#&&. 'I didn't think I had it in me.' || bram interacts.

[kyouka-supremacy]

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[yaoienjoyerwife]

" past lives " bram stoker x fem!reader

this is my first Tumblr post thing so I hope it isn't too bad! lol, just me coping with the fact Bram pookie is done. Might be OOC. - 1,070 words.

"Aya, you're telling me this guy that you want me to meet is a... Vampire?" you stared at your niece, obviously in disbelief. There was no way your 10-year-old niece just causally knew a vampire.

"I promise! I would not lie." She would say as she led you to a restaurant where she'd told Bram to wait, she wanted her favorite aunt to meet her favorite vampire, of course!

As you approached, you immediately knew who she was talking about without her even having to say anything.

Tall, skin paler than his long silver hair, piercing crimson eyes, no doubt a vampire, now you were starting to think your brother needs to keep better watch of his child, however, your brother was always a piece of shit so you ended up being her guardian most days, which made you think you need to keep better track of her...

The two of you made eye contact and instantly a memory came back to Bram, one of his wife who is long gone. You must be her reincarnation, there is no other explanation.

He approaches the two of you first and like a gentleman takes your hand in his and kisses your hand. "My dear, it has been centuries, and yet I have finally found you."

To say you were confused would be the understatement of the year, you looked at Aya and she just gave you the same bewildered expression. "Bra-Chan, that's my aunt and she's not old as you." That's one way to put it.

"But Aya, I see it now, she is the reincarnation of my beloved."

Despite this strange interaction, the three of you continued inside, and ate, well you and Aya did, Bram just wanted to make conversation with you the entire time, he was more talkative than you'd expect for a vampire.

You were of course polite, answering all his questions and telling him about yourself, you'd even sprinkle in a few questions of your own, and he'd answer without leaving a single detail.

So of course after that he was always asking Aya to see you, and who was Aya to deny him? After all, she'd noticed ever since you broke up with your last boyfriend you were extremely lonely and hardly went outside unless you needed to, didn't make many new connections, and you mainly focused on work.

Obviously, it was going to make Bram happy and she hoped it made you happy too.

So she began having the two of you hang out, she'd tell Bram to buy you gifts and you always loved them. Bram noticed his wife and you even had similar interests.

As you came out of your shell more you would tell him about your interests in classic literature, since it's something you could both relate to, his wife used to love reading, and you'd tell him about your love of the ocean, which his wife was also fond of.

Despite still thinking of you to be her reincarnation as time went on, he began to fall in love with you instead of the idea of you being someone he once loved.

You also began to develop feelings for him, though you convinced yourself all the doting and affection and gifts he was giving you had just began he thought you were someone. At first, it was technically for his love of someone else, but at some point, he stopped thinking about what his wife would have liked and began thinking about what you would like when buying gifts.

However, you were not convinced despite what Aya would say.

"y/n he literally won't shut up about you!"

"That's because he thinks I'm his wife, Aya."

When I say you were deep in depression about this, I am saying you'd sit in your room listening to Mitski and sobbing.

"Baby though I close my eyes, I know who you pretend I am."

And it wasn't made better by the fact Bram was was shaking in his boots at just the thought of confessing his feelings to you. "Please just tell her." Aya would plead with him every time he started talking about you. "Romance isn't so simple, it must be special."

Special my ass, Aya was on WikiHow trying to figure out how to set the two of you up.

So one day the three of you are together in your apartment and Aya swears she has to go to the bathroom when really she is sneaking into your bedroom to find any damning evidence, unfortunately for her, she couldn't find anything until she looked on your desk.

It's your own fault for leaving your sketchbook out, what was her damning evidence you may ask?

Many drawings of Bram, like way too many to be normal.

She wasn't even going to comment on how many times she saw shirtless drawings of him.

She ran back in just as you were about to go and check on her and made an announcement.

"You two are so hopeless that I'm taking matters into my own hands!" And then she held up your sketchbook and in the moment you were sure that with the amount of blood that drained from your face, you must have been paler than Bram.

She showed off the pages and pages filled with Bram, which of course had too many heart doodles to be written off as 'Oh you're just so pretty! I hope you don't mind I drew you.'

You were silent, basically cursing yourself for doing that.

"y/n." you were ready to be told he didn't feel that way for you, but Bram lifted your chin and made him look at you, "while I am displeased with Aya at the moment, I am still happy you feel this way. Over these past few months, I have begun to fall for you, too."

To say you almost died on the spot would not be an exaggeration, you were sure if your face heated up anymore from your blush it would explode.

"While I did believe you were a reincarnation, I know I must respect your own identity as the person you are now, even if you were someone in a past life, I love you for you in this life."

And so from that day forward, you two were together, and of course that night Aya was still in trouble for going through your stuff.

[artemis099]

Spoilers for the latest BSD Manga chapters and season 5 of the show.

TLDR all they had to do was bite Fyodor.

