#&&. 'no more running; no more lying.' || jack interacts.

[pedroscurls]

training partners (pt. 12)

summary: without another word from jack, you and hugh continue your relationship without any issue or distraction. filming comes close to an end and there's one scene that hugh needs your assistance with. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader warnings: smut (18+, mdni), lots of oil (duh, someone's gotta lube hugh up for that end scene), dirty talk, teasing, sex in hugh's trailer, oral - f & m receiving, unprotected p in v, swallowing, missionary, hugh covers your mouth (to keep you quiet), implied age gap (hugh is 55, reader is in late 20s-early 30s), no use of y/n. word count: 3.6k a/n: ok, this is complete filth lol. i had to write something about this scene because when hugh said that there were people whose sole job was to lube him up??? well, let's just say my mind went places lol. hope y'all enjoy! (needed some good fluff / smut before we get back into the angst hehe) as always, this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman. prev part.

Filming continues and you’re grateful that Jack hasn’t tried to reach out to you nor does he try to look for you either. Knowing that he got the hint that you no longer are giving him control of your life, it gives you relief. You feel like you can finally breathe again, can finally move forward with your life, with Hugh. 

Without worrying about Jack coming back, you’re able to get back to enjoying your day-to-day responsibilities of continuing to take photographs on set of the movie. Every day, you wake up feeling immensely grateful for Hugh, Ryan, and Shawn for giving you this opportunity. While you normally take photographs of couples who have recently gotten engaged and have occasionally worked a small wedding, being an on-set photographer and capturing behind the scenes content is so much more enjoyable. It gives you a glimpse of how movies are made, shows you the passion and dedication of each cast and crew member. 

But Hugh… you had always been a fan of his work and being able to see him in his element left you speechless every time. The way he’s able to switch into character so easily and become Logan Howlett - a character that you’ve always loved. 

Throughout filming, you’re just in awe of everyone on set and to be able to see the movie unfold right before your eyes is an experience that you’re sure will only happen once in a lifetime. 

And as the end of filming fast approaches, you embrace every second of every day you’re on set. You find that you fall more in love with Hugh, watching him interact with every single person and making sure that they feel seen and heard - he truly is perfect, and a really good man, and you have to wonder what you did to deserve him. 

Hugh hadn’t brought up Jack in months since the last argument you both had and you’re grateful. You never wanted Jack to ever be the reason to get in between you and Hugh. While you feel partially responsible, you have come to realize that it was bound to happen eventually. It was naive to think that Hugh wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. 

“So,” Hugh says, pulling you from your thoughts as you both remain lying in bed, limbs entangled after yet another intimate session of lovemaking. 

“Hm?” You ask, turning to look over at him as your fingertips run across his bare chest. 

“How are we going to go back to New York and not be with each other every night and morning?”

You arch a brow in his direction. You know what he’s implying and he’s just staring at you with a small smile. A hopeful smile. “I don’t know about you, but I’m glad to have my own space after–,” you tease, trying to keep a straight face. 

Hugh narrows his eyes and moves to hover above you, hands grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your heads. You’re both still naked and he makes sure to press his hips into you. You can feel him getting harder and harder by the second. 

“Wanna say that again, baby?” 

“How are you getting hard again?” You ask, lifting your hips to roll against his. 

“You make it easy,” he winks. “Now, don’t go and change the subject.” 

“Well, that’s really difficult when you’re literally distracting me!” 

Hugh smirks, his grip around your wrist tightening as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. “You ain’t gonna miss me?” He whispers, moving his hips as his tip brush against you. “Not gonna miss sleeping next to me and waking up next to me, baby?” 

“Hugh…” your eyes flutter and your legs wrap around his hips, locking your ankles at his lower back. “I will… I will miss you. I was just teasing and–”

Hugh grins and slides into you in one thrust, growling as your walls surround him. “That’s what I thought.” 

—

Later that week, you’re staring up at Hugh who’s grinning down at you. You’re in his trailer and he’s already in his Wolverine suit - albeit a little dirtier than when he first put it on and his arms now in full display. 

“You’re telling me that I will need to oil you up?” You ask, eyes wide. “For what? Why? Oh my god, I’m gonna– How will I do that?!” 

“Well, you put oil on your hands and–”

“Okay, ha ha.” You roll your eyes playfully, feeling his hands move to your hips. “Hugh…” 

“What? You want someone else to oil me up? That it? First you say you won’t miss me when we go back home, that you want your space, and now you don’t wanna touch me?” He teases with a smirk. “What’s next, baby?” 

“Oh stop, you’re being dramatic.” You laugh quietly, looking into his eyes. 

“So, you’ll oil me up?” He grins. 

“If I must,” you tease. “But you owe me.” 

“Oh, baby, just you wait.” He winks. 

“What does the scene even consist of where I have to put oil on you?” 

“You’ll see.” 

“Not even a hint?” 

Hugh shakes his head and leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Nope. I will say, though,” he whispers, moving his lips along your jawline to your ear. “I’m gonna try my very best not to get excited when your hands are all over me.”  

“Oh my god, you’re going to be shirtless, aren’t you?” 

His lips grow into a wide grin as he gently nips along the side of your neck, hands gripping your hips. “Yeah, baby.” 

You look at him from top to bottom, biting down on your lower lip as your gaze darkens at the thought. You clear your throat and look back into his eyes, slowly shaking your head. “Yeah, you owe me because I don’t know how I’m going to oil you up without wanting to–”

“Oh, I know,” Hugh chuckles, interrupting you. “Good thing it’s the last scene to shoot before we call it a day.”

“So, what I’m hearing is that after that scene, you’re going to take me back to the hotel and…” you wiggle your brows together. “You know.”

Hugh smirks, hands slowly moving from your hips to wrap around your waist, dipping low to rest on your backside. “I don’t know,” he lies. “Why don’t you tell me what I’ll be doing when we get back to the hotel room?” 

“You’re gonna let me have my way with you,” you grin, nodding excitedly. 

“Oh, I’m gonna let you, will I?” 

“Yes.” you answer, matter-of-factly. 

“Love the confidence, baby,” Hugh grins as he leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Gotta get back on set. I’ll see you later.” 

“You’re such a tease.” 

“Am I?” 

“Yes, Hugh,” you answer, pulling back and looking up at him with a small pout on your lips.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he winks. “You know I will.”

“You better.”

“I promise,” Hugh says. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you smile. 

—

Throughout the rest of the day, you find yourself distracted with the thought of having to oil Hugh up for the last scene of the day. While you’re still in awe of the acting from both Ryan and Hugh, you can’t help but your eyes deviate to Hugh’s arms as he says his lines. 

And even as that scene approaches, Shawn is the first one to walk up to you, a teasing grin on his lips. “So, you’re okay with oiling Hugh up for this last scene?” 

“I think it’d be weird if I wasn’t,” you tease, biting the inside of your cheek in anticipation. 

“That’s true,” he chuckles. “Ryan’s been teasing him all day about it,” Shawn points out. 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” you smile. “How much oil will I have to put on him, by the way?” 

“Um,” Shawn grins. “Quite a lot and depending on how many takes we’ll need to get the right one…”

“Okay, so we might need more than one bottle.”

“Oh, we have plenty.” 

“And this scene…” you begin, playing with your camera strap. 

“It’s a good one,” Shawn finishes for you. 

“I mean, it wouldn’t be Wolverine if there wasn’t at least one shot of him without a shirt, right?” 

Shawn laughs quietly. “That’s right… Speaking of the devil,” he nods his head over your shoulder and you turn slightly to see Hugh without his shirt, simply dressed in only the yellow and blue pants with the matching boots and cowl. 

You clear your throat at the sight of him, his muscles clearly defined as you bite your lower lip. Your eyes linger on his chest and abdomen, moving along his strong arms and shoulders. Ryan’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you turn your gaze on the other man, who’s dressed in his entire Deadpool gear.

“You might want to pick up your jaw off the floor,” Ryan chuckles. 

“Oh, shut up,” you reply, gently smacking his chest. “I see this every day, it’s nothing new to me,” you lie.

Hugh places his hands on his hips, staring at you with a slight tilt to his head and a small smirk on his lips. He can see your eyes flitting back to him, can see the way you're gently gnawing at your lower lip and he knows exactly what kind of look you’re giving him. 

“I know,” Ryan sighs dramatically. “Lucky you.” 

“Got the oil for you,” Hugh says, handing it to you and breaking you out of your thoughts. You take it from him slowly, fingers brushing against his. 

“Right. So, we’re doing this now.” you say, gripping the bottle of oil tightly in your grasp. 

Shawn nods and then looks over at you. “Don’t put too much,” he advises. “Just enough to make his skin glisten, like he’s sweating.” 

“Right, right,” you nod, clearing your throat. “Not too much, but just enough.”

Ryan and Shawn quietly chuckle to themselves before giving the both of you some privacy. You look up at Hugh and bite your lower lip, eyes lingering on his lips as it moves down the side of his neck, to his chest and down his abdomen and back up. 

“You nervous, baby?” Hugh whispers. 

“N– No,” you stammer. “I just don’t want to mess up.”

“I don’t even think that’s possible,” he chuckles. “I’m ready for you, love.” 

You nod slowly and then open the bottle of oil, squeezing just enough onto your palm. You set the bottle aside and rub your hands together to evenly distribute the oil before you reach out to place your hands on his shoulders, slowly moving them up and down before you move to his chest. 

Hugh smirks, flexing his chest for you and he lets out a quiet chuckle when he hears you quietly gasp. “Love feeling your hands on me, baby,” he whispers. 

“Stop distracting me,” you tease, pouring just a bit more oil onto your hands before you reach out to spread it along his chest down to his abdomen, feeling each ridge and muscle of his abs. Your hands move dangerously closer to the waistband of his pants, feeling Hugh’s hand immediately dart out to rest on your hip. 

“Careful, baby.”

“Just making sure I got everything.” Slowly, you pull away and look at him, his upper half glistening with the oil you just applied. “I think– I think you’re ready to go.”

Hugh smiles and leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Thank you, baby.”

“I miss seeing your eyes,” you point out, motioning towards the cowl that’s placed atop of his head. “But I can’t lie… this is just as good a view.” 

Hugh opens his mouth to say something, but hears his name being called by Ryan and Shawn. “Duty calls.”

“Try and get this in one take so you can take me back to the hotel.”

Hugh smirks. “Impatient, aren’t you?” 

“Do you see yourself? I’d jump you right here if I could.” 

“Naughty girl,” he whispers lowly. 

“Hugh!” Ryan calls out. “Come on, buddy. I’m sure she will oil you up soon enough.” 

“Go,” you say quietly. 

Hugh nods and then turns on his heel to take his place on set. 

—

It takes more than one take to complete the scene. After about two and a half bottles of oil and intense sexual tension radiating off you and Hugh, Shawn finally calls cut. Hugh walks over to you and takes the towel from your hands to wipe off the immense amount of oil that’s dripping from him, but he can’t help but watch your eyes ogle him. It always made him feel so special and borderline shy when your eyes linger on him, especially with the way you’re staring at him now. 

“Just gotta head back to the trailer and change,” Hugh says. “Then we can go back to the hotel.”

Anticipation courses through your veins as you keep a tight hold on Hugh’s hand, fingers laced together as you walk alongside him. Once at his trailer, Hugh shuts the door and locks it behind him. 

Before you can even ask what he’s doing, Hugh turns to face you and removes the cowl to set it aside. His gaze darkens at the sight of you and in just a few strides in your direction, he’s wrapping his strong arms around your waist and lifting you off your feet. 

Your legs immediately wrap around his waist and your arms move around his shoulders. Letting out a quiet gasp, Hugh gently rests you on your back against the couch, kneeling on the floor between your legs.

“Hugh, what are you–”

“Been wanting you all day,” he says, his large hands moving to your jeans and undoing the button and zipper of it all too quickly. “Can’t wait anymore.”

“Baby–”

“Shh,” Hugh whispers, tugging your jeans down your legs and tossing the fabric over his shoulder. He looks up at you and then moves his hands to the waistband of your black lace panties, slowly tugging them down your legs as well. Once your lower half is completely exposed for him, Hugh holds your legs apart and growls at the sight of your slickened sex. He leans in and brushes the bridge of his nose against you, hands gripping your legs tightly. “Goddamn, baby. You’re already so wet for me.”

“It was because of all that oil,” you whimper, moving your hands to rest in his hair. “Please…”

“And here I thought you were gonna have your way with me,” he grins, pulling back just enough to brush the pad of his thumb against your bundle of nerves. Hugh looks up at you, watches you tilt your head back and your eyes fall shut at the lightest of touches.

