#+ i never managed to get far and currently do not have access to the actual game

[waywardsalt]

man i understand jack shit about whatever subtext or depth or whatever there was to wind waker

[h-i-raeth]

Born to be the head cook in a minor noble's household in a medieval-lite fantasy setting, forced to live in a world with phone calls and paperwork instead.

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday - Introductions

A/N: Entirely written on my phone. Apologies for errors!

A/N2: This chapter is mainly an introduction to the setting and the majority of the characters. It'll be different readers for each character (give or take).

Ok, first day, very important to not make an idiot of yourself. That's been your internal mantra for the entire commute. You've been really hoping it'll help you out today.

You've gotten a ticket to take to IT for your new work laptop but you got lost trying to find your way there. You look around at the signs, trying to figure it out when someone gently coughs to get your attention. Turning you see a tall, lean man with short blondish brown hair and light blue eyes.

"Do you need some help?" His accent and soft tone help soothe your nerves.

"Um..." you hesitate. "I'm, I'm trying to find the IT department?"

His eyes widen as he smiles, "you must be the new hire." You nod and he holds out his hand, "I'm Jonathan, manager of the IT department. I'll show you the way."

He talks as he guides you to the one section of the building you hadn't been to yet.

"Here is our own little corner of the world," Jonathan gestures around the open area. "For a new employee you're going to want to talk to Jake." He points to a young man with spiky hair, glasses and a goatee who's talking on the phone.

"Ain't gonna happen for a while." A large bear of a man with a beard and a bald top, wearing a Lynyrd Skinner shirt steps towards you. "He's helping that little old lady on the third floor that never remembers her password."

"Ah, yes," Jonathan winces. "She is quite the talker." He looks to you and introduces the second man as Syverson. "We both run the department but Sy is better at managing the employees while I'm better at convincing the higher ups to give us a better budget."

"One of th' smoothest talkers I've ever worked with," Sy grins. "As far as your laptop, you wait right here an' I'll go get from Walter. He's our main hardware guy. Then we'll get...hmmm." He looks around as he ponders.

"Johnny is currently mid battle with that hacker he keeps toying with," Jonathan muses. "How is Ransom's mood today?"

Sy snorts, "same as always. Definitely don't wanna scare the lady away." He snaps his fingers, "Rogers!"

A head pops out of a cubicle, "you call?"

"Got a new employee," Sy explains. "Gonna need you to help her get her laptop setup." Sy turns and heads to where you're guessing Walter is with the hardware you'll need.

You turn back to where Steve was situated and almost jump at seeing him so close. He's huge but you didn't hear him at all! The big and tall blonde man's eyes are shining with enthusiasm.

He holds out his hand and you introduce yourself. "It's nice to meet you. Not a lot of new people around here lately. I work with the designs for our internal programs. Me and Bucky," he gestures back to his cubicle, "work together on the UX and accessibility stuff for the external website."

"That's impressive," you nod, practically hypnotized by his eyes. And his muscles, if you're being honest with yourself.

Sy returns and hands Steve the laptop. "Follow me," Steve smiles as he turns. You try your best to fight the urge to ogle his ass. It's your first day and you don't want to already make a fool of yourself! No matter how handsome these guys are.

Steve takes you through the setup. He's incredibly patient and kind. Plus his voice could keep your attention forever. He's going through some of the standard company security stuff when there's a knock. You both turn and you see a burly man with a beanie and a beard so full you almost miss the lip piercing.

"Hey, Curtis. What's up?"

"Bucky's out getting another coffee," Curtis starts. "Need you to tell him I've got the code worked out for the next update and need him to check the legacy compatibility."

"Sure thing," Steve nods and Curtis heads back to whenever he'd been.

"Don't you have an internal communications thing for this?" You're surprised that someone has to intervene in the communication.

Steve chuckles as he pulls out his phone. "Bucky never responds to work stuff while he's out, even just to a cafe. But there's a time crunch on this and I'm the only person he'll actually check his phone for."

"Oh," is all you can say.

Steve finishes his text and gets back to your training. When you're done you thank him for everything and he blushes a little.

"If you want I can help you with the physical setup at your desk?" He almost looks like he's pleading for you to say yes.

"It won't be a problem? I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Not at all," he assures. "Besides, I don't want to be here for the upcoming Bucky and Curtis debate."

You giggle nervously, "ok. And thank you!"

Tagging @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82 ; @ronearoundblindly

Also tagging @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory to test if this post is working!

Please let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[inchidentally]

I dw to go too deep into it bc the emotions are too high and the extremes are not fun places to stir up etc etc etc

but the way post Monza felt like a joint experience in misery for Lando and Oscar that they then took a joint approach to with the media, followed by a joint sense of relief and exuberance following this race...

and I always bang on about their joint decision to not do the whole joint content/bromance PR stuff or post when they have down time/social time together and asked to have both their drivers rooms accessible to only each other behind a door barring everyone else - this is exactly why. the job they have to do individually and together is far easier when they can keep fans and media - and Netflix - on the outside and just get on with it in private.

bc there have been drivers in their thirties with 10+ years of experience who haven't kept things as mature and balanced as these two and while the extremes of fandoms and media are projecting melodramas and hatred and conspiracy theories onto them, they deserve way more credit than they're given for maintaining such consistent unity and calm considering they've been thrown into the hottest oil fire situations with a team still struggling to get used to being front runners again, all while only having been teammates a season and a half and both under 25.

like I always say, I keep fully expecting them to at some point be normal and take swipes at each other sometimes and be in a funk w each other for a week or so before being buddies again etc etc the usual stuff for teammates who like each other but are also close rivals on track in a front runner team. and that may still happen and it still won't be cause for alarm for me! but goddamn they've faced some hellish situations and held their composure and traveled home laughing and smiling together each time and showing up for work at the races or MTC beaming into each other's faces. all while never once having a typical PR bromance to uphold/maintain for fans or therefore benefit from. they're just... wanting and choosing to respect and like each other when they literally don't need to do any more than tolerate each other - and could've stuck with rooms opposite management's offices like they used to. with the amount of people desperate for them to hate each other and the fact that teammate rivalries actually generate more engagement and headlines than friendly teammates like, they're (currently) choosing to huddle together and discuss and reach agreement so they can get back out and do the best they can with a team that's still strategically trying to learn how to be at the front again.

[ranposbabe]

Delightful | William James Moriarty x Reader

Chapter 10

Question after question after question.

Yet you wouldn’t receive any answers.

Perhaps it was due to the fact that you could only have the courage to think about them and not even consider whispering them let alone saying them aloud for others to hear.

You definitely won’t find answers here that’s for certain. So far you hadn’t been successful but then again up till now u weren’t actively searching for the truth due to shock. You’re still in shock of course but it is evident that it’s beginning to numbing. There’s no one to confide in. Even if there was you weren’t sure of who or even where to find them.

Either way you knew it wasn’t a pub or a market.

There’s nothing here in the manor that will solve it. That was proven rather quicker when you first met William rather upbrutly. You’re just glad the situation hasn’t been brought up since. Come to think of it you were also glad you hadn’t seen Albert of late since you did in fact finish his bottle of wine that night. You didn’t even consider how expensive it was.

But you were desperate and where can desperate people find answers when they no longer have access to a phone ?

Books. “I know !” You practically jump up from the small bed.

“I’ll pay William a visit !”

From what you understood, William is a mathematician. Of course maths couldn’t help you get anywhere but a university must have books in other fields of subjects. Maybe just maybe you’d find something small to help guide you on your way. But as you managed to find yourself there you couldn’t help but look all around you to stare on in awe.

It was so different compared to your own personal experience in education.

Well obviously, it wasn’t like you ever attended the university of Durham but still.

People were walking around rather cheerfully in groups chatting loud as the rarely bright sun shined down on all. An atmosphere you’ve never really experienced before. The architecture also slightly threw you off. From what you remembered from your time buildings like this were extremely old and new buildings were plain and simple, practically dull compared to the old ones.

But how were you suppose to find the library if you couldn’t run into every single room of the building ? It would only take a matter of time before you’d be recognised as a trespasser. “Come on lads !” You hear from near you in the courtyard.

You were quick to run around a corner, making sure to not be noticed.

Hiding behind a wall, you peek around to only spot a young student walking towards two other students, looking rather eager.

“We have professor Moriarty’s class soon !”

Your eyes widen at their words. You were quick to follow them from a distance. You watched on as the students walked into you assumed a classroom.

But just as they walked in they were quick to leave again. You assume maybe they had time until class started so they simply left they’re belonging in the room so they could go continue freely about for however long. You took slow steps into the empty classroom, simply blown away at the sight. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but definitely not this.

The room was too enormous to process, you struggled to believe this was a genuine classroom.

Even when you timidly walked upon the high steps onto the balcony, you couldn’t believe the quality of the room.

Your fingers run against the wooden bannister. Of course as you sat down there was now only one thing to do.

Sleep.

As some time passed your eyes begin to flutter and your senses heighten at the sound of chatter. You nearly gasped when you realised. The class was currently taking place. When you looked down you could only stare on at the sight of William teaching seemingly a dozen students.

Maybe it was near the end of the class ? You hoped it was. You did contemplate just simply walking out but you were quick to realise the room was filled with just young men and you would stick out like a sore thumb if you left now.

