#& my thoughts

[beccawise7]

The aftermath of craving & desire is almost always the most beautiful moment.

Your body spent. Your mind empty of worries, only focused on her breath against your skin.

Still connected as you relax into her arms. Her fingers soothing you after you completely owned every part of her.

Beautiful. Intimate. Priceless.

~beccawise7💜����

[ragingstillness2]

I’ve lost my mind, too

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 12: The One Where We Start Laying the Yellow Brick Road to Italy

I realized the other day that, even though I like to bounce around from place to place in the Lukola timeline, I probably needed to start tightening things up on the ship if I ever wanted to get to the end of the story. And, yes, dammit, this story better have a finale at some point because there’s nothing more annoying than an open-ended ending, particularly in the romance genre.

Today we’re going to take a quick jaunt over to Italy because –

NO! Not because Luke is allegedly filming there. If you’re into real-time stalking, you’re in the wrong blog. But, I’m sure there’s a Discord for that.

It’s because I’ve had several people ask for my opinion about the change in behavior between Luke and Nicola during their Day 1 interviews there. Wait – people are interested in my thoughts? Wow, that’s actually kind of nice. Thank you! Okay, back to what I was saying –

Was there a change in behavior when Luke and Nicola reached Italy? Yeah, actually, there kind of was.

By May 9, we had been gifted with a slew of material from Luke, Nicola, and the Bridgerton cast and, I must admit, those early interviews are some of the most entertaining of the tour. In the very beginning, Nicola appeared as the utmost professional – charming, intelligent, and witty at the right moments – and Luke played her likeable counterpart to “Book Colin” perfection – bouncing between being awkwardly boyish and wickedly roguish, all while looking at Nicola like she had just served him homemade peanut butter crumble.

The two of them together, playing off each other, in my opinion, was better than Bridgerton Season 3 (you cannot beat the World Tour being 99% Luke and Nicola, with only a few random side characters taking up screentime). There was some major “Electric Love” radiating from those two throughout the tour, but it seemed very much heightened in the beginning (probably because they hadn’t yet answered the same question 67 times). By the way, if you haven’t heard that song by Børns, go have a listen. It will, at the very least – hopefully – put you in an upbeat mood for the day.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes – was there a change in behavior between Luke and Nicola when they reached Italy?

Absolutely.

Do I know why?

Absolutely not.

Perhaps Luke was bent because someone spilled his coffee, or Nicola was upset because her stylist made her to wear that little silver bow in her hair. In my opinion, the most intriguing part of Day 1 of the Italy press junket was that Luke and Nicola struggled with answering the question, “What is love?” I swear they both babbled on like two kids in debate class who hadn’t bothered to read the material given to them before taking their respective podiums. They finally seemed to settle on Luke’s “Maybe it’s, like, connection.” Well, they seemed to be missing the “connection” that day.

Honestly, no one can explain their “don’t stand so close to me” vibe during those first day interviews except Luke and Nicola. But, we can at least have some fun and speculate about it with a bird’s eye view. At this point, you should know that I love spreading the puzzle pieces out and seeing how they might all connect. Most people – when putting a puzzle together – start with the side pieces, right? You’ll get my joke in a moment (I hope).

In March 2024 – I don’t know the specific date because my timeline is rather murky going back that far (I was unaware Lukola even existed!) – Luke traveled to Los Angeles for a photo spread with InStyle magazine. I’ve heard two versions of this story. The first being that Luke traveled to Los Angeles with Antonia alone; the second being that he traveled to Los Angeles with his friend group, which included Antonia. I couldn’t tell you which is true, and it really doesn’t matter because it doesn’t necessarily add or take away from today’s story.

Before I get started, I wanted to give a “hurrah” to The-One-Whose-Group-Chat-Fills-in-Lots-of-Missing-Bits-for-Me-Including-the-Part-Where-Video-Footage-of-Antonia-in-Los-Angeles-Seemed-to-Indicate-a-Celebrity-Was-Not-the-Videographer-and-There-Were-So-Many-British-Accents-in-the-Background-One-Would-Fancy-a-Guess-She-was-Traveling-with-a-Group.

Moving along…

On April 7, 2024, Antonia posted a series of photographs and clips to her Instagram grid indicating she had been in Los Angeles, including one where she was laying on a blanket in front of the Griffith Observatory and one where she was sitting at a table marked with the number “95.” On April 14, she posted a second set of photographs, tagging her location as Beverly Hills, California and using “End of Beginning” as her audio (yes, I side-eyed this choice of music so don’t feel bad if you did as well). The second photo dump included her lounging on a rooftop.

