#+ Media I Like Has Song I Like (triple bonus)

[from-space-or-something]

CATEGORY 5 AUTISM EVENT IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS....... results: embarrassing. but i'm having so much fun that i'm visibly shaking

[kismetconstellations]

🔥 + anything Zac Efron related, please & thank you :)

(You can ignore the first one. I should really read instructions all the way through before sending in asks)

No worries. You are totally fine. ^//^

Let's hope this doesn't get too inflammatory.

I'm not a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe for a variety of reasons, and would prefer Zac never be a part of it.

I think Zac's indie dramas are infinitely more fascinating than his mainstream comedies (they also come with the added bonus of not humiliating and disrespecting him while also objectifying him at every turn), and hope that he continues to do more of them.

Honestly, anything that keeps him out of Hollywood and away from the toxicity of the industry is all right with me.

Seeing his malnourished Baywatch physique continually held up as some sort of "ideal" upsets me to my core. All the more so, knowing just how negatively the whole experience affected him, contributing to his depression and insomnia and causing him to tear up on-camera when he was finally able to eat carbs, again.

This will come as absolutely no shock to anyone who has been following me since 2016, when the world was treated to, as I like to call them, High School Musical Shitstorm: Parts Un and Deux, but I strongly feel that Zac doesn't owe the collective High School Musical fandom any reprisals of his role as the heart and soul of the franchise. Especially when so many people who consider themselves a part of that fanbase are all too keen to minimize or outright ignore Zac and Troy's significance to the original trilogy's success, mock and deride both of them as "boring" or worse, and leave nasty comments like this--

-- on social media posts of members of the cast reuniting. (Please do not seek out or bother any of the people in the above screenshot, by the way. I don't believe that you or any of my other followers would, but it's still a necessary precaution, just in case. Please be kind, everyone. Even when others are not.) I know it's immature and petty on my end, but I don't see why people who behave this way and treat Zac's professional attempts to distance himself from this franchise with scorn and further mockery, even though his past reputation as a "tween heartthrob" still colors directors' perceptions of him, resulting in him needing to prove himself worthy nearly twenty years on, should be rewarded. I feel for the fans who crave a High School Musical reunion because it would take them back to a simpler, happier time in their lives, but the films are right there and always will be there to be revisited at any time. The past is the past for a reason, and Zac, just like anyone else, should be allowed to move on.

Zac was perfectly cast as Phillip Carlyle. There is no one else who could have brought Phillip to life as immaculately, and no actor more deserving of the career revitalization The Greatest Showman delivered tenfold. My sympathies go out to Jeremy Jordan if he legitimately did have to sing live demos of "all of Hugh's songs", as well as Phillip's, before the studio executives while recovering from a nasty bout of laryngitis. That does not, however, make him entitled to a role he never so much as considered auditioning for.

Zac, on the other hand, had already been involved with the production for four years, alluding to a potential upcoming role in a movie musical as early as 2015, and contacting studios on director Michael Gracey's behalf to assist him, Hugh, and the rest of the crew in getting the green light.

Thus, you can imagine how thoroughly it rankles me to see fans of Mr. Jordan insinuating that Zac, a legitimate triple threat, was an inferior choice made to secure the support of Zac's larger fanbase, or- even more deluded- to placate the "ego" of show business veteran Hugh Jackman, who was supposedly "threatened" by Mr. Jordan's vocal prowess.

The Greatest Showman Cast is superior to the High School Musical Cast; in terms of talent, camaraderie, and maturity. You don't see any of them making backhanded comments years later about Zac being their "worst on-screen kiss", or their "favorite scene" with Zac being one where his character was "so dumb". (Even though Troy was very obviously emotionally manipulated into believing that something was going on with Ryan and Gabriella, by Gabriella. That's such a low, douchebaggy thing to say, and my already minimal respect for Lucas Grabeel has dropped to near non-existent because of it.)

---

And, I think that's about it. Thank you so very much for asking, and I sincerely apologize a million times over for it taking me so long to post this response! I've been quite busy babysitting my niece and tending to personal affairs, and haven't had the energy to properly run this blog. But, I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things, and put more lovely things onto my followers' dashboards.

I appreciate your patience, and I hope that these answers prove to be worth the wait. ❤

[old-childhood-drama]

Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas Masterpost (Toe/Jaylor)

Before dating (May 2008)

We start with the Taylor lookalike

In May 2008 the Jonas Brothers are filming their music video for Burnin’ Up [x]. Joe’s love interest in it is played by a blonde girl who looks quite a bit (and she’s also styled) like Taylor Swift, for reference, this is the music video that has Selena Gomez as Nick Jonas’ love interest.

As far as we know they hadn’t even met so we don’t know exactly what this was supposed to mean, maybe Joe had a crush on Taylor or maybe it’s a coincidence.

We do know that Nick and Selena were dating when this was filmed and that by the time the MV was released (July 4th, 2008) Joe and Taylor were officially dating.

Toe is alive! (July 2008 – September 2008)

On Tour

Fans claim to have seen Taylor around the tour in early July, which matches with Taylor’s lyrics in "Last Kiss".

Last Kiss. Taylor Swift.

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th, the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

On July 14th, Taylor and The Jonas Brothers perform “Should’ve Said No”[x] from her debut album, and this performance now forever exists in their 3D movie (a classic), a cute fact is that some fans have said that Taylor tripped when she first came out, so they had to repeat it for the movie.

On July 20th Joe flies to Wyoming to watch Taylor opening up for Rascal Flatts, and they flew back and she was spotted at the Omaha show.

She’s seen in a couple shows more and she joins the stage again for their Madison Square Garden shows in August [x]. They sing “Even now just looking at you feels wrong”.

They’re together but they’re not together.

For more context, we must remember that Taylor was a very new artist from a small label and The Jonas were pretty much at their peak and Disney’s biggest act, and they were managed like crazy and could never even think about being seen with someone in a romantic way. Any rumors were denied so fast, and Disney did the absolute most to keep it secret. So according to everyone they were just good friends, at the time both Taylor and Selena were annoyed by all the secrecy.

Now back to the timeline:

Taylor is backstage of the tour A LOT for the next couple of weeks right next to the other not-girlfriends Selena and Danielle.

She films a cameo for the “Love Is on Its Way” [x] video for the concert in New York. She was said to be only interested in hanging out with Joe and they were seen hugging *gasp* I know it doesn’t seem like much now but back then this was the hottest gossip and again the Jonas were not supposed to breathe near any human of the opposite gender.

Taylor and the Jonas were staying at the same hotel a bunch of rumors ensued, but I will not talk about the whole Olympics and Toe locking themselves in a room at midnight thing. If it’s real, we really needed to touch some grass and stop staying outside of people's rooms all night.

On August 17th Joe goes to Ryan Seacrest's show and denied that Taylor is his girlfriend in the best way a corporation like Disney can train you to deny something that’s true. Saying Taylor is “a great girl and I think anybody would be lucky to date her. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her.”

And Taylor tells People Magazine “He’s an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him” Cinematic parallels.

Taylor is spotted in the back (in a mirror) of one of the Jonas youtube videos [x]. Basically, we all knew they were together.

The Central Park date (August 28th)

Now if you were a fan of either the Jonas Brothers, Selena, or Taylor you know this next part and it the iconic triple date of Central Park.

Again, this is kind of famous at this point and Selena has been quoted saying how awful it was because the boys were not allowed to be seen with them so they all went to Central Park (Selena’s first time in Central Park) and Taylor and Selena walked about 20 feet of distance from the guys so nobody would think they were together but we all already knew because it wasn’t like they were that good at hiding it and there are pictures of them together that night (the clownery of it all).

These backstage tour adventures are the reason Taylor and Selena are friends today and in Selena’s own words the best thing to come out of those relationships.

VMAs (September 2008)

With how many pictures of them together that night [x] [x] [x] exist you would think they had gone together as a couple but no just two besties! The 2008 VMAs are so the show where Russell Brand mocks the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings and Taylor publicly defends them.

Toe seems happy for the rest of September but as we know now the end is near.

The Break-Up (October 2008)

Social Media was different back then and Taylor did what every teen girl with a broken heart did in 2008 and she went to myspace with an edited post to make a statement about the Toe current situation.

Post-Breakup

The 27 seconds Joe Jonas will regret for the rest of his life.

Taylor went on Ellen and I don’t even think I need to say much this interview is THAT iconic she sat on that couch and told the world exactly how Joe had broken her heart in the following two quotes:

“There’s one that’s about that guy, but…that guy’s not in my life anymore unfortunately. That guy…that’s an ouch.”

“I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18…it was like 27 seconds, that’s got to be a record.” [x]

She also went on Ryan Seacrest’s and when asked about the perfect guy she saw an opportunity and took it, saying “I used to always say sense of humor, but I think that it’s important to have the same kind of sense of humor. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and if somebody doesn’t think that my sense of humor is funny, then that’s not something that is good. Um, so sometimes you know, that can be a wrong match. If they’re not allowed to go in public with me, that’s sort of an issue too.” [x]

Bonus the amazing youtube video Taylor posted with Joe’s Camp Rock doll and how he comes with his own phone to break up with other dolls [x]. Taylor eventually went full out and cited Camilla Belle (then girlfriend of Joe) as the reason for the breakup. And you know someone at Disney’s PR office wanted to die when this was going down.

So finally, Joe was forced to acknowledge the whole situation with a Myspace post:

"I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful, but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second” phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. “

Forever & Always

Now this song is known as THE Toe song and it was born out of the end of the relationship when she felt Joe was getting distant, but she couldn’t do anything to help it, it was made really late into the production of Fearless so she had to rush to finish it in time (so no other breakup songs are about Joe in the original album).

Forever & Always Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure

In the 2009 Grammy's Taylor and Miley (insert The Ex-Girlfriends Club Theory here) performed Fifteen (obviously not about Joe) and the Jonas were in the audience. I believe this is probably around the time Taylor writes Mr. Perfectly Fine and You All Over Me, which we know get to have thanks to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 13 years later.

