he was in deep. He had never meant for it to go this way, he liked this weird thing you both had, constant teasing and challenging each other. He had no idea when he had caught feelings, but Kuroo wasn't a simple man, he knew that when he had feelings towards someone, it was too damn hard for him to let go.

He couldn't stop thinking about the hug that had passed just then, how you felt between his arms, how amazing you smelled, how good of a fit you two were. 

So when he saw you exiting the school, he couldn't (didn't) suppress the smile that was forming on his face, and it only grew wider when you smiled back.

"How was it?" He asked when you came towards him. "It was gre-" Before you could finish your sentence, you found yourself pulled into a tight hug once again, though this time you didn't fight it one second.

"That's very nice to hear." He muttered into your hair, and you giggled. "I remember a promise about a cheesecake." You told him with a cheeky smile when his arms let go of your figure, that looked tiny next to him. 

"Huh, cheesecake? Nope, can't think of anything related to that." 

"Kuroo!" You whined.

"What? I don't even like cheesecake! How could I have known your exam was going to be okay when you suck this bad at chemistry?" He protested.

He still took you to eat cheesecake, and not only one slice, but as much as you'd liked.

"So, you're gonna cheer for me, huh?" He told you as he watched you chew on the giant piece of cake you had just gotten in your mouth. You could swear he was only asking questions when you were chewing, cause it was a little too often his questions had caught you munching on food, at this point.

You glared at him as he shot you an innocent look, he grinned like a mad man the whole time you tried to swallow your bite. "I don't know, I haven't decided yet." You finally answered.

"You can't tell me you're going to cheer for that Oikawa guy." He huffed, though you knew he was damn serious at his question. "No, I'm going to cheer for Lev." You shot back, and he groaned.

"You're forgetting that I'm paying for all these." He grinned, causing you to choke on the bite you just took. He laughed and passed you the water, watching you drink it down. 

"Yeah, you're right." You told him with a cheeky grin.

***

"Oh, shit, I'm so fucking stressed, I'm going to die." Yaku mumbled. "You don't have to be stressed, Yaku-san! You practiced so much, I know you're going to win!" Your captain cheered excitedly. (you forgot about her, didn't you, haha)

Huh, you thought. Maybe Kuroo was right about you sucking at giving motivation.

"Thanks." Yaku mumbled with an awkward smile, trying to escape from her overly cheerful manner.

"Kuroo-san, how are you feeling?" She asked as she walked towards him, making the girls in your team giggle with anticipation. "I'm okay, thanks." He mumbled, his eyes searching through the crowd, stopping when they found you. Without even noticing that the cheerleader captain was talking to him, he walked towards you with a mocking grin on his face. 

"I need to get my good luck kiss before I go on the court, you know. And this time, I'm not settling for a hug." It might have been something you could laugh at, if you weren't in public and both of your teams weren't looking at you, mouths agape, eyes widened with shock.

You could hear Kenma face-palming himself.

"Sh-shut it, Kuroo! It's not the time for teasing." You told him, feeling your cheeks heating up.

"Come on, just one kiss." He continued as he leaned in, caging you and leaving you breathless. You knew he was joking, but no one else did, and sometimes, you weren't so sure either, especially when he looked at you like that.

So you did the best thing you could. 

You ran away. 

Not bothering to look back or answer his questions, you ran until you couldn't see him. You had no idea how you were going to explain this to your team, especially to the captain. She didn't like you already, and this was probably just going to make everything worse. 

So you stayed there until you heard Nekoma being called out on the court, leaving the room half-heartedly, scared of what you were going to face.

You could feel the lingering eyes on you, hear the whispers following you, and you did your best to ignore them, but you knew you could break down crying any second now. When you saw the captain glaring at you, you bit your lip, trying to focus on the dance. 

You could feel the boys looking at you to see if you were okay or not, trying to get you to look at them too, but you refused to do so since you were a little scared of what you would see. 

Though the whispers and glares toned down and died when the game started since the game took all your attention. You watched as Kenma passed the ball to Lev, he jumped so high and hit the ball so hard, you gasped. The ball passed between Aoba Jouhsai and Nekoma, neither of them looking like they were going to accept losing. 

You could see everyone giving their bests, even Kenma looked fired about the game, Lev blocking the ball like his life depended on it, Oikawa using tricks and strategies that just amazed you.