But you couldn’t help but wonder how did no one notice you at all ? You were sat at the very back off on the side where you’d actually stand out more so were no students bored of this class ?

You were and you’re not even a student.

There was no way that William was teaching that good that no student of his was bored ? Was he ?

Even when you squint your eyes to no avail, you still couldn’t make out what was on the board. He looked so…confident. In himself. He didn’t speak quietly and his voice wasn’t demanding yet it was clear and from what you could tell just by peering at the students even though some seemed tired they all listened and watched William like a hawk.

For a moment you could only lay your head in your arms in defeat as you realised that you were stuck here.

You didn’t really think about him having that effect on others. William had his back turned to the students as he wrote an equation on the board.

“And perhaps even then-

William for once mistakenly looked up to his right just at the exact moment you raised your head from your strained arms. It was as if time has frozen as you both locked eyes with one another. His eyes squinting up at you while your eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights.

Just like that William finished the class and as students began to pack up to leave you were rather quick to look away and avoid those unreal eyes staring you down.

William acknowledged all students before they left the room and you hoped that he would soon follow. He did not.

“So you really are a professor ?” You ask, gripping onto your long skirt hoping William didn’t notice the slight trip in your step as you carefully made your way down. He did. “Did you assume I was being dishonest about my occupation ?”

He asked, placing his hands behind his back as if he were still teaching like the professional that he is.

“I though you were just covering up for another job, I don’t know.” You simply shrug, briefly turning back to look around the huge room.

Of course, you missed the slight smirk evident on Williams face that was wiped away as soon as you faced him again. “I thought Louis had you doing chores this morning ?” Williams ask, gathering the dozen sheets of paper left on his desk. “He did ! He even wrote me a list but I left before I even started.” You smirk proudly. You weren’t even going to deny it.

Instead of walking by William’s side you opted for just simply following behind him like a lost puppy. Although you managed to get to the university with no problems, as the evening grew late and the sky began to darken you weren’t completely sure how to find your way back.

Minutes go by walking in silence with no conversation taking place between the two of you. You partly did want to indulge yourself in small talk but yet the words simply didn’t come out of your mouth. But even peeking a glance at William’s face he didn’t seem that keen on the idea either. Maybe he had a rough day ? Were his lessons really that short or was it cut short because of you ?

Yeah, silence was the better option.

But silence didn’t last long as you heard William greeting someone, you looked up to the sight of William speaking happily to Louis. You wonder if maybe they always met up on the way home.

You look around from behind William giving Louis a little wave all the while he simply returns a raised brow along with a scoff. There was a part of you that thought if the others had noticed you had left, in particular you were curious about Louis. But by a simple glance at the annoyance that shined through his glasses you guessed he somehow anticipated you once again leaving.

Although maybe he wasn’t anticipating your return ? It was evident now.

Maybe you shouldn’t sneak out anymore.

If you wish to be added to the taglist please comment below to let me know!!!

TAGLIST: @elvyshiarieko @queenofspades403 @rayonfirethe2nd @simpy-geli-lol @phoenix666stuff @lindoasd @silveredwood @nimuelis

[spiderbeam]

I hate the condescending way some people talk about Colapinto in regards to his performance. From the beginning I saw so many people say basically "oh they're throwing this poor little nobody directly into an F1 car just to fail" , "He's going to fail so hard it will ruin his career" And then he showed up...and he is doing super well...

I can't help but sense that the condescending tone comes from a place of prejudice because Franco is Latin and some people can't catch the stereotypes they foster every single time they talk about him. How can you not see what it looks like to say "Oh they took our precious little meow meow Logan and they put this guy from Argentina and he's PROBABLY going to fail because why would he be any good" and say that and not catch how incredibly xenophobic you sound. I see it so often it's embarrassing I swear

yeah i agree tbh. the hate that exists towards franco DEFINITELY has some xenophobic/racist undertones, and it’s really sad to say that i’m not really surprised??? i mean checo’s been dealing with similar comments for a while now :/

i think i made a post a little while ago about this, but the rumors that franco only got into f1 because he was a pay driver honestly sounded so much like the rumors about checo only keeping his redbull seat during this second half of the season because of the mexican gp/sponsors. like isn’t it funny that people think that the two pay drivers on the grid happen to be the two latin american ones 🙂 like the racism is not even subtle at this point.

+ if i might add it also feels a lot like people are just waiting for the moment franco makes a mistake. like if you checked out the comments after franco’s crash in free practice you could just see people jumping on the opportunity to shit on him. and it’s apparently so easy to forget that franco:

previous to monza, franco had only done a total of 8 consecutive laps on an f1 car.

franco has never raced in baku before.

a year ago franco was driving for f3.

people were so quick to jump on the bandwagon that giving logan’s seat to franco would ruin him and that he would never make it, and yet he’s clearly succeeding thus far? even if he ends up p20 tomorrow, franco and his team have been repeating this time and time again: this is a learning experience from him. there is a learning curve.

finally!!!! i also wanna add a little something checo mentioned in an interview yesterday. he said that he had a heart to heart with franco because he knows that representing your country as a driver from latam is so drastically different from being a european driver. people tend to forget that the world of motorsport is so much more easily accessible to drivers that are from europe—i mean look at the grid—but also that drivers that are from latam that are currently making it have had to sacrifice so much to get there. that’s not to say the other drivers haven’t. but you see stories of franco having to sleep in factories when he was a teenager to cut costs. you see a teen checo having to live in a restaurant an ocean away from home, unable to make calls to his family because they were too expensive and sponsors wouldn’t cover the costs.

drivers from latam have their entire country—if not the entire continent—standing behind them. it’s why checo could break into motorsport in the first place. why franco managed to make it into f2. and honestly i am so sick of hearing racist comments about the two of them i just block people when it comes up. anyways.

you can rip them from my cold dead hands

[zahri-melitor]

A Quick, Somewhat Joking Discussion of 'the Best Ways To Get Into Comics' (TM)

Be 10-14 years old, pick up a random comic at the library/bookshop/someone's collection and become obsessed. This is proven the best method and the level of confusion engendered by it is actually more useful long term than any other method. (At that age you are going to fall deeply in love with random texts that are never going to quite have the depth your brain imparts on them)

Mention to a friend who does like comics that you want to 'get into comics' and said friend, knowing your preferred types of tv shows and books, your favourite characters and having asked what you're hoping to read, carefully picks out something that is objectively a good starter comic that fits your tastes and makes your brain go brrrr. (god tier level, that friend is a keeper, also congratulations on the fact you are never going to replicate the feel of reading that first comic again)

Lurk or hang out in some fandom space where you are regularly exposed to discussions of comics that includes actual panels and storylines of recent comics, and work out from that what seems to have a vibe you like, so you go and pick up that run (solid option, being able to taste various writers and styles of run before diving in gives you a better chance of choosing a run that hooks you, I was introduced to so many runs via scans_daily in this way back in the day).

Wander into a library or comic shop or bookshop that has a decent number of comics with the idea that you want to look into reading these, and then flip through a bunch of trades in what you think you want to read before something catches your eye and you pick that up (less likely to be a definite hook, but has the benefit of being far more likely than any option listed further below to involve newbie-friendly art. And newbie-friendly art is something that isn't discussed enough in terms of recommendations but is one of the biggest reasons people just getting into comics bounce off the format).

Only here will I mention recommended character reading guides. In my experience they're useful in certain contexts, particularly for characters who have hard-to-trace chronologies, for finding out what runs that person considers essential to the character, for untangling the order of comics in particularly confusing large events, and for narrowing down and directing people where there's a big chunk of material to read about a character. My objection is they tend to be treated like gospel by newbies, they frequently don't consider whether the artwork is going to make their eyes burn, quite often they are more focused on the 'best' stories for a character rather than the 'most accessible stories' for that character (these are two separate concepts!) and they tend to sell a narrative of 'don't read X' where X is quite often a comic which people don't enjoy but where an important event happens or is simply an older comic that's particularly affected by community expectations and standards having changed since it was written.

You know that '75 Years of Comics' series of prestige hardbacks that DC did? They're great to hand to a newbie looking to get into a specific character or mantle, because it's got stand alone stories that are highly regarded or solidly introductory about that character from each era, they can page through it and work out what version makes their brain happy, and then follow up on those leads into more reading. (Expensive but perfect for libraries)

The first trade of a recent run for the character in question by the current or second most recent writer. Most runs when they change lead writers are going to have some level of onboarding simply because a lot of people DO switch what they're reading depending on what team is on the book, and by going with a current run you manage to sidestep a lot of the 'this feels weird and old' problems.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Apologies if this is a dumb question but

Elliots house is Gretas childhood home correct?

Is Mays house the house Toby and Virgil built?