“Oh, I will,” you groan. “But first, how about you do what you need to do and–”

“So demanding lately,” he grins, leaning in to lick a stripe along your soaking heat. A loud moan escapes your lips and Hugh smiles, pulling away. “Baby, you gotta stay quiet for me. There are still people on set and we can’t have them hearing you, hearing what I’m doing to you.”

“Fuck,” you whimper, nodding and moving your hands from his hair to cover your mouth instead. “I’ll try my best,” you mumble.

“Atta girl,” he praises and leans back in to lap at your juices, your wetness slowly beginning to trickle down his chest. Hugh grips your hips, holding you firmly against the couch as he moves his lips to your clit, flicking his tongue against it as he brings one hand between your legs. Without hesitation, he slides in two fingers as he sucks at your clit, beginning to pump his two digits in and out of your depths. 

The sounds of your wetness squelches with each thrust of his fingers and he stares up at you to see how hard you’re trying to stay quiet. He smirks against you and slowly adds a third finger, a loud whimper escaping your lips at the intrusion. 

Hugh turns his head and places soft kisses on the inside of your thigh as he leans back, continuing to move his fingers in and out of your depths as he leans over you. With his free hand, he gently removes your own from your mouth and leans in to brush his lips against yours. 

“Feel good, baby?” he whispers, keeping his fingers deep within your depths as he begins to curl them inside of you. “Oh yeah, I can feel you trembling…”

You stare up at him, biting your lower lip as you try to hold back your moans. “Hugh, baby…” 

“Doing so good for me, staying so quiet,” he grins, his fingers curling inwards as your walls begin to tremble and he knows you’re close. Knows that you’re about to reach a heightened pleasure that he leans in and presses his lips against yours in hopes to quiet your moans. 

You reach down and grip his wrist, fingertips digging into his skin as you arch your back. You moan against his lips, feeling his tongue slide past your own and the sensations are just too much, too overwhelming. Hugh pumps his fingers in and out of you to help you ride out your climax, slowly pulling away to hold up his fingers in your direction.

“Look how wet you are for me,” he grins. 

You look up at him, biting your lower lip as you watch him suck on his fingers, cleaning your slick free from his digits. “Hugh…”

“So fucking good,” he winks. 

You’re breathing heavily, but you reach down for his pants and tug on it, seeing the length of his manhood pressing against the yellow fabric. “Take these off.”

Hugh smirks. “Yes, ma’am.” He makes quick work to remove his boots and his pants, kicking them off to the side carelessly. He looks down at himself, his manhood at attention and he settles himself once more between your legs. He holds onto the base of his length and runs his tip across your sex, growling lowly. 

“Gonna fuck you now,” he groans. 

“Please,” you whimper. 

“Being such a good girl, baby,” Hugh smirks, slowly sliding into you in one thrust. He groans at your wetness, your warmth walls surrounding every inch of him. He leans down and rests his forehead against yours, pulling his hips back before he slides back in. 

“Hugh, I don’t think…” you moan, moving your hands to his shoulders. “I can’t– I can’t stay quiet and–”

“Shh,” he whispers, moving his large hand over your mouth as he delivers a sharp thrust. “Yeah, you can, baby.” 

You let out a loud moan, muffled by his hand as you stare up at him. Hugh pulls out to his tip and slides back into you in one thrust, your legs moving to wrap around his waist. 

Hugh rests his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes as he keeps his hand over your mouth. Your moans and whimpers are muffled by his large hand and with each thrust, he can see the way your eyes flutter. Hugh’s thrusts continue at a rhythmic pace, your walls sliding along each inch and vein of his manhood. You’re so wet, so tight and warm and Hugh knows he can’t keep this up any longer. 

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna–” Hugh’s hips begin to stutter, but you reach down and push him away from you, causing a loud groan to escape his lips. He’s quick to grasp his manhood to slide back into you, but you shake your head and sit up on the couch, urging him to stand up. “What?”

“I want you to come in my mouth,” you tell him, biting your lower lip. “That’s one way you can keep me quiet.”

Hugh growls and nods, standing up like you asked. He brings a hand down to your cheek, brushing his thumb across your soft skin and gently tucking a fallen strand behind your ear. “Well?” 

“Now, who’s impatient, hm?” you grin, reaching up to wrap your hand around his slick coated base as your lips move to his tip. Wrapping your lips around him, you begin to bob your head, hollowing your cheeks as your hand strokes the rest of him. You keep your eyes focused on him, watching as he tilts his head back and a hand moves to tangle his fingers into your hair. 

“Oh, baby,” he groans, the grip in your tightening as you continue to bob your head in time with your strokes. Hugh can feel the tightness build once again in the pit of his stomach. He looks down at you and groans at the sight, your eyes staring up at him with his cock in his mouth. 

God, if he could spend the rest of his days like this, Hugh would die a happy man. 

“I’m close, I’m gonna–” Hugh’s voice cuts off as you take him even deeper into your mouth and he can feel the tip of his length hit the back of your throat. He groans loudly and gently brushes your hand away from him as he takes a hold of his base. He strokes himself once, twice, three times before spurts of his come release into your mouth. 

You feel his warm spend fill your mouth, a mixture of salty and sweet taste. You swallow it eagerly, slowly bobbing your head as you feel him shudder against you, his hand in your release loosening its grip. When he pulls away, you smile up at him and gently place a soft and light kiss on his tip. 

“Did you really just–”

“Swallow?” you finish for him and nod. “Yup… Is that okay?” 

“Is that okay?” Hugh repeats. “Baby, you’re fucking perfect.”

---

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@jules-and-gemss

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

ONGOMG I HAVE AN IDEA!!

How abouuuuut, a Creepypasta (you can choose It’s okay!!) with a reader that has DID/OSDD? Like, the Creepypasta gets to meet someone new literally everyday and get confused on who is who. YEAH‼️

I am DEVOURING, not eating, DEVOURING your writing like DAMN😦

TAKE CARE AND STAY SAFE AWWOWIWOW

-🐰

Just a heads up, I don't have DID or OSDD, but I do have a few friends who do, so i'm basing this off of what I know from them, as well as some reasearch i've done, so if anything is inaccurate please let me know!

And as always when the choice of creeps is left to me, I will be using my most popular creeps at the time of writing

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ticci Toby

In the beginning, it is a bit hard for Toby to adjust in your relationship

You told him before you got serious, that way he knew to just always check in to see who was fronting at the time, but he was still a bit slow to adjust

He learns all of the names of the alters, their personalities, their interests, their role in the headspace, anything he can to accomodate them as well

While he knows that he is only dating you, and not your alters, he still wants to help them feel comfortable when they are fronting

After he gets adjusted though, it isn't really a huge deal anymore

It just becomes a part of his routine to ask each morning who is fronting, notice when you start to dissasociate, and being there for you during your hard days

He probably wouldn't have interacted with any media or people with DID/OSDD before you, so he will be asking you everything about what its like

"Where do you go when you aren't fronting? Can you hear everyone elses voices too? What does it feel like when you front?" etc etc

If you are someone who falls or goes limp when you dissasociate/switch, he is there to catch you or hold you until someone fronts

He learns all (well, as many as you can) of your alters boundaries and lets them know on your relationship, because he doesn't want it to be a whiplash kind of feeling for them to just wake up in some random dudes arms

The way he sees it, he got a partner and a bunch of new friends for the price of one!!

If one of your alters didn't like him though, he'd be ok with that

It would just be kind of awkward when you start to switch out during something like a cuddle sesh

He just hopes and prays it isn't someone who dislikes him

All around, he's kind of clueless but he is very open to learning about you and your disorder!

Eyeless Jack

Being the medical geek he is, he has read almost every psychology book he could get his claws on

And when he ran out of psychology books he started looking more into specific disorders such as Bipolar, Schizophrenia, etc

He did briefly glance over a few books about DID and OSDD, and he'd be lying if he said the topic didn't interest him

But he just gets so excited to study everything at once he kind of just gets a brief rundown of a certain disorder before going to the next thing, and someday coming back to study it more in depth

When he gets into a relationship with you though, he gathers up all his books on the topic and begins studying heavily

He wants to know everything about this disorder, especially since it is something that impacts your day to day life so heavily

He will run some questions he has by you, because some things you just can't find in a book

"So when you say you "switch"....what does that entail for you?"

"Uhhh... my mind goes blank and I kind of just drift off I guess??"

"Interesting...."

He gets very excited to meet your alters!

But he is also very nonchalant about it at the same time??

"And thats when I said-"

"Who the fuck are you"

"....My love, it's me. Your partner"

"I'm (insert alters name here)"

"Ah, very good! Now, tell me all about yourself, when did you manifest?"

Of course, if someone is uncomfortable with relaying knowledge about themselves to a complete stranger, or even just doesn't like him, he understands and won't press on the matter

Every time someone fronts he has a bottle of water in case they need something to help ground themselves

He will bombarde everyone with questions and research there's no escaping >:))

Jeff The Killer

THIS GUY OMFG

He's only heard of DID/OSDD from those shitty movie representations, and Liu who 9 times out of 10, only switches with Sully

So basically Jeff's whole perception of multiple personalities is "Damn whoever the other guy is must be an asshole"

You try to tell him that there is not a "killer" alter, and most of the time, as long as you are nice to them, they will likely be nice to you, because yk, THEY'RE PEOPLE

And while at the time he's like "got it that's super chill"

He still goes from 0-100 when you first switch out in front of him

You could be cuddling on your bed, when all of a sudden he feels your body go limp against his

At first he thinks you fell asleep, but he sees your eyes wide open

You then begin to blink, then move around and shift a bit

"The fuck happened to you?" he asks with a raised brow

Your brows furrow as you look around your environment "Who even are you???" the new person in the front of the headspace asks

It doesn't even click with him that you switched out for a second, he just thinks you're being stupid

"Damn, am I really that forgettable?" He asks, leaning over to kiss your forehead

You make a face of disgust and shove him away from you harshly

He narrows his eyes at you, seemingly trying to process what even just happened

Then it clicks, and he feels like such an asshole

But he won't let you know that obviously

"Gimmie my partner back!" he says suddenly

You raise your hands up defensively "Woah dude what are you talking about?!"

Needless to say, when you come back Jeff is pouting in his room, angry that your alter can't just ~magically~ bring you back to the front

[fredwkong]

Virgo Season: Harold

There was no way in hell that Harold was going to do his presentations on the lawn. This conference was supposed to be prestigious, and all that he had seen so far was every so-called “real man” in the Astra Hotel running in terror from a group of deviants.

Harold had been a police officer in Detroit for decades, and even retired he knew he cut an imposing figure. Where the inimitable Pastor Blanco had failed, Harold had succeeded, forcing the staff to clean up the conference hall in the early hours of the morning, after the nightly freak party ended. The day’s discussions and meetings had been held in their rightful place again, and now it was Harold’s turn.

If only he could get the damn projector working properly.

While Harold had been on the force, everything had been microfilm and slides, even into the 2000s. The Astra’s conference hall contained such newfangled gadgets as an “HDMI port,” an “audio jack,” and the horrifically misnamed “Smart Board” that Harold had no hope of interacting with. Harold had been expecting that some of the young professionals attending the conference would be able to help him with setting up.

Alas, all the young cowards seemed to have fled the conference over the last few weeks, and so Harold had spent 15 minutes struggling with the technology before he turned to Blanco, his face purple with rage. “Get… me… the concierge,” Harold gritted out.

Blanco seemed about to protest at being ordered around like one of his lackeys, but then clearly thought better of it. Without a word, he fled the hall.

The door closed with an echoing bang. Without meaning to, Harold jumped as if he had been touched by a small electric shock. The small audience—not more than twenty, and yet more than half the people still at the conference—all jumped too.

Harold turned back to the podium where the mess of wires surrounded his ancient brick of a laptop, only to see that one cable was neatly plugged into a port on his device. Behind him, the large screen flickered to life, displaying his desktop background.

“Ah, that’s fine then,” Harold said gruffly. “Let’s begin, we’re behind enough as it is.” He launched PowerPoint exactly as the man at the tech support desk had shown him once and began the slideshow.

The screen went black, then flashed bright before the first slide came up. Harold could have sworn it had shown a picture of a smooth-skinned man in a rubber bodysuit, lying at the foot of someone in high heels. But there was no such image on his device, so he must have imagined it.

“The police and their policies are an important part of America and make ordinary life possible,” Harold began, following the notes he had written in his notebook. He went through the first few slides, on the glorious history of the American police force and how essential they were to the protection of real Americans, like him and the other attendees.

As he did, Harold felt himself beginning to get warm in his suit. He wasn’t the type for nervous sweating, but he found himself tugging at his collar, feeling beads of sweat run down his grey, buzzed temples. After the third slide, he took a moment to take a drink of water, and saw several of the conference attendees doing the same, or fanning themselves with paper and notebooks. Maybe it had been a mistake to close the doors.