The game was breathtaking, every touch on the ball had you gasping, making you sit on the edge of your seat, turning your knuckles white. 

The only times you could hear the whispers running after you were the times there were breaks, and the cheerleading team was dancing on the court. 

Wasn't this supposed to be fun? It felt like torture, instead. You could feel your teammates nudging you with an elbow every once and then, causing you to lose your balance, snickering when you stumbled. At this point, you were just counting minutes till the game ended. 

Kuroo must've noticed something was wrong since, at one point, he started to wave at you until you saw him, and when you looked at him, he sent you a thumbs up as if he was trying to ask if you were okay, not noticing he was the problem. 

You just plastered a smile on your face and nodded your head, trying to make him go back to the game. He sent you a cheeky grin in response, now more determined to win more than ever. 

The game went on, and it was finally the third and the last set. To give the team more of a boost, the cheerleading was going on on the side of the court. 

You would've enjoyed this, you really would, if it weren't for the now rougher pushes you've been getting from the other girls. It was starting to hurt, you had to admit, and not only physically, too. No one liked being laughed at, especially when they had no one to help them get through this, and you were feeling more alone then you have ever felt before. 

Though all your thoughts disappeared when you saw Kuroo jumping with all his might and hitting the ball Kenma had just sent him. The ball went straight down, without anyone on the other side of the net being able to receive it. 

He had scored the match point. They won, you realized.

Your eyes wide, hands up in the air, shaking the black and red pompoms in your hand as you cheered with the rest of your team, beaming with happiness.

You suddenly noticed the cat-like eyes on you, and your eyes found him too. He was grinning widely, everyone around him screaming with victory, and it somehow felt like the time had stopped as you looked at each other. His arms were wide open as if he was inviting you for a hug, his lips were moving like he was trying to tell you something, and you focused your gaze on is lips, narrowing your eyes and leaning a bit closer-

You felt a sharp pain on the side of your body, leaving you breathless for a second or more, making your eyes water, and because you were leaning forward and your focus was fully somewhere else, you couldn't find your balance, falling forward. 

You would've fallen right on your face if you hadn't put your hand on the ground in instinct, but now it was your hand and your ankle which had twisted badly when you fell, that had taken the blow. You looked up, just to find one of the girls looking at you with an uninterested pout, though you weren't sure who it was that had pushed you. 

You could feel your eyes stinging with tears unshed, your ankle and wrist throbbing with pain, and it wasn't even the pain that caused you to tear up. You felt so self-conscious, falling in front of all these people, in front of him, you wanted to run away. 

Trying to stand up, you gasped as you felt the pain in your ankle, just making the stinging in your eyes and the lump in your throat worse. You knew you would've fallen once again if it wasn't for the sudden support under your arms.

You couldn't recognize him for a second with the cold, almost scary look he had on his face, his eyes looking threateningly sharp as he helped you stand on your legs, walking you out of the gym. 

Neither of you talked until you were finally alone in a room, and he had sat you on the bench. He sat right next to you, and the silence was unbearable, but you knew the second you attempted to talk, you would break down crying. 

He somehow seemed to know that, so instead of trying to make you talk, you felt his hands wrapping you in a tight hug, and that was when you lost control over your emotions. You couldn't help the tears running down your face, wetting your cheeks, the sobs shaking your body between his arms, your arms hugging him even tighter as you replayed everything in your mind. 

"I'm sorry," you managed to mumble between your sobs, "I'm so sorry, Kuroo." You didn't know why exactly you were apologizing, maybe it was because he had to be here with you instead of celebrating his victory, or maybe something else. 

You stopped apologizing when you felt his hand touching your hair so softly, you almost couldn't feel it. "Shh," he whispered, "it's okay, no need to be sorry."

You nodded, you weren't even sure how long you stayed in that position, but you had already stopped crying when he talked again. "Are you feeling better now?"

You nodded, not even trying to pull back since it felt too good to be between his arms. His hand was still caressing your hair, though it was a little different this time since you felt something sliding between your hair, something that suspiciously felt like a headband with a pair of cat ears.

You tried to suppress your smile, but couldn't, so you just giggled. "You asshole." You mumbled and felt the laughter bubbling in his chest.

"I love you too, princess."

Epilogue:

You were sitting on the couch as Kuroo gathered the snacks. It was movie night, though as you surfed through the channels, you found something even more interesting. 