If not what happened to it? Did it get torn down or are they all out meandering around town and Virgil just casually points to the house like 'i helped build that house.' And Logans like 'I cant even get you to do the dishes...??. What?' Lol

not a dumb question, there is a story here i just havent gotten around to it

the gage property is not just the house and the surrounding lawn and a bit into the trees - its very large and encompasses more than 50 acres, mostly of woods, and includes virgil's clearing.

because of the nature of witches and their property, it does that blair-witch thing ive covered where things move around. what this also means is that, like the clearing vs the house, some areas are more accessible than others.

the wooden house that virgil and toby built had no running water and only a chimney for heat. it was well made, for the time, because niether of them would have done less, but it was definitely not a modern house.

late in mays childhood (probably honestly ongoing during Mayflower, or very soon after) Trudi was having a new house built, which is the brick house that appears in the current timeline of laoft

the old wooden house is still *there*, but its so far from where the modern road was build, way back on the property, that it becomes hard to access without Roman or May physically with you. its the most unused part of the property, and difficult to just stumble across

May and Roman only use it as a hunting blind, because its not in *great* repair, but its like 95% still standing

At some point, i'd like to write a fic where Virgil goes with them hunting, and sees it, but its just never managed to make its way to the front of my basically-infinite queue XD

[serpensortiamaxima]

What a delightful drama I've woken up to this morning, eh? I still have thoughts I've not seen being brought up so buckle up.

People aren't upset about the summer update. That whole thing is a symptom, not the cause. What people are upset about is the state of the game itself and how much it is lacking and has been lacking since the beginning.

In the past decade or so, we have gotten more and more accustomed to being sold unfinished games, but with the promise that "don't worry we'll patch it in later updates", and then this never happened. In fact, if Hogwarts Legacy had been an excellent game with its holes patched up and they decided to grant us this free update? The reception would have been, much, much better.

And, excuse the harshness but I do wonder how capitalism-rotten your brain has to be to miss that it's about the principle rather than the update itself. We should not allow corporations to get away with always giving less and less to their clients. Ever. And I can already hear the counter argument of "you can't always get what you want!" and again, that's not my point.

The point is that corporations aim for cost effectiveness. Especially for a free update, they're not going to look at what the community wants really, they will pick the one thing that requires the least time and the least resources because they will have to pay for the time and production cost of a new feature. They know that free updates don't bring in new players. A free update is a way to do community management and get some hype, it might bring in some sales, but never enough to make profit.

Customers aren't upset about the update itself, they're experiencing now the frustration about the game they've always put on the side so far, due to this habit I've mentioned above, of expecting fixes and patches and regular updates from a game, especially one so recently released.

It only takes a quick glance at what's happening with EA in general to see a similar pattern of new content being botched or overpriced, only to receive intense backlash. And that backlash is necessary. Staying complacent and simply accepting your fate as a gamer customer is exactly what corporations are hoping for, because then they don't have to do more. They receive this feedback that it's fine, that they can just do the bare minimum and expect their customer base to eat up the new content in gratefulness. Really? Do we really want to trigger this loop of always getting less and less for something that not only has been bought but that the customers don't even own?

This isn't a Hogwarts Legacy issue, it's an industry wide trend, and we should recognize it as such.

Now, to my last point: mods. I got into modding Skyrim in 2013. Both as an avid user of mods and sometimes to make my own light tweaks for storytelling. For the most part, I'm mostly a mod user and every single time a game I played could be modded, I did so. My current Skyrim save is running on over 200 of them. I only ever play vanilla when I have no other choice. I've quickly touched on the topic yesterday by pointing out how modding requires a healthy and thriving community to work.

There are two main factors to achieve those requirements:

The company behind the game needs to support making mods for their games.

A big and interested customer base

And I guess the hidden third requirement is the coding language and how accessible it is. But I digress. My understanding of the modding community for HL is that it is very small, and therefore limited and that Portkey/Avalanche hasn't provided any resources for modders.

And so, I don't think we'll see a thriving community for HL any time soon, at least not of the comparable kind. And for me, personally, it means that the kind of gamechanging mods I would want to see simply aren't going to happen.

The kind of mods I tend to use are very immersion-focused to allow for a real roleplaying experience, that would include the ability to create new animations, to assign additional dialogues to NPCs, additional routing for NPCs within the map, to allow the player to completely ignore the main quest if they wanted to etc. And I'm afraid that HL is built in such a way that it doesn't have this flexibility even for an experienced mod creator but especially not if the modding community for the game is too small. A lot of these things would require a lot of time, a lot of code, and ton of testing and beta play.

And that doesn't mean that there can't be good mods made, but if the player base wanted to have more mods of a very high quality, we would still need to put pressure on Avalanche to tell them that if they're not ready to provide us with new content, the least they could do is make modding more accessible on their game.

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

[jplupineislost]

This....sucks.

So I've briefly mentioned some of this stuff before but given my current circumstances, I think some transparency might be needed. I could potentially be homeless soon and I'm at the end of my rope.

Under the cut will be how I ended up in this position with some potentially triggering topics [harassment, assault, abuse] Links to help me keep my home are at the very end if you want to skip the triggering parts.

Around two years ago, I was living in an apartment with my mother through government assisted housing. Between the both of us, our combined incomes were far beneath the poverty line even for a one person household. We're both disabled, so our methods of getting income are limited. The apartment became a health hazard to my mother because of neighbors stealing packages that contained medical supplies and upstairs neighbors nearly constantly smoking cigarettes and weed with the smoke coming down to our apartment through the connected vents.

The smoke was so strong that it stuck to our clothes and doctors would run secret drug tests because they thought we were lying about not doing drugs. We both have asthma, but mine is not as severe whereas Ma also has COPD and was having to do daily breathing treatments due to the smoke. We did everything we could to get it to stop including contacting management to see if they could talk to the neighbors about smoking outside instead of inside; we were essentially told we either had to just deal with it or move. This is on top of the same neighbors causing several floods from their apartment into ours. Given our financial situation, there was nowhere we could go.

Ma's health started getting worse from the smoke to the point that her doctor's told us that we needed to move or she could be put in a home. So with no money to live anywhere else, it was looking as if Ma would be taken away and I would be left homeless.

Our situation was taken advantage of by someone Ma thought she could trust. An old friend she had known and lost contact with but found again years later had agreed to help us move by all three of us getting a house and splitting the bills based on income. It seemed like the perfect solution; space, no more smoke, and the ability to install disability aids- the apartments had not allowed us to make the apartment accessible, which led to several injuries over the time we lived there. I had managed to save income tax + stimulus money that was just enough for a home inspection and other necessary expenses, so I covered those with the agreement that Ma's friend would pay me back for his part. He never did.

We managed to get a house- one that turned out to not even be up to code but it was too late to back out now, which put me into dept with loans to fix. There are still many repairs needing to be done, but those have no choice but to wait.

Moving in, MF said the place he lived prior had bedbugs but he had treated his things already so not to worry about it. He lied. The back bedroom got an infestation we had no money to get rid of, leaving us to resort to cheap sprays that did very little. It also became quickly apparent that MF was incredibly irresponsible with money; he would spend hundreds of dollars on unnecessary expenses from video game loot to luxury items. He frequently was late on bills that usually fell to me to pay off with whatever savings I had, so anytime I had a savings, it would be gone shortly after so that things like utilities would not be cut off.

Conflict and arguments became common over various things. MF was barely less than a stranger to me, but I tried to be polite and get to know him. The more I talked to him, the more I became uncomfortable. He was a sexist pig who laughed about beating one of his exes.

And now we were stuck living with him. MF is also disabled and took advantage of that as well. He was manipulative and would put up the image of 'poor disabled white man' to get out of trouble who knows how many times at this point. Ma secretly got into contact with some of his past partners and people who lived with him, and they had pretty consistent stories; he made their lives Hell. He called them all crazy and jealous, but given the fact that he was also making our lives Hell, it was clear he was a liar. Every time he got caught lying and called out on it, he tried to gaslight us.

MF escalated his behavior knowing we had nowhere else to go and no money to do so. He tried pushing boundaries with me, getting too close when I was bent over and had my hands preoccupied or when I wore certain clothes. I would immediately tell him to not get that close to me and he would react negatively with anger and trying to make it out as if I was overreacting.

My mother is not as confident in enforcing boundaries as I am. She wanted to 'keep the peace' but was being abused when I wasn't in the room. I didn't find out until much later when she ended up physically injured with bruised ribs. This was also when her doctors found out how dangerous our living situation was.

Then Ma had major surgery for health related reasons. She was in and out of the ICU for over a week recovering, and the entire time, MF was going to the hospital and telling the doctors/nurses all sorts of lies from being Ma's boyfriend to husband, took me off her emergency contact, and refused to tell me what was happening to her. MF would up and leave without warning, and because of my work and other factors, I could not go see Ma while he was there. One day I told MF that we would go see Ma together so that I could actually get to see her in recovery.

The next morning when we were supposed to go, he left early by himself without saying a word. I had to take my little brother to work 'cause he didn't have a car and had to prioritize that so my brother wouldn't lose pay or his job. When I got to the hospital afterward, I had a suspicion and went to the front desk to ask where Ma was before I went anywhere. Found out then that MF had also lied about what room Ma was in. When I get there, a nurse was checking on Ma and asks who I am. I tell him, and he turns to MF and asks "Is this the one you said wasn't coming?" I was seething. Ended up having a breakdown shortly after because I finally learned what all was happening with Ma.

Ma's doctors and social workers, after several months, were able to find a way to get MF out of the house. He was given the options of leaving and owing only $500 a month in mortgage or being taken away by police. He didn't leave until the day before he would be forcibly removed. He stole several items of ours while leaving junk and spare furniture behind. Him leaving behind furniture was not out of kindness, but another way to lie and play the victim to people who didn't know what was happening. 'They kicked me out and stole my things' is the gist of what he told others so they would pity him and give him money/luxury items.