You All Over Me

The best and worst day of June

Was the one that I met you

With your hands in your pockets

And your 'don't you wish you had me' grin

But I did, so I smiled, and I melted like a child

Now every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then

Mr. Perfectly Fine

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

And I never got past what you put me through

But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you

In November of 2009, she also goes to SNL and mocks Joe in her monologue. "You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broke up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes* In my monologue [Spoken:]Hey Joe, I'm doing real well, tonight I'm hosting SNL [Sings:]But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue [x]"

To make things even more dramatic and very awkward The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift spent NYE together watching the ball drop on TV and this was probably not how they wanted to start their years. [x] [x] [x] and a video [x]

Now let’s discussed some of the songs that came out at the time. The Jonas response to Forever & Always was Much Better. Nick described it as a song that was very personal to Joe and Joe went on to say that it was based on his very interesting year. They also at some point wanted to pretend the song was about their love for their fans but come on. Joe also changed the lyrics from ‘superstar’ to ‘country star’ and later changed it to ‘movie stars’ when he broke up with Camilla who is the ‘Much Better’ girl from the song.

Much Better - Jonas Brothers

I get a rep for breakin’ hearts

Now I’m done with superstars

And all the tears on her guitar

I’m not bitter

But now I see

Everything I’d ever need

Is the girl in front of me

She’s much better

Taylor’s iconic response in Better Than Revenge seems to be more of an attack on Camilla. She’s spoken about her regret for this song since then and hasn’t played it in years and Camilla seems to be ok we never forgiving her for it [x] [x]. Regardless this song remains a staple of the genre ‘Feminism OFF, Bops ON’.

“I was 18 when I wrote [“Better Than Revenge.”] That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realize no one can take someone from you if they don’t want to leave”. - Taylor 2014.

Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

Let's hear the applause (Come on, come on)

Come on, show me how much better you are

(So much better, yeah?)

See you deserve some applause

'Cause you're so much better

She also released "Last Kiss" about the nicer part of their relationship, and some believe other songs such as If This Was a Movie, Haunted (Speak Now) and Jump Then Fall (Fearless) are about Joe. From the Jonas, the other song believed to be about Taylor is Paranoid (Lines, Vines and Trying Times).

Jump Then Fall

Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face

You got the keys to me

I love each freckle on your face, oh

I've never been so wrapped up, honey

Probably a song was written about and in the early days of their romance and the long hair freckles [x] thing definitely fits 2008 Joe.

If This Was a Movie

Baby, what about the ending?

Oh, I thought you'd be here by now

Thought you'd be here by now

According to some this song is a sister song to "Last Kiss" in the same album and that is confirmed to be about Joe.

Haunted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

Won't finish what you started

This song would be a sister to Forever & Always since Taylor described both to be about a relationship that was fading in the end and that she was confused as to how they got there in the first place.

"‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.” Taylor

Friendlier days are coming (2010- )

I guess time can heal a lot of wounds and Toe is seen hugging and on friendly terms at the Clive Davis party on January 31st of 2010 [x].

The world was so shocked when we realized that Joe went to see her perform in a couple of her shows in September 2011 [x] [x], and in here Holy Ground is born about her new evaluation of their former relationship rather than the bitterness of the breakup. The lyrics' secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” and the potential parallel to "Last Kiss".

Holy Ground - Taylor Swift

We blocked the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’

And for the first time I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story’s got dust on every page

But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd…

… Tonight, I'm gonna dance

For all that we've been through

But I don't wanna dance

If I'm not dancing with you

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

They're seen talking in the MTV's EMA's 2012 [x].

From here they seem to be friendly and in May of 2015 after the Billboards. They even go on a double date later that year with Gigi Hadid, Calvin Harris, and Karlie Kloss (this picture feels so cursed). Nick and Joe get invited to Taylor’s 4th of July party and they seem somewhat distant after his split from Gigi.

Present (2020- )

In 2020, we got the amazing surprise of folklore with the song ‘Invisible String’ that makes a reference to Taylor’s past songs about exes being harsh and how she sent Joe and his wife Sophie Turner a present for their baby girl’s birth. In 2021, she has now released the re-recordings of Fearless and we are all reliving the drama and enjoying the chaos of Taylor’s and Sophie’s friendship not letting Joe know peace for those 27 seconds over a decade ago.

Invisible String

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents

[meetevieinthehallway]

couldn’t lose you. still can’t.

in which her beauty is ten times more illuminated by the twinkling lights of their bedroom, rather than her phone screen.

-

there was something there.

music, maybe.

quiet music of some sort playing in the background; harry could just barely distinguish melodies and notes from the soft silence encasing the room.

oh, it was that duo his lovie talked about, with stars in her eyes and an awed gasp between her lips.

oh wonder, he thinks that they're called.

but it really didn't matter anyway; the true wonder in this room in this moment in time was her, and her only. the scene was truly gorgeous— how her soft skin pressed against his own and how he could feel the warmth of her body enveloping his.

it was sort of dark—his love had an appreciation for gentle glittering lights that subtly illuminated the room and caressed her cheeks with a glow—and harry could still make out her figure but not the smallest of details he'd always fawn over in the broad sunlight in the mornings. their heads were fuzzy and blurry; they were both a bit tipsy off of the entire bottle of wine they had with dinner. harry could still feel the gentle sway of her hips against his as they danced—more so stumbled—around their living room, harry’s red stained lips murmuring compliments in between their kisses and giggles.

but now he was watching as she traced small shapes on his chest from where she was straddling his hips, fingertips dragging gently against his skin. at this point, harry wasn't even focused on trying to decipher the pictures that she was drawing with the pads of her soft fingertips, no, he was focusing on the breathtaking woman on his lap who had made a home in his heart. he was absolutely taken aback at how alluring she always looked, eyes glowing and eyelashes fanning down at her cheekbones, lips parted slightly in concentration, the soft white lights casting a dim glow across her skin.

she was utterly, absolutely, beautiful—

“you're cheating.”

the voice came from in between pouted lips that were plump and pink, her tone of voice accusatory and peeved.

"i can see your eyes are open; they're supposed to be closed."

the feel of her soft fingertips disappeared from his skin like a spirit, lifting away as his eyes fluttered completely open, lips quirked into a small smirk. despite her pouting, she had quite the fond look on her face— as her arms crossed over her bare breasts and her stomach rolled into itself as she sat back on his hips.

“you’re ruining my game.”

his smirked deepened, finding enough energy to lean up on his elbows and to pucker his lips against her unmoving ones. he snickered when she didn’t kiss back, upper body flopping back down as his arms folded under his head.

"keep on goin', angel. i won't cheat."

“promise?”

“yes, i promise.”

she smiled accordingly and, giddy, adjusted herself on his hip bones. she sighed happily and continued her faux drawing, humming gently to the song still spinning in the background. she liked these moments. when they were home, all alone, away from screaming fans and producers and managers and sold out arenas and everyone else—of course harry loved it, and she admired it, but—

she liked how they could lie together and let all that fade away, even for just a moment.

she liked when harry grew out his hair and it turned darker, and longer, and even curlier, tendrils framing at his temples and forehead; and when his jaw was sharper and covered in stubble and his lips were smiling gently, genuinely; no trace of a false, clean-cut appearance for the cameras.

she loved when he allowed himself to look and think so freely.

older—he looked older—and she doesn't know if it's the wine rambling in her brain in search of an interpretation, but yet he looked so much younger at the same time.

his appearance seemed older—that was a fact: broader shoulders and longer hair—but his smile came back to crinkle by his eyes more often, and his lips weren't wrapped around coffee cups or pressed against microphones and despite how weak she especially felt during those moments—

she loved harry styles every moment of every day, but she preferred the harry that was underneath her: youthful, stress-free, smoother, and more gentle and deeper, eyelashes fanning his cheek bones and skin glowing with the twinkling lights.

“i.”

harry spoke out when she traced the letter between his pecs.

“l.”

she smiled.

“o.”

he smiled too.

“v.”

she giggled, humming in approval.

“i love you too, angel.”

she grinned wider, leaning down on top of his upper body, her breasts grazing his chest. she smeared her lips against his own, harry humming into her mouth and moaning softly.

their bed and their bedroom was a sanctuary. harry loved when he could coop himself in there and tug his girlfriend along, tackling her to the sheets and into a world of their own. it wasn’t only about the sex—he had to admit that that was a pure bonus—but the fact that he could hold her closely and privately, both of them sighing in bliss at the feeling of the other.

she pulled away from his lips. "do you want to know something?"

harry couldn't help the grin that broke out at her velvety voice and his eyes that fluttered open once again, his irises still a bit tipsy and her smile a bit giggly.

"sure, lovie, what is it?"

his love hummed and traced a heart on his shoulder, her hair coming down on her forehead and framing the sides of her face.

"you're really fucking breathtaking. inside ’n out."

he smirked wryly and closed his eyes again, gently shaking his head side to side. "think that's just your merlot talking, baby. you're still a bit pink, as am i."

she frowned, her nose nuzzling against her boyfriend’s. "no 's not. i think about it like, all the time. morning, night, sober, tipsy, drunk— oh, especially when i'm drunk—"

harry opened one eye and smiled small, his head lifting a bit to kiss her again. his teeth barely nibbled on her bottom lip before pulling away, allowing his breath to sigh and his eyes to refocus back on his girlfriend. "you're the breathtaking one, baby, you take up enough for the both of us." his eyes were half lidded and her face was so close to his, nose brushing his cheek and eyelashes fluttering gently. harry’s hand came to her bare back, massaging the base of her spine as she leant further over his body.

"you're such a beautiful man, harry styles." she whispered against his lips, her hands coming up to hold his cheeks and for her thumbs to stroke his skin. harry sighed, smiling, pushing up and slowly rolling his girl over, her hands still on his face as he rolled on top of her.

"you, my love, are the most beautiful and sweet thing this world has ever gifted me.”

she smiled when he kissed her again, his hands roaming her body freely. their tongues were dancing but their laughs were increasing, the evidence of their slight inebriation dancing on their breaths.

harry pulled away to gaze at her face, his face tilting into one of her hands.