"Baby, come quick! It's live from Oikawa's game." You told him as you watched the game a little too closely, Kuroo noticed. As an attempt to keep his girl, Kuroo sat right next to you on the couch, an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You could feel him pulling you closer and closer to himself every time you gasped or cheered for Oikawa until you were almost on top of him.

"Tetsu, are you jealous?" You finally asked, desperately trying to hold yourself from laughing at his pouting face. 

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?" You were going to say something, but he answered his own question. "Because my girlfriend is far more interested in a guy on tv than her boyfriend that's sitting right next to him?"

"I'm not interested in him!" You protested, trying to ignore the amazing spike Oikawa just did, but he noticed it. Pouting and looking away -though not attempting to get away from you whatsoever- he looked like a little boy. 

"Ah, come on, you know you'll always be my number one." You told him with a giggle, and you knew when you pecked his cheek with a light kiss, he couldn’t stay mad at you. 

"You know, you really hurt my feelings there." He muttered though he was grinning as he leaned his face closer to yours. 

"Did I?" You asked with an equally cheeky grin, and he nodded, now even closer that you could feel the heat radiating from him. 

"I kinda need you to kiss it better." 

Kiss it better, you did.

[al-n-cartoons]

Quick Thing About Rook in TMIAB

So, I like to post little bits of concept stuff for "The Multiverse in a Blender" here, and I do so without context. Because of this, I feel the need to make something clear right now regarding Rook:

I. Like. Rook. I am not trying to bash him in this. Let me explain:

So the main story starts about a week into Ben and Rook being partners; the sting of Gwen and Kevin taking off are still very much present. Ben knows that they didn't just decide to upend their lives at the tip of a hat: Kevin had a job and Gwen was going to COLLEGE. She had to go through an entire process to get in and knew several months in advance that she would have to pack up her life to move elsewhere. Neither of them told Ben until they were already on their way out. They CHOSE not to tell him, and he knows it.

Almost immediately, Ben is given a partner. A very skilled, smart, polite partner. A hand picked partner. People like Rook aren't a dime-a-dozen; they're searched for, hunted down, and then groomed. That obviously had to take time, maybe even months. Who decided to give Ben a partner? Probably Max or Azmuth, meaning either on or both of them knew that Gwen and Kevin would be leaving, and neither told Ben.

Furthermore, Rook knows everything that has ever been recorded regarding Ben, his person, and his actions. Research like that takes even MORE time, and that was after he was selected to be Ben's partner.

These facts paint nearly every character Ben admires or is endeared to in a harsh light, and it is only natural for him to be upset about it. Problem is, he's Ben. He doesn't want to be upset about it. Who else does he have, really? He has no friends from his school, his two only real friends essentially abandoned him, and everyone else ultimately spat on him as an intellectual and treated his personal life with complete disregard by giving him the responsibility of adhereing to someone else entirely. Why do I say this? Because Ben isn't a Plumber, Rook IS a Plumber, and Ben was told that Rook is his partner.

Really think about it; when all is said and done, Ben is vigilante, he just so happens to be tethered to the Plumbers per his familial relation with Max. He and his team went by their own schedule and by and large played by their own rules. We see in the show that immediately after Ben is TOLD that Rook is his partner, Max outright nags on Ben for not having his schedule adjusted to Rook (when Ben showed up late and brought a smoothie with him). How is that fair?

Now Ben wouldn't be mad. He would be, don't get me wrong, but he 'wouldn't be mad'. He understands intellectually that the Plumbers are trying to protect him and/or the Omnitrix and keep Ben from going off the deep end as a 'lone wolf'. But he's a teen, and I wouldn't expect a full grown adult to accept this, either.

How does this translate into the story? Simple: Ben doesn't accept Rook as his partner for a good while and complains to his then-interdimensional friends (Blossom, Rex, Zak, Danny, etcetera) about it. This isn't helped by the matter that he's on some level acting out, behaving especially immaturely and going off on his own more frequently (thus prompting Max to call him out further and Rook to grow more patronizing because they're living beings, too; they have emotions), only further worsened by the fact that Ben isn't what Rook was expecting: Ben's a short, borderline scrawny kid with an ego, a touch of vanity, and a slight insensitivity to intergalactic social norms. All these things makes sense on Ben's end: his figure has been dramatized for cinematic effect in the media, he's saved the world and is showered with praise from nearly everyone; and he's from the first generation of true exposure to alien life and society, OF COURSE he wouldn't understand their norms or gets overexcited when seeing an interesting, new alien, or give his new forms almost racy names (Diamond Head, Stink Fly, etcetera...fun names, but how would members of that species feel?).