Since he was only obligated to pay $500 in mortgage, Ma and I had to figure out how to pay the bills he had been covering while living there. We managed it, but we could not cover that $500 with our incomes. MF did not pay that $500 and hasn't in over a year. We've been scrambling month after month to cover it. I got a better job and still can't cover it. We tried to seek legal action to hold MF to his contractual obligation of the $500....he put himself into a temporary hold at a mental clinic to be deemed 'incompetent' at the time. He's hopped around places to not be found, all the while threatening us and trying to sell the house while we're still living here.

He told us that he only has to wait it out until we have no choice left but to sell the house and he'll get his cut due to being a partial 'buyer'. Several times he even showed up without warning, coming into the fenced yard, digging through our trash, and getting into the shed. He only stopped as far as we know when threatened with the police.

For the past year, we've been struggling to cover his $500 and facing potential homelessness every month. We've been managing by the skin of our teeth, but it's looking as if our options are running out. Then with him trying to sell the house from under us, he may be able to succeed if we can't pay the mortgage, which will get him even more money than what he's already stolen from us. We're working on taking him off the mortgage, but that is taking time we may not have. We also can't legally get a roommate due to our state laws.

So I'm asking for help. If y'all could commission me, get stickers/magnets/etc. from my Redbubble shop, or donate through my Ko-fi, that would be greatly appreciated. Even just reblogging could help. I'm doing whatever I can to not lose my home.

Comm Info | Ko-fi | Shop | Adopts

[oshiawaseni]

How I got the ChatGPT A.I. to admit Katsuki is in love with Izuku

Uhh... My friend has got me onto AI chat recently, and yesterday I was messing around with it, because I wanted to see if I can get A.I chat to come to the conclusion of bkdk canon, if I tell it additional context it doesn't know because it's cut off point is September 2021 and things between bkdk hadn't progressed too far at that point.

One thing to note: it constantly reminds me that it doesn't "have an opinion" it just forms objective analysis on the characters and the events. So I try to evolve this objective analysis as I went along the list of events that lead to Katsuki's death to see if a single detail of it might change it's 'objective analysis' on whether they will become canon.

The AI has a limited ability to use new information you tell it to string together an updated verdict. So that's what I did. And I used more and more details of Katsuki's death to Shigaraki as the context for the question. Because that's what convinced ME BkDk would become canon. As I was telling it details, I felt like I was pretty much only getting knockbacks. Until I finally had a single success. I also asked it the "kiss" question for those invested in a bkdk kiss. :)

However, at the end I did manage to find out why I got that one success, and the response it gave me is CHEFS KISS. So I will try to explain our conversation as best I can with some screenshots. This is long but, hopefully it's an interesting tale to read! This experiment also made me realise A.I. chat is crazy intelligent at communication.

So I got a negatory right off the bat and think: Since it only knows events up until a certain date, maybe I can tell it about some events that happen and see how it views Katsuki's and Izuku's behaviour?

I asked it what chapter it has access to and it said chapter 326. So it at least knows about the bkdk apology. (But it never factors this moment into it's analysis)

It also repeats this line a lot "It's ultimately up to Kohei Horikoshi." Which is true, I should probably try to re-do our conversation at some point and tell it it doesn't need to repeat this point, because it does become repetitive. Depending on your question it'll end it's answer with a "it's up to the reader interpretation." or "it's up to the creator."

I corrected it that it was chapter 322, but it only remembers details you tell it in your current chat. It, as an AI , can't learn from you for it's interactions with others. Oh well. Probably for the best...

"Midoriya forgives him and the two share a hug." This take is interesting. I never really thought about that. For Izuku they very much have a "there's nothing to forgive" dynamic, but in Katsuki exposing himself and letting down his walls, Izuku definitely felt safe enough to let his own walls down too and responded to Katsuki by apologising for his own behaviour, wanting to be close to Kacchan - stumbling towards him as he was passing out.

The anime clearly shows Izuku wanting, or needing a moment of intimacy with Kacchan that he's never had before, and Katsuki feeling the same way, catches him. So maybe there's forgiveness in that, in Izuku realising Katsuki was finally telling him it was okay for Izuku to be by his side, and that he wants him there.

Another way you can make sense of the AI's answer is that Kacchan needed to have Izuku's forgiveness, despite there being nothing to forgive for Izuku. And Izuku senses this, so he steps towards him to hug him or be closer to him and tell him it's all okay, but his fatigue cuts his desires short and Kacchan, noticing those desires, as he notices everything about Izuku *swoon*, holds him up. Yeah. I like that one too! Talking to AI about bkdk is a fun brain exercise, I'm not gonna lie.

I ask the AI if I can tell it more details of bkdk relevant to "will it become canon" and it replies that it will do it's best to provide it's objective analysis as it learns these new details.

It misunderstands some things such as when events happen but I find that kinda irrelevant to what I was doing, so don't mind these mistakes.

Btw, if I cut off the ss early, it's only because it's saying bkdk being canon is still vague/unknown, and the decision is for Horikoshi Kohei. This can be repetitive to read, so I cut it out. Like I said I'll probably re-do this conversation where I fix some of it's errors/clarify my context better.

It's not biting yet, so I tell it to give me an objective analysis considering the new things I say, and it understood this.

Then I test it:

Good, it can recall previous things I've said in the chat.

remain platonic." (Then it goes into another spiel about Hori being the decision maker.)

At least it said it was possible their relationship "could develop into a romantic one." So I gave it a little positive feedback :P

It's answer remains unaffected... so I go further into what happens.

It doesn't bite again. But I like how it says that he feels a sense of responsibility towards Izuku. That pulled on my heart a little bit...

But with my next context everything changes.

Turns out Katsuki getting up to "impress" Izuku was this AI's tipping point. It's got the wrong idea about "protecting Izuku" but it's also not wrong (which I clarify now and again later) Anyway, Katsuki wanting to be strong to impress the Izuku who loves him for never giving up, tipped this AI's scales towards romance, it would seem lol.

I dramatically clarify that Izuku is not at the battlefield, and ask if this changes it's mind about it's previous analysis. Spoiler alert. It doesn't.

I tell it more context about how Izuku isn't in time to save Katsuki and what happens to Katsuki: How his quirk evolution scares AFO inside Shigaraki, and ultimately is the cause of his heart exploding when he takes a blow to his chest. The vision in the white realm. His regret of not getting All Might to sign the card, and his memories of Izuku when he first got it. And the way he died, but I also told the AI that it is assumed he will be brought back to life.

I also mentioned (image count maxed out sorry, so I gotta type this):

"Meanwhile, we have some panels of Katsuki thinking about how much his body hurts, and reminiscing about that being the path Izuku walked down. He reaches out to the reader on the page, thinking the words. "Hey... Izuku... Can I still catch up to you?"

It ignores most of the details I told it here, but just adds in that Katsuki's strong emotional connection gave him determination to keep fighting and his quirk awakening. I really liked that. Because that's how I see it too.

Like when I got to the end of chapter 360, I was reminded of this scene in Sailor Moon S where Usagi is completely beaten but doesn't stop trying to transform into Super Sailor Moon, even though she doesn't have the chalice anymore. That was the first time I realised, this fight between sAFO and Katsuki had a vibe of Sailor Moon. And then that feeling hit me again when Izuku arrived and I made my 367 comparison to Sailor Moon Stars. Since then other bkdks have posted/talked about their own comparisons between BkDk and Sailor Moon/shoujo tropes. It felt very vindicating that others could see this about them too. ^_^

So it doesn't know what direction the series will head in, but it at least acknowledges that these events can be viewed as romantic. That's far better than your average mha fan, if you ask me... LOL

I wonder if I had worded this better and said "exploded heart" It would have gave me a different answer.

Bonus: So for fun just now, after rewording my question (a few times) for clarity, I finally got a pretty relevant response.

Anyway, going back to where we left off, I had just told it about the volume cover... and then I went into the topic of Gentle and La Brava showing up in the manga not long after Katsuki died. I misquoted Gentle (oops!)

So Gentle and La Brava are basically what is known in Japan as a "baka couple" that dotes on each other and describes their love for each other in great amount of detail - what I like about this answer is it's saying that by juxtaposing the baka couple with BkDk, who stay vague and barely define their feelings for each other ever, it highlights the tension and ambiguity going on between bkdk even more. I can also get behind this reasoning for it and add it in my La/Gentle meta. Wow, bot you're helpful!

Bonus: Just now, I tried to fix my mistake and rewote the question again and had to generate it's answer twice for this one. Good Bot! This, I can accept.

This is the only time I've regenerated any answers! I only took it's first answer this whole convo. But out of interest I'll probably regenerate more answers in future to see what other opinions it can formulate about a subject. It probably can come up with a wide range of perspectives, but only focuses on a very limited one for it's answer ^^

I like that it can identify that BkDk are having these same romantic tropes that Gentle/La Brava are talking about. AI Chat is amazing. Moving along...