I’m not going to delve into posts made by Luke and Nicola during that timeframe. I mean, I’m sure Nicola’s comment, “’Friends’…sure Jan,” on Luke’s April 11 reshared post about Bridgerton Season 3 was only meant to be applicable to Polin. And, if Luke wanted to use yellow and black hearts to represent the colors Nicola and he were wearing in his April 12 post, that’s cool, too. And, I am definitely not going to speculate on Nicola’s April 15 post (for Big Mood) that Luke liked, and she captioned, “I will bite off anything that dangles.”

By April 21, Luke and Nicola were in Australia at the World Premiere of Bridgerton. I am only going to provide a quick overview of Australia instead of a full-fledged recital because, at some point, I will almost certainly dedicate an entry to this country. Let’s start with Luke pulling off the hottest walk-up in Netflix human history (I mean, have you watched it in slow motion?). Then, we had the hard launch of the handholding business (because why again?). And, we had Luke tripping over his words, “We’re very, like, giving…I’m not talking about those scenes…” Oh, and Nicola telling an interviewer that, “[y]ou can’t keep a good girl down,” and, in response, Luke’s lips curling into a wicked-ass Cheshire cat's. We had them in the garden, with Nicola bending down to hug Luke after she had scratched/hit/petted his head. Perhaps I should not mention the possibility of a man’s shirt being visible on a bed behind Nicola (I said possibility not that it was). And, Nicola telling Luke, “You’re the funnier one,” when he was concerned that perhaps Benedict was funnier than Colin. Then we had the “Nicola-in-the-green-dress” day where, as they were going down the steps, Luke seemed to instinctively reach for Nicola’s hand, but she played it cool and took his arm instead. Oh, and that entire “green dress” day in general (I mean, there was so much shit going on that day). And, best we do not forget Nicola saying, “the best foundation for love is friendship,” which mirrored the bracelet “someone…in Australia” gave Luke that read, “Do you believe the best foundation for love is friendship?” Because that’s not suspicious at all. Alright, let’s get the fuck out of Australia – but not before I mention Nicola commenting on Luke’s April 27 Instagram post with “Ready for the next?” and Luke replying, “Absolutely.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, their shenanigans in Australia expanded the USS Lukola tenfold.

Oh, also, let me throw this in here because, if you are a “ring truther,” this fact plays a significant role in the Lukola timeline. If you do not know what a “ring truther” is, that’s perfectly fine. You can catch up by reading Entry 6 (The One Where I Explained the Claddagh Ring to My Dad) of my blog. I mentioned in Entry 6 that some Lukola sleuths have stated the metadata they pulled from the sketches of the Claddagh ring uploaded by Chupi indicate they were done as early as April 26. In other words, it means the Claddagh was likely commissioned between Australia and Italy. In fact, if we are to believe Chupi when it said it took four weeks to make the ring, then it had to have been commissioned by May 9, 2024, at the latest. Oh, lookie there, that’s Day 1 of the Italy interviews.

But, before we get to May 9, let’s pause on April 29. That was the day Luke’s InStyle spread was published – yes, the one I mentioned earlier. Luke has pictures from this photoshoot still on his Instagram grid – in fact, Nicola commented, “Yess dude!!” on them – but those aren’t the pictures I want to talk about. No, I want to talk about the pictures InStyle posted on its Instagram grid that day. These photographs came directly from Luke, which was confirmed by the InStyle article when it said, “…the actor delighted the InStyle team by delivering the polaroid photos he’d taken for this story tucked oh-so-carefully in a little brown bag for safekeeping.” The pictures Luke provided, among others, included one where he was laying on a blanket in front of the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles; one where he was sitting at a table marked with the number “95;” and one where he is sitting in a lounge chair on a rooftop. If you want to see the pictures, InStyle still has them available – you just need to go through hundreds of posts to find them. Luke did not like this InStyle post, which was kind of odd because he was tagged in it, and they were reportedly his pictures.

Why did these InStyle polaroids seem so familiar?

Oh, that’s right, because they were.

Remember that April 7 post of Antonia’s I mentioned a bit ago? Yeah, the one where Antonia posted a bunch of random pictures from Los Angeles and – only after InStyle posted Luke’s polaroids – fans realized Antonia had preemptively posted her version of some of Luke’s polaroids.