"i think that of you, just as much. but— you don’t of yourself?”

he smirked a bit wryly. "it’s nothing, love. you'll find all the beauty in the world if you look at yourself."

"i'd rather look at you." she whispered quietly.

harry’s lip was trapped between his top teeth.

"you never feel beautiful?"

“baby love.” he exhaled. “the media makes you think differently of yourself. points out your flaws and all that.”

“but you always say the media is bullshit!”

“it’s hard to not believe photos and visuals, sweet.” he kissed her nose. “it’s okay.”

“you... you read those types of things, h?”

“no. not anymore.”

“when, then, did you—”

“younger days.” he mumbled. “point in time where that’s all i’d do. made me sad ’n insecure. now i just— have grown to be self conscious.”

she frowned, caressing his skin.

“i wish it never happened. i wish that—” she sighed. “you could see what i see, and what everyone else sees.”

“why do you think i have certain article sites blocked on your phone, love? for the same reason.”

“you blocked articles on my phone?”

“yeah.” he murmured, cheeks flushing with hints of hesitation in his words. “all the ones that point out even the tiniest flaw of you. i don’t want you to read, or see, or hear of that shit.”

he rubbed her cheek.

“you’re the most beautiful thing to me. and i admire your confidence more than anything; i’d hate to see it dissipate.” he murmured.

her hand moved to card through the front of his hair.

in that moment the twinkling reflections in her eyes tripled tenfold, a bittersweet smile gracing her lips. “i can’t believe that— that you wanna...protect me that much.”

“selfish, i know.” he chuckled and looked away.

“no, it’s—” he returned his gaze to her. “it’s incredibly caring.” her heart was pulsing rapidly, her heart desperately trying to get closer to him.

“i know that— my job isn’t the simplest.” his hand grazed her forehead as he looked down. “i can barely take you on proper dates or anything. not many want the status of my name attached to theirs.” his voice was low and monotonous.

“i-i’ve lost lots many people to it— to this life.”

harry’s eyes flicked back up to meet hers.

“couldn’t lose you. still can’t. i can’t let you go, so i’m selfish and i-i… i’ll do...anything to keep you with me.”

then there was silence. the faint music seemed to have increased in volume, and her hands slid off his face and down to caress his collarbones. “harry styles.” she grinned. “you are truly so beautiful.” she smiled brightly. “and i am truly never spending one moment in my life away from your side.” she whispered. “i’m always here— through the good, the bad, the best, the worst.”

his lips quirked upwards. “all i need.”

“and i’m gonna spend each and every moment showing you how beautiful you are, h.” she kissed him again, her arms going over his shoulders to pull him further down. he moaned again, blissed out as they kissed again and again, until he pulled away to rest his forehead on hers.

“i’m so in love with you.”

“i fall more and more for you each day, harry.”

he grinned.

his body shifted, moving to lay his head down on her shoulder, his body half on top of hers with his arm around her waist. “’s okay if i’m the little spoon?”

harry’s voice was soft and innocent-sounding, a coo in her voice as she responded quietly. “of course.”

he smiled sleepily and nuzzled into her sweet skin, her hands running through his hair and massaging at his scalp.

this is where he wanted to be for the rest of his existence: in his bed with her arms around him, the taste of wine on his tongue, and her gentle humming of another oh wonder song lulling him to sleep.

[waxontape-blog]

Not Fade Away: A Look Back at Buddy Holly and The Crickets

The relevance of musical aptitude has waxed and waned with what the general public has decided is in fashion. As a result, one could argue that the mainstream musical landscape has seen yearlong talent droughts more than once or twice before, and it would not be a difficult point to argue. Coinciding with the explosion of MTV, artist and band members had to present evocative visuals and in no uncertain terms be physically attractive-- talent was an added bonus. In the 1990s, feelings were "in," and it became trend to be introspective; in 2017, it is social media which dictates an artist's commercial successes. However, at the earliest on-set of rock and roll, the rules for pop music presentation were still developing, with racial politics and an icy reception from the jazz industry playing an important role. 

Just shortly before four unknown young men from Liverpool, England would take the world by force with their accessible sound and rebellious creativity, another four young men from Lubbock, Texas were busy laying down the foundation for what would become the rock and roll revolution. Niki Sullivan, Jerry Allison, Joe B. Maudlin, and Charles Holley were studio musicians merely dabbling in the only type of true indulgence teenagers had at that time. Blues and rockabilly, country and folk-- already established genres in their own right-- would be used as raw clay for the four boys, who would craft a concoction that would revolutionize the adolescent's very place in society.

But before then, a landmark invention would have to hit shelves in order to get their unique blend to the masses.

With the end of World War II came the advent of the personal radio, the forefather of the Walkman, Discman, Minidisc Player, the iPod, and now the smartphone and streaming services. These small, compact radios were a far cry away from the larger beasts installed in parlors and dens across the world. Which program to listen to on which evening was no longer decided upon by democracy; rather, the sole owner and operator had control over what he or she filled her ears with. This practice had only ever been seen before with the mass production of books. In a world where America had been the heroes in Europe (and the ogres in Asia), life for the average teenager meant being bombarded with omnipresent, brightly painted advertisements, new technology, the promises of travel with family-sized camper vans, the sweet tastes of new candies and ice cream from hamburger joints, and all of it still very much constricted by the need to be "one of us." Regardless, it was the first time in American history that the standard, family-centric paradigm was broken-- the average teenager no longer needed to "share," so to speak.

The personal radio, merely an empty vessel, would soon work its way into the hands of every child and teenager and became a revolution, but it needed the content to propel it forward. And rock and roll, blues, country, and danceable R&B became the software needed to break the mold. The days of jazz pop were slowly being eclipsed, its subversive counter culture once perceived as dangerous was more common place than ever before. The hot, new thing by the middle of the 1950s became records with an electric edge to them. Although tame by today's standards, the melodies and guitar riffs (often adapted and retooled from blues and country-folk origins),present on these recordings were integral to music evolution and still hold their own today.

The combination of Sullivan, Allison, Maudlin, and Holley proved to be reactive, and lucrative. Charles Holley, a charismatic front man with boy-next-door looks, was quick to show his licks from the word go. The boys formed as The Crickets, following the natural dissolution of another band, The Three Tones, and released The Chirping Crickets in 1957, a mixture of original material and blues/R&B covers featuring tight musicianship and impressive performance. 1958's almost immediate follow-up would be the result of a slick marketing ploy, catapulting the front man into the realm of supreme celebrity. The record would bear his now-iconic stage name: Buddy Holly.

Albums were an entirely different beast in the 1950s in comparison to today, and thus these two projects cannot be analyzed separately. Although thematic projects had been ushered into the mainstream music canon by Frank Sinatra, who is often credited with creating the earliest examples of concept albums, rock and roll was a newborn baby rapidly stumbling towards the age of growing pains. As such, Buddy Holly is not an album that was assembled with any great attention to detail. In reality, it is the second slice of the Crickets pie, released under Holly's name in order to capitalize on the band's signature sound and Holly's ever-growing popularity. Also, it was a clever way around contractual obligations by signing the band as two separate acts. The Chirping Crickets and Buddy Holly are two sides of the very same coin, the former a slightly more distant affair in comparison to the latter's more targeted presentation. Whereas The Chirping Crickets is far more general in its approach, the songs on Buddy Holly seem to be directing themselves at a teenage audience while simultaneously marketing the man for whom the record is named.

The two albums are neck and neck in terms of their quality, which stand out as arguably the best survived recordings of the whole of the 1950s. The range of fidelity on these records is astounding for the time period, with raw experimentation placed  right at the forefront. Although the songs seem to draw their inspirations from a myriad of sources (from classical to lullaby to rhythm and blues), they are defined by the band's willingness to push forth into unknown territory. This is perhaps best evinced by the simplistic and sweet "Everyday," which perfectly encapsulates Holly's charisma and ability to adapt his voice to particular song styles. This evergreen is defined by the rather interesting combination of certain elements:  acoustic and bass guitars, a typewriter, Holly's voice, and the gentle slapping of hands on Jerry Allison's knees. Its lack of decoration is strong evidence that less is, in many cases, more. It is also at stark contrast to the up-tempo rendition of "Ready Teddy," on which Buddy snarls with the gusto and experienced snap of a man thirty years his senior.

Despite not being the most artistic of albums, Buddy Holly is a non-stop disc of action, collecting within its short half-hour run time some of Holly and The Crickets' most important material. The classic (albeit rather overrated musically) "Peggy Sue" defines golden oldies in today's society, and the definitive reading of  Sonny West's "Rave On" is a compact rock bullet to the ears. But elsewhere on this album, the deeper cuts ruminate and delight with their slick production and perfectly crafted melodies. From the jazzy, bass and piano--driven "Look at Me" to the rather sensual "Words of Love," the material present here is nothing if not far more advanced than the average pop songs on radio of the day. Whereas much of the standard fair was uncompromisingly pop or uncompromisingly rock, The Crickets managed to marry the genres, creating the blueprint for those who came after them.

The influence from black musicians of the era is full and complete on both The Chirping Crickets and Buddy Holly, which (as opposed to later-era acts like The Beach Boys and at times The Beatles) do not rob-- they contribute to the sound of the day. These four men were deep in the trenches, their youthful energy spilling over across two marvelous pieces of wax. Unfortunately, both of these records are meager when taken on the whole. Due to the nature of the recording industry at that time, much of Holly's best work (both with and without The Crickets) is not present on these two canon albums. Neither houses the spectacularly sexy "Well, All Right," the signature "That'll Be the Day," or "Blue Days, Black Nights," that last of which John Fogerty would later lift for his Blue Moon Swamp album in 1997.