At this point I'm feeling pretty content with our conversation so far, and I decide to ask it one more controversial question bkdks are quite passionate about:

A decent answer. I interpret this as "It's possible for a kiss, if Hori knows how to pull it off right." So maybe this is good news for BkDk Kiss enthusiasts! I'll be happy with a loving hug or a kiss, I don't mind at all, as long as they're canon at the end! lol :)

And now we come to the very last thing I say to it. I was happy to engage with an AI about bkdk, but something was bothering me.

Over the course of our conversation, the AI has told me "It's up to author." multiple times about whether bkdk will become canon... However, there was one time it said something different, and that my context "further supports the idea that Katsuki has romantic feelings for Izuku."

So I ask it to clarify one more time what it meant by that, and it slowly writes out this response:

WOW. What an answer. It blew my mind. "wants to be the best version of himself for him." This is some impressive stuff! ALSO THE BOT WAS NOW CALLING KATSUKI'S BEHAVIOUR FLIRTATIOUS?

But now I wasn't sure, I've never seen the bot say stuff like this. I wanted to clarify what behaviour it meant. Like whether it had misunderstood something I said about the way Katsuki died. But I had a feeling it was talking about Katsuki's tsundere behaviour! And so I asked it what it meant, and the most amazing thing happened...

The answer was written very slowly compared to before, as if the bot had to scrape a lot of information to form a well written response, and this is what it said!:

WITHOUT MY PROMPTING IT HAD BASICALLY CALLED UPON KATSUKI'S TSUNDERE BEHAVIOUR FOR IZUKU THROUGHOUT THE SHOW

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES.

HIS COMPETETITIVE NATURE?

HIS PROTECTIVENESS TOWARDS HIM?

HIS ///JEALOUSY// OF OTHERS GETTING CLOSE TO IZUKU ??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???

HOW DO YOU *KNOW* ABOUT ALL THIS, AI-SAMA?!!! I SCREAMED READING ALL THIS. Even most bkdks don't really talk about Katsuki being jealous of others getting close to Izuku??? Wow. I was VERY impressed.

This answer was so different to everything it's told me before. The AI actually understands Katsuki as a character, and combined this understanding with my new information about him getting up to win for Izuku.

On a very surface level, it understood that Katsuki wanting to impress him in this case, is a core feature that's apart of Katsuki's overall behaviour towards Izuku and associated them together. Which meant that for it's answer, it could draw on Katsuki's other behaviours in it's knowledge bank, viewing them in whole. And it recognised that despite everything having gone wrong for him and knowing it was futile, Katsuki still had the determination to stand up and win for Izuku and impress him anyway, which especially made this an action of Katsuki's love towards Izuku that the AI can acknowledge as being about more than just mere friendship.

(Wew, that was a mouthful! Hopefully it kinda makes sense? I hope?)

And that is how I got an AI Chat to agree with us. A.I Chat is a bkdk, confirmed. Neeee, AI-sama?

[copperbadge]

Current Events Reading Reccs

I had a couple of people asking me about my “current events” reading in general (news aggregators, podcasts, etc) so I figured I’d just list them off here. 

I don’t read any tumblrs that are specifically focused on current events, I just kinda get news from various people I’ve followed, but I’ve found in general it helps to find people for whom the news is a hobby, not a consuming habit. I have communists and anarchists and prison abolitionists on my dash, but they aren’t people who have made that their identity, which removes the “You are insufferable” factor. So I guess find fandom weirdos with strong political views and follow ‘em. 

Also I want to state at the top that part of why I’m on top of shit that I get through Tumblr is that I have a policy of never reblogging or reacting to anything until I have 1. read the article being linked and 2. done my own research. This has saved me a vast deal of embarrassment, because sometimes I’ll save something outrageous to research and before I can even research it, it’s been rebutted. I cannot stress how important the process of reading and research is -- you can’t get your news from headlines and particularly not clickbait you see on Tumblr. 

As far as I know there’s no single tumblr clearinghouse for good high-level current events reporting and analysis (the analysis I think is a vital part) but if folks have resources they use, drop ‘em in the comments or reblogs.  

Anyway, some mailing lists I belong to are:

Quartz Daily Brief: finance and tech, mainly. Back when they were for-pay I paid for them, this newsletter was that entertaining. I believe they’ve now gone fee-free but they sometimes link to paywalls. I get it as an email newsletter, that’s just a link to the web version. 

Breakfast with ARTNews: Obviously a bit niche but I really like keeping up with the art world and they cover art crime too. The link is to the all-newsletters signup page, I only belong to Breakfast. 

The Futurist: This is the most insufferable nonsense masquerading as news ever. The ads are indistinguishable from the content. But it does help me keep a finger hard on the pulse of what irritating tech bros are into. Watch scams unfold in real time! 

I also follow a number of local interests -- community centers and neighborhood organizations primarily -- in Chicago, so those are always good to hunt up. Most major cities have a “citycast” podcast (just search “citycast [your city]” in your podcatcher) that is also good for local news.  

Some websites:

Longreads: Since longform.org went under, the best place to find the current longform pieces that everyone’s talking about.  

Brand Eating: Extremely niche, but I really love reading about “brand” food trends. It covers new food releases and sales and such in the areas of packaged food (potato chips, candy, etc), fast food, and casual dining. It’s also great as a resource for cheap eats. 

I stopped reading Bon Appetit recently (they ran this appallingly sympathetic story about a dickhead hiring manager) but like, honestly, if you want to track food trends, the BA email newsletter is kinda the way to go. If you’d like good food news in podcast form, I recommend The Sporkful (it’s in the podcast list). 

I used to read the Chicago Tribune, New York Times, and Fortune Magazine (which mostly scraped the not-awful stuff from Forbes) but I’ve cut it down to just the Trib; I don’t really need Fortune to keep me current and the NYT has morphed into a creepy proto-fash nightmare. The Trib has pretty good national/international coverage so if you don’t have a decent local paper it’s not bad, but I don’t know how much access you get as a nonpaying reader (I subscribe). 

Podcasts:

Quartz has a podcast, Quartz Obsession, which is off-and-on in terms of when episodes come out but very interesting when they do. 

Planet Money is a once-weekly podcast about economics, and has a daily show called “The Indicator” which is daily “small bites” current events coverage. 

The Late Show and the Daily Show both have an “ears edition” podcast that’s just the show audio; I’ve stopped listening for the most part but if you want good cultural commentary, that’s the place to go. 

The Journal by the Wall Street Journal is a weekly podcast focusing on one or two news stories, generally pretty relevant. 

Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me is a panel show but it’s a fun way to get bite-sized news you can look up later in more detail if you want. And it’s taped in Chicago! If you listen you can hear me in the audience laughing. :D (I’m going to another taping in a few weeks!) 

Behind The Bastards is actually a history podcast but if you’re listening current he does a bit of current-events commentary, and also I just really like it as a podcast.

Stuff You Should Know is a trivia podcast but they occasionally do current-events stuff.

The Sporkful is pretty good about current food news, although I run hot and cold on it.

I used to listen to a really good “professional” medical podcast, but it went full paywall when it started to offer certain forms of professional credit, so I found The House Of Pod as a very good free replacement. It’s not really for non-doctors, but as a non-doctor I still find it accessible and informative. (For medical history and curiosity, I do highly recommend Bedside Rounds, but I wouldn’t call it a current events cast.) 

So that’s how I get my news -- it’s not what I would call fully comprehensive but it’s reasonably informative! 

[meraki24601]

would you write something where caretaker and whumpee are siblings (whumpee is the smaller) who haven’t spoken in years because of a fight. but the caretaker gets a new job at this rich man’s mansion (whumper) and finds that the little pet they keep talking about is actually human and guess what it’s their brother

Hello friend! It's a bit of a slow starter, but I hope you like it!

-----------*-***-*-----------

A New Pet

I finally found a decent job. After three years of living paycheck to paycheck, seeing a decent amount of money in my bank account felt terrific. Real adult money!

Things had been rough after I left my family. I can’t say I never regretted the way I went. Nearly a year had passed before I could admit my parents were abusive. But they weren’t the reason I left. My parents meant nothing to me. All I needed was Whumpee, my younger sibling. 

It’s ironic how Whumpee ended up being the reason I left.

Nothing could have prepared me for them to turn on me. We argued worse than our parents ever had. One loud, cruel argument. I honestly can’t remember what we were fighting about. It didn’t matter then and still doesn’t now. They abandoned me when I needed them, and that was that. 

Living is hard when you’re on your own. I found a couple people from school who liked me enough to let me live with them until I found an apartment. From there, I worked my way up. Fast food, temporary janitor, full-time janitor, temporary house management, and, finally, full-time personal assistant. Considering how things started, three years was surprisingly quick to make it as far as I have. 

Whumper definitely took some getting used to. They found me when I was still working full-time as a janitor in one of their buildings. I think they were just excited to find someone who liked animals as much as they did. We both loved rescue pets. At the time, they had just lost one of their older pets, and their newer pet was acting up. After I gave them some advice, they kept coming back to talk. Turns out, they liked how I organized my supplies and kept the other janitors on track. 

That first month in charge of Whumper’s house was a test run I passed with flying colors. Obviously, Whumper was super busy every day. I was able to ease some of the burden and made sure the giant mansion was always ready for anything Whumper could dream of. The others took to me quickly, listening to orders and getting out of the way faster than ever. Before the month was over, Whumper had invited me to take over as their personal assistant. 