So, yeah, there are issues when Rex and the rest of them meet Rook. Rex and Danny would likely hold onto those grudges (Danny would, at least until someone gave Rook some form of payback). Ben didn't mean to be relationsally aggressive, he just figured it was a safe bet to complain to his friends about Rook because he never once thought they would ever meet Rook. Now Rex hates him. Likewise with Kai, but that's a different can of worms.

Now, there are relational issues with Rook and Ben, but they eventually get resolved. Sometime after Ben stops projecting his negative emotions about Gwen, Kevin, and Max onto Rook, but Ben would probably just avoid the issue entirely after making the distinction. Also, he'd probably ghost Gwen and Kevin, too. Or be passive aggressive while trying to grin and bear not acknowledging the elephant in the room.

I want Ben and Rook to have a mutually supportive, platonic relationship.

[nuclear-satan]

Final Space Season 3 Episode 1 Review **SPOILER WARNING!!**

...And Into The Fire we go!

I really have wanted to do a Final Space review for a while, so now - I'm going to do it, fuck it. Starting a couple episodes late, but after [insert shenanigans] I needed to let it cool off before getting back into it.

One last warning: THESE ARE NOT SPOILER FREE REVIEWS. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT SPOILED AND DO NOT WANT TO BE. THESE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOME SUMMARIZATION INVOLVED.

With the disclaimer out of the way, let's get into it.

So, first of all, I have to acknowledge that this cold open? Fucking toasty. The entire first five or six minutes of this episode is flat out amazing and some of the best that Final Space is. Really intense - I love the dramatic cold open to a space chase.

Also, however, brief, the Quinnary reunion was nice. Quinnary is a ship that I enjoy subjectively more than objectively, but considering it really hits now even if S1 had issues... I can look past it yo.

Invictus proves his power and intimidation incredibly well this episode, between the Gary Zombies and even this first incredibly terrifying matchup - even Mooncake, who in any other situation has been able to zap it away, couldn't touch it. Really setting the villain well.

Small thing I want to acknowledge because there was some discourse on it -- Sheryl saying "I'm his mother; where do you think he got it from?" Was really nice to me. Obviously not all is forgiven, nor should it be, but it's just a nice bit of character development.

Then, Ava gets Yeeted by Bolo and breaks.

I could have taken a better screencap probably, but I will not.

Anyways, considering the cast of characters was way too fucking big in S2, I'm not... particularly aggrieved by this, especially since I didn't really like AVA anyways, but it is pretty unfortunate that one of the only female characters just got the ax without basically any development other than the obligatory robot comphet stuff. Whatever, I think this is setting the stage for HUE AI, so I'll bite my tongue.

That said, the conversation that HUE and AVA had before she died? Sweet.

And then they're in Final Space. Goddamn, they really went the extra mile animating and illustrating this episode. Gotta acknowledge it.

Also, quick note: New OP is a banger.

...And this is when the review's going to start getting a bit more negative, because we jump straight into everyone's favorite trope: a time skip.

I. I really have issues with this timeskip. This episode was fucking ballistic in the pacing, and I really, really wish that I could have spent some more time within Final Space just trying to survive. I get it. It was a premiere, so you wanted to go all out, but... I really wish we could have savored it. There's just suddenly a timeskip! We don't get to see how they've been surviving. We don't get to see shit. Quinn just suddenly appears in a new outfit, and then we're off the races.

I dunno man, I really had issues with the pacing of this episode, and this is the backbone of it. It's okay to take a breather, even in your opening episode. You have to know when to take a breather. This episode sorely needed it, and it didn't get it.

Also, obligatory Danger Groins mention. Yeah, I know that's not what he says. It's what he says in my heart, tho.

From here, the Gary zombies show up, which are... admittedly intimidating.

They get attacked, and - okay, can we fucking mention the titan fights for a moment? No matter what happens this season, I'm here for this. This is Gurren Lagann levels of ridiculous, and I fucking love it. Smash that planet, yo.

lThey get separated, and Avocato and Gary have a bit unfitting but fucking hilarious moment that has to be acknowledged. This shit ain't straight, yo. There's no fucking way you tell me this shit is straight.