There is a wealth of fantastic material to discover when searching through demos and one-off singles, in addition to Decca Records's That'll Be the Day, the unofficial third LP in Holly's canon, released only in response to The Crickets' later success on Coral and Brunswick. There's the downright sassy, almost baroque-pop "It Doesn't Marry Anymore," the  near tropical stylings of "Heartbeat," and the bittersweet sequel "Peggy Sue Got Married" tucked in between all the flash and sizzle of Holly's biggest hits. They are also important clues for where Holly would have taken his musical adeptness into the 1960s, had he lived to help define them. His final recordings, unfortunately dubbed after his death, serve as our last glimpses into what the future could have been. At times, they are difficult to listen to.

Many of Holly's hits would be defined by the long shadow cast by his untimely death during the Winter Dance Party Tour in 1959, with "True Love Ways," an unreleased ballad from 1958 written for Holly's wife, perhaps the most heart-breaking of them all: "Sometimes we'll sigh / Sometimes we'll cry / And we'll know why just you and I know true love ways." These posthumous hits, along with some of his most experimental and/or forgotten material, would be collected and released on various compilations, the best of which being Decca Records's comprehensive triple-disc set The Very Best of Buddy Holly & The Crickets and the rare but complete Not Fade Away. 

Today, Holly is regarded as one of the great grand-fathers of modern rock and roll, and nobody would be wrong in this declaration. However, it is important to note the important songwriting contributions from Jerry Allison and record producer Norman Petty. Between the three of them, they are responsible for the band's most iconic and important works. With Holly's tragic and untimely death (now coined "The Day the Music Died") we, as listeners, lost the original trajectory for pop music in forms we can only imagine. Would there be a The Beatles? A Duran Duran? A Madonna? A Janet Jackson? A Radiohead? Would disco have risen to power in the 1970s, and would synthesizers had taken the 1980s by storm? We cannot say, but one thing is for sure-- Buddy Holly and his bandmates had a lot more to offer the world that we could ever fathom. Although his career began and ended during the most embryonic phase of rock and roll’s fairly short existence, The Crickets ushered the genre towards excellence and informed every act who came after them.

Click here to buy material from Buddy Holly and The Crickets.

[mrjeremydylan]

My Favorite Album #179 - Nick Allbrook (POND) on OutKast ‘The Love Below’ (2003)

Singer/songwriter and POND frontman Nick Allbrook takes me backstage before the band's recent LA show to reveal his long-term infatuation with Outkast's 2003 classic 'Love Below', the complex and endlessly inventive record helped teach Nick it was ok to love pop bangers.

We talk about how the album is structured like a concept record, the wonderfully weird production choices, how Andre 3000 and Outkast evolved from their early Atlanta rap days into the genre blending of 'Love Below', the Outkast cover Nick did with Tame Impala on triple J, stories about foisting the record on the Tame boys in their old share house, the pop anxiety some psych fans have about the evolution of Pond's sound and what to expect from the new Pond record.

Listen in the player above or download the episode by clicking here.

Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes here or in other podcasting apps by copying/pasting our RSS feed - http://myfavoritealbum.libsyn.com/rss My Favorite Album is a podcast unpacking the great works of pop music. Each episode features a different songwriter or musician discussing their favorite album of all time - their history with it, the making of the album, individual songs and the album’s influence on their own music. Jeremy Dylan is a filmmaker, journalist and photographer from Sydney, Australia who has worked in the music industry since 2007. He directed the the feature music documentary Jim Lauderdale: The King of Broken Hearts (out now!) and the feature film Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins, in addition to many commercials and music videos.

If you’ve got any feedback or suggestions, drop us a line at myfavoritealbumpodcast@gmail.com.

LINKS

- Nicholas Allbrook on Instagram, Facebook and iTunes. Catch him at St Jerome’s Laneway Festival later this month around Australia, Auckland and SIngapore - get tix here.

- Pond on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and iTunes.

- Buy the The Love Below on iTunes here.

- Jeremy Dylan’s website, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook page.

- Like the podcast on Facebook here.

- If you dig the show, please leave a rating or review of the show on iTunes here.