“Please pay close attention,” Harold said, clicking to the next slide.

The slide was meant to show an image of Harold during his glory days on the force. Instead, for an instant, Harold was sure the picture was of some deviant in a rubber bodysuit, long socks, aviators, and a leather cap. Like a horrible fetishistic parody of his younger self.

He blinked, horrified, and the picture he was was as it was supposed to be, a younger Harold in his perfect police uniform. Somehow, he had imagined such a horrific image. Harold coughed awkwardly. “In my time on the force, my district…” he continued, rattled.

The statistics and policy changes relevant to Harold’s presentation seemed to swim before his eyes. He was sweating like a pig in this suit. It felt like there was something under the cotton and silk, something pliant and sticky against his skin. The audience seemed to be moving uncomfortably. Some were tugging on their dress shirts, trying to force air into the humid interiors.

Harold continued reading his notes. “Police put great attention on stepping on—I mean, stamping out—less desirable elements in the city,” he said, stumbling over his words. “Employee satisfaction reached an all time high when police were given free rein to fu—no, that’s pluck—potential criminals from their hiding places preemptively.” Why had he written that word?

But the idea was somehow enticing. That would have changed things in Detroit, Harold thought, as he kept on reading and clicking through slides. Walking into a raid lubed up and hard in a rubber—rubber? Yes, rubber—jockstrap, fucking sense into those deviant criminals’ asses… He tried to resist getting hard in his dress pants.

When he clicked to the next slide, it showed an example of exactly the kind of criminal Harold was thinking of. Tight rubber pants, his chest bare, giving fuck-me eyes to the camera.

“The criminal element—” Harold’s voice was hoarse for some reason. He coughed and continued talking about the inherent criminality of non-white men in America.

The men in the audience were leaning forward in their seats as Harold went through the next few slides. He knew that look. The attractiveness of the hedonistic lifestyle of a deviant criminal was getting to them. It was getting to him, too. He could barely remember where his discussion was leading.

No one in the hall heard the main doors stick as someone attempted to open them from the outside, but found them held fast by some force other than the lock.

The atmosphere had become close and humid. Harold could see some of the men palming their bulging groins through their pants. He wanted a taste of that. Pictures of men in rubber continued to flash on the screen, even though Harold wasn’t clicking on it to continue. Harold couldn’t tell if they were criminals or civilians anymore. Maybe they were just ordinary people. The images came faster and faster until the screen was a blur of rubber men.

Suddenly, the onslaught stopped. A video started to play. Two men, of very different skin tones, furiously kissing. Harold heard moaning from the audience as they started to imitate what they were seeing on screen.

Harold felt overwhelmingly warm, and started to unbutton his shirt. Had his hands always been so tan? As he worked, he tried to continue speaking. “In-in short, the police force… Oh god, the police force should totally fuck more, can you imagine? In uniform?” The pitch of his voice rose as his grey hair darkened to black. Graceful hands stripped away his shirt to reveal a translucent rubber tank top underneath. “Can you imagine if they put on some rubber booty shorts instead of those boring pants?” he continued.

The audience started to strip each other, following Harold’s example. The squeak of rubber on rubber sang out in harmony with smooth moans and gasps. Skin darkened and youthened everywhere as everyone let go of everything that had been holding them back for decades all at once.

Harold clicked to the next slide, knowing what was coming now. A man in boots and a rubber shirt, sniffing a black sneaker. “You gotta show your partner you appreciate all that sweat he’s been building up under his rubber!” Harold told the audience, hearing the licks and snuffles begin as men enthusiastically dove into each others’ armpits, groins, and abandoned shoes.

Hadn’t Harold had a water bottle? No, just the spare sneaker his husband had sent with him to the Astra Hotel this year. Giving the audience a moment to put his command into action, Harold gave the shoe a sniff, feeling as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders as his body tightened up into a tan, muscular physique.

He wanted to stretch out his long tongue into the shoe’s interior, but Harold knew that would spoil the musk, plus he needed to keep focussed on his presentation. Instead, he imagined giving his husband’s feet a nice tongue bath once he got home, giving his cock a squeeze through his sweat-soaked pants. Still sniffing, he wriggled out of the pants, revealing his black rubber shorts, rivulets of sweat still running down his sturdy legs.

Harold clicked to the next slide, the final moment of his presentation. A guy in a full bodysuit, his rubber toes extended to the camera. “Remember, it’s all about playing with power,” Harold called out, feeling his mouth slip around the English consonants. His mixed heritage, raised in a house where he spoke Lebanese, left him with a faint accent that came out specifically when he was horny. “You do what another man says because you trust him, and it feels so fucking good, right?”

There was a roar of assent from the crowd, drunk on their own lust. “Good boys,” Harold said firmly, and drank in the responding chorus of submissive groans. Leaving the slide up, Harold stepped down from the presenter’s dais back into the seating. He pulled his long rubber gloves back on as he went. Best to be prepared in case someone wanted to feel his arm up inside them.

One couple, a Chinese man and his little Black boy, had actually started fucking, the Black guy’s rubber pantseat unzipped so his tight ass could take his dom’s cock. An older Arabic man had his hands tied behind his back as he sat on the floor in a circle of men, all taking turns using his mouth. As he walked past, Harold tugged on the long ponytail of a Brazilian in a rubber shirt, enjoying the man’s groan as he kept bouncing on what must be a plug on the inside of his pants. They were all gonna have a good time until the non-rubber guys joined them for the night’s party.

The conference hall door burst open, and Harold turned to see some old white man standing there, surrounded by terrified hotel staff. Harold raised himself to his full height and crossed his gloved arms, showing off the bulge in his rubber shorts and the muscles in his translucent shirt. This was his place, and he was gonna protect it.

The hotel staff fled, and the old prude wasn’t far behind. Harold rolled his eyes and turned back to his fun.

Click here to see all of Virgo Season.

If you feel inspired, write a story set at the Astra Hotel and post it @ me to join in. Help me celebrate my birthday by turning more conference attendees into geared up gay kinksters.

[shallowseeker]

In 12x16, Sam is a bull in a China shop when it comes to mentoring/parenting/caretaking

Safety vs autonomy: the core Sam dilemma

He obviously cares for Claire, but boy does he ever struggle to connect with her. He tries to do the checklist of things you do for people you care about: he asks about her wellbeing, then insists she has a hot meal! It's cute!

But...

When Sam immediately starts pressuring Claire to call Jody, he's forgetting that he's probably overstepping. He's not seen her in a while, after all! He's being classic-Sam-Winchester-pushy.

He doesn't butter her up or give them time to warm up to each other, just starts giving her the stink eye right out of the gate. In short, Sam has no finesse.

Just look at that stink eye: =____=

///

Look at Sam in the next scene, when he's finally one-on-one with Claire.

He's still pushing.

Even when he asks about if things are good, he's passive-aggressive about it. (This is very different than the straightforward approach that Cas and Dean take with Claire, as well as what we see from Jody.)

SAM: So (overdramatic sigh, a sigh full to the brim with assumptions) really? Things are good?

The way he says really. It's sooooo annoying, God bless you, Sammy.

Look. At. His. Face.

No wonder she called him an old skeezer right after this.

///

Ahem. Anyway. Once of Sam's core values is independence, and in the past when he's interacted with Claire, he's embodied that, teaching her to hack credit cards, and nagging her a little bit about using hunting to run away.

Here, he's flipping quite suddenly to true parent!mode, and Claire is not reacting well at all to his sudden change OR his style.

The pushy!Sam mode isn't working for Claire, the same way the overcaring faux!therapist mode won't work for Jack in Tombstone.

///

Claire is kidding around with him because she's uncomfortable. She's trying to lighten the mood.

Funnily enough, I think Sam's actually losing patience/offended here!

When it comes to have patience/affinity for younger people, I don't think it comes naturally to him. That's why he reads the self-help books and books like The Drama of the Gifted Child.

It's why it often sounds so careful, so practiced, which sets him up for disaster when his very real natural impatience comes out.

///

In the moment, she needs validation. It's like the song she'll listen to: "I'll never be good enough, you make me wanna die." She needs to feel respected by Sam. She doesn't feel like Sam's frank with her, and she wants to prove herself so he'll respect her.

Then, Sam, poor Sam. Comes in with this sledgehammer:

See, for one of the first times ever, Sam prioritized SAFETY over AUTONOMY.

When Claire didn't tell him the truth right away, he went behind her back and called Jody to find out how exactly what Claire was lying about...

BUT he didn't "tell." He tried to have the best of both worlds.

Sam still wants to be Claire's friend. The guy in her corner. (Cas already reckoned with this way back in season 10. That was his whole conversation with the therapist: "She doesn't need a friend." etc etc. Dean naturally sets boundaries, sometimes his boundaries are too rigid, sure, but it comes more naturally all the same.)

///

Claire then complains about being at the proverbial "kids' table," whenever they hunt, that Claire stays in the car while Jody does everything. (Sam felt this way about John and Dean! And as far as the kids' table goes, he still struggles with that feeling.)

And boy do I love this moment:

Claire's insecurities are manifesting the same way past Sam's did: she's putting words in other people's mouths. Her own insecurities are being shunted and reflected onto other people! Sam does this so, so, so often with Dean, especially in the vintage seasons. (It's part of growing up.)

But anyway back to Sam versus safety!

And Claire explodes, kindly tells him to fuck off. There is no trust here; she and Sam do not have an established parent-child relationship, so his insistence for her to tell the truth...CHAFES.

And then BOOOM. And that's why this episode will always be beautiful to me.

Sam never thought he'd be on the other side of this issue, prioritizing a younger family member's safety over their independence and getting frustrated when they don't see things his way.

She's so hurt that she runs away. And he doesn't follow her.

Clearly, Sam hates this feeling with Claire. It paralyzes him so much that they separate and she gets hurt. Bitten. DOOMED. On his watch. All his care and worrying weren't enough. He wound up pushing her away, upsetting her, and making her less safe in the end.

In later seasons, we can assume being a parent-parent chafes for him, causing him to reckon with his safety-versus-autonomy values in a fresh, uncomfortable way. He mostly flips back to a by-the-book, mentor-style parenting/caretaker relationship with AU hunters, Jack, etc.

But this moment with Claire is chef's kiss...and to me why Sam's arc doesn't feel done at the end of season 15. This struggle right here is the path for Sam finally understanding why his family often behaved as they did! If there ever were a sequel, I think this would have to be the through line. (Also, please give Sam a Sam-John-coded kid that will drive him crazy. Pretty, pretty please!)

///

Fun aside//

We see that Claire tames her emotionality with music, something Dean and Jack do as well.

///

[goodolddumbbanana]

TO BE A MIRROR [2]

An Au when Sun is dead (by Nexus), Dark Sun pretends to be Sun while trying to find some way to revive him in secret. Nexus is having a mental breakdown, maybe get some redemption later. Everyone is not having a good time except Sun, that poor boy only when he is dead (temporarily) can get some rest.

It starts with hope and ends up with despair.

Dark Sun would never understand why, out of all variants of Sun. This Sun, or his naive stupidly version of himself, is still trying so hard to save 'Nexus' - the 'brother' who already fell too far of the cliff, the one who claimed he would be different so frequently, and just ends up doing the same process that every Moon does when things don't go as they pleased. Being a piece of shit and ruining everybody's fun.

He doesn't hate Nexus, not that much as he hated the other Moons. He hated all Moon's variants equally, mind you. But, that skeletonish version of his so-called brother recently started getting on his nerves.

He became too reckless for Dark Sun's liking. Putting his family in danger isn't a big deal in Dark Sun's booklist, but what Nexus's tampering pose a greater enemy to approach Dark Sun... And well...It could potentially be a delay for all Dark Sun's plans and a pain in his ass to solve it. Dark Sun wants to stay low, thank you. Not everyone is as dramatic as Moon.

Maybe he had miscalculated. Maybe, recruiting Nexus is a mistake, causing him more trouble than good in the long run.

If this situation continues, Dark Sun will have to deal with Nexus first. Even though it will be a waste of talent, and time and how trouble Sun has been through to get his stupid egoistic ass to come here. But, oh well, you need to do what you need to do… 

And who says Sun isn't the kind of person who would cut down an entire flower garden just because it had a few worms.

Oh, he is getting a side track again. Where was he? Oh right, that Sun, the spineless one, is truly something different. Dark Sun has traveled to a lot of dimensions, it always ends up with Sun kills Moon or the opposite. Or if it is not, Sun would be too scared or stutter to do anything, too stunned by reality. It truly rarely sees a version of himself, after going through so damn craps, still stays the same like this.

It almost puts him in a different perspective, and makes him feel a little bit of pity and...angry for no reason.

-----Some of my rambling words that maybe one day I would try my best to write all of this out.