And... *sigh* I really have some goddamn issues with the next... I don't know, I wasn't watching, six minutes?

"There's no more grossout scenes," we were told. "Season 2 gross out is done. No more weird fetishes."

Okay.

Okay, sure.

I'm sparing you the images, because I don't want to post grossout on my blog, but... holy shit, Quatronostro's birth scene. First of all, which of the fuckers on the blog keeps putting their fetishes in this show? Clarence is gone, so you're making Mpreg Tribore (I realize Tribore is canonically genderfluid, but he's male presenting at the time of this birth... and at every time... I don't have faith in two cishet men to actually make good on that, sorry. I hope I'm wrong.) Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

The scene is gross, uncomfortable grossout. This isn't the 90s anymore!

Also, the other thing I have to acknowledge - that motherfucking robot. It's season 3 - haven't we moved past the screaming = funny leftover humor from Olan's YouTube days? Clearly fucking not.

Also, Ash did a really out of character thing this episode by shooting the robot. I... what is Ash's character, exactly? Ash is an inconsistent enigma. Someone define that poor girl's character, already.

After that... mess.... though, we do end up with a very solid ending. Bolo headbutts the planet, Quinn and Gary get swept up in the blast, and we end up with a very beautiful but quick scene of Gary and Quinn embracing one last time - it's very reminiscent of chapter 9, and I did thoroughly enjoy it.

iAlso, the shot of Mooncake saying "Gar" while looking for Gary, presuming he's dead? Oh, that just hurts.

And then we end with HUE saying, "We are alone, Gary." Honestly, genuinely was a little disappointed to find it wasn't just HUE and Gary. I thought this line was going to come later in the season, and it was just going to be HUE and Gary in a callback from season one. It wasn't, and I'm genuinely very disappointed as someone who's favorite dynamic in the entire show is S1 HUE and Gary. Of course, as a result, I'm not unbiased, and... well, I do stan Quinn too.

And goddamn, look at the Earth. She got fucked uuuuuup. I think I remember hearing next episode that there's only one survivor left, which I do NOT buy as a concept, but it's very cool to see a show that does not shy away from full apocalypse scale destruction of the earth. It like, never happens, so it's a nice subversion. Get fucked, earth.

Overall Thoughts:

This episode is the definition of a mixed bag. The beginning is fantastic and the ending is solid (even if personally disappointing), but the middle is genuinely kind of bad. The pacing is rough, there's season 2 tier grossout that I did NOT need to see, and that robot deserved a punt in the face.

The animation is fantastic though. Everyone point and stare at the animation.

I still think the good outweighed the bad, though - if only because of my personal attachment to the characters. I think this was a decent episode - probably on par with the other openers... actually, I don't know.

My disappointment with this episode was more than with the Toro Regatta, but that was more due to my own expectations and thus not fair to rank it that way. I don't know - all the first episodes of the seasons are meh at best, and this unfortunately due to the lackluster middle fit that mold as well.

If you asked me to give it a ranking, I'd probably say if we assume a 5 out of 10 is average, I'd give it a 6. Decent, fantastic when it's good, but the entire middle section really brought me out of it and because of that I can't give it anything more than that.

I've heard episodes two and three are good, though - excited to see the Ventrexian for myself after all the fuss, so let's see how it holds up!

I'm scared for Biskit tho.

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

Subtle Things Like – Five (Lee Felix x OFC)

MASTERLIST | STL MASTERLIST

A/N: Finally, we're getting somewhere. To think we still haven't gotten to the second day and this is the fifth chapter. In other news, yay for Hyunjin's return! :D I'm excited to see Stray Kids for the first time with all eight members in the present. Also, the new MV is *chef's kiss* because it's beautiful and I cried over sentimental things. Okay. Enjoy the story.

Summary: The first part of Hyunjin's plan is underway.

Warnings: none other than some jealousy; oh and Hyunjin and Chan working as a team to help Felix get the courage to talk to Mia.

Words: 1.7k

Tags: @maybedeja

If you want to be tagged, let me know!

Chan agrees to Hyunjin's plan to give Felix the push he needs to confess because he trusts that it will work. With a warning to not let negativity ruin any friendship, Hyunjin begins his work, suggesting he helps clean the kitchen with Felix to give Mia time to hang out with the others.