CHECK OUT OUR OTHER EPISODES

178. 2016 in Review: What the hell? ft Jeff Greenstein, Rob Draper & Cookin on 3 Burners, Melody Pool, Lisa Mitchell, Emma Swift, Brian Koppelman, Mark Hart (Crowded House), Davey Lane and Alex Lahey 177. Harper Simon on The Beatles ‘White Album’ (1968) 176. Andrew P Street on Models ‘Pleasure of Your Company’ (1983) 175. Matt Farley (Motern Media) on why The Beach Boys ‘Love You’ is better than ‘Pet Sounds’ 174. Lisa Mitchell on Regina Spektor ‘Begin to Hope’ (2006) and her favorite albums of 2016 173. Peter Bibby on Sleep ‘Dopesmoker’ (2003) 172. Slate’s Jack Hamilton on Stevie Wonder ‘Innervisions’ (1973) 171. Showrunner Blake Masters on Drive-By Truckers ‘The Dirty South’ (2004) 170. Taylor Goldsmith (Dawes) on on their new album ‘We’re All Gonna Die’, loving LA and the albums that inspire him 169. Sadler Vaden on The Rolling Stones ‘Goats Head Soup’ (1973) 168. Guy Clark biographer Tamara Saviano on ‘Dublin Blues’, Guy’s songwriting process and his musical legacy 167. What does Trump mean for music? 166. A Tribute to Sir George Martin, The Fifth Beatle with Davey Lane and Brett Wolfie 165. John Oates on Joni Mitchell ‘Blue’ (1971) 164. Jimmy Vivino on the birth of the Max Weinberg 7, his relationship with Conan O’Brien, country music and the future of rock’n’roll 163. DJ Alix Brown on Transformer (1972) by Lou Reed 162. Taylor Locke on Doolittle (1989) by the Pixies, the album that inspired 90s alt-rock 161. Harts on Around the World in a Day (1985) by Prince and jamming with Prince at Paisley Park 160. Mark McKinnon (The Circus) on Kristofferson and programming the President’s iPod 159. Alan Brough on A Walk Across the Rooftops (1984) by The Blue Nile 158. Peter Cooper on Pretty Close to the Truth (1994) and why we need Americana music 157. Will Colvin (Hedge Fund) on One of the Boys by Katy Perry (2008) 156. Julia Jacklin on Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple (2005) 155. Japanese Wallpaper on Currents by Tame Impala (2015) 154. Montaigne on her album Glorious Heights (2016) and its inspirations 153. Alex Lahey on Hot Fuss by the Killers (2004) 152. Jack Moffitt (The Preatures) on Physical Graffiti by Led Zeppelin (1975) 151. Mike Bloom on Axis Bold As Love by Jimi Hendrix (1968) 150. Hey Geronimo on Drowning in the Fountain of Youth by Dan Kelly (2006) 149. Mickey Raphael on Teatro by Willie Nelson (1998) 148. Jack Ladder on Suicide by Suicide 147. Rusty Anderson on Hot Rats by Frank Zappa 146. Kenny Aronoff on The Beatles 145. Bob Evans on A Grand Don’t Come for Free by The Streets 144. Chris Hewitt (Empire) on New Adventues in Hi-Fi by REM 143. Dr Warren Zanes on Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers 142. Dr Mark Kermode (Wittertainment) on Sleep No More by the Comsat Angels 141. Van Dyke Parks on Randy Newman by Randy Newman 140. Imogen Clark on Heartbreaker by Ryan Adams 139. Jesse Thorn on Fresh by Sly and the Family Stone 138. Stephen Tobolowsky on The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars by David Bowie 137. Ben Blacker on Blood and Chocolate on Elvis Costello & the Attractions 136. Jonny Fritz on West by Lucinda Williams 135. Adam Busch on A River Ain’t Too Much to Love by Smog 134. Kelsea Ballerini on Blue Neighbourhood by Troye Sivan 133. Natalie Prass on Presenting Dionne Warwick 132. Josh Pyke on Badmotorfinger by Soundgarden 131. Kip Moore on Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen 130. Koi Child on Voodoo by D’Angelo 129. The Cadillac Three on Wildflowers by Tom Petty 128. Julian McCullough on Appetite for Destruction by Guns n Roses 127. Danny Clinch on Greetings from Ashbury Park NJ by Bruce Springsteen 126. Sam Palladio (Nashville) on October Road by James Taylor 125. Steve Mandel on Blood and Chocolate by Elvis Costello 124. Brian Koppelman on The History of the Eagles 123. Benmont Tench on Beggars Banquet by the Rolling Stones 122. Jimmy Vivino (Basic Cable Band) on Super Session by Al Kooper, Mike Bloomfield and Stephen Stills 121. Holiday Sidewinder on Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid by Bob Dylan 120. Ben Blacker on Aladdin Sane by David Bowie 119. EZTV on The Toms by The Toms 118. Jess Ribeiro on Transformer by Lou Reed 117. Whitney Rose on Keith Whitley Greatest Hits 116. Best Albums of 2015 with Danny Yau ft. Jason Isbell, Dan Kelly, Shane Nicholson, Tim Rogers, Will Hoge and Julien Barbagallo (Tame Impala) 115. Phil Spector’s A Christmas Gift For You with Jaime Lewis 114. Xmas Music ft. Kristian Bush, Lee Brice, Corb Lund and Tim Byron 113. Sam Outlaw on Pieces of the Sky by Emmylou Harris 112. Jason Isbell on Sticky Fingers by the Rolling Stones 111. Ash Naylor (Even) on Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin 110. Burke Reid (Gerling) on Dirty by Sonic Youth 109. Lance Ferguson (The Bamboos) on Kind of Blue by Miles Davis 108. Lindsay ‘The Doctor’ McDougall (Frenzal Rhomb) on Curses! by Future of the Left 107. Julien Barbagallo (Tame Impala) on Chrominance Decoder by April March 106. Melody Pool on Blue by Joni Mitchell 105. Rusty Hopkinson (You Am I) on ‘Nuggets: Original Artyfacts from the First Psychedelic Era’ 104. Jeff Greenstein on A Quick One (Happy Jack) by The Who 103. Dave Cobb on Revolver by the Beatles 102. Justin Melkmann (World War IX) on Coney Island Baby by Lou Reed 101. Kacey Musgraves on John Prine by John Prine 100. Does the album have a future? 99. Corb Lund on Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs by Marty Robbins 98. Bad Dreems on Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division 97. Davey Lane (You Am I) on Abbey Road by the Beatles 96. Dan Kelly on There’s A Riot Goin’ On by Sly and the Family Stone 95. Ash Grunwald on Mule Variations by Tom Waits 94. Stella Angelico on The Shangrilas 93. Eves the Behavior on Blue by Joni Mitchell 92. Troy Cassar-Daley on Willie Nelson’s Greatest Hits 91. Lydia Loveless on Pleased to Meet Me by the Replacements 90. Gena Rose Bruce on The Boatman’s Call by Nick Cave 89. Kitty Daisy and Lewis on A Swingin’ Safari by Bert Kaempfert 88. Will Hoge on Modern Sounds in Country & Western Music by Ray Charles 87. Shane Nicholson on 52nd St by Billy Joel 86 - Tired Lion on Takk… by Sigur Ros 85 - Whispering Bob Harris on Forever Changes by Love 84 - Jake Stone (Bluejuice) on Ben Folds Five by Ben Folds Five 83 - Pete Thomas (Elvis Costello and the Imposters) on Are You Experienced? by the Jimi Hendrix Experience 82 - Dom Alessio on OK Computer by Radiohead 81 - Anthony Albanese MP on The Good Son by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 80 - John Waters on Electric Ladyland by The Jimi Hendrix Experience 79 - Jim DeRogatis (Sound Opinions) on Clouds Taste Metallic by The Flaming Lips 78 - Montaigne on The Haunted Man by Bat for Lashes 77 - Guy Pratt (Pink Floyd) on Quadrophenia by The Who 76 - Homer Steinweiss (Dap Kings) on Inspiration Information by Shuggie Otis 75 - Best of 2015 (So Far) ft. Danny Yau, Montaigne, Harts, Joelistics, Rose Elinor Dougall and Burke Reid 74 - Matt Farley (Motern Media) on RAM by Paul McCartney BONUS - Neil Finn on The Beatles, Neil Young, David Bowie and Radiohead 73 - Grace Farriss (Burn Antares) on All Things Must Pass by George Harrison 72 - Katie Noonan on Blue by Joni Mitchell 71 - Harts on Band of Gypsys by Jimi Hendrix 70 - Tim Rogers (You Am I) on Bring the Family by John Hiatt 69 - Mark Seymour (Hunters and Collectors) on The Ghost of Tom Joad by Bruce Springsteen 68 - Jeremy Neale on Graceland by Paul Simon 67 - Joelistics on Graceland by Paul Simon 66 - Brian Nankervis (RocKwiz) on Astral Weeks by Van Morrison 65 - ILUKA on Pastel Blues by Nina Simone 64 - Rose Elinor Dougall on Tender Buttons by Broadcast 63 - Sarah McLeod (The Superjesus) on Siamese Dream by The Smashing Pumpkins 62 - Keyone Starr on The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill 61 - Chase Bryant on Defying Gravity by Keith Urban 60 - Brian Koppelman on Southeastern by Jason Isbell 59 - Michael Carpenter on The Beatles White Album Side 4 58 - Pete Kilroy (Hey Geronimo) on The Beatles White Album Side 3 57 - Mark Wells on The Beatles White Album Side 2 56 - Jeff Greenstein on Colossal Youth by Young Marble Giants 55 - Laura Bell Bundy on Shania Twain, Otis Redding and Bright Eyes 54 - Jake Clemons on Surfacing by Sarah McLachlan 53 - Kristian Bush (Sugarland) on The Joshua Tree by U2 52 - Kevin Bennett (The Flood) on Willis Alan Ramsey by Willis Alan Ramsey 51 - Lee Brice on Unorthodox Jukebox by Bruno Mars 50 - Davey Lane (You Am I) on the White Album (Side 1) by The Beatles 49 - Joe Camilleri on The Rolling Stones by The Rolling Stones 48 - Russell Morris on The Rolling Stones by The Rolling Stones 47 - Mike Rudd (Spectrum) on England’s Newest Hitmakers by The Rolling Stones 46 - Henry Wagons on Harvest by Neil Young 45 - Megan Washington on Poses by Rufus Wainwright 44 - Andrew Hansen (The Chaser) on Armchair Theatre by Jeff Lynne 43 - She Rex on BlakRoc by The Black Keys 42 - Catherine Britt on Living with Ghosts by Patty Griffin 41 - Robyn Hitchcock on Plastic Ono Band by John Lennon 40 - Gideon Bensen (The Preatures) on Transformer by Lou Reed 39 - Harry Hookey on Blood on the Tracks by Bob Dylan 38 - Rob Draper on Faith by George Michael 37 - Best of 2014 ft. Danny Yau, Andrew Hansen, Gideon Bensen (The Preatures) and Mike Carr 36 - Doug Pettibone on Wrecking Ball by Emmylou Harris 35 - Ross Ryan on Late for the Sky by Jackson Browne 34 - Michael Carpenter on Hard Promises by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers 33 - Davey Lane (You Am I) on Jesus of Cool by Nick Lowe 32 - Zane Carney on Smokin’ at the Half Note by Wes Montgomery 31 - Tony Buchen on Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles 30 - Simon Relf (The Tambourine Girls) on On the Beach by Neil Young 29 - Peter Cooper on In Search of a Song by Tom T Hall 28 - Thelma Plum on Stolen Apples by Paul Kelly 27 - James House on Rubber Soul by the Beatles 26 - Ella Hooper on Let England Shake by PJ Harvey 25 - Abbey Road Special 24 - Alyssa Bonagura on Room for Squares by John Mayer 23 - Luke Davison (The Preatures) on Green Onions by Booker T and the MGs 22 - Neil Finn on Hunky Dory by David Bowie and In Rainbows by Radiohead 21 - Neil Finn on Beatles for Sale by the Beatles and After the Goldrush by Neil Young 20 - Morgan Evans on Diorama by Silverchair 19 - Emma Swift on Car Wheels On A Gravel Road by Lucinda Williams 18 - Danny Yau on Hourly Daily by You Am I 17 - J Robert Youngtown and Jon Auer (The Posies) on Hi Fi Way by You Am I 16 - Lester the Fierce on Hounds of Love by Kate Bush 15 - Luke Davison on Green Onions by Booker T and the MGs 14 - Jeff Cripps on Wheels of Fire by Cream 13 - Mark Holden on Blue by Joni Mitchell (Part 2) 12 - Mark Holden on Blue by Joni Mitchell (Part 1) 11 - Gossling on O by Damien Rice 10 - Matt Fell on Temple of Low Men by Crowded House 9 - Pete Thomas on Are You Experienced? by Jimi Hendrix (Part 2) 8 - Pete Thomas on Are You Experienced? by Jimi Hendrix (Part 1) 7 - Sam Hawksley on A Few Small Repairs by Shawn Colvin 6 - Jim Lauderdale on Grievous Angel by Gram Parsons 5 - Mark Moffatt on Blues Breakers by John Mayall and Eric Clapton 4 - Darren Carr on Ten Easy Pieces by Jimmy Webb 3 - Mark Wells on Revolver by The Beatles 2 - Mike Carr on Arrival by ABBA 1 - Rob Draper on Highway 61 Revisited by Bob Dylan

[swampflix]

Once or twice a year I make zines versions of movie reviews we’ve written for Swampflix to distribute at local festivals & events (with immense help from CC in printing & tabling them). So far, we’ve never sold zines outside the festival environment, so they’re a kind of special-occasion treat for the site – a natural extension of our low-fi, high-effort movie blogging aesthetic. I was inspired to start this ritual when I attended the very first New Orleans Comics and Zines festival at the New Orleans Public Library in our own early stirrings as a blogging collective. Surveying dozens of tables of amateur & semi-professional art in the library was an inspiring, communal experience that really helped put into perspective what Swampflix was even doing as a lowly, localized movie blog. We will never be a legitimate, lucrative film criticism website (or even a self-sustaining one, to be frank; this is a money-losing hobby of an operation), so I sensed an instant kinship with the amateur art-for-art’s-sake vibe of the event. Our high-contrast black Sharpie illustrations that accompany our movie reviews even already looked like classic Xeroxed zines, something that came naturally to me from self-promoting ancient punk shows in hand-drawn flyers for long-dead bands I was in over a decade ago. That first NOCAZ had the ideal D.I.Y. punk effect on me, the exact spirit you hope to be infected with at any punk community event: it made me want to make art. We’ve been tabling handmade Swampflix zines at every NOCAZ festival since (and even branched out to distribute zines at other book fairs & library events); it’s one of the more energizing highlights of our calendar. That’s why it’s so sad that this year’s NOCAZ will be the last.

The fifth & final NOCAZ fest will be staged at the Main Branch of the New Orleans Public Library on Saturday April 6th and Sunday April 7th, 2019. I’ve already been preparing for the festival for months, making zines & buttons in my free time between writing movie reviews, producing The Swampflix Podcast, and just trying to live a normal life besides. It takes a lot of work to finish the zines on-time every year, not least of all because I make it hard on myself for no reason at all. Instead of merely printing the text & images we’ve already posted on the site, I transcribe that work by hand in careful, but microscopic Sharpie lettering. I also make sure to include bonus illustrations beyond the ones we’ve already published. It’s a needlessly labor-intensive task. Not only does it require weeks of manual labor to produce every new zine, but my handwriting is so small, uneven, and littered with delirious typos that the end result is a bit of an eyesore. I could be wrong, but I highly doubt anyone’s ever successfully read a Swampflix zine from cover to cover, no matter their level of interest in what we’re writing about. That doesn’t mean that there’s no point in making them, though, as delusional as that may sound. I get so much out of tabling at NOCAZ every year. One of the main reasons we review movies for the site is because we love to discuss & recommend films to people, which NOCAZ allows us to do tangibly, in person. It’s also the world’s most ineffective, labor-intensive form of self-promotion, but I like to think that it does make at last a new handful of locals aware that we exist every year, which is a plus. Mostly, though, the zines are worthwhile just because it feels good to make anything. The act of amateur art creation is its own reward.