Bungou Stray Dogs continues to rot my brain. In the latest news I have been wondering about two characters abilities in regards to Fyodor's ability and whether the abilities would cancel/combat/ cause a singularity if they interacted

Firstly my question is would Shibusawa's ability counteract Fyodor's. Because theoretically Shibusawa strips a person of their ability by causing the person's own ability to kill them. So then would being killed by his own ability count as dying by his own hands or would it count as dying by another person's hands like it did with Bram. But also, if he's stripped of his ability in the first place could Crime and Punishment even trigger? Ergo, I think it would be most likely to cause a singularity to occur. Not exactly sure what that would entail but, it seems like the most likely case in my opinion.

The more important thought that I've found myself stumbling onto is whether everything that has happened as of late could've been avoided if they just turned Fyodor into a vampire instead of killing him. This thought occurred to me like ten minutes ago and made me absolutely feral because I think it's an entirely valid plan that would've worked so hear me out. I don't think people die when they get turned into vampires. Because going off of the show I believe it was implied at one time that Dazai interacting with a vampire would've just nullified the ability and returned them to normal, but I can't remember if I came to that conclusion just based on his ability or if that was actually stated. More importantly it was implied that that is what would happen during the interaction where Fyodor refused to let Chuuya get close to Dazai and instead insisted Chuuya "take him out from afar". He didn't want Dazai freeing Chuuya from the ability ( mind you I'm working off the idea that for all of Fyodor's planning he was not aware that Chuuya was not a vampire to begin with). So then, if being turned doesn't kill you then everything could've been solved in the helicopter. All they had to do was have the vampire bite Fyodor instead of fly him into a building. It literally could've been that simple.

So yeah... I've just been losing my mind for the last little bit coming to that conclusion and turning the Shibusawa ability vs Fyodor ability over for around a week. You know, the usual.

[corvidcrybaby]

This may be a bit of an odd question but I’m really curious about your thoughts and opinions since they’re so damn lyrical and articulate.

How do you think pre-Hellsing Alucard (Aka Dracula) differs from current and canon Alucard?

I’ve hear some ideas that while Alucard is nihilistic, Dracula was melancholic. Alucard has fully accepted that he will forever be a monster, while Dracula kept some sort of hope that he won’t always be.

I also heard some theories, that I personally believe, that in the Hellsing universe, certain aspects of Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’ were fabricated and or certain details never made it into the novel. This also plays into the knowledge that Hirano took inspiration from Coppola’s ‘Bram Stoker’s Dracula’ for Hellsing, so maybe certain aspects of Dracula were purposely erased by Abraham Van Helsing when he told his story to Stoker.

I’m just curious about what you think?

First off, G-d damn thank you for the compliment??? If you could've heard me squee at being called LYRICAL omg what a high compliment to be given, oh my goodness.

Aight, but for real though, digging into this - I agree with some of your assessment. I've always subscribed into the idea that the Stoker novel is a fictional, apocryphal account of what are real-world events in the Hellsing setting. I play around with this idea with The Dybbuk by S. Ansky during a few chapters of Lesions Of A Different Kind, because that concept is really appealing and engaging to me.

I think Dracula was absolutely a reactionary-protective persona that Vlad the Impaler adopted after the grand trauma of his defeat at the hands of the Ottoman Empire. After so long and twisted and carnal a life, for it to all end in failure after everything Vlad suffered? I think it broke him. Count Dracula, to me, is defensive to the point of cruelty, indignant to the max, entitled and arrogant, and obsessed with power for the sake of its ability to get him what he wants and to further protect himself, isolate himself from the world, and ensure that he reigns supreme above all others.

And then along comes a gang of regular-ass humans who wipe the floor with him after a relatively short engagement.

I think just as before, this broke him - except this time, it was the Dracula persona who broke. All that spitting bile and aggressive, bullheaded disposition with delusions of godliness and grandeur, and all it did was get him defeated again, and be left with even less than he had before. As Vlad, he had his humanity. As Dracula, he still had his kingdom and freedom. As Alucard, all he has now are his relationships and the entertainment interacting with the world around him brings.

Alucard had to learn the same lesson twice before he meaningfully changed. In a fucked-up sense, I think Alucard is actually probably the healthiest of these three personas. Not saying much, because he isn't really someone the average person could ever handle in their life - for good reason - but I do think Alucard as a persona is a healing stage in the long life(s) of who he was and will continue to be. We see him openly jeer at and deride his past self, so blinded by the self-righteous rage he felt at the world - much of which was understandable, rooting from his childhood assault, but it didn't excuse the excess brutality he doled out onto innocent people (even if the real-world Vlad the Impaler really wasn't that much more bloodthirsty than the average Medieval warlord, people were fucking NASTY-nasty to each other back then).

To parrot another content creator, Alucard is a 'resigned monster.' He's accepted what he is and what his nature may always be, and understands that his humanity is gone and isn't coming back. But that doesn't mean he doesn't still wish things could've been different. Acceptance and regret can and should coexist.