Mia found it strange but took the welcome excuse to spend time with the other members. Instead, she finds herself sitting beside Chan – after delivering a plate of cookies to Jisung's apartment – her head on his shoulder while he scrolls through Twitter on his phone. Jeongin sadly left to play video games before she joined Chan, making her pout when her friend told her.

"You don't have to stay here with me. You can go next door and play some games."

"Nah, this is fine. Who knows how often I'll get to see you this week? I'll take all the Chris time I can get."

Chan chuckles, looking at her reading tweets. "The guys like you a lot, you know."

"I'm glad they do. I like them, too. They're just as sweet in person as they are in videos."

"I hope you have a lot of fun while you're here." Chan rests his cheek on her head before scrolling more. "I think Felix has been a little sad since he came back from his family last time, so I'm glad you're here to cheer him up."

"Anything to make Lixie happy," Mia smiles. "He seems happy, yeah? That I'm here?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"The kind of happy I hope for?"

He shrugs gently. "That should be something you ask him about."

"You're right, but he never seems to want to talk about it."

"Felix has grown up a lot since then, Mia. You'll be surprised to hear what he's willing to talk about now."

"I hope you're right, Christopher." Mia snuggles closer to Chan with a sad smile. "I've waited a long time..."

Chan rubs her arm that's around his torso. "I know you have and I want to tell you not to give up on him." It's not quite the tactic he means to use to get Mia to possibly shift her attention elsewhere, but it should work. "But you have a life to live and opportunities to take that don't involve Felix."

Mia sighs. There's no need for words to put reality in place when she knows he's right. She shifts even closer to her friend and does her best to ignore the ache in her chest.

In the kitchen, there's an unusually somber tone about the room. Felix and Hyunjin talk some, but it's hardly as playful as usual. Hyunjin is busy thinking up how to implement the plan while Felix is feeling a strange sense of nervousness. For what? He's not quite sure.

"So, what do you think about Mia?" Felix eventually asks, not looking at his friend because he's afraid of what emotions he might see on Hyunjin's face.

"I like her. She's funny and nice." Hyunjin hesitates, suddenly fearful he'll mess everything up. "Pretty, too."

Felix's hands pause for a second and Hyunjin notices. It's a good sign, he hopes.

"Can I ask something personal?"

"Uh, okay." Felix tries to keep his focus on the dishes.

"Do you love Mia?"

The plate Felix is cleaning slips out of his hand and into the soapy water. "What?"

"Do you love her, you know, the way she loves you?"

"She doesn't love me in any certain way." Denial. Felix knows exactly how she feels about him. It scared him from the moment she confessed because, frankly, he didn't know what to do with that information.

The look on Hyunjin's face – a mixture of disbelief and disgust – has Felix laser-focused on the plate he's scrubbing. "Don't be dumb. I know she confessed to you."

No response.

"Okay... do you love her?"

Felix is still scrubbing the same spot on the plate. "Of course, I do. She's my best friend." He can't believe he said that.

"Do you want to be with her?" Hyunjin can't stand the way Felix is avoiding the truth. He might have to pull out the big strategy.

"How do you mean?"

Hyunjin groans. "Please tell me you're kidding... You've never wanted to date Mia?"

Back then? No, but recently? "That'd be weird. Plus, it's not like I could anyway with the ban."

That's something. "So... you wouldn't be upset if someone else might like her?" Big guns are out.

That brings Felix's gaze to Hyunjin. "Do you like Mia?" That is the last thing Felix needs. Why wouldn't one of his friends develop a crush on Mia? She's kind and uplifting all the time. She draws people to her with her smile alone.

He shrugs, drying the plate Felix finally handed over. "Maybe. I feel kinda strange when she's around me."

Felix can feel his stomach drop but puts on a teasing smile. "Sounds like you might."

"You're not mad?" No, he's jealous. Hyunjin can see it in the way Felix is moving. His actions aren't as fluid and his jaw is tense. Progress.

"Why would I be mad? Mia's my friend, not my girlfriend. I don't really mind." Lie. Felix is terrified Mia is at the end of her waiting and will jump happily into Hyunjin's arms. "But are you sure? You only met today."

"I know. I want to figure it out for sure because it's confusing."