According to their About page, “NOCAZ is an attempt to make a space for self-published artists and thinkers to put their work out in the public sphere and be able to reach each other without the constraints and expense of the commercial publishing industry. Zines are a participatory format and [they] hope bringing multiple perspectives together under one roof can create dialogue and inspire more people to express themselves though print.” I can report that, for us at least, the short-lived festival was a resounding success on these terms. I also suspect we were far from the only attendees who started making zines for the first time after attending the fest.

I don’t think there’s a more appropriate note to end our time with NOCAZ on than the new zine we’ve printed for this year’s fest: a collection of movie reviews I wrote about backyard filmmaker Matt Farley last summer. For the last two decades, Farley has been making microbudget horror comedies and recording tens of thousands of novelty songs with his family & friends around his New England neighborhoods to little outside fanfare. There’s nothing especially “punk” about his work or his demeanor, but Farley’s Motern Media brand is still a microcosmic D.I.Y. operation that feels entirely in-spirit with the NOCAZ tabling experience. I was thinking a lot about Matt Farley last summer when exhibiting Swampflix zines at the American Library Association’s national conference. I spent four consecutive days in a massive convention hall peddling zines to librarians from all over the country. Out of every dozen or so people who actually stopped to talk to us about our zines (or to learn about zine culture in general), there were only one or two who enthusiastically got what we were doing and found great joy in talking about movies with a stranger. It was the exact high-effort, low-payoff amateur art lifestyle Farley details in our current Movie of the Month, 2013’s Local Legends. Tripling as a narrative comedy, a documentary, and an infomercial selling Farley’s various CDs & DVDs, Local Legends is a stunningly bullshit-free, self-aware summation of the minor joys & embarrassments of amateur art production in the self-publishing digital hellscape of the 2010s. It’s Farley’s masterpiece, and I see so much of my own experiences blogging, podcasting, and making zines in its cruel self-satire. Just as much as NOCAZ opened my eyes to Swampflix already being a kind of online zine before we were ever in print, Local Legends helped clarify exactly what I was feeling putting all this effort into go-nowhere art projects with no clear goal beyond the act of their own production.

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I initially wrote a Motern Media fanzine to help spread the word that Matt Farley exists out there, making amateur art for his own amusement (and minor, self-sustaining profit). Since printing the first few copies, NOCAZ has announced that this year’s festival will be the last, which already makes me feel like I’m living out the opening scenes of a Local Legends sequel. I can’t think of a more appropriate note to close our NOCAZ experience on than trying to convince strangers to purchase a zine about a microbudget filmmaker they’ve never heard of before, so that more people might experience the amateur joys of Motern classics like Local Legends, Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!, and Monsters, Marriage, and Murder in Manchvegas. In true Local Legends sprit, we’ll also be selling older zines we printed far too many copies of years ago and could never fully get rid of at past festivals. Still, distributing the Matt Farley fanzine will be our top priority. NOCAZ & Motern are easily the two most revelatory influences I’ve had in understanding exactly what I’ve been doing with Swampflix over the last five years, so I’m glad I could find an opportunity to experience them in tandem before that window closes forever.

For more on April’s Movie of the Month, Matt Farley’s satirical self-portrait Local Legends (2013), check out our Swampchat discussion of the film.

-Brandon Ledet

Spreading Motern Awareness at the Final NOCAZ; The fifth & final NOCAZ fest will be staged at the Main Branch of the New Orleans Public Library on Saturday April 6th and Sunday April 7th, 2019. Once or twice a year I make zines versions of movie reviews we’ve written for Swampflix to distribute at local festivals & events (with immense help from…

[makemoneyonlineprofit-blog]