I am not going to speculate too much about these pictures or their implications in this blog post, but these pictures may resurface in future posts because I find myself side-eyeing the fact they even exist. And, we should probably accept that Luke was aware of them before his pictures came out on April 29 because he threw a like on Antonia’s April 7 post. Could it have been a “blind” like? Sure, I guess, but the logical side of my brain says he probably looked through them at the time she posted. Let’s not worry too much about it right now, though.

After trying to write out my “general” opinion about the pictures several times, I finally decided that the best way I could articulate my thoughts was through the conversation I had with my father. Yes, Dear Dad returns again for another insightful Q&A.

I started by showing Luke and Antonia’s three “matchy” pictures to my dad and then asked him to compare them. To be clear, the pictures were their respective Griffith Observatory, Table 95, and Rooftop Lounging pictures.

Me: “So what do you think?”

Dad: “About what?”

Me: “Ugh! Why did Antonia take those pictures?”

Dad: “Well, to show she’s part of the ‘in’ crowd. The only reason I can see them being taken is if she was going to put them on the Internet.”

Me: “Uhh, as a matter of fact, she did put them on the Internet! Approximately three weeks before Luke’s were published.”

Dad: “See! I’m not as dumb as you think.”

Me: “Whatever. So, you really believe that? She took them to show people that she was, like, there?”

Dad: “Yeah. Why else would she take them? They’re not the kind of photos you’d take normally. What’s she going to do, put them in an album and show her friends in five years and say, ‘Look, I sat in Luke’s chair?’ Who does that? Nobody. Plus, Luke’s pictures look like they were taken with a polaroid camera and Antonia took hers with, I guess, a phone. Why use two different cameras? Again, it doesn’t make sense. Seems to me like she knew what pictures he was taking, and she was trying to copy them so she could put them on the Internet.”

Thanks, Dad.

You do not have to accept my father’s thoughts on the photographs. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I think we can meet in the middle and opine that, at a minimum, Antonia’s pictures caused the weak Lukolas to jump overboard; at most, they gave some people stalker vibes; and somewhere in between, they introduced Antonia's negative influence over the fandom and what some may consider trolling behavior (even if it wasn’t recognized then).

Now, before we land in Italy on May 9, let’s summarize what has happened during the preceding two months.

First, we had Luke traveling to Los Angeles in March with Antonia, either alone or as part of a friend group. Luke had pictures of himself taken while there.

Second, we had Antonia posting pictures in early April that would be linked directly to Luke’s pictures by the end of the month.

Third, throughout the month of April, we had Luke and Nicola traveling together for the World Tour. We have all seen these interviews, and we have all formed independent opinions about them.

Fourth, based on Chupi’s own words, we know the Claddagh ring must have been commissioned no later than May 9.

Okay, now we’ve reached May 9, Day 1 of the Italy press junket.

Besides the press interviews, what happened on that day?

Well, Antonia reposted Luke singing Coldplay’s “Yellow” to her TikTok account.

Uhh… Huh. Interesting.

I mean, it’s possible that this was just a coincidence and she just liked Luke’s version of it. Or, it’s possible Antonia knew that “Yellow” was the Polin wedding song and she anticipated trolling Nicola and/or the fandom with it. But, if we believe she knew “Yellow” was the Polin wedding song, that means either Luke told her, or someone with that knowledge told her (i.e., someone from Luke’s team or family/friend group). We also know that Luke mentioned this song in the May 16, 2022 Netflix Tudum article when Nicola and he were asked about their song choices for Season 3. Luke stated his frontrunner was “Yellow” by Coldplay “because of Penelope’s dresses.” Regardless of why Antonia posted the song, I find it hard to imagine Netflix, Bridgerton, Shondaland, Nicola, or Luke were too impressed by Antonia resharing it on TikTok. I mean, at this point, Netflix & Co. would surely have been aware that Antonia’s “copycat post” went over with the fandom like a wet blanket in December in Canada. I imagine some questions were being asked and Luke may very well have received a hand slap from Corporate – and maybe even from Nicola.

But, that’s not the only thing that happened on May 9.

Luke posted his Homme magazine spread to his Instagram grid on that day, too. He captioned the post, “Chatting through all things S3 with @hommeplusmag [o]ut next week x.” Nicola commented, “Yessss,” and Luke tagged his post with the location of Hackney, London. That last part – about Luke tagging the location in Hackney – apparently sent the fandom into a deep-dive of…Nicola’s backyard. Why? Because Nicola lives in Hackney (Nicola herself confirmed she lived in Hackney in a March 18, 2024 interview with Derry Now), and rumors started to circulate that Luke’s pictures were taken at her home.

Hmm, I didn’t realize May 9 was such a busy day, did you?