Felix's kindness speaks before he thinks. "Walk her to Chan's apartment tonight and get to know her. Maybe you'll get a better idea."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not her father," Felix says. "You're already her favorite member, so it might go well for you." There's no taking back what he's said. He's pushed Hyunjin into action and for what?

"Okay. I'll do that then." Hyunjin smiles, eyes soft with thanks. "Thank you."

Felix can't think of a way to respond, mortified by his stupidity to push Hyunjin toward Mia when he still needs to talk to her about what he's feeling. He hasn't even had the chance yet and he's letting the opportunity slip by.

"Yongbokkie!"

Both males turn to see Mia skipping into the kitchen with a grin. The flat look on Felix's face from the use of his other name has her smile faltering.

"Sorry," she says. "Want to walk me back to Chan's apartment?"

Felix glances at Hyunjin, putting on a smile. "Actually, I think Hyunjin would like to go with you if that's okay."

It's easy to see the hurt that flutters across Mia's features before disappearing with the exploding smile she sends to Hyunjin. "Okay. I'm ready to leave when you are, Hyunjinnie." She giggles behind her hand. "I want to be up early tomorrow to get the most out of my visit." Mia transfers her smile to Felix. "Can we spend some time together tomorrow around the city, Lix?"

"Sure," Felix says, returning her smile. It could be an opportunity to talk.

"Great! I'm excited."

Hyunjin wipes his hands on a towel. "I'll go get my shoes on and we can go."

Mia nods. "I'll meet you at the door in a second." She waits until Hyunjin is far enough away before speaking again. "Get some sleep tonight, okay? I don't want to find out your sleeping habits are as bad as Chris'."

"I will, Mia. Thank you for caring."

"I always will, Felix," Mia says as her smile morphs into something sadder. "Don't forget that."

He nods, watching the light in her eyes fade away. He knows he caused it somehow, but he can't go back now. Felix could change his mind, walking her downstairs, but taking away a chance that could make Hyunjin happy is something he can't do. And eventually, Mia will be happy, too. It's better for both of them... But it hurts.

Mia's arms sliding around his middle snap him back into reality. "I'll see you tomorrow, all right? I can meet you here because I think Minho said something about making breakfast for us. But we can go somewhere else to eat if you want."

Felix doesn't hold back when he hugs her, squeezing her close and resting his chin on her shoulder. "Sounds good. I'll see you in the morning then."

They look at each other for a few seconds before Mia steps away from him with a quiet "goodnight." She walks away from him. Away from him and to his friend who greets her at the door with far more enthusiasm needed for that late in the evening.

It's eerily quiet when the door shuts behind Mia and Hyunjin. Felix can't bring himself to move until a horrible feeling of loss washes over him. Did he lose his chance completely? Will she want to talk to him? To listen to him explain what he thinks he's feeling? No, what he knows he's feeling? Or will Hyunjin sweep her off her feet? Before Felix knows it, he's standing in the living room, Chan staring up at him curiously.

"Am I too late?"

"Huh?"

Felix runs his fingers through his hair. "Am I too late to talk to Mia?"

Chan's lips shape and "o" and he narrows his lips in thought. "You'll never know if you don't talk to her, so maybe you aren't. What makes you think you're too late?"

"Hyunjin is walking her to your apartment because I told him to get to know her better... to figure out if he likes her."

It's difficult to keep a stoic face. Hyunjin's plan seems to be working a lot better than he thought. "That doesn't mean you're too late, Felix. He has to break through years of her devotion for you."

"But what if she's tired of waiting? What if Mia doesn't want to... to love me like that anymore?"

"Do you want her to stop?"

"No... Not when... No."

"Then talk to her as soon as you can. It's obvious you like her." Chan has to stop himself from saying "love" because he knows Felix is still deciphering that even though it's clear as day he's in love with Mia, too. "She needs to know that. Mia deserves to know that."

"But what if I can't get it out right for her to understand? I could screw everything up."

Chan shakes his head. "Nah. Even if you mess up or ramble, Mia will understand. Don't worry so much about it, okay? Just tell her. Tomorrow if you can. It'll all work out, okay?"

Felix nods and plops down on the couch, exhaustion hitting him hard. Feelings can be too messy sometimes.

All Chan does is pat his shoulder a few times, a reassurance that no matter what happens, he'll be there to help where he can. It doesn't completely ease Felix's worries, but at least he knows he won't have to deal with the aftermath alone.