[fyodcrs]

KATIE!!! I'm sorry I'm late ajdlslfkdkf but I had to drop in and ask, HOW ARE YOU DOING AFTER FYODOR'S EPIC REVEAL?? CAN YOU BELIEVE HE GOT A COMEBACK IN THE MOST GLORIOUS WAY POSSIBLE?? From theorizing it to finally having it in the actual manga, it's been a long time journey hasn't it?! :'D

I went back to read our old posts and you were really close in some of the parts like his ability being to "punish" someone "he" thought committed a "sin" (basically killing him lol). Please let me hear all your thoughts!! I'm also so happy for you!! I'm really glad they didn't finish off his character with the awful mersault death plot 😭😭

@kunikiiida-kuuun KRIS THIS WAS LITERALLY ME READING THE CHAPTER:

I MEAN WHAT A FUCKING ENTRANCE:

I've been thinking about all my old theories, and maaaan, I would have never imagined something quite like this. It's true that we were right about Fyodor's Ability "punishing" someone who has committed a "crime," though I wouldn't have thought that "crime" or "sin" was literally killing Fyodor himself, lol. And I WAS right that he is immortal (kind of?)!! Or at least that he's been around for hundreds of years!! I also seem to be right that he doesn't age, though I guess we'll have to wait and see if it's explained why his appearance hasn't changed in centuries.

It still hasn't been explained how he's able to kill with a touch, however. This hasn't been explained:

There are definitely more secrets to be uncovered when it comes to Fyodor, so it remains to be seen if there's more to his Ability or if this will end up being an inconsistency.

I think the true nature of Fyodor's Ability is really interesting in terms of Dostoevsky's novels, too. "Possession" (though not in the literal sense) is a motif that occurs in a couple of his novels, most notably Demons, but also, to an extent, The Brothers Karamazov and Crime and Punishment. In Demons the "possession" is specifically "demonic possession" in the biblical sense, though again, it isn't literally in the biblical sense, just the overarching symbolism. I actually started to write a meta about this several chapters back, so maybe I'll finish it, haha.

I definitely did not imagine that Fyodor would take over Bram. Poor Bram :( But damn does he look good in Bram's clothes and wielding the holy sword and Fukuchi's time bullshit sword 🥵

Also poor Genichirou :(

This doesn't really fix the issues with the Meursault arc, but if Fyodor really sent himself to prison in order to trick Dazai into sending himself to prison, too, that does actually explain the bizarre decision to get himself arrested in the first place, which was one of my biggest gripes. There are still plenty of other problems, but whatever, I guess sdfghjhfghjk.

I was becoming less invested in the series since the Infamous Helicopter Crash and the Dazai Friendship Speech of Doom, but I'm finally excited again!!! I'm really curious to see where this is gonna go. I know Fyodor is going to be defeated somehow, but I hope he causes all sorts of chaos first, he deserves to ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚ ♡♡

Also Fyodor and Ranpo interaction maybe??? It better happen or I'm gonna be like (╮°-°)╮┳━━┳ ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

asdfgdfgh Kris, I can't believe we've gotten this far, it's been years and we're finally getting answers. I'm so happy omggg. But I swear BSD just keeps getting wilder and wilder lmao

*hugs* 🤗🤗💖💖

[chuuyanakaahara]

you cant imagine how exited i am for retribution to end up at around 240k words, THE racing au to me, are there any headcanons/ideas for it that you have that ultimately wont fit into the story? i honestly love hearing you talk abt this series

good thing because i really love talking about it !! i typically don't tho unless it's like. prompted. bc there's just so much that i don't know what to talk about lmao.

but there are plenty of headcanons/ideas that ultimately are not gonna make the cut !

the most blatant - the addition of the hunting dogs as an actual entity, and tachihara being an undercover agent. i toyed with it for a long while, and i think he did a stint at the police academy, but ultimately it didn't fit for this storyline and i don't want it to. instead, he's a full time mechanic at the black lizard works, with no double life. tecchou is ex-military, and jouno is a former racer who retired due to medical reasons unrelated to racing.

i won't say it all got dumbed down, but a lot of atsushi's snark had to get taken out because it wouldn't make sense when he's still learning about his craft; it'd be like me walking into an astrophysics meeting and then bitching about how they talk about something i have not a faintest idea about.

the doa! the doa make disjointed cameos, i'd say, and i haven't quite found the place for fyodor yet, but wherever it is, i don't think it's with a home in the portside. perhaps in the framework of the circuit's imports and exports, but i don't know. sigma turns the betting stand, as you know (and they are trying their best!), nikolai shows up to the portside every once in a while, and fukichi is... i don't know where; same with bram.

fukuzawa and mori's past! it's going to get its bit and pieces, esp in the crash course of parenting, since they have to interact, but as of right now it's not something that you, as an audience, get to be super privy to.

partyboy tanizaki wasn't actually supposed to be canon in retribution but then he was in eyeliner and glitter and acting Like That. so. he decided it was going to be canon.

akutagawa's dog! i think he has a dog named rashoumon at home (in the penthouse he has from the dirty racing money) which is like the ultimate fuck-you to the cops always on his tail, because he has a fucking dog named after his alias, but they have no definitive proof it's him. i'd love to make said dog canon, but realistically, with it being a penthouse and gin + aku always being busy, they wouldn't have the time for a dog.