My current job for Whumper is better than I ever could have dreamed. They’re a bit eccentric, but what billionaire isn’t? Most of what I do is make sure no one bothers Whumper. A majority of the household staff do their best to stay out of our employer’s way, so I don’t have to worry about them. Honestly, I’m not sure the others like Whumper. 

I was given a mini apartment and space for my cats in the mansion. Surprisingly enough, I get three days off every week. Whumper and I talk about our rescue pets and our past every day they’re home. (Whumper and I had similar family experiences.) I get to go on expensive trips when Whumper needs my help. They even gave me access to their drivers when I needed to go shopping. 

Yesterday, Whumper and I made it home from a two-week trip. A majority of what I did was talking on the phone. Taking calls, organizing meetings, coordinating with other people’s assistants, and ensuring Whumper had time to attend the club meetings for some rich person pet rescue association. 

That club is the only thing Whumper keeps to themselves. They make sure I know when they have meetings, but they won’t give me any contact information to take care of things for them. They always drive themselves to the meetings instead of taking the driver when meetings are in town. All I know is they rescue animals and train them to be good pets. 

On this last trip, Whumper was really excited about their progress with their latest pet. Apparently, they had learned a new training method that was extremely successful. The animal they had rescued was taken from an abusive home. They had been treated terribly for years before Whumper saved them. At first, the animal had acted up, but with some “careful but intense” training, they had made great progress. 

During the flight home, Whumper was practically vibrating in their chair. “I did it, Caretaker.” They whispered in my ear with a giddy giggle. “The pet we were working with is mine. I decided to keep it. I’ve always trained them and sent them on to new homes. I found it, trained it, and this time they’re mine. It’s all thanks to you.”

Their new pet would be arriving in a week.

They wouldn’t let me help them with preparations. I had to clear Whumper’s schedule as much as possible because of it. Generally, I plan for a day or two of rest after a big trip, so those first two days, Whumper was able to fully focus and seemed to make good progress. Whumper was going to change their basement game room into a rescue shelter. 

“You’re going to love it.” Whumper grinned on the fourth day with a large box in their arms. They had skipped an interview to go shopping, and I had caught them red-handed. “I’ve got all the latest equipment. My pet is going to be so loved. So well cared for. I know I’m being difficult, but when you see them, it’ll all be worth it.”

The day before the animal was scheduled to arrive, Whumper paced outside the door to the basement. It was surprisingly hard to find in the large mansion. Hidden doors weren’t odd in the building, though. Passages turned in interesting directions. Some rooms weren’t on the floorplan. I still wasn’t allowed inside the room, but Whumper had gotten nervous and had called me to the door to calm them down. “What if they don’t like it here? What if they reject their training? We went through everything so quickly. Generally, it takes months if not a year to reach the point where new pets can leave one of the training halls. Do you think I’m ready for this? I’ve never kept a pet before.”

Mumbling and pacing in a small circle around me, they questioned themselves over and over again. Finally, I grabbed their hand, “Whumper. You’re ready. You are going to show your new pet they are loved and cared for. It will take some time, but won’t it be worth it?”

“You’re right. With your help, I can do it. I never could have come this far if I didn’t have you here. I… I know I’ve been hiding a lot of this from you. Thank you for your patience. One more day and the new pet will be here. Then, you can know everything. You can see the room. Maybe, I can even bring you to the next meeting! No more secrets. We can care for our pet together.” Whumper pulled me into a tight hug.

“Oh.” I flinched at the strength behind the hug, “Yeah. Yeah, I can probably help you.”

When the pet arrived, Whumper banned me to my room until everything was in place. It took nearly the whole day for them to decide everything was perfect. They even had the cook bring me my lunch, which, was a rather odd experience. The cook and I generally got along well, but they left without a word. I could have sworn they were crying. I just made a note to check on them later and closed the door. 

Finally, Whumper knocked on my door. “It’s ready, Caretaker! Come on. Let me show you.”

I don’t know why, but I had a very bad feeling as Whumper led me through the familiar halls. The whole mansion felt unusually cold. The staff was quiet as we passed. It was just wrong. 

The door opened on silent hinges as Whumper stepped aside for me to enter the room. A short staircase and another door stared me in the face. This door was metal and covered in locks. 

“They’re beautiful, Caretaker.” Whumper’s arms wrapped around my waist from behind. “I really hope you like the surprise. Unfortunately, they misbehaved during transport, so they’re not as perfect as I hoped, but they’re ours. Ours forever.”

Whumper kept their hold on me as they pushed toward the door. A large keyring jingled as they opened the locks. I wanted to run. This was wrong. Every sense I had was screaming danger. There was no way to go but forward. The door opened. 

The room was bright. Clinical. There was nothing in the room that grabbed my attention more than the cage. In the center of the room, trapped in a cage made of golden bars, was Whumper’s new pet. 

Whumpee. 

Not a dog or a cat or any kind of animal. Whumper’s pet was my younger sibling. Even as I looked at them, I barely recognized them. Thin and pale, they looked like they hadn’t eaten for days. Scars covered almost every inch of their exposed skin. Even worse, Whumpee’s eyes stared at the floor. The one thing we’ve known since we were small was never to lose track of the people in the room. Always keep your eyes on the enemy. Whumpee never looked up once.

“You weren’t lying when you told me what your parents were like.” Whumper sighed, finally releasing me. “When we rescued them, they had already been beaten within an inch of their life. They were wild. For a moment, I thought they were unrecoverable. I didn’t want to give up on them, though. They hurt you. They don’t deserve your love, but, you do still love them, don’t you? I can tell by how you talk about them. Don't worry, they'll never hurt you again or they'll suffer the consequences.

"We can help them learn. Teach them to be good. We saved them from your past, and together, we can keep them forever. You helped me so much, Caretaker. I was lost before I found you. This is my gift to you. Tell me, do you like it?” 

My skin crawls. Whumpee whimpers. Whumper picks up a knife.

“Come, Caretaker. Let me show you how well they’ve been trained.”

Part 2

[lightparty-fullparty]

Gods okay I need to talk about the Stormblood Antagonists for a hot minute. Whatever personal issues I have with how Stormblood is paced or how certain characters are handled, the villains are absolutely fantastic.

If there is one singular theme that ties the main three antagonists (that being, Fordola/Yotsuyu/Zenos) together. It's the idea of the Ouroboros. The snake that is caught in a self-destructive cycle of devouring it's own tail.

Historical in our real world, the Ouroboros has been symbolic of main things, the cycles of life and death, fertility, even immortality. However, it can also been seen in a more negative light as a symbol of perpetuated suffering. Of being unable to let go of something that only end up hurting you more. And gods doesn't that just sound familiar?

Now I can hear you, in your head saying "But Gengar - Yostuyu and Fordola obviously have those parallels of suffering abuse and becoming abusers themselves, but what the hell are you doing throwing Zenos in there too? He's the abuser." And I get it, I do. Aside from the fact I'm a self-admitted Zenos lover, he doesn't at first glance really fit in with the ladies. But hear me out okay?

It's not just suffering abuse. It's refusing to let go and allow yourself and your perspective to change, even though your current way of thinking and acting is only making you suffer more. Yotsuyu was victimised for *years* at the hands of her Aunt/Uncle/Asahi. Then sold off to an (asummedly) abusive husband, and then sold again into prostitution. She was never offered a shred of sympathy or kindness during this time. And when she was given power, given authority and the means to protect herself physically. She choose to return all of the suffering she endured onto the people of Doma. She did not see them as being in the same position as her, suffering under the abuse of the Garlean Empire. She did not offer them any sympathy or kindness of her own, because (in her mind) they had denied that basic decency to her. Yotsuyu couldn't let go of her hatred until a literal giant wooden beam smacked her on the head and gave her complete amniesia. At which point, she displayed the ability to be kind. To think of others and to try and do nice things for them (Persimmons anyone?). Tsuyu was freed from her self-inflicted cycle of pain. She stopped letting herself be comsumed by her own anger and fear. Fordola was much the same, though her family at least very clearly cared for her. She grew up in an occupied Ala Mihgo. In a family with supported the Imperial force. Out of genuine agreement with the Empire or as a means of ensuring a sightly better life for themselves we don't really know (as far as I can remember at least). Fordola's suffering, much like Yotsuyu's, came at the hands of her own 'countrymen'. People who (rightly) despised the Empire for it's brutal oppression, but who choose to take it on someone more vulnerable and accessable. A child. A young girl who was given a horrible and sudden lesson on just how cruel people can be. On both sides of the conflict.

Fordola chose to join the Garlean Army in the hopes of amassing power for herself. Of trying desperately to carve out some place of herself and her friends where they felt they actually belonged. Where they would be respected. Unfortunately, she found none of this. The Garleans saw her as a 'savage', the Ala Mihgian's saw her as a tratior. Like Yotsuyu, Fordola couldn't let go of her desire for revenge. Her desire to "make anyone who ever looked down on (her) pay!". It drove her to extremes to try and hold onto that scrap of power she had managed to gather. The resonant, the Castrum, all of it more teeth biting into her own tail. So what can Zenos not let go of?