Meet the Entrepreneur Ushering Vinyl Into the 21st Century

https://120profit.com/?p=2204&utm_source=SocialAutoPoster&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Tumblr As a teenager, VNYL founder and CEO Nick Alt worked at a record store in his Ohio hometown. It would be a dream job for any music lover, but for Alt, that gig was formative: Not only did it serve his passion for interacting with people, but it also helped him develop a skill for understanding their musical tastes and introducing them to the artists they may not have otherwise discovered. Years later, Alt would funnel his passion for music and record curation into VNYL, a monthly record subscription service that launched in 2015. The concept of a monthly subscription service may not be new—everything from your smoothies to your skincare products to your dog toys can be delivered straight to your door—but VNYL’s relentlessly personalized experience certainly is. Every month, VNYL members receive one or more records chosen by an in-house expert, based on their tastes, preferences, and current record collection; and that information is based on information they’ve provided themselves, as well as data culled across several of their social platforms. (As a bonus, they’ll get a handwritten note from the curator explaining their picks and why they’ll love them.)   For Alt, nailing down this unusual combination of software and retail took time, experimentation, and lots of love-driven labor. Here’s how he did it.   Entrepreneurial Beginnings Professionally, Alt came up in the age of early web development and video. In 2006 he founded Clear-Media, a video production agency that happened to work with several hospitality-focused clients. That service-based work resonated with Alt; it harkened back to his clerking days of putting the customer at the center of his efforts. On a practical level, it taught him the importance of developing a product with the goal of solving the customer’s pain point—not solely from the desire to strike gold. Soon Alt ventured into software, eventually developing award-winning apps, like Appetites, an instructional cooking app that was the first to feature video from a point-of-view perspective. Alt then parlayed those skills into creating an iPad/iPhone tool for video creators. That, too, proved successful; in 2013, his company Echograph® was bought by Vimeo.    While his extensive experience in the digital space was rewarding, Alt still found himself itching to get back into the music world. Then he came up with an idea that would seamlessly blend his software experience with his passion for music, as well as his deep understanding of customer-based products. That idea became VNYL, a bespoke subscription service that delivers its 10,000+ customers with new records every month.   Founding VNYL Like most businesses, VNYL started with the desire to address a couple of problems that, Alt decided, didn’t need to be problems at all—they just needed to be inventively solved. As a music lover, Alt recognized that there were a ton of talented musicians out there. But if they were unsigned or on very small indie labels, these artists didn’t have the ability to reach their target audiences as widely and effectively as, say, a Top 40 artist would. How could other music lovers discover these bands, Alt thought—and ensure that these bands are aligned exactly with their tastes—on a regular basis? “I saw that there was a problem inherently with music discovery. Unless you’re someone like Ed Sheeran, it becomes very hard to reach fans and find your intended audience. The old business of music was a firehose approach: We used to discover music by way of radio and radio promotion, and that would lead us to a single point of purchase, which was the record store. And that would allow people to experience the music for free, and then go and buy that artist. When that all imploded with the age of the internet, I’m not sure that anyone re-thought or reinvented that model.” The solution, Alt found, was in part to leverage valuable customer data that was already available. “In the age of streaming, a lot of that data is available to third parties, but most people don’t really know what to do with it,” Alt says. “I translated that into a music subscription box.” How Does VNYL Work? How exactly does VNYL retrieve all the necessary data to create a box tailored exactly for you? It’s a combination of that readily available streaming data, information you provide yourself, and the work of a VNYL curator. Here’s how it works: When you sign up for VNYL, you’ll choose a plan—the Solo, which sends you one record per month; the Trio (three per month); the Triple Triple (nine records over three months); or the BFF (36 over the course of a year). Then, you can hook up your Spotify, Discogs, SoundCloud, Last.fm, and Rdio accounts so your curator can take a peek into what you’re regularly listening to. You also have the option of linking your Instagram and Twitter accounts so the VNYL staff can get a holistic understanding of your tastes and lifestyle. In addition to that digital data, you’ll also answer questions about your current record collection, the type of record player you have, which genres you’re into, which artists you like and dislike, and any other information you’d like the curators to know about your musical tastes that would better inform their decisions. Every month, you’ll also choose a marquee record or mood that becomes that month’s #vibe, which sets the tone for the rest of your month’s records. But if that month’s vibes don’t resonate with you, you can simply choose the #curated option, in which case VNYL’s team will choose a record based on the information you provide in your profile. So what makes VNYL special—and effective—is that this service isn’t powered solely by predictive metadata. In addition to that data, VNYL’s curators, whom Alt calls “modern record store clerks,” pore over these customer profiles to match them up with the artists in VNYL’s record catalogue that they think they’ll love. “At any given time we have a few hundred titles in our inventory that refreshes monthly, so that gives us plenty of variety to match up the right music to the right customers,” Alt says. “The VNYL staff is about six curators at any given time, and historically that’s the magic number for us to service upwards of 10,000 customers at a time. Sometimes we’ll need to scale up or down. But every piece of that information is not being driven by metadata or BPM—it’s all being driven by real humans who take the time to review a customers profile from day one.” As Alt mentions, VNYL maintains their own, physical vinyl inventory, which they purchase “from anyone who’s manufacturing them. That could be a major label like Sony, or it can be from a large assortment of independent labels.” In keeping with VNYL’s mission to deliver artists’ music right into their target customers hands, occasionally VNYL buys their inventory right from the artists themselves—if, that is, the artist is “scrappy enough to produce their own records. “We love to find new content that way,” Alt says of these artists. “Often, we’ll even assist artists in producing their own vinyl. In the age of digital, there’s no shortage of amazing music out there, but I would imagine that less than 10% of the music has been made available on vinyl or a physical disc. Again, the goal here is to service our customers, as well as the artists who are like, ‘I’m killing myself making all this music, but where am I supposed to put it? I’m not really differentiated in the age of Spotify and Apple Music.’” What’s So Special About V(i)nyl? When Alt first created VNYL, he didn’t necessarily set out to create a subscription service centered around vinyl. Rather, he started with the problem that needed solving, and worked up from there. That said, vinyl has been undergoing a resurgence in recent years. Leveraging its revitalization perfectly aligned with Alt’s idea for a consumer-focused subscription service, as well as his desire to return to the music world for his next venture. The physical product wasn’t the inspiration behind the company’s name, either. Instead, it was what that tangible object represents: a human-to-human interaction. On a personal level, Alt found that a connection with the customer was what was missing from his years of building apps from behind a screen. “When I named the company VNYL, it wasn’t because we were shipping vinyl records; it was the sentiment that vinyl represents. There was an age when you went to the record store and had an interaction with the clerk. We want to re-create that sentiment. We can kind of act as your friend in town. We can say, ‘Hey, we know what she likes, and here are some things that are definitely not going to pop up on the front page of Apple Music or in your Discover Weekly on Spotify.’ That’s huge and unique and awesome, and it’s very tangible, too.” Incidentally, that sentiment echoes Alt’s beliefs about entrepreneurship. “That’s fundamental to building businesses: It’s about knowing your customer and trying to solve a problem for you them. As shockingly simple as that sounds, there’s no shortage of businesses that exist that don’t really line up with that, so it’s hard for them to grow and scale unless they look at themselves from that perspective.” That said, Alt is a true believer in the pleasure of experiencing music on vinyl—which, as you’ll know if you own a record player (or did years ago), is a superior listening experience to piping a song through your phone or laptop’s tiny speakers.    “I’ve collected vinyl for decades, and this format makes a lot of sense to me. It makes so much sense to us as humans, for some reason. It sounds different, it feels different, and it has this romance and charm to it. It’s literally the first format in which music became commercially available, and I don’t think people understand how special it is from that regard. ” Part of Alt’s goal, then, became not only to contribute to vinyl’s renewed popularity, but to remove the elitism that’s grown up around that resurgence and make vinyl accessible to all music lovers. “There’s this whole cohort of music buyers who consider themselves the ‘musical elite,’” Alt says. “Their tastes are precise, they focus on technicalities like fidelity and sound quality, and they’ve established what they do and don’t consider ‘good’ music. But the music business was never built on the people who are often attached to this so-called vinyl resurgence; the music, artists, were built off of fans who were impassioned and felt the emotional effects of the music, who could get into the deeper meaning of the songs. It’s a very special experience for people, and that’s what we’re going for as a business. Our overall pursuit is simply trying to expose everyone to awesome music.” Finding New Solutions In VNYL, Alt hit upon a model that achieved his goal of building a customer-centric business that delivered music directly into the right customers’ hands, and which made vinyl accessible to all. Or, almost all. To experience vinyl (or VNYL), of course, you need a record player. So, a couple of years after VNYL launched, Alt developed TRNTBL, which bills itself as “the first wireless record player.” Its setup is super-simple—it just requires plugging in a cable—and then it integrates with your home’s Sonos or Bluetooth speakers, as well as your Spotify account. Based on the music you’re playing on your TRNTBL, Spotify can then automatically create playlists for you. “TRNTBL started from that sentiment of, if you can detach yourself from the notion that vinyl is catered to particular, audiophile segments, then playing the music is inherently part of the experience,” Alt says. “So it felt wrong for me to be sending out new music every month, but not really putting a stake in the ground and saying, ‘Hey, this is how you could experience this.’ It provides a more cohesive solution to the overall problem VNYL is solving.”   Retailing at $499, TRNTBL is also more financially accessible than many record players on the market, which can require hundreds of dollars worth of accessories to set up. “I thought, why are we making people buy all these records, then you still need to buy over $1,000 in [turntable] equipment? It’s ludicrous. But I would imagine that that same customer probably has a Bluetooth or Sonos speaker. So, let’s just make it work with all that existing equipment.” TRNTBL’s wireless integration actually serves a dual purpose. It’s a unique feature for customers, but the link to their Spotify accounts also gives VNYL’s curators more insight about their listening habits. That’s valuable, precise information they can then use to put together that customer’s subscription boxes.    “It’s the first record player of its kind that can identify what songs are being played when the listener has the device on. So, if they’re a subscription customer to the record club, it allows us to have a completely different level of insight into the records that the customer actually spends time listening to. Because streaming data is great, but it’s so ephemeral that it’s hard to create a value system around. With streaming data you think, well, maybe they just listened to that, or their kid just listened to that, or maybe they share the account—there’s all types of weird things that you can’t solve for in digital. But when it’s on the record player itself, you know what the household is spending their time playing. That makes for a better experience for us to help them find the music that they would really be excited about.” Financing for Growth Like most small business owners, Alt bootstrapped his venture at the beginning. As a supplement, VNYL also launched a lucrative Kickstarter campaign, which was crucial in helping them vet the market and hone their product. VNYL then grew steadily, and layering in the record player a couple of years after the launch increased their earnings. They were finding new ways not just to grow, but to optimize what was already profitable. Once the company had proven its ability to grow with its own funds, Alt understood that they could explore outside financing. With those additional funds in hand, VNYL could do what it was already doing—growing and evolving—but exponentially so. But Alt also understood that there were plenty of venues through which to source that outside funding, some more legitimate than others. But when he discovered Fundera, Alt immediately recognized similarities with VNYL’s technology and customer-focused service. When he signed up, Alt worked with senior loan advisors Michael Yang and Nate Causey to navigate the loans process. And while working with Yang and Causey, Alt was drawn to the human interaction inherent to the Fundera experience—another aspect that was reminiscent of his own company.   “As a small business owner, what Fundera presented to me was quite compelling. It aggregates the more trusted names in financing, but it’s not just a dashboard of all these different products and offers. With a loan advisor, you really have an advocate—which I think of as my version of the record store clerk—to help steer you in the right direction,” Alt says.      “I already thought the brand was really interesting and cool, and I also saw that the founding team were respected folks in the tech industry. But the minute I had a call from Yang and Nate, saying, ‘Hey, tell me a little about your business, what are you trying to accomplish’—when there was that personalized touch—I felt like that was the equivalent of VNYL sending three records a month to a customer, including a handwritten note in the box explaining why these are the best options for you.” Like those handwritten notes his curators provide VNYL customers, Alt appreciated that Causey took the time to explain each of Alt’s loan options. With Causey’s guidance, Alt secured the funding that worked with his business’s current financials and, importantly, can facilitate Alt’s determined pursuit of building a better product.     Moving Forward, Branching Out With a business loan, Alt has more freedom for experimentation. Next up, he wants to branch out beyond the product itself and find ways to implement VNYL’s unique concept into other industries. “The way I see it, we’re sitting on a significant amount of technology that best powers a user experience. And unlike a lot of subscription retail, we’re completely vertically integrated. Other than owning a record pressing plant, we do everything: shipping, curation, design, tech— it’s all in-house. So any one of those concepts makes for an interesting business as it relates to the age of subscription businesses. Even the concept of real-time supply and demand, and making better use of your capital so it’s not just sitting in unfilled inventory, is a whole white paper in and of itself. That’s a potential product that we could spin out and create more opportunity for ourselves around.” As VNYL’s “exceptionally ambitious” foray into the consumer electronics space with TRNTBL proves, Alt is constantly seeking new ways to “grow, scale, and optimize” what’s already working about a proven model. That way, he and his company can best serve his customers (and fellow music lovers), who are at the heart of all of his ventures.   Editorial Note: Any opinions, analyses, reviews or recommendations expressed in this article are those of the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, approved, or otherwise endorsed by any of these entities. 120profit.com - https://120profit.com/?p=2204&utm_source=SocialAutoPoster&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Tumblr

[mrmichaelchadler]

When A Colleague Gets What’s Coming To Them, Graciousness Wins

We’ve all dealt with a colleague or boss who treated us poorly. It hasn’t been the norm in my world, but in past occasions when it has happened, I would channel the five stages of grief over a 48-hour period:

Denial: Did that just happen

Anger: Eff that guy!

Bargaining: Was it me? Man I stink, do I need to talk this out with said person and explain to get things back on track (twist: I bargain with myself)

Depression: Oh my goodness, this hurts my heart, this isn’t fair, why me, imma buy me a happy from World Market, listen to The Smiths, and sequester my husband who will need a cocktail after enduring my tragic soliloquy

Acceptance: It is finished, let me hug my husband for his support while I worked this out at home, buy him a happy from World Market, and get back to work

Wuh…that lost me about 325,000 brain cells.

  Seriously though, what if you really, sincerely, were wronged in a big way. It’s something that may have an impact on your dignity, reputation, or even your employment. This is really tough stuff, and I don’t care how savvy, put-together, or calm your general demeanor is, deciding how to react can be a struggle.

  And Double Bonus: What do you do when life catches up with this person? Aw, snap. Where did Instant Karma get them? What happens when they finally do get their just desserts? Sometimes, as the song says, “We all shine on….” You take the high road.

  How do you handle it?

Talk it out. From my corporate experience, in most cases, I believe in addressing the situation or at least what my perception of the situation has been, with that person. Let’s discuss it, set it straight, and move on. It takes courage, skill, and practice, but it is the fair thing for both parties. If you are a leader in an organization, this models the right behavior and can create great employee experiences, which hopefully leads to solid cultures of trust. Also, face it, in a professional setting you have no choice but to move on, so for your physical and mental health #justdoit.

Determine if you innately are a “low-sensitivity” or “high-sensitivity” person. A great friend and mentor of mine, an up-n-comer named Kris Dunn, taught me this. If you are a high-sensitivity person (Richard Simmons?) and they are a low-sensitivity person (Jeff Bezos), which are both OK by the way, this offers insight into how you potentially perceived the situation. More importantly, it provides a perspective on how you should handle the situation.

Know their reaction may not be good and may not solicit the result or closure you want. This happened to me once. When I addressed issues with a powerful, low-sensitivity person at work, he just didn’t know how to react. He was a bit shocked and said the right things in person, but then generated some passive aggressive consequences later. Ouch.

Talk to a friend, advocate, or counselor – it’s cool. I’m even OK with you talking to someone who knows both parties. But set the record straight — you want them to call you on your B.S. if necessary.