So, which came first – the chicken or the egg? Did Antonia repost “Yellow” to her TikTok before Luke posted his Homme in Hackney images to Instagram, or vice versa? I’m sure someone out there has this information. The answer might help shine some light as to why Luke and Nicola seemed “off” in the early part of their Day 1 Italy interviews. But, then again, does the order really matter? Regardless of who posted first, it would seem to me that “Yellow” was a very possible culprit for the different energy on set that day.

That, or Luke really was peeved over someone spilling his coffee.

[megismyname]

I’m sorry but I have to say it…

IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON FROM JUNE 12TH.

STOP ANALYZING PREMIERE NIGHT CLIPS.

STOP STARING AT PAP PICS.

STOP STUDYING FACIAL EXPRESSIONS IN EVERY PICTURE.

STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.

You’re truly not doing what you think you’re doing by continuing the conversation. If you don’t like Luke, just say it and move the fuck on.

By continuing to paint him as some false villain, you are only building more hate against a man who is a very important person to Nicola herself. And you are all doing it “in defense of Nicola.”

Stop. JUST STOP.

No one truly knows what happened that day except the cast. And whatever it was, they are adults and have moved on. Nicola has been interviewed multiple times recently where she has still mentioned her love for Luke - Time 100 Next ring a bell?

So again, no one is forcing you to like Luke. But cut the shit on painting him as some evil villain who broke her heart. I may not know her personally but I PROMISE you that this is not the win you think it is.

And as always, if you’re that hung up on some questionable events from a television red carpet premiere that occurred 6 months ago then I have a Better Help referral code waiting for you because it’s definitely time for therapy.

[mylittlepimp]

It was meant to be a marriage of politics, and instead she finds herself as the caregiver. Surrogate mother most days.

Emperor Caracalla is sweet. Often child like. Innocent. But easily manipulated.

Emperor Geta is not as sweet or innocent. He's often angry. Hungry. Fearsome.

Both are troubled and unloved. Both somehow lean on her, and only her for their needs.

Emperor Geta loves to show her off during the day. Parade her around on his arm, dress her in the finest gold accessories and beautiful fabrics that compliment her skin. She's his after all. His wife.

But by night.

Emperor Caracalla seeks her comfort. To be held by her, while he mumbles on and on about how mean Geta is to him. She'll hold Caracalla's head in her lap, run her fingers through his hair, and she'll listen to him.

These routines have been going on for years.

Until Emperor Geta finds out that is.

Emperor Geta shouts at his brother, screaming at him like a rabid hound to stay away from his wife!

Emperor Caracalla is reduced to tears, begging on his knees to stay around her. He doesn't want to lose his only lifeline to the care, the love, and the longing he so desperately desires.

Emperor Geta throws his cup of wine at his brother. He won't hear of it. His brother's tears mean nothing to him. His begging pointless. She's his wife and he does not share with anyone!

(I don't know where that came from but I had to write it down)

[feathery-dreamer]

Oh yeah it's one thing being insulted or mocked or hated by a tiny number of strangers. One thing receiving that from some rando on the street, or a faceless account on the internet. A single or a small number of people you haven't met before and likely will never meet again, you can move on after acknowledging it hurt.

It's a whole different matter when it comes from somebody you know, love and care about. Or when it's someone who has (or represents) authority over you and thus controls your future. Or when somebody you know/love/trust/obey (see previous) has another person they know/love/trust/obey, and that other person says those things.

It gets even worse with repetition, either from the same person(s) or from thousands (especially easy on the internet). You may not shut down or harm yourself after one hate message every few weeks, but if it just keeps coming that can lead to the worst. Some "get used to it" by growing desensitized, and lose empathy for others in the process; I don't view that as "improvement".

All this to say: don't sweep that shit under the rug, it'll make a lump you'll constantly trip on later.

People always say: "Not everyone is gonna like you, and that's ok, nothing to take personally, it doesn't matter" yet it still sucks. It sucks when it's your teacher, it sucks when it's your boss or co-worker or family member. It even sucks when it's a friends friend or someone we barely know. It hurts. And you do not have to gaslight yourself into thinking that it doesn't hurt when it does. You're allowed to be upset when life is hard. You're allowed to feel an emotion, even more when it makes perfect logical sense. We talk to a friend about our feelings, journal, reflect, use coping skills. We find peace after a while, that's a more realistic solution. You got this. It will be ok.

[biancadoes1]

You don't need to share this. I just love those people. They know Luke so well. ADHD: the reason for everything.