initially, gin was not supposed to be important in the series, i guess? like, she was there, but not really a moving part of it. the fact that she is an important part of the story and one of the two racers that use motorcycles on touge tracks came as a call-back and reference to my all-time favorite fic ever called "darkness, chase the day" by @soysaurus, which was a tachigin racing fic that i still think abt all of the time. not only did it help inspire retribution, but it's the reason gin has such a prominent role in retribution.

speaking of gin, things that got scrapped from the story: the origin behind gin's alias! the alias i gave her is "burnstrike", which is a call-back to a different fandom i was in (much like atsushi's jacket is a call-back to a different fandom as well). the in-universe origins behind the name "burnstrike" are unclear, though i will tell you it does have to do with targeted arson on gin's end.

[totallynotreadingatwork]

More Mini Book Reviews

Truly, Darkly, Deeply by Victoria Selman - Not my usual thing, but I picked it up and read it anyway because why not and it was alright! I thought the ending was a bit naff, but the rest of it explored some pretty interesting ideas. It was about a girl whose mum was dating a serial killer (obviously they didn't know at the time) and how his arrest really impacted them.

Temeraire or His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik, book 1 of the Temeraire series - Not me out here almost crying at the connection between man and beast. Seriously I really loved this one, it's like Httyd but for adults, and I'm absolutely living for it. Also I really like books about ships - something about the idea of a crew really appeals to me I think - and this really hit that spot for me. Also, the dragons are cool.

Scarlet by Genevieve Cogman, book 1 of the Scarlet Revolution Series - Basically just some good fun! It's not a vampire romance as many will be pleased to know, and the vampires do actually pose a threat, which is nice. It's set in an alternate-universe French revolution, and explores such ideas as 'hmm, maybe the beheadings were a bit too far but would it really be so bad to take down all the rich people?'. Idk, I enjoyed it.

The Witch's Warning by Joseph Delaney, book 2 (the final book) of the Aberrations series - Very good indeed, Delaney is brilliant at making dark spooky worlds full of horrors and monsters. Just really is a shame he died before he could finish the series as the only thing that lets this book down is that it spends a fair bit of time building up to a sequel that never gets to happen.

The Family Remains by Lisa Jewel, the sequel to The Family Upstairs - Really, really good follow-up book to the first one, using everything you learned about the characters there to build tension in this one. Lots of different things happening, multiple POVs, interconnecting storylines, and wrapping up some loose plot points from the last book. I recommend this pair a lot to people in the library and most seem to like it!

Spook's: Alice by Joseph Delaney, book 12 of the Wardstone Chronicles - God I love this character. As with all of this series, you can definitely tell they're books written for children, but that doesn't mean they're bad, nor do they shy away from some pretty gruesome stuff. We're winding up now for the final book as this is the second to last and things are looking exciting. I can't say too much about this one without spoiling it unfortunately but just know that it's as solid as the rest of the series.

The Outlaws Scarlett and Browne by Jonathan Stroud, book 1 of the Scarlett and Browne series - I actually read this before a couple of years ago and decided to read it again before I read the sequel because I'd forgotten what happened. It's a really good book; Stroud really know what he's doing. If you liked Lockwood & Co. for the character interactions then you'll love this. The worldbuilding is on point, the characters feel full-dimensional, and the hijinks is everpresent. Just a really fun read.

Dracula by Bram Stoker - I went to Whitby on holiday for a few days so naturally took this with me. I don't read very many classics at all so it took a little while for me to tune into the language and get used to everyone taking two pages to say what could have been said in two sentences, but once I did I had a grand old time with it. I wouldn't say it's anywhere near scary by today's standards, but it was interesting to see where a lot of modern tropes got their origins. Also, I've read Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu before and it was cool to be able to mentally compare and contrast them and see where Bram Stoker was inspired by different things.

The Notorious Scarlett and Browne by Jonathan Stroud, book 2 of the Scarlett and Browne series - Just as good as the first if not better. Where the first book focused more on Albert and where he'd come from and his backstory, in this one we explore more of Scarlett's history and how she came to be the person she is today. Fast-paced, witty, and packed with actions, I really enjoyed it and strongly recommend it!

The Mystery of Three Quarters by Sophie Hannah - Read this one for my book club and it was... alright. Nothing special, but not bad enough to not finish. I didn't manage to solve the mystery unfortunately but that's no surprise, though I will say that it did feel pretty convoluted. Not too sure why the character of Hercule Poirot was used other than to cash in on the name of course, and Sophie Hannah is definitely no Agatha Christie, but, like I said, it was okay.

Girls With Razor Hearts by Suzanne Young, book 2 of the Girls With Sharp Sticks series - Sometimes, you just want to read a book about sisterhood and taking down the patriarchy. From some of the fics I've seen around, people who really enjoyed those parts of the Barbie movie might enjoy these books. They're by no means subtle in their messaging, but sometimes I like a book that just lays everything out on the table in front of you because it's borderline impossible to misinterpret them. Definitely feels like a teen-fic book, but that's okay because it is one.

The Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan, book 2 of the Heroes of Olympus series - Do I really need to say anything about this one? We all know Riordan is brilliant.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield - Oh boy this one was A Lot TM. Kind of an eldritch horror story in Leah's bits, and then a story about mourning someone who's not really gone and learning to let go in Miri's chapters. Very much a 'came back wrong' sort of scenario, but less scary and more just deeply sad. I had to take a break and go look at trees for a while after I finished it. The ending was low-key heartbreaking.

Revival by Stephen King - Sort of promised myself I wouldn't read any more of his books but here I am. This one was actually pretty good for the most part though! Not very horror-y, I didn't think, but still a good story. The only bit I didn't like was when the 52 year old protagonist is sleeping with the 24 year old daughter of his co-worker, but I honestly should have expected that because this is a Stephen King book.

[tuiyla]

Do you think that Santana didn't let Brittany say goodbye to her in 4x22 because she knew it wasn't really goodbye for them?

That's how I always choose to look at it 🥰.

I'm sure I've touched on this before I just don't know when, ah well.

As far as I'm aware a lot of the fandom dislikes that we "didn't get anything" in that scene and like yeah I would have liked to hear Britt's speech to Santana but I think it's fitting that Santana stops her. "You don't have to say anything." I think knowing it's not goodbye is part of it, yeah, as opposed to that being the last time Bram ever interact rip well you won't see me weeping.

But I also think it's that instinctive understanding they have of each other. All or Nothing is such a good Brittana episode because through so little, even nonverbal things, it expresses so much about their dynamic and how well they get each other. And what they have, to be pretentious and cheesy about it, transcended Brittany's speech to others. I also think Santana, even at this point, is quite private with her and Brittany relationship (not romantic atm but still) and she couldn't bear to hear Brittany's words in public like that. Or even in private, really. She was already crying my god can you imagine her after Brittany closes this chapter of their lives for good. No, a wordless hug was the way to go. That, and their post-competition moment said it all. Damn, I love that moment and I can see why Naya did too.

I think Santana at this point had come to terms with her and Brittany not being together romantically so maybe it really wasn't as much the goodbye, just that she really felt like Britt didn't need to vocalize... all of it. Idk, I get where people come from when they lament the lack of a Brittana portion in Britt's speech but I also feel like this is exactly what elevates their moment. What's that quote, “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” Thanks, Jane, good quote.

[himynameisobed]

A North American Break.

I've spent the last couple of weeks in New York and Toronto - New York for Dan and Kara's wedding, and Toronto just to drop by home and see family and friends since it was so close. Clark picked me up from JFK and as we were driving along the highway into the city, I felt a steadily rising affection and nostalgia for North America. I love the skyscrapers, I love the grid-laid streets, I love the inexplicable and boundless sense of forward possibility. I stayed with Clark (and his girlfriend Rathna, who I happily met for the first time) in Williamsburg, which was super convenient because that's where the wedding and all the wedding events were happening (a fact I did not realize beforehand). We got pizza the first night and everyone we interacted with was so full of character, personality and energy. Williamsburg is a hip and creative part of Brooklyn, and people walked around with a kind of selfless entitlement I find difficult to properly capture in words - kind of like an obvious yet understated confidence that never veered too far into outright cockiness - like everyone knew they deserved to take up space but weren't rude about it, and understood that everyone else deserved to take up space too. I can see myself living in a place like Williamsburg after London, and my stay there has really got me considering it. It was hot the whole time so I almost exclusively wore various tank tops and pairs of shorts, and cute boys would smile at me and nice girls would compliment my outfits. The city felt joyful and alive. The wedding itself was beautiful. I was there when Dan and Kara first met, so it was incredibly touching to see how far they've come and be part of the beginning of a new stage of their lives. I love love, and the sweltering heat of the day could not take away from the tender beauty of it. I unexpectedly got to see a lot of people I didn't expect to see while I was in the city. It turns out Renee was there for the same weekend, so we went dancing the night I arrived and hung out with a bunch of her friends a bit the next day. I saw Wusky (who I haven't seen in years) for dinner and got to meet his lovely wife. And my brother was also in town visiting his girlfriend Alison, so they joined me, Clark, Rathna and a couple of our friends at Birds of a Feather for dinner the last night I was there. And then I went to Toronto, which will always always always feel like home. I got to see my friends, and hang out with my siblings, and it was nice to spend a bit of the summer there. I had ramen with Megan on Wednesday night, met up with Conor, Renee, Joff, Gemma and my sister on Thursday night (and watched Legally Blonde at Corktown Common), hung out with the Meta crew + Bram on Friday night (with a special and coincidental guest appearance by Bre at Petty Cash), went to Bre's BBQ before going out dancing with Camilla, Conor and Keyana at Beam Me Up on Saturday night, and then had my goodbye/congratulatory dinner with my family on Sunday night. I flew back on Monday, walking through a storm to St. Patrick station with all my luggage. The rain poured down harder than I remember it pouring in Toronto and I would later learn that I had walked through the beginnings of a flood. Now I'm back in London, wiling away the days until I start my new job. I'm going to make a list of things to do on weekdays that I won't be able to easily do once I start working. And maybe play a video game or two. It's strange: while I was in Toronto I realized I've missed it a lot, but I also feel happy to be back in London. I've gotten used to the energy here and my life and routine. And I think once I start my new job, I'll really start feeling more settled and attached to the city. I'm excited to get back to work.