Anyways, The feeling of emptiness and anger (a little bit flavored of jealousy and bitterness, pity and curiosity) is what makes Dark Sun start to stalk Sun from the beginning. He shows up at Sun's room randomly, he uses Neptor to talk with Sun when nobody is around, and calmly gaslighting him that if Sun talks about these 'Neptor thingy' with anyone, Moon will destroy 'Jack and Dazzle 's new best friends' and it would be all his fault. Also, Dark Sun promised that Sun doesn't have any value in Dark Sun plans so he doesn't need to worry, because if Dark Sun needs anything, he would go to Moon.

So, after a long long ass interaction and episodes, Sun gets used to Dark Sun's bullshit. He talks back, he ignores Dark Sun present, and sometimes, he expresses his thoughts for Dark Sun like he forgets who the person he is talking with.

They both know there have been some changes between them, but both choose to ignore it. They rather believe it is just an illusion than a real friendship.

They’d rather think between them just purely the manipulator and the one who is being manipulated, than both Dark Sun and Sun actually feel comfortable and understand each other.

They are Sun. They are experts at lying and suppressing their own emotions. So, it is no surprise that even with this  information that Dark Sun and Sun actually like to hang out with each other, nothing changes.

Dark Sun still continues his suspicions plans may or may not affect horribly with Sun's life, and Sun still tries to rely on his nonexistent plot amor to find out Dark Sun's secret and how to stop the bigger threats to hurt everyone he loves, and when push comes to shove, he has to realize and accept that he will have to kill Dark Sun just like every of his enemies.

And, it is why the confrontation happens.

Some episodes go by, Sun and Moon figure out there are some sinister reasons behind Nexus going off to madness. Sun wants to try to save Nexus, and Moon just wants to kill Nexus for good..

(MF can't stand the idea of another version of himself just hurting his family and getting free tickets to go back like nothing happened.)

They succeeded in getting into Nexus's lab (it is a trap), but they got separated. (Because it is a trap, Moon, you are dummy)

And because Dark Sun still has some Self destructive tendency he gets from Moon, he decided to be a little silly.

"Dark Sun!!? Why are you here??!"

"Oh don't worry about me. Say, Sun. Consider it my pity. Do you want to know where your New Moon is? "

They have some talk. About some secret unshow things.

And then we see Sun just get out of his trap room, and see Nexus, for the first time since a very long time and boy... It is bad.

Nexus, the one Sun feels responsible for, the one Sun thinks if it is not because of him, Nexus wont turn out that way, is just laughing like a freaking maniac and talking about his evil plan with a bot while dressing in pink.

Nexus despite his downgrade episode, in my AU, Sun is the only person he doesn't want to harm, yet. So when Nexus lost his control, he just hit Sun hard. And Sun dies.

Anyways, while Nexus gets yeet in a different room because he is too unstable (pinkish boy having a mental breakdown about killing the only one who still cares about him) for Dark Sun's liking, Dark Sun walks in front of Sun face.

Sun asks why he is not dead by now, Dark Sun said he has already planted some kind of technology in Sun head that makes Sun stay awake for more minutes than just go poof. Sun is still dead though. It just slows down the process, a very painful process for them to talk, the last talk.

Turns out between Dark Sun and Sun, they had made a deal. If Nexus can't change and kill or hurt Sun, Dark Sun wins. And if Nexus comes back to his senses, Sun will win and Dark Sun has to admit not every Moon is the same.

And when Dark Sun looks at Sun's eyes to see some regrets or hatred for Nexus like some symbol of victory, he is surprised because there is none. Just classic good old Sun - in Sun's eyes, he only sees the feeling of shame and guilt and blames himself for not being better, or trying to talk more to Nexus.

And in this moment, Dark Sun snaps. He yells at Sun's face, begging Sun just to just get angry, to just stand up for himself. Don't defend Moon anymore, he is not worth it, not worth for Sun's truth and love, not like that.

But Sun literally only likes a minute to live, the first and the last time in his life, tell Dark Sun to fuck off, so he can die in peace.

But Dark Sun doesn't do that. He is just sitting next to a half broken body of Sun, saying dying alone is very lonely and it is cruel to let someone like Sun, like them, to suffer this fate in the hand of Moon.

Sun asks if Dark Sun has lied about his plans not involving Sun. Dark Sun doesn't say anything.

Sun asks if it is the end for him, the answer is the same. It makes Sun laugh, it is a ugly laugh, the kind of sounds you only hear from a wounded animal.

Then, Sun uses the last of his breath, asking Dark Sun a favor.

And things go to history. Dark Sun accepts his new identity, and while still being manipulative behind the curtain, he takes Sun to a different room in his pocket and lives his life as 'Sun' like a promise for a friend.

[itsjusthockey]

Now We’re Even - Jack Hughes

Dedicated to 😛, who requested enemies to lovers. I tried my best and I hope you like it. Also, I feel like this blog is starting to become a Jack Hughes fan page (he's not even my face player lol). Anyway, send in requests. Do it. Right now. Or just send in love. I love interacting and want to do it more.

Also thank you for the sweet messages and follows, it means the world and I'm endlessly happy y'all like my writing.

One last thing, do you all like angst? I wrote something that hurt my feelings (in a good way but also not) and wanted to post, but I'm unsure. Let me know.

wc: 2,463 (credit to gif maker) (also please don't steal my work)

———————————————-

The first time Jack Hughes hit you, it was a complete accident. You were walking back to your car from your favorite bagel joint with the best hangover remedy. After a rough night, you had coffee, food, and your phone in hand when all of a sudden, a black Range Rover slowly backs into you and sends you stumbling to the ground, spilling the breakfast you’d just paid twenty bucks for.

You sit there on the dirty ground in shock, not believing that the sausage bagel you were beyond excited to eat was now lying scattered on the tar. You let out a sad sigh, still staring sadly at the bagel and the currently empty coffee cup, when the car is thrown into park, and a rather cute boy, around your age, gets out and rushes toward you.

“Oh my god,” he breathes out. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

You stare up at green eyes that are filled with immense worry and make a little self-diagnosis. Nothing feels like it hurts too bad, so you think the bagel and coffee must’ve taken the blunt force.

“I think I’m okay. My breakfasts not, though.”

The boy follows your stare to the pieces of breakfast scattered around you. He runs his hand over his face and shakes his head, almost in disbelief. He stays there for a moment, seemingly in more shock than you are, when suddenly he pulls himself together and holds out his hand for you to take. You oblige, and he pulls you to your feet, scanning his eyes over your body, looking for any sign of damage.

“I’m so fucking sorry. I wasn’t looking, which I usually do, but I was distracted by my brother texting me, and I-“

“It’s okay,” you interrupt his blubbering, “it might leave a gnarly bruise, but I’m fine.”

Relief rushes through his features when you finish, but then his eyes dart back to your scattered breakfast. “Can I at least rebuy your breakfast?”

You look down at your watch and then at the boy, nodding your head. You were starving, and you had nothing but time. The boy gives you a tight-lipped smile, and you begin following him back into the bagel place. You both notice the awkward silence surrounding you two, but neither of you speaks. In fairness, you both didn’t really know how to act in the situation.

When you enter back in, you quickly tell him your order from earlier and spot a table that you make a beeline toward. He waits in the small line that has formed, and after waiting a few minutes, he’s secured the goods. He saunters back toward you, placing the bag of food and coffee down in front of you.

“There. I also got you a chocolate cookie thing as another apology.”

You give him a small smile. “Thanks.”

You think that would be the end until he sits down, and silence plagues you again. You don’t know what to do when he opens his mouth and tries to make conversation.

“Well, hey, this situation could’ve been worse.” He chuckles lightly. “You could’ve hit me, and that would’ve been a big deal.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, you’re conflicted. You have no idea what he means by that statement. You were sure he didn’t mean it as an insult, but a tiny spark of anger flares in your chest anyway.

“I’m pretty sure it’s bad if you hit anyone with a car. Why would it be worse if I hit you?”

The boy leans back in his chair, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. “Well, um, I’m Jack Hughes.”

You rack your brain and throw him a confused look. Are you supposed to know who the hell he is?

“Okay, why does that matter?”

His surprised expression stays on his face, and he gives you a quick once-over as if he’s trying to see if you were lying about knowing who he is.

“I play hockey.” He states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Okay. I play volleyball with my friends sometimes; how does that make it worse if our roles were reversed?”

Jack licks his lips and thinks for two whole seconds about the current conversation, knowing he messed up. You don’t seem very angry, but your voice holds slight irritation.

“I play in the NHL.” He explains. “A lotta people would be pissed if I got hurt.”

You stare blankly at him, trying to decipher if he’s that full of himself or just acting like an asshole. You’re not crazy angry, but a distaste is forming for the boy sitting in front of you, and every time he opens his mouth, it worsens. You contemplate how you should respond. Half of you think you should just leave it and thank him for breakfast, but the other half wants to put the pretty boy in his place. Naturally, the petty side wins.

“Well, I didn’t hit you; you hit me. So, I guess hockey fans everywhere can rejoice that Jack Hanes is safe and sound.”

As you finish, Jack wants to correct you on his last name, but he picks up on the slight venom in your voice, and he realizes that he’s dug himself in a hole by being an ass, and he isn’t sure how to dig himself out. The only thing he can come up with is putting on his charm and hope that you take the bait.

He throws you a smile and leans forward. “Listen, I’m sorry, I’m coming off as an asshole.” He then leans back and plasters on a smirk. “I’m usually pretty good with the ladies, so how about I take you out?”

He throws you a wink across the table, and you’re suddenly happy you didn’t eat because you would have thrown up right there. You know this type of guy, and you hate it. They’re the type that throws the idea of a date and expects you to melt

Also, now you’re rather pissed, and the last thing you want to do is deal with a hockey player who seems to have an ego the size of Michigan.

“I’d rather not. Thanks for the food.”

You grab the bag from the table and walk out without turning around. You’re annoyed with this whole situation. Maybe you’re overreacting, but either way, you don’t care.

You climb into your car and race to your grandparent's lake house. You’re hungry, you’re starting to bruise, and you’re already over this day. When you get home, you heat the cold sandwich and replay the events of earlier, and scoff slightly. It maybe wasn’t the biggest deal in the world, but you were mad, and you hope that you never have to see Jack Hanes again.

**********

Fate wasn’t kind to you, and the second time you got hit by Jack Hughes, you really took it personally. However, this time thankfully, it wasn’t his car.

A few days later, you were standing in a crowded bar close to your grandparent's lake home with some friends visiting from school. The place was packed, far busier than you ever liked it. What was supposed to be a quiet girls' night out had turned wild when endless people began flooding in. All around you, people were packed closely, and you were getting jolted left and right. Normally you would be pissed, but you were feeling good. You have had a few drinks, and your friends are the funniest people in the room.

You’re sipping on whatever drink your friend got you, scanning the bar for prey. Yes, It’s a girl's night, but you all are on the lookout for men. Being summer in Michigan and close to the lake, you’re keenly aware that attractive men surround you. And what’s wrong with wanting a little attention?

Your attention is ripped away from scanning when a body collides with yours and almost sends you flying to the ground. However, before you fall, a set of hands grabs your waist and sets you straight.

It takes a minute for you to register what happened, especially since alcohol is in your system, but once you turn and see who had almost knocked you down, your eyes narrow.

“You.” You hiss.

Jack's eyes widen a bit, and recognition takes over his features.

“You gotta be kidding me.” You speak again, looking down at the hands still steading you.

Jack notices his hand placement and quickly removes them, throwing a semi-shy smile. “We have to stop meeting like this.”

You roll your eyes at the boy in front of you and scoff. “Maybe you should stop hitting me then.”

Jack lets out a snort but then recovers. “I’m sorry about the first time. And I’m sorry again for now. My buddy Trevor gets pretty wild, and I decided to take down whoever was closest to me.”

He points to an attractive blonde hair guy behind him who looks like he’s beyond toasted, so you believe that it wasn’t entirely Jacks's fault.

“I guess you’re forgiven. Just try to stop causing bodily harm toward me; I’d like to live to see thirty.”

Jack cringes when you say bodily harm, and he leans in next to your ear, a question spilling from his mouth without thinking.

“Are you okay?” His voice is soft and laced with concern.

If you weren’t slightly drunk, you would have never done it, but before you stop yourself, you pull the hem of your jeans down and show off your wicked yet small bruise. It looks pretty wild in the bar's dim light; you have to admit.

As Jack's eyes scan over the bruise, his face drops. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

As he guiltily speaks, you let a bubbly laugh out.

“Oh my god, don’t worry about it. This is the only evidence, and it doesn’t hurt badly at all.“

He doesn’t seem convinced, so you continue.

“Seriously, Hanes, I’m not gonna sue you. Relax.”