His belief that the only joy he can find in life is from dying in combat. Because let's be honest with ourselves, Zenos has no desire to live here. He wants a meaningful death, a brilliant, climactic, perfect moment and then he wants to not be alive anymore after that. It's why he chooses to kill himself after the Royal Menagiere. You beat him! You gave him his perfect moment! He knows (believes) that there's nothing left for him after this! So he dies. Zenos is infact suffering. It's just not as clear as Fordola or Yotsuyu. He's miserable. He's perpetually bored, and lethargic, and consumed by apathy. A prison of his own making because he has had tunnel vision since he was like 8? 10? that combat was the only thing capable of making him feel anything. So he chases after it, chases after you (the WOL). Trying to push you and push you like he was until you're capable of giving him what he wants. His perfect, transcendant moment of pure joy, and then death after.

Really what it comes down to is that Fordola, Yotsuyu, and Zenos are stuck in their own self-perpetuated misery. Yotsuyu in her fear of powerlessness, Fordola in her need for revenge, and Zenos in his desperation for meaning.

And none of them can see a way to break their own cycles until it someone outside of it comes in to try and do it for them. (Gosetsu/Lyse + Arenvald/WOL+Alisaie)

'Ere does the head devour the tail.

[natty-taffy]

the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Having your memory read has backtracked on you, but at least you're seeing her once again

Previously, on this path: Chapter I.I.I.0

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.I.0.II

When the first sight you have is not of Anastasia, and the room you’re currently in looks unrecognizable from everything you have ever seen before, there is absolutely no doubt left in you that you have failed to run away and have been kidnapped. 

Instead of your beloved princess, the red-headed woman- who also sits mere inches away from your head, mind you- doesn’t answer you and looks at you with nothing but fear in her eyes. She doesn’t look dangerous at all, there is nothing in her stance that can help you understand what her role is here. This sets a thousand danger bells screeching in your mind- something is not right.

You need to find Anastasia and get the hell out of here- even if it means fighting this woman with your scarce fight skills- you had been somewhat trained to be able to achieve the title of a Romanov’s handmaiden, but never to free yourself out of a possible kidnapping.

Nevertheless, your first instinct is to back your body against the front of hers and, with the stumble of her unexpected momentum, wrap your hands around her right arm, easily tackling her body away from the bed you were both set in- aiming for the floor. You frown in slight surprise and relief- you had no idea you were this strong, although she has a very petite figure.

“[Y/N]!” She gasps unexpectedly- her voice sounds raspier than you had expected and you are not shocked to learn she knows your name.

You, however, could not have ever been prepared for what happened next- against every single law of physics (because, yes, Anastasia has taught you about them), she does not hit the ground. Instead, the red-head manages to tumble mid-air , amidst some sort of scarlet mist, that neither touches her nor the ground, but manages to keep her from finding it.

“What the fuck-” You trail off as your legs independently move as far away from her as possible- trying to make you one with the gray wall your back was pushed against. 

Could it be possible that you have died and this is the devil? Have your kiss with Anastasia dragged you forever away from her, in a place with this woman, who, apparently, bears the powers of evilness? Is this the holy punishment for betraying the trust of the Holy Majesties by kissing their daughter’s cherry-red lips?

Surprisingly, she doesn’t look revengeful nor angry, instead, maybe, even a little relieved at your behavior- which makes you even more uneasier than before- are you being tested? Is she accessing you?

With the boldness and bravery that you don’t actually have, you demand, once more, an answer “Who are you, where am I, and where is Anastasia?”

Her eyes- tempestuous, troubled, remorseful-, betray her calm exterior and shy smile, you still pretend to try to understand what part of her is truthful to her intentions, though you already know very well. 

“I won’t hurt you, [Y/N]” Her voice is steady- strangely it shadows you as a source of comfort, you fight away from it “My name is Wanda, you are safe, and so is she”

You don’t believe in her for one second, her eyes have betrayed her words, in every way, they could. With a small breath intake, you try once more, not allowing her to run from your words once more “Take me to her”

Resigned, but not necessarily surprised, Wanda sighs at you and shows a small smile filled with regret “I can’t do that- at least not right now”

Although you should give her the benefit of the doubt, since there are all types of signs coming off from her- from the best to the worst-, you don’t waste another second before throwing a heavy fist in her direction. She knows where Anastasia is and, for some reason, is withholding the information- who knows what could have happened to her?

Wanda, you find out, has impressively fast reflexes, as she effortlessly dodges your punch and immediately gets up from the bed, putting some space between the two of you. She holds her hands slightly up, gesturing a truce “[Y/N], stop! I don’t want to hurt you”

You don’t try to hit her anymore, but none of you can step out of your defensive positions, you scowl at her- she won’t hurt you, but she won’t help you either “Stop being condescending” 

When she rolls her eyes- because you can be such a pain in the ass whenever you don’t get what you want-, you lunge at her once more, you’re not the fittest person to be so sure of winning a fight to the point of trying to provoke it, but for the love of your life- to know she is safe and sound-, there are very few things you wouldn’t do. 

Plus, Wanda doesn’t look like the strongest opponent ever, you have learned to fight with guards three times bigger than her.

When a blast of something hitting the opposite corner of the room that you’re in, sizzles right past you- grazing lightly on your elbow, powerful enough to burn, but quick enough to last less than a blink of an eye. In both fear and surprise, you stumble over your own feet, ungracefully falling down to the ground in fear- what the fuck was that?

Your fearful eyes graze upon her and she looks as apologetic as ever, but the small glint in her eyes has yet to fade “I told you to fucking stop ” She berates you in a way that almost makes you coil in shame- once more, she doesn’t seem to be truly meaning to hurt, her voice screams at the same way it soothes you “If you’d listen to me-”

Her small speech is cut shortly by a bang on the door- both of you turn your heads to the sound, as two deers would, in fear.

“Wanda?”A male voice booms worriedly through the other side of the door, you take a small step back, unaware of what the presence of other people would mean- could you get in even more trouble?

Wanda is no better than you, frozen on the spot, she tried to hurriedly come up with an idea that could send Steve away, knowing very well that if he was here, it wouldn’t be long until Natasha arrived, as well, and that would be-

His voice asks her one more time, she can almost feel his worried gaze upon her “What’s going on over there?”

As to not arouse any suspicions, Wanda immediately answers him with a half-truth, given that he surely heard your voice from your small outburst not long ago “[Y/N] and I are just training-”

“Wanda, open the door” And, because the smallest mention of your name was enough to conjure Natasha from wherever she is, the woman’s voice demands it.

The witch sees the exact second in which your eyes flutter with recognition and relief at Natasha’s presence so, in an act of desperation, before you can utter a word, she mutes your voice- it’s painless, but the scared look you send her after your mouth can no longer produce a sound sends a thunderbolt of pain through her entire body.

“We’ll be out in a sec!” She concedes, allowing herself to conceal her emotions for a moment before coming clean and everything starts crumbling down, as it’s bound to.

You still don’t understand anything, so when the woman slowly walks to the door- suddenly so small and scared that she is almost invisible-, you frown in even more confusion, is she really going to open it? Are you really going to see Natty? Does that mean you can trust her?

Anastasia steps into the room quickly and urgently, as if she owns it- she has always had the posture of owning whichever room she steps into. Although, you frown slightly- still not gathering enough courage to move from the corner of the room you had thrown yourself into-, she looks so different .

Undeniably beautiful, as she will ever be, but also undeniably older and somehow harsher- her beautiful eyes hold so much they never carried before, her mouth is set into a thin line sharper than the one she would wear in royal duties, there is a small crinkle in between her eyebrows that didn’t exist before. All in all, she looks breathtakingly exhausted and you don’t know whether to worry or fawn over her- maybe you can do both at the same time while trying to figure out for how long you have been in here or why her clothes look like this .

(You will, also, not deny that black looks absurdly beautiful on her)

At the confusion and fear plastered on your face, as well as with the clear mess of Wanda’s room- courtesy of both of you-, Natasha feels her instincts kicking in high, you aren’t your usual self, the two times she has seen you looking this scared were when you first arrived and when she last saw you until then. Something has definitely happened.

 “What happened?” She asks in immediate high alert, trying- but failing- to not threaten anyone without knowing what went on.

Steve and a surprisingly stern-looking Tony enter the room right in her tow, taking in the details of a small fight, the way you seem to try to merge yourself into the wall, and the terribly guilty look that Wanda carries. Not sure how to address the situation, they choose the easiest path, and leave it to Natasha to gather the answers.

You almost open your mouth- you want to tell her everything, to urge her to start running with you, to ask her what has happened, if she is okay- or, at least, be able to run until your body collides with her once more. But the fear of being Wanda’s target again makes you keep your mouth shut- you had no voice, anyway.

“Wanda?” Natasha impatiently asks her when none of you provides an answer.

Under the pressure of Natasha’s scrutinizing eyes, Wanda burns and breaks into small tears- her voice, frail as the breeze, arrives in tides to her lips “Nat, I am so sorry, I just wanted to-”

At the moment that an apology left Wanda’s lips, Natasha stepped closer to her- not entirely to threaten her, but to also move her anxiety away from her body- something had happened to you and Wanda was the one to do it.

Natasha focuses her attention on you, who seem to be indecisive over being comfortable or irked over it- she chooses to not get closer to you, then, but how she wishes to at least be able to make sure you are okay. 