Move on. It is done. As a strong advocate for mental health awareness and wellness at work, this stuff will actually cause harm to your physical self if you don’t put it behind you. Triple that result if you have to see this person every day at work. Quadruple that result if this a person in a position of power. This may take longer than you hope, but with some tools/skills you will make it through until the feeling passes. And it will pass.

Then the real test: What do you do when this person finally gets what is coming to them?!

Be gracious, as people have likely been gracious with you. Cy Wakeman says, “channel your higher self.” In my leadership experience, it is not a good look to gloat, brag, or belittle them, especially on social media, even if you deserve to. And if you want to be rightfully selfish about it, it will serve you no long-term purpose nor make you feel better in the long run.

  Remember, all things shall pass including these situations. Courage, grace, and humility will serve all best, especially you. Sticking with the Beatles theme, just listen to Harrison’s All Things Must Pass, grab some cookies and…get back to work.

The post When A Colleague Gets What’s Coming To Them, Graciousness Wins appeared first on Fistful of Talent.

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[adampaisley]

My Foray into Gonzo Journalism

PART 1 - Drugs and Food

In an effort to expand my writing portfolio and find paid work, I’ve taken stock of what is popular in today’s media and decided that I need to pursue the technique of gonzo journalism.

My research shows there are a few paths I can take. I narrowed it down to two; either seek out really awful, uneducated people and tell you about them or I can write about doing things that are ill advised in a cool ironic way.

My day starts at 10am. I normally wake up at 7-7:30 and this day was no exception. But as a gonzo journalist, it’s a big no-no to start your day that early. In fact it’s more likely it’s when your night should end. This was going to be tough. I stayed in bed for a bit, read some news, posted a couple HBDs on Facebook and had a sensible breakfast before heading out.

I chose this day to start my new journalistic endeavor because it was the first day of the month after my birth month. Which meant I was driving with an expired license. I had received a renewal notice in the mail but chose to ignore it. Already feeling the gonzo rush, I head to meet a known local drug dealer to prepare myself for the evening. “Sup cuz?” he greeted me, using his e-cigarette, fully aware of the lack of research on the health ramifications of the technology. It smelled nice, like a blue raspberry sno-cone. I said as much. “Yeah, it’s blue raspberry”, he replied. This drug dealer is actually my second cousin Dale (I’ve changed his name from Dave to Dale to protect his identity).

“What do you need?” he asked. I left with some magic mushrooms and MDMA, or “Molly” in drug-lord parlance. I wondered if this was based on the great Canadian actress Molly Parker but Dave wasn’t sure and said “probably not”. I argue that she deserves something to be named after her but Dave has already left. With the drugs securely in my coat pocket, I continue my journey.

It’s now lunch time. I head to a dive restaurant that’s of such poor quality, even Guy Fieri wouldn’t feature it on Triple D. The decor was unappealing; The crown moulding was a mess. Real sloppy work. I have a seat at the counter. “Hi, what can I get for ya?” the waitress asks. She’s an older woman, mid 40’s, dyed black hair and heavy on the makeup. She isn’t unattractive and you could tell she was a dime in her day. Her small-town eyebrows are still sculpted the same way her mother taught her at thirteen. Personally, I’m feeling extremely uncomfortable, knowing I’ll have to describe her appearance in a weird, misogynistic way in the article as is customary in gonzo journalism. (Sorry Kathy! You were a wonderful server and I know your appearance has no relevance to the story but I feel as if I had to include this.)

I’m about to order a burger with fries but realize that isn’t ill-advised enough. I look to the back page of the menu. “I’ll have the fish please” I say, knowing full well it is likely already prepared, frozen, and simply warmed for the customer. “Okay”

Lunch was pretty good. I feel okay. The tartar sauce was actually quite good. I ask about it and am told it’s made in house. I mention they should sell it and Kathy offers to put some in a container for me. I gladly accept, pay my bill and head out.

I still have a few hours to kill before I’m scheduled to take the drugs so I head to a Starbucks. I’m doing this ironically as it’s not something a cool guy gonzo journalist would do. I ironically charge my phone and order a “caramelli frappiachi or whatever”, purposefully getting the name incorrect because I wouldn’t unironically drink such a delicious beverage. I sit and play a couple turns on my Yahtzee app before heading toward the hospital.

I decided to take the drugs across the street from the emergency room. I haven’t done drugs before and read about some pretty serious allergic reactions online. My reasoning for taking them across the street and not in front of the building was twofold; less chance of being seen by a narc (drugs slang for “Narcotic Tattletale”) and if I had to cross the street with a severe allergic reaction, it would be great for the story. As a bonus, the bus I wanted to take after was west bound so it made sense to be on that side of the street.

I ingested the magic mushroom and didn’t feel an immediate allergic reaction, so I hopped on my bus and started my “trip”. ;)

Shoot, I forgot to swear in the article. Fuck the establishment! Okay, thanks.

PART 2 - I’m on Drugs, which are Illegal.

It was hard to tell if the drugs were starting to have an effect or if the bus is always this unpleasant. I hadn’t taken transit in many years, as my parents gave me a Honda Civic as a high school graduation present and it has proven to be a reliable companion. I’ve had to do a few minor repairs but am overall very happy with the reliability.

On the bus, a man is eating sunflower seeds and spitting them onto the floor. Another smells greatly of urine, yet still has the mind to catcall a teenage girl. An unkempt teen audibly burps while texting with the keyboard click sound on. It’s hard to imagine this wasn’t a hallucination but a few people I told about it suggested that these behaviors are not uncommon on the bus. I push through it by fondly thinking about the comforts of my sedan.

I finally arrive at my destination, a public park. From what I had gleaned from my research, I was now supposed to experience something considered illegal in some countries with a person of notoriety. Perhaps do peyote with Deadmau-Five or ingest an extremely hot sauce with Dave Coulier.

I had contacted a number of people and the one who was kind enough to join me was a friend of mine who is a regional journalist who is verified on Twitter. He was not very receptive to doing anything illegal but after some convincing, he agreed to eat some foods that aren’t allowed to be sold in the country because of regulatory law.

We kicked things off with a glass of Ovaltine I bought online. You can get it where I’m from as well but it’s a bit different from the British one because it has a colourant that isn’t approved here. We both agreed; it tasted pretty good.

Next up, I had tried to get my hands on some farm raised salmon but it didn’t pan out so I had to get a bit creative for the next one. We each had a Kinder Surprise egg. They’re legal here in Canada but not in the US as the toy inside is a choking hazard. We removed the toys and ate the chocolate without incident. They’re great. I received a puzzle inside, which is disappointing but my friend got a frog that jumped if you flick it, which was pretty cool.

I thanked him for his time and asked if he wanted to hang out and join me tonight. He said he had to head home because he and his partner were going to watch Rango.

I’m flying solo.

PART 3 - A Set Back

Well, something caught up with me. Possibly the magic mushrooms or more likely the Ovaltine. I’m pretty lactose intolerant and spend the next two hours in the washroom with a Gatorade and my iPad.

I watch a few eps of (pre-Logan era) Gilmore Girls to comfort myself.

I worry my article is in peril of ending unceremoniously if I’m unable to make it out that night, so I take an Imodium and have a short nap.I wake up feeling better and I decide that I’m up to the challenge of a night out.

I think I’ll take my car this time. I don’t want to drive under the influence but I figure any effect the mushrooms would have had is gone after my time on the toilet. The bus is just too much right now. Especially with the threat of loose stool.

PART 4 - I Drop My Bean

I pre-purchased tickets to a concert by a local punk band called Truck Frudeau. From what I’d seen online, their music is terrible and their point of view misguided but I decided to attend anyways. My research shows that these articles aren’t about sharing great art but finding something that will result in people clicking on the article to scoff.

I arrive at the venue at 9:00 PM. It said doors at 9 but when I enter there is nobody taking tickets and the band is just setting up. I figure this would be a good time to talk to them for my story. I’m not sure of how the interview will go but if they’re cool, I can act like I’m cool for talking to them or(hopefully) they say something incendiary, and I can be really condescending and sensationalize it.

I ask the lead singer, Josh, what his main problem with the Liberal government is. He says that “Justin Trudeau is just a pawn who answers to rich assholes who want to sell guns to the middle east so people kill each other.” I imagine this is not the PM’s main objective but there is likely a very troubling and continued history of Canadian arms sales. I want to research this further but I know I need to be careful the article is political enough to draw interest while never veering out of the realm of trash entertainment.

I ask to the drummer, Wes, about what he wants to accomplish with the band. He tells me that he doesn’t “pay attention to politics. (He) just likes to smoke weed and hang out when (he’s) not working at the bank”. (Off the record, I ask him what it’s like to smoke weed. I don’t want him getting in any legal trouble and I don’t want to look like I am not cool in the article.)

I thank them for their time and they finish setting up. About fifteen or so people are now gathered in front of the stage. This seems like the right time for me to take the Molly(Parker) but I’m a little gun-shy from my earlier narcotic experience and only take half of the already minimal dose I purchased. I drink a whole bottle of water with it because I heard MDMA dehydrates and I’m already pretty dried out from the loose stool.

The band begins their set. A group of teens start to mosh so I stand near the back. I think I start to feel the effect of the drug because I find myself enjoying the band. I tap my toe and nod my head, really feeling it.

It’s now about three songs in and I’ve hit a wall. I’m so tired and can’t take it any longer. I head to the washroom, the music is stripped of all the deafening volume and I can really hear how poorly they’re playing. I go to the stall and sit on the toilet.

Next thing I know, I’m woken up  from a dream about going to the airport to look for my misplaced gloves. There was a punk band playing at the airport in the dream, which makes a lot of sense now that I’m awake. An awful smelling bartender with camo pants tucked into his combat boots tells me the show has concluded and they’re about to lock up. I ask them to call a taxi for me. I get into the taxi and give him my address. The driver asks me what band I saw. I pause for a second, then say “Uhh…Jeff’s Place” because I didn’t want to explain what Truck Frudeau is all about and that’s the best fake band name I could come up with at the moment.

I arrive home and head straight to bed. I sleep soundly until 8am which is very late for me.

Fuck the establishment. Thank you for reading.