This time Jack lets out a small laugh and does correct you.

“Hughes, my name is Jack Hughes.”

You nod your head and smile. “Ah, Hughes, I like that better.”

You can’t see it, but Jack flushes a shade deeper, and then he remembers he doesn’t even know who you are, and he really, really wants to.

“Well, I’ve tried to kill you twice. Can I know your name?”

You scan him up and down and contemplate but decide to throw him a bone.

“(Y/N) (L/N), I would say nice to meet you, but I could think of a lot nicer ways.”

Jack snorts again and shakes his head. “I am really sorry about hitting you. Twice. And I’m also sorry I came across as an asshole.”

You think back to earlier in the week, and you find yourself nodding. “Yeah, you were, but I’m not holding a grudge. It’s forgotten.”

He nods at your admission and smiles slightly. Then he pauses, the gears turning in his head. He thinks about whether or not what he’s about to do is a good idea, but he decides it is.

“I think I didn’t know how to act because I was super nervous talking to you.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why?”

He leans closer to you as if he is telling you a secret. “Well, I was having a great day, and suddenly I hit a pretty girl with my car. Then I act like an ass, and you put me in my place.”

You pull back a bit to look at him as he continues.

“And I found that really, really hot.”

You shove him away from you as he finishes.

“You’re so full of it.”

He puts his hand up in mock hurt, but you can see the sincerity behind his eyes as he talks.

“I’m not kidding; I wanted your number the second I saw you sitting surrounded by spilled coffee and a breakfast sandwich. But I got nervous, and then I wasn’t thinking and said something stupid, and then you were gone.” He pauses. “Now you’re here, and I kinda feel like this is a second chance.”

You give him a hard once over, deciding if this is worth your time. He is very good-looking, apparently not that big of an asshole, and needs a driving lesson, but he seems genuine.

“Fine, you can have my number. But only if you introduce my best friend to your friend over there. She’s really into blondes.”

A huge smile breaks across his face, and he pulls out his phone. You grab it and begin typing away when he throws one last remark toward you.

“Hey, at least we will have a good story to tell people about how we met.”

(Bonus - Three Months Later)

“Jack, stop. This is stupid.” He waves you off as he continues tightening his helmet and hockey pads.

Once he finishes, he stands directly in from of his Range Rover.

“It’s totally safe, and I believe in an eye for an eye. So get in the car and back into me.”

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend and shake your head. “Jack, I’m not going to hit you with your car.”

He gives you an exasperated look, gesturing back to his gear. “You didn’t have padding, so you should feel better knowing I won’t get hurt. Come on.”

He throws you the keys, but you keep your feet planted in front of you.

“Jack. I’m not going to hit my boyfriend, who has a hockey season coming up with his car.”

“Then just gently back into me; it’s only fair.”

You really don’t think you’re going to win this, so you huff and find yourself climbing into the driver's seat.

You take a minute, hoping he’ll think better, but he doesn’t remove himself. You know how stubborn your boyfriend is, and you know he won’t let this go until you do it. So, you throw the car in reverse and gently back into him.

You feel the car make contact and see Jack stumble back. You can’t help but laugh and throw the vehicle and park and jump out.

He is sitting on the ground, smirking up at you. “There, was that so hard?”

You roll your eyes. “Maybe I should hit you again, smack the attitude out.”

He grins at your statement, and you pull him to his feet. He leans down then and connects your lips with a sweet kiss that has you smiling.

You think maybe he was right; now you’re even. At least until the next time.

Thanks for reading, I love you.

[the-phoenix-heart]

Sorting Hat Chats - A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Heeeey I'm back again. Hunger Games is one of my recent hyperfixations, so I'm doing a sorting of the latest book/film. I'll only be sorting Coriolanus Snow and Lucy-Gray Baird in this post. And Dr. Gaul oops.

An explanation of the system I am using can be found here. (Credit: @wisteria-lodge )

SPOILERS FOR A BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES BOOK AND FILM

LUCY-GRAY BAIRD is a thriving, healthy Snake secondary through and through. She loves performing, she loves playing coy, and she clearly relishes in getting one up on her enemies. This is a woman who turn her death sentence into a concert. Her plan to defeat Reaper, someone larger and deadlier than her, is to piss him off and give him the run around until he dies of exhaustion (or drinks from a poisoned puddle). To get one up on Mayfair when her name is called Lucy-Gray puts a snake in her dress to freak her out and subsequently humiliate her on live TV. No punches held back.

She's described by her actress as "a performer in a hunt," and she is. She always gives off the impression that she is always acting and always authentic in every moment. Snow certainly can never tell if she's lying or not and for all his faults he is smart.

CORIOLANUS SNOW meanwhile is a Bird secondary (I know, oh the irony) and the two secondaries slot in well together. In ABOSAS we see how he is always calculating in every interaction how he can leverage this for the most gain. He wears a carefully manufactured mask playing up whatever trait he has to to get what he wants from the person he is talking to. That's the Actor Bird in him, he can't just become someone like Lucy-Gray can. Which is why Snow works so well as a mentor for her. He can make all the plans he wants and give her every advantage to win, and she can immediately go along with it without skipping a beat.

We also see his Bird secondary on full display when he starts to come into power. He immediately starts making plans for the 11th Hunger Games when he comes back to the Capitol. His signature method for killing people is poison, and in sixty years that never changes. It's a risky plan that always works so why would he change it? And of course we know after he becomes president just how much effort he puts into controlling Katniss with more and more plans.

As for their primaries, well, that's why they constantly misunderstand each other. Coriolanus and Lucy-Gray look at each other and they both see a Snake primary, but those aren't their true sortings. Lucy-Gray is wearing a Snake primary model, and Coriolanus is wearing a Snake primary performance, not even a model.

Lucy-Gray loves the Covey, but at the end of the day when Mayor Lipp wants her dead Lucy-Gray doesn't need to think twice about running away. She knows they can take care of themselves, and she values her own freedom above anything else. It's apparent also in how she treats Billy-Taupe. She loved him once, but the moment he cheated on her she immediately cut him out of her life and doesn't seem to regret that decision. "Without trust you might as well be dead to me."

Lucy-Gray is a Lion primary, and like her secondary it's healthy. Her mantra is "Nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping." She's another example of the Jack Sparrow style of Lion primary, the Fae lion. Freedom is good and control is bad. It's also why when she leaves Snow she makes it a whole production where she sings him "The Hanging Tree" and runs around him as a way to fuck with him. She knows that Corio isn't the man she thought he was and she wants to show him she knows.

Lucy-Gray is the Yin to Katniss's Yang. Katniss is a famous Snake Lion, and Lucy-Gray is the inverse of that, a Lion Snake. That quote about Lucy-Gray being a performer in a hunt is followed by Katniss being "a hunter in a performance." The revolution in a small way begins with Lucy-Gray and is ended by Katniss. Lucy-Gray loves freedom before all else, and that means she is never going to fight the Capitol like Katniss would, "it's too early for [K]atniss," she says. But Katniss is that Snake primary who loves so deeply and devastatingly that of COURSE she would end up fighting the Capitol.

But I think Lucy-Gray likes Snake primaries. I think she likes how much the value freedom, but also the way they value their people. That's what she sees when she sees Snow, a man who will do anything to protect the people he loves over himself. But that's just a performance Snow puts on, because he knows that looks much more nobler than what he actually is.

Snow actually primary matches Lucy-Gray. When we see him he's a young lion. The impression I get from Snow is entitlement. He thinks because of the way he was born that he just inherently deserves to have what is owed to him. But after it's found out that he cheated to help Lucy-Gray win, he is stripped of what little he had and sent to be a peacekeeper. He doesn't know what he wants anymore, because he can't have what he truly wants, so he convinces himself what he wants is Lucy-Gray. Except, the moment he realizes he can absolutely still get that power he turns on her immediately.

His goals never change, in the end Snow does indeed land on top, as he achieves those goals. He becomes president, and then it becomes all about maintaining power and control. And that's the real crux of his Lion primary. Like Lucy-Gray he is a Fae Lion, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. Power and control are good, and he should have that over everyone else in the world. I also see his primary in his method of choice for killing people. He willingly poisons himself so no one catches on, that is some lion devotion to his cause of control.

But, despite him trying to appear completely composed at all times, you can see that very emotional Lion primary underneath it all. I mean, he's clearly obsessed with screwing over Katniss's life in particular because he sees both Lucy-Gray and Sejanus in her. Meanwhile everything he does that fucks with Peeta is to fuck with her, despite the fact that he was also part of that suicide threat. He doesn't like that emotional Lion I think. What he wants is to maintain control over everything, and the appear as though he has this carefully constructed worldview/ideology. He has these intelligent/convincing arguments on the power of hope and the purpose of the games. It can look very Bird to people, and I think it is. DR. GAUL is absolutely a Double Bird Mad Scientist, and I think Snow adopted a Bird primary model based off of hers.

So...

Lucy-Gray Baird - Lion primary, Snake model/Snake secondary

Coriolanus Snow - Lion primary, Bird model and Snake performance/Bird secondary

Dr. Gaul - Bird primary/Bird secondary

[cedarxwing]

Hello!! I read your vitruvian man meta it's so accurate 😭😭

Bryan Fuller said this during S3a.

"Hannibal's gone through this whole experience, and he's been on the lam with Bedelia thinking about the context of his relationships with others. And what he comes out the other end with is missing Will Graham and wanting to send him a valentine and draw him near. Gideon performed a certain role. Gideon even says that Hannibal, like a snail, enjoys eating in company. We see him enjoying being with Bedelia. So, he is a social creature in many ways, but neither Gideon nor Bedelia can be substitutes for the one who captured his heart, and that's Will Graham."

Do you think during the Anthony Dimmond scene where Bedelia tries to run away from Hannibal is when Hannibal decides that Bedelia was not a good replacement for Will and starts to miss Will? Is that why he made the Human heart because he was pining for Will ?

Thank you! <3 At the risk of repeating that Fuller quote verbatim, yes, Hannibal totally makes the human heart because he's pining for Will. Very "tortured artist writing a love poem" vibes. Constructing the tableau is probably cathartic in its own right, but it's also:

a siren call to lure Will to Italy so that Hannibal can see him again (pathetic)

an "I miss you, please, we can still make this work" (desperate)

an invitation to "enter the foyer of his mind and stumble down the hall of his beginnings," because Hannibal still wants Will to try to know him, even if only to hunt him down and kill him (sad)

Placement in the Norman Chapel means that Hannibal gets to watch Will enter his memory palace both physically (moving through the literal space) and figuratively (piecing together the message in his tableau) at the same time. There's something so intimate about Will walking around that building during the investigation, the only one to know that, in a way, they're inside Hannibal. I always wonder if Hannibal gets off on that when he's spying on Will from above...

Regarding Bedelia: You probably didn't mean it this way, but the recent ship war between bedannibal and hannigram is sooo tired imo. Before I dive into analysis, I want to be clear that I fully support Hannibal and Bedelia banging on every surface of their luxurious palazzo apartment. Acknowledging that both Hannibal and Will have had multiple loves in their lives doesn't detract from hannigram. Personally, I find that aspect of their relationship beautiful and relatable.

The way I see it, Bedelia has been rejecting Hannibal continuously since their first interaction in Sorbet. ("We're not friends," "Since you refuse invitations to my dinner table, this is the only way I could cook for you," "I'm ending our patient-psychiatrist relationship," "Is this professional curiosity? Almost entirely.") During their time in Florence, she refuses to eat anything with a central nervous system. She's not amused when Hannibal contemplates killing Sogliatto or when Dimmond discovers their secret, as her primary concern is lying low. Her trying to run away in Antipasto is merely the rejection that convinces Hannibal that she'll never fully accept him.

For Hannibal, it also recontextualizes his past relationship with Will. From his perspective, the two critical differences between Will and Bedelia are:

Will willingly ate human flesh with him. It doesn't matter that it was part of an act. It doesn't matter if Will hated it at the time. Hannibal will always dream of their Naka Choko dinner date. That type of acceptance ("eating in company") is what he wants more than anything.

Will's empathy allowed him to return Hannibal's affection. Their relationship began with betrayal, but in the end, Will chose Hannibal, even if Hannibal didn't see it that way at the time.

Jack sums it up perfectly here:

At the same time, S3a Will has a lot of the same hang ups as Bedelia: fear of getting caught by the authorities, fear of losing himself in Hannibal's influence, not wanting to be killed and eaten, etc. So it's not so much that Hannibal decides that "Bedelia wasn't a good replacement for Will." It's that he learns to value Will's potential (aka his malleability, as Chiyoh puts it) after Bedelia resoundingly shuts him down.