„Sorry to burst the bubble, but us peeps with ADHD almost always have some kind of oral fixation (I see you, Luke. He smokes too (well...vapes?) and as a fellow ADHD oral fixation babe, I feel the kinship), so we're licking our lips and touching our mouths and all that because we're stimming. Many people have thought I'm flirting when I'm just self soothing with a stimming activity like playing with my tongue piercing or biting my lip. Neurotypical people often have a misunderstanding of how neurodivergant people's body language differs from theirs, since it isn't widespread knowledge. But yeah....he's literally just stimming. Same as when he's touching his lips”

Here’s the thing.

We don’t know Luke. We don’t know for sure if that’s how he stimms.

Unless you know Luke Newton I think it’s really weird to tell other people what he does when he’s stimming.

So unless he tells you that to your face, in person, that he’s stimming when he’s touching his lips and eye fucking Nicola, I don’t care to hear or take this shit in to consideration.

STOP USING ADHD AS A FUCKING EXCUSE FOR LUKE NOT BEING ATTRACTED TO NICOLA.

I’m starting to get really pissed off that something I also struggle with is being used a counter argument for people who can’t accept that these two are likely together.

Shut the fuck up. Stop claiming this man does certain things when you don’t know him in real life. You look fucking stupid.

[soul-from-another-era]

Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.

[echoesoftheinfinite]

[xnoworneverr]

There’s a reason why we feel lonely even though we aren’t alone. It’s because loneliness is not about how many friends we have or how many people are in the room with us. It’s a disconnection from others. Being social doesn’t cure loneliness, loneliness comes when there is not a single person close enough to see past the illusion to who we really are and what we really feel inside.

[sleepinsidemysoul]

sit close ... read to her .. calm her mind body and soul...

[eulaties]

love how each pjo book takes place in the span of a week. so like every summer percy has one crazy week and then the rest of his year is normal

[princess-unipeg]

Thinking about how Laios visited his sister at her magic school in the middle of the night all disheveled.

Then Falin just agreeing to leave with him without letting anyone at the school know? Assuming she didn’t even leave a note for anyone since she might assume nobody really cared if she just disappeared out of nowhere?

She and Laios had been adventuring for 3 years prior to the series. So during the time when they went to the island and got jobs bodyguarding Gold Strippers Marcille might have decided to track Falin as soon as she left.

Once she finally found the siblings she doesn’t hesitate to scold Laios for essentially kidnapping his sister and dragging her to some island without anyone’s knowledge. Falin had to reassure Marcille that it was her choice to follow her brother. It was probably then that Marcille decided to join their party. Shortly before the Red Dragon incident. Marcille would have dragged Falin back to school if that was what she wanted but Falin wanted to stay by her brother’s side so Marcille decided to join as well.

[piratesexmachine420]

New Moon of the Gods

Two years ago, the entire titled nobility of the empire just …disappeared.

Apparently, they'd prepared for the wrong apocalypse. Imperial religion was preoccupied with a prophesied war against their reanimated dead. The world is strewn with relics of their paranoia. Fortresses. Armies. Crypts. People.

Shuffle a deck of playing cards, draw five and place them face-up. This describes your environment.

Whenever a card without a meaning is drawn, the GM assigns it one -- character, location, weather, whatever. (Should write this down)

Characters have three skills -- speed, sense and strength. Represent each with a die (any value, you choose) which mediate interactions:

Magic - roll your sense against your speed: On success replace target face-up card; else replace a random card and roll again.

Force - roll your strength against your sense: On success put target face-up card at the bottom of the deck; else remove a random card from the game and roll again.

Talk - roll your speed against your strength: On success choose any card from the deck to put face-up; else draw from the deck bottom and roll again.

(The GM should also replace/draw/remove cards where relevant. Put replaced cards at the bottom of the deck. Shuffle whenever.)

Okay to archive! Or for anyone to do whatever they like with it. WTFPL terms apply.

Last year my mechanical instincts got the better of me and I ended up with more of a card game than an RPG, hopefully this strikes a better (read: any) balance!

Is it interesting? Probably not -- there isn't a tremendous amount of design space to explore in 200 word when trying to play it straight. Not at my ability, anyway. "What if magic, fighting and speech were like rock paper scissors" is like design 101.

Still, it was as fun an exercise as ever, and a great opportunity to explore my "what if the a magically enforced, typo'd version of the Titles of Nobility Amendment passed and accidentally exiled everyone with a government position" world I've been kicking around for a while. I look forward to next year!

200 Word RPGs 2024

Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.

This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.

[m6lancholiaa]

I’m a perfectionist but also a lazy bitch