[ofinkdried]

@dreamalittleme​ || closed starter. ( for henry )

“ remind me, ” bram sighed as he underlined another sentence of a student’s paper with his pen before setting it down and looking up at henry. he was glad to have a friend in henry, someone he knew he could trust -- he didn’t have many, so he was grateful for him. “ why did i become a teacher again ?? all this grading is so tedious... ” he sat back in his chair, running a hand over his face. “ i need more coffee. ” 

[fyodcrs]

Fellow Fyodor fan, pls tell me how are we supposed to cope 😢😢 I loved a lot of moments from this episode (like Aya and Bram father-daughter moment) but I’m having a hard time being excited cuz honestly I’m disappointed?? Like how can Fyodor be killed off like this, his ability and all his secrets were so hyped up. And sigma. Like come on, what was the point of everything he went through if he’s just gonna be offed like this??

I’m trying to make myself feel better by remembering that they made it look like Fitzgerald died at the end of the guild arc, but he actually turned out to be alive. I’m hoping this is the case with Fyodor and Sigma. Or maybe I’m just straight up delulu 🙃

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO COPE 💔💔

I just ranted about this in another ask - Fyodor's death, if it's real, is such a waste. All that build-up, all the mystery surrounding him, all for nothing, I guess? All the unanswered questions, they meant nothing? Had no relevance to the plot at all? What was the point, then? What was the point of his interaction with Sigma? What was the point of Sigma using his Ability to learn Fyodor's secrets? Is Sigma going to turn out to be dead, too, like they implied, or will Dazai remember he exists and go fetch him before he bleeds out on the floor?

Fitzgerald is a good example! I'm hoping it'll be a similar case with Fedya and Sigma, too. Very few characters actually die in this series. I fully expected Fyodor to die (though I was hoping he'd get a redemption arc like Fitzy and Aku instead...) but not like this. And Sigma?? I didn't think in a million years they'd leave this season without confirming his alive and on his way to join the Agency. What kind of bullshit -

I'm right there with you, anon, really, really hoping that they both turn out to be alive, or that things will be different in the manga and this was just Bones. I'm gonna be on pins and needles waiting for the next couple chapters of the manga, that's for sure.

[bloodoathclan]

Since I'm a failure at keeping time schedules, here's three chapter round ups in one :D

Chapter 101

Basically sigma is forced to stand back and watch in terror as dazai attempts to drown Fyodor (and Chuuya in the process), he then has a whole ass speech about how he didn't want to do this to Chuuya (fucking liar) and says goodbye. But instead of saying "sayonara", he says "guudobai", which makes everyone think Chuuya's gonna survive.

Don't get me wrong, I want Chuuya to live as much as the next person, but the thought of anything bad happening to Fyodor makes it feel like I'm losing someone very close to me :/

Chapter 102

This chapter sees us check in on the ada, aya and bram.

Poor Atsushi gets tied up by Teruko after chapter 100 and my poor boys scared :( we also had some bram-aya interactions before they get found by vamp!Akutagawa who, (we know from chapter 102.5) alerted fukichi to come and scout out the area for anyone else...

Chapter 102.5

Starts off with aku fuckin chOKING BRAM THEN TURNS ON AYA! Uh aku... idk if choking bram's gonna work...

Then fukichi essentially plays battleship while searching for anyone else in the general area.

Kunikida takes out a guard and continues to search for poor Atsushi, Aya and bram. He finds a singular shoe on the floor before he got jumped by fuKICH FUCKING HELL!!!

Poor Atsushi just woke up and finds himself strapped to a medical bed (probably having flashbacks to being treated by yosano) and Teruko has her sword tip pointed at Atsushi's poor face :( poor boy can't catch a break.

[xshingie]

Yay! I'm so glad you finally got your copyrighted video back! Another woefully underrated video. I had a lot of criticisms about Nocturne writing-wise, but at the same time, even though I think the original Castlevania show is better-written, something about the characters/themes/messages resonated with more deeply that I found myself far more attached to. I really liked how you brought up the parallels between the societal reason why these monsters were created -- they are, after all a reflection of humanity. I really liked how Nocturne attempted to setup vampires in the context of allegorical themes of class oppression, the enduring scar that colonialism leaves on its people, and slavery. It really set up more meaningful commentary on society. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there is also an thematic element of vampires being vehicles for suppression/indulgence of sexuality -- there's a reason why vampire attacks are setup as sexual attacks (i.e., biting in the neck, the sensation being described as erotic, their hypnotic powers). These are themes common in Bram Stoker's Dracula. I think that could also tie into Nocturne as well, since there was commentary on the Abbott not being exempt from celibacy.