In summary, sitting on the train en route to Palermo, Hannibal is heartbroken at Bedelia's rejection and longs for the acceptance he found with Will. He wants someone who will delight and participate in wickedness, not tolerate and observe.

...

To be honest, I find it more interesting to compare Will to people like Gideon and Tobias from Hannibal's perspective. As you quoted Fuller, "Neither Gideon nor Bedelia can be substitutes for the one who captured his heart." What's wrong with Gideon then? But that's a topic for a different post lol.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

[seabysiren]

I have an idea for "streamer au". How about the chat shipping the ghost with the reader? How do they always leave cute and funny comments whenever there is interaction between them? Or how the ghost is made silly in some situations by the reader? I would love to read this situation :) this is probably very badly written, and full of mistakes, sorry, my english sucks :/

your english is good! no mistakes or bad wording. <3

-

at first its subtle.

chat honestly thought ghost and you were very good friends. that was until he started to transition into quiting his day job to be a full time streamer. he asked several other streamers on how they keep a schedule, realistic goals, and how to keep the viewers entertained.

this meant branching out from just gaming.

ghost made his first appearance since he started the channel. you helped him black out the areas around his eyes and he donned the skull balaclava.

even though streaming would catch a lot of attention, ghost thought it would be better to keep a bit of privacy for himself. thus the mask.

you wore a plain black medical mask deciding it would be better to hide at least a part of your face for privacy.

the first thing chat picked up on was the difference in size.

they honestly thought ghost was bluffing when he told them he was 6'4.

he wasn't lying. the height difference shows when you hit him for leaning against you, arm on top of your head as the two of you chilled.

or when he wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you against him. out of the way of chaotic soap as he runs around the set like a child on crack.

it was interesting to see the way that the two of you interacted, especially because for so long you only had a voice/edits made.

chat constantly says they can see ghost blushing when you tease him on his size. you think its hilarious that ghost's jacked af yet doing an overglorified office job. he lowkey flexes everytime he sees you eying his muscles.

it gets even more hectic when soap joined. you and soap constantly clown on each other and chase each other around the house. chat either eggs it on or feels bad that ghost has two leash children he has to constanly look after.

two gremlins and a tired parent trio.

but when soap's talking to you, ghost will just silently stare. straight at you. practically without blinking.

he zones out a lot when he looks at you. thinking what you would look like or how you would react if he did the things soap does to get your attention.

someone pointed it out later with a small short. putting heart emojis and stars around ghost as the camera pans from him to you laughing at something soap said.

the channel has officially adopted your 'streamer' name despite being the editor. they call you hound. because you can be so playful and easygoing, yet in games and when editing you're absolutely ruthless in your worth ethics.

ghost calls you pup.

the first time he called you that chat flipped out. it was midday when you came in with food for ghost. because he hadn't eaten breakfast in order to stream.

you had briefly popped into the face cam as you said

'here's some food.'

'thanks pup.' ghost was too focused on defeating hollow knight that he let it slip. and chat went wild.

chat calls it out everytime ghost lets it slip. soap always ends up exploding with laughter as he mockingly calls you pup.

and ghost? he just crosses his arms around his chest and sulks. most likely pouting underneath the mask.

chat argues about the ship name.

ghosthound.

houndghost.

ghound.

houst.

ghost got a donation alert that asked him about his preference one day while he was streaming valorant. the audience could hear the way his chair creaked as he leaned back and thought for a moment.

"ghosthound."

he accepted no further answers or questions about it. but that day twitter made ghosthound trend. lots of pictures and posts claiming the ship is official as people absolutely fawn over this moody giant and his happy little editor.

feeding further into the shipping, ghost had mindlessly liked a really nice fanart of the two of you hugging.

and suddenly he's getting tagged in tiktok edits and fanart.

he secretly looks through all of them in his freetime. he would never admit it.

though you have seen him scroll through those tags a few times. you pretended not to notice.

overall chat loves ghosthound and wouldn't give up anything for it.

...

except maybe another otp.

[cloudlessly-light]

Nobody else (7/7)

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's read and interacted with this story, this is the final chapter and I hope it doesn't disappoint!

I'll be back with my normal filth hopefully ASAP!

Title: Nobody else Summary:It’s because of them that she keeps fighting. Because of all of them.

An Ian Doyle arc AU. Word count: 3,1k   Rating: Mature Warnings: Violence, guns, knives, reference to blood, injury and broken bones. Mention of throwing up. Canon typical violence. Hospital stays.

2011 (2 weeks ago)

“What about city hall?”

“Huh?” She’s brought back from her daze by the sound of Aaron’s voice coming from the bathroom. “Sorry what?”

“City hall, for our wedding?” Aaron comes out drying his hair with a towel around his lower half but stops as he looks at his fiancé, she looked pale he noticed. “Are you alright sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She lies. She was anything but fine. Less than an hour ago she had sat across from Ian Doyle in a park, a man she thought she would never have to see again. The team was already looking into him, but no one knew about her connection to him. He had been so casual about his promise to end her, had enjoyed as her eyes widened in fear at the mention of Jack. He was back to ruin her and she needed to stop him before it was too late.

“Are you sure?” His eyebrows furrow as he studies her. “You look like you’re going to be sick.” The words are barely out before she rushes past him and seconds later he hears her heave into the toilet. He hurries after her, holds her hair and gently strokes her upper back. “You must have caught something from Jack’s friends.” He mumbles and she nods once she’s caught her breath, her forehead leaning on her forearm on the toilet.

“Yeah, that must be it.” She offers him a smile before letting him help her up to stand. “It’s probably just a bug.”

She hates lying to him, hates that he looks at her with nothing but love and trust and adoration. But she couldn’t tell him about Doyle, the danger was too great, there was too much she was still under oath not to disclose. She loved him and Jack more than anything in this world, and she would do anything to protect them. Even if that meant sacrificing herself.

She packs a bag the following day while Aaron is at work, hides it in the closet that neither of them ever uses downstairs.

When she leaves two days later, she leaves her engagement ring on his dresser with a note.

I have to kill him, I love you. Em.

*

She’s standing in the doorway, there’s music coming from somewhere and she feels his arms behind her, holding her close. He’s her safe space, her home, he’s what made her believe in love again.

“You’re home.” He kisses her shoulder softly and then lets her turn in his arms.

“Not yet. Soon I hope.” Her arms wrap around his neck and his forehead falls against hers. She breathes him in with a sigh, her eyes closing as she lets herself fall into the familiarity of him. They stand together for what feels like a lifetime and yet like no time passes.

“You shouldn’t have run.” He tells her quietly and she nods, wordlessly agreeing.

“I know. I was trying to protect you.”

“You have to keep fighting.” His words are soft and quiet, but she hears the hint of worry.

“I will.” It’s a promise she refuses not to keep. Because they were closer, she could feel them.

“I love you so much sweetheart. Don’t ever forget that.”

She doesn’t get the chance to say it back before he’s gone.

*

2011

She wakes in a panic, heaving for breath as she sits upright. For a few seconds she’s back in the cabin, Aaron was gone, she wasn’t home yet and she feels dread seep through every inch of her body. But then she blinks and as her eyes adjust to the darkness she sees the familiar dresser to her right, feels the warmth of his body next to her. She was home, in their bed.

It was the first night spent at the house since she was rescued, a whole week later. She was happy to be out of the hospital, so relieved to sleep in a bed that was big enough for the both of them.

“Sweetheart?” The sound of his voice calms her further as he sits up next to her. He presses a kiss to her shoulder. “You’re okay.”

She nods wordlessly and leans into him. He wipes the sweat off her forehead gently, staying close as her breathing evens out.

“I’m sorry for waking you.” Her lips turn into an apologetic smile even as he shakes his head at her.

“Was it a nightmare?” He ignores her apology because it wasn’t a necessary one. She had always had dreams, sometimes nightmares and he only expected them to become more frequent now.

“Yes, no, I- I’m not sure I can’t really explain it.” She chuckles tiredly at herself and slowly lays back down to rest her head against the pillows.

“Want to try?” He lays back down too, but stays on his side, his head propped up on his hand.

She sighs heavily, her eyes locked on the ceiling. They still hadn’t talked much about her time with Doyle, he knew that she was beaten, marked and burned but not much else. He had managed to piece most of it together, evidence at the house and burnt bodies and Emily’s injuries making it easy.

“When I ran, my only thought was to kill him, because he had threatened you and Jack, our life.” She twists her engagement ring on her finger around nervously under the covers, but his larger, warmer hand found its way to hers and she interlocked their fingers. Her grip was probably too tight, but he didn’t say anything. He was her anchor, the one thing keeping her steady.

“But Clyde and Tsia refused to let me go alone. Tsia wanted revenge on them for killing Jeremy, Clyde always looked after us, even when we didn’t want it.” She chuckles dryly. “And it got them killed.”

He squeezes her hand gently, not interrupting her but wordlessly giving him whatever support she needed, because it wasn’t her fault that they died and he needed her to know that.

“But I dreamt,” She continued, eyes unfocused as she remembered back to her days in that cold cabin, when she almost lost hope. “I dreamt of you, of the team. And when Doyle needed information, it worked think about all of you. It reminded me what I was fighting for.”

“Em,” He’s slow when he lets go of her hand and instead cups her cheek to turn her face enough to look at him. “We never stopped fighting for you either.”

“I know.” Her smile is shaky but it’s there. And that was more than enough for now.

*

“Are you in a lot of pain still?” Penelope asks as she puts the cup of coffee down in front of her. The blonde had been the first one on Emily duty, she had a feeling that her friend had threatened anybody who had tried to take her place.

She wasn’t allowed in the field for another couple of weeks, and even then it would be desk duty for some time and in the meantime, the team had decided to keep her company at home.

“It’s better.” She says as she reaches for the mug and takes a sip and ignores the pain in her ribs as she does. “You don’t have to babysit me.” She tries to joke but when she looks up Penelope is staring her down, her brown eyes filled with concern and tears already. “Please, Pen, don’t.”

“You could have died.” She blinks away her tears and takes Emily’s hand the second she lets go of the mug. “You could have died Emily.”

“But I didn’t, I didn’t because of you.” She strokes her thumb over the top of the other woman’s hand who looks at her with confusion. “You reminded me how beautiful life is and I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for that.”

It’s silent between them for a few seconds, Penelope’s eyes intent on hers until she smiles and leans back on the couch next to her.

“If you ever try something like this again, I’m calling your mother.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Spencer is next, showing up with more books than she’d ever be able to read and movies in Russian and French.

“I thought these would keep you entertained while you’re still at home.” He smiles, his hair falling over his eyes slightly and he shakes it out of his face.

“Thank you.” She hugs him even as her shoulder strains, still a little tense. “These are great.” She grabs one of the books to read later while they walk into the kitchen.

“How are you feeling?” He puts the bag of books down on the table before heading to the kitchen to put on the kettle.

Emily can’t help the smile on her face as he moves around the kitchen, he was comfortable in their space, had spent many nights there while he was having his headaches because she had wanted to keep an eye on him.

“Thank you.” She says as he places the steaming mug on the table, the teabag she knew they were out of magically in her cup and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“Garcia said you were out.” Spencer shrugs sheepishly and stirs his own cup of coffee that she had put on in preparation for him. “I was scared.” He says next, eyes locked on the brown liquid and she doesn’t expect the words to fall so easily from his lips.

“So was I.” She admits and he looks back at her. “I’ve never been more terrified, but then I thought of you, of how proud I am of you, how proud I am to know you. That helped.”

“Really?” He looks down at the table again, a hint of a smile on his face as his cheeks flush.

“Really.”

Rossi brings a bottle of red wine and they spend an evening together not talking much as they watch one of the movies Spencer had brought a few days earlier. The team is away and it would be the first night she’d spend completely alone in the house. In hindsight she shouldn’t have been surprised that Dave was the one knocking on her front door.

“I never got the point of these movies.” He mutters and she chuckles. It’s the third time he’s said that in less than thirty minutes. But she loves old French movies so he pretends to enjoy them for her.

“It’s romantic.” She argues with a smile. “I’m done with drama and action for a while, let me enjoy the romance.” She means it as a joke, but when she looks back at him he’s turned serious. “I’m okay.” The words are out before he gets the chance to ask and he smiles back at her this time.

“I know.” He pats her knee. “But if you think you’re getting away without the Rossi stare, you’re wrong.”

She doesn’t say that she actually loves his stare, that she loves him as a father. But she thinks he knows. They had never needed many words, but as she looked at him she realized she had never gotten around to ask what she wanted before Doyle came back into her life.

“When Aaron and I get married, will you give me away?” She catches the quick moment of surprise before his smile gets wider.

“I’d be honored, Bella.”

JJ had always loved snacks, she shows up with Cheetos and salt and vinegar chips and popcorn, and a bag of groceries.