“What did you do?” Her voice, now, sounds so distressed that Tony sends a prying look to Wanda so she can hurry up and start talking.

“She asked me to take a look at her mind, see if I could find any memory- I know I shouldn’t have, but she is my best friend, it was killing me to see her so distraught” At the moment that Wanda starts spilling her words everywhere- unfiltered and filled with her accent, two very important things happen.

Natasha looks feral and feels even worse- as if she has been struck by lightning and she can feel the shock traveling alongside her body, sending every nerve of her body into a state of indescribable pain. Because she did not have the right to do this to you, but, mostly, because this has absolutely backfired for you and she is not sure she wants to know how.

You intently drink from her every word, trying to gather every information that is thrown at you and solve the puzzle with shapes you are not familiar with.

Steve almost steps out of the room, knowing that this isn’t of interest to either him or Tony, but that it also surely will mess with the atmosphere and dynamic of the entire team, so he backs himself to the doorframe as to intrude them a little bit less. Tony, on the other hand, would happily stay for the drama of the gossip- he even had one or five words to squeak out to the women-, if it wasn’t for Captain America quietly dragging him off the room altogether.

Wanda keeps talking, because, right now, that is the only thing she can do to stop herself from fainting “She- I had no intentions to seek as deep, I wasn’t going to seek anything, at all- but you appeared and things started to happen and her mind was playing it non-stop like a movie, and all I wished to do was to see everything I could, so I could tell her the most and help her gain at least some sense of what she had lived, of how you are connected. But, I think now- she doesn’t have any memories besides, um, of your past together”

Natasha is so consumed by rage that she barely allows herself to listen to Wanda’s motives, all she can do is speak- with the calmness of the last second before the first tsunami wave-, in words as shaky as her own body is “I cannot believe you” 

You feel almost sedated, there is no way any of what she says happened- half of her phrases didn’t even make any sense, but there is no way Anastasia would be this engulfed in anger if they weren’t true. Deep breaths are easier to take, now that you can suddenly feel your vocal cords being unclipped- though you don’t dare to make a noise to check if your voice is truly back, you feel a little less anxious.

And Wanda wishes she would have kept her mouth shut, because she isn’t being yelled at, but it’s way worse, because she can feel the disappointment under Natasha’s gaze and in the weight of her words “Wanda, you promised me- all of us - that you would never mess with mind control anymore, look at what you’ve done!”

She knows is a low blow, she knows Wanda didn’t do mind control, and that you sure begged her enough for her to make her mind up, but Natasha couldn’t care less, because, right now, all she can see is another person meddling with your life, another person putting you in danger. All she sees is everything she has ever done to keep you safe and have a chance to live a life unfollowed by grief, slipping between her fingers.

Steve decides to step in, before the woman makes things worse- he is not entirely sure of how you and she were connected, but one doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out that her entire demeanor towards you came from the one feeling she doesn’t know to tame. “Nat, I think-”

“You don’t , Steve” Arrives an immediate answer, followed by her preying eyes hunting his face down “There’s nothing for you to think- none of this is of your concern” 

“It is of mine” Worried and, honestly, a little scared of Anastasia’s anger, your voice decides to make itself known before you can think about it.

The entire room stares at you and you wonder if you could just, maybe, coil your body into itself until you disappear. But very familiar green eyes, once poisoned by ire, are, little by little, unburying themselves from the fog, turning into the shining, loving, caring eyes you have always known, dreamt about, and loved.

“Detka ” She whispers, and her voice sounds pure and crystalline once again- you only allow yourself to cry because she already is, and you don’t think there is more room in your body for the emotions she builds into you to spread.

Wanda bites her small smile down when she sees the effect you have clearly always had over her, when Natasha has finally been caught off guard- although she is still quite disappointed with herself, she feels a little bit proud, a little bit happy, with being the responsible of making your souls meet once again.

You decide to bite the bullet, since the room seems to drink from your every movement, much like Wanda, you simply spill the words that want to jump from your tongue. Stepping closer to Natty, you still wear your frown under caring eyes.

“I don’t really understand- the last time I saw you, your hair was down here” You circle her waist with a finger- you don’t touch her, but the ghost of your fingers is enough to lift a thousand pounds from Natasha’s chest “You wore lightness on your pace, life in your eyes and the sweet tones of youth on your voice” Your voice, unsure and confused, is enough to push Natasha deep into the floor once again “But I’m also not dumb” 

At that, both Wanda and Natasha frown, not really understanding where you are getting into, but both praying that it brushed along forgiveness- the former praying for you to understand her intentions, and the latter praying for you to forgive the person she has become, who is so different from the one you knew, since you have so quickly seen through her changes.

Unbeknownst to both, these are things you haven’t given much thought to, not bothering to hold them accountable for things they have done out of love and care for you.

“She” You point at Wanda- not the devil, but, apparently, your best friend “Tried to help me out of some suffering- that, I can only assume has caused some sort of amneziya. But none of this is her fault, she is maybe only collateral damage, because you know how I get when I set my mind to something” You tell Anastasia, because you two are not that different when it comes to stubbornness.

She takes a deep breath- her mouth is smiling without her even realizing, too happy being in your presence to care about much else-, however, because she still has a point to make, Natasha relents, now a bit more serious “Yes, but, dove, she is way too powerful” Your eyes are locked into each other, you can feel the seriousness when she tells you “You are lucky she has only erased your recent memory”

You still don’t understand what is it that she does, nor how she has come to do such things, but there are many more things to be focused on, right now. Like the fact that you are, apparently, in the future, that you once knew the people surrounding you and that, at least now, your soul can rest, having reencountered Anastasia once again. And you have Wanda to thank for this.

Now, having calmed down- at least enough for your lungs to breathe on their own-, you steer away from the wall and step closer to the woman, watching how her defenses crumble at the lessening of the distance. You really do love her, you hope you can, one day, understand what has turned her into someone else- until then, all there is left for you to do is to love her enough to heal the unknown, because she is still your Natty, even if to everyone else she is, apparently, Natasha.

When you arrive at her feet, you trembly take her hand, relishing in how the feeling of being home is still the same, even if her calloused hand has nothing to do with the one you were used “There is not a foreseeable future in which I would change your love, your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile, for anything else- if I was miserable enough to ask Wanda to do something this dangerous it’s because I knew I had to. I would rather forget everything about myself than go back to a time in which I have forgotten about you” You squeeze her hand, emphasizing your every word “Don’t you understand it?”

You don’t hear an answer, instead, you feel her soft lips against yours- no, not really, you feel them dancing with yours-, she still smells like jasmine and tastes like plumes, and the universe seems to fall into place. You feel like your entire life has led you to this exact moment, every single breath taken was meticulously framed by the universe to end up in her arms, that’s just the way it is.

Anastasia smiles over your lips- you feel like you’ve reached heaven-, and says in one breath the words you have never thought you would hear “I love you, [Y/N]”

Your own smile freezes, and you have to take a step back to ground yourself back to Earth- is it really possible that she could feel as much for you as you feel for her? “You- you do ?” 

You suddenly feel very dumb, because, with the way that her eyes gaze upon you there is no feeling that could possibly bloom in her chest but pure, undiluted love, admiration, and blissfully infatuation.

“You can’t even begin to understand how much” The words escape through her smile and you can’t help but smile back at her.

“You underestimate me, Romanov” A small smirk appears on your lips “I knew I loved you without even knowing who you were” 

Natasha chuckles and nods at you, giving you the last word, this time, because she is too overwhelmed with happiness to think about anything else. It’s only when your smiles slowly die down, solely because your cheeks can’t handle much more, that you remember you were very much so not alone.

You quickly sweep the room with your eyes, finding only Wanda here, now- probably the other two guys have given you some privacy-, whose eyes shine with happiness at the sight of the two of you, and you suddenly remember the very starting point of your kiss. You take a step back, not without pecking the tip of her nose, and smile at Natty once more “Don’t get mad at Wanda” 

Natasha, now calmer, more rational, and more careful with her words, sends what could be a shy look to the woman- she knows she has overstepped, but Wanda has, too, although in different intensities.

“I am upset- she broke a very important promise” She tells you, but you know she is indirectly telling Wanda, as well “Even though it came from a good place”

You nod at her, happy to know that there is a lot of your Anastasia in Natasha, and turns to Wanda, who still bears unsure eyes “Her forgiveness is slow, but truthful” You smile at her, trying to ease her unsettledness “You two will be fine” 

Before any of the women could say anything more- and Natasha had a few good words to let the witch know that she is not as lenient with people as she is with you, Tony steps into the room once more, bringing on his toes a very annoyed Steve, who had done everything to keep the man out of the room- to no avail.

“I haven’t got a clue about the underlines- by the way, hello once more, [Y/N], I’m Tony Stark, the owner of the building and your best friend” The eccentric man approaches you- you don’t think you have ever seen someone so… like this, but you are instantly drawn to him, you don’t know about being his best friend, but you have the feeling that his intentions are good “But this is absurd, we need to get her memory back”

At that, all sets of eyes focus on him, because this is the million-dollar question that only Wanda, ready to make it right for the three of you, has the voice to ask “And what do you suggest?”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Final paths coming soon!