I also appreciated the additional historical insight you brought into your analysis and I agree that understanding more of the history elevates the viewing experience. I found myself researching more about Haitian Vodou and realized there were so many subtle blink-and-you'll-miss-it-moments in Annette's flashback and displays of powers that aren't even explained to you (i.e., all the veve symbols, Papa Legba, Edouard acknowleding his privilege as part of the gens de couleur, the vodou ceremonial rituals that Cecile Fatiman who was a IRL revolutionist that were actually gathering points to organize revolutions) -- all these things I'm mentioning I didn't know anything about and it wasn't until I read further I could appreciate more of the story. I don't know much about the French revolution besides the very basics (the class issues, ideals of democracy, etc), so I will definitely be doing more research there! :)

I agreed on a lot of your points and takes on the characters. I also thought Erzabeth Bathory, while a really bad villain character wise (good god, her character was really cringe for me), I can see what they're trying to do thematically. Drolta was super enjoyable and dynamic to watch on screen. I know people were upset that Richter wasn't the front-and-center of the show, but I think what works really well for the Belmont formula is that oftentimes the Belmont is the straight-man main character, that enables the supporting characters to come to life. Trevor Belmont is also an example where he is kind of boring by himself, but the show's characters really only came alive with the entertaining interactions of the titular trio.

My favorite character is Annette! :D I love the drive, dimension of her character. I know everybody loves Olrox, but I am just so in love with Annette, with her flaws and everything. I really like the parallel arcs between Richter and Annette (can you tell I'm a shipper, heh).

On a off-topic note, your voice is very soothing and calm to listen to :D

I was finally able to get the video put back up! Please, give it a look and tell me what you think!

[amazonworrier]

This is a bit of a random question, but besides Santana is there anyone else you can see Brittany ending up with?

Hmmmm. Not really. I think that's mostly because RIB didn't give Brittany much time with other characters though, whereas Santana had plenty of moments with a lot of the girls to give people reasons to ship her with them.

Bartie was kind of sweet while it lasted, but I never saw them as endgame. Bram could've been okay but the writers insisted on having Sam say that dumb line about how he'd always had a thing for Brittany when he spent all of season 3 going after Mercedes, which soured the whole thing for me. I didn't mind the idea of Bike, but that's purely based on headcanons because I'm not sure Britt and Mike ever actually have a one-on-one interaction onscreen lol.

If Brittana wasn't endgame I feel like Britt would meet someone else outside of glee club instead. Because no one else in that club seemed to understand her half the time except for Santana. I also think Santana would be a little jealous of Brittany's new relationship at first, even if she was with someone else, because that's just who she is as a person haha. But regardless of who they end up with, Brittana would ultimately stay friends.

[andrydayana]

21 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me

Hi, I’m Andry, Welcome to my world!

Let’s play the next game, I’ll write 21 facts about me and I’d love to read yours if you do the same. To make it more fun you can nominate your friends!

I love interacting with the #writingcommunity #artistscommunity

So here we go!

1.- I am a writer. I write horror and fantasy, mostly about characters who die unexpectedly and in a tragically way. Fan of the bizarre and gore.

2.- I draw since I was 6 years old. When I was a teenager I had a notebook where I drew strange things, dead people and all that. My mother threw it in the trash!

3.- I fought many years against depression and anxiety. After many years of therapy nothing seemed to improve, I just learned to love myself and love life. If you are dealing with something like that let me tell you that your family loves you and you are important. They want to see you happy, I want to see you happy!

4.- My favorite colors are red, black and purple

5.- I drink tea every day, I am definitely a tea person.

6.- I love to eat vegetables, fruits and lead a healthy life.

7.- I am Mexican.

8.- I love to travel, I am seriously thinking of moving permanently to the United States.

9.- I love taking risks, life is an adventure!

10.- I sing, in fact my vocal range is soprano but I have never done it professionally.

11.- I am Sagittarian, fire element!

12.- Puppies are my weakness. Especially the Maltese and poodles.

13.- I consider myself a very homely woman, I really like being at home, cooking and maintaining an atmosphere of peace and harmony.

14.- My favorite bands are Mcr, Misfits, the cure, metallica, iron maiden, led zeppelin, pink floyd and black sabbath.

15.- I love to listen to jazz and classic music in the mornings. Some of my fav  are (Chopin, Debussy, Vivaldi, Beethoven, Paganini)

16.- My greatest influences in writing are: Edgar Allan Poe, H.P Lovecraft, Guy de Maupassant, Bram Stoker and Vladimir Nabokov.

17.- I really enjoy watching anime and Korean dramas.

18.- Skin care is of the utmost importance to me, I use several facial masks in the week as well as sunscreen, serums and moisturizing facial creams.

19.- I am thinking of creating a YouTube channel and uploading daily life vlogs.

20.- I  graduated with honors from the degree in literature and years later I studied business administration.

21.- I am very focused on studying paranormal cases. I would like to do it in a professional way. Hard to believe it but I’ve had more than one terrifying experience with spirits in my life.