“I’ve really missed you.” She says as the blonde unpacks the food and she smiles.

“I’ve missed you too. Things have been… crazy.” JJ grabs a bowl to put the popcorn in. She was hiding something, Emily knew, but she didn’t say anything.

“Are you coming back to the team?” She asks instead and when the blonde slowly nods she feels her face break out into a grin that’s hurting her cheeks.

“But as a profiler, it was the only way now that Seaver is gone, they don’t need a liaison apparently.”

“Is that what you want?” She opens the bag of chips and then walks around the counter to grab two pairs of chopsticks much to JJ’s enjoyment.

“I want to come back, I want to be with you guys again.” She says as they make their way towards the backyard to enjoy the last of the fall sun before it got too cold to sit outside.

“We’ve really missed you.” She says again as she sits down carefully and then grabs a popcorn and plops it into her mouth. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Emily. So much.”

She shouldn’t have been surprised that Derek joins her for a morning walk the following week. Time went by too slow, she was going crazy not working. But she had less than a week before she was allowed back at the office, so she had taken to walking twice a day. It helped her clear her head.

“Morning Princess.”

“Should have known you’d show up sooner or later.” She smiles into a hug and doesn’t push him away when he carefully wraps his arm around her shoulder as they keep walking.

“Did you expect me not to?” He’s smiling, but there’s tension there.

“Never.” She bumps her hip against his before putting some space between them. “I figured you’d be forced to come at some point.” She gives him a pointed look and he sighs. He hadn’t been by once since she got home, she hadn’t seen him since the hospital. She knew why, that he had been terrified being the one finding her, and Derek always tried to distance himself when he was having trouble, even from her.

“I-I thought you were dead.” He shakes his head like he’s trying to rid himself of the memories. “When I found you, you were barely breathing, I thought you were dead, that I was too late.”

“Derek-”

“We looked for almost a week but you were gone, not a trace of you. If Penelope hadn’t managed to find that house, you would have been.” Frustration and fear bled into his voice and she looked down at the pavement.

“I know.” She says quietly. “But I needed you safe.”

“And I needed you safe. You’re my partner.” He stops walking and she does too, her eyes finding his.

“I’m sorry.” She takes his hand and he squeezes it once.

“I don’t need an apology, I need to know that you won’t do something like that again.” His dark eyes shine with worry and sadness and she can see everything he doesn’t tell her. He was blaming himself for her being hurt, he and Aaron were similar in that way.

“I promise.” She squeezes his hand again and when his shoulders lower slightly and he relaxes, she pulls him into a hug. His strong arms carefully wrap around her and she smiles into his shoulder. “I promise.”

2012 (4 months later)

Aaron quietly walks through the front door and places his briefcase down on the side table before taking his coat off. It was late, a meeting running long and paperwork that he had to finish taking up most of his night. He expected both Jack and Emily to be asleep so he sneaks up the stairs. As he suspected, Jack was asleep in his room, but a soft light from the bedroom let him know that Emily was still awake.

He knocked once on the door that was ajar to make his presence known.

“Honey?”

“Don’t come in!” He hears her rushed words and he immediately panics.

“Why?” His grip on the doorknob was tight enough for his knuckles to turn white.

“You- you shouldn’t see me in this.” She peeks through the crack of the door, hiding her body behind it.

“What’s going on?” He feels the panic subside as he looks at her, clearly she was alright. When her cheeks started to tint pink and she bit her bottom lip nervously his head tilted slightly to the side. “Emily?”

“I bought a dress, a wedding dress. But I don’t know if I like it.” She watched as he broke out into a grin and she couldn’t help but smile too.

“Well, let me see it.” He placed the palm of his hand against the door. “I know we’re keeping some traditions, but do you really want this one to be one of them?”

She shook her head, she wasn’t much for traditions, she never had been, any traditions they were keeping were because it was important to Aaron.

“Like I said, I don’t know if I like it.” She stepped to the side and let the door swing open. “So you have to be honest.”

When he laid eyes on her, he couldn’t seem to find any words at all, his mouth dropping open slightly. She was always beautiful, the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, but as she stood in a floor length, white dress he couldn’t help but to stare. The dress was lacy, but simple, hugging her body before flowing down to the floor.

“Is this a good or bad silence?” She laughs as he took two long steps to wrap his arms around her to hug her close to him.

“This is a ‘I think we should take Dave up on an actual venue and not go down to city hall’, silence.” He stamps a kiss to her lips with a smile. “You’re so beautiful.” He kisses her again and when she lets out a soft moan his hands tighten around her.

“That’s the reaction I was looking for.” She smirks as his hands start to move over her body.

“Me wanting you out of that dress and into bed right away?” He mumbles against her lips.

“Exactly.”

Sometimes she still woke up from nightmares, her body and mind were still scarred from what he had subjected her to. But as the weeks had turned into months and the months had turned into a new year, they were moving on.

She fell deeper in love with Aaron every day, they had fewer and fewer bad days. The team also needed healing, but they were moving forward together as a family.

When they said ‘I do’ a few weeks later they were surrounded by all the people who loved them and she was smiling into a kiss with the man who made her believe in the good in the world.

They still weren’t completely healed after Doyle, but they were moving forward. Together.

[lloyd283]

Custom dead end episode 3: PHEONIX PARKS EUROPE'S DEAD END NIGHTS

before we begin, this episode is set in fall 2010 in phoenix parks Europe, which we knew had a massive incident and only Pauline knew about it. So, we need two new ch_racters to follow: Audrey and Hugo. In rather frightening mirroring, Audrey is _i, and Hugo is gay like our current two, but still different. To set the storyline, it's fall 2010 and Europe's dead end nights is in it's 20th year, trying to compete with universal and in 2000, when Jack arrived, Pauline had the idea to have herself as the icon and each year had a different Pauline:

2000: n_rmal Pauline

2001: 80s pauline

2002: dr love

2003: barborah's revenge

2004: wild wicked West

2005: Bonapart's golden fears

2006: bridal Pauline

2007: ringmaster Pauline

2008: we don't talk lightly about that year.

2009: Pauline's silver screams

And now 2010. With critics slamming Pauline's ego, this year, she had someone new join. Who? Well, that's a problem a_drey and Hugo are about to find out. Because the only thing left to fear is fear itself...

It's opening night, and a live ceremony has an actor as bonapart open the eleva_or to unleash the horrors of the event, which is just costumed staff and actors. Hugo is playing a scientist experimenting with dr love's methods whilst Audrey's laughing at how he looks to which he 'slays' in it as Audrey has a staff member from the entrance radio her as a mysterious man bearing a lantern arrives, seeking entry. He won't par_ with the lantern, saying he has to carry it over here as an actual demon's at the event. The guard had a break and _e's missing, leading to the belief he's in the park.

The night is perfect so far, with each attraction running smoothly. Pauline leads a pre_s tour of the event, ready to introduce an icon when the dr love show mysteriously has that Pauline actor panic and actually kill the actor on the table off-screen (we hear _t though). Audrey is called to clean it up and Hugo follows before his appeara_ce in the parade. Who's the new icon: it's Harmony.

As each offering at the event begins to horrify more, like incidents and unexplained magic, the gates of the park close, trapping everyone inside as harmony announces the parade is about to begin. He sends a guide to ensure everyone's there, including staff. Somehow Audrey and the lantern bearer are not ushered over, and both bump onto each other, revealing the lantern bearer to be Lloyd who's been tasked with it's protection and is here to capture or eliminate the icon. Audrey goes towards the parade whilst Lloyd sneaks around the attractions, illuminating harmony's magic infestation as well as echoes of something he's trying to forget.

Harmony begins a terrifying parade, with everyone scared of the fears he conjures such as a cavern of bee hives that spill bees as well as building tall spiders that interact too much with everyone as they take victims from the crowd and Harmony draws more power, leading to a mass trance like fear state with Hugo and Audrey running away whilst Lloyd yells harmony's name loud and taunts him, setting down the lantern as Harmony brings Lloyd's fears to life...

Hugo tells Audrey his fear is being alone and helpless. Audrey says it's her protective nature failing her. Suddenly, the guide makes them split up.

Pauline sees Lloyd in the fear state but calm outside. Inside, Harmony pokes around, starting with something small like a splattered pie on a shirt that has red filling that dyes it. Then, he finds out about the 2018 incident. It does begin to chill him as he hallucinates the incident and Harmony describes it to us:

"A girl you loved lying unresponsive on the floor. No outward injury but mess stains from a glance. Seems like an internal brain injury that killed her. Oh, your torment delights me..."

Hugo is cornered and Audrey tries to save him but fails, revealing both of them entranced. Really, only Pauline isn't due to possession rules. Now, Harmony sees Norma khan but she's helpless to harassment and bullying and a messy humiliation crying for help from Lloyd and Badyah, before meeting badyah for that matter...

But rather, Harmony focuses on a very fresh memory of his.

"I see a packed car on fire. Hey, is someone in there and you're helpless? You and that girl are a buffet. The great Lloyd with a burden beyond human nature. _racked like a China cup, but so firm on cleaning up other people's really bad mistakes. The word in-between mean anything to you?"

As the lantern flickers, Audrey confirms hugo's gone. The fears are killing people if they fail or get caught, so she runs. The lantern temporarily goes out before it reignites suddenly as Lloyd grabs harmony's neck and Audrey is close to joining Hugo unt_l being physically pulled into the indigo as Lloyd fully stands and spouts nemesis tenti, yeeting Harmony to the ground and beginning a no win situation as he can stop Harmony, but everyone will be dead, or as he attempts to do is trap him, but because that fails, he has to resort to the former. He takes harmony's power and traps it in a skull, to make him unable to be this powerful again. Harmony has to retreat from a slowly quieting park, and Lloyd picks up the lantern and shrouds his face before calling someone, agreeing to a therapist. He walks out of the park before the authorities arrive. They see a _eserted theme park with many fears and unresponsive people, including Hugo. As for Audrey, the indigo wiped her mind and put her in a n_w body.

We rejoin current times as people are reading the only documented proof of the incide_t. One of them believes it's an urban legend like Mary, with another member saying that they're real. And that member is right as the other one is _aking a break, they're pulled into a dark room and we hear screams as if harmony's trying to come back, one last time...

[it-happened-one-fic]

Hours in the Moonlight: Persevering Afterlight - 7. Were-vampires

Summary: You hardly knew what to expect from Ruggie, but if Jack said he was the best person to go to, then so be it. If you were lucky, he would be both helpful and nice. But beggars can’t be choosers, and either way you weren’t about to turn down information.

Series Type: Gender-neutral reader/ Vampire AU/ romantic/ angst/ angst with comfort/ fluff/ sfw/ platonic interactions too!

Trigger Warning: Vampire

Word Count: 1558

Hours in the Moonlight Master-List

Jack had led me all the way through the Savanaclaw Clan headquarters and then out onto the dimmed streets. And by that time, I was perfectly confused. Because I’d honestly thought that, wherever Ruggie was, it would be in the clan itself. 

At the very least, I’d thought that he was pseudo-important to the running of the clan. But it was always possible that I was horribly wrong. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

I frowned as I glanced around, noting how cracked and dirty the current sidewalk we were walking on seemed. It was like it hadn’t seen any upkeep at all and was a twisted ankle waiting to happen.

One thing was certain. It definitely wasn’t hard to figure out that we were in the more impoverished part of town, and I almost felt guilty as I slipped over closer to Jack, causing the tall young man to glance my way slightly, though he stayed silent. But it would definitely be lying to say I wasn’t at least a little bit uncomfortable.

This was where the most crime occurred in town, and though I understood why that was, it didn’t make me feel any more comfortable. Especially considering how late an hour it was.

But what confused me even in the midst of my discomfort was why Ruggie would be out here of all places. 

“Jack-” I started speaking only to get hushed by the notably canine vampire as he slipped into a nearby alleway. Gesturing for me to follow quietly before pointing towards what appeared to be a veritable horde of children.

I could hear their soft giggles from here, and, a smile slipped onto my face at the sound despite our environment. I found myself scanning the group curiously before I blinked in surprise as my eyes landed on the young man we’d come here to find.

Ruggie knelt among the children, a wide smile on his face as he handed out something that, upon closer inspection, looked suspiciously like bread.

“Is he….?” I trailed off as I looked towards Jack, who nodded with a solemn expression.

“Ruggie works evening shifts and saves the money he gets to buy food for the kids here. He’s seldom around at the clan, but when you need him, you can either find him here or at the store one,” Jack’s voice was pitched lower and soft as he solemnly explained, turning his gaze back towards the scene before as he spoke.

I mirrored his actions, looking back towards where Ruggie knelt. Playing with the children and laughing with them before, at long last, sending them on their way with affectionate head pats and playfully stern orders of them to behave.