[tuiyla]

How do you see brittana's relationship after season 4 finale, before they get back together? Do you headcanon them calling, texting often or not so much? But also do you think brittana would've gotten back together sooner if Heather were available during the first half of season 5? Actually, do you think Brittany and Sam would've broken up if Heather didn't have to leave the show? (I maintain that as lovely as those scenes were everybody crying and just being super sad about Brittany leaving for MIT made zero sense lol especially Santana, hey Britt you're moving to a state right next to mine, damn I'm so sad you're leaving Ohio)

My heart says yes, they'd text and call, but canon evidence says otherwise. Brittana are best friends, first and foremost, and I think the main reason behind their breakup was to safeguard that before it ends on bad terms and they lose that bond. But the sad thing is, it seems to weaken regardless in season 4. Part of it is just the nature of the TV show, so of course we'll see them have convos on occasions when Santana is in Lima rather than implying that they keep in touch. But Santana also heard about Bram from Tina and then we see no hints of interaction between the two until 4x22, when Sam tells Santana about something not being okay with Britt. Again in season 5, it looks like Brittana haven't talked or at least not honestly since Brittany left for MIT. And again I can say this is because their plot was confined to those two eps so having convos before then is just inconvenient for the plot and the structure of the show, but it's still the way it goes.

I think, if they had remained apart for longer they would have bounced back to being best friends but they don't seem to have that in season 5A. I guess it was beyond the Glee writers to imply something small like the two sometimes calling but still it wasn't there. I think 4x22 marks an important milestone in their dynamic, specifically broken-up dynamic, which I'm happy to elaborate on in another post. For now, let's just say that I think they get past the initial post-breakup post-Bram awkwardness there but thinking about each other still hurts too much to keep in touch too much. I think while Santana's with Dani she feels less of a temptation, too, at least that's what she tells herself. SO all this to say that, based on what the show gives me, I assume they rarely ever talk beyond the occasional funny cat meme. They're both pretending to be someone they're not, essentially, during this time, and try to convince themselves it's the right path. And when they meet again, they find themselves again, too. Season 5 Brittana rights.

As for production perspectives and Heather's pregnancy, phew, anyone's guess. This is a tricky thing because there's a different version for every scenario. I wasn't there so I don't know, but I'd assume whether Heather was ever coming back was very up in the air. Had they known that she would for sure be up for returning and on a semi-permanent basis after her maternal leave, hmm. Well, I believe Ryan Murphy stated/at least implied Brittana weren't gonna get back together. Purely speculation on my part but I think Cory's death changed a lot of things about the show's direction. So I think it was when they were doing the end of season 5A that they decided what Brittana's fate would be.

Here's the thing: if Heather was available during season 5A, that's pretty much a "she never left" scenario for me. Let's say she didn't get pregnant at that time, maybe only years later. Brittany would stay part of the Lima storyline. She and Sam would still break up because it ran its course, just for a reason other than MIT. I think the writers would still decide, ultimately and affected by Cory's death and the restructuring, to get them back together in the 100th/101st. Say, in a version where Brittany goes to MIT but Heather is still available at least as a guest star, she might make appearances in season 5A but I still think Santana's storyline is fairly intact and the 100th goes much the same way. It just makes sense, you know? With the way things turned out, for Brittana to get back together then. I don't see it happening sooner even if we change factors like Heather's pregnancy/availability. Only if we change Cory's death, which sadly we cannot - not that we can change the others but, you know.

As for your point about Brittany's goodbye scene, well, yes. I think we have to consider the production side of things here. While yes, Brittany is only going to Massachusetts, Heather is leaving potentially for good or at least a long while. No one knew for sure when or if she'd ever come back, right? So that bleeds into it and personally I don't mind that, she had the second-longest streak of episodes at that point and that's a pretty big deal. Even if we ignore the Heather side of things, I still think the emotional truth of the scene makes it make sense. Like yeah Anon we can say "she's just going to Massachusetts, this makes zero sense!" lol but I think that's being a bit harsh on the scene 😅

Even just as Brittany the character, I love that scene for her. I love this whole episode, actually. No one ever expected her to go far, bar Santana. She was the dumb blonde, the hot cheerleader everyone liked but no one really saw. She was given a voice in that choir room, she fell in love there, and she found people she could call a family. She was doing her second senior year, on the brink of believing everyone who ever called her stupid and now things are moving so fast and it's scary and exciting but also sad because she's leaving all this behind. Even if she's only going to MIT, this is her graduation. Except she doesn't get the gowns and all because she missed her chance and now it's all happening all at once. (Some noise for the Santana getting Sue to include Britt with the 2013 seniors scene, thank you very much.) This is her goodbye, no matter how far she's going physically.

In regards to Santana and MIT being closer to New York, actually, well. I guess this circles back to them keeping in touch in season 5A which I don't believe they really did. Because it's not about the physical distance, it's about the moving on portion. Santana has already moved on from Lima and it broke them apart. Now Brittany is leaving too, and it's bittersweet but it's a fresh start. A fresh start for both, separately. Until, as mentioned, they realize they needed each other to stay true to themselves.