And then he turned, his gaze immediately zeroing in on where me and Jack stood in the shadows with a sigh, “You might as well come out now. I don’t know what you were thinking, though, Jack. Bringing our honored guest all the way out here.”

Despite his exasperated tone, something told me that his words weren’t meant to be biting even as we awkwardly, and perhaps somewhat guiltily, slipped out of our hiding place.

“They said they needed to learn more about what happens during ‘the change.’ I knew I couldn’t tell them anything, so I recommended we find you,” Jack was unhesitating as ever as he explained his reasoning while walking over towards where Ruggie stood. Leaving me to trail after him half-awkwardly.

Ruggie, for his part, merely stood with his thin, but toned arms crossed as his gaze flickered between the two of us before it at last came to rest, almost suspiciously, on me, “You don’t already know?”

“I… No,” After a brief moment of hesitation, I answered truthfully, doing my best not to falter too much as I came at least pseudo clean about the whole mess that was my status as the resident vampire hunter.

“I haven’t been in this position very long, and though I know how to do the general work, I don’t know as much about the specifics of vampirism, like ‘the change.’” I met his gaze as my fingers tangled themselves together. But I knew my explanation didn’t sound good even as I silently prayed that he’d just accept it and carry on.

Ruggie stared at me silently before shrugging, seemingly unbothered by my confession despite the way silence had stretched uncomfortably between us, “Okay, but the entire ordeal that is known as ‘the change’ works differently for everyone.”

He started off down the street, strolling back towards the Savanaclaw Clan headquarters and leaving us to follow him. And, after a shared glance, me and Jack started walking after him, listening closely as he began to explain.

“A lot of it depends on the individual themselves and the vampire changing them. Like, if the vampire tried to kill somebody and failed, resulting in a new vampire, that new vampire is probably going to have a harder time of it,” He looked at me pointedly, and I nodded, half understanding what he meant.

If something that traumatic happened and turned me into the very creature who’d tried to kill me, losing my mind would seem like a very real possibility.

He continued as I silently considered his words, “Also, for those who were already affected by wereism, the change is particularly hard since the two diseases don’t mix well.”

I frowned, shaking my head slightly in confusion before I glanced his way, “Why not? They both deal with being more nocturnally active.”

Jack nodded at my words, looking at me from my other side, “Yeah, but nights with a full moon are rough.”

“It’s kind of like the two diseases fight for dominance, and your survival hinges on that fight,” Ruggie explained in a perfectly bored tone as I glanced with horror between the two young men.

“You mean that when someone who is already a were-creature gets bitten by a vampire and changed, they might die simply because the diseases are fighting for dominance?!” I didn’t even bother to disguise my shock. But, at odds with my alarm, Ruggie nodded, and Jack just shrugged.

“I had heard that, but I wasn't sure…” Jack at last offered, almost apologetically as their words sunk in.

“Coincidentally, the full moon is also when we’re most likely to lose vampires in the clan to insanity,” At his words, my gaze snappied back towards where Ruggie walked. His arms now crossed behind his head. Utterly relaxed despite our topic of conversation that even Jack seemed to feel slightly uncomfortable with.

But then, depending on how old of a vampire Ruggie was, perhaps all of this was just old hat to him. A simple fact of his undead life.

After wavering slightly, I found my voice again. Pushing forward to learn more even if this topic had taken a distinctly dark turn far faster than I’d expected, “So, is there a specific type of were-being, like a were-weasel or something, that is more likely to go insane if turned into a vampire or is just random?”

Jack stared at me, quietly echoing, “were-weasel’ and shaking his head while Ruggie’s eyes slid my way, his expression taking on a certain confused tinge as a smile tried to fight his way to face. Like he couldn’t believe that I knew so little about all of this but was also amused by my questioning. 

He answered nonetheless, though, shaking his head as he spoke, “Nah, it’s pretty much random. I’ve always figured that, the more traumatic their death, the more likely they are to go insane in the first month or by their first full moon, in the case of were-vampires.”

I nodded, swallowing thickly before glancing between the two of them, “So… Were-vampires? Is that what you guys prefer to go by?”

My words brought a smile fully to Ruggie’s face, as he no longer tried to disguise his amusement, “We mostly just go by the clan name. After all, Savanaclaw is the clan with the most of our kind majority of us, and majority were-vampires end up here.”

I blinked, slightly surprised by his words but nodding as he turned to look towards the doors of their headquarters, a snicker slipping out of him as he nodded towards the building in an oddly amused manner, “But it looks like there’s someone else here who you can ask about stuff now.”

I frowned slightly as he continued to grin, but turned to see Leona propped up in the open doorway of the building. Calling out in a dry voice as soon as I looked his way, “Oi, one of your bosses is here.”

His tone was beyond displeased, and I fought the urge to grimace at his words. At the very least I could agree with him on not being happy about what was no doubt one of Crowley’s lackeys wanting a report already.

It would have been too much to hope that they’d just leave me alone until I got done.

“Go get ‘em tiger,” Ruggie bumped me playfully with his shoulder, causing me to frown at him slightly as he slipped by me. A grin on his face as he snickered once more before disappearing into the building.

But at least he wasn’t as bad or unwilling to help as I’d feared.

If you would like to read more:

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[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

How did our meeting with them go?

Like our first time interacting with these funnybone boys

~♥️ anon

Well

Barry's the one who sells you your little fixer-uper of a cabin next to the spooky mansion on the hill. He kept saying shit like "Yeah, ever since the last tenants murdered the guy in that mansion and fled no one's wanted to buy it" He gives you a discount seeing how it's tied to a crime and needs quite a bit of elbow grease but you're sure you can make it a home

Joseph came as part of the deal with the house. No you don't get to keep him, unfortunately, but he helps you fix the place up and even offers you his couch if you ever need it. He doesn't talk, keeping a little not pad on him since he hasn't fully grasped sign yet. He's learned how to spell and write pretty fast from working in the post office

You meet Nick and Rory while getting some groceries, sure you could get bread from Barry's general store but the bakery smells so good you just have to see what they've got. Rory's a bit cold and grumpy when you first meet him but he's all smiles when talking to Nick, maybe he just needs to know you first? And Nick is very polite, walking you through the options of what they sell and totally not blushing when your fingers brush as he hands you your bread

You also meet Jack in the bakery. He offers to show you around town when you have a spare minute, it's not very big so it won't take too long. Once you take him up on the offer he's very helpful, pointing the few shops in town, telling you what you'll have to travel to get, and where everyone lives. The whole town is basically one big neighborhood so he doesn't really see it as odd. He also points out his and Rory's house, telling you you're welcome any time

While you're on your tour you run into Bo, literally. He's going so fast neither of you have time to react. When you shake off the panic you both realize you're lying on top of him and his tail starts to wag. Jack helps you up and Bo apologizes for bumping into you, but also treats you like you two are now best friends calling you his "bump buddy" and asking if you want to play any games with him

After such a long day you'd think you'd be able to sleep but alas,. Sleeping in a new bed is always hard but sleeping in a new house is just not happening tonight. You decide to sit on the porch to try and star gaze yourself into a coma when you see Ian. He has to walk past your cabin to get to the mansion and takes the time to introduce himself. Once he learns your plight he offers to take you with him, saying that the owners of the mansion don't sleep during the night either

Elias and Shaun are beaming at seeing a new face and Moonpie takes to you just as quick. The others in town know of them but with conflicting schedules they don't get too many visitors. Elias rushes off to the kitchen to make you some tea while Shaun takes you to their library to sit and talk. He says that they spend more time in here than in the actual sitting room. After Elias comes back with the tea Ian starts reading and acting out one of the books from the shelf

You're not sure when you fell asleep but you do know that you wake up in a very soft bed in a room that looks like it would fit right in with the rest of the mansion you fell asleep in. Elias comes in to check on you and tells you he couldn't just leave you on the couch! After leaving you only have a moment in your own home before there's a knock on the door. Jean introduces himself with a plate of cookies he clearly got from the bakery and a little bow. He's very princely about the whole thing, saying you shouldn't have to live in such filth while you fix the place up and offers to let you stay with him. He has a full guest room all made up for you if you'd ever like it

Once Joseph swings by to help with the house he also gives you your first letter! It's from a guy named Taylor, apperntly he lives in town and wants to try putting himself out there a bit. Not out there enough to come out of his house but it's a start. You two become the closest pen pals in history as you write back and forth nearly everyday. When you actually meet him he's got some big wet cat energy but he manages to hold conversation well enough

[trickscourse]

I dont understand how you and Calloutrebuttal unironically call ppl transphobic for not using slur pronouns for you. I get you're saying they shouldn't talk about you but like... cmon now be real. And referring to a blog as an it isn't misgendering the mods. 'look at this blog. It posted x' that isnt misgendering like callout blog claims. You have so many other points to make but you can't 'both sides are wrong' about this thing here bc the callout blog is deadnaming, misgendering and just generally being a creep a lot more. You've said you're getting better at taking accountability but I don't think you are. You don't need half a dozen defence blogs. No one does. Accept you hurt people, firmly tell these blogs to stop and move on . As long as they exist, you won't be able to.

Apart or me really wants to put "sorry for reading all that or good for you meme but that's not taking accountability. Most of my life lessons and interactions don't need to be broadcast online, if they were my growth would be artificial.

First thing; I have hurt people, I never said I didn't. I never said I was innocent and the actions I actually did in the past aren't things that should be glossed over or forgotten. I have a disclaimer on most of my socials and offer people who feel victimized to come to me so I don't break anymore boundaries.

I never said the nig/ger pronouns were serious, it started off as a joke where I said something on here along the lines of "if you're going to assume a black transfem is sexually or physically violence and lie about me to begin with, just call me a fucking slur or leave me alone and remove me from your mind or vocabulary." at this point I am so desperate that if Sunny can't go full mask off antiblack and call me a slur, its proof that she literally cannot let me go and stop lying to save her life.

The pronouns people stalking me can use are nig/ger or to literally never mention me again. That shouldn't be hard to shut the fuck up about someone who's been begging to be left alone for years now.

When it comes to my smear campaign and others, there are two sides and they're both wrong. Sunny has deadnamed me intentionally, my anons have done the same with her. @seouls-sins has posted my previous legal name on here I /just/ got changed to get away from this. There is no lesser of two evils, and when I say 'hold both sides accountable' that means both sides being ableist and transphobic.

At the end of the day, there aren't a hundred defense blogs that I or my friends run. There's maybe three that are associated with rebuttal. Any number after 4 isn't associated with the original group and is most likely Jack or one of their cronies.

I haven't spoken to the rebuttal/defense mods in a few hours because I'm stuck in a flare up that prevented me from seeing my friends and bordering on needing to go to the ER.

[laurarolla]

So I finished my playthrough of Bioshock. Not sure if I want to just upload the straight footage with a description of the restrictions I gave myself and then maybe get around to actually making a proper video later, considering I haven't even started on the Steven Universe Save the Light video yet, but I'll think about it later. Right now, some thoughts I had while replaying this game that is getting dangerously close to 20 years old now oh crap.

World building and story is still solid, although I do vibe with Bioshock 2 a lot more. However, I came to a realization about the endgame areas of Bioshock today. Most basic conversation about the game revolves around the Andrew Ryan scene, but I noticed this time that the aftermath of that scene is really there to support its theme about how much agency we really have in life and especially in games.

Fontaine spends much of the endgame asking you why you are even bothering to continue coming after him, and it seems like this isn't really questioning Jack so much as the player. At the same time, he recaps elements of the narrative that would serve as possible justification for the emotions the player may be feeling in their drive to the final confrontation. He talks about manufacturing memories, lying about a family in danger, constantly references Tenenbaum's history as a Nazi collaborator that the game casts in sharp contrast with her attempt to become a better person and find some kind of redemption. He says you've been betrayed once, why wouldn't it happen again. In essence, he all but tells you to turn the game off and go do something else, anything else, so he can have his victory.

Sometimes the most powerful choice someone can make isn't necessarily the action they take, but the reason behind it. Most players continue to play the game, but why? If the Andrew Ryan reveal is the big high point of everything Bioshock 1 was leading to, why keep going when it's over? For some, it's inertia: They've come this far, why not see it through. For others, it's anger, or a sense of obligation, or curiousity. For some, they've even grown to care about the little sisters and/or Tenenbaum and her desire to be better than the monster she once was. The most important thing to do is to ask yourself why.

Also, to veer away from this more potentially meaningful discussion on how people emotionally connect to art, I also want to point out that the game gets surprisingly stingy with resources in the late game if you aren't using the vending machines. It's neat to have played through the game with so many restrictions on myself because it gave me a chance to see how the systems all interact by removing some of them. That's one of the most fascinating things that the challenge run trend in gaming allows a player to experience and wrap their head around.